#I’m sorry I didn’t wanna go all depress on here but I’m crying and couldn’t stop and no one is awake right now I need to write to calm down

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve got the tattoo the day they held the very small, very secret service for Eddie.

He knew he had to get it somewhere hidden, didn’t wanna answer questions, not even from Robin.

The E+S on his upper thigh was precious to him, all he had left of the promises they made to each other as children and again as teenagers.

Eddie was Steve’s, even if he wasn’t here, and Steve would always be Eddie’s, even if Eddie no longer knew.

But eventually, the end of summer came, and the kids wanted to have something normal. Normal for them was a pool party that ended in a sleepover, and Steve didn’t have much choice about making it happen.

He wanted them to have something normal.

So he got his bathing suit on, forgetting the tattoo was in a spot that might show in it, and tried to have fun with them.

Robin noticed and then Max noticed, and once he’d tried getting out of the explanation twice in a row, Dustin and Will noticed.

So he just explained that he lost a dare with Tommy years ago and that got them to stop asking.

But he found himself crying in the shower that evening, trying his best not to make any noise as sobs wracked his body and it got harder and harder to breathe.

The only thing that snapped him out of it was the knowledge that Eddie would want him to go back downstairs to be with the kids. He wouldn’t want to see Steve like this.

He kissed his fingertips and pressed them to his tattoo, just like he’d done every single day since he got it.

And then he went downstairs to be with the kids.

His one rule during sleepovers at his house was he still go to sleep in his own bed. Sometimes Robin would join him, but most of the time, he slept alone.

He couldn’t sleep.

He could feel the exhaustion deep in his bones, but every time he closed his eyes and tried to drift, he’d get an overwhelming feeling of being watched.

His eyes would open and he’d look around, confused and frustrated.

And nothing would be there.

Which was good, great even. He didn’t want there to be anyone or anything there. But he did want an explanation for this feeling.

He sat up in his bed and sighed.

Maybe he could-

Something was definitely in his bathroom. The door had been closed earlier, like it always was, and now it was halfway open.

The light was off.

Steve stood from his bed silently, crept to the bathroom with his nail bat raised, and considered what would happen if he died up here.

“That’s a depressing thought even for your melodramatics, sweetheart.”

Steve barely resisted screaming at Eddie’s voice.

“Oh god. I’ve finally fuckin’ lost it,” he said as he turned the bathroom light on.

“I dunno. You still got it, baby. Even if you lost some weight in your ass.”

Eddie, or something that looked and talked like Eddie, was sitting on the sink in the bathroom.

“I did like those little swim trunks, though. Hope you wear those again for me.”

“What the fuck.”

“You know, that’s exactly what I said when I woke up alive. Kinda thought I was dying. Imagine my surprise when I didn’t.”

Steve held his bat tighter.

“Eddie? How?”

Eddie hopped off the sink and stepped closer, slowly, so he wouldn’t scare Steve.

“Not sure. But it’s not the craziest thing that’s happened.” Eddie wanted to touch him, Steve could tell. His hands were clenching into fists to resist. “I know I’m not human, but I’m close enough, I think.”

“Close enough for what?”

“To love you.”

Steve dropped the bat and fell against Eddie, burying his face in his neck and breathing him in, not caring about the dirt or sweat or grime clinging to his skin.

It was Eddie, and he’d take him any way he could have him.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’ve been trying to get back here for so long.” Eddie’s arms held him tight enough to bruise. “Won’t happen again, won’t leave you again.”

Steve’s sobs were loud, but trying to contain them physically pained him. He’d been in enough pain for months. He had to let these out.

He felt Eddie waving his hands behind him, but then heard Robin’s rambling and decided to turn.

“-and he’s been distraught for months but didn’t tell me anything and then I saw his tattoo earlier and I thought, well, must just be a joke you guys had. And then I was like, no, can’t be, because you barely spoke. Or at least I thought you did. Clearly I’m wrong. I’m super wrong. Wrongest I’ve ever been maybe.”

“Robs.” Steve’s choked voice silenced her. “You know how I told you to go for it with Nancy because I really didn’t have feelings for her?”

“I don’t see how this is relevant, but yeah.”

“She protected me, both of us, really, so we could be together. Offered to pretend to date me so no one would get suspicious.”

“Steve. Steve Harrington. You had a beard?”

Eddie snorted. “I know you said she was funny, but I’m pretty she’s my second favorite human now.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I’ve been with Eddie for forever. I mean, since we were kids practically.”

Robin was silent. A rare thing for her.

“Robin?”

“Sorry, just taking this in.”

“Yeah, Eddie being alive is a lot-“

“Not that. That is gonna come a lot later once I stop and think about the fact that he’s some kind of zombie.” Robin leaned against the doorway. “The fact that I came out to my best friend and he didn’t return the favor. That is queer code, Steve.”

Eddie laughed, and Steve let out another sob. He’d missed him so much, missed his laugh, his arms around him, his heartbeat-

“Eds. Eddie.” Steve lifted his head and pressed both hands to his chest. “You-“

“Ah. So I don’t seem to have a heartbeat anymore. As far as I can tell, I did actually die.” Eddie shrugged as if this news wasn’t absolutely insane. “So my best guess is vampire since I prefer blood to brains. But I can get by without it for a pretty long time.”

“How long?”

“Well, I haven’t had any since the day I woke up. Which is a few months according to your calendar.”

Robin held her hands up. “I’m going. Good luck. The kids are gonna flip.”

“Do not tell them. Not yet.”

Steve needed tonight, needed to have Eddie to himself before everyone else stole it for a while. He wanted to be selfish for the first time in a very long time. He knew Robin would understand.

“Sure thing. But you’re gonna have to be quiet. You’re lucky none of them heard you crying.”

Steve nodded and curled back into Eddie, placing a kiss against his neck.

“Glad you’re back Eddie,” she said as she left.

“I need a shower,” Eddie said. “Think it’ll wake the kids?”

“Nah. They slept through a tree falling in the yard last month during a storm. Just need to be quick,” Steve pulled away to start grabbing what he’d need for a shower, but Eddie pulled him back on, running his nose along his neck and sending chills down his spine.

“You wanna join me?” He asked.

“Of course I do. But we won’t be quick if I join you,” Steve smiled.

A real smile. One he realized he hadn’t had on his face since spring break.

“You wanna wait in bed for me, then?” Eddie beamed back at him.

“Can I stay in here? I don’t-“ Steve sighed. “I don’t wanna leave you.”

Eddie’s smile softened into something endeared. “Yeah, sweetheart. You can stay. Talk to me. Tell me what I missed.”

Steve told him about everything he could while he showered away the Upside Down grime, watching his shadow behind the glass door of the shower to make sure it never disappeared.

They made sure the bedroom door was locked before crawling into bed together, Steve laying on top of Eddie like he always did before.

He was heavier, but Eddie never cared.

Steve slept so long, Eddie had no choice but to go downstairs in the morning so no one would wake him up.

The chaos that ensued was nothing short of overwhelming, but Eddie didn’t mind.

He was happy to back with all the kids, even if they asked incredibly inappropriate questions about his body to find out what he was.

When Steve finally came down, he was still half asleep and barely registered the open-mouth stares of everyone as he came up to Eddie and rested his head on his chest, wrapped his arms around his waist.

Eddie smiled down at him and kissed the top of his head.

“Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, baby.”

“Sunshine?!” Dustin yelled.

“Baby?!” Mike yelled louder.

“Make them go away,” Steve sighed against his neck.

“You don’t wanna explain?” Eddie asked him, half joking.

“Not today. Scare them or something.”

“You think Eddie can scare us? We’ve all almost died!” Lucas said.

“Fine. Eddie and I are together, have been forever. The tattoo on me is our initials. Get out of my house.”

The kids just stared at them in silence until Steve finally turned from Eddie and put his hands on his hips.

“I wasn’t asking. Get out.”

The kids scrambled to leave, making promises (threats) to come back soon.

Robin waved as she walked out with them, throwing them both a wink and knowing smile.

“So how long do you think we have until they come back?” Eddie asked, rocking them back and forth gently.

“Few hours maybe.”

“I can do a lot in a few hours,” Eddie nipped at Steve’s ear, making him shiver and laugh.

“You got super strength with your new life?” Steve grinned at him.

“I wouldn’t call it super, but I could definitely carry you back to bed.”

Steve jumped up and wrapped his legs around Eddie’s waist, arms around his neck.

“Carry me to bed, then, Eds.”

“Anything your heart desires, Stevie.”

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #headcanon #drabble #temporary character death #happy ending #vampire eddie munson

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Breakup Help (Chris)

Request: None (Reupload of the second fic I ever wrote and it’s lowkey shit)

Warnings: Friends to lovers, slight angst, insecure Chris, minimal degradation, eating out, basic sex

Y/n’s pov

About two weeks ago Chris’ girlfriend of two years cheated on him with his good friend and unfortunately, Chris walked in on them fucking. It had completely broke his heart, he’s been depressed and hasn’t left his room in days, he just cries and gets mad at his brothers for trying to make him eat a real meal. Matt had called me asking if I would go over and try to talk to Chris and cheer him up since I’m his best friend.

I agreed to go over since Matt and Nick were going to be staying at Madis for the night, needing to have a meeting with Laura anyways. I got my stuff together and went to the store to get Chris a Pepsi, goldfish and a monkey stuffed animal before heading to their house. I used my key to open the door, immediately going down to Chris’ room only to hear him crying really hard.

I knocked on the door softly “Hey buddy, can you unlock the door so I can come in please?” I spoke in a soft voice trying to be comforting. “No go away” his voice cracked as he responded, “Please Chris? I wanna give you a hug and I have something for you” I pleaded. After a loud sigh, Chris unlocked the door and I let myself in, he looked like hell, his hair was a mess, he hadn’t shaved in a few days, and had red eyes with massive bags underneath, I felt bad for him. I set the stuff I brought him on his desk and threw my bag and shoes on the floor before making my way over to the sad boy on his bed. I sat down, pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back as he clung onto me and cried.

“Why would they do this to me? Am I really that disposable that they can just move on and forget about me?” he cried out as he pulled away to look at me “No you’re not, you’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend or boyfriend, I’m sorry they did that” I said as I moved his hair out of his face. “S-she said I di-didn’t make her feel good and-d I have a small dick! B-but she always acted like it felt g-good! And s-said I was a ba-bad kisser. They both called me super ugly too” He spoke softly, stuttering over his words as he looked down with tears still streaming down his face.

“Awe Chrisy I’m sorry” I laid next to him on the bed as I spoke. “Now I feel really insecure…” he looked up at me with a sad expression, “Y/n do you think I’m ugly?” He questioned, making me give him a small smile. “Absolutely not, you’re very attractive. You have the most beautiful eyes, a stunning smile, perfect hair, the cutest little freckles, a very charming personality, the prettiest lips, really nice hands, should I continue?” A light blush spread across his face as I complimented him. “You think I have pretty lips and nice hands?” He questioned with a small smirk “Is that all you got from what I just said?” I asked rolling my eyes.

He replied with “No I also got that you think I’m cuuute” cracking a small smile. “Shut up or I’m leaving, you’re never getting complimented again I’ll just say you’re ugly” I rolled my eyes going to get up but he moved to lay on top of me so I couldn’t move and tightly hugged me “NO! I haven’t stopped crying since I caught them, you can’t leave you made me smile!” He said as he hid his face in my neck, “Fine I’ll stay if you get your fat ass off of me” I said pushing him off of me. “Don’t be mean to me, I’m vulnerable” He pouted “You owe me a hug now”

Chris had fallen asleep on me about 30 minutes after I got here but he needed the sleep so I didn’t bother him, a few hours had passed and he had just woken up. “Good morning sleeping beauty” I laughed at him making him whine and move his face away from my neck now laying on his back “Mmm if I’m sleeping beauty then I can’t wake up until I get a true loves kiss” he puckered his lips up and closed his eyes, earning a smack from me “Nice try bud” “It was worth a shot” he laughed.

We decided to watch a movie, Chris munching on the goldfish I brought him, before turning to me “Can I ask you a weird question” he asked earning a nod from me. “Remember what I said earlier?” “You said a lot earlier so you gotta be more specific” “What I said about h/e/n, when she said I was bad in bed” he sighed. “I don’t like where you’re going with this” “Just hear me out, would you um let me like make out with you and give you head? OH, and would you tell me if you think I have a small dick?” He pleaded with me.

I sighed sitting up to look at him “I love you and all but n-“ I didn’t get to finish because he interrupted me. “Before you say no…” He sat up moving his face closer to me, “…can I pleeeeaaaase!? If you don’t like it I’ll stop, I just need feedback on exactly what doesn’t feel good. please, it won’t be weird I promise!” he said, giving me the cutest pout. “Fine only because you look really cute when you make that face” I reluctantly agreed.

Chris pulled off his hoodie and shirt claiming they would make him “too hot” before throwing his blankets off of us sitting on his knees and pulling my face closer to his. I could feel the stubble underneath my fingers when I gently cupped his jaw, his eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips for a second before smashing our lips together. The kiss was hot and needy, Chris’ tongue slid across my bottom lip as he slowly pushed me to lay on my back making me gasp, allowing his tongue slide into my mouth as he moved to hover over me.

My other hand came up to to tread through his hair as his moved to my thigh, I don’t know what h/e/n was talking about when she said he was a bad kisser because that’s most definitely not true. Chris started leaving sloppy, wet kisses down to my neck before sucking deep purple hickies into my skin, pulling away when he heard a small moan come out of me when he sucked on a specific spot. I looked up at him, he was biting his lip looking at me “So how was that?” he asked. “Hmm I think I need one more for good measure” I teased as he smashed our lips together again.

This time he was a lot more rough, slightly sucking on my tongue making me loud out another whiny moan into the kiss. Lightly biting my bottom lip as he pulled away, wearing a cocky smile on his face. “Sooo” “One of the best makeout seshes I’ve ever had, I think you know that” I finally answered “You’re right, I just wanted to hear you say it, pretty. Now can I take off your shirt?” he replied. I just gave him a simple nod, he slid my shirt over my head looking down at my exposed breasts making him groan. He started kissing down my neck again, this time moving lower to leave hickies all over my chest before he wrapped his lips around my left nipple to suck on it, switching to do the same to the right one.

He moved lower, occasionally nipping at the skin of my stomach before he stopped at the waistband of my sweats. He slowly pulled my sweats off and started leaving teasing kisses on my thighs, his hands sliding up my sides as he started slightly sucking hickies into my thighs like he did to the rest of my body. He looked up at me, his eyes now so blown out that there was hardly any blue left, we made eye contact. He pulled away and smirked at me “You’re pretty I hope you know that”

Chris came up to press a soft kiss to my lips “How do you want me to get you wet?” He asked with a light blush across his face. “Just do it however you normally would, okay?” I cupped his face as I spoke, feeling the stubble underneath my fingers. “Okay but if I do that I have to take my pants, is that fine? I’ll still have my boxers on.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “That’s fine but please stop being so nervous bubs, don’t let that stupid bitch get in your head!” I said pushing his hair back, he just nodded and took off his sweats.

Chris kissed me again for the umpteenth time tonight, licking my bottom lip asking for permission as he presses his hips down against mine. He started grinding against me as we made out, one of his hands coming up to grab one of my tits playing with the nipple making me moan. I felt his cock starting to get hard as he gently bit my bottom lip, I threaded my fingers through his hair and lightly tugged on it. I sucked on his tongue a little bit making him groan into the kiss before he started trailing his kisses down my body once again.

He aggressively pulled my panties down and threw them somewhere behind him, groaning when he saw how wet I was. ���Damn, I really made you this wet?” he asked running a finger through my folds, I sheepishly nodded. Chris wasted no time, immediately pumping two fingers in me while kissing my thighs. He curled his fingers up, hitting my g-spot making me gasp before he wrapped his lips around my clit. Chris’ tongue started flicking the sensitive bundle of nerves as he kept curling his fingers up, slowly adding a third one. “Fuck Chris if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum” I moaned out, with his free hand Chris took one of my hands and placed it in his hair. I got the hint and started lightly pulling his hair not wanting to hurt him but his free hand came back to mine making my grip on his hair tighter and made me pull harder causing him to let out a groan.

The vibrations from his constant groaning make me get closer to my high, resulting in me placing both hands in his hair. Chris removed his lips from my clit “You like that baby, am I making you feel good?” he asked with a smirk before removing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue. “Sooo g-good Chris, gonna make me cum soon” I whined out as I felt my high approaching. Chris’ fingers started rubbing my clit in fast, tight circles, flicking his tongue in and out of my hole faster. “Oh sh-shit Chris, fuck ‘m gonna cum” I loudly moaned, tightly gripping his hair, making him groan, sending me over the edge.

After he had licked up all my cum, Chris hovered over me, his face shiny and covered in my cum. “So was it any good?” He asked with a cocky smile, already knowing the answer “You taste so good by the way, I might’ve just found my new favorite meal” he said winking. “Very good, the only thing that could make it better would be if you make out with me again” I responded while biting my lip. Chris came closer to my face so that our lips were almost touching “That can be arranged” he said before smashing his lips against mine, pressing his hips against mine once again, fully hard this time.

I grinded my hips up against his making him let out a loud groan “Fuck Y/n/n don’t do that, I’m already hard, I don’t need you making me hornier. It’s already gonna suck trying to ignore it, so d-don’t do tha- sh-shit” As he spoke I trailed my hand down his chest to his cock, giving it a squeeze. “Why don’t we prove the last two things she said wrong? Show me how good you can fuck me with your big cock Chris” I bit my lip and I moved my fingers to toy with the waistband of his boxers as I looked into his eyes. “Are you serious? Because I dont think I’ll be able to control myself if I fuck you and I don’t wanna be too rough or hurt your feelings” He spoke softly as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

I leaned up to place a kiss below his ear as I whisper “What if I like it rough and have a degradation kink?” I asked before sucking a few hickies into his neck as he processed what I just said. “And I’m on the pill so you can fuck me raw if you want to” I added making him let out a deep growl pulling his boxers down as he placed his lips on mine, teasing his tip through my folds. Chris placed his tip at my entrance, slowly pushing the mushroomed tip in before slamming the rest of his length into me. He pulled away from the kiss looking down at me waiting for me to tell him to move, once I gave him a nod he started pumping in and out of me at a slow pace.

“Chris, faster, please” I whined out as my fingers went to pull his hair. He started speeding up his thrust as we both let out moans “Goddamn you’re so fucking tight, squeezing my cock so good baby” he groaned out, speeding up his thrust even more, my nails starting to dig into his back as I moaned loudly. Chris dropped his head to look down between our bodies to watch his dick pumping in and out of me. “Ch-Chris you’re so big f-fuck! Ohh right th-there!” I whined out when he hit my g-spot repeatedly, I started sucking more hickies into his neck to match mine. “Yeah, you like that baby? You gonna cum all over my cock like a slut?” Chris growled out moving his hands from my waist, the left one going to rub my clit while the right one starts to toy with my nipples.

I grabbed Chris’ right hand bringing it up to my throat, loving the way his jaw dropped for a moment before turning into a smirk as he wrapped his fingers around my throat to choke me. “You’re such a fucking whore, letting your best friend destroy your tight little pussy!” Chris groaned as his thrusts sped up, his fingers on my clit doing the same as he repeatedly hit my g-spot. “I’m gonna cum! Fuck can I please cum!” I begged, whimpering as my nails scratched down his back, Chris’ hand squeezed my throat harder only adding to the pleasure. I felt his thrusts starting get sloppy signaling he’d was close too.

“Cum all over my cock baby, be a good little slut for me.” Chris groaned out. I came around his cock, my walls squeezing tighter around him, making him shoot his load inside of me. Warm spurts of cum painting my walls white. After we both road out our highs Chris stopped rubbing my clit and removed his hand from my throat before pulling out, causing us both to hiss at the feeling before he plopped down next to me. We both caught our breath before Chris spoke “That was something huh?” he chuckled out “I’m gonna be honest h/e/n has absolutely no fucking idea what she’s talking about because that was amazing” I said rolling over to face Chris, who had a big smile spread across his face.

Chris placed a sweet kiss to my lips, smiling into it when I kissed back, he moved some hair behind my ear after we pulled away “Thank you, for everything. You definitely made me feel so much better tonight, now let’s go get cleaned up and then we can go to sleep. I mean if you want to stay, y-you don’t have to it’s okay-y to s-“ he started saying nervously before I cut him off with a kiss. “Chris you don’t have to keep being so insecure with me dude. I’m not h/e/n, I actually care about you and I love you, you’re my best friend. Now come on let’s go shower and then we can cuddle okay?” I said while stroking his cheek. We got up and took a shower getting dressed after, I wore one of his shirts and a pair of boxers, before going to lay down. I was covered in hickies which made Chris feel proud, this was going to be fun to explain to Matt and Nick in the morning…

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Dear Eddie

Eddie Munson x best friend reader

Summary: a summer fling between best friends ends in heartbreak

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, implied sexual content, secret pregnancy, birth, post-partum depression, leaving a baby on someone's doorstep, work accidents (Wayne getting stitches)

Part one | part two

Word count: 6.8k

He hasn’t had a lot of visitors at his new place… not since the ground was patched up and the insurance sent him a new trailer but it wasn’t the same. His boy wasn’t with him anymore, the place was bigger, there was room for him too, but he wasn’t there. 

Eddie’s been gone almost 4 months now… and it hurts just as bad every day. Especially today, he doesn’t want to get up, but there’s a knock at the door and he’d hate to ignore it if it was Dustin coming for a talk or a hug or just a place to escape to. 

When Wayne opens the trailer door, however, he finds a baby wrapped up in blankets, placed in a cardboard box, perfectly content to be there. 

He looks up, staring down the road for any glimpse of the person who left it there. He walks past the baby and runs towards the end of his driveway, noticing a girl walking as fast as she can out of the trailer park. 

“Hey!!” He calls after her but she doesn’t respond, she starts to run instead but she can’t, not well. 

He can tell she’s hurt, something’s wrong with her… she’s sobbing as she stumbles and hits the gravel, hard. Wayne is quickly at her side, “hey, are you alright?”

“I’m sorry,” she pushes him away, “I can’t keep him.” She tries to stand up again, limbs weak and face stained with tears, “I have to go.” 

“No, please stay, talk to me?” He begs. “Who’s baby is that? Why did you leave him with me?” 

“Ed— Eddie,” she chokes on her sobs and accepts Wayne's support. She buries her face in his shirt and holds him tight. “I can’t do it without him. I can’t raise his son alone…” 

“Oh, god,” he holds her close, rubbing her back as he realizes who she is. “You’re Y/N, aren’t you?” 

She nods, he feels it, but she doesn’t pull away. “I had to hear about it on the fucking news… I was so pregnant and then he was gone…” 

“Come live with me,” Wayne offers. “I have another room with all his things in it, we can get a crib, I’ll help, but this baby needs his mom. Eddie would want his son to have a mother.” 

“I know,” she pulls away and wipes her tears. “I’m sorry… I just didn’t know what to do?” 

“No one ever knows,” he tries not to sob. “I’ve been so lost without him… but he’d want us to raise his boy, I know that.” 

“He didn’t even know I was pregnant… he hadn’t been up to see me in forever and I couldn’t tell him over the phone cause I knew he’d just drop out and run to me but I— I was going to come and see him for spring break, I had a whole plan on how I was going to tell him and then it was too late.” 

He rubs her back gently, “I know, it’s tough. I went to work one day and came home to a dead girl and no Eddie.”

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, either. He loved you a lot,” she reminds him. Knowing all too well the relationship between Eddie and his uncle and just how pure and precious it was. 

“Let's go back to the trailer, I wanna meet this little guy,” he turns back to the house, baby still in a box on his doorstep, not crying, just chilling there on the front step. “What’s his name?” 

“James, like the lead singer of Metallica… I thought he’d like it if he was here,” she admits, so caught up on the fact he’s gone. She really thinks he’s dead and not just missing. 

“He’s not dead,” Wayne whispers. “He’s just not here.” 

“I know but the police technically consider him dead and they’re not even looking anymore—

“Because the government told ‘em to stop,” he keeps his voice low. “I’ll tell you more inside,” he doesn’t want to explain in the open, the fewer people that know his business the better. 

“Wha—“ she just follows him quicker, up to the trailer where he picks up the box and brings both her and James into the main room. “Where is he?” 

Wayne sighs as he sets the box down on the coffee table and takes the little guy out. He’s big, for a tiny baby he’s very long and chunky and healthy from what he can see. Under his little hat he has the cutest dusting of dark curly hair, he can’t be more than 4 months old… she must’ve had him whence found out. 

“Um… can I ask you some more things before I tell you the truth?” 

She nods, “of course… I wrote you a letter, it’s in the box,” she takes James from him and holds him close, kissing his little head as she snuggles him close. “I didn’t want to abandon him… I just heard about the settlement and I know how much Eddie loved you like a dad and I knew he’d be safe with you and I— I—

“You were struggling,” he gets it, taking the note from the box and skimming through everything she wanted to say to him. “I don’t blame you…”

“I don’t have any of my things here, I was just going to catch the bus back but if you were serious?” 

“We’ll get your things later,” he agrees with a smile. “There’s a lot I can’t tell you, but I guess it starts during the earthquake… something big happened, something I don’t understand, all I know is he fell through the cracks in the earth and got hurt and he was exposed to something and they’ve got him quarantined somewhere I can’t go,” his voice gets louder the more he explains, angrier now than when the men in black first came to tell him about it all. 

Her eyes grow impossibly large, and she has to sit so she doesn’t drop the baby as she stares off into space, “how?” 

“I don’t know… they don’t tell me nothin’ but Eddie’s friends said he got hurt trying to save the world, so I know it’s not for nothing,” he simplifies it, it’s what he’s said to himself a million times to make it seem okay. 

Her shoulders drop as she melts into the couch, it’s all too much to even fathom. “He didn’t die?” 

“He didn’t die.”

—

When she found out she was pregnant, Eddie was just an old friend who visited her every few months. Last month he visited to play a show with his band, it was the first time he got a real standing ovation, the first time he looked at her like more than a friend from kindergarten… the first time he slipped into her bed and into her and then seemingly, out of her life. 

She saw him twice after getting pregnant, both times she could hide it well, unable to tell him the truth in fear their friendship would end in burning flames. He stopped coming around after the first trimester when school started again and he was trying to graduate.

That’s when the first letter came. 

Dear Y/N,

School sucks, I miss you, I wish I could come up and see you again soon but I promised Wayne this is the last year I’m freeloading on him. 

I need to graduate, and honestly think if I came to visit you I wouldn’t be doing a lot of homework. Not since the last few times I’ve been to see you have all ended up the same way… It’s hard to stay away from you, but if I came back I don’t know if I’d be able to leave you again? I hope you truly know how much you mean to me and how much I wish I could say this in person without chickening out… But, I love you. 

I love you a lot, I can’t wait to see you again soon. Maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas? Let me know what you can do, maybe you could even come here? I don’t know. I just know I miss you.  

Love from Eddie <3

She called him that night, and they talked for hours about feelings and truths they never shared with each other… all except the pregnancy. She brought that up slowly but he never caught on. 

He wanted kids one day, she knew that from the way he talked about Dustin, Lucas and Mike, he would be a good dad if he had kids… he knew she wanted to be a mom and she also knew his relationship with his own mother and how unfortunately short it was cut. They both wanted a family, and she listened to him talk about his childhood and how great Wayne was, how much he changed his mind on what a dad truly is… they both had shit dads and yet they turned out pretty okay. 

He couldn’t see her for thanksgiving, her parents were mad that he got her pregnant and even more angry that she didn’t tell him yet while at the same time they were grateful. They wanted her to never tell him, put the baby up for adoption in the spring at the end of her semester of college and go back to school as if nothing happened in the fall. But she didn’t want to do that. She wanted this baby, she wanted a family with Eddie, she was going to tell him at Christmas and they gave her an ultimatum. 

She was cut off the moment she left their house after that awful dinner. 

Her current semester was already paid for which gave her until January to get her act together and find a new place when the school kicked her out for not paying the winter semester fees. So she got a job, she made friends, and she went to single mom support groups that introduced her to the good food banks and how to get good coupons for all the baby things she’d need. She was even gifted some hand-me-down items. 

Eddie still called her every day and wrote her the occasional letter. He was super excited to come to visit for Christmas, she was going to be so pregnant she wouldn’t have to say much when he saw her, she just hoped it all went well.

When he didn’t show up for Christmas her heart broke a bit, she called the trailer 3 times and no one picked up, she called the hospital to make sure there wasn’t an accident that he was brought in for… nothing. She sat in her bed and worried with her hand on her stomach and a tiny roast chicken for two cooking in her oven, alone on Christmas. 

He called a day later, apologizing profusely but there was an accident at the lab, he spent the night beside Wayne in the hospital, holding his hand as he slept. It was a head injury, they had to cut his hair and sew his head back up, he was going to be out of work for a few weeks, and Eddie couldn’t leave him to take care of himself. 

She understood perfectly. It just sucked that another thing got in the way of her telling him the truth. 

She got a new apartment at the start of January, it was a low-rent place meant for moms and their kids… the distant sounds of babies crying made a very unpleasant ambiance but at least it was preparing her for what was to come. Alone or not, she was going to raise this baby to the best of her ability. She took a lamas class, she practiced her breathing, she had checkups every few weeks at planned parenthood and they were going to help her with her birth plan and apply for social assistance to help while she’s recovering and watching the baby. They assigned her a social worker, and she had free therapy, it was all really helpful while she went through it alone. 

On Valentines Day she came home to a bouquet of blue and yellow flowers sitting on her doorstep with a sweet note.

“I still love you so much, can we spend spring break together?” 

Spring break… it seemed so far away at the time and then it showed up in the blink of an eye. She turned on the TV that morning, struggling to angle the antenna to pick up any new channels to pass the time while she packed up to see the love of her life, the father of her child, the only person she’s thought about for the last 8 months… and longer if she really admitted that to herself. 

“Local girl's body was found in the Forest Hills Trailer park this morning, there’s no word on her identity or who the killer is. All we do know is foul play was involved and locals should be vigilant,” the reporter says, standing right in front of Eddie’s trailer. She’d know it anywhere. 

She called him, she called every Gareth Emmerson from the phonebook to find him, she even called Wayne’s work to see if she could reach him at all… nothing.

The TV is her only way of getting any information. Another boy died the following morning, back to back 8 am news reports suggested that Eddie was the one who did it, and if she knew his town, they were probably all hunting him by now… every fibre of her being wished he ran to her? If he was okay... if he was able to run… she wanted to help him and keep him safe and she knew he didn’t do it. There was no fucking way he did it! 

He was the sweet little boy who kissed her boo-boo’s better on the playground after Dean Barker pushed her down. He was the adorable teenager who bought her pads when they were hanging out and she randomly got her period. He was the gentile and considerate man who took in lost sheep without even thinking twice… he’s not a murderer. 

The earthquake rocked Hawkins the same day she was supposed to take the bus to go and see him. The helicopter footage showed the whole town in absolute disarray, the whole trailer park was practically sucked underground, the town hall was on fire, over 25 people died and then the worst fucking sentence to ever be spoken on television was said. 

“Edward Munson, the cult leader many accused of the horrific killings that happened here in Hawkins earlier this week is presumed dead, no one has seen him and with the growing death toll, local police don’t expect to. Back to you Janice.” 

“What?!” She throws the remote at the TV, “FUCK JANICE?!” She breaks down, sobbing, knowing she’ll never see him again and not a single soul gave a fuck. 

She spends almost a full 24 hours sobbing on the couch, holding her stomach for support, the baby inside her being the only piece of Eddie she had left. 

When her water breaks early, the doctors tell her it’s the stress she’s under, knowing something is wrong with her by the way she wouldn’t stop crying. Most women cried, it was completely normal, however, she was hysteric. She couldn’t even explain why, she ended up writing it down for one of the nurses. 

My boyfriend died.  

Yesterday.

She walked into the hospital alone. 

She wasn’t alone for long. 

She thought a lot about names, she considered everything from family names, both hers and his, to the names of things that mean a lot to them, songs, people, friends, and colours, she thought over everything. And yet the one name she keeps coming back to is Eddie’s middle name.

James.

Also, the lead singer of Metallica’s name, something Eddie found so cool that he shared with his favourite person, his idol… and now his son shared it with them both. 

She walked into the hospital alone. But she wasn’t alone for long, James Edward Munson, born March 29th, 1986, was a perfect little mirror of the boy she loved her whole life… and she was going to dedicate the rest of it loving their son. 

There are a few bumps in the road. Making money and watching a baby and trying to stay sane while working through grief is all really hard. So hard that she hops on the bus with James when he’s a little under 4 months old and almost leaves him with Eddie’s uncle… she couldn’t do it anymore, it was a lapse f judgement, it was her best option at the time, a silent cry for help that was answered in the best way possible. 

She moved in with Wayne full time in July ’86, she was able to stay home while he worked, she didn’t go many places except the grocery store, no one knew who she was or that Eddie was her baby’s father, she was a recluse in a town she never wanted to live. She saw him in everything, mostly in the kids wearing hellfire shirts walking home from school, and especially in their own son… she misses him so much it starts to kill her slowly and Wayne knows it. 

“You should introduce him to the boys,” Wayne suggests one morning while preparing James’s bottle, both of them sleepy wandering around the kitchen as James lightly whines in the other room, waiting for his breakfast. 

“Like Eddie’s friends?” 

“Yeah,” he gives her a sweet smile, holding a bottle in a boiling pot of water to heat up the cold breastmilk she stores in his fridge. “Dustin, Gareth, Jeff… they’d want to meet Eddie’s little boy… James needs some uncles.”

“Okay,” she takes a deep breath and crosses her arms, leaning against the counter as she waits for the bottle. “Do you think they know about me?” 

Wayne laughs, “yeah… how do you think I knew about what you two were?” 

“What were we?” She’s confused by that. “‘Cause to me, I was his friend and we slept together after high emotional nights and—

“You took his virginity,” Wayne cuts her off. 

“No, he took mine… he said he already—? What?”

“Oh, no,” Wayne keeps giggling, taking the bottle out of the water and testing the milk on his wrist. “He just didn’t wanna feel like a loser for not having sex until he was nearly 20, but yeah… you meant a lot to him and he loved you so much he knew if he went up to Indianapolis he’d never come 

“So thats why he got so weird,” she mumbles, taking the bottle and heading off to James’s room with Wayne in tow. “He sent me love letters and flowers and things…” 

“Sounds like him,” Wayne chuckles. 

“Morning, cutie,” she changes her tone when she sees James, picking him up from his crib and taking him to the rocking chair. His 7-month-old body barely fits comfortably in her arms anymore, he’s getting so big. He takes his bottle, he holds it himself and looks up at her with his big chocolate brown wonders. She runs her fingers through his little curls, he’s so much like his dad it hurt sometimes. “I love how much of him is in James…” 

“I know,” Wayne takes a knee beside her, looking at James just the same. “I hope he gets to meet his dad soon. I want him home.” 

“Me too…” 

—

With James held against her with one arm and his diaper bag slung over the other, she walks into the school after the bell rings and follows the instructions from the receptionist. Down the hall, past the washrooms and to the left there was a drama room, that’s normally where Dustin Henderson spent his time. She finds it easily, there’s a “game in session” notice on the door but she knows there hasn’t been enough time since the last bell for them to be too busy, so she walks in anyway. 

“Hello…?” She calls out. 

“Hey?” A young boy stands from the table to greet her. “Are you lost?” 

“Um, no, this is hellfire, right?” 

“It is…” another curly-headed boy comes up behind her, trying to get into the room. “What can we help you with?” 

“I’m Y/N… Eddie’s girlfriend?” She keeps her voice low, “or I was trying to be before all the shit went down here…” 

“The Y/N?” The kid behind her asks. 

“Yeah, that one,” she manages to laugh, “this is James, if you couldn’t put it together, Eddie is his daddy,” she bounces the baby a bit, making him smile as he grips onto her shirt and leans into her shoulder with a drooly smile. 

“I’m Lucas, that’s Dustin,” the first boy explains for them both, shocked but not speechless like Dustin. 

“Wayne mentioned how James needs some uncles, so I thought I’d come to meet you guys?” She makes sure it’s okay, “do Gareth and Jeff still go here?” 

“Yeah,” Dustin finally answers, leading her over to the table, right to Eddie’s old thrown. “Let’s get you a seat, he looks heavy… and he’s the rightful heir so…”  

“Prince James,” she teases her little guy, setting her bag down on the floor as more boys start to pour in. 

“Gareth, Jeff, this is Y/N and James… Eddie’s family,” Dustin explains, his voice low and sad, wishing more than anything he could tell them all the truth about where their friend was. 

“no way!” The boys light up and rush to the table. “He said you two slept together but—

“He didn’t know,” she shakes her head, cutting them off. “I never had a chance to tell him, I wanted to, believe me,” she forewarns. “But uh, yeah, this is little James. James, say hi to daddy’s friends.” 

The little boy waves slightly, shying away into his mom's side. “He’s slowly becoming more of a people person,” she laughs, holding him tightly and kissing his curly mop.

“How old is he?” 

“8 months,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, they knew how to do the math, they would all know. 

“You had him when he died?” Gareth is the first to pick it up. “You knew all that time and never told him?” 

She shakes her head, “no, I couldn’t. It’s not something you say over the phone to someone trying to graduate high school, now is it? If I told him he would’ve dropped everything to run to me, the band, this club, all of you, I wanted you to have him as long as possible.”

“Yeah, none of us got enough time with him,” Jeff sympathizes, placing a hand on Gareth’s arm. “But you’re right, Eddie would’ve done everything for you. What do you need? We’ll be here for you both now instead.” 

“Thank you,” she gives them a genuine, toothy, smile. “I’m living with Wayne, we’re still in the trailer park, I just wanted you in James’ life, I wanted him to have at least 1 cool uncle like how Eddie had Wayne… we’ve moved onto calling him gramps by the way.” 

“And he doesn’t hate it?” Dustin asks, shocked. “I’ve tried calling him pops and he thought it was weird.” 

“It is,” Lucas shoves him. 

“he loves it, now at least,” she can’t help but laugh. “James is still trying to say grandpa… can you say, papa?” He shakes his head and buries it back into her shirt. “I guess that’s a no.” 

“He’s adorable,” Gareth gets a little closer, squatting beside her so he can seem less tall and scary to the little baby. “Hi, James. My name is Gareth, your daddy used to call me Gare… I wouldn’t mind you calling me uncle Gare?” 

“He called you Gare-bear,” Jeff corrects, “call him uncle Gare-bear, please?” 

“he doesn’t really talk yet,” she laughs, feeling more at home than she has in a long time. Like Eddie was there with them, watching and smiling too… the room carried so much of his essence that it was hard not to feel him. 

God, she missed him. 

—

May 1988

“What do you mean she doesn’t live here?” 

“I’m sorry, Sir, Miss Y/L/N moved out almost 2 years ago now… I might still have her forwarding address?” 

“Please?” Eddie begged, following Y/N’s old landlord into the building and waiting for her at the threshold of her office, not wanting to intrude. 

“Her last address I was given is Trailer 13, Forest Hills Trailer park, Hawkins Indiana,” she hands him a copy of her address on paper and a small smile. “Something about moving in with her son's grandpa… I don’t know.” 

He tries to stay calm, feeling so fucking confused and out of the loop because who knocked her up and why was she living in his uncle's trailer park? He just takes it and thanks her, heading back out to the van the government supplied him with as an apology for keeping him locked up for 2 years to run tests on him… he was telling them the whole time that he’s healthy and fine and just wanted to go home, but they didn’t listen. The last thing they wanted was to send another monster back to Hawkins. 

With a haircut and lighter clothes, he’s been cleared of all charges and it's been suggested that he not go back to Hawkins for his own safety, but now he had no choice. 

He drives the 2-hour trip in under 1, speeding until he hits the town he spent most of his life in and abiding by the speed limits. He travels down newly paved roads, over patches in the ground he was once deep under and towards where his heart ran off to in the midst of the madness. 

He pulls up to a brand new trailer, nowhere can he see that ugly blue trailer he watched fade over the years under the sun. Behind a new truck, he parks his van and gets out, there are kids' toys all over the yard, evidence that she did have a kid, the windows are blocked by shutters and the door doesn’t have a screen he can spy through either. 

But he knocks anyway.

“Coming!!” He hears Wayne's voice and his heart stops.

The door swings open, and he’s holding a curly-headed little boy with a wide smile that drops the longer Wayne stares into his eyes, “Eddie?” 

“Hi,” he whispers, eyes welling with tears. “Where is she?” 

“Work, what are you doing here?” He changes the topic right away. “I thought you weren’t allowed to come home?” 

“They declared me not a risk to the general public,” he explains. “I would’ve called but I went to Indianapolis first to talk to Y/N cause I missed our last meet-up… turns out I missed a lot?” 

“Come in,” Wayne holds the door open for him, letting him into the trailer, it's big and clean and nice… “sorry for the mess.” 

“What mess?” He manages to laugh. “It’s nicer than when I was a kid… speaking of?” He points to the toddler in Wayne's arms, snuggled into his shoulder with his thumb in his mouth, scared of visitors as it would seem. 

“This is James,” he smiles, “James this is your daddy… ‘member the photos mommy shows you at bedtime? He just has short hair… he’s not scary, see?” Wayne walks over to him and sets his hand on his shoulder, shaking him as he presses his lips together and tries not to cry. 

The last thing they needed was to scare James. 

“Papa?” James whispers to Wayne, his grandpa. “Daddy?” He turns to Eddie that time, reaching out for him. 

“Yeah,” Wayne helps his little brain understand. “I’m papa, he’s daddy,” explaining further as he hands him over.

Eddie takes him in his arms, looking into his brown eyes and noticing everything about him that he got from himself and Y/N. “Hi, buddy?” He tries not to cry and scare him at all. “yeah… I’m your daddy.” 

James rests his head on eddies shoulder, cuddling into him, “you just caught his nap time,” Wayne explains. “You want to read him to sleep? Your old books are all still here.” 

“yeah... I just want to sit with him?” He tears up a bit, holding James as close as possible while being extra delicate with the toddler. “I have so many questions?” 

“Y/N gets home at 4,” he smiles. “She’ll tell you everything… I think she’s written you a letter every day since she move here since she found out you lived.” 

“Oh god,” he whispers, “she thought I died?” 

“for 4 months…” 

He closes his eyes and tries to stop himself from crying, he cradles the back of his son's head and presses his cheek to the soft baby curls on the top of his head. He smells like a baby, he’s soft and sweet and his and hers… “I love you so much,” he whispers. “I wish I came home sooner.” 

Wayne wraps his arms around the two of them, joining the hug because he just couldn’t take it anymore. He missed his boy so bad. “I love you.” 

“I’m not supposed to stay in Hawkins…” 

“So we move,” he replies in no time. “As long as we’re a family, we can be a family anywhere.” 

“Daddy?” James asks again, squished between the two men. “Ba?” 

“Oh,” Wayne pulls back, “he wants his bottle and to go to sleep… he’s big about schedules,” he teases with a laugh as he heads to the kitchenette. 

Eddie trades arms, holding the toddler on the other side and taking a moment to look at him with a sweet smile, “what books do you like, buddy?” 

“Trucks,” his eyes light right up, even with the sleepy sand gathering around his lashes. 

“he’s obsessed with anything with wheels, isn’t that right, buddy?” Wayne explains as he comes back with a bottle. “Let's go to his room,” he nods down the hall, making Eddie follow him. 

His room is cute, not too big, not too small, full of photos of him when he was even tinier than this with Wayne and his band and his friends, he has a hellfire poster, he has trucks everywhere and eddies old rocking chair in the corner. “You can sit there and read to him and then carefully put him in the bed when he’s asleep… I’ll give you your time with him—

“What?” Eddie panics. “I can’t be alone with a baby?” 

“He’s your baby, you’ll do fine,” he waves it off, points at the chair and then heads out, closing the door behind himself. 

The rooms dark, but the chair is in front of the window so some light still shines through the blinds and onto the pages he holds in his free hand. James snuggles into him, holding his bottle in his arms and listening contently to every word. He nods quickly, his eyelids flicker shut and flashback open as he fights it. Still suckling on his bottle, he fights it for at least 10 minutes before the bottle drops from his lips and barely stays in his grasp. Eddie stops reading then. He puts the book and the bottle on the table beside the chair and just looks at his son. 

His son.

He had curly hair and a round button nose. He had chubby cheeks like Y/N did when they were little, he’s tall like Eddie’s side of the family, he’s smart like hers… he’s everything. 

If he does the math right in his head she had him around the time he went missing, which meant one of those first and only 3 times they had sex got her pregnant and she never told him… she tried, he supposes that’s what all the family and baby talk came from. She asked about the future too much for someone simply curious. 

He places James gently in his crib and watches for a moment to insure he doesn’t wake up, when the coast is clear, he tip-toes out of the room and quietly twists the door handle as he shuts the door for ultimate quiet… the deep breath he lets out when he’s successful is unlike any other. 

Wayne’s in the living room watching tv with a plate that once held a sandwich, “want some lunch?” 

“I’m good,” he passes and takes a seat beside him, snuggling into his uncle's shoulder he finally lets himself cry. “No, I’m not…”

“Oh, my boy, I’m so sorry,” he wraps him up and lets him cry. He can’t even imagine what they did to him for two years, 2 months and 6 days. It was far too long for him to be quarantined with no contact with the ones he loves. It was so unfair. “When you can, I want to know anything and everything… you can share it with me, you don’t have to carry this all alone.” 

“She had my baby,” he whispers, unable to pull back, still broken inside and numb everywhere else. “All alone…” 

“I’ve been here. She showed up 4 months after, we’ve been together ever since,” he explains. “Not like together, but she lives with me, I love her like family. She is family.” 

“What about hers?” 

“They cut her off,” he sighs. “Cunts, the whole lot. You should hear some of the shit they said, and how rude they were when she tried to invite them to Christmas 2 years ago… she tried to have them meet their grandson and they didn’t care.” 

“They always sucked,” he finally pulls away and wipes his tears. “I’m glad she had you. You’re the best dad a kid could have.” 

“Grandpa,” he corrects, “I love being a grandpa to that little boy, he’s such a gift.” 

“I want to know everything, how old is he? What’s his full name? What does he like? All of it.” 

“His full name is James Edward Munson, James for Metallica and Edward for you,” he explains as if he needs to. 

“Seriously?” He lights up, “that’s amazing.” 

“His birthday is March 29th, ’86,” he confirms Eddie’s suspicions. “She was going to tell you, at Christmas and then,” he points to his head scar. 

“She was so sad when I finally called her back,” he remembers like it was yesterday. 

“She’s not mad at you at all anymore, she wishes every day that you’ll come home, she’s going to pass out when she sees you,” he half kids. He doesn’t really know how she’ll react. “I think I should tell her first…” 

—

Works long, she hates it the whole way, all she wants is to get home to her baby for some snuggles and a nice night in after Wayne leaves for work. She clocks out at 4 on the dot and all but runs to her car, she couldn’t wait any longer to get home. 

Much to her surprise, Wayne is waiting outside. Which is weird seeing as he doesn’t smoke anymore… who was with James? She parks behind the strange van in her drive, thinking it’s Gareth’s, he was in the market for a new one… so she grabs her purse and gets out with a cautious look on her face. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Eddie’s home,” he breaks the ice with a fucking sledgehammer.  

“What?” She drops everything and covers her mouth in shock. 

“He’s inside, James met him, they’re in there together—

She breaks past him and runs inside, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees the 2 pairs of matching brown eyes turn to her with glee. “Mommy!” James stands from the carpet and runs to her. 

She scoops him up, “hi baby,” she tries to stay normal and calm, she kisses his cheeks and breathes in his baby scent after a long day apart. “Can you go outside with grandpa so mommy can talk to daddy?” 

“Why?” He asks one of his new favourite words. 

“Cause mommy needs to tell him some grown-up things, but it’ll be 5 minutes, I promise,” she hands him off to Wayne. “Then we’ll all go out for dinner, okay?” 

“Okay,” he trades off easily, heading outside and out of earshot. 

She lunges for Eddie, diving to the floor and wrapping her entire body around him. He holds her back just as tight, sobbing uncontrollably without any words to be said. There wasn’t much that could be said. She pulls back only enough to press their foreheads together as she holds his face in her hands and he holds her right back. They stare into each other's eyes, sharing how much they miss and love each other with just one glance. 

“I’m home,” he assures her. 

“Good,” she brushes her nose against his. “It’s about time we were a full family.” 

He kisses her for the first time in forever, something he’s thought about day in, and day out throughout his quarantine. He can’t stop kissing her either, he kisses her whole face, making her laugh instead of cry but his kisses still taste like salt from the tears already shed. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I’m sorry, too,” she takes some of the burdens off his shoulders. “But that little boy out there has no idea anything happened, he doesn’t know this is weird and not normal… so it’s okay.” 

“you think?” 

She nods, “he’s had the best life so far, he’s surrounded by love. I didn’t know you had so many friends until I moved here.”

“Who?” 

“Well the guys, obviously, but also all your friends from the end of the world,” she knows more than he expected. Dustin must’ve spilled the beans. “Uncle Steve really likes to buy our son expensive shirts, Aunt Robin and Nancy are the best babysitters ever… Dustin loves him like a brother, Mike and Lucas and Erika are always coming over to see him too… our son is very loved.” 

“Our son,” he repeats, still astounded by it. “I can’t believe I have a son and wasn’t there for it…” 

“I made you something,” she struggles out of his grasp and to her feet, dragging him up as well and towards her room in the back.

Under her bed, she has a shoe box full of things. “This is our memory box… we’ll it was before I moved here. I started putting all of my memories with James in here too when I learned you could come home one day…” 

He sits on the bed beside her, watching her sort everything into what she wanted to show him the most. “I have the letters you sent me, the dried flowers from valentines day, my pregnancy tests, his sonogram,” she hands them to him so he can look at their baby’s first photo. 

And then his second, she hands him a polaroid. “The nurses took this of us.” 

“You looked so cute pregnant,” he can’t believe it, she was swollen and happy and adorable with their son resting on her chest. 

“And then this is his umbilical cord stump,” she holds up a plastic bag with a dried-up brown thing in it. 

“Ew?” 

“Not ew!” She can’t help but laugh at his disgust. “Lots of moms keep them, it’s the last part of us being together… and when I become the tooth fairy I’ll probably keep them too.” 

He chuckles, shaking his head with love, “of course.” 

“And…” she gets up from the bed and opens her bedside table to take out two notebooks. “I wrote you some letters.” 

“Letters?” 

She nods, opening it up to page one, “dear Eddie, today our son is 5 months old and I realized you’ll be back and wondering all about him and these milestones you missed. So here are some things to know, he was born in the middle of the night and now it’s his favourite time of the day…” 

“It’s all like that?” His eyes light up. 

She nods, “and there are some parts from me… about the days it was hard to not be with you.”

He takes the books from her and flips through the pages, seeing some had polaroids taped to them. Photos of their son on the carpet with numbers, each one he gets bigger. 6 months, 7 months, 8 months, he grew a personality with each one too. Smiling, rolling, kicking, he was never in the same position, he was such a cutie, his heart swelled in his chest. 

“I thought you’d like them,” she notices his tears, sitting beside him and wiping his cheek for him so it didn’t get on the pages. “I knew you’d be home.” 

“And I’m never leaving. Either of you.” 

Taglist

@fightingdragonswithwho @mrs-dr-reid @kyomito @reidselle @venomsvl @nomajdetective @girl-with-an-orange-cat @stevesmunsons @blairscott @sweetyyhippyy @wroteclassicaly @reidsbookclub

#eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #stranger things imagine #stranger things season 4

[lordkingsmith]

@whatwedointhecraft they’re immediately so banter-y lol

He sent the message asking about the state of the tree and how much it’d cost to get it to England, and left the laptop to get mail. When he came back, there was a reply.

lol a what now?

Embarrassingly he still didn’t notice the fact he wasn’t messaging Nathan and assumed he was tired due to time zone differences. So carefully copy and pasted the little ad and reiterated his message with more clarification.

Man I think you’re talking to the wrong person lol

Which actually made him look. And yes. He was. Neil Breaker. He didn’t even know who that was. He quickly looked at the man’s page and realized he was a teacher in Seattle. He was 40. And they’d friended each other months ago over the same PennyThought Arcade game, for extra perks. The travesty of not being able to will yourself into sinking through the floor whenever an embarrassment occurred. Chancy swallowed around it and went back to the DM’s.

-I am so very sorry. I didn’t realize I wasn’t messaging my friend. I apologize again, I just haven’t really been all here since my wife passed a few years ago

Why he put that he didn’t know. Impulsive, embarrassed, and wanting to make sure the other knew he was fully apologetic. He got to Nathan and left an a dm about the seedling, double and triple checking he had the right person this time.

Nah, I get it. Happens. Sorry bout your wife tho

You ok???

Was waiting for him from Neil and his heart did a double flip.

-I mean. I’m 55. I have a retirement I didn’t want, I’m a single parent of a daughter I did want, and I’m a widower. Financially I’m fine. Everything else is empty, I suppose. The one person I thought was going to be here to enjoy this with me isn’t. I barely talk to anyone in person much less anything physical. The only time I’m happy is when I’m with my daughter or when I’m in my garden.

He took a deep breath, hands lightly shaking as he finished writing. He hadn’t admitted any of this to anyone. And here he was, telling a perfect stranger he was horny and lonely and depressed. Too much information to just share on the internet as well, he knew.

Another long stretch of silence on Neil’s end and he took the time to wash dishes while waiting, anything to expend the jittery nervousness.

“C’mon Chance” he scolded himself as he angrily washed a bowl. “You’re not some seventeen year old about to cop a feel in the movies. You are fifty five years old. Act your age.” But this was the closest he’d gotten in years to. Well. Anything.

You realize you’re talking to a dude, right?

And an American

Christ on a pogo stick I’m across an ocean to you, my guy

<control=io>bot will explain function</control>

Chancy felt another embarrassed flush creeping down his neck. Alright, yes he probably did sound like a bot. He found, copied and sent the song “Guess What? I’m Not a Bot” by a singer his daughter loved. A few moments later he got the cry laughing emoji and smiled faintly.

Ok fair enough, I’m sorry. Can’t be too careful.

Look

My school’s just hit break. Not expected to do anything for the summer but do course planning. So I can. I dunno. Take a vacation

Why not

Chancy about choked.

-Really? You don’t have to

-I was just ranting

-But I wouldn’t say no

-You’d just…I can book you a hotel?

He ran his hands through his mildly curly brown hair, staring at the screen. He couldn’t believe he’d just typed this. Was entertaining this.

You wanna try something over video chat first or..?

-I’m not a robot

No no I get that. I mean sex, dude.

Or talking. Either works

Just so we know each other, you know?

And then yea, sure, after that I’m down for you booking me a hotel

Gimme a week tho

I gotta find a place to take my dogs while I’m over there

-you have dogs? I have a dog and a cat

-Rumor and Sneeze Master

I’m guessing Sneeze Master is the cat

-mhm lol

And now you’re talking like a person lol. I shoulda mentioned cats sooner

-it’s always cats, isn’t it?

Always

-If you’re in Seattle, you should perhaps go to bed

Man don’t tell me how to spend my vacation lol

-never!

-you’re just planning a sexual encounter and neither of us are exactly spring chickens lol

Man fuck you

-That’s the plan. Unless you want it the other way?

JFC

😂😂😂🥵🥵🥵

[haleyhunwritess]

Anxiety Attacks

A/N: I just wanted to write a little blurb since I know this is a stressful time of the year for a lot of people, especially for those who suffer with anxiety, depression, etc. I hope this little blurb brings a smile to your face even for a bit. As usual, please show some love and support if you can and reblog, comment, and like❤️❤️🥺 Also if any of you ever needs someone to talk to or vent to then i’m always here<3

Warnings: Talk of anxiety, anxiety attacks, crying, LOTS OF FLUFF

Pairings: Steve x reader

It had been a rough week, and today hadn’t been any better. No matter how hard you tried, it felt like you couldn’t get anything done right. You’d been feeling off all week, but you didn’t really understand why. You didn’t wanna ruin or bother anyone else, especially Steve. He’d been so understanding and caring ever since he found out you have anxiety attacks every now and then. You decided that you didn’t wanna be a bother to anyone today so you pretended to be okay and carried on as normal. However as soon as you walked out of your room, you could tell your anxiety was starting to get worse when you felt the all-too-familiar symptoms of an anxiety attack. You had to try and calm yourself down somehow before it got any worse. You decided to make yourself some tea while waiting for Steve to come back with dinner. While deep in your thoughts, you accidentally knocked one of Steve’s cups over. You stared down at the broken pieces of the cup as the tears began to surface, the same tears that you’d been trying to keep at bay all week were now rolling down your cheeks despite how your hard you were trying to hold them back.

Just then Steve walked into the kitchen with a bag of takeout from your favourite restaurant “Here b- Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I-I broke a c-cup…I broke it…I…” You couldn’t hold in sobs any longer and started bawling your eyes infront of him, “I know it was your favourite…I’m so sorry, I’m sorry…I…”

He quickly put the bag of food down on the table and walked over to you. He picked you up and gently lowered you onto the counter. He took your hands in his and looked at you with a worried expression on his face.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t worry, you’re okay. Try to focus on my breathing, okay? Okay big breath in come on 1…2…3… and out…” He helped you focus on your breathing to calm you down. After he found out about your anxiety, he researched how to prevent or stop anxiety attacks such as this one. He learned that one of the biggest things that would help you calm down is focusing on your breathing. Once he felt like you were able to breathe normally again, he helped you off the counter carefully, wiping your tears away before raising his arms up for you to jump into.

“Come here, love. It’s okay, it’s alright. You’re gonna be okay, everything is gonna be okay. It was just a cup, you’re more important, love. It was just an accident, it’s alright.” You jumped into his arms quickly, and turned into a sobbing mess once again, finally able to let go of all the emotions you were holding in.

“This isn’t about just a cup is it, bubs?” Steve whispered, with his arms wrapped tightly around you.

“I…I had the worst day ever…and the worst week ever. It was just one thing after another today and I’m just so tired, and everything hurts, and I just…I…” Steve shushed you as you started to cry harder just thinking about how awful your day was.

“I know…I know it hurts, bubba, but it’s okay I’m here, we’ll figure this out together. I’m right here, bubba.” He whispered, kissing your forehead. “Come on, we can go eat dinner in bed and watch a movie. It’ll help distract your mind for a bit and then we can cuddle all night. Does that sound good, love?”

“Yes, it sounds wonderful. Thank you, Steve.” You smiled at him, kissing his cheek.

He spent the entire evening trying to make you laugh in attempt to distract you. He started telling you stories about the 40’s and how he used to get into a lot of fights, and how often Bucky would have to come and help him. With how much you were laughing, for a moment you actually forgot how bad you were feeling earlier. You knew you’d be alright, maybe not right now but eventually it was all going to be okay.

#steve x reader #steve fluff #steve rogers fic #steve rogers #anxiety fic #steve x anxious!reader #marvel fic #steve fic

[futuremrsdrcullen]

Aren't We Just Terrified - Part Three

Part Three of the New Moon reader insert fic that I've been promising for FAR far too long.

Summery- The idea of facing mortal danger just to see a ghost of him almost sounded rational here.

I watched as Bella hugged her chest to keep herself whole. I stood by as she chased adrenaline for the smallest glimpse of Edward.

I didn’t feel perfect- standing there didn’t heal me. I let out a small humorless laugh and shook my head accepting that I couldn’t keep pretending that there was never a wound in the first place.

Word Count- 18,067

Warnings- This is New Moon, so it's a lot darker than the first. IF YOU HAVEN'T READ I'm Always in This Twilight READ THAT FIRST!! Depression, abandonment, misunderstandings, break ups, Age gaps because of vampires, angst! It's very angsty, but it gets better! I promise it has a very happy ending.

Notes from me- My name is Claire and this is my second love child. I have finally finished my version of New Moon and I could not be more excited for you guys to see it.

This is book 2 of probably 5 so stayed tuned for the rest of them.

I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

Read on AO3 <3

Part one <3 Part Two <3 Masterlist <3

Thank you for being here, I Love you <3

Aren't We Just Terrified - Part Three

There sat Carlisle’s car. 

It was his car. I knew it was. I knew that car as well as my own.

He could be in there, waiting for me. I blinked back tears until I saw Dad's headlights. I could be crying when Dad got here, we had just lost a family friend. I got out of the car and turned off Bella’s. He shut the passenger door of the truck as I ran around to hug him fiercely.

“I’m so sorry Dad.” I really needed him right then just as much as he needed me. They were completely different reasons, and he didn’t know mine, but the fact remained.

“It’s hard to believe.” He sighed into my hair but his hug didn’t loosen. I nodded and he turned, one arm still wrapped around me. He pulled me to the door right as Bella ran out. She said the same apologies. She asked about Sue and the kids, though we knew as well as anyone how hard this would be all around. 

Dad’s other arm went around Bella and we walked towards the door.

“Uhm, Dad?” She hesitated. My chest tightened. “You’ll never guess who’s here.”

He turned quickly back to the car by the road like it hadn’t hit before that moment it was even there. I desperately looked at Bella, who was looking at the front door. I swiftly diverted my eyes to the ground beneath my feet. I couldn’t, wouldn’t look at whoever was standing there. I didn’t wanna know. 

I locked my eyes on a worm that was wiggling in a puddle. I begged it to hold my attention. 

“Hi, Charlie, Y/n,” Her voice was soft and subdued. “I’m sorry I came at such a bad time.”

“Alice Cullen?” I laughed, I wanted to roll my eyes, but I didn’t want to risk moving them from the worm. He didn’t sound like he actually believed she was there. “Alice, is that you?”

“It’s me.” She confirmed. “I was in the neighborhood.”

“Is Carlisle…?” His arm tightened around me, though I knew he was mostly asking about Edward. I still said nothing. I named the worm Jerry. I was entirely dependent on Jerry right now.

“No, I’m alone.”

I finally looked at her. She was here alone. Did he even know she was here? I couldn’t ask. I scanned her features hoping to find some kind of truth there. She was still so beautiful. She hadn’t changed at all, but she wouldn’t have I guess. Her eyes were dark, almost black.

I tried to soften as she looked at me. She wasn’t evil.

No, she and her family just left Bella and I to suffer for 6 months. I shivered and tore my eyes away and back to Jerry, who was wiggling his way to the mud. I wished he’d take me with him. Instead we headed inside. I still said nothing.

“There’s dinner for you on the table,” She looked between me and Dad.

“Thanks, Bells.” He shuffled into the kitchen and I followed the girls into the living room. They sat on the couch and I couldn’t bring my feet much further than the doorway. Alice pulled Bella to her and she rested her head on her shoulder.

“You look tired.” Alice whispered.

“Yeah… Near death experiences do that to me…”

“I’m sorry, what?” I raised my eyebrows at her as she turned to glance at me.

“I’m okay! Just went cliff jumping, and with the storm… Turns out I’m not as good a swimmer as I thought.  Jake saved me. It’s fine.”

“You could have died, Bella.”

“I know-” she tried.

“And you still have a fresh tattoo, by the way.” I added

It was Alice’s turn to be shocked, her brows furrowed and she shook her head once. “Tattoo?”

“It’s been more than a week. It’s probably fine.” She rolled her eyes but we couldn’t help, but chuckle softly. Bella pulled up her sleeve and showed Alice her tattoo. “Look, I got the day I started at Forks High, and Y/n got flowers from-” I crossed the room quickly and covered her mouth with my hand.

I spoke loudly over her. “So! Alice, what does Carlisle think about you being here?” I almost winced when I noticed this was the first time I’d said his name aloud since he left.

“He doesn't know. He and some of the others were out  on a hunting trip. I’m sure I’ll hear from him as soon as he gets back.” 

“You won’t tell him though… when he checks in again?” Bella sounded distant somehow.

“No he’d bite my head off.” Alice said grimly

Bella almost laughed; she just pressed closer to Alice instead. Her arms were tight, like she was certain if she let go, Alice would disappear again. She clung to her the way she held her own chest together. It broke my heart to watch.

I saw Bella’s eyes slowly starting to close and said “Get some rest Bells,”

“I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

As soon as Bella was snoring I started, “I should go-”

“I don’t know what Carlisle will do when he finds out I'm here, but I imagine he’ll catch the first plane to seattle.” She spoke softly. I just nodded.

“Thanks for the warning.”

“He hates this, Y/n. He hates that we left, and he hates that he hurt you. He never wanted to leave in the first place.”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and blinked a few times. I felt the tears that fell, despite my efforts. “But he did.” my voice shook, I didn’t give her time to respond.

I went upstairs as fast as my feet would carry me and collapsed into my bed. Yet, I don't think I slept an ounce.

~~

I stayed attached to Dad a lot after the day Harry passed, and Alice returned. I went with him to the Clearwaters everyday. They planned a funeral as I avoided my problems. Though I think Leah enjoyed my company. I think I helped her hide from her problems as well. The obvious one, and the potential werewolf transformation. Though I didn’t know if girls could be werewolves. I didn’t ask.

If Carlisle did come back, I wouldn’t know what to say, so I’d be there. Not that I really thought he would come back. If he came back with his perfect hair and stunning smile and stupid loveable face, I would be here and he wouldn’t be able to find me, not that I thought he would try.

By the morning of the funeral I was no longer surprised to see Alice sitting at the table ‘sharing’ a coffee with my dad. She wasn’t drinking it, but she put on a good show. Dad’s suit fit him well. He looked very nice, despite the gravity of the situation. 

I told him I would meet him there. He was going early to set up and I didn’t want, nor need to be there for 6 extra hours.

Bella was cleaning. I think she just wanted to make Dad's life easier. Alice was hanging around, wherever Bella went, so did Alice. They talked about school and old classmates. Alice talked about how Jasper started school, and mentioned how Carlisle is teaching classes at Cornell. I tried to imagine him as a professor, but I felt heat reach my cheeks and changed the subject before she could hear my heart rate spike.

“Do you think he’ll really come back?” I asked.

She nodded. “I know he will. I’m a little surprised I haven’t heard or seen anything yet. I do know he’ll get back from his hunting trip today, but that’s all I’ve been able to see so far.” If he wasn’t back, he didn’t know she was here and couldn’t make the decision to fly out here. She couldn’t see how it would play out until he decided.

If you had asked me 6 months ago, before they left, I think I would have believed he would fly out, but now? I didn’t feel like I knew him at all. “I genuinely have no idea what to say to him, if he does come.” I looked to my feet and crossed my arms. I didn’t like the way not knowing made me feel. Like at any moment a literal vampire was going to leap from the shadows and grab me. Sure I probably should have worried about that with Victoria, but I’d probably be dead before I noticed her, so I didn’t.

She almost looked confused. “Have you… I’ve seen you at the house.” I matched her expression, equally as confused but nodded. “Did you go into his office?”

Oh no , I sighed. “I never got that far. I got to the living room, but left after… that.” I chose to leave out the panic attack. She probably knew all about that anyway.

“I think you should see what's in there. I don’t really know what it is, but I think it might help you heal.”

Then the doorbell rang and Alice looked more confused than I felt. I decided I would try to go after the funeral. If I couldn’t get all the way to his office then I’d just wait for him to be here. I winced, the idea of him here still feeling impossible.

I would have panicked if Alice didn’t respond. “Bella, I have a fairly good guess who that might be, and I think I should step out.

Not Carlisle… Probably Jacob.

“Guess?” 

“If this is a repeat of my egregious lapse in foresight yesterday, then it’s most likely Jacob Black, or one of his… friends.”

Bella stared at her, mouth parted just slightly. “You can’t see werewolves?”

She grimaced. “So it would seem.” I could tell just how much this annoyed her. I made no effort to answer the door, even as it rang twice more. I did roll my eyes at him.

“You don’t have to go anywhere, Alice. You were here first.”

“I don’t think that’s a good-” I did not want a supernatural brawl in my living room. 

Alice agreed, cutting me off. “Trust me- It wouldn’t be a good idea to have me and Jacob Black in a room together.”

She kissed Bella’s cheek swiftly before she vanished. I wondered if she’d be back before I left for the funeral. Or if she’d hear from Carlisle while she was gone. 

Bella did actually go to answer the door the next time it rang. I followed slowly behind her, just in case it wasn’t Jacob. I knew it was, based purely on the incessant doorbell ringing, but I just wanted to be sure. Once I got close enough I could hear how stressed he was and how annoyed Bella was and I decided it was best to stay back.

“She’s not here. Do you need something?”

He hesitated. “You're here alone?”

“Not alone.” I called from behind her and waved once. “Hi Jacob.”

I didn’t miss when Bella rolled her eyes at him. I also noticed that he brought his friends and they were waiting in the car outside. I chuckled, but he kept his eyes on Bella.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course you can, Jacob. Come on in.”

She held the door open for him and I moved to take my leave. “I’ll go… do the dishes… If you need me. Kay?” I laid a comforting hand on her shoulder as I walked by. She bit her lip and nodded, clearly calmer knowing I wouldn’t be far, and they moved to the living room. He said something sarcastic to her and I decided it would be best to stay out of it.

It would only make things worse if I punched him, even if he deserved it. There weren't any dishes to do. I turned the water on and let it run for a moment, just to aid my story. I washed the one coffee mug in the sink and put away the clean dishes that were on the drying rack. 

Admitting defeat, I turned the sink back off. I really didn’t want to eavesdrop. I resorted to making coffee. I only had one cup this morning anyway. I hoped the brewing would be loud enough to cover they’re conversation. I leaned against the counter and watched it brew.

I heard Bella marching into the kitchen, her tone thick with annoyance. “Well, run along now. Go tell Sam that the scary monsters aren't coming to get you.”

“Okay,” His voice was calm and collected somehow, despite her teasing. I didn’t add that we didn’t know they weren’t coming back. Or that Carlisle was almost definitely coming back, according to Alice. But when she walked into the kitchen he didn’t follow, though I didn’t hear him leave. She leaned against the counter next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. For a long moment she didn’t move. The room felt so still.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek before I even knew it was there. I didn’t know how to comfort her. Surely, Alice being back didn’t mean Bella and Jake Couldn’t still be friends. Then I felt her tears soak my sweater sleeve, and I knew he had made that ultimatum.

Stupid supernatural drama…

“Bella…?” Jacob asked in a troubled voice. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“Did what?” Her voice cracked.

“Broke my promise. Sorry”

“S’okay,” she mumbled “I started it this time.”

His face twisted. I’m sure mine did the same. The want to punch him rising again. I hated how easily he could hurt her; I just kissed her forehead and made my way out to the front porch grabbing a pen as I went.

They needed privacy and I needed air. Also time to process the idea that Carlisle might actually come back. I missed him. I missed him so much and there was a healing feeling in letting myself admit that.

I’d spent almost as much time missing him as we had spent together. I had loved him, trusted him, more than anyone before. I still love him, and yet there was this painful hole where he used to exist. 

The idea of seeing him now filled me with something akin to excitement or anger or fear, so much so that I was scared to even unpack it all. I had just gotten used to seeing Alice again. I had to get through the funeral. Then maybe I could sit down and evaluate my feelings. Or fall apart, which seemed more likely. I wrote ‘the hours before a funeral’ on the back of my hand.

I could almost hear the phone ring, but it stopped quickly and I figured Bella got it. Then I heard yelling and moved to go back inside and I felt the tell-tale sign of a vampire running past, the door barely even swinging behind Alice as she rushed in. 

By the time I could get in there Bella was on the couch. Her eyes were squeezed tight and she was leaning against Jacob for support. 

“What did you do to her?” He hardly sounded in control.

Alice didn’t seem to notice him at all. “Bella? Bella, snap out of it. We have to hurry.”

“What?” no one seemed to notice me either.

“Stay back.”

“Calm down Jacob Black,” Alice ordered. “You don’t want to do that so close to her.” 

“I don’t think I’ll have any problem keeping my focus.” He gained a small amount of composure, though his threat was made clear.

“Uhm guys… Is anyone going to tell me what’s hap-”

Bella pulled together and finished my question, “What happened?”

“I don’t know!” Alice cried in response “What is he thinking?”

“Who? What is going on?” I looked to Bella who looked at Alice then to Jacob expecting them to have an answer. Jacob said nothing and Alice reached in her bag to pull out a cell phone.

“Rose, I need to talk to Carlisle, Now”  She talked fast and hushed. “Great… of course he is. Is there a chance he could still call? No, I’ll be on a plane. Look, have you heard anything from Edward?”

She paused waiting for her to answer, her face got more and more concerned and angry with every word Rosalie spoke. I watched the phone shake in her hand. Something was very very wrong. I held my breath.

“Why?” she gasped. “Why would you do that, Rosalie?” More than anything I wished I had vampire hearing. I wanted to know what she had done to make Alice act this way. “Well you’re wrong on both counts, though, Rosalie, so that would be a problem, don’t you think? Yeah that’s right. She’s absolutely fine- I was wrong… It’s a long story… but you’re wrong about that part too, that’s why I’m calling… Yes, that’s exactly what I saw.”

My head was spinning trying to keep up. I tried to decipher what was going on, but still came up short. Alice looked more angry than I’d ever seen her, it was almost frightening. “It’s a bit late for that, Rose. save your remorse for someone who believes it.” Alice snapped the phone shut with a sharp twist of her fingers.

I rushed to Bella’s side and grabbed her hand. Alice looked like she was in pain, like she didn’t want to say what she had to say next. My own chest tightened. 

“Alice,” Bella got her name out before Alice could speak “Alice, Carlisle is back though.”

This time I cut her off, “Back where?”

“From his hunting trip… He called just a minute ago.”

Alice stared blankly at Bella, “How long ago?”

“Half a minute before you showed up.”

Her eyes went wide and she looked more focused. “What did he say?”

“I didn’t talk to him.” Bella’s eyes flicked to Jacob.

“ You answered the phone in my  house…” Oooh I really wanted to punch him “It was Carlisle, and you didn’t let me talk to him?” My voice shook.

“He didn’t ask for you,” I was going to punch him. Bella squeezed my hand and pulled me back. “He asked for Charlie, and I told him Charlie wasn’t here.” Jacob muttered resentfully.

“Is that everything?” Alice demanded, I shivered at her tone. I really wanted her to punch him, that would at least do damage.

“Then he hung up on me?” Jacob spat back. He was still shaking. I’m sure I was too. This was a mess.

“You told him Charlie was at the funeral,”  Bella reminded him.

Alice jerked her head back to Bella “What were his exact words.”

“He said, ‘He’s not here,’ and When Carlisle asked where Charlie was, Jacob said ‘at the funeral’”

Alice moaned and fell to her knees. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn’t know how. I wanted to throw my arms around Bella and never let go. I was panicking.

“Tell me Alice,” Bella whispered.

“That wasn’t Carlisle on the phone,” she said hopelessly 

“Are you calling me a liar?” Jacob demanded, losing a bit of control again. I huffed out a sarcastic laugh.

Alice ignored him and locked her color-drained eyes on Bella.

“It was Edward… He thinks you’re dead.” As she said his name I felt the color drain from my face. My hand covered my mouth as it fell open. Edward thought Bella was dead. I started to cry behind my hand.

But Bella seemed almost relieved? “Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn’t she?”

“Yes,” Alice admitted. Oh my god… how was Bella okay right now? “In her defense, she did believe it. They rely on my sight far too much for something that works so imperfectly. But for her to track him down to tell him this! Didn’t she realize…”

“Or care…” I added, absolutely horror stricken.

“And when Edward called here, he thought Jacob meant my funeral,” She was gripping Jacob’s arm and my hand like they were the only things keeping her alive. He didn’t flinch and I held on just as tight.

Alice and I shared a glance, unsure how to approach this conversation. She clearly wasn’t seeing the big picture. “You’re not upset,” Alice whispered.

“Well, it’s really rotten timing, but it will all get straightened out. The next time he calls, someone will tell him… what… really…” Bella trailed off, like what she was saying was finally dawning on her. I could see the questions flash in her mind.

“Bella,” Alice whispered. “Edward won’t call again. He believed her.”

“I. Don’t. Understand.” She didn’t actually say anything. It was like a whisper of a word that she had to force out.

“He’s going to Italy.”

I felt more tears fall. My heart felt like it was going to cave in. Dumb, over dramatic, teenagers; He was going to get himself killed because he believed she was dead. How stupidly Romeo and Juliette of him.

“NO!” Bella half-shrieked, though I think it was still hard for her to form words. It made us all jump. “No! No, no, no! He can’t! He can’t do that!”

He made up his mind as soon as your friend confirmed that it was too late to save you.” That’s why she came rushing back, she saw him choose death.

“But he… he left! He didn’t want me anymore! What difference does it make now?”

My chest tightened again and I was sure it was going to cave in soon. I had to admit she had a solid point. They didn’t care enough to stay, why would it matter to them that she had died. Maybe he blamed himself, I kind of wanted him to blame him myself.

“I don’t think he ever planned to outlive you by long,” Alice said quietly.

“How dare he!” Bella rose to her feet trying to push a still trembling Jacob out of her way. She dropped my hand. She was desperate and scared and so angry. She begged “What do we do? Can’t we call him? Can Carlisle?”

“Carlisle isn’t back.” I tried to answer for Alice, she shook her head.

“He got back but he’s on a plane.” She left off where he was heading but my chest tightened anyway. “That was the first thing I tried. Edward left his phone in a trash can in Rio- Someone answered it…” she was still so quiet.

“You said before we had to hurry. Hurry how? Let’s do it, whatever it is!”

“Bella…”

“Bella, I-I don’t think I can ask you to…” 

“Ask me!” Bella demanded. I really wished she wouldn’t, because whatever it is, I could tell it would be bad; I knew Bella would do it. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Alice placed her hands on Bella’s shoulders, I didn’t know if it was to steady her or to just keep her. “We may already be too late. I saw him going to the Volturi… and asking to die.” We all flinched, except Jacob, who didn’t seem like he minded all that much. “It all depends on what they choose. I can’t see that till they make a decision.

“But if they say no, and they might- Aro is fond of Carlisle, and wouldn’t want to offend him- Edward has a back up plan. They are very protective of their city. If Edward does something to upset the peace, he thinks they’ll act to stop him. He’s right. They will.”

My head was spinning, tears flowing freely at this point. Though Bella still looked terrified, she stood her ground. I knew there would be no chance of her changing her mind. She was going to Italy. 

Alice continued, “So if they grant his favor, we’re too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we’re too late. If he gives in to his more theatrical tendencies… we might have time.”

“Let’s go!” 

“Bella, please-” I tried to grab her hand again, but she brushed me off.

“Listen, Bella! Whether we are on time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi city. I will be considered his accomplice if he is successful. You will be a human who not only knows too much, but also smells too good. There’s a very good chance that they will eliminate us all- though in your case it won’t be punishment so much as dinnertime.”

I cringed again. She might not come back from this; more so than last time. If she came back at all, she could be a vampire, and wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near people. This could be the last time I ever see my sister as the girl I know her as. 

And she was willing to go, right now- with or without Alice. 

“Tell me what I need to do!”

“You write a note to Charlie. I’ll call the airlines.”

Bella and I both lost our breaths again. “Charlie,”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to Charlie … Or Y/n.” He was still so angry he was shaking. “Screw the treaty.”

“Y/n, can you tell him?”

“No,” I shook my head. I almost laughed, but my chest hurt too much. “No, I will not tell our father, who is grieving his best friend, that his daughter left for Italy on a suicide mission to save her boyfriend from getting himself killed. Sorry, but I can’t do that to him, not right now.”

Her face softened, “I understand. A note will have to work.” She did sound understanding.

“Hurry, Bella.” They all broke off, leaving me alone on the couch. 

I brought my knees to my chest and rested my forehead on them. I didn’t even know where to begin to process. Everything that I’d been feeling since they left bubbling to the surface and threatening to tear me apart. 

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, I couldn’t even cry. 

I tried to focus on the sounds around me. Alice and Jacob arguing, Bella running up the stairs. The room was spinning, but I managed to get to my feet. I got next to Alice and she let me lean against her for support. I knew she would have to go as soon as Bella was ready, but I used her cold skin against mine to ground myself. 

“Argue when we get back, let’s go!”

Alice kissed my head and pulled back. I could stand on my own two feet again, knowing I didn’t have time to fall apart right now. 

I grabbed Bella’s hand. “Bella,”

“I have to-”

“I know, just… Be safe, okay? Come home.” She nodded a few times then picked up her bag. I turned, pointing to Alice, “and You. Bring her home. Whatever it takes.”

She nodded too, “I’ll try very hard.” I could tell she meant it. “Carlisle will be in tonight, but I don’t know when. He hasn’t decided what to do when he gets here.” She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly, before swinging me to Bella.

“I’ll be at the funeral. I’ll deal with that when I have time.” I hugged Bella with all the strength I had left and whispered. “I love you.”

She hugged me just as hard. “I love you.” when she pulled back our eyes met. I didn’t want to say goodbye and I could tell she didn’t either. I just nodded sharply and kissed her head and let her go. 

She stepped back and towards the door, Jacob stepped up to make his plea, but I couldn’t hear them over the ringing in my head. I took a page out of Bella’s book and wrapped my arms around my chest to hold myself together.

The engine to Carlisle’s car revved and Bella took off, still shouting back at Jacob.

“Take care of Charlie!” I think it was meant for Jacob, but he was already running off. I nodded. Then she stepped on the gas, the tires screeching in protest. 

And they were gone. 

I stared after them, but they were gone faster than I could keep up. Jacob’s discarded shoes hadn’t even hit the ground. He had shifted and ran off in the other direction.

I had to remember how to breathe.

Dad, my poor, sweet Dad had only just lost his best friend and now his daughter was very likely going to her death.

I’d probably have to be the one to tell him, so no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t break down yet. I didn’t even know where I’d begin. I’d let him read the note. I’d wait to hear if she was alive- human or otherwise- and then I’d start from the beginning. If she died, he deserved to know exactly how.

I’d spend every single second, hoping she’d come home, vampire or not.

But first, the funeral.

I had to get ready to meet Dad on the reservation in an hour. The funeral started in two. I couldn’t help but wonder where they’d be by then. I googled flight patterns to Italy. It would be at least 12 hours before they would land in Italy and it was only noon.

I had a very long night ahead of me.

~~

I showered, I got dressed, I attended the funeral of a man who had a hand in raising me, and I pretended to be okay. If I couldn’t do anything else, at least I could hold myself together for Dad. Bella never planned to be here, so luckily he didn’t ask about her. I wanted to tell him, he needed to know, but she left a note, and he didn’t need me unloading the family drama… not right now.

Everyone had already started to head home. Dad and I had stayed later than most, like we had all week. Billy and Sam stayed too, though Jacob left first. If Dad didn’t tell me, I probably wouldn’t have known he was here at all. He came in, paid his respects, then left just as quickly.

I knew the hurt he felt. We may never see Bella again, and there was nothing we could do about it. Except pretend nothing was wrong. It wasn’t easy.

A shiver shot through me. Everything got too loud, the world started spinning. I stepped out to breathe and collect my thoughts. This impending panic attack couldn’t happen here.

I wasn’t outside long before Sam came out too. I was leaning against the wall, my face in my hands.He didn’t say anything for a long moment. I pushed back the tears that were trying to break free before turning to face him. His eyes were soft when they found mine.

“Y/n… I’m-” he started.

“I know. Me too.”

There was another moment of silence before he spoke again. “It’s been a crazy couple of days…”

I couldn’t help but laugh softly, “Just a little.”

“Everytime things calm down, something else goes just so, so wrong.” He was laughing now too. Nothing about any of this was funny, but it was all the energy we had left.

“God it’s so bad.”

He still smiled as he said, “The pack is having a bonfire tonight. For Harry, and the Clearwaters. You could come, if you wanted.”

I shook my head. “I’ll need to be home. Dad doesn’t know Bella’s gone yet. I wouldn’t want to leave him alone tonight.” I winced, the last bit of humor completely faded.

“Do you…” He looked troubled. I could tell he didn’t want to add to my stress, but he asked anyway. “I know Bella said they weren’t, but now, I don’t know. Are they coming back?”

“Carlisle is. I’ll have to talk to him at some point.” I looked at my shoes. “He might not even stay. I don’t think the others will but… but maybe… Hell, I don’t even know that Bella is coming back.” I trembled again, wishing I could give him the answers he wanted. Maybe knowing would make me feel a little less hopeless.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed and ran a hand through his damp hair. “But I hope they don’t”

I almost laughed again. “That’s fair, I guess. I don’t have the energy to stress about it now.” I pressed off of the wall and started to drift back inside. He caught my arm.

“If you need anything. You or Charlie. If anything happens-”

I cut him off again, “I’m sure you’ll hear about it rather quickly.” I mustered some strength to pull my arm back and went inside. I didn’t need nor want any more of this wolf-y bullshit. 

I just wanted to go home. 

It was eight o’clock and all the adrenaline from this morning was completely gone. I had nothing left. Dad could tell.

“You can go home honey. I’m gonna be here a while still to help clean up.” I just nodded. He kissed the top of my head and I drifted back out. 

As soon as I was behind the wheel I knew I wasn’t going straight home. I found the house like it was second nature. I hoped, if he was here, he wouldn’t notice me pull in. I wanted a few more seconds to pull myself together. Outwardly, nothing had changed. For a second I thought maybe my instincts were wrong. Maybe he wasn’t back, but then I noticed the porch light was on.

~~

Carlisle’s Point of View

It didn’t take me long to get home, though it felt like days. I was looking at flights as soon as Rosalie had mentioned her name. I think I would have flown home soon anyway. 

I needed to see her. 

It was clear that someone had been here. The driveway wasn’t completely reclaimed by nature. All of the lights were off, but the power still flowed and they came on when I tried the switch. 

I pulled my car into the garage and shut it behind me. I didn’t know where to begin. I couldn’t just rush to her door, despite how desperately I wanted to.

I’d almost hoped she’d be here when I got here, but I hadn’t heard anything from her at all. She could absolutely hate me.

I couldn’t blame her, if she did.

The front door was unlocked. There was a small chance Alice had left it unlocked, but I doubted Alice would have used the front door and not her room access. Everything in the house was still covered in dust. The sheets hadn’t been moved.

Nothing had changed at all. A sinking feeling washed over me. There weren't recent footprints in the dust on the floor. She hadn’t been here in months. There was only one chair uncovered, but now it too, was dusty. Then the footprints led back outside.

I rushed up to my office. There was no evidence at all that she had even started to move this way, but I had to hope. I had to see for myself that she hadn’t. The door was still shut. My hand hesitated just above the knob. All of my senses were screaming that she wasn’t in there and yet when I yanked the door open I expected to see her.

But the office was exactly like I had left it.

Everything.

The letter, the money, the plane tickets. They all sat in the very same spot I’d put them 6 months ago. Dusty, and in the exact same spot.

She had never been here. She had no idea that I left this for her to find. She had spent this whole time believing that I had just abandoned her. Panic rose in my throat so high I thought I’d choke on it.

Quickly, I checked the clock. It was only a quarter past eight. She’d probably be awake. Probably about to head to work, though she might have taken time off for Harry Clearwaters death. I didn’t have time to think it through. I’d get to town and track her if I had to. I just had to explain everything. I didn’t expect her to forgive me.

I couldn’t even really forgive myself. How could I just trust that she would find this. I should have been more throughout. Edward and Alice’s opinion be damned. I should have just taken her with me.

If it would have saved her months of this pain.

I collected the papers and ran towards the front door. I glanced at the footprints again and felt my chest tighten. She had been here, and she found nothing. I had hurt her again and she’d left.

If nothing else, I had to see her. I had to see that she was okay. I had to give her this closure.

I swung open the front door.

~~

Y/n’s Point of View

I didn't think.

Gravity pulled me toward the front door. I walked as quickly as my feet would carry me. I would have ran, but I knew I would have fallen. I paused on the front porch to take a deep breath.

I didn’t know for sure he was here. I still hoped he wouldn’t notice me. Also it was entirely possible Alice had left the porch light on. Either way, Alice told me to go into his office. I just had to convince myself I could get in the front door.

I think my heart actually stopped when the front door opened.

I hadn’t really planned this far ahead. I didn’t know what to say and I completely froze. There he stood. Beautiful, golden, there- Actually right there. 

Over 100 times since he left I pictured what this very moment would look like, but not once did I think of what I would say.

I looked into his golden eyes. They were so bright and liquid, somehow. It would have taken my breath away, if I had been breathing. I just gaped at him. I saw the worry in his features and winced as my name left his lips and I had the strength to look away from his gaze. I silently prayed for Jerry to wiggle his way out of the ground at this exact moment. 

“you…” I took a shaky deep breath. “You left.”

“Y/n, I tried…”

“No. You left, Carlisle. I… I was in love with you and you left. I waited for it to be a nightmare. I kept waiting to wake up, but I didn’t because you really left.”

“Please, Y/n. I deserve everything you could say to me and worse. I just want you to know that I never intended to abandon you.”

“But you did.” my voice was broken and I couldn’t pull my eyes back to his face.

“I know…” He sounded so broken. He sighed and took the smallest step forward. I couldn’t even flinch away, not that I really wanted to. “God, Y/n. I’m sorry. I’m so truly sorry. I know that ‘sorry’ isn’t enough. I thought I left enough clues. I wanted you to find me.”

“What?” That made my eyes snap up. “How?”

“I asked you at the restaurant to take care of my plants. I just wanted you to find this…” he held an envelope out to me. I stared at it and shook my head. I couldn’t bring myself to take it.  He didn’t move. “There’s a letter explaining everything. The reason why I left the way I did, my plans moving forward. My new phone number, everything you would need to find me is in here.

“I thought if you made the decision to follow, Alice and Edward wouldn’t have the right to stop you. I had no idea you wouldn’t go in.”

“Alice…” I tried. She would have known, right?

“They refused to give me any information on what would happen when we left. They swore it was for the best. It’s not an excuse. I am fully capable of making my own decisions and I honestly believed it would be better for Bella if we left, but I wanted to give you the choice.”

I shook my head again. I didn’t try to stop the tears or wipe them away. “All of this was here? This… this whole time?” He nodded and I winced, more tears falling. “Fuck…”

He almost laughed, he almost took another step closer to me. I looked at his face and I could see the hesitation there. I was thankful for it. Despite how desperately I wanted to fling myself into his arms, I knew I needed time.

I raised my hand and felt the paper as he placed it in my palm. It was really dusty, as if to mock me that it was really here the whole time.

“I… I need time.” I could heal. I was already healing. “I need to read this and I need to hear from Bella.”

“I understand.” His voice was soft. 

“Shit… These are your kids, Carlisle. I’m so sorry.”

“She’s your sister. This isn’t easy for either of us. I’ll call you if I hear anything.” I nodded, watching his pained expression soften. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here until you tell me to go.”

I nodded again. Looking at the papers in my hand. I knew I wouldn’t have the strength to leave if I looked at him again, but his eyes never left my face.

I turned on my heels and walked back to my car. 

He stayed on the porch as I pulled out of the driveway.

I just went home.

~~

Dad was still up when I got home. I braced myself as I walked in the front door. 

As soon as I opened the door, his desperate voice called from the kitchen, “Bella?”

“It’s just me, Dad.” I almost heard him sigh, but the sound was covered by a crack of a beer can opening. I walked into the kitchen, still clutching the envelope from  Carlisle.

“What the hell is she thinking?” I leaned against the door frame and let him rant. “She’s just gonna go running back to him? What kind of trouble is he in that would justify this?” He pointed to the note on the table. I tried not to focus on the tear stains on it. “He didn’t come running back when she was half dead.”

“He didn’t know how bad she got.” I tried.

“Bull… whatever. Nothing I can do about it now. She won’t even answer my calls.” he took a long drink from his can. “What’s that?” he nodded towards the paper in my hand.

“A letter from Carlisle-”

He threw his hands up. “Fucking great…” he let out a humorless laugh. “What’s he got to say?”

I almost laughed too, “I uhm… I haven’t read it yet. It’s from before they left, apparently it was at their old house the whole time…” I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or cry, or if I would be able to stop if I started either action. I bit my lip to distract myself.

I think he read my inner monologue “I’m sorry, honey. I know these last few days have been awful for you. You can go read that if you want, or you can take a seat and have a beer if you don’t. It can wait another day, if you need more time.”

“I don’t think I can wait another day.” I smiled softly and walked over to him. I placed a kiss on his cheek and hugged his shoulders. “I’ll let you know if I hear from them. You should get some rest.”

He returned my hug and grabbed my hand as I pulled away. “I’ll try here in a bit… Thank you for being such a good kid.”

I did laugh at that. “Hey! I was kinda rebellious at times!” He just raised his eyebrows at me. “Okay, okay. She’s totally got me beat. She’ll come around.” Hopefully…

“Love ya kid.”

“Love you more.”

I drifted upstairs. Once my door was shut behind me, I looked at the letter again. I had to open it. I had to know what it was. I could tell that it was more than just a letter. It was very heavy and in kind of a large envelope, so unless it was just a very strongly worded letter, there had to be more. 

I sat at my desk, setting the papers on the desk in front of me. My legs wouldn’t stop shaking and I could tear my eyes away. I don’t know how long I sat there, but I heard Dad’s bedroom door shut and I felt confident that if I had to fall apart, I could. As long as Dad was asleep, I couldn’t add to his stress.

I slid my thumb under the edge. I laughed softly as I thought What if I got a paper cut right now? I had to take a second to let the giggling subside. Again I couldn’t tell why I was laughing, it wasn’t funny, but the irony was just too much.

Once I finally collected myself I reached into the envelope. I pulled out the first thing my fingers touched. The neatly folded piece of stationary was for sure the letter. Then there were the keys to Alice’s Prius, two open plane tickets to New york. I guess he wanted to give me the choice of a plus one. I guess if I brought Bella, Edward couldn’t be mad at him. Then I pulled out a stack of 100 dollar bills that made my eyes shoot open. I counted it quickly and there were 20, 100 dollar bills. I dropped it back to the desk like it was on fire.

Shock was setting in. He left me two plane tickets, a car, and 2000 dollars… My heart was racing. I knew that the answers to all of my questions were hidden in the letter, and I was out of ways to stall.

~~

Dearest Y/n,

I can’t begin to apologize for leaving you. There is nothing I could say that would make up for the hurt I may have caused. I never wanted to leave in the first place but Alice and Edward swore it was for the best. They promised me you would be alright.

I have to admit, Bella being the constant danger magnet that she is, I have to agree. She would be safer if we weren’t around. Bella, but not you.

I know that you are safe with me. I won’t completely turn a blind eye to the obvious dangers. If you were to become a vampire, those dangers would dissipate further. I am certain that even as an immortal Bella will still find some life threatening dangers.

It all boils down to your choice, Cara. Alice and Edward have decided that they know what is best, but I will never take away your right to choose for yourself.

I’ll hide my thoughts from Edward and think of something else while he’s around and I’ll leave the choice up to you so Alice won’t see the decision. By the time she does, no matter how you choose, it will be too late.

I will respect your choice. I will stay away until you are ready, even if you never are. I will welcome you here with open arms, if you choose to fly out, or I’ll catch the first flight back if you would prefer I come home.

We’ve changed our phone numbers. Mine is (#) if at any point you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach me.

The plane tickets are paid. Bring Bella or your father or anyone you like. Feel free to leave the car at the airport and I will pay for the extended parking, or just have it moved. 

Whatever you need is yours, Y/n. I will be waiting every second of every day to see you again. 

I am truly so sorry. If I had a say, I would have never left in the first place. I wish I could have just brought you with me, but again the choice is yours to make.

I want you to know how much I love you. I never thought I would find someone like you and I do not know what I’d be without you. I won’t stop missing you until we are together again.

My home, my heart, will stay with you. I love you.

~Carlisle Cullen.

~~

I held a shaky hand to my lips as I scanned the words over and over.

He loved me. He never wanted to leave and I had sat here for 6 months convinced he had abandoned me. He had left everything he could, just to make sure I could make my own choice.

I love him. I loved him before he left and I had missed him more than I was willing to admit. Now that he was back, I wanted nothing more than to forgive and forget and go running to him.

But so much hurt still lingered. 

Bella and Alice were running head first into a lion’s den to save Edward from himself.There was no way of knowing when, or if, they would come back. I couldn’t just pretend there wasn’t danger. 

Maybe Carlisle didn’t know how bad off we were, but Alice and Edward did. She would have seen what leaving would do to us and they left anyway. I was okay. I was a mess and my heart hadn’t even started to really heal from the worst heartbreak I’d ever experienced, but with time I could have pulled myself together. Even when Bella was ‘better’ she was still basically lifeless and they would have known.

Alice came back because she saw Bella throw herself off a cliff and thought that was completely plausible. Bella was that bad and they knew it. Edward believed it too, and they both chose to abandon her. 

My anger wasn’t with Carlisle, though there was some anger with him; He was a fully grown adult, who is capable of making his own choices, and chose to leave. I needed time, I could forgive and move on, but I needed time to do it.

I found my bed, though my legs threaten to give out underneath me. Once I hit the bed I was 100 percent okay with never moving again, but I felt my phone buzz. I blinked away the tears just so I could read the message.

TEXT MESSAGE FROM Unknown number

2:18am: Alice and Bella made it to Italy.

And then another

2:18am: This is Carlisle by the way.

I couldn’t bring myself to say much so I just shot back a quick ‘thanks’

2:19am: Of course. I will keep you up to date when I hear more. Let me know if you need anything at all.

I didn’t respond. I made the executive, adult, decision to just lock my phone screen. I rolled over and let myself fall apart.

I just cried myself to the edge of sleep.

~~

Updates were slow to come.

Well, it felt slow anyway. It was 9am before he heard from them again. He called me to update me that time. I almost didn’t answer; I was too scared.

“Y/n” his voice sounded relieved, like he could sense my hesitation. 

“Have you heard from them?” I didn’t mean to be so short. I hadn’t slept at all. After I read his letter I couldn’t stop spiraling, and the knowledge that my sister was running basically to her death kept my mind too busy for any genuine rest to happen.

“Miraculously they are on their way back to the airport.”

“They’re coming home?” I hadn’t dared hope.

“They are. Alice wasn’t able to go into much detail, but they got there in time to stop Edward. They just had to wait for the sun to go down before they could leave to catch a flight.” I could hear the relief in his voice. I wanted to hold him.

“They’re really alive.” I didn’t like how broken I still sounded.

“Yes. Alice said she’d explain exactly what happened once they were home. I’m… I’m going to meet them at the airport. I have to see them.” His resolve was breaking, even over the phone I could feel the hesitation. “I could swing by and pick you up before I go, If you wanted to be there as well.”

Every voice in my head was screaming at me to say yes. I wanted a quiet hour with him. I needed to see Bella to really know she was alive, but still I said “I think I should stay with my Dad. He’s pretty bent out of shape.” I could hear him impatiently flipping through the tv channels trying to find something to distract himself.

“I understand. Family is a powerful thing.” He was quiet for another moment. I wished I knew what he was thinking, or that I could get on the other side of this to be able to comfort him somehow. He started again “Y/n… Is there anything I can do?”

“Oh…” I was sure there were things he could do, I just didn’t know what. I didn’t know how to do any of this. “I read your letter.” The words came out before I could stop them.

“You did?”

“I’m not mad at you… Well, I am but I’m not. God, Carlisle, I don’t know how to do any of this.” I put my free hand to my face and laughed. “I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I can’t imagine what I put you through. I just wish I knew of a way to make things easier for you.”

“I know. Thank you for trying… Thank you for coming back.” I was crying again.

“Of course.” Then he just let me cry. And I cried for a while .

It was so comforting to know that he just stayed on the phone and let me cry. Slowly I ran out of tears.

“I’m… sorry. That was kinda a lot.” I chuckled.

“You’re perfectly fine.” He was soft and understanding and he chuckled under his breath. “You can take all the time you need.”

I nodded, though I knew he couldn’t see me. I peaked out my window and saw nothing but trees and rain. I tried to think of what to say, but I still came up short. I could hear Dad pacing downstairs and I didn’t know what to say to him either. I sighed. “I hate this…”

“I know. I wish I could make this right again. I wish I knew how.”

I was silent for another moment. “When Bella is home, and some of the dust settles, I’ll come over and we can work on this… Together.”

“Together.” I knew he was smiling. It made me smile too. 

We said our goodbyes. I layed back down on my bed and bit my lip. Sure, I needed to see Bella. I needed to see all of them home, with no intention of leaving again. I needed this to feel real.

We had a lot to work through, but after that, I think I could heal.

There was also a large part of me that didn’t want to wait.

I stalled most of the morning away. I showered, I even tried to write some, but I gave up eventually and drifted downstairs. Dad had his uniform on and he had made himself a very simple breakfast. He was eating like he planned on bolting as soon as he finished.

“Morning, kid.” He said when he noticed me, though it was a little delayed. I blamed it on the constant worry. On the off chance something happened, I hadn’t told him Bella was on her way yet.

“Morning, Dad. I didn’t know you were going back to work today.”

“Yeah, it hasn’t done me any good just sitting here.” I nodded and wrote ‘impatience’ on my arm. I understood what he was feeling; we had been here before. Last time I just didn’t know what danger lingered behind the scenes. His voice interrupted my train of thought. “Should… should I file a missing persons report?”

“No.” I answered too quickly. His head snapped up. “I just mean… She’s 18, and she hasn’t been gone that long. She left a note. I don’t know what anyone would be able to do.” I hoped I hadn’t raised his suspicion too much.

But he nodded and my heart settled a bit. “I know. It's driving me crazy not hearing anything from her at all. And Renee keeps calling for updates I don’t have.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “Maybe she’ll call soon.” I absolutely hated this.

He let out a short humorless laugh, “Maybe.” He kissed my head and moved away from me to put his plate in the sink. Then he headed for the door, “You’ll be okay for dinner and stuff?” I nodded again, though I didn’t think he expected me to say no. He didn’t even look up as he gathered his things. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Dad…” As soon as I got it out, I heard the door shut behind him and I was alone with my thoughts again.

I went upstairs to look up how long a flight from Italy to Sea-Tac would take.

~~

Dad got home close to 8pm. He didn’t seem like he was up for talking. He grabbed a beer and turned on the game. He was asleep in the recliner before I was even all the way down the stairs. 

If I had guessed correctly, the soonest and quickest flight would put them in Seattle by 1am. Of course I had no way of knowing what flight they caught. Just because I heard they were catching a flight around 11am doesn’t mean the flight itself was right then. Due to my own stubbornness, I hadn’t asked Carlisle about it or connecting flights.

I was losing my mind a little bit more each passing hour. I checked my watch 1000 times. I made sure my watch matched the clock in the kitchen, they didn’t. I fixed my watch to match the kitchen, then checked my phone to find both the clock and my watch were wrong now.

I gave up and stormed into the living room, hoping some cheesy sit-com would help pass the time. 

When I finally let myself check the time on my phone again, it was almost 10pm. Immediately I panicked and dialed his number. I didn’t think it through, I just listened to it ring. 

It only got through half a ring before he answered. “Y/n?” I could tell he was concerned. 

Dad was still snoring in the recliner. I whispered, “Have you left yet? For the airport I mean?” I crossed my fingers.

“The others have. I was about to. Are you okay, did something happen?” The others? I didn’t let it trip me up. I’d worry about that later.

I took a deep breath, “No, I’m fine.” I just had to find the courage to ask him. “Could you… Could you still come pick me up?”

“Absolutely, I’ll be there in ten minutes and we’ll go straight to the airport.” he almost sounded excited. I couldn’t help but get excited too.

“Okay. Oh uhm, my dad is asleep in the living room so don’t pull into the driveway. Your headlights might wake him up.” 

He chuckled softly at that, “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay…” I wanted to say I loved him but I couldn’t bring the words out. “Uhm… bye.”

I heard him laugh again and say goodbye before I hung up the phone. I quickly tiptoed upstairs, put something better than my pj’s on and went back down. I found a receipt on the dinner table and wrote a quick note to Dad, just in case he woke up while I was gone. 

      Dad, 

If you wake up before I’m back, I’m sorry. I went with Carlisle to pick up Bella from the airport in Seattle.

Brightside! Bella’s coming home!

You can be mad at me when I get back for not waking you up.

I’m sorry again. I’ll see you soon

                                                      ~ Y/n

I grabbed a pair of shoes and left as quickly as I could, locking the door behind me.I sat on the first step and put my shoes on. As soon as they were securely on my feet, I saw his shiny black Mercedes. I watched as he got out and went to open the passenger door for me. I allowed myself to run to him.

Somehow I think I startled him but he still caught me as I threw myself into his arms. I felt his face in the crook of my neck. I felt him breathe me in. 

I whispered, “Thank you. For coming home and for always planning to. Thank you for giving me the chance to choose. I still need time. I can’t just move on. But I want to and I love you and-” I was talking too fast, I don’t know if he understood me, but he chuckled against me.

“It’s alright, Cara. I love you. I’ll give you all the time you need and I’ll be right here with you.”

He didn’t push me for more or try to kiss me. He just held me for a long moment. “Okay,” It took a lot of effort to pull away from him. “I hate to ruin the moment, but we have some mello-dramatic teenagers to pick up.”

The sentiment made him really begin to laugh. “That we do.”

I got into the car and he slid in behind the wheel. I took a deep breath as we pulled onto the road and headed for Seattle.

~~

We drove in silence for a long time. The car held plenty of gas and I made sure to use the bathroom before leaving. We wouldn’t need to stop. Which worked in my favor, considering I didn’t think I could let go of his hand even if I had to. I would just worry about that when we got to the airport.

He broke the silence first. “What made you decide to come along?”

“Dad was already asleep, he didn’t seem like he wanted comfort when he was awake anyway… and I didn’t think I could wait until 4am to see Bella.” I debated saying the next part; a small part of me screamed not to. I wanted to be open and honest with him again. I wanted to trust him. “I also find your presence rather comforting. I missed it.”

Something like hope flashed across his features. “I missed you, Cara.” he gave my hand a light squeeze, before he focused back on the road.

I hadn’t missed what he had called me, then or anytime he did. It pulled at certain heart strings that before 3 days ago, I thought were gone completely. He had called me the Italian term of endearment pretty regularly before he’d left. Even now, my heart skipped a beat to hear him say it.

It still felt surreal to be there, in his car, holding his hand. I let the moment surround me; for once embracing the silence. I closed my eyes, listened to the rain hitting the car and just allowed myself to exist with him.

We reached the Sea-Tac airport in record time, not that that was a surprise at all. I avoided looking at the speedometer. Carlisle parked the car in the first spot he could find. He moved to get out of the car, but I pulled his hand.

He looked concerned, “Y/n? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just needed one more second.” I didn’t want to admit that I was scared to let go of his hand or to go in there and see his whole family again. He nodded as my heart pounded in my chest. I took a few steadying breaths and looked at his face.

“Are you ready?” I thought about it, I was ready to see Bella. I didn't know how ready I was for the rest of it, but it had to be okay.

I nodded, despite everything.

He smiled softly at me and said, “Then I’ll be around to get your door.” I let go of his hand only after the promise that he’d be right back. If he saw through me, he didn’t let on. He was gone, but moments later my door opened and his hand found mine again. As we walked I pulled close to him.

It did not look like it had just passed one in the morning. Though it didn’t take us long to find Jasper. I half expected Rosalie and Emmett to be there too, but as if he was the one who could read minds, Jasper said “Rose and Emmett are bringing Edwards car closer. They didn’t want to crowd them.

When I nodded he continued, “Y/n, I want to apologize for my actions last September-”

“Jasper-” I tried but Carlisle squeezed my hand. I let him finish.

“I know, just hear me out. Over the last few days I have prepared for the worst and have missed Alice with every breath. I can only imagine what these last few weeks have been like for you. I’m truly sorry that my lack of control not only put you and your sister in danger, but also caused months of torment.”

I didn’t fault him. I wasn’t mad at him. It never even crossed my mind that I should be, yet I found myself nodding as I thanked him for the apology anyway.

“Have you heard from them yet?” Carlisle asked

Jasper shook his head, “Their plane hasn’t landed yet but should be here within the next ten minutes or so.”

We all fell quiet as we waited. I pulled my hand away from Carlisle’s only to write the words ‘busy airport at 1am’ on my arm. He looked confused, but didn’t ask me, he was probably saving the questions for later. As soon as the pen was capped and back in my pocket, I relocked my fingers with his.

I saw Alice first. The air left my lungs again as she practically skipped straight to Jasper. Both of their hands met and neither of them spoke loud enough for me to hear. I quickly looked away to give them privacy. 

And then I saw Bella and I ran to her. I slowed before I reached her, not wanting to tackle her to the ground, but I hugged her the best I could. I started crying immediately.

“Oh Bella, honey. I’m so glad you’re alright.” The sound was muffled by her shoulder. She hugged me back just as fiercely, though Edward was the one supporting most of her weight. Then I moved to hug Edward, while screaming in my head ‘ I’m so glad you’re alive. If you ever pull some shit like this again, I will kick your ass; Vampire or not.’

He grinned, repentant. “Sorry, Y/n”

The tightness in my chest eased slightly. Despite everything, I was still happy to see him. Still very mad about everything, but happy to see him. Carlisle stepped forward and his hand found mine again. I think he needed it as much as I needed his. 

“Thank you, Bella,” Carlisle said. “We owe you one.”

“Hardly.” Bella mumbled. It broke my heart to see how tired she was.

“We should head home.” I hoped dad was still asleep. Maybe we could even sneak her in without waking him up and we could handle the situation tomorrow sometime. 

We drifted wordlessly back out of the airport and to the cars in the garage. Bella perked up at the sight of Rosalie and Emmett. Edward stiffened.

From beside me, Carlisle whispered, “Don’t. She feels awful.”

“She should,” Edward said, definitely not in a whisper.

“It’s not her fault,” my brow furrowed as I looked at my sister. I was kinda shocked she felt that way, though I didn’t necessarily disagree.

“Let her make amends,” Carlisle pleaded. “Alice and Jasper can ride with us.” I nodded when he looked at me for confirmation. I didn’t point out that someone would have to ride with us, or that I’d prefer it be Edward and Bella. I just let them make the decisions here.

“Please, Edward,” Bella said. She didn’t seem all that excited either, but that could have been the exhaustion talking.

I hugged her again, quickly. “I’ll see you at home.” She nodded and Edward helped her to the car. I didn’t envy that car ride. I also wasn’t excited for ours either. The deja vu wasn’t lost on me. All of the panic, and the drive to the airport felt exactly like it had last time. I still had so many questions I wanted answers to.

Jasper held open the back door for Alice and she pressed a quick kiss to his lips before getting in. I did envy that, however. I couldn’t kiss Carlisle again, at least not yet. None of this felt real enough to allow myself to kiss him. I was still so scared he would disappear. He did open my door for me, but he didn’t expect me to kiss him. He respected and understood my boundaries.

As we pulled out of the parking garage, Carlisle gentilly grabbed my hand again. “Alice,” He started.

“Yes?”

“Could you please explain what happened?” His eyes met hers in the rearview mirror.

“Of course.” Her voice still sounded like a song.

“Please start from the very beginning.” I took a deep breath and she began.

~~

The explanation took the entire drive home and though it wasn’t exactly what we wanted to hear, it was nice to understand the situation better. I was grateful for the knowledge. 

In essence, the Volturi demanded that Bella became a vampire. Bella was, of course, ready to jump into immortality right away. And, because Aro had read both Alice’s and Edward’s thoughts, they knew about me too. I got the exact same ultimatum. Become a vampire or die. I tried to quell the panic rising in my throat. Alice would see when they decided to follow through with their threat. I still had time. 

I would have chosen it before they left anyway.

The car was quiet after Alice told us about the flight home. We were almost to my house. I was still trying not to panic but I managed to force the wor ds out. “So, you guys are back? Like… really back?” I could see my street coming up. “Because I missed you and when you left, it hurt and I can’t do it again. I… I can’t watch Bella hurt like that again. If the Volturi are after her and she dies-”

“ Mon coeur ,” Carlisle’s voice pulled my focus. His hands moved to cup my cheeks. The car was idling on the street in front of my house, the headlights were off. “I’m here.”

“I know but-” I was losing it and he could tell. He just tried to bring my focus to him.

“I won’t go anywhere, unless you want me to go.”

I looked into his eyes and found comfort in the sincerity there. “I-I don’t.”

“Then I won’t.” I wanted to kiss him again. My heartbeat slowed and I found it in me to produce the smallest smile.

“Oh no.” Alice winced and my heart rate shot back up. I saw Edward and Bella pull into the driveway; their headlights were also off. “Charlies awake.”

“Fuck…” That made Carlisle and the others laugh. “You guys have to go. This is going to be hard enough without him shooting at you.” I swung my door open and undid my seat belt but before I got out, I turned back to him. 

I had to trust him. I needed to get it out of the way. If I did it now, then I wouldn’t have to worry about it later. Quickly I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. It was a very small kiss, but it gave me more courage than I would have been able to muster on my own. 

“I love you.” I saw the porch light turn on and Dad swung the door open. I got out of the car.

“I love you.” I heard Carlisle say through a laugh. He waited until I was close to Edwards car before he turned the headlights back on and drove off.

“Y/F/N SWAN!? Where the hell have you been? Who was that?” He was clearly very angry and didn’t read my note at all, but before I could answer his eye moved from me to the car next to me. “Isabella!?” He almost looked relieved.

But then he just looked absolutely pissed.

“You should go,” I whispered to Edward as he lifted Bella into his arms.

“It will be fine.” I don’t know how he sounded so confident.

“I can’t believe you have the nerve to show your face here.” Dad marched closer to us. I wanted to beg him to calm down, but I knew engaging would make things worse.

Bella didn’t seem to care so much. “Stop it, Dad.” though I doubt that he heard her.

“What’s wrong with her?” I didn’t know if he meant mentally or physically. 

“She’s just very tired, Charlie,” Edward assured him under his breath. “Please let her rest.” I winced.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Dad yelled. “Give her to me. Get your hands off of her.”

“Dad-” I hated how rude he was being, though I could hardly blame him. He was taking this too far. Edward did try to hand Bella off but she wouldn’t let him go.

“Cut it out, Dad.” She said with more volume. She wasn’t going to let Edward out of her sight anytime soon. “Be mad at me. ” 

We made it up the front steps. Bella looked at the sky, but it was still dark and the clouds blocked any light that might have been there this early.

“You bet I will be,  I’m pissed at both of you.” His glare came to me, I tried to smile sheepishly, but it didn’t land. “Get inside.”

“Kay. Let me down.” Bella sighed.

Once he had set her down, she lost her balance and nearly toppled over. Edward caught her before it was too late.

“Just let me get her upstairs, then I’ll leave.”

“No,” Bella cried. I could tell she was panicking, but I knew he’d just sneak back in the second Dad was out of earshot. I grabbed his arm as they drifted upstairs. He was only gone a second before Edward came back downstairs. Dad didn’t look up from where I had placed hand on his arm. 

I could tell how mad he was. I could feel him shaking. I felt guilty somehow.

Edward paused, like he was going to say something. Dad didn’t let him try. “Get out.”

“Dad-”

“Sir-”

“No, this is my house. I make the rules. You don’t get to waltz in here and pretend nothing happened. In fact I won’t let you. If you step in a single foot through that door again-”

“Dad! Seriously? I’m sure he gets it.” Dad scoffed, “Edward, go.”

He left without another word.

“So, you’re on their side?” It was my turn to scoff.

“There aren't any sides, Dad… I don’t want to do this tonight. I just drove to Seattle and back. Can you hate me tomorrow?” I dropped my hand back to my side. I didn’t even have it in me to cry at that point. I started up the stairs.

“I don’t hate you, Y/n. I just don’t understand-”

“Great, and we can figure that out in the morning.” I didn’t look at him again. I just kept moving towards my room. “Love you, Dad.”

I barely heard him mumble he loved me too before I shut the door behind me.

~~

Bella slept the whole day away, I spent my time locked in my room, and Dad grumbled his way around the house until he went to work. When he got home, he grumbled some more and then also shut himself in his room. 

I tried not to let it bother me.

I decided to give him some time to calm down before I went to Carlisle’s house. My house? Now that they were back, was it still mine? Not that I ever really wanted it in the first place. I wasn’t sure how I’d even address that situation.

I shook my head and tried to focus. If I left now, Dad would follow. Probably armed…

Everything was proving much more difficult than I had ever wanted it to be. Even almost a full day later, I still could hardly process it. I couldn’t even get my brain to turn off long enough for me to sleep.

I kept turning over and staring at the ceiling. I’d gotten up and stared out the window, tried counting sheep and making up stories in my head to try to distract myself. Not a single thing helped at all. So I gave up and sat on the floor by the window and listened to the rain for a while until I heard a soft knock on my door.

“Y/n?” Bella poked her head in, clearly checking to see if I was awake. “I’m going over to the Cullens’ house, could you come with me?”

“Right now?” It was well past midnight; closer to sunrise than sunset. She nodded. “Do you need a ride?”

“No, Edward will take me. I just need your input on something.”

“Oh… Uh, sure.” I tried to act like this wasn’t completely bizarre.

She smiled widely, “Good! No time to waste.” She grabbed my wrist and pulled me up from the floor. “Let’s go! Chop, chop.”

She only gave me a few minutes to change before she hurried me out the front door. I’m sure she only waited a second before Edward was back to run her to his house. Physically run, because we didn’t want him to bring his car to the street. Dad had eyes everywhere. They were smart enough to know at least that.

It didn’t matter that I drove a bit over the speed limit. They still made it there before me, and were full on making out when I got there. I never thought Bella would need to move on. She didn’t see things the way I did. She was never really mad at them. The whole time, she would have done anything to bring them back. I wasn’t even a little surprised that she could be so okay now. 

I don’t think they noticed I had pulled in. They talked amongst themselves for a few more moments before Edward pulled her through the door. I hesitated, getting out of the car slowly and moving toward them. I saw Bella turn and wave me in. I took a deep breath and followed.

I heard Carlisle before I saw him and my heart fluttered in my chest. “-this is not a purely a social visit?”

Bella nodded. “I’d like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay. About something important.”

Carlisle and Edward shared a look. I wondered what he was thinking. Edward just looked a bit critical.

“Of course. Why don’t we talk in the other room?” Carlisle suggested. I didn’t make a sound. I hadn’t made a sound the whole time and I don’t think they noticed I had come in because when Bella turned to tell me to follow, both men sharply looked in my direction.

“Y/n…” Carlisle basically breathed my name and his face softly slightly. I practically skipped to grab his hand. His fingers interlocked with mine as he led us into the very unused dining room. “I didn’t think I’d have the pleasure of seeing you this soon.” He whispered.

I knew the other could hear us, but it still felt intimate somehow. Like it was just the two of us. Feeling his cool breath on my ear made it hard to not blush.

“Bella… Can be stubborn.” I laughed. “I don’t have any idea what this is about.” His hand tightened on mine, but he still seemed calm.

I noticed as we walked how clean the house was. Nothing was dusty. The sheets were gone. It was like they never left. It bothered me more than I thought it would. I knew they’d be back, but I just didn’t want to pretend nothing had happened.

The others filtered in the room. They all picked spots at the table like this was a perfectly normal thing to do. Everyone was smiling, even Rose. Which was new and so odd. Carlisle pulled the chair next to him out for me and Bella sat on my other side. Edward sat on the other side of her.

Carlisle nodded toward Bella, “The floor is yours.”

“Well,” She bit her lip before continuing. “I’m hoping Alice told you everything that happened in Volterra?”

“Everything,” Alice assured.

Bella looked grateful, quickly glancing at me. I nodded. “And on the way?”

“That too,” she nodded.

“Good, so we’re all on the same page.”

That’s what this was about. I felt silly for not guessing before. They’d talked about turning Bella and now she was trying to cash in. She had made up her mind and she wasn’t going to wait. Despite the fact that she had a thousand reasons to wait.

We both did.

“So, I have a problem,” she began. “Alice promised the Volturi that Y/n and I would be like you.  I know they are going to send someone to check on us, and I’m sure that would be very bad- something we’d want to stop.

“And so, now, this involves you all. I’m sorry about that.”  She looked around the table. I couldn’t bring myself to meet her gaze. My eyes dropped to where Carlisle’s hand held mine. “But, if you don’t want me, or us… then I’m not going to force myself on you, whether Alice is willing or not.”

Someone must have tried to add something, but Bella cut them off. “Please, let me finish. You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks, too. I think the only fair way to decide is for everyone to have a vote. If you decide you don’t want me, then… I guess I’ll go back to Italy alone. I can’t have them coming here.”

I forced myself to make eye contact with her. Her face looked riddled with grief. She met my gaze and I shook my head once. A single tear rolled down her cheek when she caught on to the words I wouldn’t say.

‘Not alone.’

I think Edward growled. We just ignored him.

“Taking into account, then, that we won’t put any of you in danger either way, I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire.  Just me. Y/n can decide whenever she’s ready.”

“Thanks…” I barely mumbled. I was not ready to decide anything. I wanted to at least talk to Carlisle about everything first.

Bella gestured to Carlisle for him to begin, but Edward caught on too quickly. “Just a minute. I have something to add, before we vote.” I had to laugh. I wanted to hit my face on the table. “About the danger Bella’s referring to. I don’t think we need to be overly anxious,”  He nearly grinned, like he had been waiting to throw this into the gauntlet. “You see, there was more than one reason why I didn’t want to shake Aro’s hand there at the end. There’s something they didn’t think of, and I didn’t want to clue them in.”

“Which was?” Alice prodded.

“The Volturi are overconfident, and with good reason. When they decide to find someone, it’s  not really a problem. Do you remember Demetri?”

Bella shuddered, clearly she did. I had to try to remember which one he was. I got stuck between the tracker one and the twin to Jane.

“He finds people- that’s his talent,” He answered for me. “That's why they keep him.

“Now, the whole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible. So I saw how Demetri’s talent works. He’s a tracker- a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the… flavor?”

“Eww?” I’m sure the disgust was painted on my face. Carlisle chuckled.

“I don’t know how to describe it… the tenor… of someone’s mind, and then he follows that. It works over immense distances.

But after Aro’s little experiments, well…” Edward shrugged.

“You think he won’t be able to find me,” Bella said flatly.

I could tell how smug he was. “I’m sure of it. I don’t think he’d even be able to track Y/n. He hasn’t met her, and we could easily keep it that way. He relies totally on that other sense. When it doesn’t work on either of you, they’ll all be blind.”

“That doesn’t mean he couldn’t track me, I’m not like Bella.” I tried.

Surprisingly, Emmett added “Not exactly, but there’s something similar. We’ve all noticed it. I know you have too. You can walk into a room of vampires and not a single one of us will notice you. There has to be something to that.” 

“We don’t know that for sure,” Carlisle mumbled, his grip tightening ever so softly 

“Exactly! So How does that solve anything?” Bella asked.

“Quite obviously, Alice will be able to tell when they’re planning a visit, and we’ll hide you. They’ll be helpless. It will be like looking for a piece of straw in a haystack!”

He and Emmett exchanged a glance and a smirk.

“But they can find you,” Bella reminded him.

“And I can take care of myself.”

“Oh my god…” I placed my forehead on the table. Why was Edward being so dense? I was nearly shaking and the only thing keeping me grounded was Carlisle hand on mine. Clearly I wasn’t the only one with a problem because just about everyone else was very against Edwards plan. Except Emmett and Jasper, who continued to encourage him.

Bella wasn’t letting up. “All right, then. Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider. Let’s vote.” Her voice was still so calm and collected, I wanted to vomit. She looked to Edward. “Do you want me to join your family?”

His eyes were jet black. I wondered how long they had been that way. “Not that way. You’re staying human.” I almost laughed.

Bella nodded once and moved on. “Alice?”

“Yes.” She said it like it was easy.

“Jasper?”

“Yes.” I winced and just kept my eyes closed. I used my free hand to hold my head up; bracing my palm on my forehead and my elbow on the table.

Bella pressed on, “Rosalie?”

“No,” Thank god… “Let me explain. I don’t mean that I have any aversion to you as a sister, it's just that… this isn’t a life I would have chosen for myself. I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me.”

It was my turn to squeeze Carlisle’s hand. Though, I knew it wouldn’t do much to ease the overwhelming guilt he felt. I just wanted to remind him I was there.

But, somehow Bella accepted her reasoning. “Emmett?”

“Hell, yes!” he grinned. “We can find some other way to pick a fight with this Demetri.” I had to bite my finger to keep from screaming.

I felt Bella’s eyes on me, Then Carlisle’s. I huffed out a humorless laugh and shook my head. “Oh, I get a vote?”

“Of course, Y/n. This is about you too.” Bella’s voice was soft. I could already tell she regretted saying that. 

I was going to make that regret so much worse. I laughed. “I think you’re clueless. I think every one of you who voted yes, is clueless.

“Lets not forget, Bella, that a week ago, none of them were here.” I watched several of them wince. “These same people decided six months ago that we would be better off without them. And now you’re just so ready to strap into a literal forever with them. It’s insane, actually.” I let out a shaky breath.

“I know that I am grossly outnumbered and I’m not saying never,” Edward growled, I rolled my eyes. “You’re gonna have to live with it Eddy boy, it’s been decided and you know it. But can we give it some fucking time? Maybe circle back in a couple months, a year?”

Bella’s sharp eyes never left mine, “No. We’re deciding now. Final opinion?”

“For right this very second? No. I don’t think you should be a vampire.”

“Great. Thanks. Carlisle?”

His eyes were on Edward. I watched Bella start to panic. I knew better, I knew where his vote lay; I dropped his hand. He had the deciding vote, there were three yes’s and three no’s. 

“Edward,” he said.

“No.”

“It’s the only way that makes sense.” Carlisle insisted. “You’ve chosen not to live without her, and that doesn’t leave me much of a choice” Edward stalked out of the room. “I guess you know my vote.” he sighed.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at any of them, though I could feel his eyes on me. I was still shaking. There was an ear splitting crash from the other room that made me jump and definitely didn’t help my nerves.

Bella spoke quietly, “That’s all I needed. Thank you. For wanting to keep me. I feel exactly the same way about all of you.” 

A hush washed over the room, Alice moved to hug Bella. I closed my eyes and waited for a good point to leave. 

“Well, Alice. Where do you want to do this?” I didn’t even have time to react.

“No! No! NO!” Edward roared charging back into the room. “Are you insane?”

“Clearly…” I mumbled under my breath.

“Have you utterly lost your mind?”

“Uhm, Bella. I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’ll need to prepare…” I rolled my eyes.

“You promised,” Bella added, sounding like a whiny child.

I tried to tune them out. I focused on the sound my nail made when I tapped it on the table while they debated which one of them got to bite my sister tonight. The more Bella spoke the more muffled she got, like Edward was doing everything to get her to stop talking.

Bella wasn’t going to give up. I couldn’t take it. I pressed my palms against the wood of the table and left. I didn’t say a word. I felt Carlisle’s soft golden eyes follow me out of the room, but he made no effort to stop me. Not that he could if he tried.

I practically sobbed as I sat down on the front porch, the door slamming behind me. I didn’t make a sound- couldn’t. I sat there and let the cold air wrap itself around me and cried. I didn’t know how or when I would be able to go back inside. 

I listened to the crickets. I saw the sun peaking over the tree, just barely shining through the thick clouds. I didn’t cry for very long, I didn’t really have it in me. I just needed to leave the room and allow myself time to pull myself together. 

When the front door opened again, I never expected Alice to step out, but then she was sitting next to me.

“They went home… She agreed to wait at least until graduation. But the decision of when exactly hasn’t been made yet.”

I laughed, “Sure seems like it has.”

“Edward won’t do it so soon. He also won’t let anyone else do it.” She rolled her eyes, but was still so delicate with me. “There’s no set time line. She will be one of us, but it doesn’t have to be right now. Even when we were gone the vision of Bella never changed. We’ve just been delaying the inevitable.

“My visions have been wrong before. The future changes constantly. Edward and I agreed that if we left she would eventually move on, and be so much safer. But it never changed and I saw her jump off the cliff and…” Her voice trailed off. I think if she could cry she would have been. “Oh, Y/n… I’m so sorry. I wish I could change the way I handled things. I wish I could save you from all of this hurt.”

I let her hug me. I even pressed into her. 

I didn’t want to be mad anymore. More than anything, I wanted things to be normal. Or at least as close to normal as the Cullens could manage.

I looked to find Carlisle leaning against the porch railing. I didn’t know when he had come out, but I was thankful for his presence. Alice pulled away from me as I locked eyes with him. I tried to convince myself he was really there.

From the doorway behind me, Jasper spoke. “We’ll give you guys some privacy,” He said it kind of loud. Much louder than he needed to for just me to hear. I wondered how much privacy we were being given.

My eyes never left Carlisle’s. Alice and Jasper disappeared into the house and I stood up. He moved towards me. 

“I understand if you're mad at me…”

I kept my eyes on his face but said nothing.

“I won’t lose my son.”

“I know… I didn’t expect you to vote no. It’s okay.” I wasn’t going to blame him for Bella’s impulsive and reckless decisions. He just wanted to protect his family.

“There’s still time, Cara.” His cool hand pressed against my cheek, whipping away any remaining tears. Somehow it was more comforting coming from him.

I nodded. “I can’t make the same choice she has…”

“I would never ask you to.”

“At least not- not right now.” I leaned into his touch. “I always planned on being like you at some point.” His brow furrowed. I took a deep breath.

“Before you left, I knew that this was the life I wanted. I was always going to choose you and your family. I accepted that that meant I had to be like you, at some point.” I chuckled softly at the confusion on his face and continued. “I had a plan and everything. All I wanted was five human years. To love you, to see more of the world with you. Once the kids had settled and everything didn’t feel like it was out to get us, I would have asked you to turn me on some romantic getaway in Barcelona or Paris. Honestly, anywhere as long as it was miles and miles away from the people I love. I don’t want to be a danger to them...” A delicate smile started to form on his lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer to him. 

“We could still have that, if you still want it. The Volturi won’t think to check in on us for a while. It could be more than 30 years before we hear from them again, and Alice will see when they decide. You could be well into your fifties-”

I faked a gag. “Let’s not go that far.” I smiled up at him, “I just want more time with you.”

“That can be arranged.” I raised an eyebrow. “Stay with me tonight.”

“My Dad might actually kill us.” 

“Then tell him where you are and he won’t feel the need to come looking. You’re an adult. He can’t ground you.” He held my chin between his finger and his thumb. “Stay with me.”

I nodded and he kissed me. 

For the first time, all of this felt real again. Yes, he did leave, but he never really wanted to. He had spent months wanting to hear from me just as much as I wanted to hear from him. And he came back. He was here now. 

Because he came back. Because he never wanted to leave. 

I melted into his kiss. His hand pushed my hair off of my face. Before long, I was dizzy and probably would have fallen over if he wasn’t supporting me.

He pulled away first and my forehead fell against his chest. It felt so easy to laugh again.

“If I don’t text him now I’m going to forget and he really will show up this time. I think he’s just looking for a reason anyway.” Carlisle chuckled and handed me my phone, though I didn’t know when he got it. I typed up a very short message and hit send before I could think better of it. I turned the volume off and slid the phone into my back pocket. I looked back at his face.

“I love you.” My voice already sounded significantly less hollow.

“I love you.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “We’ll take this one day at a time.” I nodded and he smiled again. He swept me off my feet and into his arms. Then we were in his office and I was on my feet again. 

Thankfully his arms never left my waist. The room spun, but it was exactly like I remembered it. “I’m going to have to get used to that again…” He laughed and let me pull him in the direction of the bed. 

The second I was close enough I collapsed into it. Carlisle laid down next to me. I curled myself around him. “I really missed this.” I said, but it was pretty muffled by his chest.

“The bed was here the whole time.”

I leaned up to kiss him quickly and he met me halfway. “But you weren’t” Another quick kiss. “So it doesn’t count.”

I cuddled close to him and he buried his face in the crook of my neck. I felt how heavy my eyelids were, but I didn’t want to sleep. I didn’t want to miss anymore of him.

“Rest, Mon Coeur.”

I shook my head and he looked up to meet my gaze. I knew he’d still be here when I woke up. He’d be here and we’d take it day by day. But I wasn’t giving in just yet. I kissed him again and we kissed until I could no longer keep my head up. 

I laid my head on his chest. He brushed my hair with his fingers.

And for the first time since Bella’s birthday, I really slept.

I slept in much later than I usually could, and he was still there when I woke up. I soaked up some of the sunshine pouring in from the windows. I didn’t want to move and disturb the peace. I was laying on my side facing him, and he held my hand in the middle of the bed. 

It felt like the best kind of deja vu.

“Good morning, Beautiful.”

“G’morning, love” I reached up and touched his face. “I’m really glad you’re real.”

He laughed softly. “This is very real.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead but then he winced. Which is never a good thing. “Sadly, so are the messages from your Father.”

I sighed heavily and buried my face into the pillows. I still opened my hand and he gave me my phone. I only had 3 messages and 2 missed calls. Which was better than last time. The messages were angry but not threatening. He wasn’t coming after me.

As an adult, I made the choice to lock my phone without answering him. He’d get over it. I looked back at Carlisle, who had his eyebrows raised in suspicion. 

I shrugged, “He’s being a baby. He’ll be fine.” His expression didn’t change but he started to laugh. “He’s not going to come here. It’s fine.” I swore.

“Okay, okay.” He put up hand and let his face soften. “I trust your judgment.”

“You should.” I laughed and he pressed his lips to mine briefly.

He pulled back and grinned, “I made coffee.”

I gasped “Really?!” He sat up and I followed him. He grabbed the mug from the bedside table. “All is forgiven.” 

He threw his head back as he laughed. “If I’d known it was that easy-”

“Okay! Maybe not everything. But it’s definitely a step in the right direction.” I took a drink of the coffee and it was perfect, just the way I liked it. My heart skipped a beat.

He smiled at me and took my free hand. “I have to ask…” His free hand traced the fading words on my arm. “What are these?”

I felt how red my face got. “Well, I found it really hard to write while you were gone. And I started writing poetry, because my dad called me out on not writing. And I went to a poetry workshop because he said I don’t get out enough. Which was fair. I left the house like ten whole times for the first few months.” He winched. “That’s not the point. Anyway, I didn’t learn anything and all I picked up was writing little things you see on your arm so you can then turn it into poetry…” I rambled but I think he understood the gist of it.

“When do I get to read this poetry of yours?” He smirked.

“Never. When I’m dead? It’s bad, like really bad. And sad. And existential because you were gone… I don’t want it to hurt you.” I tried.

His smile softened and he touched my face. “I still want to read it at some point, but we’ll take it day by day.”

I nodded, “It’s not really up for debate, but maybe I could be convinced….”

“You’ll find, I can be very persuasive.” He winked at me and I melted.

I barely had enough time to set the cup back on the table before I crashed my lips into his.

~~

I cringed when I got home and Dad was still there. I had tried to wait long enough for him to have left for work. When I walked into the house I could hear him angrily doing the dishes. He didn’t even turn when I walked in. 

At least he was wearing his uniform. He had to leave soon.

“Bella’s in the shower.” He pulled the plug from the sink and let the water drain; Somehow even that seemed angry. “I just got done talking to her for the first time in days. Or I guess I should say, I tried to talk to her but she just lectured me. ”

“Well-” I tried

“You know, like I wasn’t here every damn day while she suffered. And I’m now supposed to accept that they’re back and that everything is okay.”

“It’s not-”

“Even you are just welcoming them back. After they hurt Bella like that. I just don’t understand how you can pretend nothing happened. It’s like no one cares how Bella-”

That did it. “Oh It’s very clear how much you care about how Bella feels, Dad.” I couldn’t fight back the tears, but the anger in my voice made him finally look at me. “I got hurt too… You’ve spent this whole time worried about Bella and you’ve hardly asked about me at all.”

“Y/n-”

“No,” I cut him off. I really was crying at that point. “Of course I worry about Bella. I hated how much she hurt-”

“They did that to her!” He almost shouted.

I stood my ground. “Carlisle got a job!” It was easy to lie for them now that they were back. “That happens. And he took his kids because what other choice did he have, Dad? They- fuck… They did what they thought was right and they came back when they realized it wasn’t.

“Did they go about it the wrong way? Absolutely. Did it tear Bella and me apart for literal months? Yup, sure did. But they aren’t criminals. They couldn’t have known how hard Bella took it.” My voice started to shake. I wanted to curl up and sleep. “How could they have known how dramatic Bella would be?”

“They should have tried to call or something, instead of just abandoning her.” I let out a humorless laugh and he added, “and you, Y/n. I know this is about you too. I saw how bad you were hurting too. Which is honestly why I’m so surprised you’re just pretending nothing happened.”

“Oh my god! No one is doing that. Carlisle is very aware of how I feel about the situation. Edward is riddled with guilt over all of it.” I sighed really trying to not be mad; He was making it very hard.

“Well I’m not going to sit by and let them hurt you again.”

I wanted to scream but I held back and mumbled, “It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall… Look, Dad, you can be angry and treat us like children if it helps you, but I see through it.”

I’d never spoken to him like this before, but he needed to hear it. I took a deep breath, let my voice soften, and looked him in the eyes. “I know you’ve been in our shoes before and I saw how hard it was on you. I can’t imagine what it’s like to experience that and then have to watch both of your daughters go through the same thing. 

“But I know that the anger and the yelling is just you projecting. Bella and I are not pretending nothing happened. Carlisle and Edward are not pretending nothing happened.” His face softened, I thought I’d gotten through to him; at least a little. “Dad-”

“No you’re right. You’re an adult. Bella is… 18.” He put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want to watch them hurt you again, but I’m the one in the wrong…”

I think he expected me to disagree, but I just sighed and looked at my feet. “They aren’t going to hurt us again.”

“Sure, Sure”

“You can be mad if you want…”

“Oh, I’m gonna be.”

I laughed. “Okay, Dad.” I tried to smile at him. I nudged his foot with mine and he almost cracked a smile. “You trust me, right?”

“Of course I trust you , it’s them I dont trust.”

“Psht!” I waved a dismissive hand “Who cares about trusting them.” He actually did smile a tiny bit. “Just trust me.”

“I do.”

“Great!” I threw my arms around him and whispered, “I can protect Bella too.”

He sighed and hugged me back. After all the yelling, this hug lifted a weight off my shoulders. “I know.” He leaned back to look at my face while holding my shoulders. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“I know.” I repeated his words back to him. “Neither do you. Or Bella. We have each other. Even if everyone else leaves…”

“We’ll always have each other.” He hugged me tighter this time resting his chin on my head. “When did you get so mature?”

“I’ve always taken after you.”

He laughed and pulled away. “I’ve got to work. Try to not let Bella jump on a plane to Texas while I’m gone.”

“Oh Texas? No promises. I’ve heard Texas is great this time of year.”

He tried to look annoyed with my sarcasm, but he loved it.

We said our goodbyes and he went to leave. He opened the door and turned and for a split second he looked like he was going to say something more, apologize maybe, but he shook his head softly and left for work. 

He wouldn’t let this go anytime soon.

I decided I wouldn’t let it bother me.

Epilogue <3

Taglist

@jakanddexter67 @a-not-so-poetic-poet @bridge597@cestlavie03 @gaymazinglula

#carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight #twilight renessaince #twilight fanfiction #twilight x reader #im always in this twilight #new moon #arent we just terrified

[scarfwrites]

Making Your Big Debut Karasuno & Seijoh

❅Genre : Fluff, Crack

❅Pairings: Seijoh x FemReader (PLATONIC)

                    Karasuno x FemReader (PLATONIC)

❅Warnings: dark comedy becuz it's heathers, also not proofread 

❅A/N : I have an unhealthy obsession with theatre and an unrealistic dream of being on stage. This is also insanely long but I enjoyed making it

REPOST FROM MY OLD BLOG

SPOILERS FOR HEATHERS AND SIX THE MUSICAL YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Karasuno

You were in your room with Hinata and Yamaguchi. You recently just auditioned for the musical Heathers for the Japan cast. You got callbacks thrice and are now in the final callback. Currently you were having a mini heart attack whilst Yamaguchi and Hinata were trying to distract you.

“Hmm which role do you think they’ll give you” Hinata asks

“I don’t know, I auditioned for literally any role but like what if I don't get it?” you replied shaking

“I’m sure you’ll get one! But if they don’t give you one they’re missing out on a lot” Hinata said trying to cheer you up

“Well which role do you want it to be?” Yamaguchi asked 

“I don’t know, I guess the lead? But I’ll be happy with any role” you replied

“I think you’ll be the yellow one! Or the blue one! They’re both sweet! The red one doesn’t fit you nor does the green one, they're too mean and bossy” Hinata said while you chuckle at his description of the characters.

“Even if they don’t fit Y/N’s personality it’s just acting so if she gets casted as those characters it just means she’s a great actor!” Yamaguchi said smiling at you

“Thanks both of you I feel a lot better” you said giving them a soft smile

The next day you were watching them practice as they usually do. You even decided to help out Yachi and Kiyoko.

“How’s your audition been going?” Kiyoko asked 

“Good I guess but I still haven't heard from them” you sighed

“I’m sure you’ll get a role! You’re really good at singing and dancing” Yachi praised

“Thanks but I don’t wanna get my hopes too high” you said giving them a sad smile

“Are you still mopping over the stupid callback” Tsukishima said annoyed

“HEY! DON’T SAY THOSE STUFF ABOUT HER YOU’LL MAKE HER MORE DEPRESSED” Tanaka yelled

“HE’S RIGHT SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE SAD CUZ SHE’LL DEFINITELY GET IT” Nishinoya chimed in the yelling

“That’s enough of both of you” Daichi said annoyed

“No need to worry about it Y/N we’re all here for you” Suga smiled

“Thanks you guys” brightly smile at all of them

You hear a ringing sound in your pocket.

“I think it's the directors!” You whisper scream 

“PICK IT UP” they whisper back

“Hello?” you said as they gave you a questioning look

“It is them!” you whisper

You went to the storage room as they all left quickly to give you space to talk to the directors

Whilst they were waiting outside the storage room inside the gym they couldn’t contain their nervousness for you.

“Bro what if she doesn’t get it” Noya said biting his fingernails

“WHAT ARE YOU SAYING OF COURSE SHE WILL” Tanaka yelled slapping sense to him

“THANKS BRO I NEEDED THAT” he yelled back

“Shhhhh what if they hear you! You're gonna ruin her interview” Suga whispered

“Oh right sorry” Noya and Tanaka said in unison

“They’d be really missing out if they don’t cast her” Tsukishima said nonchalantly

“I thought you said she was mid” Kageyama said narrowing his eyes

“Shut up king I didn’t say that” Tsukishima scowled

“WHY YO—” Kageyama was quickly interrupted by you slamming the door open with the mix look of distraught and confusion on your face

“So did you get it?” Hinata asked nervously as the room went silent

You started crying which made everyone panic

“I SWEAR THEY WILL SEE OUR WRATH” Suga yelled pulling you in a tight hug

“WHERE ARE THEY IM GONNA KILL THEM” Noya and Tanaka said in unison

“Everyone calm down” Asahi said nervously but was quickly ignored

“Guys I’m not crying cuz I didn’t get the part” you said wiping your tears

They all looked at you with confusion

“I didn’t even say if I got it or not” you continue 

“Will you stop beating around the bush and tell us” Tsukishima said annoyed as Suga elbowed him

“Sorry I was so happy I got the part that I cried” you nervously laugh

“YAY YOU GOT IT” Hinata cheered as he hugged you

“You not getting a role would’ve been more surprising” Kagayema chuckled

“SEE WE TOLD YOU” Tanaka and Noya jumped in joy

“Which role did you get” Kiyoko asked

“Oh right! They told me I got Heather McNamara the yellow one” you explained

“See! I told you the yellow one was the one for you!” Hinata said cheerfully

“I mean I can’t really imagine Y/N being the red one” Asahi chuckled

“It would’ve been fun seeing the red one telling Y/N to shut up though” Tsukishima grinned at you

“Why don’t you shut up” you scowled 

“Alright settle down” Daichi said, getting in between both of you and Tsukishima. “I think this calls for a celebration. Why don’t we go take a bite somewhere?” Daichi continued

“YEAH!” You all say excitingly

After practice you all went to a restaurant for a “victory feast”. The next couple of months were spent rehearsing for the musical. Rehearsals weren’t open to watch no matter how much they begged or when you asked for consideration the team couldn’t watch which bummed them a lot. Though that didn’t stop them from asking you to sing the songs you sang or steal the script of the lines you were supposed to act.

“You guys I need the script to rehearse tomorrow I almost forgot it earlier” you scold

“Sorry we just really wanted to see” Hinata said sadly looking very adorable in the process

You swear he’s doing this on purpose

“Please don’t make that face” you said trying not to get persuaded by him

“Just one song please” he begged getting on his knees

“We’ll get on our knees too” Noya said pulling Tanaka with him

“You guys if she doesn’t want to do it then she doesn’t have to” Suga scolded lightly as they all look down in sadness

“Thanks Suga” you smile

“Though I wouldn’t mind if you did show us lines or songs” he smiled innocently as you sigh

“It’s just one song are you that afraid of sounding that bad in front of us” Tsukishima looked at you condescendingly 

“Fine challenge accepted” you smirked at him

You then sang your own rendition of Lifeboat which was your main solo in the musical. You also did the lines before your solo. Short but had a lot of emotions accompanied by your soothing voice. As you finish you look at them and see them tearing up and Tsukishima looking like they’re about to cry.

“Woah you guys that’s not even me giving my all” you chuckled

“WHAT?!? YOU PUT SO MUCH EMOTION IT MADE ME CRY” Noya yelled

“I guess it’s cuz she’s a really great actor” Yamaguchi smiled

“She’s also got a great voice” Kageyama chimed in

“It even made Tsukishima cry” Hinata pointed out

“What the hell are you saying? I’m not crying” Tsukishima said looking away to hide his tears

“Doesn’t matter you did great” Daichi said patting your back

“Aww thanks you guys” you smiled brightly

A few months of rehearsals later it was time to make your big debut which thankfully was on the weekends so the whole team could come. You were currently in your dressing room getting ready as the show was in an hour. Saying that they were excited was an understatement. It was as if Hinata multiplied or shared his energy with everyone

“I'M SO EXCITED BRO ARE YOU” Tanaka exclaimed 

“YES WE FINALLY GET TO SEE Y/N ON STAGE PERFORMING” Nishinoya said nodding in agreement

“You guys already saw me perform on stage before though” you sighed

“Yeah but not this musical!” Hinata cheered

“C'mon guys we need to go to the seats after all shows about to start in ten minutes” Daichi said pulling them aside

“Don't forget to break a leg” Suga smiled

“Thanks I'm still pretty nervous” you said sheepishly

“You'll do great stop worrying or you’re gonna do awfully” Tsukishima said annoyed getting elbowed by Suga in the process

“The show's about to begin everyone get ready” you hear the intercom say

“That's our cue to leave” Daichi stated

“See you later Good luck Y/N!” Tadashi yelled getting outside

“Goodluck!” The rest of the team say in unison whilst getting outside you smiled at their sweetness

The show started with the opening number Beautiful. The team was waiting for when you'd show up luckily as they thought that you showed up during the heathers introduction part in beautiful

| Heather McNamara head cheerleader her dad is LOADED! He sells engagement rings |

They cheered very loudly to the point where you couldn't hide your huge smile. The support they gave you almost made you cry. After the song ended it's time for Candy Store which was the main song of the Heathers

| Course if you don't care, fine! Go braid her hair maybe Sesame Street is on |

They were amazed by your harmonies, your dancing and acting. Sure they've seen you dance, act and sing but despite the first show they saw how you really gave your everything.

A moment they never forgot was Never Shut Up Again because your character was moving around very meekly. They couldn't help but smile at your adorableness. Especially when Heather Duke slammed the locker on your face

| We can't just swap her like a light bulb you awkwardly laugh shut up heather you said nervously |

| NO HEATHER YOU SHUT UP |

There were the next songs where it mostly was the other characters' parts. But then came the part where you really shined lifeboat

| And I'm like Jesus I'm on the freaking bus again cuz all my rides to school are dead |

It was supposed to be kinda sad but the way you acted was too funny to them. The laugh ended quickly when you started your solo

| Everyone's pushing everyone's fighting | 

| Storms are approaching there's nowhere to hide | 

| If I say the wrong thing or wear the wrong outfit | 

|  They'll throw me right over the side |

| I'm hugging my knees |

| And the captain is pointing |

| Well who made HER captain |

| Still the weakest must go |

The performance was so much more different compared to the sample you gave. They felt chills and heard the sadness in your voice and acting.

They noticed your character changed from being one of the mean girls to a meek girl who desperately wanted to stay afloat or in other words a cinnamon roll. You didn't have any major parts in the rest of the play apart from the cheerleading.

| Hey yo Westerberg tell me what's that sound? | 

|  Here comes Westerberg comin' to put you on the ground |

“Dude she's in a cheerleading outfit” Tanaka said staring at you

“I know right dude” Nishinoya said also eyeing you

“Calm your horniness down” Daichi said smacking them

The last song Seventeen reprise made them cry. It was basically a happy ending for everyone. Suffice to say the time where you bowed you heard them cheer loud to the point where you were concerned that the ushers would get mad.

Then came stage dooring which was basically when the actors do like a meet and greet. You got a lot of support from the people who were watching which made your heart flutter. But boy did it not compare to the support the team gave you

“WOOOO YOU WERE SO GREAT” Hinata cheered as you quickly shush him

“Guys not so loud we might get in trouble” you scold

“Pfft they can try to stop us” Tanaka said cracking his knuckles

“Well we also don't want her to get scolded” Asahi said worriedly

“Oh right” Tanaka said

“Anyways you were amazing” Suga said smiling at you

“Yeah it even made Tsuki cry earlier” Yamaguchi said excitedly but got elbowed by Tsukishima in the process

“Shut up” Tsukishima scowled

“Well this time I would actually agree with him for once” Kageyama smiled at you

“Aww thanks” you blush as you scratched the back of your neck

“How bout we go have a feast on me” you continued

“YEAH! FOR Y/N!” they all yelled

“Will you keep it down” the usher scolded

“Sorry” you said nervously as you pushed them out of the building.

They may be rough or hard headed but you still thought of them as family.

Seijoh

You were currently in your room with the third years practising for your audition for Six which recently started opening auditions. They were helping you to find songs to sing for your audition.

“Which role are you even gonna choose anyways?” Matsun asked

“I don’t know any role is honestly fine with me” you replied

“It’d be much easier if you could pick a role and have a song that corresponds to that role” Iwaizumi stated

“Yeah I guess you’re right you sighed thinking of which role” you wanted

You loved all the roles and wouldn’t mind getting any but if you had to be specific.

“I guess Seymour, Howard or Parr?” You said thinking out loud

“Cool choices if I knew who those were” Maki deadpanned 

“The grey one, the pink one or the blue one” you scoff

“Aren’t those the ones with the most depressing songs” Matsun said

“I wouldn’t call it depressing per se it’s more of emotional” you explain

“Then we gotta pick like an angsty song” Oikawa said looking through your options

“How about this one” Iwaizumi said holding the song

Oh that's a good one! you said excitedly

We'll just need to find one more! you continued 

Alright let's get to it Oikawa said

After the audition you got a callback. So you needed to practise for the next callbacks which were for singing, dancing and a bit of acting with the actual script. Though it was hard to take it seriously when Oikawa was being very over dramatic reading the script whilst the other third years making comments on how bad he's doing.

“Stop taking Y/N script it’s her audition not yours” Maki said annoyed

“I’m helping her audition” Oikawa scowled

“Your not helping her you’re being so fucking overdramatic” Iwaizumi complained

“Yeah I’m glad she’s the one auditioning and not you” Matsun sighed in relief

“YOU ALL ARE SO MEAN” Oikawa said annoyed

“Alright settle down you guys I still have to practice just so you know” you sighed

“Alright continue” Maki said

You continued trying out the other songs for your auditions and the others tried helping you with criticism on your acting. Of course they weren’t experts but their support and criticism was greatly appreciated. You then sang their respective solos using the music the directors gave you.

“Wow Y/N-chan I'm in tears” Oikawa said dramatically

“Oh shut up you're literally ruining the moment” Maki scowled

“I mean he's right about how great your acting was though” Matsun chimed in as Oikawa smirked

“Thanks you guys but I'll need more practice to make it my own role” you smile

“Good luck” then Iwaizumi smiled patting your head

After a few more auditions you received callbacks for Seymour and Howard so you opted to practice on their songs and how you'd play the character.

“See Y/N-chan I knew you could do it! You got three callbacks already” Oikawa exclaimed

“They just realized how great you are” Maki smiled smugly

“Thanks but  I don't wanna sound overconfident after all there's multiple other locations to audition” you said worriedly

“If they won't let you get the part we'll send Iwaizumi” Matsun chuckled 

“I'll do it only for her because she deserves it” Iwaizumi scoffed as the others smiled at him teasingly only for them to be chased around the room the rest of the day.

The next day you went to the gym to help out with the team. A thank you for the help they gave you with the auditions.

“Oh Y/N! How's the last callback been going?” Yahaba asked

“It went really well! I think it's one more final callback?” you smiled

“Goodluck to you then, hope you get it” Kunimi nonchalantly said giving you a thumbs up

“You must be nervous it's a pretty big show and you're at the finals” Kindaichi said giving you a soft smile

“I'd be lying if I wasn't really nervous” you chuckled

“Cmon Y/N-chan believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything” Oikawa winked

“Does anyone have a barf bag” Maki scowled

“Go to the cafeteria and get a paper bag” Matsun chuckled

“You all really have to ruin the moment” Oikawa deadpanned

“You ruined the moment when you interrupted her while she was singing” Iwaizumi scoffed

“I was proud of her so I clapped!” Oikawa gasped 

“Hey stop this senseless banter you all still need to practice you know” you reprimanded as they all sigh

“Alright Captain Y/N” they said in unison but before they were about to practice interrupted by your phone ringing

“Hello?” You answered

Everyone was looking at you worriedly until your call finished

“I'm in the finals” you said quietly you didn't know what to think or how to feel

“WHAT REALLY? THIS MEANS YOU'RE GONNA GET IT” Oikawa yelled excitedly only to get smacked by Iwaizumi

“No dumbass she still needs one more audition” Iwaizumi scowled

“Well at least if she doesn't get it she made into the finals” Matsun chimed in

“They'd be missing out though if they didn't cast her” Maki said

“Did they tell you which role they really want you to play” Kunimi asked

“Oh yeah they said Howard no go and they really want me to be Seymour” you smiled

“Well good luck with that” Kyotani muttered as everyone looked at him in surprised 

“Oh uh thank you?” you blush

“Wha– did he just- I-” Oikawa said trying to process everything

“I NEED TO PRACTICE SOME MORE” you said running out of the gym

“Wait! Y/N you still have school” Yahaba sighed

“Oh right” you laugh

The next few days were working your ass off to win the audition. You practiced being her character and her solo as much as possible though you did take breaks as you didn't want to lose your voice or get too tired to audition.

You were now at the audition room looking around to see the other people who wanted to be there. You felt very intimidated. You sadly look down and think, Will I really get it? These girls seem much more talented than me. Plus the other locations you looked like you were about to cry but you remembered that the others though maybe silly they worked hard to help you get to this point so you continued on for them.

“So how was the final audition” Matsun asked

“It went well I think? They were really moved by the song” you softly smile

“Of course! You weren't at your full potential when you first sang the song yet it still made me cry” Oikawa cheered

“Thanks you guys but still one more call before I get into the show if I even get it” you sadly look down

“Cmon don't be such a Debbie Downer we know you can do it” Maki gave a reassuring smile

“Yeah I can't imagine anyone playing the role other than you” Iwaizumi smiled as you blush

“I think this calls for a group hug” Oikawa said happily as everyone except him were in a group hug

“HEY WHAT ABOUT ME!?” Oikawa yelled

“Fine come here you dork” you smiled

“I'm not a dork but fine” Oikawa scoffed 

You all heard ringing from your phone

“Isn't that your phone” Matsun said

“Yeah… it's the directors” you silently panic

“Pick it up and whatever happens we'll be there for you” Iwaizumi smiled

“Wow what a softy” Maki teased receiving a glare from Iwaizumi

“Alright” you said picking up the phone

A few minutes later after they left your room

“God what is taking so long” Oikawa complained

“Not as long as you take in the shower” Iwaizumi scowled as the other two laughed

“GUYS I GOT IT! I GOT IT!” you yelled at the top of your lungs

“CONGRATS!” they all yell in unison then they all pull you into a tight hug

“Thanks you guys for everything” you smiled as you cried

“No prob save those tears when you're in the show” Matsun said wiping your tears

“Yeah you're gonna be doing that a whole lot” Maki chuckled

“Let's go for lunch on me tomorrow” you smiled

“Alright!” they said in unison

The day after you took them for  lunch. The others in the team congratulated you even the angry dog which made you smile brightly. The next few months were rehearsals where you acted and sung with your co-workers which was very fun. The third years besides Iwaizumi tried sneaking in to watch but quickly got caught and got reprimanded by both the security and Iwaizumi. You laughed your ass off when they told you about it.

It was now opening night which made you very nervous as it was your first time performing in this show. You were currently getting your makeup done after fitting your costume.

“Woah you look so good in that costume” Kindaichi praised

“Aww thanks the costume itself is really beautiful” you smiled

“And fitting!” Oikawa smiled

“You still would’ve looked good in the other costumes though” Matsun said

“This costume fits her the best though” Maki said as Matsun nodded in agreement

“Everyone get ready we’re gonna start in six minutes the intercom” stated

“Well guess we have to go to our seats now” Matsun sighed

“Goodluck Y/N-chan! Break a leg!” Oikawa smiled

“Yeah good luck!” they all said before leaving

The show started with the opening Ex-Wives which was where they described each wife of Henry the 8th. You were the third wife Jane. During your parts you heard very loud cheering from the team which made you smile.

| Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved |

| Rude! |

| When my son was newly born, I died |

| But I’m not what I seem or am I? |

| Stick around and you’ll suddenly see more |

The mom jokes and puns that your character made were hilarious and made them laugh their ass off. You smiled brightly on the inside on how they were enjoying the show. The next songs were mainly the other queens solos so it was mostly you dancing but it still amazed them on how great you were. Then it came to your solo Heart of Stone which was Jane's message to Henry about her unconditional love no matter how bad he was to the other queens. Though it was the song you sang the most, you tried hiding your full potential from them so this would be the first time they’d see you give your everything.

| You can build me up | 

| You can tear me down |

| You can try but I’m unbreakable |

| You can do your best |

| But I’ll stand the test |

| You’ll find that I’m unshakable |

The last part where you belt your heart out had them in tears. It was emotional and your soothing voice did not help them from pouring their eyes out. You got a very loud standing ovation from the audience after the song which made you much more confident and less nervous.

| Cuz what hurts more than a broken heart? |

| A severed head |

They laughed a lot from that joke. The next few songs were you dancing apart from Haus of Holbein until you got to the lines during the prologue before All You Wanna Do.

| When my ONE and ONLY child had a raging fever Henry wouldn’t let me her MOTHER se– |

| OH BOOHOO! Maybe Mary had the chickenpox and you weren’t there to hold her hand well, it's funny because when I wanted to hold my NEWBORN SON I DIED! |

| And Jane, dying of natural causes |

| WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED! |

They laughed their asses off at that part as your acting was top notch hilarious. You had some more hilarious lines after All You Wanna Do which was a weird shift from how sad and emotional the song was.

| So true when you died your son did have to grow up without a mother– |

| OH WAIT! That was me and no one cared when you died! |

Then came the prologue of I don’t need your love which was when Parr confronts everyone about how comparing their lives was very messed up.

| Well we’re here in front of all these people going like OOH let see what gets the biggest cheer trauma or abuse WOOO! Should we really be doing this? |

| I mean we’ve literally been doing that for the last hour so you said nonchalantly |

Then came I don't need your love the remix when you all sing together. Then after came six which was all of you retelling your lives in a happy ending. Of course your character with the jokes and puns.

| We’re one of a kind no category

Too many years lost in history

We’re free to take our crowning glory

For five more minutes

WE’RE SIX |

Then it finally came to an end with the MegaSix which was a song they were able to record. Which was hilarious as Oikawa tried filming the show earlier but an usher came in and stopped him as he was literally at front row.

| You can -LOL | 

| You can -SAY OH WELL | 

| You can try but I’m unbreakable | 

| All you wanna– Do your best | 

| But I’ll stand the test | 

| You’ll find that I’ve | 

| Got a Heart of Stone | 

Then the show ended and all you bowed as you all got a massive standing ovation. You then went out to stagedoor greeting all the fans and getting their unconditional support but you smiled brightly seeing the team waiting for you.

“So what did you all think” you smiled

“I don’t know how fantastic you were!” Oikawa cheered

“Yeah you made everyone cry during your solo” Yahaba chuckled

“Even the mad dog and Iwaizumi were moved” Maki smirked

“Shut up” Iwaizumi and Kyotani said in unison

“Aww thanks I’m flattered” you chuckled as you blush

“Oikawa tried filming earlier didja see that” Matsun laughed

“Yeah it was very clear and I got scolded after the show for it” you glared at Oikawa

“Oops” Oikawa nervously laughed

“I’ll kill him for you” Iwaizumi said cracking his knuckles as Oikawa looked at him mortified

“Maybe later let’s just go out to eat, I'm starving!” you said holding your stomach. You were glad you had such a big family who would always support you no matter what.

MASTERLIST

Here are the main songs that Y/N sung ironically also my favorites from their respective musical

#iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #iwaizumi x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi x y/n #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei x reader #kageyama x reader #matsukawa x reader #haikyuu x reader fluff #iwaizumi fic #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #kageyama fluff #hinata fluff #hanamaki x reader #hanamaki x you #hanamaki fluff #matsukawa fluff #sugawara fluff #sugawara x y/n #daichi fluff #daichi x reader #asahi fluff #asahi x reader

[wardlowsbabydoll]

Taylor Swift Breakdown- Dark Order

I’m honestly going to just tag this under my miscellaneous Masterlist and Anna Jay’s Masterlist, I’m a bit lazy to do much else

Word Count: 984

‘Haunted’ by Taylor Swift blew through your headphones as you sat on your bed in your hotel room reflecting on how you got to this point.

 It was the Dynamite before All Out and you had blown it; you had competed to try and get into the four-way match for the Interim Women’s Championship and that required you facing the lowest ranked women in that match- Britt. The interference between Rebel and Jamie grew to be too much, and with no one to second you since Anna turned to the JAS, you were simply overwhelmed and ended up submitting to Lockjaw. After suffering a beatdown as well afterwards you were just done.

            You avoided Dark Order’s locker room the whole time afterwards because you didn’t want your friends to see you like this- defeated. Once you were sure that they were gone you scampered into the locker room to grab the rest of your stuff before you headed out. As you made your way to your rental you heard some of the fans cheering for you. Faking a smile you decided to walk over and thank them for coming.

            “You’re my favorite!” a little girl came up to you, she couldn’t have been older than 7. She was missing her two front teeth which made you smile a bite more genuinely at her. “I am? I’m sorry I didn’t win.” You said and tried to keep face, the last thing you wanted was to cry in front of your fans. As if sensing how sad you were (most children were quite perceptive like this) she wrapped her arms around you and gave you a hug. You could see who you assumed was her parent recording the interaction but also looking slightly mortified, you gave the parent a reassuring look and squeezed her back just as tight. “You’ll win next time.” She said to you and you squeezed her just a bit harder to show her that you heard. “I wanna be just like you when I grow up.” And that was what made the dam break. A few tears slipped down your face as you gave the girl a smile. You signed so many things and had so many photos taken, each one with you crying harder as each little kid that came up to you told you that you had inspired them to become a wrestler, only making your defeat that much harder to come to terms with.

            When you finally made it back to the rental car, you quickly wiped your eyes and swiped on your Taylor Swift playlist. ‘Haunted’ happened to be the first song that circled through and you immediately set it to loop. When you parked in the hotel parking lot you put your headphones on and headed inside, the sad Swift song enveloping you as you made your way back to your room, and sat on your bed.

            You had no idea how long you had been sitting there but you knew you should probably change and go to sleep, you had a flight to catch in the afternoon. A knock on your door broke you out of your depressing stupor. When you opened it you immediately saw the rest of Dark Order, you could see they were trying-but failing to not give you looks of pity. They knew how disappointed you were that you couldn’t pull it off. You slipped your headphones off and placed them around your neck, the sounds of Taylor Swift filling the empty space.

            “Hey.” You said quietly, they didn’t say anything in response but just plowed their way inside. You were stunned to see at the very back of the pack was Anna. Before you could even say anything Anna cut you off “I know technically we’re supposed to be enemies now and I’m not even a member of Dark Order anymore but I saw your match, and I’m sorry I didn’t second you. These boys wanted to come and take care of you but to be honest you and I both know they couldn’t find their way out of a wet paper bag, much less deal with an upset woman. But, I’m here if you’ll have me.” She finished her small tangent. “You’re forgiven, I understand you have to save face with Jeriblow but I’m glad you’re here now.” You smiled at her and let her inside.

            Anna gently pulled your headphones from around your neck and laid them on the small bench by the door. “No more Taylor honey.” She said as you leaned your head on her shoulder, your loss still dragging you down. You were led back over to your bed where the remnants of Dark Order had become comfortable. You were soon sandwiched between Uno and Anna as you finally cried over your loss, over how unfair it was. You didn’t deserve friends like Dark Order, they were too good to you, they stayed with you the whole time as you cried and grieved over this lost opportunity.

            After about an hour of you crying you sniffled and swiped at your eyes with the heel of your hands. “Would he be disappointed in me?” You asked quietly. Everyone knew who the ‘he’ you were referring to was. Brodie. He had handpicked you because he saw greatness in you, now you were doubting it. “No. He would be proud that you gave it your all. He’s still here you know? Just because he isn’t physically here doesn’t mean he isn’t here.” Uno said as he pet your hair. The rest of your night was spent with your friends as you shared memories of the great Mr. Brodie Lee, and watching movies, successfully making you feel a bit better.

            They were happy to make you feel better too, especially after your last Taylor Swift Meltdown as they called it. It was not a fun experience they’d want to repeat.

#anna jay #Anna Jay angst #Anna Jay x reader #dark order #dark order x reader #AEW #AEW imagine #AEW angst #aew x reader

[aeoki]

High and Low: The Centre of the Earth - Chapter 19

Location: Australian Land (Night) Characters: Tetora, Hajime, Midori, Mitsuru

Season: Autumn Writer: Akira

Tetora: Ahaha. Looks like Hajime-kun and Midori-kun are even better friends now.

Midori: We had our fair share of troubles too, you know… Although, there weren’t as many ups and downs as you guys.

Tetora: Yeah? Well, if it was an enjoyable trip for the both of us then I’m glad.

Midori: Yeah. …Wait, we were supposed to be in the middle of a fight, but we’re talking to each other normally.

Tetora: Oh, right. Jeez, so much stuff happened it made me forget about it.

And you came to save us, right?

You’re the one who’s always saying you don’t wanna do any of the hero stuff.

Look, you’re a hero too. I’m happy I got to see that with my own eyes.

I’m touched to see that “heroes who come and save you at the perfect time” really do exist.

Midori: No, we’re just the extra bits and pieces.

The one who came to save you guys is Master Artist.

Tetora: Master Artist…? You mean, Fushimi-senpai?

Midori: Yeah. It’s a long story but it looks like Suou-kun was worried about his friend, Harukawa-kun.

So he went back to Japan and brought a rescue team over.

He didn’t know you guys were carrying out the “High and Low” project. It’s like he couldn’t take a hint and did something completely unnecessary, though.

And Master Artist Fushimi was worried about Himemiya-kun’s safety so he responded to the summon and flew all the way here by plane.

There’s an Australian military base nearby… Thanks to Master Artist, we got special permission to use it.

You don’t have to rush and leave. If you take the plane from that base, you’ll be able to reach the town “ES II” is in really quickly.

What do you wanna do? If you wanna hop back on to the bus, we can leave, though…?

Tetora: No, we’re sick of the bus! It feels like I’ve taken a lifetime’s worth of bus rides already! 

That’s why I’ll take your offer of rescue, Midori-kun.

Thanks, hero. For coming to save us.

Midori: I-It’s not like I did it just for you, alright? Shino-kun was worried sick about you guys he got super depressed.

I couldn’t stand to watch him any longer and I’m close with Master Artist Fushimi, so I asked if I could go together with him.

I could’ve waited at the hotel, but I wanted to see your crying face since it’ll probably get cut from the final video.

I figured I’d feel pretty relieved after seeing the pathetic look on your face.

Tetora: ……….☆

Midori: Ow, ow, ow! Can you stop hugging me? It hurts because of a whole bunch of reasons…!

Tetora: Osu. Sorry.

…As I thought, I’m really hopeless. In comparison, I was completely useless this time.

I did my best to cook but I don’t think anyone liked it.

Midori: Oh, so you were doing the cooking, huh… I feel sorry for them.

Tetora: Osu. But that won’t keep me down.

I’m still someone inexperienced that can’t do anything. I became aware of that again after this incident.

But no matter how many times I fail, if I don’t give up and keep going at it…

I should be able to overcome any wall that comes my way. Luckily, I’m surrounded by people who are like my role models and they’re a million times more incredible than I am.

I’ll absorb their light and become an even better me. Slowly but surely.

Midori: Tetora-kun, that’s all you ever talk about… Do you wanna bring back that sour atmosphere by talking about that stuff again?

Tetora: No, I’d like to get along with everyone without butting heads if possible.

I’m not very good with that kinda stuff, after all.

Midori: Yeah. I know. I’ve already given up.

Tetora: You can’t give up, Midori-kun! You should keep trying over and over without giving up!

Midori: How annoying… Ahh~ I regret ever coming. I should’ve stayed in the warm hotel room.

It’s supposed to be autumn but it’s so suffocating, jeez.

Mitsuru: Wahaha. “RYUUSEITAI” is always the best of friends, huh~♪

We “Ra*bits” can’t lose, either! Right~ Hajime-chan? ♪

Hajime: …………

Mitsuru: Hajime-chan? Wait, he’s not breathing, y’know!

Hajime: You’re holding on to me too tightly, Mitsuru-kun.

*Breathes out…* I thought I was going to die. I know you’re fond of hugging others, but please hold back a little.

Right now, I don’t want to get hurt in a place like this.

Mitsuru: Got it! Gotta avoid getting hurt no matter what!

Hajime: That’s true but it’s not only that, we have a big job waiting for us in the future.

Mitsuru: What big job?

Hajime: I’ll tell you along the way. So let’s talk later and get on the bus for now.

No. We should hurry back to our stage.

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

#high and low

[akirawrites24]

Gone forever

Pairing: Rachel x Eijiro

A/N Rachel belongs to me

Trigger warning: suicide

--------------

He couldn't safe her could he? Of course he couldn't. This was her choice to make, not his. He wished that he could have stopped it though...

Everyone knew that Rachel didn't have the best life, but that she would actually do something like this is something no one saw coming.

'To anyone who finds this stupid letter, please don't cry.. I absolutely hate it when people cry because of me.. But you all gotta understand why i did what i did.. I didn't do it because i hate i all.. i did it because my sister is dead...

Let's be honest here, we all know i was useless anyway, i couldn't safe Eri even though i promised her.. And even though my dad is in jail right now , eri didn't got justice.. Her justice would be that she finally got to live ! I wanted her to live a life full with happiness! But now she can't anymore! I am the worst person that walks on the goddamn planet.. or rather walked..

While i am writing this letter, i am already in he bathroom, i am gonna die alone.. but the good thing is that i die only 2 regrets..

I guess that one regret of mine is already obvious. I regret that i didn't safe Eri while i had the chance. I hope that she can forgive me in the after life..

My second regret is that i never got to tell Eijiro how much i love him.. I deeply regret that he and i never got to marry... God i am so sorry.. But even he would never be able to let my depression go away completely.. shit, now i am crying as well.

I hope that  you all can live without me though.. i hope that you all can get happy lives and be the greatest heroes in the world! Something that i was never be able to become.. Anyway, live the live that you always wanted.. and please.. don't make anyone ever say that you aren't worth it.. cause you are..

I will always watch you from hell.. or heaven i don't know what death has in store for me.. i end this now..

Goodbye

-Rachel Chisaki'

Once the class and heroes knew about this, they wanted to safe her and run to the bathroom as fast as possible, only to see Rachel her dead body in the thub with her wrists being cut open. Once the police arrived, they had stated that Rachel was already dead for 5 hours. That made everyone cry in an instant. They had lost their friend and no one had suspected a thing..

At her funural , the entire UA school ad pro's where crying at their loss. Yes, even Neito and Katsuki are crying. And no one blamed them. They might never got along but none of them actually hated her. People couldn't even finish what they wanted to say about her cause they simply cannot hande the loss of such a young teen.

Once everyone was away, the police had let Kai to her grave. The police was actually surprised that he out of all people had demmanded to bring him to his daughter's grave. Seems like he isn't completely heartless after all.

Once he heard the news of what happened he didn't want to believe it at first, he already lost his boss and now her? Yeah, he didn't pay attention to her as a kid and didn't wanna raise her or even let her go in his plans. He wasn't meant to be a father is what he always told himself.

Truth is, the only 3 people he actually cared about was Thr boss, his former lover and Rachel. And now he had lost all 3. He is now even more mentally broken then before. And this is exactly what the villains wanted. Kai had let a few tears fell. "i'm sorry Rachel.."

And then we should not forget about Eijiro, he didn't stop crying for an entire week and only left his room if he had to eat. He wished he could have saved her. He wished that he could have told her how much he loved her but that now isn't possible anymore. But he did what she had asked him to do and stayed strong and lived the life he always wanted.

and that is how Rachel Chisaki died due Suicide

#kirishima x oc #bnha oc #original character #bnha #mha #one shot #Bnha one shot #eijiro kirishima #overhaul #kai Chisaki #tw: suidice

[yoohyeontual]

.

#i was going to sleep but I just broke down crying #it’s so hard guys #i wanna stay strong for him and not worry him #but I really can’t I am not strong I never been #it hurts so much #I’ve through that once but Bunny it was so sudden it was less hard #with Puppy it could go on for years which I really hope it does cause I don’t wanna lose him #but it’s so stressful thinking that any day could be his last idk how I’ll survive this #my mental state is worsening everyday I’m really trying hard to be strong but it’s impossible #he’s also the main reason why I’m still alive cause I remind myself that if I was gone he would miss me and look for me and I get better #him and Sowon are my only source of joy since 2019 #losing him will be loosing a part of me all over again #he’s only 12 and all dogs his breed I know lived to 18 it’s so unfair for me I always hope it would be the same for him like Bunny #I’m sorry I didn’t wanna go all depress on here but I’m crying and couldn’t stop and no one is awake right now I need to write to calm down #I’m okay most of the time but 2 nights in a row my mom been freaking out and making me think of the worst #and now that I had a night to empty my mind Friday something happened with puppy making me terrified of loosing him #and I was suppose to go to a concert on May 7th another day that I thought I could empty my mind and it’s canceled #no one wants me to have a break thank god bestie is still coming to see me #I’m gonna cry when I see her 😭 #that is if she dosen’t end up canceling for a reason cause she live far away anything could happen so she can’t come here 😔 #i wouldn’t be surprise at that point I’m hoping not #now that I’ve calm down a little I kinda wanna go hug puppy but I go see him I feel like if I ’ll break down crying again 😭 #i should just go to sleep and not bother him I gotta tell myself he’s okay he’s sleeping at my place cause my blanket is his favorite #and tomorrow I’ll wake up and he will be like like everyday excited to see me and i’ll hug him 🥺 #alex.txt #do not reblog #tw sick pet #tw sick dog #tw pet death mention

[yannadere]

daryl dixon, shane walsh and glenn rhee (separate) reacting to their s/o getting bit

cw: loss, depression, unhealthy coping, suicide, angst, hurt/comfort

Daryl Dixon:

you're scared to tell him

he's lost so much even before the apocalypse, you don't want to hurt him

trying to distance yourself from daryl doesn't work at all

he just gets worried, which comes across as him being angry, and he clings to you

poor bby has abandonment issues

it's a few days after you get bit when you finally tell him, you already feel your health deteriorating but you hold up for him

you tell him when he's getting ready to settle for the night

bc evenings with you are when he's the most calm

"hey, daryl?" you mumble, and he hums softly, eyes still closed. "hey, look at me. i have to tell you something." you sigh, nudging his arm with your uninjured hand. "what?" he groans, finally looking at you. "i.. my hand isn't just cut, daryl..." you sigh, unraveling the bandages. "what'dya mean?" daryl's brows furrow, eyes falling onto the bandages as they fall.

his blood goes cold, and he sits up suddenly and grabs your wrist to observe the nasty bite on the side of your hand, between your thumb and forefinger. "damn it, why didn't you tell me?!" he snaps, stopping to take a breath as you flinch back slightly. "c'mere..." he sighs, pulling you into a tight hug. "i'm so sorry..." you whisper clutching his shirt tightly. "sh, it's okay... i... when you go, i'll be here."

"daryl... you shouldn't have to do that..." you close your eyes, tears slowly falling. "nah. it's fine. i... i wanna do it. i don't trust anyone else to. not even you." he holds you tighter, kissing your neck gently.

"i'm so sorry, daryl... i was being stupid, i-" he silences you, moving away and pressing his forehead against yours. "don't blame yourself. i knew something like this would happen eventually... i put merle down, had a feeling either of us would go next." he gently cups your face with his hands, wiping your cheeks and nuzzling his nose against yours affectionately.

"i don't want to put you through this, daryl." you cry, going to leave when he pulls you back. "don't leave... please don't leave..." daryl begs, pulling you back to him and letting your body fall limp against his. you let out a small sob, wrapping your arms around his middle as your head rests on his shoulder, tears dampening his shirt.

"it'll be okay. i'll take care of it. for now, get some rest. i'll be here when you wake up." he kisses your cheek, waiting for you to calm down. you sniffle, holding him tightly. "i'm so sorry..!" you repeat the words over and over, and he closes his eyes, trying not to cry himself.

"shh... please... don't be sorry." his voice wavers and he hates it. "just sleep, darlin'... i'm right here." you whimper before falling quiet, resting your hand on his jaw and nuzzling into his neck. "i love you, okay..? i didn't want it to be this way." you breathe out, letting him lean onto you slightly. "i know. i know. just sleep for me, darling." he sniffles, cradling you close as you fall asleep slowly, knowing it would be the last time.

you fall asleep in his arms, but he can't bring himself to harm you

so, he tells rick, who's also upset upon the news

however his best friend's distress makes it even worse

so, rick does it for him as the others try to comfort daryl

after your death, he becomes reckless and depressed, not eating or drinking at all and becoming skinny and malnourished

he shoots openly at walkers, and when his ammo's out he takes out his anger on other walkers in other ways

whether it's stabbing them, bludgeoning them, or just hitting their bodies after they fall.

rick decides to put him under close watch to ensure he doesn't harm himself

but daryl's rather experienced in sneaking out/away, and he visits your grave often

unfortunately one morning, rick finds him at your grave with a bullet in his head

he's buried next to you, as rick knows it's what daryl craved

to be with you again.

Shane Walsh:

you got bit on the way back from gathering medical supplies for carl

and with shane you knew there was no way he would take well at any time of the day

so you decide to rip the bandaid off and talk to him an hour after your own little grieving session.

you approach him when he's talking to the small group, asking him for a private talk, saying it's important

so, of course, he's worried, as are the group

you take him behind the barn and hug him

he's genuinely confused as to why you're acting like this

deadass asks you if you're expecting or smth

you hate to break his heart

"so why did you bring me back here?" shane asks, crossing his arms and cocking a hip. "shane... i'm sorry." you sigh, pulling the collar of your shirt to reveal the bloody bite on your shoulder.

he's speechless, blinking a few times before almost collapsing. you yelp, catching your boyfriend quickly, but fall under his weight. on the floor behind the barn, shane closes his eyes, crying as he holds you tight. "shane... don't cry. it's okay..." you try your best to smile, cupping his face and wiping his tears.

"this isn't okay..! baby, you're not okay!" he sobs, cupping the back of your head and pulling you closer. "shane- baby, stop crying... it's okay." you sniffle, smiling through your own tears as you kiss his jaw lovingly

shane tries to gather himself, but his whole world feels like it's collapsing. "shh, shh... c'mon, let's get you some water." you grab his hands, trying to pull him up. slowly easing him onto his feet, you help shane back to the house. rick spots you two immediately, stumbling to help you both. "shane-?"

"rick..!" shane is clearly distraught, and his best friend latches onto him quickly to try and calm him down. "shshsh- hey, look at me." rick soothes, and you stand back slightly, trying to calm your nerves. "what happened?" rick demands, eyes steeling as he stares at you. "rick- it's not-" you try to explain what happened, when shane answers for you. "they got bit! my baby got bit..!" shane sobs, knees feeling weak as he almost collapses again.

rick processes the information, looking at you in shock. lori overhears, muttering a fast "oh my god..!" as she approaches the three of you. "how did this happen?!" rick asks, trying to support shane fully. "i was in a rush, i got grabbed and..." you trail off, moving over to comfort shane who can't calm down at all.

"he needs to sit down..." you say softly, glancing at hershel who was observing from his porch. "come, sit him down inside. i'll get him some water." hershel guides you and you help shane in with the aid of rick. flopping down onto a couch, shane can't seem to catch his breath, so you crouch in front of him to cup his face, whispering comforting words to him. "baby... i'm so sorry, it should of been me..!" shane cries, and you hush him quickly. "don't you dare say that, shane walsh." you scold, pulling him into a tight hug.

"never blame yourself for my death. i wouldn't rest easy if you did." you sigh, smoothing his hair and kissing his temple. rick stands anxiously nearby, and you sense his worry. "sit, rick. relax... i've got this." you nod at him, and he nods stiffly, taking a seat of his own when lori pipes up. "when do you think you'll turn?" she asks, and you freeze. "lori-!" "i'm just thinking ahead, rick!"

shane becomes more distraught by her words, clinging onto you tightly. "shh, it's okay... i'm here, bubs." you sigh, cradling him impossibly closer. "the hell's goin' on?" maggie asks, confused as ever. "not now, please..." rick sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "right..." she mumbles, leaving as hershel comes back with some water. "here, drink some of this, son." he nods, giving the glass to you so shane could take it.

after taking a few sips, shane goes back to codding you, slowly winding down. "there you go, just breathe." you smile, kissing him gently. "i'm sorry i couldn't protect you..!" shane hiccups, nuzzling your neck. "shh. don't say that..!" you sigh, holding him tighter. your boyfriend whines softly, and rick closes his eyes with a pained sigh.

you last a few more days before turning, spending your time slowly becoming more sick with shane next to you all the while.

when you turn, shane is devastated, holding your head as you stare up at him with discoloured eyes

he ignores how you try to bite him after a few minutes of your brain losing all memory of him, and his tears drip down onto your face

rick walks in, and sighs. he knew it would happen eventually... everyone did.

shane holds you for a few minutes. you were slowly gaining strength but he was always stronger.

the room is silent except for you little noises, and shane finally accepts this fate when rick puts a hand on his shoulder.

"let me do it..." his best friend gruffly says, and shane shakes his head. "leave 'em be, rick... just for a little while longer..." shane begs, and rick sighs, looking away briefly.

"you know i can't do that. if you or anyone get bit-" "rick, i am asking you nicely. leave."

he spends a few days with you in walker form, and it scares everyone. lori tries to convince him that you're not there anymore, a hollow vessel of what you once were but he wont buy it.

he loves you too much to believe anything like that, or hurt you. to him, you're still his darling, his everything who held him when times got tough.

you scratch at his arms, not even breaking skin due to your blunt nails, and he doesn't mind.

finally, with a few kisses around your pale, sunken face, and a final kiss to your lips that he forced closed- shane raises his gun.

he hesitates, letting you get the jump on him, but he grabs your jaw before you can do anything

the sudden commotion makes rick fly in, only to see you lifeless once more in shane's arms.

Glenn Rhee:

unlike the other two, he watches you get bit.

he's completely distraught as the rest of the group fight off the walkers whilst he makes his way to you

he rams the zombie with all his strength, knocking it down before shooting it

you've collapsed, sat back against the car door as blood seeps from your cheek, whimpering in pain and holding the gash with your blood-soaked hands.

he's crying before he knows it, dropping down next to you and carefully covering your cheek with his shaky hands.

he tries to reassure you, and himself, that you'll be fine and won't get infected,

but the sad look in your eyes confirm that you're not making it to the date he wanted to take you on tomorrow

as you slowly bleed out, he tries to tell you stories, to keep himself calm as you slowly die.

"hey, remember when..?" you're not paying attention, just admiring him as you move your hands to cup his face.

"i love you.." you croak with a small smile, and he smiles sadly, sobbing all the while.

the others have to watch, all waiting for the inevitable

"please don't leave me... please, i need you." glenn pleads, and you smile sadly.

he's pressing kisses to your forehead as you hold him close, your blood staining his hands, arms and shirt

"baby...?" glenn mumbles softly, sitting with you leant against him. "i'm still here, darling..." you whisper, gripping his shirt tightly. "i'm gonna miss you..." glenn sniffles, kissing the top of your head gently. "me too. i'll always be with you, okay. when i go, i don't want you to be sad. i want you to keep going, to find happiness again, even if it means finding love in another. i want the best for you." you smile, despite the ache in your cheek.

glenn breathes out as his eyes close, his tears still falling. "i could never replace you like that..." he whimpers, fingers curling into your hair as he holds you closer. "baby, don't cry... don't cry, because i'll cry." you try to laugh, and glenn laughs too, gently rubbing your uninjured cheek.

"glenn, we've got to, y'know..." rosita sighs, but glenn shakes his head. "no! we don't kill the living..!" glenn protests, his hold turning protective. "right, right... okay." she fakes surrender, walking away.

when you pass, glenn just knows. he doesn't even look at you. he can't bring himself to.

however, when you turn, he doesn't even bother to restrain you, just holding you close as you bite into his neck.

abraham shouts in alarm, shooting you instantly, and glenn cries as you fall, cupping your face and leaning down to press his forehead against you.

the group is distraught, but glenn just lets everything happen, telling them to leave him be, move on.

abraham gives him a spare pistol, and glenn takes it with a nod.

the group leaves, and glenn knows what he has to do. so, he opens the car door, slipping you into the car easily

he gets in himself, closing the door so walkers wouldn't chew on you or him.

alas, glenn admires the gun before pressing it to his chin.

#tw su*cide #cw angst #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon #twd daryl #twd rick #twd shane #shane walsh x reader #shane walsh #glenn rhee x reader #glenn rhee #twd glenn #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Come Back Home (Bucky x reader)

Come back home

Bucky x reader

Word count: 3,061

Summary: You were getting worse and were afraid to hurt Bucky, but unable to hide it. Instead of talking it out, you ran away. Embarrassed and afraid, you avoid the calls and voicemails from the man you left. But one night, you can’t help but listen to them, and you need to hear his voice.

Warnings: depression, reader blames herself, Bucky blames himself, anxiety attack, lots of tears, lots of fluff and comfort

I actually got this idea from @thelifeof.jana on TikTok, she posts different scenarios with comfort characters and I wanted to make it into a fic. 

Tags: @buckfics @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @stucky-on-spiderman @thatfangirl42 @thundering-barnes   

A/N: It’s nearly finals week and it is CRUNCH TIME so I’ve been writing when I can, I apologize for the sporadic-ness of it. Thanks for sticking with me! 

A/N 2: I left a few things to interpretation, such as a nightmare. Insert what you want, I know everyone has different experiences and I wanted this to be as relatable to as many people as I could. I also left out when y/n gives an address because 1) I don’t know New York and 2) It’s likely somebody’s address in real life so...interpretation. 

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Your phone began ringing, piercing the otherwise silent house and startling you

Answer it.

You stared at the phone, taking a deep breath.

Ring 

You picked it up and turned it over, closing your eyes and letting a breath out.

Don’t answer it.

You looked at the screen again, seeing the name of your favorite person.

Bucky…

Ring 

Answer it

No. 

Please, I wanna hear his voice.

I can’t

Ring

Letting a breath out, you put the phone down and sat on the floor next to your bed, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Then you were left in the silence once again.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, waiting a few more seconds for the next noise. Sure enough, your phone made a sound, notifying you of yet another voicemail.

Another addition to your library of ignored messages.

You picked up your phone, clicking to see the messages you never listened to.

25 unheard messages. All of them from Bucky. 

Your finger hovered over them for a moment, allowing yourself to ponder listening to them. But you sighed, closing your phone and placing it back on the nightstand. You couldn’t listen to them. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be able to resist calling him back. And you couldn’t take that risk. 

You’d spent this much time without him. Once you heard his voice you’d be spilling everything to him. Just like you used to. Which is why you left in the first place. 

Bucky was special to you. He always had been. Despite all the trauma he’d gone through, he was still kind and gentle. He had been the one to pull you out of the dark place you were in at the time. He was always there to talk to you, listen to you, or help you take care of yourself when you just couldn’t anymore. He’d sat through many of your panic attacks and calm you down if you had a nightmare, just as you would for him. He would drop anything for you, you always came first.

And that was the problem.

He did too much for you, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. This man had already gone through so much pain and suffering and was finally getting better. He was going out more and the nightmares happened much less often. You were grateful for the love he gave you, and you loved him more than anything.

Which is why you couldn’t bring him down anymore. So, one day when he was out on a mission, you had packed up your few positions and left him a note.

Bucky,

I just wanted you to know that I love you so much, but I have to go now. I’m sorry. 

-Y/n

You had to keep it brief. If you said anything more you knew you’d say too much, and it would only make leaving harder. And if he knew you were leaving because you were hurting too much, he wouldn’t stop until he found you.

Not that he wasn’t looking for you know.

You had rented out a room in the cheapest hotel your could find in somewhere-New-York-City. It was small, it wasn’t the cleanest, but it was fine. You didn’t care, it was functional. Within hours of leaving, your phone started ringing. Not that you answered. You couldn’t, not when you would start crying once you heard his voice.

You got many texts and calls that night. 

What happened?

Where are you? Y/n are you okay??

Tell me where you are, we can talk this out, please.

You couldn’t bring yourself to read more than that. You silenced his messages and let the calls go to voicemail, never able to bring yourself to reject a call, instead letting it ring all the way until he got the same voicemail message every time.

Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!

The same fake cheery message every time, giving an empty promise.

What you didn’t know was that on the other end of the line, Bucky was shattering a bit more with each voicemail he left. 

Bucky’s POV:

He couldn’t understand what could have happened. Why you had left all of a sudden. He knew you had some bad days, and the first time he had read it he was terrified that you had done something. He usually was able to see when things were getting bad again but he couldn’t think of what he could have missed. When he saw that you had read his texts that night, seeing the word read appear after a few of them, he told himself that you were okay. 

Because he didn’t know what he was going to do if you weren’t.

What you didn’t know was that you had helped Bucky just as much if not more so than he had helped you. His nightmares happened less often because you were there with him every night. He was more outgoing because you had dragged him out to those first few bars and parties. He felt happier because he was helping you, and you made him feel safe and wanted.

And then you left.

He couldn’t sleep most nights, worried about you. Most of the nights he did sleep, he dreamt about you and everything that could have happened. He called you every day, multiple times, needing desperately to hear your voice. He withdrew again, only going on one mission when the team absolutely needed him. It was his only sense of purpose anymore, but it meant nothing compared to what you had meant to him

But you didn’t know that. Because you hadn’t opened any of his messages yet. 

It was late now, and Bucky was discouraged. It had been over a week since you had left, and his texts had gone unread ever since a the first night you left. It wasn’t a long time. But it was still too long. He decided to try your phone once more. 

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Bucky closed his eyes, begging you would pick up, silently knowing you wouldn’t.

Ring 

Ring 

“Hi, it’s y/n. Leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can, have a nice day!”

Sighing, he got ready to leave a voicemail. After the beep he said, broken.

“Please y/n. Come back home.”

Your POV:

You sighed as yet another round of rings echoed through your apartment, hearing the notification soon after, notifying you of yet another new voicemail. 

You looked at the time. 11:03 P.M.

You sighed, knowing you should get some sleep. But no matter how tired you were, you knew that once you closed your eyes, you would have nightmares again. And no one would be here this time. 

You couldn’t deny it, you weren’t doing well. Your appetite had diminished and you relied heavily on caffeine to supplement the sleep you refused to get. Not that it helped your appetite in any way.

You would go through the motions, make it to work (most days) and get through the day just to...get through the day. You weren’t living really. Just surviving. You knew it was getting bad again, some nights so dark you weren’t sure if you would see the light the next day. Yet you couldn’t let yourself call him. You didn’t want to hurt him.

But you didn’t know that you had already hurt him more by leaving than you ever could’ve by staying.

You sighed, knowing that eventually, you were going to need to sleep. Might as well try to. You didn’t know if for sure you would have a nightmare, so may as well try?

That turned out to be wishful thinking.

Major wishful thinking. 

You woke up screaming, drenched in sweat and looking around the room frantically. When you realized it was just a dream, you put your face in your hands and felt tears immediately prick your eyes.

When was this going to stop?

You felt your chest contract as you realized the truth. It wasn’t. Not like this at least.

Just over a week and you were already at your breaking point.

Call him

You looked at the time. 2:47 AM.

You couldn’t call him now.

Call him.

You opened your phone and found Bucky’s contact, finger hovering over the name once again. At the last second, you clicked your voicemail inbox instead, scrolling back down to the first one on the night you left.

“Y/n?”

Your breath hitched as you heard his voice, fresh tears pricking your eyes. Not just from his voice and how much you had missed it, but also the absolute panic in his voice.

“Where are you? Are you okay? Why- why did you leave? Please, answer the phone, I need to know you’re okay.”

You clicked on another one from a few hours later.

“Y/n, please, I saw you read the first few texts I sent. Please answer the phone. We can talk this out, whatever it is just - please call me.”

Tears were falling from your eyes, and you didn’t have it in your power or even the desire to stop them. You flicked to another one that was sent a few days later, this one was longer. 

“Please y/n,” it started, his voice soft and cracking with emotion. “Where are you? Just - just tell me where you are, please. I need you. These past few days it’s like I hear your voice and then there’s nothing. I miss you so much. I’m nothing without you please....please just come back home. I don’t care what you did or think you did or why you left. I love you. And I could never stop loving you. I can come get you, we can talk this out. Please. I can’t do this without you. I - I’m falling apart.”

You were now sobbing as you flicked over to your text messages and clicked on Bucky’s name, seeing texts upon texts from him.

One of the more recent one’s caught your attention.

“I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong?”

Never, never in your heart did you ever think Bucky would think that he had done something to drive you away. Your heart broke, realizing he could be blaming himself for your leaving. It was never his fault. It could never be his fault.

With shaking hands, you pressed the phone icon below his name, bringing the phone to your ear as you listened to it ring.

You tried to control your breathing through the tears, falling apart after a few seconds of thinking you had it together.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Please pick up, I need to hear your voice.

Ring 

I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Ring 

Please, I -

“Hello?”

Your breath hitched and your eyes flew open. Your words got caught in your mouth, having no idea what to say. Bucky, on the other side of the line, hadn’t even looked at the caller ID. He hadn’t fully fallen asleep yet, but the tiredness was evidence in his voice.

“Hello?” he said again

“I’m sorry,” you choked out.

Bucky’s eyes flew open and he pulled away his phone, seeing your name across the screen. All exhaustion was gone from his body, and he heard you trying to control your breathing on the other side of the line.

“Y/n?”

“I’m so sorry…” you said again, breaking out into sobs.

“Y/n, can you tell me what’s wrong? Where are you?” he said, panicked and getting out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shoes.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m so sorry,” you said again, not being able to say much else. 

“Y/n, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay. But I need you to tell me where you are, can you do that for me?”

He waited for a moment while you tried to pull yourself together enough to repeat the address of the hotel.

As you did, Bucky was already out the door and in the car, starting it and putting you on speaker, driving as fast as he could to the hotel and ignoring all traffic signals. It was the middle of the night, and you were not okay.

“I’ll be there soon, angel, can you keep talking to me?

“I’m sorry Bucky…”

“It’s okay y/n. You’re okay. We’re okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

His words didn’t reach your ears, your breathing getting harder to control and your tears fell faster. You had fucked up, this was your fault. Why did you call him, now he knows where you are and you were going to burden him with all your shit again. 

He could hear your breathing become labored as he sped further towards your location. He tried talking to you more but he soon realized that he wouldn’t be of much use until he was in front of you. His heart was breaking and he was hoping nothing was seriously wrong. 

But you wouldn’t have called him like this if nothing was wrong.

Clenching his jaw, he scanned the street signs for yours, knowing the city well enough to know he was close. 

When he pulled up to the street, he couldn’t help but wince at how dingy this place was. It was run down and the smell was putrid. He was so sad that this was where you had run off to. He took his phone, saying how he was here but it fell upon deaf ears. You weren’t calm enough to hear his voice from the phone you had dropped when you had moved to cover your face instead.

Bucky took the stairs 3 at a time, getting to your room in record time. He pounded on the door, trying the knob even though he knew it would be locked. Calling out your name and getting no response, he decided to break the door in. It was barely hanging on its hinges anyway.

“Y/n? Y/n where are you?” he called out, met only with the sounds of your labored breathing. He followed it to your room, where you had curled yourself into a ball against the headboard, hands covering your face as you struggled to breathe. 

He walked over to your side, reaching out his hand but thinking better at the last moment. He needed to make sure you knew that he was there, he didn’t want to scare you.

“Y/n?” he starts softly. 

You lifted your head and looked around yourself wildly, startled when you saw the figure of a man standing in front of you, trying to push him away. He grabbed your arms and you tried to break free

How did he get in here? 

What does he want with me? 

Why- 

Your eyes settle on his. Light blue eyes, staring right back into yours. You knew them, you were safe with them. Your own eyes, red  and blotchy flash with realization and you let out a sob. 

“Bucky…”

He took you into his arms as sobs wracked your body, rubbing an arm up and down your back in efforts to calm your shaking form. He was repeating comforting words over and over again. You clung to his shirt as you kept apologizing over and over again, not knowing what else to say - or even how to say it. 

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“Shh, y/n, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m here. I got you.”

You tried to focus on his heartbeat, steady and strong, as you tried to take deep breaths. Eventually your tears slowed down as you still clung to him, tears drying on your face as you were able to deepen your breathing to match his. His hand still rubbed up and down your back as the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes.

You took a shaky breath. “I - I’m so sorry Bucky.”

Bucky took a deep breath and held her a little more tightly. He could still feel her heart racing. What could she possibly have to be sorry for?

“What happened y/n?”

You felt tears prick your eyes again. Sadness, shame, embarrassment and made you feel sick to your stomach. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you were able to speak. 

“I - I don’t know.”

“Please y/n. Tell me why you left.”

“I just… I was… “ you swallowed and let out a shaky breath. “It was getting bad again,” you said, voice barely audible. 

Bucky clenched his jaw, angry at himself that he didn’t see it. “Why didn’t you tell me? I told you you could talk to me about anything.”

You screwed your eyes shut. “That was the problem…”

Bucky pulled you back to look at you. “What?”

Your eyes darted everywhere but Bucky’s face. You didn’t want to see the pained expression you knew he’d have right now. You took a deep breath. 

“I just… you were doing so well. And I - I just felt so bad for bringing you down all the time. You would drop anything for me, and you were always there and you were always perfect but I wasn’t.” you finally looked at him. “And I left because I realized I was never going to be.” You shook your head slightly. “I didn’t want to put you through that when you were doing so well.”

You looked away, unable to look at Bucky’s sad eyes any longer. Bucky broke the silence after a few moments. “You were the only reason I was better.”

 Now it was your turn to look at him confused. “What?”

“You brought me out to places when all I wanted was to hide. The nightmares stopped because you were there to make me feel safe. Every time I helped you, I was helping me too,” he said, voice cracking. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You weren’t too much for me, you never could be.” 

When you still looked unsure, he moved his hand to cup your cheek. “It’s okay to let people help you, y/n.”

Tears pooled in your eyes once again. That had been what you had said to him when he began closing himself off, be it an intense nightmare or being triggered. Back when things were bad. Like they were for you now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s okay.” he whispered, hugging you again. “Let’s go home.”

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #buckybarnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #buck #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x you #bucky barns x y/n #MCU #mcu imagine #MCU fanfiction #mcu fic #depression #feeling like a burden #sorry for being depressing #im sorry #i needed this #marvel fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfiction #i’m sad #sad boi hours #im stressed #i hate studying #so im writing this instead #bucky barnes comfort

[24hlevi]

can i just say that i've just finished reading that angst headcanons/imagines/scenarios or whatever it's supposed to be called about the boys reacting to y/n dying and i'm just...i'm just a sobbing mess.

it's well-written so 1000/10 for that, but whY MUST YOU ATTACK MY HEART IN THIS MANNER???? i love your work, but my poor heart ack-

btw is there any possibility to ask for a request for a same scenario but for kazutora, mitsuya, and hanma? like for kazutora's part, imagine if it wasn't yknow who died but its y/n 🥲

omg you’re so nice first of all thank you 😭 and OMG YES

TR Boys Reaction To You Dying Pt. 2

Tokyo Revengers Boys (Kazutora, Shuji, & Takashi) X Gn!Reader

Genre: Pure Angst

Warnings: Swearing, Suicide (kind of? it’s what happened to baji did so idk what to label it as 🤷‍♂️)

Hanemiya Kazutora:

All Kazutora could think was that it was all his fault that this happened. He was too caught up in his own world that he didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. He didn’t even know you had shown up to the fight until he stabbed you instead of Baji.

“Y/n?” Kazutora asked, dropping the knife immediately when he saw you standing between him and Baji, blood dripping onto the ground below you. He completely froze, not knowing what he had just done or why he even did it. “Baby, are you okay?”

You held onto the stab wound, coughing up blood as you looked at your boyfriend. “I just wanted you…to stop.” You choked out before collapsing to your knees.

Everyone had stopped and was watching you by now, shocked that you had even protected Baji from both sides when your whole body landed on the car below you. Spitting blood out of your mouth, you laid on your back, staring up at the blue sky that was dusted with white clouds.

“Y/n!”

You heard multiple people yell your name, but you couldn’t even tell who it was until you saw Kazutora kneeling beside you. “Y/n! Keep your eyes open, okay?!”

You shook your head from side to side, raising your hand to put it on Kazutora’s face before quietly speaking, “Give it to me, the knife.”

“What? Why? Look, Y/n you just gotta stay awake okay?” Kazutora spoke fast, clearly freaking out on both the outside and inside, not even caring about the gang fight anymore.

“Hand it over, Kazutora.” You said his full name which caused him to go quiet, staring down at you with saddened eyes before handing you the knife that already had your blood on it. “Thank you, babe. I love you.” You told him.

“I love you too, Y/n.” Kazutora said to you.

You bundled up your shirt at the top, putting it in your mouth so you had something to bite down on before plunging the knife into your stomach and twisting it around, then pulling it back out and dropping it.

Kazutora wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him as you lived your last moments, and he couldn’t even say anything. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I always will love you.” Was all he said after you died.

Kazutora then took the blame for killing you, resulting im him ending up in jail again but he wasn’t angry about it. He was just sad. So sad that he didn’t even try to get out of jail and get back into the gang life. He just sat around, continuously saying,

“It’s all my fault.”

Hanma Shuji:

Shuji swore that he would never allow you to get hurt while he was away doing gang activities that he didn’t want you included in. That’s why he always had someone beside you and a bodyguard to make sure you would always be safe. But even then, it didn’t work.

It was half past 1 in the morning when Shuji’s phone rang while he was with the other Valhalla members, beating up some random other gang member. Shuji stopped punching the other male, standing up straight and took his phone out of his pocket and opened it, answering. “Yes?”

“Shuji…”

Shuji’s breath hitched when he heard your shaky and quiet voice, and he immediately knew that something was wrong. “Y/n? Where are you, darling? Is something wrong?”

“I’m…at home. B-But someone..got in.” You tried your best to reply, but it was coming out shaky and slow. 

“I’ll be there in five minutes. I promise, baby. Okay? I love you.” Shuji told you before turning around and looking at everyone, taking the phone away from his ear. “Kazutora, you’re in charge until I get back, understand? As for everyone else, just do what you’re told.” He said to everyone, proceeding to then walk out and make his way onto the streets when he started to sprint down the different roads. 

Now he was just making sure that he made it to your place in five minutes like he said he would, which usually he would be able to do easily, but he was more determined now that he had heard something had gone wrong whilst he was away. Upon reaching your place, he saw the front door opened already and he quickly rushed inside. “Y/n?! Baby, where are you?!” He called out as he started to run through every room in the house. 

He finally made it to your room where you laid on the floor, a puddle of blood beneath you as you were taking shallow and slow breaths. “Y/n!” Shuji yelled out your name, going over to you and kneeling down beside you. He grabbed you and lifted you up, holding you in his arms as he checked for your pulse. When he felt it he let out a sigh of relief but it was very weak and barely noticeable which made him realize he probably only had a few more moments with you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. For not being here when I should have. I’m so fucking stupid, I should have just stayed here with you. I’m sorry, darling. I’m sorry.” Shuji said to you, his voice cracking halfway through as tears welled up in his eyes.

You looked up at him and smiled lightly despite you dying in his arms. “It’s okay, Shuji. Don’t...blame yourself. I still love you.” You had never seen the boy cry before, that’s how you knew that he did really love you, that he wasn’t just saying it so he could manipulate or get things from you. 

“I love you too.” Shuji whispered out. 

Soon enough, your head went limp and your eyes were stuck open, all of the life drained from your face as blood dirtied the floor and Shuji’s clothes. “Y/n? Y/n? Wake up, please.” The boy pleaded to your now deceased body, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to get you back. Not ever again. 

Shuji became what you would have never wanted him to become, a terrible person who killed anyone if they even looked at him the wrong way, and most importantly, one that drank all of his feelings after the day was over, crying to himself over your death still. 

Because he would never get you back. And he regretted that the most.

Mitsuya Takashi:

Takashi was the most important person in your life, just like you were to him. He had told you on multiple occasions that he wanted to be with you forever. And he thought it would really happen. Boy, was he wrong. So, so wrong. 

You two were walking down the busy street, eating street food while going inside stores and just admiring the night scenery. Everything was going perfectly normal, until it all changed within a few seconds. 

“Hey, babe?” Takashi said, looking over at you.

“Yeah?” You repled. 

“Do you wanna get married some day in the future?” 

The question that came out of your boyfrien’s mouth shocked you, and you didn’t know how to reply. You both were still teenagers, how the hell were you supposed to know? “Only if it’s you I’m marrying.” You aswered with a smile. 

Takashi smiled back and pressed his lips against yours before pulling away quickly after. “Same here.” He told you. 

Suddenly, car tires screeched on the black cement road and one zoomed around, an all black van. It’s windows opened and guns pointed out of them before they started to fire. Takashi quickly wrapped his body around you and covered you with his, not even caring if he would end up getting killed because of it. 

After the car drove off, Takashi looked at you and asked in a frantic voice, “Y/n, are you okay?”

You looked at him, then down to your side, shaking your head as you spat out blood. Takashi’s eyes widened as he yelled out your name, but you had collapsed onto the ground, grabbing at your abdomen where the gunshot wound was, blood beginning to soak through your clothes and onto the sidewalk below you. 

“No, no, no. Y/n! Stay with me!” He yelled, taking his phone out of his pocket and about to call the polce when you grabbed his hand, stopping him. “What?”

“Don’t. It’s okay.” You told him, a small smile on your face. 

“It’s not okay! I can’t lose you! We-We just talked about getting married some day!” The boy continued to yell.

“Maybe...in another life, we will.” You spoke barely above a whisper, your vision starting to darken and turn blurry. “I love you, Mitsuya Takashi.”

“I love you too, Y/n.” Takashi replied to you but you didn’t respond. “Y/n?” He reached his hand over and shook you gently, and when you didn’t move he looked at your face, then realizing that you were gone. He sat on the ground, and put his hands over his face, beginning to cry. 

Takashi cried and mourned over your death everyday, despite people telling him to move on. He just couldn’t. He would never be able to find someone he would love like he loved you. He knew that. So that’s how it remained the rest of his life. Lonely, and depressed. 

#tokyo revengers #tokyorev #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyorev x reader #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora hanemiya x reader #kazutora x reader #kazutora scenarios #hanma shuji #hanma shuuji x reader #shuji x reader #hanma scenario #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya scenarios #mitsuya takashi x reader #request #anon ask #answered

[sugamamacustard]

Let me help you

Pairing:  Alpha! Toru Oikawa x Omega! Reader, Alpha! Hajime Iwaizumi x Omega! Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, Hurt/comfort.

Request: Because I like a bit of hurt/comfort, and I love the idea of an omega depression, I'm curious on how alpha third years on Aoba Johsai (so like Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Mattsun) would do in response to their omega being in an omega depression.

Summary: Because of unseen circumstances, you drop, and you drop hard. How does your alpha help you/redeem himself?

Author’s Note:  Oikawa’s got really long, so I didn’t include Mattsun or Makki. If you wanna request a part 2 I’ll get on it right away!

Requests: Open!

Toru Oikawa

➵ Truth be told, it was kind of his fault. 

➵Right after you both bonded, he immediately seemed to drop any redeeming qualities he had while courting you.

➵He skipped out on dates, stayed later and later at practice, gave the mile to his fangirls.

➵And while you could get over that, the worse thing you realized was when you went to cheer him on at one of his games. 

➵His bond mark was covered with a scent gland bandage and when Iwaizumi noticed it (He knew of your bonding), he sent a worried glance your way.

➵He could practically see the heartbreak from his place on the court. 

➵What was worse was that you didn’t make a scene. 

➵You stood, turned and left. That was it. 

➵ Oikawa was busy doing his pre-game whatever to notice, making the situation even worse.  

➵Iwaizumi wanted to follow you but the whistle of the ref called him back. 

➵ You didn’t want Iwaizumi to follow you anyway. 

➵You felt numb. So, so numb. 

➵Like anything you previously felt-- any longing, or wishing for your alpha-- reduced to a numb buzz that kept your body moving. 

➵You felt like you were on Autopilot. 

➵Toru made it fairly obvious that he wanted your bond mark on display, so why weren’t the same standards held to him? It wasn’t against the rules of volleyball-- several alphas had theirs out on proud display with their omega cheering in the stands. 

➵Was it you?

➵God, you felt so empty. Like your will to live was dripping away. 

➵You felt your omega lay down, whining as they tried to figure out what was wrong. Where did you go wrong? 

➵You barely felt the soft fleece of your blankets as you settled into your nest for who knows how long. 

___

 Toru was lost. You were in the stands during warm-up last game, but was gone by half-time. Okay, fine. Maybe you had to pee. But then you didn’t show up at all after that.  While at the time it took a back burner-- because we all know how Oikawa plays-- it was now front and center. His alpha was on edge and snapped on him twice already, sending sharp throbs of pain to his temples. It had been three days since Toru had seen you, his mate, so Toru could tell that was a big reason for his frustration. But Toru didn’t know why you had been gone for three days. 

If you were sick, why didn’t you text him? Were you injured? Toru didn’t know.  His neck burnt with anticipation at the thought of you in any peril. 

Where were you?

 Shoving his way past a few fangirls, Toru made his way into the gym, racking his brain for any sort of hint. Vacation maybe and you just forgot to tell him?

 “Iwa-chan! I need your-” Toru paused, huffing when Iwaizumi roughly shoved past him. His alpha was on guard immediately, making Toru growl loudly.   “What’s you issue, Iwa? Blue-balled or something?” 

The laugh that left Iwaizumi made even him, the head alpha, shiver. “My issue? What’s yours?! You absolutely destroyed your relationship last game and ask me for help?! What the hell is wrong with you, Oikawa?!”  

Oikawa swallowed. There was no nickname. No sense of friendship in his words. They were straight malice, laced with acidic venom meant to hurt him. 

When Oikawa didn’t immediately answer, Iwaizumi continued. “You make them wear their bond mark for all the world to see, but cover yours up? What in the actual fuck is wrong with you?! How in the hell you got someone like them to glance your way for more than a second is beyond me, let alone bond you; but when you do, you fucking destroy them. You’re a failure of an alpha, Toru Oikawa.” 

Truth be told, Oikawa thought that him covering up his bond mark would save you from trouble. The less people who knew about him being mated the less people to harass you. But he was your alpha. He was supposed to make sure that didn’t happen anyway.  Fuck, Iwa was right. He was a failure. This became evident as more and more things came hurdling back at him.  He didn’t even grab his duffel before he was, quite literally, sprinting out of the gym. He didn’t care who he pushed over. He didn’t care who he snapped at. He didn’t care. He only care about one person and one person alone. 

___

You whined as hunger continued gnawing at your gut. You wanted to eat, really, but you just didn’t have the energy. You didn’t have the will. 

You still felt so numb and didn’t know where to go from here. At this point, it was clear you were in the midst of an Omega Depression, and to be fair-- that scared you. You wanted to spend the evening in your nest, restart and reboot, before talking to your alpha about it the next day. You truly didn’t mean to drop. 

But here you were. The aspect of ...starvation scared you. The aspect of no closure for yourself scared you. Death scared you. But you couldn’t fight yourself to fix it. Couldn’t bring yourself to even lift your head or stay awake for more than an hour. 

The door to your room slammed open, but you didn’t look up. It was probably your guardian coming in to try and get you to eat again. But you wouldn’t. 

Your heart dropped when the smell of burnt plastic invaded your sense. 

“No- no, no, no, no no- Please god no-” Oikawa felt his heart shatter at the sight of you. You looked like you had both feet dangling in the grave, hanging on by a loose root you grabbed onto in a last ditch effort. 

He continued repeating no while running his hands through his hair, already crying before he even set foot in your room.  When he did dare step closer, that was all it took before he was running to you, pulling you in close despite your whines of protest.  His grip on you was bruising, but he couldn’t risk letting you slip. Not again. 

“Please- please don’t leave me.” He sobbed into your shoulder, your own eyes stinging (Dehydration keeping tears from falling).  “I- I can fix this- I can fix us. Fuck- Please Y/N. Please omega, let me help you. Let me make this right!”

Though you didn’t say anything, the grip on his jacket told him all he needed to know. And though it would be a long road to recovery, you and him would conquer it. 

➵ Completely contrary to Oikawa, your drop wasn’t anyone’s fault.

➵Maybe the school systems, if there was blame to be put. 

➵So much had gone on in such a short period. 

➵You and your alpha, along with his team, had been bombarded with practice and paperwork in preparation for the upcoming tournament. 

➵But just because volleyball picked, doesn’t mean school drops off.

➵ You had essay after essay due, Unit exams which would soon fall into Final exams.

➵You and Hajime had barely even seen each other all week.

➵You both still sent each other good morning and good night texts, and if you see each other in the hallway you’ll give each other a quick peck. 

➵Honestly, it was obvious everyone was on edge. 

➵Teachers didn’t care though, they just kept piling on more, and more, and more work.

➵ And volleyball just kept getting closer and closer.

➵You stumbled into the gym with a chirp, trying to sort through the multitude of papers in your arms. 

➵Your back was aching and your arms were strained, but you couldn’t drop them. That would be a disaster. 

➵ The coach sent you a raised brow, offering a hand to help. You waved him off, sitting on the bench with a grunt.

➵Everyone was already sweaty and panting, practice in full swing. 

➵God, everyone looked so tired already. 

➵You could feel the waves of exhaustion.

➵ As they were just in deep in your bones as they were in theirs. 

___

“Did you finish filling out the registry forms?”

You looked up to the coach, nodding slowly before riffling through your papers and pulling out the ones you were looking for. You handed them to the beta, quickly going back to your notes once more. 

You noted the stumbled steps and slowed reflexes, but simply made it a point to emphasize rest with the boys. Maybe a day with no practice would do them more good then practice. 

Hajime was doing well, as usual, somehow keeping his head and energy high. You know he hasn’t gotten much rest either, and you felt for your alpha. Honestly, you just wanted one day with just you and your alpha, where you both could sleep the day away and come back good as new. 

That just sounded glorious. 

“You wouldn’t mind filling out the ref sheets either, would you?” The beta smirked, already handing you the sheets. He knew you had a tough time saying no to people older and/or bigger than you; and had you doing several things that most mangers would never touch.

It was tiring.

You reluctantly took the sheets, already starting on them. The notes you were working on were yanking from under you, the coach reading over them. 

He scoffed at your note of possibly skipping a practice. “Are you serious?” 

“I’m sorry?”

“Take a break?! These boys are on the brink of a skillful breakthrough, and you want to stop them?!” 

You closed in on yourself at the yells, trying to focus on the ref sheets. He continued yelling and berating you for the notes you made. You could feel the teams stares on you, but you also knew they wanted you to learn to stand up for yourself. They had been giving you a few minutes to try and collect yourself and if nothing happened they would step in. 

It only took seconds for you to finally break down, sobbing into your hands as the coach’s yelling reached a breaking point. The team took very time to act then and there. 

Oikawa and Kyoutani were snapping and growling, pushing him back and away from you while Hajime slid onto his knees in front of you, pulling you to his chest and kissing your bond mark. He rocked you side to side, purring and letting you cry. 

You sobbed and sobbed while the coach tried backtracking, but it was too late. The pack was on defense. One of them was in danger and they were going to make sure they all were safe. 

___

You don’t remember falling asleep, but when you wake up, your in Hajime’s arms, which are wrapped tight around your waist. 

Oikawa was on the other side of you, head on Hajime’s thigh, Makki and Mattsun were cuddling together a little to the left of you. Kyoutani was closest to you (He had a soft spot for you, almost like you were another older sister to him). You ran a hand through his hair for a moment before taking a deep breath in and out. The rest of the team was scattered in the puppy pile around you, and the gym was dark. 

In fact, everything was dark. There were chairs propped up by the door, just in case you supposed, and there were jackets littered everywhere. Your heart fluttered at the thought. 

Hajime’s arms subconsciously tightened around you, luring you back into sleep.

You, your alpha, and your pack.

#a/b/o #alpha/beta/omega #alpha/beta/omega verse #alpha/beta/omega AU #A/B/O verse #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu omegaverse #alpha oikawa #alpha oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #alpha toru oikawa x omega reader #alpha iwaizumi #alpha iwaizumi x reader #alpha Hajime Iwaizumi #Alpha hajime iwaizumi x omega reader #Iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi #hajime iwaizumi x reader

[zuko-always-lies]

The Mai-Ty Lee Divide

“The Chase”:

Mai: Wads of wet fur. (Cut to show the three girls, Azula kneeling examining the fur while Ty Lee and Mai stand behind her.) How delightful. Ty Lee: Hmm... They're not wads, more like... bundles. (Azula stands and looks around) Or bunches... It's got an "uh" sound. (Azula walks off screen, there is a slight pause.) Mai: Clumps? Ty Lee: (Delighted) Clumps! (she jumps forward grabbing Mai around the neck in a hug.) They're clumps! (Cut to Mai's blank face over Ty Lee's shoulder. She looks down, shot cuts to show the path of fur Aang made as he flew away. Shot cuts to Azula kneeling again, examining the fur as Ty Lee and Mai, in the background, break apart.)

“The Guru”:

Cut to a small building in the upper ring, at night. Inside, a smiling Ty Lee is looking in a mirror. She is wiping the last traces of her Kyoshi makeup from her face. Mai is seated next to nearby, still working on her own face. Azula paces the floor behind them.) Azula: We have been presented with an extraordinary opportunity, girls. Ty Lee: (teasingly) Mai finally gets to wear makeup that's not totally depressing? Mai: (deadpan) Ha. Ha. (she has large, dark splotches of makeup beneath her eyes)

“The Beach”:

(Cut to close shot of the elderly twins rear ends touching in the foreground, while the four teens stand looking on, confused and slightly disgusted, in the background. Zuko covers his mouth to prevent himself from getting sick. Cut to an above shot of a Maroon printed bead spread. Ty Lee lies back on to the bedspread.) Ty Lee: (snuggling against the pillow) Ooh, I love this seashell bedspread! Mai: (Cut to shot of Mai) Are you serious? It looks like the beach threw up all over it. (Cut to wide shot of the entire room, Ty Lee is still snuggling her seashell bed spread in the foreground. The other three teens stand listening to Li and Lo.)

and later

Ty Lee: Yes, I'm a circus freak. Go ahead and laugh all you want. (gestures toward Azula, who looks away) You wanna know why I joined the circus? Azula: Here we go. (Cut to an above shot of the four teens around the fire) Ty Lee: Do you have any idea what my home life was like, growing up with six sisters (cut to shot of Ty Lee) who look exactly like me? (she stands up) It was like, I didn't even have my own name. (she falls to the ground crying) I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as part of a matched set. At least, I'm different now. (close shot of teary-eyed Ty Lee) Circus freak is a compliment! Mai: (sarcastically) Guess that explains why you need 10 boyfriends, too. (Cut to shot of Ty Lee looking angrily toward Mai and putting her hands on her hips) Ty Lee: I'm sorry, what? Mai: Attention issues. You couldn't get enough attention when you were a kid, so (looking downward) you're trying to make up for it now. (Cut to shot of Ty Lee, who moves closer and closer to Mai with each accusation) Ty Lee: Well, what's your excuse, Mai? You were an only child for 15 years, but even with all that attention, your aura is this dingy, pasty, gray... (Cut to shot of Mai and Ty Lee) Mai: I don't believe in auras.

Mai and Ty Lee are consistently written as having a divide where they don’t entirely understand each other, and they’re consistently written as having issues with each other. This doesn’t mean that they’re not very close or that they don’t deeply care about each other, because there is plenty of evidence that they do. Still, they have significant differences, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Azula sometimes had to meditate between them when they were younger. 

#Azula #Mai #Ty Lee #Dangerous Ladies #Mai meta #Ty Lee meta