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still-not-over-transformers · 8 months

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hey i saw that ur requests r open!!:)

i was wondering if u could write a general rotb mirage x fem (or gn ur choice!) human reader fluff oneshot? reader could be a lil antisocial n mirage is the only one that can help her feel better after a long day around people from work/school. i see a lot more mirage nsfw then fluff n i could use the comfort </3

Apologies for the delay, but finally finished your request. I hope it brings you the comfort I'm sure you both need and deserve <3

The Perfect Pick-me-up

ROTB Mirage x Female Human Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1500+

It had been an exhausting day for (Y/N). You had started your day by waking up at 5am, before heading to college to begin 8 hours of listening to lectures, taking notes, and struggling to find the will to live through this day. Despite multiple cups of coffee, you were absolutely drained of energy. The only thing that gave you the drive to push through was knowing you had a rendezvous with a certain Porsche that evening. Mirage had enough energy for the two of you, and it was hard to believe that he never seemed to get tired. The two of you had met a few months back...

*Flashback*

You had been walking home from an internet cafe a few blocks from your apartment, drained after working tirelessly on an essay. In your exhausted haze, you failed to notice a shifty stranger step out from the shadows, grabbing you by your shoulders and pressing a knife to your throat. Before the man could say or do anything else, the sound of engine-revving and tire-squealing pierced the night air.

A silver and blue Porsche Carrera barreled down the street towards you and your assailant. At first it seemed as if the car would plow right through you, but instead it screeched to a halt and transformed into a tall blue robot. “Hey! Hands off the lady!” Mirage quickly approached you, causing the would-be mugger to run for the hills. “Yeah! That’s what I thought, tough guy!” Mirage glared in the direction of the mugger before turning his attention towards you, “You okay, sweetcheeks? That slimy jerk didn’t hurt ya, did he?” Mirage looked you over briefly with his vibrant blue optics, checking for any obvious injuries. “Well you look alright to me. Name’s Mirage by the way.” He flashed a cheeky grin and posed. “Oh um… my name’s (Y/N),” you stammered. “(Y/N)! That’s a great name. Suits you too.” He winked at you, “You uh… need a ride home? My treat.”

*Back to Today*

Despite your exhaustion, you found the energy to make the trek back towards your home. You took the bus to your favorite internet cafe, the same one you had been walking back from the day you first met Mirage. You waited inside the cafe for a short while before hearing the familiar sounds of an engine revving and a series of horn honks. Exiting the building, you walked towards Mirage as he pulled up to the curb. The driver’s side door popped open, “Your chariot awaits, milady.” Mirage had a smug tone in his voice, clearly pleased with himself. You rolled your eyes before climbing inside the driver’s cab, the door closing behind you. Mirage started his engine before peeling out of the spot and heading onto the streets.

“So how was school? Did you crush your statistics exam? Maybe cheated off someone else’s work? HA! Just kidding, I know you aced it on your own.” Mirage asked energetically, his mouth running a mile a minute. Don’t get it wrong, you enjoyed Mirage’s presence and enthusiasm, but you didn’t say much as you were simply burnt out from the day and weren’t feeling particularly chatty. After driving for a while, Mirage noticed how quiet you were and slowly pulled over on a quiet side street. “Hey (Y/N), are you feeling okay? I’m sorry if I kinda talked your ears off.” His voice was soft and full of concern. You paused and tried to shake any concern Mirage had, “Oh, no I’m fine. Sorry… I’m just a bit worn out from today.”

Mirage had known you for a long time now, and even he knew when it was time to shut up and focus on your needs. “Heyyy don’t be sorry, (Y/N), you’ve had a hard day” the Autobot paused before an idea flashed through his mind, “I think I know the perfect pick-me-up.” Mirage restarted his engine and began driving. You weren’t quite sure what he had up his sleeve, but you knew Mirage always had the best intentions. The drive was quiet, Mirage merging onto the highway and driving towards a secluded area near the edge of the harbor.

The sun was beginning to set over the water as Mirage came to a stop and parked. “Mirage, why did you bring me here?’ You asked, tired but still curious as to the Autobot’s intentions. “(Y/N), I know when you’ve had a stressful day. And I just wanted to take you somewhere nice and ya know… maybe just have a moment to ourselves,” Mirage spoke softly before opening the driver’s side door to allow you to exit. After you exited Mirage’s cab, he transformed into his Cybertronian form and slowly knelt in front of you, his bright blue optics leveling with yours. “You know I’m always down to listen to you, right? I know I may come off as 1.5 tons of sexy muscle, but I’ve got a soft spark too” he flashed a quick wink at you before noticing your body language, and reeled in the charismatic charm. Mirage sighed before turning his face away in embarrassment, “Sorry, (Y/N).” The Autobot shifts his frame to sit beside you, both of you facing the harbor and the view of the sun slowly sinking towards the water.

You had wondered why Mirage had brought you to this location, hypothesizing it was probably the seclusion, being an area he could comfortably transform and not worry about being spotted by other humans. “It’s okay, Mirage. I can tell you’re just trying to cheer me up” you said with a tired but kind tone, “It’s just been a day and I’m burnt out” You sat on a patch of nearby grass and pulled your legs to your chest, looking down into nothingness. You were surprised at the sudden gentle touch of Mirage’s servo on your shoulder. Before you could turn to look at him, you felt yourself lifted slowly into the air, before finding yourself pulled against Mirage’s chest in a hug.

Mirage’s arms cradled your small human body in his, drinking in your warmth against his metal chassis, “Sorry if I’m overstepping but I can tell you need this.” There were so many thoughts and emotions going through Mirage’s mind at that moment. He was overjoyed to have you all to himself and so close to him, but also had a pit in his gut that you would reject his attempts to comfort you. Primus, it would be so much easier if he could just punch whatever was making you feel so down. Mirage knew a lot about human pop culture and music, but the complicated social life and emotional tolls of everyday human life were a little harder for him to understand. He knew you didn’t have many friends and preferred to keep to yourself. It boosted Mirage’s ego to know that he was your closest friend, and both of you trusted each other completely.

All of the Autobot’s thoughts ceased as he felt you press your cheek against his chassis, his optics growing wide as he looked down at you. “Thanks Mirage,” you spoke softly as you looked up into his optics. “It’s been a hard week. Midterms have been kicking my ass and I can’t stand this one group project. It’s just… not my thing, you know?” Mirage gently rubbed your back with one of his digits, “Hey, I get it. I’m not the best at working in a team either, as I tend to steal the spotlight.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle as Mirage’s had that charming, shit-eating grin on his face. “Why did you take us here anyway? Not that I’m complaining,” you asked, your eyebrow lifting inquisitively. Mirage slowly sat up, taking care to support you, holding you in one of his servos before setting you on his shoulder. The view before you was of the New York Harbor, the glow of the sunset reflecting off the water’s surface. The sky looked aflame with gradient tones of gold, orange, and deep crimson, and the colors shone through the tall outline of the city skyscrapers.

“Honestly, I was driving through this area by mistake and then I saw this view… It was so stunning and vibrant and warm… and it reminded me of you.” Mirage’s expression was soft and kind of vulnerable, something not often observed of the usually confident Autobot mech. Mirage felt a surge of embarrassment and couldn’t meet your gaze, “Sorry, that must’ve sounded so cheesy…” The young mech froze when he felt you lean against him, settling your head in the crook of his neck. “No, it was cute” you said softly, a content smile playing on your lips. Mirage’s expression softened and a smile crept back to his face, “Well then, I’ll try to come up with more cheesy compliments from here on out.”

The two of you sat there watching the glow of the sunset as time went by. Few words were said after this point, but they weren’t needed. Just sharing each other’s company spoke volumes…

*End*

Again, so sorry for the delay. I truly hope this brings you comfort and joy. :)

#transformers #transformers rotb #mirage transformers #mirage #miragerotb #tf rotb #rotb mirage #rise of the beasts #transformers x reader insert #transformers x reader

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nightcrawlerzincorporated · 1 year

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i hate times up me and all my homies hate times up

also gonna throw the janitor always mops twice in here cuz i wanna hear u talk abt it. disappointment central right there

Oh boy. Disagree. I like BOTH those episodes. Sorry, I know you wanted hate but I can only give love.

I will explain myself.

Times Up: I actually in my drafts have a huge essay about Times Up half finished that I hope to finish some day soon because I have so many thoughts about it but for this post I will try and keep it brief. Key word being TRY as I could talk for days about Times Up haha.

I get a lot of people hate it for shipping reasons but if you take a step back from that it's a really good episode about sexual assault imo. (tw for discussions about fictional sexual assault and how the episode comments on real assault ahead)

The fact that the episode takes place in a sexual assault seminar about workplace sexual harassment highlights the fact that the gang are all coworkers, reminding the audience that that adds a specific dynamic to the ways the gang treat one another, even as lifelong friends. Now, I will talk about the shipping more in that essay I'm writing, but for now I want to talk about the episode outside of that. Each character represents a different version of sexual harassment/assault.

Mac is careless, doing things like lifting Dee into the air by her crotch or trying to kiss Dennis not because he wants to harm either of them, but because he does things without thinking a lot of the time and is very impulsive (which is very in character for him imo!). But regardless of his motivation, those two things are still both sexual harassment.

Charlie thinks he stalked (is it actually canon that he stopped stalking her after they slept together or does he still do it? that was always unclear to me) The Waitress as a sign of love, as a lot of stalkers do. Again, something that's been very consistent with his character. But just like with Mac, his motivation doesn't matter, his actions do.

Frank is of course our stereotypical Quid Pro Quo case, more obviously in your face about the way he harmed women who worked under him at his old company. I get why some wouldn't find the way they use that for comic relief funny, but I personally like the way they handle it--there's never a doubt in anyone's mind that Frank hurt those women, and the joke is always on Frank finally feeling the heat he deserves for what he did to them and not on the victims. It doesn't matter that that was "what the times were like back that", Frank deserves to at the very least feel shitty for what he did. His part also highlights exactly why some states want to get rid of statute of limitation laws--which yeah! They should get rid of them! Because of the exact reason the episode shows--just because it happened years ago doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Dee spends the whole episode on her high horse because she sees the issue as a women vs men issue (as a lot of people do!) and doesn't think that she could ever possibly be persecuted since she's a woman. But that doesn't matter--she's still canonically assaulted multiple men! And I know some people don't like that they had it be that she raped Charlie specifically but I think it was a good writing decision. Here me out. The vast majority of rape is perpetrated by family members or close friends, because those are most often the people who are close enough to us to cause that kind of harm and manipulate victims into staying quiet. The reveal that Dee raped Charlie is another hard hitting point the episode is making about SA--that you can be friends with someone, even have romantic chemistry with them, but that doesn't excuse raping them. Even if, as in Dee's case, she didn't really think about what she was doing or conceptualize it as rape until it was pointed out to her. The point is that none of the characters THINK they are perpetrators, that they all have reasons and excuses that justify the things they do (just like real life perpetrators always have some sort of internal reason justifying their actions), but that doesn't change the facts of what they did. If the fact that all the characters are perpetrators to some degree makes you comfortable--good! It should! It's trying to challenge perceptions about assault, challenge the idea of what a victim looks like, what a perpetrator looks like, how the same person can be both a victim and a perpetrator, and to show how normalized assault is in the gang's lives and in society in general.

Now, savvy readers may have noticed I haven't mentioned Dennis yet. And that's because I think a lot of people misunderstand the way Dennis is being used in this episode, so I wanted to lay the groundwork for his section first. A lot of people dislike that Dennis is the one to point out the flaws of the others and the fact that Dennis is the one who set up the seminar when he's the worst of them all but--that's kind of the point. Dennis commits serial sexual assault and is able to get away with it because he cloaks himself in the progressive language of the MeToo movement and falsifies evidence. Dennis is the most dangerous of all because unlike the others, he DOES understand consent, he is FULLY AWARE that what he's doing is assault and therefor knows exactly what he needs to do to legally hide it. Dennis is NOT supposed to be in the right here. Like the audience surrogates (the people hired to teach the seminar), we are supposed to think Dennis is an idiot and kind of terrifying, not agree with everything he says just because he knows which words to use.

A lot of people call this episode "wildly out of character" but I don't understand that at all--it follows up on things which have been previously established with each character. The whole point is that the world is changing, they can't keep treating people and each other the way they do and keep expecting to get away with it. Even for someone like Dennis who has a whole system of manipulation and all these practiced ways not to get caught Time. Is. UP! The point is that, while Dennis may be better at getting away with shit than the others, that doesn't mean he's safe and that's a good thing. It feels very hopeful to me. And yeah I think it's funny. I know that's very subjective so I don't really know how to explain beyond "it makes me hahaha".

Mops Twice: I'm not sure why this episode would be considered "disappointing" (I'd love to know why you describe it that way!) because I think it's super fun. I love the references to the way old films were edited and shot, I love the whole grey-scale with red thing the episode has going on--it gives it a very unique flavor. I love the costumes, I love the way Charlie's narration is written like he's a detective in an old serial. I love the twist that The Waitress is running things and poisoning people It's so girlboss of her and one of the most fun things they've done with her character imo. I know people don't like that The Waitress is flirty with Charlie, but that's because the episode is from Charlie's perspective, it's how he interprets their probably not at all actually flirty interactions. Plus this episode is just really funny to me. My wife and I quote "bleach, the universal poison antidote" at each other all the time. I love Charlie focused episodes and this is no exception. And I love when they do new and more out there things like this too. I think it's part of what gives the series it's personality and I love it.

#least favorite sunny ep opinions #coralereef #ask #times up for the gang #the janitor always mops twice

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mxmollusca · 2 years

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How not to queerbait in zero easy steps: SPN, OFMD, and my angry gay ass

If you are at all acquainted with the SPN fandom, you're probably aware of the absolute dumptruck full of clown shoes that destiel shippers, myself included, have found themselves buried in since the show ended. SPN has played an important role in my life for many reasons, and I (like the countless other queers that kept the show relevant for as long as it was) just wanted to see our Gay Angel Mascot find a happy ending, one that is sadly frequently elusive for members of the queer community.

What we got was so much worse than I could have imagined. There is no string theory universe in which the writers and showrunners didn't know the damage they were causing, specifically because the discourse surrounding it was so intense. The queerbaiting was rampant, for YEARS, and culminated in the gay lead being fridged, sent to turbohell for his admission of queerness, and then just not mentioned again for the rest of the show. It's not just queerbaiting, it's erasure. I literally could not finish the show because of it.

All of this is to say: Representation doesn't have to be hard! On the daily I am awed by the contrast between the willful and blatant harm enacted on the queer community by SPN with the position and tact taken by David Jenkins, showrunner for Our Flag Means Death. Jenkins is not even a queer man, though the writer's room for the show is well and diversely staffed. That being said, Jenkins' responses to questions about queerbaiting just floor me in their sincere naivete.

David. Fucking. Jenkins. Made this whole show with admittedly little to no understanding of queerbaiting and how deeply damaging it is to the queer community. He rolled up in camper trailer filled with weird kiwis and whatever the fuck a Con O'Neill is and cooked up pure gay crack. It's both a miracle and gift simultaneously.

Here's where I'm chaffing: I KNEW there were canon gay leads in OFMD before watching the show and STILL I waited for the other shoe to drop in the form or some sort of queer-related trauma, or for the narrative to devolve into queerness-as-conflict, or for a good ol' fashioned bury-your-gays...

SPN, YOU DID THAT TO ME. I literally couldn't enjoy this beautiful gift at face value because of the actual fucking trauma you caused. I was trapped in an actual, real-life abusive marriage for many years where I was gaslit every single day, and at the risk of sounding diminishing I must confess that watching OFMD caused in me a severe emotional reaction that I struggle to quantify. I suppose this essay is an attempt at making sense of it -- SPN made me feel unsafe, but I kept coming back to it again and again. OFMD is like the first normal relationship after breaking up with the toxic ex, dating someone who validates you, reflects back to you the good you put into the world, tells you that you deserve fine things and wear them well.

All David Jenkins did was treat us like humans. While I shouldn't have to be grateful for that, I am all the same.

Now let us pray that HBO gives us at least two more seasons of rainbow glitter pirate meth post-haste because I can only reblog the same gifset over and over before I start to get a little twitchy. While it won't undo the 12 year hate-crime of destiel, it will certainly go a long way toward making us all feel a lot safer and well-loved.

#destiel #ofmd #spn #our flag means death #blackbonnet #david jenkins #stede bonnet #edward teach #ofmd meta #destiel meta #queerbaiting #my meta #taika waititi #rhys darby #+lgbtqia+

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certified-scoundrel · 2 years

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Finally finished the 13 hours of Victorious video essay content.

What i got out of it:

- watching 13 hours of video in like 2 days is not a good idea when you have a concussion and will give you an excruciating headache that will cause you to vomit multiple times. (i started the first 5 hour video a while ago but thought it would be so smart to RESTART IT WHEN I WAS 3 HOURS IN)

- all the main characters are either horrible people or incredibly boring

- jade is mtf and lesbian

- i related to these horrible people more than i should...

- I want to drop a car battery on Dan Schneider. Over. and Over. and Over.

- Beck is FTM (yes ik he's canonically transphobic but i decided he's trans)

- the way Cat is progressively more and more infantilized throughout the shows run reminds me so much of how someone in my life treated me when we were friends

- Tori is my least favorite character on the face of the planet. She's not even one of those "This character is a horrible person and i love them to much" like with Disney villains, she's a horrible person and i hate her so much because of the way the show treats her actions (will explain more if you want, dm me. i love talking about my special interests)

- Trina. Deserved. Better.

i have more to talk about if you wanna hear about it. Currently in love with video essays and Nickelodeon Sitcoms.

Thanks to Quinton Reviews on youtube for making those extremely long videos about this stuff. my autism thanks you too.

#quinton reviews #victorious #nickelodian #sitcom #victoria justice #ariana grande #autism #tw vomit mention #tw vomit #lgbtq #why do i do this to myself

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lukeevangelista · 2 years

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sister, sister (pt 2) - kent johnson

here is pt 2 to sister, sister!! it’s not much, but it is the conversation between her and brendan, plus a little back story to her and bren.

2nd post of the day? who is she?

first part

masterlist

italics is the flashback.

———————————————————————————-

“what do you mean you’re dating him?”

“bren… i’m dating kent. exactly what i said.”

“but i’m your boyfriend.”

“no you self declared yourself my boyfriend. i never agreed.”

“it’s been known since we were 18 y/n!” he pouted, “i just don’t think he’s good for you.” he shrugged, “he’ll never be good enough.”

“bren..” you let out a laugh, “he’s one of your best friends-“

“exactly!”

“he’s sweet-“

“no he isn’t! he’s a little shit!”

“and he treats me good.”

“i treat you better!” he argued back, rebutting everything you had said causing you to pinch the bridge of your nose.

“owen-“

“no sir, do not even.” you cut brendan off before he could even finish that sentence, knowing what was fixing to come out of his mouth, “owen knows. owen knew and tricked kent into telling him. so don’t try that.”

bren pouted as he threw his hands up, “fine, but i get to yell at him if he breaks your heart.”

“won’t happen, but deal.. i guess.” you sighed, hoping it would shut him up.

“are you sure you want to date him? i mean, i’m right here.” he said as he pointed to himself.

“yes brendan.” you let out a puff of air, “now get out. i have homework and you have practice.”

“oh shit.” he said as he started towards the door, turning around once he heard you holler his name, “change your mind already? damn y/n.”

you shook your head, “no,” you rolled your eyes, “i was going to tell you to be nice to him in practice. owen already is bullying him enough.”

“oh shit, that makes sense on why owen crossed checked him down onto the ice the other day!” he laughed, “i just thought the boyfriends were fighting.”

you pointed towards the door, “out!!”

“going, going.”

———

it didn’t take long for brendan to start running his mouth to the team about you and kent, him trying to gain ‘sympathy’ about you leaving him for kent.

it also didn’t take long for the boys to start making fun of kent at practice, then saying “of course you’d bag one of the power siblings. we just didn’t know which one.” which would cause one of the three of you to roll your eyes, telling them to shut up.

“you just can’t let us be, can you?” you whined as you watched brendan walk in, playfully glaring at kent.

“no. he stole my girlfriend!” he would argue back, you reminding him that you were never dating.

“i didn’t steal anything. she made the first move.” kent argued back.

“you never mentioned that!”

“i didn’t think i had to bren!”

you all knew brendan was joking. it was nothing new. brendan had been there for you quite a bit when it came to relationships and break ups.

it happened when the two of you were 18, owen being 17. you had gone through a breakup with the boy you had started seeing in your sophomore year, you being a senior at this point.

your mom had suggested you guys taking a trip down to see owen play in chicago, to get your mind off things. plus it had been a while since you had seen your little brother.

“you okay? we heard owen talking about it with your mom.” brendan asked as he wrapped his arms around you, “i’ll knock him out if you want me to.”

“i’ll be fine.” you responded, “he’s just a prick.”

“he doesn’t deserve you.” he said, “you deserve better.”

“like who?”

“me. i’ll be your honorary boyfriend,” he grinned down at you as you pulled back, a laugh leaving your lips.

“whatever brisson.” you giggled as he tucked your head under his chin.

“always here y/n/n.”

“i just think kent is-“

“no.”

“why do you never let me finish?” he whined.

“because you’re going to say something stupid.” you responded to the whiny brunette as you continued typing away on your computers, trying to finish the essay that was due at midnight that night.

he crossed his arms, kent looking between the two of you, a laugh leaving his lips as wrapped his arm around you.

“move your arm off of-“

“shut up.” you laughed as you snuggled into kent, “you’ll get your turn eventually.”

#brendan brisson #umich imagine #nhl imagine #owen power #nhl imagines #nhl blurb #kent johnson x reader #kent johnson imagine #kent johnson

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thefallenbibliophilequote · 3 years

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The Asgardian Way

Loki x Reader

Summary: you get your period on the most unfortunate time- on date night with Loki. Embarrassed as you are of the topic from past experiences with boyfriends, Loki shows you that unlike mortal men- Asgardians view this time of the month for women in a much better way.

Word count: 1,849

Warnings: period talk, fluff, shade on Christianity, some shade on human men, Loki being the ideal boyfriend we all deserve.

A/N: this was requested by @the-departed-potato and while I do not take requests I just really had to do this one because this was like just perfect for me specifically to do. Sorry it took so long! Sorry if this sucks!😅 I also truly had to hold myself back from giving even more shade on Christians of old times because damn I could write a whole essay about those people and how they spread misinformation that changed real history to fake mainly bc of witchcraft. This is not beta read so all mistakes are by yours truly!

No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.

Masterlist

It's been going on for months now, the shameless flirting, the gentleman behaviour, and the devious looks he sent your way that completely contradicted his actions and left you a blushing mess even when he only opened the door for you- then he would wink at you.

It wasn't until one night that you gathered up courage to ask him out.

You were staying late at the Avengers Tower, you wanted to finish working on the new gadget you had built with Tony at the lab so he sent you to bring the two of you some coffee- he knew it was useless to tell you to go home and sleep- last time he tried to do it you called him a hypocrite and conditioned one of his suits to blast him if he gets close to you. You found it hilarious. He made sure to update the security of his code.

You went to the kitchen when you happened to overhear a conversation of two gods.

"Why have you not taken her on a date yet, brother?"

"I wish to court her properly, she deserves to be treated like a lady." You heard Loki respond to his brother. You leaned on the wall, trying not to get hopeful and to get the butterflies to calm down.

"Y/N is a fine lady, however, I heard from Stark that midgardian women might mistake courting like ours as mere jest." You smiled a bit at the scoff they both let out.

"Mortals continue to baffle me." Came Loki's comment, before Thor continued- not letting the subject go.

"Ask her on a date, I'm sure she will appreciate it." He encouraged his brother who wasn't as sure.

"I think, brother, that she is different- she will appreciate the old delicate arts of courting." He was not wrong- you were always old fashioned. But now at his admission, you stepped out of the shadows and into their view.

"While I do appreciate the courting, I'd love it if you would ask me out." Loki turned around at the sound of your voice.

"How long have you been standing there, darling?" he fidgeted with his hair.

"Long enough," you stepped down the stairs to stand in front of him. "What do you say about this Friday night at six? There is an art exhibit at the museum, I think you'll like calling out all the inaccuracies."

"Yeah, I'd like that." He gave you a small shy smile, and you completely forgot about Thor who stood on the side, watching it all unfold.

"This is great," he said. "You two are finally going on that date, see brother I told you-"

Thor stopped when he looked at Loki who sent him daggers at ruining the moment. You only chuckled.

"I have to go get Tony and I some drinks, so I guess I will see you then." You were about to turn around to head towards the kitchen when Loki took your hand in his, making you turn around, then he kissed the back of your hand lightly, bowing with a small smile at the blush on your cheeks.

"I look forward to it."

It took you a couple of second to function after he did that, mumbling a quiet goodbye you turned around and refused to look back at the smirking god.

•

You have gone with the god for a couple of dates now and then, sometimes you didn't see him for a whole week because of meetings in Asgard and while you were sad that you didn't get to see him-you were glad he was gone on that exact week every time.

You have been seeing him for about 2-3 months now and it was great- up until your period decided to come early. Right on your scheduled date.

You were nervously pacing your apartment thinking how to tell Loki that you can't go out with him tonight. You didn't want him to see you like this- he is a god, and you- you are a mortal woman who was having trouble getting out of bed because your body decided to punish you for not being pregnant this month.

Your body was so sexist.

Suddenly, a knock on the door.

Groaning, you got out of bed and headed for the door, checking who was there you were puzzled when you saw Loki there, dressed to the nines. Surely you didn't waste so much time, he must be early.

"Dear, are you okay there?" he called you.

"Yes, I'm fine- just a moment!" you tried to make yourself look presentable in a rush just so you could open the door to the dashing prince who was awaiting you.

You opened the door with a smile, which he returned.

You were used to acting like you were okay while your cramps were killing you from the inside but it seems like the god of lies could not be so easily fooled.

"Hi Loki, I was not expecting you this early." You laughed courtly, "And I was actually meaning to call- I'm not feeling so well today, I'm afraid I have to postpone our date tonight."

Loki walked into your apartment, kissing you on the cheek before pulling back to study you.

"I wanted to see you sooner, so here I am. But now that I am here- well tell me what is wrong, dearest?" he frowned when he saw you slightly clench your fists.

"Oh, I'm just not feeling well, I won't be good company and I won't be able to enjoy a lovely night with you I'm afraid."

"I'm a healer my love; you always seem to forget my magic," he smirked slightly causing you to laugh- which was not good right now for you.

"I remember your magic powers very well when you prank me." You countered. "But no, this is not something you need to worry about."

He reached out and took your hand with a small laugh. The door locked itself with a wave of his hand as he took you to the couch.

"I'm afraid you will have to do better than that to fool the god of lies." He took both of your hands in his and you were sure he could see your embarrassment with the way he was gazing into your eyes, "Now tell me, what is wrong?"

"You really don't need to- it's kind of embarrassing-" you started to mumble, lowering your head.

"I'm still here, aren't I? What kind of man will I be if I am not taking care of those I care about?"

You pulled your hands away from him, embarrassed as you mumbled something he couldn't quite put together.

"What was that?"

"I'm on my period." You closed your eyes- not wanting to see his disgusted look. "See, so you don't need to be here, I can take care of it myself and we can reschedule our date to a week from now."

It was not a problem to you- you knew the drill- but having to explain it to a clueless god felt humiliating to say the least.

"Is that all? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" You opened your eyes to a puzzled god.

"Because it would make you uncomfortable," you replied, suspicious of his reaction.

"Why on Odin's beard would it make me uncomfortable?" He frowned at you and looked you over. He started peppering kisses on your hands.

"Because it is my period?" You knew he is a god, but maybe asgardians women didn't get that. "Here on earth, men tend to be disgusted by it, they don't like to get involved in it or talk about it."

He huffed out in surprised anger- that you did not expect. The god in front of you did not know how human males could be so awful.

"Well that is preposterous! Women are to be worshipped at those times!" you stared at him-he had always treated you differently, unlike anything you have seen on earth before. You knew Asgardian ways of manners were much old fashioned and yet so different all the same.

"Then tell me, how do asgardians see it?" you leaned on the back of the couch, facing Loki and pulling a blanket over you. You liked how safe he made you feel, but this still felt weird to you- you were not sure how to react- to what extent it goes. So, curiosity got the better of you, "because if I'm being honest, this is kind of embarrassing."

Loki sent you a smile with a twinkle in his eye.

"Darling there is nothing to be embarrassed of! You are naturally as powerful as a thunder storm, a tornado- lightning cowards before you and your power!" he was going to make sure you understand it, he had never been so baffled by humans before. "You hold the ability of life- eternal life- in every drop of blood that falls from you- from the most powerful being in all the realms. For a couple of days each month- you are being shown your true power even through your suffering- and in that time you, my dear, are more powerful than a god. You should be nothing but worshipped. That is what the gods of Asgard know it to be true."

"Do they really all think that?" you felt a sharp pain suddenly and Loki came closer to you, put his usually cold hand on your stomach and you felt comforting warmness ease your ache.

"They know it. The people of midgard knew it too at some point, but then some people who thought themselves gods- I think they called themselves Christians- decided that the bleeding was a show of witchcraft and called it a sin and spread many lies about it, which now I see are still believed to this day. You see, they were quite stupid." You laughed at the disgusted look he gave you, which in turn made him smile. "You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this but…"

"You never obey such rules." You laughed and put your hand over his one that was comforting you on your stomach.

"In one of Thor's travels he bathed in a river filled with the menstrual blood of the powerful Giantesses. That was to give him enlightenment and eternal life."

"Ew, did he actually do it?" you scrunched your nose and Loki kissed it.

"That is not disgusting- that was powerful and very well respected. When he came back, he was the smartest I have ever seen him."

"I hope he took a good bath after it…" you chuckled and smiled at him, "Thank you for this, the Asgardian way of thinking is way better than that of earth."

"Now, dear, while I do have a preferred way to help take away the pain-" you blushed under his gaze. "Tell me, what is it that you desire? Tell me, so I can worship you as I should."

You kissed him then and you knew right then when he kissed you back that the Asgardian men are way better.

•

Taglist: : @callmeluna @sstanbarnes @buckys-other-punk @drabblewithfrannybarnes @easygoingtheatre @that-one-person @justab-eautifulmess @onceupona-happilyeverafter @wipplogg @supraveng @samwilsons-pillowpecs @ayybtch @kitkatd7 @chrissquares @make-me-imagine @jessalyn-jpeg

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bokuroskitten · 3 years

Text

Business Trip.

➟Summary: Kuroo is away for business for the weekend, but decides to get a taste of his partners through FaceTime. ➟Genre: NSFW 18+ ➟warnings: Poly relationship, Dom/Sub dynamics (Daddy title used), webcam sex, fingering (female receiving), handjobs, begging, kenma slaps your thigh once ➟Character(s): Kuroo Tetsuro x Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader ➟Word Count: 3k

It had been a long day for Kuroo, business trips were never his favourite. Especially the ones where the company was too cheap to accommodate for his significant others as well.

The pouty little face you had given him as he dragged his suitcase out the door still made him laugh. But it did suck, being away from the two of you for the weekend. He let out a gentle sigh as his fingers tugged on his tie, loosening the constricting fabric as his eyes darted over room numbers to find which belonged to him. It didn’t take long for him to find it, easily slipping the white card through the reader and letting himself in.

“Welcome home.” He mumbled to the empty suit, kicking off his shoes and dropping his suitcase by the door. He was too tired to do any unpacking right now, plus the beer cooler was calling his name. After he had a bottle, took a small swig his phone buzzed in his pocket. Easily slipping it from his slacks he scanned the message, amber eyes lighting up a bit when he saw your name.

“You settled in yet? Wanna FT when you do?”

He couldn’t hold back the giddy laugh that bubbled from his throat. He knew you and Kenma would miss him this weekend just as much as he missed the two of you, but seeing the text still managed to send butterflies straight into his chest. So, without a second thought he pulled his laptop from its brief case and set it up on the desk in the corner of the suit. After a quick plug in and a few adjustments he settled into the leather chair, taking another swig of beer as he found the FaceTime icon.

Kenma’s contact was the first one on there.

It rang three times before Kenma’s face popped up on the screen, controller in hand and gaming headset on. Kuroo had assumed he was gaming. With a large grin he waved, earning an eye roll from Kenma.

“Kitten C’mere, Tetsuro’s on.” Kenma called out to you, and Kuroo had to laugh at the shuffling from the other end of the screen, watching your face pop before the webcam with a large smile.

“Hi lovey!! How was the first day?” You spoke, smile staying wide on your face as Kenma pulled you into his lap, his eyes glancing between Kuroo and what he assumed to be the game he was playing previously. Kuroo let out a happy sigh, leaning back into his chair a bit. “Hey kitty... it was okay. Business as usual. I miss you too already.”

“We miss you too Tetsu.” He could hear the pout in your voice as your lower lip pushed out, giving Kenma a little nudge to follow your lead. The faux blonde grunted softly, eyeing you. “It hasn’t even been a full day yet; I don’t miss him— “

“Wow Kenma Cat, affectionate as always~” Kuroo chuckled against the lip of his beer, eyes taking in his significant others. He assumed you were going to bed soon, considering you were wearing one of his old volleyball t-shirts and pyjama shorts. Even Kenma had his hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He watched the way you leaned into Kenma, the way your fingers pet along his thigh softly despite nagging at him for being mean to Kuroo while he was off doing business.

The older male smirked a bit to himself, leaning onto his elbow. “You being good for me Kitty? Not giving Kenma a hard time, are you?”

“Please lovey, he’s the one giving me a hard time— “you respond, pulling back one side of his headphones to snap it back against his skull. The action has him grumbling, finally releasing the controller only so he could tickle along your sides.

There was a stream of giggles to follow and Kuroo sighed in delight. He watched the two of you for a moment, wishing more than anything he could be there with you in that moment. But he gets distracted when amber eyes reach your thighs. From all the squirming you were doing he realized those sleep shorts that he thought were sleep shorts were not that at all. They in fact were just panties, pretty ones at that.

He bit along his lower lip, fingers traveling over the lip of his almost empty beer bottle. When Kenma finally gave up on the tickling you were straddling his thigh, face dug into the crook of his neck as you whined about how unfair it was to bring tickling into a match. Kenma noticed the way Kuroo looked at the two of them through the webcam and his brow twitched, one of his hand slowly pulling his headset around his neck.

“What is it Tetsu?” He spoke, causing you to also peak your head up. Kuroo couldn’t hold back his amusement, the slacks he was wearing beginning to feel a bit too tight.

“Kitty didn’t answer my question... but I think I know the answer since she’s only wearing panties under that T-shirt.” That caused a little light to shine behind your gaze, lips puckering up a bit as Kenma let out a soft scoff. “Observant as always.” He spoke, one hand smoothing down your back, only to cup your rear. His fingers dug into the shirt you wore, clumping it up a bit in his palm to show off more of the panties.

“If you’re just gunna wear panties when you call me baby, you might as well show me them hm?” Kuroo purred, eyes narrowing a bit in delight as your thighs subconsciously tightened up around Kenma’s. The blonde nudged his nose gently into your hair, his chest tightening up at the way Kuroo was eyeing them through the monitor.

It made him desperately wish he was home.

“C’mon Kitty, you’ve been good for me all day so let’s be good for Daddy now.” Kenma murmured, hearing a little hum of approval from Kuroo on the other end of the computer. Feeling an encouraging pat on your rear you let out a pleased little sound, nodding a bit as you slowly rose from Kenma’s lap. With his help you settled into his lap again, this time with your back against his chest. Feeling his hands grip your thighs you followed their lead and rose them up, spread them far enough apart so that Kuroo could have a good view of the panties you wore. Kenma slid one hand low enough on your thigh that his fingers brushed along your covered slit, a needy little noise bubbling past your lips as you turned your face into Kenma’s shoulder.

“So pretty...” Kuroo spoke, his eyes staying trapped on Kenma’s lean fingers against your dark panties before slowly traveling up to look at your face, the way your eyes glistened with need and how you began to bite your lip swollen. Kenma had a light blush on his cheeks, his own amber gaze following his fingers as they left feather like strokes over your core. “Was she really good Kenma? Think Kitten deserves a treat?”

“I think so...” he mused, his lips pressing subtle kisses to your hair line, attempting to bring your face back to look at Kuroo. “She finished that essay, made dinner for herself and me, even called the doctor and made an appointment all by herself. Isn’t that right Kitty?”

Kuroo raised a brow at that, a little bit of pride swelling in his chest. You really had had a productive day and he always loved seeing you and Kenma do your best. But when you slowly met his gaze again, eyes glossy and lips slightly hung in a silent plea he groaned, fingers squeezing along his length as you nodded.

“What a good girl we have, want Koz to give you a treat baby?” Kuroo asked, easily easing the belt he had on out of its loops considering he already knew your answer. Your answer slipped between your lips soft and pretty. “Yes please...”

“C’mon Kitten, louder so Daddy can hear.” Kenma encouraged, a little smirk on his face as he watched Kuroo lean back in his chair, fist gripping was he assumed to be his freed cock. He probably had a long day and deserved a treat himself.

“Y-Yes Please...” you spoke again, this time a bit louder, your own eyes traveling back to the monitor to see Kuroo looking at the two of you with desire. “Please what Kitty? I wanna hear you say the whole thing.” Despite being behind a screen there were still rules to be followed, and Kuroo intended to make you keep every one of them.

Although your voice threatened to give out due to Kenma’s fingers that suddenly began to add a bit more pressure over your panties, you spoke, voice a bit shaky and filled with need. “Please... I want a treat please Kozume... Can he give me a treat, Daddy?”

“Yea Baby, let’s see it.” Kuroo urged, spitting into his palm before slowly working it over his length, which already stood very much at attention. He watched the screen closely as Kenma hooked two fingers around your panties, easily pulling the damp fabric to the side. You whined as the cold air hit your cunt, hips pressing forward a bit only to be held back by Kenma’s free hand. He ran two fingers over your folds, slowly peeling you open in a lewd manger that had your face heating up.

“Pretty thing isn’t it Tetsu?” Kenma murmured, holding back a snicker at the way Kuroo devoured you through the camera. “Fucking right it is.” Kuroo agreed, his hand squeezing along his shaft. He desperately wished he could press his length into your welcoming pussy, make Kenma watch instead with his arms bound and begging, but due to business this would have to do. “Sink two fingers in her cunnie Kenma, nice and slow for me.”

Kenma did as he was told, his index and middle finger slowly sinking into your pussy. Your head lulled back onto his shoulder at the action, a sweet moan slipping from your lips as you clenched about his fingers. Kuroo smirked, his own hand working along his shaft. “C’mon Kitty keep those pretty eyes on me, tell me how it feels.”

You whimpered softly, cheeks heated, and lips parted as you slowly made eye contact with Kuroo through the screen. “It—It feels so good Daddy.” Kenma began to press kisses along your throat, making it much harder for you to form coherent sentences. “I bet it does baby... want him to pump his fingers in there? Make you cum?” Kuroo knew the answer but wanted you to say it in that needy voice you held during times like this.

Kenma’s thumb pressed along your clit then, causing you to let out a pleased cry. Kuroo chuckled when your thighs threatened to close, only for Kenma to swat the skin of your inner thigh and make a noise of disapproval. “Thighs open.” Kenma spoke lowly, eyeing Kuroo and the way his muscles seemed to tense.

Sucking in a trembling breath you urged your thighs back open, whining softly as Kenma continued to rub slow circles into your clit. “I—I want that Daddy... Please can Kenma move his fingers— please.” You gave Kuroo a pleading gaze, hips pressing forward ever so slightly off Kenma’s lap in an attempt to feel more of his fingers. Kuroo couldn’t keep that damn grin off his face as his pumped himself a bit faster, a bit of sweet building up behind his bangs. “Yea babygirl he can. Koz, fuck our Kitten good for me.”

Without another word Kenma began to pump his fingers in and out of your cunt, going all the way up to his knuckles before pulling back out again slowly. You couldn’t help but cry out, one hand desperately gripping his shoulder as your eyes threatened to spill tears. The pads of his fingers pressed along your inner walls, feeling for that one spongy spot that would have you crumbling in his grasp. All the while he kept his eyes glued on Kuroo who watched the whole thing with blown out pupils, moans of his own slipping out as he worked his length.

“Isn’t she pretty Daddy...~” Kenma murmured, his hand leaving your clit only to take hold of your chin, force it forward so you could look into the webcam. The action made a little bit of drool dribble from your lips, making Kuroo groan in delight. “Yes, she is baby, so fucking pretty... I wanna see her cum around your fingers.” He demanded again, his own tolerance running thin as he watched your pussy greedily suck in two of Kenma’s digits.

Kenma hid his smirk against your hair but could tell by the sound of Kuroo’s voice that he wouldn’t last much longer. Wanting to make him happy he brought his free hand back down to your clit, giving the swollen bud some much needed attention as his fingers picked up their pace, finally finding that sweet spot. Your eyes widened, a gasp of delight making you arch your back in Kenma’s lap. “That’s the spot isn’t it Kitty... need you to cum around my fingers for Daddy, can you do that?”

“Yes, yes yes please— please Koz— “Your words were nothing but babbles at this point, words slipping into whimpers and moans as Kenma’s fingers continued their assault on your sweet spot. Kuroo was panting himself, watching the way tears finally spilled down your reddened cheeks, the way your thighs trembled uncontrollably, the way Kenma’s fingers looks so slick slipping in and out of your puffy lower lips.

With a small grunt he finally reached his high, his own back arching some as he spilled along his palm, certainly making a mess of the slacks he wore. He fist slowed a bit as he rode out the waves of pleasure that washed over him, amber eyes fluttering as he couldn’t help but chuckle. “Fuck— cum Kitty. C’mon cum right now.”

You wanted to respond, but instead the cord in your stomach snapped when Kenma’s fingers hit your sweet spot again. With a sob of delight your head flew back into Kenma’s shoulder, your pussy clenching about his digits tightly before releasing a little flood. Kenma bit his lip to hold back a moan, the sound of his fingers pumping within you and being covered in your release certainly being loud enough for Kuroo to hear over the monitor. He waited until your core stopped its clenching before he slowly pulled his fingers from you. The fingers that were petting your clit slowly moved to cup your sex instead, petting along it gently as he held his fingers up to the webcam.

“She did good...” Kenma spoke, pulling his two fingers apart to show the slick that stuck to him in strands. The action had Kuroo’s cheek flair up a bit pink, wanting nothing more than to lick it up all for himself. He let out a shaky sigh, finally sinking into the chair. He didn’t bother tucking his now soft cock away knowing he would just hop into the shower after this, but instead he used the napkins nearby to clean off his hand. “She did do so good... you hear that Kitten?” Kuroo spoke, a little grin on his face as you lulled your face back over, tear stained cheeks and all.

“Mhm...” You hummed, body twitching a bit as you slowly closed your thighs about Kenma’s palm, nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck. Kenma let out a soft chuckle of his own, using his clean hand to pull your panties back over your sloppy core. “Sleepy Kitten...”

“Make sure you shower her before you put her to bed.” Kuroo spoke, getting an eye roll from Kenma who already knew to do such things before bed. Holding his dirtied fingers to your lips you allowed your lashes to flutter, before taking his fingers into your mouth without objection. You sucked on them softly, a blush rising on your cheeks as you tasted yourself on his skin.

“Fuck... you’re such a good girl.” Kuroo spoke from the other end of the monitor, the act alone enough to get him hard all over again. But sadly, another hand job given to himself just wouldn’t cut it. Blowing his dampened bangs from his face he watched Kenma nod to his comment, slowly pulling his fingers from your lips before pressing a gentle kiss there. “You are a good girl baby, time to clean you up okay?”

You nodded, and despite your body being a bit twitchy you adjusted yourself so you could straddle Kenma once more, allow him to carry you when he stood. Kuroo watched with a fond smile as you leaned your head into Kenma’s shoulder, fingers gripping his sweater. Kenma leaned into the camera then, spoke softly. “Say goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Goodnight Tetsu... I love you.” You mumbled, briefly looking up to send a smile Kuroo’s way. The little gesture had his heart fluttering. “I love you too Kitty, sleep well.” Kenma huffed softly as he readjusted a bit, held you to his chest. Kuroo sent him a grin then. “If you need some relief Kenma, just do it after you’ve put the baby to bed okay?”

“Nah it’s okay.” The faux blonde spoke, his palm smoothing over your rear. “I’ll wait till you get home. G’night Tetsu. Love you.” He didn’t wait for Kuroo’s response before hanging up, knowing that he would respond with--

“Love you too Koz...” he spoke to now a black screen. Kuroo leaned his head back on the chair, sighing out loud to his now quiet room. He took a few moments before finally standing and heading to the shower. He prayed this weekend would go by faster, just so he could get him to his partners.

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onecanonlife · 3 years

Text

Wilbur wakes up one morning to find white in his hair. This is—irritating, for several reasons, but that’s all it is. An annoyance. A distraction.

There’s nothing deeper at work here. There’s nothing wrong at all.

(Or, the stresses of the presidency give Wilbur a white streak of hair earlier in canon, and somehow, this serves as the cry for help he can never bring himself to make.)

(word count: 6,249)

(first part) (third part) (fourth part)

——————–

Part Two

He tries to pen a letter to Phil. It’s more difficult than he remembers.

Dear Phil, he starts, and that’s good, that’s fine. All is well here in L’Manberg, he continues, and that’s good too. But from there, he’s stumped. What next? What does he tell him about? This is the part where he’d launch into a cute story, something Fundy got up to, or some trouble Tommy caused. But nothing comes to mind. Nothing recent, anyway. But the last letter he sent to Phil was—a month ago? Two, now? So he needs to write, because Phil’s far from a helicopter parent, but he still likes to know what he’s up to. Will still worry, if he gives him a reason to.

So, he needs to finish a letter. Needs to stop procrastinating.

He could write about Niki’s bakery. He can’t remember if he told Phil about it or not. He probably hasn’t, not if it’s truly been that long since his last missive. So he sets his pen to work, scratching out a few more sentences, and he reminds himself that he doesn’t need to be overly verbose. Phil doesn’t need an essay. Just a paragraph or two to assure him that he and everyone else are well, that he’s having fun, that he’s thriving.

Telling him about the bakery will work for that. Except, then, after a bit, he ends up writing, It eases my mind to visit. Truly, it’s one of the only places I let myself relax, and—no. No, that won’t do. That will make him sound as though he’s stressed, and he doesn’t want Phil to worry about that. There’s nothing Phil can do about it, and he couldn’t stand it if the admission led his father to think any less of him. He’s not going to—to start complaining to him. That would be ridiculous.

So he scratches the line out and continues on, except then, he writes, I worry that I’m shirking my responsibilities, but then, I’m probably doing that anyway, simply by virtue of not being, and he stops before he can finish that sentence, because, no. Simply, no. He is absolutely not telling Phil that.

He bites his lip. He’s already scratched out enough that he’ll probably need to start an entirely new draft anyway.

He sets the tip of the pen to paper.

I’m exhausted, he writes, but my mind won’t allow me to rest. Too many shadows in too many dark corners, I suppose. Too many thoughts circling. It’s like a hurricane in my head, and I should be in the eye, but I think the storm wall has caught me. I’m tossing in the air, at the wind’s mercy, and I’m afraid of what will happen when I fall.

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I ever assumed that I did. And I feel afraid, because my inadequacies are failing everyone around me. I have to protect them, have to keep them safe, but sometimes I close my eyes and see everything aflame, or I see Dream and his friends flooding into the Final Control Room. We were betrayed, there. I’ve never told you this, but we all lost a life. Me, Tommy, Tubbo, and Fundy. I couldn’t do a thing to stop it. Somehow, I never thought that dying would be terrifying for me, considering who my mother is, but it is. I was so scared, and I still am.

I think I’m a disappointment. I think that if this country fails, it will be my fault, and it will only be right if I go down with it. My people have little faith in me, and they’re right not to, but I can’t bring myself to step down, because at the end of the day, I’m addicted to the power and responsibility. I’m nothing without it. If I can’t manage this, then how can I deserve the trust and faith that others have placed in me?

Most days, I think that everyone hates me. Most days, I think they’re right to do so. I can’t trust anyone. Not completely, not fully, no matter how much I love them. I feel very alone.

He stops writing. Reads it over. Feels his lips quirk up into a wry smile. He’s certainly not sending that.

But the smile fades away after a moment. He supposes that he hoped writing it all out would make him feel better, but if anything, he feels more tired. Drained. Wrung out. Blank.

He fishes around for a new, unmarred sheet of paper.

Dear Phil, he writes, All is well here in L’Manberg. The city is thriving, and my people are well. I really do want you to visit sometime—but not yet, of course! We’ve been having a spot of trouble with creeper holes lately, and I don’t want that to be your first impression. Between you and me, it’s just a little bit embarrassing.

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I do apologize for that; I don’t know where the time goes. There’s always so much to be doing, and I’m more and more thankful for this chance every day. It’s a lot of fun, having a country of our own, and we’re all working to make it as good as it can be. You should see Niki’s bakery—you haven’t tasted heaven until you’ve tasted something Niki’s baked, I swear. She’s a goddess, really, an essential pillar of our society. Baked goods make the world go round.

Tommy and Tubbo are well, and getting into just as much trouble as usual. Fundy grows up more and more every day. I’m so proud of them all.

Be careful of undead infants, and tell Technoblade I said hello, if you get the chance.

All love,

Wilbur

He sets down his pen and rereads. He’s satisfied with that, and more importantly, Phil will be as well. Now all that’s left is to let the ink dry and—

“Hey, boss man,” Tubbo says, opening the door to his office without knocking. He startles, violently. “How’re things coming?”

His heart shouldn’t be racing. It’s just Tubbo. But he came in without warning, which is—irritating. It’s irritating. That’s what it is. He feels himself flushing, just slightly, but surely it’s annoyance.

“There’s a lot of ‘things’ you could be referring to,” he says. “Are you going to be a little more specific?”

“Nah,” Tubbo says, meandering further into the room. But it’s not a regular meander, it’s a Tubbo sort of meander, which means that he’s here for a purpose. He just doesn’t want to reveal it just yet, or perhaps he’s figuring out how he wants to approach it. “Just wanted to know about general things. Big, vast things. Deep things.”

“Deep things,” he repeats, nodding. “Not much of that going on at the moment. Not a lot of deep things in paperwork.” He pulls the nearest sheet of paper closer to him; technically, that’s what he ought to be doing, not writing letters to a father that’s worlds away. He scans the words; it looks like something complicated about trade, something that sets his head to pounding already. The words swim, like they’re dancing, like they’re taking glee in the way he can’t comprehend them.

“I thought there were lots of deep things in paperwork,” Tubbo says, and he looks back up. “I thought that’s why the print is always so small.”

“Maybe,” he says.

“It makes sense to me,” Tubbo says. “Wilbur, is your hair really white?”

He freezes. “What?”

“Niki said that your hair is turning white,” Tubbo says. “Like an old man’s.”

Anger flares. He thought—he didn’t like that she found out about it, but he at least thought he could trust her with it. Thought that she would keep it to herself, that she wouldn’t let it spread to others, to others that might take it and try to use it as a knife to his jugular. But here is Tubbo, and Tubbo is so obviously staring at his hair, eyes flicking across his forehead and around his ears, and he won’t see anything. He double-checked when he arrived at the office; all of the white is under his hat. But he doesn’t like that Tubbo is looking, that Tubbo is actively trying to see, that Tubbo is treating him like some kind of curiosity, and that Tubbo surely must have some sort of opinion and that opinion cannot be anything but—

“Niki said that hair can turn grey or white if a person is very stressed,” Tubbo says, casually. “Are you very stressed, Wilbur?”

Oh—oh, fuck. Is that actually a thing that happens?

“I told her, it was a bad dye job,” he mutters, glancing back down at his paper. The words remain incomprehensible, but he’s not focusing on it. He nudges his pen with his finger, latching onto the light clicking sound it makes as it rolls and then comes to rest.

“Yeah?” Tubbo asks doubtfully. “What, were you trying to dye your hair white?”

He grits his teeth. “Was there something you needed, Tubbo?”

“Nothing I needed, really,” Tubbo answers. “I just wanted to see how you’ve been doing. Seems like forever since you came out of this office. Do you live in here now or something?” He keeps talking before Wilbur can reply, which is just as well, since he might as well live here, considering the state of his room. “And I think I’ve got a new design for a TNT cannon. Kind of streamlined, you might say, if you wanted to check it out. But I think you should just come and hang out with me and Tommy sometime. You never really do that anymore.”

He has a few feelings about TNT cannons. He doesn’t think about TNT too often, because when he does, his mind fills with fire and smoke, and his heart starts beating faster, climbing into his throat, and he wants to run, wants to run far and fast and away, wants to sit and shake until his body can’t move anymore, even when he knows very well that nothing around him is exploding, that his country is secure and his friends are safe. But some days, he can’t so much as smell smoke without a memory rising up to overwhelm him.

Once, he found himself zoning out in the middle of a conversation, a nearby campfire taking him far away from himself, and be barely returned in time to cover for his lapse.

He’s not a fan of TNT cannons, and he can’t bring himself to pretend to be, not even for the sake of Tubbo’s enthusiasm. And—

Hanging out with him and Tommy sounds nice. He misses them, he admits, and some part of him misses the old days, the first days and weeks and months on the server, when it was them and a dream and his fingers dancing on the frets of his guitar, his voice strong and steady and hopes high on the wind, words ready at his lips and Tommy a force of chaos at his back and Tubbo clever and quick by his side, and he just—misses it. Misses them. Misses it all, misses the days before so much was riding on his shoulders.

But he hasn’t the time.

“I’m sorry, Tubbo,” he says, and tries on a smile. “I’m a bit busy right now. Take a rain check?”

“Sure,” Tubbo says, and shrugs. “Later, then. You say that a lot, though, do you know that?”

He winces. Tubbo smiles. He means no harm. Probably. He thinks he would know if Tubbo meant him harm.

And then, Tubbo leaves, and the tension leaves him all in a rush, leaving him—exhausted. Exhausted, and near tears, for some reason, but he blinks those back. That can wait. He doesn’t cry in his office. That’s unprofessional; anyone could walk in on him, and then where would he be?

What was he doing before Tubbo came in?

Right. The letter. He glances it over, scoops it up, and tucks it away in an envelope. He’ll chuck it at the next crow he sees.

---

It’s Tommy who barges in next, a day later, though at least this time, he’s somewhat expecting it. Because if Tubbo knows, then Tommy knows. That is simply the way of the world. He has a difficult time imagining anything ever coming between those two, even information that would be better kept to oneself.

“Why the fuck is Tubbo going on about your hair, then?” Tommy says, with no preamble, and despite himself, Wilbur smiles. That’s Tommy, all the subtlety of a charging bull. And the question is just as irritating as it was yesterday when it came from Tubbo, but he’s more prepared for it this time. He looks up from his work—work that he’s actually doing, at the moment, and he feels rather proud of himself for it—and meets Tommy’s gaze squarely.

“I’ve had an unfortunate encounter with some hair dye,” he says. “The hair dye won.”

“What the fuck?” Tommy says, but there’s already a laugh in his eyes. Good. Tommy is fairly easily deflected, he’s learned. Because Tommy looks up to him, he knows, and that means he’ll willfully look away from any evidence suggesting that perhaps he is not worthy of admiration after all.

It makes him sick, the way he’s thinking about it. Makes him feel like he’s using Tommy, somehow, taking advantage of his affection, when really, that’s the last thing he wants to do. Tommy is his little brother, his little brother by choice, by years spent on the road together, by hushed conversations in the dead of night as the stars bear witness, by all the little intricacies they’ve learned about each other as time continues to pass. Tommy is his little brother, which means it’s his job to protect him, as best he can. He’s done a piss-poor job of that lately. Tommy only has one life left now.

So he can’t fail him again. And perhaps it’s selfish of him, but he doesn’t want Tommy to think he’s failed, either. If it ever turns out that Tommy hates him, he thinks it might kill him.

“Can I see?” Tommy asks, and he prepared for this, too, braced for it. With a long-suffering sigh, he sweeps his hat off his head and angles his face forward, letting Tommy take a good look.

“Satisfied?” he asks.

“Holy shit,” Tommy says. “How the fuck did you manage that?”

“Very impressively,” he says, and puts his hat back on. He’s sure to tuck all the white back under it. It’s a practiced motion, by now. “Or perhaps not very impressively, as it were.”

“Well, it looks sick,” Tommy says, and Wilbur glances at him immediately. He doesn’t seem like he’s lying. He seems almost—impressed? But he sees him looking right away, and immediately backtracks. “Sick as in disgusting, obviously. It makes you look old. Like an old, old man.”

Tommy’s joking, of course, is all bluster and smoke, no fire. But something in his chest stings, and he realizes that the words hurt, and more than that, they hurt because it’s an echo of what he tells himself. He doesn’t like to look in the mirror anymore—though he never did to begin with, actually—but he is well aware of what he looks like. The white hair is just one more symbol of his failing faith, his lack of ability to handle the job that he set himself out to take in the first place. He should be able to do this, and yet, he can’t, and the white hair—well.

After what Tubbo said, it can only mean that he’s weak. Physical proof of his incompetence. That’s really the only way to look at it.

“Shut the fuck up, child,” he says. “Why don’t you go and find a juice box to drink?”

“Oh, fuck you,” Tommy says, and the song and dance is familiar. Tommy rolls his eyes at him—the disrespect in this house is unbelievable—but he turns to go, and that means that Wilbur’s won.

What he’s won, he doesn’t know. Some more self-disgust, maybe. That’s what it feels like.

Lying to Niki. Lying to Tubbo. And now, lying to Tommy. What a stunning specimen of humanity he is. Working through them all like he has a checklist.

And then, Tommy stops in the doorway and looks back.

“Wilbur?” he asks. “You really are alright, aren’t you?”

And that gives him pause. Tommy’s not supposed to ask him that question. If anything, he’s the one who’s supposed to be asking Tommy that.

“It’s just that,” Tommy continues, “I don’t see you around so much, these days. Except for when there’s a problem, and you come out to try and solve it with, with your words and shit. Diplomatic shit, innit? You do that, but you don’t just—you never come to just spend time with us anymore, like how it used to be. And I just sort of miss that, you know? So I was thinking that maybe we could try and do that again, sometime soon? Just, hanging out, like the good old days?”

The good old days.

He doesn’t quite have the heart to tell Tommy that the good old days are long over, that they have been long over since the day Sapnap came to arrest them all for starting a drug empire and the forest around them was set ablaze, since the day they declared independence from the Dream SMP, since the day he in all his naivety declared that all they had to do was ignore the conflict and it would pass them by, since the day he was proven so very, very wrong. Since the day he learned that as much as he values his words, his diplomacy, his efforts toward nonviolence, some people only recognize power in iron and steel.

Since the day he watched his men, his comrades, his family die around him, and knew that he led them to that fate. Since the day Tommy traded his life and then his discs for their independence, and he knew that he couldn’t do a thing to help.

The good old days are long gone. The good old days belong to a different version of him, one that was young and hopeful and stupid, one that had no idea what he was getting into. And he likes to think that he’s still hopeful, that he still strives for a better future, but—

He’s learned. Nothing comes easy, here. There will be no more halcyon summers. The days are getting colder, and there will be no more rest.

“Sure,” he says, and this lie tastes far more bitter than all the rest. “I’d like that.” He gestures at his desk. “I’ve been really busy, but I would like to spend time with you. I’ll let you know when I can, alright?”

And Tommy believes him. He sees it in his answering smile, and he hates himself.

“Sounds good, big man,” Tommy says. “See you later then, yeah?”

“See you later,” Wilbur agrees, and then Tommy, too, is gone. He’s alone in his office, with his duties and his thoughts, and neither of them are kind.

Not that he thinks himself deserving of much kindness.

---

He waits two weeks before visiting the bakery again. It’s not completely intentional; he doesn’t have much time to get away anyhow. But part of it certainly is. He doesn’t want to come again so soon, doesn’t want to know how Niki’s going to look at him, doesn’t want her to poke and prod at something that isn’t important, that is a minor, irritating detail. He doesn’t want to discuss it, and he thinks that Niki might try, so he stays away.

But not forever. He can’t bring himself to take so drastic a step, even if his visits are a bit of a distraction. One that, perhaps, he can’t really afford.

So he steps inside and immediately wants to backtrack, because Niki’s not the only one here. Fundy and Jack Manifold are both sat at the counter, and both of them are looking at him now, having swiveled in their seats to watch his entrance. And that means he can’t leave, because if he leaves without saying anything, they’ll ask him why he did that, and he’ll have to make up something to avoid admitting that he’s been a little bit terrified of interacting with people lately. Because absolutely no one can know that.

Because it’s stupid. Pathetic. He’s pathetic, and he’s become quite accustomed to that word. It seems to live in his head now, like it’s made a nest in his brain, a little roost. Pathetic. Everything he does feels pathetic to him, and probably to everyone else around him.

“Oh,” Jack Manifold says. “Hi, Wilbur. Didn’t expect you in.”

Fundy doesn’t say anything. Just blinks at him, tail swishing. He finds that he doesn’t know what to say. But he needs to think of something, some reason for being here, and if he can manage it, some excuse for extricating himself quickly. The silence has gone on just a little too long, and he’s been standing in the doorway for a full five seconds now, and he needs to come in completely because it’s weird, what he’s doing, and they’re going to call him on it.

And then, Niki pops her head between the two of them, leaning far over the counter, resting practically all of her weight on it.

“Wil!” she says, and smiles. “I’m glad you came! I’m making honey bread, and I know you like that.”

And just like that, he relaxes. Not completely, but to ask that of him would be to expect the impossible. It’s enough.

“I do,” he agrees, and steps further in, letting the door close behind him. “Seems I have good timing.”

The tension in the air—imagined or real? He’s not sure—dissipates. Jack grins at him, raising a glass of—probably not alcohol? He doesn’t think Niki keeps alcohol stocked in here, or at least, none other than the cooking variety. Might be milk. And Fundy still doesn’t say anything, but his tail keeps twitching, and his eyes keep darting between him and the empty stool next to him, and he really hopes that’s an invitation, because that’s how he’s going to take it.

He slides onto the seat, letting his coat fall behind him. His hat, he keeps on. He’s not laying his face on the counter today. Not with other people here. He probably wouldn’t have anyway, tempting though it is. He always feels sleepier in here. It’s probably the warmth.

But he won’t fall asleep.

Niki’s gone back over to the ovens, inspecting her bread. He can smell it on the air, fresh and sweet, and his stomach twists. Has he eaten today? He’s not sure that he has. Though he definitely did yesterday—evening. He thinks. Definitely. A couple apple slices shoved in his mouth, swallowed without really tasting them. But it counts.

“What have you two been up to lately?” he asks. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Not too much,” Jack Manifold answers easily. “Mostly been hanging around Tommy and Tubbo. Getting into mischief, you might say. Nothing too serious or anything!” he is quick to add, seemingly remembering exactly who he’s talking to. “Nothing—I mean, nothing illegal, no, sir. Not us. But, you know, it’d probably be best not to share the details.”

He quirks an eyebrow. “Fair enough,” he says. “As long as it’s not something that I’m going to have to clean up later.”

“We’ve already cleaned up,” Jack says.

“Good.” He looks at Fundy, and affection blooms in his chest, sudden, almost overpowering. His boy’s grown up of late. He can barely remember it happening. It seems that only yesterday he came up knee-high, and now, he’s a man in his own right. But still his little champion, always. “How about you? I know we haven’t been fishing yet. I’m sorry—you know that’s the first thing on my list when I finally get a bit of time.”

Fundy glances away. “I know,” he says. “I’ve been fine.”

“I’m glad,” he says, and Niki saves him from having to say anything else—though why he thinks of it as a rescue, he isn’t sure—by walking back over and placing some bread on the counter before them.

“Fresh from the oven,” she says, “so it’s hot. Be careful.”

It smells nothing short of divine. Niki smiles, pleased, as Fundy and Jack reach for a piece right away, and he isn’t far behind them. Though he tries to be a little more neat about it than the other two are being. The way they’re digging in, he’d think that they’re starving. Frankly, he can’t blame them for it, not when it’s Niki’s food on the line, but he still tries to have a bit more decorum.

“Niki,” Jack says, mouth full, “you are an angel among mere mortals.” Fundy doesn’t say anything, but his tail is swishing happily.

Niki rolls her eyes, and takes a bit of bread for herself. “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” she admonishes. “But thank you, Jack.” And then, her gaze drifts to him, and he finds himself stiffening. For no reason. It’s Niki. It’s just Niki. He trusts Niki. She’s basically his best friend, and he’s comfortable here. He is. This is a place of safety, as much as there are such places to be found. Safety, true safety, is not a thing that exists, not really. But here is as close as he can get to it.

Why can’t he let himself unwind?

Is it because Jack and Fundy are here? He hopes not; that wouldn’t be fair to them. They are his countrymen, his citizens, and more than that, Fundy is his son. What would that say about him as a parent, if being around his child makes him nervous? Not just nervous in a I-hope-I-don’t-fuck-up-my-kid way, but in a I-don’t-feel-safe-here way?

But his shoulders are stiff, slightly hunched. He can’t force them down. So he has to hope it’s not too obvious, that the lines of his coat disguise the hard set of his posture, a stance that indicates he thinks there’s a threat, if they know how to read him right. Which they shouldn’t. They shouldn’t.

“How about you, Wil?” Niki asks, and he takes another bite of bread. Small, so as not to get crumbs everywhere, and he swallows before answering.

“It’s as good as always,” he says. “Do I have to say it?” Though it sits heavier in his stomach than usual, but she doesn’t need to know that.

“I’m glad,” she says. “It’s been a little while since the last time I saw you. You are eating properly, right?”

It’s concern, not an accusation, no matter how misplaced. The question shouldn’t raise his hackles. But it does, and all that’s left is to keep it from showing, to keep it from his voice.

“Of course I am,” he says, and before he can get anything else out, Jack laughs.

“Wouldn’t do to have our president starving on us,” he says, and his voice is light, full of laughter, joking. It’s a good thing that Jack feels comfortable enough to joke with him. He’s glad, because—he doesn’t know him all that well, definitely doesn’t trust him, not yet, but Tommy and Tubbo seem to like him, so it’s good that he’s fitting in, that he’s found a place, that he likes it here. Though liking isn’t always enough to stop the betrayal before it comes. He ought to keep a closer eye on him, just in case, but—that wasn’t the point of this.

The point is that, joking or not, Jack is completely right. It wouldn’t do to let his eating habits interfere with his duties. He’s already weak; is he going to add malnutrition on top of that? Never mind that he often doesn’t feel like eating, these days, that he really only has an appetite when he’s here, in the bakery. He needs to keep his strength up so that he can get things done. And he can’t force himself to sleep, so that problem is out of his hands, but he can force himself to eat.

Jack couldn’t have known what he was prodding at, of course, when he made the comment. But he takes another bite of bread anyway. It’s tough to swallow, even though it tastes delicious. He doesn’t know why. He’s never had an issue eating Niki’s food before. He hopes this doesn’t become a pattern.

And he hopes it’s not because there’s other people here. It would be an explanation, at least, but not one he likes. The implications there wouldn’t be—good, to say the least.

“Jack,” Niki says quietly, admonishingly, and he wishes she wouldn’t, because he doesn’t want Jack to examine what he’s just said, to analyze it as anything other than a joke. So he musters a smile, a quirk of an eyebrow, and Jack grins back at him.

Safe territory. Level ground, even footing. Relatively speaking.

And then Fundy pipes up.

“Hey, Wil,” he says, and Wilbur wonders, suddenly, where he picked up the habit of calling him ‘Wil’ or ‘Wilbur’ more often than he calls him ‘dad’. Not that he minds it, but it’s curious. Could it be from him? He himself calls Phil by his name more often than not. Perhaps it’s genetic. But then Fundy continues, “Is your hair actually, like, turning white?” and Wilbur is no longer interested in thinking about little details like that.

He’s tense again. Tense enough now that they can probably see it, even without looking too hard.

“Why is everyone so interested in my hair, lately?” he asks. “It’s just hair. Grows out of everyone’s head. Except for yours, Jack Manifold.”

“Point,” Jack Manifold agrees, but there is a gleam in his eyes, behind his glasses, that says he too is interested in the direction this conversation has taken. Not ideal.

“It’s just that,” Fundy persists, “it’s a little bit weird, right? If it’s turning white like that? Is that normal?”

“It’s not ‘turning white,’” he says, which might be a mistake, because he’s lying through his teeth, now. “It was a bad hair dye incident. Nothing you need to be concerned about.”

Jack laughs. “How’d you manage to fuck up hair dye that badly?” he asks, and the way the question is phrased is irritating; he doesn’t want Jack to start thinking he’s an incompetent fool who can’t dye his own hair properly. But he’ll also take this line of questioning over the other, so perhaps it balances out.

Except then, Niki splays both her hands on the counter. Any earlier levity that she had is now gone.

“Is that so?” she says. “That’s not what you told me.”

His heart is pounding again. He really, really hopes that he’s not developing a condition of some kind. He’d know if he were having a heart attack, wouldn’t he?

“I’m pretty sure that is what I told you,” he says, and Niki shakes her head.

“No, you told me that it wasn’t dye, when I asked,” she says. “And then you said that it was, but you were lying.”

She doesn’t sound angry, which is perhaps the worst thing about all of this. She doesn’t sound angry that he’s lied to her, taken advantage of her trust and fed her a blatant falsehood. Her voice is calm, matter-of-fact, and there’s a glimmer in her eyes that isn’t annoyance or betrayal or any of the other emotions she should be feeling. Instead, it’s concern. That blasted concern again.

He doesn’t deserve it.

“Really?” Jack says. “Huh. Well, what’d you do that for, then?”

He’s changed his mind. The worst thing about all of this is that there are other people present. That he’s not alone with Niki, which would still be an undesirable situation, but manageable. Jack Manifold and Fundy are both here, staring at him, expecting answers that he doesn’t want to give, and Fundy—

Why is his son looking at him like that?

“Why are you all so pressed about my hair?” he demands. “It’s hair. You don’t even see it.”

“I mean,” Fundy says, “like I said, it’s just kind of weird, right? I don’t think hair just turns white for no reason. Not unless you’re really old, which you’re not, I don’t think. So I guess we’re just curious about what the reason is.”

He doesn’t want to talk about this. This isn’t why he came here. This place, this bakery, these people, it’s supposed to be an escape from his responsibilities. The only one he allows himself, even though he knows he shouldn’t. It’s the one place where he doesn’t have to think about his own failings, where he can relax a bit and let himself be, if only for a little while, but here they are, pushing him on this, and he doesn’t want it. Doesn’t want to be reminded of his incompetency. And they don’t know, can’t know exactly what they’re doing to him, but—

He slams his hand against the counter, sudden emotion boiling over. They all jump, the three of them. Niki’s eyes widen, and Fundy’s ears press back against his skull.

“Then don’t be,” he snaps. “Leave it the fuck alone. It’s really none of your business, is it?”

There is a moment of silence. The only sound is the crackling of furnaces.

“I guess not,” Fundy mutters, and he realizes what he’s done.

He’s just snapped, lashed out at his friends, his countrymen, his son, and for what? Because their questions are stressing him out? He should have turned around and left the moment he saw them in here, no matter what they would have thought, because this is worse. This is so much worse than that, and now he feels like an absolute shitstain of a human being. What kind of person gets so fucking upset over questions about his hair?

“I’m sorry,” he says. Too little, too late. “I didn’t mean—” Fundy is looking at him. They all are, and suddenly, he can’t bear it. Not any longer. “I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I really should be going. Thank you for the bread, Niki.”

It’s painfully transparent, and he is very aware of the fact that it’s the exact same way that he rushed out of the bakery when he was last here. Except this time, there are more people here to witness his shame.

History repeats itself, he thinks, bitterly. History repeats itself, and it only gets worse.

But he’s not staying here. He can’t. He just—can’t. Because he feels very upset over such a stupid little thing, and he’s upset that he’s upset, and now he’s upset other people, and he can’t stay here any longer, because if he does, the gods only know what’s going to fly out of his mouth next.

“Wil, please stay,” Niki says, but he’s already standing.

“Be seeing you all,” he says, and the door isn’t far, but it feels like miles, because he can feel their stares burning into his back as he makes his exit.

“Aw, wait, Wilbur, you don’t have to—” Jack starts, but he’s out the door. He’s out the door, and he lets it swing shut behind him, and the words cut off. He doesn’t have to listen to them. So if Fundy says anything, he doesn’t hear it, and he wonders why that makes him feel so much worse. Worse than he does already, which is no mean feat.

His stomach growls. He’s hungry. How many bites of bread did he take? Two? Three? Not enough to be filling. But somehow, he already knows that if he seeks food elsewhere, it will turn to ash in his mouth. And he can’t go back, not after the scene he’s just made, so he’s going to have to be hungry. Which is fine. He’s fine. He’s fine, even though he’s just fucked everything up, and he rather thinks he might not be able to show Niki his face ever again. So, no more bakery. No more safe place, and wow, he is being a dramatic fuck, isn’t he? But he can’t help himself. He never can.

He should have known better from the start. There is no such thing as safety. No exceptions. He should have tried harder to remember that. And he’s not angry, not anymore, not really, because they weren’t aware of the hornets’ nest they were stirring up; rather, he’s angry at himself, for losing control, for letting himself react, for not being able to handle a simple question with the poise and calm that is expected of him as president.

For being weak. That’s what it comes down to. His weakness. Persistent, and now, persistently on display.

He does a lot of screaming into his pillow that night. It doesn’t help. And sleep, it seems, is determined to continue its avoidance, so the night stretches long, and even his tears eventually run dry.

---

The next day, Niki comes to his office.

115 notes · View notes

suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

Text

Tell Me What You’re Thinking (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader

Summary: You overhear something you shouldn’t hear. But Calum will make it right, won’t he?

Warnings: ANGST. Language (including insults), mentions of alcohol, drugs and cheating. MC with low self esteem. Some grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 4 k

Author’s Note: hi I’m back with the angsty shit. This is very self indulgent, and I put Mitchy as a bad guy here, so sorry if you like him? Reblogs, Commets, Feedback and likes are very welcomed and encouraged! I love to hear from you guys ❤️ hope you like it and Happy Reading ✨🦋🌻

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

You sighed as you finished your last paper. It was finals week and you were officially done with your exams and term papers for the semester. The last couple of weeks were rough and no one knew that more than you and your boyfriend Calum who has been by your side through this whole stressing process.

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the encouraging words that Calum often said to you. He knew how hard you worked in school and at your part time job in a law firm, and you appreciated how much he cared for you in times of stress and frustrations. Always cheering you up from the bleechers as you made a name for yourself.

Calum promised that once you were done with school for the semester, he was going to take you out on a well deserved Holiday, just the two of you and Duke as you celebrated another six months worth of work done. Everything was already planned for the next weekend and you couldn’t wait.

You reread your final essay one more time and decided that it was enough for today and if there were any mistakes left, then you’ll deal with them tomorrow. Now the only thing in your mind was a cozy blanket and a feel good movie. But first, you needed to get some food and drinks for your mini celebratory self care session.

The thought of asking Calum to come join you crossed your mind, but you quickly remembered that tonight was boys night. Every couple of weeks Calum and his friends have a little night out to catch up and decompress all of the stress of the week. Tonight was Calum’s turn to host boys night as they decided to have a quiet night in, so they must be having a good time downstairs and you didn’t want to ruin the mood.

With that thought in mind, you carefully placed your laptop on Calum’s side of the bed and carefully untangled your legs from under the covers so you wouldn't wake up Duke, who snuggled with you every time you had to work to keep you company. You put on one of Calum’s hoodies and headed downstairs trying your best to not make any sound.

Before you even reached the last step of the stairs, you could already hear your boyfriend’s laugh and it made your heart flutter. Even after almost three years of being together, his laugh still gives you butterflies every time you hear it, falling even more in love than what is possible.

Once you were in the kitchen, you started looking into the cupboards as you searched for your favorite snacks, but in the end you were unable to find any, thinking that maybe Calum has hidden them somewhere on the top shelves where he knows you can’t reach.

Letting out a small huff, you debated with yourself the option of climbing up the counter or admitting defeat and go ask your boyfriend for some help. Luckily, you didn’t have to decide as you heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite scholar” Said Ashton with a light chuckle “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be out tonight since it’s boys night”

You smiled as you let him wrap his arms around you to give you a hug. Ashton was the first friend you made when you moved to LA a couple of years back, he was the one who introduced you to Calum in the first place, and you were very thankful for having him as a best friend.

“I had to finish up some term papers, so I had to reschedule my girl’s night for tomorrow” You explained to the black haired man “And what are you doing here? Need a refill?” You ask, pointing to the empty glass he was holding.

Ashton nodded, “Yeah, but I also needed a time out. Mitchy is kinda being very obnoxious today” He said with a sigh.

Mitchy Collins was a close friend with the boys for many years now, but you can’t say that he is a friend of yours. It’s not like you haven’t tried to befriend the singer, on the contrary, you both had multiple chances to get to know each other but he either ignored you or made things very awkward between you. And, to be honest, you were not that excited to become his friend either. There was something weird about him, a bad vibe per se, that made you not trust him at all. He was always very loud, obnoxious and downright rude sometimes and it made you very uncomfortable. Both Calum and Ashton knew about your uneasiness with Mitchy, so they didn’t push it too far and you were thankful for that.

“Oh?” You asked, trying to mask your discomfort “What is he saying this time?”

“Just a bunch of bullshit, to be honest. He is very high right now and thinks he’s above everyone else” Ashton said, taking a seat on one of the kitchen island stools. You did the same as you offered him a glass of water.

“Are you high right now?” You chuckled.

“Nope. Calum and I decided to stay clean tonight cause tomorrow we start early in the studio and the weed kinda messes up our pipes” He explains.

“What about Luke and Mikey?”

“They are not here yet, they said they needed to finish up something for a song and then they will meet us here” Ashton shrugged, not giving it too much importance “And what about you, darling? How was your day?”

You began to tell Ashton about how you finally finished the semester and how excited you were for your little getaway with Calum next week. However, every couple of minutes you were interrupted by a loud laugh or an obnoxious comment coming from the living room where the rest of the boys were sitting. Sometimes their loud comments started loud conversations that neither of you could help but overhear, but you did your best to ignore them. But some things are easier said than done.

“I’m telling you man! You can do so much better” You heard Mitchy’s voice echoing through the house, followed by a chuckle from Calum who mumbled something among the lines of “Fuck off”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you stopped the conversation you had with Ashton in order to pay attention to what was being said down the hall. You looked at Ash with a confused face, wondering what they could be saying but at the same time not knowing if you should continue listening to their private affairs. You were about to open up your mouth to continue what you were saying until another comment made by Mitchy caught your attention.

“You have to admit she is the worst sometimes. All she does is boss you around like you are some kind of puppet. She is the definition of annoying”

You sat up straight as you looked at Ashton, who mirrored your puzzled expression.

“Is- is he talking about me?” You asked in a whisper.

Ashton shook his head “I don’t thi-”

“I swear! What does she even do besides work and study all the time? She barely has time for you. You said it yourself! And when she’s not doing any of those things? She’s nagging around and clinging to you like you’re a damn purse! That’s who Y/N is”

You froze in the spot. So they were talking about you… and did Calum really say you don’t have time for him? You don’t even get time to yourself and he knows that! He said he was okay with it, that he understood and supported you through and through… Guess not.

“I still don’t know what you saw in her, dude. She’s just plain boring, playing to be a good girl when in reality she has zero personality” He continued his rant “She does nothing for you! Honestly! I’m surprised you made it this far with that bitch”

You knew that wasn’t true. He never really made an effort to get to know you! how could he be saying all those stuff? You did everything for Calum, all your goals, your plans are for the both of you. How could he know that if he never really talked to you? But you had to admit that that first comment really hurt. You were always doubting yourself at the beginning of your relationship with Calum, always feeling like you weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, or smart or fun or hot… To fight off those kinds of feelings was a difficult job to say the least, but Calum was always there to fight them with you, reassuring you that he loved you. He loved every part of you and he will love you forever.

“Is she at least a decent fuck? Cause I don’t see her doing anything remotely interesting in bed” Mitchy laughed “If she’s not she’s just wasting your time”

You noticed how Ashton suddenly stiffened next to you when he heard Mitchy’s comments. His knuckles turned white as he gripped his fists at the side of his body “Okay, that’s enough” But you were quicker, grabbing onto his shirt as a sign to make him stay there with you and not cause a scene.

His eyes found yours and you could see the anger build up on them, you knew that he would defend you no matter what and you loved him for that. But you knew Calum would defend you over there, he wouldn't let him talk about you that way.

“Ash, please” You pleaded, tugging on his shirt for him to take a seat again. But he preferred to stay standing next to you, almost like guarding and shielding you from any other comment that might hurt your feelings.

“I can’t let him talk about you like that!” He hissed. But you just shook your head.

“I know, Ash. I know. But Cal will handle it” You said confidently, trying to keep yourself together.

You knew Calum would not let those comments slide. Even if you weren’t in the room with him, those comments were awful and very hurtful, no one deserves to be treated like that, especially by someone as close as a friend of his.

You waited for his intervention, but your heart crushed when the only thing you heard from him were laughs.

“She’s a good fuck” That’s all he said.

The grip you had on Ashton’s shirt suddenly flattered as you fought the lump in your throat “Y-you said he wasn’t high” You whispered to Ashton, who was just as frozen as you were after hearing his best mate’s comment.

“He’s not” He said, standing tall next to you. As much as he wanted to go in there and give the guys an earful, he knew you needed him here with you.

Out of all the things Mitchy has said, out of all the insults and belitments, that’s what he says? That you’re a good fuck?

You knew that you could be annoying sometimes when you got happy. You just wanted to share that happiness with everyone around you and you thought… you thought that Calum liked that. You were not a bad girlfriend, you always tried your best to make him as happy as he makes you; to love him as much as he loves you, cause he loves you. Doesn’t he?

If he loves you then why is he letting his friend say all of this stuff about you? Why is he not saying anything? Does- does he agree with him?

The tears started rolling silently, half of you not believing what you were hearing while the other half clang to the idea of Calum defending you at some point.

“Oh I know!” Said Mitchy after a while “I can introduce you to someone! Right now, actually. Her name’s Vanessa and she’s crazy hot, dude”

He can’t be serious.

Ashton looked at you with pleading, furious eyes. Almost begging you to go and let him deal with them. But you grabbed his hand and made him stay. This has to be it. This has to be the chance for Calum to say something.

“You’re kidding right?” The curly haired man asked. Making you let out a breath of relief.

“Not at all! Think about it. We go, you meet her, you fuck her and done!” He said like it was nothing “Y/N will never find out cause she’s stuck up her ass. Your fans will never know or they won’t care cause they don’t even know you are in a ”relationship” to begin with! You are single to their eyes. And you get a decent fuck from someone who looks the part and knows how to have fun! It’s a win - win!”

Your heart stopped as you waited for Calum to answer. To tell Mitchy to go fuck himself. To tell him that he loves you and would never do that to you.

“I don’t know, man. I’ll think about it” Calum shrugged “Plus, if we go out I’ll have to tell Y/N. She’s upstairs finishing some shit for her university”

“Fucking hell… see! I told you! A stuck up bitch” Mitchy said, making Calum laugh.

But their laughs and the rest of the conversation grew numb to your ears. Your body trembled as the tears came flooding in, holding in the sobs that were tearing up your throat. How could he? He was really thinking of cheating on you.

You could feel every little piece of your heart shattered as you search for some kind of leverage that could hold you still so you don’t fall and break. You felt ill, disgusted and heartbroken.

As you tried to get up, you felt your knees buckle and almost fell to the ground if it weren’t for Ashton holding you up. He was still there and you knew by the look in his eyes that he was not going anywhere.

He was just as disgusted and angry as you. He couldn’t believe all the things that were said tonight, all the things that Calum failed to make it right and hurt you in the process. He knew that if he were in that room that the conversation would’ve died the moment it started. He would never let them talk about you that way.

“I-I can’t-“ You cried, moments away from hyperventilating “I can’t stay here, Ash”

He nodded, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head for reassurance “Go upstairs, love. Grab your stuff and we’re getting out of here. You’re staying with me tonight, okay?” Ashton let go of you and started walking towards the living room where the rest of the guys were still talking.

“Ash” You called, making him turn around “D-don’t make a scene, please”

He sighed as he muttered a quiet “okay” before turning around, leaving you alone as you went upstairs to grab the bare necessities to spend the night, you’ll figure out the rest later. Right now you just needed to get out of here.

You opened the bedroom door and almost collapsed at the entrance. Duke came running towards you, sensing that there was something wrong as he started to whine and tried to jump into your arms. That only made you cry harder as you realized that you were leaving him too. You fell to the floor and patted the puppy as he tried to wipe off your tears with his tongue, breaking your heart even more.

A loud voice cut you out of your thoughts. You could hear Ashton yelling, although you couldn’t exactly figure out what he was saying. This meant that Calum knew you heard everything and that, if he had at least some decency left in him, he would come and get you. You needed to act fast.

You stood up and grabbed the first big bag that you could find. Inside of it you threw your laptop, your books, your charger, some clothes and some bathroom essentials. You debated on whether or not to take with you a picture of you, Calum and Duke… it was your favorite memory with them. But the damage was stronger than the nostalgia, so you threw that picture to the ground before you left the room that once belonged to you.

You were running down the stairs when you passed Calum running up them. You ignored him as he stopped in his tracks and followed you to the hall.

“Y/N!” He said, desperate to try and stop you “Y/N, baby, please! Hear me out!”

“Hear what?! I already heard enough!” You said as you turned around.

Calum’s face was almost unrecognizable. The fear in his eyes, the desperation in his voice and his close off body language was not something you’d normally see in him. The “I fucked up” expression showed all the regret in the world, yet you didn’t seem to care at the moment.

“I. Heard. All of it, Calum” You cried through gritted teeth, anger boiling inside of you as you stared at the man you thought you’d marry “All of it and not once did I hear you say something to try and defend me. How do you think that made me feel?!”

“Baby-“ He tried, but you cut him off.

“I work my ass off all day and night for you, for us. For me to go and see you on tour like you ask me to, knowing damn well I would go to the ends of this fucking earth for you! Catching up extra classes and shifts so I can go with you. I cancel everything to be with you. I gave up everything for us to be together. I barely even have time for myself as I try my best to be something worthy of you!” Your tears were staining your face, but you pushed away the pain for a moment, knowing that once you break down it’s over “I try my best to be a good girlfriend, a good friend! I loved you with all my heart and this is what I get after almost three years? A good fuck? That 's it?”

Calum’s world fell to the floor as he tried hard to fight off the lump in his throat, whispering in a broken voice “Loved?”

“That’s all you get from it?” You ask defeated “Calum I would’ve never let my friends call you names, insult you or offend you in any way. I would’ve gone to the ends of the world for you, defended you till the day I die. All because I trusted you to do the same for me and you failed me, Calum. You broke me. You let him call me a bitch, a stuck up, worthless, stupid, bossy, annoying… should I go on? Cause those words are now printed in my memory, next to you agreeing to all of those things. Is that what you think of me?”

“Baby, I swear it’s not like that!” He said, grabbing your hand and trying to make you stay “I fucked up! I know! You are right, I failed you and you don’t know how much I hate myself for it! But please, love. You know I could never think of you like that… you are the most wonderful person there is! You are kind, smart, loving, beautiful-“

“Did you cheat on me?” You ask bluntly.

“What?”

“Did you cheat on me?”

“No!” Calum said instantly “No, I would never!”

You nodded “Yet, you thought of it.”

Calum opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off again “Is that why you never made our relationship public? So you could have a free pass whenever you want to? Cause I thought it was to protect our privacy, for us to have a normal life in the midst of the chaos that is to date a celebrity. When you told all of that I thought “wow, this is a guy with integrity and with values” Yet I don’t know what to believe now. I thought you loved me-“

“I do love you-“

“I thought you loved me” You said, the tears were already dry as the anger came flooding in “But you don’t hurt the people you love. You don’t break them like you did to me. You don’t let anyone hurt them, even if they are not in the room with you. And you don’t cheat on them like you were going to tonight with that girl Vanessa while I waited here like an idiot for you to come home and spend some time with me”

You pull your hand out of his grasp, holding onto your bag as you heard Calum cry “Y/N-“

“You are free to do whatever you want now, Calum. Cause to the eyes of your fans you are single, and I am as well”

You turned around and saw Ashton waiting by the door with his keys in his hand. He opened up the door for you as you walked by, ignoring all of Calum’s pleads for you to stay.

“So you are just going to leave?!” He yelled, not knowing what else to do. “Whe- Where are you taking her Ashton?”

The black haired man made sure that you were already sitting in his car before turning around to face his friend “I’m taking here with me and away from you cause that’s what she needs now. So don’t bother calling or showing up cause you are not welcome right now. And don’t even try to call Luke or Michael cause they already know and we won’t support you on this” Ashton said as calm as he could. He already told him off, but the anger of seeing you cry in front of him still resided in him.

“I- I love her , Ash! You can’t just take her away from me. I’m her boyfriend!”

“Correction, you were her boyfriend. And I can take her away and I will cause she asked me to” He said taking an intimidating step closer to Calum “Cause while you were here talking trash about her behind her back, planning on how to cheat on her. I was back there, holding her while she broke down crying cause she couldn’t believe that her boyfriend didn’t stand up for her and let a fucking stranger insult her all night long! You weren’t there to see her eyes water or her lip tremble. You weren’t there when she begged me with tears in her eyes to not make a scene cause all she wanted to do was to get out of here. She is the most amazing person ever, she is a light in all of our lives and you extinguished her without a second thought. You might be my friend, but she is too and I love her and I will defend her no matter what, she doesn’t deserve this kind of crap you just showed to her. So don’t count on me to try and help you get her back, I won’t blame her if she doesn’t”

Calum felt small as Ashton walked away from him, closing the door with a bang and leaving him all alone in his big house. Well, almost.

“Dude, that was intense” Mitchy laughed as he placed a hand on Calum’s shoulder “So, wanna go now?”

A blind rage fell over Calum as he heard the mocking laughs of his so-called friend, acting like his life just didn’t fall apart in front of him.

Calum grabbed the singer by the neck of his shirt and pushed him forcefully against the wall “You are going to get out of my house and never come back. You hear me?!” He yelled to his face, almost letting out steam from his nostrils as he was sure he could kill him right now.

“Dude, what’s wrong with yo-“

Calum quickly grabbed a bottle from his nearby mini bar, suddenly gaining all the courage he should’ve had hours ago, and throwed it to Mitchy’s feet, making him jump “Get the fuck out!” He yelled, grabbing bottle after bottle, glass after glass and throwing them into the ground “OUT!”

Only when the last bottle was smashed into pieces did he realize he was completely alone.

And only then did he allow himself to cry for the loss of the love of his life, walking away from him and leaving him to pick up the pieces of two broken hearts.

part 2

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @mystic-232

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buckys-black-dress · 3 years

Text

stargazing (bucky barnes x fem!reader)

a/n: so this idea totally just came to me because this trope is honestly so cute and i love these and i need to get this out of my system. i listened to stargazing by the neighborhood while writing this and i LOVE this song, so i’d recommend listening while reading! (just listen to the whole album).

also-- happy new year! 2020 quite literally fucked us up but im so grateful this year was the one where i decided to come on here and share my work with yall. i love every single one of my readers, so THANK YOU! anyways, without further ado...

enjoy my dearies!!! -ali

wc: 2.8k

When you first became best friends with Rebecca Barnes in preschool, the last place you’d expected to end up was with a massive crush on her older brother.

James, or Bucky, as he likes to be called my his close friends, was basically the perfect guy for you. He was kind, witty, and didn’t treat you like a child. (Anymore).

Now that you had graduated high school and were in you first year of college, Bucky was in his second year. And things were getting rough.

You were a Cognitive Psychology major, and your main interest was in becoming an occupational therapist. You were attending Columbia University.

And of course, so was Bucky, studying English Literature. Rebecca was studying at FIT, her main interest being in fashion design. All three of you couldn’t bear to leave New York City, so you all decided to stay nearby.

Since all three of you were in the same area, more or less, you three remained close and tight-knit. Since you were still a freshman, you decided to dorm on campus, while Rebecca and Bucky did the same. Bucky was in a fraternity, so he had a place in the house, and you often found yourself hanging out in his room, having been introduced to most of his brothers.

Like today, it was Thursday night, and your classes were cancelled for tomorrow. You were in no rush to get back to your room, and your roommate was also out at her boyfriend’s. Rebecca thought you were finishing up an essay, though.

“Y/N, you’re crashing here tonight?” Bucky’s voice caused his chest to rumble under your place on it.

“Yeah, is that alright?” You asked, looking up at him.

“Of course, Y/N/N.” He smiled back down at you, trying to ignore the fluttering in his chest at your doe eyes.

She’s your sister’s best friend. Becca would hate you.

“I’m gonna wash up before I fall asleep, Buck.” You said with a yawn, lifting yourself off of Bucky’s warm, comfortable bed.

Bucky watched your form disappear out of his room to the bathroom next door, his chest deflating with a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

I’m so fucked.

Making your short walk to the bathroom, your mind was filled with thoughts, and you really didn’t know what to do in this current situation.

You and Becca had been best friends since you were both in preschool.

And now you were pretty certain that you had the biggest crush known to humankind on her older brother.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror as you pat your face dry, you wondered what would happen if this went further.

What would happen if you told Bucky that you liked him?

What would Becca do if she knew you liked her brother?

Shaking your head at yourself, you knew you couldn’t do that to Becca. She’s been there for you through everything that’s happened to you. To just turn around and tell her that you’ve fallen for her brother- you don’t know if that would be the right thing to do.

But how could you just outwardly deny your feelings for Bucky?

A knock on the bathroom door drew you out of your thoughts, letting whoever was knocking know that they could come in.

“Hey, Y/N, how ya been?” It was one of Bucky’s closest friends whom you also knew growing up, Steve Rogers.

“Hey Steve, I’m good. How ‘bout you?” You asked, getting ready to head back to Bucky’s room.

“Good, good, y’know, Peg’s keepin’ me on my toes.” He flashed you a smile, a blush creeping up on his face at the mention of his girlfriend.

“Aw, Stevie’s in loooove,” You sing-songed, pinching his cheek.

“Well, I think I could say the same for you, Y/N/N.” Steve scoffed back in retort, but your breath hitched at the words.

“Shut up, Steve...” You mumbled, twiddling your fingers.

“Y/N, I’m serious... You and Buck ‘ve been spending a lot of time together and I can tell. He’s my best friend, and I know when my best friend is taken for someone. Trust me, Y/N, your feelings aren’t one-sided.” And with that, he steps into the bathroom, leaving you reeling at his words.

Lost in your thought again, you walked back to Bucky’s room. You tucked yourself under his warm duvet, as you fell into a deep slumber with his arm wrapped around your waist, thinking about the weight of it around you as you fell asleep.

The next morning was... quiet... to say the least. After your encounter with Steve in the bathroom, you really didn’t know how to feel about your feelings towards Bucky. He felt the tenseness that was rolling off of you in waves, making him wonder if he did something to make you upset.

Bucky wondered if he was doing too much, wondering if he had caused you to be uncomfortable with him for some reason.

So naturally, he pulled back.

As the days went on and got colder, you found yourself spending more time in your dorm, or places that weren’t associated with Bucky in your mind.

And it was safe to say the both of you were losing it.

Bucky was slowly losing his composure, where he would participate the most in his seminar classes, he was quiet and folded in on himself, losing his confidence.

Where you were the most outspoken on certain topics in your classes, you became a bit of a hermit.

And almost everyone noticed.

Most notably, Becca and Steve.

When you returned from class at the end of a long week without Bucky, you invited Becca over to have take out in your room.

“So, how’s your week been?” She asks, reaching into your takeout box and grabbing a piece of garlic honey chicken.

Rolling your eyes, you say “Fine, same old. You? How’d that design project go?”

“It was awesome! My professor really loved my piece, she said it was one of the ‘most original takes’ on this project she’s seen!” Becca was ecstatic and you were so proud of her.

“That’s so awesome, Bec! One day you’re gonna have to make me something that I can wear, and when someone asks me where I got it, I’ll just say, ‘oh, sorry my best friend made it, you’ll have to wait ‘til it hits the runways to buy it.’” You laugh, pointing your chopsticks at her.

“Y/N, stop, you flatterer.” She smirked, looking back down at her food. “Hey, I’ve also been meaning to ask... have you noticed Bucky acting weird as of late, or anything? Is it just me or is he like... way more quiet than usual?” Becca asked inquisitively.

“Oh- uh, I actually have no idea. I haven’t really seen him that much this week. Just around campus here and there.” You shrug your shoulders, the pit in your stomach nagging at you.

“Really? You guys usually hang out more often...” She responds, and your face burns in embarrassment.

“Wh- How do you know how often your brother and I hang out?” Your voice didn’t even feel like your own as you spoke, quickly occupying it with food.

“Well, he does live with Steve... Apparently you’re around there pretty often.” Rebecca eyes you, seeing your body language and how uncomfortable you seem. “Y/N... If you like my brother, that’s okay. I think you guys would be cute together. And I can tell you like him, so don’t try to deny it.” Becca smiles, reaching to rest a hand on yours in comfort.

“Wh- You don’t care?” You ask in confusion, expecting a bit of a more dramatic reaction.

“Of course I care, I care about my two favorite people being happy. And if they’re happy together, then that’s even better!” She explains, and your head spins.

“I- I’m telling you this in confidence, Becca. You can’t tell anyone, not Steve, not Peggy, and absolutely not Bucky...” She nods, moving closer to you. “I...I do like Bucky. A lot. But I don’t think he likes me that way. I mean, just look at his exes. I’m not like Natasha, or those gorgeous girls. And what if he just sees me as his friend. Like a little sister?” You finish, your hands flailing around and out of breath.

“Y/N... I know my brother, but I can’t read his mind. If I had to take a wild guess... I’d say he likes you too. Based on what Steve tells me, based on how Bucky acts when you come up in conversation... his eyes light up, dude. I think you need to talk to him, face to face.” Rebecca explains, giving her best advice. “You both deserve to be happy, and I think you could both give that to each other.” She softly smiles.

“Thanks, Becca. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You laugh, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’ll talk to him.”

In the frat house across the campus, Steve and Bucky were sitting in the living room amongst some of their other brothers.

“Buck, what’s been up with you this week?” Tony, a senior and president of the frat asks from the kitchen.

“Hm?” Bucky looks up, confused at the question.

“You’ve been... off all week long.” Sam chimes in from next to him on the couch, eyes leaving the football match on the TV.

“I’m fine, why?” Bucky deflects, taking a sip of his drink in hand.

“Whatever you say, but I have a feeling this has to do with Y/N... haven’t seen her around here at all this week.” Tony points out, plopping down on a futon.

Steve’s eyes widened, looking down at his phone that he’s been on all night.

Little did Bucky know, Rebecca was feeding him information about you to him directly, trying to make sense of his friend’s odd behavior this week.

His eyes shot to Bucky’s, trying to gauge his reaction to Tony’s mention of you.

“Yeah, she’s been.... busy, I guess. Haven’t really talked to her.” Bucky says nonchalantly.

“Why not? You two are basically attached at the hip... like, Friday nights are usually your thing together. I thought you’d man up and ask her out already.” Sam’s response caused a stillness in the room, everyone looking at Bucky for his next move.

But it was quiet.

“She’s... she’s my sister’s best friend... I don’t think Becca would appreciate me taking her best friend out to dinner.” Bucky said in a low voice, clearing his throat.

“Have you asked her how she feels about it?” Thor asks from his spot on the other couch. “Maybe she’s fine with it, she doesn’t seem to be too stuck up...” He suggests.

“My sister isn’t stuck up, man. Watch it.” He responds defensively.

“I wasn’t saying that! But you should talk to her about it, that’s all I’m saying!” Thor fights back.

“I just- I don’t know, last week when Y/N was here, she went to the bathroom to wash up at night, and when she came back she was acting totally different. She’s usually comfortable around me, but she was acting like... like she was uncomfortable around me. I thought I did something to make her feel that way, so I kinda backed off this week.” Bucky explains, trying to understand what went wrong.

“Well, did she say anything? Did she try to reach out this week?” Tony asks.

“I mean, she texted me a few times, but it was casual conversation. I can’t tell how she’s feeling. I like her, but I don’t want to make things weird for her and Becca, or Becca and I.”

And this is where Steve chimes in.

“I mean, come on Buck, it’s obvious she likes you too. I think you need to talk to her, because Becca wants you two to be happy. I don’t think she’d care that much, y’know?”

“But what if I make things awkward? Like, what if I read the signals wrong this whole time, and she doesn’t even really like me?” Bucky was now going into a deep spiral, and Steve needed to pull him out, fast.

“Buck, I don’t think so. You should talk to her, face to face.” Steve encouraged.

“You think so?” Bucky wasn’t so convinced.

“Yes!” A chorus of voices echoed in the house, causing Bucky to jump to his feet, ready to confront this head-on.

“Okay, yeah, yes, I’m gonna tell her how I feel. I got this, I’ll be fine-” But his pumping-up session was cut short from the doorbell ringing through the house.

Steve got up, “I got it.” He simply said, smirking mischievously as he turned to face the door and twisted the knob.

And of course, it was none other than you.

“Hey Buck? I think it’s for you!” Steve yells from the doorway, stepping out of the way and directing everyone in the living room to hide out of sight. Of course, they were all still eavesdropping and lurking about.

“Doll, what’re ya doin’ here?” Bucky was beyond confused, you timing was impeccable.

“I-I have some things I wanna talk about. I just, I think we need to talk.” You say, looking up at him.

“Y-Yeah, come inside, it’s freezing out. What’s up, doll?” He asks, pulling you into the house and into the living room, sitting down next to you on a couch, making sure to face you.

“Everything’s alright... but I need to get this off my chest before I go crazy-” You stop yourself from rambling further. “I was having dinner with Becca earlier, and we... talked... about some things. And apparently, someone was telling her about all the time we spend together.” Bucky was listening, but cursing Steve in his head, knowing he was behind it.

“And I know last week I was acting weird, but I promise, it wasn’t because of something you did. Well, it kinda was, b-but not something bad, y’know?” You explain, trying to get Bucky to understand how you feel.

“Whaddaya mean, doll? If I did something, tell me, because I would never want to hurt you-” He started, trying to pinpoint his actions.

“You made me like you! There, you happy?” You exclaim, hands covering your cherry red face. “I said it! I like you. And I totally understand if you don’t feel the same way, I’m just your little sister’s annoying friend, I get it-”

But instead of the feeling of rejection, you were met with Bucky’s lips on yours, his hands cupping your cheeks.

Bucky was kissing you.

Bucky was kissing you!

Holy fuck!

What. The. Fuck.

But before you could overthink anything, you heard loud whoops and cheers coming from all around you.

“What the hell? Steve?” You asked, looking around, trying to process the last minute.

“Finally! Took ya two idiots long enough! God, Becca and I didn’t know how much longer we’d have to be your freakin’ puppet masters.” He laughed from his spot in the kitchen.

“Come on doll, let’s go upstairs to talk, where we could have some privacy...” Bucky said pointedly, looking at his brothers as they kept cheering as you two made your way up the stairs.

Once the door closed behind you two, you were quite literally speechless.

“You kissed me.” You pointed out the obvious, since your mind was still reeling.

“I did.” Bucky simply answers.

“...Why?” You ask, like an idiot.

“Because, for the past three years I’ve had the biggest crush known to man on you... and I knew if I didn’t kiss you then, I never would. Kind of a life or death situation here, doll.” He jokes trying to gauge your mood.

“Bucky...” You sighed, walking closer to him, holding his face, “you can kiss me whenever you want.” And punctuated your sentence with a kiss.

“Well... then... can I call you my girlfriend?” He asks, looking into your twinkling eyes. Bucky’s large hands cover your waist, pulling you closer against him.

“Yeah... I think you can.” You answer, the sparkle never leaving your eyes.

“Hmmm... finally.” Bucky hums, closing the gap between your lips over and over again.

Your loud giggle fills the room as Bucky peppers kisses all over your face, trying to make up for lost time.

“Hey, make sure to use protection, kids!” someone’s voice comes from down the hall from’s Bucky’s room.

“Shut up, Sam!” You both yell in unison, resuming your previous activities.

And in this moment, there’s nowhere else either of you would rather be.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #frat!Bucky #frat!au #college!bucky x reader #college au #college!Bucky #frat!bucky x reader #bucky x reader #brother's best friend!bucky #brother's best friend #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader one shot #bucky barnes imagine

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delu-jean · 3 years

Text

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧: 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

(Jean x fem!/reader) -> Angst -> 4.7k

Notes: Sorry for updating a lot later than expected! Here’s chapter eleven, and twelve will be out as soon as I write it. Hope you enjoy!

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

During the night, you had no dreams or nightmares. It was simply peaceful, calming, and warm. Having him beside you (though he was on the floor) gave you the utmost comfort. He was really here with you, resting to the side, while you did the same. Such a feeling that was yearned for, had finally found its way back to you. The first night in what seemed like forever where you actually slept through calmly.

You woke up the next day to see the sun peer in. Through the crack of your blinds, highlighting the walls of your cozy room. The birds, though silent, remained present as the wind rustled quietly. Jean lay on the floor. His hand still clung onto yours from the night before. His grip felt secure and gentle when holding yours. His hair laced over the pillows, as his body was barely covered by the sheets. Only now did you realize how much of a mover he was. Though that was the case, he still miraculously held you through the night. Without causing any discomfort whatsoever.

You wanted to sit in this moment for a tad longer, but knew you would have to ready you both for the day ahead. You tried to slip out of his hand, but to your failed attempt, he gripped even tighter. He really wasn’t going to make this easy. You tried yet again, using your other hand to assist. Regardless, his one hand and few fingers kept you grounded. You thought that was the end of things, but he then pulled you in. Locking you in a tight embrace. You shook your head, both flustered and disappointed. You needed to get away from him, yet here he was, keeping you captive.

“Jean...Jean I need to get up-”

“Not again...no...never,” he mumbled.

It seemed as if he was sleep talking. If he was conscious, he probably would’ve laughed at you by now. You were sad to hear such words. He had gone through so much trauma to the point he couldn’t let go of you.

“I’m not leaving...not yet at least...so Jean, don’t worry and please let me go,” you cupped his cheek as it sank into your touch. His head now leaning towards you, and his face at a closer range. Smiling at the reaction, you then heard a knock coming from outside.

“Hm...I have to go now,” he seemed less tense than earlier. It must’ve been because of your words since he actually let you go. You got up, put yourself in a cardigan, and quickly tied your hair. Maybe this time it was actually Reiner, for goodness sake you would now need to leave a candle there. Just in case next time, it’s a crazy psycho and not Jean.

You opened the door, ready to attack if it was anyone threatening. Though hesitant, you let your guard down, opening the door even wider.

“Ah Y/n! Long time no see,” you stared at the woman, flowers in one hand, while treats in the other.

“Alexandra, what are you doing here?” you smiled shocked.

Alexandra was also a person from the military. An Eldian soldier who commanded her own squad. Though your rank was a tad higher than her’s, she was never too far from you. You both conversed here and there. Though you weren’t as close to her as you were with the warrior unit, you were both mutually acquainted. Enjoying each other’s company from time to time.

“I just came to drop by. If you’re busy, I can come sometime later today,” you didn’t want to be rude and reject her. Even though Jean was over, you assumed that if he had heard someone else (other than you) in the house, that he would keep quiet.

“No no no, I insist. Come in, I’m free,” you led her inside for her to then place the gifts on the table. Now that you thought about it, this was the second time she had been to your house. That being said, you were surprised she still had this place memorized. Not only that, but you were surprised she had come out of the blue. Did she have something important to share, what drove her to come?

“Curious are we?” she laughed as your eyes widened, embarrassed.

“Of course not-”

“Haha, you’re not a very good liar Y/n~”

“I guess you’re right about that,” you grinned as you started to prepare tea. She was just such a lady, and plus, tea complimented any situation. So why not make some now?

“Hm lovely. Earl Grey if I’m correct?”

“Haha, yes you are,” you then placed a cup down. Pouring the tea as she patiently waited. Crossing her legs and setting the treats she brought across the table.

“I’m sorry I’ve come so early in the morning, it’s just that my squad is going to be shipped out sometime tomorrow...so I wanted to say my goodbyes before then.”

“What do you mean? I know you’ll come back,” you smiled as she followed hesitantly.

“Yeah...of course I will,” you then set the teapot down, as she took a sip.

“Hey so...I heard that someone might be getting married,” you start to drink your tea, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Who?”

“Who else but you,” you choked on the beverage, wondering as to how she would know such a thing. You then tried to play things cool, hoping the subject would slowly avert.

“I’m still not understanding?-”

“You and Reiner silly. It’s been going around everywhere...didn’t you know?”

“No...I...I didn’t know that others knew?...”

“Ahh I see. Well, from what I know, the town seems content with such a proposal. The ladies have been talking about what kind of future you both might have, even with the limited time. Not only that, but Reiner’s mother seems ecstatic with both the arrangements, and attention being given,” you then bite down on your tongue. Never would you have thought things would escalate so quickly. Rumors that weren’t even confirmed, yet spread like wildfire. She then placed her cup down, grabbing one of the deserts to munch, and then covered her mouth. She spoke, trying to keep her manners while also enjoying the treat.

“So, have you prepared a wedding dress, did he give you a ring yet, or are you both going to wait for the day of?”

“No...I haven’t been given a ring, nor have I gotten anything.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah…”

“Hm...well okay. Let me ask you a different question.”

“Of course, whenever you’re ready,” she then finished, and took a sip. Eyeing you as you sat uncomfortable, not sure what her next approach would be.

“You do like him, don’t you?”

“Um...well...I...I would say-”

“You know, I’ve always thought the both of you were...how do I say it, cute. Very cute actually.”

“I’m sorry, what?” you laughed a little, thinking she was being sarcastic. Whereas she was being quite serious.

“You two have always seemed so close. You both respect each other, take the time to have one on ones, you also put in the effort to see each other’s families, and just...so much more. You’ve always seemed like a couple, or, couple goals to say the least. Not only that, but you seem to genuinely care for each other. You give words of affirmation, and he gives you acts of genuine affection.”

“How would you know such a thing?” your brow cocked as she sighed.

“My dear, it’s called observation. Speaking of observing, you can’t deny that Reiner is very attractive.”

“I-”

“I mean, he’s a total catch. He’s a very good looking gentleman. One that actually takes care of his hygiene. He’s presentable most of the time, and treats you like the lady you are. Giving you the respect which you deserve. Very attractive in my opinion. Chivalrous, yet understanding of a lady’s worth.”

“I agree with that,” though your feelings for Reiner were platonic, what she stated was...somewhat true. Just disclude the whole “wanting to kill you,” along with the “using you as a way to cope,” and vice versa.

“So you do like him?” she asked as you sat there, not sure about what your response would be.

“Well…” a question then sprung in your head. You put your cup down, to then eye her yourself as she locked her gaze. Awaiting for whatever your answer would be.

“Alexandra what if...what if there was someone else?”

“Someone better looking than Reiner?”

“I...I guess so,” you chuckled as she stared at you in shock.

“No way...did you get with Porco? Wow...you surprise me the more I get to know you-”

“Wait a minute, you think Porco is more charming than Reiner?” You cut her midway through, baffled to say the least. Now you were the person in shock as she smiled cockishly. Proud of such a statement.

“Well...yes...yes I do,” she said shamelessly as you now laughed.

“Wait, but why? I’m genuinely curious,” you said, obviously having a different opinion.

“First of all, his undercut is both sharp and clean. Not only that, but the dirty blonde really suits him. His build is nice, along with the fashion he portrays. Though not too out of the ordinary, you can tell he puts in the effort to look his best.

The energy he gives off is adventurous, dark, and mysterious, you know? But at the same time, he also seems like a gentleman. One who’s misunderstood, yet has a soft interior. His eyes seem to hide an excruciating pain, yet his smile is one full of brightness, and laughter,” you were surprised about how philosophical, and passionate she was when describing Porco...Porco of all people. No offense to him, but you would never see him in such light.

Regardless, she seemed proud to say such a statement, as she then asked you:

“And you? Just what about Reiner intrigues you? I understand for some reasons, but more than Porco?” you nodded to then state:

“I can’t guarantee my description will be a full fledged english essay. But oh well, here it goes,” she listened intrigued, ready to hear your rebuttal.

“Well, he does have a beard. Though Zeke’s is fuller, Reiner’s compliments his face structure. He has a very um...broad build, the blonde suits him well, and over all, is a very sweet person. Compared to Porco, I would say he has a much more timid nature. Don’t get me wrong, he can speak his mind, but is a little more sensitive when doing so. That being the case, I feel as if he’s more relatable. Though, I may be saying this because I’ve known him for longer, outside of Marely of course, I just think he’s the better option-”

“The better option, so he is an option. Meaning that you feel attracted to him. Leading to the conclusion that you like him,” she grinned maliciously as you panicked.

“Um well...I wouldn’t say that…”

“Interesting...but my point still stands haha. If you ever need someone to help you prepare for the occasion...if I come back...I’ll be sure to aid you.”

“Of course,” she then stood up, placing the flowers in a vase. Grabbing her bag, her coat, her hat, standing before you.

“But before I go, just who is this other person?...Are you really seeing someone?”

“I…” you weren’t sure what to say to her, as the hesitation rang in your voice.

“No...I just wanted to know what your thoughts would be,” You know you should have told her yes, but you just couldn’t. You didn’t want to add any more fuel to the fire, and if you couldn’t even tell the warriors, telling someone else shouldn’t have been an option.

“I see, well...farewell Y/n. Let us meet again, and if not here...somewhere else…”

“Yes, of course,” you smiled happily as the door then shut.

You were glad that one, she came to visit you, and two, that things were now over. You sat in your seat, stretching out your arms to hear another knock. Except this time, it was coming from behind you. Your head then flung backwards, your smile growing even wider as your chair tilted.

“Good morning handsome~”

“Good morning beautiful, how are you?”

“Greater than ever, how about you? Did you sleep well?”

“Magnificent. Also yeah, I did sleep well...surprisingly,” you both laughed a little, as you then got up, placing breakfast for the both of you. Though a little full from the meeting before, you still wanted to enjoy a meal with Jean. After all, it had been so long since the last time you did. And plus, that was during your time as a cadet. You weren’t able to enjoy such a feast in the morning.

You both ate in silence. Both of you trying to enjoy the food, and each other’s company. Letting the peace around settle in. Once you had finished both eating, and cleaning up after yourselves, you then decided to speak, asking:

“Did you hear the conversation I had earlier? I’m assuming you probably woke up because of it,” you didn’t ask how much he heard. You instead wanted to see how much he did hear from the man himself. He put the cloth he was holding down. Similar to you, he wanted to see if you’d tell him anything from the conversation. So he asked:

“Was there anything important I should be informed about regarding it?”

“No…” you lied guiltily, but you didn’t know how to handle it otherwise. He then decided to hint you with what he knew, by saying:

“Hm...Is Reiner really your type? Do I have to buff it up, go blonde, and grow a stache?” he then touched his face as you laughed. Both out of silliness, and nervousness. You felt worried knowing he heard that much of your conversation. Meaning, he knew you hadn’t denied Alexandra even once.

“Haha no! I love you just the way you areeee!”

He then looked at the ground, leading him to stand up.

“If that’s the case,” he leaned against the wall, staring at you intensely.

“No? Y/n, why did you say no?” you sighed in defeat, seeing that he most definitely was on your tail.

“I can’t tell her I’m dating a ‘devil’ from Paradis,” you said, trying to make an excuse.

“You wouldn’t have needed to tell her that...just saying yes should’ve been a good enough answer. You didn’t have to say no.”

“I know…”

“Then why did you?..”

“I just...I’m not even sure myself-”

“About this...us?...” he stopped himself while clenching his fist. Though he was annoyed, he didn’t want to push that onto you. He knew you cared about your relationship, and plus, it sounded petty for him to say.

“Never mind...it’s not a big deal.”

“I see…” you agreed, still feeling guilty as he then asked:

“You’re not planning on marrying him...right?”

“Hm,” you think to yourself. Though your mind had run blank, he certainly did not as it ran with rage. Seeing you hesitate when the answer should have been obvious. He just couldn’t handle it, along with his sense of inferiority. Though he had matured, there were still times where acted otherwise. This being one of them.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say no, almost immediately-”

“You know I won’t Jean…”

“Then why didn’t you tell off your friend? You didn’t deny the proposal, or your affection for him.”

Jean wasn’t jealous, rather, frustrated. Frustrated that you weren’t using your words (yet again), nor telling him any of your thoughts. It's like watching a movie with no audio, he wasn’t able to understand your actions even when seeing them. Without any coordination, communication would never reach his side of the spectrum.

He scrunched his eyebrows, and pinched the bridge between them. Though that was the case, he was trying to be patient with you. After all, this was something new and he didn’t want you to feel pressured. Nor did he want you to feel like it was completely your fault. Even if it was, he wouldn’t have known unless you told him so.

“Look Y/n...I really don’t want to fight, especially over something like this. But in order for me to understand things, even if it does hurt my feelings, I need to understand your thought process. That way, I’m able to clear up any misunderstandings. You tend to keep your mouth shut, and that’s not something that we need as of right now. You know how I feel, now it’s your turn,” you were still hesitant, feeling pressured as he approached you. He looked into your eyes. His stare was desperate, yet understanding. Patting your head as you gazed upwards.

“I’m sorry for acting like that...but you know...your actions do hurt me, especially when I don’t know where you’re coming from. So can you please...try to explain?” he pouted as you sighed, ready to convey how you felt. He seemed excited seeing that you were somewhat ready, feeling like a proud father...which was something he didn’t feel often (having both Connie and Sasha). It was a weird metaphor, but the only one which could describe the moment.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell her. Although I do trust her, it could get out. You never know. Plus, I didn’t want to deny the proposal yet. I still need to talk things out with Reiner, and his mother” he seemed a bit disappointed, leading you to then hug him.

“But I can promise you, it’s something that won’t happen. I love you, and you alone,” he then wrapped his arms around, returning the favour. Him hovering over your top half, as you hugged his torso, still in your seat.

“I see...thanks for that but...I think I’ll still go blonde-”

“NO! I like your brown hair, it’s cute!”

“Cute eh? I guess I’ll keep it then,” Him then smirking at the ego boost, as you sat flushed.

“I love your hair as well.”

---

After breakfast, you both decided to make plans. Heading out for a walk in the park, wanting to spend more time together. If anything, you could conclude it as being a date. You went out for lunch, and strolled together while conversing. Though walking was a great thing, so was sitting. That being the case, you both sat on a bench. Hands intertwined, feet swinging, and him calmly humming. Moments had passed in such comfort for him to ask:

“What’s happened in your life? Well, other than becoming part of the military, and all of the boring stuff.”

“Nothing much, how about you? What’s been happening in yours?”

“Ah...I can’t say too much about that,” he nervously said, as you backed off, understanding it wasn’t something to be said aloud. You both then sat awkwardly, only for you to ask something that you had been curious about.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened? After I left...the truth if possible,” you knew Jean was a truthful person, you trusted him, but you also knew he would sugar coat things to make you feel better. That being the case, you wanted honesty. No matter what. Afterall, you deserved to hear such criticism if needed. It was the least you could do to attone.

“I guess I’ll start off lightly. Um...we did find the cellar, the one which Eren’s father resided in. We also took back Shiganshina, though now mainly used for military purposes...I think. Not only that, but your horse has been doing fine.”

“Violet? How about Buchwald?”

“Yeah, him too. They’re pretty good friends in my opinion,” he looked at you to see that you weren’t content. It seemed as if you wanted to know more, rather than being shielded by the lightness in his words. Since you could make your own decisions, so could he. Deciding that he would tell you instead of keeping you from things. Things that you honestly...deserved to know.

“After you died...I barely slept. I couldn’t eat, train, or even walk for that matter. I was pretty malnourished during that time, refusing to have a meal. I did that feeling guilty that you couldn’t have it with me. You passed and yet I still lived?...it didn’t seem fair no matter what was said. I was pretty grumpy as well. Angry, sad, and confused. Not knowing what to do.

When Marco died, instead of mourning, I instead used it as a way to motivate me. To push myself even further for humanity, so that his death wouldn’t go in vain. But with your death...I couldn’t even. It was too painful to even bring up. Thinking of it as my motivation, seemed both coward like, and sickening.

Everyone else was pretty moody as well. Not sure how to approach such rogue behaviour from me, nor how to accept your death. Even though I made the biggest ordeal, they still mourned. However, even though that was the case, what matters is that you’re alive now. We’ve also talked things through, and now I’m here...with you,” he grasped your hand, smiling softly. The guilt that now built in your stomach, remind you of the pain you put him through. Not only that, but the anguish which held him captive for so many years. Though you put him in such a position...he was still willing to forgive you?

You stared at him. His eyes broken, yet also...in the process of healing. Although you couldn’t change the past, maybe you could alter the present, concluding in a better future for you both. You smiled as his thumb caressed your knuckles, loving the warmth. You sat there for a second, to then ask:

“Tell me...is Berthold alive?...in Paradis?” he then stopped, as he looked at the ground. You understood the answer, based on the actions given.

“How did he die?”

“Armin...ate him-”

“What? That’s only possible if-”

“We had spinal fluid? I know,” you sat there spooked. Just now finding out Paradis had such information, climbing up the latter as you spoke. They’d probably catch up to your wits eventually. Though that was the case, and you could have worried even more, you decided against it. Knowing this wasn’t the time to.

Instead, you decided to focus on Bertholdt. He was really gone...though you assumed it would have been better than being held captive, it still hurt. He must have felt so much pain going through that. Not only did he get eaten, but he was alone. None of you were there to help, nor witness such a sight. It saddened you as your eyes teared. The sweetest person, the only person who didn’t want to fight, was finally taken out of it in such a brutal way.

Jean saw the distress that struck across you, as he then wiped your tears. Trying to console you the best way he could. He knew what it felt like to lose a friend, heck he even thought he lost you. It was a process that hurt a lot...but one that would come to pass.

“What about everyone else?...”

“Hm...everyone is fine...especially Sasha and Connie. Those two are still as lively as ever,” he smiled as you followed suit.

“I’m glad they’re still the hooligans they were.”

“Yeah…me too.”

“How did you get here?...and why are you here?” you asked, genuinely wanting to know.

“Shh...it’s a secret,” he joked, obviously trying to avoid the question. After he answered, you could feel the tension in the air. One not wanting to tell the other everything just yet. You both trusted each other...yet felt as if your intentions...were something to keep behind closed doors…. For now at least.

Jean then sighed, gripping onto your hand even tighter. He, along with you, tried breaking the ice. Him with his actions, and you with your words. Though it felt a little awkward, you still wanted to carry out your conversation.

“You know, even though I tried pushing things aside...after leaving...I could never get over the departure. Separating from you, our comrades, and the place that made me feel...happy...normal...and well...loved,” grinning he then draped his arm over you. Your hand then grabbed his which lay on your chest, both intertwining whilst you both were even closer.

“Also...I’m surprised you didn’t move on. Especially after all of that time,” his expression then changed into a curious one.

“What do you mean?”

“Well...you thought I died. Not only that, but you're quite the ladies man. So I wouldn’t see you having much to...any difficulty actually.”

“I could never Y/n...though it sounds childish, you were my first love. I couldn’t imagine leaving you for someone else, even if you had passed. I would’ve died an old stallion,” he dramatically said as you burst out laughing. He loved seeing the face you’d make when you were happy. How lovely the corner of your lips would lift, the way your eyes crinkled, as your brows lifted the slightest bit. He was glad he could see such a sight, and that he was the cause behind it.

“Who said you won't, ya horse!”

“HEY! I’M NOT ONE!” laughter continued to fill the atmosphere. Both you and him adding your humor to the mood. Laying your head on his chest, and moving in closer.

“You know, if we ever do part ways...don’t feel bad, okay?” you stated.

“What do you mean?”

“It can apply to anything but...I mean death to be more specific. You never know what will happen in the midst of battle.”

“Hm...I guess so”

“But, the guilt will live with me forever. No matter what because...I just love you that much,” you smile to yourself and nod.

“I too, love you just as much...Jean. And I always will.”

---

While you two were enjoying your moment, being yourselves, cherishing each other’s presence, Zeke was not having any of it. He didn’t hate the sight of you being with someone else, it was just that...he thought your priorities lay elsewhere. Both in loyalty, and worth ethically. That being the case, he decided to do the only logical thing. Crash. The. Party.

So, he crept behind the both of you, clawed his hands, and placed them on your shoulders screaming:

“BOO!”

“WHAT THE HECK!” you then smacked his arm, quickly squirming away from Jean.

“Heh, good morning to you as well, Y/n. Now, who’s this we have here?” Before you could respond, Jean sighed, extending his hand. He knew that if he let you talk, you would be put in another awkward position.

“My name is...John. A friend of Y/n,” you wheezed internally. He just had to pick the most generic name, one which sounded like his own. Zeke grabbed his hand, and shook it.

“Ah...nice to meet you John. Anyways, Y/n...Reiner has been looking for you all morning. His face seemed urgent, so I think you should go see him,” though Jean wasn’t pleased, with both Zeke, and the fact you had to leave (him for Reiner), he approved of the notion with a small nod.

“I’ll see you later, Je-John.”

“Yeah...same here,” he then walked the other direction, leaving both you and Zeke to walk towards HQ.

“Were you lying, about Reiner?” hand in his pocket, as the other smoked up a storm.

---

“No, I wasn’t. He actually was looking for you.”

“I see.”

“Also Y/n, just for the record, know that I’m not dumb, nor oblivious. I know what stunt you two were pulling off, trying to lie to me, tch,” he said, clearly annoyed. You inhaled the smoke of cigarettes. Not sure what to tell him. But you were also...laughing a bit. Actually enjoying his reaction since you’ve never seen Zeke so frustrated out of work.

“I see I’ve upset you?”

“Whatever you rascal. How long have you been with him?” he smiled as your hands clasped.

“We really are just friends. I met him at a pub, nothing much has happened between us, nor will anything in general,” he sighed as his tone became a lot firmer. Though he didn’t believe you, he still had something to say.

“You need to be more careful. If it were someone else who had seen, even more rumors would've been speculated, you know that? Plus, friendship or not, know where your priorities stand,” you choked on your saliva, trying to cough as his words caught you by surprise.

Before he could say anything more, the gates to HQ then opened for the both of you to see...Reiner...running as fast as he could.

“Reiner?...”

“Y/n! You’re here!”

“Yeah...I am….”

“I need you, let’s go,” he then dragged you elsewhere as Zeke stomped on his cigarette.

“You may need her...but does she actually need you...Reiner?”

Ⅹ > Ⅻ

36 notes · View notes

taones · 4 years

Text

𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 // 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐝𝐚

Pairing: takeda x gender neutral!reader (afab)

Notes: I simp for this man so hard and hes like legit on 3 days of kinktober sjdjjdjd day 2 of kinktober I had so much fun writing this even if its pretty short!

Warnings: Dom!Reader, sub!takeda, some biting, reader calls him slutty like once, minor dumbification, lowkey subspace, hair pulling, reader calls him kitten cause I think its CUTE, praise kink

The soft silk of the sheets cooled the scorching skin on your back slightly. Takeda was sitting at the desk at the end of your shared bedroom, head buried in a pile or poorly written essays. Furrowed brows and repetitive sighs alerted you to just how frustrated your partner was getting. After the 7th sigh in a row you grunted and pulled yourself off the bed, slinking towards his hunched over figure. Your hands moved towards his tense shoulders and began to massage the knots away, making him groan in relief.

“You know it’s the holidays right?” you questioned, pressing a kiss against his hair “you have a week off come lay with me”

Sighing once again, he turned his eyes towards you and you could see the bags underneath them, giving you a matching frown. It was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping well and you were beginning to worry about him. Not to mention the fact that you barely spent any time together, didn’t cuddle, didn’t go out, didn’t fuck. It was taking its toll on both of you. What you did know is that your partner always slept better after a good fuck.

“I’m just stressed y/n” he muttered, pulling you to sit on his lap.

Despite him doing the action, a soft red blush swam onto his cheeks causing you to giggle. No matter how long you dated, he would always be easily flustered by you and you loved it. Swinging your hips round to straddle the blushing man, you moved a hand up to cup his face. The soft rotation of your hips against his made his blush grow more and he tilted his head back slightly.

“Ittetsu you’re working yourself to the bone” you hummed “I can make you feel better’

Whimpering, he rolled his hips up into yours. The damp patch growing on your underwear made you groan and you decided to stop fucing around with him...for now. Standing from the quivering man's lap, you peered at him and smirked. The blue fabric of his work trousers did nothing to hide the obvious bulge he was sporting.

“C’mon Ittetsu,” you cooed, “can you take your strip for me baby?”

The desperation in the man made you giggle slightly. It was nice knowing you had that effect on him so easily. Once he was standing in just his work shirt and boxers, you slid over to him. Kisses with Takeda were usually soft and sweet, with just a hint of lingering nerves. This time tough, it was desperate and messy, to the point that his arousal was seeping through the kiss. As you began to move your lips down his jaw, your fingers reached up and began to unbutton his shirt. This left his chest and collar bones wide open for marks that his colleagues wouldn’t see. Not that Ittetsu minded people seeing, he liked people to know he was yours and liked the reminder himself. Of course, that is something he would never admit. A moan was ripped out of him when you sunk your teeth into the junction of his neck and shoulder, it caused his hips to buck in desperation.

“Okay baby, sit back at your desk”

The confusion and pleading eyes that fell over his face almost made you give in but you wanted to mess with him a little longer. A tutting sound escaped your mouth and you grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck, dragging him to your eye level. The melodic whines of the man filled the room and you shivered.

“I won’t say it twice Ittetsu” you growled, “bed, now.”

The tangle of long limbs as he scrambled to the chair made you hum in content. So well behaved. I guess that’s what you get when you teach all day, you learn to appreciate obedience, even if it’s you being told what to do. And boy was Takeda good at being obedient.

“Good boy” you purred.

The praise and hand running through his hair made him gasp and lock eyes with you. You could see the desperation beginning to seep into the pretty hazel of his eyes. It was a favourite expression of yours on him, only second to the glazed over, tongue out look he wore when you properly ruined him.

He had been a good boy. You decided to give him a treat and began to strip out of your nightwear. The way his thighs pressed together sent a rush of confidence through you and you decided to toy with your nipple just to hear the way his breath hitched at the sight. Eventually he let out a high pitched whine and you took mercy.

“Please y/n” he whispered, trying his best not to grind down on the rough fabric beneath him

You giggled and pulled your underwear off. The slick must have been obvious on your thighs because your partner's eyes started to get that glazed over look and became hooded. Slinging over once again, you straddled him like last time and hovered above his lap. Your hand slid down to pull his aching dick out of his boxers, precum sticky on your fingertips.

“Awe look how hard you are for be baby” you teased, leaning down to bite his ear “you must be aching”

A low moan bubbled in his throat but you swallowed it with a kiss, choosing that moment to sink onto him. The moans you both released were simultaneous and you couldn’t help but forget your task and grind onto him a little. It was nice to finally feel full after so long of his work taking up his time. Thin hands moved from gripping to cushion to hold onto your waist but you landed a harsh smack to his thigh, getting a squeak in response.

“No touching kitten” you growled, “pick up the pen and carry on marking”

Despite his situation, he was ever obedient and picked up his pen to continue marking the tests. You adjusted so that you were leaning your back on his chest and could see the work. This way you could punish him when he had a lapse in concentration or reward him when he finished a paper.

Takeda was trying so hard not to thrust into the wet heat surrounding his dick and it was obvious. His face was the same shade as the pen he was marking with and you giggled when you shifted slightly and he jolted. By the third essay he had begun missing mistakes and you used the opportunity to entertain you.

“You missed a spelling mistake tetsu” you cooed, “hmm a little touch to your cock and you lose all concentration, how slutty”

The raven haired man trembled beneath you but he knew better than to respond. He was lucky you had let him stay inside you instead of locking his dick away in a cage or using a cockring. The moment he found the mistake he missed, you rolled your hips down on his in reward. Well, you called it a reward but it was more like a punishment for the hypersensitive man beneath you. Heavy pants felt warm against the skin of your neck and you clenched around him. The mewl he let out caused you to chuckle darkly. Turning to grip his chin, you pulled it up to give him a kiss.

“Such pretty noises baby” you breathed, “one more essay and i’ll let you finish like the desperate little kitten you are”

Eagerness spread over his face, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Despite your efforts to distract him, he missed only one mistake. This time you leaned back, turned and bit the lobe of his ear. His head lolled back and you giggled at the hitch in his breath despite him still scribbling on the page in blood red ink. The last word he circled brought relief for both on you. Hazel eyes connected with yours and you had the perfect example of the most captivating face he could pull in your opinion.

His eyes were glazed over, reflecting the fuzzy feeling in his mind, bitten lips were coated in spit and his cheeks were flushing a shade of hot pink. Grinding on him, you turned and pulled him up by his hair to meet you in a kiss. It was messy and desperate, the pleasure had messed with his mind and he was now soft and pliant underneath you. He could barely control his tongue, instead letting you take charge of the kiss and press it against yours in a desperate kiss.

“C’mon kitten, you were amazing, so pretty for me” you rasp against his mouth, already riding him slightly, “let’s go to the bed so I can reward you like you deserve hmm?”

Sub takeda lives in my mind rent free I can’t help it

#apollo's kinktober 2020 #haikyuu kinktober #takeda ittetsu x reader #takeda ittetsu #takeda x reader #takeda smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #takeda ittetsu smut

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otptings · 3 years

Text

Forever and Always

Idol ; Wong Yukhei (Lucas)

Genre ; Fluff, Slight Angst (past fboy!Lucas, hinted mafia!Lucas (barely a hint), mentions of a fight)

this is a rewrite of my previous Home that I wrote. I really didn't like how it looked so I edited. I hope you guys enjoy this new and improved version

"What the hell happened to you?" Lucas gave me his big puppy dog smile. The smile he would use after a cheesy pick up line, or bad joke. A smile that made his eyes sparkles, and made my heart flutter at the sight.

But not now. This was a smile where he tried to hide his wince from his busted lip. Lucas leaned against my doorway, looking as if he would pass out any moment. Grabbing his hand I pulled him in to my apartment shutting the door behind me. Helping him over to the couch Lucas groaned as he sat down, only making my worry increase.

"Hi angel." I glared at him before turning away. Lucas grabbed my arm to keep me leaving.

"Don't leave please." I felt my heart break as I heard him whimper.

"I'm coming back, I have to go get the first aid kit." He looked up at me as if he was checking to see if I was telling the truth. Nodding his head he slowly let me go. I quickly ran to get the first aid kit. Sitting down on the couch beside him I opened it, and made sure that I had everything.

"Now are you going to tell me what happened?"

Nodding feebly Lucas looked down at his hands. "I got into a fight."

I rolled my eyes at the dumbass answer he gave me. As if I couldn't see that. "I'm not stupid, I know you got into a fight. Why did you get into a fight?"

Inspecting the cuts on his face, I saw that they were all superficial. Grabbing the alcohol I dipped a cotton swab in it, before gently brushing it over his cuts. He hissed at the burning sensation. Settling his hands on my waist, he squeezed ever time it hurt too much.

"It was because of you." My hand faltered for a bit before I finished up cleaning his cuts. Grabbing the ointment I spread it on the opposite end and coated all of his cuts with it, making sure to place a bandaid over them.

Moving down to his hands, I refused to look up at him. His knuckles were split open and starting to turn a nasty purple. Cleaning his knuckles, and applying ointment I wrapped bandages around them.

'Why? You know I hate you fighting even if it was for me, you know your past." Lucas sighed before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him.

"Someone was talking shit about us, our relationship, how I treat you in their eyes. They said that I didn't deserve you, that I was only using you for my own pleasure. Mentioned all the girls from my past. They were taunting me. I started to walk away but they said how they would treat you better, fuck you better. How much better they were than me, for you."

Lucas let go of my chin, and looked down at his bandaged hands. "My blood started boiling, and before I knew it I was getting kicked out of the bar. I just couldn't help it. I try so hard to leave my past behind, and I know that you deserve better than me, but it's fucking shitty to hear it. I'm sorry I know that you hate me fighting, and I should've walked away. I was wrong."

Tilting his head up I leaned in to kiss Lucas, being mindful of his lip. When I tried to pull away Lucas placed his hand on the back of my neck, keeping me in place. Lucas bit my bottom lip causing me to let out a gasp, and slipped his tongue past my lips. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with his hair at the base of his neck. He licked behind my teeth and used his arm wrapped around my waist to pull me in closer, until our chests were touching.

This made it all worth it. Feeling him, feeling his love for me even though he doesn't say it often. It's only be 2 years since we were in college, but his past seems to follow him. I know that he is constantly trying to prove to me that he's changed, and he's showed it in so many ways.

Him bringing me flowers after a hard day of work, making me dinner randomly, and planning surprise dates on our off days. He was constantly showing me he loved me through his actions, that he's changed.

After what seemed like hours we finally pulled away, keeping our foreheads together. I could feel his breath on my lips, and I know that he felt the same. If either of us talked our lips would brush against each other. Looking in the eyes that I loved so much I saw love and anger. I don't know if it was at the stranger, or at himself for his past.

"I love you." I whispered, scared that if I spoke any louder I would ruin the moment. Scared that there still might be a piece of him that shies away from love. This was the closest that Lucas has ever been too sincere to me.

"I'm sorry. For everything I've put you through. I love you so much." I looked down, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. Him saying I love you was so rare even 3 years into our relationship. I knew that if I looked him I would cry.

Lucas had other plans as he grabbed my face again and forced me to look at him. "I'm serious. I've been thinking, and I think I'm ready for you to move in with me. I know this a bad time to tell you, but I'm serious about you, about us, our future."

I pulled away from Lucas quickly. Moving in? That wasn't a big step, it was a gigantic one. Was I truly ready for that?

Looking at Lucas looked like a kicked puppy. I hated whenever Lucas had that look. I only ever wanted to make Lucas happy. And couldn't I say the same for him? He only ever tried to make me happy and feel loved, even if he doesn't know how to properly say it. We've been together for 3 years, despite his past and some of the obstacles - read threats- we faced, they've been absolutely amazing. But what about his job? Would I be safe in his house? Knowing what he did?

But this is Lucas. The same person who decorated my apartment our senior year because I had exams the same week and didn't want to celebrate. He refused to let me spend my birthday alone and even made me a cake. The same one who became my personal chauffeur when I had broken my fight. Who gave me his jacket so that no one would mess with me on campus. Who went out and brought me soup at 2 am when he learned that I had the flu and couldn't get out soup. Who had one of his 'coworkers' bring me lunch and coffee because he knew I would forget to eat due to stress. Who kissed away my tears whenever I was stressed because of class, or because of exams. Who sat with me and read my essays as many times as I needed him to.

The one was incredibly gentle with me our first time. Who asked for my consent every step of the way. Who cupped one of my cheeks gently, and rubbed his thumb against my face as he thrusted into me. Who was so sweet I cried because I'd never felt that loved before during sex.

The same person who I trusted with my heart, and life.

I didn't realize that I was crying until Lucas cupped my face and wiped away the tears before leaving multiple kisses on my cheeks.

"If you don't want to you don't have to. I would never force you." I shook my hand quickly before moving his hands, intertwining our fingers.

"I want to move in with you." He looked at me for a second trying to determine I was telling the truth. Once he saw no hesitation he broke out into the smile that I loved so much.

The one that made his eyes sparkle, and my heart flutter. Wrapping his arms around my waist he stood up and spun me around until I was laughing. Placing me on my feet he held my cheeks and kissed me deeply.

I realized it didn't matter where we were or if we were ready. He was my home. Forever and Always.

"You won right?"

"I thought you didn't like me fighting?"

"I hate it but I can't be dating a loser."

"You know I won, and if I wouldn't have? He would've had a bullet in his head."

"Thats my baby."

#wong lucas #wong yukhei #wayv lucas #wayv yukhei #nct yukhei #nct fluff #Kpop fluff #Kpop oneshot #Kpop imagines #nct imagines #nct oneshot #mafia!lucas

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