anaalnathrakhs

[anaalnathrakhs]

i need to watch dungeon meshi so i can thirst for laios without being a poser in all peace of mind

#never would i have thought i'd like a man with short hair #buuuuuut he's cute and he's weird so #broadcasting my misery

[anaalnathrakhs]

I'm kind of obsessed with this man

#dungeon meshi #i dont go here (yet) but THIS is the art i wanna see in the tag ty

[anaalnathrakhs]

post canon Randy Bradley being absolutely terrified to have sex bc he remembers Benson telling him how risky it is and how it's probably going to result in an unwanted pregnancy lmao. Benson still having Randy on a leash even from beyond the grave bc somewhere deep in the dredges of his brain he knows Benson doesn't approve of him fucking a girl. wow! I wonder what he'll have to do to get around that?? hmm I can't imagine

#the passenger 2023

[anaalnathrakhs]

MONDAY I GO TO THE HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES.

#if i dont make an ultimatum i'll never do anything #godddd i dont want to i dont want to #i dont know whats going to happen #but i NEED that fucking doctor's note so i can go back to school #kill me kill me kill me #broadcasting my misery #vent

[anaalnathrakhs]

old scribbles based on @arnold-layne s pirate au I never shared beyond dms, time to fix that 🏴‍☠️

#motleyposting on main #god jesus im thinking abt pirate AU again. and that top scribble w the digusting disgusting terror twins again.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

[anaalnathrakhs]

if i might rationalize my previous struggles and feelings of inadequacy a little more, basically everything i've learned is:

1)People will compliment and hype me up on principle, bc I did something smart in the past, even when I'm actively failing

(unmistakable, type

"I did nothing this schoolyear"

"Oh no don't say that you're doing plenty enough"

"No, literally, I havent opened the package with the textbooks and clocked zero assignements."

"You're not giving yourself enough credit!"

and that wasn't because i was being self-flagellating or something, just stating it, trying to share my struggles)

2) Any attempt at being realistic and measured and/or not a huge self-aggrandizing asshat about good results is being treated as if I'm a poor sad little baby who doesn't even know how genius I am. Poor little baby without self-esteem. You're soooooo much better than everyone else you should be soooooo proud.

Which is sweet I guess, but completely misguided. And not very helpful for trying to set ambitious but reasonable expectations for myself.

3) In general, every time I express I'm struggling with either understanding the material, or making myself work correctly, it's met with "but you're soooooooo smart" SHUT UP good memory for trivia is not a skill transferrable to everything and anything. No attempt at meeting me halfway, just instant supposition that this is a self-esteem problem and what I really need is being reassured that I'm actually effortlessly smart, obviously, why would I ever be anything else. The most reassuring perspective in the entire world of course.

End result, I have no idea what to think of my results, and I don't even care any way. I mean. I die inside if I'm not top of the class 20/20 above the class average in every possible metric, but at the same time I don't even feel anything. Vague creeping sense of disappointment whatever happens.

Most people I've talked to about my results before seem to think it's perfectly fine to base my current self-esteem and expectations on being designated the GOAT of elementary school bc the teachers saw I read big books and didn't know how to manage a probably neurodivergent kid. When actually I struggled with many aspects of schoolwork and many subjects.

So. I don't know. All of my friends we call each other stupid. It's a much easier baseline to live up to.

#and dont get me started on the fucking disgusting vocabulary that's used to talk about ''smart kids'' as nebulous of a concept that is #the Officially smart kids. certified so. #like i had never thought about it but the fucking contempt there is in ''gifted kid'' #for every kid who is and every kid who isn't #all sunshine and rainbows amirite #broadcasting my misery #vent

[anaalnathrakhs]

we need more dials and knobs and levers again. this world is lacking in dials and knobs and levers. it's one of our biggest issues.

[anaalnathrakhs]

This is about academia, so programs for art/sports/etc don't count, only studying.

A program for gifted kids would be separate from most of the other kids, and only be open to certain students.

The "highest level" is referring to classes where you learn differently based on your academic levels. Unlike being a part of a separate program, you would still be in the same class as your peers, you would just be the "best" among them.

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

#i adopted the english terminology for that but i dont think that whole system works the exact same where i live #i skipped a grade and was ''diagnosed'' an equivalent of ''gifted'' #despite not really being very good at school actually. like i had one or two pet classes and good trivia knowledge. #but i struggled a lot with the other subjects. and homework. and organization. and work ethic. and socializing. and and and. #so it went horribly i dropped out of school and was ''homeschooled'' (did nothing) for years. tried school some more and doubled back twice #now im in a special program for dropouts who need a high school diploma for higher education #if everything goes to plan i'll officially graduate high school this year aaaaaalmost not late #im still academically a disaster but sort of functional enough

[anaalnathrakhs]

pls reblog for sample size etc

#i had to go above and beyond and tell someone who had followed me and was trying to connect and send ask games n stuff #like heeeeey buddy are you sure you understand what my blog is about

[anaalnathrakhs]

#360° neck plz and thank you

[anaalnathrakhs]

MÖTLEY CRÜE ‼️

#motleyposting on main #skrunkly mick pics!!!!!!!!! #look at this scampery creature guy hanging out in the background of pictures

[anaalnathrakhs]

irl tumblr meetup with the mutual circle but no one says what their url is so u have to guess who is who

#this is just gonna be guess the accent battle royale

[anaalnathrakhs]

it really is so uncomfortable being a trans man in cis centric conversations of feminism. I just wonder. do they know about people like me? do they care? if I brought it up to them, how would they react? Do they expect me to be their human shield?

[anaalnathrakhs]

literally feels like a myth that there are people who don't struggle with basic tasks like getting out of bed or going to the shops or seeing a friend for coffee. how does everything not feel like a painstaking chore for them. how do they have the physical and emotional energy every single day

[anaalnathrakhs]

talking to people about youth liberation brings out the most profoundly reactionary impulses in many and often exposes a deep and foundational rot in people's conceptions of agency and sexual violence

[anaalnathrakhs]

Some goths are written by tim burton, some goths are written by bram stoker, and some goths are written by rob zombie

#ME #one day i will be a goth written by rob zombie just you watch #rob zombie