certified-scoundrel

[certified-scoundrel]

bringing back casual suits one waistcoat at a time

#if casual suits have 0 fans #someone call in a wellness check for me #casual suits #fashion #gay

[certified-scoundrel]

is that the fucking human pet guy

#cybersmith

[certified-scoundrel]

imagine if people did the whole "people are making every historical figure gay now!" thing with other stuff-

"just read an article that claimed Julius Caesar had red hair?? why does everybody have to be ginger now"

"apparently historians found 'evidence' that Alexander the Great didn't drink wine. god- not everybody in history was sober 🙄"

#its so silly #history #history hates lovers #Julius Caesar was ginger #lgbtq #gay #anti homophobia

[certified-scoundrel]

fuck

guys

i was getting ready to go see a red sox game with my dad and i basically recreated Whizzer's outfit from the baseball game ...

like- i look hot, but STILL....

#i am in fact devoted to #[beat] #style #Falsettos 2016 #whizzer brown #falsettos #whizzer falsettos

[certified-scoundrel]

just realized we aren't going to learn about the AIDS crisis in my APUSH class? my textbook doesn't even mention it, and none of the study materials my teacher has given the class so far does either...

#apush #aids crisis #us history #wtf

[certified-scoundrel]

two facts that are both true:

1. I don't like sad stories because i feel emotions so strongly that sad stories will make me feel physically ill as long as i'm thinking about it.

2. i'm currently hyperfixating on Falsettos.

#is this hell? #falsettos #falsettos 2016

[certified-scoundrel]

Neil!!!

[certified-scoundrel]

and on April 13th, 2006, niel banged out the tunes, and it was good

[certified-scoundrel]

my therapist: the king sitting on a gray block isn't real. It cant hurt you.

the king sitting on a gray block:

#just remembered the #falsettos #bootleg exists #falsettos 2016 #AHHH #anyway i just realized i have the perfect range to play whizzer #whizzer falsettos

[certified-scoundrel]

when you want to say "i can't do this anymore" but you are contractually obliged to do this some more

[certified-scoundrel]

Time to play: is it cramps or appendicitis!

#help

[certified-scoundrel]

staff: our april fools joke this year is a silly feature that doesn't really do anything but give you a button to boop other users! they have to opt-in first though :)

me:

[certified-scoundrel]

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.

then they started fighting Covid precautions.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.

now my parents think climate change is a myth.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.

then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.

now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.

you can guess who they voted for.

i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.

when did they forget?

[certified-scoundrel]

this whole boop thing is exactly what i needed today

#like #yes plss #i love internet points #my chronic illness and normal illness joined together to make #super sick #in a bad way #but this #THIS? #monday is back on fuckers

[certified-scoundrel]

me, crying in my bed, holding my dinosaur stuffed animal, staring at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling after turning off my moon nightlight, realizing i'm mourning my childhood before it's over

#it's like nostalgia for a time you werent alive #it's prolly also a trans thing #i never got to be a 7 year old boy in a spider-man shirt #transgender #mental health

[certified-scoundrel]

i hate school bathrooms like i'm trying to take a shit can you stop talking about what it feels like for someone to cum inside of you

#please stop talking about your pregnancy scare #school

[certified-scoundrel]

my favorite thing in music is when triangle players just go apeshit. like- the entire orchestra is together, and over top it you just hear some guy taking a sledgehammer to a piece of metal

#music #band #orchestra #classical music