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#self improvement advice
agirlwithglam · 12 days
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Prioritising: how to prioritise + use it effectively to take control of your life.
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Hi girlies🐩💗 So yesterday i was incredibly lazy and unproductive and pathetic. I didn’t do any work and i was mostly on the screens. The worst part about it is that it was unintentional. Meaning that if it was planned as a “off day” bc i did a bunch of work that week, it would be fine. But it wasn’t planned. And it felt utterly horrible.
So i decided to take control of my life because i have no one to blame but MYSELF. I am in complete control of myself so now i am going to use that to my best advantage. It’s time to…
✨prioritise what matters✨
This is a step-by-step guide to how to prioritise what actually matters to you and then acting on it. So without further ado, lettuce(random pun sorry) begin :)
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Step 1: figure out whats important to you/ your goals.
What’s important to you in life? Is it being online and scrolling on your phone all day? Or is it getting good grades, staying healthy and happy? What is it? Identify this first.
For me, its:
Time with loved ones
Enough sleep
Good grades + being smart & educated
Looking and feeling good + taking care of myself
Having hobbies & skills
God
This is the first step to learning how to prioritising things. It’s not about doing a bunch of hard work for something that you dont even care about, it’s so that you can do a bunch of hard work for something you do care about, so you’re working towards a goal.
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Step 2: make an action plan to achieve/ accomplish these.
So now that you know whats really important and what matters to you (aka your goals), create some bullet points/ things you can do to achieve those goals.
For example;
Goal: spending more time with loved ones
Spend time with my sibling
Talk more to my parents
Call grandma / friends
Goal: getting high grades + being smart & educated
Study study study. Study for tests at least a week in advance
Read a lot. Not just what you normally read, read outside your comfort zone! (So for me this would be history, classics, arts & fashion, etc.)
Listen to podcasts about different things
Goal: feeling & looking good + taking care of myself
Wash hair 2x a week
Skincare
Pamper yourself + self care days
Exercise
Going outside/ walking
Posture!! (Calling YOU out)
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Final: execution
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Once you know these mini goals/ habits/ steps you need to take, then its time for the most important part:
Execution.
Doing all this, is completely USELESS if you don’t apply it to your life. So now it’s time to actually do it.
“B-b-but i dont have time!”
Um okay.. but you have time for scrolling? Use this thing i once heard called “time stealing”.
Whenever you catch yourself scrolling or doing something unintentionally unproductive, then stop yourself and use that time instead on doing something that moves you towards your goal.
Having the steps you can take to reach those goals written down somewhere means that whenever you feel bored or need something productive to do, you have those things to go to!
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Xoxo, Vanilla.
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selfimprovementtips · 3 months
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Finding Motivation in Life
Finding motivation in life is a personal journey that often involves self-reflection, setting goals, and cultivating positive habits. Here are some tips to help you discover and maintain motivation:
Define Your Goals: Clearly outline your short-term and long-term goals. Knowing what you want to achieve provides a sense of direction and purpose.
Break down Goals: Divide larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes the journey more achievable and allows you to celebrate small victories along the way.
Create a Vision Board: Visualize your goals by creating a vision board with images and quotes that represent your aspirations. Place it in a visible place for daily inspiration.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Positive relationships can have a significant impact on your motivation.
Learn from Setbacks: View challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Embrace failure as a natural part of the journey and use it as a stepping stone toward success.
Establish a Routine: Develop daily habits that contribute to your goals. Consistency helps build momentum and makes it easier to stay motivated.
Find Passion and Purpose: Engage in activities that genuinely interest you and align with your values. Passion fuels motivation, making it easier to stay committed.
Continuous Learning: Stay curious and open-minded. Learning new things can ignite your passion and keep you motivated to explore and improve.
Take Care of Yourself: Physical and mental well-being play a crucial role in motivation. Ensure you get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and practice self-care.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Recognizing your progress reinforces positive behaviour and keeps you motivated.
Seek Inspiration: Read books, watch documentaries, or listen to motivational speakers who inspire you. Learning from the experiences of others can provide valuable insights.
Stay Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and plans may need adjustments. Stay flexible and adapt to changes while keeping your ultimate goals in mind.
Remember, motivation is not a constant state, and it’s normal to experience fluctuations. Be patient with yourself and embrace the journey, using each experience as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
More info : Self Improvement Tips and Ideas
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theambitiouswoman · 4 months
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Green Flags in Communication 💚💬
"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."
This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.
"I don't want you to feel alone in this."
This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.
"I've been struggling with ___”
This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.
"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."
This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.
"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"
This is an example of constructive communication.
"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"
This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.
"I appreciate when you ___.”
Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.
"I didn't handle that well."
This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."
Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.
"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."
Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.
"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"
It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.
"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."
Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.
"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."
Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.
"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"
Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.
"I trust your judgment on this."
Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.
"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."
Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.
"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"
Validates the other person's feelings.
"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."
Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.
"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."
Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.
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beegalactica · 3 months
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real 'glow up' advice i wish i had
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Imagine getting to the point in life where YOU are your own vision board; where you are that girl who has the life that you want, and you don't have to seek it out through other people. That should be the ultimate goal.
Here are subtle things that you should be doing to channel your ideal person and improve yourself for the better FROM THE INSIDE
take care of your hygiene: brush your teeth every day, wash your face with soap, wash your hair, take meaningful showers
be kind to yourself: speak nicely to yourself, treat yourself every now and then, love yourself exactly the way you came
make the effort: do your hair and wear something cute, even if you're only going to the supermarket. I bet your ideal self looks stunning wherever she goes, so make that effort if you really want to become her
move your body: dance to some music for just 5 minutes, take a walk, get off the bus a (reasonable) few stops earlier and walk the rest of the way
romanticise the hell out of your life: wear those bows, create that vision board, play that aesthetic background music even if you're just washing the dishes, wear that outfit!!!!!
admire yourself: look at yourself in the mirror and remember what you look like, take a million selfies to look back and smile at, give yourself a compliment every time you pass your reflection
get creative: if you want cute decor, make it! if you want cute clothes, find some easy DIYs!
focus on what you can control: if you cannot change the situation, let it resolve itself. don't waste your precious time obsessing over something you cannot change
get to know yourself (again): rediscover your hobbies, try new activities, learn to appreciate your solitude, get out of your shell
I really wish I was part of a community like this when I was going through a really insecure and lonely phase of my life.
Instead of deciding to wake up a 3am every day from now on, and trying to reach 20k steps every day, start small and walk your way up to greatness!
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sunrisethoughts02 · 7 months
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hey just a little reminder — sometimes when you’re in survival mode, living day by day is literally all you can do. it’s all you have space for. and then when you have the space and time and release to slowly start to come out of survival mode, you have to re-learn how to live with the future in mind. learning from your past. making your future self proud. doing things your future self will thank you for. and I don’t see a lot of people talking about how TERRIFYING that is. but it is. it’s really, really scary to plan and learn what healthy self discipline looks like and how to greet every version of yourself. and so if that’s you today — I’m very proud of you. there’s nothing shameful about relearning something. you’re doing so well! I’m so glad you got this far <3
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8 Habits to Improve Your Productivity and Achieve Your Goals.
Do you struggle with staying productive and achieving your goals? In this video, we'll share 8 habits that can help you improve your productivity and reach your goals faster. From setting clear priorities to taking breaks and staying organized, these habits are easy to implement and can make a big difference in your daily routine. Whether you're a student, entrepreneur, or just looking to be more productive, these tips will help you stay on track and achieve your goals. So, grab a pen and paper and get ready to take some notes!
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becomingthatgirl111 · 26 days
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be aware of what you consume:
the energy of others: surround yourself with positive people and avoid those who drain you.
the videos you watch: select content that inspires, educates or entertains you in a healthy way.
what you read: look for reliable sources and material that enriches you intellectually.
who you follow: follow people who inspire and challenge you to grow.
what you scroll through on social media: avoid negative content and look for something that motivates you or makes you feel good.
the news: look for objective sources of information and avoid information overload.
highlights of others: compare less and celebrate more the achievements of others.
the advice you listen to: evaluate advice according to your criteria and needs.
source: @zamirasaba
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KIND REMINDERS 🤍
1. You are someone’s dream girl exactly the way you are right now.
We put so much emphasis on growth and getting to that “next best place”, which is fine, but we always forget that we deserve self-love as we are right now. It does not mean that you aren’t at your “best” physically and/or mentally that you aren’t deserving of love, kindness, and respect.
2. Perspective is everything
Stop stressing over that one bad grade you received at school. In ten years, you won’t even remember what teacher gave it to you. Focus your energy on things that’ll have lasting impacts. When you look back on your life, you want to see the beauty of it, not the anguish.
3. Growth isn’t linear
Don’t blame yourself for messing up. We aren’t perfect and we are bound to mess up every once in a while. Learn from your mistakes, and try to not repeat them. And if you do, that’s okay, there’s always another time. Growth has no time limit.
4. You are not a bad person
If you are sitting here constantly asking yourself if you are a bad person or underserving of love, I’m here to tell you one thing: bad people don’t worry about whether they are perceived as “good” or “bad”. Give yourself grace, and stop letting your overthinking consume you.
So much love,
A girl unfiltered 💋
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femmefatalevibe · 11 months
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Femme Fatale Guide: Game-Changing TED Talks Everyone Should Watch
"How Five Simple Words Can Get You What You Want" by Janine Driver
"Master your Mindset, Overcome Self-Deception, Change your Life" by  Shadé Zahrai
"How to talk to the worst parts of yourself" by Karen Faith
"Think before you speak, hacking the secret of communication" by Catherine Molloy
"The Hidden Code For Transforming Dreams Into Reality" by Mary Morrissey
"Don't Believe Everything You Think" by Lauren Weinstein
"The public speaking lesson you never had" by DK
"Programming your mind for success" by Carrie Green
"How to stop screwing yourself over" by Mel Robbins
"Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success" by Louise Evans
"The psychology of seduction" by Raj Persaud
"Why we're unhappy -- the expectation gap" by Nat Ware
"Think Fast. Talk Smart" by Matt Abrahams 
"Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix' by Tasha Eurich 
"5 steps to designing the life you want" by Bill Burnett
"Staying stuck or moving forward" by Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko
"To reach beyond your limits by training your mind" by Marisa Peer
"Emotional laws are the answer for better relationships" by Diana Wais
"Feelings: Handle them before they handle you" by Mandy Saligari
"Cultivating Unconditional Self-Worth" by Adia Gooden 
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girlbloggerbby · 9 months
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Being your big sister pt²
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You must change your pads every 4 hours at least, this avoids the accumulation of bacteria and diseases
Charcoal pills help to stop poisoning in your dog!
Never and ever wash your lace clothes in the washing machine please! I learned the hard way (ruined my favorite corset 😭)
Your armpits are dark and stained because you use spray deodorant, these sprays dry the area, prefer to use roll-on or cream deodorants that moisturize more
Never put out a pan on fire by throwing water! This will make it explode, throw a damp cloth over it and put out the flame, if you spilled boiling water or oil on your skin immediately go to the sink and rinse under running water for a few minutes before doing anything else
Wash your jeans stuff by hand and with neutral products because they fade easily
Mix your perfume in a moisturizer of the same fragrance (similar) or unscented and apply it to your body, this will enhance the fragrance and last longer on your skin
Magnesium pills are the holy grail for us anemic girlies, it boost our energy, help with fainting and migraines
Research more about connectives before writing an essay, learning to use new forms of connectives will diversify and increase the level of writing essays
Bathing in very hot water destroys your skin and hair by drying out and weakening it over time
Person is not happy with your achievement=stay away from these people and remove them from your life
That's it for the day and i hope i was of some help, luv y'all 🪽
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honeytonedhottie · 2 months
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building a new life and identity⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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building a new identity and life for urself is actually easier than it sounds. u only need to commit to the new identity.
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WHO IS THE PERSON THAT U WANT TO BE ;
how do they act? what is their education? that’s the first question to ask urself. i talked about a garden analogy in one of my previous posts but just in case u missed that i’ll remind u:
so basically imagine urself as a gardener and ur life is ur garden. it’s boundless. u can fill the garden with flowers 🌸 and plants, anything u desire really. think of ur desires as the flowers that u fill ur garden 🪴 with. the plants that u water the most or the pay the most attention to will grow beautifully. this is how manifestation is. 
so what i’ve been doing lately is keeping 2-3 affirmations on loop in my brain whenever i get a minute to. (kinda like when u put something on queue in ur mind) when im doing mindless activities or something. i’ll repeat the affirmations in my mind OR out loud. but i’ll only do this when i want to. (cuz nothing in manifestation should be forced) 
doing this, i kinda imagine my affirmations as watering my manifestations 🪷. now that we’ve established setting up ur garden, let’s FILL it. (this is the funnest part) i want u to write down who u desire to be as though u were already that person living that life. so you’d title ur page (who i am) 
my name is ___ i am ___ years old 
ur personality and character traits 
ur skills and talents 
ur appearance 
ur self concept and how life treats u 
ur education 
ur relationships
how long it takes u to get everything u want 
literally EVERYTHING. this is scripting. ur creating a script in which ur reality will follow. next we need to PRACTICE the script. 
how do we do that? being delulu, affirming, manifestation exercises, daydreaming, SATS, literally PRETENDING. fulfilling urself in ur imagination is u practicing the script. 
once the script is persisted in enough and well practiced you’ll see it play out in ur life. congratulations, you’ve built a new life and identity for urself <3 (this is a remake of one of my old posts in my newer style)
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xoxomireya · 4 months
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!ᶻz﹒the ultimate friendship guide﹒🦢﹕⤾
tysm for requesting @jasminejournal < 3 ! i had a lot of fun making this.
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I. YOU CAN’T NATURALLY MATCH WITH EVERYONE
First things first: You can’t be friends with everyone. apart from the obvious “a friend to all is a friend to none”, it’s quite unrealistic to expect everyone to like you, and that’s okay! You just have to acknowledge that you aren’t meant to be liked by everyone.
Find people who are like-minded, who give you the same energy back, who have the same values, people that have healed and don’t bring their baggage and toxicity into the friendship. quality >>> quantity. Not everyone is meant for you and that’s okay, because we are not seeking quantity, we are looking for quality friends who have all the values i listed before and the ones you also find important.
The world is your oyster. in this era it’s easier than ever to make friends: meet a lot of people, say yes to plans, go to events, network, etc. The more people you meet the more you will realize that you can’t match naturally with everyone, some people are just not your vibe and the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you do mesh well together with. I completely understand that it might be harder for some people who are introverted or have social anxiety to socialize, but in that case I really recommend to work firstly on yourself because a lot of the times those things are triggered by insecurities and a bad relationship with oneself. I also recommend to practice with people online or people who know nothing about you, because that’s the thing: they know nothing about you. If you’re insecure, they don’t know that. If you’re acting in a confident way even though you’re not, they’re also not going to know because they don’t know the way you think or act.
Maybe the problem is YOU. Ifyou’re always losing friendships and struggling to maintain them, maybe the common denominator is you because you have issues you need to introspect. Focus on yourself for some time and fix all the issues that might be making you repel high-value people such as being insecure, romanticizing your sadness, having toxic and jealous behaviors…
II. WHERE AND HOW TO MEET PEOPLE
Like-minded communities !! You need to utilize the resources you have to make friends. friends that last are the ones who think in a similar way and who share similar values and interests, and you’re more likely to find like-minded people in like-minded communities. Build up the courage to go and do things alone so you become comfortable in going to places to meet people alone.
Some like-minded communities can be classes in which they teach hobbies of yours because when there’s a community of people whom you have to coexist with you will be forced to work together in a team and talk to each other and that will make it a lot more easier to make friends. Plus, you’re taking the same class so you’re going to have an interest/hobby to bond over which means automatic conversations without any awkwardness. Another option is to become a regular literally ANYWHERE. Ranging from a coffee shop to a gym, when you become a regular you familiarize with the staff and other regulars.
We’re living in an era in which technology can help you with almost anything. Use this to your advantage! Make online friends, use social media to search for like-minded people, download apps to make friends such as bumble bff…
III. HIGH-VALUE FRIENDS.
Now that you’ve prepared yourself and know where to find friends, let’s talk about how to know when someone is right for you.
Look for people who strive to be the best version of themselves and who are surrounded by positive energy. You are who you surround yourself with, so make friends that bring you positivity and who inspire you. Make sure that you both share how you want your future to look like and have similar future plans. Meshing well with them is a must. For example, someone who prefers and feels more comfortable having low maintenance friendships won’t match with someone who prefers to have high maintenance friendships.
And of course, respect is needed. You cross my boundaries? You’re out. Any sort of toxic or jealous behavior is NOT normal and you should not be friends or be influenced by that type of people.
IV. WHAT TO TALK ABOUT AND HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.
Do NOT come off as desperate. “What if they don’t like me?” Thinking like that will only make you be so immerse in your thoughts that all of your confidence will disappear. Focus on having a “How can I make them feel comfortable and understood?” mindset, you’re now not thinking only about yourself and being self-conscious, so you’re going to appear more confident and since now you’re focusing on listening and making the other person feel comfortable you will make an amazing first impression.
Ask them questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves and this will immediately make them like you. Do not make it look like an interview, tho. Make sure you provide your input too which shouldn’t be hard because every question you ask is going to be redirected to you. You can also start the conversation with a compliment!
Friendship is a two way street. It needs to go both ways and you need to follow up with each other. What are they offering you? What are YOU offering them? Think about what can you give without forgetting what can you receive. The type of friend you want is the type of friend you need to be
V. HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS
Everyone has the type of friendship maintenance they feel more comfortable with, but it's a fact that low-maintenance friendships are tho ones that last. Even if you feel more comfortable having high maintenance friendships, make sure that both of you can accomodate to having to maintain the friendship even when both of you are busy.
COMMUNICATION!!! I assure you that there's probably going to be a lot of hardships and misundersatings in your friendships (And that's not bad, we're human) and no proper communication will lead to the deterioration of the friendship.
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theambitiouswoman · 7 months
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Don't tell people your boundaries. Show them.
If you tell someone they can't talk to you a certain way or do certain things, those are not boundaries. Boundaries are things we show. If you tell someone "if you do that again I am not going to speak to you" and you stay and continue to speak to them, that's not a boundary. Just words. Words that they now know means absolutely nothing and they can take advantage of.
You show people how to treat you.
You reinforce your boundaries with your actions. Unless you show someone with your actions that what they are doing is not okay, and you do not continue to allow it, they will keep doing it.
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sunrisethoughts02 · 11 months
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And the most important thing to remember is that you have time. Time to discover new people and new projects and new places; time to heal from your past and your wounds. You might feel like you’re getting nothing done and nothing is happening, but you have time to discover your soul. It will happen for you <3
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writethatdown · 1 year
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a reminder that when you are distancing yourself from people, situations and things that are toxic, but were a great priority in your life in the past, there will be times when you doubt if you could really do it. there will be times when you would want to crawl back to the comfort you had known. it may get lonely. sending love to all those people who are trying their best to hold up the choice to cut off toxic things even when the decision feels so utterly bitter. i want to remind you that there is no shame in missing the person, the situation or that thing, craving the comfort, wishing that things were different. there might even be instances where you fall back to the familiar patterns. and life will continuously show you why it didn't work out, continuously try to remind you that you deserve better. please do not shame yourself for struggling with this love. the lesson cannot be forced. the journey cannot be fast paced. let things flow. i promise you, at the end of this journey there is win, and there is a better future with people and places and things that truly belong to you and that you truly deserve. it can be a very lonely time, and i know that it's gnawing. it is painful. i am sending you lots of love and strength your way ♡
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mikajunie · 2 months
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rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)
this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.
signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):
you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities
you find ways to avoid the responsibilities
every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again
when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).
you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.
you are a walking ball of anxiety
you have a fear of being perceived
there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences
below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7
some things u gotta remember
shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.
your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.
shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.
instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.
shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself
shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.
what should u do?
basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.
examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.
why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?
reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.
remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.
calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.
now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.
WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.
train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.
ok hope this helps.
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