just friends | peter parker
↳ a collaboration with sophia - @cherrytholland
synopsis → unrequited love never goes well when it’s with your best friend - especially when said best friend has his eyes set on a certain gwen stacy. add that to neglect, loneliness and the feeling of loving someone you shouldn’t, and you’ve got a load of hurt feelings that will eventually explode.
genre → bestfriend!peter, friends to lovers au, ANGST ANGST ANGST because this is part one and soph has part two !!
word count → 6.3k
playlist → someone like you = adele | gone = jorja smith | rise up = andra day
a/n → guys i’m so scared to post this :// BUT thank you sophia - cherrytholland - for bearing with me. you’re so patient babe, i don’t even know how. i’ve been procrastinating on this fic for so long and yet, you’re always there with the support. i love you so much <33
note → this is part one to a two-part fic. @cherrytholland is currently writing the second part ! this fic also includes gwen as peter’s secondary love interest :)
IT’S NOT FAIR to miss someone who isn’t yours to miss.
it’s not fair to think about someone in a way that you shouldn’t be thinking in.
and it’s definitely not fair to love someone who isn’t yours to love.
and yet, lately, you’ve found yourself doing all three of those things.
when did you start liking your best friend? it’s hard to pinpoint when, and at this point you need a why more than a when. maybe it was when he tripped you accidentally, or when he held your hand even though he was the one scared of the dark. when he lied to that scary teacher to protect you (the same one who you still, to this day, claim had fangs). or maybe it was that time when he brushed the hair out of your eyes and told you he was so happy to have you in his life.
right now, you’re both at your house, working on a project that’s bound to take a chunk of your schedule. you’ve been meeting up after school consistently, sometimes at his, sometimes at yours, and sometimes in the library where you sneak him food under the table. a lot of the time, you both divert to star wars in no less than five minutes. but the more time you get to spend with peter, the better. he’s sweet, funny, and insanely cute; what more could you ask for?
oh, here’s an idea: maybe i could ask to stop thinking about my platonic relationship with my best friend romantically.
no shit, sherlock.
it’s not like you’ve had time to process your supposed feelings, you’ve been busy as it is. and, even better, your parents are.. at odds, and it’s been these sessions with peter that have allowed you to get out of the house, have some fun, and not worry about personal stress adding to work stress. and today you haven’t had the best day. not. at. all.
IT STARTED WHEN ned bumped into you on your way to your locker. he was only trying to drop off some notes from one of your classes, but your hurried walking, the coffee in your hand and his frantically-scribbled physics papers landed you in the bathroom with a stain of a cocoa hue down the front of your shirt. your jacket had been what saved you, and you’d buttoned the front of it and plastered a believing smile on your face for the rest of the day.
said physics (which you’d been late to) had been a pain, mainly because peter had a different class to you, and your lab partner was none other than flash, who normally is surprisingly decent to you, although he has a habit of being annoying at all the wrong times.
he’d made a show of having no interest in the work (nor did you, considering your tumultuous morning), saying your name repetitively.. asking why you hung out with peter – “he just talks about lego and star wars.” – and you wondered why he’d even bothered to show up when all he was doing was giving you a headache.
then you’d had to listen to the aforementioned flash droning on and on and on about some new spiderman fad during lunch – he’d clearly taken your offer to wait for him as an offer to annoy you – mainly since peter had been away doing something, with ned, you assumed. mj had been waiting for you at the usual table, her head covered by a book compiling of grisly murders, but had caved the minute flash spoke.
“where’s the dickwad?” flash had asked, and mj had ignored him as she’d turned a page. you’d sighed and drummed your fingers on the table. you weren’t hungry, so you sat there, counting down for shit to go down.
“and nedkins? where did penis and nedkins get up to?”
“probably up to their collectibles or some immature crap.”
“look, eugene.” flash’s mouth had shut at the sudden speech from michelle, and you guessed what he was thinking. something along the lines of, oh, she talks? “today’s been a shitty day, and i really just can’t make myself listen to your shit.” mj had said with a barely concealed scowl. “capishe?” before you could say anything back, she’d stalked off, with a “see you later, y/n,” to you. so you weren’t the only one having a terrible day.
history had been a complete pain in the ass, and your mind was all over the place. you had so much to think about and so little time to think about it. and yet your mind was still on peter completely. you just needed his touch.
you had some miscellaneous classes across the day, but it was your last that calmed you, because finally, you could see peter. you and him shared the class, and you needed someone to tell you you weren’t going crazy, and someone to rant about your heap of work and the situation at home.
a few weeks ago, you’d be happy to go home and jump onto your bed, but these last few days had been discomforting. there was tension with a lot of things, and it had been growing by the day. you hadn’t had a chance to tell pete over the week, but seeing him would be comfort enough, and during your study session, you’d hopefully be able to talk it out and get a hug.
his hugs were the best.
you sat at your desk, waiting for the minutes to pass and for class to start. students filed in as normal, and you watched with anticipation as you waited for peter to take his seat next to you. the time ticked by, and you grew tense, your attention completely focused on peter, and peter alone.
he arrived late with a genuine yet rushed apology, and you exhaled relievingly. he took his seat next to you like any other day, and you looked over to him with a curious expression. as you opened your mouth to ask him where he’d been, you noticed his gaze flit down to a text on his phone, before stuffing it in his pocket. you said nothing, although you noted a flush on his cheeks, pink and bright, all freckled and flustered. it was extraordinarily cute, but a bubble of something sad and confused appeared at the bottom of your stomach. why weren’t you the one to make him feel like that?
class eventually finished, and in what seemed like forever, you and pete were walking out of school.
“so, you gonna tell me where you went or why you left me alone?” you asked peter jokingly, although a hint of worry remained in your voice.
“oh, i had a lot of work, so ned and i had to study. s-sorry for not telling you.” peter said, and you nodded as convincingly as you could. he seemed chirpy- on edge. you frowned slightly as he smiled widely, as if remembering something from earlier, and your mind flicked back to his flustered expression. as if noticing you were there, he glanced at you apologetically.
“you’re still coming over for the project, right?” you asked, and hoped the answer wouldn’t be no.
“oh, definitely. wouldn’t miss it for anything.” he said, and your mind cleared. you’d instantly forgiven him for being absent because of those seven words. seven words.
and here you two were, studying. or he is, whilst you stare at him under your lashes as unnoticeably as you can. you’re sure he can tell by the gradual halt of your pencil against the paper, but his hair’s flopping in front of his eyes, and he’s as focused as anything. when he looks up, you meet his eyes, and there’s a sustained silence that’s as awkward as anything, until you both break into giggles.
“i missed you today, pete.” you say after a while, and peter deflates with a sad frown.
“i missed you too, y/n. i was just so busy. but i’m here now, to make up for everything i missed.” peter says passionately, and you poke his cheek affectionately, drawing out a smile from him. he frowns suddenly. “how was lunch with flash? how many times was i called a dickwad or penis parker?”
“only about… a thousand.” you say, and you laugh softly as peter tuts, shaking his head. “after mj left, it only increased. but he means well.” you add, feeling a twinge of affection for eugene. definitely not the weirdest thing you’ve felt lately.
“sure.” peter says, nodding exaggeratedly, although you let your gaze linger on him a bit longer. lately, you’ve been noticing way too much about him, like when his nose wrinkles when he’s trying to understand something. he’s doing it right now, and a giggle escapes you. you bring your hand to your mouth as peter looks up. “what did i do?”
“you acted like the peter parker you are.” you state simply, ruffling his hair. “want a drink?” you ask him, as you stand up and head over to your fridge. he nods, and you study the contents of your fridge.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” peter continues, and you smile.
“what do you think it means?” you counter, and peter crosses his arms as you come back over with two cans. he shrugs, and you shake your head. “don’t worry.”
“your house is so big when it’s empty.” peter notes, and your breath catches. when it’s empty. seems your parents have resorted to working late to avoid each other. you feel so lonely that it hurts to think about that. your face must fall, because peter’s expression grows worried.
“y/n.” you nod. “you okay?”
it’s the first time someone’s asked you that today, and you sigh as you fidget with the bracelet on your hand. are you okay? well, your day has been stressful, you have nothing good to come home to, you haven’t seen peter at all today and you need something to laugh or smile about.
so, no, you’re not okay.
“wanna talk about it?” peter asks, and you continue fidgeting, before nodding. he puts down his pen and turns his chair towards you. “okay y/l/n, come at me!” you smile before propping your chin up with your hands, your elbows on the table.
“life hasn’t been good lately-” buzz. it’s not your phone, and you look to peter, who rummages for his own. his eyes widen and something sparks in his pupils as he brings out the phone, and you sit up a little straighter. “what’s up?”
“may’s hurt herself.” peter says, and you blink in scared surprise.
“oh! is she okay?” you ask, scared, and peter does a half-nod.
“i’m going to have to go back, if that’s okay.” he says regretfully, and you instantly feel empty, but force a smile either way. “can i use your bathroom, real quick?” you tell him he doesn’t need to ask, and watch sadly as he hurries off.
the house is immediately bare once he leaves, and you sit, tapping your fingers against your lap as you wait for him to come back. it’s unhealthy that you rely on him so much – that your whole personality depends on whether he’s there to make you feel better about yourself. it’s especially unhealthy that your little crush on peter’s mixing with your depressed personality to create sad little y/n.
just as you’re working your way through your thoughts, there’s a buzz! and peter’s phone lights up with a notification and another, then another. you lean over, ready to presume it’s may so you can shout for peter to hurry up. it’s only when you read the notifications that you freeze.
gwen: you’re so adorable!
gwen: it’s a date :)
gwen: oh, and thanks for lunch! the library can be a lot more interesting with a friend!
your whole world comes crashing down in an instant, a feeling you’ve never felt before. you swallow as you reread the texts, and your mood seems to be darkening with a sudden, frantic worry.
gwen? peter? date? what’s going on?
you hear peter’s footsteps and you jump back quickly, inhaling sharply. peter smiles at you as he picks up his phone and pulls on his coat.
“see you again after school.” you say casually, and expect that to be the last thing said. but it’s not.
“oh, i can’t, i’m so sorry. i’m meeting up with a friend.” you damn well have an idea of who that ‘friend’ is. “but we’ve finished, haven’t we?”
you stare down at the work in front of you. the whole sheet’s filled, and it looks good enough to maintain your already good grades. your teacher’s going to be impressed, but right now, realising that your already limited time with peter’s going to dwindle, you feel anything but happy.
“see you tomorrow, y/n.” peter smiles shyly, and you nod stiffly.
you don’t know what hurts more.
the slam of the door?
the fact that peter’s been called adorable by gwen stacy? as in, pretty, intuitive, smart-as-anything gwen who, come to think of it, you’ve heard him talk about quite a few times. how could you be so dumb?
you think about the lunch he seemingly spent with gwen, his flustered expression, the text he got in that last class.
if you know peter any well, you know one thing. he likes her.
it’s sad it took three messages to realise you like him.
"YOU’VE BEEN QUIET, y/n.” mj comments at lunch the next day, and you roll your eyes as dismissively as you can muster.
“it’s cause her partner in crime’s not here.” betty says, holding up a fork to you in cheer as she says it. you shrug, although it has upset you that peter isn’t eating with you guys. then you remember someone called gwen, and something called text messages, and sigh.
“where is parker?” mj asks with emphasis, and you say nothing. you don’t really know – from what you saw, you assumed he’d at least be with you during the day, and meet up with gwen after school. it’s also upset you that he never told you. you’re his goddamn best friend. even though you like him, you’d at least like to be informed if he’s going after someone else. “shouldn’t you know?” mj says to you, and you hold up your hands in surrender.
“believe me, if i knew, i would tell you.”
“just saying,” mj huffs, “since you two are practically joined at the hips. from friends to lovers in no time.” your heart – or around that area – hurts even more at that, and you cover your face with your hands. you can feel mj’s confused gaze on you and you slowly bring your head up, just as betty speaks.
“scratch that.” she says. you follow her gaze to behind you, where peter is approaching with a pretty girl in plaid, her expression clearly ecstatic. peter’s eyes are lit as he looks at gwen, his words lost between the two of them. you lower your eyes and squeeze them shut.
“hey,” peter says to the three of you, as he sits down opposite you. gwen stands next to your table and your eyes narrow as you watch her. you want to dislike her, but you can’t. she’s just a girl who likes a boy, and you’re the one who‘s unlucky enough to be in the middle. peter’s eyes meet yours, and he smiles, before turning to gwen. “thanks for walking me over.”
“no problem,” she says, and, god, her voice is appealing. sweet and flowery, with a little touch of sultriness. “so you can help me after school?”
“y-yeah,” peter says, and you watch him with a frown as a blush grows on his cheeks. “i actually know a place. delmar’s.” um, what? you almost spit out your drink. he’s already inviting her to delmar’s? gosh, he really must like her. especially when it’s your place with him.
“oh, that would be amazing.” gwen gushes, and peter smiles widely as she nods at him once more, before looking at the rest of you, and excusing herself. “thanks again.”
“god, parker.” mj exclaims with an approving look, once gwen’s out of earshot. “so you can get the girl.”
“get the girl?” peter splutters, and he turns even more cherry red. just then, ned walks up to the table, looking behind at gwen who just left. he sits next to peter and shakes his head in wonder. “there’s nothing between gwen and me.”
“there so is!” ned interjects, and you pretend to eat your sandwich. “you and her in the library yesterday, giggling like little kids.” so they were in the library together. convenient he left that out. “you totally like her, and she likes you!”
“no, she doesn’t.” peter says firmly, but his tone is lighter, happier. you can tell by the little pricks of red on his ear, and his widened eyes. “she asked me for homework help.”
“exactly!” mj says with a self-righteous look. “she asked you for tutoring. toomes is, like, super smart.”
betty nods in agreement, and you shuffle in your seat as mj continues.
“it’s a classic high school, tutoring romance.”
“w-what?” peter stutters, clearly lost. “y/n, help me out here!”
“she likes you, pete.” you mumble, and peter frowns at your plain, bothered expression. “who wouldn’t?”
“and you like her!” ned adds, and peter’s smile re-appears as he swats ned away. “you do!”
at that point, you can’t handle it, and you stand up. “i’ve got to get to class.” you say, and grab your bag. you begin to walk away, just as peter yells, “wait!”. he runs up to you and falls in line with you, walking at the same pace.
“y/n, are you mad at me?” peter asks, and, just your luck, his sad, small voice saddens you.
“i’m not mad,” you claim, looking away to the side as you think of what to say, “but you could have at least told me you liked gwen. i- it doesn’t matter. i just haven’t been feeling too good.” peter places the back of his hand against your forehead, and you smile as you move your head away. “i’m fine.”
“you just.. haven’t been yourself lately.”
“i’m fine, honestly.”
“do you really think gwen likes me?” peter asks, and your heart falls at the mention of stacy again. “look, y/n, i didn’t tell you because.. i didn’t know if i liked her. but she makes me feel happy, a-and she’s really pretty, and her hair smells really nice in the rmorning-” you don’t tell him that’s exactly how he makes you feel.
“peter.” you say, broken already by hearing repeated mentions of gwen. peter’s voice hushes, and you stop walking as you take his hand. “gwen is lucky to have you in her life. she likes you, i’m sure of it. but what did you think i’d do if i knew?”
“i didn’t want it to ruin our friendship.” it kinda has, you think, but i’m never going to tell you that. you’re never going to tell him that you love him so much you felt visibly sick when you found out. “i think i like her, b-but i’m not sure.”
“whoever you like, i’m always here for you. you need to trust me.” you tell him, as much as it hurts to say, and he impulsively hugs you, catching you off guard. however, your realise this is what you’ve craved. a hug, and someone looking out for you, and embracing you. you’re all too sad when he pulls away. “we’re still best friends, right?”
“forever and ever, lieutenant.” peter says, and you smile softly at the nickname. “you’re the best, y/n/n.” peter adds, just as he checks the time. he begins to walk away from you, swivelling to face you as he walks backwards, and waves excitedly.
it feels like you’ve lost him already.
“DO YOU think you’re ever going to fall in love?”
peter was never one to ask you those type of questions. it caught you by surprise, and you took a few minutes to answer, substituting those minutes with “um..” and “give me a second”.
“yeah.” you said eventually. “there has to be someone.”
“what if you find them.. but you didn’t know it was them at the time?”
“pete, i’m sure you’ll know the person when you see them. love at first sight, y’know?”
“but what if you miss your chance?” peter persisted, and you put down the daisy chain you were making and stared him straight in the eyes.
“you can fall in love again.”
“can you?” you nodded. “with a different person?
“yeah, i reckon.”
“do you think you can fall in love with the wrong people?”
couldn’t, there wouldn’t be so much to be sad about in the world.”
“but if you fall in love with them, doesn’t that make them the right person?”
“well, you could think you’re in love when you’re not. you could just be getting hurt over and over again, right?”
“i guess.” peter sighed, before brushing his hair out of his face. “i hope i fall in love with the right person.”
“i hope i don’t get hurt doing it.”
when you replay that childhood conversation, you tense. because that’s exactly what’s happening to you right now.
SLEEP. EAT. pray for class to end. repeat.
that’s been your motto for the day, as you carelessly shoulder through assignments and exams. and yet all you can think about is him.
his brown curls, those eyes, and that crooked smile that stretches across his face even at the littlest thing. and his hands. his hands make you feel safe, and warm, and everything you shouldn’t be feeling.
the first bad news comes the next afternoon, when you’re walking out of class, calmed by the fact you have a free period and absolutely nothing to do except regain the month-worth of energy that has been sucked out of you in a matter of days.
a hand grabs yours and you immediately come to a halt, shocked, just as your frown falls when you realise it’s peter. his eyes are excited and bright, and you smile, or smile as much as you can when it seems rare to see him, considering the attention he gives to gwen nowadays.
“y/n! i wanted to talk to you earlier but you seemed..” peter pauses, out of breath from running over. “busy.”
“exams. assignments.” you say with a shrug, as peter frowns a little at your downcast expression. “and you’ve been absent lately.” peter flushes, and your fear is confirmed. “gwen?”
peter says nothing, before nodding as he repeats your statement. “well, that’s what i wanted to talk to you about.” he inhales, before smiling. “i really think me and gwen could.. i don’t know, get together.”
it surprises you, but you’re too wiped out for it to show. but it hurts, inside.
“well, that’s great.” is all you say. if peter hears your forlorn tone, he’s too busy gushing about gwen to acknowledge it.
“y-yeah, she complimented me yesterday! and when i was helping her with this super hard question that she got really easily, our hands brushed.”
“your hands brushed?” you repeat, the tactic helpful at this point in time. just say ‘great’ and repeat what he says, you tell yourself, eyes aching as you rub them with concealed misery.
“yeah, and she’s so pretty, y/n- y/n. are you listening?”
“i’m just tired.” you sigh, smiling pityingly at peter with a sad shrug.
“whenever i come near you, you just happen to be tired.”
you say nothing in response, and walk in silence as peter stuffs his hands in his pockets. you don’t know where you’re walking or why, but you walk. after a minute, peter’s footsteps slow to a stop, and you look behind to see his stony gaze and sad eyes.
“you seem different.” peter comments, and you snort disbelievingly.
“i’m heading out to get coffee, and i’m different?” you reply, and peter’s eyes narrow, scanning you somewhat judgmentally. most of all, it feels weird.
“you’ve been moody, and withdrawn, and i- i’m just trying to help.” you soften at his words and internally reprimand yourself for being harsh and snappy. he’s just trying to help, you convince yourself, but that seems questionable considering you’ve hardly seen him.
“it’s not your fault.” you say in a small voice, and the corners of peter’s mouth downturn. “look, do you want to get coffee with me? we can.. talk. catch up.” it’s a lousy effort, but you’re prepared for him to say yes as you dig in your bag for your purse. you look up, realising he hasn’t said anything. “come on.” you smile, only for peter to step back regretfully.
“i’m meeting gwen. i’m sorry, y/n. another time?” it hurts. it hurts when he says it.
there’s so much you want to say, but you clamp your mouth shut and nod, tensing up.
“are you okay?” peter says in a worried voice. are you?
you say what you always say when you’re hurt, and broken, and tired.
“you’re not.” peter says, and you just can’t have this conversation right now.
“well, you’re obviously not going to do anything about it. go to your precious gwen.” you snap, and peter’s eyes harden momentarily. you’ve offended him, and you hold out your hand for a second, but pull it back once peter shakes his head, looking at you like you’re a damn stranger.
he turns on his heel, pain in his eyes, and you turn on yours, but not without a shaky intake of breath.
and once again, peter feels like less and less obtainable. you’re losing him – and you don’t have the life support to get him back.
YOUR FINGERS drum against the coffee cup rhythmically as your gaze is fixed on the scene outside with a curiosity that seems real to those who pass you, but actually a ruse to cover what you’re really thinking about.
that history assignment.
“we have a history assignment?” says a voice, and you realise you said it out loud as you look up with a shocked expression. flash’s face meets yours and you lower your head with a sad, pitying frown. great. just great.
“did- did i say anything else out loud?” you ask, as flash, against your wishes, sits down opposite you with his own coffee. he shrugs, quite obviously bored, and you sigh loudly.
“what’s up with you lately? all moody and draggy and jittery.” your mouth opens at his comment, and you forcefully look outside, ignoring his weird look.
“i’m tired, for god’s sake.” you mumble, crossing your arms and holding them to you tight. “why does everyone keep asking me if i’m okay? i’m okay, flash, i’m okay! seriously, it’s like-”
“wow.” flash says, half-confused, half-surprised.
you stop talking when you realise you’ve been rambling, and pick at the sandwich in front of you, uninterested. if peter were here, he’d take it from your plate and tear off a bit so he could eat it. you miss peter. you also wonder why flash is sitting opposite you, and sit up as you ask him.
“why are you here, eugene?” you say with a scowl, and flash shuffles in his seat.
“i have a free period.” is his response, and you snort. and i’m your latest victim? “and you look lonely as fuck, so i decided to grace you with my presence.”
“i’m not lonely.” you reply with furrowed eyebrows, although your voice has a quiver to it as you say the three words. “so- i don’t know, go away.” flash just laughs.
“peter really has fucked you up, huh? what did penis do this time?”
“p-penis? oh. peni- peter is fine. and we’re fine. no one isn’t fine.”
“sure.” flash says with an arched, amused eyebrow, drawing out the word with sarcasm. “but tell him to stop following gwen around like a puppy. it’s annoying. and i don’t know what she sees in him.” you don’t tell flash how much that information hurts you, and you schedule a sob session mentally for later that day.
“when did you become a consultant in peter’s life?”
“same day he stopped being a good friend to you.”
the statement sounds weird coming from flash, and your eyes meet with a sort of confusion.
“still want me to leave?” flash smiles, and you ignore him. the company’s appreciated. at this point, any company is.
the second bad news comes the morning of the next day, when you bump into gwen on the way to lunch. your eyes widen as you step back, muttering a bunch of incoherent apologies. but she only laughs. her laugh is so pretty and sweet and, damn, you can’t compete.
“it’s okay, don’t worry.” gwen says, clutching her books in one hand with a small smile that matches with peter’s description of it. you say thanks and make a move to go round her, just as she calls your name. “y/n! c-can you wait?”
“sure.” you say, although your heart picks up a few beats warily as you come back to face her. “is this about peter?”
gwen’s eyes widen slowly, and she nods with a somewhat embarrassed grin. “you got me.”
gwen beckons you to a secluded area of the hall as she inhales slowly, and you’re equally worried about what she’s going to say.
“he asked me to be his girlfriend today.”
it’s kinda like a rush of air, but it feels like torture as the words come out of her mouth. you fumble for words – do you congratulate her, or act neutral? what do you do? what lie are you going to tell today?
“y/n.” gwen says, eyes scanning you, scared. “are you okay?” her hand reaches out to pat your back, but you recoil, regaining your breath.
“i’m sorry.” you say, eyes slowly fluttering into focus. “d-did you say yes?”
“that’s the thing. i don’t know whether to.” gwen sighs, eyes going heavenward with a sad little frown. “peter makes me feel happy, and he’s cute and flustered b-but i don’t know. i just don’t have conviction.”
so you’ve been given the chance but you don’t have conviction, whilst i have conviction but haven’t been given the chance? you think, the words swimming through your head. life is such an ass.
“look, gwen, i can’t decide for you.” you say, shrugging, and gwen nods like she expected you to say this.
“i know, y/n, but you’re peter’s best friend. i just thought you could give me context o-or-” context? you’re really not enjoying the conversation as you rack your head for a reply.
“gwen.” you say firmly, and you hate yourself for what you’re about to say. “peter talks about you all the time. you make him feel happy. he likes you – i guess he always has. so go for it. because i know he’ll give you everything and more in this case.”
gwen’s smile grows wider with every word you say, and when you’re done, she grins shakily and squeezes your hand.
“thank you so much.” she says, and you shrug nonchalantly. “almost sounds like it should be you instead of me.” she winks, you freeze, and all is quiet as gwen slips out, integrating with the crowd of students that walk through the corridor.
i wish it was.
"GUYS, I’VE got amazing news.” ned yells as he sits at your table, eyes enlarged with excitement. you fork at the pasta on your plate and look up with weighted dread of what he’s about to say.
“i’ve got better!” peter says even more animatedly, as he takes his usual seat opposite you. he doesn’t hesitate as he spills the news you knew was coming. “gwen stacy is officially my girlfriend.”
betty goes, “wow!”, ned yells, “yes!” whilst mj whispers, “the fuck?” in a pretty admiring way, unusual for your snarky best friend. it’s only you who goes quiet and smiles in the way that seems fake as anything. lately, all your smiles have been fake.
the table erupts into surprised, overlapping talk and it’s only you who remains silent as peter relays the details.
“i asked her this morning and she didn’t really say anything, but a few minutes ago she told me she’d love to be my girlfriend. and then, when i asked her what changed her mind, she said someone had made her realise.”
“that sounds weird, parker.” mj says with a suspicious tone, and you lower your head even further, wanting to merge with the table at this point. you want to be non-existent, and disappear, and just be someone else.
“oh, whatever, she said yes!” betty adds, and the table erupts into more talk.
you want to be gwen.
you want to be able to kiss peter and tell him how cute he is, and wear his jumpers whilst you play with your hair. you want his jaw to drop the way it does when he sees gwen, and for him to brag about you to everyone he meets. you want to be able to tell flash that peter and you are fine, dating even; you want peter. you love peter.
he just doesn’t love you back.
considering the last few days, you don’t even know if you guys are friends.
you look up slightly, feeling someone’s eyes on you, and frown as you accustom to peter’s narrowed eyes. he looks away once you meet his own, just as flash walks by your table.
“congratulations, penis.” flash says with no hint of actual congratulations, although he sounds slightly impressed. “toomes really must have felt sorry for your ass to have got with you.”
“sure, flash.” peter says with a barely-bothered tone. gwen stacy is his girlfriend. why should he be bothered?
you think that’s the end of the conversation, and then flash turns to you suddenly. you almost choke when he says your name, and you look warily to face him.
“y/n. i ‘m heading to physics. you coming?”
you’re surprised to say the least. this is out of character, but also quite in character for thompson. nevertheless, he looks bored, and he doesn’t seem to care, but he also seems to understand you want to get away from the table.
“u-um-” the table’s watching you with interest, and you feel peter’s eyes on you even further. there’s something different, though. some spark of anger or hatred, or dislike. you know he hates flash. but- but this? this is different. it makes you want to leave the table even more. but you need a reason, or else everyone’s going to keep asking you if you like flash or something shitty like that. so you lie. “oh yeah! i need to give you notes, right?” you say to flash, eyes widened as a sign for him to play along.
he takes the hint, or at least you think he does, as he shrugs and nods in one movement.
“sure. i’m not the nerd.” flash says lamely, beginning to walk towards the exit. “you are. hurry up, y/l/n!” he jogs out of the room, and you stand up, packing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder.
“bye.” you say to the table, and everyone, visibly calmed by realising it’s a matter of notes and not you wanting to ditch them, says the same thing back. everyone except peter, who stands up just as you do.
“y/n.” he says, and you feel worry pit in your chest. “what the hell is up with you?”
you’re stunned by the outrightness of the question. no sugarcoating there.
“w- what do you mean?” you reply with hesitance. mj and ned have stopped arguing. betty’s fork is mid-air. they’re looking at the two of you, and you don’t like the attention.
“you’ve been moody, withdrawn, snappy and now you’re hanging out with flash thompson?” you don’t say anything, so peter continues. “i don’t get why. you don’t talk to me, you avoid me – heck, when have i seen you for ten minutes or more?”
“i have my reasons, peter.” you say in a controlled tone, although inside, you feel like breaking. “so leave it alone.”
“what reasons? what-fucking-reasons?” peter yells, distressed. it dawns on you that you’ve both been hurting. but right now, that’s not what’s most important. you gasp at the language, and then regain yourself.
you will not cry.
you will not cry.
you will. not. cry.
but right now, with almost everyone staring at you, you kinda want to cry.
“how would you know? it’s like i’m invisible, or not important to you anymore!” you shout back, and peter reels at your harsh, sudden words. “leave me the fuck alone, peter, and don’t you dare try and attack me when y-you’re the one who doesn’t even want to see me anymore.”
you’re losing peter. it’s like his heartbeat’s just slowly fading away. you used to be so synced.. and now? for what? over a girl?
“so that’s what you want, y/n?” peter whispers, clearly cracked. “after everything?”
“what even is everything, peter? flash has been a better friend than you have. and i;m not even friends with that douche!”
“well, you two seem to be cosy nowadays.” his words infuriate you, to be honest.
“so you can notice that, but not that my parents have been at odds? that my eyes have been red, puffy and tear-streaked? that i miss you?” peter has nothing to say in response, and that suits you. “have fun with gwen, pete. but she doesn’t deserve a terrible, lowlife boyfriend like you.”
“that’s what you think, then?” peter’s words are quiet and despondent, and you can’t bear to hear them. “you really changed y/n.”
“well, luckily for you, you won’t be there to see me change again.”
as you say it, there’s the final rush of air that fills your eyes with tears and makes you clench your fists in order to keep it in.
years of friendship gone. and over what?
but it feels like more than that. it feels like the culmination of petty looks, and fights, and not being given what you need.
it’s liking someone who doesn’t like you back,
fuck it. fuck it all.
taglist - @charnease
moots - thank you so much for supporting me, and being there for me, whether it was by making me laugh or simply just brightening up my day <3 it did a lot more than you guys probably think <3
@felicityparkers @bi-lmg @kickingn-ames @hollandcrush @veryholland @lovelybarnes @evermoreholland @heavenlyholland @hermayone @sunsetholland @parkers-gal @spideysquackson13 @cherrytholland @londonspidey @kelieah @ptersmj @duskholland @s-and-n @blissfulparker @waitimcomingtoo @miseryholland @leafy-holland @spideyspeaches
part two is currently with @cherrytholland, and i will link it here when it’s done!
if you’d like to be tagged in part 2, lmk !!
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Warnings; angst, smut and SMUT, unprotected sex.
Summary; You didn't like Peter, and you liked to humiliate him every time you had a chance to do so.
Authors note; this is the first time i do smut so pls tell me if its good so i can keep doing it ✨
• PETER PARKER X MALE!STARK!READER.
Temperaments heated up every time your father insisted that you train alongside Peter. You didn't hate Peter, but you didn't like him either. You even thought that he was a bit annoying and spoiled. You just felt annoyed with the presence of him near you. Typical Starks temperament.
Peter was not far behind, he knew that he was not to your liking at all, but Parker just did not seem to understand why. He didn't know anything about you, the only thing he knew was what anyone knew about the starks, a reputation for big parties that Tony seemed to have left once you and Morgan were born. But you followed the legacy of parties until you ended up with someone different under your sheets every night.
"Okay guys take a break but not to long." Tony pointed a finger as the sweat fell from their foreheads. “Jarvis monitors everything so if you spend more than the exact time i will know.
"As if that matters." You mumbled, heading towards the locker room that the Avengers base had.
"I heard that (Y/n)" Tony answered raising his voice watching you walk away. You turned around still walking backwards.
"Good, because I wanted you to know."
You wet your hands removing the sweat to wash your face, both would return to combat but you prefer to feel fresh and relaxed for minutes. When you looked up in the mirror reflection you saw Peter standing looking at you directly, he probably was going to do the same as you to wash some parts, but he was standing there looking at you seriously.
You had no problem challenging Tony, much less Peter.
"What do you want Parker." You turned around, leaning your hands on the sink, giving him that stupid little smile that you knew bothered him about you.
"Why do you hate me so much (Y/n)? Or Tony, are you always rude to people who try to be nice to you? "
"What the hell is your problem man?" You said indignantly crossing your arms, highlighting a little your muscles that Peter secretly lowered his gaze towards them. “My father and I is none of your business, or should I call you stepbrother now? I don't even know you and BELIEVE ME, I have no intention of doing so. Mind your own business, will you?
"What else could I expect from someone who wakes up with a different person every morning, because a mature attitude I don't think so." Peter challenged leaving you speechless, you were the one doing that, not him. “I have heard the rumors and stories of the incredible (y/n) stark and his magnificent reputation. But what if he's just an alter ego? And that you pretend to be the tough guy and not show that soft part of… .—
Peter couldn't finish as soon his spider sense warned him too late that danger was approaching. You pushed the boy on his shoulders causing him to bump his back against the metal lockers.
"And what about you Peter Parker." You started out with bitterness. It was your turn, Peter didn't know where he had gotten that guts, you always seemed to have them. “The classic loser who gets teased at school trying to get noticed by the girl he's in love with? C´mon Peter, you are nothing, the only thing that makes you special and why people would see you is because you are Spiderman. What else would make you special? Be a good kisser? A good boyfriend? You don't have any of that because you are alone. You are a lonely virgin.
Right on the guts. You knew it because Peter didn't bother to answer your push, he just stared at you with a combination of feelings, anger, sadness.
"Screw you man." Peter muttered pushing you with his shoulder before walking out of there.
You couldn't feel bad for him, you enjoyed the pain you caused to people you didn't like. You followed in his footsteps and when he had already left the room you heard your father's voice in the microphone of the communicator that was on the wall.
"Where´s he going? You have training. "
"He's a Nerd dad, He probably go back to his room to read a comic or something." You responded by pressing the button. “Now I'm going to do what I do best.
You caught the shot glass between your teeth and lifted your head letting the bitter drink enter your throat in a single movement. The others started clapping and praising you like you were a party god. You threw the glass on the floor, breaking it, wiping your lips with the sleeve of your expensive shirt.
"Well? Does anyone want to challenge the leader of the parties or are you all a couple of chickens?"
You said flaunting yourself as the thrusters slowly brought you down from the air.
"I'll do it."
The metal boots hit the ground, your gaze focused on Peter and his new look that hardly made you think he was the same Peter you had humiliated at the base of the avengers. His hair pulled back, black pants, and a stylish short-sleeved shirt. The stark scholarship left money.
"Penis Parker." You said mockingly, the alcohol was starting to rise between your veins. "This is going to be interesting. Come on come up here baby. JARVIS! Serve another round.
The round of drinks increased more and more, neither of you took their eyes off the other. Neither wanted to lose to the other. Peter didn't seem to show any signs of dizziness or being drunk, and you knew why, his blood and spider abilities gave him certain advantages that you didn't have. You could already feel a minor headache.
"St..op.." You said stamping your glass on the bar when Peter was about to finish the drink. "I'm going to ... find--... another bottle.
"Sure Stark, take your time." A random boy replied patting your shoulder.
You went through the people leaving everything behind and climbed the stairs escaping from the embarrassing scene that you were going to happen if you didn't get out of there fast. With one hand on your stomach feeling dizzy you entered the closest room closing the door looking for the closest piece of furniture and contain your urge to vomit, you had to go back, Parker would not ruin your reputation.
"Looks like the legend himself (Y/n) Stark can only hold 10 drinks."
Peter entered the room putting the lock to make fun of you seeing you with your eyes closed barely catching your breath.
"If you want to vomit there is a bathroom, I can hold your hair while you are on your knees."
"Fuck off." You responded to his sarcasm. "Was it necessary to be bitten by another spider for you to bring out this manly behavior?
"Only when someone challenge me." Peter crossed his arms, that's when you realized that his school sweater hid some marked arms. You only raised an eyebrow. "And I came to prove to you how wrong you were in what you said, I wanted to enjoy that you recognized that you were wrong but I think that will not happen, right?
"In what part?"
The two were close enough now, Peter was enjoying it. Peter rubbed his half-open mouth with his lips with yours kissing them in a matter of seconds when you turned your head to the side laughing with your eyes closed. You could swear Peter's fingers were already resting delicately on your waist to draw you closer to him.
"Now are you just trying to seduce me? Please try something better and not when I just had a drinking battle with you."
"Which I won and you can't admit."
"Because of your blood type."
You could feel the heat burning inside you when Peter kissed you again. You didn't even know if it was because of the alcohol or because of the sensation that he made you feel. Sensation that you wasn't going to admit that it felt good for someone who was sexually active like you.
The kiss was more and more attempt when Peter's hands were in your hair pulling it towards him with a few force and your hands were on his cheeks squeezing them while their mouths combined into one and your tongues soon found the other and make the kiss wetter than it already was. The pleasure made the surrounding weather turn hotter, Peter pulled your hair back allowing the apple of your throat to be marked and he began to kiss it along with each part of your neck.
Both soon stumbled onto the bed where you desperately sought to get rid of each other's clothes, almost tearing them up to get under the sheets. The erections soon brushed making your lips part and you glanced down with a surprised sigh as both caught your breath with slightly swollen lips.
"I thought that being your room it would be a kind of room with games or something like that."
"How many adult movies have you seen?" You asked dumbfounded, Peter turned out to be the sassy guy.
"Well when we were in Germany and I met your father I ...---"
"Peter I really don't want to know, it was sarcasm." You interrupted before he continued. "And it's not my house so I don't have my things." Peter raised both eyebrows. "What?
"You don't plan on stopping do you?"
"Do you want me to continue?"
Peter got up a bit to place a soft kiss this time on the corner of your lips.
"Okay... uhhmm.... open up."
You said taking your fingers to the mouth of Peter who opened catching them. His gaze was on your hand. His tongue moved between them, internally you bit your lip so as not to moan at the sensation and image you were seeing.
"It's enough." You mumbled after a few seconds. Peter opened his mouth and you pulled your fingers from his red lips. "Do you want to continue?
"Will you take away the honor of being with a Stark?"
You giggled in denial, with your other hand you slid down his entire left leg until he raised them to your waist and had a position. Your free hand took his member massaging it giving him a little pleasure and excitement when Peter closed his eyes leaving his mouth open, if anyone knew how to make someone feel good, it was you.
While you distracted Peter, you continued to set him up. Your fingers sought the entrance where you slowly inserted a finger to which Peter responded with a groan, the first you had heard since he entered the room. You moved it slowly and when you thought it was right, you put the second finger.
"Uh..hh ... this is ... new ..."
You smiled when you heard him trying to speak properly and not moaning. You took your fingers out after being inside it for a while and took your member licking you lip. You got him into position and to push yourself in slowly and carefully, you came face to face with Peter.
"Peter shut up." You said in a whisper rubbing your nose with his. "Does it hurt? Tell me how it feels so I can ...
"It feels perfect (Y/n)." Peter opened his eyes to meet yours. For the first time, you felt good about him. "You can...uhhmm... move.
You nodded, hiding your face in his neck, biting it and leaving marks on the points that you knew the human body was weak, you proceeded to bite the lobe of his ear while Parker sank his fingers into your bare back with one hand and with the other he pulled strands of your hair. . It was not difficult to know that taking your hair was Peter's fetish.
At first your movements were slow, you didn't want to hurt him and go fast. Slow was the way the pleasure was distributed, demonstrating it in the kisses both had while you did it. Within minutes you decided to try and go faster trying not to make noise from your skin hitting Peter's.
When you were about to reach your point, the veins were marked in your calves. You got out of Peter and you reached out to your member and started to pull it.
"Wait ..." Peter sat on the bed stopping you after straightening his hair. You let go of your hands and Peter started doing what you were doing.
Your hands were now the ones moving Peter's hair. Peter's hand moved quickly, it didn't take him long to reach your climax and release everything on his abdomen to what Peter looked at for a few seconds when he stopped.
Your heavy breathing made your sweaty chest rise and fall. Peter ran a hand over his abdomen with a surprised smirk.
"Wow. Did I really provoke this to you?"
"Don't flatter yourself, it's natural body reactions." You corrected and Peter wiped his hand with his leg taking your waist turning you now staying on top of you.
"Come on (Y/n), it's not that hard to admit some things from time to time. I want to hear it."
You remained silent, but not because of that, but because you were experiencing the sensation of your being the one that was down for the first time.
"Then I guess I'll make you say it." Peter murmured into your lips, running his fingers between them and repeating the same thing you had done with him. "God this feels so good.
You put your legs behind him arching your toes as well as your back. As soon as you felt Peter inside you, he made slow movements in and out as he bent down to kiss and bite your nipples.
Your eyes went wide than normal as you stroked his hair gently. Peter paused with his mouth still on your left nipple. You stopped your caress feeling the heat in your lower waist, inside you.
"Peter? Did you ... uhmmm ... cum already?"
Peter let go of your nipple looking at you embarrassedly with his cheeks redder than a tomato as he realized that he hadn't lasted at all as soon as he entered you. Peter came out of you slowly draining a bit of what he had released into you.
"They are reactions of the body, aren't they?" Peter mumbled sadly lying next to you where they both covered their bodies.
Peter brought both hands to his face, you turned to see him even with the awkward silence between you.
"Hey it's fine, actually.... aggg I'm going to kill you if you say this to someone." You said shaking your head, Peter slid his hands from his face turning his body towards you. "You're the first time I've ever had someone ... you know ... on top of me doing that.
"Uuuhhh, I feel, flattered I guess." One hand was under your neck and the other rested on your abdomen. Which Peter looked at in detail. "You are my first person.
You were quiet for a few seconds.
"I shouldn't have made that stupid joke that you were a lonely virgin." You spoke with regret in your soft tone. "But I enjoyed it .... and you on top of me too.
"Do you want to go out tomorrow? Like we're starting over."
"That sounds good."
"So I'll see you tomorrow at 8:00 at dellmars. The best sandwiches in Queens." Peter said cheerfully as he searched the floor for his pants. "We should do this more frequently.
"Fight or have sex?" You raised an eyebrow.
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Pairing: Boyfriend!Tom Holland x reader
Summary: Even though Tom tells you that he loves you all the time, he has several other ways to show you that he loves you. (Really just Tom being a very loving, caring boyfriend)
Warnings/tags: mention of the pandemic, mention of a surgery, pure fluff, boyfriend!Tom
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: This photo is the whole reason that this fanfic now exists because Tom is giving off strong boyfriend vibes, enjoy🥺
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You stared out of the huge window as you stood in the cold kitchen, swirling the spoon in the cup as your pretty little boyfriend, Tom, walked in the kitchen.
“Baby” he said, “I woke up alone” he complained.
You looked back at him to answer, “I had to use the washroom and then I couldn’t fall asleep so I just woke up”
Tom nodded as he walked to where you were standing and wrapped his arms around your waist.
“Why are you swirling the spoon in your milk?”
You let out a soft giggle, “I’m mixing sugar in my milk”
“Oh,” he frowned his eyebrows as he rested his chin on your shoulder, “don’t have too much sugar”
You walked to the kitchen sink to keep the spoon down as you turned around to take a look at Tom, “I’m 23”
“Sugar can affect anyone” he shrugged his shoulders as he opened the refrigerator to take out the ingredients to make pancakes.
“Touché” you said, sitting down on the kitchen counter.
“Did you take your vitamins?” Tom asked, raising his eyebrows at you.
“I forgot” you said and before Tom could scold you, you quickly said, “I’ll take them right now”
You scurried across the kitchen to open the small cupboard to take out your vitamins and gulped them down with the milk.
“I don’t mind reminding you to take them but what if I’m not here some day” Tom shook his head as he waited for you to answer.
“What do you mean by if you’re not here some day?” You stared at him stunned.
“No, no, I don’t mean it like that!” Tom hurried to you as he almost laughed, “I didn’t mean I won’t be here like that, I meant what if I’m at work”
“Yeah, like that,” Tom chuckled.
“You scared me” you frowned, gently hitting his shoulder.
“I worry about your health” Tom whispered as he gave you a small peck, “so don’t forget to take your vitamins, please”
“I promise, I won’t” you mumbled against his lips.
Tom taking care of your health and keeping a check on if you’re taking your vitamins is his way of showing you that he loves you.
Even though you consider yourself a huge introvert, the lockdown was kind of killing you. It has been a whole year in this lockdown and it was finally getting to you. The tragedies that were happening around the world because of the pandemic was breaking your heart and you thanked the heavens for keeping you and your family safe every time you watched the news.
Tom and you both had work from home now and even though you were thankful for being in the comfort of your home, the chair in your home office was starting to kill you and you desperately wanted to leave the house, even if it was just for a little while.
As you sat in your home office, typing away on your laptop, you huffed. It was so late and you were so tired, your back was killing you and you were pretty sure that your lip was bleeding by now because of biting on it too much.
You heard a knock on the door and then it was slowly pushed open, revealing Tom. He peeked inside of the room, his eyes landing on you as his lips stretched in a small smile.
“Can I come in?” He whispered.
“Yeah” you softly said, you twisted on your chair to face Tom as he approached you with a tea cup.
“I got you tea” he said, carefully putting down the cup on your table so as to not spill any liquid on your work stuff.
Your heart melted as you stared at his tired face. He bent down to give you a quick peck but you cupped his face in your hands before he could pull away. You gave him a chaste kiss, moving to his cheeks, you littered small kisses on his cheekbones.
“You just had a meeting, right?” You asked.
“Yes, I did” Tom nodded, his hands coming up to your shoulders to massage them.
“And instead of relaxing after it, you made me tea?”
Tom smiled against your lips, “I know you’ve been tired, just wanted to take care of ya”
You smiled as you pulled him down further, he was half sitting on your chair now, “if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to leave,” Tom laughed.
“I love you, thank you” you said as you nudged your nose to his, he softly giggled.
“Anything for you, I’ll do anything for you” Tom said sincerely.
You bit your lips as you stared at him lovingly, “stop biting your lip and come to bed when you get over with work” Tom said as he softly pulled at your bottom lip with his thumb.
“I’ll be waiting for you” he said as he got up, slipping out of the room and shutting the door behind.
Tom making you tea even though he’s just as tired as you is his way of showing you that he loves you.
“Hi baby” Tom gushed when you slipped under the covers.
“Hi” you whispered, laying down on the bed and opening your arms for Tom.
He moved closer to you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and softly kissing your neck.
“You smell good” you hummed, your face pressed to his soft brown curls.
“I used your shampoo today” he whipped his face up to look into your eyes.
“And also my conditioner,” you said, taking another sniff of his hair.
Tom laughed as he agreed with you. He pressed his face into your chest as his hand snaked under your camisole.
“Tom” you muttered, pulling at his arm to stop him.
You had a kidney stone surgery months ago and that surgery left a pretty big scar on the side of your stomach. Even though it’s been 5 months to it, you still didn’t like how it scarred your body and Tom knew that very well.
You didn’t change your clothes with the lights on anymore and sometimes you wouldn’t even take off your night dress when Tom made love to you.
“What?” Tom huffed.
“Don’t do that” you said as you pulled down your camisole.
“Y/N, I told you, the scar is nothing to be worried about” Tom pulled his body up as he looked up at you.
“It’s ugly” you whispered.
“It’s not-” Tom sat up straight as he held your hand in his huge ones.
“Listen to me, you struggled with something and fought it, the scar shows that you’re brave. You were so strong to go through a wholeass surgery and you didn’t even cry, not even once”
You smiled as you heard Tom ramble, he went on, “hell, do you know I was crying in the waiting room and Harry was laughing at me. He said that if I’m crying about a normal surgery then I’d probably pass out when we’ll have a baby”
“We’ll have a baby?” You asked with your hand on your heart, he was just so cute.
“What- I mean- yeah in the future” you raised your eyebrows at him and Tom’s cheeks flushed red, “but that’s not the point, the point is that-”
Tom sighed as he lifted your camisole and you let him, he gently traced your scar as he bent down to give your scar a soft kiss.
“This scar isn’t ugly, it’s beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful” he praised.
“Okay, please stop” you said as you covered your face with your hands, “I’m gonna start crying”
Tom laughed as he moved up to your face and pressed a kiss to your lips. You hummed in the kiss, content with how the conversation ended up.
Tom kissing your scar and telling you how beautiful you are is his way of showing you that he loves you.
Tom always had this strong urge to cuddle you in the middle of his sleep so even when he would be in a deep slumber, he would always always always want to hold you as you both slept.
And that was what he was trying to do right now, he switched from his left side to his right side and stretched out his arm to find your body to grab and pull in.
But as he mindlessly felt your side of the bed with his hand, your body was nowhere to be found. He barely opened his eyes to peek, only to see your body almost hanging off at the side of the bed.
You must have moved on the further right side and now you were close to falling off the bed. As Tom realised that you were going to fall, he quickly sat up and scooped your body in his strong arms, pulling you away from the side of the bed.
“Tom” you mumbled in your sleep.
“You were gonna fall off the bed, baby” he mumbled back as he settled you in the middle of the bed.
He pulled the covers over both of your bodies as he wrapped his arms around you to cuddle.
You gently smiled in your half asleep state, “oh”
Tom sighed in happiness as he kissed your shoulder, his body relaxing as sleep took over him again.
Tom saving you from falling off the bed and on your ass in the middle of the night is his way of showing you that he loves you.
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