the big 4-0
requested: hiiii! for chris’ birthday, can you do a futile oneshot of him being insecure for his 40th bday but reader makes sure he knows just how much she loves him and she tells him that the age gap is just *chef’s kiss* like she loves that hes older than her because she feels safe around him and protected and stuff so like a little bit angst but just fluff and smut!!! but only if you want!
a/n: i love this idea so much and i haven’t written any futile oneshots in a while so thanks for the request !! also i can’t believe this man is turning 40? he’s aged like fine wine😌
warnings: slight angst, eating a cupcake in bed(not any kind of food play kink tho!), insecure chris, smut (blowjob, unprotected sex - pls be smart),,, i haven’t written anything in so long please let me know of any other warnings i should put omg
no beta/loosely proofread so please excuse errors!
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June 13th. A morning like any other. Except, a very special occasion. Chris’ birthday. But not just any birthday: his 40th, to be exact. You know he was not looking forward to reaching that number, but you also know, being the little social butterfly he is and the way he loves his family, he’s looking forward to celebrating with you and with them.
A little less than a year ago, you’d just reunited with Chris for the summer. A little less than a year ago, you were having to hide your relationship from practically everyone. Now, both your parents and his parents, all of his close family members, and his close friends are all going to be at the Evans’ house to celebrate the big day. But first, you plan to celebrate with him this morning and you get him all to yourself.
So, while he’s still sleeping, you sneak out of bed and down to the kitchen where a batch of cupcakes you’d made the night before were sitting, just waiting to be eaten by the birthday boy. Dodger watches you get out of bed and leave the room and, thankfully, opts to stay on his pillow on the floor at the foot of yours and Chris’ bed.
Down in the kitchen, you anxiously gather what you need. You grab the cupcakes from the fridge, take the top off the container, and your nose is met with the sweet aroma of the sugary treat. You’re proud of how they’ve turned out and you’re excited for Chris to try one. Carefully, you take one cupcake out of the tin and grab a candle to poke into the top of the chocolate frosting. Then, you light the candle, grab a blue napkin that has a silver number 40 on it, slide it underneath the cupcake, and carry it back up to the bedroom.
By the time you arrive back to the room, though, Chris’ eyes are just beginning to open.
“Jeez, y’scared me. I don’t like wakin’ up without you next to me…” his sleepy voice begins to say, sitting up in bed more and the sheets fall from his body to expose his bare chest, littered with intricate ink designs, a chain hanging from his neck, and a layer of light hair. But he interrupts himself when he sees the little treat in your hands.
“Aw, Sweetheart,” he smiles bashfully.
“Haaappy birthday to you,” you start to sing quietly, but when you see his face and neck flush pink, you instead save him the embarrassment.
Climbing onto the bed beside him, you sit on your knees and hold the cupcake out in front of him to give him a chance to blow out the cute little smiley-face candle. He invites you closer to him, placing two firm hands on your waist.
“Make a wish, Lovie,” you say softly.
“I already have everything I want,” he says cheesily, voice gruff with sleep and a tilt of his head as he gazes into your eyes. But when he sees them roll at his goofy joke, he speaks his wish out loud: “I wish for happiness like this, with you, forever,”
And following his last words, he blows out the candle, causing a tiny amount of smoke to float in the air around the two of you.
“That’s a good wish,” you mumble as he pulls you into him, causing your mouths to clash in a slow, languid, lustful kiss.
After a few moments, both of you pull away just enough so that you can look down at the cupcake in your hand and start to wriggle it out of the reusable baking liner.
“You made these?” Chris asks, taking a swipe of the frosting off the top.
“Mhm,” you answer, pulling the candle from the top and offering it to him. He licks it off with a little giggle before you set the candle in the liner on the nightstand.
“They look delicious,” he compliments.
“Well thank you. I hope they taste just as good,” you laugh softly, unfolding the napkin from your hand to make sure no crumbs slip away.
“Aw, did’ja have to remind me of the number, Sweetheart?” he sighs, seeing the napkin with the number on it, but he gives a charming smile anyway.
“Yeah, it’s exciting,” you gently tell him in return, lifting the cupcake to his mouth. He takes a bite, then chuckles after swallowing.
“Exciting for you to celebrate, maybe. But I’m not exactly thrilled to be 40 now,”
“‘S just another year older, I guess. Just reminds me how much older I am than you,” he laughs lightly again, leaning over and taking another bite from the cupcake in your hands.
“Chris,” you say, a sad smile gracing your lips as your eyebrows furrow together.
“It’s true!” he mumbles, frosting sticking to his upper lip.
“Well, you’re always going to be that much older than me. That’s just how life works. You turning 40 today doesn’t suddenly make the age gap any different,” you say in a teasing tone, leaning up and over to kiss the little spot of frosting off his lip.
“So you’re okay with the fact that I’m officially an old man now?” he makes fun of himself, but you won’t tolerate it.
“Chris, I’m so glad we’re the ages that we are. If I’m being honest, I love the gap between our ages. There’s just something about you that sets you apart. You’re wiser, more experienced: and not just in the terms of sex or relationships. You’ve literally experienced more life than I have. You have a more mature outlook on life. And you look out for me. You keep me safe,” you say, placing a hand on his scruffy cheek and running your thumb over his lips.
“Chris, I love you for you. I love who I am with you and I love who we are when we’re together. And part of you is where you are in your life right now. And I want to celebrate your life.”
“What a little poet you are, Honey,” he says teasingly, but you know he’s being serious. He kisses your palm before he leans down to kiss your lips again, freely uttering an, “I love you” once more. You repeat it back to him, followed by a, “Happy birthday, Christopher” mumbled against his sugar-coated lips.
Soon, the kiss heats up. The remainder of the cupcake is forgotten, set on the nightstand, and all of his attention is turned to you. And all your attention is turn to him.
“Do I get an early birthday present now?” he asks in a whisper, but his voice is comparable to a growl.
Sliding your hand under the duvet, you find his lap and you squeeze him through his boxers, eliciting a small grunt from deep in his chest. Feeling just how hard he is already, you pull the covers all the way off his body before helping him out of the fabric covering his thighs, sliding them all the way off of him to completely expose him.
Chris slings his arm around you and grabs a hold on your shoulder, instinctively digging his fingers into your muscles there as you start to slowly stroke him. The head of his member is red and leaking and you let your thumb run over it before leaning down and over to take him into your mouth. Chris’ hand stays with you, gathering your hair out of the way of your face and rubbing your back and neck as you go down on him.
“Fuck, Sweetheart,” he hisses as your tongue swirls around his tip.
Your tongue presses against him, trailing along the vein on the underside of his cock. You try taking more this time and he guides your movements, making sure you can adjust to his size but you can’t help but gag around him as you feel him touch the back of your throat when you go too fast. You rub your thighs together to relieve some of the pressure building up for yourself, too. You swallow, the walls of your throat clenching around him, and Chris moans loudly.
“Fuck, Honey, fuck...”
You continue the actions with your mouth that you know Chris loves, and by the sounds the man above you is making, you can tell he’s getting close. You take him all the way again, and with a high-pitched cry of a moan, his high starts to hit him. And he’s gone for when your throat closes in on him, swallowing his hot release as best as you can.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, placing his hand on your back and bringing you up to meet his eyes “That was fuckin’ incredible.”
“Yeah?” you ask, and he wipes some of his cum from the corner of your mouth.
“Yeah,” he reaffirms, face still strawberry red.
“Well there’s a lot more where that came from. Ready to go again?” you ask teasingly once you see he’s hard again. “We can do this all day,”
“Goddamn, I’m lucky. Wanna be inside you now, Honey. Can I?”
“The birthday boy will get what he wants,” you smile slyly, as Chris starts to help to undress you, taking off your sleeping shorts and sliding his own over-sized tee shirt off your torso.
Once you’re both completely naked, you toss one of your legs over his lap so that you’re straddling him. Then, without any more waiting, he guides your hips so that you’re hovering over his hardened length.
You press your hands flat against his abdomen to hold your balance as you gently sink down into his hard member, letting out a quiet moan when just his tip enters you.
“Fuck, Chris,” you whimper, sliding down onto him a little further.
“Oh fuck. You feel so good, Honey. So good. Just for me."
You whimper and clench your eyes shut as you slowly feel him bottom out, inch by massive inch.
“Chris,” you moan out, your voice catches in your throat and you struggle to speak, “You’re— fuck, you’re— god, you’re so big,”
“I know, Sweetheart. Doin’ so good for me, though. Feel so fuckin’ good ‘round my cock,”
He places his hand on your lower stomach, feeling the bulge of the size of his member from inside of you.
“Honey. Oh, Honey,” he murmurs lowly, his voice breaking in pleasure.
All you can let out in response is a strangled whimper, rolling your head back and then around to rest your forehead against Chris’ shoulder. He sits up straight against the headboard of the bed and crosses his legs, digging his fingers into the flesh of your ass to pull you closer to him. Your feet wrap around his back and the new angle is even more stimulating for both of you. It takes a moment before you’re ready to move again, having to adjust to his size again before you’re driving your hips down into his once more.
When you feel closer to your climax, you want more control. So you uncurl your legs from around his back and instead bend your knees to press the bottom of your feet into the mattress below you. You meet his thrusts upward with your own bounces down onto his length. Moans and whimpers are accompanied by the slicks sounds from your bodies joining and the bed below you creaking. You can only hope Dodger’s left the room or is still fast asleep.
It doesn’t take much longer before your tight walls are clenching around him and Chris knows your body better than you do. He knows you’re about to come, and he also knows he’s practically about to burst.
“Chris, oh god,” you whimper, feeling your legs start to shake.
“Come for me, Honey,” he coos, gathering your hair in one hand to lick and suck on your exposed neck, nothing but a sheen layer of sweat covering your skin, “C’mon, pretty girl, come all over my cock,”
Your climax crashes through you with a breathy moan; you latch on to Chris’ shoulders and throw your head back. He finishes right with you, thrusting up into your tight entrance and coming hard for a second time this morning, painting your walls with his white hot pleasure.
“Oh god. Oh my god. Holy shit,” he pants, trying to recover his breathing.
A small groan escapes his lips and his eyebrows furrow in pleasure as you lean forward to kiss him. Air is only exchanged from his mouth to yours and your mouth to his, and you only break away when your vision starts to go a little fuzzy from a lack of proper oxygen. His sizable hands still spread wide on your back, brace you and hold you close to him while you both still work on coming back down from your highs.
A few moments pass, and with him still inside of you, before you know it, you’re both slumped down and tangled back in the sheets, your body on top of his, resting comfortably in a state of orgasmic bliss.
“Happy birthday,” you breathe out, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his beard.
“Y’know, maybe my 40th year won’t be too bad,” he sighs, pulling you closer into his embrace and humming softly against your cheek, “As long as I’m starting it out like this,”
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Wear Me Down
Pairing: Soft!Dark Ari Levinson x Female Reader, OMC x Female Reader
Summary: You never wanted a soulmate, but fate brought Ari Levinson into your life.
Word Count: Almost 6.9k (Yup! Sorry!)
Warnings: Tagging Dubcon to be safe (please do not read if this upsets you!), explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, possessive behavior, manipulation, mind games, angst, porn with feels, soft!dark Ari Levinson (he's a warning!)
A/N: For @stargazingfangirl18 's Siri's 5k Soft Dark Challenge (quote: "I can't stop thinking about you.") and @sweetlyscared 's Sweet Lee's Sad 1k Challenge (quote: "Do you love him?"). Congrats, lovelies!!! This is my twist on soulmates and I hope everyone enjoys. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @tuiccim , but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly. Divider by the beautiful @firefly-graphics. Comments, likes, reblogs and asks are appreciated. ❤️
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Soulmates. Two separate beings condemned to spend their lives in search of each other. People yearned to find the other half of themselves. They prayed and begged for them. You weren’t one of those people.
You decided long ago that fate shouldn’t get to dictate who you were destined to be with. It didn’t seem right or natural. You didn’t need a stranger to complete you. Besides, what if your soulmate didn’t exist? Were you expected to be alone forever? And if they did exist, who was to say you would even like them? Let alone want to spend your life with them?
Luke wasn’t your “fated” soulmate. You knew that the moment you met. There was no aura surrounding him. Your minds didn’t link the moment you touched. But it didn’t matter. You fell in love with him as a person. It was your choice because you were free to make your own path in life. And you were happy with how things were.
“Oh, my god,” Luke moaned, bringing you back to the moment.
You smirked as you watched his eyes roll back. “That good, huh?”
“Good? It’s heaven,” he moaned again, licking his lips.
“Well, don’t hog it all,” you teased, reaching over to pull the dessert plate across the table. “I knew we should have ordered two.”
“You didn’t tell me it was that good,” he chuckled, trying to take the plate back as you smiled. “C’mon. One more bite!”
“No! You’ve had more than half.”
“Okay, okay. You win,” he said, holding his hands up in defeat as he gazed at you.
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” he asked innocently.
“THAT. That puppy dog look,” you answered, taking a slow bite of the chocolate cake.
“Should I switch to…” he trailed off as his head dropped, lifting it slowly with a pout. “The smolder?”
You almost spit your bite out, covering your mouth as you tried not to laugh. “Not even close.”
One of the things you loved about Luke was his ability to make you laugh. He was against the idea of soulmates, too. He saw too many people rearrange their entire lives just to appease others. He also saw people tear themselves apart when they didn’t find their other half soon enough. It was heartbreaking to see people crumble into themselves and so quickly. Neither of you wanted that.
“Actually, you probably should finish it. I can’t have another bite,” you said as you slid the plate back his way, wiping your mouth with the napkin.
“The smolder did work,” he winked, stopping in mid-bite when you rubbed your arms. “Cold?”
“No, no. I’m fine,” you replied, your eyes darting around the restaurant. It was a warm and cozy atmosphere, but you couldn’t shake the feeling in your gut that something suddenly felt wrong.
“Why don’t I pay the check and we can get going?” Luke offered, looking around for your waiter.
“Yeah. Maybe I’m just anxious to get you home,” you smirked, trying to be playful. Judging by the raised eyebrow you got in response when he looked back at you, it fell flat.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking your hand.
“I’m okay, Luke,” you assured him, trying to convince yourself as well. “I just want-”
“ARI! There you are!” a man across the room shouted, making a few heads turn. Including your own.
You stopped breathing when you saw the man, who you could only assume was Ari, begin to cross the room. If you had to describe an alpha male in look, it would have been him. The man exuded confidence and power, his muscles and large frame hardly contained under his clothing. The long, dark hair and beard only added to his allure. In fact, he was the most attractive man you had ever seen.
But that wasn’t what struck you. What got your attention was the glow around him. The red aura seemed to flicker as he got closer to you. Of course, it was red. Power. Passion. Love. It was him. Your soulmate.
You turned your head away before he could make eye contact and slid further into your seat. You prayed he didn’t see you, but how could he miss you? And why was he here?! You went all this time without him.
“We need to go,” you whispered as Luke flagged down your waiter.
“We can go as soon as-”
“We need to go. NOW,” you hissed, bumping the table as you got up. “So much for not attracting attention,” you thought.
“Is everything alright, miss?” the waiter asked as you fumbled to grab your purse, your hand shaking.
“Babe?” Luke asked, already out of his seat.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I just need some air, okay? I’ll wait outside,” you said quickly, grabbing your purse and bolting from the table.
You knew the moment Ari stopped walking, his head slowly turning toward your fleeing form. You made the mistake of glancing back, seeing his blue eyes flash as he looked at you. He looked as if he would follow before his friend stopped him.
"I took the liberty of ordering you a scotch," you heard, thankful that you got the chance to slip outside.
The cold breeze hit your face as you stumbled outside, nearly losing your footing as you shivered. You concentrated on your breathing to steady yourself as you grabbed your keys. You debated getting in the driver seat as you got to the car before you decided on the passenger seat, too overwhelmed to drive. The car smelled like Luke's cologne and it only soothed you a bit.
You weren't sure how much time had passed when the driver door opened, making you jump.
"Woah. It's just me," Luke gently said as he saw your face, getting in and taking the keys from your hand. "Babe, you're shaking."
"Let's just go. Please."
He didn't say anything as he buckled up and started the car. You looked in the mirror when he backed out of the parking space and drove away, holding your breath until the restaurant faded from your vision.
"It was him."
"It was who?"
"It was him," you said again, refusing to say the word. Because that man wasn't… He couldn’t be. "Please, don't make me say it."
"Wait. Him? Your soulmate?" Luke asked, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.
"Yes. I saw his aura," you answered. "But it's okay. Maybe he didn't notice mine."
"I doubt that," he muttered, glancing in the rearview mirror.
"He didn't follow me out," you assured him with more confidence than you felt. You didn't want him to be upset or worried. "Can we just forget I mentioned it? Please?"
"How can you just forget?"
"Because I can," you stubbornly replied. Because you had to. You had your own life. You didn't need a stranger to mess it up. "Because I love you."
"I love you, too," he swore.
But for the first time, you heard uncertainty in his tone.
The automatic door buzzed as you stepped into the liquor store, shivering. The fluorescent lights made you squint as you went down the aisle. They never bothered you before, but you were on edge. You had a hard time sleeping the night before. A night in with a nice bottle of wine would help relax you. And it would hopefully make it up to Luke since you ruined the rest of that nice dinner.
You rubbed your arms as you searched for the right bottle. Why was it so cold? Or did you just need some rest? Smiling, you finally found the one you were looking for. But as you reached for it, a hand suddenly clamped over yours. The cold you felt was replaced by heat, like an electric current throughout your entire body. And it shook you to your core.
"You have good taste."
You drew a deep breath into your lungs and slowly exhaled as you turned your head. It was him. He found you. The aura surrounding Ari seemed to glow even brighter with his touch. Oh, God. He touched you.
"I'm Ari," he introduced himself, though you knew that. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
You mumbled your name in response when he kept his eyes on you. He repeated it, like he was tasting it on his tongue. As if he had the right. "How did you find me? You know what? It doesn’t matter. I should-”
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice you, sweetheart? Even if you weren't my soulmate, you know how to get a guy's attention."
You yanked your hand away, taking the bottle with it. The action made him smirk and you wished you could slap him. But you were afraid to touch him again. "You're not my soulmate. We don't know each other. And it's going to stay that way. I'm sorry."
He chuckled as if you told him a hilarious joke. "Let me pay for that."
"No thanks," you said, trying to walk around him. You gasped when he gently grabbed your arm to stop you, that current running through you again. Was it like that for everyone? How could they stand it?
"You already feel it," he whispered.
You wanted to deny it, but he would see through the lie. "I need to go. My boyfriend is waiting for me."
You chuckled this time at how simple he made it sound. "I'm not breaking up with him."
"Yes, you will. Or he'll break up with you, but I'm counting on you to make the right decision."
"You think you can tell me what to do because we have forced chemistry? It doesn't mean a thing. It isn't real."
Something you could only identify as deadly filled his blue eyes as he stepped closer. "You don't know the shit I've been through… What I've seen. I'm owed something."
The irrational part of you was curious and wanted to comfort him, but the real you took over. "Just because you're owed something doesn't mean I'm going to be your prize. Maybe fate was wrong. And I told you. I have a boyfriend."
"You're loyal. I respect that. But you should end it. It's only going to hurt him if you don't."
"Is that a threat?" you whispered as he brought a hand to your cheek.
"It's a promise," he whispered back.
You stumbled back, the bottle almost slipping from your hand. "I don't want a soulmate, so stay the hell away from me," you snapped as you walked away. You knew better than to push, but you stopped and looked back. "You know, I can't even feel you in my mind. Maybe this whole thing really is bullshit."
Something in his smile warned you that you just began a dangerous game when you walked away. And that you were going to lose.
"You've been quiet," Luke said as he opened the bottle of wine.
You were trying to decide how to tell him that Ari found you. It wasn't your fault, but you felt guilty. "Still tired."
"Maybe we can go to bed early," he suggested, smirking as he poured each of you a glass.
"Except I won't be sleeping," you teased, taking a sip as he handed one over. "Mmm. I needed this."
"Didn't I say you had good taste?"
The glass shattered at your feet. Your breathing picked up, trembling from head to toe. Ari's voice was like velvet in your mind, intimately brushing along the walls. A place you never invited him to, but he had the key. And you couldn't take it back.
"Babe, you okay?" Luke asked frantically, grabbing something to clean up the mess. "Be careful. I don't want you to cut yourself."
You tried to stand still, unsure of what to say. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. That had to be it.
"I know you can hear me."
You didn't move until you felt Luke take your hand. His touch was familiar, but feeling his hand in yours felt… wrong. You refused to accept that. He was the one you wanted. It was your choice.
"You're scaring me. Say something," he urged.
"Luke," you began, looking at him uneasily.
"What is it?" he asked, brushing his thumb along your palm.
"If he doesn't stop touching you, I'll break his hand."
You ignored Ari, but the threat was there all the same. "When I went to the liquor store earlier… He was there."
Luke pulled away, your arm falling to your side. You knew he didn't mean it as a hurtful gesture, but it still felt that way. "Did he touch you?"
You flinched at the accusatory tone. "Yes, he did and I'm sorry."
He searched your face, as if he was trying to see through you. "So, you can hear him? He can talk to you?"
You nodded. You weren't going to lie about it.
"Why didn't you tell me as soon as you got home?"
The accusatory tone again made you angry. "What was there to tell? I told him I have a boyfriend and that soulmates are bullshit. My life is still mine and that's that."
"But he's in your mind now!" he snapped, tapping his temple with his index finger. "You can't just… shut him out!"
"Yes, I can!" you shouted, taking a breath to calm down. "I don't want to fight."
His shoulders slumped as he pulled you into his arms. "Neither do I."
"I love you. This doesn't change anything."
"Oh, sweetheart. It changes everything."
You knew Luke couldn't hear him, but you already felt him slipping through your fingers.
You groaned when Luke held a shirt up from the rack. "No. Absolutely not."
"What? I think this would look good on me," he smiled.
"I wouldn't wipe my ass with that," you joked.
"That's good because I'm wiping my ass with it," he said without skipping a beat.
You burst out laughing as you took it from his hand and put it back. "No. That's a deal breaker," you teased before your smile fell.
"It's okay, babe. I won't buy the shirt," he promised when you looked around.
"No, it's…" you had that feeling again. Only it wasn't a chill any longer. It was like a blazing fire.
"See someone you know?"
As if on cue, Ari walked into the store. He looked like a predator on the hunt and you couldn't tear your gaze away. It wasn't fair how handsome he was or the fact the power clung to him like a second skin. And the smirk he gave you as he walked your way sent a spike of arousal so sharp your knees almost buckled.
"That's him," you whispered, your heart pounding as you reached for Luke's hand. Instead of taking it, he grabbed your arm instead and pushed you behind him. The protective gesture brought a soft smile to your face.
Ari stopped in front of you and you took a moment to compare the men. Luke wasn't a small guy or easily intimidated, but Ari looked like he could eat him alive. He also looked like he had wanted to toss you over his shoulder like a caveman and take you away.
"You must be the boyfriend," Ari said smoothly.
"Luke. And you must be her… Oh, wait. Nothing. You're nothing to her."
The words shocked you and filled you with a sense of pride.
Ari smirked as he took a step closer. "End it."
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Luke asked.
"I'm her soulmate," he replied confidently. "And I promise it will be much less painful if you just walk away. And if you don't? I'll bust down your door and fuck her right in front of you. Just so you can see how good she should feel before I get rid of you myself."
Blood rushed to your cheeks. Hearing that made you furious, but it didn't stop the image from filling your mind. Your body pinned beneath his, taking everything he gave you, until you screamed.
"You son of a-"
"Stop!" you demanded before they came to blows. "Ari, please. You can't just interfere in our lives. You have to understand that."
Ari's gaze softened surprisingly as it swept over you. "Don't make me do something to him you won't forgive me for."
You swallowed as his voice lingered in your mind. "Please, go."
“Get your stuff and get out. I’ll know if you don’t. Consider that your warning," he said, turning to walk away. You hated the way your eyes followed his frame and the way your heart ached with each step he made.
"We'll be fine," Luke assured you once he was gone. "What could he possibly do?"
Every morning for the last three mornings, the moment you opened your eyes, you were greeted with Ari's deep voice in your mind. And, every morning, you ignored him. You admitted to yourself that it wasn't easy. The natural pull made you want to answer him.
"Are you getting enough rest? You need your strength."
"When you move in with me, I expect us to have breakfast together. Work can keep me busy, but I won't neglect you."
"We'll have to go shopping together. I want this to feel like your home."
It was always a combination of things. What he wanted to do to you, how he saw your lives together. He always made sure you were taking care of yourself, which didn't make sense to you. He had to know you weren't resting well. Maybe the arrogant asshole was taunting you.
Oh, you picked up quickly that he was arrogant.
"I woke up so hard thinking about you. Are you wet? I know you're thinking of me. I can feel it."
"This shower would be better if you were in here with me. Your cries would sound so pretty when I bend you over."
"You'll be addicted to my cock. You'll wonder how you went so long without it."
Luke tried not to worry when he saw your strained smile as you both got ready each day, but it was all over his face. Truthfully, you were worried, too. It was a distraction. You weren't sure how much longer you could ignore him. And his words were getting to you.
When you looked to the future, Luke's face was no longer there. It was a blur. But the focus was slowly shifting to Ari. You tried not to think ahead. You didn't want to see in your mind what your heart was fighting.
"Let's call in," you suggested as Luke poured his coffee.
"I can't today. I'm in meetings all day."
"Are you sure? We can go shopping. See a movie. Stay in," you ticked off, giving him a small smile.
Luke set his mug down. "You really want to call in?" he asked suspiciously. "You never skip work. What's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is it…" he trailed off, touching his temple.
"We talked about this. I'm fine," you brushed off.
"No, you talked about it," he argued. "You keep saying you're fine, but he isn't leaving your head, is he?"
"No, he isn't, but I'm ignoring him. I haven't answered him at all."
"And how's that working out for you?" he asked, crossing his arms.
"It's fine, like I said. I thought you were on my side. You said we'd be fine," you reminded him. And you had believed him.
"I am on your side, but ignoring him isn't the answer.”
"Then what do you suggest?" you pressed. Because you certainly didn't know what to do.
Luke contemplated before he grabbed his phone. "I'll see if I can conference in from here. I don't want you here by yourself. You take the day off and try to get some sleep. We'll figure this out."
"Thank you," you whispered, getting your own phone to message your boss.
"I'll keep the door shut so the noise doesn't bother you," he said, kissing your forehead before he made his call.
You groaned as you flopped back on your bed a few minutes later. Thankfully, your boss was understanding and you had more than enough personal time saved up. Maybe Luke was right. Sleep would help and your head would be clear.
"Skipping work, huh?"
You groaned again. Of course, he knew. God, how did others stand someone being in their minds? The strange thing was, it didn't feel bad with him. That pissed you off because it shouldn't have felt good.
"Talk to me."
You closed your eyes, seeking out the link. You weren't sure what you were doing, but instinct took over. "Ari, you need to stop this."
"You have a beautiful voice."
The compliment made you heart somersault before you could stop it. "Thank you."
"So tell me what's so bad about being mine."
"That right there. You think I'm yours. You feel as if you have some kind of claim on me when you don't. I built a life for myself and I don't want to live depending on another. I know that isn't fair to you and I'm sorry."
"I built a life for myself, too, but I'm adapting so you can be part of it. We can adjust to this together, but you have to give me something to work with."
You sighed as you pinched the bridge of your nose. "I can't. I'm sorry."
“Don’t you feel empty, too, being apart from me?”
One of the bitter things about soulmates was the distance. Too much time apart, especially denying the bond, made it harder. “I’m not talking about this anymore. You need to try and forget about me.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
"There are plenty of others out there."
"They aren't you, sweetheart. They'll never be you. Trust me. I tried to fuck you out of my heart before I even met you. All it did was make me feel empty. And now that I have you, you think I want to let you go?"
Your gut twisted at his words. "You don't have me."
"But I will and it's going to feel so good.”
You inhaled sharply, your heart beating faster. “Please, don’t say anything else.”
"Just imagine it, sweetheart. On my knees in front of you, slowly peeling down your soaked panties. Oh, we both know you'd be drenched and twitching for me."
Your pussy clenched as an image of him looking up at you, his pupils blown, flashed behind your eyes. "Ari."
"Fuck, I can practically taste you on the tip of my tongue. So sweet. So wet."
You gasped, swearing that you felt his tongue lick a strip along your folds. Fuck, you felt his beard, too. How was that possible? "Stop."
"But the first time I really make you come will be on my cock," you could hear the gravel in his voice. "You're going to say my name when you do. And when I fill MY sweet cunt, you'll know in your fucking soul that you. Are. Mine."
You almost reached between your legs to relieve the ache, but you gripped the sheets instead. "Ari, stop!"
"That's not what you really want. You know what you want more than to be wrecked by my cock? You want to feel whole. I'm the only one who can do that."
You wanted to scream in defiance. Or burst into tears. There were cracks in your heart that you didn’t know existed, but what did he have to fill them?
"Believe it or not, I actually admire your will. I'm not trying to break it. But we'll see how much longer you last."
You took off the rest of the week and couldn't find it in your heart to feel bad. Not with the images that refused to leave your mind no matter how hard you tried to block them out. You scrubbed the counter, unable to stay still as you tried to distract yourself. Adrenaline continued to surge through your veins as you finished, moving to the next task.
You used to pride yourself on your resolve, but maybe you were weak. How else could you explain how easily and quickly you were breaking down? You wiped your hands when you heard the front door open, rushing to see Luke. He was there. He was real.
"Hey, babe. I thought I'd come home early and-"
You pressed your mouth to his, not giving him a chance to breathe. "Bed," you ordered as he picked you up.
"I really need to talk to you," he tried as you kissed along his jaw.
"Bed," you said again.
He groaned as he carried you, not questioning what had gotten into you. Not even a minute later, you were tossed on the bed. Luke crawled up your body, his mouth finding yours again as pinned you down. You reached down and popped open the button of his pants as you kissed him deeper, making him gasp when you unzipped them and pushed them down as far as you could.
"Babe, we can go slow," he offered, sitting up a bit when you hiked up your shirt.
"Just fuck me," you hissed desperately, pushing your underwear down. You could talk later. "Please, just fuck me," you begged in a softer tone, reaching for him when he took himself out of his underwear.
Luke was always good to you with foreplay, making sure you were ready. But you saw the lust in his eyes from your demand as he settled between your thighs. There was something else there that almost made you pause. Why did it look like his heart was breaking? He slid his hands beneath your ass to lift you before you could think more on it, the head of his cock rubbing against your slick hole, before he slid in.
You moaned as you closed your eyes, putting your hands on his shoulders to keep you steady. The familiar stretch had you clenching around him and you wondered just how quickly it would take for you to get off. The broken whimper you let out made him groan as he pressed you further into the mattress.
"I love you so much," his voice cracked as he thrust deeper.
"I love you, too."
His mouth found your neck as he rocked his hips, his beard making you shiver as it scratched your skin. Your eyes flew open as your nails dug into Luke's skin because he didn't have a beard. "Luke," you gasped.
He moaned your name as you looked up at him, but his eyes were shut in ecstasy. You blinked and you saw Ari above you, staring right into your eyes. You felt him in you. Blinking again, it shifted back to Luke. Your body went lax beneath his as you squeezed your eyes shut.
"How badly do you need to come, sweetheart?"
The hands that moved to your hips felt different. It wasn't the touch you knew, but it was the touch you craved. It terrified you. You dared to open your eyes again and all you saw was Ari. Your soulmate. Bringing you higher and higher.
"Come. Give him one last treat."
You couldn't stop your body from seizing, crying out from your release. You didn't give yourself a chance to enjoy it as the image fell away, shoving Luke off of you as you tried to catch your breath. He called after you as you rolled from the bed and bolted to the bathroom. You barely had a chance to shut and lock it before you went to the toilet, retching.
The pounding at the door seconds later didn't even make you look up. "Babe, are you sick?" he asked, trying the handle. "Please, let me in."
"Be right out!" you called, gagging again as you began to cry. How could you face Luke when you thought about Ari? When you felt him? How could you tell him you came because of another man?
"He'll get over it."
"Shut up! Shut UP!"
"He will. He knows he's losing you. He lost you before he even had you. And he has his own soulmate out there. You do realize you're hurting them, too?"
You got to your feet, your stomach still rolling as you went to rinse your mouth. "Please, leave me alone. Please.”
"It hurts when you reject me. I know you can't stop thinking about me. I know you ache for me. I ache for you, too."
You wiped your eyes, looking in the mirror. You looked worn out. "I mean it, Ari. Stay the hell away from us and stay out of my mind."
"All this hurt and pain for what? Giving fate the middle finger just so you can say that you're right? Guess what, sweetheart? You're wrong. And I am fucking tired of you denying me. So… fucking tired."
You rubbed your arms as a chill rolled down your spine. The soft growl in his soft voice was enough to intimidate you, which angered you because you didn't owe him a thing. You stubbornly clung to that.
"I'll see you soon."
Luke sat on the sofa with you, not speaking for a few minutes after you told him what happened. You felt sick seeing the look of betrayal on his face. "Do you love him?"
"What?! No. How could you ask me that?" you asked. "I love you."
"But you're thinking of him. You're seeing him," he said, putting his face in his hands. "I've seen others fall apart. I didn't think it would happen to us."
"Falling apart? It hasn't even been a week since we saw him at the store."
"And look at you!" he shouted as he lifted his head, making you move back. "You're skipping work. You're thinking of him when we're sleeping together. You realize it's only going to get worse, right?"
Your lip trembled as you shook your head. "No. We love each other. That's enough to make it work."
Luke stood up, slowly pacing back and forth. "Except it isn't enough."
"Yes, it is," you said, standing up to take his hand.
"No, it isn't," he said, stepping back before you could touch him. "That's why I came home early."
"Why?" you whispered when he wouldn't look you in the eye. "Why?!"
"Because I’m saying we're done," he whispered, tears in his eyes as he finally looked at you. "I love you. I do, but… I can't do this. Neither can you."
You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. "You don't mean that."
"Yes, I do," he said with a finality that broke your heart.
"Did something happen?" you asked, tears clogging your throat when he shook his head. Was that why he looked so heartbroken in bed? Because he knew he would walk away? "I don't want to lose you or what we have. Please."
"I'll stay somewhere else for the next few days until we can get this sorted,” Luke sniffled, like he was trying to hold himself together. "I'm thankful I had you as long as I did. And I know love exists because of you. I'm always going to cherish that."
You let the tears flow freely. You two were supposed to beat fate. But was this the path all along? "So, that's really it. You're done with us?"
Luke took cautious steps toward you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry,” he said against your skin, walking around you as you crumpled to the floor.
Sobs wracked your frame as you tried to process what just happened. It felt like another bad image in your mind, but the sound of the door slamming shut made you cry harder. He walked away. Was it your fault?
You cried until your head hurt, not lifting yourself from the floor when you stopped. You expected to feel Ari’s voice brush in your mind, but you didn’t hear anything. There was no warmth. No comfort. Nothing.
You were met with silence. That was what you wanted all along. So why did it feel like your heart broke all over again?
A knock at the door made you open your eyes. You pulled yourself up, cracking your neck. Sleeping on the floor wasn’t your brightest idea, but you were too hurt to care. You didn’t even check your reflection before you went to open it.
You felt the warmth before you saw Ari on the other side. You wanted to bask in it. As he stepped inside, making you step back, you wanted to know why he was there. And how he found you. But he was your soulmate. He would always know where you were and when you would need him.
"Are you happy?" you asked. “He left. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
When Ari didn't respond you shoved his chest. It was like pushing a wall of pure muscle as he stared with that stoic expression. You tried again and he didn't budge, your anger surging.
"Damn you! And fuck you!" you shouted, your mental walls crumbling to rubble. "You ruined everything! Because of you, I lost the man I lo-"
Ari gripped the back of your head before you could finish the word, crushing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. He bit down on your bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth. His tongue followed, slipping into your mouth as you gasped. The dam broke completely as the taste of bittersweet sorrow was forever committed to your memory.
"Don't say his fucking name and don't you dare you say you love him. I'm going to spend all weekend fucking him from your memories until all you know is me."
The distinct sound of fabric tearing hit your ears, your breasts spilling free from the ruined shirt. “What are you-”
“You were soaked the moment you saw me. Don’t deny it,” he snarled, your panties joining the torn shirt on the floor.
You felt his hunger and it fueled your own. His need filled your mind until it was all that you felt. It was manipulative. It was euphoric. The desire that only a soulmate could fulfill.
“He’s gone, but I’m here. He gave up on you, but you have me.”
His hands explored you as he sought the silken heat of your mouth again. Every touch lit a fire under your skin. You leaned into it, wanting it branded on your skin. Your heart began to piece itself back together as much as you wanted to wallow in the pain.
“Doesn’t it feel good to give in? To know that you have someone who will never let you go?”
“I don’t love you,” you argued as he stripped down. Why weren’t you stopping him? Why did you want to see all of him?
“You’ll learn to love me. Unlike you, I took the time to explore your mind. Because I never left.”
You trembled as you saw his muscles ripple. He really was built like a god. And you knew he was there in your head. He would always be there.
“I love you with everything I have,” he swore, his hands finding your breasts with ease. They ached and swelled as you pushed against his palms. It was like your body wasn’t your own. “And I’m not letting you go.”
Your throat tightened as he took you to the floor, like the bed was too far away. Fighting this bond ruined the life you had. You knew you would never have it back. With Ari hovering over you, you felt ruined all over again because you needed him. You couldn't stop the tears that filled your eyes and you didn't care if they made you look weak. You had never felt so helpless in your life, but he was there to anchor you.
“Do you remember what I said?” he asked as he slapped his hard cock against your pussy. The feel made you jolt. Would he tear you in half with it? As much as you feared the pain, you knew your body would accept him. “You’re going to scream my name when you come on my cock. That’s a fucking promise.”
He surged forward and sheathed you in one, deep thrust. You cried out in protest, even as your body molded to his. He gripped your chin when you tried to look away, making sure your eyes were focused on him.
“Relax, sweetheart. You were made for me.”
His hips rolled once some of the tension left your body, his grip sliding to your neck. Your pulse beat frantically as he surged in and out, feeling him squeeze gently before he let go. Each movement drove out the terrible longing you felt. Your back was likely to be sore later from how he was taking you, but you didn’t care.
“I would have made our first time beautiful if you let me. Gentle. Tender. But you’re fucking stubborn. And this is just as good.”
He pulled back until only the head of his cock was inside you, snapping his hips to bury himself into your wet heat. He repeated the motion as you shouted, a dark smirk on his handsome face. Your arms slipped around his neck, keeping him close as he thrust deep. You shuddered as your eyes rolled back, your hips moving restlessly against his.
"There you go, sweetheart. Your pretty little hole is hungry for my cock. Knew you’d take me so well.”
“Fuck!” you cried, your body humming in undeniable pleasure. You felt him in your heart, mind, body and soul. He was everywhere. You’d never get him out. And, after having a taste, your soul didn’t want to let him go.
“You’re mine, do you understand me?” he grunted as you tried to meet his thrusts.
“Yes,” you moaned, shuddering again. The countless, perfect thrusts had you clenching rhythmically around him. A hand reached up to grab his hair, unsure if you wanted to make him groan in pleasure or pain.
“Say you’re mine,” he growled, licking his thumb before he reached between your bodies. You nearly sobbed when he found your clit. “Say it.”
“I’m yours!” you shouted, seeing him flash a smirk again as he rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves. “Please.”
“Cocky bastard,” you thought.
“Heard that. You know what you need. Just say it.”
“Please, let me come!” you begged, your head falling back as the last word ended on a choked breath.
“Come on my cock and say my name, sweetheart,” he said, pinching your clit.
You screamed his name, nearly sobbed it, as you arched and clutched at him. It was the most powerful orgasm of your life, the aura around Ari exploding in colors you didn’t know existed. Your cunt sucked him in to the point it was almost painful to keep him there, but your body refused to let him go.
“That’s my girl. Fuck, you drenched me. Trying to drown me with your beautiful pussy. Never letting you go.”
You were pliant as you lay there, your body still buzzing as he lost his rhythm and rutted into you. The warm splash on your insides moments later was like the final balm you needed, his moan of pleasure sealing the fate you denied. You were complete. And you knew he was, too.
You shook again as you clung to him, trying to catch your breath. You felt the link from your mind spread everywhere, irrevocably tying the two of you together. The intensity almost smothered you. He rubbed your side soothingly as he kissed over to your ear, panting gently against it. “Who do you belong to?”
“You,” you whispered.
“And I’m yours. Don’t forget that.”
Barely a week. That was all it took to make you forget Luke and wear you down.
Ari studied you later as you slept, smiling to himself as he touched your cheek. He leaned over to check his phone when he knew you wouldn’t stir, dialing one of his contacts. “Where is he?”
“Checked into a hotel. We have eyes on him.”
“Keep it that way,” Ari said, looking down at you again. “Remember, if he comes back this way before we’re gone, kill him and his family.”
“Consider it done. Though I would think the visit we paid him at his office would have been enough to scare him away for good. But, Ari, are you sure you still want him alive?”
Ari smirked a little. “She thinks he gave up on her and he’s going to have to carry that around the rest of his life. Each time he looks at his family, it’ll be a reminder of what he let go of. And he knows she’s really mine because he was too much of a coward to actually fight for her.”
“You really are a cruel bastard.”
“I know, but I warned him. He should have let go when he had the chance,” he chuckled, wrapping a leg around you to keep you close. “And my girl really is special. She’ll adjust.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll make her. She’s my soulmate, after all.”
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