#so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD. #EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion'' #they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either? #i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them. #i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to. #but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway? #keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine? #try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened? #i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X. #go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book. #because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped. #everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[justme315]

Family 1/? (g/t parenting story)

Warning:

Mention of Foster care, fear

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Summary:

Mark and James are 36 years olds. They've been together since they were teens and have been happyly married for a long time. They want to be parents, that's why they have been trying to adopt from the foster system for 5 years now, but for unspecified reasons their family case is on hold and there is no child/children they could adopt despite their excellent results on the course for a foster/adoptive family.

Cain is a 14-year-old borrower who takes care of his 8-year-old little sister - Lizzie - since their parents are gone. The kids have just moved into a new house, and not knowing human's schedule, Cain can't go borrowing yet, but Lizzie has an idea..

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James POV:

"I can't believe it!" shouts Mark "Why are they sending a refusal again?!"

"I don't know," I say in a shaky voice. So many years of trying to adopt yet nothing. We meet all the needs of a child, we have well-paid jobs, a large house, competences, great results after the adoption course, we have everything and yet they do not want to let us become parents. They don't want us to be happy. I start crying.

"Don't cry baby" Mark says softly. He sits on the floor across from me and looks me straight in the eyes "We're fine honey. We passed all the tests, we did the best we could. They're the assholes who don't want to give us a baby but remember we are going to be daddies. We're going to have a wonderful family and we will have our lovely baby at home with us and we will love them so much."

"You promise?" i sob.

"I promise"

-----

Cains POV:

"Lizzie, please be quieter!" I yell at my sister when she plays too loudly. We just moved and in a new house, we have to be extra careful. Not that we can normally be loud, the life of the borrower does not allow it. It's hard for me to rebuild a shelter in our new hideout, but I'll manage! I'm sure it will be okay. This place seems quiet and has a lot of space. I think that in two or three weeks we will be feeling at home. Not that we really should or could feel like that way somewhere, but it would be nice to stay somewhere a little longer.. I hope there are no children or pets in this house. That would cause a lot of worry. I only saw two adult men so far, but there are a lot of toys around the house so it looks like there is a child here, although with such peace and quietness I can doubt it.

"Cain, silly, stop worrying" I hear Lizzie say before tapping my head.

"Yeah, sorry" I sigh. "But in a new house we have to be ultra careful, okay? We can't be loud. We also have to be very good because there are new people here and we don't know their schedule. That's why I can't go borrowing for now and we have to bravely endure" I say in a nice tone to my little sister, who sits on my lap and hugs me. How are we going to survive without food? But risking going out in a new house is too dangerous..

"But we don't have any food left!" says Lizzie. God, raising a little girl alone is so hard. I wish dad and mom were here. They would know what to do. They would take care of us, I wouldn't have to be afraid or worry about food, they would take care of everything. I miss them. It's been almost 3 years since they were caught. It's been almost 3 years since we lost them. It's been almost 3 years since I have to take care of my sister and myself. I'm only 14, raising a child and borrowing is very difficult at that age! But I know no other borrowers would help us. Nobody helps orphans. We have no choice. We have to live like this. I have to do everything I can for the sake of Lizzie, my only family left. She needs me.

"I can't borrow today, I have to look at human's behavior first, but I'll bring food as soon as I can"

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Lizzies POV:

It's been 3 days without food. Cain is afraid to go borrowing. It's stupid, you can't live without food! I don't think he knows that. He told me that as far as he knew, there were only two adult humans in the house, which is probably a good thing. I don't understand why he won't go, he's good at borrowing, no human has ever seen him. And I think humans in general are stupid. They would never catch Cain or me. Because he's so afraid, I will be brave and fetch the food myself! He will see how big I am now and that he doesn't have to be so afraid for me and that he doesn't have to do everything alone. I take his hook and go. He's sleeping right now so it must be very late. We already have a tunnel to the kitchen, so getting food should be easy. I walk out of the tunnel onto the kitchen counter.

"Easy" I whisper to myself. Why was he so worried? It is very easy-pesy. It's my first time in a completely open space. Everything is so big, actually it's super cool! Why doesn't he ever take me with him?! It's so cool outside! The only problem is I can't see any food. That's bad. I need food. I look around and see a cupboard up. It's not that far. I just need to throw Cain's hook to get to stick and climb up. Relax. I throw and it really sticks. I knew I was talented! I start climbing and reach the very top. I peek inside and see chips. I'm so hungry. They look so appetizing as if they were begging me to eat them. I try to open the cupboard door, but it won't even move. "Why don't you open?!" I gets upset. I don't like that it's starting to get hard. I try to open harder. Still nothing. Finally, I pull with all my might. Oh no. The door opens and pushes me down. I'm attached to the hook's ld cord but I get tangled. I scream as I fall. I don't think it's loud though. That means I didn't get anyone's attention, which means humans are still asleep like stupid mice. But that also means I didn't scream loud enough to wake Cain. What will I do now?! I'm tangled up and can't to move at all. I'm a little scared. It's a silly lie. I'm very scared! I'm out in the open and there's absolutely nothing I can do. Doing anything without Cain was a bad idea. I start crying. I want to go back to our hideout, to my brother.. It must be a nightmare. I cry trying to break free. I need Cain! What if humans will wake up?! I'm so scared... Right now I'm hearing something. Sounds weird. Very unheard of on such a large scale. Almost like… footsteps?! Oh no. No no no!!

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James POV:

It's quite early, already around 5am, even though it's still rather dark outside. I should be getting ready for work now. I could have slept 15 more minutes but I got up because I was thirsty but now I have to go to the kitchen for another reason. I don't know what it was, but I heard a noise. It was weried, almost like a scream. But that's impossible, no one can scream that quiet. And there's no way anyone else was in our house, it didn't sound like a thief. As far as I know, bugs can't scream either - but I'm not sure, I slept in biology classes - and it's impossible for any of the talking toys we bought to activate on their own. I go into the kitchen and for a moment I don't see anything strange. It's really dark, so I can't tell if anything is out of the ordinary. I turn on the light and look around the room. I really don't see anything wrong, the room looks like any other day, no one else seems to be in it but me, everything is where it should be, even the toys seem untouched. Maybe it's just my imagination? I don't sleep very well because of all the stuff going on with the foster system and I think too much, so maybe I'm finally going crazy? Has my mind started playing tricks on me? Damn, am I really going insane? That would be a new killer for me and Mark, and then I can be sure they'll take away our licenses and we'll never be dads. Sweet Universe, I know it's hard to become parents, but we're wonderful people. Although my madness really wouldn't be good for our future baby. I need to drink water and maybe take some sedatives. I go to the cupboards to get a glass of water and that's when I hear it. A sob. Wait, what? I look around the cupboards. There is something unusual about one of them. There's a little string and.. a tiny child?!

#gt related #g/t #giant/tiny #gt community #giant tiny #gt #g/t angst #g/t concept #g/t related #g/t scenario #g/t writing #giant foster au #giant male #gianttiny #parental g/t

[boliv-jenta]

Together

Din x f!reader.

TW: illness and depression.

Two days, 48 hours. She could make it through. The cool metal of the fresher wall eases her headache a little. Her stomach still lurched. It rolled like stormy water trapped it a cove. Everything that she had eaten had fled her body, leaving only nausea in her stomach. Curling in on herself, she tried to provide herself with some comfort. The kid was occupied with a toy she had made him. She had one as a child. A row of shiny metal balls suspended on a metal frame. A demonstration of the principle of the conservation of momentum. To the child, an exciting development in the world of shiny metal balls. To her, a shiny representation of how her insides felt, the unrest, the perpetual need to move while feeling trapped.

Guilt gnawed at her that he was trapped inside with her until Mando returned. Poor kid, stuck alone with a ill, sad mess of a woman. No, she wasn't a mess, she knew that, she was capable and had been through so much in her life. She been through it, still carried it but never let it defeat her. Never let it hardened her. She wasn't a warrior or a Mandalorian but she was strong in her own way. She would do anything for the kid. She was a good woman, a good guardian, except everything in her head screamed that she wasn't. Here, alone and unwell, the illness that ravaged her body affected her mind. What if Mando didn't return? What if the job of raising this special child fell to her? A woman who couldn't manage her own emotions. Who let the darkness inside make her sad about things that no longer mattered, things that may never happen, things that don't exist.

Two large eyes met hers as she stared into space. A small curious squeak escaped the child as he toddled towards her. The warm weight of him settled in her lap. His tiny fists wrapped into her shirt as her burrowed closer. In mere moments his breathing slowed as fell into a deep sleep. See how comfortable he is, how safe he feels with you? He doesn't see the dark spots. The cracks, patched with his love and the hope of love from Mando.

Was that why she stayed with them? Not her sense of duty to protect the child, for the promise of love? The potential to be fixed? The hope that those cracks could be permanently sealed by someone else. That they could achieve what she couldn't. They could make her feel whole. Normal. Wanted. Worthy.

During the second day, when the child was taking a nap, she took herself to the cockpit. Sat in Mando's seat she told herself it was okay. She would be okay. Once she felt better things would be easier to handle. She'd been here before. She survived. She'd been here before. She'd be here again. And again. She couldn't...tears streamed down her face. Sobs wracked her. Between her gasps for air and her soft mutters of reassurance to herself, she didn't hear Mando climbing the ladder. The instant the door to the cockpit opened she tried to pull herself together. Tried to respool all the spiralling threads of her. His broad figure cast a shadow over her as he stepped closer. His gloved hand, gentle but firm, gripped her chin, tilted her face to him.

"What's wrong?" There was a softeness in his deep voice that she'd never heard before, not even in his soothing whispers to the child.

"Nothing.." A beat before the truth, before the flood gates opened. "..everything. Me. I don't know." Rough leather fingertips brushed away some of the tears.

He was silent for a while. Thoughtful.

"Tell me how I can help."

"I don't know. I just get sad and anxious sometimes. I don't understand why you want me around."

He was crouched next to her now. The T-shaped visor of his helmet level with her eyes.

"That's easy. You're special to the kid." A beat before the truth, before he let himself be open. "You're special to me." Slipping his gloves off, his fingers skimmed over hers.

"I like to think we're special to you too." Her hand grasped his in reassurance. "Yes, you are. Both of you."

A small laugh left him before he did something unexpected. He brought their joined hands up to the edge of his helmet. Dipping them just under the edge, stubbed scratched at the back of her hand before soft lips placed a gentle kiss there.

"Whatever you need, whatever I can do, we'll get through this together."

From that moment on he did fix her but not in the way she thought. His patience, gentle care reminded her that she was worth fixing, so she did what she could. Spent credits on help. On medicine. Took time for herself when needed. He helped her to fix herself. In turn, when the cracks began to show in him, she was there. Eventually, they slotted together, filling the cracks in each other with their own strengths. Together.

#pedro pascal character fanfiction #din djarin x reader #anxiety #depression

[barelynakedthoughts]

We're 9 months pregnant with our second child now. It's been an easier ride compared to my firstborn. Up until the third trimester, I was nearly symptom free with minor inconveniences here and there. Now my blood pressure is dipping low, which I've been told is normal, but it is causing feelings of lightheadedness and dizziness. Sometimes I feel faint. Fortunately, I have not passed out so I'm still considered perfectly fine. We have one month left until the due date and I'm excited. Nervous still, but genuinely looking forward to being a mom of two.

_____

Well, the baby is here and we're struggling to survive...but we're doing it surprisingly. I'm so thankful my husband took a little extra time off for leave. My recovery has been a bit rough this time around due to physically being exhausted and constrained by raising two kids under two years of age. Understand how absolutely in love I am with this new journey, but also recognize how this does not change his demanding this is and how unused to this lifestyle I am at this time. I will eventually settle into having two kids and the kids will also get older and less physically demanding. It will be tough and enjoyable. The two ideas can exist mutually.

While my pregnancy was easy until the last week, anxiety and depression got the best of me and caused another hypertension issue. I went in a few days before my birthday and had the baby a week before the due date. It was a c-section and it felt like I was giving up on my chance of having a vaginal birth in the hospital. I'm not sure if I'm ready to write about the birth right now. It was not tragic. Everything went well physically besides the exhaustion that needed treated with drugs a few hours later, but my decision was another choice that felt like a loss of self. I'm not ashamed of having a c-section either...I am just coping with who I am and who I am becoming because of having children. Again, I will eventually be able to be able settle into this and this does not change how much love I have for this role.

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The last time I left my house was two weeks ago. I have not gone anywhere nor have I been outside. Every day, I pump, take care of two kids, and also attempt to be a good enough wife. I barely have time to take care of myself without it being in respects to what will help the family. Life's basic luxuries are hard to experience let alone enjoy. Showering is minimal, changing out of my pajamas is optional, brushing my hair is a joke. I am eating food while not losing weight.

(Yes, I'm also dealing with body issues and engaging inappropriately with intertwined thoughts about food, infertility and weight. I fear the lack of weight loss, which is associated with my diagnosis of PCOS, means I won't be able to have another child. What a weird thing to still desire when having a child is a pivotal catalyst for my current mental status. Also, I don't fully blame my weight on my inability to have children. I am just afraid of experiencing the pains of infertility again. I did not like that time period. That caterpillar cocooned and came out a magnificent butterfly. Yet the cocooned part is difficult to cope with still as the scars feel like they are reopening. I am afraid of what it takes to endure infertilty in order to learn more lessons from it. I am not sure what else I need to learn from it...if anything. I am not sure if it all is worth it...and yet I maintain my job right now mainly because the healthcare I have from it let's the infertility season have a medical blessing of hope and a lessened financial burden.)

Anyways, I'm just barely surviving lately and there are plenty of opportunities to slightly improve the situation...and this is my own choice to wallow in, but none of the extracurricular activities seem worth it. It feels semi-okay for current self, but it turns intk a dump sesh on future self. Example: getting out of the house would get me outdoor exposure, a new perspective, freedom and probably excitement. Yet it causes the dishes to not get done. My pumping schedule gets a weird crunch at some point later in the day. Will it affect my oldest's bed time? Will my husband and I get into a tiff because of exhaustion and feeling overworked? How much sleep will I lose by doing something different? I don't like being in a constant state of exhaustion and I don't like the repercussions of being tired. The routine is just enough to keep us going...in my mind. Changes to this schedule are okay...if I'm ready to accept them. If I'm willing to change the schedule. I know it won't be like this for long...this is all hard for right now. Minor changes are major in my brain. Everything is a paradox and my life feels so stuck.

My counter rebuttal to myself wonders if any of the problems are a big deal in the grand scheme of things? The change of schedule will matter for a little bit, but then we'll get back on track eventually. Why is there a track anyways? There isn't unless I lay them...so then why do I keep laying such terrible paths? What tracks could I lay down that make things better, brighter?

The days are cyclical. The hours are cyclical. Every moment feels like the same. I have just enough time in between pumps and feedings to play with oldest. I have just enough time to clean the house in some way. We have so many dishes every day. The dishes crowd the kitchen and they crowd my mental real estate. The anxiety...I wish I could accept help more readily. Helps from certain people feels like it would topple my very unstable state of being. Help from others feel like I'm asking for too much from people who would give it and be great at it.

I can't get out of my mind...I can't get out of my house. Probably should breathe outside air...even if it is winter. Probably should let the sun that sometimes shines between the clouds hit my skin...I don't know what I'm going to do. I feel doomed until the youngest gets a little older and until I don't have to pump as much.

[slutfornat]

Doctor // K.W

Warnings: fluff, smut, slight degradation, marking kink, breeding kink.

You follow her down the hall as you are led out of your office by Sister Mary and into the common room. There he sat on one of the sofas, looking around at everyone near him.

You see, you're just out of college and interning as a psychiatrist at Briarcliff Manor. You're first patient is the bloody face himself, after hearing of what he did to those woman.

Though you didn't let that interfere with your work no matter how nervous you may feel. "Mr Walker, please follow us to Dr. y/l/n's office for your first session" Sister Mary staid as he looks.

"Of course, Sister" he says with a boston drawl that would have anyone including you falling in love with him. You try not to blush at the way he looks to you. None of you say anything until you are in your office and Mary asks "do you want him in handcuffs?"

"No, he's my patient and will be treated normally" you answer, with a small smile to her as she walks away and Walker looks to you in surprise that you trust him.

When she leaves, he says "if it helps, i didn't kill anyone, ma'am, I loved Alma". "I know but I'm not here to see whether you are innocent or not. My job is to help you get better" you say, as calmly as possible.

"So, you had many patients before me, Doc?" he asks. "None, I was just trying to act professional because I'm just out of college and extremely nervous right now" you explain, "why don't we introduce ourselves"

"Okay, I'm Kit" he begins, "Kit Walker, pleased to meet you". "I'm y/n y/l/n and will be your psychiatrist during your time here at Briarcliff" you introduce. "Y/n, that a beautiful name" he compliments.

"Thank you but we should probably begin" you say, "have you had any urges? Like murderous, sexual?"

"No, I never hurt anyone and have never wanted to do so either" Kit defends and you can see that he never killed anyone but don't say anything and instead continue with the questions.

------------

It's been a couple of months and here you are pressed against the wall of your office. Kit's lips moving down your neck, marking you as his for any that try to touch you.

He pounds into you whilst you try to muffle your sounds into his shoulder. "Gonna feel you up so fuckin' good. Then everyone will know who you belong to" he practically purrs into your ear.

As you reach your second high, you moan "please, Mr Walka. Want you to fill me so badly". "Such a desperate thing for me aren't ya?" he lightly degrades, slapping your face slightly as you whimper at his words.

You skirt is hiked up your thigh as you simultaneously reach your highs together. The both of you know there will be marks from were he dug his nails

He pulls out as you feel him drip down your thighs. You pull up your underwear as the two of you sort out your clothes. Once done, you check the time to see that you only have ten minutes left of the session.

"so, what will we say we did this session?" Kit asks, sitting across from you. "Probably that we went over some cards and I think you are getting better" you answer. "What did we just do? We can't raise a kid if I'm still here and we're both still young" he said.

"Kit, kit, look I'm going to say I think that you are ready to leave and have the trial because you're innocent then we can live however we want, okay? We can have a child and raise them normally and it will be fine, I promise" you say, trying to convince yourself it's all going to be okay.

"What if that doesn't work?" Kit questions. "Then I don't know, I'm sorry" you apologise, leaning across the table to hold him hand for a couple of seconds. Just as you let go, one of the nuns runs in, "it wasn't him. Kit Walker isn't bloody face" she says before leaving.

"You're free. How is that possible? They've been blaming you for months and now they finally know that you are innocent" you say, excitedly. Getting up from the seat, you walk over to where he is sitting and hug him.

"Lana did it, I'm free. I can leave, we can leave" Kit said, pulling you closer into the hug as he presses a kiss to your forehead. "Is it possible that I can talk to the Monsignor before I leave?" he asks.

"Of course, I can get you a meeting right now" you say as the two of you leave the now empty room and make your way to the monsignor's office.

---------

You two decide to go to his house first and you can feel how nervous he is as he opens the door. The place is a mess just as it was the day Kit was sent to Briarcliff Manor.

The day is spent sorting his things and by the night, the two of you are lying next to each other in bed. When suddenly, he says "move in with me? We are literally having a child together and I know I love you and I don't want to be without you".

"Okay, I'll tell my landlord that I'm moving out tomorrow then I can get my things and live here. With you" you say, smiling. "What happens when we have a kid but aren't married?"

"I don't know and don't feel like finding out so why don't we get married?" Kit asks as you look at him as though he's crazy, "I mean it, I love you and want to be with you, forever, no matter what".

"How about in a couple of weeks we have a small venue? There can be fairy lights and flowers and victoria sponge cake and we can have it in the garden" you say, leaning up to kiss him on the lips.

"It's sorted, future Mrs Walka" he smiles, pulling you close to kiss you passionately.

#lucia one shots #kit walker fluff #kit walker smut #kit walker x reader #ahs smut

[buckyjamess-archive]

𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓲 ❁ 𝓫𝓾𝓬𝓴𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓼

chapter eighteen • a/n: last chapter folks- wanna thank all those who interacted/read it, I hope you enjoyed it! ♡ gonna miss these fools, ngl • wordcount: 2k • warnings: nothing but fluff. Parenthood. Babies. Kids.

summary

going through  rough years after losing your husband, you try to raise your daughter the best you can. With the help from the wilson's you make the best of it but the road is bumpy when sam introduces you to his friend.

masterlist

His hands are warmer and maybe even bigger as his fingers are intertwined with yours, gently swaying back and forth, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand or a light squeeze to remind you he's still there. 

a few steps ahead, rosie groans, huffs and puffs as she pushes the stroller the best she can. Talking to her little brother who gurgles back just as much. 

"You're really heavy!" 

a soft pink, round handbag with minnie mouse printed on the front hangs loosely in Steve's other hand. Handed to him seconds after leaving the restaurant by Rosie herself as she offered to push her little brother back home. A heavy diaper bag he'd taken off the stroller to take away some weight, hangs of his shoulder– you told him you could carry one of the two but Steve being Steve, refused your offer and instead clamped his hand in yours.

A day out planned by the man walking next to you. A day with the four of you, letting Rosie and JJ get used to Steve being around for more than the two hours every night before getting tucked in. That Steve wasn't just a friend anymore– though Rosie 'just knew' when you told her Steve was more than a friend, a special friend. 

'I don't kiss my friends like that' 

Rosie didn't mind, or at least you think. She was good with everyone, stranger or not. Opening up to Steve wasn't a problem, becoming friends with Steve came easy for the girl. 

And bucky, bucky would always be dad.

'Now I have three daddies. My real daddy, my normal daddy and steve.' 

And though you never intended to let Steve in your life so quickly, it became serious pretty fast. 

Delicately glueing back each other's pieces left of a broken heart; giving solace, a shoulder to cry on and someone to hold. Steve and you never intended to become this, you were just friends, used-to-be-coworkers. It happened. Bucky no longer floating through your head every other minute or feeling that ache in your chest– just you and Steve and for now after the heartbreak Bucky caused you could in all honesty say that Steve Rogers treated you better than anyone ever did.

The stroller comes to a halt when Rosie stills in front of the apartment block. She let's go of the stroller and places both hands on her sides, bright yellow sunglasses resting on the bridge of her nose, she sighs heavily. 

"That was heavy." 

You and Steve chuckle at Rosie her stance as if an old man admiring his self-built furniture, sarcasm dripping from her body yet as innocent as can be. 

"I bet it was, kid." 

"Yes, JJ eats too much." 

"Says the girl who ate all my fries." 

Letting go of your hand, Steve hands Rosie back her own bag which she happily takes– slipping the diaper bag from his shoulder, you wrap your hand around it and carefully toss it over your own. Hand digging in to find your keys. Taking the few steps up the building, you push open the door and watch how Steve casually carries the stroller and JJ up the steps and follows Rosie in the building.

The walk to the elevator is short, the three of you and the stroller packed tight in the small space– you stay quiet, watching the interaction between Rosie and Steve, your heart grows ten times its size. You thank the gods above for giving you all these amazing men in your life, even if they broke your heart in different ways- teaching you the ways of life, giving the best things to ever exist, trusting you, caring about you..loving you.

Riley, your first real love. The one that changed your life forever. Teaching the ropes of this crazy thing called adult life. Be the calm to your chaos. Showed you love like you'd never had before– sure enough about it all to put a ring around your finger and giving you the most important job of them all; be a mother to a beautiful, funny and feisty daughter. Riley who gave you real heartbreak, leaving an empty hole in your heart and took a piece of your soul with him

Sam who stood by your side through it all. Going through the process together of losing a spouse and partner on the field. Your shoulder to lean on when things got rough, a friend of your man turned into your best friend– showing you the meaning of family by letting you into his own.

Bucky who stole your heart so fast, you never had a chance to let it settle– a wild man willing to wait. A wild man who showed you that life after Riley could be something beautiful; taught you how to love again, brought you back to life and gave you the gift you call your son, gave Rosie a father figure. Bucky the best mistake you'd ever made in your life.

And maybe all these men were needed to get you with the one. Without Riley no Sam and without Sam no Bucky, and you'd never have met Steve if you didn't move to Brooklyn. All these men lead you to him.

Steve. The man who picked up the pieces and put them back together– the man you so desperately needed in your life. The calm that Riley once gave you and the wild and silly bucky once showed. The one for real this time.

Even if things didn't go your way, men changing every chapter of your book– life was pretty amazing. 

Steve must've seen the slight wobble of your chin and your eyes filling with tears. His firm hand back into yours, you look up to meet his blues, you shoot him a tight lipped smile.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" 

You inhale deeply, quickly wiping away the tears that have made their way down your cheeks and not trusting your own voice, you smile at your daughter but shrug. 

"You know what I think?" Steve quips, the hand that's intertwined with yours now snaking around your waist to pull you ever closer into his side "I think mom's just really happy." 

Rosie nods unsure but gives a toothy grin "then I'm happy too, then we're all happy." 

"Then we're all happy." 

He reads you like an open book, something you got to love and hate over the last few weeks. Nitpicking little flaws to get under your skin or be the biggest sap whenever you're feeling down; he knows you like the back of his hand. 

"This is so stupid," you breath out a shaky chuckle "Jesus, I'm crying in an elevator–" 

"It's not stupid," Steve reassures "we're all just very happy, right?" 

"Yeah." You nod. 

Squeezing your side, Steve let's you know he's there and plants a kiss to your temple before resting his chin upon your head.

"I love you, sweetheart." 

Bucky can't quite believe it himself; just a month ago he labeled Steve Rogers as his arch enemy and wish bad things upon the blonde and now, now bucky hopes and wishes the blonde would treat you better than anyone else– welcomed Steve into the mess. 

At ease, okay, alright but above all grateful. You didn't kick him out of your life or that of his kids– you wouldn't be the first mother to do such a thing, he's seen it on TV multiple times. Bucky's grateful that you and him still were a thing just not the same. Parents of your kids, friends.

Though jealousy would strike once in a while and he reminded himself of the mistake he'd made, It was good this way.

Big helium balloons in the shape of letters and numbers float above the table shoved against the wall, reading 'JJ 1 YEAR'. Silver birthday garlands hanging from ceilings along the baby blue and white balloons– table filled with snacks, gifts and drinks. Cramped in your apartment but done together– texting back and forth, nights of planning brought you all here, JJ his first birthday.

Friends and family here to celebrate something the two of you made from love.

Bucky leans against the kitchen bar, one hand tucked deep into the pocket of his jeans and the other wrapped around a bottle of beer. Eyes upon the small crowd gathered and lands on Steve, barely on his knees next to a side table, small plastic tiara on his head as Rosie applies makeup on the guy's face from the set she'd just got as a gift from uncle Sam.

Bucky smiles, at least you picked a child magnet, a guy who'll love his kids as much as the two of you do. 

Bucky scans the crowd again and spots you without any problem, another smile on his face at the sight of his godchild hailey holding JJ, probably gossiping around with you.

It's good this way.

"Hey man." 

Snapping out of his own world, Bucky meets the eyes of a man he hasn't spoken to in months; sam. Not since he got to learn about Bucky's mistake.

"Hey." Bucky shoots him a tight lipped smile.

Standing still next to Bucky, Sam leans against the bar in the same stance and follows Bucky's gaze to the crowd to you, his son and hailey.

"He looks like you." Sam confesses "scary." 

Letting his head fall, Bucky chuckles and nods "at least we know it's mine." 

Sam chuckles along till it dies down, silence falling over both men as they keep watching the scene in front of them. How you leave Hailey with her nephew and mingle with some friends– bucky can feel Sam's eyes burning on his face. 

"Told you so, didn't I?" 

Bucky snorts "Let's not go there, I've learned my lesson." 

"Do you?" Sam quips with a grin on his face "No new love on the horizon?" 

Bucky nods, he has learned his lesson and he knows he'll never find someone like you again– he has definitely learned his lesson and definitely not ready for something new.

"No man, I'm going to focus on my kids." Bucky breathes out a soft chuckle "apparently I still have two." 

"Rosie loves you– I have to thank you for that, giving Rosie a father figure." 

"Wouldn't trade it for anything else." 

"I know." 

Another, comfortable silence falls like a thick blanket. Knowing each other well enough to know what they're thinking– a smile creeping on both men's faces at the sight of you pushing yourself past some people and beelining towards the duo.

"Mind If I join?" 

Scooting aside, both Sam and bucky make space for you in between and your arm that snakes around Bucky's back gives him a warm and fuzzy feeling– he pulls you closer into his side with his arm dropped over your shoulder 

"A year ago you nearly passed out." You mumble softly 

"I didn't pass out." Bucky scoffs 

"I said nearly–" 

"Not even nearly." 

"The nurses had to sit you down." 

"They never–" 

"They did!" 

It's a game of back and forth, getting underneath each other's skin and Bucky hopes things like this will never change even if you decided to spend the rest of your life with steve. The silly arguments, the silly fights and the lame jokes– bucky would be alright as long as that stayed. 

The squeeze around his side makes Bucky aware you're still there. Locking eyes with yours, one's he's found himself lost in many times before, he copies your smile. 

"What?" 

"Nothing– we did good." You state.

Though things didn't go the way it was supposed to, the two of you did good indeed, more than good even. 

"I think we did amazing." Bucky smiles back.

Wrapping his arm around your shoulder a bit tighter, he places a quick kiss on your forehead before following your gaze into the crowd, his daughter, his son, his family and steve.

It's good this way.

"So, guys," Sam clears his throat from beside you "really gotta know what happened on hailey her birthday party that day." 

"No, you don't." You and Bucky chuckle in unison "you really don't."

Taglist: @farfromshawn @Nicollettemarie @wooya1224 @felicityofbakerstreet @agentmstark @sierrax023 @lilyevanswhore @qhbr2013 @buckybarnesobsessed @themaddies-obx @aloserwithoutacause @aanngie @sebby-staan @sweetth1ng @starrystarkey93 @libidinexx @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @gasly-kvyat @brown-bi-beautiful @peter-laufeyson @im-squished @meshlababy @lindseyrae20 @cb97skies @qwccrr @ssprayberrythings @yougottalovefandoms @jbcalway @realgaytrash @natyvwe @poetryazenth @winterberryfox @ahahafudge @okiegirl24 @0moondoodler0 @why-wait-4-eventually @abzidabzy

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #rosie and i*

[hot-wiings]

The One Where [Y/N] [L/N] Can't Show Up To Her Toxic Family Dinner Alone, So She Turns To Her College Peer For Help.

Edited: 12-4-2020

Once your college professor dismissed the class as over you were quick to open your phone and check your messages. Once unmuted, it vibrated and chimed a dozen times bombarding you. Messages from your mother overflowed your notification bar. You just didn't have the energy to deal with it right now. With a scowl, you set your phone back to mute mode and harshly shoved it into your backpack.

"Everything all right?"

Your chemistry partner was pilling books back into his backpack when he asked you the imposing question. He zipped the bag close, stood up, and turned to you, giving you a concerned look as he slung his backpack on his shoulder.

"I'm fine."

"We've been partners for nearly a year, I think I know you enough to know when you're not fine."

Your eyes glanced up at the white-haired man before glancing back at your lap. Your chemistry partner, Natsuo Todoroki, was a nice young man. Natsuo was funny and kind, he noticed when you were having a bad day, and he'd try to ease your troubles. Maybe that was why you often found yourself studying your partner more than your notes. Normally you'd relish under the gaze and attention of your charming, pretty partner, but today wasn't just one of those days.

"It's stupid. Like, really stupid, and unimportant."

"If it's bothering you then it's not stupid. C'mon, I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me all about your problem."

You huffed as you stood up and pulled your bag over your shoulder. You followed Natsuo to the cafeteria, while he walked off to get and pay for your lunches, you found some empty seats. Your leg bounced as you waited for him to come back. The idea of opening up about something so personal made you anxious.

"It's Soba Saturday."

"Thanks."

Natsuo took a seat across from you and smiled as you took a bite out of the food. Happy that you were happy with your food, Natsou digs into his own.

"So partner' what's up?"

"As I said, it's really, really, stupid."

"You're obviously worked up over it, it can't be that stupid."

You let out a ragged sigh as you took a delicate bite out of your food. Embarrassed, your eyes avoided him once you swallowed and set the fork down. Natsuo had shared so much with you as a friend and confidant, you knew about his family, every nitty-gritty detail, but you opened so little in return.

"My mom texted me asking if I was bringing a date home for Christmas. My parents... They're pretentious and rich, you know? Marrying, and settling down, becoming a house mouse while my husband takes over the family business. That's the future they want for me."

You clenched your fists just getting aggravated thinking about it. The toxicity was hard and you were trying your best to escape it, but you could only flee so much when you were poor without your parents. Natsuo reached across the table and grabbed your hands, pulling them into his cold ones.

"I know if I show up alone my mom's gonna get in my business, then she'll try setting me up with rich men she thinks are suitable. I just- I can't do another family Christmas alone."

"I understand what you mean. I told you how my dad's a bastard, he's tried setting me and my sister up with suitable people before, never works out, just makes us hate him. I don't even wanna go home for Christmas this year, so... I have a proposition."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'll go with you."

His voice came out quick and fast, almost making him sound nervous, but Natsuo didn't get nervous, it wasn't a Todoroki trait. You look up from your lap to his eyes. A small smile formed on your face as he proposed the statement. You let out a chuckle as a light blush brushed your face.

"You wanna be my date?"

"We don't have to go like that, we can fake date. Think about it, you need a rich, suitable guy to show up with you. You need me. Someone to convince your pretentious parents you're ready to settle down, and, I, can get out of my own family Christmas and obligations to see the bastard man."

"Fake dating... Fake dating and convincing my parents that we're in love. That's a lot to deal with, you're sure your up for it?"

"Yeah, you might say... We already have some chemistry together."

You laughed as that feeling bubbled up in your chest. That feeling you got whenever you were around your partner, your lab partner. It was stupid, so stupid. The idea of fake dating him bubbled you, even if it was fake, the idea that he got to be your boyfriend for an evening or two excited you.

"Okay, you dork, it's settled. You're my fake boyfriend."

Your leg bounced rigorously as the car drove on the road. You watched the road signs, anxiously noting how far away from your home you were each time a new one appeared. You lived a couple of hours out from the city you and Natsuo attended college in. Coming from a rich family, you and Natsuo probably would've attended the same social circles and school had you not grew up so far away.

Your thumb tapped away at your leg as Christmas music blared through the radio. Your whole body screamed anxious and distressed. Now that you've had time to brew and process the deal you and Natsuo made you regretted it. What were you thinking, taking your lab partner, who was also your crush, on an overnight trip as your fake boyfriend? It was just going to cause you trouble.

You had feelings for him and your family was toxic. The idea of letting him in was disturbing. It was your home where you grew up, the place you learned to hate yourself, the place that taught you to be closed off, and mean. He'll meet your mom, your dad, and your godawful siblings. He'll see how horrible your family is, and the idea of letting him see the environment you grew up in was so daunting.

What if he decided you were awful too? What if he changes lab partners?

"We're here."

"Great."

Your voice came out placid and tight. Your nervousness and exhaustion could be heard in your voice. Emotions brought out every time you saw your family, he mistook it as nerves brought on by the fear of fake dating.

"We should probably lie down some rules."

"Yeah, I've never fake dated before. I don’t know what you're uncomfortable with, but no kissing on the lips."

Natsuo pulled his keys out of the engine ignition and pocketed them while he lightly laughed at your proposed rule. Heat rose to your cheeks as his voice met your ears.  

"We're supposed to convince them we're in love, but I can't kiss your lips?"

"I know it's silly, but to me it's romantic and I’d like to keep this professional. Besides, you still have my cheek, hand, nose, and forehead."

“I see your points, if it makes you feel more comfortable then lips are off-limits.”

You let out a relieved sigh. You weren't sure you'd handle kissing Natsuo. It was too personal, too romantic. The more you progressed on this endeavor the more you worried. Your parents were gonna know, they were gonna know. 

"No kissing your lips, what about hand-holding?"

"We can hold hands, hug, anything a couple would do, just no sex or kissing."

"Two days, as a handholding loving boyfriend. Let's do this."

Natsuo got out of the car and while you zipped up your coat and fixed your scarf he rushed to the other side of the car and opened your door before you got the chance. His cold hand was on your hand pulling you out of the car, he smiled softly at you as he helped you out.

“Thanks, you didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to, I'm your boyfriend after all.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear as a light blush spread across your skin. Never had you been more thankful for the cold air for you had been able to play your pink cheeks off as an effect of the cold weather and not his words. 

“You go in, I’ll get our bag.”

“You sure?”

You nibbled on your lip as Natsuo walked away from you. He turned to you with an ever-growing smile present as he winked. 

“Yeah, I'm a good boyfriend aren't I?”

“The sweetest ever. See you inside.”

You made your way to the door and gave the heavy wooden door a hard knock. It wasn't long until one of the servants opened the door. The head butler, Godwin, opened the door and threw you a gracious smile before pulling you into a hug. 

“Welcome back, [Y/N].”

In your time living here as a child, Godwin spent a lot of time with you. It was his job to watch over you and your siblings along with the other staff members when your parents were gone, which was often. He was the one who taught you to be kinder and nicer, more humble than your other siblings. He was the one who encouraged you to go to college despite your parents raising you to live in a world with their racist, sexist ideals. 

“It’s good to see you, Godwin.” 

Your mother came down the stairs with her overly expensive Christmas dress flowing with her. She looked like the average rich person trying to show off her money. Pearls, diamonds, and obvious plastic surgery. Your father followed behind her, adorning an expensive tailored suit and a matching tie, no doubt your mother's idea to make it seem like they had a perfect marriage to their guests when it, in fact, was not. 

“Oh, [F/N], you're here!”

She walked up to you and awkwardly wrapped her arms around your body. It was weird and awkward. Your mother didn't like giving affection out to her children, or really anyone. Now that you were older, you didn't crave the attention from her. Your father didn't even attempt to greet you. 

“I thought you said you were bringing a guest, Oh I knew you were lying. Lucky for you I thought ahead and arranged for one of your father's friends to come over as your date for the evening.”

“Mother, anyone friends with father is going to be way too old to be a date for me, besides that fact, I did bring a date.” 

“Oh, don’t be embarrassed to ask your mother for help, I did give birth to you after all.”

She sneered her words at you. This was a classical move of your mothers because she gave birth to you then that must mean she knows you better than anyone else, she also used it in the stance that you owed it to her to do what she wanted.

“You’ll love him. He's the owner of a multimillion-dollar company, he's rich, and his wife just died! You’ve been single for so long, you need a man to take care of you”-

Your mother is cut off by the sound of Natsuo walking in with your bag and slamming the door shut, trying to keep the cold out. Considering it was an overnight trip, you thought sharing a bag might make you look more intimate and close. 

“Sorry I took so long babe, I didn't zip the bag all the way closed and it opened on the ride here, I had to put everything back in it.”

“Mother, father, this is my boyfriend.” 

Natsuo dropped your bag on the floor and shook your parent's hands starting with your father, and then your mother next, respectfully the way you shook hands with the rich. You supposed growing up as a Todoroki he had to learn these tricks and rules the same way you did. 

“Natsuo Todoroki, nice to meet you, sir, ma’am.”

“Oh wow, Todoroki? Like the hero family Todoroki?”

“Yes, ma’am... Endeavor is my father.”

You could tell by Natsuo's stance that he was uncomfortable with the way your mother was asking about his social status and checking him out with a tight fake smile on her face.

“Yes, I remember now, I saw your family on the news. How did you snag this one [Y/N]? A Todoroki, I'm impressed, then again... He is the brother who chose not to follow the life of a hero.”

You both ignored your mother's catty comment as Natsuo grabbed your hand and pulled you against his side. He kissed your cheek, eliciting a light blush for the second time that day, however, your mother's focus was on your 'boyfriend', and his focus was on your mother. 

“Feels more like I'm the one who snagged her.”

“Well, you must tell us how you met. Goodwin! Take their bag up to [Y/N]'s room!” 

You rolled your eyes as she yells at the butler. You'd think after years of working for her she would've remembered his name, but she didn't.

“Godwin, we can take our bag up, we need to change into our dress clothes anyway. Mother, you really should remember the names of your staff.”

“They're just the help, details like their names don't matter. Ever since you went off to that school it's put silly ideas in your head. Natsuo don't be afraid to remind her who's boss, she might try to force those ridiculous relationship norms on you.”

The comment comes from your father who had been mostly silent throughout the whole conversation. The comment comes from your father and it didn't sit well with Natsuo. As your father laughs at what he said, Natsuo picks your bag up and chuckles at him. 

“Oh, [Y/N] and I both know who the boss of this relationship is. [Y/N] attends more classes than me, so I always make sure the apartment is clean, and food is ready on the table for her. It's only fair, I wouldn't want her to think these ridiculous relationship norms where the woman cooks and cleans and the man provides is right.”

Before your father gets another word in edgewise, Natsuo pulls you along with him to the staircase, letting you guide him to your bedroom with appeased smiles on your faces. You pushed the door open and let Natsuo in before closing it and locking it. You flopped over on the bed, and he followed suit before taking a look at your room. It was the same as always, the way you left it after high school, never changing except for when little things got moved around for dusting and vacuuming by Godwin. 

“So... What'd you think of my parents?”

“They’re... interesting?”

There were a wide variety of choice words Natsuo wanted to use. He did not like your parents, and it bothered him knowing that you grew up being raised with such ideals. Natsuo might have had a bastard for a father, his father might have hurt his mom, and his family in more ways than one, but his father never once told Fuyumi that she couldn't pursue her dreams. He never once told Fuyumi that she had to follow old gender norms, never once was Fuyumi taught to layover for a man.

"It's okay, you can say it. They're good awful."

"I didn't want to upset you or offend, but my father literally drove my mom insane, he gave her a mental illness and he's nice compared to them."

"Just wait until you meet my siblings."

You let out a laugh as your fingers played with the blanket on the bed. Your hands were so close. It was sweet to him, the sound of your voice. He'd never admit out loud, but he was so in love with you. Ever since he first laid eyes on you in chemistry class. Ever since you sat down next to him and introduced yourself, ever since you accidentally blew up your first experiment. Ever since you kept apologising for catching him on fire, you hadn't a clue who he was, or who his father was. You were normal with him. Every little thing you did lead up to his feelings for you. Every little thing you did added to the strong feelings had had, like a brick house.

To the naked eye, Natsuo was a desirable man. He was rich, filthy rich, and he had that Todoroki charm. Everyone wanted him for his status or his looks. They didn't know him, the real him, him with an abusive father and fucked up family. For all those reasons, Natsuo always thought that you wouldn't want to be with a boy like him. Someone who came from such a broken background, someone so weak, unable to stand up to his father. Guys like him never got the girl, at least not the girl that he wanted but Natsuo also never imagined that you came from a background similar to his. It was so ethereal and special to be here with you, to be the one you were opening up to, even if it was a fake relationship, Natsuo was trying desperately to shoot his shot.

"You're so strong, you know that? Your parents raised you with these unrealistic standards on how you should act, but you're in college, you're pursuing your dreams. You're amazing."

Natsuo's hand reached out and grabbed yours, his cold one in yours soliciting goosebumps and a little shiver. You quickly tried to pull your and out of his and stood up to make it look like you weren't trying to avoid skin contact with him.

"Thanks, Natsuo... You're amazing too, I mean hello, they way you subtly told my father to shove his marriage ideals? It was hilarious, he was not expecting that."

You looked away from Natsou to hide the blush in your cheeks, you were thankful for the way he stood up to your father for you. You could never have done that in a million years.

"Anyway, we should probably get dressed, and go down before my mother thinks we've started having sex. You can get dressed in here and I'll go to the bathroom, just knock when it's safe for me to come out."

You grabbed your dress out of the bag and scurried into the bathroom. You started with makeup, then you reapplied your deodorant. You were so nervous that your family would see right through your lie. After taking a few deep breaths you heard Natsuo's knock so you quickly unzipped your silk, baby blue dress and pulled it up to your body. Nervously, you popped your head out the door and bit your lip.

"Can you... Can you zip me up?"

"Sure!"

You let the door open more and pulled the front of your dress tight against your body, worried and nervous to be partially naked in front of him. Natsuo sauntered into the bathroom and zipped the back of your dress up. His cold hands glide up your back and then fell down on your hips. It made you shiver again before throwing him a grateful smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem, you look beautiful."

You looked in the mirror at the two of you together. This time as the blush rose to your cheeks you didn't have the cold to blame or the ability to turn around and hide your face.

"Ready to meet the rest of the snake nest?"

"I survived your parents, I think I can handle your siblings."

Arm in arm looped together you made your way downstairs and into the entertainment room with Natsuo. Your siblings were sitting on the couch, but once you walked in their eyes struck you. They heard you brought a date and they wanted to check him out. Their eyes glazed over him some of them in interest, some in disinterest. All judging.

"I heard you brought a boy, didn't believe it."

The comment comes from your older sister. Her voice was full of disdain and disinterest, undoubtedly ready to leave.

"Yeah, mother said you brought a boy, didn't think he'd be so hot."

Natsou coughs uncomfortably as you showed a tight, fake smile to your sister. You couldn't lie, it hurt that your younger sister would so blatantly flirt with your boyfriend upon meeting him, whether he be fake or not.

"Don't be such a slut, [Sisters Name]. That's your sister's boyfriend."

Your older brother scolded his youngest sister for her lustful behavior and she rolls her eyes before she crosses her arms in a pout. Your brother was the nicest out of all your siblings. He was nice to you and your siblings in his own way, protective of his younger siblings, constantly scolding and trying to keep you all in place. That didn't mean he couldn't be a snake, he could just tolerate you and your siblings more.

"Besides, he's not all that hot."

"Oh he totally is, it's seriously a wonder how [Y/N] got him."

You brought Natsuo over to the couch and sat down next to him. You even made sure to sit close to him, close enough so you could lean into each other like a cute couple.

"I think I prefer your parents."

His words whispered in your ear earning a light chuckle from you. Your sister, the younger one, evidently didn't like how close you both were. With a harsh glare, she rolled her eyes again.

"How did you even meet? Seriously, I wanna know why he would downgrade to someone like you."

Natsuo scratched the back of his head awkwardly and nervously He didn't understand why your siblings were so mean to you. His father was a bastard, that closed you off, that he could get. Despite that, he and his siblings never put each other down like they were doing.

"More like she downgraded to me. We met in school, lab partners. She had all the boys chasing for her in school, but somehow she chose me."

Your sister scoffed and this time you rolled your eyes. She always gave you such shit over the littlest things. You didn't have the energy for this, at least not sober. You whispered into Natsuo's ear softly.

"I need a drink, you want one? We'll need it to get through the evening."

"If your alcohol mixing skills are anything like your chemistry mixing skills, then no."

"Meanie, I'm a great chemist, I practically carry our grade."

Natsuo chuckled against your cheek, before pulling back and kissing it. Again, a blush adorned your cheek with no way to hide it. It was brief and quick, but his cold lips ghosted against your cheek. All you could do was abruptly stand up with a smile on your face.

"I'm gonna go find an alcoholic beverage. I'll be right back, play nice with him."

Natsuo watched helplessly as you walked off into the distance. He sat there quietly, patiently waiting for you to come back. Natsuo was such a cool, calm collected guy, but alone with your siblings, he felt nervous. Seeing the way they acted with you gave him a bad impression of them, but he has to play nice because he was your boyfriend.

"You know, an alcoholic drink does sound great."

Your older sister stood up from the couch and walked off in the same direction as you did, the kitchen presumably, to make herself a drink as well. Soon, your brother left the room as well, your little sister bit her lip as she watched your brother walk off in the direction of the bathroom. She was quick to stand and in the place you once held occupied.

"My sister said play nice, but I'd rather play rough."

She slid her hand over his thigh and inched it closer to his crotch while she smiled up at him, nibbling on her lip.

"What are you doing? I'm here with your sister, I'm her boyfriend."

"Ugh, what do you even see in her? She's not even pretty."

Before Natsou could reply, before he could defend you, your sister climbed across his lip and planted her lips against his. He wasn't kissing her back, but with her on top of him, her pressing her face against his, and her fingers deeply gripping his clothes it was difficult to get her off of him. He wasn't kissing back, he was trying to push her off but as you walked up with two margaritas in hand all you saw was your fake boyfriend kissing your sister.

It hurt. It shouldn't have, but it hurt. He wasn't yours, not really. He was just your lap partner, your friend. He wasn't your boyfriend, you were just fake dating. He wasn't yours. He wasn't yours, but it hurt to see your sister all over him. He wasn't yours, but for the night he was supposed to be. He wasn't yours but for the sake of your lie you did what any girl would do after finding her boyfriend cheating on her: You dumped your margarita down the skank.

"[Brothers Name] is right, you are a slut! And you- you-"

As your sister pulled herself off of Natsuo she looked up at you shocked with alcohol dripping down her body, you ignored her and turned your attention to Natsou. Your eyes were blurry but you had to will yourself not to cry.

"I don't need you here. You can just leave."

You didn't wait for Natsou to get up and leaves nor did you want for him to talk and explain anything to you. You simply took off in the direction of your bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Natsuo quickly jumped up on his feet and took off in the direction of your bedroom. He didn't knock, he didn't wait for permission, he just busted in and ran over to you.

"If you want to make out with my sister, that's fine. I get it, she's pretty, she's hot, she's better than me. She's everything you'd want, but you were supposed to be here with me! You were supposed to be here as my boyfriend! My parents were supposed to think we're in love. You were supposed to be mine, I don't care if it's fake, you cheated with my sister!"

The tears were leaking down your cheeks as you yelled at him. No words could pass Natsuo's lips, no matter how hard he tried. They couldn't. Seeing your tears, a product of him hurt. It hurt. He hurt you. He was trying his best to shoot his shot, he was trying to subtly woo you.

"Your sister came on to me, I tried pushing her away. She's really is a snake, you said it yourself!"

You still sniffled as you nodded at him. He was right, you had said that. He was right, she is a snake and this is exactly what she would do just to screw with your life.

"I'm sorry, your right. I shouldn't have acted like that, you're not actually mine. Natsuo, I do need you, I need you here."

"What if I wanted you to really be mine?"

You sniffling stopped as Natsuo took closer steps to you. He placed his hands on your cheeks and pulled your lips against his. This was different from earlier. The kiss wasn't quick, it was long. It was long and passionate, yet cold. Despite your shivers, you found yourself leaning into him, into the kiss.

"You- You can't do that, it's against the rules."

"Screw the rules. I just- I wish you needed me every night of the year, not just Christmas."

Natsuo ran his hands through his hair nervously. He thought speaking against your father and defending you against your sister was enough to get his point across. This idea of verbally speaking it, it scared him. This was uncharted territory for him.

"I want you [Y/N]. I want you every day of the year. I want to kiss you on the lips, I want to hold hands, I want dates and hugs. I want more than chemistry class and Christmas gatherings."

"Then you can have me! Have me every day of the year. Be mine, every day of the year. Take me on a date, hold my hand, kiss my lips!"

Natsuo pulled you against him and your face collided with his chest. You buried your face in his chest as your arms wrapped around his body and a smile formed.

"Let's not fake date, be my actual girlfriend."

You leaned up and left a quick chaste kiss on Natsuo's lips with a smile.

"I don't want anyone else to be my actual boyfriend, I suppose you might say we chemistry."

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #x reader #anime x reader #boku no hero academia x reader #boku no hero #x reader insert #natsuo x reader #bnha natsuo x reader #mha natsuo x reader #mha todoroki x reader #bnha todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #natsuo todoroki x reader #mha natsuo todoroki x reader #bnha natsuo todoroki x reader #todoroki natsuo x reader #bnha todoroki natsuo x reader #mha todoroki natsuo x reader #natsou x reader #bnha natsou x reader #mha natsou x reader #natsou todoroki x reader #bnha natsou todoroki x reader #mha natsou todoroki x reader #natsou todoroki

[stargaze-issei]

— "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" (𝐛. 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; when your father, the head of the japanese mafia, was killed, your childhood friend swore to protect you till his death. now, you're the empress of the underground world, and he doesn't know what's harder, to keep you safe or manage to hide his feelings. what will he do when, for the first time, your life's at risk and he isn't anywhere near?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; mafia!au, angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; swearing, mentions of blood, guns, murder, kidnap, yk... mafia stuff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; lemme know if u want a part two bc i felt like it was getting too long and i don't know if anyone will read it or like it 👉🏻👈🏻

"where the fuck are you?" bakugou's voice stroke over the phone, noticeably angry. he had told you several times to never go anywhere without him, which you mostly did, if it weren't for him being away a lot of times. nothing less was expected from your right hand, who handled every dirty job, and considering your line of work, it wasn't scarce. but you did had other bodyguards, just as trained as katsuki, willing to give their lifes for you, which was extremely better than having bakugou giving his life.

to his eyes, you were still the little girl from before. he saw you as a someone who needed protection. at first, you agreed. your father was murdered, someone managed to get through all his security and killed him, none of the guns he and his security team carried around could protect him, killing you would be like stealing a sweet from a baby. bakugou had always kept you safe, despite his agressive usual safe, he cared about you more than he cared for himself. so you stuck to his side, believing, hoping, he'd die for you. but that was a long time ago, now, you could defend yourself, and had raised a sense of loyalty in your people by your own. your father's empire was based in fear, yours? by admiration. you didn't see your people as working ants, but as important parts of a whole. still, anyone who was a threat to you, bakugou made sure to erase them forever.

"don't talk to me like that, i'm your boss" you could feel him losing his shit, a smile began to form in your face. even when everyone respected you, he was still the same.

"you can't boss anyone if you're fucking dead, you dumb shit" a laugh came out of your throat, he couldn't avoid smiling at the sound "wait, oh, okay, i know we're you are. stay there, i'll be in three" he hung up before you could reply.

you looked back, at one of your guards who was just putting away his phone. of course they told him. why couldn't you go get your own coffee? being in the office all day was tiring, to be five minutes outside was all you asked for. a few seconds after, they handed you your coffee, obviously, a guard had to try it first, in case that barista wanted to suddenly murder you. of course he didn't.

"who let her go outside without me knowing, huh?" a furious katsuki appeared through the door, making a scene in the place. you gave him a warning look. if there was something you hated, was that. everyone in the area knew who you were, but why make it any more obvious. those people were just living their usual lifes, and people tend to get nervous around you. "the car is waiting outside" he understood, but you knew he was going to scold you anyways.

you walked outside, smiling, and got into the car, followed by katsuki and one of his subordinates, the other one got in the front sit, next to the driver.

"save it, i'm n–"

"the fuck you are" he cut you "your safety is my responsibility, if i say you can't go out without me, then you fucking don't. specially not when there are people after your head" there was no denying he was right, but still, it upset you.

"there's always people after my head, bakugou".

two weeks ago, two men went into your office. they were in charge of some dealing territories, though small, important. most contraband had to pass those places, you controlled those police departments making everything easier to your truck drivers. they were beaten, cover in blood and barely standing.

"our men, all of them... they all..." only one of them could talk, the other being too shocked to even look at you. "kazuhito's men, it was them... they said we had to tell you, they're coming after you" you couldn't show any fear in front of your so called soldiers, and your template remained at ease. a shout was enough to get those men the help they needed, after holding their hands, you promised to go see them once they were checked by doctors. you called bakugou as soon as they left, he was the first who should know and help you decide what to do next.

the kazuhito family had always been rivals, enemies of the worst kind. everyone suspect they were behind your father's assassination, but with no proof, even you knew it would be the biggest mistake to charge against them, despite your personal desires.

"i already told the drivers they had to take rout b for a while, but we can't let them just keep what's our" you explained to katsuki once he arrived. "those drugs have to get in town by us, damnit". it was clear how frustrated you were, those assholes had mess with your and your father's hardwork.

"if we retaliate, a war will unchain. your father tried to avoid that for years"

"and see how he ended up" bakugou didn't know if it was the anger, or you talking. "we will lose everyone's respect if we don't do something, they killed dozens of our people, katsuki".

he was trying hard to stay objective in that situation, but it was near impossible. a war would put you in more danger than ever, your life was at stake, and bakugou wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. growing up by your side, your father taking him in when his parents died, you were his only family. more than that, he loved you. the only reason he was able to do his job right, was the fear of losing you. your head was already valued in millions, how could he protect you in the middle of a conflict, that would end only with your death or the kazuhito's leader's death? your power was bigger than theirs by little, but they did something that reckless, which meant they thought they had out powered you. had they? or were they just bluffing? had they miscalculated?.

"we're taking action, wether you support me or not" you looked into each other's eyes, you knew him enough to understand his fear, just not the reason behind it. your voice softened "but i'd much rather do it with you by my side".

"you're the boss" he spoke, already regretting it "i'll schedule a meeting so the high charges let everyone else know, i'm staying at your place so we can trace a plan".

and there you were now, being reprimanded by bakugou. he was extremely tired, he decided to stay with you until things were calmer, which could be several months from then. getting up at six a.m, going to sleep past midnight, being always looking for possible threats, it had given him bags under his eyes.

"i'm sorry" you said once you were alone with him, it was only then that you could let your guard down "i'm making this harder for you".

"yeah, you are. but it's my job, after all" that came out wrong, he thought. it wasn't his job, it was his fucking life purpose. he wanted you to live a long, happy life, as hard as it seemed.

"i guess it is" deep down, his response disappointed you.

"hey, look at me" out of nowhere, his body was insanely close to yours, you felt his breath in your face as he lifted your chin with his finger "there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, got that, dumbass?"

for a brief moment, the taste of his lips was all you could think about. i bet they're soft. but as fast as it started, it was over, katsuki pulled away harshly, inventing an excuse to leave. he had flown too close to the sun, so close that it burned his skin.

a few more people went to see you that day, asking for diverse permissions, advice and stuff like that. since it had been slow, compared to other times, you decided to home early. a call to your team, and the car was already outside. bakugou left instructions for your departure, because he had things to do somewhere else, much to his displeasure. you were accompanied by your escorts to the doors of the building, that seemed like a normal office compound. there were waiting two other guards, making a total of six people protecting you. way to go, bakugou.

"how's your wife, ryota?" you asked the driver. of course, not everyone fitted in the same car, so you got into the second one, middle seat, between a built up woman and a big man. you tried to remember everyone's name, but it was difficult.

"she's good, ma'am, sends her regards" he smiled at you over the mirror.

"and the baby? he must be a month old, right?" at the memory of his child, his face lightened "you should take some days off, i bet your wife and son miss you"

"i have a duty with you, m–" a loud impact interrupted him, the front glass had exploded. the car had an abrupt movement back and forward, all you could see was blood, everywhere.

the woman next to you took her gun out, in order to protect you , you thought, completely wrong. before everyone could react to her act, she shot the guard in front of you.  you looked at your side, searching for someone alive, the same bullet that had killed ryota was in the guard's at your right forehead. besides you , the only other person was that woman. if she hadn't glasses on, that stare could've seen throughout your soul. then you remembered, katsuki made you bare with a knife under your sleeve. with a weird move, you felt its sharpness against your skin, it was there, but she read you like a book. before you could even pull it out, another shot stroke followed by a intense pain in you thight. the bitch had shot you. you blamed it on the adrenaline, because nothing hurt. what happened after was a couple of blurry images in your memory.

bakugou had called you more than a hundred times, you, the drivers, the guards, everyone in his fucking team, but no one knew anything. the cameras at your house never showed you arriving, your phone's location was off. he was out of his head, if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, someone's going to die. he rushed into his car, following your rout at a dangerous speed. 

both cars were full of bullet holes, and every guard he had hired was dead. there wasn't a place without blood. tears of pure rage came to his eyes, fuck, it was his fault. he started to look for you, but the whole world was spinning around him. where were you? where was your body? were you alive?, this couldn't be happening. he had left you unprotected, alone, and now you could be dead, because of his uselessness. his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"sir, we– we have– the kazuhito's are here" he left as fast as he came. they had touch you, they had taken you away from him, and he wasn't going to let them get away with it, even if he had to go against a whole army, whoever was behind it all was going to pay.

a man in a suit was sitting in the chair of your office, smoking a cigarette, as calm as a rock. katsuki was so close to rip his head of right there, that somebody had to hold him down. his own people updated him, saying that he had gone into the building alone, with no weapons of any kind, not even a cellphone.

"where the fuck is she?" he crashed his hand against the desk.

"ah, mr. bakugou, please take a se–"

"tell me where she is right now if you want to keep your head, fucking bastard" his hand had wondered to the tip of the gun in his belt, menacing to blow up at any second.

"you won't do that, mr., if i don't return to my people in one hour, she'll be so fucked up that not even you will recognize her" a laugh surge grom bakugou, a dark, cold laugh.

"i don't have to kill you, then" one of the man's hand rested in the desk, like asking for katsuki to rip it off his body. as you did, he also carried knifes under his shirt. in less than a second, one of them was buried into the man's hand. he screamed, both in shock and pain, giving your bodyguard a hatred look. "what do you want, shitface?"

"i-it's quite simple, actually" his face was white as paper, and even though he wanted to talk normally, his voice shivered "we want you to take over the y/l/n's business, under our command of course" he let out a sigh, trying to keep his composure and ignoring his bleeding hand "if you– if you agree, she will have to leave japan and never..."

bakugou won't agree to that. not now and not ever. to give away what you and your father built from scratch, and spent decades keeping safe, was like killing your child, and your father's memory. to send you away, alone, where he most likely won't see you again in years, was also off the table. it wasn't funny anymore. he started walking around the man's chair, picking up his sleeves. he checked the clock in the office, he had forty-five minutes with the man, meaning, forty-five minutes to make him talk. he ressourced to every fast interrogation method he knew. the people outside the door weren't surprised when they heard the man's screams, even wondering what had taken so long for the boss to start acting. katsuki was never a patient man. his senses were blocked, he couldn't hear anything but screams and begging, all his eyes could see was pain through all the man's body, his hands felt nothing but warm blood. but for the first time in a while, he wasn't enjoying it. he was doing it out of need, the need to save you. every minute that went by, was a minute were your life risked. he never felt so close to losing his sanity.

"outside the city! she's in one of our safe houses outside the city! i don't know which, please stop!" ten minutes before the timeline he finally gave up. your intelligence had all their safe houses, storages, garages, every location needed. not a second passed when one of yours men delivered a map with all the points marked. there were five in total.

"throw him outside in ten minutes" he shouted, walking to the armory "two teams, six people each, my fucking people, hear me? now, dammit! we're leaving in a minute, if i have to go by my fucking self, i'll do it"

when he was armed to the teeth, almost a dozen of people followed him outside. they were his most trusted men and women, being trained together, he knew they were as skilled as him, and they were all willing to put their life's at stake for you, their boss. in the car, bakugou barked the instructions. he had narrowed it down to two possible locations with all the information he had. if they had to kill every person in those places, then be it. he's going to get you back.

#bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #mha x reader #mha x y/n #mha bakugou #bakugou bnha #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugō #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bnha #mha katsuki #katsuki x y/n #bakugou x y/n #bnha mafia au #mha mafia au #bakugou mafia au #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugou #bakugou x you #bakugou fanfiction #– star's; originals! [❀]

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

Dear slashers - or michael or thomas if youre available - i am about to move out of a bad home and i'm really anxious. i'm scared i'm going to screw something up or embarrass myself. any words of wisdom or comfort? i would appreciate anything. regards, a fan

A few new faces are in the middle of a short tour, led by Hannibal and Jesse. Thomas watches silently until he feels someone nudge his side. He turns away from the proceedings to find Brahms holding a letter out to him.

"This one's addressed to you," chirps his child's voice, "well, and..."

He nods in Michael's direction, who is currently occupied with scavenging through the fridge for other people's food. Thomas doubts he'll find anything; everyone knows better than to keep any food in there.

"Don't know how we're supposed to get him to play along though," Brahms shrugs.

"Actually, I've had an idea about that," Hannibal responds, suddenly right behind the two men. Brahms startles, squeaks, and clutches his chest.

"Give a guy a heart attack, why don't you!" He grouses, vocal affectation slipping in surprise. Hannibal ignores him, pulling one of the newcomers over.

Thomas takes a look at him; he's big, though not quite as big as him, and he's wearing a mask, like many of their number. He seems nervous about suddenly being dragged over, which Thomas can understand, so he lifts a hand to give a friendly wave. The man seems to fluster a bit at that, but waves back.

"This is Jason," Hannibal introduces. Brahms stretches a hand out towards him - Jason nearly stumbles over his own feet in his haste to reciprocate, before shaking it rather vigorously. "Lovely - now, per our discussion earlier, there’s the one."

Hannibal gestures toward Michael, who has just left the kitchen (empty handed, and looking decidedly grouchy about it). Jason immediately heads over; Michael stops in his tracks when he sees him, pulling a large knife from seemingly nowhere, watching him approach like a guarded predator. Jason makes a few hand motions, and in response Michael raises the knife - so Jason pounces, tackling him by the waist.

Everyone else in the room watches as they tumble around like a puma fighting a st. bernard, until Brahms turns back toward Thomas, pushing the letter in his direction.

"Right then, in the meantime?"

Thomas nervously picks up a pen.

By the time Thomas signs his name, the scuffle has died down. Jason appears, carrying Michael in a bear hug, and throws him down into a chair next to Brahms, who immediately vacates his seat and skitters to Thomas' other side.

Dear anon,

Well... I reckon moving out is always scary, but you gotta do it sometime, and it's extra important if you're in a bad situation. Feeling worried is normal, and... well, you might screw up some, but that's okay - keep on moving forward anyway. Later on, you'll look back and be real happy you got out of there, and real proud about how well you did. You're brave, and you can do it. Keep repeating that in your head, especially on the days you have trouble believing it.

Thomas looks back and forth from the letter to Michael, who seems to be fuming but exhausted. He slides the letter, and his pen, down the table toward him.

Michael stares at it for a moment before picking it up, reading it, and then laying in back on the table to write, in large, dark letters:

LET THE FEAR COMPEL YOU TO RUN.

Then he gets up and exits the room, passing Jesse, who appears to be doubled over in silent laughter. Jason, looking worn out as well and sporting several long gashes, glances over to Hannibal, who claps him on the back.

"Nicely done. Let's consider that a success."

About time that freeloader did some work, Jesse signs.

"Quite. Good job, Jason." Brahms adds, moving back to his chair now that the boogeyman has vacated the one next to it.

Jason fidgets happily.

#Dear Slashers #Making Jason into Michael's handler is the only way I'm gonna be able to get him to do anything #also Jesse is a huge hypocrite. He never does any work either #he will ignore you if you point this out #I hope Thomas sounds right? It's hard to have him write something when he never speaks in canon

[ma-gic-gay]

A few hours later, Carly's finally managed to sleep. It was a battle to get her to even admit she was tired, so it's peaceful that she's agreed to.

Besides one ten minute bathroom and punching a wall break, he hasn't left her bedside, nor alerted her kids yet that she's in the hospital. Sound the alarms when she's okay with it, or really needs everyone to be there that very second. That might mean it'll be a while before they find out, but whatever.

Well, it was peaceful, that is, until she woke up screaming for him even though he's sitting right next to her.

"Jason!" She screams, half sobbing. She's reliving it, breaking his heart once more. There are very few things in this world that can make Jason Morgan cry, but Carly Corinthos crying or being hurt in any way, shape, or form can in a single second.

"I'm right here," he assures her, watching her breathing slow slightly from the rapid pace it was at as she registers the sound of his voice. "You're safe now, I'm here."

"Don't let me go," she half begs. "Cyrus, he'll be back any minute now."

"Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?" Jason asks, shifting her face so she's looking at him. "Take me hand. Just trust me, you're safe."

"Is that blood? Do I feel blood? Did you- where's Cyrus? Did you kill him?"

"Yes, you feel blood but that's not what's important right now-"

"You are bleeding, I think that matters. Did you do it, did you kill Cyrus?" Carly asks, still thinking they're in that little room from what he can tell.

"No, I didn't kill him. Carly, you're at GH. You got kidnapped and raped. Cyrus is in police custody right now," he reminds her gingerly.

She starts looking around, calming down from her nightmare. "Jason, why the hell are you bleeding?"

"I punched a wall."

"Sudden outbursts of anger like that in a public place aren't a good idea."

"Yeah, well you were sleeping, I had to pee and I heard the nurses gossipping about what happened to you so I punched a wall."

"And you've got bloody hands. You've got to get these stitched, this could be a deep cut. Let me look and check it out."

"You barely passed nursing school, Carly, and that was 30 years ago. Do you feel qualified to tell me whether or not I need stitches?"

"Yes, I do."

Sighing his defeat, he lets her look at his hands. "Okay, this isn't that bad. You don't need stitches but you do need a bandage and some hydrogen peroxide that I will apply myself because I do not trust that twelve year old to do it for you," Carly smiles. "God, if only I'd paid attention in nursing school."

"I take it you mean Elizabeth when you say the twelve year old?"

"Correct. Liz can go treat the other patients. I, on the other hand, have absolutely nothing to do so you are going to let me find bandages and a first aid kit and fix you up."

This is better than sobbing, right? Maybe?

She presses the little red button for a nurse and Elizabeth walks in. "I need a first aid kit and bandages."

"For what, exactly?"

"Jason's hand," Carly answers smugly, holding it up. "I'm patching it up for him."

"It's my job to do that, Carly."

"No, it's my job to make sure he doesn't get hurt as his best friend. It's your job to make sure I'm not going to be dead by morning," she responds sarcastically. God help them all, she's gonna pick a fight.

"Fine, Carly. I'll get you the first aid kit. Don't kill him, alright?" Elizabeth says, grimacing.

"Not to worry, Liz, I take plenty good care of him."

When she leaves, he rolls his eyes at her. "I thought you and Elizabeth called a truce. Or did I forget and now I'm going to be in hell for the next few days while you're in here?"

"I'm not being rude. We agreed to not fist fight each other and I'm not bad mouthing her," she defends herself quickly before changing the topic in a way only she can do successfully. "Alright, we need to have a discussion."

"I liked it better when you were sleeping," Jason groans.

"You love me," she counters. "And besides it's not going to be taking forever."

"Sure," he agrees sarcastically and she fakes offended.

"Well I need to stay awake somehow until little miss perfect over there gets me some damn bandaids," the blonde smiles, "and now I want to walk down memory lane. Let's reminisce, shall we?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

"Then I guess we're reminiscing."

In light of recent events (fucking and kissing), this is definitely a stupid idea. Probably one of her dumbest yet. Well, no, it doesn't involve a kidnapping or marriage. So probably one of the weirder ones. Not dumb, persay, but strange.

"You remember the morning after? The first one, when I told you you were gonna be my boy on the side and you didn't even want to know my name?" She asks, smiling at the memory.

"Yeah. We never managed to do that, did we?"

"Well, in my defense, I was thinking, here's this super hot guy, and I wanted to know more about him."

"You were bored and needed a friend."

"Well, I did need a friend too but my point still stands." When he waves his hand unceremoniously, she continues, "and then I remember when I showed up on your doorstep, pregnant with Michael. I kicked you out of a meeting and everything to tell you and beg you to claim to be the dad."

"I agreed because he needed to be kept away from AJ, which I still stand by. Besides, I didn't have anything else to do."

"And I ended up giving you a child. Sorry for, you know, fucking that up with AJ," Carly says, "but I think that kid grew up with you and Sonny as his dad figures, which is better than I ever got."

"I don't know how much better but I agree he's a great guy"

"Because of you. Sonny, yes of course he loved Michael, but come on. He raised him when it was convenient, like all of his other kids. You raised Michael and didn't accept any credit I gave you for how he turned out," she smiles sadly at him.

"Well, that's because you raised a great kid with Sonny."

"And you. Moreso you, if you think about it, because as much as I loved Sonny, he didn't raise a kid. Dante was raised by Olivia, you, Jax, and I played more of a role in Michael's life, Alexis raised Kristina, Ava and I raise Avery more than him, Morgan was raised more by Jax, you and I, and Donna won't even have any memories of him, so I'm hoping she turns out okay."

"She will. After all, all of your kids are doing great."

"Thanks," she smiles. "And thanks for not calling them when you got here. I just, I can't deal with that right now."

"Exactly why I didn't tell them."

"You remember that time you kissed me, after Bobbie's not wedding to Jerry?"

"Yeah."

"God, who would've thought all those years ago we'd end never even giving it a shot."

"Me."

"Only after I slept with Sonny."

"Fair enough."

"Sorry for pretty much cheating on you and, you know, ruining what was basically the healthiest relationship I ever had up until that point. It really only rivals Jax, and even then, he was a bitch about Josslyn's custody."

"I forgave you for that a long time ago, Carly. You know that."

"Yeah but it was still a shitty thing to do. I mean, if I had any sense at all, I would've just stormed in there and asked you what you were doing and it never would've happened."

"No point dwelling on the past," Jason suggests.

"No point? Do you know what I was doing the whole time you were gone and I wasn't kidnapped? Thinking about the past. Thinking about everything we went through. I mean, the fact we didn't kill each other is impressive as it is." Carly marvels at their past.

"Because of last night?"

"Yeah, because of last night and because of this whole year and just everything. It just, it made me think."

"Oh no."

"It's not bad thoughts! But it got me thinking, we never gave us a shot."

"Because we decided each time we had an opportunity it wouldn't work," he reminds her. "Or you came up with yet another plan that would inevitably lead to us getting into a fight."

"My plans happen less and less now."

"Which makes them more and more dangerous," Jason argues.

"This isn't about my plans, it's about our past."

Ugh, conversations like this are the bane of his existence. They're also a great time, normally, to tune her out but this one, he can't. Not after his own mental confusion regarding their present and maybe it had something to die with their past. Maybe.

"Because of what happened last night, Carly, you think we're, what, meant to be or something?"

"When did you get to be such a mind reader?" She asks with a very large smile on her face.

"Are you flirting with me?"

"Just kiss me."

He obliges.

To be continued after I get a good six hours of sleep (:) I live in pain

for you :)

[tomishaped]

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings:

Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

Supernatural

Relationship:

Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton

Characters:

Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain

Additional Tags:

Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.

Previous Chapters

• Chapter One •

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Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave

Part One

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When they had reached the car Dean made quick work of the door locks and got them both inside before he punched it, only leaving squealing tires and smoke behind them as they took off. Dean didn’t start to relax till they were a mile or so away from the group of demons, still keeping an eye on the mirrors though just in case. “You really pissed someone off," he said with a grin as he glanced over at the other while he drove.

Izzy did manage to force himself to relax once they were in the car, though Dean still happened to look tense with the way he was looking out his mirrors for someone. Honestly, it probably helped the demon to relax with the fact that Izrael couldn't feel Dagon as close anymore. She was either losing interest or losing track of them for now, either way that worked for him. "Huh?" He was honestly confused at first when Dean said that, "Why would you think I pissed some- oh! Because of all that? Right. Yeah. They don't seem to fond of me, do they? I should probably stop crashing into their parties like that." 

Izrael shifted in the seat a little and rolled his eyes when he saw the man look out his mirrors again, "You can stop doing that now. We're fine, mommy lost us," he said with a shrug, leaning back in the seat again, trying to get comfortable. He was ready to get out of the Winchesters car now, and he would really like to do it without having to kill the hunter next to him in order to keep him from following or trying to track him. Even if he didn't have an issue with killing humans, he didn't know which way Dean's soul would go now and having it back in the pit after he killed him could possibly become… problematic. "So uh, yeah, you can just drop me off whenever now and can go get back too… whatever the hell you were doing before joining me at that lovely party tonight. I'm actually supposed to be at a different party right now anyways, so anywhere is good."

Dean snickered when the other said that they had crashed a few parties, it made sense. He did raise an eyebrow when he was told that the horde had backed off of them. Granted he hadn’t noticed any one but still, he never trusted demons to give up. “To be honest, I was out looking for a good time… guess I found it,” he said with a wicked grin, still feeling a bit of an adrenaline high from the fight and sprint to the car. “Rest of my evening is open if you want some back up,” he offered the blond. “Not saying you can’t handle yourself, I saw your moves back there but… twenty to one is a bit much,”  he said while giving him a bit of a doubtful side look. 

This is what Dean thought of as a good time? The human was either suicidal or crazy. Sure, Izzy did have fun doing shit like this too, but he was a demon- he was fucking crazy. "Mmm, yeah… it was a bit much till you showed up. Definitely would have ended up losing this jacket," Izrael laughed a little at Dean and shook his head, "See, I haven't gone and learned my lesson yet it seems since I'm definitely gonna be crashing one of their parties again. Gotta find it first though, and I can't do that in a strangers car."

Dean raised an eyebrow when the blond mentioned that they weren’t done yet and was looking to start a similar party to where he just found them. Ok sure he had been doing stupid stuff since he got back but he had an excuse. He was trying to repress what felt like forty years of Hell - literal Hell. So what was this kid's excuse? She might be crazy, but her crazy was also kinda hot and hunters like this don’t tend to stick in one place long because of the next big hunt. Besides, too often if they stayed in one place for long then all the enemies they made along the way had a tendency to catch up to them. “I can drop you off wherever your next party is so you don’t get jumped on the way again…” Dean trailed off a little as he drove, “could at least tell me your name before you get yourself killed.”

Izrael smiled at the hunter. "Why would I give someone I've never met in this life my name? Doesn't sound too smart. Besides, I don't see you passing over that information either."

Dean grinned. “Sorry, thought you picked it up before things got hairy. Names Dean, Dean Winchester," he said as he held a hand out to shake as he drove, glancing at the blond but mostly keeping his eyes on the road. “You know demons can’t keep their big mouths shut, if your next party is anything like that one, they’re going to be ready for you and you’re going to lose more than your jacket, sweetheart," he said in a matter of fact tone. “Might be a better idea to show up with back up and armed to the teeth,” he offered with a mischievous grin. “Lucky for you I know the perfect place.”

His excuse? His absolute only memories were of hell. Turning into a demon the way he had had wiped out all his human memories and the little demon only knew the last sixty years he had spent in hell training to do just this. He wasn't trying to repress hell, why repress when it was all he knew? He was just doing what Asmodues sent him off to do, and with the youngest prince of hell being the closest person to the blond and having nothing else to really do… he listened. He enjoyed killing other demons, it was a task he found fun. But when your job is to kill any demon that stands against the man you're working for, you don't exactly make any friends. And being alone only gave him more time to hunt down Asmodues's enemies. It was a vicious never ending cycle that wasn't going to change anytime soon as far as Izrael could tell. Hell either hated him, feared him, or admired him from afar - very afar. No one was brave enough to chance getting on Izzy's bad side. And those that were like the hoard tonight that actually tried to kill him were just too stupid to stay away and deserved to die anyways as far as he was concerned. 

Of course he knew who Dean was once he heard his name. But the hunter didn't need to know that Izrael had heard of him. He eyed the other’s hand for a moment before he sighed and half gave in to the man, though didn't reach his own hand out, "Izzy Hilton," he said, using the name that Asmodues had given him for when he had to pretend to be human. Though he had no idea that it actually was his name. That Asmodues called him Izrael to see if any of the once nineteen year old’s memories would spark with little clues like that. It never did. "They're always on the lookout for me… wouldn't be anything new…" he said with a little shrug, getting the gut feeling that this hunter was not about to let him go off on his own anytime soon. The last thing the little demon needed was to do spend time with a fucking Wincester, especially the one that spent all that time in hell. "No offense, but I don't really work with others. Thanks for the help back there and everything, but you're Dean Winchester… so you and I working together is a bad idea. Trust me."

With both hands back on the wheel, Dean snorted when Izzy said that demons watching out was nothing new. He understood that, that's what made the Bunker so beautiful. It was the definition of a safe house for spooky shit and basically everything else. He sucked some air between his teeth when it seemed the other knew who he was by name, having heard some of the stuff hunters thought of him while he was putting in time at the Roadhouse. “Fair, I mean we did just meet and I also just saved your ass from a fucking gaggle of demons, but okay,” he said, half joking. “We don’t know each other, and inviting you to my secret Men of Letters bunker can seem a little Silence of the Lambs but I promise, imma damn puppy dog compared to your normal party guests,” he said,.  Ane yes, he did just name drop the Men of Letters to see if that helped his case. Dean wasn’t a creep and if Izzy wanted out he’d drop them off wherever they wanted but all horn-dog habits aside, he wouldn’t rest well if he did. He’d probably end up asking around and looking into this pretty Izzy Hilton to see what her story was about. “Again, I know bunker can be off putting, but this place is huge, over twenty bedrooms to pick from. It’s armed to the teeth so nothing is getting in. I have one of the few keys to get in but you can get out whenever you like,” he added, trying to seem a little less kidnappy and rapey. “That and there's a hundred year old whiskey collection.”

Izzy had absolutely zero ideas of what other hunters thought of the man he was currently sitting next too. Up until now, he had done a really good job at avoiding them in his travels and work. Sure, to be on the safe side he did do some research on hunters who seemed to be the biggest threats but until now he hadn't actually met any of them. So, right now he couldn't figure out if it was just bad fucking luck that Dean Winchester happened to walk in on his ambush, or some weird good luck to get him out of it unharmed. Even after over fifty years as a demon, almost sixty now maybe? He honestly had never actually hurt a human. So did he deserve this kind of bad luck? On the other hand though, can demons actually have good luck? It was really confusing. 

Fact was, Izzy only knew of Dean Winchester from the mouths of other demons. His research on hunters in general was by word of mouth in hell. It wasn't like there were any books he could read on them. So he knew the man was obviously a good hunter, and not just when it came to demons. He knew the idiot sold his soul to save that dumbass brother of his that was hanging around one of the main demons on his own hit list. It was just really hard to get to the bitch when she was being protected by the hunter drinking demon blood. He only knew that from actually running across her once, he could fucking smell the demon blood radiating from the human she was with and it didn't take long to figure out who that human was and what fucking Ruby was doing with him. Little Sammy Winchester. Lovely. He also knew the man next to him spent what was like forty years in hell, being tortured for most of them by fucking Alastair. It had come as a surprise when he heard that there was some sort of angel watching out for him. Well, the angel part wasn't really known when he figured it out. It was just known that the man was pulled out of hell and Izrael knew that an Angel was the only way the man could have escaped hell and returned to his body the way he had. And really, he would prefer to avoid angels. Most demons weren't really that much of a threat to him. They could likely hurt him but Izzy was not easy to actually kill. Not that they had quite figured that out yet. But he had no idea what an angel might be able to do to him. 

Izrael couldn't remember his own torture. He actually had no idea it even happened. Ever since the day Asmodues found his newly turned demon in that cage he kept his pet in, the youngest prince acted as though that was the first day of Izzy's life. He didn't even know that he was in that cage because of that man in the first place. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean, even though I'm pretty damn sure you're no puppy dog," Izzy told him with a little roll of his eyes, the man who had spent his last few years in hell torturing other souls was far from a puppy. But he had caught Izzy's attention mentioning the Men of Letters. He vaguely remembered Asmodues mentioning them decades ago. Something about them being all dead now… about them holding knowledge no one else had. Going to this bunker… could prove useful if the knowledge thing was true.

Izzy finally looked over at Dean again, tucking hair behind his ears, "Well whiskey is always a very good and tempting offer," he said, chewing on his lip a little as he thought it over. "If you're all armed like you say you are… Do you also have books and shit? Like, books on demons and shit." Izzy knew he had been turned differently than almost every other demon that existed, he had to have been to have his own body and no ability whatsoever to jump from one meatsuit to the next, but he had no idea what happened to make him this way. And no book he had found since being set loose on the world had been able to give him the answer he was looking for. If this bunker had hidden knowledge it might be his best bet to find out how he turned, because Asmodues wasn't telling him anytime soon. "And I really wouldn't have to just stay if I don't want to. I can just walk out? Seriously?"

Dean just grinned when the other said he was pretty sure he wasn’t a puppy, calling him out like that. And he believed them when they said that they weren’t scared of him, he did find her in the middle of a demon infested alleyway in the middle of the night. His grin grew when Izzy seemed to be mulling the thought over. He raised an eyebrow and chanced a longer glance at the other when he was asked about books. That he hadn’t been expecting, didn’t peg her for a book type. There might be something they were looking for specifically that the old bats had locked away. He would definitely be doing an inventory check but hey it sounded like they were coming around to the idea. A new face and alone time might do him some good, even if they don't get handsy and this Izzy turned out to be a gigantic book worm. 

“Like I said you need a magic key to get in but getting out isn’t a problem, locks behind you but I gotta warn you the cell service sucks,” he said with a smile. He altered his route and started out of town and toward the bunker. The long ride was pretty much silent after that, Dean was honestly a bit too nervous to say something and have the blond change her mind about coming. He couldn't help wanting to help her, wanting to figure her out at least a little. From wanting to protect the little thing and knowing that he would just worry about them at this point. “Just don’t take anything, alright? Not really supposed to take people to the BatCave but…” he trailed off with a shrug after he parked by the bunker, obviously making an exception for the blond right now. 

Izzy shrugged when he mentioned cell service, that meant pretty much nothing to him. Of course he knew what a cell phone was, he had been in this world long enough. But he never felt the need to get one. Who the hell was he gonna call? "No big deal, no cell phone. I was serious, I've never worked with someone else before. Never felt the need to get one," he shrugged, as little like it was normal or something to not have a cell this day and age. He honestly didn't actually know either way though. "And I don't plan on taking anything. I've got my own weapons and shit. Just… looking for a little info is all. If you happen to have a book with what I want to know, well, then I won't really need it anymore once I read it." He ignored the Bat Cave comment for the moment, not wanting to let the hunter next to him realize he actually understood the reference. He especially didn't want him to know he found it amusing.

Dean decided to leave Baby in a little hidden knook they made for when they didn’t plan on staying long and putting her in the very nice garage. He just grinned as they walked up to the old green doors after grabbing a bag from the trunk and he pulled it open for the other. Once past the first threshold Dean unlocked the second doors and stepped through, holding it open for the other. “This is the legacy of the Men of Letters, a bit old and dusty but we’re still fixing the place up.” he said as they made their way down the spirling, metal staircase. He walked past the light up map table and tossed his bag on the first long table in the library. “Wanna tour?” he asked as he turned to the other, smiling at them.

He just wanted a fucking book that explained how humans became demons. Without their souls spending hundreds of years tortured in hell. Asmodues had no choice but to tell him that he turned differently than everyone else when he realized he couldn't just jump from meat suit to meat suit like everyone else could. His soul never left his body, something in him changed while he was still a human. But that was all Asmodues would say on the subject. Honestly it was the one thing about the man who called himself Izzy's master that drove him absolutely insane. He didn't care so much about whatever his human life was since he couldn't miss what he didn't remember or had any sort of idea what it might have been like, but he did want to know why he turned into a demon. Was he evil in his previous life? Is that how it worked? He remembered someone once saying that he must have cracked to change the way he did, but cracked from what and how? He just wanted to know how the fuck he came into existence. What made him so different from other demons. Why even Dagon, who knew that Izzy couldn't kill her without that oh so special gun, feared him to some extent. And nothing he had found so far explained any of that shit. Was he a bookworm? Mmm, debatable. Ask any demon who knew him they'd say no,, but Izzy was really good at keeping things about himself pretty damn secret. The less people knew the less they had on you and the safer you were. But the truth was that he did love books, loved to read and learn. And now that he wasn't under Asmodues' thumb at all times and had a mission to carry out, he was able to use research for said mission as an excuse to read. Sure, he was actually doing research but for so much more than anyone actually knew. 

Izzy was a bit unsure following Dean into the bunker when they got there. This could be a really, really stupid idea. But on the other hand… he was going to have info on the Winchester's no one else could possibly dream of having and he might get a few other answers out of this as well so he followed along. He looked around as Dean led him through the place, tilting his head and letting a confused little look cross his face as he tilted his head back to see the ceiling, "Uh, sure, if you want. So, do you keep the bats in some special room or something? I kinda just pictured them all over the place."

Her not havung a phone probably should have set off more red fags then it did because even if you were a loner it was useful to have one since pay phones were all but extinct. He tilted his own head when Izzy had mentioned bats, that had been a reaction he might have expected from Cas but really? “It’s not really a batca-... never mind. This is our fortress,” he said, just trying to get past what he felt was a painful moment. He turned on his heel and held up his arms out on either side as he gestured to the books. “This is the library. Nothing says stuffy bookworms like having a library right at the front door right?” He said with a laugh, turning completely to face the other as he walked around one of the tables. 

If Izrael actually cared much about completely blending in when he was going by Izzy he probably would have gotten a cell phone. But truth be told, he didn't actually care what humans thought about him and despite Asmodues having insisted he play the part on earth he could probably count on one hand how many times he had ever used the name Izzy before. Since he usually avoided hunters he rarely ever felt the need too. So really… What was the point of carrying around a little electronic box used to call people? The only person who would ever actually want to get ahold of him had his own ways of doing so. But even Asmodues left Izzy to himself for the most part nowadays as long as he kept doing what he was told and continued to work his damnedest to keep Lucifer in his box. Though if he had realized how odd it actually was to not have one, he wouldn't have mentioned it. 

Of course it wasn't actually a Bat Cave. It almost annoyed him that the hunter found it so easy to believe that the batman reference really meant nothing to the blond. Sure, part of him was glad too because he didn't want the fact that he enjoyed those comics to be known by anyone, but still… how stupid did this hunter think he really was if he believed that Izzy? He was pretty sure that Batman was popular among humans. It was the Winchester thinking he was dumb that bothered him more than anything though, because that was just not true. Izzy had always been rather smart, even before he turned, he had a near photographic memory. But with all memories of humanity gone, and those memories being from close to sixty years before anyways, all that was left was hell and the supernatural. And he figured that shit out quickly, easily. Humans, not so much. Humanity and what they were like and what they did like were never on his list of things he needed to learn about. Humans weren't his targets. "No offense, but you don't exactly strike me as the bookworm type," he said, moving around the table to go and look at the spines of the books, fingers running lightly over them. Yeah, this would definitely be his best bet at finding answers. Some of these were obviously old as fuck. "The kill first and ask questions later type. Though I suppose since all you hunters go after everything supernatural, you need the lore books, huh?" He personally didn't bother with any other supernatural beings, just the demons on Lucifer and Dagon's side. Which was probably a good thing for them, if this little demon were to ever start working as a real hunter with someone like Dean… they wouldn't stand a chance. As they had proved earlier… the two of them working on the same side had some pretty nasty consequences for those fighting against them. 

Dean chuckled when Izzy said he didn’t seem like the book worm type, oh hell no that was Sammy’s department. “Yeah no, that's more my brother's thing,” he said as he walked over to the opposite wall, towards the small table with a few bottles filled clear, brown liquid and a few glasses. “I at least wait long enough to see what I'm fighting so I know how to kill it.” Dean poured them a few glasses and headed to the closest main table to the blond. He leaned against it on his hip and took a sip from his glass while he held out the other to Izzy. The other’s wording did strike him as odd though and he raised an eyebrow a little. The way he said it was just off, but Dean wanted to think Izzy was just into demons, and therefore could know some pretty useful stuff. That or maybe he was really green and thought of himself being different from regular hunters. His gut was telling him something was still off though, but he wasn’t sure what.

Izzy was glad his back was to the hunter when he mentioned his brother so he didn't see the little demon roll his eyes and scowl at the mention of that junkie who was seriously getting in his way with that bitch he was attached to. He was pretending he didn't really know much about them… which wasn't a complete lie, but he had a serious suspicion he knew something about the younger Winchester that Dean didn't. He might know about the demon bitch Sam hung out with but he highly doubted this man knew about the blood and psychic shit that boy was playing with. The psychic shit was honestly the main reason he hadn't gone after Ruby yet, he wasn't like other demons, he had no idea how Sam's little exercising shit would affect him. 

“You know, you never mentioned what you were looking into. I’m guessing something demon related,” he mentioned to the other. There wasn’t much small talk on the car ride over.

He didn't say anything for a bit while Dean spoke and walked around the room, more interested in looking through the shelves of books for anything that looked promising. But he never let his guard down really, constantly aware of where Dean was around him or how close he was. He stiffened a bit when he felt Dean closer again and he asked that direct question. Izzy didn't really want to answer anything he was asked, but avoiding taking to him too much might just seem more suspicious. Fuck. He really should have paid more attention to the humans around him the last decade, he was really bad at trying to be one. "Yeah, demon related," Izzy finally said as he turned around and saw Dean holding out the whiskey he had promised. Alcohol didn't really affect him as much as it did humans unless he drank an ungodly amount so he wasn't worried about drinking at least. 

He took the glass offered to him and leaned against the bookshelf behind him, shrugging his shoulder a little, "Don't know if you picked up on it during that whole ambush shit, but I kinda hunt demons. Apparently I'm pretty good at it since they don't seem to like me much at all." He took a drink from the whiskey he was given, relishing in the burn that goes down his throat. As a demon, the little blond didn't need to eat. The few times he did were few and far between and it was always for some reason he couldn't figure out, but knew he just wanted whatever the hell it was that he was trying. But he did like to drink. Alcohol that is. He liked the burn. 

"Just curious what kind of people become demons and how. Always good for a guy to know everything he can about his enemies and all, yanno?" It wasn't a lie. He had actually been avoiding actually lying to the hunter. Izzy didn't like to lie, it was too hard to remember the fake information he had given to who. So the only thing he had lied about was his name, but that wasn't that big of a lie as Izzy did sound like a nickname for Izrael. Mostly, he was just leaving out details he didn't think Dean needed to know. Like the fact he was a demon and really just wanted to know how he, himself, had turned. How demons like him were made. Because as far as the books he had found about demons elsewhere knew, Cain was the only other person to become a demon this way. And almost nothing was fucking known about that man. As a matter of fact, he was the one demon who no matter how hard he tried Izzy could not fucking find. Not that he had really looked into how to find him. He didn't want to kill Cain like he did with everyone else he hunted down, he wanted answers. But even so, he knew Cain wasn't exactly like him and probably didn't have the answers he wanted. So that had just been another fucking dead end. The little blond didn't do a whole lot of shit that he actually wanted to do or something anyways, ninety percent of his time was spent following Asmodues' orders to hunt down Dagon's followers and make sure Lucifer didn't get out of that cage. 

Dean nodded a little when the other confirmed that it was demon related, easy guess. “You don’t pick up that kind of attention without being a major pain in their ass,” he said with a snicker. The man's shoulders stiffened when he took another drink when Izzy said what he was looking into. What kind of people become demons. He forced back a smile and shifted a little as he tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not let it run off with the flashbacks and nightmares he has. It felt like every time he blinked he was hit with a flash of something he’d seen or had done. He told everyone he didn't’ remember any of it and refused to talk about it and self medicated with liquor like any good hunter.

Well duh, obviously he was a pain in their asses. Two dozen of them had actually gotten together without someone in power telling them what to do to try and take him out. They failed, miserably thanks to the hunter near him right now, but it didn't negate the fact that Izzy was a huge threat to them and their plans. Really though, if the whole fucking lot of them just fucking stopped trying to set Lucifer free Izzy would have no problem leaving them alone. But until that happened…. He had a job to do. What the hell would he do with himself if Asmodeus actually managed to take the crown and this mission was over? He'd actually never thought about that before. Every single memory he had had something to do with him having to keep Lucifer in the cage. 

“Well demons are mostly twisted and tortured souls. You get twisted up so much down there you turn into something else,” he said, rubbing at his brow as he fidgeted a little as he spoke. “At the end of the day they're a spirit, just nastier. You don’t normally catch one running around before they possess someone but the same tricks apply, salt and iron,” he told him, running off a few things off the top of his head, mostly from first hand experience. “I’m sure you know all about devils traps and all that,” he said, waving his hand and finally looking over at the other. It was probably a good thing Dean had been so caught up with that Izzy was looking into that he completely missed the suspicious pronoun.

Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Dean when the man just told him shit he already knew. Was he actually under the impression that someone he thought was a legit demon hunter didn't know that shit already? Also. He was wrong. While holy water did have the same effect on him that it did to most demons, salt and iron actually didn't bother him for some reason. Every single voice in his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut for a while, to not get sucked into this conversation. But the thing was… he actually wanted to talk about this shit. He never talked with anyone about shit he actually wanted too. Demons avoided him unless they were trying to kill him, he avoided humans and hunters, and Asmodues pretty much just told him what to do. The little demon didn't actually have any memories of just talking with someone about something he was interested in. And this happened to be the biggest fucking intrest he really had right now.

"See, right there just proves you really have no fucking clue what you're actually dealing with, do you? Obviously being tortured in hell is going to fuck up any soul in some way, but not every soul in hell becomes a demon. This world would be fucked if they did. There are millions and millions of souls in hell." He only just stopped himself from pointing out that despite Dean's own torture and escapades with Alastair he didn't actually turn into a demon. No, a fucking angel actually came and pulled him from the pit. So what the hell was it that made some souls twist the same way he had even though he hadn't gone through that die and be tortured shit and made others just… well, be tortured for all eternity. Or torture as was the case with some. "Yeah, most of them are just nastier twisted spirits, and you don't normally see one walking around without someone else's meat suit… but they can. It's apparently super fucking rare for it to happen, but a human can just wake up a demon somehow. In their own skin and everything. So I want to know what makes the souls that twist that way different from those that don't. What kind of person they must have been. And what happens to those people who turn? How does that happen? But unfortunately, because it's so fucking rare, I haven't been able to find a single book in the last ten years that actually explains that shit." He sighed a little in frustration at the thought before just shaking his head and finishing the rest of his own drink before he turned his back to Dean again to start looking through the books again, waving his own hand in dismissal of the subject. Dean wasn't going to have the answers he wanted obviously. "But yes, of course I know all about devils traps. I just don't use them." He couldn't if he wanted too, not unless he wanted to get stuck inside one himself. Besides, even if he could… with the way he hunted, it would be pretty damn useless and time consuming to try since it was usually a sneak attack/ambush of his own on their own grounds. Wasting time with a devils trap when it was just so much easier to kill them just seemed stupid. "Do you have any sort of order with these books or am I gonna have to look through all of them to find the ones about demons?"

Dean was a little taken back when Izzy said that he had no clue about demons. He felt anger rise up in his belly and his face tightened some. His pride didn’t like that but the built up emotion subsided the more Izzy spoke. He did have a point, if that’s all it took then Hell would be nothing but demons. He never really focused on the fine details, he just killed them. His face became a mix of surprises and doubt when Izzy kept going and told him about the type of demons that keep their bodies. What the hell? He’d never heard of something like that before, what the hell could it be capable of? It was a worrying thought. “This keeps getting better and better,” Dean muttered under his breath. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about his younger brother on his road trip with his little demon buddy. What if that was Ruby's plan, twist his brother into one of them? He’d fucking gank that bitch before she could try. He wanted to call and check up but that hadn’t gone so well last time. 

He made a small face when Izzy asked about an order to the crazy amount of information. He finished his half glass of whiskey and pushed off of the table, setting the glass down before walking away. “I have a feeling what we’re looking for isn’t in here, come on,” He said, motioning the other to follow him with a head nod. He led the blond down the hall a bit, through another doorway and down some stairs. He pushed one of the two heavy doors open and held it open for the other hunter. “When we started going through the stuff that was left here we found that most of the heavy reading books are in here,” He told him. The room was about 25 by 25 feet, metal shelving lined all the walls filled with books and some jars. There was a decent sized table in the middle of the room under the only light, taking up a good chunk of the free space. 

Dean just nearly kidnapped the little blond he helped out that he knew nothing about other than the fact he could kill demons pretty damn well and brought him to his secret bunker and he thought anything that came out of this idea wouldn't be completely fucked? Hell. He was pretty damn sure that Dean didn't even realize yet that he hadn't stepped in to help a pretty little girl, but actually a boy who just happened to look a lot like one. Add on to that fact that this boy was also one of those freaky ass demons he was just talking about and you could see clearly that this man definitely hadn't thought this through. "You have no idea," Izzy mumbled back, not sure or honestly even caring if Dean heard him. 

Izzy set down the glass still in his hand before he shrugged again and followed Dean through the bunker. Fuck. This place really was huge. Izzy couldn't help but grin a little when he looked into the room. Dark. Enclosed. No way for anyone to try and sneak up on him again. Exactly the kind of rooms he liked and usually worked in when he was looking for a party to crash. "Awesome," he said as he walked in the room. Creepy jars and big old books lining the walls on top of everything else, Izzy had instantly and probably noticeably relaxed more when he was in the room that was so much like a place he would actually want to be in. He didn't say anything else as he started scanning the books on one of the shelves, his eyes widening some when he saw what he instantly felt like he had been looking for for years now. It was smaller than any of the other books in here, but that wasn't surprising considering how little information there probably was at all on demons like him. Humans Turning Demon. 

Izzy grabbed the book off the shelf and took a few steps backwards to push himself up to sit on the table, just remembering that Dean was there as he went to open the book. "Uhm… thanks," he said, forcing himself to remember that he was supposed to be a human and actually used to having someone around and even weirder for him- that someone helping him. "Hey… uh, why are you being so like… nice and normal to me? As far as I've seen, people aren't just nice to strangers. Especially when said stranger is a pretty boy who can shove a knife into a human skull."

Dean noticed the small change in the others' demeanor when he showed them the room. The room didn’t bother him or his brother too much but ‘awesome’ wasn’t the normal reaction to this stuff. Though in this line of work, who’s really normal? You see a lot of weird and horrible shit fast and you pick up a few quirks along the way. He had half turned when  the other called out to him and thanked him, he was going to leave Izzy alone to do their digging. He raised an eyebrow when he was asked why he was being so helpful. He opened his mouth with a grin to say it was just the right thing to do for a lady when Izzy said that last part, his words luckily getting caught up in his throat. BOY!? WHOLY FUCK!! Dean’s back straightened as he looked the other over again. It took him a second or two to catch himself and he cleared his throat out a little. “Well you want demons dead and I want demons dead,” he said with a shrug, his brain still trying to absorb this enlightening new detail about the blond. “And I learned about a new fleshy kind of demon, win win,” Dean chuckled. Hell all of Dean seemed stiff. Right now, he honestly didn’t know what the fuck to do.

#supernatural #spn fan fic #spn fanfiction #spn #spn rpg #spn rp #tomishaped #tomishapedx #dean winchester #dean #sam winchester #fanfiction #spn fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic update #izzy hilton #m/m couple #m/m ship #m/m romance #m/m #m/s couple

[the-mad-starker]

Starker Smut: Homemade

Length: 8.2k

AO3 Link

Prompt: Omega mommy Tony and alpha son Peter who finally starts his rut. Tony ends up pregnant, and Tony loves feeling the life inside him, that feeling amplified by knowing that the pup(s) have part of Peter in them. When Tony starts lactating, Peter likes to nurse while he fucks his mama, caught between the safe, warm, feeling he gets from drinking from his momma and the desperate, near-frenzied mindset he gets fucking him.

Ive been MIA. Lack of motivation + IRL stuff = one very sad mads. So I finally finished this mommy kink fic yayy. Also using this as a fill for Starker bingo, X-ing out my Incest square 😱 anyone curious about my card can see it in the AO3 post.

Notes: ABO Dynamics, Incest (normalized sex setting), Omega Tony, Alpha Peter, intersex, marathon sex, knotting, breeding, impregnation, pregnant sex, lactation, ruts, lingerie, and so much mommy kink

Note 2: Not explicitly stated but throwing in the underaged warning here.

Also before anyone jumps me for breast feeding info/correction, I was too lazy to do a thorough research into this so I'm tweaking it in this omegaverse lol

💗💗💗

Tony's actually in a meeting when he gets the text.

It's from Happy, his loyal but too serious bodyguard slash chauffeur.

Boss, i just dropped the kid off at the house. He literally begged me not to tell you, but he isn't feeling too well. - HH

Tony frowns at the message and thinks for a half second before he shoots a text to his son.

Hey, kiddo. How's class going? - TS

There’s silence for a few seconds before his inbox is flooded in Peter's usual lightning fast but short sentence texts.

…

...Happy told you, didnt he

im sorry, i wasnt feeling good

They said I should just go home

And I told Happy not to tell you

he promised but I guess he lied

I'm fine, really just need to nap.

Sorry, mama.

It's the last line that gets him because lately, Peter has been trying to stop calling him mommy or mama. he wants to be more formal, more grown up and just call Tony mom, but it slips when he's feeling particularly vulnerable.

Meaning his baby needs him right this instant.

Tony excuses himself from the meeting and texts Happy to bring him home. Smart man, the beta is already waiting for him when Tony strolls out of the building.

He makes it to their home in Queens in record time but doesn't text to let his son know. Peter, despite being a clingy child, has some guilt about pulling Tony away from his job. The omega doesn't know where it comes from since he has always reassured his boy that he would move mountains for him.

Tony loosens his tie, slipping off his shoes when he enters their home.

There's a scent neutralizer in the air so the omega can't tell from scent alone if his son is in distress. Scent neutralizers in the ventilation but the walls aren't soundproof. The only ones that are soundproof are Tony's bedroom for… reasons... Not that he needs it. The omega hasn't had a partner for heats or otherwise since Peter was a baby.

He approaches Peter's bedroom and pauses when he hears sounds from inside.

A soft moan. His hand stills on the doorknob before he decides to knock.

He gets a soft yelp and the sound of something crashing on the floor. Tony raises a brow but schools his expression when Peter cracks the door open.

"Mama?" Peter whispers incredulously. He licks his dry lips and blinks too rapidly. "Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting…?"

Normally, Tony would have a sassy reply instantly but something… It's… It's hard to pinpoint really, but the scent is familiar and it makes Tony's insides clench and his legs feel weak. He hasn't responded like that in so long and the last time–

Tony's eyes widen when the realization hits. It's all processed in less than a second and his instincts surge to life inside him.

"A little birdie told me you aren't feeling well," Tony says coyly, leaning closer.

He gets more of that scent, spice and musk… Knows by the way Peter's lips quiver that he's catching his omega mother's scent at the same time. Peter's eyes dilate, the pupils expanding and eating up the brown of his irises. Brown eyes that he shares with his omega parent.

Does Peter even know what Tony's scent means?

If he's presenting today, the deeper notes in Tony's scents might still be a mystery. In that case, his body would be responding but Peter wouldn't know, consciously, why he's so aroused. Why Tony's scent is turning him on so much when just yesterday, his nose only registered comfort and security.

"I told Happy–" Peter groans, "Mom, I'm okay, I just need a minute."

Tony smirks but when he tries to nudge the door open, Peter holds it steady, a soft whine of, "Mama, p-please–"

He abruptly stops talking when Tony caresses his cheek, subtly posing his wrist right next to the boy's nose. He's feeding his presenting boy the scent of a viable omega. It's a dirty trick but he just wants to help and possibly ease his son's suffering.

"Baby, I can smell it," Ton says gently, "You're becoming a man… An alpha."

"Mama…" Peter groans, breathing the scent in with greedy lungfuls of breath.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Tony encourages his son to speak honestly.

Peter swallows, so unsure, but he whimpers when Tony continues stroking his cheek, soothing and arousing at the same time.

"It does," he admits, "but… but… I…"

Tony's poor baby is struggling.

"Do you want Mama to help, darling?" Tony coos to his son. "I can make the hurt go away."

"You can?" Peter looks at him with wide eyes, full of trust and innocence.

It makes Tony's heart beat so harshly against his chest. His body responds too, but he's already been dripping slick since he smelled his son's arousal. The scent of an alpha in entering a rut. It's even more potent for a first time presented. It's even more arousing that it's his baby boy, his sweet Peter.

"Open the door, baby," Tony encourages, "I'll help you feel better."

Peter's breathing escalates, his body practically vibrating with unspent energy. Tony can read all the signs and more slick drips out of him when he does.

His sweet Peter is going to be such an amazing, good alpha.

His son opens the door and Tony almost sinks to his knees right then and there. If he thought Peter's emerging scent affected him before, it sends his head spinning. It's intoxicating.

Alpha… alpha…

Tony breathes it in and takes a few seconds to acclimate himself. Then, belying the struggle he's feeling, Tony saunters into the room and promptly sits on his boy's bed, crossing his legs. It helps to hide the trembling and the urge he has to just lay back and offer himself as a rut toy for his son.

Peter, sensing the change in his omega mom, hesitates when he turns.

It's obvious why. His erection is tenting the soft pajama pants he has on and he's trying to hide it behind his hands. There's a light flush on Peter's cheeks, such a pretty pink that Tony wants to snuggle the boy close.

"Well," Tony smiles and it's a sultry thing, an expression that Peter's never had directed at him. It makes his son push out even more pheromones, trying to lure in the omega teasing him. "We're not gonna solve your problem with you all the way over there. Come closer, baby."

Peter does step closer then takes another until he's standing right in front of Tony. The omega gently eases his son's hands away.

"Need to see what I'm working with here, kid," Tony tells him.

Slowly, he tugs his boy's pajamas down, letting the fabric drag over the erect length. His son's flesh is uncovered, slowly, like a grand reveal and Tony's mouth fills with saliva with every inch he exposes. He guessed the size a bit, just from the outline, but that doesn't compare to what he sees.

Tony knows right away that Peter has a pretty cock. The flesh itself is flushed a gorgeous pink, just like the blush on his cheeks. The girth isn't something to scoff at. It looks like his presentation hit Peter like a truck, giving him all the tools needed to be an alpha stud despite still being Tony's baby boy.

The omega eyes the loose skin around the base. For a kid who hasn't popped his first knot, Tony can already tell Peter's knot will be massive. When the band of his pajamas finally slips over the tip, Tony's breath catches when the entire thing is freed. It's so hard that it springs up but the weight of it is too much to curve up against Peter's belly. His son's cock bobs in the air, all flushed and needy, drooling for his omega mama's touch.

Tony takes a moment to admire it. A soft sound catches his attention and he looks up to see Peter's embarrassed face. The blush has only deepened and the color has crept down Peter's neck and chest, disappearing beneath his shirt.

"You've grown to be such a big boy," Tony murmurs, rubbing circles on the hard jut of his hip.

"Mama…" Peter whispers, a tiny bit embarrassed. But there's a hint of pride there like he can't help being happy that Tony compliments him so.

"It's a good cock," Tony assures him, "You'll make plenty of omegas cry on this thing…"

Another soft embarrassed sound then his sweet son admits, "I don't… don't really want any other 'mega, mom…"

His son is such a sweet boy. Tony feels his heart twist because Peter's always been such a good boy, always thinking about his omega mama, always so sweet and kind. Some young omega will steal Tony's sweet boy away and that's… that's life.

Tony doesn't say such things though. They'll come in time. For now… He'll take what he can get and teach his son what he wants to know.

"What do you think…?" Tony says casually while he wraps his hand around Peter's cock. "Think you can hold out for me, kid? Or are you feeling sensitive…?"

He gets his answer as soon as he gives the firm cock a single stroke. It twitches wildly in his hand, drops of precome beading up quickly at the slit. It drips down the flushed head and just as quickly, another drop forms. It keeps going, fat cloudy drops that gather and overflow so that it drips steadily.

"I…" Peter whines, hiding his face behind his hands again. He peeks through his fingers, "I don't know…"

Tony tries to be gentle but his baby isn't too far from his first orgasm by another's hand.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Tony tells him as the boy shuffles closer. His hand works over Peter's erect cock, jerking him off with firm but quick strokes. "Let it out, little alpha… Let it out for mama…"

It doesn't take more than a few strokes before Peter's body grows taut. His cock twitches and pulses in Tony's grip, balls drawing up quick. Tony doesn't stop and soon, his son is bucking up his hips, soft gasps and a cut off "Mmph…!" before Peter spills all over Tony's hand.

The load his son releases is so much… 

"Fuck, baby," Tony says, astonished at the sheer amount of come, "you were really backed up, hmm? You should ask for mommy's help if you need it... Don't want my baby getting so frustrated…"

Tony milks it all out of Peter, massaging and encouraging the soft little baby knot at the base of his cock. He ignores the fact that his son's come makes a mess, some of it getting on his designer suit and dripping all over.

Peter slumps against him, sinking onto the bed. His head falls on Tony's shoulder and he buries his face against his Mama's arm.

"Isn't this wrong, mama…?" Peter asks softly.

In that quiet, whispered sentence, Tony hears all his boy's doubts and fears. Tony can't bear to have his kid upset, so he tips Peter's face towards his and gently, lovingly, kisses the boy on the lips.

Peter's brown eyes, so like his own, widen but he doesn't scramble back. If anything, he melts into it, hands twitching at his sides, wanting to touch but unsure of where to place them.

"I love you, baby," Tony tells him. Then he smiles a bit wryly, "You love me too, don't you…?"

For a second, Peter looks a bit offended at the question before he eagerly nods, replying, "Of course, I do, mom."

He nuzzles Tony's cheek then brushes his nose against his jaw and then his neck…

"You're perfect… my perfect mama…" Peter tells him, "I love you so much… There's no one I'd love more than you…"

Tony melts and tugs Peter down onto the bed with him. The young alpha curls up against his side while Tony kicks off his ruined pants. Since those are already gone, he strips off his suit jacket and the vest beneath. As he's unbuttoning his shirt, he feels curious fingers trace along his underwear.

He looks over his shoulder, raising a brow at his touchy feely son.

Peter gives his mama a shy smile, "It looks nice on you…"

Tony looks down, grinning at the hot red lace underwear he's wearing. He hasn't had an alpha in years but he still likes to feel sexy beneath his clothes. He's also glad he wore something nice since Peter seems to love it.

"Thank you, baby," Tony says leaning down and kissing the top of his head.

He leaves his shirt on but it's entirely unbuttoned. Tony is, perhaps, a bit eager but Peter certainly appreciates it. He tilts his face up, lips puckering a bit in expectation. Amused but not willing to turn down the request, Tony takes Peter's lips in another sweet kiss.

He's practically leaning over his son when he feels Peter's cock swelling against his thigh. The joys of having such an eager and young alpha…

Peter had just started getting into the kiss when Tony pulls away.

"Mama–" Peter protests but Tony shushes him with a finger to the lips. When his boy pouts, Tony takes his finger away and pecks him on the lips.

"There's no rush, sweetheart," he tells Peter, "But hmm… How about we make you a real alpha, hmm? Would you like that…?"

Peter's wide but eager eyes are answer enough and yet, he seems conflicted.

Tony reads him easily and kisses him softly.

"Still think it's wrong?" He raises a brow.

Peter's eyes are wide and even though he shakes his head rather enthusiastically, there's still that tiny bit of doubt that shadows his face.

He wraps an arm around the boy's shoulders and gently eases Peter down on top of him. His legs spread to accommodate his son, knees cradling the boy's hips.

Peter's cock presses between his legs, firm flesh poking and dragging along his clothed pussy. It makes Tony shiver in anticipation.

He reaches between their bodies, leading his son's cock where he wants it… The tip nestles against the fabric, precome wetting the lacy material.

"Pete… You're my baby," Tony says. Their eyes lock, alpha and omega, mother and son, as Tony teases him. He rubs against his son's cock, dragging the wet tip up and down along his slit. Even with his panties in the way, it's such an intimate feeling.

He nuzzles against the boy's cheek, purring, "Part of you should always be inside me… So, do it, baby, it's okay… Put your cock inside mommy."

He wants to do badly, Tony could see it. His eyes are hooded and his lip caught between his teeth. Tony only knows he's breathing because they're pressed close.

Peter's so close to getting his first taste of omega pussy.

"...What if I'm bad at it…?" Peter mumbles then, the last thing holding him back.

He can't take his eyes away from Tony though and the desire is there… Oh God, Tony hasn't felt this kind of mutual attraction in years. His baby alpha is just so eager but so worried about disappointing Tony… It's just so sweet, so typical of Peter.

"You're a Stark, aren't you?" Tony gently teases, "Being great is in your blood."

Then Tony smirks, a confident grin that trembles when he feels Peter's hips shift forward, seeking the warmth of his body.

"Besides…" Tony murmurs as he pulls Peter closer. "I'll teach you, baby… Don't worry…"

He squeezes the alpha's cock, stroking along heated flesh. It's dripping again, so much precome and fluid, his son's cock naturally providing lubrication so it could penetrate any tight hole.

Tony's pussy clenches, slick and wetness just dripping right out of him. This entire time, he's been so focused on Peter that he's been holding back his own wants. But this… He knows it's going to be amazing.

He's so wet and his own little omega cock is stiff and aching. It's nothing compared to how his insides clench in anticipation, eager to be split apart and seeded thoroughly.

Screw the fact that he hasn't bothered with birth control in years, there's always the after morning pill. Unless…

"You wanna be safe and use a condom, baby alpha…?" Tony asks. He hates it though, loves knowing his partner is bare inside him, but if his son wants it…

Peter looks torn and says forlornly, "Do I have to…? I haven't…"

"You really should but since it's your first time…" Tony gives in easily and then, pulling his panties aside, exposes the tight little hole of his pussy for penetration. He notches the wet tip right there and murmurs, "Push in a bit, Pete…"

His boy complies and oh… Tony groans at that initial stretch, his son's fat cock nudging its way inside…

"Mama…" Peter gasps, a strangled sound as he gets his first taste of Tony's omega pussy.

His hands fly down to Tony's hips, fingers clamping down. Once the tip is swallowed down, Peter's control frays and splinters, coming undone as his hips buck up. It's harsh and uncontrolled as the alpha tries to shove into Tony's tight body.

"Mama… mama .." Peter almost pleads but Tony's a bit distracted himself.

The omega is caught in the sensation of his pussy being split apart. In his younger days, sex was easy and he was used to it. It's been… years and Tony's definitely not used to it. His tight little pussy struggles to even take Peter's cockhead and Tony breathes through the stretch.

It's not unpleasant, it's just a lot… Especially with Peter trying to greedily fuck the rest of his length inside without giving Tony time to adjust.

"Mama… I can't… gotta…" Peter's words are incoherent babbling but actions speak louder than words. With a sob, Peter forces the rest of his cock inside his omega mother's pussy.

To Tony, it feels like the breath is punched out of him. He grips his son's broad shoulders and his entire body shudders, clenching down tight on Peter's cock.

It feels so good after the initial push that Tony's body goes limp. His son covers him, dark ravenous eyes staring down at him from above.

"It feels… so good…" Peter groans, eyes rolling back, and yet… he's staying so perfectly still like he can't move. Or refuses to.

Tony gazes up at his son with hooded eyes. His pussy clenches on the thick length, tiny little hole tight from lack of use. As he lays there panting, split open on his boy's cock, Tony has a feeling that he won't be left empty now that Peter's had a taste… He knows how alphas get and the look in Peter's eyes tell him the same thing.

There's this dazed look in Peter's eyes. His mouth trembles in pleasure and his entire body strains with the need to move.

"It's okay, baby," Tony encourages, wrapping his legs around the boy's waist. "C'mon, Pete… Move… I can take it… was made to take it…"

"Mama…"

It's breathed out like a prayer before Peter shudders. He squeezes his eyes shut but starts to move, hands clamped down bruisingly tight on Tony's hips as he chases after his own pleasure.

He fucks his mama with clumsy but eager thrusts. Tony welcomes every single one, moaning into his baby's ear and encouraging him with filthy words.

"Your cock feels so good, baby…" Tony says breathlessly. "Tilt your hips like– oh, fuck, yes… Like that, baby. Oh– yes, just like… that…"

Peter tries his very best to please Tony, but being so inexperienced, he can't help but come fast. He tries to warn his omega mommy but the words get caught in his throat.

"Mama…!" Peter shudders as he empties himself inside. 

He unloads with a groan, pushing deep inside and spilling so carelessly into his mother's unprotected womb. The body under his grows so tight that it steals his breath.

"You're knotting, Pete, oh… oh, fuck–" Tony groans when he feels his son's knot start to swell.

It happens quickly, the knot filling and rubbing against Tony's insides until it's too large to pull out. His son is lost in the pleasure, completely overwhelmed as he dumps a nice thick load inside.

The realization that he's knotting comes as a surprise even though Peter knows that it logically happens. His mama feels so impossibly tight around him and it's hard for him to formulate a thought, much less words.

Thoughts about pups and the dangers of unprotected sex don't even register to the rutting alpha. All he knows is the amazing feeling of his come rushing out of him and shooting out… The way it leaves his mama so wet, he could feel it… His come crowding around his sensitive cock as the knot keeps it all plugged inside.

Tony shivers when he feels his son's cock pulse inside him. His eyes slip closed for just a moment and he images it… Peter's alpha cock inside him, white spilling everywhere as his son breeds him.

He's not on birth control and the omega shudders at the terrible thought. His son knocking him up. His hand trembles as he pets Peter's back, fingertips grazing up and down as the young alpha continues to pant against his neck.

"Mama… I'm sorry…" Peter groans when he finally realizes what he's done, "I came inside…"

That dirty wrong feeling grows and his pussy clenches down, milking every drop from his son's cock.

"It's okay, baby," Tony tells him. He turns Peter's face towards his and kisses him to show he's not mad or upset. "I've always wanted to give you a little brother or sister…"

It's said mostly as a joke, as something to show Peter that he isn't mad about it. But then Tony feels Peter's cock twitch violently inside him and he wonders…

"You like that idea, baby…?" Tony says out loud, eyes searching his boy's face. "Like the idea of knocking up your omega mommy?"

The sound Peter makes would be embarrassing any other time but Tony finds the high pitched whine cute. It tells him how badly his baby wants it… Wants to knock his omega parent up.

Tony sighs, feeling deliriously happy that their desires are in sync. He's been holding back, worried that Peter would just want some practice… But now…

"Move your hips, Pete…" Tony instructs. "You got your omega caught on your knot… Gotta keep rutting… Even if it's sensitive… Keep– Oh…"

His son obeys and moves flawlessly, burying his face in Tony's neck. The knot holds true and Tony groans when he feels it tugging against his hole but it's… It's so good…

Peter's youthful enthusiasm comes through. Even though they're still tied, he fucks Tony relentlessly. The knot only allows him an inch or two to move but that's all he needs. His thrusts are harsh and deep as he ruts into Tony's pussy, churning up all that good potent come that he's deposited inside.

Then without instruction, Peter pulls up to his knees, his strong hands dragging Tony's lower body with him so that the knot doesn't get tugged too harshly. Tony's back arches to get that perfect angle and he's seeing stars when Peter starts to hammer inside him..

His son's loud pants and cries of "Mama…!" continue as fucks Tony stupid in his childhood bed. Tony doesn't even need a hand on his own stiff little cock before he's spilling all over his stomach, clear useless drops of omega come spurting out. Peter continues to fuck him, rutting wildly in a way only newly presented alphas can.

Distantly, Tony realizes that the knot has softened… But then Peter whimpers, unhappy when his sensitive little knot slips out and is followed by a flood of his come.

"Baby–" Tony groans but Peter turns him onto his stomach before he shoves back in.

"Again," Peter growls. His cock spears right in, fucking into the sloppy wet insides of Tony's pussy. Then he murmurs, as though apologetic for his tone, "Please, mama… I need it… need mommy's pussy…"

Tony groans, pushing up onto his knees.

"Go on, P-Pete," he allows it, his entire body shaking from the force. "Go ahead, baby… Take what you n-need…"

"Thank you," Peter groans, "Thank you… It's so good, mama… So good… Wanna come inside again… Gonna do it… Gonna come inside mommy's pussy… Get every drop..."

"Do it, baby," Tony urges. "you can, you can… Come inside…"

It becomes clear that Peter isn't thinking of making it good for Tony, not when his thrusts are so rough and uncontrolled. He's just chasing after his own pleasure, hips rabbiting against Tony's ass as he roughly fucks in and out. 

He's utilizing his strength, his speed… His youth that allows him to keep him. His cock is just a blur of motion with how fast he's fucking in and out. It feels too good to stop...

Tony can only imagine just how pink his ass and thighs are from how harshly Peter's fucking him. The sloppy wet sounds make it all the worse… There's come dripping down his thighs, come being fucked back into him, come ruining the sheets beneath them…

Alphas come so much and Tony's son wasn't an exception.

Tony can feel his son's knot again. The initial knotting happened so quickly and Peter had settled deep in his body when it happened.

Being fucked like this… Even while the knot's too small, he can feel it. It pops in and out, pushing and pulling against his hole and it's a sensation unlike any other. 

Tony feels every tug as it grows and grows. He relishes the sensation, knows when his son is ready by the way the thrusts shorten… It's Peter using his freshly fucked hole… Using Tony's body to stimulate the knot so he can come again.

Unrefined and unused to sex, Peter doesn't realize that he's let the knot grows too big until he tries to push in and it's– It's too big.

Tony wouldn't let any other alpha do this, but it's his son and he wants Peter to just enjoy it. H wee can handle a bit of pain, he tells himself.

"D-do it," Tony groans and has a second to brace himself when Peter complies. He pulls back so that the very tip is settled against his opening then he shoves in with a snap of his hips.

Peter grunts while Tony whines, the knot being forcefully shoved in. Another load is deposited and he feels the way Peter spurts inside him, that thick alpha cock pumping away load after load… Trying it's best to fill him up so he gets knocked up.

Tony lays there flat on his stomach, his son pressing him down as Peter purrs, content and satisfied after coming inside twice.

The rut is in no way over but there's some downtime.

Tony grunts as he tries to nudge Peter onto his side. His boy is affectionate and acts touch starved like he can't get enough. He runs his hands over the omega's sweat damp body.

"Can we do it again…?" Peter asks, kissing the back of Tony's neck. His knot is probably ten minutes away from softening and he already wants to fuck his omega mommy.

"As many times as you want, kiddo," Tony says despite wondering if he'll survive his son's rut. "Do you wanna try my ass…? You might like it better."

Peter goes quiet for a moment but Tony doesn't notice. He's too caught up in the afterglow, relaxing in his son's arms as he considers taking the next few days off.

He shivers when Peter's fingers slip between his legs. It's a curious touch, exploring Tony's body in a way he's never had a chance to.

Tony remembers being that young and curious so he lays there, humming whenever a particular touch feels good. Peter's hands on him are almost reverent and it's so feather light when he skims over his omega cock.

Those same fingers skip south, so hesitant, as though Tony would scold him at any moment. They grow a bit more confident when he doesn't, but to Tony's surprise, Peter just rubs around the swollen flesh where his knot is locked.

"Wanna keep doing it here…" Peter murmurs, "If I can… If mama lets me… Wanna keep doing it here…"

Maybe it's not all talk, Tony thinks when Peter mouths against his neck. Tony tilts his head, sighing in pleasure when the alpha runs his tongue over the sensitive skin there.

His natural inclination is to tease the boy with his new obsession but instead, Tony trembles in excitement. He presses his hand over his alpha son's curious fingers.

"Okay, baby," Tony permits, "Mama will let you do it."

----

He should've remembered that his son was very much like him. If he had, Tony may have thought twice about giving Peter free reign over his body.

Paired with a newly presented alpha's determination to breed, Tony finds himself in quite a predicament.

He's not as young as he used to be and he realizes this when Peter shows himself to be quite insatiable. Peter doesn't even bat an eye after going three rounds. 

It helps that those rounds are short. The kid has a crazy amount of stamina in the sense that he can keep going and going and going… But he doesn't last very long during those times. At least, not yet. Peter has plenty of time to build up his experience and by the fifth time, the sensitivity had dulled so he lasts a bit longer.

The rut is harsh and demanding. Tony feels every thrust, every desperate attempt to knock him up. The amount of seed that Peter spills inside him in obscene and so much of it spills from Tony's leaking hole when the knot softens and his son pulls out.

No matter how much is wasted against the sheets, Tony knows there's more than enough left inside him. He wonders if it'll kickstart his own cycle but the thought is a fleeting one. Peter consumes all his time and attention.

It's a fuck fest. A marathon. A full blown alpha rut. And rutting alphas only have one thing on their mind. Fucking and breeding an omega.

Lucky Tony, he's the one who volunteered and gave permission. He loves his son, how could he not?

Tony doesn't regret it, not even when he feels like he's full to bursting. He marvels at the noticeable bulge Peter's come has given him, but this… Letting Peter run wild, it isn't sustainable. Tony would become an incoherent mess, fucked out and his son would probably still rut him, still keep fucking him until the urges were sated.

The omega switches tactics.

In the shower, he redirects the alpha cock to his ass instead of his sore pussy. Peter whines at the change, wanting another chance at his pussy but Tony is firm.

The thought is forgotten either way when he feels Tony's insides grip his relentless cock. It's a different kind of heat, but it's still Tony, still his mama gripping him tightly. He hammers in with stuttering breaths and gasps that echo in the shower stall.

Peter takes control. He pushes his omega mama against the slick shower tiles and fucks his ass with rough jerks of his hips. To his rut crazed mind, a hole is a hole and he's already dumped several loads in his omega's pussy. He could enjoy this for now...

The newly presented alpha finds he's as enamored with Tony's ass as he is with his pussy. The water washes away what they've done but It doesn't lessen Peter's urge to breed his own omega parent.

Unsurprisingly, the next attempt is shortly after.

One moment, Tony's reaching for something in the bathroom cabinet, the next, he's bent over the counter. His son grips his hips and a nice thick cock slides inside him. By now it's familiar and even though it aches, Tony grips the counter. His back arches into an enticing curve and it shakes with every harsh thrust.

All efforts at cleanliness are ruined when Peter comes inside him again. His fist is wrapped around his knot, preventing it from slipping in and at the last second, he pulls out. Warmth spurts of semen spill over Tony's ass and his lower back and even the omega feels his face grow warm at the claim.

The next two days pass in a blur.

Tony's meetings are canceled and Peter's first rut absence is accepted by his teacher.

His instincts run wild and Tony indulges him, taking the role of a mate and letting the alpha sate his urges in any of his holes.

And when the rut ends…

They're both exhausted and utilize the hot tub to soothe their sore muscles.

What occurred between them doesn't end when Peter's rut finally ebbs away. That's made clear when Tony slips into his son's lap, groaning in part pain and mostly pleasure when Peter's cock stretches him full once more.

They haven't used a condom once during the entirety of Peter's rut. It's not surprising to Tony when weeks later, a pregnancy test proves that he's carrying.

He wasn't even in heat when Peter knocked him up.

Tony takes his son out to dinner and surprises him with the news.

"Pregnant?" Peter's eyes grow wide with disbelief, "but you weren't even in heat, mama…"

Tony pecks him on the cheek.

"That's right, kid," Tony says with a proud smile, "Who knew that my Peter was such a stud? Knocking up his mama out of cycle."

He winks at the abashed alpha but there's a glow that sparks inside his son. Pride. Happiness. A mix of the two.

He touches Tony's flat tummy through the suit.

"I'm going to have a little brother or sister," Peter says in awe.

"A son or daughter," Tony adds. "It is your pup."

"It's my pup…" Peter echos, a bit dazed. "Mama…"

"Maybe you should start calling me Tony," the omega encourages but Peter's lips pucker a bit at the thought.

"You'll always be my mama though," he protests.

It makes Tony smile and he pats his son's hand.

"Aren't I your mate now too?" Tony teased, "Or are you going to leave your poor mom to do all the baby stuff?"

Of course, that brings so many protests and stuttering denials that Tony has to admit he was joking. He soothes his son and tells him, "You'll be a great daddy, Pete."

The alpha is in a daze for the rest of the dinner. There's a goofy but endearing smile on his face and he treats Tony with so much care and gentleness.

Tony makes sure to put an end to that. He's newly pregnant and his libido shoots up. There's no room for gentle, not now, and he convinces Peter of this in the car ride home.

The alpha doesn't need much convincing. Knocking up his omega mommy does things to his head, strokes his alpha ego to new heights and he wants Tony now more than ever. Wants to fuck him again, to remember just exactly how he impregnated his mommy.

Happy is the unfortunate victim as the limo driver but the partition, at least, gives them some privacy.

Tony rides Peter in the car, legs straining as he bounces up and down on that thick, wonderful alpha cock that got him pregnant. His son's cock. Peter holds him steady and one hand rests possessively over the non-existent bump.

Even if there's no physical evidence there yet, they both know there'll be a new Stark in under a year.

Peter begs Tony to let him do it again. He wants to breed his mommy after they have their first child. He doesn't want to stop putting his babies in Tony's tummy and Tony has half a mind to indulge him.

Instead, he kisses Peter oh so sweetly and teases him with a, "We'll see, baby. Maybe if you keep your grades up, hmm?"

Peter maintains a 4.0 GPA in his studies which isn't surprising given the fact that he's a Stark. The incentive was the main driving force though. He has an omega mate and his mama, all in one and while Tony still isn't allowed to touch a pan in the kitchen, he takes care of the alpha's other needs.

The omega's body starts to fill out, becoming softer and readying itself for motherhood. Tony laments at the loss of his trim and fit figure once the suits no longer fit, but every time he looks in the mirror, he's reminded.

He's carrying his son's baby. Inside his belly, there was a tiny bit of Peter and himself.

They talk about it and wonder. Would the baby be a girl or boy? Alpha? Omega? Beta? They didn't care what designation the baby came out with or what was between their legs. The baby was Peter's and Tony's and that's all that mattered.

Instead, they debate about what the baby would have from each parent. Peter's soft brown hair? Or Tony's darker thick hair? Peter's paler skin tone or Tony's Tanner complexion?

Regardless, they both already loved their little peanut.

The weeks pass and people take notice.  It's obvious to anyone with a nose, but the betas have put two and two together. They see Tony's tummy start to swell even more and  there's something soft and beautiful about Tony like this.

Peter is in love with the changes..

He worships his mama's body with kisses and words of adoration which Tony decides, makes up for the changes.

Every night and morning, he runs his hands all over every inch of his mama's body. He presses his ear to the now noticable baby bump and speaks quietly to their little Peanut.

"I did this…" Peter smiles when he caresses the  baby bump.

"Scoundrel," Tony quips, "This isn't how I raised you!" He drops the act and sighs when Peter nuzzles his chest.

His chest has changed, growing softer along with the rest of his body. It's natural and he knew it was coming. It had happened when he was pregnant with Peter.

"How big did you get when you had me?" Peter wonders as he nuzzles against Tony's soft chest.

He tweaks a nipple gently, knowing his mama's been complaining about soreness. 

"Not too big," Tony admits, "Maybe a handful? There's a couple of photoshoots I did at the time."

Peter has already seen them. His mama looked breathtaking in them. The photographers had played up the more feminine aspect of omegas, dressing Tony in ballroom gowns and long flowy pieces that showed off his modest chest. 

Simply… breathtaking.

He still likes to hear it from Tony. How big they grow is really genetics. Tony himself never grew that large when he was pregnant with Peter.

Tony massages his aching chest, pressing fingertips down lightly around the tissue. He notices Peter's watchful eyes and smiles.

"This isn't my first time," Tony reminds him, "And I've gone into milk before, even before I got pregnant."

That's something Peter hadn't been aware of.

Omegas can produce milk even outside of pregnancy, Peter knows. He just didn't know that Tony has tried it at some point.

"You did?"

"Mhmm," Tony says a bit proudly. "Takes some training but omegas can do it as long as there's someone that wants it."

The comment sticks in Peter's head… His mama making milk for… a boyfriend? An alpha friend? He takes over massaging Tony's chest and the omega lets him, melting against the bed and pillows he's propped upon.

"Would it be okay…" Peter murmurs, "if I…?"

A slow, teasing smile curls the corner of Tony's lips.

"You want a taste, little alpha?" Tony says outright.

Peter blushes but nods. "As long as it doesn't take away from peanut."

Tony waves a hand then features Peter to come closer. "Peanut will be fine. Our bodies adapt if there's a demand for more and…"

There's a twinkle in Tony's eye.

"Maybe you can help me out?" Tony purrs.

The mood shifts and Peter, after becoming intimately aware of his mama's increased libido, grows excited from the tone.

He curls up against Tony's side, one hand still massaging his chest. It goes from clinical to sensual, Peter's fingertips sweeping over sensitive skin.

"Anything, mama," Peter murmurs.

Tony turn Peter's face so he's nuzzling against the soft swell of his chest. "The more stimulation these get, the faster I'll come into milk. Help an O out, will you?"

Peter happily does so. He licks and sucks with his mouth while his hand massages the omega's chest. Tony hisses at the sensation, fingers curling into his son's soft hair.

There isn't any milk that day, but he's sure that it'll come soon.

Sex grows more difficult when Tony's belly grows but they're both determined. More often, they fuck with Tony on his side and Peter against back. It's the perfect position to let Peter touch his belly as he's fucking in and out of Tony's pussy. He still knots, still releases his come inside even though it serves no purpose for now.

Peter takes to his new task with great enthusiasm. He's always been an affection boy but now, he touches Tony freely like it's his right. Like he's Tony's alpha and mate.

His new favorite position is side to side while facing each other. He likes to suck on Tony's nipples, loves feeling Tony's swollen belly press against his body. It's the best feeling in the world and Tony can't deny that he enjoys it greatly, as well.

It's during one specific session that Peter finally gets a taste of his mama.

It's slow and gentle, Peter being more cautious the larger Tony's belly grows. He pushes in and out in a leisurely rhythm, his thick alpha cock already slick with his previous load. His stamina has grown and he's learned so, so much that he's even a bit cocky about it. He knows how to make Tony moan, how to tease the omega. Knows how to make him shiver with just a few words.

Beyond that, he knows what his mama looks like spent and fucked out. He's memorized the curve of his lips when he's gasping, learned every sensitive spot that has Tony clenching the sheets between his fingers.

He sucks in Tony's sensitive nipple, nursing like he once did when he was a small pup. There's a burst of sweetness that spills across his tongue. It surprises him so much that he pulls back, milky drops slipping from his lips.

There's a lingering sweetness in his mouth and it evokes a feeling in him. He was too young to remember nursing from his mama but it's still there, this feeling of safety and love.

Peter licks up the drops and purrs, pressing even closer to take the omega's nipple back into his mouth.

Tony groans when he feels the milk let out, eyes turned into slits while he's watching Peter lick it up. He feels the suction and it brings such sweet pleasure to him, it makes his back arch a bit. His grip tightens in Peter's hair and they continue that way.

Peter's mouth on his nipple, the milk continues to flow steadily with every suck. At the same time, Tony's pussy squeezes around his son's cock, massaging, and begging for another knot.

"Mama…" Peter groans when there's no more left. "It's so sweet… Mama's milk… I want more…"

He then switches to the other nipple, leaning up a bit to get to it.

His mouth latches onto Tony's nipple, eyes slipped closed as he focused on how sweet his Mama's milk his. He almost feels jealous that his little pup would get this for however long.

Tony drifts in a haze of pleasure but his hips hitch needily. Maybe with some training, he could come from just Peter nursing on him, but for now, he wants to get fucked.

"Baby," Tony groans, "C'mon, do it… how I like."

Peter looks up and pull off, leaving the nipple wet from his mouth and peaked in the cool air. The alpha notes the way Tony's eyes are hooded and his mouth is gasping, wanting.

"Love you, mama…" Peter tells him before he starts to hasten his thrusts.

"Love you–Oh!" Tony moans, tossing his head back. "Ah, that's perfect… Perfect…"

A glance down and Peter's eyes rest on Tony's chest, his nipples firm and puffy from the alpha's mouth. A single drop of cloudy milk drips from one nipple and Peter chases it as it slips down Tony's chest. He licks it up with his tongue, running the flat of it up so that he can take it back into his mouth.

Judging by the way the omega moans, Tony approves of it. His fingers curl in Peter's hair again as the alpha fucks him.

Tony floats on a haze of pleasure as Peter fucks him. He can feel the knot– His son has gotten good at holding it back but with his first sample of omega milk, it's like Peter has lost his inhibitions. His hips fuck forward as he sucks and sucks, greedily drinking from Tony.

The knot grows and grows, slipping inside at the very last second. Peter licks up the very last drops while his cock spurts inside his mama.

And like a good boy, he shares the sweetness with Tony, kissing him deeply.

"How was it, baby?" Tony murmurs when they're knotted.

"Mama tastes so sweet," Peter replies, nosing against his neck. "Was it good…?"

Tony kisses the top of his head.

"It was perfect, Pete," Tony tells him. "My perfect little alpha."

----

Tony has to buy new clothes.

His belly grows even larger and his chest is bigger than when he was pregnant with Peter.

"F-Fuck–!" Tony grunts while Peter fucks into him from behind.

He had been making something simple for breakfast. His instincts demanded to, feed and do all this domestic shit that Tony never cared for, so he tried pancakes. It should've been easy but Peter had come down and seeing his mama trying to cook for him had really turned him on.

Or maybe it's just an excuse to walk up behind Tony, pull his pants down, and slip right into his wet pussy.

The stove is off now and the pancake mix barely has barely cooked, but it's all ignored anyway. Peter just fucks and fucks, eager and hungry for something other than food.

He, at least has the decency to avoid knotting but then Tony's left with a steady deluge of come dripping down his thighs.

"You're gonna be late for class," Tony pokes Peter when the alpha pulls his pants up. "Late and hungry."

Peter gently turns him and nuzzles against his chest, squeezing them gently.

There's a suggestion in his eyes and Tony sighs, giving in. He leans back against the counter and Peter swoops in, tugging his Mama's shirt off before taking a nipple into his mouth.

"How did I raise such a smart ass," Tony wonders but there's a fondness in his tone.

Such encounters only become even more frequent. Peter ambushes him in the shower, in the tub… He has no shame in showing off his pregnant mama and no shame in asking Tony for milk right after school.

And it's become such a routine that Peter has Tony on his cock shortly after.

"These are you fault," Tony says when he models a new maternity bra.

They've grown a size larger and while it's still no where close to what beta women would have, they've become fairly large for an omega male.

Peter only hums, stepping up and testing the new bra to see how easy feeding would be. It's easy access and they have another round right there in the dressing room. Outsides turn a blind eye to it.

It's the Starks, after all.

Tony finally gives birth the next month. They hadn't asked for the gender, wanting it to be a surprise.

Peanut turns out to be a sweet faced little alpha girl and already, she takes after her mama. She has dark hair and an inquisitive gaze. She has Peter's mischievous nature, however.

Morgan had been hiding her alpha brother who surprised them all when he was delivered with an indignant wail. Soft brown curls and wide eyes, this one was the spitting image of Peter.

Peter had been wide eyed, staring at the two new Starks. His two pups. Their pups, his and his mama's.

"Overachiever," Tony teased him, "Not one, but two pups. What am I gonna do with you, Pete."

"Ah…" Peter chuckled, "My calc teacher told me I aced the final?"

"Of course, you did," Tony laughs, then gently hands over their youngest to Peter's arms.

He kisses Peter's cheek and whispers, "Congrats, alpha. On the exam and becoming a daddy."

#starker #starkerbingo2019 #madstarker writes #NFF #Alpha Peter #omega tony #mommy kink #moody mads #mpreg #omegaverse

[tiny-space-robot]

Okay so Fire Emblem anon here!! Here's a Kinda Super Long Bc I Got Carried Away description of a few Fire Emblem games, plus some characters that seem like they hit tropes you like!

The good news is that there's not a super huge overarching timeline, there's several smaller timelines that are seperate from one another except for the crossover games. I'm gonna go with describing the newer ones that you're most likely to be able to get your hands on and play; a lot of people complain that they lean into some anime-tropey stuff and are too easy, but tbh, that's a perk just as often as it isn't. Basically, it's Game of Thrones, but rated T and with more cute girls and old men who are friendly instead of creepy.

Tbh, it's a turn-based strategy game with visual novel elements for characterization, if strategy games aren't your thing and you're just interested in the characters, watching the support conversations on Youtube might be more your thing. All the characterization, none of the resetting the same goshdang level thirty times. Anyways, description of the games in passing, including a brief description of the plot concept, pros and cons, trigger warnings, and some characters you might be interested in if you're just looking up characters.

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Awakening: for the 3DS. Follows Robin, an amnesiac mage, after they're found in a field by a band of knights called the Shepherds. Involves the undead, a twink in a mask, timey-wimey shenangians, and the usual cast of oddballs you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game.

Pros of Awakening: customizable player character, intro of Casual mode (turns off permadeath) and the Pair Up system, which lets you put characters together for shipping reasons strategy and stat boosts. Also doubles as a shipping simulator, since you can pair off characters and meet their later in the game due to said timey-wimey shenangians.

Cons of Awakening: there are some....very concerning combos of names/skin tones/plot relevance for certain characters, so go in with a warning about implicit racism. Also if you like strategy games, this game is relatively easy to break and make "too easy," but tbh that's what Lunatic Mode (the Ultra Unfair Hard Mode) is for.

Trigger warnings across the main plot: underhanded politics, attempted assassinations, martyrdom, an optional character is implied to stalk Robin but idk how to tag that, identity crises, conflicts within a family, character who isn't you looks like you, backstory child abuse, an optional character is a bad portrayal of DID if you squint?

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Fates: is actually a group name for two games set in the same universe, and a DLC bonus story: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. All for the 3DS. All three games star Corrin, a pacifist raised in seclusion in the kingdom of Nohr. Each game reflects a different path Corrin can take in navigating the war between the nations of Nohr and Hoshido: Birthright has them stand with Hoshido, Conquest with Nohr, and Revelations has them strike out (nearly) alone. Each path has a completely different storyline, cast of characters, and difficulty curve.

Pros of Fates: honestly, the characters here cater the most to the avid pro-shipper and multi-shipper. I just love this cast. Both Nohr and Hoshido have four members of the royal family you can play and get to know, each of those royal family members has two retainers who are various levels of dedicated and/or unhinged, and the cast just widens and widens. Also a character customization and shipping simulator point for the same reasons Awakening gets it. Also, canon fujoshi rights (there's a character with a skill called Daydream, which boosts her stats when two male characters are paired up near her. one of us, one of us). Also the first game with canon queer characters: both Rhajat and Niles are bi.

Cons of Fates: unfortunately, the writing is kinda rushed or badly translated in some places. Also *shakes IntSys* my lore! Give me more lore! Also, iirc, you could get both physical games in a bundle for a discount when they came out, but not anymore, so it's sorta like Pokemon with version exclusives. Which is less fun, since you can't directly trade characters. Also the fandom for this game is RIFE with discourse, which is kinda sad bc I just wanna talk my ships with ppl sjxhdjdn

Trigger warnings for Fates: child abuse might as well be Nohr's middle name, in-universe racism (since Hoshido is p obviously Japan-inspired, and a lot of Nohrians are rancid to Hoshidans), kidnapping, on-screen murder, lots of fighting your loved ones (on both main routes, you gotta fight the playable characters from the other side AAA), su-c-de, death of sibling(s) in certain routes, demonic-like possession, there's like six characters people can read as bad mental illness rep, Niles especially is discourse bait for being a kinky (yes that's canon) bi man of color but also he's awesome so die mad antis

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Shadows of Valentia: for the 3DS. A remake of Gaiden, the second game in the series. Follows Alm, a farm boy from a small village in Zofia, and Celica, his childhood best friend. Zofia and the nation to its north, Rigel, are two nations ruled by the dragon gods Mila and Duma, respectively. Normally, they're in equilibrium, but Rigel is invading and Mila is missing, prompting Alm and Celica to independently investigate the problem.

Pros of SoV: the most like the old-school Fire Emblem games, but it also has the permadeath-off mode. also the first to be fully voice acted! The art style is gorgeous, and the plot was polished up from the old game--two characters names Berkut and Rinea were added, and they are PEAK OTP the diskhorse can die mad. Also the cast is pretty fun all around, from buddy squad and the older brother/dad figure they adopted along the way to "hello this is my gang of childhood friends, we're gonna kill a god" Also introduces Mila's Turnwheel, which lets you rewind your moves if you realize you goofed big time and screwed yourself over.

Cons of SoV: has the most references to other games, but you won't, like, be lost if you don't get them. You just might have a few interludes of "who tf is Camus/the White Wing Brigade/etc" but it's easy enough to look up on the wiki. Also tbh, the plot kinda drags in the middle, there's some filler battles to try and make it feel more realistic and it feels...weird. Also no custom character, you are Alm and Celica and you will Like It.

Trigger warnings for SoV: you know that thing where a girl character gets killed off for a guy character to angst over? the game starts with a fakeout version of that. also a character slowly goes mad over the course of the plot (but it's really well done imo?), there's some self-sacrifice stuff in there, classism is a major theme, possession/selling your soul™, there's a couple of levels where you're exploring tombs/prisons, I'm sure there's something else but I'm forgetting right now

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Three Houses: on the Switch. The newest game in the series, and the most polished imo? Stars Byleth, a wandering mercenary turned teacher at the Officer's Academy. The Academy, housed in Garreg Mach Monastery, teaches youths from across the land of Fodlan how to be warriors, commanders, and knights. Students are sorted into three houses based on their country of origin: the Black Eagles are from ghe Adrestian Empire, led by the heiress-apparent Edelgard; the Blue Lions are from the kingdom of Faerghus, led by prince Dimitri; and the Golden Deer are from the Leicester Alliance, led by Claude, grandson of the Duke. You choose one of these houses to lead, and then everything quickly goes sour.

Pros of Three Houses: It's such a rich experience! The music is incredible, there's so much lore, and you can wander around the Monastery and hang out with the students to your heart's content. Also, it's four storylines for the price of one, even if they're all relatively similar in the first half. It does a pretty solid job of weaving together its themes into a satisfying narrative that will make you consider everyone involved. Also we got our first bi main lord (Edelgard) and non-white main lord (Claude is mixed race) in one fell swoop! Also, given the setting, it's teacher/student ship heaven.

Cons of Three Houses: just gonna come right out and say it: one of the villainous factions in the game is pretty substantially tied up with some anti-semitic tropes. There's no way to ignore it, it's just bleh, and I'm not gonna send anyone in without that warning. Also, though there's some characters you can persuade to switch sides, or spare, there's no route where there's a happy ending for everyone. Also there are so many people who are fake deep about the themes of the game, so be ready for the worst takes imaginable about your faves. also super trigger heavy, see below.

Trigger warnings: MANY. Garreg Mach and the Church of Seiros are very reminiscent of catholic religious stuff, for anyone with religion triggers, blood in cutscenes, death of a parent, death of a sibling (different characters), major gaslighting vibes in some places, lots of people going unhinged, some white savior™ vibes in places, body horror, creepy ass weaponry, backstory genoc-de (mostly not related to the anti-semitism), blood magic (definitely related to the anti-semitism), in general it goes to a lot more effort than the other games to make you think about what's Actually going on, even if it doesn't always work.

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As for characters you'd like, if you just want to look some characters up, my recommendations based on what I understand about you include:

Awakening: Libra fits 'gnc man of the cloth' so well it's actually a conversation in game: "so what's a woman of the cloth doing here?" "...man, sir, man of the cloth." And Then He Never Gets Misgendered Again. Also Nowi's supports sometimes feel like a jab at antis-- she's a manakete, a person who can transform into a dragon. Manaketes also grow really slowly, as in "middle aged looking manaketes are like 1000 years old," so she's got major baby face and copes with being mistaken for a teenager by making jokes. Also Gregor, who she first appears with, is pretty fun--older mercenary with a thick accent who is like 80% here for a good time. Also Walhart, who's a villain but got some content added as DLC.

Fates: any interactions between Corrin, Leo, and/or Camilla are probably right up your alley--Camilla is obsessively protective over her siblings in a way that's Very Definitely Platonic™, and Leo also canonically has a crush on her in something that was cut in the English release. Also Gunther--once upon a time he was your classic knight in shining armor, now he's semi-retired, Corrin's personal guard, and covered in scars (and his voice is gorgeous too)

Echoes: my biased answer is to listen to every single line Ian Sinclair read for Berkut because he absolutely did NOT have to go that hard. My actual answer is to point you in the direction of the pegasus sisters Catria, Palla and Est, or maybe the older gentleman who's the head of the Priory, I forgot his name oops abbdbd. Also Clive is a devoted husband to one Mathilda, who looks just like an older version of his sister Clair 🤔

Three Houses: knowing you, you'd adore Hanneman--an older professor who's extremely passionate about his work, to the point where he tends to forget personal space and such. Also Seteth, like I mentioned before (join me in simping for him and his gorgeous pecs) and like, honestly, I know ppl make jokes about Alois but he's rlly good. Soft, awkward but he doesn't care, dad jokes everywhere. And also Mercedes, both because she's the biggest sweetheart imaginable and everyone should love her, but also bc she is just walking potential for the kinds of stuff you post on this blog. On one hand, she's the oldest student at the Academy and attached at the hip to one of the youngest, Annette (tho people act like they have a way bigger age gap then they actually do) and on the other hand, she has a long-lost half brother she can encounter (who I will not name for HUGE HUGE spoilers reasons) who she spends the rest of her life with in one of her endings. Heck, he has three possible endings total! Total!

Basically I brought the games up bc I'm used to being on the side of the fandom where everyone shoos anything uncomfortable under the rug, but there's so much material here that's being wasted I SWEAR

If you have any other questions I can send another anon? Your call! Thanks for hearing me out I love ur blog :3

OKAY!!! sorry for answering so late, but this ask was pretty much a BOOK (not that I´m complaining though! thank you so much! ;;u;;)

and from what I read here, I THINK if I´m going off on my first fire emblem adventure, I´ll try and pick up three houses if I get the chance! I have read your trigger warnings (thank you so much! ;u;) and I think I can take it! >:3

again though, I am really, really not a fan of anime and the anime artstyle in general (blergh! XP) so I´m not sure how I´ll cope with that in particular, but then again, an artstyle does not make a game! u3u

AND HANNEMAN SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME!! I looked him up and OOOF!!! he may not have NEARLY as many wrinkles as I´d like him to have, but the facial hair is definitely a step in the right direction! ;3c

NOW YOU GOT ME INTERESTED!! 

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[howtomommy]

Hi there.

Everyone always says "parenting isn't easy. It doesn't come with a manual." And while that is definitely true, it shouldn't have to be so damn hard either.

I feel like as new parents we come in COMPLETELY unprepared. Like, no one tells us what reeealllyyy to expect. You can want kids for 10 years, save up a bunch of money, have your own home and a good job, read every parenting book under the sun and still end up hiding in the bathroom eating icecream out of the tub with a spoon and a bottle of wine asking yourself what the heck you did to deserve the punishment that is the terrible twos. And that is entirely okay and completely normal. There is so much mom guilt out there these days. Parent shaming in general has been normalized to such a degree that it's sickening. Some times I just want to shake the stuck up moms who lecture other moms for silly reasons and say "what are you doing?! Who are you to judge?!"

I started out motherhood as a teen mom with absolutely no idea what I was doing, no help and a false sense of "I got this" attitude. My son put me through the ringer too. Between me being young, having undiagnosed mental health issues (PTSD, anxiety, depression and now possibly also ADHD) my son having ADHD, behavioral issues and me not having a proper support system through most of my time as a single mother, I had a rough start as a mother. I wasn't always what you'd consider a "good mom" either. I raised my voiced at my son too much, I spanked more than I should've needed too, I didn't know how to be creative with my discipline, I didn't use reward systems as much as I should've.. and my biggest regret? I didnt hug my son and tell him I loved him nearly enough when he was little.

I was so caught up in how hard things were I forgot to enjoy the great parts of being a mother. I didn't know how to ask for help. I did my absolute best at the time. I worked hard for my son, I lost jobs trying to help the schools control his unruly behavior. At one point I even took up odd house cleaning jobs and carried my cleaning supplies around in a cart on wheels because I don't drive just so I could set my own hours. I did that so I could sit in the school all day outside the office incase the teachers needed me to back them up if my son had a melt down. That boy was a lot of work a few years ago. Some days even now he can be a lot of work. But if you had told me that he would go from getting kicked out of daycare and schools because of his violent outbursts to being a wonderful young man who does chores, helps care for his little sister, loves and helps care for the pets in the house, works hard in school to get good grades and is one of the most polite kids I know.. nah, 4 years ago I never would have believed you.

I look back now and I am so proud. Not just of him and his amazing progress but myself as well. I grew up with him. He became responsible, aware of his emotions and how to control them, more honest and open and just more patient and kind in general. I became more patient and creative in how I parent and I learned how I should've been communicating with him in the first place. All this is stuff, I can go into in this blog. How it's okay to not be perfect, how to improve yourself so you can be better and stronger for your kids, how to work with your kids in ways they will better respond to and understand and best of all? Hopefully I can help you to not feel so alone. You're not alone. Even if it feels that way. I am not a professional. I am not a doctor or pediatrician. I haven't gone to school for child psychology and I'm not a sleep consultant or dietician. What I am though? Is experienced. I've lived this crap. I have made my mistakes so you don't have to. I won't judge you for the mistakes you've made and I am here for no other reason than to help those who feel the way I felt in the beginning. I don't want anyone to feel the way I felt. Scared, unsure, alone and quite frankly ashamed of myself for not being a good enough mom. I know now I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time but it took me years to figure that out. So, now you have an idea of why we are here, stay tuned. We're going to talk about how we can be the best parent versions of ourselves and surprise! It starts with you.

#mommylife #parenting #momslife #how to succeed #it gets better #mom blog #parenting blog #new tumblog #new tumblr #domestic life

[lousimusician]

Cheater -- Part 2

Pairing: Mob!Tom x Reader

Warning: Sexual harassment, violence

A/N: I wanted to get this out sooner but I've been so busy recently. So sorry for the wait

______

It had been three months since you caught Tom. Three months since you walked out on him forever.

You hadn't seen him since that day. You had been relying on Tom's money for so long, you had to stay over a friend's house until you made enough money to rent an apartment.

It had been hard, but you refused to go back to him. Leaving him had its perks. You didn't have to live in fear for his or your own life anymore, you got to focus on your education, and you got to fix old friendships you lost. Overall, you felt like a normal person for once.

But at the same time, you were in so much pain. The two of you were engaged. You were supposed to get married. You loved him, you didn't believe you could ever love someone that much again. He made you feel beautiful and loved. He was a drug that you had been addicted to, and at some points you believed the withdrawal symptoms would kill you. But you were strong, and you wouldn't run back to him.

Tom on the other hand had been doing much worse than you had. Nothing in Tom's life brought him joy. You were always the one to make him genuinely happy. So with you gone from his life without a single word, he had lost himself in his work. He gained more and more enemies every day because of it. The more money and power he gained was never enough, he was insatiable, craving something that would make the pain a little more bearable. And he found that one thing that made the pain lessen, was to make sure you were safe. He had you followed, had tabs kept on you every week. He knew everything. He even knew that you had gotten a little better from the break up every week while he continued to worsen.

Tom sighed, throwing the papers down on his desk and leaning back into his seat. Frenetic knocking sounded from his office door.

"Come in," Tom shouted, annoyed.

The doors swung open revealing one of his men. "Sir, (Y/N) was kidnapped." The man panted.

Tom's eyes widened and he stood up abruptly. "Go and get Harrison."

~~~~

(Three hours earlier)

You laughed at your friend who decided to visit you at the bar you worked at.

"You actually made him cry?" You laughed.

Your friend nodded her head, "Yeah, it was so funny. Like why be in a debate class and not be able to carry your own argument. He got so frustated he literally stood there and started crying."

"I'm impressed Liza-" You noticed someone sitting down at the bar. "I'll be right back." You said nodding towards the man's direction. She nodded back taking a sip of her drink.

You approached the man nonchantly. "Anything I can get for you?"

The man seemed a little strange, and it was hard to see his face since it was covered by his hood. He lifted his head glancing at your nametag. "Nothing right now, (Y/N)." He said as an unsettling grin formed on his lips.

"Um, alright. Just call if you want something." You hurried away. You felt your heart beat quicken. 

You weren't stupid, you had met plenty of terrifying men while you were with Tom. The only question was if this man was part of a mob or just some creep. 

"You okay?" Your friend asked as you approached her. "You look pale."

"I'm- I'm fine. Uh, so what were you saying before?"

~~

The rest of the night seemed to go by smoothly enough, about an hour after you spoke to the unsetting man he had left, making you feel much better. 

It had gotten pretty late and unfortunately you were the one that was left to close that night. You finished wiping down the bar and all of the tables.

"So, Tom Holland, huh?"

You snapped your head towards the bar, your eyebrows furrowing. It was the same man from before. "How-?"

"That lock." He nodded towards the door. "Child's play. Now, I'm very interested in you (Y/N). Would never peg a girl like you to go around fucking men in the mafia. I see why he would fuck you, though." He said raking his eyes up and down your body.

You scoffed, and crossed your arms. "It was one man. And we're not together anymore so I can't help you with whatever it is you want."

"Oh, but sweetheart. I think you can." He said standing up. 

A flash caught your eye and you found a gun hanging loosley from his hand. Of course there was a gun. There was always a gun. 

He came closer and slowly began circling around you. You stood completely still. "You two were supposed to get married weren't you?" You nodded. "And it turns out Tommyboy is still in love with you."

You felt your heart jump. Of course you were terrified for your life, but Tom still had this power over your heart.

"Oh what's this? You're blushing. Do you still love him too?"

You swallowed nervously. "No, I hate him."

"Hm, I don't believe you-."

"What do you want? You're not really here to talk about my love life, so what do you want?"

"Ooh, okay, I think I'm starting to understand why Holland likes you so much. You're firey. But you're right, what I'm actually here is for leverage."

"Wha-?" But before you could finish, you felt the butt of the gun slam into your head and you were out.

~~

"She's pretty isn't she?"

"Keep it in your pants, that's not what she's here for."

"Yeah but still. Do y'think the boss will let us have a little fun with her before we have to kill her."

"Shut the fuck up and do your job, alright."

"Well he isn't wrong." A third voice interjected. "Holland was a lucky bastard."

You slightly groaned, as you blinked your eyes open, your head pounding. You lifted your head finding the three men that had been speaking, circling around you.

"Good morning, princess. How's your head?" You recognized this voice from the first man that had spoken. He was tall with black hair.

"Don't call me princess."

The two other men laughed. "I'm gonna get the boss. James come with me." The more serious one said before leaving the room with James leaving you alone with the black haired man.

"So you were really gonna marry Holland?" He asked, but you looked away from him and ignored what he said. "Tell me why a girl who seems so obviously innocent would go for a freak like Holland. Hm? Is it cause you like it rough, cause sweetheart if you like it rough, I can have you cumming in seconds."

"You're disgusting. I'd never let you touch me." You spat.

The man slowly started to approach you. Once he reached you, he gripped your chin pulled your face close to his. "Such a filthy mouth." He grinned in amusement. "Did Holland let you speak to him like that or do you like to be put in your place." He leaned in closer so his lips were by your ear. "I bet you're a dirty little slut betwee-"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." An all too familiar voice said. 

Both your head and the man's snapped towards the door seeing Tom and Harrison standing there covered in blood with raised guns pointed at the man.

The man stood up, "Holl-" but before he could finish both Tom and Harrison shot him dead.

"T-Tom?" You choked out.

"Shh, darling, I've got you." He said, walking over and untying you from the chair you were in. Once the tape was off, you pulled Tom into you, and hugged him tightly, despite the blood that was on him.

You hated him so much but you also loved him and seeing him after being kidnapped all logic left you. You cried into him as he held you tightly to him. You hated to admit how much you really missed him.

"Let's get you out of here, darling."

~~

You sat across from Tom in the back of his car. Harrison was driving.

Neither of you said a word, as you gazed out the window and as Tom took glances at you.

"...Thanks for saving me." You mumbled.

"Of course, da-"

"But just so you know. I still really fucking hate you."

Tom sighed. "I figured as much."

"How did you know where I was?"

"I...I've had some of my men watch you since you left."

You snapped your head towards him. "You what?" 

"I had to keep tabs on you. I'm still in love with you y'know. And my business is messy, I wanted to make sure you were safe." You stayed silent understanding his reasoning. "...Just so you know, I really miss you princess. If it means anything, I haven't had sex with another woman since you've left."

You scoffed. "Nice to know you only have sex with other women when you're with me."

He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "Come on darling, please. ​​​​​​I need you so much, please just come back."

"...You really fucked up Tom."

"I know, but it'll never happen again, it should've never happened in the first place. I was a fucking idiot. I love you so much, I don't know how to function without you and you're all I think about and it kills me that I don't get to see your beautiful face anymore. Please, give me one more chance."

You gave Tom a pained look. You were so confused. You sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking.

"Fine, this is how it's going to go." Tom perked up. "Basically, you destroyed the last five years we've been together. So if you want to get back together we're starting on square one again. Which means I'm not moving back in, we're not going to have sex for a long time, and we're obviously not going to get married anymore, until you can build my trust back."

Tom nodded, "Yes, please, I'll do anything you want."

"And Tom, I swear if you do anything to break my heart like that again, you will never see me again."

"I will never break your heart again. I can't live without you."

"Then... I guess we're back together."

He smiled widely. "I guess we are."

_____

Cheater Taglist: @roses-hxlland @ladyblablabla @xxomgitsjustinexx @thealexaworld12 @gwanpool @thollandx @pure-sunflower @avengersthotty @simplysushii

Permanent Taglist: @spiderdudeparker @peterparkers-waffles @smexylemony @ultimategalaxyprogram @xxxxdelenaxxxx @chonisberonica @meaningoflifeisfandoms @aegis-s-s @Just-random-stuff-18 @etherealhollandd @roi-yang @ironspiderstark

#mob!tom x reader #mob!haz #mob!harrison #mob!au #mob au #mob!tom x you #mob!tom x y/n #mob!tom #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman smut #spiderman

[bizarrewritings-blog]

Stone Cold - S.S.

Sebastian Stan x Reader

My first request!

Anon: "Hi! :') I loved "friend don't treat me like you do" so much and was wondering if I can request an angsty fic based on the song stone cold by demi lovato, but with maybe a happy ending? Thank you so much!!"

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Word count: 3,482

Warnings: -

A/N: You didn't explicitly said who you want it with, but I assumed Sebastian. Hope you like it! xx

Your Friendship with Sebastian has been the best thing that happened to you. You got to know each other through your job since you were one of the people responsible for the props in some movies, Marvel ones as well. The both of you instantly had a connection, and you knew you weren't the only one who felt it when Sebastian visited you to talk to you during filming breaks, as you normally sat alone in one of corner of the set, just like he did that day.

"If Anthony makes me laugh one more time, I swear I'll punch him. He's responsible for me looking unprofessional." He chuckled, sipping on his coffee. You nodded, smiling. You've caught Anthony making faces at Sebastian a couple times already. "But you gotta admit, you did the same to him." - "Sure but that's different." - "How is it different?" - "Because it's him then!"

You rolled your eyes and grinned at his childish behavior. "I want to see one day on set where you don't try to manipulate each other." He just shook his head no at your remark. "Can't do. He started it." You laughed at that. Now he really sounded like a straight up child. "By the way, do you wanna go somewhere to eat this evening?" You looked at him, a little startled. He never invited you to go out before, and your friendship had been going on for about 4 month already. "Uhm, I guess." You answered, not 100% sure about his intentions. "As friends or are you asking me out?" He chuckled at your question, finishing his coffee. "As friends, obviously." You nodded. Of course. "So you in?" He asked again, his hopeful gaze lingering on your face. "Yeah." A smile crept it's way onto his way as he nodded. "Is 8 okay?" You nodded, just before a crew guy came around. "Stan, we need you on Set." Sebastian nodded, smiling at you before leaving. You watched as he made his way to his position.

You hated to admit it, but you were developing just the tiniest crush on the romanian actor. Since the first day you've met he has always been a gentleman towards you. He was the only one on set who actually wanted to spend time with you. Of course you had a couple of other friends along your co workers, but when they talked you often felt left out. It wasn't like that with Sebastian. He was sweet, always asking how you're holding up and trying to light up your mood when you felt down. Since you both stayed in the same hotel, you met there a couple times as well to hang out at the hotel bar with the other workers. You cared about each other, and the way he showed that to you had you wrapped around his finger. And you mentally cursed yourself for it. He was a well payed, famous actor while you were some backround person who carries fake weapons around the set. He wouldn't be interested in you. And he just confirmed that.

As the evening arrived you stood infront of your bed in your underwear, different pieces of clothing scattered over the sheets. You had no idea where Sebastian wanted to go since he didn't spend his last break with you (which was fine, he obviously had other friends on set who wanted to talk to him). So you didn't know how to dress. You didn't want to look too fancy nor too casual. You decided on a lacy tank top with a black skirt with some matchig black heels and a jeans jacket. You put on some basic make up and took in your appearance, satisfied with how you looked.

The knock on your door came just in time. You grabbed your back and opened it to find Sebastian smiling down at you. He was wearing a white shirt under a leather jacket and some black jeans. 'Casual.' You thought to yourself. "Hello there." He smiled, pulling you in for a hug. "You look great." He added, his eyes shamelessly flying over your figure, making you blush. "Thanks! You don't look too bad yourself." You chuckled, making him grin.

You two left the hotel to get into a cab outside. Sebastian told the driver the address and he started driving. "Wanna tell me where you're taking me?" You asked, turning to Sebastian. "It's a small Diner Chris and I found the other day." He answered, smiling. You soon arrived at your destination and you followed him into a small booth in a corner. He had good taste, you thought. The diner was nice indeed, it had a nice atmosphere, the soft background music calming you. You ordered food and drinks and started chatting, telling each other about stuff you didn't know yet.

"There's actually a reason I brought you here today." Sebastian suddenly said, making your heart stop for a second. "And what would that be?" You asked as you put another fry in your mouth. He took a breath. "So, you're a woman." You raised your eyebrows at his comment, making him chuckle. "You have amazing observation skills." You joked, smiling as he laughed. "I know, I know. I just...I need your advice." Your brows furrowed in confusion. "Advice with what?" - "There's this girl, she's one of the make up artists and I really don't know how to approach her." You pressed your lips in a tight line as your throat went dry. You took a sip of your Milkshake, trying to calm your nerves. You had no right to be jealous, you were friends, he said it himself.

"Don't tell me you've never approached a woman before." You joked, hiding how uncomfortable you were with the whole situation. He rolled your eyes at your remark, smiling. "Of course not. But I don't know, it's something about her that makes me all nervous, it's weird." He admitted, hitting your arm playfully as you shot him an amused look. "And how am I supposed to help?" - "Tell me how you'd like a guy to ask you out." You turned your gaze away from him, pretending to think. "He should be a real gentleman, show me that he's interested in me rather than saying it. After a while I'd just want him to ask me on a date. That's it." You hated how it sounded almost like your friendship with Seb. Apart from the him liking you part. Sebastian nodded at your description. "It's kinda basic, isn't it?" He asked, making you narrow your eyes. "Oh, you think I'm basic?" - "No not you, but your expectations for men." He grinned. You just shrugged. "No high hopes means less possible disappointment."

The rest of the evening went well. Sebastian seemed to accept your advice since he didn't pick up the topic again. You secretly thanked him for that. About two hours later you decided to leave. You payed and made your way back to hotel, hugging Sebastian goodbye as you arrived at your floor. You didn't know it yet, but working eith him would become a lot harder than it was.

It already started the next day. You haven't seen Sebastian at all, even though he had two breaks already. You tried to tell yourself that it wasn't important, that he probably spend his breaks with his co-workers. But when he finally came to you, a bright smile on his face, you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter. "Y/N, I have great news!" Oh no. "I did it! I talked to Amanda!" So that's her name. "She's really nice, i spend my breaks with her and we're really getting along." Your jaw clenched on it's own accord. The last time you've seen him this happy was when you suprised him with donuts. You forced a smile. "That's great news! I'm happy for you." He grinned, thanking you. He opened his mouth again to continue speaking as his phone vibrated. He took it out, smiling as his screen lit up. "That's her, I gotta go. But still thanks for your help!" He smiled at you before leaving, giving you no time to answer. You sighed, turning back to your coffee. So this was how it'll be.

The next days Sebastian never joined you during his breaks. You got a quick hug when you briefly met each other, and a smile here and there when you brought a prop on set. You forced yourself to hang out with your co-workers to not sit alone during breaks. But you regretted that decision as the topic changed to what's going on between Sebastian and the Make up lady. You rolled your eyes as you tried to keep your full attention to your phone in your hands. God you hated this. You really missed Sebastian.

When work day was over and you made your way off set, you heard someone calling your name. You stopped and turned around, nearly tumbling over as someone basically ran into you to hug you. "Y/N she said yes!" Sebastian almost screamed in your ear before pulling away, a bright smile on his face. "I asked her out and she said yes!" You could practically feel your heart breaking at his words, but smiled anyway. "That's great!" He nodded excitedly. "Thank you, really. Without you I probably wouldn't have spoken to her." You mentally slapped yourself. "No problem, bud." You smiled, padding his shoulder. "Good luck with her!" He thanked you once more before leaving. You let out a deep sigh, turning around to catch a cab to go to your hotel.

You spend the rest of your day in your hotel bed, watching TV with some chinese take-out. Suddenly your phone vibrated, Sebastian name appearing on it. You furrowed your brows, he barely texted you. You picked up your phone to read his message.

'Just wanted to inform you that the date was great! She's so sweet and even has good taste in food!'

You let the phone fell back on the bed as you stared at the ceiling. You hated to admit it but god did you want to be that girl. But it was his choice. And his choice was her.

You tried to avoid Sebastian the following days. You didn't want to hear about him and Amanda, so it was actually a good thing that he didn't visit you during his breaks anymore.

"Hey Y/N, you coming to that party everyone got invited to this Friday?" One of your co-workers, Marc, asked. You shrugged. "Maybe, i don't know. I'm not really a party person." - "Oh come on, you have to come." Jessica pouted. From all your co-workers, you were closest with her. You sighed, you could never turn her down. So you agreed, causing her to smile. You turned your attention back to your phone, checking your mails. A new email made yur jaw slack a little, an offering to work at another movie. You let your gaze drift across the set, debating whether to accept it or not. It would help to get away from Sebastian, and the payment would be better. You sighed, locking your phone again.

As Friday arrived, you forced yourself into a simple, but fancy black dress and some heels. You still haven't accepted the offer from the other movie, but the thought of it still lingered in your mind. Sebastian texted you yesterday that he and Amanda officially started dating, and you felt numb ever since. You've definitely fallen for him, and you hated to see him with someone who wasn't you. So accepting the job wouldn't be so bad.

You walked out of the hotel, taking a cab to the restaurant the managers booked for the whole crew. You sat at the table with some of the prop people, your eyes immediately scanning the room for Sebastian. You spotted him on the dance floor, Amanda in his arms as they talked to each other while swaying to the soft music. You frowned at the scene, taking your phone out. You opened the email about the job offering, taking a breath before typing an answer, accepting it.

As the evening went on, you tried to concentrate on the conversation between the people around you. When you got hungry you slowly made your way to the buffet, grabbing a plate to get yourself some shrimp. "There she is." An all to familiar voice suddenly called, making you jump in suprise. "God Sebastian, warn a girl." You mumbled, putting shrimps onto your plate. "I haven't seen you in a long time, how have you been?" He smiled, a little confused why you didn't react as happy as you normally would. You took a breath, turning to him. "I've been great, you?" - "Amazing! Amanda is a pure angel, I'm so glad to be with her." His eyes shined in pure Happiness and you had a hard time not getting lost in them. "Sounds nice, I'm happy for you." 'Happy to see you so cheerful, not that she's the reason' you mentally corrected yourself. Then you remembered your new job.

"Oh, by the way, I have some news." You added, a forced smile on your face. "I've got a job at a different movie. Their payment is better than here. So, I won't be on set anymore." His face fell at your words. "You're leaving?" You bit your lip nervously, nodding. He just sighed. "So this is goodbye i guess?" You nodded again, showing a sad smile as he hugged you once more. He wished you luck before going back to his girlfriend. You watched as he left, waiting for your eyes to get teary but there was nothing. You body felt numb, your heart stone cold. You took a breath before turning back to your shrimps, secretly wishing this evening would end soon.

When it did finally end you informed everyone that you were leaving and officially quitting your job. You packed your things and left the hotel the same night, taking a cab to the subway to your new job.

*About 2 month later*

The new job was great. The people around you were nice, you never had to spend a break alone. But everything couldn't keep Sebastian off your mind. You did miss him. You barely spoke to each other, a text here and there but nothing more. You wanted to talk to him so badly, but you assumed he was busy with Amanda. When the set of the movie you currently helped on was close to where Sebastian was currently, you actually considered to visit him, but your doubts made that impossible.

It was a late Saturday evening when he texted you again. You were in your current hotel room, watching some lame drama on TV.

Sebastian: 'Where are you right now?'

You got confused by this. He'd never asked that before.

You: 'In a hotel. Why?'

Sebastian: 'Can I come?'

You swore your heartbeat stopped for a second. Why did he want to visit you?

You: 'Of course, is there a specific reason?'

Sebastian: 'We'll talk then, just tell me'

He sounded kind of harsh, which left you even more suspicious. You told him where you were, which he didn't reply to. You turned the TV off, your fingers drumming nervously against the leather couch as you waited for him to arrive, your mind flooding with questions.

A knock at your door forced you out of trance. You walked up to it, noticing how your hands were shaking slightly as you unlocked it before opening it. You were met with a tired looking Sebastian, his hair a mess and beard full grown. Before you could say anything his arms where around you, pulling you into a tight hug. You were startled for a second before you hugged him back, taking in the scent of his cologne. Yes, you really had missed him. "Hi." He finally murmured, pulling back slowly. "Hey." You replied, stepping aside to let him enter your hotel room. He sat down at the couch, you joining him after closing the door.

You sat there in silence for a couple moments, waiting for him to start as he was the one who wanted to come. "I have news." He suddenly said, making you turn your gaze to him while he kept his on his hands. "Amanda and I broke up." Your face fell at his statement while your heart jumped a little. It hasn't gotten over the crush you had on him, even after month of not seeing him. "Sorry to hear that." You said sincere and he nodded. "What happened, if I may ask?" He took a deep breath before answering. "It was a mutual break up, so everythings fine. We kind of rushed into the relationship, it was a bad idea since both of us wanted someone else but kind of settled for each other. It was a dumb, I know that now." You bit your lip nervously as his words hit you. He wanted someone else.

"Weird situation." You remarked. "Who would that someone else be?" Sebastian chuckled lightly at that, making you smile. God you had missed him so much. "Well, in her case it was a camera guy. I've never talked to him so I don't know about him." You nodded, waiting for him to continue. "In my case...she's a close friend of mine. We talked a lot in the past but she never dropped any clues that she felt just as I did, so I looked for other possibilities and found Amanda." You felt your heart racing at his words, his eyes finally meeting yours. He couldn't be talking about you, could he? "But all the time i've spend with Amanda, I couldn't stop thinking of her. And Amanda couldn't stop thinking about that other guy, so both of us forced the other one to confess." He took another deep breath, his gaze still boring into yours. "That's why I'm here." You stopped breathing for a second. No way.

"You want me to help you again cause you don't know how to tell her?" You asked, half joking half serious. He chuckled at that, shaking his head. "No, that's not the reason." He got serious again, taking your hand in his. "I hope I'm not going to regret this, but I like you. You're amazing and beautiful and you understand me more than anyone ever could. And I'm so sorry that we didn't have much contact the last months, I really tried to forget you and be happy with Amanda but I couldn't. You're stuck in my head and it seems like there's no way to get you out." You couldn't help but stare at him in disbelief.

"You like me?" Sebastian furrowed his brows, but smiled. "That's all you heard?" - "God no, no i just-I didn't expect you to like me." His face suddenly fell at your words. "Does that mean you don't feel the same?" He asked carefully. Your eyes widened. "God, no, i mean, yes, I-ugh." You took a breath, slightly amused by Sebastian confused face. "I like you too. Always have." He let out a relieved sigh at that, smiling widely. "Thank god. I was actually scared I was gonna regret coming here." You chuckled before mirroring his smile. You watched as he slowly scooted closer, bringing the hand that wasn't still intertwined with yours to your face, setting it on your cheek. "I've been dreaming to do this." He smiled before he carefully covered your lips with his. The kiss started slow as you got addicted to his taste, a mixture of mint and just him. Your heart nearly busted out your chest, your mind going dizzy at the feeling of his lips against yours. The kiss got more passionate pretty quick as his hand moved to the back of neck while you ran yours through his short strands.

A couple minutes went by before Sebastian pulled away, panting lightly with the bright smile back on his lips. "Definitely should have done that earlier." He noted, making you grin. "Definitely." Your eyes find his as you just smile at each other, happy to finally be together. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you earlier." He suddenly said, smiling sadly. You just shook your head. "No, don't worry. I could've said something myself, instead i left the job at Marvel to avoid you and Amanda." - "You left because of that?" he asked, amused by your confession. "Were you jealous?" - "Of course I was. I wanted to be in her spot." You pouted, making him chuckle. "Don't worry, you are now." He pecked your lips, making you giggle. "I'm gladly accepting." You captured his mouth into another kiss, feeling him smile against your lips. You were finally in your happy place, with the person you loved the most.

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