#surprise choke on me fic from steve's pov! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cicimunson · 1 year

Text

Christmas

Author's Note: My comeback is fierce, this fic is long af compared to what I usually write. I couldn't come up with a name. don't judge. Also this is the first time I've kind of drifted back and forth between POVS but I'll try to make it obvious. Steve's POV is in italics.

Story Summary: You and Steve have disliked each other since high school, but after your car breaks down in front of his house on Christmas Eve, the two of you...well, read the story.

Characters: Steve Harrington x Female Reader, OC Vinny the mechanic, nameless family members of the reader.

Warnings: Steve is drinking a bit but NOT drunk, Steve and reader are mean af to each other, angst, bit of fluff, sexual situations included: rough sex, bareback, biting, mentions of blood, spanking, face slapping, choking, degradation, praise, fingering, orgasm denial, too many orgasms, I think that's all but please let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count 7.5k+

Conclusion is up

Steve should be used to being alone for the holidays.

Birthdays, Halloween, even Christmas Eve now. It's not like his parents didn't call and apologize for not being there. It's not like they didn't put overpriced gifts under the tree to make up for it before they left. It's not like Steve was hurt or even surprised when they took off for a tropical vacation five days before Christmas without him.

He tried to convince himself he didn't care as he sat on the couch across from the fireplace, sipping a beer. He told himself he chose to be alone tonight. Nancy had invited him over for Christmas dinner but the thought of seeing the Wheeler family in matching sweaters and all happy like a real family had no appeal to him. The thought of Nancy and Jonathan exchanging gifts and kisses really had no appeal to him.

He's nursing his second beer when there's a knock at the door. He almost thinks he imagined it, it's nearly ten p.m. Surely no carolers are out this late. The knocking comes again, louder this time, and he peels himself off the couch to answer.

He opens the door and frowns.

"Shit, shit, piece of shit!" You bang on your steering wheel in frustration. Your clunker of a car always gives out at the worst times. You're not dressed for the cold weather, having chosen to wear a tight, short red dress to your office Christmas party and your jacket wasn't big enough to keep you warm for the mile walk to your place.

You get out of your car and kick the door shut, trudging through the snow to the first house you see. You go up to the door and knock, shivering as you rub your arms trying to keep warm. No one answers but you see lights inside and a car in the drive, so you knock again.

The door opens and you frown.

"Wrong house, Y/N?" Steve asks, crossing his arms across his chest. No way you showed up on his doorstep on Christmas Eve intentionally, especially not with the way you're dressed. He glances down at your exposed legs, your dress barely covering half your thighs. Surely you weren't this dumb, coming out in the cold in a dress so short and tight he could see your nipples poking through.

You explain through chattering teeth. "M-m-my car broke down in front of y-your house."

Steve sighs. "You need to call someone?"

You nod, shivering as the wind picks up.

He steps aside and motions for you to come in.

"T-thank you."

He nods curtly. "Phone's in the kitchen. To your left."

You go into the kitchen, a little surprised that all that's sitting out is a half-eaten box of pizza. You would have expected the Harringtons to have a whole feast for Christmas.

You call for a tow truck, but of course Vinny says he's gonna be a few hours. The holidays, you can't be mad.

You go back into the living room.

"Get squared away?" Steve asks, tossing another log on the fire.

"I got Vinny coming to tow my car and drop me off at home, said he'd try to be here by midnight."

"Long wait."

"It's Christmas, I expected it. Thanks for letting me use your phone." You head for the door.

"You're gonna wait two hours in the cold?" Steve asks in disbelief.

"I didn’t think-"

"Sit down, dummy, and warm up by the fire."

"I'm fine. I don't want to bother -"

"I said sit." He snaps. "I'm not gonna let you freeze to death, no matter how much we might dislike each other."

You sigh. He's right. As much as you want to get away from him, you'd turn into an ice block sitting outside in your car. Instead you sit in front of the fire, holding out your hands to the flames to warm yourself.

"Thank you." You say softly.

He flops back down on the couch and continues nursing his beer.

You both sit in awkward silence for a bit. Finally you ask: "Your parents already in bed?"

He snorts. "Not here. Went to Florida to beat the cold."

"So you're alone on Christmas Eve?"

He gives you a withering look.

"Sorry. Just making conversation."

"Yeah, we don't have to exchange pleasantries and shit." He shakes his head and sips his beer.

You frown at him and turn back to the fireplace.

"Sit back a little dummy, you'll catch that dress on fire."

I fucking hate him.

"Don't call me that."

"Then don't do dumb shit." He retorts. "I'm not tripping over myself to put you out when you start smoking."

"I wouldn't expect you to do shit for me, Harrington." You snap. "I'm surprised you even let me use your phone."

"You and me both."

"Sorry I'm not throwing myself at your feet with gratitude!"

"Can you shut up? You're killing what little buzz I had going." He snaps.

You both fall silent. You sigh. Your feud with Steve had been going on since freshman year when the two of you were assigned to work together for a science project that was twenty percent of your grade.

Steve hadn't met up with you a single time to work on it. You'd busted your ass on the project and refused to put his name on it with yours. Steve failed the class and had loathed you ever since.

Steve stares at the fire, pretending you aren't sitting in front of it. You two had been in an intense feud since freshman year when he'd overhead you complaining about being partnered with him. He knew he wasn't smart like you, but hearing you and your friends mock him for his low grades had actually hurt his feelings. He had avoided you, taking a failing grade on the assignment so that he didn't have to deal with you judging him and putting him down.

You sigh again, frustrated beyond belief as to how your night is turning out. The office party had been lame, your coworkers sloppy drunk and loud. You didn't want to spend Christmas Eve alone but halfway through the party you'd made up an excuse and left.

"Why are you dressed like that anyways? It's freezing outside. You didn't think to at least wear tights?" He suddenly scolds you.

He's more annoyed with himself than with you if he's being honest. Your body looked amazing in your dress and the twitch he'd felt in his pants when he had opened the front door and saw you standing there had him feeling frustrated.

"I forgot to wear tights. We can't all be as smart as you, Steve." Your voice is dripping with sarcasm and Steve scowls. There you go, making quips about his intelligence.

"For someone that graduated high school with honors, you really are a dumbass." He retorts. "You'd risk freezing to death just to look hot?"

You blink up at him, surprised. "I look hot?"

Steve blushes slightly, realizing what he let slip. "As hot as someone like you could look, which isn't much."

Your face falls and Steve immediately feels guilty. You rise to your feet.

"I think I'll take my chances waiting in my car."

"Don't be stupid." He starts to protest, but you're heading for the door. "Y/N, come on, I didn't mean it."

You ignore him and slam the door behind you.

Steve contemplates going after you, dragging you back inside. Your scrap of a dress wasn't going to help you against the cold at all.

Not my problem. He tells himself.

He sips his beer and sighs, the loneliness creeping back up to taunt him. He finds his thoughts turning back to you, you and that tight fucking dress. He palms himself without even realizing it. What the hell were you doing showing up at his house in the middle of the night dressed like that? And then you chose to be rude after he was gracious enough to let you come inside?

He stands up and grabs his coat, hellbent on giving you a piece of his mind.

You make your way back to your car, yanking on the door handle. It doesn't open. You fight the urge to scream when you realize you locked your keys inside.

Fantastic. Fucking fantastic.

You wrap your arms around yourself and try to stop shivering, cursing yourself for dressing so skimpy tonight.

I hope I freeze and they charge that asshole for contributing to my death. Smug pretty bastard.

You kick your wheel in frustration.

Who the hell does he think he is, talking to me like that? And he chose to be rude when I was trying to be gracious?

Your temper flares. You start to march back to his front door, hellbent on giving him a piece of your mind.

To your surprise, the door flings open and Steve comes charging out of his house. You both start speaking at the same time.

"Listen here you prick-"

"Alright dummy, listen up-"

You both stop and glare at each other, tension rising.

I want to hit him. I should smack him in the damn mouth. That fucking mouth of his.

You stare each other down, chests heaving, angry expressions, both waiting for the other to do something. To yell, to swing, anything. You tense up, expecting him to lash out at any second. Whatever he can dish out, you're ready for it.

What you aren't ready for, however, is Steve Harrington jerking you to him by your thin jacket and crashing his lips into yours.

You're stunned. He's kissing you roughly, teeth biting your bottom lip, tongue sweeping inside before you can react. You bring up your hands to his chest and push him away, hard.

Steve stumbles back a step, eyes widening.

"Y/N, I-"

"What the fuck, Harrington?"

Has he lost his mind? Have I lost mine?

He looks just as shocked as you do, mouth hanging open, hand on his chest.

You realize you can't stop staring at his lips.

I want more. I want to taste him again.

You close off the space between you and fist his jacket, jerking him downward.

"What the fuck, Harrington." You repeat, but there's no malice behind your words.

He stares down at you, his expression darkening. You reach a hand up and tangle it in the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging slightly.

He groans and reclaims your mouth. The kiss isn't as rough this time, but still hard and frantic, almost needy. He starts tugging you towards the house, almost slipping on a patch of ice, his lips never leaving yours.

He pulls you inside and slams the door, yanking your coat off your shoulders. He walks you backwards toward the fireplace as his tongue slips into your mouth and he snags a blanket off the back of the couch.

Steve breaks the kiss long enough to spread the blanket out in front of the fire, then yanks you flush against him.

You gasp as his hands reach under your dress. He grazes his fingers lightly over your clothed pussy, then slips his thumbs in your waistband and snatches your panties down, dropping to his knees.

His arm locks around your waist and he pulls you to the floor, laying you down on the blanket before pushing your dress up.

He unzips his pants and shoves them down to his knees with his underwear, then wraps his hands around your thighs and yanks you to him.

"Clean?" He asks, looking feral.

You nod, your words stuck in your throat.

"Safe?'

You nod again.

He holds out his hand in front of you.

"Spit."

You spit in his open palm.

Steve spits too, then coats his cock with your mixed saliva.

He lines up with you and pushes inside.

You cry out. You were a little wet from kissing and the spit helps, but it's not nearly enough to prepare you to accommodate his length.

He chuckles as you groan. "Too much for you, dummy? You can always tap out."

"Are you even in yet?" You retort and Steve lands a light slap on your cheek.

"You're moaning like a whore so you must be feeling something." He taunts, pushing in deeper.

"All I'm feeling is disgust that I'm letting you between my legs."

"Of course you are, you're such a pretty fucking whore, aren't you?" He reaches between the two of you and rubs your clit.

You moan again, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Steve leans down and kisses you roughly, then peppers bruising kisses down your jaw. He bites your neck and you yelp, shoving his face away.

"Don't leave marks on me."

"I'm do what the fuck I want." He growls, yanking your dress over your head. "No bra?"

You blush, crossing your arms over your chest, which makes no sense because he's already inside you but you do it anyway.

Steve laughs mockingly, tugging your arms away. He bites down on you tit so hard you yelp, grabbing his hair and yanking.

"Fucking prick!" You hiss.

He bites down again, his hand returning to your clit.

"Steve, fuck!" You arch your hips as he bottoms out in you and starts fucking you hard.

"Take it. Take this dick." He groans.

"Not much to take-"

He shoves his fingers in his mouth and makes you gag.

"Shut the fuck up." He snarls. "Or I'll choke you with my cock next."

You bite his hand and it only seems to excite him, he moans and sticks his fingers further down your throat. You gag again and he chuckles.

"Dummy can't even suck fingers properly."

You bite again, harder this time and he snatches his hand from your mouth to smack you.

"Bite me again and I swear I'll bite back till you bleed." He warns.

You squirm, his words having the opposite effect he intended. He notices and cocks an eyebrow.

"Thought you didn't like being bitten."

"I said no marks. Visible ones."

"Then fucking come here." He slips out and rocks backwards on his ass, then yanks you so that you're sitting in his lap straddling him, before shoving himself back inside you and biting your shoulder.

"Bleed for me." He groans into your skin.

"Fuck, Steve." You whisper, squeezing him tighter with your thighs as you start to ride.

He bites and laps with his tongue at your shoulders, your tits, anywhere he knows you can cover up. You're gonna be a walking bruise tomorrow but the pain is so delicious you wouldn't dream of telling him to stop.

"I'm so close." You whisper.

"Already?" He teases. "Come on dummy, show me how you cum."

"Stop calling me names, you fucking prick!" You choke out, your body starting to tighten with anticipation of what's building up inside you.

"Whore. Slut. Bitch." He cups your chin and forces you to look at him. "Fucking dummy."

You cum hard, soaking his cock. You wail and bite down on his neck, your whole body spasming as you ride out your orgasm. It's so intense you almost fall off his lap, and Steve digs his fingers into your waist to hold you steady.

Steve makes a disapproving sound. "Didn't last long, did you? And look at the mess you made." He gestures to his cock. "So naughty."

You whine, overstimulated now that you've cum. He chuckles and rolls his hips, hitting that sweet spot inside you again.

"Steve, oh God."

"Knew you'd break first. Going soft on me now that I made you cum, slut?"

You slap him and he grins. "I wouldn't go soft for you if you begged me." You hiss.

"We'll see about that."

He picks up the pace, determined to make you cum again, to see you fall apart on his cock one more time. He'd never tell you, but you look so beautiful right now, skin flushed and glistening with sweat, lips swollen from his kisses, your eyes dark and pupils blown with lust. You were stunning, he realized. How he hadn't noticed it before tonight, he had no idea.

You moan as Steve locks his arms around your waist, lifting his hips and fucking himself up into you. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, the expression on his face practically feral as he looks up at you. He was gorgeous like this, you couldn't deny it.

Your eyes stayed glued to his mouth, wanting to bite his bottom lip yourself. Wanting to kiss him until you were both breathless and whimpering.

Steve locks eyes with you. He smirks, but there's no malice behind it. He shifts and rolls you onto your back, driving his cock deep.

Your breath hitches. His hand loops under your armpits and grip your shoulders, his chest pressed against your tits as he thrusts harder, faster, groaning and grunting. At one point you think he moans your name but surely you misheard him.

Steve's trying to hold off, trying not to cum just yet even though you already got off, but the way you're looking at him, the way you clench around him, he's not going to be able to hold out much longer. You're perfect, so goddamn perfect, your tits, your lips, the way you're spreading your legs so eagerly for him.

"Baby…" He moans and your eyes widen. "Y/N, baby."

"So good." You whisper. "You feel so good, Steve."

He kisses you, still rough and demanding, but there's an urgency underneath. He needs to kiss you, needs to suck your tongue and catch your breathy sighs in his mouth.

"I'm close again." You groan, your body tightening once more, almost to the point of pain.

"Cum for me." He mumbles, his tone almost pleading. "Soak me again, Y/N, come on, come on, baby."

You cry out his name, that coil that was winding up so tightly inside you finally snapping and releasing. Steve groans as your nails sink into his back, hoping it leaves marks that sting for days, so when he jerks off thinking about this night he'll still be able to feel some of the pain.

"Steve! Fuck! Fuck!" You gasp, rocking your hips against him frantically.

"That's it baby, let me hear you."

You let out a garbled sound that's something between a scream and sob, your body slumping back on the blanket.

Steve stops pumping. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, keep going. I'm good." You reach up and push his hair off his forehead.

"You sure?"

"Who's going soft now, Stevie?" You tease.

"You're the one laying there all fucked out on my dick." He retorts, suppressing a smile.

You clench around him and his breath catches.

"Don't think just because I need a minute to recuperate that I can't keep rocking your world, Harrington."

"Yeah?" He thrusts hard, making you whimper. Your pussy is so overstimulated that even pleasure hurts, but you aren't gonna give him the satisfaction of knowing he's made you so fucking achy and sore.

You clench again and he grunts, slapping your tit.

"Oh, you ass." You groan, your nipple stinging from the blow.

His hand snakes around your throat. "Didn't we agree, no more name-calling?"

"I didn't agree to anything. You're still a prick."

"And you're still a dumb slut."

"You talk too much."

His hand around your throat tightens. "So do you. But I know how to shut you up."

He keeps his grip around your neck as he resumes fucking you, long, deep, strokes that have you wet and throbbing all over again.

He pulls out and flips you on your stomach, barely giving you time to scramble to your hands and knees before he's slamming back inside you, his hand coming down hard on your ass.

"Take this dick." He groans. "Fuck, Y/N, take it."

You fuck yourself back on his cock, crying out as his slaps your ass again, the sting almost making you tear up.

"Damn it, that hurts." You groan.

"Shut up and take it." He hits you again and again, his strokes becoming more frantic and sloppy.

You grit your teeth and take his blows as long as you can, but one particular slap catches you so roughly your knees buckle.

"Steve, no more!" You whimper.

He stops, his hands coming up to grab your waist and pull you back further on him.

"I'm gonna cum." He grunts. "Gonna fill you up, slut."

"Oh fuck."

"Beg for it."

You aren't sure you heard him right.

"What?"

"Beg for to cum in you."

"Oh, fuck off." You retort.

He jerks your hair so hard your hands come out from under you. You land face first on the blanket, turning your head to the side to breathe. You try to lift back up but Steve pushes on your back, keeping you pinned.

"Beg, dummy, if you even know how."

"Fuck you."

"I'll hold off, Y/N. I'll fuck you for hours until you're raw and begging me to stop, don't think I can't. Now, beg me."

You have no doubt he can do it. And as much as you love pissing him off and defying him, your sore pussy can't handle much more. You hold off a few more minutes, then finally give in.

"Cum in me." You whisper.

"Louder, don't think you're gonna get away with that. And I didn't hear please."

"Please cum in me."

"Again." He speeds up and you cry out, your body starting to tighten up once more.

"Steve! Please!"

He reaches under you and rubs your clit.

"No, fuck, Steve, I can't!"

"You can and you will. Now, beg!"

"Cum in me, fuck, please, Steve, cum in me!"

"You first." He groans. "Again, Y/N."

"I can't, oh fuck, oh please." You babble, trying to push his hand away from your clit.

He keeps rubbing, ignoring your nails digging into his wrist.

"One more time, baby, you can do it. Cum pretty for me, yeah? Make me happy."

Oh fuck, not praise.

Of course he waited till the end to start praising you. Steve wasn't an idiot, he saw the way you lit up in school when you got an award, had a teacher call you out by name for doing a good job. Of course you had praise kink.

"Come on pretty girl, you've done so good for me. Cum for me, you've earned it. Let go."

You sob his name, your eyes rolling back in your head as your body convulses. You lose your balance on your knees but Steve holds you against him easily, grunting loudly as he pumps his load into you.

Rope after rope shoots off inside you and he wonders briefly if he'll ever stop cumming, because fuck, he hasn't exploded like this since he was a teenager.

After a minute or two he gently eases himself out of you and lays by your side. Normally when he's fucked a girl he'll hold her close and tell her how good she was, how sweet and perfect she is, but with you he isn't sure if he should. You probably wouldn't like it, right?

You can barely hold your eyes open. You'd been up all day as it was and now Steve has fucked you so good that all your muscles ached. You will yourself to get up and start hunting for your clothes, but you can't summon the strength to lift your head, much less anything else.

You hear Steve ask you something, hell, probably telling you to get out of his house, but you fall asleep before you can respond.

Steve asks again if you're okay, frowning when you don't answer. Are you seriously ignoring him right now, after what just happened? He sits up and looks at you.

Oh. You're asleep. He automatically grabs another blanket and covers your body, debating on what to do. Should he wake you so you can leave? Carry you his bedroom and let you sleep? Leave you here by the fire and go sleep in his room alone?

He's still weighing his options when there's a knock at the door. He glances at the clock. Little after midnight, must be the tow guy.

He tugs on his pants and answers the door.

"Y/N here?"

"She's asleep. I don't know if-"

"I told her I'd tow her car and give her a ride."

"Right, um, I don't know where her keys are or-"

"She locked them in her car. She does every time it breaks down."

Steve frowns. "Her car breaks down a lot?"

"At least once a month. I keep telling her she needs a new battery."

"Can't you replace it?"

He shrugs. "She says no. None of my business why, but I figure it's a little out of her price range."

Steve glances behind him to where you're sleeping. Even resting you look worried, the frown lines between your eyes furrowed and your jaw slightly clenched.

"Can you just fix it and bill me for it?"

"Sure, but tomorrow's Christmas and I-"

"I'll pay double. And throw in a big tip for your trouble."

Vinny hesitates, then nods. "Y'all swing by around noon tomorrow, I'll have it ready for her."

"Thank you."

"No problem, thank you. Have a good night."

Steve nods and shuts the door. He adds another log to the fire, tiptoeing so he doesn't wake you. After a minute of debate he slides under the blanket beside you.

He's asleep within minutes.

You open your eyes and stretch, sitting up to look around. You briefly panic when you don't recognize your surroundings, almost jumping out of your skin when you notice the sleeping form beside you.

Oh God. I fucked Steve Harrington last night.

You groan out loud and he stirs, propping up on his elbow.

"Hi."

"Uh, hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. You?"

"Good."

The awkwardness between you can't be looked over, and to your surprise, a giggle escapes your mouth. Steve gives you an amused expression, letting out a chuckle himself.

You realize the sun is up. "Oh fuck, my car!"

"It's fine. The tow guy was smart enough to come to the door, he said we can pick your car up at noon."

"He's gonna fix it on Christmas? Must be feeling the holiday spirit."

"Would you like coffee? Or a shower?" Steve quickly changes the subject.

"Oh, um, yeah, a shower would be great, thanks."

You stand up, wrapping the blanket around you and scooping up your panties and dress from their discarded spots on the floor. Steve leads you to the bathroom, explains which one is hot water, and leaves you to it.

You're both relieved and disappointed that he didn't ask to join you. You wash quickly, wincing when your hands run over your chest and between your legs.

You wipe the mirror off when you step out of the tub, grimacing when you see yourself. The bites and hickeys on your shoulders and tits are red and purple, one small bite on your neck. Your ass is bruised too, you observe as you do a complete turn, and your hips and waist have fingerprint marks.

What a fucking night.

You dress and follow the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Steve pours you a cup and pushes it across the table to you as you sit down. The wince as your ass touches the seat doesn't go unnoticed by Steve, and he makes no effort to hide the smugness on his face.

"Sorry there's no cream or sugar. Haven't shopped in a bit. If you're hungry I might could fry an egg but-"

"I don't usually eat in the mornings. But thanks." You reply, sipping your coffee. You try not to gag at the strong bitter flavor.

"You slept a long time. We gotta pick up your car in just a bit."

"You don't mind giving me a ride?"

"You didn't mind giving me one." He quips without thinking.

You frown slightly.

"Sorry. That was crass."

"Yeah."

There's an awkward silence for a bit, you struggling to choke down Steve's coffee, him trying to come up with something to say.

"Should, uh, should we talk about last night?" He finally asks.

"I don't think there's anything that needs to be said, do you?"

"I mean-"

"It was fun. We had fun."

"Yeah, sure." He agrees quickly.

More awkward silence. Steve leaves the room and comes back fully dressed, thank God. You'd been having a hard time not staring at his bare chest sprinkled with your bites marks and scratches.

"You ready to go?"

"Mhmm, sure."

You follow Steve to his car. He opens the passenger door and helps you inside, ever the gentleman.

He gets in the driver's seat.

"Vinny's shop is-"

"I know where it is."

He starts the car and you chuckle lightly as Christmas music starts playing softly through the speakers. Of course Steve Harrington likes Christmas music.

You sit in silence until you pull up in front of the shop. Steve puts the car in park.

"Um, so, thanks for the ride."

"You too." He replies with a cheeky grin.

You blush slightly. "Steve."

"Merry Christmas." He says simply, reaching across and opening your door.

"You too."

You get out of the car and hurry inside the shop. Vinny greets you warmly and hands you your keys.

"Glad you finally got this clunker fixed, Y/N. I mean don't get me wrong, good for business having repeat customers, but I worried about you being stuck out in the cold in the middle of nowhere. Not safe for a young girl."

"Did you say you fixed my car? As in-"

"Replaced that damn battery."

You fight the urge to panic. "Um, Vinny, I didn't tell you to do that. I can’t afford that!" You were barely scraping by to pay student loans and rent right now. You couldn't afford a new bill.

"Your boyfriend said he was taking care of it. Didn't he tell you?"

"My boyfriend? What are you…Steve??"

"Whoever's house you were at last night. I assumed boyfriend."

"He said he's gonna pay for my car repairs?"

"Sure did, offered double. Now normally I get payment up front, but that family is well off and his mother is well-respected so I know I'll get paid."

"I, uh-"

"Good on you girl, bagging a Harrington. They'll have you driving one of their fancy cars in no time, I'm sure."

You don't respond and Vinny pats your shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Y/N. Now, get outta my shop. I wanna go eat some turkey."

You leave, still absorbing what Vinny had said.

Steve offered to pay for my car repairs? Sure, he can afford it, but why would he do that?

You're lost in thought as you drive home, suddenly realizing you're passing by the Harrington house. You pull to the curb and park, marching up to the door and knocking.

Steve answers, shirtless again, hair still damp from a shower. He frowns when he sees you.

"Don't tell me that your car broke down again?"

"Why would it? It's got a brand-new battery, thanks to you."

"You don't sound happy about it."

"Why would you pay for my car repairs?"

"Well it's a shit car and the tow guy said it keeps dying on you. Why not?"

"You aren't serious."

"It's no big deal. I can afford it and now you won't be stranded anymore. You could have froze to death last night."

"Not the point!"

"Why are you being ungrateful? I did you a favor!"

You sigh. He's right. I sound like such a bitch.

"I'm sorry. It was very sweet. Just very unexpected. I'll pay you back. It may have to be on payments but-"

"Consider it a Christmas present or something. You don't have to pay me back."

"It's a lot of money, Steve."

"Honestly at this point hearing you actually say thank you would be more than enough to repay me."

You force a smile begrudgingly. "Thank you, Steve, truly."

"You're welcome."

You both stand there staring at each other awkwardly.

"Did you, uh, wanna come in?" Steve asks, hating the way his voice sounds almost hopeful.

"Hmm? Oh, no, thanks. I've gotta get home and start cooking. My family has a big dinner on Christmas."

"Oh, well, have a good time with your family." Steve replies.

You realize that he probably has no Christmas plans and mentally kick yourself for bringing up yours.

"See ya." Steve says with a little wave.

You turn to leave. Invite him to dinner, it's the least you can do.

"Do you wanna come?" You blurt.

Steve pauses, hand on the door. "Um, I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean last night was great and all but I think a repeat would be-"

"Wait, what?" You cut him off, bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

"You asked if I want to cum and I just-"

"Come to Christmas dinner, Steve! I mean do you want to come to dinner!" You blush scarlet and so does he.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I completely misread that." He apologizes, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'd say so."

"Sorry, sorry." He repeats. "Uh, what were you saying about Christmas dinner?"

"I was asking if you wanna come- would you like to have Christmas dinner with me and my family?"

"Oh, uh, that's sweet of you, but-"

"Think of it as a thank you for my car. You should join us, really."

"You sure?"

"Yes. You know where my parents live, right?"

"Doesn't everybody know where everybody lives in this town?"

"Good point. We usually eat around five, if you decide to join us."

"Okay. Thanks." He starts to shut the door.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

You close off the space between you and peck his cheek. "I really hope you'll show."

Steve watches you hurry back to your car, his hand drifting up to touch his face. Your lips had been cold, so why was warmth spreading from his cheek through his body?

That evening you're surrounded by family and friends, helping serve food and chase the kids away from the desserts.

You're so busy you don't even hear the doorbell ring. Your uncle calls out in a booming voice from the living room.

"Y/N, a boy's here for you!"

You swat away a little hand trying to stick dirty fingers in a pie and hurry out of the kitchen.

Steve is standing by the door, holding a poinsettia plant and a bottle of wine. His red and green sweater is hideous and bright, making you giggle softly.

"Hi, Steve."

"Hi. You said five, right?"

"I did. Come on in."

You introduce him quickly to your hoard of a family who swarm and ask all kinds of questions. Steve is polite and charming, instantly dazzling your aunts with his smile and impressing your uncles with his knowledge of sports. You catch his gaze every so often and offer an apologetic smile, to which he shrugs his shoulders and smiles back.

Dinner is finally ready and everyone gathers around the table. Plates are passed, cups are filled and everyone chatters excitedly.

Steve bumps your arm with his slightly and leans into your ear. "Your family seems really nice."

"Only in small doses. We're all ready to kill each other by New Year's."

Everyone eats and talks, dessert gets passed, and you manage to wrangle Steve from your family so you two can go for a walk.

As soon as you're outside, you apologize. "I should have warned you that they're so…much. Honestly, I didn't think you'd come."

"You saw my kitchen, you really think I was gonna pass up a free meal in favor of leftover pizza and cheap beer?"

"Good point."

To your surprise, and maybe his too judging from his expression, Steve slips an arm over your shoulders. "Cold." He explains, but honestly he's never felt warmer.

You nod. "Can't wait for the snow to melt away."

"Really? I love it."

"I had you pegged for a summer lover."

Oh for sure, can't beat the heat. But the snow is just something else. Beautiful."

You find yourself smiling up at him. "Yeah. It is."

"Wow, something we agree on." He quips. "I never would have thought."

"I'm sure we agree on a lot of things. Just neither of us would ever want to admit it."

"I know one thing we seemed to agree on."

You blush slightly. "Steve."

"I'm just saying, we were definitely in agreement last night."

"Were we? I seem to recall a lot of bickering and name calling." You tease.

"Foreplay, baby." He wiggles his eyebrows and you laugh.

"You're an idiot, Steve Harrington."

He grins. He’d heard those words several times from several people, but for some reason hearing them from you didn’t sting. He could hear the warmth behind them and it made him feel lighter than air.

You two make your way back to your house, the sun starting to go down and the wind picking up.

"You coming back inside?"

"Actually I'm gonna head home before it gets too dark. Tell your family I appreciated their hospitality, truly."

"They certainly liked you."

"Maybe too much. Pretty sure one of your aunts slipped me her number."

"Oh, I'm sure she did."

Steve hesitates, then closes off the space between the two of you and wraps his arms around you.

Maybe he meant it to be a quick friendly hug. Maybe it was a way of thanking you for inviting him to dinner so he wouldn't be alone.

But somewhere in between hugging and pulling apart, his mouth finds yours.

You gasp softly and he cups your cheek, stroking it with his thumb as he gently deepens the kiss, his other hand resting on your lower back.

You moan softly, parting your lips for him, and his tongue sweeps inside, brushing yours.

There's a whoop from the front door and the two of you jump apart, you turning to glare at your nosy cousins who'd stuck their heads outside.

Steve chuckles. "Guess that's my cue. Goodnight, Y/N."

"Goodnight, Steve."

He jogs to his car, hesitating before getting inside. "Hey, Y/N, you got plans after this?"

You shake your head. "No, why?"

"Just thinking, if you get cold tonight, you know where I'll be." He winks and gets in his car.

You watch him drive off before going back inside to your family.

They gush over Steve, how handsome he is, how charming he was. You nod and smile, your mind replaying his words over and over.

If you get cold tonight, you'll know where I'll be.

You make up an excuse and skip out of the family festivities early, driving straight to Steve's.

He's got the door open before you're even all the way up the walk.

"Get in here and lose the clothes." He orders.

"Don't tell me what to do." You retort.

He groans and reaches out, snagging you by the back of the neck. "Shut the fuck up."

"Make me."

"You goddamn brat." He growls, and his lips are on yours and he's slamming the door shut behind you.

Clothes are shed in mere seconds, and then he's got you bent over the couch, slamming into you.

"Couldn't stay away, huh? Such a greedy whore." He taunts.

"I could always leave." You retort, moaning as he drives deeper into you.

"I'll never let you go." He groans, landing a loud slap on your ass, and you know that he's just rambling, saying whatever he can to make himself feel in control, but your heart does a little flip-flop in your chest.

He reaches around and rubs your clit. "Come on whore, cum on my cock."

"Make me." You grunt, rolling your hips frantically. "Come on Steve, make me."

He slaps your ass again, his fingers working your clit furiously. "Cum for me baby, soak me cock, come on, wanna see it, Y/N, fuck, cum." He mumbles, biting down on your shoulder.

"I'm so close." You groan, your body tightening. You grip the arm of the couch, hoping you don't hit the floor when you cum.

"That's it baby, so fucking pretty when you cum, God, so sexy, cum for me." He rambles, lost in how good you feel clenching around him.

Your orgasm hits you so intensely that you choke back sobs. It's like white lightning and pure pleasure and also pain because God, pleasure like this has to be just a little bit painful, doesn’t it? Steve cries out your name, shooting rope after rope inside you, holding you tight against him.

You start to slump but he catches you easily, dropping to the couch and pulling you into his lap.

"I got you pretty girl." He murmurs, his lips touching your temple. "Wore you out, didn't I?"

"Don't sound so smug." You push at his chest playfully. Steve catches your hand and kisses your knuckles, then tucks it back against his chest.

"Ugh, don't be sweet."

He bites your ear. "Shut the fuck up, I'll be sweet if I want to."

"Ew. No." You tease, giggling.

He fists your hair and jerks your hair back, planting a noisy kiss on your lips.

"I'll throw up right here." You roll your eyes and make a gagging noise.

Steve slips a hand between your legs, fingers brushing your over sensitized clit, making you hiss and whimper.

"I could be mean. I could play with your pretty pussy until it's so sore you can't walk tomorrow."

"Please?" You whisper, parting your thighs further for him. You can feel his cock already stirring beneath you.

"Tell me you're my good girl."

"Oh, fuck you."

He pushes a finger inside you. "Tell me. Tell me and I'll pleasure you all night long."

"That's blackmail." You retort, trying not to moan and arch your hips.

"Mhmm. Be my good girl."

He sucks a nipple between his teeth, biting hard.

"Fuck…"

"We can. As soon as you say it." He adds another finger, his thumb pressing on your clit.

You feel yourself getting close again. "Steve, oh fuck yes."

He smirks and starts to pull his hand away.

"Prick." You grab his hand, trying to keep it between your legs.

"Come on, Y/N, admit it. You wanna be my good girl so bad."

"I'll choke first."

"On my cock, maybe." He starts fingering you again. "Say it."

You groan and rub against him, your hips jerking. Steve continues till you're right at the edge of your orgasm, then pulls away once more.

"Steve!"

He kisses you roughly, his fingers moving once more, curling against your g-spot.

Your body aches, the need to cum again so severe it's borderline painful.

"Please!" You whine.

"Tell me."

You bury your head in your shoulder. "I'm your good girl, please, please, I'm your good girl!"

He pulls you so you're straddling him and slips back into you.

"Steve!" You wail, your nails digging into his back.

"That's my good girl, say my name." He growls, his hips snapping upward, teeth against your throat. "Who's fucking you?"

"Steve, oh god."

"Whose good girl are you?"

"Yours, fuck, I'm gonna cum again, Steve, gonna cum!"

He grinds his palm against your clit, making you cry out. You wrap your hand around his wrist, bouncing faster on his cock.

"Cum baby, soak me, soaking my fucking lap." He urges. "Make a mess baby, God, making me such a fucking mess."

You scream. You try to stop but you literally fucking scream as you cum again. You feel a gush of wetness between your legs and can't even stop yelling to see what happened.

You realize Steve is yelling too, his hips flexed off the couch, driving deep inside you as he cums again.

You slump against his chest, whimpering softly. Steve strokes your hair, panting heavily.

A few minutes of silence pass. Your heart rate slows and you catch your breath. Steve is staring at the fireplace, looking lost in thought as he absent-mindedly runs his fingers up and down your back.

"Do you mind if I shower before I leave?"

He shakes his head. "Spend the night."

"I can't. I always meet my cousins for brunch the day after Christmas, family tradition."

He looks disappointed but masks it quickly. "Oh, nice."

"I mean, I could stay, I'd just have to get up super early so I could run home and change-"

He cuts you off. "Nah, we've had enough fun for one night. Don't worry about it."

His words sting. Enough fun? Wow.

You get off his lap and collect your discarded clothes before disappearing into the bathroom. Once again, Steve doesn't join you. You shower quickly and redress, coming into the living room.

Steve's snoring on the couch, still naked. You toss a blanket over his lap and leave, ignoring the voice in your head that says to wake him up and kiss him goodbye.

Tag list: @neewtmas @harrystylesandthegoobs @cancankiki @cal-is-not-on-branding

#steve harrington #steve harrington oneshot #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington ff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve stranger things #steve harrington one shot

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streamafterlaughter · 10 months

Text

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XV: Oh, Sweet Oblivion

summary: being in hawkins brings back some old, long dead routines you both wish you’d forgotten

tags: misunderstandings/miscommunication, implied alcohol abuse towards the end, mentions of violence, nightmares, slow burn, mutual pining, angst, rockstar!eddie x rockstar!gn!reader

a/n: HELLO. this chapter is mostly filler for plot furthering my apologies, i’ve been sooooo stressed with work and just Off my Game, but i’m trying to do better! fic is more than halfway done (i think) so buckle up!

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. Please reblog/comment/tip to support the author

Your POV

You can't tell where you are at first, the darkness suffocates you, but about a hundred yards away, you can see the outline of a figure. It is not human, its limbs are long, spindly branches reaching out towards you. You try to run, but it feels like you’re underwater, wading through the blackness to no avail.

Something rustles behind you, and you turn abruptly, faced with what you’re sure is Eddie. Upon first glance, it is him; his soft brown curls and plush lips, clad in leather and denim head to toe. When you look him in the eyes, though, your heart drops. They are not the warm, wide, chocolate brown ones you drown in. They are black, but not with lust, nor longing, just bitter, unforgiving hatred. This imposter looks right through you, cold and unwavering when you try to snap him out of it.

“Eddie?” You try to call him back to you, but your voice is lost as soon as it leaves your lips. With no word of a response, or even a tell that he’s heard you, this skinwalker posing as Eddie takes another step forward, still not looking at you, but rather through you, focusing beyond where you stand in front of him, hypnotized by some invisible force. Something else is controlling him. “Eddie, I know you’re in there. Can you hear me?”

Before you can react, its hands are around your neck, squeezing hard as it lifts you into the air. You kick at Fake Eddie, swinging your limbs to break his grip on your throat. Behind you, you hear the creature again, louder and deeper now, saying “Finish it, Eddie.”

You try again, using your last breaths to get through to Eddie, the real Eddie, trapped somewhere underneath this monster using him as a puppet. “Eddie,” you gasp, choking on your words, “Please, Eddie. Let go!”

He does not lower you back down, does not come to, realizing what he’s done. This monster snaps your neck, and discards you on the ground.

—

Eddie’s POV

He stirs first, much to Eddie’s own surprise. Next to him, you’re mumbling in your sleep, your expression tense. He catches “Please, Eddie,” but not said with any of the satisfaction he would have liked.

“Hey,” He whispers, shaking you gently. “Y/n, wake up.” A tear streams down your face, your eyes still screwed shut. Eddie feels the sting in his throat when you shake your head, mumbling repeated pleas of mercy until you’re choking, coughing and sputtering, and Eddie goes into panic mode. Eddie rolls you onto your back and straddles you, knowing if you wake up now you’re prone to swinging your limbs at him. He places a hand on either cheek, something he’d discovered you’d found comforting in the past.

Your breathing eventually slows, evening out as your heart rate calms. Your eyes flutter open, and as they adjust to the light, Eddie gives you a soft smile, his hands still on your cheeks.

“Eddie?”

“Good morning, sunshine. Rough night?” He isn’t moving from on top of you, and you don’t protest when he leans in to kiss your forehead. As his lips connect to your skin, someone’s knocking on your door. Before either of you can answer, Steve throws it open.

“Whoa!” He holds his hands up in front of his face, as if to shield his eyes from something far more inappropriate than the scene before him.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie swings himself off of you, flipping his body back onto the bed beside you, crossing his arms. “Y’know, knocking is supposed to be a call and response thing. Like, you knock, and someone says ‘Come in!’ or ‘Not right now!’”

“Sorry, man, I have Managerial Privilege. The knock was a polite warning.”

They bicker, Steve quickly turning to face away from you and Eddie, unable to meet either of your eyes. “God, that was fuckin’ fast!”

“What?” you throw the duvet off your body, and your warmth leaves Eddie’s side as you stand up. “What happened fast?”

“Nothing, just, well, I guess I didn’t expect to see you guys in here, uh, under the covers…” He trails off, gesturing vaguely to where Eddie lay, sprawled out in his parents’ bed, no shirt. It's a compromising position. You’re in Eddie’s shirt and your underwear, a much too familiar sight for Eddie’s very sore eyes.

“Oh. Oh! God, Steve,” You groan, rolling your eyes. “We didn’t…” you pause, trying to remember last night. You turn to him, your eyes filled with fear. “Did we?”

Eddie shakes his head vigorously, blushing at your suggestion. “No, not at all. Nothing like that.”

Relief floods over your features. “Oh, good. Great, thank god!” Your laugh is anxious, and Eddie feels his heart hammer in his chest.

“Oh. Well, good. We’ve got a lot of work to do, cleaning this place up before we go back to Nancy’s. So, rise and shine!” Steve says an awkward goodbye to the two of you, closing the door behind him.

—

Your POV

You turn back to face Eddie, wishing immediately that you hadn’t. His hands are clasped behind his head, looking at you with an unashamed lust in his eyes, a look you’d recognize regardless of the situation. “Quit staring, Munson.”

“Why? ‘Fraid I’ll seduce ya?”

You roll your eyes. “Something like that.” You don’t miss the blush on his cheeks when you answer him. “Get off your ass, we’re the clean-up crew.”

Eddie rolls out of bed, making a show of stretching his arms out wide as he yawns. You find yourself scanning your eyes down his torso. “Would you stop?!”

“Stop what?” He pouts innocently.

“You know what!” You gesture to his body, then to his arms still stretched into the air.

“No,” Eddie drops his arms and takes a step closer to you. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Another step towards you, closing the gap between your bodies. “Why don’t you tell me what I’m doing?” Another step and you’re pressed against the wall, unable to back away any further. You can feel his breath on your face, his eyes boring hungrily into your own. But his eyes aren’t the scary, black holes they were in your nightmare. They’re still the same soft, warm brown, but they’re sparkling with mischief. “Tell me, darlin’, ‘cause I haven’t got a clue what you mean.”

“Stop being so fucking,” you gesture again, hopelessly vague in your request. “Stop being so hot.” You grumble, avoiding watching his face shift from teasing to elated.

“Sorry, can you say that again? Maybe a little louder? I don’t think I heard that right!”

“Oh, you heard me. Now quit it, before I file a complaint!” You cross your arms over your chest, sure he’d be able to see your heart beating out of it like in the cartoons.

He chuckles, enjoying watching you squirm underneath him. “Alright, but just because you asked so sweetly!” Eddie backs away from you, hands raised in surrender. You take the opportunity to charge him, shoving him onto his back, flat on the mattress. It’s your turn to straddle him, pinning him to the bed as you lean over him, an arm on either side of his head. “Shit, Y/n, you’re sending me some mixed signals here!” He laughs nervously, unsure what to do with his hands.

You smirk. “Feels horrible, doesn’t it?” You lean into him, your nose inches from your face. “Thank you.” You whisper, and climb off of his lap, freeing him from your confines. “And I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks, sitting up.

“I woke you.”

“Nah, I was up already. Hard to sleep here, I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re tellin’ me. Haven’t had a nightmare that bad since high school.” You shiver, remembering Eddie’s empty eyes, his pale hands locked around your throat, draining the life from you slowly.

“What were you dreaming about? If you don’t mind my asking. You don’t have to tell me, though.” He pats the mattress next to him, and you take the invitation, sitting with a huff.

“No, it’s okay. It was strange. You had these scary, black eyes. They were empty, like you were soulless. Something was telling you to do it, what you were doing to me,”

He cuts you off, “What was I doing?” You look at him, into his pretty face, etched with nerves.

“You were choking me. You were trying to kill me. You did kill me, actually. I woke up right when my neck snapped.” You stare forward as you remember the dream, a chill running through your blood when he’d grabbed you.

“Christ, Y/n,” He doesn’t continue. He’s averting your eyes as you try to meet his.

“Hey. This isn’t your fault, Eddie. It’s being back here, in Hawkins. Sleeping next to you didn’t cause this, you know that. You’ve seen this before.”

“It’s still scary when it happens.”

You nod. “It is. But you can’t be sulking about it, beating yourself up. There’s no one I’d rather wake up from a nightmare next to.” You lean your head on his shoulder, and he rests his head on top of yours. You stay like that for a bit, just enjoying being near him, until Steve is banging on the door again.

—

Eddie’s POV

“I dunno, man. It wasn’t like the other times, they weren’t waking up.” Eddie shoves another beer can into the overstuffed garbage bag, meanwhile Steve is scrubbing a couch cushion stained with wine.

“They did eventually, right?”

“Well, yeah,” Eddie trails off, kicking a solo cup to the side.

“Look, Ed. It’s not your fault. You need to understand that.”

“But the nightmare was about me, Steve. Not like in high school, when we all had something to blame for this. You’re telling me it’s a coincidence they’re having nightmares again? It’s because I’m here, whether they wanna admit it or not.”

Steve shrugs. “I disagree. However, I’ve learned not to fight you on your delusions. You’ll figure it out on your own, and I can rub it in your face when the time comes.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Eddie shoves Steve, maybe a little too hard, and he shoves right back. Eddie’s ready to pounce again when you and Robin come strutting into the living room. Though you look beautiful, with your hair still messy from sleep, your clothes hanging loosely onto your body, you look exhausted. Your eyelids flutter every few seconds, and you’re stifling yawns as Robin pulls Steve away from Eddie. It aches, for Eddie to see you so tired, especially during what is supposed to be your vacation.

You catch him staring, and you send him as much of a smile as you can muster, but Eddie can’t bring himself to return it. “Backyard is free of any and all paraphernalia.” You turn to Steve, reporting like a loyal boy scout. “Anything else we can help with?” Robin turns to you with a forced smile, unwilling to continue suffering through her hangover.

Steve catches her, rolling his eyes. “ No, thank you. Go back to Nancy’s, clean yourselves up. I, uh, have a surprise.”

Eddie’s eyes widen at the admission. “Oh?”

Steve winces, scratching the back of his head, suddenly shy. “Don’t worry about it now, I’ll be there in a few hours.

Eddie’s chest tightens, and without meaning to he whips his head to look at you. Luckily, you don’t notice his less than subtle reaction, your neck is craned toward the ceiling, your eyes squeezed shut. “Steven, I swear to fucking god,”

“It’s not bad! It’s not finalized yet, I’m obviously not confirming anything until I get your input.”

You groan, and Eddie can’t help but giggle at the all too familiar sound. He’s used to being on the receiving end of that sound, in vastly different situations. Your head snaps back to him, eyes daggering into his own. “What’s so fucking funny?”

His heart hammers. There is no right answer here, and he knows it. “Uh, hm,” he clears his throat, “How you know what he’s gonna say before he even asks.” He shrugs.

You squint at him, waiting for him to break, you know that’s not what he was laughing at. In front of Steve, though, he refuses. Instead he throws you a smirk, daring you to continue. You huff, turning back to look at Steve, a rare victory for Eddie. “Steve,” You turn your attention back to your friend, who’s looking from you to Eddie, confused. “What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing!” He defends, hands raised. “Nothing bad, I’ll tell you later. Go take a nap or something, I’ll be over in a bit. You too, big guy.” Steve shoves Eddie’s shoulder, making him stumble into you. You catch him, shoving him away from you, too harshly in Eddie’s opinion.

Your POV

“What could he possibly have done?” You’re stressed, ranting to Robin and Eddie as you shove your way into Nancy’s house. She’s already made breakfast, and it waits on the table as you stumble over the threshold.

“Morning! Hope you guys are hungry.” She gestures to the buffet of breakfast food, steaming on their individual platters. You pull a chair out, plopping down and plucking pieces of everything onto your plate. Eddie and Robin follow suit, as the rest of your bandmates join the feast.

“What do you think he did?” You inquire, mouth full of pancake.

“Who? What happened?” Sylvie is barely awake, their hair wild and eyes sleepy.

“Steve claims he has a surprise,” Robin fills them in, waving her fork. “Personally, I hope it’s a shopping spree, been dying for some new show outfits.”

You roll your eyes, and turn to the man next to you. Eddie’s staring at the wall,

his once steaming eggs and bacon growing cold. He doesn’t return your glance, though you’re sure he can sense you staring at him. “Eddie?”

He jumps, fork clattering against his plate, jolting the rest of the group’s attention to him.

“Hm, what?” He looks from you, to Robin, to Nancy, to the rest of the table, all trying not to stare at him.

“Do you have any theories? About what Steve could’ve done?”

“Oh,” Eddie shakes his head, as if willing himself to be normal. “Who knows? Probably booked us a show or something. We all know the suits don’t really believe in vacation.” He chuckles, picking at his food before getting up abruptly. “I gotta, uh,” Eddie points vaguely toward the door, pushing himself from the table. He clears his full plate, then stomps out into the front yard.

“What the hell was that?” Nancy asks, her neck craning to look out the window facing the garden.

“Fuck if I know,” You shrug. Eddie’s been weird all morning, and you’ve got a curious itch. Before you can follow him out, though, you watch as Steve approaches him in the front yard, lighting a cigarette as Eddie chiefs his own. You squint, trying to read their lips, maybe Eddie does know something. But why wouldn’t he tell you?

Eddie’s POV

“As in Hideout owner Dan?” Eddie takes another long drag from his cigarette, bouncing his leg nervously.

Steve nods frantically, “He said he wants you to do a show there, both of you,” Steve jerks his head toward the house. “But I can tell him no, just say the word.”

“No, I mean, don’t say no,” Eddie rubs his hand down his face, trying to wipe away his fatigue. “Ask Y/n first, before I ask the guys.”

“Why don’t you ask them?” Steve means to tease, but Eddie grumbles his response. “What was that?”

“I don’t wanna talk to them right now!” Eddie exclaims, suddenly irritated. “And it’s your job as their manager to do it, anyway.”

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” Steve scoffs, throwing his cigarette on the sidewalk, squishing it with his toe before turning to Eddie.

Eddie huffs. “Sorry, nothing. Just,” He heaved out a breath of smoke, blowing it away from where Steve stands. “I’m just on edge being here, I guess. But I wanna do it, of course I wanna play the Hideout again, it’s been years.”

Steve places a comforting hand on Eddie’s shoulder, forcing him to look at his face. “I know. It’s hard for all of us, but it’s something we had to do. Our friends are still here, we’re still alive. This fuckin’ town can’t hurt us anymore, y’know?”

He nods, stubbing out his own cigarette on the concrete wall behind him. “Yeah. That’s true.”

“Alright, I’ll go let Y/n know, hopefully they’re down for it.”

Your POV

“I called it! Didn’t I call it?” You nudge Robin and she nods, her eyes still sleepy. “Steve, you’re so predictable. Of course we’ll do it! I haven’t played the Hideout since that open mic years ago. It’ll be so cool to have people here for us. How do we get the word out?”

“Well, there’s the rub. I was told ‘guerilla marketing’” He throws up air quotes, “is super effective in this type of situation. Fliers, word of mouth.”

“Do we have time for that?”

“Show’s on Friday,”

“This Friday?!” Sylvie squeaks. “That’s in three days!”

“I mean, you guys are huge. Coffin’s huge. You can do this in three days! That’s nothin’!” Steve shoots you an anxious smile. “Right?”

You shrug. “We got what, six kids in college right now? With friends in the area, I hope? I think we could pull it off.” You look to your bandmates, wearing various expressions of anxiety. “We can make some calls, too, I’m sure.”

“Sick, let’s get moving! We can go print some fliers, just need someone to make up a raw version of the poster.”

“I can do that.” Eddie strolls through the doorway, hands on his hips. “Been dying for a reason to draw again. That okay?” He looks at you, waiting for your approval. You nod. “Cool. I’ll plan out a few different ideas by tonight.”

The agreed upon flier is drawn by Eddie, depicting a guitar on fire, with the headline IT’S A SECRET! Find Us at The Hideout, use the code word DANCING COFFIN with Friday’s date. They go up around Hawkins telephone poles, in Family Video, the arcade, even Enzo’s let you hang one in their doorway.

Friday comes more quickly than any of you are ready for, and you spend the whole day picking outfits and putting together a setlist.

“I think you and Eddie should play that song.” Lilith comments, twirling her drumstick. “Like a one night only treat!”

You blow a raspberry, pulling out a pair of platform sandals to pair with the flowy skirt you’ve chosen for tonight. “We haven’t even practiced it recently, there’s no way.”

Lilith shrugs. “Two talented musicians, I feel like you could pull it off.”

“Even if we could, who says I want to?” You turn to face your friends, sitting on the guest bed. “All of this is because of him, as much as I hate admitting it. He’s the reason. Getting on that stage with him will just add to it.”

“You have too much pride, Y/n. And such a weird complex with Eddie, it’s such old news!” Robin exclaims, standing suddenly. “You got here because of your talent. Sure, he might’ve been the inspiration, might have given you a hand in the very beginning, but you’re here because of you, because of us! Rude of you to discredit your band like that.”

Eddie’s POV

“All of this is because of him. He’s the reason…” Eddie walks away before he hears the rest, resisting the urge to put his fist through the wall. I knew it. He thinks, sulking back downstairs. The nightmares, they’re his fault. He’d desperately hoped he’d been wrong, but that’s impossible.

“Hey, you get ‘em?” Steve asks, phone resting between his ear and shoulder. “Car will be here soon.”

“You got us a car? You know we could like, walk, right?”

“Not in that outfit.” Steve eyes his friend, clad in denim and chains with heavy boots despite the heat. “What’s your problem, anyway?”

“Nothin, man. Don’t worry about it.”

Steve shrugs. “Guys! Car’s on its way! Leaving in ten!” He opens the front door, motioning for Eddie to step outside.

The car, that is pretty much a limo, much to Eddie’s distaste, pulls around the back of The Hideout. Show goers cloaked in black outfits smoke cigarettes outside as the muted rhythm of Shadow of the Season hums through the building. You try to send him a smile as you exit the car, but he can’t bring himself to return it, instead shoving by waiting fans and into the club without a word.

He heads straight for the bar, ignoring old classmates and the wannabe groupies as he flags down the bartender. “Whiskey, neat. Please.” He has about five minutes of peace before Steve comes looking for him, and he plans to be obliterated by then.

—

chapter XVI

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orbitariums · 4 years

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𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐦 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝟒)

part three

note - i wanna thank everyone for reading once again! i'm currently in the process of writing imagines, those will be posted throughout the week, i don't want to clog up my blog bc i want y'all to see this chapter!

this one switches pov a lil more frequently, so bear with me <3 also not as smutty as other chapters, this is more of an emotionally-charged chapter!!! still a teensy bit smutty thooo. i want to make it clear that while this fic is definitely rooted in smut & sex & sex work, it is not porn without plot & will not ONLY be smut as i put effort and time into plot development / character development! i'm sure y'all know that tho. there will be conflict, there will be plot!!! i feel like that's clear already but there's discourse on smut happening rn and i wanna voice myself! omg anyways luv y'all enjoy the reaaad <3

new taglist!

playlist

word count - 8.3k

warnings - age gap, sex work, smut, vibrator, ANGSTYYY like hella dramatic, dirty talk

That slight shift that you and Steve both felt, that happiness that you realized came from talking to one another, only lasted so long... for you. You could hardly sit in your feelings about your situation with Steve before another thing that occupied all your time came crashing down upon you. Except this time, the thing brought you no such happiness or curiosity.

You had spent almost your entire senior year working on a special lab project about drought tolerant plants in Southern California where you lived and went to school, and your professor was making completing your project incredibly hard for you. And you felt incredibly stressed out about the entire situation - not only was the project necessary to graduate, but it was your heart and soul for the past year. Now, your professor was basically saying it was "ineligible."

"Ineligible?" Aaliyah repeated after you, after you told her what your professor had said.

"Whatever the hell that means," you huffed as you power walked down the street, hand in hand with Aaliyah, your free hand holding a coffee.

"That's so fucking annoying, holy shit," Aaliyah pressed a hand to her forehead. "He had the whole year to talk to you about changing your topic and...”

"And he never did," you sighed, frowning. You settled down onto a bench where the two of you sat next to each other, staring out into the busy streets and sipping your iced coffees.

California was a beautiful place, and you were a native, you'd lived there all your life. You knew the ins and outs of your city, knew Southern California like it was your backbone. And you loved it here - loved the sun, the beaches, the way the people were either shady in the best way or incredibly friendly. You'd never really known any other place like you knew this place. You were just glad that if you had to be stressed, you could do so in California.

Aaliyah pouted, feeling for you. She placed her hand on your knee to be comforting,

"Babe..."

"It's okay," you sighed. You sucked it up, like always, because you had learned how to fend for yourself ever since you realized that depending on others could only lead to downfall. You would figure this out the same way you figured everything else out... on your own. You figured out your house on your own, your job, your finances.

"Is it, though?" Aaliyah pursed her lips and squinted at you. Despite how much you tried to fend for yourself, Aaliyah was always there for you. She was one of your biggest supporters.

"I'll just keep visiting during his office hours and work this out."

Aaliyah rolled her eyes,

"Men are so annoying, girl. You know what, he probably wants to fuck you. With your fine ass. That's why he's doing all this."

You chuckled, shaking your head and covering your mouth, trilling back in response,

"Okay girl, don't get too ahead of yourself."

"I'm serious! Men are evil. Oh, except your fave."

You made a face, nearly choking on your iced coffee. This was news to you,

"Who are we talking about?"

"You know," Aaliyah sang slightly, nudging you and leaning against your shoulder. "Mr. Won't Show His Face."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, but bit down on your straw with a knowing smile, eyes peeking out over the top of your shades. If you were being honest, this idea of Steve, whoever he really was, had been a fun thing to entertain during this period of stress. You'd been talking and engaging with him for two and a half weeks now, and the connection you two had was undeniable.

But you knew better - maybe he wasn't just another customer, because you could really talk to him and felt like he was real - then again, he was strictly a customer. You liked him, a lot, but you couldn't like him any more than you already did. That would be dangerous and silly, and create unrealistic expectations. It wasn't like you could go on dates or anything.

Still, talking to him (and performing for him) did help to distract you from your stress, at least for a small amount of time. Steve was becoming less shy, less inhibited. He cracked jokes and was starting to keep up with your innate sense of sexuality, starting to navigate you, find you the way a bee might find its nectar, hidden deep inside the curvatures of a flower.

If you were a flower, you'd probably be a sunflower - bright, yellow, almost always in a positive mood, or at least trying to keep yourself in a positive mood. More than that though, sunflowers were tall and looming - you felt like that represented your put togetherness and how hard you worked, how smart you were. Only sometimes it was hard to keep yourself up and tall, but you always did it, time and time again.

But when it came to Aaliyah's comments about Steve, she mostly just made you laugh.

"Haven't seen him yet, have you?" Aaliyah asked, raising her brows expectantly.

"No. And I'm fine with that. He's simply another very loyal customer who I happen to like."

"Hm," Aaliyah hummed, and you could tell her mind was up to something - some very wishful, and mischievous thinking.

"What are you up to?" you narrowed your eyes at her and glared at her, and she just shook her head with a lazy smile,

"Nothing. Just thinking that maybe it would be cool if he really was this really hot guy that you actually knew and he wasn't creepy and y'all... you know... started dating. Just to get your mind off a lot of crap. I know, I know, strictly against the rules, blah blah blah. No feelings for customers, it's basic shit. But in a perfect world..."

"I know," you sighed without thinking, sipping at your drink.

"You know?" Aaliyah questioned, surprised.

You shrugged,

"So I've thought about it. Except, you know, in a perfect world, I'd meet a guy like Steve in like, a farmer's market or something. Not on my shady ass cam shows."

Aaliyah snorted laughing, and at the sound of her laughter, you joined in.

You continued,

"I mean, not Steve exactly, because that would be weird. I just mean, a guy like Steve."

"You mean a guy who makes you feel the same way he makes you feel," Aaliyah corrected you, and you glared at her again, pushing her gently.

"Don't push it," you teased, but you meant it - you might have liked Steve, but that was all there was to it - you liked him, he was a distraction. And maybe even that was too much.

✺ ✺ ✺

As for Steve, he thoroughly enjoyed his time with you. He thought constantly about how you made him feel, how much he looked forward to talking to you. How everyday, his worry about your situation becoming more serious dissipated slowly. He could feel himself easing into you, everything that made up this character you created called Moonrose. Conversation seemed casual, like you knew each other in real life, it felt easy, and there was no pressure.

As for your connection, he had finally acknowledged that it was real, and more than either of you had wanted to realize at first. But now, there was no shame, no worry in acknowledging what the two of you had, because you were both smart enough to keep it at this level. It was like a shallow pool. There would be no drowning.

He mostly talked to Bucky about you when it came to the emotional aspect of it. He still feared that if he talked to Tony, it might come across as an issue, and might put a pause on what he had with you. But everyone noticed how different Steve was acting. Even without the phase he had gone through where he was sexually frustrated and angry, he still acted different.

Lighter on his feet, more smiley. And he was always on top of his work. You weren't distracting him from his duty, so that made the fact that he knew you had a unique connection with him more bearable. Because of you, he was learning to worry less. To have a little more fun.

It was a bright day that week, the sun filtering in through the large windows of the meeting room where everyone was gathered. Steve was engaging in some mindless conversation with Sam and Bucky in which they were debating whether or not pineapple belonged on pizza.

"No. I'm not sure why everyone keeps trying to put all these twists on pizza. It's pizza," Bucky scoffed, Sam rolling his eyes as a result.

"You're just closed off. With your old ass," Sam retorted, and Steve made a face. Sam raised his hands up in surrender. "You know what I mean. What about you Steve?"

Honestly, Steve had never even tried pineapple on pizza and he didn't understand why there was such a big fuss about the banal question.

"I don't really have an opinion," he shrugged, not expecting Sam and Bucky to start clamoring over him and trying to force him to pick a side.

Before he even got to grasp the situation, he felt Natasha patting his shoulder,

"Hey, mind if I use your laptop? Mine's gone haywire, don't really feel like messing with it right now."

"Yeah," Steve agreed without a second thought, setting his laptop on the table and letting Natasha handle it- she was better with tech stuff than he ever was.

Natasha would use his laptop to showcase some data and start off their morning. It seemed innocent enough —a simple, barely impacting sacrifice. But Steve clearly hadn't thought everything through, because the moment Natasha logged in and hooked up Steve's computer to the holographic projector, more than just data appeared on the screen.

In fact, a whole array of women, all of them engaging in various sexual acts or preparing themselves to, showed up on the screen. And at the top, where the browser was, were the words "girlsonfilm.com."

Steve hadn't noticed all the clamor, too busy thinking (thoughts of you and thoughts of work), until Bucky called it to his attention.

"Steve," he nudged him frantically, his voice a loud whisper.

When Steve looked up at the screen, his face couldn't have gone any redder. He hadn't thought about this at all, and he had clearly forgotten to close out his browser. His heart sunk all the way to his stomach - because it wasn't just Natasha seeing this, it was everybody. And that included Tony, who was glaring pointedly at Steve from the head of the table. Meanwhile, all the others were too busy heckling Natasha and making brash comments about what was appearing onscreen. To Steve's relief, your face didn't show up, but this just might have been worse than only your screen appearing.

"Woah, Nat, I didn't know you got down like that!" Sam hooted, cupping his mouth with his hands.

Natasha, though she was in shock as well, rolled her eyes,

"This is Steve's laptop."

Now a hush, then another clamor of confusion and heckling, all directed towards Steve. He couldn't recoil any more, feeling the pangs of embarrassment as his eyes flashed between every one of his teammates. He felt as if there were an asteroid approaching fast, and he was right where it would land, too slow to move out of its way.

"Steve, what do you know about 'girls on film'?" Sam nearly cackled, reading the name of the site.

Steve sighed deeply, locking eyes with Natasha as he mouthed "turn it off" to her.

"I am, I am," she ensured him, quickly disconnecting the laptop from the projection, unplugging completely.

A beat passed, everyone staring expectantly at Steve, who was staring down at the table, trying to process his own thoughts. Like for starters, why didn't he log out the last time, and why didn't he remember to log out? And then his mind went to deeper places. He hadn't been intentionally secretive with his actions, but he had been intentionally private. It had to do with his own growth, he was learning how to navigate a world that was new to him and somehow helping him at once. He didn't want to have to share this with everyone, it was nice having this to himself, he had no intentions of revealing what he had been doing in his past time that made him so happy.

One of the reasons he didn't want everyone to know about his situation was because he didn't want to have to be concerned with what everyone else might think. Because to begin with, being on a site for cam shows wasn't exactly everyone's idea of what Captain America might be up to these days.

It was a matter of his image, what values he was supposed to hold. This didn't exactly match, and Steve had just gotten over the idea that he was a bad, sneaky person because of what he chose to indulge in. At least here he knew it was ethical and not causing harm to you as a human being.

He also didn't want to have to deal with the insufferable questioning and teasing his team would put him through, or the judgment he thought they might put him through. He felt embarrassed, exposed, and like he had been ill prepared for a situation like this. He was just grateful they hadn't seen more, because that would've been a disaster. What they had seen was only at the surface level of what he'd been doing.

But his thinking was interrupted by Tony's voice, which broke through all the silence, and made Steve realize again the eyes that were on him.

"Well, jig's up," Tony sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Care to explain?"

Steve locked eyes with Tony, as if hopeful that he wouldn't have to, but he knew it was best for him to just spit it out. Tony shrugged apologetically, and Steve took in a deep sigh, looking around at everyone at the table.

"What was that?" Scott whimpered, probably the most distraught by what they had all seen.

Steve nodded solemnly and began to explain himself. He would tell the truth, but that didn't mean he had to tell them everything. You would be left out of this, if anything. He'd just explain to them that sometimes, duty calls - and sometimes, it's not at all work-related.

✺ ✺ ✺

It was just hours before your cam show when another disaster struck, the first one being the fact that your professor was giving you shit about your project. You were in the bathroom, getting ready for your show, fixing your hair up and doing your makeup, laying out an outfit, doing all the things you did to feel pretty before a show.

Your phone lay beside you on the bathroom table, pinging with messages every now and then. You ignored it, leaning closer into the mirror to get a look at your lipstick, dabbing your fingers into the pigment on your lips.

You smiled, feeling that gratifying sense of achievement. Despite what was going on with your professor, you felt like you were doing well in life. You usually had a positive mindset, enjoyed your work although you sometimes felt as if you were buried deep in all your occupations: student, office worker, cam girl, designer, young woman. Your life was never dull, and you wouldn't trade it for anything. Talking to Steve helped too, but it was more than that.

But that sense of satisfaction all seemed to dissolve when you looked down at your phone, and saw a text from an unsaved number, glaring bright on your glowing lock screen of you hiking with Aaliyah. Still, you recognized it immediately.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

I miss you. Text me back.

✺ ✺ ✺

Steve wasn't exactly keen on joining your live show today, but he did so anyway, because he still had time to himself despite the spiral of events that had happened earlier. There was nothing else to do, and he didn't want to miss out on you after attending almost all of your shows for the past almost three weeks. Didn't want to just leave unexpectedly.

It felt strange that he felt this tug of commitment, but he brushed it off. He was just fulfilling his needs, which should even be expected of him. He was stressed again, after being caught up like he was. And maybe that was all the more reason not to watch your show tonight, but he wouldn't devoid himself of the simple pleasures of life. He'd learned that lesson a while ago, from a special someone called Moonrose.

After everything transpired, he explained himself calmly to his team, slowly to ensure that they'd understand that this wasn't the beginning of a deviant phase, that he wasn't throwing away his work responsibilities to lurk on the NSFW side of the internet. Not that they ever thought that to begin with, they never questioned his abilities or his authority for a minute, not even in the midst of what they'd seen that had shocked them.

This was the product of Steve's own insecurities and his admittedly silly fear that he was somehow letting his team down. He told them that he was on the site, as recommended by Tony, to relieve some "frustration" that he felt he didn't have the time or the means to release in real life. He said that while it had helped him do that, he wasn't throwing away his responsibilities, nor was he dependent on the site or the things on it, or the people on it for that matter.

He knew that if they knew about you, all those private sessions, all those conversations you'd had, the connection you had built between the two of you, it might be a different story. But because they didn't, they appreciated his honesty. They were confused, it didn't seem like the kind of thing Steve would be into, and he ensured them that it was a shock to him as well.

But they didn't mind on the whole, it was just a shock to everyone at first. They didn't think it called for a meeting, thought it was almost humorous how serious Steve was being about such a trivial situation. Wanda had joked about how we've all been there, Thor denied ever having to do such a thing because: "I have all the romantic partners anyone could ask for. I could introduce you Steve, but these Asgardian women are fiery, far beyond anything I believe you could handle." In the end, Steve was relieved, felt like it didn't have the disastrous outcome he'd been expected.

But he could feel his guard slowly coming back up. That was a close call, and it was a little too close for comfort. He didn't want to disregard you, but he couldn't afford to sink further in, and get his team involved. He just didn't want to face the consequences he could imagine if they knew how much he decided to stick with you, how much you talked, how it was teetering off the range of normal customer to cam girl interaction.

It wasn't like he was careless when it came to his interactions with you, but he also didn't want his team to know about his business when it came to you. He didn't want them thinking he was engaging too much, didn't want it to get to the point where he was worrying again or felt like he needed to deny himself such wonderful feelings.

All these things were on his mind while he waited for your live show to start. When it did, and he saw your face, he felt a little bit alleviated. Just for now, he could have this fantasy to himself. If they knew about the site, so be it. At least he had you to himself.

"Hey guys," you mustered a smile, waving to the camera.

Unbeknownst to your viewers, you had spent the past few hours off camera panicking, on the verge of tears, calling Aaliyah frantically so she could help calm you down. That text from that mysterious unknown number had been from your ex's number. The same ex who made you fall into dependency patterns that you worked so hard to get out of, the one who made you feel like you had to work for his love. Like it wasn't something you deserved, just like anyone else.

You had worked so hard to finally wring out all the effects of him, all the bad habits you had fallen into because of him. That was part of the reason why you worked so hard. Not because you were actively avoiding him specifically, but because you were actively bettering yourself. You weren't looking for a relationship. But you knew that if you were in one now, the same things would never happen to you.

When you got that text, it triggered a flood of memories. Feelings you had to work to suppress and actually get over for months so you wouldn't fall back into the same desperate, needy patterns when it came to your relationships with people. All over a simple text from someone you hadn't heard from in almost a year. It hurt you how easy it was to get you to crack, even if you didn't spill out all the way. But on top of the added stress because of school, you were damn close.

You would do the show tonight, anyway. It helped you to escape, although Moonrose was a part of you, it didn't one hundred translate into real life. So in a way, this helped you escape real life. Just for a while. Just like Steve.

You grinned when you saw concerned comments from your watchers:

johnGuy182

Are you okay, moonrose? You seem a little sad.

zenongirl

Girl r u ok? i missed seeing your face!!!

"Guys, I'm okay," you grinned. And you actually felt better seeing comments from your supporters. It reminded you to cheer up - they were looking for a good show, not a sob story. You leaned back, revealing your stomach in the sheer, sparkly fringed bra you chose to wear (another piece you had designed by yourself). "It's been a looong day."

Steve watched silently, observing your behavior. He didn't notice drastic changes, but you did appear less chipper. Then again, he brushed it off. He didn't expect you to be smiley all the time, you were human too, and this was your work.

"But I'm okay," you reassured, giving that signature grin, genuine and charming and alluring. You were trying to gently distract yourself, get into your act. "I hope you're all just as lovely as I am. I have a special game for you today."

You directed your viewers to your spinning wheel, which you had been working on crafting that week for a game. You grinned as you spinned it. Each act on the wheel cost a certain amount of tokens, and by the end of the game you would garner a bunch of funds. The show went by relatively quickly as you played the game, eventually ending up completely naked.

As ordered by the spinning wheel, you were to use a vibrator. You held it against your clit at the highest setting as you watched the numbers of viewers and the tokens jump up, Steve watching as he stroked himself leisurely. Your legs shook as you restrained yourself from your orgasm so as to increase the length of your showtime, garner more coins to encourage you to come.

"Mm," you moaned, massaging the vibrator against your clit, getting wetter and slicker by the minute, sliding the toy between your folds. You laughed, breathless. "Fuck, this thing is so powerful. Someone make me come, please make me come. Just a few more tokens for me to come for you."

Steve was hesitant, but he decided to go ahead and give you the amount of tokens you needed. And when you heard the chime of the tokens being added to your account, and saw the name it was attached to, it was like a blast of euphoria. When your legs started to shake, when you started to moan and your stomach started to rise up and down, it was genuine. It was like you were back in a private room with him, although you weren't.

Your orgasm was blood-curdling in the best way, and you felt like you were releasing part of the stress of the past day, the past week. It didn't get any realer than this, once again you felt like he was really there to satisfy you.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, your mouth dropping open and your blood flowing, moaning. "Yes, Steve, I'm coming for you. Thank you for making me come, Steve!"

Steve had been stroking himself along with you as he watched, and only let himself come now that you had come, his cheeks heating up as he heard you moan his name, something he hadn't been expected. Something about you saying his name like that where everyone could hear, even though he enjoyed the intimacy of private rooms, felt victorious. It felt lewd, salacious, but he couldn't help but enjoy that aspect of it. He moaned through grit teeth while he came, stroking himself to completion.

You came down, thanking everyone for attending and ending the show. But it wasn't long after that you had requested Steve for a private chat. He accepted, because he had gotten used to you doing this a little more frequently. It didn't scare him any more, he just thought of it as making conversation, taking advantage of this connection you had with each other. So when you requested, who was he to say no.

When the chat log opened, you put on your best happy face for Steve, trying to conceal how fatigued this week, today in particular, had made you. But your tired, bleak voice gave it all away, buried deep beneath your smile,

"Hey, Steve."

Steve was surprised at the sound of your voice. Again, while he understood that you wouldn't be a happy go lucky fairy like personality all the time, he wasn't expecting this. You were smiling, but the weariness in your eyes was hard to miss. And your voice, which usually told light hearted tales, sounded worn down as if from tragedy. He was concerned, his eyebrows furrowed gently,

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm good!" you exclaimed, trying your hardest to really sound "good."

But you were just tired. Tired and sad, and scared - scared of what the future had to hold. You were already dealing with school stress, and the text from your ex-boyfriend was like a bad omen, an anxiety-provoking assurance that things actually would not get better and they would in fact get progressively worse. You weren't even sure why you thought you should be talking to Steve if you were tired and just wanted to sleep off the weight of the week. It would be a weekend tomorrow, and one of your very rare days off.

Maybe you figured that you wanted to talk to him despite your fatigue, because conversation with Steve was a nice distraction. You had let yourself forget that this was still your job, and that you were too tired for anything sexual — you knew he liked talking to you, but you hadn't put into consideration the fact that he might request a sexual act from you. You would be burnt out if he did. The fact that you didn't think about that should've been telling, but your brain was too scattered to think straight.

Anyway, Steve called your bluff, and laughed quietly, his voice inquiring and pressing,

"How are you really?"

That was all it took to get a deep sigh to come from out of you, all it took to allow yourself to show your true feelings, at least the surface of them, what you felt comfortable showing a customer. You felt a sense of relief and gratefulness for Steve, like he was letting you breathe. And if anything, he especially wasn't enlisted to listen to your problems. But he wanted to, and for that you felt foolishly grateful.

Steve noted the deep sigh that came from out of you, and he frowned slightly. He could tell you had been holding this in for a while, and some part of him felt remorse for the fact that even though you clearly weren't in the right mindset, you went on and did your show anyway. He felt some guilt for being a part of the reason why you did your show.

You answered, allowing your voice to be as honest as possible.

"Honestly?" you chuckled a little, albeit bitterly. "I don't know if you really want to hear me rant to you."

Steve shook his head.

"Don't be silly," he grinned. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to."

You felt a warm rush in your chest from the reassurance, and the corner of your lip quirked up in a small smile, before you decided to dive in. You'd spare the emotional details, spare your private life. But it would be nice to talk to someone, just about the general things, right?

"Well, it's been a pretty stressful week, honestly. I mean, school's been the main source of my stress. My professor's such an asshole, he's basically been telling me my entire senior project, which I need to complete to graduate, needs to be redone? And I can't even fathom how I would have enough time to do that with like, two and a half months left of my senior year. I mean, he said I can keep most details, but I'd have to rework it, whatever that means."

You kept your emotions at bay, sighing in annoyance just at the story you told, because it really was irritating you. But then you felt deeper things, even more went into why you really were upset.

Steve nodded, just listening. He was prepared to offer advice, but in your situation, he thought that maybe just letting you rant would be best.

"That's gotta be annoying," he shook his head understandingly. "Whatever your project is, I'm sure it's wonderful. He shouldn't be forcing you to rework it or make any last minute changes."

"I know!" you nearly jumped up, feeling amped up now. "And it's just so fucking annoying because I work so hard and I'm really passionate about this project and it just feels like..."

It felt like you were about to overflow, like a pot of water that had been left on for too long. You were ranting almost uncontrollably now, maybe because of the fact that it was more than this that was tugging at you. Because you'd been carrying the weight of your life on your shoulders all the time, like Atlas carrying the sky, and it felt like that weight was finally starting to mean something.

Steve could see you were unraveling and he let you, he let you take the time you needed to feel everything you had been holding. If your connection was strong, it was at its strongest here. Sure, you and Steve chatted about a little bit of everything, even had deeper conversations here and there as the weeks went by. But you had yet to genuinely complain to him, because every time you spoke with him, you were happy go lucky Moonrose, with nothing to complain about to begin with. But now, you needed a release by any means, and you were just glad Steve was there for you, even if he wasn't really there. How unlike you to unfold in front of strangers.

Your breath stuttered as you took in a deep breath in a failed attempt to calm down, only further driving yourself into your rambling. You felt yourself tear up, your voice becoming watery as you continued,

"It just feels like all my work is turning to shit, and it's so fucking frustrating because I work so hard all the time, I do so much and I manage so much all the time."

The "hard work" you were talking about wasn't just school and work-related, it pertained to your journey, and how hard you had worked to be a better person. To support yourself. The emotions pent up inside of you, they were more than just being upset over a school project. The idea of someone toxic trying to re-enter your life, someone who had forced you to rework the entirety of your life, made you feel like you were on the verge of crashing. You knew better, but you didn't want to return to those dark days, where the light at the end of the winding tunnel that was your relationship seemed so far away. It was why you were so weary of relationships today. It was crazy how one person could change your life so easily.

Now you were crying, before you even noticed that you were crying. Tears just seemed to leak out of your eyes, sloshing wet and sudden against your cheeks and underneath your lashes. You wiped them away quickly with the back of your hand, frazzled at the fact that you were crying in front of a customer right now. Steve said he'd listen to you, he didn't say he'd watch you cry and be your therapist. You instantly regretted it, although you couldn't stop yourself, tears threatening to emerge again. If you were cracked before, you were spilling now.

Steve was surprised too, at the fact that you were crying. You appeared so put together to him, it was almost something he didn't expect from you. He was in shock at first, so much so that professionalism was not on his mind - it was an afterthought. Right now, instead of wondering if this was appropriate, he was occupied with you.

"I'm sorry," you murmured, but you still hadn't stopped, tears falling out as you blinked. Composure was nothing now, you were sobbing, your shoulders slumped and your head hung as you sniffled. Still you enforced control, wiping away every tear that fell with the back of your hand. "I'm really sorry, I don't mean to cry to you over this, that's so-"

Steve cut you off, shaking his head slowly,

"It's okay to cry, doll. We all have those days. I know better than anyone that we all have those days."

You mustered a smile, feeling cared for, feeling accounted for by someone who wasn't even obligated to have to see you like this. Still you shook your head, sniffling,

"I know. But it's-it's stupid, I shouldn't be crying in front of you."

"I'm not judging you," Steve said, so nonchalantly and firmly, so genuine that it almost scared you.

You blinked. He should've cared, and he should've judged you. To cry in front of Steve, a customer, was to imply he had some duty to comfort you when he probably just wanted a show. You knew that you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, but even you had rules when it came to what your customers got to see, and to you, that meant they didn't have to deal with your blues.

"Really?"

"Really," he reassured you with a nod.

Was Steve scared that by giving you this reassurance, this entire situation could become deeper than either of you could handle? Yes. But did he let himself shut down because of those pervasive thoughts that he might get himself into trouble? No. He didn't see you as a liability right now. Right now, even though the situation was certainly questionable (and this was something he had no doubt about. When emotions get into the mix, things could get tricky- he knew this), he saw you as someone who desperately needed someone to talk to. Maybe it wasn't smart of you to make him that someone, but regardless, he was, and who was Steve Rogers not to listen to a person in need?

You blinked away the last of your tears and swallowed hard. You were making this choice consciously, to tell Steve what had really gotten you to your breaking point. And maybe telling him meant you had trust in him, maybe too much trust for someone who, while great, was still a customer. But you felt like there was nothing you could lose from telling him. Maybe you'd even feel better after the fact.

You looked down, picking at the body glitter on your arm that you had applied before the show. Your voice was considerably quieter now perhaps because you were looking back on the moment with a clear mind for the first time since it happened. You hadn't been thinking straight ever since you received the text just hours ago. Now your brain was a little quieter with the help of your tears and Steve's reassurance.

"I think that the stress of this school project is making me resent how hard I work for everything, just to be met with this kind of result, you know? And it's even worse when... things seem to be going backwards. You know, like when you make so much progress, moving on from things that don't serve you, and you've finally done it and you get to flourish in it and then, it just gets taken away from you. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but that's just how this feels."

Steve nodded, his jaw ticking as he let your words settle in. Somehow, although your situation was so different from his, he felt like your words perfectly described how he felt with the world sometimes. It was even part of the reason he'd held off on talking to you like this, held off on getting too involved. He too had made so much progress in this world, which took so much getting adjusted to in a way that absolutely nobody else could relate to.

It was a world that he didn't even know, a world that he had never been properly introduced to. He'd had to fend for himself. He did his healing on his own, just like you had. And yet sometimes it felt like he had no control, like the universe was going the opposite way of all his plans. Then he felt stupid for even having plans to begin with, because in life, making plans was like comedy for the gods.

There was a weird feeling in his chest and stomach, like he'd been stabbed with a gutting realization, and the knife was just turning inside of him, churning his insides. He began to feel a sense of unease, because this deep conversation was beginning to feel incredibly personal. Even though you were talking about your own situation, he couldn't help but think about how much he resonated, and the fact that he felt like he could relate to you on such a deep level scared him. This was more than the conversations you'd had before, more than the simple similarities you and Steve shared. This felt like a conversation that might be too telling for his good and your own.

He swallowed his words as he listened to you continue. You chose your words carefully, but you had shed yourself of your inhibitions when it came to being truthful.

"Earlier... I heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a long time. And it kind of pushed me over the edge," out of your mouth stumbled a laugh. You were calmer now, and looked up at the camera, Steve swallowing hard when you did so. It was all so real, just like it was when you touched yourself and moaned Steve's name. "I think it just made me feel all those things I just explained. Because I feel like I worked so hard to rid myself of this person and them trying to come back just feels like all the things I worked so hard on are going to unravel. Even though I know they aren't, it feels like a setback. And that was like, the icing on the cake to this already terrible day, I guess."

You let out a breathy laugh and smiled gently, shaking your head slowly.

"I normally wouldn't be telling this to a customer. But here we are. Again, I'm sorry... I feel like I shouldn't have said anything? Should I... have said anything?"

In the brief silence that followed your question, both you and Steve were thinking the same thing - were you going to regret this? Intimacy both physically and emotionally was good when you capped it at what you both knew to be appropriate. When it came to the physical aspects, you each let your fantasies unwind.

And on the emotional aspect, though you had both grown closer and more open, some things just didn't get touched upon. But now you had just cried over the screen, and spoke from the depths of your heart. It was scary to open up in such an uncertain situation where your own privacy was an aspect that got involved. There was no doubt that it was too much. It was just a question of whether the result would be negative.

Steve sighed deeply, a crease forming in his forehead as he furrowed his brows together, folding his arms over his chest.

"I don't know..." he trailed off, took a breath, a leap, his body practically lurching forward. "But... it can't be a bad thing that you feel comfortable talking to me about this, can it?"

And there it was, that glint of hope he was trying his hardest to conceal. That feeling he got when he got off that call with you, the one where you both started giving into those unspoken thoughts. That this couldn't be so bad, that you could enjoy each other's company without worrying.

You smiled gently,

"I guess. It does feel weird though, it's not something I normally do. It feels like something I shouldn't be doing."

You could hear Steve breathing in deeply, and for a moment, you imagined what he might look like, envisioning the outline of a troubled face, eyebrows knit together. You snapped back to reality and made a face, confused by your abrupt thoughts. You had long gotten over the very brief desire to see Steve's face- why was it coming back again?

"I'll be honest, same here," Steve agreed with your sentiments.

"Do you always feel like you have to restrain what you say when you talk to people? Or is it just with me?" you added that last part in a quiet voice, biting your lip.

Steve chuckled briefly,

"Are you asking me if I have trust issues? Because I'd tell you, but I'd have to trust you to do that."

You shook your head and laughed at Steve's stupid joke, and shrugged.

"I could say the same thing, I think. This person I heard from earlier is... I developed those trust issues because of them. Or, my already existent trust issues became worse. But what's funny about it is that this person was once someone that I loved," even as the words were coming out you questioned why you were letting them, why you were allowing yourself to be so truthful in a situation like this at a time when you were so vulnerable.

Steve didn't reply, again feeling that sick feeling in his stomach that stemmed from his fear. The fear that this conversation were too serious, fear surrounding the fact that he was able to relate so much to such a personal situation of yours.

You spoke again, daring to ask the question that felt like a final blow to Steve's stomach,

"Have you ever been in love, Steve?"

Now Steve knew he was in uncharted territory. Not because he feared you might try to exploit him, but because he was so struck by the fact that he had allowed himself to feel so safe with you and get so close to you. He was surprised at himself for letting you feel safe enough to have these kinds of conversations with him. It all felt like a mistake now. He wanted a way out, any way out. He knew if he even attempted to answer that question, he would be making a big mistake. He had shared some of his most intimate moments with you, but always keeping in mind a very sharp line he didn't want to be crossed.

And in his mind, he thought of the one love he'd had, the one love that hadn't been fulfilled because of the situation he had been thrown into, one he had never signed up for. He thought of how the things he cared most for in life had been discarded, how, like you, he felt like it had gone to shit. How sometimes, though he tried his best to be grateful and had taken that journey of self-healing just like you, it all felt like some sick joke.

Could he even call it love? He wasn't sure. And he wasn't going to answer. He wasn't going to answer at all, because he wouldn't be talking to you again. There would be no chance for this dilemma to resurface, not with you, not on this site. He made the decision with haste and a heavy heart - he was done here.

The discomfort was well evident in his voice, answering loud and clear, though his voice was morose and a bit closed off. You sensed the shift immediately.

"I... I can't talk about that right now. Listen, I have to go."

You felt a pang in your chest at the sudden switch in his demeanor, straightening up and trying not to frown. All this time you had been letting the words spill out, telling yourself not to worry so much, reassuring yourself it was okay to make your feelings known. Now it felt like you should've never said anything at all. You started to stammer.

"Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I was just... I feel like I got a little overwhelmed." You laughed nervously. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Steve felt his throat ran dry as he blinked, feeling emotions come up to surface that he wasn't quite familiar with. Maybe he was grieving in advance, regretting the decision he was making to no longer speak with you, regretting the fact that he was letting fear get in the way of what he wanted so badly to be a good thing.

"No, I'm sorry. I feel like I let things go too far," Steve apologized, but the apology felt more like an insult.

Was he implying that whatever this was, you couldn't handle it, and that it was his fault for somehow leading you on? You had both made the connection with each other, it was an equal effort. And why was he acting like the two of you communicating at all was somehow below him, somehow a risk? If anything, you were the one risking it just by talking to him the way you did. You were opening up to him.

You almost felt betrayed - you had convinced yourself that he wouldn't want to listen to your problems and you told yourself it wasn't his responsibility to listen. And then he listened anyway, told you that he wanted to hear it, and you cried to him. You felt like you had made so many unusual accommodations just for him to scare off like this. He was just another person you had expressed your feelings to, only to regret it in the end.

"Too far?" you questioned, furrowing your brows.

Steve swallowed. In your voice he could hear a hint of frustration, but even worse- hurt. It pained him more than he cared for you to know.

"I don't think we should talk anymore," he said instead.

"What?" you were taken by surprise. "Steve, I'm... I'm not understanding. I... I don't usually open up to people like this, I mean, I thought maybe it was fine here, because I feel like I know you. But you're still a stranger. I understand you're a customer but I thought we were talking, I thought we broke through that wall-"

"We did. And we shouldn't have," Steve said, his voice so calm and firm that it was almost cold.

By now you were just staring into the computer camera, as if you were looking at him and waiting for him to come to his senses. But as you did that, you slowly came to your own. Because you weren't looking at him. You were looking at a black screen with his voice behind it. You realized you hadn't known Steve, not enough to talk about these things. And just like him, you too were full of regret. You kept all those walls up for the sake of customer relations, only to put them down and be met with this disastrous result.

Steve almost couldn't bare to look at your face anymore. You were confused, hurt. He could tell you regretted the fact that you had opened up. He was hurt too, but he wouldn't show it, or let it overcome him to the point where your methods of communication with each other became something neither of you could control. Still, yes, he was hurt.

But he had been through plenty of hardships in life. What was one more, even if it shouldn't have come to this point anyway?

"I'm sorry, Moonrose. We can't. Goodbye."

Chat over.

#steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reader insert #reader insert #smut #captain america civil war #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #captain america smut #captain america #girls on film #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel smut #marvel reader insert #steve rogers series #captain america series

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visforvengeance · 4 years

Text

Exit music (for a film)

ＢｉｌｌｙＨａｒｇｒｏｖｅ

Requested by: no one ;)

Notes: hello. here is something i’ve been working on since s3. it was originally called we hope that you choke. but i changed it literally 3 minutes ago. it’s going to be in chapters bc i couldn’t figure out how to write everything without making it an 8,000 word fic😬. the upside down doesn’t exist in this. el doesn’t have powers. ahem hopper and billie don’t die. i thought this song would fit perfectly with billy considering his dad is pretty shit. i’m procrastinating on wdywmts. i’m so sorry. i have a justin foley fic. do y’all want that shit?

Warnings: none in this chapter. i mean cursing? and vulgar language. steve being a dick. billy is maybe out of character. slight mentions of death and daddy issues.

word count: 2,072

Y/n’s POV

“Have you seen the new kid? He’s so hot! Ugh! Look at that hair!” My friend, Genesis, gushed as he walked by. He was hot, but he looked like trouble. And it was annoying how every girl swooned over him. Looks like Steve Harrington has some competition this year. “Gen, don’t you have a boyfriend?” I questioned. She rolled her green eyes and scoffed. “Alex and I are on a break, thank you very much.” I laughed at her faux annoyance.

I closed my locker door and leaned against it. “He isn’t even that hot. He’s already flirting with girls and it’s literally his first day.” Genesis hit my arm. “Can you blame him? Look at him. God, his chest is so mint! I’d give anything to get a piece of that.” I shook my head at how much my friend was thirsting over him. “Jesus, Gen. Can you keep it in your pants? You don’t even know his name.” She smirked and looked at me. “Billy Hargrove.” God, even his name sounded like he’d be a womanizer.

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that. And keep your dirty comments to yourself, Genesis.” The red-haired girl slammed her locker shut. And we began walking to first period. “Oh, don’t be such a prude, Y/N! Ever since you broke up with Steve, you’ve been a complete betty!” I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “No, I haven’t! I just don’t care for boys anymore. They’re stupid and gross.”

“Yeah, since you got your heart broken. Come on! It’s time to show him what he’s missing. Have you seen your body recently? Boys have been tripping over their feet staring at you. You just won’t give them the time of day.” Blah blah blah. She just had to bring up repressed memories of a certain tragedy.

Steve had called me over to attend the end of the year party he was having. His parents weren’t home, so he had a shit ton of alcohol for everyone. When I entered the door, I was greeted by loud music and drunken teens. I wove my way through the crowd and stood by Steve. He’d noticed me and pecked my cheek, “Hey, babe. You made it.” He sounded surprised. “I mean, yeah? Why do you sound so surprised?” He was a little drunk, so he tripped over his words a bit.

“U-usually you never come. Too busy doing your homework or whatever excuse you tell me.” Tommy H. appeared and forced his way into the conversation. “Nah, she’s too busy being a prude. Are you a virgin, Y/N? Steve usually tells me about all the girls he’s fucked, but you? He’s never even mentioned.” Before I had a chance to defend myself, Carol butted in.

“No way she’s a virgin. I heard she had a thing going on with that creep, Johnathan Byers. How’d you take it, Y/N? In the ass? Or did he pop your sweet cherry?” Steve laughed as Tommy and Carol taunted me. I scoffed. “None of your business, dipshits. And seriously, Steve? I’ve been to every one of your stupid parties. You just choose to ignore me. Like you do in school, you cast me aside. Am I not popular enough for you? Is that it? Or are you too busy ogling Nancy Wheeler?” His face scrunched in confusion. “Woah, woah, woah. Are you okay? You’re going a bit psycho. It’s not my fault no one likes you.” I scoffed at Steve’s drunken words. Of course, he’d say something like this.

The next day, Steve found out about what he had said. He tried to explain why he said what he said, but never said he was sorry and that it wasn’t true. I broke it off with him.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. “I’d rather not. And what makes you think he’d go for me anyway? I don’t seem like his type.” Genesis filled the halls with laughter. “He’s been staring at you since he walked into the classroom. And not to mention, he’s coming over to you now!” What? I turned to his direction and followed until he was standing next to the desk beside me.

“Is this seat taken?” I think I underestimated his attractiveness. He was insanely hot. “U-uh no.” I stuttered out an answer. He nodded and smirked. It was science class and my partner had moved to another state. You know what that means? He’ll most likely be my partner. I don’t think I'm stable enough to handle this.

The next 60 minutes were filled with uninterested and forced conversations about physics and whether I was single or not. Thank god for the bell. Before Billy could say another thing, I rushed out of the classroom and stood by my locker, waiting for Genesis. She looked annoyed as she approached me. “Why the hell did you run off? He was obviously into you.”

I rolled my eyes as she lectured me about the blue-eyed boy’s interest in me. “I don’t want to be the first of girls who he has fucked over. I’ve had enough of that with Steve.” She frowned at my tragic outburst. “You never know! He might be different. Looks CAN be deceiving, Y/N. You have to give him a chance. It’s my dying wish!” Genesis dramatically placed her hands on her heart and head. When I deadpanned, she straightened her posture. “Come on. You don’t even have to go all the way. Just be nice to him.”

I sighed an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Fine! I’ll be nice to him. But as soon as he shows signs that he’s up to no good, I am dropping it.” Genesis excitedly jumped up and down, trapping me in a hug. “Yes! That’s all I’m asking. I just know you won’t regret it.” She declared as she wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Billy had shown up in my next class, and also decided to take a seat next to me. Causing a student to angrily walk to the back of the class, while she shot daggers at me as we talked. He looked at me and smiled. While the teacher taught, he started talking to me. “Hey.” Remembering what Genesis said, I turned and smiled at him. “Hi.” His eyes displayed shock, but his body remained cool. “So, you’re talking to me now?” I laughed and nodded. “I’m glad I didn’t give up on you, then.” “Hm, I’m glad too.”

We talked for majority of second period. He was quite interesting and he had a gorgeous smile. I learned that he came from California and had a sister. He made it his job to walk me to my locker and carry on the conversation we had for three periods now. As we were walking, Genesis’ ginger curls came into view as did my locker. She saw us and her eyes went wide with surprise.

I introduced the two people as I opened my locker. “Billy, this is my best friend, Genesis. Genesis, this is my new friend, Billy.” He turned to Gen and greeted her by taking her hand and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you, Genesis.” My friend was astonished, as she bowed. “The pleasure is all mine.” I rolled my eyes in annoyment as Genesis continued to be dramatic.

It was now time for lunch and Billy joined us at our table. While we walked, I felt Steve’s eyes on us. Jealousy painted the features that I once adored. I returned my attention back to the two people who were happily chatting about god knows what. “So, Billy. Are you dating anyone?’ Genesis stated as she nudged my knee with her own. I nearly choked at the question as I looked at her. Thank god he didn’t notice my slight panic and carried on with his answer.

“No, not at the moment.” He chuckled at the question. “Interesting. Neither is Y/N.” I felt hot all over as Genesis exposed my relationship status to a person I barely knew. Now, Billy was full-on laughing while I sat in complete embarrassment. “Yes, and it’ll stay that way until further notice,” I said while I kicked the girl’s knee. She winced in pain and decided to back down, for now. Billy’s face faltered in disappointment. But he quickly replaced it with amusement.

“What a bummer, then.” He smiles almost sadly. “Yes. A complete bummer. I’ve been trying to get her to come out of her shell, but Steve really fucked it up for her.” Genesis said, angrily. He pulled a confused look. “Steve Harrington?” He asked. Genesis and I exchanged a look. “Yeah, you know him?” He nodded while taking a sip of his chocolate milk.

“He’s in my gym class. Real asshat, that guy. What happened between you two?” He asked, curiously. Genesis looked at me, expectantly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “He was just a dick. He always placed his popularity and shithead friends above me.” Billy shook his head in disbelief and slight anger. “He didn’t deserve you.” Genesis perked up at that. “I’ve been saying that for centuries.” I zoned out as they both shared a common ground on how I deserved better.

Lunch was over and we had to go to fourth period. Genesis and I had gym, so Billy didn’t tag along with us. “So, he seems like absolute boyfriend material.” I shook my head. “You’re really pushing for us to date, huh?” Genesis turned to me after stretching her legs. “Uh, yes? You guys would make the perfect couple. He gives me bad boy/protective boyfriend vibes. Potential daddy issues with unconditional love for his girlfriend? Ah-mazing!”

He seemed really sweet and he was definitely the cutest. His hair seems so soft, and don’t even get me started on his smile. It makes hearts generate above my head! And his body, dear god. It seems so perfect. I’d give anything to feel his abs against my-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Genesis nearly screamed at me. “What? No, I’m not.” She squinted at me, not believing a word I said. ‘Date. Him.’ She mouthed at me. I shook my head and turned to pay attention to my teacher’s directions.

The school day was over and I was so relieved. Gen’s dad picked her up early, so I was alone for the rest of class. I was putting my things in my locker when Billy approached me. “Did you miss me?” He asked, jokingly. I laughed and closed my locker. “I just about died without you.” I said as I placed my hand on my chest, dramatically. A slight blush creeped up on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Are you doing anything after school?” He asked. I thought about it for a second and shook my head. “Nope. I planned I’m going straight home. Why?” He held the door open for me as we walked outside. “I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hangout?”

I giggled at his uncertainty. “Yeah, i'd like that. We could probably go to the park? And just sit in your car and talk.” He seemed so happy that I agreed. “Ok. Sounds like a plan.”

We arrived at the park and he turned his car off. I turned so I was facing him. “So. Tell me about yourself. How old is your sister?” “She’s actually my stepsister. But she’s 14. My mom died when I was 8.” I grabbed his hand and apologized. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been hard to deal with.” He looked at our hands and then up at me. I released his hand and placed mine back in my lap. “It was. My dad...he’s really shitty.” Daddy issues? Wow, is my best friend God?

“Sounds fucked up. I’m sorry, again. Do you miss California?” He nodded. “A lot. But I think I’ll like it better here.” He smirked. My eyes went wide for a second and then back to normal. This boy is going to kill me.

“You know. You’re actually not so bad. I think I might take a chance on you.” He leaned back in his seat. “God, I sure hope so. You seem like a doll.” I laughed at his confidence. “Thanks, I guess.”

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thestuckylibrary · 4 years

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Group Ask 168

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Anon 1 said:

hii im looking for a certain fic where bucky age regresses. hes in college and only does it when his roommate, i think it was scott, isnt home. he hangs out with steve on a certain day every week but one day he forgets because he’s too stressed abt exams and wants to regress, so steve finds him in littlespace. thank you !!

Anon 2 said:

Hi! I’m looking for a fic I read a while back where Bucky tries to retire (I think in a house Tony let them use?) and makes a life for himself in the town and slowly convinces Steve to give up the fight and retire with him. I remember the fic included Steve’s sketches as he begins drawing again. Thanks so much!

prplflwr3 said:

I’m sorry I’m not very familiar with tumblr, but I really love your blog! I’m looking for a fic that spans from pre war - I think the chapter titles are rivers, and Bucky saves Steve from drowning in Brooklyn and he can’t recognise faces until he gets the serum?? Thank you!

arxiver87 said:

I need your help, I lost a fic. It was written pre Civil War. It had POV Bucky, straight off of CA:WS going back to a Hydra base because he was programmed to. His handlers show up and give him increasingly strange orders, all of which make him more human. It becomes evident that these strange handlers are actually the avengers. In the last scene Steve shows up, and Bucky no longer thinks of him as his mission, but recognizes him as Steve. Please help, I loved this one and want to read it again.

sadritsuka12 said:

Hi I have a question hope you help me a fanfiction about Steve trying to commit suicide and his mom stop him then later Bucky stop him. And is in 1940 I think..

Anon 3 said: (/others)

Hi! I’m looking for a very specific fic and I’m going crazy trying to find it. It shows snippets of their life pre-Captain America: TFA all the way to after Winter Soldier (I think?). The last scene is of Bucky visiting Steve (wearing a black glove over his metal hand) while a pregnant Sharon is in his apartment. Sharon leaves so the two can talk. As for the pre-TFA scenes, I remember Steve being really sick and Bucky kissing him on the forehead and talking about Myrna Loy. THANK YOU

Anon 4 said:

Hi! This is going be really embarrassing but I think I got this fic from here, and I can't find it but it was about pre-serum steve and bucky pretending not to know each other then proceed to have sex at bucky's work at the repair shop pre-war? I've checked the roleplay tag but it seems like it wasn't roleplay. Please please please help me find it again. :(

Anon sent in A Different Touch by GoldBlooded (restricted, oneshot | 2,442 | E)

Anon 5 said:

Can you help me find a fic where cap wakes up normally from being frozen but Bucky never becomes the winter soldier and instead gets defrosted when he is found in the tundra. I remember Steve telling everyone not to do the fake 1940s thing and Bucky trying to make good impressions on everyone when he first wakes up.

Anon 6 said: (rape/noncon)

Hey I'm looking for a fic where Steve goes to help out at a hostage situation, where kids are being held in the bathroom. To get the kids out, the criminals rape Steve. he goes home and bucky takes care of him. I remember Steve being pretty spooked and Bucky comforting him. There may have been a bath?

Anon sent in You can have my everything* by Builder (oneshot | 9,103 | M) *non-graphic rape/noncon

Anon 7 said: (possibly /others)

I've been trying to find this fic thru tags but I just don't have much luck: Bucky and Stever were exes, and Bucky escapes to an island cos he witnessed a crime and Steve owns the business in the island and Bucky is surprised how sexually liberal Steve is and Bucky thinks that's the crux of the problem in their relationship. Happy ending though. Thanks!

Anon 8 said:

I’m looking for a soulmates fic where each person is born with a mark in the shape of a hand. Bucky is born with one but Steve isn’t but it’s not until the end of the fic that Bucky notices a pale handprint shape on the back of Steve’s neck and touches it that he realizes they are really soul mates. I know that it’s not “I still feel for your touch/hand on my skin” and I checked the soulmates tag and couldn’t find it. Please help!

princessniitza sent in a mark, a mission, a brand, a scar by suzukiblu (complete | 4,671 | G)

mythkissed said:

this is so specific but i have no idea how to search for it, im looking for a fic that was posted a few years back & set post catws, the only scene i remember is steve read somewhere that gay men are more likely to part their hair to one side (right?) than the other so he purposely parts his hair the "straight" way and he tellsbucky to do the same (theyre not together at this point) tony is a character so i think they all lived in stark tower. thx for all your help!

Anon 9 said:

a while ago i read a fanfic where bucky and steve’s thing is buckle buckaroo instead of im with you until the end of the line do you know the name?

blueguacamole said:

Ok please please I need your help with a fic! I’ve been looking forever but basically it’s post-civil war and Steve, Sam, and Bucky are trying to hide from tony. Bucky is jealous of Steve and Sam’s friendship and tries to steal Steve’s attention away from him. This leads to them not getting along. But eventually they make up. Towards the end of the fic Tony finds out where they are and starts hunting them, Sam and Bucky go on the run, Bucky gets choked by Tony so bad he has a purple bruise and basically him and Sam are trying to get to an airport, where Steve is waiting so that they make it to wakanda. At some point Clint drives them, they get McDonald’s in a car towards the end. I’m sorry I know this is super specific but I’ve been looking for days now and I can’t find it. If anybody knows please tell me I loved this fic! ❤️

whyaretheycalledpancakes, miraishu and Anon sent in Trust Me by oatrevolution (complete | 73,303 | T)

Anon 10 said:

Hii, Thanks so much in advance if you do answer this. I'm looking for an au fic set in a society type setting ? Bucky had an arranged marriage to Steve who's family was really high up in society and he was really reluctant to marry him ? Other things i remember is that things like art and music were illegal but steve tried to pass a law to change that ? I'm sorry if thats too brief i don't remember all that much :/

#group asks

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captainchrisfics · 5 years

Text

Welcome Home

About: Steve is sent away on a solo mission, leaving his girlfriend aka our first person pov narrator alone and longing for him. His deep laugh that rumbled like thunder. Those eyes that somehow house the ocean and the stars. His touch... Some help breaking in her new mattress couldn’t hurt.

Word Count: 5,276

Requested By: Anonymous- I’ve got a couple reqs piling up, but if you wouldn’t mind a wait I’ll be more than happy to take yours :)

A/N: This fic is definitely dirty so you’ve been warned. In case it’s removed in this content cleanse, I posted it to AO3 since it’s one I’m really happy with so I don’t want to lose it. I think I’ll start moving the work I publish here over there as well for a bit more reassurance- linked here. Hope you enjoy!

Your own bed was supposed to be the most comfortable one, right? The mattress that’s worn in by the contours of your body, the pillows fit perfectly to the curve of your neck, the thread count of the sheets homey in a familiar way. That wasn’t the case since Tony had a stroke of genius and took the initiative to upgrade me to this king-sized bed. He argued that, after being tossed around by Hydra, berated by politicians, and drained by my super soldier of a boyfriend, I deserved to fall into bed without my feet hanging off the edge.

Nevertheless, I laid awake for nights on end now, still feeling like a foreigner. My twin bed wasn’t much better if I’m honest. I practically forgot about it until a month ago when I returned to my own mattress for the first time in I don’t know how long. That one was never properly broken in either since I spent most nights in Steve’s room.

Maybe that was why I couldn’t sleep. Steve had never been gone on a mission this long before. Or at least, in the past, I’d been there too. We could watch each other’s backs. He was pushing on four weeks now. Almost a month of not knowing where he was, if he was safe, if he was even a fraction as lonely as I was, or if he’d been able to sleep at all either.

I wasn’t told much about this mission other than that it was paramount Steve left immediately. When he did, he gave me a kiss that wasn’t nearly long enough to tide me over until he was back and told me he didn’t even know when he would be. He told me to take care of myself and that he loved me with this sincerity ingrained in his eyes that I’ll remember no matter how much time passed until he came home. Not entirely irrationally, I was beginning to fear he might not. Nothing was guaranteed for us, but Steve was like the sun coming up tomorrow. I didn’t know with one hundred percent certainty that it would- I mean, anything could happen really. But I was so sure that the sun would rise I didn’t usually bother fretting over if it’d be there in the morning. It all seems guaranteed until the sun disappears without a trace for far too long now.

I gave up on tossing and turning in Steve’s bed, trying desperately to close my eyes and think about anything other than him, even though it was usually where I was most comfortable. If possible, it felt even emptier than my unfamiliar one. It was almost worse, being where Steve should’ve been too.

So I gathered his t-shirts I’ve been laying with to give me something resembling his presence and returned to my own room. They didn’t really smell like him anymore. My sheets tucked too tightly around the mattress, my pillows as stiff as they would be if they were brand new, and my boyfriend nowhere to be seen.

Until a knock sounded from my door. I sat up hesitantly, my heart already soaring along with my head above the clouds in the hopes that it just might be him, watching as whoever it was pushed the door from ajar to wide open. The white light flooded in from the hall and illuminated Steve’s silhouette, accentuating his broad shoulders and tall shadow stretching across my room. He took a quiet step in as he tried not to wake me causing the floor to creak under his weight, eyes cast downward and cursing at it under his breath.

Before he could comprehend I was even conscious, I jumped from the foot of the bed and launched myself at Steve in a fit of excitement. Unprepared for my momentum, he stumbled until his back hit the hallway wall. Steve still smelled like a nauseating combination of fiery explosions and singed hair from whatever battle he’d just won, but that didn’t stop me from burying my face in the crook of his neck. His face was covered in grimy soot and sweat, all overshadowed by his grin as he chuckled.

“Glad to see me, huh?” he teased, though his strong arm’s tight grip around my waist made me wonder if he’d ever let me go again either. The way his pearly smile stretched across his face and crinkled his glassy blue eyes almost closed completely when he laughed was just the same as in the memories I’d been replaying in my mind. I couldn’t describe how unbelievable it was to see in person again, just a few inches away instead of countless miles.

I bundled Steve’s cheeks between my palms, trying to prove he was real. Trying to hold on to some part of him in case he disappeared again. “I missed you so much,” I choked out. My chest heaved against Steve’s, pressing us closer if even possible, with breaths I hoped were deep enough to drown my sobs. “I missed you more,” he said softly, the confession of a secret just between the two of us.

I could stare at him for hours. Taking in the curve of his smiling lips, the pale rosy color curling to reveal his bright white grin that hadn’t been the first thing I saw in the morning in way too long. Trying to identify every emotion swimming in those eyes, a kaleidoscope of blue hues the same color of the ocean right before a storm. Noting the grim shadows carving out his face below his high cheekbones, making him appear much gaunter than I remembered.

Steve’s head dropped to meet mine slowly, his eyes fluttering shut as he leaned in for a kiss. Even though his lips were chapped and he tasted more salty with sweat than the Steve I remembered kissing goodbye, it was comforting. Familiar in a way nothing really had been since he left. Like the way Steve tangled his fingers in my hair with the experience of a certified boy scout, tying the same knots as dozens of times before. And how, when my leg crept up around his, tentatively asking Steve to pick me up, his hands were already wrapping around the bottom of my thighs and ready to support me. It wasn’t as automatic as clockwork, foreseeable in a scheduled sort of way. Rather, we knew each other well enough to predict one another. We worked in sync, not like a machine but as a symphony.

I broke our kiss once I finally had to take a deep breath in, full of Steve’s sweaty stench. “I’ll see you after your shower,” I said, patting his chest to tell Steve I was done with him for now. He dropped me begrudgingly, pouting his kiss-swollen lips in protest. As much as I hated to push him away when I finally had him back in my arms, Steve really did reek. He didn’t help his case when he stretched his arm up to scratch the back of his neck. “That,” I pointed to the funk all but actually radiating in green waves from Steve’s armpit, “is a total mood killer.” Steve rolled his eyes as he groaned a sarcastic, “Love you too.”

Too long later Steve rose from my ensuite bathroom in an aura of steam, one towel wrapped around his waist while he scrubbed at his messy, damp blonde hair with another. His wet feet pitter-pattered their way to the dresser where Steve kept some of his own clothes, though I had other plans in mind.

“Don’t bother,” I said with a voice that quivered despite my forced confidence. I wasn’t usually the one to start this sort of thing. “Whatever you put on will just end up on the floor anyway.” Now that caught Steve’s attention. He turned, his face contorted with curiosity at first until he saw me sitting smugly in his favorite lingerie set. It was black and lacy, emphasizing every curve of mine in a way I knew only made Steve desperate to take it off. It felt so sinful, laying before him looking like everything Captain America and his moral righteousness shouldn’t want anything to do with. But I think that’s why Steve loved it so much.

He slowly stopped drying his hair until that hand finally dropped, leaving it standing up in every direction, his blue eyes as big as his shield. “You know, I just came by to say goodnight,” he started, wrenching the towel around each finger to make sure his hands were dry. “I’ve been so exhausted all I wanted was to come home and sleep in my own bed. It’s always the little things.” Steve tossed the towel in the laundry bin and I secretly hoped the one hanging dangerously low on the concave V-shaped lines of his hips would join it. “But I think I’d have to agree breaking yours in sounds like a much better idea.” Steve’s voice dropped seductively as he stared at my new mattress before his eyes started rising, tracing up my body before meeting my gaze with his starving eyes.

Suddenly I felt something in my chest, being scrutinized by his stare. Self-conscious wasn’t really the word, we haven’t felt shy like that around each other in a long time. The confidence came with experience. Instead, I felt more like a gazelle that knew the lion was watching, an invigorating hunt just on the horizon. It was anticipation.

Steve was the first to pounce, hovering over me before I could even catch my shaky breath. He went in for the attack just as quickly, sucking on my neck in all the right places to weaken my knees. Even though I’d been expecting this, craving it for weeks now, I forgot the effect his touch had on me. Stunned by the shock of his fingertips grasping my chest as he kneaded me over my bra’s thin fabric, the electricity he transferred with kisses tickling just below my ear making my hair stand on end as if a current just passes through me, his electricity took me by surprise.

Steve kissed up my jaw until we were face to face and he looked at me with a concern I hadn’t expected, searching my eyes for an indication as to why I hadn’t made a move yet. “Just surprised. It’s been a while,” I confessed, failing to realize I’d been too busy reveling to reciprocate. Steve accepted my honesty with a soft, empathetic smile. “You’re telling me,” he laughed with a lilt to it. “Even more reason to cherish each other now.” Steve looked at me tenderly, the softness looking a little funny on the harsh lines of his chiseled cheekbones.

It was so sappy that if it was anyone else in any other circumstance I would’ve broken out laughing at them, but his sincerity was sobering. I didn’t know what to say to Steve, there weren’t words for the way he made my heart burst wide open in a million simultaneous gooey explosions. So I kissed him instead and hoped it would be enough, crushing us together with the force of the blast stemming from my chest. I held Steve by the nape of his neck, fingers tickled by his hair that’d grown a bit longer than he usually kept it, as I wrapped my calves around his thighs and prayed we’d never become disentwined.

Steve deepened it with a lick of my bottom lip. I complied, opening up for him as his hand traveled downward, fingers hooking around the waistband of my underwear. My hips jerked up in an instinctive response to Steve, a little too enthusiastic, clashing our bodies together like cymbals. He pulled away from our kiss chuckling and stretched to pull my underwear over my bent knees. “I want to look at you, sweet girl,” Steve demanded, though I wasn’t trying to hide.

“Me too,” I volleyed back, tearing the towel from his waist with a swift move of my feet. I watched the fabric fall to the back of his calves with wide eyes, completely revealing Steve. He only laughed harder, sitting back on his heels for me to get a full view of the way his abs tightened and released with each stretch of his diaphragm. Every curve of his torso from his chiseled collarbone to his pecs swollen with muscle and defined six-pack of a stomach seemed to be so illicit it was a marvel anyone considered Steve Rogers to be some Anglo-Saxon prude like their grandfathers who were born in the same year. He, however, was anything but.

Steve’s head dropped as he shook out the last of his laughter, looking up at me through his long eyelashes. “I meant,” his voice was gruffer than I expected. “I want to look at you when you come for the first time in a month.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, bound by the only thing left between us and even then it was little more than a lacy trim. “How would you know?” I challenged, jutting out my chin. Maybe overplaying my objection given that I was trying to hide the truth. He was right. “Because I know you,” Steve sighed with a smirk. He tossed the discarded fabrics across the room before turning his full attention back to me. “And I know nothing makes you feel like I do.”

I shifted my weight to my elbows as he leaned forward until we were parallel to each other again. Steve kissed me on the lips for a few longing seconds before traveling down the curve of my jaw until he was leaving love bites on my collarbone. My knees snapped up as I wrapped my legs around his waist reflexively, making myself accessible to Steve. I ran my fingers down his flexed torso, outlining every bump and line of muscle with a fingernail before reaching his tight ass.

His hand reached between my legs, eliciting a breathy gasp from my lips parted by the following first of many moans as his first finger slipped between me. Steve started rubbing my clit, tracing teasing circles around my most sensitive bit. “I like seeing how I make your eyes roll back,” he growled in a husky voice with dark eyes and a wolfish grin. He pressed another finger to my sweet spot, rubbing rhythmically with each shaky breath I gasped with a heaving chest. “And when you shiver at my touch.” He slid his fingers up and down my folds so slowly it was almost agonizing before he found my clit again, focusing on the throbbing little nub that made my knees shake like earthquakes. “And the way your pretty little mouth just pops open when I...”

Steve penetrated me with two fingers. My body, being denied any sort of attention for far too long, quickly became overwhelmed with gratification I didn’t realize I missed so dearly. “Fuck, you’re tight. So wet for me too, doll,” he moaned, pumping slowly at first and then with a passionate vigor Steve found when he sensed I was on edge. One of my hands grappled up his back, leaving scratches in my search for something to hold onto until I found Steve’s hair, tangling my fingers into the blonde strands and tugging. I felt the spark of pleasure planted in the pit of my stomach, growing with each gratifying stroke of Steve’s fingers coaxing a fire of ecstasy. The whole time, his piercing blue eyes were trained on me with that unwavering concentration of his. Right now, getting me off was his mission and then, with one last curl of his fingers, he completed it.

My back arched until our stomachs were pressed together as I practically screamed Steve’s name. My eyes squeezed shut, but I felt like I was seeing heaven anyway. Steve kept touching me, whispering filthy encouragements in his husky voice as I rode out my high, grinding against his knuckles, putty in his hands. “Come here, let me see you. All of you,” Steve instructed after sucking his fingers clean, beckoning me with the same strong hand. I followed him like we were tied together as backed up, giving me room to sit up straight. I gathered my hair to the wide that wasn’t speckled with so many hickies we could play connect the dots, allowing him to see exactly what he’d done to me. Steve smirked as his eyes roamed my chest to my chin, admiring his work before he unhooked my bra. Even after it was tossed to the side, he didn’t make a move. He sat there with his hands resting on my thighs, just staring at my chest with this lazy smile like he was watching the tide come in. “My eyes are up here,” I joked half-heartedly, really trying to pick his brain. I ran my hands through his hair, digging my nails into his scalp in a way I knew he found calming. Steve’s eyes closed as his face relaxed, enjoying his little bit of euphoria. His chest rumbled with laughter as his baby blues drifted up to meet my gaze. “Sorry, it’s just... I had a dream just like this. I woke up missing you a million times more,” he confessed, chest falling with a heavy sigh. “And now it’s actually happening. You’re even more beautiful in reality somehow.” He tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear in an intimate moment where the month we’d spent apart melted away. “You should relax,” I purred, realizing how Steve was the one trying to get me off this whole time. It was my turn to return the favor. “C’mon and rest, baby. You’ve been off working so hard for so long and I want you to enjoy yourself, too.” I pushed on Steve’s chest, willing him to roll over. A perk of changing positions on anything other than a twin mattress, I suppose. Steve complied, holding my hips tight with one hand and cradling my back with the other so I flipped with him effortlessly. “Doll, you of all people should know how much I enjoy making you moan my name, maybe second only to our neighbors,” he joked, staring up at me with a devil may care kind of grin as a hot blush broke out across my cheeks. “But if you insist...” Steve made himself comfortable, lacing his fingers behind his head in eager preparation for some show I’d be putting on like one of those performers in the small skirts from his old traveling USO days.

“Wait a second,” he shifted uncomfortably, groaning as he pulled one of his own t-shirts wadded into a ball from under his back. He held it up, the picture of confusion at first, before putting the puzzle piece hanging from his hand with the art of his favorite record from The Crest’s on the front. Steve smirked as he mused, “Trying to replace me now, baby?” I only shrugged sheepishly in response, my eyes falling from his with a blush as they landed down south instead. I ran my fingers through my hair a little more nervously than I’d like to admit, determined to give Steve a good time nonetheless. His length which was standing at attention, ironically the only good soldier here. I crawled backward until I was face to face or, rather, head to head with his hard dick. I dragged my flat tongue so painstakingly slow from the base up as payback for earlier, pumping it with my hand as I focused my tongue on his tip. Steve threw his head back with pleasure, releasing a guttural moan reverberating from the very bottom of his stomach. I started working harder with his encouragement, taking as much of Steve in as I could and bobbing up and down his length. He balled the sheets up in his tight fists as he gasped so hard it sounded like it hurt as his hips bucked up in a staccato, shoving himself deeper down my throat. Steve was close. I licked around his member one last time before pulling away, much to his dismay.

“I was getting there, baby,” he groaned when I hopped off my mattress, sticking out his pouted chin like a child throwing a tantrum. I giggled as I walked over to the dresser, careful to exaggerate the swing of my ass in an attempt to frustrate Steve even more. I found a new box of condoms hidden under my oldest socks and tore open the cardboard impatiently. Usually, the box of rubbers would be in a more accessible place and already close to being empty as it was in Steve’s room, but switching it up to my bed wasn’t commonplace. “I know,” I teased before tearing the foil open with my teeth, anxious to resume our activity, on my way back to where my boyfriend, who was sat up curiously until the realization dawned on him. “I want to feel you though, babe. All of you, inside of me.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up as he smiled, lifting his hands to welcome me back. I straddled his waist, the new springs of my mattress creaking under my weight. I pinched the tip and rolled the latex down his length, smirking at Steve who praised me with his permission.

I bit my lip before reaching between my legs, scooping up some of my own wetness before pumping it over his pulsing, veiny member waiting so patiently for me. I knew it would be a tight fit, especially considering it’d been a while since I last made space for him. I positioned myself over Steve and eased him into me, slowly lowering my hips to his with more hesitation than usually existed between us. I was usually used to taking Steve in, but I winced with discomfort I knew would pass. Just another reminder of our time apart. Steve steadied me with his hands on my waist, guiding my first few bounces. “Everything okay, doll?” Steve inquired, rubbing slow, soothing circles along my sides.

“More than okay,” I smiled to reassure him. “Just not as… acclimated to you as I used to be.” Steve nodded with understanding and apologized, though I assured him I was really fine. I slapped one of his hands until he gave it to me to squeeze as my knuckles grew white, knowing the strained sound of my voice if I’d asked aloud would make him nervous. I tried to pick up the pace between grunts with a more fevered roll of my hips, sure that everything would be better once we found our rhythm again, but Steve was hesitant now. He never voiced it, but I knew he feared that one of these days he’d break his doll.

I ripped my hand from his and used it to brace myself, pressing down on Steve’s chest so hard I was surer of his heart pounding than my own as I leaned into him. I bent over to kiss him again, passionate with a hunger that still hadn’t been satisfied yet. “Baby, I need you to go faster,” I begged, pressing my sweaty forehead to his and looking Steve square in the eye so he’d catch on to my desperate desire for him to be completely impetuous. I locked my ankles together at the small of his back, willing him to press deeper into me. “Harder, love, I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t stand straight next week.”

Steve laughed gruffly as he gave in to my breathy requests, pushing his throbbing member deeper into me unabashedly now, my blessing being enough for him to cave to his own cravings, until he hit my sweet spot. I liked it like this, when Steve made me feel vastly expanding and like his whole everything all at once, on the very edge of something great. I felt like I imagined the universe did when it all started, a single sudden snap in dark nothingness until out of nowhere were these sprawling galaxies of burning suns in my chest and thick gassy clouds in my head and hurtling planets in the pit of my stomach so ready to run out of control without Steve’s gravity holding all of me together for now, providing a center for it all to spin around. As our tongues started to move in sync so did our hips, rolling together in perfect harmony as Steve’s thrusts grew more pleasurable with every harsh snap of his pelvis.

I broke our kiss to praise him, tell Steve how good he was making me feel, but I couldn’t shake the image his eyes closed tight and his mouth hanging open gave me. With what was left of my courage, I raised the hand that had been inside me to his mouth and dragged my index across his swollen bottom lip. Steve’s tongue edged out an inch or two in response, allowing me to drag my two fingers across his taste buds before hooking them in the corner of his mouth. “Tell me how I taste,” I ordered as he sucked. “Oh, angel,” he moaned like he’d been on the edge of his seat just waiting for me to ask. “Heaven.” Steve licked up to where my knuckle met his lip. “You’re a mouthful of everything heaven could only hope to be.”

Quite satisfied with myself, I leaned back. That’s when I let out a carnal moan from the back of my throat I couldn’t have anticipated when his length struck me just right. I arched my back until I was upright again and staring at the ceiling, tearing my hand from Steve’s lips and throwing it back haphazardly like I was riding a bull instead of my boyfriend until my palm found the top of his thigh for balance. The shift in position allowed for Steve to keep hitting my g-spot, stealing another illicit gasp from me as I hit a wall of rapture and exploded on impact.

“Good God, you’re too gorgeous,” Steve moaned loudly, rolling his head along with the current of the blissful wave crashing over him as my muscles tightened around him. His hands found my hips again and his grip tightened so hard I knew I’d have bruises of his fingerprints in the morning, the idea of which only turned me on even more, as he continued to splutter compliments and praises in between growls and groans. One of his hands migrated up like it took a lot of effort, kneading at my breast and tugging at its sensitive, erect peak. “Oh,” I gasped with the shock of the new sensation. “Just like that, love. Fuck, that feels so good. You make me feel so good, Steve.” I ground my hips harder against his, more intent on getting him off now than ever. His thrusts became increasingly erratic, the tightening in his stomach corresponding with my own.

Our voices rose together in a chaotic brass crash of sound the likes of which Copland couldn’t even compose, screams between unstable breaths merging together just like the rest of us did. His hands moved backward, pawing at my ass as our laps clapped together with each impact, an audience worshipping the music we made together. Then, as suddenly as this all began, we both came undone. Steve’s blue eyes rolled to the back of his head, his nails digging into my skin as he tightened like a spring before bouncing upon meeting his release. He came with stuttering gasps and sudden snaps of his hips and eyes squeezed so tight I thought the crow’s feet might become permanent.

In this moment, no matter what kind of euphoria I was chasing, I always paused to watch Steve. I reveled in how vulnerable he became during the only time I got to see him completely indisposed. Fragile even. Safe enough to be weak. If he was ever going to be at the mercy of anyone, these were the couple of seconds I cherished knowing it was me. Shortly after I followed with another climax of my own, reaching a high like a mountain peak, while Steve kept pumping until I was over the other side of it and hurtling back down to Earth again.

I pushed my hair back and sighed, breathing heavy as I sat on top of him even though we were both tired and still. “What way to welcome me back home,” Steve said, his voice still hoarse and awestruck at the same time as his warm hands massaged my tense thighs. I climbed off of him with a self-satisfied smirk, regretfully leaving him in the bed again as I went to discard the condom and clean myself up. I heard Steve laugh as I stumbled at first, my knees still shaky, my head spinning, and my feet unable to find a single cohesive line to walk from my bed to the en-suite. “Got what you wanted, doll?” he joked with a charming smugness in his tone, to which I just flipped him a playful bird.

When I came out of the bathroom, Steve was slipping into some underwear next to the dresser. I reached into the open drawer and tugged one of his cotton Army t-shirts over my matted sex hair. It didn’t quite hit my knees, but I deemed it good enough. Before I could turn to face Steve, his strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I turned to nuzzle into the crook of his neck as he pressed cooing kisses to my temple.

“Wanna sleep in here tonight?” Steve suggested, his tone seeming extremely quiet in juxtapose to our earlier clamor. I nodded, too tired to go anywhere else, and allowed him to lead me back to the bed. The sheets were still messy and unraveled and some pillows were tossed to the floor, but it didn’t matter much since we would just mess it up again in our sleep anyway. Suddenly I was shy, approaching the same mattress we’d just come undone on with a drastically different atmosphere.

Steve pulled the sheet we’d ruined off and tossed it in a discarded ball to the floor before reoccupying my bed with the innocence of an angel who hadn’t just uttered some of the foulest words while fucking me into oblivion. I followed suit, curling up next to my boyfriend who pulled me even closer to his chest. Steve tugged my duvet to our necks as his hand crept above the shirt I’d stolen, wrapping around my waist with a conviction that said he’d been lying alone and waiting to hold me like this for a long time.

Our legs tangled together in a knot I wasn’t sure we’d undo anytime soon in a bid to keep each other close for as long as we could. His heartbeat slowed to a steady, comforting rate that pounded against my back like a drum. We sunk into the mattress like a cloud in our own personal heaven. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, finally feeling as though there wasn’t much else to do or say now that I finally got myself where I wanted to be and everything was right in the world, Steve cleared his throat. “I love you,” he whispered, his lips tickling my ear. Although his tone was low, he said those three little words we’d thrown around like balloons without the gravity Steve gave them now like he’d been biding his time on that, too. I turned to face him, still wrapped in his warm embrace, with a soft smile and a calm bliss I hadn’t felt in a long time. “And I love you.”

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quxntumvandyne · 5 years

Text

Neighbors: *Chapter 5* (Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Masterlist

Words: 6.2k (i’m sorry)

Warnings: torturing of reader, blood, cursing and of course fluff

Summary: These powers had come not too long before Mr. Stark had found you and taken you in as a new part of the team. However, you didn’t know much at all and had nobody to confide in besides Wanda. You felt alone and like nobody understood you. Until you heard his screams in the middle of the night. You had the urge to help your new neighbor; but did he want your help?

A/N: i cannot believe the day is here, neighbors is over!! i have loved writing this story and it is my first born chapter fic lol. i hope you all love what i’ve done with the story and have enjoyed reading it, you guys are the best! heres to one last hoorah. xoxo, lena

. . . . .

“James.” You held his face in your hands, his hands touching yours. “We are out of time. I know you’ll find me. We found each other once before, we will again.”

Thud.

You jolted awake and opened your eyes. You tried to move your arms and realized that they were tied down, and so were your legs. You also couldn’t see anything, meaning you must have a blindfold on. Your hearing was your strongest sense right now but anything you did hear was faint. A wave of dizziness fell over you, and your head felt like it would burst at any moment. You moved your mouth when whimpering from the pain and realized that your nose was running, but you could only taste blood.

Where the hell am I?

“Roscoe, she’s conscious,” you heard a voice next to you say.

You heard felt the presence of only a couple people, the man who was sitting awfully close to you and another one on your left, but one right in front of your face. The breath hitting your face was cold and you tried to look in that direction but you just hung your head low, due to the pain from your headache.

I must have a concussion, you thought to yourself.

“How is our passenger? Not so strong without your special powers, huh?” Roscoe said spitting in your face.

You were too weak right now to use your powers even if you wanted to, so you retaliated in the best way you could at that moment.

You spit right back into his, knowing you got some blood on him; before you could even smirk, you were punched in the jaw, sending pain jolting all over and more blood in your mouth. It didn’t feel completely broken but it could’ve felt a lot better.

“Do it again, and I won’t be so gentle next time. I could’ve killed you,” Roscoe said.

You turned your face back to his voice, “But you won’t.”

You felt his hand grab your chin and as you winced, he brought you closer to him, almost touching noses.

“And why are you so sure about that?”

“Because you want me alive, to keep. As a weapon. I’m not stupid, Roscoe. Give a girl some credit.”

He grunted and pushed you back into your seat which is when you noticed that you had definitely dislocated your shoulder and had a concussion.

The HYDRA agents must’ve been beating you while you were unconscious on the helicopter.

“20 minutes out, boss.”

“Make it 15, I want to get her in the facility already and begin.”

Your stomach dropped, knowing that couldn’t have meant anything good. You weren’t ever sure how long you had been on the helicopter, but it could’ve been hours.

Everything began to come back into your memory on how you got here, what had happened and why.

James.

You had to keep yourself from crying, trying to imagine what he must feel like right now and how empty you both are from being away from one another. You’d only been at the facility for 2 months now but you’d never made such a strong and important connection with people like you did with the Avengers. But James made you feel something different; something that meant more, that could evolve. He was the person you never knew you needed in your life but never wanted to let go now that he was here. You let one tear run down your face, thinking about Steve and Tony trying to console him but getting nowhere. You knew Bucky; he barely got sleep at it is, but now that you’ve been taken, he wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon. Trying to gather your thoughts was difficult, especially when you couldn’t focus on much other than the amount of pain that was surging on every bone in your body but you made the mistake of sniffling.

You hear Roscoe turn around and walk back to you. “Tears?”

He laughed at you and then grabbed your throat. “I always knew you were weak. Just like your mother.”

You barely knew your mother but what you did know of her was only good things. Roscoe’s comment immediate sent you into a blind rage and you pushed on your restraints, lunging forward as far as you could before the guards held you back.

“You knew nothing about her!”

“I trusted her! And your father!” he shouted at you. You were surprised by the passion in his voice, as were his guards momentarily but you didn’t notice since you couldn’t see them.

He was standing farther away from you now, but you sensed regret and pain in his voice. Your parents had hurt him, obvious from his feelings of betrayal.

“I’m not my parents. I am my own person, but can’t you forgive and forget, can you? You’re just hung on the past, which you can’t control and can never change.”

This time he punched you so hard, you passed out and became limp. It was the last thing you remembered before waking up again, not knowing how much time had past.

Roscoe sneered and shook his hand, aching from punching you. He watched you bent over in your seat, still tied up but head down and unmoving. At this point, he didn’t care much whether you lived or died; he just wanted you to feel the pain that he felt all those years ago by the ones who created you.

“How far out?” he asked the pilot.

“5 minutes sir.”

“Good. Time to get started.”

. . . . .

Bucky’s POV

Nothing, you thought nothing could hurt worse than what you had already been through with your years as the Winter Soldier, being torn apart and put back together again. Over and over; but truly nothing hurt worse than losing her.

Watching her being torn away from you, with Steve and Natasha holding you back. They knew what they were doing because you were acting out of emotions, but that made you fight even harder to get to her.

You couldn’t protect the one thing you never knew you needed but now didn’t and couldn’t live without.

“Buck?”

You realized you were staring off into space just thinking when Steve caught your attention. You had been sitting in your room, just thinking. The facility was already being rebuilt and it had been two weeks since she had been taken. Parts of the team were still resting and recovering so you weren’t ready to start planning on how to get her back. You looked up at Steve and then put your head in your hands.

“Buck, you have to stop being so hard on yourself,” he said, putting a hand on your shoulder.

“How can I? She gave herself up to save Tony and Peter and I couldn’t even save her. Now she’s gone and there doesn’t seem to be much that I can do about it.”

“Don’t start yourself on thinking that she’s dead. We don’t know that; there is hope.”

You sinisterly chuckled at him, “How are you so optimistic all the time?”

“I thought it was like our thing, I’m the serious yet look-at-the-bright-side one and you’re the angry and ‘i’ll push you in front of a bus if you look at me wrong’ one.”

You looked at him, quizzically. “You have been spending too much time with Parker.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?”

You laughed for real this time, thankful to always have a friend like Steve.

“You know, I thought at our age we’d never have girlfriends.”

You choked a little bit and turned red, never imagining those would be the next words out of your best friends’ mouth.

“Girlfriend?” you managed to choke out.

“Uh yea, isn’t she?” Steve asked. He looked at your face, realizing that you haven’t even noticed that the two of you like one another. “Buck, you’re an idiot.”

“What?”

“She’s totally in love with you. Even I can tell. Maybe you need to spend some time with Parker and get up to speed. He shows me these things called ‘memes’? Some are actually kind of funny, especially the ones he made about you,” he said, none of it making sense to you.

He walked over to the door and stopped it with a hand in his pocket and the other on the door frame.

“We’re gonna find her Buck. Get some rest, I know you haven’t slept.”

“Doing my best on that part,” you said, rubbing your eyes.

“Do better,” he said and walked out of the room.

You sighed, knowing he was right but when was he not right. You needed to stop thinking about it but the day she became your neighbor, she was constantly on your mind. She was different but in a good way, she understood you like no else but Steve did. In some way that even Steve didn’t. She now meant so much you to and you would stop at nothing to rescue her.

But you can’t do that without being at your fullest potential, you thought to yourself.

It was late so you decided to go and get a workout in but when you got there, Wanda was already there. She looked exhausted and had bags under her eyes as well, with an emotionless face. She was using one of the punching bags and seemed to be in her own world. You walked over to stand behind it and as you did, she noticed you but continued to punch the bag.

“What are you doing up?”

“You know I’m always up.”

“I meant, you should be resting. We’re starting the mission tomorrow.”

“Shouldn’t that mean you should be asleep too?” you asked her.

She stopped and glared at you.

“Wanda, you don’t have to be snarky. I know we should both be asleep because-”

“Because we lost her? And there’s nothing for us to do about it?” she said, her voice cracking on the word nothing.

You looked at her and she kept talking, “We don’t even know if she’s alive or dead, being tortured or what and we have no plan-”

“Wanda.”

“What?” she looked at you with tears streaming down her face. She was Wanda’s best friend at the complex, the first one she knew besides Tony. You walked toward her and pulled her into a hug.

“We have to try to be confident and optimistic that we’ll get her back. She’s strong and she can survive this. I know she will.”

“What will we do if we don’t?”

“At this point we can’t think like that and we have to believe she’s strong enough to survive whatever they might be doing to her.

She sniffled and pulled out of the hug. She wiped her eyes, pointed at you and said, “This doesn’t leave this room.”

“What doesn’t?”

“My moment of weakness.”

You both laughed for a moment and you said, “Note taken.”

Wanda returned to her punching bag and you went over to a treadmill to just run for a while and clear your mind and the two of you worked out together in agreed silence.

As you were leaving, you heard a voice behind you.

“Bucky?”

You turned around to see Wanda undoing her wraps from her hands.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

You smirked at her, knowing that was exactly what she needed. “Any time.”

You walked out of the room, both of you thankful to have friends like each other and even more motivated to start planning a rescue mission in the morning.

. . . . .

“So we don’t have any way to track that helicopter?” You asked.

“Not that we know of unless anyone has any ability to locate it with some other form of technology,” Steve said.

You, Steve, and Tony were all up early that morning, talking about what we could do to try and find where the helicopter took her. You only got about 3 hours of sleep last night without nightmares, which is better than some nights but never great.

It had been two months since she was taken from you and you were no closer to finding her. Everything was just one big question mark and you wished you could have all the answers, but it was never that easy.

The rest of the team was getting back into fighting shape except for Tony, Peter, and Sam who all got hurt pretty badly. Sam had extensive injuries from battle three agents on his own and took down two but got blows from the last one that left him in a coma. He had been in that state since that battle two months ago and we’ve seen little improvement but hoping for the best. It was rough to have Sam be like this on top of Y/N being gone but you had to hold it together, for the both of them.

“How are we gonna pull this off then?”

“We need to find records of every existing HYDRA base that we know of and narrow it done the best that we can,” Steve suggested.

“There’s not much else we can do until we get more information,” Tony said rubbing his eyes and forehead in frustration.

You sighed and slid down in your chair, the feeling of sorrow and disappointment wash over you.

Suddenly, F.R.I.D.A.Y. came on over the intercom in the conference room the three of were in.

“Boss, Sam Wilson’s vitals have changed. He seems to be improving and is showing regular brain activity.”

The three of you all looked at each other and raced out the door to get to Sam’s room. When you got there, below all the wires and tubes, Sam was awake and starting pulling wires off of himself.

“Sam?” you asked.

“Can someone get me out of all of this shit?” Sam said with a raspy and barely audible voice, already removing his breathing tube and some wires.

You and Steve looked at each other and said, “Yep, he’s fine.”

Tony had F.R.I.D.A.Y. check to see how he’s doing and recommends that he is to still stay rested from having a concussion and broken wrist. You and Steve tell Sam about what has happened since he was knocked unconscious, about how she was taken and we have no way of getting her back. He then was starting to doze off at the end of explaining, so you three left and decided to let him rest until the next day when he was feeling more lively.

The next morning Sam was much more responsive and like himself so you did a recap of what you told him yesterday, and how you were at a dead end.

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

That made all three of you stop after he said it so nonchalantly.

“What are we wrong about exactly?” Tony asked Sam.

“That there’s no way we can get her back.”

“What are you saying?” Steve said.

“When I saw the helicopter coming out, I thought something would happen. I didn’t know what but I didn’t have a good feeling about it. So I sent Red Wing to attach itself to the bottom of it and track it. Her location is should be connected to my suit.”

He almost said it as casually as talking about the weather. You, Steve and Tony all looked at each other and then back at Sam.

“What? I’m not an idiot.”

“Are you serious?” you said, standing up and putting both hands on your forehead, pushing hairs out of your face.

“Dude, do I ever joke?”

“Too much. Why do you think I’m asking?”

“Yes I’m serious, if you get my suit I can show you how to access the location,” Sam said, smirking at you.

“Sam, you’re a genius,” Steve said, leaving to go get Sam’s wings to get her location.

“Even I didn’t think of it, kudos Pigeon Man,” Tony said while unplugging wires.

“I just got out of a coma and you’re already making pigeon jokes again?”

“Hey, I don’t waste time.”

“You probably didn’t think of it because you were getting the shit beat outta you.”

“Looks who talking.”

You were still in a state of shock as the two men made fun of one another, realizing that you now had a real chance of getting her back. Just then Wanda and the rest of the team came in to see Sam. Steve returned with his wings and Sam slowly sat up, wincing from the pain you know he was experiencing. You don’t mention it because it’ll only cause Sam to tell you to shut up so you impatiently wait for him to finish.

“She’s in Maine. Right at the border of Canada,” he said, giving it back to Steve and lying back down.

“Dude, I could kiss you right now.”

“Don’t make it weird man, leave that for your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, Sam.”

“Uh huh, okay man.”

“Woah, hold on.” Wanda looked at you in confusion, “What’s going on?”

You smiled at her, which was weird because you hadn’t smiled in weeks but this was the perfect time to get excited and motivated more than anything.

“We’re getting her back.”

. . . . .

Snapshots of light and faces were all you could remember at this point, besides the pain. The excruciating pain that you felt every second that you laid on that table in that dark room with Roscoe. You knew that he was loving every second of this, finally getting his revenge.

You had barely moved from this table, only allowed to do so when given the small amounts of food you got every 2 days and to use the bathroom, but you were tied up almost 24 hours a day, or at least for what you could comprehend. You were under twenty-four-hour supervision but most of the time, you were unconscious from your body not being able to handle the pain. You knew that even if you made it out of this, it would be a long road to recovery.

You shifted your wrists slightly, doing yourself no good by not only catching the attention of your twenty-four seven guards but causing even more pain to surge throughout your entire body. Your wrists had cuts and scars on them from the restraints rubbing on your skin, as well as your ankles and stomach. They only kept you in a tank top and pants and it was freezing cold, so you had a constant headache from shivering. You had lost so much weight over these past two months that you could see bones and feel bones that you could never feel before. You felt like a skeleton, nothing remaining of who you were before you were taken and you could barely remember anything but pain.

You constantly got flashes of the two people who you missed the most and wished every day to be reunited with them. You tried pushing the thought away because it only ever made you want to cry but you were so dehydrated that you couldn’t risk it.

Bzzz-bzzzz.

You turned your head to the guard, who looked at you and then turned around while the other one watched you. He took his radio off his belt and listened to the radio static just as Roscoe walked in, with ten guards following him into your room.

“Sir, what’s the issue?” one of the guards asked Roscoe.

He glared at you and then looked at the guards. “We’ve been ambushed. Those incompetent pricks called the Avengers are here,” he said looking at you. “And I know just what they’re here for.”

“You’re not taking her anywhere.”

That was a voice that you had been desperately waiting to hear for months, and you immediately burst into tears as soon as you saw his face. He looked exhausted but enraged, knowing that he would wreak havoc on all these agents; but he was alone.

“And why are you so sure about that?”

“Because you’re going to take me instead.”

No, no he can’t be serious.

Everyone watched James in shock, as he lay down his weapon and held his hands up in surrender to save your life. You began to try and free yourself from the restraint, using what little energy you had left to muster up.

Bucky’s eyes shifted to yours and one tear fell down his cheek, making your throat croak aloud with agony, wishing he would stop moving forward towards the guards to allow them to restrain him as well. Two of the guards grabbed his arms and held them behind his back, as Roscoe stood in front of him.

“I knew you were strong Barnes, but never took you for an idiot. All this for that?” he said, pointing at your frail and almost lifeless body.

He looked at Roscoe and faster than you could comprehend, he punched him in the nose, causing him to stumble backward.

“She is the sun. You have pushed your head so far up your ass that you can’t even see what she has to offer this world and how truly beautiful she is, no matter how much you attempt to tear her down. She is, truly, everything to me.”

You were still on the table, just listening to James talk, knowing that every word he just said was completely true. Neither of you knew how much you needed one another until you couldn’t have one another. It was agonizing to be apart but now it would be for even longer, maybe forever.

“James,” you managed to squeak out, the first word you had spoken in two months.

He looked over at you, happier than ever to hear your voice and know that you’re alive.

“It’s okay, doll. It’ll be okay. You’re okay now,” he said, just before everything turned to chaos in the entire HYDRA base. “We won’t be here much longer.”

Steve and Tony burst through the doors, both in full armor and suits, and sprung into action by taking down all 12 HYDRA agents together. In the hallway, the walls were lined with guards that the rest of the team was now taking on, noise filling the halls keeping the fight away from your room so you could escape. Bucky had taken down the two agents holding him and finds Roscoe trying to stay out of it. All it takes it one blow from Bucky’s left arm and he’s out cold.

He pushes his hair out of his face and remembers what he was truly here to do.

You run over to your table and tears well up in both your eyes, just seeing how you both look. He began to unstrap the restraints, your wrists and ankles have gone red and scarred from the rubbing. He helped you slowly sit up at Steve and Tony take out the last two guards in the room and head over to you.

“Buck, you got her?” Steve said.

“Yeah, I got her,” he said, his eyes not leaving yours. He looked at them both and said, “Go.”

They give you both a nod of confirmation and take off to help with the fight outside.

Every single part of your body hurt but you could only focus on James.

“How did you find me?”

“Sam sent Red Wing to attach itself to the helicopter and it tracked you all the way here. He was hurt in the battle at the complex badly and was in a coma until 2 days ago. We had no idea until he woke up.”

“Smart man.”

“We owe him everything.”

Bucky put his left arm underneath your legs and his right scooped underneath your arms and on your back. He lifted you up, as your body went numb and you could only feel his body touching yours.

“Doll, I need you to stay awake for me, okay?”

“Bucky…”

“Please, babydoll. Eyes open, keep talking to me.”

You looked at him, his scruffy beard hair growing back and his hair shading his face in the dim halls. You forgot how easy he was to look at.

“Did you mean everything you said back there?” you asked. You knew Bucky was a man of his word, but you needed to hear him say it.

“Every single damn word,” he said, kissing your forehead gently and letting your head fall into his shoulder.

Despite everything that had happened up until this point, you had never felt safer in his arms.

It was utter chaos all around you but every guard that tried to touch you or James was taken down by an Avenger so you could pass through untouched; at least at first.

At the end of the hallway where the exit was to the jet were eight more guards headed your way.

Bucky stopped and looked behind him to see only more and knew he had no choice but to fight them.

He set you down to sit up against the wall, just as Wanda came over to help him fight.

“Oh my god Y/N.”

“I’ve looked better, right?” you joked, trying to seem better than you were.

She chuckled at you, “Just sit tight okay?”

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, at least not without help,” you replied, your voice cracking on some words from not talking.

Wanda and Bucky stood back to back and prepared themselves to fight, just as the first guard attempted to land a blow on Wanda. The two moved so well in sync during battle, like they had rehearsed it. All you could do was watch until you felt two hands wrap harshly around your arms and pull you on the ground back to the room. It was Roscoe, pulling you away from Bucky, but only turning around to find every other Avenger besides Bucky and Wanda. They formed a wall to keep him from getting by with you and before he could even say a word, Vision took you and Tony blasted Roscoe into his guards, sending them all toppling to the ground, Roscoe was now dead weight. Literally. Vision looked at you with deep concern, but said, “You are going to be alright now, Miss L/N.”

“Thanks, Vis,” you croaked.

Bucky came back over, now with a cut on his cheek, but seemed fine otherwise.

“Your cheek.”

“Just a small cut, don’t worry about me doll,” he told you walking next to Vision with you towards the jet.

Clint sent one last arrow into the shoulder of the last guard and they all walked out of the base together, a team once more. You felt yourself doze off and could hear voices faintly but dizziness overcame you and you were once again engulfed in darkness.

. . . . .

“Vital signs are weak but improved from yesterday, Boss. Responsive and eating after surgery and will need bed rest to fully recover, as well as physical therapy to regain 95% ability in her right shoulder.”

“Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y., cook up something yummy for our girl, huh?”

“Of course, boss.”

Tony sat at the edge of your bed, as you laid in it, knowing you looked like hell. Bucky was asleep on a cot next to your bed, unmoving with even breathing.

“That’s the best I’ve ever seen him sleep,” Tony said. “You did something to him, changed him for the better.” He put a hand on your forearm, “I saw something in you that day. I knew that you were different, a fighter. You survived what most people couldn’t; your body changed so drastically but you made a remarkable comeback so far, kid.”

He stood up to let you rest with Bucky but not before turning around with his hands in the pockets of his slacks, “Just know that I’ve always been in your corner and you will always be a part of the team. You’re family now.”

You smiled at him, and he smiled back before leaving the room.

When you were first put on the jet back home, you were frail and weak but since then, you had gained back some weight, you could finally walk on your own and you started to look like and feel like yourself again.

It was undeniable that Roscoe took something from you that you would never be able to get back. A piece of you lost in translation through pain and a state of subconsciousness. You felt your body be pushed and punched and kicked in ways you didn’t know it could handle and you had convinced yourself that if they hadn’t come when they did, you surely would not have survived much longer.

You dozed off to sleep once more, just for a while but had a small flashback to getting on the jet and telling everyone what had happened.

“Hey hon,” you heard someone say. It was Natasha, gently brushing the stiff and matted hair from your face and she was cleaning your face to see how badly your cuts were. Everyone else was either watching or asleep, waiting to see if you were conscious.

“Mmm,” you replied wincing from the alcohol touching the cut on your chin.

“I know hon, they’ve already put you through enough pain. I hate to cause more but you start to feel so much better after this, okay?”

Wanda was sitting next to you, holding your hand and rubbing circles on the back of your hands and fingers, knowing she could feel every bone in your hand. You moved slightly and realized you were leaned up against a person behind you; opening your eyes, you saw a part of black cargo pants and boots.

James.

He had his arms on your stomach, snaking underneath your own to keep you upright as Natasha cleaned you up. The more she did, the more conscious you became, and soon enough your eyes were completely open and you were talking in the raspy voice that had developed since you had been in that room.

“Can I see my face?”

Natasha stopped and Wanda looked at you with concern; you even felt Bucky stiffen slightly before relaxing. You knew they didn’t want to freak you out but you hadn’t even seen your own face in over two months.

“Let me finish cleaning your face first, okay?” Natasha asked and you obliged. She only took about five more minutes and then Wanda went to retrieve a mirror. She held it to her chest first, asking you again to make sure that you wanted to look.

“Yes, please.”

“Okay.”

She handed you the mirror and you kept it turned around for a second, questioning whether or not you could actually turn it around yourself.

Bucky could sense your hesitation, lifting his own hands up and turning it for you.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you saw. Your hair was matted down to your head that you knew you would either have to cut it short or just shave it, your eyes had several dark bags underneath them with your right eyelid swollen and you had blood stains all over your face. The cut on your chin would probably leave stitches and you would have a scar, as goes for the long cut on your jaw. Your nose was misshapen from the constant blows to it and it would most likely never look the same. You barely recognized the person in the mirror but you knew that you would live with the reminder of this for the rest of your life.

Not only mentally and emotionally, but in a large way, physically.

Your eyes then shifted to a tired yet happy James. The cut on his cheek had close up nicely, and he looked like the same old Bucky from two months ago but you knew he wasn’t the same either. None of you would be; this took a toll on every member of the team.

You handed the mirror back to Wanda, telling her thank you and her nodding her head, with a pitiful smirk.

Natasha then started to clean the dried blood off your arms and looked down, seeing just how much they had hurt you. You must’ve been asleep when they reset your ankle and shoulder, knowing you’d had to have major surgery to repair the long-ignored damage to them. You must’ve weighed thirty-five pounds less than what you did before, being able to feel every rib as you were breathing.

“I need to talk,” you said out of the blue. Everyone’s eyes were now on you again as you suddenly spoke, all confused by the statement. “About it.”

Natasha laid a hand on yours, “You don’t need to do that hon, you-”

“No, I do. I don’t want to keep what happened to me bottled up. If you don’t want to hear it then fine, don’t listen but I need to say it to come to terms with it.”

Everyone silently agreed to let you speak, with Sam saying, “Have at it.”

You told them everything you could remember, what kept you going, who hurt you, and what everything felt like. You told them how you wished to never feel such pain again and most importantly how thankful you were for your family. Tears were finding their way down your cheeks as you spoke, as did everyone else's. Not a single person wasn’t emotional, hearing you talk about what they had done to you.

Bucky kissed your head, knowing that he could only help you so much with this but it was truly your battle to fight. And he knew that you.

You had helped him and now it was his turn to help you. You finished talking about your experience and everyone was silent for a solid minute.

“Thank you,” you whispered at Natasha.

Natasha held your other hand and said, “No, thank you. Thank you for being so strong and surviving long enough for us to get you. You are a warrior and one of the strongest people I know. And I am proud to be your teammate and your friend, Y/N.”

A collective agreement causing your heart to fill with so much love and gratitude, and you could never let them all know how much they really meant to you.

Especially one person.

Your person.

. . . . .

“Is turkey okay?”

“As long as you have grapes, I’m fine with whatever else is in that basket.”

“You’re cute, you know that?”

“Shut up,” you told Bucky.

Six months had passed since that day on the jet back home and you finally felt more like your old self than ever. You had regained full ability in your shoulder and you could begin to run again on your ankle, meaning you could start training again. Many psychological evaluations had been done on you to make sure you were truly ready for it, but you told yourself you might never be ready unless you just throw yourself back into it.

You and James walked hand in hand down the lake at the new remodeled Avengers complex, to sit and have a picnic for your six month anniversary and set everything down at the edge of the dock.

The day you were rescued was the day you both knew for sure that you were made for each other. You wished it wouldn’t have taken what it took for you two to happen but nevertheless, you were thankful.

James’ nightmares have reduced significantly with your help and having you back but yours have only gotten worse. Sleeping through the night was a miracle but with James’ help, you never felt unsafe any more. Especially since you were in the same room now.

Life would never be the same but you had come to terms with that now, for better or for worse.

“You okay?”

James waved a hand in front of your face, and laughed at you, realizing you had been staring off into space. You blushed and nudged him to make him stop laughing, to which he nudged you right back. He then began to nudge you again and you back away trying to get out of his grasp, laughing madly the whole time, until your foot was at the edge of the dock. Gravity took control and you almost fell in before James grabbed you left hand and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you back in. You were nose to nose now, feeling his warm breath on your face and staring so deeply into those blue eyes that you might melt.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime, doll.”

You leaned forward and kissed him, always getting the same rush as before every time that you do. He made you feel all kinds of beautiful, always knowing the right thing to say or do. He put his hands on your face and you wrapped yours around his waist before pulling away.

“10 months ago I never thought this would happen,” Bucky said before kissing your forehead.

“Neither did I.”

You two walked back over to sit on the edge of the dock, with you laying your head on his shoulder and his head on yours. You sit in silence, just staring at the calm lake, enjoying each others company.

“Hey, doll?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so glad that you were my neighbor.”

You smiled and said, “Me too.”

. . . . .

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neighbors taglist: @condy-wants-a-cookie @sorry-im-so-annoying @meyoko10 @thatonefangurly @talinalani @straya4lifemate@stupendoussciencenaturepanda @danisnotahufflepuff@ultramagicaltacofandom @imarockstar45 @keshuasd @buttercuptea@imdoingathingmom @thanosismybitxh @voodoodollgirl9 @hawaiiantozier @yafriendlyfangirl @silverfountain

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 5 years

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top five/ten fics you read this year?

obviously I meant to answer this over a month ago when I posted about my own fics from 2018 and clearly that DID NOT HAPPEN, so…whatever. @scintillatingshortgirl19 also asked specifically about my top Loki fics for 2018, so I was thinking I would stick those in the answer to that ask and limit my answer to non-MCU fics for this one, but then I actually looked through my bookmarks (a goal for 2019: be much better about using my AO3 bookmarks, because as far as I know, giving kudos does nothing for my ability to find a fic later) and some of my history, and I quickly discovered I could not do that because I…pretty much only read Loki fic last year. so, whatever, this is just going to be my top several Loki fics/writers I read in 2018, plus a few non-MCU ones.

Will to Live by…you! After Thanos, the Grandmaster agrees to bring Loki back to life–but there’s a price, and Thor isn’t the one paying it. there’s just…so much I love about this fic. the premise is great, full of whump and angst, but there are also a ton of smaller things that quickly made this one of my favorite (and most often re-read) Loki fics ever–like the double meaning in the title, and the Stormbreaker headcanon, and all the interactions between characters I wasn’t necessarily expecting to see (did I love Natasha’s role in general, and her and Steve being willing to help, and Wanda’s understanding and compassion? you bet I did), and Valkyrie being her amazing self, and the fact that this fic is so…crunchy and meaty in its explorations of trauma and recovery. (honorable mention to drown my woes in a lake of fire, which is part of a series and is also aaaaaalllll about what it looks like when someone’s theoretically been rescued from trauma. I kept getting choked up reading this because I knew what was going on long before Thor did, and Loki’s fear was so…raw and heartbreaking.)

Every Moment We Teeter by @anamelessdragon. Loki dies on the Statesman and wakes up on Sakaar. godddd this fic is so good; like “Will to Live,” it quickly became one of my favorite Loki fics ever, and I’ve re-read it several times. the whump and angst alone are just, WOW, A+. I love a good “repetitive death experiences” fic anyway and this is a particularly great one, and for some reason the explicit reference to video game save points makes it even better in a metafictional kind of way. (honestly, the fact that game characters can die horribly and just restart or respawn is ripe for exploration of what it would be like to experience that and still retain the memories of each death, so I’m predisposed to love anything that digs into that idea.) in general I’m really glad to have found this author, because her WIP Compression is great too.

my reasons for defying reason by @gaslightgallows, a great IW fix-it. There’s also The Convalescent Way, of course, which is a wonderful post-Ragnarok longfic that introduced me to Loki/Valkyrie as a great new ship, although going by the publication date I think I started that one in late 2017. plus, for reasons that are probably obvious, good IW fix-it fics kind of…stand out to me.

On Our Terms (WIP) by @loxxxlay. Grandthorki, as defined by Echo, is a small ship but it’s a fascinating dynamic just full of possibilities for trauma, so it’s probably not much of a surprise that this one is just…full of ouch. Loki in particular is heartbreaking here–his despair is palpable, but he’s still doing what he can to protect Thor in his own way, even when Thor doesn’t recognize that.

Gave You Every Piece of Me by @iamanartichoke. another new-to-me author and all-around A+ person. I found her work through Sanctuary, a much longer post-Ragnarok Loki/Valkyrie fic (have I had occasional problems remembering which events/headcanons/backstories were in this one and which were in The Convalescent Way, despite the fact that they’re very different stories? yes, my brain is useless that way), and I loved that and its in-progress sequel. The Grandthorki fic kind of stands out to me though, I think because it makes such good use of minor details to show the characters’ emotional states, and I love the way it’s structured between past and present. also in general I apparently have a thing for fics where the whole point is digging deeply into trauma and recovery, possibly because I have no idea how to write recovery myself. (honorable mention to Courage of Stars, which is a post-IW fic that isn’t a fix-it and is therefore very sad, but I think it’s also the first one I saw that laid out a reasonable motive for Loki’s last-ditch attack on Thanos that wasn’t “he was dumb and he really thought he could kill Thanos with a knife.)

The Shining Sun by @theotherodinson. A great little IW fix-it that is, once again, all about slow recovery from trauma.

Oh, Hey There, Mister Blue by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid. this one started as IW speculation before the movie ever came out, but in general it makes a wonderful AU where Loki actually gets to, you know, do things, including some really wonderful Guardians interaction and an immensely satisfying showdown with Ebony Maw. this is another new-to-me author I’m really glad I discovered; her much shorter IW fix-it Undying is also very good, and I’m loving her current WIP, in which a post-IW Loki crash-lands in Hell’s Kitchen and becomes a new headache for Claire Temple and Jessica Jones (so it’s great for that reason alone, but it’s also an intense street-level look at how much more terrifying and chaotic the Snap would’ve been for ordinary people who didn’t have a clue what was going on).

atonement by foolondahill17. more IW speculation based on the trailer, where Loki surrenders himself to Thanos and things go downhill from there. this one hasn’t been updated in several months and the author may have abandoned it after IW actually came out, which is sad because it was a great AU. what’s there is still worth reading, though, because it has a lot of good Loki whump and interaction with other characters, especially his connection with Wanda.

Those Flames That Did Rise by ScribeOfRhapsody. Loki and Bucky survive the Snap; Steve and Thor don’t. I’m kind of invested now in Loki and Bucky having a weird friendship, and seeing them come together in their shared grief and fury is fascinating.

top non-MCU fics in I read in 2018:

Lie Down Weeping at Nightfall by @ameliarating (Doctrine of Labyrinths). Mildmay POV has to be difficult no matter what, and this is a beautifully written look at his state of mind when (SPOILERS) Malkar had him in the Bastion. (also, I’m very much here for him seeing in Malkar the reasons Felix acts the way he does.)

memorial by larkspear (Silent Hill 3). I went looking for fic after I finished Silent Hill 2 and 3, and I found some longer ones that I haven’t read yet. This is a very short but powerful post-game fic from Heather/Sheryl’s perspective–the format is really cool and it’s a great look at her dark sense of humor, her strength, and the trauma she went through in the game.

The Heart of Light by @portraitoftheoddity (Doctrine of Labyrinths). whump and angst for both Felix and Mildmay. really, what more could a person ask for

The Wound and the Dagger by @gaslightgallows (Crimson Peak). I wrote a tiny bit of a Crimson Peak AU where Thomas survives, for obvious reasons. this one is actually complete! and good!

#veliseraptor #conversations #fanfic #fic rec #marvel cinematic universe #loki #doctrine of labyrinths #silent hill 3 #crimson peak

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rose-gold-romantic · 5 years

Text

Whatever It Takes: Chapter Five

A Loki x Reader based in the Tesseract fic universe! Avengers: Infinity War follow-up fic. Next in the Tesseract fic series. Links to Tesseract, Lokasenna, What Heroes Do, and Fidelity. Also to my AU Feel You.

I WOULD LOVE FEEDBACK! Want to be tagged in updates? Let me know!

@malignentmac @fandomsfanman @i-am-supermerwholoked221b @markusstrayya @sincereleygmg @pandaqua @person-born-winchester

Just a forewarning, this one has a major POV shift from the past entries, since Reader was Dusted at the end of Fidelity! Keeping with my recent trend in fic titles, it’s named after a track on the official soundtrack. I also constantly watch this Video, and recommend it to hype you up!

In the years that followed, the rest of our people returned to us. Thor was still inconsolable, and I took up the brief responsibility of choosing a place to begin New Asgard. It took little time to decide on the area in Norway where we had last seen Odin before he died. After five years had passed, Earth had settled into its new normal. Entire areas sat abandoned, but people continued to live on.

Thor refused all of my offerings of help. I couldn’t even imagine the pain he felt, believing that he was the only reason that Thanos had not been stopped. I had hoped that living in New Asgard for a time would help him recover, and in the meantime Thor opted to live in a smaller building, settling in with Korg and Meik as his companions. Leaving Val in charge of things for Thor, I spent much of my time surveying the areas of the Cosmos I could for the remaining Avengers.

While I was given the option of calling in via hologram, I often preferred to just come in person. I remained close to earth so Thor could call me should he have any need, so it was no great effort on my end to come in person.

One of these meetings was particularly tense. Natasha had made herself a sandwich after hearing my debrief, and Rocket began his.

“Yea, we boarded that highly suspect warship that Danvers pinged.” Rocket said, gesturing over to Danver’s hologram.

“It was an infectious garbage scowl.” Nebula continued.

“So, thanks for the hot tip.” Rocket said, irritated.

“Well,” Danvers sighed, “You were closer.”

“Yea.” Rocket agreed. “And we smell like garbage.”

Turning to Okoye, Natasha feigned a smile. “You get a reading on those tremors?”

“It was a mild subduction under the African plate.” Okoye stated plainly.

“Do we have a visual?” Natasha asked, “How are we handling it?”

“Nat, it’s an earthquake under the ocean.” Okoye said, “We handle it, by not handling it.”

“Carol,” Natasha said, trying to change the subject. “Are we seeing you here next month?”

“Not likely.” Danvers answered.

“What, are you gonna get a new haircut?” Rocket snarked, gesturing to her now close-cropped hair.

“Listen, fur-face. I’m covering a lot of territory.” Danvers snapped. “The things that are happening on Earth, are happening everywhere, on thousands of planets. Loki and I can’t do everything ourselves, but we’re making do with what we have.”

“You got a point.” Rocket mumbled, “You’ve got a point.”

“So, you might not see me for a long time.” Danvers continued to Natasha.

“Alright. Uh, well. This channel is always active.” Natasha said, “So, if anything goes sideways… anyone’s making trouble where they shouldn’t… it comes through me.”

“Okay.” Rocket said.

“Alright.” Natasha finished, as the other Avengers cut their calls off one by one.

“Good luck.” Danvers said, offering a half-smile before cutting off her own call.

Rhodey alone remained, watching as Natasha sat down with a heavy sigh.

“Where are you?” She asked him.

“Mexico.” He answered. “The federales found a room filled with bodies. Looks like a bunch of cartel guys. Never even had the chance to get their guns off.”

“It’s probably a rival gang.” Natasha defended, the topic setting her on edge.

“Except it isn’t.” Rhodey countered, causing Natasha’s face to fall. “It’s definitely Barton. What he’s done here, what he’s been doing for the last few years… I mean, the scene that he left… I gotta tell you, there’s a part of me that doesn’t even want to find him.”

Natasha took a small bite of her sandwich, tears welling in her eyes, and emotion choking her voice. “Will you find out where he’s going next?”

“Nat.”

“Please.” she insisted, holding back her tears as best she could.

“Okay.” Rhodey resigned reluctantly. His hologram call cut off, and Natasha let her tears fall more freely.

“I’m sorry.” I said, unsure of what else to say.

“We’ve all got a little bit of red in our ledgers.” She whispered, looking up to me with a wry smile. “Some of us have more than others, and just want to help others blot theirs out.”

“I’d offer to cook you dinner, but you seem pretty miserable already.” Steve tried to joke, coming in the room.

“Here to do your laundry?” Natasha smiled, picking at her sandwich.

“To see friends.” Steve replied warmly.

“Clearly, this friend is fine.” She said, trying to swallow her emotion.

“You know, I saw a pod of whales when I was coming up the bridge.” Steve said, hoping to change the subject.

“In the Hudson?” she replied, seemingly surprised.

“There’s fewer ships.” Steve explained, “Cleaner water.”

“You know, if you’re about to tell me to look on the bright side.” she said, trying to laugh. “I’m about to hit you in the head with a peanut butter sandwich.”

“Sorry.” Steve smiled, “Force of habit.” he threw his jacket down, and pulled up a chair to join Natasha and I.

“You know, I keep telling everyone they should move on and… grow.” he continued. “Some do. But not us.”

“If I move on, who does this?” She asked, gesturing to the empty holo-call panels.

“Maybe it doesn't need to be done.” Steve suggested gently.

“I used to have nothing.” She said shakily, “Then I got this. This job… this family. And I was… I was better because of it. And even though… they’re gone… I’m still trying to be better.”

“We all need to get a life.” Steve sighed.

“You first.” She countered, smiling.

The desk in front of us beeped, throwing up camera footage of a man with an old van behind him.

“Uh… Oh! Hi. Hi! Is anyone home? This is Scott Lang.” The man said, flustered. “We met a few years ago, at the airport? In Germany? I got really big, and I had my mask on. You wouldn’t recognize me.”

As Lang continued, my mind connected the fact that the man on the screen was one of the Avengers that had been listed as missing after the snap. Steve and I stood up at the same time, Natasha following suit.

“Is this an old message?” Steve asked, hope swelling up in his voice.

“It’s the front gate.” Natasha said, taken aback.

“I’ll be right back.” I said, teleporting to the front gate. I grabbed Lang by the shoulder, and then teleported back into the room where Steve and Natasha stood.

“Whoa, dude, warn me next time.” Lang said, stumbling once we arrived.

“Sorry.” I said, “I forget that people cannot always adjust to transportation so quickly.”

“Scott.” Steve said, walking up to Lang, who was now pacing. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, I’m fine.” Scott said, still pacing. “Have any of you ever studied Quantum Physics?”

“Only to make conversation.” Natasha joked, confused.

“Alright. So... five years ago, right before Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm. The Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe.” Scott explained, walking from one end of the room to the other. “To get in there, you have to be incredibly small. Hope, she's my... She was my…” he seemed to struggle to find the words, but settled on beginning a new sentence. “She was supposed to pull me out. And then Thanos happened, and I got stuck in there.”

“I’m sorry.” Natasha said, “That must have been a very long five years.”

“Yeah, but that’s just it.” Scott said, “For me, it was five hours.”

“How does that even work?” I asked, taken aback.

“See, the rules of the Quantum Realm aren’t like they are up here.” Scott continued, “Everything is unpredictable. Is that anybody’s sandwich? I’m starving!” He finished, taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Scott, what are you talking about?” Steve asked.

“What I’m saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm. The only problem is right now, we don’t have a way to navigate it. But what if we did? I can’t stop thinking about it.” Scott said, continuing to finish the sandwich. “What if there was a way to enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time, but then exit at another point in time? Like… Like before Thanos.”

“Wait, are you talking about a time machine?” Steve asked, disbelieving.

“No. No, of course not.” Scott clarified. “No, not a time machine. It’s more like a… Yeah, a time machine. I know it’s crazy. But I can’t stop thinking about it, there’s gotta be some way…. No it’s crazy.”

“I get e-mails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy anymore.” Natasha said.

“So who do we talk to about this?” Scott asked.

Nat and Steve shared a look, and I sighed.

“Stark.” I said.

#loki #loki x reader #endgame #marvel #fanfiction #tesseract #whatever it takes #rose gold romantic

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avengerscompound · 5 years

Text

Swipe Right - Chapter 4

Swipe Right: A Captain America Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous | Next For your POV

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 2100ish

Warnings: None for this chapter.

Synopsis: Steve is pulled away on a mission. When he comes home, he only wants to see you.

A/N: Re-uploading from @emilyevanston.

THERE ARE IMAGES IN THIS FIC THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO THE STORY.

Chapter 4

Steve had gone home from the date feeling good. He’d learned a lot about you, which surprised him considering how much he already knew thanks to how much you talked. Plans were made for the following Friday. Dinner and a movie. A little cliche maybe but he couldn’t just expect you to want to spend all the time in your apartment even if he did feel really comfortable there with you.

Of course, Sam had wanted all the details. The word of Steve dating had started spreading through the team had gotten word that this might actually be something serious and not just one of Sam’s stupid ideas that wasn’t going to work out.

“You didn’t kiss her? Come on, Cap. It’s a whole new millennium. You gotta go in for the kiss.” Tony scolded.

“Give him a break. You gotta set the pace that fits.” Sam argued.

“She said for me to go with my gut. I’m gonna do that if that’s okay with all of you.” Steve said. “It’s one of the things I like about her.”

“Wait… wait. Didn’t you say to me that you were the expert on taking to long?” Bruce asked.

“I won’t take too long. I’ve only been on two real dates.” Steve argued.

Tony snorted. “I’d have gotten laid eight times in two dates.”

“Oh, leave him be,” Natasha said. “She has autonomy too. If she thinks it’s going too slow she can nudge it along.”

Otherwise, it was just a normal week. That was until the signs of HYDRA infiltrating the three different multinationals. He and the others were going to have to weed them out and force their hand before the whole thing got out of control.

He’d never felt guilty about needing to go on a mission before. The only other relationships he’d had were with other people in the same position as him. Often they went on the missions with him. He felt terrible. He hated that he was letting you down. He hated he wasn’t going to be able to speak to you every day. Most of all he hated that you were almost definitely going to worry.

Steve looked over the briefing for the mission as he buckled up his suit. It wasn’t going to be quick that was for sure, but to narrow it down to a specific time wasn’t going to be easy either.

That guilt set in. He didn’t want you to worry about him. He knew what that felt like first hand. The feeling of helplessness. It wasn’t fun. He wasn’t sure what he could say that would take it away though.

The change in topic was startling and Steve had no idea what it meant. Were you not worried? Why did you want a photo of him in uniform? Those fears of you seeing him only as Captain America returned and he tried to push them away. He knew you. He knew you weren’t that.

He stepped in front of the mirror and took a photo feeling extremely uncomfortable. He was still not at all used to this trend of taking photos of yourself.

Steve started laughing. Just like that, his mind was put at ease. He could see what you were doing now. You were trying to let him know you were okay. So that he wouldn’t worry about you.

The mission dragged. He spent a lot of time indoors on comms while Natasha and Clint did the things they were good at. Tony drove him absolutely crazy as he paced the room using his tech to hack into different accounts and pull out details of plans. It was long and often boring but there was a blackout. They didn’t want to risk HYDRA realize they were there. So no personal communication.

He missed saying goodnight to you at night. He kept finding himself reaching for his phone every time it was his turn to sleep just to tell you goodnight.

When shit had finally hit the fan and the huge firefight had gone down, he was thankful. He could do fighting. Fighting meant not being cooped up. Fighting meant it was almost over.

The arrests were made and the team limped home. As soon as he got his phone back in his hand, before he even took off his uniform, and even though it was late, he texted you.

“Cap. What are you doing? We gotta debrief.” Sam said packing his wings away.

Steve looked over to him and blinked. Of course, they did. Not that he’d forgotten. He just wanted to put your mind at ease. “Yeah. Just letting her know I’m back.”

“Alright, loverboy. We all wanna go to bed though. So hurry it up.” He said.

Steve really, really wanted that too. It took a long time to debrief and he didn’t want you to stay up all night waiting for him. Especially, when really what he wanted was to see you again. To have that date that you missed out on.

Going to the farmers market sounded good, to be honest. A really normal couples thing to do. He knew that the Union Square one was a little safer for celebrities too. The New York rule of leaving people be, came in to play.

The debrief took hours and he was really glad he’d convinced you to go to sleep. After it was done he dragged himself to bed he passed out almost immediately. He woke as early as he always did and did his run by himself. Sam would take no part in going for a run after a mission. He once claimed it went against the natural order of things. After his run, he showered and caught the 6 train to Union Square.

He scanned the markets as he headed into them from the subway station. He spotted the stand and then you, standing scanning the crowd. He came up behind you and tapped your shoulder.

“Oh my god! Steve!” You yelped lunging forward and wrapping your arms around his waist. You hugged him tightly and for a split second, he was completely startled, just holding his hands out not sure what he should do. He wasn’t used to public displays of affection and generally, he wasn’t a huge fan of them. On top of that, the two of you was still just getting used to physical affection.

He knew he liked it though and he relaxed, welcoming it and wrapping his arms around you, melting into the embrace. He breathed you in happy to have you in his arms and to be back and safe. “I missed you.” He whispered.

“I missed you too.” You replied. “I kept checking my phone every morning, expecting my good morning message.”

Steve chuckled and nuzzled in a little against you, enjoying the warmth and closeness between you. “Mm… It felt very weird not saying goodnight to you when I got into bed.” You let each other go and he offered you an elbow as he looked down the farmer's markets. “Are we shopping for anything particularly?” He asked.

“Just some fruit and veg. There’s a place that does some really nice bread and I might get some cheese if it grabs my fancy.” You answered. “It usually does.”

He chuckled. “It is hard to resist.”

He walked with you slowly down the rows, stopping when you saw something you needed and putting it in one of your shopping bags. Steve loved how genuine this felt. How real. He carried one of your bags and stopped to try free samples always particularly liking when it was something he hadn’t tried before. While he had dated before, those people technically worked with him and they’d never just done something as mundane as grocery shopping before. That on top of being out in the sun, in his city, the Flatiron building so close as well as being in view of both the Empire State and Chrysler Buildings. He felt like a normal guy and he hadn’t felt like that in over 70 years.

“Can you talk about it?” You asked.

The question didn’t surprise him. He also couldn’t answer it. It was all ‘need to know’ and you were not ‘need to know’. He gave you the answer he gave anyone who asked. “The mission? Not really I’m afraid. It went as expected. There was a firefight. Minimal casualties. None on our side.”

“You’re okay though? I mean… you’re okay?” You asked him.

He looked down into your eyes and saw the concern there. He smiled softly both touched and hoping to reassure him. “Yeah. I’m okay. We do what we have to.” The sight of dozens of different chilis caught his eyes and he stopped to look at them. “Look at all these peppers? You think they’re hot?”

“Oh yeah.” You answered. “That one will burn a hole through your poor Irish tongue.” You added pointing to the basket of wrinkly red ghost peppers.

He laughed touching his chest. The fact you called back to his comment about his Irish parents touched him. “Well, I don’t want that.”

“No. How about instead we try all the different fruit butter in that stand there?” You said taking a blueberry out of the punnet you’d bought and tossing it at him. Your aim was terrible and while he did his best to compensate the berry just hit him in the cheek and bounced away. “Hawkeye, I am not.” You said as you both laughed.

“No. If you were Clint, I’d probably be dead right now. Would have choked on it.” He replied as you moved to the next stall.

You chuckled. “Well, just as well I’m no Hawkeye then.” You said and lifted a popsicle stick with a scrape of apple butter up to his mouth. He parted his lips and sucked the slightly tart apple butter from the stick as he gazed down at you. His eyes traced your lips as he thought back about the day you had spent together. How much he missed you while he was away. This felt like it. Now was the moment. “What?” You asked.

“I just… I really want to kiss you right now.” He said.

“You should go with your gut.” You replied.

He leaned down, hesitated for a moment and brought his lips to yours.

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #captain america #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #fluff #swipe right

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bellabottomtrousers · 5 years

Text

Undercover (Bucky Barnes x Reader) [Part 2]

Read Part 1 here

Fic Details:

2.1k words

Summary: This takes place outside of the MCU, but Bucky is still Bucky. You are a secret agent who is put on a mission with The Winter Soldier, someone who you do not get along with. You have to go undercover as a couple on your honeymoon.

Contains: original characters, language, a scene used from Sebastian Stan’s new movie Destroyer.

Author’s Note: Part 2 of a 5 part series! Please leave feedback!

The three hour jet ride to the Florida Bed and Breakfast was spent mostly in silence. Bucky looking out the window on the other side of the plane, while I listened to music and read a book. I knew we needed to talk eventually, we had to convince these people we were a couple on our honeymoon. I just didn’t know when, or who was going to talk first. Until Bucky surprised me, sitting down right in the seat in front of me, staring. I pull one of my earbuds out.

“Can I help you?” I ask raising my eyebrow.

“How are we doing this?” he grumbles out looking down at his feet. His hands were together in his lap, he occasionally squeezed them together which caused his muscles to shift under the fabric of the long sleeve red shirt he was wearing. I could tell he was tense about this whole thing.

“Well, we have to pretend to be a happy couple on their honeymoon. So maybe you could start by relaxing a little.” I say, shutting my music off and shifting in my seat. He releases his grip on his hands and sits back a little, relaxing his shoulders.

“I’m relaxed” he mumbles, although we both know its a lie. He sits there staring at me for a few seconds and I’m about to tell him it’s a little creepy until he speaks first.

“You should kiss me” He says leaning forwards, like it’s the most casual thing to come off his lips. My eyes nearly bulge out of my head.

“Excuse me?” I choke out. He’s looking right at me, but I can’t read his expression.

“Kiss me” he repeats. I shake my head in disbelief and let out laugh.

“Why?”

“So I know” he starts, “I don’t want to look surprised the first time it happens in public”

I continue to stare at him, my mouth slightly open, I turn my head to glance around the plane. It was a good plan, but I couldn’t believe he was the one who thought of it.

“Dead serious” he say when I turn back to look at him.

I move forward placing my hand on the back of his head pulling him into me. I move my lips against his and he kisses back firmly. The kiss lasts a few seconds before I pull back and sit in the chair leaning back. I look to him for a reaction and he looks at me, letting out a breath.

“Okay. Got it” he says nodding.

“Think you can fake liking that?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him.

“Probably..yeah” He answers leaning back in the chair as well.

This is your pilot speaking, 10 minutes till landing, we’ve got clear skies and 80 degree weather coming up in Ocala, Florida.

“Are you going to be good in that shirt? It’s going to be hot as hell” I say gathering my things and rebuckling my seat to get ready for landing.

“I’ll be fine.” He says harshly, tugging the sleeves to further cover his arms. I roll my eyes at his rudeness.

“Oh before I forget we have to put these on.” I say reaching into my purse and taking out two wedding rings. I hand him one and he hesitates before taking it from me, frowning down at the ring.

“It’s not even real, jesus does the thought of marrying me disgust you so bad?” I scoff annoyed. He looks at me and opens his mouth to say something, but instead gets up and goes back to his seat for the remainder of the flight.

***

The drive from the airport to the B&B was about a half an hour long. We went from being in the city, to being surrounded by lots of empty land stretching out for miles. Cattle and horses scattered about in each one.

We pull up to the huge, white farmhouse, with a porch going all around the sides. There’s horse stables and fields with cows on one side and on the other is an entire golf course and an inground swimming pool.

“Jesus Christ this place is huge” Bucky mutters as the taxi comes to a stop. I silently agree with him as thoughts are running through my mind of where exactly this secret bunker could be within all this land. We step out of the car and grab our luggage making our way up the steps of the house. Before we get to the door it’s opening and an older man and woman greet us. I quickly grab hold of Bucky’s hand which makes him jump a little. He looks down at our hands and back up to me.

“Hello! You must be Y/n and James! Welcome to Destination Retreat! I’m Mary and this is John we are the hosts of the house” The older woman greets us, stepping forward to shake our hands.

“It’s nice to meet you” I say, putting on my best smile,

The man steps forward and takes our luggage from us, smiling bright.

“I’ll take these for ya! You can follow me inside and I’ll take you to your room!” He says and we walk with him to the upstairs as his wife explains the grounds.

“So! We have horseback riding, golf, a game room, and a pool! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner will be at the same time everyday in the community dining room!” She explains and Bucky pauses.

“Community dining room?” He asks, raising his eyebrows. She nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! You both and the other guests are welcomed to join us for meals everyday, family style! The other guests love it, and it’s strongly encouraged” she finishes as we enter our room. It’s a large room with a king bed in the middle. Two large dressers, a desk, and our own private bathroom.

“We’ll let you both get settled in! Dinner is at 6!” Mary says before her and John leave the room shutting the door.

“Well at least we have our own bathroom” I say taking my suitcase over to one of the dressers. I put it on the floor and unzip it. I look up to Bucky who is still standing there with a sour face.

“What?” I ask and he points to the bed.

“There’s only one bed” he says.

“Well yeah. This is a couples suite” I say standing up.

“So I have to share a bed with you?” He says and the way he says it stings, but I ignore it.

“Whatever it’s not a big deal it’s clearly big enough for both of us. You won’t even touch me” I shrug. He looks at me with a blank stare on his face, like he’s thinking about something.

****

Bucky’s POV

At dinner time Y/n and I walk into the dinning room at 6:05. Everyone was already at the table and Mary and John were beginning to place the food down. There were three other couples sitting at the table and everyone looked at us as we walked in. Y/n gives them an awkward wave as Mary set down a bowl of mashed potatoes.

“Oh! I’m so glad you’ve joined us! Please take a seat!” She says gesturing to the two empty seats at the table. We sit at the tables and the other couples cheerily introduce themselves.

There was Deborah and Mark from Nebraska, Judy and Carl from Maine, and Steve and Gina from South Dakota. They all had very enthusiastic personalities which was kind of nauseating.

“So you two are on your honeymoon?” Judy asks grabbing Carl’s hand, “We are as well!”

Y/n smiles wide, I can tell its forced, but they seem to buy into it. She grabs my hand and squeezes it, my heart beats a little faster at the touch of her skin to mine.

“Yes! James and I just got married a few days ago it was really beautiful” She says looking at me. The sight of her smile makes me smile and it doesn’t feel forced at all. Her gaze lingers just a little bit longer than normal and there’s something in her eyes I can’t make out. She then turns away as the others share the stories of their relationships and I sit there silently as she does all the talking. Mary and John sat quietly listening to the conversations of their guests. I want to get them talking so we could learn more about them. I nudge Y/n a bit and she looks at me. I move my eyes towards the older couple hoping she gets the clue. She nods slightly and turns to face them.

“Mary, John, how long have you two been married?” She asks.

“About 30 years and still going strong!” Mary says “We met in college in the science department, we both had similar majors, he was physics and I was chemistry.” She explained. So they were both majors in the exact specialties that are capable handling nuclear substances. Clue number one.

“So you could say you both could feel the chemistry between the two of you!” Gina laughs out, causing everyone to laugh with her. Y/n and I let out strained chuckles and looked to each other. If there’s one thing we have in common it’s that we do not want to be here. We all continue eating in silence until John spoke out.

“So James, I would love to hear the story about your arm” He says setting his fork down. My body tenses and I squeeze the fork in my hand. Y/n looks over at me like she’s waiting for me to tell the story too.

“I lost my arm and got a new one” I say simply, not giving anymore information.

“Oh come on you’ve got to have a story behind it” John says.

“Please tell us! I’d love to know why it looks so strong!” Deborah giggles earning a look from her husband. I can feel my heart racing and my breathing getting heavier.

“Tell us the story!” Carl says and the rest of them are all talking over each other, trying to get me to speak. It’s incredibly overwhelming and I abruptly stand up, my chair making a loud screeching noise that quickly silences everyone. Without saying anything I leave the dining room and make my way upstairs. I could hear Y/n’s voice apologizing for me, “I..um..I’m sorry about that. I’ll just go check on him” she’s stutters.

I walk into our dark room not bothering to turn the light on, I sit on the bed with my head in my hands trying to work on my breathing. A few seconds later I hear the door open and close and the click of the lock.

“Bucky?” She asks. I don’t respond and I feel the bed sink in next to me, “Hey I-” she starts placing her hand on my shoulder, her touch is like a burning fire and I jolt away

“Leave me the fuck alone” I mutter.

“What is your problem I’m trying to make sure you’re okay, you just stormed out on them which is incredibly rude!” She says. I turn to her, filled with anger and agony.

“I was rude?! How about them asking all their nosy fucking questions.” I say raising my voice.

“Lower your fucking voice” She sneers, but then pauses letting out a sigh. “They did come on strong, are you okay?” She asks the frustration in her voice fading as she steps closer to me again. I look at her with a pained look, my heart clenching at her words.

“Why do you care? Just leave me the fuck alone” I say walking into the bathroom and slamming the door.

“You are so fucking frustrating!” I hear her whisper yell kicking the bed.

I leaned up against the bathroom door letting out a few breaths, trying to calm myself down again. I can’t talk about my arm, it’s not something I ever talk about. They never ask me anything else it’s the first thing that comes out of their mouths. And Y/n, god Y/n drives me fucking insane. I push her away the best that I can, I treat her like shit, and even though she gets angry back at me, she still seems to care. It’s true, I don’t have any reason to hate her and I don’t hate her which is the problem. I can’t let myself get close to her. Even just her touch sends me somewhere else, my idea to kiss on the plane, I don’t know where that came from.

I decide to just take a shower and when I finally go back into the room the light is off and Y/n’s in bed. I get dressed, putting on boxers and sweatpants before climbing into bed. In her sleep she turns around to face me and I sigh, taking in her resting features and without thinking reach up brushing my human hand against her cheek and she leans into the touch.

***

Taglist:

@mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank

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emkayoh · 6 years

Text

Spider-Man: Homecoming Fic Recs

Alright, I snapped y’all. I’m blown away by the quality of writing in this fandom and I want to share some of my absolute faves that I’ve found. Especially since I haven’t really seen any fic recs and these fics deserve to be spread like wildfire. So here are my top favorite reads, mostly Tony and Peter centered because of course.

(Under the cut because this is looooooong):

How to Repair a Broken Heart by InfluentialPineapple (WIP)

Summary: The Mechanic has a lot on his plate; Thanos is coming, the Guardians of the Galaxy are marooned, Thaddeus Ross is reaching right down his throat, and a budding super hero deserves his full attention. He's also dying. No big deal. He can fix it. He can fix anything.

And he can do it all without even opening that stupid phone.

Now, where did those notes on Extremis go...?

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Mature

Notes: Holy shit, y’all. This is definitely my favorite fanfiction... ever. Out of everything I’ve ever read. It’s still a WIP so beware of that, but I am extremely confident in the author’s ability to finish it. And honestly, it’s well worth reading even if it isn’t finished. It has some of the most spot-on characterization, an amazing plot that rivals whatever Marvel cooks up for Infinity War, and glorious writing. 10/10 I am in the fandom for this fic specifically. (Warning: Violence, torture, lots of death.)

The Long Way Round by undeerqueen

Summary: Tony wants him to hold on. Peter just wants to go home.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: Okay, warning... this is a death fic. But it’s my favorite death fic ever written. It’s so beautifully written in a way that keeps you hanging on until the very end and leaves a hole in your heart that never goes away. If you’re like me and enjoy that kind of stuff, please, please, please for the love of god, read this fic. (Edit: This is a whole series now!!! Even more pain abounds.)

three words that became hard to say (i and love and you) by madasthesea

Summary: Tony likes giving gifts to prove his love, but they don't usually have four paws and a tail.

AKA: Tony, Peter, and a dog named Maggie learn how to be a family.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I’m crying???? I’m usually not a fan of fics that kill off May so that Peter and Tony can be a family because she deserves better than that, but this fic is the ONLY exception. May isn’t cast aside as unimportant, Tony struggles to make Peter accept him as his new guardian, and there’s a dog! What could be better than that? (Edit: It’s a whole series now!! Tears from beginning to end.)

Everyone You’ve Ever Loved by JBS_Forever

Summary: “You will lose, Tony Stark,” the man says. “You have taken everything from me. Now I'm going to take everything from you.”

(Or: A masked-man threatens to destroy everyone Tony Stark has ever cared about. He starts by taking Peter.)

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I honestly had a hard time picking out a JBS_Forever fic to include in this rec list, because everything they write is amazing and I recommend all of it, but this fic stands out. It’s a classic “Peter gets kidnapped and Tony has to save him” fic, which is a favorite trope of mine lol (are you noticing a pattern with the fics I tend to like?) It’s a oneshot but it’s MASSIVE and really realistically portrayed. I love how she writes Tony and Peter and I was holding my breath the whole time.

Astronomy In Reverse by pansley (WIP)

Summary: A year after the Winter Soldier failed his mission in DC, Bucky Barnes is doing his best to stay under the radar from both Hydra and Steve Rogers. His hope for a peaceful day-to-day life in limbo goes awry, however, when he meets Queens’ newest hero; a pure-hearted kid with a death wish and a ridiculous pair of red and blue pajamas.

The last thing Steve expects when he finally tracks Bucky down is that, not only has the man been living in Queens all this time, right under his nose, but also that, in the two years since they last saw each other, Bucky somehow acquired a kid.

Alternatively: How Peter Parker effectively fucks over Bucky Barnes, and also totally saves him.

Relationship: Bucky and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: I guess I should mix things up a bit and rec one that isn’t a Tony and Peter fic! This one took me by surprise. I read it because I was intrigued by the relationship tag between Bucky and Peter and didn’t know how it would work. Spoiler: It works very well. It’s so different from a Tony fic but it’s so precious. Featuring foster kid/homeless Peter Parker. Also a WIP and only in the beginning stages but I sense a really interesting plot. (Warning for attempted sexual assault in one of the chapters! But it’s very, very brief. )

Weak Spot by grilledcheesing

Summary: Peter Parker has been sent back in time hundreds of times after their last face off with Thanos to do the one thing nobody else can: save Tony Stark.

Unfortunately, he has to find a way to kill his past self to do it.

And the last thing Tony is going to do is let him.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Back on my Tony and Peter bullshit. This author is a very prominent author in the fandom so I’m sure you’ve read at least one of their fics if you’ve read a lot of Homecoming fics, but this is my absolute favorite of theirs. It’s such an interesting (and heartbreaking) concept and it’s another one of those stories that leaves you feeling empty inside. Warning for more character death.

pretending by ace8013

Summary: Natasha reflects on what she noticed.

Relationship: All of the Avengers really, but come on I read it for the Tony and Peter

Rating: Not Rated

Notes: I’m honestly... flabbergasted that this fic has so few kudos. Pls go read it and give it more. It’s really short but so poignant and says so much with so little. I honestly love it so much. It’s in Natasha’s POV which is really interesting and the author really nails her personality. It’s absolutely soul-crushing and it will only take you like 2 minutes to read please just do it. (Warning for so much character death...)

Tony Built a Son by Footloose_Poets

Summary: Peter navigates learning to be human. Tony navigates fathering an android.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences/Teen

Notes: Ohmygosh... this one probably isn’t surprising considering the massive amounts of fanart I’ve drawn for it. The idea is so obvious yet so unique and satisfying to read. The author does an AMAZING job creating a realistic world where Tony builds an android son to keep his loneliness at bay and keeps both Tony and Peter so in character despite the vastly different circumstances from their movie counterparts. And it’s a whole series! Every new installment is a beautiful read, and the author even created a tumblr: @friendly-neighborhood-android to post mini ficlets, art, and factoids in the interim.

5 Times Peter Thought Tony Was Mad by caraminha

Summary: ... and one time he actually was.

Set a few months after Aunt May's death where Tony is Peter's legal guardian. Navigating a new life together and settling into being father and son is a rollercoaster - falling in love with the kid? Easy. Dealing with a grieving teenager, and trying to figure out how to do this whole parent thing? Uh... not so easy.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Oh no more dead May. But I promise I only recommend these fics when they’re really well-written! And this is a REALLY good fic. I got so many feels reading this and domestic Tony and Peter really gives me life. Tony messes up a little but more than makes up for it, and then Peter messes up a lot but it’s okay because Tony loves him. It’s so adorable and heartwarming and I had the warm fuzzies the whole time.

Only Human by tonysta_k

Summary: When Flash takes things too far - pushes Peter too far by mentioning his fathers and what happened, Peter can't take it anymore.

Or, an au where after civil war, Steve was put in prison, Tony has a hard time facing his feelings, and Peter just wants to see his pops.

Relationship: Steve/Tony (Past), Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Damn. I don’t even ship Stony. I don’t like it, Steve has hurt Tony too much for me to ever see them as romantically involved, but if Stony just so happens to be in an intriguing Tony and Peter fic... fine, I’ll read it, so sue me. But wowowow did this fic hit me where it really hurts. It’s good because it acknowledges Steve and Tony’s failed relationship and puts Peter right in the middle of a REALLY nasty divorce. It’s really heart-breaking and realistic and claws at your emotions. 10/10 had to hug my parents right after reading.

for good by Madelinedear

Summary: "Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”

May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.

Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.

(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)

Relationship: Tony and May

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: YES!!! YES!!! YEEESSSSS!!! Finally, the Tony and May fic I’ve been waiting for!!! To end this rec list on a fluffier note (because boy do I love angst, huh?) this fic is hilarious, heartwarming, and so in-character. It’s a really good study of how May and Tony’s relationship might evolve over time due to their mutual bonding over fiercely loving Peter. It’s everything I ever wanted in a May and Tony friendship fic and more.

---

And these two are not necessarily Homecoming fics but I have to include them because they are on the list of my all time favorite Spider-Man fics:

Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for

Summary: Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Peter Parker/Johnny Storm)

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay so this is more based in the comic-verse, but I pictured Tom Holland Spidey while reading it anyways. I don’t even ship Spideypool tbh but I got curious. I didn’t even watch the Deadpool movie or know anything about Deadpool (or the Fantastic Four, who feature prominently in this) but still... it’s SO. GOOD. More spidery Spider-Man isn’t a thing I knew I needed until this fic, and it honestly reads almost like a fantasy. The world-building is incredible and the fic also comes with great drawings to help you visualize this strange new Peter. (Warning though: There are sex scenes. I was kinda hesitant about whether or not I should rec this because of that, but honestly the fic is worth it. I don’t usually like to read fics with sex scenes, but the plot more than makes up for it.)

I Like Birds by chinashopbull (WIP... possibly abandoned?)

Summary: Peter has Asperger’s/ASD. Yes, of course he’s still Spider-Man. Deadpool tries to accommodate, with mixed results.

Some feeble plot happens eventually, blood gets on the walls, etc. I play fast and loose with canon but try to stay true to (what I perceive to be) the spirit of the characters.

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay, so this fic predates Homecoming so it’s definitely not about that Spidey (even though I picture Tom Holland anyways), the summary doesn’t do it justice, the way the fic portrays Tony Stark makes me sad, and it’s most likely abandoned because it hasn’t been updated since May 2017 (Edit: This totally updated after a whole year. It’s still going!!!)... but hear me out. This fic is worth the heartbreak of reading an abandoned fic. First of all: Autistic Peter!!!!! Written by someone who is autistic themselves so it’s very accurate!!!! I know I say this a lot but the plot is AMAZING. There’s an amazing side story about suicide bombers that’s really intriguing. I love the mystery element of this story so much, it reads as it’s own standalone work of fiction. Also, the slow burn is so slow that the Spideypool never happens, so if that’s not your thing, don’t let that stop you from reading this truly incredible fic. (Warning: A really, really graphic eye injury in one of the earlier chapters that’s pretty gruesome. )

---

IS THIS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?? If you read any of these fics KUDOS AND COMMENT because the authors deserve your love! Feel free to send me any recs too! You know what I like. ;)

#spiderman homecoming #peter parker #tony stark #fic recs #homecoming fics #i've been thinking of doing this for a long time and i finally snapped #i love these fics with all my heart y'all #a lot of them i've read multiple times #the first two i've drawn fan art for lmao #let me know if you've read any of these!

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nostalgicatsea · 5 years

Text

This is my second go at filling out the year-end writing meme that @sineala and muccamukk did on Dreamwidth because my computer freaked out and shut down on me without warning while I was writing and my entire post was lost. I was almost done with it so you can imagine how upset I was.

So here’s my reflection on my writing in 2018! This is going to be long. You can read it in full here on Dreamwidth as well.

All of these stories are Steve/Tony unless stated otherwise.

April

Leaving Promises Against Your Skin (MCU) - Post-Civil War soulmate AU, 18,611 words

May

The Great Silence of Loss (MCU) - Post-Infinity War fic about grief and hope vs. despair, 1,075 words

Little Moments in Between: A Brief Interlude (MCU) - Tony thinks about his relationship with Steve while they wait for a train, 844 words

June

Signals Between Two Satellites (MCU) - Post-Infinity War angst and hurt/comfort fic about Steve and Tony seeing each other for the first time after the snap, 2,290 words

August

Hidden Declaration (Generation Kill, Brad/Ray) - Ray tries to convince Brad to get matching tattoos with him, 728 words

You and Nothing Else (MCU) - Steve doesn’t like seeing Tony stressed out and unhappy over their wedding plans, 785 words

Every Last One of My Demons (MCU) - Post-Infinity War emotional hurt/comfort fic about Steve and Tony talking after having nightmares, 1,705 words

Rushing Headlong in the Wrong (Right) Direction (Avengers Academy) - Steve bids on Tony in their school’s charity auction, wrongly assuming that he’s auctioning off a date, 2,727 words

December

A Long, Final Rest Among the Stars (MCU) - Endgame trailer fic about Tony reflecting on how he’s come full circle from Afghanistan in a way, 2,732 words

Last year I wrote and posted:

Nine stories and 33,333 words, including the 1,836 words I wrote on New Year’s Eve for a Cap-Iron Man comm gift fic but didn’t submit because I wasn’t happy with it.

Overall thoughts:

Last year was a productive writing year for me! My 2018 New Year’s resolution was “to build on my progress and write even longer pieces and more works that I’m proud of.” Suffice to say, that happened. In the past two years, I went from writing one or two fics a year that were at most 1-2.5k to writing my longest fic at the time I wrote that New Year’s post (Multitude of One (4,277 words)) to the number of words and fics above.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would last year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

I didn’t have a specific goal, but nine fics is more than half my fic count on AO3 and the other eight were posted over the course of four years so yeah, WAY more than I thought I’d write. I don’t know how that happened especially as I get stuck while writing all the time.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Brad/Ray and Gen Kill. I never thought I’d write a GK story because just the thought of doing so is intimidating. Ray Person is intimidating. I love him, but he’s so easy to get wrong and I’ve seen people get him totally wrong or get close but still fall short. I didn’t even want to bother trying until @luxover gave me a Brad/Ray prompt and I wrote Hidden Declaration. Just to make things both harder and easier, lux is a good friend so I hoped she would be gentle even if she hated it lol, but I wanted to make her happy because she’s my friend. She’s also the only person I know who writes Ray perfectly so, you know, no pressure. But I wrote a thing! In a fandom I didn’t ever expect to write in!

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

A toss up between “angst with catharsis/grief and healing” and “post-Infinity War.” Or maybe “I never thought I’d write this.” It’s funny because after Infinity War came out, Alanna (aslightstep) and I talked about how it didn’t fill us with the desire to write any fics based on it, and three of my fics from last year are post-IW ones (four if you include the one based on the Endgame trailer).

Leaving Promises Against Your Skin hits all three things.

What's your own favorite story of the year?

Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?I’m not sure it makes me the happiest, but it’s definitely the fic I’m proudest of and it so happens to be my longest and most popular one: Leaving Promises Against Your Skin again. LPAYS was the sequel to Multitude of One which, until I posted LPAYS, was my longest fic. I knew it would blow MoO out of the water, word count-wise. That was one of the reasons I was too afraid to write it because I didn’t know how to write long fics nor do I know how I wrote this one now that so much time has passed since I finished it. I’m proud of it not because it’s perfect and I love everything about it (a few things bother me about it actually) but because writing it was agonizing. I wanted to give up so many times.

The only reason I kept going was that I didn’t have that much of an option to do so as it was a STH fill. I’m proud of sticking with it. Once everything snapped into place, the words kept flowing…and flowing and within days, I wrote several thousand words more than I had expected the fic to be. This is how I felt once I was done. For the first time ever in all my years of writing, I got choked up over my own writing lol. I understand how great it feels to finish a long fic, write the scenes you had in mind for so long, and get to the ending that you envisioned from the start (I had the ending of LPAYS in mind while writing MoO even though I kept mum about it when people asked me what happened after the ending of MoO). I got so happy that I made my first photoset! That’s another unexpected thing that happened last year.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

A lot!

- I mostly write angst and never thought I would ever write unadulterated fluff with zero angst and I did so twice in 2018 with my first Avengers Academy fic, which also has a dash of humor (“humor”? I’m not really funny), and this wedding preparation fic, which also is an established relationship fic about marriage. I never thought I’d write those things either especially because wedding fics tend to bore the hell out of me and I never seek them out.

- Both of those fics were prompt fills (I filled four in total). I never take prompts because I get stuck and stressed out that I have writer’s block, but it worked out fine which I’m happy about as the prompts for the two fics were out of my comfort zone. I had no idea what to write for the cheese one, but I was determined to fill it. I can’t recognize myself. Fluff? Humor? No angst? Established relationship? Wedding preparations? Prompt fills? ME? What?!

- Long fics! I wrote my first one because eh, 4k doesn’t count as long even though it was long for me at the time.

- MCU Tony POV. MCU Tony scares me from a writing standpoint, so I avoided writing from his POV until LPAYS and now I have two fics with his POV.

I learned that what may seem or be impossible to do doesn’t stay that way and that trying to get out of my comfort zone can be incredibly rewarding. It’s worth a shot even if I fail because I gain more experience, and it makes me feel hopeful about growing as a writer. It’s hard to think that you’ll ever improve or be able to write things you can’t write when you’re frustrated or not feeling great about your writing.

My best story of this year:

I don’t remember what I put the first time around.

My most popular story of this year:

Leaving Promises Against Your Skin

had the most bookmarks, comments, hits, and kudos. Not surprising because it’s a sequel to my most popular fic and it’s a soulmate AU which tends to draw people in.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Hidden Declaration has the fewest bookmarks, comments, hits, and kudos without contest, but considering the size and lack of activity in the fandom (which is why I don’t care that no one has read it, but I generally don’t obsess over those markers anyway especially if it’s a gift like this one was), I can’t exactly say it’s underappreciated by the universe.

You and Nothing Else had the lowest comments to hits ratio, but it performed well on Tumblr where I originally posted it, so I have to pick Every Last One of My Demons which had the lowest kudos to hits and bookmarks to hits ratios of ALL my fics from 2018 and went a bit under the radar on Tumblr too. I thought it would do better because hurt/comfort! Post-Infinity War! Oh well.

My least favorite story this year:

Rushing Headlong in the Wrong (Right) Direction. I’m not good with humor, and the words kept coming but kind of in a “oh no, I can’t stop word vomiting” way. But hey, I never write dialogue-heavy fic so there’s that. And it’s a silly and fun fic for a silly and fun prompt (“cheese wheel”...I almost ended up ignoring the prompt because cheese wheel?) and universe. RIP soon, AvAc. You’ll live on in our hearts and in fandom.

Most fun story to write:

Hidden Declaration! Ray was super fun, which is a big surprise as I said he’s scary to write. There are one or two lines in the story hat I want to tweak because I think they toe the line in being “too much” (as I said, he’s very easy to get wrong, and many people go overboard with him), but he’s really fun to write and I love him!

Story with the sweetest moment:

You and Nothing Else. The part where Steve tells Tony he doesn’t care about what their wedding is like and Tony not only gets what he means, but he meets him halfway because what he ultimately decides on reminds him of Steve.

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Haha I don’t have any sexy moments. The closest would be Hidden Declaration, where Brad imagines Ray beneath him with a tattoo that matches his (he totally learns how to tattoo so that he can ink Ray himself).

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

None. I didn’t do anything that’s more horrible than what I usually do.

Most overdue:

LPAYS. It took a year for me to post although I only seriously thought of writing it and began writing it months after I posted MoO.

Most eye roll-worthy title:

A tie between Rushing Headlong in the Wrong (Right) Direction which is awful, but I got stuck on a title for that one, and Little Moments in Between: A Brief Interlude, which is so pretentious (that colon!) and long for such a short fic about nothing. I couldn’t decide between the two phrases separated by the colon, so I used both.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

LPAYS. It’s written in Tony’s POV, but it helped me explore Steve a bit and feel better about him. A lot of people, including me, were upset with Steve after CA:CW and hated his letter because it made little sense (I still think this way). I also kept thinking about the line “I can see now I was really sparing myself” and tried to figure out what he meant by that. For once, Steve was selfish and it led to disastrous consequences, but his selfishness came from losing so much in his life and not wanting to lose more and...I really do think he didn’t want to lose Tony and was afraid he’d lose him and that Bucky would fall out of his grasp again. He was a coward, but because he cared too much, not because he didn’t care at all.

Hardest story to write:

LPAYS again! I knew what would happen after the ending of MoO and had the ending of LPAYS in mind too while writing the ending of MoO, but I kept mum about it even though people wanted to know and asked me about it. I couldn’t figure out what scenes to write other than one BARF scene and the ending which I desperately wanted to get to. I couldn’t figure out how to deal with the idea of forgiveness, how Tony could ever heal, and how Steve could earn back Tony’s trust again. It was so, so hard and I was miserable until things clicked and then 8k became 10k...which became 12k. I thought I’d stop there, but then it became 18k. I couldn’t stop which felt so liberating, fun, and rewarding because it had been so difficult to write until that point.Thank you to everyone who listened to me, brainstormed with me, and held my hand through the process as I whined and suffered.<3 I couldn't have written it without you.

Biggest Disappointment:

I couldn’t write a comm gift fic that I was happy with in time, and I wanted this year to be the year that I finally wrote one. Hopefully I’ll be able to participate in another writing-related Cap-Iron Man event this year! Oh, and I didn't write that other soulmate fic that's been on my mind for years.

Biggest Surprise:

Everything under the “writing risks” part. Um...that LPAYS did so well. There’s a risk with long sequels; the longer a oneshot fic is, the less likely it is to get as much feedback as say, something that’s in the 5-7K range (I forgot the exact range, but someone put up stats about this), and if it’s a sequel? People back out because they think they won’t know what’s going on unless they read the first story. I was that “Troy from Community enters a room on fire with a pizza box, smiling and then alarmed” gif when MoO did incredibly well, and I sort of feel like that with LPAYS, even if MoO has double the bookmarks, comments, kudos, and hits.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I don’t know.

Favorite opening line:

I’m not extremely fond of any particular opening line from last year. This is easier with opening paragraphs. If I had to pick, though, it’s “They were like bedtime stories, his nightmares” from Every Last One of My Demons.

Favorite closing line:

The one from LPAYS and the last four paragraphs of that are my favorite closing lines ever, but they’re spoilery so I’ll pick something different. My favorites have to be from Every Last One of My Demons, Signals Between Two Satellites, and A Long, Final Rest Among the Stars. I’ll pick two.

Favorite in terms of meaning: Hope, he thought as Tony turned to look at him, exhausted and afraid and beautiful from Signals.

Tony is the embodiment of hope for Steve!!!! I honestly think that Tony embodies that for the Avengers and especially Steve in so many ways, even in the MCU; it’s not as apparent as the other universes, but if you think about what Tony did for Steve in all their movies together and in Infinity War, which they aren’t in any scenes together, it makes sense.

Favorite in terms of writing/prettiness/mood: “Tony,” he heard the voice whisper again, and it was all their voices all at once, calling him to them from here and beyond, all with him as he drifted off, into the boundless darkness, into the stars and the lights he had loved and then feared and loved again from A Long, Final Rest.

In conclusion:

I’m proud of myself.

Fic-writing goals for 2019:

I’m not going to try to top what I did in 2018. I don’t think that’ll be possible. What I hope to do in 2019, other than write my MTH fill for @sabrecmc, of course, is to finish the two fics that have been on my mind for years: the reconciliation/reunion fic and the one that everyone must have heard me complain about by now as I’ve been whining about it on and off for about 4.5 years. Yes, that one. That soulbond fic. The one that I tried to abandon, but even if I put it aside for a long time, I can never actually let go of. It haunts me. I WANT TO BE FREE. I WANT TO BE FREE. If you’re curious, the two fics are the second and third fic on this post. I have some other stories I want to write, but those two are my only priorities. PLEASE, I WANT TO WRITE AND POST THEM EVEN IF I DON’T KNOW HOW.

Anyway, happy 2019. One more year until 2020! What a scary thought. I wish you all a prosperous, joyous, creative, and prolific year.

#writing meme #my fics

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moondancewrites · 6 years

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Kaleidoscope Eyes - Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Lucy Larson (OC)

Warnings: Fluff, eventual smut

Summary: After the Infinity War, Bucky Barnes is invited to officially join the Avengers and move into their compound. For the first time in a long time, everything in Bucky’s life makes sense. He has a place he belongs, friends who care about him, and a purpose. But, there’s one thing that’s keeping him from feeling truly like his old self. It isn’t long before he realizes that the something he’s missing might be found in Lucy Larson, a Stark Industries employee who has worked her way up the ranks to become Maria Hill’s executive assistant at the Avengers compound.

A/N: This story exists in a perfect world where none of our beloved Avengers die in Infinity War and Cap and everyone come back to the Avengers compound to live and work. What’s the point of fan fiction if you can’t keep the ones you love alive, right? Be gentle on me - this is my first Bucky fic and it scares the hell out of me to write someone as complex as him. Also, this will switching POVs every once in a while.

Chapter 1

John Lennon’s voice filled the room, signaling the start of another day. Lucy reached for the console beside her bed, fumbling to turn off the alarm.

“Five more minutes,” she whined, hugging her pillow and squeezing her eyes closed to keep out the early morning sun.

“Ms. Larson.” F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s soft voice filled the room . Lucy turned onto her side, pulling her pillow over her head as if that would hide her from the omnipresent AI. “Ms. Hill wanted to make sure that everything was ready for this morning’s arrival.”

“This mornings …. Oh!” Lucy sprang up in bed, wide-eyed with excitement. “Y-yes, F.R.I.D.A.Y. Everything is ready. I just need to go down and do some final checks.”

The day was finally here. Today, all of her friends would be back home after saving the world, once again. Not wanting to waste another second, Lucy jumped out of bed and ran to the shower. While she washed her hair, Lucy went over the list in her head of things she had to do to prepare for the day.

Lucy had been given the task of setting up the living quarters for one of the newest member of the team. It took a little coaxing, but Steve had managed to talk his best friend, Bucky Barnes, into officially joining the Avengers. Maria Hill, Lucy’s boss, put her in charge of making sure that his room was ready for him when he arrived. Since Bucky didn’t have many possessions to start with, Lucy pretty much had a clean slate when it came to decor and wardrobe.

Steve wanted the whole room to be a surprise, so she’d been working solely with him to cultivate items the would suit the new Avenger. They had been texting back and forth the last few days as the team made their way back home. Although, honestly, Lucy could have probably done it without asking Steve a single question since she knew so much about Bucky already. She’d known Steve for years now and he talked about Bucky all the time. She felt like she knew him already. Sure, she knew about him before, but that was only through the official files and the gossip around the compound. But through Steve, she felt like she knew the real Bucky - not just the Winter Soldier or the White Wolf or whatever people called him.

As the hour drew nearer, the butterflies in Lucy’s stomach started to flutter a little faster. Would he like what she’d done with his room? What if he didn’t like it? Would he tell her? Would he even talk to her at all? People were speculating that he would be the silent type. She wouldn’t be surprised by that at all, given his history, but she was determined to be his friend. Or maybe just make him smile. That was the day’s goal.

She was doing some final checks in his closet when there was a knock on the door. Her heart leapt in her chest. “They’re here,” Gina, one of her old friends from data maintenance said from the doorway. “Holy shit … it’s freezing in here.”

“That’s how Bucky likes it,” Lucy replied. Gina squinted at her and Lucy’s gaze shifted back to her task.

“And you know just how … Bucky likes it?” Gina choked on her laugh and Lucy had half a mind not to throw a shoe at her.

“I just mean … That’s what Steve … Sergeant Barnes …” She was flustered and Gina knew it, which made it even worse.

“C’mon, Luc … time to meet ….” Gina flipped her hair back over her shoulder as she said, “Sergeant Barnes,” with a teasing exuberance.

“I hate you,” Lucy muttered through gritted teeth.

“Love you, too.”

“Welcome home, Buck,” Steve said with a kind grin, patting his friend’s back. The place was even bigger than they’d all described. It felt more like a town than a compound.

“Thanks,” Bucky said with a gulp. He pulled on the strap of his bag nervously, tightening it around his shoulder. He was half expecting there to be a huge crowd of people waiting for them to arrive. If the whole team had arrived as a whole, maybe that would have been the case. But it was just him and Steve for now - the rest of the Avengers would slowly make their way back throughout the rest of the day. Steve thought it best for them to get there ASAP so Bucky could start to become acclimated before they started training for whatever lay ahead.

“Look, I know it’s a big change. And I know you’re nervous-”

“I’m not-” Bucky started, but Steve shot him a look that made him shrug in admission.

“It’s going to take some getting used to. But your room is right across the hall from me. And I’ve put someone I trust in charge of setting it up for you.” Bucky’s eyes followed Steve’s gaze. “There she is.” Steve smiled widely, waving at a woman coming down the stairs. “Buck, this is Lucy.”

“Hi Bu- … I mean, Sergeant Barnes,” the young woman said with a wide smile. She reached out her right hand and Bucky took it. Bucky was about to correct her and say that Bucky was fine, but she just kept right on talking. “I’m Lucy, Maria Hill’s executive assistant. She runs the compound, so I basically do whatever she needs me to do. And she’s made it clear to give you whatever you need to make you comfortable and I’ve been working with Steve on your room and I think you’re going to like it. At least I hope you do. But if you don’t, you can tell me and I’ll change it right away.” She was still shaking his hand. That is, until Bucky looked down at their hands and she realized what she was doing. She pulled away and a soft blush appeared on her freckle-speckled cheeks. “Sorry.”

“Thanks,” was all he could think of to say.

“Why don’t you show us what you’ve done?” Steve suggested.

“You … you want me to come with you?” Lucy asked, pointing at her chest.

“You’ve done all the hard work - you should show him,” he told her, grinning that signature Cap grin that would make most girls swoon. Lucy just smiled, though, which Bucky found interesting.

If this girl talked as much as she did while showing them the room, Bucky was certain he’d have a headache after her little tour. He’d never heard a person talk so fast in his life. And with such … giddiness, he decided, was the best way to describe it. The girl was practically bouncing on her heels. And those were some tall heels.

“Oh, okay. Sure. I can do that. This way, gentlemen.”

“She was in charge of my room?” Bucky whispered under his breath to Steve as they followed Lucy to the living quarters.

“She’s a sweet kid,” Steve sighed. “She’s just excited to meet you.”

That baffled Bucky. “Why?” he asked.

“Everyone’s excited to meet you, Buck. You helped save the world. And you’re my oldest friend. They’ve all heard a story or two.”

“Oh, great.” Bucky rolled his eyes. He was already having second thoughts about this whole new living situation.

“Here we are.” Lucy stopped in front of the door abruptly and Bucky nearly collided with her. She turned on her heel, reaching in the pocket of her cardigan to pull out a keycard. She handed it to Bucky. “This will get you in until we set up the retinal scan.” He just nodded and he thought he saw a hint of a frown tug on her bright smile.

“What are you waiting for, Buck?” Steve said, nodding to the keypad on the door. Bucky pushed the card against it and the door slid open without a sound. He looked back at Lucy and Steve who were both standing the exact same way with the exact same expression. It almost made him smile. Almost.

What did make him smile was what he walked into. He hadn’t been in a place that felt like home in so long, but that place …. There was something about it that made him feel instantly safe and comfortable. Blue and green were the main colors in the room - a stark contrast to the dark reds and blacks and gloomy greys he was used to. The walls had a few art pieces on them. There was a really cool painting of a car that caught his eye. The bed looked like a gigantic cloud. He felt the urge to fall on it, just to see if it was as fluffy as it looked, but he restrained himself because of the company.

He could hear Lucy holding her breath behind him. He turned to her and nodded. “This is nice. Thank you,” he said. Lucy exhaled and that bright, giddy smile was back.

“You like it?” He nodded again. “Oh, thank God,” she sighed. “I know I’m not an interior designer by any stretch of the imagination, but with Steve’s help with the whole color thing … he said your favorite colors are blue and green, so I did both. And he said you liked tech and cars, so I got some stuff out of Mr. Stark’s art vault and found a few new pieces. And he told me your size, so I got you a closet full of new clothes.” Lucy walked over to the closet and Bucky followed. “See?” She beamed, turning on the light.

“Yeah. That’s … great.” There was that little tease of a frown again. Was someone that giddy even capable of frowning? “Thanks,” he said. He looked at Steve. “It’s great.”

“I told you he’d like it,” Steve told Lucy, patting her shoulder. “Lucy, want to explain the tech part to him while I go drop my bags off? Then I’ll come back and give you a tour.”

“Sure,” she said.

Steve closed the door behind him, leaving Lucy alone with her new neighbor. He wasn’t as scary as some of her coworkers made him out to be, but the few who described him as quiet and brooding hit the nail on the head. Even though he barely said a word, Lucy spoke enough for the both of them. She had a talent for it, if you could call it that.

When she went over everything with Bucky, he seemed pretty comfortable with it - way more comfortable than Steve had been. Hell, Steve still couldn’t figure out how to get half of the stuff to work.

“You’re pretty into tech, huh?” Lucy asked him as he played around with the buttons. “Steve is still figuring out how to use that thing.”

“That’s because Steve is a grandpa,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. Lucy busted out laughing, nearly falling into the dresser.

“Oh my God. That’s great.” Bucky smiled … actually smiled. And his smile was so … soft. And kind. And sweet. The smile fell from his lips, almost as if he could hear her thinking about how much she liked it. “I bet Wakanda was like heaven for you, then, with all their amazing tech.”

“Yeah, it was great. Until the whole war thing.”

Fuck. “Way to put your foot in your mouth, Luc,” Lucy groaned, covering her eyes with her hand.

“It’s fine. I’m used to war,” Bucky said with a little shrug. That sentence broke Lucy’s heart.

“I-” A knock at the door cut her off, followed by a bearded Steve poking his head in the room.

“Ready, Buck?”

“Sure.” Bucky turned to Lucy. “Thanks, Lucy.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky … please,” he said with a soft smile.

“Good luck with that,” Steve laughed. “Do you know how long it took for me to get her to call me Steve?”

“You’re welcome, Bucky,” Lucy said, looking defiantly at Steve. Steve crossed his arms over his chest and Lucy smirked at him. “See you at the party tonight?”

“Wait … what party?” Bucky asked with wide eyes.

“The … welcome home party? For all of you guys? Steve, you didn’t tell him?” Now Lucy was crossing her arms over her chest.

“I was going to casually mention it later after the whole tour and everything. Ya know, ease him into the whole thing.”

“Oh …” Lucy dropped her arms. “Sorry. Well, anyway … see you later!”

“This is a bad idea.” Bucky adjusted the collar on his crisp white shirt. It fit like a glove. Everything did, actually. Even the boxers. Thinking about Lucy picking out his boxers made his cheeks get a little hot, which he was shocked by. He wasn’t sure until that moment that he was capable of blushing anymore.

“Nah, man. It’s a great idea. Everyone is going to be there - even the guardian’s gang is making an appearance before they go off to who knows where.”

“Oh, great. The racoon will probably try to steal my arm again,” Bucky groaned. Sam laughed at him but when he saw the look on Bucky’s face, he shut up.

“It’s gonna be great, man. Booze, drinks, girls …” Sam nudged Bucky’s metal shoulder.

“I repeat,” Bucky said, glaring at his friend, “bad. Idea.”

“Do you know how many fine women are going to be at this party?”

“I thought this was just a compound party … that’s what Steve said.”

“Yeah. There are some honeys that work here, man. There’s this one girl in deployment. Kristie ….” Sam licked his lips. “She’s mine,” he warned.

“They can all be yours,” Bucky said, holding his arms up. “I’m not ready for any of that.”

“Not ready? Pschhh. Man, we’re dudes. We’re always ready. And don’t act like you’re all brainwashed and everything because I know for a fact Shuri straightened you out. You’re you again, man. You can be a dude. A normal dude. And you know what normal dudes do?”

“What do normal dudes do?” Bucky found himself asking; his voice sticking on the word dude. He wasn’t used to that word yet.

“They get. The. Honeys.”

“Sam.” Bucky had to laugh at the man’s enthusiasm. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to … get the honeys.” He grimaced hearing those words come out of his mouth. “But it’s not tonight, okay? I just got here and I’m already kind of freaking out.” Sam smiled at him. “And I don’t know why I’m telling this because you’ll just make fun of me.”

“Buck, Buck, Buck,” Sam sighed, throwing his arm around him. “Would I ever make fun of you?”

“You made fun of me five minutes ago …”

“Touche,” Sam said with a shrug. “But we’re friends, man. I’ll stop pushing.” Bucky let out a breath. “For now.” The music from the party got louder as they approached the big double doors. “But for now, it’s time to celebrate.”

“Wow,” Gina breathed, looking over Lucy’s shoulder. Lucy turned, curious to see what made Gina’s jaw drop like that. Sam and Bucky had just walked into the party. Bucky was wearing a white button down with black slacks and a black tie. His hair was down and falling in his face, hiding the pretty blue eyes that she couldn’t help but notice earlier in the day. “That man is wearing that outfit … yowza. You did a good job with wardrobe.”

“I guess I did,” Lucy said, unable to tear her eyes away from him. He wasn’t really her type - she liked nerdy, lanky guys, usually - but it was impossible to deny that he looked good.

“I’m going to go introduce myself.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Lucy told her. Gina’s brow furrowed. “He’s kind of nervous about the whole party thing.”

“Oh? Well, all the more reason. I just want to make him feel welcome.” Gina winked at Lucy. She was an insufferable flirt.

Lucy watched the exchange between Gina and Bucky from across the room. Bucky’s expression never changed and they only shared a few words before Gina turned around and made the ‘kill’ signal across her neck. Lucy chuckled, taking another sip of her drink.

While the others were all mingling and laughing and drinking and dancing … well, at least the Peters were, Bucky hid himself away in a corner, nursing a beer and observing the party going on around him. Steve came over and sat with him a few times, but each time he’d get pulled away by someone. Lucy kept her distance for a while, but after a few drinks she managed to get the courage to go up and talk to him.

“Enjoying the party?” she asked, sitting on the chair beside him. Bucky jumped. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” he said, waving it off with his metal arm. It was so shiny and she was so curious about it, but she didn’t dare ask him, at least not on the first day. That was more of a two month conversation.

“So … are you?” Lucy asked.

“Am I what?” Bucky responded, pushing his hair behind his ear. Over the course of the evening, his tie had loosened and the first two buttons on his shirt had come undone. It was a good look, although Lucy dared not mention it or even think it. She had a feeling he would sense it if she did.

“Enjoying the party.”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s fine.”

“I like getting together with everyone, but the music they play at these things …”

“It’s pretty bad,” Bucky replied with a small smile. Lucy smiled back. “It just sounds like noise to me.”

“Who’s the grandpa now?” Lucy teased. Bucky’s smile widened, his gaze falling to his beer resting on his lap.

“Touche,” he said. “But it is pretty bad.”

“I know. I prefer oldies.”

“Like …?” Bucky asked. He was actually talking to her. Like, having a conversation. Lucy could hardly believe it.

“Like the Stones.”

“Stones … Rolling Stones,” Bucky said. Lucy nodded. “I like them.”

“And the Beatles.”

“Them I haven’t really listened to yet,” Bucky told her. Lucy’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“You haven’t heard the Beatles?” she asked.

“I think I’ve heard a few songs. But not a lot. I like the Stones better.”

“Blasphemy!” Lucy exclaimed, clutching her chest. Bucky chuckled - actually chuckled. It was so soft she could barely hear it over the music, but it was there. Lucy tried to ignore the warm flutter of the butterflies. “The Beatles are the best. But … I suppose I’m biased.”

“How so?” he asked.

“I was named after one of their songs. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” Bucky’s blank stare told her that he hadn’t heard it. “Ya know, Lucy in the skkyyy with diamonds,” she sang.

“Haven’t heard it,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s a great one. But I think A Hard Day’s Night is my favorite album. The movie is hilarious.”

“They made movies?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah! It’s great. It really has no plot except following them around for a day while they prepare for a show but the music is great and they’re funny. Especially George. Everyone likes John best but I mean, c’mon … George Harrison was the best Beatle.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Bucky replied, taking another sip from his beer.

“BUCK!” Sam stumbled over to them, nearly falling over Lucy. “Oh, hey Lucy! You are looking gorgeous this evening.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Lucy muttered, smoothing the skirt of her blue dress. At least somebody noticed.

“Buck, there’s a group of girls over there that keep asking me about you, man. You’ve gotta come say hi.”

“I’m good here,” Bucky said.

“C’mon, dude. Be my wingman …”

“Why don’t you go get red wing to do that for you?” Bucky quipped. Lucy didn’t expect Bucky to be so funny. But there he was, making her laugh for the second time already that day. She practically choked on her drink.

“Ha. ha. Very funny. Seriously, dude. We could both get …” Sam seemed to forget that Lucy was there until that moment. He cleared his throat, averting Lucy’s gaze. “They want to get you a drink.”

“Got one,” Bucky said, raising his beer. “And I’m fine here. Lucy’s telling me about how the Beatles are better than the Stones.”

“Bullshit,” Sam laughed. “Beach Boys are where it’s at.”

“I did not peg you for a Mike Love fan,” Lucy said, looking up at Sam.

“Well, it shows how well you know your friends then, huh, little Lucy?” Sam booped Lucy on the nose. Lucy pretended to bite at his finger and he laughed at her, shaking his head. “C’mon Buck …”

“You’re not going to stop until I go over there, are you?” Bucky asked, heaving a heavy sigh when Sam nodded in response. “Fine.” He got up, running his hand through his dark hair. Lucy wondered if it was as soft as it looked. “It was nice talking to you,” Bucky said, pulling her out of her musings.

“You, too,” Lucy said. “Give the Beatles another chance. You won’t regret it.”

Finally, Bucky could sink into the plush bed that he’d been thinking about all day. He’d managed to escape Sam and Gina and Beth and Tori, the girls he’d introduced him to. They all seemed nice. Gina actually came up and talked to him first, but that was right when he got there and he was still freaking out about the whole party thing.

The only thing that calmed his nerves was when Steve and Lucy came to talk to him. Then again, there was something about Lucy that made him nervous, too. A different kind of nervous. Kind of … uneasy. He wasn’t sure what it was about her. Maybe it was her giddy demeanor or the way her freckles bunched up on her nose when she laughed. Or maybe it was the fact that he couldn’t decide what color her eyes were - were they blue or green? Granted, he hadn’t been brave enough to look that close. But they were vexing, still. Maybe it was the fact that she talked to him like they were already friends and yet he knew nothing about her except that George was her favorite Beatle and she was named after one of their songs. Or maybe it was the way that blue dress accentuated her curves. He couldn’t put his finger on it and it was irksome, to say the least.

He tossed and turned for a while, trying to get comfortable. It wasn’t the bed - that thing was heaven. It was just his new surroundings, he told himself. Not the brunette in the pretty blue dress.

After about an hour, he gave up and started fiddling with the tech pad that Lucy had showed him earlier. He wasn’t sure how he got to it, but he found himself pressing play on ‘Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds’. He laid back, crossing his arms behind his head and staring at the ceiling as the music filled the room.

‘Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes’

“Kaleidoscope eyes,” Bucky murmured to himself, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Tag List: @feelmyroarrrr @lesqui @badassbaker @scarletts-letters @vechkinfan @seb-smut

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes fan fiction #fan fiction #Marvel fan fiction #Sebastian stan #Kaleidoscope eyes #Moondancewrites

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