Husband!Jeongguk x Pregnant Wife!Reader
Genre: Angst, Healing, Smut, Marriage!AU
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Kidnapping, Mentions of Small Amounts of Food
Warnings: Heart Breaking Thoughts, Angst, Healing, Emotional, Praise, Fingering, Begging, Daddy Kink, Thigh Riding, Fellatio, Lactation Kink, Milk Drinking, Throat Fucking, Glazed Donut!OC, Cunnilingus, Degradation, Somewhat Dom!Guk, Sub!OC, Squirting, Rough Pregnant Sex, Finger Sucking, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie
A/N: Soooooo this is a fic I've been working on since February, FEBRUARY! And it's finally done. I'm really so so so proud of this fic. I worked super hard on it. It's a fic about love and healing, coming back to a loved one after something shakes their relationship to the core. It's uplifting and comforting and it makes my heart warm. I hope you guys enjoy it! Really huge thank you to @xjoonchildx, @ladyartemesia, @ppersonna for sticking with me and reading every little change I’ve made to it!
Silence -- the absence of sound is sometimes deafening.
In silence, true silence, other sounds tend to bleed in like a gentle hum.
In Jeon Jeongguk's silence everything is always louder -- the clock ticking away seconds, the sound of his own heart beating catastrophically slow, the sound of gentle breathing across the room.
It drives him insane.
It drives him up the wall.
He's been so used to sitting in silence that everything just sounds so fucking loud.
The way nails are currently scratching against the rich fabric of the arm chair across from him.
The sound of a bus honking in the distance.
It all resounds through his skull.
Taking a sharp breath, he looks up at the nail scratching culprit.
"Yes, Dr. Kim," he breathes, loosening his tie.
"Namjoon, please. Do you-Do you want to talk about your progress this week?" Kim Namjoon inquires, looking down at his clipboard.
Guk tilts his head, watching Namjoon's fingers card through the multitude of sheets.
What has he written down?
"There's been no progress this week." he replies, looking down at his lap.
Dr. Kim nods astutely. "Well it takes time for people to come back to themselves… as well as others after what your wife went through. It's only natural."
The only thing that Jeongguk thinks is how unnatural life is at the moment.
"Are you experiencing anger?"
"Experiencing grief or loss for what your life used to be?"
"Are you trying to be strong for her when you can barely stand on your own?"
"No." Jeongguk states, looking up at the therapist.
Namjoon seems to take a pause to scribble something down and the younger man can't help how he sits up straighter to maybe get a peek at the writing.
"Well, if that's all you feel the need to say, hopefully next week will be more insightful for you. It takes time for someone to get over trauma, this has also been traumatic for you." Dr. Kim announces, intertwining his hands and placing them softly down on the clipboard.
Jeongguk looks at the clock, hearing the telltale ticking that seconds are passing. "Sure. Yeah."
"Next week then, Jeongguk." Namjoon says, giving him a small smile that dimples his chin.
Jeongguk is slow to get up and walk out of the room. Everything feels heavy around him, his own heart has felt like one hundred pounds since you finally came back to him.
But once he's out of the therapy building and in his own car. He can't seem to stop the gut wrenching sob that flies free from his chest.
His eyes screw shut and his forehead slams into the steering wheel.
"Oh, God!" he gasps, tugging and pulling at his tie that feels like a noose around his neck. He fumbles with the fabric before chucking it onto the dashboard with a wail.
"God! Fuck! Dammit! Goddammit!" he screams, slamming his hands against the steering wheel. His hand slips a few times, pressing up against the horn and the sound resounds throughout the almost empty parking lot.
In his swimming misery, all the months without you seem to bleed through his memory.
"Y/N," he gasps, pressing his bruised fist to his forehead and squeezing his bloodshot eyes closed.
One memory always gnaws at him in the silence. It stains his soul like coffee on white fabric.
He's gotten so used to seeing the cream colored walls of the police station that in some sickening way it feels like home.
"Can we go over it again, Mr. Jeon?" Detective Kim inquires, stirring his coffee slowly.
Jeongguk swallows thickly, looking over the man's cluttered desk. His hands shake nervously and his fingers clench and squeeze at the still air.
How many times does he have to repeat himself?
But he's so broken and desperate that he complies.
"My wife went to the supermarket to get groceries to celebrate that she was pregnant with our first baby." he whispers.
Just even stating the words sends his heart bleeding.
How many times does he have to repeat the worst day of his fucking life?
"The Atlantis Market?" Detective Kim inquires, narrowing his eyes at the case file.
He knows this already. Why is he asking?
"Y-Yes, it's where she always goes. She likes the meat better there than any other market." Guk whispers, closing his eyes.
"Right. And when did you notice she was missing?" Kim asks, sipping his coffee.
The slurping is incessant and Jeongguk's eyes spring open at the loud noise.
"T-Two hours she left. She always calls me when she gets to the supermarket. She always stays on the phone with me. She didn't call and hours passed."
He relives it daily and to tell this detective it again for the seventh time is heart wrenching.
"And you don't think that maybe she just ran away? Maybe it wasn't your baby… Maybe she went off with someone else?"
The accusation sends fury coursing through your husband and he bares his teeth at the question.
"She would never leave me. We love each other, we've been together since highschool. I went to that fucking supermarket and found the door to her car open and her car keys on the ground." he seethes, slamming his hand onto the wooden desk.
Detective Kim doesn't move, he doesn't flinch, he just hums in agreement which is insulting enough.
"Right, it says that in this missing person's report. Well, let me just make it clear that she has been missing for three months already. We have no leads and we don't know if we'll ever find her."
"You're the POLICE. It's your fucking job!" Jeongguk shouts, standing up and leaning down onto the desk with his fists.
"I'm just giving you the statistics, Mr. Jeon. No need to act violent." Kim warns, narrowing his eyes up at the broken younger man.
"I'll show you violent. Find my wife. She's fucking pregnant for God's sakes! She's in danger!" he spits, feeling the nervousness grow and peak inside of him.
"Are you threatening a police officer, Jeon Jeongguk?" the detective quips, standing up on his own volition.
"Find my wife!" Jeongguk seethes, kicking the chair over and leaving.
Getting home, Jeongguk rattles his keys loudly before placing them in the dish by door.
"Baby? I-I'm home," he calls throughout the house.
He's learned over many trials and errors that it's best if he announces himself before entering any room. It seems to calm you in some way.
He finds you in the kitchen, temple pressed to the window as you watch the rain fall onto the back patio.
"It's coming down a lot out there," he breathes, looking you over.
Your hair isn't combed through and you still look pale but you're home.
"Y/N?" he calls softly, setting down the take out onto the kitchen island.
He hasn't been up for cooking lately, he's been too much of a nervous wreck.
You haven't so much as even looked at him since you've been brought back home. But, he's okay with that, just you even being here is perfect.
"I g-got us jjajangmyeon for dinner, I know you really like it from Golden Tiger." he whispers.
He nods a bit when you cup your growing stomach and just stare out the window.
You don't eat with him. You don't like it. It makes you scared.
He finds his chest clenching and he tears his eyes away from you. His fingers card through his long blond hair and he takes a deep breath to try and calm himself.
"I'll just leave it here then. Don't let it get too cold, it won't be yummy." he croaks, grabbing his take out container and a beer from the fridge.
He finds it easier to eat in his home office.
Picking up the black bean noodles with his chopsticks, he stares at the wedding photo of the both of you after you graduated college.
The smile that you give him is so blindingly beautiful and your eyes are alight with love and compassion for your husband.
He stares at it until his eyes are blurry with tears and suddenly he's lost his appetite.
"Fuck," he curses, throwing down his chopsticks and covering his face with his hands.
The silence echoes throughout the office and he can barely string a thought together.
But then his memory cuts through everything and it grounds him with peace even for a minute.
"You look like your brain is gonna explode!" you tease your husband, peeking your head into the home office.
He looks up from his computer, giving you a chuckle and then a pout.
"I'm so swamped with emails," he whines, opening his arms childishly for you.
You can only giggle, skipping over the large rug and sitting on his lap.
He groans teasingly, burying his face into your neck and sighing.
"Why am I so swamped, baby?" he whispers, kissing over your skin.
"Because you're a genius and everyone wants your help with building. What did Forbes say about you last month? Oh yeah! 'Jeon Jeongguk is the world's youngest ever architect that built a skyscraper that exceeds all expectations of reality.' And they're absolutely correct." you beam, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.
He laughs gently, rocking you back and forth on his lap. "Man, how did I get a wife that's beautiful, amazing AND smart?"
"Oh, you definitely got lucky." you quip, laughing loudly when he begins to tickle you.
Guk stares at the doorway, bringing the beer bottle to his lips.
"Oh, babe, what am I gonna do?" he breathes, putting his head back to the top of his office chair.
Jeongguk's bed is cold, it's always cold these days.
You don't sleep with him anymore but he understands, you don't like contact of any kind. He can't imagine what you've been through or what you feel.
You certainly haven't voiced anything about the terrible experience you've been through.
Sometimes he can hear you crying late at night. He can hear your small sobs and it tears him into pieces.
In the moonlit room, he stares at his gold wedding band. His eyes drift to your empty side of the bed and like a child, he grabs your pillow. Burying his face into the soft fabric, he sighs loudly.
The room swallows the sound, and from the guest bedroom down the hall -- he hears your sob.
Guk's eyes squeeze shut and he prays that sleep will finally find him soon.
All he does is stare at his phone.
Jeongguk just stares and stares at his phone, willing it to ring and to tell him that you're on your way home.
He's cancelled all his major building projects for the foreseen future and everyone completely understands. Or so they say.
He has enough money to sit in this same exact seat for the next twenty years and wait for the phone call.
He's not fucking giving up.
He's not taking his eyes off the phone for a minute.
He owes it to you, the woman who he's pledged his life to, to get you back.
There's always this feeling -- this rush when a phone lights up.
And that rush only happens to people who are desperately waiting. Whether that be for a job interview, a text from their crush, an email from their boss telling them they got the day off.
But when his phone lights up, he thinks solely of you.
And after months of devastation and painful waiting -- Busan Police Department calls.
"Y-Yes!" Jeongguk screams into the phone, his index finger shakily tapping the speaker button.
"Mr. Jeon? Jeon Jeongguk? We've found your wife. She was left abandoned off the Olympus Expressway."
His nervousness doesn't cease and he feels like he's going to throw up any second.
He doesn't know why the question passes his lips but it does. "Is s-she alive? Is my wife alive?"
"Yes, Mr. Jeon, she's alive, she's being transferred to the Busan Hospital as we speak."
He falls out of his chair, wailing loudly. His hands clamp over his mouth and he gasps for air like he's been deprived of it.
"Mr. Jeon? Are you coming to the hospital? She won't speak to anyone."
His eyes squeeze shut and his heart pounds so loudly, he thinks it might explode.
"Jeon Jeongguk? Hello?"
"Yes! Yes, I'm coming!" he screams, putting his hands to his forehead.
"Any progress this week, Jeongguk?" Namjoon inquires.
Your husband stares straight ahead at the ornate clock on the wall. He shakes his head, swallowing thickly.
"We always sit here in silence, is that really okay for you?" Dr. Kim asks, crossing his legs and pushing his glasses up with his middle finger.
His lips puff out in thought and he sputters them softly. "There isn't… anything to talk about." he breathes, shaking his head.
Namjoon hums thoughtfully, tossing the clipboard onto the table beside him. "I beg to differ. There's a lot of pain in the situation that you're trying not to resurface."
Just the mention has Guk blushing and the first reaction is to get violent. His eyebrows furrow and his nostrils flare at the therapist before him.
"This is painful, Jeongguk. And you trying to bury it deep inside of you isn't going to help."
Your husband scratches at his neck, looking down at his wedding band. He closes his eyes and takes a deep, soothing breath.
"Why don't we try an exercise this week? Hmm? Homework isn't the proper word to call it. Are you up for it?"
Guk sighs, spinning his wedding band on his finger as he thinks. Anything would be better than this. He loves you so much that he's willing to try anything. So he nods.
"When you get home, even if Y/N doesn't talk to you or look at you. Why don't you tell her one of your happiest memories you can think of that involves her? Even though she isn't speaking, she can still hear you. I think that might be healing for you -- maybe her as well." Dr. Kim suggests, smiling kindly at his patient.
There're so many moments, how could Guk pick just one?
"Alright. I can try." he bleats, looking back up at the clock and hearing the seconds tick away.
"Good! Next week we'll talk about how that felt for you."
Jeongguk shakes his keys, setting them down in the bowl by the door.
"Baby, I'm home!" he calls loudly, sliding his feet into his slippers.
The house feels colder today and he knows that winter will soon be nipping at the world's ankles.
He's a fabulous architect but his heat proofing in this house wasn't the best.
You're sitting on the couch today, staring aimlessly at the wooden floors.
"Are you hungry, babe? I brought you home some chicken soup. It's good for our baby girl." he inquires, walking past you and towards the kitchen.
He sees you thickly swallow and it makes his heart thump harder within his chest.
He leans down on the marble island countertop and he stares straight ahead for a while. He remembers when you first put up the small paintings that make up this large masterpiece above the dining room table. He fell in love with it so quickly.
He feels deathly nervous, like the day when he asked you to marry him.
"Y'know," he begins, he takes a deep breath and he just bares his soul before you, because it's just natural, "I remember the first day I ever saw you. It was in seventh grade and you had on the school uniform but you had these fake red highlights in your hair. They were, like, woven into your ponytail holder."
His fist tucks beneath his chin and he smirks at the memory. "I just knew you were going to get in trouble for it because it was against school code. I remember telling you about it too and you just stared at me and said, 'So?' And I was like, 'Damn, this girl is so badass. I wanna be this badass.' Mrs. Park came up to you and you didn't give a flying shit when she reprimanded you. And I remember that I stared at you like you were the sun. I wanted to know you immediately, I wanted to be by your side. I wanted to be your friend. I was falling in love with you then."
He hums sweetly, wrinkling his nose at the memory.
"I just wanted to say that. I know it's really difficult for you right now. I understand. I can't begin to understand what you went through." Jeongguk breathes, opening up the fridge and grabbing a beer.
When he looks over towards the living room, he can see you staring at him through the turned off television and his eyes suddenly burn with raw emotion.
"I-I miss you." he gasps, putting his hand to his heart.
He stands still for a while, just letting the both of you look at each other after so long. He blinks his eyes rapidly when his tears get in the way of being able to see you.
When you finally look away, he takes a deep breath through his nose.
"I-I'll be in my office. I know you find it hard to be in the same room as me." he breathes, rounding the kitchen island and heading down the hallway.
When he opens the door to his office, he has to cup his hand over his mouth at the sound of your voice.
"I miss you, too."
He slides down the back of the door, pressing his forehead to his knees and he bites down hard on his index finger to quiet his blubbers.
You spoke to him.
"What are you doing?!" you giggle as your husband slides his hands over your eyes.
"It's called a surprise, you've never heard of one?" he quips, kissing the crown of your head.
You hum playfully, folding your arms and relishing in the way his chest contorts against your back.
"Why am I being blinded? What's the surprise?" you inquire, tilting your head until you finally whisper, "Is it something kinky?"
Guk laughs loudly, letting his head loll back. "You fuckin' wish." he teases.
"You're right, I do." you jeer, allowing him to guide you along farther.
"Silly," he chuckles, promptly stopping you.
You feel his hands begin to get a little sweaty and you know this only happens when he's deathly nervous.
"Gukkie? What is it?" you ask sweetly, running your fingers over his bare arms.
"I just hope you like it." he breathes, pressing his lips to the top of your head.
"I like everything you do, Guk," you reply, drifting your nails over his skin.
"Remember in eighth grade I promised you that I would build you a house?"
"Yeah out of popsicle sticks and spit," you guffaw.
He takes a deep breath, pulling his hands away from your face.
When you open your eyes, the bright sun makes you squint but the gasp that leaves you has him stunned into silence.
"Oh my God, Jeon Jeongguk!" you yell, bunching your hands up into your hair.
The house is sleek and modern with asymmetrical shapes and big open windows.
When you turn to him, his eyes are wide with nervousness. "D-Do you like it?" he bleats.
You have no words, instead you decide to tackle him onto the front lawn.
He groans loudly, wrapping his arms around you like always. "Is that a yes?" he chuckles.
"Yes! Yes! I fucking love it! I fucking LOVE it!" you screech, cupping both sides of his face and pressing a wet kiss to his lips.
God, it's fucking cold in this house. Guk shivers beneath the blankets and he can only imagine how cold it must be in the guest room.
He explicitly made it colder so guests wouldn't stay as long.
There is a rule, y'know. Guests are like fish -- they stay for three days and then anything after that, they start to stink.
You must be fucking frigid. But he remembers when he checked on you one night soon after you came home and you screamed so loud that it scared him to his core.
He doesn't want to frighten you.
He tucks his body into fetal position, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes that he'll just pass out sooner or later.
The silence in his room begins to echo like white noise and he can only whine softly.
When he couldn't sleep before you were taken, you used to play the sounds of the sea for him. He can remember the waves crashing against the coastline and a seagull or two crying out high above the water.
He hasn't heard the sounds of the beach in so long.
He lays like this for a long time, just keeping his eyes shut and listening to the heater click and roll every so often.
But then he hears the sound of feet.
They pad slowly throughout the hallway and he takes a sharp breath when they stop in front of the master bedroom.
The door creaks open and his bottom lip purchases between his teeth. He makes no movement. He doesn't know why you're in here but he doesn't want to scare you away.
After a while, the sheets ruffle and your side of the bed dips.
He presses his lips into a thin line, feeling his hands begin to shake with nervousness. He can't possibly move, he wants you to stay right where you are.
You take a sharp breath between your teeth that makes his heart beat faster and when he slowly opens one eye, he can see you rubbing your growing stomach.
He swallows the sob that threatens to escape and he squeezes his eye closed one more.
He finds it comforting to hear the sounds of your shallow breathing. He relishes in it in all honesty. He adores it.
It's the one sound he probably couldn't live without, besides your laughter.
And as he drifts off to sleep, he can hear waves lapping against the shore.
"So, how was your experiment?" Namjoon inquires.
Jeongguk finds himself smirking, running his fingers through his hair. "I think it went really well."
The therapist sits forward curiously, widening his eyes at seeing Jeongguk give a semblance of a smile for the first time in a month.
"Would you like to share that experience here?" Dr. Kim inquires.
Your husband sighs dreamily, staring down at his wedding band.
"Well I did as you suggested and I told Y/N about the first time I ever saw her. When I looked over at her, she was looking at me for the first time since she came back. It was through the television but… she was really looking at me. I told her I missed her and-and she said it back! Last night, it was freezing in the house and Y/N came and laid down with me in bed." he gushes, putting his hand over his heart.
Namjoon smiles, his deep dimples etching into his cheeks. He quickly writes something down before setting the clipboard aside. He gives your husband his undivided attention, intertwining his hands in his lap.
"Well, that must feel amazing. Especially after feeling alone for so long." Namjoon beams.
Jeongguk nods almost childishly. "It was amazing. I didn't get to touch her and we didn't talk but finally she was in our bed again, y'know? And she told me she missed me too, which felt incredible."
Dr. Kim has seen your husband for a while now and this is the most he's ever said in a one hour session.
It's honestly a relief to see Jeongguk actually coming out of his shell, if only on a miniscule level.
"Well, I think the exercise definitely helped, right? I mean, Jeongguk, this is progress. I'm sure it feels amazing."
Guk nods, leaning back comfortably into the couch. "Yeah," he laughs, "I'm so elated. I don't know what else to say."
Namjoon leans forward, putting his elbows to his knees. "Well then, I think we should make another exercise for you guys."
Your husband listens attentively, crossing his legs and sitting forward.
"Maybe this week we can delve into staying in a room with Y/N. How does that sound? You can stay in a room with her and just talk for awhile and even if she doesn't respond -- that's okay. She was listening to you the other day."
Jeongguk nods, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I'd love that."
"Baby? I'm home!" Jeongguk calls loudly, tossing his keys to the side table.
He peeks into the living room and you're not sitting in the same seat he left you in when he left.
His eyebrow quirks up and he looks into the open kitchen only to find an empty space.
His first thought, however terrible it is, is that you've left.
You got so scared that you bolted after sleeping with him in bed last night.
"Y/N?!" he croaks loudly, tossing the bags of dinner onto the kitchen island.
His mind begins to muddle and his hands start to sweat at the simple thought.
He rushes down the long hallway of your home, checking his office, his bedroom, the guest bedroom.
You're nowhere to be found.
"Y/N!" he yells, shoving open the nursery room door.
You flinch gently when the door makes a loud noise and Jeongguk is immediately calmed by your presence.
"I-I'm so sorry. I just thought you left. I didn't mean to scare you, please forgive me." he begs, shutting the door as quietly as he can.
You're staring at the crib your husband bought just a month or two ago.
Before you were taken, this room was completely empty. You hadn't talked about themes or what you would need but while you were away when Jeongguk wasn't staring at his phone, he was setting up the nursery.
He didn't know the gender then, of course, and he only found out at the hospital when you were picked up from the Olympus Expressway but teal was always pretty to him and it's one of your favorite colors.
"I know you like teal so…" he finds himself at a loss for words.
You pick up a small stuffed animal that sits in the crib and hug it to your body.
Jeongguk shifts from one foot to the other uneasily. He just hopes and prays that he hasn't frightened you too badly.
"Do you…Do you wanna talk?" he inquires softly, sitting down on the floor.
You stare at the white and teal abstract paintings that make up the wall.
Your husband looks down at his hands, staring at his wedding band like always.
"I-I know you're having such a difficult time adjusting and God, I can't imagine what you went through but I miss you, baby. I miss you so much. I would stare at my phone all day just waiting to get a call from the police…" he breathes.
He doesn't look up at you, if he does then he might be too nervous to speak his truth.
"If you hate the nursery we can always change it. I just needed to do something. I needed to prepare for you to come home because I knew that you would. I knew you would come back to me."
He can see your feet turn towards him and you slowly but surely make your way beside him before sitting down.
You're about a foot apart but he takes that. He takes anything you want to give him.
"I love it." you breathe, looking down at the teddy bear and running your fingers over the soft fur.
Your voice sends him spiralling and he clenches his hands together to steady himself.
"I don't have a great sense of style like you, so I just bought a bunch of stuff and placed it everywhere." he chirps, looking around the room.
"Hate the changing table." you whisper.
The notion makes him laugh and he finds himself chuckling heartily at your words.
He hasn't laughed in so long that it feels euphoric.
Jeongguk turns his head to you, his blonde hair falling into his eyes. "I love you. I know you're probably not ready to come back to me yet but I'm always here waiting."
He can see your eyes becoming glassy and it's like a dagger to his heart. He presses his hand to the left side of his chest, taking a calming breath through his nose.
You don't move and you don't speak, you just stare down at the teddy bear that absorbs any falling tears that escape from your eyes.
"Are you hungry?" he inquires, folding his arms.
You sniffle gently, pressing the teddy bear to your growing stomach.
He doesn't want to force you to do or say anything. So he just sits beside you. Because he always will.
Silence takes over the room, coating Guk in white noise.
"I thought I was gonna die." you announce softly, playing with the hem of your dress.
He squeezes his eyes shut, his bottom lip starting to quiver at your admission.
"I didn't think I would ever see you again," you gasp, gripping the teddy bear tighter.
Jeongguk can feel his eyes burning with raw emotion. He can feel his body shutting down to it's baser instincts.
"I never gave up hope. I always knew you would come back to me. I just knew it." he breathes, looking over at you.
You give a small nod, wiping your cheeks almost childishly.
"Thank you for speaking to me. I miss your voice." he whispers, looking up at the ceiling.
There's silence again.
"I wasn't allowed to talk." you murmur.
His fists squeeze tightly at the admission and he can feel this anger swirling deep within his gut.
You haven't said anything, especially anything about when you were taken so the small sliver of information you've given him makes him see red in that quick minute.
"Did they…Did they hurt you, baby? Is that why you won't let me touch you?" he inquires softly.
You swallow thickly, standing up and putting the teddy bear back in the crib. "I'm hungry." you bleat.
Jeongguk realizes he's stepped too far for where you're comfortable, so he nods in agreement.
"Yeah… Of course. I brought home some sesame chicken. Come." he says quickly, trying to take your mind off of everything.
"What do you think?" you ask your husband, picking a small onesie off the store rack.
Jeongguk lowers his sunglasses, staring at the small article of clothing.
"It's yellow," he replies, garbled around a piece of hotteok.
"So? You don't like yellow?" you quip, looking down at the small bumble bees buzzing around the fabric.
"You're not pregnant yet," he states, sitting down on one of the benches near the shoes area.
"So? I can't buy a onesie if I'm not pregnant?" you gasp playfully, pressing the baby clothes to your chest.
He looks at you incredulously, fighting the smirk that threatens to spread over his lips. "What're you saying? You wanna have my baby?"
You roll your eyes, placing the baby clothing into the cart. "Isn't that every woman's dream?"
He blinks. "To have Jeon Jeongguk's baby? Yeah probably."
Your snort seems to carry through the thin air of the department store and Guk watches as you rifle through more clothes.
Wiping his mouth with his napkin, he takes you in. The way you sway to the music that creeps through the loudspeakers and the way your fingers deftly card through the small onesies.
God, his life is so perfect.
You're so perfect.
He's the epitome of luck and he surely believes he saved the king in his past life to be so blessed this time around.
"I love you," he breathes, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head.
Your smile is blinding and you cross through the aisle, sitting down on his lap and hooking your arms over his neck.
"I love you, too." you coo, booping his nose with your index finger.
You ate in silence but at least you stayed in the same room as him.
Guk noticed how slowly you ate, like you were savoring it as if it was your last meal or something.
He appreciates that you spoke to him if only a few words. He'll cherish it forever if he's being honest.
But with the absence of sound, he found himself thinking of so many questions that won't leave his brain.
He knows you're not ready to answer them. You may never be ready.
But he has them prepared just in case.
Now, laying in bed, he hopes you'll come and sleep with him again like last night. He hopes it wasn't just a one off.
Jeongguk's head lays down on his pillow and he stares at your side of the bed.
He likes that your side is still a bit wrinkled from last night, it reminds him again that you were next to him.
When he hears your small footsteps, he closes his eyes. He pulls a soft throw pillow to his chest and hugs it as tightly as possible.
It feels like an eternity, waiting to see what you'll do but then finally you slip into the bed beside him.
He peeks one eye open and he's met face to face with you.
You haven't been this close in ages.
"Hi baby," he whispers, closing his eye.
He can only chant to himself, 'Please don't leave. Please don't get scared.'
He can feel the bed dipping closer and closer to him and his eyebrows furrow curiously.
You're moving towards him?
He can feel the soft skin of your arm grazing against his and a shiver runs up his spine.
He whimpers gently, embarrassingly so, at your body so close to his own.
Guk can feel his eyes welling up with tears.
He takes deep, calming breaths to try and steady himself.
“D-Don’t move,” you beg of him and his body goes rigid at your request.
His eyes snap open and he watches you lean in slowly. He holds his breath, swallowing thickly when you press your forehead to his.
Fat, salty tears roll down his cheeks when your stomach presses against his arms.
You take a sharp breath between your teeth and it echoes through him like he’s a vast canyon.
Jeongguk can feel his hands sweating and he wants to hold you so badly it’s almost ripping him apart. But he keeps true to your request, locking his joints in place.
“Okay,” you breathe nervously, closing your eyes.
Your lips move ever so slowly towards his and he squeezes his eyes shut.
When he feels the soft petals of your lips against his, his whole body relaxes and he sobs weakly against you.
He doesn’t kiss back, he just allows you to do what you please -- to take what you need.
Your small hand wraps around his wrist and it dangles limp within your grasp.
“Baby,” Guk sobs softly as you pull away.
You don’t reply, you just lay his hand softly on your stomach and turn onto your back.
His sobs crack with the sheer amount of pain and relief in his throat. He can barely hold himself together and when a tiny patter makes itself known under his hand, he begins to wail.
You squeeze your eyes shut, covering your face with your hands and even though this is so painful -- it’s so healing.
“T-Thank you,” your husband cries, burying his face into the throw pillow he holds so tightly to himself.
“Love you,” you whimper, turning your head and staring at the closed windows.
He nods childishly, running his hand over your growing stomach.
“I love you too, baby. So much.” he gasps, feeling his heart begin to bleed again.
Jeongguk doesn’t even give Namjoon a chance to sit down. He starts speaking the minute he steps foot into the therapy office. “She kissed me.”
Dr. Kim grabs the arms of his chair, slowly sitting down and raising an eyebrow. “Jeongguk, that’s amazing.”
Your husband doesn’t even sit down. He feels like he’s floating on air and he wants to keep it that way. He paces back and forth behind the long couch, pocketing his hands deep into his pants.
“She’s making so much progress so quickly! I’m so proud of her!” Guk whines, lolling his head back.
The therapist writes something down on his clipboard, looking up at your happy life partner. “Would you like to talk about how this happened?” he asks with a small smile.
Jeongguk is like an excited puppy, rounding the couch and throwing himself down on it immediately. “Well, I did exactly as you said. I stayed in the nursery with her for a while and I was talking and she talked back!”
Namjoon hums thoughtfully, scratching his nails to the fabric of his chair. “Did she say anything important? Anything that would help us delve deeper into what happened to her?”
The happiness starts to bleed out of your husband as he replays your words from last night through his head. “Y-Yeah. She said she thought she was going to die and she was so afraid that she would never see me again.” he bleats, looking down at his shoes.
Dr. Kim nods, setting aside the clipboard and folding his hands. “That must have hurt.”
Guk can’t help the frown that spreads over his features. “Yeah, it did hurt. I asked her if they hurt her and if that’s why she won’t let me touch her but she didn’t give me an answer.”
There’s silence again and Jeongguk finds it just as uncomfortable as all the other times before this.
“She’s definitely still learning to cope and she’s almost certainly healing little by little. Did you do anything else with her?” Dr. Kim inquires.
“We ate dinner together and… God, Doctor Kim, you had to see her. She was eating so slowly like it was her last meal or something.” your husband bleats.
Namjoon nods understandingly. “She might not have been given a lot of food when she was taken. It’s good that she eats slowly.”
Jeongguk didn’t even think of that… he feels like an asshole now.
“And what about last night? Did she sleep in bed with you?”
Oh, but that question brings back the excitement.
“Yes! She laid next to me in bed and-and she asked me not to move. So I didn’t but she leaned in really close and kissed me for the first time in… forever. She also took my hand and put it on her belly and I felt the baby move.”
Namjoon purses his lips impressed. “Well, that’s amazing. Maybe we should think about bringing Y/N to a session maybe next week. What do you think about that?”
Your husband nods almost instantaneously. “Anything that I can do for an exercise to help her?”
The therapist narrows his eyes thoughtfully. “Try to just talk to her some more? Next week, if she wants to come for a session then maybe we can work on her being okay with some simple touches.”
Jeongguk nods, a surge of hopefulness fleeting through him. "Okay!"
The flowers and plants in the backyard have been doused and seemingly flooded by the constant rain.
It's killing your tomatoes and you can only scoff as the rain continues to batter down outside.
"Do you see this?" you gawk to your husband, tapping your nail against the glass door to the back patio.
Your husband turns away from the television to look at the downpour outside.
"I know, it won't stop. How am I supposed to go survey the land for the new Seoul project if there's flooding everywhere?" he gripes, setting down his beer.
"Uh. Yeah. But my tomatoes!" you whine, turning to him with a pout.
He can only smile at your pouty face, standing up off the couch and opening his arms for you.
"I'll get you new plants if these are damaged. You know that, baby." he coos.
You hum in agreement, wrapping your arms around him and tugging him tightly to your body. "But then I'm gonna have to start all over again. Amena and Allegra have been growing for a year already."
Jeongguk can only snort, running his hand over your head in the most soothing of ways. "You named our tomato plants?" he quips.
"Yeah! They're like my children! I water them everyday, I talk to them so they become big and strong, I love them." you retort, running your hands underneath his white tank top.
"God, I need to get you pregnant already. I think you're going crazy." he jeers.
You snort, placing your temple to his chest and feeling his even, strong heartbeat that's become the song of your life.
"I hope I don't get my period this month." you breathe, closing your eyes.
He smiles, placing his chin atop your head as he stares at the torrential rain outside. "Me too, baby. Me too."
Jeongguk has become a master at the staring game.
He stares at you every second he possibly can in hopes that he can memorize every single thing about you.
But tonight, he just lets everything go.
He stares up at the ceiling instead of grabbing a pillow and pressing it to his chest. He watches the shadow of tree limbs dance across the moonlit ceiling and it shrouds him in ethereal comfort.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you enter the bedroom. While you do make yourself small, he can see your hands pressed up underneath your belly almost as if you need the support.
You're slow to climb into bed and he moves the throw pillow out of your way without a single word.
You've done really well today, you held eye contact with him many times and you even answered a few of his questions.
He has faith, now more than ever, that things can go back to the way they were.
"Baby?" he inquires softly.
You grab his hand and place it on your belly without a word.
Turning your head to him, he knows you're listening even if you don't speak.
"Will you come with me for a therapy session next week? Doctor Kim thinks it would be a good idea." your husband asks, tracing the outlines of the warped branches on the ceiling.
"Yes. I want to heal." you whisper and he gives a small smile at your words.
"I think you're doing better and better everyday." he announces, running his thumb over your distended belly.
You shiver at the movement but you don't push him off.
Leaning over to the nightstand, you grab the lotion that hasn't been used in months but Jeongguk can already smell the telltale scent that is purely yours.
You hold it out, looking at your husband with doe-like eyes and he can only smile.
He sits up with a giddiness that has his limbs trembling with excitement.
"If you don't like it, tell me, I'll stop right away." he promises, pushing the comforter off the both of you.
You take a sharp breath at his closeness, looking up at the ceiling to calm your erratic heart.
He lifts his long t-shirt that you wear for sleeping and he can feel his eyes burning at the sight of you.
Tying his hair up in a ponytail, he can see how taut your belly is -- how well his little girl is growing inside of you.
"Oh my babies," he coos gently.
He bends down, keeping his eyes on your face. His lips pepper small, open mouthed kisses to your taut skin and you wriggle beneath him.
You don't want to push him away but you haven't been loved like this in so long -- it makes you nervous.
You squeak gently when he kisses your belly button. His hands are so warm at the bottom of your bump and you shiver.
"Too much? Am I doing something wrong?" he asks softly, watching your hands bunch up the sheets.
"N-No," you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut.
There's a layer of sweat that begins to build on your scalp and you know it's because of the nerves.
"You're so beautiful, baby. Thank you for carrying our daughter." Guk breathes.
He pulls away from your stomach, you've done really well so far letting him kiss you like this without flinching away from him.
He squeezes some lotion into his hand, hoping to warm it just a bit before spreading it out onto your skin.
You wince at the still cool lotion and your limbs tense up when his hands glide effortlessly over your bump.
It's terrifying to be touched but knowing that it's Guk -- the only man you've only ever known or loved makes it just a bit easier.
"Wonderful, you're doing wonderfully babe." he promises, dutifully lotioning your belly.
You look so motherly below him, like an angel of fertility and he can't stop the tears that obscure his vision.
When he sniffles, your eyes snap to his and you can see the sheer amount of adoration he holds behind the windows to his soul.
"I love you," he breathes, running his hands over your sides.
Swallowing thickly, your hands, as shaky and terrified as they are, cup his face. Your thumbs swipe away his tears and he can only sob more at the feeling.
His slick with lotion hands, wrap around your wrists and delicately he presses kisses into your palms.
"You're home with me now. I'm never going to let anything terrible happen again. I'm going to make sure you're safe. I swear. I promise," he gasps out against your soft skin.
You can barely contain the sob within your own throat but you nod childishly at his words.
He covers his face with your hands, crying loudly into the cover you've given him.
"I love you, too." you promise quietly.
His eyes flutter shut and he can only give your hands more kisses until his tear ducts have no more salty tears to shed.
"You're so beautiful and so precious to me. I love you so much." he bleats, letting your hands go.
He continues his work in silence apart from sniffles and rubbing his red cheeks onto his bare shoulders. His fingers are gentle against your tummy and you know he needs this.
He needs this connection with your daughter because it's been so sorely missed. You had her and only her when you were taken away but Jeongguk had nothing.
He had nothing but heartache and waiting.
When he's finally finished, he sets the lotion back on the table before throwing himself down beside you.
"I miss holding you," he chirps, reaching for the throw pillow to hug.
You bury your terror deep down inside, moving closer and closer to him until your stomach is pressed up against his.
You both collectively shudder at the touch but when his arms wrap around you and you smell the familiar scent that is purely his… you find yourself relaxing even in the slightest.
"Thank you," he gasps, running his hands over your back.
His face buries into your hair and you can only give a meek nod.
"Oh fuck, this feels good." he whispers, closing his eyes.
Your husband holds the door open for you and you shuffle slowly into the therapy office.
Jeongguk didn't know how difficult it would be for you to go outside but when he put his hand in yours, it helped in ways he could never imagine.
"Hi Y/N, it's so nice to meet you," Dr. Kim greets sweetly.
You give a small smile, sitting on the far end of the couch and tucking your legs beneath you as if to make yourself miniscule.
Namjoon looks you over before nodding to himself. He puts the clipboard down and watches your husband take a seat at the other end.
"Jeongguk has been telling me about all the amazing progress you've been making." Namjoon informs you.
Guk takes in the therapist then. He's soft and sweet with you but not so soft that he'd be talking to a child or someone young. He's had to do this quite a few times, he surmises.
"You don't have to talk if you don't want to. This is a safe space to just be," the therapist looks pointedly at Jeongguk, giving him a soft smile, "how has your progress been this week?"
Your husband smiles at the question. "She's doing so great. She let me put lotion on her belly and she slept in my arms all night long last night, didn't you baby?" he gushes, looking over at you.
You nod, looking over at him and giving him a small smile.
"Well that's great. It seems a lot of progress has been made. Y/N, did you know that when your husband first came here he didn't talk at all for the first month?" Namjoon inquires, pointing his pen at your significant other.
"No," you murmur curiously, staring at the handsome blonde man you adore.
Dr. Kim appreciates hearing your voice even if it's soft and short.
"Well, I didn't want to talk a lot because I felt foolish." Guk admits it easily.
You pick your head up fully then, giving your attention to him.
"Why is that, Jeongguk?" Namjoon inquires.
Your husband clears his throat awkwardly, looking down at his wedding ring and widening his eyes. "I felt like a failure… Cowardly, too. My wife was missing for months and I did my own search in finding her and came up with nothing. Then, the police -- they were all brazen assholes that even when they found Y/N they just threw her into my care without any extra help or reasoning behind anything… She was afraid and I-I felt guilty."
You swallow thickly, leaning across the couch and wrapping both of your arms around his right bicep.
He does what's always been normal to him, kissing the top of your head.
Namjoon watches as you shiver but don't pull away and he hums in agreement.
"Why did you feel guilty?" he prods, crossing his legs.
"Well… I'm her husband and I let such a terrible thing happen to her. I'm supposed to keep her safe and I-I fa-failed. Then when she came back to me, she was so frightened and I was at such a loss of what to do, it… it ripped me apart inside."
Namjoon can hear your small gasp even if your husband doesn't and he nods understandingly. "Y/N, do you have anything you want to say about that?"
You hug Guk tighter to your body and his eyes squeeze shut. "It's not your fault. It's no one's fault." you bleat sheepishly.
Dr. Kim nods astutely, leaning forward until his elbows are on his knees and his hands are intertwined beneath his chin. "Nobody in this room is at fault for what happened. There are terrible people in this world that sometimes make horrible choices and it affects others."
Then there's silence for a second and you watch Jeongguk spin his wedding band around on his fourth finger.
He only ever does this when he's deep in thought. On instinct you reach over and press your lips to his cheek and his hand comes up to cup the side of your face sweetly.
"Y/N, do you still feel the need to flinch away or scream?" Dr. Kim asks and you can feel your face paling in color.
Your eyebrows furrow and you hug Guk tighter to yourself.
He looks over at you and you can see the pleading in his eyes -- he needs you to talk about this, he needs to understand.
"Yes," you chirp, looking down at the knees of your leggings.
What a simple question.
Jeongguk coddles you to his body and he watches as your pupils shake back and forth. This is when you're deep in thought.
He closes his eyes and he knows that you probably won't answer, you aren't comfortable with this man.
"Because they used to hit me." you breathe, closing your eyes.
Guk takes a sharp breath between his teeth, turning his face away from you as his jaw clenched tightly.
"Did they know you were pregnant?" Dr. Kim asks, picking up his clipboard.
You shake your head and your husband can feel your hair whipping around at your answer.
"Did you tell them that?" Namjoon asks, pushing the bridge of his glasses up with his middle finger.
"Yes, then they stopped." you reply.
"Fucking pieces of sh-"
"Jeongguk. For Y/N's sake, we're not going to get angry here. We're going to just listen and understand." the therapist cuts him off quickly.
Squeezing his fist tightly, he brings it to his forehead before nodding weakly.
He doesn't want to scare away your progress but this ball of hatred within him grows tense and feels more like fire with every passing second.
"What did they want with you? Why were you taken? Do you know?"
Your teeth nibble at the inside of your cheek and you can feel the sensitive flesh becoming raw and cut up with every worrying clench.
"It's okay if you want to wait to spea-"
"I don't." you squeak quickly.
Namjoon nods, leaning back in his chair and extending a hand for you to speak when you wish.
"They were doing drug stuff." you blurt, finding it kind of relieving to speak about it.
"Oh? And did they make you do drugs?" Dr. Kim asks.
Jeongguk scoffs so loudly that it makes you cower but he's quick to apologize profusely and kiss the top of your head repeatedly. "Baby, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby girl."
"Jeongguk." Namjoon chastises softly and your husband holds up his hands apologetically.
"They didn't make me do drug stuff. I bagged up drugs… I think it was cocaine or something but I'm not sure… I don't do drugs." you announce, squeezing your husband's arm sweetly.
The therapist watches how your legs tug out from underneath you and slowly plant onto the carpeted floor. He doesn't speak, he waits for you to.
"My ankle was chained to some type of radiator. The metal got warm at night so… that's how I knew. I wasn't allowed to speak and they conditioned me to it. So I didn't or… couldn't tell them I was pregnant. But one of them, Taehyung, noticed after a few months. I can remember them fighting about it or yelling about it for a while."
Jeongguk watches how you stare off into space and he wants to pull you away from those memories and shield you so badly but you need this. You need to speak about it to get over it.
"So one day when everyone was out to lunch, Taehyung asked me if I was pregnant and I said yes. I don't think he liked keeping me there in that state and he kept rambling on about two mouths would be worse than just one. So he told me he was going to kill me and put an end to my misery. And I thought that would be best."
Guk squeezes his eyes shut, biting down on his lip to the point that it might draw blood but then you begin to speak again.
"I was waiting and waiting to die but it never came and then at night, a bag was put over my head and I was knocked out. Then I woke up on the Expressway six months after I was taken." you state, looking down at your husband's wedding band.
Jeongguk shudders and he takes a deep, calming breath through his nose.
"Thank you for telling us, Y/N. I know this certainly can't be easy to relive. But now that it's out in the open, we can work on rebuilding your relationship with Jeongguk. How does that sound?"
You nod immediately, looking up at the blond haired man you adore.
Namjoon gives a small smile, putting his clipboard aside.
"I think the next exercise you should do as a couple is to continue to heal together. Whether that be physical or talking. It's important to get back to the patterns you had before this."
"Physical?" Jeongguk echoes, tilting his head.
The therapist takes off his glasses, cleaning them with the hem of his sweater vest. "Sexual intercourse is healing, Jeongguk."
Your husband blushes a furious pink that radiates to the tips of his ears.
"That doesn't mean you have to rush home and try it. You should build up to it. Allow things to become comfortable again between the both of you. You can only start to heal when you allow yourselves."
That resonates deep within you and you find yourself yearning for comfort after so long.
You want to be back to your full self, even if it would take a day or a year to get there.
"That was great babe, you did amazing. I'm really proud of you," Jeongguk gushes when you both finally get home.
The small smile you give him has his heart melting with love and he holds back the biggest urge to throw his arm over your shoulders.
You know that this must be torment for your husband and the guilt within you is constantly growing.
When you walk into the kitchen, it piques Guk's curiosity. He watches as you rifle through the cabinets and fridge with nosy eyes.
His elbows lean down on the kitchen island and his hands come up below his chin to investigate.
"Whatcha doin', baby?" he chirps, watching you grab a carton of eggs.
"Cooking." you reply softly, setting ingredients down on the counter.
"Wait, really?!" he gasps, standing up straight and widening his eyes.
"Take out food is bad for you," you whisper, tying your hair up.
"No, but… baby, you must be tired. You don't have to cook. I can cook." he says quickly, rounding the island to be beside you.
He towers over you and the sweet smell of his cologne puts you at ease even if he's just a touch too close.
"You don't know how to cook," you remind him, flipping open the rice cooker.
He scoffs, widening his eyes playfully. "Yes I do! Why would you offend me like that?"
You giggle gently, a simple reflex and the both of you freeze.
Wow, you haven't laughed in… ages. It feels so good to laugh.
Guk swallows thickly, hoping that this isn't the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Your laugh is so pretty, prettier than most things in this universe and his stomach does flips at the simple noise.
Your cheeks even hurt from the smile you produced, those muscles haven't been used in forever.
Jeongguk waits patiently to see if you'll be the one to speak up and he's grateful when you do.
"I'm sure that you remember the fried chicken," you offer, grabbing the bag of rice from the bottom cabinet.
"Okay!" he groans, "how was I supposed to know the oil was too hot? In what universe do things immediately char when put into hot oil?"
"This one," you quip softly, smiling to yourself as you add water to the cooker.
His arms wrap around your belly, caging you into his grip and you're so distracted with the fun memories that you feel no discomfort at all.
This is natural.
This is good.
Feels damn good, too.
"I've made other food that's been tasty." he counters, kissing over the back of your neck with soft, sweet lips.
You shiver at the feeling, letting your eyes flutter closed.
It's so natural to tease your handsome husband and on instinct you do so with a playful tone.
"The galbi, the egg fried rice, the hamburgers, the pizza, the sweet and sou-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah alright." he murmurs, chuckling into your ear.
You hum sweetly, shutting off the water and letting your body get comfortable with the familiar arms around you.
Of course this isn't easy, it isn't easy to try and force the terror that is constantly awake inside of you away. But because it's Guk, your husband who you love more than anything, it makes it just a little bit easier.
"What're you making for dinner anyway?" he inquires, kissing the crown of your head repeatedly.
With each kiss, his pectoral muscles ripple against you and you've forgotten what it's like to appreciate your god of a man. Before you were taken, you worshipped his body like he was a god. And you think that's been sorely missing for him as well.
"Egg fried rice." you reply, turning around to him.
He takes a sharp breath between his teeth at the sight of you so close to him. Taking a step back, he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable but your hands reach up to his hips and still him.
"Just stay," you whisper, watching his eyes become glassy.
Cupping his cheeks with your hands, you smile up at him gently.
His eyes flutter shut and he's in such incredible peace.
"Kiss me, please." you ask of your husband.
His eyes spring open and he hums with uncertainty.
"Are you sure, baby? I don't want to rush our progress. I don't want to scare you." he coos, running his hands over your belly.
"Kiss me." you repeat.
When he bends down, your breath hitches and your nervousness grows with each second. His large body seems to drape over you like a shadow and your heart begins to hammer with fear.
You want to scream out in this second, cower away from him and everything the world has to offer.
But then his lips press to yours. He's soft and gentle, letting the petals of his lips caress yours with such love and adoration. That fear -- that anxiousness is gone as quickly as it came.
The smell of his cologne breeches your senses while you kiss, it echoes and spreads through your limbs like a forest fire.
Jeongguk cups your cheeks with his hands, wiping away tears that you haven't even noticed have breached past your eyelids.
"Oh my baby," he gasps, pulling away and pressing his forehead to yours.
"Thank you," you whimper, hugging him as tightly as you can to your body with the obstacle of his growing daughter in the way.
There's something about you on early school day mornings. Maybe you just look better in the chilly air or maybe your presence just warms Jeongguk to the point of comfort.
"Morning loser!" he jeers, fumbling with his tie.
"Oh, I'm the loser, am I?" you quip, leaning back against the large cherry blossom tree beyond the gates to your high school.
"You're our loser," Jimin teases, walking past the both of you with his textbooks pressed tightly to his chest.
Flipping your other friend the middle finger, you blow a bubble in your gum. You watch as Jeongguk continues to fumble with his tie, earning creases and wrinkles in the fabric.
"Oh lord, it's like watching a 'how to fail at life' video." you roll your eyes, grabbing the lapels of his school uniform jacket and shoving him up against the tree.
He sneers at you, widening his pretty mocha eyes and you can only snort in response.
"My dad didn't teach me how to do this before he went away for his job." he gripes, gripping the bottom ends of the tie in his fists and furrowing his eyebrows.
You take pity on him then, watching his annoyance truly bubble to the surface.
"Here," you breathe, smacking his hands away from the tie playfully.
You start to tie his tie properly, blowing a large bubble that he pops easily with the tip of his finger.
"First day of the new school year, this should be fun." he says, pushing some hair back behind your ear.
You shiver at his touch, lowering your head as your skin begins to heat up with embarrassment.
"Oh God, just kiss her already. Gross!" Jimin calls you both.
Your eyes snap to one another and Guk lets out a playful chuckle. "She doesn't know what's good for her!" he teases, winking down at you.
You grumble your protestations quietly, tying the tie so tightly that he coughs loudly.
"God," he groans, moving the neck until he's comfortable.
"I do know what's good for me!" you bite back, slinging your backpack over your shoulder.
"Oh yeah?" Guk quips, walking after you, "Then kiss me."
His large eyes are devious and his eyebrow juts up with playful intentions.
"You can't do it, can you? You can't just-"
You press your lips to his roughly, not knowing how to kiss since this is your first time. His large hand cups the back of your head immediately, sighing gently against your lips. It's messy and there's a lot of teeth but your heart thrums knowing Guk is your first.
When you pull away, you want to flee almost immediately but Jeongguk doesn't give you the time. His arm wraps around your shoulders and his smile is so large and giddy that it could rival the sun with its brightness.
"So you like me, huh?" he quips, running his thumb over your red, raw lips.
"Shut up!" you hiss, pulling his tie towards school.
Jeongguk groans loudly when he climbs into bed. He turned the heat up all the way but there's still a chill in the air that makes him tug the comforter over his bare chest quickly.
He can only smirk when you step into the doorway in only his t-shirt.
"You're getting so big that your belly enters a room first, y'know," he quips.
You snort softly, a noise that used to be common but it's the first one in months.
"Dinner was delicious, I missed your cooking so much." your husband breathes, hooking both of his hands behind his head.
"You didn't cook at all?" you inquire gently, climbing into bed beside him.
He turns his head lazily to you, raising an eyebrow. "You think I could cook for myself when I was so worried? I can't cook to begin with."
"Oh, so you admit it then." you sigh, placing a throw pillow beneath your bump and turning to him.
He laughs, crinkling the corners of his eyes cutely.
The moonlight casts a bluish glow over his face and arms and you can't help but begin to lose yourself in his handsome features.
His breath starts to catch in his throat when he looks at you, your eyes are speaking thousands of words of ardor and he can't help the tug of his heart at the sight.
"Doctor Kim said we have to have sex," you bleat.
"We don't have to do anything, baby. If you aren't comfortable, then we aren't doing it." Guk deadpans, running his hand over your belly.
When the light hits his irises just right, the beautiful mocha color seems to burnish holes into your skin.
His hand cups your cheek and your eyes squeeze shut at the soft warmth.
You don't know what you're ready for in all honesty.
You don't know what you need if it isn't Jeongguk.
And you want to try at least something to feel closer to him.
"I-I want to try something," you whisper uneasily.
Your husband leans up on his elbow, looking at you with curiosity written all over his handsome face.
He looks you over, pushing the comforter off of his ever heating body and your eyes fall straight to his torso. His abs are thick and noticeable, the muscles flex and ripple with each deep breath he takes and you find yourself heating up at the sight.
The black ink of his tattoos litters his body in all the right spots and all you can think about is how much you've missed him.
"What do you want to try, baby girl?" he coos, running his hand through his long blonde hair.
"Well if you stay still… maybe I can…" you can't even find the words, your throat tightens up and you feel completely lost at what to do.
Before you were taken it was so easy to fall into bed with your husband and now it's like you're grasping for straws.
Jeongguk hitches up the leg of his briefs, raising an eyebrow. "If you're really serious about it then take what you need."
"That's selfish," you mutter, looking down as his thick thigh muscles twitch suggestively.
"Hey, hey, hey," he coos, tilting your face up with his index finger, "you need to feel comfortable again. You have my patience, my love, my heart, anything and everything. You take everything you want and need from me without guilt. I'm your husband, there's no way I could be selfish with you."
He's always been this way with you, ever since middle school. Jeongguk has always given you more than you give him and that selfless nature of his always has your heart bleeding in ways you may never understand.
You lean in slowly, your breath hitching at the closeness of him and his eyes flutter shut in anticipation.
"Take everything," he reminds you, running his fingertips over your stomach softly.
Guk can't help the mewl that escapes his throat when your lips press to his. He lets you take the lead, keeping his hands to himself politely.
Your kisses are slow and nervous but Jeongguk appreciates them all the same.
"Don't be nervous, baby. I'm right here. You're safe." he promises, pulling away for air.
You don't want this pressing anxiousness, you just want to be normal again. That's all you want.
Your hand shakes when you wrap your hand around his wrist.
"Mmm, that's it. Guide me, babe. Show me where you want me." your husband breathes out, kissing over your jaw with gentle pecks.
"Uh…" you chirp, settling his hand between your thighs.
He hums sensually, letting the heat from his digits warm your soft, cool skin. "So pretty," he purrs.
You gasp loudly when he cups your sex and his eyes are immediately on yours.
"Just relax, baby girl. If you don't like it or you aren't comfortable just tell me. I'll stop right away, okay?" he promises, kissing your lips ever so gently.
You give a meek nod, whimpering when his digits drift over the seat of your panties.
"Baby girl likes it. You're wet already." he breathes, inching his body closer to you.
He can feel the stickiness of your panties and his hips rut into the air at the feeling.
Jeongguk has been so depraved of everything besides the overwhelming feelings of guilt and loneliness he feels deep down inside.
He parts your folds through the sodden fabric, immediately connecting the pad of his thumb to your swollen clit.
"How's that, baby? You like that?" he gasps, watching you writhe under his sweet touch.
You mewl softly, squeezing your eyes shut and nodding.
There's this nervous pit within you that seems to be diminishing by the second. Every deep breath your husband takes and every word of praise that drips from his lips lulls you deeper into his comfort.
"Can I take your panties off?" he inquires sweetly, hooking his fingers into the sides.
Your hips lift within a word and he peels your underwear away at a deathly slow pace.
Your arousal is messy and stringy, breaking away from the soaked fabric to cling to your pussy lips and thighs.
Jeongguk groans wantonly, tossing the fabric away in a fury.
You've both only ever known each other's bodies. You lost your virginities together, you've both only loved each other so much that every part of your bodies is solely for the other.
Even if Guk hasn't had you in months, it's a muscle memory remembering how you like to be pleased.
"You're soaking wet, baby." he gasps, running his fingers over your puffy lower lips.
"P-Please," you whimper childishly, spreading your legs.
The wanton groan that rips from your husband is animalistic and needy at best but it pushes all your fears away in that moment.
"What're you begging for, hmm?" he coos, kissing over your neck.
"I don't know," you laugh, turning your head to him.
His smile is heartbreakingly gorgeous and he kisses you with the intensity to rival a thousand men. If this was any other time you would have pulled away but the arousal that's searingly hot and coursing through you only wants more.
You moan into the kiss, earning a gentle whine from the man you love.
"Is this what you want?" he quips, thrusting two fingers deep inside you.
Your stunted moan is loud and your chest heaves at the fullness you feel.
It's always amazing how he fills you up without even trying.
"Fuck, your pretty cunt is so tight." he groans, curling his fingers expertly to the sensitive bundle of nerves within you.
"G-Gukkie!" you whimper, placing your hand on your growing stomach.
"Feels good, baby? You like it?" he asks sweetly, placing his free hand atop yours on your belly.
You give a meek nod, mouth dropping open when he starts to pump his fingers in and out of you at a snail's pace.
"You're so beautiful," Guk breathes, pressing his thumb back to your swollen clit.
He rubs loving, smooth circles to the nub, praising you when your moans reach a loud pitch.
"That's not what you call me in bed, baby. You know better. Come on," your husband goads, lifting his long t-shirt to look at your stomach.
"Daddy," you preen softly and he smirks at your sweet tone.
"Good girl, there it is."
His fingers fuck into you faster and your hands can't stop raking over the taut muscles of his stomach.
Jeongguk feels like he doesn't have a second to waste. He wants to please you in every way and show you how much you've been sorely missed.
"What am I going to do with you? You're too gorgeous to be in my bed." he groans, pressing his lips to the swell of your stomach.
Your hips wriggle for more and he pulls out altogether. Adjusting the painfully hard erection beneath his boxers, he lays down on the bed.
"Come take everything from me, baby," he announces, opening his arms.
You feel so empty, so needy and bothered that you immediately heed his command.
Whimpering softly, your legs part over his thick thigh and he gives a warm smile up at you.
"You're so beautiful," he avows, running his hands over your sides.
His thigh is smooth and rigid beneath you. You emit a whimper throughout the quiet room as you begin to rut yourself against his muscles.
"God, you're so wet. My thigh is soaked. Fuck." Guk curses, moving your hips faster.
Looking down into his eyes, they're drunk with adoration and lust.
You're too grateful to feel so peaceful and calm in this moment. You can think of nothing else besides the man beneath you.
He hums in agreement, tucking his bottom lip tightly between his teeth.
He can only look at your body with wonder. You're so perfect and you always have been. You've always been a dream to him and he's so happy you can be back here in his arms.
Pushing the shirt up higher, his hands graze over your large stomach and he whines softly.
"You look so amazing carrying our daughter." he praises.
His thigh muscles flex tightly for you and your hands scramble to press against his chest at the feeling.
The pressure is so intense and so amazing, you can only babble meaningless words and sounds.
Your head lolls back and your nails scratch against his golden honey skin when the bubble inside you begins to expand.
It's been so long since you've felt this kind of relief that it's approaching at a rapid pace.
"Does it feel good, baby girl? You wanna cum for me?" your husband asks, drifting his hands over your bump.
"Yes," you squeak, allowing him to intertwine your hands together.
"Yes what?" he quips, looking down at his soaked thigh.
"Yes, daddy." you breathe, letting your head loll back.
"Good girl, I bet you're real close, hmm? Just let go, baby. Take what you need."
His hands on your skin are so gentle and sweet that it's easy to fall over the edge with someone to catch you so earnestly.
"I can feel your clit throbbing, shit," your husband whines, running his fingers through his hair.
There's a moment when everything goes still. It's just you, your husband and your deep seated pleasure. You can only begin to relish in it when time starts up again.
"Daddy! Cumming!" you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut.
"Look at me when you cum, I want to see your pretty face."
Your eyes snap open on his command and suddenly that bubble inside you bursts.
The pleasure is so intense and so mind shattering that you can only make small gasps and whines as it courses through you.
Your hips rock slowly and your brain short circuits at the explosive feeling.
"Gukkie!" you cry out softly and when your body begins to rack gently, he sits up in a flash to coddle you.
"You're okay, I'm right here. You're safe, baby." he avows, running his hand over the back of your head.
Your chest feels tight and you hug him so closely that there isn't any room for anything else.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to get you water?" he inquires sweetly, kissing your temple.
"Don't leave me." you beg, laying your head down on his shoulder.
"I would never dream of it, baby." he whispers, rocking you slowly in his arms.
Your eyes flutter shut and the small pattern of irregular shapes that your husband draws on your skin calms your heart right away.
"Felt good, huh?" he chuckles, combing his fingers through your hair.
Your nod is childish and sweet, earning a bright smile from the man before you. "I love you, y'know?"
"I love you, too." you whisper, laying down beside him as he falls back.
He looks down at his soaked thigh with a wry smile. "I still get you flooding like a river."
"You're still cocky," you sigh, burying your face into his shoulder.
He laughs loudly, wrinkling his nose. Turning to you, his thumb drifts over the apple of your cheek and he can find no greater peace than this.
"Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?" he inquires.
You shake your head softly, getting comfortable beside him. "Just you."
Those words shoot straight to his heart and he feels like he's falling in love all over again.
"Are you in pain, should I help you?" you murmur tiredly.
Clicking his teeth, he kisses your forehead. "I'm never in pain when I'm with you. You should know that by now."
"I didn't feel scared at all. It was really nice," you bleat, feeling your head get heavier on his body.
"I'll show you that you don't have to be nervous or scared anymore. I promise," he whispers, smirking when your lips part in your unconscious state.
You're still quiet when you speak but at least you're speaking.
Guk is over the moon with how close you let him get. He can hug you and kiss you now without feeling your body tense up so tightly.
On one hand he feels guiltier, if he would have just talked to Dr. Kim from the start, maybe your healing process would have begun months before this. On the other hand, just seeing you heal is worth its weight in gold.
"So… progress? Do we want to touch on that?" Namjoon inquires, giving a smile when you sit beside your husband and not at the end of the couch.
"We got closer this week than we ever have yet." Jeongguk tells him, letting his arm go lax so you can wrap your hands around his bicep.
Namjoon's eyes widen and he nods pleasantly. "I see. How was that for you, Y/N?"
You hum softly, watching as your husband spins his wedding band. "It felt good to just relax and not be scared."
"Ah, I see. So it pushed away everything you were nervous about?"
You nod pleasantly, looking up at Jeongguk who gives you a wink in reply.
"I was really nervous at first and my heart felt like it was going to explode but then after a while it kind of melted away," you squeak, feeling your neck and ears heat up out of embarrassment.
"That's really good. It's healthy. Not many people c-"
"But I felt guilty," you chirp, cutting off the therapist.
Dr. Kim narrows his eyes at you curiously and so does your husband.
Namjoon's hands politely fold and he tilts his head when you try to make yourself smaller.
"Why, baby?" your husband pouts, running his hand over the back of your head.
"Well I didn't do anything for you." you bleat, looking down at the sunflowers that make up the bottom of your dress.
Guk frowns deeply, drifting his thumb over the base of your neck. "Baby, you know I don't care about that."
Namjoon takes off his glasses, cleaning them with the hem of his shirt as he takes in your interaction. "So, Y/N, you felt guilty that you couldn't please your husband like he pleased you? Is that right?"
Your nod is miniscule but he does catch it when he puts his glasses back on.
"I see. Well that's quite good in a way, isn't it? It means that you love your husband so much that when you can't give back everything he gives to you it makes you feel as if you've been selfish."
"I've always felt that way. Jeongguk always gives me everything and I feel like I never do nearly enough for him in return." you gasp, accepting your husband's hand when he intertwines your fingers together.
"Babe," he murmurs, brushing a few stray hairs back behind your ear.
"It's natural to feel that way. It just goes to show how much you love him." Namjoon announces, crossing his legs.
Guk pushes the side of your head until you're leaning your temple against his shoulder. His lips glide over the crown of your head and you squeeze his hand tighter within your own.
"I'm going to give you an exercise this week, Y/N." Namjoon says, putting his clipboard aside.
You perk up at his voice, tilting your head curiously.
"Please Jeongguk how you think he should be pleased." the therapist says, folding his arms.
"I'm sorry," you whine to your newlywed husband.
He looks up from the end of the bed, running his soft hands over your calves.
"Don't be sorry, you can't help it." he coos sweetly, kissing over your exposed skin.
"I want to go out and play," you whine, looking out the bay windows of your hotel suite.
The sun is high in the sky and the palm trees sway in what you can only assume is a sweet, cool breeze.
Only on your honeymoon would you get jet lagged and sick.
Guk chuckles, crawling up the bed to lay beside you. "We have so much more time to enjoy Bali, it's okay. You just need to focus on getting better right now."
"But it looks so cool outside," you whine, turning to him with a pout.
He taps his index finger to the tip of your nose cutely. "Just relax, baby. You're not going anywhere until you feel better."
Taking the cold towel off your forehead, he dips it back into the warm water.
"You don't have to stay with me, you can go out and have fun," you suggest, closing your eyes.
"I have all the fun I need in this room. I have you." he whispers, smothering your cheek with kisses.
He lays the warm rag back onto your forehead and he can't help the love that blooms throughout his body when he looks down at you.
Sure, your face is a bit pale and peaky and yeah, your body is covered in a film of cold sweat but God, you still look like everything beautiful and perfect in this world.
"You're so sweet. I don't know how I ended up with someone as perfect as you," you murmur, letting the fresh sea air blow through the window over your body.
His smile is wide and loving, a billion sweet thoughts coursing through his head at all times.
"I think you're perfect. I've loved you since the moment I saw you." he breathes.
"Stop one up-ing me. It's not good for my mental health," you jeer, letting a small smirk grace your features.
Your husband chuckles, kissing the top of your head repeatedly. "No one could ever love you as much as I do."
"Now that I believe," you sigh happily, feeling your husband lay down in bed beside you.
"Just worry about getting better and then we can go play with dolphins."
"Dolphins. Okay, just dream of dolphins." you breathe blearily, accepting the tired state the medicine is putting you in.
Jeongguk gives a lopsided smirk, watching your head tilt towards him.
"Beautiful as always," he whispers, pressing his lips to yours.
Your husband was surprised to hear that you felt guilty in all honesty.
You've never voiced it in that way before.
"Do you think that you don't do enough for me?" he inquires curiously, setting down his chopsticks.
You look up from your food and suddenly the guilt is tripling and swirling around in your gut. "Yeah, sometimes." you whisper.
"Why?" he asks, picking up his plate and bringing it to the sink.
Staring up at the paintings above the dining room table, your head tilts. "Well, you've always been this big love bug and I'm not always like that. You're really selfless and I'm not."
He clicks his teeth softly, turning to you and crossing his arms. "I love you the way you are. I love everything about you… I always have."
"That's what I mean. That selflessness." you breathe, turning to him and giving him a small smile.
He chuckles sweetly, a sound that you adore more than anything in the universe.
When you stand, he quips an eyebrow.
Being kidnapped was terrifying, coming back was just as scary but not being able to show your husband how much he's adored and loved… well that's just as frightening.
Even though you still have this constant looming of nervousness that enraptures your being, it doesn't supercede the need to show love to your husband which you're grateful for.
"What is it?" your husband coos when you grip his wrist.
You don't reply, pulling him towards your bedroom silently.
"Baby?" he inquires, allowing you to take him to your room.
Closing the door behind you, you want to flee but you stand your ground, pushing against his chest until he's seated on the foot of the bed.
He stares up at you curiously, putting his hands behind him to balance himself.
"I love you," you avow.
"I love you too. Baby, what is it? Are you alright?" he asks curiously, tilting his head.
Your knees touch down on the soft carpet underfoot and his eyes widen.
"Wait, babe. It's okay. You don't have to-"
"I want to," you promise, cutting him off.
He takes in your doe-like gaze and he hums unsurely to himself.
"Come kneel on the bed if anything, I don't want your knees to get hurt." he breathes, pushing himself back to give you room.
See. He's too sweet and gentle to be unappreciated.
You take his advice, climbing onto the bed between his parted thighs.
Licking his lips slowly, his eyes watch you like a hawk.
"Y/N, we don't have to do this right n-" he groans softly, cutting off his words when you graze your hand along his soft cock.
His eyes squeeze shut and you're almost too quick at unbuttoning his jeans.
He lifts his hips, his pretty lips parting for air and his chest seems to tighten.
You're sure he's been aching since the other night when you fell asleep on him and the answer becomes known right away when you pull down his briefs.
He's already rock hard, the long, thick length seems to twitch and pulse for relief. The bulbous head is a maddening red and he seems so sensitive that even the soft graze against his heavy balls has him whining.
"G-God," he hisses, laying back.
You lick your lips, watching as precum begins to bead at the tip.
You've only ever had this man beneath you and God, you're lucky to have him.
"Take your shirt off," he begs, tugging at the hem.
You do as told, suddenly too concerned with pleasing him than to feel any sort of nervousness.
"Fuck, your tits are huge." he groans, palming your breasts softly.
Taking a sharp breath between your teeth, you can only whimper at his touch.
"Hurts?" he asks sweetly, pulling away.
"No, no. More. Feels good. They ache." you coo.
He tugs down the cups, widening his eyes at how different they look than what he's always been used to.
"Damn," he mumbles, sitting up.
"This is about you," you whine, palming his cock.
He moans so loudly that it ricochets through you and you can already feel your panties dampening.
Jeongguk is quick to tug off his shirt, giving you full view and access to his God-like body.
"Your nipples are so puffy." he bleats, running his thumbs over them.
"Jeongguk," you croon softly, trying to admonish him but it isn't coming out as such.
When your nipples begin to harden, small beads of milk start to gather at the tips and his eyes shoot up to yours.
"I want to taste," he growls, laying you down.
He isn't sure if it's because you look so motherly and so angelic or if it's something that he didn't even know would turn him on but the sight of your breasts leaking is sending him into an animalistic fury.
"I'm supposed to be making you feel good!" you gasp, feeling his lips drift over your clavicle.
"You always make me feel good," he murmurs, scoffing loudly when you begin to jerk his cock in hand.
His lips are warm and sweet against the swell of your breasts. You can feel the pufts of hot air he expels with each groan and scoff as he snaps his hips to your hand.
The tip of his tongue peeks out between the sweet pink petals of his lips and he looks up at you for confirmation.
Your smile is enough for him to continue and his hand presses to the distended side of your stomach as he makes his dissent.
Flicking the tip of your nipple with his tongue, your milk is sweet and enrapturing against his taste buds and he preens at the taste.
"Fuck, it's so sweet." he gasps, wrapping his lips around your stiff peaked bud.
You can only whine sweetly, carding your fingers through his hair when he suckles harder.
"D-Daddy! Oh!" you cry out, running your thumb around the head of his cock.
His precum is thick and sticky as you spread it around the head and he shivers against you.
You feel relief and intoxication when he continues to suckle. "Feels so good, the other one. Please."
He complies immediately, moving to your other breast and suckling.
"Oh fuck, baby. I want your mouth on me," he begs, letting your nipple go with a noisy pop.
It's easy to get back into this routine, shoving him down to have full access to his body.
Your tongue swirls around the bulbous head of his cock, picking up the thick, sticky precum he beads endlessly.
"Holy s-shit," he groans, moving your hair out of your face.
Gathering your hair into one fist, he runs his free hand along your cheek.
With every dip of your head, a string of curses greets your ears and you know how much he's enjoying himself.
"God! You've always been so good with your mouth. Fuck!" he curses, letting his head thump back to the pillow beneath him.
His cock begins to throb as you swallow around him and the hiss of pleasure he seethes through his teeth has your loins unfurling with sickly sweet wanting.
"W-Watch your stomach." he begs when you swallow him to the hilt.
Your nose brushes against his bare public bone and your husband is quick to wipe the tears off of your cheeks.
"My cock is too big for your pretty throat, huh? You're making a mess," he coos, drifting his thumb over your precum and spit covered chin.
You don't care how messy you look, you just want him to feel good because he deserves it. He deserves everything.
You begin to fuck his cock into your mouth faster and Jeongguk can only hiss and groan semblances of words.
"You- Ooh, fuck! You're so go-good at this. Shit!" he cries out, lifting his hips off the bed.
Whimpering gently as his cock begins to throb in your throat, you grip onto his thick thighs.
"You're gonna make me cum, Christ!" he moans, tugging on your hair.
With each dip of your head, his precum squirts onto the flat of your tongue and you're so lost in the world of pleasing your husband that you can't think of anything else.
"Off, get off. I want to cum on your belly." he gasps, pulling your hair.
With a noisy pop and a soaked chin, you let his cock fall free from your mouth.
You lay down at his command, running your fingers over his abs as he jerks his cock in hand.
"You look so fucking pretty with my baby inside you, I'm-I'm gonna cum all over this belly," he whines, his blonde hair falling into his eyes.
Tucking his bottom lip between his teeth, he gives a long groan. "Baby!"
Your thighs rub together for any and all friction you can find, staring up at the handsome man. His eyebrows knit and his mouth drops open into a silent scream.
Palming your leaking breast, he curses once more before ropes of his cum land on your distended stomach. "Fuck!"
He sits back on his heels, looking you over with lust drunk eyes and the goofy grin he gives you makes your heart hammer inside your chest.
"Damn," he breathes heavily, putting his hands on his hips, "you look so good covered in my cum."
You can't help but give a sweet giggle, letting your head loll back to the mattress.
Jeongguk takes in the silence and for the first time in a long time, he doesn't find it eerie.
"Are you aching?" he whispers, spreading your thighs.
You hum nonchalantly and when he looks down at your swollen cunt, he narrows his eyes at you. "Don't try to hide your need from me. I see your clit throbbing."
"This was about you," you offer, sitting up on your elbows.
"Don't care." he chides softly, wiping your stomach with his briefs.
His arms wrap around your thighs and your breath hitches in your throat when his head bows down.
The gentle kiss he gives to your swollen bundle of nerves has your hips lifting off the bed.
"You deserve to be pleased more than anyone in this universe," he coos, licking a flat strip up your sex.
"Guk!" you gasp, fisting your hands into his hair.
"Play nice," he jeers, attaching his perfect lips to your clit.
He suckles harshly, flicking his tongue back and forth until your chest has no more air to expel.
"You're so sensitive when you're pregnant," he breathes, entering two fingers into you slowly.
You whine his name, arching your back at the fullness you feel. His fingers curl perfectly inside of you and you can already feel your head swimming with pleasure.
You didn't register just how needy you were until this moment. You were too busy trying to please the man you adore.
"Daddy!" you whimper, letting go of his hair to fist the sheets in your hands.
He hums softly in agreement, slowly adding a third finger.
It's pent up wanting that floods through you at a blinding pace and your mind goes blank in an instant.
Jeongguk fucks his fingers into you faster, keeping his eyes plastered on your stomach which seems to get tighter and tighter by the second.
It's never taken him a long time to get you to your peak and it was and is something he's still constantly proud of.
"Oh my God!" you whine, throwing your head back.
When he hears your sobs of pleasure, he lifts the hood of your clit, taking his time to caress the throbbing bud with the tip of his tongue.
"I'm gonna cum. Daddy, pl-please let me." you beg, squeezing your eyes shut.
He hums in agreement, suckling harder until your legs are twitching and freezing in place.
The pads of his fingers flick against the velvet walls inside of you and suddenly your orgasm is blinding.
Your body racks with cries and your eyes well up with pleasured tears.
"You squirted for me, baby girl." Guk coos, pulling out of you and licking his fingers.
"Oh fuck," you gasp, putting your hand over your heart.
Your husband chuckles, inching up the bed until he's face to face with your stomach.
"Hi princess," he whispers to your daughter, running his hand over the soft, smooth skin.
It takes you a while to gather yourself after that explosive orgasm but hearing Jeongguk speak so sweetly to your daughter brings you back down to Earth.
"I really missed you, y'know," he avows, kissing your belly, "Daddy is gonna work really hard to make sure you and mommy are super safe and happy. Okay? Does that sound good?"
There's a tiny kick beneath his hand that has him chuckling in an instant. "Did you miss me too? We're all gonna heal together as a family. I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for those months, alright?"
When he looks over at you and his hair falls into his large mocha eyes, you can only smile warmly.
"I love you," you breathe, feeling butterflies swirl around inside your stomach.
He smiles brightly, rubbing smooth circles to your distended skin. "I love you, too baby."
Healing isn't always a one track thing. Sometimes there are setbacks and turns, other times it takes years.
You feel lucky to be getting your life back so quickly and it's only because your husband is the most supportive man of all time.
"So how was this past week?" Doctor Kim inquires, running his hands over the knees of his pants.
Jeongguk kisses the top of your head, wrapping his strong arm around your shoulders when you coddle to his side. "She's doing incredibly well."
You can only beam at his words, sending a shy smile the doctor's way.
"Y/N, how did you feel about the exercise? Did you show Jeongguk how much he means to you?"
"I tried," you breathe, recalling that night. "But it's a two way street with us, I guess."
Namjoon nods, setting down his clipboard. "And you know what? That's okay. In my opinion it's better to have things equal on both sides. It's a good thing that Guk adores you so much that he doesn't want things to be one sided."
"That's right," Guk whispers, intertwining your hand with his.
You look down at his wedding band, leaning your head on his shoulder with a pleasant sigh.
"And what about the anxiety, Y/N? Did you feel much of that?"
Your cheeks burn at the intimate question but you answer the doctor anyway. "No, it all just kind of melted away. I was so focused on pleasing him that it just kind of… faded."
Dr. Kim nods, crossing his legs and taking off his glasses to clean them. "You're healing. That's so important and you're doing it the right way -- together. Soon, you won't even need to come here."
Jeongguk runs his thumb over your bare shoulder, kissing the top of your head until your mind goes blank with only positive emotions.
"What should our exercise be this week?" your husband inquires.
Namjoon tilts his head, looking over how healthy the bond between you both has strengthened. "Just relish in each other's company."
"I really hate this," Guk sighs, wrinkling his nose at the design he's drawn.
The disappointment in his voice draws your attention and suddenly you're draping your upper body over the back of the couch.
"I think it's pretty, what's wrong with it?" you inquire.
He sighs, tossing his pencil down and running his hands through his long hair.
"It just feels so… rigid and so… fucking… bland. It has no soul in it. There's no emotion."
You don't know how he's always been so creative. It's always been a wonder to watch him work whether he was just doodling random cartoon characters or he was trying to create a new look for an upcoming building.
Your husband's eyebrows are notched together tightly, completely absorbed by everything wrong with the sketch.
"It feels so impersonal. There's no real soul in it. No real connection." he seethes, frustrated.
You pout in his direction, wishing you could distract him for just a second.
He's been so caught up in this project it's almost eating away at him.
Guk hasn't been sleeping or eating the way he should, he hasn't been enjoying life since the beginning of this project.
So you do the one thing that will get his attention.
Peeling off your sundress, you stand up off the couch.
Your husband runs his hands over his face due to his frustration and his breath catches in his throat when his eyes open.
"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm not really in the mood to-"
"Just let me take care of you," you cut him off, unlatching your bra and letting it fall to the dining room floor.
Jeongguk takes a sharp breath between his teeth, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you between his now parted thighs.
His hands run over your curves, looking up at you with soft, loving eyes.
"You're so beautiful," your husband breathes, leaning in to kiss between the valley of your breasts.
You hum softly, letting your fingers card through his black locks.
His lips pepper more loving kisses to your skin before he's stopping.
"That's what this project needs. More curves! More fluidity! Motion! Something with emotion!" he cries out, sitting up straight.
You sigh, putting your hands on your hips and narrowing your eyes at him.
"I know! I know! You're so totally pissed at me but just stand there for a few minutes," he beams, grabbing the large sketching pad and his pencil.
"Mkay," you concede, watching his eyes drift over you slowly.
"You're my biggest inspiration! I don't know why I didn't think of this before!" he whines, running one hand over your bare side as his dominant hand sketches fluid lines.
"I love you," you remind him.
His hand stutters on the paper and he looks up at you with the most blinding of smiles. "I love you too, gorgeous. Always."
Today was the first day you've had company over in your house since you've gotten back home.
Jimin has been privy to everything being your husband's best friend and he's kept completely silent on the topic which you find yourself grateful for.
But the most frustrating part throughout the whole evening is feeling your friend tiptoe through every conversation you both have.
He stops talking every five seconds as if he's thinking over what he's going to say before actually saying it just in case it triggers something inside of you.
And while you're grateful -- you wish it hadn't come to this.
"Your tomato plants look healthy," Jimin breathes, nodding towards the back patio.
"Jeongguk took good care of them while I was gone." you chirp, feeling your husband's lips press against your temple.
Your best friend clears his throat, slowly nodding at your admission.
Long gone is the frail woman who would jump at each and every small sound and every quick movement.
You just want to be normal again. You don't want to be the kidnapped victim anymore.
You want to be Jeon Jeongguk's wife.
You want to be the mother of a precious little girl.
Not someone who's been taken.
Jimin taps his fingers to the arm of his chair, bringing the mouth of his beer bottle closer to his face.
He's thinking again. Thinking of what to say.
Looking down at your lap, your fingers drift slowly over the swell of your stomach.
"The baby's getting big." your best friend comments.
Your husband takes the opportunity to fawn over you, pulling you close to his sweet smelling chest. "Yeah, she is. We decided to go with Haneul for her name. It's something uplifting and healing. We definitely needed that after everything that's happened."
You're more than grateful that Guk isn't too shy around the subject.
Ignoring the situation is one thing. Pretending like it never happened would kill you inside.
Jimin clears his throat, taking a deep swig of his beer.
Maybe it's your pregnancy hormones or maybe it's something even more troublesome that bubbles with a fury deep within you.
"Jimin. It's okay to talk about it, y'know." you announce, crossing your legs.
"N-No, I know. I just-" he doesn't finish his sentence, looking down at the knees of his pants.
"I'm not scared or ashamed of it anymore. We've both started to heal properly. It's alright for you to speak about it."
Jeongguk kisses your cheek, curving his hand around your distended stomach.
"I know… I just…"
"You don't see me the same anymore? I'm not the same girl that used to stick my used gum in your hair when we were in sixth grade? I'm not the same person that helped you lose your virginity in college by introducing you to Byul? Yes, I was kidnapped. I was handcuffed to a radiator at night. I bagged up drugs for free and got like twenty grains of rice a day. I wasn't allowed to speak. I was losing the feeling in both of my legs when Haeneul kept getting bigger because I couldn't walk anywhere. But I'm okay now. I'm still me. I'm still the same nasty, irritating bitch that made fun of you for that lopsided bowl cut you decided to do on yourself so you could look like Rain."
Jeongguk and Jimin blink in unison.
Your husband kisses the top of your head repeatedly, hugging you closer to his body.
Your best friend stares at you and you can practically see the rusty cogs turning in his mind.
"It wasn't fucking lopsided. All the girls loved that look." Jimin says finally, smirking over the top of his beer bottle.
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, bud." you giggle, letting your body relax against Guks.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. It's just taking me a while to adjust to you being back. I don't want to upset you." your friend apologizes, leaning forward and placing his hand on your knee.
"You can't possibly upset me, I'm stronger now. Stronger than I've probably ever been," you promise, placing your hand atop his.
Jeongguk groans loudly as he jumps onto the bed.
His hands open and close childishly, giving you a big smile when you shed his t-shirt from your body.
"You okay?" your husband inquires, running his hands over your thighs as you straddle his waist.
"Yeah, I just don't want to be 'the victim' anymore. I'm healing and I want everyone around me to heal as well."
He nods in agreement, sitting up and drifting his lips over your collarbone.
"I got something you can heal if you're up for it," he quips, pulling your bra strap and letting it snap back into place.
You hum to him, gasping softly when he tugs down the cups of your bra.
"Fuck," he curses softly, suckling softly at the thin skin of your neck.
His chest presses against your stomach and when the gentle kick of your daughter reminds him she's also there he can only smile against your skin.
His hands rub at your distended sides, kissing down the swell of your breasts. "Daddy needs some one-on-one time with mommy right now."
You let out a breathy laugh only to suck a sharp breath between your teeth when the tip of his tongue flicks at your nipple.
Your back arches and Guk takes the opportunity to unlatch your bra, his hands cup beneath your breasts, pushing them up for his viewing pleasure.
"Such pretty tits," he hisses, suckling from one nipple to the other until you're a shivering, sobbing mess before him.
It's a downright sin how fast you get wet for him. He could snap his fingers and you'd be sodden in an instant.
"D-Daddy," you preen softly, combing your fingers through his hair as he pushes your breasts together.
He suckles on both nipples at once, keeping his eyes glued to your pleased face.
Your hips roll against his hardening cock, whimpering when he flicks his tongue quickly against both stiff peaks in tandem.
"You're soaking through your underwear like a little cumslut," he hums, running his hands over your back and laying you down softly.
Jeongguk kisses down your body slowly, drawing out long sighs and whines from you until your mouth is dry and aching.
He leaves hot, open mouthed pecks along the swell of your stomach as he makes his descent.
Your hands are shaky, eyes widening to watch him.
Grabbing needily at your thighs, he kisses over your clothed pubic bone, grabbing the band of your underwear with his teeth and tugging playfully.
"Fuck, you get my cock so hard," he breathes, pulling down his briefs.
His thick cock bobs in the air, pearling with precum and twitching with neediness.
"Christ," you whine, reaching forward to touch it.
He stops you in an instant, kissing up your forearm and hooking his fingers into the sides of your panties.
Guk pulls down your underwear slowly, licking his lips at the amount of arousal that is spread over your bare lower lips.
Tossing the underwear away, he spreads you open with his index and middle finger.
He hums aloud, watching your entrance pulse and quiver, begging to be fucked.
"Pretty little pussy just dying to take my fat cock," he groans, burying his face against your core.
He suckles at your lips, your clit, your thighs, adoring the high pitched whines that emit throughout the room.
"Daddy, please!" you cry out, lifting your hips for more.
Slowly, he enters two fingers into you, kissing up your belly.
You gasp loudly, letting your head loll back at the full feeling.
He curls his fingers to the spongy spot within you that makes you boneless before him.
"M-More!" you whine, fisting the sheets.
He smiles against your skin, adding a third finger.
Your chest heaves and you tug gently on his hair.
"You wanna cum? You wanna soak the bed for me? Hmm?" he inquires cheekily, kissing up to your breast.
You nod quickly, letting your mouth drop open when he begins to fuck you faster with his fingers.
He suckles at your nipple, groaning at the milk that enraptures his taste buds.
Your toes curl and your eyes become spotty.
"I want you to squirt all over my fucking hand." he seethes through his teeth.
The sounds of your wet cunt echo throughout the bedroom and your eyes squeeze shut at the oncoming pleasure that creeps steadily through your body.
"Your belly is getting so big, I love it. You look so beautiful carrying my baby." he murmurs, nipping at your ear lobe.
Your hips lift, moans turning it babbles and semblances of words from different languages.
When he feels your pussy begin to throb around his fingers, your husband moans into your ear. "You're gonna cum for me, aren't you? Cum for daddy, get my hand nice and soaked."
"F-Fuck!" you squeak, pulling at the sheets until they're pooling around your body.
Then the bliss enraptures you, you cry your husband's name loudly, slamming your hips down to his hand with a quickness to ride out your high.
You can feel your arousal squirting out of you in waves and Jeongguk groans loudly at the sight.
Pulling his fingers from your core, he rubs your clit quickly, adoring how your body shudders.
"Good girl," he coos, prying your legs open and entering his fingers into his mouth.
Whimpering gently, you run your hands over his arms, willing your breathing to return to normal.
He runs his hard cock through your folds, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth.
"Your pregnant cunt is so warm," he breathes, thrusting deeply inside of you.
You moan for him, wrapping your legs around his waist and hooking your ankles together.
His thighs spread wider, placing his hands on your belly and running his thumbs soothingly over the skin as you accommodate to his large size.
He starts off slow, letting the bulbous head of his cock drag through your plush walls sensually.
"Oh fuck, yes," he hisses, peppering kisses over your knee and down your thigh.
Your husband takes his time, letting his hands roam over your body.
He's afraid to cum too quickly, it's been a long time since he's been inside you.
Lifting your hips off the bed, he palms the skin of your backside.
"Yes, God, right there!" you whine, digging the heels of your feet into his back.
"Yeah? Right here?" he teases, thrusting hard to the one spot that has your mind swimming, "Like that? Your pregnant little pussy wants more right there?"
You cry out loudly, bringing your hands to knead at your breasts.
"Yes, daddy! More! Please!" you beg.
"Open your mouth," he instructs, letting one of your cheeks go.
Doing as told, he enters two fingers into your mouth. He keeps them flat on your tongue, picking up speed with his hips.
You whine and gargle against his digits, keening loudly when he throws your legs over his shoulders.
He angles himself forward, minding your large stomach.
"You feel so fucking good around me. You're so fucking wet, sloppy little pregnant hole just for me."
You sob loudly against his fingers, letting him fuck you down the bed.
His teeth nip at your calf, groaning at how impossibly tight you are for him.
"What's that, baby girl? I can't hear you. You want it harder? You want me to wreck your pregnant pussy?" he hisses, hooking an arm around your thighs and pressing them tightly against his body.
You scream against his fingers, your second orgasm approaches like a freight train and you know all too well that you won't last much longer.
"Fuck, look at these tits," he groans, pulling his fingers from your mouth and drifting them over your hardened nipples.
"Da-Daddy, I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna…" you whimper, scratching your nails down his thighs.
"Oh, yeah? You wanna cum on this thick cock? Go ahead, baby girl. It's all for you," Guk moans, sliding his knees under your backside and ramming the head of his cock into the soft patch of nerves within you until you're squirting for him once more.
"Christ!" he cries out, pushing your legs off his shoulders and angling his body over yours.
He's seemingly hypnotized by the way your breasts heave upward with each thrust and he keeps his hands on your belly, rubbing smooth circles to the skin.
"Tell me you love me," he begs, squeezing his eyes shut.
"I love you," you sob, watching his long blonde hair fall into his eyes.
"You're never fucking leaving my side again," he seethes, leaning down and suckling at your breast.
"Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum," he sobs against your nipple.
You feel it then, his cock thickening and throbbing for release within you.
"Where do you want it?" he gasps, looking up at you.
"In me, cum inside me! I want to feel it!" you beg, running your nails down his arms.
"Oh, baby!" he moans, thrusting slowly and deep until warm ropes of cum lather your spent walls.
He lets out a shaky sigh, pulling out of you and spreading your lower lips. "Push it out," he instructs.
You do as told, pushing his cum from your blissed core.
"Fucking hot," he murmurs, kissing over your shoulder and laying down beside you with a groan.
His hand cups your stomach, his face nuzzles into your neck and your rapidly beating heart begins to even out once more.
"I love you, baby. More than anything or anyone in this universe." he avows tiredly.
When he feels the gentle kick of your daughter beneath his hand he lifts his head. "You too, princess. I love you too."
You smile at the sight, closing your eyes.
There is no one in this world that could help you heal like your husband beside you.
"Well," Dr. Kim breathes, "I think this is going to be our last session."
"Really?" you inquire, wide-eyed.
He nods in agreement, taking off his glasses.
"You've healed so much over this past month. Faster than I've ever seen before. You're an incredibly strong woman." the doctor announces.
"Well I have the most supportive partner," you smile, nudging your husband who winks at you in reply.
"You'll still need to be open with each other. You'll need to rely on one another and keep it up but that hole within you is filling up more and more each day."
Jeongguk nods astutely, kissing your temple sweetly.
"You both are the perfect example of healing with a loved one. I can see how much you love each other. I can feel how much you adore the other and that's powerful. That can get you through anything."
Your chest puffs up at the therapist's words. There really is no better person to heal with than Jeon Jeongguk.
"I love you," he whispers into your ear.
"I love you too." you reply, intertwining your fingers.
"And on that note, that ends our session." Namjoon smiles, putting the clipboard on the table and putting his glasses back on.
In this moment, Jeongguk takes in the silence and he relishes it.
While it's loud and it's deafening, it calms him.
Because when you're by his side, the silence sounds like the most healing, romantic song.
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