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#only took abouy a year and a half too
samwisefamgee · 1 year
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how does this week keep getting worse wtf
#this is. so fucking unbearable#the tinnitus makes me want to blow my fucking brains out i dont know why it got so much violently worse so fast#but i guess its like this forever now! and it only gets worse!#i thought id be able to deal with it but if it gets this much worse at this rate im so fuxking dead lol this is insanity#i cant take it on top of everything everything EVERYTHING else if god wants me dead this fucking bad she'll get it#life hasnt been worth it for 12 fucking years it CERTAINLY isnt worth it now that im blinder balder in more.pain and.crazier than ever#and the tinnitus makes the screaming in my head eternal#girl theres no point it just hurts to be alive#i cant pay to fix a single one of my problems and ill need tens of thousands of dollars to even kind of fix all of them#i never got to start my life#i never will. not as the person i was. or ever wanted to be. or even close. ive physically and mentally lost too much to do what id planned#and now i cant even live in peace normally even if i were able to 'fix' everything so much of this is permanent and degenerative#spent 24 years giving everything to my family and they returned the favor by leaving me in a rotting box to die and i let it work lol#only took abouy a year and a half too#my dad's family killed off their mentally ill youngest of six WAY faster than it took em to get to me so i guess they got rusty#anyway i love when the all consuming despair comes back im gonna go cry for a bit and hopefully fall back to sleep
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hello-yue-here · 3 years
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📓
THANK YOU
okay first up on the list: sukka
bear with me this is all just the background info because this is a fic i started MONTHS ago but gave up on. its a five n one fic but heres all the relevant background info:
suki and sokka met their freshman year of highschool. suki was an annoying know it all of a freshman (hello im projecting onto suki here) and hahn was the sexist jerk who say behind her. sokka was hahns best friend and followed him around like a little puppy. suki knew that sokka was just repeating everything hahn told him ab women but sokka took it and ran with it to look cool for his friends.
naturally, suki and sokka do not get along. suki constantly calls out hahn for his bullshit, sokka defends him, and sokka and suki get into fights while hahn sits back and watches. its even worse because suki and sokka see each other everywhere. student council. musical rehearsal. his hockey practice is right across the street from her job. they are on the same coed soccer and track teams. they have the same classes. they literally are always around each other.
sophomore year comes around and sokkas no longer friends with hahn. partly because his arguments w suki got him to realize he was being sexist. partly because hahns a dick. partly because hahn tried hitting on his girlfriend yue.
sokka apologizes to suki for freshman year and suki is like its fine i got too heated sometimes too and sokka was like well yeah if i were you id wanna rip my head off too dont apologize. suki and sokka are kinda sorta friends now.
junior year yue moves away and sokka is really upset about it. they broke up because they felt they were too young for long distance but it still hurt. suki along with the rest of sokkas friends (sup gaang) are there for him. suki and sokka are friends but they still arent super close yet.
OKAY NOW ONTO THE FIC ITSELF (im so sorry for long posting but i love sukka)
5&1
5 times sokka drove suki home and one time suki drove him
1st ride: sokka offers to drive suki home from a club meeting after overhearing her talking to toph about how her cars in the shop and her mom cant get her until an hour after the meeting ends. she accepts and they drive together. theyve hung out before in group hangs n stuff but theyve never rlly been just the two of them. its nice. sokkas a fast talker and gets very animated and invested in their conversations. they dont wanna stop talking so they just keep driving around town, never too far away from sukis house, for an hour before finally dropping her off.
2nd ride: similar story as before. suki needs a ride home and sokka offers. theyre convo is still very fun and interesting but a lot of the trip this time is actually them just singing songs in the car together and just jamming out. sokka tells suki that her voice is rlly good. suki never heard sokka sing before because he only did tech for shows, but hes not half bad himself. will suki start imagining singing duet with him after this ride? no absolutely not. will sokka? yes absolutely. (jk they both think ab it sukis just in denial)
3rd ride: at this point suki has stopped driving her own car to school and instead has her mom drop her off. her mom doesnt mind, she likes getting to talk to her daughter in the morning (and she knows damn well shes got a crush on that boy who drives her home) and sokka just asks her if she needs a ride, he doesnt wait for her to ask him first anymore. this talk is fun but more serious. sokka keeps asking about suki and her identity as bisexual. suki thinks hes gonna be weird about it but then during a lul in conversation he admits that he thinks hes bi too. lots of comfort. yes ik im projecting onto suki in this fic but this car ride wouldve been MAJOR projecting onto sokka time ayoooo.
4th ride: suki is at a party and hahn is there and sokka isnt and suki is getting pissed off by hahn and wants to leave but she cant drive herself home. she calls sokka and he comes to get her even though its way too late. shes a little drunk still and tells sokka ab hahn being a dick. sokka wants to turn around and “talk to him” but suki is like shut up sokka youd lose that fight and sokka laughs and says not with u by my side to back me up. suki doesnt know if shes drunk or something still but sokka looks really good under the light of the streetlamps they drive past.
5th ride: suki has taken it upon herself to refer to sokka as her chauffeur since he drives her everywhere now. he rolls his eyes and grumbles about it but he always assures her that he doesnt care and that he likes their car rides together. its towards the end of the year and prom is coming up and neither of them have a date. sokka hatches the perfect plan and instead of walking with suki to his car from the school, he tells her to meet him there instead because he has to talk yo a teacher abouy something (lies he got out of class early cuz mr piandao is the goat and sokka needs to set up). when suki gets to his car hes got a whole promposal set up and is holding a sign that says “i know im an excellent driver, but lets get a real chauffeur for once. prom?” and of course she says yes.
+1
suki didnt want a chauffeur for prom. instead she offered to drive the two of them there instead. sokka keeps making jokes about how hes terrified to be in a car with her because of how much katara has complained about sukis driving (i drive fast so suki drives fast deal with it) theyre on their way back from a prom after party and suki is taking sokka home. its quiet and peaceful but sokka wont stop staring at her. “what” she asks “nothing. youre just... really.. pretty. i guess.” hes so awkward. poor kid is so flustered but suki likes it. “yeah ur not to bad urself” “i really like you suki” “i like me too” “im serious” “i know sokka” “so what do you think?” she can see hes nervous now “i thought you were supposed to be smart. im surprised you didnt notice how much u like you too.” “wait really?” his eyes light up “of course dumby. i literally stopped driving to school as an excuse to hang out with you more” smoocie smoocie ensues.
badda bing badda boom: sukka fic.
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