#i was hanging out with my flatmate and her friends and they were struggling to open a bottle of alcohol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

memryse · 2 years

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i wanna expand on my tags a little actually <3 loveposting for the mcyt fandom at the end but under a cut bc this is pretty heavy Backstory (tw for suicidal ideation) and i’ve never spoken about it publicly before but i think i would like to get it off my chest after all this time. bc i never really opened up about it and i don’t think i could say it directly to anyone

ok so. pandemic bad. we all get that right

i handled the first part of the pandemic p well. it was summer, as an introvert (and, as i have recently realised, an undiagnosed autistic who was REALLY struggling in sixth form) i enjoyed the freedom from other people. i ended a shit relationship (don’t edate, kids), got super into twisted wonderland, made some lovely friends in my twst server who i still adore to this day. i thought the pandemic would be great for me!

but as it turns out, i actually do need a little bit of contact with people my own age in order to not go insane. and to put my social situation into perspective, i had a friend group at sixth form who i never talked to outside of school and intended to drop the minute i had an excuse to do so because they were transphobic, and two friends from pre-sixth form who went elsewhere for sixth form who i Also barely talked to anymore because. again. undiagnosed autistic. reaching out to people just to say “hi” and make small talk is not my thing no matter how well i know a person.

so september rolls around, we start university. i my friends move to their unis, i move to mine for a bit, make friends with one of my flatmates, but then we go back into lockdown at halloween and both of us go home. again, i struggle to keep contact with her, and i’ve made no real friends in my online classes either - i talk in the group chats a lot, met my classmates once while i was still at uni, but don’t click with anyone. and it’s also november. so all of these things considered, the seasonal depression hits really hard.

i realise i wasted my entire time in school being a terminally online kid who can’t maintain friendships with people in real life (narrator voice: this is, again, because of the undiagnosed autism and wanting to share your obscure hyperfixations but nobody irl caring). and i also realise how little i ever have private conversations with people even online, that barely anyone ever even bothers reaching out to me personally despite me having several close online friend groups. and i just… get it into my head that i’m fundamentally unlikeable and broken as a person, that i’m not worth getting to know outside of a group setting. i start noticing everything about other people’s friendships to the point that i either have to remove myself from conversations where my twst friends would mention other people or i would just outright take out my misery on them because i had no other outlet other than this twst server that i ran. by the end of december, i was idly contemplating suicide pretty much every day. it’s without a doubt the most mentally unhealthy i’ve ever been - i’m normally very self aware/analytical of myself but i was so absorbed in how utterly miserable i was that i couldn’t see how much of a dick i was actually being. the worst part is that my friends did reach out, but at the time it didn’t help, because it just made it feel like people only cared because i was acting so obviously concerning.

i think around mid january i realised it was not healthy for me to be around those people, but even then i hadn’t realised i was treating them like shit, it was very much from a self absorbed place of “i will feel worse if i keep hanging out in this server”. so i just… cut myself off from people. deactivate my twitter. try to stop talking in the server as much as possible. focus on uni work. still utterly alone in real life - my two school friends would message me every once in a while, but i never know how to properly respond, which continues the cycle of me feeling isolated and broken. yknow what’s funny is that in hindsight we had a minecraft server with the three of us in december and my brain erased all connection between “your friends want to play minecraft with you” and “your friends like you and want to hang out with you”. and i knew they were talking and hanging out with each other too and that they knew each other’s personal lives, but i was comparatively out of the loop. what i’m trying to say here is that i used to not think jealousy was a genuine thing until i became the human embodiment of it

except for one thing. one of those friends is a wilbur/dsmp fan. and they keep messaging me dsmp references, which i absolutely do not get, but am sort of aware of the existence of the dream smp. i watch a couple of the videos they send me, but generally understand none of it. all i know from twitter is “dream is bad”

it gets to the end of february/beginning of march, and i say fuck it. i start watching wilbur’s dsmp videos, and then tommy’s. by the time i get to the exile vods, it’s become such a hyperfixation that i physically can’t concentrate in class anymore because all i can think about is watching the next vod. which, yknow, not great for my academics especially when i’m already struggling because of the Mental Illness. but what it does give me is an excuse to talk to my friend! and our other friend sees me getting into it and decides to check it out too (hi mint if you’re reading this. i’d put a heart but it feels a bit awkward after the paragraphs about suicidal depression) in total it takes me like. two or three weeks to catch up with the general gist of lore, with my first live streams being the prison streams. for related reasons i don’t remember most of that period. it was a BLUR

i reactivate my twitter because i’m unable to keep myself from gushing about the hypfx. at first i only use a 0 follower side acc because i think everyone will hate me for liking mcyt. then i decide to post it on main, predictably lose followers so i do end up making a diff account. BUT hog hunt comes out, which convinces sin, my twitter mutual since 2017 or 2018 to go from “will maybe watch dsmp one day” to “has to find out about this thing immediately”. we’d been mutuals for so long and are basically the same person but had never properly become close bc we were always into different things

and well. all of that somehow ends up in me getting into 3l and hermitcraft despite having awful associations with hc because of the shitty relationship from the start of the post. me, irl friend mint, sin and some other New friends manage to all become a friend group because of a minecraft server. long story short in april i travelled to london to meet up with them because they’re my dearest friends and i have photos of us on my wall all together wearing minecraft youtuber merch.

i talk to both of those irl friends nearly every day now. which all started with mcyt yes but we’re just overall so much closer now, we all live in different places but make efforts to hang out a lot - often for mcc <3

starting in december i allowed myself to properly start talking in that twst server again. for most of 2021 i’d been too hyperfixated on mcyt to even really want to, but i was also so disgusted by how badly i’d treated them that i figured they were better off without me. but… they welcomed me back with open arms, i’ve never felt an ounce of anger from them even though they definitely deserve to be mad at me for all of that. i talk to them most days even if it’s just to check in or share an outfit. they’re like my family and i love them so dearly

and finally! i moved back to uni in march and worked up the courage to join a society - i became such fast friends with them, we hang out so much and i met multiple hc fans in the society! one of them is coming over to watch double life with me tomorrow <3 i thought i was incapable of making new friends but i’ve clicked so well with all of them. the mcyt thing is just one part of that, but well. domino effect. if all of the above hadn’t happened i would have been too depressed to consider even trying making new friends. and i’m so glad i did.

i’ve made so many cool friends from tumblr too, and never in my life did i see myself returning to tumblr until i found out that there were more inniters on tumblr <3 in general my life has just done a complete 180 from early 2021 and i truly owe all of it to the video of crimeboys trying to gaslight phil into thinking he doesn’t have a wife, and the video of tubbo trying to pronounce “diamantspitzhacke”. this fandom is hell sometimes but it’s definitely the reason i’m alive today, so that’s generally a good thing i think

yeah this got. really long but okay. the one part of my life that i have still not improved is that i have no clue how to open up to people, i don’t really do direct emotional closeness. nor would i necessarily want to dump all of this directly on anyone, because it’d almost feel like i’m blaming them for that dark point in my life, like i’m saying “you should have been there for me”. but i’m done being angry about it, i could have done more to reach out for help. so writing this out and sending it off to the void of tumblr is cathartic enough for me, and whoever happens to read it, i don’t really care. i’m just happy now. amazing what minecraft youtubers and a community of gay minecraft youtuber fans can do for a person

#tw suicide #tw suicidal ideation #memos

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artichokeconfessional · 7 months

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Sending something out into the world

November 3rd 1:39am

. I’m a 24 year old living on the other side of the world from my childhood bedroom where I use to spill out over dozens of half finish journals from as young as I could remember. I turn 25 next week, same day my friend is driving me to the other side of the island where I’ll live in a new city and I’m so excited.

My girlfriend lives there. I miss. She’s too beautiful for me I feel like. I know it’s shallow and cliche and all that jazz but it’s hard man I’m a short chubby ginger guy and she’s a tall goth girl and it’s beautiful and a t4t and I miss her. And I’m afraid everyday that she doesn’t feel the same way, like she’s too nervous to break it to me she’s not into me over instagram or some shit. We’ve been long distance for 3 months.

We started at a party, my first one post Covid lockdown (there were no cases in my country at this time so we all felt relatively safe to party while the rest of the world was indoors). We knew each other sort of, had taken writing papers together in university but this was my first time seeing her since she came out she was beautiful. Just so happy, she has this smile that immediately spills into my rib cage this feeling of utter warmth. We talk and it’s so natural so real and we become friends.

And this friendship goes for three years, sporadic hang outs, weed seshes, discussions of music and university, historic events and video games. Pretentious shit I’m usually too nervous to actually talk about af lengths with people but she listens she really does. And I have this giant crush on her. But I don’t want to tell her because I don’t want to ruin the friendship. (Which you as a reader already know it wouldn’t, there’s a literary term for that. Like when the audience knows something the main character doesn’t? Totally blanking and my flatmate who’s doing her English PhD is in Ireland rn)

And I go back to my home country for a year, fall in love with a friend back in the country I’m living now where I went to university, so I go back there to live with this person and we ultimately and amicably break up after 9 months living toghether and I move in with my current flat mate and I’m stuck back in my university town I’ve lived in on and off for a total of 5 years so I say fuck it. I know my friend (future girlfriend, how about for future reference refer to her as A) I know A lives in the city on the other side of the island with her two partners so I ask if I could come visit I need to gfo if my town and she obliges.

And we hang out a lot there’s something in the air though but I just think it’s wishful thinking. We get stoned one night, on her bed, and she tells me she’s had a crush on me the past 3 years so we’re both just a couple of nervous nerds. And since then we’ve dating.

She doesn’t like doing phone calls I also don’t really, we’re both maybe too neurodivergent for it to not feel super awkward and disconnected. She also has had a shit ton going on, and so I’ve spammed her with memes like 3-4 a day, and she doesn’t really look at them. She just struggles a lot with finding the energy to respond, and I respect that so much and there’s a better way to articulate it but it just makes the missing her hurt so much more. Eventually every couple days she responds heart reacts them and we chat and I love it, and she reassures me that I’m not some annoyance to her because I also ask that when we chat a lot. Because that’s what my brain tells me.

I send a bunch of memes, and don’t get a response I’m like dude she’s not into you (despite literally being my girlfriend) and I spiral because I don’t wanna push it and end up losing her. Ultimately I just have to wait and see how it goes when we’re in the same city, and I just really like to remain optimistic or at least feign optimism.

But tonight like other nights I just sobbed, in bed, alone. I just miss her. I just hate transitional periods. I don’t want to fritter away these days because I’ve got cool shit coming that I might talk about another day. I just miss her.

I’m creating this blog because I want to diary again, but I also want to feel like maybe someone somewhere is hearing me too. Maybe that’s super immature. Idk stay tuned kids for more about my life

#my diary #vent post #tumblr diary #blog post

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willowlillysunnyday · 1 year

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what years of unmasking looks like

I, like many others during COVID-19, realised that something wasn’t quite right. I’d been struggling for years, trying to figure out what was going on with me mentally, having formal diagnoses of social anxiety and depression. But living by myself for three whole months, barely seeing anyone for such a long amount of time, really put things into perspective for me. If you, dear reader, by some miracle, haven’t experienced solitude as I and many others have, then allow me to take you on a journey of how I figured out that I have autism.

I was always the weird kid in school; I sat by myself, daydreamed in class, and had a too-specific interest in astronomy. Mrs Russell always gave me detention for zoning out in class, Thai would always tell me to go away once I got too annoying to hang out with her, and Aisha and Lauren would follow me around and call me a ‘lezbyund’. It’s like they all knew something I didn’t, and looking back on it now, they probably did. ‘Don’t do that,’ was a lesson I recalled too many times.

I suppressed as much of my behaviour as I could, learning what was and wasn’t acceptable to others with each passing year. I told no one of my obsessions with Minecraft and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, swallowed back any out-of-place thoughts threatening to bubble out, and kept myself at a distance from others lest the mask slip. And it did slip, on many occasions actually, and each time I’d feel the sting of awkward silences and the disturbed ‘Okayyyy’s. I even feel ashamed to remember keeping the mask up around my best friend, thinking that she, too, would reject me if she saw what I was really like.

(Rachel, you were silly, she’s just as cooky as you, and you literally live together now.)

Looking back on it now, school kids are assholes. Things change once you enter a more diverse, adult world; sexuality, gender expression, nationality, and disability. These, however, were all turbo-charged by the time COVID-19 hit its peak. Early 2021, I’m not only realising that I don’t feel like a girl, but all the learned behaviours I’d built up over the years were all starting to crumble. I’d have a set routine, I talked to myself often, and vocal and physical stims started to come out. While completely alone for three months, I also felt the freest. No one was around to tell me I was weird for chirping on the way to get snacks from the fridge, no one could look at me funny for rubbing at my nose when I got excited, and no one could judge me for how I chose to dress and do my makeup. I accumulated hyper focuses on Pokémon, Stardew Valley, Miraculous Ladybug, and then reawakened my obsession with Voltron from 2017. The mask was finally gone and I could be who I wanted to be; both in how I understood my gender but also where I was at mentally.

Fast forward two years, and I’ve been identifying as a genderqueer autistic since those three lonely months. As expected, the mask went up again once I moved to a new town, but there’s not a lot of pressure to keep it up as long. I learned quickly that my best friend, her boyfriend, and our old flatmate were all so similar, nothing was ever truly weird or annoying, and I never get a warning tingle of ‘don’t do that’ but I’ll admit some stims have yet to make an appearance. My current workplace is so accepting and supportive, even if I literally have a meltdown on shift but I’m glad that I feel safe enough there to do so. The old me would have bottled it up and let it get worse until I exploded.

(The first time I had a meltdown on shift, that was exactly what happened.)

I allow myself to feel upset when my routines are broken, I allow myself distance when I feel overwhelmed, and I allow those I’m close with to know what they can do to help. I would like to get a formal diagnosis; maybe someday when it’s more physically and financially accessible to do so. For now, I know my mind, I know how it works, I do my best to keep it in check where need be, and I know where I can let it run free. Since my rebirth two years ago, I’m different from the child who hid away behind a crude imitation of ‘normal’ to evade rejection. Sure, I still feel that sting, but who really gives a shit y’know?

#sunny speaks #autism #adhd #depression #social anxiety #article #journal #informal essay #about me #genderqueer #non-binary #LGBT #optimism #unmasking #masking

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xxdragonwriterxx · 4 years

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🔥Drunken Mishaps🔥

A/N: Hey guys! So as just a fun little extra to my stories, I’m going to add a music recommendation at the top of each of my fics like this! I just like to listen to music while I write and thought I might as well share some of my favs! Feel free to ignore this if you want, it’s just for fun! (Side Note: the songs may or may not have anything to do with the topic of the fics. They are just going to be random songs I like. Some of them might relate but others might not).

🐉 Song Recommendation: “One Night in Bangkok” By: Murray Head 🐉

~~~

(Y/N) grumbled to herself as she drove to the bar down the street from her apartment building, her movements stiff with frustration. She had told him several times to drive himself to the bar with his friends, knowing he would get bored halfway through and want to come back home, but Hanji and Erwin had insisted on carpooling together, bringing her grumpy flatmate Levi with them. She would’ve gone with them, but she had a big test the next day she needed to study for. Hence her frustration at being pulled from her study session to pick up her sour roommate when all of this could’ve been solved by simply having him drive alone.

(Y/N) parked and wasted no time in entering the surprisingly well kept establishment, the only bar that was clean enough for Levi’s standards, fuming as she made her way up to her friends.

“Oh hey, (Y/N)! Finally decided to join the party, huh?” Hanji asked when she saw the angry girl, making (Y/N) pause.

“Hanji…, you were the one who called me to tell me that Levi wanted a ride home because his phone was dead and he was bored. If this was all some trick to get me to come here, I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh no, no, no, nothing like that, I know how busy you are,” Hanji said, waving her hands in front of her. “I was just happy to see you, that’s all.”

(Y/N) growled something under her breath that all three of her friends ignored and stalked over to them, her eyes flashing when she caught sight of Levi leaning against the bar, slumped over in his seat.

“This is why I told you to drive yourself,” (Y/N) said by way of greeting when she finally reached them, slapping the wooden surface of the bar with her palm to emphasize her frustration.

To her surprise, the normally observant raven-haired man snapped his head up in shock with a quiet yell, almost as if he hadn’t known she was there, despite her being two feet in front of him.

“Levi? Are you okay?”

The sudden dazzling smile that broke out across his face left a very bewildered (Y/N) reeling, his eyes softening when they focused on her.

“Hey, princess! I was wondering when you’d finally meet me here. I missed you.”

(Y/N) let out a squawk of surprise when Levi suddenly latched onto her arm and pulled her into him, nuzzling his face into her neck and breathing in her scent as if he had done this a thousand times. Her blush intensified tenfold when she heard him quietly mumble, “so warm…” into her skin. Turning to Hanji and Erwin, who were struggling to hide their laughter behind their hands, (Y/N) gritted her teeth and silently wondered why she put up with them sometimes.

“You guys seriously had to get him drunk?” (Y/N) hissed.

“Well yeah!” Hanji said in between barely suppressed giggles. “He needed to relax, you know how he is, always so pent up all the time. He needed some time to really unwind so we challenged him to a drinking contest. You know how good I am at holding my liquor.”

“You better not be driving, Hanji…,” (Y/N) mumbled, still glaring at her friends.

“Oh don’t worry, I didn’t drink tonight, I just wanted to watch the chaos unfold,” Erwin said with a wink, wrapping a large arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders. “I’ll make sure we both get home safe and sound.”

Hanji beamed at her boyfriend before turning back to (Y/N), her grin widening. “Besides, he was being stubborn and wouldn’t admit his feelings for you even though it’s super obvious he loves you. So we decided to…, loosen his tongue a little.”

(Y/N) blushed but shook her head. She knew Levi had absolutely no interest in her, they had nothing in common. She was a psychology major while he was aiming to become an accountant, the two of them only meeting in their shared statistics class in the second semester of freshman year. They were only roommates because they worked well together, having done several projects together for their shared classes that ended in success, eventually leading to a surprisingly sturdy friendship between the two. He was sarcastic and grumpy while she was sassy and cheerful. He was cold and isolated while she was warm and confident. She had always found him undeniably attractive, but she knew that he would never look at her in the same way. He had even told her himself once that his attractions leaned more into the quiet, anti-social type, the kind of girls who were cold and reserved like him so he wouldn’t have to think of pretty words to say.

“Hanji, that’s stupid.”

“But true!” her friend cooed in a singsong voice, smiling even more when Levi suddenly wrapped his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, holding her tightly against him with a happy sigh.

“I’ve got to be honest (Y/N), when Hanji first brought it up, I didn’t think much of it either, but look at how he is acting now. And he’s only done that with you so far. Even drunk, when Hanji tried to give him a hug, he pushed her off of him, grumbling about how she wasn’t the one he was waiting for,” Erwin said, chuckling at the uncharacteristic behavior of the normally reserved young man.

“Guys, he’s only doing this because we share an apartment. We’ve sat together to watch movies before, he’s let me lean on him when I’ve had a long day at work or in class and needed a break, he’s sat in my bed beside me when helping me study and vice versa. He’s only latching onto me like this because I’m the only person he can remember being even remotely close to physically.”

“Sure, whatever you say (Y/N),” Erwin said, huffing a laugh at the thunderous look (Y/N) threw him.

“(Y/N), you seem so tense, are you feeling okay? I bet I can make it better, if you let me…,” Levi’s words stole (Y/N)’s attention away from Hanji and Erwin again, her eyes widening at the sight of Levi leaning in to caress her neck with his lips, even letting his tongue dart out to swirl along her soft skin, forcing a squeak from (Y/N)’s lips.

“Umm, Levi? Why don’t we continue this at home? I’ll ummm, drive us back to the apartment and then we can hang out there, okay?” (Y/N) said in hopes that he’d buy it and let her go long enough for her to bundle him into her car.

“Ooooh! Gonna continue at home, (Y/N)? Shameless.”

(Y/N) flipped Hanji off then, her blush turning her entire face red as her friends laughed at her expense. Levi groaned in frustration but peeled himself away from (Y/N), allowing her to help him to his feet and leaning on her once he was finally up. Praying that he wouldn’t vomit all over her, (Y/N) kept her movements slow as she told her friends goodbye and helped Levi to her car, stuffing him in the passenger seat before getting behind the wheel and pulling away from the bar.

Thankfully, Levi was mostly quiet on the drive home, keeping his hands to himself and merely looking out the window at the buildings that passed, only speaking to occasionally point out a pretty light he saw, or a dog being walked as their owner took advantage of the cool evening air to be outside. (Y/N) couldn’t help but giggle at his drunk antics, her traitorous heart thumping loudly in her chest when he flashed her a smile in response. She had never seen him smile so many times in one night, and it was getting harder and harder to keep her composure when those normally rare smiles were directed at her.

Although he kept mostly to himself in the car, (Y/N) was once again thrown head first into shock and embarrassment as soon as she had helped Levi into their apartment building, her roommate immediately clinging to her like a lost puppy.

“Mmmm, (Y/N),” Levi purred, rubbing his face into the space between her shoulder and her neck, making it hard for her to focus on getting the door unlocked. Her face was rivalling that of molten lava as he groaned, his eyelashes tickling her neck when his eyes fluttered closed. “You’re so soft…”

(Y/N) finally got the door open and shoved him inside, quickly locking the door behind them. Once she was sure the deadbolt was secure, she went to turn around only to find Levi pressed against her again, his tongue once more coming out to flick along her throat down to her collarbones, making (Y/N) freeze at the feeling.

“Gods kitten, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you,” Levi murmured in between licks and kisses.

“Levi, you were only out of the house for a few hours, we haven’t been away from each other that long.”

“That can’t be right,” Levi said with a shake of his head. “I’ve been waiting for you for years, not hours.”

Suddenly (Y/N) understood what he meant and felt the flames immediately rekindle in her cheeks. While part of her was overjoyed that he shared her affections, the other part of her knew it was too good to be true. He was drunk, he had no idea what he was talking about, he was just spewing bullshit, saying what the alcohol was telling him to say. Hell, for all she knew, he could be imagining she was a different woman entirely. He had yet to say her name, he could be thinking that she was someone else from one of his classes, and was using her to realize his fantasy since the star of his desires couldn’t be here.

“Levi, I don’t think you have the right person, you’re drunk and obviously not in the right state of mind, why don’t you just go to sleep so you can have a clear head in the morning?” (Y/N) said, trying to guide him to the couch.

“No, I know it’s you,” Levi said with a frown, leaning to drop another kiss on the dip between her collarbones, his lips lingering after he parted from her skin. “I’ve waited too long for this, I’d never mistaken you for anyone else. You’re the one I want.”

(Y/N) felt like squealing and crying at the same time but she swallowed both impulses.

“Levi, you’re dreaming. I’m not who you think I am, so stop kissing me. I’m the wrong person, and the last thing I want is to ruin our friendship because of some stupid drunk mishap!”

“No, I know you’re (Y/N). I could never forget you. I love you, there’s no way I’d ever not recognize you.”

(Y/N) breath hitched at his words, even when she had to suppress the smile that tried to appear on her lips when he gave a cute little hiccup after his impassioned speech. So he really was fantasizing about her. She wanted to leap on him and smother him with kisses but she held herself back. She knew better. Just as she had told her friends at the bar, this was all just some drunken whim spurred on by her close friendship and living situation with the young man, the alcohol taking advantage of his hazy memories to make her seem like some kind of long lost lover to him. She smiled as she thought about all of the teasing she was going to be able to do in the morning, even while her heart simultaneously broke at the thought of his disgusted face when he heard about kissing her when he was finally sober.

“Levi, you need to go to bed now. You’re going to need all the sleep you can get for when you have to deal with your hangover in the morning,” (Y/N) said. To her surprise, he stubbornly shook his head again.

“Not a chance. I finally get to have you after all this time. I’m not letting you leave this bed until you’re screaming my name.”

Gods, he was so far gone. (Y/N) opened her mouth to respond when all of a sudden, she felt his hips press into hers, her eyes widening almost comically when she felt his arousal nudge against her. Immediately, her entire face turned red, the color even creeping down to her neck and spreading out over her collarbones where Levi was still leaving small nip marks, soothing them over with his tongue before moving back up her throat.

“L-L-Levi!” (Y/N) squeaked.

His smirk against her skin made her spine tingle. “Now you’re starting to get the right idea.”

His words were followed by another hiccup, making (Y/N) snap out of it again. He’s drunk. He had no idea what he was saying and doing. As his roommate and friend, she knew he hadn’t had a lover in ages, at least not since he was dumped in his first semester of sophomore year. This was all just the result of the whiskey in his system combined with his pent up sexual frustrations, his body instinctively looking for an outlet. She just happened to be close by.

(Y/N) had to bite on her lip to keep from moaning as Levi dug his hips into hers again, his length pulsing a little through his pants as he ground against her, his panting moan sending her stomach into a state of butterflies. But this was wrong. Quickly pulling herself together, (Y/N) shoved aside her own needs and placed her hands on his chest just as he reached for her shirt.

“Levi, stop. You need to go to sleep.”

“(Y/N)? What are you-”

“Levi, it’s time to go to bed, come on.”

“(Y/N), wait! Please don’t leave me, I’m sorry if I was being too forward, I just want to show you how much I love you. If you aren’t ready-” He was interrupted by yet another hiccup. “If you’re not ready then we don’t have to take that step yet.”

(Y/N) felt the tears spring to her eyes, anger and sadness flooding her system. She knew he had no idea what he was doing, but she was starting to get tired of him toying with her feelings, even if it wasn’t on purpose. Gritting her teeth, (Y/N) ignored his protests and slapped his hands away, pushing him into his room.

Her heart clenched at the hurt look he gave her when she pushed his hands away but she ignored that too, pulling off his shirt, pants, and shoes, leaving him in his boxers, and tucked him into his bed. To her relief, his eyes finally started to flutter closed as she made sure the sheets were wrapped securely around his body. When she was finished getting him ready for bed, (Y/N) yawned and cast one last look at him before turning to leave, knowing her late night study session was already thrown out the window for the night, more than ready to just get to sleep.

His hand quickly grasping her wrist stopped her and she turned around to see a sad, lonely look on his face, one that made her want to kiss him until her lips turned blue.

“If you’re comfortable, will you stay with me tonight? E-Even if you don’t want me, I just want to h-hold you, even if it’s just for tonight.”

(Y/N) swallowed hard. She knew he was drunk but that clearly didn’t change how he was feeling at the moment, and it was clear he needed someone to be close to right now. Besides, he would have no right to be upset with her in the morning when he woke up to find her next to him, considering he was the one who asked her to stay.

Nodding her head, (Y/N) snatched one of his shirts and quickly changed in his adjourning bathroom, leaving her in just his shirt and her panties. She knew it wasn’t the most appropriate outfit at the moment, but she didn’t have the motivation to go back to her room to change. And again, he had asked her to stay with him, if he had a problem with her wearing comfy clothes to bed, then he could fuck off.

Slipping under the covers with him, (Y/N) had to force herself not to smile when Levi immediately clung to her, his arms looping around her neck and his leg throwing itself over her hip like he owned it as he buried his face in her chest, humming contentedly.

“Goodnight, Levi. You’re going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning,” (Y/N) said, leaning down to give him a quick, self-indulgent kiss on the forehead before settling down to sleep.

________________________________

Levi groaned in pain as the light from the window shone in his eyes, his pounding head doing nothing to help his already growing irritation. What had happened last night? He couldn’t remember anything, but something must’ve happened considering he felt like shit. He had an awful taste in his mouth and he felt like he was going to be sick. Lifting a hand to his face, he was massaging the bridge of his nose when a voice beside him made him freeze.

“Morning, Levi. Sleep well?”

“(Y/N)!!!” Levi cried out in shock, shooting up and scooting back to the edge of the bed in shock. “What the fuck are you doing in my bed!?”

“What? Don’t remember last night?” (Y/N) teased, her eyes flashing mischievously as she smiled.

“No! What the fuck did I do?” Levi asked, dread creeping into his belly as he scrambled to remember what had gone down the night before.

“Hmm, well, let’s see, first you went and got shit-faced with Erwin and Hanji, apparently it was some sort of drinking competition you and Hanji did. Then when Hanji called me to come get you, you kept nuzzling me and kissing my neck and calling me pet names. Finally, when we got back to the apartment, you kissed all over my neck and told me all about how I was finally going to be yours and you were going to make me scream your name. Oh! And you may or may not have, um…, ground against me,” (Y/N) said, her smile only growing wider at the horror on his face. She loved to tease him sometimes, and this time, it was a good distraction from her aching heart.

Levi, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to have a giant black hole swallow him up, making him disappear. Or to have a truck run him over. Or to slit his own throat. He knew going out with Eyebrows and Shitty Glasses had been a bad idea, but he had never expected it to go this downhill. He felt like throwing up, and this time it wasn’t just from what he now knew was a hangover. He was absolutely mortified. He had loved (Y/N) pretty much since the day they had met, his small little crush on her developing into full blown desire until he was head over heels for her. He had been looking for a way to tell her, his sanity starting to fray that the seams the longer he waited, but this was NOT how he had expected nor wanted her to find out. Then he suddenly remembered that she was here in bed with him in nothing but his shirt and some panties.

“I-I didn’t f-force you into anything, did I? We didn’t do anything, right?” Levi asked, cursing himself for stuttering.

(Y/N) immediately dropped her teasing manner and looked at him in shock and disbelief.

“Oh gods Levi, no! You were just drunk, that’s all. You were actually being really sweet for most of it, I’m only here because you said you didn’t want to be alone last night. That’s all, nothing happened between us. You’d never force yourself on me, and I’d never take advantage of you like that, when you were incapable of making your own decisions and retaining memory the next day.”

Levi sighed at that, relief washing over him. He didn’t think he could handle it if something like that had happened to (Y/N) and it had been his fault. Soon enough though, that relief was replaced with embarrassment again, his head falling into his hands with a groan as he prayed for someone to just end his misery.

“(Y/N), I am so sorry, I can’t believe I did something like that. Just forget it ever happened, okay? I promise, I will have Shitty Glasses’ head on a stake for this.”

“Does that mean you really didn’t mean it?” (Y/N) asked, the words slipping out before she could stop them. Levi’s head snapped up to look at her.

“What?”

“Nothing! Just ignore me, please.”

“No, did you just ask if I meant it?”

(Y/N) nodded her head slowly, her teeth reaching out to bite at her bottom lip, dragging the plump flesh in her nervousness, making Levi have to suppress a moan at her cute expression.

“Does that mean…, you maybe feel something similar?” Levi asked boldly, trying to ask her before the rest of his confidence faded away, his body practically trembling with the pressure.

(Y/N) hesitated before she nodded slowly again, her eyes darting around the room as she suddenly found the plain ceiling of his bedroom to be very fascinating. Then, his words really sank in. Something similar…

“Wait a minute, you have feelings for me? None of it was an act last night?”

“I don’t lie when I’m drunk, I actually become more honest. Usually to the point where I lose what little filter I have on my tongue. I meant every word of what I said last night, at least, just so long as all of them were about how much I care about you.”

(Y/N) could hardly breathe. She was just waiting to wake up and find Levi still asleep, or in the bathroom vomiting his guts up. This had to be a dream, her brain playing tricks on her.

“What?” (Y/N) asked, her voice shaky and breathless.

“I love you, (Y/N). I’m sober now, and I can tell you with full certainty that I love you. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last night, I wish I had gotten the chance to tell you in a more modest manner, but I guess that point is moot now. I love you, and I have for a long time.”

“Oh thank gods! I love you too,” (Y/N) sighed, launching herself at him to plaster her lips to his. Levi chuckled at her response and held her close as he deepened the kiss, groaning at the taste of her paired with the feeling of her body against his and her tongue fighting his for dominance.

Breaking away, (Y/N) gave Levi a coy smile that sent his heart pounding against his rib cage, his silver eyes staring at her intently as she ran a finger down his shirtless chest.

“You know, Levi. Now that I know we are both on the same page, and you’re sober now, do you think I could take you up on the offer you gave me last night for a certain activity you had planned?” (Y/N) asked, a different kind of teasing tone in her voice, her hues sparkling as she eyed the light dusting of pink that accented his cheeks.

Levi growled, his chest swelling with love and pride as he looked at the woman he had wanted for so long. Arousal immediately stirred in his loins at her words, but his hands were gentle as they wrapped around her hips and dragged her into his lap.

“Fuck yes, now that I’ll remember it, I’ll do anything you ask,” Levi purred, looking into her eyes for one last confirmation of permission before swooping down to devour her lips with his own.

The two were so mixed up in each other that neither of them noticed both of their phones go off on the bedside table, two messages sent to each of them from a certain four-eyed freak and tall ass tree that read:

“You’re welcome.”

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whocalledhimannux · 3 years

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@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

#queen's thief #attolia irene #kamet #costis ormentiedes #sophos #eugenides #teleus #eddis helen #laela #oh dear I bet her tag is virtually unsearchable #sorry laela

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mae-gi-writes · 4 years

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Somebody Loves You | Kevin Moon (The Boyz Imagine)

Bandmates au! in which Kevin finally realizes that the love he’s looking for is standing right here beside him.

Genre: angst, fluff at the end, friends to lovers au, bandmates au.

Words: 1.6k-ish?

------

All she could remember were the tears on his face.

And then, then came the heartbreak. Along with that, the sad songs bouncing off his piano keys like soulful siren singing melodies about the dead and haunting her in her sleep. The floor was always littered with crumbled paper and when Y/N had enough courage to smooth one out, realized that they were nothing more than lyrics singing of a broken heart.

The break up had come unexpectedly. A quick slap in the face, as she liked to call it. But after that day, Kevin was never the same. Oh he tried, tried his best to fake it behind a cracked mask that always managed to crumble half-way throughout the day, but Y/N knew him like the back of her hand, knew exactly the slightest microscopic expressions that shifted in his face, which made her even more aware of his countenance every single time.

One time, she found him curled up on the corner of the couch in their small practice room -- tucked away in one of the school’s back buildings that nobody ever ventured to -- with tears cascading down his face in crystal translucent jewels, carving paths along his cheeks and dripping off his jaw as he kept his eyes averted from her own.

“Kevin,” Y/N sighed, before plopping herself down next to him, “did you eat?”

The young man shook his head. Of course he hadn’t. Nothing much interested him these days.

She made a frustrated sound, “you can’t keep doing this to yourself, you know.”

“It hurts,” came his murmur, words choked with tears.

“I know it does Kev, but--” Y/N’s hand landed on his shoulder in a soft, warm caress, “you have to move on. She has.”

He sniffled for a few minutes more. Then, he wiped his nose with his shirt sleeve, gladly accepting the tissue she provided him upon noticing his struggle, “thanks,” he merely mumbled, a breath of words so quiet and weak she feared he might break in two.

“Come on,” Y/N’s hands went to cup his face before pulling up the corner of his lips with her thumbs. She grinned at him, “smile. Come on, it’s not the end of the world. You have me.”

A tear-filled chuckle escaped his chest, “yeah,” the corners of his lips tugged up slightly, “yeah I know.”

The next few weeks were swamped in a constant routine of practice and attending lectures whenever they weren’t too wiped out afterwards, which Kevin accepted the distractions with open arms. Slowly but surely, Y/N watched his expressions clear, his eyes getting lighter and lighter, chuckles coming a little easier to him now, and smiles gracing his face more often times than not. It was relieving, to say the least. Y/N’s heart couldn’t help but jump up in happiness whenever she remembered how far he’d come from the broken mess Kevin once was, though these facts were things she kept hidden like a secret she would carry to her grave.

She’d never tell him; how he’d stolen her heart, and that now she was his entirely if he wanted. No. She couldn’t, never had even before he even started dating his ex back then.

So imagine her shock when Kevin bounded up to her after her Marketing class to tell her:

“Miha texted me.”

Y/N blinked for a few seconds. The name was enough to make her stomach drop.

“What?” a frown fell like a dark shadow over her face, “What did she say? What did she want?”

He shuffled from one feet to another, clearly sensing the unfriendliness emanating from the girl before him, "well, she said a lot of stuff...about how she misses me. And how she wants to talk to me, clear things up because they way we left it was--" his words stopped short upon noticing the scowl spreading over Y/N's face faster than he could utter Miha's name. Instead, he asked, "what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're not going to meet her, are you?" Were the only words that she managed to splutter out of the multitudes of protests ringing through her mind.

"Well," he scratched the back of his head, looking strangely embarrassed, "I don't know, I thought maybe I should go, we didn't have any closure and--"

"Are you insane?"

Kevin blinked, "no, I just thought--"

"She broke your heart," Y/N shook her head and her fists impulsively clenched at her sides in hopes that she wouldn't sock him one. Frustration flared through her, "she broke up with you and left you in this mess by yourself. You-- You were terrible Kev, you weren't eating and you barely slept. Why would you want to go back to that?" She searched his eyes, attempted to seek out what was going on inside his brain, "why would you?"

"Look Y/N," she watched as Kevin's expression hardened, "I'm really grateful for you, I am. But it's no big deal, okay? It's just a lunch to talk things over."

"Just a lunch?" She laughed, though it sounded empty, "there's no such thing as 'just a lunch'. "

"Why do you even hate her so much? She didn"t do anything to you--"

"You know what? No." Y/n threw her hands in mock surrender, "you do what you want. I'm done. I want no part in this."

"What's wrong with you?" Kevin's voice rose with his anger. It was clear that he was just as rattled as she was, "why are you acting like it's such a big deal?"

How dare he say that.

Anger vibrated through her chest. Invaded her lungs.

Suddenly, it gelt all too hard to breathe.

How dare he, when all she had done was be there for him? When she had vaught him with open arms and nursed his bruised heart back to life.

How dare he.

"How dare you," her voice shook with restrained anger, "how dare you say that when all I've done was for your sake?"

"Y/N I didn't mean--"

"Yes you did!" She cut him off with a yell as tears pooled from the corner of her eyes, "you meant every single word and I'm not having any more of it! You--" she let out a slow, shaky breath through her mouth, body practically vibrating with rage, "you don't even see me, not in the way that I do.”

"What do you mean--"

"I love you, alright?" Her hand tugged at her hair, "I always did, Kev. And seeing you so broken, I hated myself for it. It hurt me as much as it did for you. I'm not going to stick around just to see it happen again."

And before waiting for Kevin to answer back Y/N swivelled on her heel and marched away with her head held high, even as tears wlowly dropped down her cheeks and her heart shook every step along the way.

For the next few weeks, Y/N aboided Kevin at all costs.

Not only was she swimming in huge embarrassment at the prospect of having confessed her somewhat undying love for him, but it did not help matters that she couldn't erase the image of his closed-off, hardened expression as they argued back and forth.

--------

It was obvious whom he'd chosen to side with. Y/N wasn't supposed to feel bitter -- actually hated herself for being so petty -- but she couldn't help it. It was like his presence was a ghost that haunted her every day life, a constant reminder that he wasn't here anymore.

So Y/N avoided the band practice room like the plague, skipped classes they shared, so much so that their drummer -- a cute quirky freshmen who went by the name of Eric -- decided to confront her right as she was about to exit her statistics course.

"Why aren't you coming to band practice lately?" Eric asked as he followed Y/N's footsteps echoing down the hall, "something's wrong. You wouldn't be acting this way otherwise. Tell me."

"Nothing's wrong," she muttered while dragging her feet, attempting not to scowl at the wall before her.

"Sure, of course nothing's wrong," Eric rolled his eyes, "that"s why you're sulking like a five year old child."

"Just leave me alone."

"Is this about Kevin?"

She stayed quiet. Reacting to his statement would just confirm his suspicions.

"It is, isn't it?" Eric continued while the girl struggled to keep her face void of emotion, "he's been acting all weird too. Hasn't been practicing as much, and apparently he's still talking to that ex of his-- which, by the way, I do not approve of -- but he looks off, Y/N. Like he doesn't even want to hang out anymore."

"Not my problem."

"Y/N," a hand fell upon her shoulder then. Eric squeezed her softly, "I'm not stupid. I know you guys fought for whatever reason. But for my sake, please come back. Come and and talk to him," he paused, then added a soft, "please."

Usually, a few prods from Eric here and there would prompt Y/N to make the first move. But not this time. She wasn't about to apologize to Kevin for having done nothing wrong. If anything, she was the one who should be apologized to!

Instead, Y/N took this chance to call up her mother who laid just a few hours away in the suburbs, asking if there was any possibility for a visit. A break would do her some good and by the older woman's delighted tone on the other side of the line, Y/N guessed that it would please her mother just as much. The older woman didn't hesitate to gush at the many dishes she would prepare for her only daughter, prompting Y/N to smile despite all the circumstances.

Trust her mother to make her feel loved when nobody else could.

And so, it was a few days later when Y/N packed her things for the weekend. She ambled out into the shared common room, bid a casual goodbye to her flatmates, before starting towards the train station, her heart already lifting with hope with every step that brought her closer to home.

Only for that hope to shatter when a familiar alto burst through the air.

"Y/N!"

Turning towards the sound, the said girl's eyebrows stitched into a frown upon noticing Kevin's figure running up to her as if he was the one about to his miss train.

"What do you want--" she didn't even have time to finish her sentence when Kevin's arms snatched her over to his chest, one of his hands weaving into her hair before he tilted his head and crashed his mouth down onto hers.

"Wha--" the words choked up in the back of her throat as Kevin moved his lips onto her own in the most sensual dance with a desperate, almost aggressive need. His hand at her waist tightened, slipping underneath her shirt and causing her to gasp, electric tingles shooting up her spine.

He kissed her with ardour, with a passion she didn't know he possessed. He kissed her until her knees felt weak and until her head spun deliciously from his attacks; mouth suckling onto her bottom one, nibbling at the skin and -- impulsively -- Y/N couldn't help but kiss back.

A growl vibrated through his chest at her response and she almost fell, pliant in his arms. His tongue pushed at her mouth, delving in without warning and eliciting a soft whimper from the said girl as her own arms slithered their way up his shoulders and into his hair.

He was everywhere. His scent. His taste. He tasted so familiar and warm and just--just Kevin.

She hadn't realized that they'd been moving until her back collided with the cold, cemented wall of her apartment building, the contrast of its iciness and Kevin's warmth sending another surge of hot desire through her chest.

"Don't leave me," Kevin breathed through multiple kisses, his voice hoarse and rough from their kiss, "don't leave. I'm sorry."

It took ever ounce of Y/N's brain cells to figure out what he was sorry for.

"For what?" She mumbled against his mouth.

He drew back with a soft sigh and a whine almost crawled up her throat at the loss of heat. Pressing their foreheads together, noses touching, he murmured, "for everything. For not listening to you, for not seeing you, I-- I was so stupid for taking you for granted and it's only when you walked out on me that I realized--" he exhaled shakily, "that I realized how much...how much I loved you."

Closing her eyes to let his words wash over her wounds, she felt like pinching herself.

It didn't seem real.

Kevin didn't seem real.

And as though she yearned for that clarification herself, her hand reached up to press her palm against his cheek.

The man's eyes closed, taking in the feel of her skin, her warmth, against him.

And when he opened them once more to find her brown orbs swimming with flecks of sudden affection, he couldn’t help but lean forward again.

"I'm sorry," he pecked her mouth chastely, "I'm sorry," his kisses trailed over her jaw, up her cheek while he kept on muttering a string of apologies that caused a troop of butterflies to flutter through her stomach. Her hands fisted through his shirt unconsciously as Kevin continued showering her face in a rain of kisses that left her heart cartwheeling in her chest, heat springing through her cheeks at the way their bodies practically molded into each other.

His firmness pressed against her curves. Sensual heat pooled at the bottom of her stomach.

“Please just--” Kevin’s alto broke at the last word, “just don’t leave.”

To be fair, she wasn’t actually leaving for good. But it seemed like Kevin had understood it all upside down, for he thus nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck and hugged her close as though fearing that she might disappear at any given moment.

She took a deep, shaky breath. Let it out slowly through her teeth, “I’m not going anywhere, Kev.”

She felt him pause, “why are you all packed then?”

“I’m just going to visit my mom for the weekend.”

Another pause. Then:

“Oh.”

Silence.

“Oh. Fuck.”

Laughter bubbled straight out of Y/N’s lips the moment Kevin lurched back to gaze at her with wide-eyed panic reminiscent to that of a young deer in the headlights. He was just too adorable for his own good and while she pitied the fact that Eric had merely dramatized the situation of her leaving, she was grateful. Kevin would never have acted so impulsively if he wasn’t desperate.

And now, she knew that these feelings were actually reciprocated.

“Stop,” Kevin brought her back, pecking at a spot right underneath her jaw as she kept on laughing, “stop laughing. It’s not funny!”

“Oh my-- Oh my god. You thought I was leaving for good, weren’t you?” Y/N tried, and failed, numerous times to force the laughter down though it was proving to be quite difficult.

Her heart felt so much lighter than just a few minutes ago. It was soaring through clouds, literally floating up to the heavens in happiness.

“I got scared okay?!” Kevin prodded at her tummy, face dropping into a pout, “I thought you were never going to come back because of--because of what happened.”

“I’m not that dramatic.”

“I know, I’m usually the drama queen.”

“So,” a teasing smile lifted at the corners of Y/N’s lips. Her eyes narrowed towards his, mischief dancing in her eyes, “you love me, do you?”

“You’re never going to let me hear the end of it, are you?”

“Nope,” she singsonged, “it’s too adorable to forget.”

“Hmph,” Kevin groaned slightly and she shivered at the contact of his lips against her collarbone. He lifted his head to kiss her cheek softly, mouth traveling over to land on her lips then, “as long as I get a girlfriend out of it, I’m okay with that.”

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winryofresembool · 3 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 30

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: At Waystation, pt 3/?

A/N: Chapter 30 already! This chapter was not an easy one to edit as I was insecure about a lot of things, but hey, it's out now and that's what matters, right? I am so aware things are progressing a bit slowly right now but I feel it's kind of 'necessary' to have a bit of down time before things start going down. (Not that I'm capable of writing actual drama.) Well, at least we'll find out a bit more about Leo's past in this chapter.

Without a further ado, please enjoy and let me know what you think (those comments really help me!!!)

Words: exactly 3000 apparently :O

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

After breakfast Leo asked Calypso if she would like him to give her a tour around Waystation. She agreed, but Leo couldn’t help but raise his eyebrow at his family members when Georgina asked if she could go with the flatmates and Leo’s mothers told her that they needed Georgie’s help in some Christmas chores.

“What?” Josephine asked innocently when she noticed Leo staring.

“I dunno, tía Jo. It just kinda seems like you don’t want Georgie to hang out with us,” he stated bluntly.

“That’s not accurate at all, Leo,” she denied. “I’d gladly let Georgina go with you but we really do need her help around here. Christmas isn’t coming if we all just slack off, right, Emmie?”

“I agree, dear. I haven’t even…” Emmie’s hesitance only deepened Leo’s suspicions. “...hmmm, taken care of our mistletoes yet.”

“Mistletoes?” Leo crossed his arms over his chest, briefly daring to wonder what would happen if he and Calypso were under one of those plants at the same time. He shook his head to dispel such an idea.

“Didn’t we agree that we don’t need stuff like that? You don’t even like Christmas!”

“I may agree that this holiday is way too commercial these days, but since Emmie has some mistletoes growing in her greenhouse anyway, I don’t see why we wouldn’t use them,” Jo commented. “It’s nice that Georgie gets to experience some of the old traditions even if we grownups don’t care about them.”

“Whatever,” Leo rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t win that battle.

“Um, if you need extra hands,” Calypso joined the conversation, addressing Jo and Emmie, “I don’t have to go with Leo. I’d love to help too.”

Leo felt a twinge of disappointment because of Calypso’s suggestion. His insecure side yelled that maybe he had misread Calypso’s intentions all along.

“Oh, no, no!” Emmie denied immediately. “You are our guest; we want you to take it easy and enjoy your stay here. I bet Leo’s tour is a lot more fun than us peeling way too many potatoes and carrots for the casserole.”

“I wouldn’t mind peeling potatoes,” Calypso mumbled but Leo’s mothers pretended they didn’t even hear that. The flatmates simply had to accept that they wouldn’t have a chaperone - except maybe Festus - on their tour.

Once the two of them were outside, Leo’s thoughts went back to the time when he had first arrived at Waystation. Back then, he had been only 15, having just escaped from his latest foster home, which had been located far away in New Mexico. His foster family there had hidden their opinion on him very badly, giving him sly remarks about his looks and telling him to speak clearer English even though Leo’s English had always been fine, thanks to his real mother allowing him to learn both Spanish and English as a small kid. They had also made him do the hard work such as carrying heavy loads while the other foster kid of the family got the easy tasks. And when he had come home from school with bad grades, the foster parents had commented: “why do we even bother with you?”

At some point Leo had simply had enough, and by selling some of the few belongings he had he had managed to gather just enough money for one plane ticket and so he flew to Indianapolis without telling anything to his foster family.

After living on the streets and successfully dodging the authorities for a couple of weeks, the police finally found him and contacted the local social workers. Thankfully, after Leo put all his convincing skills to use, they agreed to not send him back to New Mexico, instead finding him a new foster family nearby. Leo hadn’t had high expectations because he had been in at least 6 different foster homes since his mother’s death and none of them had been a good match for him. Some had been abusive, some racist, some ignorant, some had had kids who were bullies, some had had alcohol issues… What had been common for them all was that none of them had treated him the way they should have.

That was why Leo had picked some bad habits too; he wanted to drown his feelings somehow and he ended up stealing small amounts of money from his foster family so he could buy alcohol from his older homeless ‘friends’. He had hated how it made him feel afterwards, but it had been the only way he had known how to deal with his issues. At some point he had even had suicidal thoughts because the guilt and trauma from his childhood got so bad he woke up covered in sweat after the same old fire filled nightmare almost every night. And going from foster home to foster home and feeling like none of those people cared what he really did with his life definitely didn’t help him regain his feeling of self worth. He had no future, no plans, no real friends or family and nowhere to go.

Luckily, during his worst phase in his last foster home someone from his homeless group mentioned having a relative in Indiana and that he was hoping to move there at some point in hopes of getting a new start for his life. That idea sparked something in Leo’s mind and when he started planning his big escape, Indianapolis was the first place that he thought of.

When he finally met Jo and Emmie, he was surprised. Seeing them spending time with their then 5-year-old adoptive daughter, he could tell that these women genuinely cared about the little girl and did everything for her wellbeing. Not only that, Jo was a mechanic just like Leo’s real mother and they had also other things in common. With some patience and showing that they cared, simply by making sure that Leo ate, rested and had something to do with his time other than dwelling on his sad past, they eventually won him over. And when Leo discovered thanks to Jo’s help that he himself had the skills to become a mechanic someday as well, he finally had a goal to reach and studying wasn’t quite as big a struggle for him anymore.

Soon, however, Leo became afraid that Jo and Emmie wouldn’t want to keep him around because he still had some bad days when he literally had to be dragged from his bed. He was also worried that maybe the women had heard what he had done in his past and were silently judging him. Instead, they surprised him by telling him that they wanted to officially adopt him much like Georgina because he was a part of their family now. As an added bonus they assigned him for therapy sessions, which really helped and the days when he didn’t want to do anything became less and less. Leo knew he was still a work in progress but this family had helped him so much and he had found his purpose, his home, at Waystation.

Calypso had naturally noticed Leo’s silence so eventually she asked:

“Are you OK? You’re being unusually quiet.”

“Oh, yeah, just dandy!” Leo exclaimed, trying to act more like his usual self. “I was just thinking about the times when I first moved in here.”

“Really? Do you want to tell me more about that?” Calypso asked curiously.

“I guess it won’t hurt.” Leo shrugged. “I don’t remember if I’ve told you that I was in a lot of foster homes before I got here. Well, my last foster parents were really shitty people and I was this close to… I dunno, doing something desperate. So I decided to just leave and ended up here in Indianapolis. I, um, was homeless for a bit but when the social workers got me into their hands they found me a new family, Jo and Emmie. At first they were supposed to only foster me for a time being but they ended up adopting me instead. I… haven’t told this to anyone, but they probably saved my life by doing that. The Leo from that time was far from the Super-Sized McSizzle that I am now,” he attempted to joke, but Calypso ignored that. Instead, she said:

“I’m sorry you had to go through that… but I’m glad you opened up about it to me.” Leo’s heart did an extra jump when he saw Calypso smiling at him supportingly. He would never get used to that. “And I’m glad Jo and Emmie adopted you.”

“Yeah, me too… When I first saw the place I was like, ‘wow, I wish I could stay here’. Obviously the people here are awesome - they are my family - but that wasn’t the only thing the 15-year-old me cared about. The cars and other machines Jo was fixing? So cool. I had only seen something like that at my childhood home and the nostalgia hit me like ‘boom’ right away.”

“I should have known it was the machines that convinced you to stay here,” Calypso teased, but Leo knew her already too well to get provoked by that.

“Nah. I mean, they’re neat and all, but Jo and Emmie did the actual convincing.”

“Okay, I believe you. So, was Jo’s garage what made you want to become a mechanical engineer?” Calypso asked.

“I guess the spark was always there but it took me a while to convince myself that I should try to pursue that goal. But when I started going to school again regularly – long story, don’t ask – I noticed that the sciences were easy for me, I was also decent enough at drawing – which of course helps with the blueprints and stuff – and Jo let me try fixing some of the simpler machines she had and turned out I wasn’t half bad. It was Jo and Emmie who kept pushing me to apply for the uni, though, because they believed in me more than I did. I’m thankful that they did it but… sometimes I still doubt...” Leo hadn’t talked about his insecurities even to his adoptive mothers so he felt that the fact that he was able to open up about it to Calypso was a big deal.

“I’ve seen you fix countless items,” Calypso said slowly. “I’ve noticed that you’re always… so different when you’re fiddling with your machines. More relaxed. Calmer. Surer of what you do. And your eyes sparkle and you hum some old school rock song while you work and I can just tell that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

Leo had to avert his eyes from her because he was afraid he would do something stupid like cry if he looked at her too long in that moment. No matter how encouraging his family, friends and the therapist were… it was still hard to get used to the compliments. And if he was honest to himself, he probably valued Calypso’s opinion more than anyone else’s at that point.

“Wow… umm… I don’t know how to answer that…” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“A simple thank you would probably do,” Calypso replied. “But know that I mean what I say. Now, how about you show me that famous garage?”

Leo did as he was told. He introduced Calypso to all the tools and machinery they used to fix whatever item the customer happened to bring in. He had a feeling that Calypso probably didn’t have any idea what he was talking about half the time because he tended to get very technical with the terms when he got excited, but she still seemed content listening to him. At least she wasn’t telling him to stop, which was definitely a plus.

To Leo’s surprise, Calypso went to the table where he and Jo used to draw their blueprints and asked him if she could see how he did it because she hadn’t seen his blueprints before. He complied, taking a pencil and a piece of blank paper from the stack and looking at Calypso questioningly.

“What do you want me to draw, then? I may have some experience on this but even I need some ideas first…”

“You can draw whatever you like. How about Festus?” Calypso requested.

“Festus?” Leo tapped the pencil against his chin for a moment, considering Calypso’s request. “Hmm, as you wish, Sunshine.”

He started making fast, swift motions on the paper and it didn’t take him very long to finish the sketch. Sure, the lines were a bit rough, but Calypso told him she was very impressed by how accurately he remembered even the little details, such as a dark spot on Festus’ back, how the tail curved when he was happy, and how he was missing a tiny piece of the tip of his left ear.

Leo felt a bit embarrassed by the praise. “It just comes with me hanging out with him so much. Nothing more to it, really.” He looked at the sketch for a moment. “Hold on, I feel like this is missing something. Can you look towards that window for a moment?”

“What, why?” Calypso asked, but turned anyway.

“Just adding something real quick,” Leo replied and started sketching again. He wondered if it was the lighting of the room but he thought Calypso’s cheeks seemed a bit darker than usual and she kept looking at the floor shyly. When he realized that he’d probably feel the same way if she was drawing him, he himself got flustered and decided to try to finish the drawing as quickly as possible. Within minutes he had drawn her next to Festus, playing with him, wearing the same holiday sweater and jeans she currently was.

“Can I see?” Calypso asked.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Leo gave the picture to her. “It’s not detailed or anything but I tried.”

Calypso kept staring at it for a moment. “Leo… this looks great! I mean, I don’t think I am that pretty but I am quite amazed that you managed to do this that fast!”

Leo wanted to say that there was no way the picture did her justice but he knew that would be a never ending debate so instead he told her: “It’s the experience, Sunshine. When you draw hundreds of blueprints you learn to be fast.”

Calypso turned her attention to the drawing again. “Can I get it?” she asked after a while.

“Why?”

“Because Festus looks cute, you weirdo. That’s a good enough reason, right?”

“Fine, you can have it. I’m not sure where I’d put it anyway.” Leo shrugged. He wasn’t sure why Calypso possibly hanging the picture on her wall made him feel a bit weird. In a good way, though.

Once the two of them left the garage, Leo pointed at a smaller building next to the ‘main’ one. A couple of pointy ears were peeking from the upstairs windows. “That’s where our foster animals live. I think the kid me wished on some level that I could have a pet but my mom could never afford one… but Jo and Emmie have been fostering rescue cats and dogs even before I got here. One of them was Festus’ mum; she was pregnant when she arrived here. When she had her puppies, I noticed that one of them was a bit of an outsider and we instantly formed a bond. Jo and Emmie allowed him to stay here even though he sure would have had adopters.”

“That was really sweet of them,” Calypso commented. “Can we see who’s in there right now?”

“Sure but we should probably let Emmie know about it because she’s pretty strict about who can go in. She may ask us to wear ‘bunny suits’; some of the animals may be sick and we don’t wanna spread the bugs around.”

“No problem, let’s go see her then.”

When Emmie heard what Leo and Calypso were about to do, she promised to stop her Christmas chores for a while so she could show them (mainly Calypso) around in the rescue house. Currently she was fostering two young puppies who had been found on the streets without their mother, a mother cat with her 4 kittens who were getting close to their adoption age, and an older cat with some kidney issues who seemed to however adore the little kittens.

Leo was watching Calypso’s reactions closely as Emmie was introducing her to the kittens. Soon one of the braver kittens climbed on the girl’s lap, giving her a tiny ‘meow’ and then started nuzzling against her sleeve.

“Aww, look Leo! He loves me,” Calypso exclaimed, smiling widely as the kitten started purring loudly on her lap while she pet him. ‘He’s not the only one,’ Leo thought in his mind. Aloud he asked: “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I guess because I’ve never really handled cats so I didn’t know how they’d react to me…” Calypso noted more seriously. But then the happiness returned to her face. “You know, this one reminds me of you! He also has long, black hair like you and fierce eyes.”

“Fierce?” Leo raised his eyebrow. “That’s what you think of me?”

Calypso seemed to want to explain but with Emmie in the room she didn’t go to details. “Um, maybe? Hey, look! Another one is coming!”

This time a small ginger kitten was approaching her and Calypso extended her arm so the kitten could sniff her. The group kept making small talk about the cats in the room and continued snuggling them, but Leo’s eyes were on Calypso the whole time. He could see how happy she was about such a simple thing as kittens and it made him feel lighter, warmer again, even though he had just remembered some very bad times a few moments earlier. Maybe all of it had been meant to happen, he wondered briefly. After all, it led him here, to his family… and Calypso.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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narcissasdaffodil · 4 years

Text

Flufftober 2020

Day 10: Cooking

Writing this one from the same uni verse as two of these are currently.

“Hi, I was wondering if you would want to come over for food? It’s fine if you’re busy, but most of my flatmates are out so pretty much got the kitchen to myself.” Alecto read aloud the text in front of her, checking it through before she sent it off to Marisol, and sent it. She sat on the sofa, trying to find something to watch and ultimately failing. Why is there absolutely nothing on certain days of the week, anyway?

“Thank you, you’ve saved me from dealing with the state the kitchen is currently. Abby and I are the only people who clean up after ourselves, the rest of my flatmates are animals. I’ll be over in 10 ish minutes and let you know when I’m outside.” Marisol sent her a text back very quickly, which caused Alecto to laugh slightly. Wow. Both her and Abby have definitely drawn the short straw in terms of flatmates. You’re lucky, you mostly get along with everyone in your flat.

The kitchen was pretty quiet, meaning that Alecto jumped when she heard voices coming down the hallway. The door opened and someone flopped down next to her. She looked up to spot her flatmate Olivia.

“Still nothing on, then? Maybe try Netflix or watching a film? Also I bumped into Marisol as I was coming back, as you can probably tell.” Olivia grinned, curling up her long limbs into a ball and resting her chin on her knees. “Wait, did I make you jump? Oops.” She tapped the sofa, looking up at Marisol, who was still standing and moving from foot to foot, looking uneasy. “You can sit down if you want, we don’t bite or anything.”

Alecto put the remote down on the coffee table and put her other stuff in a neat stack on it, making her way to her feet and struggling slightly to get out of the low brown sofa. “Maybe you’ll have a bit more luck than me? Also you made me jump, but everyone does! It’s not just you doing that. Is pasta fine? Got pasta sauce I need to finish somehow. Also, Marisol, you can sit down, just relax. You’re a guest here,and guests don’t have to do the cooking. I don’t mind doing the cooking, I’ve been very bored the entire day so I need to do something to save me going crazy.” She retrieved pasta sauce from the fridge, setting it on the counter and putting the kettle on to boil for pasta. She found herself humming slightly as she waited, eventually retrieving her phone and a speaker and putting music on low, putting her playlist on shuffle. She went to her room to retrieve her pasta, making Olivia laugh when she came back with the massive bag.

“There’s still a pasta thief hanging about, then? How much food do you have stored in your room, anyway?” Olivia teased her slightly, flashing her a bright grin.

“Hmm, that would be telling. You’ll forever live in suspense regarding the amount of food in my room. As for the pasta thief, definitely. Keep your pasta in your room, otherwise don’t come complaining to me if it goes on a walk!” She smiled back, her grin reaching her eyes. She tapped her nose and promptly winked, pouring the water into a saucepan with 3 portions of pasta. Wait, Marisol’s a little quiet. Which is a bit off, she’s not usually this quiet.

She finishes sorting out the pasta and jumps out of her skin when Marisol appears beside her. She felt her feet leave the floor for a little bit, literally making herself jump, and she placed a hand to her heart, which was racing. “Wow, you scared me! Are you okay, you seem a bit quieter than usual.” Her tone turned serious, and she rested her arm around Marisol’s shoulders.

“It’s nothing much, just flatmate stuff. If I wasn’t with Abby, I’d ask for a room move, but I don’t want to leave her, that wouldn’t be nice. They keep having late night parties and I have the bad luck of the room right next to the kitchen, so it’s hard to sleep, which isn’t helpful when I have a 9am lecture. I hear them gossiping about me and Abby a lot, and it’s wrong. It’s not like any of them even tried to get to know either of us before they judged us. I don’t understand how partying this often is enjoyable and how they can attend lectures after drinking the night before. On top of that, they leave the kitchen in a state after parties and they don’t listen when we ask them to clean up. It keeps getting worse also.” Her voice was soft and she stared at the floor in front of her.

“Hang on. Liv, is there still two free rooms next to you? As we had people move rooms in the first two weeks. If so, we could try asking if both of you could switch floors. That might solve the issue.” Alecto’s eyes lit up as she had a brain wave, and called over to Olivia.

“You...you’d do that? Why? We don’t even know each other that well.” Marisol looked back at her, looking a little confused.

“Abby’s my best friend. And she’s very picky with people she chooses to befriend and I like you. I do see you as a friend, Abby has definitely talked to me about you a lot. I do accidentally scare people off with the way I am naturally and it does take a lot for me to befriend people too, but I like you. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t mean it, anyway.” She turned to the pasta, stirring it with a fork to stop it sticking, then transferred the sauce to a bowl and warming it up in the microwave.

“Yep, there’s definitely two free rooms. It would be nice to have an even number of girls and guys to be honest, 5 guys to 3 girls can get a bit overwhelming at times. We do all get on, mostly anyway, which is a slight miracle.” Olivia called back from her position in front of the TV.

“Liv, could you get all of your crap off the table please? We kind of need that to eat.” Alecto called over. Marisol nearly went to help, until Alecto grabbed her hand gently.

“You’re a guest. Guests don’t have to do anything. All I want you to do is just stay with me here. Even if some of it is yours, Livia is very much capable of moving it herself.” Alecto said, her voice gentle and she smiled at Marisol, her heart fluttering slightly when the other girl returned the smile for the first time this evening.

She drained the pasta and served it into bowls, topping it with sauce, and putting cutlery neatly in each. She tried to balance all 3 bowls, but Marisol grabbed one before she could.

“Dont overload yourself, you’ve only got two hands. Let me help just this much.” Marisol said. To Alecto’s surprise, Marisol’s cheeks were slightly flushed. She ignored it, moving towards the table and setting down the bowls. Hang on! Drinks! Oh dear, can’t believe you forgot those. She stood up again, just as Olivia retrieved a giant Coke bottle and 3 glasses from behind the sofa, and opened the fizzy drink, pouring it into glasses. Alecto found herself staring at the bottle.

“How did you know that was there?” She was more than a little bit confused.

“That’s where I left it after my lecture. I was planning to move it when I got back, but forgot. I don’t know why I thought behind the sofa would be a good spot for it, but oh well. It doesn’t really matter, right?” Olivia laughed and nudged her gently to sit down again. Okaayy. That’s definitely odd, but don’t comment further on it. “I can practically see the cogs in your brain turning around. Don’t overthink it, it’s only a bottle behind the sofa.” Olivia laughed again.

To prevent further comments, Alecto readied a spoonful of the pasta, hoping she wasn’t blushing too much about the situation. She blew on it, and tried it. It was great, especially after accidentally skipping lunch. Everyone around the table fell silent, transfixed by the food in front of them. There was no sound apart from music.

“This is amazing! It’s obvious why I didn’t put up a fight about you taking over.” Olivia winked.

“Well...you’re the one who messed up while cooking popcorn in the microwave at 2am, and caused the fire alarm to go off. And you’ve nearly blew it up twice! So it’s not hard to be a better cook than you.” Alecto teased her slightly. It was no secret how hopeless Olivia was in the kitchen.

“That was you? That night was one of the only nights there was no party on my floor, but after the fire alarm went off I couldn’t sleep, which was hard considering the fact I had a 9am class that day! I had to survive off 2 hours of sleep, 5 cups of coffee and 2 naps, that wasn’t fun at all.” Marisol gasped, promptly glaring at Olivia.

“Oops. I’m hopeless, what can I say. I can offer you a free room, if that makes things better. We can talk with the accommodation people and ask Abby too, so you can have better flatmates and can sleep better. I’m definitely super serious about that, by the way.” Olivia reached out and squeezed Marisol’s hand gently.

Alecto looked out of the window, feeling herself zone out slightly. She was happy in a way she hadn’t experienced in a while, and she wanted more.

#litg #love island the game #litg marisol #litg fanfic #litgs2 #bubblelaureno #marisol x mc

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a-real-ackerman · 4 years

Text

Perfect Scenario

Sherlock Fanfic

summary: You, a super human, an excellent actor and a liar with debatable ethics; are having a hard time overcoming feelings no one new you were capable of. On top of it, you have to deal with your “arch enemy” who has dedicated himself on the way of ruining your chances at your new life.

pairing: Sherlock x superhuman!Reader

warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of suicide, violence, language and horrible mistakes... I dunno, I will write a current warning in red on every chapter.

A/N: Even tho I think Sherlock as an asexual character or not interested etc, I find working with well-known characters and less OC’s quite useful. Also, I see a lot of me in him so I will be writing about him more. Also, the reader is female. Also, gifs are never mine, all credits for those talented people. By the way, in case you see my mistakes don’t be shy, let me know! I am trying to improve my English.

Chapter One: “Trembling Hands.”

“You don’t know who you are, unlike me.” was written on the card you recently received. Menacing words written in an elegant handwriting, appeared by your window, every morning since last Friday. there you stood by your counter, your e/c eyes wandering over the same simple words again and again, in a hopeless struggle to find any clues. You did not know what they wanted or cared about; what part of you they assumed they knew? Your super powers? Your business? Your therapist? Your past? Your parents’ death? All the lies you have been telling whole the time?

What you could analyse from each of these notes were the fact that they actually new about you. The words they choose were written in a friendly manner which told you that even tho you have never met them, they knew enough to consider themselves close to you.

You had a few assumptions on who they could be:

A secret admirer, in a sense, stalker

A conspiracy theorist who have witnessed your... condition?

One of the investigator who had researched you in your teens

Jimmy

No matter which one they were,(more likely to be a he), he was a stalker. You did not like stalkers. But you were interested in this one’s motive. You wanted to beat their game before they could put their filthy obsessive hands on your very new and clean life.

Hopping off the counter, you rushed into the living room and put the card on the brown coffee stand in the middle of the room, right next to others. Walking trough cold blue walls of you flat, you kept mentally checking the places you usually control, in case there were cameras. You were going to take a shower after all.

“I have to ask him first,” said the man on the line, Holmes’ face shot a fake kind smile as he was face to face with the doctor. “ tell my brother I said hi.”

Doctor threw a look at the phone in disbelief as Holmes hang up the phone. Sherlock was not in his mood for a new case. Especially not a case from his brother, which involves scammers, government, some mafia and a class action lawsuit that could bring them a big amount of money. The detective was too busy in his mind palace.

John entered the flat and found his flatmate already waiting for him, sat on his chair with hands in praying position, eyes boring into him like he’s trying to ask something.

Uncomfortable under the gaze, “Yes, Sherlock ask away.” sighed John.

“John,” said Sherlock, “I have a suggestion.”

John looked at him in suspicion, his eyes narrowing.

“How about going out to see a play tonight?”

John exhaled out of surprise to his friend’s suggestion, was he asking him on a date? For a case (of course)?

“Don’t worry John, about whatever you thought of-I don’t’ prefer to vocalise it. I think we may have a new case, which includes the leading actor. She seems to play a big part in this case as much as the play. I also want to witness myself if she was as good as they talked about.”

“It’s okay, Sherlock, just for once.”

Sherlock baffled,” What do you mean by ‘just once’? This is a case just like the others, you don’t want to solve cases anymore?”

“No,” insisted John, “All I’m saying is: it’s okay to be a human just for once.It’s okay to take interest in a play, film or a person-”

“-I AM NOT INTERESTED,JOHN,”

It was too late to deny, John was already going upstairs, with a smug smirk of a self-proud mother who has just embarrassed their teenager.

You have once again saluted the audience, holding hands with your teammates. A little stronger than usual maybe, you didn’t want to throw the decors and people off the stage. Your hands were trembling more since you couldn’t stop the seconds passing; and your head got dizzier every movement, with the help of flashing stage lights. Mavis, your co-actor since high school, leaned over your ear; “You always get so excited when it ends!” she whispered without knowing anything.

You shot your perfect, warmest smile as your eyes wandered around the place in case anyone was suspicious. You locked your eyes with an awfully familiar man around your age, with curly hair falling on his forehead and eyes piercing onto you. He knew, he knew something and made it clear. He knew you.

”There she is,” you saw him whispering to his friend. You could listen to them is you focused enough, thanks to not being so human.

But you choose to not hear anything.Thanks to your instincts being quite active this afternoon, every word had felt no different than a knife stabbing her ears. All of this pain was because you couldn’t use your power today. You were a bomb waiting to explode, your hands itching to throw people to the walls and your screams desired to ruin every window in the city.

The torture soon ends, but always leaves you shaken up. You turned from the left corner of the entrance of the theatre and entered the cafe where you have tea every night after performance. You didn’t die to drink it every night actually, yet the calming mix thing of this cafe could put an angry elephant down. Naturally, you could calm down too. It eased your nerves and relaxed your muscles which helped you overcoming your power. I you didn’t bother to control your powers, let’s say, no one nearby could survive.

Whatever, you took your usual seat and smiled at the kind young waiter. You knew each other now, so you didn’t have to talk.(dreamy isn’t it? not having to talk?) You looked out of the window, watching the shiny cars passing by and colourful lights dancing. You slowly turned to the man who just sat in front of you, his arms crossed on the table and eyes gazing you in a weird expression between curious and astonished. Admiring and contemptuous. Familiar and hateful. Friendly and strange.

“I have to say I am totally astonished by your acting,” he started. You were right about astonished. You smiled firmly, just because this one was choosing his words firmly. If he is one of those creeps you would send him off. But you had to be careful these days, anyone could lead you to the stalker.

“You come here often.”

“Yes, it’s not new. Everyone who has taken interest in stalking me knows.”

He let out a chuckle which you didn’t expect to be this natural.”Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Ironic, since I have come to apologise for making you uncomfortable.”

His gaze took a lovely, apologising, soft form, which could melt your heart if you didn’t realise him checking for your expressions in between seconds. He was trying to impress you, for what?

“It’s not very comforting of you when you follow me to a cafe.”

“So it did,” he said, paying too much attention on your hands while you reached out to your tea.

“Is he bothering you miss?” asked the waiter protectively, his voice a few octave deeper than usual.

“I am fine, thank you Oscar.” you watched him walking away with a nod.”So what did what?”

“Me. Looking at you. You noticed me in hundreds of people. You saw us talking about you.”

“Please don’t start with that ‘love-at-first-sight-soulmate’ shit.”

“I was actually going to start with ‘you-somehow-know-you-are-in-danger’ shit.”

Your mouth dropped with his super sassy mic drop. You had to be clueless, oblivious and self centred now. You were a normal person now.

“Is this a threat? I am amused.” you smirked, don’t let them him the fear.

“No,” he rolled his eyes, “This is an offer.”

“I am Sherlock Holmes.”

“OH!” you relaxed, “I know you, (y/n)(s/n).” you answered shaking his hand.

"Come on, drink it. You seem to be dying for it."

You reached to the cuppa, not being able to hide your hands. As soon as this herbal smell filled your nose and followed it's way to your heart, a soft needy smile appeared on your lips. You felt your muscles getting back to normal.You opened your eyes.

"Now look," you threatened suddenly," if you are here to investigate my parents' death and sue me for it..."

He was more focused now, his gaze melted down to a more intense, even a curious one.

"I am tired. I am tired of this. For all my teenage years, my past, people defined me as a liar. So keep going, keep evoking my traumas. You won’t find what you’re looking for."

"There is a huge misunderstanding, "

He comforted you, leaning more onto the table, you almost loved this caring facade, a pair of eyes; signing no danger, no threat but just a simple caring feeling, were more than enough to let your guard down and believing someone. Just this once.

"I don't want to sue you. I offer you my help. Someone has opened your case again."

This was too much for you, with all energy trapped in your body your heart started to ache, your hands trembling in a way no one could stop.

"Trembling hands."

"What?"

"Show them."

You obeyed, held them up in front of him.

"I thought tea would help you."

"It does. When no one triggers me."

"Everything could trigger you. You live alone in the house your very own parents committed suicide. You don't even have pets which is surprising because you love animals, judging by a different cat and dog fur on your pants, coat, jumper, pretty much everywhere. You also have been avoiding your therapist, judging by the notification sound that you didn't answer after seeing the name. And no, it can not be your lover because you are alone live alone and have no attempt on your physical self-care, in addition, the cafe you go nearly every day or your friend group doesn't look for someone else after you arrive on your own. But those are not clear assumptions, knowing what your parents like is enough to assume you prefer to be single. You are alone for a reason. You think you’re dangerous.

So you live alone, have no one, and Scotland Yard is investigating you. You get stalked and for a reason, you always stay sharp and have a very defensive observant personality.

You are interesting enough for me. I will take your case."

"Is this a nerd way of asking for my number? If it is I will say yes."

"No, it's better, it is a smart way to interest you."

" What for? Why will you help me?"

" Because there is a game waiting for me,” he sighed, “and I am bored."

"Fine, this is my number here-"

"I already have it!"

Then he rushed out, putting his collars up, ruffling his hair.

A/N: I want to thank @fanfictionislovefanfictioni-blog for the request!

#bbc sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #john watson #johnlock #reader insert #reader x sherlock #jim moriarty #murder #slowburn #slowburn romance #fanfiction #sherlock x reader #sherlock fanfiction #moftiss #this is my first fic

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risenfrommyimagination · 4 years

Note

Hey, I saw your prompt list! Can you do “Can you just come over?” + “You love me, right?” + “Can you just hold me?” for MCU Peter Parker?

So I got wayyy to exited about this, hope you like it. It’s fluff and angst. If you want to send me more, here is my prompt list ♥And if you like it, feel free to share it.

The flat is almost hauntingly quiet as you try to close the door as quiet as possible, its creaking adding this really gloomy and eerie touch to the whole situation. On your tiptoes, to not wake up any one of your other three flatmates, you sneak up to your room, a soft giggling coming out from behind one of the closed doors. Probably Maya with her girlfriend, trying to be quiet while getting into other activities than just watching their favourite show. Not that you had any problem with it, sleeping with noise around you is one thing you got pretty used to in your early years already. And since you moved from your family to this shared flat with three other people, noise is and will stay a factor you won’t be able to get away from.

You get in your room, closing the door behind you and kicking off your sneakers from your hurting feet. They feel like you walked around all day, although you just had a longer stroll with your best friends through the neighbourhood, catching up, getting some food and some drinks after spending the last three days almost glued to your desk here or in the library. Trying to ignore your phone, better said trying not to send out SOS messages to your boyfriend, crying about you didn’t want to learn anymore. And getting back the same ones from him.

A smile hushes over your lips, fading as your eyes marvel over the unmade, empty bed. After those last three exhausting days, better said this week, you wished he was here. Just waiting for you, after he snuck in through your window, his suit hanging over your, with clothes loaded, chair, and him snuggled up in the blankets, smiling at you tiredly.

Although you both had your daily short catch-up between classes, your job at the café down the street and his duties in the night, you missed Peter.

His soft and still on your lips tingling kisses, whenever it had to be quick, the longer ones, making your heart flutter and his hands wander around your butt, squeezing it, longing for more. And the after-sex kisses, sweaty, with trembling breath, some words mumbled between them, fingers wandering over your naked skin, grazing it. And all the other ones, too.

Exams this term hit both of you hard. Peter with all of his science and lab work, not even being able to get out of the lab to get some proper lunch or dinner, sometimes then crashing at your place, eating your leftovers and falling asleep the second his head touched one of your pillows. But sometimes still awake, happy to leave college and all the assignments behind and just spend time with you, watching movies, going out in some bar, sometimes club, the park or just wandering around the city.

Somehow, although it is harder this term than the last ones, you manage it.

It would be a lie saying, that none of you struggled leaving high school and starting college two years ago, leaving old structures behind and falling into this big black hole of basically doing everything you have to on your own. You deciding to move out from your dad’s, moving in with three new people, trying to find your place at the university, between all those people who seem so much more intelligent and creative than you are.

Without any of your former high school friends, even MJ moved away to LA to go to college there and although your best friend is studying at the same university as you, you just felt lost.

Absentmindedly, you unbutton your jeans, getting out of them and also your shirt, walking over to your bed and grabbing your sleeping shirt, yes a stolen shirt from Peter. You should go to sleep, you had to work tomorrow afternoon and you planned a learning session before, just to get stuff done. And to just feel better about the upcoming exams. You grab your phone, unlocking it to write your best friend that you came home safe. A ritual you were keeping with her since the days you first went out.

I’m home, sleep well.

She wrote you first, a few minutes ago. You send back a Same, sleep well when another message pops up on your screen.

Are you still awake?

Peter. Your eyes glance at the clock on your phone. It’s almost half past two in the morning, not the most unusual time for him to be awake, especially on duty day like today. Yeah, I am, why?

Just wanted to know if you’re safe :)

A smile hushes over your lips, warming your heart. No matter where Peter was – on duty, already in bed or also out with Ned and his college friends – he took a minute to check-up on you when he knew you were out. Same as you checking in on him during his duties, but reminding him to not text while swinging. The amount of times he hit against a lamppost or a tree are not countable anymore and although you both laugh about it, it’s just a matter of time until he hits a building or something else more dangerous than a tree.

No…actually…

Another message from him appearing on your screen and your smile fades a little bit, same as the warm feeling in your gut. Can you…just come over?

The rest of this warmth in your gut disappears, leaving you with this almost sick, weird feeling in your stomach. Something is very off and you don’t like it. This is not a normal I miss you, can you come over, I need you message.

You know I need to put on my pants again for that?

I’ll take them off for you, but can you please?

You bite your lip, trying to fight back the angst, drilling thoughts in your head that make you think something bad will happen when you arrive at his place in ten minutes. ‘As if he breaks up with you in the middle of the night.’

Be there in 10

Jumping up from your bed, you reach for your comfy sports leggings, putting them on, throwing on a thicker hoodie and your jacket, your just threw on your bed. Then you grab your bag, throw in your phone charger and your keys and head out.

You know the way from your flat to the small apartment Peter shares with Ned by heart, probably also with your eyes closed if you had to. Passing the little corner shop that always smells like cigarettes and old frying oil then turning into the street left, past the apartments and building, the currently closed flower shop, where Peter bought this little cactus for you when you moved into your apartment. “Think this has a good chance to survive at your place.” He said to you back then, kissing you on your cheek. “And if you miss me, you can kiss him and complain about him pricking you with his pricks same as I do with my beard stubbles.” You rolled your eyes at him, then pecking a soft kiss on his lips, him giggling. The cactus is still surviving.

Passing the park, Peter and you sometimes spend hours in, just lying on a blanket, reading books, studying, sneaking kisses from time to time before dozing off a little, you turn right, into a narrower street, your steps echoing between the high buildings. It’s a little gloomy here, your steps fastening just merely, your heart becoming a little lighter as you step out of the street, on a bigger, more lightened one.

Another left turn, passing the small supermarket, a bookshop and one of Peter’s and your favourite cafés, which is currently under refurbishment, which leads to him and Ned hanging out at the café you are working in, trying to study there. Which more or less leads to Peter trying to be sneaky, flirting with you over the edge of his books with this sparkle in his eyes, calling you over to their table, of course just to order something. And to sneak some soft kisses, maybe more when Ned isn’t there and your boss isn’t watching.

You cross the empty street, walking towards the house with the grey brick façade and the black door, jumping up the three stairs, your finger hovering already the bell with the small sign, written Leeds/Parker in Ned’s small and neat handwriting on it. The opener is humming even before you can press the bell and a soft, happy tingle in your stomach.

Peter sensed you.

Without turning on the lights in the staircase – you know they aren’t working for weeks now – you get up the first flight of stairs, passing two doors. It smells like curry and cake, a really weird combination. Another flight of stairs and you can already see the soft gleam of light, an open door and a very familiar silhouette standing in it.

Three, two, one step and you stand in front of him, your breath merely hitching, face feeling flushed by the cold air outside. “Hey.” Short breathed, you tug a strand of hair back, glancing at Peter standing there, just wearing boxer shorts and one of his old high school sweatshirts. “Hey.” You step a little closer, fingers grasping for his hands, he flinches back a little and first now you see the bruises and bloody scrapes on them. Covering his knuckles, his arms, one on his face.

“Peter, what…” Your eyes flinch to your boyfriend, standing there with his shoulders down, red-rimmed brown eyes, his bottom lip lightly trembling. “Hey…what…” Without letting you even finish your question, Peter steps to you, scooping you in his arms, pressing you so tightly against his chest.

Your head finds its familiar position in the crook of his neck, his lips pressing against yours, shivering breath ghosting over your skin.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” A soft whisper, followed by a little sobbing tone, hands tugging your jacket, pulling you closer, you feel his breath staggering. “Bubs.” Gently, you lean back, your hair running through the dishevelled mess of what he calls hair, lifting his head carefully. “What’s up?”

“I…” His eyes glimmer in tears, he bites his bottom lip, shaking his head and it breaks your heart seeing him like this. “You love me, right?” The sobbing tone in his voice rips your heart apart a second time, making you cup his face with your right hand. “How could I not?”

A short, fading smile hushing over his lips, then Peter just pulls you back to him, tighter, his head nuzzling in the crook of your neck, breath ghosting over your skin, making it tingle. Gently, you press your lips against his skin on his neck, taking in his presence, the scent of his sweatshirt, smelling like his favourite aftershave. A soft shudder runs through his body, making him grip you even tighter and you lift your head from his shoulder. Your heart is tearing again at his look, eyes glistening with tears, the scratches on his face still looking fresh.

“Wanna talk?” Your voice is trembling like his lips, but he shakes his head softly, leaning it against yours, a tear running down his cheek. He is absolutely not ok. “He.” Pain is aching in your heart as you cup his face in both hands, fingers running through his hair, trying to find something that could help him. “Hot shower?”

For a second, Peter just looks at you, with this despair in his eyes, then he nods slowly.

“Ok.” A smile hushes, trembles over your lips as you brush away some curls. “And then I’ll take care of your wounds ok?”

Another nod, a short sparkle in his eyes and you lean to him, planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “Ok, come on, let’s get you in the bathroom.”

Slowly, you turn left, opening the door to the bathroom, leading Tom in, your right hand on the small of his back. He looks so lost in his own bathroom, which is surprisingly not a whole mess right now. Just a few utensil scattered on the board under the mirror over the sink, the plant you gave them a few weeks ago is still alive and standing on the small windowsill.

“Ok.” You step back a little. “Do you need anything?”Peter shakes his head, biting his lip, his eyes searching for yours. “Can you…stay?”

“Here?” Another nod, he turns to you. “I…please?” The glance in his eyes so full of despair and you nod. “Just…let me get out of my clothes and then I am here ok?”“Ok.” A soft smile on his lips, the first one since you are here. “Ok.” You take a last glance on him before you step out of the door. “Be right back, promise.”

Leaving the bathroom door slightly open, you tiptoe over the hallway, trying to avoid the creaking wooden boards, to not wake up Ned. The small lamp on his night stand, which he built in his building class during the last year of high school, is lighting up his small room in this soft, golden light, making you feel home immediately. It’s smaller than his bedroom at May’s, but since she moved in with Happy and Peter wanted to be closer to university, he arranged himself pretty good with that. You place your bag on the overcrowded desk, stacked with books, loose notes and papers and pencils, taking off your shoes and kicking them under the table.

His Spiderman suit is lying on the floor and you pick it up, just to hang it over his chair, your jacket over it. Your eyes fall on the unmade bed, the open physics book in it, and his phone next to it. When Peter moved out of his room at May’s place, the first thing he got was a bigger bed. “So we have a little more space if you sleep over”, he said you to back then with this smile on his face. It’s needless to say, that you both are so used to sleeping basically on each other, that most of the space is unused during night.

You get out of your leggings and your hoodie, now just wearing a simple t-shirt and panties. As quiet as you got in, you leave his room, tiptoeing over to the bathroom. Peter is already in the shower, the noise of water filling up the small space and you lean against the wall, your eyes glued to the silhouette behind the steamed up glasses of the shower. None of you is saying anything, but your head is full. Something happened and whatever it is, you wonder why he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Usually, Peter is not the quiet person, not with you, not with things that burdened him. Communication has never been a problem in your almost three and a half years of relationship and also not before, when you were just friends. A smile curls at your lips, remembering how this all started. With your friends trying to set you up, both of you laughing at it, then just going out casually, ending it with a kiss on your doorstep. Followed by several more dates and you realizing that you’ve been fallen for him a long time ago. Dating turning into a relationship, your parents and May so overly excited for you, same as your friends. Through the last year of high school, staying up all night, you helping him with English literature, Peter trying to explain simple biology to you, ending up kissing, slipping under covers, trying to keep the noise down.

The noise stops, drawing you back in the small bathroom with Peter getting out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his hips. For a second, of course longer, your eyes stick to his wet chest, the perfectly sculpted muscles, his soft skin and the bruises and fresh scratches on it. Peter catches your glace, his lips curling a little, sending this warm shiver down your spine. Drops of water running from his hair, down his neck, over this tiny scar, where Happy patched him up years ago. He drops the towel and you can’t help yourself but glance at his butt for a second. The one you love to smack from time to time, just casually when walking by, distracting him from the task he was doing at this point.

Sometimes leading to him pressing you against a wall, table, counter, lips planting kisses on your soft spot, leaving tiny marks on your neck. Peter pulls up his chequered boxers, turning around, and eyes searching for yours as if he was looking for your advice specifically.

“Done?” You step a little closer, picking up his sweatshirt and he nods slowly, biting his bottom lip. “Ok.” Carefully, you take his hand, opening the bathroom door. “Let’s get you patched up ok?”

Peter follows you like a stray puppy, his hand holding yours tightly, as you pull him in his room, then letting go of him. “Sit down, I’ll get the box.” You turn to his desk, better said the shelf system next to it, your eyes wandering over the lightly dusted books, the small model of the death star, looking for a tiny, red metal box you once found at the flea market and just thought of a Spiderkit for him. So the idea sparked and Peter stores it in his room since the day you gave him this box filled with iodine, dressings and bandages, plasters and a tiny scissor to cut them.

“Think it’s next to the old yearbooks, upper shelf”, Peter says from behind and your eyes wander up. He is right, there it is. Crammed, functioning as a holder, there is the red metal box. You reach for it, turning around to Peter, who is already sitting on his unmade bed, looking like a limp dishrag.

“Ok, so…” Sitting down next to him, you open the box, some loose bandages spilling out of it. “Let’s fix you hm?” Your eyes wander over his body. “Where does it hurt most?”

“Back.” Peter slides around a little, showing his back with a few bigger scratches on it, slowly becoming darker bruises around it. “Ok.” You take out a cotton pad and the iodine, spilling some of it on the pad. “Can hurt a little ok?” He nods and you carefully press the pad on the first scratch, he winces a little, soft whimper.

“Sorry.” You lean forward, pressing a soft kiss on his skin, moving the pad to the other scratch, feeling him wince again under your muscles. “They don’t look that bad.” Cleaning the last scratch with iodine, you try to calm him down, maybe making him speak about what happened. But he stays quiet.

“Ok.” You lick your lips. “Hands?”

Peter turns back to you, both of his hands resting on his thighs and you scoot closer, your knee bumping against his. His hands look worse than the scratches on his back. You grab a new cotton pad, soaking it on iodine.

“This might hurt more ok?” Peter bites his lip, nodding and you take his hand, carefully, so gently padding the cotton pad on his bruised, slightly avulsed skin. “Fuck…ouch…” Whimper coaxes over his lips, making you stop immediately and look at him. “What happened?” The words are lying on the tip of your tongue, not able to be spoken out.

Those scratches are worse than his usual ones, they look far more brutal and reminding you of the bruises he got after the whole London and Mysterio incident. “Can I…finish it?” You look at your boyfriend and he nods, biting his lip again. Carefully, but quickly, you disinfect the rest of his hand, your fingers gently brushing over his palm, trying to calm him down, make him feel better.

“Think we need to wrap this one.” You catch Peter nodding again, leaning to the box and grabbing a still wrapped bandage from it. “Ok.” Unrolling it, you put his hand on your thigh, his fingers almost immediately starting to draw tiny circles on your skin, sending a warm shiver down your spine. “Ok so…” You put the first layer of bandage around his hand. “Can you…” His thumb presses on it, holding it in place.

“Thanks.” You wrap the bandage around another time, a third, and then a fourth time. “Think this should be it.” Grabbing the scissors, you trim the bandage, tugging the end in. For a moment, you both just sit there, his fingers lightly playing with yours, his eyes still glistening.

“Right hand?” Peter nods, reaching you his other hand, which does not look as bad as his left one. You throw the cotton pad to the other used one, getting a new one and putting on some iodine again.

“It was a mess.” He winces as you press the cotton pad on his knuckles. His voice scratchy, shivering, hurting your heart. “I was a mess…I failed.“ Putting the cotton pad down, you look at him, at the glistening in his eyes, his rosy lips open, trembling.

“You’re not a mess.” You shake your head, but he does, too. “This fight was just…” He pauses, gulps. “I thought I could like do something, but…” Again a pause, his fingers curling in your hand, grasping yours. “I just wanted to go on duty, look around the neighbourhood and…” His bottom lip starts trembling, tears welling in his brown eyes.

“Peter, hey…” You drop his hand, leaning to him to cup his cheek, but he backs up, looking at you with big, wide eyes. “I just….” Curls are falling into his face as he lowers his head. “I was at this park and there was this robbery and it all went well and then…” His brown eyes meet yours, releasing a soft tingle in your stomach. “I didn’t concentrate for one second, because my right web-shooter wasn’t working and then…they got me and…”

The tip of his tongue skimming over his lips, he shakes his head. “I just was so distracted because of exams and I just…” There is a crack in his voice, breaking your heart.

“I’m here ok?” You slide a little closer. “Should…I finish patching you up?” A short nod and you lean to him, clearing your throat, pressing the pad gently on the scratch right on his cheek, noticing him flinch a little. “Don’t move ok?” His eyes glance at you, giving you a silent yes as you clean him around the scratch.

“I’m a bad Spiderman.” A soft whisper over his lips, hurting, and you stop, looking at him, your fingertips hovering over his cheek. “You’re not…” The words get stuck in your throat at his sight, the tears, the overall mess he is right now. “And you are here and…” The brown in his eyes is glistening so full of tears, he leans to you, forehead against forehead, making your heart race.

“Can you…just hold me?” Another crack in his voice, tearing your heart again. “I mean if you are…done I mean…”

You nod almost imperceptible, him, you pulling the other one on the bed, bodies falling in the sheets. Peter curling up to you, his warm body snuggling against your, legs and arms intertwining, moulding against each other. His fingers gripping your shirt, head nuzzling on your chest, you pulling him closer. You can feel his heartbeat slowly aligning with yours, feeling this soft, happy warmth in your body. His senses aligning with yours is probably the only thing coming close to say I love you without even saying it. Carefully, you let your fingers run up his spine, tangling through his, still a little bit wet, curls, a soft sigh against your neck.

“I am so happy you’re here.” Silent whisper, scratchy voice and a smile curls at your lips. “Who else should patch you up either? Star Wars band aids from CVS ain’t it.”

Peter chuckles lightly, his fingers wandering over your back, under the hem of your shirt. “But they look cool.”

You arch your eyebrow. “Didn’t know you want to look cool now, Parker.” Your boyfriend mutters something against your neck, pressing a soft kiss on it, sending a tickle down your spine.

“No, really.” Peter props himself up a little, hovering over you, muscles flexing and you cannot help but stare at his arms for a second. “Eh don’t stare at me.”

“Then don’t walk around basically naked.” You pinch his biceps. “This is very rude.” “Rude huh?” He arches an eyebrow, an almost devious smirk in his eyes and you chuckle. “Oh I see you are back in the game.”“No game.�� A soft head shake, his forehead falls against yours, curls tickling over your skin, nose tips nudging against each other. “Just wanted to be cute ok?” His lips are trembling over yours, so in need to be kissed and you groan. “This is not cute right now.”“Oh sorry.” A soft peck on them, blushing your heart. “Better?”“Maybe.” Cupping his face, you pull your boyfriend closer, lips merging together, sending this happiness through your body, washing away the rest of this sick, nauseous feeling in your body. Your lips part, leaving some space to breathe, collecting your heartbeat.

“You’re not a bad Spiderman.” Your fingers grace over his jawline. “You just had a bad day.”A soft smile curling at his lips, eyes still glistening a little. “Got better thirty minutes ago.”Your left eyebrow arches. “You already redeemed your being cheesy pass this week, you remember that, right?” Not that this is a real thing, just a joke between both of you.

“It’s not cheesy, it’s true.” Pouting a little bit, Peter sinks down next to you, his body still snuggled to yours, the pout on his lips turning into a softer, gentle smile. “Are you staying?”“Overnight or here with you?”“Both.” His thumb brushes over your cheek. “Haven’t gotten the chance yet to take off your clothes as promised.”“I planned on staying even before, so…yes.”

“Good.” Peter pulls you closer, planting a little kiss on your forehead. “Wouldn’t have let you go either.”

#peter parker x you #tom holland x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #peter parker one shot #peter parker prompt #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fanfic #peter parker story #peter parker imagine #tom holland oneshot #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland submission #peter parker submission #risen writes #what i write

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theineffableechoes · 3 years

Text

PSA - PLEASE DON’T DO THIS

(Warning - contains details of drug misuse and personal trauma)

Before I begin I just want to clarify that there is no personal agenda here, I am neither condoning nor condemning drugs, so relax hippies and put down those pitch forks over protective parents. I'm simply sharing my genuine life experience, which includes one of the biggest mistakes I ever made relating to drugs which ended up dictating events in the years that followed on a weird micro level that I have only realised in retrospect.

First I should probably give you some background for context. Growing up I was real bona fide goodie two shoes: Prefect who snitched on kids smoking in the playground, 100% attendance awards, got along with all my teachers.. you get the idea. The only real bad aspect to me was that I, in moderation, underage drank with friends from time to time.. but come on, this is England.. that's kinda what we do.. So I was passionately anti-drugs and cigarettes, that's kinda the point I'm making. That all changed with the biggest cliché.. that's right, university.

Towards the end of my first year I started smoking marijuana which was harmless enough and I tried to limit it to social situations in the beginning but everything would change in just a few months into my second year. I had this friend that I would hang out with and we'd smoke weed but one day he was running low, but told me he had a solution, he showed me this weird packet and told me it was an alternative to weed he bought in a shop.. I'd never heard of anything like that and it seemed weird it was packaged in such a professional way.. I had never heard of legal highs.. I trusted him anyway, figuring he must know what he's doing. I let him set up a bong, and then he got me to inhale, he kept telling me "More, Do more, keep breathing" and like an idiot.. I did just that.

He asked me what I felt and for a few seconds I felt nothing. Next thing I know this primal aggressive feeling emanated from me, I'd never felt something like that before.. it was so.. heavy. Everything got foggy and I remember grabbing my friend by his shirt or face before everything went black.

*What followed is hard for me to recount, either due to the effect of the drug or as I feel: the memories are somewhat suppressed due to the nature of what happened, I actually only recently remembered more when talking to my partner this morning.*

I wasn't in that room anymore, I wasn't in my body.. I was floating in perpetual darkness.. No sound.. No thought.. Just the taste of metal in my mouth.

At some point I saw something in the distance, a faint glimmer in the abyss. I chased it, I remember reaching out for it, I was desperate for anything other than this silence. Next thing I know I am engulfed in vibrance.. a pure purple light that twisted and bent as if a flag adrift in the wind. I was in awe, it felt like years had gone by, I didn't even know how I'd gotten to be here anymore or that there was anything other than this to life. Then that energy inexplicably began to change, fluctuate and take form. It shrank down until I realised the purple energy was forming my body and I was surrounded by black again but this time in the form of a thick fog.

Suddenly I felt and heard this snap from inside my own brain, I felt wrong, I felt.. damaged.. The energy dissipated, the fog began to slowly lift.. I was back in the room.. but something was wrong. I couldn't think properly.. I couldn't remember how to talk.. and worst of all I forgot who I was.

I looked around not recognising my surroundings, realising I was wet from head to toe as I looked down and saw I was covered in vomit, all four walls of the bedroom were covered in upchuck, the floor was a sea of pure chunder that was being desperately cleaned up by a stranger.. who then proceeded to gag and throw up as he went. I wanted to speak to him, ask him what was happening but I couldn't remember how to form words.. I sat there and struggled just making noises at him.

Finally I managed to get it out "What's going on?" I asked, The stranger explained I had passed out with vomit stuck in my throat and he had desperately tried to tip me upside down and massage it out of my throat, but once dislodged a never ending technicolor yawn ensued and he was very close to calling an ambulance as he had thought I might die.

I then realised I knew this man.. "I know you.. you're -----, you're my friend!" He looked a bit confused and then a short silence followed. I broke it asking "What's my name?" This seemed to anger said person "You know your name, don't wind me up!" or something to that effect was said "No, I can't think, where are we? who am I? I don't remember" "You're Adam!" "Adam?" For whatever reason that didn't feel right, my own name didn't feel natural to hear. I began to remember more and slowly started to come back to myself.. but not completely.

To this day I don't feel like I'm truly the person I was before that night, that a piece of me didn't come back.. and I've realised in hindsight that I somewhat acted to fill that void but it was artificial and it slowly began to deteriorate my relationships and faculty of mental health. I don't know if it's a subtle form of brain damage or just the impact of the experience but I feel that my ability of expression, my physicality, and seemingly unrelated decisions that followed later in life have all been tainted by this. From my experience legal highs are worse than any class A's I've done.

I'm not me anymore, I haven't truly been me since 2014/15.. not really.. I've felt like a passenger observing my life but never truly being in the moment.. I think of this event as a small drop in the ocean, causing ripples along with several other distinct events that would form a great wave of depression that I tried to solve through constant drug abuse that I kept the extent of which hidden even among my friends who took drugs themselves and my flatmates. I wouldn't know what day of the week it was most of the time or if I had work, I couldn't tell the days apart without checking my phone and I started to realise I didn't recognize the man in the mirror anymore.. I was filled with deep self loathing and actually planning out a suicide towards the end. People tried to help but no one person could help me but me.

It may seem unrelated but in reality that's causality in effect. Don't get me wrong, I don't presume that my life would have been fantastical had I not taken that synthetic weed that night, I'm no fool.. not anymore anyway.

Bad things would have still happened but I think I would have had the capacity to control and change certain outcomes, like leaving a mutually toxic relationship at the first sign of physical/emotional abuse from them or after I made the mistake of cheating (As an example) rather than allow us both to keep pulling each other back until it became an unrecognizable trap of emotional dependency and physical abuse from her or a financial dependency and desperation from me. In other words my perception is different now, I see that whilst life wouldn't have been perfect it would have been better, and yes I do wish I could find that missing piece but it's gone and I need to accept that I can't be that person anymore and it's who I can be in the future that matters.

I won't live in that self pity anymore.. I've outgrown it, it controlled my life for too long and hurt many others along away (Never physically, I still maintained my pacifism despite everything). I like who I'm becoming now, someone who has both hands on the wheel for the first time in years, someone who goes out of their way again for others but this time is no longer door mat for anyone.

SO PLEASE don't EVER do legal highs, the risk is not worth it, you could end up dead or you could lose years of your life and personality like it did with me. You're actually more safe taking certain illegal drugs than legal highs. Yes some people are different and can handle them fine, but please think of my story.. and ask yourself what you are willing to lose for that fleeting sensation?

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Not Nineteen Forever (15) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: oh u thought the worst of the angst was over? it’s only just begun. apologies in advance hnggggggg. love is always appreciated here or over on my blog! love and hugs xxxxxxxxx

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Scarlet helped Vanessa deal with the aftermath of the breakup, aided by lecture-skipping and the prospect of a pink-haired rebound. Monet was gearing up to ask Nina to be her girlfriend in the most elaborate of ways, and Scarlet and Yvie finally said the most important three words to each other since “let’s get takeaway”.

this chapter: it’s Valentine’s Day, Brooke is a living flip flop, and something happens that nobody saw coming.

***

“Ayo. We’ve got a mouse.”

Brooke finally got her jacket off that she’d been struggling with and faced Yvie, who was lounging on the sofa in their little living room in front of the TV. “Well isn’t that a romantic Valentine’s Day greeting.”

“Well we do,” Yvie shrugged, Brooke leaving her bag on the kitchen table and joining Yvie in front of Coronation Street. “This storyline has been going for about a year, I swear to God.”

“Should you not be out doing romantic shit with Scarlet?” Brooke asked, hearing how monotone her voice was but unable to take it back now. Yvie looked across at her and raised an eyebrow.

“She’s got uni. I’m picking her up from her flat at five, we’re going for drinks and then out to the restaurant.”

“Picking her up with what, your bare hands?” Brooke let out a small laugh, Yvie chucking a couch cushion at her and snorting.

“Shut up. I’ll get an uber. I might even get an uber exec, really push the boat out,” she quipped, Brooke laughing again. As her laughter died down, Yvie tilted her head. “So what’re your plans for tonight?”

Brooke groaned and tilted her head to the ceiling. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stick on some films, eat some chocolate. Maybe skype my parents. I’ll be fine.”

“You said that twice.”

“Well I will be.”

Yvie made a click with her tongue. “And we all know the hallmark of a person who’s fine is if they have to repeat it about twenty billion times.”

“Yvie Oddly, ladies and gentlemen, queen of exaggeration,” Brooke said sarcastically, Yvie giving a sarcastic flourish of her hand right back at her. In the conversational lull, Brooke checked her phone. All over her instagram page there were couples; disgusting, happy couples who really were just making an embarrassment of themselves with their totally cringeworthy captions. “Happy Valentine’s Day to my number one” with every heart emoji under the sun, “happy vday baby i love u” beneath a picture of someone’s boyfriend pulling a silly face, and the worst, “he’s ok”, the understated caption contrasted by the horrendously soppy picture of a couple that Brooke knew from back home kissing for the camera.

Brooke had a cheek, she supposed. She’d made her bed- breaking up with Vanessa, as difficult as it was, was supposed to make her happier and make everything go back to normal. But it hadn’t. Knowing how much she’d hurt Vanessa brought no happiness to her at all, nor did it make her life any easier. Seeing her post sad, slow R&B song after sad, slow R&B song to her instagram story didn’t alleviate her guilt, nor did her radio silence on the group chat. Brooke had seen her only once since the breakup- across the square on campus when Vanessa didn’t realise Brooke could see her, flanked by Silky and Akeria, wearing baggy clothes and not a scrap of makeup, her face and eyes puffy and red. There was nothing about Brooke that was relieved; she desperately wanted to be there for Vanessa, to dry her tears and talk shit about herself. She had the deepest desire to be a friend to her through the breakup she had been the cause of, because ultimately she still cared about her. Brooke didn’t know if that was normal or not. She was past caring or trying to figure it out.

What was she going to do tonight? Yvie was out with Scarlet, Nina was at Monet’s right that minute. Plastique had told her in the library the other day that she was going for drinks with Ariel (“the most casual of drinks”, she’d said, although Brooke knew it would be anything but casual). She didn’t know what the others would be doing. Akeria would probably drag Vanessa on a night out and Silky wouldn’t need much encouragement to go either. It looked like Brooke was in for a night by herself after all.

Mid-scroll, one of the uploads caught Brooke’s eye- a photo from months back at Vanessa’s birthday night out of all eight of them together, dressed up and smiling with their arms around each other. It was only a few seconds later that Brooke realised she was smiling at it, completely unaware that her facial expression had changed. She wished they could all go back to October. She would exchange all the hurt and the guilt and the sadness that she’d caused in exchange for pining for Vanessa for the rest of her days. Her eyes drifted down to the caption, and her stomach plummeted when she realised who it was posted by.

missvanjiemissvanjie Happy Valentine’s Day to my day ones! Best bitches I could ask for in my life. Love you!! 💓

Brooke scanned the photo again. She hadn’t been cropped out, even though she was on the edge of the photo- the curse of being tall, Nina had called it. Her heart began to spring to life. This was a good sign. Vanessa clearly didn’t hate her, and somewhere deep inside her was a want to be friends again and go back to how things used to be. Injected with optimism, Brooke clicked on Vanessa’s messages. She paused for a moment, looking back at the last ones they’d sent- the day of the breakup, Brooke asking to talk, Vanessa wondering if everything was alright. It felt like a harpoon to her stomach.

Trying to stay positive, Brooke typed out a message.

B: Hey. Hope you’re doing okay. I know we said we still wanted to try and be friends so I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out tonight? Just as friends obviously. Since everyone else will be busy. Let me know.

Brooke’s finger hovered over the “x”. She decided against it. Hitting send, she found herself waiting anxiously for a reply.

“How do you know we have a mouse anyway?” Brooke asked Yvie, her words suddenly registering. Yvie shrugged.

“Ran across the worktop about five minutes before you came in.”

“What the hell are we going to do about it, then? I don’t want to even imagine what Nina’s reaction’s going to be if she sees it,” Brooke shuddered.

Yvie laughed. “No, Scarlet’s going to be the same. I don’t know, she looked like a nice lil’ fucker. I think we should get a cage. Put a block of cheese in it and then keep her as a pet."

Brooke felt her phone vibrate twice. Picking it up to check it and seeing that both the messages were from Vanessa, she nonchalantly carried on the conversation. "So Scarlet would be fine with that, would she?”

“Scarlet isn’t here all the time.”

“No, just 99% of it,” Brooke raised her eyebrows, opening Vanessa’s messages.

V: lmao

V: Are you on crack. You broke my heart two weeks ago and now you’re trying to be my friend already. Have you never heard of a thing called a healing process?

Brooke felt her stomach tense. She hovered her thumbs over her screen to reply, but nothing she thought of seemed to make sense or be the slightest bit appropriate. Despondent, she was about to close her phone when another message shot through.

V: And I’m busy anyway. So it still would have been a no.

Well, that was that. Vanessa was out with Silky and Akeria, and clearly she wasn’t invited. That was fine. Brooke could have kicked herself. She instantly wished she’d never been so tone-deaf. It had been a stupid suggestion. Of course Vanessa wasn’t going to be best friends with her a fortnight after they’d broken up.

Brooke couldn’t help the fact that she missed her, though. Even just as a friend.

“Hey, panini head? Are you listening to me?” Yvie suddenly yelled, her best Gordon Ramsay impersonation catching Brooke off-guard.

“What?”

“I said, would you look after Mrs Tibbs if I went home for the weekend?”

Brooke rubbed her temples in confusion. “Who’s Mrs-”

“The mouse! Jesus, Brooke, have you been on this earth for the past five minutes?” Yvie laughed, then gradually a frown spread onto her face. “What’s wrong?”

Brooke hadn’t realised she’d been showing her guilt and disappointment on her face. She sighed. “It’s nothing. I just still feel bad. About Vanessa, you know.”

Yvie furrowed her brow. “Listen, girl, I know dumping someone is hard and it’s unpleasant. Shit, I would know, I’ve had to do it enough times. But there comes a point where you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it. I mean you ultimately did what was best for the pair of you. It wasn’t fair to string her along if you didn’t want to be with her. It hurts her now, but it’s better in the long run.”

Brooke nodded. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder…

…it didn’t matter.

Brooke’s phone vibrated again. She hoped and prayed it wasn’t another text from Vanessa to berate her for her shitty idea. What was to come would actually make her feel a hundred times worse.

Okay Then: happy valentines day fuckers!!!!!!! even though im out being soppy tonight i still want u all to know that ur my main bitches and number ones and i love u all sm 💖💖💖

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: You’re disgusting. Love you too hoe xxxxxx

Yvie’s Bitch: Awwwwwww Plastique!!!!! We love you too!!!!

Yvie’s Bitch: What’re everyone’s plans for Valentine’s Day?????

Scarlet’s Bitch: i don’t know i’ve got plans with this weird girl called……Scarface? idk i’ll probs cancel on her

Yvie’s Bitch: Suck my clit x

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag For Life: Children PLEASE

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FUCKING

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ME N KIKI GOING OUT ON THE TOWN LOOKING FOR THIRD DIVISION FOOTBALL PLAYERS

Okay Then: oh bitch aim high? second division xo

Brooke’s heart dropped twenty storeys when she saw who was typing. Their names on the chat had been quietly changed back, but Brooke still knew who it was.

cursed SatNav voice: Happy Valentine’s Day hoes 💓💓💓

cursed SatNav voice: Even though all you couples can suck a bag of dicks

Scarlet’s bitch: gladly, bitch 💜

Okay Then: Vanj are u not going out with Silk n Kiki?? bc if not ur welcome to join me n Ariel!! it’s just casual!!

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YES PLASTIQUE IM SURE SHED LOVE TO THIRD WHEEL U AND UR HONEYMOON PHASE FLATMATE

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: anna ou

cursed SatNav voice: 💓 That’s sweet but I’m busy tonight!! Thanks though boo

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: SHE GOT A DATE ANYWAY

Time seemed to freeze. Brooke couldn’t move. Couldn’t even breathe. All she was able to do was blink at her phone screen as the chat blew up around her. It was only after a few moments that she realised Yvie was looking at her.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Um. Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Brooke stammered, nodding and putting her phone down in a futile effort to seem relaxed. Yvie gave a laugh.

“Brooke, you can’t break up with her and then get mad she’s going on a date with someone else.”

Brooke bristled. “No, that’s not it, that’s not it at all.”

There was a small silence as Yvie typed away at her screen, her eyebrows raised in a defiant show of disbelief. In the silence, Brooke gathered her thoughts.

“I’m just kinda…I don’t know. Not hurt, but…I mean I thought she cared about me a bit more than to be over me in the space of two weeks.”

Yvie gave a gasp, clutching at her heart. “Oh! The fragile ego of Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes. The wings of a moth cannot compare, nor the web of a spider!”

“You know, you can be a really shit friend when you want to be,” Brooke spat, getting up without a second thought and storming through to her bedroom. She threw herself down on her bed and curled up into a small ball, wishing the world would give her a break.

Her ego was hurt. Her pride was battered and bruised. She supposed she’d been so used to being revered and cared for in the eyes of Vanessa that she found it odd for that to no longer be the case. Brooke sighed. Yvie was right- she wasn’t supposed to care this much, she was supposed to be happy. Fuck, shouldn’t this have been the ideal outcome? Vanessa had moved on already.

So why did Brooke feel absolutely gutted?

She sat on her bed in the cold of her room, stewing in her thoughts, trying to figure them out and failing. She didn’t know how long she’d been there for but it had clearly been enough time for Yvie to make a cup of tea, as Brooke found when her flatmate gave a gentle knock on her door and shuffled in with the Sports Direct mug in her hand.

“Hey,” Yvie began, crossing the room and putting the mug down on Brooke’s cluttered bedside table. She sighed and lay down on top of Brooke in what could have been a cuddle or an attempt at smothering her to death. “Brooky, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t. She used to call me that and…” Brooke began, sighing when she couldn’t figure out why she had an issue with it. “I don’t know.”

Brooke wrestled an arm free from under Yvie’s stomach and brought it to rest over her back. It felt more like a cuddle now.

“I knew she was going on a date, by the way. Scarlet told me the other day. I just didn’t think you’d give a fuck,” Yvie said quietly. Brooke exhaled and felt her ribcage deflate.

“I didn’t think I would either,” she said, feeling small. There was a pause. “What’s her name?”

“Monique. The girl from Monet’s party with the purple hair,” Yvie said. It felt like a stab through Brooke’s chest. She remembered Monique, she remembered the way Vanessa had laughed at her stories and the way Monique had looked at her and the obvious chemistry between them. “If it helps, Brooke, I don’t think it’s going to be anything serious. Scarlet said that apparently she literally gave Vanjie her number and was like ‘In case you ever want a rebound’. They’ve been messaging all week. Tonight’s more of a 'fuck Valentine’s Day’ drink than anything else.”

Brooke thought about Vanessa’s perfect body, about her touching Monique the way she used to touch Brooke, talking to her like she used to talk to Brooke, someone else making her come apart the way Brooke used to. Brooke rolled out from under Yvie, grabbed her pillow, and buried her face in it, letting out a long, loud groan.

“Do you feel like you fucked it?” Brooke heard Yvie’s voice ask matter-of-factly. Brooke brought the pillow off her face and whined.

“No! No, I made the right decision. I didn’t want to be Vanessa’s girlfriend. It’s just fucking…weird. It doesn’t exactly fill me with glee thinking of her with somebody else, you know?”

Yvie smirked. “Because you know Monique’s going to fuck her better?”

Brooke launched the pillow at her flatmate, Yvie giggling. “Sorry! Sorry! Fuck, okay, point taken. Inappropriate.”

There was a silence. Yvie’s joke still hung in the air.

“Well, as long as you feel like your decision was correct,” Yvie smiled gently, patting Brooke’s thigh. “Then that’s the main thing. And it’s natural to get a little jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure, Jan,” Yvie raised her eyebrows and began to slide off Brooke’s bed. “Look, I’ve got to go get ready for dinner. You sure you’ll be fine?”

“Well I said it about twenty billion times, remember?” Brooke deadpanned, earning her a laugh from Yvie. “Just go. Go have fun. Have the best night, baby. You two deserve it.”

Yvie leant down and gave Brooke one last little squeeze before leaving her bedroom and going back into her own. Now she was alone with her thoughts Brooke wanted desperately to silence them so she grabbed her laptop and shoved on the least romantic film she could think of- Kingsman. As she sipped her tea and watched a man get completely sliced in half from skull to anus, she thought that would only be slightly less painful than what her emotions were currently putting her through.

As Taron Egerton refused to kill his dog, Yvie shouted a goodbye to Brooke.

As Colin Firth went absolutely mental in a church and killed everybody single-handedly, Brooke grabbed her phone and deleted all of her messages with Vanessa.

As the end credits rolled, Brooke wondered what the fuck she’d done. Two and a half years of friendship gone and deleted in the blink of an eye. But maybe it was for the best.

Brooke had been scrolling Netflix searching for something else to watch for what could have been an entire hour when she heard four things in rapid succession- the heavy bang of the front door, a scurry of hurried footsteps across the hall, the bang of Nina’s fire door and then a rapid sobbing that poured out of whoever was in the room and through Brooke’s wall. Brooke’s previously lethargic body sprang to life and she shot off her bed, took three quick steps to her door and hurried out into the hallway where she knocked on Nina’s.

“Nina? What’s happened?”

The sobbing continued from inside, Brooke unsure if the girl had even heard anything. Hesitantly, she pushed on the door.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

With no response other than more sobbing and a snuffle, Brooke entered Nina’s room. There was her usual organised dressing table with her makeup strewn all over it, indicative of a rushed getting-ready process. On her usually tidy floor was a mess of tried-on-and-rejected clothes, and there on the Aristocats-patterned duvet curled up with her stuffed teddy was Nina, absolutely crying her eyes out. Brooke practically vaulted the end of her bed to get to her flatmate who was squashed in between her pillows and the wall in the foetal position.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s wrong?” Brooke asked her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her. Nina batted her away weakly.

“Don’t, Brooke, don’t, fuck, getting held is just going to remind me of her and I don’t-” Nina descended into another burst of sobs, Brooke completely and utterly confused.

“Monet? I thought you guys were fine? Oh my God, Nina, she didn’t break up with you?!” Brooke asked, scared and trying to fight the sinking feeling taking root in her chest. Nina elegantly wiped her nose on her teddy and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, rubbing harshly and leaving her looking like a human panda.

“She didn’t break up with me,” Nina sniffed, finally seeming to calm down.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

“I broke up with her.”

This was at least twenty times worse than what Brooke had feared. Pulling away, she fixed Nina with a look of complete incredulity. “You did what?!”

Nina rubbed at her eyes again, this time with her fingers. “Yeah, because obviously I can’t have anything fucking half-decent in my life without completely sabotaging it or making it go to shit, can I? I broke up with her, I’m a fucking idiot. Happy?”

Brooke could only blink in response as Nina leaned back and let her head hit the pillow, her stare boring into the ceiling. Her thoughts were all colliding. This was the most sudden and unexpected event, and it had completely knocked her for six. “Rewind. I thought you and Monet were fine?”

“We were fine,” Nina sighed so deeply that Brooke wasn’t sure she would have any air left in her lungs. “I was so fucking happy, Jesus. But there’s always a catch, right? Nobody can stay that happy forever, it’s always got to come to an end at some point.”

She stopped and sat up, propping her head against the headboard. Not looking Brooke in the eye, Nina continued. “She started being really distant with me. Not replying to texts for ages, being really deep in thought when we were together. I’d ask her what was wrong, but…she’d just always say nothing was. I was over at her flat the other night, we’d had a nap together and I woke up and she wasn’t there. I went into her living room and she was there with two of her flatmates. They stopped talking the second I got in, honestly I might as well have caught them all in the middle of a massive fucking orgy,” Nina laughed humourlessly. “And then it clicked. It all started after I told Monet about you and Vanessa. Nothing bad…just about how you weren’t sure, and how it’s better to just break up with somebody if you’re having second thoughts about them. It all made sense. Her being distant, always seeming off, obviously talking to her flatmates about it and having to stop because I came in. She didn’t fucking want me anymore, Brooke.”

Shocked, Brooke could only put her arms around her friend as she leaned into her chest and began to cry again. Nothing about it seemed to fit. Monet was absolutely head over heels for Nina, anyone could have seen it. It all seemed so out of the blue and sudden. Brooke tried to think about the last time Monet had been over at the flat. It had been about a week ago and Monet had seemed fine- although, now that Brooke thought about it, Monet had seemed a little quiet. Almost nervous, Brooke considered. But she was still cuddling Nina and giving her small kisses and paying her attention. It didn’t make any sense. Brooke frowned. “Nina, are you sure she actually wanted to break up with you?”

“I wondered it too. Because I didn’t want to believe it, of course. But then yesterday we were just lying in bed doing nothing. She was on her phone and my head was on her chest. I saw what was on her screen just for a second and she’d fucking-” Nina sighed, cutting herself off. “- typed this guy’s name into Google. Obviously some guy she’s met and she’s trying to find him on social media. I actually felt like I’d been stabbed, Brooke. Obviously she saw me, because she only got as far as the first name and then closed her phone. But I know what I saw, you know?”

Brooke’s frown only got deeper. “But that makes no sense. Why would she look someone up on Google, what is this, the fucking 90’s?”

“Brooke, you weren’t there. You should have seen how quickly she shut her phone off, and she was instantly all over me and telling me how lucky she was and-” Nina’s speech was interrupted by a bubble of a sob. “Oh fuck, it hurt so much. And today she woke up with me and was all "Happy Valentine’s Day!” and all that shit. I couldn’t do it, Brooke. I couldn’t make myself look like an idiot any longer. I suggested going for coffee and while we were out I just…I just fucking did it. Oh my God, it was so so bad, Brooke. She looked so fucking destroyed and she was so pissed off with me that I thought it was all a mistake but…fuck, I didn’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’ve done.“

Brooke sighed, desperately not wanting to believe it was over between the two girls. "But didn’t she explain herself? I mean what did you actually say to her? Did you confront her?”

“Jesus, no! No, I didn’t want to make it look like I was this poor, lovesick, pining idiot who was making a fool of herself over her! I jumped before I was pushed. I pretended I was the one whose feelings had changed, that it wasn’t working for me anymore. It was all a crock of shit, but she obviously believed it.”

Brooke bit the skin at the side of her thumb. There was a silence. “But didn’t she try to make you stay? Didn’t she fight for you?”

“She-” Nina cut herself off. Brooke looked down and saw tears pouring down her face, and her heart broke. “- she just sat and looked at me. Something in her eyes just…shut down. They just went all glassy, like those black marbles you got as a kid, remember? Anyway I said my piece and she just…ugh, she just nodded. She just nodded and went "Right. Got it.” in the most cold voice and then she got up, put on her coat and left. And I let her.“

With that, Nina swept her hands under her eyes and heaved a gut-wrenching shudder of a sigh. Brooke was at a loss of what to say. She had thought Nina and Monet were made for each other, and the fact that Nina had thrown it away for the sake of what Brooke was sure had to be a misunderstanding was gutting. She heaved a similar sigh to Nina’s.

"Look at us. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’re both single, we’re both here regretting breaking up with someone-”

“Wait what?” Nina asked suddenly, eyeing Brooke with suspicion. It was only then that Brooke had realised what she’d said. Startled, she backtracked.

“Well, I mean, not regretting breaking up with her, just regretting causing her hurt,” she said, Nina nodding quietly. Although Brooke was still spooked. Why had that thought popped into her head, let alone out of her mouth? She didn’t regret breaking up with Vanessa. It was the ick, just like Plastique had said. She had changed her mind. She couldn’t exactly change it back.

Could she?

“Why don’t we watch a film? I’ll bring my laptop through, get snacks from the kitchen. You don’t even need to move from this room. Or this bed,” Brooke suggested, ignoring the dangerous thoughts swirling round her mind. Nina gave a sniff and a silent nod.

“21 Jump Street?” she offered hopefully, Brooke unable to help the small laugh that escaped her mouth at the suggestion.

“This from the queen of Disney?”

“Disney’s too happy for me right now,” Nina moped, wiggling underneath her duvet cover. Brooke screwed up her face.

“Too happy? C’mon, you’ve seen Bambi. And Lion King. And Big Hero 6. And-”

“Brooke I swear to God if you don’t go get your laptop and stick on 21 Jump Street,” Nina warned, not finishing the empty threat. Laughing, Brooke did as she was told. She could only hope that the film would be enough of a distraction to her and to Nina for the next two hours.

She had no idea what they’d do once those two hours were up.

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anarchistgumball · 5 years

Text

Kirichako

I was going to get this to 2,000 words but im tired- No warnings necessary

words: 1,856

Pairing: Kirishima x Uraraka

This is in my bakukami AU to which the first part will be here

The first time he really noticed her was her fight with Bakugo. She was determined, strong, and had wits; there was no doubt about it, even if she did end up losing. Uraraka had earned Bakugo’s respect and Kirishima’s admiration that day. After that he started trying to hang around her more. Getting ice cream with her group and when Bakugo wasn’t around to help him, he studied with her. They had a stable, fun friendship and that was good enough for Kirishima.

Kirishima’s affection for Uraraka grew after graduation however, and he spent nights thinking of her. He was planning on confiding in Bakugo, his flatmate, but while the other respected Uraraka he probably wouldn’t understand Kirishima’s crush. So he told Mina, and Sero, and then Kaminari found out- telling Bakugo. Bakugo just snorted saying how Kirishima ‘wasn’t subtle’, while the rest were eager to play matchmaker.

“Come on, ask her out!!” Mina said, shaking his arm. “Any girl would be lucky to have you anyways!”

“Yeah, you’re like perfect boyfriend material, dude” Kaminari added. Kirishima went red and scratched at the back of his neck. “I dont know guys….”

“C’mon Kiri you’re like, perfect” While Sero meant it he also just kind of wanted to embarrass the other. Which he succeeded at. Kirishima was now hiding his face in his hands, but they could see him smiling.

“Guuuuyyyss”

“What? You know its true” Mina poked his head. “Go ask her out, what could go wrong?”

“Everything”

Mina sighed, and kissed him on the forehead. “Well I have to go but call me when you stop being a drama queen”

“I have to go with her but seriously dude, just go for it” Sero said getting up and following Mina. Kaminari smiled at him telling him “I agree” Then went to the table to start on paperwork.

He was patrolling with her today. Fuck. Normally this would be great news, patrolling with one of his friends? Awesome. But with the development of his feelings he didn’t trust himself to not say something dumb. The first fifteen minutes Uraraka chalked up to tiredness, though Kirishima usually woke up at ungodly hours…

“You okay Kiri? Something up?” Kirishima yawned, okay tiredness then she guessed.

“Just tired” He confirmed “Didn’t go to bed until like twelve am”

“Hm, did something keep you up?”

“Yeah, I guess my thoughts did” Kirishima wished he was less tired so he would know how to steer away from this conversation.

“Wanna talk about it?” They were rounding into an ally now and after Uraraka’s eyes swept over the area she looked up at him. She looked like she cared, Kirishima practically felt his insides melt.

“You’re really pretty” Dammit. Abort, abort. That didn’t even relate to what she asked, maybe he was picking up on some of Kaminari’s dumbass since the other moved in.

“Oh what? Uh Thank you, Kirishima.” She smiled slightly, and blushed profusely. Her fingers came up to twirl around each other, out of embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t….” Mean it? He did for one thing and didnt want to come across as a dick.

“Ah no, I just wasn’t expecting it is all, you’re pretty too….” She internally cursed herself, while Kirishima tried to not faint.

“Thank you!” His smile was bright, and his stance seemed taller, more confident than before. She wanted to see him like that more.

“She called me pretty, Bakugo! Pretty! Me!” Kirishima was practically gushing about Uraraka to anyone who would listen. Unfortunately for Bakugo he was home. He just snorted. Kaminari entered their flat while Kirishima was pouting in Bakugo’s general direction. He threw his keys on the accent table and headed over to them.

“What’s up?”

“Bakugo’s being mean”

“Ah what the heck, Baku, how could you be mean to this puffball” He circled around the counters to playfully punch Bakugo on the arm. The tips of his ears flushed, something you wouldn’t notice unless you’ve spent years living with him and just as long listening to him talk wistfully about Kaminari. Kirishima stifled a laugh.

The blond chopping vegetables just grumbled “Kirishima won’t stop fucking fawning over Round Face”

Kaminari turned to face him “So did something happen? Did you man up and ask her out?”

“No… but she called me pretty!” Kirishima was smiling again, head up in the clouds. Kaminari smiled, but looked sad? Shit. Kirishima should really think. His own grin dimmed seeing Kaminari.

“Sorry, kami…. I wasn’t…”

“No, it’s fine dude, get your girl”

“I just-” He honestly didn’t know what to say for, like, the gazillionth time that day. Kaminari had just been cheated on and here he was flaunting how he might be getting somewhere with the girl he liked! Was he getting somewhere?

“I get it man, it’s not like you can control your feelings- the only reason i’d care is if you liked Jiro”

Kirishima supposed he had wanted it to sound light and joking when it mostly just came off ... depressing. Bakugo was silent, probably unknowing of how to help the situation and not really liking to talk about Kaminari’s feelings for Jiro. For more than one reason.

“Hey, Kirishima!!” Uraraka said, waving.

Kirishima looked up from his paperwork, which if he was being honest, he didn’t want to do.

“Oh! Hey, Uraraka!” He smiled at her.

“I was wondering if you would want to go to the gym with me at some point? Deku has his schedule filled to the brim again” She laughed a little, shaking her head. The dude did need to take more breaks, even if he was the number one hero.

“Uh, yeah, I would love to! What day works best for you? I’m open after five everyday this week, unless, y’know, an emergency.”

“Maybe Thursday? At 6:30?” She was twirling her hair around her finger. It was cute.

“Yeah, sounds great” He grinned at her and she brightened considerably, unless it was just him thinking that.

“Well I’ll let you get back to work now” He groaned.

“How could you leave me, Uraraka? I’m going to drown in this paperwork or die of boredom! Do you want me dead?” She giggled.

“What if I did” She said playfully, he gasped, dramatically placing one of his hands against his chest.

“You wound me” She laughed while walking out.

“I’ll see you later, Kiri!”

It was Thursday, and he was on the phone with Mina. They were both freaking out over what Kirishima was going to wear to his “date”. They were apparently too loud and an angry Bakugo joined them.

“What the hell are you guys yelling about?!” Bakugo, very appropriately, yelled.

“What Kiri’s going to wear to his very, very important date with Uraraka!!” Mina said, speech semi garbled from the shirt covering Kirishima’s phone.

“Did he finally manage to fuckin’ ask her out?” Ignoring Kirishima to talk to Mina.

“No, but she asked him…. Well kind of…”

“The hell you mean?”

“Well she asked to train with him, alone!”

“...Okay?” Bakugo looked perplexed, brows furrowed.

“Well she obviously wants to spend more time with him, so it’s basically a date”

Bakugo scoffed. Then he turned to Kirishima.

“She’s seen you in work out gear before, idiot, just wear something.”

Kirishima rolled his eyes, Mina sighing loudly.

“Ooooooh I have an actual good idea!” Mina said.

“Let’s here it” Kirishima was getting a little impatient, but still wanted to listen to his friends advice.

“You know that one gray tank top that shows off your ribs and shit? Wear that with like, your light pink gym shorts!”

“Yes! Mina thank you! I love you, but I need to go now”

“Okay, fill me in later!”

The call ended and Bakugo got up and left, rolling his eyes. Once Kirishima was dressed in the outfit Mina picked he headed for the gym.

Kirishima was on the treadmill warming up when Uraraka arrived, she didn’t seem to notice him so he waved.

“Hey Uraraka, over here!” She noticed him, smiled and waved, walking over. She started stretch near where he was.

“So how was your day?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Boring, mostly. Paperwork and the like, but Mina took me out to lunch!”

“Oh awesome! Iida and Deku were both busy so i spent most of the day laying around”

“Oh you should’ve said something, I can always make time for one of my bros!” Uraraka blushed, maybe. Maybe it was because she started running next to him. They ran for about twenty minutes, then did some other exercises. At almost the end she asked him if they could lift weights together. She laughed a little when explaining. “I thought you’d be the best because you know….” Kirishima cocked his head in confusion. She was definitely blushing now. “You’re just really strong and I thought you could maybe give me pointers?”

“Of course!” Kirishima flexed, always showing off when he had the chance. Compliments were always amazing, especially if they were from Uraraka.

She had done thirty- five now struggling with the heavy barbell. Her whole face was red, Kirishima having to remind her to breathe multiple times, but determined. She lifted the bar over her head again with Kirishima encouraging her. She got to forty before she tried to put it back, Kirishima finally grabbing it and putting it back for her. She had her eyes closed, managing her breathing.

“That was amazing!” She grinned at him, still laying down.

“My arms feel like noodles…. But I’m going to keep at it until I can beat you”

“Excuse me I am unbeatable, but seriously, that was manly as hell” He felt his ears burning wondering if he should’ve said something else. She sat up slowly.

“Thanks, for what it’s worth I think your manly as hell too” She stood, walked over to where he was and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. She left saying ‘see you later’ grabbing her bag on the way out. Kirishima was frozen, probably looking like a tomato.

He called Mina, squealing on the phone about what happened with her. The next day he realized he’d have to see Uraraka and almost screamed into his pillow, thinking of what he was going to say. What the hell was he going to say?

Was he glowing? He felt like he was glowing. Bakugo seemed to scowl at him but maybe that was because he kept him up almost have the night. Once he got to work (after being stopped by a villian attack) he saw Uraraka. She was talking to Iida and Shinso. He walked over to them, getting a coffee while saying hello to everyone.

“I had fun last night Kiri” Shinso raised an eyebrow but Kirishima answered the question he didn’t actually say out loud.

“Yeah, we should really work out again sometime…. But before that you wanna go out with me to this new restaurant?” He grinned, hopeful.

“I would love too” He hugged her grinning, probably too much, waving at the other two before heading back to his office to excitedly text Mina.

#bakubitch writes #Kirichako #kirishima eijirou #uraraka ochako #Kirishima x Uraraka #pls reblog #umm i feel like there are more tags i wanna use but whatever

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whitecrossgirl · 5 years

Text

Off Limits

AN: So I wanted to put a bit of a spin on the best friend’s sibling AU where instead of Tyrion and Brienne being friends first, she’s friends with Cersei first; Cersei may seem OOC but I’m also trying to do a modern, non-incest, mentally stable version of her. I hope you like it.

Best Friend’s Sibling AU

On the surface, they seemed like two of the least likely people to get along, never mind become friends. They were total and complete opposites; Cersei was loud, confident and more focused on partying and clubbing rather than her university studies. Brienne was quiet, shy and studious, more interested in pre-reading for the next lecture than pre-drinking for a night out. It seemed like the universe’s cruel idea of a joke; sticking them as the only two girls in a student halls flat with four boys. Outnumbered by two to one; they realised that they had to stick together.

As time passed, the two young women managed to get along. They banded together to make sure the boys; Jon, Tormund, Loras and Podrick did their share of the cleaning, taking out trash and dishes. Brienne helped to look after Cersei on the nights she got too drunk to take herself home. Cersei’s tough no-bullshit attitude meant that the bullying Brienne had had to deal with was non-existent. They bonded over hangovers, assignment stress and lazy days watching movies. Both of them had struggled to make friends in the past and still carried pain over losing their mothers at a young age; so having a friend who felt like a true friend was a comfort to them both.

Until Cersei’s brother Jaime came to their university in Kings Landing from his in Riverrun to celebrate their birthday together. After all, there was one cardinal rule between friendship and siblings.

A friend’s sibling was off limits.

Rules were also made to be broken.

“I need you to promise me something,” Cersei said as she curled Brienne’s hair in front of the mirror. They were getting ready to go out that night as part of Cersei’s birthday and Brienne was trying to mix her a drink without moving too much; a talent she had mastered after nearly two months of university.

“Make sure you don’t go home with Euron again?” Brienne suggested with a smile as she set the vodka and lemonade on the dresser. Cersei smirked as she took a drink. Euron had just been her Fresher’s Week fling who still thought he stood a chance with her. It wasn’t her fault that he caught feelings.

“It’s not that, it’s about Jaime.” Cersei said and Brienne shot her a puzzled expression in the mirror.

“What about him?” Brienne asked. She had spoken to Jaime before, when he would FaceTime Cersei but she had only met him for the first time today. He seemed to be likeable enough; fairly similar to Cersei; confident, loud and clearly eager to hit the nightclubs in the Capital.

“Promise me that you won’t flirt with him or get off with him.” Cersei said as she sprayed Brienne with hairspray. “I know that sounds like a weird thing to say but this always used to happen. Girls would claim to be my friend or want to hang out or invite me out; just to try and get close to him. I’m not saying to not speak to him; just, don’t shag him.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Brienne retorted. She knew that it was one of the sore spots Cersei tried to hide, especially with the bitchy, ice-queen persona she adapted most of the time; the part of her that was insecure, insecure about her looks, her studies, her life; the insecurities predominantly caused from being raised by Tywin Lannister (who by the sounds of it demanded perfection and nothing less from his children.) “I don’t even think he’s my type anyway.”

“The two of you would definitely be good friends; he’s a History nerd like you, plus he listens to Oathkeeper and watches that dumb Clash of Crowns show that you marathon on days off.” Cersei said as she put the curling wand away and picked up her makeup kit.

“Oh no you don’t, I said you could do my hair. Not the make up.” Brienne said; that was where she drew the line. The last time Cersei tried to do her make up, Brienne swore she looked like a drag queen. Cersei pouted before taking another drink and turning back to the mirror.

Brienne’s promise to stay away from Jaime lasted all of five hours. In that time, they had gone to one of their favourite clubs in the city; one that was both close enough to walk to and was cheap enough for students. The music had been incredible and the three of them had spent the night drinking, laughing and messing about on the dancefloor. By the time it was closing time and the DJ was playing his third final song; Brienne saw Cersei walking out of the door, hand in hand with a Dornish guy Brienne vaguely recognised from the fifth floor of the student halls; leaving her alone with Jaime.

“Where’s she gone?” Jaime yelled in between chants for one more song and bouncers trying to shepherd the crowd out.

“She’s with some lad!” Brienne called back as they squeezed through the crowd onto the street. “He lives in halls too, she’ll be fine.”

After getting some food from a quickly filling chip shop and spending fifteen minutes looking for a taxi; Jaime and Brienne decided to walk back to the halls together. As they walked, the cold air seemed to begin to help sober them up slightly, although Brienne did have to stop Jaime from stumbling into a hedge at least twice before they got back to the student halls. As they walked inside, the unmistakable sounds from Cersei’s room made Jaime groan in frustration and cover his ears.

“Urgh, I did not need to hear that.” Jaime complained before remembering something obvious. “Shit; I was meant to sleep in there tonight.”

“Look, my room’s furthest away from her bedroom. Hers is next to the kitchen and that wall is as thin as paper. You can crash in there if you want.” Brienne offered and Jaime nodded; his hands still clasped over his heads; although it did little to block out the sounds he was hearing.

There were just some things that siblings shouldn’t hear.

“Thanks,” Jaime said as he walked into Brienne’s room and sat at her desk chair. Brienne pulled a bundle from the top of her wardrobe and handed it to him. “What’s this?”

“A sleeping bag,” Brienne said and pointed to the door next to the wardrobe. “There’s a bathroom in there if you need it.”

“Thank you,” Jaime said, quickly darting in and using it. Afterward, he unfurled the sleeping bag and tried to find a comfortable piece of floor. As he did, Jaime glanced around and spotted one of the posters on her wall. “No way, you listen to Oathkeeper too?”

“Yeah, I saw them in concert during the summer. It was amazing.” Brienne said from the bathroom.

“No way, I wanted to go but no one would go with me.” Jaime said. “Their song Sapphire Eyes, is like my favourite song.”

“Me too, that and Dreamed of You.” Brienne said as she emerged from the bathroom and Jaime glanced at her in her shortie pyjamas and felt his brain short circuit for a moment. He knew that she was tall but those legs. Finally, his brain re-engaged itself and began to work again.

“Same,” Jaime said, trying not to stare as Brienne lay on her bed and propped herself up by her elbow. “Thanks for letting me stay in here; I could have crashed in the kitchen.”

“Its fine. Like I said, the kitchen wall is stupidly thin and the chairs in there are more uncomfortable than the floor.” Brienne said as she reached behind her and tossed Jaime a pillow. “I take it, this wasn’t how you expected your birthday would end.”

“Crashing on a stranger’s floor? No, not really. No offence.” Jaime said, still trying to not focus on the thin strap that was slipping slightly off of her shoulder. Bad thoughts. Brienne was a kind person, his sister’s best friend and he had made a promise.

“None taken.” Brienne said as they heard a door slamming and loud jeering and comments being made. “Hang on a second.”

Jaime watched as she slid off her bed and walked to the door. He could assume by the noises that the rest of her flatmates were home and clearly more drunk than any of them. However, it seemed that all it took was a few short, sharp words from Brienne and a series of slamming doors had sent them all to their beds. As Brienne shut and locked the door, Jaime smiled at her.

“So you do run this flat?” Jaime teased and Brienne smiled slightly.

“Someone has to.” Brienne replied. “Then again, it’s probably only because I’m the sober one.”

“Me too; I’m not drunk anymore and I’m not even tired anymore.” Jaime said as Brienne switched on some fairy lights and turned off the main light; giving the room a soft glow.

“Are you comfortable down there?” Brienne asked and Jaime smiled.

“I’m fine. Just not tired.” Jaime replied as Brienne reached for her laptop. “What are you doing?”

“If I can’t sleep, I usually put on a movie or Clash of Crowns; it helps me sleep.” Brienne explained as Jaime sat up.

“You watch Clash of Crowns too? Who’s your favourite character?” Jaime asked quickly. “Your answer will decide my judgement of you.”

“Thanks,” Brienne laughed. “It’s either Gwendella or Ser Nikolas and I seriously ship it; so if you prefer Nikolas and Cerena; you can sleep in the hall.”

“Alright this is getting weird. Same taste in music, same favourite TV show, same favourite characters in that show. Are you sure that you’re not actually my twin?” Jaime quipped as Brienne rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure. Do you have an episode preference?” Brienne asked and Jaime shook his head. Reckless confidence made Jaime get out of the sleeping bag and sit up on her bed, draping a blanket around his shoulders as she started the most recent episode she had been up to. As they watched the show, both of them were half paying attention to it; half trying to ignore how they felt for the person sitting on the bed beside them. They had so much in common and had had such a fun night out. It felt like now, they were just trying to put off the inevitable. Both of them could feel the attraction and tension between them but neither was brave enough to do anything about it.

“I forgot that he gives her the sword in this episode,” Jaime said quietly. He had been a firm shipper of the two of them from the start. It was obvious to him that the two characters were either in love or going to fall in love. Even if the majority of the fandom disagreed and claimed that Ser Nikolas was actually in love with Lady Cerena; which was total rubbish.

“They’re so in love. Hopefully in the next season they do something about it.” Brienne added. “I’ve been calling it since the bathtub scene.”

“Call me Nikolas,” Jaime quoted, slumping dramatically over Brienne’s lap; mimicking the end to the famous scene, where a poisoned Ser Nikolas collapses in Gwendella’s arms. Jaime made the mistake of looking up into Brienne’s eyes and swallowed quickly, sitting up straight again. “Sorry,”

“Don’t be,” Brienne replied quietly. The tension slipped again between them. They’d reached the inevitable. “I made a promise.”

“So did I, but to be honest; I didn’t know that we would have so much in common or that I’d like you so much. Because I do like you, a lot. And I know we made a promise but I know how I feel and I can feel this between us and,” Jaime was cut off by Brienne’s hand resting over his.

“I know, I really like you too.” Brienne admitted honestly. She’d never felt this way about anyone before and if she was honest, the fact that Jaime was off limits did add to his appeal. As she was certain she did for him.

“She’ll kill us, won’t she,” Jaime said finally, with an air of someone having accepted his fate.

“Most likely,”

“It would be worth it,”

“Maybe,”

“Let’s find out.” Jaime decided as he kissed her. Brienne hesitated before kissing him back. Brienne broke the kiss and smiled at him, feeling a sudden rush of confidence and recklessness.

“Since we’re already dead, we may as well earn that sentence.” Brienne suggested. Jaime laughed and kissed her again. Harder. Deeper.

If this was how he was to die; in the arms and bed of Brienne Tarth; well, then he would die a happy man.

Cersei smiled proudly at herself as she shut the front door behind the Dornish guy she had brought home. Not a bad conquest, if she said so herself. As she walked into the kitchen, her smile faltered at the sight of the messy kitchen. She had assumed that Jaime would have crashed in the kitchen last night. Cersei turned and walked down the hall to Brienne’s bedroom, deciding to ask her if she had seen Jaime and to have one of their post-night out sharing sessions.

“Have you seen Jai-“ Cersei began but trailed off at the sight of Brienne, wrapped in her dressing gown. However the dressing gown didn’t cover the several love bites that covered her neck and collarbone. Jaime was nowhere to be found in the flat and Brienne was covered in hickeys that she didn’t have the night before. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

“Would it help if we said that we were sorry?” Brienne asked as Jaime walked up behind her, shirtless and wrapped his arms around her waist. Cersei looked at the two of them and shook her head with a wry laugh.

“You know what, I’m too hungover for this shit. I’m going back to bed. Do what you like but keep the noise down.” Cersei said finally.

“Why? You didn’t.” Jaime teased as Brienne playfully slapped his arm and Cersei flashed him a dangerous look before flipping him the bird and heading back to her room.

Normally, she would have gone mad at the fact her brother and best friend had broken the promise they had made her but this seemed different. Maybe it was the remnants of Sambuca and tequila she could still feel coursing in her veins but she actually thought there seemed to be more between the two of them than a one night stand. There was something in the way the two of them looked at one another, held onto each other, that seemed different. Clearly what had happened was more than just sex. Maybe it was the beginning of something special.

But Jaime was still going to pay for that last comment.

#game of thrones #fic #brienne of tarth #Jaime Lannister #Cersei Lannister #braime #jaime x brienne #best friend's sibling au

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heyyyharry · 5 years

Note

Will u consider on writing a blurb where y/n finally gotten sick of harry’s friends treating her like shit and that she tells harry that they should stop being flatmates because she can’t take it when his friends talking about her behind her back? I feel like that’ll be so sad:(

writing another blurb to hide the fact that i’m struggling with finishing the full chapters of both series.

“I don’t think…I’ll still be here next month.”

Harry’s eyes grow wide to the sound of her words. Just a second ago he was so thrilled that their neighbors Ben and Mark invited them to their anniversary party next month, and to receive an answer like that wasn’t any different from getting splashed a whole ice bucket in the face.

“W-What do you mean?” he chuckles nervously, hoping she’s not serious. “You’re not here like…you have to go back home or something…?”

“No, I—”

“You’re going on a trip?” Please let it be the answer. Don’t say what I think you’re going to say.

“I think I should move out.”

Harry almost chokes. This isn’t the first time he’s heard this announcement. He quickly asks her if it’s like the last time when her parents got in debt and she couldn’t afford the rent, because he offered to help her pay her part so he doesn’t understand why she still wants to move out.

“No, my family’s fine…it’s just…” Y/N starts rubbing her arm as she tilts to the side to rest her weight against the fridge. “I don’t think we should…um…be flatmates anymore…”

“Are you serious?” he breathes out a laugh, and she doesn’t response with one, so yes apparently she’s serious. “It was me, wasn’t it? Did I do something wrong?” Have I ever done anything right though? If I were her I’d have moved a long time ago…

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” To his surprise, that’s her answer. “You’ve been very nice to me. In fact, I don’t think I will ever find a better flatmate.”

“Then why do you want to move out? You’re not making sense. We’re perfect for each other…” He pauses and clears his throat when she stares at him. “…as flatmates…”

“It’s your friends.”

“My friends? What do my friends have to do with this?”

“I’m sure they are nice people in some ways but they haven’t been very nice…to me.” She shrugs, frowning as she takes a deep breath. “They did and said a lot of things that hurt my feelings…”

“I didn’t…know that…” Harry mumbles under his breath. Of course he’s aware that his friends could be rude to his flatmate and he’s told them to stop plenty of times. But because Y/N never reacted or said anything about it, he thought she didn’t take their words seriously. Now that he knows his friends hurt her feelings, he feels like it’s entirely his fault.

“Every time they came over I always had to stay in my room. Apart from Niall, they’re all jerks by the way.”

“Love, I didn’t know you felt that way. You should’ve told me.”

“What for?” She shakes her head at him. “I don’t want you to stop hanging out with them just because of me.”

“I only hang out with them because of Niall.”

“Yeah, and Niall comes with Layla, you can’t separate those two, Layla comes with the rest, so…” Y/N starts fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, the heavy atmosphere in their kitchen makes her even more anxious, especially when she has to make the most difficult decision ever.

She loves Harry, and she knows if she moves away, it’ll be the end for them, it’s not like she thinks they have a shot to be together or anything, but at least when they’re under the same roof, they’re still something. As soon as she moves out, they have no other reason to stay friends, and things go back to the way they were, well, for him; whereas for her, she doesn’t think it’s possible to pretend that she never knows him.

They end the conversation there because Y/N says she needs to go to bed early, the real reason is, however, to avoid talking more about this topic knowing the more he says, the likelier she is to change her mind.

The next morning, Y/N leaves the flat before Harry wakes up so as to not face him. She tries to not think too much about her decision to move out, everytime she does she ends up getting soft for him. This time she must be assertive. It’s not like they’ll ever be together. Harry belongs to people like his friends, and he’ll be better off without her.

Ironically, on her way to her third class, Y/N runs into Harry’s friends - Niall, Layla, Liam and Louis. Harry’s not with them, and normally they would just ignore her (unless Layla comes up with something sarcastic to say), but this time, they actually stop for her.

“Y/N,” Niall begins as he takes a deep breath. “We have something to say to you.”

Y/N remains speechless, still so confused. Liam quickly nudges Louis who apparently forgets it’s now his turn to speak. The oldest guy stutters a few times before he can actually say what he has to say, “we’re very sorry…for the ways we’ve been treating you, Y/N. Most of the times we were just joking but some jokes went a bit too far. It wasn’t our intention to hurt your feelings.”

“We hope you can forgive us,” Liam adds in. “We didn’t think much about the things we said and we were rude and inconsiderate.”

“You’re also Harry’s friend so I guess it means you’re one of us…” Niall takes the wheel, the smooth transition makes Y/N giggle because she knows this isn’t improvised. Those aren’t probably all of their words.

“…We promise from now on we’ll treat you with nothing but kindness.”

Yup, definitely Harry's words. However, Y/N very appreciates the fact that they agreed to apologize to her, even though Harry told them to.

“It’s okay guys…we can put everything behin—”

“We’re not finished,” Niall interrupts the girl then nudges Layla, who’s staring at the ceiling, hoping people would just forget it’s her turn to apologize.

“Okay fine.” She rolls her eyes, sighing. “I’m sorry.”

“For…?” Niall suggests and the uncomfortable look on Layla’s face makes Y/N smile. Layla rarely apologizes so to have her say those two words she just did was already a miracle, Y/N doesn’t need anything more than that.

“For making fun of your outfits, your hair,…you in general.”

Niall facepalms himself and the other boys groan in reaction to Layla’s ‘sincere apology’, which, unlike the others’, is definitely improvised, yet Y/N has no problem with it, at least Layla said the words ‘I’m sorry’ herself.

That evening, when Y/N returns to her flat, smiling from ear to ear, Harry greets her with as much enthusiasm. He asks about her day as if he knew nothing at all, when she’s positive that it was him who made his friends apologize to her.

“H, what did you say to your friends?” she asks while he’s pouring her a glass of water.

“Nothing.” Harry shakes his head as he hands it to her with a cheeky smile. “Why? Did something happen?”

“Nope.” She shrugs, smiling back, and in this moment they both know what the other person’s thinking. Still, Harry needs a confirmation from her to be sure that she’s changed her mind about leaving him and their flat.

“So…” Y/N breaks the silence as she puts down the empty glass, beaming at her flatmate. “Should we bring a gift to Ben and Mark’s party?”

#answered #flatmate!harry answered #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot

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