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#techno x reader
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philza: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
tommy: Several traffic violations.
techno: Three counts of resisting arrest.
wilbur: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
y/n: Also, that’s not our car.
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squishycheekanon · 2 months
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I have a request: how would the Techno react if Reader dies but appears a few months later alive but very injured?
Now this inspired me.
Warnings: 18+, angst, suicide mentioned, hints at nsfw, blood, alternate timeline where she was never pregnant; adding Athena and Apollo into this would have made me cry so no. 
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Techno was distraught, it was against his nature to love and be loved and yet you taught him how. You were his everything and more. From the moment you shot him in those woods all that time ago, when the voices went quiet when your face came into his eyesight, everything changed for him.
He loved you more than life itself, so when Phil broke the news to him that you were dead, he lost it. Standing in the living room of the home you had shared together, rage burned through him, his shaking hands ripping, shoving, destroying. By the time he was done, Phil had witnessed something he thought he’d never see.
Techno was weeping, sobbing, screaming for you. A broken man wanting the only thing he couldn’t have. For months Techno barely ate, barely slept, contemplated suicide daily. How could he live without you? Why would he even want to? Without you there was no meaning to his life. It was like a huge hole had been punched through his chest.
The absence of you was everywhere he looked, the little touches you had slowly added to the house over the years. Your perfume, oils and lotions on the white vanity in the corner of the room. Techno remembers vividly, when you had talked about wanting one and he worked for weeks to build and paint one you’d love. He sat for hours carving intricate designs onto the legs and around the mirror just for you.
The wardrobe filled with your clothes, the beautiful materials you covered your body with, he was always envious of them, they got to touch you all the time. Dresses hanging there that hugged your figure perfectly, that made his heart beat faster.
The bathroom filled with your sweet bath oils and bath salts, countless times he had come home from fighting and you drawn him a bath and washed him clean. Countless times had he taken you apart in the sweet smelling waters and steamy room.
The bed was the hardest to deal with, it reeked of you. The mouthwatering smell he wanted nothing more than to roll around in, it was always present when he slept. It was a slight comfort to him, but always left him distraught. He thought about sleeping downstairs but had to remind himself that he had destroyed the couch.
More time passed, around six months now since Phil had told him about your death. He was a hollow shell of himself, he had lost a lot of weight and always had dark bags under his eyes. He was surprised he was still breathing.
“Techno!” Phil had screamed, a dreaded, fear filled, confusion dripping scream. Techno sighed, it took so much energy out of him to simply stand. Feet practically dragging along the floor, he shuffled to the front door sparing a longing look to his axe of peace. Whatever was on the other side of his door was dangerous if Phil’s scream was anything to go by, and he was happy to let whatever it was kill him.
Opening the door and stepping out onto the wood panels just before the stairs that led down to the snow, red cloak and gold crown nowhere in sight, The Blood God isn’t who stepped out to fight, but a broken man ready to die.
That all changed the second he saw you. You who had been dead for six months, you who he had mourned for six months, you who was bruised and covered in cuts with blood dripping from them. You who looked just as starved and exhausted as Techno did, in fact you looked worse.
“Sweetheart?” Techno’s voice cracked as he uttered the term of endearment he hadn’t spoken in so long.
“Tec.” Your voice was small and fragile, your hand reaching for him. The clothes you wore were torn and certainly not enough to keep you warm in the freezing cold snow you had trekked in to get home.
He ran to you, feet moving quicker than they ever had before all so he could take you in his arms and hold you close. “I’ve got you darlin’, I’ve got you, hold on to me.” He used all his strength to help you into the house, Phil running to your aid too.
You took in the state of your home and honestly it was alot better than what you had expected. Glancing at your husband, he avoided eye contact sheepishly, normally it would have made you smile. You don’t even think you know how to do that anymore.
“Let’s uh, get you upstairs.” Phil said awkwardly, helping Techno carry you up into your bedroom, and onto the bed. You sighed in pure relief that you body didn’t have to hold itself up anymore, that you weren’t on a nasty cold stone floor too but the soft, Techno smelling, mattress you had been dreaming of for six months.
You were so happy you cried. You cried ugly, hard, loud. Letting all your emotions out. Techno was there stroking your filthy, greasy hair and holding your dirty, sore hand. “Sweetheart?”
“I’m just so happy, I thought this day would never come. I had convinced myself that it wouldn’t. And yet here I am. Home.” You sobbed out the words, looking at your husband through your tears blurred eyes, just about making out the crooked smile on his gorgeous face.
He wanted to ask what had happened, wanted to know who had done this to you. But just seeing your relief to being in a bed, to being home, he knew you’d need time.
Phil went home after Techno had asked him to, they agreed not to tell anyone you were back until they figured out what had happened to you and by who.
Techno ran you a bath and took extra time and care into washing you off, he had to pull you out of the disgustingly mucky water and run you a new bath. This one you could soak in, allow yourself to relax, even when the clear water did dirty again, only a little this time though.
You saw the look in Techno’s eyes as he washed you and you knew, remembering the vow he made to you all those years ago; “I love you, it took me a while to say it I know. But I need to know you understand—“
“Understand?” You asked.
“How much I love you. I’d destroy empires for you. Pillage country’s for you. Kill for you.” He pressed his forehead to yours. “If anyone ever even thought about hurting you, they’d be dead before they could finish that thought.” He growled, deep from within his chest. The ruby of his eyes shining brighter the more he talked about it.
“I understand.” Of course you did. You knew from the moment you said ‘I do’ exactly what that meant.
“You’re going to kill him aren’t you?” It was a question you knew the answer to but you still felt compelled to ask nonetheless.
“Yes.”
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faye-writes-stuff · 1 year
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welp here we go again
INCORRECT QUOTES TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Y/n: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Dream: Wednesay Y/n: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
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Y/n: Dream, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power! Dream: Well of course I have. Dream: Have you ever tried going mad without power? Dream: It's boring.
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Y/n: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Ranboo: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Y/n: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.
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Y/n: Ranboo... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Ranboo: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Y/n: Y/n: I wrote sanitize, Ranboo
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Y/n: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail Sapnap: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
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Y/n: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Sapnap: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak
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George: Welcome, fellow idiots Y/n: Hello, George George: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot Y/n: You underestimate me
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George: *Gets down on one knee* Y/n: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. George: *Falls over* Y/n: The poison is kicking in.
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Tommy: Change is inedible. Y/n: Don't you mean inevitable? Tommy, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
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Tommy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Y/n's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get them out...
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Tubbo: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Y/n: Oh, I’m always running Y/n: The question is from what
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Tubbo: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are. Y/n: It’s not a joke. Y/n: *sniffles* Y/n: I’m a legit snack.
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Foolish: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Y/n: What did you do op? Foolish: A MISTAKE
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Y/n: Foolish... Foolish: Oh no, 'Foolish' in b-flat. Foolish: You're disappointed.
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Technoblade: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Y/n: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Technoblade, desperately, as Y/n bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n: Oh! B positive. Technoblade: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Y/n:
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Technoblade, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. Y/n: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Technoblade, with the tone of someone who is used to Y/n: Outstanding. Technoblade: This is what I’m talking about people.
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Technoblade: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Technoblade: Absolutely not.
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i accidentally hit post on this too early so if you saw this b4 it was finished- no you didn't
ANYWAYS enjoy, because the last one got over 300 likes so
ic master list :)
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hatchetislostpog · 2 years
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Techno: *Loses Y/n in crowd* Hey Will, I can't find Y/n anywhere
Wilbur: Alrighty then *Cups mouth* Y/N SUCKS
...nothing happens
Wilbur: Ok... Then, TECHNO SUCKS
Y/n: *Pushes way through crowd* THE FUCK YOU SAY ABOUT TECHNO
Wilbur: Found them
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maxismp1 · 2 years
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U wraped in his cape
First of all Technoblade has his cape 24/7 365 days a year
And its normal for it to smell like him
But he often has to go, being called my his comrads or just doing his jobs
You get lonly af, and only thing you have is Steve
So when he finaly comes home to rest, he give you his cape for you to fix it and wash it
It's not often for him to wake up and not find you by his side
But at the other hand, when you do wake up before him you just start your day
"Y/n?"
He calls for you, but no answer. He went in to a small panic.
"Y/n?"
He calls once again while getting out of your shared bed. Slowly stumbling down the leaders.
"Y/n?"
Techno was now in full panic. Going to reach for his cape on the small stand, so he could search for you outside, but it wasn't there. He didn't care enogh about right now, he cared that you are safe
Reaching for his sord on the other side of the small stand, and quickly going outside. Only to find you wraped in his red cape.
"It smells like you"
You said simply
"I smell like me too, now go back to bed"
And with that he scooped his ball of live and went back upstairs to your shared bedroom
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not-idia-shroud · 2 years
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Yn: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Tecnoblade: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Yn: God?!
—————-
Technoblade: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts.
Yn: Hey, Techno.
Technoblade: GODDAMNIT!
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Technoblade: Hey there demons, It's me, ya boi.
Yn: Technoblade, NO!
—————
Technoblade: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Yn: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.
—————
Technoblade never dies. He is only in his retirement era dont worry guys. Or pvping god? Who knows man. He is on his divine world domination era or smth? No one knows. But he was a blessing to have.
This would be my last technoblade quotes, or not, it depends on how much i miss him everyday.
Again, technoblade never dies.
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ceramicoranges · 5 months
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red eyed crows
in which tommy reunites with his old friend, that may just save him
y/n has she/her pronouns lowercase intentional :)
“tommy, you thought you were so smart, hm,” dream smiled manically down at tommy. "you thought you could escape me, and take the disks, right," he swung his sword. “hate to break it to you, but you’re gonna die now, bitch.” 
tommy had been soo close, but all because of that stupid berry bush, that made him trip, made him slip up. he was so close to his disks, his disks, had his disks, dream ha-”
“wrong place for this shit, dream.” a cold voice interrupted. “although… i do need those lives.” the woman grinned wickedly, before adding on, “but not infront of my castle, bitch.”
“yea dream, fuck off.” 
“you heard the kid.” she shrugged. the woman scraped her axe along the stone bricks and hefted it onto her shoulders.
“i- uh, what?” dream gaped. 
tommy did too. he imagines he looks like a better goldfish, better at gaping, because he's big man tommyinni-
“fuck off.” 
dream saluted.
“til we meet again then, princess.” 
and off dream scampered.
tommy liked to pretend dream didn't fall backwards off the cliff face, and especially that he didn't wink at the woman because that wouldn't be poggers, but tommy did like to imagine that dream didn't water bucket mlg and he imagined that dream's death message appeared in the air.
tommy snickered to himself. oh shit. the poggest woman ever that saved his ass was staring at him. 
“ok, so uh, um-”
“long time no see, tomathy.” she smiled softly.
“YOU, YOU KNOW...ME? and,” tommy puffed up his chest. “it is actually big man tommy-”
“yea, of course. do you remember me?”
tommy faltered. he, totally remembered her, he wasn't aging! unlike wilbur-
“no?”
“oh. it's y/n.”
authors note:
first time asudh,ksjd might continue (maybe? part one of my technoblade x reader series)
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Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (19)
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(c!technoblade x fem!reader) (?who knows at this point..)
(*SCREAMING UNTIL MY VOICE IS GONE* hahahaha i'm finally done with this devil forsaken chapter! I literally cannot articulate HOW hard this chapter was, for who knows what reason! I don't know why but this chapter was a struggle. like some trial a fucking greek god would give me to make me stronger or whatever. but.. I did it finally. PLEASE reblog and comment so I can feel like the pain I went through was worth it y'all 😭🥺👉👈)
—————
Bored.
That’s been his general state of things for about.. I don’t know, maybe 5 months? At least since he’d finished taking part in that last pvp tournament on the championship battle server. But the battle season has finished and he’s not found anything new to hold his attention. 
And Phil was busy working on a new build that's taken up his attention. And Techno would help but he knows Phil wants to do it himself, the man is so picky about his builds so Techno just leaves him be. Usually by now someone would have got in contact to hire him for his war faring services. Some kingdom or warring faction, looking for someone well versed in battle and strategy to help them turn the tides. But-
A yellow feather fluttering into his field of vision followed by the sound of flapping wings made the red eyed hybrid look up to see an incoming parrot holding a rolled up letter tied to its leg.
“Well, speak of the devil or whatever,” Techno said in his usual monotone drawl as the parrot landed on his shoulder.
It held its leg out and he took the offered scroll before reaching into his inventory to grab some seeds to feed it. Then once it was happily munching away he unrolled the letter, wondering which server it could be from. Probably some new upstart one inhabited by a bunch of idiots with conflicting opinions who don’t realize they can just go separate directions and end it. That was usually how it went. People were all the same. They find out their opinions don’t match up, they bicker over it, they fight, someone invariably gets killed, they wage war, and then rinse and repeat. 
But as he read the letter he realized it wasn’t from just anybody. It was from Wilbur, Philza’s kid. Jeez, he hasn’t seen him in what feels like one hundred years. 
Huh, when was the last time he’d seen the bespectacled boy? He actually can’t recall. He thinks back, far back, scouring his memory for instances with Wilbur. He remembers his round glasses, his warm yellow sweater, and his love for anything music. Techno recalls how Wilbur had always detested battle, fighting, anything like that. Hell, he hadn’t even liked wearing armor, even when it was for his own good. Which Techno thought was both foolish and endearing. He himself was always suited to battle, falling into it like how a bird takes to the skies. But he’d always seen Wilbur as so far removed from being suitable for violence. 
All the younger man had ever said he wanted to do was sing, play music, and write. He truly had the heart of a poet, that was for sure. Getting him to learn some basic defense so he could travel to the nearby villages on his own without being a sitting duck had been similar to pulling teeth for Philza, his son always treating the lessons like a chore. But he and Phil had managed to teach him enough self defense so he could be safe out on his own, at least from the mobs. And once that was handled then Philza didn’t feel so worried leaving his boy home alone, meaning he and Techno could go traveling again.
And Wilbur hadn’t been bothered by this either, seeming to enjoy having some time to himself when his father and Techno were out. They always came home to Wilbur playing his guitar either outside in the yard, enjoying the sun, or inside by the fire to stay cozy. He’d been perfectly content. 
And then one day they came home and Wilbur hadn’t been alone like he’d always been before. He’d had some kid with him, a little boy who actually bore a strong resemblance to Philza, what with his blond hair and blue eyes. That had been more than a shock, he’ll admit. Walking in and seeing Wilbur with some random kid they’d never seen before, just sitting on the floor in front of the couch like it was no big deal.
Yeah, that had been Tommy, and according to Wilbur he’d found him eating out of the trash in the village so he’d brought him home. Of course. When Philza asked where Tommy’s parents were, the kid had wrinkled his nose and said they were probably at home. That had turned into them grilling the kid, trying to figure out where their house was so Wilbur could return him. 
But Tommy had kicked up a huge fuss, shouting about how he left on his own and he was never going back. From how he’d described it, his parents hadn’t been the best. Not even close actually, they’d sounded like shit to be honest. I mean if your toddler is willing to up and leave with zero intention of going back to you, like 100% willing to eat out of the trash instead of staying with you then yeah you’re probably a shit tier parent.
Wilbur had begged Philza to let Tommy stay with them. He had nowhere else to go and leaving him out on the street seemed messed up and he was so little, it’s not like he’d take up much space anyways. Yeah, Wilbur admitted the kid kinda ate a lot but no more than he guessed all kids ate… But they had a huge garden and some cows so it wasn’t a huge deal, right? 
Techno had been against it, they’d JUST started getting back to traveling again since Wilbur was old enough and capable enough to look after himself now. He’d argued that they didn’t need another little gremlin running around touching their stuff. He’d been eyeing the little blond boy as he stared openly at Techno’s own enchanted sword that was strapped to his belt. He’d tucked it into his inventory to keep it away from the kid and his no doubt grimy little fingers. 
But Philza had always been such a sap when it came to Wilbur and his ‘sad boy eyes’. So he’d ended up folding like a house of cards pretty quick, though he’d warned Wilbur that the kid, Tommy, was his responsibility. Philza wasn’t going to start looking after him when he’d not had any hand in taking him in. So Tommy’s well being was now solely in Wilbur’s hands. 
Phil had actually been really serious at that part, asking Wilbur if he knew what he was getting into? Because Phil knew how hard it was to care for a child, it was exhausting and sometimes thankless, and you can’t just stop whenever you want because someone defenseless now relies on you.
Wilbur hadn’t been dissuaded though, and pulled the shorter boy close in a half hug, saying he’d be the best big brother ever! Nevermind the child had started gnawing on the arm Wilbur had around him.. Techno couldn’t help but roll his eyes back then and even now as he remembered that promise. But Wilbur seemed happy at least, and neither Phil nor Techno would have to take care of the kid so it hadn’t been so bad. And later when they were alone Phil shared that he was actually glad that Wilbur wouldn’t be alone at home anymore. He’d felt bad leaving his boy all alone, even though he could defend himself. 
Techno assured him that Wilbur was a big boy now, practically an adult himself. So he didn’t need Phil worrying about him so much. Phil had laughed and said that was true but he couldn’t stop worrying, it was a parent thing. You never truly stop worrying about your kid. Techno figured that made sense but still told Phil that that was one of the reasons why he wasn’t having kids, too much stress. Techno’s a busy guy, he can’t be losing sleep over some helpless nerds. That had gotten Phil to laugh, which had been Techno’s goal. So, goal accomplished. 
Things had been good after that. At least that’s how Techno remembered them to be. Him and Phil would travel and explore to their heart’s content, coming back to the house every now and again to take a break and check up on the brunet and blond. The kid grew like a weed, looking taller and taller with each visit. Him and Wilbur growing closer in height as well as their bond, soon acting like true brothers. 
Wilbur had been so happy, and Techno remembers the last time he’d seen him. Him and Phil returned home for another short time between tournaments. They’d walked up to the forest surrounded property they’d called home to see Wil lounging against the porch, guitar in hand with Tommy chasing around a bee, trying to catch it.
They looked so peaceful. And Techno thought that’d never change.
..But reading his letter now made Techno’s stomach sink a bit. 
Wilbur was asking for his help. His professional help.. Looks like he’d joined a server not too long ago and started his own nation; L’manberg. Technoblade couldn’t help but close his eyes in annoyance while pinching the bridge of his nose at hearing that. Nothing good ever came from governments, if he’d said that once he’s said it a million times. To the point where if he were a cartoon character from the 80’s then it’d be his damn catchphrase. But people just keep making and joining governments, even Wilbur it seemed.. 
And from the tone of the letter it looked like Wilbur was in big trouble. 
Techno scrubbed his hand down his face, his snout scrunching as he turned the letter over in his mind a few times before sighing and taking out his ender chest. With some mild annoyance he decided to help Wilbur out with his war. Better than sitting around being bored out of his mind at any rate. So he composed a letter back to the brunet, letting him know his services wouldn’t be cheap just because they knew each other, but he’d gladly help him turn the tides. Once that letter was done he handed it over to the parrot, watching it fly off back to Wilbur.
Then on a whim he decided to compose another letter, this time to Phil, letting him know what his son was up to. But knowing the winged man, he’d probably just find the whole thing amusing. 
“Well.. I better get packed while I wait for Wilbur’s reply,” Techno said before heading back to his house.
-0-
You carried Azo in your arms as the four of you walked back to L’manburg from the nether portal. Internally you were still seething at Wilbur, you knew what he’d done, to a child of all people. You knew Wilbur, deeper and more intimately than he would ever be comfortable with. But you’d held out hope he’d never sink so low as to harm a child.. You’d really clung to the sliver of hope, despite everything you’d seen him do in the lore streams..
But now you knew with a sad certainty how low he was willing to go for what he wanted. And you wanted nothing more than to sink your teeth into his throat and rend his esophagus from its place in his neck before crushing his skull between your palms. Your jaws ached with the fervent desire to cause the vile bastard as much pain physically as he’d caused you and your children mentally and emotionally. 
Though instead of succumbing to those feral desires you instead took a long measured breath in through your nose before letting it out through your mouth, just trying to calm your white hot rage since you needed to focus on the three kids you had with you and not the dead man walking over in fuckin Pogtopia~
You all got to your house and you mentally focused on how too small it was for your family now. Tommy and Tubbo already had their own rooms at your place despite each having their own homes elsewhere. You noticed they usually stayed here at night to sleep, which you were fine with. You preferred it actually, knowing they were safe in bed at night under your roof. But with Azo staying here full time you’d need to make her her own bedroom. 
Planning that out calmed your rage thankfully. Turned the magma level heat into a soft manageable simmer. Looking down at the little piglin in your arms made you feel so much better. Things weren’t perfect, no, but you’re just so glad she’s okay. You almost lost her and the thought makes your heart feel like it was being tugged out of your chest. But she’s okay. Things are okay. 
You remind yourself of this as you carry your baby through the threshold of your, and now her, home. You breathe and stop at the kitchen, telling the three it’s around lunch time and you’d make them some food. Both boys cheered and sat at the table, while you sat Azo on your hip with one arm while using the other to grab some stuff out of the ice box you kept around to hold food for the two teens. 
Azo watched you pull things out with curiosity, not sure what any of them were. Which sent a pang of sadness through you because you know you’ve let her try most of these before but she clearly didn’t remember it. Though you cheered yourself up with the knowledge that she could just try them all over again, rediscover her favorites and least favorites. You still remember the way her little snout had wrinkled up in distaste when she’d first tried a slice of lemon. That had been hilarious and you’d wished you had some way to record it to keep the memory forever, but oh well. 
“Mum, can you make us some of that fruit flower tea?” Tubbo asked from his spot at the table.
You smiled and said sure, and reached into the cabinet for the jar of tea you’d made for them not too long ago. You figured a warm meal and warm tea would be better for Azo right now since introducing her to cold stuff in the Overworld, which was already colder than the Nether, would be too much too soon. You noticed with a frown that she already seemed to be chilly. So while the tea was steeping you went over to the couch and grabbed the wool throw off the back and wrapped it snugly around her shoulders. She snorted happily at the sudden barrier from the chill this new world seemed to have.
“We’re gonna have to get you some new clothes, kiddo. Some that keep you warmer than your current ones do,” You said as you went to put some meat skewers onto the smoker and some potatoes in the furnace to bake.
You hummed and swayed your hips back and forth slowly as you watched the food cook. Then the tea was ready and you took Azo to the table and pulled a couple books from your inventory before sitting them on the chair, then you set her on top of them so she could reach the tabletop. She snuggled into the blanket around her while you went to fix the tea.
After giving each kid a cup you finished up the food and sat with them so they could eat. You idly listened as Tubbo and Tommy both talked to Azo, telling her all about L’manberg and their friends, and how they were going to show her around soon maybe.
You just let yourself zone out, taking comfort in your kids all being safe in one place right now.
-0-
Quackity had thought over what he and Reader had discussed the day they started rebuilding the White House. She said he had to make a decision since Schlatt had basically bailed on L’manberg. And she’d also said he’d deserved better than how Schlatt treated him. He’d honestly not wanted to think about that. Because thinking about her words made him throw his entire relationship into question. Did he deserve better than Schlatt? He wasn’t sure how to answer that. If he did then why did he deserve better? 
He didn’t want to start dumping on Schlatt, because they’d honestly had so many good times together. Great ones. They’d vibed so well while dating, Quackity can’t count how many times the ram had made him laugh his ass off. Just them two hanging out, sharing some drinks, spending nights out on the town in other SMPs, it was some of the best times of Quackity’s life. Even now, thinking about those times brought a smile (and soft flush) to the duck hybrids face. I mean Schlatt was charismatic, funny, and knew how to make his knees feel like jelly. Plus he had a few other good qualities he didn’t want to focus on too much in public..
But his smile faded away as those sweet memories made way for the not so sweet ones. Things had been great, yeah, but only when Schlatt wasn’t in a bad mood. Now that Quackity actually thinks about it there was always the worry of Schlatt’s good mood evaporating looming over their relationship. If he wasn’t happy then his bad mood sucked the good atmosphere right out of the room. It could be suffocating. The first few times it happened he’d try to give the ram hybrid some space, figuring he’d get over it. But that usually led to arguments, Schlatt asking if Quackity planned to leave any time things weren’t going perfect. That’d made him feel like shit, so he’d started doing all he could to keep the good vibes going.
Quackity isn’t sure when he’d gotten used to it but soon things fell into a rhythm of things being super great and awesome followed by something pissing on Schlatt’s good mood, then him being an asshole, Quackity doing everything he could think of to cheer him up, and then everything repeating in that cycle. It could feel exhausting at times but he just supposed that was just how relationships were supposed to be. But after what Reader said.. he was starting to question if that was right or not. He’d been so conflicted that he’d broken down and asked Karl for advice for a ‘friend of his’ who was having relationship issues.
He’d lied and said it was for a girl he was friends with on another server who was having issues with her girlfriend. Karl had listened to his edited version of events and told Quackity his friend was in a not very good relationship and she should break up with her girlfriend before things got even worse. That had just made his stomach sink further but he played it cool and thanked Karl for hearing him out, and he’d talk to his friend later and tell her what he thought she should do. Karl gave him a sweet smile and wrapped his arm around the dark haired male in a side hug before replying,
“Don’t worry, man. That’s what friends are for. Tell your friend if she needs any help leaving then she can come to us, we’ll help her out of there no problem.”
Quackity couldn’t help the smile hearing this gave him and said he’d let her know.
That’d been hours before and he knew he needed to message Reader and tell her where he stood. It wasn’t good to leave things ambiguous with her, not regarding his allegiance to L’manberg.. She’d messaged him earlier that morning, asking if he was doing alright. He hadn’t replied, wanting to talk to someone else about what he was thinking first. But he knew he couldn’t leave her on read for much longer. 
But just as he was getting ready to open his communicator.. it chimed.
He sighed, thinking it was Reader. But when he checked it his throat closed up.
‘Schlatt whispers to you: can we talk?’
Quackity gulped, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat as he read and reread the message at least 7 times. Curses ran through his head as he sat up on his couch, still staring down at the device on his wrist. He tore his eyes away, harshly scrubbing his hand down his face, just trying to calm his racing heart as he tried to focus on one thought at a time. Okay, okay, okay- he needed to relax, just- He jumped when his communicator chimed again. And when he looked back down at it anxiously he paused..
‘Schlatt whispers to you: please babe, come on
‘Schlatt whispers to you: i miss you
The duck hybrid stared down at the screen hard, biting his lip enough to draw a drop of blood as he did. Then with shaky hands he started forming a reply…
—————
@lady-bee-fechin @kacchasu @putridjoy @lunawritesstories @galaxypankitty3030 @paradigmax @zachariethememerie @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles @nikkineeky @artsimatsu @reverse-iak @corpiet @beepa99 @anxiousnarwhale @bananaaddictmilkshake @realitycanbeajerk @lostandsouciant @thegeekisheere @sparkling-gayyy @woman-soot @xxtwizztedxx @fall3n-vo1d @coolleviauchihadreamerlove @jaciahbabes @lucian-kinnder @deadroses2021 @victory-is-here @where-thesundoesntshine @itsberrydreemurstuff
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unhonest-iago · 7 months
Text
Birds & the Bees
Synopsis; how the birds & the bees conversation goes w/ Philza, Jschlatt, & Techno (separately)
Philza
Awkward as f, uses the word ‘mate’ a lot (not meaning friend), mentions how some species mate for life and how that could apply to hybrids
'be careful who you canoodle with, some species mate for life'
'i remember when i first met my mate, the goddess of death'
'i don't know about foxes but crows mate for life'
you know, the usual amount of trauma that comes from the birds and the bees talk
Jschlatt
Absolute worst, is drunk when he gives the talk
Goes into so much graphic detail
Doesn’t even cover stuff that he should; like how certain types of lubes can only be applied to toys based on material
Wasn’t going to even give you the talk until he remembered his dad giving him the talk and figured he should get it out of the way
Passed out afterwards, never bringing it up or mentioning it again
It ends up being one of the few memories you have when he dies
Techno
Probably doesn’t bother to give the talk as he thinks you’re old enough to know the consequences of unsafe sex
That said, he’s comfortable answering any questions, as he’ll probably just hand you a book that has the information
Not the ‘your body is changing’ type but like a genuine thing or at the very least craft up a pamphlet for ya
Keeps it short and sweet
78 notes · View notes
nerdysleepybunny · 1 year
Text
DUDE IMAGINE SBI WILBUR AND TECHNO BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU AND FIGHTING OVER YOU. Might write some fics about it tbh. Thoughts? Ideas? 👀
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lonely-lost-soul · 2 years
Text
Woes of An Immortal
(C!Technoblade x Reader)
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Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for 3k followers and I'm sorry this post came a little late! The vote to win was a one-shot with you all guessed it Technoblade. Enjoy the fluff, smut, and angst that comes with this fic.
As always I love you all and if you have fanart send it my way!
Also if you enjoyed send me a Coffee: Thanks Souls
~~~
When Technoblade became immortal his father had told him of the woes that came with it, immortality was a curse, not a blessing. Technoblade would be forced to watch his loved ones and old friends die while he remained young forever. It wasn’t something easy to live with, the guilt he would experience would never truly go away. The curse came with what his father called the voices, they yearned for blood and emphasized he needed a strong will and mind to ignore them. At the time Technoblade didn’t care was young and naive only looking for the power that came with the idea of never dying. He believed he never would fall in love, who would love a piglin hybrid, he was antisocial and okay with living all on his own for eternity. He was okay with never-dying until he met you. 
You were a simple girl in a village he was visiting, you resembled a greek goddess in the old history books his father had gifted him when he inherited immortality. He wasn’t one to fall in love simply based on looks, but it helped. You were in the town center children gathered around your legs as you read them stories. He had just finished tying up Carl when he noticed you were packing up to leave, he kept his eyes trained on you until he saw you were walking in his direction. Technoblade looked away immediately face burning from embarrassment, in his one hundred years of life this was the first time he felt butterflies in his stomach. He heard a soft hum behind him and there you were, god you couldn’t have been older than twenty, a baby compared to him. 
“Are you new here?” 
The question was innocent and held no ill intent, his tongue felt heavy as he nodded. You smiled warmly reaching your hand out to scratch under Carl’s chin, he tensed worried the voices would scream at him for you to stop. They were rather protective of his horse but to his surprise they were silent, he watched you pull a carrot from your bag, and Carl whinnied munching on the snack happily. 
“Do you have a place to stay? My father runs an inn.” 
“I’m here with my father I don’t know his plans. But thank you miss,” 
“No problem. Well if he’s unsure, it’s on the corner just over there. I’ll even give you half-price rooms,” You batted your eyelashes at him, “I hope to see you before you leave.” He watched you wave your hand heading off towards the inn, he felt a large hand grip his shoulder. He glanced up at his father, he was a bit taller than Techno but looked the same age as he did when Technoblade was born. Scars littered his face, and his scruff had turned into a beard over the years. His one tusk was chipped and his red eyes were dull from years of exhaustion. 
“Who was that?” His father’s voice was more profound than his own and Technoblade huffed slightly, 
“Just some women,” Technoblade mumbled, his father watched his expression, raising his eyebrow. 
“That’s the innkeeper’s daughter. (Y/n) I think her name is, young and pretty.” 
“Don’t try it old man.” Technoblade scoffed shoving his father’s hand off his shoulder, “She’s way too young for you. For either of us.” 
“Either of us you say? You mean you would’ve tried?” 
Technoblade stopped dead in his tracks. Spinning on his heels, he turned to face his father, “Don’t.” 
“Don’t what? She’s a pretty little thing.” His father made a womanly shaped figure with his hands, wiggling his eyebrows cheekily. “The children loved her,” 
“Dad please.” 
“You’re almost 25 Techno-” 
“Only by human standards.”
“You’ve never dated a girl.” 
“Dad-” 
“Or guy!” Techno huffed clicking his tongue in distaste eyeing his father wearily and his father only chuckled in response. “Well, you’ll have a lot of time with her cause we’re staying with her and her old man.” Techno grunted pinching the bridge of his nose between his glasses, “It’s just until we make enough money to move to the next town.” 
“Fine. But I don’t want you playing matchmaker or whatever the hell you plan on doing.” 
“My lips are sealed, no matchmaking from your old man.” 
But Techno knew the look in his eye, he’d seen it a thousand times before mischievousness and joy that Technoblade never inherited. He knew this was going to be a long trip if his father continued to act like a child. He only clapped Techno on the back and led him into the inn, he was surprised to see you sitting at the front desk with a notebook in front of you. You seemed to be drawing something, or maybe it was writing something he couldn’t tell. A soft bell rang as they stepped inside and you turned to greet them, he noticed a small flicker of pride in your eyes as you stared at him specifically. His eye twitched feeling frustration bubble up in his gut, you had no right to look at him like that like you’ve won some competition. His dad nudged him forward a smirk playing on his lips and Techno huffed “We’ve come to hopefully take you up on your offer from earlier. If it still stands.”
“Course it does. My father’s out at the moment but I can set you up.” You motioned for them to make their way over, Techno’s father went first and introduced himself, 
“Orpheus. Techno’s father at your service I can cover the stay for both of us and we’ll have separate rooms please.” 
“Father? Why you don’t look any older than he does! What’s your secret? My father's gonna kill you when he sees how young you look!” 
Technoblade groaned as his dad laughed with what seemed to be pride, “Why thank you pretty lady that means a great deal. Techno takes after me you know,”
“Oh, I can tell.” You mused, “you’re both very handsome.” 
Technoblade blushed, he knew he was blushing because he felt his cheeks and the tips of his ears burn hot with embarrassment. He shot his father a frustrated glare, “Ignore him. He’s an ass.” 
“I don’t find him to be that much of an ass.” You laughed grabbing two pairs of keys from behind the desk before walking out from behind it. “Surprisingly I’ve dealt with worse customers, follow me to your rooms.” Both men followed after you, Orpheus headed into the room that was assigned to him bidding you and Technoblade a goodnight. Technoblade noticed you still standing beside him and cleared his throat awkwardly, 
“Uh…thanks for the rooms…” 
“Seriously it’s not a problem at all.” You hummed giving your head a cute tilt to the side, “can I ask you something?” 
“Er…sure?” 
“You looking for a stepmom?” 
“HEH?” He knew his entire face was bright red and he felt jealousy bubble up in his gut unwillingly. You burst into hysterical laughter at his reaction and that only caused his face to burn hotter, 
“I’m messing with you oh gosh! I didn’t know you’d be so easy to tease.” You smiled covering your leftover giggles with your hand. “You’re much more my type,” 
“You’re bold…” He grunted nose scrunching in displeasure, although he didn’t feel that displeased with your comments. 
“So I’ve been told, I’ve also been told it’s charming.” 
“Whoever told you that is lying to you.” 
You tossed your head back and laughed, shoulders bouncing up to your ears eyes filled with pure delight, “Sleep well Technoblade, and have pleasant dreams.” Technobalde watched with careful eyes as you headed off down the hall, he gave a small chuff in your direction. However he couldn’t help but watch your hips and ass sway as you disappeared from his view, he flushed turning away from your figure. God, every minute that passed Techno was turning more and more into his pervert of a father. 
Technoblade awoke with a start, pupils shrinking as the smell of smoke filled his nostrils. There were terrified screams coming from outside the inn and a distinct sound of someone pounding on his bedroom door. “Technoblade! Open up there’s a raid outside in the village, get your sword and get up now!”
Technoblade was out of the bed like a shot, he didn’t have any time to put on armor, he just slid on his briefs and grabbed his sword storming out the door. “Dad!” 
“What kid?” He turned to face Techno, his hair spread out all over the place eyes blazing red ready for the bloodbath. The words stay safe were on the tip of his tongue but instead, he said, 
“Where’s the (Y/n)?” 
“Somewhere in the fray. Find her and keep her safe.” 
Those were the words Technoblade needed to hear before he burst into action. As soon as he demolished the front of the inn the screams were only getting louder and more frantic. Blood littered the streets and the doors of the village and Techno felt his vision narrowing desperately searching for you and you only. He heard another shout and managed to block an incoming attack from a pillager the stopped his ax’s swing halfway with the blade of his sword before running the man through. Blood splattered his chest and face as he pulled the blade out and with a sickening thud, the man fell to the ground. “Mama help!” The voice of a young girl shrieked he turned and saw her cornered by the giant creature known as a Ravager. Before Technoblade moved a blur flew passed him sending loose locks of hair across his face, the smell of strawberries and cedar entered his nostrils and the only thing on his mind was you. He watched as you unceremoniously threw a rock at the beast, it huffed steam pouring out of its nose. 
“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size!” Your voice was like a knife as it cut through the pandemonium around you, the creature turned to face you and it gave the girl time to run away in the direction of her family. It stomped its hoof against the ground its voice was a mix of many different animal snarls and you reeled back, Techno saw the panic settling across your face. As soon as Technoblade moved towards you the beast began to charge, your body locked up in panic and fear as a response. Luckily Techno reached you before the monster did and curbed its attack with a swift slice across the side of its face. The Ravager screamed bloody murder turning its sights on Technoblade officially, Technoblade turned to you, his eyes a blazing red, 
“Run.” 
His voice didn’t even sound like his in his own ears, it was the first time he heard them so mad, the voices all shouting to kill the creature in front of him. 
“Come back to me.” You stated sternly grabbing him by the pants and pressing a kiss to his lips, it was quick and he almost couldn’t process it with everything going on around him. You were gone from his body like smoke in the wind, and Technoblade could solely focus on the monster who was in front of him. 
“Alright you freak” he grinned flashing his teeth, “Bring it on.”
~~~
After that the two of you were joined at the hip, Technoblade and his father saved the village and were always welcome there anytime they happened to be in this direction. The village also said they could get any supplies they wanted for an amazing discount, which they both took advantage of without argument. Techno more often than not found himself not going on hunts with his father unless it was necessary and instead spent most of his time by your side. He helped you in the inn, even though he was less than personable to many patrons trying to get rooms he did have amazing stories to keep the patrons who frequented the bar on the edge of their seats. He also had a great habit of convincing you to slack off from your duties leaving most of it to your father, who could only bite his tongue because his daughter had caught the eye of the village hero. 
“Techno not right now…” 
“Are you not on your break?”
“I am but-” 
“Then come on no one’s gonna know.” He mused pulling you close by the hips leg expertly slotting in between them making you shiver against his thigh. “Have a little faith in my ability to please you,” He purred nipping and kissing along the column of your neck. 
‘Need. need. Need. want. Want. want.’ Now that the two of you were offical the voices had started referring to you as Techno’s and he was just realived they all could agree on something for once. 
“Fine…you horny bastard. But you only have until my breaks over!” 
“I can make that work,” He pulled you into the storage closet somehow being able to keep his lips interlocked with your own. You moaned sofly against his lips as his hands found your butt giving it a squeeze before lifting you up against the wall. Your legs instinctively went around his waist only serving to pull him closer to your flushed body, your breathing hitched as his tongue entered your mouth only briefly battling for dominance. You let Techno take over rather quickly his one hand began sliding up your waist and landing on the swell of your breast giving it a tight squeeze. He felt you moan at the sensation against his lips and he pulled away from you a string of saliva connecting the both of you, you whimpered and began to unbuckle his pants, he hoisted you a little higher so he could shimmy them down his waist. You purred sofly leaning forward to kitten nip and lick at his neck, he grunted feeling your legs tighten around him, he thanked the gods that you mostly wore skirts and dresses cause all he had to do was hike up the dress to your hips. “Hm?” He panted his hand poking and prodding at your entrance, “You’re already so wet for me? I barely touched you.” He snickered as his fingers disappeared into your folds you let out a needy groan head tossing back against the wall with a soft thud. 
“Hm…Techno more…” You panted pupils blown wide and hazy, “Add another so I can take you…” 
“Yes ma’am.” He purred adding another finger and curling it against the tight spongy-ness of your core. You moaned his name breath hitching in between the moans and he’s never felt more turned on in his life. “Yeah? You like that?” You only groaned louder your walls fluttering rythmically and tight around his fingers.
“I’m close.” You whimpered panting loudly, 
“You ready?” 
“Hmhm.” He watched with glee as you bobbed your head eagerly, as soon as he got confirmation he sheathed himself inside your folds. You both moaned, his head fell onto your shoulder as he panted against your wet skin. 
“God, you feel so good baby…so tight.” He snapped his hips and your moans began to echo off the walls of the room. “It’s like your pretty little pussy was made by the gods just to take me, so good.” Techno continued to growl in your ear nipping and biting at the skin there as he sang praises to you like a mantra. “S-shit-” His eyes shot wide open taking you full force as you began to clench and spasm around him, you shouted his name as you came and he wasn’t that far behind. He stayed inside you for a moment or two longer before you kissed the side of his head, 
“Gotta get back to work…I’m ruined…” 
“Hm good. You’ll think of me all shift,” He mused setting you on the ground watching your mixed fluids run down your legs before you let the dress fall covering up the mess successfully. 
“You’re an ass.” You grumbled opening the door to the broom closet with a huff, 
“You love me.” He spoke without really thinking, it was the first time he ever said it to anyone let alone you, you looked back over at him with surprise. He winced slightly, “er…sorry-” You cut him off with a kiss, 
“I love you too…” You flushed slyly before scampering off back to your job at the inn he felt his heart clench. 
You really were just too adorable. 
~~~
A letter arrived on his desk by a crow, Techno always kept the window of his study open he liked the fresh air to filter through his stuffy office. The crow let out a caw jumping around a little as Techno took the letter from his leg. He recognized it as one of Phil’s crows almost immediately and tore the letter open with his nails, he grunted a little feeling weight on his leg. He looked down to see his daughter clinging to his pant leg, all smiles and a toothy grin. “Now just what do you think you’re doing nugget?” He mused picking her up by the back of her shirt, she giggled loudly as he plopped her in his lap. Holly had your hair and face shape but she was gifted with Technoblade’s red and black eyes as well as her pointed ears. 
“Mama wanted me to come to get you! She said it’s almost time for dinner,” she hummed nuzzling into his chest, his face softening considerably. 
“Tell her I’ll be in, in a minute alright? I just have some last-minute work to do, tell her your Uncle Phil sent a letter.” 
“Okay, Papa. Love you!” 
“Love you to nugget.” He hummed watching as she squirmed off his lap and disappeared through the door. Techno released a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding in as he unfolded the letter, his eyes scanned over the ink and he felt his jaw tensing at every word. Phil was practically begging for Techno to head North to help his eldest son Wilbur, apparently the man had gotten himself kicked out of his own country by a dictator. Wilbur and his young companion seek to overthrow this new form of government and need Technoblade's help. A favor for an old friend. His past accomplishments spread that far, he was always known to be calculated, cold and ruthless, but he was younger than. He didn’t have anything to live for, no weaknesses, now, however…he looked up to see you standing in the doorway brow creased in stress.
Even worried you still looked ethereal to him, motherhood and age had taken to you kindly. So far your mortal body had barely any grey hairs and you were still as agile and lively as you were when you first met him all those years ago. “Holly said it was Phil?” 
“I need to leave by tomorrow.” He hated the way his voice shook, he had to clear his throat before continuing, “He’s cashing in a favor…” 
“Then Holly and I will come with you, we’ll pack up our things and-” 
“No. No, you can’t come.” Technoblade stood from his desk taking your hands in his own, they were always so small. He cradled them gently as a deep frown settled across your lips, “It’s going to be a revolution. If you and Holly get wrapped up in it who knows what you’ll be used for it’s too dangerous.” He kissed the top of your head in hopes to soothe you, he could smell your anxiety and could practically hear your thoughts spinning. “It won’t be too long…I promise to get you as soon as it’s safe and I’ll send crows to you every single moment I get. You…probably shouldn’t send any back though…in case they’re intercepted.”  
“Techno, what if we lose you and I never know? What if something happens here? I can’t lose you not to something like this, just because you’re immortal doesn’t mean you can’t be killed.” 
“Sweet Thing.” He tutted a smirk resting on his features, “Technoblade never dies remember?” 
“You’re such an ass.” 
“Yeah but I’m your ass.” He snickered capturing your lips in a kiss, and he felt heat like an ignition curl in his gut. His hands reached around to squeeze your ass and you let out the cutest squeal, 
“Techno not now! Holly’s waiting for us for dinner!” You scolded hitting him lightly on his broad chest, he chuckled softly watching your cheeks puff in frustration. 
“Hm…not now,” He mused trailing kisses down your jaw and onto your neck, he felt you shiver beneath his hand. “But tonight. I won’t get to taste you in lord knows how many weeks after today, you’re all mine once Holly is put to sleep.” He could smell the arousal coming off of you in waves and he smirked against your neck, “Yeah sweet thing? Sound good?” 
“Yes…” You whispered quietly face as red as blood, 
“Good girl.” 
When morning came you didn’t want to let Techno out of bed, “Princess I need to go.” He sighed as you buried your face deeper into his chest, you were still stark naked, body covered in bruises and bite marks for last night's escapades. 
“Just stay here with us…” 
“I wish I could. I need to say goodbye to Holly, she was devastated when we told her.” 
“You are her favorite.” 
“I am not.” Technoblade huffed although a bit of pride swirled in his chest, he caught you giving him a look. “Maybe a little, but she’s a daddy’s girl I couldn’t ask for anything better!” 
“Yeah…yeah. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He smiled sadly brushing hair away from your face, “I’ll write every day.” 
“Swear?” 
“I swear.” Technoblade noticed the furrow in your brow wouldn't disappear and he placed his large hand on your cheek. “What’s wrong…other than me leaving that is.” 
“Depending on when you return I’m not…I won’t look the same. I’ll be older…What if you don’t recognize me?”
“Even if I’m gone for years I’ll always recognize you. You’re my wife it’s not your beauty that wormed its way into my heart it was your personality. I told you when we got married that even though I’m immortal you’ll always have my soul until the day you die.” He kissed your forehead softly, “Plus I love me an older woman.” “Okay time to leave.” You huffed and he chuckled fondly peppering your face in light kisses, “Send me a letter as soon as you can.”
“Of course. Love you.” 
“Love you too.”
~~~
Trust was always something Technoblade valued, he’s been away from his wife and daughter for years now. Only sending letters and never getting anything in return was slowly killing him, however, he finally began to believe he was safe on the far outskirts of what was once known as L’manburg. His execution came and went and he showed those who were after him that he was never to be trifled with nor was anything he held dear. He felt like it was finally safe for you and Holly to be by his side forever, the only problem was Tommy. This kid was now living with him and Technoblade was beginning to see him as an apprentice, he had always emphasized how important trust was with the boy. He showed him his Wither Skull bunker and that seemed to get the point across and Tommy was much more forthcoming with the hybrid. 
“Tommy pack your stuff we’re going on an adventure, I got one more secret to show you.” 
“Oh fuck yeah!” Tommy seemed more excited about the idea of an adventure than whatever the secret Techno had. “When are we leaving? It's been so boring here lately! All the training has been b-o-r-i-n-g!” He punctuated by throwing an arm around Technoblade’s shoulders, the hybrid shoved him off with a huff. 
“Sorry for wanting you to be able to protect yourself.” 
“Sorry for wanting you to be able to protect yourself.” Tommy mimicked wiggling his fingers, 
“You know maybe I won’t take you with me-” 
“Big man! Big man come on I was kidding! Don’t be like that!” 
“We’re leaving at dawn. You’re in charge of packing the food and water for yourself understand? I’ll let you borrow one of my horses.” 
“Carl?” 
“Absolutely not.”
The morning rolled around and it was Tommy who was up and awake first, on occasion Tommy reminded him of Holly, even if it has been a few years since he saw his daughter. They both had the same energy at times and maybe that’s why Techno always had an odd sort of soft spot for the blonde boy. Technoblade got both of their horses set up and put the saddlebags on making sure to fill it with enough rations for the both of them because knowing Tommy he probably wouldn’t listen to Technoblade’s instructions. Tommy was beside him with his turtle shell helmet on top of his head and the ax of peace was strapped securely to his back. They set off due South, every so often Technoblade would look at the sky to make sure they were going in the proper direction. Even though he hadn’t been to your village in years he still knew the way there like the back of his hand. 
After all, Technoblade never forgot a place that held such meaning. 
It took them about a full day to get there, the moon was rising in the sky as they approached the village. Tommy’s face was set into a frown his eyebrows raised practically into his forehead, “So…is this a pit stop for the night or?” 
“Nah this is it.” 
“Er…I hate to break it to you but this is just like any old village? What’s so special about a dumb village? They got like epic trades or some shit?” Techno rolled his eyes hopping off Carl and tying him safely to a fence post and motioned for Tommy to do the same, his young companion did the same with a little trepidation. 
“Come on I’ll show you,” Technoblade began to walk through the rows of houses the villagers who were awake seemed to stop and grin at the very sight of the hybrid. Hushed whispers began to filter through Tommy’s ears and he subconsciously pressed himself closer to Techno, 
‘Is that Techno?’
‘No way he hasn’t aged a day!’ 
‘Someone tell (y/n)!’ 
Tommy wasn’t sure who this ‘(y/n)’ person was but ran into Technoblade’s back as he suddenly stopped short. They were standing in front of a cottage, beautiful vines wrapped around the wood and it seemed like wisteria were growing. You always loved to garden and the house looked beautiful, even more, beautiful than when he left it. The door swung open and before them was a young, teenage girl her (h/c) hair was pulled into two twin braids little tusks poked out from her bottom lip. Her eyes seemed to swell up with tears a pout settled on her face, Tommy looked between the girl and Techno and his stomach flipped the resemblance was uncanny. 
“Hey Nugget…” The girl made a noise launching herself at Technoblade, Tommy moved quickly to grab his sword but paused seeing Technoblade wrap his arm tightly around the girl. She was sobbing and Technoblade kissed all over the side of her head, looking at her more gently than he’s ever looked eat everyone. “I missed you…” 
“I missed you too dad…”
Tommy blanched, “Did she just say, dad?! Techno man what the fu-” 
Techno didn’t seem to be listening to Tommy because an older woman appeared in the doorway, the late thirties or early forties at most, her hair was speckled with grey but she was still beautiful. Her eyes were as wide as saucers an apron was tied around her waist, “Technoblade?” 
“Princess!” Techno let out an almost wet laugh charging to the door and wrapping you in his arms. Your scent was the same cedar and strawberries he almost cried smelling it on your skin, you were just as beautiful as he remembered you being. “I’m home…” Now she did begin to cry, weep openly in fact, she pulled away smashing her lips against Techno’s who gave a soft groan of pleasure. How he missed the feeling of your lips on his own, he wanted to sweep you off your feet and kiss you senseless but his daughter and friend were watching. He rested his forehead against your own, he Tommy was cursing like a disgusted sailor behind him but he didn’t care, he only cared about your voice.
“Safe? Are we finally safe?” 
“Yes, sweetpea. We are safe.” Technoblade whispered softly before pulling away completely, “Tommy come here.” Techno waved the boy over, he hesitantly walked towards the two aware of the teenager following behind him. “Tommy this is my wife (Y/n) and our daughter Holly,” He introduced and Tommy’s jaw went slack, “Sweetpea this is Tommy, my apprentice.” 
“You have a wife and you never told me! A wife! Am I the only one without a wife!” He practically shrieked, “And you have a kid? What the fuck Technoblade! How?! Why?” Tommy looked at you in awe, “this one really? What the living fuck! Who else knows about this!”
“Just Phil and now you.” 
That seemed to stun the blonde into silence, “Only me and Phil?” 
“Phil and I.” Holly corrected with a cute twitch of her ears, Tommy glared at her out of the corner of his eyes.
“Holly be polite.” You scolded softly opening your arms and wrapping Tommy in a hug, he made a sound of stress blinking a few times, “Welcome to the family Tommy.” He grew stiff in your hold before letting out a shaky breath and hugging you back in return, he held on probably a little longer than necessary. 
“Thank you…” He whispered against your neck before pulling away with a cough, “It’s nice to meet you wife and child of Technoblade.” 
“The pleasure is ours, please come in I just finished making dinner. There’s more than enough to go around, I never could break the habit of cooking for three.” You laughed softly feeling Technoblade’s hand on your back grounding you to the moment, “Do you like steak?” 
It took Tommy a moment to register she was talking to him, “Er yeah. Sounds good to me, I’m not one to complain about free food.” 
“Potatoes just the way you like it too Techno.” 
“You’re such a saint,” He breathed leading you through the door and everyone else followed behind the husband and wife duo. Tommy looked around the small cottage taking in everything that involved Technoblade in his earlier years, before L’manburg before the war. He fell back and watched as Holly took her seat at the table, and Techno sat beside her it’s when he could really take in the resemblance between the self-proclaimed blood god and his daughter. You were cooking on the stove smiling to yourself, he still couldn’t believe he was hiding an entirely new life and one that was so domestic. “Tommy. Take a seat. You look like you’re going to shit your pants.”
“Language.” Holly hummed and Techno let out a disgruntled ‘heh’ in response to his own daughter's scolding. Tommy snickered sitting on the other side of Technoblade turning to you, 
“So I have to ask how good is Techno in bed?” 
“Tommy!” Technoblade snarled face glowing red, you only laughed in response to his question, 
“You’re a troublemaker aren’t you?” You mused setting dinner down in front of him, and Tommy scoffed 
“Nah I’m a basically a saint lady. Don’t I just radiate angelic innocence?” 
“You radiate something all right,” Techno grunted, and this time it was Holly who snickered clearly enjoying the bickering. 
After dinner, you helped Tommy set himself up in the guest room, which he was very much grateful for, loudly declaring that you two love birds and keeping the volume down before disappearing. Techno’s arms immediately snaked around your waist squeezing you tightly, lips and trailing down your neck tenderly. He felt your neck vibrate as you let out a pleased and breathless hum, “Bed?” 
“Absolutely.” 
Once the two of you were secure and safe inside the room Technoblade allowed himself to finally fully relax in the presence of his once own home. He glanced over at you and felt himself smiling, mostly due to the fact that you haven’t stopped smiling since he arrived back here. “Come here, Sweet Thing.” He opened his arms and you fell into them, “We’ve both had quite the adventure huh?”
“Shut up and hold me…” 
He chuckled running his hands through your hair, “It looks good all salt and peppery I like it.” You pulled away to glare up at him, he noticed the wrinkles by your eyes and lips and felt his heart swell with adoration. “What? I do you’re aging like a fine wine. I love it age looks good on you. Just like pregnancy did- Ow don’t hit me!” 
“You’re just as horny as when I left. Age didn’t do you well it seems, you didn’t mature at all.” You scoffed but your voice was light and airy, showing no real malice and Techno’s grin only widened. 
“I’d argue I’m hornier because we’ve both had quite the dry spell, a few years now right?” He teased and he watched you flush pink. His hands were already on your ass giving it a playful squeeze, “unless, of course, you’ve been a naughty little girl hm?” 
“Of course not.” You answered quickly, “you’re my husband. You’re the only one for me, I love you.” He felt his heart swell immensely hearing those three words and he captured your lips in a kiss and he sighed softly against them. Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him flush he awkwardly backed up his legs hitting the bed before pulling you down on top of him. 
“You’re coming home with me. You and Holly, it’s safe I’m never going to be without you again. Neither of you girls. Phil, Tommy, and I will protect you I’d trust them with my life.” 
“Promise me.” You whispered lips hovering above his own, “That we’ll be with you for the rest of our lives?” 
“I swear it,” Technoblade assured, hands cupping your cheeks, “We will spend the rest of our lives by one another's side.” He groaned once more as your lips connected with his own, he really couldn’t believe how touch-starved he was without you by his side. “You’re so hot seriously, you’re like a sexy mom.” 
“I am a sexy mom.” You snorted as he broke the heated kiss with the comment, 
“Yeah but I feel like I’m like you’re my friend's mom and we’re home from school and me and you are having a scandalous relationship-” 
“You’re disgusting.” You sat upon his hips throwing your head back in laughter, he smiled bringing his lips to your neck nipping at your jugular.
“MILF.” 
“You’re a child.” You snorted letting out a small whine as he dragged his tusks down the collum of your neck, “Techno…” 
“Yes?” 
“Fuck me?” 
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” He purred.
~~~
It wasn’t long after you returned with Tommy and Technoblade when you fell ill for the first time, neither you nor Holly seemed used to the cold atmosphere where he made his home. It remind Techno how fragile you were and he fretted over you like a nervous parent would a toddler. You assured him it was just the flu and you’d be recovered in no time, you were right as usual and you soon adapted to the cold. Holly fell in love with her new home, she especially liked to spend time with Uncle Phil and Techno’s new neighbor Ranboo. As the years went by no one dared to mess with him or his happy little family, especially after the SMP got word of what Technoblade did to Quackity when he kidnapped Techno’s horse. They couldn’t even begin to imagine what Techno would do to someone who harmed his wife or child they would shiver at even the thought of the repercussions. As the years grew Techno remained the same age, the same looking he watched the world around him grow and change while he and Phil remained the only constants. He watched as Holly grew into a lovely young woman, with a knack for adventuring and getting into trouble with Ranboo, Tommy and Tubbo. She was just as reckless as Technoblade was at her age which was saying a lot, he felt like he always had to have one eye out for her which was hard to do when he had the other eye trained on you. Your hair had finally went fully white and it matched the snow outside their home, but you still held your smile and the light in your eyes. However, he couldn’t help but fret over you, it was clear your body was growing weaker and weaker as the years continued to tick by. 
Then you got sick. 
Not like the flu, this one swept you all too quickly one winter leaving you throwing up and coughing blood up into tissues in a way like Techno had never seen before. Phil and he tried all sorts of healing potions but nothing seemed to work, you only grew worse until you could barely get out of bed. Phil had whispered to Techno that night that he needed to prepare to lose you a little sooner than he expected. Techno felt his heart shatter at the idea, they didn’t have enough time together. He fell into a spiteful rage bubble in his gut, not at you but at the gods for cursing you with the ability to age. Cursing the gods of time that so much of his had to be spent away from you and his daughter, it wasn’t fair. You were still so young…weren’t you? He had stopped counting, as the numbers increased it only made worry and anxiety churn in his gut. Maybe he should’ve kept better track, if he did maybe he would’ve caught the illness more quickly and you would still be okay. 
“Mate you need to go be with her…” Phil interrupted his self-destructing thoughts, “You should spend however long you have left with her by her side and smiling.” 
Death was never easy, not for anybody but especially not for an immortal. As he held his lover's hand, he watched her eyes close peacefully, her white hair framed her face like a halo. He took in her appearance, smile lines, and forehead wrinkles, but she kept her love and her sharp wit throughout their life. He thought back on the many times as he got older that you told him he should move on but he never did. You were his soulmate, his lover, and his person. The child the both of you made was in the other room weeping softly, but he wanted- no needed- to stay with his wife. 
“It’s okay…we’re all here you can let go now sweet thing. My beautful, princess.”
A whisper like a butterfly's breath was all it took for you to go. He watched her breathing slow, the breaths were long until they finally came to a stop. It didn’t stop the tears from falling, fat and wet down his cheeks. He wished he could’ve died with you, he would’ve given up everything for you. He would’ve fought even the strongest Gods if it meant he could have even one more night by your side. He felt his body shaking as he leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead, you were older physically but to him, you were still the same you from all those moons ago. It was then he realized his father had been right all along. 
Immortality was a curse.
~~~ Tag List: @bloodrose0723, @lovestruckfool, @judas-draws, @friday-dsv, @xx-smiley-xx, @dreamslittlebitch, @thatguythatsshy, @little-odd-dude, @theultimatewifu32, @hee-hee-haw, @thegeekisheere, @honeyco0kie, @victory-is-here, @theoneandonlyyeti, @abovenyx, @boiled-onionrings, @fiorenc, @sandyy-woo, @pastelmoonwitche, @royaltytheo, @mack4676, @luluwinchester
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smokingtea · 1 year
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Living with C!Technoblade (dating)
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On the rare occasion that he would use the axe of peace in front of you
He would use it like a normal knife or even a butter knife
He once use it to flip some pancakes over
Techno is actually not really protective and doesn’t get jealous
I’m kidding he’s kinda overprotective and gets jealous often when talking to someone other than him, philza, tommy, ranboo and sometimes Steve
when you would meet one of technos best friends STEVE!
Steve would be a little suspicious of you but when you feed him some fish from your inventory
He instantly loves you
Weirdly enough techno would get jealous of steve when you would talk to him in a baby voice
One of his biggest fears is you getting hurt or getting hurt by him
During doomsday planning he would almost never come out of his room except when he would come out of his room and give you a big kiss on your lips and some loving words before returning to his room
During doomsday he would not let you go with him as he would be scared that you would get hurt
After doomsday techno and would have all his attention on you cause he felt like shitty bf after not giving you lots of attention for a while
Clingy techno is da best
On another note when you meet philza he immediately see the look in techno eyes when he looks at you
Philza recognizes the look on his eyes as the same look he gives Kristen
After meeting you, Philza would love you in a friendly ways and he would always tease techno about his in love state and techno would just brush it off
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squishycheekanon · 3 months
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Would you mind doing a dabble on Folklore!Piglin!Techno and his version of the Blood God and Voices? Like how he was picked, that’s if that’s part of his verse
Folklore!Piglin!Techno
Warnings: 18+, smut mentioned.
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In the Folklore verse, Techno was chosen to be The Blood God, when the old one died. And when I say chosen I mean like Harry Potter chosen one. He had no relation to the last blood god, he just suddenly heard the voices.
At first he felt like he was going crazy, the voices wouldn’t be quiet. They had their opinions which they couldn’t wait to share with him. Techno had to learn to live with it, he had to learn to be patient and relax.
Due to being the new Blood God, the faes, fairfolk, elves and dwarves respected him as their new king. He lived like one, in an ancient building graced with the finest food and drink that could be found.
In keeping with tradition, after two hundred years of being king The Blood God is hounded by the voices in his head to find his ‘one’ or mate. A more common nickname for mates is ghivashel which means ‘treasure of treasures’ but Techno loves call you fiðrildi, which means butterfly. He will explain why later.
Just as Piglin speak Dwavish, their mating customs are quite similar to Dwarves too, however their primal instincts and urges are a whole lot stronger than theirs. Piglin are half pig so their animal side takes over and heightens everything.
Techno knew you were his mate when the voices instantly went quiet, it gave him a type of peace he never thought possible. The voices fell in love with you, every single one of them. They talked about you non stop, every little thing you did, whether is was cute or sweet and there were even the more crude ones.
The only time they were quiet for Techno now was when he was fucking you. The mating ritual was so important and powerful, Techno needed all his focus and attention on you. The voice understood that, something that Techno greatly appreciated.
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rapid-looser · 2 years
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Leverage.
C!technoblade x gn!reader
a/n: this is inspired by the song 'Woe To The People Of Order', Cami-Cat's cover. Requests are still open, I'm just lacking motivation right now.
Can be read as Romantic or Platonic
Pronouns: They/Them
Request: Yes/No
Technoblade found it odd when you weren't in your house, which was located about 500 blocks from his. You had promised him you'd help him with planting a new bunch of potatoes in his third garden. So he searched in your armour room, which you would be sometimes, usually making new armour just incase a war broke out. You were quite advanced in armoury, as you had been taught at a young age. That was one of the main reasons you were sought out to join the syndicate. Not only that, but your neutral opinion on governments. As long as you were left in peace, you wouldn't take down a government, but if said government disturbed your peaceful life, you'd help in some way to bring it down. At first, Technoblade wouldn't talk to you unless it involved anything about armour or tools. But over time, he slowly started trusting you and taking to you more, as well as asking you to help him with his garden. After about 7 months, he considered you a friend. He couldn't find you anywhere in your house, but as he went into your kitchen, he found a note on your table. "If your trying to find [name], their with me. And unless you come to Las Nevadas for a rematch, they'll loose all their canon lives. Make your choice Technoblade, because i won't wait forever. -Quackity".
As he neared the end of the note, the voices began demanding Quackity's head, While some of the other voices were worried for your well-being. As he finished reading the note, more of the voices started demanding Quackity's head. The louder the voices grew, the harder he found it to control his anger. Yes he retired, but quackity had taking someone that he shown compassion to. He placed the note down and started making his way back to his house. Once he arrived, he opened his ender chest, and equipped his axe, grabbed a few potions of healing and regeneration and put on his armour. His door opened, and Phil stepped in. "Mate, where are you going?" He said as he neared his old friend, Technoblade. "Quackity wanted a rematch, and instead of asking straight up, he took [name], as leverage, I'm assuming." He replied, as he got up and walked towards the coat rack, where his coat and his mask were. "Mate, are you sure it isn't a trap? You settled your score with him last time. And he wouldn't risk loosing another life, would he?" Phil mumbled, more to himself then technoblade. "It doesn't matter if it's a trap or not Phil, he knows what leverage does to people, and he'd be the only one in the server that would ask for a rematch. If worse comes to worse, I'll ask you to come and help me." He spoke, after a few seconds. And with that, he got on Carl before Phil could reply to him, and rode towards the coordinates which was on the note.
Once he neared the coordinates, he stopped, and tied Carl up to a tree, out of site. He got his axe out, and walked the rest of the way to the coordinates. Once he arrived, he saw quackity with full netherite armour on, and you, with lava below you. "Let's just get to the point. If you drop all your armour, and weapons, I'll let [name] go, and they won't get harmed. If you don't, they get dropped into the lava below them." He said, once he saw technoblade. "After that, you'll return to the prison, and I'll let [name] leave entirely. Do not try any funny business, because I've got Sam waiting 700 blocks away, and he's got full netherite armour as well." He continued, not waiting for technoblade to reply to his last statement. "So you ask for a rematch, then you threaten to harm someone who has nothing to do with this? That's kinda lame don't you think?" He replied, sarcastically. A few seconds pasted, before he reached for his axe and Quackity in the shoulder. "Fuck- you've fucked up Technoblade." He said, while backing up from technoblade and drinking a potion of healing. "SAM, PULL THE LEVER" He yelled, while pulling out his sword. Not long after that, the cobblestone floor beneath you started to disappear and the lava started to become obvious underneath you. "Well fuck this isn't gonna end well" you said as you went towards the edge of the floor, ignoring the fighting that was happening around you.
Just as the floor was about to entirely disappear, someone threw you a totem or undying, which you caught in a matter of seconds. "You better hope that you die a quick death quackity, because I'll personally torture you to death if your dying to me." Technoblade said as he removed his axe from Quackity's throat, which has been there a few seconds prior. "Leave me be, and leave them as well. And if i see you one more time, you'll be killed for sure." He continued speaking, as he stood up entirely and put his axe away.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
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hatchetislostpog · 2 years
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Techno: Ok so-
Y/n: We leave at dawn, the food and hotels have been arranged
Techno: ...ok what about the-
Y/n: No worries I've got your snacks and blankets
Techno: ...I love you
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maxismp1 · 2 years
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Philza : “Techno, for research purposes, are you the big spoon or the little spoon?”
Techno: “i'm a knife.”
Y/n, from across the room: “he’s the little spoon”
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