#and now i cant even live in peace normally even if i were able to 'fix' everything so much of this is permanent and degenerative | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scrunkliies · 1 year

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And then there were two | Scaramouche x Traveller! Reader

▶ Summary: he had spent a lot of his life alone, choosing to travel Teyvat without anyone to slow him down… that is, until he met you. And now he's stuck with you. Scaramouche x Traveller! Reader in which you ask him to travel with you

▶ Warnings; slight angst? Mostly fluff (:

▶ Note; Scara joins your team! use of his name Scaramouche. I really can't imagine calling him anything other than that or kunikuzushi/kuni lol

I want to write more about him traveling with the reader, but idk where to go from here 😭

His head was full; not with some sort of aliment specific to Sumeru — Scaramouche wasn’t sure if he even had the ability to become sick. No. His head was full from the recent events that transpired only short of a month ago from this very moment. His head was surely spinning. Everything he worked toward came crumbling down for a fourth time within, what seemed like, a blink of an eye. His plan to ascend to godhood was yet again ripped from his feeble hands. It gave him a headache — it made his heart ache.

Did he have one? Did he have one now?

Before being able to process the ramifications of his actions, he was thrusted into a new life thanks to the Dendro Archon. It made his head spin. He was nurtured from weakness to health and was blessed with an anemo vision. Surely it was a mistake. A vision? For him? Were the gods only pitying him in his ridiculous attempt to become one? Or did he deserve one?

He was confused, so he left. No sooner than he was able to stand on his two feet, he left his temporary sanctuary to clear his head. He didn’t have the heart to fully leave Sumeru; he just needed some space, and the archon knew that. So she let him wander. He was blessed with a new life and it was up to him on how it should be lived.

Which led him to where he was now. He stood atop a grandiose waterfall on the outskirts of Sumeru city. The view was quite astonishing. He had many times to savor beautiful scenery like this, however he found it pointless in his past-life. Now there was time to take moments like these in. There was a gentle breeze; all was calm — save from the rushing of the water and the soft chimes from ornate accessories he adorned on his outfit. It was peaceful, and for the first time in his life, or what it seemed like, he took a breath.

“You cant run from your problems forever, you know.” You suddenly spoke, breaking him from his thoughts. There was a hint of playfulness in your tone. You slow approached him, taking in his figure peering out over the landscape. It was odd to see him so tranquil.

“Yeah? And what if you’re the problem im running from?” He crossed his arms as he spoke, glancing over his shoulder.

He rolled his eyes and turned his back to you once he saw your wide smile. He noticed you never heeded his threats or snarky comments, rather you brushed them off and stood your ground. A small smile formed on his face. Scaramouche knew It was only a matter of time before you would manage to find him or be tasked with finding him.

“Did Lesser Lord Kusanali send you to make sure i stay on good behavior?”

“I know it seems as if I’m Teyvats personal errand runner,” you spoke, placing your hands on your hips. “But this was a personal choice to find you.”

He turned to face you and his smile diminished into a relaxed expression, yet his arms stayed crossed. He studied your figure carefully. Scaramouche has been in your presence multiple times, however this felt different. Normally you both would be tense and on edge, awaiting each others next move, but this time you stood relaxed. He felt his shoulders drop in ease to match your energy.

“What do you want?” His words were sharp as ever, yet they held no aggression. He found beating around the bush pointless.

“A travel companion.”

Scaramouche’s eyes narrowed as your bold words registered. Him as your travel companion? You had to be dumb to request such of him. “So you thought i was the best candidate for that?”

You shrugged and mimicked his pose, crossing your own arms. “I see no reason why not. Besides, what better person to travel with than someone you’re most familiar with?”

You extended a hand to him, ushering him to except your offer. You wore a sickly sweet smile that confirmed your choice of wanting him to travel with you.

He thought for a second on your words. As much as he hated to admit, you were right. You were the only person who remained the most consistent in his life – albeit a “pest” or otherwise – your determination to track him down helped blossom a sort of weird relationship. Almost every nation your travels led you to, you and him would cross paths. From your fateful meeting in Mondstadt to the bittersweet events of Sumeru, you always managed to find him somehow. Even if you were in opposite regions, your reputation preceded you; your adventures garnered you as a walking legend and he was not deaf to the talk of passerbyers who spoke your name with excitement. There was no way to escape your presence alone.

Scaramouche would never admit it, but — deep down — he found himself quite bewildered at your unrivaled determination toward him. Whatever your motive may be, your venture to find him never ceased. You’ve seen every part of him and with every new, daunting, piece of information you discovered about him, he was sure you would flee. But no. Here you stood, with an outreached hand, more determined than ever with your proposition.

“You know i tried to kill you, right?” he spoke, recrossing his arms. His face remained relaxed, however there was a glint in his eyes you noticed. He was challenging you. “How are you so quick to throw away your good reputation to fraternize with the enemy?”

You cocked your head to the side with an amused grin. He was right. He did atrocious things to not only you, but to many of the people he crossed paths with. But there was something about Scaramouche you couldnt quite shake. You have no idea what led you to forgive him so quickly, but maybe your coincidental meetings actually mean more than you both were able to comprehend at the time. Fate truly had a funny way of bringing people together.

“I dont think you’re evil. You’re just lost and alone because that’s all you’ve ever known.”

Your words hit him harder than he would like to admit. His eyes widened slightly as he dropped his arms to his sides. Your words, mixed with that smile, stirred something inside him. Something incomprehensible, yet noticeable to him. For once Scaramouche found himself at a loss for words. Were you crazy? Had you suffered a head injury long your travels? No, he assumed. This is the reson why people hold you to such high esteem; why authors asked you for tales to write about in their upcoming novels; how you’ve managed to befriend every Archon you’ve had the pleasure of meeting with. You were forgiving and different.

“Ill never be one of the good guys,” He let out a light chuckle and approached your figure. “But if one of your friends mistakes you for collaborating with the enemy, you’re on your own.”

He clasped your extended hand and gave it a squeeze. Your eyes lit up with satisfaction and a triumphant smile adorned your face. What would he have to loose? He had no real aim or mission. He were to be wandering without a purpose if not for your companionship. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, your presence was familiar and it provided him comfort he didn’t know he craved.

“Now Teyvat has two errand runners!”

“Don’t push your luck.”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #genshin x y/n #kunikuzushi #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche fluff #wanderer #wanderer x reader #genshin scaramouche

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kitkat-val · 1 year

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✩ pairing → Wednesday Addams x Fem!reader

✩ summary → Many took advantage of the snowday at Nevermore by goofing in the snow. Wednesday decided to take advantage by shooting her shot

✩ warnings → not proof read, slightly ooc wednesday

✩ val’s note:- Havent written fanfic in a while but wednesday is just too fine

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Cocooned in your blankets, you felt a warmth of happiness spreading to all your limbs, even though the cold temperatures outside should imply otherwise.

Principal Weems’ voice had blared through the PA system, effectively waking you from your slumber, but she had said today would be a snowday. It was slightly incredulous to have a snow day when you lived at the school, but you were not one to complain.

You felt yourself drifting off to a peacful slumber before a sharp round of knocking was heard on your door. You jumped out of bed, irritation seeping in your body again. When you opened the door, your eyes met a familiar ravenette. You felt your irritation turn into something of embarrassment, knowing you probably looked a bit sluggish.

Wednesday seemed more relaxed than normal, not doing her usual impersonation of the kubrick stare. Somewhere in your mind, you were hoping you were the person for the seemingly easiness she was carrying.

“We were wondering if you’d join us while we did trivial activities outside, befit for only children” Wednesday questioned, and her relaxed state became tensed again, seemingly annoyed.

“Did someone force you to go?” You asked, quite confused. For an invitation, it really seemed like she was gonna leave the snow at a moment’s notice.

“Enid did, and my patience is running low with her at the moment” She answered, and you finally understood. Enid was probably trying to set you up. You had never told her about your crush on wednesday, but her intuition was always strong.

“I cant lie, I think I’ll just stay in bed. Maybe next time Wens” You told her, slightly apologetically. You did feel bad for her, coming all the way down here just to be told no.

“I know you would find it joyful to spend the day with me. Almost as joyful as kissing me would be” She acknowledged, with an eyebrow quirked up, and a smirk drawn huge on her face. Was the Wednesday Addams flirting with you? Unfortunately Wednesday had hit her mark, because you stood there with you eyes slightly widened and the blood rushing to your cheeks.

“Did you just flirt with me?”

“I’d be able to do more of this flirting if you would accompany us today.”

You felt slightly reluctant to just agree, not wanting her to think you were in the palm of her hands. You started quickly brainstorming on how to make her flustered also, but with wednesday addams it would be difficult.

It was like god struck with the idea.

“Say please, and i’ll do it” You told her, feeling a smile grow on your lips. You would have went either way at this point, but bothering Wednesday was just entertainment. One of the best kinds of entertainment.

Her haughty face with a big smirk, turned into one of a sour one. Her usual look.

Much to your surprise, she said it immediately, and offered more than you had even asked.

“Y/n, would you please accompany me and some other friends to fool around in the snow” She said easily, as if she wasn't against the word “please” and against requesting things of others.

She always found a way to surprise people, making them feel squeamish in the skin. Usually by hauling a long talk of gorey subjects. Never had she surprised someone by making them flustered, and that's what astounded you even more.

“I take your response as a yes. Please be ready within the next ten minutes, because we did waste quite a bit of time right now. Meet at us at the Quad” She ordered, but even then you were still shocked because she had added another please.

“I thought saying please was below you”

“Nothing is below me when it comes to winning your heart” She wittly replied, and left her post in front of your door with a sharp turn of her heels. Unbeknownst to you, the her face was more colored then the rest of her.

—

You had prepared yourself to look a but better than usual, which was slightly silly because you were going to get drenched either way. You just didnt have it in you to look terrible after your little interaction with Wednesday.

You found your group of friends at the quad, and Enid had immediately met your eyes with a knowing look, and you felt your face heat up slowly realizing what kind of day this would be.

When everyone had collected together, Ajax loudly went, “Heads up” and threw a snowball at the back of Kent’s head, which quickly ensued chaos.

You were having a little 1v1 with Yoko, when you felt a blow to the back of your head. Quickly turning around, you saw Wednesday slightly smirking. Since you have turned your back on Yoko, she took her chance and plowed you with snow. You ended up running from the two ravenheads, a wide smile spread on your face.

When everyone had calmed down, and started doing more mundane things like building snowmen, and doing snow angels, you noticed Wednesday had distanced herself from you, choosing to stand in Enid’s shadow a bit. You ended up building a snow man with Xavier and Yoko, while conversing. Your eyes kept wandering towards Wednesday, even though you tried to will them not to. Fortunately for you, You usually ended up seeing Wednesday shamelessly staring at you.

At one point, your whole body began to feel extremely cold, and you mentally cursed yourself for trying to look a bit cute instead of properly layering up. Another snowball fight ensued and you stood in the corner, not trying to get hypothermia.

“Can you say that Nickname you called me this morning”, a voice suddenly requested behind you. You jumped and saw Wednesday.

You held a hand over your heart as you said, “Don’t just scare me like that, especially not from behind”. You breathing slowly went back to normal, and you glanced at the ravenette’s face, which held a humorous expression.

“Just call me it again” She requested again, completely ignoring your near heart attack.

“Magic word”

“Please, Mi Amor” and with that you felt your heart nearly drop to your stomach. Your body was freezing, but your heart was blazing.

“I dont even remember what nickname I said this morning” You told her earnestly, and she glared at you.

“I will have your body effectively chopped up and fed to the Hyde if you dont figure it out” She threatened, a huff of breath following it.

“Was it Day” You questioned, to which she simply shook her head.

“Addam?”

“That wouldn’t even be considered a nickname”

“Addy?”

“Absolutely not. It was my first name, not my last”

It hit you immediately, and you quickly turned around and held her face as you quietly said, “Wens?”

She pulled your hands off her face, and slightly turned around, but you didnt miss the pink dusting her face.

“Thank you. I came because you seem to have no concern for your safety, and since I dont wanna see you die on hypothermia, Im taking the task of leading you to warmth.” She haughtily said, even tho her cheeks still have a twinge of pink. You didnt point it out, because you knew she’s say it’s because of the cold.

You held your hand out and simply told her to lead the way, and she took your hand and pulled you through the halls of Nevermore untill you reached Ophelia Hall.

You had been lost, but brought back when you ended up in the Addam girl’s room.

“I thought we were going to my room?” You questioned, and Wednesday simply looked at you and didnt say anything.

She slowly walked up to you and let her cold finger slide under your shirt, and she leaned to your ear to whisper, “Take this off so we can get you nice and warm, yeah?”

When she pulled her face away, with her hands still on your waist, she saw your flustered expression and a smirk had found its way on her face once again.

Tired of Wednesday teasing you all day, you pulled her to you, and placed a kiss on her nose.

“Are you gonna watch me get changed?” You questioned, as you decided to slowly pull your shirt off, in a joking manner.

Wednesday pulled your shirt back down before it reached past your stomach, and vigorously shook her had no, her whole face turning red.

“I actually believe that I have some clothes in your size somewhere in the bathroom, give me a moment to locate them. Pull that type of stuff on my again, and I’ll pull your shirt off to choke you with it” She said as she made her way to the bathroom.

“Kinky” you replied, to which she ignored.

You peeled your clothes off as she sorted everything out for you, and when you lay naked standing in her room, you realized you should’ve waited till she gave you your clothes before you started changing.

You heard her approaching, and quickly got under her covers, to hide your body. When she walked in, she gave you and incredulous look before the situation made sense to her.

“I didnt know you were so excited to get naked around me” She noted with a quirk of her eyebrow, which didnt help you at all.

“Im not tryna”

“You attempted to pull your shirt off about ten minutes ago” She noted again, her entertainment in this situation quickly embarrassing you.

“I was joking” you whined, and quickly added, “give me my clothes”.

“Come up and retrieve them yourself” she told you as she held the clothes tight to her chest. You wrapped the clothes around your body as you walked up to her and tried to grab it without the blanket loosening. She caught a hold of your waist, and layed kiss on your shoulder.

“Here you go your clothes mi amor” She finally said after taunting you for so long. She left the room to give you privacy.

When she returned and you were dressed, you finally asked her, “Why have you been flirting with me all day?”

“I would answer your question, but you deserve a proper confession. Give me time” Wednesday simply said, as if she wasnt rocking your world.

You giggled out of happiness at her answer, both you and Wednesday oblivious to the gossiping of your friends when they noticed your absence. To wish Enid and Yoko claimed they gave Wednesday pointers.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednsday addams #wednesday #wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday addams fluff #enid sinclair #nevermore #wlw ship #wlw #saphic

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cherry-girl444 · 27 days

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⋆⭒˚｡⋆Smoking We3d HCs with the Jeff, toby and Nina ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

(Headcanons)

╔══════════════════╗

JEFF THE KILLER ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `

-IDK why but you cant convince me this man is not CONSTANTLY getting high...

-I could see him abusing substances "just because he can" and not using them because of actual stress and pain in his life.

-Maybe its just because his whole vibe is a careless emo metalhead, and by "careless" that literally means that he doesn't care about hygiene, people around him, what people think of him, his reputation etc...

-And that exact carelessness and attitude is why i think he would just shamelessly be smoking around the mansion until someone yells at him for it

-Then he saw you, seeming to be intrigued by you, weather its because you reciprocated the same carelessness or not, either way this man wanted you, so he was gonna get you.

-He finds you in your room in the mansion, listening to music on your bed when he just outright hands you one of his blunts

(And no hes not gonna inform you that he rolled an extra one just for youᐢᗜᐢ)

-He then asks if u wanted to go out onto the balcony, into the forest, or just in the house somewhere quiet because he wanted some peace with you (which wasn't normal for him since he's always yapping or always angry and creating chaos)

-Even though it may not seem like it because its jeff were talking about, you'll soon realize that he just genuinely wants to figure out more about you. Hes intrigued by you and found you interesting.

╔══════════════════╗

TICCI TOBY ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

-Now this boy is a little bit more...well...awkward and timid than jeff is. Hes not completely outright careless like jeff, but he definitely has grown used to the often-biased opinions of the fellow pastas and has taught himself not to care.

-I can totally see him smoking on the couch watching the news, or most of the time i can just see him smoking in his room. He gets to be alone, AND he gets to smoke so its pretty much a double bonus!

-But then when he started noticing you more, weather its because you just arrived at the mansion or not, he knew something was up with you and he was determined to find out.

-I can literally see this man promising himself to figure you out completely.

-He soon realizes that he shouldn't be so uptight because you seem like a pretty chill person, so toby trying to psychoanalyze you maybe wasn't his best route is he wanted to talk to you

-He eventually worked up enough courage to walk up to you straight up, because he concluded that the only way a guy like him (Socially awkward and sometimes looking meaner than he is) would be able to approach someone like you was to literally just approach them, and not staring intensely at them from afar

-He came up to you, finally approaching you, and you were welcoming to him, something he didn't fully know if he was expecting. He got immediate good vibes from you.

-He asked you to go out into the forest with him for some peace and quiet, and then offered you a smoke to just brighten both of your days in that god forsaken mansion and the hell-hole lives you both live.

-In that way, he's very much different than jeff. He abuses substances either to feel something, or to numb the pain that's inside of him. He genuinely feels like he needs them to live, like he aches whenever he goes without them, without the stress relief. And he didn't bring you into it "just because you guys could", he genuinely noticed your anxiety and stress and wanted to help out.

╔══════════════════╗

NINA THE KILLER⋆♱✮♱⋆

-Nina is actually just such a girl boss that she looks good and aesthetic doing anything, so obviously our fashion icon is gonna look hot while forming addictions...!

-No but on a more serious note, i feel like this isn't something she does routinely like Jeff and toby, but a once in a while thing, an event that proposes itself on occasion every now and then.

-I feel like she would be the type to say smth like "Addiction is so not hot" or something along the lines of that (SHES SO COOL STOP)

-I feel like if Shes having a party, if its a holiday, or sometimes when she's hanging with you shell bring out the stash and shell make sure that you both enjoy yourselves

-I definitely feel like she was the first one to approach you when you first arrived at the mansion, due to her bubbly personality and love for friends

-Be expecting sleepovers where you binge eat yummy snacks and ice cream, watch horror movies, get high and give each other scene/emo makeovers.

-Weather Shes your best friend, or your girlfriend, Shes the best person to hang around in my opinion (Maybe I'm being biased idc Shes such a scenemo girlboss i can't help it)

#creepypasta #ticcitoby #smoking #jeffthekiller #ninathekiller #headcanons

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yikesharringrove · 2 years

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Okay. Dear billy.

Main argument: hoppers storyline is becoming my favorite. Putting himself through all this shit to go back is excellent, and the grittiness and gore of it all has me tickled. I love Steve being a lil dumb dumb as much as the next guy, but does him being Stupid need to be the punchline of every scene he’s in? Last season they gave him figuring out the horse music and the Russians in the mall but he’s gotten dumber every season and I don’t have much hope. Max’s storyline is where the most tension is. I really haven’t seen spoilers so idk if she’ll survive. They love getting us attached and then killing people with no warning so idk. I know hopper is gonna make it home but they really could fuck over max here so it’s sketchy.

THAT SCENE WITH HER RUNNING THROGUH VECNAS MIND WHILE RUNNING UP THAT HILL PLAYS AND THEN IT GOES INTO THE INSTRUMENTAL

Max’s letter to billy is fucking sad especially because we could’ve fucking HAD IT if there were better writers working on this shit.

Thots:

Bubbles is being super annoying in his cage behind my head rn he’s digging his stupid little holes I love him.

Steve’s reaction to Max admitting she’s been having headaches like that’s his bf’s little sister he’s shitting himself.

Steve Harrington will literally grab anything and use it as a weapon. Don’t you carry your bat in the trunk of your car everywhere like you do in fics? You know, because of the trauma-fueled anxiety you have? No?

Nobody ever listens to steve and the way he pissed himself and curled up when he saw Lucas is why

“I COULDVE TAKEN YOU OUT WITH THIS LAMP” darling. everyone knows that is very much Not True. #incompetent

Erica painting her miniatures PLEASE I miss mr clark

“Another week of this and he’s buying me a GOTDAMN Nintendo. With duck hunt.” Erica I love you p l e a s e

Ah, yes. The season-annual stupidification of Steve Harrington. At least last season he figured out that the Russians were in the mall. This season they really said No Thoughts Head Empty.

“If a gate didn’t exist in the fifties, how did he get through?” THATS WHAT IM SAYING. He just lives in the upside down. He pays rent but he wasn’t born there. He’s a gentrifier.

Steve just gave Dustin the bitchiest little look ever and then crossed his legs like they’re made of rope. FRUIT.

Bro where are they??? Is this mikes basement???

“Where’s mine” Steve you are NOT coming with omg he thought he was gonna be able to pose as a psych student he literally can’t pose as someone who is good at reading

Baby boy no

“OMG YOU HAVE A TOM CRUISE POSTER. omg you have a Tom cruise poster.”

“Maybe I could turn on my pap pap pap my charm” STEVEN

Robin going through Nancys shit and Steve doing nothing to stop her the way she rummages through his entire house every time she comes over

“Not the kind of charm we need” Nancy he’s literally gonna seduce the guy. They’ll fuck while you and Robin sneak in. Win-win.

THISE UGLY FUCKING CLOTHES ARE FROM NANCYS CLOSET???? Bro I literally SAID Nancy’s wardrobe is the devil. Did I NOT??

Not hop out here with his BROKEN ANKLE

“Of course not. She saves your life because of friendship.” This fucking GUY

I really forget about mike will and Jonathan when they’re not actively on screen. I think my brain is trying to block out the haircut travesty that is that group.

Argyle is literally The Most he’s amazing

Max: I know that you guys are staring at me

Lucas: what? Sorry?

Steve: Jus hangin out

Dustin: you said you needed something?

These three literally can’t be normal ever

Max: you can look at me now

Dustin: thank you

Lucas: sorry

Steve: sorry

No they CANT ever be normal. What freaks I love them.

MAX WHAT THE FUCK GIRL NOT THESE LETTERS that’s so fucking sad

THEY WERE IN MIKES BASEMENT why Nancy wasn’t even fucking there for most of that ?????

“I swear to god Steve, I will prosecute” VIOLENCE when will this man know peace

Robin freaking out in that outfit like she wasn’t in the ugliest band uniform in the world. Complaining about itchy tight clothes and an uncomfy bra and saying she can’t breathe. Neurodivergent.

Robin monologuing rn she’s incredible

Natalia must have pissed off someone in the hair and makeup department bc this season and last season she spent with hair that looks dry and crispy while also being limp, sweaty, and flat, and makeup that looks like it’s in the process of being cried and also sweat off. It’s rough. She’s so pretty but ouch

“If things go south I should mention I’m a black belt in karate now.”

Stranger things’s hot take is that Russians are just Weird.

JOYCE WINKING BACK AT YURI WHILE ALSO LOOKING LIKE SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHES DOING

Hoppers storyline is so so good

This moment between Susan and max is gonna make me lose my marbles. She’s trying to warn her mom and she’s so scared I’m Freaking Out.

Christ. Should’ve known it was too good to be true.

Robin and Nancy gaslighting the shit out of this creepy fucking guy right now.

NOT THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS DUNGEON. This isn’t Anthony Hopkins :/

ROBIN BUCKLEY HELL YEAH TOTALLY CONFIRMED LAST NAME

OH SHIT YES BODY HORROR YES EYELESS MAN

Alright. Well now I see how they’re going to end up in Utah. Doesn’t mean I don’t fucking hate it.

WILL HAS A LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS POSTER IN HIS ROOM I’m going feral I’m froenchfrounch frothing at the mouth.

I’ve never given a shit enough to ship byler but will CLEARLY has a crush on mike and I’m. Feeling very gay about it.

Oh I CANNOT with this shaky cam right now ffs.

Seasons 3/4 Byers’s house getting fucked up classic

Hopper has a broken ankle and also isn’t wearing SHOES.

Never been so happy to watch a man cry while eating peanut butter off his fingers

The Elvira poster is making me also gay.

Christ alive these people can NEVER get a fucking break.

We’re getting so much Steve’s Beamer content this season lmao

Max just fucking TALK TO LUCAS I’m begging I’m begging

I’m getting a lot of Doom Patrol season 1 from victor’s story I’m pretty hear for it. It’s also giving early Supernatural vibes. Like the Bloody Mary episode where she kills people with fatal secrets.

HE CUT HIS OWN EYES OUT WHAT WHAT WHAT

Love this fucking guy

William Hargrove. Gone but not forgotten ✊😔

Also the way I’m gonna ignore Billy’s canon birthday literally forever.

I do NOT fucking believe neil “couldn’t stand being here without you” no he was fucking missing his gotdamn punching bag you can say it

THIS is the redemption arc the thought billy deserved???? Bitch he deserved so much fucking MORE.

Steve is a nail biter #canon

Also I already saw Dacre’s post so I know he comes back as a flashback but I heard that fucking laugh and I LOST IT

STEVE SAYING “time to giddy up, yeah?” IM CRYING HES SUCH A LOSER OMG THE SHOW PONY OF IT ALL

Vecna Billy stomping out of the mist to fuck with Max meanwhile I’m YELLING

I’m sorry but Dacre is the best actor that’s been on this fucking show and they really just killed him the fuck off

ROBIN MADE THE MUSIC CONNECTION GOOD THING MAX HAS HER WALKMAN AND HER KATE BUSH TAPEim so fucking stressed I’m so fucking stressed

Lol how long do you think dacre was in makeup for just to have thirty seconds on screen.

PICK A SONG FASTER YOU IDIOTS

THE KATE BUSH BEING HER FAVORITE WAS A JOKE I MADE TO THE TV STOP STOP

(No shade I love Kate bush it’s just funny I don’t see max being into her)

Running up that hill really can save lives

Shit. The power of friendship really pulled through for max here

#yikes talks #okay time for bed bed no more for tonight #st4 #stranger things spoiler #strangerthingsspoilers

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imnotreal-png · 1 month

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>:) -- Entry 1

OK i just smoked a joint after i wrote the date and now im kinda chillin but imma still yap on dis hoe.

I am a loser. Like a huge loser, okay? Like im not dumb or wtv, i may have reached a weird and insane level of self awareness, but im just as much of a loser as anyone else.

I keep catching myself trying to people please and overstepping my boundaries and justifying it with "oh everyone else does it, so what, its normal" like ok dumb bitch that doesn't make it okay, get a grip.

But i will be yapping away abt alot of stupid bullshit i deal with and stupid things make me sad. I am very well aware that I am irrational, but these are things i feel in those moments that i always hold in because i don't want people 2 see that weak side of me. It's embarrassing and it's not me.

In truth, i have nooo idea what i'm doing. I have 0 clue on where i'll be in the future. I didn't think i'd make it this far and not on some suicidal shit (idk if u can say that word here, oops.), i just genuinely thought that i'd somehow perish?? Like i wasn't really real in some weird way. I just didn't exist. Even though i was always the center of drama or the cause of all things chaotic, i was always misunderstood. god that's so fucking cringe but hear me out.

I always said shit that i believed was clear enough to be understood and yet it wasn't. Even my tone apparently has been rude this entire time. But no one would actually tell me how i come off, they just ate it up in silence and then spaz on me. Even now i don't really understand because i truly believe i am very clear on what im saying. Yet it's still...not seen the way im trying to show it? Idk if im making any sense bruh but whatever. Maybe im narcissistic but no one understands my brain the way i attempt to express it...or i guess how i see it. Idk i guess im just frustrated that no one understands me or gets my brain.

Also it's super cringe when people tell me im mature for my age. Literally eat my shit. actual ick. get away from me.

I hate my mom. She hates me too but she hates me bc I'm not the pussy she wishes she was when she was my age. She's the most childish person i know. I genuinely do not care what she thinks of me whatsoever. She's just power hungry and immature. Actually, I don't even hate her, i just hate that she gets to have all this power over me. I just want my freedom, thats it. She can hate my lifestyle or whatever the fuck, as long as im not living with her. At the end of the day, im truly content with who i am as a person and my moral compass etc, she cant affect that. I just need to have my own space and leave her household to finally be free and actually experience life in a comfortable and more peaceful way. I guess that's all i can say rn. I just wish she would respect my boundaries and stop treating me like im her competition and she'll always be superior. She won't and i cannot wait for the day she finally see's that lol.

!! super irrational moment alert !!

LMAO this is super cringe but like when i started music i put "listen 2 my moozik" in my bio bc we say muzik in albanian but americans wud have 2 read it as moozik to get it right + its funny? Ever since i started rlly getting exposure and performing out there, all these NON SLAVS/BALKANS have started putting it in their bio's 🙄 like be fr, its sooo obvious (at least to me). And now some of these mfs i've interacted w startes stealing my lingo and the way i type [this isn't how i type when i txt friends. its worse and i shorten everything in a miserable way cuz its funny] and it's cute at first but now mfs on social media posting the way i do and talking the way i do. [insert side eye bc yeah] and it's kinda cringe cuz they're actually rlly shallow and mainstream people, they just look like they trying 2 hard to be quirky. lol.

im probably tweakin tho idk.

i wish i grew up with art. i wish my parents had that and were able to introduce it to me. I feel like a fraud when i try to be creative and do things. Even with making music. As much as i enjoy it and love it and it really does make me happy, it feels fake. I can't play any instruments, i can't sing, im far from a good writer, fuck if know anything abt music theory...i literally just click buttons and make sounds on my computer lol. I didn't grow up indulging in art and creativity, i was actually always super bad at it. I wish i had a deeper connection with it. I wish i understood it better. I wish i expressed it better. I wish my ideas were my own. I want to be able to create something that is truly mine without feeling like im a fake.

UHHHH so imma just come on here and vent whenever i feel like i have something i need 2 say. This is intended for the void, if u come across it...cringe.

#vent post #journal #diary entry #advice

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nothing-a-good-nap-cant-fix · 1 year

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now that school has allowed face to face, my thoughts are more reorganized, and im not spiraling into the same cycles in the comfort of my own bed. Now, ive met some people who were able to help me settle in the normal every day interactions and activities.

It makes things easier for me to get a ground of where im currently at, and evaluate my current state of mind and im able to grasp my thoughts and explain them in an understandable way. I don't talk in blurs anymore and dont speak in incomprehensible frenzy of emotions and mental breakdowns. Mentally, and psychologically. Physical doesnt matter to me anymore.

Speaking of physical, ever since i left my relatives and went back to staying home, the impact of my stay there severely affected me. I remember constant reminders of how i look. The shape of my body, my hygiene, my figure. It was a daily comment. Maybe to them, it was innocent. Maybe because they already said it to each other on the daily and weren't affected by it, they thought it was okay to joke about mine as well. I dont know. All i know that for once in my life i started caring about the thing i saw whenever i passed by the mirror. I couldnt bear to look at my face anymore knowing it was me. It was painful knowing that this was the body i lived in. I couldnt even skip meals to make me feel even just a little bit better, and avoid them, because theyd always start accusing me of acting emotional, being bitter, being immature, emo, moody, whatever words an adult can throw at a developing teenager. I wanted to die.

I had little to no privacy, sharing a room with someone, bunk bed, in a cramped stuffy room, no door to block out anything. The only personal space i had was my own bed, which even people liked to occasionally drag me from. I had issues with school at the time, that's why i was living with them. But they weren't helping. All they did was scold me about why i couldnt solve it on my own. They said that they were my age when they could already supervise their own school files, and that i should know it too. They shouldnt be doing stuff for me, they said. Im old enough, they said. But i dont know how to do it. I cant do it. They say im weird because im always scared to talk to people to ask to people. They get mad when i couldnt buy eggs because i was scared. I didn't know where the store is and even though they gave instructions. It was already hard for me to go out and buy normally. whatever.

Im so tired. I have to deal with everything that comes my way and i just want to scream and kick and cry.

But what if i do? Nothing will happen. Nothing will change. Ill just look more stupid. I might do something that will make more issues for me. I cant risk it, itll ruin my already peaceful situation.

I hate sundays. Its when my parents decide to stay home for the day and get mad at some point eventually. Usually, its about the messy state of our house. About how we should clean. Always so messy, they said.

Im tired. I dont want to live like this anymore. Ive changed. Thank goodness. I dont want to die anymore. I dont think ive ever wanted to die. I just wanted to stop existing to people. I want to stay as a spectator forever. All i do is watch from the sidelines. I dont want to be acknowledged, or known, or even seen.

Whatever.

Im tired. I want to cry. But i cant. Whatll it do? Nothing. It does nothing. It just makes me look more stupid. It will give me a cold. Itll have people aksing why im crying. Stupid dumbfucks. I wish theyd go somwhere else. I hate it when people ask if im okay. I want to bash their brains in. They should be shutting up. Sht the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut up bitch. Dead dead adead die die die die die die die die. Im tired. Maybe i should start smoking. But they said its painful. What should i do? Self harm? I cant do slits. Too showy. People will notice. They might even report me. Embarassing, theyll ask bulldhit questions at the office. What the fuck. I need something. Ah. Starving. I can. I should stop eating. Dad said i was growing weaker. I regret eating today. I wish i ddint eat. I wish i didny ask for anythibg. I wish i starved starve starve

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol

#tom x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #angsty #pregnant!reader

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pillage-and-lute · 3 years

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Why Public Transport Should be Funded

Nobody wants to sit next to a Witcher on the bus. Geralt had just spent a long day trapping Drowners in the city sewer main and humanely transporting them to a mythical wildlife sanctuary park on the edge of town. Normally, he would have just driven the company truck back to Vesemir and Sons’ Witcher ™ Pest Control, which was a old, well-renovated, brick building with apartments above it, where the witchers lived. Today, though, the truck had managed to blow three of its four tires, so Geralt called the tow truck and took the bus.

The bus was full, people jostled together and standing in the aisles, clinging to railings. Despite this, they gave Geralt his space. He stood, head down, next to the rear doors, beside the space left for those with bicycles or large luggage. A group of college kids got on, chattering happily. Geralt recognized the lioness on one’s baseball cap. Cintra U, then. No wonder, they were all talking about the big rivalry football game against Nilfgaard College.

At the next stop Geralt saw a young man through the window. He was holding several large cases and stopped, a desolate look on his face as the bus started to pull away before he could get there.

Geralt pulled the Stop Requested rope, which made a pleasant ding.

“Gotta keep on schedule,” yelled the bus driver from the front.

Geralt stepped a little to the side, so that the driver would be able to see him in the rearview mirror, witcher swords (peace tied as required by law) and all. He pulled the stop rope a few more times, more insistently.

Enhanced ears picked up the sigh as the driver stopped the bus and let the bedraggled young man on. He entered from the rear doors, shouting a cheery,

“Thank you so much!” Up to the driver.

He was carrying three instrument cases and a large backpack. Geralt jerked his head meaningfully at the college kids and they made a space for the man to put his luggage.

Now that Geralt could see him better, he realized that man was perhaps not the best description. Oh, he certainly wasn’t a boy, he was at least twenty-five, if you went by his face, but if you went by his slightly pointed ears he wasn’t even human, and was likely a lot older than he looked.

The half elf scooped brown hair from his eyes with one hand, pulling it back to air it out as he panted, sweating. A drop of it ran down a pleasingly rounded cheek.

“That damn bus driver has never waited for me before,” he panted. “Wonder who I have to thank for it.”

“Mmh,” Geralt said, non-committaly. Half elves were generally on the finer side of bone structure, but this one was pretty and had a pleasing solidness to his frame. The stranger seemed to be waiting on a response, though, so Geralt said, “Do you make a habit of being late?”

The half elf laughed. It was a good sound, nice and rounded with a delightfully hideous snort at the end. “Pretty much,” he said. “I do music therapy at the CBSS, and it gets done five minutes before the bus comes, but I can never pack up in time.

The CBSS, better known as the Center for Beings of Smaller Sizes, hosted events that catered to gnomes, pixies, brownies and goblins, all of which were too small to easily attend community events with larger folk. Geralt had been in once to teach a class on unicorn-proofing. Most of the participants had been under six inches, high, but they had happily provided Geralt with a human-sized chair.

“So is it you I have to thank for not having to walk home?” The half elf said, canting his hips a little and slinking a step closer. Despite what Geralt’s brothers said, he could recognize flirting if it hit him in the face, and the musician in front of him was practically beating him with the flirtation stick.

“Just pulled the stop rope,” Geralt grunted, decidedly not looking at the way the half elf’s lashes fluttered along his cheeks. He wished he weren’t still wearing his black coveralls.

The bus jolted to a stop and the half elf, hands full with the smallest of his instrument cases, went hurtling forward. Geralt scruffed him like a kitten, grabbing the back of his hoodie and pulling him safely back.

And right into Geralt’s chest. The musician grinned up at him, tilting his head back onto Geralt’s shoulder and looking like the cat who’d got the cream, the butter, and the lamb roast too.

“Normally I make people buy me dinner first, but since you’re saving me from a dreadful fate,” He licked his lips and basically purred. “I’ll allow it.” He traced the silver wolf’s head logo on Geralt’s coveralls.

“A witcher, huh?”

Geralt nodded, much too focused on the way the musician’s eyes crinkled at the corners.

“Smelling of death and destiny,” the musician said. “Heartbreak and heroics.”

“It’s sewage,” Geralt said, deadpan, just to hear that wonderful laugh again. He’d in fact changed into clean coveralls before driving out to the sanctuary. The half elf grinned at him again, but began gathering his luggage back into his arms and rummaging in his backpack. He scrawled something in sparkly gel pen on the back of Geralt’s hand.

“This is my stop, Hero,” he said. “But if ya maybe want to take me out to dinner sometime, there’s my number.”

The pretty musician hopped off the bus and Geralt heard him shout “I’m Jaskier, by the way!” just as the doors slid shut with a pneumatic hiss.

Geralt rode the rest of the way back to Vesemir and Sons’ with his head in a fuzzy pink cloud. On the back of his hand the phone number glittered. Maybe, just maybe, he’d try a phone call.

#geraskier #the witcher #modern with magic #meet cute #bus rides and pretty boys

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lostgreekgod · 2 years

Text

change

a/n: yes. i did not know what to call this. sorry. also sorry for the slow-fast-slow-slow-really fast thing ? its how I felt, reading it. but tbh I didn't proof read as much. so plot holes, gigantic plot holes.

pairing: loki x f!reader; enemies to lovers.

request:

word count: 5936

warnings: um i think theres like hints of suicide mentions. death. oh also depression metions. lmk if you find anything else

a/a/n: my 2nd request! anon didnt give me a pronoun preference, so i did a f!reader. hope i did you justice with the story, anon.

oh another a/n bc i cant stop talking: i had to write the beginning about 3 times. I like slow development, and a one shot with enemies to lovers AND a kiss seemed rlly hard to write, but nevertheless. also omg the amount of research I did for this.

taglist: @theaudacitytowrite @gaitwae lmk if u want to be added!

2 months. That’s how long y/n had been holed up in the Avenger’s towers. Sure, she appreciated the amenities and the other various provisions, but she had to leave. She was sick and tired of “playing a part to help”. That’s what the doctor—Baron Strucker—told her before she was ruthlessly experimented on, and that’s what SHIELD told her when she was rescued. Of course, at one point in her life, she had thought of doing something for the world, but now? All she wanted now was some peace. She simply wanted to resign into the flow of life and its rigorous cycles of life and death, go wherever fate led her. Oh, what she would do for a little cabin in the woods—she would go berry picking every day with a little golden dog that she would love more than life. She would enjoy the solace, her mind thrumming with happiness as she took in the simplest worldly pleasures. But instead, she was stuck here, “training” so she could “save the world”. She wished she could simply tuck her abilities away, pretend they never existed.

‘You have the ability to manipulate binding energy,’ they had said to her. Apparently, she could alter the structural—sometimes molecular constitution of any object or substance in her vicinity. Her younger self would cherish her powers, but right now, y/n would do anything to live a normal life. Just when she thought her life couldn’t be worse, she was ordered to train with a said god to enhance her deranged abilities. Loki—the God of Lies and Mischief—also possessed a set of powers, rather on similar lines as hers. Except, he could manipulate his surroundings and create new things to suit his needs, while y/n’s abilities were all about destruction. She could tear anything—anything apart, regardless of how tight its atomic constituent was. It certainly scared her, the fact that she had still not managed to get her powers to work at her will, but almost everyone assured her that she would soon. Except Loki. He told her that she would never be able to wield her abilities to their full extent, that she would never be a hero. Surprisingly, she agreed. She was too unstable to control them, she had felt it. Every time she tried summoning her powers, nothing would happen. Not even when she stretched her arms out and everything. But oh, when she got mad, boom! Everything around her would literally explode! She had seen the look in people’s eyes when she caused something like that. Monster, they would say. No matter how unintentional it was, she still had those memories ingrained in her mind; after all, they visited her every night in her nightmares.

“Get away from me!” the woman yelled with her child limp in her arms, tears streaming down her face. Her lip wobbled as she tried to contain what was left of her sanity.

“I’m only trying to help- “ y/n stammered, her hands shaking. What had she done?

“He is dead, because of you. You are done trying to help. Get away from me, you monster!” the woman yelled, shoving at her—and that’s when all of y/n’s bodily functions stopped, her heart running cold. She was a monster.

She sighed loudly. Every other day, she would wake up breathing so heavily, FRIDAY would ask her if she needed a doctor. Her skin would be coated with sweat; it would drip down her chin when she sat up. Her heart would beat so hard against her ribs, almost as if it would tear off and run away screaming. But not for long, she would promise herself. No one would get hurt at her expense. She needed the perfect plan to escape the Avengers—she was smart enough to know that if she was caught, she wouldn’t be given the same liberty she had now. There would always be eyes on her, and she would never be able to leave. They’d probably put a camera in her room, even perhaps put a transmitter in her skin, and that was something she was wholly against.

“Knock-knock, time for training!” Steve’s cheery voice rang outside y/n’s door.

Mustering the best happy voice possible, she called back, “Be right there!” Sighing, she shifted out of her sheets and headed for the shower. She had a long day before she could commit to her planning.

Loki warmed up in the empty room. Or he tried to. He was mostly just flipping his dagger in his hand, his chest jittering in nervousness, but his face always the cold neutral mask. He was supposed to train y/n every day, and it was getting on his last nerve. Sure, the Midgardian was very much gifted, but he was much worried for her. Not to mention the things he seemed to be… feeling for her. He told himself it was only because she was a lot like him. She simply needed a mentor. So why couldn’t he be what she needed? He could see how hard she struggled to control the energy within her, he could see how she was in need of desperate help. Yet, he was harsher with her than he was with the other heroes, never missing an opportunity to wound her verbally. She needed to stay away from him, and since Rogers wouldn’t honor his wishes about not wanting to be y/n’s instructor, the only way for him to make sure he wouldn’t have to spend any longer with her was to have her despise him so much, that she asked Steve to stop her training with him. She was a new addition to the group, so most obviously the soldier would make sure that she got whatever she needed like the honorable, benevolent captain he was. But what surprised him was how y/n seemed to agree with every insult he shot at her. He would call her worthless, and she wouldn’t even blink an eye at him. He would tell her that she was insignificant, that she was simply dead weight to the Avengers, and she would simply gesture at him to continue with the training and hurry back to the sanctity of the room the moment they were done for the day. Most obviously, he could see that she was planning something, but what?

y/n channeled another wave of white energy through her fingers towards him, screaming. But all her effort couldn’t even shake the god from his stance. She inhaled again, charging at him. Combat, he had said to her. Today, she was working on implementing the energy around her in combat, and she was not doing well. She threw a weakly made fist at him, him easily dodging. She turned around, stretching her leg in the air, a kick aimed for the face. He gripped her calf as she laid one hand on his chest. Just when he thought it was over, she channeled a small burst of energy at him, causing him to stumble back, pulling her with him. She fell against him onto the floor, her face inches away from his. She stared into his green, green eyes—they were like little droplets of rainwater. Not entirely blue, but not exactly colorless either. Just pale, almost transparent, with the littlest specks of green and gray. It looked like the sky, just before it would begin to snow. Shivers ran up her spine, she could feel the chill of the crisp color. It reminded her of a gentle breeze before an obvious storm. Subconsciously, she leaned towards him, before Loki pushed her off of him, bringing her back to her senses. His heart thundered in his chest. She had almost kissed him, and he would have let her. He had to end this. Now.

“And what in Midgard was that?” Loki’s steely voice came a few seconds later. Y/n said nothing. She simply lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. She wasn’t one to explain her internal torment, especially not to someone who seemed to hate her so much. She shut her eyes, regretting letting her guard down. He looked at her with no expression on his face, except a slight scorn adorning his lips—she thought it was because of how sweaty she looked with her clothes drenched and her lungs screaming for oxygen. Oh, what she would do if she had known otherwise.

“I asked you a question.” His voice came again, baritone as ever. Y/n ran that voice over in her head. That sweet, euphonious voice that coated his words like icing on a cake. But the angelic voice he had just never suited the tone in which he spoke with her. She wondered how he would sound when he spoke to a lover. She thought of sweet whispers of secret love, his cool, calm voice, and shuddered. Perhaps in another life, she would have done something for the attraction she felt towards him. Perhaps if she were a different person, someone stronger, smarter, someone without as many problems, she would honor the urge she felt in her mind every time her eyes landed on him. It angered her how HYDRA had stolen her life from her in just a short amount of time, her last moments of leading a normal, content life snatched away from her like taking candy from a baby.

Loki watched her as she struggled to channel her energy towards the target. She was distracted, and it was not because of their “moment” earlier. Every time she readied herself to harness the energy around her, a wisp of a look would pass her eyes and she would falter. He wondered what caused that.

“Get up, mortal. I do not have all day.”

y/n was done. She couldn’t do anything more for the day. The boy’s face engulfed her mind, the cries of his mother filling her ears. What was she thinking? She did not deserve love. Not after what she did. She was only trying to help.

“Now!” Loki ordered, his foot slightly kicking hers in an attempt to bring her back from wherever her mind had drifted. He saw how her eyes became glassy-- as if she was indulging in an old memory. Almost as if it pained her to witness the same repeatedly. He tried calming his feral heart. He wondered when his mind had given up on all reasoning, letting him feel the wrath of his little pumping organ.

Now, her anger was directed towards him. Who was he to tell her what to do? She didn’t have to follow anyone’s orders, much less his. She was the only one who trained day and night, and at what expense? Loki’s amusement? No thanks.

“No.” she deadpanned; her eyes still focused on the ceiling.

“I beg your pardon?” he sputtered at her incredulous response.

Meeting his eyes with her still glassy ones, she repeated. “I said no.”

Loki stared at her for a moment. The Midgardian had just defied his direct order. She surely was something else. He studied her eyes, how the e/c irises seemed almost devoid of any life. His heart yearned to comfort her, betraying his quiet mind with its stranger intentions.

Shaking his head, he said again, “I will have to report you, then.”

“Go ahead.” Anyone was smart enough to know that was the last thing Loki would do. He wasn’t one to approach the Captain, especially not for such insolent matters. What was y/n playing at?

“Do you really take me for a fool? When I ask you to get up, you do as I say. Or did you forget I am your instructor?” he said, his voice edging with a warning. Y/n was now getting on his last nerve.

She stared at him, her eyes never leaving his. She wasn’t going to do it. No one orders her around; she was now a free individual. Isn’t that what SHIELD told her when she was rescued? She could do as she liked, unlike how it was when she was being… experimented on.

“I’m not doing it. I told you I was done for the day. I am going to leave,” she said, getting up from her place on the floor. Loki watched her, still bewildered. He had thought a lot of things about her, but he never thought she would be so bold. Who was she? How would she have been, if she wasn’t made to endure the torture that she had? Would she be happy, smile that brilliant smile? Would her eyes radiate the joy that he had seen only in her older pictures? When she was wild and full of life, when she was free?

He whipped his hand around, green strands of seidr erupting from his fingertips, and y/n was back in front of him again, instead of at the door. He wouldn’t let this happen again. This was the end of his time with y/n. He had to get a grip over his foolish heart.

“Hey!” she yelled, her hands clenching. She could feel the anger surge deep in her. Could he not let her be? She wanted to be alone after the embarrassment she had caused herself. Oh, how she regretted it.

Loki couldn’t help the little smirk on his face. He watched as she took a deep breath and glared at him before turning to leave again. He snapped his fingers, and there she was again, in front of him, ugly anger simmering in the pit of her stomach.

“You are no match for me, and you never will be. So you might as well treat me with some respect,” he spat, his heart stuttering for a moment in response to his harshness. But he might as well do it. He couldn’t train with her, not if he was going to have confused “feelings” festering in his heart. He had to make sure she went to Steve asking for a change of training instructors, it was for the best.

Breathing again, y/n tried to keep the anger down. She knew what happened the last time she had felt such anger. Monster.

“Let me go,” she spat, her eyes sharp.

“Worthless. That’s what you are,” he teased, his heart still thumping hard against his ribcage. It seemed to tell him, don’t do it! don’t! But when had he ever listened to his heart? Especially when it was being so unreasonable?

“We already established that. Let me leave,” she said, her breathing shallow. “Please,” she added a second later. She had to regain control of the energy festering in her core. No, no, no, her conscious chanted.

“You can’t be an Avenger with just powers, y/l/n. You need skill.” He said, his voice laced with venom his heart didn’t intend for.

y/n studied his eyes, wondering where he was going with this. Surely, he couldn’t know of her countless mess-ups…

Finish it! His mind yelled at him.

“You couldn’t even save him,” he whispered, never leaving her eyes. Of course. Of course, he had read her file. Why wouldn’t he have? Her killing someone was no news in a tower full of heroes. After all, accidents were what made the best of them. He watched as her eyes widened and her lip quivered, before her irises narrowed into slits, and gritted her teeth. And that was when all hell broke loose.

“You have no idea what I’ve been through.” She whispered, her voice colder than ice. A shiver ran up his spine. A moment ago, she was so close to breaking apart, but now she looked like a statue set in stone, her teeth baring out, snarling at him.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Crack, went his heart. He sighed internally as he braced himself.

“It’s pathetic. You are pathetic.” He managed to breathe out before he was thrown back into the walls, the steel around him suddenly shattering, exploding everywhere. He summoned his daggers in a flash, only to land his eyes on a now levitating y/n, her body suspended in mid-air as she glared at him with completely white eyes, glowing like the morning light. Her hands were now fists at her sides, sheer power radiating around them. Wisps of white strands of energy looped around her figure, making her look almost ethereal. Her hair floated around her as if they were disturbed by a slight breeze. Electric. That was what she was.

y/n didn’t know what happened. One moment she was in pieces, her heart about to shatter at his accusation, and the next moment she was suspended in air, feeling such power in her bones, as if she could do anything.

“I am not pathetic.” She said, her voice sweet as honey. She scrunched her eyebrows. That was not what she sounded like. It was almost as if the energy around her caused the sound to resonate, her voice reverberating against itself, causing multiple tones. Either way, it was all so beautiful, even Loki was mesmerized for a second.

y/n looked down at her hands, the white energy swimming between her fingertips, ready to strike. Monster, she remembered. This is what had happened before the boy had died. Before she had killed him. She simply reached out to him, and she had somehow sucked the energy out of him. She hadn’t told anyone how she felt at that moment. She felt power. True, raw power, almost as if the boy’s energy had transferred into her. It destroyed her how she could feel such ecstasy at the price of one’s life. It disgusted her. He’s right. You are worthless. A monster. You deserve to rot.

She fell to her knees, all that power quickly dissipating with a metallic thrum, leaving a smell of electricity in the air, like something had been singed. She held her hands to her heart, wishing she could rip it out. Could she, perchance? With tears streaming down her face, she met a fascinated Loki’s eyes. It was almost as if he was excited. Like HYDRA was, when they first witnessed their superweapon in action. She scrunched her eyebrows, her voice laced with venom, “I hate you.” Pushing herself up, she ran. She didn’t know where she wanted to go, she simply ran. Hands pumping beside her, her legs weeping under the stress of the running. She didn’t stop. She couldn’t. After all, she didn’t deserve it. She let the pain seep into her muscles, her tendons screaming at the lack of aeration. She sobbed again; the ball of pain still lodged in her throat. She turned back to the Avenger’s tower. She was leaving tonight.

----

She shoved some clothes in a duffel, her carefully curated plan of many months forgotten. It had been too long, too long of spending a comfortable time in the tower, getting everything she needed. She didn’t deserve any of it, not after what she had done.

Sniffing, she wiped at the tears on her cheeks haphazardly. She put on a plain black shirt with grey jeans and combat boots and walked out of her room. She would run far, far away where she could hurt no one and keep her abilities tucked away for good. She made her way to the kitchen, deciding to sneak through the back doors of the cafeteria. The cameras wouldn’t be operative in those sectors, she would be able to make it out of the compound rather easily. Pushing the door open, she made sure not to make any noise. Just because the cameras weren’t functioning, she couldn’t afford to be calm. She had to be faster in getting out. Hugging the wall, she shifted her way into the kitchen, her eyes scanning for any heroes nearby. She could hear Thor’s snores coming from a nearby room. She turned towards the center table, and her heart leaped as she instinctively ducked. Loki. Of all days, the insomniac had chosen this day to stay up and read late in the night. He hummed a little tune as he prepared his tea. Little did y/n know that one of the reasons he couldn’t sleep that night was because of her. He simply couldn’t get over how he had hurt her. His heart convulsed whenever he saw the image of her tear-streaked face, her eyes focused on the energy radiating off her hands like she had seen something terrible. A monster. He wished he had picked something else to drive her mad over. He turned around to fetch himself his favorite honey and lemon tea bag, his eyes catching some quick movement. A little more assessment revealed to him that it was none other than y/n. He stayed calm, minding his own business. Why was she here? Maybe she needed a midnight snack? He had sometimes heard her screaming in her room, possibly from nightmares, did she have another one now? But why was she hiding from him?

y/n shifted behind the wall again. She was certain he had seen her, the little shift in his demeanor—the sudden stiffness of his body being on alert gave his neutral face away. She stepped away from the wall. She would have to fight her way through. Loki had seen her at her peak, and not to mention how he too once wanted nothing to do with the Avengers, so perhaps he would be more thoughtful and simply let her go.

“Hello, y/n,” Loki said, without looking up from his cup. Perhaps this was a confrontation? y/n had never once lost her cool in front of him, not even when he degraded her with the vilest of insults. Maybe she wanted him to apologize? Stop thinking, he chided at himself. She hasn’t even said anything yet.

He finally glanced at her, only to freeze. She looked like she was up and ready to go, hair away from her face, comfortable clothes, and… a bag. Not any bag. A duffel bag. Her eyes were puffy, her nose red—like she had been crying. She never cried. This only meant one thing. She was running away.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice soft, his mind cautious of her movements. If she was planning on sneaking away, he was an obstacle she had come across at the last minute. A hurdle she would have to cross.

y/n stared at him for a moment. Would he let her go? “Leaving.” She said, her voice as soft as his. Maybe a display of some emotion would help her.

Loki waited for a beat. “Why?” he questioned.

y/n felt her anger simmer again. Why was she always being interviewed, all her actions always questioned? It was like she was back at HYDRA, always being told what to do, never being able to do what she wanted without begging for permission. Nothing was different from HYDRA and the Avengers headquarters, except for the fact that the Avengers provided some twisted sort of so-called freedom. She was going to be made to hurt people if her energy was continued to be harnessed. But she wouldn’t allow that. Not again.

“Because.” She wondered what to say. She could have threatened him, but that would only make him warier of her. But with being calm, if all goes down, she would still have an advantage over him, and might just be able to make a narrow escape.

“Because…” Loki said, motioning at her to continue. It irritated him how he could still have feelings festering for her when she could annoy him easily by simply wasting words.

Y/n sighed through her nose. Perhaps she would have to threaten him. “As much as I loved our training,” she scoffed, “I believe it's time for me to leave. I do not belong here.”

What was she saying? Of course, she belonged here, it was him who didn’t belong. She was so powerful, and no matter how much she tried to deny it, she had a kind heart. He had seen how she smiled at little moments subconsciously—he was there when she had petted a little stray puppy, assuming that no one was looking. But he watched. He watched as she smiled sadly, her eyes betraying her strong poise. She giggled lightly as the pup tried to lick her face, her hands reaching out to scratch its fur. He smiled, his heart wishing her life had a better story to live.

“I’m afraid I don’t take your meaning,” he breathed, his eyes never leaving hers. He noticed how they flickered down to the ground for a moment, before returning to connect with his, a new fire lighting them up.

You’re a monster! Get away! y/n could hear the woman screaming at her. She would fight Loki and leave, or she would die trying to get past him. Either was fine, as long as she would never, ever have to use her cursed abilities again.

“Because I want to. And you cannot stop me,” she whispered, her voice hinting at the tiniest of a threat. Please, she wanted to add.

“I’m afraid I cannot do so.” He whispered sternly, setting his cup down. He had caught the threat in her voice. He only wanted her to be away from him, but he seemed to have taken it too far. She was going to leave, and his heart wouldn’t let that happen. How would she fend for herself? She wasn’t even stable. What if another accident took place, and this time she was in the center of it? she could barely deal with the death of the little boy, how would she deal with herself if her abilities had gotten the best of her again? It would destroy her, entirely, and his stubborn heart wouldn’t let that happen to her, not when he knew he could have done something to prevent it.

y/n’s heart thumped loudly. Would she be able to fight her way past Loki? Her energy was stronger, but his seidr was quicker. Sneakier. “Suit yourself,” she whispered back, before taking a step towards him. Her eyes began to glow white, a brilliant light that could magic anyone, as her hands summoned power. Ringlets of white swam around her like wisps of smoke. One last time, she told herself. One last time, and she wouldn’t ever have to use her abilities again. Not that she was any good anyway. Loki breathed through his nose, trying to calm his speeding heart. He could never get over how beautiful her form was.

“Move,” she said, her voice echoing, ricocheting against itself. Beauty. Beauty that a monster like her didn’t deserve. It couldn’t hurt to try for a last compromise before forcing her way out.

Loki huffed. He didn’t realize y/n would put use of her gifts. It mildly surprised him, that she would summon her energy to get past him. Countless times where she could have used her abilities for little things like he did, she never did. That hesitation he usually saw in her eyes, that quiver in her lips, the slight shaking of her fingers—he could see none of them. It was as if that one barricade that usually disabled her from ensuring basic jurisdiction over her abilities now fuelled her desire to escape. He summoned his seidr, green fibers of satin-like seidr erupting from his fingertips. He wouldn’t hurt her. Never.

y/n clenched her hands into fists, feeling the energy fighting to leave her. She was simply a mediator; she couldn’t create energy. She simply took the energy from one place and deposited it in another. Shutting her eyes, she felt it swirl in her gut, hissing and crackling like electricity. One last time. Never again. Breathing out slowly, she kept her hands outstretched and opened her palms, letting the energy leave her through her fingertips. It felt like hours, this little action of hers, but little did she know this took a mere few nanoseconds.

One moment Loki had summoned his seidr, the green filaments tickling the insides of his fingertips; and the next, he was thrown across the kitchen, his vision blurring. How had she suddenly acquired the capability of harnessing such energy? He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them. Where were the rest of the Avengers? Surely, they would have heard the commotion by now? Wanda and Pietro were y/n’s only friends, they would definitely be able to calm her, so where were they? He held his hands to his chest, his mind still dazed from the impact. He laughed internally. How long had it been since he had taken a hit so hard? He scanned the room, noticing the shimmer of her power around it. She had created some sort of force field that kept all activity of her abilities inside it, like a containment—preventing an accidental explosion. Clever. Perhaps the field contained sound too, which was probably why the others weren’t alerted.

y/n wanted to scream. Just one little energy blast. That was all it took her to veritably destroy a god. She had brought a god down to his knees in just a few seconds, and power still surged within her bones. She truly was a monster. She shut her eyes, slowly letting the energy dissipate from her body. Sure, the force field would have prevented a mishap, but she wouldn’t have it. This was the last time she would use her “gift”, and she would control it entirely, not the other way round. She met Loki’s eye’s once more, his green pale eyes—and wished things would have been different for the umpteenth time. Little did she know, he wished for the same thing.

Loki’s chest felt heavy, like he carried a huge anchor on his back. What had he done? He couldn’t lose her—he had to fix his mess. He teleported himself in front of her, blocking the exit. He wasn’t strong enough to stop her, but he knew what to do this time.

y/n gasped. She walked right into Loki, he had teleported himself in front of her and she had reacted too slowly. His hands help her by her shoulders, warmth radiating off of his palms. She could feel it through the thick material of her t-shirt.

“y/n,” he breathed. “You are making a mistake.”

Ignoring her thrashing heart, she managed to whisper, sarcasm edging into her voice. “Really?”

He shook her lightly. He wished he could take it all back. It was all his fault. He had destroyed what little resolve she had in her. He could see it in her e/c eyes. The lifelessness, the withering of her very soul.

“I was wrong. You are more than worthy. You did not deserve what HYDRA and Strucker did to you,” he said, his eyes searching hers. He wished he could tell her everything he felt, speaking in a language could never truly express what one felt in their heart.

y/n scoffed. Oh, how she wanted to believe him. “You are only saying these things to stop me from leaving. But here’s the thing. I have made my decision,” she said, her voice sullen, giving her away. Monster, monster, monster, you do not deserve to live, her mind chanted.

“I am not a hero,” she concluded, the lump in her throat choking her. “I have killed people. I am a monster.” And at that moment, it was as if a huge weight had released her, but her heart felt like it was hanging by a thread. Her revelation had caused her a short-termed relief, but by confessing her darkest secret, she had acknowledged its truth, and somehow it made everything worse.

“y/n,” Loki said again. Was he too late? Was she gone forever? “I may be the God of Lies, but right now, this very moment, I need you to trust me.” Leaning in towards her, he continued, his voice soft, like how y/n had imagined once too many times. “You are not a monster. When you know what you’ve done, when you regret your actions, you prove that you aren’t a monster. You prove to the world that you are as human as one could possibly be, you prove to yourself that you are deserving of forgiveness. It may take more time, even years, but you will learn to forgive yourself, you will learn to accept yourself as who you are. I am well aware that my previous actions have done nothing to help you, and I must admit that was awfully foolish and hasty on my part—courtesy of the little secret feelings I have recently begun to harbor for you,” he paused, running his tongue across his lower lip. He had just confessed his little secret. y/n looked at him with teary eyes, and at that moment he could see all the pain she felt, he could feel everything she felt. “I see you; I see myself in you—and you must believe me when I tell you that though you may never move on, you will grow from this. After all, is that not what truly matters?”

y/n wished he was lying to her. Sadly, he wasn’t—and she knew it. She wished she could see herself in a different light, a kinder one, and a little speck of hope blossomed in the darkest parts of her heart. Maybe, just maybe, she could grow. One day perhaps, her mind wouldn’t call her a monster, and she would have forgiven herself. Maybe she could let herself be happy. Ultimately, is that not what anyone wanted? To just be truly happy? To be able to live their life to the fullest, without any regrets, without their guilt consuming them every second of every day? To live a wholesome life, and to die a happy death?

Loki sensed the shift in the atmosphere, how she had loosened up slightly, her heart registering his words. He felt his heart lift up in newfound hope. He ran his thumb over her forehead, pushing back the little strands of hair before settling on her jaw; just like he had imagined doing countless times. The air suddenly smelled of promises, and a glimmer of sweet happiness. It was almost infective.

“Do you really mean it?” y/n asked him, her voice filled with hope, her heart beating like it suddenly had a reason to do so. Like it had discovered life again. That life was worth living.

Loki smiled, a little quirk of his lips, a little crinkle in the corner of his eyes. He glanced at her lips before closing the little distance between them. y/n relished the new surge she felt in her veins, like a thousand flowers blooming in a field. A few moments ago, she hated the feeling of power in her fibers, the dry swell of it simply causing her to hate on her existence; but now? Now she felt a new kind of swell, a relief. A relief, that could only be felt when there was hope. A brief sanguineness that could be achieved only when one believed in themselves. Suddenly, she looked forward to the future.

“Undoubtedly, my dear. I apologize with all my heart for the distress I have caused you these few days. I assure you that nothing will disrupt this little utopia that we have managed to find, ever again," he promised, his heart singing. He could work this out for her, and for himself. She deserved as much, and he was capable of giving her everything she need, and he would do so gladly. And she was kissing him again, his lips against hers, soft as feathers, as light as an angel’s caress. And she knew then. She knew she would forgive herself. After all, you only live one life.

195 notes · View notes

mid-weast · 3 years

Text

Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.

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