"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it."

Donna Tartt ; The Secret History.

"But isn't it also pain that often makes us most aware of self ?"

Donna Tartt, The Secret History.

"It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from all the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one's own. Even more terrible, as we grow older, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us."

Donna Tartt ; The Secret History.

Random things that I cannot stop thinking about:

“Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine”

“Yesterday I got so old, it made me want to cry”

“O teach me how I should forget to think”

“Time makes us sentimental. Perhaps, in the end, it is because of time that we suffer”

“I declare that later on, even in a time unlike our own, someone will remember who we are”

“Give me a meaningful love or a beautiful death!”

“If I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?”

“seize the day boys. make your lives extraordinary.”

- Robin Williams as Mr Keating

Dead Poets Society (1989, dir. Peter Weir)

no i‘m not doing alright, i have just finished „the secret history“ by donna Tartt and i feel like somebody ripped my heart out

The picture of Camilla Macaulay and her dog that I've had in my head this whole year but for some reasons haven't draw earlier

Sometimes, when there's been an accident and reality is too sudden and strange to comprehend, the surreal will take over.

— The Secret History, Donna Tartt

“Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not.”

The secret history. Donna Tartt

dong drugs, drinking excessively, stealing precious artwork are all things I am against, unless it's Boris Pavlikovsky and Theo Decker doing it

“Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole.”

- Derek Walcott

When we hug, our hearts touch through our chests, and I think that's beautiful.

All academic bitches do is read poetry, tempt fate and yearn

Richard Papen really said "I'm just gonna drown myself in random pills I've found" like dude, go to therapy

head empty just second hand bookshops

You make my soul sing Now I’m left tossing and turning, a fever dream In ghost pain my body trembles At the thought of days where you might not be.

Like a fool, I’ve beared myself to you So carelessly, I’ve let you pry me open But I’ve never thrived on regrets And I can’t live with could-have-beens. Without you? Maybe, Though I wouldn’t dare to try.

This is an Esterbrook, lever fill fountain pen. It used to be my great grandfather's so I would place it's age at around the 1950s. It writes like a dream. The felt at the bottom of the stand needs replacing. It fills just fine and as far as I can tell it doesn't leak.

not to be dramatic but i would die for henry winter