everything he has ever done, the good and the bad, he has done for love!
claws in your back; julien baker / 14x12 / which witch; florence + the machine / 14x13 / the heart is a muscle; gang of youths / 15x09 / samaritans; idles / 15x14 / they wanted darkness; frank iero / 15x19
nobody @ me for bringing this up because i was strongly encouraged to post by @forevercloudnine so the blame isnt 100% on me
but watching the first two episodes of loki last night had me pondering about the weird number of structural parallels between loki/mobius (lokius? is that the ship name?) and destiel. i know i know but just listen ok
so lets just reframe the narrative so far in terms of supernatural (sigh. again im very sorry)
weve got loki, who thinks he understands the stakes and the limitations of his universe, being a pretty powerful individual within it himself. suddenly he is made aware of a vast bureaucracy that is dictating his and everyone elses free will, who are above the prior stakes
the mere existence of the tva paralleling the reveal of heaven and the angels in supernatural, seeing as before the big objectives (obtaining infinity stones or killing demons) are suddenly simple (infinity stones as paperweights, angels killing demons with ease)
the reaction of the protagonists being to immediately assume they personally can take down this big structure themselves, and to reassert their personal control over their own free will. loki, and lady loki, (as well as numerous other loki variants from other points in the timeline) are equipped with the tenacity and irritation at being controlled to rebel against this order the second they become aware of it (dangerously deancore)
contrast the entirety of ‘team free will’ fighting heaven and its plan for the winchester brothers, vs lokis obvious unease at becoming a timeline-dangerous variant due to an accident out of his control, and his monologue to mobius about how maybe tva is the only place where people have free will, since theoretically that location is outside the timeline
its pretty obvious though that none of the tva agents are actually agents of their own destiny any more than your run of the mill resident of the normal flow of time is - the only difference is that tva is self-aware. theyre strictly working within the confines of their orders and their mission, and encouraged to think within those bounds. casey hasnt ever left his desk, mobius has a bit more freedom but is obviously still very much confined by the chain of command. whats that castiel quote— “explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish.”
this brings us to mobius. hes a believer in the mission, but clearly has his own ideas about how to achieve that. hes willing to take risks, and forge a connection with a loki variant in order to use him to bring the timeline back into alignment
dont even get me started on how BOTH of these shows play the sympathetic white character off of a dark skinned black character who is unwilling to extend the same olive branches to our protag, that's an issue for another post
at first i was thinking to myself, “well, mobius is pretty clearly adept at manipulating loki, so theres one difference!” but no. castiel literally lied to the winchesters for a whole season about his true motivations, so despite his guilelessness hes obviously capable of manipulation and deception. goddamn it all
theres also the unfortunate truth that both loki and the winchesters have primarily been slash-shipped in incest ships prior to the introductions of these characters. honestly that parallel on its own is already a little bit damning?
obviously we are only on episode two but mobius is probably going to end up working with loki in some capacity. if he defects from the bureaucratic hegemony that is heaven the tva im going to lose my fucking mind, the baseline parallels are already too much for me to handle without going a little cuckoo
okay now that I finally have time - a few things about the russian dub. I'm russian and a translator so I feel the mighty need to give my two rubles.
- I've watched about three different rus dubs now because russians don't usually wait for the “official” dubs as in “aired on tv” because we tend not to get any and netflix and other streaming services are still new here (also people are poor and piracy is a thing). we have some teams who translate and dub shows for free and they are wildly popular among the fans who prefer dub
- I don't really like our dubs. yep, I said it, mostly they are... not great to put lightly or wildly weird and again not in a good way. but. the confession scene in all of them was surprisingly well done. I mean my faves are still latam and french dubs but yeah, not terrible. HOWEVER. society if we could do it in a more romantic way. that being said...
- all the dubs didn't make it outright NOT romantic. in fact, some even made the scene MORE gay than the original lmao. which was nice since I know where I live and genuinely thought that they would just... ignore it or bro their way through it
now. the dub that's circulating here.
- all of you who are saying that context means much more in russian than sometimes even the words - are right. you don't stand in front of your manly bro with that face, after that speech and say “я люблю тебя” and not mean it in a romantic way. yes, we don't have two separate words for romantic and platonic love in russian (hence him saying that he loved Sam and Jack and using the same word) but the context here definitely conveys that it IS romantic when it's Dean he's talking to
- it was said before but I want to say it again (because I really liked this change). Dean saying не вздумай - "don't even think about it" basically means "don't you dare" and this is MUCH more assertive and powerful than plain "don't do this". AND more romantic. because again - the context. I also saw people confusing this line with "don't even think that I love you/ don't tell me such things" etc. and... honestly such interpretation didn't even cross my mind because... it's not what he's saying, simply isn't. this phrase is closer to "don't you dare" as I said earlier. Dean's figured out what Cas is going to do what he's thinking and he can't bear going though this again. he's saying "don't you dare leaving me again", it's almost like a command. idk how to explain it more clearly but just know that the phrase refers to Cas' sacrifice and Dean's inability to live with this. (also a lighter side note: russian moms love the word as in "don't even think about it or you're dead and then some" and it really suits Dean with his mom vibes)
- I saw the debate about whether Cas referring to Dean as a "creation"(создание) instead of a "human being" strips him of his flaws and humanity. valid, but I raise you this - it sounds so fucking romantic. I can't even explain it, maybe again, it's because you DON'T say such things to your manly man friends here without wanting some gay gay love in return. (I mean I gasped when I heard it hfhsgdg) maybe it's also because in russian (esp in classic lit) the word создание can also be used and translated as a "creature" or a "thing" but not in any derogatory way but in phrases like “милое создание” - “sweet creature”, “хрупкое создание” - “fragile creature/thing” and it's mostly referred to THE LADIES to show adoration (or disguised contempt but here it's not the case)
- Cas' word for goodbye "прощай" is indeed more final than other options, but I'm inclined to think that it's partly because "до свидания" is too long for lipsync. BUT fun fact - the word "прощай" also means "forgive" in imperative. this remark doesn't mean anything here i guess but i just like talking about the perks of my language. also initially “прощай” meant "let me go freely and without guilt" :)
- tldr: they are GAY for each other your honor: russian edition 💚💙
Hi My dears! We are gonna talk today about Dean's heart and choices in episode 14x13 (episode 300).
Remember this is a summary of my metas about season 4. You can find them here: X, X and X.
This entire episode 'Lebanon' was about closing circles with a huge issue for the boys: John Winchester. Part of their healing process needed to close this door.
But it also talked about what was inside Dean's heart: How he faced a wish he had when he was 4 years old and how he 'exchanged' that wish for his present wish at his 40 years old. (Related to episode 14x06 and the beginning of this episode with an 'exchange shop')
SAM: How did this happen?
DEAN: I-I-I don’t know. You said that the – the pearl gives you what your heart desires, right? So, my heart desired – I – I’ve wanted this, man. I’ve – I’ve wanted this since I was 4 years old.
Gif credit @starlightcastiel
So, Dean had to make his duel about the image of his mother at his four years old with his present mother, the real one, the human that makes mistakes, and not the perfect one (season 12). And now it was time to choose between John Winchester (toxic masculinity, past) vs Dean's chosen family and romantic love (Castiel).
Dean had a long list of Daddy issues, but he still was longing for him and for a family reunion, to be together, happy as they were before Yellow Eyes.
That's the wish from Dean's Innocent childhood heart, bc inside of him he knew... He need to forgive John Winchester and let him go.
What Dean, a 40 years old man, really wants
Gif credit @inacatastrophicmind
This was a huge heartbreaking feeling for Dean, he had lost his hunting life, and now, he had lost Castiel. And that, my friends, was the thing. Not doubts. He wouldn't allow to lose, not his life as a hunter, not his family, and he would never lose Castiel again.
I wrote all this section pointing why Dean decided to turn the wish back. He literally chosed Castiel, his family, against his past, his toxic masculinity, John Winchester.
The Exchange and the visual narrative
A place where you "exchange" your "treasures" for money. You leave behind things there to obtain a benefit. The same thing Dean did in this episode, he left John behind (with pain) to keep his present family.
At the beginning of the episode we have Dean and Sam in a pawnshop. This place was full of visual narrative. Symbolism of Hispanic cards (three swords, two cups, etc) representing pain.
It also had stories of wishes as a warning and pain too (you can find the entire meta in one of the links I put at the beginning of this one).
All of this scenario was pointing to one conclusion:
Gif credit: @jensenackles-daily
The Big Decision
Dean needed to love himself, to be comfortable with his present, and starting from that point, he was able to take his decision. But mostly, to face John Winchester.
Gif credit @agusvedder
But, what makes Dean to be so desperate at the point to lose his father again and get his present back?
Gif credit @agusvedder
Dean couldn't live in a reality in which Castiel didn't know him. That was so painful to him, that it made him take his decision once and for all.
And this, my friends, this is Dean chosing his angel, over his father. (What I predicted in 14x06).
This was a very important episode for character's improvement. Not just for Dean, but also for Sam. The centric source of Dean's decision to choose his present over his past was Castiel. That's why his face is full of happiness and love when his angel cross the Bunker's door at the end of the episode.
the thing about the trap is. dean’s speech. it is the tropes.com fanfic missed opportunity speech.
Cas! No, no, no. Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me... that wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, but I just let you go. 'Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong. I -- Ohh. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know -- I know that it's -- i-it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just -- it comes out. And I can't -- I can't stop it. No matter how -- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And -- And I -- I forgive you. Of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long -- I'm sorry it took me till now to say it. Cas, I'm -- I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me. Okay…
I need to say something —
I heard your prayer
why with under a minute and some change in purgatory would dean need to make sure cas knew he apologized. that can wait until their topside. unless it can’t. unless it needs to be said in a place that feels pure! unless it needs to tumble out clumsy or it will be stuck in the back of his throat. he’s pretty sure he might suffocate on it if he doesn’t spit it out but. oh. he heard his prayer.
ok so i saw someone saying as a joke that dean was swallowed by empty or something similar but actually it makes so much sense bc like in the final episode when sam and dean talk about jack and cas, dean is angry that cas isnt there, that he died, but then in "heaven" when bobby tells him about cas he practically doesn't react so my theory is that at some point chuck erased dean's memory of cas (or part of it) or was replaced by look alike to fool sam, and dean is in empty or fake heaven or hell
something about how i have seen the shot of dean kneeling by cas' side in 12x23 so many times but i never really pay attention to the imprint of cas' wings. every time an angel died prior, the imprint of their wings is the focus of the moment. they're huge and powerful and its a big deal. every time cas showed his wings prior. it's poignant and beautiful and its a big deal. but in 12x23 that’s not the focus of the moment. the focus of the moment is dean. shattered at the alter of cas.
hold on...he waits in a bar for cas to come home...he waits for cas with the woman who tried to help him first contact him, the only human who's seen his true form. The woman who could use THEE handprint to talk to cas. The woman who's life and death were both bookended (in dean's mind) with cas appearing and telling dean that he was important, that he mattered. Oh take me back to the night we met we're really in it now...
Angel Radio: Wavelengths and Vessels and Marks, Oh My!
This is a section of a comment I made on Bob Wess's latest Destiel video (check it out! good shit!) where I finally figured out the deal with angelic wavelengths. I'd been wondering for AGES about how/why Dean couldn't understand Cas, but I think I've noodled it out to my brain's satisfaction, this time!
I just had a brain wave about how/why Dean wasn't able to hear Cas when he was initially trying to communicate with Dean right after returning him to his body! I was thinking about those moments, and the fact that Cas clearly has not taken a vessel yet at this stage, and so what does that make him? A multi-dimensional wavelength of celestial intent.
Wavelength implies frequency and the way the angels communicate on the show has always been referred to as 'angel radio', so here's my thought: the reason Dean couldn't understand Castiel was because Dean is vibrating at an entirely different frequency from Cas.
Why? Because Dean is Michael's vessel - an archangel - and presumably, as an archangel wavelength Michael would be undoubtedly stronger, whereas Castiel (as a seraph) might not even be on the same wavelength. Because Dean's bloodline is tied directly to Cain, to Chuck - the biggest of bigwigs in the SPN mythology - and hence is infinitely more powerful/power-supporting in comparison.
The bloodlines theory could also explain why Demon!Dean was such an interesting character, as well - because Cain took over the Mark from Lucifer. If you figure demon smoke (wtf it's supposed to represent) is basically the equivalent of a demon's 'soul' or essence, or what have you - and you have Dean, from thee line of Cain, taking the Mark. Again, Dean is the Mark's perfect host just as much as he was a perfect vessel for Michael. That Biblical bloodline is some strong shit!
we’ve done so many parallels, but this one? this one hurts.
in 8x22 Clip Show, Andrew Dabb introduces us to the dungeon. And this is the very first conversation that takes place there:
An outward moment of questioning, which is rare for Dean, as he doesn't tend to verbalize his thoughts. But it is also specifically about Cas. Dean is wrestling with the fact that Cas is Different than everybody else--than anybody else. Why? Because it’s Cas.
And if that’s not implication-y enough, we turn to the final conversation held in the dungeon:
Cas’ love confession to Dean.
The dungeon. The place filled with hate and violence and torture. Introduced and ushered out with the recognition of love.
there's something about dean's mom coming back in season 12, about dean having to reconcile and reevaluate the concept of "home" and "family" and "apple pie life" in a completely new way. something about the literal symbol of being with the ones you love being made flesh, being brought back to him and how around the same time dean starts getting cozier, almost domestic with cas...something about dean having more of a family in s12 than he's ever really had. something about how john ingrained in him how "there can be no normal life now that mary's gone." something about how she's back now and suddenly cas knows what's under his pillow and dean makes him a mixtape
We talk a lot about the Dean/Cas parallels in Repo Man (and rightfully so!), but one thing I don’t see mentioned as much is that the situation with Jeffrey and his demon is also a mirror for Sam and Lucifer (especially the first part of the episode before the twist). When we are first introduced to Jeffery, we see him as a victim who was willing to make a personal sacrifice for the greater good - he gives Sam and Dean his consent to be tortured so they can get the information they need from the demon that’s possessing him. This selfless act comes at a great personal cost to Jeffrey and his mental health deteriorates to the point where he is placed in an institution. You don’t have to squint to see the obvious parallels to Sam’s sacrifice in “Swan Song” and his ongoing hell trauma in S6/7. It’s really only after the big twist that Jeffrey becomes a Dean mirror - the broken man forsaken and betrayed by the supernatural being he loved. It’s a really clever bit of writing by Ben Edlund to be able to tie in both Sam and Dean’s season 7 arcs to the plot of this MotW episode.
when superwholock was in its heyday i tried to watch supernatural (since i was a fan of the other two) but i was like. 13 and pretty aggressively atheist and as soon as they introduced angels and demons i got mad and stopped watching