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this is just pure self induglence
can i request ghost ripping into each member of the team over something stupid they did and when he finally get to us he cant yell and tell us not to do it again really sweetly and leaves the room and soap asks us how we get him to be nice and it leads to them finding out
A. we outrank him
B. hes our hubby and cant be mean to us even if he tried
(i love it when soap just never gets told anything about simons personal life. it’s like another way soap and ghost just go at each other to me 💀)
🫶🫶 (love my anons)
‘you need to start thinking more, sergeant!’ ghost nearly growled into soaps face. ‘if you’d think, maybe we wouldn’t ‘ave had to evacuate like we did, and maybe there wouldn’t have been three dead!’ and all soap could do was look away.
price had disappeared. he well outranked the lieutenant and didn’t need to stay behind for the talking to everyone was getting. you, though, you stayed because you wanted to.
he moved on to gaz, staring down at the younger man. ‘and you’re supposed to be with him,’ he pointed at soap, ‘at all times. did you forget? is that why he went off and fucked up?’ he snarled.
soap opened his mouth, ready to defend gaz before ghost cut him off. ‘don’t you even think about it, sergeant. i want you both on the field tomorrow. 0500,’ and he turned to you.
soap and gaz watched as the lieutenant just looked at you, your eyes glaring through his own. it was like you were talking to each other without speaking, and ghost shook his head. ‘don’t do that again,’ he huffed out and marched away.
gaz visibly relaxed, allowing his shoulders to fall from their stiff position. rubbing at his neck, he looked between you and soap.
‘i’m just gonna go on and get some food. might knock out early so ghost doesn’t fuck me up too bad tomorrow,’ and he walked off.
falling into step beside you, soap and yourself just walked for a bit. soap needed to blow of some steam. ‘how do you do it?’ he turned to you, face fallen and almost hurt. ‘i don’t get it, he never yells at you, he doesn’t do anything to you,’ he shook his head.
the mission hadn’t gone as poorly as ghost had thought. there were some missing pieces of intel, a few soldiers lost in the ranks here or there. maybe an outdated blueprint.
where you’d been watching, ready to help snipe should anything go wrong, things seemed to be going okay. soap hadn’t fucked anything up too bad, he just hadn’t seen someone walking by before they’d seen him.
he was almost shot, barely getting away. gaz had barely gotten away with the needed intel, but had to lose the person you’d been after. that was going to ruin a lot of things in the long run.
‘you didn’t do as poorly as ghost thinks,’ you said to soap, ignoring his initial comment. ‘he just gets all up in his head, believes that anything that goes wrong is nobody’s fault but ours,’ you told him.
you weren’t going to explain how he believed it was his own fault. when soldiers he was leading fell, he took it as though he was the one killing them.
soap shook his head. ‘how do you do it? he barely even tells you when you screw things up,’ you gave a little laugh.
‘oh he tells me, soap,’ you responded. ‘you just don’t ever see it, because he’s private. sure, i may outrank him, but-‘
‘you outrank ghost?’ he stared at you, brows furrowed. you nodded.
‘i just don’t ever wear my stripes or pins,’ you told him. ‘colonel, but i’ve stepped aside to help you guys out. god awful amount of paperwork, though,’ you shrugged and looked away.
soap shook his head. ‘he yells at price sometimes, but he never even gets angry at you. there’s something else,’ you gave soap a little smile.
finally looking back at the scot, you fully grinned at him. ‘it’s cause i’m his wife, and he’d be sleeping with the dogs if he ever yelled at me,’ you told him.
blinking at you, soap took a moment to process it. ‘you’re his what?’ you nodded, pulling the necklace with your wedding band on it. he grabbed it gently, staring at the pretty stone. ‘he even knows what type of metal you wear?’
you nodded. ‘he’s a genuine sweetheart sometimes, but he has his reasons for speaking to you guys the way he does,’
‘i guess,’ soap looked away. ‘ever think about having kids,’ you shoved him away from you, laughing.
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I have a community now by the way
I have a healthy friend group , we laugh and talk, really talk, we hangout often
I go to a class monthly, I actually talk to and connect to people there
I go to therapy monthly to and my therapist is always so happy hearing about all the great progress I'm making
I'm learning that I'm wanted and loved and worth something because I'm weird not in spite of it
I'm letting go of so much shame and guilt I held for so long it almost became me
I'm talking to my parents more, real meaningful sometimes hard conversations, and it's never the end of the world
I'm eating better, and I don't mean dieting or traditionally "healthier" I mean I'm trying new foods, eating food that makes me happy, letting it make me happy, I'm eating more veggies cause they Taste good and I like them and not cause I have to
I'm taking care of myself and using my supports and taking medicine when I hurt instead of forcing myself to push through so much pain
I'm coming out and it's going so well and I feel like I can breathe finally
I'm not crying every single day anymore
And ya I know it won't always be this good
I know I'll always struggle with my health, physical and mental
I know there will be bad days and hard things to do
But I also know I'll make it through them, that I have people to lean on and I'll be ok
I wish me from like, a year ago could see me
We're making it, in a lot of ways we already have
You'd be so Proud of us
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Today, in response to the death of Nex Benedict, we at It Gets Better joined more than 350 LGBTQ+ orgs, civil rights groups, and public figures in calling on Oklahoma legislative leadership to immediately remove Ryan Walters as the state’s superintendent of public instruction; and to launch an investigation into the Department of Education.
All youth should feel support and encouragement at school, not bullying and harassment. Nex Benedict is not with us today, because those who are responsible for education in the state of Oklahoma have enabled a climate of hate and bigotry that led to Nex’s death.
Read our letter and join our demands for action: bit.ly/JusticeForNex
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