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#AND SHE PICKS HER SKIN SO IT'S ALWAYS BLEEDING N I HAVE TO WIPE IT UP FOR HER AND SHE BURIES HER HANDS INTO HER FACE AND HER BLACK FLUFFY
shoverse · 8 months
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THE WAY SHE SAYS IT MAKES ME UGHHHHHH
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hlvstia · 11 months
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— let loose.
pairing : peter parker x f!reader ( tom!spider )
summary : you find peter angrily training by himself.
warnings : fic MENTIONS spoilers for no way home && MENTIONS blood and death a wee bit. do NOT read if you havent seen nwh and if you aren’t comfortable with said topics.
a/n: switches to 2nd and 3rd pov but doesn’t change the style too much! :)
word count : 1.5k+ MY BIGGEST YET !!! got carried away. OKAY, have fun reading! send requests and i’ll write them <3 also got two fics coming up hehe
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after dr. stranges spell, he was furious with himself. he hated the fact how he was forced to forget you and his friends.
all he wanted to do was run into your arms and kiss you. that’s all he wanted. unfortunately, he couldn’t; the presence that he once had was certainly gone because of something he decided to do.
everyday he breathed air was a reminder that you were no longer in the grasp of his arms. he could no longer kiss you to sleep whenever you had a hard time falling asleep.
he was your forte. and your reason to keep on pushing.
god, peter had felt worthless without his close circle. he had to get his anger out somehow. i mean, who was suppose to bottle in the feeling of losing his aunt and his close friends in a close time span?
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without a single thought, his fist aimed for the matted material, hitting his knuckles against it as the punching bag jerked back, the chain rattling each time he did.
each punch was a feeling he held inside— one for his aunt, one for you, one for mj and one of ned. each fuckin’ time his knuckles dug into the training equipment was a reminder of how much he was pathetic. at least to himself.
nor’ did he have any gloves to protect his hands. he didn’t care at this point, not caring how much his hands bled from his harsh punches.
hell, his tears threatened to spill out from his puffed up eyes. you could already tell he’s been having a tough time, hence, finding him connecting his fist to the bricked wall behind him.
[y/n] furrowed her eyebrows together, seeing him let out a couple of weak grunts as she grabbed a clean damp towel, approaching the male who seemed irregular than ever.
seeing you made him freeze in his spot, his eyes slightly widening to the fact that you approached him first. he knew you came here regularly, training yourself just in case something horrible had happen to you in the middle of the streets.
so, he signed up for a membership and began training and tracking your schedule for whenever you came. 6pm on the dot always. if anything, he would even catch the moon for you.
“hi, i know it’s not my place but i couldn’t help but notice your knuckles… they’re, uh, bleeding?” your voice was soft spoken, your eyes pointing at his knuckles, the dried blood latching onto his skin. “can i?” you continued, holding out the damp towel to him. “i… yeah,”
most of his words were caught in his throat as he held out his knuckles to you, his eyes focused on your facial features. you were still beautiful as ever to him— the way your lips looked, and the way your eyes were soft everytime they were hyperfixiated.
your lips curled into a small smile, softly pressing the towel onto his knuckles as it picked up the blood, swiping it with a low pressure to wash away the dried blood, but not too much to injur him.
peter winced, sucking the air between his teeth quietly as the fabric made impact with his open cuts, causing him to bite down onto his lips.
[y/n] chuckled softly, feeling bad about his pain but she couldn’t help but giggle at his foolish decisions. “sorry, but maybe next time wear gloves? they help a lot, i promise.” you suggested, wiping his knuckles one last time before folding the towel and pushing his hands down in a soft manner.
there it was again. this was the reason why he had fallen in love with you in the first place. you were always soft and caring to everyone, even if you barely even knew them.
“thanks again, but uh— it didn’t cross my mind to wear gloves. i guess i was heated in the moment? can’t really explain what i was thinking.” peter took one more glance at his knuckles before meeting with your eyes again, this time, his face softening with yours.
“no problem, but can i wrap them up for you? i wouldn’t want your hands getting infected.” you suggested, turning your back to another part of the gym as you started walking, not giving him a chance to deny your offer. “i wouldn’t want to give you too much work— oh, uh�� okay!” he nervously followed you behind, keeping a safe distance between you two.
he had a soft blush on his face, not being able to contain the fluttering in his heartbeat each second he looked at you.
as you finally approached your gym bag, you dug in there until you found your packed med kit, placing it on the ground as you opened it, hearing the click. “always bring this with me just in case someone got hurt,” you mumbled to him, searching for an alcohol wipe for his open cut.
he knew you did, but couldn’t bring up the fact that he was aware of it already.
“really? wow, you seem really sweet.” he softly grinned at your comment, his heartbeat becoming faster as he saw you get up, tearing the packet open. “thank you, i would hope i am.” you laughed at his remark, cleaning his knuckles with the wipe. “oh, sorry! forgot to warn you!” quietly gasping to yourself, you felt his body tense up from the sudden stinging spreading throughout his cut.
“n-no, you’re fine! it’s just an alcohol wipe, no biggie.” he mumbled, his body returning to its original state. “yeah but again, it hurts— i mean, the stinging pain is no fun.” you sighed, going back to your bag to grab the bandages that was nearby the med kit.
“right but maybe i should be used by this feeling now… i keep finding myself hurt.” peter flexed his hand, feeling the muscles pull as you tilted your head in confusion. “by training! because, um, i rarely bring my boxing gloves.” he quickly caught himself before you could question him, forgetting that you used to know his secret identity.
“oh? maybe you should approach me often. i’ll patch you up for free… i’d hate to see you hurt.” you unwrapped the adhesive bandage, circling the adhesive around his knuckles and around his fingers.
he let out a breathy chuckle, watching you tear the bandage and attaching it to the side of his hand. “i’ll take up on your offer, i guess i should be more aware though.” smiling to himself, he pressed his hands onto his sides.
“yaknow, i can’t help but fathom myself onto why you seem… so familar to me. have i seen you outside this gym?” [y/n] arched an eyebrow up, packing up her stuff as she zipped the bag closed.
peter couldn’t help but to nervously smile, scratching the back of his neck. there was no way you remembered, right? but again, he did visit the coffee shop you picked up shifts at. “the coffee shop not too far from here… you work there, right?” he responded, looking down to see you getting your stuff together.
“yeah, i do! forgot that this street is mostly filled with regulars!” you snickered, throwing the bag up to hold it on your shoulder.
you get a flashback of to you giving him coffee everyday, writing his name down on each cup sleeve. “peter, right?” you finally said his name.
and that just sent a million sparks inside him, feeling his knees be frail on spot. you had actually remember his name. “yeah, that’s me. peter parker, and, uh…” he paused for a moment, closing his eyes to try and remembering your name tag you had pinned to your shirt. “[y/n], isn’t that correct?” peter snapped his fingers when he finally remembered.
of course he did, but had to play it cool— man, this was going to be hard. having to fake everything because he didn’t forget anything about you.
“[y/n], [y/n] [l/n] to be exact.” you flashed a charming smile, holding out your hand for him to shake.
“it’s a pleasure to finally talk to you, [y/n].” his smile returned back, his hand barely curling as you two shook hands, gently.
fuck, it was so nice to actually say your name in front of you. your name rolling off his tongue perfectly.
“yeah, the pleasures mine!” you nodded, quickly checking your watch as you saw the time.
your eyes had widened, recalling that you had a friend hangout with mj and ned. “oh, gosh— i have to go, so sorry!” you exclaimed, taking one last look at him.
“wait! can i… get your number before you leave?” he blurted out, rushing to whip out his phone, opening up his contacts list. “for sure! you’ll have to text me later though!” you inclined, typing in your digits as you even inserted your name, pressing ‘done’ once you had finished.
���b-bye! text you later!” he watched you leave, hearing the bell ring as you fixed your clothes, speed-walking to the place you had to be.
just as always, he knew the time you arrived back home. 9:30pm, sometimes 9:50pm if you were at a restaurant with your friends.
as hours passed, you reached to your doormat and immediately heard a ‘ding!’ sound coming from your phone, and just to your surprise.
it was peter, peter parker.
looking at the unknown number for a second, you quickly changed it to his name, following along with a special emoji.
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thank you for reading until the end! i know i keep bugging about it but SEND in your requests and reblog this post! it helps me a lot and makes me happy.
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delcakoo · 2 years
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son of hades!riki watching femreader!daughter of apollo heal/comfort and later on cutely playing with little toddler campers to cheer them up and falls more in love w her bc of how good she is w kids
(its percy jackson themed, i hope im making sense😭 basically the reader has healing powers)
OH HELL YEAH PERCY JACKSON AA i dont even know anything ab the actual series, but i have read fics with its concept and ITS SUCH A COOL IDEA 🫶🫶 i had to do a bit research and it says hades kids can shadow travel and have earth powers..? hope thats correct jshdjd this was so fun to write, ty for the req anon <3 !! SOFT HOUR REQS ARE CLOSED !!
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11:14AM — it was the hades’ kids turn to babysit the younger campers.
riki found kids a bit annoying, much too troubling and loud for his taste. but he couldn’t deny that the little boy he was assigned to supervise for the day was more than adorable.
his name was mingyu, a hermes kid with black curly hair filled and big brown boba eyes, his cheeky smile growing whenever riki swung their intertwined hands back and forth.
the little boy stopped suddenly along the camps pathway, looking up at riki with a big grin, “hyung! watch this!”
like most young hermes kids, mingyu was eager to show off his oustanding stealth and speed, zooming in circles at a breakneck speed. he was almost a blur to riki, moving so fast to the point that the older male’s eyes could barely keep up with his figure.
he chuckles, “woah, you’re even faster than hyung!” feeling playful, riki decides to put his own powers to use; manipulating a couple earthy platforms into the air, replicating a mini parkour park for the boy. “bet you cant get up there,” he taunts.
perhaps he shouldn’t have done that.
feeling challenged, mingyu rushes up to the rocks, pouncing higher with each one, the little boy cheers, laughing proudly with each jump. “more, hyung! make more!”
the hades boy gulps, hands moving in panic as he tries to keep up with the child who’s now jumping to each platform right as they’ve been formed. riki didn’t use his geokinesis often; evident in how slow it took him to develop each new rock. “h-hey kid, slow down! i can’t—“
it was too late; mingyu’s already jumped into the open air, expecting riki to place a rock beneath him, only to find nothing as he falls all the way down to the ground. immediately, the little boy bursts into tears, staring down at his legs that were painfully scratched up and bleeding.
“shit,” riki curses, rushing over to kneel before the younger. “hey, it’s alright gyu, i’ll take you to the medical cabin right now, okay?”
the walk to the meds was one full of terrible, heart wrenching guilt; riki having to carry the poor boy bridal style with tears and blood still running down his skin. right as he was about to open the cabin door, you had already pulled it open.
riki’s heart nearly began thumping out of his chest. he’d interacted with you a couple times here and there, always noticing little, endearing details about you, like the way you sometimes hit the person next to you from you laughing too hard, or how your tongue would poke out of your cheek whenever you were frustrated. he found you charming, it was unfortunate he’d be meeting you again in such a way. “y/n—“
“riki!” you scold, quickly taking mingyu from his hold, “what the hell did you do?!”
he gulps, quickly following you as you set the hermes boy down on the closest bed. you were rushing around the room in a hurry, picking a few wipes to clean the child’s wounds. “i- we were playing around, and then he fell! it was an accident though, i promise!”
riki was only feeling more guilty about the fact that he’d nearly forgot about mingyu’s injuries; much too busy admiring you despite the glare you send his way while you wipe up the boy’s blood.
“i’ll deal with you later,” you sigh, throwing the wipe into the trash. like a switch, your expression morphs into one of gentleness as you smile down at mingyu comfortingly. “okay baby, this is going to feel a bit strange, but just focus on me, okay?”
he sniffles, closing his own eyes nervously. “mkay, noona.”
“so mingyu, what’s your favourite animal?”
“umm.. i like tigers..” while he’s distracted you take a deep breath, muttering something as you place your hands over his scrapes. “but.. but i also like lions..” riki just watches in amazement, lips parted as the injuries begin to miraculously close up. mingyu is too busy talking about lions, hands fidgeting with each other anxiously.
suddenly, you open your eyes with a big smile, “look at that, you’re all better!”
riki isn’t fully aware of what happens after that, all he knows is that he is absolutely, undoubtedly in love with you. he faintly sees mingyu spring up from the bed happily, giving you a big, grateful kiss on the cheek.
his dad wouldn’t mind him going for an apollo kid, right?
i’m sorry if things are unnacurate, again i dont know much about percy jackson <\3 this was super fun anyway sjnddjn i hope i did ur idea justice anonnieee >:)
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falcqns · 1 year
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𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞
◎ pairing: Joel Miller & Ellie Williams
◎ summary: after Silver Lake, all Joel can focus on is his girl.
◎ warnings: Post Ep 8, slight mention of D*vid, insinuations of SA and canon typical violence, blood, Joel finally admitting Ellie is his daughter, mentions of Sarah
◎ a/n: my first TLOU fic!! i hope you like it! tagging @natashasera like always <3
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Joel had never truly realized how small Ellie was. He knew she was little, a small girl of only 14, but until now, when he was cradling her in his arms, he realized how small she was. This child, the child that he told Marlene and Tess that he didn’t want, that he shouldn’t be entrusted with, was small. Too small. But then again, he hadn’t been around a child her age for 20 years. 
He watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. They’d managed to make it to a small abandoned cottage close to Salt Lake City, but far enough from Silver Lake to keep Joel’s throat from closing up. Seeing Ellie, his kid, stumble from that burning building covered in blood, ponytail falling apart, was a sight he never wanted to see again, as long as he lived. All he wanted to do now was get her to the Fireflies, let them run their tests, and then take her back to Jackson. To their farmhouse, number 38. Even though they’d only spent a night there, he could see himself, and his new-found daughter, living there. 
He wanted to help her redo the bedroom that she had claimed. Repaint the walls, get a new, bigger bed. The biggest he could find. Fill the room with all the pillows and blankets he could find and trade for in Jackson. Maybe add some string lights, like ones hanging on the main strip in the town. Find her things to do with space. Books, posters, figurines, anything. Anything and everything she wanted. He wanted to give her a bedroom where nothing bad had ever happened. No tears, no fighting, no ‘you’re not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain’t your dad.’ Because the truth was, she was his the second he laid eyes on her. 
And could anyone blame him? He may have lost his daughter 20 years ago, but that paternal feeling, the feeling of needing to protect those smaller than you, didn’t go away. It remained, spreading through his whole body, like the virus. And like the fungus, it exploded out. The second he laid eyes on Ellie Williams, on the ground at his feet, glaring up at him, he was screwed. 
Ellie’s legs began to slip off of his lap, and the motion jerked him out of the trance he was in, watching her chest rise and fall as she slept. He cleared his throat quietly, and picked up the wet cloth he’d been using to wipe off the blood caked to Ellie’s pale skin. He’d managed to check her over for any breaks earlier, but hadn’t gotten the chance to clean her up, in his panic to keep her alive. 
They’d been walking for hours. Both of them were tired, ready to fall asleep standing up. But, Joel had been determined to push on. The man who took his Ellie was dead, but that didn’t mean his followers were. He wanted to get them as far away from Silver Lake as possible. He stopped though, when Ellie collapsed. Fell, into the snow. Had Joel not been gripping her so tightly, making sure he didn’t let go, he may not even have known she’d collapsed. That’s when he spotted the abandoned cottage. He knelt down next to her, and checked her over. 
He pushed away the sides of his coat, and reached for the brown crew neck she had on. He lifted it up, trying to get a good look at her ribs. A large red, purple and blue bruise was blossoming on her rib. “‘m sorry, baby girl,” he whispered, before, as gently as he could, poked and prodded her midsection, trying to see if she’d broken any ribs. From his inspection, she’d broken at least one, but it was low enough that it didn’t endanger her lungs. He lowered her sweater down, and continued his inspection. There were no other injuries that he could detect, and as long as she wasn’t bleeding internally, she had simply collapsed from exhaustion. He cradled her head in his elbow, and slid his other arm under her legs, groaning as he stood and lifted her. After a breath, he continued on to the small cottage in the distance. 
Joel lowered the cloth once her face was free from any blood. Her nose appeared to at least be fractured, but other than that, she seemed okay. Physically, at least. He dropped the cloth onto the bed next to him, and lifted her legs back up. As he held them, he remembered the last time he held his other baby girl. 
Sarah would have loved Ellie. If Sarah had lived, she would be 34. And knowing his Sarah, she would have been attached to Ellie right away. Joel had always known Sarah would be a mother, and after meeting Ellie, he knew she would have thought of the younger girl as her own. She was great with children, and always talked of being a teacher when she was younger. He just wished she was here, so Ellie could have a female figure to look up to. Something neither of his daughters had, he realized. 
He sniffled, as a tear ran down his face. He gently laid Ellie’s legs down, and lifted her up, so they were chest to chest. Her head flopped around briefly, before snuggling into his neck. His right hand settled on her lower back as he slowly began to rock her, while his other buried itself in her messy hair. 
He had been so scared, when he woke up and she was gone. He couldn’t lose her. He’d lost one daughter, and that’d been one too many. Ellie needed to survive, so he can give her the life she deserved. 
Ellie whimpered, her head moving around briefly, and Joel found himself shushing her like he would a newborn baby fussing. But yet, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Someone had hurt his baby girl. Hurt this small, skinny child. She wasn’t defenceless, in fact she could defend herself better than he could defend her, but she was 14. She shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than who she had a crush on at her age. 
As he sat there, against the wall off the cottage, cradling his Ellie in his arms, he vowed to make sure no one ever touched her again. No one would harm her, bruise or break her porcelain skin. She would never have to defend herself again. Not while he was alive to protect her. 
Just because her small hand was able fit around her too big knife, it didn’t mean it should. 
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hollybee8917 · 1 year
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His One and Only
Characters: Ari Levinson, Reader
Plot: The battle is over but not everyone is coming home.
Warnings: Major character death, angst, mentions of battle, injury descriptions
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The words caught in your throat and you held back your tears. Beside you, Sammy Navon who was once your husband’s best friend, rubbed your back and spoke softly, “Your name was the last thing on his lips. He loved you so much.”
But his words meant nothing to you. Your heart constricted causing you to devolve into a sobbing mess. Your beloved was gone.
The tears flowed freely as you clutched his necklace to your chest, his Magen David. The star was stained with his blood but you didn’t care. All you could think about was that he was not wearing it any longer.
Sammy wrapped his arm around you, “He spoke of you with his final breaths. He wanted to make sure you were taken care of.”
You finally raised your eyes and spoke, the pain radiating in your voice, “What did he say?”
“ARI!” Sammy Navon slid to a stop at the sight of his friend. The battle had been long and Sammy had spent most of it tending to the wounded. After it was over and they had claimed victory over the opposition, Sammy went onto the field to find his best friend.
Ari Levinson slowly opened his eyes as Sammy raised Ari’s head into his lap. The man winced slightly causing his friend to apologize, “I’m sorry, Ari.”
Samuel took in the state of his friend and noticed a gaping wound on Ari’s left side. His right wrist was twisted at an unnatural angle and he was bleeding profusely from his leg.
“Shit.” Sammy softly cursed, “Ari, I need you to hang on. I am going to get you out of here. I promise.”
“Sam, tell y/n I love her. Tell her I will be okay. Tell her-“
Sammy interrupted him, “No, don’t talk like that. You’ll be okay.”
Ari slowly shook his head and groaned, “No. I’m not going to make it out of this one. Sammy…”
“Yes, Ari?”
“I’m so cold. So cold. Why can’t I get warm?”
“Ari…”
You began sobbing again, completely overwhelmed by the depths of your husband’s love. No more words were spoken between you and Sammy. He continued to rub your back and cry as well.
It was the first time since Ari’s death he had allowed himself to cry. He kept repeating to himself under his breath, “If only I had been faster. If only I had been faster.”
You didn’t notice his repetitions. You were too involved in your own grief at the knowledge that your beloved wasn’t coming home.
Through your tears, you looked down at your wrist where his name was etched into your skin to match what he used to have.
“Ari, are you sure this is a good idea?”
Your husband smiled at you, “Of course it is. Are you nervous?”
You nodded and he wrapped his arm around you, “Hey, I’ve got you. I will be right here. If you don’t want to do this, then you don’t have to.”
He pulled you into a hug and you whispered against his chest, “But the Torah is explicitly clear. We shouldn’t do this.”
Ari smiled, “I know what it says but I haven’t always been the best when it comes to following the laws of the Torah. How about this? How about I go in and get mine, then if you like it, you can do it? If you are still uneasy about it, then you don’t have to.”
You gave him a small smile, “Okay.”
A knock on the door caused Sammy to rise from the couch and he made his way to the door. Sammy opened it to find Jacob Wolf on the other side with Max Rose. Jacob spoke first, “How is she?”
“Come on in and see for yourself,” Sammy replied.
Both men stepped into the small home and followed Sammy back to you. Sammy returned to his place on your right while Jake sat down on your left. Max leaned against the doorframe and said nothing. Tentatively, Jake reached out to you, “Ari wanted me to give you this.”
He pulled something from his jacket and handed it to you. It was a letter. Wiping the tears away, you opened it. A picture fell from it. With trembling fingers, you picked up the old photograph. It was from your wedding day. Ari had looked so handsome. In the picture, he was twirling you around and the words on his wrist were visible. Y/N. My One and Only.
Tears fell down your cheek once more as you looked down at your own wrist. The ink was as dark on your skin as the day you had gotten them placed there. Ari. My One and Only. But Ari wasn’t here to match your tattoo. Not anymore. You let out a low wail and turned into Jake’s chest. Slowly, ever so slowly, he rubbed your back.
Sammy spoke once more, “Ari wanted me to tell you that he wants you to be strong. He wants you to find love again one day. But he also made me promise that I would look after you.”
Ari shivered as he lay in his own blood, his voice grew weaker, “Sammy.”
“What is it?”
A tear found its way down the dying man’s cheek, “Tell Y/N that I am sorry. I wish I could have come home. We had all these plans but now… well… it’s all pointless. Promise me that you will take care of her. She is going to hurt for a very long time and will need help. Tell her she was my one and only.”
“I’ll be there for her. I promise. I will try to talk to her and keep her safe. You know my friend; I remember the day you told me you met her. You were so in love instantly. Day after day, you spoke only about her. It made me happy to know you finally had found someone. We just need to make sure you get out of here. You will go home to her. I swear you will. ”
But Ari didn’t respond.
“Ari! ARI!”
You continued to sob into Jake’s chest. Max and Sammy spoke soft comforting words to you.
“Ima?” A tiny voice called out, “Where Abba?”
@joannaliceevans-fanficblog @patzammit @saiyanprincessswanie @dangerouspursepeachbear
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vampirefreakism · 2 years
Text
The Blue Princess (Chapter 6)
Summary: Luna begins her experiments and Loki is a little perturbed
Warnings: angst, some cutting
Word count: 3.8k
The AO3, Wattpad, and Spotify links are on the Masterlist
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A/N: got weird on my motivation here and there and also the summer class I’m finishing up is so hard but I found time to write here and there so here it is!
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Luna yawned as she carefully watched her step down the stairs. Once at the bottom, she checked the clock again out of nervous habit. In her mind, it was a packed day. First on her agenda was to conduct her first personal experiment concerning her newfound abilities. ‘The Guinea Pig Project,’ she so lovingly titled it in her notebook, but events much more profound were occurring. It was the beginning of her Becoming.
Second on the agenda was a call from her and Loki’s appointed lawyers. Tony’s message about them was vague, stating that they’d introduce themselves when the time came. They’d gracious volunteered their services, so Tony respected their decision and left them in temporary anonymity. Finding lawyers for two of the country's most wanted was hard enough, let alone having respectable ones that sought him out on purpose.
Luna set her things down on the kitchen island and wiped everything down with disinfectant: her knife, phone, notebook, counters, etc. She set the used towel aside, washed her hands for good measure, and opened her notebook. The page was already set up to start, so she loaded up the timer on her phone and held up her left arm. She rotated her forearm, deciding where to start, and cleaned the area just below the crook of her elbow.
Luna’s heart pounded as she held the knife to the light. It made no sense why she would be nervous. She’d done this countless times before. Perhaps it was because the place wasn’t private. With that in mind, she had to be quick. She pressed the blade to her skin and swiftly swiped it across, creating a two-inch cut, and started the timer the moment the knife left her arm.
Finger hovering over ‘pause,’ Luna’s gaze remained locked on her new wound. It barely had a chance to bleed before the surrounding skin tingled and flushed blue. She watched as the cut clotted, dried, and filled in with a new sliver of skin. She stopped the timer and rinsed off any excess dried blood. The water revealed only smooth skin holding no evidence of ever being injured.
Feeling triumphant, Luna checked the timer and wrote down the time and additional observations. Complete healing took a little over two minutes. She flipped back to a similar experiment from a few weeks prior and checked the time. A similar cut had taken nearly five minutes to heal. This was an incredible advancement in ongoing events. Now, all she needed was Loki to complete the second half of her experiment.
Luna thought about how to approach him. She’d left him while he was reading, only giving him the excuse that she would hang out downstairs. He’d hummed an affirmation, barely taking his eyes off the page. Touching her forearm, she decided to wait until he was ready to come down himself. He couldn’t be in the room all day, at least not until the mysterious lawyers were calling.
Luna staked her supplies and searched for a sensible snack to pass the time. Fruit was appealing as always, but she felt like indulging, so she picked the half-empty Lays chip bag and poured some into a bowl.
Snack in hand, she sashayed to the living room to pass the rest of the time away. The channel names flipped by as she clicked the remote arrows down one way and then the other. Her eye caught the title of a news program, and she backed up a few channels. It was one click away, and her thumb rested on the select button, but she decided against it. She didn’t need to hear whatever was being said.
As Luna crunched away on her chips, she stumbled across an old favorite and cracked a wide smile.
"Oh hell yeah, 'Evil Dead'!" she said and set down the remote to get cozy.
The movie was enjoyable as ever. Luna remained transfixed and delighted with its’ wild and flamboyant nature. Any excessive blood and gore only served to amuse her more, so much so that she didn't notice a certain someone coming down the stairs.
“Hello, darling,” they said, and Luna turned her head back.
“Hi! You’re down!” It was Loki in all his comfortable glory, still clad in his lounge pants and the shirt he got from Peter for Christmas.
“Yes,” he said as he climbed over the back of the couch and plopped down a seat away. “Reading got boring.” He beckoned her to come closer and pat his leg, letting her know where he wanted her.
Luna set her chip bowl down and crawled toward him. “I wouldn’t think a mystic arts book would get boring.” She lay down and rested her head on his lap.
“You’d be surprised.” Loki leaned to grab the bowl, took a chip for himself, and hand-fed Luna the rest. “What are you watching? ‘Evil Dead’?” He squinted at the television.
“Mhm. ‘Two.'" She held up two fingers, and Loki fed her another chip.
“Very nice,” he commented and watched on in content silence.
As the scenes rolled by, Luna rubbed her arm and thought about how to introduce the offer to him. Once Loki set the bowl down, she settled on a casual approach.
“Ooh, I need you for something real quick,” she said and slowly got up. “Come with me.”
“Alright,” Loki said as he stood up. “For what?”
“I’ll show you.”
Luna led the way to the kitchen. She had Loki stand by the kitchen island as she grabbed her stack of belongings and cleaned and set up the counter. Loki watched her busy about in silence, and he felt a pang of sentiment in his stomach. It was like they were back home, and it was just the two of them in the whole world.
“Ok, hold my hand like this,” Luna positioned Loki’s left hand to hold her wrist in a locking fashion, “and the timer in your other hand.” She handed him her phone with the timer screen on and at the ready. His brain slowly absorbed what she was telling him but hit a dead stop once she picked up the knife.
“Darling, put that down,” Loki softly commanded.
But Luna shrugged. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to cut my arm here-" she gestured to her left forearm, and Loki interrupted.
“I thought you stopped doing that.”
She sighed. “We’ll talk about that later. This is an experiment. You see, I have my supplies, methods, and ways to write it all down. Everything.” She motioned to the array of items she had set out.
“Ok.” Loki carefully looked over everything, then back at her. “What are you testing?”
“My healing time.” Luna shifted on her feet. “I hypothesize that there's something in a Frost Giant’s touch, particularly with each other. When I took the serum I made, I healed all my injuries in one night. And you said when that one Frost Giant touched your arm, it broke through the cloaking spell your father put on you.”
“Yeah,” Loki said thoughtfully.
Luna lowered her voice. “And when I touch you, I feel … something I can't describe. Even now, it's like a"
“A pull,” Loki finished for her.
“Yeah. I can’t ignore something so profound and unique.”
“Right.”
“So, today’s experiment is to test if I heal faster when I’m in physical contact with you. I've already done the first bit, so this is the only part where I need you.”
Loki nodded. “Ok.”
“Ok,” Luna repeated. “As soon as the blade leaves my skin, you hit that timer.” Loki nodded again and steadied himself.
Knife at the ready, Luna eyed her arm and cut in the same spot as she did earlier. Loki winced, feeling a twinge of pain in his own forearm, but he kept still. Per her instruction, as soon she lifted the blade, Loki pressed 'start' on the timer and kept a close watch on his lover's new wound. He was worried for her, but his worry melted as the barely-seeping cut clotted and filled in with new skin right before his eyes. He was so transfixed he nearly missed Luna's frantic pleas for him to stop the timer.
Luna took her phone from him and wrote down the time. Loki didn't even bother checking, but he heard her laugh and say, "Wow, almost half-time! Incredible!” and continue jotting down notes. Loki kept staring at her, particularly her unblemished arm, and when she set her pen down and stood up straight, he took it and rubbed her skin. Indeed, there was no cut or trace of an extra scar – only smooth inches of soft tan skin.
“See? Everything’s ok,” Luna said to reassure him, but he still appeared deep in thought. “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Loki said breathily. “Yeah, I’ll just, um, leave you to finish that.” He spared her one last thoughtful glance and exited the kitchen. He didn’t look back, no matter how powerful her gaze fell upon his head.
--------------------
Luna returned to her room, her things cradled tightly in her arms. She stopped just before the closed door and took a deep breath. The look Loki gave her was ever-present in her mind's eye, and she couldn't shake the icky feeling in her chest. But she had to face him.
She opened the door and casually walked in. Loki sat upon the bed, book open in his lap and appearing as though he was reading contently. He was so deep in his own head that he didn't even spare her a glance.
“Hey. You ok?” Luna said as she set her things down.
Loki’s gaze snapped up. “Hm? Yeah. Fine.” He settled his eyes back down to the page but didn’t bother to act like he was reading.
“Did my experiment bother you?”
He sighed and turned the page. “It’s what you have to do.”
“But did it bother you?” Luna leaned her hands on the foot of the bed. “I’d rather talk about it if it did.”
Loki flexed his jaw muscles and closed the book. “I just have trouble understanding.”
“What? You can tell me.” Luna rounded the bed and sat on the side.
Loki kept quiet, and his eyes averted. He thought and thought and thought some more, but his head swam with too many things to consider. So he settled on one for now.
“I don’t know why you’d want to explore this. It saved your life. Can’t you leave it at that?”
“Not really.” Luna shook her head. “It's a part of me now, and I want to understand it."
“But why? It’s not,” Loki stopped the last word from coming out, but Luna could almost hear it.
“Not what? Not good?” She had him caught. “You do know what you’re saying, right?” She stared him down, but he didn’t relent. Instead, she sighed and tightened her lips. “I think we should go on a walk. Right now.” She stood up. “Some fresh air and sunshine will do us some good.”
“But won’t those lawyers be calling us?”
She checked the time. "Not for a couple of hours, so we have plenty of time."
--------------------
Arm-in-arm, Luna walked with Loki into the dense woods surrounding the house. They made sure to keep a straight line away from the house to avoid getting lost. Birdsong and insect sounds filled the air, and Luna was right: Loki did need some sunshine and fresh air.
“We’re not out here because it’s nice, are we?” Loki asked.
“No. I mean, it is nice, but not only. I just feel like it’ll be better to talk about things out here.” Luna eyed the ground and pointed at something. "Oh, look! A mushroom!" She quickly walked over, pulling Loki with her, and stopped before it. "We can sit here. This little guy can be our mediator."
Loki stared at the mushroom as he sat down with Luna in front of him.
"It can't hear us or speak to us."
“Mm, yes, it can. It felt us walk on this path long before we saw it.” Luna gently touched the light-brown cap of the mushroom and scooted closer. “But we’re not out here to talk about mushrooms.”
“No.”
Luna rested her hands on her knees and took a deep breath.
"My experiment just now made you uncomfortable, and I'd like to understand why." Loki looked from her to the ground and fiddled with his hands. “Do you hate me for it?”
He snapped to attention, clearly offended by her question. “No! I could never hate you!”
"Ok." Luna nodded and shrugged. "Well, you hate something, and I don’t want you to hate it through me because that's what's going to end up happening if we don't talk about it right now.”
Loki swallowed nervously as she looked at him with anticipation. She was right. It’s not just his emotions on the line anymore; there were hers to consider too.
“We can figure it out together, ok?” she said, and he nodded. “We’re partners, which means we work together and talk things out. But you have to clue me in, or I'm going to start assuming things."
“What,” Loki said sheepishly, “what do you think?”
Luna pondered an answer. “I think it has something to do with either me being a Frost Giant now or you being a Frost Giant. Am I close?” Loki nodded. “Ok. Is it me that’s the problem?” He shook his head. “Ok. We can work with that.”
“Can we?”
“Yeah.” Luna nodded. “You told me you’re confused as to why I want to explore this. I take it you’re afraid of doing that.” Loki bent his head and didn’t respond, so she took it as a ‘yes.’ “That’s ok. I get it. I had to do all my self-exploration and unpacking by myself, but you don’t have to. You have me through it all. Trust me when I say that I understand what it’s like to be told that you’re evil and bad for what you are.”
“Do you really?” Loki said with an edge.
“Yes,” Luna said sharply. “Not just with the fact I’m queer – which you already know my mother hates me for.” She exhaled and swallowed anxiously. “Why do you think I don’t have an Indian first name?”
Loki blinked. “I like your name.”
"Yeah, it's nice, but I wasn't given an Indian one. You have your own generational trauma, and I have mine." She gestured to him, then to herself. “Now, I wasn’t stolen, but I was lied to and made to think I was inherently bad.”
She waited for a response but got only silence.
“I wasn’t brought up to see myself as Indian. I was brought up to see it as flippant, that it means nothing to no one, and I’m only here to be someone else’s pretty thing. For years, I thought I’d be fine with that, but I was fractured.” Luna presents her left hand. “I wanted to belong to my father’s side of the family, but they don’t like that I'm brown, and I look it.” She switches and presents her right hand. “Then I think I can find belonging in my mother’s side, but they don’t like that I want to be proud of where I come from.” She drags her thumbnail down the middle of her chest. “I am split down the middle of who I’m supposed to be, so no matter what I do, I always do the wrong thing.”
She sighed. “Now, this isn’t about me, it’s about you, and I don’t want to talk over you, but does any of that sound familiar?”
Loki glanced down and nodded.
“Yeah.” Luna nodded as well. “I try for years to be good, and for who? People who are going to hate you at the end of the day, no matter what? It’s stupid, is what it is.”
“Pointless,” Loki said. “My father never really told me he loved me.”
Luna lifted a hand. “See? And what kind of guy was he?”
"A liar. Probably where I got it from." Loki chuckled. "And a killer, and a thief. He stole not just me and the Casket but gold from across the Realms to build the palace I slept in. Then he covered it all up and spread lies about being a harbinger of peace." He clenched his teeth. “He lied to Thor, lied about my sister, and lied about sending all the Valkyrie to their deaths.”
“Hold on. Isn’t one still alive?”
"Just the one. A miracle she survived."
Luna nodded. “I bet she hates Odin too.”
“That’s probably the thing that’s kept her alive all these years.”
“Hate’s a powerful emotion.” Luna fiddled with the grass. “But what I’m hearing is that your father isn’t someone you should listen to and find guidance from.”
Loki bowed his head. “Yeah.”
“So whatever he’s told you about being a Frost Giant is a lie.” Luna saw him hesitate again, and she leaned in. “Loki, it’s a lie. The things that make you up aren't bad. That’s what I had to figure out by myself. I also listened to my father when I was young, and what did it get me? A broken heart like yours. They claim they know more about us than we ever could, but that's not true.” She paused and leaned back. “I wager Odin never really cared to know the Frost Giants. He only cared enough to spread disgusting stories about them and knowingly make you afraid of yourself so you’ll go along with whatever he wants.”
“But what if I do look, and he's right?" Loki said, his voice growing agitated. "What if I go looking, and he was right all along? What if I really am just Laufey’s son, heir to a throne of nightmares and death?” His eyes swam with tears. “Do you know what that would mean for us?” he whispered as a tear fell from his lash.
“Yes.” Luna paused and leaned in. “But that’s not your burden to bear, and you don’t have to base your life off that. Just go off of this feeling right here -” she reached and gently took his hand “- the feeling I get when I hold your hand,” she held his gaze, “and look into your eyes.”
“Oh,” Loki breathed out, holding Luna’s hand tighter. She reached up and brushed the rest of his tears away.
“Mhm,” she hummed. “That doesn’t come from anyone but you. The best thing for you to do is feel it. Really feel it, and use that to guide you.” She closed her eyes and concentrated on his touch. Loki moved to hold her other hand and closed his eyes as well. She let the soft tingle under her skin grow and stretch before speaking again, “What is it like?”
“It’s … good,” Loki whispered.
Luna smiled, though he couldn’t see it. “Feels good to me too.”
She cracked an eye open and looked down. Their intertwined hands glistened with icy dewdrops upon soft cerulean skin. Loki snuck a peek in secret, and his breath caught in his throat, but he held her hand tighter. He met Luna's gaze again and saw only patience and tender love behind her sparkling eyes.
“Feeling good when you’re not supposed to is scary, I know,” Luna said, “but you don’t have to explore it alone. I want to learn too, and what we find will only make me love you more.” Luna shrugged. “Besides, you’ll be proving Odin completely wrong.”
Loki’s mouth curved into a sly grin. “Oh, now that’d be very nice.”
“Yeah?” Luna said, biting her lip. “Either way, you can’t lose.” She brushed some of his hair over his shoulder. “Feel any better?”
Loki nodded. “Very much.” He kissed her forehead and leaned his against hers. “Thank you.”
“Of course, baby.” Luna stroked his hair again. “It’ll all be ok. We’re in this together.”
She let his hand go and scooted to sit beside him and rest her head on his shoulder. Loki took her hand again and rubbed the back with his thumb.
“You said you don’t have an Indian first name?” he asked.
“Yeah, I got stuck with a middle name. That’s ‘allowed.’” Luna made finger quotes. “I like it, though.”
“Oh? Well, what is it?” Loki gently bumped her with his arm, making her smile.
“Surya, after the Sun deity.”
"Surya," he repeated and rested his head on top of hers. “It’s perfect.”
--------------------
Loki and Luna sat side-by-side, hands planted firmly on their knees as they stared at Luna’s cellphone. It was turned off and silent, but they were awaiting a very important call.
“When did he say he’d call again?” Loki muttered.
“Between 3 and 4 in the afternoon,” Luna replied.
“Hm.” Loki glanced at the time. “It’s nearly 4.”
“Mm,” was all Luna could muster. With nothing else to say, they resumed their anxious staring.
Luna's eyes started to hurt, but as she reached to rub them, her phone rang. She and Loki jumped at the burst of sound, and Loki answered with the speakerphone. The second of silence on the other line made the couple exchange a look, so Luna was pushed to speak first.
“He-hello?”
“Hello,” said a man on the other line. “Am I speaking to, um, Luna Fields?”
“Yes, you are. I have Loki next to me, too, if that’s ok.” She gestured to Loki purely from nerves.
“Hello,” Loki greeted.
“And you’re on speakerphone.”
“That’s fine. We’re calling for both of you anyway,” their caller affirmed. “Before we go over anything, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Matthew Murdock of Murdock & Nelson.”
“And I’m the Nelson part of the firm, first name Franklin,” said a second voice.
“We caught wind of your case and decided to volunteer our services. Mr. Stark has taken care of your legal fees, so all we ask of you is your cooperation, and we'll help you get your problems straightened out.”
Luna was at a loss for words. “Wow, this is so generous of you. Thank you.”
“Oh, please. It’s our pleasure to help those in need,” Matthew said.
“But the money doesn’t hurt,” Foggy chimed, bringing an amused smile to their faces.
“No, of course. I’m glad there’s something here for you,” Luna responded and wrung her hands. “But, I have to ask: why help us?”
“We like to help people,” Foggy answered, “the kind of people others might look over or stick with a raw deal.”
“There isn’t a person on this planet who isn’t aware of your history, Loki,” Matthew said, “but I’m inclined to believe that you didn’t come to Earth again under malicious pretenses.”
“Not to offend, but why do you think so?” Loki asked.
“Second chances. I believe everyone should get the opportunity of a second chance – at peace and life – and something tells me you needed one here.”
----------
A/N: I would like to clarify that I do have an Indian first name (specifically a Hindi one), but when my mother gave me that name, her side of the family didn’t like it very much. Yeah, the Indian side of my family disapproved of me having an Indian name. Weird, right?
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Taglist: @the-doctor-9-10 @pinkieperil @pinkie-ghuleh @wreckache @will-die-without-chai @marvelschriss @hornybitchwithgoodtaste @fantasyfan4life
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shotorozu · 3 years
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encountering a ‘pick me’ girl
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character(s) : kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki (bnha)
warning : PICK ME GIRL, misogyny (?) pick me girl makes an off handed comment about your body but it’s not detailed at all
PART TWO — PART THREE
legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned
headcanon type : fluff, angst if you squint
note(s) : i made 2 versions of this post so,, if you’re reading this— then i probably decided that i liked this one more than the other one i made,, anyways, i used real life examples 💀
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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kirishima eijirou
i’d imagine that eijirou would have an idea of what a pick me girl is— i mean, there were probably 2 of those girls in middle school
but has he experienced it first hand? nahh.
though, eijirou didn’t think he’d encounter one when he was already in a healthy and committed relationship!
eijirou is practically friends with everyone— and yeah, even the most unexpected. so, he’s bound to accidentally befriend a pick me girl
him, being the nicest one out of all of the characters in this list, will still be nice to said pick me girl, despite wanting to snob them to the core
because really— you can’t really fight fire with fire in some cases
but, he can be everything but lenient when the pick me girl starts insulting you for doing certain things, and for absurd reasons too
like,, how you laugh, and how you take care of yourself (for example— if you wear makeup, or how you style your hair)
which is odd! everything about you is everything but the things the pick me girl has stated so.. he cannot stand by.
SCENARIO
the girl giggles to herself after that snide comment leaves her lip gloss coated lips. eijirou shifts uncomfortably— honestly taken aback by the anything but subtle insult that was thrown at you
“like.. seriously! it’s honestly quite superficial if you look at it like that. who the hell would put that much effort infront of your boyfriend? i’d assume they’d see everything AND everything but.. i guess not.”
you blink. superficial? now that’s a new one. the girl infront of you has been babbling insults sugarcoated in boasts the entire time, and you’re just wondering if it’s about time you guys leave but—
“well that’s unfair,” your boyfriend laughs, “i put the same amount of effort as this cutie right here,” eijirou pokes at your cheek, earning a quick laugh from you— which he can only thank the heavens for that
“but that’s different. it actually looks put together when you’re doing it, eiji.” the certain glint in her smile makes you want to wipe it right off with a dirty mop, “it’s impossible to look put together with expensive clothes, but being built like a—”
the sound of the sliding of a chair is quicker than your actions, and it easily cuts her off.
“i’m sorry, but we gotta go, it’s totally not cool of you to say those things about Y/N!”
“what? but i mean.. it’s true, right? i’m looking out for them! they’re literally out here l—”
“bye!” eijirou waves her goodbye with your hand, dismissing the sour expression on her face— as he dashes off with you
you’d question how he’s just so nice to people like that, but when he turns around, you could see the distaste in his eyes
“so that’s what a pick me girl’s like,” shaking his head, his expression lights up with such a quick manner “i’ll never make friends that are like that again!”
safe to say, eijirou’s friend list has been a a person shorter ever since that incident
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bakugou katsuki
oh, so that girl’s bold bold.
if she thinks she could get away with being a not so subtle pick me girl infront of bakugou katsuki, then she couldn’t be more wrong.
it’s absolutely revolting— i mean, he hasn’t displayed any romantic feelings towards ANYONE that isn’t you.
also, they’re quite gutsy if you ask me. so congrats for having guts??
i don’t think he’d be friends with a pick me girl. he’s very selective of who he’s befriending, so it’s probably your friend that’s the pick me girl in this case
he wouldn’t know what a pick me girl would be, but he’d probably know the description of one.
over some time, he’d grow some resistance to insults directed at him, but when someone insults his s/o
oh boy. that’s not good. remember when i said that katsuki was almost like your scary and intimidating dog
this is what i mean
knows he can’t make a scene, so his first option is to be dismissive asf— but if said pick me girl literally can’t get it, he won’t be afraid of shoving some explosions into her face
because his hands are rated e for everyone
SCENARIO
“so you wanna be picked or something, is that it?” he hates how you literally have the resistance of a rock— which is something he always liked, but in this case hated. if it weren’t for you— he would’ve blasted explosions into her sorry excuse of a face until it’s beyond recognition (that wouldn’t be hero like, is what you’ve said in the past, but he disagrees.)
but seriously? ugh. he just wants to leave this horrid place, and make some dinner with you in the comfort of his home. why are you even friends with her anyway? she’s not even trying to be slick at this point.
“p-picked? i’m not understanding, katsu.”
“it’s bakugou.”
“right,” her laughter is like nails on chalkboard, “i’m just watching out for Y/N, y’know? there’s no point in wearing all of that.. on their face.” and she’s obviously referring to your obviously very well done makeup
“it’ll make your skin terrible in the long run! and really— i couldn’t really understand on why someone would wear that much, when you could survive with i dunno.. lip gloss at most?”
you would’ve actually said something as a rebuttal, but your boyfriend is quicker, and a lot more direct than anyone else in the area.
“just say you can’t do makeup and fucking scram,” katsuki’s ice cold glare finally breaks out of the act he’s been trying to hold together for you
“their makeup is fucking bomb as hell, compared to your ridiculous spider lashes, lady. come back when you’ve watched james charles’ entire fucking channel.” he harshly states in similar bakugou fashion, despite the lack of screaming.
and if you squinted hard enough, you could see tears welling up in her eyes. but katsuki tugs your hand before anything else could be said
“let’s fucking go, you need better friends.”
he makes you cut ties with all of them, and he practically scolds your terrible choice of friends— but he goes quiet when you tell him that you’ve been friends with her since middle school
“good fucking riddance. next time, i’ll punch them as soon as they say something outta line, got that?” and next time (hopefully, there won’t be a next time) you’ll actually lash out— or maybe,, you’ll let him loose for once.
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todoroki shouto
now shouto might be,, socially unaware sometimes. but he can tell whenever someone’s trying to insult his s/o
like,, right away.
now— you both run into this person after a pleasant date, and she eagerly presented herself as your friend
so, her attitude catches him off guard because who’d have anything rude to say about you and towards shouto’s face? especially when it’s about something normal.
like,, wasn’t she your friend?? why is she even like this?
his hostility is very well known, so they should be scared.
he gets detached from the conversation, and he’ll immediately go cold— and shouto would probably go as far as walking away with your hand in his
doesn’t matter if he properly says goodbye or not— if a girl’s being rude to his s/o, they obviously don’t deserve his usually polite attitude. nope, that’s a luxury.
oh— and what more when they’re seeking for his validation. newsflash! said pick me girl won’t be get any from him.
SCENARIO
shouto couldn’t stop the bitterness bleeding into his mouth, when the girl in front of him continued to babble and take up the valuable time he had left with his s/o
initially, she presented herself as your friend from middle school— but as of now? she seems to be more interested in him more than you, despite knowing you first.
she’d ask him a string of obvious questions with very obvious answers, like ‘is she treating you well?’ ‘is she acting correctly?’ and questions of the sort
“oh, sorry! i’d hate to cut this conversation short, but—” you finally decide that it was about time to leave, while shouto looks pretty,, deadpanned right now, you could tell that he was gradually starting to get irritated by your friend’s words.
“wait. thats.. kind of controlling, don’t you think? do you ever let shou make decisions?”
“uh.. controlling? since when??” you question at the accusation. this girl knows nothing about your relationship dynamic, and she’s already jumping the gun and making conclusions.
your gaze snaps back to shouto, who looks just as surprised as he could possibly be.
“yeah! it clearly looks like he still wants to talk” which is an obvious lie, shouto just wants it out of here “i wonder how you managed to snag such a guy like him,” she comments with a smile that looked anything above suspicion (yet, it makes your stomach churn)
you could see the way her hand gets gradually closer to him— and frankly, you’re not sure about what she was planning to do next, “you wouldn’t need to dress all expensive and fancy, if you’re with a girl with an already classy appear—”
“i think this conversation is over,” shouto grip is firm on the wrist that was attempting to grab his shoulder, shouto makes no attempt to even look at the girl infront of him “i don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not humorous. at all.”
“what?” she stammers, drawing her hand back “i-it’s obvious they don’t know how to take a joke! this is why there are barely any good w—”
shouto’s next actions knocks her speechless, his hand rests at the small of your back, before gently guiding you forward— “love, what movie are we watching later?” he says, making an effort to press a quick, yet intense kiss on your lips
“oh,” you breathe out, surprised by this action. “don’t be so tense, love.” shouto comments on how tense your shoulders have looked, ever since she started running her mouth, “now.. what movie do you want to watch tonight? comedy? thriller?”
“you pick,” you laugh at the quick shift of topic. and when you look behind you, you could see shame and defeat welling up on her face. shouto finally feels like he could smile again, the bitterness dissipating from his mouth
after shouto questions you if that was what a pick me girl was, he makes sure that you guys won’t ever encounter such thing again
“you.. don’t have more friends like that, right? if you do— we could always do another friend list cleansing.” this statement makes you laugh but shouto is anything but joking
but being reminded of his reaction to that ‘pick me’ girl does puts a smile on your face.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission
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chocosvt · 3 years
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love café
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⚬ pairing: jeonghan x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 17.6K ⚬ warnings: some vulgar language, i guess! ⚬ genres: big time nsfw, dirty talk, lap dances, quickies, bath shenanigans, exhibitionism, overstim - you get what i mean. big ole romance, angst, fluff, jeonghan is very rich and very hot, joshua has a not so subtle crush on you. 
✧✎ synopsis: while you’ve spent the last few months pretending the love café doesn’t exist, you realize you need its services now more than ever. this brings you face to face with jeonghan, the son of a luxury fashion designer who’s got money to burn. your exchanges are strictly business. until they’re not. 
✧✎ a/n: YES, ANOTHER REWRITE. the original love café was just so unsalvageable that i almost fully wiped its plot, minus the actual concept of the café. so, this should read as fairly new! I HOPE U ENJOY IT !!
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It’s not that you were desperate. Because you weren’t.
You were actually more than desperate at this point, and no longer could you sit on that uneven couch with the broken leg, staring at the chipped paint, listening to your neighbours’ screams, believing you should continue like this. More than anything, you were shortchanging yourself. There was no point in holding onto that little string of hope in which those employers might phone you back. It would be impossible to contact your family when you had affirmatively cut ties with them ages ago. And, it was becoming increasingly foolish to ignore your one saving grace, just a street over from your rundown complex.
But, could you really commit to it? Would anyone even be able to look at you and think you were someone desirable enough to reward?
Those thoughts often hung over you like a dark cloud, and poured down so heavily that you were metaphorically drenched, in your own pessimism. However, on that day, you were beyond patience with the cards you’d been dealt. Such a despairing apartment, with all its bugs and drafts and horrible neighbours, could not be your brightest and most fortunate future. There had to be something you could do.
Even if it meant going to the Love Café.
In other words, an easy gig to financial heaven, in exchange for sexual pleasures of course. You walked into your bedroom and sat down in front of the wooden vanity, clicking on a dim, flickering bulb to help illuminate your face as well as its lifeless expression which stared back at you. It didn’t take more than ten minutes to pat your skin with some emptying makeup and thinning pans of eyeshadow. Then, you fixed up your hair and chose a simple, mute-coloured dress from your closet, immediately swallowed by the large winter coat you cozied into.
You hurried quickly down the corridor, ignoring the muffled shouts from your argumentative neighbours bleeding through the nickel-thin walls, past the barking dog which jumped against the door, scratching its nails whenever you waited for the elevator, and you didn’t even spare one glance at the very strange man who always hovered in the central lobby and watched you ignore his coos every single day. By the time you arrived outside the Love Café, you were breathing like a marathon runner. Despite the cold weather, you felt a sweat run like a breeze down your temple as you wiped your face before heading inside.
The space felt warm. Everything was red, pink, or white. And when you inhaled, the air smelled like a note of rose petals and candy. It was surprisingly easy to sign up for a ‘Love Card’ at the front desk.
“This card has twelve punches per service with your partner. If, by the end of the twelfth punch, you’re not looking to pursue something serious with this individual, you can pay for another Love Card. If you do manage to find, ‘the one’, then congratulations, and well wishes. Since you’re a first-time client, you get twenty-five percent off your first card.”
Whoever the lady was, she seemed less than enthusiastic as she pushed a cherry-red paper across the counter with a finely manicured nail. You thought she must have given this spiel so many times, the script probably haunted her in her sleep. Nonetheless, you thanked her, and heeded her direction when she advised you to choose any of the free tables, marked with a pale rose. For some reason, you picked the very last table amongst the row and slid yourself onto the uncomfortable, white chair, the metal back moulded into the shape of a heart.
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Whoever reserved the table wasn’t exactly punctual. About half an hour after being seated, ordering yourself a tea, and examining the different clients who filtered in and out the café, you were beginning to assume the worst. That they cancelled. Flaked. Decided to pull from the service and direct their affluence elsewhere. As you titled the last few droplets of tea around the base of the cup, feeling utterly depressed and bored, you heard the little bells clink above the door, followed by a gasp from the employee at the front desk. Considering her microscopic range of emotion, you figured whoever entered must be some flawless rarity.
“Jeonghan!” She fixed her slouched position. “I wasn’t aware you made a reservation today. I haven’t seen your name in the system.”
“No worries. I set an anonymous appointment the night before. After all the chaos I caused last time, I figured it’s best to stay under the radar. I know I’m late. I was finishing up a term paper.”
“That’s quite all right. Here, I’ll just quickly renew your information. One moment… Okay, Yoon Jeonghan, you’re all set.”
At that, your eyes practically bulged right into the teacup. You’d heard his name in some conversations with a few university friends, before you had dropped your program. His father was an inventive in the fashion industry for nearly a decade, and his brand was considered high-end luxury, with people forking up the big bucks just to wear a piece from the collection. His mother recently begun a perfume company. In fact, you had a bottle from her Sunrise series sitting on your vanity, though you used each spritz very sparingly considering its outrageous price point. According to the most recent gossip, Jeonghan had ended his relationship with a model who’d been strutting his father’s cloths.
You couldn’t believe he was here.
No – even worse, you couldn’t believe he was making his way toward your table. It had to be some sort of mistake. How could it be that you chose to sit here? Was the universe attempting another cruel joke?
His visual seemed even more daunting outside his photographs in the magazines. Beyond a glossy page, he was softer. Thick hair, shiny and dark brown, which swooped beneath his ears and parted smoothly at the forehead. His lips were the same shade as the windowsill roses, as well as the high arches in his cheeks. But then, he was sharper too, with a trim, angular jaw and such a defined yet judgemental brow. You had expected anyone else but him. And now, this esteemed, much too beautiful man had come to the very last table, wearing an expression of waning curiosity. Or, as you interpreted it, clear-glass disappointment.
Before Jeonghan seated himself, he untucked his phone from his coat pocket and clicked a side button to check the time. He then sniffled, looked straight at the wall, and sighed. Despite your now devoted wish to disappear, you attempted to begin a conversation that wouldn’t backfire.
“Yoon Jeonghan. I’ve heard the name. It’s nice to meet you.”
He settled one arm on the table, tapping his fingernails.
“Yeah. I’m guessing you’re not a regular here—” he then peered over at your bright red Love Card placed by the teacup to say your name.
Bouncing your leg underneath the table, you nodded. “No, not really. I’ve been debating for a while if this was a choice I should make, but I can’t seem to have ends meet doing anything else. So, I came here.”
Already, Jeonghan looked painfully bored. He stopped tapping his fingers and leaned his chin against the hand instead. You knew it was the insecurity barking. Unnecessarily, you apologized to him.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m probably not the woman you’re expecting and I get that. I wouldn’t be all that offended if you wanted to save the Love Card for someone else or—”
Out of the blue, Jeonghan laughed, though he attempted to mute the sound by digging the bend of his index finger between his teeth. Your sentence trailed off with an awkward, dying breath. He suddenly leaned back in his metal seat, shaking his head apologetically and pulling back some of the soft hairs from his eyes. You felt utterly confused.
“Sorry, sorry,” he smiled, “didn’t mean to discourage you there, sweetheart. I’ve just never had someone apologize for—well, their looks.”
“I-I don’t know,” you lunged for damage control, “I just thought you seemed disappointed and I… Well, I haven’t done this before, so I don’t really know all that well how it works. I… I should stop talking…”
It felt as though someone had swatted both your cheeks in an iron-slap, because the skin was stinging hot like never before. You knew he was staring at you, probably thinking to himself that you were a train wreck waiting to happen. Afterward, an employee visited the table to collect your emptied teacup, and asked Jeonghan if he’d like anything to drink. Refusing to look elsewhere but the clenched fists in your lap, you waited for the employee to leave once Jeonghan rejected the offer. He’d pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket. Uncapping the pen with his teeth, you watched him sloppily scribble something down.
“My number.” He said, sliding it across the table. “Listen, I’ve gotta go home and proofread that term paper before I submit it. Just send me a text, okay? I won’t be free for a few days, anyways.”
“Oh, okay.” You sniffled.
Quite frankly, you couldn’t comprehend that he was still interested in pursuing something venereal, even when you had embarrassed yourself like a circus act. He rose quickly from the table and wrapped the waistband of his coat tight around his small waist.
Staring down at the paper, you blurted out, “are you sure?”
Jeonghan titled his head. “Am I sure of what?”
“Never mind.” You answered. “I’ll text you later.”
“Okay.” He nodded, on the verge of walking away when he abruptly stopped himself. “Are you always this nervous?”
Caught off guard by his question, your elbow whacked the edge of the table and you meekly stuttered, “I-I don’t know…”
You were more than positive he was going to ghost all your texts.
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To a degree, you were correct.
Over the course of the following week, you sent Jeonghan at least three texts, each on separate days, only to be rewarded with a demotivating lack of responses. You knew he was a busy individual who probably didn’t have much time to waste on promiscuous affairs, let alone a committed relationship. So, you tried very earnestly to not feel upset or unimportant at his methods – even despite the series of required payments glaring you down from those white envelopes scattered atop the kitchen table.
And then, during the black, late hours of a snowy Friday, you received a reply. A surprisingly urgent one which detailed that you make it to the downtown Opal Studio before eleven o’clock, as there would be a backdoor entrance left unlocked for your access. He mentioned a storage closet underneath a staircase, worded very sternly as: … Wait inside, and do not make yourself known. I’ll see you there shortly, and ensure you leave without being spotted. Uncertain of what the situation would entail, you phoned a cab and payed the driver using some remaining funds from a paper note purse. The studio’s front was a smooth, velvet black, with a wide window which illuminated several mannequins wearing Mr. Yoon’s newest issue. Each outfit cost a pretty penny.
Like you anticipated, Jeonghan was late to meet you in the storage closet; however, you were at no point going to scold his blatant disregard for scheduling when he’d pressed you tight against the door looking the way he did. Buttons popped down the chest of his unwrinkled dress shirt, sleeves cuffed to his elbows, and his neat, styled hair beginning to dishevel around those intense eyes. He braced his hand beside your head, studying your lips as though they were glittering.
“Can I kiss you?” Jeonghan asked. The question seemed to rumble from deep in his throat and you felt your knees weaken.
You nodded immediately, allowing his hand to frame the side of your cheek as his warm, soft mouth nudged against yours. It was gentle for a fleeting touch, and then there was pressure, teeth, a slick tongue running across your bottom lip and leaving you in such a sensual daze that you just stood there with a parted mouth. Jeonghan definitely knew what he wanted from you in that moment. And he wanted it quick. You were flipped around, chest pushed against the door, skirt hiked up impatiently as the fabric ruffled around your hips. His hand slid between your thighs to rub you through the thin pair of underwear, pressing firmly enough that you could feel the cold, thick rings on his fingers.
Eagerly, you began a slow gyration of grinding against Jeonghan’s touch while simultaneously biting down hard on your bottom lip, knowing embarrassingly well that you were already sticky and soaking and ready for him to use you like a designated fucktoy. He was rather flush to your backside as he dug the heel of his palm against your clit, so much yet not enough between the cotton. Something about his scent was beyond arousing, and it gripped to him like a web. An expensive cologne no doubt, mature, raw, and ocean-fresh. You heard the sound of his belt being whipped open, followed by a zipper.
“Alright,” Jeonghan hummed, passing a hand up his length, “let’s make this quick. Gotta be back upstairs in five to finish the measurements and tapering and all that boring shit. Now, just be a good, quiet little girl for me, sweetheart, and this’ll be a cake walk.”
Your mouth stretched into a low, whiny groan as Jeonghan held your underwear aside and began to sink inside of you, his hips stalled against your skin. His light breath then fluttered at your ear, “bet you’d make such a perfect toy to keep my cock nice and warm. Feels so perfect, being this deep inside you, sweetheart.” He shuddered against you, thrusting once, twice, slowly and teasingly dragging himself out before ramming right back in to pinch you against the door.
“Fuck,” he cursed between his teeth, “life would be so much easier if I could just keep you right here on my cock, wouldn’t it, baby?”.
Undoubtedly, that smooth-talking tongue of his was going to be an impending problem. You don’t know where he got off exactly on such scandalous thoughts, but you were too consumed in your own lust to care. The way he fucked you against that door with one hand scraping at your hip and the other wrapped up your throat, fingers pressing hot into your drooling mouth to keep you quiet, it was more bliss than a one-way ticket to Eden. Jeonghan timed his orgasm appropriately, slipping himself from your warmth at the last second and finishing himself off using the hand which had been maintaining your silence. His breaths were slow but husky in the aftermath, his fingers painted in cum.
“You wouldn’t want to use that pretty mouth of yours to clean this, would you?” He laughed.
Before you could respond, Jeonghan had grabbed some paper towels left to sit on a shelf and cleaned the mess himself. Then, as though nothing had happened, he asked if you were carrying that damn Love Card before you could even flatten down the wrinkles in your skirt. You grabbed the small note purse you set down next to the paper towels and revealed the obnoxiously coloured card. Jeonghan smiled.
“That’s the one.” He took a dry erase marker from the shelf and wrote his initials in the first circle.
“Here,” Jeonghan proceeded to offer back the card, “one session down. I need to scram. The hall should be clear at this hour, but have a cab ready just in case you need to bolt fast. Oh—before I go, you got the money to pay the driver? It’s no problem if you’re short. I can cover.”
“N-No, I should have enough.” You answered.
“Cool. I’ll transact you tonight.” Jeonghan nodded, tucking in his shirt rather poorly before slipping past you to exit the storage closet.
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One week later, you were at the entrance to the library, pulling open the door with a big, cold huff. It was much warmer inside. You were beginning to feel the tips of your stiff fingers again.
Despite your service at the Love Café, you wanted one last time to test your luck on a receptionist position at the downtown hair salon, simply because you would think better of yourself if you weren’t relying chiefly on Jeonghan to pay your bills. His last transaction had been more than you anticipated. Finally, you were able to erase that huge electricity bill, and you still had enough of the money left over to supply some warm meals for the next few days. If you could just submit your newest resume to the salon, then you might be able to permanently cover the groceries.
Except, you needed access to a computer.
Ever since you tipped over a glass of water onto your old laptop, it had stopped working properly, and the library was the only place close by which let you use the computer room without fees. However, as you peered in through the backroom window to find an open space, you realized just how crammed full it was. Judging by everyone’s intense typing and unblinking eyes, you weren’t going to steal a seat anytime soon, which pulled out a frustrated sigh as you fiddled with the USB in your pocket. You thought about heading home, until you saw Jeonghan.
He was seated at the distant left corner, leaned back comfortably in the chair while he examined something on his laptop. A gym bag was slid underneath the table, and he was dressed as though he had some sort of sports practice; quite the contrary to his usual crisp, ironed shirts and heavy winter coats courtesy of brands you couldn’t pronounce. He seemed concentrated, chewing on his thumb nail while he tapped the touch pad. In fact, he didn’t notice that you had approached him until you said his name quietly from across the table and his eyes flickered.
“Uh, hey.” Jeonghan replied, sounding bothered while he pushed his thumb harshly against his bottom lip. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“And I didn’t expect to see you.”
He shrugged, maintaining his uninterested glance on the laptop screen. “Well, I’m looking over some notes. Last minute stuff.”
You nodded. “What’s with the duffle bag?”
“My friend Joshua – he’s been making me coach this Peewee soccer team with him at the Greenfield Dome.” Jeonghan puffed out his chest, letting an arm fall loosely to his side. “Those kids are insane. They have too much energy. I shouldn’t have let that bastard sweet talk me.”
At that, you giggled, though immediately hushed yourself when the librarian came by with a metal cart, filled with books to shelve. You stepped around the table to move out of her way. Jeonghan pulled out the chair beside him using his foot and nodded that you take a seat.
“What are you doing here?” He asked.
You reached into your pocket and pulled out the USB.
“I need to upload my new resume. I mean, I probably won’t hear anything back from this place, ‘cause that’s how it usually goes. But, whatever. Thing is, I busted my laptop, and now the computer room is filled up. I���ll just come back later and hope it’s cleared out.” Staring down at your shoes, you avoided Jeonghan’s gaze. “I know I’m doing this Love Café stuff, but it would still be nice to have my own income, you know?”
“I get that.” He replied, scratching at his collarbone. “I’ve already got my laptop here and everything. You can use it, if you want.”
“Really?” You smiled wide. “Thanks.”
Jeonghan closed a few tabs that he’d been rotating between before sliding his laptop over to you. Wriggling the memory stick into the small slot at the side, you logged into your email account through the main search engine. As long as you could send your resume to the salon before they closed their application deadline, then you would hope for the absolute best, even if it was an unstimulating, lacklustre gig answering phones and scheduling hair appointments all day. Just as you went to drag the file into your email, Jeonghan’s laptop froze.
“Uh, Jeonghan,” you whispered, “nothing’s moving. Do I just wait? Does this normally happen? Did I screw something up?”
He shook his head and laughed. “Relax, relax. It’s been doing that a lot recently. I figured out if you hold down these keys—” Jeonghan suddenly scooted his chair in very close, his thigh pressing against yours as he reached a hand underneath your arm, the other lightly nudging your fingers off the keyboard, “then it goes back to normal. See?”
“O-Oh, yeah. It’s working.” You stuttered, not all staring at the specific keys he clicked because the side of his face was much too pretty.
Granting you access to the keyboard again, Jeonghan leaned away, though he didn’t move his thigh from yours even an inch. It was almost concerning how flustered you felt. Jeonghan had literally pinned you against a closet door and fucked his own hand right in front of you, and yet, your heart was fluttering tenfold. In a much different way. And it lit this spark of fear and adrenaline at the core of your chest like gasoline hitting a wicked flame. You detached the USB stick, logged yourself out from the email account, and moved quickly off the seat.
In a hurried breath, you said, “thanks so much!” and proceeded to leave the library as though someone were trailing you with a pitchfork.
While it was embarrassing, you knew it was necessary. There was no way you were going to crush on that boy. It was strictly business.
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Tired. Aching.
Uncomfortable moisture covering the slopes and divots of your body. You didn’t think there was anything left inside you for him to so commandingly take, like his name were inked to your each and every limb. And yet, Jeonghan wasn’t ready to let you rest. The mattress dipped behind you, the heat of his chest sticking to your back, the weight of his erection pressed right at your tailbone. While his lips kissed softly up your neck, Jeonghan slid his hand in between your thighs to continue pleasuring you, ignoring the responsive whimpers attached to your sensitivity. He’d already brought you to two orgasms, though you were sensing the overbearing rush of a third.
An index and middle finger slid down to your entrance, the contact beyond slippery, a sort of wet velvet, and you hardly recognized the sensation unlike the first time he’d touched you. Jeonghan hooked the digits deep, using the heel of his palm to rub a thorough friction against your clit. Working faster and faster, his laboured breaths fanned hot across your neck while he sharply concentrated on making you starry-eyed. It was pain. It was bliss. It was exactly what you wanted most and everything you couldn’t endure at the same time. You came heavily, screamed as the pulsation at your core felt almost violent.
Unable to fully ride out the pleasure, you attempted to curl away from Jeonghan, hiding your face in the pillows and further tilting your hips. However, the boy followed your movement. He stayed snug to your back, practically leaned over top you with the latter arm braced next to your head while his hand pounded and pounded. The amount of liquid gushing onto his fingers and spilling down his wrist felt almost comical, and you were certain that you had never orgasmed so intensely in your life. To make matters worse, it seemed as though he’d taken that little memory box in your head filled with all your language and tossed it right out the damn window. You couldn’t form one word other than sobs.
Jeonghan breathed a light, shaky chuckle beside your ear. “Trying to run from me, sweetheart? When I can make you feel so good? Look at how much you can take, honey. Such a good girl when you cum so fucking hard ‘round my fingers I can barely move them.”
The sound of his digits sliding out from your entrance was the most impure, salacious noise you didn’t know could exist. Rolling slowly onto your back, you saw the immediate coating on Jeonghan’s hand and the drops beading down his wrist. He caught one with his tongue, licking all the way back up like he was cleaning the juice from a melted popsicle, and you almost couldn’t watch him. In fact, you were exhausted. There wasn’t anything left for you to offer, and the thought of moving from his bed when your core felt this utterly sore and your muscles this tight set a perfectly timed cue for your eyes to fall shut. It was heavenly.
Nonetheless, Jeonghan had a very specific rule. There was no staying past your session, and he was often strikingly clear about it. But  this was the first time you’d been pushed to such a degree. He must be able to recognize that it was only a short nap you needed, and perhaps a quick minute under the shower to rid your skin of the sticky sweat.
Out of the blue, something was tossed onto your face. It was your t-shirt earlier stripped and thrown to the floor by Jeonghan. Cracking an eye open and peeling away the fabric to hang loosely from your grip, you sighed. He had already slipped back into his exercise pants.
“Seriously? I’m exhausted.”
He threw a loose flannel over the long, beaming red scrapes that you had clawed down his back, shaking his head with a huff.
“I’m not saying you need to get out right now. I’ve got a dinner with the parents at eight.” Jeonghan proceeded to drop the rest of your undergarments onto bed. “So, you gotta be gone by a quarter to, alright?”
Swallowing dryly, you nodded.
“Alright.”
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The next morning, you were seated on the edge of your bed, staring with bleary eyes at the smooth, red Love Card that was initialed to its fifth circle, leaving only eight more sessions with Jeonghan. Though you approached the café with nothing more than an intention to earn money (even if the sex would be inexplicably dull), you were beginning to presume that there was more to this business than you thought. Because the sex wasn’t dull. It was concerningly amazing. And the very man who you had sworn to maintain a no-strings-attached type relationship with was throwing you for a loop. But he was boundary driven.
Be ready to go by this time. No sparkly clothes. Leave nothing in the washroom. Don’t show up here. Don’t show up there. Don’t text me unless this. Don’t call me unless that. Jeonghan knew very explicitly that you were a simple trick to relieving his stress and fulfilling his sexual desires, yet, anything further than that was laughably impossible. And, besides, it’s not like you needed to be in love or have this dazzling, perfect boyfriend. There was too much on your plate already.
You had gone to bed in a thick wool sweater, layered with the heaviest comforter you had due to the broken heating. Ignoring the cold, your next-door neighbours had found themselves in another drunken argument, forcing you to hear the unnerving crack of beer bottles and an outrageous number of insults, ranging from the very straightforward, ‘ridiculous bitch” to the audacious, “go fuck yourself, narcissistic prick.”
Thankfully, the dramatics ended just before three am.
You set the Love Card back on your nightstand. After you splashed mild water onto your face from the sink, you started multitasking, attempting to brush your teeth and remove your pyjama bottoms at the same time. Then, there was a knock at your door. You spared a glance through the peephole while the toothbrush hung from the corner of your mouth and the frigid air hit your bare legs. Upon recognizing the face reflected through the fisheye lens, you nearly choked on the mint-flavoured spit collected at the back of your throat, which forced you to unpleasantly compose yourself at the kitchen sink.
He knocked again, and you pulled the door open almost immediately, probably appearing as though you just hiked through the wilderness. Jeonghan’s eyes widened as he smiled at you.
“Damn. Sleep well?” He remarked, looking you up and down.
You were in the midst of a yawn as you answered. “Um, yes. I-I mean no. Wait, I don’t know what I’m saying. What was the question?”
Jeonghan nodded. “I’ll take that as a no.” He then reached into the pocket on his flannel coat. “Anyways, I have your phone. You left it on my bedside table the other night. Figured it’s kind of useful, I guess.”
“Oh my god. I did that?” You winced, realizing you must have been so tired and discombobulated from Jeonghan blowing your brains out that you forgot. “It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
Leaning your temple against the door, you sighed. “How was that dinner thing with your parents? Was it any fun?”
The boy shook his head, pulling out his car keys and tossing them from hand to hand. “No. It was all business bullshit. What they want me to do with my future after I graduate uni. How to be responsible with my money since they think I’m gonna blow it in a few years. Trying to structure my life around stuff I don’t really give a damn about.”
“O-Oh…” You frowned, “well, was there at least good food?”
Jeonghan stopped playing with his keys and titled his head at you. “Yeah,” he said, his eyes gentle, “they had great red velvet cake.”
Unfortunately, your neighbours must have woken up and decided it was a little too peaceful at such an hour, because you heard a loud, clanging thump echo from the room beside yours, like someone had dropped a metal pot or pan on the ground. Of course, the yelling started.
It didn’t last nearly as long compared to the night before, just a few scolding comments which were ultimately muffled. You wondered what Jeonghan was thinking as he blinked at the neighbour’s door and realized how despairing the narrow, dimly-lit hallway looked. After visiting his high-end apartment numerous times based in the luxury core of the city, with its beautiful architecture and sparkle, you were frankly a bit humiliated he was witnessing this drab part of your life – the reason you were seeking his service in the first place. You apologized through your teeth for the commotion, though Jeonghan merely shrugged.
“It’s better than nothing, right?”
“Yeah, that’s true. But those two next door can be a handful sometimes. I don’t get it. If they hate each other, then just break up. Get divorced. It’s like they want to be miserable on purpose.”
“Bet you wish you could get the hell outta here, huh?”
“All the time.” You replied wistfully. “I’m thinking of going to the mall today, actually. I need a new bath towel. Whatever gets me away.”
“You want a ride there?” Jeonghan asked, shaking his keys.
At that, you smiled a little too wide. “Maybe.”
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Carefully, you picked up a thin, glass bottle of pink perfume from the display counter, tilting the liquid back and forth as the lights gleamed off the gold nozzle. Everything inside the store was diamond bright and almost blinding, while the air smelled strongly of expensive floral. The employees were tailored in smooth, sophisticated suits, which made you more petrified than usual to touch anything, hence your very delicate inspection of the perfume as you waited for Jeonghan to finish his conversation with the front clerk. Since his father’s collection was sold at the boutique, Jeonghan seemed to have a cordial relationship with the staff, and they had recognized him almost immediately.
As most of their merchandise was quite expensive, you always ignored the boutique until Jeonghan suggested you stop by. It didn’t help that there was actually some cute clothing begging to be bought, though you knew one swift glance at the price tag would change your mind. You brought the perfume bottle close to your nose and inhaled lightly.
“What does it smell like?” Jeonghan asked.
You sniffed again. “It’s sweet, though it’s not strong.”
“Let me smell.” He said, and so you raised the bottle up to his nose. Jeonghan wrapped his hand around yours as he took a breath, shaking his head in disapproval. “That’s all wrong. I don’t like it.”
“It is kind of high schoolish.” You told him, setting the test bottle back onto the counter as though you were laying down a jewel. “I just need a new scent, you know? I actually love that one bottle your mom did, the summer tropic one. It’s so peachy but mild. I’m running out.”
“For real?” Jeonghan laughed, his eyes skipping over the different shaped containers. “You use one of my mom’s perfumes?”
“Um, yeah. Have you even smelled the tropic one? It’s amazing.”
“I don’t hang around her laboratory too often.” He replied. “It gives me a big fucking headache. Smells like this place times a hundred.”
You shrugged. “I guess that’s understandable.”
Suddenly, Jeonghan had latched his hand around your elbow, pulling you around to the opposite side of the counter. He grabbed a tall, slim bottle that was made from foggy glass and a chrome silver pump.
“C’mon, give me your wrist for a second.” He said. “Try this scent. I don’t know why, but it reminds me of you.”
Pulling up your sleeve, you stuck out your wrist and allowed him to spray a thin layer against the skin. Then, you sniffed the area. At first, your forehead crinkled as you attempted to decipher its concoction of notes. There was something a little fresh and cool, but then there was this oddly mature hint of a distinguished floral scent. You couldn’t pinpoint the flower, but it was certainly addictive and very intriguing.
“It’s called Orchid Night. Smells great, right?”
“Yeah,” you smiled, rolling your sleeve back down “just don’t tell me what it costs. It has to be at least fifty bucks.”
“Try sixty-nine,” Jeonghan corrected, “plus tax, don’t forget.”
Immediately, you grabbed the bottle from his hand and returned the perfume to its small podium on the countertop.
“Well, let’s put it back before we break it.”
Jeonghan smirked. “I could buy it for you.”
For a split second, you were tempted to succumb, though you snapped from the thought at the last second and shook your head.
“No way. I wouldn’t let you, anyways.”
He buried his hands in his pockets, rolling those gold-copper eyes of his. Jeonghan made sure to purposefully bump into you as he walked down the bright aisle toward the clothes. “Honestly, you’re so boring, man. That scent, on you? It would be sexy.” The boy then turned around to smother you with a burning gaze. “But, fine. Have it your way.”
You hurried after him, scoffing lightheartedly to camouflage the fact your heart was beating like a broken pendulum. Jeonghan had stopped at a rack of neatly pressed clothing to sort through the hangers.
“My way is the better way,” you smiled, “always.”
Jeonghan moved the long-sleeved button-up he’d been eyeing back onto the rack, merely blowing out a puff of air.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Besides, I still need to get my bath towel.”
“We can find it on the bottom floor. At the new essentials store that just opened up. The Shower Duck, I think.”
“The Shower what?”
He couldn’t help but cackle while repeating himself. “The Shower Duck. You thought I said something else, didn’t you?”
When you were too tongue-twisted to reply, Jeonghan decided to place his fingers softly on your chin, holding your head still as he leaned in very closely to whisper, “you’re such a dirty girl, you know that?” You almost hated how casually he pulled away and continued to examine the clothing, as though he hadn’t just murmured a lascivious comment into your ear while the employees were standing a mere few meters across the store. More than anything, you desired the courage to deservingly tease him in return, to break that relaxed little shtick of his. Except, you weren’t confident nor subtle enough to attempt anything in public.
But when your eyes landed on that brand-new lingerie set wrapped primly on the nearest mannequin, you had a wonderful idea.
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“No, are you being serious? Why? Why?”
His blunt fingernails sunk into the leather arms of the desk chair, scraping upward, as equally frustrated with your cruel antics as he was aroused and impatient. Maybe it was somewhat meanspirited to strut the thin, beautiful lace and ribbons curled around your body in a baby pink, and indeed, there was a moment where you pondered leniency, though, you severed the thought, because Jeonghan would surely tear each garter and bow from your outfit like it hadn’t cost anything at all. Pursing your bottom lip, you smiled, sinister and cold.
“I am being serious,” you stated firmly, nearing closer to his desk chair, “your hands won’t touch a single part of me, Jeonghan.”
He glared up at you with a dark, flickering fire in his eyes,  as if he were already weighing the consequence to breaking such rules. You began to sit comfortably on the boy’s lap, curling your arms around his neck while maintaining the intensity of the stare.
“And, if you do, I’ll grab my things and leave. It’ll just be you and your hand, for the rest of the night.” Purposefully, you brushed delicate lips, featherlight, along his warm, red-tinged ear, to which you could practically feel him harden underneath you upon the whisper, “and there’ll be nothing you can do other than remembering how good it felt when I was in your lap, grinding down on you, baby boy, just like this.”
Slowly and with focus, you rolled your hips in a deep, smooth gyration, ensuring Jeonghan felt the heavy pressure against all the right places. His hands keened for your waist, so you immediately reminded him of your unnegotiable rules, forcing them to settle on the arms of the chair. He drew in a sharp breath. And then, he started to laugh, like a beaten protagonist receiving their first, acrid taste of defeat. Jeonghan titled his head back to smile very lazily at you.
“Evil.” He said. “You’re fucking evil.”
“Mmhm,” you agreed, continuing the unhurried, steadfast pace of your hips rolling back and forth, observing with poorly hidden glee as the boy lost his smile, “but you’ll still cum, won’t you, Jeonghan?”
Before he could sneak in a clever rebuttal, you adjusted yourself even lower onto his lap, digging your nails down the back of his neck as you circled a thorough motion against his erection. Admittedly, it was difficult to maintain the domineering act. Even through the black material of the slacks, his cock was managing to create a friction with your lace underwear, a friction so rough yet fruitless that you were already tempted to take him, full and aching inside you. In order to distract yourself, you licked the tender side to Jeonghan’s neck, looping your tongue in a messy, warm pattern overtop a sensitive vein.
“Ff-fuck,” Jeonghan stuttered, scraping harshly along the chair, “you devilish little girl, c-can’t believe you’re g’nna make me cum like this—b-but it feels so damn good the way you’re moving, baby.”
You suckled until you’d drawn a shiny, wine-coloured hue to the surface of Jeonghan’s skin, to mark a dark bruise as a keepsake. He kept breathing through a parted mouth, each exhale shakier and more erratic than the last, his knuckles hard like stone while they gratingly tensed and betrayed his frustration at not being able to touch you. With slow, teasing hands, you began to drag them down his chest, nails clawing at the expensive fabric of his dress shirt. Jeonghan squirmed. He clenched his jaw and cursed rough under his breath. You focused on where his cock was poking you to apply the most dizzying pressure thus far, rolling your hips until something inside Jeonghan snapped and you felt him cum.
“Jesus—fuck!” He shouted, the loudest you had ever heard the boy, and there was a notable tear in his usually soft voice. “Keep going, keep going,” Jeonghan panted, squeezing his eyes shut, “keep fucking moving just like that, sweetheart. A-Ahh, ff-fuck, feels s-so good—"
At the pulsating sensation right beneath your core, you submitted to Jeonghan’s wish and continued grinding down, even if you were beginning to tire at your lack of stamina. However, there came a point where you were too breathless to maintain such a pace, so you trickled to a halt and steadied your hands on his firm shoulders. He tossed his head back, neck leaned against the edge of the chair. The hazy, glass look to his brown eyes and the rose glow smeared on each cheek made it appear as though he’d just touched down from heaven. As you shifted slightly in Jeonghan’s lap, you noticed the white stream of cum that had soaked through his pants, and that somehow, he was still hard.
“I didn’t know you could beg, Jeonghan.” You remarked, grinning, meanwhile attempting to catch your breath.
He shook his head. “Don’t expect it too much.”
“Well, I can tell you’re satisfied, either way.”
He chuckled, brushing some of the loose hairs from his face. You felt his hands settle upon your waist’s bare skin, warm and squeezing. In that moment, you just didn’t possess the same acuteness to scold him.
“Almost,” Jeonghan huffed, “but, what do you suppose you’ll do to please yourself, sweetheart?” He leaned forward, until his forehead was just a sliver away from bumping yours, the boy sliding a hand down your abdomen and beneath the lace underwear. As he stroked the tips of his fingers along your slit, he smirked. “I’ve never felt someone so wet before, dripping all over my fingers and I’m barely touching you. Did it turn you on that much, sweetheart? Feeling my hard cock right underneath this needy pussy of yours?” Jeonghan teased with a smirk and a low, calm tone. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to duct tape his mouth shut or allow him to keep talking, as there was something about his honeyed voice which wound you up like clockwork.
Yet, before you could even start the syllable of a response, Jeonghan pushed you strongly from his lap, his hands glued to your waist as he guided you to stumble against the bed. Your back hit the mattress, the sheets puffing up around you. And then, Jeonghan was kissing you, lips clashing messily while he took advantage of the switched power dynamic to run his hands over your every inch. One second, they were cupping your breasts overtop the baby pink bralette. Another second, they were grabbing at your ass and kneading so desperately. You were being ravaged. It was overwhelming, it was gratifying, it was needed beyond belief.
“Hey,” Jeonghan said, separating his mouth from the side of your throat to stare at you with an oddly sentimental eye, “before I get all up in your guts and everything— you look beautiful. Even if you did choose this outfit to be a big fucking tease.” His fingers brushed down the edge of your jaw, and he smiled at you in a way that wasn’t clever or teetering on sarcasm. Your heart leapt like a little frog in your chest.
“Really?” You questioned him, not because you didn’t believe the lingerie suited your figure, but rather, you weren’t expecting this sweetness from someone who was always so quick to get rid of you.
He nodded, raising a suspecting eyebrow. “Yeah, really. What, you think I’m lying to you or something?”
“No, I don’t think that,” you answered quickly, curling your fingers into the bedsheets, “I just—I wasn’t… Uh, never mind.”
“Alright,” Jeonghan laughed, lowering his head to delicately kiss your cheek, and then your neck, “you’re a bit strange sometimes, you know that?” He mumbled against the sensitive skin, even daring to dig his knee between your thighs to make you increasingly pliable.
“I-I know,” you stuttered, unable to help your embarrassing voice crack. But you still smiled, letting Jeonghan explore and pleasure your body with an uncharacteristic tenderness for the remainder of the night.
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Twelve am.
Usually, at this time, you’d be at the bottom floor of his apartment complex, seated by the lobby water fountain. You’d be examining your face with a pocket mirror, awaiting the yellow taxi cab, and trying to avoid eye contact with the wealthy businesspeople filtering from the elevators in glamourous congregation.
However, tonight was different.
Tonight, you were in Jeonghan’s bed, with a white sheet covering the lower half of your bodies, an ear pressed to his bare, warm chest while you breathed him in like the wind on a bright summer’s day. You felt his fingertips trace long figure eights down your spine and then dance back up to the subtle curve of your shoulder blades. Sometimes it tickled, other times it was a touch so soft it was hardly there, and in between you thought he might have been tracing words. The room was quiet. But good quiet— the comfortable quiet. And then you heard Jeonghan speak into the crown of your head while his hand stilled at your waist.
“Did that salon ever call you back?” He asked.
You sighed, focusing on your thumb which brushed a small freckle on his pectoral muscle. “They emailed me, and said their position was already filled, but that they’ll try to look for another opening.”
Jeonghan rubbed your hip. “That’s good, right? I mean, they didn’t just flat out reject you. They’re gonna keep you in mind.”
“It’s better than what I’m used to getting,” you answered, pressing your lips together and tilting your head up at him.
And, that’s when it struck you, like someone had just clanged a bell right beside your head. You were still in Jeonghan’s bed. You were still in Jeonghan’s apartment. You were still with Jeonghan. Feeling as though you’d broken some vastly significant cardinal rule, you operated on a strange basis of panic and autopilot, already seated at the edge of the mattress while you tucked your underwear back on.
“I’m sorry,” you spewed, reaching for your shirt next and straightening it out frantically in your lap, “the time escaped me. I-I know I have to go. And, my Love Card, I think it’s in my purse or—”
“Can you slow down?” Jeonghan laughed, casting a hand through his loose, disarrayed hair which you had admittedly tugged earlier in the night like your life depended on it. The boy’s arms circled around your midframe, hugging your back to his chest. “I don’t care about that stupid card right now,” Jeonghan hummed into your ear, “stay.”
At that, you almost choked. “Stay? You want me to stay?” You repeated dumbly, dropping the inside-out shirt back onto your lap.
The coldest shiver split down your spine as Jeonghan buried his face against your neck, taking a breath of your scent, kissing your skin.
“Yeah,” he purred, now pecking the soft spot behind your ear, “I want you to stay. Or, if you really want to go home, I won’t stop you.”
“No,” you replied almost immediately, melting into his voice, his touch, his body, “trust me, I’d rather be here.”
Jeonghan’s arms relaxed their snug grip.
“I figured that.”
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Even though you had strongly protested the idea, Jeonghan succeeded at wearing you down akin to an ocean tide forming whorls into rock, and now you were seated before your vanity with an array of makeup scattered at your fingertips as you prepared for a dinner. His parents were going to be there, in addition to some business partners and close friends, which sounded like something from a hellish nightmare. In fact, Jeonghan himself didn’t seem all that eager to attend. He’d been sprawled across your bed for the past half hour, with the long drapes of his coat fanned around him, as he flipped through an old magazine. You were certain he just didn’t want to tough another dinner alone.
After focusing a spritz of perfume to your neck (the orchid one, bought by Jeonghan, because he was very insistent that you not smell like his mother) you shut off the vanity lights and sighed.
“I think I’m ready… Physically though, not mentally.”
Jeonghan yawned, tossing the magazine aside before he pushed himself to sit upright on the bed. He rubbed at his eye.
“Trust me, it’s not going to be the big, royal midnight ball that you’re picturing. My parents have these dinners all the time. You’ll be the centre of attention for a few minutes, and then it’s pretty much just business central from there. You’ll be lucky if you can even get a word in. I stopped trying months ago.”
You smiled at him, feeling slightly better about the situation, and took one last, scrutinizing glance in the mirror. The dress was simple yet elegant, a mute shade of dark blue with a beaded, crystal belt that you had forgotten about, as you discovered it laying behind a stool shoved in your closet. The fabric had an elastic tightness to it and was hemmed shorter than you remembered, just above your fingertips. You tried not to judge or overthink the figure which reflected in the vanity glass, or what Jeonghan’s parents might assume upon their first introduction to someone who was so clueless on their accolades. It was merely a dinner.
“Stop worrying so much,” Jeonghan hummed, sensing that you were at the forefront of a spiral. His hands settled to your hips and he caught your eye through the mirror. “No one is going to judge you, or poke fun at you, or say anything mean. I promise.” He then grabbed your winter coat off the bed, helping you slide into the arms, and even doing up the buttons. “You’re gorgeous.” Jeonghan said, tapping your chin.
It didn’t help that he could fluster you so easily.
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Joshua wasn’t at all who you expected him to be, while simultaneously encompassing everything you would indeed expect from the position of Jeonghan’s closest friend. He was a juxtaposition personified. Slick, ash blonde hair combed into a handsome wave, eyes which twinkled like the restaurant’s diamond chandelier, and a soothing voice which could be a cup of warm milk on a frosty day, though his interactions with Jeonghan portrayed him as childlike and frivolous. He greeted you, at first with a quick hug. You heard him exhale deeply.
“Wow,” Joshua commented, retreating to shake your hand, “you smell amazing! I mean—well, I hope that doesn’t sound weird.”
You laughed, and wondered how someone could smile with such a prettiness. “Thank you! I’d be upset if you didn’t notice, actually.”
Joshua continued to shake your hand. “Oh, yeah, agree. It’s wonderful to meet you. Jeonghan’s been trying to hide you, it seems.”
“Go shove a break stick in your mouth,” Jeonghan scoffed, blowing a loose piece of hair from his eyes, “and stop shaking her hand like that. You’re gonna snap her whole arm off.”
Finally, Joshua released his grip, and your arm fell back to your side like a limp noodle. His cheeks were starting to turn pink.
“I was not. Anyways—” he nodded at you, “like I said, nice to meet you. I hope we’ll talk more tonight and I’ll pick your brain.”
“Sure thing,” you answered, waving the boy off as he returned to the dinner table before facing Jeonghan. “He seems nice.”
“And totally into you. I haven’t seen him shake someone’s hand like that since I introduced him to Elouise from France. He’s gonna turn into a lost puppy all over again. Bet he’ll try to sweet talk you later.”
“Can’t wait.” You grinned, already giggling through your teeth.
Jeonghan c0nsquently thwapped your forehead with his finger.
However, meeting Jeonghan’s parents was starkly different than the good-humoured Joshua. They both appeared cross, and firm, and before you had even shaken their hands you were forced to wipe yours against your dress. The father was a bit softer around the edges, showing you a pleased smile that reminded you instantaneously of Jeonghan, while the mother was stone-faced and seemed as though she hadn’t slouched since birth. Even when she complimented your fragrance, there was a tartness to her voice which made it sound disingenuous.
“Well, Jeonghan,” she said, clasping her hands together, “I’m glad to finally see you with a lovely lady on your arm. I didn’t think it was possible that you could settle for someone after being with Baejin.”
“Oh?” The father piped up, “you’re my son’s girlfriend?”
Before you could respond, Jeonghan had beaten you to it.
“No, she’s…” he bit his lip hard, “she’s just a friend. Mom kept nagging that I always come to these dinners alone, and she was down.”
For some reason, it felt like someone had pierced a pin straight through your heart – a very tiny hole which shouldn’t hurt all that much, yet stung like flesh to orange, glowing metal. In fact, there was a visible shift in your countenance, from a nervous smile to a sunken frown, but you were able to veil it very quickly and pretend nothing was wrong. Why should you feel so disappointed that Jeonghan had introduced you as a friend? The promiscuous nature of your relationship didn’t immediately loop you two together as soulmates, or lovers, or even the mildest beginnings of boyfriend and girlfriend. You tried to refocus yourself.
Jeonghan’s mother nodded. “Even if she isn’t your next Baejin, it’s nice to meet a new face. The dinner talk might bore you no doubt.”
“No, not at all—” you forced a smile, “I’m just excited to be here.”
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It was easier to endure the night than you thought, because true to Jeonghan’s word, the conversation was a bunch of business lingo that you didn’t exactly understand, with the occasional question flitted to you by Joshua who sat across the table. You had completely emptied your glass of ice water, and were halfway through your wine when two fancy, tuxedoed servers stopped by the table to collect everyone’s dishes. A distant relative was seated to Jeonghan’s right, and they had swept him into a discussion of whether or not he was interested in pursuing his current degree or if he would abandon it to work fulltime for his father’s brand. Meanwhile, Joshua had whisper-shouted your name.
You raised an eyebrow, “what?”
“Are you getting dessert?” The blonde asked, already shoving a small, plastic menu to his face. “I can’t decide what I want.”
“I guess so,” you picked up an extra menu sitting by a purple wine bottle and started to browse the list of decadent food.
Joshua sighed, “I usually get the cheesecake… but, I’m torn. What if I want the caramel apple baked pudding with black truffles?”
“The caramel apple baked what?” You questioned, laughing from the absolute mouthful that Joshua just worded so effortlessly.
“I know, I know. It’s a jumble. But my family and I come here all the time so I’ve gotten these names down pat. What are you thinking?”
“Um, I’m not sure. I’ve never been here before, actually.”
His eyes, glistering and delighted, locked with yours. “Can I recommend you something, then?” Joshua said while smiling. “Red velvet cake. It’s right at the bottom. Not to mention the slice is huge so there’s always leftovers for the next day. It’s a favourite here.”
The relative responsible for dragging Jeonghan into another trite conversation concerning his future had excused themselves from the table. He was finally able to return his attention to you, and you slid over the dessert menu so he could pick something. You noted that Jeonghan’s hand had fallen onto your thigh, right at the hem of your dress, and you could only surmise that trouble was brewing. Joshua took a sip from his water glass, then settled it back on the table while subtly eyeing you.
“So, I’ve never seen you around before. Are you in school?”
You tapped your nails against the white table cloth, shaking your head, “no—I had to drop my program. It just wasn’t what I thought it would be and, well, I took a huge hit financially. So, no school.”
“Not everything is going to be a bullseye,” Joshua said, “I’m sure there’ll be more opportunity down the road. This other friend of mine, his name is Mingyu, he does this thing called the Love Café—” the boy then gestured to Jeonghan, “and I know he’s done it once before. Have you heard of it? Maybe it’s not up your alley, but I hear it’s good money.”
The suggestion had quite visibly stunned you. It seemed that Jeonghan was intent to keep the foundation of your relationship as covert as possible, which prompted his ‘friends’ comment before dinner, therefore you had no choice but to follow the rouse, even if the boy was currently sliding his hand further up the inside of your thigh, pushing inch by inch under your dress. Jeonghan didn’t contribute a single word.
“Um, the name sounds familiar. I’ll have to look it up.” You then glanced at him, hanging his head over the menu like a child who forgot their glasses, probably hiding some million-watt smirk.
“Are you having dessert?” Joshua asked his friend.
Jeonghan sat up straight, nodding, “I am.”
“The red velvet cake?”
“Vanilla ice cream. The one that comes on the skillet.”
“Oh, that one’s seriously good,” Joshua groaned, “ask them to put a chocolate chip cookie on the side. It gets all warm and—”
“Joshua,” the young lady beside him, probably in her late twenties, with petal-shaped, twinkling eyes similar to his and ice-like smooth skin, suddenly wrapped her hand around his arm, “can you come outside with me for a few minutes? I think I left my wallet in the car.”
He pushed out his chair. “Sure thing—guys, I’ll be back in a few. I need to help my cousin. If the waiter comes, order for me please.”
While you might have promised Joshua to follow through on his unnecessarily complicated apple pudding, such thoughts were quick to be discarded the moment he’d left the table, as Jeonghan had given you much more to think about. The boy’s hand was wedged between the apex of your thighs with two fingers pressed flat against your underwear. You felt heat, and the faintest burning of pleasure, one that yearned for you to start a gentle undulation against his hand because your unruly body was already eager for stimulation. Jeonghan picked up his wine glass.
“What are you doing?” You tried to shelter the whisper from the table’s guests, hoping the business speech was too engrossing.
As laid back as an ironing board, Jeonghan took a long gulp from his drink, swishing the wine from cheek to cheek before he swallowed. He set the wide-rimmed glass back down and wiped his mouth.
“What do you mean, ‘what am I doing?’” He said, raising an eyebrow at you as though you’d conjured a make-believe tale. However, the instant he started to slide up his index finger so it could push firmly against your clit, a smirk penetrated that complacent expression.
You grabbed his wrist, stared him dead in those honey-brown eyes. “Are you insane?” the whisper was harsh, “we’re in public.”
He tilted his head indifferently. “What’s your point, love? I get to play with your pussy whenever I want. It’s mine now. Remember?”
The dirty-mouthed comment split a fire beneath your cheeks like a flint cracking steel. Not only that, but Jeonghan studied each minor contort of your face as he slipped two digits beneath your underwear, brushing his fingertips ever so softly around your sensitive clit. You gulped, dry and gritty, hating that your thighs were starting to spread.
“Jeonghan!” A voice called his name from down the table.
Fear gripped your poor heart like latex glove. It was an older relative, asking him to pass down the remaining bottle full of wine.
“Oh, such a nice boy!” She chirped.
You nearly gawked at the remark considering the immoral placement of his hand and what he was doing. On the contrary – as much as you wanted to be embarrassed for allowing Jeonghan to touch you in public viewing– he knew his talents much too well, and the manner in which he used your own arousal to lubricate the massaging motion of his finger to your clit was an astounding bliss. Your legs fell wider apart, inviting him to explore a more rigorous touch, and that’s when Jeonghan curled his two fingers inside of you until his knuckles couldn’t fit.
Before your pinched expression could be caught by anyone at the table, you looked straight down at your lap, watching his wrist work beneath the navy-blue fabric. In fact, very faintly, you could hear the squelch from his digits pumping deep and slow into your warmth. Your bottom lip was quivering as he drew them out, now running the long length of his fingers upward to graze beneath the hood of your clit. He repeated a stroking gesture. It triggered the nerves to swell and pulse.
“I see Joshua walking back,” Jeonghan murmured, an arrogance thick in his voice, “and you don’t want him to find out about this, do you? Or, maybe I’m wrong.” He slid his entire hand beneath your underwear and cupped your centre, squeezing like he owned it. “Maybe you want him to know you’re such a whore of a girl that you’ll take my fingers anywhere. I mean, look at how much you’ve opened your legs, and I didn’t even ask you to. I love when you behave just for me, honey.”
Joshua collapsed back at the table with a huff, combing some snow flurries from his hair. “We found the wallet.” He said.
Yet, you couldn’t even bring yourself to face him. Jeonghan had spread your lips with his index and ring finger, using his middle digit to make rhythmic, deep circles around the bud. An erotic whine escaped your teeth and Joshua’s eyes widened; his face tinged with concern.
“Are you alright?” He questioned. “Did you get a Charlie horse?”
“N-No, I’m fine, really.” You composed yourself with a weak smile, and took a sip from your wine. “I got one of those rib pains.”
The blonde boy winced. “Ouch, those hurt big time.”
Honestly, you didn’t think it was possible to endure dessert without revealing to some degree that you were being, well, stretched open by Jeonghan. It was sheer torture staring at the waiter while he took your order, knowing the boy was lazily pumping his fingers inside you with a half-smirk seated so comfortably to his face. When that huge, delicious slice of cream red velvet cake was placed before you on the table, you could only fork a few pathetic bites, and when Joshua offered you to try a spoonful from his warm apple pudding, you nearly squealed the word no as Jeonghan rolled your sore clit between his fingertips. The most egregious aspect to the entire daubable was that the boy stripped your orgasm from you at the very last second, like stopping a rollercoaster just before it tips over the downhill plummet.
“How was the ice cream?” Joshua asked him innocently.
You observed with horror as Jeonghan brought that sinful hand to his mouth, lapping his tongue against his two fingertips as though he were actually savouring a sweet and flavourful vanilla.
“Delicious.” He grinned, catching your mortified stupor from the corner of his eye. “I’d taste it again in a heartbeat, Shua.”
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Dropping the slice of bread into a shallow bowl, you used the spatula to submerge it underneath the milk, egg and cinnamon mixture until it was completely coated. Then, you slid the bread onto your buttered frying pan to let its surfaces crisp and brown. Since you began utilizing the service granted by the Love Café, life at your depressing excuse for an apartment was becoming more bearable, though your ultimate goal would be to ditch the paper-thin walls and insult-spewing neighbours once money was no longer a prevalent issue. You were still insistent on supporting yourself too, if you could ever score a job.
You flipped the bread onto its opposite face, pressing it down with the spatula as the pan sizzled and the butter popped. A few days had passed since your last intimacy with Jeonghan, and the proof would have been stamped to your Love Card if the boy had actually written his initials like usual. The thing was, Jeonghan – who had always been so firm and unwavering on the rules of the café – was now skirting about the regulations as though they were optional. There were days when he didn’t even initial the card, but still delivered his transactions. In fact, you were almost positive that sex had happened more than twelve times and that you could be renewing your card if wanted (you didn’t).
As silly and cliché as it sounded, you liked Jeonghan. You constantly thought about him and missed him and wondered what he was doing while you were trapped in bed listening to another argument between your spiteful neighbours. There was always a deep, electric pounding in your chest upon weaving the tips of your fingers along his skin, touching him, exploring him. Yet, when he held you close, tucked your body tight against his like there was nothing surrounding you but ice, comfort found a home in your belly like a warm, homecooked meal.
After spilling some icing sugar and strawberries across the toast, now fried a delicious shade of golden-brown, you took a seat at the counter and dug in. There had been an occasion where Jeonghan brought you breakfast after warping your legs into complete gelatine (you had no idea that kitchen table sex could be so fiery and passionate), which proved to be a pleasant morning, where you could still feel the softness of his thumb as he kindly brushed some whipped cream from your bottom lip. You sighed, sticking a strawberry into your mouth. How foolish it might be to fall this far and this devotedly for someone like him.
But you didn’t want to stop yourself.
In fact, you reached for your phone across the counter, swiped into your messages, and decided to be bold. You texted him.
[  9:29 AM ]: Hey! I know that I’m not supposed to send you anything unrelated to our business lol, but
[9:29 AM ]: Just wondering if you’re available to grab a coffee with me or something along those lines?
Setting the phone down and turning it over so you wouldn’t be tempted to helplessly wait for a notification, you continued eating. After scraping the last few pieces of toast and syrup around the plate, there was a vibration and a quick, ding! Strangely, you were starting to sweat.
[ Jeonghan | 9:34 AM ]: Sorry. In a lecture rn.
Of course, your surge of bravery immediately dehydrated, and you decided it was best to pretend that you hadn’t asked him anything at all – for your confidence’s sake. The next two hours were spent cleaning the kitchen, taking a short walk outside the complex to feel the Northern air refresh your face, and finally, a long bath, in which you nearly fell asleep and drowned as the steam lulled your eyes shut. While wrapping your body snug in that new, hot pink bath towel, you heard a knock at the door. You assumed it was the painter who occupied the room directly below yours, as you had borrowed his vacuum the night before, though you weren’t exactly raving at the thought of answering him in a towel.
However, by squinting through the fisheye lens, you were shocked (and greatly relieved) to discover that it wasn’t the middle-aged painter dressed in his splattered, dirty overalls, but Jeonghan.
And he was holding a drink.
You unlocked the door.
“Uh, hello after all. What are you doing here?”
He smiled at you and held up the cardboard cup, “my lecture ended, and I thought I’d do you a solid. Couldn’t remember if it was two sugars-one cream, or two creams-one sugar. So I tossed a coin.”
“What exactly was the result?” You giggled.
“Heads,” Jeonghan answered, “two sugars-one cream it is.”
“You’re lucky that’s correct.”
Accepting the warm cup from his hand, you set it carefully on the kitchen counter. When you returned to the door, Jeonghan was evidently ogling you. He really suited the image of a casual university student when he wasn’t dressed to gems and jewels in his sumptuous clothing.
“I knew the hot pink towel would look good on you.”
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not dropping it, so forget it.”
“Whoa,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “I didn’t ask you to drop it, sweetheart. I’d rather you not actually, with this door wide open and everything.”
“Did I really just hear that from you, Mr, Dinner Table?” Folding your arms, you stared him down with an accusing expression.
He held up one finger in defense. “First of all, that was under the table, so unless someone bumped their fork or something, then we were pretty much safe. This is you dropping your whole towel right in the doorway like there isn’t a weirdo probably peeping you across the hall as we speak. And I’m not letting anyone look at you like that, ever.”
“Fine,” you sighed, hoping he couldn’t spot the flustered heart pumping your chest beneath the towel, “you’ve made your point.”
Jeonghan checked his silver wrist watch, “fuck. I gotta get going, need to be at the studio so I can be a taper dummy again.”
“Oh, okay,” you nodded, “talk to y—”
Suddenly, the boy was cupping each side of your face in his hands, and his lips pressed soft but quick to your forehead. Jeonghan then pinched your thigh under the towel, a gesture which felt oddly endearing rather than sexual, before he left the corridor.
“Later!” He’d called.
Shutting the door, you returned to your seat at the counter, holding the coffee cup up to your mouth as you took a small, nervous sip.
How could you let yourself fall this easily for him?
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Jeonghan’s washroom was somehow nicer than your entire apartment, and you were fairly certain that your eyes had never seen so much white-grey marble, all squeaky-clean and aglow with lights. He’d shot you a text roughly an hour ago, right after he was released from the painful effort required to keep Joshua’s peewee soccer players in check, wondering if you were available to come over. Of course, the innocence to the term ‘come over’ was nothing more than a euphemism, a means of sugar coating what Jeonghan actually intended: to be inside you no doubt. And since the boy was so drained and unwilling to instigate any work himself, Jeonghan decided that a steaming, hot bath should do.
Well – a bath which involved you seated on his dick. The tub was dark grey tile, square-shaped, and practically the size of a small jacuzzi. It even had a bench to sit on. While it had been difficult at first to simply cockwarm the boy – when all you could feel was how deeply he spearheaded into your sensitive spot and how this shock would ripple from your abdomen at even his gentlest movement– you knew he wasn’t looking to make things quick and temporary. Therefore, you settled into his lap, wrapping your arms around Jeonghan’s neck while his circled your waist beneath the water. Both of you were starting to fall asleep.
“Jeonghan,” you whispered, lifting your head from his shoulder, only to remember that you were indeed naked and this heat lapping around you was definitely not a blanket, “can I tell you something?”
With his eyes still shut, he nodded, his fingers digging appreciatively at your hips. “Of course you can, baby.” He replied, his voice sounding deeper than usual as he orientated on the edges of sleep.
Smiling, you combed through the damp hairs at his nape, your voice reverberating like a musical instrument off the marble. “Remember the salon place? They called me two days ago, said they had an opening for me and that I could start next Monday. I… I wanted to text you about it, like, as soon as it happened. But I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“What? Really?” Jeonghan was staring at you now, his head straightened from its leisurely position against the edge of the tub and cocked with interest. The fact he seemed so intrigued, that you could read the genuine excitement building up in those brown eyes, had almost made you happier than the salon’s phone call. “Congratulations!” He leaned forward to kiss you, pecking your lips chastely the first time, and then slower come the second, his hands squeezing your thighs.
After a tiny laugh, you sighed contentedly. “Thank you. It’s going to be so nice having my own cashflow and everything. And if I can work my way up and become like, a kickass hair stylist? Can you imagine?”
“Should I grow my hair out more so you can practice cutting it? You’ve got a steady hand, don’t you?” Jeonghan asked, mostly teasing, as you could imagine his parents harping him during his next session at Opal Studio if he looked as though he’d ran through some hedge clippers.
Returning the affection, you kissed the rosy tip of his nose. “I think my hands are pretty steady. We’ll find out I guess, and we’ll know for sure if a huge chunk of your hair falls to the floor.”
Your laughter immediately mingled, and you hid your smile against the boy’s neck, a very moonstruck, loopy smile which felt like riding a blazing comet between the stars. If you were legitimately able to climb higher amongst the business, then you could picture a life in which you didn’t need to lean on Jeonghan and the Love Café for financial support. In fact, there were moments where you felt rather dirty using his money even when he was completely insistent on such matters, like buying food and paying off bills. You held tight to a certain hope, that you could become independent again, and maybe, just maybe, be able to keep this beautiful boy whom you once thought would hate you.
His fingers tapped up your spine, urging you to face him.
“Seriously,” Jeonghan said, “I’m happy for you.”
“I know,” you answered, so quietly he could hardly hear it.
And then, you decided to kiss Jeonghan, placing your damp hand upon his cheek while your mouths slotted together. The contact had lost its grace almost instantly, and the kiss turned from a sweet gesture to a sensuality so thick you could feel it swelter the air and pool between your legs. He offered his tongue for you to suckle by sliding it smoothly into your mouth, and from there, Jeonghan’s intended relaxation had vanished. His hands grazed to the front of your body, reaching up and sliding back and forth over each breast. It wasn’t until Jeonghan began massaging his thumbs in circular motions around your nipples that you moaned into his mouth, a sound which flicked a smirk to his face.
Once his lips were shiny and slick with your saliva, he moved each kiss down the side of your neck, now pinching at your nipples, even twisting gently and making sure to ease the dull throb by rubbing them afterward. It was becoming unbearable. You needed to move. However, the second you started a rhythm in Jeonghan’s lap, he shook his head.
“Be still,” he told you, lightly gripping your chin.
The desperation in your whine was horribly apparent, almost soaking each word. “No Jeonghan, I-I can’t do that anymore—” ignoring him, you continued to grind your hips and move the water around you, feeling his engorged head tick against that one spot of insane pleasure, “I need t’cum now, all over your cock.” With every bounce in his lap, you begged, “please, please, please.” This prompted Jeonghan to grab your waist much tighter than usual and slam you down, holding you still.
“No, not like that,” he grunted, and you wondered if his control was simply otherworldly or if he was just that talented at hiding how good he felt. “I’ll make you cum, sweetheart,” Jeonghan nodded, “but you can’t move. I just want you to sit there, all the way down.”
He then leaned in close to your face, nearly pressing his forehead to yours, and that’s when you felt his thumb brush with a featherlight, fleeting touch across your clit. The sudden stimulation jerked your body. Jeonghan bit his lip and grinned while continuing the sensitive touch, the pressure becoming heavier with each minute that passed. Your thighs started to tremble, and your moans were echoing around the washroom.
The honeyed dirty talk crawled up Jeonghan’s throat. “You’re such a cute little cocksleeve, sweetheart,” he purred, titling his head as he rubbed his thumb faster, “oh, look at you, baby. Shaking and crying and taking it like it’s the only thing you’re good for—” a messy kiss to calm you down, thin strings of saliva hanging in the air each time your mouths separated, “I bet you’re gonna cum for me soon, right?” The boy encouraged, keeping his forehead flush to yours so he could observe with utmost clarity the beautiful contortions of your face. “I know you are, sweetheart. Because it feels so good, right?” You nodded frantically, digging your fingers into his neck like a cat sinking in its claws. Jeonghan’s thumb pushed beneath the hood of your clit, directly massaging the soft bud, and the pleasure inside you leapt to a new high which made you dumbly lose all sense.
“Cum.” Jeonghan commanded so gently, his gaze burning against your eyes, squeezed shut. At the straightforward word, you allowed the sensation to swallow you like a current, and the hot, teary cry you mewled had been quickly snuffed as the boy pushed his lips to yours.
“Can feel you clenching so fucking tight around my cock,” he chuckled, digging his nose into your hair and speaking warmly beside your ear, “and how much you’re throbbing right under my thumb. Must feel so good, sweetheart, cumming all over me like such a good girl.”
You slumped against him, overwhelmed, emptied, and breathing so heavy that you were afraid the oxygen might dwindle completely from your lungs. The fact Jeonghan could remain so composed while buried to the hilt in your heat was something else that frightened you, though, in the moment, you preferred not to think about it, instead concentrating on the distant sensation of Jeonghan drawing galactic shapes to each your shoulder blades.
Hopefully, he’d let you stay the night.
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Once you started the receptionist job at the hair salon, you had bumped into Joshua on a Friday evening. While his platinum blonde look was indeed enchanting and princely, he complained that it was difficult to maintain the roots, and that he often found himself back in the stylist’s chair for a touch up. He’d come in on a whim. Luckily – due to the late hour – there was an open seat, and Joshua puffed a great sigh of relief as he hooked his jacket onto the salon coat hanger. Curious if there was more behind the reason to his abrupt appearance, you conversed with him while he waited for the stylist to tidy up her work area.
That’s when Joshua informed you of the Opal’s Galleria Night, a fashion exhibition which would display Mr. Yoon’s newest edition for his upcoming Spring line. Joshua seemed surprised that you hadn’t known about the Galleria, or, that Jeonghan hadn’t mentioned it to you. Oddly enough, Jeonghan had been radio silent the past three days; not a phone call, or a voice memo, or even a text. Yesterday you had hoped to catch him stuck in the books at the library, but the area where he usually sat was occupied by a study group of freshman. It concerned you a little.
An ungraceful quickie in the washroom after his three-hour lecture ended on Tuesday was your last encounter. Not to mention, there was only one more opening left on your Love Card.
“He didn’t say anything,” you told Joshua, pretending to act indifferent “so… I don’t think he wants me there. It’s not a big deal.”
Yet, that’s not how you truly felt. There had to be some reason for the boy’s keeping you in the dark. Did he not want to explain the ‘friends’ trope to all the Galleria members, like at the dinner? Or, was he thinking that you wouldn’t be interested? It wasn’t easy to seem unphased.
“Jeonghan doesn’t need to invite you,” Joshua had said, “cause I’ll invite you myself. Mr. Yoon said it was more than  fine if I brought someone along. So, why not you? It’ll make the night more fun.”
At first, you vehemently rejected the invite, no matter how sweetly Joshua attempted to rope you into a night of free perfume samples, delicious catering food and a chocolate fountain perfect for dipping strawberries. However, when the hair stylist pulled Joshua away to fix his darkening roots, you had much time to mull over the offer, and even the fact you felt poignant about dismissing it. As you tapped a pen against the desk, staring out the window into the grey, dulling sky, you convinced yourself there could be no harm in attending the Opal’s Galleria Night. Besides, you and Jeonghan weren’t cast in stone. He probably wouldn’t bat any eyelash anyways, knowing his eased nature.
And so, you caught Joshua just before he left.
You told him you’d changed your mind.
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When Jeonghan first saw you at the Opal Galleria, it was from across the ballroom that had been temporarily converted into an exhibition space, stood next to a mannequin draped in a cherub-pink slip dress. Almost comically, he gagged on some sparkling champagne held in a thin and tall glass, though he recovered smoothly as to not interrupt the conversation his father was sharing with the dense crowd. You waved at him, not too noticeably of course, but he either didn’t catch it or had decided to ignore the gesture. Shrugging, you tried not to overthink it.
Mannequins were lined up along both sides of the ballroom, adorned in the mild tones baring semblance to Spring, with the blips of baby blues, clementine oranges, and cream violets transforming the Galleria into an acrylic painting. Jeonghan’s mother took the opportunity to offer some spritzes from her most recent line, which had both you and Joshua smelling like a tulip garden. While exploring the room with the blonde boy, you stopped to examine a mannequin dressed in a relaxed, high-waisted pant and a lace camisole that seemed breezy and flowing. This collection was definitely tamer compared to the usual extravagance you had always seen through the store windows and in magazines.
“Would you wear it?” Joshua asked, chewing on a strawberry that he might as well have plucked from thin air.
Tilting your head and squinting, you took a moment to contemplate. “If it was my size I might, if I could find a price hanging off somewhere. But I don’t want to even touch it. Mannequins are weird.”
“No prices are usually displayed at the Gallerias,” Joshua informed you, “though, I will agree. It’s probably a Toy Story thing where they all start moving at night when no one’s here. Spooky, huh?”
You sighed at him, “thanks for the nightmare material.”
Suddenly, there was a tap to your bare shoulder, and you nearly yelped like a cat with a stepped-on tail as Joshua laughed between bites from his juicy strawberry. Turning around, you were met with Jeonghan, who had this flat-lined, unenthusiastic smile hardly touching the corners of his mouth. He looked rather agitated in fact, and you felt cold inside.
“Hey!” Joshua exclaimed, punching his friend’s arm. “Finally escape your dad’s novella-length speech on the pink slip?”
The crowd once gathered around the mannequin had started to disperse, with the visitors now exploring the rest of the outfits.
Jeonghan hardly payed any mind to his friend, throwing out an impatient, “yeah, it was whatever,” before he began questioning you. He started with a rather inhospitable, “why are you here?”
“I invited her,” Joshua announced, “since I ran into her at that salon place. I thought it would be nice and everything. The Gallerias can get pretty stiff if you come alone. Plus, there’s chocolate fountains.”
He appeared nettled, like he’d woken up and spilled coffee on his favourite shirt. You couldn’t place the exact emotion, nor could you identify the reason behind Jeonghan acting as though there were one-hundred choice words waiting to zap off the tip of his tongue. For an instant, you wondered if it would be worthwhile to question him, though there was a shout of the boy’s name and you spotted his parents beckoning him over from across the exhibition. Jeonghan merely rolled his eyes, disappearing just as quickly as he’d arrived to accompany them.
You folded your arms concerningly. “Do you know if something’s wrong? I haven’t seen him like that before.”
Joshua dropped the rest of the strawberry into his mouth. “He’s probably stressing over something. I wouldn’t worry too much. He’s not really one to blow up or get all in your face. I’ll talk to him later.”
Seeing as there were others who wanted to examine the camisole mannequin, you and Joshua seated yourselves at a tiny table right beside the chocolate fountain and catering foods. Though, you were unable to quell the curiosity at what Jeonghan was needed for, prompting your eyes to wander as unnaturally as possible in his direction. He’d just pulled a young woman into a hug, and she was positively gorgeous, dressed in a silk-fabric dress, form fitting and ruby red, with an elegant slit parting up to her right thigh. Her ponytail was slicked shiny as though her hair had been styled professionally, and she flaunted a dreamy smile that reminded you of a vintage female heroine.
And then, like a slap to the face, you realized she must be the woman whom Jeonghan’s parents seemed to be obsessed over.
Baejin, his ex-girlfriend.
She mentioned something into his ear, and they became giggly, the two pulling in again for another short hug. Jeonghan’s father gestured back to the pink slip mannequin, and the four walked over to discuss it for the umpteenth time. You wondered if she was going to be modeling some of the clothing. The assumption felt correct as Baejin touched the dress’ delicate fabric and the beaded, glimmering string tied around the tiny waist. Quickly, Jeonghan fetched the girl a champagne glass, the two drinking together while the father appeared to be entering another in-depth explanation. And, perhaps dignifiedly so, you were feeling mislead and upset. You speculated if this could be the reason for him to keep the Opal Galleria a secret – Jeonghan didn’t want you to catch even a glimpse of him reuniting with Baejin.
They hardly portrayed two ex’s who were now settled on different chapters to their lives. The longer you stared, the angrier, yet, more confused you felt. As you thought before, the odd relationship between you and Jeonghan was not set in stone, and it certainly didn’t ignite with the intention of actual love taking a blossom to your doorstep. It could be that you were jumping to conclusions, misreading things, or disillusioned by your tendency to wishfully think. Nonetheless, the sight still hurt.
Joshua bumped your elbow.
“Are you hungry at all? The scent from the catering tables is getting to me. I can grab a plate for you, if you want.”
With a sigh and a fragile smile, you shook your head. “No, I’ll come with you. Besides, you don’t know what I like anyways.”
“Fair enough.” Joshua agreed.
He stuck out his hand for you to take while rising from the chair.
Grabbing a small plate, you started at the end of the catering table and began making your way down, using the plastic tongs to serve yourself some spring rolls. Joshua filed after you, instead taking a bowl and scooping up some of the fresh zucchini pasta. Admittedly, you had lost your appetite after watching Jeonghan act so cordially with Baejin, though you were determined to not let the plight sour the otherwise enjoyable night you were having with Joshua. Once you reached the chocolate fountain, you swore a sparkle jumped into his eye.
“Why are you so obsessed with the fountain?” You had tried not to laugh as you asked the question.
The blonde boy looked aghast. “Because, it’s beautiful!” He picked up a strawberry arranged neatly around the base, dipping the edge briefly beneath the chocolate. “I mean, how can they make it so delicious and velvety? When I came to my first Galleria, I spent like, half my night just standing by the fountain, eating the fruit.”
You couldn’t help but think Joshua was adorable, and you grinned at him, “well, maybe I don’t have as much of a sweet tooth.”
“Just shush up and try this.”
He held out the strawberry, inviting you for a taste. At first, you paused, wondering if there was some flirtatious intention behind the gesture or if Joshua was just being his overtly kind self. And then, you held onto his wrist and took a bite from the strawberry, the warmth of the melted chocolate satin-smooth against your tongue.
Wiping the edge of your mouth, you nodded. “It is pretty tasty, actually. Let me try dipping it. You make it look weirdly fun.”
After setting down the catering plate, you took Joshua’s strawberry while he picked up a new one. Together, you pushed your fruits beneath the streaming chocolate, twisting it at the green leaf to fully coat the sides. So it wouldn’t drip, you immediately took a huge bite with a hand placed just below your mouth, humming contentedly.
“Okay,” you mumbled, still chewing, “I can see why you like this so much. I think I could get addicted to chocolate strawberry dipping.”
“Me too,” Joshua chuckled, “oh! Look, there’s whipped cream here and I didn’t even see it!” He set down his plate beside yours and grabbed the bottle like an eager little child. Popping off the cap, Joshua shook the can and pressed his fingertip against the nozzle, spraying a white-frosted peak onto the top of another strawberry. You copied him, though you had accidently sprayed too much. Once you licked the cream off your finger, you poked the entire fruit into your mouth like a funfetti-sized cupcake. For some reason, Joshua started giggling at you.
“What?” You glared at him playfully. “What’s wrong?”
Rosy tinges flushed to the arch of Joshua’s cheeks. “Uhm… Well, l-let me just—” he stuttered, cupping his hand gently to your face, his thumb brushing at a spot right below your bottom lip. “You had some whipped cream on your… chin slash lip. Sorry about that.”
“O-Oh, it’s okay.” You were stumbling yourself, tongue darting out instinctively to ensure there wasn’t anything still there.
At random, you felt this prickle tiptoe up the back of your neck, a sensation that was hardly perceptible yet singeing enough for you to notice it. Gulping, you peered toward that faceless mannequin draped in its pink slip dress, toward Jeonghan, Baejin, and his parents who were enthralled in a conversation with her. Jeonghan was glaring so blatantly at Joshua that you’d forgotten how to speak, and you couldn’t even pronounce a single word of warning as the boy started storming his way across the ballroom.
His grip was on your elbow like a viper’s teeth.
“Geez, where’d you come from?” Joshua said, though he was  able to note the tension this time, and Jeonghan’s surly behaviour.
“I need to talk to you,” Jeonghan murmured by your ear, ignoring Joshua yet again, “in the hall just outside the exhibition.”
You didn’t want to agree. Strangely enough, you felt this urge balloon inside you, an urge to cause a gigantic scene with screaming and thick tears and unnecessary curses, because as much as you wanted to dismiss your anger, there were jealous, wronged feelings inside, on fire and itching to escape from your gut. Miraculously, you held your composure, and announced to Joshua that you’d talk to him later.
Jeonghan then tore you into the empty hallway.
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It was like a lightning bolt, how quickly he exploded.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jeonghan ranted, pacing back and forth as the distant echo of music bled through the wall. “Seriously, I don’t text you back for like, three days, and you’re already going on a date with my best friend—” he softened his voice in a purposefully mocking way, “letting him get all delicate with you, feeding you all lovey-dovey style and wiping that cream off your lip. Did you think I wouldn’t see it?”
“Excuse me?” Your brow instantly creased like a folded map, and you felt an intense ache hit the front of your skull. “Um, you’re one to talk! How come you didn’t tell me about the Galleria? Because you didn’t want me to see you with your arm around your ex’s waist? Because you don’t think I’m good enough to show off to your parents?”
Jeonghan gawked at you. “Baejin? For real? You think I’ve been secretly dating her behind your back or something?”
“How am I supposed to know?” You barked, tucking your arms defensively across the chest. And, while it might have been too early into the argument to pit such a statement, you had already started bubbling, and you knew there was nothing to snuff your fire. “Besides, you hardly ever get back to me apart from when you want to fuck!”
At that, the boy was momentarily stumped. What sounded like a rebuttal fizzled at the back of his throat, though it faded away. The silence worried you, because it echoed a confirmation that Jeonghan might’ve actually never seen as you as anything more than an outlet to alleviate his carnality. That, once the Love Café ordeal was finally over with, he could forget you had ever existed like erasing a mistake of smudged lead. The thought made you glassy-eyed and thus, terribly vulnerable. However, you also craved the truth to your relationship.
“Just admit it,” you beseeched him, “admit that you want me only for sex and nothing else. Is that why you didn’t bring up the Galleria? Because you think it’s easier to shove me in the dark when it’s convenient for you? Is that why you were acting so mad?”
He skimmed a hand exasperatedly through his hair. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not dating Baejin behind your back, I have never once thought you weren’t good enough to show off to my parents, and I didn’t purposefully hide the Galleria from you.”
“Right,” you scoffed, “but you’re fine with labelling me as a friend and pretending like we don’t hook up every week.”
“It’s…” he clenched his teeth and growled in frustration, “it’s complicated, alright? Can’t you just accept that?”
“Complicated?” A shudder coursed down your spine at having to repeat the boy, and the tears sprung from your eyes with such a sharp sting that it became impossible to hold them back. You felt each drop, cold and runny, drip along your face. “That’s the word you’re going to use? You’re going to look straight at me, after the entire span of our relationship since the Love Café, and tell me we’re summed up best as complicated?” Again, the word struck you like a stiff punch. If he was going to regard your connection so trivially, then you didn’t care whether or not he knew the verity of your heart. Like it would affect him anyways.
“I would’ve said we were in love,” you shrugged, watching his expression drop in a mere instant, “but—sure, let’s call it complicated.”
And, with the tears shining like salt stars on your face, you stalked out the building into the softening winter weather.
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You didn’t know it could be so difficult to ignore someone, especially when you were supposed to hate them. The effect Jeonghan had on you was almost phantom-like; a constant lingering, even if the boy himself wasn’t palpable and poised right before your eyes.
It had been three days since the outburst at the Galleria. That night, you cried, and wept, and broke out the amber bottle stored beneath your sink which was only sipped from in occasions of complete misery – very well suited to the situation at hand. You had questioned calling the Love Café’s customer service desk to issue a termination of your card, and, at one point, you were standing drunkenly by the toilet contemplating your decision to rip up the red paper and flush it. Though, nothing ever came of either idea. Instead, you faceplanted onto your bed and allowed the intoxicated dizziness to fade black. The next morning, you were faced with multiple texts from Jeonghan, missed phone calls, voice notes. But you didn’t listen or respond to anything.
Complicated. That was the word you kept hearing.
Absolutely not, you had thought that morning, you weren’t ready to speak with him, even if the temptation seemed like it could be promising. The air was still too bitter. And you couldn’t handle another argument.
On the second day after the outburst, you were seated at the receptionist desk in the salon, flicking through a magazine while you became increasingly mindless to the humming of the blow dryer and the potent fragrance of the hair products. When you glanced out the window, you nearly combusted, as both Joshua and Jeonghan were about to enter the salon together, hurrying in from the melted snow and winter’s final downpour. You hid in the breakroom until they left, forcing your co-worker to take your position at the desk. Joshua was apparently getting his hair trimmed while Jeonghan had asked about you at the reception.
“He’s gorgeous!” Your co-worker had immediately gushed to you in the breakroom. “Why are you avoiding someone like that?”
“It’s complicated.” You’d phrased it simply.
Dang it. You hated the fact you’d used that stupid word.
But, on the third day, most of your bitterness was gone.
After breakfast, you were back at the vanity mirror to prepare for work, and while you buffed some makeup to sit seamlessly on the skin with your puffy foundation brush, there was a knock at your door. This time, you didn’t bother peeping through the fisheye lens, because you knew exactly who it was – damn his persistence. Jeonghan’s brown hair had been slightly mused in the wind, and there was a glow as soft as a peach to each his cheeks. But that easygoing, relaxed smile was by far the most heart fluttering. He extended a coffee cup to you. When you reached out, Jeonghan suddenly pulled the coffee away with a tsking sound.
“You can have it only if—” he held up his finger, “you agree to let me in so I can explain myself. Yes, I’m bribing you. And yes, I’m an asshole from time to time. But five minutes at least. That’s all I need.”
For a moment, you wavered, only to mutter a resounding, “fine.”
Despite Jeonghan’s company, you still had work to get ready for, so the boy followed you into the bedroom. He took a seat on the edge of your mattress while you settled back into the vanity chair. Picking through your jar of makeup brushes, you plucked a round, oval-tipped one to apply your eyeshadow. Jeonghan was silent at first, watching you through the mirror as you hurried about the look. It wasn’t perfect, in fact it was a bit sloppy and rushed and there was already some fallout  sitting like a glittered dust on your cheeks, though Jeonghan was staring at you with such fondness, you wondered if the mirror was reflecting the same image. Of course, the Love Card was sitting on your desk too.
“Well,”  you spun around in the chair, pressing your lips together, “I’m waiting for you to explain, y’know. Like you said you would. Technically, you’ve lost a couple minutes, and I should really try to be at the salon early, but I’m still going to give you full time since—"
“I love you.”
“… What?”
“I love you,” Jeonghan repeated himself casually, a slow smile spilling from each corner of his mouth, “I’m in love with you, as deep as I could be, I think. Anyways, you want me to keep saying it? I love you.”
It felt like someone had taken a picture with the blinding glare of its flash, a picture you couldn’t be more unprepared for, the dots still dancing and fumbling across your vision. The moment was disorienting, but you experienced a very fulgurant warmth take shape inside you. It was comforting yet daunting, a sugar rush and a hangover, something so alive you knew you wanted it more than anything else in the world.
Yet, “you… are in love with me?” was all that you could express.
Jeonghan fiddled with the coffee cup in his hands. “You’re a funny girl, you know that? But I can say it a fifth time if you want.”
“N-No, I—I just, I wasn’t expecting—”
“Yeah, I can see that, “ he’d laughed, though it quickly fell into a sigh and suddenly Jeonghan’s temperament had shifted. “Look, I know that night wasn’t pretty. I know I ghosted you. I know I didn’t tell you about the stupid Galleria,” the boy glanced up, catching your eye, “but… I didn’t say anything because I was confused. I knew your Love Card only had one signature left, and just like that… you could be in my bed for the last time. If we’re really gonna get sentimental about it,”
Jeonghan chuckled, scratching his chin a bit shyly, “it could be my last time holding you, and kissing you… I just, I didn’t want it to be like that. But I didn’t know how to confront you about it, so I hid. And I stressed myself out, and I got so stupidly jealous and angry when I saw you with Joshua. That was my bad. I should’ve been upfront.”
Tucking your hands together anxiously in your lap, you nodded, beginning to understand the missing pieces.
“Thank you for saying that.” You murmured, tapping your feet in a nervous rhythm against the floor. “I… I was being unreasonable and jealous too,” you subsequently admitted, “I was assuming things about you and Baejin when I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what I was expecting anyways, that you act like she doesn’t exist? It was dumb, and I was adding pressure. I’m sorry too.” Wanting to lighten the tone, you smiled at him, “I guess we both have our flaws, huh?”
He returned the tender glance and held out the coffee cup.
“I guess we do.”
You grabbed it politely.
Turning around in the chair, you grabbed the bright red Love Card off the vanity, initialed until its last circle, “what should we do with this? I mean, we kind of messed up their rules, fooling around more than twelve times. And, well, I’m not gonna renew it.”
“Oh, let me see.” Jeonghan said.
As soon as you passed the card to him, he ripped it clean in half, crumpled each piece, balled them together in his hands and tossed the shreds into the trash can sat in the corner.
“Well, that was fucking easy,” he smiled, getting up from the mattress, “aren’t you late for work? Do you need a drive?”
You looked at your alarm clock.
“If you can get me there in the next ten minutes, that’d be great.”
Jeonghan headed to the front door while you hurriedly grabbed your coat from the closet and snatched your bag off the floor, resting the strap over your shoulder. With the coffee still in hand, you headed into the living area, looking around in one final swoop to make sure you had everything packed for the day. A sheet of sunlight spilt into the room from outside the window, pale, like the morning sky, yet filling every crevice of the cheap apartment with a dull shine. And for a very fleeting moment, you thought this place wasn’t so abhorrent. It had been your home, your stepping stone, a thumbprint which identified a period of hardship and growth. But, despite this bittersweet taste on your tongue, you couldn’t envision yourself staying.
“Come on,” Jeonghan pinched your hip, “at this rate I’ll get a speeding ticket trying to get you to work on time.”
Turning around, you stuck a kiss to the boy’s cheek, just catching the cool beginning of a smirk on that dazzling face of his as you interlaced your fingers and pulled him into the corridor.
No, you could not stay here.
Not when your future was with Jeonghan.
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✧✎ a/n: yeah, so this was clearly A LOT longer than the original love café teehee. i remembered the plot vaguely therefore i refused to reread my first version weufhewif PLS IT MAKES ME CONVULSE SO BAD !! i just had to rewrite the plot and do it some actual justice! i hope this version is a lot better and that you rly enjoyed it! i wish yjh would give me money but i guess we can’t all live in a fantasy world!! thx for reading!!
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yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
The Needs of Pain
A/n as promised,,, here is my gift to you bc I finished ap gov today :))
The darkling x heartrender!reader story based on the whole ‘no one but me can hurt you’ thing :))
Warnings: sexual innuendos,, attempts to sexualize pain if you squint, kinda lemon-y
I kinda want to write a smutty part 2 let’s see lol 
Summary: after a training injury, Kirigan reveals how he views the dynamic of your relationship and figures out how to best help you work through the pian 
--
In an odd way, the most painful part of my injury had been the wound on my pride, not my shoulder. Though the pain that begins beneath my collarbone and continues down my left shoulder is not exactly pleasant. I can’t bring myself to pity myself too much as I stare at the extent of my burns. There’s a war going on. People die, people lose loved ones, I have to tolerate pain for an hour or two before a healer can be sent to be. 
I told Genya I’d be fine in the medical wing, but she insisted that I wait for a healer to be sent to me. The people here look up to me, if news of my injury got out, especially considering it’s a training wound, morale would take a blow we can’t currently afford. Genya had looked relatively sympathetic when she told me that many healers were occupied considering how difficult training had been and I had told her I could bear the weight. 
Now, in my room, staring at the basin full of water, I’m starting to regret my desire to be self sacrificing. I dip the towel in the water, squeezing out the excess before daring to dab the fabric on the outer edge of the wound. The feeling is fire against my skin all over again. An instinctual curse leaves me as I drop the towel on the counter that surrounds the basin. 
Arthur hadn’t meant it. I can still hear the frantic apologies tumbling from his full lips. He should have been more focused on the task at hand, he should have never stopped to look at me, at the way I could control so many living things at once. In some odd sense, his distraction had been a compliment. Many of the girls here would sell anything to have Arthur’s attention, even if it resulted in such a careless mistake. 
I grimace, picking up the towel and preparing to start again. I should at least clean it before the healers have to deal with both a physical injury and an infection. The sound of my door flying open and then shutting angrily is enough of a distraction for me to accidentally dab the towel against my skin too harshly. I curse again, turning my head towards the bathroom door. Did Genya exaggerate the severity of my wound? Are the healers that desperate to get to me? 
I turn on my toes, towel forgotten by the basen full of water as I approach the door that connects my room with the bathroom. “I’m--” Words meant to calm a frantic healer stick to the back of my throat as soon as I register all the black in the room. General Kirigan. Great. He no doubt heard about my injury after prying it from Genya and now he’s here to scold me for the childishness of it all. To be injured because a boy and I just couldn’t help ‘make eyes at each other’. All he does is insult my refusal to become bitter just because I was born possessing power. 
“You’re what?” His words are a different level of callous, darker than the shadows he creates with the will of his mind alone. “An idiot that let herself be sent back to her room instead of demanding to see a healer?” 
That’s an odd thing for him to focus his anger on. At least it’s not fully directed at me. On instinct, I half turn, attempting to hide my injury from his piercing eyes. My instinct tells me he should never see me so mortal. “Genya recommended it,” my words are determined yet calm, “It’s such a small injury it isn’t worth risking everyone’s morale. A healer will come here when one is available.” 
His face tightens in what must be some kind of disgusted disbelief. “Foolish girl--have you no instinct for preservation?” 
Every decision I’ve made since being injured made sense before he spoke to me. The fierceness of his voice leaves my face warmer than it was a moment ago and reminds me of the stem of my dislike for him. General Kirigan speaks and I am left a clumsy child. “Some things are more important than one’s self.” I expect he’ll turn that into something else to mock or belittle about me. “And it’s not a grave injury it’s barely--” 
The distance between us seemed so great less than a second ago, but he’s closed it so quickly, grabbing my left wrist and extending my arm forward so that I can’t hide anything from him. “You’re burned.” There’s the slightest bit of surprise coloring his words along with something else I can’t interpret. “How did you get burned?” 
Kirigan doesn’t know. My stomach knots, anticipating embarrassment. “Training incident--I was standing too close to an Inferni.” 
His grip on my arm tightens. I grimace as he pulls me forward with no regard for my injury. “Who?” The voracious way he says the word leaves my thoughts trembling. He is a void of darkness, starving for a victim to snuff the light out of.  
When my thoughts settle, I cannot bring myself to tell him the truth. “I didn’t see, I was distracted by the burning.” I exhale slowly, desperate to escape the flames behind his eyes the way I could not escape the fire of earlier. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve been injured worse in training.” His hold on my arm doesn’t loosen, I glance down at his hand, his firm grip on me somehow worse than the burn. “You’ve injured me worse in training.” 
“I may push you, exhaust you, and leave you mad--but I have never done anything that comes close to--that!” The last of his words carry themselves louder than the rest. 
If the skin of my shoulder wasn’t so sensitive I’d try fighting his tightening grasp. The accusation on my part had been a little much, but it was meant to serve as a reminder that he’s not one to care about my comfort or well being. “Why does it matter?” I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze. “You’ve never cared about any of my injuries before.” 
Kirigan releases my arm in a stiff trance, raising his hand to brush his thumb down my cheek. The contact is reminiscent of an extremely different moment. “The first night here you only let a few tears escape you when you were convinced that no one could see them. Do you remember how I turned and wordlessly wiped them away?” His gesture had not been comforting then and it isn’t comforting now. He never wanted to comfort me, he wanted to assert some strange power over me. “I let those tears fall because they were because of me and I knew it was for the best.” I say nothing, letting his thumb ghost tears that will not come. “The moment I discovered you, what you could be, you became mine.” 
“I am no one’s.” The reaction is instinctual, a pride my mother instilled in me. My voice is too loud, too brash. “I am my own.” 
I brace myself for his anger, but all I receive is the slight relaxation of his lips. “It’s things like that give you so much potential in other ways.” His voice is a jagged rock caressing my skin, not minding the scrapes it leaves behind. “You’re a fair plaything, as well as useful.”  
He’s speaking so gently his voice borders on vulnerable. Something in me warms, but I can’t tell why. I know that Kirigan finds joy in my discomfort--why else would he belittle me so often? “The healer will be here soon.” 
“Yes,” he makes no move to leave, instead Kirigan grabs my wrist again, forcing me to turn so that he can analyze the extent of my burn, “Which is why I will ask you again…” I try to catch his gaze, but his stone stare is focused on my burned shoulder entirely. “Who did this?” 
“I told you.” He can never know. “It was a training accident.” 
“And someone is responsible.” 
I let out a breath, tired of feeling so incomplete. I just want to be healed and go to sleep. “Why does it matter?” His fingers trail up my arm patiently, my body betrays me by shivering. “Accidents happen, you’ve put me in more risk than--” 
“I’ve always intended to break you one way or another,” his voice is more supple than it’s ever been before, “Your goodness is too tempting to not tarnish.” He turns my wrist over easily, ignoring my slight wince. “But if someone else were to do it…” Kirigan trails off, expression tightening in a way I can’t read, “I don’t let others break my play things.” 
Some strange resolve in my chest cracks at that. “Kirigan--” 
“Who are you protecting?” He moves his free hand, placing it without reservation on my shoulder. “Not telling me will only make it worse.” 
Thoughts of Arthur paying for such a small mistake leaves my stomach rolling in guilt. “Make what worse?” 
His expression tightens again. I wait for some kind of rebuke. Kirigan’s lips part as if he expects to criticize my naivety, but instead of speaking he turns sharply. He doesn't release his grip on my wrist as he leads me into my bathroom. 
“What are you doing?” 
Kirigan ignores my surprise, releasing me to pick up the towel I was so quick to abandon. “If you’re too good to take a healer from someone, you should at least avoid infection.” 
“I’m not an idiot, I was cleaning it.” The sharpness of my tone is ignored, Kirigan simply places one hand on my forearm to keep me in place. “Wha--”
 He brushes his thumb over my pulse gently in an effective attempt to silence me. I part my lips in hopes of protesting, but something odd reflects across his eyes. It must be some trick of the light because his expression seems...hesitant. Maybe even concerned. And then cool fabric is pressed into my burn. I bite my tongue so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t bleed. 
“Saints.” 
His expression shifts to that of almost amusement. “I think I’d like to hear you curse in a,” he exhales softly, fingertips trailing up my forearm, “Slightly different scenario.” 
The shock of such a bold innuendo clears my mind from thoughts of pain. But the most startling thing is that the innuendo isn’t entirely unwanted. In the wake of my surprise, he presses the wet towel into my wound again. I fight against a grimace, but that doesn’t go unnoticed by Kirigan. Instead of mentioning it, his free arm touches my uninjured shoulder. For the first time since he’s come here I’m aware of how improper my attire is. I changed out of my starched kefta and into a silk nightgown in order to leave my shoulder unbothered. Genya had helped me change, bearing all of my grimacing and pained curses. 
I should push him off of me. Kirigan can get away with a lot because of his status, but I by no means have to allow something like this. I should not feel shy, I should not be embarrassed. He’s the one that’s out of line. I look up into his eyes, prepared to yell at him for being so out of line. But when I meet his eyes, I see something so un-monstrous I am left breathless. There’s a gentleness to the way he tilts his head downwards, eyes never leaving mine. Is he asking for permission? Permission to--to what? I stay frozen as his lips brush against the unmarred side of my collarbone. His touch is almost enough to make me forget pain ever existed. He pulls away enough that I can feel his breath against the base of my neck. Thoughts I’d never dare speak are banished as the towel presses against my skin again. My face cringes immediately, but he’s quick to press his lips to the base of my neck, lingering kisses melting into my skin. 
“I thought you said you were fine.” His chiding is half-hearted, whispered between two brief kisses against my bare ski. 
He dabs the towel on the burn again, but before I can think to complain, his lips are against my skin again. This time, his lips part slightly allowing his teeth to graze over my pulse. Kirigan pulls away slightly, expression hardening, “I’m almost sorry about this part.” His words leave him in a whisper as influential as sin. 
“What part?” My voice feels foreign in my throat. 
Kirigan doesn’t reply, but then I feel the sharpest pain yet. The towel is cleaning the worst of the burn, the ruined patch of skin that will never recover without supernatural intervention. The gasp I let out is that of a bird with shattered wings. A cry forms in the base of my throat, but before it can leave me, Kirigan’s teeth bite into the skin above my pulse. The pained sound is reduced by my shock, twisting in an odd combination of some kind of pained sound and something dangerously close to a moan. 
He releases me with one last soft brush of his lips, straightening his back and retracting the towel. “There.” Kirigan drops the towel onto the bathroom counter. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”
I can still feel the ghost of his lips, tongue, and teeth against my skin. I understand now. Each kiss had been a way to distract me, to lessen the pain. Something odd swells in my chest as I try to will my eyes to stop watering in pain. 
Kirigan presses his lips together, pressing his hand against my cheek again. His thumb brushes the few stray tears that escape me. “Don’t cry,” his tone is pure velvet, “I won’t tolerate tears in your eyes caused by anyone else.” He tilts his head oddly, hand sliding down my cheek before gripping my jaw, “I can provide reason for your tears if you’d like.” 
Inhaling deeply, I continue to stare at him. Today has been so sudden. He’s flirted with me through strangely sexual insults and threats before, but never has he been so forward about it. 
“I’m fine,” I force my voice to remain clear. He nods once. A soft rap at my door has me turning away from him. “The healer--I shoul--” 
“Come in,” he calls, voice clear and leaving no room for argument. 
My eyes widen. To be caught with him here could be detrimental for my reputation. Kirigan pulls away, something sharp playing at his features, something almost humorous. 
He leaves the bathroom like this is his own room. “Her wound is clean, work quickly.” I walk out of the bathroom in a strange trance. Kirigan’s gaze lands on me as I enter the main part of my room, “I need her at her full strength for what I have planned.” 
There’s a heaviness to his words, a weight that tells me he means more than what his words imply. Goosebumps erupt across my skin as I try to banish the thoughts of his mouth against my skin between inflictions of pain, blending together to create the most intense sense of fight or flight I’ve ever experienced. 
Kirigan begins to approach the door to my room. “I’ll be checking on her later.”
--
People that asked to be tagged in this/expressed interest:
@luminous-99 @voyevoda-thejoy @voidmalfoy @i-padfootblack-things @all-art-is-quite-useless @buckverse @mandowh0re @uhanddreag  
@we-love-our-bandz 
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themrsackerman · 3 years
Text
Angel of Paradis
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader
Warnings: Spoilers from Season 4. Mentions of gun violence, blood, death
A/N: Now I know EP8 is only the beginning of the end but goddamn it hurts!! I love potato girl and losing her just tore me to bits. So here, take this. Its my way of coping I guess..
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Levi is pissed off. From the start, he disliked the plan but it wasn't like Eren gave you all much of a choice. So the moment the kid got on the airship, he was welcomed with one of the captain's infamous kicks. The cockpit wall quakes with the impact and Hange sighs, shooting you a look. "I think you need to get out there and make sure Levi doesn't kill Eren, Y/n." She says exasperatedly and you nod, rising from your seat next to Onyankopon.
"I'll be right back." You say and she flashes you a knowing grin, shaking her head slightly. Even the commander knows you're the only one who could reign in the Levi Ackerman.
You see Levi on the corner glaring at Eren as he was being tied up. You sigh heavily, seeing Eren steaming as he heals. Jaw probably unhinged from the captain's kick. You sat beside him on the bench and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping his face clean from dirt and blood.
"Y/n-san." He greets you monotonously and you gave him a kind smile. "Hey, kid." You greet back, tucking loose strands of his now long hair behind his ear.
Your heart aches at the sight. He used to have so much fire, had the same will to fight for humanity that you only ever saw in your mentor, Erwin. Now all you see is ember of pure hatred and cold blooded need for revenge. "I'm glad you're okay." You murmur. Eren's blank stare softens for a second and a small smile hints the corner of his mouth. "Glad to see you too, Lieutenant." He says quietly and out of the corner of your eyes, you see Levi roll his eyes and make a disgruntled sound as he turns around.
You walk up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Levi meets your gaze with his dull gray ones for a second and sighs, his expression softening too. At this you smile a little and say, "We still have a long battle to fight ahead of us, Captain. Things might not have gone smoothly, but we won today." You remind him and as if proving your point, right on the other side of the ship you hear the soldiers celebrate as they reunite.
"You're right." He agrees. Levi then takes a deep breath and grabs the hand you placed on his shoulder so he can bring it to his face. He turns his head and placed a chaste kiss on your palm. Your heart flutters at the gesture. It isn't grand but was still something you couldn't quite get used to. You two never declared your love for one another, never really had the luxury of time or chance to do so, but small acts like this was enough to let you know that your presence provided him the calm he sorely needs. And that was all you want. Be his peace in this war.
"I'm going to check if the rest of the squad made it back up." You tell him, grazing your thumb on his lower lip and he reluctantly lets you go. "Be back as soon as you can. Meeting will start as soon as this fucking monkey heals enough." He says, cold glare flashing at the other Jaeger who is a pile of steam still laying on the ground. "Okay, I'll just check on Lima's squad. They're the last ones to be picked up supposedly." Levi nods again and watches you leave before turning to talk to Yelena.
You smile past Floch and the other soldiers who are weeping, hugging and making their tributes for those whom had fallen in battle. You then saw three of the soldiers you've grown close with through the years. They were huddled in the corner, sharing a hug.
You hear Jean say in protest, "Dont hug people with that lump ass iron gear on.", while shrugging off Connie's arm. You chuckle at this and tackled him back to the embrace. "Shut the hell up, Jean. I would take Connie's armored hugs any day!" To which the trio whines out, " Lieutenant Y/l/n!!" when you squished them tight.
Although the new gear designed by Hange was in deed not made for hugging, you four relaxed in the uncomfortable embrace. Grounded by the fact that you all made it safe despite the battle you had just gone through. Connie and Sasha smile up at you while Jean tries to still look annoyed, although the softness in his eyes says otherwise.
The soldiers left below start coming in and the cheering just grows even louder. You didn't have the heart to stop them because you yourself are quite happy that today was a success despite some casualties. Now, you have the War Hammer titan as well and were able to destroy the fleet. Now, the Eldians' chance stands higher against this damn war.
"Did you hear that just now?"
Sasha asks out of the blue and you turn to her in wonder. Honestly you couldn't hear anything but the soldiers celebrating. But out of the lot of you, you know Sasha's sense of hearing is far superior than all of you combined. So you take a step back from the crowd and actually looked around.
"Hey, quiet down!!"Jean yells over the chanting but Floch shouts, "Make some noise! Victory!!!" And was echoed by the rest as they embraced and pumped their fists in the air.
"Hey!" Jean tries again only to be pulled by Connie to the side to ask, "Isn't Lobov-san still out there?"
"No, I think he came aboard." Jean says thoughtfully and this was when something didn't sit quite right with you. Commander Lobov is a man that is hard to miss. And with his dedication to this mission to make up for his years being a useless garrison, he would be amongst the soldiers cheering the loudest for the said victory.
Your instincts has never failed you before and its the very reason why you are so good at your job and able to survive this long. But sometimes, you wish that your instincts aren't always right because you always perceive danger. And right now, every fiber of your being is telling you something is fucking wrong.
That if you were to look out the airship right now, you'll probably see the commander lifeless.
Or worse, an enemy may have made its way up to the ship.
Your blood runs cold for a split second before you acted purely out of instinct. You shove Sasha to the side, dreading as you head for the airship's side door and at the exact moment.. someone aboards.
Your gaze met the kid's muddy brown ones. It was determined, filled with fury and you saw that there isn't any trace of hesitation as her finger pulls the trigger. You knew you didn't stand a chance judging by look on her face and her sure aim on your torso. The word of warning you want to let out was caught in your throat as she fires.
You remember seeing those crazed brown eyes and then the ceiling of the airship the next. The sensation of what can only be compared to fire piercing your skin spreads through your chest and insides like molten metal. You hear the indistinct noise of the soldiers' voices grow louder yet muffled at the same time around you.
From happy cheers to manic, hysterical screaming.
You couldn't catch your breath at first and you aren't sure from which. Was it from falling flat on your back? Or was it the searing pain that made tears leak from your eyes?
And then above the chaos, you hear your three closest comrades call your name in unison.
"Lieutenant Y/n, hey!!!" Connie's frantic voice shrill through the limited space of the ship. "Hang in there, hey!" You feel him rattle you, placing his rough calloused hand against your cheek. Jean's panic stricken face comes to your field of vision and you whimper,  "A kid." You gasp. "In the airship."
"Bandages! Now! We need to stop the bleeding!" Jean commands shakily and the rest of the soldiers that aren't capturing the two intruders scramble to get the med kit and the captain.
"Y/n-san, please hold on until we make it to the island!!" Connie pleads but hopelessness crawls his veins as he sees your blood flood the wooden floors.
"Keep him safe." You whisper out to nobody. The captain in mind. Your eye lids grow heavy but you didn't want to close them. No. You can't die. You promised him.
"Don't you dare die on me, Y/l/n." His voice echoes in your mind, compelling you to keep breathing despite how excruciating it feels.
Sasha who was frozen at first, snapped out of her shock as she hears Connie's voice call your name out of sheer panic when your eyes fall close. She then runs to meet the soldier carrying the bandages and was at your side in an instant. With trembling hands, Sasha tries with all her might to wrap you up and stop the bleeding.
"No, no, no, no!!" She starts sobbing while watching the bandage turn red, your gushing blood seeping through no matter how tight she puts the wrap around you. "Y/n-san, no, you can't leave us like this." Sasha hiccups, wiping her tears hastily before grabbing your now cold clammy hand and pressing it to her face. "Please!" She cries, eyes falling close.
If you hadn't pushed her, if you didn't step in her place, it would have been her that got shot. Guilt rakes through her as she watches you desperately fight for your life.
You can feel yourself drifting and you felt helpless. You then meet Sasha's, Jean's and then Connie's gaze, muttering with your remaining strength, "Protect him." And it was no request but an order.
Jean stumbles away, his hands going over his ears, unable to stand your labored breaths and Connie and Sasha's whimpering. Jean felt like hurling when Floch turned the kids to him. The other responsible for you being on the brink of death.
But to those two kids, they are the enemies who wreck havoc to their hometown. Floch wanted to kill them and throw them out but what good would that do? Would taking their lives save yours? And knowing you, who practically treat soldiers like them like your kids even though you were just a few years older than them, you would be disappointed in him at the mere thought of hurting these kids.
Jean can almost hear your angelic voice, "They're just children." You would say. So with a vexed expression and heavy turmoil growing within him, he ties them up and led them to where the captain and commander are.
Jean swallows hard when the captain's cold gaze met his and asks, "Who are these kids?"
By the looks of it, he still does not know.
"They killed Lobov-san and used his gear to come aboard." A lump forms in his throat, suddenly can no longer meet the captain's gaze. "A-and this one here, she.. shot Lieutenant Y/l/n."
Levi's eyes widen. Did he just hear Jean correctly? You? Shot? You were with him just minutes ago. No, how is that possible?-
"Captain, I-I don't think she'll make it." He continues, voice faltering. The grievance in Jean's face make Levi's blood run cold. He stumbles forward a bit as Armin and Mikasa run past him but he seemed frozen in his tracks.
No.
You got hurt but you'll pull through this. You always have. You promised him. And you are one of the toughest people he knows.
Levi tries to convince himself as he glared back at Zeke. He tries to distract himself from the cold fear of losing you with the blinding rage he feels for the Beast Titan wielder. But then, the door swings open again and Levi felt something terribly wrong right away.
And when Connie appears with tears sliding down his face and says,
"Y/n-san.. is dead."
Levi's entire world shifts.
Everyone was shellshocked for a moment. Because how could you be gone just like that? When you were just with them just minutes ago providing comfort to all of them? Passing by and giving them a wave of peace and calmness like the angel that you are.
Hange wobbles, her knees growing weak and its as if someone had punched her in the chest. The pain reminiscent as the day she watched Moblit vanish before her eyes. You were her right hand woman. Her confidant.
Eren's head hung in disbelief. His mind clouded by your kind smile just earlier and telling him you're actually glad to see him. Him. The monster who had just devastated a whole town and killed probably thousands of people. He thought that by now, he'd have gotten used to losing the people around him but losing you is gutting him. Its was like losing family. A sister.
"Connie.. did Y/n-san have any last words?" He asks mindlessly, wanting to know what your last thoughts were. Connie blinks through his tears and his eyes drifts to the captain, whose face was undreadable and knuckles threatening to split open at how tightly his balled fists are clenched.
"She said.. 'Protect him.'" Connie mutters and Levi's facade breaks.
The mob of weeping soldiers parted as the captain staggers to the back of the ship where you lay. Armin and Mikasa were still curled up beside you, their faces red and puffy from wailing. Both of them reluctantly stood up and stepped away as he walks closer. His gaze was still trained on the ground as he puts one foot in front of the other.
He shudders and stop midstep as his foot steps on the crimson stained wood. Before he knows it, he falls on his knees with a thud. Your pale hand comes into his field of vision and he takes a deep shakey breath as he reaches for it. His eyes darts everywhere but your face. The bandage on your middle, the boots on your feet that he had his fair share of shinning as his token of appreciation for you making his morning teas, the emblem of the Wings of Freedom embedded on your breast plate.
Your hand felt cold and stiff against his. A stark contast of the warmth it exuded on his cheek just moments ago.
"Y/n?" He croaks.
Suddenly his breathing shallows as the deafening silence stretches on. He can still smell you but can no longer feel you although you're right fucking there. Levi wanted this to some fucked up nightmare. But then, as he steels his nerves and finally looked at your face, his heart shatters.
Your hair is uncharacteristically dishevelled, e/c eyes lifeless, pupils middilated and your mouth parted ever so slightly.
Levi pulls you in his arms frantically, plethora of would have been and should have been anchoring his heart into a sea of regret.
He should have never let you out the damn door.
He should have held you tighter.
He should have you talked to you longer.
He should have told you.. he loves you.
He never even got to tell you.
Levi's face crumples, face reddening before a resentful yell erupts from him. The soldiers wince at the sound. It was pure agony and it pierces through each and everyone of them, bringing the lot of them back to tears if they ever stopped in the first place.
The entire flight back to Paradis, Levi held you the way he wished he did while you were still with him.
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bensolosbluesaber · 3 years
Text
Returning a Favor (Zemo x Reader fic)
TFATWS Ep. 4 Spoilers!!
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Summary: When your old friend, Sam Wilson, needs your help in Riga you drop everything and go. You knew they broke Baron Helmut Zemo out of jail, but you didn't expect to bond with the villain. (AKA: I thought getting hit in the face by the Shield would at least leave a bruise. Here's how that would go down with a fourth person.)
CW: Blood, wounds, some creepy behavior (not from Zemo), a few Y/N inserts
No smut yet, just cute cuddles and taking care of each other. Maybe smut in the future though! Let me know if you want a Part 2 or added to a tag list for potential future fics! I think the reader can be any gender; I tried to write it that way and be inclusive, but please tell me if I messed up!
If you know me in real life, no you don't:) I write most of my fics on @aurora521 and write on AO3 and fanfiction.net under the same name. Please don't come for me about finding Zemo attractive.
Hope you enjoy!
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Returning a Favor
Meet me in Riga. -S
That was the text you received from Sam Wilson, your old military friend, yesterday. And now here you are, outside the Riga airport walking toward Sam in traditional undercover superhero attire- a baseball hat and sunglasses.
“Thanks for coming,” he greeted. “We have a little problem.”
“Is his name Baron Helmut Zemo by chance?” You asked, following him to a jet black sports car.
You were very aware of just what type of trouble Sam was getting himself into since you, a SWORD agent, still had access to all kinds of classified information.
“See for yourself,” Sam muttered, gesturing to the back door of the car and climbing in the driver's seat himself.
You hesitated for a moment, then opened the door and slid into the back. And yes, Zemo was there, lounging back with legs spread. He’s wearing a long coat with fur lining, a deep purple shirt, black pants, and shiny leather shoes. He nods to you and smirks ever so slightly. Bucky Barnes, who you had only heard about but recognized immediately, turns from his spot in the front seat and smiles at you.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Y/N,” he says.
“And I you,” you respond.
Sam pulls out of the parking lot with a screech of tires. The ride is mostly silent, Sam and Bucky bickering occasionally. That made you smile, knowing that as much as Bucky annoyed Sam, this was the type of relationship he craved. Zemo watched you the entire drive, sizing you up.
The home they’re staying at is obviously the Baron's. He’s comfortable there, leaning against the counters, rifling through cabinets, lounging on the couch.
“So what am I doing here?” You finally asked.
The three men interact easily, and either Sam or Bucky is always watching Zemo. There’s no real need for a fourth person to get involved, at least not in your mind.
“Someone needs to babysit the Baron,” Sam explained with an annoyed sigh.
Zemo shrugged with a smirk so innocent it’s sinister. He’s still wearing that ridiculous coat.
“The two Avengers can’t handle him?”
“I believe your friends find it challenging to be around me,” Zemo answered for Sam.
“You shot a man in the head yesterday!” Sam snapped. “You antagonize Bucky at every turn. Forgive us for needing a break from whatever is happening in your fucked up head.”
Zemo tilts his head as if agreeing with everything Sam had just said.
“Anyway,” Bucky interrupted. “We have a lead on Karli. You can sleep off some jet lag while we’re gone, but starting tonight it’s your turn to keep track of him.”
You settled into a small bedroom. The moment your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep. At home it’s nearly ten at night; here it’s midday.
The trio is back all too soon, heralded by a slam of a door, and you force yourself to wake up to adjust to the time change as rapidly and effectively as possible. As you open the door to the living room, Bucky is stalking toward Zemo. He grabs the teacup from Zemo’s hand and hurls it against the wall.
“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?” Bucky growled, staring at Zemo with an unnerving glint in his eyes.
“Take it easy. Don’t engage him,” Sam jumped up and grabbed Bucky’s arm. “He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.”
Bucky’s face softened slightly. Zemo stops tilting his head.
“Let me make a call,” Sam says and walks away.
“You want some cherry blossom tea?” Zemo offers Bucky with a mocking tone.
“No. You go ahead,” Bucky hissed, and after a moment of staring, he followed Sam out of the room.
You had watched Zemo for that entire exchange, noticed the slightest flinch and hint of fear when Bucky had grabbed that cup. The moment the other two men are gone and Zemo thinks he’s alone, he pours himself another cup. His hand is steady, but he draws a sharp, unsteady breath.
You move out of the room, and Zemo looks up at you from his spot on the couch. Without a word, you walk into the kitchen, taking a roll of paper towels and carefully picking up the shattered glass.
“I can do that,” Zemo says, speaking directly to you for the first time.
His voice is calm, accent thick.
“It’s alright,” you answer, then gasp sharply as a piece slices your pointer finger from tip to palm. “Fuck.”
You set the bloody piece with the pile of glass and hold a paper towel to your hand. You used the other hand to wipe tea off the wall and floor before picking up the glass piled on a paper towel and placing it in the trash, carefully tucked in other garbage.
“Let me.”
Zemo’s voice behind you makes you jump. You eye him for a moment wondering if there is some ulterior motive, some way he could hurt you or hold you hostage. Nothing comes to mind, not with Sam and Bucky so close, so you hold out your bleeding hand. He clicks his tongue at the wound.
When he takes your hand in his, his fingers are soft and warm. He moves your wound under a faucet and lets water run, rinsing the blood down the sink. He squeezes the wound a bit, and you wince as it begins to bleed more.
“We bleed to clean our wounds. It is the body’s way of protecting itself,” he says and presses a towel to your finger as he shuts off the water. “Ironic isn’t it. The very thing meant to protect us from future danger, often kills us first.”
“I’m not here to debate the ethics of superheroes with you.”
“Hold that,” he lets go of your hand and opens another cabinet. “I know how I feel about enhanced humans. There is nothing for me to debate.”
Zemo takes your hand back in his. You watch his face as he works. He uses his mouth to remove the wrapping from a butterfly bandage. The bleeding has slowed, and he uses the bandage to pull your torn skin back together. The cut isn’t terrible, certainly not the worst injury you’ve ever had, but it will scar. He adds two more strips, then places an absorbent pad over it and wraps it all in gauze.
“When we get back, I’ll change that for you.”
“I’ll hope you don’t get killed then,” you offer with a grateful smile.
He doesn’t respond but gestures to you to join on the couch. You do, keeping what you feel is a safe distance between the two of you. Zemo hands you a cup of warm tea, but as you grab it, he doesn’t let go. Your undamaged fingers brush his for a long moment and he chuckles.
“Promise not to take after your friend James? I quite like this tea set.”
Your eyebrows knit together as he smiles at his own joke and finally surrenders the cup to you. That’s the last words you two exchange, and when Bucky and Sam return ready for the next part of the mission, they find the two of you sitting in silence sharing a pot of tea.
___
When the three men returned, Sam and Bucky held an unconscious Zemo between them. You jumped off the couch, the book you had been reading discarded, and let them lay Zemo down.
“What happened?”
“John Walker,” the two men answered in the same disgusted tone.
You leaned over Zemo, finally seeing the blood and bruise on his right temple.
“This one disappeared for a few minutes, shot Karli-”
“Didn’t kill her,” Sam interrupted, sounding relieved.
Much like Sam, you sympathized with Karli’s motives if not her methods. And much like Sam, you were glad she hadn’t died.
“Then Walker knocked him out with the shield,” Bucky finished.
There was no jab at Sam this time for which you were grateful.
“Which is the only useful thing he did,” Sam added. “Zemo destroyed the rest of the serum, so right now he’s above Walker in my book.”
You looked down at Zemo, blood had dripped down his face and neck, though most of it was dried now. His eyelids twitched as he slept.
“Are you two okay?” You asked as you walked toward the bathroom.
“Fine. We ditched Walker, but we’ll need to get out of here as soon as we figure out what to do with Karli,” Sam answered, collapsing on the couch with a heavy sigh.
You dampened a washcloth in the bathroom and on your way back to the living room, grabbed the first aid kit Zemo had used on you earlier.
“What are you doing? He’ll be fine,” Bucky muttered.
He was sitting next to Sam now.
“Returning a favor,” you answered as you knelt at Zemo’s side.
You dabbed at the drying blood with the cloth, wiping it off his cheek, out of his hair. Somehow the coat came out unscathed. Sam and Bucky were talking about something behind you, but you were entirely focused on the unconscious man.
Zemo had a handsome, aristocratic face, and he walked like royalty, like he was untouchable. This was evidence he wasn’t.
You moved to the actual wound next. The cloth was soft, unreasonably so. A large hand wrapped around your wrist, squeezing tightly. You inhale sharply and shift your gaze to Zemo’s hand then his eyes. When your eyes met his, he seemed to relax, releasing you and letting his hand fall at his side.
“Apologies,” he grunted, mouth twitching with pain.
“It’s alright,” you answer calmly, very aware that the other men had stopped talking and were fixated on a potential threat. “Turn your head please.”
You put a hand on his cheek and turned him to face you to get a better look at the wound that was still seeping slowly.
“The new Captain America might force me to reconsider my stance on superheroes. I would enjoy seeing Sam and James have a go at him,” Zemo said as you prod the wound.
You wiped the cut with antiseptic, and Zemo hissed a bit at that but said nothing. Then, just like he had done to you, you placed three butterfly bandages on the cut. It wasn’t deep, just long and jagged.
“You’re my new favorite,” he joked with a little grin.
You laughed and walked to the kitchen for some ice. There were no packs, so you grabbed a bag of frozen peas, wrapped them in a towel and set it gently on Zemo’s temple.
“I can’t have you dying when I need this changed tonight,” you said, holding up a finger.
When you turned around, Sam and Bucky had both stretched out on the couch. They both wore annoyed expressions that Zemo got a whole couch and they got one to share. Bucky bumped Sam’s foot with his own, much to your amusement and Sam’s annoyance. He kicked his partner back, and you decided not to interrupt their little couples spat. Instead, you move to sit on the ground.
Zemo grabbed your wrist again, this time gently. He tucked his legs up, folding them into a V, and motioned you to share his couch. And you did, sitting in the same spot you had earlier, this time near his feet still clad in shiny black leather shoes.
“Hey, you two,” Sam called. “What’s this cozy little couch situation going on here?”
“You two could have a cozy little couch situation too if you’d just talk to each other,” Zemo shot back.
He didn’t even look at Sam, just held the frozen vegetables to his face, eyes closed.
“Y/N?” Zemo asked after a moment. “Can you get me an Advil? Or better yet, some sort of alcoholic beverage?”
“I’m not your servant, Zemo,” you sighed but stood and poured him a glass of some expensive alcohol from a bottle with Sokovian writing.
He sipped it, setting it on his chest between sips as he lounged on the couch with you. Bucky was watching you out the corner of his eye, and you were watching Zemo. Every few sips he would grimace, his lips pressing together and chest catching. Then he’d relax, exhale softly and shift the peas back into place. Eventually you picked up your book and began to read again.
Sam left the room to take a phone call a few hours later and came back shaking.
“Karli threatened Sarah, my nephews. I have to meet with her. Alone.”
“I’m coming with you,” Bucky jumped in, already on his feet. “Walker will be there, and you can’t handle the Super Soldiers and Captain Propaganda on your own.”
Zemo was either asleep or doing a good job pretending beside you. The pea bag had been returned to the freezer. He’d discarded his coat and was now wearing only his black pants and a deep purple shirt with shoulder holsters.
“You got him?” Sam pointed to the sleeping man.
“That’s what I’m here for,” you answered, setting the book aside and watching them prepare to leave.
Both men donned their costumes, Sam strapping his wings on, Bucky ripping the sleeve off of yet another jacket so his metal arm could move freely.
“Call me- us if you need backup,” you shouted after them, knowing full well they would do no such thing.
“If we aren’t back in two hours, take his ass back to jail,” Bucky called back.
Baron Zemo woke up the minute the door slammed shut, which made you doubt he’d been sleeping at all.
“And now it is only us,” he said in that thick Sokovian accent. “I will cook us something for dinner.”
He moved into the kitchen, boiling a pot of water while you watched. You perched yourself on the counter near him as he searched through cabinets. When he noticed you, he paused and chuckled before returning to the cooking. You watched in silence, keeping a close eye on him when he picked up a knife and began chopping tomatoes from a can.
He handed you a bowl of thin noodles with a thick red sauce. It smelled delicious.
“A traditional and simple Sokovian dish, a comfort food you might say,” he explained and joined you on the counter. “I made enough for Sam and James. Call me an optimist.”
Zemo didn’t talk much, you realized, as you enjoyed the food in silence. It was delicious, a bit like pasta. Suddenly, the back door clicked open. You glance around nervously, realizing just how wrong this felt.
“They shouldn’t be back yet,” you say quietly. “And they wouldn’t come in the back.”
“My old associates must have found me,” Zemo jumps off the table, and you notice the same nervousness as when Bucky threw the cup. He cannot know about James or Sam.”
You can hear a single person strolling toward the kitchen in heavy boots.
“I’m going to kiss you,” Zemo whispered, and before you could even process the words, he was standing between your legs and pressing his lips to yours.
His movements are slow and careful, trying not to be invasive as he moves his hands to your back, sliding one up to the back of your head. You wrap an arm around his waist and slide the other hand up the front of his purple shirt, splaying your fingers across his chest. His lips are soft and warm as they move against yours. His hand keeps you from pulling away, not that you’d want to.
“I heard you were back in Riga,” a new voice chuckled. “I had to see for myself.”
Zemo pulls back, feigning surprise, but kept an arm protectively around you.
“And as you have undoubtedly noticed, I am quite busy,” he replied. “Perhaps you could come back tomorrow? I’d prefer not to discuss our business in front of…”
Zemo nods to you. You were staring at the man who you recognized from work files. He was a former Shield agent. When Shield fell, he used the chaos for his own advantage, working for neither Shield nor Hydra and killing anyone who stood in his way. You suspected, but couldn’t be sure, that some of your best friends had been killed by him. Fortunately, you had enough self-control not to shoot him. His mere presence made you tense and uncomfortable.
“Of course, Baron,” he grinned and look at you in a way that made you shift closer to Zemo. “I’ll see you tomorrow, noon. The usual place.”
He gave the two of you one last look and left with a wink to Zemo. Even when the other man had gone, Zemo’s hands were still holding you against him.
“We will have to be gone before noon tomorrow,” he said looking down at you.
For some reason, you were both still wrapped around each other.
“You know who he is?” Zemo said, a statement masquerading as a question. “I am sorry.”
Your face was only inches from him, and you could smell his cologne. Zemo used the hand on your head to pull you against his shoulder. You set your head there, face turned into his neck, and inhaled deeply. And there he sat and you stood, hugging tightly for no real reason except that no one else was there.
Zemo pressed a soft kiss to your head, and rather than protest you let his lips linger. Finally, his head fell on your shoulder. After a moment, he slid you off the counter, took your hand, and led you back to the couch. Without asking, the two of you settled together on the couch, so close your sides pressed against each other. He pulled a gun out of his shoulder holster, and you froze until he set it down on the table, smirking a little.
“I don’t make a habit of shooting people I’ve just kissed,” he chuckled and raised an arm for you to lean against him.
You raised an eyebrow at him, surprised at the forwardness. You shouldn’t be, after all, he had just kissed you and held you on the counter of his kitchen. Helmut Zemo made no sense to you, but in the end, you curled against him. He shifted to lay on his back, head propped on the pillows he was laying on earlier while you tucked yourself beside him, head on his chest.
Zemo wrapped an arm around you. You put a hand on his chest, fingering the purple shirt. He was warm and soft, and you had to remind yourself that you could not fall asleep while you are supposed to be watching him.
“Why are we doing this?” You whisper. “Why are you doing this?”
“Why are you?” Zemo turns his head toward you.
“I haven’t had someone to do this with in a long time,” you answer slowly, cautiously, knowing full well this was a man who could turn on you on an instant or hold onto information until the moment it was advantageous to him.
“Neither have I,” He replied. “German prisons don’t allow much physical contact. Besides, I hope that with enough time perhaps I may kiss you again.”
You tilted your head up to see a grin tugging at the side of his lips, lips that had been on yours a few minutes ago.
“Maybe with enough time,” you answer and brush a lose strand of hair out of his eyes, letting your hand trail over the bruise on his face.
He caged your hand in his, bringing your joined hands back to his chest and holding them there. You felt the rise and fall of his breaths and it soothed you. When they grew deep and steady and the tension seemed to fall from his body, you realized he was truly asleep, not faking like earlier. Soon and against your better judgment, you were dozing off in his arms tossing a leg over his so your limbs tangled together.
Your last thought before you fell asleep was how warm and comfortable you felt with Helmut Zemo, and how completely ludicrous such a thought was.
It wasn’t long before the door opening woke you, still secure in Zemo’s arms. You tried to move, sit up so Sam and Bucky wouldn’t see this little arrangement. You failed. Bucky came in first, stopping in his tracks as he saw the scene on the couch.
“What are you doing? Keep walk- what?” Sam ran right into Bucky’s back then froze.
Their eyes were wide as they stared. Zemo shifted awake beneath you, and you could imagine the smirk on his face. Bucky’s metal fist clenched, and Sam, ever the peacemaker grabbed his arm and opted for a more amicable approach.
“One of you better start talking.”
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poguegirl · 3 years
Text
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hey, don’t close your eyes
DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN SEASON 2
desc. when you are celebrating the pogues reuniting, rafe crashes the party with his gun
warnings. blood, angst, swearing
“WHOOO!”
JJ yelled as you shotgunned a beer inside the hot tub, having one hand up in the air from JJ holding it up in congratulations.
You threw the can away and yelled with your tongue out, everyone laughing amongst you. JJ hauled you up by your waist and held you there as you gripped onto his shoulders for more support. They all whooped and cheered.
The pogues were back baby.
In the next minute you were smoking a blunt Kie passed to you. Taking a hit as Pope rapped about school, “They say I come in the party and cause commotion, I’m smooth yeah, call me lotion.”
Everyone bursted into laughing fits as you clutched onto JJ’s arm and fell forwards giggling your ass off. He laughed alongside you and held you beside him as he bent his head down and kissed your shoulder blade. Him seeing you giddy and happy was always a gift to JJ.
You two had been dating for months now and they were the greatest months you could ask for. Even if you broke John B’s rule.
Time passed by before JJ and Pope were throwing punches at their shoulders sarcastically, each time they did you let out a small laugh.
“Go Pope!!” Kie cheered from beside you.
“Yeah JJ!” You grinned and held your arms up clapping.
JJ looked over to you and smiled with a wink, looking down and biting is lip before continuing his shenanigans. In seconds they were on the ground and wrestling. You whooped and hollered for JJ to win, but he lost to Pope.
“New technique!” John B laughed.
Pope nodded his head and grinned, standing he held his hand out for JJ to stand and waved goodbye as he headed off the beach. Shortly after, Kie stood and left to go and find him.
“Really?” Says Sarah as she subconsciously braids your hair.
“Oh yeah.”
“Way to be discreet!” Shouted JJ as they disappeared.
“I leave and this happens?” Asks John B as he looks between you and JJ accusingly. You smile and laugh as you look to JJ shrugging your shoulders and looking away jokingly.
“Are you blaming me?” JJ held his heart sarcastically.
“A little bit… oh, it’s beer time.” With that John B stood and left to get himself a drink.
Sarah and JJ continued to jokingly argue about pogue and pogue macking, disregarding you and JJ’s relationship. Soon after JJ stood and spoke with John B.
You looked down to your hands as Sarah hummed to herself before speaking, “Did you know me and John B got married?” You paused and turned to look up and her as she bit down her lip and grinned. “No fucking way.” Sarah nodded, “I mean not legally but…. yknow.” You smiled and sat back down, “That’s awesome Sarah, seriously.”
She laughed and said a thank you. The two deserved to be happy, they had both gone through so much together.
JJ and John B walk over again, the both of them wiping her eyes as if they had an emotional moment. You looked away and were about to make conversation before John B butt in, “Did you hear that?”
“What? Your chicken?” JJ thought out loud.
“I heard a car door.” He noted
JJ starts to cluck like a chicken and flap his arms as John B reaches over to cover his mouth with his hand to shut him up.
You sit up and look to the sound squeezing your eyes to look clearer, instantly you heard talking and stood. Shushing everyone you pointed to the tree as John B helped Sarah up. You started to climb right after her, JJ under you for support as you gained your footing.
“Go go go go” You ushered under your breath as you urged the boys to hurry, taking a seat on a branch quietly as you held onto the trunk. Shortly JJ emerged and took a seat on the branch in front of you.
Seconds later Rafe and Barry came, whispering words to each other as they crouched and held guns in their hands completely unaware that they were in the tree.
Your eyes welled up and you placed a hand over your mouth to stifle any sounds that crept up.
Barry stood and kicked the door open, holding his pistol up at gun point as he scanned the area for us. It was clear their objective was to kill us. Rafe stood by the bonfire, looking around. “Where the hell are you.” He yelled out.
Rafe paced around the fire mindlessly, picking his hands up and putting them on his neck.
JJ reached back and grabbed your knee, rubbing it to soothe your nerves in any way. Your gripped his hand tightly as your body shook.
Glass breaking made you jump as Barry stormed out of the house. “Anything?” Rafe asked, “No, there ain’t shit in there bro.” Barry answered angrily, “No? Nothing?” He yelled questionably, “No, nothing, Rafe.”
“They we’re obviously just here because of the smoke.” Noted Rafe. “Yeah, yeah, yeah great observation boy scout.” Barry taunted, “Well they’re not far yknow? They gotta be around here somewhere.”
It got quiet for a bit, tightening your hold on JJ’s hand before Rafe spoke again, “‘P4L’” He snorted and shook his head looking down, “Well shit.” He added “So your sister’s a pogue for life, huh, Rafe? Now who would’ve thought?” Barry taunted Rafe as he walked closer.
Rafe nodded his head rapidly as he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, “Shit!” Rafe yelled, “All right chill—“ Barry spoke.
You hear a gun shift off the safety and multiple gun shots ring through your ears as you feel a new hard pressure in your stomach. You could feel your heart beating in your ears, your breaths were uneven and short as time slowed.
“Chill! Chill chill chill your ass out, you’re gonna get us busted, dawg!” Barry’s shouts were hard to hear as all you could hear was your heart beating madly in your ears as time around you slowed.
“Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go…” Their voices faded as you blinked, looking down at your stomach. Your hand was clutching your body instinctively, slowly you forced your hand away and saw blood begin to bleed into your clothes.
You sucked in a deep breath as you swayed in your seat on the branch. “Y/n…… Y/n…… Hey! Hey, are you listening?” JJ’s voice would cut in as you looked up and found his eyes, instantly he caught on to your pale skin and ghostly eyes.
“Woah woah, hey, Y/n!” He grabbed your arm to stop you from falling backwards, “Let’s get down, cmon.” He eased you down as you never took your hand off from your stomach. He hopped down beside you and looked down to you.
“JJ..” Your voice croaked as your hand gripped as his shirt, your bloodied hands dirtying his clothes. “It hurts…” You muttered as you removed your hand from your side, the blood was much worse. It had expanded all around your shirt and blood was gushing from the it. Slowly you fall forwards as you felt your legs give out from under you.
JJ caught you and started to freak out himself, laying you on the ground as he shouted your name. John B and Sarah running over as they realized what was going on, quickly John B applied pressure to the wound as JJ gripped your face. “Stay with me!!” Yelled JJ as he began to cry. “Call an ambulance!” John B screamed to Sarah.
You’re sight was dizzy and beginning to darken. You found yourself looking at JJ, reaching your bloodied hand towards his face as you shakily wiped his tears as he continued to shout at you to stay awake.
“Please…. Fuck! Y/n stay with me!” He cried and gripped your cheeks tighter.
“I cant live anymore…. without you I have nothing!” JJ confessed through his never ending tears as John B remained silent, his own tears slipping from his eyes.
You managed a small smile and let tears fall down your cheeks. “I love you..” You coughed out blood as some remained on your lips, “P4L.” Whispering those words as your strength in your arm gave out and the hand on his cheek started to slip before he grabbed it and held it tightly, bringing it back to his cheek.
“No.. Y/n, look at me. Hey, don’t close your eyes, please.” He said quickly as your eyelids began to close. He shook your head in an attempt but they remained closed.
“…No… Fuck!” He sobbed out as he laid his head on your chest, his tears leaving stains.
The world around you stopped, your hearing stopped, your senses stopped, all there was left was nothing.
452 notes · View notes
under-sedationnn · 3 years
Text
the arcana: main six reacting to injured! reader
anonymous: Could u do m6 reacting to mc coming home injured? I want some hurt/comfort >:))
Warnings: talk of being injured, blood. if that bothers you or tiggers you in anyway, please scroll away! i want this to be a safe place, only :)
thanks for the request anon!! i hope you enjoy!! <3 requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!
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- tries his very very best to stay calm
- you can see panic bubbling under the surface
- faust is on high alert
- slithers around your shoulders and squeezes you for a hug
- "friend! hurt!"
- doesn't immediately ask what happened, just gets you to a comfortable place to be cleaned up
- then, and only then, will he brave to ask what happened to you
- or who did this to you
- wipes the blood from your skin with very gentle swipes
- winces when you wince, and apologizes profoundly
- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."
- "i fell in the market, tripped over a stone"
- "and nobody helped you?"
- in this case he's disappointed with the bystanders, but does not become angry
- in a situation where someone hurt you?
- oh god
- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."
- "yeah, well, somebody had their eye on the same apple i picked up. somehow, though, they managed to push me to the ground and steal it from my hands."
- i don't even think he would know what to say
- and asra is not really the type to march out into the streets of vesuvia and seek to challenge the one who hurt you
- but he would certainly hold a grudge against whoever it was if he did find out
- and would feel absolutely awful about letting you get hurt
- his mind would race about the possibility of losing you again
- because he simply can't handle it
- and what if that person had been particularly violent or malicious? what if you had been taken??
- you'd have to comfort the hell out of him to make sure he knows that you're okay
- "asra, hey, i'm fine! i can handle myself, you know that"
- "you're right, and i know you're right. it's just hard"
- "it's still hard for me, too. the market still makes me a little nervous and i got caught a little off guard, is all"
- that would make him feel better
- would finish patching up your wounds and would make sure to bring you to julian the next day if they were too bad for him to fix or needed stitches
- would also create a special brew to help with the pain and ease you to sleep
- "why don't i go down to the market tomorrow?"
- "why? so when you pick a fight over apples, i can pay you back for all of this high quality medical treatment?"
- "well of course, surely you didn't expect all this tender love and care to be free" *wink*
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- panicked doctor mode enabled
- immediately begins checking you over, asking questions
- something tells me it would be a head injury of some sort
- "oh darling, what happe- you're bleeding!"
- "julian, i'm okay! it's just a little scratch"
- "no no no you might need stitches, come sit down. i'll go get my kit!"
- there's really no use in arguing
- he has cold ass hands, so he tries to warm them up before he begins suturing the wound
- tries to be gentle, and his expert hands move quickly without any snagging
- "so, how did this happen?"
- his voice is literally trembling
- "well, i was in the clinic grabbing the list of ingredients we need for our next grocery trip and there was a puddle of... something on the floor. i slipped and hit my head on the corner of your desk"
- immediately thinks it's his fault
- like "oh shit i should have cleaned better that could have killed y/n and then what would i have done-"
- doesn't necessarily voice this, but you can tell by the silence that follows that he's feeling really guilty
- would kneel for you, head on your knees
- "y/n, i am so sorry"
- "juli, it's really okay, i should have watched where i was going"
- "i'll make sure to clean better from now on, okay?"
- would guard you throughout the night in case of concussion
- nurse juli <3
- but let's say someone had put their hands on you
- would patch you up the same way, and apologize profusely for not being there with you
- tuck you into bed and fetch mazelinka to keep an eye on you throughout the night incase of a concussion
- would most definitely be self destructive and seek that mf out
- maybe not successfully, but would try his hardest
- "i'll be back in the morning, get some rest"
- "I can find them myself if I want to, you know"
- embarrassed blush
- because he KNOWS you can take care of yourself
- "of course, but right now you're hurt. as your partner, i will do what must be done on your behalf darling"
- probably shows up the following morning with battle scars of his own
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- the guards found you in the garden, passed out in the maze
- blood trickled down your arm, a large gash marking your bicep
- ran you up to the palace and immediately to the medical wing
- them]n nadia gets word
- the calm, collected queen act disappears
- abandons anything she's doing, anybody she's talking to
- "we will finish this at a different time, i have more important matters to attend to"
- she is so worried and it's honestly adorable
- very much giving "where tf are they?" energy
- god i love her so much
- anyways um
- asks the nurses over and over what happened, if you're okay, etc.
- watches the physicians and nurses like a hawk as they clean the wound and suture the cut
- and they're so intimidated lmao they never come face to face with her literally ever
- brushes your hair back from your face as they do so
- holds your hands
- would demand that you be brought to her sleeping chamber
- so that's where you wake up! how cute
- she's laying beside you, her brows furrowed
- maybe even her eyes are a little hazy
- "y/n, sweetheart, do you remember what happened?"
- patiently waits for your answer, you're still a little groggy
- you were either attacked by an animal and passed out from the fright
- or you were attacked by an armed person and was knocked out
- either way, the guards are on it
- nadia isn't letting whoever or whatever did this get away without a fight
- the palace is meant to be a safe haven for you
- for the both of you
- "well, don't you worry, we'll take care of that"
- you try to sit up but she won't let you
- "oh no, you must stay down, y/n. you are possibly concussed from the fall"
- "oh okay, sorry"
- "is there anything i can get you?"
- the countess of vesuvia, serving you in your time of need
- "just some water would be nice"
- "of course, i'll have some brought up right away"
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- i literally feel like he would just start crying straight up
- cause like he has some problems anyway
- he big sad boi
- and you coming home to the hut bleeding from a gash in the arch of your foot is not helping
- picks you and carries you to the bed without a word
- just starts examining the cut
- inanna is also very concerned
- she licks the blood from the cut, she's trying to be helpful
- meanwhile muriel is stumbling around the hut looking for anything to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, bandage it, anything
- but he's not the best about keeping that stuff in stock
- keeps looking back at you with worry in his eyes
- he doesn't know what to do
- "muriel, let me see if i can contact asra. maybe he or julian can bring me a salve. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need stitches"
- low-key makes him feel worse
- cause he feels like he's unable to care for you and keep your safe
- even tho this was just an accident
- he's breathing really fast, his anxiety creeping
- agrees anyway, but goes to get them himself
- "i'll be back soon, just keep this piece of cloth pressed against it"
- cause you're bleeding like a lot
- inanna stays behind
- he returns very quickly with julian in tow, though he doesn't look happy about it
- leaves the hut without another word
- julian gets to work immediately
- "so, you cut your foot i see"
- smartass.
- "yeah, muriel always tells me to put on shoes when i walk in the woods but i love to feel the grass beneath my feet"
- julian chuckled at this
- "and i'm assuming you, what, stepped on a rock?"
- "...yeah, sliced it right open"
- after julian is done cleaning up the cut, he tells you to just stay off of it for a while and make sure it doesn't get infected
- once he's gone, muriel trudges back into the hut
- "muriel, baby, it was just a cut it's not a big deal"
- but his eyes look hurt, and you beckon him toward the bed
- "hey," your hands on his cheeks, "i'm okay, really"
- "sorry, i just got scared. blood is still a trigger for me and since you got hurt in my woods, i felt like it was my fault"
- "muriel, of course it wasn't your fault"
- he really needed a hug
- after this instance, he made sure to keep medical supplies in the hut and you promised to try and wear shoes in the woods more often than not
- "i'll try my best to be more careful. deal?"
- sweet lil smile
- "deal."
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- "oh my god, y/n, what the hell happened??"
- you were tending the garden
- without her supervision
- and the garden sheers might have sliced into the palm of your hand
- deep
- brings you over to the sink and runs water over the cut, covering it with a towel when the dripping blood had been washed away
- girl is on the move
- cause she knows what to do! love that
- low-key a main reason why julian managed to live as long as he has
- pepi is curiously perched atop one of the counters, peering down
- finds her personal first aid kit she had stashed in the bathroom
- guides you over to sit on the counter while she tries to figure out what to do
- "damn, you really cut yourself, y/n"
- "sorry! i think i just got a little carried away"
- she giggles at that, though she is still worried about the fact that it won't stop bleeding
- gently wraps the cut in gauze and adheres it together
- places a kiss to your fingertips
- "all done! no more gardening for you!"
- "hey, why not?"
- "well you don't want that cut to open back up again and again, do you?"
- "no"
- "alright then," she smiled, moving to put away the first aid kit again, "and we're going up to the palace medical wing first thing tomorrow morning to make sure it's not infected"
- eye roll
- "yes ma'am" you mocked
- even though you know it's just because she loves you
- "but since you got hurt, you want me to bake you some cookies?"
- "only if you let me eat the dough!"
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- good god do i love this man
- but he is so self-absorbed it's actually insane
- and I feel like he wouldn't even notice at first
- cause he's too focused on himself
- gazing into the mirror without a care in the world when you walked in
- "y/n, thank goodness you're home, how do you feel about these pants?"
- you just hobbled to the nearest seat, hand resting over the gash on your knee
- mercedes and melchior were lazing across a rug at the base of his mirror, their attention set on you
- "u-um, yeah, they look good"
- literally just trying not to bleed out, over here
- "good? oh really, now, y/n don't they look amazing?"
- "yes, they look ama- ow, damnit"
- then he turned around
- immediate shock and worry! oh no oh no y/n is hurt!
- mercedes and melchior walked over first, whining as they took in the cut, brushing around the edges
- lucio raced over, squatting down in front of you, and began examining the cut
- "hey, hey, what happened?"
- "i accidentally tripped on my walk in the garden and scraped my knee on the cobblestone"
- he was lightly touching around the cut, gauging how sensitive it was
- when you flinched he stopped, looking into your eyes with a soft "sorry"
- "i think i need to go to the palace infirmary"
- "oh there's no need, i can take care of you!"
- you were not convinced he could take care of you, at least not well
- "uh, lucio, are you sure?"
- he looked slightly offended, at that
- "you know, y/n, i did fight in battles at one point. i have not only tended to my own wounds, but the wounds of others, as well"
- you giggled at the thought
- "much to your protest, though, i'm sure"
- he moved to the small cabinet of medical supplies in the ensuite to your bedroom, returning to your side with it in hand
- "at points, but i don't mind helping you in the slightest"
- for all of his antics, his soft side was enough to make you fall in love all over again
- and although i know he would take care of you in literally any situation, i can't say for certainty that he would stick around and place nurse lucio for long if a person had hurt you
- attacked you
- much like nadia, the guards would be sent out without a second thought, lucio leading the pack in the search for you aggressor
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xtodorcki · 3 years
Note
Suggestion coming!! 🙈 If you are not comfortable with writing this it's completely fine! ❤ I was thinking maybe something fluff that turns smutty in the end with Levi.. Maybe Levi comes back from an expedition and goes to his cabin in the woods( extra points if it's snowing ❄). There he saw his soul mate crying because she thought Levi was dead because of some false information. He comforts her.. And eventually shows her how much she means to him.. 😊
This is actually my first suggestion so sorry for any inconvenience! 🖤
“Wrongful Death,” Levi x Reader
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Summary: You heard rumors of Levi and his entire squad being dead from their expedition but when he comes home to you upset, he comforts you.
Warnings: angst to fluff then smut
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The long week with Levi being gone was already a lot for you to handle. You always hated when he went out on long expeditions because there was no way to communicate or to know if he’s alright or that he’ll be coming back safely.
Even though you always had full confidence in him and knew just how good he was at being a Scout, you still couldn’t help but worry or have doubts lingering inside of your head as you lay in bed alone.
One day in particular you had gone out in the town just to grab a few things you needed, including some food to make something special for him when he returns which should be relatively soon, he never stayed out longer than a week.
It was starting to slowly snow as you walked about, the cold air becoming thicker as the clouds roll in and sprinkle down the white substance onto the ground, making it stick. You had made a mental note to hurry up with the shopping before it got too cold to handle.
But as you looked down at the vegetables, picking out the best suited ones, you had heard the MPs whispering about near you and once Levi’s name was brought into it, you had stopped what you were doing to listen in on their conversation.
“I heard this expedition was one of the worst ones.” One of them said, making you slowly start to worry at where the conversation was going.
“Yea, I heard Levi’s squad all got wiped clean- no survivors.” In seconds your heart had dropped all the way down to the pit of your stomach, the instant panic that came straight to your head.
You had stopped what you were doing, completely ignoring what you were getting and started to turn back to walk home. You started to feel light headed the faster you had tried to get back to your place, not wanting to fully give into your emotions out on the streets.
The wind started to pick up on your way back, making you tug the big coat around you tighter as you tried to walk faster towards the small cabin you two had shared.
You didn’t want to fully believe what the MPs were saying but you had a gut feeling that they would know what happened out on expeditions before anyone here and that had made you believe that maybe Levi was dead, maybe this expedition was too difficult for him.
As your shaky hand unlocked the front door with the key and opened it up to the empty cabin, your heart started to shatter more, your breathing becoming heavier as you sat on the couch and started to let your emotions overpower you, making soft sobs leave your lips at the thought of him being dead.
His voice kept repeating in your head about him promising you he’ll be back home. The constant reminders he would give you when you both laid in bed before he had to go, always telling you how much he loved you and how he’ll always come back home, it only made things harder to wrap your head around.
You didn’t have anyone else, you didn’t have family, you only had Levi and now that you were fully alone, or so you thought, it broke you apart bit by bit. As you stood up after crying on the couch for a few minutes, you had decided to turn on the fireplace and take your coat off.
All you did was grab a blanket, some hot chocolate and sat back on the couch to cry out your emotions, your face flushed and full of your own tears as you stared out at the wall, almost emotionless.
All while Levi rode his horse back into the walls and towards the base to drop his things off and head back home to you. He was drained from the long week and he was glad it was finally over so he’ll have a relaxing weekend with you.
The snow now became thicker and covered up every inch of the ground, seeing his breath as he grabbed his things and made his way towards the cabin as the sun started to set as it hid behind the clouds.
He didn’t realize how fast he was walking back, he was impatient and he was dying to see your face. He didn’t want to think about the long week he had endured and he didn’t want to think about what had went down including the lives they sadly lost.
He quickly walked up the steps, opening up the door and stomping his boots on the ground to knock off the snow before fully stepping inside the warm cabin. His eyes instantly landed on you on the couch as you turned to see who opened your door, almost startling you.
When he saw your flushed cheeks and your red tear filled eyes, he became worried and shrugged off his coat before making his way over to you. You were completely stunned because you’ve been sitting here crying, thinking he was dead and now he was standing inside the cabin, his worried eyes meeting yours.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked but you quickly wrapped your arms around him and embraced him in a tight hug, more tears spilling out.
“They said you were dead, Levi. I thought you were dead.” You mumbled quietly, feeling completely dumb for believing the rumors you heard.
“Who did?” He was confused, pulling you back to look down at your red eyes.
“The MPs, they said no survivors.”
“And you believed those lazy idiots?” He scoffed, cupping your cheeks and wiping the remaining tears off your face.
“Yeah, sounds stupid now that I think about it.” He cracked a smile, continuing to swipe his thumbs across your cheeks to get rid of the tears that slipped.
“You know I’ll never leave you, right?” He said softly, sighing under his breath at the mess those MPs caused for letting a silly rumor slip.
He was angry but he couldn’t show it, he knew that it wasn’t worth the trouble arguing with those idiots and considering you’re sitting here upset and have been for a few hours, he knew that you needed someone just for a little bit, you needed that comfort to reassure you that everything is okay.
So he sat there on the couch, holding onto you as your head laid there against his chest, hearing his heartbeat thump repeatedly, reminding you that he was here and alive, it wasn’t your imagination.
You could still feel the sadness weighing down on your heart, the sighs leaving your lips so casually as you continued to imagine Levi getting killed on a mission. You couldn’t stop the anxiety that replayed in your mind, it was torture and he soon caught on to your dozed off state.
“You know you mean the world to me, Y/N.” He mumbled, giving you small words of reassurance to comfort you some more.
“I’ll never leave you behind, even if I was out there bleeding out- I would still crawl back home to you.” It wasn’t the best choice of words but you understood what he was trying to say.
“I know, I just get worried.. you’re all I have left.” It was a scary feeling to always worry about him and whether or not you’ll be attending a funeral because he didn’t make it out alive, especially a funeral without his body to bury- it killed you slowly.
“I love you.” He said quietly, his vulnerability leaking out of him to show you just how much he cared about your feelings. H wanted you to know just how much you meant to him.
He decided to get off the couch after kissing the top of your head. He knew that what he went through the last week didn’t matter, not when you were in a state like this. You were first above all, his first priority and he wanted to make sure you were happy and healthy before anything else.
So, he had decided to make some tea and take you to bed where he piled as many blankets as he possibly could to get you warmed up considering it was snowing down pretty hard outside and it was becoming increasingly chilly.
He set your cup of tea on the side table beside you, his lips landing on top of yours for a quick moment, something he’s been thinking about since he left on the expedition. All he thought about on that mission was your warm lips that fit perfectly with his and the way your fingers would always comb through his hair when you both were laid up intertwined with each other.
This all made him happy, the small butterflies exploding inside of his stomach as he slipped under the covers and embraced you in his arms, making you feel safe and more than happy to see his face again. You shivered slightly, your fingers slipping up and tangling in his hair before the both of you started to kiss which got heated pretty quickly from how much you both had missed each other.
It didn’t take long for his body to be hovered over yours and his lips molded with your own to make your skin feel hot underneath all the blankets that had surrounded your bodies.
“Let me show you how much you really mean to me.”
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Oh lord here’s another sad post about me being back but at least I posted a writing while I was at it :p
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Right Where You Left Me
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Summary: Y/N never expected to see him again. He tore her heart out and left her in the dusty heat of a Las Vegas diner. She never wanted to see him again, but sometimes the heart wants what heart wants.
Word Count: 3.7k
Author's Note: This is the first prompt that I wrote for 400 followers and it is based on Right Where You Left Me. Some background info: Spencer and Reader (Female pronouns) were lovers when they were 23, Spencer left to join the FBI and Y/N never recovered.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Content Warning: Angst till the very end, one use of f--k, reader cuts her hand on glass so blood is mentioned.
Right Where You Left Me
2009, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada
The bell above the door always sounds the same, no matter who walks into the little diner. Whether it’s exhausted truckers looking for a cheap cup of coffee or lonely souls looking to be a little less lonely for even an hour, the bell’s chime is always the same.
From the first time she met Spencer Reid, Y/N knew that boy was destined for greatness. His greatness is exceptionally painful when it juxtaposes her intense ordinariness. Part of her always dreams of the bell ringing and telling her that he’s back. He’s back and would no longer just haunting her dreams. But he isn’t back. He isn’t back and she’s right where he left her.
Y/N wipes the counter with a worn napkin, noticing how her skin is cracked from her fingertips to the butt of her palms. The bell rings and Y/N picks up her head. An elderly couple walks in holding hands. It’s amazing to her, to be that old and that in love. She wonders what it would be like to have the kind of love that you’ll never run out of things to say. If her past has taught her anything, Y/N tells herself she’s not the kind of girl that gets a lifelong romance. She’s not the kind of girl that gets someone who gets her.
She’s the kind of girl that’s frozen in the place right where he left her.
September 2012, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada
“One of these is not like the other,” Sabrina says in a singsong kind of voice. She walks out from behind the counter, finished with her shift. She wishes Y/N good night before she leaves the diner, telling her to lock up and handle the clean up. The busboy makes his way to the table of men with two kinds of coffee, decaf and regular, in her hands. Y/N follows, rolling her eyes, behind with three coffee mugs.
Apparently, there is a missing child case and the FBI has gotten involved. The two men, dressed intimidatingly in black suits and gray ties, looked very different from the younger man who sat across from them. It only took her a second to recognize that face. It’s the face of all her dreams that at one point was just out of reach. But now it’s just the face of rejection and hurt.
Before she even realizes it, the coffee mug that Y/N holds in her hand drops and shatters on the floor. The men, even vigilant, turn towards the noise. Y/N wanting to disappear into the night, drops to the floor to clean up the glass. She hears a shuffle from the booth and in comes a pair of well-worn converse into her field of vision.
“Here,” he says, his voice just soft and steady as ever, “let me, Y/N,”
Y/N drops the glass like it burns her. But in reality, she’s trying to get as far away as possible from Spencer, because she knows if she touches him again, she’ll never be able to survive letting go.
Spencer.
Spencer Reid crouches down before her just inches from her face all these years later. It seems unbelievable to see him in the flesh, but it’s him, even if he looks a little older and a little sadder.
“Thank you. I’m going to get you a new cup. I remember how much you love coffee,” Y/N whispers, wishing again that she could turn into the wind and disappear.
Y/N tries to ignore the way Spencer’s co-workers eye him when he returns to the seat. Clutching the pieces of glass, Y/N cuts her thumb. The dark red blood rushes out and she can feel her pulse rise. She wraps a white cloth over the cut. By the time she gets to Spencer’s table, the blood has pooled to the surface. She places the cups on the table, turning to leave, but a strong, yet gentle hand grasps her elbow.
“You’re bleeding?” Spencer says, his voice ends on a high note like he’s asking her more than telling her.
“Yeah, it’s fine Spencer. I’ll take care of it later, it’s just-”
“Let me help you,” he says, the two men, his co-workers, share a thoughtful glance. Y/N has the sneaking suspicion that they can read her mind or very much close to it.
She narrows her eyes at Spencer as her thumb pulsates and the blood soaked napkin grows even more red.
“Last time I checked you’re not a real doctor,” Y/N says, the venom in her voice all too apparent. The man sitting across from Spencer with the kinder eyes puts his hands up in defeat.
“What the hell is going on here? Do you know her or something, Spencer?” he says, his confusion about who Y/N is growing into frustration by the second. The man sitting next to the man with the kind eyes doesn’t say much. Y/N expects that he’s soaking in the entire interaction or is too tired to care about his co-worker’s personal drama.
“Huh, you didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell you FBI friends about me, Spencer? Huh, can I say that I’m not surprised by that at all,” Y/N responds, fumbling with managing to pour the coffee and covering her cut with the napkin.
“Please, Y/N you’re being ridiculous, let me help you,” Spencer asks or rather, begs Y/N. Y/N tries to not let him know how much it affects her when he rubs his thumb on the crook of her elbow.
“Fine, make it quick Spencer, I’m closing up tonight and I want to get home soon,” Y/N says, walking away from the table before Spencer can even get the chance to get up from the booth.
Y/N is too far past the booth to hear Spencer whisper to his co-workers that he’ll find his own way back to the hotel. She runs her thumb under the running water, watching as the blood clears up, revealing her clean finger. Y/N can feel Spencer’s looming presence behind her. She can smell his cologne and thinks if he cans any closer she’d be able to feel his body heat.
“You’re not supposed to be back here, Spencer,” Y/N says, she knows she’s being short and clippy with Spencer, but she supposes that should be expected, considering how he left her all those years ago.
“That never stopped me, or you for that matter before,” Spencer says, taking a step forward. His hand comes up to gently hold Y/N’s. She can feel his fingertips on her skin for the first time in years. Y/N has to close her eyes to focus on anything but how close Spencer’s body is to her’s. It’s restraint in it’s finest.
“Things have changed, Spencer. People have changed,” Y/N says, she doesn’t make a move that tells Spencer she doesn’t like him touching her. Spencer, whose hands have a slight tremor as they hold Y/N’s, practices an equal amount of restraint as Y/N does. He has to stop the thoughts of what it would be like to feel his hand against her hand again or how she’d sound if he could muster up the courage to kiss her again. He can’t even think of the first place he’d want to kiss her if he had the chance again.
“I’ve changed, Y/N, I’ve changed,” Spencer says, knowing fully that he’s pleading with the girl whose heart he broke 7 years ago.
“I have a hard time believing that one, Spencer. You were always the exception to the rule, whether you liked it or not,” she tells him. Her voice has lost all venom. It’s bare to the world without any weapons to wield.
“Let me fix you up and I’ll be out of your life again,” He says, still holding on to her wrist, still holding on to hope.
Y/N nods and tells him where he can find the first aid kit. She watches as he reaches up to the top shelf and carefully places the kit on the counter. Y/N holds out her hand as Spencer takes an alcohol wipe to her wound. He grimaces more than she does, afraid that somehow, all these years later, he’s still causing her pain. What he doesn’t know is that his touch stings more than the strongest rubbing alcohol in existence.
“So,” Spencer starts, hating that there’s silence between the two of them, when a decade ago that would have been impossible, “how’ve you been?”
“I’m good, Spence, I’ve been good. All I ever wanted was a quiet life, and I guess that’s what I got,” Y/N says, Spencer knows her answer is cordial. It's an answer that you give when you really don’t want to give an answer.
“That’s good, Y/N. I’m happy for you,” Spencer says, he doesn’t realize that he’s been rubbing his thumb against Y/N palm until she reaches into the first aid kit and tosses a band-aid at him. Spencer blushes slightly, but thinks that he’s not offending her too much since he’s still at the diner.
“What about you, Spence? Did you ever find uh….someone that could…” Y/N says, her voice trailing off, too afraid to finish the sentence herself, but aware that Spencer is probably the only person on Earth that could fill in the blanks. He was always good like that, he could always fill in her blanks and make sense of her senseless.
“Find someone, like a wife?” Spencer asks, the blush returning to his cheeks, “no, Y/N I’m not married. Are..are you? Do you have, um, a husband?” Spencer asks, hating the way that he stumbles over the word “husband” like it’s a dirty word. Though he supposes that it is a dirty word when Y/N’s husband is not synonymous with Spencer Reid.
“God no, Spence. I couldn’t not after, you know,” Y/N says, again letting Spencer fill in the blanks and hoping beyond belief that he’d pick up the pieces too. Spencer looks over at where his co-workers sat when they were working, he can't say he’s disappointed to see that they are gone.
“I never really apologized for what I said to you, Y/N. I know that I’ll never make it up to you, but..”
“It’s okay, Spencer. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, I’m just a waitress. And you, god. You are you. How could I ever think that I’d get a happily ever after with someone like you,” Y/N says, brushing past Spencer to collect the coffee mugs from the table.
“Please Y/N don’t believe that for a second,” Spencer says, his voice full of pain and regret.
Y/N thinks about the times that she would dream of seeing him again. She can’t remember if she’d rather him to be sorry or if she'd rather him rush back to her and sweep her off her feet again with a love confession that rivals the greatest stories ever told. But then again, waitresses don’t get knights in shining armor. Especially when those knights wear sweater vests, despite being in law enforcement. Spencer always loved facts, and he told it to her in a few more words than necessary, people like Spencer Reid don’t end up with people like Y/N Y/LN.
“You still think too highly of me, even after I hurt you, I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you,” Spencer says, hanging his head low. His hair, that’s grown much longer, falls into place over his eyes, as if it’s shielding Spencer from Y/N.
“Did you come here tonight thinking I’d be here? Did a part of you still want to see me?” Y/N asks, she wants to reach out and touch Spencer’s hand, she wants to reach out and feel that his hand is still the same hand that would caress her face and make all her worries vanish. But it’s hard when that hand is attached to the man who destroyed you.
“I didn’t think you’d still work here, Y/N. You always hated living in the desert. Remember how we talked of getting a place somewhere cold where you can see the snow, but still be warm-”
“And safe inside? Yeah, Spencer, I remember that. But that was our dream, how can I still want that when it’s tainted by you,” Y/N spits, walking towards the last booth in the row. She plops down, sinking into the plastic covered cushion. Spencer, nervously, sits down next to her. He doesn’t say anything, knowing how Y/N’s bated breath and tapping foot tell him she’s going to unleash 7 years of pent of hatred and frustration. And somehow, 7 years of desire and want and love.
“I lied Spencer,” Y/N says, looking down at the table. “I lied. I hate it here, you’re right. God, why are you always right?” She smiles wickedly and Spencer has to tell himself to not give way to his emotions. He needs to let Y/N finally release her justified anger onto him.
“You moved on, Spencer. You moved on and I’m right where you left me,” Y/N’s strained voice is perhaps noise that Spencer knows will haunt his nightmares, “It’s like I’m a ghost of that girl I was when I was 23, waiting for someone who’s moved on. Waiting for you, but god, no one wants to love someone so fucking pathetic,”
Spencer wants to react, he wants to reach out a kiss away Y/N tears that fall down her cheeks. He wants to make her pain go away, but how can he when he’s her pain. Spencer knew he never wanted to end up like his father, yet sitting in that corner booth watching Y/N cry, Spencer realizes he’s his father’s son. Spencer realizes that he ran away from the best thing that ever happened to him, when thought he got a better opportunity.
“I never moved on Y/N,” Spencer says, reaching down inside himself for the courage to tenderly hold Y/N’s hands in his own. Even all these years later, her hand still feels the same inside his.
“I’ve thought about you every single day of my life. It’s a curse, Y/N, not being able to forget how much I hurt you. As much as I try, I’ll never be able to erase the look on your face when I told you--”
“When you told me I wasn’t good enough,” Y/N finished for him. It looks like she can fill in his blanks as well as he can fill in her’s.
“I didn’t mean it, Y/N. I didn’t mean it and I know that you’ll never look at me the same way, but I’ve never stopped loving you, Y/N. I’ll never stop loving you,” Spencer says, he’s sobbing at this point. The tears trail down his face and his skin in blotchy red.
“Spencer,” Y/N says quietly, like she’s trying to control the mix of passion and fury that threatens to take control of her, “I need to get this out without interruptions, so just please listen to me,”
Spencer nods and tries his best to not react when Y/N reaches down to his lap and takes her hands into his. He tries to hold in the emotions that split seems in his not-so tough exterior.
“I created a fantasy for you Spencer. I gave you the life that I could never give you. In my head you had kids because I needed you to be deliriously happy. I gave you a wife and I hated her because I love you too much to hate you. I needed you to have the life that I couldn’t give you, because it beats thinking you’re a mess. It beats thinking you ended up like me,” Y/N professes.
Spencer brings his hands up to her cheeks wiping away the tears that fall rapidly. Even the time he was kidnapped, the countless of times he was beaten or held hostage, his heart never ached quite like this. His heart never yearned to soothe someone’s pain as it did when Spencer watched Y/N come to terms with the years and years of heartbreak Spencer left her in.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Spencer says, his fingers lacing through Y/N’s pinned up hair, “I hated myself for years for doing what I did to you. I knew that there was no one else, there’s no one else for me, Y/N,”
Y/N’s cheek presses up against Spencer’s chest, his warm body is home and is spicy, yet sweet cologne the closest thing to paradise. She tries to get control over her breathing, trying to steady it and not slobber too much over Spencer’s soft shirt. His hands anchor her to him. They latch on to her elbows, begging her silently to not shove him off and kick him to the curb, even though it’s what he deserves.
“Oh god Spencer. You really still are my Spencer, aren’t you?” Y/N asks, her voice slightly muffled by Spencer’s chest. She can hear his heart beat, even now, it’s still in sync with her heart beat. After all these years, between all these miles, throughout all this pain, Y/N’s heart still beats for Spencer’s.
“I don’t wanna lose you again, Y/N,” Spencer says, the tears back on his face, some have dried slightly and new ones make their way down and pool onto the back of Y/N’s head. Spencer brushes his fingers against Y/N, making sure that he’s actually holding her in his arms in this little diner he thought he’d left in the past.
“Please don’t hurt me again, Spencer. I love you too much to lose you again, but I can’t get hurt like that. I can’t bear to do that again,” Y/N says, raising her head to look at Spencer in the eyes.
She can see the glistening tears that fall down his face and the way his gaze softens when his eyes latch on to her. They could spend hours drinking each other in, making up for the lost years. She searches his face, finding new age lines and wrinkles, and maybe even a gray hair or two. But underneath all that, he’s still Spencer.
“I though our love was dead, Spencer. I thought I had my chance real young and the rest of my life was going to be spent haunting this booth, waiting for a man that in my delusions was married to a wife that wasn’t me and with kids that aren’t mine. But good God, Spencer, you really are too much sometimes?” Y/N says, her voice breathy and exasperated as she leans in close to Spencer.
“Can I take that as a yes?” Spencer says, terrified for her answer, even though he knew it already, based on how deeply Y/N looks into his eyes.
Y/N is quiet, and even though it’s just a moment it feels like forever. They are so quiet that all they can hear is their heartbeats. The little diner where their fateful love story took flight is never quiet, yet in that moment you can hear a hair pin drop. Spencer counts the seconds that pass, reading Y/N’s eyes, reading her emotion, and praying to a God he’s not sure is real that she’s not going to leave him this time.
“Yes, Spencer. I love you too much to let you walk out here again,” Y/N says, leaning into Spencer’s face.
She bridges the gap that they’ve both been ignoring since they realized they were in each other’s company again. Spencer is still when she leans in, he doesn’t realize until her soft lips kiss him how much he’s missed her. Before his mind is able to run off the far away places called doubt and denial, Y/N wraps her arms around Spencer’s neck, hooking him in closer. Having each other so close has never made them feel so utterly helpless and giddy. Spencer feels like he needs to tether himself to Y/N’s because he still feels like she’s going to float away. The world was dizzying and Spencer was the only solid, strong thing, holding her to Earth. Y/N always knew he was her anchor, it was just a matter of time before Spencer realized it too. Spencer’s quiet whimpers and shaky tremors spurred her on, kissing up and down the openness of his face until she felt the need for air.
“You’ve been practicing? You’re better at this than when you were 23,” Y/N says, not wanting to let go of Spencer’s neck.
“No, God no, Y/N. I haven’t been with anyone since you,” Spencer says, slightly ashamed to be reminded of his deepest mistake.
“Spencer, baby, you know I forgive you, right? And considering you kiss like that now, I know how you can make it up to me,” Y/N says, planting a couple light, feathery kisses up Spencer’s neck and to the corners of his mouth. Her lips are like a paintbrush on his, turning the grimace he holds into a winning smile. He remembers that it’s near impossible for him to not be flustered near Y/N. He’s glad, even now, that still rings true.
“Thank you, Y/N,” Spencer says, he leans his forehead against Y/N’s and lifts her hands to his mouth, kissing each of her fingers as he says “you are enough, and I’ll hope you’ll let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you,”
Y/N kisses Spencer on the nose as he scrunches it, causing her to laugh. She slips out of the booth and holds a hand out for Spencer to grasp. He takes it without hesitation and pulls her in closer. She supposes that after being apart for so long, it would take some time to get back into their rhythm. Y/N knows that it will never be the same; they aren’t 23 years old anymore. They’re scared and wounded, but together, Y/N thinks that they’ll never run out of things to talk about even if they are old and gray and wrinkled.
THANK-YOU FOR READING :) <3 <3
I really appreciate every like, comment, and reblog. It helps me know what people like about my writing things I should work on.
TAGLIST
@shemarmooresfedora
@april-14-blog
@willowrose99
@calm-and-doctor
@spideygenius
@measure-in-pain
@nomajdetective
@spencerreid9
@saspencereid
@laurakirsten0502
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wearywinchester · 3 years
Text
Patience
Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Dean takes care of you after a rough hunt.
Requested by Anonymous: May I please request dean taking care of the reader after she had a surgery after a rough hunt?? I would love to see how he helps her while she's recovering. I can already imagine being overly protective and being adorable and cute and all worried
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: injuries, blood, angst, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol, fluff, kissing
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The hunt went rough, not as bad as others had been in your years of hunting, but enough to land you in the hospital with a concussion and the need for stitches not even Dean could handle himself. He was a nervous wreck the two days you’d spent there, he’d never admit it but he was. When you’d first woken up, you were too tired to do more than open your eyes the slightest bit to find your beau with his head resting against his arm, hand heavy in yours as his eyes focused on the tv in the corner of the room. You recalled his leg bouncing the way it does when he’s worked up about something, offering your hand the occasional squeeze.
Once he’d seen you were awake, it had really started to show no matter how he tried to play it off. Dean Winchester was a worrier for everyone but himself. He was too afraid to lay down next to you just in case he might have jostled you around too much, he didn’t want to make anything worse. Despite that, he’d still been brooding a bit, sulking in his seat as he held your hand and thought he’d been the biggest idiot to let that spirit snag you like that. He didn’t even want you on the hunt in the first place, but you were you and you’d insisted on going. He was never one to hold you back on what you wanted to do but he certainly wished he did just that once.
Now, you were spending the next few days at Jodie’s cabin tucked away in the woods. She’d joined in on the case since she was in town, and there was no arguing your way out of staying with her to let you recover for a few days, not that you minded either. Her cabin was always one you were thrilled to stay in whenever there was time to stay, so talking you into doing so was simple as ever.
Dean was tangled up in worry, not ten minutes going by before he asked if you needed anything. The sight of you in pain made his jaw tense and his cheeks to burn a soft shade of pink because it tore him up to see you struggle. It tore him up that it was something he felt could have been prevented had he done something different. But he kept it to himself, having pushed it to the corners of his mind to torment himself with later once you’re comfortable and at ease.
You, on the other hand, were as frustrated as ever. No matter how much you loved and appreciated Dean’s efforts and his concerns, your independence was wearing away at you. It took everything in you not to burst into tears over the simple fact that you couldn’t drive for the time being, let alone take a shower unaided over the risk of you falling and doing more harm than good. The inconveniences were piling up, a new one being discovered seemingly every other minute.
It was building up; the frustration and desire to do things on your own just as they had been before this all happened was picking at you. So much so, the littlest things were rapidly beginning to irritate you, leaving you to be aggravated and on the brink of tears when something so little as dropping something or not being able to reach something had pushed your limits.
It was nothing Dean had done, not even a little. He was being as generous and helpful as he always was despite the way you could be grumpy. The thought alone was enough to calm you some, but not every time.
This time you’d finally done it.
You found yourself in the kitchen, grabbing a couple beers from the fridge after you’d insisted to Dean that you could handle it on your own. Bobby and Donna had been over, followed by Benny and Charlie and Garth. It was a little get together out back by the lake. It was fun, it was relaxing, it was a nice little break from hunting.
Until now.
You spun on your heel just a little faster than your body could keep up with, your balance wavering and leaving you to stumble into the edge of the countertop before you had the chance to catch yourself. You let out a strangled yelp as the unforgiving corner had jabbed into your side, your gasp sharp as you turned away in fear of it happening again. The bottles in your hand clattered to the floor and broke, beer seeping out in a wet puddle of broken glass. The quick steps distinctive to Dean’s boots had sounded as your hands guarded your side, and it wasn’t until Dean had rushed in that you noticed. It wasn’t until his eyes landed on your side, wide and concerned that you’d noticed.
When you looked down your shirt was beginning to stain a fresh and startling shade of scarlet, hands smudging the very same color across your skin in a matter of moments.
“Sweetheart, what happe—”
“I got it, Dean,” you rush, grabbing the towel sitting nearby, frustration simmering in your stomach as you try not to think about the tears pressing behind your eyes.
“Y/n, you’re bleeding. Let me help you.”
“I said I got it!” You say, louder as you push his hands away. His gaze lifts to yours, a bit taken back as he stands a little straighter from his spot in front of you. It wasn’t your anger or your tone that he cared about, what bothered him was the tears glossing over your eyes and the quiver in your lip. It was the way your brows furrowed as those very tears spilled over heated cheeks. The way your words faltered under the pressure of those tears. “I got it. I’m—I’m fine.”
Your voice was fragile and entirely telling of how very not fine you were. You’d let your anger get the better of you and that only made everything worse, your fists clenching as your cheeks burned.
“Sweetheart,” he says, soft as ever as he steals your attention. You look at him after a moment, averting your gaze just as quickly to hide your tears. “Why don’t you let me take a look at that, okay?”
Your jaw tenses as you nod, the towel still clutched ever so tightly within your palm as you dropped your hand to your side, heart pounding in your chest. He was gentle as he peeled back your shirt and the bandage underneath it, the stitches in your side still having been intact though they were angry and they were red, the wound still more than sensitive as it bled lightly from impact. You were embarrassed as you stood there, guilt eating at you for snapping at the man in front of you when your anger should have stayed directed at yourself.
He was gentle as he snagged the towel from your hands, stepping over the mess on the floor to wet the towel at the sink. He grabbed the first aid kit from one of the cupboards too, setting it down and opening it a while.
The heat in your cheeks had continued to burn as you looked away from his gaze, lip quivering as your eyes clouded and blurred once more at the mere thought of everything that just happened in the span of two minutes.
It wasn’t long before you felt the coolness of the towel against your stomach, relief washing over the irritated skin as he wiped away the blood that had formed over it.
“You okay?” He asks, calm and kind as he pauses.
It wasn’t until you nodded that he continued, setting the dirtied towel off to the side as he grabbed a fresh bandage. You let your gaze fall to him in that moment, watching as his tongue poked out in concentration as he smoothed the bandage securely over your stitches. He didn’t look angry at your outburst, he didn’t look annoyed, not even a little bit. You felt you deserved some of that but it never came. He was patient and kind. He may have been a little rough around the edges sometimes, and he may have been a grump others. But he was also tender and caring, and it only made guilt tug at your heart.
He stood upright when he finished, flashing you a smile as he grabbed your hand and tugged you off to the spare bedroom the two of you shared while you stayed there. You watched quietly as he rifled through his duffle bag without much care about everything that spilled out of it in the current moment. He was in search of the one thing that was sure to bring a smile to your face.
“Aha!” He cheered when he caught sight of it, snagging the shirt from the bottom of his bag.
It was an old t shirt of his, tattered and torn in spots, one that always smelled of his cologne even if it’d faded some. It was your favorite shirt of his and that was something he very well knew even if you thought he wasn’t aware of it. Little did you know he brought it in his bag on every hunt no matter what should you need a pick-me-up, should you need an extra push of comfort. He’ll always bring it.
The very corners of your mouth quirked up and the softest grin, his own having widened. “There’s that smile.”
You flash him a look as you fight to stifle the way that very smile was growing, but you couldn’t find it in you to last all of two seconds trying. You snag the shirt from his outstretched hand and move to peel off your own, and no matter how much Dean had wanted to help you, just to keep that wince from appearing on your face, he lets you do it on your own because he knows how much it meant to you to have to be able to do something on your own while you recovered.
Your shoulders slump once you put it on, smile fading once more when you look at him and his brows furrow slightly in a silent question of what’s the matter.
After a moment or two or you mind racing a mile a minute of just how you should apologize, just how you should make it up to him, you finally make up your mind on the only way you know how to do that. And after a moment or two you lean on your toes and press a kiss to his lips, soft and sweet as your hands squeeze his.
“‘M sorry,” you whisper against his lips, the guilt of snapping at him still heavy in your heart.
He chuckles softly, forehead pressed to his as his nose bumps against yours. He steals a few more quick kisses, his smile still very much there.
“Sweetheart, do you know how many times I’ve been a pain in the ass when I was hurt?” He said, pulling back to look at you. He kisses away your frown the moment he sees it, his hand coming up to swipe away the stray tear on your face. “You don’t have to be sorry for bein’ frustrated, and even if you were a pain I’d still take care of you.”
You bite the inside of your cheek but he sees your smile anyway. “You’re terrible at accepting apologies, you know.”
“Or maybe you’re just terrible at givin’ them,” he jests, laughing out when you swat his shoulder. “‘M kidding!”
“Yeah, I’ll bet you are,” you sigh, smiling up at him as you shake your head.
“But seriously, sweetheart, cleaning up a couple of beers ain’t gonna kill me. I promise. Besides, I didn’t like that brand anyway.”
Your eyes roll and a laugh falls past your lips, lips he dipped down to kiss more than a couple times more in that moment. You knew that wasn’t going to be the last of your apologies that day because you still felt bad and he knew that. But for now you’d settle for the smile he’d always put on your face because no matter what, he’d be there in a heartbeat with all the patience in the world.
Through thick and thin, attitude and all, he would be there.
Tags: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @dean-is-sams-apple-pie @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey
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