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crazyunsexycool · 4 months

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My Little Love

Chapter 32

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader

Word count: 5.7K

Warning: Some tears, little bit of angst, Sad Henry, Some seperation anxiety, some fluff

A/N: Our favorite family is back. Also it's the first official introduction to Steve's Honey. Although it's only for a brief moment. This also happens before all of the holiday one shots for this series.

Series Masterlist

There was fire in your veins. It traveled from the top of your head to your toes. The burning sensation wouldn’t stop even as you begged for some mercy. Leather straps dug into your flesh, cutting your skin and drawing blood. The more you struggled the worse it got.

A voice, familiar, cold and harsh made impossible demands. You begged some more. The only response you received was that same voice, mocking you and a stinging sensation across your cheek.

You couldn’t place the voice no matter how much you tried to remember. Where had you heard it before? A choked sob escapes you as the group of people around you move to ‘work’ on you.

****

Shallow ragged breaths fill the otherwise quiet room. Slowly a voice calls out to you. Dripping with love and innocence and concern. It pulled you out of the deep dark memories that were weighing you down.

“Mama, is kay now. No cwy.” Charlotte’s reassurance was spoken in a calming manner.

“It’s just a nightmare.” You heard Henry say as you finally opened your eyes.

Your body ached, your muscles were tense and sore but you realized that you weren’t in the living room anymore. At some point someone, most likely Bucky, moved you to the master bedroom. Immediately your mind went back to the nightmare, a memory really. You couldn’t shake that feeling of knowing who that voice belonged to.

“Mowning mama.” Lottie’s sweet sleepy voice pulls your attention as she gently caresses your cheek. She wipes away the tears that had fallen.

“Morning sweet Angel. Morning my sweet boy.”

It was a delight for them to hear those nicknames. They sat at either side of you and when you opened your arms they didn’t hesitate to snuggle up to you. You kissed the tops of their heads and just enjoyed being with them again. It was obvious by the sleepy looks in their eyes that you had woken them up. The door opens slowly and you manage to look over to see Bucky pop his head in. His smile is breathtakingly soft as he watches the three of you all cuddled up in bed.

“Daddy come on.” Henry patted the empty space beside him.

Bucky’s smile widened as he walked in and closed the door. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and gray sweatpants which meant that he had just woken up too. He had no problem taking up the empty spot next to his son. Instinctively Bucky’s hand finds yours, your fingers intertwine with his. Soon enough Henry starts telling you about the video games he and uncle Sam and uncle Josh played. Lottie tells you about her sleepovers with Olivia. You listen and ask all kinds of questions and for those few minutes you forget about the hell you lived through and the three months you had been separated. The four of you joke and laugh, share cuddles and kisses. Your heart feels light and it erases any memory of your nightmare.

There’s a knock on the door and when it opens it’s your dad. He informs you that your siblings are here. Reluctantly you let the kids go and got up, sitting at the edge of the bed. Henry took Charlotte’s hand and led her out to the living room, you could immediately hear your siblings greeting them.

“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked. He knew from experience that asking if someone was ok after a traumatic experience wasn’t the best way to get them to talk.

“Tired.” You murmured. “I had a nightmare, a memory really. I hate remembering.”

He shuffled around and sat next to you. Bucky’s arm moved behind you until it settled around your waist.

“I know Sugar. I hate to say it but it won’t always be easy. But I’m right here with you. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

You gave him a sad smile before resting your head on his shoulder. The two of you stay like that for a few minutes before you get up and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

****

Bucky had already joined your family in the living room. He’d advised them that you had woken up from a nightmare, that from the events that happened the day before you were probably still on edge and that it would be better to not get too excited or loud around you just yet.

“Hey.” You said as you stood at the edge of the living room. Unsure of what to do next.

“Y/N.”

Luke got up first and he made his way towards you. It was slow and cautious, almost as if he was afraid to scare a wild animal.

“Can I hug you?” He asked, although he kept his hands in his pockets instead of holding his arms out and not really giving you a choice.

“Yeah, that would be ok.”

Gently Luke pulled you into a hug and kissed the top of your head. You clung to him. The moment felt all too familiar. It brought you back to your childhood when you would get in trouble way before you had been alienated from your siblings. You realized you were crying harder than you meant to because Luke was swaying side to side and reassuring you that you were safe.

Next came Josh and Sofia, followed by Molly. All of them telling you how happy they were that you were safe. Olivia was the last to come up to you. Still shy around you but you couldn’t blame her, you had barely spent any time together.

“Hi auntie Y/N.” She says shyly, halfway hidden behind Molly’s legs.

“Hi Oli. Lottie told me you had a lot of sleepovers.” You had gone down to her level and she loosened her grip on Molly’s leg and shifted a tad bit closer.

“Yeah, she was sad a lot because she missed you.”

“I missed her too, but thank you because you kept her company.”

“I missed you too.” She reveals as she walks even closer to you. “You’re fun.”

“Yeah? I missed you too.”

Olivia is finally standing in front of you, her hands behind her back and she squirms around a bit. You play with her curls and smile at her.

“Can I hug you too?”

“I would really love a hug from you.”

She gives you a toothy grin and then her small arms wrap loosely around your neck. You pull her in and pick her up.

“Thank you for helping Charlotte and Henry while I was gone. You are the best cousin ever.” You whisper in her ear and she giggles. With a kiss to her temple you set her down.

There’s an awkward silence. You knew that they wanted to ask you about what you went through. There was no way you’d tell them. Some of it you didn’t even really remember.

“What do you need from us?” Luke asks as everyone settles down.

You blinked at him, confused at his question.

“We don’t want to overwhelm you.” Molly adds. “So whatever you need us for, we're here, just let us know.”

You nodded but you were at a loss for words. It was a lot to take in, in the last few hours. It hadn’t even been a full 24 since you were found so suddenly having so much control of yourself and freedom you didn’t know what to do.

“Shouldn’t you be meeting with Shuri?” Ed offered.

“Yeah we should. Are you ok with waiting here?”

“Of course, whatever you need.”

The information Shuri had for you was worse than you thought. There were several microchips implanted in your brain. Those along with a chemical component were being used to control you. Half of the issue was resolved when Yelena sprayed the antidote in your face a few hours ago. The other half was going to be complicated. You were going to need literal brain surgery to be completely free of hydra’s hold.

Bucky took you aside and for a while he just held you. It was overwhelming. The decisions you’d both have to make were difficult.

“Look at me Sugar.” Bucky murmurs as he pulls back. Your red rimmed eyes meet his bright blue ones. “I know it’s a lot more to ask of you. You’ve been through hell, I get it. But we have to do this. We have to go back to Wakanda and make sure those things are out of your head. I promise I’ll be right there with you. Then this will all be over.”

“What about the kids?”

Bucky sighs.

“But you just got back, you can’t leave mama.” Henry argues, he’s on the verge of tears.

“I know, sweet boy. I don’t want to go but the bad men hurt me and I have to go to Wakanda to get better like you, daddy and Lottie did.”

“But we were gone for so long.”

“Shuri thinks that it will take less time, bubs.” You tried to soothe him and run your hand up and down his arm but he pulled away.

“Why can’t we go with you? You went with us last time?”

“Bubba, mama needs to get bettuh.” Lottie speaks up for the first time. You had noticed she had been lost in thought, you’re sure she was having a vision.

“But daddy is going.”

“I’m going to be there to watch over mama during and after her treatments.” Bucky added.

Henry threw his arms around your neck and cried. He pleaded with you to take him but in reality you weren’t sure if your memory would be affected after the surgery or worse if you’d die because of it. You didn’t want either of them to see that and Bucky wouldn’t be able to watch them and take care of you at the same time. That’s what you tried to explain to Henry but he wouldn’t accept it. After going back and forth he just stepped away from you.

“Fine leave again then. I don’t care.” He all but yelled before running away, turning invisible as he did.

His reaction had you crying. He had been anxious while you were gone and now that he had you back you were leaving again. Henry’s reaction was completely understandable but it still hurt you. Lottie stood in front of you and offered you a smile. Her hair was much longer and she had it swept over her shoulder to one side as she played with the ends.

“Is kay mama. Bubba just scared. I make him not scared.”

“You’re gonna take care of him while we’re gone?”

“Mmhmm.” She nods as she places her arms and crosses them over your legs propping her chin on one of her free hands. “No be scared mama.” She taps her temple. “Mama be kay. I see it.”

You make a sound between a laugh and a sob before you pick her up. Lottie smiled at you and leaned into your chest. Leaving them again wasn’t going to be easy. In fact you were sure that the tightness in your chest had everything to do with being away from them.

****

Shuri and the Dora Milaje that stayed to protect her were already on their jet. You and Bucky would be leaving with them. There was not a lot of time from when you told the kids to when you’d actually leaving so you weren’t able to talk to Henry again. You didn’t want to leave things like that with him but the clock was ticking and you weren’t sure what hydra would be able to do to you. After you said goodbye to your family you and Bucky were at Bruce’s lab, getting some last minute information.

“This is a very awkward conversation to be having.” Bruce sighed.

“Is something wrong with Y/N?”

“No, not exactly.” Bruce cleared his throat but was going slightly red at the mere thought of having to discuss this. “I think you should um not- do certain things for the next three weeks.”

“What things Bruce?” You look at him confused. “No training or using guns?”

“No. I mean you shouldn’t do those things either.”

“Then what?” Bucky was getting irritated.

“Don’t have sex.”

You and Bucky turn to see a woman walking up to you.

“I’m sorry what? Who are you?”

“I’m Dr. Banner’s new assistant.” She offers you and Bucky her name. “I started a few weeks ago. Anyways, while running some tests on your blood samples we found high doses of medication used for fertility treatments.”

The reality of what this meant sat heavy in the air. They were preparing to use you for another winter soldier child and who knows what they would have done to you once you gave birth.

“She’s right. I’ll have Shuri monitor your levels but from now until you get back it’s best if you abstain from those activities. Unless of course you’re ready for more kids.”

“Bruce, just tell us not to have sex.” Bucky shakes his head and holds back a chuckle.

“Fine, don’t have sex. Now get out of my lab.” He chuckles. “I know you’re in very capable hands but good luck.”

“Thanks Bruce.” You also thank his assistant before heading out.

****

“So brain surgery, upset kid and now no sex. Things can only go up from here.” You tell Bucky as you sit back in the jet.

Bucky chuckles and shakes his head.

“They will. They have to.”

“I haven’t had the chance to say it but I’m glad you’ve let your hair grow out. I always wanted to play with your hair when you had it long like this.”

“You’re welcome to play with my hair as much as you want.”

You sigh and lay your head against his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, Sugar?”

You take a moment and tell him what’s bothering you. That voice in your dream and how you felt that you were supposed to recognize it. That there were things that you didn’t remember but that it was more than that, it felt that there was a wall blocking those memories. Bucky takes your hand and reassures you that everything will be ok. That most likely you just need to remove those microchips in your brain and everything will fall back into place. You can only hope that he’s right.

For days Shuri worked tirelessly to undo what hydra had done. It was difficult the first time you woke up to find out that the surgery was being done in sections. After two weeks of going between surgery and recovery, Shuri was finally done. It was complicated to say the least but it had been successful. You took one week to fully recover thanks to the serum.

****

It was a brisk night in Wakanda. The nightgown you had on did little to keep you warm but with all of the memories coming back to you it was a welcomed change. Some peace and quiet was exactly what you needed as you thought about how you would tell Bucky who had been hurting you and what you had learned and remembered.

“Sugar? Everything alright?” Bucky’s gravelly voice cuts the silence.

“Yeah, just another nightmare.”

“Mmm.” Bucky walks up and places his hands on your hips. You can feel his body warmth against your back. “Want to talk about it?”

Turning around you look up into his concerned blue eyes. You knew you had to tell him but you were scared at his reaction. Bucky pulls you into his chest, his hand running up and down your back in a soothing manner.

“I remember everything.” You mumble while blinking back tears. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“It’s ok Sugar. I know this part is difficult, remembering any part of it. Just tell me what you want, if you want too.”

“I remember the voice.” You start by saying. “I remember everything she told me, it was horrible.”

“She?” Bucky racked his brain trying to remember any high ranking female hydra officers but he couldn’t.

You pulled back to look at him, the truth was on the tip of your tongue but the weight of it kept you from talking. Bucky cupped your face and tilted your head so that you would look at him again. Your gaze was starting to unfocus and he called your name softly. One warm and one cold hand grounding you in reality. You weren’t strapped to that table anymore. There wasn’t a room full of men ripping you apart and figuring out the best way to put you back together. No, you are safe now. In the arms of the man that loved you and who might despise you in a moment.

“You’ll hate me.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed in confusion. There was a chance you weren’t coherent due to the surgery and medications.

“I could never hate you, Sugar.”

You blinked up at him owlishly while studying Bucky’s face. It might be the last time that he looked at you with so much love. With your hands wrapped around his wrists you take a deep breath. It was now or never.

“My mom.” Bucky tilts his head but waits for you to continue talking. “She’s the voice. She was the one in charge.”

You felt him stiffen.

“Your mother is hydra? Is your father? Your siblings?” A bit of panic in his tone.

You shook your head as he pulled away. He paced back and forth on the balcony.

“How? Why? I don’t understand.”

“Apparently all of the family on her side was hydra. But that’s not all.” You started crying then. Bucky stopped and looked at you.

“My great grandfather and grandfather they were both-“ you struggled to get the words out. It hurt to think that two of the people you loved the most were created at the hands of your family members.

“They what?”

You flinched slightly at the sharpness of his tone.

“They were both part of the winter soldier program and of developing the program for Henry, Charlotte and the boys.”

Bucky stared at you with slight horror. He takes a step away from you and then another.

“She was horrible. The things she told me.” You start to sob. “What she did to me as a kid was nothing compared to what she did this time.” You turn away from him and lean on the railing again. “The plans she had for me were evil. Having me hurt Charlotte and Henry was a fail safe plan. She knew it would kill me if they were hurt.” You hide your face in your hands and continue to cry over everything.

The sight of you crying over the things your family has done breaks Bucky’s heart. You flinch when you feel his hand on your back.

“Sugar, it’s over.”

“It’s not.” You shake your head. “She’s still out there. It’s not over until she’s dead.” You turn to look at him again with a pained expression. “As long as she’s alive we’ll never have peace.”

“We will. I promise you we will.”

Bucky pulls you into his chest and lets you cry until you can’t anymore. He had to put his feelings aside for the moment, this wasn’t about him and it wasn’t your fault. Deep down he knows you aren’t like the monster that your mother is, and neither is your family.

From the moment you told Henry you had to go to Wakanda he had been anxiously awaiting your return. He felt bad for not saying goodbye. It didn’t help that Charlotte called him out on ‘being mean to mama’ when you were already scared. All he wanted now was for you to come back so he could tell you that he didn’t mean it. He was scared too.

It also happened that he was sad at the thought that you would miss his first official birthday. It’s not that a party was the most important thing to him but Henry wanted to spend it together as a family.

So on the actual day no one could coax him out of his room. Not Eddie, Luke, Molly or Steve and Sam. Not even Lottie could convince him to go up to his party.

“But bubba is so nice. You habe fun.” Lottie rubbed his back in a comforting manner as he lay facing the wall.

“I don’t want to have a birthday party. You go and have fun baby.”

Lottie huffs in annoyance. “Kay.” She says as she walks out and closes the door.

A few minutes later there’s another knock and the door opens.

“I said I don’t want to go to the party.” Henry’s tone is stern.

“That’s ok sweet boy. What if we do something else, just the four of us?”

Henry sits up, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open as he turns towards the door.

“Mama, you’re back.” He says between choked sobs. Henry hops off the bed and runs into your waiting arms. “I’m sorry mama, I didn’t wanna be mean.”

“I know bubs. We were both scared.”

“I love you mama.”

“I love you too.” You kiss the top of his head and hug him for as long as he needs too. Pulling back, you cup his face with both of your hands. “Happy birthday.”

Soon he pulls away and moves to hug Bucky.

“Happy birthday bubs.”

“Thanks. Did you know they were coming back today?” Henry turns to look at Lottie who is giving him a mischievous smile.

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Is a suwpwise. Duh.” Lottie rolled her eyes.

“When did she learn how to do that?” You whisper to Bucky.

“She spent way too much time with Nat and Sofia.”

“Oh great.” You mutter. “So what do you say sweet boy, party or family hang out?”

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you rest?”

“I had all the rest I needed for now. Besides your dad and I made sure to pick a good theme for your birthday. Are you sure you don’t want to go see it at least?”

“You picked it?” Henry asks while looking at both of you wide eyed.

“Of course. Well it was your dad’s idea. I wish I would have been able to plan it though.” You gave Henry a sad smile.

“I wanna go to the party.” He says excitedly.

“Let’s go then.”

****

As always Tony out did himself. The largest of the shared living rooms had been turned into a fully functioning arcade. All types of retro arcade games were set up around the room, one of the bars had been turned into a prize booth and even the lighting was perfect. Anything you could find in an arcade you found here and there were even some of Henry’s favorite things available too.

There were banners hanging up that said ‘gamers don’t age, they level up’. Henry was wide eyed as he looked around and found that all of his favorite people were there including Sam’s nephews and Clint’s older son. Still it wasn’t packed with people which you greatly appreciated.

“Can I go play?” Henry looked up at you and Bucky.

“Of course bubs, it’s your birthday.” Bucky nods.

“I’ll find you later. C’mon baby let’s go.”

Bucky slips a hand around your waist as you watch the kids run further into the room. He leads you a bit further in but you stop him and nod in the direction of the bar.

“What in the world is going on there?” You were referring to Steve talking with Bruce’s new assistant.

They looked like complete opposites. Steve was animated and smiling while she was a bit more guarded, a bored expression on her face. Still there was a bit of lightness in her eyes as she looked at Steve. You wondered how it started and what it was in the first place.

“Don’t worry Sugar, we’ll find out soon enough.”

“You can’t tease him about it.”

“I won’t make a promise I don’t intend to keep.” Bucky says with a chuckle.

Just then Steve turns around just to take in the room and his whole face lights up when he sees you. You watch as he excuses himself and walks over to you.

“When did you get back?” He asks as he gives you both hugs.

“A few minutes ago. We wanted to surprise Henry.”

“So I’m assuming everything went well.”

“Yeah. I remembered everything. There’s-“ you sigh, your features darkening for a moment. “There’s someone from hydra still out there.”

“You sure? We haven’t gone through all of the files yet.”

“Trust me, there’s someone missing on the list of detainees.” Bucky adds. “But we’ll worry about that tomorrow. Right now we are here to celebrate.”

You smile up at him. Although the serum had healed all of the surgical incisions your body was still exhausted from the three months of hell you lived through, the surgery and the emotional rollercoaster too. So you decided on taking it easy. You walked through the room, finding your family or the team and talking. Sitting and just enjoying being back home.

****

“I’m going to win you a prize Sugar. Pick whatever teddy bear you want.” Bucky says with a smirk.

“I want that teddy that looks like you.” You point at the stuffie that had a black and gold arm.

“You got it.”

Bucky heads to the basketball game and shoots nothing but net. He ends up getting so many tickets he can get you the bear.

“Is this how you used to woo the girls you dated back in the 30s?” You asked as you hugged the bear to your chest.

“Maybe.”

You smile and kiss his cheek. “Thanks for my new sleeping buddy. I’m sure he’ll keep me safe.”

“What? There’s no way a stuffed bear is replacing me.”

“But he’s so cute and cuddly.”

“Sugar.” He gave you a halfhearted glare.

You kiss his cheek, laughing before you disappear between some of the arcade games with Bucky grumbling behind you. Charlotte and Olivia run past you, each of them holding some cotton candy and giggling. Henry is sitting at a racing game with Sam in the seat next to him, both of them competing for first place.

“You can’t use your own hammer, Point Break.” Tony tells Thor.

“But the objective is to hit these creatures.”

“You’re supposed to wack, not obliterate.”

You chuckle and shake your head as you walk past them and find your dad hanging out in the lounge area with a drink in hand. He pats the empty seat beside him and you take it, immediately resting your head on his shoulder. After making sure you’re ok, Bucky leaves to find Steve and challenge him in a game of pool.

“How are you feeling, kitten? Do you need to go up and rest? I’m sure Henry wouldn’t mind if you went and had a nap.” Eddie said.

“No, I'm ok. As long as I’m not pushing myself physically I’ll be fine. I’ve already missed so much.”

The two of you sit there for a while just watching everyone enjoy the party. Eddie just says something once in a while but mostly you sit in silence. It was nice but it felt surreal. Now you had a better understanding of why Bucky hated crowds. The space felt suffocating, as if all eyes were on you and every whispered conversation was about you. Maybe they were waiting for you to break. But it wouldn’t happen tonight. This night was reserved for Henry and he deserved a good birthday.

****

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.” Everyone stood around the birthday cake which was made to look like a huge video game controller, singing.

Bucky held Lottie while you had your hands resting on Henry’s shoulders.

“Happy birthday dear Henry, happy birthday to you.”

“Blow out your candles and make a wish.” You whisper.

Henry looks back at you with a smile. An innocence you’d barely seen in him since he was rescued. There was pure joy on his face as he turned to look at his dad and sister. He turns back to the cake and blows the candles out. Everyone cheers and you kiss the top of his head. You pull him back as Molly and Wanda begin to cut the cake. Soon enough everyone has a piece.

****

“You have a mess on your face sweet angel.” You say while trying to wipe Lottie’s face clean with a napkin.

“No mama.” Lottie pulls away, sticking her tongue out to try and lick away the frosting around her lips. Then she takes another spoonful of cake and shovels it in her mouth. “Habe some, mama.” She takes another spoonful and holds it up for you.

“No thank you, baby. I already had some.”

“Is kay mama. Habe some, is so yummy.”

You huff a laugh and accept the spoonful Lottie had offered you. She smiles before turning her attention back to her slice. This was very reminiscent of the night she called you mama for the first time. She was sitting on your lap yet again with a huge mess on her face. Everyone sat around talking and having a good time. This time though, Henry sat next to you and your family was here. Memories like this is what you would cling to in order to keep the nightmares at bay.

After a while the party calmed down. People were still playing video games but the atmosphere was more relaxed. You couldn’t fight the exhaustion anymore so you went to find Henry. He was waiting his turn to play dance, dance revolution.

“Hey birthday boy.” You tousled his hair to get his attention.

“Hey mama. Do you want to play this?”

“No it’s ok. I am going to go upstairs and lay down. I’m tired.”

Henry looked at the game and back at you unsure of what to do.

“I’m not saying you have to leave the party, baby. I’m just letting you know so you don’t think I left you, ok?” You caress his cheek and smile.

“Are daddy and baby going with you?”

“No,” you shake your head. “I’m just going to lay down for a little bit. Your dad and Lottie will still be running around. I’ll try to come back down later.”

“It’s ok mama.” Henry gives you a hug. “Thank you for coming back for my birthday.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” You kiss his forehead. “I’ll see you later.”

“Ok mama.”

You watch as Henry gets up to select what he wanted to dance to before looking for Bucky. You find him with Luke, Olivia and Charlotte on the balcony. The girls were admiring the twinkling lights of the city as night fell while Bucky and Luke had a conversation. You go up to them and let them know you’re going to be leaving the party. Bucky takes your hand and gives your knuckles a quick kiss before watching you walk away.

At some point after you had fallen asleep Bucky joined you in bed. The weight of his arm around your waist and the soft rise and fall of his chest against your back brought you comfort. You couldn’t, however, fall back asleep. As quietly and quickly as you could you slid out of bed and out of the room. You needed some fresh air so you slid the door to the balcony open and stepped outside.

“Mama?” Henry asks from the door.

You turn, surprised to see him awake at whatever time it was. He walks towards you, rubbing the sleep out of his eye with the back of his hand. You open your arms for him.

“I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” He asks as he leans into your warm embrace.

“I’m sorry sweet boy, I guess I was just thinking too much.”

“It’s ok. Why are you out here? Aren’t you cold?” Henry presses himself closer to you.

“Not really but let's go inside.”

You head to the living room and get comfortable on the couch. Henry lays down and rests his head on your lap. Immediately you start playing with his hair while he holds your free hand.

“When do you know if a birthday wish worked, mama?”

“Well I think it depends on what you wished for. If it was something big then it could take some time.” You look down at him. “Why?”

“I just want my wish to work fast.”

“What did you wish for, sweet boy?”

Henry sits up and faces you. “I wished for you to not feel scared like I was when I got here.”

“Oh baby, you didn’t have to use your wish on that. I’ll get better little by little I promise.” Henry’s revelation made you tear up just a bit.

“I know. I just wanted to help you like you and daddy and baby always help me.”

You smile at him then pull him in for a hug.

“You are helping me, sweet boy. Just by being here with me right now and giving me some cuddles.”

“I can do that.”

“I know you can. I love you so much my sweet, sweet boy.” You kiss the top of his head before getting comfortable on the couch.

“I love you too mama. I missed you so much.” Henry whispers.

“I missed you too.”

Henry ends up cuddled up on your lap. His face is buried in the crook of your neck. Soft snores fill the quiet room. Your hold on him is strong and you struggle to not think about the things he must have gone through now that you have experienced some of them.

The two of you stay on the couch until the morning when you’re woken up. Charlotte, wanting to be included in some cuddles, hopped up on the couch and found a spot on your lap before practically falling asleep again. For the next few weeks it’s the same routine. You wake up due to the nightmares and someone always finds you. The kids comfort you by cuddling on the couch, Bucky by letting you cry on his shoulder.

It was true what Bucky had said, it wouldn’t be easy but you would manage. Your life would be slightly different now but you had a reason to keep pushing forward. You had good days and you had bad days but you pushed through it all. There was lost time you needed to make up with the kids and you intended to do just that.

Ch. 33

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macaulaytwins · 6 months

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Henry Winter should have taken the Saltburn approach to Bunny’s funeral fine I’ll say it

#he should have fucked the grave! yeah!#can you imagine richard trying to spin that to us???#tsh #henry winter #the secret history #bunny corcoran #saltburn #homoeroticism #henry x bunny #richard papen

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bi-ss · 6 months

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~ Ties that bind ~

Bucky x reader- arranged marriage.

Warnings - non, I don't think..

(This is a little bit of part 1, so I made write more I may not, we'll see. I'm also going to give the reader and her parents a positive relationship. idk I think it suits the best

You always knew you were to be married off. Your mother was always transparent with you about that. She always told you that you may not like the man or woman, but love was always hard to find anyway. So one day, when you were 16, you typed up an agreement and gave it to your father about if you were married off, what you wanted, you do have your mother's stubbornness after all.

*knock knock*

"Come in," hearing your father grumble, you push the dark wooden doors which you are a lot heavier than your dad and his men made it seem. You stand in the doorway for a second before your dad gets up from behind his desk. He slowly walked round, motioning for you to come in and close the door. He pulled a comfy seat out a bit before sitting on his desk. You sat out looking up at him, handing him the typed papers in your hands. He looked at the title and gave it back to you.

"Read it to me, Ladybug." You smiled at the nickname he used and has used since you were a baby. "I see your mother as prepared you for this, and I see you listened for once," he joked, knowing you never liked working or school for that matter.

"I don't want to be a housewife, can't think of anything worse," you scoffed at your remark while your dad just laughed, still smiling down at you. "But I would prefer if you read it then get back to me as I told mother I'd help her cook.. it's burrito night!" He slowly nodded at you. Reading aloud wasn't something you liked doing. Taking the papers stapled together, you got up and started walking towards the doors, dreading the embarrassment of trying to open them again, but you didn't have to. Your dad was right behind you, holding it for you like you didn't just use all the strength to pry it just a little.

That's how you life's always been, your mother, a housewife. Your mother was the most beautiful and mature woman to probably ever exist, her long vibrant curly ginger hair, her pale soft skin loaded with freckle, her forest green eyes complemented everything about her even those rosy cheeks and lips. She adored your father as much or even more as he adored her. They do say opposites attract, fitting for your parents as your father, the breadwinner. Your father was a handsome and smart man, with dark chocolate hair which your mother loved putting into pigtails, his skin is covered with tattoos front to back, up and down, his toned and tan skin barely visible, his one good eye a smokie light grey colour, is other eye was sew shut while being littered with scars. Your dad has become more careful and gentle when your mother is pregnant. It wasn't hard to see that his men liked this change to, according to your mother. An example is when the twins joined, Wanda and Pietro maximoff joined, and they were put through uni with help from the family in case they wanted an out, making sure they had a choice. They stayed by the family's side.

Now, 6 years later, you're sitting in your fathers office it hasn't changed a bit, you can't say the same about them, he was sitting on the worn-out leather chair with your mother behind him, their hair turning grey and with smile line proudly on display. You sitting at the side of the desk, not next to your dad and not next to Mrs and Mr Barnes, with their irritated son, James Barnes. The meeting was already off to a bad start when his girlfriend Sharon demanding to attend, but met with your dad saying he didn't have business with her and if that's know they did things, he'll call it off. You listened in on the conversation when your dad wasn't there, and to sum it up, Mr Barnes threatened, saying he'll disown his son and give it all to Rebecca. She's now at the bottom of the stairs being watched secretly by maids, workers, and guards. The elderly guest were very shocked at the fact they didn't even know you were there when they were giving the to toddler a reality check, which made both your parents proud and all 4 laugh about it. Before the definition of cantankerous, egocentric, and many more adjectives, you couldn't ever walk in.

. . . . .To be continued. . . .

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deliciousangelfestival · 4 months

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Secret Sorrows || 4 -B.Barnes

Summary: Former special ops, Bucky, seeks solace in a cold refuge to escape his past. However, his haunted history catches up, unraveling mysteries that persist relentlessly.

Series Masterlist

Thank you to anyone who gave a like, reblog, and left a comment. It motivated me to write more.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Monday. It was the first day of the week, a day that dawned not just for the adults who had to rise early for work, but also for the children.

Ethan grumpily buttoned up his school uniform shirt, realizing it was time for him to continue his studies. His mood soured further as he watched his aunt, who didn't utter a word to him, only stroking his hair before slipping into her car.

He crossed his arms and puffed his cheeks in frustration. Couldn't she at least say something to him?

From the rear window of the car, Bucky caught sight of Ethan's grumpy expression, likening him to a disgruntled hamster.

"I thought you liked to study?" Bucky asked, noting how diligently Ethan applied himself to his studies. Despite being just seven years old, Ethan focused intensely like his aunt.

If it weren't for the butler placing their meals in front of them, Bucky mused, both Ethan and Y/N might only eat once a day.

Ethan replied, "It's great, but I don't like the kids. They're childish."

Bucky nearly choked on his surprise. Of course, the other children were childish; it was an elementary school.

As their car arrived at the private school, where attendance was reserved for children with influential parents or those who had made significant donations, the security measures were top-notch, with some students even accompanied by their own bodyguards. Bucky noted with a raised eyebrow that the school even employed a sniper.

Straightening his shirt and adjusting his bag, Ethan muttered, "Here we go."

Offering reassurance, Bucky said, "I'll be nearby if you need anything."

"Okay," Ethan replied, his tone tinged with uncertainty.

Entering his classroom, Ethan was immediately surrounded by classmates offering their condolences. Bucky observed from a distance, noting Ethan's warmth and camaraderie with his peers, silently relieved that Ethan had good friends by his side.

Soon, Bucky discovered the reason behind Ethan's reluctance to attend school. In fencing class, a taller boy from another grade, Greyson, regarded Ethan as his rival, though Ethan didn't share the same sentiment.

Greyson constantly challenged Ethan, but Ethan, still grappling with some underlying trauma, found himself unable to respond.

Sensing Ethan's distress, Bucky intervened, only for Greyson to call upon his own bodyguard, escalating the situation further.

The clash between the bodyguards began. Bucky, unfamiliar with fencing techniques, relied instead on his instinctual combat skills. Despite Ethan's doubts about Bucky's abilities in fencing, Bucky couldn't afford to lose this battle today.

Disregarding the rules of the sport, Bucky unleashed his full capabilities, catching Greyson's bodyguard off guard. With a swift motion, Bucky's final attack sent the fencing sword hurtling through the air, narrowly missing embedding itself in the thick wall.

The spectators, including Greyson, watched in awe and fear, while Ethan's admiration for Bucky only grew.

Greyson, now intimidated, pointed a trembling finger at Bucky. "I’ll tell my father."

Bucky simply stood tall, his expression unyielding, ready to face whatever consequences lay ahead.

Because of Greyson, Bucky found himself in the same situation again, standing before Y/N. This time, however, she wasn't preoccupied with signing documents; instead, her focus was entirely on him. Bucky knew this meant he was in big trouble.

The situation reminded him of the time he and Iris were called to the supervisor's office and punished together.

Y/N placed her hands together before her lips, her expression unreadable. She had been on a conference call from abroad when she heard about Ethan's situation.

The silence made Bucky nervous until she finally uttered some words. “The last time it was the swimming coach, and now do you want to tell me why the senator is blaming my nephew's bodyguard for making his son cry?”

Bucky responded, his tone respectful but firm, “With all due respect, those children trying to bully Ethan are not just kids, but devil spawn.”

Y/N's secretary, Marie, coughed awkwardly upon hearing Bucky's words, while Y/N remained silent, her lips quirking into a small smirk. “You're always a troublemaker, aren't you?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow in confusion. Why did she say “always”? Once again, she left him feeling puzzled.

Y/N continued, her tone surprisingly lenient, “I'll let it go this time. The senator didn't make this a big deal since he knows Van Alen is one of his main sponsors.”

Bucky had expected her to be angry, but her reaction caught him off guard.

“If something like this happens again,” Y/N warned, her voice firm, “handle it quietly.”

Bucky smirked confidently. “Of course.” With that, he left her office.

Marie couldn't help but glance at the closed door. “You're too kind to him. Is it because he's handsome?”

Y/N shot her a glare that silenced Marie immediately.

Returning her attention to her work, Y/N picked up a pen and began signing a document. “Is everything prepared for dinner?” she asked casually.

Marie checked her tablet. “Yup, the food and beverages are ready, including your and Ethan's outfits.”

Ethan paced back and forth, his expression troubled, his mind consumed with worry about his bodyguard. Spotting Bucky, he rushed over to him. “Bro, is my aunt mad at you?”

Bucky shook his head. “Not really.”

A relieved sigh escaped Ethan's lips. “You're my bodyguard, but I always worry when my aunt calls you.”

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle softly at the boy's concern. Then, his gaze fell upon a semi-formal dress adorning a mannequin inside Ethan's wardrobe.

“Are you going somewhere? I didn't see it in your schedule,” Bucky inquired, curious about the unexpected attire.

Ethan turned to look at the mannequin. “Oh, my aunt has a guest coming for dinner.”

“Who?” Bucky asked, intrigued.

Ethan shrugged his shoulders. “Don't know. Usually, it was my parents who welcomed the guests.” His voice quivered slightly as he mentioned his parents, the pain of their absence still raw.

Bucky felt a pang of sympathy for the boy's loss. “Do you want to join the dinner?” he offered, hoping to provide some comfort.

Ethan nodded eagerly. “It's the only time I get to be with my aunt.”

Bucky sighed inwardly, his heart aching for the strained relationship between Ethan and Y/N. When would things get better for them?

********

At dinner time, Bucky discovered that Y/N had already welcomed the guest, and it was time for Ethan to join the table. As they approached, both Bucky and Ethan finally saw who the guest was. Bucky had expected someone older, but to his surprise, the guest was around the same age—a young man named Duke August Walker.

Ethan murmured, “He’s Duke August Walker,” informing Bucky of the guest's identity. August Walker was an oil tycoon whose company collaborated with Van Alen.

He had become acquainted with both families, and there were rumors of his interest in Y/N, which she had apparently declined.

Bucky's eyes widened slightly in recognition. August Walker— the name stirred memories. Bucky remembered him from their school days; they had attended the same school. He recalled their encounters, but their paths had never crossed closely.

Observing Y/N and August chuckling together, Bucky couldn't shake off a twinge of jealousy. He didn't understand why he felt that way, but the sight bothered him.

Walker noticed Ethan's arrival and greeted him warmly. "Hey there, big guy," he said, fist-bumping Ethan.

Ethan reciprocated the greeting politely before taking a seat near Y/N. Meanwhile, Bucky remained standing outside the dining room, still able to overhear their conversation.

Y/N engaged Ethan in conversation, their interaction warm and familial.

Observing their aunt and nephew interaction, Walker commented, “Now I understand why you didn’t answer my call.”

Y/N shot him a look. “You have a problem with that?” she countered.

Walker chuckled, unfazed. “No. In fact, I’m impressed you’re starting to act like a normal human.”

Ethan's grip on his utensils tightened as he hissed at August, clearly displeased by the remark.

Walker laughed softly before changing the subject. “Do you have any plans to send Ethan to Vanguard Academy?” he asked Y/N.

Bucky's breath hitched when he heard that name—the same Academy he and Iris attended. It was the place that had become his sanctuary when he felt alone in the world. There, he learned valuable lessons about skills, friendship, love, heartbreak, and betrayal.

The mention of Vanguard Academy stirred up a mix of emotions within Bucky. He disagreed with the idea of Ethan attending the academy, feeling that he was too young for such an environment.

While the academy catered to students from kindergarten to high school, most of the younger students lived in the same area. If Ethan were to study there, he would have to be separated from Y/N—a prospect that Bucky found unsettling.

As for Ethan, he had heard about the academy from his mother. He had seen her photo from her days as a student there. Although his mother didn't speak much about the institute, it was evident that she harbored some dislike towards it.

Ethan didn't want to live far away; he was afraid, especially after hearing his Aston family's grandfather mention their plans to send him to Vanguard Academy a few times.

Y/N responded to Walker's suggestion with firmness. “He doesn’t fit into that place. Who do you think you are to even consider sending my nephew?”

Walker raised his arms defensively. “Whoops, don’t get mad. I only mentioned it because Iris seemed to have the time of her life there.”

Y/N wiped her mouth with a napkin, her expression unreadable. “Do you want to discuss my nephew or business?” she asked pointedly.

Walker shifted uncomfortably. “You’re really different from Iris. But your business instinct is top-notch,” he remarked, attempting to steer the conversation back towards business.

The remainder of the evening passed in a flurry of business discussions between the adults, their voices filling the room with a serious undertone. After Duke August Walker departed, Y/N decided to check on Ethan.

Ethan, feeling the weight of sleepiness settling upon him, ran eagerly to his aunt, his arms outstretched in a silent plea for comfort. The weariness seemed to dissipate from his demeanor as he looked up at her with hopeful eyes, seeking solace in her presence.

Y/N raised a quizzical eyebrow at Ethan's sudden request for a hug. "What are you doing?" she inquired, her tone laced with curiosity.

"Please, give me a hug," Ethan implored softly, his voice tinged with a hint of longing.

Y/N regarded him with a mixture of confusion and tenderness, unsure of what had prompted this sudden need for affection. Nevertheless, she couldn't resist the innocence in his request.

Before she could utter another word, Ethan rushed into her embrace, wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. His warmth enveloped her, momentarily melting away the worries of the day.

Y/N's initial stiffness softened as she returned the embrace, though uncertainty still lingered in her movements. She wasn't accustomed to such displays of affection, especially from Ethan.

As they stood in the embrace, Ethan's voice barely above a whisper, he confessed, "I miss my mother."

Y/N felt a pang in her heart at his words, her own emotions mirroring his sorrow. She wished she could fill the void left by his mother's absence, but she knew she could never truly replace her.

In an attempt to offer some comfort, Y/N gently stroked his back, her touch tentative yet comforting. "Go to your room. I’ll read a bedtime story for you," she promised, her voice soft and reassuring.

Ethan's eyes brightened with gratitude at her offer. "Really?" he asked, a hint of excitement in his voice.

Y/N nodded, a small smile gracing her lips, and Ethan hurried off to his room, eager to prepare for their nightly routine.

Meanwhile, as Bucky helped Ethan select a book from the shelf, he noticed a slip of paper fluttering to the ground. Curiosity piqued, he bent down to retrieve it, and his heart skipped a beat when he realized what it was—a photograph.

This was a photo of him and Iris back at the academy. And why did Ethan have this photo?

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Author Note :

Hey friends, I've set up a Ko-fi account if you've been enjoying the content.

Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating.

Only if you feel like it!Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

#bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #james bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #buckybarnes #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bodyguard #bodyguard au #bucky fanfic #winter soldier #the winter soldier #august walker x reader #august walker fanfiction #henry cavill characters #sebastian stan characters

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ancientgreek101 · 2 months

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Greek Class Post-Murder (of Bunny) Headcannon.

-Henry never wore those shoes again. They were in his closet the day he died.

-Henry showered for at least an hour, water hot enough to burn. Camilla took a bath in near boiling water and her skin was raw at the end.

-Camilla kept calling Henry all that night to make sure he was okay.

-Charles took some of the tulips they repotted to Bunny’s family.

-Francis wasn’t just drunk when he went to see Richard. He loved Richard and needed to know he was safe and alive. (Diehard Richard X Francis shipper here)

-Francis was so fixated on getting Richard in bed that night so that he could feel him and know he was alive and real.

-Henry worried that Bunny would be too cold out there alone. He almost went to go and cover his body, but he knew he’d be caught if he did.

#the secret history #tsh donna tartt #if you squint #henry winter x bunny corcoran #henry winter #camilla macaulay #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #richard papen #bunny corcoran #Henry regretted it #you can’t tell me he didn’t #THE DIRT

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espinosaurusrexex · 1 year

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Writing Bingo Masterlist

for my 1k follower celebration

! BINGO: this challenge is complete !

The Bingo Challenge is officially finished! Thank you all for participating. Here you can find all the requested fics in order:

secret relationship (Bucky)

period cramps (Steve)

presumed dead (Bucky) part two (protective)

one saves the other (Bucky)

cheesy pick-up line (College!Henry!Sherlock)

convincing to adopt animal (Steve)

secret admirer (College!Steve)

“Who did this to you?” (College!Roommate!Bucky - enemies to lovers)

touch starved (Ari)

tending to wounds after a fight (Bucky)

protective (Bucky) part one (presumed dead)

verbal fight (Bucky)

mind reader (Bucky x Enhanced!Reader)

miscommunication (Bucky x Enhanced!Reader)

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telling-tragedy · 5 months

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more from the archives

#richard papen #henry winter #judy poovey #camilla macaulay #francis abernathy #winterpapen #henry winter x richard papen #papenathy if you squint and rotate your phone 180°#donna tartt #the secret history

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astrum-aetherium · 10 months

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hi dear

no because i love anything domestic and mundane and with henry even more.

you know those sweet little things. like washing the dishes, drying them, cooking, glances across the room, reading quietly together, falling asleep on his lap, oh and if i saw one of those small smiles adorning his lips i would never stop grinning ( or sobbing) while looking at him ( honest id love to see what he'd do if he saw me staring at him with a big smile upon seeing one of his smiles). i so so so need this.

im violently sobbing rn

-A

i, too, am immensely fond of domesticity and the simple things, specifically applied to a character as cool and otherwise indifferent as henry. it's very mellowing, so tender, and comforting beyond all comprehension. i wholeheartedly love the few ideas you've pitched in the request, they're marvelous. let me see what i can conjure up on the basis thereof.

doing the dishes for him after a long, taxing day; knowing he is merely situated in the adjacent room, working; being reassured of the fact by the waft of smoke curling its way into the kitchen. washing mugs that previously harbored tea he'd made for you, precisely the way you like it; drying plates that were previously used to serve a meal you'd brought from home for the two of you, a loving gesture he appreciated so much he couldn't help but press a gratuitous kiss into your forehead, specifically because he had been so busy lately he couldn't even bring himself to cook. but there you were, swooping in, and saving him from the brink of giving up on himself once more.

finishing up the dishes and tiredly lowering yourself into his couch with a book as he sits at his desk in the same room and continues working on something so tremendously important to him. flicking through the pages placidly, calmly, at utter peace — lighting yourself a cigarette when and if you feel like it, having wordlessly snuck one from the pack of luckies lain by his dominant hand. indirectly and passively listening to how he breathes, how his pen scratches ink into the firm paper, how he turns over book pages of his own and sighs every now and again with a heaviness that awakens sympathy in you. all the while, you read, immersed in either a story to get your mind off of your studies or matching henry in productivity by reading something on the curriculum.

soon enough, he would rise, and flick off the desktop lamp — thereby marking his work time done for now. without detaching your eyes from your book, you'd know that his would be looking for you, only because mere moments later, you'd feel his tired, large frame sinking into the very same couch you're curled up on. he would gently grab hold of your legs and place them on his lap, tenderly caressing them through the dark tights posing a barrier between his digits and your bare flesh. you'd sigh, then, laying your book aside — only to be met with a mellow, soft glance exuding from him. he'd smile upon having locked eyes with you, albeit lightly — tiredly. that smile would simultaneously cause your heart to swell and bleed, aware of how much relief your presence provides him but also due to the bitter recognition of how much he needs said relief in the first place due to constantly being burdened and plagued by his studies, his environment, and his problems.

"read that to me, please," he'd request, then, nodding at the book you will have lowered in your lap. "and come a little closer, if you'd like."

because of his kind, meager proposition, you'd be propped against his shoulder, his arms tenderly encasing your body, in no time. you'd be lowly reading to him, regardless of whether he is familiar with the content of the book or not; he would merely delight in listening to the velvety, quiet flow of your voice. every now and again, his lukewarm fingertips would drift across the stretch of your arm, your waist, or your legs — whatever he will be holding onto. once you would end up falling asleep on him in this way, he would slowly lull you into a more comfortable position, and then light himself a cigarette — descending into contemplation and worry once more, ready for yet another sleepless night, which would merely be sweetened by your warm and comforting presence asleep in his grasp.

#henry winter imagine #henry winter x reader #henry winter thirst #indulgent thoughts #astrum asks #i went off on this one okay oops #i need this very badly though #like wow wow wow craving this carnally #all i need is tenderness and domesticity #mr winter i NEED you #please let me have this #godddddddddddddd

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greenandsorrow · 1 month

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I know that I'm writing for fandoms that have nothing to do with each other.

For science...

(please read all the options be4 you vote)

Just a side note that I'll write for the star wars and the matrix movies in the future!

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funkybbarnes · 10 months

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Funks Masterlist:

Sebastian Stan:

happy birthday, bugs!

Poems:

silences

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ghostneas · 11 months

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lot of you heavily dislike bunny corcoran and bunny/henry

(case and point)

BUT I'm in the midst of writing something and wanted to share my favourite bit so far

#the secret history #bunny corcoran #henry winter #donna tartt #bunny x henry is so dear to me #waiting in the hallway is an I can see you by taylor swift tease #which may or may not end up being the title #I had the song on loop and the start of it kinda wrote itself #there will be a nod to bunny being the only one that can make henry laugh #this is pre-canon and they were roommates content btw #bc thats my favourite fact about these two #kindly disregard any grammatical errors as well

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sweatervest-obsessed · 5 months

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Hangovers and Hickeys

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: no idea rn lmao probably like 700

A/N: some Spence content before the new year (on the western calendar). Hope you all get to enjoy the day!

“Good morning sunshine.”

You winced at the sheer volume of his voice. “If I could, id shove you off of the roof Derek Morgan.”

“Fun night?”

You snorted and finally lifted your head off of the desk. “You should be a profiler.”

That caused Derek to laugh, which made you wince and close your eyes. The sunglasses perched on your nose were supposed to be helping. They weren’t.

“That’s a nice hickey you got there.”

You grunted in response and tried to adjust your sweater collar so it would cover the hickey you missed this morning when you didn’t look in the mirror. You had basically rolled out of bed, and into your car to make sure you got to work on time.

“Who gave it to you?” “Why don’t you use your super duper profiling skills to deduce it or whatever Sherlock shit you wanna do.”

Derek snorted and shook his head. ”or you could just….tell me.”

“Don’t worry about it Derek.” You grumbled.

When Derek realized he wasn’t going to get any answers out of you about it, he decided he was going to change tactics.

“Moving on from Boy Wonder?” It was no secret that you had a crush on a certain nerdy doctor. And so Derek tried to use this knowledge to his advantage.

You crossed your arms and just raised your eyebrows. “I’m not dignifying that with a response,”

“Pretty sure that was my answer.” He chuckled, sitting down in his chair and swiveling to look at you.

When you decided to just ignore Derek, and face your desk, he piped up again. “Where is he anyways?” “No idea.”

It was like he was waiting for his cue from you. Spencer pushed open the doors to the bull pen and strolled in. He had his purple scarf around his neck, over his new coat that Henry (JJ) had gotten him for Christmas. It was a beautiful grey pea coat that kept him warm during these freezing winter months. Spender was carrying a tray with two coffees on it and what seemed like a bag from McDonalds, which seemed to be for you, since he was headed in your direction.

The smell of the food caused you to groan with joy and smile at the man walking towards you.

“My knight in shining armor.” You muttered as he placed the whole tray in front of you. You placed a kiss on his cheek hasilty, causing him to blush a little.

“I got hashbrowns from both McDonald’s and Dunkin’, a little smorgasbord of grease for your pallet.” He whispered before taking one of the cups out of the tray.

“I’m going to marry you Doctor Spencer Reid.” You muttered, digging into the bag and pulling out one of the McDonald’s hash browns and biting into it. The groan you let out leaned a little on the pornographic side, which made Derek raise his eyebrows at the sound you let out, and then at tinge of pink on Spencer’s cheeks.

You continued eating, clueless about the silent interrogation happening to your left, enjoying every single bite and sip of your hangover cure.

“Derek I can hear you thinking and it’s making my head throb.”

Derek’s eyes snapped back to you, as your figure swiveled in the chair to face him, casually munching on some of the fries, in a completely different mood then from two minutes ago before Spencer had walked in the room.

“Sorry your highness. I’m just curious as to why Boy Genius here is bringing you hangover cures.”

“Well it’s his fault I’m this fucked up so he owes me.” You grumbled, swiveling around in your chair to face your desk. You pulled your lap top out of your canvas bag and started to set up for your work day.

“Wha-how is it his fault.”

That’s when Spencer turned bright red and tried to change the conversation, or at least get out of it. “I—well it’s not…I….hotch is…”

Spencer basically ran across the bullpen and up the stairs to Hotch’s office, avoiding the conversation he almost just had.

“I don’t think you wanna know.” You smirked and bit into the muffin from Dunks that Spencer had got you, not looking at the man behind you.

“I’m starting to think that too.” His eyes narrowed and he looked between where Spencer had run off to, and you.

Something was going on between the two of you, and Derek Morgan was going to figure it out.

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januaryembrs · 14 days

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YOU'RE ALL I EVER WANTED | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [bonus chapter]

Description: The one where you realise you like Spencer.

Length: 6.2k

Warnings: mention of when Penelope got shot, but other than that not much. Mentions of sex + body count though there is NO judgement OR SHAMING. Bugsy could be Bisexual/attracted to women if you choose to read it that way, but you don't have to!

authors note: this little bonus chapter is set the week before Emily 'dies' so right before the final second of Chapter Two. Or you can just read this if you'd like to see two morons dancing around their love for one another. Since I’m uploading today, I realised you needed to read part of this for the next big chapter so that is going to take an extra day or so but it is coming! I hope this satiates the bugspence cravings!!

‘You’re the one, you’re all I ever wanted,

I think I’ll regret this,’

It was warm considering it was one of the last days of Winter, one of the warmest Virginia had in years.

Caseload had been ramped up with the amount of children out on the streets with their friends where any nefarious hands could simply snatch them, or young adults got drunk, or worse, in preparation for Spring Break, their inhibitions lowered to zero making them prime prey. And yet, on a random Saturday at the end of February, the sun peeked out from the dishwater grey clouds, the wind died down, and their phones stayed quiet with the promise of a real day off.

And how better to spend a day away from their office than to meet their co-workers in the park for a game of soccer.

“Morgan, quit marking me,” Bugsy yelled, dribbling the ball down the small field they’d commandeered as a pitch, four water bottles stood upright on either end as goal points. But Derek’s laugh was menacing, and she heard his footsteps pounding behind her, advancing on her as if they were kids in a playground, and before long he had swooped in front of her, despite her hand waving out in his direction to shove him away.

Emily was about to call her out for contact, not that she expected her little sister to give a shit, but Derek was too fast for even her where she sat on the side lines with Penelope. The ball went careering away from her, Morgan’s quick feet keeping it under much better control than she’d been able to, even with her hot on his heels, and before long he was shooting to where Aaron stood as goalie, just about rolling it past Hotch’s muscled legs into their goal.

Derek whooped, Will jogged over from the other end of the pitch to fist bump his team mate as the younger woman huffed, her college jumper and shorts clinging to her sweaty body.

“Sucks to suck, baby Prentiss,” Morgan jeered, shoving her shoulder lightheartedly when she glared at him, “Guess you owe me that drink, which I will be redeeming at the next convenience-”

“It’s easy to win when you’re two hundred pounds of muscle and your opponent is a girl who hasn’t done sport since high school,” She snapped, her expression grumpy as she fingered the hem of her fleecy top. Derek chuckled, Will returning to sit with JJ as Henry climbed over her legs wanting to play with her long strands of honey blonde hair. He shoulder bumped the girl, hoping to perk up her mood, but she shoved him back as hard as she could, not that it did much since she’d said herself she was sort of out of shape compared to his rock hard abs.

“Oh, come on now, Bug, don’t be like that,” He said, unphased when she damn near threw her whole body against his, trying to even knock him in the slightest off his feet, her face screwed up in annoyance. “Bugsy.” Derek tried again, only for her to ignore him and try even harder. He didn’t so much as flinch, “Bugsy, you’re being unreasonable,”

She huffed, drawing away from him and glancing at him with a scathing glare. “Okay, terminator, you won this time but I swear one day I’m going to make you pay for taking advantage of such a fragile little woman like me,”

Emily scoffed, handing her sister a water bottle, “Didn’t you take down an unsub alone yesterday? I mean you didn’t even have cuffs until Spencer showed up-”

“Oh, whose side are you on?” Bugsy snarled, downing a gulp of water and walking back over to where Spencer and JJ were relaxing on a picnic blanket, the former laying on his back with a book spread open using only one of his spindle-like hands.

“Good game?” He mused, trying to hide his smirk when she groaned in response, throwing herself down on the grass beside him. She wrestled her sweater over her head which left her in a band tee, her chest still rising with panting breaths as she lay down to his right, glaring at the clear sky.

“Remind me to never play him in sport ever again. The man is a Spartan Warrior,” She huffed, barely glimpsing to where JJ chuckled at her defeated expression.

“Did you know that the Spartans were actually banned from the Olympics for some time for violating the peace treaty between Sparta and Athens? But one of their athletes entered a chariot race pretending to represent Thebes, a city above Athens in Boeotia, and only when he won did he announce his true identity,” Spencer asked, his nose still buried in his book like he was reciting the very same information off the page. Bugsy’s lips quirked in interest.

“That’s pretty cool,” She murmured, head flicking over to him where he glanced back at her, finally ripping his attention away from his novel. She blinked at him, his ‘boy band’ hair as so affectionately named by their unit chief, swooping over his forehead with a few soft, chocolate curls that she moved to fix almost immediately.

She missed the way his eyes rounded in puppy love as she did so, a camouflaged smile twitching at his lips, an onset reaction of the butterflies that swarmed his chest.

“I like your hair like this,” She said, even though she’d told him a dozen times already his new hair was dashing, as she’d put it, “It makes your eyes look really pretty,”

He cleared his throat, his cheeks heating up because he couldn’t handle his reactions when she was so forward, “Really? I always thought they were the colour of dirt,”

Her mouth dropped open, and she shuffled up onto her elbows so they were similar heights, “Spencer Reid, you take that back right now,”

“Wow, the government name. I must be in trouble,” He mused, gaze falling to the grass beneath them, dropping his book into his lap even though he felt her annoyance poking holes in his skull.

“They are not the colour of dirt, I’ve never heard something so ridiculous,” She scoffed, nudging him with the back of her hand in a soft chide and he snickered, looking back up to where she was staring him straight in the muddy hues of his very plain hazel eyes. “They’re like, they’re like-” She tried to come up with an answer, squinting in the soft sunlight that turned the brown shades into liquid honey running off a spoon, her face leaning towards his to catch a closer look at the exact pigment of them, “They’re like looking up at a forest on a Summer’s morning, you know? Like when you can see every single one of the leaves because of the light,”

He nodded wordlessly, because no one had ever said something quite so poetic about any part of him before. He fought the urge to look away, wasn’t sure he could even if he tried because for a second they were both in a trance, dissecting the other’s gaze like they were imprinting their colour palettes to memory.

“Buggy!” Her head whipped away from him as the blonde headed child came running over to her as fast as his chubby little legs would carry him. He launched himself at her stomach, and her hands quickly caught him before he could wind her, his cheeks rosy behind his bumble bee pacifier. She giggled as he slid down her side, his knees staining with grass as he reached muddy hands out for her face.

“Woah, not so fast mister. Who knows where these grubby little paws have been,” She teased, and he laughed behind the plastic sucker, his bluebell eyes a near match of JJ’s blinking over at her.

Spencer watched her and his godson with besotted eyes, imagining for a split second what she might be like as a mother, if she ever chose to be. He knew she would be soft and yet not lose one drop of the Bugsy playfulness he cherished, just instead parting everything that made her extraordinary onto a mini her.

He saw it, like a flicker of a dream, like deja vu, a girl with her hair, her skin, her smile; the one that was impish and guilty like she had a secret, giggling behind a ladybug dummy the way Henry was doing when she forced his dirty hands together to clap; “Clap your hands if you smell like fairy farts- Henry!”

The child laughed harder, so hard his pacifier dropped out his mouth with a little dribble, his milk teeth pearly with and tiny in the sun. His chest seized with giggles, his face turning pink as he panted to catch his breath, “You’re so silly, Buggy,”

JJ swooped in to grab his dummy, giving his hands a quick once over with a baby wipe and packing the sucker back into his bag. Henry’s gaze quickly slid up his mother’s arm to where she lingered over his pack, and he was eager to make himself comfortable leaning against Bugsy’s stomach, legs stretching out onto the blankets, his shoes brushing against Spencer’s trouser leg.

“Juice, mama!” He shouted, his little voice sweet knowing just how to wrap everyone around his pinky finger, “Juice and Bi’kits!”

“What do we say, Henry?” Will reminded gently, holding the Ben 10 satchel open while his partner rooted around the bottom of it with a loving smile.

“Please, juice and bi’kits,” The boy replied politely, his feet knocking together out of excitement when JJ produced two red pouches and animal shaped cookies. Stepping over where Spence lay sprawled out, watching Bugsy idly stroking over the back of his godson’s white blonde curls, JJ handed the two of them a drink and snack each, Bugsy’s eyes flying up to the woman in interest.

“For me?” She asked dumbly, wondering if she was to give the second helping to the boy once he’d finished his first or if it really was hers.

JJ shrugged, moving back over to sit beside Will where he wrapped a lazy arm around her waist, squeezing her gently, “I always pack extra for the other kids,”

Bug’s face flattened into something unamused as Henry handed Spencer his juice pouch for him to push the straw in, “I’m twenty six, I’m not a kid,” She grouched, ripping open the packet of biscuits and shoving a lion in her mouth, “God, whoever invented these animal shaped pals is genius. Like, why does everything taste so much better when it looks like a monkey smiling up at me?”

The three of them chuckled at her, Emily and Penelope starting up a new game of soccer with Hotch and Derek, David reffing from the sideline. Penelope was ofcourse with Morgan, looking a little pale where she stood in goal, as Emily ran at her in full force with the ball skipping between her feet.

Spence handed the drink back to the boy, picking his book back up as the two of them crunched on their goodies happily.

“Story time, Uncle Spencer,” Henry demanded, pointing to the copy of War and Peace in between bites of a zebra cookie.

And instead of telling his godson that he would almost certainly hate the complex, adult writing of Leo Tolstoy, Spencer smiled down at him, feeling Bugsy’s eyes roving over his face.

“Yeah, storytime, Uncle Spencer,” She jeered, her elbow getting dirty where it dug into the grass as she rolled onto her side to watch him properly, “Never too early to teach the kids about French invasions,”

Flicking her a smirk, he cleared his throat theatrically, and pretended to read from his book, “Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White,”

“That’s a real magic book you got there, Spence,” The woman snickered, and he smiled into the pages, not daring himself to look at the devilish look she had on her face.

“Chapter One; Before Breakfast,” Spencer ‘read’ clearly, his memory still clear as a bell when his mother had read it to him when he was five, “‘Where’s papa going with that axe?’ said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast,”

Bugsy felt Henry’s head slump against her hip, the boy slurping on his juice pouch happily as she punctured a hole in her own carton to take a sip, the two of them listening intently to Spencer recounting the children’s book to a scary degree of accuracy.

His slender arms looked good with his sleeves rolled to his elbow, she thought offhandedly, his right elbow taking the brunt of his weight as he leaned on it, the other flicking through the Tolstoy novel as if it were the real thing, his long fingers splayed out on the back of the book to keep it open. His eyes kept darting up over the top of the page to see if they were both still listening, which they were, though Bugsy suspected Henry was starting to get tired as his head felt heavy against her skin.

Propping her head on her hand, her eyes scanned over the profile of his face. She’d always known he was attractive, ever since she opened her dorm room door at John Hopkins and saw him and Morgan waiting for her. Her stomach twisted thinking about how long ago that seemed, that she couldn’t remember quite what her world had centred around when it had just been her at college; her mother and father were distant as ever, her sister was a stranger that had all but raised her, boys were just a passing face if she ever let them through her door. She’d had her books and maybe two friends, acquaintances would probably be the better term, and her coffee. And that seemed to have been enough, or at least it was enough that she couldn’t outright complain about how lonely she felt.

And then she met Spencer. And that feeling had disapparated entirely.

Her heart swelled when she looked at him, recounting the beginning of chapter two by now, his forest hues glancing up at Henry’s sleepy, round eyes that watched him in interest. She thought for a moment that whoever his kid was going to be was going to be the luckiest boy in the world. She let herself imagine a boy Henry’s age already devouring books twice his reading age, one with wild, almond curls he’d let grow around his neck like JJ did with Henry’s. She imagined how he would sit him on his lap and let him read the books for himself, so that if he got stuck his dad would be right there to help him behind a proud smile. Spencer; a father. She realised how out of field the thought was before she shook it out of her head, though it had planted itself right in her hypothalamus the second she’d seen the vision of it.

A small smile twitched at her lips, a warmth in the pit of her stomach flickering as she sipped the juice, giggling when Spencer changed his tone slightly so Henry knew someone new was speaking, seemingly enjoying the book almost as much as his audience was. His eyes snapped to her when he heard her, a devious little smile creeping up his lips like they shared the same thought. She wished she could do this every day, lay on picnic blankets and listen to him read, his voice was heavenly, and she thought she might never get tired of hearing him tell her things.

Every part of her was consumed when she thought of him like this. It had happened once or twice, like when she’d driven him home from the doctors after they’d cleared his MRI’s, when she’d held his head in her lap on his couch and stroked his scalp, a cold compress over his eyes because his head writhed with a pain he couldn’t squash out. When she’d heard his soft snores as he finally dropped off to sleep and she allowed herself to look at his resting face, perhaps even more angelic than usual, a small indent right between his brows where his expression had been scrunched in discomfort for weeks, one she smoothed over with the soft pad of her thumb. She’d felt something then, like her whole body was full to the brim of him, her chest spasming with a feeling like she was coming down with a cold but one that made her feel good, but she’d brushed it off as seeing him vulnerable and soft compared to the quick as a whip FBI agent she was used to these days. She’d do just about anything for him, anything to make him feel better, anything to just make him happy.

Or when they’d eat breakfast together at his desk, her chair rolled up beside his as they sat together, taking it in turns to do crossword puzzles together because they realised they got competitive when they were allowed to answer all of them at the same time, and Bugsy did not like losing. There had been one morning when they’d descended into madness because they were both trying to write the answers as fast as possible, their hands smashing together over the boxes, her hand shoving his lithe body away as he had called her a cheater through red cheeked laughter. Rossi had confiscated the paper when things had gotten too physical and she’d pulled the lever beneath his chair, lowering his seat quick enough he nearly slipped right out. His coffee spilled all over his desk as his arm flew out to grab his desk, and the sight alone made her laugh so hard she almost peed. He’d pretended to be annoyed at her for all of two minutes as they cleaned up the mess together, but he too had found himself laughing hard enough he was almost in tears because she could barely get two words out without creasing over and holding her stomach in aching barks of noise, the two of them leaning against one another for support. She thought then, if she had breakfast with him every day, whether it be with quizzes or coffee or even a plain bowl of oatmeal, she’d wake up every day happy.

And she thought it then, her heart swelling fat enough to burst as he looked up at her over the top of the leather binding again. Even in the split second he did so her skin had turned to gooseflesh, like he’d grabbed her at her soul and squeezed her whole being affectionately. And it was like she remembered every time he’d made her feel like that, times she thought of it as the fact a girl who received little to no attention growing up was of course going to revel under the gaze of an attractive man with a heart sweeter than cotton candy, it was just psychology. One big Freudian-slip of nonsense. At least that was what she shoved it off as.

But looking at him, his hands big enough to grab her face whole, his body long and lithe as he spread out on the blanket, his hair falling so delicately, his tone soft and pandering to the little boy who was dropping off to sleep against her stomach. His whole essence was so Spencer it made her feel at home, like this was what she was created to do, feeling so fulfilled sat with him sipping on a juice pouch as he read to her she could die tomorrow and feel accomplished for only twenty six years.

She knew in her gut that wasn’t what friends felt for each other; the thought creeping up her spine and over her shoulder like a virus that seized her brain as its own, her expression unwavering as she watched him with adoring eyes.

She knew it was wrong, but with him she felt worth something. She felt complete. Like she had everything she ever needed, everything she’d ever wanted on the nights loneliness had snuck in and she’d felt like no one would ever understand how the muddied water of her mind worked.

But he did. He always had.

And it was like she heard a screech in a track record as it came to a stop, her head working overtime with the thought of it.

She bit her lip in guilt, as he continued reading, hoping she wouldn’t ever ruin whatever it was that she’d felt, because she might not ever be able to forgive herself if she did.

–

“It’s over one and below a hundred, and that’s all you’re getting,” Bugsy said with a teasing smile, her fingers resting on the rim of a very sweet Cosmo, as Penelope and Derek sat opposite them, Spencer to her right with a beer on one of the few times she’d ever seen him drink. But it had been a good day, and what would be the harm in topping off the day with a cold beverage, “Besides, it doesn’t matter anyway, it’s not like they meant much,”

“We know it doesn’t matter, baby Prentiss, we’re just being nosey,” Derek chimed, his fingers wrapped around his own bottle of beer, courtesy of Bugsy which she had paid for with a grumble, a tipsy glint in his dark eyes.

It was just the four of them this evening. Will and JJ had taken a sleeping Henry home so they could spend some rare time together seeing as their son was entirely knocked out. Hotch had taken Emily home after David had given her a red card for trying to tackle both Aaron and Derek multiple times during their game, because apparently competitiveness ran in the family. He had tried to gently remind her Aaron was also on her team, but had received a glare that would make any agent cower, and Hotch had suggested maybe it would be best if they got her home rather than fill her with alcohol.

Rossi had excused himself home after hearing the colourful things the oldest Prentiss woman called him in Italian, likely contemplating if she meant any of the threats she was making.

“Any guy would be lucky to make it to your magic number, honey bee,” Penelope added, her pastel painted lipstick making a cute rim on the straw to her own Margarita, “Or girl! Any girl would be too,”

Bugsy shied away at that, blanking for perhaps the first time because the whole topic of her romantic endeavours was suddenly embarrassing when Spencer was sat right beside her. She had spoken to them before about her college days, and had never once made an effort to hide the fact she knew she had a charm about her that meant she usually could take someone home if she wanted them.

So why was it suddenly so difficult to admit in front of Spencer? She knew why, she knew why every single one of them suddenly felt miniscule in the grand scheme of things because they hadn’t meant much to her, not when he was sitting boring holes into the side of her head with an unusually tight expression.

“What does it matter if there were girls, none of them really meant much,” She brushed them off, her face heating up when she finally looked at Spencer, his long fingers picking at the label on his beer with a tight lipped smile.

“We’re just teasing, Bug, there’s nothing wrong with any number you could give us. Besides, I guarantee mine is higher than yours,” Derek reassured, squeezing her wrist gently, his eyes sliding to where Spencer seemed to be trying to avoid all eye contact like he wanted the seat to swallow him whole, “Same with you, Kid, there’s no judgement at this table, we’re all human,”

“I bet you were a real ladies man by that third doctorate,” Bugsy teased, nudging his shoulder with her own because she hated when he went quiet.

He looked at her like he was expecting her to be cruel, except she didn’t look it, not one bit, instead she seemed a little skittish, no doubt from having the spotlight on her. “What makes you say that?”

She bristled, “I mean, come on, Spence, you’re very good looking, you’re the smartest person I know, you’re funny and there’s like not a single bad bone in your entire body,” She said, becoming increasingly aware of the weight of her words the more she spoke. But it was like the cocktail had loosened her lips, had made it seem entirely normal to essentially tell him how lucky a girl would be to date him, how she had thought about all the reasons she would find him a worthy sexual partner. She watched him blush, granting her a flustered smile, and she looked to Penelope desperately for help, “Pen, would you tell him?”

“She has a point, Reid. You are the full package,” Penelope conceded, her smile illuminating the whole bar as she reached over to hold both their hands in hers, “It’s a shame you’re both strongly planted in the friend zone otherwise the four of us could have really been something beautiful,”

They all chuckled, Bugsy shaking her head and leaning against Spencer’s side when he seemed to ease up, just to remind him she had meant no harm by what she said. In fact, she’d meant entirely the opposite.

She felt his hand lean under the table to squeeze her knee, because he knew what she was thinking, and she felt herself relax at the feel of his touch.

“Alright, here’s a question; winner gets a free shot on the next round. What was your worst date?” Morgan poked, noticing how the two youngest agents seemed to scooch towards one another almost as if they hadn’t realised, as if they were working off their own orbit, until they were pressed right up against one another, their elbows brushing against one another, “Doesn’t have to be sexual, could just be bad table manners,”

“I haven’t really been on a date before,” Spencer tried to weasel his way out of the question, Bugsy’s head whipping to him in surprise, “There was that one time I met that girl Austin for coffee, but that was pretty great,”

She bit her cheek in annoyance. She’d forgotten about Austin, the bartender that she’d told Spencer to go after, because she was so sure that a good looking doctor like him deserved someone kind and attractive like Austin had been. She remembered how she’d seen her ocean blue eyes roving over her friend, how at the time it hadn’t meant much to her, because she couldn’t really blame her for thinking he was hot, how now it stirred something in her tummy that she feared felt like jealousy.

She dared herself to stop the bombarding thoughts of what ‘pretty great’ entailed exactly, and busied her face by looking to Morgan for his turn.

“My man,” Derek said with a wicked grin on his face, watching Spencer cower away from the attention though there was something guiltily proud in the smirk that grew on his face that said Spencer was somewhat pleased with his answer. In the scheme of things, he’d gotten lucky, pun intended. The only woman to ever say yes to a date with him had been sweet, even if he’d quickly made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything more with her, and even then she’d been understanding.

“Your turn, Morgan,” Bugsy reminded, trying to be as cool as possible despite the fact her stomach felt flipped upside down at the sound of a woman she hadn’t thought about in two whole years. She didn’t know what had gotten her so territorial in a matter of seconds, but she hated every moment of it.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know ladies, that someone has in fact put Derek Morgan in his place before,” Derek said, with a clap of his hands, and Bugsy and Penelope shared an amused eye roll.

“Who knows how big your ego might be if this goddess among women hadn’t acted when she did,” Bugsy drawled, Penelope giggling into her lime wedge as Derek laid a hand on his chest in faux hurt.

“I’m telling you, I’m a changed man. I tasted my own medicine, Sugar, and it was bitter,” He said melodramatically, and even Spencer shook his head with a laugh, because Derek was a diva when he’d had a few to drink. “We go out to a lovely restaurant, I pay ofcourse, being the gentleman I am, and then we decide to go for some drinks after to round the evening off,”

“Any girl's dream come true,” Penelope jumped in, giggling when Derek wrapped an arm around her shoulder, like they were on a date themselves.

“That was exactly my thoughts, babygirl.” Derek flirted, taking a swig of his beer, “Anyway, I maybe have a little too much of the good stuff, nothing particularly worrying. We’re laughing, we’re vibing, and then we go back to my place,”

“Here we go, the real good stuff,” Bugsy chimed in, nudging Spencer with her elbow as the two of them snickered like tweedle dum and tweedle dee. “Fifty Shades of Morgan,”

“Pipe down, lover girl,” Derek barked through laughter, Penelope barely making it through a sip of her own drink without smiling, “So as I was saying, I’m feeling a little worse for wear, she’s a little drunk too, so we move past it, and then we get to my room,”

“Bow chick a wow wow,” Bugsy sang teasingly, to which Spencer chuckled and taking a sip of his own drink.

“Well, you would think, honey bee, since I am known to the women for my experiences in bed, some may call electric,” Derek slurred, holding her hand gently over the table to which she laughed even harder.

“Huh, I must have missed that email,” She teased back, taking a long final sip of the dregs of her drink.

“You wound me,” He replied, shaking his head, and turning to look at Penelope seriously, like he was sat in a confession booth, “So anyway, we’re in my room, about to get jiggy with it, only when I take my boxers off I find my soldier is sort of-” He paused, swallowing and looking at Spencer’s red face where he was trying desperately not to break, “You know. Unable to stand to attention,”

Bugsy spat her drink across the table, the action alone making Penelope laugh so hard tears sprang to her eyes, the younger girl coughing as she choked on her drink, and Spencer patted her on the back until she reclaimed some composure.

“Oh, god,” She gasped, her hand thumping her chest as she tried desperately to get a hold of herself in between the loud cries of glee and winding herself, “Derek-”

“Hey, laugh it up, Bug, it worked out alright in the end. Our second date really was electric,” He replied with a smug smile, as the girl finally caught a breath, her lash line watering with tears as she grabbed for some napkins on the table to clear up her mess.

“If you say so,” She said, her voice croaking as Spencer offered her a sip of his drink to wash her throat out. She took a small mouthful of beer, handing the bottle back to him with a grateful smile, and she tried no to think about the fact that germ wise, they had essentially just kissed.

“Your turn,” Spencer said, something amused in his eyes as she looked at him somewhat betrayed, “What’s been your worst date?”

She sighed, wiping beneath her eyes with her sleeve, “If you must know, and because I really do want that shot,” She started, clearing her throat one final time, “I was seeing this guy in New York over Spring break, Sean something,”

“Sean something?” Derek asked, “You didn’t know his last name?”

She shrugged, fighting the urge to crawl into a small ball of embarrassment because surely what Morgan said had set the bar for judgement high, “We didn’t exactly do much talking when we saw each other,”

Spencer hid his frustration in a fake smile, though one look at his furrowed brow would have given him away instantly. Luckily, they had their eyes on her long enough they didn’t catch a glimpse of his expression. It wasn’t that he would ever think less of her for being with someone else, who wouldn’t want her, but hearing about it made his inside boil with jealousy he didn’t even know he would have ever felt.

“Anyway. I felt like a change of scenery and my mother was bothering me for a lunch date since she was in New York for the month, so I took him and two of his friends out to Italy for a long weekend,” She went on, ripping up a napkin for something to do while she spoke, and she felt Penelope staring at her agog.

“You took a casual fling to Italy for a change of scenery?” The bubbly woman asked, her mouth dropped in shock, “Can I sleep with you?”

Derek laughed, and Spencer went bright red when he jumped to ask the same question though he knew it was entirely coarse. Maybe it was the beer loosening his tongue, or maybe it was the fact he wondered what the two of them sitting in a sunny vineyard like a rich old couple would look like, he wasn’t sure.

“Play your cards right, Princess,” Bugsy teased, clearing her throat to continue, “Anyway. We’re there for two days and the final evening Sean and I get into a bit of a disagreement over something dumb; I think him and his friends were being too loud and we were getting complaints. Anyway, we kiss and make up for the evening, we go out to a club. We go back to the hotel, get jiggy with it as you put it, and when I woke up the next day, the bastard had taken the bag with all our boarding passes and came back to America with his friends without even waking me up.”

Their mouths fell open, Spencer’s brows shooting into his hairline in worry, “That sounds awful, Bug,”

She shrugged again, messing with the pile of ripped up paper she’d created, “It’s nothing. I spoke the language so I got by okay, and luckily I kept all my cash in my purse so I hitched a ride to the airport and got on the next plane, except the only available one landed me in California so I had to wait for a transfer over to Baltimore. By the time I got back, his roommate said he was with some other girl,”

“What an asshole,” Derek said, shaking his head as he said so, but Bugsy raised her shoulders again.

“I really know how to pick them,” She said, swirling her lime piece around the bottom of her glass, “Anyway, the hotel staff felt bad for me and gave me a free bottle of Pinot Noir on them so it didn’t work out all bad,”

Sensing it was somewhat of a sticky subject, Penelope jumped in with her usual wit, “As much as I would love to give you the shot, buttercup, this gal took a bullet on her last bad date so I will be collecting that prize if it’s all the same to you,” She said, her bubbly attitude quickly throwing metaphorical glitter over the subject, collecting Bugsy's empty glass and her own together as her and Morgan moved to shuffle out of the table for another round.

Bugsy’s eyes widened, “What?” She stopped, and she looked at Spencer to see if they were playing some sort of joke on her only to see him unsurprised, “What!?”

“I’ll tell you about it some other time, sweet cheeks. Right now I have a tequila, salt and lime with my name written all over it,” Penelope chirped, waltzing up to the bar with her muscle two paces behind her as he drew out his wallet to put down for the next round of drinks.

“Well, I suddenly feel like an asshole for complaining about being left in a nice hotel alone,” Bugsy said, her head resting on her hand as she looked over at Spencer who ran his finger over the emerald green bottle.

He snorted, “Tell me about it, I said that my last date went wonderfully,”

They met eyes in the dark lowlights of the bar and shared an amused grin, like they knew it was cynical for them to laugh except they really did feel like morons for complaining about how bad they had it when Penelope had all but joked about her situation.

“I am sorry that happened to you, though,” Spencer said, his hand creeping over the leather seat to where hers sat on her thigh, “That must have been really scary. Why didn’t you call Emily?”

Bugsy’s face tensed, “We weren’t really speaking then, and I knew if I told her or my mother I’d get the same lecture about being irresponsible and careless. I think I thought I’d rather do it alone,”

Spencer pouted, braving enough to move his hand up to take hers in his own. Maybe it was the second bottle of low percent beer, or maybe it was because she’d flickered with something genuinely saddened when she’d said it, and Spencer thought that in every instance of her story she’d had little to no one to turn to for help.

She had been alone, and the thought of it crushed him.

He grabbed her hand, her head snapping to him and praying she didn’t find pity there because she hated that. Except she just saw him, those mossy eyes looking rounder and more lovely than ever when she regarded him.

“You don’t have to feel alone ever again, you know that right?” He asked earnestly, giving her fingers a little squeeze, and she felt her tummy do that stupid turn all over again. It was like she had an upset stomach except that was a complete antonym of what it was, like her stomach was so unbelievably overjoyed that she could barely even hold it together without wanting to ask him what it was he had done to suddenly turn her into some sort of feral creature for every little movement he made.

Except there wasn’t just one thing, it was everything about him. Everything.

She smiled at him, more bashful than she had ever felt for him, and against her own instincts she slipped her fingers in between his own so they had their every digit laced together, and it was suddenly so much bigger than two friends chatting in a bar.

She knew it then, felt it realer than ever, like a stop sign slapping her clean across the face and shattering every bone in her skull.

She just hoped she wouldn’t regret it.

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