So when I was young, needlework was a BIG deal in my family and I was expected to learn cross-stitch because that's just what you did.
Severe undiagnosed and unsupported ADHD with all the RSD and perfectionism that comes with it, made it exceptional difficult. My mother was very insistent on doing it "right" which meant complete lines, alternating colors, top to bottom.
After more pulled stitches, ruined Aida, and screaming fits with my mother, than I can remember, I gave up. Like most things I've tried and wasn't immediately successful at, it became "a thing I can't do."
Well, two decades later, playing a meaningless game on my phone and listening to Worlds Beyond Number, I got inspired to make a thing. My partner cross stitches and we had some material lying around and I wanted to give it a shot.
First, I tried to condense Lou's incredible speech about being a knight, living in a world you weren't promised but still obligated to try to make it better. That was... Too much.
So I settled on this l epic Brennan quote. Stubborn and traumatized, I jumped in, not looking up anything about how to plan a pattern.
I got to the first "you" hand stitching the letters without a pattern, before I realized my error.
I found an alphabet that looked reasonable a d tried it out. The stitches were tight, spacing was a wreck, but I DID it. Now I had Stitch Fever and had to try again.
Hubris struck again and I bought unreasonable Aida (28 count, I'm cerifiable) tried to pixelate a font and after buyingy first seam ripper.... Another project in the bin.
I tried again. Reasonable Aida, (18 this time!) And I planned it out. I printed blank, gridded, excel sheets and mapped it out.
It's still not perfect, but I tried. I learned and I didn't give up.
I guess the point of this ramble is:
1) it's never too late to try.
2) failure is ok, as long as you learn from it.
3) Art is inspiring. Someone else's art can poke a hole in your heart and make you want to create art yourself and that's a beautiful thread of human connection.
So, now it's onto the next project, but this one will always be special.
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“the desert” is katara’s most quietly admirable episode; she manages to guide and protect the rest of the gaang while they are in precarious states under unimaginable pressure and with very few resources. katara’s tireless endurance this episode culminates in her bravery as she risks her own safety to comfort aang in the avatar state.
for an audience upon first viewing, her ability to thrive under pressure here may seem like a surprising departure from the impulsive, reactive, sensitive girl we’ve been accustomed to over the past 1.5 seasons. but sokka’s admission in “the runaway” reframes katara’s behavior in this episode.
we know that while the rest of her family was a mess, katara stepped up and gave them hope. she refused to sink into her grief—to abandon the site of her trauma like hakoda did, to give up like kanna did, or to repress and depersonalize like sokka did. she may have a temper and she may not always think things through, but she is able to communicate her emotions and refuses to cut herself off from feeling and processing her grief and rage, which is more than can be said for her brother.
and upon learning this piece of her history, you realize that her indefatigable, relentless hope and care that she displays in “the desert” is actually a pattern of behavior for her that is being repeated. when all hope seems lost and everyone in her life has abandoned faith, katara finds purpose and meaning in being the glue that holds everyone together, even when she is as grief-stricken and exhausted as the rest of them.
in moments of abject despair, katara guides her loved ones and herself out of there desert, both literally and metaphorically. and that is why she is the narrator and the catalyst and the hero of this story of a revolution that successfully destabilizes an oppressive paradigm in the eleventh hour, because she represents the power and importance of organized resistance when all hope is lost, of refusing to give into despair, of continuing to believe in love even in the bleakest, most desperate circumstances, and envisioning a brighter future even (especially) when no one else can.
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How to build good habits | How to break bad habits?
Building Good Habits:
Start Small & Celebrate: Don't overwhelm yourself. Begin with tiny, achievable goals. Swap sugary drinks for water or walk for 10 minutes daily. Celebrate these small wins – they fuel future progress.
Find the Fun: Make it enjoyable! Explore activities like yoga, swimming, or dancing. Choose something you genuinely enjoy, making it more likely you'll stick with it.
Habit Stacking: Integrate new habits with existing ones. Do jumping jacks while waiting for coffee, or follow brushing teeth with some stretches. This makes adopting new habits feel seamless.
Schedule for Success: Block out time in your routine for healthy habits at consistent times. A morning meditation session before work or a post-dinner walk becomes second nature.
Prep Makes Perfect: Be proactive! Pre-portion healthy snacks to avoid temptations. Lay out workout clothes beforehand – streamline your mornings for healthy choices.
Reward Progress, Not Perfection: It's a marathon, not a sprint. Reward yourself for sticking with goals – a relaxing bath after workouts or a new book for mindful eating. Don't sweat slip-ups – view them as temporary bumps.
Self-Reflection is Key: Regularly evaluate your progress. Are certain habits no longer serving you? Maybe swap a walk for a bike ride to keep things interesting.
Focus on the Journey: Building healthy habits is a continuous process. Celebrate the positive changes – increased energy, better sleep, a happier you!
Breaking Bad Habits:
Identify Your Triggers: Recognize the situations, emotions, or cues that prompt your bad habit. For example, stress might trigger mindless snacking.
Develop a Replacement Behavior: Have a healthy alternative ready when the urge for the bad habit strikes. Stressed? Take a walk instead of reaching for chips.
Eliminate Cues: If possible, remove things that tempt you. Keep sugary drinks out of sight, or unsubscribe from tempting online shopping lists.
Positive Reinforcement: Reward yourself for resisting the bad habit. Craving a cigarette? Treat yourself to a healthy smoothie instead.
Be Patient & Persistent: Breaking habits takes time and effort. Don't get discouraged by setbacks. Just get back on track with your new, healthy behavior.
Find a Support System: Tell friends or family about your goal. Having an accountability partner can boost motivation and offer encouragement.
Forgive Yourself: Everyone slips up. Don't beat yourself up for occasional lapses. Learn from the experience and recommit to your goals.
Focus on Progress: Track your progress and celebrate your successes, however minor they may seem. Staying motivated is key to long-term success.
learn more on my ebook is
Master The Art Of Forming Healthy Habits
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