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#bts au
daydreambts · 17 minutes ago
Seokjin smiled widely hearing Sakura was okay, tightening his arms around her waist as he holds her close to him, swinging the chair side to side gently. “Yeah darling? I think you should wear more costumes too. Might even have to take you out to buy more of you don’t have some already. We should take advantage of the time we have before little bun gets here. Because knowing they’re my child they’re going to want to be the center of attention. But I cant wait to see you in your uniform. Mother has mine back home as well. I’ll text Taehyung to bring it with him before him and Joon head over here for the party.” Seokjin smirked liking the idea of using costumes during sex. When Sakura clenched around him and started grinding her hips, Seokjin hissed out throwing his head back as he gripped her hips. “Fuck darling. You still got energy some more? If I would’ve known getting you pregnant would make you needier for my cock, I would’ve fucked you and got your pregnant earlier. Work that pretty pussy on my cock darling. You want me to fill you up with my seed some more? Have it drop out of you since you’re full to the brim hmm? Go on princess make me cum again.” Seokjin growled, leaning down and latching his lips to her nipples, giving it a harsh suck and lick, grazing it with his teeth gently before moving on to the other one. -🐥
I smirked when Seokjin mentioned having Taehyung bring over his uniform--I could almost imagine what we could do next time, but I decided to focus on now, and working at another round. The pregnancy hormones really made me incredibly needy. Hearing his dirty talk, I clenched my inner walls at a more frequent rhythm, whimpering a little as I had to twist my body for Seokjin to reach my breasts. "I'm really so needy right now, Jinnie. I feel like I always need to have you inside me, like I'd be empty and cold without your cock." Feeling him get hard again, I pressed my back flush against his chest so I could position myself properly. The chair was a generous size, so I could fold my legs on it, reverse-straddling him. I tugged his hands to grip my breasts then braced my own hands on his knees, moving my hips back and forth with long, slow strokes. "I want you to fill me up until I'm dripping. Your cum is my medicine, remember?" I looked over my shoulder to grin cheekily at him. Looking down, I could see the indent on my belly where he pierced me, the erotic sight making me moan and throw my head back. "I just can't get enough of you, honey~" I whimpered, accelerating my pace.
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daydreambts · 21 minutes ago
“Mhm wait” Seokjin mumbled pulling you close with a gentle hand on your waist, kissing your lips gently as his tongue caressed them almost teasingly before letting you go. Now one he thought this was payback for your more then exciting teasing from earlier in the morning and two he just wanted to. As you went, he figured he had some time to kill because he had a knack for getting ready quickly owing to multiple mornings of waking up very late. He figured he could work on the little homework he had pending. He tried to get it done all mostly during his time at University however there was always some backlog.
Realizing that he almost been sitting and working for half an hour he quickly went to get ready. Donning on a pair on jeans and a navy oversized T-shirt, he was ready in record time. He was about to knock on your door, somehow wanting to experience the domestic feeling of watching you finish up getting ready, while you sat on the vanity. Until he has a idea going to the garage he found what he was looking for - a picnic basket and a blanket. He knew the fridge always had chilled white wine, so he placed that in the car cooler and also made some chocolate covered strawberries to pack in the basket. Placing the stuff in the car, he finally made his way to your room while fixing his hair which had moved from the style he was wearing them and knocked on the rooms door. 🦄
It had gotten warmer, so I slipped on a maxi dress in a dusty rose shade with a subtle floral print. The silhouette clung at the bodice and flowed out into an A-line skirt so it didn't drown me. I picked a pair of wedge sandals in lemon yellow and arranged my hair in a side plait, putting on just a touch of makeup, then went to my studio to pack my painting bag. As I walked out, I could hear Seokjin at the bedroom, so I approached him. "We have a stand umbrella, don't we? My folding chair has one, since I can't stand too much sun, but it might not cover you too." As we placed the items in the car, I saw the picnic stuff. "Oh, that's nice." I wrapped my arms around his waist and smiled up at him. "Let's go?"
The field wasn't even ten minutes away, so we were soon walking among the yellow flowers. Taking in a deep breath of the honeyed scent, I leaned down towards one flower. "They're pretty unremarkable by themselves, but they make such a majestic sight all together. I'm sure there's some kind of philosophical quote that could be extracted from that." Finding a good view, we set up the blanket and umbrella. Sitting on my chair, I set up my easel. "We usually use pigment chips in the studio, but it's forgivable to use colors in tubes outside," I told Seokjin, as I took out my palette and squeezed paint on it. Picking two sprays of flowers as the foreground, I depicted the background behind them with less detail, trying to keep my strokes fluid and leave enough white space.
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daydreambts · 21 minutes ago
“You were good too lovie. I didnt know you had all of that in you. You’re always full of surprises. I liked the edging, but I wasn’t used to it. Maybe we can slowly ease into it since we’re still kind of new to having sex. But the ice play was sexy. You always end up knowing what I like.” Sana hummed turning in Jimin’s embrace before nuzzling her face into his bare chest placing a soft kiss on it. “Now we just have to wait and see if I got pregnant. If I didn’t I won’t be as upset since we have all the time in the world to try for a baby.” Sana looked up at Jimin, brushing his hair off of his sweaty forehead before placing a sweet gentle kiss to his lips. “What kind of stuff are you into Minie? Like your kinks and stuff. Wanna know so I can surprise you one day especially after a long day at work. After all my husband deserves to be taken care of~” Sana cooed rubbing Jimin’s abs up and down a smile appearing on her face loving the way it sounds to call him her husband. She traced random patterns on his chest, getting clingy like she always did whenever they had sex. “I love you Jimin. I’m so happy we’re married and to have you as my husband. I can’t believe this is our wedding night. It doesn’t feel real that only a few hours ago we were reciting our vows to one another.” -🐥
"I'm glad you liked it, babe. We can definitely take it slow with trying new things out." Jimin smiled at your assessment, stroking your hair as you nuzzled against him. "You're right, my love. There's no rush. Being pregnant now would be a nice surprise, but it doesn't have to happen now. We can take our time with it." He responded to your gentle kiss, pulling you into another one. He chuckled at your question, thinking. While you weren't as naive as you used to be, he was more experienced than you, and had basically tried out everything there was to try out in terms of sex. But he didn't necessarily feel the need to bring all of that in what he shared with you, and he definitely wanted to keep your comfort as the top priority. "I guess, I really do like seeing you all pliant and submissive for me... looking a little helpless." He smirked, tickling you at your side a little. "Maybe tied up? I like seeing you all fucked-out and whining, so edging was definitely great." Holding your face between his hands, he looked you in the eyes. "But most of all, I like seeing you pleasured. That's the most important thing to me." While he used to chase his own pleasure above else, it was different with you. He rubbed his nose against yours, chuckling. "I almost can't believe it either, but I'm glad it is. Now everything's perfect." The two of you were still positioned haphazardly and it was getting chillier, so he helped you sit up to lean against the headboard, holding you close as he pulled up the comforter.
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daydreambts · 27 minutes ago
“I’m sorry, I just get weird sometimes....think too much or too little into things” I mumbled looking down quietly, at my clasped hands. Somehow Jimins car always ended up being where we had the most complicated conversations, it was weird to say it was almost familiar at this point. I know I was unpleasant to deal with at best and maybe even creepy at worst. But I don’t know, I really don’t. “Do you get tired of doing the right thing? What if what you want is completely against everything you believe in, do you get tired denying yourself” I asked quietly.
“I’m not sure, I can try though” I hummed, at his question about the crutches. With Jimins help I got through the door of the car, leaning against the door I thanked him as he handed me the crutches. Now I really did put in my best effort, but god these things were impossible to walk with. “You might have to drop me upstairs I’m sorry....I can make you some very cheap cup ramen in return”. The dorm was scarcely decorated but there were a few pictures of me and my younger brother scattered around. I gasped in discomfort adjusting my position as I sat in my bed, looking up at Jimin suddenly realizing the awkwardness of the situation. 🦄
"Not really," Jimin said in response to your next forward question. "Perhaps if there's something I want enough... but I don't think doing the right thing has ever been so unpleasant." He was rather a logical person and could understand the rationale behind the things he had to do... and thinking otherwise wasn't a prospect he had allowed himself to entertain before. "Okay, you're going to have to learn how to use these properly--I've had a sprain before and it can feel as bad as a fracture." He helped you up to your room, setting the crutches beside the bed where you can reach them.
He smirked at your offer of ramen. "I hope you're not making that offer to everyone that helps you, it has gotten some weird connotations. Also, that's way too cheap of you--you should offer to offload some of my shifts at the fest, you know, I'll have to finish the booth by myself now," he teased with a mock-frown. "But anyway, I'll help myself..." He hadn't even been able to eat one of the toasts before your accident and he was getting hungry now. Squatting on the floor, he set up the electric kettle and prepared the cup ramen, taking two portions for himself. While waiting for the three minutes, he glanced around and saw the pictures. "Is that your brother?"
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ggukkiereads · 39 minutes ago
Fic Recs | BTS Masseur / Massage Therapists AUs
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Dear Masseur Anon,
I am sorry it took me so long to clean up this draft. =)  Just been busy and I get distracted sometimes so the drafts end up unfinished. But here you go 😊
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We Float @lamourche​ - Hoseok
one shot | 9k | Massage Therapist!Hoseok, Angst with Happy Ending, NOT SMUT, check tags for warnings | A, F
A face peers out at you. There’s no beard, no long shaggy hair. For a moment, you wish he did walk around shirtless. He’s handsome. He’s taller than you, with brown hair that almost falls into his eyes and undercut on the sides. Warm brown eyes and a cute nose. It’s fucking cute his nose. He’s wearing cargo shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and white crocs.
Well, that’s better. He’s still handsome and his kind eyes make you want to confess some prior sin, but it’s easy to scowl at a guy in white crocs.
🌷ggukkienote: I love this because I’d associate massage scenes with smut, too! But this is a different take and it’s more about healing.
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Transference @dark-muse-iris​ - Hoseok
series [10/10] | 79.6k | Therapist!Hoseok (he’s like a counselor slash massage therapist), more of sex therapist, BDSM, slow burn | S, A
Prolonged periods of work-related stress bring you to a crossroads in your life that leaves you prone to make impulsive decisions. During a routine visit to the local bakery, you stumble upon an intriguing business card belonging to a "tantric therapist" and take a risk. When you discover your therapist is an attractive young man with a penchant for shibari, you throw caution to the wind as he helps guide you to self-recovery.
🌷ggukkienote: part of my favorite Hobi fics. A must read and a classic too!
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Table Talks @avveh​ - Taehyung
One shot | 7.8k | Masseur AU, Massage Therapist AU, PWP | S
After a string of bad dates and even worse hook-ups, your friend encourages you to visit Heavenly Massage for some well-deserved stress relief. 🔥 (writer never disappoints with smut)
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Our Little Secret @pars-ley - Taehyung
one shot | 3.3k | Massage Therapist!Taehyung, some twist in the end | S
A relaxing spa session ends up being much less therapeutic than you imagine but you get much more than you thought possible
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Helping Hands @snackhobi - Taehyung
One shot | 13.3k | Friends to Lovers, Unrequited (OC, at first) | F, S
you’re used to being in love with taehyung. you’ve had a lot of time to get good at it, after all—by this point you’re the world’s expert at keeping your less-than-platonic feelings hidden from him, what with the amount of practice you’ve had.
but then he signs up for a massage therapy course, because apparently you can never catch a break.
or: the one where taehyung gives you a full body massage and then some.
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Touch @upinthestarsx3 - Taehyung
Drabble | 2k | College AU, Massage Therapy student!Taehyung, Best Friend AU | S, F
“You wanna give me a sex massage?”
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Side to Side @forgottenpasta - Jimin
One shot | 7.2k | Physical Therapist!Reader, Idol!Jimin, Idol AU, PWP | S
Jimin loves massages and as his physical therapist it’s your duty to help him relax. Even if it means blurring professional boundaries and going a little too deep with your “hands on” approach.
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Surprisingly Sensitive @mintchocochip - Jimin
Drabble | 1.3k | Dancer!Jimin, kind of post-smut scenario | S
You’re Jimin’s former massage therapist, and his new girlfriend.
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A Sweet Touch, A Finer Delicacy @koyakoo - Jimin x Reader x Jungkook
Series [18/24] | 73k+ | Masseuse/Masseur AU, Massage Therapist AU, CEO!Jungkook, Romance, Slice of Life, Poly AU | A, S, F
A place he wasn’t supposed to be with Jungkook being a big shot CEO; his father warned him about any and every scandal that could possibly arise but, this… wasn’t one of them. Jungkook’s curiosity had gotten the better of him when he overheard one of his employees talking about it and he found himself standing outside this place. His interest was definitely peaked.
Or, Jungkook goes to a massage parlor only to fall in love with his massage therapist(s) aka you and Jimin.
Tumblr | AO3 [18 chapters are posted on AO3]
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The ones deleted are:
↳ Soft Touch by minnpd - Jungkook ↳ Aromatherapy by iq-biased - Jungkook (author has ao3 but this fic has not been posted) ↳ The Namjoon one, perhaps is it by honeymoonjin?
Sexual Healing @honeymoonjin - Namjoon
One shot | 9.7k | Sex Therapist!Namjoon (perhaps this is the fic you are talking about? it’s more of sex clinic and not much “massage” but there’s a massage room, pwp | S
desperate to finally break your masturbatory dry spell, you seek out a professional.
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daydreambts · 51 minutes ago
Jin looked up at you a little wide eyed. “I never thought about putting soju in it.” He stood up and grabbed a nearby soju bottle, adding some to the glass. Taking a drink, it definitely took the edge off the sweetness. “Not bad, ” he said.
He was amused watching you ramble a bit. “I could tell she liked you. She's always wanted a daughter but got two sons instead.”
"I'm used to it," I said with a grin, then blinked, clarifying, "not to be cocky, I mean--I just seem to be the type that moms and grandmas and aunties like. Even though my peers usually find me a little aloof. I think it's usually a nice thing... I feel sorry for the sons being forced to hang out with me though," I mumbled the last part.
"Your mom is nice... Mama always spoke well of her, so I'm glad she likes me." Taking another sip of wine, I nudged the dried squid towards him. "Anyway, I'm sure people envy Auntie for having two sons..." I really, just wasn't good at making small talk, but I wanted to talk to him more for some reasons. "Do you have any plans tomorrow?" I asked, since it would be the weekend.
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daydreambts · 57 minutes ago
Annie reached forward and took one of the coupons from the glove box. “Oh, thanks.” She placed the coupon in the front pocket of her backpack as she pointed it onto her laptop get out. “I’m uh actually thinking about doing it tonight. I really just want to get it over with.”
Before turning to open the door, she patted the back of Yoongi’s hand. “Thanks for the ride.” Though, her words felt more like she was thanking him for so much more.
"You're welcome," Yoongi said with a small smile. He was, honestly, worried. But it wasn't something he could intrude in. Even if you did pick the cafe, he couldn't tell Hoseok about this matter either. Sighing deeply, he headed to the studio.
As he mixed the current song he was working on, he thought that he might cook a nice dinner for you, as a gesture of support. He wasn't quite sure what you liked though. Galbi jjim would be safe, but you might prefer dak galbi. Sora came in with Hoseok, and he greeted them, trying not to look too preoccupied.
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lifegoesonjk · an hour ago
Chapter Twelve | Choices
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Series summary
When Y/n takes up work as a photographer at MusicHeals Ltd, an entertainment company, she is forced to work with her worst enemy: Jeon Jungkook, a successful musician. Will they be able to solve their differences? Or will what happened between them in the past prevent this?
✿ Series masterlist
✿ Taglist: @imluckybitches @deolly @editorofeverything
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house-of-cakes · 3 hours ago
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Jamais Vu 
Masterlist || Series Masterlist
Prev || Next
Chapter 24: No Costume, No Entry!
Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU
Warnings: swearing??...maybe???
Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled. 
You guys...I can’t  W A I T  for ya’ll to attend the Coming of Age Party 🤭👀
If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊
Tagged list: @inspinkyring @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe  @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716  @thesweetest-peas @sannsia @jovialdelusionbouquet @starlight-night0 @moonibub
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bts-teaspoonff · 3 hours ago
Fangirl pt. 6
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Slow Burn, Idol A/U
Pairing: BTS OT7 x backupdancer!reader
Rating: PG
Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.
Word Count: 8.1K
Warnings: slight angst, minor character death, implied PTSD, panic attack
Taglist: @nochujeonjk @i-like-puppy-mg @miyochan @satotakeru14 @boba-tea1206​ @blimpintime​​ @kodzuskook​ @fangirl125reader​​ @xicanacorpse​​​​
PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
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You’re back at your apartment, staring blankly at the ceiling as you lay down on the floor of your living room trying to contemplate what just happened today. It was supposed to be a free day for you but so far, everything is so crazy. You shrill as you curl yourself into ball, rolling to the side, as you recall all the events that had happened today.
 From Hoseok attending your class then driving you back to BigHit, to standing in that recording booth listening to their voices as they mutter your name. What in the world did you do in your past life to receive all this happiness?
 You pull your bag from the table above you to the floor where you’re laying down. You stare at the brand new purple phone inside your bag. Jiyong handed it out to you when you asked for a copy of the message. You did refuse it at first but when Jiyong mentioned Namjoon specifically told him that there’s absolutely no way he’ll let you refuse their gift. You raise the phone towards the ceiling as you flip it to closely examine the phone. You let your fingers brush on the small and subtle BTS logo on its backside.
 “What did I do to be this lucky?” You unlocked the phone for the first time and almost dropped the phone on your face, taken aback at the silly wallpaper that appeared out of the blue. It looks like Taehyung took the selfie, with him and Jin in the front while Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook, in the middle row, were all adorably trying to push forward as if fighting for a bigger space in the selfie. RM and Yoongi were behind the other boys being so casual about it. You chuckle so loud looking at Yoongi in the selfie. It must have taken a lot of persuasion from the boys for him to join.
 You browse your phone to find the recorded message. After a few minutes, you finally found it saved as a widget on your menu screen. You click to play it on loudspeaker and pressed the phone on your chest as you anticipate to hear them once more.
 [All 00:01]                       
Hello y/n, we are BTS!
[Taehyung 00:04]           
Surprise! On behalf of our favorite sound engineer, Jiyong, we give you this one of a kind voice message from us, your favorite group in the world.
[Jin 00:14]                      
He told me he’s terrified of you when you’re angry…… What?.... Jiyong is telling the boys that I’m lying. Don’t believe what he says. Jiyong has a sister complex, guys.
[RM 00:25]                   
Hyung, don’t bully Jiyong unless you also want to give him an apology message
[Jin 00:31]                    
I’m just joking. Jiyong adores you. I can attest to that because he won’t stop bragging you to us even before you have worked here. I almost feel like I’m your close friend with how much he talks about you
[Yoongi 00:43]            
As expected, this message is now getting chaotic. Should we get to our main point?
[Jimin 00:49]              
Right! We actually suggested if Jiyong could instead give you a signed album but he admitted that you already have ALL our albums. Most of them being signed albums so I guess there’s no point in giving you an extra copy?
[Jungkook 01:05]      
So Taehyung, being a genius, asked us if we could record this message and sing a few parts of our songs just for you.
[J-hope 01:10]           
For our number one fan, we’ll sing for you right here. Every time you hear this, imagine that we’re singing in front of you.
[RM 01:17]                 
Enjoy our little gift! And can you please assure Jiyong that you’re not angry with him? He really looks like a terrified and sad little puppy
[Jin 01:29]                 
 A few more seconds, they started singing Butterfly. How many times have you played this song on repeat? You can’t even remember anymore. Listening to them sing it ‘live’ to you through this recorded message still gives off the same raw emotional performance compared from the studio version.
 Jiyong must have suggested them to sing Butterfly. You may have mentioned him once before that this song was significant to you but no one really knows the reason for it. At first, Jiyong thought that it’s just simply your favorite song from BTS but soon after, he realized that maybe you thought of your parents based on the message of the song.
 You didn’t try to explain anything to him even when he opened the topic of your parents. You just let him think that the reason why this song is significant for you is because, as stated in the song’s message, it expresses your fear of losing someone represented by a butterfly.
 It’s actually much deeper than that. You actually thought of yourself whenever you hear this song. Yes, both Jiyong and you lost your parents. However, you also lost a part of you after the accident. It took you years to recover yourself back from the trauma.
 It was late at night when you and your parents were driving back to the house. They argued for just a few seconds in the front seat as you observe them quietly from the back seat, then an upcoming skidding truck blinded all of you with its glaring front lights. When you opened your eyes, you were already upside down hanging by the seatbelt. Smell of gas was eerily present as you see the front of the car totaled along with your parents, making you the only survivor. Silence in that dark tunnel was terrifying.
 Jiyong wasn’t in the car when it happened. Fortunately, he was staying back at home with your grandparents because he was sick that night.
 Both you and Jiyong quickly became the talk of the village. There has never been a horrific accident in the history of your town. A drunk driver collided with the car that your family had been in, killing everyone but you. High School Orphans and only your grandparents now to take care of you and your twin brother. You had to show a brave front for your brother. You may be twins but you acted the big sister role most of the time and had to constantly comfort Jiyong through the pain of losing your parents.
 However, the guilt of surviving alone and the horrifying image of your parents constantly fights your sanity. You had to be strong for Jiyong but as a young girl at that time, you did crave for a figure to not just comfort you but also help you get up.
 When you heard Butterfly years after the accident, you understood it very well. In the lyrics, there’s also a hint of trying to save someone before they do something they regret or something they won’t come back from. When you listen to the song, it felt like there’s two of you. The you who is trying very hard to hold on is singing the lyrics to the you who is on the verge of letting go.
 The lyrics can be interpreted as losing someone you love. It can be an ex-partner, friend, or loved one. For you, it was yourself. Losing yourself. That’s what you were afraid of and fought really hard to not make that happen.
 That’s the main reason you became their fan. The complexity of their lyrics always seems to pull the unspoken words from you.
 · ───────── ·⑦· ───────── ·
 “Here’s an orange juice from me!” Taehyung props down the cold drink in front of Jiyong and sits down on a chair beside him, eyes still glued on Jiyong like a puppy.
 “How about Pad Thai from your favorite Thai place?” Jimin joined them as he offers it and sits on the other side opposite to Taehyung.
 “I’m sure he’ll choose mine. Hamburg steak with cheese and additional sauce.” Jungkook stood behind Jiyong, towering him as he leans in and puts down the food in front of Jiyong.
 “I’m telling you guys I can’t give it to you. She’ll kill me for sure this time.” Jiyong whined as he kick his legs from frustration. He wants to accept the food bribery but he knows that if he give what the three adorable troublemakers are asking from him, an apology message from BTS won’t save him again from you.
 “You used our song for her cover. I guess we have a right to listen to it or even have a copy of it.” Taehyung pouts followed by adamant nods from Jimin and Jungkook.
 When you were with Jiyong in the small recording studio, the three of them were actually just outside the door along with Hoseok trying to eavesdrop waiting for a reaction from you. They were actually surprised when Jiyong suggested that you try to sing to their song just to let off steam. Jungkook and Taehyung can’t seem to stop snickering when they heard you two siblings teasing each other through the intercom because you insisted Jiyong not to hit the record button when you start singing.
 When Jiyong asked you what songs you would like to sing, you declared to sing short covers to Promise, Still With You and Snow Flower, granting gasps from the three song owners sneaking outside. Taehyung actually choked a bit from his own saliva, not expecting you to sing his song.
 The four of them were all listening in as you were singing in the booth the whole time. Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung were absorbed especially when it was their song that you’re singing. J-hope was also amazed and surprised. Not only you were one heck of a dancer but an amazing singer as well. Your talents could bring other idols that they know to shame.
 After you were done and left the recording studio, they all rushed inside to ask Jiyong if he did record it all. To their surprise, Jiyong recorded it all but of course, he did it without you knowing. Since then, the boys have been asking and bribing Jiyong to send them a copy of the music file.
 “I helped you by suggesting the personal recorded message. Can I have a copy of her cover please?” Taehyung pleaded with his doe eyes. Jiyong, now closely surrounded by the maknae line, contemplates whether the risk of being chopped to pieces by you is worth it.
 · ───────── ·⑦· ───────── ·
 Inside the practice room, every other dancer is busy dancing their butts off. You lean back on your hands spread behind you as you quietly observe your other fellow dancers practicing in front of the mirror. With the purple phone in your other hand, you gripped it tightly as you let your breathing slowly normalize just after finishing your solo dance practice. Sounds of stomping and shoe skidding on the floor echoed in the practice room as everyone pushed through the hectic schedule for the day.
 Tomorrow is the team’s MT or three day team-building event that’s got everyone in a tight schedule for today to, at least, finish any preparations that could be done and present the couple dance routines in front of BTS along with the choreographers.
 BTS and the main choreographers later entered the practice room and soon the dance routine presentation started. You’re last to present along with your dance partner, Taeyang, the couple dance routine you’ve finished. When it was finally your turn, Taeyang quickly stood and offered to help you up off the floor. You have danced in front of the boys and the choreographers countless of times but why does it still feel like you’re dancing to be evaluated and be listed off the team.
 The other boys quickly took notice of your newfound closeness with your dance partner and they weren’t entirely comfortable seeing you smile so sweetly at him. Hoseok were glaring at Taeyang’s hand as they landed snugly on your hips to turn you into place. The three younger members were sneaking stares like a hawk.
 They all knew that one of them is gonna dance with you to this song eventually but seeing you be this touchy and close to another man ignited something in them. Unsure whether it was jealousy but they convinced themselves that it might just be the feeling of protectiveness since Jiyong had told them again and again to keep an eye out for you.
 Yoongi’s full attention today was not really on any dancers nor the dance routines. He knew the inevitable obvious choice, which is to give anyone from the dance line the solo dance spot. The only dance routines he gave his attention to, not caring entirely though, was the dance routine for a member with three or two dancers. He glanced at his other members and sees Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok sitting up straight and anticipating you to start dancing with your male partner.
 The second the music started, the four members on the dance line were entirely absorbed on watching ahead. Without needing words, Yoongi knew that the four of them are hungrily vying for the solo dance part. What he didn’t know was that the four of them were only thinking of the opportunity to finally have a chance to share the stage with you. The way your male partner danced to the music along with you, to the tunes of Without Me by Halsey, had them hungry for the coveted spot.
 Taeyang, your dance partner, carefully lands his hands on your hips and it travels down to your leg as you lean into him with your head back. Catching everyone’s eye at the intimate and almost sultry dance step, especially Yoongi. A few sneaky gulps occurred amongst them. You were completely engrossed in the music with movements completely fluid and expressions purely enchanting everyone.
 You were naïve to the scorching gazes and unfamiliar desire from the 7 members. Yoongi along with Jin and RM were now determined to insert themselves in the competition amongst the group for the solo dance part. All of them quickly exchanged looks the moment you finished dancing and the music stopped. No words were spoken but all of them understood that each of them definitely wanted the opportunity to share the stage with you more than the coveted chance to dance solo.
 You held your water bottle tightly while you quench your thirst. You eye out to the side as the main choreographers were busy talking to each other and to some of the dancers. Taehyung, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook were also busy talking to their managers at the other side of the room.
 “I see that you’re putting our gift to good use.” You almost choke on your water at the sudden voice behind you.
 “Namjoon? Don’t scare me like that” You cough. Finishing his cup of water, he slowly walked to your side. You quickly notice Yoongi’s head popping out from Namjoon’s side. “Hello to you two.” Namjoon cheekily grins and Yoongi smiled with his lips closed.
 “He said you’re putting our gift to good use.” Yoongi slightly leans forward, whispering. You glanced at him and quickly looked at the purple phone you’re tightly holding in your other hand beside you.
 Quickly after realizing that the two of them were eyeing your phone, you stammer while you took a step closer. “You really didn’t have to give me this. I tried to refuse it but Jiyong told me that you insisted that I accept it. Also, your other gift was unexpected but thank you. I appreciate it.” You smile nervously at the two of them, hiding the fact that you don’t just appreciate the recorded message but it meant the world to you. Obviously, you won’t admit that.
 “We did thought of giving you a portable drive for the message but I remembered that I did ruin your phone so I suggested that to them. For that I’m sorry.” Namjoon rubs the back of his head.
 Yoongi tries to join in the conversation, placing his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. “Have you tried exploring your phone? Checked the apps that we have pre-downloaded for you?” Your eyes widen at Yoongi’s sudden questions, followed by a shake of your head. “We did. You might want to check it out.”
 Both of them stare at you as you give them a dazed look. The hand beside you that has your phone slowly creeps its way up but the sudden presence of a hand halting your hand surprised you.
 “Um… Maybe check it later when you’re alone.” Yoongi faces the other way, hand still around your wrist. He thought that maybe by looking away, you won’t notice the faint tinge of pink on his cheeks as he recall what surprise he left for you in your phone.
 He slowly released your hand, aware of the sudden contact with you and the presence of a crowd in the room. Your eyes still glued to him, you did notice his effort to hide his bashfulness. You try to hold in your giggle at how Yoongi suddenly looked so adorable and it made you much more curious to check your phone. You remind yourself to definitely check what’s up with your new phone the moment the practice session is done.
 By the time you realized your work for today is done, you search for the boys in the room but discovered that they might have left the room ahead of the choreographers and some staff. Most of the dancers were also eager to call it a day. Must be because of the Team MT tomorrow.
 As the youngest of the new female dance team, you have always offered to be the last to stay and clean up the practice room. It comes as a shock to you that your dance partner Taeyang offered to stay behind to help you tidy up the room. While you may have gotten a lot closer with him, interactions with him outside of dance practice is still a bit awkward.
 You sneak in a glance from the other side of the room as he busies himself with turning off all the electronic equipments while you tidy up the corner from the other side of the practice room. To distract yourself from being antsy at the awkwardness between you, you take out your phone from pocket to try and check the apps that Yoongi mentioned.
 “Our dance a while ago was amazing.” Your voice got caught up in your throat when you suddenly heard his voice. He was still bending down, not looking at you, reaching for something behind the sound system. Almost instantly, you stood straight up at his compliment to hide the fact that you were glancing at him. Finally facing you, he says “Your moves were amazing. You really do transform when it’s time to perform just as the others say.”
 “Thank you. I’m still lacking but I hope I did good as your partner.” you say as you put your phone back in your pocket.
 Something about his gaze as he walks up to you made you avoid eye contact, bashful from the compliment. He slowly closes the distance between the two of you and you were so sure he was going to stop in front of you. You find yourself sighing when he just walked past you, to the water dispenser behind you.
“And thank you for staying and helping me clean up today.” You weren’t sure why you were so suddenly aware at how awkward this is turning out. Taeyang have complimented you before during practices but somehow, the change of timbre in his voice slightly made you nervous and hyperaware of the fact that you’re alone with him.
 “Anytime, y/n.” You turn to him when you saw a smile slightly obstructed by the rim of the paper cup as he drink up a cup of water. “Too bad I’m just a stand-in for that solo dance.”
 You barely caught what your dance partner had just said so you thought to try and ask him to repeat then a sudden sound of the door opening startling both you and Taeyang, your phone almost slipping from your hands. Your breath catches and you smile so wide it could almost reach your ears as you recognize the figure slowly coming up to you. Despite not having really spent a lot of time with Jin, his presence is a huge relief to break the sense of awkwardness filling your chest. You find your shoulders relax as you see him greet you with a smile.
 Jin was also confused when he saw that you were alone with Taeyang in the room. He hides his discomfort at the sight but seeing how your face lit up when he came into the room, he let the thought pass and kept his face neutral despite wanting to grin at how adorable you looked when you smiled at him.
 “Jiyong asked me to get you.” Jin says, still glancing at Taeyang drinking his cup of water behind you.
 “He could’ve just texted me. That lazy guy.” You hiss and then turned to Taeyang to bid goodbye.
 “See you tomorrow then?” Taeyang pats your head and turns to his bag. You excused yourself from Jin to run and get your bag from the far end of the room. By the time you walked back beside Jin, Taeyang have already left the room.
 “I didn’t know you and Taeyang were that close already.” Jin queries. He wants to press on further especially after seeing Taeyang comfortably touched your head but he doesn’t want you to think that he’s nosy. You and Jin were still acquaintances but with his closeness with Jiyong, you almost feel like a younger sister to him.
 “Can’t help it if we’re always practicing that solo dance routine almost everyday.” You explain. “But we haven’t really spent much time outside practice time. He’s just looking out for me since he’s kind of my dance mentor too.”
 I don’t think it’s just that, he thinks to himself. He saw the way Taehyung looked at you today. He knew all the male dancers well and Jin never saw that kind of gaze from Taeyang directed at anyone. Not that he has any problems with Taeyang probably having feelings for you, he just repeats to himself that he’s looking out for you.
 “So what does my lazy brother need from me to have asked you personally to come and get me?” You question him as you usher him out of the room while you turn off the lights and close the door.
 “Oh that. He didn’t actually.” You look at him, confused with brows furrowed. “I was the one who actually needed to get you and come with me. I only used Jiyong’s name because Taeyang was there.”
 “Come with you? To where?” Both you and Jin walked side by side along the hallway.
 “We’re having a game night at our dorm and the boys wanted to invite you.” Jin informs you, still looking ahead. He wasn’t aware that you stopped walking when you heard what he just said.
 “Wait, what, Me? Why me?” Jin heard your voice slightly go up and this made him turn quickly to his side, startling him to not see you beside him and rather, frozen a few feet behind him.
 “We invited Jiyong as well but he’ll be late. He said he’s caught up with work.” Jin beams at you warmly as he tries to calm you down.
 “Yeah but why me? I mean isn’t it too sudden for me to just barge in at your dorm?” You counter.
 Surely, this is a big jump from the warm gesture from the voice message and new phone. You’re happy that they have thought of you to come on their game night but isn’t their dorm their personal private space?
 “Jiyong has been a very good friend to us, almost like family and we all wanted to make an effort to get to know you as well. We usually invite him to the dorm whenever we can and I think he would be happy if you’ll be there too.” For a moment, Jin thought it would be a good idea to just use Jiyong’s name as an excuse to invite you because he knew that you would be uncomfortable if it was just them inviting you. In reality, his other members have already suggested to invite you even before he got the chance to suggest it to them.
 “I want to get to know all of you more as well. I’m just shocked that you all think the same way. Excuse me but I won’t deny anymore that I’ve been a huge fan for a long time. I’m sure you know that well by now.” You gripped the strap of your bag tightly and your nervous state didn’t go unnoticed by Jin. Your heart is racing a hundred beats a second at just hearing him invite you to their dorm.
 “I’m just glad that Jiyong’s twin sister is our fan and not an anti. It would’ve been hard for us to befriend you if that was the case.” He chuckles. Your heart is full at Jin’s effort to lighten up the mood.  “Come on. I’m going to buy food for the troublemakers at home. Yoongi will be cooking for us tonight but Taehyung and Jungkook texted me to get extras.” He pats your shoulder
 A little extra time to get to know them wouldn’t hurt. It could actually help you a lot with the solo dance routine. You wouldn’t want to perform badly just because you’re not comfortable and awkward with your partner. Thinking back when you first danced to the song with Taeyang, it just looked so wrong and you couldn’t convey the dance properly. It’s a blessing in disguise to get to be close to them this way but you wouldn’t refuse such a scrumptious offer.
 You were grateful for Jin’s effort to lift up your mood during the drive back to their dorm. Sometimes, you would tightly grip the seatbelt in front of your chest and fall quiet. He would suddenly pull out ridiculous puns that would bring out the most un-ladylike laugh from you. To distract yourself, you insisted to be the one to get off the car and pick up the order from a restaurant.
 Your breathing gets ragged and eyes unfocused the longer the drive went and the closer you get to the dorm. You think you might be sick with the way your stomach flips at the thought of 6 other people waiting for you.
 You froze behind Jin as he ring the doorbell. There’s still a chance for me to run, you thought but was interrupted when you hear unintelligible chatter from at least 2 people on the other side of the door.
 The door flew wide open and you were greeted by Taehyung and Jungkook. The two of them holding the doorknob with Taehyung slightly pinned beneath by Jungkook who seems to have jumped on his back. “You’re finally here!” Taehyung flashes his boxy grin at you.
 Your eyes wandered behind the two of them as Namjoon’s head popped up from the end of the short hallway visible from the doorway. He raised his hand to wave to you and you waved back.
 “Don’t crowd the lady and help me carry these to the kitchen.” Jin instructs them and instantly, Taehyung and Jungkook untangled themselves from each other and rushed to get the bags from Jin’s hands. You could almost hear Namjoon at the edge of the hallway teasingly smacking and scolding the two of them from overwhelming you when you arrived.
 Jin was caught by surprise when you try to hold in your chortle, shoulders shaking at the sight of those two being scolded. He stood against the door allowing you to go in ahead of him and when he saw you hesitate a bit, he hums and say with a grin “Don’t worry, those kids won’t bite.”
 You walked ahead further down the hallway, nervously treading every step. Finally, you get a clearer view of the inside of their dorm. Directly on your right, a huge glass chandelier adorns the ceiling complimenting the black and white interior of the spacious kitchen. A long wooden dining table in the middle. Across from the kitchen, an L-figure brown couch facing the huge flat screen occupies the living room. It feels weird seeing it upclose and personal after seeing glimpses of their dorm from online videos and their V-lives.
 Sound of plastic bags rustling coming from the kitchen caught your attention. Taehyung and Jungkook were rushing to take out all the contents from the bag, drooling at the sight of the takeout you and Jin ordered. Yoongi was busy chopping up something with his back facing away from everyone. You take in the scrumptious smell filling up the room and almost instantly, your stomach grumbled.
 Jin walked past you to mingle with the two boys. You see the back of Namjoon’s head as he sits quietly on the couch with a book in his hand. Unable to stay put, you hover towards the kitchen. Observing everyone as you make your way closer to Yoongi.
 “Is there anything I can do to help?” You ask as you examine the boiling pot on the stove while Yoongi continues to chop up what seems to be ingredients for a stew. The quiet and busy member seems so docile-looking compared to the cool and stoic Yoongi you always encounter at work. Sometimes, it even confuses you with how he’s hot and cold towards you.
 “You’re our guest. It wouldn’t really look nice if we let you work for your food.” He continues to chop, head only slightly turning to your direction, eyeing you out from the corner of his eye.
 You roll up your sleeves, ignoring Yoongi. “I’ll help you out. It’s the least I can do for the free invitation and besides, my cooking skill is highly commendable.” You carefully snatch the knife away from his hands. Yoongi, unable to stop you, stepped aside and glanced at Jin. Both of them chuckling at your persistence.
 “I’ll take up on that offer but if our dinner turns out bad, I’m blaming you.” Yoongi teases.
 “I have magic hands. I doubt it’ll go bad. It might even turn out a lot better now that I’m helping you.” You counter, chopping the vegetables at a much quicker pace than Yoongi.
 Jin stares warmly at the two of you comically bantering while seated on the dining table. He had thought of reminding his younger members to do their best to make you comfortable but it surprises him to see you fitting in almost instantly. He smiles as you comfortably interact with Taehyung and Jungkook as they make their way to sneak in between you and Yoongi.
 Come dinner time, Yoongi excused himself from the kitchen to get something from his room, leaving you alone. Might as well help him to plate and serve the food so you wandered around the kitchen, checking the cabinets for plates.
 You don’t hear the footsteps entering the kitchen while you search the bottom cabinet. The member could only hear the sound of the plates clunking against each other and not aware of the person obstructed by the huge black kitchen counter.
 “Hyung, it smells good.” You hear a groggy voice behind the other side of the kitchen counter while you take out a plate. You stood up and sees an equally surprised Jimin. You could tell that he just woke up from a nap, judging by his bedhead. “Y/n? Why are you in the kitchen? Aren’t you our guest?” He rubbed his eyes and quickly searched for the missing presence of Yoongi.
 You were about to explain yourself but was interrupted by Yoongi, returning from his room as he answers for you. “More like she snatched my tools and insisted on helping me. She won’t budge.” He huffs as he takes his place back in the kitchen, helping you plate the food.
 Jimin, still sleepy, quietly offered his help. Taking away the filled-up plates from your hands. Yoongi asked him to call the other members for dinner. One after another, the members take up their space in the long table. Jin noticed you standing timidly at the side not knowing where to sit as everyone continues to sit down. He calls your attention and pulls out an empty chair beside him. You automatically walk up beside him and sat down, observing everyone.
 It didn’t take long before the dinner got a bit rowdy. It wasn’t difficult to warm up to them, the feeling of comfort almost feels so natural. Everyone was obviously famished from the practice a while ago so the food was almost devoured instantly just as dinner started.
 The younger boys complimented the dinner non-stop and insisted that you regularly visit their Game Nights in exchange for your impressive culinary skill. Jungkook complained that whenever Jiyong would help in the kitchen, he could destroy whatever Yoongi would make. Yoongi attests to that but quickly protests and teased them for not appreciating his work in the kitchen.
 Jimin and Hoseok insisted that they clean up the table, escorting you to the couch. You see Jungkook setting up his PS4 on the tv across you. Namjoon stepped over the couch from behind you taking his place on your left and Jin sits down beside you on your right.
 “I guess we won’t keep you too late. You still have to pack for the MT tomorrow.” Jin turns to you, still observing you if you’re having a good time with them.
 “I’m sure you love the idea that you get to go back to your hometown even if it’s for work.” Namjoon reaches for a pillow beside him, hugging it.
 “Wait. Hometown?” your fingers froze just as you were fiddling with your phone.
 “Me and Jimin hyung were so excited when we heard that this year’s MT is in Busan. If I remember correctly, Jiyong hyung told us that his hometown is Busan, right?” Jungkook cheekily stood up with a cord in his hand. You could see the obvious grin plastered on his face as he searched for Jimin’s figure in the kitchen.
 You bite your lip as you nervously try your best to recall. Did you just forget about the MT entirely? You were sure that they announced the location for the MT earlier this morning. Maybe you were too nervous and occupied with the thought of having to present the dance routine in front of everyone that you completely forgot about the MT being in Busan.
 You sigh and rubbed your temples. Why would you even forget such an important detail like that? Just thinking about going back to Busan felt like an impending headache. There’s no way you could back out from the MT now. It’ll also look bad if you don’t join the dance team, it might send a message that you’re unsociable.
 Unaware that you turned pale and started heaving hard, the three men in the living room with you were now starkly aware of your sudden change of expression at the mention of the MT.
 “Noona, is there something wrong?” Jungkook asks with a worried voice, discarding the cord in his hands and swiftly knelt down in front of you. He tries to get a good look at you while you stare down at your knees, shoulders hunched forward.
 Your ears started ringing and you squeeze your fists as your chest started getting heavier each breathe you take. Namjoon slowly sat up straight as he sees Jin and Jungkook trying to call your attention. It was when Jin wrapped his hands around one of your clenched fists that you realize how close Jungkook is crouching in front of you, head bent to the side as he worriedly observes your face. Jin’s warm hands enveloping your small, cold and shivering hands. Namjoon frozen in his seat not knowing what to do to help you.
 “Um, can I excuse myself to the restroom please?” Your hands were starting to get clammy as you forced to compose yourself. You wish they could tell you the way to the restroom a lot faster as each passing second, it’s getting difficult to stay composed in front of them. Jin was the first to stand up from the couch and escorted you to the restroom, leaving Namjoon and Jungkook frozen in their seats.
 You quietly close the door of the restroom, making sure not to let Jin worry more. Once you were sure you heard his footsteps get away from the room you were in, you could barely hold yourself up before your legs buckle and you let yourself fall to the floor. Your weight propped against the door as you try to suck the chilled air into your lungs. Sharp successive breaths took over you, slowly making you feel pins and needles at the tips of your fingers.
 The panic creeps up on you in bouts. Your fingers claw at your legs as you hug them tighter. Memories that you worked so hard to forget starts to resurface and replays in your mind, leaving you suffocated.
 For a moment, you picture yourself staying in the restroom for the rest of the night. You suddenly felt so alone in a space filled with 7 other people. Even the thought of standing up and getting back out takes up a lot of energy from your body.
 Your excitement for tomorrow now completely gone and replaced by dread of going back to your hometown. It’s been years and you’re not even sure if you can even handle going back there. It was only two years ago when you recovered from being haunted in your dreams by the memories of the accident. You don’t want to lose your progress since it took a lot of effort by yourself to get back up.
 It took only for you to hear boisterous laughter coming from the living room and somebody knocking on the door to remind you that you have no choice but to go back out. You reach for the edge of the sink to help yourself up. Like a newborn deer, you can’t really sustain your weight as your knees started shaking when you were standing properly. You take in one last deep breath before opening the door.
 You crack your eyes open, body heaving with effort to get enough oxygen in your lungs but you’re met with the soulful brown eyes of Yoongi, narrowed in concern. He doesn’t question you further as you step aside to give way for him to use the restroom. It took three steps out the restroom before your knees decided to give out. Yoongi rushed to catch you before you fell to the floor.
 You squeeze his arms around you that were holding you up before facing him. “You tell absolutely no one… I don’t want anyone to worry…” Breathing still ragged, you huff out every word to the best of your ability as you realize that you can’t hide your panic attack from Yoongi. You must look so bad to see Yoongi study your face with utmost care. “Yoongi please?... I’ll be fine. Don’t mind me… Just until my panic attack subsides.” He softly shush you as he sees your great effort to speak.
 Yoongi sighs before calmly looking back at the empty hallway and to the living room where everyone’s pretty much occupied. His eyes wandered back to your shivering hands and shaking knees. You’re in no shape to walk back to the living room much less stand on your own. Yoongi slowly wraps his hand on your back and behind your knees before lifting you off the floor.
 The scent coming from Yoongi’s body calms you as he cradles you in his arms. Your head felt like lead, finding its way on the crook of its neck. Before you even realize, you find yourself clinging to him as you fist your hands in his shirt. His skin is slowly getting hot against yours, and his breathing seems to have increased if you were only able to notice. His heartbeat against was almost like a lullaby that greatly helped to calm you down.
 “You’re alright.” He coos as he starts to hear you sniffle. He quietly walked towards his bedroom, with you in his arms, to give you a place private enough away from the eyes of the other members. He slowly puts you down on his couch and when you were finally seated comfortably, he rushed to reach for a blanket at the edge of the bed.
 Your back felt damp, sweating all over and your fingers definitely feels asleep but clarity of your situation began creeping back. “Yo-Yoongi” You stammer as you realize that he chose to hide you in his bedroom.
 “Shh, don’t force yourself to speak. Take it easy. I’m here.” He fixed the blanket around you before crouching down to completely see your face. “Just keep breathing and it’ll go away. I’ve had my fair share of panic attacks so trust me when I say I’ll just be here until you say so. You’ll be fine.”
 You trust him as you find yourself focusing on your breathing. Once you find it easy to move your limbs with ease accompanied by a yawn, you know that the worst has passed. If it wasn’t for Yoongi, the situation could’ve escalated and would have made everyone unnecessarily worry about you.
 “Thank you.” You manage to speak out. “I feel silly that you caught me looking like that. Sorry.”
 Yoongi quietly hums, letting you speak further if you intend to while he reach for a glass of water on top of his side table beside the couch. He offers it and you take it with your hand still slightly shaking. He lets you drink first before he spoke up. “I overheard your conversation with the boys in the living room just before you went to the restroom. I was worried but I don’t know if you want anyone to check up on you. You were taking a lot longer than I expected so I knocked.”
 You prop your head in your hands, elbows leaning on your knees. “This is the first time someone has seen me like this. It just took me by surprise when Jungkook mentioned Busan. Next thing I know, all I could think about is to run out the door.”
 “I won’t force you to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. If you want to go home, I could just tell the boys to…” Your hand swiftly sprung out to land on Yoongi’s wrist.
 “I’m fine. Jungkook seems so happy when he showed me the games we’ll be playing. I’ll just take a moment then I’ll be back out.” You assure Yoongi with a heavy breath. He wanted to assure you that they’ll understand if you want to excuse yourself for the night but he kept quiet, trusting you that you’ll be fine.
 Not a second after, the doorbell rang to alert everyone in the dorm. Yoongi stood up from in front of you, eyes still glued on you as he saw you recognize the person on the front door just from the distinct way the doorbell was rung. “Don’t you dare tell my brother about this” You attempt to stand up, worried that Yoongi might tell Jiyong about your situation.
 “Don’t worry, I’ll keep this a secret between us. Just promise me that you’re fine before I leave you.” He assures you with his soft smile and gentle eyes as he opened the door and walking out.
 “I’m fine Yoongi. Thank you. I’ll just take a minute to fix myself up before I go back out.”
 “Take your time. I’ll try to come up with an excuse to keep them from looking for you. I’m sure Jungkook, Jin and Namjoon must be getting concerned by now.” He turns back to you before slowly closing the door.
 You find yourself collapsing against the couch, your breathing slowly going back to normal. You heaved and leaned forward to try and stand up once again. When you knew you were fully capable of making a few steps without stumbling or any of your knees giving out, you walked straight to a full size mirror beside the door to fix yourself up. You pity yourself for having been seen by Yoongi like this; your eyes and nose were bright red and a couple of strands stuck to your forehead due to the profuse sweat.
 To avoid anyone seeing you coming out of Yoongi’s bedroom in the effort to find you, you quickly and quietly walked out from the comfort of his room when you were sure you were devoid of signs that you were in utter distress just minutes ago.
 Jungkook was about to run to find you but stopped when he saw you emerging back to the living room. Completely different from how you looked a while ago, he stares in confusion as you greet Jiyong who was now also present in the living room. Namjoon shares the same confusion as Jungkook. Yoongi was sitting down beside them and he saw the youngest member’s eyes following you as he tries to study your now seemingly normal expression.
 Taehyung runs up to you behind the couch, pulling your wrist to ask you to play one-on-one against him. You don’t refuse and you take up space beside him, seated on the floor. Just before the game starts, you turn to look at Yoongi and found him gazing at you. You mouthed Thank you to him and he nods before you got back to play with Taehyung.
 Jin, Namjoon and Jungkook were wary when the topic about the MT came up again, you even catch Jungkook kicking Jimin’s feet to stop him from talking. When it was Jungkook’s turn to play again, you notice his eyes anxiously wander back to you from time to time. He must have been blaming himself for making you sad.
 Like Jiyong knew what you needed to cheer up the youngest, he offered everyone ramyun as a late-night snack. Jungkook perked up at your brother’s offer while still glued to the screen and what looks like he’s winning against Taehyung. You quietly walked away from the living room to join your brother in the kitchen.
 For a while, Jiyong kept quiet as you both hover around the kitchen. Normally, he would shower you with affection, tease you and bug you but you silently wonder why he’s not doing any of those. Your suspicion is confirmed when he starts to rub his hand behind your back as you discard the noodles from each packet. Your gaze dipped to him as stood there silently while emptying the contents of the soup packet unto the boiling pot.
 “Noona, can I have that spicy ramen over there?” Jungkook asks, timidly walking over towards the both of you. You notice that he was standing slightly far from you, shoulders hunched and head down. His doe eyes still glistening as he subtly avoids meeting your eyes.
Although you feel bad for him, the corner of your mouth quirked up at him looking so adorable despite him towering over you. He seems to be so intimidating at work especially when he’s so focused but if you could just ball him up right now in your hands, you would.
You beckon him to come closer with your finger. When he was about an arms-length away from you, he opens his mouth to blurt out something. Before he even let out a sound, you pat his head, stopping him from talking any further.
“Thank you for worrying about me.” His eyes gleamed. “I’ll give you a whole bowl of ramyun of your choice. How does that sound?”
Jungkook jumps in glee and he squeezed between you and Jiyong to reach for a packet of ramen. “Hyung, I like her better than you.” He sticks his tongue out then quickly dashes out of the kitchen before Jiyong could even counter.
You chortle. “You heard him. Apparently, they also request my presence every Game Night for my exquisite Culinary Expertise.”
“Well, I won’t argue about your cooking. Sooner or later, they’ll be bribing you for something. Those troublemakers.” Jiyong crinkles his nose, reminiscing all the times he spent with the boys where they’ll prank and tease him.
Yoongi sits back comfortably on the couch when he hears you regain your bright energy as you laugh and mingle with your brother in the kitchen.
Next: pt. 7
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purplepebbles · 6 hours ago
Just Hold me....(Part 1)
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Your boyfriend seemed to be a gift from the heavens, customized specially for you. 3 years later when he proposed you were more than happy to build a life with him, Everything is a dream, picture perfect until you find him fucking his sidechick a night before your wedding. The best part, he has been screwing her for more than a year!! Everything comes crashes down until you meet a stranger, absolute stranger who happened to be the best sex ever!!
•Pairing - RM×Reader
•Rating - 18+
•Genres - Fantasy au, lot of smut, lot of angst, stranger to best sex ever!!
Everything seemed like a dream to you, your boyfriend, your life, the proposal, the engagement, and the d-day!! You couldn't thank the heavens enough for this joy and most importantly your life.
Honey, we better hurry up if we need to catch the flight, Everyone's almost reached the airport!!!! Ryan flew through the door in your apartment yelling like there was absolutely nobody around the house. You just checked for the millionth time if you had packed everything you need.
You and Ryan had chosen to have a destination beach wedding with only the immediate family and the closest friends in Maldives. You wanted only the people that matter to you and Ryan the most to be a part of your wedding.
Babe, get the bags while I lock up and we're good to go you said while you shuffled for the lock in the drawers. Your best friend and her husband and your parents waited eagerly at the airport for you to arrive. You hurriedly hugged everyone and moved inside to begin what was supposed to be the start of a adventure of a life time with the guy you loved the most- Ryan.
You settled in your seats finally settling in from all the chaos that was happening right until you boarded the plane. You sat with Lisa while Ryan sat with the guys. Babe I have a amazing idea for the Bachelorette.... Lisa stopped midway as Ryan approached you, honey you comfortable there? He asked. Yes love absolutely comfortable. You could feel Lisa's giggles ready to explode the moment Ryan left.
Is he always this sweet? How do u even manage with all this sugar she snorted hunting for her phone in her handbag. I don't need to, he's always been this caring you blushed. 4 years and forever to go yet I can't figure this guy out, Lisa sighed.
Maldives was a beauty that seemed to just strike a chord by your soul. You loved this place and always wanted to have your wedding here and Ryan had made sure you got what you wanted. You checked in at the resort which was on a private beach with an amazing view of the sea.
You were always the one who planned everything systematic yet you had this incomplete feeling lurking at the back of your head. And it was even more frustrating since you couldn't get the hold of it.
Two days seemed to have passed like a dream considering how wild things had been, Ryan's bachelor party, your Bachelorette, the crazy parties, unlimited and impromptu shopping trips, the crazy drinking games which never seemed to end. Most importantly you had the people who you loved the most with you having the time of your life.
Everything seemed so much quieter today, the party had almost died down with the wedding just one night away. You sat soaking in all the beauty the sunset offered while silently watching the wedding planning team build the magic, the aisle on the beach. A warm feeling gushed over your heart as the same time tomorrow would be so different, you'd be Mrs.Brueckners to begin with.
Babe I think we should just check the wedding dress. Lisa shook you from the imaginative heaving you had built inside your head. You made your way to your suite and opened the wardrobe to keep your stuff when you realised you hadn't given your gift to Ryan. You took it and headed towards ryans room thinking of all the possible places that you could keep and where Ryan would find it easy enough.
Sugar she's right here, what makes you think you can throw yourself at me, at my wedding without anyone noticing? You froze as you heard Ryan hissing at someone. But daddy I came here to give you your bachelor party gift you heard a girl squeak.
You couldn't for the life figure what exactly was happening behind the door. A part of you wanted the person inside to be someone else but your mind knew for sure it was ryan who you had heard.
You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard loud moaning voices coming from the room, you pushed the door a bit to watch the most horrible thing you ever witnessed. Your fiance was being blown by a lady sitting on her knees naked and he was a moaning mess for her, you could feel yourself choking to the sobs that were erupting within.
You pushed the door open with all your might revealing the shock on their faces when they saw you. The woman ran inside to cover herself. You just looked at your fiance one last time before throwing the gift away and running outside.
Wait babe it's not what it looks like, you heard Ryan shouting running behind you. You stopped dead in your tracks not believing the guts he had to give a justification to what he did. Honey it's nothing it looks like, trust me he said trying to catch his breath. Oh really you barely manged to speak from the nonstop tears that were flowing right through your soul. Tell me, did you accidently shove your cock down her throat? Did you accidentally undress her? Did you accidently moan like you were experiencing the ultimate heaven? You raged at him.
Don't bother explaining ryan I think I'm clear enough to what I saw and don't you dare come behind me or try to project this as an one time thing or a weak moment because I'm not buying that. Ryan Bruckner we're done here you can take this thing and shove it, you know where!! You hissed at him throwing the ring with all the strength you had in you.
You kept walking down the street aimlessly as a million emotions ran through you. Tearing apart every ounce of your heart. You heard a loud music in the distance, you looked up following the noise. Atleast I could use a drink or maybe more than one you thought.
You walked to the entrance looking down until you felt a strong bang divert your attention and nearly tripping you off balance.. I'm so so sorry you mumbled helping the man gather the wallet and his phone from the ground.
I'm really stopped midway when you looked at the man scooted down with you, The man before you was devilishly handsome with extreme sharp features that could make any girl go weak in her knees.
It's okay no problem he said flashing you his dimples which were equally sinful. For a moment you seemed to be mesmerized by this man who resembled a Greek God with even sexier body. You managed to apologize still taking in this miracle right infront of you. He just flashed his killer smile before walking inside the club again.
As you stared behind him as he walked inside you snapped out of the daze and everything you were feeling started coming back again. You were just sure of one thing , you needed to get drunk right now to get rid of this pain. You could deal with this another day.
You sat at the bar circling the shot glass trying to sit up straight and trying to delete your photos from your phone. It was too much work to do in this typsy state but somehow you wanted to vent it somewhere. Growing tired of it you stood up to head to the smoking area to have your smoke.
You have a lighter? You asked the Group of guys standing infront of you. One of them handed the lighter making sure he eye fucked you before he inappropriately touched your waist. You know what nevermind, you shoved the lighter back to him and started walking away when you felt a sharp grip on your hand. Baby, why don't you just let me light it up for you, he tried to grab the cigarette from your hand pulling you close to him.
No I m good and I want to leave. you try pushing him away but he held you too tight by your waist, Just when you thought the day could not be worse, it was taking a turn for even worse. She said no dude!! You gaped hearing a thunderous voice behind you, feeling the grip on your waist loosen a little. It was the Greek God, you felt a strange flush of electricity building inside you as he walked towards you and pulled you away from the bastard.
The guys immediately left intimidated, Thankyou Thankyou so much, you stuttered holding on to the man who just became your knight in shining armor. I guess there are too many sorry and thank yous involved between me and you today he chuckled.
He Lead the way back to bar keeping you close to him and you felt a delicious tinge down your spine as he rested his hand on your lower back. You try to say something when he shushes you, mind having a drink first? Not all you say flustered because you were almost certain you'd blabber something silly.
You watched people dancing on the dance floor dance like nobody's business and felt a similar tinge when a hand touched your shoulders. You take your shots from him and gulp it down like it was nothing leaving him speechless. Woaah lady, you need to get a hold before you... he didn't finish the sentence as you pulled him close to you, close enough that your lips were dangerously close to his ears. Let's dance you shouted. Sorry? He sounded dumbfounded. Let's dance you said pulling him by his hand right in the middle of the dance floor.
You guided his hands to your waist moving close to him till you felt he could feel your breath on his chest. You swayed your hips in rhythm to the music slowly turning around and doing it on him. Nothing mattered to you in that moment, not what happened today, not what was to happen tomorrow. The alcohol was doing its bit perfect.
All you wanted is to loose yourself in the moment and maybe to this delicious stranger right in front of you. You could feel him tightening as you swayed on him holding him too close and guiding his hands to explore the other areas of your body.
You could clearly see him heating up to the moves that you had and fact that you had his hands wandering all over you was driving him mad. You know I don't want things to end up awkward-- Kiss me you whispered in his ear. He just couldn't believe the power you had on him, he was amused by the fact that he had no problem to do as he was said and somehow he had started to enjoy your confidence.
Before he could respond you crashed your lips onto his like your life depended on them. You nibbled his lower lip relishing his soft lips on yours as his tongue found its way to your mouth and moaned against your mouth. You pulled away briefly to land him some wet kisses on the outline of his neck and ears and you feel him tensing up at your touch, and his grip tightening around you.
Part 2 to be continued..
Credit to the respective gif owners.
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we-have-bangtan · 7 hours ago
Social media aus
Idol!Seokjin x Actress!reader
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Jin didn’t think much about it when Taehyung introduced Actress Song Y/n to the group, he wasn’t really surprised either, Tae had made plenty of friends during the filming of Hwarang including the wooga squad.
She was a struggling actress? Cool. She was beautiful? Cool. She was nice to him? Very Cool. She hung out with them often? Awesome!
But what happened when he comes to know her more, her pretty laugh and her pearly smile, her dirty sense of humor and the small heart shaped birthmark on her collarbone?
Will he bury the feeling six feet under? Probably, will he still shamelessly flirt with her? Definitely. Will he ever confess? Hell no!
(A/n: kinda bad, it was my first smau lol. pls don't feel obliged to read it)
Stay (hiatus)
Ceo!Yoongi x Heiress!Reader
Theme: fluff, angst, arranged marriage au
Marriage. It was the last thing either of them wanted, but with the pressure of society and family and with no better option other than each other, they get married, much to the delight of their families. Kindness mistaken for affection and hesitation mistaken for hated, how will this odd pair keep their marriage alive? Or will they give up and go their own ways?
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bonvoyagenoona · 8 hours ago
Bear with Me | PJM | 03: Bear Fruit
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pairings: jimin x reader
rating: 18+ / Mature
c/w, themes, & more info:  fic page | masterpost
special thank you: @helenazbmrskai​ for your art!
author’s note: Desperately tried to get this out to you all before Mother’s Day, but ended up being late. Hoping this is a nice little gift! 💜
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chapter 03 preview:
His eyes find yours again, and you’re left wondering if holding eye contact with your best friend ever resulted in you losing your breath like this in the past.
“And I…”
You grin. “Yes?” you whisper.
“Uh…” Jimin starts to turn a little pink, his eyes narrowing as he smiles bashfully. “Aw, no, it’s stupid!”
“Yeeeesss?” you tease, tantalized at there being something more, especially something stupid.
“And I… I…”
Jimin covers his face.
“You… you filmed your tissue?” you ask, confused.
You reach over for Jimin’s hands and pry them away from his face as he giggles. But when you uncover him, he gazes at you adoringly. Like he always has. Like he never has. Like you want him to from now on.
And he says, slowly, and gently, “I feel like I might miss you.”
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03: Bear Fruit
Jimin turns to you and takes you in. How many times has he seen you like this, fresh from a night of passion, smirking like you always do? But instead of raccoon eyes, or clown lips, he sees you. 
The everyday, real you. 
You as you usually are. But it’s the you that appears just a bit later in the morning, past the hacking cough and iced coffee. The you that had changed back into your clothes, oftentimes his clothes, and would confidently drape herself over the couch during the official roomie debrief, a naughty glimmer in your eye to preface the naughty story hanging on your lips. 
It’s disorienting, seeing things, you, out of order. 
And it doesn’t occur to him that maybe he’s not exactly in his usual spot when you’re like this, either. He’s usually in the living room with you, not still lying in his bed. But he likes the way you’re lying there with him, both of you truly blissful, relaxed, and content. Bare bodies, bare souls, bare faces. He maybe likes this better, getting to see the freckles on your face that, if you connect them just right, form the Big Dipper. 
He wipes the corner of his mouth with his thumb, which is chased by his tongue as he drags it over his lips. 
Does anyone else know that? he wonders. Does anyone else know the constellations that stretch across your body? Does anyone else know the depth, range, and beauty of your universe?
“Jimin!” you laugh.
“Huh?” he asks, still lost within you.
“You didn’t hear me?” you ask, a bit concerned.
“Uh… no, sorry,” he admits, embarrassed and grinning sheepishly.
“You’re so spacey today,” you comment, missing Jimin eyeing the path of the Big Dipper on you over and over again, drawing it forwards and backwards, making his heart feel restless.
“Still waking up, I guess,” he mumbles happily, lying on his back and pulling you closer into him.
You nuzzle up to him and sigh. “Understandable. I mean…” 
Shared smirks and bitten lips, you can barely hold eye contact for a second or two without giggling. After a night like that, filled with so many new moments, so many unbelievably good moments, you acknowledge that it’s a wonder that either of you are forming any coherent words.
“Anyway, what were you saying?” Jimin asks, letting his head rest against yours, both of your bodies drifting on the raft that is his mattress, the clouds that are his pillows and sheets.
“That you probably need to get going,” you yawn, closing your eyes and stretching your legs as you roll into him, your knee resting between his.
He yawns too, holding your knee between his thighs before groaning. “Shit. What time is it?”
You turn your head to look for Jimin’s phone. At some point, during one of your rare breaks, he had grabbed it out of his pants pocket to show you some proofs. But where had it ended up? It’s not on the nightstand. Surely not on the floor --- another crack on that screen, and the phone will be useless. 
Jimin moans happily as you feel around for the phone, your body climbing on top of his, hands flat and gliding against the sheets around his frame.
He kisses your neck, making you laugh.
You pull his phone out from under his pillow and smile as your eyes land on the last photo proof that he showed you. He’s only wearing a simple denim jacket and jeans. But he’s got a dreamy look on his face as he runs his hand through his hair, and his raised jacket gives you a peek at his toned figure, as well as the waistband of one of your favorite pairs of his boxer-briefs.
That photo took you right out of the break and into round… Nine? Ten?
“It’s 8:42, and I can’t look at this for very long, or else we’ll have to fuck again,” you tease, showing Jimin his picture.
He laughs and takes his phone from you without paying attention, merely moving it to the nightstand. With that phone and its necessary tether to time out of the way, he can wrap his arms around you and close his eyes, focusing only on getting his lungs to match your breaths, comfortable bodies and hazy minds threatening to fall asleep again. 
Jimin barely moves his lips when he talks. “Wait, 8:42?” 
“Seriously? I just handed the phone to you.”
“At night?” A grunt. “Did I miss my restaurant shift?”
“It’s the morning,” you laugh, opening your eyes to stare at him, amazed at how he’s missed the sunlight streaming everywhere.
Jimin sighs freely. “Oh, good. I thought we might’ve slept through the entire day. Feels like we did.”
You’re glad he feels so good. Sounds so rested. It’s such a compliment to you, the way he’s lost track of time.
But losing track of time isn’t always a positive.
You stretch again before placing your fingers on Jimin’s eyes. You gently open his eyelids. “You’re going to be late for your shoot,” you repeat, even though you don’t move off of him.
“It doesn’t start until 10,” he complains, shaking your hands off of his face and choosing to bury himself in the spill of your hair instead. “Let’s lie here a bit more. Just cuddle.”
You swing your hair to your other shoulder and place your fingers on his eyes again. “You need to get ready,” you insist, prying them open again.
Jimin frowns, the disapproving face he makes triggers more of your laugh. He takes both of your wrists in his hands and smiles up at you. “Fine then. Wanna tag along?”
Your eyes sparkle, and suddenly, Jimin finds himself wondering how many constellations can truly live inside of a person.
“Really?” you ask.
“Really,” Jimin answers, chuckling.
“You really wanna hang out?” you ask eagerly. 
Jimin can’t help but find you cute like this. So excited for something so mundane. “I mean, what have we been doing for the past decade?”
His eyes question what this invitation could have possibly triggered within you, but it’s just as simple as the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve been able to spend a full morning together. Plus, though you’ve seen him model in shows, you’ve never been to one of Jimin’s shoots. You’ve definitely been invited, but you’ve turned almost every invitation down. You’re not exactly sure why --- probably a mix of work or life being crazy, but also your not wanting to distract or get in the way, and not feeling like you fit into that world. Now, the prospect of getting more than just the glimpse you’ve had to see that glamorous side of him suddenly has your mouth watering. 
You smile and run a hand through Jimin’s hair at his temple. “Wow. I finally get to see The Park Jimin work his magic.”
“I have to warn you, though,” he replies. “It’s not going to be as cool as you might think it is.”
You roll onto your side, and Jimin faces you, propping his elbow up on his pillow, and resting his temple in his palm.
“There’s just a bunch of standing around and waiting,” he explains. 
The makeup and wardrobe teams, cameras and crew, and trendy music and mood-makers that you’d conjured in your imagination start to poof! away, one-by-one, disappearing from the scene you’d built in your mind.
“You’re really selling this,” you say sarcastically, momentarily preferring to let Jimin run off to work while you climb back into your bed to sleep more.
“Well, I’m saying that to balance your expectations. The reason I’m inviting you is less showy and more… selfish.” His eyes fall from yours and start to zig-zag along more of your freckle-bound shapes. “It’d be nice for someone to keep me company,” he admits. “Keep me entertained or something.” He shrugs. “These solo shoots get pretty boring without someone else there, and I think it’s starting to show in my work.” 
His eyes find yours again, and you’re left wondering if holding eye contact with your best friend ever resulted in you losing your breath like this in the past.
“And I…”
You grin. “Yes?” you whisper.
“Uh…” Jimin starts to turn a little pink, his eyes narrowing as he smiles bashfully. “Aw, no, it’s stupid!”
“Yeeeesss?” you tease, tantalized at there being something more, especially something stupid.
“And I… I…”
Jimin covers his face.
“You… you filmed your tissue?” you ask, confused.
You reach over for Jimin’s hands and pry them away from his face as he giggles. But when you uncover him, he gazes at you adoringly. Like he always has. Like he never has. Like you want him to from now on.
And he says, slowly, and gently, “I feel like I might miss you.”
You cackle, poking and tickling him. “We live together!” Your stomach twinges from laughing. “You can’t go a day without me?” you tease, delighting in the way Jimin is whining and trying to avoid your attacks while also trying to hug you closer.
He scoops you up, and you lie next to him, both of your heads resting on one pillow now, noses almost touching.
“This is different,” Jimin says, placing that eager thumb of his on the brightest star on your cheek. “You know it is, Red. I’m just not ready to let the day take you from me just yet.”
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You wouldn’t have thought there’d be much of a difference, but watching Jimin in his makeup chair at home is vastly different than watching Jimin in his makeup chair on location.
Here, Jimin seems to be a sort of shell of himself, focusing on getting in the right mindspace and letting the professionals swarming him do their job. The tools are tiny, the work meticulous. Small, softened pencils to cover a slight blemish. Miniscule tweezers to set his mane delicately, or take care of a stray. They work stealthily, and Jimin emerges like a glorious, perfect butterfly, ready and armed to take on the challenge of turning inspiration into invention.
You haven’t said anything to Jimin about it, but you’re a little afraid of this world.
The farther he travels into it, the farther he feels from you. Big things are on the horizon for him, which you can tell by the sheer size of the team working on him now. You remember dropping him off backstage to get ready for one of his first fashion shows, and back then, it was just him and your borrowed, old compact.
That wasn’t that long ago.
How long until he leaves you for this world?
“Everything OK?” 
You notice that Jimin’s eyes are suddenly on yours in the mirror, and you smile back. You smile softly from the short, leather couch that you’re sitting in at the back of the small room. 
“Everything looks great!”
“No,” Jimin says. He turns to you and rests his arm on the cloth of the back of the chair, his team simply adjusting to the new angles and going on about their work. “I mean with you. Everything OK?”
You raise your eyebrows.
“You just look, like, worried, or something?” Jimin replies.
You smile.
“Not worried, just excited.”
Jimin shakes his head. “Can’t fool me, Red. Excited looks like this.” He makes an exact copy of your face with his, but he turns the corners of his lips up with his fingers. “But you look like this.” He lets go, and the slight frown appears. “That’s worried.”
You laugh at how much he looks like you, unable to deny how accurate he is.
A stylist marks where he’s touched his face with a tiny, soft, flesh-colored pencil.
“Are you feeling uncomfortable?” he asks gently.
“No! No,” you say quickly, out of fear that he won’t bring you to a shoot ever again. “This is fascinating.” You smile genuinely, knowing that he’ll pick it up if you don’t. “Thanks for inviting me.”
Satisfied with your genuine smile, Jimin blows you a kiss. 
Sejin walks into the room. “Alright, Jimin, they’re ready for you outside.”
The makeup team clears the chair, and Jimin takes another look in the mirror. One person on the team fixes the fold of the lapel of the luxurious, perfectly tailored, summer storm silvery blue suit that he’s showing off, and Jimin smiles and thanks the team.
He turns back to you and gestures for you to join him, reaching his hand out to you, fingers wiggling.
You smile, stand, join him, and place your hand in his.
Sejin smiles at you. “Hi, Red.”
“Hi, Sejin.”
The three of you walk down the hallway, and you wonder if the bitter note in Sejin’s smile has anything to do with what Jimin pegged you as worried about. He’s in the loop about the plans for the baby, and you know he expects you two to become warring factions. 
“How are things with you two?” he asks.
“Good,” Jimin says resolutely, gripping your hand even tighter. “Very good.”
You smile.
You’re not necessarily sure about the warring, though. If an opportunity presents itself, should your baby really keep Jimin from it? Even if Jimin does want to be present and involved, you’ve always been fully prepared to raise this baby alone. 
“This look is amazing,” you reply, eyes scanning over Jimin’s form. “Never thought Jimin would be modeling pieces like these. Hopefully this exposes Jimin’s talent to even more designers.”
“I’m glad you said that.” Sejin’s smile comes off a little more warmly now. “There’s a really famous fashion house called Florilège---”
“Jeez, Sejin, Red’s not in the industry, but she’s not a total shut-in,” Jimin mutters.
“---and if the current projects go well,” Sejin continues, “Jimin could join their lineup.”
“Really?” you ask, in awe.
“There’s talk,” Sejin tells you.
“There’s buzz,” Jimin clarifies. “But buzz can also just be noise.”
“Well, I think that’s great!” you exclaim. “This is everything you’ve been working toward!” 
“Glad you feel that way,” Sejin remarks, grinning.
Jimin smiles sheepishly. “Been working toward other things, too, though.”
“Doesn’t matter as much as this,” you point out. “Florilège. Wow.” You look over to Sejin. “We grew up watching their annual show.” And then you turn back to Jimin. “Remember watching it at the house, with the twins and Tae?”
“All of us nestled together on our couch. Popcorn, pizza, and champagne,” Jimin remembers fondly. 
“To see you in it would be…” You try not to cry. “That would just be…” 
Jimin slows as he sees you catching your breath.
“I’m just proud,” you say, tears squeaking out of your eyes. You place a hand on your heart. “Oh, Jimin. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m---”
He giggles lightly and pulls you into him, hugging you and running a hand through your hair. “Like I said. It’s just buzz, Red. But thank you.”
At the sight of your warm celebration, Sejin’s grin dims just a little.
“Through here,” he replies, gesturing for you and Jimin to enter a loud and bustling room.
Jimin makes sure you’re settled in one of the two chairs set out for you and Sejin before he takes his place in front of the ballet slipper-lit wall, the blue of Jimin’s suit popping even more. Your gaze follows as the photographer places a matching cherry blossom boutonniere in Jimin’s front pocket, but your eyes detour and start following the line of Jimin’s suit jacket, onto his crisp, white tuxedo shirt, the top three buttons of which remain unbuttoned. You bite your lip, catching a glimpse of his collarbone, thinking about how just last night, you were pressing kisses onto him there.
“A great talent,” Sejin comments from beside you.
Jimin feels your eyes on him, and before they start, he winks back at you.
You grin. “Absolutely.”
“He’s just so captivating.”
You laugh fondly. “He’s always been like that,” you observe. “When he has the floor, you can’t rip your eyes away from him.”
Shutter clicks and light flashes surround you. Jimin hits pose after pose, his body language seemingly disinterested, but his fixed stare suggesting something more potent underneath.
“Well, if things keep going the way they’re going, he’s about to get a grand stage. The entire world’s eyes will be on him.”
You turn to Sejin.
“I know,” you say, keen on Sejin’s insistence. “And I know you worry about my plans with him. But I never wanted to interfere with his career in the first place. That certainly hasn’t changed.”
Sejin nods, but he seems unconvinced.
“Glad to know we’re on the same page for now,” he replies. “But as things pick up, you might want to start reexamining your expectations.” 
You turn back to Jimin, who’s delicately slipping his hands into his pockets, bending forward, and looking into the camera at an angle. 
“Can you give me a bit more?” the photographer asks. “I know the lighting and colors are quite soft, but I want a little more danger in your eyes. Wanna do a bit of juxtaposition. Stella’s wanting to convey just a suggestion of sultry with this next line.”
Jimin pauses, feeling unsure. “Danger.” He nods. “Sultry.”
He looks at you and smiles nervously.
“One sec,” the photographer replies. “I wanna get more broad light at this angle.”
“You won’t be able to lean on him the way you would any other partner when starting a family,” Sejin continues. “Just something to think about.”
Jimin looks at you and Sejin, more nervous at the fact that your worried face has returned.
“Red, come here,” Jimin calls to you.
You look back at Sejin before climbing out of your chair and walking over to him.
“Seriously, is everything OK?” Jimin asks.
“I’m fine, but what are you feeling?” you ask, searching his face, finding it hard to read him under all that makeup, no matter how natural it looks. “What was all that with the photographer just now?”
“Oh, just notes,” Jimin replies. “They need me to be more sultry.” He smirks. “Just need to get into it a bit. Still warming up.”
You smile brightly. “Well, I’ll tell you what I find sultry,” you reply, your voice low. Heated. “These buttons.”
You glance down at Jimin’s chest, hooking your finger above the first buttoned button, which sits between the bottom of the curve of his pecs, and the top curve of his belly button.
You sigh heavily.
“This little glimpse of skin has me thinking about last night.”
“Yeah?” Jimin asks, flattered and shining.
You nod. “Maybe you could think about it too.”
Jimin wants to grab you. Kiss you. Take you right here, in front of everyone, even this older woman who’s adding a bit of setting powder and quickly dusting the fallout landing on the precious boutonniere. 
But instead, he has to bite his lip and watch you saunter confidently back to your chair.
“You’re right,” you tell Sejin, “but one thing about me and Jimin…”
“Ready for another go?” the photographer asks.
Jimin nods. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”
He gets into the same position, turning at the same angle, but now, he slips one of his hands into his shirt while looking sideways, just out of frame, as if something is approaching that he can’t control himself about.
“Ooh, I like that,” the photographer comments.
A flurry of eager shutter clicks and light flashes underscore the feedback.
Jimin smirks and looks into the camera, bringing his thumb to his lip while straightening and broadening his chest.
“Ooh, Jimin! That’s great! Yes!”
More shutter clicks. Even more light flashes. 
“We lean on each other,” you say, smiling proudly.
And then Jimin just… looks at you. His head tilted. One hand is tucked into his pocket, the other just dangling by his side. His tux shirt has opened wider with his movements and playing. But that look. You don’t know what exactly is playing through his mind. And Jimin isn’t sure how he would even describe it. But if you could open up his brain, you would see visions of you twisted in his sheets, whimpering as he moves inside of you, saying his name over and over again in a trance, lips flush, temples pouring sweat, breasts and chest slick and glistening, legs intertwined and locked together, forearms grasping each other and holding each other together as your bodies break down, shivering and laughing in ecstasy.
That look. Equal parts soft and sensual, conveying that he could kill you, but that he wants nothing more than to die for you.
“Oof. Mr. Jimin. That’s definitely going in the final proofs,” the photographer replies, nodding encouragingly. “I think we’ve got this one, and in record time, no less! So let’s do the next suit. Set up for the green one. I want golden yellow lights in back. And Jimin?”
“Yeah?” he responds.
“More of whatever the hell that was.”
Jimin’s swarmed by his makeup team and ushered back into the dressing room, his candescent eyes still paired with yours.
You know Sejin is looking at you, but Sejin’s eyes can’t compete. 
You smile with satisfaction. 
“Just something to think about,” you say.
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When you regale the twins of recent events, you can’t help but revel in their shared, jealous look.
“Can’t believe you went on set without us!” Eun-jung exclaims, flipping through your phone at the blue suit, and the green suit, and the purple, orange, and black ones after that. “Fuck, he looks amazing!”
“You should go next time he invites you,” you say, leaning back in your chair. 
“What?” Eun-kyung asks. “He invites people?”
“Yeah,” you say, smiling. “I mean, other than for closed sets.” Your eyes widen. “Or, at least, he’s invited me before. I’ve just never had a chance to go.” You furrow your brow. “Has he never invited you?”
Eun-kyung and Eun-jung shake their heads in unison. “We’ve been dying to go,” Eun-kyung replies, “but Jimin always says he gets distracted when people are there.”
Eun-jung smiles knowingly at you. “Well, Red here’s a little different.”
“I mean, I guess it’s just one of the best friend things,” you say, but a certain feeling is bubbling up in your gut. A feeling that it isn’t just one of the best friend things that are saved for you and him. A feeling that it’s something more.
You try to tamp it down with a drink of your water, or a bite of your salad, or more of your pasta in this cozy restaurant that the three of you are having lunch in. Eun-jung takes another bite of her sandwich and stares at your phone, while Eun-kyung twirls her straw in her iced tea.
“Tell us more about this Sejin douche,” she says, taking a sip.
“He’s not a douche,” you say, though you suspect he might be. “He’s got to look out for Jimin’s career. I understand where he’s coming from.”
“But decisions are not up to him,” Eun-kyung replies. “Where or how much Jimin works is up to Jimin.”
“Of course, and he’s respectful of that. But I understand his concern. I mean, this baby is fucking with his money. People get crazy when people fuck with their money.”
“You haven’t even gotten pregnant yet, and you’re already worrying about whose money your baby’s fucking with?” Eun-jung points out. “I say we stop talking about Sejin and focus more on how you’re feeling. How things are going.”
“I say we stop talking about me altogether,” you laugh. “Every time we talk, it’s Jimin-this, baby-that. What’s new with you two?”
Eun-jung and Eun-kyung smile, yet another sentence that you’ve shared to highlight that this lunch, your get-togethers, your calls --- they’re just as much about them as they are about you.
“I mean, I guess things are good?” Eun-kyung asks, turning to Eun-jung, who smiles and nods. 
“Work’s been really good,” Eun-jung replies. “I’m up for a promotion soon. Didn’t know I’d enjoy working in HR so much. Most of the time, it’s still a bunch of diagrams and workflows and just double- or triple-checking stuff. But it’s nice, getting to support people. Make them feel heard.”
“Aw, ‘Jung,” Eun-kyung gushes. “I’m proud of you.”
Eun-jung beams. “Thanks. I’m…” She laughs a little to herself. “I’m proud of me, too.”
Eun-jung has always been good at that --- looking out for others, and generally connecting on something deeper than you might have originally thought to talk about with her. You’ve missed her warm, kind, sweet heart, and the fulfilled look on her face brings a smile to yours.
“What about you, ‘Kyung,” Eun-jung goes on. “Catch Red up.”
Eun-kyung is a little more outrageous and outspoken than her sister, but Chul has brought out a softer side in her. A side that comes out less like pure aggression, and more about protection. Protecting her loved ones. And you feel so lucky that you get to be part of that list.
“Oh, well, y’know. Chul’s been great,” Eun-kyung offers. “He’s been a little stressed and busy, but I admire how he doesn’t take all that home with him. And yes, I tease him a lot. But he makes me very happy.” 
She laughs quietly, eyes brightening. 
“We, uh… we actually had sex right before we got here.”
You and Eun-jung gasp and giggle, and Eun-kyung sighs happily.
“Are we doing a debrief?!” you exclaim, and suddenly, you’re 20 again.
“Well,” Eun-kyung says, leaning forward and folding her hands on the table, “we haven’t been sleeping together as often as we did before, but every time we do, it’s incredible. So… natural?”
“Sex is natural,” Eun-jung replies.
“Of course.” Eun-kyung thinks for a moment. “Maybe I mean more… intuitive?” 
“Say more,” you smirk.
“Like… we have our tastes, and we’re open to exploring,” Eun-kyung continues, “but because I’ve known him so much longer… and because we have this long-term commitment… we’ve developed a language of our own. We tell each other what we like, praise each other, tease each other… but it’s been a long time since I’ve had to ask him to stop doing something, or let him know I didn’t like something.” She grins. “He just knows me. I’ve never had someone know me like that before.”
Eun-jung sighs dreamily. “That sounds so romantic.”
“It’s impressive, actually,” Eun-kyung says bluntly, blinking with realization. “Usually I have to tell him to do everything else.”
You all laugh, and then you notice that Eun-jung and Eun-kyung are looking at you expectantly.
“Go on,” you laugh. 
“Oh,” Eun-kyung says, she and Eun-jung suddenly looking away. “Sorry. I just had the thought that--- Well, no, it’s dumb---”
“No, I had the same thought,” Eun-jung defends.
“Right?” Eun-kyung asks.
“I mean, it’d make sense.”
“And the thought is?” you ask, laughing.
“I wondered if you’d ever felt that with Jimin,” Eun-kyung replies.
“Because you’ve known each other for so long,” Eun-jung adds. “And you know each other so well.”
You roll your eyes. How they continue to manage bringing the conversation back to you, you aren’t sure. “I told you about all the weird times we’d had making the baby, right?”
They nod. 
But then they look relieved, even delighted when you smile, especially given the way you’re smiling.
“It’s not like that anymore.”
The twins laugh and egg you on, but you stand.
“Let me run to the bathroom first,” you chuckle.
You weave through the restaurant, the ambient noise fading in and out as you walk through the dimly lit hallway into the women’s restroom. You find it empty and choose the last stall. And then you hear two other women enter the restroom. Co-workers, if you had to guess.
“He’s being such a dick about the presentation,” one says. You hear her use the sink to wash her face and cool down.
“Yeah. It’s like he doesn’t understand that you’re the lead on this. I don’t know why he has to keep pushing,” the other says, walking over to the paper towel dispenser and pulling the lever.
“I don’t--- oh, thanks.” You recognize the crinkle of brown, rough paper. “I just don’t know if I can make it through the rest of this stupid lunch, let alone this entire project timeline.”
“OK, so the presentation is when?”
“The 21st.”
“Alright, and today’s the 10th. Mark down the calendar dates as you go, and give yourself a little treat each day for making it through.”
“Like an adventure calendar?”
“A… a what?”
“An adventure calendar? Like at Christmas?”
“You mean an advent calendar?”
“Isn’t that… what… it’s… short… for --- oh my god am I stupid?”
“Advent is, like, a designated time, or something, in the church calendar. Why did you think it was short for ‘adventure’?”
“Like, each new day brought you a new chocolate… so it’s like a little adventure?”
You bite your lip, holding in your fond laughter.
“Oh my god! That’s so adorable!”
“I’m stupid!!”
“No, I love it! That’s so precious!! Fuck, I’m making an adventure for you for this project.”
The two women laugh and leave the restroom, and though that hilarious and adorable explanation is still ringing off the tiles, something else they’ve said has stuck.
Today is the 10th.
You pull out your phone to double-check.
And then you look down at your perfectly clean underwear.
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You rush home, setting your purchases on the coffee table, running around with some additional food that you bought at lunch before saying goodbye to the twins.
You pull two wine glasses and a bottle of red and set those down as well.
And when Jimin returns from work, he finds you sitting on the couch, with dinner prepared, wine goblets full, and a single, unlit candle stuck in a slice of chocolate-cherry cake. 
“Ooh, what’s all this?” Jimin cooes excitedly, kicking off his shoes and hurrying to join you.
“Today is the 10th,” you say, grinning.
“And?” Jimin laughs. Suddenly, he looks terrified. “Wait, what celebration have I forgotten? It’s not either of our birthdays. And it’s not our friendiversary---”
You smile excitedly and take his hands in yours. 
“I’m a week late.”
Jimin’s eyes widen. “You… you are?”
You nod. “I wasn’t even tracking it. I just---” You start laughing. “I didn’t even realize until I had lunch with the twins today.”
You reach down for a pregnancy test. Just one.
“I haven’t taken it yet, but---”
“Well, let’s go upstairs!!” Jimin exclaims, jumping to his feet and making you laugh. He looks down at the table you’ve prepared. “Unless you want to eat first? Wait, why the spread if you haven’t taken it yet?”
“I told myself that if the test comes back negative, we take this candle out of the cake, and we eat and drink out of remorse. But if the test comes back positive…”
You smile.
“I don’t know. Maybe we have a little celebration.” You click your tongue. “And you get to drink my wine. Damn.”
Jimin softens at your excited face. How badly he wants that test to be positive. He would give up his life to make that happen. And not just for your serving of wine.
“OK then,” Jimin says. 
He holds out his hand, and you take it in yours as you stand. 
His free hand reaches down for the chocolate-cherry cake, and your free hand clutches the pregnancy test.
You follow him upstairs to the bathroom, a room that means something so different, so much more to you both now.
Jimin sets the cake down on the hallway table as you take the test, and after you’ve washed up, you sit in your usual spots, eyes happily settled on each other. This wait feels so much better than the others. Not a worry has crossed your mind. 
But when your phone timer goes off, your heart pounds uncontrollably.
Almost every time you’ve taken and checked a pregnancy test, the outcome has always been the opposite of what you wanted. 
“Well?” Jimin asks, confused when you don’t immediately check the test.
“C-could you look at it?” you ask nervously. “I… I just… I dunno. I’d like you to check it.”
“Are you sure?” Jimin’s eyes scrunch up a bit. “Don’t you want to be the first to… y’know? Know?”
“I guess I just feel like --- and I feel silly for even thinking this,” you explain, blood pressure rising, “but I feel really good, and I feel like if I check the test, I’ll jinx it.”
“Oh, Red.” 
Jimin crawls over to you and pecks you on the cheek.
“I’ll check the test if that’s what you really want. But you’re no jinx. You’re an angel.”
You sigh and smile at him. “Well, thanks. But I still want you to check it.”
He stands, but he keeps his eyes on you.
“Ready?” he asks.
You nod.
Jimin turns and reads the test. And then, he looks back down at you with a neutral expression. 
“Well?” you squeak.
Jimin disappears into the hallway to get the cake.
When he comes back, there are tears in his eyes, two forks in his hand.
And the candle is lit.
“Oh,” you sigh softly, your eyes glistening.
Jimin sits on the floor next to you instead of in his usual spot across from you. 
“You did it, Red.”
“We did it,” you correct him.
He holds the cake out for you, and you blow the candle out.
Suddenly, you shriek and laugh. “Oh my god, we really did it??”
Jimin hands you the cake before pulling the pregnancy test down from the sink. He shows it to you, the word PREGNANT bold and striking.
He switches the cake for the pregnancy test, and you hold it in your hands as if it is your baby.
“Jimin,” you cry, “Jimin. Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he says softly. He leans forward and kisses your lips. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it.”
“I didn’t know if it would be possible,” you say. “Last time was so…” 
You try to catch your breath, and Jimin tries to lighten things again by cutting a piece of cake and feeding it to you, little bits of chocolate and cherry flying out of your mouths as you sloppily eat together, laughing and squealing about your baby.
Your baby.
And then Jimin gets that same look on his face. The one that’s currently on newsstands and online, wherever Stella’s new line is being promoted or sold. The look that is equally soft and sultry, fueled by the wonder that is you.
He leans forward, and you share a chocolate-cherry kiss sweeter and fuller than you’ve ever had. 
Jimin pulls away quickly, concerned. “Is it… um… would it be OK if we---”
“It’ll be fine,” you purr, reaching for his shirt and pulling him into you again, “it’s safe.”
Jimin nods. “A-and you want to?”
You smile. “There’s nothing else I want to do right now than be with you.”
He wipes tears away from your eyes and kisses you again. Then again. Hungrier. More forceful.
“C’mon,” he says, grinning and getting on his knees.
The two of you stand, and you kiss each other as you navigate through the bathroom, Jimin’s insistent tugging distracting you from watching where you’re going as you accidentally step on the cake and laugh, tracking bits of cake down the hall and into your bedroom.
Suddenly, you’re in his arms, and he’s placing you on your bed.
“Amazing,” he whispers, both of you throwing your clothes off and latching back to each other. “This is amazing. Red, you’re amazing.”
 He nestles into your neck and grunts happily with each kiss that he places on your skin. 
“No. Jimin, you’re amazing. So patient with me. So willing to give.”
He sits up and looks into your eyes. “You feel this?”
He places your hand on his heart, going a million miles a minute.
“I do.”
He places his hand on yours and grins. “It’s crazy, right? This feeling?”
You sigh. “Insane.”
And then he sinks into you, his perfect lips drawing yours together into pout after pout, whines coming out of you as he imbues each pout with more meaning, more affection.
More love.
His hands take yours and slide them above your head. “Don’t move,” he tells you. “Don’t do a thing. Just relax and enjoy this. Let me worship you.”
You smile, feeling ridiculous at these words, and just about to question them, when Jimin places his tongue between your breasts, licking the dip there in your chest before circling around each areola, and taking in each nipple for a taste.
Moaning, you battle your eyelids to stay open, wanting to see how Jimin licks down your center, dipping into your belly button, and sliding down to your pussy. He tastes your flesh as he places his hands on the backs of your thighs. He lifts your legs straight up into the air, and he giggles at the sight of cake between your toes.
“That’s your fault!” you defend.
Jimin smirks. “Well, arguably, all of this is my fault.”
You bite your lip, and Jimin travels up your thigh, circles your knee, caresses your calf, and cleans your toes with his tongue. “Mmm,” he moans, before turning to you and opening his eyes, his eyebrows shooting up just once to accentuate that playful grin.
You want to make a joke about how he should take that look to work with him any time he needs to appear sultry. But you stop yourself, knowing that this look is for you, and only you.
He crawls back down to your mound and arranges your thighs to swing over his shoulders, your now clean feet resting on the swells of his muscular ass.
Pushing forward, Jimin presses his tongue into you, the hot, needy center of you, pulsing with new energy and new life. “So wet,” Jimin moans. “Like always. Good thing, too. I was getting thirsty after that cake.”
You laugh, and he hums into your folds, the buzzing and licking making your hips start to move slowly. Jimin follows you, never leaving you, following the pace you set, and bumping it up when he feels you’re ready for it. When your clit makes itself known, hungry for attention, tightening painfully, he starts to suck, loud smacks of his tongue and your clit quickly separating from his lips or the roof of his mouth under all the pressure he’s building for you, your body shaking throughout.
“You’re shivering,” Jimin notices.
“Just keep going,” you whine, fisting his hair.
He does, and he does more, his fingers thrusting in and out of your entrance. You had already started widening for him during all that foreplay; Jimin’s already three fingers deep into you, their pads stroking the top wall, pressing deep into the ridged spot that lies there.
A particularly good suck and stroke, and you’re sent flying, your heels unexpectedly digging into the dimples above Jimin’s ass and knocking his hips down, a grunt of pain shooting out of him.
“Fuck, I’m sorry!” you exclaim, out of breath, still mid-orgasm, and riding another building on top of this one, given how Jimin is still rubbing your pussy.
“It’s OK,” Jimin says. “I’m just so hard already, and when you did that, my cock---”
You come again, voice shaking now, legs splaying to keep from hurting Jimin again.
He pins both of your knees to the mattress, keeping you wide open as he returns for another course, slurping you up and moving his jaw up and down, shaking his head back and forth, looking up at you with eyebrows raised to make sure you’re enjoying yourself, his proficient tongue the only think latching you to reality.
“God, that was so fucking good, but your cock,” you whine, once you’re able to come down a little.
“I’m fine,” Jimin tells you.
“No,” you say, “I want it inside me.”
Jimin laughs. He kisses your pussy farewell, but only for a moment, given the way he’s dragging the tip of his already milky cock up your sheets and toward your entrance.
“We did it, Red,” Jimin reminds you, “so maybe for tonight… this one can be just for us.”
Your heart does a flip at the sound of that.
Nodding, smile growing bigger the deeper that phrase settles into your bones, you echo, “For us.”
Jimin slides into you, and you’re so slick and prepped that you’re able to take him with one, slightly strained stroke, your body just needing a few more seconds to adjust around him. He pants once he’s inside you, and you’re squeezing his forearms as the burn plays out. As soon as he feels the slightest drop in strength of your grip, he starts to pump into you, slowly.
A couple of strokes in, you whine, and Jimin knows you want more.
He starts to pump faster, watching you, studying you to make sure the corners of your mouth stay up.
When you start to smile, really smile, he knows you’re close.
“Can you hold on for me?” Jimin asks, kissing your shoulder. “I’m almost there.”
“Yes,” you moan, “together.”
You clench, and Jimin lets out a groan, stopping for a moment and letting his head hang forward, his sweat-drenched hair falling and sprinkling your chest.
You start to move your hips, but Jimin lends down and kisses your breasts. “Don’t move. Wanna take care of you.”
Staying tight for him, you watch as he fucks you, his body creating incredibly beautiful lines as he stretches and turns to hit you just right, taking extra care to make sure each movement is so fluid, every single one of his muscles on display as it works to coordinate each pump, each stroke, each slam of his hips into yours as he disappears inside.
“Coming,” you whine, your voice high.
“God,” Jimin whispers, “me too, come for me, so good, so hard.”
Your body shakes uncontrollably, something about the quick succession of all the orgasms Jimin has been giving you, piling up and intensifying as a result, the whole release more than the mere sum of its succulent parts.
And Jimin spills into you, crying out in response to your moans, staying inside you, wanting to burrow even deeper into you, collapsing on top of you and sighing happily, kissing you and growling as you both lie together, climbing down from that high.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, looking up at you from his place on your pillowy breasts.
You think about what Eun-kyung said about Chul reading her mind. And you remember what you told them at lunch. That the last few times you and Jimin have been together have been more than just intuitive. They’ve been revelatory. All this time jumping from bars to frat houses, and the best sex you’d ever have was with in your room your best friend.
“Why?” you ask, after sharing the thought with Jimin. “What are you thinking?”
“That we should’ve fucked in college,” Jimin says desperately. “We should have been fucking the entire time.” 
He looks at your stomach. “You hear that, baby? You must be enjoying yourself in there. It’s perfect, isn’t it?”
You cackle, smacking Jimin on the arm and falling into each other with laughter.
Just before you both drift off to sleep, Jimin crawls up to kiss you, sweet and happy.
“But I’m also thinking about how proud I am of you. How thrilled I am. And how much I love you.”
“Love you too,” you whisper, eyes closing, lips curling up into a smile.
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“Or yellow.”
“Maybe orange?” you ask.
Jimin smiles and nods, as you walk down the paint aisle of the hardware store. “Orange.”
“Still fits the gender neutral thing we’re going for, right? And I like that orange is a little different.”
Grabbing a light, faint orange swatch and holding it up to you, Jimin repeats, “Orange.”
You nod approvingly, adding the swatch to your collection.
You turn around, and your surprised eyes land on someone who’s a little more clean-cut than when you saw him last, hair cut short and in a respectable, casual suit. But that youthful face still has that charming smile, his eyes wide at the happy coincidence.
He strides over to you and laughs. “Wow, I--- Oh, hey, Jimin! This is--- I---”
Jungkook isn’t sure what to address first. How much time has passed. That both of you are here, together. Or that your more than noticeable round baby bump is protruding toward him.
“Hi,” you say warmly.
You feel Jimin stiffen, but he eases when you wrap an arm around his waist and nestle into him.
“Good to see you,” you add, resting your head on Jimin’s shoulder.
“Yeah,” Jimin says, relaxing, “been a long time.”
“Right?” Jungkook makes more sputtering noises as he takes in the sight of you two. “So are you… is this…” 
Jungkook shrugs and just decides to go for it.
“Are you two having a baby?”
You smile excitedly. “Yeah. It’s kind of a long story, but, well…” You and Jimin share a warm, loving look. “Yes, we are.”
“I’ve gotta hear this story.” Jungkook licks his lips. “I saw that there was a smoothie place next door,” he says quickly. “Can you spare half an hour? Catch me up?”
“Sure,” Jimin says, as you look at him to confirm. “It’s our day off. Just browsing while running some errands.”
“Perfect!” Jungkook exclaims. “I was just here for--- Just popped in for---” He holds up a small sewing kit. “Let me go pay and we can walk over?”
You and Jimin wait outside and watch him through the storefront window.
“God. Look at him.”
Jungkook pulls loose change out of his pockets, dropping some coins, and then bending down to pick them up.
You tilt your head to take in that perfect ass, still glorious after all this time.
“Really?” Jimin laughs softly.
“What?” you laugh.
He rolls his eyes. “I’ll just… I’ll never understand it.”
Jungkook joins you outside, and the three of you get a small table on the patio.
“I’ll get our drinks,” Jungkook replies. “Have you been to this place before? I really like their chocolate-banana, but the mixed berry smoothie and the peanut butter cookie smoothie are good, too.”
“I’ve been to one of these,” you say. “Can I get a chocolate-banana with almonds thrown in?”
“Sure thing,” Jungkook says excitedly. “Two of those, one with almonds. Jimin?”
“Peanut butter cookie,” Jimin answers. He turns to you. “That was second on your list, wasn’t it?”
You smirk. 
“Coming right up,” Jungkook says, grinning.
He falls into the short line at the window, and you nestle into Jimin’s embrace.
“Careful now,” Jimin comments, “more of this lovey-dovey shit and he’s gonna think you’re taken.”
“Oh, I’m taken,” you say, rubbing your belly, “by this little critter right here.”
You enjoy being off your feet for a little bit and take in the scene around you. The two of you drove out here on a whim, but the suburbs don’t seem so bad to you, anymore. It’s charming to see all the families around, kids biking, parents chatting. Even the hardware store you visited is picturesque, the family who owns it seeming to be a stalwart of the neighborhood. You like how everyone just seems to belong.
Everyone except Jungkook, who returns in his flashy, tailored suit.
He sets the smoothies down, and you start to catch up.
“What are you doing in town?” you ask. “A game?”
“I’m actually just passing through,” Jungkook says, making the coincidence all the more surprising. “Wanted to see my old coaches and check out the new gym on campus. And on my drive back to the airport, I noticed this thread.” He holds up his sleeve. “Didn’t want to rip it, so I just pulled over to find a drugstore or something. Saw this hardware store and found a small sewing kit with scissors.”
“It’s an expensive suit,” Jimin comments. “Gorgeous, too. The button style makes me think it’s a Cecilia piece?”
“Oh, god, no, this is just a knock-off,” Jungkook laughs. “I’m not a model like you. I don’t have that much money.”
Jimin blushes, and you lean forward, excited that Jungkook is in the know.
“So you’ve seen Jimin’s ads??” you ask eagerly.
“Red,” Jimin warns.
“Yeah!” Jungkook exclaims excitedly. “Seen ‘em on buses, in airports, on TV. Really awesome work!”
“Well, thanks, but it’s not like I can afford Cecilia either,” Jimin says. “I just model the clothes. I don’t buy them.”
“Do you still work at that restaurant downtown?” Jungkook asks. “The dean took us there last night. I saw Kim Taehyung.”
“Yep,” Jimin replies. “He doesn’t live at the house anymore, but we see each other almost every day.”
“Tae mentioned the twins, too. Seems like you all stayed pretty close,” Jungkook remarks. 
As you chat more, you remark that Jungkook and his team have been doing an amazing job getting more of a spotlight on professional lacrosse, and Jungkook shares that he also works as a project manager in the off season to keep a steady flow of income. Jimin talks about his upcoming trip to Paris for a show, yet another stepping stone to Florilège. And you hug your stomach happily as you explain what happened since you last saw Jungkook all those years ago.
“The morning after, when Jimin picked me up from your place,” you explain. “The reason I was so sick was because I was pregnant.”
“Ohh,” Jungkook replies. “Morning sickness? Yeah, you were pretty nauseated. And I don’t remember you drinking much?” He giggles. “So this is your second baby? Third?”
“Well,” you say, Jimin squeezing your hand as you share, “that first pregnancy didn’t work out. I ended up losing the baby. But that’s why I, uh…” You glance at Jimin. “Why I was so skittish at the convenience store, when we ran into each other. I had just found out I was pregnant.”
Jungkook immediately breaks open, huge tears threatening to fall from his empathic eyes.
“It’s OK. It happens,” you say, looking at Jimin fondly, echoing his words. “Couldn’t have avoided it. And, to be honest, it probably worked out for the best.” You smile. “Because I realized I wanted this.” You turn to Jimin. “And I wanted it with him.”
Though he sounds thrilled, you still catch a wistful note of regret in Jungkook’s voice. “Well, that’s just amazing. I’m so happy for you! I kind of always guessed you two had a deeper connection.” He smiles at Jimin. “You took such good care of her that morning. And you both seem so comfortable with each other. Like, you just are. You being married now makes so much sense.”
“Oh, we’re not married,” you say. “And we’re not in a relationship.”
“Just having a baby,” Jimin laughs, pulling a face.
Jungkook looks at you quizzically. “Wait, so… you aren’t together?”
You and Jimin exchange glances. “No,” you say, when Jimin doesn’t say it.
“So I can still hope for that phone call?” Jungkook asks, grinning at you.
You laugh, and sigh, and roll your eyes. “Jeon Jungkook has better things to do than hit on a pregnant woman.”
“Pregnant or not, I’ll always have a soft spot for you,” Jungkook says with a wink. He devours the rest of his smoothie and sits upright. “Well, I should go.”
“We didn’t make you late for your flight, did we?” you ask.
“No, I’ve still got a few hours. But I’m traveling with teammates. Wanna make sure everyone’s OK.”
“Thanks for the smoothies,” Jimin replies.
“Thanks for catching up,” Jungkook says. “My number’s the same. Keep in touch. Send me some baby photos!” 
He stands and shakes Jimin’s hand, but he pulls you into a hug. 
“Wow. You even smell the same,” he tells you, giving you a peck on the cheek. And then he looks at you to make sure it’s OK for him to place a hand on your belly.
“Go ahead,” you say warmly.
He does so, and he beams. “Hi---” He looks at you. “What’s the name?”
“No name yet,” Jimin says, sharing a knowing glance with you. All those playful fights. All the lists that only get deleted. But you’re both confident that when the time comes, the perfect name will surface.
“Well, hi baby,” Jungkook replies, his hand nestling into your bump. “I’m an old friend of your mom and dad’s. And let me tell you. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
You and Jimin exchange fond looks, and, with his arm now around your waist, Jimin gives your thigh a soft grab.
“Travel safely!” you tell Jungkook, as he waves goodbye and hops into his car. 
And like the vision he always was, Jeon Jungkook follows the night, ephemeral but meaningful and memorable, all the same.
You and Jimin head home, too, sipping on your smoothies on the drive home.
You can no longer help unpack everything from the car, but you do your best to bring smaller items into the kitchen. And when everything’s inside, you help by sorting the groceries while seated at the table, as Jimin puts everything away. 
“Those smoothies were good.”
“Yeah. There’s a location by Eun-jung’s office, and we’ve gone there before for lunch or whatever. The strawberry-kiwi one is good too.”
“Not good enough to make Jeon Jungkook’s list, though.”
You smile at Jimin’s competitive streak.
“So, what did he mean?” Jimin asks, trying his best to be nonchalant. “Something, I dunno, about some kind of phone call, or something?”
“Or something?” you tease, making Jimin frown. “It wasn’t anything. We ran into each other a little while after I found out I was pregnant, and I think he was wanting to ask me on a date,” you say, a little starry-eyed.
Jimin seems to be a little jealous, as he is whenever anybody steals the spotlight that you tend to shine only on him, but he can’t help gushing at how cute you look when talking about Jungkook.
“You’re head-over-heels for that guy. Why didn’t you take him up on it?” Jimin asks.
“I was still sorting my emotions out,” you say. “And I wasn’t head-over-heels. I was into him, but not in any particular way.” 
You sigh. 
“I also didn’t want to start something with someone if I decided to be a parent.”
Jimin nods. “So… you’re kind of against relationships right now, then?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. It seems like you aren’t particularly interested in dating at the moment?”
“I’m not not wanting to date. But I have a lot on my plate right now,” you say, poking at your belly and making Jimin laugh. “And who wants to date a pregnant woman?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “That Jungkook said he’s got a soft spot for you regardless.”
“Ah, well, the only soft spot I’m concerned about at the moment is the one that’s going to be in our baby’s head.” 
You look up at Jimin softly. 
“Besides… This is nice, right?”
Jimin smiles happily. “Yes. This is really, really nice.”
You share a smile. 
But then, Jimin seems like he wants to say something.
You want to give him an out, just in case he’s feeling uncomfortable.
“And,” you say quickly, “when this part is over, and we’re able to have personal lives again, who knows? Maybe I’ll reach out to Jungkook then. Or whoever else.”
This is the most that either of you have talked about dating as of late, a vast change from the weekly, sometimes daily debriefs that you used to do with him and the rest of your old gang. And though the topic of dating doesn’t seem to be a big deal, it’s interestingly always awkward to discuss with Jimin now. You’re thankful that planning the baby’s room and casually murdering each other over the baby’s name are entertainment enough for you both. 
Jimin nods. “When this part is over.” He takes a breath. “All things in due time.”
“Hah! Due time,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “Good one.”
Jimin smiles, his lips thin. “Alright. Well. I’m a little tuckered out.” He raises his eyebrows. “Do you need anything? Massage? Your left leg’s been bothering you again. I can tell by how you’ve been walking and leaning on me.”
“Oh, I’m OK,” you say, heart warming at Jimin’s thoughtfulness, though that wasn’t necessarily the only reason you were leaning on him. “Go rest. Don’t let me keep you.”
“You sure you’re gonna be OK while I’m gone?” Jimin asks.
“I can handle an evening on my own.”
“No, Red,” Jimin sighs. “I leave for Paris this weekend. Remember? You were just bragging about it to Jungkook. My flight’s tomorrow at the ass crack of dawn.”
“Right!” you exclaim. “I’m sorry. Pregnancy brain. I keep thinking a week behind. Of course.”
Jimin looks at you gently. “Say the word and I can pull out.”
“Well. If you had done that, we wouldn’t be here.”
Jimin rolls his eyes and groans loudly. “I’m being serious!” 
“Me too,” you say, chuckling. “I’m gonna be fine. Like I said. The twins are gonna check in on me. Tae’s a phone call away, and if he’s still OK with driving you to and picking you up from the airport, then everything’s good.”
Jimin’s eyes linger, but you’re not really sure why.
“Hey.” You stand and walk over to him. “Is it the show? Is that what you’re worried about?”
Jimin raises his eyebrows. “Well, yes, but I---”
“Because you know you’re going to be amazing, right?” you ask. “You know that you’re going to blow them all away, and you’re going to get the Florilège gig the minute they see what you can do.”
He grins and pulls you into him. “Wow. That was nice. Say more nice things about me.”
You laugh. “And you’re smoking hot, absolutely unique, terrifyingly gorgeous, everything always looks perfect on you, you can pull off any color or style, uh, you never had bad morning breath somehow, and your hands are never clammy when I reach for you, and---”
“Ventured out of professional territory, but it’s appreciated all the same,” Jimin laughs.
“Did it help?” you ask.
Jimin shrugs and kisses your forehead. “I was going to say that I think I’m more nervous about being away from you when you’re so close to popping.”
“Don’t say popping,” you say, frowning, holding reverence for the precise delivery room procedure. “It takes a whole team, and tools, and---”
“I’m sorry. You know what I mean.”
“And that part I’m not worried about,” you say. You want to reassure him. You want him not to worry about you while he’s gone. “We’ll manage, however it happens. And I’ll be just fine even if you’re not here.” You grin. “I just want you to be good.”
Jimin nods slowly. “Good. Yes. I’m good.”
“Ooh,” you say, all this talk of the trip, and dating, and wanting Jimin to relax, sparking an idea. “What if you meet some super hot French model? You know. A Brigitte Bardot type.” You smile. “You’ll get to fuck someone who isn’t the size of one of Jungkook’s teammates.”
Jimin just laughs. But then his eyes fall to the ground, and all you can do is smile uncomfortably in the silence that follows.
“Alright. Well, if that’s all.” 
Jimin detaches from you and heads to his room.
You grab a few snacks and head upstairs, but that night doesn’t quite settle for you. Sometimes, you sleep wonderfully. But sometimes, you get cramps, or your feet ache, or your back hurts, or you have a hard time finding a comfortable sleeping position. And the only thing that helps you is having Jimin next to you. He’s been so giving of his time, his mind, his effort, and his body. You want him to be able to rest properly before this huge show, not wanting to disrupt his sleep, especially given the international travel, and even more so if you can’t proactively figure out what you might need from him to soothe you.
Hours later, you find yourself creeping down the steps and knocking at his door.
“Jimin?” you ask.
His voice is clear and strong, with no trace of sleep.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.”
You walk inside and find Jimin sitting upright in bed, scrolling through his phone.
“What’s up? Everything OK?” he asks.
You shrug. 
Jimin motions to the light switch by the door, and you flip off the lights before climbing into bed with him. He sets his cracked phone down on the nightstand, and you curl into each others’ arms.
You both finally seem to relax once your bodies are intertwined.
“You couldn’t sleep either?” you ask, closing your eyes.
“No,” Jimin says, closing his eyes, too. 
“You said you were tuckered out.”
“I am.”
“Still anxious?”
“Just had a bit of a busy mind, is all.”
You take a breath, your body starting to feel warm and heavy.
“I wanted to say one more thing. Before you go. You should know.”
“Our baby,” you whisper. “Our baby kicks like crazy whenever I even think about your trip.”
You reach for Jimin’s hand and place it on your belly. It doesn’t happen when you imagine Paris, with its cultural landmarks or fashionable reputation. But when you think about how you’ll feel with Jimin so far away, how alone and scary the world will be while you’re like this and without him there, your heart fills with dread. You don’t know what pregnancy looks like without Jimin right by your side. 
And then, your baby starts to breakdance like crazy inside of you.
“Whoa,” Jimin gasps, his hand pressing more firmly on your stomach in response. “Aw. Shh. Baby. It’s OK. I’ll be home before you know it.”
“I think our baby is just so excited and proud of you,” you tell Jimin, your voice starting to soften.
“Well, baby, I’m excited and proud too,” Jimin replies softly. 
“Gonna miss you,” you mumble. “So much.”
“Aw, I’ll miss you too, baby,” Jimin whispers.
“No,” you say, consciousness fading. “Me. I will.”
You’re barely awake, so you don’t notice, but Jimin goes rigid. And then he turns into you, carefully sliding his hand up your belly, up your arm, and to your chin. You feel his fingers trace your cheek.
“Oh, Red,” he whispers, moreso to himself, knowing that you’re dozing off. “You don’t even know.”
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You aren’t sure why charting is making you cry, but given how your week without Jimin has unfolded so far, you aren’t surprised.
As she rounds the corner and passes the nurse’s station, Marielle notices your sniffling, and she immediately sets down her supplies. 
“Hey, Mama, is everything OK?”
“Just hormones,” you say, shaking your head, though it helps a little to hear Marielle’s voice. “Been swinging like crazy lately.” You hold up the chart that you were checking. “This chart didn’t have AM or PM stated for the last dose. It’s a chart from the day shift, so I know they meant AM. But I just…” You whine. “I just lost it?”
Marielle nods. “The first one is a little tougher because you don’t know what to expect. When I was pregnant with my first, I once cried because my fridge light came on a millisecond too late.”
“Well, I feel stupid,” you mutter to yourself, wiping your eyes. “Why did I even decide to--- How did I---” You bury your head in your arms on your desk. “I can’t do this---”
Marielle leans on the counter and peers down at you. “Of course you can.”
You look back up at Marielle, fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. “What I meant was… I can’t do this without him.”
“Oh. Mama.”
Marielle looks around and sits down next to you.
“Are you still, y’know? Sticking to your arrangement?”
You nod. “Everything’s been going so well, but I hadn’t anticipated how hard it was going to be, doing this alone.” You shrug. “I know if I had just done it myself, I would be used to it by now. But without Jimin here, I feel like losing my mind.”
“It’s a hard thing to do even with an entire family around you,” Marielle empathizes. 
She pulls a couple of tissues from the box beside you and hands them to you. You look at her gratefully before wiping your tears. 
“You’re doing great, Mama,” Marielle replies, patting your shoulder. “When you’re in the middle of an emotional outburst like this, be kind to yourself. And remind yourself that this is just part of it.”
“This is just part of it,” you repeat. You think back to Jimin. How he once told you that things were just things that happened. That they didn’t mean nearly as much about you as you might’ve thought they did. That you’re not doing anything wrong. Things just happen.
Marielle smiles when you mull over her words and look just a little lighter.
“Didn’t think you’d have to coach me in life as well as in work,” you laugh sheepishly.
Marielle grins and arches an eyebrow as she stands, going back to what she was doing before this supportive little pit stop.
“Ah, but that’s mentorship enlightenment,” she replies, picking her supplies back up. “The best lessons are ones that apply to both.”
Marielle takes her leave, and you return to your work.
When the unit hits its midnight lull, your phone rings.
You had been dozing off a little, eyes blurry from the paperwork you were checking, but when you see that it’s Jimin calling, you pick up immediately, placing your earbuds in and uselessly checking your hair and face in the preview window before accepting his video chat.
“Hey,” you say, smiling into the camera. “Shit. You look amazing. Uh, sorry, I’m a little---” You gesture to the messy bun and messier visage. “I’m at work.”
Jimin beams back at you, propping his head up against what looks like the headboard in his glitzy hotel room. “You look beautiful, Red. And I’m so, so glad to see you.”
You know he’s just making you feel better. It’s hard to have any confidence in that department, especially with his look from the day still painted on. Strong blue liner with a tiny, matching gem pasted just under his eye. Hair perfectly styled and tousled. 
When you frown out of… Jealousy? Self-consciousness? Missing him? You don’t know why you frown, but when you do, he does too.
“Busy shift?” he asks. “What can I do?”
“I’m OK.” You force a smile. “Anyway, it’s quiet now. How was your day?”
“Had a great rehearsal,” he tells you excitedly. 
“Did that one director make a scene again?” you say protectively, furrowing your brow.
“No,” Jimin laughs. “God, Red, that was really cute.”
You smile genuinely now.
“It was all a misunderstanding, anyway. Sejin didn’t have the most updated information for the concept, and I was able to work it out on the fly. But by the end of the day today, everyone seemed happy and, well…”
He beams.
“I’m officially on the list for Florilège.”
You have to remind yourself that you’re at work before you squeal. 
“Jimin!” you whisper, the phone shaking in your excited grasp. “Florilège!!”
He laughs. “I know!”
“You did it,” you say proudly.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he tells you. “Remember the Stella shoot? Um, what you, uh… told me to think about?”
A mischievous grin pops up on your face.
Jimin mirrors it. “That’s the standout piece that really clinched it.”
“You haven’t even walked in the show you’re there for yet, and you’ve already booked Florilège,” you sigh. “There’s no stopping you.”
You feel a weight press onto your back when you say it.
Jimin’s expression tells you he might be feeling the same way.
“Yeah, well… Onto more important things,” he says. “How are you?”
You smile warmly. “Baby’s great. Healthy movement. Feeling good.”
“I’m glad the baby’s feeling good. But Red, notice that I asked how you are,” Jimin repeats, bringing the phone closer to him and making it feel like he’s leaning into you when he calls you out.
You chuckle. “I’m fine.” You raise your eyebrows, unable to hide everything. “Well, y’know… things have been a little taxing. But fine. Happy.”
Jimin smiles. “Not to worry. I’m on my way home to you soo---”
“But tell me more about Paris,” you insist, not wanting to trouble him. “What else have you---”
A flurry of voices interrupt your conversation, and you realize he’s in the lobby rather than his room. 
“Jimin!” a woman calls out. “Are you coming or not?”
“Be right there!” Jimin calls back.
“Don’t take too long!” another woman chimes in.
“Car’s pulling up in a few minutes!” a third woman adds.
More voices overlap, turning into a monstrous laugh.
Jimin laughs along and looks back at you. “OK, gotta go! A group of us are getting a drink or two to celebrate and unwind, and then---” He smiles off-screen at someone. “I said I’d be there in a second!!” His eyes linger on them for a moment as he finishes his response to you. “And then we’re heading back here early to sleep and prep for tomorrow.” 
He smiles even bigger and brings the phone closer to him again, to where all you see are his eyes and nose.
“You’re gonna watch the show, right?” He blinks. “You got the livestream link I sent?”
“Took the next three days off to make sure I could watch it, and to be home when you get back here,” you say, grinning. “Tae and the twins are even coming over to watch, like in college.”
“Sad I’ll have to miss that,” Jimin chuckles. 
“Well, I mean, you’re going to be in the show. And it seems like you’re having plenty of fun,” you remark, a little dejectedly.
“I know, but---”
“Jimin!” someone else calls, and Jimin jumps to his feet.
“OK, gotta go, but I’ll call you later, mwah!” he exclaims quickly, sending you a kiss before the screen goes dark.
As the call ends, and his profile picture returns, you smile sadly at the face that you selfishly, almost, almost wish had stayed home.
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Buying things shouldn’t be this hard. The list is short and simple. The store’s not far. And to be fair, Tae and the twins have insisted that they will bring everything that you need.
But you want to contribute and participate, too. You just didn’t account for the fact that your ankles are particularly swollen today, and you’re too self-conscious to nab the motorized cart to drive instead. So, here you are, straining with each step, attempting to shift some of your weight onto your cart but finding it hard to do so with your baby in the way.
“Almost home,” you sigh, rubbing your stomach. “Just cooperate with me. Please.”
Your baby has been dancing on your bladder. You don’t care if you leak. You’re wearing a diaper and two sets of underwear under your leggings anyway. You just wish it would stop.
And your mind can’t stop wondering about what Jimin’s doing to get ready. Did he get too drunk last night? And if he did, who helped him this morning? Sejin? Or was it one of the millions of models that went to get drinks with him? 
More importantly, how is he feeling? Is he nervous? Scared? He shouldn’t be. He’s about to rocket into fame, but he has the talent, and he’s paid his dues. Does he know that? Of course he knows that, but does he need reminding? Should you text him? But if you text him, will you be bothering him?
You finally find the popcorn --- why you nearly started crying when you didn’t find it and the champagne in the frozen pizza section, you chalk up to a mix of hormones and pregnancy brain --- and you race as fast as you feel comfortable racing to the checkout line.
When you get there, the cashier gives you a friendly smile and starts to scan all your things. 
“How are we doing today, Mom?” they ask.
“Doing well,” you say, hoping that keeping the talking to a minimum will speed everything up so that you can go home.
“You look well. Got that pregnancy glow,” they comment.
You know they mean well, but all you feel is pregnancy blows to your body.
The cashier finally takes the hint, but they can’t help quizzically holding up the champagne bottles and looking at you.
“Not for me,” you sigh. “For guests.”
The cashier nods and finishes bagging your things up.
Soon enough, you’re home, your second diaper threatening to leak, and you have just enough time to change before Taehyung comes in.
“Hey, Mommy!” he calls happily through the front door. “It’s Taehyung, by the way! I, uh, used my key because I---”
You waddle down the last few steps, and over to the door.
“Hi, baby!” Taehyung cooes, hugging your stomach before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I hope it’s OK that I opened the door, I figured you might have your hands full or---”
“Perfect,” you say, a little out of breath. “I was upstairs changing, so that worked out well.”
“I, uh, brought the guys, if that’s OK?” Taehyung asks. “I texted you before we left the restaurant from our breakfast shift, and---”
“Everything’s great,” you say, grinning. “I bought more treats once I got your text. Hey, guys!”
“You went to the store?” Taehyung asks, as Yoongi, Jin, and Hobi join you at the door, carrying trays of food with them.
“Aww,” you say, your eyes glistening as you see them all standing on your porch. “You… the food is…” 
“It’s more of that one dish we were experimenting with,” Jin explains, holding up his tray. “The one Jimin said you liked?”
Your chin quivers.
“You OK?” Yoongi asks quietly, as Jin and Hobi look on, horrified. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to---”
“No,” you cry helplessly, “it’s partially the hormones, but honestly? I’m so touched.” You sniffle. “I haven’t hosted people in a while, and I was afraid we wouldn’t have enough food, and I’ve just kind of been puttering around by myself, so…”
“Well, we’re not Jimin, but we’ll do our best to help,” Hobi says confidently, as Taehyung welcomes them all in and wraps an arm around your shoulders.
You follow them into the living room, and the guys shift between marveling at the spread you’ve already set up, as well as chiding you for working so hard.
“Really, Mommy?” Taehyung asks. “Decorations?”
He whips around to look at you in fear.
“Did you go shopping? We said we’d take care of the food, and Jimin said not to let you walk around because your ankles have been swelling so badly!”
“Drinks, too?” Hobi asks, staring at the champagne bottles and plastic glasses. “You really went all out.”
“Worked out well though, right?” you ask, wiping your tears.
“Like his ad,” Yoongi compliments, as you both take in the celebration you’ve planned, all the colors matching the ones in Jimin’s now-famous Stella photo.
Yoongi looks down at his tray. “So, where do you want all this?”
“Anywhere’s great, thank you,” you say gratefully. “And make yourselves comfortable! It’s a little messy, but---”
You catch a pair of Jimin’s boxers on the couch, no longer able to fit you, but that you kind of just keep lying around, like a safety blanket. “Sorry, I’ll---”
“Come sit, Mommy,” Taehyung replies, taking the boxers from you. “I’ll go put these in Jimin’s room.”
“Hello?” you hear Eun-jung call through the open door.
“In the living room!” Taehyung calls back, and for a moment, as you take your seat, you close your eyes and pretend it’s a decade earlier. Your roommates are coming home. The weekend is officially starting.
Smiling warmly, you welcome the twins and Chul from your spot on the couch, and everyone settles in to prepare for the show.
“He said he has three looks, but he kept warning me that he’d only be on screen for like, two seconds at a time,” you explain. “And that he isn’t totally sure about the camera angles, because part of that is done a little on the fly, but each model gets at least one good close-up.”
“Did you see his billboard on the drive over?” Hobi asks excitedly, pouring the champagne for everyone.
“Yes!” Eun-kyung exclaims. “They just put it up, maybe even last night, I think!” She turns to Chul. “We didn’t see it there on our way to visit your mom, did we?”
“No, that was new,” Chul agrees. “He looks great. Made me wanna buy one of those suits.”
“So is this also a Stella show?” Eun-jung asks.
“It’s supposed to be a showcase of a bunch of different designers, variations on three themes,” you say. You look up at the TV screen as music starts to play on the livestream welcome screen. “I wonder if he’s nervous. I’m so nervous for him.”
Taehyung smiles warmly at your expression. “I think he’s feeling just fine, knowing you’re here supporting him.”
“I mean, we all are, right?” you ask, your eyes glued to the screen.
Taehyung exchanges looks with everyone, smiling at Eun-jung next to him. 
“Yeah. Of course. He totally cares that we’re all here.”
You aren’t sure why Eun-jung snort-laughs softly, but with the show starting, her laugh floats in one ear, and out the other.
The show starts with a musical performance from some French rapper you haven’t heard of before, but whose music you really like, filled with great bass lines and electronic accents. 
And then models start to walk. 
This first round seems funky and fashion-forward, with all sorts of props and bright colors dotting the stage.
You nearly fall out of your seat when Jimin appears.
“Oh my god, there he is!” Eun-kyung exclaims.
You all watch with wide, excited eyes as Jimin struts fiercely down a catwalk, his now-blonde hair sticking up all over the place, wearing a bright yellow poncho with black and gold squares peppered in, sitting over gold-outlined but transparent shorts, which are over a pair of yellow boxer-briefs, the poncho covering anything to scintillating for public viewing.
“He’s blonde now?!” Hobi exclaims.
“He wasn’t yesterday!” you say.
“How is he pulling that poncho-thing off?” Eun-jung sighs.
“If I wore that, I’d look like Big Bird,” Jin agrees. “It’s so yellow.”
“Do you see the inspiration, though?” Yoongi, ever the sophisticate, asks. “Klimt’s The Kiss, maybe?”
“That makes sense,” Eun-kyung replies. “The model before him had all those balloon lips stuck to her.”
“And the couple of models before them had on all those bold lipsticks,” Hobi says, as Yoongi nods wisely.
There’s another musical performance from a different artist, who you recognize, and whose music is a little more subdued, like an R&B bossa nova.
The next round of models look a little more glamorous, long gowns brushing the catwalk, everything screaming elegance and sophistication.
“Ooh, that’s more like it,” Eun-kyung says, leaning forward and getting more popcorn to shovel into her mouth.
“Great,” Chul sighs playfully, “what are you gonna make me buy for you now?”
“As if,” Eun-kyung cackles, popcorn bits flying. “These pieces are so expensive that they have their own insurance plans, pal.”
“Pal?” Chul asks, pulling a face for the rest of you and making you chuckle.
“I’d be so nervous handling something like that,” Taehyung admits, curling his fists next to his cheek. “I mean, I’ve already spilled popcorn butter all over my pants.”
“You’d probably do better than you think,” Eun-jung compliments, making Taehyung smile.
“I think I see him coming,” Jin points out. “I think he has a hat on!”
You look up, and Jimin is now dressed in a pinstriped black fedora and a beige trench coat clipped together at the collar with a gold chain. His sleeves hang off of him, and his slicked back hair makes him look so powerful. Mysterious, even.
When he reaches the end of the catwalk, he shifts his weight back onto his right leg, does some quick snap with his hand at his neck, and in one beautiful, flowing movement, much like a bullfighter’s cape, swings the trench coat around him and drapes it over his back, holding it in place with his finger, revealing a luxurious, black, silk, pinstriped suit, and black, leather mules. The lining of the trench coat is a glimmering silver, and it brilliantly catches the light as he turns it over, a genius move to show off the piece.
Interestingly, and unlike all the other models in suits, Jimin isn’t wearing a tux shirt underneath. You think of the Stella shoot. You ogle his chest once more, and your baby starts to kick.
“Goddamn,” Chul breathes.
“No kidding,” Hobi replies.
“He looks like a sexy detective,” Eun-jung laughs, sliding her head from side to side. “He just woke up in the middle of his slumber, and now he’s got a murder to solve!”
“Also, it’s somehow 1930, and he wears pajamas that look like his street clothes?” Jin adds, making everyone laugh.
Though it’s not a close-up, Jimin removes his hat, a curl of hair dangling by his eye, bows down a little, and then throws a wink and smirk to the camera before he twirls and heads back up the catwalk.
You all shriek like banshees at the wink, and Yoongi jumps up, holding his stomach and doubling over. 
“Oh my god, that fucking tease,” he laughs, collecting some of the empty plates and bowls that have piled up and taking them into the kitchen.
“Yoongi, you don’t have to do that!” you call out.
“It’s no problem.” Yoongi wiggles his butt as he walks and then turns to the group, shooting you all a wink, making you all cackle again.
A third musical performance takes place now, and the song oozes sensuality. The lighting changes to something a little more suggestive, soft and deep gem tones. And the song, which is also being sung in French, starts to turn into more of a collection of smutty whispers, moans, and grunts set to computer bleeps and blorps.
“What is this?” Yoongi asks, grimacing.
“Dunno,” Jin says, eyes wide with interest as he holds up his phone to record the song and add it to his library.
Taehyung leans over to read the title.
“Not my kind of thing,” Eun-jung shrugs, frowning.
Taehyung leans back, looking away. “Totally. Me neither.”
Models start to walk, and they’re wearing more experimental gear now. Leather. Straps. Silver buckles and studs. This theme is playing more with the human form. You’re starting to see more and more skin as time goes on, and you have the absurd thought that Jimin, who might be last, might end up being completely totally naked, if things keep escalating at this rate.
Not that you’re complaining.
“Oh god, what world are we about to enter?” Eun-kyung wonders under her breath.
“Very BDSM-y,” Chul says.
Eun-kyung’s eyes brighten with surprise as she turns to Chul. “Oh yeah? And what do you know about BDSM?”
Chul just smiles, and Eun-kyung chuckles pleasantly as she nestles into him. “Maybe that’s what I’ll get you to buy next,” she teases.
“They all look like gorgeous warriors,” Hobi remarks, unblinking. “Those girls. Those guys. Fuck. I bet Jimin’s buried under all sorts of juicy c---”
Taehyung elbows him hard in the gut.
“We’re not in the kitchen right now, Hobi,” Jin says through grit teeth. 
“He probably is though,” you agree, somewhat sadly. “Buried under all sorts of juicy whatevers. I’d be surprised if he came home at all.”
“Well, he is coming home,” Taehyung says strongly. Dutifully. “And I’m picking him up bright and early and bringing him straight to you.”
You smile at Taehyung, feeling so comforted and reassured.
“Is that what you’re bringing home, then?” Jin asks, eyes enormous.
You all look back at the screen, and Jimin is wearing nothing on top but a harness. 
A black, leather harness, two straps that circle his arms, and one strap that clips across his bare chest, silver buckles gleaming under the lights. He’s also in tight, black pants that, at first, don’t seem all that different from the ones Taehyung has just spilled butter on. But when the crowd is plunged into darkness, splashes of neon start floating around, disorienting everybody other than the dedicated models who work to keep the illusion going. 
When the lights turn back on, Jimin is standing at the front of the catwalk, and he moves to place his thumb on his lip, like you’ve seen him do so many times. But when he actually drags it down, he doesn’t touch his lip at all. He travels just under his lip, onto his chin, and down onto his chest, and even further down, tracing the line down his abs, everyone knows they’ve just seen him do something uniquely phenomenal. 
“Holy shit!” Eun-kyung cries, nearly tearing out her hair as everybody explodes into squeals, screams, and laughter.
Jimin smiles cheekily as if he can hear you, his close-up easily the best one of the night.
“That was incredible!” Hobi screams at the screen, clapping his hands so loud that they boom like thunder. “I can’t--- I’m--- I’m speechless!!”
“What the actual fuck?” Jin cackles. “We had a world-class supermodel waiting tables at our stupid restaurant this entire time!” He guffaws. “Some kid spit up on him last week! And now he’s doing this shit?!”
“Always knew he could do it, though,” Yoongi replies, smirking.
“He’s such a natural,” Chul replies.
“It’s just in his blood,” Eun-jung agrees.
“I mean, can you see him doing literally anything else?” Eun-kyung asks.
With proud, happy, and terrified tears in your eyes, and the continued mind-blown whoops and hollers of your dearest friends blanketing you, you realize that you can’t.
You can’t see him doing literally anything else.
Definitely not cleaning up spit-up from a harness, or a suit that has its own insurance plan.
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You don’t remember falling asleep. You remember Yoongi, Hobi, and Jin helping clean up for you. You remember Taehyung putting your laptop and cables upstairs before spending the night and driving to the airport. You remember Eun-kyung and Eun-jung asking if you wanted company as you waited for Taehyung and Jimin to get home. And you remember Chul asking if you wanted him to drive you and the twins to the airport behind Taehyung’s car so that you could see Jimin as soon as he landed.
But you ended up falling asleep on the couch, the house clean, the beds made, and the dishes done.
Feet propped up on the pillows to drain the liquid from your swollen ankles.
Clothes draped over your tired, scarred body.
This is what your new life will look like. Jimin will be globetrotting, barely home, if he continues to call this place home at all. Given how successful his show was, and how much crazier Florilège will be, you’re preparing for the first time in your life that Jimin’s best case scenario equals your worst. 
Every now and then, you wake up. But you lie still. And you talk to yourself when you feel the baby starting to kick.
You feel dumb for not talking yourself through this before the day he’d arrive, but you need to prepare. 
There’s no reason to cry. And you hold no anger in your heart. You’re going to wish him well. You’re going to thank him for everything he’s done for you. Because, truth be told, it was everything you really needed from him. There was never a guarantee that he’d stick around long enough to live out that daydream you keep having, taking pictures on the shore. Hell, there was never a guarantee that he’d stick around long enough to actually paint the baby’s room orange.
It’s better this way. 
You both get to live out your dream. 
You hear the door open gently, and you stir in your sleep so much that you wake.
“Don’t get up.”
You turn and see Jimin standing there, wearing the same clothes he did when he left, just a pair of jeans and some white t-shirt. But he looks completely different. For one, he’s blonde, with some streaks of temporary color in his hair, purples and pinks. And second, he’s a famous celebrity that’s just returned from one of the fashion capitals of the world.
How or why he’s standing in your living room, you don’t know.
“Hey,” you whisper, starting to move.
“Just stay there.”
“Where’s Tae?”
“Already left.”
He smiles happily.
“God, it’s so, so good to see you.”
Even though you’d already made the plan not to in your head, and even though you’ve been through this with your baby over and over again in your little two-minute chats, you start to cry.
“Whoa, whoa,” Jimin says, “why---”
“I’m sorry! I’m just so… I’m so proud of you!”
Jimin laughs. “Aw, well---”
“And, if I’m being honest, I just… You looked so immaculate and perfect, and you’ve been working so hard, and ugh, I wish I could jump up and hug you, but I’m so tired, and in pain, and I-I can’t s-stop---” sniff! “---crying! And my ankles won’t go down, and I can’t rest on the cart at the grocery store, a-and I have s-stretch marks all over m-my stupid---” sniff, sniff! “---body!” you whine, tears as plump as your midsection rolling down the chubbiest cheeks you’ve ever had.
Jimin just smiles.
He gently pads toward you, setting his bag down on the floor and helping you sit up on the couch, before he kneels at your feet. He kisses them as you take big, heaving sobs.
As he runs his hands under the hem of your sweater, you let out tiny whimpers, breaths still jagged, eyes blurring and clearing as you blink the tears out of them. His delicate fingers slide up the slope of your belly, taking the fabric of your sweater with them, his lips chasing quickly after. 
“I dunno about stupid,” Jimin says thoughtfully. He smiles, and he almost looks proud. “I think they look like lightning bolts,” he says admiringly, tracing them. “It’s like, wow, the power you carry.”
When you hear him, see this, and feel his touch, you fall silent, unspeakably unable to look anywhere else.
“Hi baby,” he mumbles to your belly, happily, eyes bright.
You start to smile, and you take your first even breath in hours.
He presses his cheek against the left side of your stomach, and then moves to press his other cheek against the right, making a kissy noise at each soft touch.
“See that?” he asks excitedly, returning to his original position, his lips grazing your skin with each vowel. “How I’ve just greeted you? Well, there’s a story there. I was away for work. In France. It’s far. You’ll learn.”
The baby kicks, and Jimin feels it on his nose, making you both laugh. 
“But, y’know what? I missed you so much. Too much.”
You frown.
“The show seemed to go well, I think. I really couldn’t tell you, but lots of people were talking about it afterwards. And the week before it was nice. Sejin told me that we went to the Louvre at some point. I have a picture of me standing next to the Mona Lisa. And one of me at the palace at Versailles. Apparently, we ate dinner at the Eiffel Tower.”
You pay rapt attention as Jimin’s smirking eyes rise to meet yours.
“But honestly, I remember none of that.”
You raise your eyebrows. His words are soulful, and meaningful, but your heart is also aching. How could you, Blubbery, Irrational, Temperamental, Constipated, Haggard You so cruelly distract him from this amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience?
“All I remember is having coffee before the show, Sejin yammering on about something, and looking up at this photographer and stylist doing that, pressing their cheeks and kissing the air.” 
He giggles as he pokes his cheek, and then pokes the side of your belly.
“It looked weird, but also… I dunno… Kinda cool? Like, chic?”
You giggle too, sending your precious, plump baby bump thumping into his chin. And when it does, he presses a sweet kiss to you. 
“When I saw that, I asked Sejin about it, and he told me that they do that there. They call it, well, it’s the French word for ‘kiss’.” 
His lips form a prime Park Jimin™ pout. 
“Bisou-bisou,” you whisper softly to yourself, completely enchanted.
Jimin’s eyes glimmer at the sound of your voice. He bites his lower lip, and in that moment, you feel so incredibly adored.
“I couldn’t wait to come home and show you,” he says, talking to you now.
A soft breath, and then a smile, and suddenly, the weight, not just on your chest, but in your back, and your legs, and your arms, and your neck, down to your cracked bones, just… lifts.
Jimin stands, and then bends down over you, meeting your lips with his own, kissing you sweetly and happily. As his hands run up your arms, the kiss starts to shift into something else. It’s hungrier, maybe even a little impatient. His fingers twist into your hair, thumbs cradling your cheekbones, palms sliding behind your head and supporting you as you melt into his hold. He grunts softly as you run your hands up his stomach and chest, and you realize that you’re reaching for him so frantically that your nails are nearly digging new troughs in addition to the ones that already exist on his chiseled landscape, the ones he had dared to touch in front of millions of people, but only you can touch now. 
“Red!” he squeaks and laughs, pulling away from you with surprised eyes.
It’s jarring, hearing your name. 
“What?” Jimin asks, surprise turning into concern as he tries to understand why your brows are raised, your eyes are giant, and your lips are domed into a frown.
“It’s been a while since…” You raise your brows higher, the realization hitting you hard. Your hands hug your stomach, running over your precious bump. “I mean, whenever I go anywhere now, or see anyone, people just call me ‘Mom’ or ‘Mama’ or ‘Mommy’, or…”
It was something you hadn’t anticipated. You’ve been so busy thinking about your new identity as a mother. You hadn’t realized you might’ve had to process, and maybe even mourn, the loss of the things that made you you.
Jimin rests his head on your belly. 
“Red,” you chuckle. “Who even is that anymore?” 
“Do you need reminding?” Jimin asks.
You really shouldn’t have said anything. “Nah, I---”
“Because I can do that,” he says with a smirk. “If you’ll let me.”
Rolling your eyes, you hoist yourself up with your elbows and rest the small of your back against the back of the couch. “Whatever, Jimin.”
“I mean it.” He stands, and as his plan comes together, his lips blossom into an eager smile. “Let’s go get some sleep, and then tonight, let’s go get some dinner.” He smiles. “A fancy one. Find something naughty to wear. Something you’d wear to one of those parties we used to go to back in college.”
“Uh, hello,” you say, pointing to your stomach. “Nothing fits me.” 
“Then go naked. We’ll have a fancy dinner all the same.”
He holds his hand out to you. Too tired to argue, and too excited at the prospect of sleep, you follow him as he leads you into his bedroom. 
He laughs when he sees his boxer on the end of his bed.
“Did Taehyung put these away for me?”
“Whenever he did the laundry, he always used to set the folded clothes right in this spot,” Jimin says, reaching for the boxers to put them in his dresser.
“Wait,” you say softly, reaching for them.
Jimin laughs as you crumple them and hug them to your chest.
“I don’t know,” you pre-empt, “it just makes me feel better.”
Jimin shrugs. “OK.”
You climb into bed with Jimin, and you finally fall fast and fully asleep.
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There’s an echo of an R on the bottom right corner of Jimin’s windshield. No matter how hard he, or you, or anyone has scrubbed, nothing has gotten it to shift. But you kind of like that it’s so seemingly permanent. It’s a symbol of different times. A tribute to when you had it good. You still have it good, but back then was better in some ways. You felt more reckless, but more confident. More you. That R asks you to remember.
“I look like shit,” you complain as you stare at it.
“No, you don’t.”
“Please. I know you better than that.” You sigh, looking up at him from the passenger seat, unwilling to step out of the car and follow Jimn inside. “You never hesitate to tell me when I look like shit.”
“So don’t you think I’d say so now?”
“Liar. I look foul.”
“Let’s go look at Taehyung. It’ll make you feel better,” Jimin laughs, making you chuckle as he tugs on your hand. 
“Can we go somewhere else?” you ask. “Somewhere where the entire staff doesn’t know me?”
“C’mon. I can’t afford anywhere else.”
“You’re a supermodel now,” you tease. “You can.”
“A myth.” He grimaces. “You’ll find that out once the next car payment’s due.”
“Jimin, I’m really not up for a night out.”
“Yes, you are, or you wouldn’t have put on that dress and spent 20 minutes on perfecting your cat eye.”
You did do a good job on the cat eye, even though you’re rusty. And you actually really like the dress that Jimin arranged for Eun-jung and Eun-kyung to pick out for you and bring to the house. The soft, red fabric wraps around you delicately, and you’re actually quite comfortable, even as it shows off your now gigantic breasts. But it also reveals every single dip, hill, and fold that’s grown on you in the past 8 months. You feel so exposed. And you hate the label that professes its size.
Jimin, however, looks like he’s ready for a night out at all times. His new look is otherworldly voguish. He could wear a garbage bag to this restaurant, and everybody else would feel silly and stupid for not doing the same. 
“You look beautiful,” he tells you. “You are beautiful. In every size and shape. And I want to take you in this particular size and shape out for a fancy dinner, so let’s go.” He tugs on your arm again, the valet staring at you quizzically. “Up and at ‘em.”
“Why a fancy dinner, though?” you protest. “Why now?” Though sleeping the entire day in Jimin’s embrace has made you feel much better, you still feel slightly embarrassed for carrying on the way you did when he arrived. Especially after your friends had gone through so much trouble to ensure Jimin wouldn’t return to a mess. 
“I thought about what you said,” Jimin admits. “About this part being over soon.”
He shrugs.
“It’s special. I want to commemorate it.”
You remember hearing from someone, maybe an old friend, or a talk show host, or maybe a show or something that you used to watch, that they wish they knew they were in the good old days before they ended.
You grin a little at the faded R sticker. At the memory of when this would be Jimin picking you up from a fun date instead of taking you on a pity one.
“Alright. Fine.”
“Great.” Jimin grins and tugs at your arm. “You’ve been sitting here whining for fifteen minutes, and I don’t know if I can pay for more than two hours in that shitty hole they call a garage.”
You follow Jimin inside to see Taehyung wearing a clean uniform, his bellhop hat just slightly askew. He looks a little tired when you see him staring at the reservations, but when he sees you and Jimin entering, he straightens, and brightens. 
“You worked back-to-back shifts?” you ask, raising your eyebrows.
“Yeah, but I was able to rest after I picked Jiminie up from---”
Jimin clears his throat and glares at Taehyung.
Taehyung looks scared at first, but then he seems to realize something. He softens, smiles happily at you, and then looks serious. Almost snotty.
“Good evening and welcome. Do you have a reservation?”
“Oh, it’s under Park Jimin,” Jimin replies, also looking aloof.
You look back and forth between Jimin and Taehyung. “Uh, guys?”
“I don’t see it listed here,” Taehyung replies. “Could it be under a different name?”
Jimin furrows his brow and looks at Taehyung. “It shouldn’t be.”
“You’re welcome to have a look,” Taehyung says, turning the  computer screen around to show him.
There’s only one reservation, for Miss Red and Mr. BDSM Big Bird, Private Eye, Esquire.
You start laughing, and Jimin stomps his foot. “Tae!”
“Right this way, sir,” Taehyung replies, leading an annoyed Jimin and a heaving, cackling you toward a table right in the center of the room, the best seat in the house.
You look around at the new decorations. Exposed brick where ornate wallpaper was once set. New flowers, though those changed every time. Softer, more intimate lighting. And as Taehyung pulls your chair out for you, you notice the new chairs. Nice, padded seating, which you’re thankful for.
“Thanks, Tae-Tae,” you whisper, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down.
He blushes, and you sit and wiggle your toes in your red flip flops, the only non-nursing shoes that fit you right now.
Taehyung hands you your menus. “Please peruse, and I’ll be back to take your orders.”
You look around and smile at other people dining. Families. Couples. Some singles, one of them reading, and the other on a call as he eats a steak with his mouth open. 
You’d missed this. Regular life.
“What are we getting?” Jimin asks, calling your attention back to your menu.
“Uh, I dunno, whatever,” you say.
“C’mon, Red. Take a look.”
You shrug and look down at the menu. Most of the dishes are the same, but you notice one new addition. The dish that Jin and Yoongi were playing around with. IOr, at least, its description seems to fit. A mix of noodles, vegetables, and meat, in a citrus, soy sauce base, a side to a medium rare 8 or 10 oz. filet and your choice of chef’s salad or tomato soup.
Red’s Delight, it’s called.
You look up at Jimin, gobstopped. 
“They named it after me?” you whisper.
Jimin smiles coyly, not looking up at you, and staring at the menu instead. “You’ll have to ask the chefs,” he says simply.
You struggle not to cry. The cat eyes took you so long.
“May I get you some drinks?” Taehyung asks, when he returns. 
“Just water, for both of us,” Jimin replies.
“Are you sure?” Taehyung asks. “If you order our special, Red’s Delight, it pairs really nicely with vodka Red Bulls.” 
Taehyung winks at you, and you giggle.
“I think just water for both of us, and whatever special you have for the sushi, and the chef’s recommendations for the steak,” Jimin says. “We’ve had the Red’s Delight, and it’s delicious, but we’re here for a special occasion.” He looks at you and smiles. “Want anything else?”
“No, that sounds perfect,” you say, sighing. 
Taehyung whisks away your menus, and Jimin reaches for your hand on the table.
“What is all this?” you laugh, excited.
“Just a bit of fun.” Jimin looks at you softly. “I know it’s been hard. And I know my week away was tough.”
The words that have been sitting in your chest are aching to burst out of you.
“It was hard,” you say. “Harder than I… well, harder than I thought.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“I didn’t want to distract you, or make you worry.”
“I’m always going to be worried about you,” Jimin says. “Might as well be honest about it so that I don’t also worry about how hard you’re fighting it.”
You laugh. “Damn. You really do know when to tell me I look like shit, don’t you?”
Jimin grins.
“But we’ve been talking about me and the baby all day,” you reply. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Well, for starters, why didn’t you stay in Paris longer?” you ask. “The show was just yesterday. You must’ve left the moment it was over?”
Jimin shrugs. “I wanted to come home. The week wore me out.”
“You didn’t enjoy the sightseeing?”
“It was OK. But I missed you.”
You scoff. “You missed looking at this sobbing mess when you could’ve been buried under juicy cocks and cunts in the middle of a fashion show in Paris?”
Jimin laughs, a little spit coming out of his mouth at how off-guard you’ve caught him. He wipes the side of his mouth and shakes his head. “That sounds like Hobi.”
You smile and nod.
Jimin’s smile fades a little. “I’d hope you’d think more of me than that.”
“I didn’t mean anything by it,” you’re quick to say. “I just mean… well, that night… when you went to get drinks with that group…” 
“First of all, I’m not interested in any of those people, other than perhaps getting to know them professionally,” Jimin replies. “And second of all, the only thing that I could talk about that entire night was you and our baby. And we spent the entire time that we were out for drinks talking about names.”
“Baby names,” Jimin says.
You sigh and lean your head back, staring at the new chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
You close your eyes.
“Stop making me cry.”
Jimin laughs, and Taehyung returns with glasses of water.
“Your sushi chef should be out here soon to deliver your first plate,” Taehyung informs you, disappearing before you can ask more questions.
Your eyes land on Jimin, and he just smirks.
“I can’t believe you all,” you laugh, admittedly getting excited by what’s going to happen next.
Jin comes out, also in uniform, a short chef’s hat perched on his head, and a new apron tied at his waist. He looks like a model in his own right, as he coolly sets a platter of different kinds of luxurious bites in front of you.
“Fatty tuna, sea urchin, and yellowtail selections, plus our spicy dragon roll with avocado and salmon roe, and some fresh, blue point oysters, complete with wasabi and ginger,” he says.
The plating is beautiful, the fresh, decorative blue and purple orchid flowers popping against the ice cold, ivory slab for a plate.
“Jin,” you say, smiling. “This looks amazing.”
“Glad you like it, ma’am---”
He turns to you, and his eyes explode at the sight of your cleavage.
You scrunch up your face, trying not to laugh, and trying not to feel too flattered at Jimin frowning.
“Jin!” Jimin whispers. 
Jin swallows thickly.
“Uh, sorry, I have to go,” Jin replies, turning away, “I have a, um, sushi emergency.”
You grab his hand and pull him over to you, forcing him to lean down.
You plant a sweet kiss on his cheek, and Jin’s ears turn bright red.
“Thank you,” you say meaningfully.
Jin finally warms, grinning like he was in your living room just the day before. He wipes your lipstick from his cheek and blushes even more. 
“Enjoy it, Red. You deserve it.”
He scampers back to the kitchen while avoiding Jimin’s angry glare, and you dig into your food.
“So good,” you say, eyes lighting up.
“Yeah, Jin’s really found his calling,” Jimin replies, nodding along with you.
As you finish the platter, Hobi joins you, skipping a little too eagerly to your table, his eyes landing on your chest a little too quickly.
“Hey, how’s it goin’?” he asks, more to your breasts than to your face.
Jimin covers his eyes, embarrassed.
“Going well,” you laugh. “Everything is delicious.” You scoot your chair back a bit. “Look at how much I’ve eaten already.” You pat your belly in jest, and Hobi laughs softly.
“Well, it looks good on you,” Hobi says, his voice with a little too much of an edge. “Seriously, Red, I wanted to tell you yesterday, but, y’know, with all the crying--- Anyway, you’ve always been so gorgeous, but the way you look now, with all that m---”
“Can you just take the plates and go?” Jimin complains.
Hobi frowns. “But Jin and Taehyung got kisses.”
“Aw, I was going to give you a kiss, too!” you cheer.
Hobi excitedly kneels by your chair, and you give him a loud smack on his cheek, making him squeal and dance in his spot.
“Glad you’re enjoying your meal, Miss Red,” Hobi says, not bothering to wipe your lipstick off his cheek, proudly bringing his trophy, along with your plates, back to the kitchen.
“I’m so sorry,” Jimin whispers.
“Don’t be,” you say. “I’m having lots of fun.”
“Really?” Jimin points his thumb back to the swinging doors to the kitchen. “With these fucking idiots?”
“Yeah!” you exclaim. “I love those idiots.” And you smile again. “And I love you for planning this. Thank you.”
Soon, Yoongi joins you at your table, twin cuts of filet mignon cooked to perfection and decorated with asparagus, mushrooms, roasted brussel sprouts, and yukon mashed potatoes.
“Your steaks,” Yoongi says simply, his chef’s hat bobbling just a bit as he sets your plates down.
“Aw, thank you, Yoongi.”
You pucker your lips, tugging on his hand to bend down.
“No need,” he says, maintaining an air of professionalism.
“The other boys all got one,” you say in sing-song.
“Your empty plate will be complimentary enough.”
“If you say so.”
You send him a playful wink, just like the one he mimicked the previous day, and when you blow him a kiss instead, you make sure to give him a good peek at your bosom. 
Yoongi tightens, his entire face smiling, eyes squinched, nose bunched, lips adorably mashed, the apples of his cheeks shining, his shoulders nearly to his ears.
“Thank you, ma’am,” he says quickly, before rushing off to the kitchen.
“You really shouldn’t encourage them like that,” Jimin replies.
“Why not?” you ask, taking a stalk of asparagus and shoving it into your mouth. “I thought this was to commemorate this part being over? Our baby’s about to suck these bags dry.”
Jimin chuckles and mutters, “Not if I get in there first.”
“Oh my god!”
You share playful, giddy smiles with each other, and you dig into your main meal.
“What you said, though. About this being over soon.”
You nod. “Mmhmm?”
“Does it…” Jimin clears his throat. “Does it need to be over soon?”
“Well, in about a month, it will be.”
“Yeah, but… what if we continued this arrangement for longer?”
You aren’t exactly sure what he means. “If you aren’t ready to move out, I totally understand,” you say, eyes wide. “God, I didn’t mean to rush you.”
Jimin sets his fork and knife down. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Take all the time you need.”
“To move out?”
“Yeah. Y’know. You shrug. “I mean… aren’t you going to move into the city, or something? Or abroad? For work? Y’know… models live in lofts or whatever, right? Four or five crammed in a studio apartment, not really finding it worth it to pay rent if they’re jetsetting from hotel room to hotel room?”
The crinkle above Jimin’s nose relaxes once he realizes where your mind has gone. Maybe out of relief. Maybe he’s happy that he doesn’t have to be the one to say it.
“I don’t want to be the reason why you pass on a job, or can’t fly away at a moment’s notice,” you say, whipping your potatoes into peaks with your fork. “It’s probably best if you… if we…”
Jimin watches you, chewing silently, jaw clenching from more than just mashing up his food.
“If we tweak our plan a bit.”
Jimin says nothing else, and you finish eating in silence.
Taehyung returns, and he smiles at the two of you. 
“Are we ready for dessert?” 
“No dessert,” Jimin answers.
Taehyung looks confused. This clearly wasn’t part of whatever plan they had cooked up.
“Uh, Jimin, we already started---”
“Give it to someone else. Or eat it yourselves, after your shift,” he replies. He looks over at Taehyung. “Still my treat. We just don’t want it.”
“I might want it,” you say, pouting.
“Uh, shall I call the obnoxious bus boy to clear your plates?” Taehyung asks.
“Yes. We’re done. We’re going. Now.”
You look from Jimin to Taehyung, and, worried, you try to smooth things over with, “Thank you for this. And thank the rest of the guys for me. It really was the perfect night out. I’m just a bit tired.”
Taehyung nods. “Enjoy your night. It was a pleasure.” He smiles at you. “I’ll swing by to check in tomorrow, Mommy.”
You smile fondly at Taehyung.
When he leaves, you find Jimin still staring at you. 
He helps you out of your chair, but he still seems upset.
You waddle to the front of the restaurant, heave yourself into the car that the valet has brought around, and ride in more silence as Jimin drives you home.
“I’m gonna get ready for bed.”
Jimin places a hand on your shoulder before you head up the stairs. “Come to the kitchen first.”
You follow him, and he pulls out a chair for you at the table.
The silence engulfs you again, save for the sound of the fridge door opening, the champagne bottle turning upside down, and the sound of plastic champagne cups hitting wood.
Jimin sits down next to you.
“Cheers,” he says.
“Cheers.” You laugh at the tiny pour he’s given you, and the enormous one he’s given himself. “To what?”
“To us.”
“To you, you mean.”
“No, to us. We did amazing things together. So, cheers to us.”
Jimin holds his glass out to you, and you clink --- well, pat! --- your plastic cups together, taking your sip, and Jimin downing his in one go.
You both set your empty glasses down, and Jimin looks at you softly.
“You really do look beautiful, Red.”
“Never as beautiful as you.”
Jimin shakes his head and laughs. 
“Dessert kinda sounded nice,” you joke.
“It was going to be.”
“What was it?”
“Lavender crème brûlée. The guys whipped it up just for you.”
“We’ll have it another time.”
“Another time isn’t now!” 
It kills you to think about that perfect, silky, sweet custard, just sitting in a fridge. The guys eating it like savages at the end of the shift.
Jimin laughs at your expression. Though you’re silent, he can practically hear your whine.
“Were you mad?” you ask. “At the restaurant? When we left, I got the sense that you might be.”
“No. Not mad. Just determined to get you home.”
You furrow your brow. “Why? I was having a good time, I swear!”
“I know, and I’m happy. I just wanted to talk to you about something important.”
You brace. Here’s where all the plans are crafted. So, here’s where the unveiling of the tweaked plan takes place. 
“I’m OK with it. Really. Sejin’s right. You need to focus on your career. The showcase yesterday? That was just the beginning, and you were divine in it.”
It pains you to say it, the day dream of those family pictures with Jimin starting to fade, not unlike the R on Jimin’s windshield. It’s a shame that you never got to actually live those days before they left you.
“I don’t want to be in the way. This plan was never meant to be in the way of your talent and career. And I’m so thankful that even in the midst of all that, you’ve sacrificed this much just to leave me with this parting gift of sorts.”
Jimin just blinks. 
“Red, where are you getting all of this?”
“All of what?”
“These… these model myths?” Jimin says, pushing his empty champagne glass with his tiny pinky. He looks back at you. “I have no intention of moving out. Unless you want me gone.”
“I don’t,” you say. “But… really? You want to stay? Even with everything that’s happening for you?”
“Yes. And I know we were commemorating this time together, but I have every intention of sticking around for the next phase. For all the phases.”
You gawk at him. This wasn’t what you had expected. If you were sitting in his seat, you wouldn’t be saying these words right now.
Jimin takes your hands in his.
“I’m in this, with you, for the long haul,” he tells you. “That’s the last time that I want to say it, but I’ll say it over and over again for as long as it takes for you to hear it.”
You frown. “But…” 
You stand suddenly, shaking Jimin’s hands from yours and picking up the empty champagne glasses.
You take them to the sink to rinse them out, and Jimin follows.
“What?” he asks. “Why can’t you believe me?”
“It’s not that.”
“Yes, it is. I see it in your eyes. It’s like you just won’t believe me.”
He sighs.
“Did Sejin say something to you?”
You think back, to months ago, when you visited Jimin on set.
“In so many words,” you admit. “But he’s right.”
Jimin grunts. “Ignore him. There’s no right and wrong. There’s only a list of choices. A list that you and I said that we’d make together. And, if you ever actually bothered to check in with me, I’d tell you that my main priority is to be your---” He pauses. “To be a good father to this baby.”
“You will be,” you say softly.
“And that includes getting to watch you be an incredible, wonderful, perfect mother to this baby, too,” he says. “I want to be here. I will be here.”
You smile sadly. He’s so adamant. You know he believes it. 
But you still don’t.
“I don’t understand,” Jimin says, reading the look on your face. “Have I hurt you? Have I gone back on my word?”
“No, but---”
“Then what can I do?” Jimin asks. “What will it take to convince you?”
“I don’t know if it’s a matter of convincing me,” you explain. “I think it’s a matter of convincing you. That you’re this astounding new talent. Everyone’s gonna want a piece of you, and rightly so.”
“But I love you,” Jimin says.
“And I love you, too,” you say, “but sometimes there are things that are bigger.”
“Nothing is bigger than what we share.” 
“Maybe not now, but that’s only because your world was smaller until a week ago,” you point out.
“You are my world,” Jimin says. “Let me show you.”
He presses into you, your ass bumping against the counter, just in front of the sink. And then he kisses you.
It’s been a while since he’s kissed you. The last few months have been rife with almost-starts and nearly-theres, helping hands housing each other out in times of desperate need, the two of you choosing to lean on each other rather than outsiders because of the situation that you’re in. Besides, there’s a familiarity there, like the one Eun-kyung and Eun-jung were pointing out. 
At first, you think that that familiarity saves time. It gets you there faster, not having to explain every little thing that you like, or want, or need. It’s efficient to just know. And maybe the knowing feels different, too. It’s not just knowing what, or how, or when. It’s also knowing why.
Like now.
It’s not just that Jimin knows that you’ll be moaning for him in seconds by kissing you and placing his knee in front of you, just slightly grazing your already wet pussy. It’s also that he knows the reason why that gets you going is because your flesh is so much more responsive as of late, your body swollen and hungry for more. 
It’s not just that Jimin knows to massage your breasts rather than claw at your nipples like you usually like, even with how sensitive you are. It’s also that he knows that you want to be as gentle as possible with them for now, in anticipation of your baby breastfeeding and gumming them raw over the next few months.
And it’s not just that Jimin knows that the sink will work this time because of all of that oversensitivity and hunger. It’s also that he knows that the sink will work this time because you have a place to rest your heavy belly as he pounds into you, his cock slipping through your crevice, his eyes drinking in the way the red fabric of your skirt outlines your shapely ass, your matching red panties pushed to the side but might as well come off and go straight into the trash with how ruined they are.
“God,” you moan as you lean forward, “I’ve missed it so much. Fuck, Jimin, keep going.”
He slaps your ass as you slap the counter, both echoing throughout the room, making you laugh and groan even loader.
You come so quickly now, your triggers as inflated as the rest of your body. You almost lament it, wishing it could last a little longer for you.
But the strength, the sheer force with which you come.
That, you wouldn’t trade for anything.
You nearly collapse, thankful the counter is there to catch you as your wrists buckle, and still shaking, you try to put your palms up to keep yourself steady.
“Fuck, another one is---”
You come again almost immediately, your body lunging forward, head threatening to hit your kitchen backsplash.
Tears flow out of you as you whine, shuddering and struggling to stay in position.
“Wanna move?” Jimin whispers, easing his strokes as you float down.
“No,” you gasp, “if I move, I fall.”
Jimin slows to a stop, but you reach back for him.
“I don’t want that either,” you whisper. “Come for me.”
“You might be tired,” Jimin says, “and that’s OK, we can just---”
You start rocking forward, and Jimin groans, his thoughts disappearing.
“Even tighter than before,” he mutters, taking in gulps of air to keep himself from losing it completely.
You clench, and Jimin wobbles a little. 
“Shit, Red, a little warning!”
You laugh, and you take over, bouncing back onto him as he revels in the waves sloshing across his body, ebbing and flowing with greater intensity, each push threatening to undo him.
“This,” Jimin pants, placing his hands on your shoulders as you bend farther down, the blood rushing to your head, “all I want is this.”
You bite your lip as Jimin retakes control, moving faster, his voice climbing, whining, nearly howling.
And suddenly, he’s spilling into you, chuckling with each spurt, moaning as you both feel everything trickling down your skin.
You turn back to Jimin and smile, and he wipes the sweat from your forehead. 
He kisses you softly, one hand wrapped around your waist, the other reaching blindly for the paper towels that you bought yesterday.
You hear perforation ripping, and the faucet turning on. And then you feel warm, wet, but wrung-out sheets wipe your thighs. He pulls out of you, and he crouches down to catch the rest of your shared arousal and release, before standing and cleaning himself. 
You smile at the sight of his pants still on. How flattering it is that he couldn’t wait to dive into you.
He pulls your skirt down and spins you around, kissing you again before turning and tossing the used paper towels into the trash. 
“Wasn’t too rough, was it?”
“No, I bought the quilted kind.”
Jimin throws his head back and laughs. “I mean the sex.”
“Oh, god, no, that was exactly what I needed.” You smile. “This whole night was.” You smile even bigger. “You are.”
Jimin beams at you.
“Then did I make up for nixing the crème brûlée?” he whispers, placing another kiss on your cheek.
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“Hmm?” Jimin asks sleepily, rolling into you and hugging you closer.
You open your eyes and see your red dress on the ground. So then what are you wearing? Nothing, probably. Soiled panties… those went in the trash, right? So then what will you wear to the hospital?
“We gotta go.”
You sit up and hold your stomach.
“Jimin, I mean it,” you say. “I think my water broke. And I think I’m having contractions.”
Jimin bolts upright, staring at you.
“But you’re still a month out.”
“I know. It could be Braxton-Hicks, but it might be something else, and---”
Something’s not right. The back of your neck feels unnaturally tense. You feel too tight, like someone is squeezing you. 
“OK, we need to go,” you say pointedly. “Now.”
Jimin knows where everything is. The hospital bag has been packed and resting in the hallway closet for your use. Keys are where they were when you got home, on the kitchen table. He grabs some sweats from the laundry room, and then he grabs a pillow for you to sit on in the car. 
But he doesn’t know where you are.
“Just… need…”
He runs back into his room and finds you leaning over his bed, still naked, and somewhat in pain.
Jimin wordlessly grabs a hoodie from his closet and helps you into it.
And then he takes the pair of boxers that you’d been holding onto, which only kind of fit, as they stop under your belly, and helps you step into them, the hoodie long and large enough to cover everything anyway.
“Purse,” you remind him, as he’s shouldering your hospital bag. 
He grabs your purse, which also hangs in the hallway closet, and he helps you down the porch steps and into his car in the driveway.
You hate that every trip to the hospital with Jimin so far has been so tense.
“Was it the champagne?” Jimin asks, his voice buckling under the guilt.
“No, it really wasn’t. I promise.”
“Was it the---”
He glances at you. “When we---”
“It wasn’t that either,” you reassure him. “This is something else.”
Jimin chews on his lip as you swing into the hospital parking lot.
This is where everything becomes a blur.
A cold wheelchair.
An unfamiliar doctor. You don’t catch his name.
Some terms float to your mind. 
“PPROM?” you ask. 
Jimin frowns. “Huh?”
You grasp his hand to let him know everything’s OK.
“I don’t have any of the risk factors, though,” you say.
The doctor checks your chart. “Did contractions come first?”
“Can’t say,” you reply. “We were asleep. Thought the contractions I was feeling might be Braxton-Hicks. I’m only 36 weeks.”
“It’s hard to tell, but with your elevated blood pressure, I’m concerned either way. We’ll most likely have to induce.” 
The doctor, a kind, older gentleman, looks into your eyes and smiles. 
“Everything’s gonna be fine. Seems like your baby’s been stable, and 36 weeks isn’t too far off.”
You take a breath. You know that premature babies run in your family. You were actually three weeks premature.
Things blur together again.
Jimin sends the message in the designated group chat.
He makes sure your parents get to the hospital safely. And Tae, the twins, and Chul join them, setting up camp in the waiting room. Even Yoongi, Jin, and Hobi show up, bringing a tray of Red’s Delight to feed the crew.
More waiting.
Some sleep.
More pain.
And then Jimin standing next to you, clutching your hand, kissing your temple and whispering, “Breathe. You can do this. Another push.”
And then. 
Like that.
It’s all over.
She’s here.
There’s a moment where everyone clears out, when you and Jimin are sitting together, staring at your baby, identified by the doctor as a girl, but gratefully just healthy, and happy, and so, so lovely.
You and Jimin are weeping, just staring at her.
“You were amazing, Red,” he sighs. “So calm throughout. So strong.”
“I barely remember anything about it,” you admit. “I thought it’d be more vivid somehow. But it all just kind of melded together.”
It’s been hours, but to you, it feels like you were just at home, buried with Jimin under the covers.
“We still don’t have a name,” you chuckle softly.
“I had an idea,” Jimin whispers. “I thought about it in Paris. When they were doing my hair. When I was thinking of you.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Mujigae,” he says. “Rainbow. Kinda like my hair. But for the rainbow baby that she is.”
A fresh crop of tears spill out of your eyes. 
“You remembered?” you whisper, looking up at him.
The term you’d introduced him to. The word for the dream you hoped for since losing the last.
“Of course,” he says. “How could I forget something like that?”
You cry for the baby you lost. You cry for the baby you’re holding in your arms now.
“Mujigae,” you whisper to her, as she stirs in your arms.
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Bear with Me masterpost
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staygoldggukx · 8 hours ago
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❥︎ roommate agreement
❤︎ part one: roomate-less
pairing: secret fuckboy-gamer-roommate!jungkook x rising youtuber-roommate!reader
Taglist: @kpopwhore123 @awhnamjoon @ggukkieland @kokoandkookie @xkonpinkx @secretlycrazyhummingbird @tae165 @thisartemisnevermisses @mooniyooni @ellixthea @preciouschimine @maggiexxk
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keepsmilingbts · 9 hours ago
Taekook Spies/Secret Agents AUs
husband material by springguk - Spy Jungkook, Spy Taehyung - Intimacy was not a strange concept for Taehyung, and being affected by it was even less-so, he had played dozens of roles while at work, he was even considered the best at honey trapping. It was something he had trained and prepared for, something they were all exposed to at one time or another while working for Namjoon’s agency. But Taehyung never had to work with someone he liked.
How to Bake Pies by cblaire - Spy Taehyung - it’s a cute one shot -  The spy au where Jungkook is convinced his new husband and love of his life is cheating on him. Turns out, Taehyung's just a motherfucking spy working for the government, and this just makes Jungkook even angrier.
slip into the shadows (fall into your arms) by lovelyjjkth - Spy Jungkook, Spy Taehyung -  Years of cutthroat rivalry between two prominent spies in the Underground, Golden and V, are put to the test in the light of a new disappearance and rumoured government insurgence. When the fight between morality and loyalty becomes this ruthless, every second makes the difference between life and death.
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taehyungbiased-fool · 9 hours ago
Hey can some of you guys help me find a fic? It was an ot7 one in which the reader was in a pornographic show with the seven of them. Its theme was somewhat like the batcheloret. Sejin was the producer. They were all housed in a villa...?
6 notes · View notes
kimnjss · 9 hours ago
dangerous game | jhs
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⤑  series: heartbreaker
⤑ pairing: stoner!hoseok x cheerleader!reader
⤑ genre: smut !! ...and a bit of angst
⤑ rating: explicit
⤑ word count: 4.8K // unedited
⤑ warnings: use of recreational drugs, mentions of drinking, cursing, slight grinding, fingering, unprotected sex, cum shot, clothed sex, drunk sex at a party... hoseok is an emotional mess on the inside.
⤑ A/N: hiiii! good luck...
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OCTOBER 29TH, 2020 | 21:49
It's an unrecognizable urgency that hits Jeongguk when the message from Arya is appearing on the screen. All of a sudden, the plans he had for the night were taking the backseat, worry filling his chest on whether or not she was okay. And there was no way he'd be able to sit still until he was going to check for himself.
So with the excuse that he was simply on the way to his latest conquest's house (a tiny virgin redhead with dark freckles covering her t-line), he's rushing to her house. Well, not exactly rushing – he does stop to pick up something to eat just n case she hasn't had anything yet.
It wasn't often that Arya was asking him over. It never happened to put it plainly. They talked when it was necessary, never really hung out alone because Jeongguk prided himself in being cautious. He knew himself and couldn't exactly trust himself when it came to being alone with Arya.
The only reason why he was even considering going right now was that he knew how things between her and Joon have been lately. Fights more frequent and the honest conversations he's been advocating for weren't happening as often as they should. The thought of Arya alone and sad was so terrifying to him that he was willing to break all of his rules and go check.
What he doesn't expect is to be hit with the stench of alcohol the moment she's pulling the door open. It's easy to tell from her disheveled appearance that she had more than a few drinks tonight. He's offering a gentle smile down at her, making the stupid decision to enter her house.
He's only been here one time before, with Namjoon on a night they all had planned to go to the club. It had only been for a few minutes, so he didn't have a chance to fully look around, but now he was able to see how messy she was. Pieces of past outfits thrown around, shoes scattered in front of the door, and so many water bottles.
It was cute.
Okay, no. That's not what he came here for. He simply needed to check on her and then he'd be on h way to spend the night with Viki, happily showing her what she's been missing in her twenty-one sexless years.
Arya has drunkenly slumped herself at the kitchen table, tossing the last drops from her bottle down her throat. Jeongguk is careful when he sits across from her, focus on setting the bag of food on the table. They sit silently across from each other for a few minutes, Arya sniffling quietly while Jeongguk tries to tame the pounding in his chest.
“What is it? Why are you upset?” He's nudging the wrapped sandwich in her direction, which she ignores, standing with a huff. She's grabbing a cold beer from the fridge for herself before she's plopping back into her seat. “Eat something,” He says when she's downing half of her bottle, only earning a swift shake of the head.
Honestly, it was lost to her why she asked Jeongguk over. He just always seemed to know what her boyfriend was thinking and at the moment she couldn't figure him out. Things were hard and she didn't want them to be. She needed the right answer, but she didn't even know what the question was.
And Jeongguk always seemed so sure when he spoke, especially when it was about Namjoon. Like he had a manual to their future and knew that they were going to work out. She needed some of his confidence in them right now.
“Do you think Joon is still in love with me?” Jeongguk has managed to pick every last pickle from his sandwich. He's picking up on the slight slur in her strained voice, the possibility of that statement no longer being true weighing heavily on her heart.
He doesn't hesitate as he nods, he doesn't need to. “Of course he is. Did you fight again?” A rhetorical question more than anything. He didn't need her to tell him, the evidence was staining her cheeks. Jeongguk is nudging his discarded pickles in her direction, knowing they were her favorite.
And he feels shitty right after because the only reason he knows that is that he's seen his best friend do the same thing countless times before. He shouldn't even be here, but he can't bring himself to leave.
Arya's pushing two pickle slices into her mouth before her face is scrunching and fresh tears are rolling down her cheeks. Emotions heightened from the liquor cruising through her veins, but it still catches Jeongguk by surprise. “All we do is fight now and I hate it. It's like he expects me to be only his and most times I don't mind it. But he always wants to fight over the smallest things. And he gets mad when I say it's not a big deal... but it never is!” Her sobs grow loud as she speaks, the words getting to her. 
“I don't think I can do this anymore,” Her head falls into her hands, back shaking as loud cries fill the room.
Jeongguk is springing to his feet at the sight, then awkwardly standing beside the table with the fear of getting any closer. “Hey, stop it...” He tries softly and it does nothing to soothe her tears. “What do I always tell you guys? Just talk about it. Tell him what bothers you, he'll fix it. You can't keep fighting with him and not talking about it after,” From where he stands, he's stretching his arm, hand awkwardly patting her back.
Her head is lifting to reveal her teary red eyes, nose wet and irritated. There's a pinkness to her cheeks, giving away just how much she had drank. She's drunk and crying and vulnerable and he really shouldn't be here right now. “No more crying, okay?” He's quick to pull his hand from her, grabbing his phone as an excuse.
“Eat that.” He's gesturing to the probably cold sandwich he had brought for her. “I have to go call Momo. She's on about Plan B and I know for a fact I did not cum inside her. Not to mention, the last time I sent her money... she went and got her nails done,” He's rolling those big doe eyes of his.
That manages to pull a laugh from Arya, head shaking at his ridiculousness. “You're gross. When are you gonna get a serious girlfriend?” She's too focused on unwrapping her sandwich to notice the longing look on his face. It's only there for a moment, he's quick to shake it away. He's gotten good at masking it.
Instead, he laughs, “And go through the same shit you and Joon go through? No thanks. I'll be back,” He lifts his phone as a reminder of the earlier mentioned phone call before he's leaving.
But he doesn't call Momo as he said. He's in no mood to deal with her nagging voice and the thousands of reasons why he should stop calling her... even if she was easier than fixing a bowl of cereal. He stands outside of her house for twenty minutes, coming up with an exit strategy. And excuse he can feed her that wouldn't make his real reasoning completely obvious.
He could just leave right now without a word. She'd probably end up falling asleep before realizing he was gone. But, that didn't feel right. Leaving her while she's a blubbering mess seemed like a dick move he'd pull on anyone but her. Telling her that he had to be somewhere else seemed sleazy knowing that the 'somewhere else' was at another girl's house.
Yet, Viki wasn't 'another girl' in this situation. There was nothing tying him to Arya and he had to stop acting like there was. He'd just go in there and tell her he'd have to go and that would be the end of it. Save the third degree for her boyfriend, because that... wasn't him.
Jeongguk is quickly finding the back and forth with himself was useless, she's fallen asleep. Cheek resting against the table and half-eaten sandwich in hand. From where he stands, he can hear the soft snores leaving her lips and even those sound pretty. Okay, he'd just move her to a more comfortable spot... and then he'll leave.
It's not special, he'd do this for any of his friends. Although, none of his friends smelt as good as she did. He's careful not to hold her too close as he lifts her from the chair, but that doesn't stop the way she's instantly snuggling into his chest. Nose digging into the fabric of his shirt.
“Mmh, baby. You smell different... new cologne?” It's the sleepiest, most slurred sentence that he's ever heard but it still sounds so clear. It causes a stutter in his steps, but she doesn't notice – too busy inhaling into his chest.
He's quick to set her down on the couch, ready to hightail it out of the house when she's reaching for him. Eyes barely open warm hand resting on the side of his neck. “My Joonie. I hate it when we fight.” It happens so quickly, he doesn't have a chance to react. Soft lips meshing with his, grip on his neck to keep his head in place.
The kiss is barely a kiss. Just mouths pushed together for all of five seconds. It's so elementary but it still has heart racing. Eyes wide as she pulls away. “I love you so much, Joon.” Honestly, if Jeongguk wasn't so riddled with shock, he'd probably burst into tears at that very moment. He bottles it up nicely, though.
Arya's head falls on his chest, eyes closing as she drifts back to sleep and that's when Jeongguk is carefully laying her down on the couch. Forcing himself to ignore the flutter in his stomach from that kiss as he unfolds her throw blanket, spreading it over her body. He finds her satin bonnet amongst the clutter and slips it on her the best he can without moving her too much.
And then he leaves. Shooting a quick 'ten minutes' text to Viki before he's heading to her house. He plays the music loud to drown the weird feeling stirring up his chest. It was best if he ignored it, act like it was some type of lucid dream. It was something so minuscule, she'd likely forget. Before he knew it, she'd be back with Joon and there was nothing else to it.
It didn't make sense to hope for anything else. He knew that she was happy with Joon and he had decided quite early on he liked her best when she was happy. 
Of course, he knew it was a dangerous game getting involved in their relationship, tonight was a perfect example of it. But, he wanted her to be happy, so badly. He couldn't help himself from inserting himself in places he knew he didn't belong. Even if it ended up hurting him in the end.
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OCTOBER 31ST | 20:32
Twenty-four hours is so different from a whole day. Spending twenty-four hours with you has Hoseok noticing things he's gotten pretty good at ignoring. Like the way, his heart skips a beat when you get too close. How his breath hitches every time you kiss him. And how empty he feels when you're leaving. 
He wants to be with you all the time and he hates it. Feeling dependent. Tamed. He hates it. But, he can't bring himself to do anything about it, because he doesn't hate you. In fact, he loves you.
Before he had chalked it up to being the high talking – his senses on ten so of course he'd feel like he loved you. But there's no trace of marijuana in his system when you're turning up at Yoongi's house, smiling all big and pretty as you rush over to him. Hardly noticing the attention you draw just by simply entering a room because you're too focused on him. And his heart skips several beats when you're circling your arms around his neck, engulfing him in your sweet scent. Kissing him wholly and sighing as you pull away.
He's in love with you... and it's terrifying. 
As earlier stated, Hoseok can't stand being away from you. Which is why his hand stays glued to your waist as you bounce from inner circle to inner circle. He's being sweet, attentive. Offering to fill your drink he notices it getting low, laughing at your jokes and hyping you up each time someone is giving you a compliment. 
Although, he still can't place what you're supposed to be dressed as. Shrugging it off each time he asks you with a laugh because you're honestly not dressed as anything. Only chose to wear this because it showed a tempting amount of skin and you had one precise goal set for tonight.
Jimin had been adamant about wanting to keep the guest list small, but that didn't stop anyone with an active social media account to show up. It's been an entire since Jimin has thrown one of his iconic monthly celebrations, so of course, it was a big deal. There's barely room to breathe so it's no surprise when guests start to spill onto the front lawn.
You and your friends had secured a comfortable spot on the couches, in the center of it all. And by your friends you meant: a love-drunk Namjoon sucking face with an equally love-drunk Arya. Taehyung and a random girl he found on his way inside (she was dressed as a sexy pirate and well, he was a simple man). The ever so popular Jin accumulating a small crowd with the animated way he talks to anyone close enough to listen. And an already cross-faded Jung Hoseok.
He had taken shots with you before the house started to fill up with extras and the moment he was settling on the couch, he was rolling a blunt for the circle to share. Which you hastily passed along in favor of not ruining their little rotation.
Hoseok has both arms wrapped around your waist, chest pressed to your back. Thigh nestled between either of your legs and nose dragging along the length of your neck. It's something you've noticed about him in the time you've spent together. High-Hoseok was extremely touchy and clingy and considering he was high 99% of the time when he was with you, it was safe to say he was always touchy and clingy.
Which is why you couldn't understand why you haven't done anything yet. He was always stopping... hesitating, ruining the moment with useless chatter and you've let it slide enough for it to start to drive you insane. Any more edging and you're sure your head will explode. That's why tonight had to go perfect and judging from the way his hands roamed over the skin of your stomach, he felt the same.
“Wait a minute...” There's a slight furrow in Taehyung's brow as he looks over the people sitting around. Realizing there's someone unaccounted for. Yoongi and Jimin had wandered off a little earlier and no one was really worried about them. No, there was someone else missing. “Where's Jeongguk?”
Hoseok has pretty much ignored all the other conversation happening around him up until now, head leaning back so he's able to steal a glance at Taehyung. “He's sick. Haven't seen him in days actually,” He's lifting his emptying to his lips taking a short sip.
A soft chorus of 'awes' erupts from the girls nearby at the mention of Jeon Jeongguk being sick. No doubt imagining him sniffling and sneezing cutely when you're sure it's much grosser than that. “Wanna go dance?” Your words cut off the Jeongguk related question from the girl seated beside Jin.
His body moves before his mouth does, head bobbing up and down as he stands from his spot on the couch, careful not to drop you. Fingers loosely intertwined as you lead him into the dancing crowd. It starts out innocent, although that was never your intention. Bodies simply moving to the beat of the music until you're moving in front of him, back to his chest and arm slinking back to wrap around his neck.
There's a subtle gasp catching in his throat as your ass brushes over his crotch. But he doesn't miss a beat, setting both hands on your hips and moving in time with your body. Cliches are cliches for a reason, they work. That's what you tell yourself as you're leaning forward the curve of your ass pressing firmly against his covered cock.
And then you're rotating your hips, bouncing your ass just enough to have him flinch. Which has a grin spreading onto your features, leaning further into him as his hands tighten on your hips. You're moving to the music and you half expect to continue moving on your own. But, Hoseok is quickly pulling himself from his stunned state and grinding forward.
He's gliding his hands from your hips up your stomach, gently pushing until your back is pressed against his chest. And then he's making the incredibly bold move (one that you haven't experienced since your first date) and covering your breasts with a hand. It's experimental at first, brow arched to see how you'd react and when you're not protesting, he's flexing his fingers around your flesh. 
The soft moan that falls from your lips shoots straight to his dick. He's leaning into you, nose nudging against your ear just before he's grazing his lips over the lobe. A much faster response than you had expected and you can't help but wonder just how long he's been holding back.
“Hoseok,” You're gasping at the feeling of his fingers tweaking your nipple. The sound alone would've been enough to push him toward the edge, but you just had to push back against him forcing his cock to drag over your ass. He's got a hand pressed to your stomach, holding your body to his as he sucks a line of kisses down your neck.
His lips are soft and cool against your burning skin and you're instantly filled with the need to feel them against your own. So you're turning in his arms, causing his hands to fall from your body and steal purchase on your back. You're leaning into him, hand set on the back of his neck to pull him down to you.
Tongues instantly clashing and your mouths taste heavily of the liquor you've been sipping, the weed he's been smoking. He kisses sloppily, fingers knotting in your hair. Not like you cared for the bodies dancing around you, but there was a sort of rush you felt from being like this in front of so many eyes.
He's easily pulling a moan from your lips as his teeth nip at your lower lip. And he swallows every last whimper, tongue coaxing your lower lip into his mouth and he sucks hard. “Fuck,” You're sighing, feeling the way his lips stretch as he lets out a low laugh. The palm of his hand sliding down the length of your back until he's gripping your scarcely covered ass.
“What if...” His mouth falls from yours and you're quick with latching your mouth onto the skin of his neck. He can barely form a coherent sentence, brain too focused on how good your mouth feels good on him and how much better it would feel on other parts of him. “I wanna fuck you so bad,” He's throwing the admission into the air and you're not too sure if it was actually meant for you to hear.
But, you're taking it like it is. “I want you to fuck me so bad,” Pulling back to look up at him and he's getting a good look at the neediness behind your stare. So obvious there's no way he could ignore it, not like he would even imagine to.
He's quick with putting distance between you, but that's only so he can take hold of your hand. Rushing toward the stairs and with each step your quickly abandoning the intricate steps of your master plan. Apparently, some subtle teasing was all he needed to set a fire under his ass.
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NOVEMBER 1ST, 2020 | 00:08
The hammering in his chest only intensifies as the two of you are into Yoongi's bedroom. Surprised to find it empty, Hoseok is quick to lock the door behind him. He's not sure if he's having a panic attack or if he was just that into you, but the moment you're pulling him in for another kiss he's convinced it's the latter.
You taste sweet, as always, like vanilla and he can't seem to get enough. His head is spinning and the need to be close to you, feel as much as he possibly can, is steadily creeping up his spine. Hands moving desperately over the curves of your body, from your breasts to your hips to your ass. He wants all of you at once, tired of waiting.
A hushed groan falls from his lips as your fingers drag along the board skin of his stomach, lifting his shirt along with your movements. He's pulling back from your lips reluctantly, allowing you to pull his shirt over his head. And then he's leaning right back down, arms secured around your waist and head buried in your neck.
He sucks harsh hickeys into your skin as he walks the two of you backward, careful with the way he lowers you down onto the sheets. You're so pretty to him. It had been a reoccurring thought for the majority of the night, but right now... right now seemed different.
Spread out beneath him, dark hair sprawled out against the white. You're looking at him with just as much want and desperation as he feels and that's enough to drive him insane. Fingers tangled in his hair and mouth quickly closing around his, not many people got to see you like this... have you like this. He knew that for a fact and knowing that you wanted him in that way was doing wonders for the pounding in his chest.
A confession heavy on his lips that he silences by pushing his tongue into your mouth. Soft and warm underneath his touch and he's in love with you. Every last bit of you. The way your legs spread, allowing him to fit his hand between... the whimpered moans you let out as he runs his middle finger over your covered slit.
Indirectly answering his earlier wonder of whether or not you were wearing any underwear with your costume. You weren't, the warm wetness meeting his fingers was proof enough. He doesn't even notice the grunt he lets out from the feeling.
“You're already so wet... want me to fuck you that bad?” His words are slurred and it takes a second for them to connect in your drunk mind. But the moment they do, you're nodding your head quickly – legs spreading as a silent plea. “Yes, please...” You're panting and it has a grin spreading on to his features.
Hoseok doesn't waste time undressing you properly, his fingers lowering to nudge your shorts to the side. Your body reacts as soon as he's pressing down on your clit, drawing sloppy circles into it. Hips twitching each time he's pressing down just right on it and paired with the slow roll of his tongue, it's not long before you're feeling the pressure building in your stomach.
And then he's lowering his touch, two fingers easily sliding past your walls. “Hobi,” You whine, fingers buried in his hair and tugging at the root. You can feel his smirk against your skin as he moves his fingers at a rhythmic pace, the sweet sound of your moans egging him on.
Just seeing you squirming beneath him, so desperate for him has his cock hardening in his pants. You feel the way it twitches against your thigh, just as he's lifting his thumb to tease your clit. It's all too much, he's playing your body like a violin. So effortlessly too, angling his fingers so he's perfectly brushing against that rough patch of skin deep inside of you, forcing your back to arch.
“Hoseok, please... I need to f-feel you,” Voice too whiny to be recognized as your own, but you don't care to dwell on that for long. Hands moving to his hips only to fumble with the buckle of his belt, huffing out when you're not able to undo it.
He's laughing at the pout that takes over your features, leaning down to press his lips against it. “I got it, baby.” He says through a laugh, fingers slipping from inside of you. And you don't like the emptiness that shoots through you upon the loss of him.
With his mouth to yours, he manages to pry his belt open. Inching his pants down just enough to pull his cock from its confines. You're whining at the first bit of contact, his engorged head pushing its way past your silk hole. He watches with his head bowed, the way you swallow him in with ease. Breath growing heavier the deeper he goes.
“Shit...” He groans as he's bottoming out, face dropping into the crook of your neck. Thumbs pressed into your hip bones and you see the strain in his features as he gives you a moment to adjust, allowing you to get used to the feeling of him being buried so deep before he's pulling back. Slowly, so he can watch every inch reappear but he doesn't have the same patience when pushing forward.
It's crazy. He feels crazy. Never has he felt something like this before. And he's had his fair share of rumps in the sheets, but never like this. He could feel you. And not because you were so snugly wrapped around his length, swallowing each and every thrust in. No, like actually feel you. 
And it's weird because he doesn't know why that is. Not much different from the other girls that he's slept with, so what's with the flutter in his chest, the fogginess in his mind. It's never been like this before.
He tries to drown it out by fucking you harder, pulling those wanton moans for you but that only has him falling further. Your nails are dragging down his back and you're begging for me and he feels like he's on top of the world. And it's because of you and he doesn't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing yet.
It's all too overwhelming for him to get his head around. He liked you, of course, he did. But how he's been feeling lately? Needy. Desperate. Co-dependent. That was dangerous and he had no idea what to do about it because the only option he could think of was the last thing he wanted.
But would it work any other way?
“F-fuck, I'm close..” Even if you hadn't said anything, he can feel how tight you're squeezing around him. So he's pushing in deeper, fingers reaching down to toy with your clit. The subtle touch has a pang of pleasure shooting throughout your body and you're spiraling much sooner than you're proud of.
Walls fluttering around his cock as your hips buck, cum leaking out of your hole. Feeling you cum around him, hearing your desperate mewl is quickly pushing him over the edge. There's a stutter in his thrusts, his stomach caving as he speeds to his own release.
He moves quickly to pull out of you, seconds after you've calmed down and he's surprised he's remembered to do it. Stroking himself to completion as his breathy moans hit the shell of your ear. His warm cum hitting the soft skin of your stomach and a low moan emits from the back of your throat.
Hoseok presses his lips to yours briefly before he's rolling off of you, arms lifting to push his hair from his sweaty forehead as he attempts to catch his breath. And normally you'd assume that was it, but something feels off.
It's silent for several minutes and the energy in the room has shifted, but you're not sure why. What changed from a moment before that has this awkwardness looming in the air. And how do you address something you couldn't even articulate. He was thinking hard about something, but you couldn't come up with the words to ask him what it is.
Instead, you're saying, “Should we get back to the party?”
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— you’re just his type. so it’s no surprise when all of his time and effort goes into making you his. though, they’ve always said… you only want it because you can’t have it.
⤪ masterlist
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A/N: timestamps make sense throughout the fic. if u want to be added to the tag list, send me an ask! + if you’ve asked to be on my permanent taglist, you do not need to ask to be added to this one !!
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btsthinker · 10 hours ago
fan behavior
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part 5 >> part 6
pairing: gamer!jungkook x gamer!reader (female reader)
summary: y/n is a famous twitch streamer, while a fan account on stan twitter who goes by “jk” hopes to get his favorite content creator’s attention. but here’s the catch—he’s also a huge figure in the gaming community just like her, but instead of “jk,” he’s called jeon jungkook. besides a couple of his friends, nobody knows he’s behind the stan account, and he intends to keep it that way.
notes: hey yall i need to stop promising when im posting the parts bc i never come through HELP but yeah enjoy some more of whatever this is and yeah THANK U ILY
taglist is open! send an ask if u want to be tagged 💓
@somelazysundays @sugasmind @kardia-apo-marmelada @tae165 @infernal-alpaca @unicornbabylover @maggiexxk @becomingbts @purpletaecup @ddummbbass @ambivalentragdoll
for some reason it wont let me tag some of you?
let me know if i missed your @ or if u dont wanna be in the taglist anymore !
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alexlwrites · 10 hours ago
Summary: The one where your best friend of years and love of your life is getting married and wants you to be the maid of honor. Luckily for you, the best man is not exactly happy either.
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader, Jungkook x Reader
Tags: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst
A/n: had to repost cause someone said they couldn't find the last post for some reason.
Part 4: All I can be is sorry
(Fanfic masterlist)
(support me on my ko-fi <3 )
(<<<Part three)
“What are you doing here?” was the first thing you said and despite the many hours your friend had spent there and his spare key, the words still sounded like an accusation.
Jungkook was silent under you, holding still like he was trying to disappear, but Taehyung noticed him. “What are you doing here?” he said, voice far from welcoming.
The younger boy walked in, stepping into your living room and placing you gently on the couch “Ran into Y/N” he answered quietly “she hurt her ankle and I helped her, that’s all.”
“I didn’t know you were close.”
Jungkook waited for you to deny it, but instead you repeated your first question “What are you doing here?”
“You said you needed to talk” Taehyung answered, voice confused as if it was obvious.
“Yeah, hours ago!” you could feel the flames of anger rising within you, filled by years of frustration and the worst few weeks of your life “You can’t just show up here out of nowhere this late.”
“What are you talking about?” Taehyung sounded more and more confused, voice rising just like yours “We used to show up like this all the time”
“Not anymore! I’m not gonna show up unnanounced at your fucking house and go ‘boo’ at your fiance, so you shouldn’t do the same here!”
There was a moment of pause, a stretch of silence as Taehyung took in what you said and for a second you thought you saw a light recognition in his eyes, but Jungkook distracted you before you could look into it “I should go. I hope you feel better soon, Y/N” he turned to you and something in face made you believe he was talking about something beyond your injure.
“Thank you so much for your help, Jungkook” you smiled at him, trying to ignore Taehyung’s burning look “I’d walk you to the door, but…”
He grinned slightly and waved you away “I got it, don’t worry” when the door closed behind him, you realized neither Jungkook nor Taehyung had said goodbye to each other.
You turned your look back to your friend, noticing how for the first time how out of place he looked in your home, in your line of sight.
“Where is all your stuff?” he asked again in a quieter, more polite manner.
This was it, you thought, but the answers left your mouth much more easily than you initially believed they would “I’m moving.”
Taehyung nodded, having probably already deduced that. “Getting a bigger place?” he guessed, walking around the room trying to look casual “Is this what you wanted to talk about?”
You watched him, his steps and shifting eyes, overthinking his movements as he gave you nothing but a blank face “Bigger country.”
That made him turn and you felt panic bubble inside you, clawing the walls of your body and begging to leave whatever way it could, in screams, tears or digging nails into skin. That was the confrontation you avoided until it loomed over you like a guillotine.
“What do you mean?” he sounded strained, like he was holding back, fighting against the same panic you did, slightly closer to winning than you.
“I got a promotion. A really great offer to relocate to their English branch.” show no weakness, you told yourself, you are not asking for permission.
Taehyung did not like that.
“And what?” he threw his hands in the air, like your answer wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy him “You’re just gonna leave everything behind, just like that? What about your family?”
“My parents know and they’ve already made plans to visit. They are very excited. This is huge for me, Taehyung.”
“What about your friends?”
You scoffed “Who, Yoongi? He was the one who told me to take the job…”
“What about me, Y/N?”
Weeks ago you would have a five thousand word answer to that question. Weeks ago you asked that question before every choice you made. Weeks ago you loved him much more than you did yourself.
But now you just loved him so much it hurt and loving yourself wasn’t nearly as painful.
“You don’t need me here.”
He shook his head angrily “You can’t seriously believe that’s true.”
You shrugged, but that wasn’t enough for him again “Is this about Haewon? About the wedding?”
Back was the panic and it begged you to let it react, to take control over your body so it could pump adrenaline into it and force you to ignore any physical or emotional pain and run away. “What do you mean?” you asked, voice sounding so quiet under the thunderous beat of your heart.
Taehyung turned his back to you, hunched like he was hiding something “Nothing, never mind.”
But you knew better. Something in you was attuned to him, something that grew over the years, trained to pick apart and recognize lies, half-truths and omissions, like when he said a scratch didn’t hurt as kids or when he told you he loved you as adults.
That something brought you to the epiphany you spent years avoiding. “You know.” you said.
He didn’t move, still hunched in silence, and that was enough of an answer. “You know” you repeated, but now it sounded like an accusation just like the first words you directed at him that night, like you were placing blame “Oh my God, you know.”
He finally looked at you, all worried eyes and twisted fingers picking at each other and you wished you could have done something to make him feel better but you could barely breathe just like you could barely stand up, limbs and heart on fire.
“Y/N…” he started, but you didn’t let him finish. You had flames in the back of your throat forcing out all the words stuck there, pushing the questions you held back for so long they became part of the fabric of you.
“How long have you know?” you asked and he flinched at every word, but this time you didn’t stop them from coming “Why the fuck didn’t you say anything?”
Nothing in his guilty expression made you feel sorry for him, not his teary eyes, not his next words “I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You really think I would leave?” you asked and God, you wish you could stand up, wish you could push him back “You really think so little of me that you think I’d just throw our friendship in the garbage if you rejected?”
Taehyung winced as you got louder, shrinking until he looked much smaller than usual “I though things would become too awkward between the two of us.”
“Taehyung did you really think I expected anything but rejection?” tears were leaving you as your frustration rose “Did you really think years of you parading girlfriends in front of me gave me hope? Lead me on? How much of an idiot do you think I am?”
He shook his head, getting close to you and kneeling on the floor by your legs, faces leveled with each other “I just could never bring myself to let you down. I t-tried, you know, seeing you that way, but…”
“Please, stop talking!” you placed your hands on your ears and shut your eyes, hoping you could hide your humiliation “I don’t want to hear all the ways you tried to force yourself to love me!”
He took your hand between his, forcing your arms down “I do love you!”
“No, you don’t! Cause if you did, you would’ve said something! You wouldn’t have let me suffer in silence, you would’ve talked to me and allowed me to move the fuck on from you.”
“I’m sorry.” he sighed and although his apologies sounded sincere they meant nothing for you “I was selfish and I didn’t want you to move on from me. I still don’t want you to move away from me. I feel so-”
"No, you don't get to be sorry, you don't get to be sad or to be hurt, you don't get anything cause you got me for years.” you took your hands away, ignoring how he taken back he looked at yout outburst “For years you got me by your side watching you fall in love with different people; got me by your side at parties just for you to leave with someone else; got me by your side as your fucking bride got to choose her wedding dress and i got nothing. I didn't get to feel a thing, didn’t get to feel sorry for myself because I didn't feel like I had the right to keep you by my side. You don't get to feel shit now." the last part came out as a whisper as the energy left your body and left you empty.
You both sat in silence for a while as neither dared to say anything after that. You shut your eyes to avoid looking into his and feeling any sympathy.
Finally, you heard him stand up “Maybe I should leave” he said and he sounded almost as bad as you felt.
“No, not maybe. You should leave.”
You heard his steps as he walked, counting silently in your head to see how many it would take for him to walk out of your life.
He stopped halfway.
“You don’t have to come to the wedding.”
You scoffed “I know I don’t.”
“But I’d really love it if you did.”
“Well, you know what, for the first time I don’t really care about what you’d love, Taehyung.”
Jungkook sat in his car for a long time after he left you, flexing and relaxing his hand like he always did when he was nervous or stressed. From his window he could see the entrance to your building and he watched for a while, curious to see how long it would take for Taehyung to leave. When he didn’t, Jungkook drove away.
As the lights and cars passed by, he wondered if he should’ve stayed longer. If he should’ve stayed there until his hyung left, his presence sparing you of any fights or arguments.
Jungkook thought you deserved a little peace.
He remembered a time where you didn’t look so fragile and exhausted. He stored away those memories like a precious little thing, all those stolen looks he got from across Haewon’s living room kept like a treasure, because he didn’t know when he would get to see you like that again.
Jealousy and resentment settled inside of him as he drove, thinking of Taehyung’s interaction with you. What would it be like, he thought, to be so secure of his place in your life that he could just walk into your apartment and make himself at home?
Jungkook still felt like it was a bit audacious for him to show up like that and he couldn’t deny how happy he felt when it looked like you felt that too.
When he got home, Jungkook allowed himself to lie on his bed, taking in the smell of your perfume that had rubbed off on his shirt. He allowed himself to relive his night with you, happy to have a few memories to save, finally some that were his own and not borrowed glimpses. He counted on his fingers the time you laughed and said his name, the moments he had to avoid blushing like a high schooler in love.
And then he stowed them all away and reminded himself of your empty apartment and way too full heart and how your life had no place for him at the moment.
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