Tumgik
warmau · 4 hours
Note
I have surprisingly many things in common with your cat..
feeling like a lot of you do (which is awesome 👍)
5 notes · View notes
warmau · 4 hours
Text
Sorry for being such a slow writer, it's because I [remembers that self-deprecating jokes are harmful to my mental health and make everyone else uncomfortable] was attacked by dark spirits and washed up on the shore of a mysterious island with no recollection of who I was
4K notes · View notes
warmau · 14 hours
Text
achilles does not gaf about fighting, but he is locked tf in when jaemin is on screen
holding my cat up to the screen to watch two things 1) free fight on ufc youtube channel and 2) nct dream - smoothie studio choom 4k
20 notes · View notes
warmau · 23 days
Text
☆ commission: lovestruck!au jaemin note: i do not know how to crochet so please bare with me
there are three people in the crocheting club
two are quiet, hermit type classmates that you have never heard make much more then a small noise or string together the syllables of their name in class
and renjun - who looks you up and down when you come through the door with nothing but the pair of old crocheting needles you got from your grandmother and a ball of yarn that is....in his opinion...the ugliest shade of yellow to exist
but then you sit down after a small introduction and get lost in your project, clumsily making it through your knots, and renjun softens to that
the whole point of this club is to be alone, together
you understand that without having to be told - meaning, you fit right in
after a hectic day of trying to survive classes, the annoying and loud nature of the hallways, and of course all the other woes of youth - this place is a safe haven
and then of course, na jaemin appears on a tuesday at exactly three fifteen sharp
the way he opens the door is sudden and the energy he gusts in with him like a wind draws shudders from the two wallflower classmates, a look of disgust from renjun, and confusion from you
"jaemin, this is the crocheting club are you looking for-"
he flashes a big and white grin at you
"then i'm in the right place!
jaemin is not good at crocheting
to be honest, he can't even sew
he brings the wrong kind of needles with him and doesn't have the slightest idea of what a pattern he's interested in starting
he just makes an offhanded comment about how he likes cats, the big and fluffy ones
renjun's voice waivers with nuisance as he tries to get jaemin on a more concrete path
"well are you going to make a blanket with a cat, a hat with a cat, a pair of mit-"
"whatever you think i should do!" jaemin grins and looks over his shoulder at you "woah, you're in the club too?"
the way he asks makes you think he already knew the answer before stepping through the door
which is weird because..........jaemin isn't your friend
you guys are more like acquaintances by force
he was your lab partner last year when he transferred from organic chemistry to biology 2 which he claimed was because the professor just didn't understand him
but you had heard from rumors floating around that the real reason he'd been switched was due to an secret experiment gone wrong that jaemin had been caught red-handed for
you had debated asking him about it when you two were working together in class, but decided against it
plus - jaemin was good at biology - like ... really good ... so far so that maybe his claim about just being disliked had merit
because someone so talented and excited about science, couldn't have failed and almost blown up a classroom like the rumor whispered about
so keeping your curiosity to yourself, your just tried to keep up with jaemin
who would get to the conclusion before you could even get past the hypothesis
other than that, the most you'd ever really talked to each other was one time outside of the library
you were waiting for a friend and jaemin had come down the hall, flanked by a group of rowdy friends of his, jaemin the center of all their attention
when he'd spotted you he had smoothly pushed himself out of that frenzy and into your quiet, awkward personal space
"you accidentally left this behind last period." he'd fished your half done lab report out of his backpack "i kept it between two textbooks so it wouldn't get crumpled."
as he handed it back to you, you immediately saw that beside your own work were scribbled notes in pencil
"did you-"
before you could ask your question, a hand had appeared on jaemin's shoulder and pulled him back into the body of people taking up the entire hallway
jaemin didn't get a chance to look back at you, but you had watched him and everyone else disappear around the corner
you remembered distinctly that one person, a girl with bright eyeshadow and a collection of keychains hanging from her bag had turned around to shoot one glare at you, and then jaemin and the rest of them were gone
you had looked at the report, noticing that the comments in pencil were corrections to your work - but after each sentence there were a variety of tiny little scribbles
some were smiley faces and others looked like attempts to draw some kind of cartoon characters
even though the corrections were bluntly explaining how your line of thinking was wrong - the drawings had made jaemin's sincerity obvious on the page
he's trying to help me, and still be silly about it
you had remembered thinking: "that's very.....jaemin of him."
despite this one interaction and the scattered lab periods you'd shared, you didn't have a moment where you felt as if you and jaemin had gotten anywhere near close
not as friends, and not as anything more
but yet - as the first session of crochet club that jaemin attends came to a close - he's the one to corner you at the door and ask, with that smile never really leaving his face
"can i walk you to the station?"
"sorry - how did you know i take the train?"
jaemin doesn't look flustered, he just blinks at you as if it's obvious that he should know this
"i ride my bike to school, and you're never at the bike rack. my path goes by the bus and you're never at the bust stop - so, logically speaking, the train is it."
you have the tickling urge in your stomach to one up him
"what if i walked to school?"
he points to the pass case hanging off your bag that clearly displays the ticket you need every day to get on the train
"then why would you always have that?"
you open your mouth to think of some retort, but you really don't have any, so you just look back at him
"is there a reason you want to walk with me - is there something we need to talk about?"
jaemin puts his hands hands in his pockets and shakes his head
"nope. but you can also say no if you don't want me to walk with you."
has anyone ever said no to him?
you think, taking a pause to focus on his face
when you look like that, with the added bonus of his height and the fact that being smart just comes naturally i would assume rejection isn't even a possibility in his mind
"no - i mean yes you can walk with me."
and look at me, falling right into the trap like everyone does
jaemin gives you a thumbs up and turns his body to let you through the door
the first couple of minutes it's silent and you catch some double takes from other students
renjun is at the front of the school when you pass and he raises an eyebrow as you kind of mouth a "i don't know either?"
then, when you're out of the vicinity of the school, jaemin straightens up and stretches his arms over his head
his shirt rides up and reveals the lean skin of his stomach and you involuntarily look up to pretend you didn't see it
"so - why do you like crocheting?" the question catches you off guard "from what i could tell today, it's pretty boring."
"it's not boring!"
you argue, "it's fulfilling, and good for your concentration. plus at the end you make something that you can use and that's the most rewarding part."
"but you can buy a hat or a blanket anywhere. there are machines that make them one hundred times faster, and they're cheaper to buy then spending money on the equipment and the yarn and-"
you stop and jaemin walks a couple of feet ahead before realizing and turning back
"why did you-"
"if you just wanted to make fun of my hobby, why did you even show up to the club today? no one forced you to join us - and you could have left at any point."
a look of surprises washes over jaemin, and then he scratches his head and seems to understand that all he's done is come of as a bit rude
"no - sorry, it's not my intention to criticize you. i just really wanted to know why you like it."
"lots of people like it. for lots of different reasons, just because something is boring to you doesn't mean it's boring to me. for your information na jaemin i don't find science to be all that interesting but you love it right?"
you aren't sure where this is all coming from, a part of you think it's just you exercising your right to tell this guy off for butting into your club unannounced
and the other part is just that......jaemin is always so straightforward and simple. he's always first to find a solution and for once maybe you want to get there first...just a one up against one of the most popular and intelligent students
"well science isn't boring, it's infinite and ever changing. isn't crocheting just doing the same thing over and over and over?"
"there are different-" you stops before you start, the two reasons you have for this conversation suddenly seeming childish and unnecessary
you glare at jaemin and stomp past him toward the station
obliviously, he starts after you, but you point back toward the school
"i would appreciate if you let me walk to the station alone now."
you don't look at his expression as you continue on your way, muttering in your head about how stupid that all was
jaemin watches you, but you don't feel his gaze on your back, instead you fume a little on your way home
but tell yourself that it doesn't matter, ultimately - you won't have to deal with jaemin again
he won't be showing up to your 'boring' club again anyway
jaemin is there before you are, chatting at one of the two quieter students as they stare at him like deer in headlights
"basically, kiwi's don't have wings - but they're still considered birds, but interestingly they have more in common with mammals an-"
"jaemin" you get his attention and he smiles and waves at you as if everything is fine and as it should be. even though that's clearly not the case "what are doing here?"
he lifts his needles, "i'm here to crochet. this is crocheting club, right?"
you cross your arms, "didn't you tell me yesterday that you thought crocheting was boring?"
"i did"
"so then why are you here doing something boring when you have the choice to.........well not be?"
he stands up and you expect him to laugh, to turn this all into some joke that he's been playing out in his head
but instead he just gives you a clear smile
"because my choice is to be here. i want to be here and i want to crochet with you."
a gasp comes from the other two students in the room - renjun walks up behind you at the exact moment jaemin makes the proclamation and snorts
"so you're here to flirt? could the two of you do it somewhere else?"
"that's not-" you start but jaemin tilts his head at you like a puppy awaiting your call
"should we go crochet somewhere else? i want to continue our conversation from yesterday too."
renjun clicks his tongue, "oh your 'conversation' from yesterday huh?"
you feel heat on your skin from the eyes in the room and the absolute shameless way jaemin is staring straight at you with no intention of stopping
"actually, i have to go home - i have...stuff to do." you turn to make a beeline out of there, but in mere seconds jaemin has caught up with you with the cheery look on his face turned to concern
"wait - what do you mean do stuff? i heard you tell renjun at lunch that you're almost done with your scarf project and wanted to finish today at the club."
"oh so are you eavesdropping on me and my boring conversations now too? was not coming here to make fun of my boring hobby again not enough?"
jaemin looks lost, which confuses you because what other explanation could there be
"i was just near you in lunchroom and i never made fun of your hobby."
"jaemin, you literally asked me why i liked doing something so boring."
he takes a second and you're reminded of a loading screen on a game or a computer
"oh." he starts, brown eyes finding yours again "i didn't mean boring as a bad thing."
you sit across from jaemin in the grass of a nearby park and watch him struggle through a couple of the first loops
after a moment he groans and puts the needles down
"it's just not for me."
"you can't say that just because you're bad at it. everyone is bad as a beginner."
jaemin shakes his head, "most things are easy to understand for me - how can i understand cell division but i can't understand how to make a square of fabric?"
you try to suppress a giggle, but jaemin catches you and thins his lips in response
"oh, is it funny that i'm not good at something you can do easily?"
you shrug playfully, "kinda."
he leans back against the tree his bag and yours are resting on as well
"i am sorry again.....i didn't think i would offend you when i ... said all that yesterday."
you rub your arm nervously, after storming out of the room with jaemin following you - you had been offended. mad, even.
but you had fundamentally misunderstood jaemin
he was just curious - as you had been when he was made your lab partner last semester
curious about why he'd been switched, but also just curious about how someone could have so much fun in science class
you didn't have that kind of fun with it - you weren't even interested in it really. you just had to pass the class.
jaemin was doing the same here, he'd just been more vocal about it and had used the wrong word when he'd picked "boring"
he had probably meant to say - why do you like crocheting? personally, it's not easy and fun for me.
which is a question lots of people have about it - and have asked you before
"don't apologize, you were just trying something new and wanted to know more about it i guess."
jaemin shakes his head
"i was trying something new - but i was trying it because i heard you liked it. i wanted to try something you liked."
the words are simple and strung together without shyness, but you don't really know how to take them
"um - why?"
"why what?" jaemin twists some of the yarn around his finger and then glances at you when you don't follow up
"why did i want to try something specifically you liked?"
he continues for you and you nod, unsure of what to add
he smiles and his teeth are pretty just like the rest of him
"because i like you."
you reply the conversation close to a hundred times in your head that evening
"because i like you."
"sure, but you could have found another way to be my friend - you didn't have to force yourself into croc-"
"oh, sorry, let me say that again. i like you in the non-platonic kind of way."
jaemin's voice hadn't faltered, like with most things, he said this without a single hint of worry or lack of confidence
you'd felt the inside of your mouth go dry as you repeated it slowly back to him
"in the non-platonic kind of way?"
"yes." he'd taken the two crocheting needles and pressed the edges of the top sides together "like in this way, you know?"
you'd imagined he was mimicking kissing, but your mind halted that thought because - well - then that meant that na jaemin was implying that he wanted to kiss you
"are you being serious?"
was all you could think to say, the words tumbled out of you without a filter
"pretty serious."
he'd tilted his head and done the whole puppy awaiting your command look that probably sent most people head over heels within seconds
but just kept you sitting there almost dumbly confused
"you don't have to give me an answer now, and don't worry if you don't feel the same - just tell me how you really feel when you decide."
you sit up in bed and ball your fists around your covers
"when i decide? decide what? decide that i -"
you say it outloud and into the darkness of your room before groaning and falling back into your pillows, one hand thrown over your eyes
"not like i have a choice in deciding, it's you jaemin......of course, i like you too."
jaemin is talking with renjun when you show up to the club the next day
and renjun throws a glance your way that immediately reads: please help me get away from this weirdo
jaemin waves at you casually, and it almost makes you forgot what happened yesterday
you sit down at one of the empty desks and take out your nearly completed scarf
looking at it, you nod to yourself, and focus on finally finishing
jaemin stays the entire time too, and you can see from the corner of your eye that he's trying out the technique you'd been showing him yesterday
he catches your gaze once and smiles, but goes back to his work
half thankful that he isn't sliding himself in beside you to talk while you work (or, more importantly - ask you for your answer)
but also half confused at how calm he is even after confessing
you let yourself get lost in your work and when the club ends, renjun and the two other students leaving before you and jaemin do
you look down at the scarf that's complete and then turn to the desk where jaemin is
he's fallen asleep on top of his attempt at making....well you aren't sure
and you get up to wake him
but before you put a hand on his shoulder, you take in the image of him - laying his head on his arms, uniform sleeves rolled up to his elbows
he's got a serene expression, as if he's having the best dream in the world, his bangs falling over his eyes and tickling the desk beneath him
even like this his jawline is sharp and handsome, his breathing is even and his long legs are stretched out past the desk beneath him
he doesn't look like he belongs here, in this room with you, but somewhere else
somewhere ethereal and beautiful
which makes what happened yesterday feel like it isn't real either
you suddenly feel like you shouldn't disturb him
which also make a sinking feeling in your stomach rise as you wonder if you should just ...... say no. maybe, rejecting jaemin is the right choice for the both of you because -
you clutch the scarf in your hands
because you and him don't fit. like failed science experiments, or a badly crocheted pair of socks
"i'm sorry." you start - in a small voice "i'm sorry, but i don't think i should like you back."
"that's silly."
you startle and look down to see jaemin opening his eyes and blinking back sleep
"you were aw-"
"oh! you finished." he points to the scarf and you reflexively let him take it out of your hands
he unravels it and gasps, "it looks even better than the ones in stores. are you going to give it to someone?"
i was going to give it to you. i was going to be selfish and say, of course i like you back. you of all people should be smart enough to know that.
but you're quiet in response and jaemin's eyes flicker a little as the dimming light outside trickles throughout the room
"so what did you mean by that, by thinking you shouldn't like me back?"
"jaemin-" his name sounds too soft when it leaves your mouth "we're different, i don't think we would work out."
"but you haven't tried." he gets up and smiles "you haven't even given it a try."
he dangles the scarf up beside him, "you probably didn't think you could make this when you started - but look at you now. you made this."
he places the scarf gently onto the desk, as if it's going to break if he mistreats it
"and i wouldn't have half as much fun doing the same experiments over and over again, never trying something new to get a new conclusion."
he opens his arms wide and you look at him with a wrinkle of your forehead
"so don't say you shouldn't like me or i shouldn't like you. just like me freely, like i like you. without inhabitation - and let's see what happens!"
for a minute the world stops and you and jaemin are alone in it
without another thought, you walk right into him, throwing your arms around his waist
for the first time you feel through the contact that he's surprised, but then his arms close in around you
"the scarf was for you by the way." you mumble into the front of his shirt "i hope you like it."
he let's go of you with one hand, the other still securely wrapped around you as he puts the scarf on
"i love it, i'm going to wear it all the time."
"even in the summer?"
"even in the summer."
somehow jaemin doesn't seem to be as aware of the shock that pulsates through your school when you both walk in holding hands
and maybe it's the fact that jaemin is sticking to his word, walking around with your scarf around his neck despite being inside
but you're sure it's actually because na jaemin is dating someone.
and that someone is you
the only people who aren't surprised are the crocheting club
renjun just gives you the, him? well if you're sure look and the two other members speak their first full sentence to you: "you guys look cute together."
jaemin swings by the club a couple of more times with you, but it's mostly just to stare as you work
you don't mind it - but you encourage him to join a club of his own that does things that he's interested in
"but i still want to learn to crochet, you like it and i want to understand it."
you put your hands over his and lean up to peck him right on the lips
"that's nice of you, but i think we can appreciate the things we both like .... even if we don't do them."
"you just don't want me to get you involved in my science stuff right?"
you sheepishly give your answer with a sidelong look away from him
jaemin laughs and presses his lips to your cheek, kissing twice toward the tip of your nose and then spinning you into his arms for one more kiss on the lips
but jaemin, surprisingly, is serious about learning more
so sometimes you sit inbetween jaemin's legs, crocheting and humming to yourself as he rests his chin on your shoulder transfixed at your movements
you explain them and then let him take over, his long arms coming over yours and taking the needles
he's clumsy and it's taking him some time to get used to it
but with practice, you're sure he will get be better
one afternoon as you're sitting together like this - jaemin rests his chin on your shoulder
"want to know when i started liking you?"
you stop your work and enthusiastically nod - you had never asked him, but you definitely always wanted to know
"so, i was taking organic chemistry and we were learning about reactions, addition reactions - adding atoms to unsaturated molecules - talking about the importance of modifying existing organic compounds."
"jaemin - human words"
he laughs, "talking about how adding something to something that already exists and making it something different."
"ok...go on."
"and i thought, what's something new i can add to myself to make myself new? i couldn't think of anything. long story short, i talked to the professor i had about it and he wasn't impressed with it. he said something about how biology might suit me better if i was interested in 'how humans change'."
you look over your shoulder, "so you didn't blow up the lab like everyone says you did?"
"nope, but when i left his office that day i passed by the crocheting club room and i saw you."
you feel jaemin's hands wrap a little more tightly around you
"and i had this feeling in my chest that something in me changed - just by looking at you. turns out that to my luck you were in biology two and after transferring i got to be your lab partner."
he nuzzles his face against your neck and you gently graze your fingers up and down his arm
"each time we worked together, something inside of me was changing. maybe not a cellular level - but i felt new every time and i didn't want to let those feelings go when the semester did so - i found you where i'd seen you first."
you take in every word, but ask - "but, how did you know that change was-" you hesitate but jaemin says the word against your neck
"love?" he lifts his gaze back to yours
"because it was the only definition i could give to the change inside of me. and sitting down with you in crocheting club, walking you to the station, and telling you how i felt - proved my theory."
you look at his eyes - as clear and as truthful as they always are - the beautiful brown a lighter hue in the light
"that there was a new me, a new me that loves you."
when he presses his lips to yours - you want to say it back, you want to fill the entire world with it
i love you too, silly.
144 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 months
Text
☆ commission: cat cafe!au x lovestruck!au juyeon note: you're the lovestruck one in this
you're not sure when it starts
maybe the day you get silver in, the skinny grey tabby who skittishly avoids every patron, settling into a small ball of fur on the top perch of one of the cat trees
the only human allowed to handle her is juyeon, who talks to her quietly and soothingly and who can hold her in the palm of one hand
maybe it's the weekend you get a whole group of university girls - colorful and loud - flirting endlessly over cat treats and milk tea with juyeon because he's nice and doesn't know the difference between friendly and a little too friendly
or maybe there isn't a way to pinpoint the beginning of your feelings because they've just been inside you for so long that the root is impossible to trace
you look at juyeon from over the register, watch him pick up cat toys and empty glasses from customer ordered drinks
you notice him stop for a second to let silver take a tentative few steps toward him before she's nudging against his ankle with her small head
and you just............feel.................warmth
he turns to call out to you, and your eyes drop down to the counter because ever since it - whatever this is - started
you cannot fathom ever letting juyeon know
"do you still want me to go out and buy litter today?"
you glance at the clock on the wall, shaped like a cat, tail swinging languidly
"it's almost nine so i'll just do it tomorrow when i open."
"sure." he smiles and your chest gets all toasty with adoration "don't pick anything too heavy."
on your way home, you scroll aimlessly through your photos to check which brand to get in the morning when your finger stops on one photo in particular
your first week at the cat cafe
the owner is posing next to you with a big grin, to his left is eric who is doing an enthusiastic v-pose, and then to your right is juyeon
he's wearing a white tshirt underneath his apron, black hair pulled back under a baseball cap, blue jeans and sneakers
he doesn't even try and still manages to be the most handsome man i've ever seen
the train jolts and your finger leaves the photo, scrolling up to some other photo
this one is just you, taken by a friend at some outing
does he look at me at all? does he look at me the way i look at him?
you lock your phone and sigh, these feelings inside of you can continue to grow but you are sure you won't ever let them bloom into anything. especially not something juyeon can ever see.
the next morning, you find yourself in a match with the twenty-five pound bag of litter
you had lifted it at the nearby store and thought to yourself, incorrectly, that you would make the trek back to the cafe with no issues
half a block you had been puffing - dropping the bag as carefully as possible to the sidewalk
"one of the cats is twenty five pounds, why does this stupid bag feel like it's a hundred?"
you catch your breath as a long shadow suddenly obscures your own
"i knew you would overdo it."
you straighten up and see juyeon
"juy- your shift doesn't start till three in the afternoon?!?"
he surveys the bag and the little beads of sweat on the side of your face.
without a word, he picks up the bag and throws it over his shoulder like it's absolutely nothing
"i'll help you bring this in." he outstretches his free hand to you as if to ask if you need help getting stable
you shyly shake your head and he waits as you adjust
the walk to the cafe is quiet.
it's early, and the start of the weekend, so shops are opening but there isn't a crowd yet
"don't be scared."
you freeze - don't be scared? did i mishear him?
"sorry?"
juyeon's expression is unreadable when you look at him for confirmation
his clean skin and pretty eyes radiate calmness. his lips in a slightly upturned curve.
"don't be scared to ask me for help. you've been at the cafe for a while now, the cats like you and i-"
you......like me..........too?
"and i appreciate anyone who is fond of cats like i am."
oh. right.
you laugh awkwardly, covering your mouth out of habit.
"ok, i will. sorry to bother you before your shif-"
juyeon's long fingers wrap around your wrist and you stop in the middle of the street
gently, as if he's handling a kitten, he pulls your hand from your face
"you should never hide your laughter."
it's random, uncalled for even - people don't just say things like that in the middle of a conversation
but juyeon does it as if it's the most normal reaction
and he just blinks when you stare back at him - heart hammering in your chest
"r-ri-right, i won't. but um - will you go back home since you're not scheduled till three?"
juyeon shrugs and you two resume walking
the store is on the next block and when you get to the door, juyeon shifts the bag from one shoulder to the other
"do you need any help opening?"
you fumble with the key, the feeling of his gaze makes you a little dizzy
"n-no i think i have it. you should go back home and get some more sleep."
he nods and follows you inside, placing the litter by the door
without another word to you, he enters the part of the store where the cats are
you pretend to busy yourself with organizing the little chairs in the cafe section, but secretly you watch as he heads right toward the little corner that silver has made her home in
he stands there - seemingly checking if she's awake - and you see him outstretch his hand
always so patient, no wonder she picked him as his favorite. i would too.
you shake your head at the thought, as if to get it out of your head, busying yourself with the usual duties
juyeon emerges a couple of minutes later and waves at you as he opens the door
"i'll be back at three."
"ok!"
and nothing else.
you realize only after it's quiet and you're all on your own again that you didn't get to ask juyeon what in the world he was doing here so early
was he jogging around the neighborhood? did he get up early to go to the same pet store...for a pet he doesn't have? or ........ or........ had he been thinking about you?
you bite back your lip, wondering if its selfish to even have the thought
the thought that juyeon, perfect juyeon, everyone's crush juyeon - could possibly have been laying in his sheets this morning and thinking about going out to check on you
as if to answer you, you hear a loud and annoyed meow
"right. breakfast."
you mumble and let your thoughts about what could or could not have happened this morning find a shelf in the back of your mind
three o'clock comes by even faster than you expect
juyeon comes in, followed by always energetic eric
before you even get a chance to greet them - eric comes bounding toward you with shining eyes
"i heard you totally couldn't even lift ten pounds of litter this morning!"
you deadpan at him, "it was twenty-five pounds."
he shakes his head, hands on his hips, "job requirement says you have to lift fifty pounds or more! i'm telling the boss!"
an obvious joke, you roll your eyes, but juyeon furrows his eyebrows as he joins you
"eric - don't tell the boss that. i don't want them to get in trouble."
you and eric both look at him a little dumbfounded, trying to find a hint of sarcasm in his tone
but juyeon is completely genuine. as he always is.
eric burst into laughter, "dude! i was just playing, teasing!"
he shoves into juyeon's shoulder, who just sways with surprise
"oh."
you giggle, lifting your hand up to your mouth again, but stopping - remembering juyeon's soft voice in the morning
you should never hide your laughter
juyeon's eyes waiver for a moment, from your awkward hand to your lips, or maybe you just imagine it
because he turns and lets you deal with eric's presence by yourself as he lets himself into the cat enclosure
as eric talks a million miles a minute and you help a group of new customers, you second guess the events of the day in your head again
there's no way he would go out of his way to see me this morning. it was just a coincidence. it has to be just a coincidence. juyeon has never shown any kind of interest toward m-
"oh shit!"
the exclaimed voice belongs to eric, who pushes past the register and approaches you with big, sparkling eyes
which can only mean one thing
"can you cover the rest of my shift? pleaaaaaaaase!"
you huff, "why?"
he tries to make himself all cute and sweet, "it's an emergency! for reaaaaaaal! i promise, i'll owe you!"
you don't know how much you believe this 'emergency' - and you've been here since the early morning.
you're tired, you don't even have tomorrow off, and you were looking forward to catching the latest episode of a drama you've been into
but
the cat enclosure opens, and juyeon walks out. behind him is a customer that's clearly starstruck by him.
"let me go get the adoption form." juyeon tells them and the big, fluffy orange cat in his hands purrs
the customer nods and as juyeon passes you and eric, he lifts the cats paw in acknowledgement
how is he the cutest person ever.
"so will you do it? i'm sorry to ask but i gotta go like now if you can!"
another...what....four hours with juyeon? till closing?
"fine. but you're taking my early morning next week."
"deal!" eric is already undoing his apron and rushing toward the back for his stuff
juyeon only registers that you're still here about an hour later.
busy with the adoption procedure, when he waves off the customer with their new pet, he turns and his eyes widen innocently
"i thought you left?"
"eric had an emergency."
concern overtakes the look of shock
"have you taken a break yet? did you eat?"
you remember the sad excuse you had for lunch and shake your head
"sit down, i'll take care of everything till closing."
the way he says it - the words are clear, calm like midday waves
"it's ok -"
juyeon is already pulling a chair from the cafe area behind the register
you sit only because juyeon doesn't seem to look like he's going to move if you don't
"we need to clean before we clo-"
"i can do it." he leans down and for a second the world stops. his face gets so close you can smell whatever detergent he used on his tshirt.
picking some lint from your apron strap, he straightens up.
you feel like your head spins back into a moving world
cutest person ever, with no sense of personal space. great. i pick the best ones.
"the cats were good today. it won't take long."
you make yourself a cup of water and take one of the candy bars from the front to nibble on as you wait for the last party of people to finish playing with the cats
juyeon floats back and forth between helping inside and making the odd drink order
you get up to help and he just points at the chair without a word
stuck there, all you can do is observe
usually you do it in secret, only flinging little peeks over at him when you think he's too distracted
but today - you just watch. and juyeon let's you.
whenever he catches you, his lips curl into just the smallest smile or he asks if you're ok and need him for anything
it's oddly intimate
finally, with the crowd gone, you tally up the cash in the register and juyeon wipes down the tables
he disappears for a moment only to come over to you with a small ball of fluff in his hands
"silver?" you ask, looking at the familiar white stripe down her back
juyeon nods and use one finger to caress her, she mewls and tucks her head into his skin
"she doesn't trust me yet." you say with a sad smile "i think you're the only one she likes right now."
he steps closer and outstretches his cupped hands
"she might hiss-" you start, but juyeon shakes his head as if he's well aware that she won't
"she's comfortable with you." he states like it's a fact "the person she's still timid around is eric because he's......"
juyeon pauses like he's embarrassed to say something mean about another person
"he's loud." you finish his sentence, adding a - "but he's just born that way."
you take in a small breath and lean closer, silver wiggles in juyeon's hands and turns to face you, big blue eyes borrowing into your own
when you let the pad of your finger grace the top of her head - she blinks slow
and then tucks herself back into juyeon
"see, she doesn't mind it." he looks at her with a fondness juyeon seems to reserve only for animals
his usual look of soft uninterest is gone, his eyes are full of care and love
you hate to admit the pang of jealousy that circles around your heart as he takes silver back to the other cats
is there a person in your life that you look at with those eyes? are they the luckiest person in the world?
juyeon waits as you lock the door, and he's still waiting when you're done and start your walk toward the train
"don't you live in the other direction?"
you start and then realize that that might sound weird, but, as always, juyeon seems unaffected
"it's dark out so i'll walk you to the train. you worked almost twelve hours so i'm worried."
you shake your head, stopping on the sidewalk
"no - it's ok, really! i don't want you to have to make the walk there and back-"
juyeon blinks at you slowly, for a second he looks just like sleepy and comfortable silver
"i'll walk you. i don't mind."
you resume your steps just because you think protesting more won't get you anywhere
as calm and serene as juyeon is, you can never really win against him. like a rock - unnervingly silent and impossible to move.
half way to the train the silence makes your nerves bubble up to the surface and you spit out the question that's been nagging you all day
"wha- what were you doing near the pet store this morning?"
you hold the strap of your backpack tightly as the words come out
"were you on a morning run or-"
juyeon tilts his head from the night sky to match your gaze
"i was looking for you."
for a second time you bring yourself to a full halt
"so - you went there on purpose?"
juyeon's confusion is as clear as day on his handsome features
"of course? i knew you'd pick something heavy and so i got up early to meet you. isn't that what you do? when you care about someone?"
"c-care about someone?"
possibly one hundred thoughts race through your mind at once and a hot feeling starts to crawl up your neck
care? as in ...... as in care about me as a co-worker? as a friend? as a silly person in his life that he assumes (correctly) will make silly decisions - what in the world is he talking about?
juyeon puts his hands in his pocket and, for the first time in your life, you see him bashfully drop his eyes to the ground
"i - i care about you because i like you." he lets himself after a moment find your gaze "isn't it obvious?"
"........obvious........"
the word drops from your lips in stunned disbelief and juyeon gives you a smile that you commit to memory forever
"y-yes? aren't i always being obvious around you?"
you try to think of the time that you've know juyeon - that you've known the soft spoken, considerate, polite, a little dense but otherwise incredibly smart, perfect man you know and no. no not once has he shown any "obvious" interest toward you
"i mean, no? i'm the blubbering idiot that's obviously in love with you!"
it comes out on reflex and juyeon's eyes go wide to match the moon that hangs above you two
"oh- oh! you - you also like me? i mean...love me....?"
clamping your hands over your mouth - you lurch forward in a run
juyeon calls your name in surprise, but you can't even turn to face him
you wave your hand above your head
"i'll see you tomorrow! sorry!"
juyeon does the kindest thing possible and doesn't follow after you
you spend the entirety of the train ride home staring at your phone screen completely zoned out
aren't i always being obvious around you?
"we're both just dumb.....that has to be it......"
eric is smiling from ear to ear when you come in and you know that means one thing: juyeon told him everything
the second you put your things down, eric is pushing you toward the storage room and shutting the door right behind you
"you can't come out until you're dating!"
the words are swallowed up in your mind to the sight of juyeon standing there
he looks at you and his long fingers tap against each other behind his back
"i-"
"i-"
you both start and then immediately bristle like a pair of newly introduced cats
"i didn't know!" you blurt out, heart starting to pick up a racing pace in your chest, "i didn't know you also liked me so if it's ok with you-"
juyeon, to no ones surprise, wears his heart on his sleeve
"if it's ok will you go out with me?"
he bends down at the waist, as if he's thanking you and not asking you to date him
you were about to ask the same thing, but the absurdity of the situation just elicits a hiccupping laugh from you
"y-yes" you say, repeating it through giggles "yes, i will!"
you are about to cover your mouth again, when juyeon's fingers wrap around your wrist delicately
and you look at him, as he starts to laugh too
when you open the door - eric gives you two an expectants
"well?"
juyeon opens his mouth, but nothing comes out - so you put your hands up
"you said we couldn't come out till we started dating and well...."
eric's shout of happiness makes all the cats stir, soft meows and pads of their paws against the glass
you're not sure when this crush started - when juyeon's started either - but you're happy to know that somehow down the line your hearts opened up to each other like this.
132 notes · View notes
warmau · 4 months
Text
I can't stop thinking about the news out of Palestine. Israel is sieging al Shifa hospital. Videos of people's limbs being severed off are haunting (graphic video tw). The hospital has ran out of fuel and 39 babies in incubators are fending for their lives by themselves, because Israel has stationed snipers around the hospital and is shooting all medical crew that walks into their sight.
First, the narrative was Israel would never bomb hospitals. Now, the hospitals are Hamas bases. Then, we respect journalists. Now, we have a fucking kill list of journalists because they are Hamas collaborators. First, we are not letting fuel in until the hostages are released. Now, we are not accepting the hostages back because that would stop our ground invasion and let Hamas win. And I could go on about every single lie they're making up. If you look up "Hamas rape" on google, the first link leads to Times of Israel saying Israel has found no forensic evidence of sexual violence, and only one eyewitness testimony out of 3.5k people attending the rave. If you Google "Hamas beheaded babies" the top links say they have no evidence for the claim besides word of mouth from extremist soldiers. Israeli extremists think about the ugliest goriest scene they can make out in their sick heads, tell that to a international journalist and they run away with it like it's gospel.
And children are being killed in the name of these lies. Thousands are being displaced in images that remind me of the pictures of Tantura 75 years ago, with their hands up so the tanks don't shoot them. Amputees are leaving the hospitals in wheelchairs hours after their surgeries because they are being shot at. Elders who survived the Nakba on 48 are having to walk towards Southern Gaza on foot (imagine walking from one end of your city to the other on foot), displaced again. People are cheering for the haunting images of white phosphorus bombs being dropped over Gaza. Gazan workers who were arrested in the West Bank are being thrust back into the bombings wearing numbered labels.
This is not normal. We are seeing the early stages of the settler colonial genocide of an indigenous population. Native leaders who have visited Gaza say its refugee camps look eerily like reservations. We can stop this. For the first time we are able to see wide scale accounts from the hands of the people suffering the genocide, and Israel is so scared of it they have cut all communications in Gaza.
This is our litmus test. I think we have never seen more clearly, with Palestine, Armenia, Congo and Sudan how colonialism has made our world a rotten place to live in.
The South African apartheid collapsed due to boycotts. We have to do everything in our power to stop Israel's hegemony. Even talking to a group of friends about Palestine changes the status quo. There's no world where we can live peacefully if Israel accomplishes their goals.
Keep yourself updated and share Palestinian voices. Muna El-Kurd said every tweet is like a treasure to them, because their voices are repressed on social media and even on this very app. Make it your action item to share something about the Palestinian plight everyday. Here are some resources:
Al Jazeera, Anadolu Agency, Mondoweiss
Boycott Divest Sanction Movement
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing protests and direct action against weapons factories across the US
Mohammed El-Kurd (twitter / instagram)
Muhammad Shehada (twitter)
Motaz Azaiza (instagram) - reporting directly from Gaza.
Hind Khudary - reporting directly from Gaza. Her husband and daughter moved South to run from the tanks but she stayed behind to record the genocide. The least we can do is not let her calls fall on deaf ears.
You can participate in boycotts wherever you are in the world, through BDS guidelines. Don't be overwhelmed by gigantic boycott lists. BDS explicitly targets only a few brands which have bigger impact. You can stop consuming from as many brands as you want, though, and by all means feel free to give a 1 star review to McDonalds, Papa John, Pizza Hut, Burger King and Starbucks. Right now, they are focusing on boycotting the following:
Carrefour, HP, Puma, Sabra, Sodastream, Ahava cosmetics, Israeli fruits and vegetables
Push for a cultural boycott - pressure your favorite artist to speak out on Palestine and cancel any upcoming performances on occupied territory (Lorde cancelled her gig in Israel because of this. It works.)
If you can, participate in direct action or donate.
Palestine Action works to shut down Israeli weapons factories in the UK and USA, and have successfully shut down one of their firms in London.Some of the activists are going on trial and are calling for mobilizing on court.
Palestinian Youth Movement is organizing direct actions to stop the shipping of wars to Israel. Follow them.
Educate yourself. Read into Palestinian history and the occupation. You can't common sense people out of decades of propaganda. If your arguments crumble when a zionist brings up the "disengagement of Gaza", you have to learn more.
Read Decolonize Palestine. They have 15 minute reads that concisely explain the occupation (and its colonial roots) and debunk popular myths, including pinkwashing.
Read on Palestine. Here's an amazing masterpost.
Verso Book Club is giving out free books on Palestine (I personally downloaded Ten Myths about Israel by Ilan Pappe. If you still believe in the two states solution, this book by an Israeli professor debunks it).
Call your representatives. The Labour Party in the UK had an emergency meeting after several councilors threatened to resign if they didn't condemn Israeli war crimes. Calling to show your complaints works, even more if you live in a country that funds genocide.
FOR PEOPLE IN THE USA: USCPR has developed this toolkit for calls, here's a document that autosends emails to your representatives and here's a toolkit by Ceasefire in Gaza NOW!
FOR PEOPLE IN EUROPE: Here's a toolkit by Voices in Europe for Peace targeting the European Parliament and one specific for almost all countries in Europe, including Germany, Ireland, Poland, Denmark, Sweden, Netherlands, Greece, Norway, Italy, Portugal, Spain, Finland, Austria, Belgium Romania and Ukraine
FOR PEOPLE IN THE UK: Friends of Al-Aqsa UK and Palestine Solidarity UK have made toolkits for calls and emails
FOR PEOPLE IN AUSTRALIA: Here's a toolkit by Stand With Palestine
FOR PEOPLE IN CANADA: Here's a toolkit by Indepent Jewish Voices for Canada
Join a protest. Here's a constantly updating list of protests:
Global calendar
Another global calendar (go to the instragram of the organizers to confirm your protest)
USA calendar
Australia calendar
Feel free to add more.
30K notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆[nostalgic] summer romance!au mingi birthday present for an atiny! | other ateez aus
your friend had swore up and down that your summer getaway plan was going to be exactly that 
a getaway
in your mind the definition of ‘a getaway’ was crystal clear
you and your close friend were going to rent a room together on the coastline of the beach and spend an entire week just enjoying each others company and soaking up the sun
so why two new additions had been made to this “getaway” was beyond your comprehension
why one of them was a total stranger was perhaps the most baffling part of it all
“his name is song mingi and he’s yunho’s best friend! and yunho swears he’s cute - so really i think it’s a great opportunity for the both of us!”
they smile at you with zero shame and you blink back
“no, this is a great opportunity for you - because out of the both of us - you are the one in love with yunho and i’m just a bystander dragged into the rut.”
the lack of humor in your voice seemingly floats over their head because they burst into a giggle and swat at your shoulder
“i’m not IN LOVE........not yet........not until i know that he feels the same w-oh my god they’re coming! turn around!”
they pivot you but your shoulders and you fold your hands across your chest as a reflex
you are not happy about this and you are more than ready to ruin the mood so everyone knows that
until you look up and behind yunho’s gleaming grin and broad shoulders is a person that you swear cannot be real
he’s nearly as tall, and nearly as wide as yunho
with sharp edged features that you’ve only seen on high fashion models
his eyes are dark and curtained by long lashes that are the same color as his long bangs sans for the messy but perfectly placed blonder highlights in between the strands
he’s holding one duffel bag over his shoulder with ease and a pair of glasses are tucked into the worn collar of a white basic tshirt
your throat suddenly feels dry and you can’t even remember your own name
“oh! this is mingi by the way, thanks for letting him come along!”
yunho’s eyes shift down to you and you do your best to return his gaze without toppling over
“r-right.”
the train ride is only about an hour and a half long, but it feels like it takes forever
your friend and yunho seemingly have the world to talk about - they’re the quintessential ‘when will they?’ kind of slow burn that everyone knows is bound to happen
but you and mingi are........nothing.
you just met, and you aren’t great at new people and from the way he’s kept his head against the glass and eyes down to his feet this whole time, he isn’t either
the rural countryside comes into view at some point, the glistening blue waters reflect back at you
for a split moment you feel excitement again - here’s what your summer was supposed to really be about - the ocean and the sun
you sit up to get a better view and your keys slip out from your pocket
you don’t notice, staring out at the landscape as the train rolls on, but your keys stop at the edge of mingi’s sandal
he picks them up by the puppy keychain and smiles to himself because it’s cute
extending a hand out to you, he says your name, and you turn to him still a little wide eyed 
he thinks quietly to himself, that you’re cute too.
the ‘room’ your friend said they rented turns out to be an apartment. there are two bedrooms and a giant living room that leads out onto a view of the beach
you split off for the first hour or so and just as you close the door you turn to see your friend face down on the bed
“you might have been right, i think i am in love with yunho.”
you sit at the edge and pat their head, they flip over and tug you down beside them
“but what about you? any thoughts on mingi?”
you contemplate just blurting out the truth - he’s so hot where has he been all my life? 
but you’re still a little ticked off about the whole situation so you roll your eyes in response
“just make sure you confess to yunho or something so this whole trip doesn’t go to waste.”
you get up and busy yourself with unpacking to avoid the conversation 
and it works because for some time it’s just you and your friend and playing music you both like and showing off the things you brought with you and taking silly photos
and then dinner rolls around and you’re once again in front of mingi (and yunho) and you realize that this trip is far from what you had in mind
“so what should we go eat?”
yunho asks as you all stand outside in the warm evening air
mingi has his hands in his pockets and doesn’t offer any kind of suggestion, but your friend pulls their phone out and they and yunho stand so close together that you wonder if they even care about the heat 
you don’t know what the feeling in your stomach is watching them 
you’re not jealous, per say, because you love your friend and yunho has never been much more than an acquaintance
but it’s not overflowing happiness or relief either 
it’s something between anxiety, discomfort, and hunger. 
you feel like your friend one upped you for some guy and now the other guy who was supposed to be some kind of “consolation” for it all wasn’t even interested in you
when you all start walking in the direction of some place your friend found, you stop and lie
“i feel a little sick, i’m going to get a water on my way back to the apartment and just sleep early.”
your friend is concerned and offers to go back with you, but you tell them it’s fine. it’s just five minutes back.
you’re in front of the convenience store when a voice behind you asks
“are you sure you’re ok?”
you turn and the low pitch belongs to mingi, who is standing there with actual worry etched on his face
it kind of shocks you so for a moment you stare at him and he leans forward
“do you think you have a fever?”
you shake yourself mentally and put your hands up like you’ve been caught in your lie
“n-no i’m fine! i just.......well i’m sure you know those two are here for each other so i thought i’d let them have some time alone.”
mingi seems to process what you’ve said and then opens his mouth knowingly
“oh you mean - you mean yunho an-”
“yes, i mean this trip is kind of for them to just you know. get on with it.”
mingi cracks a half smile and the way it sits unevenly on his face is somehow even more beautiful than you think is humanly possible
the door opens and you two walk in, greeted with a half wave from the teenager behind the register
“are you really not hungry then?”
mingi asks and you two stop in front of the freezer full of sandwiches and other on the go snacks
you hover over one of those packs of cheese sticks and then groan, knowing that one egg is not enough of a dinner for you
“will you judge me if i get a bunch of snacks?”
“why would i judge you? it’s summer and you should enjoy yourself.”
he sounds genuine, and when you come to the counter with everything sweet you could find, you rummage for your card only to see that mingi has already paid for everything
he picks up three bags with one hand and you manage to grab the last fourth one before he can
when you get back, you spread out your food in the living room and mingi sits down cross legged across from you
he opens the beer he bought and for a moment it’s just the sound of you two eating
somehow a conversation starts, just about what you two do - the who, what, where kind of stuff you do to break ice
when mingi says he’s studying his masters in math you’re pleasantly surprised and say something about he’s what you need - you’re horrible with numbers
you don’t see the way he shifts the beer in his hands with a little smile
it quiets down a little, as the time crawls by and your friend and yunho don’t seem to be coming back
at one point you start cleaning, when mingi suddenly goes 
“i want to apologize.”
the wrapper in your hand falls to the floor and you look at him with a confused expression
there’s a small red tint under his eyes
“it seems like this was supposed to be a trip for you and your friend and ... and we just crashed it?”
you don’t have an answer for him right away and the awkward tension in the air makes him sit up, crack his knuckles one by one and you let the sound resound through your head
“you’re not the person who should be apologizing to me.”
you look at the pile of open snacks and uncapped bottle of sweet soda
“and to be honest, they should apologize to you too. i’ll do it for them and say i’m sorry you had to give up a week of your time to be here.”
mingi shakes his head 
“it’s -” he starts and then when he looks at you, leaning over a little closer you smell cologne, and alcohol
“i didn’t mean to upset you.”
his lips are slightly glossier than you remember them being in the sunlight
but before anything else happens, the door unlocks and in stumble two more giggling bodies
you and mingi pull away and the first day of this ‘getaway’ ends just like that
the next two days are kind of uneventful
the majority of the time you’re at the beach, spread out under the umbrella while yunho and your friend chase each other up and down the sand
mingi doesn’t really come out, he says he wants to go on a walk instead and shows up only in the evening 
in the middle of the week - you go to your usual spot far from the waters edge and set up your little nook
you lay stomach down on the towel until a shadow blocks your view
“do you want to build a sand castle?”
you look up at mingi, all his hair is pushed under a backwards baseball hat and he’s holding a small brown paper bag 
“ok.”
the sand on your knees is hot and mingi turns the bag upside down beside you
spilling out into a pile are various different seashells and rocks, a couple of big flower petals too
“oh - where did you get these?”
mingi likes the way your eyes start to glitter when you pick through the little treasures
“i was collecting them on my walks.”
you start to dig, but mingi stops you with a gentle touch on your wrist
“i think we should map out the base first.”
he picks up a stick nearby and starts to outline a large rectangle 
you get up and follow him around, watching him silently put down the plans for your castle
“i think this size will be good for us, we can build other layers on top and it shouldn’t sink.”
“woah, you’re so smart! you truly are a math major.”
you compliment without a thought, looking around for where to start digging again
mingi drops down beside you and suddenly says
“no one calls me that.”
“a math major?”
he laughs, “smart.” 
“really? but you are. i mean obviously, any one so logical is definitely considered smart.”
mingi is silent as he lumps together some of the sand
“i think most people just see what i look like, rather than how i think or what i feel. so they see me and i don’t look-”
you startle him when you push over your little pile of sand and shake your head
“you look like mingi, and mingi is smart - so you look smart. people that can’t see that are just hypocrites.”
you groan when you realize you have to start over on your pile 
you don’t see the way mingi’s hands still on his and the way he’s smiling wider than he has since this trip has started
you guys manage to build a half decent castle, you decorate it with mingi’s finds, and then take some pictures
your friend and yunho are nowhere to be found and the day just keeps getting hotter
so you and mingi go off to get lunch in some shady little cafe and you ask mingi to show you where he’s been going on his walks
just like on the first night, you and him fall easily into conversation
you have different interests and tastes and your strengths lie in polar opposite subjects but nothing feels awkward anymore
he makes you laugh, and you make him laugh even harder
you know about music he’s never heard of, and he knows about some of the plants you pass by that you can’t even tell the difference between
he puts his hands over your head when a light evening rain starts to come down and you start pocketing different shiny rocks you come across because “he found so many for the sand castle so you should find some too, you know for him.......or in case we want to build another castle tomorrow.”
by the time you get back to the apartment with him, the sun has welcomed the moon and your friend and yunho are there - perfectly content without you two
but when you show up you’re pulled into one room and mingi is pulled into the other
your friend is rambling about all the things they did, you don’t really hear them because your own mind has been fogged by one person
mingi with a watermelon seed stuck to his cheek, mingi and his ability to recite the timetable to you on command, mingi with his shirt hiked up his stomach when he tries to air out the sweat
by the time they’re done and you’re laying in bed - your head doesn’t feel any clearer
there’s no way i already like him this much?
the next two days, are more eventful
you don’t even notice your friend and yunho’s bubble anymore because you feel like you’ve created your own
mingi seems brighter too and you don’t want to give yourself too much credit, but you hope whatever it is blossoming in your chest is also rooting into his
it’s almost perfect
two days of talking, laughing, watching and learning about each other, making a daisy crown for mingi that’s a little too big and ends up around his neck, a little dry from the unforgiving sun
it feels like it’s too good to be true 
especially when he embarrassingly admits he doesn’t know how to make daisy crowns but he ties the stem of one of the flowers around your finger
but then its the end of the trip. the last day.
your friend comes in around dinner to say that they’re going to set of fireworks at the beach with yunho
you and mingi look up from a rather lazy game of connect four
mingi is much better than you but at some point you’re waiting for him to let you win at least one round
you look at your friend with a smile, you are about to tell them to go have fun when you see something on the side of their neck 
and the little bubble you thought you and mingi were in bursts
mingi’s voice echoes out - “should we go with you?”
“sure! you guys should come! yunho is already at the beach!”
things move fast, one second you’re sitting in front of mingi under the air conditioning and he’s tilting back his head to laugh and you are so happy with where this is going
a failed getaway with a friend might have turned into an attempt of a summer love
but then your friend and yunho have been doing the kinds of things that come with summer love 
while you and mingi have spent three solid days talking
which is fine, you think, if you had meet anywhere else
now as he stands at the shore with yunho - watching the bursts of fireworks in the sky
and the strong outline of his back looks smaller at a distance
a rush of feelings builds up in your stomach
we are probably never going to talk after this trip, i never asked him if he’s already dating someone - why wouldn’t he be? he’s so wonderful there has to be someone in his life, and when did i stop being upset with my friend for dragging me out here to third wheel and now get my heart broken?
you feel childish because you want to march over and tell your friend - “you shouldn’t have invited your crush and his friend on this trip! this was supposed to be for us!” 
and you want to look at mingi and say “do you like me too? i can’t stand the idea that you don’t.”
but you’re an adult and you do none of those things and when mingi jogs over to try and get you to join them by the water
you do it, taking his outstretched hand, thinking for a split second that if he keeps holding it there might be hope
but he drops it when he passes you a firework with a smile that both fills you with joy and pain at the same time
it’s like you’re counting the seconds of this last night, waiting, looking at mingi from the corner of your eye
your friend and yunho slip away and toward the end of the beach. at some point you think you see them kiss.
you look at mingi again but his eyes are fixed up against the point where the sky and the ocean meet
you’re still counting seconds when he doesn’t do anything but smile and say goodnight when you and him return first
you pack your things and keep anxiously hoping the door will open
but it only does later into the night, when you’re under the covers, and the giggling sound of love isn’t coming from the person you wish it was
the next morning you avoid eye contact, you go get breakfast by yourself and you feel stupid when the cashier asks where the tall, nice looking guy is at
at the train station back home, mingi tries to make conversation and you mumble that you slept really bad and have a headache
he says he’ll buy you some water and you just step a little further away with a firm but still small ‘no’.
your friend and yunho don’t notice, or maybe they just don’t care, as they cuddle into each other more blatantly than before
on the ride back, your friend nudges you to sit next to mingi with what they think is a flirty little wink
you pretend to sleep the whole ride back and mingi looks down into the pages of some book as he re-reads the same passage over and over
your summer getaway leaves a sour taste in your mouth
the moment you get home, your friend tries to tell you the story of how their confession to yunho went
you feel horrible and also completely justified when you stop them short with
“you did something really messed up and you think i care about yunho right now?”
they look confused and you don’t want to explain yourself because you’d rather be in a bad mood
you tell them you’ll call them later, which you don’t intend on doing at all, as you throw your bag to the floor try to force yourself to forget the last seven days ever happened
your friend must have finally figure out what they had done - sending a long winded message about how they were selfish and horrible and were wrong for messing up your planned vacation
you leave them on read for an hour and then decide that you can’t be like this forever so you text back that it’s ok and that you’re actually happy for them
and you are. it’s just you’re sad at the same time for yourself too.
what you don’t expect is that your friend asks to see you the next day, they want to talk in person and you want to tell them it’s really fine, they should spend time with yunho now
but you agree out of politeness and also out of the hope that you can finally spill to them how heartbroken you actually feel
liking someone after knowing them for a week is pathetic, but you’re in your human right to feel torn up about it
when you show up, you expect to see your friend glowing with the kiss of a new romance but all you see is mingi
“hi”
you look at him and then over your shoulder to see who in the world he’s talking to
“i heard you and your friend talked about the trip?”
you turn back and nod robotically, at a lose of what to say
“sorry i asked them to invite you out....i just thought it’d be weird if i called you myself from an unknown number.”
it’s not as hot as it was during the trip anymore, plus it’s past the heatwave point of midday and so you aren’t sure why you are sweating so much
“it’s fine. um- is there something you need from me?”
the way his forehead crinkles confuses you, he looks a bit taken aback at your question but what other reason would there be for him see you
“n-no. well i guess maybe...” he tries to think of the words “i just wanted to see you because when the trip ended it felt like you were angry with me?”
oh, it’s the quintessential i feel bad so please say something to make feel better kind of thing. i didn’t think he would be that kind of person.
“no mingi, i am not angry with you. is that all?”
“you’re not angry, but you’re not happy with me either?”
“what do you mean by that?”
now you’re confused because you’re pretty sure you’ve given him the answer he wants most to hear.
mingi struggles, it’s obvious from the weird posture of his tall frame
“i mean........you don’t like me, right?”
he makes an expression that you’ve only seen once on his face. the same one when he was telling you people don’t often use the word “smart” to describe him.
it’s a look of failure, like he’s disappointed you.
you think that’s what pushes you forward, you don’t like that look on him at all.
“of course i like you. i like you so much i kind of feel a little insane about it.”
the expression shifts and his eyes go round 
“r-really?”
“yes.” you realize you’ve just exposed your feelings so there’s no reason to hold back now “i keep thinking, why do i like this guy after knowing him for a week, but i don’t think that matters. i like you because you’re you.”
you feel your heartbeat in your ears, and quickly add
“you don’t have to feel pressured by it though. you don’t have to like me back.”
“of course i like you back.”
a couple of younger kids run past you two on the sidewalk, pushing you a bit and mingi grabs you by the waist to pull you toward him
you separate as quickly as you connect but the feeling of his touch makes something inside you squirm
“i - i didn’t know you’d feel the same.” he starts “because, statistically, it  would be more probable that you didn’t. because of the short time frame and also because i know how you were feeling about your frie-”
you think the squirming feeling goes up from your waist to your head
because you lean and kiss mingi before he can keep rambling
the sourness that had been stuck in your teeth for the days after the trip melts away. 
mingi tastes kind of like candy.
when he kisses you back you think you’re dreaming, back to the - this is too good to be true - bubble of your trip
when you pull away you stutter out for him to finish his sentence
“oh well i was saying like you know ....... by the numbers it would be more likely you didn’t like me-”
“i’m bad with numbers, i thought i told you that.”
he bursts into laughter, takes the back of your neck and kisses you again.
when you tell your friend about what happens later they are so happy that you wish you could have given them the same reaction when they told you about yunho
then again, when they try to say “if i had never ruined our getaway-” you cut them off with a deadpan glare
either way, the summer turns on its head once more 
and the mingi you met for the first time on that trip just proves to be more amazing than you expect
just as attentive, caring, and selfless - but a new side comes out to
from the way he digs his nails into the parts of your skin that you get shy about, how he really is insatiable about certain things 
from blushing smiles in public - mannered hands and politeness that wins over the charm of everyone around you
to a kind of desperation for love, he just overflows with it and you feel like you can swim in the amount of affection he shows you when you are alone
yunho and your friend ask you two to go on a double date one time and about halfway through mingi just looks at yunho and yunho’s ears go red as he tells you two it’s ok if you need to leave early........
you wave at your friend before mingi is whisking you away. you think you see them just gape back. 
and even in the distant future, when you and him are both saddled with the responsibility of life even more than before
when you and him are so busy that summer trips are rare to come by
he still comes home from work with a big smile, opens up the pockets of his jacket or fishes something out of his jeans
little treasures that catch his eye in the midst of a chaotic schedule that remind him of you
you drop it into a glass jar, after giving mingi a kiss, the label that’s started to peel says
‘for our sand castle.......whenever we get to build another one.’
285 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance! hendery another late as all hell birthday au! but happy bday dery~! find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung | renjun | jeno | xiaojun | shotaro
"the air conditioner is broken in my apartment."
you cross your arms and jut your hip out with an amused gaze
"uhuh and the world is ending on thursday. what do you really want hendery?
he wipes the back of his neck and shoves his palm into your face with the evidence that he's been sweating for hours
you pull back just in time with a face
"im serious, my place feels like the pits of hells."
"i think that's fitting."
you don't uncross your arms and hendery groans
"c'mon, please just let me in for an hour of relief."
hendery looks unbearably long
taking up most of your carpet and then some as he lays starfish in your cool living room
you had been watching something on your tv, absentmindedly wasting your weekend away when he'd come ringing on your doorbell
technically, you aren't "enemies" or anything - you've been neighbors for well over half a year
it's just something about him irks you.
maybe it's the way he has one of those obnoxious doormats that doesn't stick to the ground so if you aren't looking and step on it - you'll go sliding down the hall like you're on ice
or the fact that you noticed he doesn't properly know the difference between fabric softener and detergent so he just pours them into the machine when he's in the laundry room with you
actually, you grind your teeth yourself, it's none of those - it's the fact that he thinks he's entitled to everyone else's hospitality and never gives any of his ow-
"can you throw me a pillow?"
he outstretches his toned arm and you ignore the way his muscles flex as you chuck one off your sofa at him with the intent to hurt
but he catches it effortlessly and without anything close to a thanks
he's a brat. that's why we don't get along.
"can i change the channel?"
"no."
"you aren't even watching the tv."
"and this isn't even your house."
hendery rolls over onto his back and gives you a glistening white smile that you're both envious and pissed off at.
"hey, why do you hate me so much - could it be that you secretly want all of thi-"
he runs his hand down the line of his body and that's the straw on the camel's back for you
"get out."
"oh come o-"
the door shuts with a heavy, cruel thud and you are left in peace again.
you stare at the pillow on your carpet and walk up and down the spot where you can still feel the heat from his body.
what a weirdo. well at least he won't bother me again.
you're in the shower the next time someone rings on your doorbell.
you half expect it to be the deliveryman so you peek your head around the curtain to yell out that they can leave the package at the door but all you get in response is another doorbell ring
you huff and grab a towel, wrap it around yourself and trek out with slippery footprints left in trail as you get to the door
"who is it?"
the doorbell rings again
maybe it's the building manager? only she's such a hardass about things and wouldn't just give up after the first ring.
you sigh and unlock the door to open it - fully sure now that it's the manager - when all you see in front of you is
hendery
he looks you up and down and you stare back in horror
seemingly unaffected by your appearance he points over his back
"our air conditioners still busted is it ok if-"
"NO!"
you shut the door again and hear hendery yelp in surprise, then add "you could have crushed my fingers!" for good measure
you stand there and grit your teeth - glaring at the door as if you're glaring at him
"hendery. im not letting you in here anymore!"
"but whhhhhhhy - it's so hot, it's like one hundred degrees out and kun can't fix the damn thing so im dying pleaseeeeeeee spare some mercy!"
you harden in your resolve
"no! if you want free AC, go stick your head in the freezer section of the grocery store!"
you think you hear his footsteps shuffle away and the tension releases in your shoulders
you head back into the shower and stand under the water as you try and figure out what exactly made you this mad this time
obviously, it was because he's coming here to annoy me.
the angel on your shoulder quips
but the demon on your other shakes its head
aren't you mad he wasn't all flustered seeing you like this?
the self-conversation is bizarre, and you shut off the water to stop it
when you dry off you decide that the summer heat is getting to you, what does it matter to me what hendery thinks? 
you need to go get some ice cream and regain your dignity
you’re humming to yourself, trying to decide between a tub of plain vanilla or the box of mango popsicles 
when you hear the door to the freezer beside you open
at first you don’t look up, but then you hear a loud sigh and you peek from the corner of your eye just for your gaze to fall on the one person you really - really - do not want to see right now
“hendery. what are you doing?”
he moves aside a carton of cool whip to rest his head on the shelf inside
“i’m doing what you told me to do. sticking my head into a freezer.”
you look around to see if any employees are milling about 
and if they are, you fully intend on abandoning this conversation so no one incorrectly thinks you and hendery have anything to do with each other
but don’t you?
an evil voice in your head suddenly chimes
look at him - doing exactly what you said. isn’t that kind of ........ cute?
you are so dumbfounded by your own inner dialogue that you scoff and hendery raises an eyebrow
“why are you scoffing, first i can’t use the ac in your place and now i can’t even do this? you’re the one-”
you grab the carton of vanilla and let the freezer door shut hard enough to shake the others beside it
hendery pops his head and squints his eyes
“you can do whatever you want hendery.”
“does that me-”
you extend your hand and point directly between his eyes
“let me rephrase that: you can do whatever you want, hendery, as long as it is not in my presence.”
you are half way to the cash register when you suddenly stop
you look over your shoulder, and a part of you seriously expects to see him there again
pouting and whining and annoying you again
but hendery is nowhere to be seen and you pretend the weird drop in your stomach is from the mean look a random lady throws your way for blocking her path to the produce 
hendery doesn’t show up for the next couple of days
you say you notice it only because you’re enjoying the fact that he took your last warning to heart
but in reality, as the vanilla carton of ice cream you bought empties little by little, you realize you’re just searching for him for another reason
one you don’t think you want to confront yet
then one day, when you’re sitting beside the window and eating the last of your ice cream you see him
he’s sitting in the little park across the street, right under the water fountain, and a group of kids are circling around him 
they’re all counting and laughing and the sound makes it up into your ears
hendery suddenly jumps up, shaking the water for him hair and starts chasing one of the kids 
they run all around the park and hendery purposely slows down so that he can’t catch them
you roll your eyes, what’s he doing playing with kids at his age?
and then the kid he was chasing falls, scrapping hands and knees on the hard ground
hendery immediately hovers over, your spoon stays in your mouth as you watch him scoop the little body up into his hands and rush over to where you presume the kids mother or aunt or older sister is
the other children form a curious circle, the ice cream starts to melt down the side of your spoon as you concentrate on the way the one who fell is still clinging onto hendery’s sleeve as their wounds are bandaged up
hendery looks up for a brief second and you back away from the windowsill on instinct
the carton of ice cream drops down beside you
it happens again, this unexpected view of hendery from a distance
you’re coming home from a meeting with a friend and he’s across the street at the bus stop
at first you just look to make sure it’s him, but that posture and grin as he stares down at his phone is a dead giveaway to his identity
so you tell yourself to just keeping going - out of fear that you’ll somehow make eye contact
then, you see him suddenly bend down
at his feet is a local stray, she rubs up against his bare legs and hendery scratches behind her ear 
if you remember correctly, that same stray has never liked you, hissing even when you had tried to put out a saucer of tuna
so you stop walking and watch as it nearly splays down over his feet and hendery laughs and tickles it 
and you hate to say it but you think he looks almost.........cute.
the bus comes puffing down the hill though and hendery picks the cat up carefully and sets it safely in the nearby bushes of another building
before he can turn around in time to see you, the bus blocks both your views
you hurry along and try to distract yourself with the thoughts of what you’ll have for dinner
summer is at its worst when you wake up and check to see that the temperature is forecasted to be 99 degrees
you turn the ac on and sit down to think of what you can do in such horrible weather
when you lean down to press your forehead to the cool surface of your table you think
should i let hendery in, is his ac still broken?
you jolt at the thought. 
recently, you’ve been thinking about hendery a lot. way more than you ever have before.
you’d been watching some b-listed romcom the night before and when the lead had fell on his butt trying to impress the girl of his dreams you’d akin it to something he would do
it was downright unsettling 
the sun has cursed you - you reckon - that’s what it is 
ever since you met him you knew you two wouldn’t get along, yet here you are sprouting up the thought of actually inviting him over if his ac really still is broken
you groan
no, it’s not because you care about hendery or have suddenly grown feelings for him. you’re just a concerned neighbor. plus hendery lives with kun and you.........like kun well enough.
it’s enough of an excuse that gets you up and down the hall, knocking on the door 
hendery doesn’t answer, but kun does - and so does a gust of strong, cool air
“oh. you fixed your ac.”
you say before you can think and kun raises an eyebrow
“fixed? it was never broken.”
“oh.”
you blink up and into kun’s confused expression
before either of you can follow up with a question in the awkward, tension-filled silence
hendery appears behind kun with his bedhead and no shirt. he doesn’t see you as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and asks if kun can make him an omelet
you wave without a word and rush back to your own apartment before hendery has the time to notice
you hear kun say something about how hendery needs to learn how to crack eggs himself before the door shuts
your heart is beating ever so erratically in your chest. at the kind of speed that you would deem humiliating.
but, if the ac was never broken then why was hendery always bothering me about it?
the devil pops back up onto your shoulder with a grin big and red like candy
maybe, he just wanted an excuse to be around you.
you spend the rest of the day debating this.
first off, hendery did seem like the type that would annoy his crush in highschool with weird nicknames or notes passed around during class
that is in highschool  - you’re both adults now. there was no way he would still be doing the same thing
then again, this was hendery you were talking about, whose common language and overall vibe seemed to work best with children and animals
you try to convince yourself that that’s exactly the issue
why am i suddenly liking a guy who acts like .... that?
by “that” you had meant childish and weird - but maybe “that” was slowly turning into kind, fun, and really easy to love
the thoughts clog up your brain, mixed with the miserable heat, you just give up and go to bed early
you hope you wake up with a clarity of mind
instead, you wake up to a note slipped under your door
you pick it up and know who it is from immediately.
guess he really isn’t above highschool level flirting afterall?
you read it and it says that hendery wants to meet you in front of the freezer you two talked at last
half of you says you need to keep face and just not go. 
the other half is sick and tired of being single.
hendery is wearing basketball shorts and a plain grey hoodie when you show up
“a lot of layers for someone who said their air conditioner is broken.”
is your opener and hendery turns to you, first smiling and then letting his face fall into a serious expression
it’s the first time you’ve ever seen his eyes not twinkle with some form of mischief
“yeah - i - kun told me you stopped by.”
now you feel your own playfulness wear off and while clearing your throat you wait for him to continue
“i’m sorry about lying. and im sorry about always being a nuisance to you.”
you wait two beats and hendery stays quiet
“anything else?”
you can tell he doesn’t really know what you mean by the question, you know he’s racking his brain for the ‘right’ answer
“i mean - um.........i’m sorry for being....um........rude?”
he tries and in response, you can only jut out your hip and roll your eyes
by that, hendery can tell that he hasn’t said what you’re wanting to hear so he tries again
“i’m sorry for acting like a chi-”
“hendery.”
he straightens up and stares into your eyes with concentration
“why did you lie in the first place? that’s what i want to hear. what was the reason.”
again, you can tell the cogs in his head are turning, and you start to second guess yourself
maybe he didn’t just do it because he wanted to be around me - maybe he really just wanted to annoy someone? was he just.....
“kun said i should apologize, i shouldn’t bother people just because i’m bored.”
........bored
you think you hear something break, maybe a glass bottle in another aisle over
but the ringing sound in your ears is actually just the fragments of your own heart
“right. you were just bored.”
you repeat and a shadow casts itself over your face. hendery reads the switch fast and reaches out to touch your shoulder
you shake it off and turn to leave, as there isn’t much else you can say
this time you don’t look back to see if he’s following you. you don’t think twice about the time you’ve spent changing your opinion on him and you decide that afterall, you knew that you and hendery just would never get along. in any kind of way.
“i’m sorry.”
his voice comes from over your shoulder before you can push your way out of the exit door of the grocery store
“kun also said i shouldn’t lie. i was bothering you because i like you. i was acting like a five year old with a crush because that’s the only way i’ve ever been with the people i like. i know it’s dumb and i know i really made you mad so i- i’m sorry.”
before you can turn, hendery tries to move past you and run away first
you catch him by the back of his hoodie and he freezes up when you tug him back toward you
“i’ll do anything ok, seriously, i’m sorry i will try my best to stop liking you because i know it’s a burden please i-”
he’s rambling and rambling and you two are blocking the way for people to get out of the store
so wordlessly and with more force than you mean to, slam your arms around him from behind
you bury your head into the fabric 
“you talk so much. i think i like you too.”
if you weren’t hugging him, you might have been able to see the physical joy that spreads over hendery’s face
it lights up every part of his features and he scrambles to turn in you hold to hug you back
he leans in, eager and overflowing to try and kiss you, but you put a hand up against his mouth
“we’re still in the store.”
he nods, saying something muffled and you push him toward the exit. someone scuttles past you and mutters something about how you both are being so annoying right now
when you finally get back to your place, you tell hendery that he can try again - with the kiss of course - but this time you want a genuine try and not some kind of messy puppy slobber which is what you imagine he had in mind
hendery feigns offence, but when he takes your face in his hands, he’s gentle and you’re thankful that his mouth tastes like fresh mint
“did you plan for this to happen?” 
you joke later as you two cuddle against each other with your ac on blast
“of course. i knew you’d fall for my charms one day.”
you playfully pinch him and hendery cries out like it seriously hurts 
you laugh, the two of you laugh together, but you can’t say he’s wrong
at the end of the day - somehow - you did end up falling for some kind of charm
and that charm stays with hendery, even as you two grow older together 
and being neighbors turns to dating turns to living together 
and the one summer where your shared air conditioner actually breaks and you two find yourself standing in the freezer section with the doors open
trying to take in as much free cold air as possible
you look at hendery’s reflection in the glass with a big smile
“babe, you were so smart back then. this is way better than an ac.”
he chuckles at his own corny joke before you can
you want to quip back, but in the moment all you can do is see young hendery in front of you
sticking his head in between cool whip and ice cream just because you told him to
“hey - i love you.”
you blurt out, even though you’ve said it way too many times before
hendery smiles, says “i love you too” 
and draws a heart in the condensation on the door
you grin and then under it hendery adds word that makes your eyes go wide
“forever?” 
264 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆: pastry chefs/bakers!au taeyong a little bit of a rivals au, but mostly oblivious pining that stretches for way too long like please just tell each other you're in love. also i dont know anything about baking sweets so...ignore any of my mistakes.. tw: worrying about your career lol, drinking
in your first year of culinary school, you realize cooking is a language full of its own rules and century-old traditions.
cooking is like french, or pashto, or russian
but baking - is a completely different dialect
baking exists in the world of cooking, but it sets its own path that you end up falling in love with
and your once dream of becoming an executive chef at some fancy, flashy restaurant turns into a dream of owning your own bakery
a place unique to the skills you start to hone with a vicious passion that leaves most of the other students around you confused
you find out one of your professors has had a decorated career in pastry making and immediately seek him out to take you as an understudy
and that's when you meet lee taeyong
he's got big eyes like molds full of warm chocolate and stands thin in frame under the white uniforms you all wear
in his front pocket is a wrapper from the milk buns they sell down the street
he's not intimidating at all
but when you get closer to him you smell the familiar scent of sugar and you start to understand why he's there too
"im here to talk to the professor about becoming his apprentice."
you say it because the silence between you two is awkward
also - you want to read him
you want to see what his reaction will be, you wonder if he'll snort at you and tell you to back off, he was here first
but all taeyong does is bat his eyes at you like a baby deer caught in the headlights
"oh. me too."
although you both live in the realm of sweets - you and taeyong are on opposite ends of the spectrum in every way possible
for one, you are excitable and energetic and want to get elbow deep into any ingredient, familiar or foreign
taeyong is reserved and usually sleepy during the early morning classes. he observes and takes every step of his routine with caution.
your fundamentals are the same - cookies, cakes, and bars. these are staples to any baker or patisserie's book
but everything else you and taeyong make couldn't be more different
you always lean into the comfort kind of dessert: brownies, puddings and pies. you can make a doughnut fancy - but why should you? the most important part is that it tastes like a place somewhere you know.
but taeyong is a scientist, a designer, and completely out of your loop.
he pushes forward crème brûlée's, strawberry eclairs, and makes meringue's with his eyes closed.
when you put forward your desserts, one always looks like you could get it at a street fair and the other looks like it's only available for a week at some snotty european bistro
you sometimes don't know what in the world he is even making until it's done
and the first time you learn what cream of tartar is - taeyong looks at you with the same innocence he always has painted on his face - "oh, i use this all the time."
you won't lie - in the beginning you were a bit disheartened by the gap between you two
and it would have been easy to think that just because his ingredients were more expensive and sometimes harder to pronounce that he was the more deserving apprentice
but you managed to crush that thought for all your time at school because sure he could do his own thing and you could do yours
and you could both be great at it
"except, what if you like apply for the same job?"
you ruffle through your sparse choices of outfits for graduation. all of them are not as great as you thought they were when you bought them.
"hmmm, you mean me and taeyong?"
your friend who said they'd come over and help you pick is not doing that at all.
instead, she's sitting cross legged on your bed and looking at one the polaroid's on your wall.
she taps a nail on the one that has you, taeyong, and your shared professor on it
you join her and look at taeyongs small face on the photograph
"i mean i doubt it. he's probably going to go work in paris or milan."
"he has the looks for it, that's for sure."
you purse your lips and turn to look at your friend with disappointment but she just deadpans back
"c'mon, all this time together and you've never thought he was hot?"
you shake your head before you can really register an answer
you look at him and he's got his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. his uniform looks like he's ironed it.
you have what might be sugar on yours, and your hair is a bit of a disheveled mess.
"i guess he's cute."
graduation comes and goes in what seems like a blur - you can officially call yourself a baker now, although you think the journey started for you a while back
the last person who want to share a tearful goodbye with aside from some friends and other graduates is your instructor
you head to where you think you'll find him - only to find taeyong waiting outside of his office just like on your first day together
dressed in a pale blue, tailored suit and with that signature lost look on his face he holds a white box in his hands
"is that a cake?"
you ask for the sake of conversation
"dacquoise."
"ah. i made snickerdoodles."
he hesitates as if he wants to say something, but before he can the door opens and your professor smiles fondly at the both of you
but he turns first to taeyong
"congratulations on the job!"
you blink and feel your mouth dry slightly, "y-you already got a job?"
taeyong's ears go red and you can see him clutch a little at the box he's still holding
"yes, i got an invitation to work with the patisserie at the shilla hotel."
unable to control your expression, your eyes go wide
the shilla hotel - the most expensive hotel in the city?
"i called in a recommendation for taeyong as well, im proud to have a student of mine pushing the boundaries already!"
a recommendation.....he didn't offer me a recommendation...
"really, it's not that gr-"
taeyong's voice drowns out and the world starts to feel like it's rapidly shrinking
"are you going to apply for some manager positions at some of the bakery chains around here?"
your professor asks - taking the cake from taeyong's hands and not hurrying to reach for what you've brought along
manager position? is that what all my work is going to come down to?
you force on a smile and shake your head.
you want to be strong and say with confidence - "im going to forge my own way ahead. im going to be the baker i always dreamed i would be."
but the words are lost and suddenly, you're embarrassed
you're embarrassed to be standing beside taeyong.
to be holding these cookies that just don't compare.
it goes over your professors head, but taeyong tenses and you suddenly make up a reason for having to leave
they both say something to you - something that gets lost in the spiraling, sickening feeling of dreaded realization that is gripping you
we were never on the same level. taeyong was always running a mile ahead of me.
you feel too ashamed to go home and call your family like you had planned, and you are feeling too small to go out onto the big city streets of seoul
so you find yourself at the post graduation party the students of your school have thrown
and you find yourself in front of a bottle
you are not a drinker, and you are not really a party person either - unless you get to mingle and watch people try your desserts. but this is the only thing you can think of doing
i thought we were always going to succeed, the both of us. what’s a roll of homemade bread to a world class five star tart - the worst part is
you draw a circle on the rim of your drink
the worst part is taeyong isn’t even being selfish about it. he probably didn’t even think it was a competition.
someone sits at your table, off in the corner and you look up
just as if he’s sprung from your thoughts - it’s taeyong. and he looks uncomfortable to be in a swarm of so many people.
“don’t come here to pity me.”
you say it with conviction and the confidence of a little bit of drinking
he winces, as if it really stings, but you don’t notice and go back to your own thoughts
taeyong swallows and says something you barely hear over all the noise
“i can’t pity someone who inspires me.”
to be frank, you think you imagine the sentiment
but it’s weird because you can’t decide if you did or if he really said that. why would he? you and him learned side by side together for a long time and you’ve never heard something like that before
you finish your drink and get up without a word
taeyong follows and stutters out what he thinks will make you stop from leaving
“i’ll tell the hotel to consider you instead.”
all it does is make you angry, you scoff in response
“you didn’t hear me did you? i said don’t pity me.”
you turn on your heel, rushing toward the door as the world spins slightly in a blur around you 
you manage to make it out of whatever bar you were in, until you trip against the uneven curb of the sidewalk and hear something split under the platform of your shoe
you kick up your left foot and see that the bottom is peeling, broken completely off at the edge
“are you kidding me?”
you try to force it back into place, but it doesn’t work and when you nearly tip over from losing your balance - you put your hand out - only to land on the soft fabric of someone’s shoulders
it’s taeyong and he puts an arm out to support you that you try to swat away weakly
all it does is make you wobble into him even more
when you’re stable, he squats down to look at the damage and his fingers are cool on the skin of your ankle
from the outside - you probably look like a couple
the ever doting boyfriend, worried about their partner. there’s an intimacy between you two that you are both oblivious to
until it hits you from the glances of people who walk by and you pull yourself away
“it’s fine. im going to walk home.”
“do you live close by, i’ll help you.”
you purse your lips - “actually i have to take the subway so if you could just move-”
he doesn’t, instead taeyong mutters that his place is luckily just around the corner and he’ll let you borrow something of his to help you get home in
you refuse - vehemently because you are not trying to look even more embarrassing in front of him than you apparently have been looking all this time
but taeyong doesn’t sound or looks as meek as you remember when he points out that your shoe is falling apart and you aren’t going to be safe in this kind of state when it’s already so late into the evening
somehow - you end up in front of taeyong’s apartment - you watch him punch in the code and furrow your eyebrows
“haha” you start dryly “your code is my birthdate.”
the tips of his ears dust pink but you convince yourself it’s just a weird coincidence 
taeyong’s place is as neat and as organized as he is, there is a fish tank that grabs your attention and a bookshelf full of cookbooks
“just let me borrow some slippers and i’ll be gone.”
taeyong disappears into another room and comes out with a pair of fuzzy, clean, nearly brand new looking slippers
he puts them down by your feet 
“can i tell you something before you go?”
you want to refuse, but you feel so much of your self worth has leaked out of you in front of him today that you just nod
“i’m serious about being inspired by you.”
his voice is calm and collected
“you taught me how to bake the most delicious bread i’ve ever had in my entire life. how am i not supposed to look up to someone like that?”
you blink back an initial wave of shock that nearly gets you sober
“wh-what are you talking about?”
taeyong doesn’t look up at you so you don’t see his small smile
“two months after we started our apprenticeship - i told you i’d never made bread from scratch before.”
you can sort of remember the time he’s talking about, but the memory isn’t super clear in your mind
for most of your time with taeyong, you always thought you were kind of in a secret race, small moments that he’s talking about seemed to have flown over your head
“instead of just letting me do it myself - you taught me, step by step how to do it. i’d never seen someone do something so easily, like you were born for it. i know it sounds childish to say this but watching you do it felt like watching a movie.”
you can tell taeyong isn’t used to this long of a dialogue and that he’s taking time to choose his words
“i didn’t think anyone could love baking as much as i did - but i felt in that moment that i met my match in you.”
you stand up, far to quickly than you should, and taeyong has to leap up to catch you from stumbling forward
this time you don’t try to pull back right away
you look at him - those big brown eyes that always seemed aloof and far off are concerned and seeping into your own
“is that wh-is that why the code to your door is-”
taeyong’s face turns nearly crimson
“yes, because the day after that day was your birthday and when i asked you how to repay you for the lesson you said-”
“-just make me something sweet for my birthday tomorrow.”
something in the room shifts. 
you don’t know what it is, but it’s like the quickening of a pulse
you lean forward, but taeyong stops you gently
“i’m scared you won’t remember if you do that right now.”
you agree, and let taeyong help you sit down. 
“i don’t want to be a manager.” you hiccup suddenly and taeyong takes in a breath “i want to own my own store. i want to be my own boss. but taeyong, i don’t think i can do it.”
there’s silence and the weight of adulthood and responsibility weaves itself onto both your shoulders
“i know you can do it. and i want to help if you’d let me.”
the sincerity is almost heart wrenching. you’ve waited to hear those words from everyone, you’ve wanted them from the people you thought should be saying them.
but hearing them from someone who really believes in you - hits in a whole different way.
at some point you put your head on taeyong’s shoulder. the night is spent talking about all the things you haven’t been able to share
even though you spent so much time elbow to elbow in the kitchen
when your eyes close, you feel safe with taeyong and he doesn’t do anything to betray this newly formed bond between you
the morning sun through the blinds hurts your head a little. 
you sit up in the white, clean sheets of taeyong’s bed
you’re still wearing all your clothes and your shoes and the pair of slippers he brought out for you are on the side of the bed
when you shuffle into the living room, taeyong is sprawled out on the couch asleep
you try to be quiet as you sit down in front of him on the carpet, studying the architecture of his face
“wake up...” you mumble, but he doesn’t seem to hear 
you trace the strong, but somehow inviting lines and says it again a little louder
taeyong shifts in his sleep and his shirt rides up his flat stomach
“there’s something i want to do taeyong, please wake up.”
after a moment of stirring, his eyelashes flutter open and he gets caught between a flustered blush and a smile of happiness that you’re still here
“good mo-”
“can i kiss you now?”
it’s soft, quick, and sweet. somehow taeyong even tastes like sugar. he’s wide awake when you pull back.
“don’t you have a job to get to you?”
you say to break him out of his trance, he fumbles up and off the couch as you follow too
but then he stops in his tracks
“i - i really meant it last night too, that i’d give my recommendation up if you want it ins-”
you put a finger to his lips and taeyong gets the message
“i’ve decided i am going to work toward my goal and you work toward yours. after all, you said i inspire you and taeyong you inspire me too.”
he looks like he’s biting back giddiness
this time you two kiss for real, and you nearly drive taeyong up onto a wall which he’d gladly let you continue doing if it weren’t for the alarm that goes off on his phone that breaks you two apart
you hurry him along and say you’ll make coffee before he has to go
when you open the cabinet, there are two mugs with little cat faces on them
when you pull them out you think,
i’ve learned the language of baking - but now i think i have to learn the language of lee taeyong. 
307 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆[nostalgic] summer romance!au bang chan  birthday present for my favorite stay! | other skz aus
you don't like the sun, ergo you don't really like summer
you've never been fond of the heat or the bugs or the overwhelming sense of emptiness that comes with watching the ice in your favorite drink melt too quickly for your liking
so when you are forced to pick up some sort of activity for the summer by your schools requirements you sign up for summer reading with the public library
the library is inside - it has air conditioning - it's not outside and under the sun
"so explain to me why we are sitting outside, where there is not air conditioner, under the sun in a park when this is supposed to be everything but that?"
hyunjin, the other poor student who'd signed up for the same program, turns to you with a thin lipped smile
"because we're supposed to recruit kids into the program and where are all the kids during the summertime?"
you sit down in the plastic chair set up in front of a small white table that features the public library's branch name and a sheet for kids to sign up on
there's a pile of recommended summer reading for children of all ages stacked up neatly and untouched
no kid in their right mind is going to sign up to read while they're having fun chasing a ball around - this is literally so dumb.
you ruffle around in your bag to see if you brought extra sunscreen in defeat and hyunjin puts his hand out for it without a word
hours pass just like this
some parents try to usher their kids your way but give up in the end to hold their attention, offering you and hyunjin nothing but polite and sorry smiles
you try to scour out any place with shade to no avail
you have an entire month left of this hell
somewhere in the distance you can hear the sound of laughter and a loud whistle
"is that a summer camp?"
you ask hyunjin who has started, out of boredom, reading an old copy of the magic tree house (an offered book on the summer list)
"yeah - i think that's the field for soccer camp."
you put your sweaty forehead down onto the table and groan
"even eight hours of soccer sounds better than this."
your first day is uneventful and still somehow extremely draining
when you get home you lay face down with the fan on blast and think about calling the library to quit
but guilt clouds over you: what about the kids who might want to sign up for the program, what about leaving poor hyunjin out there by himself, what about.......these stupid credits for school
in the end you decide you'll stick with it - maybe you'll pick up crocheting to help you pass the time
the second, third, and fourth day all pass the same way
one kid signs up for the program and it isn't even a kid - it's their parent who spends half an hour at the table telling you and hyunjin about how stressful raising children is
you two just stare up at them and melt under their ramblings and the unforgiving sun
on the first friday of the worst decision of your life - hyunjin almost quits and you have to bribe him with ice cream from the truck so he doesn't leave you
he agrees, for the price of two strawberry cheesecake bars
when you head to the truck to retrieve the briberies you notice a long line of kids all dressed in soccer uniforms
they're crowding around someone who is ordering at the window
his shoulders are wide and muscular underneath a tight sports top and he has an accent that makes itself more prevalent when he tells one of the kids to hold on a minute - laughing when they seemingly pout up at him
you're curious to see what that person looks like - you assume he's one of the counselors from that soccer camp
but you miss the opportunity as he gathers over ten different types of ice cream in his hands and is hoarded onto by the kids
when you get to the window the poor ice cream man tells you not to order the sonic ice-pop, he just sold out
"do you know any of the people working at that summer camp?"
you as hyunjin as you hand over his ice cream and he shakes some hair from face as he peels open the packaging
"i know changbin, he's supposed to be working there this summer with some new guy - apparently he just moved here."
you think that this 'new guy’ is probably the one who was in front of you in the ice cream line
“do you know his n-”
you stop mid sentence to watch the strawberry ice cream melt over the wrapper and hyunjin’s fingers and right onto the pile of library books.
yeah. this is definitely the worst decision of my life.
hyunjin is apparently “sick” on monday. so you’re alone at the table when a lone soccer ball rolls right to your feet
you look up from the ‘how to crochet: for beginners’ video you’re watching on your phone to pick it up.
“sorry, i had no clue i would kick it this far!”
you look up and squint in the sun to see the person standing before you
but the accent gives their identity away immediately 
smiling down at you are kind brown eyes and perfectly straight white teeth
the beads of sweat on his forehead look more like diamonds, and he smells good - which must be a feat if you’re running around under the scorching sun playing sports all day
“uh-”
you lose the ability to speak for a second before you realize his hands are out stretched for the ball
“r-right. here you go.”
he thanks you and tucks the ball under his arm, “is hyunjin not here today?”
“you know hyunjin?”
he gives a deep chuckle, “not really. changbin - the guy i work with does. he said he’d be here but i only, well i only see you.”
‘i only see you’. someone so hot should not be able to just say that so casually
“ah yeah he’s out “sick” - note the air quotes.”
this time the chuckle is a genuine laugh and he uses his free hand to hold his stomach 
“now i know why he’s changbin’s friend. i’m bang chan by the way.”
he extends his hand out at first and then jumps back a bit, “sorry - my palms a little sweaty”, wiping it on his side and then offering it again
you take it and try not to think about how much larger it is in comparison to yours
you tell him your name and chan seemingly wants to stay, when a loud whistle from the field catches his attention
“i gotta go, but i’ll see you around yeah?”
he waves and jogs off, leaving you in a bit of a limbo
it wears off after a bit of time and you go back to doing absolutely nothing but flipping through the books again and trying to help some parents here and there get their kid to stand still long enough to sign up
when the day ends you realize you’re going to have to carry everything back to the library by yourself
you groan, even though it’s already evening, the sun isn’t letting up and you start to clear the table slowly
“need help?”
you turn around and chan is there, a duffel bag over his shoulder and a towel around his neck
“oh it’s fine, the library is around the block so-”
“i’ll carry the table.”
he doesn’t even put his things down, just easily tips the table over to fold it up and picks it up on it’s side
you don’t even have time to refuse the help again, so you just gather your sheet and books and follow him out of the park
“are you here every day?”
he asks and you sort of try to put your hand on the table, but chan manages to stay enough steps ahead of you
“j-just the weekdays. and it’s fine i can carry the-”
he laughs, but shakes his head 
“two pairs of hands are better than one.”
you return everything to the library, usually you get a mini lecture about the lack of kids who’ve signed up, but this time even the librarian seems starstruck by chan’s looks and friendly charm
you are trying to think of a way to thank him without looking like a fool and stuttering over your words
when chan points to the left, “i gotta take the bus home.”
you blink and point in the opposite direction, “the bus is that way.”
chan’s ears go red and it turns out he’s the one stuttering as he explains that he only got here at the beginning of the summer so everything is new and confusing
without thinking you go, “if you want i can show you around some time.” 
realizing only after you’ve said it how forward that is 
only chan brightens, his already cheerful smile seems to glow stronger
“i’ll take you up on that offer!”
you say goodbye to one and other - and you try to ignore the thumping of your heart in your chest but it resounds into your ears
so loud you can barely hear anything else as you make your own way home
i mean, he’s just being nice. he seems like the type to do that - just be nice to be polite. so let’s not think anything of it.
hyunjin is out sick again the next day, he texts that a summer flu can last up to a week! to which you reply to with several choice emojis, but once again chan is there at the end of the day
helping you carry everything back to the library
you finally learn that he is definitely working at the soccer camp and he moved from overseas for school
when you ask what he’s studying, he gives kind of a faltering smile and says he’s going in undecided
something seems sad in his tone - and you think it’s a little contradictory to move to another country for a university program you aren’t even majoring in
but you don’t push it and confess that you’re kind of iffy on your future too
chan seems to perk up slightly at your openness, he jokingly goes: “becoming an adult is harder than you think, right?”
you heave your shoulders in agreement but go, “it’s inevitable though. we all have to grow up some day.”
the librarian ignores you completely this time, fawning over chan for his kindness
when you say goodbye to each other this time - chan says he’ll help you tomorrow too
tomorrow comes and finally hyunjin is back, but even so chan still shows up when it’s time for you two to pack up and hyunjin immediately reads his gaze 
becoming aware of something you are still clueless too
picking up the stack of books, hyunjin leaves you to help chan with the table
of course, chan carries it himself, and you just keep stride at his side and listen to a lighthearted story about one of the kids at his camp
this sort of becomes a routine for the next week or so
chan shows up after work to help you and hyunjin pack up, but hyunjin always insists on leaving first - giving you and chan the alone time of the five minute walk to the library 
you suspect hyunjin is doing it on purpose, and you think he’s teasing - but chan always seems to give him a look that hyunjin reciprocates and you just can’t seem to read
one day, chan shows up an hour earlier - he says work let out right after afternoon practice and he thought he’d come by and help you and hyunjin out
you tell him he’s free to come fry in the sun with the two of you, to which chan asks
“sounds like you’re not a summer person?”
“the sun and i are on questionable terms.”
chan looks around and clicks his tongue, “and there’s no shade in this park. well maybe this will help?”
he pulls a light sports jacket out of his duffel bag, walking over to you and draping it over your head - the darkness of the fabric enveloping you before you can fully register what’s going on
“kinda like a sun cloak?”
chan says, squatting down a little to lift the collar hem and look at you
the distance between your faces goes from a lot to very little
up close like this - chan is somehow even more handsome, you can make out the strong lines of his jaw and the way his nose curves down almost perfectly.
he opens his mouth, but no words come out - you both get lost in a seconds long stare
which hyunjin breaks up with a loud clearing of his throat and a, “you two really just need to get a room.”
chan shots back upright and almost tips over from the speed, his neck goes red and he tries to say something back to hyunjin who just tilts his head knowingly in both of your directions
you can only do one thing - pull chan’s jacket over your face
when you finally emerge, hyunjin is gone and chan is sitting in his place and twiddling his thumbs
you tell yourself to think of a way to make this less awkward, but your mind is blank and you’re stuck between dying from the embarrassment and maybe want to find hyunjin and chase him up and down the entire park
“you know...” chan starts and looks at you - you push all your courage up and look back 
“if you’d like to still show me around some time, i guess it could also be a .... date?”
when hyunjin comes back, he sees both you and chan are exchanging numbers. with a triumphant grin he sits between the two of you and throw his hands over your shoulders
“so - am i invited on the date too?”
the first place you take chan, when you two meet up on the weekend, is to your favorite fast food place
only to realize that he’s probably a healthy eater and you try to find something on the menu that is more green and low in carbs 
but chan just tells you, he’s a person - and he has cheat days - so you two splurge and chan even gets a milkshake after
when he can’t finish it he offers it to you absentmindedly and you don’t even know what flavor it is until you take your first sip
strawberry, maybe we are soulmates
you take chan everywhere you can, you try to fill up the day with as much as possible 
and as the evening dwindles down, chan comments that he never knew you had so much energy - you always look so down when you’re at the park
you mutter that it’s the fact that you’re in one place - you should have picked something that at least let you move around
“you can come coach soccer with me?”
you look at chan with an eye roll and he grins back
“i don’t have the endurance and i can’t handle more than one kid at a time.”
“ah yeah, then you’d have an issue with your co-worker.”
“who, you?”
“changbin. there’s already one kid too much on my plate.”
you giggle and chan bites back his lip, stopping on the sidewalk as you slow down too
“is there any place in town that you really love?”
it takes you a moment to understand his question
“what do you mean?”
“like a place that’s special on another level, i’ve never had one because i move around a lot but people say they have places in their home town that really mean something.”
you think and then nod, chan out stretches his hand 
“take me there?”
it’s actually on the other side of the park and field you and chan have been spending your summer in
it’s the side that is more green, with actual shade, but less foot traffic because it’s still dirt in some places and nothing has really been built there for a while
past a couple of old benches, you show chan a bush that sits between two big trees and look at him with an apologetic sigh
“i used to hide here when i was a kid. i know it’s not really beautiful, not a sunset on the beach or top of the mountain thing. but when i was smaller i could just sit here and be alone. and the trees always kept the sun out.”
chan looks at the small matted center between the branches, neither you or him can fit in their anymore
you imagine your younger self there, picking petals off of wild flowers or writing in your old diary
you look at chan and he seems like he’s also thinking about something, maybe he’s seeing himself there too
“remember when i told you i don’t know what i want to major in?”
he starts without returning your gaze
“the reality is my family wants me to become an athlete. actually, not even my family - it feels like the whole world wants that.”
the deepness of his voice falters, like a guitar suddenly playing an out of tune note
you do what’s natural and step closer to him, your hand squeezes his palm
“don’t get me wrong, i think it’s what i’m meant for too. i mean - i’ve always been good at it and i like it but-”
this time he does look at you, and the summer moon is suddenly showing its face over his shoulder - illuminating him softly
“but i don’t think i’ll be happy if i do it.”
“just because every one else thinks so, doesn’t mean you’re meant to do it chan.”
the words fall from you before you can stop them. you know what he’s feeling and you want to let him in on the lesson you’ve been learning yourself.
“you are meant to be happy, and you’re meant to grow for yourself and not for others. you become an adult for yourself, you live life for yourself and not for any one else.”
he swallows and turns so his entire body is facing your own
“i want-” he can’t finish the sentence, you’re not sure if it’s because he’s just pausing himself or if he really doesn’t know what comes after
instead he leans in and pulls you up close. he doesn’t kiss you, he seems to waiver because he wants your consent, and so you give it to him with a small tilt of your head.
that night you lay in bed thinking about everything chan shared with you and what you said to him 
it makes your heart ache, but when your eyes close you think of the softness and curve of his upper lip. 
you think about the way he holds your waist with both his hands clasped around you.
“i always knew he was in to you by the way, that’s why i kept leaving you two in your little love bubble.”
hyunjin says the next day as you’re setting up the table in the park
“and how did you know oh wise one?”
“he looked at you and it was written all over his face.”
“how come i didn’t see it?”
hyunjin shrugs, “because it was written all over yours too.”
the days fall into each other again, but now they feel less and less sluggish because chan comes around more often
bringing his hoard of campers with him sometimes and even changbin who asks you right off the bat how you’d rank chan as a kisser
chan gasps and covers the ears of the kid closest to him but you shyly raise your hands up to show all ten fingers
changbin gives chan a slap on the back that resounds all throughout the park
your dates with chan all endless laughter and conversation and showing him what life is like in this town while also getting to know more and more about who he is
slowly it comes out that the muscle and sporty attitude is just the top layer to someone who is so deeply creative and passionate about music and the arts
you have so much new music to listen to because of him and he goes way harder than you expect when you, him, hyunjin and changbin go out to karaoke
of course chan’s never ending energy is able to be soft and tender, as it is when he kisses you - everywhere he can reach and how he reels in the strength to handle you with the utmost care
when the librarian sees him give you a kiss before you go in to get your things, she stops you and for the first time all summer gives you a thumbs up
of course, summer can’t last forever, and the early signs of fall show their face
the soccer camp ends and you go to the final game - held against another local camp to cheer chan on
he looks so natural on the field, and he looks even more natural with the kids
it’s no surprise that a career in sports would fit him - but finally the topic of school comes back up 
and you sit cross legged on the empty soccer field, chan’s jacket around your shoulders and his soccer whistle you stole around your neck
and you go
“have you decided?”
he pauses and tries to give you the look that is supposed to get him out of these situations, it doesn’t work and you ask again
“i want-”
he stops again and then sits back you get up and stand over him, looking down into his handsome face
you take it in your hands and ask again
“chan, tell me the truth and only the truth. what do you want?”
his gaze doesn’t falter
“i want you.”
he pulls you down and ontop of him, supporting your fall with his own body as he kisses you 
as much as you want to let him leave you breathless, you pull back and open your mouth to tell him to please be serious
but chan knows what you’re going to say before you do so he finally blurts it out
“i want to do music. i want to major in music.”
a smile blooms on your face - chan swears it nearly brings back the summer sun as you embrace him with a flurry of happy noises
he rolls you two over and grins down at you
“now that i told you, can we go back to kissing?”
in the future, years down the line, you look back on this moment with him and chan swears he wouldn’t be here - doing what he loves - if it weren’t for you
as you look around his music studio, you see all his hard work, you say that it was all chan
the stupid summer sun had a little to do with it back when you were younger, but you’re never going to admit that out loud
when chan gets up from his work, placing his headphones on the table and letting you lead him out to get dinner he jokingly goes,
“so summer wedding?”
“never in a million years.” 
246 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au shotaro happy late late really late birthday taro! find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung | renjun | jeno | xiaojun
"sorry you want me to go to a what?"
"a wedding."
"i didn't know you were friends with people who actually got married."
"they're not my friends. they're my parents' friends and i still live under my parents' roof so i don't have a choice. anyway, i know you're not doing anything else so just humor me and come with?"
yuta bites into his ice-cream, a habit about him you really have never come to understand, as he waits for your response
it's the first really hot day of summer - over ninety degrees - and your own ice-cream is melting all over your fingers
"when is it again?"
"uhhhh this saturday."
you give up on your cone and dump it into a trashcan nearby
"that's in like five days. is there a dress code?"
yuta stands up, kick flips his skateboard into his hands and snorts
"just don't show up in what you're wearing now?"
you flip him off and get to your feet too
"fine, at least weddings have free food."
you realize almost instantly when you and yuta arrive that you have no idea how you're supposed to act at weddings
you've been to two before, both inside your own family, so the only thing you can really remember from those events is obligated gossiping and chasing younger cousins around tablecloths
everyone here is a stranger and yuta's parents are fiddling with him and his ill-fitting tie
so you're kind of left alone, itching in the fancy clothes you're not used to, running through a short list of other things you could be doing with your precious summer time
skate boarding, sleeping, sitting under the AC, sleeping
you think about the look on yuta's moms face when you were the person yuta had towed along as his "date"
you were pleasant in your exchanges - but you had heard her pull him aside and ask
"don't you have a girlfriend - or someone else, someone you like to bring with you?"
it hadn't hurt you in the slightest, you and yuta are close but in the way lab partners who end up liking the same things are close
oh you like sports? oh you like doing semi-dangerous shit on the weekends? let's hang out - type of friends
you were just as 'rough around the edges' as he was
you sympathize with the confusion from his parents and possibly the other patrons of this wedding who you have no clue about
"sorry about my parents, i can introduce you to some of the people here but they're all boring."
yuta says and you look around at the well to do adults in matching clothing, younger kids with leftover crumbs on their mouths, and the awkward bundles of other teenagers strewn about
"are we gonna have to talk to the bride and groom or something?"
"no my parents said they'll do it without us - we can go park our asses by the buffet?"
yuta gives you big smile and you reciprocate
"sounds like a plan."
the plan works for the first hour or so,
then there are speeches given by guests and the main ceremony which makes everyone get up and move to another part of the banquet hall, and then there's the cutting of the cake
you are half through a second slice when someone comes up to yuta - about similar in age - and asks with a big blush across their face if he wants to dance
yuta smirks and agrees, you mumble that you won't be seeing him for the next forty minutes as a joke into your fork
and once again you're alone - watching everyone float across the middle of the floor, spinning in circles and making you roll your eyes
dancing, what is even the point?
you can see the couple of the night, all in their bubble of honeymoon love and then the other adult's group together
among them is someone young though, someone that you haven't seen for most of the night
he's got honeycomb colored hair neatly brushed back to expose his small face
a big smile tugs at his lips, no matter who he's dancing with, that makes the light sheen on his clear skin
he's slim and not too tall, his hands are big on the waist of his partner
you tap your fork against your teeth and wonder who he is - and if he's friends with yuta
a giggling group of moms passes by and you overhear his name that they coo out with adoration
"isn't shotaro getting so big, every year his handsomeness grows! his family must be sooo proud."
you watch him for a bit, he dances as if his feet don't even touch the ground, he reminds you of water fretting about in the vastness of the ocean
you lose interest only because at one point you think he catches you looking over the shoulder of who he's dancing with
and you can't be caught being interested in anything or anyone ever - so you get up and go outside into the darkening summer night to get some air
you walk past a balloon archway and stands of celebratory floors - from the corner of your eye you see yuta and the person from before pressed into a corner somewhere
you keep going until you're out in a garden outside of the main hall and the warm breeze pushes the echo of people away
"i could totally run away if this place wasn't in the middle of nowhere."
you say to yourself and nudge your foot at the steps of stone that weave through the curated bushes
you walk around and when you turn down a path you're sure you've been down already, you bump into someone and look up to see their face
"shotaro?"
you say his name before you fully register that you know it - he seems startled, but then relaxes back into a kind expression
"sorry, have we met before?"
you gape like a fish because you aren't sure how to answer that - well no, obviously not but i know your name because i heard it in a conversation i wasn't a part of
"n-no i don't think so."
he tilts his head and his hair is slicked behind his ear with gel
"oh well, i am shotaro - what's your name?"
you tell him because you think it would be rude not to and he repeats it back to you in a prettier tone than you expect
there's a silence that is awkward for you and normal for him
"i haven't seen you dance tonight."
he says and you turn your head to look back at him completely
"what?"
"i haven't seen you dancing tonight, i remember everyone who i dance with and i haven't danced with you."
"im not good at it."
you say and try not to sound embarrassed about it, shotaro straightens himself up and puts his hand out
"still, you should dance at a wedding."
you stare at his palm and then back at him
"i - i don't feel so good right now, so im out here to get away from the crowd - i can dance with you when i go back inside."
it's probably the longest string of words you've said to someone, even counting yuta, since you got to this wedding
shotaro smiles and nods and he wholeheartedly believes you aren't lying
when he's gone - you don't go back inside until yuta comes to get you, smeared lipstick on his collar, you're relived when he says that he and his parents are leaving
shotaro isn't supposed to stay in your mind, but he does
you chalk it up to what yuta had said before - that you aren't doing anything on the day of the wedding - or all of summer for that matter
so like any human would, you cling onto something unusual that has happened to you
the only issue is you feel a ghost of guilt for lying to him - someone you don't even know
thankfully, ill never see him again
is your blanket of solace until of course you show up to yuta's to see if he wants to head down to the park and he walks out of the front door tailed by the face you never thought you'd see
shotaro lights up when he says your name and yuta looks between you two
"did you meet at the wedding?"
"something like that"
shotaro says it without a drop of malice or grudge, you nod automatically
"he's moving into the neighborhood because he got accepted to a dance program nearby."
so he dances professionally, that doesn't even come as a shock
"are you going to go skate?"
shotaro stares at the board under your arm and yuta clicks his tongue, says he'll go get his just wait a moment
you're alone with shotaro quicker than you ever anticipated
his eyes crinkle when he grins and you think about apologizing for what happened at the wedding even though you've never been one on saying sorry
"is it ok if i come with you two?"
"um - do you skate?"
he shakes his head, and yuta reappears with the loud sound of the door shutting
he throws a hand over shotaro's shoulder and they start talking as they walk
you wonder if you can make up an excuse to get away - but what are you even running from?
shotaro leans against the fence as you and yuta skate around the park
you practice some of your moves, but can't seem to get any progress because the fact that there's an audience drills its way into your head
im not trying to impress him right? im not the kind of person who'd do that.
when you finally do land your trick, yuta skates past to highfive you and you head over to your bag to get some water
"i thought you said you weren't a good dancer"
shotaro chirps suddenly and you knit your brows together
"im not."
"skateboarding is much more technical than dancing." he flicks his eyes to yours and they're such a soft brown you can almost see through them "and you're pretty good at skateboarding."
your cheeks feel warm at the compliment but you shove the feeling away
"dancing is still harder. and i don't get the point of it, no offense."
shotaro's smile never seems to leave his face
"none taken."
you return to your board and when you finish for the day - you notice that shotaro is gone
yuta tells you he's off to practice
so you say your goodbyes to each other and you stare down at your board when you get home
more technical, what is he talking about? don't ballerinas break their limbs more than skaters? and don't they do it on purpose?
you see shotaro again when he's coming home with a duffle bag over his shoulder - a bucket hat obstructs the upper part of his face but you know it's him because he walks with fluidity
guess that's beaten into dancers too
when you pass by each other, he waves and you kind of smile in response
"wow - you've never smiled at me before."
he stops to say and you nearly trip over the curb in front of you
"ah - really?"
your voice sounds different from normal, you feel weird because you sound mushy and charmed and a little nervous
three things you are proud about never really being - especially not in public
"yeah! it looks nice on you - oh, i have to go - see you around!"
you stand there blankly, minutes after he's gone
how can you just say that and leave?
when you somehow get roped into going to see shotaro practice - you really don't know what this bundle of feelings in the pit of your stomach is
are you excited? are you reluctant? are you nervous? are you horrified? are you shy? do you even want to go? do you want to run away?
yuta barely lets you decide, he's just curious about what the other dancers at shotaro's academy look like, and he won't stop mentioning the fact that you aren't a good dancer yourself
"i know that - therefore why am i even here?"
you finally manage, wishing you could dig your heels in the sand and refuse to go a step further, except you're already inside the fancy looking dance studio and the only thing beneath your feet is lacquered wooden floor
"you're here to encourage shotaro! he said he wanted us both to come!"
"i don't even know him that well why would he-"
yuta's smile in response unnerves you. it's the kind of expression he has on when he's privy to a secret that you yourself don't know.
"yut-"
you start, but then music blares through the room and you instinctively turn your head to the center
shotaro is there, dressed in comfortable looking sweatpants and a shirt three sizes too big
two girls flank him, showing off impressively toned arms and long hair pulled back from their pretty faces
they move in perfect synchronized fashion, and even when they start to twist apart in different ways, it all works like on cohesive unit
the part that makes your mouth go dry is when the girls disappear into the crowd and shotaro is left solo
his limbs outstretch and his body moves in a way that brings you back to the first time you saw him at the wedding
like water, even possibly smoother, and it almost feels unreal
you don't know why it enchants you like it does - you've never seen dancing as anything more than involuntary shakes of the body. you hadn't ever cared for the amount of control and precision someone needed to be able to do it beautifully
but watching shotaro, you feel all that intensity and work hit you at once
when his routine is over - everyone in the room claps, yuta whistles and you don't know what to do or say
shotaro looks over at you both, but his gaze lingers on you for the longest
afterwards, yuta says he's going to wait for shotaro to finish his lesson so they can hang out and get food
"what should we all go eat?"
he asks and you shake your head
"i've gotta get home, i wasn't supposed to even be here to-"
"don't be an idiot! taro will be out any second and we can go-"
you give yuta a sharp look and he responds with a lift of his eyebrow
"what's with you? i know you like shotaro so why are you acting-"
the world stops and you grip your first so hard you feel your nails in your palm
"i don't like shotaro."
the tone of your voice puts yuta off, you can tell from the way he straightens up and his lips pull down into a frown
"woah - what? everyone likes him. i mean what's he done to piss you off?"
nothing, he's done nothing to piss me off, i'm just lashing out because im confused
"whatever, i don't like him. i never liked him. i've only see him three or four times and that's enough for me to know that i don't want to be around him."
your words are cold and empty and cruel. they're devoid of anything but sharpness and you're lying.
you're lying so much that the strain of it is making you feel dizzy
and when you hear the sound of something drop from over yuta's shoulder, that feeling of sickness crashes down on you like a wave
shotaro stares - wide eyed and still - you realize he's heard everything you've said
yuta turns too, he tries to say something with hope of clearing up the situation, but you finally have the nerve to just leave
after that. you don't see or hear from either of them and you spend every waking moment trying to convince yourself that this is what you wanted
your skateboard lays abandoned by the end of your bed, your summer dies slowly, and you can't believe it but you cry
for the first time in what seems like forever you cry
and not because you feel bad for yourself, but because you feel bad for what you did to someone else who really didn't deserve it
what a horrible way to react to a crush
you sit up and reply the thought
a crush. i have a crush on shotaro and all i thought to do was hurt him.
when the temperature starts to drop on the weekly forecast you decide you can't keep doing this
yuta grumbles into the phone after the third ring that he really didn't want to pick up, but when you explain to him that you've come to a realization his laughter greets you on the other end
"taro's at the park - go tell him what you told me."
and it's true, when you show up, shotaro is at the park and he's fiddling around with an old pennyboard that you're pretty sure he borrowed from yuta
you clear your throat and point out that he's got it facing the wrong way
shotaro looks at you and the sunshine that you're used to is just blank
"oh. thanks. i can leave if you don't want me ar-"
you panic and shake your head, stepping forward you put a hand on shotaro's and then apologize as you draw it back immediatelly
"i owe you two apologizes."
you start and he sets down the board to listen
"one is for lying to you at the wedding. i said i felt sick and would come back inside to dance with you and i never did. i lied because im embarrassed about dancing, im no good at it."
shotaro opens his mouth, and you know what he wants to say - something about how everyone can dance or whatnot - but you just tell him to wait one more second
"and two is for lying about not liking you. i said i didn't like you because i was embarrassed about how much i do like you. crushes aren't really something im used to."
this time shotaro doesn't open his mouth and you start to chew on your lips with nervousness
when you want him to speak, he doesn't - which can only mean a bad thing right?
"anything else?"
a bit of shine has returned to his expression, his brown eyes glint as they look at you and you stutter in confusion
"i - well i'm sorry again and i -"
he nods, "i accept your apology. now you i would like to accept your confession if you'd go ahead and say it."
he outstretches his arms like he's waiting for you to run in them
you stare and rattle your brain
"are- are you waiting for me to say i like you?"
"yes, but with enthusiasm you know?"
you feel your neck flush and your knees feel wobbly. your stomach is doing the flips that it's always done when you're around him.
"i - i like you."
he pulls you into his arms, he smells like summer sun and citrus
"i like you too!"
when you pull back, shotaro is so close that you don't know what to do or where to look, but he just stares right into your eyes like no big deal
"are you shy?"
he asks when you put your hand up to your mouth and mutter something about how it's getting dark out now
"wh-what no im not sh-"
"then why are you still hiding? we're a couple now - i wanna see you smile all the time."
he's gentle in the way he pulls your hand away and when you realize you've locked your gaze with his own
it's only natural that you lean, and he kisses you with the same kind of softness that has always exuded from him
yuta gives you all the shit you thought he would for dating, you take it with a grimace and constant fighting back while shotaro just watches you two with a clueless and sweet smile
you go from being holed up alone in your room to visiting shotaro at his dance academy almost daily
and even though you're different from the people there, they welcome you with happiness because you make shotaro glow even brighter than before (if that's even possible)
the people at the skate park start asking you where your 'tarotaro' is and you threaten to break their boards if they keeping cooing at you like that
but also, he's coming later, and you're going out for bubble tea
yuta tries to crash your dates and sometimes he succeeds because shotaro is too nice to say no and sometimes he doesn't because you give him a glare that could scare satan back into hell
when you're alone, shotaro is just as sweet as when you're in public
he touches you with graceful caution and sincerity and even though he's supposed to be the romantic one and you're supposed to be the hardhead
it is kind of tricky to get him to be super affectionate. like you'll cuddle for hours and you're like ok time for more and shotaro is like which disney film should we watch next
you putting your hands in his hair like we can watch frozen again in like thirty minutes ok?
he tries to learn a little about skating and you worry too much about him to let him skate on any ramps or anything because he needs to protect his body for dancing
which, you still refuse to partake in, even after shotaro asks you a million times to at least try
it's a running joke between you two that you'll wait for marriage before shotaro can see you embarrass yourself on the dance floor
up until years later when you both are at a wedding
not yours, but yuta's
and he manages to pull you up and out onto the dance floor
somewhere in the big hall, yuta is blabbering tipsy into the mic about his partner
everyone is cheering and dancing and having a good time
and shotaro puts your hands over his neck and smiles
"will you dance with me?"
you shake your head, "sorry i feel a little sick-"
you see the look of sadness in your boyfriends eyes and laugh
"im joking, of course ill dance with you. but if you laugh at me - im never doing it again."
shotaro twirls you around before giving you an answer, you feel light as he leads you across the floor
he leans in, kisses the center of your forehead and mumbles
"i promise not to laugh, but we'll fix your two left feet with some practice ok?"
you scrunch up your nose, but you don't feel the embarrassment you thought you would
in a room full of people, at a wedding where everyone around you is so in love, you're in love too.
and you're dancing with the person that has made you the happiest in the world.
234 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆ demon slayer!au pillar!mingi x demon! you (insp. by the kny series) this is a holiday gift for a secret santa, hope you and they enjoy! tw: blood, death, violence central themes, angst
the most terrifying thing about being reborn is the confusion
when your eyes open again, nothing around you is familiar - you don't even have a vague sensation of direction.
everything seems bleak and foreign and before you can try to ask yourself - what is my name?
the gnashing, red hunger flames up and through every vein in your body to distract you
your tongue runs over the top of your teeth on instinct. your canines have turned into big glossy fangs.
"they have to die."
the voice isn't in the room with you, but it sounds like it is.
you turn your head and the four walls made of wood stare back at you with cold indifference
the reply comes out with a pained, pleading sound
"please, what if i can save-"
"a demon doesn't get saved. you are a constant reminder of that very fact - what would any of the other pillars say if you had called them instead?"
silence follows and then in the sudden stillness a door is shoved to the side so hard that it splinters at the edges
light spills out and into your darkness, you feel yourself squirm to get up, but something hard and cold holds down your wrists
"if you can't do it, i will."
instinct tells you to fight a little harder, that if you really put in the effort you can easily snap out of these restraints because a new kind of power engulfs you
an inhuman power
the edge of a long sword, engraved with a mantra that seems so familiar, appears
"san don-"
"it'll be a fast death."
the steel shatters around your wrists and you open your mouth to scream - but it doesn't sound like that when the noise escapes you
the resonance of your voice shakes the house
it causes san to step back in the aftermath and you take the second to get up onto your feet and jump past him and toward the open window
the winter wind and chill slides off your skin like it's nothing, something splits your mind between running straight and never looking back or turning back because in that house
in what was your house
are two living, breathing, full-blooded humans.
one is san and the other is -
the snow under your feet suddenly feels wet, every step whips it against your ankles and you don't remember his name
flashes of memories appear like ripped up photographs
smiling faces, the sound of mass laughter, a man dressed in wedding garb, a man holding his hand out to you, a man with his hand on the hilt of a sword, a man among the faces of other men turned toward you and bright like the sun
the small flutter of a birds wing somewhere makes your head turn
who is it that i can't remember?
a branch creaks under an effortless weight and you crane your neck to the other side
what's his name? who was the other man in the room?
a gust of something flies past you
who was it that didn't want to kill me?
you feel your body meet the front of a strong force, it propels you back and you skid down into the ground so hard it breaks through and you sink a little into the earth
"what-"
the word sound crooked coming out of your mouth, hunger twists in your abdomen as a scent you have never smelled before in your life engulfs you
sweetly sick iron, it's delicious and the aftertaste of metal makes you salivate
it's the smell of human blood
syllables that sound like something you should know fall from the mouth of the creature whose blood coursing through their veins is loud in your ears
you can't think straight enough to string them together and figure out what its saying
as you lurch forward toward the smell, your big sharp fangs bare to match the sharp, razor like end of your nails
you spear forward with the intent to kill
and then are trapped in a mass of white feathers that appear from nowhere
when you reach out to punch through, they harden in response and tighten up to keep you where you are
"let me out!"
you sound desperate and angry, your voice doesn't seem like your own, and softly from behind the coffin of white you can hear it speak again
"you're conscious - do you know who i am?"
it's the man from the house
"let me out!"
you repeat and thrash forward, but the feathers don't part or fall apart like they ought to
"it's me, it's mingi."
letting out another roar you claw and slash until the feathers can't hold against your strength anymore and you are able to push through only to see nothing but blank forest up ahead
you turn your head to see where this one called mingi has gone
letting these new animal like senses guide your gaze up to the trees
a dove spears up from beside your feet in the snow holding what looks like twine in its beak as it wraps around your calf and forces you to tip backward
you catch yourself before you can fall and jump up to twist back into a new position
suddenly a face appears in front of you - a cloak of white and fading pink covers the bottom half of their face and a large bird that looks as if it's made out of mist and clouds perches over their left shoulder
you can only see the top part of his face - his eyes are full of pain
and in the reflection of the deep, miserable brown you see yourself - your face - and you remember who you are, who you were
under the summer moonlight you are glowing, just married and still decorated in all the heirlooms and presents your family and friends could find
your husband, wearing his uniform, looks as shy as the day you two met - when he was just starting his training and hadn't put on all the slim muscle barely visible under the cloth
"for the pillar of love - you sure are bashful even at your own wedding."
you giggle into your palm and your husband scrunches his nose up in response
"i just....i feel like it's too much of a performance! marriage ceremonies! i mean, is it really about the overwhelming cavern of my heart that is full of you o- or is it about watching wooyoung make a fool of himself when asking you to dance!"
your giggle turns to a laugh, "mingi-"
you step closer to him and you can see, even under the faint light, that his cheeks are pink enough to match the cape he always wears
"-are you just jealous that i accepted wooyoung's offer to dance......honey, you know im going to be here to dance with you forever right?"
his hands are big when they reach out to cup your cheeks
your skin is warm against his own.
"i know, i know. will you dance with me now?"
like a rubber band that snaps back into its place - you realize everything about your situation
the person in front of you, who kept you from being slaughtered back in your home, who is a pillar, a high ranking demon slayer, is your husband
song mingi
and you are his partner, who was once the keeper of the song family home, the home of the current generation of the love pillar and who now - who is now - a demon
you lose the strength when the horror sets in, somehow it is stronger even than the gnawing hunger that is making itself more pronounced with every second that goes by
but you don't hit the floor or feel the edge of a blade
instead, you are pulled in close
close to the body of a man you have been in love with for so long and who now you want nothing more than to devour and to destroy
mingi, who is aware better than most, of the new craving you possess risks ever life-threatening possibility that circles you two to hold you against him
"tear me to shreds, put your hand through my stomach, affix your teeth to my neck - you won't do any of that."
his voice is deep, a lullaby tone as if he is speaking the truth of the world to a child
"i know you won't. you must be in so much pain - but you've done this for me so many times before, you've always protected me from my pain and just because you're ......."
he pauses and you convulse slightly in his hold because the smell of his blood makes you lightheaded with need
and he is giving you an opportunity....he is inviting you to act on your impulse
but you don't, you use everything you can about you that is still human - that you have to dig deep inside of yourself to find, not to
not even fully aware of why - just that you cannot do it. you cannot hurt him.
"just because you're a little sick.....that doesn't change anything. you would never kill me, my love you would never kill me."
kill him - i want to. i want to taste his blood so bad.
your shoulders shake a little harder and you open your mouth - mingi must feel your breathing on his chest but he doesn't move
kill him. i want to kill him. i want to kill my husband. i want to hurt my husband. i want to-
the syllables he'd been saying before, they were your name. you remember your name.
another memory finds itself into the crevices of your mind overrun by malice
from behind the open door, a group of girls are giggling and poking each other with their elbows to get a better look
you ask one of them what's going on and they tell you that their are new demon slayers training out across the yard
you look and for a moment all you see is a rowdy group of eight boys all scrambling among each other with their new swords and uniforms
but in the middle of all of them is one who catches your eye
taller than most, with red hair that falls into his eyes with sweaty bangs
a baby bird is seated on his shoulder as he lets it peck at his finger curiously
he sees you looking and a shiver of embarrassment runs up through his body as he gives a shaky wave
you uncurl your hand to wave back and you see him mouth something
"whats your name? my name is song mingi"
your mind seems to jumble, tangle, and fill with static as the words kill him, hurt him, let me feed just crash and burn against each other
you chant his name instead - let it circle through your mind until it is the only thing you can think of
mingi is still holding you as he sinks down into the snow and his sword clatters to the ground beside you two
the dove made of clouds disintegrates into the air - his guard comes completely down
and you just feel tired, you ache everywhere, you just want to sleep
mingi's hand comes up into your hair, he whispers against the strands
"i'll make sure you get better soon - i will spend my whole life waiting for you to come back to me."
you want to believe him, you want to believe you won't ever give into the nightmare that could be a reality if you listen to the growling in your stomach
you just wish you and mingi could stay here - immortalized in the frigid weather like lovers made of nothing but marble
for a second you think you can really just fade back into sleep
when suddenly mingi lifts you up into his arms and your eyes widen as your ears pick up the distinct sound of seven pairs of feet
"san has alerted the others, i have to get us out of here."
as he jumps up into the air and toward the trees, you watch the cape fall from his shoulders and abandon itself in the snow
he's never taken it off - not since he became a -
when the other pillars find it minutes later, it is still warm with mingi's body heat
san clutches it when he turns to the other pillars
yeosang, hongjoong, seonghwa, yunho, jongho, and wooyoung all swallow the uncomfortable feeling in their throat when san says through gritted teeth
"we have to get mingi back before that thing kills him."
240 notes · View notes
warmau · 2 years
Text
☆ friends-to-lovers!eric au tw: quite a bit of angst and unrequited love, suggestive themes, breakups, and alcohol
"when we went to the history museum for our last trip of eighth grade, eric and i snuck off into the egypt exhibit. we were the only ones there and i had never seen eric so afraid - so raw and vulnerable and clinging onto me for dear life - he was taller than me back then, yet he felt so small like i should have held him my palm and closed my fingers. i wanted nothing more than to keep him safe."
eric doesn't understand how to convert improper fractions to mixed numbers and that's the real reason why he becomes your best friend in the tenderfoot walls of your sixth-grade classroom
you like math and eric gags when you say that
he has friends everywhere and you only really talk and hang out with two other people
it shouldn't work, but it does
you mumble divide the numerator by the denominator in the shy voice of someone who still has a curfew
eric goes "OH!" like you've just told him the secret to life
in high school you become more open and confident
eric helps a lot with that, he pulls you out from the shadows, and soon enough you aren't afraid of the light that shines brightly from other peoples attention
you still really like math and eric still really hates it
you spend all four years over at his place before math tests trying to teach him the entirety of a months curriculum in the span of two hours
it's enough that he doesn't flunk any of his core classes - but you admit that most of the studying is just an excuse to hang out and watch tv and talk about all the gossip that happens when you're sixteen and have nothing to lose
it's also in high school that you get your first boyfriend
and it's in high school that eric realizes
oh shit, im in love with them?
it happens over spring break, eric bikes past your house and stops to ask your parents if you're home
your mother touches his shoulder softly and singsongs about how you're out on a date with some boy you met at the mall
eric learns about changmin when class starts again and you have hearts in your eyes and people are gasping when you walk by in the halls because changmin is in the year above you and he's on the school's tennis team
eric doesn't think that's impressive, he's on the soccer team and he can skateboard
he says this to sunwoo who eats his lunch in total silence as eric runs his mouth a mile a minute about every little thing he doesn't seem to like about changmin
"have you ever even talked to him?"
sunwoo finally points out, mouth half full of rice, and eric scrunches up his nose just at the notion
"no."
"then how do you know he's all those horrible things?"
eric picks his board up and leaves his lunch on the table to stalk off in response
sunwoo rolls his eyes and reaches for the leftovers
the big green monster that eric doesn't yet understand completely is jealousy rages on for the month you date changmin
eric hates that he isn't happy for you like everyone else seems to be and he wishes he could actually feel something that isn't a thunderstorm of anger, shame, and loneliness
he gets told it's puberty - his body shakes its head and explains that heartbreak can be a fickle thing
"don't be stupid, sixteen-year-olds don't fall in love."
your friend says to you when eric passes you in the hall in tears
he doesn't stop the natural reaction to squeeze past all the mumbling bodies to get to you and wrap his hands around your wrists
"eric?"
your voice is small and he hasn't properly spoken to you since you and changmin became....whatever
he's been doing so fucking bad in math
"what happened?"
"changmin and i broke up......he broke up with me....i don't know what i did wrong?"
eric confronts changmin who is laughing with some other upperclassmen outside of the gym, eric is shorter but he has slightly more muscle
of course - he's never been in a fight in his life
and when he asks changmin, what the hell his problem is, changmin doesn't get all in his face like eric thinks he should - like boys do in movies
his eyes just soften a little and he tells eric that he likes you, he does, but it's just he likes someone else a little more
eric doesn't wrap his head around that answer - who could changmin, actually who could anyone in the world, like more than you?
you're smart and you're kind and you're always putting other people first and you have lips that look like they'd taste faintly of peaches and eric lays in bed every day thinking about what it would be like to touch them you know.......with the pad of his finger or with his own mouth
he stares at changmin and changmin smiles back like he knows something better than eric does
eric decides he still doesn't like him but he walks away from the situation because he knows you can't fault people for falling in and out of love
but seriously - who in this school even measures up to you? changmin must be out of his mind.
eric repeats the sentiment to you when he's sitting criss-cross on your bedroom floor and you're rolling your eyes and telling him to shut up and do problem number five on the trig worksheet
in what feels like the blink of an eye, you and eric enter your senior year, and eric decides he's going to do something about how he feels
sunwoo claps him on the back as they skate into the school parking lot
"finally gonna ask them ou-"
his words die in his mouth when eric slides himself into a full stop in front of a student who has been puppy dog eyes for him since they transferred here last semester
they giggle when eric says something, sunwoo doesn't like where this is going
eric kicks his board up into his right hand and offers his left to them, sunwoo really doesn't like where this is going
eric turns to his friend over their shoulder before the couple disappears into the school doors, he gives him a thumbs up and sunwoo flips him off
what a goddamn idiot
you hit it off with eric's significant other right away
they're bubbly and they want you to tell them all about eric and you love eric (as a friend) so you're ready to spill the secret to making him happy
except when they start asking about specifics you don't know exactly what to say
"what's his favorite food, color, game, band, etc. etc. etc."
you know all the answers but those aren't the things you want to let them know about eric
you want to talk about the face he makes when you roll over and try to wake him up after you both fall asleep in the summer sweetgrass after camp, all nose twitching and hands up to shield his eyes from the sun
you want to talk about how eric actually hates big empty spaces because it makes him feel like he's lost, you want to say
"when we went to the history museum for our last trip of eighth grade, eric and i snuck off into the egypt exhibit. we were the only ones there and i had never seen eric so afraid - so raw and vulnerable and clinging onto me for dear life - he was taller than me back then, yet he felt so small like i should have held him my palm and closed my fingers. i wanted nothing more than to keep him safe."
you don't know how to describe it in words
the closest you get is that you want to tell them about eric's soul
you want to tell them they're the luckiest person in the world
to be loved by eric sohn is something ... magical, exceptional, all the adjectives you can cram into a sentence
but you don't because as much as you find yourself itching to share these details, you also for some reason find yourself selfishly hoarding them
they feel special and they feel intimate and like they are yours
but you are happy eric is happy, or at least he looks it
looks blissful and beautiful when he leans in to kiss his partner's temple, holds his big hands around their waist, helps them skate around the school parking lot
and one afternoon when you seek him out to ask how he did on a math final you have been helping him prepare for
you stumble on something you probably would have been better off never seeing
eric has his back against the wall of the gym building, fist in his mouth and eyes blown out and you see parts of his skin you haven't seen since you were too young to feel shame
if you hadn't stopped yourself out of habit you think you might have been caught by him and his partner
but your hand had flown over your mouth and you'd tripped backward in shock
when your heart had stopped racing, you'd found yourself in front of your locker and staring into the empty space at the back
sure im surprised, who wouldn't be - seeing their best friend like that? but what's this other stupid feeling in my gut?
"-jealous"
you jump back and see sunwoo beside you, popping gum and giving you a blank and long blink
"h-huh?"
"that idiot eric snuck out in the middle of physics and left me to die in that boring lecture. im so jealous, i want to sneak around instead of calculating the-hey are you ok?"
you slam your locker shut and sunwoo clicks his tongue at you with even more suspicion than before
you can't form a response so you just give him an abstract gesture toward the library
he nods and just as you vanish, eric appears red-faced and sweating over his shoulder
he opens his mouth, but then looks at your locker and back at sunwoo
"wait were you talking to-"
"ah there's prince charming - you left your backpack in physics."
after the 'incident' you subconsciously start to avoid eric
eric notices and stares at you from over the shoulder of his significant other or sunwoo
tries to catch you before you leave after school and texts you with questions about his math homework
you respond with lackluster links to youtube videos on formulas or just the answer in hopes he'll get a hint and give you space
but eric just looks confused and hurt when you bump into him in the halls
it's not his fault he doesn't know why you're like this - stop expecting him to read your mind!
you tell yourself, but don't act on it. don't make the effort to explain or let eric back in.
before you know it, it's the day of prom and you go stiff when your parents ask if you're going with eric
"why would i be going with him, we're just friends?"
"can't friends go with each other?"
you don't see eric the entire day and you assume he's getting ready for a memorable night with his date
sunwoo slides into the seat beside you at lunch without eric's laughter following behind him
"are you going?"
he asks and you look down into your plate
"probably not."
"do you want to go with me?"
sunwoo shows up (to your relief) in a suit and your parents know him as 'eric's friend'.
you drive to the school in silence and when you park you want to just get in there, show your face, and leave
when sunwoo stops you
for a second your stomach drops and you think he's going to confess, or worse, tell you that he knows
knows about how you really feel about eric.
knows that you might have been all happy and cheerful when eric started dating and having his own love life and then how that was just a veneer for the fact that you are too scared to cross the barrier of friendship and love for someone like eric.
someone you think for some reason you just don't deserve.
instead, he does neither
"let's not dance too much. i get tired easily."
"o-ok."
it's crowded and loud and you don't like the way the bass is turned up on the speakers
sunwoo doesn't seem to be too interested in anything other than his phone and you can't help but instinctively look around for eric
you talk to some friends, dance with a group of other people who came stag and then you see him
he's sitting next to sunwoo with his head in his hands
you've seen eric through thick and thin, you've seen him bruised up in the hospital after falling off his skateboard - you've seen him screaming his head off at the top of a rollercoaster - you've seen him red all the way up to his ears after being caught in a prank
but you've never seen him ....... like that
you rush over, sunwoo gives you a tilt of the head - silent but enough to let you know something is seriously wrong
"eric?"
"i don't want to be here anymore."
he lifts his head and the glitter under his eyelashes is wet and sparkling - his tie is done up the wrong way
"what happened? did you - did something-"
you don't know if you should ask if he got dumped or if he and his partner had a fight
either way, your assumptions are all wrong because sunwoo mouths to you
"he broke up with them."
and suddenly you don't understand - if eric is the one who broke up with them, why is he the mess?
sunwoo adds
"they didn't take it well."
you help eric up and if he wasn't so haggard with emotion - you would have lost your breath
his hair is cut nicely, slicked back and a pair of small hoop earrings highlight the way he's grown into the sharp, marble-like cut of his jawline
his lips are open just a bit, and they look softer in the low lighting than you ever remember
he's wearing the suit he wore to a cousins wedding two years ago but it's been tailored or maybe he's also grown wider
your mind swims through thoughts that you pretend don't exist about how strong he feels under your hands
"let's go outside, ok?"
"are you mad at me?"
eric asks through it all and your eyes widen
"no. i was just - i was just stressed about college, but we'll talk about that later."
outside you wipe eric's cheek with your sleeve and he starts to smile a little bit again
"why'd you break up with them?"
your voice is small, but he hears you even over the music that comes from inside
"i don't love them."
"how did you know?"
eric stares at you without a word.
he used to have eyes like a puppy that's always asking for a snack or a kiss, now that he's older the warm brown is still welcoming but it doesn't feel pleading anymore
right now you feel seen in a way you wouldn't categorize as friendly and that fact alone makes your heart beat a little louder in your ears
this is the first time in your life that you feel like eric is going to kiss you
after being friends for so long you feel like you're swaying back and forth between excitement and dread
did you know you didn't love them because you actually love -
a loud sound breaks both your concentrations, it comes from inside, and for a second you think someone set off fireworks or knocked over a display
but it's just the dj playing an obnoxious soundbite to announce the crowning of prom king and queen
eric gets up and inhales and you follow, about to ask if he wants to go inside and see
but eric takes his phone out and tells you he's going to text sunwoo that he's leaving
and that he's taking his date with him
"your date?"
"sunwoo's date."
it clicks for you and you laugh when eric suggests a drive to your favorite fast food place
you spend prom eating greasy fries and talking to eric about which college acceptions he's looking forward to the most even though you pretty much already know
not like you and him haven't divulged your dreams of the future to each other a hundred times before
eric tells you that he learned a new trick on his board and that he finally unblocked your ex-boyfriend changmin on instagram
you ask what that's all about - and eric snorts that he just didn't like his vibe from the beginning but it turns out he's ok
he doesn't mention the fact that changmin had sent him a message last year when he was graduating asking if eric could promise to take care of you
eric hadn't answered but knew intuitively what changmin had meant by 'take care' of you
you balance one long fry over the radius of your cup of diet cola and make the cutest face when it falls right in instead
you had thought about eric kissing you back in the parking lot, but right in that second is when eric wants to kiss you the most
the night ends with nothing of the sort - just you and eric and happiness that seems to have slipped through the cracks these past couple of weeks
when eric drops you off, your parents are bright eyed at the sight of him and it makes you embarrassed
when you get to your room you close the door and fall backwards onto your bed
eric's big smile comes to mind and it makes your chest feel like a frenzy of butterflies
you close your eyes and that smile turns to the face you'd caught eric making behind the gym and you have to sit up to shake it off
your skin is hotter to the touch, but you force yourself to ignore it
you graduate soon. there are other things to worry about than having seen your best friend......well.
eric ends up getting into his first choice which he says is all thanks to you because he would have totally flunked the math portion of the entrance tests if he hadn't had you pushing him through the woes of trigonometry
you also want to say something about him being on the soccer team all four years of highschool, but you keep that to yourself as he showers you with praise
you get your first choice too, it's different from eric's, but it's only a two-hour train ride away
when you both ask sunwoo where he got in he tosses the letter and you and eric nearly scream because when was he going to tell everyone that he got into SNU? eric says he didn't even know he applied!
one of the other seniors invites everyone to a post-graduation party and you and eric go together to pick up your gowns
and it all seems to be .......... better
you and eric are both going off to your dream schools (single and ready for adventure!) and you still have this day to cement another memory you're sure you'll look back on when you're older
the only issue is with all the bursting bubbly excitement you feel a ghost of something follow you around
are we going to drift apart now that we won't see each other every day? will eric still be my best friend?
you look at him and you don't see that ghost or those questions or anything but positivity and light
so you tell the ghost to fuck off and let you enjoy the time you two have left
of course, eric has the same ghost and when he tries to tell it to fuck off it just sneers big and nasty in his face
are we going to drift apart now that we won't see each other every day? will i still be their best friend?
eric gets too drunk at the party and jumps into someone's pool with his cap still on
sunwoo and you fish him out, scolding him and laughing at the same time
eric kisses sunwoo's cheek and turns to kiss yours too, he gets you on the corner of the lips
and then
you're both in college and it starts happening
eric is still that outgoing, talkative, and inviting kid who was bad at math
except now he's older and more handsome and even better at talking and he's studying criminal justice so he doesn't need math anymore
but you revert to old ways a little bit too much and throw yourself into your major with as much force as you can
you pile on classes and you ignore flirtatious glances from your partners for projects or the campus barista
it doesn't really make sense why you're doing it - you know you can handle a social life if you wanted it, but something about a new environment with no one you know around makes you feel weird
eric's instagram is flooded with new faces and old ones because he attempts to keep up even though you don't even try
you look at a photo of him and sunwoo, meeting up on a weekend at a skating event and it just hurts
it's been hurting to look at eric for a while now
and one day you realize you have had an unread text from him that's been sitting in your messages for over two weeks
you delete it with a shaking hand
"hey, you're in my pre-requisite class for linear algebra right?"
you blink and realize the voice is directed toward you, so you turn your head and see a blindingly handsome smile beam down at you
"y-yes im in math 240."
"i knew you looked familiar! im haknyeon and ive been wanting to ask for your help since the first week i am super bad at math but i need linear algebra for my major and so i wanted to know-"
his words jumble together, foggy in your brain until he's repeating himself and you nod along out of instinct
"so you'll do it?!"
you open your mouth and he grins wider
"do-do what?"
"tutor me?"
for a moment you're transported back to the sixth grade where eric is handing you his fractions worksheet with a frown
something twinges inside of your heart and you are about to say sorry, i can't help you
when haknyeon leans forward and plucks a stray leaf that's fallen onto your shoulder and his touch is light and full of sweetness
"looks like fall is really here!"
"ill tutor you."
haknyeon is like eric in a lot of ways, they have this high strung energy and when they're in a room they tend to attract people like they're the sun
but they're different too
haknyeon has a bit more maturity and focus, he talks about growing up in a rural area and understanding the concept of hardwork that seems to fly over the heads of other people
he is also what you would call undiscovered
unlike eric who has been there for every major life event up until now, haknyeon knows nothing about you and you know nothing about him
he's also better at math then eric ever was and at some point, you even suspect he's dumbing himself down to drag out your study sessions
you briefly catch him looking at the line of your neck one day when the heat is up too high in the study hall so you shrug off the baggy sweater you usually wear
maybe he likes me?
you wonder when you're working on a late night paper and your phone lights up with a text
haknyeon: just checked my score for our math test - an 86, you're turning me into a genius!
you smile but before you can reply another text comes in
eric: hey - long time no talk, are you doing ok?
eric knows he's popular
he knows that the people who hang around him are sometimes, more often than not, trying to get his attention in other ways than just casual
he doesn't get a big head about it or anything, but he's also never been good at rejection so he spends a lot of time putting himself in big group situations, making friends with everyone, being equally as nice to everyone
and when sunwoo asks if he's dating someone when they meet up eric just laughs
"dude im not interested in that right now."
"you're a freshman in college - so don't lie to me."
"so are you!"
sunwoo raises an eyebrow and turns his phone around to reveal his lockscreen - it's a photo of him and his partner and eric tackles him almost off the park bench
"since when!"
"since last week - now get off of me and tell me why you're really not dating anyone."
eric peels himself off of his friend and his own phone, full of notifications and college emails is devoid of the one person he wants to hear of the most
eric doesn't have to say your name for sunwoo to know
"just tell them-"
"they haven't responded to me in almost a month......i guess childhood friendship really doesn't matter when you grow up."
sunwoo wants to argue, but he has nothing to prove otherwise, he hasn't talked to you either
"hey. if that's true then you gotta stop jerking off pathetically to someone who you think isn't ever gonna love you-"
"dude ew c'mon-"
"eric, seriously - are you going to move on?"
you and eric continue to float on without each other
he pretends the hole in his heart shaped just like you isn't there and you get closer and closer to someone that isn't him
your first post on instagram after a while is a photo haknyeon took of you outside of the library, it was the consequence of a bet
you're holding your test and his - it's the same score - you had bet he wouldn't be able to get it and he did
your losing punishment was making a post on public social media confessing that haknyeon was just as good at math as you were
eric hovers over the photo when it pops up on his refresh
you're scowling, but even eric can tell it's fake. whoever took this photo is someone you like being around
eric wants to double tap and leave a comment about how grumpy you look
but the confidence and free caring attitude he prides himself on seems to disappear
is the person you're with more than a friend? is he what you've been so busy with?
fall turns to winter which turns to spring which starts its slow crawl to summer and to a long break after your first year as a quote-unquote adult
you and haknyeon are still just friends, you still haven't responded to eric and eric has given up on trying to get a hold of you
then you get a call from someone unexpected
"sunwoo?"
"are you going to visit home during your break?"
"no...why?"
"oh."
there's a long pause and you somehow feel dejavu - transported back to the silent car ride to prom
it had always felt like sunwoo knew your secret, it had always felt like sunwoo would be the one to break the ice first
you don't even recognize your voice in your head as it starts to taunt again
wishing he'd say something about eric? want to know if eric is going to visit home? want to ask if eric has been ok? eric? eric? eric? why are you calling me sunwoo why isn't it-
"just wanted to ask. hope you've been good, are you and that guy on your instagram dating?"
"hak-haknyeon? no we're not."
sunwoo makes a noise on the end of the line and tells you it was nice hearing from you
neither of you bring up eric.
haknyeon shows up at your dorm with a duffel bag over his shoulder on the last day of classes
"want to come to the beach with my friends and i, we have a place for the week and we have an extra spot."
"an extra room?"
he scratches the back of his neck and shakes his head, "n-no you'd have to share with me."
something tells you this is the pivotal moment you have been praying for
something that will set the trajectory of your life that's been consumed with studying and loneliness to something better, something brighter, something sweeter
you want to fall in love with haknyeon, the little voice in your head pleas, so just say yes
but you don't. you lie and say you have plans with your family and haknyeon hangs his head in disappointment
as he waves and heads down the hall - you also realize that you aren't going to get a second chance
haknyeon - whether or not he likes you or not - is going to go to this beach vacation and wash you off of him in the rolling waves
someone else is going to come and steal his attention
"just like highschool."
you mutter and lock the door behind you
your cheeks are wet with tears before you can even process the fact that you've started to cry
eric's ears ring the entire time he's waiting in the airport
his parents and university soccer coach had agreed, without much of his consent. that it would be good for him to attend this soccer camp during the break from his studies
it's in germany and he's supposed to be going with three other teammates who are running late to board
he looks down at his shoes and the laces are mismatched, one is the original pair from these sneakers and the others are a way flashier neon purple
suddenly your voice fills his head
"hey, are you serious about going skating in sneakers without laces eric?!"
"they're not without laces - i just lost the laces off my left one but they're perfectly good sneakers and i haven't rubbed the soles off the bottom like i have with every other pair!"
"don't be stupid, if they fall off in the middle of a trick and you eat shit and end up in the hospital you're going to be bothering me for chicken soup. here take these."
"these are NEON purple!"
"just like your personality, here let me fix your sneakers-"
without thinking about it his feet start to move and he doesn't know where the nearest bus or train is that's going to take him where he wants to go
but it doesn't matter - he just knows that germany is not where he's supposed to be, at least not now, not when he thinks about what he's going to give up again
what he's been giving it up since he was a scraggly kid, since he couldn't do multiplication in his head and since he understood what it was like to watch his heart break over and over again
you are in the middle of packing your bag when someone knocks on your door again
you half assume it's going to be haknyeon again, or maybe a little part of you wants it to be him so you can have another shot at moving on
but when you open the door you forget to wipe your face and eric is meet with your puffy-eyed expression
"why are you crying?"
he blurts out and his backpack falls from his shoulders as you feel your throat go dry
"are you hurt? is there someone i should go kill?"
your trying to say something - force a word or even a hiccup up and out of your mouth
"i haven't seen you cry since you got second place in that math competition when we were fifteen, i didn't think-"
"eric?"
you say his name like it's foreign and eric thinks a knife would hurt less being lodged into his side
"hey, yeah it's me."
"why are you - why are you here?"
because i love you, i have loved you since i almost threw a punch at that kid changmin for daring to say there was anyone else in the world he could love that wasn't you.
"i don- i just-"
his eyes fall on your open suitcase
"are you going home for the break?"
"are you?"
"no, im supposed to be in germany."
you sound out the word germany in response and he just stands there in the doorframe too scared to go inside
this is your room - but it isn't your bedroom, the room that he knows and has been in a million times - this is different so it feels like he can't tread with ease
your body blocks his way and you don't show any intention of moving
so you both stand in limbo for a moment before you sniffle back whatever tears were left and go
"should we go somewhere to talk?"
it's the museum you went to when you were in the sixth grade, not that you and eric even really think about that fact - just that it's the closest thing near your university that you could think of
cafes felt too close and intimate, parks felt too expanse and strange
a museum was the perfect place - you and eric could talk, but not lean in too close and not raise your voices in fear of disturbing others
the issue though is that it's pretty much empty and the egypt exhibit is still the same
"im not scared anymore!" he jokes - pointing a hand at a wall of mannequins dressed as pharaohs "i just remembered that i was clinging onto you for dear life last time we were here."
you nod and look at your hands - you had been packing that bag to go home, you thought sunwoo had dropped a hint that eric would be there too
you had wanted to plan out what to say when you got there on the trip back
you wanted to be prepared, but as always he'd bulldozed that plan to shreds
and now it was kind of awkward, like picking at a fresh wound on your knee
"hey- can i ask you something."
"oh - sure?"
"why haven't you texted me back."
eric stops and so do you and you're in the part of the exhibit that's the darkest because it's overshadowed by a large sculptured pyramid
you can see shadows on half of his face - he looks sad and you wish you could do anything to make him laugh
"i just didn't want to bother you."
"bother me? you're my best friend-"
"we're not best friends anymore."
eric takes the hit that you don't mean to throw out, it just comes out because it's what you're feeling
"no-not that i don't want to be, it's just you moved on - so fast - became everything and more eric and im not like that. im not super great at new places, things, and people."
"i know."
he steps closer to you and there's a weight on your shoulders that feels gross and shameful but eric crouches forward a little like he's got some kind of weight on him too.
"you're shy and you sometimes self yourself short - you don't see yourself for everything you're worth so you avoid conversations and interactions that might turn out bad."
he says the words like a grown up and you almost can't believe it's really him
"i knew that when we were younger - and you knew it too, you knew that under all the class clown antics and open hearted idiocy i was also insecure and scared and..and bad at math."
"you were never an idiot eric - don't say that about yourself."
he swallows and his lips don't stretch into a smile like you thought they would
he looks at you and you think as much as it hurts in this moment, your blood boils at the sight of him
he's everything someone could dream of - all perfect lines and hard-earned slim muscule
"it feels like i was and like i am because maybe im not good at math or whatever but i also was never good at understanding my feelings and like an idiot i confused everything in my heart for - "
he stops himself and you bite your tongue because you don't know how that sentence is going to finish
"if i tell you how i feel, will you promise you'll tell me how you feel truthfully?"
"feel about what?"
"feel about you - if i tell you what ive really felt about you since i can remember, will you promise to tell me the truth and only the truth about what you've felt about me?"
someone scuttles by you two - pushes past and through the long exhibit hall before turning the corner and disappearing
it gives you the ten or so seconds to steady your breathing and agree
"i promise."
eric's phone rings in his pocket and his ringtone is still the same, the one he set for his mother
you guess she's probably calling to find out why he isn't in germany and you almost tell him to pause and pick up because she is his mother
but eric lets the call go silent and he looks at you again
"i have loved you for a long time - at one point i thought it was the way a friend loves someone, maybe even a brother but then i knew that it was different because i didn't want your help with fractions and i didn't want to be your buddy during camp i wanted to kiss you the way people kissed other people in movies. when i thought about someone else doing it, even sunwoo, i thought i would throw up - and i did once when you kissed that guy at one of those dances we had during the summer - not the point, but the point is-"
"i love you too. i knew when i saw you and your partner at the time behind the gym and they were giving you a-"
the blaring voice of the main desk comes on and over the museum speakers, it tells you there is fifteen minutes left before closing
eric seems paralyzed by your admission and you think you're a teenager again with the way your heart leaps in your throat
"oh."
"yeah. oh."
when eric kisses you for the first time there is so much force behind it that you're scared you're gonna topple over and ontop of the glasses cases full of ancient egyptian jewels
you have to clutch his shoulders and dig your nails in just to let him know that as excited as he is the museum is closing in fifteen - well fourteen minutes now and it'd be creepy to do anything more than talk in front of all these pharaohs
eric laughs so loud it echoes seemingly through the whole building, you two get an annoyed look from the guard at the door when you blunder out of there giggling and holding hands
you agree you two should go back to your hometown for the rest of the break, but before you do you head back to your dorm
and eric is kissing you again before you're even through the door
and when you ask in the middle, out of breath and hair a mess
"where did you learn to kiss like that?"
he grins
"i know you really well - did you think i wouldn't guess the ways in which you want to be loved too?"
it's the kind of line you think you'd both gag at if you heard it in a movie
but that just earns eric a swoon-worthy look and your hand back around his neck
sunwoo is not surprised to see you and eric all cuddled up close when you all meet up back in your hometown
he looks between you two and shakes his head
"it took you two so long, i thought i'd be waiting till we were in our fifties."
you and eric are too infatuated with each other to answer the snark with anything except
"hey sunwoo - you'll be at our wedding right?"
sunwoo groans, which just translates to
wouldn't miss it for the world, idiots.
279 notes · View notes
warmau · 3 years
Text
☆: bounty hunter! you x thief! minghao au tw: ment of violence/weapons | this was in my drafts so i decided to finish it
“there’s no way in the world any of you are going to catch him, but if you do -”
the head of the police, hong joshua, stands tall and straight behind the podium
the gold of his medals shines harshly under the white light of the town courthouse 
and your mind wanders off as you think about the pretty penny you could get if you were to just happen upon stealing one of those medals....not that a bounty hunter should ever steal 
“but if you do, the police will wipe your own felonious records clean and even offer a good amount of monetary compensation.”
that perks your interest, since you’re currently looking for some extra cash
plus being a bounty hunter isn’t a so called ‘clean’ job - you have stains on your record you’d like to see get erased.
and you know mr. hong doesn’t like you all that much so having him be the one clean up for you is sickly satisfying to some part of your psyche 
you’ve been working in this shitty underground world for too long 
someone’s voice comes from the back of the interrogation room and you don’t even have to look to know that it’s that newbie seokmin 
all excited and bouncy and not-yet-dead-and-cold-inside like the rest of the people around you
“who is the criminal we’re chasing?”
the monitor on the rolled up caddy beside the policeman flickers on 
“xu minghao. he’s a notorious thief in the city, responsible for the last string of high art robberies from the homes and personal collections of the elite.”
you snort, the ‘elite’, being rich makes you some kind of level above human now doesn’t it?
“his latest victims are the choi family, he stole not only paintings but some jewelry as well - possibly high end watches and the sort.”
“choi family?”
god this new kid knows nothing
“choi seungcheol’s family” you say with a yawn “you know, the choi seungcheol - the mayor.”
seokmin gasps and you finally look at him. 
he’s got a build to him that probably helps with physical altercations but he gives off the vibe that he’d faint at the sight of blood
“exactly.” 
joshua shoots a pointed look at you and you kind of dance around in the disgust 
“which is why we are going out on a limb and asking for the bounty hunters to help. the choi family desperately wants these pieces returned to them.”
you look at minghao’s face on the screen, it’s obviously not a mugshot so you note that the police force has actually never caught him
it’s a kind of photo that looks like it has been pulled off a social media account
minghao is standing in some sort of white room, he’s tilting his head and looking at the camera - or maybe the person holding it - and one of his eyes has a piercing blue colored contact in it
his features are angular, sharp, and long - but they fit together to make an unusually handsome kind of face
you slide forward in your chair and take your own phone out to snap a picture of the monitor
“how much for him?”
another voice echoes somewhere from the corner
joshua’s straight-faced expression twitches like he’s trying to believe the number that comes out of his mouth.
“ten million”
you keep counting the zeros in your head as you push your keys into your motorcycle and adjust yourself on the seat
you could retire with that kind of money. you live a frugal existence as it is.
you know that minghao is probably also somewhere in the city, still plotting for his next job. 
he’s been hitting rich people’s houses for two months straight and the choi’s are a victory, for sure, but they’re still not the biggest shark in the ocean.
the people who sponsor them, the people who made seungcheol mayor, minghao has to be going for them next
you make a list of the three family names that come to mind, luckily enough you also know someone who works in the business of ‘technology’ or so who can help you track down the lead forming in your head
you look one last time at the picture of minghao on your phone before you slip it into your jacket pocket and pull out of the parking lot
“how much?”
“stick-up-his-ass hong said ten million, the choi’s really want there watches and monet’s back.”
jihoon turns to you with a deadpan expression
“you know monet’s can go up to ten times that amount right?”
you shrug and shove a half eaten bar of candy in your mouth that you stole from a bowl by his computer
“i don’t know, i didn’t go to college for art history. anyway, can you help?”
“how much of your cut will i get.”
you lick your lips and think for a second
“if i get him alive i’ll cut you in thirty percent. if he’s dead, ten.”
jihoon taps his foot and adjusts the glasses on his nose, he told you once they’re for the blue light or whatever that come out of his six computers.
“deal.”
you come over and see him open up the page of one of the most expensive and professional art dealers in this city, jihoon mentions that this person is in charge of the buying accounts for all of the three families you mentioned
he also happens to manage the choi’s, so looking into him could lead to possible other leads for the three targets you have in mind
“if minghao is planning to rob them - he needs to know what pieces to take. he’s probably also tracking down what they’re currently thinking about buying.”
“yeah, and im gonna assume - you know, bounty hunters intuition or whatever, that he’s going to hit whichever family recently bought the most expensive piece.”
jihoon’s fingers type faster than your eyes can follow. he doesn’t even seem to move his face, just his pupils and then a bunch of screens are popping up everywhere
you had befriended him on an assignment to catch a hacker - not jihoon, although he’s actually got a price on his head too - but another hacker who was clambering up jihoon’s business
you watch as jihoon does his magic, and then in about ten or so minutes you have an answer
“one of the family’s just bought and received a vase from this guy, it won its auction at around twenty five million. it’s from the ming dyn-”
“which family?”
you don’t care if they got a vase, a sofa, a painting, or a gold and diamond encased piece of potato - something in your stomach told you that whoever just spent the most was on minghao’s radar and minghao was on yours
jihoon adjusts his glasses
“that would be ... oh, that would be the yoon family.”
you taste something iron on the tip of your tongue, yoon jeonghan was on the cover of last month’s vogue if you remember correctly
“got it. thanks.”
you shrug your jacket back on and jihoon spins around in his chair when you get to the door of his dark apartment 
“remember, thirty if he’s alive!”
“and ten if he’s not!”
you don’t like the fact that this new kid, seokmin, is standing outside the giant gates of the yoon family mansion 
he’s wearing a cut off white t-shirt and new balances for christs sake
“hey!” he looks like he’s seen the sun when he spots you sort of loitering nearby, you try to ignore him but he’s coming over
“hi.”
“staking out the yoon’s? my first impression was they’d be minghao’s next targets because they’re rich and like art too.”
you wonder how he knows that so you ask, half expecting he might actually tell you - which would be a stupid thing to do.
he does.
“oh! i mean their son is a designer, they must be the best people to steal from.”
that’s so fucking ridiculous but he’s actually right. going to tell jihoon im cutting his share in half since apparently his intel could have been free.
“uhuh. well good luck.”
the words are stale when you say them, but sparkling eyes seokmin takes them to heart with a gracious “you too!”
you actually didn’t come to stake them out - you came to see if minghao might be staking them out
no good thief actually just bursts into someone's home, they need to know every nook and cranny of a place if they want to get out clean
judging by minghao’s track record, you can tell he’s cautious and detailed
you circle the house at a safe distance and then head back home, you read a bunch of articles on minghao’s past crimes and eat the only thing you have in your fridge which is mint ice cream - it was left there by a late night hook up who’d doordashed 7/11 even when you told them not to
you do some other minor research on smaller bounties you could chase after minghao is caught, none are interesting or any where near the price of minghao’s
you lay down and the stray you recently started letting crawl through the fire escape makes a little fuzzy circle at the base of your feet
you look at your phone, look at the photo of minghao
wonder if he’s as detailed orientated in other things aside from stealing. looks like he’d know what to do with his hands.
you fall asleep with the phone on your chest.
the next day, you’re texting jihoon about the seokmin thing - he tells you to piss off and not even think about downing his cut or he’ll leak your social security on the internet
that’s so fucked up dude
you’re a shit bounty hunter and im a hermit hacker we aren’t good people anyway
fine, are the yoon’s buying any other vases or whatever
actually, they won an auction a month ago for some ceramics. heard they’re coming tomorrow.
oh, might be a good time to steal that vase and some extra trinkets too for our thief 
look how ugly these things are tho
jihoon sends you a photo pulled from the auctioning website, they are ugly, but they’re expensive
you rub your temple and decide that’s enough for today, you don’t see seokmin around either
seungcheol’s generic smiling im-a-good-mayor-and-i-kiss-babies face is grainy on your tv
you eat the takeout you picked up on the way back and are only mildly surprised when you notice someone familiar in the crowd
this is old footage, from a rally he did before the crime
your eyes pan to the corner and pull out one person from the sea of faces, everyone looks so excited to see seungcheol, minghao stands staunch and unwavering in the moving bodies
he’s not grinning - he’s kind of half smirking from what you can tell
he really does his research, i kind of like him
you put the chopsticks into your mouth, yeah. i think he’s going to be a fun one to catch.
goddamn seokmin is here again - on the night the drop shipment of the ceramics is scheduled - you tell yourself you were a clown for believing all that ‘i just thought they’d be the right family!’ bullshit he was telling you about
he probably has an informant of his own, definitely not jihoon though. seokmin is the type jihoon would rather drive a usb through his head than ever cooperate with
you avoid him the second you see his strong shilloute and make your way to the otherside of the house, right on the outskirts of the back garden
there’s one person in it - none of the immediate yoon family you can recognize, probably just a worker
you know there’s three entrances from here - the garden doors, the side opening that leads to an underground washing room, and there’s also a way to get into the back of the kitchen
you are betting that either one of them might be a good choice for minghao, but you put your bet on the washing room - it has stairs that lead up into a spare bedroom which is adjacent to a gallery type room inside of the huge mansion
it’s where the family will probably put the items, rich people love to be all like “look at my room of expensive things you don’t get to touch”
you stick your tongue out to yourself, morally you don’t care about thievery. especially when it’s stolen art stolen from people who just want it to feel superior to others
but minghao is worth ten million, that’s why im taking the higher ground on this ‘crime’
bounty hunters are allowed to carry guns, but you’ve never liked them - you like to use mace instead
that being said, you’ve brought your gun along - unloaded - just to use a scare tactic if push comes to shove. it’s heavy and it reminds you constantly of the job you came to do.
no getting distracted by newbie muscle heads or how hot you’re coming to think minghao is 
you hear something - eyes darting to behind one of the columns of a large gazebo in the garden
you swear you see something slink across as the only person in the garden gets up to head back inside
keeping your movements and noise to a minimum, you position your body for a better view and after what seems like two heartbeats you see him dart from the enclosure and toward the mansion
you don’t follow immediately, the only way you’re going to catch someone who is so elusive is if you one up him
you have the element of surprise, but not really, he might be expecting personal guards of the yoon household or the police
not a rogue bounty hunter with a can of mace
but he’s still expecting - and someone whose entire job is to be like a shadow - you’ve got to be careful
you wait the amount of time you deem appropriate and then do the same, you realize when you slip through the backdoor of the washroom that now you’re also committing a crime of breaking and entering
you’re sure the yoon’s won’t mind though - you are about to make sure their ceramics and vases don’t get stolen
plus, you checked up on all of them, the main family shouldn’t be home. the only people on premises are some cleaners and the gardener. you’re sure minghao knows that too.
you map out the house in your mind from what you’ve learned in the past couple of days and find the gallery with ease
you can see the large double doors are open just enough for a person to slip through
so he’s already in ther-
“HEY YOU! YOU BETTER STOP!”
your eyes widen and you push inside to see what’s going on 
seokmin, flashing something in his right hand and holding a light in the other is pointing at the long, lean figure of minghao
he’s standing there in the circle of light holding the vase you and jihoon had been looking at before
his eyes are unimpressed when they settle on seokmin
“ok, ive stopped - now what are you going to do?”
“im going to arrest you and bring you to the poli-”
the vase that’s held professionally between both his arms then gets dropped and crashes to the floor
the crescendo of noise startles seokmin because it’s the one thing all these new kids who want to try this kind of work get wrong
the thief is never going to drop the valuable goods - except they are, getting caught is worse then anything else. 
there will always be shit to steal - except you know if you’re in jail.
minghao beelines for the doors and you’re there, big grin and mace in hands
“hi!”
his eyes widden and you tackle him with ease, one hand bent behind his back as you make sure to keep your weight off him
“ugh, that big idiot had a partner?”
“he’s not my partner, by the way that vase is worth more than what im getting for your head.”
minghao shifts his cheek against the hard floor of the gallery and he’s smiling back up at you
“how much for me?”
“choi’s but ten million.”
he makes a pfft sound as he releases air from between his lips
“cheap as fuck.”
seokmin tries to bound over to help once he comes to, but you bite at him to back off. this is your win.
he says he can drive you and minghao to the station, but you tell him again that you’ve got this on your own
you kind of feel bad about how flustered he is and you tell him he can still brag about how you two were the only people with sense to look at the yoon’s 
for some reason, that actually brightens him up. he leaves to go downstairs and you don’t know if he sticks around or goes off on another job.
you get the handcuffs on minghao’s wrists before the workers, who hear the noise come running up in terror
you flash your bounty id and they scramble to get a hold of the local police office
minghao sits up against the wall and you sit directly in front of him - you can see him better with the lights on
his dark hair is long in the back and messy, his eyes are brown and long and twinkle when you look into them
the bottom corners are highlighted by what you can’t tell if is sweat or glitter
“you’re different”
he starts and you put up a finger
“im not different, im just experienced.”
“you like money more than you like your morals.”
you put the finger down and gleam at him
“bingo”
“so why are you sitting here waiting to hand me over for some chump change like ten million dollars when you and i are inches away from a collection that’s worth close to a hundred million?”
you touch the holster on your hip and tilt your head
“we - even the two of us - wouldn’t be able to steal everything in there. we’d need a whole team and-”
you start as minghao open’s his mouth to counter. all his teeth are white and straight.
“and if we could, you’d backstab me and take it all and run because you just said it yourself. money over morals.”
“ive got morals when im dealing with the right people.”
the snort you let out is louder than you expect and it makes minghao cock an eyebrow
“don’t care, you’re a professional liar. plus hong said he’d clear our records and get us that money.”
“joshua hong works for choi seungcheol who is a bigger liar than i am and you know it.”
there’s real spite in the way he says it - you assume he’s probably had interactions with both. or he’s just grown up in this city like you have, all the trouble politics can cause - all the stupid, underhanded shit that goes on
he leans a little forward
“plus, you’re hot. usually anyone who manages to catch me is very gruff and very mean.”
“i am gruff and mean, don’t test me.”
you banter but then look around and the gardener who was supposed to stay up here with you and minghao has turned his attention elsewhere - normal people don’t like facing criminals and well...whatever category bounty hunters are in.
“what’s the most expensive thing in that room.”
you ask under your breath suddenly, the police won’t be here for another five minutes at least. 
you text jihoon to tap into their comms and let you know the exact moment they’re at the door.
minghao shines that grin, slender fingers lift up and toward the door
“i broke it, but that place is jammed of other million dollar treasures. i saw an original signac that could score us close to 17 million.”
“a signac? who is that?”
minghao laughs with his hands still behind him
“so you’re hot but not into art, i can still work with that. he’s an artist, paul signac. the yoon’s own ‘la corne d'or.’” 
you shrug your shoulders again and pretend you don’t hear the first part but mutter that art doesn’t make sense to you and minghao lets out another quieter laugh
“it’s a painting of boats but it looks psychedelic almost, super colorful. thirty six or so inches across.”
you think to yourself - one painting and it’s 17 million, what if you get another painting with it
“ok...anything else in there catch your eye?”
minghao wiggles a little 
“lots, i know art like people know starbucks orders. very well.”
your phone pings and it’s jihoon’s warning. the police are going to be coming upstairs to take minghao off your hands in the next sixty to ninety seconds.
“i can’t trust you.”
he thins his lips and then taps your foot with his own, does a weird jostle of his body and then to your shock breaks out of his handcuffs with ease
he rubs his wrists as you think you hear some noise downstairs and the gardener jumps out of his seat to go greet the police without noticing the thing that just happened only a feet away from him
“i’ve had a bobby pin this whole time, i could have run away five whole minutes ago instead of giving you a history lesson on boat paintings worth more money than you’ve ever dreamt of.”
you don’t miss a beat 
“let’s get the fucking boats then.”
you get up and minghao takes a hold of your hand in a way you haven’t experienced since maybe middle school
like when a beloved childhood friend would take you and lead you toward the playground, giggle about school or your parents, pull you in to a fun moment under the basking sun
you and him stand, hand in hand, in front of the painting he mentioned
it’s pretty, it almost looks like it was drawn by crayons, you wonder why it’s so expensive 
“let’s take it and the two sketches over there, one’s a lady with a piano the other is a couple under an umbrella
“are they-”
“at least two million each. plus - we can comeback for the ceramics later.”
you don’t know why it makes you feel warm - but it does and you take the two framed sketches off the wall
the painting is large, but minghao has done this enough times before that he knows how to handle it - you two are out the hall and down the stairs by the time you hear the police shuffling up them
took their time thinking he’d just be sitting up there wrapped up like a present huh?
you think to yourself, minghao is quick on his feet and leads you in the direction of a inconspicuous looking tiny car that could seat you, him and maybe that stray that hangs around your apartment 
he opens the back and it is a perfect size for the painting
“did you come here on your bike?”
you realize the whole look of you must give away the fact that you ride one
“never, i dont bring it on jobs because people know what it looks like.”
he tips his fingers toward you in acknowledgement
“good because this car isn’t mine either, so add auto theft to the list of crimes you’re committing with me on this first date.”
you bite the inside of your cheek, can’t tell if he’s joking or not
he hits the gas before there’s any movement on the street where it’s parked - the yoon mansion fades into the distance as he rushes into the evening traffic
“is this the part where you kick me to the curb?”
you ask
minghao takes one hand off the wheel and puts it on your thigh
“this is the part where you tell me where you live so we can go get your things and ride off into the sunset, bonnie.”
you laugh
“so you’re clyde?”
he looks at you at a red light - looks at your lips and then your eyes
“do you want me to be?”
you can decide the answer to that yourself
*if you’re interested here is la corne d’or on the sothebys website. 
380 notes · View notes
warmau · 3 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au xiaojun kind of getting into the groove of writing so, happy late birthday xj! find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung | renjun | jeno
"his birthday is literally a month away."
kun says and you shrug your shoulders, bringing the straw of your milkshake to your lips
"you're the one who taught me it's always good to plan in advance."
"you don't need a month to plan a birthday party, plus its xiaojun - not ten - who would probably insist on a whole gala."
ten throws a look across the table but doesn't dispute this fact
you tap your fingers on your drink and set it down to mumble something about how fine, you'll do it yourself if they don't want to help
it takes two seconds for kun to give an exasperated sigh after that and agree to help you after all
you smile and tell him you knew he would, he's too much of a micromanager to refuse
ten laughs and sicheng smirks as he doesn't look up from his phone
kun gives you the same look ten gave him a minute ago
you've been friends with xiaojun for a good year now
ever since he nearly lost bella when she got off her leash at the local park and you bolted after her like any good citizen would before she could wander off into the street
xiaojun and you have gotten closer
you kind of get him in a way that not a lot of people do
his humor can be kind of dry, and he tends to be picky about certain things
you're exactly the same way so you never really get mad about it - you both have come to learn the things you dislike and like about literally everything
being friends with someone who is as particular about movie popcorn and indoor room temperatures is a blessing more than people might think
the other members see the similarities between you two and more often than not they're happy that xiaojun, who can also be kind of reserved around strangers, has found someone that makes him so comfortable
everyone in their apartment is a character from hendery to yangyang but xiaojun meshes best with you
so it's kind of no surprise that even after a short time of being friends, and most of that time spent around the others
you two start getting the off-handed "you're so alike, why don't you just date?" comments
hendery is the first person to say it after you guys spend hours playing video games together
you and xiaojun are so in sync about everything that the rest of the team feels like you guys have to be playing together when in reality you're not even in the same room
the immediate response is for you to cackle into your headset microphone and for xiaojun to let out a high-pitched, almost theatrical 'never!'
it passes over your heads and nothing changes
but then everyone seems to be saying it
"only you two can put up with each other."
"have you ever considered being more than friends?"
"oh you're 'hanging out' again or are you just actually going on a 'date'?"
the words are supposed to carry absolutely no weight
but at some point when someone says something you end up looking at xiaojun out of the corner of your eye for some kind of response that isn't just a staunch and straightforward
"never!"
it somehow also manages to get worse the month you're planning for his party in secret, both the teasing questions and your weird hope that xiaojun will one day say something different
nearly everyone knows you're trying to put this thing together but him and maybe that's why they tease
or maybe it's because xiaojun only ever seems fully himself when you're beside him
the way the tension in his shoulders falls completely to pieces when you topple over to spread out like a starfish on his sheets
the way the look of complete boerdom on his features shift around and up into a smile when you open the door holding your favorite cold drinks from the bubble tea place next door
the way xiaojun has never let someone close to him like this before - the way he lets you get cloes.
doesn't flinch when you lean over to brush an eyelash from his cheek, seems totally content with having you put a hand on his knee when you're all seated around the table and arguing over who goes next in this game of monopoly
it's a couple of days till the party and you are standing in the parking lot of the apartment building xiaojun lives in, you both have run away from the noise of his roommates
"hey, what do you want for your birthday?"
you feel hot when you ask - and it's not just because of the summer weather
xiaojun's head tilts as he says he hasn't thought about it
"actually, i'd love it if everyone got off our backs with his 'dating' crap."
dating crap
"do you hate it that much?"
"it just feels like they're taking it too seriously."
you run your tongue over your teeth and the unusual pause makes xiaojun narrow his eyes, in the evening darkness you think maybe he won't notice the confusing expression on your face but he does
"did i say something wrong?"
it's almost like he's poking at the sleeping giant question that you both are too nervous to actually ask - do we like each other in a way that's more than just friends? is everyone just pointing out the obvious?
"no, i just got lost in my thoughts for a second."
your mouth feels dry when xiaojun looks like he's going to step closer to you but doesn't
your saving grace is hendery's head popping out over the balcony and yelling for you two to get back inside before the mosquitos eat you alive
xiaojun holds the door open, but you tell him you need to go home early
that night you look at your checklist of things to do for his birthday
you've already sent out invites, you put in the order for the cake, and you got all the decorations
two things are left, pick up cake and snacks and get present
"dating crap"
you say out loud to yourself and for some reason, it hurts in your chest. you decide you'll just get xiaojun some kind of giftcard, maybe so he can buy more games.
"dude, xiaojun is like a cat."
kun says and you try to balance the cake in your hands as you two make your way to his car
it's the day of the party, kun is lugging bags of snacks and you're thankful that the cake has xiaojun's name on it spelled correctly, but something doesn't feel celebratory about all this
the excitement of making xiaojun happy has turned to anxiety ever since your talk in the parking lot
dating crap, dating crap, dating crap - did i say something wrong?
you squeeze the thought from your mind and look at kun with your brows furrowed
"what?"
"he's like a cat ok, he'll never show how much he wants something until he gets it."
it's cryptic and you tell kun you don't know what he's talking about, the cake is cold even through the bag it's in as you place it on your lap in the passenger seat
kun sighs as if he knows you're just being difficult
"sure, anyway xiaojun will be back to the apartment at seven so we should have enough time to set everything up."
at a red light, just as you're deep in mixing thoughts about xiaojun and your feelings and his feelings and how you sometimes get embarrassed seeing him walk around shirtless or eating from the same plate as him
kun goes, "by the way what did you get him as a present?
"oh a giftcard for games."
kun taps his finger against the wheel
xiaojun is actually surprised when he walks through the door and you all jump up with balloons and cheers and brightly colored party hats
he immediately looks at you in the crowd and asks
"you did this all for me?"
your heart threatens to jump up and out of your chest because he should look normal like he always does
but he's standing there with his grey t-shirt and silver chain looking like a sculpted masterpiece bestowed on you from heaven itself
god, i have it bad.
"we did it together!"
"nah it was like all them!"
hendery counters your modesty before throwing his arms around xiaojun into a half tackle hug
the party is like ... any other party
kun was kind of write, you didn't need to take a whole month to plan, but you're glad it is all going smoothly
people are enjoying the food, people are playing the usual games and chitchatting and summer is wafting in from the open balcony door
the pets are scampering around from lap to lap and someone has put on music that's upbeat but not ear piercing or distracting
xiaojun is being passed around for presidents and hugs and congratulations for another year of his life
and you are in the kitchen constantly putting new bowls of chips out, busying yourself with your hands to fight this weird churn of your stomach
xiaojun looks so handsome i could be sick. i want all of his attention but that's such a horrible thing to think - this is his party, this is literally. his. party.
someone taps your shoulder and you half expect it to be another person asking where the dip is when you turn to see xiaojun
"thank you so much"
his voice is softer than usual
"oh don't thank me, it's your birthday, it's the least i could do."
"i guess when i said i don't want a present you went with a party which is so sweet and unexpected."
the compliment goes over your head because the mention of that conversation has you thinking about it again.
dating crap. did i say something wrong - you feel cold in an apartment of packed bodies - it's like he was saying i don't like you like that. i don't love you.
"a-ah, yeah. i did also get you a present."
you fish the gift card that was put in a pretty envelope by the employee out of your pocket and hand it to him shyly
"i know it's not much-"
"no, you know me so well. you know i wanted to get all those new skins and stuff."
he's gripping the cup of soda in his hand unusually tight, you try not to notice the way it makes the veins that run up his forearm stand out
"xiaojun!"
someone's attention is needed and he disappears with a little smile. the conversation feels so stoic. it doesn't feel the way you and him talk.
and then somehow you end up in a circle on the floor with bella in your lap playing truth or dare
it's a birthday party in a huge apartment, so it's bound to reflect some of the traditions of high school
also hendery got too excited about playing it and no one wanted to say no
everyone starts off the way these things always go, embarrassing borderline comedic dares. stupid truth questions so that roommates can out other roommates for their mistakes.
you laugh a lot, you notice xiaojun keeps looking at you
then it gets to the birthday boy himself and hendery's big white grin kind of scares you
"so xiaojun, truth or dare?"
"truth"
a loud ringing of 'oooh's' plays through the walls and you swallow
"is it true..........you aren't romantically interested in your best friend?"
all eyes turn to you and then xiaojun
bella whimpers in your lap like she's sentenced the shift, she hops out and stretches before finding a corner somewhere else - you wish you could find a corner somewhere too.
xiaojun's face is unreadable, you haven't touched any alcohol all night but your vision feels fuzzy
"no. we're just super close friends."
the smile on hendery's face falls and the crescendo of your heartbreaking thumps through your ears so much that it physically hurts
someone coughs and clears their throat
you don't even register what you're doing as you're doing it, don't hear xiaojun say your name or the hard thwack of kun's hand on the back of xiaojun's shoulder
"are you insane, why would you say that when you don't mean it?"
the question floats from someone's mouth and it's not yours and you don't stick around to hear xiaojun's answer
you only navigate yourself up to your feet and out of that apartment because your body puts autopilot into flight mode
you're maybe two blocks down the street when something warm wraps its arms around you
you don't move - your eyes are fixated on the asphalt
"im so stupid, im sorry."
xiaojun's voice breaks in a way you've never heard before
"you're not stupid for not liking me back."
your voice sounds flat in a way you've never heard before too
the arms around you drop and you start to move forward again, still wanting to get away from him and everyone else
"no. i mean im stupid for lying."
you stop
"i thought you didn't want me to be interested in you like that and then kun said that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard because you obviously-"
xiaojun can't say the rest of the sentence because he's waiting for you to confirm
kun is always right about so many things, when he'd said xiaojun is like a cat, you get this is what he meant
"that i obviously am in love with you?"
you hear the sigh escape from xiaojun before you turn full around
when you do xiaojun nods, opens his arms again and you have never felt more fit for a place than when you tuck yourself into his chest and he buries his nose into your hair
"you're so bad at truth or dare"
you muffle into his shirt and he laughs, squeezing you closer
you don't mind the way you stick to each other under the glaring heat of the last summer month's hold
of course you come back to the apartment and everyone looks like they've just been saved from drowning in the titanic
the birthday party goes to a congrats-on-finally-confessing-your-feelings-you-two-idiots party
and for all the time you two spent apart that evening, you're now glued to xiaojun's side and it finally is in a way that lets your fingers brush and hold onto each other
in a way that lets him turn his head to kiss your temple when he's had enough of the conversation or argument his other roommates are in
you refuse to let him clean when the party is over - he is the birthday boy - but he does it anyway
you get some alone time on the balcony again and you kiss some more, all shy and new and tender
but xiaojun's hand finds your hip and you stammer against his mouth
you want to stay over but literally everyone is home so you peck xiaojun on the lips and he mutters we could just cuddle instead when you say goodbye at the door
the rest of august is sweeter than summer ice cream
you and xiaojun go on dates, which xiaojun is actually good at planning because he just knows you so well and he knows you are not the type of person who wants to go to fancy, uptight restaurant or even entertains the idea of seeing sappy romance movies in theaters
he knows what to order for you two before you even come over
you know what he needs when he just offhandedly mentions that he needs to get some stuff from the store
and it's like you two are connected by something more than just a physical need for the other, it's like your souls have been intertwined and your minds too
you do finally get to come over when the rest of the members are out practicing or hanging out with other people
and you check the door to the room is locked about six times before xiaojun has to rope you into his arms with his pretty lips
before scuttling out from under the covers to check the lock himself too
it makes you laugh, he laughs too, you two kiss and you think you can only remember xiaojun's taste for hours after
no one, not even strangers, seem surprised by you being together as they learn it
an older woman at the beach says you and him just look like puzzle pieces that have found each other, she says she sees happiness in your futures
and it is all happiness - from that birthday to this one - almost ten years later
xiaojun knows you're planning a party, you always do like it's a tradition, so you can't call it a surprise anymore
but he promises to act shocked when he comes through the door anyway
"is this shocked face good enough?"
he asks, putting his hands on his cheeks and opening his mouth
age has treated him so well, he's still got the absolute best cheekbones you've ever seen in your life
you giggle and clamber over onto the sofa where he is
"no, no - more oomf!"
he tries again and then reaches out to pull you into him, you kiss his nose and he scrunches it up
"how about i just jump up and go 'no way!' or something?"
"xiaojun you're not twenty anymore."
he pouts, "fine. ill think of something."
"by the way what do you want as a present?"
you look into his eyes and the browns soften as they reflect the image of you, the person he's sworn to love for the rest of his life
he shrugs - says he got the best present of all time already
"you said that last ye-"
"and it's true, you're the only thing ive ever wanted so badly i was just too dumb of a guy to ask for it."
your hands are warm on his chest
"that's ok, you still got it in the end."
297 notes · View notes
warmau · 3 years
Text
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au jeno another late, sappy birthday gift for mr. lee jeno. i promised to finish the ot21s so....... find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten | jisung | renjun tw: mention of ankle injury
summer is supposed to be a time of happiness, of adventure and goofing around under the constant sunlight
and so when you start summer, you are all smiles and big dreams! unfiltered energy to do whatever you want!
and whatever you want is definitely
NOT spending even a day (actually three) in the hospital after you end up falling off your bike and breaking your ankle like the absolute unlucky person that you are
"that is so gnarly dude, my condolences"
chenle mutters, skateboard under hand and shaking his head
jisung nods in agreement beside him - still wearing his helmet even after your nurse gives him a look about it
"hey, at least you're getting all this free candy?"
jaemin motions, picking up a 'get better soon' box filled with chocolates from your uncle
he pops one in his mouth and haechan swats his hand away before he can steal any more
mark sighs and gives you a sad smile, renjun puts the flowers they all bought together in a vase by your bed
it's all a little too much - and you tell them it's fine, it's just an ankle and you'll be out of here in no time
they all agree, except for jeno who is sitting at the foot of your bed with his volleyball uniform still on and his duffel bag between his legs on the floor
you keep throwing glances his way because you have never seen jeno so quiet in your life
mark - who is the brains of your friend group (oddly enough) - catches the looks of worry
so he does what any good friend would do, he tells all the remaining members he saw a machine with snacks out in the hall and they all excuse themselves with 'see you soon!'s' out of your hospital room
jeno doesn't move a muscle
"how was practice? jaemin looks happy so im guessing you guys are going to be in great shape when school starts again?"
there isn't any response and jeno is almost hidden with the way his head is hanging low and his hands are clasped on his knees
"jeno-"
"it's my fault you're in here."
you puff your cheeks and cross your legs
"oh please! it's my own fault! is that why you're acting all sad?"
he doesn't answer and the lack of communication is making you nervous more than it is making you angry
jeno and you are close, to the point of knowing each other's parents by their first names and who your first kisses were back in middle school
he has never been one to lack the words for a conversation - at least not with you
you wish you could scoot closer and pinch his cheek or poke his forehead
but your cast is restricting movement and these days touching jeno feels......different
"i should have stopped you before you went down that hill, i was there and i couldn't save you-"
"jeno, im not made of glass and plus im not even that hurt!"
he finally shifts so he can look at your leg, propped up on the pillow and covered in its cast that has been brightly decorated with signatures and doodles
the way his gaze travels up your hospital gown and to you, you know he isn't registering anything you're saying
you sit up a little and hide the wince behind another set of promises to jeno that you are ok and you don't need him to blame himself when he has so much more going on on his plate
"you and jaemin are going to graduate after the upcoming semester and that means it's your last year with the volleyball team. you should focus on practice and being the best you can be - when i can get myself up on those crutches ill come visit to see how you guys are doing!"
he seems to soften, the sharp angles of his face that have just gotten more handsome as he ages still somehow manage to look sweet and youthful
he picks his duffel bag up off the floor and leans toward you like he's going to push some hair from your face or kiss your forehead
he's done both before - but this is the first time the gesture has made the blood in your veins stop and something imaginary clog in the back of your throat
instead of doing either jeno seems to buffer as he hovers above you, reaching out to fluff the edge of your pillow
"ok, but also you have to be serious about your recovery."
he pulls back and the same concern as before washes over him, his vocal tone lowers
"don't go doing anything dangerous."
you point to your cast with a half-smile
"i don't think that's going to be possible."
you get discharged from the hospital the next day, not that it brightens your summer any further, you basically just end up trading the hospital bed for the four walls of your own room
the group chat explodes with more well wishes
but you change the subject, all the pity makes you cringe
'how was volleyball practice?'
several people start typing - except for jeno
jaemin's reply comes first, 'it was good!'
followed by jisung's, 'but.....jeno didn't show up...'
renjun adds 'he said he wasn't feeling well - don't worry!'
you furrow your eyebrows
'has anyone visited him? does he need medicine?'
haechan texts something before anyone can really stop him, 'im pretty sure he's just being sad - if he had the stomach flu we all be sick. we eat together everyday.'
'haechan!' mark replies as jaemin sends a shaking his head emoji
'wait. jeno is sad?'
it goes silent and then suddenly jeno is typing
'im not sad, im fine. ill be at practice tomorrow.'
you let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding in
it's only natural that you, as jeno's friend, would be worried about him. at least, that's what you tell yourself.
to be honest - now that you're not out enjoying summer - you're more than ever stuck with your own thoughts and the most recent string of them is: what changed between you and jeno?
for years it had been easy going fun, the simple enjoyment of each others company
but ever since it started getting warm enough for t-shirts - there has been a shift in the central point of you and jeno's friendship
you are suddenly hyper-aware of how strong the outline of his arms looks.
you notice when he wears different cologne.
you see the way other people turn their heads to look at him when he walks by, the way they pick up on the handsome features that make up your best friend
and you can't help but feel something cruel and cold fester in the pit of your stomach when you think jeno might one day look back at that stranger ..... and notice their features too
you sit up, which is a mistake because you shift your foot and it makes you yelp, but you look at your phone again
the gc has moved onto topics of video games so you message jeno outside of it
'hey, if something is wrong you can tell me'
he reads the message and doesn't reply. you tell yourself that's totally fine.
a couple of weeks pass before anyone lets you limp out of the house by yourself
you've mastered crutches and when you really need something, one of your friends delivers it
although recently, it seems to be everyone but jeno
everything otherwise seems normal
no one really talks about volleyball - which is fine, you just assume they're busy practicing
and so you hobble down to the school gym that's still open for the student-athletes during the break and are secretly happy to bump into mark who helps you with the stairs
"by the way, don't be upset with him ok."
mark says before you enter the gym - you look at him with a raised eyebrow
"upset with who?"
mark swallows - just tilts his head and when you go inside you look everywhere, you see everyone, but you don't see jeno
"im guessing he isn't in the locker rooms?"
you ask mark with a deflated tone of voice, mark shakes his head
"he hasn't been to practice at all."
you can understand why no one had told you.
like mark said, they knew you'd get on his case about it - which is what you plan on doing when you end up on his front porch
jeno comes down with messy hair and basketball shorts on. he's not wearing a shirt and immediately you think you lose the ability to speak
"you shouldn't be walking around just yet."
he says and you frown
"it's been a while now, plus im not here about me. im here to ask what you think you're doing."
jeno crosses his arms and you hate the involuntary flex of his muscles.
actually, you don't hate it, you hate that you stare when you don't mean to.
he ushers you into the backyard and motions for you to sit on one of the patio chairs
he's still being the same thoughtful guy you grew up with but you're beyond confused
"are you quitting volleyball - why aren't you going to practice?"
"im not quitting. i just don't feel like it - i don't feel like doing anything."
you reach out with one of your crutches to poke him, he makes a face
"im the one with a broken ankle - im the one who gets to be depressed. c'mon, tell me what's really wrong."
jeno falls silent, you notice that he hasn't completely shaved and there's a bit of a shadow on his jawline
you swallow the sudden dryness in your throat
this is your best friend since you were kids. you are literally not going to think anything but pure thoughts from now on. ok. stop. don't you dare.
"that's the thing. you have a broken ankle, you can't even go to the beach and im supposed to do what - enjoy the summer without my best friend?"
he throws his hands up and you see an expression you barely ever get from jeno form on his face
"i could have stopped you from being reckless, i could have made sure you weren't in that stupid cast and that you could-"
"jeno!"
you cut him off and he looks at you, the momentary distraction of your newfound attraction to him dissipates as you grind your teeth
"i told you that it's no way your fault i got hurt - plus it's not like you personally broke my ankle and im not suffering torturous pain. things happen like this in life - don't beat yourself up about it!"
you wish you could get up to make your point, but the best you manage is a shaky lift grabbing onto your chair
jeno gets up to help you but you shoo him away
"it hurts me more to see you moping around on my behalf! did you think about that, how it would make me feel to hear that my injury is making you slack on the things you like?!"
he blinks and you suddenly feel a rush of different things
one is that you hate how he seems to be so full of pity for you, another is that you hate how he's kind of right about this summer being pointless now that you can barely move, but the last is that because of all these things happening you can't even properly wrap your head around the fact that you think you like him
and not in the platonic way you'd been beating on liking him your whole life
so to add this to the pile - you take your crutches and give him a stern look
"just start going to practice. i told you when i was in the hospital, i'll always come to cheer you on when i can. that doesn't change for me, broken ankle or not because you're my best friend and i want to see you succeed."
and i love you
you don't say the last part, you bite your lip back and although you can't storm off in your usual fiery passion, you make it out of his backyard and let a heaviness fall off your chest as you somehow manage to get back home
the sound of messages incoming on your phone are drowned away by your tiredness
i just want to be a source of happiness for you, i never wanted to be your burden jeno.
the next day there's a knock on your bedroom door - you tell them to come in and go wide-eyed when you see jeno there
he's in his volleyball uniform and he's holding something in his hands
"jen-"
"im sorry. you were right, i can't use you as an excuse to be lazy anymore. i brought these."
he hands you the tupperware of cookies and you are about to ask him if he made these when jeno's familiar, warm laughter fills your room
"i didn't make them, they're chipsahoy but i thought the gesture could count."
you look down at them - he's so silly.
you look back up at jeno's smile - i really love him.
"good. now go have fun at practice, ill visit you guys later in the week."
he comes closer to you and suddenly the air in the room stills, he leans over and you think you can feel the temperature of your skin rise to an unsafe level when he hooks his pinkie with yours
"promise?"
you nod and he disappears with a wave. you sit in your bed and hold the cookies.
maybe breaking my ankle and not spending every minute around him might actually have been a good thing.
as you promised, you show up to practice at the end of the week.
jeno is there and he lights up when he sees you, helps you with your crutches and everyone gathers around to tell you how thankful they are that you went and got jeno to comeback
jisung randomly sputters a, "the only person who can control him is you. it's like he's your boyfriend."
mark catches the look on your face before jeno does and flicks jisung on the head, "what do you know about dating - c'mon lets go get water for everyone."
the comment swims around your head for the entire time you're there - and you don't know it, but it swims around jeno's as well
when practice is over, jaemin offers to drive everyone home - no one agrees because they're probably terrified of his driving
and jeno says he'll be the one to walk you home
it's nothing unusual, you've been with jeno throughout your whole childhood, but there seems to be a weird pause among your group when he announces it
when you and him set off toward your house, mark does something weird - he winks at you and you take a second before
oh - he knows i like jeno doesn't he?
you can only go at the of the equivalent of snail's pace, and jeno matches it without complaint
you don't say anything and it makes it that much harder to distract the chanting about how good he looks and how you can't believe you're that person who fell in love with their best friend and how this summer is so confusing its almost vomit-inducing and-
"hey, would it be weird if i liked you?"
it feels like the earth itself has been dropped from the shoulders of atlas, you think suddenly all the gravity has gone and disappeared
you stop and look at jeno who sets his bag down on the asphalt
the boy you met when you were young is suddenly not a boy anymore, his shadow is tall and mature against the setting summer sun
"liked me?"
he scratches the back of his neck and then nods
"i had said i can't use your injury as my excuse to be lazy. i actually wasn't being lazy, i was just going through a hard time because i thought i had hurt the person most important to me in the world."
your heart thumps against your chest so hard it kind of hurts
"me?"
"yeah, and i realized your friend can be the most important person in the world - but i think it's different the way i feel about now......i like you."
"i love you."
you blurt it out before you can even really stop yourself, jeno looks shocked for about a second before it breaks into a big smile on his face
the one you haven't seen in what seems like forever, the one that feels genuine and right
"oh cool, i actually love you too - i just didn't know if i should say it-"
"can you come over here and kiss me, these crutches are kind of making it hard for me."
no one is surprised when you and jeno announce in the gc that you're going on your first date
mark tries to act it, but literally everyone is like finally - you do ask mark if he knew all along about how you felt and he goes i knew how you felt and how jeno felt. you two are open books.
the date isn't as thrilling as you both might have wanted, the broken ankle is still kind of getting in the way, so jeno takes you out to the lake and does all the rowing himself
you offer, since it's your hands, but he insists he can do it himself and he does. seriously, he's way stronger than you remember him being a year ago.
you guys eat on the grass when you get back and he effortlessly picks you back up onto your feet, you swoon everytime but try not to show it
and when jeno drops you off - he kisses you again, and this time he doesn't have to have you tell him to - he picks the perfect moment
being his best friend and dating him doesn't change too much, it's just you're now holding hands everytime you hangout and you're kissing in the back of jaemin's car much to his disappointment and well
it's just made everything easier - you're not wrapped in your head about what's different, because nothing is, you just are honest with how you both feel
jeno and jaemin even get visited by scouts for volleyball and when jeno tells you about it you try to jump up to hug him and he's like bABE CAST but too late you're like OW and he's like oh god oh god let me hold you
you're like jeno let's learn to bake cookies for real so we don't have to buy chipsahoy to give each other and he's down for it but then you both almost set the kitchen on fire and call renjun like ten times to ask about the recipe and basically you are both banned from baking again
your cast gets filled in with hearts from jeno...you let him lay his head on you when he's playing games on his phone and you're like watching him play and when you get bored you're like let's kiss instead
jeno leaves all his hoodies 'accidentally' over at your house because he knows you like wearing them but won't admit it outloud
the summer continues on until suddenly it's colder outside and the reality of school coming back dawns on everyone
and also, you get the date for when your cast will be removed
jeno asks if you're going to keep it once it gets cracked - you say you might, you woulnd't want to lose all those cute hearts he scribbled on them and he just smiles and kisses your forehead
"i'd scribble all the hearts everywhere for you."
"that's cute, we should save that for when we get married."
and you do save it for then - years later when you're showing jeno the design on your invitations
beside both your names is a cluster of different hearts, all doodled by jeno himself
"how'd you get these?"
"kept a part of my broken cast."
he stares at you with wide eyes
"im joking, i got them off a napkin you doodled on when we were at dinner."
jeno pokes his tongue out at you and you giggle as he wraps his arms around your waist as to not let you get away
the softness of your love and silliness of your friendship is still there
it'll always be there - through all the broken ankles, casts, and doodled hearts to come.
347 notes · View notes
warmau · 3 years
Text
☆ hogwarts!au x minghao minghao wants to draw a thestral, but he can't see them. [yes this is an hp au, but we ignore you know who <3]
when you see a box of chocolate wands levitating toward you from the other side of the quad you shut your book and get up before they can reach you
stubbornly, the sender of the chocolates follows you down into the castle
"hoshi - tell minghao im not-"
you turn around, ready to be faced with the big smile of the gryffindor troublemaker but instead, you see hufflepuff's own xu minghao
"oh - i thought the floating chocolate would be more of a hoshi thing than you."
turning on your heel, you nearly get away before minghao's hand touches your shoulder
"sorry for sending him after you before, but are you really so against it?"
something softens when you hear the genuine question in his voice.
you know out of all the students in your year, minghao is considered the most formidable artist of them all
aside from magic - there's a whole list of things he's good at - and the muggle hobby of drawing is one of them
although wizards have figured out ways to cast the likeness of something or someone onto parchment hundreds of years ago, minghao is traditional
you can tell because he keeps a sketchbook (non-magical) under his arm at all times - you're sure it's more important to him than his own wand
but still - his request is just a bit much this time
"im sorry, i can't. maybe someone else can help you."
with that you gently shrug his hold off of you and hurry toward the classrooms
you don't look back - but minghao watches you disappear in the flurry of students
"i don't understand why you keep saying no!"
your friend lays themselves dramatically over your bed and puts a hand over their heart
"it's xu minghao - he's the most eligible boy in hufflepuff!"
you pet the top of your owls head as you sit in the window of your dorm and frown
"you said that last week, but it was about seokmin."
they pretend they don't hear you and continue
"what is he even asking you to do? pose for him? model for him? be pretty in front of him?"
you shake your head and get up, shrugging a light jacket over your shoulders and telling your friend you're going to head out
"meeting up with minghao?!"
they call back and you shut the door with a flick of your wand
the forest outside of hogwarts is usually quiet, students don't like going there unless it's for a class, but you've gotten comfortable enough to know your way around
you especially know where to go to find thestrals - the small herd that hogwarts uses to pull the carriages all gather in a place off the path and you've been visiting it for almost all the years you've been attending
you never get too close - thestrals can be rather sensitive, and plus, the benefit of being able to actually see them is something you don't want to lose if they actively start trying to hide
you find the familiar tree stump you climb ontop of and-
"oh."
your head turns in the direction of someones voice and you see minghao standing a couple of feet away
"what are you doing here?"
you ask, bewildered - both by the fact that he's in the woods by himself and that he somehow managed to find this place in particular
"i thought this might be where the thestral herd is. i can't see them, but this place has a certain feeling."
"well...i can't say you're wrong.."
you look over his shoulder where some of the thestrals have lifted their heads to keep an eye on your conversation
minghao follows your gaze and goes, "they're behind me aren't they?"
"yes. don't make any sudden movements - they don't like that."
he nods, making his way down onto the grass.
he opens his sketchbook and you can't help but step closer to him
"are you going to draw?"
"yep, im going to draw them - or at least what i think they look like."
you shift from one foot to another
this is what minghao has been trying to get you to do for weeks, describe a thestral to him
apparently, he hasn't gone through the events one has to go through in order to clearly see them
you on the other hand have, and the only reason people know about it is because your trauma was a publically talked about event
part of you wants to know if minghao has something similar but unlike you - hasn't come to accept it yet
you look at his side profile, all perfect sharp angles, his bone structure is striking and you understand the hype he gets around school
his long fingers hold the pencil delicately, he draws a line and then looks up to meet your stare
"they look like horses right?"
you have to bring yourself out of his beauty and back into reality - embarrassing enough of a task that you just kind of nod
"well, yes but they're very different."
"how so?"
you sink to your knees beside him, you look out at the creatures who have returned to their business after sensing neither you or minghao are a threat
"they're skeletal - people say they're scary once you are able to see them for the first time but it's not that, they're just otherworldly - transparent almost."
you put your hands around your knees
"their wings are big, like a dragon - but thinner, they kind of look like the skin between webbing......the bones are long and silver."
before you realize it, you're going into more detail than you had wanted to
"if i had to describe them as a color though, it's like looking at moonlight as an animal."
you had been denying minghao's request for you to tell him about them but now it just pours out
at first, you had thought talking about them would push to surface memories you didn't want to look back on
but instead - it's almost cathartic - to sit beside someone and share an experience like this with them
when you turn to tell minghao one more thing, you see that he hasn't picked up his pencil again
instead his sketchbook is laying on the grass in front of you two and he's looking at you
"minghao?"
"it's hard to draw when you talk about them so beautifully."
you bite back your lip
"well they are beautiful."
"that's why i asked you by the way-"
he clears his throat and his voice drops
"i never meant it to be annoying, or to make you think about things you didn't want to think about again. i just always thought that you would be the best person to describe them the way they really look."
you nod and something makes you reach out for his sketchbook
"i wish i could draw them for you - but i really don't have any talent."
you touch the paper and then feel something soft against your ear
you look and minghao is reaching out to pick a stray leaf from your hair
his touch is gentle and the woods are still all around you - just the softness of the moment
he lets it blow off into the wind and you watch it make a path up and back toward the tree
minghao doesn't take his eyes off of you
"i think you have other talents."
he finally starts and then his hand drops back to his side
"and i think one of them is making me want to be around you."
you freeze because the words are unexpected and raw, you try to find a logical response to it but you can only muster a small
"what do you mean?"
he leans back and looks out in front of him - he sees an empty pasture of grass
"i don't really know, i just see you and something pulls me toward you. something i can't see, just like a thestral. i know it sounds weird but if magic is real than i think love isn't too farfetched of a concept either."
"l-love?"
you suddenly feel hot in your jacket, minghao shifts slightly
"i don't know if that's what it is but i just - i haven't felt more at ease than right now. right now - sitting beside you."
you look out in front of you - you see the thestrals in the pasture of grass
"i feel at ease too...."
his hand slips closer and then his pinkie is ontop of yours
the trees and the sky all hold their breaths
"then maybe we can just stay here for a while?"
his pinkie hooks with yours, and then his entire palm slides into yours
you lay back against the grass and minghao lines up perfectly beside you - now you're both looking up at the open blue sky
something stirs inside you, something you haven't felt before - if you could see it, it might be a glowing pinkness around your chest. minghao would have it too.
but you enjoy the silence and then see something hover above you, the chocolate wands from earlier
this time you smile, reaching out for them. minghao squeezes your hand.
a thestral comes closer to sniff at your hair, minghao asks if one is nearby and you say yes but it's ok
they seem to like him and you
338 notes · View notes