#plus there’s nothing more i can really do there anyway my grade is horrible

[obsidiancreates]

An Honest Talk

(Got to the episode where Valerie gets the ghost hunting stuff. I just want her to be happy and not Filled With Vengeful Rage so, here's this.)

Jazz sees the whole thing.

Really, Valerie isn't even good at hiding it. As soon as that Ghost Hunter shows up at that school game, Jazz figures it out. Not just because her voice is the same, but because of the insults she shouts while hanging in that basketball hoop. Sure, Jazz is in a higher grade, but she's heard that A-Lister group plenty of times in the hallways and after school.

They're real jerks. But not murderous jerks.

So she decides to do something about it. No-one attacks her baby brother. ... Well, except other ghosts. But Jazz can't always help with those.

This? No problem.

"Hey, Valerie."

Valerie jolts, yelping and almost dropping what is clearly some kind of ghost-detecting device. "Who are- ugh, aren't you Fenton's sister? What do you want?"

"To talk to you," Jazz says in her most empathetic voice. "I noticed you're having kind of a rough time."

"Why do you care?"

"Because my brother does." Cares about not being pummeled, at least. But Jazz is sure Danny hopes the best for his schoolmate, even with the attacks.

Valerie huffs. "Great, pity from the loser kids."

"Come on, it won't hurt to talk about it?"

"Talk about what? That some ghost kid and his dog ruined my life? That we're broke, and all my friends hate me for it? yeah, talking will fix everything."

Jazz sits down on a bench, and pats the seat next to her. Valerie looks away.

But then... she sighs. And sits. "I keep thinking about that five hundred dollar shirt I ruined. Maybe if e hadn't bought that, or I hadn't worn it to school, we'd be a little better off right now."

"It's not your fault."

Valerie grits her teeth. "Yeah. It's that ghost kid's."

"Ghost kid?"

"... You believe in ghosts, right? Because of your parents?"

Jazz nods. "Plus, that thing during the school game,, Kind of hard to deny."

"Heh. Yeah. ... That dog broke into the place my dad was working for. he was showing off what he did for their security, and none of it stopped the dog or the kid. And then they showed up again at the garage sale and wrecked our moving van, and the dog stole my lunch after all my friends rejected me!"

Valerie wipes her eyes, scowling. "It's not fair!"

Jazz hands her a tissue. "It's not, not at all."

"I wanna destroy that kid," Valerie growls. "Like he destroyed me."

"... Valerie... how old is he?"

"About my age, I think."

"And he's a ghost."

"Yeah. And?"

"So... how do you think a ghost kid comes to be?"

Valerie doesn't reply. But after a moment, her eyes widen a little. "Oh... no, no, but... but he's a kid. He can't be any older than me."

"Yeah," Jazz says softly. "So something horrible must have happened to him already."

Valerie looks at the device in her hands. "... But... he still ruined my life." She sounds a bit unsure now.

"Maybe he didn't mean to. I mean... imagine one day you wake up and everything is... different. Suddenly you've got no gravity, and-and no-one can see you sometimes and you're this weird thing-"

God, how scared was Danny when it happened? She's pretty sure by now that it was The Accident that did it, she can't think of anything else that explains it. What was it like for him, waking up as something different?

"It would be tough," Jazz finishes, looking at Valerie.

Valerie still won't meet her eyes, looking at the beeping device. "Then why is he following me around?"

"... Well... does he show up first, or the dog?"

Valerie thinks for a long moment. "... The dog. It's always the dog."

"So maybe he's trying to catch it."

"... I mean, I guess that could be it. But he's been fighting me!"

"And you've been fighting him."

"But-! ... Aw, geez..." Valerie deflates. "What do I do now, then? I can't... I can't keep attacking some kid who... we've barely lived, I can't just make it so that he's barely lived twice."

Jazz stands up and offers her hand. "How about we try talking to him?"

Valerie looks at her. "For real?" She's skeptical.

Jazz nods. "For real. Maybe we can clear some things up."

Valerie turns away again. And then, with a hefty sigh...

Takes Jazz's hand.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cujo?" Danny calls out. "Cujo! We need to get you back to the Ghost Zone, buddy! Come on, where is he?"

Someone clears their throat behind him, and he yelps as he shoots up in the air.

He turns around, and sees possibly the worst thing he could see right now.

His sister, and his hunter.

"Hello, Ghost Boy!" Jazz calls out.

"Um... hi." Danny waves, still looking startled.

Jazz nudges Valerie, and Valerie huffs. "Hi," she says shortly. Jazz smile at her, though.

"I'm here to mediate a talk between you two," Jazz says, walking closer (and somewhat pulling Valerie along behind her). "I figured there might be more to this story than we all three think."

"Um, you're not- I mean, I'm a ghost, you're just... casual about this?"

Jazz nods. "My parents are well-versed with ghosts, this is nothing."

A straight-up lie. Jazz hadn't even believed in ghosts until she peeled Spectra. But maybe it's to save face for Valerie? Or maybe Jazz recognizes him as the ghost from that day.

"Anyway," Jazz says, "Valerie here has something to say."

Valerie, arms cross and back hunched angrily, glares at Danny. "Who are you, and why are you out to get me?"

Danny floats back down to the ground, standing on it now. "I'm, um... Phantom-"

Valerie gives him a disbelieving look.

"Uh, Ghost Names are uh, different! It's this whole thing. And, I'm not out to get you, I swear. It's all been terrible coincidences."

Valerie scoffs.

"Val, we're here to listen," Jazz reminds gently. "Let him explain his side of things, and then you can explain yours, and we'll come to a solution. Trust me, I read a book about this."

Danny doesn't doubt it. "I don't own that dog, I found him wandering around outside. I thought he was cute at first, and then he turned into the big dog that keeps haunting you."

"And why's he doing that?" she snips.

"I don't know yet." Danny rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. "I'm trying to send him back to the Ghost Zone, but he keeps coming back out! I'm starting to think it's some cliche 'unfinished business' thing. But until I can figure it out I don't know how to get rid of him. All I can do is try to minimize the damage."

"Doing a great job." Valerie rolls her eyes. "Ruining my father's business, ruining our garage sale, ruining my lunch!"

"I swear, I was trying to help! He's really, really hard to get under control! He's like five times my size!"

"And you can't grow bigger and handle it that way?" Valerie retorts.

"No! I'm only a few months into this, I-"

He cuts himself off at the look on Valerie's face. "What?"

"A few months? ... So... so I could've known you?" Horrified, is the best word for her expression.

Danny shrinks, holding his bicep and hunching a little. "Um, nevermind. I just mean I'm not super powerful."

"No, no, we're going back. Did I know you? Is this a revenge thing?"

"What? No! I already told you, I'm trying to help prevent things from getting worse! And... no. I'm a loser kid, and you're popular."

"... Was," Valerie says quietly. "... All my friends ditched me when I lost my money."

"That's awful."

Valerie nods. "I don't know why I thought they liked me for more than money, looking back. But it still hurts. Being a lonely loser is the worst."

"Tell me about it," Danny mutters. "I mean, I have friends, but sometimes some stuff just makes you feel alone no matter what."

He thinks he sees Jazz tear up at that, but he's not sure. He's distracted by Valerie letting out a sob.

"I don't have anything left," she says, voice quavering. "I don't have the popularity, I don't have money, I don't have the grades..."

"... So you turned to revenge?" Jazz's voice is soft.

Valerie sobs again, and Jazz gives her some comforting slow pats on the back. She looks at Danny, nodding at Valerie.

Danny gets the hint. "You... you could, um, make something, more?"

Valerie gives a somewhat bitter teary chuckle. "What is that supposed to mean, huh? I'm already hunting ghosts. It's... something."

"... You could try to make new friends."

"Oh sure, that's easy. I'm a social pariah."

"So am I. But even just one or two friends helps a lot."

"You got a lot of ghost buddies?"

"... Humans, actually. An if I can make friends with some high school kids as a loser and a ghost, you can make friends too. You just might have to lower your social radar a bit."

Valerie rubs her arm. "... You're really not out to get me, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I want to protect people, not hurt them."

"... I'm sorry I shot those missiles at you."

"I'm sorry I couldn't keep the dog contained."

"... I'm sorry you're a ghost so young."

Danny snuffles a little. "... Thanks." Sometimes he is, too.

Valerie looks at her hand, and then holds it out to him. "Truce? I won't mess with you. I can't promise the same about that dog if it keeps showing up, but I won't mess with you."

Danny sighs. "So you're keeping the weapons."

"Oh, you know I am. Even if I'm not hunting you, now that I know about ghosts I want to be prepared."

"I guess I understand that." Danny shakes her hand. "Truce."

Jazz grins. "See? Just needed a real, meaningful talk!"

Valerie laughs a little, wiping her eyes again. "Yeah, I guess. But... now what? Who do I blame for this?"

"Probably the boss who decided that Ghosts Suddenly Existing was your father's fault," Danny says.

Valerie's eyes harden. "Yeah. Yeah, I can go with that."

"But," Danny and Jazz say at once. They look at each other, and Jazz let's Danny speak.

"But," Danny says again, "Maybe focus on making some more friends, first. One thing about us losers, is we don't ditch someone just for money reasons."

"... I'll give it a shot." Valerie smiles a little at Danny. "With better aim than the ones I took at you."

Danny chuckles a bit.

They both wave goodbye, Jazz and Valerie leaving Danny to continue his search.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi."

Danny, Sam, and Tucker all look up. Valerie is standing nervously with her brown paper bag of lunch. Tucker brightens up, and Sam gives a little, slightly suspicious, wave.

Danny scoots over. "Wanna sit with us?"

Valerie looks over at the A-Lister table. They're all staring, smirking, whispering.

Mocking.

She looks back at the 'losers'.

They're looking at her with... openness.

"Yeah. Sure."

She sits down, and gets out her lunch. For a minute, she just listens to them talk while she unpacks the sandwich.

"Hey, is that peanut butter and honey?" Sam asks. Valerie nods.

Sam holds up a thick roast beef sandwich. "My parents are trying to get me to eat meat again, but I'm staying vegetarian. Want to trade?"

Valerie blinks. "Uh... sure?"

They swap sandwiches. Valerie looks at the sandwich, mentally trying to figure out the carbs and calories and fat content-

She looks around the table. No-one else is analyzing their food. Or, judging hers.

She takes a bite. It's pretty good.

This... is pretty good.

She smiles, and laughs a little at a joke Danny makes.

Yeah. This is pretty good.

#danny phantom #Valerie Gray #Danny Fenton #Jazz Fenton #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

[leossmoonn]

Dear Y/n

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note  / request - “OMFG FINALLY SOMEONE WRITES FOR RECENT CARL GALLAGHER. Can we get one where the reader is Kev and V’s daughter so they grew up together. And maybe Carl is her secret admirer” so i made debbie and you seniors and carl a junior since he is technically a year younger than debbie. so let’s pretend that debbie stayed in school and carl never went to military school lol, just for the sake of this imagine. enjoy!

summary - you find a note in your locker from a secret admirer and try to figure it out who is your secret admirer

warnings - language

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Hey, girl!” Debbie exclaimed. You looked up from your phone, smiling as you spotted your friend. 

“Hey,” you smiled while walking up to her. Your attention when to Franny, who was sitting in her stroller. You crouched down and smiled at the baby. 

“Hi, baby. How are you? Do you like going to school with Mommy? You know, some day you’ll be going to school. I’ll be an adult and with kids, too!” You babbled to the baby. Franny squealed and held her hands up to you. You giggled, bopping her nose before going up back to talk to Debbie. 

“You’re really good with her,” Debbie complimented.  

“Thanks, kids kinda like me,” you giggled. 

Debbie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, we know. Anyways, can we hang at your house?” 

You two started walking to your guys’s lockers. “Sure. I have to babysit Jems and Ames, though. Mom and Dad don’t get off work until like, midnight.”

Debbie nodded. “Franny can play with them.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded. You unlocked your locker, a piece of paper falling out. 

“What’s that?” Debbie asked.

“I don't know,” you muttered, furrowing your brows. You picked up the paper, unfolding it. Your eyes widened as you saw its contents. It read:

Dear Y/n,

I thought your outfit looked really good. Not that your outfits don’t always look good, but today’s my favorite. I really like your jeans and your red shirt. Red really looks good with your eyes. 

From,

Secret Admirer

Debbie read the note with you, laughing as she got to the end. “You have a secret admirer!”

You smiled, “Yeah. This is cute. I wonder who it’s from.”

“Maybe it’s from Dean Kepner,” Debbie said, nudging your shoulder teasingly. 

You rolled your eyes, “That is the funniest shit I have ever heard.”

“Well, what if it is! I noticed him staring at your shirt today,” Debbie said.

You scoffed, “Yeah, more like staring at my tits. This note said nothing about my  tits. It’s probably not him. Plus, I’m pretty sure Dean can’t make compound sentences. He’s worse at speaking than Ames and Jems, and they’re 3 years old.

Debbie chuckled, “True. Well, we should try to figure it out.”

“Eh. It's probably some jackass who wants to get in my head, and then embarrass me because I thought someone liked me,” you said. 

“Be more optimistic!” Debbie exclaimed. 

“Hm, I will if I get a second note. Let’s go, Jems and Ames are expecting me to pick them up from daycare,” you said. You grabbed a few textbooks and shut your locker. “Is Carl coming home with us?” You asked. 

“I think so,” Debbie said. “Alright. Where is he?” You asked. 

“Probably making out with some slut in the bathrooms,” Debbie said.

“Probably,” you snorted.

You and Debbie walked to the nearest bathroom, peeking behind the corner to see if you could hear any noise. Surprisingly, it was quiet. 

“What are you guys doing?” 

You both jumped, turning around and seeing a confused Carl behind you. 

Carl was Debbie’s little brother. They were both Gallagher’s. They were children of the alcoholic and drug addict Frank and Monica. They lived on the South Side of Chicago, which was where you also lived. 

You were Y/n Ball. Daughter of Veronica Fisher and Kevin Ball. You had lived next to the Gallagher’s all your life. You were their best friend. Well, their only best friend, really. Your mom and their older sister, Fiona, had been friends since forever. You had been born around the same time as Debbie, who was the third oldest out of the 6 Gallagher children, so you two have been basically best friends since birth. Carl was also one of the Gallagher kids you were also the close with, too, him being just a year younger than you. You three had basically grown up together, so being best friends was pretty natural. 

“We were seeing if you were fucking anyone,” Debbie answered. 

Carl scrunched his face up in disgust. “I don’t do that.”

You laughed, “Sure you don’t. C’mon, C-Dog, I gotta pick up the little missies.”

“Alright, Y/n/n,” Carl smiled at the nickname you had given him ever since you two had gotten closer. 

You two hadn’t always been close before. Debbie and you were by far the closest, with being in the same grade and all. You and Carl hung out a lot, but it wasn’t really until he started high school when you two actually hung out one-on-one. He had come to you for relationship advice when he was dating this one girl, Dominique, who turned out to be a horrible person. You two have since bonded about your past, failed relationships, and how shitty life is. 

Since getting closer with him, you had kind of developed a little crush on him. He had always been cute, but when puberty hit him, he became really hot, really quick. You never showed any other feelings for him than platonic, though. You didn’t want to deal with all the drama that it would bring between you and your families. 

“Stop eye-fucking each other, please,” Debbie groaned, walking away from you two.

You rolled your eyes, “Like you should talk. Every guy you meet you imagine sleeping with them.”

“Not true!” Debbie defended herself. 

“Yeah, right. That’s why you have a baby,” Carl joked. 

“You guys are so mean,” Debbie muttered. 

“That one was pretty mean, but at least it didn’t come from me,” you smiled. 

“Yeah, it came from the asshole who got circumcised for a girl,” Debbie laughed. 

You laughed with her, Carl rolling his eyes and blushing. He looked to you and noticed a piece of paper peeking out from your jeans. 

“What's that?” He asked and pointed.

“Oh, it’s a note that someone gave me,” you said. You took it out and gave it to Carl. He opened it and read it. 

“This is nice,” he said. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty cute,” you agreed. He handed you the note back. “Who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’m kind of thinking it’s a joke, so I wanna wait till I get another one,” you said, folding it back into your pocket. 

“I think it’s Dean Kepner,” Debbie stated.  You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, you're the only one.”

“Is that the popular football guy? In your grade?” Carl asked. 

“Yep. He’s so hot,” Debbie sighed dreamily. 

“I don’t think so,” you stated.

Carl looked at you and nodded. “Yeah, I heard he does hard drugs.”

“Yeah, another reason why I don’t fuck with him. I mean, I have a beer every other night, but never am I gonna do drugs. That shit messes you up,” you sighed. 

“Yeah, we know. We had Monica as our mother,” Debbie said. 

You chuckled, walking over to your car. You got in the driver seat, Carl sitting in the passengers. Debbie usually sat there, but since she has a baby, you told her it wasn’t safe to put Franny in the passenger seat, especially since if the even of an accident, the airbag goes off and hurts Franny. 

You drove to daycare, humming songs from the radio while doing so. While you were driving, Carl couldn’t help but stare between your face and the note in your pocket. You didn’t know, but the person who wrote you the note was him. 

Carl was usually pretty confident and outgoing. All of his family like that. You had to do that to survive the South Side. But when it came to you, he was like jello. He didn’t know how to act, speak, whether he could look at you two seconds longer than normal. You never noticed his behaviour change, though. To you, he was always quiet and low-key. He was thankful that he never questioned why he was so quiet around you, especially since he was a loud, annoying kid when he was younger. 

With these notes, he would be able to say what he was afraid to say to your face. He didn’t want to face rejection, especially by the pretty senior girl that had lived next to him since the day he was born. It would be awkward if you did reject him, so he just kept quiet until maybe he worked up the courage to ask you out depending on wether you liked the notes or not. 

You parked in a handicap parking spot. “Alright, one of you wanna go and help me get Ames and Jems?” You asked. 

“Carl, can you do it, I wanna stay with Franny,” Debbie said.

“Yeah, sure,” Carl nodded. He got out of the car with you, walking into the daycare. 

You walked up to front desk. “Hi, I’m here for Amy and Jemma Ball. I'm their older sister, Y/n,” you said.

“Alright, can I see ID?” The woman asked. 

You nodded and got your wallet out of your back pocket. You handed her your ID. She handed it back to you. 

“Alright, go ahead and head in,” she said.

“Thank you,” you smiled. 

She hummed a ‘you’re welcome’ as you and Carl went into the play room. 

“Why do you have to give her your ID?” Carl asked. 

“I think it’s because she’s new, and also I didn’t drop them off this morning. They wanna make sure no one kidnaps children,” you explained. 

Carl nodded. “Ah, makes sense.”

“Yeah, the usual woman here, Julie, moved to Florida. She always gave me and the girls a mint when we left, and never asked for my ID,” you said.

“Wow, she sounds cool,” Carl said. 

“Yep, she was,” you smiled. 

You walked into the room, spotting Jemma and Amy immediately. They spotted you two, smiling and running up to you. 

“Hi, babes!” You exclaimed, crouching down and catching them in your arms. 

“Hi, Y/n!” They both squealed. 

“Ready to go home?” You asked. 

They both nodded. 

“Alright. Let me go get your stuff, hang out with Uncle Carl for a few minutes, okay?” You said. 

“Okay,” Jemma said.

You walked over to their cubby, grabbing their baby bags. You went back over to Carl, taking a hold of both of the girls’s hands. 

“Let’s go, babes,” you said. 

“I’m hungry!” Amy exclaimed. 

“I’ll get you a snack when we get home, alright?” You asked. 

Amy nodded, smiling excitedly. You smiled at her, looking up to see Carl opening the door for you. 

“Thanks,” you smiled at him. 

“No problem,” he nodded and followed behind you. You put the girls in the backseat with Debbie, unloading their bags in the trunk. You got in the front seat, starting the car. 

“Do you want to be dropped off at your house or stay with us at my place?” You asked Carl. 

“I'll hang with you guys,” Carl said. 

You nodded, “Sounds good.”

You drove back home, parking the car on the side. You unlocked the front door, immediately dropping all the bags you had. You slumped on the couch, taking a breather. 

“Can we have a snack?” Jemma asked. 

“Oh, yeah, right,” you said, getting up. “You guys want some fruit snacks?” “Yeah!” Amy exclaimed. 

You nodded, going to the pantry and getting two packs of fruit snacks for each of them. You led them back to the couch, turning on the tv. 

“Watch TV with Franny, okay? Sissy has to do homework,” you said. 

The twins nodded, looking at Paw Patrol, which was what was playing. You went to the kitchen table, unloading your backpack. 

“You’re really good at taking care of them,” Carl said, sitting next to you. 

You smiled, “Thanks. Mom and Dad do a lot, but since they are a little older and so am I, they let me have more responsibility. They have to work and stuff to make sure we can afford everything. I’d like to say I’m an expert at taking care of Amy and Jemma.”

Carl chuckled, “Yeah, I couldn’t imagine taking care of a kid.”

“Well, you have been taking care of Liam since he was born, right?” You asked. 

Carl shrugged, “I guess.”

“Taking care of kids is easy if you like them,” you shrugged. 

“Makes sense,” he said.

You hummed. 

“So, are you waiting for another note?” Carl asked. 

“Hm, kind of, yeah. I would be lying if I didn’t say I hoped this will turn into some cute, romantic love story with someone,” you chuckled. 

Carl blushed a little, focusing on his own homework. “Yeah, that’d be nice. 

————

“Yeah, Mom, I got it. No problem, see you later,” you said, hanging up the call. You sighed, walking slowly to your locker. 

Your mom had just called you to come to the Alibi to help out since business was buzzing. Word was, Frank was up to one of his schemes again and got the Alibi full and drunk. You couldn’t wait to deal with perky, 50 year-old men catcalling you. You were wearing a sweatshirt, too, which you knew would make it worse since the men always would try to have you take it off, and never stopped pushing. Luckily, you had pepper spray with you at all times so if someone ever got too much, you wouldn’t hesitate to spray them. 

You opened your locker, putting away a few binders when you noticed another note. You grabbed it, unfolding it with a hint of excitement. You would be lying if you said you hadn't been looking forward to this all day. 

You opened the note, smiling widely as its contents. 

Dear Y/n,

Your makeup looks amazing today. You’re really talented with the eyeliner and stuff. Oh, and your lipstick matches really well with your outfit, too.

From,  Secret Admirer

“Another note, huh?” Debbie said, approaching you. 

You smiled and nodded. “Yep.”

“What's that?” Carl asked. 

“Another note from Y/n’s admirer,” Debbie smiled. 

Carl flushed a little. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I hope this is for real. I want to meet this person.”

“Maybe you will,” Carl said. You looked to him, a worried expression settling on your face. 

“You okay, C-Dog?” You asked. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna catch the bus. See you guys later,” he said, walking off quickly. 

You furrowed your brows. “What's got his dick in a twist?”

“I have no idea. Maybe he likes you,” Debbie smirked. 

Your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him liking you. Debbie knew you liked Carl, so maybe she was fucking with you, but you had to ask to be sure. 

“Does he?” 

“I think,” Debbie said. 

“Oh,” you muttered. “Cool,” you smiled. 

You weren’t going to confront him just yet, but you prayed to God your secret admirer was Carl. 

————

“Hey, there’s something for you in the mail,” Veronica said. 

You furrowed your brows. “Who’s it from?”

“It doesn’t have a name,” Veronica said, hanging you an envelope. “It just has your name on it.”

“Huh,” you said, taking the envelope. You tore it open, your eyes widening as you saw another note it in. 

“What is it?” Kevin asked. 

“A note,” you said. “From my secret admirer.”

“You have a secret admirer! Wow,” Kevin said. 

“Yeah,” you chuckled. You sat on the couch, opening the note. 

Dear Y/n,

I thought you looked really pretty today. I hope you don’t find it weird I mailed this to your house, I actually live close to you, so I saw you crossing the street today. Anyways, I just thought I would let you know you look pretty. 

From, 

Secret Admirer

You found yourself giggling, setting the note down. Even though you were flattered, you found it a little weird this person knew where you lived, even if they supposedly lived near. You didn’t know why they couldn’t just tell you all these things in person. 

“What does it say?” Veronica asked.

“The note calls me pretty,” you said, putting it back in its envelope. 

“Hm, well, whoever this is isn’t wrong,” Veronica grinned. “Do you have any idea who it is?”

You sighed, “Nope. It says they live close to me, though.”

“Maybe it’s one of the Gallagher’s,” Kevin suggested. 

Your eyes went wide, remembering what Debbie had said to a few days ago when you got the second note. You shook your head, though. Carl was out with his friends right now, you had just left his house, too, and there was no sign of him. 

“Nah, no offence to them, none of them are this romantic or anything. Well, except Ian, but he’s gay,” you said. 

“Maybe ask about it, though? All of our other neighbours are old men, and that does not look like old man handwriting,” Veronica said. 

“Maybe I will. I mean, Debbie said Carl liked me, and when I got the second note, Carl was acting all weird and shit,” you said.

Veronica eyes widened. “Carl?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I don’t care if it's him, though, it'd be kind of weird.”

Veronica sat down on the couch next to you. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Kind of,” you said sheepishly. 

“Well, I think you should ask him about it. If he says no, then don’t mention your feelings for him. If he says yes the notes are from him, then confess,” Veronica said.

“Should I do that?” You asked. 

“I think so, baby. Carl’s a good kid, especially with you around. I wouldn’t have a problem with you two dating.”

You smiled, “Thanks, Mom. I’ll go to his place tomorrow.”

“My baby is about to get a boyfriend!” Kevin whooped. “If he hurts you, I will kill him.”

You chuckled, “Thanks, Dad.”

————

You walked into the Gallagher’s house, spotting Fiona in the kitchen.

“Hey, Fi,” you smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n! Are you here fo Debbie? She went out,” Fiona said.

“No, actually. I’m here for Carl,” you said.

“Oh, okay. Well, he’s upstairs,” Fiona said.

“Thanks, Fi,” you smiled and made your way up to Carl’s room. You saw that the door was wide open.

You went in, not seeing Carl anywhere.

Where is he? You thought.

You went around his room, walking around the room. His room was ridiculously messy. Clothes everywhere, food and plates all over the dresser, weird liquid on the floor. You chuckled to yourself as you had to step over the puddle. 

“Boys are horrific,” you muttered to yourself. 

You went to the desk, sitting down in the desk chair. You looked around on the desk, seeing court date papers, old homework, and cigarette boxes. As you looked more to your right, something had caught your eye. There was a paper with your name on it on the back. 

You picked it up hesitantly, slowly unfolding it. Your eyes widened as you saw the words “Dear Y/n”. You knew you shouldn't, but you went ahead and read it anyways. You just wanted to make sure you were correct of your suspicions. 

Dear Y/n,

After these few weeks, I have decided to try and be brave and go up to ask you out. I think you’re really pretty and you’re so funny and nice. I’ve liked you since I started high school, and even if I get rejected, I know I would regret not trying to ask you out. So, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date?

From, 

Secret Admirer, aka Carl (Gallagher)

“Y/n?” You snapped your head back, seeing Carl in a towel. Your eyes quickly ran past his chest, seeing the toned muscles in his arms and stomach. You eyes went up to his face, lingering on his lips. You then went up to his eyes, seeing them wide and filled with wonder. 

“Sorry, I’ll, uh, go,” you muttered and stood up, leaving the note on the desk. 

“What?” Carl asked. He was beyond confused, but when he saw you and the note, he put the pieces together. As you went to walk out of his room, he grabbed your arm, pulling you back gently so you two were face-to-face.  

“Did read the note?” He asked.

You looked up at him sheepishly, “Yeah, I’m sorry for invading your privacy.”

Carl sighed, “It’s alright. I’m, uh, sorry if I wasn't who you were expecting or anything. I know I’m probably not the person you like or anything, but I just wanted to try and see if you liked me. Ian and Lip said that was a cute idea, the notes.”

Your eyes lit up with he voiced his concerns. Your lips upturned into a smile, your eyes staring into his. 

“Carl, I like you, too,” you said. 

Carl’s eyes widened. “Wha-what?”

You took his hands in yours. “It was a cute idea. And I’ve liked you for the last 3 years, too. I was hoping it was you, actually.”

Carl blushed, a big smile appearing on his face. “Really?” “Yep,” you nodded. 

“Awesome!” Carl chuckled. “So, do you want to go on a date with me?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” you smiled. 

“Cool,” he smiled. “Well, I need to get dressed. You can stay and watch if you want,” he smirked. 

You giggled at his words. “Don’t mind if I do.”

————

this was trash i am sorry

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@kaitieskidmore1​

#carl gallagher x reader #carl gallagher imagine #carl gallagher x reader smut #carl gallagher #shameless

[capt-spooki3]

Hey hi hello, how are you doing, i miss you and am .5 seconds away from spamming all your work with likes and reblogs 💕☺️

So I've been thinking (uh oh).... Being close with Tommy and tubbo and telling them ur terrified to meet techno cause mans is so scary to you, and they tell him you're scared cause they're little shits. A d cut to like a few days later where you have to talk to him for smthn and he's making fun of youand teasing you relentlessly cause he knows you were visibly nervous to meet him, but he's being really nice besides the teasing. Thoughts? Interpretations?

You don't even have to respond, just know that I love you and your stuff and hope you have the best day because you deserve nothing less◖⚆ᴥ⚆◗

( ˘ ³˘)♥

am i positive if you're asking me for a fic? No, not entirely.

Am i going to write you one anyway because you're so sweet? Yes absolutely and now presenting:

My Unexpected Tutor

Platonic college au!Technoblade and Y/n

(plus besties with the rest of the sbi ofc 😌)

(Hope this is okay, i just took my own interpretation of it and changed it just a little👌)

Warnings: cursing, teasing, nervousness(idk)

3.3k works

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

With the final bell ringing and college classes ending for the day, you snatched up your bag and book you’ve read off and on that week before heading over to the courtyard that was near the on-campus dorms. Stopping by a vending machine first to grab a drink then seating yourself on a bench and getting comfortable while you wait for your company to arrive.

“Yeah! And that’s- HA! That’s when Wilbur just… oh!-” The nearing sound of Tommy’s voice cut off along with the softer laughing from Tubbo. You were very obviously engrossed in your book, but now you just feigned reading as you listen closely to the sound of slow footsteps nearing behind your bench. The two of them were horrible about being sneaky since you could easily hear hushed laughs as they desperately tried keeping each other quiet.

Right as you heard them stop moving, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself before turning around suddenly and lunging at them over the back of the bench with a half effort grab at Tommy’s extended hand, and yelling. Tommy screamed back, stumbling back a  few paces and Tubbo just stumbled before backing up to the bench and busted out laughing.

“Ey what the hell!” He scoffed despite not being able to hold back his growing smile, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I’ll remember that bitch, I’m gonna get you back.” he walked over to you and sat on the other side of the bench, giving you a hard glare when you laughed a little bit though it was mostly from Tubbo’s hysterical laughter. He took a deep breath and calmed himself so he could jump over the back of the bench and sit between you and Tommy.

The two boys were your underclassmen, being freshmen while you were a sophomore. The three of you met in your coding class. You were there mostly to get your English degree and major in said area, but you figured while you had the opportunity you would take classes on things you didn’t know much about. There, you met Wilbur, a senior and Tommy’s oldest brother, and he helped you quite a bit with understanding bits of coding that were a bit too confusing for you at first and were quickly becoming friends with him. That was until Tommy entered the picture. First, you just saw him as Wilbur’s chaotic younger brother who just happened to be in the coding class as well but after some insisting that you get to know him from Wilbur, you hung out one weekend in the library. One weekend turned to two then almost every weekend once he introduced you to Tubbo as well and you all had become a true trio.

You got to know Tommy’s family pretty well. His single father, Phil, who was just like a second parent to you now, and Wilbur who acted just like the older brother you never had. You knew them well despite having known them all for less than a year. The only hang-up is when it came to Tommy’s other brother. You knew he had an actual name, but only knew him by his nickname since that’s what everyone referred to him by. That would be Technoblade. The two of you had a couple of literature classes together and the fact that he was only one grade above you, you’d figure that you could befriend him with ease. Now, it’s not like he was big and scary, he was more tall and lanky but he was smart and he had some vibe around him that just petrified you. You couldn’t ever build up the courage to be around him which made it quite an issue since you were best friends with his brother, though this wasn’t an issue you had ever brought up to any of them.

“So how did classes go for you guys today?” You asked as you pulled one of your legs up onto the bench and closed your book which you held close to your chest.

“Fucking shitty! I got a fuck ton of extra work, like I know it’s college and the weekend but let me live.”

“We got one essay to write, it’s two pages long.” Tubbo reiterated with a smile while Tommy grumbled and leaned his head back so he was looking up at the sky. “What about you Y/n?”

“It wasn’t bad, I don’t have any extra work other than a bit of coding to do. Oh speaking of, Tommy?” You reached your foot over and kicked his leg to get his attention, only continuing when he was looking at you. “Is Will gonna be free at all? ‘Cause I need some help with this stuff.”

Tommy perked up a bit, sitting up to get his phone out. “Oh you're right, I actually need help with it too.” He mumbled while texting and staring at the screen as he waited for a reply. “Uhh okay so he says… I’m visiting some friends so I won’t have time… blah blah uh but ask Techno, I heard he’s pretty good at coding. Nice! That’s perfect, you can just come over to my house and-”

“Ah, you know what- I actually think I’m okay.” You quickly interrupted him, pulling your laptop out of your bag to aimlessly scroll through the assignment you were given. “It can’t even be that hard I’m sure… I can figure it out.” You said with as much confidence as you could muster despite knowing full well you’ll be completely lost as soon as you try to start on the work.

“Come on, we both know that’s a lie, you're so shit at this stuff.” He said light-heartedly and watched you ‘work’. “Seriously, just come over. I’m sure Techno is good at this stuff, if anything we can pay him to do the work.”

“It’s fine- really. I think I’ll just wait for Monday, I can ask Wilbur for help then.” You closed your laptop, keeping your gaze on it for a moment before looking over at Tubbo and Tommy who were giving you both a puzzled look. “What?”

“You don’t…” Tubbo started to speak but Tommy pushed him back with an arm on the chest so he could lean over to look at you closer.

“You don’t have a crush on Techno, do you?” He said and squinted at them as if disgusted by the thought.

“What!? No!” You sat up taller and looked at him, baffled that he resorted to that.

“Well, then what the hell is the problem! Just come over and he can teach us!” 

“I just… he’s kinda…” You grew flustered and found a loss for good words as you realized you were going to admit this. “He’s scary.”

Tommy busted out laughing and wheezed hard, doubling over as he coughed and laughed some more, stumbling over words as he tried to talk but was laughing too hard. Even tubbo who was trying to hold back, joined Tommy which only made them bounce off each other in their hysterics.

“Wha- I’m serious! Do you two not think he’s intimidating!?” You looked at both of them desperately as you could feel the heat that had risen to your cheeks.

“He’s literally-” Tubbo’s laughter interrupted him. “He’s a nerd! How the hell is he scary?” He settled down a bit and nudged Tommy to get him to calm down too, luckily he got his fit of laughter out.

“Oh my god, no I’ve got to go home now.” He grabbed his backpack that had been discarded behind the bench and looked at you once more before laughing more. “Scared of Techno- oh my god. That's good, that’s a good one. Bye bitches!” He saluted both of you before running off.

“Tommy I swear to god if you tell anyone I will deck your shit!!” You stood up, holding your laptop in hand, to yell at him but just stood there defeated once he turned a corner around a building. Tubbo got up beside you, laughing as he put his hands in his hoodie pocket.

“I wish I could give him the benefit of the doubt… but he’s gonna tell Techno. And Wilbur. And Phil for sure.” 

“Yeah... I’m sure he will. I’m going to my dorm, I’ve got to call my mom.”

“Aww-” You put your hand over his mouth, but took it away as soon as he shut up so he wouldn’t lick your palm.

“Shut- I don’t wanna hear shit from you too. Anyway, get home soon and don’t get kidnapped.” You turned away to put your laptop and book into your backpack and zipped it up before pulling it over one shoulder. You looked back at Tubbo and put your fist up to him.

“I’ll kick them in the balls, don’t worry.” He laughed a little and bumped his fist to yours and walked backward a few paces, waving at you. “Tell your mom I said hi!”

You waved back at him and stood to wait and watch him walk off along the stone path until he was fully out of sight to make your way to your dorm, which was right in the courtyard area.

-

Monday came around and with the school day partially over, you made your way to your coding class. You of course didn't end up doing the assigned homework even though you gave it a good try and just decided to rely on Wilbur's help.

You walked into class and took in a deep breath, it was always cool and smelt of coffee since the teacher brewed a cup before your class every day. Making your way over to your usual computer you looked over to see Tommy sitting in your spot beside Wilbur and chatting to him. You guessed he heard you coming or saw Wilbur look your way because he looked back and grinned wide which never meant good.

"Ey look at who it is! Wonderful seeing you again, how was your weekend?"

"Fine." You said, looking down at him and kicking his foot. "I don't like how you're acting, what the hell did you do?"

He just feigned innocence and looked offended that you could assume such a thing. "Me? Me!?" He leaned forward, hand gracefully on his chest. "I cannot believe you right now, I'm hurt Y/n! Truly hurt."

You scoffed with an eye roll and sat on the other side of Wilbur since the seat was free. As soon as you set your bag down and went to turn toward the two, Wilbur was already facing you and leaning on the desk area for the keyboard in a way that looked like he needed to say something in secret.

"You good?"

He just waved you down and you leaned forward to listen. "You're not… actually afraid of Technoblade are you?"

"Tommy you little shit!" You jumped up, nearly hitting Wilbur but he moved back in time. Tommy laughed and fled to the other side of the room where he normally sat so you just grumbled and took your seat.

"Well?"

"Is no one else? He's intimidating, I feel like he'd call me out on all my insecurities if I inconvenienced him. And THEN he would hold me at knifepoint till I left him alone."

Wilbur snorted and hung his head as he softly laughed, you reached over and hit his arm before leaning closer to whisper. “I’m serious Wilbur! He scares me!”

He looked back up at you with the most amused look. “Come on, you can’t be friends with this family without knowing techno. Honestly. Talk to him today. You two have the same literature class at the end of the day right?” He asked as he sat up and leaned back into his chair to turn his computer on and log into the coding website.

“I mean yeah but- what does that have to do with anything.” You asked, but Wilbur didn’t reply as he just stared at his screen so you leaned forward to get into his peripheral vision. “Will, what does that have to do with anything? I’m not talking to him, I hope you know that.”

-

You were wrong. Nearing the end of your literature class, you sat there listening to the teacher while completely lost on the assignment. Usually, it wouldn’t be too much of an issue because you would just give it the best attempt you could and see where you messed up at the end to better understand the work. It wasn’t the best tactic but you liked it better than having to ask for help. But now, this was a big and grade-determining assignment, not one you could afford to flunk.

The class was given five minutes to start on or look over the work at the end of the class. You leaned back in your chair, staring at your paper at a loss, and listened to the sound of people moving around the class near you. You didn’t try to look up since you assumed it was friends going to sit together and gossip. That was until you noticed someone took the seat beside you and shuffled a bit closer. Pulling the paper away from your face to look, you froze instantly upon locking eyes with Technoblade who was smiling lightly. You had never seen him this close, the most notable thing was his dyed light pink hair that had grown out brown roots and you could even see in his smile how his top and bottom canine teeth were a bit longer than normal and looked like he had small fangs and tusks.

He pushed his glasses up before crossing his arms and leaning forward on his desk. “Hey so I know you’re terrified of me, but it looks like you’re having a bit of an issue.” You opened your mouth to speak but were just met with a loss for words and just averted your eyes, continually glancing back at him for a moment as you were unsure what to do. He snorted lightly, bringing his hand up to stifle his laugh, and cleared his throat. “Yeah sorry for bein’ so big and scary but I can help ya. Come one, show me what you are confused with Y/n.”

“You- you know my name?” You looked right at him finally to which he raised an eyebrow at you quizzically.

“Well yeah. Did you really expect me not to? You’re besties with both of my brothers and my dad loves having you over. I was just waiting for you to say hi to me.” He leaned back, fidgeting with a ring with his hands. “Didn’t think you’d actually be scared of me, thank Tommy for snitching. He talked about it all weekend.”

You groaned, leaning forward to run your hands over your face and sigh, swearing that you’d smack him once school was out.

“Oh shi-” You looked at Techno and he was checking the time on his phone. “Hey, class is about to end. You’re not gonna be busy are you?”

“Uh… not, no I’m not.”

“Great.” He got up, moving the desk back to its original place and trotting over to grab his bag, and looking back to you. “Get your stuff and meet me at the south entrance, we can work on it back at my house.��� And without giving you a chance to try to object, he called to the teacher saying that he was going to leave a minute early to get his stuff together since he rented a locker a bit away from the classroom and the teacher waved him off.

Reluctantly, you went back to your dorm which was close to where you had class. You dropped off unneeded books and grabbed a granola bar from a box you kept in your room then headed toward the entrance Techno told you to meet him at. And of course, walking up the sidewalk to the doors you saw him there sitting on a bench with his bag beside him. He saw you and jumped up, waving you over to him as he started walking immediately. While you were still behind him, you sent a picture to Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur of him walking in front of you and adding the caption ‘i did it :P’. 

The two of you chatted while you walked through the neighborhood and despite light teasing on how scary he was, he was easy to talk to and you had a lot in common with him. It was a shame you hadn’t taken the initiative to talk to him before. In no time, you were walking through the door after him into the familiar home where Phil greeted you with a surprised but happy look and offered snacks which Techno graciously took before heading to his room.

To your surprise, Technoblade is the best tutor you have ever had. He is attentive and incredibly patient when trying to figure out where you are having struggles and he’s smart. Like he knows every single bit of what is supposed to be brand new information from the class. Not even two hours into him helping you, you understood the assignment completely and you both spent the next three hours sitting on his bed and working together. You joked with him and he held the same energy while keeping the focus on working and even swapped laptops with him to check it over for each other.

You broke your gaze from the endless lines of text on your laptop screen to look at the window and seeing the orange sky around trees and over top of houses that indicated the setting sun. “Oh my gosh!” You scrambled off the bed, carefully stuffing papers back into your bag. “I didn’t even realize what time it was- Technoblade thank you a million for helping me. I appreciate it so much, but I need to get back to my dorm! I promised my roommate I’d help her cook dinner tonight.” You grabbed your laptop off of the bed and put it into your bag, closing it all up quickly.

Slinging it over your shoulder and adjusting it, you turned to make your way out of the room but you were stopped by a tug and looked back to see Techno holding onto your bag and looking displeased. “Not yet.”

“Wha- I need to go though-”

“It’s a tradition in this house to hug anyone before they leave, you should know that from my dad.” He let go and opened his arms up to you.

You turned to him and tilted your head a little. “You’re joking…”

He just smiled smugly and waited. You glanced at the doorway but gave in and closed the bit of distance, hugging him to which he returned snugly and spoke softly to you. “You’re a good person. I’m glad to have gotten to know you and I hope you’ll come back. I promise I’m not all that bad.” With that, he slowly let go and patted your arm before gently shoving you toward the doorway and plopping down on his bed. “Have a good night!”

“Uh.. yeah, you too!” You said back, still surprised by the exchange. His words swam through your mind as you went to leave the house, hugging Phil on your way out and wishing him a good night as well. Finally checking your phone on the walk home, you found a supportive and proud text from Wilbur, a dirty joke from Tommy, and something in between from Tubbo.

You laughed to yourself, amused by the differences in the messages. It was times like these that you most found appreciation for the three. Mentally you had to correct yourself though. The whole family was good. This you can say for sure now.

#dsmpblr #dsmp fanfic #dream smp #dream smp fanfiction #technoblade #techno fanfic #techno fanfiction #request #ask response #platonic relationships #platonic #techno x reader #techno x you #techno x y/n #techno au #dsmp au #sbi au #college au #sbi family dynamic #sbi family au

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au doyoung late birthday post for mr. kim! i am never on time for these posts, apologies.  find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei

a sinking feeling has you rooted to the floor. staring at the lock of your front door as someone knocks politely over and over again.

“what are you doing?”

your mother’s voice gusts past you like a breeze, she leans over your frozen figure and turns the knob.

you step back to avoid being hit by the door and dread the light that washes over your mothers face

“doyoung! come in!”

he steps through and all you catch is a bit of side profile, hidden behind the gigantic plant he’s holding

“oh! that’s the orchid your mother was just up in a fit about? come here sweetie, place it on the kitchen table -”

his footsteps echo and you shrink a little, he didn’t even look at me. 

you’re thankful for your mothers insolent obsession with being a good host and trudge your way back to your room

doyoung is in your house. 

which is weird, the first time he was in your house - you knew, obviously, but he was uninvited. your mother didn’t welcome him through the door.

now - for the past month - after both his mother and yours had come to a unbreakable bond over their indoor houseplants 

doyoung has very much been a presence, an invited presence, a presence everyone but you seemed to be delighted about

“he’s such a nice boy, he’s spending his summers tutoring younger kids and i see him biking all around town.”

your mother gushes almost every time at dinner after doyoung leaves - delivering whatever ailing plant his mother has sent to yours to fix and play botanist with

you pick at your food

yeah, he’s a nice boy. that’s what makes this all so much worse.

now - you’re laying on your sheets with your hand on your stomach and staring up at the wall thinking very much the same thought.

he’s so nice, and so perfect, and everything anyone ever dreams of. why am i such an idiot for not wanting that?

you drum your fingers and again spiral back into the memory that keeps itself wedged between you and him like a piece of food that’s stuck so sternly between teeth, no pushing at it with your tongue helps.

summer starts in ten days, officially you know - by the university calendar. you’re supposed to be focusing on a final paper for some elective politics class you took, but you’re not. you’re staring at the back of doyoung’s neck. he sits in front of you for most lectures.

“hey, do you know anything about this military-first politics and nuclear armament essay prompt the professor gave us?”

doyoung turns slowly, blinking at you from behind his thin-wired classes, “yeah - it’s been the topic of discussion and reading for like a week.”

you know you sound kind of stupid to even ask - but you will admit, politics isn’t your thing and it seems to really be doyoungs - so you smile, with a please pity me kind of look in your eye. doyoung sighs, but he gets up and slides into the seat beside you - opening up the half blank word document on your laptop.

that’s it. that’s all it was going to be. doyoung helping you skid by, so that your summer isn’t ruined by a shitty grade. 

but that’s not what happens. at all. 

doyoung instead spends a lot of time helping you write a good enough paper to pull through a B-. 

that means a lot of alone time in the library, in study hall, in the empty halls of the school buildings where classes have ended and no one is around.

it’s a lot of being shoulder to shoulder with him, realizing how nice he always smells - how long his fingers are when they type - how he doesn’t have a significant other because no one except his friends ever end up interrupting you.

it’s the day after you get your grades for the semester, something about getting the paper back sparks a fire in you

you scope doyoung out at the coffeeshop and exclaim that you and him did it!

a couple of heads whip around, did it?, you quickly add some mumbling about the paper.

doyoung laughs, it’s the first time you’ve heard the genuine sound, because most of the time he just makes a half-sided smirk or chuckle.

you buy him an iced latte as repayment and somehow end up walking out of there with side by side.

doyoung asks if you live near by if you don’t dorm, you say you do. he does too. that’s weird - you’ve never seen him around the neighborhood.

after that you pretend it’s a blur. because truth be told it isn’t.

you and doyoung are going to be taking the same train anyway, why not take it together. you and doyoung are going to know the same little places around town, why not talk about them.

why not? why not? why not? 

why not invite him inside when you’re back in your hometown, why not lead him up to your room just so he can see it and why not kiss him when he leans over you.

people your age do it all the time, they hookup. that’s the only answer to that stupid hanging ‘why not?’

so when you felt doyoung’s fingers graze down your side and he’d clumsily gotten his glasses off just in time for you to pull his shirt up over his head 

you were convinced it meant nothing. you were convinced he thought the same.

then it all happens and you can’t take it back. 

especially not the part where you’re laying on your bed, just like you are now, waiting for doyoung to start gathering his things and instead a hand loops around your sweaty waist.

“aren’t you going to leave?”

the words blurt out of your mouth before you even think about it. 

the tension that stalled in the room had been so horrible you swore you’d felt it seep into every pore, damn near trickling itself down the walls.

doyoung had darkened, pulled himself away from you, and disappeared before you could string together your next thought.

part of you had been relieved, the other part felt like the biggest asshole on the planet.

you were just grateful the rest of the summer could easily be passed by keeping away from each other - until your mother had found her new best friend.

downstairs you can hear doyoung shuffling around with your mothers plants, you can’t make out what they’re saying, but you’re sure your mother is inviting him to stay and eat with you. asking doyoung about his amazing future plans to become a lawyer. enthralled by everything he is as a child and that you, most likely, are not.

when he finally leaves and the commotions die down you can’t get up

this is the most confusing moment. 

not the whole ignoring each other when he pops over, not the whole reliving the past from just a glimpse. 

it’s why - when it happened, you had been so content with it just staying nothing - you had been the one to make that decision for the both of you

yet

why does it seem like you’re wallowing in it, clinging to it, imaging it all over

every time he comes over

because you didn’t just want a hook-up. you wanted doyoung and were playing it off because having a crush on him isn’t worth it right?

your mind coils itself through a storm

you thought he only wanted to sleep with you too, because the thought of someone as good as doyoung liking you just doesn’t make sense?

despite the summer heat, you feel cold

you’re not good enough to actually be liked, to be the person doyoung chooses for something more than just your-

your phone rings and you sit up so fast it gives you a headache, you feel around and bring it to your ear without checking the number

“hello?”

“our mothers are trying to set us up on a date.”

you want to be anywhere in the world, but here. 

doyoung’s blank expression doesn’t let you know if he feels the same, but the way he won’t get in at least eight feet of you is telling enough.

you’re in his backyard, well technically you’re in his neighbors backyard, because he doesn’t want to be visible behind the hedges

rather be caught dead than be next to me, right? 

you shrill at yourself and try to bury the wince you make internally

“i think you should just tell them you have another boyfriend.”

“i can’t lie to my mother.”

you start and doyoung watches you chew on your lower lip and retreat defensively a step back

“why not?”

“she’s noisy - she’ll find out. she’ll insist until i die to meet this ‘other boyfriend’. plus i’m not a good liar.”

“really? could have fooled me.”

doyoung straightens himself as he says that, eyes unblinking behind the frames of his glasses

i probably deserve that. well actually-

“doyoung, i never promised you anything when we-”

the words wilt and doyoung suddenly looks over his shoulder.

“you’re right, you never promised me anything. im the one who was a fool for ever thinking it was something.”

you look at the grass. 

you wonder, if you had not said that one sentence - aren’t you going to leave - would this summer be different?

would you and doyoung be spending every second together, holding each other at the beach? kissing under the fireworks? sharing ice-cream and diving into pools filled of water and your laughter?

the thought blooms something in your chest

i wish - i wish it was that.

“you say i should lie, but you’re pretty good at it too doyoung.”

“excuse me?”

“it’s not like you - it’s not like you really wanted it to be anything more than it was.”

you think the grass is going to burst into flames with how hard you’re concentrating on it.

“what, you’re telling me-” you swallow “you’re telling me you actually wanted to be with me after? our mothers are trying to get us to go on a date and you called me out here just to avoid that.”

he leans forward

“if you are trying to make me the only guilty party here-”

he’s closer and you feel your voice shake a little, but you try to push to the end of your thought.

“im not, you never made any effort to make it seem like you had any genuine emotion so am i so wrong for just assuming it was just se-”

his hands, large and gentle, manage to find your shoulders and doyoung presses his lips to yours 

you stiffen from the external shock, but then relax under the light grip

his breath smells sweet, like he’s been chewing bubblegum, he’s wearing the same cologne he does at university

“i don’t just sleep with people.” 

he whispers against your mouth

“nothing against it, but i don’t think there’s a point to sharing something intimate with someone who i don’t want in every possible way.”

when you and doyoung agree to go on a date - both your mothers lose it. they’re convinced you’re soulmates.

although you and doyoung both agree they’re thinking way too far ahead in the future - it doesn’t mask the fact that the attraction that ends up forming between you two is undeniable

doyoung is so determined and intently goal orientated that you would think there isn’t the capacity to have fun in one bone in his body, but that’s not true

when he’s comfortable, he’s charming and full of humor - he makes you double over with laughter more than you could have imagined

and you aren’t as spacey and shy as doyoung might have assumed either, you have a competitive streak and you make doyoung feel like this is the summer of his life

the summer of his life that someone could probably make a decent coming of age film out of

he brings it up after you two exit a movie that was just about the same topic and you look down at your hands intertwined and shake your head

“no they’d never cast the right people to play us.”

doyoung sees the reflection of the milky way in your eyes, but he doesn’t say it

“no one on this planet is like you.”

he returns this sentiment with a small kiss that bumps this glasses against the bridge of your nose.

you get nervous sometimes when you think about how the summer started, it’s not like you’re living in the middle ages where intimacy is a sin before eternal commitment or anything

no you just get nervous because the reason you ever even made that situation as bad as it was, was because of your insecurity

does doyoung actually like me? did two weeks of being together at school make him realize something about me is worth it?

you can’t ask him that - even though sometimes you want to, so you can explain why you hadn’t just rolled over and nuzzled yourself into the dip of his chest

much like you do now - you fit so perfectly right between his arms

instead it sometimes gnaws at you until doyoung is cleaning his glasses over your sink and you’re sitting in the bathtub looking at him

your parents are ironically over at doyoungs for some wine party or whatever and although your mothers are in awe about you two being “a cute lil couple” 

they see that - cute, part of it makes you snort. you and doyoung sometimes act more mature than they do.

“i always knew you were staring at me in lecture.” he starts and a little smirk pulls at his long lips

you flick some of the water at him and he leans against the counter

he doesn’t like baths, he prefers showers, but he still stays in the room with you when you take them 

“i wasn’t staring at you.”

“you were staring at the back of my neck.”

you look away because fair, not like he spends a lot of time looking away from the professor.

“so i knew you liked me, or something about me. that’s why it hurt.”

“when we-”

“yes and i like being logical, so not having a real answer for why that all happened like it did still haunts me.”

he tilts his head and you see the line of his thin collarbones through his shirt

“i thought you’d say it first.”

he blinks

“i thought you’d say something like, that was cool. ill see you at uni come fall. and then leave. so i mean, i didn’t even say go leave - i asked, aren’t you going to leave?”

doyoung is smart so he gets what you’re saying in the most roundabout way possible

he walks over and squats down, leans over the ridge of the bath to kiss you and doesn’t complain when you bring your soapy hands up to cradle his neck

“im sorry i did leave, i should have just said what i felt right there.” 

he mutters and you nod. you should have said it too.

when you and doyoung graduate and he goes on to law school and you start working, you almost break up - twice - because of the stress

but somehow neither of you can ever ask the other one

aren’t you going to leave?

because neither of you ever really wants to.

so you don’t, you stay through all the hardships, through every argument and bump in the road. 

you stay, you choose to stay and so does he and you might not even fall asleep next to each other on some days but the heat of the person you love is always there.

and then doyoung gets his first big promotion at his job, runs all the way home with the news and ends up breathing hard and talking nonsense to you in your shared kitchen

“you need a shower.”

you say, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he shakes his head, no. he needs a bath.

you lean back against his chest, stronger and broader as he’s aged. 

he looks down at you and even the eyebags that have gotten darker with all that work he does don’t do anything to make him less attractive

you peck his chin, because it’s what you can reach.

“if we sit here any longer we’re going to prune.”

“are you going to be the first one to leave?”

he asks and you shake your head. 

you’ll sit here forever if that’s what it takes.

on the counter of the bathroom, there’s one of the houseplants your mothers keeps shipping to you. 

you don’t notice that it’s the same orchid that doyoung carried into your house all those years ago, when you thought he hadn’t even looked at you when your mother opened the door.

he curls a strand of your wet hair around his finger.

he had looked at you, quickly, but he had done it. 

even half covered by orchid leaves, you’d made his mouth dry. 

“no seriously though - we will prune.”

“i’ll get up if you get up?”

i’ll never leave, the only way i’ll leave is if it means im taking you with me. 

#im late..........dont look at me #happy late bday king #doyoung au #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #nct au #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct #doyoung #nct 127 #nct u #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 au #nct 127 scenarios #member: doyoung #kim doyoung au #nostolgic au #suggestive/

[lizbotw]

it’s only sharing a disgustingly sweet milkshake at the local college town diner after both of your evening classes that suna graciously provides the answers to the math homework.

the spongy pencil eraser is easy for you to sink your teeth into as you puzzle over his handwriting. “you know,” you mumble around the nib, trying to figure out if that’s a 5 or a 6, “i never know why you do this to me every week.” this time the drink with two plastic straws floating in an unhealthy heaping of whip cream is a syrupy strawberry flavor.

rintarou tips forward to sip at one of them and in your peripheral, chunky pink-coated fruit pieces travel up the clear tube and disappear between his lips. he releases the straw with an annoying ah that makes you frown, even if you weren’t concentrating in the first place. “aw, don’t tell me you don’t like hanging out with me.” he feigns hurt.

a well placed sip of your own allows you to avoid having to answer that—you have a personal rule of never being sappy in the presence of calculus. if you didn’t like him, suna knows you wouldn’t be hanging out with him—there are just some things you can’t do, even if it’s for the sake of your grade. none of this has to be said out loud of course, but he decides to be annoying and ask anyway.

actually—well... maybe hanging out is... not exactly how this appears to bystanders.

sharing a drink like this, you two probably look more like a couple on a (terribly cheap) afternoon date, rather than two broke college students that split meals to save money and believe that sharing answers for homework isn’t cheating, it’s collaboration.

ha, as if it would ever be different—things like the former never come true. maybe in movies, but that’s about where the line is drawn.

as if he knows what you’re thinking, suna raises an eyebrow at you over the glass, a smile playing on his lips—the same stupid look he always gives you. it feels particularly worse this evening.

it’s hard to avoid eye contact with him mere inches away, but you manage when a car painted a very interesting shade of red rumbles past the fingerprint covered window. you’re grateful for the distraction.

the subject changes when you realize suna has terrible taste when it comes to ordering milkshakes. “what flavor is this?” you spit out the word as though the very concept of calling this a real flavor is more disgusting than the drink itself, smacking your lips and screwing up your face at the excessively saccharine, artificial strawberry aftertaste.

this is no ordinary strawberry milkshake. no, this is a so-bad-only-suna-rintarou-would-order-something-this-horrible-(and-not-necessarily-on-purpose-either) strawberry milkshake.

“valentine’s valor,” he states matter-of-factly like those words mean anything to you. you stare at him until he elaborates. “their valentine’s special,” he clarifies and is gifted with a sarcastic thumbs-up from you in thanks—it is pointedly ignored and suna slings an arm over back of his seat. “dunno the exact flavor though. forgot.”

it tastes like the embodiment of pink, you decide. valentine’s valor. what a stupid name. there are a million and one better words that start with v... you can name at least five with a little thinking. you should ask them to hire you as part of their marketing team, you decide.

maybe it’s fitting title though. you certainly need valor to even think about taking another sip of that... concoction—which you do because you are obsessed with getting your money’s worth.

“valentine’s day was half a week ago?” your mental calendar helpfully supplies.

the clatter of pans in the back kitchen somehow mingles charmingly with the way rintarou throws his head back to laugh—a scene straight out of a movie really. you decide you hate him in the moment. “right you are. want a prize?” ugh. you stick your tongue out at his tone.

great. as if to add insult to injury, of course you’re sharing an out-of-date love holiday special with suna of all people. valentine’s was four days ago and this is where you are on a thursday night. the sticky upholstery of the booth seat, ripped and fraying at the corners, squeaks and groans and attaches itself to the fabric of your jeans as you shift around, suddenly hot. what a strange situation to be in, you think. this has to be a metaphor for life—then again, you’d been thinking this whole... thing has been a metaphor anyway.

yup, ever since suna sat next to you in a calculus II lecture all those fated months ago and took pity on how much you fucking sucked at math, up until the present where he takes slightly less pity on you but does enjoy emptying your dorm mini-fridge and making you pay for his milkshakes—all of it. this entire thing with him. one big stupid metaphor.

the specifics of how you came to have a routine like this are certainly murky, but two things are for certain—one, your calculus grade is certainly a lot better than it would have been otherwise, and two, you have one friend more than you did at the start of the school year. (that last one is kind of a big deal, you think. the college social scene is brutal. the word friend has started to become more disappointing than exhilarating lately though.)

rin reaches to your left to pick at the fries you’d ordered as a side—you’ve learned not to try and stop him. “also,” he adds, mouth full, “you’re totally getting me a new pencil after this.” yes, true, the pencil you’re currently leaving frustrated teeth marks all over isn’t yours. very easy to forget in the moment. you’ve probably destroyed 15 of his pencils by now for the 15 weeks of the last semester—only 7 so far for the current one. you do the mental math.

instead of drawing in the sharp lines of the differential equation that should be going in the question box, you lightly trace in the curves of a 2 and then another one next to it in the corner of the worksheet, graphite underlining them both in one swoop. the horribly thin paper of the school library’s printer is scratchy as you write but soon you flip the pencil over and under your fingers to tap the eraser (that has seen better days) just below what you wrote. “this is pencil number 22.”

suna leans over to look at the number as if you hadn’t just told him what it said. what an idiot. “glad you’re keeping count.” he settles back into his seat. “when can i expect my reimbursement?”

“you’re funny,” you say, without a hint of humor in your voice. the pretty 22 you had written now has flower petals growing off of the sides as you get distracted doodling along the edges of your work. it’s quiet for a moment as he watches you, or maybe as he takes the chance while you’re distracted to shove more french fries down his throat—either option is plausible and you don’t lift your eyes to check.

something occurs to you.

“rin.” you take an extended pause in between the words as you continue drawing, just to annoy him. you don’t continue speaking until he grumbles in acknowledgment (you try to hide your smile). “do you ever doodle in your notebooks?” now that you thought about it, suna was surprisingly pretty straight-laced when it came to class—you couldn’t ever recall him ever slacking off to the degree that meant his pages were filled with hearts and stars and flowers and suns and atomically inaccurate animals and tiny people in different colored ink. your work was always certainly the more vibrant out of the two (perhaps that could explain your grades and how you understand like... nothing in your lectures, but you decide correlation does not equal causation).

“waste of time,” he says around another mouthful of fries, another one already halfway there to his mouth.

suna is also surprisingly negative at times—but the blue book flipped open to his homework says maybe he’s just a liar though. you squint at it.

“it’s still pretty early but we probably should get out of here soon,” suna says, pulling his phone out from his pocket to check the time and leaning his elbows on the table. “i’ll walk you back. your roomie doesn’t leave the gym until 9—before you ask, yes i’ve been keeping track. it’s not stalking if it’s for my own sake.”—rin is, of course, referring to the long standing rivalry between him and your (very nice, might you add) roommate you don’t really understand but which has cumulated in him deciding he would avoid them as much as humanly possible purely out of spite. (“the only person i like in dorm 302 is you,” he’d told you one time and the throwaway sentence maybe made your heart flutter more than it probably should’ve.)

the bell above the front door jingles behind you as another patron enters. rin glances up at the sound and then returns to his phone with a bored bat of his eyes, probably scrolling through twitter or replying to texts, and picking at his teeth with a toothpick (where did he even get that?).

you try to get back to work (copying) but something in your gut tells you there’s more to his notebook than the messy handwriting and crossed out words that meet the eye.

with suna distracted, you take the chance to carefully slide the book towards you and then, in a single quick swipe, pull it into your lap under the table, already leafing to the back pages—everyone knows that’s where the real secrets are—not sure what to expect. a flash of color makes you pause and you flip back to a page that has the corner folded into a tiny, crisp triangle.

whatever you were thinking suna had stashed in the back of his calculus notebook certainly does not match up with what’s staring you in the face currently. sparkly, gel-inked hearts in neon colors glitter under the fluorescent overheads. in each of them, written in capital letters neater than you thought possible for suna, is your initials, a small plus sign in the middle, and then S.R. (for none other than suna rinatoru) next to it. it instantly makes sense to you. “rin, what the fuck.” one side of the book dangles from your hand, pages fluttering, and you hold it up for him to see, other hand flying to cover your mouth because you don’t know whether to laugh or pretend to be mortified or what.

it’s very amusing to watch how suna goes from a disinterested stare, to widened eyes, to reaching over the heaps of school supplies to attempt to grab the book from you, frantic. you hold it just out of reach. “what are you—” an old lady at a table shushes him when he half-screams. “—give that back,” suna whisper-yells instead in the greatest verbal equivalent of tiny caps you’ve ever heard.

“not a chance.”

he looks like he wants to lunge across the table and pry his prized possession from your meddling hands, but also has half the mind not to make a scene. getting kicked out and then subsequently banned from his favorite diner all on a noise complaint and disorderly conduct accusation was not ideal.

you hum, flip back to your place, and observe the drawings covering the lined pages. you shoot him a venomous smirk over the edge of the cover, one that’s more theatrics than anything, and say with all the satisfaction of someone who knows they have all the power, “oh, this is gold.” he deflates and you feel grateful he doesn’t see right through your facade because oh man are you sweating inside right now. what the fuck? no way suna rintarou is drawing little hearts with both of your initials in it like a lovesick middle schooler. no fucking way. you almost want to tell him that you did the same thing once when the thoughts about him had gotten especially bad (you felt guilty afterwards though, thinking you never had a chance with him, but... now... if he’s doing the same—well, that kind of changes everything).

suna is utterly defeated you think—doesn’t even try to defend himself, just slumps in his seat with a groan. you at least expected a “i can explain!” from him, a last attempt at dignity, not the resigned “i’m never going to live this down, am i?” he mumbles after a few seconds. well, either works for you.

“nope,” you quip, maybe a little too cheerfully because the response you receive is a distressed wail and him banging his head against the table. the old lady shushes him again. you chuckle at that (it feels a little wobbly though because once again, freaking out here) and flip the page. you stop.

this one has similar perfect little hearts drawn all over it, but there are other things. cute, standard shaky drawings of misshapen dogs and volleyballs and other things you never thought suna would take it upon himself to create but all of which make sense are there. but there’s something else. little scribbles in the corners with your last name swapped with his and even him trying out his name with your last one—all of them are scratched out but not so much you can’t read them. a list on the right in a very tiny font that makes you think he was embarrassed even penning the words is titled “date ideas?” (the question mark is in red and the dot is a heart) and has several popular spots around town written down in the local lingo of unofficial names for them.

“listen... please let’s forget about this.” rin’s voice is muffled and he’s still faceplanted. “it’s fine if you don’t... you know... yeah.” if you don’t feel that way, he means. true, the doodles were a pretty good indication of his feelings.

what to do...

well... you take pity on him, let your lips upturn and your eyes soften to reflect the sentiment, and shut the book with a quiet thud. you slide it back across the table from where it came and back to him silently. you give it a resounding pat when suna peeks up at you, expression saying it all—he was so going to get you back for this. you stick your tongue out—acceptance of the challenge. and just like that, you’re friends again—maybe that’s what’s so great about suna.

as you get ready to leave and slowly begin the trek back to the dorm buildings with him, street lamps glimmering a pasty yellow, there’s no awkward tension, no need to ask questions, no verbal wonderings about what ifs between you two. it’s just joking and shoving each other around and challenges to see who can run to the next tree the fastest in the middle of the chilly february night. you know, maybe for now you’ll keep your own thoughts a secret.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #happy birthday to me 🎉 #<<< the way i typed that tag so long ago and now look what day it is #extras #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #hq imagines #i accidentally deleted part of this b4 i can’t believe #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! scenarios #hq scenarios #why did this take me so long to write + it’s so dumb this is embarrassing #hq!! x reader #suna imagines #suna scenarios #haikyuu fluff #suna rintarou

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

The "Better Half" ; A Poly KiriBaku x Reader Fanfic

Enjoy the series | one two three four five

You walked into the room, flustered from Kirishima, and excited to check out your name that was all over social media. You even had your own Facebook Fan Club Group. Quickly, your mom gave you juice and sat you down, wanting to talk about everything. 

She sat by your side on the 2-person-couch, scrolling through fan art, fan group stuff, video footage, and such. I was already on famous birthdays, and had fan accounts on twitter.

You had gained thousands of people who had found and leaked your social media accounts, and had gotten hundreds of dms from classmates, teammates, and family friends. Everyone wanted a piece of the action.

“My baby!! With popularity like this, UA is bound to hear about you!! Gosh, my baby is going to go off and become the World’s Greatest Superhero!! The next All Might!” Inko excitedly fangirled over you, something rare in fact.

Over the years, with all your academic and physical accomplishments, the three of you had gotten so used to Inko ignoring you to give praise to Izuku, since he got none from others while you were practically worshipped for everything you did.

Yet now, as Izuku stared at you two from the kitchen, he saw how happy Inko truly was about you. How her eyes lit up, and her smile was bright. She was practically glowing. As a mother, this was how you were supposed to act.

But with Izuku, this never happened, no matter the act his mom put on. The highest grade he got was A-‘s, and never got all-A-honor-roll like you. 

He never had won a science fair like you, entered a states-level championship like you, gotten 1st place at a swim meet, or been voted Class President every year in middle school.

Izuku realized now how much his mother truly wanted to celebrate everyone of your milestones. How she wanted to be that mom with the perfect child, and shout it to the world. The only reason she didn’t was because of Izuku’s feelings.

Because Izuku didn’t do anything remotely close to you. Izuku was the reason his mother couldn’t be happy with her perfect daughter. It was because Izuku was so useless that neither of you had ever become close to one another.

When Inko was finally done, she sent you up the stairs to bed, saying to get rest for your big day of training tomorrow. “Hey mom, is-“ Izuku poked his head out to talk, only to get interrupted by Inko.

“One second sweetie. Yuno’s mom Michi is calling me. She’s one of the cool moms!” Inko smiled, quickly bringing the phone to her ear and racing out of the room. Izuku sighed sadly before turning and going upstairs to you. He walked into your room and leaned against the doorway.

“Soooo… What did you do while you were out?” Izuku asked, grinning as you continued to text on your phone. You brought it away from your face, fake-thought, and shook your head. 

“Just rode around for awhile. Why?” You asked, looking up at your brother. Izuku was taken back, surprised by your secrecy. Since birth, you two had told each other almost everything, but now… “Come on, I know something happened.”

Izuku began to walk over and sit on your bed when you looked up at him angrily. “Izuku, nothing happened! Stop being such a creep!” You harshly yelled, very annoyed by him prying. You did not want to talk to Izuku about boys, especially now.

Izuku stopped, shocked and hurt by your angry words. “I… okay then. Hey, I was thinking that maybe after school we could-“ He was interrupted by you looking up from your phone again, very agitated.

“I’m sorry, my schedule is packed tomorrow. I have training with my new coach and then I’m hanging out with a friend. Can it wait?” You asked as he felt his heart shatter, the wind being knocked out of him.

“Y-Yep.” Izuku whispered as he began to walk out. “Wait, Izuku!” You yelled, jumping up and running to him in the doorway. Izuku turned, happy to get your attention. Now would be when you would either apologize or want to reschedule plans for another time.

“Did you get my homework from Math and Science?” You asked, fidgeting with a pen while you stood there. “No, I’m sorry. I was just so shaken. up and I-“ You nudged Izuku angrily.

“Baka!! You were shook up? Gosh Izuku, I ruin my favorite relationship for you and you can’t even help me out?” You slammed the door in front of him and locked it. Izuku could hear you return to your bed, plop down, and eat another Pocky stick.

Snap! Crunch.

Izuku stood there, unable to believe what had just happened. Did you just… No. You were just having a mood swing again. It was no big deal… right?

Izuku stood there, listening to you talk to your friends on the phone. You giggled, laughed, and gossiped like normal. It was as if your twin brother hadn’t even gone to the hospital that day.

Izuku began to walk downstairs, only to hear his mother on the phone as well. Nobody cared, and nobody wanted to talk to him. Izuku began to waddle back to his bedroom and open his phone.

0 new messages. 0 new notifications. Just like usual, of course. Izuku began scrolling through the News, looking at all the articles about his sister, when a different article came up.

Teen suicide rate rises to all time high of 19%

Immediately, Izuku began sobbing as he brought a pillow to his face. Izuku had always had tendencies to not want to live, but had also always been scared of death. He had nothing to protect himself with after all.

He wanted to die, but the very thought of it scared him. About to fall asleep, Izuku heard a ping on his phone. How unusual… Izuku brought it to his face, happy to see it was a text from you. ‘Need 2 talk’.

Seconds later, you walked in silently and laid on the rug at his feet. “The first time… when I was attacked, ya know? I ran into the city and got lost. I was terrified. So, since I like high places, I climbed a rusty iron ladder up over 20 stories to the roof.” 

You explained, closing your eyes and reimagining the breathtaking view. 

“It was the red brick office building, the one with the faded Insurance logo on the front, and the rusty ladder on the right side. Gosh, you should have been there Izu. The wind was in my hair, and I was taller than the birds. I felt so connected to it…”

You trailed off, once again getting lost in your thoughts of the view.

 “An-An-Anyways, back to what I was saying!! After I got attacked, I ran all over. And then I met All Might! H-He talked to me about becoming a hero, and then tonight, he offered to train me!!” You smiled at Izuku as he gave you his best fake-grin.

“I’m going to start training with him everyday until the UA entrance exam, and then I’ll get in!!” You jumped up excitedly as Izuku finally let his smile break apart. “But… what about Mom and I?” He asked you as your grin softened.

“Well, I know I’ll miss you, but I need to learn about going on my own. We’re going to be adults very soon, and I need to separate now. Plus, it’ll only be four years, and I’ll be living at home. We won’t be strangers.” You explained, but he wasn’t convinced.

“So… you really want to go to UA?” He asked, staring you right in the eye, hoping you’d deny. Izuku hoped more than anything that you would say no, and that you wouldn’t leave him. You wouldn’t abandon him, all alone while you pursue your dreams.

“Yes Izuku, I really do. I really think it’ll be good for me. I know you don’t think it’s good but I do.” You began to protest as Izuku stood up. “It might be good for you but what about us? What about you and me?!” Izuku cried out as you turned to him.

“To hell with that! I have dreams Izuku! My dream is to go to UA and become a hero! I was always going to do that with my life!” You fought back, growing defensive. “That was my dream too!” Izuku yelled as you suddenly realized what this was about.

“It’s not my fault you’re quirkless Izu.” You murmured as Izuku began crying. “It’s not my fault either! I don’t want this Ichiko! You can’t leave! You’re all I have!” Izuku began sobbing as you became cold. “Then find something else Izuku. We’re not children anymore.”

You stormed out, slamming your bedroom door behind you. Izuku stood there, frozen with emotion. How had a simple talk gone so bad? He just needed you to know how he felt. You just wanted to talk to him about the future.

Most importantly, you twol had argued. You two never argued. It just wasn’t like you to fight, especially in such a screaming sensation like that. 

Izuku’s mind kept replaying the last sentence you had told him before storming out. ‘Then find something else Izuku.’ That had obviously been you telling him to stop being so attached to you.

You had said something about not being children anymore, and now that Izuku thought about it, it all made sense. The way you and Bakugo had become romantic, the way the childhood bullying had intensified, and the way you were slowly drifting away from him.

You were growing up, while Izuku was staying in his childhood. He was still pretending like he could become a hero with his stupid future notebook, and trying to exchange secrets like kids while you went on dates with boys and were training with All Might.

Deku just felt abandoned, sad, and lonely. The people he had put his love in had left him sad and heartbroken. He shut his door and covered himself in blankets, trying to fall asleep when he got visions.

“It was the red brick office building, the one with the faded Insurance logo on the front, and the rusty ladder on the right side.” Izuku got up, frazzled and horrified. Why… Why did he remember those words specifically?

Down the road from the town square, just look for it. Oh god, Izuku had to get out and get some air. He needed to get these horrible thoughts out of his head. He quickly got up, put on his sandals, and ran out. 

“I need to get some air Mom!” He yelled at her, but as he looked back to the living room, he saw her sitting at the table, talking away on the phone. Nobody will even notice… Nobody will ever care if I’m gone.

The night passed when you woke up to your alarm clock, like every other day. This day was different, in fact, today was exciting. Over 1000 notifications shown on your phone, you had your first training session with All Might, and tonight, you would get to see Kirishima. You were ecstatic to say the least.

You put on a new uniform that wasn’t coated in slime, brushed your curls, and did your light makeup of mascara, blush, and tinted chapstick. You quickly ran downstairs, bag in hand, to see your tired brother sitting on the couch. 

You grabbed him and yourself a protein bar and ran out, waving to your mom. On the walk there, Izuku seemed tired and sluggish, as if he hadn’t slept well. You choose not to ask, not wanting him to grow anymore agitated after your fight the night before. 

So you didn’t talk, simply walking the short 3 minute stroll to the gates of your junior high. As soon as you walked through the gates, you were bombarded with your friends, and other classmates crowding around you. In the mix of it, Izuku disappeared from your side.

The topics varied, from your best friends wanting to talk about Bakugou and your safety from the attack, to your admirers wanting to talk about how you defeated a villain, and then of course how it was to meet All Might. Behind a corner, you could see Bakugo glaring at you, watching.

You almost lost your voice throughout the day, talking up a storm with everyone who wanted to talk to you. You were a hero, popular in the media, and someone who radiated girl-power after yelling at Bakugou, the most feared student in the school.

Off in the corner of your eye, you saw Bakugo in the lunch line, ignoring his “friends” and staring off at you once again. Did he feel sorry? Did he miss you? Had he heard about everything? This had been the longest you had gone far without talking.

Lunch time was the first time you got some peace to yourself. You sat at the table with 10 of your good friends, finally able to talk about something good. Bakugo would have been there, but like usual, he was serving detention in the office. 

You began eating your bento when Izuku came around the corner from a hallway. “Hey Ichiko, I’m not feeling well. I think I'm going to go home for the day.” You gave him a confused look as he smiled, as if trying to hide something.

“I’m just so tired, and shook up.” You nodded, understanding as Izuku went to leave, but turned back to you. “Just know that whatever happens isn’t your fault. I love you Ichi.” He waved and left, not giving you time to speak. Weird...

Your friends quickly joined you, and you were finally able to go back to normal conversation about teachers, boys, and of course your friend’s drama with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Life was simple, but unfortunately, lunch ended as soon as it started.

You began walking in the hall with one of your friends, going to class, when she began talking about boys. “Kano and I tried but we just didn’t work out. And then Hikaru, the one I told you about with the longer hair, told me that he has a boyfriend which just makes no sense. Like, he’s gay??”

You laughed at your friend's story as you began walking to class. “What about you? Now that Bakugo is out of the picture, who do you have your eye on?” She asked as you giggled, instantly being reminded of Kiri.

“Well, there’s this-“ Before you could say his name, Bakugo slammed the door from the detention room in front of you. “I fucking knew it! Who is it?! Who the fuck has black hair and it still just soooo attractive?!” He screamed, earning everyone’s attention.

“You like him enough to kiss him on the cheek! Huh?! Who the fuck is it?! I swear I’ll rip them to pieces!” Bakugo screamed as you looked at him, unable to comprehend how he knew about Kiri.

“How do you- You’re such a stalker! Were you following me last night?” You asked as Bakugo’s eyes widened. “Tell me who it is!” He screamed as you shook your head. “No! Stay away from me you creep!” You felt your friend put her arm around you and walk you away from him.

Bakugo sighed angrily, watching you walk away without him. With all the eyes in the hallway on him, he stormed off to his next class. You couldn’t help but feel confused. Was he jealous? Was he hurt? Why did you care so much? You missed him…

You walked through the rest of your classes, all eyes on you after being called out for having a mysterious guy friend. It felt strange and weird, yet at the same time you couldn’t wait to see Kiri tonight.

When you walked into your final class, a sense of emotion walked over you. The last day of junior high before high school… it felt so surreal and fake at the same time. You were excited for the future, but scared.

You gave flowers to your favorite teachers, hugged all your friends and classmates, and took many photos. You were just so excited and sad, it was very bittersweet to leave a place you had gone every day for 3 years.

The worst part was the memories. Here, you have become your own person. You had found your own style, your own clique of friends, and your identity. Here, you had realized that you would become a hero.

Yet again, everyday here had been spent with Katsuki by your side. Six school dances, three school festivals, 4 class field trips, and many times when you would hang out behind the school together.

Finally, the day was over, and you were able to walk out into your first second of Summer. Of course, all the thoughts of relaxation were interrupted by a friendly blonde man by the entrance. 

You were walking out with your friends when one of them looked at something behind you. “Ichi… Do you know that man?” He asked as you turned to see All Might in his weak form, smiling and waving ecstatically. 

You smiled, relieved, and nodded. “Yep, that’s my… uncle. Anyways, I’ll call you guys later. We have training to do.” You explained as a girl to your left smiled. “Ahh yes, you are a hero in the making according to Channel 5 News after all.”

You waved to your group before running over to All Might who leaned against the school gate. “Young Ichiko, you’re looking well after last night.” He grinned warmly as you nodded. “Yea, I’ve had a pretty… eventful day.” You smiled back as you began walking.

He explained to you how he would train you to the max in hopes of making you as powerful as possible for the entrance exam, and would even train you past that until you succeeded him. He also told you about how he was going to be a UA teacher, and would keep a close eye on you always.

You two walked to the quiet beach, and began. He made you move rocks with him standing on it, threw things at you with speed and made you stop them, and of course made you go underwater and control the oxygen to keep you from getting wet.

It was hard, eventful, and left you dramatically breathing, almost gasping for air. And yet, after, you weren’t done. He made you throw rocks into the air and sent them as far as possible. He made you manipulate the ground, and use it to make you faster. 

You also began running miles on the road, All Might flying above you to shout empty commands and uplifting remarks. It was all hard, and you were so tired, but you would do anything to become a hero like him.

Finally, when it was over three hours after school, you fell to your knees, feeling your heartbeat in your eyes and like you were about to throw up. “Well, I guess we can stop here. That was a very good first day, I'm excited to see how you improve tomorrow.”

He grinned, sitting on a rock nearby. All Might stood and helped you back to your feet. “You look just pitiful. Come now, let me buy you some food.” All Might held onto your arm to keep you up as you both began to walk to a nearby café in town.

He bought you a sandwich and a smoothie, tipping the cashier a 20$ bill. Being the 1# hero in the world had its perks financially of course, and All Might was rolling in the dough.

You two walked to a park bench, and sat down happily. You had a lot of fun with All Might, and he enjoyed his time with you. He likes hearing about your life, and your crazy stories. He liked it when you talked about your friends, and your brother.

You were just talking about the one time your friend and you jumped off waterfalls in Hawaii and then had to run from a water snake when you got a text message from Izuku. Your face froze, and your heart rate accelerated.

“Young Ichiko, are you alright?” All Might asked, noticing your happy demeanor turn dark. You stared at your phone as you began shaking. “Oh god, Ichiko?! Are you hurt?” All Might asked as he turned to look at your phone screen. “Oh dear.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“Tell mom I love her.”

“Goodbye.”

Instantly, you quickly went to your tracking app that you had with Izuku and your mom, and looked at Izuku’s location. “He’s… just down the street from the town square. In the Kyoko Insurance Firm?” All Might asked, confused and worried like you. “No… he’s on the building I told him about.”

You jumped up and turned to All Might. “Can you fly?” You asked him as she shook his head. “I used up all my time for the day.” He explained as you began running into town. 

“I just have to run.” You sighed and began running into town, ignoring the burning in your legs and keeping your eyes on your phone. Through the town square, deep into two alleyways, and then down the street. You could already see a small group forming at the base of the building, looking up.

You threw yourself onto the ladder and climbed as fast as possible to the top. It only took a minute before you were staring at your brother who stood on the edge. “You shouldn’t have come here Ichi. I already said goodbye.”

You began to step forward as he turned around to face you. “Izuku, don’t do this. I promise you, you don’t want to kill yourself.” You pleaded as he stared bullets. “My life is useless Ichiko. I’m not athletic. I’m not smart. I’m not powerful.”

You began crying, shaking your head as you heard All Might come up behind you. “Izuku, if you jump off this building I’ll jump too.” You threatened as he shook his head and laughed. “No you won’t. You’re not stupid. Your life is meaningful. You have a bright future Ichiko.” 

The tears kept coming as you shook your head, pleading with him. “Izuku, how can I live the life we dreamed of without you?” You asked as he smiled warmly. “Live life to the fullest, and have no regrets. Live it for the both of us.” Before you could speak, Izuku leaned back off the building.

Like time was slowing down, you ran as fast as you could towards the edge of the building and reached for his hand. The look in his face showed peace as he closed his eyes. You let your arm reach for his, but we’re unable to reach.

As All Might watched this, he felt a rush in his blood as he grew to his hero-form and ran to you. Flying off the building, he was able to use his last ounce of energy to reach his hand around your waist and keep both him and you in the air.

Unfortunately for them both, it gave you a front row seat as you watched her twin brother fall to his death. You cupped your hands around your mouth, your eyes glued to his limp body that laid on the sidewalk.

Screams of horror and worry could be heard below as everyone ran to Izuku. Slowly, All Might lowered you to the sidewalk in the middle of the group. Instantly, you all were recognized. You dropped to your knees, unable to speak or move.

You lightly poked his arm, begging for a response. “I-Izu?” You gasped as blood began to fill uniform shirt. “No! Someone call an ambulance! Somebody, please!” You screamed as loud as you could, fighting against All Might who began to hold you back.

“Young Ichiko, there’s no use.” He whispered as you shook your head, trying your best to fight your way out of his grip. “No! No! He’s not dead! I need to help him, let me go!”

All Might finally twisted you around to face him and spoke to you. “He’s dead Ichiko! He’s dead, and I’m so sorry.” You began crying as you hugged him tightly. “Come now, let’s get you home. You shouldn’t have to see this.” 

All Might began flying you home in his hero form, finally reaching your driveway. You could see that by then, your mother had run out, even leaving the door open on her way to the car.

With the sun setting in the background, All Might sat you on the front porch with him, and let you two sit in silence. Just as All Might was about to say something, dozens of cars pulled up to the street in front, allowing camera men and reporters to spill out.

Obviously, you should have known that the 1# hero and a media sensation in the same place would bring attention. 

“Miss Midoryia, is it true that you witnessed your brother’s suicide?” One asked, not passing the curb to the house but filming you two. “All Might, how do you feel about not being able to save her brother?” Another man asked, trying to get his microphone as close to them as possible.

“I’ll get them out, do not-“ All Might was interrupted by someone rushing through the crowd. “Ichiko?! Ichiko?! Oh my god!” Kirishima pushed through the crowd and ran to you in a hurry. “Are you okay? Why are all these people here? Oh… All Might?”

When he and All Might made eye contact, All Might smiled warmly at you. “I can tell you’re in good hands. I’m going to get these reporters away from here. See you later Young Ichiko.” 

He patted your head and smiled sadly before flying off. Sure enough, more than half the cars followed along. “Shh…Shh.” Kirishima wipes the tears from under your eyes lovingly.

He brought a blanket from your living room and held your hand. “I’m supposing you saw.” You whispered weakly, your voice shaking harshly as Kirishima nodded slowly. “Y-Yea. Oh Ichiko, I’m so sorry.” He wrapped his arms around you as you cuddled on the outdoor porch swing.

“You want to go inside?” Kirishima asked as you shook your head. “I can’t. It reminds me of him too much.” You explained as he sadly held you in his arms. You watched the sun set over the hills, and cuddled deeper into Kirishima.

It was until it grew dark, and you got a call from Mitsuki. Kirishima picked it up and held it to your ear. “Hey Baby. Your mom and I are going to be out for a while, but your mom ordered something pizza for the house for you to eat while we’re gone.”

Mitsuki explained as you nodded. “Okay. W-Wait, can you ask Mom if I can have a friend spend the night?” You asked as Kirishima’s eyes lit up. “She’s not here right now, but I’ll give you permission. It’s not safe for you to be alone right now sweetie.”

And with that, Mitsuki hung up. “D-Do you want to go inside?” Kirishima asked nervously with a blush, noticing you shivering. You nodded, and without even trying, Kirishima picked you up bridal style and brought you inside. 

He sat you on the bar stool, and got you a glass of water from the kitchen. You smiled in a comfortable silence as small tears kept streaming down your face. “D-Do you want a tour?” You tried to smile as Kirishima leaned against the counter. “Of course.”

You got up and grabbed onto his arm as you walked around. “This is the kitchen, and living room. That small room over there is the plant room where all the sunlight is.” You showed him the smaller room with a music speaker and lots of windows.

Upstairs, you began to walk down the hallway. “Here’s my mom’s room, here’s the bathroom, here’s…” You turned to look into the All Might filled, grey room with a welcome sign on the front of the door.

Just thinking of it, you remembered just that morning when you had gone to talk to him. You had told him about your plans for UA, and he had gotten upset. He had been fearful about you two leaving each other. Did that have anything to do with him killing himself?

Seeing you were about to cry, Kirishima put his arm around your waist and pulled you close. You snapped out of it and began walking again. “This is the bathroom. You can shower whenever.” You both blushed as you got to your bedroom.

“Here’s my room.” You began to walk in, causing him to follow you. Your room was a large light painted room with a queen bed next to your huge window with a desk, a full-body mirror, and led lights. You had a big closet, and you had a lot of plants all around.

“Super cute.” Kirishima looked around your room before peering out the window. “There’s… a big tree right there.” He commented as you turned and smiled at him. “Good t know.” He played it off like it was nothing but you knew what he was talking about.

You sat on the bed together, resting your head on his shoulder. “It hurts…” You whispered, feeling the tears building up again. Everything you looked at seemed to remind you of him again and again.

“I know. And it will for a while, but it’s going to be okay. Things have a way of having a good ending, even if it’s bittersweet.” Kirishima tried his best to make you feel better, and in some way, it worked.

You grabbed a blanket and threw it over you two before laying back onto the bed. Kirishima slowly followed, embarrassed yet wanting to lay down with you. You cuddled against him with his back to the window, facing him and cuddling against him. 

You two decided to turn on the tv in your room and give the airless tension with background noise. He wiped your tears, told you funny stories, and made you feel better. He was good at comforting you when you felt at your worst moment.

From the street, Katsuki stared up at the window as he sat on the street curb. He had tried to come by early when the driveway had been filled with reporters, but yet again, the black-haired douche was right there with you.

Now, he had tried to come check on you, cake in hand, when he saw you cuddling with Mr.-I-have-long-black-shiny-hair. Not only that, but in bed. At night. WITHOUT INKO THERE. Katsuki refused to be replaced for his girl by some extra.

Comment if you liked it!!

@drbumpkin @bleachbetch @toobsessedsstuff @turtle-deku @1madxson1 @badb1hh @lilacskyura @thesuitelifeofafangirl

#mha oc #mha imagines #headcanons mha #mha poly #mha headcanons #mha kirishima #katsuki bakugo #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #anti bakugou #bakugou #bakugo #Kirishima Icons #kirishima x reader #eijiro kirishima #kirishima smut #bakugou x kirishima #Kirishima Eijirou #kirishima #polysexual #x reader #bnha deku #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #all might #fanfic #fanfiction

[syndianites]

A Queen Serve and Protects

Chapter Six

First Chapter –> Last Chapter –> Current –> Next Chapter TBA! Summary:

Post-Style Queen, Pre-Queen Wasp.

Chloe finds the Bee Miraculous, but instead of finding an obliging, subservient Kwami, she finds the Kwami of Order and Subjugation, and Pollen is not about to let herself be used like Nooroo was.

Granted, the only danger in a teenage girl is the damage she poses to herself. Can Pollen shape Chloe into a hero? Or will she stubbornly refuse to change and remain the bitter, harsh person the city has long since known?

[My take on how Chloe’s character could have developed] ——————————————————————————————

Pollen tapped the tablet pen on the table. School had ended and the duo was officially home.

“Chloe,” Pollen began. “It has come to my attention that you don’t do your own work.”

“So?” Chloe nonchalantly replied, crossing one leg over the other from where she sat on the chaise in front of Pollen.

Pollen tried not to roll her eyes. “So, I want you to learn how to be self-sufficient.”

Chloe scoffed. “I am plenty self-sufficient.”

“Really?” Pollen had a sweet smile on her face. “Then prove it.”

:readmore:

Before Chloe could make any remark, Polle flew over to her school bag. It looked more like a purse, honestly, with how much makeup and accessories she had stashed away inside. Seriously, what did you need an extra pair of heels for?

Pollen shook off the thought and grabbed the binder Chloe used for class, as well as her homework folder. Brining both items back to the table, she flipped the folder open. She pulled out the first sheet of homework she saw- something math related- and waved a paw at it.

Chloe gave her a dumbfounded look. “You want me to do that? Sabrina normally does.”

Pollen raised an eyebrow.

“Ugh, fine, I get it.” Chloe grumbled. “What does doing my own work have to do with being self-sufficient anyway?”

“When was the last time you did your own school work.”

“Ughhhh!”

Letting out a little giggle, Pollen decided to make a compromise, “For every question you get correct, I’ll let you ask a question about the Bee miraculous and its powers. However!” Pollen held a paw up before Chloe could get too excited, “For each you get wrong, you have to listen to some history and background on the miraculous.”

“Ooo-kay? How is that a loss for me? I still get to know what I want to know,” Chloe replied.

If only the poor girl knew.

Pollen beamed. “I’m glad you asked! You know how much you love our ‘Bee Nice’ Sessions?”

Chloe groaned.

“Anything I tell you will come along with lessons. I will tell you tales that are important for a number of reasons. And you have to sit through all of them!”

Chloe’s eye twitched. That sounded excruciating. Buuuut, she did want to know more about what powers the Bee miraculous could give her. It was just a simple math worksheet. Surely, it couldn’t be that hard. So Chloe took out a blank sheet of paper and began working.

She was wrong. So, so wrong. Chloe was by no means a bad student. She got solid B’s and pleased her daddy enough with her grades to get by. Did she need to have a study session with Sabrina before each test or quiz to get the contents down? Yes.

But that was all pish-posh. She figured if she could pick up enough for a test or quiz a day before it, she could do homework with no problem. Apparently, she hadn’t been giving Sabrina enough credit. That girl made it so much easier than this.

It didn’t help that her notes were a total disaster. Half-finished sentences, unclear instructions, and a clear lack of interest in each page. For a moment Chloe cursed her own apathy. She wanted to know more, damnit! 

By the time she finished she felt exhausted. Pollen, ever chipper, hummed as she looked through each question. She procured a pen and started making marks. That was a lot of red. Oh GOD, there was so much red.

Pollen tapped the pen to her chin in thought. Giving a nod, she wrote a score at the top of her sheet.

6/15. 

That was just under half! And that meant she would have failed had it been a test. Chloe resisted the urge to hit her head on the table. She could not afford to be forced into tutoring. Again.

Despite Chloe’s despair, Pollen was excited. This was better than she was expecting! Sure, she had been hoping for closer to a 75% or 80%, but Chloe at least had the idea down.

Plus this meant she could drill some more lessons into her charge.

Rubbing her paws together, she addressed Chloe. “Alright. Since it is almost an even split, let’s go back and forth with questions and history. I’ll start with a history lesson first, since you missed more than you got correct. But since I’m feeling nice, I’ll give you a choice here: Would you rather hear some history about my previous holders first, or about all the miraculous as a whole?”

“Your past wielders, of course! I need to know who would be so lucky to use the same miraculous as moi.” Chloe flipped her hair back to accentuate her point.

Pollen huffed. Nonetheless, she thought back to her past holders, humming all the while. Who would be the best to start with to help Chloe learn? 

She smiled as someone came to mind. “Now, before we start, I should say that we aren’t always deployed to battle some great evil. Sometimes, we are let out into the world to help inspire something. For me, I either inspire Order and Control. Or, when that gets to be too much, I inspire freedom from Order and Control.”

“Wait,” Chloe interrupted. “Why would you go against your whole Order thing?”

“I thought you wanted to talk about past wielders first,” Pollen brought a paw up to her lips to hide a smile. “To get into that would mean I would have to talk about all the miraculous.”

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Tell me the basics about all the miraculous first. But! You better tell me about your past users after!” Chloe conceded, pouting at the little god.

Pollen started again. “Like I said, we don’t always need a great evil to fight. At their core, each miraculous is meant to balance out their respective aspects. Tikki- Ladybug’s kwami- is the kwami of Light and Creation, for example. She is largely put out into the world to inspire new ideas and innovation.”

Chloe scrunched her nose in confusion. “Didn’t you say you also get put out to stop Order and Control? Why would you ever want to stop Light and Creation?”

“Well,” Pollen looked off to the side. “You can’t endlessly create. Tikki works on a more individual scale. She inspires Light and Creation in people as individuals. I, however, inspire Order and Subj- Control in a much larger scheme. After all, a bee’s focus is on the hive, isn’t it?”

“In any case, sometimes people burn themselves out when creating too much or spreading too much light. If you give and give and give, what is left for you? Nothing. And those left with nothing often crumble and fall apart- or worse. Tikki, when she is needed to, can either help her holder ease off themselves or help their holder teach others to let go of such demanding responsibility.”

Chloe nodded slowly. That… sort of made sense. “So it’s like when Adr- a friend of mine kept being happy and smiling even after his mother died to help others stop being sad. Because he wanted others to feel ‘lighter’” She made finger quotes, “Despite the tragedy that happened?”

“Yes, that could be a good example,” Pollen agreed. “If your friend gave away all his light and such to others, it could burn him out and leave him feeling empty and cold. Though, in this case I would lean more into the Peacock- he worked to give good emotion to others to cover their grief. But we’ll get there in a moment.”

“Plagg, Chat Noir’s kwami, is Tikki’s counterpart. He is the kwami of Dark and Destruction.” Pollen stopped as Chloe seemed to ponder that.

“If he is all about dark and destruction, wouldn’t that make him more likely to be evil?” Chloe mused.

Pollen, for her part, wasn’t bothered by the question. “If I am all about order and control, wouldn’t I be more likely to use and abuse people?”

Chloe bit her lip, but shook her head no.

“Exactly. Just because that is what we represent it does not mean we are prone to be good or evil. In the balance of all things, there IS no good and evil. Really, it just comes down to what a certain group likes or dislikes, or how a person’s morals are aligned.”

“Okay, no, Hawkmoth is totally evil. There is no doubt about that. How could taking control of others and using their emotions to turn them into monsters be seen as a good thing?” Chloe didn’t like the idea of Hawkmoth being in the ‘right’ at all. It went against everything he had done to Paris.

“Well,” Polled offered, “Does Hawkmoth see himself as evil?”

Chloe sat back in her seat. If movies were anything to go by, he probably didn’t. She sighed and motioned Pollen to continue

Pollen pushed on. “In any case, Plagg is often put into the world to ruin things. Surprising, isn’t it? But sometimes the best things are made in the ashes of destruction. Growing from losing things is important for many people. Like how your friend lost his mom- he likely felt sad and lost. But if he grew from that? He could learn to see that others will have his back and he can lean on them. Even in the hard times.”

Chloe looked away from Pollen. She was right, sort of. When Adrien’s mom died, Chloe had been there trying her best to cheer him up. Did it really work? No. But she helped him escape the house and run around the city with her, and watch stupid cartoons and shows, and sometimes, just sometimes, get him to smile.

“But losing your mom isn’t a good thing!” Chloe snapped back. “That devastated my friend and his family.”

“I know, and I’m sorry I painted it as such. Loss is a horrible thing to endure. But I wanted to make a connection to something you mentioned.” Pollen bowed her head. “Destruction is rarely a happy thing. But, a more positive example would be something more metaphorical- the destruction of insecurities, or breaking a bad relationship, or- or bashing down a wall so you can open up a room to have more space!”

Sighing, Pollen shook her head. “It is far too easy to see Dark and Destruction as a bad thing. Darkness can be used to hide when you don’t feel safe. Or it can be used to tone down how bright something is when you feel blinded. It can also be used as a complement and give things more depth.”

“Of course, Plagg has also been put out to tame destruction. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘fighting fire with fire’? It’s the idea that you fight destruction with destruction. But he can also help people see their bad habits, or the things that hurt them, and get them to reign them in and stop themselves before it’s too late.”

“Okay, sure, that makes sense. But didn’t you just describe Tikki and Plagg as opposites anyway? Light and Dark, Creation and Destruction? Why do they need to get people to go against their aspect when the other IS the opposite?” Chloe butt in.

Pollen brightened. “That’s technically later in this lesson, but I can touch on it now. You’ve likely noticed that Ladybug and Chat Noir came together as a pair, correct?” At Chloe’s nod, she continued. “That is because they are like Yin and Yang- opposites that complete each other. While other kwamis do have opposites, none quite work the same as Tikki and Plagg. They were once a single being- one that was the kwami of Balance.”

“Well,” Pollen rubbed her cheek, “They weren’t a kwami, per se. But that is too much to explain for right now. You recall how Hawkmoth’s goal is to get the Ladybug and Black Cat miraculous?”

“Of course, that’s all he ever talks about when he akumatizes someone!”

“Well, that’s because when you combine the two into one you can have any wish granted.”

“What!” Chloe slammed her hands down on the coffee table, startling Pollen. “That’s horrible! I mean, the power is cool, but if Hawkmoth got his grubby hands on that wish who knows what he would wish for!” 

“Exactly! But there’s a catch with that- whatever you wish for will have an equal and opposite consequence. If you wished for someone to come back to life? Someone else must die. If you want to have all the power in the world? Everyone else must become powerless. These may sound simple, but the gravity is just as dire as the wish would be grand.”

Chloe fell back. “So, if I- well, if I wished for my mom to love me..?”

“It depends,” Pollen shrugged. “Maybe everyone else around you would hate you. Maybe your father would stop loving you. Or, in a more subtle fashion, she wouldn’t love the real you, just a facsimile of you. Whoever she thinks you are. Sure, there are ways to make a wish that has a mostly positive outcome- for the one making the wish- but the consequence will always hurt someone. Even if it has to be a lot of someones.”

The two fell into silence after that declaration. It was a heavy thought. What could drive someone to want to change something so badly they would be willing to suffer or let others suffer for it? How cold hearted must you be? 

The whole thing baffled Chloe. She could just ring her father and have what she wanted with no consequence. Could she imagine doing something so drastic as to ruin someone’s life to make hers better?

Instead of voicing any of this, Chloe leaned forward. “So tell me about the other miraculous…”

#chloe bourgeois #chloe bourgois redemption #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml fanfic #ml fanfiction #pollen (ladybug) #pollen #pollen the kwami #Kwami of the Bee miraculous #Bee miraculous #every time i get lazier and lazier with these tags #anyway if you reblog this i would kill for you uwu

[newtsies]

Wish You Were Sober || Ralbert One Shot

a/n: this one shot is based off the song ‘Wish You Were Sober’ by Conan Gray! anything italicized and bold is lyrics of the song! its from Alberts perspective but its 3rd person if that makes sense idk. includes both  92sies and livesies characters. albert and race are based off of the livesies characters

tw: mentions of alcohol, drunk race, swearing, mentions of weed, mentions of possible drink spiking

modern college newsies au!

word count: 2,401

this party's shit

All Albert wants to do is leave, but he couldn’t do that. Race was drunk, even though he would deny it, it was obvious. Now usually that wouldn’t stop Albert from leaving but, Racetrack had driven himself. He couldn’t let his drunk friend drive himself home.

All Albert wants to do is leave, but he couldn’t do that. Race was drunk, even though he would deny it, it was obvious. Now usually that wouldn’t stop Albert from leaving but, Racetrack had driven himself. He couldn’t let his drunk friend drive himself home.

“Racer,” Albert yelled into Race’s ear over the loud music.

He grinned widely at him and threw his arms around Albert, “Albie!! Have ya had a drink yet? C’monn, juss take a sip!”

Albert winced at the smell of alcohol on the blonde boys breath and shook his head, “You’re drunk, Race. Let’s go. You’re gonna have a horrible hangover tomorrow!”

“Aw, I’m not drunk, Albie!!” He slurred, “C’mon, have some fun! Don’t be soo tense!”

go anywhere but here

“Racetrack, I really don’t want to be here,” Albert begged, “Can’t we go to McDonalds or something? Get you coffee and get you sober?” Race shook his head.

“Noo, they have good drinks! Just try the beer, you’ll see!” Race raised his can but Albert pushed the cup away from him. Race shrugged and walked away into the crowd.

Albert stood on his toes in attempt to follow his friend through the crowd. Race walked towards Jack Kelly, the football captain, who had his arm wrapped around David Jacobs shoulder. As Racetrack sat down, he was offered a blunt from Skittery.

don’t take a hit

Racetrack pulled it to his lips and inhaled. Albert frowned as he watched his friend blow out the smoke and smile. He repeated this action a couple more times.

Albert shook his head again and made his way back to a couch. He sat down, trying to get away from the loudness. The music still boomed, even in the farthest corners of the house. People bumped into his leg and shouted over each other. He closed his eyes and covered his ears in an attempt to escape his reality.

A few seconds passed before he felt someone sit next to him. He opened his eyes to see Racetrack, still holding the joint. Albert was met with a tired looking smile, but he knew his friend was anything but tired. Race started to lean into his face, but Albert pushed his face away lightly.

don’t kiss my lips

Race frowned for a second but shrugged and went back to smoking. Eventually, he got up and handed the blunt back to Skittery. Albert watched as he danced to the music, carefree. Acting as though there was no one else in the world.

Albert was memorized and watched him with a grin. The song ended, Race made his way to the kitchen. Albert jumped up and followed him, pushing through the crowd.

“Race!” He called, finally pushing into the kitchen.

and please don’t drink more beer

Racetrack brought the can of beer up to his lips and chugged it down. Albert winced once more and attempted to pull the drink away. However, he was ignored and pushed away as his friend continued to drink.

“Race, you’re cross-faded,” Albert groaned, “I really think you should go home. I’ll drive you, or walk you.”

“I’m fine, Albie! Honestly. It’s a partyyy, this is supposed to happen!” Race stated confidently, his words slurring every so often. Albert shook his head and looked at Race desperately. His friend ignored him and instead grabbed onto his hand and pulled him through the house.

“Albert! Racetrack!” Spot called out to them, “Hey guys!”

“Spott!” Race slurred and giggled. He pulled Albert towards to Spot.

Spot had a beer in hand but placed a hand on Race’s chest to hold him up, “Jesus, Race. You’re drunk as hell. Having a good time?” Racetrack nodded excitedly at him. Spot smiled and looked at Albert. “Haven’t had a drink yet, man?”

“He wants to goo, can you believe him?” Race scoffed.

“Albert! C’mon, man! You gotta just let loose some times!” Spot quirked his eyebrow and held out his drink to Albert.

Albert shook his head, “No thanks, Spot. This really isn’t my kinda place. Thanks though, it was pretty cool. I had fun.” That was a lie. There was nothing fun about this to him, but you wouldn’t catch him dissing the football captains party.

i’ma crawl out the window now

Albert pulled away from Race’s hand and pushed his way to the front door. Sarah Jacobs was using the door to support her back as she giggled her way through kisses with Elmer. Elmer too was laughing as he kissed her and ran his hands through her hair.

Albert sighed and swerved towards an open window. He climbed through it and fell onto the grass. The grass was cold and wet, possibly from dew or possibly from spilled alcohol. He groaned and walked out.

cause i don’t like anyone around

He was grateful to finally be away from everyone. The music was a lot quieter and he could only faintly hear people talking. Although he had no beer, his head was pounding. He rubbed his forehead and sighed.

kinda hope you’re followin’ me out

He heard someone fall through the window and turned around to see who it was. Instead of being met with Race, as he hoped, he saw Henry on the floor laughing. Henry jumped out and shouted at the boys as he pulled himself back in through the window.

but this is definitely not my crowd

Romeo was passed out on the stairs, his head hanging off the step. His arm was hanging off too but his hand was wrapped firmly around a can of beer. Mush and Kid Blink were making out against the door too, except on the front side. They weren’t giggling either, just kissing each other.

A baseball flew threw one of the windows and nearly hit Albert, who ducked just in time. The whole window was shattered. Albert shook his head and continued to walk throw the lawn until he got to the sidewalk.

19 but you act 25 now

Albert was stopped as he felt a hand on his shoulder, weakly attempting to hold him back. He turned to see Race who was panting and smiling at him. Albert smiled a little back at him and helped him stand up straight.

“They had so much alcohol! It was all amazing- They had- They had the best brands too! The wine made me feel so fancy!” Race rambled.

Albert chuckled a little, “You’re 19, Race. How do you know so much about alcohol? You can’t even legally drink it yet.”

His friend grinned and shrugged as he kept talking about the party.

knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow

Race was all but wobbling, leaning against Albert for support. Nonetheless, he continued to talk about his adventures clearly.

“I downed like 5 cans,” He stated proudly, “Hey, did you know Crutchie is like amazing at chugging! He downed like 8 beer cans! Oh, today. Spot taught me that space doesn’t stop expanding, isn’t that crazy?”

Albert nodded, pretending as if they didn’t learn that in 8th grade. Race looked at the cup in his hand, noticing it still had liquid in it. He grinned and brought it to his lips, drinking the practically full cup in just one gulp. Albert sighed.

ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed

Race shivered as cold air hit his knees through the rips in his jeans. His flannel blew behind him and presented the white tank top underneath it. He held the empty cup in his hand.

Albert couldn’t help but watch Race. His friend was very attractive, he wouldn’t deny it to himself, only to other. Racetrack crumpled the cup and tossed it into some yard.

“That’s not good for the environment,” Albert sighed, but Race just shrugged at him. Albert continued, “What was in the cup?”

trade drinks, but you don’t even know her

“Dunno! Me and this reallyyyy pretty girl traded drinks!” He grinned.

“Who was it?”Albert asked.

“No idea,” Race chuckled, “Never seen her before! Didn’t ask for her name, music was too loud.”

“Race!” Albert groaned, “The drink coulda been spiked!”

“Nah,” He laughed, “Saw her drink out of it before we traded. Plus, I feel fine. I left anyways, so it’ll be okay.”

save me ‘til the party is over

“Anyways, I noticed you were gone. Thought you were kidding. Decided I’ll keep you company ‘til the party ended. Consider it me saving you,” Race grinned, his words slurring even more than at the party.

Albert forced a smile and shook his head.

“Give me your keys,” Albert stated. Race tilted his head in confusion but gave him the keys anyway. They walked together to Race’s Rover. Albert held the door open for Race and helped him inside. He then closed the door and climbed into the drivers side.

kiss me in the seat of your rover

As soon as he got into the driver seat, Race grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. For a second, Albert forgot his friend was drunk. He slid his hand into Race’s hair and kissed him back, until he opened his mouth and Albert could taste the alcohol Race had drank. Albert pulled away and pushed away Race’s hands away as his friend attempted to pull him into a kiss again.

real sweet but i wish you were sober

Albert looked up and held his eyes open, attempting to hold back tears. He closed his eyes and banged his head gently against the steering wheel.

“Why did you pull away,” Race whispered.

“You’re drunk,” Albert choked out, “You’ll forget tomorrow, anyways. I can’t kiss you. Just drunken feelings, Race, that’s what you’re feeling. I don’t feel that. I got real feeling, sober feelings. Let’s get you home, yeah?”

trip down the road

Albert turned the keys and started the car. Driving off towards Race’s house. Nearly halfway there, the car started sputtering. He pulled off to the side, only to see the gas tank was empty.

He groaned and got out of the car, pulling Race out too. Albert called Tripple-A.

“We can take you boys home,” The tow-truck driver offered. Albert shook his head.

“We’ll walk, it’s only a bit from here,” Albert stated and pulled Race along the sidewalk.

walking you home

Race couldn’t walk straight. Albert was holding his hand and pulling him, but he kept tripping. Albert sighed and ducked under Race’s armpit and supported him. He wrapped his arm around his blonde friend’s waist and held him up.

Albert continued to walk himself and Race towards the rental house his friend lived at. After a bit, they finally arrive at the house. Albert walked him up the porch.

you kiss me at your door

Racetrack grabbed Albert’s face and pulled him into a kiss again. Albert sighed and pulled away, resting his forehead against Race’s. Race sighed too, the alcohol on his breath filled Albert’s nose. He groaned and grabbed his friends keys.

He pulled Race into his own house and sat him down on the couch, moving to the kitchen. Albert quickly made coffee, black coffee, and sat down next to Race. He brought the cup up to Racetrack’s lips and made him drink it.

Race’s nose wrinkled at the bitter taste, but he drank it anyways. Albert brought the cup down and place it on the table.

“Finish drinking the coffee. Take this,” Albert placed an ibuprofen on the table, “Then go to sleep, okay? I’ll come check up on you tomorrow.” He started to get up.

pulling me close, beg me stay over

Race pulled Albert close to him, and looked at him with sad eyes.

“Stay, Albert. Please,” He begged, “You can stay on the couch. Don’t leave me here alone.”

but i’m over the roller coaster

Albert sighed and kissed Race on the forehead, “Not this time, Race. You’ve  kissed me twice today, and you’ll forget that in like 5 minutes. I’m tired, man. It’s been a crazy day. Tomorrow, I’ll be back. I promise. I gotta go.”

i’ma crawl out the window now

He placed the house keys on the table and moved towards the door. Albert figured that Race wouldn’t get up, meaning he wouldn’t lock the door behind Albert. So, he locked the door for him then crawled out of Race’s window. He closed the window behind him and watched Race’s hand lazily lock the window.

getting good at saying, “gotta bounce”

Albert didn’t expect to drag himself home. Usually, he would just go along with what Race said. “Stay,” was all it usually took to get him to stay.

He’s just getting better at saying goodbye, he figures.

honestly you always let me down

Race was always dragging him to things, promising to not drink. It never happened. He would always drag him home and make sure he didn’t die. But, no matter how many times Race let him down, Albert would still go along with him.

Albert grumpily walked into his house, angrily slamming the door behind him. He kissed Race twice today. His friend wouldn’t even remember. He shook back tears before climbing into bed and falling asleep.

He woke up early the next morning due to a consistent ringing of his door bell. A hand banged on the door repeatedly while the door bell rang. Albert climbed out of bed and opened the door.

and i know we’re not just hanging out

Albert didn’t even get a minute to register who was at the door before he was pulled into a kiss.

“I didn’t forget,” Race whispered into his ear before pulling him back into another kiss. Albert grinned and finally kissed him back.

No trace of alcohol was in Race’s system.

He was sober.

--

#hope you enjoyed!! #ralbert #race albert #racetrack albert #racetrack higgins #albert dasilva #racetrack newsies #albert newsies #newsies fanfic #newsies fanfiction #newsies oneshot #oneshot #newsies #ralbert oneshot #ralbert fanfic #conan gray

[yourfavisirredeemable]

souyo angst - post-true ending

y’all the souyo tag has been more active than I’ve seen it in a long time (I think cause of the PC release) which makes me happier than I can measure. I’ve loved persona 4 ever since 8th grade and souyo really is my favorite ship of all time. in celebration, here’s a bunch of angst headcanons I’ve been holding onto for 5 years, specifically related to the izanami battle/true ending. (they’re actually not necessarily souyo-specific, but since I ship souyo they kinda have that overall vibe)

- do y’all really think yu narukami is just gonna come away from that battle with izanami/being trapped in a time loop illusion for an untold period of time and NOT bring any trauma with him? cause I don’t

- specifically, he can’t get rid of a horrible, nagging thought that follows him even after the IT celebrates their victory - what if this is all still part of izanami’s illusion? izanami could have just nested an illusion inside of an illusion, and that way, she can defeat him without him even knowing it

- which would mean, of course, that his friends are all still dead and he’s just living it up with a bunch of illusions. his friends sacrificed themselves for him, while he gets to live out his summer days in peace surrounded by a perfect simulation.

- that thought is terrifying to him, and it only grows over time. there’s the horror of nothing being real and his friends being dead, compounded with the guilt of having abandoned them and the helplessness of never being able to know the truth. he has the cold realization one night that he’ll never again know for certain that the world he’s living in is the real one.

- but he tries to keep it to himself and act like he normally does. after all, if he can’t ever know for sure, why worry about it? this world is probably the real one - his friends seem normal, time keeps flowing like it usually does, and even the velvet room seems the same as it was before

- as hard as he tries, his doubts and fears are really impacting his mental health, which eventually affects the way he acts. it’s subtle, but the others eventually notice it - yosuke does first, since he knows yu the best.

- he notices that whenever there’s a silence, yu will stare off into space with a strained and even slightly fearful expression. he’s worried, but he just tries to be there for his partner like normal, figuring he’ll talk to him if he needs someone to rely on

- rise notices the dark circles under his eyes and asks about them, to which yu nonchalantly responds that his part time work keeps him a little busy. chie notices that he doesn’t seem to have as much fun when they work out or watch movies, and yukiko notices the way he starts withdrawing from conversations until he’s standing at the edge of the group, even quieter than normal.

- teddie and kanji don’t notice anything on their own, but eventually those who have started to get worried bring it up with the rest of the group. naoto, of course, has noticed everything, but nothing in yu’s behavior has indicated it’s anything worse than blues about leaving inaba or stress from work

- yu, for his part, realizes that his friends probably know something’s up, but every day he feels less and less motivated to tell them what’s actually wrong. after all, what would he even say - I’m afraid all of you are illusions, and my real friends are already dead? 

- plus, there’s the fact that saying his fears out loud would somehow make them feel more real. so instead, he tries to ignore them, and only spirals more

- he starts feeling really scared when he finds himself having the occasional violent thought toward his own friends - if the real yosuke’s dead, why should this illusion get to live? how dare an illusion pretend to be his best friend?

(more specific headcanons/fic ideas under the cut)

- imo, the possibilities for this headcanon are endless. you can take your hurt/comfort as far as you want it to go (personally, I love projecting my mental illness onto fictional characters so full depression/anxiety is definitely on the table), and the timeframe means any fics could be set either before or after he leaves inaba

- personally, I think it could be interesting if he returns to the TV world, perhaps to look for answers or just to blow off some steam, and finds out his shadow’s gotten loose again. which would ofc mean that now he’s trapped in the TV world with no persona, a shadow that for sure wants to kill him, and a dungeon of his own forming around him

- (btw, I know the TV world changes after the fight with izanami, but I think since it still exists and the IT still has personas, they can still have shadows as well)

- this would be an interesting way for the IT to find out what’s really been happening. they would notice yu missing and eventually check the TV world, whereupon they would find an entire dungeon and see yu’s shadow for the first time.

- the dungeon, I think, would have a lot of different elements - recurring rooms from dojima’s house to represent the time loop he was trapped in, an origami version of inaba to represent how everything seems fake, etc.

- as for his shadow, since I love to go full angst, I think it would be absolutely vicious. it represents the nagging belief that everything’s fake, his hatred toward himself for “abandoning” his friends and living a happy lie, and his hatred toward the IT for being illusions meant to replace his dead friends

- as a result, it would try to kill yu almost immediately after manifesting and attack the IT on sight. this would be particularly devastating for yosuke - he only found out that saki hated him (x to doubt, I’m still not convinced she actually didn’t like him but that’s another post) through her shadow, so being immediately attacked by yu’s shadow would be heartbreaking

- yu’s shadow wouldn’t feel any need to explain itself to an illusion, so it would just silently and violently attack him with a look of pure hatred. which would be a confirmation of his worst fear, that yu secretly doesn’t think of him as a partner or an equal, and in fact doesn’t even think of him as a friend.

- but of course he would soldier on, determined to save yu even in light of his “true” feelings. the rest of the IT would also bring up the fact that they don’t know the full story yet, and there could be a reasonable explanation for why yu’s shadow is so violent

- since I love to make my favorite characters suffer, I also like to headcanon that eventually yu would let his shadow kill him. or at least almost kill him, since the IT busts down the door before it’s too late, but at that point he’s unconscious and in no shape to accept or reject his shadow

- (he didn’t accept it before even though he knew he should because he didn’t want to accept his violent urges toward himself and especially toward his friends)

- so basically the IT just has to grab yu and run. I was thinking this headcanon through and my brain was like ‘why not throw in some extra souyo angst,’ so a barely conscious yu might pull a reverse uno card on yosuke and sacrifice himself to protect him, unwilling to let his friend sacrifice himself again

- which would ofc make things even worse for yosuke. aside from the obvious, there’s the confusion arising from the fact that yu’s shadow tried to kill him, but yu himself was willing to sacrifice his life for him

- either way, I think yu would be barely alive by the time they make it out of the TV world. from there it’s just a matter of him recuperating enough to go back in and accept his shadow, which is complicated by the fact that essentially being split in half across two dimensions is definitely not healthy.

- there’s plenty of angst in the recovery process, but this post is already super long and I wanna get into some of my other thoughts

- just a quick aside, I think as a perhaps less angsty headcanon yu might just be extra averse to yosuke sacrificing himself after they win against izanami, especially in the animated version where I think only yosuke sacrifices himself instead of all of their friends

- so the next time yosuke tries to sacrifice himself for yu he’d get an earful, maybe even accompanied by a breakdown where yosuke realizes how badly he scared his partner during the fight with izanami

- anyway, I also have a fun night in the woods-type idea relating to this - after yu leaves inaba, nothing seems real to him to the point that it actively breaks down his mental health

- it’s only when he returns to inaba or is with someone from inaba that the world doesn’t just look like a grayscale mesh of unsubstantial shapes

- which could lead to something interesting if yosuke (or your yu narukami pairing of choice) comes to visit him at his college dorm and finds it an absolute mess or barely decorated at all with a depressed yu inside, or if yu drops out of college entirely to return to inaba, baffling his friends and family because he was at a really good college and had a great future ahead of him, or if he returns to inaba and is terrified to find that sometimes it’s in grayscale too, or-

- the point is I’ve thought a lot about this and I love both persona 4 and night in the woods so I think it’s fun

- there’s also plenty of potential for yu to just break down and tell his friends what’s wrong in the real world before he leaves inaba, which could make for a great hurt/comfort oneshot

- all in all, I think yu would have definitely been traumatized by living in a time loop for who knows how long and there’s a lot of potential there. (don’t ask me about what I think would happen if margaret hadn’t gotten him out of the time loop cause that’s an even longer even darker post. or maybe do ask me)

anyway, I know the souyo fandom probably still isn’t exactly popping off but I hope anyone who finds this post enjoys it!

#persona 4 #souyo #yu narukami #yosuke hanamura #souji seta #headcanons #fic ideas #this has been in my brain for so long y'all believe me this is the short version #long post #tw suicide #tw depression #tw anxiety

[takonei]

I rate the DR 10th anniversary outfits because

Sooo someone posted scans of the thing and I am here to rate those disasters. Here we fucking go.

---

Makoto: 7/10 Simple and effective, but nothing special.

Taka: 7.5/10 A bit more classy than Makoto but still simple with not much originality.

Byakuya: 6/10 Out of all the characters who could have worn a jacket incorrectly, they choose McRich for the job. I hate it. But outfit is fine I guess.

Mondo: 10/10 So ridiculous and in character. Love it.

Leon: 5/10 What are you, scottish? The shoes ruin everything for me they’re so ugly smh. I know I can’t draw shoes either but what are those

Hifumi: 0/10 Look Hifumi, I know your character gets too much hate but I gotta say: Ew.

Hiro: 6.5/10 I like the outfit. But my guy, that color is piss. If you had just changed the color I would have added 2 points.

Sayaka: 7/10 Like Makoto, it’s nice but that’s it.

Kyoko: 9/10 Damn, she look classy as hell. I don’t like that much whatever is going on with the sleeves but the rest looks stunning.

Hina: 10/10 My girl looks SPLENDID in yellow. And the flowers are great too, I just love her. Plus that smile <3

Toko: 8/10 It’s nice, I like the bun(s?) and the dress looks good. The flower in her hair is a nice touch and the colors fit her.

Sakura: 9/10 My girl looks great in buns (+ flower). I like the kimono a lot but the colors used irks me just a tiny bit. Still love her, though.

Celeste: 8.5/10 I wish that veil was a bit more transparent so I could see her dress in it’s entirety. Either way, she looks stunning and that hairpiece is just in character.

Junko: 9/10 The dress looks fantastic, the mask is a nice touch but I feel like she would have been perfect with loose hair.

Chihiro: 7/10 Say what you want about the onceler, I like that outfit. Very cute but the socks(?) give me the same vibe as Miu’s bondage gear and mmmm don’t like that

-

Hajime: 7.5/10 See Makoto above but a little 0.5+ for that flower.

Nagito: 8.5/10 I’m a sucker for boys with tied hair, as you may already know. White looks nice on him, and the outfit is nice.

Twogami: 4/10 You just took Hifumi’s ugly outfit and put a fur coat on it. It doesn’t look that bad since it’s at least less flashy, but I just don’t vibe.

Gundham: 6/10 The outfit is okay I guess but are you telling me that this guy wouldn’t choose something 100 times more extra? He looks so plain. Give him the crazy outfit he deserves.

Kazuichi: 6/10 You fucking disaster. You just took your jumpsuit and made it fancy. This is so damn ridiculous, but I can still see some appeal in it but like, you’re a disaster man. Also nice glasses bro

Teruteru: 10/10 I love it. The vibe it has,,, I love this. The colors, the simpleness yet effectiveness, it’s just perfect.

Nekomaru: 6.5/10 It’s fine, I guess. It does fit him, but I don’t see that much stuff that could be considered out of the ordinary in a good way.

Fuyuhiko: 7.5/10 Palette color is good but like. The outfit is peak bisexual. I don’t even hc him as bisexual.

Akane: 10/10 THAT’S MY GIRL. She is more of a queen than Sonia will ever be, I’m sorry. She is rocking with that cape. And the outfit is great.

Chiaki: 7/10 It’s cute and effective, it fits her. I don’t like her hair that much for some reason, but overall she looks neat.

Sonia: 6/10 What do you mean this isn’t a miss universe contest?  I can’t vibe, I’m sorry. It looks nice, but it feels more like a popular girl’s dress than who Sonia really is.

Hiyoko: 7.5/10 It looks better than her in-game outfit, at least. The colors suit her, I like it.

Mahiru: 7/10 I have mixed feelings. I love the dress, but the headband is a huge no from me. Little plus for the flower, though.

Mikan: 1/10 Who thought this was a good outfit? Genuinely curious.

Ibuki: 9/10 This is so damn extra, I love it. So many ribbons for nothing, it almost gives a Touhou vibe. But the outfit itself? Horrendous color palette, but it fits because it’s Ibuki.

Peko: 9/10 Opposite of Ibuki on the same spectrum. It’s calm, classy anyway, and fits Peko. I don’t have anything to say, it’s just really good. Nice flower btw

-

Rantaro: 7/10 Outfit is fancy af, but you would have a better grade if it wasn’t for that damn fedora.

Kokichi: 7/10 Who the fuck wears purple socks with white shoes? Also as I said before, he looks like the type of person who gets drunk before coming to the party. Outfit’s good, but once you get to the details it’s a disaster.

Keebo: 4/10 I do not vibe. I don’t know what I’m looking at. Is this another armor? Is this an outfit on the armor? I don’t know. Scarf looks a bit out of place. Also Keebo, wearing your jacket like Hiro doesn’t suit you I’m sorry.

Gonta: 4/10 I do. do not vibe. Too many squares? Too green? idk what bothers me the most. Also he gave me a heart attack the first time I saw him bc I thought he had cut his hair.

Shuichi: 6.5/10 After those two disasters I am glad to see someone at least decent. The color palette doesn’t suit him that much, but I can respect it.

Kiyo: 10/10 The guy is so classy it hurts. I don’t even know if that’s a skirt or pants but either way I love it. This outfit just suits him 100%.

Ryoma: 3/10 What the fuck is this. What. What is this. This hat reaches Touhou levels of ridiculousness. It’s horrible. The outfit is kinda better than whatever some of them have going on but holy shit the hat ruins everything for me.

Kaito: 9/10 The coat is fantastic. Black with tiny moons and stars + a space interior? That’s beyond perfect. Outfit is nice, although I would have liked a different color for the vest and the pants.

Kaede: 8/10 It’s simple and effective. I really like the flowers but still, I can’t get used to Kaede’s haircut. At this this one has cute flowers and ribbons.

Miu: 8.5/10 Now you would think that with what Mikan got, Miu would get something super revealing, but this is surprisingly not the case. It’s very original and it suits her a lot, especially the huge sleeves.

Tsumugi: 7/10 The dress is nice, but that’s pretty much it. I like how she tied her hair, it does look nice. Also those shoes are weird tbh

Tenko: 9/10 I was wrong. This is, in fact, a mini-short. She looks so classy and I love the new placement of the hairpin. She looks a lot like a talentswap Magician!Tenko and I love it. So classy. Very good.

Kirumi: 10/10 That’s peak fancy. I just. I love. her. She’s so fucking great like the elegance, the classiness, everything is perfect. I believe in Kirumi supremacy.

Maki: 3/10 I’m sorry I hate this dress. It had good potentiel but the color palette irks me. No. I can’t. Hair looks nice tho.

Himiko: 8/10 It’s just so damn cute. Idk if the space theme is a reference to her beta design but either way, I love it.

Angie: 8/10 A different kind of fancy. I like the large pants, it does fit her vibe. Also that veil is cool af.

#am I gonna tag everyone? #yes #makoto naegi #kiyotaka ishimaru #byakuya togami #mondo oowada #leon kuwata #hifumi yamada #yasuhiro hagakure #sayaka maizono #kyoko kirigiri #aoi asahina #toko fukawa #sakura ogami #celestia ludenberg #junko enoshima #(f for mukuro btw) #chihiro fujisaki #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #byakuya twogami #gundham tanaka #kazuichi souda #teruteru hanamura #nekomaru nidai #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #akane owari #chiaki namani #sonia nevermind #hiyoko saionji

[juyeoniemyhoney]

a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be

You love Jungkook. You’ve always known that much. But after living under the same roof for a year, you finally realise that your love for Jungkook is not at all platonic but in all ways romantic. Your feelings only build as another year passes and finally, one grocery run later, you tell him how you feel. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t end well.

-pairing: jeon jungkook x reader 

-genre: angst, just angst all the way.

-warnings: swearing, Jungkook’s a little bit of an ass in this one

-word count: 3775 words

-A/N: hii this is my first time posting on tumblr but i’ve been writing since like 2016 lol. i hope you like this depressing imagine and stay tuned for more imagines that are coming soon. also, i don’t really even like the ending and i feel like i dragged this out wayyyy more than i should have but oh well, i hope you enjoy it anyway. please let me know what you think and feel free to leave feedback so that i can improve!

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When you decided to live with your best friend, you should’ve known you were bound to fall in love. 

Flashback to senior year of high school. The two of you had miraculously graduated with incredibly average grades. Jungkook got into university solely because of his outstanding performance on the rugby team and you had gotten in thanks to pure luck. Seriously though, that was a really close shave. Anyway, the decision to live together when the two of you realised that you were going to the same university came as easy as a spring breeze. 

Which thus began the deterioration of your heart. 

Ever since you met Jungkook in your first year of primary school, his big eyes and beaming smile had always tugged at something in your chest. You had never denied this feeling, assuming it was because you love Jungkook, which you did, just platonically. But having to live with Jungkook made you realise that even though you were with him most of the time, you never really wanted to leave his side. 

For years, you had denied any thought that maybe you might be in love with Jungkook. But you had taken every single thought by the throat and stuffed it deep, deep down inside you, into the deepest, darkest corners of your being, forgotten and left to rot. Every single time your heart fluttered when you looked at him, every single time your skin tingled when he touched you, every single time your cheeks blushed when he did something for you, you had stopped yourself from feeling those things, those pesky little butterflies in your stomach because Jungkook is your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. Even though you know that he always meant more to you than you did to him. 

The one thing you dreaded once you realised that you love Jungkook more than a friend, was your monthly grocery run. When the both of you had first bought the flat — which you had only been able to afford thanks to Jungkook’s kind, high-rolling parents — you had both agreed to always go grocery shopping together, no matter what. You’re not really sure how this agreement came about, but at the time, it didn’t really matter to you because Jungkook was just Jungkook then.

But now that Jungkook is Jungkook, your crush, your heart cannot help but swell with how domestic grocery shopping with Jungkook always sounds. 

And grocery shopping with Jungkook is what you are going through right now. 

Right now, a year after realising that you are romantically in love with Jungkook and two years after moving in with your best friend, Jungkook stands next to you in the feminine products aisle, holding a crumpled piece of paper with grocery items carelessly scrawled on it, his other hand on the shopping cart that is a quarter-filled with household items that the two of you need to last until the next month. Despite how this situation is not at all scary, your heart beats like you are hanging precariously over a high ledge, palms clamming up as you nervously ball up the fabric of your shirt. 

“Which one is it?” Your saliva is stuck halfway down your throat when he asks the question, causing you to choke and cough the saliva up. You seriously need to get better at hiding your nervousness around him, if this even counts as hiding it, seeing as how you are literally not being normal, cool, or calm. You mentally face palm yourself for being you. 

“Um, I don’t see it,” you reply as calmly as you can, relaxing a little when you hear that your voice does not waver at all. 

“Here! Isn’t it this one?” Jungkook exclaims suddenly, scaring the absolute shit out of you and causing you to jump up in surprise, letting out a squeak when you see that it is the brand of pads that you use. You shove the thought that Jungkook does pay attention to you and tell yourself that it is because he has to see it on top of the cabinet in your shared bathroom every time he goes into it. He has lived with you for two years, of course he knows what brand you use, you idiot. 

“Yeah, thanks,” you mutter as you throw three packets into the cart before walking off, hands casually locked behind you as you roam the aisles, not sparing Jungkook another glance as he pushes the cart and follows behind you. You refuse to look at Jungkook and have your cheeks heat up again, especially not after he caught you blushing when you first met up with him fifteen minutes ago. 

Despite the fact that Jungkook had gotten into university solely thanks to rugby, he had surprised everyone by deciding to major in film. Though you had been a little surprised, you knew that film, or anything that had to do with a camera for that matter, had always fascinated Jungkook. And now in his third year of university and a certified adult, Jungkook had decided to get a job and stop relying on his parents. A little later than everyone else, but at least he finally decided to stop splurging the monthly allowance he got on cocktail nights at the bar around the corner. The job he got was a good step for Jungkook but a horrible one for you for he had decided to audition for a modelling company. And he got in. 

Which is why you don’t want to even spare him a glance. Because Jungkook had just gotten off work which meant that he had his hair done up, soft strands of light brown styled so that it was out of his eyes, allowing the light to hit his usually hidden, dark brown eyes, turning them a golden brown that reminded you of slow-dripping, melted caramel. And even though all he is wearing is a sky blue shirt and navy slacks, your mind and heart is going absolutely feral at how well they compliment him, high-waisted slacks cinching his waist and loose shirt hanging off of his broad shoulders. You realise that your arms ache to hold him.  

“What’s next on the list?” you ask, derailing your thoughts, as you nonchalantly survey the aisles so that you don’t have to turn around and look at Jungkook, even though you want to. You want to look and never stop. But he can’t know that. 

“Cereal,” he answers, catching up to you so that he is walking next to you, the end of his sleeve brushing the top of your shoulder. You give into your urge to look up at him and immediately, as if someone has punched you right in the gut, the wind is knocked out of your lungs because he is already staring down at you, a small smile tilting the corner of his lips up. You can quite literally feel your pupils dilate and you pray to god that he did not see it as you quickly but— you hope —casually turn your gaze away from him, nonchalantly asking, “Oh, we ran out?” 

“Yeah,” he replies, stopping to retrieve the cereal from the shelf. You reach out too but he beats you to it, knowing full well that you will never be able to reach the cereal that only sits on the highest shelf. Your heart stops for a while when you can feel him unintentionally press into you, chest brushing up on your ponytail, heat radiating from his body and pulling sweat from the pores of your palms. But the warmth quickly retracts with him as he pulls away from the shelf and haphazardly dumps the box of cereal into the cart before setting off, pushing the cart forward and out of the aisle, leaving your frozen form in the dust. 

You quickly snap out of it and follow Jungkook. 

As you trail behind him, pretending to look at products along the way so that you can stay behind him and play with your thoughts, your mind wanders off. All too suddenly, you are daydreaming, imagining yourself as courageous as you confess your harboured feelings to Jungkook. In this alternate universe that your imaginative mind has created, Jungkook beams down at you and accepts your confession, confessing that he too had been harbouring feelings for you. Jungkook calling your name snaps you out of your delusions. 

“Y/n?” 

It takes you a little too long to realise that he is talking to you but when you do, you reply with the most flustered, the most nervous sounding what you have ever heard leave your mouth. 

“I asked you if you wanted Nutella,” Jungkook patiently asks again. Far too nervous to properly internalise the question and reply with a proper answer, you haphazardly shake your head and pretend to wander off into an aisle filled with shampoo. You honestly don’t know why you said no. Nutella runs in your blood and your stupid diet — which is really just you being far too lazy to actually get up and make food — has your body aching for Nutella. But your pride runs deeper than you expect and you do not correct yourself, allowing Jungkook pass by the Nutella without another glance. 

Now back to overthinking. One of the reasons why you liking Jungkook is so bad is because, well, he has a fucking girlfriend, one who he loves very much. Plus, as if the universe absolutely fucking hated you, Jungkook had told you about said girlfriend, on the bloody day that your stupid ass had finally realised that you were romantically attracted and in love with Jungkook. And as if punching you in the face wasn’t enough, the universe had pierced your heart with the fact that you knew this girl. He had started dating Yoora. And you loved Yoora. Or more specifically, you found it humanly impossible to hate that girl. 

Ever the polite and sweet girl, Yoora had helped you pick up the wind-scattered pages of the love story you had written, handing them to you with a sweet smile and wishing you a good day ahead as she walked off. After that, you seemed to see her everywhere. So much so, that she had finally decided to approach you one day and become acquainted with you.

The aching pain of your unrequited love only continued, with each glance at Jungkook. You had also third-wheeled on a number of their dates and watching Jungkook look at Yoora, or someone who wasn’t you for that matter, with so much love squeezed your heart painfully, as if the universe was trying to wring a towel dry and your heart so happened to be said towel.

And Yoora being nice to you isn’t helping either. She has always looked at you kindly even though you are literally living with her boyfriend. Maybe she has always assumed you are gay or don’t harbour any feelings for Jungkook, or maybe she has always thought the best of you, that even if you did have feelings for Jungkook, you would never even dare try for him. 

So how on earth are you supposed to love him when Yoora’s kind and understanding eyes always flash through your mind when you think about Jungkook? How on earth are you supposed to hate her for stealing Jungkook away from you when she has been nothing but nice to you? But at the same time, how on earth are you supposed to like Yoora when she is the reason Jungkook is impatiently waiting for you to finish with your last year in university so that you can finally move out? How on earth are you supposed to like her when she is all that occupies Jungkook’s mind, leaving you forgotten like you are some childhood toy that Jungkook has grown out of? How are you supposed to live at all when those three fucking words take over your body like a goddamn curse, seizing control of your feelings like your heart is some kind of airplane and your feelings for Jungkook are forcing your heart into a nosedive, flying straight into the ground and shattering the feeble vessel? 

The answer is that you can’t. You can’t fucking live. 

“Is that all?” Jungkook asks you after about ten minutes. You did not even notice that you were lost in your shitty thoughts for that long. When you raise your head to look at the cart instead of the floor, you see that it is filled with groceries that will be a pain in the ass to carry home alone. Right, you totally forgot Jungkook is meeting Yoora right after this, which means you’ll probably have to carry everything back by yourself, seeing as how you’ve been carrying groceries home by yourself for the past three months. 

“Yeah,” you reply after your eyes lazily scan over the items, looking up to give Jungkook a weak smile before walking away and leading the way to the cashier. 

Silently, the two of you load the items onto the conveyor belt one by one, allowing the cashier to scan and pack the items into flimsy plastic bags before handing them to you. Jungkook pays since it is his turn and quickly tucks his wallet into his pocket before rushing to help you by taking most of the plastic bags from your hands, leaving you with only one bag. Against your own will, your heart swells with love. 

“Aren’t you meeting Yoora?” you question him as the two of you begin to walk out of the building. Jungkook turns to you and flashes you a bright grin, one that has something splintering in your chest and your breath hitching. 

“I told her to wait a little longer,” he answers, smiling sheepishly, tone hinting that he feels guilty for ditching you for the past three months. As he should. You reply with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. 

“Also,” he starts, trailing off a little as he pauses to let you walk ahead little before switching places with you so that he is walking on the outer side of the pavement, steps spilling onto the grass when the both of you have to squeeze past people who selfishly idle on the pavement, lingering outside shops for smoke breaks. Your heart’s quickening beat rings in your ears. You ignore it and flash him a grateful smile before he continues his sentence. 

“As I was saying, what’s up, Y/n? You’ve been a little off these days,” Jungkook questions, taking his eyes off the pavements to periodically glance at you, eyebrows knitted together in a concerned frown, teeth worrying his bottom lip. 

Of course Jungkook would think something is fishy. Once upon a time, the both of you could easily read each other like a children’s picture book, it was foolish of you to think that just because he prioritises his girlfriend before you, doesn’t mean that he can’t read your behaviour. It was foolish of you to think that Jungkook had changed at all. So far, he seemed normal. Maybe it was just you. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve been cold lately. If you haven’t realised, all you’ve said to me throughout this whole shopping trip were short sentences that end the conversation straight away. And I know you’re always working on your essays for your classes but we don’t even have movie night anymore. Not to mention that you barely even talk to me anymore. So tell me what’s wrong. Did I piss you off or something?” Jungkook explains, a sadness oozing from his gentle gaze that he turns to you as the both of you halt at a pedestrian crossing. The sorrow in his eyes causes your chest to tighten as you find it impossible to talk. Because you miss him too. So much. You would kill just to feel the unadulterated rapture you felt when you were spending time with Jungkook. You really just want things to go back to how they were before you liked him. 

“Oh, I’ve just been going through a lot lately,” you answer, trying to keep your reply as vague as possible, hoping he leaves it at that and waits for you to tell him when you are ready. 

But of course, Jungkook continues to pry. 

“What are you going through? Come on, Y/n, you can tell me. If you do, maybe I can help you,” he bombards you, eyes silently pleading that you allow him to fix your problems. You know he means well. Jungkook has never intentionally caused harm to you but right now, you just want him to drop it. Because how on earth are you going to explain to him that you are in love with him and are jealous of his pretty, smart, kind girlfriend? 

Apparently your brain knows how.

“Well,” you start before you can stop yourself. The look in Jungkook’s eyes makes it impossible for you to just cut it off there, so, you continue. 

“I’ve liked this boy for a long while now but he has a girlfriend. I really want to tell him but I’m afraid it’ll ruin our friendship,” you blurt. At first, your chest feels light, heart finally rid of the words that had weighed it down. But then, you look at Jungkook, gorgeous eyes conflicted as he carefully articulates what he wants to say next. Then, again, your heart fills with an unimaginably heavy weight that sinks it all the way down to your gut. And you cannot help but think, he knows. He knows and he’s is going to break my heart all over again. 

“Can I ask.. who it is that you like?” he asks wearily, as if he is a hunter approaching a wild deer that startles easily. As the two of you turn the corner to your shared apartment, you glance up into his eyes once more and your heart sinks further. Fear. Fear swallows his eyes as he awaits your answer, afraid that what you’ll say next will completely decimate the past fifteen years of your best friendship, afraid that you will completely destroy his trust with your next words. 

And even though you want to lie to him, you find it impossible to. Which is why, before you can stop yourself from blurting it out, you reply with, “You.”

The feeling of complete and utter horror hits you after a second of lag time. Despite the extra second that it gives you to prepare yourself, you do not use it and when the realisation of what you said hits you, it hits you hard, like a million bricks to the face. 

Jungkook stills and you freeze too, too scared to even look at him. The both of you stand on the street, a few steps away from your ground floor apartment, a few steps away from privacy. But you think that at this point, privacy completely flies over Jungkook’s head. 

“I have a girlfriend, Y/n,” he states, as if you didn’t already know. You turn to face him and Jungkook’s expression is not at all far from terrifying. He has never looked at you with such stern, angry expression, eyebrows knitted together in a disapproving frown rather than his previous concerned frown, and it quite literally scares the shit out of you. His gaze has hardened and he looks at you as if you have committed murder — which you have, seeing as how you have completely lynched this whole fucking relationship. 

“I know you have a girlfriend,” you scoff. You swear for a second that Jungkook glares at you. Your heart stops. What have you done?

“I just-“ you start, trying to explain yourself but Jungkook cuts you off by raising his hand. For the shortest of milliseconds, you think that he is going to hit you, slap you, do something. But then, you dismiss the idea, knowing full well that Jungkook will not harm you. He is Jungkook. No matter how angry he is, he won’t ever lay a hand on anyone, especially you. 

“You know I have a girlfriend and yet you decided that it was appropriate to confess your feelings to me now?” he questions in a clipped tone, frown deepening with each thought that passes through his mind. 

“Look, Jungkook,” you start, taking a deep breath before continuing. To your surprise, he listens patiently. 

“I have been in love with you for two years now. Or well, I realised in our first year of Uni. But I’m pretty sure that I’ve been in love with you for far longer than I’ve realised. I know that you have a girlfriend and I know that I’m being selfish and a really shitty friend right now but I’ll be honest, it was beginning to burst out of me, my feelings, the words that I yearned to speak but could not, knowing that I’d be condemned to hell for speaking them. So quite frankly, I know I shouldn’t be scolding you, but I don’t need a fucking scolding from you,” you snap at him. Your breathing is laboured after the words leave your mouth. You pause for a second and watch him, waiting for him to make a move, to blow at you anyway. But he stays silent and you walk away, shoving your key into the lock of your apartment and swinging the door open with so much force that it slams into the coat rack standing behind it, knocking it down. 

Jungkook silently follows you into the house, gently placing down the groceries at the entrance of the kitchenette before he slips back into his shoes and leaves, slamming the door behind him. The slam is loud and resounding, and it feels like the sound waves are reverberating inside your chest, shattering your heart like glass. 

Left in the deafening silence, an air of complete and utter regret filling your apartment like a thick fog, the weight of your’s and Jungkook’s words finally take their toll on you, somehow increasing the gravitational pull on your body and pulling you to the floor. You do not know how you have yet to burst into tears but right now, all you can feel is a numbness that overwhelms your senses, dulling them down. Your ears tune out, your vision narrows, and the cool, tiled floor of the kitchenette beneath your fingers does not feel like cool tile at all. 

God, Jungkook must hate you now. 

And finally, at that thought, the idea of your best friend — or really, your only true friend — hating you, do your tears fall. 

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[reddrobins]

damians happiness [d.wayne]

Older! Damian Wayne x Reader

Summary: The batboys begin to notice a shift in Damians behavior. Being the detectives they are, they decide to find out what could possibly could be bringing the demon child happiness.

“I’m worried.” was all Dick said when he made his way into the large kitchen.

Tim picked his head up from his computer, a look of confusion plastered on his face, “About?” The teen asked.

Dick leaned against the far countertop, looking at his younger brother. “Damian.”

Though Tim and Damians relationship had never been peachy, some part of him still cared for Damian, so he continued, “Is he okay?”

“Yes.” Dick said, waving his hands, “That's why I’m worried! He’s not his angsty self anymore, Tim!” Then he dropped his voice to a whisper, “I saw him smiling yesterday.”

Tim spit out his coffee. Damian? Smiling? “What? How? When? Does Bruce know?”

Dick passed his brother a paper towel and then shrugged, “I don’t know why or how or whatever, All I know is that somethings up.”

While wiping the spill, Tim bit his lip in contemplation, “Should we ask him? Like just in case he’s being mind controlled or under some toxin or something?”

The older son nodded, “Look, normally I wouldn’t spy on any of you, but this is worrying. I'm just thinking, maybe tomorrow we hang out with him. Forge it as some brotherly time and just see how he acts. A little recon mission.”

“Should we get Jason in on this?”

Dick shook his head, “No can do. Said he was on a mission with Roy and the gang.”

“Bruce?” Tim then suggested.

“Not yet. We’ll tell him if things get bad, don't want to bring too much attention to operation Annie.”

Tim quirked an eyebrow, “Operation Annie?”

Dick shrugged, “Yeah, you know, like orphan Annie. She's like always singing about how tomorrow will be happy and stuff.” At the look on Tims face, Dick rolled his eyes, “Whatever, I don't normally come up with mission names… Leave me alone idiot.”

Tim grinned and having nothing better to do the next day, agreed to his brother's plot.

-

“I’m telling you, beloved, that a single bad mark isn't going to stop you from getting into Metropolis University.” Damian said into the phone, “Plus, if it just so happens to halt your admission, tell them you're dating Bruce Wayne's son.”

You laughed on the other side of the phone, “Dames, I am not using you as a way to get into college. That's just wrong.”

The teen vigilante shrugged, “They would be imbeciles to not let you admit anyway. It would be their loss.” Then, “And my love, why do you even want to go to Metropolis? Its so far away…”

“Aw,” You teased, “Will a certain boy miss me?”

Damian scoffed, “Obviously. The days are long and boring without my beloved.”

Blushing, you asked him, “Enough about me. What are your plans after this semester?”

Damian thought about what graduation meant for him. Full time as Robin. Was the only thing to come to his head. Of course though, he couldn't just say that to you. He hadn't mentioned that part of his life yet.

“Most likely boring business meetings.” The wayne teen said glumly, “Of course if you were to come work for my father…” He trailed off.

“Damian, I told you. I would love to but I already have my heart set on the Daily Planet.”

The stupid Daily Planet. That had been your dream since your eleventh grade journalism class. Damian didn't know why you had settled on somewhere as far as Metropolis, He thought the Gotham Gazette was just as commendable.

“I know, I will just miss you my love.”

You laughed at his neediness, “Dami, I will still talk to you daily. We have phones you know.”

“I know, it's just not-” A knock sounded at his door, “One minute (Y/N), someone is calling for me.”

Damian got off his bed and walked towards his grand door. Opening it, there stood Dick and Tim, suspicious smiles on their faces.

“Dames!” Dick said, grinning at his brother.

This caused Damians suspicion to grow, “Grayson.” He said formally, “What's the occasion?”

“Nothing special,” The man spoke, “Can’t a brother just want to spend time with his own?”

No, Damian wanted to say.

“What about you Drake, is it brother time as well?”

Tim shrugged, “I mean if Dick says so.”

“Damian, should I go?” Your voice rang out in a quiet whisper from the phone.

The addressed teen put a finger up, signalling his brothers to silence and then brought the phone up to his ear. “I’m sorry bel- (Y/N), our conversation will have to be continued later.”

Nodding in understanding, you said, “Of course, no worries Damian. Love you, have a good day.”

He hung up before he said it back, not wanting to clue his brothers in on his new secret lover. Before he could stop himself, a small lovestruck smile made its way to his face.

Too late.

“Who was that?” Dick asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

The youngest child rolled his eyes, smile dropping, “No one of your concern. Just a schoolmate needing help with work. Now,” Damian acknowledged the two at the door, “Can we get this brothers day over with please.”

-

The day started off just as Damian had suspected, boring.

Dick had suggested the three of them go get ice cream and take a walk around Gotham Park.

Damian had already yawned a multitude of times, wanting nothing more than to go back to the manor and talk to you.

“So,” Tim spoke, “This is nice, I feel like we never do this.”

Dick nodded in agreement. Though, Damian not so much.

“Yes Drake, I love being dragged from my room to walk around a people infested grounds area. Certainly this is how I wished to spend my day.”

At that, Tim looked over at Dick, scrunching his nose. So much for Damian being happy, His eyes seemed to say. Dick just shrugged in response, maybe he did just imagine his brother's happiness.

Just about as he was going to speak, Damian's phone rang and the youngest teen excused himself.

“(Y/N)? Is something wrong?”

As your conversation continued, Tim and Dick had one of their own.

“It's that girl again.” Tim said. Dick nodded, “Look at him, he's smiling.”

The two turned to watch Damian, who was now smiling into his phone, kicking the dirt beneath him absentmindedly.

“She's the one that’s doing it to him. She's making him happy.” Tim deduced.

The eldest son rubbed his chin, pondering, then, “Tim. I have an idea.”

“Oh no,” The teen mentioned, moaned, he knew that look. It was the classic, ‘Grayson is up to something stupid’ look.

“You’re a genius with computers.” He spoke, Tim nodded along, “Tonight, we get a hold of Damians phone. You trace the call back to whomever (Y/N) is and tomorrow, we invite her to the manor!”

Dick, being the optimist he was, thought his plan was foolproof, Tim couldn't help but disagree.

“Two things, Dickie-bird, First, how the hell are we going to get his phone?” Tim asked, And secondly, this sounds like a horrible idea. I can't help but see this fall apart in like a million ways.”

Before Dick could disagree with his brother, Damian returned. “I apologize for that. What have I missed?”

Tim was going to fill him in, but Dick interrupted, “Who was that Damian?”

The teen mentioned glared at his older brother, “None of your business, Grayson…” Then, “But if you have to know, it was my classmate again. They had another question on the homework.”

Tim passed him a smug look, “You two seem to be awfully close or just classmates” He teased.

“Tt.” Damian gave, “At least I have game, Drake. Why don't you go back and talk with your minecraft girlfriend?” Dick laughed as Damian smirked while Tims face brightened to a cherry red colour.

-

That night, you had received an odd text before heading to bed.

Hi, is this (Y/N)?

Was all it read. With hesitance, you responded:

Yes, and this is?

The next text was much more cheerful.

hi! My name is Dick. I’m Damian's older brother. The little man's phone broke so he’s asking me to message you. Tomorrow, he was asking, if you’d like to come over for Lunch? Here's the address: 1007 Mountain Drive, Gotham

You stared at your phone. Damian was inviting you to his house? Though this invite didn't really seem like a Damian move, you accepted.

Sure. Is 12 a good time to swing by?

Dick responded with a quick ‘perfect’ before saying goodnight.

Turning off your phone, you rolled over and went to bed. All the while dreaming about what tomorrow would bring.

-

“Done.”

Tim looked up from his computer, making eye contact with Dick. “Done with what?” He questioned.

“I texted the mysterious (Y/N) and invited her to lunch.”

The younger brother's eyes went wide. “How,” He questioned, “How did you get Damians phone?”

Dick smirked, waving his own phone, “I didn't! It was genius, I just did a quick search on the batcomputer and her info popped up. So I texted her.”

“If Bruce finds out, you're dead.” Tim then shrugged, “I have to hand it to you DIck, that was pretty smart.”

Flashing a glimmering smile he spoke, “What can I say? I’m not all looks, Timothy. I have some brains in here.” He tapped his head.

-

Twelve o’clock had arrived much sooner than expected.

After being dropped off by a taxi, you stared up at the big house. You had always imagined Damians house to be large, but this?

Shaking your thoughts away, you gingerly made your way up the stairs and to the front door.

Do you knock? Ring the doorbell maybe? Your thoughts were rampant, not wanting to make a bad impression.

Before you could even lay a finger upon the button, the wide doors swung open, revealing a tall man with sparking blue eyes and a disarming smile.

Dick Grayson. You knew from the tabloids.

“Um, Hello?” Your greeting came out more like a question, leaving Dick to chuckle.

“Hi!” He said excitedly, “I’m so happy you could make it… I mean Damians happy you could make it. He planned this after all!”

You eyed the older man, suspicious at his wavering tone of voice, but dismissed the distrust. “Yeah… me too.”

Silence took over the conversation as you stood waiting to come inside. Dick finally caught on, “Oh, my bad. Want to come in?”

Nodding, he led you inside. You almost fainted while looking at the sheer greatness of the manor.

“Welcome to Wayne Manor!” Dick said, proudly,”I know its a lot to take in at first, but you'll get used to it.”

No I will not. You thought.

“This way to the dining room, if you'd like to take a seat. Alfreds just finishing up lunch.”

So many questions swarmed in your head, Who’s Alfred, Why is their house so big, Where is Damian?

You nodded along, following Dick into the grand dining hall. You didn't know they made tables this long.

Before Dick went to check on lunch, he said, “You can sit anywhere… I'd suggest the last seat on the right, that way you'll be next to Dames.” His tone suggested teasing and you had to restrain yourself from rolling your eyes.

Be polite, you scolded yourself.

Taking a seat, you patiently waited for someone else to come into the room. When the door opened your heart picked up, hoping it was your loving boyfriend.

Alas, it seemed to be another raven haired and ocean eyed man. He seemed to pause when he saw you, confusion masked on his face. “Um, Hello?” He said, gripping his mug tighter towards him.

“Uh, hi?” You said, questioning tone once again.

You watched as the gears turned in his head until a lightbulb went off and he nodded to himself, “You must be (Y/N), right?”

“Yup.” Then, “You are?”

“Tim Drake. Damian's older brother.” How many brothers did Damian have? “The midget will be down soon. I’ll let him know you’re here.”

Midget? Damian was like what? 5’11? Taller than you that is.

Tim left and you were left by your lonesome again. That was until Dick bursts back into the room, a tray of sandwiches in his hand. “It's fine Alfred,” He called into the kitchen, “Don't worry, I got it.”

He then turned to you, “Butlers am I right?”

Not knowing how to respond because you never had one, you nodded along.

“Does PB and J work for you? I know it's Damians favourite and I assumed it would just be yours too, seeing how close you are.”

Your cheeks flared at his words, did they all know you were dating? You thought it was a secret?

“Yes, works with me.” You said with a shaky laugh.

While you and Dick awkwardly made small talk, a bigger commotion was going on upstairs.

-

“Drake!” Damian pounded on his brother's door. ��Drake open this up right now!”

Following Damians commands, Tim walked to his bedroom door, cracking it open, “Yes, Damian?”

The taller though younger brother pushed the door open all the way, stomping into the room. “Why is (Y/N) here?” He hissed.

Tim quirked a brow, folding his arms, “How do you know?”

“Tt,” Damian gave, “I’m not deaf, you imbecile. I heard the car pull up. Who invited her?”

Now, don't get it wrong, Damian was totally ecstatic to see you somewhere other than school, but he was not okay with his whole family being here.

“Me and Dick.” Tim said bluntly.

Damian's glare hardened, “When? Why did you think it was a good idea, you backstabbing al'abalah!”

Tim put his hands up in defence, “Listen. We saw how happy she made you and we just thought it'd be a nice treat to see her in person.”

Damian agreed, it was a nice sentiment, however, why here? “That doesn't excuse you both for betraying my trust. I wanted to keep my relationship private for a reason, Drake.”

His older brother smirked, “Relationship, huh? Thought she was just a classmate.” He teased.

The youngest Wayned groaned and stormed out of the room, racing down the steps.

-

Your laugh echoed throughout the dining hall. Damian stood in front of the door, smiling with butterflies in his stomach and palms sweaty. He couldn’t believe you were actually at his house.

Opening the door, he heard Dick say something stupid causing your laugh to erupt once more.

Upon opening your eyes, you caught Damians, the two of you staring at each other. Dick smirked and pushed his chair out from under him, “Well,” he started, “Guess this is my cue, have fun you two.”

At that, the man walked out of the dining room, not before giving Damian a wink.

The youngest Wayne rolled his eyes at his brother, then turned back to you.

“(Y/N).” was all he could muster.

“Damian.” You replied.

The teen raced over towards you, immediately grasping your hands and pulling you up from your seat, engrossing you into a hug. “You’re really here.” he whispered into the embrace.

You pulled away, smiling, “I am, my love.” You whispered back.

Damian let go of your hands and took the seat across from you, “I apologize for the odd circumstances of course, this was not how I wished to introduce you to my family.”

Nodding in understanding, you dismissed his apology with a wave, “Damian, it doesn't bother me at all. I quite like your brothers.”

Groaning, Damian spoke, “Can't say the same, beloved. They did plot against me, after all.”

Smirking, you reached across the table, playing with his fingertips, “If they hadn’t, we wouldn't have seen each other today. Maybe you should be thanking them.”

Damian soothed the back of your hand with his thumb, “I would’ve found a way to see you. I can’t stand to live a day without seeing you.”

At his flirtatious words you blushed, “Damian Wayne, you are the only one for me.”

It was his turn to blush, “Same for you beloved.”

You pulled your hand away, lifting the silver cover from your lunch tray, “Good. Now, time for sandwiches or?”

Damian pondered for a moment then, “I have a better idea.”

-

The two of you sat on a big red blanket, settled down in the front yard of the Manor. While you munched on your freshly made pb and j, Damian sat with Titus in his lap, stroking his fur.

You couldn't help but admire the view, he looked like a prince. Strong jawline, bright green eyes and soft well kept hair, and it was all yours.

You sighed lovingly causing Damian to look over, “Enjoying the view?,” He teased.

Playfully, you rolled your eyes, bringing your arm up to ‘hit’ him.

He caught it, turning your play punch into a handhold.

Brining your grip towards his mouth, he kissed your palm, leaning against the warmth of your hand.

Enjoying the calm and serene moment, the both of you stayed in this position for quite some time, too in love to notice the car pull up.

-

Inside the Manor, Dick and Tim stood by the large front window, looking out at the scene on the lawn.

“Something wrong boys?”

The two brothers jumped at the voice behind them. There stood Bruce, dressed in business attire, briefcase still in hand as he had just got home from WE.

Tim was the first to speak up, “Yeah actually. Damians smiling.”

Bruce gave his signature bat-smirk at his son, “And that's a problem?” Yes, though it was odd, Bruce found comfort knowing that something in this word could make his angsty teen of a son happy.

Tim looked up at Dick for help, He quickly jumped in, “Of course not Bruce, it's just… odd? We’ve spent years trying to get him to laugh, to smile, anything and then suddenly, he's enjoying himself?”

Bruce could've sworn for the kids he considered intelligent, they sure had no grasp on relationships, platonic or otherwise. The tall man made his way in front of the two, looking out on the lawn.

A smile crept onto his stoic face as he saw Damian, curled up against you, laughing at something you had said. “He’s in love.” Was all Bruce said.

He walked away from the windows, only stopping when he realised his sons were still spying on the couple. “That's enough,” He said, waving them away from the window, “I’m sure you’ve both intervened already, leave the boy be.”

Though Tim and Dick still yearned to watch their little brother fall further and further for you, they listened to their father and backed away from the tall window, closing the curtains.

-

“They’re gone.” Was all Damian said to you.

Picking your head up from his lap, you furrowed your brows, “Huh?”

“My Brothers,” He explained, “They were spying on us. Though, they are gone now.”

“Oh.” You responded, laying back down.

Damian went to play with your hair, “It is just us now, beloved.”

You hummed in response, loving the feeling of his head massage. Comfortable silence took over the conversation until you felt Damians hand stop.

You looked up at him, confusion on your face, “Something wrong, Dami?”

The teen shook his head, “No, I was just thinking.”

“About?” You pushed.

“Kissing you.” He said bluntly.

Face turning red, you gave out another ‘Oh.’ You sat up once more, turning your body to face him.

“Can I?”

Instead of using your words this time, you lightly placed your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him close, sealing your lips together.

Little did the two of you know, up in the second story study stood Bruce, smiling down at his son from the window.

#damian wayne #older!damian wayne #older!damian wayne x reader #older! damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x reader #batman imagine #batman x reader #batfamily #batfamily imagine #batman

[multifandombookstore]

Evil Russians

Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader Genre: angst, fluff, smut Warnings: SPOILERS FOR SEASON THREE, evil Russians being evil, smutty fun time  Summary: After secretly liking each other for so long, it’s only fair that they confess after being held captive by evil Russians. 

As a senior in high school, I’d say I’ve accomplished quite a bit. I mean, I can’t really tell anyone about these accomplishments but they happened and I feel, well, accomplished.

It is a little weird being friends with middle schoolers, but they’re very cool middle schoolers! 

Anyway, now everything is calm and peaceful. Plus, it’s summer! Summer is literally the best. Though, I had to get a job. And, of course, the king himself helped me to get a job. Scoops Ahoy is actually pretty chill, literally and figuratively. 

The best part is I get to hang out with Steve, my crush since freshman year. 

I’ve been best friends with Nancy since we were practically in diapers. We grew up together, seeing as how I live across the street. When she and Steve started to become a thing, my heart was practically ripped from my chest. 

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I have feelings for it. Mainly because my heart is no longer in my chest because it’s been ripped out. 

Thanks to her though, Steve and I became friends. So, I guess I can thank her in that aspect. 

When they broke up though, I had never been happier. I couldn’t tell them that though, but I was. We were all still a team though, working to defeat evil. 

When Nancy got with Jonathon, I finally told her about my feelings for Steve. She felt like a jerk but I told her it wasn’t her fault, seeing as how I never told her till now how I felt about him. I’m just glad I have someone to go to when I want to rant about Steve. 

Anyway, Steve got me the job and we’ve only gotten closer. Plus, I gained Robin as a new best friend. Steve lowkey hates it but I don’t care. Robin is really cool and I don’t see why he can’t see that. 

As of right now, Scoops Ahoy is as chill as ever. Steve and I are on our break right now, hiding in the back and eating ice cream. Steve gets up and starts to head to the front when he hears a familiar voice, his face lighting up. He slams the door open and shouts, “Henderson!”

I quickly stand up as well, dashing upfront with a big grin. 

“You got the job!” 

“I got the job!”

“Toothless!” I screech as I appear upfront, running to him to hug him. He groans as he returns the hug, playfully scowling at me. 

“I told you not to call me that anymore,” he whines as he pulls away, smiling as Steve comes up to do their handshake. 

I giggle and shake my head, going around the counter to get him some ice cream for the munchkin. “How many children are you friends with?” Robin teases Steve. I snort and playfully elbow her as I start to scoop ice cream up for Dustin. 

We then all sit down in a booth, Dustin beaming as I hand him his ice cream. “You’re a goddess,” he whispers to me, licking his lips as he eyes the ice cream before digging in. 

He then starts telling us about his girlfriend, my heart soaring for the little dude. Things take a turn when he starts telling us about the Russians. I was intrigued instantly.

Steve was not though. He had trouble believing such a thing, despite what he’s seen and done. That is until Dustin started telling him that they’d be American heroes and get all the girls they want. I hide my frown by eating some of Dustin’s ice cream which he didn’t mind at all. 

That’s when the chaos issued. We spied around the mall looking for suspicious people, following one dude who ended up just being a pilates instructor or something. 

We then started to decipher the message that the Russians were using to talk in secret code. Man, without me, they’d be completely lost and would’ve gotten nowhere.

We then got the annoying girl to climb into a vent and let us into the storage unit the evil Russians are using. That ended up being an elevator. And that ended up trapping us underground. 

Then, one thing led to another and now, I’m tied up in a room by myself. 

I don’t bother shouting for help, knowing it’s pointless. A general came in and started to interrogate me, trying to ask who I work for and basic kidnapping the enemy questions. Not to brag or anything, but I’m a great liar. I told them, unknowingly, exactly what Steve told them. 

With each lie, they slap me across the face. I bite back my tears, laughing instead to appear strong. Or crazy. Either is fine in this situation. Eventually, they had enough of me and left, probably to interrogate Steve. 

After sitting in the uncomfortable chair for who knows how long, two men come back into the plain room and pick me up. They then continue to drag me to a different room, throwing me into it. Luckily for me, and not so lucky for Steve, I land on top of him. 

Not that he would’ve felt it, seeing as how he’s knocked out. My heart breaks at the sight of his swollen face and all the blood. I call his name as I lightly shake him, feeling myself on the verge of tears. 

As soon as the general comes in, I start to yell at him, asking him what he did to Steve. He slaps me across the face for the nth time, my already lightly bruised and red cheek feeling the sharp sting. 

A man then picks me up, practically throwing me into a chair and starting to tie us up. I struggle as I call out to Steve. 

“Steve! Steve, can you hear me? Steve, wake up! Hey, don’t touch him!”

The men leave after I spit in the general’s face, smiling cheekily at him. As soon as they’re gone, I start trying to wake up Steve again.

He wakes up eventually, my body relaxing a bit knowing he’s okay. “Steve! Oh, thank god! Okay, I have a plan!”

He smiles to himself, lightly shaking his head. You always have a plan. 

I explain the plan to him, hearing him agree that getting the scissors is smart. We start to hop over towards them before falling over, my eyes tearing up.

This is hopeless. We are legit going to die. Here of all places. After everything we’ve been up against. This is what kills us.

My body starts to shake as I cry, biting my lip hard to try and get me to stop. 

Steve starts to laugh, turning his head to try and look at me. “Are you laughing?” he asks while chuckling. 

I then sniffle, his laughter instantly dying. 

“Hey, woah. What’s with the tears, Shortcake?” he says lightly. I smile at the pet name, my crying calming a bit. He started calling me that for two reasons. 

1. I’m shorter than him 

2. Strawberry Shortcake is my favorite ice cream flavor to eat while working  

“It’s just...I can’t believe I’m going to die in an evil Russians’ basement with you. After everything we’ve been through. That’s just insane.”

He chuckles a bit, shaking his head. “We aren’t going to die here. As you said, we’ve been up against much, much worse.”

I calm down at the sound of his voice, biting my lip. “Can you...talk some more?” I whisper, sniffling again.

Steve goes quiet and I start to blush. That’s so stupid. I go to tell him sorry and that I’m stupid when he starts to talk. 

“Do you remember in gym class when the boys were playing basketball and that stupid Hargrove guy kept smacking the ball out of my hand and shoving me to the floor?”

I sniffle once more and nod my head, wishing I could wipe my face. “Yeah, why?” I ask softly. 

He laughs as he starts to shake his head, smiling as he recalls the day. 

“After the game was over, you marched right up to Hargrove and challenged him to a one on one game. Everyone thought you were way out of your league. You only played basketball in sixth grade and absolutely hated it. But you challenged him anyway.”

I close my eyes and picture it, remembering it like it was yesterday. 

“You said whoever gets a basket first wins. He was so cocky, smirking at you as he stared down at you with his stupid, flirty eyes.”

You laugh at the last part, feeling much better than before. 

“One of his ugly friends through the ball up for you both. Billy didn’t even bother jumping. He just let you get the ball, smirking that horrible smirk of his. As soon as you started running towards your goal, he followed after you.” 

You start to smile more, waiting for the climax of the story. 

“He ran in front of you when you reached the free-throw line, jumping to block your shot. Your sly self faked the jump and then jumped as he came down. You shot that ball right into the net and left everyone speechless. You then sashayed away from him with a proud smirk on your face, right over to me.” 

I let out a happy sigh, reminiscing on the face Billy had when I faked him out and made the shot. 

“It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen you do.” 

I instantly go speechless at that, my jaw hanging open. “That, out of all things, is the hottest? What about when I took your spiked bat from you and hit the Demogorgon right in the face? That did nothing to you?”

He laughs loudly at your response, nodding his head even though you can’t see him. “No, no. That’s hot too. I can’t brag to people about that though.”

He once again renders me speechless. Does he brag about me to people? When I don’t give him a response, he keeps going. 

“(Y/n), there’s something I’ve been mea—”

Just then, the evil Russians return with their doctor. They give us some weird looking blue shot and then leave again. Steve and I sit there for a long moment, trying to figure out if we feel any different.

That’s when we start acting like crackheads on steroids. 

“You know earlier when I called you hot?” Steve asks while giggling like a fool.

I giggle and nod my head, laughing harder when I remember that he can’t see me. 

“Yeah,” I say after I calm down my laughter. 

“Yeah, well, you’re like really hot,” Steve says as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever said in his life. 

I giggle at his words, finding him absolutely ridiculous. “Oh yeah? Well, I think you’re insanely hot,” I argue. 

He calms his laughter to chuckling to reply to me. “Yeah, well, I think you’re, like, crazy hot.” 

It then goes back and forth like that until we are interrupted again. The general and his men come back, trying to ask us questions again. We once again give them nothing, only angering the general more. 

Alarms then start to go off. I can already tell that Steve is smirking up at the general. Everyone except for the doctor runs out. I start to mock the siren, making Steve laugh and the doctor to get annoyed. 

It didn’t take long for Dustin to bust in and shock the doctor, sending him crippling to the ground. 

“Henderson!” Steve shouts happily at the same time I call out, “Toothless!” 

The young boy then goes about rescuing us, bringing us to a movie theater. I happily munch on the popcorn as we watch the movie, completely confused as to what is going on. I go to take a drink of the soda we got when I realize it’s empty. 

Steve drank it all. 

“Stevie!” I whine too loudly, making people shush us. Steve and I turn around and shush the people right back, making us giggle. I then get up to go get something else to drink, Steve following right after me. I drink from the water fountain for what felt like forever until Steve was complaining that he wants some too. 

I pull away and step to the side, allowing Steve to drink from the fountain. He pulls away after a moment and complains that he has to pee. I snort at him as we walk to the restrooms, saying dumb stuff on the way. 

I sit in one of the stalls as he pees, making fun of him for the way it sounds. Out of nowhere, we both feel sick. I lean over the toilet and empty my insides into it, hearing Steve doing the same thing. I groan as I hold my head, flushing the toilet. Steve didn’t sound any better than I did. 

Once we start to feel better, we start to talk again. We mainly talked about all the stupid stuff we said while drugged. We laugh afterward, eventually calming down and falling silent. 

“Hey, (Y/n),” Steve calls softly from his stall. 

I look up towards his stall as if I can see him. “Yeah?”

It’s silent for another minute until he speaks. “I don’t know if you remember or not...but back in the evil Russians’ basement, we kept going back and forth about how the other is hotter. Um...”

He trails off again, making me frown. I can feel a blush settling on my cheeks at the memory, mentally moving that memory to my longterm memory. I never want to forget that moment. 

“Before the evil dudes came back, I was going to tell you something,” he says softly. I remain quiet for a long time, my heart starting to race. Is this going where I think it’s going? 

“(Y/n), I like you,” he whispers so softly that I have to strain my ears to hear it. My jaw unhinges to the floor I’m sitting on, staring at the stall wall in shock. I almost yelp when he suddenly slides under the wall, looking at me with furrowed brows as he waits for my response. 

I guess I take too long because he quickly starts to back-peddle, a dark, embarrassed blush coming to his face. “Oh, uh, sorry! Please ignore that. Oh jeez, sorry. I-”

“Harrington, shut it. If we both didn’t just puke up our intestines, I’d kiss you right now.” That definitely makes him stop rambling, a wide grin coming to his face. 

“Can I kiss you anyways? I’ve been dying to kiss you for the longest time,” he begs. Your nose wrinkles as you stand, dusting yourself off before offering him a hand. He takes it and you help pull him up as you respond. 

“Not happening, pretty boy. As soon as we brush our teeth, I’m all yours. Until then, how about a hug?” I offer. 

He grins brighter than the sun as he quickly wraps his arms around my shoulders, my arms going around his waist. We start to crack up when someone comes into the restroom and sees us standing in the open stall hugging. 

Once we defeat the mind flayer, a heavy weight left my body. We defeated a new enemy, hopefully for good this time, and Steve and I confessed to each other. 

I don't think I've ever felt happier. Steve insists on taking me home after the ambulance checks us out, giving us permission to go home. I accept, wanting to fall asleep in his arms. 

Unlike Nancy's parents, my parents are pretty chill and don't care that I have a boy up in my room. They trust me, so they trust my decisions. They just want him to be gone by a certain time and to keep the door open, but other than that, they don't really care. 

I let Steve take a shower in my shower while I go to take a shower in my parent's room. Before I go to take mine though, I get some of my dad's clothes for Steve to borrow. I let him use his pajama pants, that have strings that he can tie tight seeing as how they are two completely different sizes, and a random, old shirt. 

I come back to my room and set the clothes on the bed for him, letting Steve know before going to take my shower. Halfway through my shower, I curse myself for being so dumb.

I got Steve a change of clothes but forgot my own. Gosh, it's like something out of a cheesy romance movie. 

I finish up with my shower and wrap the towel around my cold body, grunting as I quickly go to my room. My parents are downstairs watching a movie, so I didn't have to worry about them seeing me. 

I just had to worry about Steve.

I was hoping that I could beat him to my room and get dressed before he finished his shower but when I open the door, Steve is fully dressed and lounging on my bed playing on his phone. 

"Man, girls take such long showe- oh..."

My face goes vibrant red as we make eye contact, my heart lurching up to my throat. We stare at each other for a long moment before his eyes starting to wander, looking at the water droplets that are dripping down from my hair onto my bare skin. 

He clears his throat before quickly turning away, rolling over on the bed to give me some privacy. "Sorry," he says softly. I smile at his apology, giggling as I head over towards my dresser. 

"For what?' I tease, getting out pajama shorts. I toss those on the opposite side of the bed before closing that drawer and pulling out another one. I get out a pair of old underwear before pausing, biting my lip. I put them back and pull out a pair of my nice, lacy panties.

Just in case.

Steve starts to stutter at my question, not really sure what he's apologizing for either. I chuckle at his stuttering, walking to my closet and getting a hoodie out. I decided to skip on the bra seeing as how we are just going to be chilling in my bed. 

"I'm just teasing," I reply as I walk to my bed, making sure Steve's back is to me before dropping my towel. I see him tense when he hears the towel, hit the floor. I quickly slip on my panties before slipping on my hoodie, sliding my shorts on last. 

"You're good," I say as I pick up the towel to dry my hair. He slowly rolls over to look up over at me, smiling when he sees me. 

"What?" I ask with my own smile, a blush growing on my face. 

"Nothing, nothing. You just...you're so beautiful," he whispers, smiling like the dork he is. My blush only gets worse, playfully hitting him with my towel. 

"Shut up! You're just trying to get into my pants!" I jokingly shout, making sure to be quiet enough so that my parents don't hear me. He laughs in response, tugging me onto the bed. He pulls me flush against him, smirking down at me. 

"Maybe," he jokes, looking serious as he says it. I stare up at him wide-eyed, trying to think of a good response. With our bodies pressed so closely together, I began to wonder if he could feel my pounding heart against him. 

Before I can think of anything a moment more, his lips meet mine. All coherent thoughts leave my mind after that. I hum into the kiss, slowly deepening it. He hums back when he feels my tongue slide out, gratefully accepting it into his mouth. 

We make out like that for a while, simply holding each other as we let our mouths explore the other's. After a while, our hands start to wander. His hands slip under my hoodie, staying respectfully on my hips. I internally groan at how much of a gentleman he is, wanting him to take charge and ravish me. 

I pull my hands away from his abdomen to pull his hands to my breasts, moaning when he gets with the program. He flips over me, squeezing my breasts as he pulls away from my mouth to kiss down my neck. I pant as I stare up a the ceiling, trying to wrap my head around the fact that we are actually doing this. The amount of times I've daydreamed in class or have woken up wet from a wet dream of him is ridiculous. 

Finally, those dreams are coming true. 

I moan louder when one of his hands leave my breasts to go to my heat, rubbing me through my panties. He brings his head away from my neck to look down at me, shushing me gently. 

"You have to be quiet, baby. The door is open and I'd rather not be shot by your dad if he catches us in this position."

I nod my head, taking a deep breath as I bite onto my lip. "Have you ever done...this before?" he whispers to me as his fingers rub over my clothed clit. 

I shake my head as I let out a shaky breath, my hands tightly gripping my covers. "No...not with someone else, anyway..." I reply sheepishly. His eyes widen at my words, for many reasons. 

For one, he's glad that he'll be the first one to be with me. Second of all, not with someone else but with...

He smirks devilishly as he pieces it together. "Do you have toys?" he asks in a new tone I've never heard before. It's deeper, darker. 

"I, um, uh..." I stutter out, trying to find a good way to deny his accusations. 

He practically growls as he moves my panties to the side and slips a finger inside of me. "God, I knew you were hot but this is just insane," he says lowly as he pumps his finger. 

"I can imagine you lied out on your bed, pumping one of your toys in and out of y-"

I quickly tig him down to keep me from moaning. Dirty talk is one of my weaknesses. A sound leaves his throat as he slips another finger inside, making me moan against his lips. He takes the chance to slide his tongue into my mouth, his free hand pinching one of my nipples. My head gets dizzy at all the different sensations, my body starting to shake. 

Before I can stop myself or warn him, I'm cumming. I cover my mouth as I do so, knowing I'll end up being loud. 

His eyes widen as he watches me, his fingers slowing down as I clench around them. After a couple of seconds, he feels his fingers get wetter and hears the squelching noise increase as he moves his fingers. 

He pulls his fingers out slowly with wide eyes, watching his fingers retreat from my core. He opens and closes his fingers, watching the strings of my juices drip down his fingers and make his hand even dirtier. 

I watch him with half-lidded eyes, my breathing making my chest rise and fall rapidly. He slowly brings his fingers to his lips, making eye contact with you as he licks at his fingers. 

I can't help but moan, shaking my head as my hips jolt up towards him. I bring my hand to his pants, palming him through his bottoms. He stops licking his fingers at that, grunting as he looks down at my hands. 

He bites his lip as he wipes his hand on his pants before slipping them off. I gape when his member springs free, hitting his abdomen. I forgot he's not wearing any underwear. I mewl at the realization, bringing my hand to his hard member to start pumping it. 

He bites his lip as he watches my hand move, his body tensing. I then bring my hand to my mouth, licking from my palm to my fingers before bringing my hand back. My hand now easily glides up and down, his hips jutting forward occasionally. 

After a couple of minutes of giving him a handjob, he shakily pulls my hand away. He brings his hands to my shorts, looking up at me through his long hair. 

"Can I?" he whispers, voice thick with want. I quickly nod my head, wanting nothing more. He slowly slips my shorts and panties off, groaning at the sight of my dripping heat. 

"God, you can't be real," he groans, pumping his member as he stares at my opening for a moment before looking up into my eyes. 

"Condom?" he whispers, smiling when he sees my flushed cheeks. I always get flustered so easily. I gulp at his question and shake my head, licking my lips. 

"No. I didn't exactly think that I'd be having sex with Steve The-Hair Harrington," I joke, my voice shakey from excitement. His face falls at my words, quietly cursing. 

He starts to pull away from me, okay with doing oral, before I stop him. "Hey," I say softly, bringing his eyes to mine. "I trust you," I whisper.

His eyes widen, his body going rigid. "I...you...what?" I giggle at his stuttering, running my hand through his hair. 

"I trust you. Just, please, don't cum in me," I tease. His face breaks out with color, making me giggle more. He nods his head though and brings his hips down, rubbing his member through my slick to get himself wet enough to not hurt me when he pushes in. 

When he finally does though, both of us can't help but moan. He then starts to thrust nice and slow, wanting it to be slow and sensual for our first time. We smile softly at each other before we start to kiss, this kiss being as slow as his thrusts. 

Even with the slow pace, I cum quickly. I'm not used to this in any way and plus, I've already came once, so I'm sensitive. He moans quietly when he feels me clench around him, knowing I came again. 

He hisses as he gets close, quickly pulling out and jacking off until he cums on my stomach. 

We pant as we stare at each other with lidded eyes, Steve slowly falling to my side. 

"Great. Now, I'll have to shower again," I joke as I cuddle into him, making him chuckle and kiss my forehead. 

MASTERLIST

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things steve #stranger things steve harrington #stranger things imagines #steve harrington imagine #stranger things one shot #steve harrington one shot #stranger things fluff #stranger things requests #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x reader fluff

[seokstrivia]

Euphoria | jjk

❥ Summary; There was always a sign on Jungkooks’ door that said something along the lines of, ‘Warning; I am naked in here. Do not enter unless you're ready to see a whole lot of dick.’   

or, that one roommate au where Jungkook is a cocky bastard.

❥ Roommate!AU | M.list | word count; 7.6k

❥ Jeon Jungkook x Reader; angst, douche Jungkook, enemies to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, slow burn, smut, he’s actually a softie

» He, him, his «

Jungkook was, how you say, a dick. A dick you despised and wanted unquestionably nothing to do with. And yes, you did always hate him, without reason, but hated from the beginning nonetheless.

It all began when you moved into the accommodation for college, your mom helped you unpack then kissed you goodbye, and everything was fine— for five minutes.

Dickwad, also known as, Dickhead and maybe sometimes, douchebag, sauntered into the flat with music blaring out of his, lovely friends’, speaker.

Lovely friend, aka Park Jimin, is, and always will be, an absolute darling you doted on without fail.

Anyways, when Jungkook stepped into the flat as if he owned the damn place, the first thing he did was throw a wink your way and then proceed to claim his bedroom— the very bedroom you claimed first.

Obviously, it was an absolutely ridiculous point to bicker over, but you’d lost it as soon as he called you babe, followed by a prissy princess, to end his absurd argument.

You were absolutely fuming by this point, and the heavy music resonating throughout the flat gave you the biggest headache you’d ever experienced in all the years you’d been alive.

That was when you wordlessly declared your hatred for him. When you decided you were going to make his life a living hell, and when you decided you were going to store lego in his room— just so he could undergo the pain you had to go through.

It wasn’t even good music.

Ever since then, you’ve never liked Jungkook, never wanted anything to do with him and cursed him in your dreams every night— which didn’t seem to work, you definitely needed to purchase a voodoo doll.

» His Friday night «

A yawn parted your lips as you zoned in and out, you were currently attempting to do your homework, but Jungkook— the devils incarnate— was being as loud and intolerable as usual.

He had been on the phone to one of his friends, talking about a party he absolutely had to go to. But it wasn’t unusual, Jungkook made it his priority to go out partying every Friday night, more so, to end up in someone's bed.

The thought itself had you shaking your head in distaste— like a mother disapproving her sons' grades or overall behaviour.

It had a sigh leaving your lips.

Jungkook stepped out of his room in all black: black jeans, black t-shirt, black leather jacket, and to finish off the look, a black cap.

You would be lying if you said he didn’t look good, but that was something that would never leave your lips. He didn’t deserve to know. You cursed yourself for even thinking it.

“I take it you’ll be stuck inside studying like the nerd you are,” Jungkook snorted.

There was a horrible, eye-wrenching smirk on his awful face. Who did this thing think he was?

“At least I’m not sleeping around and giving people aids.”

He jeered in return, a scowl on his face while he pierced into your soul, and presumably, set it alight.

God, you were infuriating.

Jungkook left that night without another word, he didn’t have time to sit and argue with you— which you were extremely thankful for because you were far too stressed to even think about him.

Another sigh broke your lips as your focus fell back on to your textbook. You were failing one of your classes— a class you needed to pass in order to complete the year, however, you didn’t understand anything your lecture taught you.

And what annoyed you, even more, was that Jeon Jungkook, who didn’t attend any of the classes, was passing with flying colours. If anything, your nightly curses were probably backfiring on to you.

You groaned. Life was not being fair. Not at all.

» His banana milk «

Jungkook was annoyed, more than that, he was angry and about to throw the biggest fit at the age of 21.

Yes, it’d really come to this.

His banana milk was missing, no matter how many times he checked the fridge, it wasn’t there. He bought that with his own money.

You stepped out of your bedroom, a chewed up straw perched in your mouth as you continued to scroll through your phone.

All the studying made you feel a bit peckish.

But you couldn’t exactly reach the fridge, or even step into the kitchen, since Jungkook was blocking the way with his oversized muscles.

He took the straw out of your mouth, thoroughly examining it before glaring into your eyes with his fiery red ones— yes, they were actually red. It’s not an exaggeration.

“Can I help you?” You asked in a monotone.

He grumbled under his breath, tossing the straw aside and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Did you drink all of my banana milk?”

Jungkook was never angry, he was bothersome and got annoyed but never angry. Or you just hadn’t experienced his wrath until now.

“Who gave you permission to touch what’s mine?” He continued, his voice getting deeper.

“Why are you getting so worked up over banana milk?”

“Because!” He shouted making you flinch. “Banana milk is the only thing I look forward to every single day. Don’t touch what’s yours.”

Your eyes were wide in shock, he wasn’t the most intimidating guy— not with his bunny smile, but after seeing his true form of red eyes and devil horns, you decided never to touch his banana milk again.

You even bought you a new pack the next day.

» His mess «

There were empty cans everywhere you looked, empty packets of snacks, dirty dishes, as well as, unwashed laundry, and it all belonged to the one and only Jeon Jungkook.

The amount of mess he made was actually insane, there was no one in this world who was as messy or messier than him. It inflicted you with endless headaches and made you feel sick, how could someone live like this?

A lengthy sigh left your lips, it had been a long day at uni, plus you still weren’t passing your failing class, so all in all, it wasn’t going well. And to make matters worse, the flat was a mess.

Thanks, dickhead. I hope you choke on your banana milk, you grumbled.

If there was another place to stay, somewhere you could move to, or someone else you could live with, you would move out in a heartbeat— without so much as a second thought.

But no, luck wasn’t on your side like that.

“You know when you invited me over, I didn’t think it was to help you tidy up,” sassed Jinyoung.

You rolled your eyes at his comment before throwing a dirty sock in his direction. He was utterly appalled and deeply insulted that you’d done that, but you were too busy laughing at him to care.

Jinyoung was your best friend, you’d known him since the beginning of high school, he’d always been there for you, you knew everything about it him, and he knew everything about you— including your satanic shrine set-up to get rid of Jungkook.

He was about to retaliate and launch Jungkooks boxers at you when the front door swung open. Both of you watched Jungkook throw his bag aside before strolling into his room, he didn’t even notice you were there.

“I mean, my couch is always free.”

You snorted at Jinyoungs effort to make you feel better, “you’re so annoying.”

There was a smug expression on your best friends face, his remark successfully annoyed you and he felt great— even though, he truly meant what he said.

You were always more than welcome to stay with him, and you knew that.

Jinyoung helped you tidy up, leaving the pile of unwashed laundry to decay in front of Jungkooks’ door. He would step over them and ignore they were there, you’d seen him do it before, but there was no way in hell you’d do laundry for him.

Cleaning up empty cans and packets was enough.

“Next time, we should dump all the trash on his bed,” Jinyoung remarked before making himself comfortable on your bed.

A laugh split your lips as you handed him his ice cream, “he would either sleep with it or let it rot on the floor.”

“Have you ever been inside his room?”

“No.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Not really...”

Jinyoung hummed in response, now focused on his ice cream instead. He didn’t question you further, because maybe he knew you were just a little, tiny bit, curious to see how it looked.

After minutes of silence and simply appreciating your ice creams, the both of you lay on your bed, doing nothing except staring at the ceiling, saying nothing besides listening to each other’s breathing.

It was peaceful, the nice kind of peace that wasn’t heavy or boring. These kinds of moments with Jinyoung were your favourite, the kind where you could bask in each other’s company without having to say a single word.

You rolled over to face your best friend, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling fan, following the way it twirled endlessly. He was a handsome boy, he was a sassy boy, and he was also a very kind boy, but he was single.

And you sometimes spent hours thinking about why.

“Jinyoung, will you ever get into a relationship?” You asked with sheer curiosity.

His eyebrows furrowed together and the expression of distaste won over his content features, it was quite amusing to watch if you were honest.

He always made the funniest faces without meaning to be funny.

“Does it look like I want to waste my precious time trying to please another human when the only one I need to please is myself?”

Jinyoung could’ve ranted for hours, he could have gone on and on and on about how he doesn’t need anyone. Which is why you changed the subject and spoke about how heavy Yugyeom snored throughout the last lecture.

It had the two of you laughing aloud, bringing tears to the eyes as you both proceeded to simultaneously list the funniest things that have happened.

Being with Jinyoung was better than a lot of things.

“Oh my gosh, did I tell you when Jungkook got angry at me for drinking all his banana milk?” You wheezed.

Jinyoung snorted and burst out laughing, shocked at your roommates' behaviour over milk— and it being banana flavoured.

“Why don’t you threaten to drink all his milk if he doesn’t clean up after himself?”

You quirked an eyebrow at his suggestion, that didn’t seem like a bad idea at all, you thought to yourself. After spending hours on end with Jinyoung, you finally said goodbye to him after telling him to text you when he got home.

Jungkook stepped out of his room when he heard the last goodbye, faltering over the pile of dirty clothes in front of his door, he complained to himself while continuing towards the fridge.

Banana milk!

Silently, with an evil grin on your lips, you trailed behind him, “Jungkook,” you called making him flinch over how close and loud you were. “You gotta start cleaning up after yourself. You’re disgusting.”

He sneered, piercing the carton with his straw, “and if I don’t?”

“If you don’t, I’ll drink all your banana milk.”

There was genuine panic in Jungkooks eyes that night.

» His hoodies «

A yawn broke your lips, eyes drooping at the sound of your lecturers' boring voice. She seemed to go on and on and on about who knows what?

This was the class you were failing, there was no time for you to be falling asleep, but you couldn’t help it, she was so dull and it was hard to concentrate.

Jinyoung who was seated next to you was too busy throwing paper balls at a fast asleep Yugyeom, he didn’t care about this class either, but he was failing like you.

You huffed to yourself, resting your chin on your hand which was hidden under your sleeve. Well, it wasn’t your sleeve per se, it wasn’t your hoodie to begin with.

It was Jungkooks’. His loss though, right?

Okay, so maybe, just maybe, you stole it, but he hadn’t noticed yet, it’d been three days and he hadn’t even asked if you’d seen it anywhere.

Therefore, no harm is done.

“I gotta ask again,” Jinyoung whispered while rolling another paper ball. “Why did you steal his hoodie if you want absolutely nothing to do with him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you retaliated in a loud enough whisper.

Jinyoung snorted, throwing another ball at his friend.

What you didn’t notice, and your best friend did, was the way Jungkook had been staring at you, attempting to figure out where he’d seen the hoodie you were wearing.

Good thing he wasn’t that smart, Jinyoung shook his head before focusing on packing his things and leaving the lecture hall with you in tow.

➴➶➴➶

You were humming a tune to yourself in the kitchen while preparing a sandwich, something light to munch on while you studied— or at least tried to.

Jungkook came behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see what you were doing before ‘accidentally’ knocking your elbow.

“Oh! Sorry,” he exaggerated when he heard you gasp. “I didn’t see you there.”

A scowl crossed your features when the words left his lips, he was so, so, so, irritating. You hated him, you hated him, you really really hated him.

“You did that on purpose,” it was a swift argument back. “You’re such a dick.”

Jungkook snorted, standing tall with his eyes piercing down into yours, “always bringing my dick into any situation you can, aren’t you?” He tsk’d. “I’m not the one going around steal other people’s belongings.”

“What—“

“First my banana milk and now my clothes. What next, hm? I bet you would’ve stolen my virginity too if I was still a virgin.”

God, he was so infuriating.

“As if I would ever have sex with you.”

Jungkook leant in, bringing his face level to yours, his lips merely inches away, eyes staring darkly into yours and his warm breath melting into your skin.

He was so close. Too close.

“Liars go to hell, princess.”

You gulped. There was a definite glint you’d never seen in his eyes before— in anyone’s eyes. It wasn’t scary but it made you feel something you’d not felt in a long time.

Arousal.

“I’ll let you keep this hoodie since it looks good on you,” he spoke up again, but his voice was still low and very deep. “However, if I notice you take something else, I won’t let you off so easily.”

He left you with an unfamiliar and wet warmth that night.

» His revenge «

A loud groan parted your lips, the thought of studying for another hour was hurting your head. Three hours had to be enough, for now, right?

You turned to glance at your alarm clock which sat on your bedside table, next to your phone that had been buzzing constantly for the past half an hour. Jinyoung.

It was 8:33pm. A good time as any for a snack.

After stretching your very rigid muscles, you bounced off your chair and happily made way to the kitchen. Jungkook was in his room, probably wanking off or something, so he couldn’t bother you right now.

Not even the horrible weather could put you in a bad mood.

However, however, however, you couldn’t find your snacks anywhere. They were normally kept in a box on the bottom shelf in an empty cupboard, but that box, which was on the bottom shelf, was empty.

There was nothing inside it, and there definitely should’ve been because you bought so many new snacks the night before.

Honestly, you could’ve cried. Feeling irritation, anger, as well as, sadness, you stormed towards Jungkooks room and pounded on the door, ignoring the warning sign taped on the wood.

“Jungkook!” You whined. “I never touched your banana milk again, why did you steal all my snacks?! How could you?”

There was a genuine sad pout on your face when he swung the door open, he would’ve felt bad if it were someone else, but it was you, and you hated him, so why should he feel any sympathy towards you?

“You can always buy more tomorrow,” he told you.

“I can’t afford to,” you fought, not with anger, but sadness. “Those snacks were supposed to last me two weeks, you ate them all in one night.”

Jungkook shrugged.

“It’s just a bit selfish, isn’t it?”

You’d mumbled it quietly, not really wanting him to hear, but he’d heard and he tried so hard not to feel guilty.

After stammering an apology for bothering him, you gradually progressed towards your room, leaving Jungkook to think about what he’d done.

» His punishment «

You were extremely annoying, continually having something to say back to him, always bickering with him, and calling him names, but never, not once, did you ignore him.

Over the months of living together, he figured out you hated him, but you didn’t pretend he didn’t exist, you didn’t ignore his presence, no. You bothered him and cursed him out and made sure his life was living hell.

Of course, Jungkook was extremely annoyed at you for being so irritating, but he enjoyed the bickering. Albeit he’d never tell you.

He groaned at another failed attempt at getting your attention. You were sitting on the floor trying to do your homework, head resting on the coffee table, doing your utmost best to ignore the monster behind you.

Jungkook genuinely wanted you to bicker back with him, although he didn’t really know why he wanted your attention, he just knew he wanted something.

“Y/n,” he whined, foot nudging your thigh closest to him. “Please argue back with me.”

Ignoring him was harder than you thought, you were so used to instantaneously throwing an insult back that you had to mentally tape your mouth shut.

Jungkook gave up that night, it was no use. He was basically talking to a brick wall. Leaving you study by yourself, he left with an exhalation.

You watched him with a triumphant smile, but you felt as though you missed out on something.

» His turn «

It was raining, but you couldn’t hear the pitter patter like you normally could. There was a movie playing on your computer, but you couldn’t hear the dialogue like you should’ve been able to.

All because of Jeon Jungkook and his stupid loud, extremely bad music.

A groan withdrew from your lips (which you couldn’t even hear) as you let yourself drop back into your pillows. If you weren’t still ignoring him or at least trying to, you would’ve body-slammed him out of the window.

You must’ve done something awful in your past life if you were being forced to live like this now, you uttered to yourself as you stormed towards his room.

Jungkook was overdue a long list of insults.

There was no point in banging on his door since he wouldn’t be able to hear you, you couldn’t even hear yourself breathe. So, for the first time since living with him, you barged in.

Wrong move...

He was in nothing but his boxers, sure he wasn’t naked, but he wasn’t exactly fully clothed either.

The sight in front of you, however, wasn’t a disturbing one. The way his back was propped on his headboard, the way his eyes focused on his comic book, the way his head bopped to the song, it was all notably attractive... for some reason.

Jungkook glanced up and saw you staring at him in shock, a smirk would’ve propelled its way to his lips, but he was annoyed that you’d been ignoring him, more so, that you barged into his room without knocking— he would never do that to you.

Turning down the volume, he sat up, “can I help you?”

You swallowed at the hoarse sound of his voice, what was going on with you right now? Why was he suddenly so attractive? Wait, was he always this good-looking?

“Your music is too loud,” you mumbled.

Jungkook rolled his eyes and paused the song before getting off his bed, and advancing towards you with a glare on his face.

He stared down at you, arms crossed, “it’s off, you happy now?”

You nodded your head, eyes gazing intensely into his. If he wasn’t so bothersome, if he didn’t aggravate you and if you didn’t despise him. You were 100% certain you would’ve fallen in love with him.

Jungkook snorted at the expression on your face, his features softening as he tousled your hair before gently closing the door.

There was a funny feeling in your chest when you went to sleep that night, followed by a funny feeling in your chest when you woke the next morning.

There was a basket of snacks perched neatly in front of your door, a note hidden beneath a box of chocolates, Jungkook was seriously out for your heart.

» 2 drunks, 1 mistake «

It wasn’t unlike you to give up studying, but it was unlike you to say yes to a party Jinyoung wanted to go to with you. He was surprised you’d given in so easily, but, over the moon, he didn’t need to beg you.

“Are you planning on getting wasted?” Jinyoung snorted as he observed you tan another drink.

He raised an eyebrow, watching you shake your head in distaste to the strong taste. Alcohol wasn’t your favourite, but it did its bit to encourage you to have fun.

You gradually began to let yourself go as the drink within you gave you a step of confidence. Jinyoung watched you dance in amusement, plastic red cup in one hand while his other held his phone, recording you at that moment.

A smile presented a way to your lips when you twisted around and spotted his phone. The flash gave away the fact he was recording, maybe on snapchat to post on his story, maybe something to laugh about the next day; whatever it was, you didn’t care.

“Jinyoung, dance with me,” you urged, motioning for him to join you with your hand.

He shook his head, not because he didn’t want to dance, but because he wasn’t drunk enough to deal with you right now. However, he was enjoying the sight of you completely losing yourself and finally, after a long time, giving in to have fun.

Jungkook was on the other side of the room, drunk himself, seeing you have fun without him. It didn’t take long for him to muster up the courage to approach you, not when the alcohol was giving him a helping hand.

“Y/n,” he cheered, gaining your attention. “Let’s dance!”

Without so much as a second thought, you began dancing with him. Eyes wavy and mind hazy, the night went on with Jungkook by your side.

It wasn’t until your back hit the cold wall, you felt Jungkooks’ warm hands wander your body. His lips were on your neck, wet and slick, your hands were pulling his hair, urging him to go faster, to hurry up and stop teasing you.

“Jungkook,” you moaned earning a growl in return.

He stopped his ministrations on your neck, and led you towards his room, pushing you to lay on the bed while he stripped out of his t-shirt, threw his jeans aside and then crawled towards you.

Jungkook kissed you slowly but intoxicatingly, his hand moved down your form and glid under your dress, exploring and touching everywhere except where you needed him to touch you.

“Jungkook,” you muttered against his lips. “Please stop teasing me.”

His eyes were dark and glazed as he stared into yours with so much lust, want and need. An exhalation escaped your lips when he connected his lips back to your neck, hand slipping into your pants, taunting your clit.

You heaved at the ministration, writhing beneath him, silently asking for more. For anything, for something. He removed his hand, pulling your dress up along with his hand that progressed towards the back, reaching for the zip.

“Take it off,” he whispered in your ear in a low growl. “Let me see you.”

Your breathing got heavier as you watched him sit up, allowing you to move and take off your uncomfortable dress. Just like that, in slow and precise movements, the dress slipped off and hit the floor.

The alcohol from earlier was still evidently in your system, otherwise, you would have never crawled towards Jungkook and drawn him for an intoxicating and needy kiss.

Jungkook pushed you to lie down again,  so he was on top, so he could assert dominance and let you know that he was in charge and always will be.

It didn’t bother you, not when he knew what he was doing; when he was so confident in the way his hand wandered down your body, towards your heat.

Another moan parted your lips, music to Jungkooks ear. He decided there and then, after hearing you call out his name breathlessly into the night, that it would be his favourite sound.

“I bet you thought you about me every night,” he muttered in a deep, drunken, voice.

You could only nod your head, afraid that your words would get stuck in your throat due to the pleasure he was causing you.

There was no uncertainty in Jungkooks’ movements when he slipped a finger and then another into your heat, he revelled in your moans and whines, urging you to get louder the faster he pumped his digits in and out.

His free hand played with your breast, his lips nipping the skin, forcing you to squirm under his ministrations, it felt so good— amazing even, but you wanted more, needed more.

“Jungkook,” you gasped out, pulling at his hair to gain his attention. “Please, just fuck me already.”

There was a smirk on his face, a glint in his eyes as if he’d been anticipating for you to say those words. As much as he loved teasing you to no extent, he needed to feel you, to be inside you just the way he dreamt about.

He didn’t hesitate to pull off his boxers, to yank your pants down your legs, to line himself off and without a single warning, push himself deep inside.

Jungkook left you feeling breathless that night, he had you coming undone more than once and he left you feeling fully satisfied as he came deep inside.

No other words were exchanged when he drew you into his chest and lulled you to sleep with beating heart and warm body.

» The aftermath «

The next morning you woke up sweating, you had a sore head and felt sick to your stomach, forcing yourself out of bed and rushing to the closest bathroom. You heaved but nothing came out as your head hung in the toilet and your naked form sat on the cold tiled floor.

The night before was all a haze, and trying to remember what happened while sitting next to the toilet wasn’t a good idea. However, it all hit you when you stepped out of the bathroom; into the room that wasn’t yours.

You felt yourself break into a cold sweat, your eyes scanning the room before settling on a familiar face— another body just as naked as yours.

The sick feeling hurried back, but it wasn’t because of the alcohol, no, this time it was regret and the fear of allowing yourself to become another girl on Jungkooks list.

What had you done?

➴➶➴➶

Jungkook went on as if everything was normal; as if nothing had happened. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, not when you were sinking in newly developed feelings for the male who didn’t believe in commitment.

An agitated sigh parted your lips, you couldn’t sleep, not when the drunken night with Jungkook played on loop whenever you closed your eyes. Fortunately, Jinyoung was nice enough to let you stay the night at his, but you couldn’t stay here forever.

“Are you ever going to speak to him about this?” Jinyoung inquired, examining the dark circles under your eyes from no sleep.

There was a frown on your face when you turned to look at your best friend, “how can I?” You disputed. “He’s acting as if nothing happened, Jinyoung. You don’t understand, Jungkook doesn’t do relationships.”

“Ignore him then.”

A scoff left your lips, that was easier said than done you thought.

“I can’t,” you told him, eyes cast aside.

“Then confess.”

This time you met his intense and challenging gaze, “just because I know that Jungkook likes to drink banana milk after uni, or that he likes to eat cereal at 3am after gaming because he feels peckish, doesn’t mean I like him,” you were out of breath, heart racing as you spoke.

Jinyoung snickered in return. You gulped.

» The regret «

It was pouring while you waited for your roommate to get home. After speaking to Jinyoung, you decided he was right and you couldn’t keep pretending that you were okay.

The front door slammed shut, interrupting you from your thoughts. Jungkook kicked off his shoes and threw his soaked jacket aside. His hair was wet, and there was a frown on his face, but he looked as cute as ever.

He didn’t notice you were back home, not until you stood up and muttered his name. His eyes widened at the sight before him, you’d left without a single word and came back three days later as if it was a reasonable thing to do.

“Where have you been?” He demanded.

Jungkook was angry.

“I stayed over at Jinyoungs.”

He shook his head in disapproval before running a hand through his dripping hair. The feeling still lingered in your own hand from that night as you watched his movements.

“And you didn’t bother to tell me because?”

You licked your lips, eyes meeting his dark ones, “I’ve never had to tell you before,” you fought. “Why does it matter now?”

“You’ve never been gone for three days.”

His tone was getting louder, angrier and more irritated. But you were becoming angry too; who did he think was? Especially acting as if nothing had happened between you two.

“You’re not my boyfriend, Jungkook. I don’t need to tell you anything, it’s not like I expect you to tell me when you’ll be home after a night out,” you said, eyes gazing intensely into his. “Now let me ask you something, is it fun to act like everything between us is normal? You know very well why I disappeared for days.”

Jungkook scoffed, arms crossed over his broad chest as if asserting dominance, “we had sex, so what? Everyone has drunk sex now and then.”

“I’m not everyone, you asshole!” You shouted. “I don’t go around having sex with every girl and guy I see. You’re the second person I’ve ever had sex with, I know it’s not a big deal to you but, it means a whole lot to me.”

Jungkook licked his lips.

“You wanted to have sex with me just as much as I did with you. Don’t blame all this on me.”

“I’m not! Don’t you get it? I’m in love with you!”

It came out before you could think twice about saying it, the words slipped out in anger, you really didn’t mean to say it. But now that it was out in the open, there was no point in taking it back, so you waited; waited for Jungkook to speak.

Instead, however, he uncrossed his arms and cast his eyes aside. Your heart dropped into your stomach and you felt sick, dizzy almost as you watched him hesitate.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t do relationships.”

» The awkwardness «

Jinyoung was trying his best to be there for you, you were struggling to pass the one class you hated and Jungkook was, well, avoiding you at all cost.

A yawn escaped your lips, it was becoming harder to keep your eyes open as minutes slowly turned into hours. If you decided to call it a night and go to sleep, you would never pass your exam.

At that moment, you really wanted to scream and cry. Shout at the world for not being on your side since the beginning of the school year, why was it so hard on you? What did you do wrong?

An exhausted cry left your lips while you slumped back in your seat. The words in the textbook stopped making sense hours ago, Jinyoung was no longer awake to help you and you had no one else to turn to.

Feeling extremely agitated, you closed the book and hurled it away from you, almost hitting Jungkook while doing so. He stared at the textbook by his feet and chuckled to himself before glancing at a very distraught you.

“Are you struggling that much?”

His voice was soft and somewhat comforting, but it was awkward and you couldn’t bring yourself to glance at him, so you hesitantly nodded your head instead.

There was a kind smile on his lips that you missed when he sat down next to you. Not too close because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but close enough to help you.

“What do you need help with?” He urged placing the textbook back on the table.

You sighed in defeat, “everything.”

Without hesitation, Jungkook started from the beginning and helped simplify the text. He made it easier to understand, besides the awkward silences that took place in between, you began to understand what you once didn’t.

And thanks to Jungkook, you were confident when it was time to sit the exam. Safe to say, you finally passed the class you hated as much as you once hated your roommate.

Although it was still very awkward between you, Jungkook stopped avoiding you. He didn’t say much— not like he used to, but you didn’t make an effort either since you still had a lot on your mind.

Still, things were getting better.

» The silent reconciliation «

You were lying on the floor with the balcony door wide open, the cool air from outside wasn’t enough to stop you from over-heating as the sun beamed through the window.

The weather got nicer as the days passed by, summer vacation was just around the corner and you knew you would have nothing to do. So, you decided to mope around earlier rather than later, Jinyoung wasn’t too impressed when you told him.

“You’re not a cat,” he told you.

“You can’t do that all summer,” he said.

A shake in disagreement had him rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

There were crumbs littered around you with empty packets of crisps and cans. A smile adorned your face as you watched the male lead finally kiss the female.

Jungkook entered the flat to you on the floor, surrounded by a mess and a grin on your face. The drama you were watching wasn’t even that good, he grimaced hearing one of the many cheesy lines.

He proceeded towards the fridge to get his banana milk before settling into the couch; to join you. To enjoy your company for once instead of locking himself in his room.

“How can you watch that without cringing?”

Jungkooks’ question made you laugh, you sat up to look at him and shrugged your shoulders. There was something about the way you smiled at him to the way you crawled towards him to sit on the couch.

Jungkook gulped.

He didn’t even notice you were wearing nothing but an oversized shirt— an old one that once belonged to him.

“It’s not too bad, you get used to it actually.”

Jungkook glimpsed at you from the side of his eye before focusing back on the tv. Your confession was still fresh in his mind, playing like a broken record over and over again.

You never mentioned it again, mainly because he avoided you for like a week and you found it too awkward to talk to him. But things seemed to be okay now, he thought.

“What do you like to watch anyway?” You asked, shifting to look at him.

Jungkook was surprised by your question, but thinking about it, neither of you knew anything about the other.

“Iron man,” he told you.

A laugh parted your lips at his response, the way he said it with such an innocent face made him look like a child. It was cute.

Silence took place once your focus was back on the tv, there was nothing much to say or talk about. You’d never spent time like this together, although it was nice, it wasn’t normal.

You licked your lips, mind full of thoughts and such as you got off the couch. Perhaps, you still felt a little bit uncomfortable around him, not because he was sitting next to you, but because your confession was gnawing at your mind like a parasite.

“Where are you going?” Came his question.

It took a lot in you to turn around and stare at him, to make eye contact and to fake a smile. Fortunately, it didn’t take him long to catch on, to think about what he asked and awkwardly avoid eye contact.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” was your response. “It’s still a little bit difficult to be around you. I just need some time for things to go back to normal.”

What if I don’t want that, he thought to himself. What if he didn’t want things to go back to normal, what would you say then?

“But,” you added with a genuine smile this time. “I think I like this better— being friends instead of constantly bickering.”

Jungkooks’ smile in return was just as genuine.

» A new friend «

“UNO!”

Grumbling in irritation of possibly losing another round, you picked up 4 cards and then internally cried when you watched Jungkook throw down his last card.

There was a frown on your face when you threw your nine cards in his direction. When Jungkook suggested playing Uno you didn’t think you would lose every single game.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” you pouted.

That night Jungkook learnt you disliked losing.

➴➶➴➶

One hit. Two. Three more.

Six.

“Y/n, stop throwing popcorn at me and watch the damn movie,” he laughed when you hit him again.

There was a mischievous grin on your face, he wasn’t paying attention as his eyes were back on the tv. You took this as an opportunity to take a handful of popcorn and propel it at him, Jungkook shouted your name before chasing after you.

That night Jungkook learnt you got bored easily.

➴➶➴➶

You were in Jungkooks’ room, he had his last class today so he wasn’t home. Not yet, anyway. So, you took that as your chance to invade his closet for another hoodie, another black one.

When he got home you were still going through each hoodie, narrowing it down to three and then two and then choosing the one you liked best. Although all of them looked the same, there was a different comfort to each of them.

Jungkook had banana milk in his hand, straw in his mouth as he observed you from his doorway. There was a wide grin on his face while he watched you try the last one on.

“Are you seriously stealing my clothes again?”

You pursed your lips, preferring the last one you tried on better than any of the others and then smiled in triumph.

“At least it’s not your banana milk,” you teased before sliding off to your room.

That night Jungkook learnt you liked his hoodies better than your own.

➴➶➴➶

You lay your head on Jungkooks’ shoulder, a yawn broke your lips as you attempted to stay awake. It had been a long day, and you were exhausted.

Especially since Jungkooks’ loud friend had woken you up so early, Namjoon was his name you think, or was it Taehyung? You couldn’t quite remember.

It didn’t matter though, you would be in your bed soon, you just needed to wait for Jungkook; he wanted to say bye to his friends before leaving the party youse were currently at.

However, they were nowhere to be seen.

“Jungkook,” you muttered earning his attention. “I’ll head home, you can stay a little longer and hang out with your friends.”

His eyebrows furrowed in thought, “are you sure?”

“Of course!”

There was a smile on your face, a genuine one at that, but you did feel a little sad that you two weren’t walking back home together. No matter, you’d see him the next morning considering you lived together. Duh.

Jungkook watched you stand up and stretch your arms, he missed your warmth already. He let you gather your things, sliding on your jacket before reaching for your bag.

Luckily, it wasn’t a big party and just a friendly get together to celebrate the end of the school year. Well, one of many yet to come.

“I’ll give Jinyoung a call and talk to him on my walk home, that way it’ll feel like a faster walk,” you said before heading towards the door.

Jungkook hesitated for a second, glancing around in quick movements his friends really were nowhere to be seen at that moment, so he thought what the heck, and rushed after you.

You were surprised to see him, considering he was eager to say bye to his friends since they were going back home for summer break and he wasn’t.

“I promised you we would walk home together,” he explained before you could question him. “Let’s go.”

That night you learnt that either Jungkook kept his promises, or you meant a whole lot more to him than you thought.

» Euphoria «

There was a soft smile on your face, mind zoning in and out as your eyes slipped closed every few seconds before you opened them once again.

It was a nice evening, Jungkook thought as he admired you from his place on the love-seat. You were on the floor, leaning against the balcony railing, appreciating the view, savouring the nice weather and listening to the bustling city.

The idea of spending the rest of the evening on the balcony was your idea, Jungkook merely agreed because he had nothing better to do, except drink banana milk, and right now, spending time with you deemed sweeter.

There was a smile on lips as he appreciated your features from his seat. The setting sun, golden with soft hues of oranges, hit off your face perfectly making it seem as if you were glowing.

Jungkook felt his heart beating loudly in his chest, drumming in ears and spinning in his mind while he thought about you and your confession.

Was it too late to bring it up? Maybe, maybe not.

You turned around to face Jungkook, smiled wide and genuine before moving to stand in between his legs. He thought you were beautiful when you smiled without a reason; when you smiled at him and for him.

He thought you were most beautiful when you were yourself, not caring a single bit about what others thought of you.

“Jungkook, if you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

It was an innocent question because you were genuinely curious to learn more about him, and get to know him better than you already did.

Jungkook stood up, eyes gazing down into yours.

“If I could have anything in the world, I would choose you.”

A gasp left your lips, you weren’t expecting that to be the answer. You thought he would speak about a dream job or a lifetime supply of banana milk. Not you.

He gently cupped your cheek with one hand while circling the other around your waist to draw you closer. You didn’t push him away, you didn’t stop him, no. Instead, you let him do as he pleased because, for the first time, you felt the racing of his heart.

“I don’t know if you still feel the same way about me, but I’m in love with you, y/n,” he confessed. “I know I told you that I don’t do relationships, but I’m willing to try and succeed with you, and... And I know I didn’t go by things the right way, and I’m really sorry, buh—but I’ll be better. I’ll do better... for you. Always.”

Without hesitation, without a single thought of reconsideration, you kissed him. You kissed him with tenderness and passion, you kissed him slowly and softly.

And he kissed back with just as much.

There was a soft smile on his lips when you parted, and for the first time, you saw genuine love and care in his eyes.

That was when you felt intense happiness.

“Of course, I love you, Jungkook,” you spoke softly but surely. “You’re my euphoria.”

➴➶➴➶

« thank you for reading, feedback is always appreciated. »

#bts #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts smut #jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts au #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop smut #kpop au #euphoria

[not-poignant]

Hey Pia hope you’re doing well

I was wondering, is the thing where Arden picks up a bunch of random hobbies and commitments a part of his ADHD or does it have like a name?

I’m a highschool student and I get told by all my friends and teachers that I have overcommitment issues and part of it’s just for uni and whatever ofc but it’s also that I want to do ALL THESE THINGS

Like I’m in 4 different science competition teams, the school debating team, school orchestra, scholarship classes, editor of my school newsletter, I lead the school amnesty and unicef clubs plus the IB program and being in the national maths Olympiad team lol and I don’t want to let any of these go but it’s so stressful and I’m so tired and ppl say I have to say no to stuff which is also stressful!

Also, doing more is always portrayed as such a great thing and I feel rlly guilty letting stuff go? So I’m just reaching out because you portrayed it in such a refreshing way and I was really curious!

Firstly, massive respect for your ability to fit this ask into the Tumblr ask limits. Seriously :D

Okay secondly, Arden’s habit of picking up a bunch of random hobbies / commitments is part of his ADHD. People with ADHD have this to different degrees, and my beta in particular relates really hard to this habit of Arden’s.

But actually, one of the reasons I put this in is because this is a very bad habit of mine - which is overcommitting, and overworking. And not wanting to let anything go.

People teach you a lot of skills in your life on how to pick things up, but almost no one teaches you what to do when you have many hobbies you love, and they’re hurting you because you’re working too hard and don’t have time for your loved ones (or to even really have loved ones) as an example. And it absolutely is a crucial skill to learn for people who are dealing with this, though capitalists don’t want you to learn it.

In the media what I see is most folks having no hobbies and someone being ‘oh you have to learn some.’ I liked Arden as a contrast to that ‘no, that’s too many things, put some back.’ Where Arden’s ADHD manifests - though it’s much more controlled than it used to be - is that he desires to spend a lot of money on the thing as soon as he gets into it (because he only wants the best of the best - which wasn’t great when he wasn’t earning much money), and that he starts really hooking into it in an obsessive kind of way. Spending a night making bows for your dog is one thing. Then wanting to spend $500 and start an Etsy store small business is like...from one day of work, not great.

A lot of Arden’s life has involved choosing to let go of things he’s loved doing, for his own sanity. This is something I’ve had to do as well and I fucking hate it, and these are the techniques I’ve developed for myself (and my still frankly overcommitted ass, who has people saying ‘when are you going to do LESS’ all the time to my face).

* Remind yourself that dropping some things now doesn’t mean you’re dropping them forever. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Sometimes it’s good to put a time limit on something. ‘I’m going to drop this for four weeks / four months and put a note/reminder in my phone about it right now.’ Chances are high you are not going to be as interested in that thing in four weeks/four months. (Chances are sadly also high you may have replaced it with something else). Like, there will be science groups you can join for the rest of your life. And debate groups. And newsletters.

(That being said, none of those things count towards our grades in Australia? So I don’t know how much these things are counting towards your grades in general and I’m not going to like, touch that side of things - however overcommitment is a super fast way to do a lot of things not that well, or to suddenly get so sick you can’t do any of the things and then feel terrible while you’re sick, more on that later!).

* Time caps on certain hobbies and activities and commitments. This is to actually shoot my habit of hyperfocusing in the foot. I don’t have time to play piano for four hours, but I’m allowed to play it for ten minutes a day (sometimes more but not often). And ten minutes a day adds up over time. I literally sit down and put the timer on my phone. If say there’s something that meets up twice a week but some people only go once, be one of those people!

* Rate the things based on how they contribute to your a) career and b) quality of life and c) happiness. Anything that rates lower on the list compared to the others (that isn’t like, literal money-making work or literal classes) needs to be dropped.

* Dropping things is just actually one of the hardest parts and there’s no real trick to making this easier. I just remind myself: ‘Just because I can do this thing, and do this thing well, doesn’t mean it’s good or healthy for me to do this thing. I need to spend time with people I care about, and I need rest, and those things matter more even if they feel less like ‘accomplishments.’ I want to care for myself through my hobbies, not punish myself.’ That goes some way in keeping perspective, but look, ngl, it sucks to drop commitments if you have an accomplishment/achievement/job satisfaction addiction. It just sucks.

* Accept that you are going to feel guilty, and that guilt is just an emotion, and it doesn’t mean you’ve done something bad. Look sometimes guilt gets it wrong! Sometimes you feel crushingly guilty just for breaking a bad habit, it’s not useful, you just have to kind of be like ‘huh I’m feeling a lot of guilt for trying to look after myself, that’s really interesting, I guess I can understand that but I’m also going to try and praise myself for doing a great job. Just because this isn’t an obvious kind of achievement, I know I achieved something really big and difficult today.’

* Oh yeah, use achievement and ‘job’ type language for doing things that involve successfully taking care of yourself and your energy levels. Just...sometimes you have to ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ - chances are you’ve never been as kind to yourself or proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends, than you are for taking on too many commitments. So...challenge yourself to be kind to yourself and proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends and committing to less. Trust me, you are never going to forget how to overcommit, and you are never going to become lazy or lax because you dropped a few of the (billion) things that you’re committed to. You can afford to praise yourself for this! And generously!

* Seriously, seriously consider seeing doctors or psychologists about this. Despite a TON of PTSD, I actually see my therapist most for working too hard and overcommitting. We spend a lot of time talking about why I might not be the worst person in the world for taking a break. Take it seriously. Your list alone made me feel like I was about to have a panic attack, lmao, your friends and teachers are right, you have overcomittment issues.

* Workaholicism and work addiction is real. There is a growing amount of information about how to deal with it and it’s worth googling.

***

Er anyway that’s what I do. It doesn’t always work. I have a lot of rules in place and I abandon half of them about halfway through the year and then s u f f e r. And have been doing that for over 25 years and I’m going to say bluntly now - it’s why I’m as sick as I am, and some of that sickness is irreversible. If nothing else, if you want to stay as active as you are now, I do not recommend that anyone push themselves so hard that they can no longer even do things that they enjoy on a regular basis, because they’re too physically debilitated to manage it, because they pushed their bodies too hard during the university years and just after. Because that is 100% why I became so sick in the first place.

And even extremely healthy people who have no history of chronic illness often develop something, in conjunction with years and years of working too hard or overcommitting. I’ve seen it happen to far too many of my friends, and you might feel like ‘just another six months’ or ‘just another three years’ but you’d be surprised how quickly you can go from ‘I’m doing it I’m doing it’ to ‘I keep getting migraines all the time doctor how do I fix this so I can go back to working as hard as I was before’ and your doctor being like ‘...yeah this isn’t curable. I’m going to give you some meds, that all come with horrible side effects, and you simply can’t do what you were doing before.’ Game over.

Trust me, that shit catches up with your body always. It might not be now, and I hope frankly it’s never, but overcommitment and workaholicism are the two fastest ways I know to chronic illness and once you get there, you can’t work your way out of it again.

Though god knows I have tried.

#asks and answers #personal #workaholicism #work addiction #like if you start stress grinding your teeth #for years #because you can't sleep well #because you're working too hard #trust me that will be over ten years of absolute misery and agony #as you crack your own teeth #because once you start stress grinding #you never stop #oh one final thing to keep in mind #you have been brainwashed by capitalist rhetoric #to believe that working is the greatest virtue out there #if you don't want to be a capitalist stooge for big business #unpacking overcommitment psychologically #even outside of impulse issues #can be pretty meaningful #but expect to need to do it more than once #because you will get that brainwashing all around you #for the rest of your life #(it's like body shaming sadly it's just everywhere) #some of my friends are going to read this advice and be like #WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT PIA #tons of sympathy anon it's hard as fuck #seriously anon if you don't want to spend your life with a fucked up body FOREVER #learn some crucial skills now #administrator Gwyn wants this in the queue #Anonymous

[skepticallysound]

A short story that I’m taking name suggestions for?

I didn’t turn around, because I knew that if I did all I would see is her face, screwed up in pain. Maybe she’d be on her knees, sobbing. I don’t know, because I didn’t look back. I wanted to. Oh, god, how I wanted to turn around and see her one more time, I recalled how her face dropped when I told her; I know I would cherish that last memory of her face forever. It was senior year and we’d both be going off to college next year, so that was the end. We always talked about spending these last few months together, before I left for Yale and she went to UCLA, but I guess my parents had something else in mind. My parents. That was it, they were the problem. I was angry at them, understandably, but they were still my parents. I needed them. I didn’t need her. Just wanted her really, really, really badly. When I finally got home I called Mick. He picked up right away. “Hey, I was just gonna call you. Wanna go get some pizza or something?” I let out a sob. “Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong?”, Mick asked.

I tried to explain but I was crying too hard for him to even understand what I was saying. “Ok, it’s ok. I’ll be there in ten.” That was Mick. Reliable. Caring. The best friend I ever had. I can’t even imagine my life without him, we’re basically like siblings. And of course we’ve had the moment where he confessed his love to me - because we’re a boy and a girl, we have to be romantically involved right? It went something like this:

“Jess, I like you. I have for a little while now and I just thought you should know.”

“Mick, I like girls.”

“Oh… Ok. Never mind then.”

And that was that. He was great. Anyway, he came over and found me curled up in a ball in my bed under my covers. “What’s happened, love?”

“I broke up with Alisha.” I cried.

“Oh, honey. Why?” He cooed. He was good like that, supportive.

“Because, because -“ It was at this moment that I realized it was a very stupid reason, probably one of the worst ever, in fact. I started crying even harder.

“Ok, it’s ok, we don’t have to talk about it.”

And like that we stayed for quite some time, him holding me, stroking my hair and me, bawling, unable to speak.

Of course, eventually Mick had to leave. My mom came home and although both my parents adore him, it was also getting late and, like I said, boy and girl. So, no sleepovers allowed - stupid rule if you ask me, especially since I had come out, like obviously I don’t want to have sex with him now, surely you understand that. But no, my parents are very much the “Oh, this is just a phase” type of people. So, no sleepovers. Mick told me to text him if I need anything. He knew how to sneak into my window and he told me that he would bring ice cream or Kit-Kats - my favourite chocolate - in a heartbeat. My mom asked what that was about. I hesitated. I loved my mom, but, she didn’t really get me. She tried really hard, I have to give her credit, but her life was so different from mine and she just really didn’t get what it was like for me. Plus the whole lesbian thing, but we’ve already covered that. I decided to tell her. “I broke up with Alisha.”

“Oh, honey. That’s tough… but I really think this is for the best.” She hugged me. Best my ass. “If you need anything, let me know. I love you.” She let go and kissed me on the forehead. I went back up to my room. I felt like throwing up. I probably grabbed my phone to text Alisha about a thousand times, even typing out what I wanted to say. “Hey, I’m so sorry. It was a huge mistake, can you forgive me?” But I never sent them, it wasn’t fair to her. I break up with her and then a couple hours later change my mind? Bullshit. So, I laid in bed. Eventually, the tears stopped, and all I felt was numb. Right about now, all I wanted was a big hug from my dad and a deep talk from my mom, but my dad wasn’t home yet and my mom wouldn’t really want to get into the depths of my relationship with Alisha. Slowly, the sweet release of sleep came over me as I blasted my music, and I drifted off dreaming of her. Her gorgeous chocolate eyes and dark brown skin. The way she used to straighten her hair everyday in eighth grade because she “thought it looked better” but eventually left it natural most of the time from tenth grade on because she finally started to believe me when I told her it was beautiful. If it wasn’t clear already, Alisha and I were friends. Good friends. Not quite Mick and I good, but good. It’s kinda funny, because normally the two girls are the best friends and the guy and the girl fall in love, but this time the guy and the girl were the friends and the two girls fell in love. So, yeah, we were friends. And I loved her as my friend, but I always thought she was beautiful. Honestly, she was a big part of my sexual awakening, I never really realized that thinking other girls were pretty wasn’t normal, especially because my one girl friend that I talked to about it was also into girls, so, I guess neither of us really realized we were not straight for a while. It took me talking to my sister to figure it out. I remember we were both on instagram and she showed me this picture of this girl and said something like “Ugh, her stomach is so flat. Why can’t I look like that?” Which is total bullshit to begin with because my sister is hot - it runs in the family, I guess. But then I said something like “Holy shit, I’d [Insert sexual comment here]” which got a very strange look from Paige, my sister, and I thought ‘Huh, maybe that’s not normal.’ So, yeah. After that, Alisha and I started dating, we dated halfway through grade 11 through until the end of senior year. At first, I kept it a secret from my parents, and she understood that. Coming out was not an easy thing for me, for Alisha though… lets just say, she had a very different relationship with her parents. They were much more accepting than mine, but also much more strict when it came to some things. Like, for example, when they did find out we were dating, her parents did not let us go into her room, in fact, they barely let us stay at her house alone, ever. My parents, on the other hand, didn’t really care about that as much. Even when my sister brings her boyfriend over, they’re allowed in her room. So, it’s a bit of a different dynamic between her and I. When I did finally come out to my parents, I wasn’t shunned or anything, but I wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms either. I got a lot of “I’m sure you feel that way now,” and “Theres nothing wrong with experimenting.” But it was clear that they either didn’t think this was a lasting thing, or hoped that it wasn’t going to be.

The next day when I woke up, I had a text from Alisha. I bolted upright in bed and opened my phone. “Hey, can I ask you something?” It read. Why didn’t I stay up? I hated myself for a moment, then I looked at the time stamp. 4:32 am. I wouldn’t have been awake anyway, but I felt terrible because I felt like I was the reason she was up that late. Of course, Alisha was always one to stay up late. I, on the other hand, was much more sensible, usually going to bed by 11:00 or 11:30. I texted her back “Of course. Whats up?”. I sat and waited for a minute. Nothing. I felt the tears coming back. Then, a text from Mick came in: “How ya feeling?” Not great. I send him the crying emoji and the puking emoji. “That good, huh? Want me to come?” Theres that reliability again.

“No, I’ll be ok. Thanks though.”

“Anytime, and I’m still here if you need.” I don’t need to reply to this one, Mick and I are very low communication type of friends. I flip back to my chat with Alisha. Still nothing. Then the text bubbles appear, and disappear again. I wait, but they don’t reappear. More tears. I fling my phone across my bed, watching it bounce and then land on the pillow. My sister comes in. I hadn’t seen her since yesterday morning. She understands what goes on in my house better than anyone, even Mick. I guess Mom told her what happened because she didn’t say anything, she just came over and sat with me.

“Was it because of them?”

I nodded. Again, unable to speak.

“You shouldn’t let Mom and Dad dictate your life. I know theres a lot they have control over, Jess, but not this. They don’t get to decide who you love.” She was always more independent than I am, and even though she didn’t quite have this exact problem, she understood. I loved her for that. I gave her a smile and she kissed me on the cheek and left. I felt a vibration through my bed. I sat up and flipped over my phone, Alisha had finally texted. “Sorry. I just need to know why…Did I do something?” I was in shock. I can’t believe I didn’t even tell her why. I am such a horrible person.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t you at all. It was -“ I hesitated. I felt stupid. It was still a dumb reason. “It was because of my parents. And I feel so stupid. I shouldn’t let them control my life.” My finger hovered over the send button, and eventually it fell. My stomach dropped.

“So, what are you saying?” She replied, almost immediately.

“I’m saying that” I sent that first, that way I couldn’t back out of it. “I’m sorry, and it was a huge mistake.”

My phone started buzzing, she was calling me. I took a deep breath and tried to make it sound like I wasn’t crying. God knows why, but I did.

“Hi.” I exhaled

“Hi.” She replied. “Sorry to call. It’s just-“

“You hate texting, I know.” I finished for her. After all, I did know her very well, we had been friends for four years and dated for two of them.

“So, look. I know you and your parents have a rough relationship, but I just don’t understand why you broke up with me.”

“Like I said, it was stupid. I just felt like, I don’t know, they were starting to resent me for our relationship.”

“Oh. Well, how did you feel?”

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“I felt like you were one of the best things that ever happened to me.” There was no reply, so I continued, “And I feel like and idiot for ending things with you.” I waited.

“Jess, I-I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to say.”

“I get that. I know you’re probably mad at me. I get it if you never want to see me again.”

“No. I don’t want that. I want the opposite, but how can I know that you won’t do this to me again?”

“You don’t, but I can make a promise to you that I have seen the error in my ways, and if you want me back, I’m yours, with the promise that this wont happen again.”

“The point is, Jess, that if you didn’t want to end it you shouldn’t have." “I know! I know I shouldn’t have. So, of course I want you back, but if that’s not what you want then I completely understand.”

“Give me some time to think.”

“Of course!”

“Ok… Bye.”

“Bye.” There was a moment while neither of us hung up and I could hear her take a couple breaths in, then the line disconnected. I took a deep breath and felt, renewed? I just hoped she would understand that I knew how much of an idiot I was and that I never wanted to hurt her like this again.

The next day, Alisha texted me asking if we could meet for coffee. I replied right away. “3 at our spot?” She asked. “Sounds good.” I replied. I looked at the clock, 1:43pm. Only another hour to wait, I quickly hopped in the shower and then picked out my bright yellow top and paired it with my solid light blue palazzo pants. Alisha always talked about how much she loved this shirt. I put on my makeup and got in my car and drove to Liz’s Coffee House. This was “our spot”, where we had our first real date, all our hangouts, we went here all the time. I got there and checked my phone. 2:54pm. Perfect. I went in and walked towards our usual table, Alisha was already sitting there, she clearly made as much of an effort as I had. Her hair was down, the way I liked it best, and she was wearing her green off the shoulder shirt and black shorts. God, she was hot. I sat down and she pushed a coffee cup towards me. “I got you your usual.”

“Thanks.” I blushed, half surprised she did that, but then remembering Alisha, feeling more surprised that I was surprised she did that. “So,” I opened

“So.” She let it hang in the air for a minute. “I still like you.” “I still like you too.” I couldn’t meet her gaze, but I felt it on me.

“Then, as long as you follow through on your promise and don’t do anything stupid again…” I managed to look up at her.

“You have my word.” I giggled

“Good. Then we’re good.” She beamed. I let out a sigh and beamed back at her.

So, Alisha and I kept dating. In my head, it was just a few more months but Alisha said that she felt like it was a few more months she could spend with a girl she had the most fun she’d ever had in her life with, and I had to agree. So, a few more months until we would have to say goodbye again. We weren’t thinking about that, though. We were just focusing on us and now.