Good Evening All 🛌
20210415 23:29 NYC
Your content creator, Charisse, here reporting live- despite falling off the face of the earth for the entirety of the day. 😅
It's been a doozy of a day. For once in a long time, I have been overwhelmed by positive changes and not the alternative 🙃
I have less than 30 minutes left in the day so I will try to make this quick.
Health is wealth.
Just something that's important to remember as you're going through life.
And it's more than just your physical health. And your physical health is more than just your ability to get out of bed on your own.
So pay careful attention to your body, to your mind, and to your spirits.
My social health was in really bad shape. It had an "undiagnosed illness" that was sabotaging every *shiny* new "treatment" I'd throw at it.
I am so grateful now that I never gave up on my social health and never let the idea stick that it could never be resolved.
Today I'm taking responsibility for it and owning it fully and I am doing a lot better because of it 🥰
-Charisse of bycharisse
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So my aunt is helping her business this month with their autism awareness promotion, which is fine, except the business is promoting Autism Speaks, which anyone who's done the bare minimum research into organizations for autism knows is an absolute trash organization.
I want to call her out, I really do. I highly doubt she knows how problematic they are. Unfortunately, I have near crippling social anxiety, and just the thought of reaching out, let alone reaching out to correct her...no...no, just no.
But I feel like the worst hypocrite. How can I say I advocate for minorities when I can't even call out the ignorance and bigotry in my own family?
Working as a janitor and having social anxiety.
I meet many people every day but are seldom working with some else. In other words, the perfect environment to ease my social anxiety, if approached consciously that is. Any place, time, or situation can be perfect, but if you don’t have the knowledge or awareness of how to grow there, you will not develop, but that’s another topic..
So, here are some things about human interaction I’ve learned and hope can help some else who has social anxiety.
The greeting. Omg, I hate to say hi to people I don’t know. What if they don’t see or hear my "hi"? What if I say it too soon or too late? What if they don’t look at me, it’s SO strange to look too long at someone and try saying hi but they never look up! Awkward!
The solution. It’s all about the eye contact and angel of the body. So, I work a lot outdoors, someone is approaching from far, they see me and I them for a looong time before being close enough to speak. The solution? I look up when I see them, preferably eye contact if it’s possible, but at least I do the proper head motion so they see that I have seen them. Next. When they are at an angle of roughly 45 degrees to me when passing, I again look up and give them a "ah, I recognize you, hi" - kind of nod, or a "hi". For me, that angle is superb, but I think this can be different for everyone. It's almost like saying hi to someone you talked to just a little while ago. It's recognition, familiar. Works 90% of the time.
The "hi". What if I can't say a proper "hi"? What if my words get stuck? What if I say "bye"?!
The solution. Practise. Practice by yourself with a few responses. I now have a few in my vocabulary. It's "hi", and "hello", and some variations on them. Since English isn't my day to day language, these are the ones I use, not sure how to translate them in a good way: "hej" (= hi), "hejhej" ( = double hi ;), "tjenare" (= a very familiar way of hello), "godmorgon" ( = good morning, gotta love when there is already a socially accepted code for greetings!)
More on greetings and farewells. Practice using what already is set by social norms. In the mornings, say "good morning", near the weekend, say "have a good weekend", near the evening, say "have a good night".
The key is to practice and then scale at what pace you are comfortable. Use on friends, family, or whomever you feel safe with. The next step can be a trusted person at work or school. Then you take it outside your comfort bubble. A cashier at a place you seldom shop at? Perfect. They'll never meet you again.
Take it at the pace you want. It's not a race. There is no end prize or goal. There may be an initiation to a very good talk though, somewhere along the way. Or a smile from someone. And remember, people passing by our lives aren't that observant as we are. Our hypervigilance makes everything scary. That's not the common way for most people. You are safe now <3
What the hell!?
I’m so god damn hungry and my school is having free lunches, so there shouldn’t be a problem, right!? Well guess what, lunch is over and I still haven’t eaten. I’m so freaking scared of walking over to the lunch line and getting lunch. I shouldn’t be, there is no reason to be; I know this, but that doesn’t suddenly make it easier to get up and go get food. I feel like I’m paralyzed in fear, but I don’t even know what I’m scared of! This sucks. I just want to fucking eat! This shouldn’t be this hard. And I’m all alone; I sit by myself at lunch because none of my friends have this lunch period, so I can’t even ask for their help. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to overcome this? The only suggestions I’ve gotten so far, are all from my mother, and are her pretty much just telling me to ‘get over it’, followed by her saying ‘it’s not that hard’. She has no idea how hard it is; no one takes my problems seriously because they don’t impact them, and when they do, people still don’t care, they just get mad at me instead of trying to provide me with any sort of help that I have asked for on many occasions. Seriously, does anyone have any idea on how to fix this situation?