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lost-jams · 10 months

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Brushes And Beats chapter 12

pairing: JiminxReader

genre: fluff with a pinch of angst

trope: enemies to lovers

:embarassment who?:

Y/n's Pov

Will you believe me if I tell you that I sprinted across the cafeteria away from Jimin as if my life depended on it?

Well, that's exactly what I did

I had never felt this level of panic and embarrassment before!!

I could feel my face turning into a fierce shade of crimson while I weaved across the tables on my way to the nearest exit.

WHY DID HE OPEN THE ENVELOPE

WHO OPENS AN ENVELOPE WITH A FLOWER

TALK ABOUT PRIVACY

In the midst of my embarrassment, I couldn't help but admire Jimin's determination to find out who had sent me flowers. Why is he so persistent?! I need to hide, I NEED TO HIDE

I darted to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls, desperately trying to catch my breath and calm my racing heart. I sat on the toilet sit with my head on my hands as I tried to come up with a plan to avoid Jimin and salvage the remains of my dignity "Come on, Y/n" I murmured to myself. "I should have taken it out" banging my head on my hands "This is so embarrassing" my fingers racked through my hair "I'll just say that I bought it with his money and it's just my name on it, not a big deal" a fake cry left my mouth, I CAN'T THINK.

knock knock

My heart jumped at the sound, my eyes widened, Oh no! Not now, I recognize these shoes

The guy just didn't know when to give up! In an attempt to regain my composure and come up with a plan, I took a deep breath and counted to three before opening the door.

"Hey there," I said in what I hoped was a casual tone, but my voice came out sounding more high-pitched than usual.

There stood Jimin with an 'innocent look' on his face, what a devil, "Hello there good to see you again, inside the boys' washroom" a sly grin appeared on his face. "I should take my leave" hunching my shoulder slightly trying to put some distance, not that he was super close but his presence alone felt heavy.

"Ok bye" I muttered as I tried to quickly slip past him and make my escape. But Jimin wasn't about to let me off the hook that easily. As I reached for the door, my way was blocked by his outstretched arm, resting against the frame, but now he wasn't grinning anymore,

In the discomforting closeness of the washroom, Jimin looked at me with eyes heavy with complex sentiments. "You lied, you never had a date yesterday did you?" he asked, his voice just a whisper in the small space.

My mind sprinted as I tried to figure out my escape from this conversation and the emotions it was stirring within me. His closeness to me was making my body hum in a way I didn't want to examine at that moment. With a forced casualness, I answered, "No, I did, Fine the flower was not sent by him it was me, BUT I had a date."

He raised an eyebrow, doubting me again. Breaking the intense eye contact, I fumbled for my phone in my purse. A swift pull of the tiny device brought out a bunch of receipts, my lip gloss, and other tidbits I didn't need at that moment. Finally, my hands gripped around my phone. Quickly, I pulled up a picture from last night and extended my arm to show the photographic evidence to Jimin.

"What? Not my fault the deal you cooked had loopholes." I said evenly. He looked at the pictures and then met my eyes, a series of emotions crossing his face. "And I am sure that he can give me more than just a firework, I mean he already had the upper hand with height" Low-blow y/n low-blow "What is even more impressive is his sense of humor and the way he makes me laugh"

He towers above me, he may be shorter than other men but he was definitely way taller than me, causing me to crane my neck up to look him in the eye. His coal-dark eyes burned into mine with an intensity that seeped beneath my skin, I couldn't help but look up and traced his features with my eyes, soaking in the lush curve of his lips and the fine planes of his features.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

" Are you struggling to not start a fight again? " I huffed as I crossed my arms across my chest, " I thought we had a deal " he leans forward closing the gap between us, so close that I could feel his breath go down from my right ear to my neck " I'm trying to decide whether I should kiss you or strangle you, it's my daily struggle birdy ".

Did I want him to take me in his arms and kiss me senseless?

yes, yes I did,

But I knew indulging in these complicated feelings will only lead to unwanted situations. Sweat coated my palms.

"I thought you were smart Birdy, I must be wrong" his voice laced with a mock as he leaned even closer, his lip mere inches away from mine

My heart is a vigorous drum in my chest, my blood electric in my veins. It was like he’d wanted to engrave his words in my mind, and he’d succeeded. My skin flushed hotter than it already was. His mouth curved into a tiny smirk as he stared at me.

“Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to do something?” I asked in as bored a tone as I could muster. There could be anyone coming inside right now, and the last thing I need right now is a scandal instead of feeling scared and doing the right things I push him against the door and feel a thrill when I hear the thud of his weight against it.

“Kiss me,” I whisper and the air gets warmer.

I feel him pushing back and we found ourselves inside one of the toilet stalls, "I'm not going to kiss you Birdy" he continues "As per our deal, If your guy isn’t as good, you have to admit it to me. To my face. Verbally. Honestly. No sarcasm.” Every loophole is neatly closed.

“It’s weird you want me to.” I take a step back and almost knock over the tissue roll "I'm not gonna kiss you Birdy unless you tell me no one kisses you as I do" He adds one more caveat. “One last thing. You can kiss him only once” I couldn't believe the turn of events. My heart raced as I tried to process his words. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions as his words hung in the air. At that moment, it felt like time stood still. At that moment, I found myself torn between the desire to give in to my feelings for him and the realization that this was a dangerous game we were playing.

The air inside the small restroom stall felt heavy with tension as we stood there, our eyes locked in a silent battle of emotions. At that moment, I realized he had me wrapped around his finger, just as much as I wished to have him wrapped around mine.

to be continued...

chapter 11 || chapter 13

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electric-spider · 4 days

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Impartial sins

Check my M!List for more! Here

Previously... Next..

Warnings: language, mentions of weapons, mentions of drugs, mentions of starvation, short. If I missed something let me know! If you are uncomfortable with this, don't read!

Recap: I put ice in the bag and grab a paper towel wrapping the bag in it. “Since you can sense pain, can you make sure we don't get burnt with ice?” I ask. He gasps “I get to take control!?” I groan “yes and if you can do this, I'll start letting you out more” I say.

He squeals, “I won't let you down!” He says.

---------------

Azrial POV -

Ace is letting me out of the headspace! I can't let him down or mess up, plus he said he'll let me out more if I don't mess up! I press the ice to my mouth, just don't mess up. How can I? I think to myself as I take a step towards the couch.

Am I falling!? I quickly regain my balance as I stare at unfamiliar faces. Calm down, find out what their intentions are… I stare at the one with red hair named… diavolo I think. Strongest emotions… people aren't this hard to read usually…

Then again, he isn't really a human. Ok… happiness and nervousness. Lucifer's strongest emotions are annoyance and trust. Huh… strange pair of emotions.. I quickly analyze the others and realize they have no cruel intentions.

At least right now… Hopefully never. Focus, Azrial! I blink a few times and take in what they say. Man, Ace is gonna be pissed about this.. at least it wasn't my fault! Plus he's definitely gonna let me out more now!

-------------

Man… talking to people is draining… Fuck! I left our bag…. I'll just teleport it. I quickly teleport my bag to me and move to sit on the bed. I let out a shaky breath as a burning sensation fills my eye. “Hey, Ace…” I say shakily.

He sighs “I know, I know… let me out, I need to stretch” I whine before I return to the headspace.

Ace POV

I groan and get up, I swear luck isn't on my side. I think to myself as I crack my back. That feels better but it still hurts… I need to shower, where are my clothes? Oh, damn, I'm stupid.

-------------

That feels better… I feel clean. I sit on my bed and get on my ‘human’ phone. I can't believe I have to go back to school… Why is that what I focus on out of everything in this situation? I'll just listen to music while I try to send my playlist to my D.D.D.

This is gonna take a while… I'll go get some snacks. I put my phone in my pocket and walk out of my room. I head down stairs and to the kitchen, snacks! I open the fridge, no food… oh well, I should have some in my bag.

If not, it's fine. Had no food for a full week when I was younger. I'll be fine. “That doesn't make it any better Ace” Azrial says. I hum as I head back upstairs “oh well” he huffs but says nothing more. I go into my room and close the door.

I check my bag and rummage around. That's my gun.. knife… cigarettes… Food! I need to clean out my bag, better yet, organize it. I'll do it after I send my playlist, which shouldn't take long… let me see what my number is…

I type in my number and send my playlist. Got it! Now let me save my numbers… ok! Now for me to clean out my bag.. I connect my headphones and blast my music. Let's see what's in here… I dump my bag's contents on the floor.

Hopefully this doesn't take long…

--------------

Surprisingly it didn't… It's only 2am! “It's been two hours Ace…” Az says. Fuck… I place my bag on the chair at my desk and collapse on my bed. Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight… I sigh as I sink into my bed.

Sleep…

Taglist: @cuddlybelphie @doomsday-fae @a-crazy-little-goblin

#obey me #obey me oc #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me original character #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #impartial sins

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queer-adhd · 2 years

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TW disordered eating ; TW neglect ; TW self harm mention

I was wondering if you or your followers have advice for me, since you have so many neurodivergent followers. I've already got a dietician helping me out with the food part, but I'm struggling with the autistic/ADHD part.

At the age of 31 I found out I have a ton of food allergies and intolerances. Apparently I've also developed a histamine intolerance along the way.

This suddenly put a lot of things in perspective: I've always struggled with food, and I realised this is because my parents/childhood environment didn't take these issues seriously and just continually told me to stop making a fuss and finish my plate.

I think I ended up developing ARFID because of this. Seemingly everything I ate made me sick so I just stopped eating unless I was on the verge of fainting, or unless my ADHD made me seek out dopamine (back when I was still unmedicated). I think the fainting thing might be hypoglycemia? I was always told that's a diabetes-only thing but the symptoms match up with how I felt the majority of my life and I recently read it can also be caused by eating disorders.

Thanks to my dietician, I now know what I can digest and what I can't and it's had a major positive effect on my health so far. We've been working on these issues for a year or so now. She's been amazing for the food part, but doesn't know anything about neurodiversity.

I keep getting stuck on the brain part of recovery. I've regained my ability to distinguish nausea from hunger, but I still constantly forget to eat. I've trained myself my entire life to ignore hunger. My sense of time is really bad, so a day will pass by and I'll only realise I forgot to eat all day around dinner time. My ADHD meds probably diminish my sense of hunger too. I enjoy cooking but executive dysfunction makes it hard even though I know I need fresh foods for the histamine thing. My ADHD makes me crave things I can't have whenever my menstrual cycle makes my meds less effective: I make sure I don't have any around, but the dopamine seeking thing makes it hard to eat something else at those times. Autistic sensory issues give me trouble with some safe foods which makes having a balanced diet difficult. I've also just been struggling to find safe foods in general because the various allergies are hard to combine and it takes a lot of research/focus to find new things I can safely add to my diet.

It's also taken me a long time to accept this is a type of eating disorder. Most doctors I talked to about these issues basically reacted the same way my parents did before I found my current dietician. So while I objectively know it's not my fault, I still constantly have to remind myself that I'm not just being difficult and that I really do need all of this. I try to do this with CBT techniques, but I also noticed a problematic trend: I don't seek out allergic reactions, but whenever I do react it feels like a validation of my struggles being real now that I know how to identify an allergic reaction. While I think I'm dealing OK with this at the moment, I'm kinda worried this has the potential to turn into a type of self-harm if my mental health were to take a bad turn in the future. I've already told my therapist, but she's not entirely sure how to deal with this either. (She's looking into it though.)

I can't be the only person struggling with issues like these? Given how ADHD/autism and allergies/histamine issues are comorbid. Does anyone recognise this situation? Any tips on how to deal with it? Or Tumblr/Discord/Reddit groups that talk about this? Or should I just give it more time?

END TW

Thank you for running this blog, by the way. Seeing other people's asks here and at Rouke's place has helped me figure out a few other minor health issues too. Your blogs seem to have had a positive impact for a lot of people. Really makes me appreciate the power of community.

So guess who had a response to this in his drafts and then got punched in the face by life repeatedly. Sorry! Here's what I had in drafts:

Ahhh I'm really glad that we've been able to help, even if it's just by linking people to other people who might know how to help better than us.

So I can't offer help on everything but I can confirm that ADHD also makes me forget to eat, and having a structured life kinda helps. I bring lunch to work with me and lunch break is a set time every day where everyone in my office stops to eat, so I don't forget.

I also think that possibly one of these might be helpful:

It's a vibrating wristwatch; it's got ten different alarms, so they're most often used for medication reminders but they're also honestly great for reminding you to eat. They're physical so they don't get silenced when I put my phone on do not disturb, and they haven't set off my sensory issues.

The lights are usually off unless you click the button to check, so the battery life is good and it's rechargeable via micro-usb cable instead of battery replacements.

Also, generally speaking I'd say that a safe food is better than no food or not enough food. Even if you're not managing to eat super healthy or whatever, jump on the opportunities you get where your brain or body says yes, particularly if they're rare.

Regarding the self harm aspect, I've definitely struggled with something similar. It's hard. Feeling validated like that is something very appealing, even if it's objectively miserable. I'd say that as long as you're not seeking them out, it's not too much of an issue. Maybe try and keep track of how often you find this happening; if there's an uptick, then it's time to break out the CBT and also potentially address any stressors in your life that might be contributing.

Also yes ADHD in general can be a contributor to disordered eating; our dopamine pathways are fucked. Food can be a major issue because of that.

As per, please anyone who knows more or has any insight chime in?

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casspurrjoybell-21 · 9 months

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Pirate Chains - Volume 1 - Strong Tides

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 2 - Life Debt - Part 1

Nyx

It was dark. A deep darkness that brought a much-needed sense of peace. Then the pain slowly began. I could feel myself rising towards consciousness and with it away from peace. The throbbing headache became stronger and my head span for moments before it slowly settled into a constant rhythm. A soothing rhythm, despite the pain. Much like the waves of a sea.

I opened my eyes and saw a wooden ceiling. I'm I on a ship... Am I alive? As I slowly regained consciousness, my senses started to wake and were assaulted by a burning scent. Fumes flew and blurred the air above my sight. I turned my head slowly, following them to their source. It took a moment for my eyes to focus and see him, sitting on my left, on the same bed I was laying on.

"You came around. About time"

His voice, deep and commanding. I didn't know him but I've seen him before. As I stared at him, he took a long breath through a cigarette and slowly released the fumes above me again, almost distracting me.

"Pardon me. But where am I and who are you?"

My voice sounded weak and hoarse, making my lungs hurt from the effort of talking. He blew another fuming breath, before looking down at me and announcing.

"I'm the one you owe your life to. As for where you are, you're on the Martina. Welcome to hell."

He smirked and it sent chills through me. Was he joking? Did he mean to scare me? The Martina? That must be the name of this ship. Such an ominous calling. But that was the least of my troubles. Whatever was fated to me, it seemed like it wasn't death. I was indeed alive. Is that for the best? I'm not sure. No matter. I have important duties to go back to. I nodded, stopping immediately when my head started spinning. I groaned as I held my head in a fruitless attempt to stop its throbbing.

"It seems I made a fool of myself and burdened you, sir. Thank you for saving me. I'll make sure to repay your kindness as soon as we reach the shores."

Thanking him was the polite thing to do. I, on the other hand, didn't think it was the best idea. Dying wasn't that bad after all and I already miss the peacefulness of not being alive. As these thoughts crossed my mind, I decided I should focus on the present. There was probably some gain of me being alive. Now I could make sure that Terry would be punished and kept away from my family. I needed to resume taking care of my mother and sister, along with our family business. If I manage that, everything will be better. Would it, though? Was it really Terry that led me to where I was right now? Or was it my incompetence that?

"My clothes?"

I shifted to sit up when I noticed my very naked state beneath the thin, black bed sheet. Once again, the answer took it's time to be provided and when it was, it somehow sounded full of unspoken meanings.

"I removed your clothes for you. You were drenched from your little visit underwater. You're welcome," he said in a nonchalant way.

As if it was the most normal occurrence.

"Um... Thank you, I guess."

This was an embarrassing situation. I felt my face heat and turned to look away from his dark presence. Well, if I was well enough to blush, then I should be ok to move. I slipped my right leg out of the bed, breathed in and pulled the bed sheet along to cover me as I stood. I immediately felt unstable. I thought it was my dizziness but realized the bed sheet was being pulled, making me fall backward on the bed. His demanding voice graced the room again but what he said only added to my confusion...

"Where do you think you're going?"

I made sure I still had the bed sheet for cover and I looked up at him exquisitely.

"I'm thankful for your hospitality but I need to find my crew. You must have met them when you saved me. I'm hoping my ship is still close... I need to find them."

I felt a headache as the memory of what happened with Terry started to rush back to me.

"Aye. They claim to be fishermen. We locked them in the cells. The old man, however, what was his name... Jerry."

“Terry.”

"Doesn't matter. We made him walk the plank."

"Pardon? You made him what?"

"You know, the road of truth."

I frowned and waited for further explanation. He sighed and rolled his eyes in boredom before adding.

"The plank we use to send someone to meet their maker. You must know of it, or at least its stories, hands and feet tied, thrown in the sea, unable to swim and all that. But don't be fooled, it's only fun if there are sharks around. Otherwise, it's just like throwing someone off the deck, so why bother with the plank and the tying. A bit of stabbing might lighten the mood, though."

I listened, stunned by the words and the arrogance that oozed from them.

"You killed him? Why? How could you?"

His left eyebrow rose infinitesimally before adding,

"You want him alive? He wanted to kill you. Do you remember that or has the salt water cleared your memory?"

"He's my stepfather."

"He's a scallywag."

"Do you mean to tell me that you actually. Oh, God... I need to save him."

Stabbing, killing and walking planks. No regard to the laws of civilization. What kind of a person is this? I must leave this room and find Terry and the crew myself. I must save them if needed and find a way to get the crew to my side and sail back. Despite their betrayal, there're still in my pay and right now, they're my best chance. I sat up and went to move when a firm hand grabbed my left arm and pulled me back. I tried to free my arm but his grip only tightened.

"I understand from my little chat with your stepfather that he's nothing but a greedy thief. You still want him alive?"

"He admitted to that?"

He chuckled and added...

"No one resists a walk on the plank. We call it the road of truth for a reason."

Then his smile changed into a devious smirk. His face approached mine and his voice lowered and thickened as he threatened...

"If you're not respectful and obedient, you might try it yourself."

My eyes widened. Something told me his threats were anything but a jab. He was truly capable of every word he spoke. In what way was I disrespectful? And what did he mean by obedience? I wanted to ask but his menacing words frightened me. And they were backed up by the strong grip on my forearm, making me hesitate in my resolve and swallow. However, the more time I spent here, the less of a chance I had to find my crew. Yes, that was my priority. I won't give this man the satisfaction of my fear. No matter what threats he throws my way, I still need to save my crew.

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myexplicittarotjournal · 1 year

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⭐️ Stargazing

Chapter I - Flosô 📺

When I was around 11 to 12yo, I gradually stopped seeing my friends from the housing complex building I lived in the east zone of São Paulo. I used to see them every day on the playground after school, but now I would only dare to spy on what they were doing from the crack of my bedroom window on the 5th floor.

Sometimes, Gersinho would see me spy and shout aggressively to come down and play. I hid, embarrassed from having been caught spying. He wouldn't understand my behavior.

I wanted to regain my preteen social life at home, but I was too exhausted from my life at school. André, a blond, blue-eyed new student, got everyone's love for being intelligent, a good football player, talkative and gregarious. And he hated me.

He noticed something in me; I could never see. If I saw it in me, I would change it to be accepted and popular like him. But I never could.

He used to call me "flosô." That means, in Portuguese, a man who has affected delicate manners and is probably gay. He learned that term from a Rede Globo soap opera starring a young city boy who moves to a jungle farm after finding his father is a millionaire cowboy. I wouldn't say I liked TV Globo and its homophobic soap opera characters.

Well, when I was 11 years old, it seemed everyone knew I was gay before even I did or had come out like that. I was an effeminate young boy, I guess. And the kids in my school made sure I knew that.

But that was just who I was. I didn't know how to be different. If I knew, I would try to be.

And because the most popular guy in my school would pick on me for being flosô, everyone else thought it would be cool to do so, too.

The teachers wouldn't say a thing. Maybe they felt that if they let the bullies torment my life, it would be for the better because I needed to learn that lesson; who knows?

I just wanted to hide. And even though my friends at home wouldn't have flagged me yet, their hormones were kicking in, and they would start talking about girls, a subject I had a terrible time pretending I was interested in.

I couldn't hide in my school. But I could hide at home, and so did I. I disappeared from the playground. And I vanished from life as much as I could. I did consider suicide when I was 13 but never had the courage.

Still, I killed myself in a certain way. I did it every time I wouldn't come down and be with my ex-friends at the playground. Every time I hid from life, I killed myself a little.

I was too gay to live; society made that clear to me. So I would spy on what life could be like from the crack of a bedroom window on the 5th floor of a low-income residential building.

Chapter II - Why are you so quiet? 😶

Today I'm 40. And though somehow I managed to have a life, I still have a constant feeling I don't live enough.

I became aware of this feeling more recently. My subconscious disguised it as guilt. That was the feeling I had when Gersinho would aggressively shout at me when I would get caught spying on him.

Everyone had a life but me. And that was my fault. Because I can't hide I'm gay, I don't feel comfortable talking about girls. And with time, I didn't feel comfortable around people anymore.

"Why are you so quiet?" - people often ask me. That question makes me even more uncomfortable because I never know what to answer. And therefore, I get even quieter, like there's something wrong with me.

"You're just shy. You'll mature and get over it soon." - well, I'm 40, and I haven't. But one thing I know. I shouldn't feel guilty for being unable to "repair" myself to function in society. Society should repair itself.

But they won't. And if they will, it'll take lifetimes before gay people are understood and fully integrated into society with no prejudice or hate.

Meanwhile, if I don't fully accept being gay within myself, I'll permanently hide. And hiding is killing me. But how do I convince that 11yo me it's OK to be gay?

I want to live. And if I want to stop spying on life from the crack of a window, I need to heal my inner child.

Chapter 3 - Crush ❤️‍🩹

I have a crush on Matheus that just won't go away. I've never seen him personally. I only follow him on social media. He has many friends and a successful career; he is friendly and gentile and looks oh so good.

When I stalk him on Instagram, I feel like I'm 12yo again, spying on Gersinho from the crack of my window. Matheus won't shout at me like Gersinho, but he doesn't answer many of my DMs, which shows he's uninterested in me. So I stopped messaging him. But I can't stop following his life adventures.

Currently, he's in Kathmandu, exploring new territories and living an exciting life. I've also been to Kathmandu as a cabin crew for Qatar Airways. Even though the company had a horrible working environment, and my time there was tough, I was happy there. I felt alive like I've felt very few times in my life. So, it's symbolic that he's there while I'm writing this.

On impulse, I DMed him again on Instagram. After all, I had to comment on his Stories posts. But the minute I pressed send, I regretted it. Why do I keep contacting him and begging for his attention? Deep within me, I wish I had him as a husband. It could cure my 12yo self who only dares to spy on life from a window crack.

I would have his protection and permission to live his exciting life. A life only granted to white, well-born, straight-acting, cis-gendered males.

But, hey. Wake the fuck up. You have to grab your child-self by the hand and take him to wherever he wants. Not Matheus.

Matheus will always run away from you if you keep begging him to take that responsibility. Every DM you send to Matheus, it's your neglected 12 yo begging for attention.

You can do it. You can make friends, travel, and earn your hard-worked money to travel and have unique experiences. You may have started your journey from a disadvantageous point compared to Matheus, but you know you're on the right path to regain your life. Repeat that to yourself how many times you need. Until your inner child feels safe again. Because he is safe with you.

Chapter 4 - The Star ⭐️

Still, I wonder why my inner child is so fascinated with Matheus beyond his joie de vivre. Frequently, I catch myself buying clothes similar to what he would wear. And I've grown an interest in hiking, one of his favorite activities. I even booked a trip to Bonito, near the Pantanal wetlands in Brazil, to be among nature just like he loves to be.

It may sound absurd, but I hope I can heighten my energy to a frequency like his so that one day, the Universe will redeem my worth of his company. He has so many intangible qualities that I admire. He is warm and humble even though he looks gorgeous. I think that if he was gay (he's bisexual), he would be so annoyingly full of himself and arrogant like most good-looking, successful gay guys are. But he is not. And he's intelligent, speaks three languages, too. Maybe I'm projecting; I don't know.

Still, I want to be like him. And maybe I'm not because there's much for me to learn in spiritual terms.

Before I started being bullied in school for being gay, I wasn't much of a pleasant kid. Sometimes I would be on the bully side. I was even violent sometimes, beating up my younger brother at home or the other kids in the playground. Well, and I would get beaten too. Once, an older kid punched me in the face, and a blood vein popped out of my eye. I think that playground was like a jungle full of little monkeys fighting for the alpha position.

And I could be born gay to learn to be nicer to other people. Maybe that was a life lesson I needed to learn to evolve my soul. Gay kids will never be alpha in our society. So I learned the hard way that fighting for that is stupid. Living in a world where we all love and respect each other is much better.

And that's why, on a spiritual level, I paid the price for being a gay kid. Today I'm a nice person. But being gay affected my life in so many ways, including my career, because I grew up insecure about myself. I wasn't strong enough to socialize in a competitive environment when I entered the workplace. So, today I'm 40, and I don't have a brilliant, skyrocketing, successful career like Matheus.

But I learned my lesson. And now I want to vibrate at the same level as Mathew because my soul evolved from all that pain. And I want to be successful yet humble like him. And enjoy life just like him.

No wonder I got the Star last time I flipped my tarot deck for guidance. Matheus is like a guiding star for me. But the card came out reversed. So, this card tells me that Star is inside me, not in the outside world. Everything I see on Matheus, I'm projecting from within me. My inner child wants to live, and he knows that he needs to grow up to be a better person that fits in a world of love and acceptance where Matheus lives and this child would be safe.

So now I must grab that kid's hand and walk him to a better playground where he doesn't have to hide.

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theold-ultraviolence · 1 year

Note

oh sweetie, my weekend was fine just a bit unsatisfying because I had a lot of plans cancelled + I have been feeling a bit anxious about a whole lot of things about uni (like you know when you have been working/focusing on more things and can't do any of those? that's me) + I got a stiff neck (just as I was exiting a cold). definitely showing my 25 years of age. but mentally I am trying to regain my balance, so I should be fine.

also I am sorry to hear about your relative, as always there is a limit to what I can do, but I absolutely am sending you the best vibes possible and all my love and warmth. I also do hope that even thought you might not see 'Scream' now, you'll get to do so, soon, in a calmer time!

in the meanwhile, I'll distract you with my unserious rambling.

yeah, Turin is very pretty and one of the cities where I'd love to work (still bitter about the fact that I was supposed to attend a wedding there but they changed the location, ugh).

and I'll definitely check them both out. I have heard about 'the shape of water' but always got discouraged from watching it but never heard about 'cronos', I'll definitely look it up.

(also would I be one of the people using the backdrop for selfies? maybe... but that's just because I need to further up my artsy instagram feed, as the arthoe, I am inside).

ALRIGHT NEW THING ABOUT MUSEUM CURATOR! AEMOND (writing it down before I fall asleep and forget about it!). but basically Aemond being interested and he doesn't want to lose you but also... he can't just ask for your number... can he?

it'd be unprofessional and he'd probably intimidate you (joke's on him buddy I am 100% intimidated and horny for him). so, he'd be like 'what if you came one day and I gave you a private tour?'

like... you just seem so interested about the topic... and I... I have been aching to have somebody to talk with about it' and he rambles on and you are just like 'private FREE tour + FREE museum entry + hottie. I... where do I have to sign' and you end up accepting going like 'it isn't a date' (it totally is in Aemond's mind).

and you show up and he is like even more amazed by your day style, because your nightly one at the museum was a bit more reserved on who you are, instead you are... you and he... is a sucker for genuine people and it's awkward and nervous and he needs you cracking up a stupid joke to completely feel at ease. he totally offers you coffee at the coffee shop inside of the museum and you leave your number on the napkin at the end of it. 'if you set up anything interesting exhibition obviously' you blush as you admit it '... but also... you don't need any cool exhibitions to text me'.

ok that's it, I am going to sleep hoping to dream about museum curator! Aemond.

-🌗

Sorry to hear you had cancelled plans! it is literally the worst if you're really looking forward to it. And I totally get what you're saying about working on a lot of things at once and being unable to. It's how I'm currently feeling ngl! I'm just yearning for spring break because I have 0 energy to do anything at all. So sending you all the good vibes, and hope you can find the ease and balance that you need at the moment! with the chance of a good rest as well, of course. And thank you for your kind words, it really means a lot right now. It feels as though I've been preparing myself for the worst possible scenario and I'm very exhausted and anxious. So the warmth and good vibes are definitely appreciated :')

Omg 'private FREE tour + FREE museum entry + hottie. Literally the dream!? And the hottie in question is one Aemond Targaryen!???? what else could I ask for?? if only this scenario could come true! it's seriously the ideal way to meet someone, I can't think of a better one. Dying over letting him see you on a casual attire and just getting more and more intimate with him through coffee dates at the Museum's coffee shop, oh my GOD, yes yes yes. And in turn he does the same, one day you meet up for a regular date in a conventional place so he's also dressed down than usual when he's working. (Wearing some Adidas maybe? Adidas Aemond sponsored by one Ewan Mitchell). And lunch at the restaurant! TIFF had a special floor (yes, a whole floor) for members only. It was like this lounge where you could chill at and get some food. The gallery curator that was my coordinator when I did my internship got me in there and I was LIVING). Aemond would be like, oh yeah I can totally get you in <3

And it also had like 2 different restaurants, one that was a bit more open to the public and the other one I think was more exclusive, as well as a bar (if I'm remembering correctly. Sigh, I wanna go back to TIFF). So I'm imagining dates at the exclusive museum restaurant, and just hanging out there with him all the time. Also, when you finally get together? dressing up all fancy and being glued to his arm during the opening, and just being by his side all night looking oh so proud that you're the partner of the hot curator. *SIGHS DREAMILY*

#🌗#museum curator!aemond #modern!aemond rambles #this curator Aemond is seriously such a vibe and it makes me feel way better so thank you dear!!

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munashikouta · 1 year

Text

Ok so since this is my uh special place i can talk about this right? i mean i NEED to talk about this BUT nobody MUST find what i wrote in this thread EVER because if someone did i'll do a murder on them then myself

Ok so, last year I did a little uh tier list of my chemistry colleagues in my head just because, and there's this classmate i classified as an A-tier going to S-tier yeah he's kinda reserved and nice from afar also in the group chat he kinda texted in a cute way ngl but he's kinda short so yeah

aND NO IM NOT GONNA DRAW HIM THAT FEELS WEIRD SO TAKE THAT DUMMY AND SHURRUP AND IM NOT GONNA EVEN DRAW REAL ME I DREW MUNASHI BECAUSE THAT ALSO FEELS WEIRDTHZBYE

Well, as normally, he dropped gradually to d-tier when uh i once went to a lab he was in to get something and well he was bubbly and laughing with a girl (which really recks the reserved part)

But you know i once had a dream of an "Ahmed" dunno who that is but i jokingly said to myself what if that's the bad-lucker and shoved it off.

Yesterday night i had a dream of "Ahmed" again but this time i was convinced that "he" was "Ahmed" no his name isn't that i dunno why my brain did this. In the dream i was going somewhere and some guy with ahmed asked me of i was engaged or not because ahmed wanted to propose and laughed

in the dream i got flustered and shoved it off with an insult and just went on my way and ignored them

When i woke up oh boy did i feel weird af-- anyways i also forgot about the dream because obviously i had more important academic stuff to get anxious over

bUT bOY I REGAINED ALL MY FLUSTERATION FROM THE DREAM WHEN I WENT TO THE DEAN'S OFFICE WITH FATIMA AND HE WAS STANDING THERE--

hE askeD somethibg about uh i dunno an elective or some crap i DIDnot get into the convo but fatima answered him abd mY head wAS spinning cRAZY back then i THOUGHT a mILLion though a SEC and as i soon as i came to my senses he was gone and god that was so nerve recking i hate this

nO NO nO DO nOT tell me it's a cruSH it is NOT i am still under the effect of my dream ladies and gentlemen for i am as greatly affected by fiction as i am numb to reality.

Also let's be a little real here, EVEN if he was the "Ahmed", it will NOT work out because I'm a graduate, my academic process is going fast, and he's even behind my colleagues, and no man is able to start a family at these conditions with uh shit it feels weird to say it but uh with me. Also.. uh.. when guys pick their wives in our community, they pick the pretty ones, like, the classy cute soft ones, not "me" ones you know? I'm the type that can only get traditional marriage throughout mothers and women in general or like family connections. I love myself, and I think I'm pretty in my own way, Allah made me pretty and I love my kind of pretty, but I'm not meant to be a garden-picked-flower, that's all.

Also thanks, it feels good to spill it all out like this, I feel so much better.

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chellesdump · 2 years

Text

Hybrid AU: School Meal Club

Nayeon was laying in bed rewatching some of her favorite shows, she found some needed comfort in those known scenes after all the stress she had gone through recently at work. The mug of plum tea in her hand helping her relieve all the fatigue from her body, the only thing missing for her to be truly at ease was her girlfriend, Jeongyeon always knows how to help Nay when she's not feeling well.

Fully immersed in her show she didn't hear when the front door opened, she became aware of Jeong's arrival when she was getting close to their shared room muttering things under her breath. "Jeongie, it's that you? Everything ok?!" questioned a little apprehensive hearing lots of ruckus coming from somewhere within their apartment, the reply came a few seconds later in the shape of a yell "Yeah unnie, gwaenchanhayo. Just preparing a surprise for ya, don't come before that or it’ll be spoiled”.

Nayeon was planning on listening to Jeongyeon and staying in their room until she was summoned but after hearing a loud crash and things falling onto the floor she worried for her girlfriend's wellbeing and decide to go and investigate. The scene that greeted her the moment she arrived in their living room was Jeongyeon trying to put a puppy inside a wagon filled with two kittens, said wagon was in the middle of the room surrounded by a mess of fallen things.

“YOO JEONGYEON! Would you mind explaining why our living room is a mess and there's a wagon full of hybrids in the middle of it?” yelled exasperated the older girl catching the attention of everyone in the room, “Would you believe me if I told you this mess was already here when I arrived?” seeing the unamused face of her girlfriend she continued “I swear I can explain just please listen to me” said the taller girl with an apologetic face.

“Okay I will listen to whatever you have to say but you better have a good explanation for all of this” Nayeon expresses with her arms crossed as she sat on an armchair, putting all her attention on the clearly distressed blonde. After taking a deep breath Jeong started with the narrative of her day and how she ended up with the three hybrids.

“So it all started with the walk home after helping Seungyeon unnie as I was walking through the park looking at all the trees and people enjoying their day…" "Not that I would know as you didn't take me with you" muttered under her breath with clear annoyance, with a sigh Jeongyeon continued "I had already told you that you looked so comfortable sleeping and you need the rest. Anyways please don't interrupt again, I swear I'll answer all inquiries you have at the end".

Regaining the thread of the story she continues "As I was saying, I was looking at the scenery while walking when I found myself at our fave spot near the playground, there were some cute squirrels so I decided to take their photo when I heard some kids talking about something interesting near the restrooms, so I decided to go and investigate. That’s when I found Tzuyu, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun inside a crate, I had to help them as they were looking so miserable in there” she took the moment to gauge Nayeon’s reaction so far and it wasn’t looking so promising.

“You gave them names?! Really Jeong?” exclaimed Nay with disbelieve at her antics, “NO! No, they already came with them… After finding them and breaking the padlock with a rock I took them to the shelter, which I must say wasn’t an easy feat seeing as they didn’t wanna come out of it so I had to get a big enough car to get the crate onto and get all of us there. Once we arrived they gave them a quick evaluation and told me that they weren’t able to stay at that shelter… or any other” recalled the blonde with a big sigh.

“Let me guess, so you decided that bringing them here was the best option. Am I right?” inquired the brunette, getting a tiny nod as a response, “And may I know why they weren’t admitted at the shelter? Since apparently, they’ll be staying here… for a short time” finished with a whisper. “I heard you Nayeon. Anywho, they said that they didn’t wanna get apart from each other, that Tzuyu isn’t fit to be with other puppies and there’s no space in any shelter for all 3 of them” Jeong gave the explanation.

With a sigh Nayeon made her way to the door and started putting on her coat, making the younger one a bit confused tilting her head “Uhm Nabongs… what are you doing??” “Getting ready to go out, it seems to be quite chilly outside so I’m not going without a coat” retorted with a duh sound, “Clearly I know that but WHY are you going outside? I know you might need to process this better away but it’s quite late already” mentioned the blonde while playing with her fingers, “We need to get some things from the store for the babies Jeongie, and could you get some of my hoodies for them” mentioned patting the younger one’s head before heading to the linen closet and getting some blankets to wrap the puppy and kittens as they didn’t have proper clothes to go outside in.

When they got the young hybrids into Nayeon’s old hoodies they started snuggling into them making little happy sounds with sparkling eyes making Nayeon melt, she knew that even if she wasn’t happy at first by the surprise, those three babies will be forever theirs and she will protect them from losing that sparkle in their eyes.

#hybrid au #twice hybrid au #jyp twice #twice #twice au #twice 2yeon #nayeon #jeongyeon #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu #tzuyu is the cutest puppy ever #dubchaeng as cute kittens

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one-boring-person · 3 years

Note

(Somehow anon doesn’t work so it’ll have my name plastered on it 😅)

[Terminator request]

Hello, I would like to request something rather unusual. I’m curious on how Uncle Bob would react to someone who’s spiritual and uses witchcraft. The idea of two people who’re so entirely different from each other getting along and maybe fall for each other is very appealing to me. Perhaps the reader uses some kind of protection spells to prevent the group from being discovered while they rest in the abandoned gas station? You get the idea 😄

Ok so I really love this idea, but I'm not sure I've hit the mark here😅 I hope you like it!

Sigil.

T-800 (Terminator: Judgement Day) x reader

Warnings: none

Masterlist

A burst of triumph floods me as I finally uncover something of use amongst the mess of dusty wrappers and papers in the drawer. Grinning, I reach in and pull out the warped white candles, glad to feel the waxy sticks under my sweaty palms, their familiar texture reassuring to me after a day of hardships. Wiping off the grime, I take in their half-used state, glad to see they're still of some use, straightening from my position behind the desk. In doing so, I manage to startle the tall figure that has entered the room whilst I was distracted.

Instantly, a shotgun is pointed at my head, only to be lowered seconds later as the terminator recognises me. Surprised to find someone else in the room with me, I gasp and start backwards, catching myself quickly to regain my composure, bending to pick up the candles I dropped in my fright.

"For such a big guy, you sure can move quietly." I remark, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly.

"Stealth is an asset vital to this mission." The T-800 intones, blue eyes remaining fixed on mine, dipping down momentarily to take note of my current appearance.

"It is? Huh." I reply, going to the centre of the room, where I've already cleared some space.

"Affirmative." The muscular cyborg watches me move, a frown of sorts appearing on his handsome face, "What are you doing?"

Surprised at his question, I feel heat rise to my cheeks as I suddenly become self aware of my actions.

"I'm...err...setting up a spell."

He blinks.

"I am unfamiliar with this concept." In the darkness of the abandoned office of the gas station, the terminator's features are somewhat obscured, but his cocked head is evidence enough of his curiosity.

Chuckling nervously, I go about setting up the four candles I found in a circle, not lighting them just yet to save the wicks from burning down.

"Err, a spell is something people do to do different things. Like now, I'm going to try and cast a spell for protection, but lots of people use it for success, or love." I do my best to explain it, but find myself struggling, pulling four of my rings off of my fingers. Under his watchful gaze, I place them in the centre of the circle of candles.

"How do they work?"

"It's hard to explain, but I can show you how it's done? Then try to explain it?" I offer him, taking my lighter from my pocket.

"That would be beneficial." He nods, standing over me with a curious expression.

"Ok, one minute." I take a breath and sit cross-legged on the floor, calming my mind and head enough to concentrate, allowing me to get into the right headspace.

"What are you doing?" The T-800 questions, deep voice startling me a little.

"Calming my head. I can't do this if I'm not in the right mind." I tell him, my voice already quieter than normal as I try to remember the words I'll need.

Silently, I open my eyes again and lean across to light the candles, one by one. Soon, a warm orange glow surrounds us, highlighting the cyborg's sharp features and accentuated brow, lighting the room somewhat. As I do so, I start to murmur the lines of the spell, keeping my voice low and steady. Fixing my eyes on the centre of the circle, I let myself lose some touch with reality, drawing on my spirituality to help me through this. Already, I can feel a slight pull in my being, my lips moving faster as the words come easier to me, my vision going blurry as I stare at a particular point.

The whole time, the T-800 watches me, not saying a word but still exuding curiosity with his presence. I can feel his eyes scrutinizing my every move, analysing and observing them closely. It's almost disconcerting, but I manage to push past that, focusing on getting the spell to work properly. Not for the first time, I'm glad I wore my carnelian necklace today, thankful for the protective properties it holds and how they will have helped me all day.

Soon, the spell comes to an end, my voice petering off. I check the candles, surprised to see just how far down they've burned. Standing, I stretch out and blow out the candles, picking up the four rings from the centre of the circle.

"What will you do with those?" The terminator asks me, following as I go to the far corner of the office.

"I'll put them at each of the four corners of this place." I inform him, placing one ring down in the corner, "Then I'll draw a sigil on the wall above it."

"What is a sigil?"

"A sigil? It's a symbol that can act as a spell of sorts." Patting my pockets, I swiftly locate a pen and pull it out, leaning forwards to scrawl on the wall itself.

I scratch the pen over the dirty surface, managing to inscribe the sigil onto the section of wall.

"How does this affect the protection of this place?'

Sighing, I stand back and admire my handiwork, before I turn to look up at him.

"In doing this at every corner, I'm making sure that the whole area protected by the sigil and amulet, which is what I've just made."

He nods, following me put into the rest of the gas station, where I make sure it is protected properly with the sigil and amulets. At one point, the T-800 tries to recreate the sigil, but for some reason, he is unable to wrap his CPU around the concept.

"What is the success of these?" He asks as we get back to the office, gesturing to the corner of the room.

"Well, put it this way: as long as I've had sigil and amulets on me, I've always beecn much safer." I explain to him, grinning as his face wrinkles in confusion, "Here, let me explain it a bit more…:

#terminator judgement day #terminator 2 #terminator imagine #terminator 1984 #terminator x reader #t-800 x reader #Arnold Schwarzenegger

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mimisempai · 3 years

Text

I made a wish and you came true

Summary:

Sylvie asks to see what the prince of Loki looks like. When he shows her she laughs at him. Count on Professor Loki to give her a lecture about his Prince.

🌈 Happy Pride month ! 🌈

To celebrate, 1 day, 1 story.

Be ready for smiles, laugh, fluff, tooth rotthing fluff, positive vibes and a lot of love!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32183185

1731 words - Rating G

In storm-black mountains, I wander alone

Over the glacier I make my way

In the apple garden stands the maiden fair and sings,

"When will you come home?"

Loki had to stop, overwhelmed by emotion.

Sylvie, her eyes devoid of all mockery, said softly, "So there is a would-be-princess somewhere..."

Loki chuckled sadly before replying, "I like metaphors you know, in this instance, it's not a princess, it's a prince, and I don't know if he's waiting for me or hoping to see me again, it's not even really my home, but..."

"...but you'd like to believe it, right?"

Loki could only nod.

"Show me your prince."

"No way," Loki replied, shaking his head.

"Come on, please Loki!" she paused before continuing, "If you show it to me I'll tell you in detail how I enchant people!

Loki couldn't resist, so he turned his hand and there appeared a mini hologram of Mobius.

Sylvie approached and looked at him closely before sitting down again.

Loki made Mobius disappear.

"Don't tell me that that little man with no stature, no class is YOUR prince?!"

Loki wished he had his brother's hammer to blast her with lightning bolts.

"Yes this is my prince! And your impudence has earned you a lecture on the definition of Prince Charming by Professor Loki!"

Sylvie snorted and told the passing maid to bring her a glass of champagne, because finally she was going to need it.

"First of all, you should know that the charming prince doesn't exist only in fairy tales.

In real life, he is not perfect but he has many qualities that are essential to be wonderful. Is Mobius my Prince Charming?" He didn't wait for an answer.

"To find out, I'll show you point by point that he meets all the criteria that make him a prince for me."

Sylvie settled back in her chair to enjoy the show.

"First, the Prince Charming is generous. He is generous in every sense of the word. He doesn't hesitate to invite you to an excellent restaurant and to offer you a gift you've been dreaming of. Ok, ok, I agree, I didn't have time to fully test that point. But that's not all! He is also generous in giving you all the time you need. He is also able to have an attention that will brighten your day. And Mobius devoted an enormous amount of time to me, when nothing required him to."

Loki thought back to the time Mobius had spent with him just before they left for the mission. He had taken the time to show Loki that he wasn't the villain he thought he was. Nothing forced him to.It wasn't necessary for the mission. In a place where everything was about time, Mobius hadn't hesitated to give him time.

Sylvie simply nodded and waved her hand impatiently for Loki to continue his « lecture."

He took a sip, cleared his throat and continued.

"Second, the Prince Charming committed. He knows what he wants. He gets up every morning knowing exactly where he is going and what he wants to do. He is also resolute, he has goals in life and intends to achieve them. What is touching is that he is not bragging. Humility is his middle name. Quite my Mobius."

Sylvie noted, fondly, the possessive pronoun, but said nothing.

"Even though he pisses me off, because he is narrow-minded about the TVA, what he thinks is real. Nevertheless, he still manages to impress me because he believes that what he does is his reality and that he does it for a better world, he does it with all his heart. And when he talks about it there is so much candor that even I have a hard time getting him to see the reality of things."

Loki remembered their discussion in the cafeteria.

Loki had asked him completely sincerely, because he wanted to know what made Mobius go on, "I mean, you really believe in all this stuff, don't you?"

Mobius had replied simply, "I don't get hung up on, 'Believe, not believe.' I just accept what is."

Loki had tried to show him the absurdity of a world ruled by the 3 time keepers and Mobius had replied by telling him that his story, Asgard, mystical realm, beyond the stars, Frost Giants was the same thing.

He remembered Mobius' words perfectly, "Actually it's exactly the same thing. Because if you think too hard about where any of us came from, who we truly are, it sounds kinda ridiculous. Existence is chaos. Nothing makes any sense, so we try to make some sense of it. And I'm just lucky that the chaos I emerged into gave me all this... My own glorious purpose."

Loki had chuckled, to hide the fact that he was disturbed by the accuracy of Mobius' argument.

Mobius concluded by saying, determined, "Cause the TVA is my life. And it's real because I believe it's real."

Committed, yes, his prince was. Loki realized that he missed their discussion. Rarely had he met someone who could resist him intellectually.

"Hey! Loki! Are you there? "Sylvie was waving her hand, seeing that he was lost in his thoughts.

Loki regained his composure and moved on to his next point.

"Third, the Prince Charming for me must be smart but not pretentious, yes because there can only be one pretentious and that is me of course. Who wouldn't want a smart, educated man? Mobius is extremely smart! Can you believe that he knows hundreds of languages more than I do because he has been working in the multiverse for so long! And best of all, when I tried to manipulate him on my first consulting assignment, he figured me out. He almost knew right away that I was trying to play for my own side. Okay, it's a little humiliating. But that's the charm of him."

If Loki was honest, that was when he started to fall under Mobius' spell.

He had been so sure that he could get what he wanted from him. He was sure he had hooked the fish and then Mobius had blurted out, "He's lying. Just playing games. There's no one out there."

Loki blushed slightly as he thought about how he had been found out by Mobius at that moment. That's when his interest had been piqued, because Loki couldn't resist a challenge.

"You know Loki, it's almost cute how you have it bad."

"There's nothing funny about that." retorted Loki before resuming, "Fourth, my prince is someone I can lean on. He is a pillar on which you can rest. Imagine, Sylvie, we were working at the same desk and I fell asleep. And on top of that he let me sleep. You know he has this quiet strength. That thing that makes me know that with him I don't have to pretend anymore. But anyway, I was talking about Mobius, not me."

Sylvie moved closer to Loki and said with a smile, "From my point of view it's the same thing."

"What?"

"Nothing, go on."

Loki looked at her strangely before continuing.

"Fifth, my prince is listening. You know I talk a lot and three quarters of the time to say nothing important. But Mobius, even if I tell him something stupid, he listens to me as if it were the most important thing in the world. And most importantly, he really hears me. He can read between my lines and my metaphors, which he also loves. He's much better at getting people to talk than I am. He was able to see and make me say things about myself that no one had heard before. Sometimes I feel like he's the only one who knows who I really am."

Loki had to stop because the scene was still so present in his mind.

"I can't go back, can I? Back to my timeline. I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to."

Mobius' tone, his look, his whole being turned toward Loki when he had said just that, "Okay, explain that to me.

Then Loki told him that he knew he was a villain.

Mobius' simple but straightforward answer was, "That's not how I see it."

"Hey Loki? You okay?" Sylvie had put her hand on his arm, looking concerned.

Loki pulled himself together.

"Yeah I'm fine."

He coughed and continued, "My Prince Mobius has an incredible number of qualities but I've summarized them for you because we don't have enough time. So I'm going to conclude this lesson by telling you that the quality that attracts me most to him is that he's surprising. He surprises me all the time. Which is paradoxical after all, I am supposed to be chaos and he is supposed to be order. But he surprises me. Where everyone else hates me, he is there and sees qualities in me that even I don't see. When everyone wants me gone, he doesn't hesitate to put his own head on the line so that I don't get erased. Mobius is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. Because precisely, he doesn't put me on a pedestal but he doesn't make me feel inferior either. He treats me as an equal."

"Okay, okay, okay, it's fine he's a Prince. But the mustache though..."

Loki looked mischievously at her and leaning in close to her ear, he said softly, "His moustache is very nice when he kisses me."

"Loki!" she moved back and flicked him on the forehead.

He took a sip of champagne and they remained silent for a few moments.

"And you told him all this, well not in so many words of course?"

Loki's smile disappeared.

"Because of you, I didn't have the time. And I hope that all of this won't have ruined this beginning of a relationship.Anyway, I'll tell him when we meet again, or at least I'll try to, as long as he wants to listen to me..."

Sylvie smiled softly, clinked her glass against Loki's and said softly, "You're insufferable to the core, but I sincerely wish you'd have the chance to talk to him. "

Loki nodded, this time he was determined to fight, because for the first time it was his own happiness that depended on it.

_______

The whole serie here : The story of Loki and Mobius

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

#lokius #loki x mobius #loki #mobius m mobius #moki #wowki #sylvie laufeydottir #developing relationship

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miss-smutty · 3 years

Text

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 3

A/N- The secrets out! Well to you guys anyway 🤫

Summary- You've got a secret to hide and it's going to cause complete and utter destruction. It's only so long until your lies are going to catch up to you.

Word count- 3,258

Warnings- Swearing, lies, deceit, cheating

Pairing- Chris Hemsworth X you / Liam Hemsworth X you

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 25th May 2021

Taglist-: @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @mostly-marvel-musings

Chapter 1 + 2

"Morning babe, I tried to let you have a sleep in. I didn't wake you did I?" He asks, preoccupied with the washing up.

"No, I actually had a good sleep for once." You say nonchalantly while searching through the kitchen cupboards for a mug in a half asleep haze. "That's not going to last long when I have to spend the weekend in a hotel bed though."

Finally finding your favourite mug right at the back of the cupboard, you slam it on the counter a little more aggressively than you expected, startling you out of your daziness. Your boyfriend raises his eyebrow at you questioningly and you just shrug your shoulders back at him. It was definitely going to be one of them days, those days where nothing goes right. You would question what you'd done to deserve it but you already know the answer to that. You were just going to have to put up with karma kicking your ass at any given moment for the rest of your life.

"Aww I know babe, at least it's only two night's though." He comes up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist. "You've just reminded me -" He presses carefully, the way he shifts his composure telling you he's uncomfortable with what he's about to say and your heart begins to beat a little faster. " - I know you're going away tomorrow and I really wanted to have the night alone..." He pauses again.

"Just tell me, what is it?" You ask, trying to keep the annoyance from your voice.

"My brother called this morning, he sounds in a bad way so I said he can come over and hang out tonight. You don't mind do you?" Now your heart stops beating completely, what the hell is he playing at?

"I'm worried about him, he's not been right lately and he's going away for work tomorrow night too so it's the only time I can see him really." You're angry with him for saying he's going away too, how more fucking obvious can he make it? You're just both suspiciously going to be away with work at the same time. You can't protest about it now, you don't want to raise any more questions.

"No of course not, babe." You agree reluctantly, still seething with anger on the inside. "Right, I'm going for a shower and then I better start packing." You sulk.

"Do you want some help?" He ask as you kiss him on his cheek while you're passing.

"It's ok babe, you know how meticulous I am with my packing." You say smiling softly at him.

"Gotcha, I am not getting involved with that. Give me a shout if you want a coffee."

"You're the best."

****************

Using the tap to muffle the sound of your voice while you make a call. This was starting to become a habit now, the sound of running water in the background whenever you speak to him, a memory that you will never forget. Whenever you run your bath or fill the sink you're going to be reminded of your lying and cheating. Great! Just another thing to add to the list of things to look forward to in the future.

You never thought you'd be a cheater, especially to someone you loved and cared for so deeply. You'd always despised people who cheated, could never understand how people could have multiple lives and cheat multiple times. Naively thinking that if they weren't happy they should just tell the person they are with and stop all the hurt but it doesn't always work that way. You didn't suddenly think 'hey I'm not happy, I'm going to go fuck someone else'. You certainly wouldn't have chosen his brother if that was the case. Over the years it just happened and you hated yourself for it. You weren't even unhappy in your relationship, so that throws all your theories of 'cheaters' completely out of the window. The sound of the dial tone snaps you from your thoughts.

"Hi babe." He answers almost immediately, leaving you with no time to regain your composure. "Hello?"

"Oh erm.... Don't 'hi babe' me." Not a great start, you have to admit.

"What's wrong?" You can tell that Chris is amused with your tone of voice and it makes that anger resurface.

"You know exactly what's wrong, why the fuck are you coming over here tonight?"

"Erm to s-" you don't even give him time to speak before you interrupt him. You don't believe that he's just coming to see Liam, you know he's coming to see you no matter what he says.

"As if it's not awkward enough without having you both in the same house together... You have to cancel." The thought of them both being together with you filled you with fear. How were you supposed to act around them both? The idea of it fills you with chills.

"I'm not cancelling. I haven't seen him in a while and he invited me. It'll be fine, I'll be on my best behaviour, I promise. I get you all to myself tomorrow anyway."

"Exactly so why do you need to come over here and make everything all awkward?"

"Babe I'm coming to see my brother, you get me to yourself tomorrow. Don't be selfish" you could hear the amusement in his voice, you're sure he enjoys this.

"Pfft." A huff is about the only thing you could manage right now.

"You get to have both your favourite people in the same room, at the same time... Hey maybe we can have a threesome?"

"Fuck off." You murmur, although you have to admit the thought of it does turn you on slightly. In a perfect world that would be the best possible outcome but it's not a perfect world and that most definitely would never happen.

"I'll see you tonight, wear something sexy." He laughs.

"This isn't funny." You reply before hanging up the phone and you're left alone with the tormenting sound of flowing water.

This is going to be a disaster, you can't help but think that tonight is the night it all comes out. Surely this isn't what he has planned, he wouldn't want to hurt his brother in such a viscous way. To announce at dinner that he's fucking his girlfriend and that they've been going behind his back and fucking for years. Surely not? You're pretty sure you're being paranoid but know you're going to be on the edge of your seat all night, frightened everytime he opens his mouth to speak.

**************

You're sure you've downed almost a full bottle of wine before he's even arrived, you try to remember how many glasses you've had when you finally hear the dreaded chime of the doorbell. Your head is dizzy with bubbles already, your stomach churning at the thought. It wasn't the cleverest of ideas to drink so much already, not when you need to be sharp and aware of what you're doing and saying. Fuck.

The way Chris' eyes light up when he sees you reminds you exactly why this is all worth it. You feel your nerves settle slightly now the first step was over and it wasn't so bad was it? You don't know what you were actually expecting, him to walk through the door and kiss you passionately sounds about right though.

"Chris! Hi, how you doing?" You act, standing on your tiptoes to hug him. It's so hard acting like he's your brother in law and not your... Boyfriend? Lover? You don't even know what to call him.

"Hi, beautiful." He whispers into your ear, making your stomach flip when you feel his lips graze against your neck. "I'm good thank you, how are you guys?" He says louder, moving away from your arms reluctantly and standing against the counter. The glint in his eyes and the smirk on his lips make him look sexy as hell, you bite onto your lip as hard as you can. Hoping to draw blood so you can concentrate on the pain and not the fact you want to rip your boyfriend's brothers clothes off.

"We're great" Liam replies.

"I'm sure you are." Chris says sarcastically under his breath, luckily Liam didn't hear him. You give Chris the glare, reminding him to be on his best behaviour.

"But how are you? You didn't sound too good the other day." Liam asks, opening a bottle of wine.

"I was probably just tired bro, you know how it is. I don't get much sleep nowadays."

"Oh yeah, is a woman involved by any chance?" Liam asks, laughing to himself.

"Yeah, something like that." Chris subtly grazes your hand as you walk into the kitchen to help Liam. You freeze on the spot, looking into his eyes you see a desperately pleading look. You know this is torture for him, that he just wants to grab you and hold onto you. Even though he tries his best not to, he hates his brother for it, he hates that he gets to have you.

"Anyway, it smells great in here. What you making?" Chris says locked in eye contact with you.

"I've just thrown together some dinner." You say casually, although deep down your heart is tugging and your hands are shaking.

"Her food is fucking amazing, I probably should have made sure you hadn't eaten first though?" Liam puts his arms around you and kisses your cheek as you carry on stirring the food on the stove. You're glad you have your back to Chris because you dread to think of his reaction. How you have to pretend you don't know each other on that deep level. You had tried to warn him that this was a bad idea.

"Yeah, no that would be awesome. Thanks" You can tell by the way his voice broke that this is causing him pain and there's nothing you can do about it.

**************

"Do you want a beer or are you ok with wine?" Liam asks Chris as you sit down at the table ready to eat.

"I'd love a beer bro" Chris replies. You watch from the corner of your eye as Liam heads to the fridge, your heart beating a little faster now he's out of sight. Looking to Chris nervously.

Chris takes the opportunity while Liams back is turned and grabs your hand under the table. Stroking your palm with his thumb he mouths the words 'love you'. You can't help but feel sorry for him, this horrible situation you're all in. You mouth the words back to him before he lets your hand go when Liam comes back into sight.

All the way through the meal Chris can't take his eyes off of you, you're worried Liam will notice but he's paying no attention. Obviously he has no reason to doubt his loyal girlfriend and protective big brother, why would he? Which makes your betrayal even more unbearable.

"This is great Y/N." Chris says after tasting your food and moving your dress a little higher so he can place his hand on the top of your bare thigh under the table. The shock makes you jump and you hit your knee on the top of the table.

"Are you alright?" Liam asks looking slightly confused.

"Sorry, yeah. I just burnt my mouth." There's a slight hint of amusement in your words, you're a bad person but the situation is just too much not to find it slightly funny. The feel of Chris' hand on your thigh makes you feel butterflies in your stomach at the same time as the deep sick feeling of dread, your mind in a giant conflicted turmoil of feelings.

You can see Chris is also trying to hide his laugh as he takes a sip from his beer, one hand still on your thigh. Why the fuck am I sat in the middle? You hadn't thought about it when you'd sat down but now realise it was a massive mistake and also subconsciously the perfect place for you. The playing piece in a match against brothers, only one player is unaware there is any contest at all.

Chris finishes his beer and puts it down on the table loudly, filling the awkward silence between you all. You can understand the awkwardness between you and Chris but why is Liam not speaking? He wanted to see Chris to figure out what was wrong with him but he's not asking any questions. Has he figured it out? Did he see Chris touch your hand earlier? Had he seen you both whispering? You wriggle in your chair, feeling deadly uncomfortable and hoping Chris would move his hand. He didn't take the hint.

"Do you want another?" Liam asks Chris, already getting up from his chair and not waiting for an answer. Something is definitely wrong. Chris's hand moves further up your thigh, grazing the lace of your panties with the tip of his long finger. He's also completely oblivious to your awkwardness, drinking too much is numbing his senses and becoming dangerous. He's playing with fire.

You fling your chair back from the table, standing abruptly, your cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and nervousness.

"I'm just gunna get some more beers from the basement." Liam announces, Chris sat cooly in his chair with not an ounce of nervousness.

"It's ok I'll go, you guys have a chat." You say, desperately needing to escape for a minute to catch your breath.

"Don't be silly, it'll only take me a minute." Liam says, already walking towards the door.

Chris takes his cue again, standing from his chair and moving over to you. Standing closely so he can whisper in your ear, his arm pressed to the small of your back while he holds you against him.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed again tomorrow Y/N. I've waited too long."

"Chris, shh."

"No, you shh. I wish I had you now, right here. I could just sit you up on this counter and fuck you right here -" He moves his hand up your skirt, gripping your ass in his big hands. "- You want that don't you? Tell me." His teeth graze the skin on your neck, making your head hang back loosely. You want it so bad, all your tension melts away as your muscles relax in his arms.

"We've got all weekend Chris, we can't do this here. It's too risky." You sigh, carefully wrapping your arms around his neck and listening for any sign of Liam.

"Fuck I know but it's so hard being here with you and not being able to fucking touch you." He moves away from you, running his hand though his hair in frustration.

"I told you how hard it'd be." You say.

"How hard what would be?" Liam asks breathlessly. Fuck. You hadn't heard him coming back, how much more had he heard?

You're lost for words, completely frozen in shock. If he hadn't heard or seen anything it was still way too close for your liking.

"To shoot this ball of foil into that bin from all the way over here." Chris replies hastily, you're incredibly impressed with his quick thinking.

"Let me have a go then." Liam says, taking the foil from Chris. Typical competive brothers. Chris turns to you and winks devilishly, you're perfectly aware of how desirable he looks but you try to push that thought aside. You can't be thinking about that, the things he had just been saying and the thrill of almost being caught, all at once.

"My turn." You say raising your eyebrows at them both as you swing your hips, confidently over to the fridge. Chris bites his lip as he watches you walk over. "Watch and learn boys." This is quite possibly the strangest situation you've ever been in but you might as well make the most of it.

You shoot your shot and land the foil ball straight into the bin. Turning around and bowing, you're wide eyed when you straighten back up. They both moved towards you as if they were going to kiss you, luckily Chris stopped himself in time.

"Only you could've landed that shot." Liam says, picking you up in his arms, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him while he kisses your lips deeply.

You risk a glance at Chris over Liam's shoulder and he's seething with anger, you can see it written all over his face.

"I'm gunna go outside for some air." Chris announces blankly while Liam sets you back on the ground, a look of concern on his face.

"You alright bro?" Liam asks with no reply from Chris as he walks out of the door.

You get on with the cleaning up, distracting yourself and hoping Liam hadn't noticed Chris' reaction. You can sense Liam behind you, stood on the spot thinking. He's working it out, he's putting together all the pieces and finally working it out.

"I've worked out what's wrong with Chris." He comes up behind you, emptying the plates into the trash. Fuck, here we go.

"What do you mean?" You ask gently, not really wanting to hear his conclusion.

"You know, the reason why he's been moping about all the time." You don't turn around, you just listen, hiding your face and any reaction you're showing. "Well he's quite obviously jealous of us." He adds. There we go, he's worked it out or he's definitely worked out Chris' part in it all.

You felt your stomach drop, Chris was so obvious it wouldn't take a genius to see something was wrong.

"What makes you say that?" You press, carefully. Your back still turned to Liam while you clean the surfaces.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice how he just acted when I kissed you." Of course you noticed, you just hoped Liam hadn't. It won't be long until he puts all the pieces together and figures this all out, if he hasn't already. You pour the last of the bottle of wine into your glass, gulping it greedily. Lord knows you're going to need it.

"He needs a girlfriend, can't you fix him up with one of your friends?" You can't describe the relief you feel right now and a small twang of jealousy at the thought of Chris with one of your friends.

"I'm sure your brother isn't short of admirers Liam, he doesn't need me to fix him up" Your tone of voice was a little too short. Pull it together.

"I suppose you're right but he doesn't have the best taste in women does he?" You can feel your cheeks burning, you're fighting the urge to defend yourself. Telling Liam his brother had the same taste in women when it came to you, wouldn't go down quite so well would it?

"I'm seeing someone actually Liam." Chris says, overhearing your conversation as he came back in after finally composing himself.

"Oh really? You never said." Liam asks curiously.

"Yeah, we're keeping it to ourselves for now... Until she tells her boyfriend." What the actual fuck? You can't believe he's just said that, he looks at you defiantly, completely over this whole thing.

Liam nearly spat his drink out and you're sure your cheeks are beetroot red, you don't have a clue what to do in this situation.

"Is she married? Do I know her?" Liam questions further. You're hoping and praying he stops with the questions, Chris is ready and willing to come clean, you can tell by his expression.

"No not married but you do know her. You know her really well actually." Chris says while avoiding your gaze purposefully...

#chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #smut #angst #liam hemsworth #read this #thor #thor series #thor smut #fanfic #chris fanfiction #fanfiction

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casmybelovedass · 4 years

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The Destiel Folder: Season 7

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6]

This season is mostly Dean being a depressed bi who can't cope with his crush's death.

This is, in my opinion, the season where Dean actually starts realizing he might for real think of Cas as something more.

Episode 1:

Cas is basically gone, both Bobby and Sam (almost) are ready to compel to whatever he says, but Dean still tries to get him to come back. "You can turn this around. Please!" (3:13) Denial

Dean has no idea how to deal with God!Castiel, but desperate to find him, and getting emotional "I don't even know what book to hit for this." "Then figure it out!" (5:47) Anger

As we have said many times already, angels don't have a sex, Castiel is not a man, and as he states, he is "utterly indifferent to sexual orientation" (8:03), and so is Chuck, God himself, who has admitted having had both girlfriends and boyfriends.

Dean turns off the news the moment he hears a woman describe Cas as "young and sexy", while doing that jaw clentch thing of his (10:14) ... huh... [and this doesn't really matter, but after this we immediately see Dean in a purple flannel. PURPLE! Go Bi!Dean]

"He's not a guy, he's a God [...] Cas is never coming back. He's lied to us, he's used us, he's cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk. We've spent enough on him." (11:09) Dean trying to jump to the 5th stage of grief. Yeah, no baby that's not how it works

Dean tries so hard to convince himself that Cas's gone so he can kill him, but can't really. "Just kill him now!" and struggles hard to hold Castiel's glare. And as soon as Death offers a second option to killing him, Dean takes it. Bargening

"Dean, look, I know you think Cas is gone." "That's because he is." (31:22) Again with trying to jump to acceptance. Not doing great, Dean. In fact, "Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some asian cartoon porn. And act like the world's about to explode, because it is." (32:17) There it is. Depression.

[Remember this: Dean has no shame in watching porn in front of his brother. Wait a few seasons and see]

Just moments earlier, Dean was all "That's not Cas, Cas is dead" and shit, and now he goes "What? You need something else?" worried-husband-mode the moment Cas asks for help (34:50). Also#MARRIED (35:16)

Bobby: "Where's Sam? It's go time." Dean: *looks back at Cas worried* (37:12)

MUST HELP HUSBAND (38:06) look at Dean's eyes!!! They're like 'It's okay, it's okay. You've got this.' "I'm sorry, Dean." Cas chose these words to be his last, thinking he was going to die. LOOK AT DEAN (38:21) ICWAW this would MEAN SOMETHING ELSE

"CAS! [...] Is he breathing? ... Maybe angels don't need to breathe." says the one who was going around saying Cas was gone for good. "He's gone, Dean." "... damn it... *tears up* Cas, you child... Why didn't you listen to me." #MARRIED (39:15) Then he goes "CAS?!" as soon as he starts breathing again. ICWAW, we would SCREAM "LOVE" in this scene

"Imma find some way to redeem myself to you *looks at Dean straight in the eyes*" "*looks at Cas up and down*... Alright, well, one thing at the time, come on. Let's get you out of here." "I mean it, Dean." *eye love-making* "... Okay." (40:30) ICWAW, oooohhh, the meanings this scene would have...

Dean's face when the Leviathans tell him Cas is dead. Again. (41:18)

Episode 2:

Dean looking at the Leviathans occupying Cas' body. The HATE (1:44)

"... okay... so he's gone. *shakes while tearing up* [...] Dumb son of a bitch..." (5:14) Here we go again... I'm fine, shut up

Dean picks up, washes, folds and keeps Cas' coat (5:23) SWEET

"You just lost one of the best friends you've ever had." this hurts me. "... I'm fine, really." (12:11)

"You asked me how I was doing? Well, not good." (38:54)

Episode 5:

Dean progressively drinks more as his nightmares get worse and he misses Cas more and more. 3 times we see him drink, only in the first 12 minutes.

Sam can tell Dean feels like shit, and bet one of those reasons is Cas "Like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about, it doesn't just go away. It builds up." (39:33) Yeah, and not only problems or grief... even love

Episode 7:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean totally got hit on by the waiter. LOL (7:30)

And again. What is it with men in this town and Dean. "We're looking for a necklace." "Romantic. *looks at Dean*" (12:17). Is it an energy reading thing or something? Can they feel the bi energy?

"The Campbell brothers. [...] They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, uhm... alternative life style." (22:40) Huh... I guess calling your lover "brother" runs in the family

"Ever since Cas... I'm having a hard time trusting anybody." (40:44) ouch

Episode 9:

Dean is drunk/high on Leviathan juice, and the first thing he thinks and blabbers about, is Cas (19:48) "I don't even care anymore." Oooohh ICWAW... the possibilities for this scene

Episode 12:

Dean totally checked out that man in uniform. FIGHT ME (16:27)

Episode 13:

"You're head's not in it, man. When Cas died, you were wobbly, but now-" "Now what!!" (39:35) as soon as Sam mentions Cas' death, Dean gets snappy

Episode 17:

Dean keeps getting snappy whenever Sam mentions Cas

"OH my God the love of my life is alive!" (13:02-13:06)

Dean's face when Daphne touches Cas (13:25), and when he calls her his wife (13:41)

AND HIS FUCKING FACE TRYING NOT TO TEAR UP BECAUSE CAS DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT HIM (14:16)

You mean to tell me that ICWAW this wouldn't be seen as a mini desperation moment from a man seeing his lover in this situation? Yeah, I don't think so

"What if you were some sort of... I don't know, bad guy." "I... I don't feel like a bad person." Dean's face is like "Damn right you aren't" (16:50)

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Dean looking at him... can't even answer the question (19:59)

Dean says Cas' betrayal is something he cant get over like everything else. And that he doesn't know why. "It doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters!" (20:25)

Dean gets visibly uneasy about Meg being so close to Cas (25:34) jealous boyfriend is jealous

Dean doesn't want Cas to remember, afraid he'll leave again (32:18)

"I've known you for years!" (32:34) poor baby. Also "You're an angel." "Uhm, I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" DEAN'S FACE (32:42)

Dean doesn't want Cas to be hurt by his own memories and past actions (33:00)

"You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Yeah, look at that reaction. Let's see how he reacts to being called his boyfriend later on (33:09)

#MARRIED!!! I'll just leave this. No comment (33:41)

As Cas regains his memories, only 2 of the ones we see are not of Dean. And the only one we hear is the "I'm sorry, Dean." . That is what matters to Cas (and this looks like a slash video. Kudos to the editors) "I remember you... I remember everything." Yeah, no-homo save (34:35)

Not even an hour earlier, Dean was ranting about Cas betraying him, how he couldn't forget and forgive him, and now he is saying Cas did "the best you could at the time", but Cas actually feels guilt and doesn't want Dean to defend him, but Dean does anyway (36:53)

"We didn't part as friends, Dean." "*looks at Cas up and down*... So what?" "I deserved to die." the look on Dean's face (37:18)

Dean gives Cas his trench coat back. The trench coat he kept, folded and all the the truck, for weeks. And that's not even Baby. So he moved the coat, to always have it with him (37:26). I'm not crying, shut up

Also, here, have a deleted scene that breaks my heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Episode 20:

Let us all appreciate that one time Dean helped a lesbian flirt with a dude (24:27-25:03)

Episode 21:

Dean is devastated about Cas' mental state, that he did that to himself to save Sam. Look at his eyes in this scene (16:08). Also, Dean still resents Cas for the whole 'New God' crap, but it feels like the real reason is the fact that he left (19:18)

"Cas! Don't make me pull this car over!" "Are you angry? Why are you angry? *puppy eyes*" "... No I-I'm..." #MARRIED (27:28)

Cas says he won't fight anymore, but as soon as Dean's in trouble, he FLIPS

"The angels... they don't care... I think maybe they don't have the equipment to care." (31:49) Touchy much, Dean?, are you trying to convince yourself about that? It feels like he's making excuses to not let himself feel anything for Cas. "It seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart." ... OK, fuck everything, ICWAW this would totally be seen as romantic angsty reference to Cas

Cas is so lost in his guilt for what he has caused. He looks like a baby, and it gets worse when it comes to Dean

"Why should we give you anything? After everything you have taken from us? The very touch of you curropts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!" (36:50) okay damn, ICWAW all of this would seem as if they were talking about a love relationship between the two and you can't tell me otherwise

'HURT HUSBAND-MUST PROTECT MODE' (37:17)

"The bone of a righteous mortal and the blood of a fallen angel" ... shut up, I'm dying over these clues (39:11)

"What are you gonna do, Cas?" Dean's eyes are begging him to stay. ICWAW, we would point that out without a shadow of a doubt (39:40)

Episode 23:

"Dude... on my car. He showed up naked... covered in bees!" ... come on, ICWAW this would be a HUGE deal (5:10)

"Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first." (8:51) LISTEN HERE. I study psychology, and one of the first things they teach you is that jokes are based on the truth. HOW MANY OF THESE JOKES WERE MADE?! HUH??!! (plus all the "Dick" jokes Sam made) Also Dean's reaction with the jaw clentch... just saying

Cas keeps stating he doesn't want to fight, but again, Dean's in trouble? FIGHT MODE

"*soft shoulder touch, puppy eyes, serves Dean a sandwich*" ... SOFT #MARRIED COUPLE (18:27)

"You got anything to say on the topic of dicks?" you'd like that, wouldn't you, Dean? (26:42)

Cas is afraid he will do something to cause Dean more trouble. Let's remember he chose what he believed were his last words to be "I'm sorry, Dean.", but as we know, Dean deals with feelings by showing anger... Cas gets upset and copes by playing twister... pathetic. "I can't help. [...] I destroyed everything and I will destroy everything again!" for a moment, Cas is lucid, and expresses his fear, but as soon as Dean gets angry with him, Cas gows back to hide in his world of crazy (26:47)

"I'm not good luck, Dean." "... You know what? [...] I'd rather have you. Cursed or not." Look at Cas' soft little smile as it grows. ICWAW, this would be read as another confession (32:38)

"I'll go with you." SOFT

SEE??! The MOMENT Dick threatens Dean, Cas goes full Angel of the Lord on his ass. MUST PROTECT HUSBAND (36:52) and the utter shock on Dean's face is priceless

And here comes PurGAYtory

[Season 8>>]

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pixie88 · 3 years

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Delilah

Chapter 1 - Alone - Third A&E Series.

A/N: I originally posted this on a side blog but I was having trouble switching between the two and I also didn’t want to start again. As I said there this A&E series is a lot more darker, hitting RL subjects I have been through myself please don’t judge me as you can’t make me feel an worse than I have made myself in the past. The stigma around these subjects are real and so many people don’t speak out about them. Friends and family don’t even know the secrets I will reveal in these chapters as I am ashamed and worry about what they will think. I hope this helps even just one person realise they aren’t alone. I hope you like it 😘

I’m not going to annoy people with re-tags, so I’m not tagging in these first two chapters as most my usual tags have read it.

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1905

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Angst & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

A Year and a half after the last chapter of A&E Together.

"She's beautiful, Ellie! A girl! We have a little girl," she looks over to him feeding their daughter. All the panic and worry was worth it! She thought to herself as she's getting stitched up.

16 week's earlier.

This pregnancy had been harder on her than Charlie's, her morning sickness had carried on until 24 weeks, she was in pain with her hips and back. Adam made her give up work at 32 weeks. She was reluctant, but knew he was right, plus at home, she could do more research on shops for sale in London.

By the time she had hit 36 weeks she had found the perfect shop, they had a cheeky weekend away in London to view the property while Ellie's mum had Charlie for them. Being heavily pregnant they didn't do much sight seeing, but they did spent a lot of time tangled beneath the sheets in the hotel room. This would probably be the last time in a long time they would have time alone, so they wanted to make the most of it.

When they arrived back home Ellie had to sort out the internal and external work. She had put in an offer and was in the proceeds of owning the new shop being, so close to the end of her pregnancy Adam took over all the dealings of the new shop not wanting his wife stressed. 40 weeks Ellie woke on her due date irritated and fed up with being pregnant their little lady showed no signs of wanting to come out.

That afternoon Ellie was in the bathroom when she thought her water had broken, looking down at the floor, she was expecting to see clear waters but instead she saw crimson red puddles of blood. She calls out to Adam who was downstairs soon rushed up to his panicked wife. Shock grew on his face as he saw what had her so panicky. He quickly regained his composure, trying not to worry his heavily pregnant wife.

Adam quickly called her midwife who told them to head to the hospital after dropping Charlie at Elaine's door. He helped an hysterical Ellie into the car. On the way her contractions started they were very close together so when they arrived, he practically had to bridal carry her out to the car with her bag to the labour ward where they handed him a wheel chair. Once in the delivery suite and after a few puffs of gas and air Ellie start to calm down she was so mellow that she wasn't even bothered when the doctor took a sample of her blood, she usually hated blood tests but the gas and air had worked its magic.

When the doctor came in Ellie was completely out of it. Between contractions, she was drifting, those few seconds between each one felt like heaven "Sorry, did you say your name is Doctor Curry? I bet you had the korma taken out of you at school!" she laughs at her own joke, then apologizes when she realised what she had said "Don't worry, I know it's the gas and air talking believe me, I've had worse. We are just going to listen to baby and see how they are! OK?" She nods.

After 10 minutes whooshing the doctor and midwife didn't look very happy with the result "What's wrong?" She asked him. He had that look all doctor have when they're about to tell you bad news "You baby's heart beat keeps dipping" tears started forming in her eyes "Dipping? What do you mean?" He hands her a tissue "Mrs Barlow, we want to deliver your baby as safely as possible and with the fluctuations of their heart beat you have an hour to deliver this baby, or we will have to take you down to theatre for an emergency c-section" her heart sank "But how am I going to have a baby in less than an hour? She just said I'm only 3 centimetres" She looks up at Adam, he's calm which soothe her.

"Well, we need to first break your waters, hopefully that should speed things along a bit. So, I'm going to leave Charlotte here to do that and I will be back in half an hour to see how you are doing" DR. Curry makes his way for the door. "Ellie, after your next contraction I'm going try and break your waters. So, I need you to tell me when it's over, OK?" Ellie nods the next contraction comes and goes. Charlotte successful breaks her waters "That feels so warm!" Ellie laughs just as the next contraction starts to build.

"Oh my god! I feel like I need to push!" She screams as the contraction takes hold. "Ellie if you need to push, then push, but little pushes!" Scared her body is tricking her, she refuses "I can't! You said I was only 3 centimetres. I'm not ready!" She hisses at Charlotte "Hey Ellie, listen to me if that's what your body wants to do then do it. I will keep an eye if nothing happens we will stop! OK? You need to trust what your body is telling you to do!"

The next contraction build she begins to push... crashing Adam's hand in the process until it fades again "You're doing brilliant, beautiful" Adam kisses her forehead "Anything?" She asks her midwife "Well, I can see the top of baby's head..." She's cut off by the next contractions "There's the head" Charlotte tells her "With the next contraction she'll be here" another starts and Ellie pushes again "And here she is 7:43PM welcome to the world little one!" Charlotte says as she cleans her up.

"Ellie, you did it again! She's here!" Adam cups her face and kisses her lips "Skin to skin?" Charlotte asks, Ellie nods "I'll just get Daddy to cut the cord" she looks over to Adam and hands him the scissors. He proudly cuts through the cord before Charlotte moves her to Ellie's chest "Does she have a name?" Charlotte looks at both of them "We're still haven't decid..." she cuts Adam off "Delilah!" Ellie looks up at Adam as the brightest smile appears on his face "Aww that's lovely! Where did you get that from?" She asks the pair.

"It was my Nan's name" Adam says not quite believing she finally had a name and a name that means something to him. "That's sweet! Ellie do you want to give Delilah to Daddy while we get this afterbirth delivered?" Charlotte places Delilah in a towel passes her to Adam as DR. Curry walks in "How are we do...oh baby is here! Wow how long did that take?" He looks over to Charlotte "15 minutes after I broke her water. She had the urge to push right away!" He looks at her stunned "Whoa! That's amazing have you requested her IV drip yet?"

Ellie looks confused "IV drip?" He looks over to her "We estimated you probably lost just over a pint of blood. This will just stop anymore bleeding" Charlotte smiles at a worried Ellie "Nothing to worry about its just because you've lost more than usually. It's routine"

"I'll go and get what we need. While you finish up in here" DR. Curry says as he leave the room.

Later, Charlotte has shift had ended and a new midwife had taken over "When can I go for a shower?" Ellie asks her new midwife Demi she wanders over checks the IV drip monitor "You have another 45 minutes on this then you should be OK" another midwife walks in and calls Demi out of the room a few minutes later she comes back in "We are going to have to move you up to postnatal ward now" Ellie looked shocked with Charlie's Labour she was allowed to have a shower before heading up.

Her legs were still covered in blood as well as her hospital gown. She got off the bed with her IV drip and into a wheelchair, Adam close behind with Delilah. She gets into her cubicle and take a seat in the chair after the midwife leave, she bursts into tears Adam puts Delilah down in her cot and rushes over to his wife "Hey, what's up beautiful?"

She looks up at him "Everything I'm covered in blood, I'm still in this awful thing. I want get into bed, but I can't sit on there like this! I want to cuddle my baby, but my arms are cover in blood. I feel dirty like I'm a cast member of the walking dead! And from what it sounds like we have a snorer the other side of this stupid curtain" He lifts up his wife's chin "Watch Delilah I'll be back in a minute" he gets up and leaves the cubicle through the curtain.

10 minutes later he comes back with a wheel chair and a midwife "You help her into the chair and grab her bag I'll grab baby" the midwife tells Adam. Wiping her tears she looks up at him "What's going on?" He smiles at her "You'll see now come on!" He lifts her out of her chair and into the wheel chair. They walk down the hall and through a door. Once inside she spots another bed and a bathroom "Adam?"

She looks up at him "This was the last one they had!" She looks at him still confused, he laughs, "£90 a night for a private room with a bath in the bathroom and this lovely lady has said if you've had over 80 percent of that drip she'll take it off you, so you can go for a soak" her eyes well up and she starts to cry again.

"It suppose to make you happy not sad!" He laughs, "Happy tears!" The midwife smiles at them both as she catches sight of Ellie, she shook her head "Oh dear, look at the state of you! They let you come up here like that! You poor thing, let me put her next to the bed and get you off this. Even if I have to put you back on after you can't sit like that!" She puts Delilah next the bed and takes Ellie off the drip before helping her to the bathroom.

20 minutes later all fresh from her shower, she emerges from the bathroom in her own comfortable clothes. Adam is changing Delilahs nappy. He looks up "Feeling better?" She smiles as she nods at him before she gets onto the bed next him. She places a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you!" He looks over to her "Why are you thanking me? You did all the hard work!" He places Delilah back in her cot "You were calm while I was losing it! I crashed your hand and you spent money on a hospital room just to make me happy!"

He laughs, "I did have my own motives! No one, not even me was going to sleep with a motorbike snoring next door!" he pulls her to his chest and pulls over the blanket over the both of them "We better sleep while she does. So, night beautiful!" She kisses his cheek "Night! I love you!" She feels him chuckle "I love you more"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 2.

#a&e #adam x mc #alone #fictionalstory #angst #child birth #pnd

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

The Deal

Illinois x gender neutral!reader

@lawfluff-evil ty for the prompt

A/N: It got to be way too long so I split it into two parts lol. Rated T for cursing. Second part will be posted soon, probably.

Word Count: 1.9k

Part 2

"Oh hey, sorry if you fell in love with me. They always do…" and just like that, Illinois saunters out of the cave, leaving you with a rock and a banana. Cocky bastard you think. You look at the items in your hands, wondering what the hell you're supposed to do now. Some dust must have made its way to your nose because you sneeze. The rock turns to dust revealing a diamond inside. You gape, inspecting it for a moment before turning to the banana. You did get them from the same place…

You peel it.

Lo and behold, it's not just a banana, it's a golden banana. You ponder leaving and keeping all the treasure for yourself. Well, he didn't do anymore than you. Besides, he's the one who left you. You decide against it because, sadly, deep down, you're a good person. You run towards the exit, where Illinois went, hoping to catch up with him. You're far behind him, it seems, because you don't find him even after you exit the cave, where you find Mark. His suit is tattered and dirty and he's panting like he was just running for his life. Which… he was… technically. He looks up at you and glares.

"Thanks a lot, buddy, where the hell were you while I was getting chased by a sentient Boulder?!" He yells. You hold up the diamond and the gold. He raised his eyebrows.

"Forget everything bad I've ever said about you," he laughs and limps over to you. You wince at the sight and start to feel bad. "Where'd you find this?" You point to the cave. He laughs.

"We'll be rich! At least something good came out of the heist!" You furrow your eyebrows. Mark notices this and his smile falters a bit. "What's wrong?"

"I want to find someone," you say.

"You met them in there?" He asks. You nod. "Did he come out this way?" You nod again. Mark sighs. "Well… you brought this back… I guess it's the least I can do." You smile and throw your arms around him. He laughs and hugs you back. "Alright, don't get all mushy on me, now." He pulls back. "What does he look like?" You stare at Mark for a minute. He looks behind him, not knowing exactly what's happening. You bring your hand up and point to him. He points to himself. "He looks like me?" You nod. Mark crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Well, if he looks like me, how is he so special?" You tap your leg for a moment before answering.

"You know Indiana Jones?" You ask. Mark nods. You raise your eyebrows, expecting him to connect what you were saying. Mark laughs.

"He's Indiana Jones? Aw, are you a fan? Is that why you wanna see him again?" He teases. You glare at him and punch his arm. "Ah! Sorry sorry!" He stops laughing. "So, what's his name?" You pause, knowing what he's going to say as soon as you tell him, and he waits for your answer. You mumble incoherently. "Sorry?" He cups a hand around his ear and leans towards you. You take a deep breath.

"His name's Illinois…" you say. There's silence for a moment before Mark bursts out laughing. You almost start laughing too, but keep your composure.

"Illinois? Really?! Did he pick it himself?" He asks. You break and laugh as well. You both stand and laugh like idiots for a minute before stopping.

"So, uh… where exactly are we?" You ask. Mark shrugs.

"Something happened at the car… I think we teleported… somehow…" you punch the bridge of your nose.

"What even is today…" you sigh, annoyed. Mark chuckles and pats your shoulder.

"I know, I know," He consoles, Well, we should try to find society. Maybe we'll find your new boyfriend on the way" he teases. You scoff.

"One thing that I'm absolutely sure of is that he is not into me," you cross your arms.

"How do you know?" Mark asks. You clear your throat as you mimic Illinois' accent.

"Oh, and uh, sorry if you fell in love with me. Heh, they always do," you roll your eyes after you finish. Mark giggles.

"Oh no! He said that to you?" He asks sympathetically. You nod and sigh. He grabs your arm. "I am so sorry. But, if he doesn't like you, why do you what to find him?"

"Well, I wanted to return this diamond since he's the one who found the rock it was in," you explain. Mark stares at you like you're a crazy person. He takes a deep breath.

"That is uncharacteristically noble of you and I think we shouldn't," he says quickly. You gape at him.

"Mark!" You say accusingly.

"Well, he's the one who left before he found out! And he seems like a dick!" Mark sets his hands on his hips.

"He is a dick," you mumble angrily.

"Exactly! So… we can just… keep them! And sell them! And then we can be rich! Right? Wasn't that the purpose of robbing a museum in the first place?" He tries to convince you to keep the treasure. You sigh.

"No, Mark, we are good people…" you pause and Mark stares at you blankly. You start again. "We are… relatively fair people," he raised an eyebrow at you. You groan. "Ok we fucking suck. But this feels right! It's the right thing to do! Please, buddy? Pal? Friend?" You beg.

"Ugh, fine," Mark groans, "but I will use this against you at a later time." You smile and hug him. He tries not to, but grins and hugs you back. "So, which way should we go?" He asks.

"Oh, no, no, no," you chuckle, "you're not throwing this one onto me. You decide this time, sir."

"Oh. Uh… alright…" he rubs the back of his neck and looks around for a minute. "Uh… this way!" He points to the right of you, where there's a forest. You look at him weirdly, but follow him anyway. You two walk through the forest until you find a trail that leads you to a small village. You go up to a person.

"Excuse me, but, where are we?"

"Tijuana," the woman says. You feel like you've heard that before, but…

"Let me rephrase, what country are we in?"

"Mèxico," she answers. You turn to Mark.

"Mexico, Mark. We're in Mexico." You say.

"That's awesome. That's wonderful. That's great." He laughs, an angry tone in his voice. How the hell are we in Mexico?!" He yells. A couple people turn their heads, looking at him strangely. You set a hand on his shoulder.

"Easy, buddy. It's alright." You see a flash of red and look to the side of you. You see wheels as well. Your eyes widen. You walk to the car and see that it's the same one you used to escape from the museum. "Mark." You call.

"What?" He snaps.

"I found the car," You state. His eyes widen as he runs over to you.

"Holy shit, thank God" he sighs.

"So, I think it'd be about a two hour drive back to L.A., but we would need more gas…" you comment. You turn to the people that have gathered to see what you're doing. "Hi, um, is there… is there a gas station around?" A boy goes inside one of the houses and brings back a can of gas. You raise your eyebrows. "Oh, no, we couldn't-" He pushes it towards you.

"Tomas! Tomas*!" He pressures. You turn to Mark, who shrugs his shoulders. You hesitantly take the can from the boy.

"Gracias**," you thank. The boy nods and smiles.

"Oh, uh have you guys seen a guy? Looks kinda like me but with a hat?" Mark asks the people.

"Sí***, he went to the bar," A man explains and points to said bar. You and Mark walk over. You go inside and see that the only people inside are Illinois and the bartender. It makes sense, it's still pretty early. Illinois notices you and smirks.

"Well, look who came back?" He teases. "Miss me too much?" You stare at him, unamused.

"No." You say angrily.

"Sure you didn't." He chuckles. "Look, bud, i already said I was sorry if you fell in love with me. I also already said I was married to the adventure." He explains. Mark leans over to you.

"I'm not gonna lie, he is suave," Mark admits. You punch his arm. "Ow!" He whines.

"I didn't come back because I love you." You say, which is… partially true… but mostly false. "I can back because that rock you left me turned into this," Mark holds up the large diamond. Illinois' smile falls a bit. "And that banana I got wasn't a banana," you hold up your gold. Illinois looks at you two before regaining his composure standing up from the bar stool.

"Well, since that rock was found by me, you can hand it over here, partner," he holds his hand out for the diamond. Mark doesn't move. Illinois looks at his hand and back at Mark.

"Well… they were the one who actually found out it was a diamond… you, you cocky bitch, left. I feel like they deserve to keep it." He states. You look at him, smiling. He could be a dick, but he was still your best friend. Illinois blinks and scoffs.

"Oh, is that so? And who might you be?" He asks, putting his hands on his hips.

"I'm their best friend," he claims, "and I think they deserve this more than you do." You look at Illinois, worried. You didn't know if he was violent or not. He didn't seem like it, but you can't just assume. He squints at Mark, and then laughs.

"Ain't you a lucky one?" He turns and says to you, "That's some friend you got here. Tell you what, we'll go on another adventure. We'll split whatever treasure we find, but whoever finds treasure first gets to keep the diamond as well." He suggests. You look at him. He's arrogant. He knows he's gonna win. So do you. You could just walk away and keep the diamond, but you do want to spend time with him. Get to know him better. You're already in love, might as well ride the train till it stops. You take a deep breath.

"Alright," you agree, "let's do it." You reach out to shake hands. Mark stops you.

"You sure about this?" He asks, "We can just… go home. Head back to base. We don't even have to keep the treasure, we can just leave." You knit your eyebrows. He turns fully towards you and puts his hands on your shoulders. "I don't want you to get hurt. Please." Your eyes soften and you smile at him. You put your hands on his shoulders.

"I'm pretty smart, Mark, and I can take care of myself. I'll be fine." You try to convince him. He still looks worried. You hand him the golden banana. "Either way, we'll still have this." He smiles.

"Yeah… alright. Sure," he finally gives in, "but you better not die on me." He warns. You nod. You turn to Illinois, who still has his hand out for you to take. You shake it.

"Deal." You agree. He smirks.

"Let's get going."

---

*Take it! Take it!

**Thank you

***Yes

Pardon my Spanish, I'm on my second year lol

#ahwm #a heist with markiplier #ahwm illinois #a heist with markiplier illinois #illinois iplier #illinois markiplier #heistiplier #markiplier heist #markiplier #illinois x reader #illinois x male reader #illinois x female reader #illinois x gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #gender neutral reader

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