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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Follow you - Chris Evans smut

The one where Chris becomes your roomate and finds out he has a domesticity kink... and more

Warnings: Smut, breeding kink, domesticity kink, friends to lovers, rommates au, pandemic mention, hair-pulling kink, daddy kink, cockwarming, kind of allusion to an age gap, but can be read as reader being into teasing chris

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thanks to @mollygetssherlockcoffee for reading this over and helping me make it better! You’re the sweetest person ever! this is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them. Hope you guys like it!

Chris’ P.O.V.

“C’mon, sweetheart,” I’d been trying to convince her to close her laptop for the last two hours, unfortunately without any luck. She just glanced at me before returning to her document, and I groaned as I left the living room in search of what I knew we needed.

“Close the laptop and I’ll give you a sip.” This time when she looked up, she found me holding a bottle of my most expensive whiskey, the one she’d been dying to try ever since she first got invited to my place.

It was a tense moment of evaluation while she took in my offer and her workload, her head turning from her computer to me and then back to the device again, and I found himself growing anxious because of how desperately I wanted her company that night.

“Please?” I tried to convince her, even going so far as to pout - which at least earned me a giggle. I considered it a win, especially with the way it made my chest warm up. “C’mon, we deserve it! After the week we had?”

She frowned when she thought back on the stresses we had confided in each other for the last couple of days, and I watched with glee when she slowly closed her laptop, prompting me to wave my arms around in victory. “We?” She teased, getting up to stand before me with her arms crossed in front of her body, making me laugh.

“Alright, so maybe just you.” I couldn’t really deny that my work “problems” paled in comparison to hers. “Listen, I’m only trying to help.” She narrowed her eyes at me, reaching out for the bottle and unscrewing it before taking the sip I’d promised.

“Shit, this really is good.” A smug smile took over my face as I wrapped my arms around her, walking us back to the couch before making us fall over it.

“Only the best for you, babe.” I watched her roll her eyes at the pet name, snickering at how it affected her. I knew it made her giddy and she hated it, it’s why I insisted on doing it - or so I told myself.

Something deep inside of me whispered differently, though. I tried to ignore it. She was my best friend and we were going to be living together for the foreseeable future. No one knew when this pandemic would let up.

And lord knows that nothing positive had ever come out of my investments in romantic relationships. So every rational thought in my mind was begging me not to overcomplicate this. I couldn’t stand to lose her friendship, anyway. That’s why I had invited her to spend lockdown with me - my need to know she was okay, and be able to have her around whenever I needed to vent.

She was the only one outside my family who got my anxiety well enough to help me work through it when I was feeling bad, and she had even been able to prevent me from having panic attacks more than once.

I just couldn’t imagine going through this with anyone other than her. I simply hadn’t anticipated how fucking horny this period of forced sexual privation would make me, and I never expected her to become a willing victim to my needs.

But boy, once the liquor hit and she ended up over my lap, shivering as she rode my thigh without a care in the world, was I glad that she did.

“Is this what you like?” I asked, looking up at her with my mouth hanging open, unbelieving of how fucking sexy she looked as she used my body for her pleasure. I didn’t even care that my cock was straining against my jeans, begging me to move her on top of it. As long as I could keep enjoying the show, being a part of it, I was satisfied.

“I wanna learn it,” I pressed, moving my hands to hold her ass, squeezing it the way I’d always wanted to do but never allowed myself to dream about. “I wanna learn how to please you.” She made me feel something I hadn’t felt before, in any of my past relationships. There was attraction, of course, but there was also this deep, familiar feeling that made me feel at home. It made me feel safe, and with the help of alcohol, I was desperate to explore it.

“Ugh,” she groaned, letting her head fall back, drawing my attention to her breasts, the way they bounced in front of my eyes, unfortunately still covered. My mouth watered at the sight of it, wanting nothing much than to strip her bare and wrap my lips around one of her nipples.

“Don’t say stuff like that, Evans.” The comment threw me off, making me frown as I took a hold of the hair on the back of her head and yanked her to me, devouring her lips. They were soft - so much softer than I’d ever allowed myself to imagine.

“Why not?” I panted against her mouth once I was forced to separate from her taste of whiskey to search for some oxygen. She kept moving, her eyes hazy and glossed over, and it sent a pang of lust straight down my body when I realized it wasn’t completely due to the drinks we shared. There was also desire in there.

“You want to learn?” She asked, hands bunching up my shirt as she used her hold to grind against me faster. “Then fuck me, Chris.” She molded her body to mine, engulfing my lips once more as I laid her down on the couch, excited to have her underneath me - excited to see her naked body, explore it, get to know every little thing that made her tick.

I knew it would be a moment I’d forever remember, regardless of the amount of bourbon in my blood. I just never expected it to become something I was so eager to relive over and over and over again.

It was supposed to be a one time thing. When I woke up in the morning, I was ready to go back to being roommates. We were good at that. She was a morning person, by the time I woke up every morning, she already had breakfast ready for me, and then we’d go out to the backyard to let Dodger out together.

We’d sit and talk and then I’d go for a run - she’d have done her yoga already, while I was still asleep - I’d answer some e-mails, she’d work on her laptop by my side and the silence was just as comfortable as all of our late night conversations.

She’d sneak out to the kitchen and come back with a few sandwiches for our lunch, and then the rest of the day would go by with us doing whatever mundane task we had in mind, together even if we were doing separate things, and I didn’t feel suffocated.

I didn’t even run out of things to say. By the time dinner rolled around and I followed her back to the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes while she fixed us dinner - I wasn’t allowed to cook in my own stove, mostly because she was terrified of my food but hid it under the excuse of that one time when I started a fire - then we’d eat together, watch a movie together, talk until we fell asleep - always together.

I was shocked. It’d never been this way in any of my previous relationships. In fact, I was certain it was the reason why they had never worked. I’d given up on any realistic expectation of settling down precisely because of this: I just never expected to find anyone with whom a day-to-day life wouldn’t eventually grow boring.

It’d been three months and I still loved to wake up to her coffee. We still fell asleep every night side by side, too tired to move into different beds because we had laughed our asses off after skyping Scott.

And now that sex came into play in our relationship? I just knew there was no way I’d ever go back to being nothing but friends - or living in a place where she wasn’t the first person I saw when I woke up.

It sucked that it took a pandemic and a night of alcohol to make me realize that, but damn, was I grateful that I decided to open a bottle of whiskey that evening.

I kept waiting for the catch, the moment it would all go to shit, but it never came. Our lives resumed to how they used to be, only now I had this ongoing inner battle to not just bend her over the nearest piece of furniture when we were busy, and the ability to do exactly that whenever there was nothing else to do.

And for a while it was bliss. There wasn’t a nagging voice inside my head questioning this arrangement because it was theoretically perfect. I had a best friend, a roommate and a fuck buddy, all wrapped into one single person that I adored.

Life couldn’t possibly get better - until I realized that I wanted more. Talks of lockdown being over started and she had plans of going back to her place, of course, but I couldn’t stand the thought of being away from her.

I wanted to see my family too, but I wanted to take her with me. Introduce her to my mom, see her get along with my sisters. Witness how she’d be with my nephews and nieces - I knew how much she loved kids. And that’s when it hit me.

I’d given my heart to her. Somewhere between the morning coffees and afternoon runs, the nights where I’d rant about all of my silly problems and she actually listened to them - really listened, never making me feel bad about what could only be described as rich people problems.

All the innocent little gestures, and the not so innocent ones - when I discovered she was exactly the nasty slut I’d always dreamed of, the way she would randomly drop to her knees and suck me off, even while I was on the phone. Most times she didn’t even let me repay the favor. She just genuinely liked to blow me.

She also liked to play with me randomly, like when we were watching a movie and she mindlessly reached for my crotch, rubbing me until I got hard. It almost always ended in sex, and I just loved it.

I loved it, and I loved her, and the idea of her ever sharing this idyllic lifestyle with anyone else made me irrationally jealous.

And that’s how I knew it. I didn’t want to mess it up. But how could I not fuck this up?

Xxx

“Chris…” Her sweet voice called out to me, reaching my ears while I was hiding in my office, trying to get my thoughts in order so I wouldn’t just randomly blurt out what I was feeling for my best friend to my best friend.

To her credit, she didn’t try to force me to keep her company - but that only made me fall even deeper for her, leaving me a complete and utter mess while she went about her day as if nothing was wrong in the world.

“Yes?” I looked up to see her by the threshold, clearly reticent about invading my privacy. It made me smile, thinking back on all of the times my exes hadn’t been as understanding, even after I let them clearly know what I was needing.

“I made cupcakes, do you want me to bring you one?” The thought of her in the kitchen, baking a sweet treat just for me had my cock twitching in my pants. Biting my lips, I pushed away from my desk to finally get up and stretch my legs, taking advantage of the monitor to hide my hard-on.

“No, I’ll come eat them downstairs with you.” She smiled before leaving, and I soon trailed after her, walking into the kitchen to find the most delicious-looking little treats, just waiting to be devoured.

Much like her, I supposed.

I was reaching for one of them, already licking my lips in anticipation when something caught my eye, prompting me to raise my gaze and look at her again, but really look at her this time.

She was wearing an apron.

There was nothing inherently sexual about the damn thing, but the way she looked with it, going about her business in my kitchen like she owned the place… It just felt right, seeing her there.

And suddenly I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Y/N…” I started, leaving the cupcake back on the counter and brushing off the crumbs as I circled the kitchen island to go stand in front of her. She hummed before turning to meet me, smiling slightly to signal that she was listening to what I had to say.

But I didn’t know how to say it. So we just stood there, staring at each other until eventually her smile became a frown. “Chris, what’s going on?” I still couldn’t speak. Much to my absolute surprise though, she just sighed, wiping her hands on the apron while shaking her head, a knowing smile on her face.

“You’re stressed, aren’t you? You’ve been working so much, that’s why I thought the cupcakes would be a good idea,” she explained nodding towards the tray where her sweet treats laid. “They’re a reward and a break all wrapped in one delicious cake.”

The comment was like a punch to the stomach - or a scalding wave of desire rushing through my body, straight to my groin. The idea of her thinking about my needs and catering (quite literally) to them just did something to me, and I didn’t know how to explain it - I don’t think I understood it myself.

“But since they didn’t work…” she continued, blissfully unaware of the conundrum she had put me into. “I know something else that will definitely work.” And just like that, the woman dropped to her knees in front of me, reaching for my sweatpants before I could find a way to close the mouth that was hanging open.

“I guess I’ll grab a sweet treat for myself.” She looked so devious, small hand encircling my already pathetically engorged member, that all I could do was whisper an, “Oh, shit,” when she immediately wrapped her lips around it, starting to suck me off without any preamble.

My fingers were white as I held onto the counter behind me to keep myself up. She looked so good, staring up at me with her lips wrapped around my dick, I felt like I was about to blow already.

Why did she have to be such a fucking tease?

“Oh, God,” I moaned when she managed to engulf the entirety of my member inside her throat, the choking noises getting to my head. My hand instinctively laced with her hair, first to hold her lips close to my navel, then to pry her completely off of my member.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned once she was able to speak, surprise written all over her features while I was still staring down at her slightly teary face and trying to find my voice.

“I-I have a problem.” There. I said it. I had finally made some progress in my goal to let her know what was going through my head. Only instead of curiosity, what I got was a confused expression from the woman still holding my dick, her eyes darting from my own to the member throbbing between her fingers.

“No, you don’t!” It would have been funny if I wasn’t so fucking frustrated. Yanking her by the hair, I complained, “Not that kind of problem!” pulling her to the living room so I could throw her on the couch, trying to ignore her moans of pleasure in the process.

I’d figured out pretty early on that she had a pretty serious hair-pulling kink, and if my plans of sitting down and having a level-headed conversation were ever in motion, they surely went out of the window the second she pulled my body down to cover hers and adjusted my cock so it would easily fill her.

“Son of a…” I groaned, letting my head fall down against her chest as the little vixen gleefully giggled underneath me, legs wrapped around my torso as she tried to thrust up and tempt me to move.

“Just wait a second,” I managed to reason, but she just shook her head.

“Fuck away your problem, Chris. Use me. I want you to.” Motherfucker. I really couldn’t catch a break with her. Just as she started to make me move again, my hand instinctively wrapped around her neck, lightly squeezing it just enough to get her to shut up.

“I wanna start a family with you,” I finally spilled, looking deep into her eyes as I tried to ignore that I was still balls deep inside of her. Her eyes widened, and now her mouth was the one hanging open.

I couldn’t really relish in it because she looked absolutely delicious and she felt stupidly heavenly to my throbbing dick.

A few seconds went by without as much of a reaction from her and I was about to pull out - despite still being achingly hard - but her legs held me tighter, stopping my plans of leaving her tight haven.

“You know…” She started to speak, a little out of breath, catching my attention as I finally gathered the courage to look her in the eye again. “When I first met you, I thought you were the epitome of a fuckboy.”

The unexpected sentence had me snorting, and then I just couldn’t stop laughing. Finally pulling away from her, she fixed her hair when she sat up and I did the same, shaking my head slightly as I rubbed my eyes.

Our own relative nakedness - well… mine, she was wearing her usual dress with no underwear under the damn apron - didn’t affect anything when I pondered over her words, until I decided to break the silence.

“I mean… I think I was?” She chewed on her bottom lip as she took in my response, analyzing it, weighing its validity in that gorgeous head of hers. I was nervous, but she hadn’t blew me off yet. And quite honestly? I’d do anything for that little hope that was growing inside of me.

“What changed?” Was her question, so unexpected I couldn’t help but question, “Huh?”

“What made you change?” It wasn’t an unwelcome inquiry, especially when the response became clear to me, lighting up my brain and warming my chest, spreading all over my body until I had no choice but to voice it.

“I realized I could have a future with you.” My smile was vulnerable but honest, and in her eyes, I could see that she knew that. When she threw one leg over my lap, straddling my hips, I allowed myself to breathe deeply again, leaning on the soft cushion while taking a hold of her ass.

“So, how are we gonna do this?” She non-nonchalantly asked, slowly rubbing herself against my still half-hard member. I groaned when I realized the implication of her words, knowing that the meaning paired with the feeling of her wet lips dragging along my cock would get it back up in no time at all. “You wanna do me right now?”

The brashness of the question made my eyes light up, as weird as it may sound. In that moment, it became clear just how perfect for me she really was, giving me what I needed exactly in the way I didn’t know how to ask for it.

“See? This is why I’m in love with you.” She rolled her eyes at that, making me laugh. I’d anticipated the gesture, I knew it’d take her longer to say it, but it was alright. The fact that she was willing me to give me a child was more than enough proof of her feelings for me, if her entire behavior ever since she moved in wasn’t already.

“Shut up and fuck me, Evans.” Throwing her back against the couch, she yelped in surprise when I took off my shirt and slapped the inside of her thigh, assuming my usual position of hovering over her smaller frame.

“Spread your fucking legs, darling. I’m gonna fuck you real good.” The way she bit her lip as I slowly penetrated her again showed me just how excited the prospect got her, and as I started to make good on my promise, her moans told me just as much.

“Holy fuck,” she commented as I pounded her ruthlessly, weeks of frustration and the rush of anticipation getting the best of me, and I was glad for the feeling of her nails biting into my skin because otherwise, I’d probably run over the edge of not even caring about her own pleasure as I chased mine.

“You gonna cum inside of me, honey? Make me a mom? Finally fulfill your dream of becoming a daddy?” Her words detracted me from my task of sucking bruises on the skin that was now mine to bruise, mine. I threw my head back, yelling a, “fuck yes,” as my hips sped up, desperate to fill her up, but I was determined to get her to cum before me.

“Say it,” she ordered, small hand circling my throat as best as she could, a throwback to what I’d done only moments prior. It wasn’t enough to choke me, but it did catch my attention. “I wanna hear you say it.”

Tears escaped the corners of my eyes as I blinked, the intensity of the moment overwhelming in the best of ways. “God, you are such a fucking tease…” She chuckled underneath me, giving my throat a squeeze before she raised up on her elbows to kiss my jaw.

“Better get used to it… daddy.” And just like that, I realized that I had yet another kink I hadn’t known about before her. Or maybe it was just her, and I was obsessed with the damn woman, painfully turned on by every little thing that she did.

“I’m gonna cum deep inside your little pussy, sweetheart,” I finally gathered myself enough to do as she asked me to. “You’re gonna belong to me forever now. Give me kids, make me happy. How do you like that?”

The mischievous grin she gave me told me everything. “I love it.” I knew this was her way of saying what she couldn’t yet voice, and I’d take it. I’d take anything she gave me, any chance I got to love this wonderful woman.

We came together, both riding our highs in deep ecstasy. I moaned when I felt myself empty all of my seed inside of her, incredibly excited about the prospect of starting our future together right then.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” I cradled her face in my hands as I struggled to catch my breath, but she turned it to the side and pressed a kiss to my palm and I was breathless all over again. It was such a simple action, why did it get to me so much?

“You’re not too bad yourself, Chris.” I didn’t want to part with her warmth, so I just adjusted us on the sofa in a way that kept me inside of her, sighing contently as I realized I’d never have to sleep away from her again.

“I’m gonna stay right here all night.” I adjusted myself so I was resting my face on her boobs, perfectly happy to do just so, but by the tone of her voice, I knew she had a teasing smile when she called me an, “Old man.”

“And here I was, thinking you’d be able to go again.” Warmth filled my chest at the realization of just how badly she wanted me - just as much as I wanted her too. I was so damn ecstatic. Not even her pokes at my age would be able to affect me.

“Oh, darling… better get ready,” I warned as I adjusted myself to hover over her again, taking notice of the excited glint in her eyes, the way she bit her lip as she stared back at me. “I’m never gonna get enough of you.”

The next morning, I added a new kink to the list of random bits of information that were driving me slowly insane as I felt the overwhelming need to bend the woman that I now got to call ‘mine’ over the nearest piece of furniture and rail her until I had cummed deep inside her pussy: seeing her in my shirt while cooking breakfast.

Yeah, I was going to live a happy life by her side.

#my 2k challenge #chris evans smut #my fics #chris evans #smut #roommates au #friends to lovers #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans reader insert #chris evans reader inserts #RPF #chris evans fanfiction

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backtobackbakubabe · 3 years

Text

Speak Easy Part 3

Bakugo x Reader

Words: 4892

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together?

Words with 'this' is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

***********************************************************************

Dabi had laid you down gently in the back seat of his car, taking off his jacket to lay over you. You wanted to fall asleep you really did. But the consistent pain coming from your hip was enough to keep you awake, but not enough for you to pass out. You hugged the jacket around you that smelled like smoke and coffee.

You don’t know much time passed but eventually you were being pulled from the backseat. He picked you up bridal style and made his way to the house, “Look at you. We’re not even married, and you already have me carrying you over the threshold.”

When you didn’t react to his little joke he sighed, “Wow tough crowd, okay.”

He walked straight to the couch and put you down before immediately jogging to the kitchen to grab some first aid supplies… amongst other things.

He came back and sat on the table that was in front on the couch and maneuvered you so your injured hip was accessible to him. “Okay this is going to sting for a little bit, but I’m going to need you to stay still until I’m done.” Without any more warning then that he poured what smelled like vodka on the wound.

It stung like a bitch, causing you to dig your nails into the cushion of the couch and grit your teeth so hard you were surprised they didn’t crack.

He started to wipe it down with some kind of cloth. Cleaning all the dried blood and sweat from you. You were practically panting now trying to breathe through the sharp pain. “That’s it. Keep breathing. Good girl. I’m almost done.” He taped a bandage over it before pulling your hoodie back down. “There. Good as new.”

He helped you sit up a little so he could give you a glass of water, which you were incredibly thankful for. “Alright… so I have all the good stuff. Anything you could want really.” He pulled out several bottles of pills.

You didn’t know what was in those bottles, but you knew you didn’t want any. You’ve had enough drugged out days to last a lifetime. So as much as you knew it’d help with the pain, you didn’t want it. You just met Dabi less than twelve hours ago. You didn’t know what kind of bullshit he’d pull once you went under.

You shook your head no and pointed to the bottle of vodka. You may not want pills, but a shot wouldn’t kill you.

He chuckled, “Okay tough guy. Whatever you say.” He walked back to the kitchen and returned with two of the biggest shot glasses you had ever seen. “Let’s get this party started huh?” He poured two shots and handed one to you. “To life off the grid.”

You both threw your shots back. He with no reaction, you however immediately started coughing.

His hand rubbed a circle on your back, “Look at you. Took it like a champ. Didn’t even need a chaser.” He poured another shot for himself and brought it up to his lips but stopped when he saw you looking at him. “What? You didn’t think I’d give you more than one, did you? Oh no, no, no. With how tiny you are? Not to mention your tolerance has probably gone to shit. I think one is plenty for now.”

Well jokes on him. Just because you seem weak doesn’t mean you are. He’s not going to tell you how much you can and can’t drink. You scooted to the edge of the couch, wincing a little as you did. You scooped up the bottle of vodka and took a swig straight from the bottle.

You saw something flash behind his eyes, but he immediately hid it behind a playful smirk, “I don’t know if you’re a badass or a brat. Only time will tell. But I’ll have you know that in my house… My word is law. I’m just trying to help you after all.” He tore the bottle from your hands before securing the lid, giving it an extra hard squeeze to keep you from opening it again. “But because this is your first night here, and you’re hurt, and I really am a nice guy. I’ll let it slide this once…. So? You still want some ice cream?”

You nodded as you reached for your notebook but was alarmed when you couldn’t find it. You could already feel the light feeling of a buzz taking over, but you refused to let Dabi know he was right about your tolerance.

“What’s up? What are you looking for?” You made a gesture with your hands as if you were writing something down. “Ah, right. The handy dandy notebook. It’s probably in the car. I’ll go grab it.” He took a few steps away before coming back to grab the bottle of vodka, mumbling something about how he refuses to clean up your puke.

You took this time while he was away to get a better look at the place. It was very minimalistic. Lots of greys, whites, and blacks. The couch felt just as expensive as the giant tv on the wall looked. From what you could see of the kitchen, it looked nice. The shiny appliances were either kept impeccably clean, or never used. Was this his house? It hardly looked lived in.

“Alright got the notebook. How about you pick something to watch while I scoop some ice cream. What do you want? One for Vanilla, two for chocolate, three for cookies and cream.”

You held up three fingers. You were amazed at how well he was adjusting to communicating with you already. He had just accepted that you weren’t talking and went with it.

“Cookies and cream huh? I thought you’d be more of a fan of vanilla.” He chuckled. “The remot is on the side table next to you. The TV is rigged so you can basically watch whatever you want. Just type it into the search bar.”

You picked up the remote and quickly started scanning through channels. Your finger accidentally brushed the microphone button and you froze at the loud beeping noise that signaled it was listening.

Dabi had made his way over with two bowls both with cookies and cream. He saw the face you made at the remote before taking it from you and replacing it with a bowl of ice cream. “Hey none of that pouty shit. It’s not cute. This is temporary, you’ll be talking again in no time.”

He looked at the screen, “Okay one for anime, two for live action.” You held up one finger. “Okay, One for thriller, two for action, three for comedy. Four for romance.” You held up two fingers. “Oh, thank god I really thought you were going to pick romance. Okay I’m going to scroll through them, just tap my shoulder when you want me to stop.”

He scrolled for a while before you stopped him at Naruto. “Ah a classic. Good pick. Now get comfy. I have a feeling you’re gonna pass out before the first episode is even over.”

Sure enough, soon after finishing your bowl of ice cream you felt your eye lids drooping. A part of you was still nervous to fall asleep. But seeing as you just had a wild 24 hours… there was no way in hell you were fighting sleep for long.

“You ready for bed yet?” You sleepily nodded your head and started to slide down so you could lay down on the couch. “Oh no you don’t.” He scooped you up and headed down a hallway. He entered a rather large room with a bathroom attached and tossed you onto the bed causing the wound in your hip to throb. “Okay welcome to you room, this your bed, that is your bathroom. I will be right across the hall. I’d say yell if you need something but… well you know. So… try to not need me. Have a good night.”

You grabbed his wrist before he could get far, “What don’t tell me you’re like afraid of the dark or something.” He turned around to see your blushing face as you pointed to the bathroom and then to yourself. “Ooooooh, okay. Right. So, is this like a you need to pee situation? Or did you like… want to shower? Not that I’m against helping you take a shower…” He smirked at you.

You rolled your eyes and held up one finger. “Okay, okay, but you will eventually have to shower. But I guess we can figure that out tomorrow.” There was a wicked gleam in his eye that could only be compared to a child who was plotting on how to steal a cookie from the cookie jar.

He had been pretty patient while waiting for you to finish going to the bathroom, but he was still just as rough as he tossed you back onto the bed. “Alright, so, to reiterate, I’m right across the hall. Try to not need me. Good night.”

You sank into the bed the second the door closed behind him. You were alone. You were free and you were alone. Twenty-four hours ago, you had been strapped to a bed with shock collar on. You curled into a ball and cried. You wanted this to be the last time you felt sorry for yourself, so you wanted to get it all out now. Tomorrow was the first day of your new life and you didn’t plan on wasting a single second of it.

It didn’t take long for you to cry yourself to sleep considering how exhausted you were. What would have surprised you however was the fact that Dabi was sitting just outside the door listening to you muffled sobs, clenching his fists in rage.

It wasn’t until he heard you screaming that he realized he had fallen asleep there. On his feet in seconds he ran into your room. What he saw shook him a little bit. You had kicked all of the blankets off the bed. Soaked in sweat and tears. Your body was jerking around so hard it looked painful. You were having a nightmare, likely due to PTSD.

Shit what did he do? He’s no stranger to bad dreams, but he also knows he could make it worse if he doesn’t do this right. “Hey y/n. Y/N! I need you to wake up honey. It’s just a dream. You’re safe. Y/n. Y/N! Come on now follow my voice. Wake up for me yeah? You’re okay, I promise.” He reached out and as lightly as he possibly could touched your cheek.

You were burning up. He cursed as he tried to peel your soaked hoodie off of you. He started to shake your shoulder a little harder. But all that did was make you panic and thrash around. So he grabbed you and held you to him. “God Damnit Y/n. Wake up!”

He felt the tension leave your body only for a moment before you started to try and push him off of you.

He immediately dropped his arms and pushed away from you. “Hey you’re okay. It’s just me. Remember your hero pals saved you yesterday and now we’re roomies.” He could see the confusion in your eyes start to fade as you woke up. “Believe me I understand. I’d be scared too if I woke up in a weird place with my ugly mug lookin at you.”

He reached for your journal and tried to hand it to you. “You want to talk about it?”

You shook your head and hugged your knees to your chest. He nodded and put the journal back on the nightstand. “That’s okay. You don’t have to…” He wasn’t very good at this part. Talking about emotions and shit. “Yeah so uh… I can get you a different shirt.” He could see the goosebumps already raising on your arms. Now that the panic and adrenaline had subsided you were damp and cold. “And I can get a warm bath going if you want? He looked at the clock. It’s 5:30, which in ungodly early for me, but if you’re up I guess we can go ahead and start the day… How does that sound?”

You refused to look him in the eye and settled for a shrug of your shoulders, letting your knees drop from your chest. He could see straight through your tank top and was pleasantly surprised to find that under that baggie hoodie you had some nice tits.

He liked his lips and lucky for him, you were too busy avoiding eye contact that you didn’t even notice. “Alright well I tried being nice in giving you an option so now I’m telling you. You’re taking a bath.” He picked you up and walked towards the bathroom. “I’ll get the water going. Do you think you can manage making it from the toilet to the tub without me?”

Again, you shrugged which was quickly becoming one of his biggest pet peeves. He groaned, “One for yes, two for no. No more fucking shrugging.”

You nodded and held up one finger. “Alright, that wasn’t that hard was it?”

Without waiting for an answer he knew he wasn’t going to get he started the water and left you to it.

He went out to the car to grab the backpack the mini might kid had packed for you. Then into his room to grab you a clean shirt. He was going to leave the items outside the bathroom door until he heard a thump followed by a groan.

“Y/n? Did you fall down?” A very long pause later and you hit the side of the tub once. “Okay do you need help getting up?” Another long pause before you hit the side twice. “Are you sure?” He desperately wanted you to say no. Not to sound like a perv, but he’d love to get a quick peek at you.

Two hits on the tub sounded. “Okay, I’m coming in.” He opened the door almost too quickly. There you were sitting on the floor, back against the tub, completely naked. He had expected you to try and hide yourself from view, but was shocked when you practically reached for him, baring your entire chest for him to drink in.

He stopped for a moment before picking you up. “I’m not going to pick you up like I usually do. Instead I’m going to help you stand, and hold you while you try to get in yourself. We gotta start working on those legs.” You looked nervous but nodded anyways.

He hooked his hands under your armpits and pulled against him in standing position. His pinkies barley brushing the outside of your breasts and even that little bit drove him crazy. But he contained himself. The last thing he needed was you randomly activating your quirk and figuring out what a horn dog he is.

You weakly attempted to raise your right leg high enough to get into the tub. You were almost there, you almost had it. “That’s it, you’re doing so well. Just a little more, come on you can do it.” Whether you knew it or not, your ass was pushing back into Dabi’s crotch and he wasn’t going to make it much longer. So he lifted you a little higher making it easier for you to step in. “OKAY, I think one leg is good enough progress for now.” He sat the rest of you in gently before quickly turning away calling over his shoulder, “Alright, I’ll be back in… ten minutes to help you back out.”

You waited until he was gone to let a small giggle out. It honestly took you by surprise. It was the first time you had made a noise that wasn’t out of pain in a while. But just remembering the blush of his cheeks when you reached for him was enough to have you smile to yourself.

Before all of this happened to you were no stranger to being naked. In fact, you loved it. Maybe it was some weird side effect of your quirk. But you loved being naked, being intimate, having sex. To you there was no better bliss. You craved it. Your quirk allowed you all the control you could ever want, but there was something so intoxicating about giving that control over completely to someone else. To be praised, to be worshipped, to be adored.

Well at least that was the way you were before. Before you weren’t allowed to touch anyone, or look at them, or… speak to them. What if you were different now? What if being controlled for so long, being forced to do things against your will… what if it changed you?

The thought made you sad. You briefly considered testing the waters with Dabi, but quickly shook that from your head. And it wasn’t even the fact he was a villain, as much as you hate to admit it, you’d slept with villains before. But could you even consider him a villain anymore. You could see what Todoroki had meant by saying he was neither hero nor villain.

No, the biggest reason you needed to keep your hands off Dabi is because he was nice enough to take you in. You don’t need to jeopardize your safety just to curb your cravings.

You quickly scrubbed your body clean and did your best to wash your hair, but it was a nightmare. Your hair was crazy long now and the knots and tangles were just impossible to get through. You wined in frustration as your fingers yet again got stuck.

“You know I could always shave your head, I’m sure you could pull it off.” You stuck your tongue out at him as he handed you a brush. “Better watch who you’re sticking that tongue out at.” He hesitated, “Arms up, time to get out.”

You felt like a child, but you obeyed without protest. Earning you a “good girl” that sent shivers down your spine. “Hm? Do you like it when I praise you?”

You shrugged and avoided eye contact and you could feel the growl rip through is chest. “What did I say about fucking shrugging?”

You bit your lip and pulled yourself closer to him so he couldn’t see your blushing face.

Like a sack of potatoes, you were tossed onto to the bed. He tossed you a pair of clean underwear and one of his shirts that would easily come down to your knees. Once you were dressed, he roughly pulled you to the edge of the bed and sat between your legs.

Your heart rate spiked, and you let out an excited gasp. His hand smoothed up your thigh, “Relax, I’m just putting a new bandage on your hip. Don’t get so excited.” He examined the shallow wound and you winced. It took everything in him not to place a kiss right over your wound. He’d made that mark on you. It would definitely scar and as twisted as it sounded… he liked that.

He started to tape the new bandage down. One of his hands rubbed the inside of your thigh, while the other made sure the bandage was secure. God he just wanted to bite into the soft flesh in front of him. He took a deep breath to steady himself, but he was absolutely not prepared for… was you winding your fingers through his white locks.

“Y/n… what?” Your fingers tightened causing him to groan and let lose. He started to kiss the meaty part of your thigh, biting ever few kisses drawing sweet sounds from your lips that made him wonder what your voice sounded like. He made his way up to your hip and kissed right above the bandage before licking up from you belly button and up your sternum, pushing your shirt… well his shirt up as he went. He grabbed one of your tits in one hand while he sucked on the other nipple. Your hips bucked up as his hand traveled south. As soon as his hand started to sneak past your underwear something in you snapped.

You couldn’t do this. Not now. Something wasn’t right. You felt trapped under his body weight, you couldn’t breathe. Too much, you weren’t ready.

You pushed at his hand and whined until finally he got the message. He stopped and looked at your confused eyes, “Shit… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I-I guess I misread that one.” He pulled your shirt back down and knelt in front on you on the bed. “I guess we should set some rules huh?”

Rules… rules… follow the rules.

You yanked your gaze down to stare at your hands that you had folded in your lap. Don’t look, don’t talk, don’t touch.

He reached for one of your hands, but you yanked it back shaking your head. “Hey look at me.” You continued to stare into your lap. He swore under his breath, “Please… look at me. I need to know what I did or said that freaked you out so bad. This is what I mean when I said we need rules-“ You flinched. “Oh is the word rules?”

You started to shrug before you remembered he wouldn’t like that. You lifted a shaky hand and picked up your journal and handed it to him open to the first page. You snuck a glance at his expression as he read over them. His face was expressionless as he read over your list of rules. “Hm… sounds kinky.”

He looked around for something to write with before coming to sit next to you, making sure to give you plenty of space. “Okay so how about instead we have laws?” You gave a quick shrug before nodding in agreement. He narrowed his eyes at you, “And law number one. No fucking shrugging.”

He handed the pen to you, “You’re turn. Write something down.” You gave him a questioning look, “Don’t worry about it, if I don’t like it, I’ll just draw a line through it. We’re brainstorming here.”

You wrote down “No drugs.” You heard him groan but he nodded anyways.

“Okay fine but then you have to make eye contact when talking to me. Doesn’t matter if it’s verbal or not.”

You went on like that for a while until you had a new set of “laws”

You had agreed to workouts in the pool to get your strength back up and he agreed to try and learn sign language with you.

The last law he added however was “I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.”

You rolled your eyes and went to push him away but he dodged you easily enough. He quickly stood up throwing you over his shoulder. “Alright enough of that. We have a long day ahead of us.”

You helped him make breakfast while he explained that this house was one of many that he owned under different aliases. This one was the most secluded and had the best security system.

You were still picking at your pancakes when he sat next to you at the kitchen island bringing a laptop with him. “I’m not helping you down from here until you eat every last bite. Law number 7- Eat three full meals a day. Need to put some meet on those bones.”

He pulled up a website that had a video queued up that said introduction to sign language. “Okay before we get going 1 for tea, 2 for coffee.”

Your eyes lit up as you held up 2 fingers and scurried to grab your journal. ‘Can you put some milk in it?’ It had been so long since you had coffee and the thought had you bouncing with excitement.

He read it and gave you a thumbs up. “Go ahead and start the video, I’m just over here.”

And that’s how you set into your routine. Every day you’d sleep in until you decided to get up. Eat a big breakfast. Work on sign language. Eat Lunch. Do some kind of workout in the pool. Relax and watch TV. Eat dinner. Take a bath. Go to bed.

You did this every day for the past two weeks and you could already tell a difference. You and Dabi had learned a few basics in sign. Only a few words, but it was a start. But Dabi’s favorite part was helping you walk.

Not that he didn’t like carrying you, but this was just as much fun. He’d hold you under the armpits from behind and he’d let you stand on his feet like a child. You still couldn’t walk on your own, but you were so close. Every day you felt stronger and you knew it was only a matter of time.

Today marks sixteen days that you had been here. You watched as Dabi cleaned up the rest of breakfast. You frowned as you thought about how much he did for you and how little you gave in return. You hadn’t noticed him walk over to you until his hand was lifting your chin to look at him. “Pool time?”

You nodded and signed back ~Pool time~. You reached your arms up to be picked up and he easily complied, no worse than a trained dog.

“You’ve gained weight. I can tell.”

You looked horrified as you slapped his shoulder. ~rude~

He chuckled, “Hey don’t get all huffy about it. It’s a good thing. You were way too skinny before. You looked like a strong breeze would blow you over and break all of your bones.” He stopped at the edge of the pool giving you a wicked look. “Now you’re starting to look healthy again. Healthy enough for me to do this and not feel bad about it.”

He tossed you into the pool, clothes and all. You sputtered to the surface but didn’t have to struggle long before he was behind you leading you to the shallow end. “You’re fine. Almost there, don’t be so dramatic.”

He led you to the wall you usually hold on to for your exercises and let you go. You growled as you flipped him off. Idiot doesn’t need to know sign language to understand that one.

You pulled your wet shirt off and tossed it over to one of the lounge chairs. Leaving you in just a bra and underwear, which is how you normally did these exercises. Dabi had requested the heroes send a bathing suit in the next care package, but it hadn’t arrived yet.

He reached around your middle section and pulled you away from the wall after you had done a couple sets of squats and leg kicks. “Okay now lets see how you do without the wall.” He turned you around to face him and slowly backed away only holding your elbows now. “Okay now lets take a lap around the shallow end shall we?”

At first your steps were more like tiny shuffles. “It’s gonna take us all damn day if you don’t start taking bigger steps. Come on you can do it. Pick those feet up!”

You gave him a harsh glare. He knew you couldn’t fight back right now because your hands were too busy gripping his arms for support.

You started taking larger steps and then larger ones and then eventually you had made it almost all the way around. Dabi stepped back and completely. “Okay just a few more steps. I think you can do them on you own. Come on baby girl. Just a few steps. You can do it.”

You nodded enthusiastically, of course you could. It was just a few steps. You could do this. You reached your hands out to the side and took your first step by yourself. Your eyes lit up at the feeling. Sure, it was only in the pool, but that was progress! “That’s it! Good girl, keep going!” You reached for him as you took another step, followed by another and another and then suddenly he was picking you up. “Hell yeah! Atta girl! Good job. I think that earned you some kind of reward.” He gave the top of your head a quick kiss as he started to carry you out of the pool.

Your head was singing with his praises, and your body was buzzing with adrenaline after crossing such a huge milestone. He carried you to his room where he pulled out another shirt for you to wear. “Okay so about that rewar-“

He was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. His eyes went dark. No one was supposed to know where this place was. He quickly picked you up and sprinted to the office. There was a secret false wall panel that led to a saferoom. He had told you of its existence in case he ever needed to hide you, but you hadn’t actually seen it. He was in the process of opening up the wall when a familiar flash of blonde hair showed on the security monitor. You pinched his shoulder and pointed.

He looked at what you were pointing at and groaned. “What the fuck is he doing here?”

***************************

tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime @klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs

#bakugo #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #mha bakugou #bhna bakugou #mha #mha x reader #mha imagines #my hero academia #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi todoroki #dabi x y/n #yandere dabi #dabi

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lexa-lives-in-us · 3 years

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Saving Tips for Hard Times

I found this old document where I collected a series of tips to save money. This is all part of my experience of when I was near homeless, and some work depending on where you live, some don’t. Here we go.

BILLS:

1. The optimum temperature for refrigerator operation is 5°C, and -18°C for freezer operation. As a rule of thumb, for each additional degree of refrigeration output about six percent more electricity is used.

2. Unplug your appliances. Lamps, microwave, tv, computers etc. They don't need to be plugged until you use them, and it saves energy to keep them unplugged. Therefore, money.

3. Do homework for phone companies and internet plans. Call them! Often they are toll free and if you mentioned that you were already with them or thinking of going with them and then found out another company had a better deal, they could offer you deals for lower prices. I had to do it all the time for my phone, until they couldn't really offer anything better.

4. BIKE. Invest in a used bike if you can, especially for the warmer months. It offsets the transit costs and better your health.

5. WALK. That's the same as the bike, honestly.

6. Pay your bills on time, you will avoid late fees which can up to HUNDREDS of dollars wasted over the course of a year. If you can, set up automatic payments so you don’t forget.

FRIDGE:

1. Every time the refrigerator door is opened, cold air escapes and warm ambient air enters. To compensate for the temperature increase in its interior, the refrigerator must then use energy to bring the temperature back down. Always avoid opening the door unnecessarily and for too long.

2. When defrosting frozen food place it in the refrigerator. Not only does this ensure that the food is carefully defrosted, its presence cools down the refrigerator interior, reducing the amount of work that the compressor has to do, and therefore lowering energy consumption.

3. Never put warm food in the refrigerator as this will heat up the interior, as well as other stored foods. Hot food should always be allowed to cool to room temperature before placing it in the refrigerator

MONEY:

1. Keep all the containers like glass bottles, juice bottles, jars, cans etc. Look for your Return-It depot and have trips to return them. They give back coins for laundry, small expenses etc

2. Use that junk mail. Go through it, find coupons for food, for essentials like toilet paper or shampoo.

3. CHECK. THAT. DOLLARSTORE. They often have things like pasta, ketchup, toilet paper, batteries etc for literally 1 dollar. Pasta is pasta, toilet paper is toilet paper. Seriously. Don't need to spend 5$ on a shampoo bottle when you can have it for 1/5 of the price.

4. Do homework and check with different banks for which one offers a better plan. Some of them are willing to help out. Sit down with their advisors, find the best solution!

5. Use the envelope system! For example, one envelope with a label “food” the other with “entertainment” the other with “bills”. Then set the right amount of cash for each. That’s what you’re allowed to spend each month. If you realize you need more for food, grab it from the entertainment envelope. Adapt and arrange as needed.

6. If you can, set up an automatic saving (example 50$ every paycheck) for both regular saving AND an emergency fund.

7. Use the 24-Hour Rule. Avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse with a self-imposed 24-hour rule. For any non-essential item, wait 24 hours before purchasing. It’s perfect for online shopping where your items can simply be added to your cart to purchase later.

8. Make a grocery list BEFORE going to the grocery store and STICK to it. You’re going to avoid buying things you don’t really need.

9. DO. NOT. SHOP. WHILE. YOU. ARE. HUNGRY. Or you’ll end up buying food that you actually don’t need just because you feel snacky!

10. Only use ATMs from your bank, or you get charged small fees.

11. Set a “No Spend Day” per week, where you consciously DO NOT spend any money for that day.

12. Ditch the paper: Cutting out paper towels and using cloths and napkins that you can simply wash and reuse is a simple way to save.

13. After you wear clothes, hang them outside your wardrobe, on a door or something. You can air them out a bit, then stick them in the closet without washing. You can basically reuse the same clothes two or three times without having to wash them, sometimes they just need a bit of air and they won’t smell AT ALL.

14. If you don’t own or want to spend money on an iron, hang whatever blouse you need to iron in the bathroom while you shower. The steam will humidify the fabric and straighten it up.

15. Hang stuff to dry. Really don’t need to spend money on the dryer.

16. Sign up to the library. They have so many books and DVDs nowadays. You can also just go, sit at the library and stay warm for a while, so that you don’t have to sit at home and either suffer the cold or use money on your own heat.

17. Budget, budget, budget. Get a lil notebook, write down the monthly expenses, cut what you don’t need. It gets easier with time.

FOOD:

1. Make a meal plan. Write 10-14 days worth of dishes that you can do (lunch, dinner, everything you need). You can then toss them around as you go on with your week, but that way you have a pretty clear idea of what you use and the food you go through for how long. It also reduces the risks of getting take out since you already have plans for what to eat.

2. Cook double! Seriously. Make that dinner and double it up. Leftovers can be frozen or put in the fridge for the day after.

3. Meal prep. Once a week, prep a bunch of different recipes. Let them cool down, stick them in the freezer. At that point you’ll already have all these meals at the ready to just thaw/microwave or oven up.

4. You don’t need pop. You don’t need alcohol. You most likely don’t need milk, but go for it if you wanna. Just remember dairy products go bad WAY more quickly than non dairies, so consider getting food and drinks with no dairy in them. Mainly, though. Water. Just drink water. Lots of it too! Sometimes our brain can’t tell the difference between hunger and thirst. You think you’re snacky? Drink some water instead! It’ll quell your hunger.

5. Freeze fruit! If you think you’re not gonna be able to eat fruit in time, put it in a Tupperware or a ziplock and slap it in the freezer. You’ll be able to then use it for smoothies.

6. Use the Italian saying “Colazione da re, pranzo da nobili, cena da poveri.” Which quite literally means “Breakfast as a king, lunch as a noble, dinner as a poor.” Breakfast should be very filling, carbs, protein, vitamins. It carries you for the whole day. Lunch should be quite filling too! But supper doesn’t really need a lot of it, and if you REALLY have to skip a meal, skip supper. Your body doesn’t need that much sustenance while sleeping.

7. This is for the desperate times but I’ve done it, and I would do it again if I ever had to. Go to markets that have like… Fruits and veggies. Talk to them. Ask them “HEY, can I have the fruit/veggie that you have to throw away?” Ask them if you can have the ugly produce, the one that doesn’t look pretty enough to be put out. Or ask them to have whatever extra they have to dump because is past the expiry date. EXPIRY DATE IS USUALLY MUCH LONGER THAN WHAT THE LABEL SAYS. I wouldn’t risk it with dairy stuff or with things that are VERY expired, but one or two days? Totally fine, I promise. And if you have to? Dumpster Dive. Especially at markets with fruit and veggies that have to be sold on the same day (because it’s not considered “fresh” past that day.) Or behind pizza places like Dominos or Panago or whatever chain. They get pizza orders wrong all the time. Just give a peak behind these buildings and look inside their boxes. You have no idea how many times I found perfectly fine pizzas. For free! IF YOU DUMPSTER DIVE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GLOVES, A MASK AND PLASTIC BAGS TO PUT YOUR STUFF IN. ONCE AT HOME, DISCARD GLOVES AND WASH PRODUCE THROUGHLY. Also check tumblr for your divers community, they usually know the best spots.

CLOTHES:

1. Thrift shop! So many GOOD used clothes are out there! Honestly! My whole wardrobe is thrifted and everything looks brand new. It takes a bit of research and maybe that shirt you liked is not in your size, but you can find EVERYTHING, from socks to bras, at a thrift store. Don’t thrift underwear though. You want to go new with those.

2. Invest in some needle and thread, then open youtube. There are SO MANY tutorials that teach you how to mend holes in socks and underwear. And really, no one will really notice if a mend is perfectly done or not. After a week, you’ll forget it too! But that prevents you from throwing away clothes that could just be mended a little.

3. Something doesn’t fit you? Too small, too big? YouTube, homie. They have tutorials on how to fix these kinda things! All you need, again, is needle and thread.

4. Organize clothes swaps with friends and/or neighbors. Everyone brings clothes they don’t need, put them in a pile. Go through the pile and grab whatever there is. There’s no money exchange, one could go home with 1 item and one could go home with 50 items. Who cares? The extra stuff… DONATE IT TO A SHELTER.

Feel free to add more, and stay safe!

#saving #saving tips #saving tip #money management #savings #small savings #homeless #saving account #my tips #signal boost #thrifting #dumpster diving #recycle #creative reuse #reduce reuse recycle #reducereuserecycle

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scoops-stevie-archive · 2 years

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hi. so. there's a laundry list.

living has gotten quiet difficult over the last two years. working and going to school full time is taking a giant toll on my mental and physical health and it's becoming increasingly obvious that i can no longer do certain things that i was once able to do.

i haven't bought actual groceries in almost a year because my paychecks go to bills. i live off of meals i bring home from work, if we're serving something i like, which last about a day and a half, and coffee. i can't drink our tap water so i fill my 1700ml water bottle up when i'm at work.

dishes is something i can no longer do. the repetetive arm movements triggers my vertigo and i'm down for the rest of the day. the most i can manage is leaving them in one side of the sink to soak in hot soapy water and finally scrounging up the strength to wash them a few days later. i'm saving for a new dishwasher from rent-2-own but i still have another year on my fridge payment.

my house is a constant mess and it never feels like a home. just a place to store my stuff. i can't remember the last time i was able to buy furnace filters (beginning of fall, maybe?) and i'm scared my house will burn down because of it. pet food and litter has gotten crazy expensive.

i want to be able to buy things that make me happy once in a while but i can't because Bills.

we're trying to get me a riding mower because two people taking four hours to cut grass shouldn't be a thing. it takes two people because since moving into my own place my social anxiety has morphed into agoraphobia and i only feel safe enough to go further than my car in the driveway with another person because it feels like i'm being watched by every single neightbor, even though i know it's not true.

please help me live.

venmo: axhiiles

paypal: axhiiles

#rwy'n siarad

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dirtycccat · 3 years

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the demon bros + (un)dateables drunk

tw for drinking so if you’re not into that yeah be warned. also there’s some mentions of horniness because uhhh,,,ya know

Lucifer

normal soft drunk

it’s neither too easy nor too hard to get him drunk

also his drink of choice is probably wine really really expensive wine

he has a pretty high tolerance but not as high as his party animal bros

since it looks like he drinks pretty often if you look at all the alcohol in his mancave study

it’s canon he’s a soft drunk??? which,,,, cute

but also chaotic af

i feel like he just reverts to angel lucifer? the really cute innocent baby that’s also very, very chaotic (think of lesson 37+ luci which i only saw screenshots of but still)

expect him to do a 180: if he’s a stern emotionally constipated dad sober drunk luci is basically him with 0 filters but a lot of emotion

he’ll make weird dad jokes, tell people he cares about them, ask dumb dumb questions that he thinks about daily but never voices

“ok mc but what is lol actually and why does levi say that all the time. wait why are you laughing… lots of love? ok then I send you lol”

prefers to drink with close friends and family only because he knows how he gets when drunk

will not admit it but he enjoys being able to feel so?? free and say whatever he wants since he feels like he can’t normally

Mammon

heavy weight hyper puppy

he has a pretty high alcohol tolerance probably since he’s into partying

also he knows his limits because of past experiences

but sometimes limits are made to be broken

and once they’re broken oh boy

drunk mammon is just him but hyper

or more like even more hyper

i feel like he’d become as excited as a golden retriever on redbull in the first 4 hours

dancing with everyone, making crack jokes, getting into weird situations

and then if he drinks a liiitle bit too much

he’d just break down

and cry

and be an emotional mess

which ends up in him crying over your/ his bros’ shoulder telling everyone he loves them

and then end up falling asleep

so you have to take turns carrying him to bed and make sure he’s safely tucked in with a glass of water close by

you don’t mind though since usually he makes sure you get home safe when you go drinking

Leviathan

heavy weight emotional drunk 100%

another boy that sleeps near a bottle of alcohol so he probably drinks regularly

if you’re in your room all day it’s pretty easy to just do it since you’re safe so he does it whenever he feels like it

this jealous boy can fake being chill while sober but once you get him drunk expect tears, angry rants, yelling, semi-public mental breakdowns

you always end up having to put him into bed while he cries on your shoulder all the while you try to lift this surprisingly heavy boy into his bathtub bed

but also since he’s the most artistic of the family I bet sometimes he does art while drunk?

you once went to his room trying to return a manga you took and oh no levi is painting a 2 meters ruri mural while he’s in the nude

don’t question it it helps him concentrate

sometimes sad bitch energy mixed with alcohol equals great things

he’s also in the lowkey horny drunk category

what can you do it happens when you’re a touch starved nerd,,, all alone in your room,,, drinking

Satan

light weight happy drunk

two glasses of wine and he’s gone

remember like all cards with satan drinking? yup he’s a happy drunk

if sober he’s like ugh partying is for nerds

drunk satan just wants to party with everyone

and vibe

he’ll invite everyone to take group shots, dance all night, do weird shit that ends up being photographed (to his next day hungover dismay)

he’s terrible at club dancing but he will be found in the middle of the dancefloor going wild

expect embarrassing dancing at first

but if you want to correct him he won’t say no to dancing with you more,,, intimately

may or may not grab your hands and start waltzing at some point though

(you think it’s great he’s so happy and free so it doesn’t matter)

Asmodeus

heavy weight horny drunk

has the highest alcohol tolerance since he’s the party animal of the family

lmao what did you expect

drink of choice is probably devilgrammable cocktails: fun, sexy, colorful just like him

he’s the definition of babe let’s drink so we can have wilder sex

loves how oversensitive he feels while drunk??? and how his senses get overwhelmed

will moan out loud if he bumps into a table while drunk no shame, no regrets

and dance really lasciviously with whoever catches his eye

if you’re romantically involved not only will he grind into you or let you do so with him

but expect lap dances

if you surprise him with lap dances instead expect to be,,,, rewarded wink wink

but if you do something meaningful for him or give him tthoughtful compliments

he will go into his emotional mode and literally hug you and never let go

...and you’ll have to spend your night in his arms while he tells you all about how he thinks you’re perfect for him and how thankful he is that you’re in his life

expect some tears in those moments (that he tries to hide while you casually pretend they’re not there in the first place)

Beelzebub

idk normal tolerance and emotional drunk

since he’s HUGE it’s probably not super easy to get him drunk but also since he doesn’t really drink much it’s not hard either

talks about issues and cries

a lot

so he doesn’t drink all that much

and only does it with his family

him and belphie always end up cuddling and falling to sleep together if they both get drunk since they are both emotional messes when alcohol is involved

and you join them too if you’re drinking with them

Belphegor

heavy weight emotional drunk but on the angry side

like his twin but he probably...drinks more?? he’s such a sad bitch I mean c’mon

like his bro he’s an emotional drunk

sad crying, angry crying, just crying

that’s him that’s what you get into if you tell him to drink with you

will get in the stabby mode if too drunk

so don’t let him drink too much if you value your and his life

...rather cuddle him until he gets too comfy and warm and falls asleep

works every time

Diavolo

normal tolerance sleepy drunk

is used to drinking because of social gatherings and high class etiquette but he doesn’t indulge often

since he mostly drinks with luci, barbatos and you

high key prefers sweet cocktails instead of normal fancy drinks

i bet if you took him to the club he’d want to try out the weirdest most colorful cocktails

and then make barbatos redo them

can hold his liquor but he’s still a sleepy boy? like alcohol probably calms him and he’s just so comfortable and at peace he just,,, naps with his head on your shoulder (or luci’s, or barbatos’ depends who he’s drinking with or who’s closest to him at the moment)

if he’s in the club though it’s a different story

he goes full dad mode

doing all the embarrassing dad dances but proudly

remember the meme with prince william or whatever in the club? that’s him

A+ for effort though he really becomes the life of the party

Barbatos

heavyweight vodka aunt

doesn’t really get drunk drunk since he has to take care of diavolo 24/7

but once it’s self care day

oh boy

he turns into a single suburbian mom

you’d think he’s the sophisticated wine mom but oh no

closes all doors and windows, puts on a hot bath with scented oils, lights candles, plays soft jazz in the background

and then drinks straight liquor out of the bottle

(like that one vine)

if you’re close and drink together he’ll also talk a lot more than usual

and give you fun stories about the bois and diavolo

“mc did i tell you about the first week lucifer and his brothers came to the devildom and had to cook for themselves for the first time in their lives? lucifer did not know how an oven works and that you have to close it after you’re done cooking and almost burned the whole house of lamentation down.”

Simeon

light weight spaced out drunk

do not give him alcohol unless you want to experience weird random xD simeon

physically he’s here, spiritually he’s astral projecting

looks the same, smiles handsomely, no change here

...but if you try talking to him he’ll say the weirdest shit like

“mc do you think that the stars know that they are loved and we watch them every day”

uh idk simeon??? what do you think???

if you’re romantically involved he will flirt shamelessly, even more shamelessly than usual

because,,, he’s just more honest so he just says whatever

people get uncomfortable around you two and end up backing off and leaving you alone

surprising enough or not he looks like he’s also a lowkey horny drunk

ofc you can’t tell since he’s so chill all the time

but I bet you he’s horny inside hornier than asmo

Solomon

heavyweight deep drunk

this boy has done some drinking in his lifetime

...since he has whiskey grandpa vibes

will say really out of the blue thoughtful things??? which is so not like sober solomon

“mc you remind me of one of the people that meant the most to me they too were here for me and believed in me when no one else did and I have to thank you for that”

wow solomon that sure was random since you were talking about how cold it is outside before but thank you i guess

fakes being not drunk easily but you can tell the moment he starts speaking that he’s gone

also looks at you straight in the eyes when he talks to you

and sometimes starts giggling or blushing

which makes you go??????? solomon are you okay

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heyitsyn · 3 years

Text

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

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mariinara · 3 years

Text

A/N: THIS ONE'S AN ELITE ONE AND I HAD TO GET TO IT FOR MY HOMIE SHEA (@lilsnatch). HERE YOU GO, HOMIE, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT <3 (P.S. Of course I'll include Nate. He's THE uncharted boy!)

Q: What kind of drunks are the uncharted boys?

Nathan–

-Nate really isn't a chaotic kind of drunk. But when he does drink?

-Oh, boy.

-First of all, it takes a lot to get a Drake drunk. Especially this guy.

-But, he always needs to have company. He knows shit'll hit the fan, most probably, and someone responsible will have to hold him up and remind him to slow down or give him a ride home.

-Bar-hopping with you was his favorite thing, though. And it was yours as well.

-He was a flirty drunk. At least he'd start off that way.

-"Oh, hey, gorgeous!" He'd exclaim, turning his head towards you with a goofy smile on his face, "You come here often?"

-You have to physically restrain yourself from bonking him every time he does/says shit like that, but you also can't help but fidget and smile and take a VERY RESPONSIBLE swig from your beer bottle.

-And when he drinks more? He gets emotional.

-Overall, Nate was classified as your typical emotional drunk.

-Also performs a lot of magic tricks for the whole bar to see.

-Existential crisis, whining, rubbing his head against your shoulder like a hungry stray cat begging for affection, and then crying. He doesn't even realize he's crying. He just rambles and he cries mid-way.

-And then he'd get clingy. Smooching your cheek when he could, leaving you a hot and bothered mess as you contain him, sheepishly smiling at the bartender as you rub Nate's back and tell him that it's okay. Whatever's bothering him.. or not bothering him.

-His withdrawal symptoms include passing out, snoring, and sleep-talking, which means you have to take him home and stay over until he wakes up, an advil and a bottle of water on his nightstand and your body laying a safe distance from his, your position suggesting that you've been watching over him.

Sam-

-The living, breathing, walking example of fucking disaster.

-Much like his younger brother, he can handle alcohol pretty well.

-Unlike his brother, though, he doesn't really care whether he hops bars alone or with company. Although he prefers company, literally nothing will stop him from walking into the closest bar to his home and having a pint. Or two.

-Maybe ten..

-He's the sort to start a party if the place is just not uppity enough.

-Will get up on the counters and dance and sing awfully loud.

-Will 100% get people singing with him and gathering around him.

-Will have a drinking competition with a complete fucking stranger and he will 100000% win.

-Gambles, too.

-"If I win, you give me your girl for the night."

-The girl approves.

-"Is that the best you could do?"

-Proceeds to down like twenty kamikaze shots.

-Basks in the attention, even when drunk.

-These are all in the cases when he's alone.

-If you're there with him, though?

-It's a completely different story.

-You'll pinch his ear and yank him close when things are getting out of hand.

-You'll yank him down from the counter top and bring him back to sit and not make a scene because there are cops in the area and you're not prepared to bail his drunk ass out.

-He's not allowed to drink as much when he's with you and you explain how he'll definitely ruin himself.

-And while he thought he'd be annoyed by it, he found your concern quite endearing.

-He was definitely sure that he drank that much when alone because he was upset he was alone but would rather swallow a denim jacket than admit it.

-But, God, he'd definitely drink enough to give you an unsolicited kiss on the cheek, despite not being your boyfriend.

-You had feelings. Just never got around to talking about them.

-He'd flirt with you when sober, of course, but the amount of sexual innuendos that had the bystanders either chuckling softly or squirming in their seats was.. astonishing.

-Your face would instantly heat up and you'd cover his mouth.

-He's the kind to lick your palm when you do that and laugh at your reaction, though.

-Might pull his pants down and walk around half naked in public so have eyes on him at all times.

Rafe-

-Drinks a lot. Knows his liquor.

-Expensive taste so he's really hard to please.

-He's used to very specific alcohol concentrations in his drink.

-Doesn't do tequila.

-But, being the absolute hoot of a girlfriend you are, you make him do tequila.

-And then quickly realized why he doesn't do tequila.

-That's an angry fucking drunk if you've ever seen one.

-"The fuck did you just say to me?" at someone who was minding their business.

-BAR FIGHT!! BAR FIGHT!!!!

-The kind to go for the first punch but pass out on the floor mid-swing.

-Like he completely shuts down.

-If he's not swinging punches, he's demanding sex from you in very loud slurs and barely open eyes.

-Or hugs.

-No inbetween.

-And that's when you know you have to take him home and sober him up.

-Then laugh at him because, wow, heavy liquor is not for rich boy.

Harry—

-Handles his liquor just as well as the Drakes do.

-Downright horny drunk.

-When I say horny, I mean he'd be willing to unbuckle his belt and take you on the barstool.

-Dick out, no fucks given.

-Heavy liquor for DAYS.

-You'd just look at him and he'll voice how turned on you make him.

-BAR FIGHTS!! BAR FIGHTS!!

-But just cause someone was staring at you.

-Performs magic tricks that he stole from Nate.

-He will a thousand percent fuck you silly up against a wall in a bathroom.

-And you love it because he's all dirty talk, generally, but he's all filthy talk when he's drunk.

-Is not afraid to be loud during drunk sex.

-Talent? Walking in a straight line even when hammered.

-Sings pitbull songs very loudly.

-His belly gets very red when he's had too much to drink. His ears and cheeks too. It's just adorable.

Charlie—

-Philosophical drunk.

-He knows so much about everything. The man is a damn encyclopedia, even if he doesn't look like it, the man sounds like scholar.

-Can recite Shakespeare from the top of his head while raw-dogging you.

-Make sure you're on birth-control because he will not be pulling out. Nope. Not even if you tried.

-The only person who can beat Sam in a drinking competition.

-Smashes bottles on the ground when done with them.

-Existential crises. All the time.

-Likes watching the discovery channel while drunk. He just stares and laughs.

-"He said horse cock."

-"I know, Charlie."

-"You know who has a horse cock?—"

-"I know, Charlie."

-He gets very hungry and he's always craving a salty snack so you make sure you have a bag of pretzels or salty peanuts for him.

-Likes to rest his head on boobs when he gets a headache.

-Fun history facts.

-Practically indecipherable most of the time.

#I LOVED DOING THIS #there you go #they are all terrible people to go to bars with #nathan drake #sam drake #rafe adler #harry flynn #charlie cutter #uncharted

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cherryblossomtease · 3 years

Text

Chapter 13

18 + only

warnings and summary - Masterlist

Dressed in the ridiculously high-cut low sided white one piece suit you find in the drawer and an oversized cream colored cashmere cardigan, you shove the sleeves up, slip into a pair of woven slides and leave the room feeling refreshed after a shower and venture down the long, somewhat dim hall, the doors to the other cabins that line the pass all shut.

You’re not below water but you feel the weight of the ship like being held safe in the arms of a protecter, shielding you from the wild seas outside.

You’d been in such a daze when you first arrived you really don’t remember the details, but now you see just how incredible his floating hide-out really is.

At the end of the hall is that common area, though there’s nothing common about it. The walls and floor are a beautiful teak, stained and sealed to a high gloss. The low, warm lighting and strip of windows that curve around the space give the room a luxe but cozy den-like feel, even with the massive tv. Look’s like the nightly Netflix binging can continue— when you’re not otherwise occupied of course.

You hear a sound from behind you and find Oeznik arraigning bottles in the wine fridge. With a smile you greet him. “Have you seen Helmut or Bucky?”

“Yes miss.I believe they are both on the upper deck. Take the stairs all the way up.” Your ears quickly adjust to his accent and you glance over at the backlit steps behind the tv wall. “Got it.”

He smiles nodding. “Enjoy.”

You just grin and quietly leave him to his work feeling the warm and fuzzies for the dear old man.

As you go to the steps, you catch a glimpse of the ocean slowly passing though you’re sure you moving a speed that will ensure your timely arrival. Turning back to the butler you frown. “Out of curiosity, Who’s the captain of this ship? I mean, there must be a crew?”

“Oh, the Baron has hired only the best.” He assures you “And only the most capable of-- keeping quiet” He answers knowing your meaning.

You nod and feel your shoulders lower as the tension between them eases now that you know there doesn’t seem to be any threat of betrayal, at least not for now.

Going up the steps you pass the empty second floor and take a quick peek. You’ll never complain about a luxury yacht, who would, but this is bordering on obscene—it’s fucking wonderful.

A pool lined by deck chairs at the far end, over looks the back end of the ship. The glass edge give views of the ocean below. At the front end, the dining area with it’s long table waits for many drunken night and dead center is a lounge area that you can already imagine dancing in. You shake your head knowing the night is far from over and continue up the next flight.

The wind whips at your skin now that you’re high above the water. You look out at all that blue and it hits you just how isolated you are which makes you feel very safe and very excited. There are no rules out here. None but his.

“No, slice it like this, that way when you bite it, you can eat the entire piece.”

Your ears perk at the sound of Zemo’s voice and his choice of words.

He’s talking to Bucky, you can tell by his tone. Patient, amused, adoring…

“I know how to cut an orange” Bucky snaps. You can practically hear him roll his eyes.

Helmut’s laugh is low, harder to hear but you know that soft rumble.

Coming up over the last step, you walk onto the deck taking the same path Helmut had early this afternoon and find them at the wet bar just under the shade of the overhang. They haven’t been around one another very long, just a couple of hours and most of that time Bucky was alone while you and Zemo reacquainted yourselves but they seem to have found their rhythm quickly.

You like watching them together, almost as much as you like the way they look at you.

Bucky’s holding his knife ready to cut again when he notices that you're here and looks up getting that goofy smile on his face like he does when you dress up to go out. This gets Zemo’s attention and the Baron looks over his shoulder finding you and instantly understands.

“She lives.” He teases and puts down the bottle opener he was set to use, but not the bottle of wine. He leaves Bucky to come to you and whatever flattered smile you might have had shifts when you notice how he looks.

Maybe he had this on earlier but you were so overcome by just seeing him that you hadn’t really noticed, now you do. Now you take the time to realize that you’ve never seen Zemo looking so causal. But even in a white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up twice (to be in good taste of course) and the buttons no more than a suggestion at this point with that necklace he always wears catching the light as he struts towards you, not to mention that single lock of hair in his eyes, he is still the man in the fur collared coat you knew before he was taken away— just the holiday version.

You let your gaze wander down to admire the cut of his cream colored chinos and those modern take on Italian leather boat shoes that are probably, no defiantly from Italy. He makes getting away look obscenely good.

The kiss you share is light; a press, a hold, his hand on your face, his thumb on your chin, his smile against your mouth. “Did you sleep well?” He asks.

“I did” You answer, eyes still closed.

“You look stunning” He says sort of taking you in without moving away.

“So do you.” You say feeling yourself flush.

“Would you like a drink? James and I are making sangria.” He announces stepping away and it takes you a second to collect yourself as you watch him saunter back.

Has he always been so intoxicating? Yes girl, isn’t that how you ended up on a fucking yacht… you hold in your self deprecating laugh and join them.

Back over at the bar, you watch as he checks in on Bucky who has been very diligently cutting fruit in a way that you’ve never seen him try to do anything in the year you’ve lived together. But the thing that really holds your attention is how Zemo lays his hand against small of Bucky’s back and stands very close, watching just over his shoulder for a second then smiles approval, his hand lingering even as he steps away.

Bucky tries not to, but he can’t resist and lifts his head watching Zemo leave to walk back under the overhang.

You’ve seen that look before, or rather you’ve felt it. That hunger for the Baron, that draw to him. When Zemo walks away you want to follow. You find yourself nearly hypnotized by his regal movements that can so quickly become a force of aggression that can bring you to your knees, only for it to feel like the sun itself on your face when he finally looks at you.

Poor man, you think sympathetically smiling at Bucky. He’s in for a world of trouble.

“Hey," You tap Bucky’s forearm, “How are you?” You ask quietly while you have a few seconds alone and notice that he’s stripped out of his leather jacket and all that black.

He must have changed while you were— occupied. He’s got on a dark blue t-shirt and clearly very expensive shorts with what must be a five inch inseam because they stop just below mid thigh and yet again you're thanking Zemo for his good taste. Bucky looks good enough to take a bite out of. And…is he barefoot? You lean your head around the bar but he gives you a funny look so you sit back up trying to play innocent. Whatever, you’re just happy to see him out of the utility gear, stomping around in boots— god love him— the man deserves to relax.

Bucky frowns a little. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

He looks confused.

“Don’t play dumb, you weren’t so confident before we hitched our ride out here” You say wondering just how big a change of heart he’s had since this morning.

Bucky glances over his shoulder to find Zemo looking through the wine glass collection along the shelving and smiles. “Yeah well, I guess I’m not so worried now.” He says, his eyes sparkling with something a little mischievous in them.

“Ha! Yeah well, I tried to tell you that once we got here everything would be just fine.” You say kindly.

“Come on, you can’t blame me for being worried.”

“No, of course not.” And you truly mean it. “Honestly James, I’m just happy you’re here. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

He seems touched but instead cocks his brow. “Sounds like you two were getting along just fine.”

You scoff seeing that Zemo is on his way back over. “Not fair, we needed that.” You whisper.

“I know,” Bucky teases with a wink just as Zemo sets the glasses on the counter.

“Looks good.” He says gripping Bucky’s shoulder rubbing hard and the way Bucky beams with pride you’re just happy you don’t have a mouthful of wine, the spit take would have been epic.

In minutes the drinks are mixed and the three glasses are raised in the air. “What do we drink to?” You ask.

Zemo looks between you both, settling on you first and reaches for your hand turned palm up on the counter and takes it, stroking your wrist. You sigh deep in your chest feeling yourself go as liquid as the ocean around you. “To love.” He says with confidence, smiling at you before letting go. Turning to Bucky, his hand now finding the other mans closed on the counter, he grips it tight. “And to possibility.” The look exchanged between them nearly shatters your heart it is so pure and so real.

“And the freedom to live it.” You add softly feeling that truth in your soul and both men look over at you raising their glasses.

The wine warms your belly, the taste so incredible you shut your eyes thankful for a good drink after such a batshit crazy day. Swallowing you look up at them and wonder now that the wine is flowing how long it will be before the inevitable happens.

After a few more glasses of the dangerously delicious sangria, you find yourself happily descending the levels of the yacht listening to Zemo rattle on about the specs and metrics of the luxury vessel until the three of you find yourselves enjoying a pleasant buzz on the pool deck.

You’re sauntering around, swaying to the music in your own head, smiling at them, teasing them. Bucky is amused but as usual slightly annoyed.“This is nuts you know that right” He says dragging his eyes from you to look back through towards the lounge and dining area.

There’s a sort of lazy energy down here with the indulgence on full display. Theres even a sauna just before the lounge.

Bucky looks at Zemo waiting for a reply.

He simply shrugs looking proud. “If we’re going to be here for a while I wanted to be comfortable.” He smiles and takes a drink. “Polinksy's just lucky this is all I took from him."

You stop messing around and look up at him feeling a wave of shock run through you “Polinsky? From the casino!”

“That’s the one.” Zemo says casually as he joins you at the edge of the pool. He stands, hand in his pocket looking content and a little smug.

“Holy shit… I can’t believe you took his yacht.” You say impressed looking away. “I can't believe he was rich enough to own one! But, first the casino and now this, won’t he come for you?”

“It turns out our friend had deep dealings in very dark markets but no. We have nothing to fear from him love.” He says and kisses your forehead. You sink down a little, always undone by his voice. “I can assure you there is no threat there and we have quite the safe house to show for it. And before you ask, no he did not deal in human trafficking.”

You smile, he knows you well too because you would have gone overboard before enjoying luxury paid for at the expense of another woman's suffering.

Bucky is watching, confused but resolved to not know everything about your past with each other. “Yeah well. Whoever this Polinksy is had great taste. I’ll say that for him”

“His wife actually.” Zemo says standing tall again, his hand warm on your back as he talks around you. “That idiot wanted to cover everything in gold” He rolls his eyes shaking his head. “She owned a gallery, it was a cover of course, but she did have an exceptional eye.”

Bucky nods and takes another drink.

“Oh look.” Zemo says suddenly pulling away from you. He leans over the edge of the pool a bit.”

“What?” Bucky frowns staring down into the water.

There is a playfulness in Zemo’s eyes that you spot easily enough because it is so rare, but Bucky is clueless and misses it, trying too hard to see what it is Zemo does. “There, look there. Don’t you see?” Zemo says pointing at the water. You press your lips together to keep from laughing. Is Bucky really falling for this? Knowing better, you take a large step back

“Hey, let me have a sip of your drink Bucky,” You offer grinning at Zemo.

Bucky hands it back to you without even looking.

For a solider really is oblivious sometimes.

With a wink for you, Zemo steps close and gives Bucky a single shove and you turn your head anticipating the splash as he goes over and into the water.

Your laughter rings out the moment you see his head pop up, his string of curses a mile long. Zemo’s half assed apologies are cute as he hands you his own drink and sheds his shirt and pants down to the black swim shorts so tight and high on his thighs that your voice suddenly catches in your throat at the sight. 'Damn' you smile watching as he dives in after Bucky. He comes up and they meet face to face in the water with a moment of lovely tension between them floating very close before they both beg you to join in, but you refuse and instead settle on the deck with your legs dangling over the edge and insist on staying put with your sangria and both of theirs as back up, promising them that you’re quite content to just watch —and what a show they put on.

What is it about swimming that turns men into boys?

No sooner are they in do they start to regress to childish antics, playing at fighting for no real reason other to antagonize one another.

When they get too rough you shout that they need to take a lap to cool off which only seems to ignite a fire in them both and they rush off in a mad dash attempting to out swim the other.

For your part you’ve never made a better suggestion as you get to sit and watch the way the sunlight sparkles across their wet, muscled backs and shoulders as they reach over and through the gentle waves they create, looking like a pair of Olympians with you as their goddess happy to simply sit and judge the form of their stroke— you laugh to yourself at your luck taking a long swallow of wine.

You manage to look away for a second and take in a very different view admiring how calm the ocean is this evening, but not for long as the sound of them coming back draws your attention. They race with youthful enthusiasm, showing off for you, and one another.

Hands grab the edge of the deck and soon a heated debate breaks out on either side of your legs as they fight over who won and you stifle a laugh knowing it was Bucky. “Don’t worry, you can beat him later” You tell Zemo, the double entendre not lost on him as you bend to kiss his dripping hair. He laughs a little at your awful humor and you’re certain you’ve never seen him so happy.

This world he’s brought you into is so removed from the real one, so perfect and serine that you know he’s done it to forget about the real one. He could have had you and Bucky meet him in a some dark hideout, some deep cave still gorgeous of course but he chose this because it feels most like something of his own creation and he does so love to be in control. Perhaps that’s what happens when one loses it so horribly…

“It’s nice to let him think he can win sometimes.” Zemo says and you shake the thoughts suddenly aware of his arm around your legs.

Bucky is smiling at the Baron’s words as he takes the glass from your hands and gulps down the rest.

“Hey!” You give his metal arm a smack.

“Thought you liked sharing” He teases licking his lips.

You roll your eyes but feel the need to glance at Zemo who is watching Bucky.

He’s being very patient but you can see how badly he wants him. You saw it the moment you landed. Having Bucky here is more than he thought he should hope for, but wanting him like this is agony. Bucky— with his arms up on pool side and water droplets sparkling as they trickle down the curve of his muscles, his dark hair slicked back, blue eyes fixed on Zemo and that small crooked smile taunting— is like the ripe, low hanging fruit of summer, ready to be plucked and tasted.

Still, knowing better than to push, Zemo lets go of you and calmly swims away, letting the water distract him. You look down at Bucky who turns, his eyes following the Baron.“Go on,” You urge gently. “Go to him.”

Bucky continues to observe in silence for a little longer. You’re surprised that he doesn’t seem confused or angry at your insistence. Instead he’s content to watch Helmut swim. It makes you smile, you’ve never seen Bucky this way, but then again you think back to the times you’ve caught him looking at you while you’re watching tv or out dancing and he thinks you aren’t paying attention. It’s very much like that, but softer.

Seeming determined, Bucky gives your leg a quick rub before pushing off the wall to join him.

They swim around one another for a moment meeting in the middle of the pool that must be no more than six feet deep as they stay afloat easily, but its hard for you to make out what they say at first. The mood is light though, the wine has Zemo feeling loose and Bucky is laughing, he even splashes Zemo once, but then you see a change come over them as the playfulness subsides.

As his smile eases, Bucky reaches and runs his thumb over Helmut’s brow to keep the water from his eyes. This subtle move causes the Baron to stop. He swims backwards just a bit and stands, his chest and shoulders out of the water now and Bucky follows him letting Zemo smooth his hand down along side Bucky’s face. Those hands that were aggressive in what must feel like a past life become soft and linger just a bit longer. Bucky doesn’t pull away from Zemo’s touch and you are so relieved to see it finally happening.

You’ve imagined this moment often. You’ve hoped for it, needed it, wanted it. You love them both in different ways, but to love them together— what could possibly be better than that? For a split second you imagine leather and safe words and quickly take another sip of wine looking away knowing that it can always get better.

Slicking his hair back from his face, Bucky smiles at the Baron with his sweet lips still wet from the water that trickles down his face as he stares at the older man and you can see that he’s thinking of the best way to say something, he’s so unsure but so ready for this. Helmut will guide him, you think with a smile.

“James,” Zemo says his name with such understanding and you hear him this time. “I’m going to stop playing games with you now.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky asks. He sinks into the water pushing back towards the deeper end but doesn’t go far.

Zemo just smiles sympathetically. He knows. Their flirtation, the bond made over sharing you, it’s all come down to this. This moment is the one that will change everything between them and Bucky is still fighting it, but not for much longer. “I think you’re still holding back for reasons that you don’t have to say right now,” He starts and comes towards him, until he is close again “Perhaps later when it’s dark you can tell me. But you don’t have to pretend. I know what it is you want because I want it too.” He says with a surprising amount of vulnerability and the perfect amount of warmth.

Bucky pushes a little closer, fighting against the water to stay near Zemo. You think he is in shock to hear the Baron say things like this. You also think you should leave but you can’t bring yourself to move. You’re also fairly certain they don’t remember you’re still here and if you distract them now it will ruin this moment.

“What do you think I want Zemo?” Bucky asks.

Zemo runs his hand over his face ridding it of water and takes Bucky by the shoulder, tilting his head as he looks into his eyes. “This.”

Both dominance and affection come into play as he grabs Bucky gently by the back of his head pulling the soldier into the softest kiss.

You try not to look, but the way they move— it’s like seeing two beautiful halves become whole. The strongest most masculine lines become soft and elegant; Helmut holding Bucky’s face so carefully, Bucky finally giving in. The tension melts into fluid movements until you think 'how could it have taken so long for something so natural to happen’. And then that slight shift takes hold. The caress becomes a clutch, the stroke becomes a grab. You see a flash of tongue as they flick and roll, fighting as the men had in the water.

But this isn’t a race to see who’s the fastest. You know who will win the battle.Bucky is breathing hard, and for the first time since you’ve known him you see a different side to him. It’s not easy to spot with the water moving their bodies, but as he holds onto Zemo, their foreheads touching now as their lips part for a moment, he seems smaller somehow, like he is holding onto Helmut because he is so eager to please him and ready to make the Baron happy and again you are shown your own feelings reflected back at you from the face of your friend.

Zemo kisses him lightly again but when he pulls away he tugs at Bucky’s lip just a little and the gasp that Bucky makes is so light you can’t hear it, but you feel it deep in your belly.

Fuck. You sigh through your nose and bite at your own bottom lip knowing exactly how it feels.

Keeping Bucky close, Zemo turns his head and opens his eyes on you.

It’s like being tossed into the high beams of a car on a dark road.

Zemo gives you a look that makes you put your glass down, slide out of your sweater and lower your head to him as you fall effortlessly into the roll you have missed so much. He motions for you come in the pool and this time you do not object.

You plunge in feet first and swim over with your head held above water, your eyes fixed on the men who wait. You reach them and feel his hand grab your arm, the look in his eyes speaking volumes. He doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t have to. He just plants a warm, wet kiss on your lips.

You grab onto him pulling yourself close, saddling onto his thigh as you hope to feel a fraction of what he just shared with Bucky. It’s different of course, but still there, after all this is something truly special —magical even.

When Helmut breaks the kiss Bucky takes his place and you feel that spark ignite between the two of you until he smiles against your lips well aware of what he’s just started.

You know the Baron is watching and as you turn your head just a little, you see him reach and touch Bucky’s face but his eyes have gone just a bit dark, the wheels of thought turning quickly in his mind. “Lets get out.” He says and takes a deep breath.

“I think it’s time James learns the rules.”

#zemo x reader #bucky barnes x you #winterbaron #winterbaron x you #zemo fanfic #now kiss #baron zemo #baron zemo fanfiction #helmut zemo #james barnes #james buchanan barnes #helmut zemo x reader #zemo smut #bucky barnes smut

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letsgivethisonemoreshot · 3 years

Text

Hot Sauce Inspiration

So, one day I was eating Taco Bell. And they have these little sayings on their hot sauce packets. I looked at one, and the phrase caused a little story to pop into my head and I texted it to a friend. Then another packet inspired another part. So I went to look at the rest and see if any others could spark anything in my weird brain, and here we are. The packets are bolded. This thirst trap was sponsored by Taco Bell. Practice safe eating. Use condiments.

Word Count: 1,797

Warnings: Language, mentions of sexual situations

You were known around the locker room for having a bit of an attitude. Not that you were a bully, but if there was something you wanted to say, most times you didn’t hold back where others would. Some would say you lacked a filter. Others would say you’re outspoken. You said that you just told the truth, and if people didn’t like that about you they could go screw themselves. It didn’t stop you from making friends, far from it. But it did rub some the wrong way.

You were currently in a hallway, still in your ring gear from your earlier match talking with Alexa Bliss. She was someone who you had gotten really close too. You had a lot in common which made you great travel buddies and had yet to get tired of spending so much time with each other. Somehow your conversation steered to making fun of Drew McIntyre. Again. He seemed to be one of your favorite people to rip on as of late. There was just something about him that got under your skin. Lately he had really become a leader in the locker room. Taking people under his wing, making sure they stayed out of trouble, helping them out. Which was great, but it never seemed to stop. He was the adult version of a goody two shoes and at times he kind of made you want to throw up. Not that you hid that. You’ve said it to people before. He’d probably even been around to hear it himself. He knew you talked about him. However, you weren’t aware that his match had finished, and he was now backstage, walking up behind you.

He startled you by clearing his throat behind you. You turned around to see him standing opening a water bottle as sweat dripped down his chest.

“You know it’s rude to interrupt people,” You shot at him. “What do you want?”

“You know it’s rude to talk about people behind their back,” He retorted, taking a swig of his water.

“Get lost McIntyre,” You rolled your eyes.

“Are ya sure you want me to lass?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “I mean you do an awful lot of talking about someone you claim to not be fond of.”

Alexa, sensing the tension in the air, excused herself to go and “get ready for her match”, leaving the two alone. You scoffed.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You know, if there’s something you want to talk to me about, I’m right here.”

You barely let him finish his sentence before you started speaking. “Nope. Not too fond of you. Don’t need you. You can go find someone else around here to go and “help out” and play the fatherly figure to. I don’t have daddy issues. I’m good.”

Drew chuckles, leaning in a bit closer to you . His voice now deeper, and in a much more serious tone than he usually used.

“You keep telling yourself that princess. But we both know I can have you begging and calling me Daddy by the end of the night.”

“In your dreams McIntyre,” You said pushing passed him before he was able to see how flushed your cheeks had gotten at his comment.

He smirked before drinking his water again. “We’ll see about that,” He said to himself as he watched you walk away.

You spent the rest of the night trying to avoid Drew. You didn’t want any further interaction with him. He may act nice, but he was just a big old brute trying to abuse his power. And you would rather die than admit seeing him all sweaty and acting in charge actually turned you on. Once the show was over, you wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. You were dressed and ready to go, standing by the back door with your suitcase waiting for Alexa. You weren’t completely alone though. The hustle and bustle of the crew members packing everything up and your co-workers were leaving and wandering around the area. You tapped your foot impatiently while looking through your phone waiting for your friend. You had tuned out all of the noise around you and hadn’t realized someone had walked up behind you. Only noticing when the wheels of their suitcase came to a stop. You could sense who it was without turning around. His presence shadowing over you. He wasn’t touching you. He didn’t say anything to you. He wasn’t even making any effort to actually tell you that he was there, other than being a little too close. Doing it purposely to annoy you.

“Can you back up a step or two McIntyre? You’re in my personal space,” You said without taking your eyes off of your phone.

He chuckled deeply. “Don’t kid yourself. You know you want me in your personal space.”

“Seriously, my perfume is rather expensive and I’d rather smell like it than whatever you had for dinner and are breathing on me.”

“What crawled up your ass today princess? You’re even more vile than usual.”

You sighed, trying to show disgust at the nickname he always chose to call you. Just the tone in how he said it gave you goosebumps. “Can you stop calling me that? I do have a name you know.”

“I think I see the problem,” He said, ignoring you as he leaned down closer so that no one else would be able to hear what he said. “It’s that no one has crawled up your ass in a while, isn’t it?”

Your eyes grew wide at his comment. Thankfully he couldn’t see that. You felt your cheeks getting warmed as you awkwardly shuffled from one foot to another. Drew had never come back at you like this before, and you couldn’t believe that he had said what he did with other people around.

“You are disgusting McIntyre. So much for being a gentleman,” You finally brought yourself to say.

“I’m a gentleman to those who deserve it. You princess, do not deserve it. You seem to like to aggravate me and bring the ungentlemanly side out of me.”

“Or maybe deep down you’re just a nasty guy who isn’t as nice as everyone thinks?” You suggest, trying to sound unphased even though your heart is beating so fast you can hear it in your ears.

Drew smirked behind you. “Whatever you need to tell yourself lass. But if you feel like not being such a bitch anymore and getting the attitude fucked out of you, a little birdie told me we were staying at the same hotel tonight. I’m in room 224. Don’t take too long. I won’t wait forever.”

You couldn’t stop fidgeting around in the car ride to the hotel. You hadn’t been paying any attention to what Alexa was saying. If she was even talking, she could have just been singing along with her music for all you knew. The only thing that was playing in your head was Drew’s sudden change of character towards you. You wanted to be so annoyed at him, walking around thinking he was God’s gift to the wrestling world and all women. The frustrating, stupid, sexy Scotsman.

No wait, you didn’t mean to think that.

Even when you got to the hotel room, you weren’t able to settle down. You couldn’t stay in one place. You’d wander around the room, looking out the window, going into the bathroom and sorting things. Eventually, Alexa asked you what was wrong knowing this wasn’t usual behavior for you.

“Nothing. I’m just restless,” You lied. I’ve spent three of the last four days scrunched inside a car. I just need some air. I think I’m gonna go out for a jog. I’ll try and shower quietly when I get back if you’re asleep.”

You grabbed your hotel key and walked towards the door.

“Okay, thanks. But I want details in the morning,” Alexa smiled as you reached the doorknob.

You didn’t reply to her before leaving the room. You couldn’t verbally admit that she was right about what she was insinuating. In face, you were already mentally yelling at yourself for even considering it. But that didn’t stop your legs from continuing to walk to the elevator. You were thankful the hallway was empty when you stepped off of the elevator. The last thing you wanted was anyone to see you. But you still hesitated once you got to his door, debating on turning around and going back to your own room. But after a moment, you knocked. It didn’t take long for Drew to open the door. Once he saw it was you, he smirked and leaned against the door frame.

“What brings you here princess? Couldn’t sleep?”

You were conflicted. You made it all the way down here. And now you would like for him to let you inside before someone can see you outside of his hotel room at 12:30 in the morning. But, at the same time, that would mean you were inside of Drew’s room. A thought that still made your stomach jump. Finally your mouth was able to speak up, throwing out one of your normal sarcastic replies.

“Are you man enough to help me out with my problem or not McIntyre?” You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest.

Drew dropped his head, slightly laughing before stepping aside and allowing you to enter the room. You walked in, holding your head high, hoping you were coming across as being confident. Because at the moment it felt like your bones were about to turn to jelly and you’d just melt into the floor. You still couldn’t believe that you were here. Because he brought it up. And some part of you thought it was a good idea.

You watched stoically as he shut and locked the door before turning around to you. He pulled his shirt off as he walked closer to you in the dimly lit room. If only he knew just how many times you had fallen asleep at night to this scenario playing in your head. He stopped in front of you. You looked up into his eyes and saw them turn to an icy blue. The energy about him had changed. He wasn’t the charming goofball he usually was. And it was turning all of your bad energy to mush.

“Just so you know, I don’t plan on being gentle with you princess. I’m going to play with you until you break and finally learn some manners, understand? If that’s not something you’re up for, the door is right there. I suggest you use it now.”

For the first time, you spoke to him in a shaky whisper, “I’m okay with that”.

#drew mcintyre #drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre oneshot #drew mcintyre fanfic #wwe fanfiction #drew mcintyre fanfiction #drew galloway #drew mcintyre imagine

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hotchscvm · 3 years

Text

love me, hate me - part two

Warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing

Word count: 3.3k

Summary: Christmas comes around and Ransom wants you more than ever.

part one

"You're telling me you actually want to date this guy? The one who can't even make you cum?" you asked, licking the remaining frosting from your finger. You placed the messy bowl in the sink, watching your best friend trying—and failing—to get the egg shells out of the mixture.

Meg gave up, dumping the brownie batter down the sink with the water running, fed up with the shells. "Yeah, but sex isn't everything, you know. I don't know—it's just this guy isn't like my exes. He genuinely cares about my feelings, and doesn't control me. Besides, he made me cum a few times. He's nice."

With Mariah Carey's Christmas music playing in the background, the miniature Christmas tree on the table, and the snow falling, the Thrombey household felt festive. Although, the people bundled up and arguing in the next room—not so much. Yet, neither of you cared while you continued to work, helping Martha out, on the desserts. It wasn't going as well as planned, but you took it as a positive considering you hadn't started a fire. Yet.

"Ah, yes, nice. Can't relate. I'm currently attracted to assholes who have anger issues." you commented, passing Meg the flour once again. Your creation was in the oven, and all you hoped was that no one got food poisoning because of it. Even you couldn't live with the guilt of Ransom, or his touchy father, throwing up Christmas morning.

"Currently?" Meg asked, raising an eyebrow, getting eggs out of the fridge for the hundredth time. She glanced at the direction of the door, the sound of it opening drawing both of your attention. "I'm pretty sure your daddy issues didn't just happen recently. Speaking of which, you may be the main reason Ransom decided to come back for Christmas instead chasing a model around."

You rolled your eyes, sitting back in your chair while contemplating whether or not it's too late to ditch. While Ransom was hot, his spoiled attitude wasn't worth tolerating for a quick fuck. With sarcasm dripping, you sighed. "Oh, how wonderful. 'Cause, that's exactly what I need right now."

Meg chuckled, focusing on the task at hand, trying not get shells in the mixture again. She had held off on mixing the dry stuff, much to your dismay, but to her it made sense to get the hard part out of the way so it wouldn't fuck everything up. Your best friend had just finished cracking her last egg when Harlan walked into the kitchen, Ransom trailing a few feet behind him. The playboy's eyes immediately landed on you, yet you didn't meet his, too preoccupied with the phone in your hands.

Harlan's slight frown lifted into a smile, surveying how messy the kitchen had gotten. "My, my, I wasn't aware a cake had exploded in my kitchen."

Looking up, you grinned at the old man, the smile reaching your eyes until you saw who was behind him. Ignoring Ransom, you giggled at Harlan's remark. "You call it a mess, we call it baking."

"As long as you ladies are having fun." Harlan replied, patting your shoulder before heading off towards his office, too tired to deal with his dysfunctional family at the moment.

Ransom lingered, walking up to you, a smirk impended on his face. Yet, you refocused you're attention back on your phone while Meg left the room, her apron still attached to her. You didn't question her sudden disappearance, knowing she was just as annoyed at Ransom's presence. The man in question peeked over you shoulder to see your screen showing off another man's dick, the words right below it explicit.

His jaw clenched in jealousy. Much to his chagrin, the man's dick was just as big as his own. But, he kept the icy exterior up. "Would it be offensive to ask whether or not your baking will make me sick this evening?"

You scoffed without looking up, tapping out of the dick pic your previous hook up had sent. "Since when do you care if you're offensive or not? Who are you, and what have you done to Ransom Drysdale?"

Ransom shrugged, leaning against the kitchen island while facing your annoyed expression. His smug behavior got under your skin, and the bastard was well aware. "Maybe all this Christmas spirit got into me. Or maybe I'm trying to be nice."

You raised an eyebrow, getting off your chair, rushing to the window, pretending to be looking for something. After a few seconds, Ransom's curiosity got the best of him and he joined you, looking for anything unusual outside. The snow-covered land showed nothing out of the ordinary, furthering Ransom's confusion.

"What are you looking at? I can't see anything." he said, squinting at the general direction you had look at.

Shrugging, you moved back to your seat, propping your elbows on the back of the chair, allowing a smug smirk lift your lips. "I thought pigs were flying. Ransom Drysdale isn't capable of being nice, yet alone say the word. I'm shocked hell hadn't freeze over. Yet."

The playboy rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he took your body in, wrapped in his favorite color, the dress hugging your curves. "What's a guy have to do to be taken seriously with you? You and I both know I can give you everything you want, and more."

"Are you trying to buy me right now?" you asked, half teasing, half annoyed. Ransom could not take a hint, and you hated the fact that he didn't back off despite the sarcasm and insults you threw his way.

"I'm trying to be nice but you're making it really hard." Ransom answered, his cockiness wearing off. He was growing frustrated the more you looked at him like he was a piece of trash. All you wanted him to be was nice, now that he was trying to be, you wouldn't believe his intentions, despite wanting to prove it to you.

Pursing your lips, you tapped your finger against the table, the acrylic nail making a clicking noise. "You wanna prove it? Fine. You've got til midnight tonight. If you're unable to change my mind, you have to buy me my spring break vacation, all the fees and expenses."

"And if I do change your mind..." Ransom smirked, brushing a stray hair behind your ear, earning a half-hearted glare. "... you have to go on a date with me."

Ransom nearly burst out laughing from your shocked expression, the genuine look of surprised slapped on your face with the words. You shut your hanging jaw, still not processing what he was saying. "Excuse me?"

"You have to go on a date with me if I convince you that I'm willing to change my, and I quote, 'bratty and douchebag ways.' An actual date where we sit down, eat dinner, talk about our feelings, and get drunk. Whatever happens, happens." Ransom purred, placing a finger on your bottom lip. You slapped his hand away, and his smirked grew. "Are you going to back out of this already, princess?"

It was your stubborn side that made agree, pressing your lips into a thin line, you grabbed Ransom's hand, shaking it. He raised an eyebrow while you sighed. "You're on. Hope you have enough money to pay for a lengthy trip. I plan on drinking every bottle of wine in Italy."

Despite your baking debacle, you left the kitchen, leaving Meg's monstrous creation on the counter along with Ransom. You went into the living room, trying to find the girl in question when you happened to stumble upon Richard. He barely got to say a word before you turned around, and left the pervert behind. It was always a puzzle how Ransom turned out so hot with Richard and Linda as parents.

Climbing the stairs, you heard the family arguing growing quieter with each step. The second floor was almost a safe haven considering Harlan didn't let anyone raise their voice in the upper level, making it the only quiet place in the house, safe from any Thrombey fights. It was a wonder how the family hadn't murdered each other yet; it was only a matter of time.

Unable to find Meg in your shared room, you sighed, patting your body to find your phone only to realize you left it in the kitchen. With Ransom.

"Looking for this?" Ransom held out your phone, coming up behind you. His usual smirk was gone, a small, genuine smile in its place. It made him look less arrogant.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

You took your phone back, half expecting him to take it back just as you wrapped your fingers around it. But he didn't. You realized he was pulling out all the stops, all the little things that you found annoying was gone. He was acting. Eyes narrowing, you unlocked your phone, studying him. "Thanks. I think."

"Meg is helping the Brazilian maid." Ransom answered your silent question. Your thumb hovered her contact, going back to the home screen. Your eyebrows had risen by his mis-categorization of Martha's race and employment. "Pretty sure they went to the grocery store or something."

"Oh, okay." you replied lamely, putting your phone in your back pocket, the tight jeans making it nearly impossible. Opening the door to your room, you stepped in, not giving Ransom another look. But he followed inside, making you turn around. "Do you need something?"

Ransom stuffed his hands in his pockets, the cream-colored sweater shifting with the gesture. "You didn't exactly give me much time to prove myself. And looking around, we're all alone. I can't think of a better time."

As much as you hated to admit it, he had a point. The bet was a bit unfair considering how stubborn you were, and the amount of time he had to convince you. But it was a bit unsettling seeing Ransom try so hard, let alone being nice. You nodded, agreeing. "Fine, but can I change first? I'd rather not be covered in flour while you try to seduce me."

"You and I both know I wouldn't seduce you before dinner. There's no way in hell I'd treat you like the others." he mumbled to himself, but you heard it. Clearing his throat, he stepped out of the room. "Yeah, I'll be outside. Waiting. Take your time."

As soon as the door closed, you looked around the room to check if you were being pranked, expecting Ashton Kutcher to burst out of the closet along with a bunch of cameramen. After a few seconds, you came to the conclusion that Supernatural was in this universe, deciding "Ransom" was a shapeshifter or a demon possessed him. It was the only reasonable explanation.

Reaching for the hem of your top, pulling it off in one swift move, dropping it on the bed. Your jeans piling on top, allowing your legs to breathe. Despite Joni's hippie side, she had let Meg sneak in a few joints, the smell becoming stronger as you neared both your suitcases. You didn't think Harlan would be too please to have weed in his house, no matter how lenient he is.

You took your time, a little baffled by what to wear. Ransom hadn't exactly given you an agenda on his plans, leaving you to grab a clean pair of black jeans, and a classy, yet simple, red top. You looked decent enough to fit in a nice restaurant, but casual in case Ransom decided he wanted McDonald's, and most importantly: warm. If he wanted to take you to the North Pole, then he'd have to give you his cozy-looking sweater.

You opened the door, the sight of Ransom rocking on his heels greeting you. His back was to you, his hands inside his pockets as he looked out the window, frost crawling along the edges. It genuinely concerned you how much this man was acting; if you didn't know better, you'd think it was real.

Clearing your throat, you watched him jump in surprise, quickly turning to you. Raising an eyebrow, you tucked your phone in your pocket, meeting his warm, blue eyes. "I'm ready."

"Okay." said Ransom, motioning for you to follow him. You walked down the stairs without a word, the air becoming thick as you walked behind him. The sweater did little to no good disguising his broad shoulders, the muscles somehow still visible under the clothing.

As soon as you reached the bottom, you glanced around, the Thrombey fighting becoming louder with each second. It wouldn't be long before one of them stormed out of the room, muttering a curse under their breath. You'd seen all of them do it at least once. You crossed your arms, wary of whatever Ransom was planning. "Be honest, you're not just going to drive me off to the middle of the woods and murder me, are you?"

Ransom chuckled, giving you a wink as he held his hand out. Without hesitation, you took it. "If I was planning to murder you, I wouldn't do it in the woods. If you're going to die, it's going to be epic."

"Oh, well, that makes me feel better." you sneered sarcastically, instantly rolling your eyes. In the back of your mind, you pondered how long it would take for your eyes to get stuck in your brain with the amount of times you rolled them at Ransom.

He led you towards the door, smirking. "You ready?"

"No. Let's go."

—

"Fuck, baby."

He spent a few moments just staring at your spread pussy, amazed and aching for you more than he ever ached for anything.

"Don't you know why I want you to see it, Ransom?"

Ransom just shook his head without taking his eyes off the your pneumatic body.

"Because it's yours," you sighed. "All yours, baby. You're the one I've been keeping it nice and fresh for."

"Fuck," he muttered.

He kept staring at you, waiting for you to rub you pussy again, but you didn't. You just kept holding it spread.

"Don't you wanna taste me, Ransom?" you purred, barely above a whisper. "C'mon, baby, please. I want you to lick it so bad. I love you so much and I want to give you everything that belongs to you."

The playboy was all but paralyzed by your words. He finally dragged his eyes off your open pussy and looked at your face. You were staring back at him with a glazed look in your eyes. His solid cock was pulsing hard in the tight grip of his fist. No girl had ever looked at him the way you were at that very moment, yet at the same time, he knew you were playing with the hottest kind of fire there was.

"Sweetheart, you know this wasn't the deal." he whispered, distracted.

You smirked. "But you still won."

He finished the thought by leaning down and sliding his tongue up and over your generously offered pussy. You pulled in a sharp gasp when Ransom's tongue lit up your heavily tingling pussy. Your hips rolled instantly in response, your gasps turning to moans while Ransom eagerly slathered his tongue all around your creamily delicious slit. He soon focused his attention on your clit and slipped a finger up inside your hole at the same time.

The man's finger curled and twisted inside you, searching for you g spot while he suckled and lapped at your fully swollen clit. You could barely form words as you gasped and moaned, your luscious body now writhing with desire.

Your pussy oozed heavily the more he licked and fingered you. Your cream was sweet, tangy and intensely intoxicating. Ransom probed at your hole with his finger and the tip of his tongue at the same time, but he soon drew his soaking wet finger out of your hole and wedged it between your ass cheeks, searching for your puckered rimhole.

You gasped deeply and lifted your legs up higher, giving Ransom better access to your asshole. He massaged your tight bud with his honey-coated finger and made deep, hungry love to your pussy with his mouth.

"God god god god, Ransom!" you cried, your hips rolling harder and harder against the man's mouth and finger.

Your body went tense for a few moments and then relaxed. Ransom backed off and watched you languish after your orgasm, pausing briefly to catch your breath. Then you shifted your body and took the hem of your outfit into your hands and peeled it off over your head. Ransom pulled off his T shirt and slid over on top of your luscious body, grinding his rock-hard cock against your pussy as he lowered himself to kiss you.

You whimpered while Ransom's chest mashed down against your heavy, naked tits. They felt amazing against his body, and he was beyond reason when the your mouth opened and set your tongue into motion against his.

Ransom had never kissed any girl so hard or hungrily in his life. Nor had any kissed him back the way you had. At the same time, you were grinding your slick, wet pussy against his cock as hard as he was grinding against you. Then he squeezed his hands in between them and grasped at your tits, kneading them eagerly with his strong hands.

He released your mouth and said," Baby girl, reach down there and put my cock inside you for me. I need that pussy bad, but I can't bring myself to let go of these fantastic tits now that I finally have my hands on them."

You giggled happily and kissed him again while you worked your hands down between your naked bodies. Finally, you got one hand on your pussy and spreading yourself open while you wrapped the other around Ransom's thick cock.

"Oh geezus, fuck, Ransom, you're so fucking hard," you cooed. "Oh god fuck me deep."

You tucked Ransom's cock head into your wet maw and he began grinding his shaft deeper into your sheath. Your pussy felt so tight and creamy, and you both groaned as his rock-hard flesh gradually filled your body. You looked at each other in disbelief, even though nothing had ever felt more right or natural.

Ransom growled as he began to pump his cock in and out of your spectacular body with long strokes. His grip on your tits went tighter and he lowered his head to suck and lick on your swollen nipples.

You whimpered with pleasure, wrapping your legs around his hips and grinding your pussy hard against his thrusting cock. It wasn't long before he was straining to hold on and keep fucking you deep and hard. You didn't make it any easier because of the way you were moaning and your cunt squeezed his pounding cock every time you came.

Finally, Ransom raised himself up on his hands while he pumped your succulent pussy hole as hard and fast as he could, watching your pretty face twist with pleasure while your tits heaved with the force of his lunging body.

"Gimme your cum, baby. I want it in me...fuck!"

With a final, frenzied volley of full body thrusts, Ransom's pulsing cock exploded in your pussy, filling you with a hot flow of jetting spunk.

After, they spent a long time kissing while Ransom caressed the your beautiful tits. He kept his cock buried inside you until his flesh finally started to relax.

You fell asleep in each other's arms, and Ransom knew he had the girl he always needed right there with him. He had been right, all the sarcastic comments and stupid fights had been worth it.

In the morning, Ransom awoke from a haze of dreams to look down and find you lying between his legs with your lips sliding up and down his swollen cock. When you realized he was awake and watching you, you released his big cock from your mouth, giving his shaft a long lick before greeting him.

"Merry Christmas, Ransom."

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #reader insert #ransom drysdale smut #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #knives out #chris evans imagines #ransom drysdale imagine

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girl-with-cat-eyes · 3 years

Text

Wednesdays

Summary: Wednesdays are Janus Picani's busiest day. Between meetings, snack day, soccer practice, and art club, he's running around like a chicken with his head cut off. This Wednesday, however, is sure to change the lives of the Picani family forever. Jan's sure they can handle it though.

Ships: Platonic Moceit, thvi

A/N: I've been rewatching the old Reba sitcom from the 2000s and I'd forgotten just how good it was. Good enough that I wanted to write an au for it. Thank you so much to @amazon-me-bitches and my lovely qpp @forever-forgotten-angel for beta reading this and helping me to work out the kinks with the plot. As always, leave a comment if you like this. Enjoy!

For most people, Mondays were their busiest day. It made sense; returning to the workweek, school, etc. For Janus Picani, however, the title of busiest day went to Wednesday. His firm always had partner meetings, they were Emile’s day to bring class snacks, Remy had soccer, and Virgil had art club. On top of that, Jan’s therapy sessions were Wednesdays, which meant he had to make sure all of his work was done 15 minutes early so he could get to his appointment on time. Safe to say, to say Wednesdays weren’t exactly his favorite day.

“Emile! Get down here! You don’t want to be late for school!”, He called upstairs as he finished making breakfast sandwiches. Virgil stood across from him, packing lunches for his brothers.

“He probably can’t find his backpack. He left it down here after he finished his homework.”

Janus sighed, “This wouldn’t be a problem if he just left his backpack down here every night. Remy go get your brother and tell him his backpack is down here.”, the young boy got up, rolling his eyes and Jan had to bite back a sigh. Remy had always been his sassiest child.

“Why can’t Virgil do it?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him, “Because I’m making lunch, I can go get him if you want to make your own sandwich ?”, Remys shook his head and ran upstairs, Virgil chuckling at the sight.

Janus finished plating breakfast and turned to thank Virgil, frowning when he saw that Virgil had only made two lunches. He looked pointedly at his son, “You’re not eating?”, he asked.

Virgil shrugged, “I’m gonna get lunch at school today. They’re having burritos.”, Janus nodded. As long as he was eating. Patton came downstairs before he could reply, Remy and Emile in tow.

“I found these two trying to play on the Switch.”, Emile and Remy sat down, guilty little grins on their faces that told Jan that they didn’t regret it, “Good thing I went to check on them.” “Good thing indeed.” He handed Pat a plate, pouting a cup of coffee for his husband? Ex? Janus wasn’t sure what to call the man he’d been married to for 20 years, separated from, hadn’t divorced, and who still lived in the house with. Regardless he poured him a cup of coffee, “Ok so you’re taking Emile and Remy to school and I’ll take Virgil. I’ll pick up Remy and you pick up Emile and-” “-and I’m catching a ride home with Thomas after theater. I’m working on the sets for Little shop today.”, Virgil piped up and Jan had to hold back a grimace at the mention of his boyfriend. He like Thomas, he really did. In terms of high school boyfriends, Thomas had been nothing but a gentleman. But the thought of his son dating still upset Janus deep down; according to his therapist, he was grappling with the thought of his baby growing up.

“Ok.”, he replied, keeping his thoughts to himself. It wouldn’t do any good to speak them when they were his problem to deal with, “I’ll pick up takeout on the way home.”

“Jan? I was wondering if you’d want to come to the restaurant today for lunch?”, He turned to look at Patton. Based on the tone in his voice Janus knew that this wasn’t just a friendly invitation to taste a new menu item. He sighed: he’d been planning to work through his lunch today so he could get out on time.

Regardless, this seemed serious, “Ok. I’ll be there at noon.”, he promised. He quickly finished his breakfast and looked over to Virgil, “Ready to go?”, he asked. He nodded and finished pouring his iced coffee and they were off.

The ride to Virgil’s school was as quick as always. Music played lowly on the radio, lowly on the radio and Janus hummed along. It would be peaceful if not for the fact that Virgil kept fidgeting and staring out the window. Something was up, “Ok. Something’s wrong. Spill.” Virgil turned to look at him, “What? Nothing’s wrong.”, He straightened his face, trying to appear calm. Janus didn’t buy it for a second, “I’m fine.” “Virgil James Picani. I have known you since you were born. I have held you for night after night. I know you inside out. And I know when you’re lying to me. What’s wrong? Is someone bothering you?” Virgil shook his head. “No. It’s just that Mr.Prince, the drama teacher, wants me to be Seymore’s understudy. And I know the chances of me going on stage are rare but I don’t want to take that chance. And I don’t know how to tell him without letting him down.” “Baby bat, just tell him the truth. I’m sure he’ll understand.”, Virgil nodded. The issue seemed to be solved, yet Janus had a feeling that there was something else wrong. But before he could ask any more, they’d arrived and Virgil was getting out. “Love you, Dad! I’ll see you after school!”, Janus shook his head, trying to keep his concerns down. He’d ask Virgil after school. It was fine.

Being a lawyer certainly had its perks; financial security being a prime example. Meetings running long weren’t that though. Janus sighed as he rushed into Pat’s. The warm lighting and delicious smells greeting him. Even if he’d preferred to work through his lunch, Janus couldn’t deny that the thought of Patton’s cooking made his mouth water. There was a reason people came from near and far to this place.

Speaking of Patton, Janus spotted the bespectacled man sitting in their usual booth, a bottle of wine waiting there. He smiled at the thought and sat down, “I thought you weren’t a fan of day drinking?”, he quipped. Pat rarely drank at all, but especially not during the day. “I’m not but I know you don’t mind a glass of wine at lunch.”, Pat poured him a glass, “Salmon or duck?” “Salmon.”, Janus answered. Patton made a delicious pan-seared salmon with risotto and kale salad. It was delicious and sounded lovely right now. Patton nodded and ordered that for him and glazed crispy duck for himself. “So.”, he began as he buttered a roll, “What did you want to discuss?” “Who says I have something to discuss? Maybe I just wanted to have lunch with you?”, He was stalling obviously. Trying to get time to steel his nerves.

Janus raised an eyebrow at him, “You and I know very well that Wednesday is our busy day. If you wanted to just have lunch you would have asked on another day. Therefore this is something important that you don’t want to talk about in front of the kids. So what do you want to discuss?” Patton sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Whatever he wanted to talk about was weighing heavily on his mind. After some time he finally spoke, “I want to finalize our divorce.”, he spoke quickly, like he wanted to get the words out of his mouth as fast as he could.

Janus nodded; he supposed it made sense. They had been separated for over a year now, they slept in separate bedrooms, and they hadn’t had sex since long before they separated. While they still cared for each other, the love they once shared was long gone. The only reason they were still married was the cost of getting a divorce. Considering they’d spent 20 dollars on a courthouse wedding neither had been too happy to shill out thousands of dollars to end their marriage.

The question was why now, and why couldn’t he say it in front of the kids. They’d sat them down months ago and explained that while they loved each other and would always be a family, they weren’t in love anymore. Virgil had taken in the best; being the oldest, he’d seen the signs for a while now. He’d taken it upon himself to comfort his younger brothers. Remy tried to pretend that he was fine, but both Janus and Patton knew better. He’d taken the thought of his family splitting up harder than he was showing. They’d both spoken to him about it, reassuring him that they’d always be a family. And they’d started having family activities every Saturday. Emile had taken it the hardest. The six-year-old didn’t truly understand what was going on. They were still having conversations explaining what it meant. Janus had even begun researching child psychologists at the recommendation of his therapist.

“Ok.”, He spoke, “Why now though? I thought we’d agreed that divorces are too expensive…. You met someone.”, the realization hit Janus like a ton of bricks. Everything made sense. Pat would feel guilty about pursuing someone else while married, even if they were separated. And he wouldn’t want to talk about this in front of the kids until he knew for sure that it was serious.

Patton nodded, “I did.”

“Well, tell me about him. I care about you regardless of our marital status. And I want to know about the person you’ll be bringing around our kids.”

“Ok. His name is Logan and I met him a few weeks ago. He came in here for dinner and he’s just the cutest. He got so excited when he found out we use crofters in our thumbprint cookies and our victoria sponge.” Patton smiled fondly at the thought, “We’ve been on a few dates and… It’s not just a fling. I can see a future with him, Jan.”

Jan took a sip of wine, “Ok. I’ll ask around for good lawyers when I get back.”,

Patton squealed and hugged him, “Thank you so much Jan. Maybe I could invite him over for dinner sometime. That way you could meet him and I could introduce him to the kids.”, Their food came at that moment, which meant Patton had to stop hugging him. Janus was thankful; he’d never been the type for hugging. Except with his kids.

“Ok. But you have to tell them about the divorce first. Deal?” “Deal.”

Virgil was generally considered a good kid by his peers and teachers. Quiet perhaps, but overall a good kid. He didn’t break rules, got good grades, and overall kept to himself. The one anomaly about him was that he was dating Thomas sanders, or rather that Thomas Sanders was dating him. Thomas was a bright and outgoing person; if this was a 2000s sitcom, he might have been considered popular. Not only that, but he had a fairly popular youtube channel where he did skits, challenges, and more. Virgil barely even had social media. They were a couple regardless, and Virgil was known as a good kid.

He didn’t feel like a good kid as he watched the Chipotle employee make his bowl. He’d signed himself out of school early along with Thomas, and now they were getting lunch. The thought of skipping school kept buzzing around his head, even though he’d gotten all of his assignments from the classes he’d be missing. Besides he had bigger problems to worry about.

He sat down beside his boyfriend and took a bite of his food, “What am I going to do?” He asked in a small voice, fear lacing his tone. Thomas reached across the booth and squeezed his hand.

Hey,”, Thomas whispered, his voice soft and reassuring, “It’ll be ok. I’ll be right here no matter what.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”, Thomas squeezed his hand, “Now really eat, you skipped lunch yesterday.”, Virgil nodded and the rest of lunch passed silence. The pair simply enjoying their food together. Virgil grinned and poured queso onto his bowl and smiled at his boyfriend.

“You’re so cute.”, he whispered. Thomas blushed at the compliment and Virgil considered it a win. Sooner enough they were done with their meal. Virgil stood up and gathered their trash, “I’m gonna go the bathroom.” “Ok”, Thomas nodded, “I love you no matter what.”. Virgil smiled and went to the bathroom, anxiety twisting his stomach in knots.

Janus sighed as he drove home. Patton had messaged him earlier that he was making dinner and Jan didn’t have to pick up any takeout. Of course, that made Jan’s life easier, but it also meant that they were going to talk over the divorce with the kids. Great. He peered at Remy in the backseat, sipping his chocolate milk without a care in the world. God sometimes Jan wished he were a child still. Childhood was so much easier, “I think your Dad is making dinner tonight.” Remy looked at him, “I thought we were going to pick up takeout?” “He messaged me saying that I don’t need to pick up any food.”, Remy nodded and smiled before looking back out the window. Janus understood: Patton was an amazing cook. Hopefully, they’d all be able to eat after this. God, how would Remy react? He’d already taken the separation hard. And Emile, he barely understood what divorce was. And Virgil, the oldest, the one who buried his feelings the most. He probably wouldn’t want to talk about it and would bury his feelings to help his brothers.

They pulled into the garage, Remy grabbing his stuff and running inside, “Take off your shoes and change before you get mud all over the house.’, he called after him. Janus took his time collecting his things. ‘Just go in. Better to get it over with.’, his thoughts raced around his head like an angry swarm of bees. He took a deep breath and walked inside.

The smell of garlic and tomatoes washed over his sense, Patton was making Italian food. He took a deep breath, enjoying the smells. Patton stood next to the counter, buttering a long baguette for garlic bread. He looked up and gave a reassuring smile, but Janus could see the nervousness in his eye, at least he wasn’t alone in the feeling, “Hey.” He greeted, “The lasagna is almost done and I’m making garlic bread right now. There’s stuff for caesar salad in the fridge if you want to help out.”

Janus nodded and took off his jacket before washing his hands and making said salad, “Where’s Emile and Virgil?”, he asked, praying that he sounded casual. The salad offered a great distraction from his thoughts, greeting parmesan meant he didn’t have to focus on this upcoming family discussion.

“Virgil is helping Emile with his homework. He’s learning addition.”, Patton supplied as he put the bread on a tray, placing it in the oven. “There are brownies in the fridge. I figured we could make sundaes. Hopefully, it’ll make the conversation easier.”, Janus nodded. Remy and Emile might not realize it but Virgil would know something was up. Pat rarely made dessert on weekdays.

Soon enough dinner was done and all five of them were sitting around the table. Virgil still looked anxious and Janus wanted to bang his head off the table. There was no way he’d be able to ask what was wrong after this conversation. Why did this have to happen tonight?

Patton smiled, “So how was school guys?”, ‘Subtle Pat, subtle. Why don’t you just hang a banner above our heads that says We’re getting divorced’. Janus took a large sip of wine so his thoughts would stay in his head.

“Ok,” Remy spoke up. “But I keep getting headaches during the day. The lights in the class are too bright.”, This had been going on for a while now. The fluorescent lighting of the classroom seemed to give Remy migraines, and his teacher wasn’t budging on letting him wear sunglasses to prevent it.

“I’ll talk to your teacher in the morning.”

“My day was good Daddy.”, Emile grinned, “We learned about ecosystems.”, Janus smiled. Emile was so young and innocent.

“Virgil?”, The teenager in question looked up from where he’d been staring off into space. He took a quick bit of lasagna before speaking.

“It was fine.”

He was lying. Something was wrong and Virgil was trying to act like he was ok. Janus wanted to ask more questions, to figure out what was bothering his son. It wouldn’t work though. Virgil guarded his privacy with his life. Prying would only make him more tight-lipped. Janus just had to wait for Virgil to come to him with what was wrong, and in the meantime, hope that it wasn’t serious.

Besides, even if Janus thought it was a good idea to ask, there were other things at hand. Patton nodded to him and he knew it was time. “Your father and I have some news.”. Patton began. Janus held back a groan.

“Are we going to Disney World?”, Emile was practically bouncing in his seat at the thought of such a trip.

“No.”, Janus made a mental note to talk to Patton about a family vacation. Maybe it would help reassure Remy and Emile that they were all still a family. “It’s not that. You all know that we’re always going to be a family right? No matter what happens we’ll always be together.”, Virgil was ghostly pale and Remy had his fists clenched. He didn’t even have to say it. They knew.

His middle son jumped up, “No.” He was tearing up, “You promised.”

“Remy..”

“No! You said we’d always be together.”, Tears began running down his face. A knot formed in Janus’ throat. Why did they have to do this?

“And we will. No matter what.”, Patton tried to soothe. It was met on deaf ears.

“No, we won’t! That’s what they all say! They say nothing will change but it does. Next thing you know, you’re in different houses and splitting custody and no one will want me. And then I’ll be back in foster care.”

“Remy that won’t happen. We love you.”, Janus wanted to take his son in his arms. Wanted to hold all of his children and promise them that they still loved them all, and the divorce wouldn’t change that. But Remy ran upstairs, the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut echoing through the house.

“What’s going on?”, Emile’s face was contorted, confusion visible. Of course, he wouldn’t fully understand what was going on. The six-year-old had barely understood the separation.

Patton sighed and knelt down next to him, “Your father and I are finalizing our divorce. We won’t be married anymore.” Emile blinked.

“Why? I thought you weren’t getting one?” Patton sighed, “Things have changed.”, Emile blinked at him. This was going wrong. It was too soon. They should have eased them into this idea. Shouldn’t have sprung it on them like this.

Understanding bloomed in Emile’s face. His next words were a whisper, so quiet that Janus almost didn’t hear them. But he did, and it felt like getting hit by a truck. “Are you divorcing cause Virgil’s pregnant?” “EMILE!”, Virgil shrieked. Janus felt like he was watching this from above like it was a tv show playing out in front of him, and not his life. He looked next to him. Patton appeared to be in a similar situation.

“It’s the truth.”

Finally, Janus found himself able to speak. There were a million questions inside of him longing to get out, but all he could say was, “What?”

Luckily Patton was able to voice one of his questions, “Virgil, is this true?”. Virgil refused to make eye contact with either of them and Janus knew it was. His eldest child looked almost ashamed, shoulders tense and body hunched over.

“Virgil…”, He started, but he was upstairs before Janus could continue. Janus shut his eyes. Amazing. One of his kids was pregnant at 17 and another thought he was going to be sent back to foster care. His head met the table with a groan. Patton rubbed his shoulder.

Emile still stood in front of them, “Am I in trouble?”, he asked, voice shaking. Janus leaned forward and picked him up. He bounced Emile on his hip, stroking his back.

“No baby.”, He ruffled his hair and booped his nose. “You aren’t in trouble ok. Everything is just kinda stressful right now. But none of that is your fault, ok?” Emile nodded and buried his face into Jan’s chest. Patton joined the hug, stroking Emile’s back and humming softly. They sat there in this position for about 10 minutes before Janus pulled away, gave Emile a kiss on the forehead, “We love all of you so much and the divorce won’t change that ok?”

He nodded and Janus stood up, “I’m going to go talk to Remy, he might be easier to get to open up than Virgil right now.”, He handed Emile to Pat, who bounced him on his hip.

“Ok. I’ll make a pot of hot cocoa to take up. Hopefully, it’ll get him to open up.”, Janus nodded in thanks and made his way upstairs.

Remy’s room was as dark as ever, the twelve-year-old liked to leave the lights in his room dimmed. Janus peaked his head in, seeing him laying on his bed, face buried into his pillows. “Remy?”, He called out. The child in question didn’t respond but Janus knew he was awake, “Can I come in?”

There was silence for a moment and Janus thought about what he would do if Remy said no. He wanted to respect his privacy, but at the time this was a conversation that needed to happen. Remy thought he was going to be sent back to foster care and Janus couldn’t let him just think that. Luckily Remy soon answered, “Yes…”

He walked in slowly, eyes trained on his son. His son who was terrified that he was going to be sent away. He swallowed, “Remy you aren’t going to be sent back to foster care. I promise that.”

Remy sniffled and his heart broke for his middle child, “That’s what they said last time. They said they loved me and I’d never be sent away again. And then they said they were getting a divorce and it wasn’t a good time for them to adopt a kid.”

Janus sighed and began stroking his hair, “And I’m promising that no matter what we’re not sending you back there. We love you. You’re our son, our wonderful son who we love so much. The divorce is between your father and me. And I won’t lie and say that it won’t affect you or that nothing will change, because things will change. A lot of things will change. But the love that your father and I have for the three of you? That will never change. It’ll never fade or go away. And we’re never sending you back.” He smiled slightly and joked, “Besides we threw away the receipt. No returns.”

Remy giggled and Janus knew he’d been successful in cheering him up. Remy sat up and hugged him tightly, tears still flowing freely, “I love you both. This is my home, my family. I don’t want to lose you.” “I know baby, I know. What does Stitch say?”, He hoped that a reference to Remy’s favorite movie would lighten the mood even more.

Remy sighed, “Ohana means family.” “And?”

“Family is never left behind or forgotten.”

Janus nodded and kissed his head, “And you’re our ohana. And we hope to yours. We’re here for as long as you want us.”, Remy smiled and Janus knew that even if it took some time, everything would be ok with him. He sat up. “Patton should be up here in a few minutes with cocoa and I’m sure he’ll want to talk to you. So I’ll sit here with you until he gets up here and then I’ll give you your privacy. Ok? Besides I need to talk to your older brother.”

Remy nodded, “Is Virgil ok?”

Janus sighed, “I don’t know. But I intend to find out.”. As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Patton peaked his head in. He held a tray with four mugs of cocoa topped with whipped cream. Next to them sat a plate with brownies.

“Can I come in? I brought cocoa.” He smiled encouragingly. Remy nodded and sat up off of Janus’s chest. Patton came in, taking two of the mugs and some of the brownies. “The rest are for you and Virgil.”

“Where’s Emile?”

“In his room with a covered mug and a brownie watching Aladdin. He’ll be ok.”, Janus nodded and took the tray before leaving.

Janus stood outside of Virgil’s room, trying to figure out what to say. What did you say when your teenage son was pregnant? Most parents were worried about their sons getting someone pregnant, not their sons being pregnant. Then again, not everyone had a trans son. He sighed and knocked, “Virgil? Can I come in?”

Unlike Remy, who took his time answering, Virgil’s reply was almost immediate, “I don’t want to talk, Dad.”, Janus sighed. Goddammit. This is exactly what he was fearing. He couldn’t just leave his son alone right now. His pregnant son at that. Virgil was pregnant. He groaned.

“Baby bat, please. We need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk.” “I have Pat’s hot chocolate and brownies.”

There was a pause. Then he spoke, “The door’s open.”, Janus opened the door slowly. Virgil sat in the middle of the bed, knees tucked against his chest. Tears ran down his face in inky black trails. Janus’ heart ached for him. He looked at Janus and sniffled, “Go on. Yell at me about what a horrible mistake I made.” His heart lept into his throat. Janus remembered having a similar conversation with his sister 18 years ago. How she was pregnant and her boyfriend ran off on her. Janus hadn’t known then how his life was going to change forever. And now his son was pregnant.

“I’m not here to yell at you V.”, He sat next to him, handing Virgil the mug of cocoa. He took a sip of his own, “How long have you known?” Virgil shrugged, “I only found out today. But I suspected it when Dad mentioned that one of the waitresses at the restaurant was pregnant. I’m about a month along.” Janus nodded, “Does Thomas know?”, he was met with a nod. “And what does he think?”, more memories of his sister rushed to the surface. His sister saying that her boyfriend had ran out of town when she found out that was pregnant. That he took the rent money and she’d been evicted. He was brought out of his memories by Virgil’s next words.

“He says he loves me still. And he supports me no matter what I choose.”, Well that was good. Janus didn’t know what he would have done if Thomas had abandoned Virgil. It would have been unpleasant that’s for sure. Now for the hardest question.

“You have options; you don’t have to keep the baby if you don’t want to. Do you have an idea of what you want to do?”, Virgil looked up at him and Janus once again was overcome with memories of his sister. Adelaide saying that she didn’t know what she was going to do but she was keeping her baby. He and Pat letting her move in. Recording home movies for the baby. Rushing her to the hospital while she screamed in pain in his backseat. The doctor saying that she lost too much blood. Holding Virgil in his arms.

“I want to keep the baby.”, there it was. The thing that Janus had known deep down that Virgil would say from the moment he found out about the pregnancy, “I know I have options and I know I’m young and this probably seems stupid but I want this baby. I just... You took a chance on me when mom died. You and Dad weren’t looking for a kid when I was born but you took me in anyway. You took a chance on me. And I’m taking a chance on this baby.”

Janus sighed, “You’re just like your mother you know that. Just as stubborn and just as loving. And you know what? She was just as determined to have you, even if it wasn’t the best time. And I’m going to tell you the same thing I told her.”, He hugged Virgil close, “I love you so much. And if you want this baby then your dad and I will support you no matter what ok? We’ll help you out. I promise.”

Virgil smiled at him, “Really?”

Janus nodded, “Really really. Now I think you should invite Thomas over tomorrow. I want to talk to him.”. Seeing the look on Virgil’s face he added, “I’ll go easy on him. I just want to know he’ll be a good dad for my grandchild. And you two need to tell his parents.”

Virgil nodded and there was a knock at the door, “Come in.”

It was Patton, “Hey. Emile and Remy are both asleep. How is everything?”

“Well Pat, we’re going to be grandfathers.”

Patton smiled and sat down next to them both, “I see. And everything is ok?” Virgil nodded, “Yeah. Everything will work itself out.”, And at that moment Janus knew it to be true.

A/N: Unlike some of my other works, this one is going to be a series of one-shots. I think I'll be able to handle that better than chapter fic. It'll also feel more like episodes of a sitcom. I really like the feel to this and I'm open to prompts.

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south-park-meta · 3 years

Note

Bunny w/ Mamihlapinatapei if you like that, otherwise Style?

I don't like Bunny tbh but it's fine, there aren't many pairings I hate too much to try writing! (I included Style too though because I'm a simple person).

Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.

"I know now that you won't remember, the next time you see it. I just need you to believe me, before we...start anything."

"I believe you," Butters says immediately. He considers, then says, "Y'know, I think we all die a little. It's the comin' back that matters."

Kenny's always been good at reading people. Stan's good at it, too. It's one of the defense mechanisms that they've picked up together but separately. Kenny learned it as part of conflict resolution; it's important to read the mood at home, to decide if he and his siblings should leave the room or if it'd be better to just flick on the TV. If he had to guess, he'd say that Stan got good at reading people at home, too. Neither Stan nor Shelly have ever been hit by their parents-- Kenny doesn't think they were spanked as kids, never mind gotten in a fist fight the way Kevin did sometimes with his dad. But violence isn't the only thing that does it. Stan knows if someone's safe to drive with or if they're going to weave between lanes. He knows the exact way to play babysitter to draw someone back from a nutty scheme. He knows how to mold himself to seem like less trouble to make things easier, when it matters.

Their experiences are different but the same, when it comes to picking up those little hints of a person. The cues that most people don't have reason to learn.

Kenny notices the shift, when Stan and Kyle fall in love with each other. He's always figured they'd end up together, once they figured their own shit out. Over junior year the way they look at each other changes-- not overnight, but not slowly, either, like it's shifting with the seasons. He actually thinks they're together when Stan starts talking about prom.

Except then Stan asks if he wants to skip it to play video games.

Kenny furrows his brows. "Is this a 'Poor Kenny' thing?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kenny says. Then he stops for a moment to consider which way to take it. His guess is that Stan's feeling sorry for him, because prom's kind of expensive if you do it right. Even doing it a little wrong is more expensive than what Kenny has. It's a hard thing to traverse, though, because if he's honest he likes it when his friends recognize the difference in what they all have to spend. The pop he's drinking is one Stan bought him. But there's a difference in wanting to tag along to McDonald's and maybe, every now and then, letting his friends order a happy meal for him, and wanting his friends to skip out on milestone moments just to play video games. "How come you and Kyle aren't going together?"

"We could," Stan agrees, holding his bottle of Fanta by the neck and spinning it in a lazy circle. Kenny knows he gets the glass ones instead of plastic because it makes him think of beer bottles. It's hard to tell if that scratches an itch or tickles at it. "But we'd just be hanging around, anyway. Same shit, different place."

"Or you could, you know, dance?"

Stan stops spinning his bottle. "With Kyle?" he asks.

He sounds so baffled that Kenny's actually almost surprised they don't need an extra step of 'With who?'

Which makes Kenny baffled, too. "Why not with Kyle?"

"Because we're not dating?"

"Is that a question?" Kenny asks. And before Stan can answer he says, "I thought you were. Finally." It seems like something they'd forget to tell him just because they've been half-dating for so long.He still can't stop himself from making snide comments when they box him out now and again, but when it comes to this--he hadn't even been offended, thinking they'd forgotten.

"Well. We're not."

"So ask him."

"Why would I do that?"

"Why the fuck wouldn't you do that?" Kenny demands. "I love you, Stan, but you're really stupid sometimes."

"Hey," Stan says, but he doesn't sound very offended.

"I know you love him."

"Okay," Stan says, "I love him."

Kenny waits a beat, but Stan doesn't keep going, which is a little maddening. "And he loves you."

"Not like that."

"Yes like that."

Kenny can tell he's not telling Stan anything he doesn't already know, the way he frowns and looks away.

"Why don't you ask Butters, then?" Stan snaps, peevish, looking at his feet. "If you're so smart. He'd go with you."

"Because," Kenny says.

Stan huffs through his nose and opens his eyes a little wider in a way that says, See? And man, maybe Kenny's a hypocrite, but Stan is a smug hypocrite, which is definitely more annoying.

"Fuck you," Kenny says.

"Fuck you, too," Stan says. They sit in silence for a moment and Stan takes another drink of Fanta. Another moment of silence and he says, "You should ask him, though, for real."

Maybe Kenny should, for real. Stan still doesn't like Butters much after all these years--Butters doesn't like Stan much, either-- so Kenny knows it's nothing Stan would suggest if he didn't think it was something that would make Kenny happier. "If I do, you have to talk to Kyle."

"Sure thing, Ken," Stan says. He's still got smug in his tone, like he's agreeing because he knows this is a bet he won't lose.

And it's still kind of annoying, mostly for the 'Ken' that Stan rarely uses except to be condescending, but only for about half a second. Stan can get up his own ass sometimes around Kenny for the same reason Kenny knows he can be petty, bitchy, around Stan. Kenny knows he can't claim a spot at the Super Best Friends table, but they've been regular best friends since they were three. They know each other's entire humanities, even the ugly bits. It's good sometimes, to have a place for the ugly.

They shoot the shit a while longer and then part ways. Stan takes both their empty bottles to recycle them.

Kenny goes over to Butters' house afterwards. He tells himself it's for Stan and Kyle's sake, or at least to force Stan to admit he doesn't have the guts, but he knows well enough he's using them as an excuse. He knocks on the door and waits.

"Kenny!" Butters greets him, bright-eyed. It's really hard to take someone looking at him like that. Like he's the only good thing in all of South Park.

"Hi," Kenny says. "Can I come in?"

"I'll come out," Butters says. "Your shoes are kinda muddy. Y'know my parents would throw a fit."

Kenny doesn't look down at his shoes. It's true, and he doesn't really mind Butters saying so. Even if he does think he could wipe his shoes clean enough.

They take a walk down to Stark's pond. Butters takes his hand halfway there. Kenny slows his pace to make sure it lasts a little longer just in case Butters wants to skip rocks. He doesn't let go, though, once they get there. They sit there holding hands and looking at the water.

"I need to tell you something. Then I need to ask you something," Kenny tells the water.

"Mm, all right," Butters says. His tone stays pitched up, chipper, but Kenny can hear the anxiety stretched underneath, like a safety net waiting to catch someone's fall. "Shoot."

"Well," Kenny says, deciding to back track a bit, because he doesn't like that anxiety. There are too many kids in South Park that have it sitting dormant under their voices, and he likes it least of all on Butters. "I want to ask you to prom. But I need to tell you something first."

The tension slides out at that and Butters smiles wide. "You're doing it all backwards, then, ain't'cha?"

"I do a lot of things backwards," Kenny says, "But you'll go with me? If I ask."

"Sure, I will!"

That doesn't surprise him, for the same reason he knows Stan won't be surprised if he asks Kyle-- or Kyle, if he asks Stan. "I need to tell you," Kenny starts again, "That I die a lot."

Butters tips his head. He looks at Kenny, eyes asking him to continue.

"I know it sounds crazy," Kenny says, "But you've seen me die. You've all seen me die. I used to die every day. And then I came back, and you'd all forget." He pauses as he stares at the lake. There are concessions he's learned he has to make, since the frustrated years of his childhood spent killing himself over and over again, intentionally and not. "I know now that you won't remember, the next time you see it. I just need you to believe me, before we...start anything."

"I believe you," Butters says immediately. He considers, then says, "Y'know, I think we all die a little. It's the comin' back that matters."

"Yeah?" Kenny knows Butters doesn't mean the physical, the way he does, but he also knows that Butters knows he does mean the physical.

"Yeah. I feel it, when part of me dies. Why, there's been times-- there's been times I figure enough of it's gone and died, that I ought to just end it all!" He's not just talking about Reality, and Kenny knows that, too. He's talking about the bits and pieces that have been killed by his parents, by the other students, by South Park as a whole. "But you come back to life. And if you work real hard at it, you come back stronger than before. It gets better...You said it doesn't happen every day anymore, didn't'cha?"

Kenny nods his head. He's a little surprised, that Butters had caught that with his saying it 'used to' be every day.

"Well, maybe someday it won't be happening at all, anymore. Maybe you're coming back stronger and stronger and it won't keep getting you. Not until it's supposed to."

"I'd like that," Kenny says, smiling.

"I'd like to go to prom with you," Butters says.

Kenny nods very fast. He wants, at that moment, more than just prom. He wants every life and every death with Butters. He wants them to go, hand-in-hand the way they are now, and face as many deaths and revivals as they have left in them, together.

#South Park #sp bunny #sp style #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #butters stotch #kyle broflovski #tbh idk how well this fits the prompt but i tried lmao

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ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa · 4 years

Text

Bogotá Kiss

Prologue: There Was a Boy

Summary/Author’s Note: Javier Peña had finally gotten his life together. He was a newlywed, back in the states with his bride, and starting his new life free of Escobar and the world of the cartels. That is until he found his wife in bed with another man. On a path of self destruction, he goes back to Bogota, reclaims his job with the DEA, his partner Steve Murphy, and throws himself into his work, cheap whiskey, and the company of his...informants.

You are a singer in the hottest burlesque club in Columbia. Pulling yourself out of poverty and into a world where men throw money at your feet, buy you diamonds, and pay untold amounts for your services. You don’t mind that the club’s biggest source of income is smuggling diamonds from the necks, wrists, and ears of its prostitutes and into the pockets of their buyers, until a handsome DEA agent gets too close and figures out the scheme.

**IMPORTANT: For those familiar with Moulin Rouge--The reader will NOT die at the end. Fuck that. Let Javi be happy god dammit.

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (Moulin Rouge/French Kiss AU) Word Count: 1.6k (its just a prologue, the next chapter will be better) Warnings (for entire fic): NC-17/18+ - Language, sex, prostitution, mentions/implied R*pe (nothing will ever be described in detail or used as a plot device), typical canon violence for NARCOS, shooting, attempted murder, drug use, blackmail, hurt/comfort, lies and betrayal, happy ending

[MASTERLIST]

"It's not what it looks like."

People didn't actually say that line, did they? And worse yet, no one actually would possibly believe it. Right? The words fell from her lips and suddenly Javier Peña felt like he was watching a movie about someone else's life. A cliché of a film in which the idiot of a husband walked in on his wife bouncing on the dick of another man. He was that idiot, and as she scrambled off the lap of the stranger and called his name, he slammed the door behind him, not bothering to wait for an explanation. Queue the laugh track or cut to the scene of him walking in the rain to somber music.

Only this wasn't a movie. There would be no comedic relief, just a lot of heartache, wasted time and money. He had always had a bad habit of falling for the wrong girl. He would see himself mirrored in the eyes of the broken, the depressed, the ones who, much like him, just seemed unable to catch a break in life. But instead of getting a kindred spirit to share his world with, he usually just got a lot of baggage and a quick lay.

He packed a bag, not giving a shit about any of his worldly possessions, and found himself at the Dallas airport, sitting at the bar and waiting for his gate number to be called.

He raised two fingers, letting the bartender know he wanted a fucking double, as he held his cellphone to his ear and listened to it ring. The boxy phone didn't fit comfortably against his shoulder and he dropped it just as the other end picked up and Steve's voice came through.

"Murphy."

"Fuck. Shit." Javier fumbled the phone and held it back against his face.

"Javi?"

"Yeah, it's me." Javier sighed as he picked up his whiskey and tossed it back with a mild wince. "I'm on my way back."

"I heard." Steve paused. "Carolyn called. I told her I didn't know where you were."

"Thanks, 'appreciate it."

"I talked to Noonan. She said your job's still open. You can have it and the keys to your apartment."

They both paused for an extended period of time. Javier ordered another shot of whiskey and Steve breathed quietly on the other end of the phone. Neither one of them had to say out loud what they both already knew. Javier had fallen for the wrong girl, again. His heart was broken and he wanted to drown out the ache he was feeling in cheap booze, a carton of Marlboro, and expensive pussy.

"I'll pick you up from the airport. Safe trip, Jav."

"Thanks, Murph."

Javier pressed the button on the phone and rubbed his forehead with a heavy sigh. It was all smooth sailing from here. He was on his way back to normalcy, back to doing what he did best, hunting Narcos and not having any emotional ties to anything that mattered.

The car ride from the airport had been quiet for the most part but Javier could tell that Steve was just dying to ask. So, when they parked in front of the apartment and neither one of them moved, he dug his smokes out of his jacket pocket and rolled down the window. He flicked his silver lighter to life and inhaled deeply as Steve shut off the engine.

"Go ahead. Ask."

Steve sighed and looked at his friend. "What happened, man?"

"I let it go too far, like an idiot. And she couldn't even wait until the honeymoon was over before she tripped and landed on some other man's dick." He inhaled deeply and ran his thumb along his mustache.

"Shit. I'm sorry--"

"Don't," Javier cut him off and shook his head. "Okay? Don't."

"You file for divorce?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Lawyer is drawing everything up now so we can sign it."

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm sorry, Javi. You seemed happy." Steve looked at him and Javier flicked his cigarette out of the window.

"Yeah, I know." He took another long drag of his cigarette before tossing the butt out onto the sidewalk. “Tell Connie I said ‘hi’, okay?”

With a mumbled thanks for the ride and a couple of quick 'see you tomorrows', he opened the car door and grabbed his suitcase out of the back seat and walked up the stairs and into the apartment building. He went through the motions of coming back to this place that he knew quite well, as he went downstairs and stuck his keys in the door without needing to turn on a light.

He tossed his keys on the side table and kicked the door shut gently as he dropped his shoulder bag and looked around. The only furniture that the place had was the old embassy supplied leather couch, scuffed up coffee table, and bar stools against the kitchen counter. Fuck. That settled what he would be doing tomorrow, getting all his furniture out of storage and having the embassy replace what he didn’t have.

Before tossing his leather jacket on the back of the couch, he got out another cigarette and let it bob between his lips as he mumbled to himself. He inhaled deeply and tossed his lighter next to his keys before making his way to the kitchen. When he opened the fridge, he didn’t know if he wanted to run upstairs and kiss her, or if he wanted to clutch his chest and cry.

The entire appliance was completely bare and wiped out, the light making the white shelves look entirely too bright, but sitting in the middle of the top shelf was a covered casserole of some kind and a bottle of whiskey. A note was taped to the tin foil that read:

“Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Please eat something while you drink this. -- love, Connie.”

At least Steve knew how to pick a woman, because that’s exactly what Connie was, one hell of a woman. Javier grabbed the bottle of liquor and mentally promised Connie that he would eat later. He wasn’t hungry. He really hadn’t been hungry for the last few days, and as he looked at the whiskey and cracked the seal on the lid, he didn’t mourn that the kitchen didn’t have any glasses. He was well beyond the need for a glass.

He took the bottle to the couch, kicked off his boots and plopped down heavily. The whiskey was a familiar burn down his throat and he felt it all the way to his belly. Warm, inviting, and just what he needed. Another drink was followed by a long drag of his cigarette before he kick backed and muttered, “Home, sweet, home,” to a cold, empty house.

The banging on the door permeated his skull in a way that he didn’t think was possible. But then again it had been a long time since he had been this hungover. He rolled over on the leather couch and shoved his face into the cushions and prayed that whoever wanted him would just go away. There was no one on this green earth that he wanted to speak to.

He must have fallen back asleep briefly because the next thing he knew, his partner had let himself into his apartment with his spare key and was nudging his leg that was hanging off the side of the couch.

“Javi,” Steve said as he plucked the empty liquor bottle from under his friend’s arm. “Javi!”

“Is too early,” Javier mumbled into the leather of the sofa.

“It’s 4 in the afternoon.” Steve said, setting the bottle on the coffee table. “I told Noonan you were taking the weekend to unpack--” Steve looked around the apartment and then back to the horizontal man. “Looks like you’re done.”

“Fuck you.”

Steve shook his head and put his hands on his hips. “Come on. You need a shower. I’d offer to buy you a drink but you smell like you’ve got that taken care of. So, how about a lap dance? There’s this new place on the other side of town--got your name written all over it.”

“Go away.”

Steve, rubbed his hand down his face and glared at the shell of the man that he had gotten to know over the last couple of years. The day Javier Peña turned down a lap dance, it would have been a cold day in hell and yet the evidence was right there in front of him. Someone needed to tell the devil to go check his thermostat.

“Mmkay.” Steve said sharply and took the empty bottle over to the sink and filled it about half way with tap water. When he dumped it on top of Javier’s head, the way the dark-haired man sputtered and sat straight up brought him more joy than it probably should have. “Good morning!”

“F-fucking hillbilly,” Javier cursed as he pulled the hem of his shirt up to wipe his face.

“Get your ass in the shower and I won’t tell Con that you didn’t eat her food she left you.” When his friend paused long enough to lower his shirt and glare at him, Steve continued. “I’m not fuckin’ around, Javi.”

The two men stood at odds of one another, but the blond refused to relent. Javier shoved his now soaking wet hair back from where it was plastered to his face and nodded. He stood with a groan and gave Steve his middle finger as he trudged to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

“Missed you, too, bud!” Steve cupped his hands around his mouth in a mock yell after the other man’s retreating form. It was going to be a long road to getting his partner back to his usual self, but the natural place to start was with some no-strings-attached pussy.

PERM TAG LIST:

@rae-gar-targaryen @zeldasayer @blondeeee-e @winters-buck @gooddaykate @jigglemiwa @seawhisperer @halefirewarrior @ripleyafterdark @phoenixhalliwell @thebakerstboyskeeper @honestlystop @lackofhonor @readsalot73 @cryptkeepersoul @skdubbs @cahooter @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @googiebeankat @dinohaze @saltywintersoldat @huliabitch @silver-lined-solitude @tainted-gay-ghost @roxypeanut @@hayley-the-comet @domino-oh-damn @manda-but-not-lorian @maybege @corvueros @thea-cartier @pettyprocrastination @qveenbvtch @hopplessdreamer @pocket-of-anxiety @marie-is-in-the-dark @agentpike @pascalplease @cosmicbug379 @your-pixels-are-showing @gamingaquarius @blushingwueen @crimsonandwhiteprincess @bluemoon-glen @river-soul @robbinholland @nerdypinupcrystal @fleetwoodmactshirt @jaime1110 @fioccodineveautunnale @fantasticcopeaglepasta @kid-from-new-zealand @theofficialwatchtower @roguereds @c4llm3jj @apples-of-february

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier pena #javier peña x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #narcos #narcos fic #narcos fanfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro character fic #moulin rogue #french kiss #javier peña au

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anonniemousefics · 3 years

Note

I know you're probably busy with other things you're writing so no pressure to get to this, but when you have time could you possibly write something about Kaz and/or Inej celebrating a birthday?

This was so sweet, I had to write a full-blown fic. Sorry not sorry! :) I may come back to this and edit it a bit more, but here you go -- Kaz and Inej and TWO birthdays. :) Thanks so much for the ask and for reading!

---------------------------------------------------------

A Tough Act To Follow

Fandom: Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom | Kaz + Inej

Word Count: 3,633

Rating: Teen and Up

Inej knew how to pick the lock on Kaz’s window. She didn’t need to know – he always left it unlocked when he knew she was in town. But it was a matter of pride, really. Kaz Brekker could bar himself in with unbreakable locks, and Inej could still find a way in.

And now that knowledge was finally proving useful. Inej crouched on the windowsill in the dark, listening at the glass. The room in The Slat just beyond was pitch black and silent. Dirtyhands was out stalking the streets, unaware that the Wraith was back, and here Inej could finally have her vengeance.

He’d surprised her on her last birthday – and surprised her good. Inej wore a crooked grin on her lips in the dark when she thought of it, as she held lock picks in her teeth. That sly, clever bastard.

She’d get him this time.

When she’d discovered which pick could snake through the window, she artfully jostled the lock until the tumblers gave way with a click. And then Inej shifted the pack slung over her shoulders and slipped into the dark attic of The Slat.

It was always a little surreal, that first step back into The Slat. It was like stepping through a time warp, returning a fixed moment in time. Kaz never changed anything, not his makeshift desk, not his rickety old bed in the corner. Inej used to bother him about it. Didn’t he at least want his own house? Wasn’t he tired of stairs? What was he doing with all of that kruge he wanted to die under, anyway?

No, Always, and There are plans, were always Kaz’s infuriating and vague answers.

Inej couldn’t help grinning to herself again at the memory. That sly, clever bastard.

Well, she could make plans, too.

But first, she had a stage to set. After all, that’s what Kaz had done, and Inej always made a point to learn from the best.

It had been almost six months ago. Her birthday had actually come and gone while she’d been at sea, and so she’d thought nothing of it when her feet were once again on Ketterdam’s streets. She wasn’t expecting anything, really – which, come to think of it, had been her first misstep. Kaz was a work in progress in most relational matters, but gift-giving was not one of them. For better or for worse, Kaz possessed an innate ability to read people – their wants, their fears, their sins. And when he wasn’t using this gift for nightmarish purposes, he was actually quite decent at presents. She should have known he’d have something up his sleeves.

“I have something to show you,” he’d told her. Off-handedly, even, like he’d only just realized it. They were draining the last of their drinks at the Crow Club, waving to Jesper and Wylan as the couple had started their trudge home.

Inej had turned back to Kaz with a raised eyebrow.

“Rumor has it those are the last words your debtors hear in dark alleys,” she teased. And Kaz laughed – a free, easy sound she was still getting used to hearing. The last few years had seen a silent, dark shadow slowly lifting from his shoulders – small changes only the people closest to him could have noticed. His eyes seemed clearer. He was freer with his jokes. There was some color in his cheeks when he smiled.

Like now.

“You can flatter me later,” Kaz grinned, picking up the crow’s head of his cane. He was gesturing for her to follow. So, she slid from her chair to trail behind him as they wove through the gambling tables of the dark club to the overcast streets outside.

It was a warm night, the streets bustling with tourists. Kaz offered her his arm as they strolled along the canal beneath the orange glow of the gas street lamps, his cane tapping against cobblestones. Restaurants and clubs were churning out enticing aromas to lure in hungry patrons – mouth-watering roasted meats, warm, yeasty breads, cinnamon and sugar pastries.

And Inej glanced up Kaz, only a little distracted by the tempting smells in the air. She was still curious about what he could possibly be scheming, even if she was now also a little hungry.

When they came to a well-traveled intersection of cobblestone streets, Inej noticed a brand new door on an old building she’d passed a thousand times. The lights in the windows were lit, though it seemed that the inside was practically empty.

It was there that Kaz stopped them and began fishing through his pockets. Inej heard the jangle of keys.

“What is this?” she asked, in vain, because Kaz only smirked in reply. Inej straightened. That was about as delighted as Kaz would allow himself to get, so whatever this was, it was big.

He fitted a thick skeleton key into the lock, and, with a groan on its hinges, the door opened. Inej followed him inside.

“What do you think?” Kaz’s voice echoed in the space. Inej didn’t know how to answer. What did she think? What was she even looking at?

It was a large, mostly empty space, save for a giant, old hearth and one round table by the lighted window, set with a checkered tablecloth and plates and silver. The pine wood floors were dusty, the old chandelier covered in cobwebs. At the far end of the room stood a bar, and beyond that, presumably a kitchen, where another light source flickered and glowed.

“Is it another club?” Inej ventured, as she turned in circles, taking it in. “Did you buy another club?” This was a stupid guessing game.

“Not exactly.” Kaz pocketed the keys again, his gloved hands fidgeting a moment in his pocket. Was he nervous?

“Good evening, Mr. Brekker. Captain Ghafa.”

Inej nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the new voice. A chef in a white coat appeared from the orange-lit kitchens, two exquisitely plated trays of food in hand. Before she could ask any more questions, Kaz was beside her, a hand at the small of her back, gesturing for the table.

“Let’s have a seat,” he said, not so much a suggestion as another step in a plan.

So, she did. And she unfurled a napkin into her lap as Kaz did the same. The chef set plates of food in front of them while Kaz moved to uncork a bottle of champagne that waited on the table in a silver basin.

“What is going on?” Inej finally pressed once they were alone again. The chef had returned to the kitchen.

A loud pop exploded into the silence of the mostly empty room as Kaz opened the champagne bottle.

“Has anyone ever told you that you are very difficult to buy gifts for?” he asked, beginning to fill a champagne flute in his gloved hand.

Inej shook her head. This intrigue was killing her.

“No one,” she said, accepting the champagne, her fingertips brushing cold leather.

“Then let me be the first to lodge the complaint,” Kaz replied, filling his own glass. “It would be challenging enough if you were only as rich as a queen, but on top of that, you seem to genuinely want nothing at all. Other than justice and care for those who’ve been bought and sold – and that is a very tall order, I must point out.”

Sitting back in her chair with her champagne glass, Inej crossed one leg over the other, cocking her head as she still tried to puzzle out the mystery.

“I like chocolate,” she pointed out with a shrug. At that, Kaz paused with his champagne flute mid-drink to glare at her.

“Shit,” he mumbled into the flute, and set the glass down with a sigh. “That would have been a lot less expensive.”

Inej blurted out a laugh at that, and Kaz couldn’t contain a toothy grin.

“What are you saying?” Inej asked with a chuckle. “Is this a gift? You did buy this place.”

Kaz drew in a long breath. He was nervous. Inej set down her glass, leaning in in fascination.

“I did buy it,” he confirmed. “It’s a new project.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobble over his color. “One I hope that we can work together on.”

Inej blinked.

“That depends,” she said. “Tell me the project.”

Kaz shifted, leaning forward, elbows on the table.

“It was inspired by you, actually,” he said. Inej couldn’t be sure but it looked like the color was rising in his cheeks in the candlelight. “These people that you’re freeing, if they end up back in Ketterdam, they have nothing. Or, like you were, they’re beholden debts that they should never have had in the first place. What they need – what you needed – was some place safe to work, to save money, a roof over their heads while they figure out their way forward. Without it, they end up right back where they started. So…”

Kaz picked up his champagne flute again, giving a gesture with it to the room.

“I know it needs work,” he said. “But the bones are good. The location’s perfect – lots of foot traffic and tourism. I was thinking it could be a restaurant. Or bakery.” He looked to her then, and was he seeing how floor, utterly rivetedshe was? “Whatever you crave when you’re here in Ketterdam. Chef Lukas is on the books now, and he can make anything at all. The rest of the staff will come from you. The people you bring in, the ones who need a fresh start. We own the two floors above it as well, and they have rooms for lodging. What—what are you thinking?” His brow pinched together, trying to read her silence and the hand clapped over her mouth. “Is it too much?”

Too much? It was so much. Inej’s eyes stung with the threat of tears, that’s how much it was. But too much? It wasn’t possible to have too much of this perfection.

Inej had never been sure if she had a favorite flower or a favorite chocolate for a boy to discover, to know that he knew her, as her father had once advised. Sometimes she thought that maybe her heart was too big – that she loved too many things at once, and could she trust that a boy really knew her when her smile came so easily now?

But Kaz did. Now she knew. He absolutely did. He’d found the right combination to her big, bleeding heart.

He loved her.

And all she could do was burble a sort of euphoric giggle behind her hand, her eyes watering.

“You are going to lose so much money,” she gasped, her brow furrowing. “There’s nothing remotely profitable about this.”

Kaz just smirked with a shrug.

“No one turns a profit on gifts,” he said. “So, you like it?”

“Saints, Kaz, I love it,” Inej breathed, a traitorous tear escaping her eye. It was everything. Everything she’d needed ten years ago. Everything these streets needed now. For so many like her, this would mean the difference between hope and despair. Life and death.

That scheming, wonderful bastard.

She stretched her hand across the table, reaching to seize one of Kaz’s gloved hands. He smiled as he curled her fingertips into his.

“Can I kiss you?” she begged, softly, her eyes wet with tears. She felt him stiffen even as he ran the pad of his gloved thumb across her knuckles. And he thought a moment. And gave a little nod.

“I think that would be all right,” he replied, quietly.

They both stood, she perhaps a little more eager than he. It was always difficult the first few days Inej returned from sea. Kaz’s mind might always be a tangled web of past and present, sometimes confusing one with the other. Even after all these years, touching her always seemed easier once they’d had some time to break the ice all over again.

When she stepped to him, Kaz ran his hands down her arms, almost reverent, and he bent his forehead to hers. She lifted herself onto her toes, running her fingers up the lapels of his suit coat, over the hard planes of his chest.

“I can’t believe you’d be willing to lose so much kruge on this,” she whispered, looking up at his closed eyes, the dark lashes splayed against his cheekbones.

“For you,” he murmured, and he lifted his coffee-black gaze. His hands slipped to the curve of her waist, pulling her closer. “Surely you know this by now.”

“Tell me anyway.”

And Kaz lifted her chin, soft leather against her skin.

“I would empty every account for you,” he said. “And if that weren’t enough, I’d rob every bank, break every vault in this damn city. It’s never a loss when it’s for you.”

And he bent his head – Inej held so still. Let him be in control of when their skin touched. Her fingers unconsciously twisted in his lapels, silently begging for his lips.

When he met the slant of her mouth, his soft lips brushed against hers gently, barely a kiss at first. Their noses bumped. Inej held her breath, her eyes falling shut of their own accord. Selfishly praying for more.

And more he had. This time, Kaz bent his head the other direction, apparently emboldened, kissing her fully, breathing in deeply. Inej lifted onto her toes, meeting the kiss with the kind of eagerness she usually reserved for her third or fourth day on land. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and a shiver of warm sensation spread all the way down to the soles of her feet when he pressed his hands into the small of her back. It was dizzying and delicious, being flush with his body, wrapping her fingers into the soft, dark hair at the nape of his neck.

It was the sort of kiss, Inej realized, that should come at the end of an evening. It was not meant for the start, not the way they were. How was she supposed to untangle herself now? Now -- when his breathing was growing hot and ragged against her lips. When desire was fluttering through her core, wrapping itself like vines through her limbs as she pulled him to her again and again.

The creaking of the old front door hinges, that’s how.

Kaz and Inej broke apart as Inej gasped in surprise.

“Are you open?” came a tourist’s voice in Ravkan. A couple of figures poked their heads in the door that Kaz had evidently forgotten to lock behind them.

“Clearly we’re not,” Kaz barked back at them in Ravkan, flushed and irritated.

Some muttered Ravkan apologies followed as the door shut once again.

And Inej stifled a laugh into Kaz’s jacket. Hopefully he saw the humor in it, too. The evening didn’t need Dirtyhands making an appearance.

His hands were roaming her back, holding her close, and when she looked up he was smiling again. Though, for now at least, the heated spell between them had broken. For better or for worse, Inej wasn’t sure anymore.

“Happy birthday, Inej,” he said, when he’d cooled, and they returned to their table for the meal that their new chef had prepared.

So, you see, Inej had a tough act to follow.

She didn’t expect to be able to make him cry, although, admittedly, she would not have minded it if she managed it. But she was going to surprise him – surprise him good.

She was setting up his room in the Slat now, lying in wait for her victim. She’d brought rose petals. She’d lit candles. She’d wrapped herself in a black silken robe, unraveling her hair from its braid, leaving it loose and cascading down her back.

He, too, might not have a favorite flower or a favorite sweet. But she knew him.

And she loved him.

And now he would know.

Nerves were starting to prickle her skin while she waited, propped up on his desk, her legs crossed in front of her. It would be a pretty picture when he opened the door – his girl in silk surrounded by candlelight. But what came next was the real trick.

Her heart rammed against her ribs when she heard his keys in the lock, jostling the doorknob. He’d notice the candlelight first, she knew.

And he did. Before he even saw her, he paused in the doorway before even crossing the threshold, the door swinging wide.

The rattle of gunmetal was Inej’s first clue that this might not be going as planned.

Kaz was fishing for the revolver in his pocket.

“Saints, it’s just me!” Inej cried out, and Kaz dropped the gun with a thud. And strode into the room, breathing hard. Slamming the door behind him.

“Are you insane?” he exclaimed, whirling to face her. “I could have shot you!”

And that’s when the full sight finally started to sink in. His eyes were growing wider and wider, flitting around, taking it all in – the candlelight, the rose petals, Inej’s bare legs glimmering in the glow. The shining silk around her slim body.

Inej didn’t think human beings were capable of short-circuiting, but that’s clearly what was happening to Kaz. It was like he couldn’t decide where to look, if he was even allowed to look, or if he was even in the right room to begin with.

“Too much?” She hopped off the desk, suddenly understanding why he’d been fretting that day in their restaurant.

“No no no no,” Kaz was saying, obviously still short-circuiting. “Give me a moment. I just need a moment.”

He was breathing hard, still in the throes of the shock, and Inej was starting to wonder if surprises were a good idea at all. She stretched out a hand, pressing a palm over his racing heart, and after a beat, he pressed his hand over hers, holding her there. And drew in a deep breath, mustering up a smile.

“Hello,” he greeted at last.

“Hi,” she said back with a smile.

“You’re here.” He was still in disbelief. His eyes drifted a moment. “And you’re wearing that.”

“It’s revenge,” Inej clarified, with an apologetic shrug. “For surprising me last time. And for making me cry in front of Chef Lukas.”

“How is this equivalent to making you cry in front of Chef Lukas?”

“Well, it’s not the full surprise. Do you want the full surprise?”

“Yes.”

And, with a coy smirk, Inej withdrew her hand from his chest and began to unwrap the robe.

At that, Kaz pulled back.

“Wait wait.” He looked absolutely mortified. Inej wanted to cackle. Sweet, sweet revenge. She kept unwrapping.

“You do not have to do this,” Kaz was insisting. “You do know you don’t have to do this? There were no expectations, no strings attached with the last gift. I--” And he stopped short. Frowned. Cocked his head. Confused.

Inej was fully clothed beneath the robe.

And hiding a small parcel beneath her vest.

And she was smirking like the dirty little con artist she’d learned from.

“What is this?” Kaz asked, warily, accepting the parcel she pulled from her clothes.

“Open it,” was the only explanation she offered.

Kaz gave her a sidelong look as he slowly began to slide his long fingers into the seams of the parcel.

“That was a dirty trick,” he told her, pulling at the paper.

“You liked that? There’s more where that came from.”

“You’ll pay for that next time,” and he shot her a shark’s grin as he let the paper fall to the ground, looking at what was now in his hands.

Stacks of paper. Some with numbers. Some looked like letters. Some looked official – all looked clearly stolen.

“A side project,” Inej explained to him, crossing her arms in front of herself. “For the days when you’re tired of being a good man.”

“What is all this?” His discerning frown tickled Inej right down to her toes. Befuddling him might become her new favorite hobby.

She was trying, and failing, to hide a pleased grin.

“You’re looking at Pekka Rollins’ bank accounts. His stock activity. Secret correspondence with at least one mistress. The Stadwatch he’s bribing. The politicians he’s funding. All sorts of birthday surprises like that.”

Kaz was all but gaping when he looked up from the papers at her.

“How did you do this?” he breathed.

“I have my ways,” Inej said, with a toss of her hair.

Kaz was grinning like a fool.

“You know me too well,” he said, softly, still browsing the file Inej had spent the better part of six months assembling. His crow-black hair fell softly against his cheekbone, his features warm in the candlelight.

And here it was. Her moment. The words burned in her chest, demanding to be said.

“I love you,” she told him, like an explanation. As if it were obvious.

Kaz’s gaze snapped up from the papers then, losing all interest. He looked like he might drop them right there, just like he’d fumbled his revolver.

“I love you,” he said back. As if he’d been saying it for years, just not so simply.

Inej smiled wide, and Kaz did drop the papers then. And crossed the distance between them in a single step.

Inej had planned on telling him happy birthday at this point – that was what he had done. That was what people did. But as he lifted her back onto the desk, sliding kisses across her lips, burying his fingers into her loose hair… well, she forgot the scheme altogether.

She’d let the rest of the evening be a surprise.

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