#ptsd advice

[royalberryriku]

Update with a thing and also a question about PTSD reactions and protesting.

// kinda personal but also like feel free to rb or comment, esp if you can relate and have advice.

So I recently went to a protest for the first time since my first ever experience which ended with leaving before it even began because of a panic attack. I coped way better after using methods to calm myself and to focus on being present in myself and practicing mindfulness and whatnot, but does anyone else have anything that works when you have an aversion to loud yelling, esp with aggressive tones?

Like, I've always had a reaction to when people yell angrily, I can handle loud people and yelling, but when the tone becomes too anger angry, that's when I go into fight or flight. My body's reaction is to stop everything, freeze, shake and just break down completely into a mess. I start to catastrophize, thinking I'll get attacked by a counter process out of nowhere, or by angry bystanders, police, etc, despite how illogical the thoughts are. In worst cases have flashbacks of times when I've experienced aggression from family and how it's made me feel unsafe and still feel unsafe during those moments.

So my question is for people who have aggressive yelling as a trigger, or just who struggle in things like protests, how do you handle it? I have a few things now to help a bit and maybe make it possible to protest sometimes, but if I wanted to protest more, would there be anything I could do to lessen or work on these reactions?

Besides that though, I am proud at least that I made it the whole way through, spoke to people and tried to even help the organisers as best I could once it was over. I'm especially proud of the effort I made to come despite it being during a particularly bad week for my mental health when my pop (a huge stressor and cause of at least some of the PTSD) was around. Despite having had a panic attack because he was coming to stay over at our house, I still went and I think that's a huge step for me to make and something that definitely wasn't easy to do. So yay me lol. There's more I want to be able to do, things I want to do to make it even safer for me and to make my environment more stable, but one step at a time and this was a big one for me.

#personal? kinda? #protests and ptsd #ptsd awareness #ptsd advice #idk what else to tag this as #help #ptsd help #mental health question

[skorupskieemerald]

#ptsd tag #trans advice #nfl #charlie #bulgaria #littleforbig #hannah palmer #baby butch #submission

[moonlit-positivity]

You don't need everyone to like you. I understand this can be an overwhelming trauma response to being neglected and otherwise hurt as a kid without the comfort and reassurance of our parents. But please try to remember that your worth is not dependent on how many people can love you. You have something much more important and worth protecting-- your heart and soul and mind and spirit. Not everyone you meet in this world is gonna resonate and vibe with you on those same levels. You've got to get comfortable with the concept of being misunderstood or feeling out of place-- and, rather than fawn to fit in, take that as a sign to find the spaces and people who can better appreciate you for it.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #people pleasing #fawn #fawn response #codependency #relationships #communication #shadow work #inner child #inner child healing #abusive relationships #abusive parenting #toxic relationships #suggestions #reminders #advice #self care #bpd

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Apple Seed 7: Demons

Charlie: (nestled into bed and surrounded by a maternity pillow to help prop up her heavy set baby belly) Are you sure you're alright with me going to bed early? I can stay up a little longer and help with the new residents' paperwork.

Vaggie: (cups Charlie's cheek and brushes her thumb over the bright red circle, slipping her finger into the well hidden dimple camouflaged underneath) I'm sure, hun. I can handle it just fine. I'll be in bed in about two- (checks the bedside clock) -two and a half hours.

Charlie: (pouts) But-

Vaggie: (presses a finger to Charlie's lips) No, no hables más, mi amor. You've been sleeping horribly for weeks. If you're tired, you should sleep. I can take over so you can rest. ¿Comprende?

Charlie: (huffs childishly but eyes slowly soften as she kisses Vaggie's finger) Yes, Ma'am. I understand. (snuggles under the covers and strokes her belly) I love you, Vaggie.

Vaggie: I love you too, querida. (kisses Charlie's forehead) Good night. (slowly exits the room and shuts the door with a soft click)

Vaggie: (sighs heavily and shuffles down the hall with an uneasy stride and hunch in her shoulders) Mierda... What am I going to do?

Vaggie: (enters the office and sits behind the desk, slowly opening a side drawer to reveal a hidden flask and pulling it out to take a pull of the liquor inside) Fuck.... Now, I'm drinking by myself because of this... Shit....

-Silence-

Vaggie: (bites her lip and pulls out her phone) I cannot believe I'm doing this. (dials the number and sets the phone to speaker)

-Brrrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrd! ....Brrrrrrrrd!-

Carmilla: Carmine Industries. State your business.

Vaggie: (nervous) Uh, hello, Ms. Carmine. This is Vaggie Morningstar.

Carmilla: I'm well aware who you are, Vaggie. That's the point of caller ID. What do you want?

Vaggie: (under her breath) Gee, aren't you just as perky as ever. (clears her throat) I'm... in need of some... ugh...shit.... advice.

Carmilla: .............I'm listening.

Vaggie: You have two daughters.

Carmilla: How astute of you.

Vaggie: Smartass comments aside! (gets quiet and nervous) How... do you do it?

Carmilla: ..........I must say. Normally, I'd pride myself on being able to understand most nonsensical babbling, but I'm not quite following yours. Elaborate.

Vaggie: (sighs and sinks into the chair) How do you do it? Hold your kids when you have blood on your hands? (stares at her palms and flinches as flashes of deep crimson blood stain her fingers before returning to normal)

Carmilla: I see. This is about your prior Exorcist work and the baby on the way, isn't it?

Vaggie: (nods sullenly before remembering that she's on a voice call) Fuck! Yes! This is about that! How can I hold a perfect little being after everything I've done?! After all the people I've killed here in Hell? (flood gates open as her emotions run wild and tears sting her eyes) I know Charlie has forgiven me, but what if I hurt them? What if... I'm not good enough?

Carmilla: .............

Vaggie: (slowly calms down and wipes the tears from her eyes)

Carmilla: (softly) Because when that child is born, the hands that you once used to kill will be used to protect something even more precious than you could ever imagine.

Vaggie: (blinks) Carmine?

Carmilla: That innocent, perfect little baby will rely on you for everything the moment they're born. Your wife will rely on you to help her shoulder the burden. Do you honestly think that child will care about the people you killed when they only know the love you've given it? The care you've provided to it and it's mother?

Vaggie: But.... what if I-

Carmilla: Taint it? (huffs a laugh) With what? Slightly sullied hands that may or may not be covered in spit up? A child isn't tainted by the past sins of a parent, stupid girl.

Vaggie: (glances at her hands and watches as the blood washes away to a gross, white milky substance and cringes at the thought of spit up) Not sure how much I want that either....

Carmilla: Just remember to burp the child thoroughly between changing breasts if the princess is breastfeeding, and especially after. It should help with any projectile vomiting.

Vaggie: (smiles softly and relaxes) Do... you have anymore words of maternal wisdom for me? I... uh... feel pretty useless right now.

Carmilla: Hmmph. (sits down at her desk and leans back in amusement) Grab a notebook, and I'll give you a few tricks of the trade.

#apple seed au #apple seed #part 7 #angst #chaggie #vaggie #pregnant charlie #charlie morningstar #carmilla carmine #nervous dad vaggie #ptsd #good grandma carmine #mama carmine #inner demons #mother - adopted daughter moments #thanks anon for requesting some light vaggie angst #thank you maricantstandyou for requesting some carmine advice

[missvoodoodoll]

Nobody talks about how ugly your healing era is going to be, and what comes along with it. The PTSD, the anxiety, the crying, the overwhelming guilt that you face. All you see is the transformation of that person emerging out of their cocoon. But, you don't see what they had to go through to let themselves fly, unless you've been through it yourself. It's going to be an ugly journey, and that's completely okay. Let yourself feel and then you can finally heal. 🖤

#personal #real talk #healing #healing era #trauma #advice #healing advice #ptsd

[sage-hazeline]

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

#cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #actually cptsd #cptsd problems #cptsd coping #cptsd advice #cptsd tag #ptsd #ptsd treatment #childhood ptsd #complex ptsd #madd #dissociative vent #depersonalization #depersonalisation tw #depersonalisation and derealisation #idk depersonalized? #depersonalisation disorder #derealistion #derealisation tw #derealisation disorder

[fairy-switchblade]

✅ GOOD reasons why a stone butch might want to transition out of being stone:

having reached a point in personal healing where this feels like the next productive step. Healing very often does not mean leaving stone behind, but for some it can. It’s an extremely personal decision, based on the specifics of the individuals unique circumstances and goals.

having confidence that transitioning out is the right thing for them, and reaching a point where they have the resources and support in place to go about it safely

being stone feels limiting instead of empowering.

Identifying as stone feels like something that you just ‘have to put up with,’ that doesn’t truly reflect how you want to live but was forced on you by life. Feeling that being stone isn’t up to you, and if you could wave a magic wand and make it different, you definitely would.

because being stone is something you learnt to associate with being butch, and you’ve come to feel that it isn’t what you want, but you’re afraid that if you’re not stone then you’re not ‘butch enough’ (you are.)

most important: Because you want to, not anyone else. Thats it tbh.

❌ NOT good reasons for butches to transition out of being stone:

Because your partner has said they’ll leave you if you wont. (The curb. They belong on the curb.)

Because other people in your LGBT community think it’s weird, offensive, odd, etc. (Get better friends.)

Because you know you ultimately want to transition out, but you’re not ready. Ie: You’re rushing yourself into it.

Because you’ve been told abandoning stone is linear to healing (it’s not, and that is a deeply harmful misconception)

Because you’ve been told that you can’t be stone and feel happy and fulfilled. Utter nonsense.

#I saw that apparently we’re not talking about this #Well lets talk about it theres no sense in pretending it doesn’t happen #butch #butch lesbian #Stone #Stone butch #trauma #complex ptsd #advice

[spread-positivity-everywhere]

#positivity #love #self love #advice #mental health #mental health support #self care #take care of yourself #op #recovery #depression #anxiety #ptsd

[system-of-a-feather]

People are allowed to hurt others.

Clickbait phrasing aside, I think it is an important thing in life to acknowledge that people - including you - are allowed to hurt people, especially if you are a survivor of trauma. It's one of the things I have to verbally restate to my fiance who relatively recently got hit with the trauma bus after repressing it for a while, but you ARE allowed to hurt people.

Of course, intentionally hurting someone is a dick move.

Of course, unintentionally hurting someone is a sucky situation for them and not a cool and fun thing

Of course, hurting someone is not the ideal but even then

You are allowed to hurt people. It is not this horrible moral failing or evil behavior or completely reprehensible thing to hurt someone. Intentionally or not, if you hurt someone, it is not something that makes you unredeemable or tainted or unlovable or a horrible person.

It is part of human nature - part of life - to every now and again make poor decisions - intentionally or not - that end up affecting another person poorly. May that person be a stranger or a close friend or what not, its just part of life experiences to run into these situations and it is OK to hurt others.

You don't need to be punished. You don't need to grovel. It's not the end of a relationship in any inherent means.

And while it is okay to hurt people, whats the MOST important thing is that when you realize you've hurt someone is to acknowledge it and - if its someone important to you - do what you can to apologize and try not to repeat the mistakes made

But everyone hurts people every now and again.

Expecting yourself and the people in your life to live their entire life without ever getting a speck of dirt on their hands (for those that struggle with analogies, "live their entire life without ever hurting anyone") is something that just won't work out in the long run.

Hurting someone is a singular action that does not have to define your life moving forward.

What does matter is how you handle and respond to it.

#alter: riku #boundaries #relationship advice #relationships #recovery #trauma #ptsd #c-ptsd #self esteem #depression #anxiety

[escapedaudios]

Writing tip: if you're going to write trauma into any of your characters, you can't be afraid to show the ugly part. You have to, otherwise it falls flat. It's really disappointing when someone makes a traumatized character and they only stick to the ✨️aesthetic✨️ "I'm so deep" type of romanticized fictional trauma.

I'm sorry but that's trash writing and completely disingenuous. Trauma is a lot to overcome, trauma can make you a worse person. It can make you lash out, it can make you unfairly push people away. It's so fucking stupid when a character's trauma is just like "yes I'm traumatized and I haven't gotten over it and the only effect it had on me is that now I'm deep and inherently more empathetic but sometimes I'm sad". The other version is "I'm traumatized thats why I have this endearing sense of sarcasm and dark fashion, I'm so much smarter than the non-traumatized characters". Man shut up.

Grow a spine. Let the characters have ugly moments. Let them do things that they regret. Don't force yourself to try and make them perfect and endearing and sympathetic to the audience at all times. Trust me you'll be glad you did.

#writer thoughts #writing advice #trauma #writing trauma #ptsd #mental health in fiction

[thelastbraincell]

The best part of inheritance is when Arya tells Eragon that maybe, if he tried hard enough, she could love him in 50 years

And she was being dead serious

#he was like gurl byeeeeee #I’m leaving the country for good because I became too powerful #thanks for the vegetarian cooking advice and all but I’m gone #his dragon was getting railed and he just had to sit listening to Arya while already fulling knowing he was gonna leave anyway #I love books that you can’t erase the horror with the final victory #my little ptsd-haver farmer boy #eragon #the inheritance cycle

[basuralindo]

So I was asked to expand on the whole Jamil having a trauma response to Leona comment on my last post, aaand here's that.

(This pertains to chapter 6 btw, so spoiler warning)

(also it's very much sleep deprived rambling so sorry if it's, well, rambly)

First off, I'm operating under the assumption that he has cPTSD. Jamil has clearly been programmed since birth to always obey the Asims and act in their best interests, even at the expense of his own life. This is a boy who has been forced to eat poison to protect them and their assets, who's family was forced to let that happen, and who has been so desperate his entire life to escape that situation that he was willing to resort to murder and doom not just himself but his whole family which he is implied to care about. Which means if simply quitting was an option, he would have done so. So, you kinda have to infer that he and his family don't have a choice in this role, and there are severe enough consequences for disobedience that fucking up or refusing is a worse option than risking a slow painful death every time Kalim wants to eat something. And this is all stuff that's been depicted blatantly in canon, not even touching on the assumptions that could be made from there.

So that's the position Jamil is in. That is a traumatic situation. This is a guy who has been groomed for servitude and obedience since he was old enough to talk. These kinds of circumstances absolutely can lead someone to be triggered into subservience or other trained behaviors. That's just, a thing with trauma.

Now, with the Asims being one of if not THE most powerful merchant families in their country, one of the expectations of Jamil as their servant and especially as the attendant to their heir is to ensure good relationships with other rich and powerful families, especially royalty. This was shown in the fireworks event, where he states that as a prince, if Malleus came to any harm under his watch while a guest of the Asims, it could start an international conflict. These are incredibly high stakes, a misstep on Jamil's part could ruin the Asim family and potentially even endanger his country, and it's pretty strongly implied that he and his family would take the blame and suffer the consequences. Now, much like how wearing a company logo while at work makes your actions representative of your employer, Jamil serving the Asims 24/7 (and especially as the chaperone of their heir) means that he is representing their family At All Times. This is why he is forced to defer to Kalim in all aspects of life even outside of their country, part of his job is to make his employers look good, and there are consequences for not doing so. This means that anyone of high enough status to be significant to the Asims is someone who Jamil is required to be subordinate to.

Then, enter Leona. As a wealthy prince, he would be someone who Jamil is expected maintain good relations with at any cost to himself. With his position Leona could literally destroy Jamil's (and probably his family's) entire life with a single complaint to the Asims about his conduct. Like, he could do that with no actual cause just for fun, because the Asims are 100% going to take the side of a prince over an expendable servant. This means that one misstep or any backtalk from Jamil puts him at massive risk, it is entirely up to Leona whether or not he suffers for any of these actions, and while the audience knows Leona's personal morals would prevent him from actually doing that, Jamil does not.

THEREFORE (sorry this ended up so long), once Jamil was in a life threatening situation with Leona, it seems likely that all this programming and fear would manifest in desperately trying to protect him and follow orders the way he's always done for Kalim. To me, the way he snapped into bodyguard mode, and immediately complied with every one of Leona's bitchy commands (like giving him a hair ornament to throw away without question, and barely saying anything about it after), even while being humiliated and knowing he was less trained in magic, just comes off more like a trigger response than anything. Especially because I can't imagine that situation not being triggering, and I can't imagine him knowing any other way to respond.

#jamil viper #leona kingscholar #jamil ptsd analysis #twst #this is also why I got so pissed about leona's behavior in that chapter #like I do genuinely like his character. he's one of my favorites and I get where he was coming from #but boy was being ignorant as all fuck #like jamil is so heavily implied to be an indentured servant #and leona could probably buy his whole family #there's no version of 'i know what it's like to feel overlooked. suck it up and work with what you've got' advice #that could benefit Jamil from this guy #because changing your attitude and putting in the work doesn't free you from a situation like that #and I can only assume that coming from a free country in the modern world #Leona just hasn't considered that Jamil would BE in a situation like that. it's not exactly normal #and this is the guy so out of touch he thought Ruggie's home was a doghouse. so I mean. giving him the benefit of the doubt on this #but goddamn was that out of touch. and I just hate how they wrote the conclusion between them #not the intended subject when i wrote this. but tagging it as #leojami #for the small steps crowd in case they get curious about what else i have to say on them?? #i feel like some of the thoughts from this post are gonna be playing into the story

[moonlit-positivity]

Your worth cannot be measured by someone else's opinion of you 🌸

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #boundaries #mental health #healing #healing thoughts #self love #self worth #self esteem #self care #positivity #affirmations #encouragement #reminders #soft positivity #soft reminders #advice #relationships #toxic parenting

[lyraeon]

A while back I learned something important from my therapist, and since I was trying to recount it anyway to share with a friend, I thought I would bring it to y'all as well.

We have all had at least one of those days where we've stayed up way too late doing something fun but we just don't want to stop doing it. Logically I figured that's just because "well yeah I don't want to stop, I have to go to sleep then to work and those suck compared to it."

Except then that starts happening often and you feel bad about always staying up every night, but then you feel worse and get more stressed because you know you're doing something you're "not supposed to", but because you're more stressed you want more fun time... endless cycle.

But as I was talking about it all and told her I thought I was self-sacrificing, the therapist had a very useful question for me:

"How do you normally know it's time to stop having fun? Like you know it's time to finish work because your shift's over, you know it's time to stop doing the dishes when they're all done or the washer's full, what is your signal to stop having fun?"

And I had to search for a while to answer.

"When the activity is done" - okay sure, but many games and books and series, or doing your own creative thing, "done" may take days upon days or even be non-existent.

"When I had to pass the controller" - obvious and easy one! If you knew you had a finite turn then the defined end is readily there, and you're also prepared for it! But requires pre-arranging the limits.

"When I got in trouble for it" - ding ding ding, we found the big problem.

When you grow up with "fun" being a forbidden activity you're only allowed to do after everything else is done to 100% perfection, then you learn to sneak it in where you can fit it. And you need that shit, seriously - you cannot get through life without some source of enjoyment, some tiny glimmer of joy among the tedium.

Many of us learned to read under the covers, or to play our gameboy in the bathroom and hide it under the sink, or that we could get away with running around the backyard for another 20 minutes if we just learned which intonation of "come inside" was the actual trouble line, or whatever other ways to cram in as much joy as we could before the hammer came down, for whatever severity that meant in your house.

And so that feeling of "I shouldn't be doing this, I'm going to get caught, but if I'm going to get in trouble anyway I might as well get as much out of this as I can" becomes part of what you expect to feel when you're having fun. And you only know how to stop having fun when you feel that way when you get in trouble for it - and in absence of anyone else controlling your behavior, that means the bad guy becomes either whatever task pops up to remind you responsibilities exist, or your significant other pointing out it's really late and they wish you'd come to bed, or your boss yelling at you for being tired all the time... or it becomes you.

If you don't learn that fun isn't a forbidden activity, if you stay stuck in the mindset that it's something you have to cram in in secret and hide that you're even doing? It becomes so so easy to hate the voice of reason in your head that's trying to encourage moderation and we're going to regret this tomorrow.

And that escalates. You keep being too tired the next day. You keep feeling even worse when you sit down to enjoy yourself the next night because now you're already tired, so stress gets to you faster, and now you feel guilty about how late you're staying up so you're not really enjoying playing your game or scrolling Tumblr or whatever anymore, you're just nervously glancing at the clock, "have I spent too long yet? How much longer can I do this before I get in trouble?"

Even though now you're in your 20s or 30s and it's been a decade since the last time anyone else told you it was bed time.

Learning that you're allowed to have fun isn't easy; guilt and shame are emotions that run very, very deep. And neither is learning to have a healthier relationship with saying "okay, that's enough for today".

For one, you have to stop threatening yourself. "Tomorrow is gonna suck" and "You're going to regret this" and "we're going to get in trouble at work" don't work. You already feel bad, you already know it's gonna suck, so why wouldn't you try to cram in one more hour now while it's not the day that's going to suck yet? Punishment is not incentive.

Because by now you're in a situation where sleep is a horrifying punishment that ends any fun, but you're not enjoying your fun anyway because you're tired all the time on top of feeling ashamed for doing something fun, and you're spending the entire time beating yourself up for being an idiot with no self control who can't even handle going to bed on time like a normal human being...

etc etc etc.

You will hear a lot of people give advice on how to get rid of the idea of having to "earn" sleep or fun or happiness by doing "enough" other things. To learn to accept that just being alive is enough reason to "deserve" to do those things. That will work for some people, but for others it just ends up one more thing to scold yourself about, especially when you're already in the habit not of denying yourself entirely but instead of doing it and feeling guilty the whole time.

But learning to set limits ahead of time, so that you're not anticipating some unknown time that a nebulous authority figure is going to finally have their horror monster timer run out and leap out at you but instead know when and what to expect? Holy shit it helped.

Don't get me wrong, it hella felt like depriving myself at first, like I was being grounded, and I looked at my phone beeping saying it was bedtime quite often and got annoyed.

But then I stopped treating fun as something that had to wait until the end of the day and everything else had to be done first. It is way easier to stare down sleep and go "I don't need you", especially if you have any kind of insomnia making the idea of being in bed a dreadful one on top of it. It is harder to say that about dinner, or calling a friend, or walking the dog. Plus then the day isn't over yet, so giving up on your fun isn't also accepting that as the defining moment of the end of your day!

So you have to start practicing looking for places to squeeze in a little more fun - "I've got an hour before dinner, that's perfect to make some tea and watch two episodes." "My favorite youtuber just put up a new video, why don't I take a break to watch it before I finish this homework?" "I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway, and if I leave an hour early I could go kick around the bookstore first."

And once you do, fun starts to feel less shameful.

Don't get me wrong, if your issues run deep enough it still does sometimes. But when you get to have these moments of joy that you don't feel the need to hide or apologize for and where punishment isn't part of the routine, then fun stops feeling like something you have to dig your claws into for fear of having it taken away from you once someone catches you with it. And that means that finishing a level and glancing over at the clock is something you do because it actually managed to click a satisfaction switch in your head and you wondered if it was a good note to end on for now, instead of something you do with your breath held and the berating words already cycling in your mind.

I am not offering this advice expecting it to work for everyone or be easy or anything like that. I am someone with Depression, ADHD, and pretty severe PTSD sharing a technique that one therapist told me that really happened to click for and help me specifically, in case it might help someone else be a little nicer to themselves today, too.

#mental health #PTSD #child abuse / #abuse / #depression #insomnia #long post #unsolicited advice #don't mind me just journaling in public

[sysmedsaresexist]

New Coping Strategy Achieved

If you sleep fifteen hours a day, there's less time to be stressed

#this is not medical advice #coping #stress #ptsd #things i tell myself as i go for another nap #did #OSDD #actuallydid #actuallyosdd

[mycptsdstory]

#twitter quotes #twitter post #twitter meme #cptsd meme #cptsd memes #ptsd meme #ptsd memes #meme #memes #quote of the day #quote of the week #life quote #friendship #friendships #cptsdhealing #living with cptsd #cptsd vent #cptsd problems #cptsd thoughts #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #tw cptsd #actually ptsd #cptsd tag #friend advice #friendship advice