can we all agree that if emmett and jasper weren’t so depressed about bella drinking all the blood in the house, they would have convinced her that ej was a great name for a boy but it should stand for emmett jasper not edward jacob.
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Still reading Midnight Sun. I swear the inner logic of Esme's thoughts BAFFLE me
Esme: Edward can I have a moment with her?? I want her to be comfortable with me in Bella's first baseball game with us
Esme, five seconds after: Bella my son died and I tried to kill myself
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Hi can i get the cullens with a clingy female vampire mate
Pls i love u and ur work
aw thank you, nonny i love you too!
Cullen Clan with a clingy, female mate!Reader
Carlisle
He'll get you a job as his assistant in the hospital so you can spend more time with him
He knows vampires can't get sick but he's pretty sure you have anxiety
Once you're comfortable with being able to resist human blood in a medical environment, Carlisle will put you on the maternity unit, Forks could always use more midwives
Esme
You're clingy? That's fantastic, so now you can do everything together!
Esme spends most of her time doing charity work, like making cookies for a bake sale, so you can help her with that
You two have the cutest annual lesbian vow renewal ceremonies in the woods outside of casa Cullen, seriously they're so sweet!
Edward
You're gonna be clingy together but in a Romeo and Juliet level of clingy
Edward likes to be 'edgy clingy', so don't be surprised if he makes things more complicated than they need to be
He does love that almost all your thoughts are about how much you love him and want to be with him, he thinks its cute
Rosalie
In some way or another, I think Rosalie has always been scared of being alone so your clinginess is quite appealing
The fact that you're mates also helps confirm a lot of concerns that she had about immortality
But you can never get hurt or be uncomfortable, she will lose her shit if literally anything happens to you
Emmett
Would probably be the most stressful Cullen to be with if you're clingy, Emmett is just all over the place all the time
My boy regularly just forgoes all passenger safety laws in public, and yeah, he's an indestructible vampire, but that's not really the point
Despite how much time you spend together, he'll always find some way of screwing about whenever you take your eyes off him, like where did he get that bag of eggs?
Alice
Genuinely, she would've sought you out herself, like "Hi, my name is Alice, we've never met but we're destined to be immortal life partners!"
She knows that you're clingy and she doesn't care
She will warn you if she has a vision where you have to be apart for whatever reason so it doesn't come as a nasty shock
Jasper
Now, Jasper is probably the most nervous about you being clingy
Not that he doesn't like you being clingy, but he's worried that you might fall out of love with him when you learn how quiet and withdrawn he can be
In a way, he sort of likes that you depend on him for almost everything, it helps reinstate his antiquated concept of masculinity
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Okay but imagine new Moon.
Jasper has Y/N. And she absolutely refuses to stay in forks when they leave.
So she comes with the Cullens. (Edward is pissed about this, Jasper is just happy he doesn’t have to leave her in forks)
Shenanigans ensue, surprise motherfucker, Vampires can get humans pregnant.
As far as I remember, the Cullens stayed away for like 6 months?
Y/N and Jasper fooled around because what else are they gonna do, play chess? With a guy who lead a newborn army? No thank you he’d destroy her in chess.
She ends up pregnant.
Surprise surprise, this shit is growing fast
So basically Bellas pregnancy but they aren’t in forks, and Jasper can feel the emotions of the baby because if Edward was able to hear Renegades thoughts, Jasper can feel his kids emotions.
Of course even if this is all happening, the Cullens still don’t contact Bella.
When the whole ’Depresso Edward goes to Italy‘ saga goes on, Alice comes to Bella and eventually has to admit that there are some changes with the family except how Edward is being stupid in Europe.
Yada yada, Eddie boy is alive, the Cullens come back
”who is the child“
”why is Y/N a vampire…?“
Turns out, it’s actually quite surprising to have your boyfriends family come back home only for there to be a child that looks oddly like Jasper and Y/N and for the only other human to now be a vampire
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Why can twilight vampire venom dissolve contacts but not like, food? Could they theoretically use vamp venom for getting rid of plastic waste? Vampire venom micro plastic filter
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Alice, all Midnight Sun:
Alice: I LOVE HER EDWARD. I LOVE HEEEEEEEEER. But like obviously not as much as you. No homo lol.
Edward: Yeah of course I love her more you already have Jasper.
Alice: Who? Ah, yeah.
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