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zenaidamacrouras1 · 1 year

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Writing Modern Steve Roger's Health Issues: A compendium

AKA How do Steve Rogers' MCU canon illnesses hold up in a modern setting?

I am writing something that is SO NICHE and so NERDY I feel absolutely, positively deviant about it. Who knew you could have this much fun while eating a burrito and sitting in the sun on your back porch?

OKAY! This one goes out to all of you writing modern AU's with a modern Steve Rogers. (There are literally dozens of us!). Let's go.

So, I find it somewhat problematic when people write disabled or otherwise medically complicated characters and are wishy-washy about the diagnosis they have. In real life, everyone I know with ongoing medical issues is a fucking expert on their exact shit. A great tumblr reference for disabled characters is Cripple Characters, but I also use reddit threads to read about people’s day to day experiences with different issues in their own words. If nothing else, just decide what your character has and take ten minutes and read through a basic website article about it.

So let's walk through what modern Steve's medical history and diagnoses might be. If you feel like I missed any details or got things wrong, happy to have comments to that end.

We'll start with the list of “ailments,” going with the MCU canon and combining the images from the museum exhibit and screen shots of Steve’s enlistment forms:

Asthma

Scoliosis

Fallen arches

Partial deafness

Scarlet Fever, Rheumatic Fever

Heart arrhythmia

High blood pressure

Palpitation or pounding in heart

Easy fatigability

Stomach ulcers

Pernicious anemia

Nervous trouble of any sort

Sinusitis

Chronic or frequent colds

Caveat: I am not a doctor, but I am a person who enjoys reading medical journal articles about illnesses I do and don’t have. The human body is a fascinating and terrible place to live. Talk to me about your medical complications - I will always find them interesting. I love small talk about Crohn’s disease and/or extremely graphic details about the time you had surgery because one of your wrist bones was the wrong length.

Sucks To Your Assmar: Asthma! How has asthma changed?

Kids who have their asthma well managed at a young age are going to have less scarring and lung damage (this is called airway remodeling). Thus a modern kid will likely have less severe asthma than a kid born in Steve’s time. Further, allergy medicines got way better from the 1990s, so kids with allergy induced asthma would have had fewer attacks. Fewer attacks as kids = less severe asthma as they age.

I would also note that asthma is highly connected to environmental issues. If Steve grew up in a house with cigarette smoke, cockroaches, rats, or mold present, as is fairly easy to imagine, especially without dehumidifiers in a swampy Brooklyn summer, those are environmental factors that would have made his asthma much worse.

They are also all factors that kids today certainly face, depending on how you write your modern Steve’s childhood. While people today certainly can have very severe asthma, it’s also entirely possible that modern Steve’s relationship to his asthma is pretty chill and easy to manage. (My partner has relatively severe asthma with a lot of environmental triggers; modern allergy medicine was a big game changer.)

Let’s talk about scoliosis ~~

There are a lot of variations to how scoliosis impacts people. I have very minor scoliosis and it's barely a thing in my life. I’m not trying to speak for everyone, but for what it’s worth, there are professional athletes with spinal fusion. I used Kyra Condie as my justification for writing climbing coach post-spinal fusion small Steve Rogers in one fic. My younger brother and best friend in high school both had spinal fusions.

In reality the athletic and physical abilities of people with spinal fusion vary pretty much exactly as much as people without spinal fusion, so you have a lot of leeway for how you decide to write a character with scoliosis. I recommend reddit threads to read about people talking about how their bodies felt before and after spinal fusion, or why they decided not to have the surgery, if you want to get a sense of how it might affect your character’s day to day life.

Wait, so how tall is modern small Steve Rogers?

You can see in this article that gains in height post scoliosis corrective surgery/spinal fusion varies, but the mean was 27 mm (1 inch) and the maximum was 66 mm (2.5 inches).

The more severe the curve in the spine, the more height gained with surgery.

We know Steve had scoliosis, we don’t know how severe it was (do we?). But if he was 5’4” without spinal fusion, and with all of his childhood fevers, and possible poor nutrition due to the Great Depression and untreated stomach ulcers, then it’s very reasonable that a modern Steve raised with proper nutrition and his gastrointestinal issues (see below!) properly treated and a spinal fusion could be easily 1-10 inches taller.

I think it’s great if you want to write modern Small Steve as 5’4” - but I tend to write him as 5’7” or so.

I think it is entirely likely that a modern Steve Rogers could end up being 6 feet tall given modern medical intervention and a healthy digestive system and adequate nutrition. As an example of how people with more or less the same genetics having different heights due to environmental factors, I know of one family of four brothers that immigrated from Italy in the 40s. Their height was 100% correlated to their age when they moved to the US/started having access to food: the oldest brother was around 5’4” and the youngest around 6 feet. The oldest was also a chain smoker and worked full time from around age 8, so you know, he was a fucking badass 5'4" Italian guy, if that's not clear.

What about fallen arches?

Fun story, but I have fallen arches/flat feet and had a lot of foot pain as a kid, but I thought it was normal. I wear custom orthotics and/or birkenstocks and do exercises to strengthen my feet muscles and it's fine now as long as I remember to do the things I just mentioned. My dad had to have multiple surgeries on his feet, so I think it helped that they caught it earlier in me.

Should I write modern non-serum Steve as deaf?

Maybe! I think it’s lovely when people write characters with hearing issues. There are great blogs that cover ways to do that well (a good link, another one, and another one and I think this one on hearing aids is particularly good if you are trying to bring in subtle day to day routine differences a character that wears hearing aids may have. Another great option is, again, reddit, especially for questions around how sexual intimacy might vary in small ways that can be nice to bring in. (I am working on a fic with a seeing character whose ex is blind and also read a lot of couples first hand experience with sexual intimacy around that dynamic on reddit).

But how likely is it that modern Steve would be deaf?

I think that it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s hearing issues were a result of Scarlet Fever, which is a bacterial infection that can result in rheumatic fever, an inflammatory condition that develops in more severe cases of scarlet fever.

Scarlet fever caused deafness - in fact, both Helen Keller and Thomas Edison had hearing loss due to scarlet fever infections. Further, sustained fevers of over 104 degrees can also cause hearing loss, so there is a reasonable chance that some other fever caused Steve’s hearing issues.

Today, the kind of hearing loss caused by fevers and infections can usually be surgically repaired or never occur because we have better antibiotics and better medicines to treat fevers. However, I have a friend who has partial hearing loss and lots of other life long nervous system and fatigue issues due to complications from childhood chicken pox in the 80s (this vaccine came around in 1995).

I don’t know if it’s canon or fanfiction, but I often see Steve as having one bad ear. For what it’s worth, hearing loss in one ear is much less common than hearing loss in both ears.

However, potential causes of hearing loss in one ear are infections that result in a high fever and some kind of head trauma, both of which are easy to imagine would have affected a Steve born in 1918, and while possible in a modern Steve, also easier to avoid.

Heart Stuff: Heart arrhythmia, High blood pressure, Palpitation of pounding in heart, Easy fatigability

The aforementioned fevers that can cause hearing loss can also cause heart issues. I think it’s reasonably likely that Steve’s heart issues were from his fevers as a young kid, but I often write him with a congenital heart defect, because why not?

These days, most of the time, such issues are detected at or before birth and fixed when the person is a baby, but there are plenty of heart issues that can require multiple heart surgeries at various points. Regardless, a modern Steve would most likely either have had access to corrective surgery or medication to manage these heart conditions. Which is not to say that he wouldn’t suffer mental and physical trauma from this medical complication.

There are plenty of professional athletes you can find who have all of the above heart issues. And plenty of people with heart issues who have no interest in being professional athletes, so like, follow your bliss.

Digestive System Stuff: Easy fatigability, Stomach ulcers, Pernicious anemia

I have easy fatigability under heart stuff too, because lots of shit can make you tired.

My personal head canon is that Steve Rogers has celiac disease and/or lactose intolerance, it would cause all of the above. Both can also lead to poor growth - in fact falling off growth charts is one of the most common symptoms of celiac disease in children.

While people have been aware of celiac disease since there were people, gluten wasn’t identified as the clear cause till the 50s.

I typically write modern Steve with some kind of food allergy, and I think that addresses quite a few of his canon medical complications.

Because so many causes of this category of symptoms are relatively easily solved with modern medical intervention/avoiding the problem, I would point folks towards Crohn’s disease if you are looking to write a modern character with medical issue that is more likely to be an ongoing source of similar medical complications today.

(Also, kids with Crohn’s are likely to have reduced height. I have a friend who has Crohn's whose 3 siblings are well over 6 feet and he is around 5'8" (so 4-6 inches aka 11+ cm shorter due to his severe childhood illness).)

Nervous trouble of any sort

Kids with medical complications and food allergies are much more likely to have anxiety. I’m so proud of all the kids making it through the day with anxiety. Luff you anxiety kids, I see you working twice as hard to be present as the non-anxious kids. Tough as hell. Give yourself a high five. I’m so damn proud of you.

Sinusitis and Frequent colds

I mean, god bless modern decongestants and allergy meds. Celiac disease and lactose intolerance can both cause sinus issues, so here is another one of Steve's ailments that can be "cured" through that diagnosis.

Other stuff

When you look at the above, you can see a lot of scenarios where modern era Steve, like many children/adults today, had multiple surgeries and serious and scary health complications as a child, but as an adult would appear as a relatively healthy able bodied person, with the possibility of even becoming a top athlete if he was so inclined. It’s also likely that some issues like chronic fatigue etc, might linger into adulthood as relatively invisible illnesses that nonetheless affect his everyday.

In some ways his character arc given the advances of modern medicine could mimic his arc due to the serum.

Being medically complicated as a kid sucks. Even if you have surgeries to treat and/or learn how to live with things like Crohn’s and celiac and reduce flare ups, lingering mental health trauma can have an impact.

Lastly and most importantly, I have a personal headcanon that young Steve Rogers of any era spent a lot of time sick in bed and staring into a mirror learning how to raise one eyebrow and perform other eyebrow gymnastics so he could more effectively sass his nurses.

IN CONCLUSION:

I think it's actually reasonable for an author to say, "My modern Steve never had any fevers, and got his severe lactose intolerance diagnosed as a baby, and had good nutrition, had medications/clean environment that prevented his asthma."

So this Steve is 6 feet tall and healthy as long as he doesn't eat dairy and takes his daily zyrtec (cetirizine - it's an allergy med). The only medical issue he has from canon left is scoliosis, flat feet, and an astigmatism.

You can also choose to write a Steve with more complex medical issues, and there are lots of things that can be good and interesting and value about that. I think the main thing is to pick a diagnosis and write it realistically, hopefully this helps some with that!

#stucky fanfiction #smol steve #writing disability #steve roger #pre serum steve rogers #modern steve rogers #honestly whats wrong with me #I don't even know but I feel like I'm dealing with my mental illnesses well enough and I had fun writing this #meta #headcanon #stony fanfiction

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mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea · 6 days

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More Mood Board Madness

The three bingos I co-mod, @marvelrarepairbingo, @scottsummersbingo, and @scoganbingo, are running the Mood Board Madness game again, this time all with the lists of prompts to choose from. I still want to do more for all three, and still need to do at least one for Scogan, but here are the ones for the Scott Summers Bingo and the Marvel Rare Pair Bingo.

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No real write-up for this one. Just pretty images of pretty boys and cute kids. Scott Summers and Tony Stark taking their little family away on a beach vacation. For the Mood Board Madness prompt: Baby/Kids (Parent).

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I got a little carried away on the concept write-up, so I had to save it as an image in order to post it to the MRP Discord, so here it is. Definitely will become a fic on this one at some point. Because I don't have enough WIPs, yanno? For the Mood Board Madness prompts: Horror Movie and Hallmark Romance. (I know what I said.)

Text of the story concept image under the read more.

Concept: James Barnes, drafted into the Army at 25 to fight in a war he had no desire to contribute to, found himself going from private to sergeant not long after setting foot in Viet Nam. He was set to lead a 'special battalion', given so-called special tasks in the darker, unmapped jungles. Like his men, he never understood what made them so special - nobody grunts who hadn't finished (or even gone) to college, made it through high school by the skin of their teeth, and none claiming any sweethearts back home. James only had his mom, sister Becky, and his best friend Steve, who'd wanted so badly to enlist, but due to health issues and him being a straight A student in college, he didn't have to worry about serving at all.

They'd been given all their usual inoculations and some the Army said hadn't even been introduced to the populace as they were specific to protect them from the unknown diseases lying in wait where they were being sent to. The battalion, self-named the Howling Commandos, saw some of the nastiest battles of the war, many of them coming at them in the dead of night. The men were ferocious in battle, never losing, even tearing the enemy limb from limb. They awoke amid bodies that looked as if wild animals had torn into them with their teeth. The longer they were in those jungles, the more vicious they became until one morning, James woke up with only two other survivors from his battalion, and they couldn't remember what happened. After they were sent home, only flashbacks awaited them. After a year of those flashbacks, James was left the sole survivor as Dum Dum and Jim Morita couldn't live with the memories of what they'd done. Of who they ate. James hated those memories, but he dug his heels in, learned to live with what the Army had turned him into with their "inoculations," and decided he didn't mind the taste of human flesh.

It made dating difficult, however, over the years. Not many women or men would've been too happy to learn they were falling in love with a cannibal. Even if James stuck to eating the worst of the worst of society, dining on humans didn't exactly make him boyfriend material. He was grateful when the internet was invented, especially the chat rooms - especially especially the type to draw the darker souls in, the ones he could share his deepest, darkest secret, the one he'd never even been able to stell Stevie about.

It took a year, year and a half, but he met him. The stranger who only called himself Loki, like the Norse Trickster god. He'd spoken up only after James had tossed out a question that most others had taken as a joke - "What do I do with all the blood?" To James' surprise, Loki had the perfect solution to his actual problem.

Loki was a vampire.

It wasn't long before they were speaking in private chat rooms, just the two of them. Sharing jokes, Loki trading recipes for the cannibal's kitchen in exchange for new places to hunt. Okay, so maybe at first, James thought Loki was full of shit - one of those Anne Rice wannabe vampire nutjobs who dressed in goth clothes all the time, pretending to drink blood out of wine glasses, but he never wanted to call the guy out on it in case Loki slapped back by calling him Hannibal in a less than affectionate way.

And then they met face to face. James suggested it first, and after some gentle coaxing (maybe a little begging - what? James was desperate for anyone who could understand him, and for all he adored his best friend, Steve had enough going on in his life with his art showings and taking care of his sick Ma to have to deal with his fucked up monster of a friend), Loki agreed. They met at an all-night diner tucked away in an old Brooklyn neighborhood. When James saw Loki sitting in the booth near the window, he had to smile - he definitely looked like the vampire sort - long dark hair and striking light green eyes, skin the color of the palest coffee milk, an imported Turkish cigarette dangling from his lips. Well, he either looked like a vampire or a musician, though James was pretty sure they weren't mutually exclusive. He sat down, ordered coffee and a steak - bloody rare - and took note that Loki was only drinking coffee with a glass of water next to it. They hit it off right away, and if nothing else, James thought it'd be nice to have a weird and dark-minded new friend to hang out with, though damn the guy was hot, and he'd love to fall in love. He'd love to have someone to fall in love with who'd at least understand that maybe he just had a dark sense of humor about eating people. James glanced out the window at the people walking by on the street, and noticed -

Loki didn't have a reflection.

It's 2024. James and Loki have been together all this time. After going out for two years, they finally moved in together. James went to school to become a chef, and Loki could easily bankroll a posh apartment in Manhattan, though they sprung for an old brownstone that gave them all the room they required for their dietary needs. James never had to worry about what to do with all that blood anymore, and in fact, he might've come up with one or two creative ways to feed it to his boyfriend.

#marvelrarepair bingo #mrp bingo #mrp2024 #scott summers bingo #ssb2024 #Mood Board Madness #Scott Summers #Cyclops #Tony Stark #Iron Man #Mechanical Boy Band #Scott x Tony #Tony x Scott #Loki #Bucky Barnes #Winterfrost #Loki x Bucky #Horror AU

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halfrican-heat · 2 years

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Slow&Steady (S. Rogers)

Summary: AU. Steve has an obsession with the hot owner of his favorite coffee shop. What does Steve have to do to get her to understand that they belong together? (Word Count: 5622)

Pairing: Black!OC x (Soft)Dark!Steve Rogers

Warnings: Cursing, Slow-ish Burn, SMUT, Degradation kink, p in v sex, oral (m receiving), Breeding kink (slight), Female Identifying Reader, Violence, Abusive Situation, Discussions of Abuse, Fighting, Near Death Experience (minor character), Stalking, D/S Elements, (very) Mild Dubious Consent, Body Image Issues

A/N: Hi. I have not posted a story in years, but I didn’t make my masterlist pretty for nothing! So here’s to my first post! Hurray!! I tried to be as detailed as possible with the warnings, so please let me know what I have missed or how I can improve those, please! Also, works part-time at a Starbucks in this universe because I said so lol. It worked well for the banter. Please be patient with me as I get acclimated to writing fandom things again :) It has been a long time. But this felt good to share. Beta’d by me, so I’m sure there may still be some errors. I’ll update those as I see them. Enjoy! -Lyv <3

Masterlist

The bell chimed quietly as he entered. Steve had been coming to see her for weeks now. He was in a rush to get home after work one night but really wanted a good cup of coffee. He was tired of that bland shit his job served, so he stopped by a little hole in the wall. It looked empty save for two or three people lingering, but what caught his eye was the woman behind the counter.

She was breathtaking. The way her hips swayed as she walked, her smirk whenever she found something amusing. She was like a drug to him. He especially loved the way she would snort when something was extremely funny but then cover her mouth, looking around to see if anyone heard. They usually hadn’t. But Steve did. He noticed everything about her. He couldn’t get enough of her.

Her name was Selene. She had deep brown skin that looked kissed by the sun and full lips that curved into that delicious, sexy smirk he loved to see. Her hairstyle varied. Some days it was black with full waves or reddish-brown with loose curls. Other days, her hair was in a coily updo that showcased her thick, gorgeous afro.

A “pineapple” she called it.

It was this hairstyle that greeted Steve as he walked in. Her coils were extra-defined, and she chose to braid her hair up into the puff Steve loved so much. She accented the look with gold beads and stray curls framing her face.

Selene didn’t notice him at first, humming contentedly as she wiped down the counter. Her back was to him, and Steve couldn’t help but admire her full, round ass shift from side to side. She leaned over to scrub a spot across the table, giving him an even better view as she moved forward. Steve licked his lips slowly, clenching his jaw to keep from making a move on her.

Slow and Steady.

That’s what he told himself. So instead, he cleared his throat to catch her attention. She jumped slightly, whipping around. Her face relaxed when she saw it was him. She rolled her eyes playfully, sauntering behind the counter.

“You know it’s near closing, Steve.”

Her voice was like music to his ears and fuel for the ever-growing bulge in his pants. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged, giving her an easy grin.

“No one else is here. Besides, you’ve got the best coffee around.”

She started the machine up, not bothering to ask for his order. She already knew. Her hands moved expertly as she made his drink, never once stumbling or faltering. For a moment, Steve imagined what those hands might feel like on him.

Nails raking down his chest, pulling him closer as he buries his–

“You work at Starbucks, dude.”

Her words pulled him from his thoughts. His cheeks flushed red as he cleared his throat.

“Like I said,” He began, walking to the counter. “You do it better.”

In every single fucking way, he thought.

“Ya damn right we do. I don’t mind taking money from a competitor,” She said, finishing up his drink and sliding it over with a wink.

“There you go. Just how you like it.”

Black and sweet.

“Thanks, Sel. How much?”

“On the house. From one barista to another.”

As Steve reached for the cup their hands grazed. Selene looked up at him, her soft brown eyes swirling with something unreadable. Steve was almost certain it was desire.

She gently bit her lip as they held eye contact, but before Steve could think of something to say she blinked and pulled away.

“Alright, now. Get out. I gotta close up. My baby and I have plans.”

Steve’s hand tightened on his coffee.

“Yeah? What are y’all doing,” He asked, his voice tight.

“Just a lil date night. But I would like to get out on time,” She said, pulling her apron off. “So…”

Steve had to repress a groan at the sight of her body. Soft, supple curves filled out the striking red sweater dress she wore. The subtle v-neck accentuated the swell of her breasts and drew attention to her cleavage. The jiggle of her tits and ass as she jumped a little to reach the hook had Steve thankful her back was turned to him. He was hard as a fuckin’ rock at the moment.

Even still, a rage like white-hot fire burned in his veins. Her baby she had said. Yeah, Steve knew she had a man. But he didn’t give a fuck. That son of a bitch wasn’t shit compared to him. Selene deserved better and Steve knew he could be that for her.

He had heard the way she spoke of her baby to the other baristas when he would stop by on his lunch breaks. How he always complained about her appearance and never wanted to spend time with her. Steve was more than confident this “date night” was her idea and her baby was just an unwilling participant. But she wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. Steve would set things straight.

He just had to get her to see that her boyfriend wasn’t good enough for her. But right now, she was clueless.

So, Steve made up his mind. He was going to make her see.

“Steve. Earth to Steve! I have to go,” She called out, pulling him from his thoughts. “You’re holding me up.”

He blinked, taking a sip from his coffee. Selene arched an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip, silently asking him why the fuck he hadn’t left yet. Steve just smirked and put $20 in the tip jar. Selene frowned, preparing to speak. But before she could, Steve turned and headed out the door.

“I’ll see you around, Selene. Thanks for the coffee.”

Steve walked to his car and got in. But he didn’t pull off. Instead, he watched Selene finish closing up the cafe as he drank his coffee. She flipped the open sign to “closed” and locked the door behind her before hopping into her car. As soon as she pulled off, Steve started his car up and followed her, glancing at the time. It was 7:15. From previous conversations, Steve knew that Selene lived 15 minutes away so their date night was probably at 8:00. Thinking of the sexy red number she had on, Steve didn’t think she needed to get ready.

But he knew she would want to freshen up and change.

When she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building, Steve intentionally drove past it before looping around and finding a spot down the road. From where he was parked, he could still see her car and had a good view of her apartment building. He watched as she got out of the car, taking another sip of his lukewarm coffee. He didn’t really like coffee once it got started to cool down. The burn of hot coffee on his tongue reminded him that he was alive. So no, Steve wasn’t a fan of cooled coffee.

But Selene had made it, and Steve would be damned if he let a single drop go to waste.

Once Selene was in her building, Steve got out of his car. He followed the path he watched her take, dumping his empty coffee cup on the way. Each apartment was two stories, so all he had to do was find the front door that looked like hers. And judging by the coffee-themed welcome mat in front of one of the doors, he was sure he had found it.

Apartment D. Fitting, he thought.

So, Steve stepped aside and found a shadowy spot between Apartment C and D. This spot kept him hidden but gave him a perfect view of parking space D– so he could see when Selene’s baby would arrive. Steve wasn’t sure what his plan would be when the guy did show up, but he decided that

he would have time to figure out the minor details while he waited. He checked his phone. 7:40.

The fucker was due any minute.

But as the minutes ticked by, he didn’t show. Steve leaned against the wall, checking his phone again. 8:05. By the time 8:20 rolled around, Steve had taken to scrolling through the few pictures of Selene he had on his phone. He had gotten so wrapped up admiring her that he didn’t notice the shabby-looking vehicle pull into the parking spot in front of Selene’s building. It wasn’t until he heard Selene’s voice that his head shot up. He checked the time.

8:45

That son of a bitch was 45 minutes late to his date with Selene. Steve felt his rage returning full force, his jaw clenching.

“Where have you been, Theo?”

Theo? What type of square ass name is that?

“Don’t worry about that. You tryna leave or not, Selena?”

Steve couldn’t see the couple, but he could imagine the way Selene was looking at him. Her brow was probably furrowed with one eyebrow arched and her hands on her hips. Her head would be tilted to the side as she kissed her teeth. He’d seen the look plenty of times when watching her deal with disrespectful (usually white) customers. He heard her scoff a little.

“Selena? What bitch you know named Selena?”

Theo clicked his teeth. “Girl, don’t start with that shit. I ain’t mean it like that.”

Steve edged out of the shadows a little. He could see a little more clearly now. Theo’s back was to him but he wasn’t much taller than Steve. He was fair-skinned with a low-cut fade and some busted-up Jordans on his feet. He didn’t have much in the way of muscle, looking about as thin as a toothpick.

But he could see Selene clearly, and he felt his breath falter for a moment. She had changed out of the red sweater dress and into something more revealing. It was a black two-piece set. The top was single-shouldered and cropped, showing off Selene’s midriff while the skirt had two long slits running up the side, giving Steve an excellent view of her toned thighs. Steve licked his lips, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

Her makeup was darker than before, making her eyes look sexy and mysterious. Selene’s plump, full lips were painted dark crimson with a light gloss on top. Her tits were sitting perfectly in her top and from the way her nipples hardened as a slight breeze blew, she definitely wasn’t wearing a bra. Steve’s cock twitched in his pants. He adjusted himself, moving closer so he could hear better.

“So you getting your ass in this car or no? Cause you wastin’ my time if not.”

Selene scoffed again and rolled her eyes.

“The reservation was 45 minutes ago, so no. I’m not going nowhere with you, Theo,” Selene snapped, turning to head back into her house.

It was at that moment that Theo made his first fatal mistake. He snatched Selene by her upper arm, pulling the girl toward him forcefully. Steve restrained himself.

Slow and steady.

“Nah, bitch. I ain’t come out here for nothing. Either we eating or we fuckin’. Your choice.”

“Let me go, Theo. I don’t owe you shit.”

Selene tried to pull away, but Theo pushed her against the brick wall of her apartment.

“You gone do what the fuck I tell you to do. You run that mouth so much, how about you show me what it do.”

Mistake two. Steve was seeing red and ready to jump from the shadows. He close his eyes to compose himself but could feel his rage steadily rising. But then he heard a groan and the sound of a fist connecting with a face.

“Get your fucking hands off me, Theo. I ain’t nobody’s bitch.”

Steve watched as Selene’s fist connected with Theo’s face again, causing the dude to fall into his rusted jalopy. Selene turned to leave, not noticing Theo preparing to lunge at her. Steve took his chance.

He leaped forward and pulled Theo backward, snatching him up by the collar. He could smell the cheap alcohol on Theo’s breath. Steve punched him in the face for a third time, causing the drunken man to fall on his ass. Theo stumbled to his feet, attempting to tackle him, but Steve maneuvered around the staggering man and pushed him to the ground.

“The fuck are you doing, man? Get outta here,” Steve shouted, kicking Theo in his back.

Steve turned to Selene, immediately checking her for injuries. She stepped back, looking at him confused.

“Steve, what the hell are you doing here? Wh–”

“Relax, relax,” He interrupted, trying to placate her. “I was leaving my cousin’s place and I heard him. I wanted to help.”

She relaxed for a moment, wrapping her arms around herself. She tucked a stray coil behind her ear.

“W-well thank you. I didn’t really need your help but I appreciate it.”

He cautiously placed his hands on Selene’s shoulders, relishing in the feeling of her silky smooth skin under his hands.

“Selene, is he always like that?”

She shrugged. “When he drinks, yeah. But I can handle myself. Ain’t shit he gone do to me that I don’t want done.”

Pride rose in Steve’s chest. Most girls said things like that. Things that downplayed the abuse they faced, but Steve knew Selene meant it. Wasn’t shit gonna happen to his baby and definitely not while he was around. It was then that Steve knew he loved her. Fully and completely.

She could take care of herself, yes, but she wouldn’t have to anymore. Steve loved fiercely and fully, willing to do whatever it took to protect his loved ones. And Selene was obviously the love of his life.

Steve started to speak, but the bastard on the ground clearly didn’t get enough of having his ass beat.

“You need some white ass, Superman-looking nigga to save you? Bitch, I knew you wasn’t shit with yo’ fat ass.”

Theo laughed scathingly as Steve watched the look of pain flash across Selene’s face. She immediately schooled her features into an impassive mask, but Steve saw it. He saw how the words affected her. And it pissed him off.

Strike three.

He took a heavy breath before turning on Theo. It was as if he blacked out, his body moving before his mind could catch up. His fists moved of their own volition, slamming into Theo’s face. Theo’s hands flailed, smacking at Steve a few times but those weak slaps and scratches didn’t phase him. Steve was shouting but he had no idea what he was even saying. His rage blinded him as he put all his effort into destroying the man that hurt his girl.

“Steve! Steve, stop! You’re gonna fucking kill him,” Selene screamed. “Please!”

“Let him die,” Steve growled in response.

Theo was barely conscious by this point, probably near death, as Steve reared back to land one more fatal punch. Selene grabbed his arm mid-swing.

“Steve,” She said slowly. “You gotta stop. This ain’t the hood. Someone is gonna call the fucking cops.”

Steve gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the calming effect her touch had on him. With a frustrated sigh, Steve got up. Theo’s head rolled to the side and for a chilling moment he went completely limp, but then he coughed and groaned in pain. Satisfied, he turned back to Selene with his eyes blazing. Danger radiated off him in waves.

“You better have a good fucking reason for stopping me.”

Selene swallowed slowly, gently grabbing his arm.

“Let’s go inside. Let’s get you cleaned up before the police come.”

Steve allowed her to tug his arm forward, letting her guide him into the apartment. He hesitated at the threshold, looking over his shoulder at Theo.

“Watch your fucking mouth, bitch,” He spit at the barely conscious man on the ground.

Then, he allowed Selene to pull him into the apartment.

Steve sat in silence for a while as Selene moved through different rooms in her apartment. While he waited, Steve looked around.

It was almost how he had imagined. Decorated minimally but with tons of personality. The color scheme was shades of orange and yellow with white accents. The pictures on her wall were afro-centric with a few plants spread around the space. It looked so much like her. Simple but vibrant and enticing.

The plush yellow sofa he sat on was adjacent to the door, facing a nicely sized television with a small glass coffee table between the two. Steve felt like he could make himself at home there.

There was a kitchen area separated by a pass-through with little bar stools in front of it.

Selene rounded the corner, with a first aid kit and a bowl of water.

She sat gingerly on the glass table in front of him, avoiding eye contact. Steve stared at her unabashedly, waiting for her to speak. She didn’t.

Instead, she took his hands in hers and started to clean them, dipping a rag from the kit in the bowl occasionally. When she felt his hands were cleaned well enough, she put ointment on them and wrapped them in gauze.

Then, she moved on to the scratches on his face. For the first time since they came into the apartment, she met his eyes. Steve could see the conflict in them and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her until she was breathless.

She looked away, focusing on his wounds instead. He hissed a little as the antiseptic touched his skin and she giggled lightly. A large grin broke out on Steve’s face at the sound.

“Something funny?”

She met his eyes again, her hand resting on his cheek. Her eyes were light for the first time since Steve arrived at her apartment. His smile softened and he rested his hand on top of hers. She swallowed thickly, biting her lip.

“Well?” Steve whispered.

They leaned in slowly, hesitantly. But at the last second, Selene looked away and separated herself from Steve.

“Uh, you’ll need to put some ointment on your scratches. A-And you’ll have to take off your shirt. You can’t have all that blood on your shirt when you leave.”

“I don’t think it really matters with the comatose guy lying on the ground outside your apartment. You called the cops, right?”

Selene nodded, pacing away from him. Her hands covered her midsection as she fiddled with her fingers.

“Yeah, the ambulance. But…this wouldn’t be the first time the cops got a call about Theo. He’s a bit of a nuisance if you couldn’t tell.”

Understatement of the fucking year.

Still, Steve pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion. He heard her breath hitch and smirked a little.

“Yeah, well what are you gonna tell them about his…condition?” Steve asked.

“He got into a drunken fight with another drunk who ran off when I threatened to call the cops.”

Steve nodded, considering her words.

“Cool. Okay, then.”

Selene nodded, pursing her lips. She wrapped her arms around herself and seemed to be considering her words before she spoke again.

“Steve, what are you doing here?”

“I got a cousin in the area, two doors down actually. I was walking to my car,” He lied easily.

“Oh for real? He lives in 2B?”

“Yeah, something like that. He needed help with his TV.”

“Oh. Well, that’s funny ‘cause I don’t recall any men staying with Ms. Carter. She’s a widow.”

He blinked. Maybe she wasn’t as clueless as he’d thought.

“W-well, I can explain–”

“Save it, Steve. I’m not fucking stupid. What are you doing here?”

Maybe it was the way she had spoken to him or the distrust in her eyes, but something inside of Steve cracked. Something dark and possessive, twisting and curving like black ink, coursed through his veins. It consumed him in a way that could only be satiated by devouring her entirely.

“No, you are.”

“Excuse me? What are you talking about?”

Steve stood and crossed to her, his full height dwarfing hers as he backed her against the wall of her island counters. Both hands caged her head between him and the wall. Selene took a heavy breath, trying her best to look unbothered.

But Steve knew he was affecting her. He could almost see the lustful spark in her eyes.

“You are fucking stupid because you wasted your time on that fucking waste of space —

He moved his mouth to her ear, his voice lowering.

—when I have been right here.”

He pushed off the wall, putting some space between him and Selene.

Slow and steady, he reminds himself. So, he takes a calming breath.

“You’ve been giving yourself to a man who isn’t worth more than the dirt under your fucking boot,” Steve all but growls. “So, I got fucking tired of it.”

“That’s not your place, Steve! I’m a grown woman. I can handle myself!” Selene shouted, moving toward him.

“Does it look like I give a fuck? Cause I don’t,” He shot back, inching forward as well. “You’re mine. And it’s time you act like it.”

“Excuse me? Who the fuck are you talking to!”

Selene closed the space between them, attempting to shove him backward but he grabbed her hands the moment they touched his firm chest.

“Stop it,” He said. “I won’t tell you again.”

That dangerous edge rolled off him again, swirling around Selene like an intoxicating scent. She took a shallow breath, finding herself lost in his intense glare. They were a soft blue that darkened as he cupped her face gently. The heat of his gaze brought out the green tone of his eyes, causing a riot to break loose inside Selene. The danger in his eyes spread through her like a thick black haze, infecting her insides and muddling her brain. Her eyes flickered down to his lips as she bit hers again.

Selene leaned in closer, “Steve…” She whispered. “I— I don’t even know you.”

Their lips were only a breath apart. “You will,” He whispered.

Then, their lips crashed together. He dominated her easily with his mouth as her hands found his hips, stroking his v-lines and the outline of his abs. Her hands felt like heaven on his skin as he held the back of her head, deepening the kiss.

She moaned into his mouth, fiddling with the button on his jeans. He pushed her hands away, grinning as they parted.

“Eager? Don’t worry, baby, you’ll get what you want. But there is something I want first.”

He took her hand, leading her over to the couch. He sat, looking up at her expectantly.

“I think you should thank me. Don’t you?”

Selene smiled coyly, kneeling in front of him slowly.

“Yeah..I should.”

She undid his jeans, helping him maneuver his pants and boxers down. Steve’s dick sprung free, full and erect. He released a sigh of relief that turned into a groan as she gently took him in her hands.

She could barely hide the surprise on her face as her hand could barely wrap around his cock. Steve wasn’t too long, but definitely longer than average and he was thick as hell.

The thought of him stretching her open had Selene’s pussy clenching as a new wave of lust crashed over her. Slick, wet arousal filled her panties as she licked her lips, leaning forward to take him in her mouth.

She started slowly, using her tongue to tease up his shaft. She then licked from the base to the tip, flattening her tongue and making sure to flick the base of his tip. She relished in the moans coming from him and took that as a cue to go further. She sucked his tip in her mouth, humming happily as he bucked his hips.

Meanwhile, Steve was in heaven. He could barely think as she swirled around the tip, teasing it with little flicks of her tongue. With one hand resting on his thigh, she brought the other up to massage his balls as she took more of him in her mouth.

As the sensation of her sucking him off and massaging his balls ran through him, Steve had to restrain himself from saying those three little words. Instead, he said them on repeat in his head like a mantra.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Steve’s hands flew to Selene’s head, trying to be mindful of her carefully done hair. She started to move her mouth rapidly up and down his shaft, gagging as she tried to take all of him. Steve’s breath hitched as he hit the back of her throat each time she took him deeper.

Unable to control himself, he started thrusting into her mouth. His actions drew loud whimpers and moans from her as she relaxed her jaw and allowed him to fuck her face.

Feeling himself coming close, he pulled her off him with a satisfying pop.

Removing his clothes all the way, he stroked himself as he watched her stand and strip out of her clothes. She hesitated at her skirt but turned her back to him, pulling it down. Steve frowned.

He would kill every son of a bitch that ever made this woman feel bad about her body.

Selene was toned, sure, but being a thicker girl meant having more to love in certain areas. Specifically the stomach area. But Steve felt it added to her sex appeal and for her to hide was offensive to him.

“Princess, don’t do that. Don’t hide from me. Get over here.”

Selene turned around, her arms wrapped around her midsection. She stepped over to him, her eyes downcast. Steve reached for her and positioned her over his hard cock. She shifted, desperate to sink down onto his waiting erection. But Steve held her hips firmly, waiting for her to make eye contact.

When she did, he finally spoke.

“You don’t hide from me, you got that? You’re mine. You’re beautiful.”

Selene averted her eyes again.

“Look at me, Selene.”

Selene hesitated. She wasn’t used to taking orders, but something in her wanted to please him. It went against everything she believed in. Submitting to a white man? Hell no. But still, Selene found herself nodding slowly, meeting his eyes.

“I hear you. Now, are you gonna fuck me or what?”

At her words, Steve grinned and bucked his hips upward. He slid his cock against her wet folds, the sound of her wetness filling the room. Her tight grip on his shoulders, the burn of her nails digging into his flesh, anchored him as his head rolled back on the couch. Feeling her wetness drove him absolutely wild but he worked hard to savor the moment– to let her feel exactly what she did to him.

Steve wanted to take his time with her but his restraint slowly fell apart the more needy her moans grew.

Slow and steady, slow and steady, slow and—

“Steve, please. I need it,” She whined.

And just like that. His resolve snapped.

“Fuck it,” Steve growled, flipping them over.

He threw her leg over his shoulder, the other resting on the back of the couch, and finally slid home. Steve’s eyes rolled to the back of his head at how tight Selene was.

“Fuck,” He hissed. “Fuck, you’re so perfect, baby. Made for me.”

Selene cried out at the drag of his cock as he pulled out, biting back a scream as he slammed back in. He held her leg tightly on his shoulder as he pumped in and out of her at a rapid pace, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. Her tits bounced in tandem with his movements as he fucked her deeper.

Passion ignited the air as Steve finally laid claim to the beautiful woman beneath him. He leaned down, pressing their lips together, swallowing her moans. She pulled him closer, her nails raking down his back.

“You like that? You like the way I fuck you?” Steve teased, his voice breathy and deep.

“Yes, yes,” She sobbed, feeling dizzy with pleasure. Tears leaked from her eyes at the pleasurable burn Steve’s dick provided. She had never felt so full before.

“Who do you belong to, Selene? Tell me whose pussy this is.”

“Yours! I’m yours!” She screamed. “Steve, I’m so close. I feel like—“

A sharp cry escaped her lips as she clenched tightly around his shaft. Steve’s head fell back.

“Fuck yes, baby. Good girl.”

He fucked her through her orgasm, feeling himself reaching his peak. Closer, closer—

Then sirens sounded outside.

Steve stilled, panting quietly. Selene’s eyes widened as she peeked over his shoulder, watching the blue lights flash. And seeing those lights sent a thrill through Steve.

Then, he had a devious idea.

“It’s the fucking cops,” She whispers. “Steve—“

He shushed her, pulling out. She winced at the loss but became confused as Steve pulled her from the couch and over by the door.

He pushed her against the wall, hiking her leg up around his waist. He slid back into her, covering her mouth with his hand when she let out a loud gasp.

Steve started to move inside her, angling himself just right so he could pull those beautiful cries from her throat.

��You better be quiet, princess,” He taunted. “Unless you want them to hear you fucking the man who beat the shit out of your ex-boyfriend.”

Selene whined, her eyes rolling back as he hit that spot deep inside her. Her pussy clenched around him, drawing a low groan from Steve. He grinned.

“You would love that, wouldn’t you? You would love to have them walk in and find me shooting my load into this tight cunt, wouldn’t you?”

Selene pulled him closer, feeling herself rise to a higher peak.

“Oh my god,” She whispered, her voice tight. “Steve, I’m so close.”

“Again?”

She nods into his shoulder, pulling him as close as she possibly can. Steve lifts Selene up, both legs around his waist now, fucking into her harder. Selene’s head rolls back onto the wall, her face entirely blissed out.

Anchoring her between his pelvis and the wall, Steve eased a finger between the two of them and rubbed her clit in tight circles.

“Come on,” He urged. “Do it, princess.”

Selene came with a scream, her hands tangled in Steve’s hair. Her body seized up, trapping his dick inside of her as he continued to give her slow, deep pumps. The look of pure ecstasy on her face, and the rough tug she gave his roots as he continued to fuck her, sent him reeling. He pulled out quickly, spinning her around. She braced against the wall and poked her ass out, desperate for more of him.

Instead, Steve jerked himself off spilling his seed on her back and ass. Selene moaned at the sensation, resting her head against the wall.

They stayed there in silence, cum and sweat rolling down Selene’s back. Their heavy breaths filled the space between them. Steve held himself up on the wall, on hand still gripping her waist. Selene’s legs shook from the effort it took to remain standing. With a breathless laugh, Steve started to speak but–

“Uh. The young man outside has been taken to the hospital. Would you like to make a statement?”

The voice came from the other side of the door. He sounded young, new to the job, and unsure how to proceed.

Steve and Selene both stifled laughs as he moved away to grab his discarded shirt. He wiped down Selene’s back and she turned to him, pressing a heated kiss to his lips. Steve immediately deepened the kiss, gripping her ass as he pulled her closer.

The officer on the other side of the door cleared his throat awkwardly and spoke again—

“I’ll just leave my card.”

With that, the screen door closed and the sound of sirens pierced through the air.

But the couple didn’t hear them, too drunk on one another to care about anything else.

Steve was the first to pull away for a breath, grinning widely at her.

“How about we get cleaned up, princess? I think I have some scratches on my back you should look at.”

Selene laughed, taking his hand and leading him toward the bathroom.

Steve knew they would need to talk soon, but for now, he was content to fuck her like she deserved and worship her body. Because now that he had gotten a taste, he wasn’t going to let her go. She was his and he was going to make sure she knew that. Besides, she didn’t seem bothered by who Steve really was.

She seemed content with the dark thing that lurked inside of him. She had seen it. Felt it move inside of her as she writhed underneath him and came with bated breath. Selene seemed comfortable with him. Perhaps it was wishful thinking but…maybe she loved him, too.

Slow and steady, He reminded himself.

He had time to make her love him. And he would do whatever he needed to, and get rid of whoever, in order for that to happen. Though he didn’t think it would take much time at all for her to see they were meant to be.

Because maybe there was something dark inside her, too.

Slow and Steady, He thought as he hoisted her up in the shower and slid into her with ease.

Slow and Steady.

Backup blog: @thegirlonhamilton

Masterlist

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Consent/18+ Banner by @maysdigitalarts

Title Banner by Me :)

#Chris Evans #Steve Rogers #steve rogers smut #black writer #Written By Lyv #Stever Rogers x Black!OC #Black Reader #Black Writer #Marvel Fanfic #Fanfic for Black Girls #Black Girl Fanfic #Smut #so much smut #my writing #Chris Evans Smut #Original Character

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onceuponastory · 2 years

Text

normal - steve kemp x reader: chapter four: inner darkness

I'm a slave to your addiction, your affection and your friction - hook line and sinker by royal blood

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Kemp x Female!Reader. Chapter Warnings: 18+ ONLY PLEASE. Mentions of: death/murder, dead bodies, cannibalism (basically everything Steve does to people in Fresh), blood, slight stalking mentions, vomit, blood, anxiety and bullying/past trauma. Also, some smut: mentions of sex (no descriptions of it, just mentioned) and masturbation. And of course: Steve Kemp just being Steve Kemp because that man is a warning all on his own. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: I said to myself I was going to make this chapter a filler one aaaand it’s ended up being over 6k words so, oops? Also for some reason tumblr refused to tag anyone on my taglist when I posted chapter three, so if you missed it, please go read it and show it some love.

Credit to my wonderful best friend @thesundrop / @staticscreenwriting for my new dividers! Be sure to check out her writing, she’s great.

Early the following morning, Y/N wakes up. Her entire body is cold and achy, and her head is pounding. Frowning, she soon realises that she fell asleep on her bathroom floor. For a moment, she wonders why the hell she fell asleep on her bathroom floor rather than in her bed. However, as soon as she asks herself that question, the previous night’s events come flooding back to her. Her mind fills with images of her and Steve together, kissing each other and touching each other’s bodies. Almost fucking each other. Y/N’s stomach churns. A part of her is starting to realise that she likes those kinds of dreams…and maybe wants them to happen in real life. And that scares her more than anything in the entire world. Especially considering the people she’s been in contact with throughout her job.

She leans against the wall, trying to calm herself down and be rational…but failing. Why the fuck did her brain do this to her? She doesn’t understand it. Naturally, as a psychologist, she knows that plenty of people have sex dreams about someone. This, though, is different. This is having a sex dream about a fucking cannibalistic serial killer. And fucking enjoying it. God knows what Sigmund Freud would have to say about her. He’d probably have a field day, the fucking weirdo.

Of course, she knows a part of her has been attracted to Steve ever since she met him, but she always thought that was because of how conventionally attractive he looks. For the longest time, that was the deepest she thought her attraction to Steve Kemp went, and that was…okay to her. Well, as okay as it could be. She just never imagined it would turn out like this, with her seriously considering if she is actually falling in love with him or if this is some kind of perverted lust. And for a moment, she feels another spark of excitement throughout her body at the very thought of it being love. One she tries desperately to ignore. Because despite the number of exciting feelings she’s felt about Steve, she knows she can’t act on them or even entertain the thought of them being real. For obvious reasons, of course, but there’s another thought on her mind. One that’s been there ever since she started working at the FBI.

Sometimes, whenever she finds herself intrigued by the serial killers that she encounters, Y/N worries that it’s because her interest goes beyond a simple fascination. If it actually means that there’s some kind of darkness in her too, and if it will awaken and take over upon meeting the ‘right’ person one day. Of course, she knows that’s not true, considering the number of people she’s met over the years without any issues. Or at least, it wasn’t true back then. Because, as she said before, Steve is different, and she feels differently about him. So now…she’s wondering if Steve Kemp is the person to awaken her inner darkness. Her mind replays Steve’s looks towards her and him biting his lip. She always thought they were just him wondering what she tastes like…but she wonders if something else is there. If he senses there’s a darkness within her too, and he’s just waiting for the moment to encourage it to come out. And for a fleeting moment…Y/N feels a slight excitement at that prospect.

Her stomach churns once more, and she rushes to the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach into it, holding on for dear life as her body shakes. Whether with dread or excitement…she doesn’t know.

“Fuck!” Y/N hisses. She almost considers banging her head against the wall in the hopes it removes any and all thoughts of Steve Kemp from her mind. Despite how interesting the prospect sounds, she decides against it. She’d rather try other options before knocking herself out. She sighs, looking up at her ceiling. Maybe she’ll just have to go cold turkey again, but this time for good. She’ll just have to go to her boss and say something about how uncomfortable she is with the whole situation...and ignore the pang in her heart at the thought of leaving Steve again.

“Fucking quitter. Told you there's no way she can handle this.” Familiar memories play through her mind. Voices that she swears she locked away years and years ago…but still manage to rear their ugly heads from time to time. Voices she promised never to let herself listen to or believe. The memories are soon replaced by others: pictures of the crime scenes, of all the things that happened to these poor women…and how she’s one of the only ones who can stop it from happening again. Y/N sighs. There’s no way she can stop seeing Steve. At least, not now. She can’t have any more blood on her hands.

Pulling herself up, she considers calling in sick to her work or just working from home today. She’s too tired and preoccupied with her conflicting brain to be surrounded by people today, especially her co-workers. Unfortunately, it’s only then that she remembers that she has another meeting with her boss and the police chief, who are expecting another report on her findings. It’s something she can’t miss. Groaning, she suddenly catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. God, she looks fucking awful. Her hair is a mess, and there are giant bags under her eyes. Sighing, Y/N turns on her shower, hoping both it and her makeup work to at least make her look semi-presentable.

After all, what is that they say about concealer hiding a multitude of sins? Although Y/N thinks she might need a miracle to cover all of hers at this rate.

Later that morning, Y/N walks towards her boss’s office, ready to present her new findings to him and the chief. She can feel her hands getting clammier with nervousness, which isn’t helped by the sight of some of her co-workers staring at her, most with an unfriendly look, whispering to each other. Y/N sighs. Her co-workers have never seemed to like her, even when she first started at the FBI, and she has no idea why. Of course, it could be because, like Steve said, she’s a woman entering a predominantly male-dominated building, so they don’t like their testosterone challenged by someone like her, and they’re jealous of her success.

Although that argument seems to make a lot of sense, Y/N has still always wondered if people at her job hate her so much because they also think she has a hidden darkside. Maybe, like her, they worry that after meeting so many dark and evil people, she’s just as wicked, and that they’re in some sort of danger by working with her. Of course, she understands that what she does is scary - especially if these past few weeks are anything to go by - so she doesn’t hold that part against them. It’s just upsetting and frustrating to constantly be whispered about and treated like the devil incarnate for just doing her job, and it doesn’t help to prevent her anxieties either.

However, convincing everyone that just because she works with evil people, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s evil too is proving more difficult than she expected. And as everyone knows, when it comes to darkness, Steve Kemp is definitely full of it. Not to mention that for some reason, how close she and Steve are is somehow public knowledge to the whole agency, no doubt spread by one of her co-workers. Although to her, Steve is probably the one person she’s currently the closest to or even the person she’s been the closest to in her whole life, she’d never outright admit it to any of them, despite it being the hot gossip of the office. Understandably, most people do not want to be friends with someone like Steve Kemp. Sometimes though, Y/N wishes they could see the Steve that she sees. The same Steve who always seems happy to see her and compliments her and her intelligence constantly…even if it’s usually to boost himself and his ego. Maybe they’d feel a little differently after hearing that.

Y/N groans. Oh god, what is she even saying? Is she seriously trying to convince herself that Steve Kemp is a good person if they look a little deeper? And hoping that people might believe her? God, she really needs a break from this case.

“Freak.” Someone mutters under their breath as she walks by. Y/N tries to ignore the tears stinging her eyes and takes a deep breath, walking past the person without another word. Either way, she’d rather they didn’t stare at her because it’s not helping her nerves. However, before she has enough time to dwell on it, the door to the meeting room opens, and her boss quickly welcomes her inside.

Y/N works her way through her report, trying to seem awake. The last thing they need to know is that she was up all night trying to ignore what may or may not be growing feelings for Steve Kemp. Thankfully, with so much time spent pretending to be interested in what serial killers have to say under her belt, Y/N feels like she’s a bit of an expert at hiding her true feelings from others. “Going forward, I advise we go through the list of business partners and clientele that Ste-Mister Kemp….” She quickly corrects herself, hoping they didn’t notice her slip up. “...has happily provided us with.” She passes over printouts of the lists to each man. “Some of them are based in the US, but some are further afield. Mister Kemp stated he has not been in contact with them all, but some of them may well have clientele or…other interested parties within the US who could be our guy.” She explains.

“Thank you, Agent Y/L/N.” The police chief nods, and she smiles.

“No need to thank me, Sir. It’s my job.” Her eyes glance to her boss, who’s currently deep in thought.

“Oh! Yes, thank you, Y/N, for your information. I’m sorry, I was just thinking about the size of this list and its potential to spread out even further…I think you might need reinforcements.” Y/N gulps, hoping it doesn’t mean her co-workers will join her. It’s bad enough having them staring at her and making comments about her, let alone having to work close by them on a case or taking them to see Steve. That would be a nightmare for everyone. “Don’t you worry about that, though. I’ll sort it, and you go and do whatever it was you were working on before this. No doubt trying to solve the case, right Y/N?” He grins, gently waving her away. Y/N nods, chuckling lightly. If only he knew what she was really thinking about.

“Tell me more about the victims.” Steve orders the next time she sees him.

“All women, usually about college age. All students.” She replies. Steve nods.

“I see. Now tell me, why do you think he is stalking and hunting for people on a college campus, the one place where he can be seen and where people might recognise him?”

“Because he doesn’t care about getting caught. He just knows we don’t have anything worthy of an arrest yet.” Y/N answers. “Either that or he’s Mister Fucking Invisible, which sounds even more likely as time goes on. God, I just wanna catch this guy!” She exclaims, frustratingly throwing the file onto the ground.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. I told you already, I’ll help you catch him. No need to get so upset.” Steve reassures her. Although she knows he’s still probably using this as an opportunity to show his arrogance, the softness in Steve’s voice catches her off guard.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I just…I haven’t been sleeping well, and with this case constantly on my mind-” she explains.

“Y/N.” Steve cuts her off. His voice is a little firmer, but there’s still a softness to it. Y/N stops quickly, expecting him to say something about how much he hates it when people apologise for no reason or complain. To her surprise, however, Steve repeats: “It’s okay. I told you already. No need to apologise or explain.” She waits for a moment, still expecting it to be followed by a comment about himself and his ego. Yet still, nothing comes, and she frowns slightly. That’s…different. “Are you ready to continue now?” She nods, still somewhat confused. Of course, it’s not the first time he’s said something to her or reassured her…but it feels different now somehow. It feels good. And she likes it.

“Now. I assume all the victims were in limited contact with their parents and classmates?” Steve continues. When she agrees, he grins. “I knew it. It’s a classic tactic people like me use. That way, they won’t be missed.” She almost pukes at that. ‘People like me’. What a weird way to describe serial killers, as if they’re just normal people. Steve looks her over once more. “Tell me, Y/N…are you close to your family?” Her eyes widen slightly, remembering his modus operandi, and he sighs. “Not like that. You’re perfectly safe with me.” He reassures her once again. Y/N’s still not sure whether or not she believes that, though. “Just wondering as part of our quid pro quo.” Steve asks. Sighing, Y/N tries to ignore all the bad memories going through her mind. She shakes her head.

“No. No, I’m not.” She admits. “Turns out most parents aren’t too proud of their child talking to serial killers and criminals for a living. It’s not exactly something to bring up at a dinner party.” She jokes awkwardly, hoping that Steve takes the hint and realises that this is not a route she wants to go down, not now, not ever. Steve looks her over, a strange look on his face.

“Well, for the record…I’m proud of you.” She frowns, taking a moment to determine if she misheard him.

“You’re…you’re what?”

“I’m proud of you, Y/N.” He repeats. “It takes a lot of guts to do something like this, and I’m glad you’re here. You’re special, you know that? It’s not that often, or ever people like you get people like me to talk.” She feels her heart rate rising and her cheeks burning. She opens her mouth in an attempt to speak, but can’t get the words out. Steve’s words have thrown her for a loop, and she has no idea how to respond. Her deeper thoughts and desires towards Steve come back to her again, and she gasps. He thinks she’s special? Like…genuinely? Is that why she thinks she likes him? Is it all just because Steve shows her love and appreciation when nobody else does? “Y/N? What is it?”

“You….N-Nobody’s ever said that to me before.” She replies. “You’ve never been this nice to me before.” The words leave her mouth before she can even stop them, and she immediately clamps her hand over her mouth, knowing she messed up. However, to her surprise, Steve doesn’t seem to be annoyed by her comment.

“Well. I guess I’m full of surprises, aren’t I?” He chuckles. “Now, come on. Let’s look at this file again, shall we?”

Y/N holds up a photo to show Steve. “Do you recognise anything? Or…have any opinions?” As Steve looks over the picture, Y/N watches him curiously. Even when faced with images showing the scale of human depravity, Steve’s face barely changes. His lack of empathy is eerie. Then again, she can’t exactly be too surprised, considering the sort of person he is. How could she ever think she’s attracted to someone like this?

“I’m proud of you.” His words from only a few moments before echo in her mind. Oh yeah. That’s why. She looks over him once more, staring at his silvery-blue eyes, which are far more beautiful than scary. Her eyes go even lower, tracing along Steve’s sharp jawline. She can feel her breath hitching in her throat. If you just ignore all the murder and cannibalism…he is really fucking attractive. If he wasn’t the kind of person he was…she’d probably happily date him. Even if a small part of her is still unexplainably excited by how twisted and evil Steve is.

Y/N’s entire body shudders as she realises what she just thought. Oh god, what is she even saying? She just admitted to wanting to date a serial killer. She came here to try and solve murders, not debate the attractiveness of Steve Kemp…even if he is pretty fucking hot. “Oh, he is bad, isn’t he?” Steve muses, utterly oblivious to Y/N’s mental turmoil. He looks up, realising Y/N is staring at him. He frowns, and Y/N’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. “Y/N? Are you sure you’re alright?” He asks. Y/N nods, too scared to open her mouth in case her thoughts escape. Steve continues to look at her curiously, as if he knows she’s hiding something from him, making her gulp. Thankfully, he says nothing more and begins his explanation of the photos.

In all honesty, Y/N’s not even sure if the rest of Steve’s words register in her mind. His praise from only a few moments ago is the only thing in her head, and it constantly replays, along with one other thought: the fact she’d date him. Ever since she and Steve started talking, she’s been worried about being attracted to him, wondering if, as she feared, it means she’s just as evil as him. And now it’s probably true. After all, why else would she feel this way about him? With tears stinging in her eyes once more, Y/N speeds through the rest of the interview, hoping to get away from Steve as quickly as possible. She knows he can definitely tell something is up with her, but she’s too panicked by everything else to even think about that. When the guard comes to collect her, Y/N quickly says goodbye to Steve, leaving before he can say much else.

Once outside of the cell, Y/N lets out a massive sigh of relief.

“Wow. It was that bad this time, huh?” The guard asks.

“Oh! Um, no. I was just kinda out of it today. This case is keeping me up at night. I need sleep.” She lies, hoping she can get back to her car and as far away from this place as possible.

“You know…” The guard sighs, beginning to escort her out towards her car. “I work with a lot of horrible bastards, Mr Kemp included.” She nods. “But your regular meetings really seem to be good for him.”

“What do you mean?” She frowns. He shrugs a little.

“I dunno. He’s just been smiling a lot more recently and seems more cheerful to everyone. He’s been talking about you a lot too.” Her blood chills. “Don’t worry! In a good way! Well, I guess as good as it can be coming from someone like him.” He chuckles lightly. “He tells everyone that you’re his friend, and god, some days he talks about you like you hung the moon. So, thanks for that, I guess. Or at least, just for making my job a little easier.” Despite how conflicted she feels about her feelings towards Steve, Y/N can’t stop a small smile appearing on her face at that point. It’s nice to be appreciated…she just wishes it was under better circumstances.

“You’re welcome.” She nods. Soon, they reach her car, and she gets in, waving goodbye to the guard as he starts walking back to the prison.

Once she’s sure he’s out of sight, Y/N lets out a frustrated cry of “DAMMIT!” slamming her hands against the steering wheel angrily. The tears break free before she can even stop them, and she clutches the steering wheel tightly as she sobs. Why couldn’t she just be attracted to literally anyone else? Why does Steve have to be so nice to her? Why does he have to be a serial killer and a cannibal and not a decent fucking human being that she could actually date without repercussions or judgement? Y/N sits alone for a while, letting all her tears out. She just wants everything: this case, her growing and conflicting feelings for Steve, and her anxieties to stop. She just wants to be normal.

Y/N looks up, staring at the prison. In all honesty, a part of her wishes she’d never even fucking come here in the first place.

Ever since she had her sex dream about Steve and realised that she would date him, Y/N’s subconscious seems to be deadset on refusing to let her forget it, despite how much she tries to. Both by having Steve’s words to her in the dream and in real life replay in her mind constantly, and making her have more dreams about him. Not all of the dreams are sexual, but worryingly, the sexual dreams are the ones that seem to be occurring more frequently. Even more worryingly, Y/N’s excitement about these dreams seems to amplify too, which also increases her thoughts about Steve. It also doesn’t help that Steve seems hell-bent on touching her every nerve and making her fall even harder for him. The other day, he called her a “good girl”, and she almost whimpered right in front of him. Thankfully, Steve didn’t seem to notice. Or at least, if he did, he didn’t say anything.

Y/N tries every tactic she can to cleanse her mind of Steve and her dreams about him, but none seem to work. Sighing, she leans back against her headboard. There’s only one other way she can think of to try and deal with these thoughts about Steve, and it’s the one she wanted to try the least. However, it has to be done. Rubbing some lube onto her fingers, Y/N gulps. It’s not so much trying to prevent the thoughts anymore…it’s more of an: ‘accept they’re probably there, act on them in private a few times, and then never speak of them again. Rinse and repeat until they’re gone’ type of solution. Y/N spreads her legs and moves her fingers towards her clit, beginning to masturbate. Steve’s face appears in her mind, grinning.

“Oh, you are a bad girl, aren’t you?” She can hear his voice smirk. “Look at you, the good little FBI Agent who’s too scared to admit she wants to fuck a serial killer like me.” She knows it’s just her imagination speaking to her and what Steve is saying isn’t real, but ‘his’ words only make her pleasure intensify as she continues to pleasure herself. She closes her eyes, still picturing Steve’s grinning face as she sinks deeper and deeper into her bedsheets. Or rather…falls deeper and deeper into Steve’s desires.

“Steve…Steve….” His name comes out in a whimper, and without her control. Although she’s unsure if she would’ve actually tried to stop it. The wetness between her thighs increases, and she can feel the orgasm beginning to build. And still, Steve’s voice is in her brain.

“Stop pretending you don’t like me or don’t want me. Stop acting like you haven’t noticed that I want you too.” Y/N lets out a moan at those words, one so loud that it takes her aback slightly. She has no idea whether or not this is her imagination or if it’s the feelings she’s tried so hard to bury bursting to the surface, finally free. However, she doesn’t have time to think too hard about that as the orgasm continues to build. She knows she’s close to finishing, and she needs just one little push to go. “You act all tough, but I know deep down…you’re just a filthy little whore. And I look forward to making you even worse.” Y/N curls her toes and screams Steve’s name as the orgasm and the feeling of ecstasy rocks her body as she finishes.

Afterwards, she lays there for a while, savouring the feel and the high of what just happened. That was the best orgasm she has had in a long time…and it was all thanks to Steve. It feels like a part of her has been awakened, a part that she used to keep buried. Having it finally released like this is surprising…and gratifying. And considering how happy she feels, Y/N realises she’s not sure if she wants to stop them anymore.

Soon, however, the high begins to fade, and Y/N comes crashing back down to earth. “Oh my god.” She pants. “What have I just done?” As the realisation begins to dawn, only one thought is on her mind: she really must be falling for Steve.

“Are you feeling better now?” Steve asks her the next time she sees him.

“Yes, thank you.” She lies, hoping he gives up and stops asking before he digs too deep or she’s forced to reveal the one thing about her that she doesn’t want anyone else to know. Instead, Steve doesn’t stop.

“I’m not sure. Something seems to be off with you recently. You seem out of it.” His blue eyes scan over her curiously, studying her body once more. Oh, if only he knew. Y/N can feel herself getting more nervous as Steve studies her…and she can also feel her body enjoying it too. Given the smile on Steve’s face, he’s clearly enjoying it as well. She gulps. God, please don’t let him find out how she feels about him, or have Steve actually like her. That cannot happen. Trying to ignore the pang in her heart at the thought of Steve not wanting her back, Y/N sighs frustratedly.

Suddenly, however, Steve stops looking over at her, frowning. He looks around the cell, deep in thought. It’s then that she realises that he’s sniffing the air…the air beside her. Y/N watches him do it, her panic slowly growing. “Something smells different. It smells…nice.” He murmurs. Her blood runs cold. He can’t know that she’s been masturbating over him, can he? Surely not. But then again, considering that Steve literally tasted people and sold them for a living…what if he can smell people that well? What if he can smell her cunt? Y/N’s heart almost stops.

Oddly enough, considering the kinds of killers that she’s been in the same room with…she swears that this is one of the times in her life that she’s felt the most scared. Strangely, however, part of her wants to laugh. Laugh at herself and how stupid she’s being. Because of course the fucking cannibalistic serial killer can smell that she wanked over him. And of course she’s worried that she might be falling for him. Steve turns to her, grinning. “It’s you! You do smell different, Y/N.” Y/N gulps. She wasn’t expecting to have to explain this to Steve at all, let alone right now.

“Um, I was-” She begins, her stomach churning more than ever.

“Yes….” Steve trails off, chuckling to himself. “You smell lovely, actually.” He pointedly bites his lip Y/N takes a breath, somewhat ready to try and explain what’s been going on. “Have you been using a new body wash or perfume?” Steve asks, and Y/N immediately breathes a sigh of relief.

“I have Steve. Thank you for noticing.” She lies, thanking whatever higher power there is that she doesn’t have to explain her weird dreams to him. However, she can see Steve staring at her weirdly, one of his brows raised as if he can sense that there’s something more to it. For a moment, Y/N wonders how Steve would react if he knew that she had a sex dream about him. Would he be honoured or find it as repulsive as she does? For some reason, a part of her hopes he would appreciate it.

“I see.” Steve responds. When he doesn’t say anything more, Y/N frowns. She’s so used to Steve having some kind of witty remark to everything he says that she’s grown to expect it.

“Is that it? You don’t have anything else to say to that?” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“Should I?”

“Well usually, you have some kind of response to everything I say. I was expecting you to say something about how I should keep focusing on the case or whatever you were explaining.” She points out. Almost immediately, she regrets what she said. Despite Steve telling her that she was free to speak her mind, she’s still worried about angering him. After all, it’s easy enough for a serial killer to say something is okay, and a whole other thing getting people to believe it. However, to her surprise, Steve chuckles…and she doesn’t detect any malice behind it.

“You do know a lot about me, don’t you?” He asks. “You’re right. I do usually have a witty remark to say. However, I care a lot about you Y/N, and I’ve grown very fond of you. So, when I notice that you’re not your usual self, or if you don’t feel well…it worries me.” He admits. Y/N gasps slightly, and her stomach twists. She wasn’t expecting him to say that. Of course, when she pretended to be sick, she received a letter from Steve, asking how she was. But she assumed it was simply done out of formality and politeness, or because he had been so used to seeing her that having some time without her would be weird. And Steve did tell her he’s proud of her a few days ago, but she just took it as a compliment despite how weird it felt. For some reason, she never once thought he might actually care about her. In a way, she never thought people like him did care about people.

Y/N’s head feels like it’s spinning, and she has no idea what to say in response. How could she be so stupid to not figure it out before? What else would Steve’s words to her mean? “After all…you are my partner, aren’t you? Of course I care about you.” Steve asks, stepping closer to her. So close that he almost reaches the line separating them from one another.

“Well, yes, you are.” Steve smiles.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“For our quid pro quo?” Y/N asks, her mind already racing with possibilities. Steve chuckles, shaking her head.

“No…just for me this time.” Frowning, Y/N nods.

“Are you still scared of me? Do you still see evil when you look at me?” Y/N represses a sigh. Of course he has to ask this now, after everything she’s going through. However, Y/N soon realises that for the first time…she doesn’t know how to answer that question. At least…not right away. Because of course she still thinks he’s evil. He’s a fucking serial killer and a cannibal. Either one of them on their own is bad enough, but them both together is a whole other nightmare. But Steve admitting that he cares about her has opened her up to many new conflicting feelings.

“...Yes, Steve. I’m still scared of you.” She answers, making him smirk. However, what he says next surprises her.

“Oh, are you?” He asks, cocking his head to the side once more. “Somehow…I doubt that.” Immediately, her blood runs cold again, and her heart skips a beat. Oh god. He knows. He knows what she’s been doing. He knows how she feels. Oh god, she’s fucked. He knows. Steve continues to grin at her, almost as if he’s relishing in the confusion and fear he’s causing.

“What are you talking about?” She asks. Steve doesn’t respond. Y/N can hear footsteps advancing down the hall, knowing they mean that their time together will be up in a matter of seconds. Still, she continues to stare at Steve, her mind and body racing, wondering what the hell he means if he’s noticed the one thing that she’s been trying to hide from him this whole time, silently begging for him to put her out of her misery.

The guard’s voice fills the room, announcing their time is up, and still, she continues to stare at Steve, waiting for a response to her question. The guard repeats his announcement, but she still holds her ground, waiting for an answer. She’ll stay all fucking night if she has to. “Steve. Answer my question.” She orders. Still no response. “Steve!” She repeats, her voice louder and more panicked. Still nothing.

“Agent Y/N, come on, it’s time for you to go.” The guard calls. Y/N stays where she is.

“Steve! Answer my question!” She demands, almost screaming at him.

Steve chuckles once more, grinning slightly. He leans in closer, so close that his body almost brushes hers. It sends another chill up her spine…as well as another burst of excitement. “You didn’t step back this time.” He whispers. She can hear the sound of the cord attaching him to the wall straining, knowing it means that he’s almost crossing the line between them, the line keeping her safe and the one she swore she’d never cross. Her eyes flicker down, and she realises Steve’s right. She’s right at the edge of the line. And yet, she still doesn’t step back. Not because she can’t…but because she’s not sure if she wants to anymore. Steve chuckles. “You’re so close to me. So close that I can whisper into your ear.” He watches as she breathes a small sigh of relief, yet still shudders slightly in fear. “So close that I can almost touch you…and I think we’d both like it if we did.”

After finishing her meeting with Steve, Y/N heads back to the office. Her boss called everyone for an important meeting about the case, and given that he called her to make sure she would be there, Y/N knows she can’t miss it…despite how much Steve’s words are still playing on her mind. “I think we’d both like it if we did.” He smirks. Despite Steve’s constant habit of annoying her, Y/N feels like he’s not pretending this time. And to her, there’s only one reason why that might be the case.

He must know how she’s been feeling about him and what she’s been doing. She’s so fucked. Maybe that’s what this meeting is about? Has Steve somehow already told her boss what he thinks she’s been up to, and she’s about to be taken off the case? Her stomach churns with anxiety, and she hopes that’s not what’s about to happen. And yet, for some reason…she seems more worried about losing her connection with Steve than she is about being taken off the case. God, what is wrong with her? She really needs to sort out her feelings once and for all.

Reaching the office, Y/N heads up to the room where the meeting is being held. As soon as she opens the door, the eyes of all her co-workers turn to see her. Immediately, Y/N starts wishing she was anywhere else. She heads to an empty seat near the front of the room, looking at her heels and trying to avoid all the stares and whispers directed her way. Taking a seat, her cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Where have you been? Visiting your friend?” The man beside her whispers, a slight smirk playing on his lips. Y/N knows they’re just trying to get to her, and she ignores him.

“He’s not my friend. It’s just a job.” She hears a scoff and the people around her muttering:

“Yeah, right.”

“Stuck up bitch.”

Y/N sighs, trying to ignore how upset their words make her and prevent the slowly building tears from falling down her cheeks. Memories flash through her mind again, memories she tried so hard to lock away and ignore…yet still somehow always manage to rear their ugly heads.

“Stupid bitch.”

“What makes you think you can work at the FBI?”

“I give it two days before she runs back home to Mommy and Daddy.” Y/N hisses under her breath, ducking her head so nobody sees her teary eyes. Even though she works with all sorts of monsters…Y/N swears that sometimes her co-workers can be just as cruel.

“You’re a smart woman, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t let you share your thoughts.” Suddenly, Steve’s words echo in her mind, cutting through all the voices of doubt. “I’m proud of you.” And despite how much she knows it might be wrong, she finds solace in his words. So much solace, in fact, that a smile crosses her features. And for just a moment, Y/N realises how fortunate she is to have a reassuring voice like Steve’s in her mind. Because after all, it’s nice to have someone appreciate you…even if that person has a huge body count like Steve’s. At least somebody is proud of her. Maybe she and Steve are closer to the label of friends than she thought they were.

Y/N sighs. God, it really shows how insane her life is when the only person outside of her work who has a high opinion of her and who might be her friend is a fucking cannibal. A cannibal she might be in love with. She really needs a fucking break. Thankfully, the voice of her boss soon sounds in the room, cutting through her thoughts and making everyone look up.

“Okay, hello, everyone! Thank you all for joining this meeting today.” The room fills with a chorus of greetings. “Now, I have an important announcement to make today. There will be a few changes around here, especially considering how we approach this case.�� Y/N frowns. What the hell does that mean? Then, she notices a man walking into the room, dressed in an impeccable navy blue suit. The man stands beside her boss and scans the room with a soft smile. Y/N’s eyebrow raises. He’s pretty cute. The man catches her eye, and her cheeks flush slightly. She averts her gaze, hoping she doesn’t embarrass herself too much. However, out of the corner of her eye, she swears she can see the man chuckling softly and smiling again.

“Thanks to the incredibly hard work of Y/N….” Her boss trails off, gesturing to her with a large grin. Y/N’s happiness stops, and her stomach drops. Her boss has just given her co-workers even more fuel to hate her. Sure enough, she can soon hear comments and laughter under people’s breaths. In an attempt to ignore them, she looks at the man standing beside her boss. To her surprise, he’s frowning, as if he hears their comments too. He also looks slightly concerned for her, making a small smile grow on her lips. Whoever this guy is, maybe she’ll finally have someone at work to fight in her corner. “...We have decided to start working through Steve Kemp’s list of clientele to see if any of them fit the profile. But since this list includes people worldwide, and therefore outside our jurisdiction, the CIA has graciously decided to assist us, and they have sent over their best Agent to help us.” The man beside her boss chuckles.

“Oh please, I doubt that’s true.” The man’s eyes go back to Y/N, and he gives her a small smile. One that makes her heart rate rise even more, and her smile grows bigger. Maybe his arrival is a sign of better things to come, and perhaps she doesn’t have to worry about Steve after all.

“He’ll be working with us for a few months, and he’ll especially be working closely with Y/N, using Kemp’s intel.” Y/N gives a small wave to identify herself to the Agent. He smiles, clearly happy to put a face to her name. “Oh! I almost forgot to introduce you!” Her boss chuckles. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Agent Nick Fowler.”

TAGLIST: @buckysboobs, @sebastianstansqueen, @lavendercitizen, @amanda-says, @enchantedbarnes, @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer, @kristophalis, babebr, @nerdypinupcrystal, @marve2014, @sgt-seabass, @themightyloki, @hallecarey1, @phoebethenarwhal, @lxdyred, @potato-with-hair, @chernayawidow, @gabewerk, @snugglingbucky, @late-to-the-party-81 If you want to be added, please let me know!

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mickey-henry · 3 years

Text

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky’s been flirting with you, but hasn’t taken it further than that. frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: occasional swearing (but not much) and frustrating flirting (I’d be melting if it was happening to me). besides that, this fic is pure fluffy fun.

author’s note: hello there! this is my second fic; I’m very excited to post it! I found the header image here, and if you want to listen to the song I reference in this fic, you can listen here. bold text indicates singing, while italicized text refers to inner thoughts. likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! I hope you like it! 💖

Bucky Barnes is an acquaintance at best. The two of you rarely work together, and with conflicting schedules, you see little of each other around the compound. On a random Friday in April, however, something changes in you. The moment is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re sitting on the couch in the main living space, re-reading one of your favorite books. Bucky has just returned from a mission; you glance up to see his exhausted expression. He catches your eye, winking with a smile, before walking to his room. Your heart flutters and your head freezes at the response. “Oh, no,” you think to yourself. “Maybe that was a one-time thing? I don’t actually like him, right?” Wrong.

Ever since that night, the mere presence of Bucky Barnes drives you crazy: his stunning blue eyes that squint ever so slightly when he smiles, his adorable nose that crinkles when he laughs, his pillowy lips that you lose yourself in, his fluffy hair you can’t help but imagine running your fingers through, his scruff speckled jawline that you wish would brush along your hands, cheeks, anywhere really. He occupies your dreams; you can’t escape this man even if you try. Today, he drives you crazier than usual. He stands in the compound's kitchen in a tight black t-shirt, one that leaves nothing to the imagination. This is the first time you’ve seen him in short sleeves, in anything other than tactical gear. You can’t help but stare as he prepares his lunch. The shirt hugs his frame tight, accentuating his biceps that had no right to be that big. “Gosh, he must spend hours in the gym to look like that.” You then notice the vein in his right arm protruding from his skin, tracing it with your eyes. You didn’t think he could become any more beautiful, but here he is before you, incredible as ever.

You’re pulled from your reverie when Bucky calls your name. “Yeah?” you reply, barely masking the startled stutter in your voice.

“Pass me the salt?”

“Oh! Sure, of course,” you muster, taking a sip of water from the glass in front of you as you hand him the salt shaker.

“Thanks, doll,” he flirts with a smile, the same one he gave you that night when he got back to the compound. You nearly choke. “Bucky Barnes called me a term of endearment?!? Holy shit.” Your heart swells and you look down at your glass in a desperate attempt to hide the blush creeping its way across your cheeks. “Goodness gracious, I respond this way from a simple word?” You couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if he touched you.

It didn’t take long to find out. The following day, you stand in the kitchen prepping your lunch, singing softly along to the song playing from your phone. Bucky appears soon after. He stands close to you for a moment, closer than necessary, but of course you don’t mind. He has just showered; his cologne lingers in the air, intoxicating you. Somehow, you keep singing along, showing no sign that your mind is elsewhere.

“Ugh, he smells amazing. This man has too much power over me; this is ridiculous! I don’t even remember what I was doing—”

“You have a beautiful voice,” he compliments.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you softly reply, your heart racing at his praise.

“Let me get by you real fast, doll,” he says, moving to walk behind you.

“There he goes again with the pet name. My god, could this get any worse—”

He places his hands gently on your hips as he moves beside you. Electricity travels through your whole body; you’re internally screaming at his touch. His hands feel better than you imagined. Even though the contact lasts only a moment, the effects of his touch linger after, leaving you speechless.

You hear a musical chuckle from the man behind you. “Is he teasing me? It sure feels like it,” you wonder. There is no way that he can’t see the effect he has on you. Before you can even formulate another thought, he touches you again as he moves back to the other side of you. “That was definitely on purpose; certainly he wouldn’t do this by accident. Right?”

Your eyes linger as he finishes putting together his lunch. He catches your gaze and smiles. “See you later, sweetheart,” he says with a wink before leaving the room. “Okay, that answers my question; that was very intentional. What am I going to do with myself?”

You don’t know how much longer you can take his teasing. Throughout the week, he ups his antics, calling you pet names more than your own, stealing touches whenever he can get away with it, smiling whenever you make eye contact. The tension is insatiable; thoughts of Bucky follow you everywhere. You decide to take matters in your own hands; Bucky did not seem to be planning to make a move anytime soon. If he is going to tease the hell out of you, you might as well get some payback.

───────────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Tony’s announcement of Friday night karaoke gives you a wicked idea. However, for it to work, you need to recruit help. You know just who to ask. It doesn’t take long to find Sam and Steve; they spent a ton of their free time sparring in the gym. They seem to be at the end of their workout, their movements slow and sloppy, relying on witty retorts to throw off the other. They stop when they notice your arrival.

“Hey!” Sam says with a smile, hugging you as you approach. You squeeze him tightly, even with his sticky sweat coating his arms. You greet Steve with a hug too.

“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Steve asks as you let go.

“Can I ask you guys something? And you promise you two won’t laugh at me? Especially if I'm reading this wrong?”

“Of course,” answers Steve.

“Yeah, for sure,” replies Sam.

You hesitate for a second, taking a deep breath. “Does Bucky like me? I swear he does. He keeps teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I am practically in love with the guy at this point, he’s so beautiful and—”

You stop as the boys exchange glances and begin laughing.

You cross your arms, hurt. “You said you wouldn’t laugh at me! I can’t control how I feel.”

“No! Wait! We aren’t laughing at you!” Steve says between giggles.

You furrow your brows. “Then why are you laughing?”

“Bucky’s obsessed with you,” Steve answers after calming his laughter.

“God, yes, you’re all he talks about nowadays,” Sam adds.

“What?! He does? Why? Are you shitting me right now? Because that would be really freaking mean—“

“No! Of course not,” Steve insists. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”

“And the pet names he gives you?” Sam adds.

“And how he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself lately?” Steve finishes.

Now you feel stupid for even asking. Of course you noticed all of those things. They were all you ever thought about. “Well, yeah, but maybe he does that with all the girls.”

“What girls?” Sam retorted. “The only women who are here often enough to cross paths with him are you, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda’s with Vision, as weird as that is, but love is love. Natasha shoots daggers at anyone who looks at her with love in their eyes. That leaves you.”

“Why in the world would he like me? Of all people? He’s out of my league,” you sigh,

Sam’s scoff pulls you from your thoughts. “Bucky? Out of your league? He’s a crazy ex-assassin with emotional issues! If anything, he's out of your league.”

“You’re a catch, why wouldn’t he like you?” Steve assures.

Steve and Sam always know just what to say to make you feel better. “I guess you’re right,” you admit with a defeated grin.

“So, you know how Bucky feels. What are you going to do about it?” Steve asks.

“I have an idea, but I need your help.”

“We’re listening.”

You divulge your plan to them. They smile, hyping you up.

“Dude, I’m so down!” Sam exclaims, clapping his hands in excitement.

“You think this will work?”

“Definitely,” Steve assures. “This is going to be amazing!”

“Okay then, we’re doing this. Let’s go find Bucky. Time to initiate phase one.”

───────────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky is sitting on the common room couch, flipping through a book when he sees you, Sam, and Steve enter. He exchanges a glance with you, smiling as your eyes light up. The three of you sit down. You’re sitting next to Sam, closer than usual. There’s a brief moment of silence before you speak. “Sam, are you going to karaoke night?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss everyone’s drunk-ass singing for the world.”

“Will you be my duet partner?”

This catches Bucky’s attention. He looks up from his book. Why the hell were you asking Sam to sing with you? You normally ask the girls...

“Sure thing, baby. It’ll be a ton of fun!” Sam smiles.

Baby?! What?! How dare he call you a pet name, his girl, right in front of him? Well, you may not be his girl yet, but Sam knows how he feels about you. What the hell is he thinking?

“Yay! This’ll be so fun!” You hug him, grabbing his hand before continuing, “Wanna practice with me in a bit?”

“Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart,” Sam answers, kissing your knuckle before letting go of your hand.

Sweetheart?! What the fuck was going on? Did he miss his shot? Would Sam really do that to him? Bucky can barely handle his swirling thoughts. He storms out of the room without looking back.

Steve can’t help but laugh once Bucky is out of earshot. “That worked a little too well, wouldn’t you say so?”

“That wasn’t too far, was it?” you ask with a worried expression on your face.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. He’ll just come on even stronger now. He won’t give up on you that easily,” Sam assures you.

───────────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky can barely contain his anger as you step on the stage with Sam, giggling and smiling at your karaoke partner. Jealousy engulfs him. He can barely listen to the start of the song, ignoring the catchy beat blasting through the speakers. He doesn’t recognize the song, but looks up from his drink when you sing, “Hey Bucky boy, what you doing tonight? I wanna see what you got in store."

He looks right at you. Did she just say Bucky?

Sam echoes, “Hey, hey Bucky!” Well, that answers his question.

“You're giving it your all when you're dancing on me. I want to see if you can give me some more,” you continue, twirling your fingers through your hair.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“You can be my man, I can be your girl, and we can pump this jam however you want,” you sing, swaying your hips to the cadence of the lyrics.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“Pump it from the side, pump it upside down, or we can pump it from the back and the front,” you wink as you finish the line. Bucky sits up suddenly, crossing his legs, his face turning beet red. You smile, knowing the plan was working. Steve laughs from beside him. He keeps his eyes glued on you as the two of you continue the song, utterly entranced. You look him right in the eye as you end the song, “I want you tonight.”

You saunter over to where he is sitting after high-fiving Sam, confidence filling your chest. “So, what did you think of my performance, Bucky?”

You yelp as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to sit on his lap. His voice deepens, “you’re such a tease, you know that right?”

You laugh. “I’m the tease? Really? You’re the one who just pulled me onto your lap and taunts me with flirtatious remarks and smiles all freaking day. My god Bucky, make a move already—”

He cuts you off, pulling you in for a kiss, his flesh arm grabbing the back of your neck. The team whoops and cheers.

“Glad you finally made a move, Bucky,” you pant as your lips part from his.

“Best decision I ever made in my life, doll.” Before you can respond, he kisses you again, the karaoke bar fading in the background as you finally embrace the man of your dreams.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #mickey-henry #bucky barnes fic #my fic: hey bucky #mel's writing

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crimefightingspiderguy · 3 years

Text

to be so lonely

Summary: “Hi could you do angst spider man x female reader but with fluffy ending please and thank you.” (REQUESTED BY @icequeen2021)

Warnings: Torture is mentioned and injuries do occur. Spoilers for Spider-Man: Far From Home and Avengers: Infinity War & Endgame.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word count: 4,494

A/N: Just as a precaution, I did not proofread this because its almost 4 a.m. here and I really just wanted to get this out to you guys! I hope the requester and everyone else enjoys this, I had a lot of fun writing it. I also wanted to note that this occurs post Spider-Man: Far From Home so since I don't really know who took charge of the Avengers after Tony and Steve's deaths, I just assumed it was Sam/Falcon/Captain America for the purpose of this fic. Lastly, I'm aware that mutants have yet to be introduced into the MCU, but my guess is that they are going to claim Monica (and now Wanda) from WandaVision as mutants, so I'm running with it in this fic.

“Hello?” Peter’s groggy voice came through the darkness. You stood in the doorway, light now beaming into the room, waking Peter.

“Oh, thank goodness. I had… a bad dream. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You were one of the newest Avengers and when Peter Parker’s identity was revealed to the world, Sam told you to help him go into hiding, at least until they were sure it was safe for him to stay at the Avengers compound. You were (as you put it) cursed with the ability to see the future. After Hydra had gotten found out about the time stone, they sent you in as a spy to try to find out more about it. You studied under Dr. Strange for a couple of months before he even let you see it. One night, he let you even practice with it. Unfortunately, your genes were predisposed to be mutated, all they needed was the right amount of radiation to kick start them. To touch the stone, was to mutate your genes, triggering your curse. Your new mutation was being able to see into the future. Dr. Strange ended up finding out that Hydra sent you and realizing that they would only turn you into a weapon, he helped you fake your death and sent you to the Avengers, changing your identity and living under the radar. Your mutation was the perfect thing to help Peter while on the run, since you would constantly be one step ahead of your enemies. Peter had the ability to sense danger coming his way, so he thought he would be fine on his own, but you could see farther out into the future and see multiple paths that could occur based on one small choice, so Sam wouldn’t even listen to any of Peter’s protests to having you come along. It’s not that he didn’t want you to come along, because you two were friends, but he didn’t want to put you in extra danger of being seen by Hydra or getting hurt because of him.

“A bad dream or a glimpse into the future?” Peter asked, alert now.

“A bad dream… I think. Let me look again.” You tried to focus on your current path. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But there it was, a small branch that when followed lead to the dream you had. The only choice that had to be made was you turning on the lights to check on Peter, tipping someone watching you off that you were in fact staying here. You quickly opened your eyes and ran out to the living room. You shut off all the lights throughout the whole empty apartment you were “staying” in. You had been moving from place to place so when you found an apartment that was prepped for open house showings, the two of you decided to hang out there until you saw a showing being held and then you would tidy stuff up and ditch the place. Unfortunately, it appeared in this distant future, whoever was following the two of you got a tip that an empty apartment was all the sudden getting activity regularly.

You went back into the room Peter had taken, “Get in the closet, now.” Peter rushed out of the bed and did as he was told. You got into the closet next to him and pulled the door shut. You glimpsed into the future and quickly saw that the person was on their way, they would be there in minutes and one of the places they would in fact check was the closet. Just then, Peter’s skin lit up in goosebumps and you knew it was too late to move him.

“Can you tell who…” Peter began to whisper, but you quickly put a hand over his mouth, seeing they were about to walk into the front door. Luckily, you had locked it, so they would have to take a minute to pick the lock, so they don’t draw suspicion with a loud bang of breaking the door down.

“I’m going to do something; you have to just trust me. Whatever happens, whatever you hear me say, don’t leave the closet. You understand?” you spoke out low and fast.

“But…”

“Do you understand?” You looked him dead in the eyes, time was ticking.

He nodded. You grabbed one of his extra web shooters from his bag in on the closet floor. You slowly pulled the closet door open and shut behind you, taking one more look at Peter, putting your finger over your mouth as a reminder for him to stay silent. You moved over to the bed Peter was moments ago sleeping soundly on, leaned over to the window above it and opened it wide. You stood on the bed, positioning your body to make it look like you were trying to escape out the window. You stood in your position and waited, silently shooting a web out the window to the building across the street and tossed the shooter underneath the bed. You heard the door finally unlock and slowly creak open. They were most likely assuming the two of you were asleep and had no inclination he was there. After seeing no signs of life in the living room, he began heading for the bathroom. Looking into the future to see if your plan would work, you saw a small issue. If he took his time searching through each room, Peter would eventually sneeze and expose himself. You needed to get the guy out of there now. You looked over to the lamp on the side table on the right of the bed. You kicked it as hard as you could, causing the bulb to shatter on the hard-wood floor as it landed. You cussed in a loud enough to hear whisper and positioned yourself back half-way out the window. The man was now bursting through the bedroom door, first looking to the lamp that caused the sound, then to the person who was clearly trying to escape him.

“Shit Peter, go, go, go! Get out of here!” You shout out to a non-existent Peter outside of the building. “I’ll be fine, go now!” You put on the most panicked look you could while you whipped your head back to the man who was just now putting two and two together. He ran over to the window, yanked you off the ledge and looked outside. He saw the web hanging from the other building across the street, blowing silently in the wind, the web-shooter himself nowhere to be seen. The man’s grip on your arms painfully increased, making it easy for you to keep the pain-filled, scared look on your face.

“That was a very stupid move missy. I’m sure if you’re important enough for him to take on the run, he won’t be leaving you behind for long.” He turned out the window and yelled, “You hear that Spidey? You want the girl, you’ve gotta come and get her.” While his head was turned from you, you looked into the closet just barely able to see Peter’s eyes from the moonlight shining in and across the shutters of the closet. You shook your head slightly as you saw in the near future Peter putting his hand on the door and opening it to come save you.

“He’s not coming back; you might as well save your breath.” You said to the man as he brought his head back inside.

“Why wouldn’t he come back for you? Isn’t that his whole shtick? Saver of the defenseless?”

“Because I told him not to come back. I told him to not look back, so he won’t.”

“What makes you so sure he’ll do what you say?”

“Because if he truly loves me, he won’t come back.” You knew that no one knew of your relationship status with Peter, especially considering no one even knew you were an Avenger. So even though you were not dating Peter, they didn’t know otherwise, and you were going to use that to your advantage.

“Ahhh, so you’re his little girlfriend. That’s why you’re with him. We was starting to think you was an Avenger. We’ll this is even better because I’m sure some torture will get you talking. We won’t even need him to come find us, because you’ll lead us right to him.”

“I’d rather die.” You spat in his face.

“Oh, don’t worry, you will. But not until we find our spidey.” He smiled a nasty smile and yanked your arm out of the socket as if it was nothing, and you gave a choked-out scream.

He tossed you over his shoulder and walked out of the apartment. You couldn’t see into the closet anymore, but you could see into the future and Peter was in absolute shock, but he did as you asked and stayed put until the next morning, when he could be sure the apartment would no longer be watched.

At some point you had been knocked unconscious, or maybe you were drugged? It was hard to tell with the throbbing in your head making your memory foggy. You woke up to realize you were tied up to a chair, in a dark and empty room. You blinked rapidly trying to clear your hazed mind, and when it began to work, you looked into the future to see what was coming. You had three paths, all waiting on someone to make the next move. One path was the man from before coming in with a crowbar and breaking your bones with it, one by one, until you told him what he wanted, which you never did, resulting in you dying of internal bleeding. You shuddered at the thought, hoping your other paths would be better. The second was Peter tracking you down and coming to save you. This led to the death of both you and Peter. Your heart began to race, the image of Peter’s cold and unmoving body lying on the ground in an unnatural twist was harder to look at than the image of you weeping over him, only to meet the same fate. The third and final path was you getting out of the ropes and being able to fight your way out of the place. This third path had an uncertain ending, because while you would be able to get out of the chair, it wasn’t clear if you’d be able to fight off all of the people standing around outside of the room you were held in.

You quickly thought through all of the moves that Bucky had taught you from his years as a killing machine. There were a few that you could pull of successfully on Bucky himself, leaving you some hope that you would be able to fight them off, but looking at the sheer number of people outside that would run to attack, it’s hard to imagine they wouldn’t be ganging up on you causing a more powerful attack than even Bucky could prepare you for. You looked around the room for an escape, literally anything. You saw it in the corner to the left of you. The way out. You looked into the future after deciding that was how you would escape, and surprisingly the outcome was clear and successful. You quickly kicked off your shoe and rolled off your sock on the floor. Taking your now free toes, you stuck them into your shoe and slid the folded pocket knife you hid in the too big for you shoes in-between your big toe and second one. You pulled it out, holding onto it for dear life with your foot. You put your leg to the side of the chair, pulling your foot up into the air and back towards your hands as much as you could with the ropes constraining you. You were just able to grab the edge of the folded over knife and once you had a grip, flipped it open and began sawing away at the ropes. You saw that the men outside were unmoving and weren’t planning on interrogating you for at least another hour. The sun was setting, and they were hoping that Peter would show up in the dark to try and save you. When they were to realize that he in fact was not showing up, they would barge in and pounce on you. However, Peter not showing up depended on you getting out of the building. You saw that he was nearby in the future where he tried to save you. He was only going to save you if he sensed you needed to be saved. If you could get out of this room, you wouldn’t set off his Spidey-sense, and he would be safe, you would both be safe.

Once the ropes fell to the ground, you were able to cut your torso free and stand to run to the corner that held a vent big enough to crawl through. Cutting off the long sleeve of your shirt at the shoulder, you made a sloppy sling for your dislocated left arm. Crawling wouldn’t be a cake walk with only one arm, but you had to make do. You quickly screwed open the gate with your knife and silently pushed it to the ground and begun to crawl on your hand and knees through the ventilation system. You looked forward in time to see where this would lead you and how quickly. The sun was setting faster than normal it felt, as the dark approached, so did a twisted fate if you couldn’t get out fast. You had lucked out this time, and you actually couldn’t believe what you were seeing. About 10 feet ahead of you, the vent led out to the back of the building. They were keeping you in a room used to store things at cool temperatures and the air vent was used to release hot air in the summer and suck in cold air in the winter. You began crawling as fast as you could muster without making too much sound.

When at the end, you looked with your mind to see if danger lurked in the shadows outside the vent, but no one was near. The vent led to the back of the building where there were no other doors or windows, no way for Peter to get in and find you. Or so they thought. You slipped your hand through the slits in the grate to work at the screws on the outside. You could feel the cold rusty metal slicing your hand open, but you could care less right now as turning back would result in a lot worse than a few infected cuts. After about 5 minutes of awkwardly poking, prodding and twisting at the screws, you were able to kick open the grate. You slid outside and stood up, quickly making your way to the tree line. Peter was nearby, you saw his location before, but it was hard to distinguish it in the vast forest surrounding the building.

Looking around, seeing there was no one in sight you quickly let out a whisper of his name, “Peter.” You hoped it would be enough to catch his attention if he was within his hearing range. You waited a moment but saw nothing. You moved forward a few feet, hoping he was maybe just farther into the forest, “Peter.” You repeated. This time you saw something, not in real time, but seconds before it happened. Him whipping his head around, hearing your footsteps, your breathing, your heartbeat, the soft whisper of his name leaving your mouth. Him swinging tree to tree to get to you as quickly and as quietly as he could manage. As if he was delayed compared to the image in your mind, he landed softly next to you moments after you saw him do it in your mind.

“You’re okay.” He whispered, pulling you into a hug, trying to mind your slung arm.

“For now. But we’ve got to go. There is still a 50/50 chance they’re going to catch us when they realize in about 2 minutes that I’ve escaped.

“Well then you better hold on tight.” He lifted you up with ease and rested you on his hip, making you look like an awkwardly large toddler in his arms. He kept one arm around you as you wrapped your legs and good arm around him. He was off in seconds, swinging the two of you from tree to tree and once out of the forest, building to building.

Once you were at a safe enough distance, Peter stopped on an apartment rooftop and took the two of you under the cover of a tarp covering up empty wooden crates from any bad weather.

“We need to get you back to the compound. Have Bruce heal you up.” He said gingerly touching your shoulder.

“We can’t go back, you know that. We haven’t gotten word from anyone yet that the coast is clear, and it’s obvious that you’re still on plenty of people’s hit list. I can fix it, just give me a second.” You looked around the roof to see if there was anything you could jam your arm into to try and pop it back into place. Behind where you were hiding was a door leading down into the apartments. You stood up and headed over to it. Peter followed you, watching and listening to the surroundings for anything suspicious. You pulled the sling off your neck slowly and balled it up. You stuffed it in your mouth, causing Peter to give you a confused look,

“What are you doing?”

You answered him by slamming your arm into the wall, popping it back into place, letting out a now muffled scream into your shirt sleeve. Tears welled up in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away with the cloth you pulled out of your mouth. You took a deep breath in and out, trying to calm yourself.

“There. All better.” You opened your eyes and gave Peter a weak smile as he stood, mouth open and face pale.

“Holy shit.” He whispered.

“Close your mouth honey, you’ll catch flies.” You push his bottom jaw up and head over to the edge of the rooftop. You looked down to see there was a fire escape a few feet below you. Looking ahead of your time, you saw the possibilities of entering each window attached to the escape. Only one of them would lead you to an empty apartment. The owners gone for the whole week. They will have a first aid kit waiting for you to tend to your hand with.

“Peter, can you lower us down to that escape?” You called over to him softly. He joined you at the ledge and nodded when he saw what you were referring to. You held onto his side again as he climbed with his sticky hands and feet down the wall and onto the escape. You grabbed his hand and led him down to the window of the currently empty apartment. You carefully slid the window open and snuck in, Peter silently following behind you.

“The owners won’t be back for a week. As long as we leave the place as we found it, they won’t be any the wiser that we were here.” You whispered to him as he shut the window. “I’m going to go find their first aid kit and get some antibiotics on my hand” You held out your gashed up hand to show him and you saw him wince at the sight of it. He was surprisingly sensitive to seeing your injuries. You figured at this point all of the Avengers were desensitized to stuff like this.

It was just months ago you all were fighting off the mad titan Thanos, you expected nothing to shock anyone at this point. It was strange getting blipped away. One second you were standing next to Dr. Strange watching him give over the time stone, the next you simply weren’t there. You couldn’t see it coming. This was the only thing you couldn’t see coming, because it was too random. You had too high of a chance of not getting blipped, just as you had too high of a chance of getting blipped, so you couldn’t have known. It was horrifying and the bases for most of your nightmares nowadays. You and Peter were the same age, which is why you think Dr. Strange took pity on you regardless of you being a Hydra spy. They had taken you against your will and forced you to serve them. Kids tended to be the best type of spy because it was harder to be suspicious of them. But because you were the same age, when you both came back, the two of you had sort of relied on each other to help one another adjust to the new lives you had to accept. The world had moved on without the two of you, while the two of you were stuck in the same spot for years. It was nice having someone who understood, especially someone your age. That’s why you were okay with risking your own life to help Peter run away. Because that’s what the two of you have silently agreed to do for months now. Protect each other, have each other’s backs, help each other through the nightmares, through the adjustments, through the pain.

Opening the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, you saw the tube of antibiotic cream. You grabbed in and closed the small door, jumping when you saw Peter standing in the mirror behind you.

“I thought you would’ve seen me coming.” he chuckled.

“I was distracted. Thinking about…” You trailed off, suddenly becoming more interesting in washing your hands to prep them for the medicine.

“The blip?” He finished for you. You didn’t even have to answer, you silence spoke for you.

“If it never happened, I wonder if we would be here right now.” You couldn’t help but grasp at lost futures that you couldn’t see.

“Maybe. I mean, Mysterio is the real reason we’re here and I feel like he would’ve come around eventually.”

“But I wouldn’t be here.” You pointed out.

“Do you regret coming with me then?” Peter asked, looking away from you now, hurt evident on his face. “Because you can leave for the compound at any time, I won’t stop you if it’s what you want.”

“No.” The word came out without hesitation, and it caused Peter to snap his attention back to you in the mirror where you finally met his eyes. “I just mean that we probably wouldn’t have gotten as close as we had. I mean yeah, we’d both be Avengers and would know each other, but I would’ve stayed locked away in the compound, and you would’ve barely given me a second thought. I wouldn’t be here because you wouldn’t have trusted me enough to let me come along. I wouldn’t be here because even if you would have trusted me to come with you, I would’ve still gotten kidnapped and I wouldn’t have been able to get out of there without getting caught because you probably wouldn’t have come back for me. I might not have been able to see those futures, but after you watch as much of the future as I have, you start to put the pieces together that one small change would’ve been catastrophic.”

“I like to think that whatever we chose, if it wasn’t a conscious choice or something out of our control, it was fate.” Peter said, “We might not have made the same choices to get us to this exact scenario, if the blip hadn’t happened, but Sam probably would’ve still ordered you by my side, regardless of my hesitation. I probably would’ve not let you get taken in the first place because I wouldn’t have trusted your judgement as much when it came to taking on that guy. We were meant to go through this together and I would’ve stuck by your side same as now.”

You chuckle at the last part about taking on the guy, you wanted to change the subject. The idea of you not getting to where you were friendship wise with Peter was a painful thought. You loved him. It was hard not to. The idea of a timeline where you didn’t love him was hard to even think about.

“I could’ve taken him on if I wanted to.” A smug smirk played on your lips

“Oh, I know you could, that’s why I was so surprised when you just let him take you. Why did you?”

You turned around to face him, “Because I was trying to get him away from you.”

“You could’ve died, you know that, right?” Peter says, taking the medicine from you and applying it to a clean cotton pad from the first aid kit, rubbing it over your hand. The images of you and Peter dead on the ground of that building flash through your mind.

“I know. But so could you have. I’d rather die and give you a head start than for you to die.”

“Why? My life isn’t worth risking yours for.”

“Because if I don’t have you… I have no one.” You admitted.

“Well, that’s not true. You have the whole team.” Peter tried to reassure you.

You shook your head, a sad smile on your mouth as you spoke, “I’m not close to them like I am you. Will you guys be sad? I’d like to think so. Will it greatly alter your lives if I was gone? No. After a couple of weeks, maybe even months, everyone would move on, including you. But if you were to die, I’d have no other friends who could bring me back to caring enough to go on. I have no family. I just have you. I’d rather die myself and know that eventually you’d be able to go on with your life, than let you die knowing that if I had just looked at a different future, I might’ve saved you. Knowing that I’ll never have anyone like you again in my life.”

“If you died, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” Peter said, a stress crease forming between his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t be able to move on because I never got to tell you that I love you.” The last part came out as a whisper as his hands set down the medicine and cotton pad. Bringing them to hold your cheeks.

You hesitantly brought your hands up to ghost over his. You might be able to see the future, but you didn’t see his confession coming. Turning your head slightly to kiss his palm, you whispered on his soft skin, “Then you understand.”

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cabin-fever-bang · 4 years

Text

Campfire Stories (Vol. 1)

Welcome to the Cabin! We proudly present the first edition of Campfire Stories: your one-stop shop for quality quarantine content.

We’re going to do these regularly, with in-depth reviews of everything that’s been submitted as a prompt fill and additional recommendations from the masterlists of writers who get involved.

If you’d like to be one of those writers, just follow us, comb through our prompts, and be sure to tag us when you post! It’s that easy. We welcome all fandoms and pairings.

This batch of reviews was cooked up by @thoughtslikeaminefield (MJ), @there-must-be-a-lock (Lou), @itmighthavebeenintentional (Val), @fangirlxwritesx67 (Viv), @cracksinthewalls (Bri), and @mskathywriteswords (Kathy), but we encourage you to pass along the random acts of writer-love and reblog with your own additions!

Pull up a seat, toast a marshmallow or two, and settle in for some excellent reading material.

Choices We Make - @becs-bunker - GIF prompt submitted by @dawnie1988

Pairing: Demon Dean x Female Reader

Warnings: angst, brief threat & violence, smut, language, dub con-ish, unprotected sex, orgasm denial

Words: 1374

Everyone loves a Demon!Dean fic, and this is a good one! Lots of action, lots of angst, and some really hot, awful Dean.

Honestly it all felt like some surreal nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. You just wanted Dean back, your Dean.

These lines summarize both the Demon!Dean story arc and the narrator's frame of mind so well, pulling the reader right into the perspective of the story.

“I missed you, y’know?” Dean sighed, and the naive part of you wished he was telling the truth. That somehow, deep down, he still loved you.

This is heartbreaking because it's relatable, because the author does such a good job with the narrator's voice.

Dean licked his lips and there was a familiar hunger in his green eyes that made a whole different sensation rise in your body, and it wasn’t fear.

I'm not going to quote any more lines from the story because the author has written one hell of a twist, but trust me when I said, I gasped out loud reading it. The rest of this story is an absolute roller coaster, well worth the ride.

- Viv

Come For Me - @fangirlxwritesx67 - image prompts created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy

Pairing: Sam Winchester x female reader

Warnings: smut, canon level violence, fingering, first time together

Words: 3100

First, let’s talk about this aesthetic. It’s soft and beautiful, but stark and needy. I love the quotes and photos, the way they flow together. Fantastic visual prompt. "Sam Winchester?” He spoke in a theatrical, mocking tone. “Ooooh, I’m frightened." This line made me chuckle. I love the idea of what’s ahead of us. The bad guy is built up in a hilarious way. Sam is presented through the heart and mind of the narrator, you. But thinking of Sam suffused you with a warm confidence. Not for one moment did you doubt him. This confidence is contagious and warming. Meanwhile, the anxiety over the vampire lurking somewhere else, waiting to taste you… it builds in a beautiful and believable way. There’s a rush of emotions as Sam rescues you, and he’s patient and kind, even while making jokes and being the Sam you know and love. Things progress, and there’s a beautiful and sweet (okay, and hot!) sex scene, with a first time between Sam and you. All in all, a really solid piece, with some story, some tension, some sex, and a whole lot of sweetness.

- Kathy

A New Day - @becs-bunker - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: fluff

I’ve not reviewed an image prompt before, so let’s just jump in. The first word that jumps to my mind is light, but I love how suffused and golden the whole image is. Softer, safer, intimate. There are little pinpoints of light, rays of light, shining light, and the whole thing makes me feel...well...light. Sunrise and candlelight, new day, new beginnings.

The images chosen for Sam, the angles and features we get, are such close, personal angles and shots, giving us this tender atmosphere and setting the tone for this story: personal. Everything you're about to read is intimate, personal, and private, in such a lovely, delicate way.

The curtains in that first shot are so filmy and ethereal, and the whole story feels like it’s set in a kind of golden-hazed forest. And, let’s face it, any sort of vacation for a Winchester is a kind of fairy tale.

I’ve managed to stay pretty much above the brow, so Imma have to dip down for a minute and just drool over Sam’s trapezius muscles. Oh. MY. GAWD.

Golden, glorious, graceful, and just a touch of gooey. Good, good, good.

So, right off the bat, let me tell you that this story is everything I’ve ever wanted for Sam, like everything the show and Chuck and the universe has ever denied him. He’s rested, he’s comforted, he’s bathed in glow (the sun, the reader’s love, all that jazz, you know?).

And then it goes and hits all my camping weaknesses. I was literally just telling someone how I’m missing my camp more than ever now. It’s been eight years since I’ve been, and this story brings back all those feelings of serenity and calm, voluntary isolation with people you more or less chose, because camp was and is my forever real home.

I know that seems a little rambly and off-topic, but the thing is, that’s what this story is for me. They aren’t at the bunker, their “home,” but they’re still home all the same, because (and, yes, you can shoot me for this) home is where your heart is, so this wonderful little cabin in the woods is home, whether they’ve been there together once or a hundred times because Sam.

And then that bit of sugar tossed in at the end...Oh, this story was good for my soul. “Warm mug of coffee on a chill morning, under a blanket” kind of good for my soul.

It’s one of those where I would love to have so much more of these two, of this warmth between them, but I also am perfectly content to know them just in this one perfect moment forever, before the day starts, when everything is still in the “it’s about to happen and it will be great” stages. The beginning of a great new day.

Thank you. I needed this story, now more than ever.

- Val

Crash - @myinconnelly1 - requested by @adoptdontshoppets for @idreamofplaid aesthetic

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: smut, fluff

Words: 810

The first thing that draws my eye in the aesthetic is the linked fingers. I love pinky links (I’m sure there’s a less cutesy way to say it, but I like it; sue me). They’re sweet, and really personal. You’ve got super tough Dean Winchester who isn’t embarrassed or afraid of intimate, goofy gestures. In fact, I feel like that would one hundred percent be Dean in a relationship: Dean is a giant ball of goofy, intimate gestures.

I love the choices of relaxed, bearded Dean/Jensen paired with the casual, cool color palette immediately set me at ease. This isn’t going to be a terrifying, angsty ordeal. This is going to be calm, soothing, sensual.

And the roses, the sand, the surf, the candlelight, the pokey palm tree fronds...I can hear, smell, feel every bit of these images. The golden-pink wine...ugh. This whole experience is a trip to paradise.

I love how all five senses are emphasized and made equally important. It gives us so much more connection to the moment, makes it that much more intimate. The constant crashing of the waves in the background; the bittersweet chocolate; the cozy, homey image of the baking-wrecked kitchen followed by the much more erotic, candelit bedroom; and then the scent of the oil mixed with the warmth and strength of Dean’s touch.

I also love the level of comfort in the story. We have the cookies, a hard-core comfort staple. We have the warm, lazy beach setting. And the easiness these two have together: that’s the dream, my friend. I love how they have no trouble at all communicating what they want and need, how they are comfortable enough to be messy and cute and flirty and sexy, one right after the other.

And the description is so thorough, I have no trouble at all imagining myself there, in that wonderful, relaxing moment.

This story is relaxing, decadent, soothing, and fun all at once. I am a huge fan of the ending, as well. I was smiling through the whole story, but at the end, I literally laughed aloud. And now I think I’m going to have to excuse myself to go find some chocolate chip cookies. This story gave me a couple of cravings, and as Dean Winchester is in short supply in the real world, cookies are the one I can satisfy right now.

This story is, dare I say it, such a sweet escape.

- Val

No Sugar Added - @myinconnelly1 - requested by @fangirlxwritesx67 - “I’d like to see Steve Rogers from MARVEL sharing Depression-era coping tips. Maybe he vlogs how to make apple-less apple pie.”

No pairing

Warnings: Spoilers for Infinity Wars + Endgame, mention of mental health issues

Words: 446

This was my prompt for the Cabin, and I loved what this author did with the story! A little bit of fluffy cheer.

“Hello, I’m Steve Rogers. As many of you know, I’m also Captain America, and I was alive during another time of hard living conditions.”

Right now, a lot of things in the world seem scary and unsettling. It's one of those times when we turn for comfort to the lessons of the past, to the wisdom of generations, and to heroes. This author does a great job with Captain America, Steve Rogers. His cooking lesson is exactly the sort of inspiring, instructional video I would love to see.

“What is that smell?” Natasha asked as she looked behind her to see Steve walking into the office with the plate.

Because it was never about pie, apple or otherwise. It was always about comfort. Our favorite foods help with that, and so does Captain America, especially written this well.

There are some fun tidbits in this story, including a peek of history and an actual recipe!

- Viv

Communion - @thoughtslikeaminefield - requested by @mskathywriteswords “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty”

Pairing: Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Warnings: marijuana use, high sex, het sex, fluffy smut

Words: 1002

How do I love this? Let me count the motherfucking ways.

First of all, the way this sucks you into the characters’ headspace is beautiful and subtle and masterfully done. It’s in the sentence structure and the flow of the words; there’s no need to describe their inner state, because it’s written into the movement of the sentences and the choice of words. She doesn’t have to say that they’re high, because you can fucking feel it in phrases like “It’s sending me off somewhere…” or “I shiver at the thoughts careening through my mind.”

Second, this is molten hot, but (as with the best smut) it’s not just some rote story of “then he was hard and we banged and it was great.” The sexy bits are unique; this isn’t the same smut you’ve read a thousand times before. It’s got its own personality and tone and voice that very much belong to this particular story.

Also? Filth with feelings! My favorite genre! It’s deeply emotional. I am all for smut that is both dirty and tender. This is like a masterclass on how to walk that line.

It’s such a simple premise that becomes so much more; this has things to say about Dean, about his personality, about this relationship. This takes a very specific moment and uses it as a framework for something big and meaningful. This, for example:

When Dean has to be big, he uses his whole self. His body takes up space and his mere presence -- he can make the darkest of demons shudder with his presence alone.

But Dean’s natural state is this -- nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm.

Yuuuup.

Also:

His hands -- the same hands I’ve seen thrust a blade into the guts of angels and demons -- are tender, fingertips light but persistent as they slip under my tank top and splay over my belly.

It’s so intimate. This is why we read fanfic, right? To feel like we’re close to these characters that we love so much, to delve into the sides of them that we don’t get to see much in canon… this fic feels like something personal and private that we’ve been lucky enough to be let in on.

- Lou

Deeper Than Deep Conditioner - @fangirlxwritesx67 - requested by @awesomesusiebstuff “The two Sam’s (our Sam and AU Sam) maintaining their hair care routines while quarantined.”

It’s one of those days when I’m feeling too fragile for this world. What’s the best remedy to knock some sunlight into my dark mood? Today, it’s fic -- and one that makes me giggle is a bonus.

This little gem is filled with funny one-liners and side-eye moments to make you laugh out loud:

Dean dreamed of driving away, of bikini beauties on the beaches of Rio. Sam dreamed of scarves and what it would be like to have no bigger worries in the world than his hair.

The look Dean gave him would’ve curdled milk, if there was any, which there wasn’t, because Dean took his coffee black, like a man.

A touch of realism in this bizarro situation got a chuckle, too:

“Sorry, sweethearts,” alt!Dean said, “Flights are all cancelled. A virus or something.”

When Viv named the alternates Deano and Sami, I gave in and embraced the madness. I was delighted with Deano; that’s my own nickname for Dean in my head. But Sami, a most pretentious twist on Sammy? A master stroke. I was tickled.

I was fully on board with enjoying this romp through the bizarro world, but then I was taken by surprise. This little moment, a hint that Sam has been trying to make the best of their circumstances, touched me:

“Is this really how you live?” said Sami, with a dismissive glance at his paper napkin.

“Look,” Sam answered. “I’ve done my best. It’s taken a lot to get us this far.”

I was prepared for that to be the exception to the rule -- a moment of sincerity amongst a sea of lighthearted fun. And there was plenty of fun ahead of me. The jokes come at you hard and fast in this story! But I realized the mood was steadily changing, and suddenly, I was immersed in sincerity and maybe a little sadness:

...somewhere out there, was a universe where he pampered himself...

...maybe there was a place where he could enjoy something as simple as a deep condition...

...something Sam had wanted to watch but never had time for...

...for the first time in a long time, he caught himself laughing...

I thought maybe that was it. A few moments of Sam learning to appreciate what Sami (I was still laughing at that) had to offer, instead of simply mocking his manbun and scarf (I don’t think I could ever stop mocking that, but Sam’s a better person than I am).

But no. It didn’t end there, and I still wasn’t ready. Before I knew it, I was steeped in Sam’s melancholy, his yearning for a life kinder and gentler than what he’d been given. I was truly heartbroken for him in that moment.

I won’t spoil the rest, but by the time I got to the ending, I was grateful for the funny beginning that softened the landing. I expected a comedy, but what I got really was deeper than deep conditioner.

- Bri

Dear Mr. Fantasy - @itmighthavebeenintentional - image prompt submitted @thoughtslikeaminefield

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst.

Words: 2157

I found the image prompt in my Tumblr feed and immediately started plotting ideas that I cannot write bc I have too many fucking WIPs so imagine my excite when one of my all-time favorite fic writers (and one of my very best friends) filled the prompt as a surprise for me!

Val tells stories with a depth and humor like no one else I’ve ever read. Her natural wit and smarts shine through her fictional words as well, and I love seeing glimpses of her in her work.

In one universe, someone neglected Baby (couldn’t have been Dean, had to’ve been Sam) to the point where she pulls slightly to the left. Dean spends the morning after that dream with a muscle tick in his cheek and a suspicious, side-eyed glare for Sam that he never bothers to explain.

Dear Mr. Fantasy is bittersweet. It is soft and rich and full of color — all the senses are here. It’s a sledgehammer of realism wrapped in velvet. And it’s so very Dean.

At forty-eight years old (none of that years young bullshit, either; he’s old, and he’s goddamn earned it)

In the midst of reading canon Dean dreaming of and admiring and protecting his favorite of his AU-selves and that version’s life, we are treated to what it would be like if he was allowed a normal life. Our devoted, brave, warm, and loving hunter as a common mechanic would be just as brave and loyal, no?

“Pretty sure she’s settled on ya, so just make sure you’re worth it.”

So that’s what Dean did.

But our Dean — the Real Dean as Chuck says — can’t quite let his guard down even in his dreams of another world, even if that other world is safe as houses. He’s still aware of just how unreal this reality is.

Splashes of indigo and orange paint the horizon, framing her approach in a wash of colors blending into shadows that hold no danger.

Then, he lets himself mingle with that dream, if only for a few moments and it’s bliss.

Older Dean and worn-out, monster-plagued Dean sigh together, content down to their bones. This life is it for both of them. She is it. One Dean still can’t believe his amazing luck after all these years, and the other aches at the simple, total happiness he feels honored to witness.

I love you, she whispers, and he allows himself to believe for one moment that she’s talking directly to him.

I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but I will say that you need some tissues. I cried through 90% of this story, from joy and from heartache.

Because that’s what Valerie does, breaks your heart and makes you smile, and it is so fucking good.

- MJ

Synesthesia - @there-must-be-a-lock - request by @wendibird “SPN, Sastiel, due to all the Angelic Grace Sam has been exposed to over time, he starts resonating with Castiel’s. Especially if Cas’ emotions are running high.”

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Castiel

Warnings: none!

Words: 750

First, I love the song that enhanced this idea for Lou. It lends a tenderness and whimsy to the plot that isn’t inherent.

Second, Lou’s words are like poetry and watercolor doing a dance of their own making — GORGEOUS phrasing and rhythm.

Cas whirls around, and Sam is hypnotized by the bright blue in his eyes, wide and concerned in a way that makes Sam feel like he’s being lit up from the inside. There’s a floodlight in his chest.

And, y’all, I don’t even go here, but I swooned SO HARD.

It’s an effort to focus, but when he meets Cas’s eyes, Cas smiles. Sam sees a shower of sparks like the last fizzle of a firework.

Sam hears it as a flutter of spring green like a new leaf.

And Lou’s characterization is always spot on, right? But like Dean isn’t even in the scene, yet here we are.

Don’t let the words fool you; there’s a very angry rainbow happening in his head most of the time.

And did I mention the ARTWORK that is this woman’s WORDS?

There are stars under their feet, entire galaxies spinning out around them, dancing spirals of kaleidoscopic green and gold melting into whorls of brilliant blue.

Anyway, please go read. You’ll be flying high for hours afterward. xox

- MJ

Salvation - @dontshootmespence - image created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy

Pairings: Sam Winchester x reader

Warnings: angst, torture, gore, smut

Words: 1,401

The aesthetics by this artist inspire stories just because they are so well done. This one was a good balance of handsome Sam and some nice suggestive pics along with the phrases that helped shape the action of the story.

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left.

These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar.

"You're Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

It's easy to forget, sometimes, all the things that Sam has been and done, how fearsome of a hunter he is. This story reminds us with razor sharp precision.

When he meets her gaze, he finds the peace he's craved for so long.

The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose?

This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam!

"You're safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me."

Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It's no wonder he's fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action, some sweet hotness, and such a good Sam!

- Viv

The Second Hand Unwinds - @mskathywriteswords - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: hurt, comfort, angst

I had a vibe in mind when I created this aesthetic but this went so far beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It absolutely nailed that nostalgic, wistful, antique-photo-album feel, and then it managed to knife me in the fucking gut in a few ways, none of which I saw coming.

The JOY in the first part of this is absolutely tangible. It’s so romantic and sweet in a very dreamy way that feels exactly like first love. I love the scattered, disjointed imagery around the flowers in the first part, like flashes of memories coming at you all at once, and then when it settles into the narrative it manages to hold onto that dreamy feeling while still moving neatly through the plot.

This moment was about us, and I wanted to live in it forever. You never gave me reason to cover my body, not that night or ever.

Goddamn right. Ugh, precious and beautiful. And then this:

After so much undiluted time together, I had no idea how to sleep alone. I felt raw waking up by myself, not being able to feel your stubble tickling my skin.

There’s something about that last line that just grabbed my heart and tugged it in a wonderful way. It’s ACCURATE, first of all; this is one of those super-specific feelings that is hard to describe concisely. I haven’t really thought about that feeling in a while, but that little sentence just cut through so many years and brought me right back in a deep and visceral way.

You took pride in doing all the things that were never done for you, you’d told me.

Ouch. It’s little touches like this that make this ring true to character even though it’s a very different Dean than we see in canon.

And then that ENDING.

How do you contain a bomb once it’s been set on fire with grief?

Fuck, dude. Everything about that ending was so painful. I love that she left it raw and messy and not like a simple “welcome back!” kinda moment.

This was just gorgeously done. Can not recommend it enough.

Fort - @there-must-be-a-lock - prompt by @mskathywriteswords “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty.”

Pairing: J2 x reader

Warnings: blowjobs and weed.

Words: ~2150

This piece of deliciousness opens with Jensen walking out of the bathroom with a towel on his hips; do I need to say more? I don’t, but I will. After some beautiful description of the blanket fort, we get treated to Jared in nothing but pajama pants. The descriptions in this piece are vivid and full. the way Jared’s hand looks between Jensen’s muscled shoulderblades, thumb stroking back and forth between patches of gold and red light, makes me want to capture the moment and hold onto it. I can see that image in my mind, picture the two of them together, and that’s what makes excellent writing for me. The warnings attached to this piece are fully applicable; the story is very cute and sweet, there’s weed, and there’s Jared and a wicked oral fixation, which in the case of this one-shot means dear Reader, that’s you, get to witness a searing blowjob from one J to another. The way these three interact makes my heart swell, and there’s something about watching the dynamic change between them that really hammers home just how functional they are together. Dive in to this universe, Everything. There are no regrets to be had, maybe only that you waited so long to get wet.

- Kathy

The Gazelle - @thoughtslikeaminefield - requested by Anonymous “I’d really love some more Dean x Benny fanfiction, AU, aligned with canon timeline, whatever. I think they deserved a chance and Benny got killed off before it could even be explored :(”

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x AU Benny Lafitte x unnamed female character

Warnings: power exchange, mmf threesome implied, Denny apparent, nudity

Words: 1000

Let me start with a caveat: I’m in the bag for pretty much any Dean x Benny fic, pretty much any Dean x Benny x person #3 fic, and absolutely any MJ fic. So you could stop reading this review right now and just go read the fic, if you want; in fact, I sort of recommend it, because it’s better than anything I could have to say about it. But if you want to stick around, I promise to be a little more coherent than ZOMGGGG PERFECT HOT SEXY TIMES DENNY LOVE GORGEOUS MORE PLZ!

Before we even get to the words, we’ve got a gorgeous graphic. Black and white beautiful boys, staring you down with those “I’m gonna fuck you so good” eyes, paired with a sweetly sexy woman tinted with a soft pink; she looks carefree, open to have some fun, and you can imagine her telling them to bring it on. MJ’s graphics are always great, setting the perfect mood for her fics, and this is no exception.

And right from the jump:

Dean and me — we share a lot of things.

We share good music and good drink. Tonight, we’re sharing a good woman.

Oh, this is in Benny’s voice?! Okay okay okay, cool cool cool, I can handle this…

...Dean purrs like a jungle cat as he hovers behind her, hands in her hair, twisting and twirling the silky tresses…

...Dean sets the pace and is the anchor, always. He keeps everything stable and grounded…

And now I’ve realized that I’m going to be seeing Dean through Benny’s eyes -- and no, not cool, can’t handle this -- but I’m definitely not stopping.

I like to mix things up, though, and he lets me.

MJ is a brilliant writer with many talents, but I think her specialty, regardless of what characters she’s writing with, is brilliantly salacious smut that’s steeped in emotion. She can’t help it. Her fucks come with feels, every single time, and I hope it never changes.

This piece is certainly no exception. Dean and Benny are circling their prey, this unnamed woman, utilizing their individual strengths -- Dean’s encouraging, I’m demanding -- and the sexual tension is building with soft touches and lingering kisses. As the scene is progressing, Benny’s inner monologue is sprinkled with thoughts about Dean:

Times we don’t have a subject, Dean’s focus is on me. I don’t argue and I do not complain. Dean knows what to do with every inch of that long, lean body of his. He knows how to cage a person in, make them feel safe, wanted, fucking needed.

She’s handily building emotion and a personal backstory without an exposition dump, without taking focus away from the action for too long:

His hands move slowly, seemingly random, but I know how focused he is on her and the moment. Giving and seeking pleasure are vital things to Dean and he takes the acts to heart.

I’m immersed in the now of this scene but I also understand the depth of their feelings for one another, their history and dedication to each other, and how they work together to bring another partner into their orbit. MJ makes it look easy, when it’s anything but.

And then she gifts us with this perfection and I’ve melted into a puddle of emotionally aroused goo:

“You promise to love, honor, and cherish ‘til the morning light, Dean?”

That is a vow of devotion to a one-night stand. What?! How?! Does her brain come up with this?

From there, the scene continues, the action escalating, supported by a framework of realism and heart. Her Dean feels familiar and in character, even though we’ve never seen him in this particular situation. And Benny, we hardly knew ye, but she brings him to life alongside Dean and I buy their relationship completely. I buy all of this, and now I’m invested.

And then…

“Do it, then,” she says, challenging. “Wreck me.”

My breath catches, my heart starts to race -- yes, here we go! -- a few more sentences, one last connection between Dean and Benny, and then --

Oh, you are evil, MJ. You are so perfectly evil and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

- Bri

#random acts of love #cabin-fever-bang #cabin fever bang #fanfiction #fic rec #rec list #bear hugs #welcome to the cabin #campfire stories #writers supporting writers

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spacetimewithstuartgary · 4 years

Photo

AAS NOVA 1,000 AAS Nova Highlights and Five Years of Astronomy By Susanna Kohler In August of 2015, AAS Nova launched as a new service provided by the AAS journals. Today, five years later, we’re officially celebrating the milestone of the 1,000th Highlight post published on the site. Beyond functioning as a news service, AAS Nova acts as an archive of astronomy research — which provides us with an interesting opportunity to explore how our understanding of the universe has developed. Today we’re taking a moment to look back at a tiny sample of the new discoveries and ideas published across different corridors in the AAS journals and highlighted on AAS Nova over the past half-decade. Galaxies and Cosmology As might be expected, the past five years have seen new records set for the galaxies we’ve spotted, from the densest galaxy to the faintest distant galaxy to some galaxies that — mysteriously — might be lacking dark matter entirely. We’ve also continued to make progress toward resolving a number of long-standing debates, such as the question of why we don’t see as many small satellite galaxies as predicted (the “missing satellite problem”), or why our two methods of measuring the Hubble constant — a number that describes the rate of expansion of the universe — come up with different results. High-Energy Phenomena and Fundamental Physics One of the biggest headlines in the past five years was the first detection of gravitational waves from a merging pair of black holes. Since this discovery, the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) and its European counterpart, Virgo, have detected more than a dozen mergers of compact objects, and observatories across the world have searched for — and found! — electromagnetic counterparts to these collisions. Theoretical models of compact binary formation and evolution have also advanced in leaps and bounds as we’ve learned more. Continuing the theme of “cool new observations of black holes”, the Event Horizon Telescope presented its view of M87 last year, opening a window onto what’s happening in the innermost regions around supermassive black holes. And we’ve amassed dozens of observations of black holes tearing apart passing stars in tidal disruption events, improving our models of this destruction in the process. But outbursts from black holes aren’t the only transient phenomena flashing through our skies. The past few years have dramatically advanced our understanding of fast radio bursts, sudden, brief bursts of radio emission that originate from outside our galaxy. We now suspect these flashes might be related to high-energy phenomena, like the birth or evolution of distant magnetars. Interstellar Matter and the Local Universe One of the biggest new players in the study of gas and dust in the local universe is the Atacama Large Millimeter/submillimeter Array (ALMA), which announced new results from its first long-baseline, high-resolution campaign around the time that AAS Nova first launched. Since then, ALMA has continued to produce spectacular observations — the array is mentioned in 82 of the 1,000 Highlights currently posted on AAS Nova, indicating the transformative nature of its observations. As we peer deeper into interstellar clouds, we’ve also discovered a number of new molecules in the gas and dust of the universe, broadening our interstellar census and helping us to better understand our origins. Additionally, we’ve made significant advances in understanding the structure of magnetic fields in dense interstellar clouds and unraveling the role that they play in star formation. Laboratory Astrophysics, Instrumentation, and Software While the most headline-grabbing astronomy is often major detections and observations, more attention has started to come to the important underlying work of exploring astrophysical phenomena in the lab — from the construction of white dwarf photospheres to the formation of dust grains under conditions mimicking the cold vacuum of space — and developing new and increasingly advanced instrumentation and software. New observatory designs like the CHIME radio array have come online and are already producing dramatic results, and scientists continue to produce clever algorithms for more advanced data analysis and new codes for simulating astrophysical sources and phenomena. Human-made objects in space continue to both inspire and trigger debate. Recent developments include the Breakthrough Starshot Initiative to send a fleet of centimeter-sized spacecraft to the nearest star system, as well as the influx of satellites in low-Earth orbit and the impact this has on astronomy. The Solar System, Exoplanets, and Astrobiology The hypothetical Planet Nine made a splash nearly five years ago when it was first proposed as an explanation for the odd clustering of trans-Neptunian objects in our outer solar system. Significant theoretical and observational work has followed, but we still don’t know if there’s an unseen planet lurking in the outskirts of our solar system. On the small-body front, the New Horizons spacecraft flew by Pluto just before AAS Nova launched, and it then followed up with an up-close look at asteroid MU 69. Multiple interstellar asteroids have recently been observed as they pass through our solar system, and missions are underway to actually land on asteroids and return samples to Earth. Recent exoplanet observations and models explore compact multiplanet systems, ultrashort-period hot Jupiters, and the atmospheres of extreme exoplanets. TESS launched in 2018 and has revolutionized exoplanet observations. The number of detected Earth-like planets continues to grow, and we’re better exploring host stars’ habitable zones. New players have joined the search for extraterrestrial intelligence, and we’re learning more about promising targets for astrobiology searches as well potential biosignatures to look for. The Sun and the Heliosphere In solar physics, we’ve continued to make steady progress toward solving major mysteries of our Sun, like how particles are accelerated in energetic solar flares, and why the outer solar corona is so much hotter than the layers of the Sun’s atmosphere that lie below it (the so-called coronal heating problem). We’re also gaining a better understanding of our broader solar system as the Voyager satellites and IBEX explore the heliosphere. In addition to the large assortment of Sun-observing telescopes already on the job, we’re still finding new ways to explore our nearest star — from hard X-ray images to balloon-borne ultraviolet observations. An especially unique view is now coming from the Parker Solar Probe, a spacecraft that recently arrived at the Sun and is already producing results. This probe will continue to plunge ever closer to the Sun’s surface over the next five years. Stars and Stellar Simulations continue to advance and we’ve significantly improved our abilities to model and understand the dramatic deaths of massive stars. We’ve observed new oddities — like the baffling dimming of Boyajian’s star or the unusual transient known as the Cow — and we better understand the magnetic activity and flaring of cool M-dwarf stars, some of the best prospective hosts for habitable planets. A huge astronomical milestone was achieved with Gaia’s first and second data releases, which map the positions, parallaxes, and proper motions for more than a billion stars and have enabled a wealth of studies of our surrounding galaxy. There are, of course, many more astronomical successes from the past half-decade than could be summarized in a short post here. Even so, this look back on the past five years of astronomy provides a clear sense of the remarkable advances we’ve made in a relatively short time. It should be noted that our advances don’t negate the challenges that our field still faces — we have plenty of problems to address, like racial diversity, equity, and inclusion in astronomy. Nonetheless, as we look both inward and outward, we’re making steady progress toward understanding the universe around us and our role in it. At AAS Nova, we’ve loved reporting on all that’s happened in astronomy over the past five years. We’re excited to see what the next five bring! AAS publishing IMAGE 1....Hubble image of the heart of the Tarantula nebula, a bright, nearby star-forming region. [NASA, ESA, and D. Lennon (ESA/STScI)] IMAGE 2....The faint object in the center of this image is NGC 1052-DF2, an ultra-diffuse galaxy at the center of a scientific debate about dark matter. [NASA/ESA/P. van Dokkum (Yale University)] IMAGE 3....Simulated image of two merging black holes, viewed face-on. LIGO announced the detection of ten of these events from its first two observing runs. [SXS Lensing] IMAGE 4....This ALMA image of the protoplanetary disk surrounding the star HL Tauri reveals the detailed substructure of the disk, including gaps that may have been cleared by planets. [ALMA (ESO/NAOJ/NRAO)] IMAGE 5....Artist’s illustration of the Breakthrough Starshot Initiative, a plan to send a fleet of tiny spacecraft to Alpha Centauri. [Breakthrough Initiatives] IMAGE 6....This composite image with enhanced colors shows New Horizons observations of Pluto (foreground) and Charon (background). [NASA/JHUAPL/SwRI] IMAGE 7....Artist’s illustration of the Parker Solar Probe. A special ApJS issue features around 50 articles detailing early results from this mission. [NASA/Johns Hopkins APL/Steve Gribben] IMAGE 8....Artist’s illustration of one of the most massive star clusters within the Milky Way. The center of the cluster contains 14 red supergiant stars. [NASA, ESA and A. Schaller (for STScI)]

#space #science #Astronomy #physics #news

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hillnerd · 5 years

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Hi, I was reading an ask you answered on shipping and you mentioned that people don’t like the weasleys due to classism, which I’ve never thought of but definitely makes sense. Have you made any posts that expand on this? I’d be interested to read more

You know, I believe I haven’t made any long posts regarding this issue. Time to remedy that, eh?

I suppose it’s important to define what classism is and how it instructs our views on things in the first place.

It’s defined as: “prejudice against or in favor of people belonging to a particular social class.”

Classism is very much built into our social fabric, and almost always has. The social classes of Western society (which are the ones I’m dealing with as this is an HP post) have been highly structured for thousands of years. The names and qualifications may have altered over time, but in general there are always about 4-5 social classes. Elite, Middle, Working, Poor being the general layout, with overlaps and extra subsets within each class.

On some level we are taught that ‘money doesn’t mean everything’- but that is constantly undermined by the continuance of the classist messages put forth in media and advertisements. We are bombarded by images of success meaning accumulated wealth. Every time there’s another holiday businesses can exploit for profit, they will trot out advertisements for cars, jewelry, toys, homes etc. And we’re supposed to buy into that mindset- to find objects to display our very worth, and convey worth to others. It’s ‘sexy’ to be ‘successful’ in these ways.

In fandoms there are certain tropes people gravitate to- and the rich man with nothing but time on his hands to shower his lover in riches? That is a highly beloved trope. Mournful giant mansions are ever so much more ‘interesting’ than a working class farmhouse.

Which brings us round to the Weasleys. They are very coded as working class/lower middle class, as well as ‘normal’ when it comes to looks, and red haired (which between their great numbers and red hair read as Irish Catholic to many audiences.) The father is tall, skinny and balding, the bother is short overweight and overworked. This is not the vision of ‘sexy and succesful’ we are told are the height of accomplishment. They aren’t glamourous, wealthy, or traditionally good looking. We know the Weasley kids all must deal with the reality of coming from a poor family. The twins bemoan the price of books in CoS, and we see Percy angry about his father’s lack of reputation- but the only child we see consistently dealing with the consequences of this poverty is Ron.

The consequences of being poor, and from a large family, are evident in many ways- and from the get go Ron is the only one we get to see them with.

The ‘look’ of wealth:

He’s in scruffy hand me downs, doesn’t have extra money to spend on things like sweets, has a fat old rat as a pet, and a wand that’s not even his own. This is all well and good when you’re eleven- but as he grows up, in some ways he’s expected to ‘be cooler’ ‘be sexier’ ‘be more together’- so when he’s still gangly, freckled, in crap clothes with a silly owl- well it’s not the sexy picture of wealth and success.

The confidence of wealth that comes with curating your life:

The confidence of wealth is something people expect others to exude as well. If you can’t be wealthy, then you’re supposed to at least be incredibly confident and self assured. The luxury of choice is denied Ron. He’s unable to have choices about anything, because it’s either except what you’re given, or go without (jumpers, sandwiches, pets, broken wands, dress robes, brooms etc). Ron is unable to curate his life at all. He can’t pick and choose much- and this comes across as ‘childish’ or ‘lazy’ to some. He is unable to be self actualized due to his wealth status (And the fact that he’s a teenage boy), and this is further compounded by the fact that he’s from a large family where all paths of selfactualization he could take, have already been taken- thus undermining anything he hopes to accomplish for himself until he’s out of school, minimum.

Classism as a means of bullying:

Ron is the only Weasley to be consistently mocked and belittled for his wealth status throughout the series. When we first meet Ron, Immediately his class is thrown in his face by Malfoy- and this is continued- coming to a head with the ‘Weasley is our King’ song, where he is sung at about how poor he is.

The emotional consequences of poverty are written off:

The poor are allowed to be poor as long as they never complain. But the moment they do, there tends to be a view of this as not only weak, but ‘ungrateful.’ How dare they not be happy to have what they have? How dare they not dociley and silently improve their status so we don’t have to hear them complain anymore?

Workingclass stereotypes at play:

Working class stereotypes are very much at play, especially when it comes to how people perceive Ron. Uncultured, stupid, lazy, violent, wife beaters etc. You see fandom littered with this view of him. And then it also likes to paint the Weasley women as the shrewish, provoking nag.

In some ways the Weasleys do fit into these stereotypes- the Weasleys are ready for a physical fight many times in the books, Mrs Weasley can be the nagging wife/mother stereotype, none of the youngest Weasleys are seen as erudite library lovers and instead are more sporty, and many of the Weasleys aren’t particularly motivated about school.

Rough and tumble is quickly painted as problematic and dangerous. Jovial and sporty is quickly painted as uncultured and lacking in intellectual pursuits. Lovingly protective is quickly painted as controlling and harmful. Being laid back about certain goals suddenly makes them lazy.

The thing is, when these same features come from other characters, they are not generally seen in that way.

Draco and his family are a prime example of that. The framing of these two families by fandom is tied to closely with class distinctions:

They are constantly threatening violence, both with fists (even if they are hired thugs) and wands- yet they aren’t painted as particularly prone towards violence.

Draco is never shown as particularly intelligent or learned- yet is portrayed that way by fandom despite his lack of accomplishments. His barbs aren’t even very intelligent- they’re just mean and sarcastic.

The Malfoys actually are controlling and harmful- they’ve abused house elves, threaten people left and right, and are highly influential- but that’s seemingly not as big a crime as Molly Weasley worrying over her children?

Draco is so supremely lazy he goes out of his way to have servants do things for him- including Ron in PoA- he does not earn his way onto te quidditch team- it’s given to him, along with new brooms for everyone. Yet Ron is seen as lazy because he’s not a school nerd, and Draco an erudite because he sarcastically comes up with barbs on the sidelines.

Meanwhile the Weasleys are fighting for justice, all of them are proving their intelligence and grit every book, the Weasleys are so loving and helpful that they take in other people (Harry and Hermione), are the ones making the parties at Gryffindor tower awesome, and are the main caretakers for the whole Order. They earn everything they ever have (with the exception being when Percy is handed a position in ootp so they can manipulate him) and work hard to achieve everything they do. Ron puts in the time with his sweat and body- but it’s rarely recognized.

Classist tropes heavily enforced in the films

Steve Kloves heavily changed the Weasleys in the movies. He simplified them, made them pretty stupid, lazy, unloyal, and fearful. They are the bravest family in the books, but in the films it’s not really touched on. He loves making them look a joke, though. The films played heavily into classist tropes of dumb/funny poor people basically being kept around to amuse the middle and upper class.

It’s rare the actual merit of the Weasleys was shown, and so it re-enforced the stereoptypes people already had. Basically look up any ‘irish stereotype’ and it is heavily applied to the working class- and it seems this continues with the Weasleys.

Technically, with Arthur’s job, they are considered low middle class in many ways. He has a job that touches on the political, he knows people and has some modicum of influence. They own property. They are the ‘noble poor’ (which is very much set apart from the truly impoverished like Lupin, problematic poor who are criminals and snatchers, or the slave-class poor of the elves.)

They struggle, though, to balance it all out- and in the films we see little of their merits. They are played for jokes throughout most of the series, and are rather cartoonish.

The actors are all very good- but they were given a script and followed it- and in the script it very much dictates buffoonery and silliness is the rule of the day for the Weasleys the majority of the time. When they are not cartoons, they are to stand idly and cry as they are victimized/put in danger (literally every single film with Ron) much of the fire is taken out of Mr Weasley in is Arthur v Lucius scenes, They just stand around as their home is burnt down. We don’t see any of them fight successfully except Molly Weasley, and few throwaway spells by Ginny and Ron towards the end of the series. Like… They are not shown as intelligent, fearsome, or important to the narrative/Harry much at all, despite their significance in the series. They’re window dressing, but not actual people.

The Malfoys are given more gravitas and reality, by contrast- and they added in moments of humanity and heroism even (such as the deleted scene of Draco tossing Harry his wand.)

Same for Curse Child. Draco’s journey as a father is important to the play- his son is one of the protagonists- meanwhile Ron is basically pure comedy, Ginny is quiet, and Rose is snotty and barely present.

CONCLUSION

Overall the treatment we’ve seen of the Weasleys both in the films, the play, and fandom shows a disdain/ambivalence towards them that seems steeped in the traditions of classism towards the working class. They’ve become a bunch of Punch and Judys, or bystanders, while the rest of the main cast is afforded a bit more dignity and gravitas. Their importance and power are minimized, and their internal struggles are minimized so that when they DO come up they are seen as out of nowhere (sometimes even mean), their cartoonishness is emphasized- and their overall character arcs/journeys are treated as jokes, because that is how the working class is treated in society. I find it interesting that as JKR became more and more removed from the world of poverty she knew, the more cartoonish moments were added to the Weasleys. :P Just sayin’. She obviously still cares about them, but there is a difference in their treatment from the earlier books to the later in many ways- especially Ron- not even touching on how she let him be portrayed in the films and play.

#classism #harry potter #meta #weasleys #malfoys #analysis #my wriitng #hillnerd writes #Anonymous

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hartigays · 5 years

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steve being in his head to much and starting to think he’s not all that attractive anymore and his boyfriend billy is there to tell him different.🥺

YES!!! look. i know recently we’ve been talking a lot about post-s3 billy being self-conscious of his scars and thinking they make him less attractive. but i also have been wanting to discuss steve having some body image issues as well, so thank you for sending me this 🥴

like, steve worked at scoops all summer pretty much, he was surrounded by nothing but sugar the entire time, and it’s impossible not to indulge a little when you’re confronted with sweets, especially when stressed (and even if it was a job at an ice cream shop, customer service is always stressful. no matter what). and he’s no longer in school, playing basketball every day, having that hour or two of intense cardio.

you all know where i’m going with this. steve gains a bit of weight, gets softer around the edges, his lil tummy coming back (steve’s soft lil tummy in the coke trailer (ad??? whatever i don’t remember what it was i just know steve was babie) made me WEAK i just wanna kiss!! anyway i digress) and he gets really self-conscious about it. he’s genuinely worried that billy will stop wanting to be with him if he doesn’t look the way he did in high school when they first met.

steve gets in his head about it for WEEKS. he acts strange, and closed off, the entire time. for a little while, billy just assumes it’s just the progression of his mental and emotional response to everything that happened at starcourt. but the longer it goes on, and the longer steve doesn’t talk about, billy gets concerned. until billy finally just confronts him about it, desperate to understand what’s wrong. steve is reluctant to talk about it at first, but he finally cracks, spilling all of his worst fears and concerns.

and billy is just. dumbfounded. because that is absolutely not what he thought steve was going to say. not even CLOSE. but he’s also just.......confused. because he doesn’t care about steve’s physique, that’s not why billy loves him. and not to mention, he’s desperately attracted to steve no matter what, weight or no weight. billy literally cannot get enough of steve, he loves him and everything about him, any shape or form that may come in. and billy absolutely spends the rest of the evening proving that to him.

#soft boys n girls are the cutest okay #harringrove #ask #anon

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verycleverboy · 4 years

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Here’s another one you’re not gonna read...

(...because it’s excruciatingly long, not because it isn’t necessary.)

One of my most faithful followers (unless I’m confusing him with someone else, because what little blowback I get from the other side of the street tends to bleed together these days) checked in about a different post I made for this story, which I entitled (checks notes) ”Geriatric toddler threatens to dismiss a branch of the government during a national emergency unless he gets the toys that he wants”:

First of all, hope you’re doing well in the current situation, and thank you for your thoughtful analysis of the first two words of a joke headline.

The Washington Post article that joke was attached to goes into the president’s threat last week to dismiss Congress under the never-used Article II, Section 3 of the Constitution, with the goal of making recess appointments that bypassed the hearings that have tripped up several high-profile nominees.

Like a lot of things that literally every other POTUS before the current one never attempted, there’s a pretty spirited debate as to what conditions would have to be fulfilled for Trump to successfully pull this maneuver off, assuming it’s not all bluster and no muster. One major condition that would have to exist is that the Senate and the House would have to be in disagreement on adjournment, and according to the National Law Journal, there is no disagreement between the chambers at the moment. The current session officially adjourns on January 3, 2021. So until circumstances prove otherwise, we have to operate under the assumption that he can, in fact, exercise this extraordinary Constitutional power...under a narrow set of conditions which don’t exist right now.

The reason he’s making this threat, and why his supplemental threat to “take it to the courts” is toothless, is that the last man in his current position tried to make a recess appointment between the type of pro forma sessions we’re dealing with now and was shot down by a unanimous Supreme Court decision, one which reaffirmed that Congress is done when Congress says it’s done.

But one justice went a little bit further in his concurring opinion, issuing a warning about any court decision that “transforms the recess-appointment power from a tool carefully designed to fill a narrow and specific need into a weapon to be wielded by future presidents against future Senates.”

“The Recess Appointments Clause therefore is, or rather, should be, an anachronism—’essentially an historic relic, something whose original purpose has disappeared,’” the justice wrote. “The need it was designed to fill no longer exists, and its only remaining use is the ignoble one of enabling the president to circumvent the Senate’s role in the appointment process.”

Antonin Scalia, ladies and gentlemen.

Here’s where things get interesting, though, because the statement that came from Mitch McConnell’s office, at least if you squint hard enough, signals “I feel ya, bro, but focus.”: “The Leader pledged to find ways to confirm nominees considered mission-critical to the COVID-19 pandemic, but under Senate rules will take consent from Leader Schumer.”

Which brings us back to our article up there...

What qualifies as “mission-critical to the COVID-19 pandemic”? There are a few nominees that are cooling their heels at the moment, but for the Voice of America (and yes, now is when we finally get to the linked article), one of them strikes pretty close to home.

U.S. President Donald Trump is threatening to adjourn Congress because lawmakers have not approved his candidates for senior posts in his administration, including his nominee to run the independent agency overseeing the Voice of America.[...]

Documentary filmmaker Michael Pack, whom Trump has selected to run the U.S. Agency for Global Media, is one of 15 key nominees awaiting confirmation by the Senate. Trump cited Pack by name (but erroneously identified the body he would head as USAGM’s predecessor agency, the Broadcasting Board of Governors).

Michael Pack is a self-described conservative documentary filmmaker, one who has done work with Trump’s ex-chief strategist Steve Bannon. And there’s a pretty damn good reason why the confirmation committee pumped the brakes on his nomination (per CNBC).:

The “problematic revelations” that Menendez says he discovered just before Pack’s confirmation hearing in 2019 include “whether Mr. Pack engaged in inappropriate or unlawful activity related to transactions between his business (Manifold Productions) and his non-profit (Public Media Lab)” and “whether Mr. Pack engaged in self-dealing while in a leadership position at the Claremont Institute through the awarding of a contract to Manifold” even though that company doesn’t appear to have any qualifications to act as a vendor to the conservative think tank.

The letter to Meadows also sheds light on another aspect of Pack’s confirmation, which is that the Democratic committee leader has asked Pack to provide documents and answers to a variety of questions that could clear up these issues, only for Trump’s nominee to respond in a “perfunctory and inadequate” way.

“More than seven months have gone by since my initial questions. Mr. Pack has yet to provide the Committee with the requested information or to engage in a good-faith and serious effort to do so,” Menendez said.

So when confronted with his unethical, possibly illegal wrongdoing, Pack stonewalled, the way all this president’s men do. Sounds like a great guy to trust with public funds.

But seriously, why is this “mission critical to the COVID-19 pandemic”?

Back to VOA:

Pack’s nomination has “been stuck in committee for two years, preventing us from managing the Voice of America — very important,” the president said. “And if you heard what’s coming out of the Voice of America, it’s disgusting. The things they say are disgusting toward our country. And Michael Pack would get in and do a great job, but he’s been waiting for two years — can’t get him approved.”

Disgusting, you say? Let’s settle into that accusation for a hot minute.

Here’s the deal about the VOA: It went on the air on February 9, 1942, a little over two months after America found itself pulled into a global conflict of a massive scale with the actual, non-metaphorical Nazi government which had steamrolled over the European continent. That first broadcast came from a small studio in New York City, directed at an aggressor nation which had developed a robust system of delivering misinformation to its enemies.

So how do you combat lies? Double down on honesty.

youtube

“This is a voice speaking from America, a voice from America at war. Our voices are coming to you from New York, across the Atlantic Ocean to London, from where they are relayed to you in Germany. Today, America has been at war for 79 days. Daily at this time, we shall speak to you about America and the war. The news may be good or bad. We shall tell you the truth.“

“The news may be good or bad. We shall tell you the truth.” I’ve never been a journalist, but the first time I read those words I was thunderstruck. In the simplest language possible, there’s the Platonic ideal of what news reporting is supposed to be. It also sets a high bar for how the United States presents itself to the world. We could argue all day on how many American organizations live up to those words, how many American administrations live up to those words, or if any configuration of the American government is equipped to be honest and forthright in every imaginable situation. But that’s the resolution, the goal for all the world to see.

So what is the “disgusting” VOA coverage that President Trump is complaining about? If we look at some recent headlines, we might get a hint.:

US Nowhere Near Ready for Business as Usual, Former CDC Head Says

Fauci: US Economy Won’t Recover Until Coronavirus Controlled

WHO Chief: Worst on Coronavirus Pandemic Yet to Come

WHO Fears US Funding Cuts Will Roll Back Health Gains in Africa

If you actually read these, they’re nothing more than articles recounting expert assessments of the potential consequences of federal actions (or, just as often, inactions) connected to our coronavirus response. Addressing these things in the public square is usually meant to be a corrective, especially when your chief executive pays more attention to the media than his own advisors, and that a broadcast outlet funded by the US government isn’t afraid to publicize criticism of government decisions gives our entire system a much-needed shot of credibility.

But Trump has never been able to take even constructive criticism as anything other than a personal insult, an attitude which he magnifies by using the power of the highest office in the country to scream “FAKE! FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!” at the top of his lungs whenever he sees or hears something that hurts his feelings.

The only conclusion I can draw is that he wants the Voice of America to be more like the Voice of Korea, and the “mission critical” part of this gambit is that the VOA’s editorial independence distracts and confuses him. Do I seriously think the beacon of the Cold War era, the organization whose current director proudly proclaims “We export the First Amendment,” is going to be converted into a shoddy simulation of the old Eastern bloc broadcasters? Of course not. Would I put it past the current chief executive to at least try, destroying the VOA’s credibility to redesign it into yet another monument to himself? Not a shadow of a doubt.

“The news may be good or bad. We shall tell you the truth.” It’s a core element of America’s self-image, and the image we project to friends and foes alike. And the 45th President of the United States thinks that’s disgusting.

Because he doesn’t want the truth. He wants to be soothed and coddled. He wants a cookie and a story before bedtime. You know, like a toddler.

(PS: For the record, the “very clever boy” in this account’s original title was always intended to be Donald Trump, because, as you probably figured out a long time ago, I don’t view him as very clever, nor has he been a boy for quite some time. I changed the official name of the blog to Trump Happens because some people don’t get sarcasm.)

#constitution #Donald Trump #long reads #COVID-19 #coronavirus #voice of america #VOA

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sonipanda · 5 years

Text

Here we go with some glam for my birthday blog! This was supposed to be scheduled for Wednesday as the outfit I did want to wear today just wasn’t cutting it so I opted for this one to be posted today instead!

I love how you can get so many off Amazon that you have never heard of before! I would like to provide more information for you, however they don’t seem to have any about Richtoer.

Now these beauts were gifted by such a lovely follower of mine, and came as a 2 pair pack! I do have a spare unopened one going if anyone fancies them! – Or I just might keep them as a backup instead hehe!

The Spec

Colour: Champagne

Size: One Size

Denier: 70

Materials: Unknown

Price: £19.99

Website: Amazon – RICHTOER 2 Pairs Shaping Socks Oil Socks Shiny Silk Stockings Pantyhose Dance Tights

My Outfit

I have always wanted to do a glam outfit and I thought this would be perfect to pair up with some serious glossy hosiery! I paired my outfit with some platform diamante heels and created a party look!

My Deets

Full Outfit: Custom Made

Tights: Richtoer

Heels: Steve Madden

The Review

From The Website: SHINY SHAPING SOCKS. Trendy style to show leg curve perfectly.Giving your legs a skinny and unique appearance. Special and modern design makes you more attractive, charming, fashion. The bottom of the garter is thick and not easy to wear damage, ultra-smooth and durable. Say goodbye to the easily teared and ripped stockings. Package Content: 2 pair pantyhose stockings.

HIGH WAIST SEXY OIL SOCKS SILK STOCKINGS Thickness:70D. Size: Free Size Fits 40-75KG(88-165 lbs)，155-180CM(5 ft to 5.9 ft). Show leg curve perfectly, pure shimmer dance ballet tights. These tights are great for dance, exercise, recital, costume, and fashion.

SHAPING SOCKS SUIT ALL KINDS OF COMBINATIONS They tend to look better on your feet than in the product photos. Works out great with skirt/cosplay costume/shirt dress/tunics. Go with jeans, short pants, on heels, loafers, etc. Function: Breathable, burning fat, shaping,absorb sweat,prevent beriberi, beautiful body & thin leg.

HOW TO WEAR Please put the pantyhose inside out to wear properly. Hand wash at first before wear to keep it more durable. Hand wash in cold water, lay flat to dry. Do not iron and bleach.

The Packaging: as I took these away with me, I didn’t bring the second pair to take that picture of how I first received them. They are identical pairs let me just say.

The front and back show 2 different models wearing 2 different colours in this make, so it confused me a little to begin with until I got inside. You will find these are double wrapped; 1 on the outer packaging and 1 when you get in under the card – the tights are in their own packaging. This is probably to preserve the quality of them.

These come flat folded and wrapped around plain card.

Getting Them On: so it stated on the website to turn them inside out before wear – I did not do this and just went straight for it. Whoops…

Anyways these do get tighter the further you scrunch them down, so do keep that in mind when you’re gonna get them up the legs. These were fine going over the anklets and up the legs. I did make the mistake of creaming my legs before I got these on, so please do excuse any lined marks near the thighs (if you see any) as that will be my little mishap!

On The Legs: well by the amount of images below, I can happily say that these were such a fun pair to be in and really worked for me!

Let me start off with the colour; it is one that is closely matched to my skin and gave me such a glowing tan look on the legs when you compare it to my arms. I loved how natural looking they are, like you’re not wearing any from far! I thought these were the perfect colour! I would love to see how these would look in black.

The quality of them are fantastic; I had no rips or snags at all, and even though I creamed my legs and made little wet lines on the thighs, it dried right up without leaving any residue or markings on the thighs like normal tights would do. I thought these were a fab pair!

The fit of them are true to size and I would have had a better glide up the legs if I didn’t cream before putting them straight on. I felt there was enough stretch in these, and I would hope there is plenty for slightly larger individuals as these are supposed to be a one size pair.

The feel of them are super soft and so smooth; you can just glide your legs right off one another wearing these.

I cannot express how much I loved being in this pair!

The Toes & Ankle: as you can see below, my nail colour only peers through slightly. This shows you how thick it is around the feet. You wouldn’t think it from far, but when you look for little details, this is where you can really tell.

I still had enough room for my toes to wiggle about, but I would recommend shorter nails in these as it is quite fitted around the toes and feet so you don’t want your nails causing you pain in these.

Around the ankles, you won’t spot any wrinkles as these are so thick and fitted!

The Waistband: now I didn’t manage to get any waistband shots as we was running out of time. But the waistband is damn good but also sits super high. It went past the belly button on me and sat inches away from my bralet! So I had to fold these down and keep them in place the whole time wearing my outfit unfortunately. This wouldn’t have been an issue with any other outfit, but as I was showing off my midriff, it just didn’t look right!

The band as you can see below is slim and pretty tight to begin with. This does loosen up slightly but not much, so you may want to stretch it out a few times before you get them on if this is gonna be an issue for you. It worked for me as I folded mine over and I needed them to be tight to stay in place, otherwise I would definitely have stretched them out a little.

These hold up the tights super well let me add, and they did not let me down once during the day!

They also have a gusset to them, which you may be able to see near the bottom which is stitched into the tights and fits like a dream against the skin. It doesn’t irritate at all, so you can wear with or without underwear.

My Thoughts?

These are so good for what you get. If you’re after a nice thick pair of glossy tights, these are the ones I would recommend. I loved being in mine, and especially in this gorgeous tan colour!

RICHTOER 70D Shaping Shiny Tights Here we go with some glam for my birthday blog! This was supposed to be scheduled for Wednesday as the outfit I did want to wear today just wasn't cutting it so I opted for this one to be posted today instead!

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thisweekingundamwing · 5 years

Text

TWIGW RoundUp (August 11th - 17th)

Greetings Everyone! Here’s your roundup of contributions for this week. Check out their stuff and show them some love!😊💖

~Mod TB

Fanfiction:

@amberlyinviolet, Knife in Hand (Ch. 31) / Ch. 32 / Ch. 33

Rating: Explicit

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell

Characters: Trowa Barton, Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Zechs Merquise, Chang Wufei, Relena Peacecraft, Quatre Raberba Winner, Dorothy Catalonia, Howard (Gundam Wing), Original Characters

Additional Tags: Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Consent Issues, Organized Crime, Assassination, child trafficking, Past Abuse, Federal Agents, Abuse of Power, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Gender Issues

Summary: When Duo learns there's a hit out on him, he turns to the only person in Chicago he believes capable of helping him. But will the cost of the Broker's help be too high?

@anaranesindanarie, The Life of Nanashi: Who am I? (Ch. 1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell

Characters: Trowa Barton, Original Trowa Barton, Doktor S (Gundam Wing), Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Catherine Bloom, Howard (Gundam Wing)

Additional Tags: Angst, Searching, Trying to find oneself, Names, Belonging

Summary: All Nanashi has ever wanted is to belong. Believing a name is what he is missing, he tightly grasps the first one he is given.

Earth Bound (Ch. 2)

Rating: Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton/Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Chang Wufei, Heero Yuy, Catherine Bloom

Additional Tags: Supernatural - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Fantasy, Smut, Angst, not sorry

Summary: Trapped in a human body, Duo Maxwell must uncover a way to unblock his powers before he finds everything ripped from him again. Who will pay the price? What will Duo decide? For @fadedsepiascribbles

@bailong05, All the King’s Horses (Ch. 7)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandoms: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon), Gundam Wing

Relationships: Jack Spicer/Chase Young, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Jack Spicer, Chase Young (Xiaolin Showdown), Chang Wufei

Additional Tags: fem!Jack, mentions of physical abuse, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Harassment, Panic Attacks, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Mentions of War, Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Healing, Crossover

Summary: Chase and Wufei's relationship seems to be better now, but what about Chase and Jack's?

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, The Bodyguard Ch. 13 / Ch. 14 / Ch. 15 / Ch. 16 / Ch. 17

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Heero Yuy/Reader (You)

Characters: Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Violence, Mild Sexual Content

Summary: When death threats start to get serious, Preventer sends an Agent to protect you. But this man might be more dangerous to you than any death threat. HeeroxReader.

Forgive and Forget (Ch. 2)

Rating: Explicit

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Reader

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Sally Po

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Angst, Violence, Lemon, Reader-Insert

Summary: You’d infiltrate Preventer and expose that fact that it employed and protected terrorists. But that mission proves to be quite a challenge, all information regarding personnel carefully guarded. And the challenge becomes even greater when you meet Special Agent Duo Maxwell. He is pretty much the man of your dreams, all devilish charm, good looks, and bravado. And he kisses like the Devil. You are swept under and recklessly pursue and affair with him. But there is still your double agenda, and that is bound to make everything come crashing down around you. Especially when you find out that Duo is not exactly the man he said he was… DuoxReader

The Dream is Still Alive (Ch. 2)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Wufei Chang/Reader, Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy

Characters: Wufei Chang, Reader, Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft, Duo Maxwell, Lady Une

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Angst, Lemon, Lime, Reader-Insert, Violence

Summary: Three years ago, your feelings for him had cost you your job at Preventer. On top of that you gained his contempt. When an old enemy you helped putting behind bars escapes prison, your paths cross again. Forced under his protection, your old feelings for him resurface but you are determined not to get hurt again. But the spark is back, and there are no rules and regulations to hold you back this time. And maybe, just maybe, he might be willing to give in as well. WufeixReader

What’s going on Fanfiction wise (6)

Doii, Precogmare (Ch. 8) / Ch. 9

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei/Sally Po

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Chang Wufei, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Get Together, Mission Gone Wrong

Summary: A mission gone wrong shows Duo the future that awaits them. Could he stop it on time? Can he protect Relena and the other pilots while keeping his secrets hidden? *Wrote it ages ago, never published it. A lot of cursing and references to violence, death, blood and suicide. It's a Heero and Duo get together, background 03x04 and 05xS*

@duointherain, Beneath: Cornflakes (Ch. 3)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi, Other

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Mareen Darlian, Relena Peacecraft, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner

Summary: Relena’s mom takes them shopping.

Beneath: Western Civ 101

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Summary: This is just fluff. We had an evacuation at my job, so Duo gets one at his. Just Heero being a good and loving husband.

Beneath: Cornflakes: The New Kid (Ch. 1)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Relena Peacecraft, Maureen Darlian, Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: School, Mental Health Issues

Summary: Duo goes back to school, to real school, not like hiding, but really back to school... The school by the lake, the one he and Relena nearly blew up with the elephant toothpaste.

@helmistress, The Legend of Shinigami (mini announcement - mun stuff)

@janaverse, Stickies From Heero (Part 12)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Heero Yuy & Duo Maxwell, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, 1+2+1, 1x2x1 - Relationship

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Additional Tags: Get Together, Friendship, Eventual Sap, Eventual Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of Trowa ⋆ Quatre ⋆ Wufei ⋆ Relena ⋆ Sally - for now

Summary: heero and duo are in their mid-20's and are sharing a house. they are both working as preventers, but are not on the same work schedule. duo initiated this unique form of communication and heero has fully embraced it. [ these are images of the actual notes that heero leaves for duo on their refrigerator. ]

@ladyunebarton, The fundamentals of caring (Ch. 11)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, OC - Character, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, parenting, Adoption, Kid Fic, Adopted Children, Childhood Memories, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, First Time

Summary: After a fire on an Orphanage left three kids without a home. Heero and Duo decide to take them into their own for the mean time. But this decision will make them reconsider where they are and what they want from life.

luvsanime02, Moments

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Character: Hilde Schbeiker

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern SettingIntrospectionMild Languagebad weekCocktail Friday

Summary: Hilde isn’t sure if this party is the best decision that she’s ever made.

Skarla, Send in the Clowns (Ch. 7)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Gundam Wing

Characters: Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Jane Foster (Marvel), Darcy Lewis, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton

Additional Tags: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Parallel Universes, birthday present fic, Post CATWS

Summary: Clint Barton had a secret, one that he had been carrying for so long that it didn’t even really seem like a secret anymore. It was just another thing in the long list of things that he didn’t talk about, along with his time in Korea or that mission in Budapest. The trouble was, now that Shield was in tatters with every third agent loyal to Hydra and being hunted like the rats that they were, his helpful support system had evaporated along with his second favourite bow and his salary. For Scarly13.

@terrablaze514, Fic inspo / Cat adoption video ( @seitou @softnocturne @gundayo )

Shampoo & Conditioner - Snippet Saturday

Rating: T (for pending violence, group discord)

Pairings: 3x4 (implied), 4x5 (if you squint)

Summary: All Hail the Pineapple Express! A blessing and a curse… [preview of Ch. 3]

@thehiddenbaroness, Resurrecting the Viper (Ch. 31)

Rating: Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen

Fandoms: 機動戦士ガンダム鉄血のオルフェンズ | Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans, Gundam Wing

Characters: Orga Itsuka, Eugene Sevenstark, Mikazuki Augus, Merribit Stapleton, Norba Shino, Akihiro Altland, McGillis Fareed, Original Female Character(s), Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Naze Turbine

Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, Crossover of a kind, Science Fiction, Cryogenics, Revenge, Drama, Political Intrigue, Canon Compliant

Summary: Following a routine visit to Vingolf, Orga, Mikazuki and Merribit are surprised by the sudden appearance of a practically naked, injured woman. Although Artima seems to have full recollection of who she is, she does not seem to understand the outside world. Against Orga's better judgment, the Isaribi is soon entangled in Artima's quest to find and destroy her old mobile suit - and discover both she and it are relics from over three hundred years ago that could hold the key to Tekkadan's future.

Fanart:

@babygray-dam, Duo Maxwell

@bluesquishylemon, Title: No Name

Source: Gundam Wing; character Trowa Barton

Media: Colored versions marker on 8.5x11 computer paper, line drawing pen on 14x17 Bristol 6-27-17; computer corrections 8-11-19

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any character associated; I also do not earn any financial compensation for this fanart.

Request: Please credit this artist for this work when reposting - thanks!

@duointherain, Duo Maxwell

@elfbingo, Gundam Wing pilots representing Iron-Blooded Orphans (forwarded by @disturbed02girl )

@fenorange, Gundam SEED/Wing Crossover

@gundayo, Trowa & Quatre - Inside Jokes

@gundayum, Heero and Quatre (Muppets spoof) | Relena and Heero (Muppets spoof #2) | Duo & Wufei (Muppets spoof #3) | Trowaupagus |Duo and his daughter (AU)

kacfrog711, Duo at gunpoint - FIFTEEN 2011 (forwarded by @disturbed02girl )

@kenrik, Heero x Relena

***Please don’t remove artist credit, nor repost without permission.

Photosets/Screenshots/GIFs:

@animethingsandstuff, Heero Yuy

@capyper-land, Relena Darlian (Frozen Teardrop)

@gundamfight, Gundam Cross War

@its-more-than-just-a-fantasy, Duo Maxwell

Quotes:

MoodBoards/Aesthetics:

@janaverse, 1x2x1 sticker

@rx-79bluedestiny, Build kit boxes

Videos/AMVs:

@eostreofthedawn, MSA:GW - Sowing Discord (by Operation Meatier via YouTube)

@softnocturne, Just Communication 2015 Live (archived by ANime++) | White Reflection by Two-Mix (Official Music Video)

Wen, Just Communication (cover) - forwarded by @softnocturne

Headcanons:

@sweetgoufbrah, Trowa running looks like…

@terrablaze514, A Crazy Sleepover (Freedom Fighters AU)

Memes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, Episode 2

Gunpla:

@christianmswanson, Tallgeese ii | Wing Zero

@gundayum, Mini Deathscythe (so adorable!) #1 (#2 here) | Wing Zero (2) (3)

Calendar Events:

@gundam-wing-bingo, Gundam Wingo is a GO! Sign up for your card here (and ensure your blog’s submissions box is open).

@gundamzine, Rhythm Generation: Shooting Stars

Mod Rounds / FAQ / The Measure of a Year (Bonus details, forwarded by @lemontrash )/ Schedule

@zineapps @zine-scene @zinefeed @zinewatch @zinesubmissions @fandomzines @zinefans

@gwcocktailfriday, Cocktail Friday (due August 23rd, between 3pm - 5pm in your timezone)

@thisweekingundamevents, Mini Bang: Unorthodox Undercover Work!

^ Mini Bang Rules / FAQ / Dates to remember ^

1st Check-in: August 17th (due August 24th). This check-in is for Writers.

All participants are encouraged to contact @helmistress in case of dropouts, Beta Reader changes, etc.

@seasons-of-gundamwing thanks all who participated in “Summer of Zechs 2019” this year! Links to fanworks are being posted.

#twigw #this week in gundam wing #weekly roundup #gundam wing #mobile suit gundam wing #gundam wing fanart #gundam wing fanfiction #gunpla

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hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall · 5 years

Text

The Smile - Chapter 1/7

APairing: Loki x OFC

Summary of the story: She was a mutant with healing powers. Avengers were her family and she did all she could to protect them. She always tried to see the good in others. The smile. Beautiful and unique one was something she noticed in Loki and fell in love with. But not every love story ends the same way, and not every prince comes on his white horse and the story ends with a happy ending... Or maybe?

Story Warnings: Angst, a bit of violence, psychological issues like low self-esteem, depression, anxiety; swearing, eventual fluff and smut - maybe.

Summer of the chapter: The relationship between Loki and Anna is not good. As much as the girl tries her best to befriend him, he seems to hate her. So she decides to bake him a cake for his birthday. To make the best one, she makes some tests on the cupcakes.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, A bit of violence, psychological issues.

A/N: This is my first Loki story I have written, so I am quite excited. I planned to post it as a two-chapter story, each with around 10 000 words but assumed it was too much, so I will divide into 7 parts. I portray Loki as a bit of a dick here, so I hope you will bear with me and despite all this will enjoy reading this story, as much as I do writing it :)

If you want to be tagged to this or any other of my stories, please send me an ask <3

Words: 3815

Love, friendship, kindness. It was not something Loki was familiar with, not something he has ever felt to anyone except his own mother. After her death, the God of Mischief decided to lock his heart and never let anyone get close to him. Especially now, when his stupid brother decided to make everything right and brought him back to Earth and made him join the Avengers. Thor's stupid belief that Loki can change was always laughable for him but here he was, in compound with all the people he tried to kill all the years ago. All except one.

He gazed at the girl in the kitchen who was happily humming under the nose to some song, blasting in her headphones. No worries in her. The small smile crept on her lips when she was slowly decorating the cupcakes she just made. Her free personality annoyed Loki. She was nice, kind-hearted and smiley. She was like a dame, happier version of this damn Captain America.

What annoyed him, even more, was the fact, that she wasn't even a part of the Avengers. With her mutant powers, she was nothing but a mere healer. An invisible person, who became needed only occasionally. She was so weak, that she always lost conscious and energy whenever she healed them. Yet she was always happy to help.

No one from this damn superhero group knew about her weakness. She always left the room before they would be able to see her fainting on the bed or falling asleep on the desk. They called her a doctor, but he saw her as nothing but an annoyance. A pathetic Midgardian that was too stupid to know her own limits. Too stupid to stay away from him.

He was annoyed with her stubbornness when it came to be healing and helping the team, but what he hated the most about her was this smile and look she was always giving him. Whether as a welcome, goodbye or just whenever he was unlucky enough to end up in the same room as her.

He grimaced not understanding why his brother was so fond of her. She was nothing special, not even to look at. Being on Earth for a while now he has seen some really beautiful women. Romanoff and Maximoff could be added to that list. But her? Her body was not as slim as the other women on the team. He could see some of the body folds whenever she decided to put a T-shirt that was more into the body. No. She wasn't fat, maybe just more rounded than the other two. Her face was decent. Yes, this would be a word he would use to describe it. A nose that was a bit bigger than at other girls, cheeks a little plum, making her face more round than oval, something he found himself to be attracted to. Her blonde hair was semi-long, normally kept in a ponytail or a half-bun. She never wore makeup. The only thing he was mesmerised by her were her eyes. Green, not too big, not too small. He was mad that those beautiful eyes could not be accompanied by a better-looking face.

He huffed with annoyance when he caught her eyes and her smiling at him in a friendly way. He was a God of Mischief, the same one who once attacked earth and NY. Was she really that stupid to not fear him? Or her idiotic run so deep that she just didn't care?

Without a word he got up from the couch, and without a word he left the room, not wanting to waste any more time to look at the woman he despised.

Baking and cooking were always something she enjoyed. Being better at the latter one, she was always super satisfied whenever her baking came out as she wanted it to. And now it looked like it would actually work. She smiled, putting the decoration on one of the cupcakes. She wished the cake she was planning on making in few days from today would come out as pretty as this.

She blushed thinking of the occasion. She was able to gather the information about Loki's birthday from Thor and was now making a mini version of the cake that she planning to make for him. What Thor said, Loki hadn't had a cake since was a kid. Their mother used to make sure they have one when they were kids, but when they grew up, the birthdays were not as celebrated anymore. Too much hassle.

But she didn't think about it as a hassle. Loki has been here for half a year now. He seemed to be getting a bit closer to the Avengers, but she felt like he was always keeping a cold, almost freezing distance from her. Therefore, she decided to make him a birthday cake as a warm-up.

She was quite pathetic she knew. There she was, having a stupid crush on a man who didn't even want to spend time with her in the same room. But she saw him not as a God of Mischief, but as Loki. A part of a team. She always wondered if there would ever be a day, she would bring the beautiful smile she only saw a couple of time, to his lips. She hoped that once she would be able to erase this anger and intimidated hatred from his eyes. And one day, she would be able to just sit with him on a coach and have a semi-formal conversion with him, just like Bucky and Sam had.

Both boys seemed to become quite good friends with God, to everyone's surprise. Maybe because they were not a part of the NY fight. But to her happiness, she has noticed that the rest of the team did not seem to be so much against him anymore. She was happy for him. Even if he hated her.

The smile disappeared from her lips when he stood up abruptly and sending her an annoyed look, left the room.

Who was she kidding? He hated her. And she knew that. She wasn't stupid. Because of her anti-social behaviour, anxiety and low self-esteem, she learned to read people better than anyone else. Keeping to herself, away from the spotlight, hidden in the shadow, it was the only thing she could do.

She wasn't blind as well. She wasn't a goddess and being in the same room as Natasha and Wanda did not help her with her low self-esteem. But she did not expect Loki to fall in love with her. All she wanted was for him to just look at her without this hatred and disgust in his eyes.

She bit her lip, to stop the tears from flowing. For the Avengers, she was this strong, kind-hearted healer. But deep down inside she was weak, she was evaluating her every move, every word ever spoken to anyone. And she has swooped herself to sleep with crying more times than it was humanly possible. But in the morning, she raised her face with cold water and smiled at all the mainland again. They were the only people she dared to call friends in her life, and she feared that if she would ever show them her weakness, they would just turn their backs at her. Because she was their healer. She needed to be strong and if not for herself then for them.

"This looks amazing, doll!" She jumped surprised to hear a low, husky voice behind her. She turned around and put her most beautiful fake smile to the man.

"If you wait 3 more minutes till it cools down, you can have one, Bucky" the man smiled and leaned behind not leaving his eyes off the girl.

"Is this the sample for Loki's birthday gift?" She blushed and nodded. Bucky was not the only one who knew about her little, stupid crush. It seemed like Loki himself was the only who didn't know. And maybe Thor... but well, she was not surprised by this. Thor was... just Thor. "It does look lovely" she beamed at him from complement and took one of the mini-cakes and handed it to him.

She felt pride rising inside her when the ex-Winter Soldier hummed in appreciation, taking another bigger bite.

"If your heart did not belong to this idiot, I would have already courted you!" She laughed at his remark, happy to see him enjoy your cooking as much.

"Here. You can take mine as well", he raised his brow at you not sure if you were serious. "I don't feel like having anything sweet today." If you were being serious you were trying to lose some of that fat from your stomach. You stopped eating so much, gave up on sweets and started to wake up early (even before Steve) to go for a run. You already lost a couple of kilos and you were finally able to not look at yourself with disgrace. It has been more than a month. No one, of course, noticed, as you were wearing baggy clothes. You decided to show off when you would finally come to the body image you liked. You were forcing yourself to believe that it was for your own self-esteem, but deep down you knew that you did that, hoping Loki would enjoy your new image... "I'm going to leave the others in the fridge. Make sure not to eat them all. There is one for everyone." She smiled and took one of the cupcakes into the plate.

"And this one is for?" Barnes asked, smirking at the girl mischievously.

"Don't ask questions you know the answer to, Sergeant" she winked at him playfully and left the kitchen, heading straight to HIS room.

She was so nervous when she knocked at his doors. Almost as nervous as the time she asked a guy out to the prom. It did not end well. He laughed at her face and closed the doors in front of her face. This time she hoped it will end better.

With a plate in the hand, she sent him a big smile when he appeared on the other side of the doors. He looked taken back by her little visit but didn't say anything, just kept staring at her.

"I made some cupcakes if you'd like to try?" She was telling herself that the only reason she came here was that she needed to know whether he liked it or not. There was still some time to change something. Some more days to practice something new.

He looked at the plate and frowned, and then his eyes travelled back at her. Did he look... annoyed?

"I'm not hungry" he stated lazily, his voice full of venom, which made her shrink inside.

"That's... that's ok, you can always eat it later. Just let me know what you think ok?" She answered happily, which made him even angrier.

"I said I'm not hungry!" He raised his voice just a bit, sending a shiver down her spine. "Plus, I'm not a fan of sweets! You can just eat it yourself!" And with that he closed the doors right near her nose, making the plate with the cupcake fall right onto the floor.

She just stood there looking down at the mess. Of course, the plate needed to fall upside down so the whole cupcake was now on the carpet... she bit her lip hard, feeling the tears creeping in her eyes. She crouched and started to clean that up before anyone would be able to see her pathetic state. Of course, with her luck in life, she tensed hearing a familiar, beaming voice behind her.

"Hello, little one!" Thor said happily. "I tried the cupcakes. Wonderful job" he then got a bit quiet and a small smirk appeared on his lips. "I'm sure my brother will find them enduring", she swallowed hard and got up with the plate. "What happened, little one?" He asked with concern in his eyes. He looked at the plate with widened eyes.

"It's ok I dropped the cupcake by accident" she answered smiling to him, hoping he would not be able to read through the fake gesture. "Plus, I don't think Loki would be happy to have a cake... he told me he hates sweets." You sent him one more smile and walked away to the elevator to ride to your room. You needed to hide, from Thor, Loki, from everyone.

It was like high school once again. No, it was much worse now. Because you just realised that the fear you had in your head has become true. He really hated you. The man you were falling in love with, hated her.

Thor was looking at her back, and he was sure he saw tears in her beautiful eyes. Loki hated sweets. Since when?

He knocked on the door and waited for his brother to answer. He had some questions he needed answers and his brother seemed like the man to ask.

"I told you I don't want your..." Loki stopped seeing his brother on the other side. "Oh, it's only you."

"Since when do you not like sweets?" Thor asked with a raised brow and arms crossed at his chest. His younger brother's eye twitched in an annoyance.

"Did she tattle on me?" He asked sarcastically, leaning on the door frame, the mischievous smirk on his lips. The blonde looked at his younger brother and sighed.

"Do you not like the little one?" Loki frowned seeing this stupid frown on his brother's face. Despite the strength and the great position, he has always been an idiot, which annoyed Loki even more.

"What not to like? The annoying smile or the pathetic will to be seen stronger than she really was?" He answered with irritation, clenching his jaw. "She annoys me, truly. I do not see what you the Avengers see in her. She is a pitiful example of everything that is wrong with Midgardians." He snorted unamused, seeing the anger in his brother's face. "She's always around, sending these exasperated smiles. Her body is too weak for her to use the power, but she's too proud to show you guys, that she is indeed just a mere, wretched human, so she pushes herself to the limits until she loses her conscious. Really moving! I can really see why you love this kind so much, brother of mine!" The smirk never left Loki's lips, until Thor threw a punch to his face, sending him to the floor.

"I have brought you here with me, to this place I call home. I brought you here, because I believed you can change, and we can be a family once again. I was so happy seeing you opening up to the Avengers... I was pleased to see the little one taking an interest in you. Do you know why?" He took a dangerous step towards, the now standing, God. "She has saved our lives more times than I can count. And I am not only talking about her powers. She sees us all. The way we are, the way no one else sees us." His voice was low and filled with Venom. Something Loki has found to be used by his older brother only towards his enemies. "She was the first one to see Steve and not Captain America. She was the one who spent nights to learn the sign language for Barton. She went through all the struggle to get Natasha to see the ballet. Something she hated and loved at the same time. She was also the one, that helped Tony and Bucky to communicate. She was the one that stayed near Barnes' bed, whenever he had nightmares. She was also the one that made me believe that I do not have to be what everyone expects of me. That I am who I am, and I should not live up to anyone's expectations. And you know what else?" He pushed the man into the wall, hovering over him with anger in his eyes. "She was the one that talked me into bringing you here. The one to talk to the Avengers saying that everyone deserved a second chance. You are here because everyone owes her something. You are here because she believed in you when no – one did. Even me." Thor took a step away and turned to the doors, his fists clenched in a fit of anger. "You are wrong about her, Loki. She is not weak. She is the strongest person I know!"

Her encounter with Loki has left her in a state of complete anxiety. Her low self-esteem was kicked even more, and she wasn't sure anymore what she hated about herself more. The way she looked, her voice, her thoughts, the smile, or the cooking that seemed to not bring her any more happiness. It has become some kind of a routine, that she didn't enjoy. There was nothing she truly enjoyed anymore. It wasn't just a case of a stupid heartbreak. She started to see herself with Loki's eyes. She once again started to analyse her every word, every move, which led her to speak less and less, and only answering when she was asked a question.

Her running has become a sad routine as well. She has become more aware of anyone seeing her, so she made sure that she woke up early enough to not see Steve on his way to his morning jogs.

She worked more, staying overnight more times than it was necessary. She found herself taking extra hours almost every day, only not to go home.

Home. This word seemed so distant. She never had one. Her mother gave her away to the shelter when she was just an infant. She was moving from a family to a family. Never staying with anyone longer than a year. When she finished 18 years old S.H.I.E.L.D found her and gave her a proposition to become a medic. They paid for her medic school and gave her new life. But she did not feel it like home. Until she met the Avengers. This misfunctioning group of superheroes seemed to be as lost in this world as she was, and it made her become close to all of them. She enjoyed their every smile and conversations. She felt needed, she felt like... Loved in a most platonic, but beautiful way. She felt like home.

When Thor told her about his brother being locked up in the cell once again, she wanted to make things right for him. When proposed to bring him in and make him a part of the Avengers, she did not know this would become one of the most painful decisions in her life.

His sarcastic humour, the smirking and witty comments made her always smile under her nose. She always wanted to have the same confidence as he had. The spark in his eyes, whenever he defeated someone with his comeback, made her feel a bit warmer inside. A bit stronger. With the time she was able to hear his soft laugh and occasional chuckles and she found herself hoping one day it will be her that would bring this out of him.

But this has never happened. For a reason, she did not understand why he omitted her. He looked at her with a disgrace, hate and disgust. He left the room whenever she walked in. Scoffed whenever she smiled or said good morning. His stories always stopped whenever he caught her listening. For all the months she thought that she was just seeing things. But she finally grew up and realised that she must stop kidding herself. The man hated her. And she was stupid enough to fall in love with him.

He made her feel not only worthless but made her doubt whether the home she believed she had, was real. It was only now, she understood that there was no way or a good reason for people like the Avengers to hang up with her. She was just one of the agents. Occasionally healing their scars, after they came back from saving the world. She was just one of many. So, she has decided to hide in the shadows again, and become as invincible as she could.

And here she was, doing paperwork on a Saturday night. As pathetic as it was, she did not even feel like going back home, to the lonely and cold bed. She felt alone and unwanted again. The same odd feeling she had whenever personnel from the shelter told her about another month, she needed to spend there, because no one wanted her.

Loki hasn't seen the girl in their level since their cupcake encounter. It looked like she just disappeared from the compound. There was still the smell of the dinner or the cookies and other bakeries, but she was nowhere to be seen. She hasn't even encountered any of the Avengers dinners, that Stark normally invited her to. She always used an excuse of 'filled with too much paperwork' whenever anyone from the team tried to get her to join.

There was once a time in a cafeteria that he noticed her. She had her headphones on and was waiting to pay for an awfully looking salad. He remembered her always joking about 'not being a horse to eat a salad'. And there she was with something that probably should not even be called one. He did not understand how someone who cooked so well for the team, could be eating something so disgraceful.

There was something different about her as well. She was always smiling at the workers or trying to engage in the small talk. But not that day. She was quite sending the woman over the counter a fake smile. He grimaced at the black bags under her eyes, which did not have the light they always had. Her oval face has lost some weight and looked a bit hollow. She looked unhealthy and very unhappy.

He didn't understand why he kept his eyes on her for so long, but something twitched at him when she looked around and met his eyes. It was just for a couple of seconds. He expected a smile, and maybe a wave of a hand, but she lowered her head, in an almost bow, and without any other gestured, left the cafeteria. Probably coming back to her work.

The words spoken by his older brother were still stuck to him. Would he still believe that this girl was strong if he saw her today? He scoffed annoyed and left the place as well, feeling more and more eyes on his figure. He was still, after all the topic of discussion.

Master list

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