#I want him covered in dirt and on the brink of collapsing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

poisonedapples · 3 years

Text

Patton’s Home For Traumatized Kids - Chapter Four

Self Care Day

Chapter Summary: Roman finally relaxes, and Virgil attempts to help.

First Chapter Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Warnings: Anxiety, panic, mentions of past trauma and abuse, very minor self-injury (rubbing a little too hard with a loofah), food, and swearing

Chapter Word Count: 6,174

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22, @pixelated-pineapple, @acrobaticcatfeline, @astrozei, @edupunkn00b, @princey-7258, @eternalmoonlight19, @remy-the-lemon-berry, @look-ma-im-on-tv, @mariniacipher, @bigwendymonster, @nonbinary-octopus

Notes: Thank you to Cornybird on Ao3 for betareading the chapter! You’re amazing and I appreciate you <3

It was one in the morning, and Roman was next to his bed pacing in circles so fast he was getting dizzy. It was officially the weekend and he was supposed to relax, but instead his mind was rushing a mile a minute and tormenting him. He was restless and exhausted, anxious and on the brink of tears, and Roman didn’t know what to do. He just wanted it to stop.

His head was spinning from all the pacing, so Roman sat on the foot of his bed and aggressively bounced his leg instead. He felt out of control, like danger was all around him and there was nothing to stop it. He felt like his heart was in his throat, sweat dripping down his face and making it hard to breathe. Roman gripped at his hair with both hands, physically recoiling at the feeling of grease and grime and-

…Oh. Wait. It made sense now. Roman hadn’t showered in a week.

He let out a deep breath, calming a little after finding a solution to his problem. He should’ve guessed, feeling dirty always made him anxious and stressed. He hadn’t had the energy to shower, but he was at a point where he had to force himself. If he didn’t, Roman would collapse from the stress.

He picked up his phone to look at the time again. 1:28 am, possibly the worst timing to sneak into the bathroom and try to shower without waking the house up. But he couldn’t wait any longer. He was exhausted and his brain was rushing through hundreds of thoughts. He needed some hot water to calm down.

Roman took the security bar off his door and slowly stepped into the hallway. He didn’t bother grabbing clothes to change into; his pajamas were clean and he could slip back into them after drying himself off well enough. He carefully turned the knob of the bathroom and snuck himself in.

It was very quiet in the house so early in the morning. Usually when Roman was in the bathroom, he could hear the TV downstairs or people talking outside the door, but now the only noise was the sound of his breathing and a slight buzz from the bathroom light. Roman stepped on the toilet to check for cameras inside of a vent high on the wall. Frustratingly, he found nothing. Patton’s camera-hiding ability was getting very annoying.

Regardless, he checked in the drawers and around the walls as well, flipping over shampoo bottles and toothbrushes just in case. He didn’t find anything, and Roman wanted to yell. Instead, he settled for clenching his fists and trying to move on with his task.

Fortunately, the shower had an opaque curtain that could make it harder for a camera to see, and Roman felt satisfied with that. Once he figured out how the shower worked and memorized where things were placed, Roman could also go back to showering in the dark again. He’d manage.

Roman wrapped himself in a towel in order to take his clothes off, folding them neatly on the toilet so that any water falling on the ground wouldn’t drench them. He skipped turning on the vent fan so he’d be quieter, stepping into the shower and tossing the towel outside the curtain on the floor for later. His legs clamped together subconsciously as he turned on the water.

Roman felt his shoulders relax a little when the hot water hit him. It helped the grease on his face and hair feel less gross, but the heat was also relaxing. He hugged himself and let the water fall down his face for a while.

…This is weird, Roman eventually thought, interrupting the rare silence in his head. He hadn’t felt this relaxed since he left the hospital. He thought after the trial that he’d be living on cloud nine for the rest of eternity, but the opposite was happening. His past and current situation was hitting him like a brick, filling him with constant anxiety and paranoia over the smallest things. It was getting unbearable.

Roman grabbed a shampoo bottle and squirted some out, slowly rubbing it into his hair and sighing. He was probably so on edge because he still hadn’t figured out Patton’s patterns. With his dad, Roman had lived with him for so long, he could guess his feelings by just a ten second conversation. He had detailed methods to work around him, how to sneak out of the house without getting noticed by cameras and how to delay the inevitable. But Roman didn’t know what Patton was thinking, what he even really wanted. Whatever it was certainly couldn’t be good, but at least if Roman knew, he could work around it. But here, there was no such luxury.

He stood back under the shower stream and felt the grease get cleaned out of his hair. Roman needed to change that uncertain feeling as soon as possible. He probably wasn’t going to sleep tonight anyway, so he could use this time to sneak around the house and at least find a hiding spot. At Roman’s old house, he had a little nook in a broken cabinet downstairs that his dad never opened, and he never found out where Roman’s hiding spot was. Patton didn’t have a basement, but maybe he had some place Roman could fit where Patton couldn't find him. It’d help him feel better if he found somewhere.

Roman ran his hands through his hair to check for extra suds and considered his hair clean now. Thank the heavens, there was nothing worse than feeling gross and exposed. Roman grabbed a bottle of body wash to clean the rest of himself next.

This was the tricky part. Roman had a habit of scrubbing too hard, and his aunt had a very long talk with him last time he came out of the shower redder than a lobster. He didn’t want Patton asking questions, so he had to watch himself. He couldn’t afford a spiral.

He poured some of the body wash on a loofah and tried to gently scrub. He didn’t realize how gross he felt, no wonder he was having panic attacks left and right. He was covered in grease and sweat and dirt that wasn’t even being rinsed, and Roman was getting more grossed out at the thought the more he realized. He really needed to start showering daily again, his hair was so thick and oily and teenager sweat stink smelled so bad, he couldn’t afford to miss a day-

…Shit, fuck, hang on, Roman thought, pulling away the loofah from his leg to observe the damage. He’d only realized what he was doing when he started to feel a stinging burn, looking away to see pink skin. Thankfully, he’d caught himself early enough where he’d be alright. He scooped some suds from the loofah onto his hand and gently rubbed the rest of the area so it wouldn’t be irritated, careful to focus on his movements from then on so it wouldn’t happen again.

He eventually finished without any further issues, rinsing off his body and turning off the shower. Roman dried most of himself as he stood in the shower, grabbing the towel off the floor and aggressively drying his hair with it. Usually he’d dry his hair with a hair dryer, but that would be too loud, so he settled with having a fluffy dog on his head for the night. Once he was dry enough, he grabbed his boxers and shirt to put on in the shower before stepping out to put back on his sweatpants. Despite the steam in the bathroom making it hard to breathe, Roman felt much better than before.

He turned off the light before he opened the bathroom door, stepping into the dark hallway wondering where to go. He still wasn’t tired, so he might as well look for that hiding spot. But where could he hide?

He slowly made his way downstairs, wincing every time a floorboard under him squeaked. The TV stand was an awful place since it was full of wires and CD cases, and behind the couch was far too obvious for a hiding spot. The entire kitchen was off limits since Patton spent most of his time there, he’d find Roman easily if he was hiding nearby. There was a small bathroom down here that barely fit a toilet and a sink, so maybe that could work?

Roman opened the bathroom door and looked inside, immediately becoming discouraged. There was no cabinet under the sink and everything was visible the moment you walked in, so that was a bust. He closed the door and looked around again.

The dining room off to the side of the kitchen was mostly bare, and hiding under the table wouldn’t work. Roman made a circle back to the stairs and looked around with his hands on his hips.

Suddenly, his eye was caught by a glass case display next to the stairs and it dawned on him. Underneath the stairs was a slight opening, but still too big to be a good hiding spot. But the display was pointed at a diagonal from the stairs, leaving a triangle opening that you couldn’t see by looking underneath the steps. Roman crawled under the stairs to see if he could fit in the hole.

It was a little cramped, but the cramped spots were always the best places. The only downside was that Roman was still visible from looking under the stairs, leaving his pants and shoes visible to anyone who could be looking for him. However, if he could get a box and paint it the same black color as the back of the glass display, he could rest on top of it and no one could see him. It could work!

Roman crawled out from the other end of the stairs and smiled. If he was quick and sneaky, he could hide under here and stay hidden for hours. Now he just needed a box he could paint black.

Roman opened the downstairs closet and looked inside, moving jackets and shoes around to look for what he needed. Nothing.

He walked into the kitchen to open the garage door and look inside, searching for any online shopping boxes Patton was planning to toss out. Nothing. Maybe he should sneak outside and check the recycling bin really quick-

“Roman?”

Roman froze like a deer in headlights at the sound of that voice. It was Patton, he didn’t need to look behind him to know that. To Patton, it must look like Roman was trying to sneak out through the garage door. He felt his breath stop.

“Roman, come back here. Right now.” Yeah, that was definitely what Patton thought was going on. His voice wasn’t angry, but it was firm and demanding, the voice a parent puts on when they refuse to be pushed around by you. If Roman didn’t think fast, he’d be fucked.

I can’t tell the truth, Roman thought. He can’t know I’m looking for hiding spots. But what can I do? Come on, Roman, make an idea! It’s the one thing you do so often!

…But there was that idea. An idea he used very rarely, but had yet to fail him.

Okay then, he decided, it’s go time. Lights, camera, action.

“Roman, I’m not joking. Come here.”

Roman deliberately ignored him, instead slowly closing the garage door and fumbling with the knob like he was stuck in a task. He kept his movements delayed and repetitive, just like people always told him he acted like in the stories.

Patton hesitated, like Roman’s reaction had confused him. “Roman, now.”

“Wait, wait, wait a minute.” Roman mumbled. “It’s gotta break.”

“…What’s gotta break?”

Roman opened the door and stood there looking out at the garage. He didn’t respond to Patton’s question, instead he stood there without moving. He heard Patton step closer.

“Roman?” He asked, his voice becoming softer as he realized what was happening. “Are you awake?”

“That’s a lot off.”

Roman could see Patton smile in the corner of his eye. His plan was a success. “I think you need to go to bed, kiddo. You can break things tomorrow.”

Patton took a hold of Roman’s hand, a grip that was so gentle it was less of a grip and more of Patton holding the tips of his fingers. Roman tensed his toes to prevent himself from jerking away from the touch, letting Patton lead him back up the stairs and to his bedroom. Patton went slowly so as to not lose Roman behind him, but he eventually led Roman back to bed while Roman kept up his sleepwalking ruse. It was a trick that always worked on his dad late at night, and it was good to know it worked on Patton too.

Patton brought Roman’s hand to touch the sheets on his own bed, and Roman reacted by slowly crawling back into bed and relaxing. He felt Patton cover him up with the blanket and tried not to squirm away from him.

“Goodnight, sleepy prince.” Patton whispered. Roman heard his footsteps head toward the door before his door slowly clicked closed, leaving Roman back in his room.

Roman waited until the coast was completely clear to jump back up and put the security bar under his door knob again. He was officially stuck in his room for the rest of the night, but at least he felt more in control now. Maybe he could try to sleep now.

Roman shoved his face in his pillow and tried to drift off, breathing deeply to keep his mind from spiraling again.

Yeah. After all he’d been through recently, tomorrow had to be a relaxation day.

***

“So…” Patton said to Roman with a smirk, handing him a plate with pancakes and blueberries during breakfast that morning. “Roman, I didn’t know you were a sleepwalker.”

Virgil and Logan both looked at Roman for his response. Roman feigned surprise. “…How’d you find out?”

“Last night I caught you walking around the house. I also heard the shower running for a while. Strange thing to wake up to!”

Crap, Roman thought, gonna have to remember that for next time. “Well, yes, I sleepwalk when I’m stressed. So, quite often.”

Patton’s smile seemed to drop a little. “Do you always try to sneak out of the house?”

“Sometimes. It’s not very often, though.” That’s what Roman always told adults. In reality, Roman had never heard a sleepwalking story of him trying to sneak out other than the times he was faking it after being caught. He didn’t even think Sleepwalking Roman had figured out how to take the security bar off the door yet, let alone try to walk into the street. But adults didn't need to know that. It was more convenient that way.

“Well, I might have to see about getting some sleepwalk-Roman-proof locks on the door, then. I don’t want you walking into oncoming traffic or something.”

Roman shrugged, taking a bite of his pancakes. “You can try. Can’t guarantee it’ll work, though.”

“Why do you sleepwalk?” Logan asked, leaning in closer to where Roman was sitting. “Do you know?”

“It ran in my family.”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “That’s quite interesting. I don’t know much about the science behind sleepwalking, but perhaps it’d be an interesting topic to research on. Brain functions during sleep can be quite bizarre.”

“You have fun with that, John Darling.” Roman finished the last bite from his pancake and stood up. “However, I have a nice date with the living room TV, so I’ll be busy.”

“…You consider that being busy?” Logan teased.

“Yes. Disney marathons are self care, and you can’t complain because I haven’t had the TV at all since I got here.”

“You do gotta share sometimes, Logan.” Patton mentioned.

Logan huffed. “Fine.”

Virgil stood up from the table to put his dishes away, placing his cup on top of his plate and balancing it. “He’s a little TV hog, some of us also wanna play games, dude.”

“All you have to do is ask!”

“And face confrontation? No way am I- fuck!”

Everyone jumped at Virgil’s sudden loud swear followed by the loud bang of a cup hitting the floor. Virgil’s balancing act showed to be a failure, with orange juice spilt all over the kitchen floor. Virgil stood deathly still and stared at the mess in horror, practically shaking with his knuckles turning white as he clenched at the plate in his hand. Roman cringed, subconsciously scooting as far back in his chair as possible and tensing. All the kids were silent. Virgil looked ready to cry.

“Oops!” Patton’s cheery voice is what broke the tense silence, crouching down at the mess and picking up the dropped cup. He looked it over. “Well, thankfully this cup isn’t glass, so it’s not broken! I’ll put it in the dishwasher and it’ll be okay, an easy fix. Could you get some paper towels and clean this up, kiddo?”

Virgil still seemed shaken, digging his nails into the metal plate and nodding. He slowly moved to grab the paper towels on the counter and drop them to the floor to dry the mess. Logan didn’t seem bothered anymore, but Roman felt himself prepare to book it upstairs in case things went south. But Patton didn’t scream or throw a fit, just put the cup in the dishwasher and stepped back to let Virgil do his thing.

Once Virgil wiped up the mess, he set his plate in the dishwasher and ran upstairs. Roman and Logan both watched helplessly, but Patton just smiled to himself. “I’ll check on him in a second. I think he just needs space now.”

Roman tensed at the idea of Patton checking on Virgil on his own, still not certain what he did to them behind closed doors. Roman put his own dishes away and ran upstairs to his bedroom. He closed the door and locked it like usual, but he didn’t put the security bar under the knob. Instead, he sat against the door and listened for the sound of Patton’s footsteps.

Eventually, the footsteps did come. Roman heard him knock on Virgil’s door and announce himself, asking if he could come in before the door opened. He heard the door softly close again, and that’s when Roman took his chance. He snuck out of his room and crept his way to the door to listen to what was going on. If Virgil was in pain, he could at least hear it.

“-Mad?” Virgil asked, his voice sounding higher and shaky. Roman clenched his fist in preparation.

“Of course not, kiddo,” He heard Patton say, “I’d never be mad at you. It was just a little cup, and everything’s okay.”

“…Sorry I swore, too.”

Patton laughed. “It’s okay. Sometimes it slips out, just don’t make it a habit.” There was a pause for a long moment. Roman felt something ride in his throat when he heard the bed creak a little. “Can I have a hug?”

Roman didn’t hear a verbal response, but Patton didn’t get angry afterwards, so he assumed that Virgil agreed. The bed creaked a little more, but it was silent. Way too silent, and that creaking was making Roman’s skin crawl. He didn’t trust it. He didn’t trust it at all.

Despite his better judgment, Roman swung the door open to catch him. He was breathing heavily and staring daggers, ready to throw a man twice his age across the room, but Roman froze when he processed the reality. Instead of whatever Roman was expecting to find, Patton had Virgil wrapped up in a tight hug as Virgil looked spooked from the sudden intrusion. Roman just stared, wishing more than anything now that he could reverse time. Oops, too soon.

“…Kiddo,” Patton eventually said in a confused tone, “You gotta knock before you enter.”

“…Yeah.” This didn’t make any sense. His dad had never gone this long being nice, so how hadn’t he caught Patton yet? What was he doing differently that made Roman not notice?

Patton rubbed Virgil’s back to help him ease up again. “How about you close the door and give us some privacy, then?”

“…No.” It was a trap. Roman was convinced it was a trap, and he refused to fall for it. He wouldn’t leave Virgil alone with him.

Patton seemed confused. “Why no?”

Roman was shaking. “Because.”

“Roman, I can only help if you tell me why you don’t wanna leave.” Patton’s face was still soft, rubbing Virgil’s back and letting him hide in the crook of Patton’s neck. If he was angry, he wasn’t showing it. “Can you tell me more than because?”

“Because.” Roman kept his voice sharp, remembering Patton’s ‘no yelling’ rule and trying not to push his boundaries more. But there was no way he was telling Patton his plans if he still hadn’t picked up on it.

Instead of exploding at Roman for being a brat, Patton seemed to focus intently and consider his options. Eventually, his eyes widened, and he smiled softly again at Roman. “What if you gave Virgil and I some space, but kept the door open? Would that be easier?”

Roman’s chest felt strange. Heavy, but like electricity was running through him around his heart. “Why do you want space so bad?”

“Because Virgil deserves privacy when he wants it, just like everybody does. Right?”

Roman looked at Virgil, who was peeking out from his hiding spot in Patton’s neck. He looked tired, but that wasn’t the only thing Roman noticed. He looked… Annoyed. Staring right at Roman with a death glare saying do you mind?, and Roman’s heart sank. Fuck.

Without saying a word, Roman ran off with the door still open and locked himself in the bathroom. He sat on the floor and put his head in his hands, still listening carefully for any concerning noises that might come from Virgil’s room, but he knew it was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

What the hell was wrong with him recently? He told himself last night he was going to spend today relaxing, instead he was freaking out and speeding up the process until Patton realized Roman knew what he was doing. Maybe that’s why Virgil seemed mad at him. He’s being an idiot and speeding up the inevitable for everyone, taking away the points of ignorant bliss between the horror. Roman should understand that. He was also guilty of wanting to pretend his dad loved him, and he was being a prick. He was going to get everyone in trouble if he kept this up.

Roman went limp on the floor, leaning his head against the door and sighing. He needed to leave them alone for a second and stop freaking out over everything. It seemed like Patton was in a good mood since Roman came along, it’d be bad news to ruin that. He wasn’t going to be the reason Virgil got hurt.

Roman shakily stood up off the bathroom floor and left, making his way downstairs to the TV. Logan still hadn’t turned it on, so he took this as his chance to claim it. He sat on the couch with his knees tucked close and pulled up a streaming service to look for some Disney movies, his eyes lighting up when he found one of his favorites as he switched the language to French and hit play.

He used to watch Beauty and the Beast all the time as a kid. It took place in France, so his mom would always say the movie should be played in French too, and Roman agreed. Now the English version sounded too weird for him to enjoy it the same.

Roman curled into himself as the intro played, the familiar prologue story of the beast’s curse that Roman could recite from memory by now. He slowly moved to rest his head on the couch’s armrest with his arms still wrapped around his own legs, keeping him tightly curled up. Maybe later he could make himself some tea, too.

Roman got through a good portion of the movie without interruptions, up to the point where Belle first came into the castle. Then, Virgil suddenly stood in front of the TV with his arms crossed.

Roman grabbed the remote to pause the movie, taking a moment to respond as his brain tried to remember English again. “What?”

“First off, why are you watching Disney in French?”

“I speak French, next question.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Come with me.”

Roman sat up and raised an eyebrow at Virgil. Virgil didn’t respond, just made his way up the stairs and expected Roman to follow. His curiosity got the better of him, so Roman did what he was told.

When he made his way up the stairs, Virgil was waiting in the doorframe of his bedroom. He motioned for Roman to follow him inside, so Roman did.

When Roman walked inside, Virgil moved to close the door behind them. “Don’t,” Roman warned.

Virgil gave him a look. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t close it. At least, not all the way.”

Virgil didn’t question further, just kept the door cracked open and wandered over to sit on his bed. Roman didn’t follow, just waited for Virgil to tell him what was happening.

“I wanted to talk to you.” Virgil said.

“I gathered.”

“Sleepwalker, huh?” Virgil teased. “That’s a load of shit.”

“I am a sleepwalker. It happens sometimes!”

“I was downstairs the same time you were, dude. You definitely weren’t fucking sleepwalking until Patton caught you.” Virgil smirked as Roman’s face dropped. “I’m impressed by the acting though, not gonna lie.”

Roman tried to think of a convincing lie, but he sighed and gave up, crossing his arms as he looked at the floor. “…Alright, it was an act. But I do sleepwalk. I just…wasn’t sleepwalking at that exact moment. But regardless, what were you doing awake? And why didn’t I see you?”

Virgil shrugged. “I’m a master at hiding. Every time you came around the corner, I just moved. I haven’t been caught by Patton in a long ass time.”

“Did you call me here just to boast then?”

“Nope.” Virgil popped the p, then smirked. “I called you here to teach you how to do the same.”

Roman seemed taken aback. “…Why?”

“You’re struggling a lot, I figured I might be able to put you out of your misery.”

“Wow, how kind.” Roman deadpanned. “I don’t need your help, for the record. I know I haven’t been in the system long, but this isn’t my first rodeo.”

Virgil sighed. “Look, I’m not good with emotional shit, we’ve been over this. But when Logan first came around, I had a lot of chances to help him out and I just didn’t, and it was a dick move that I regret now. I want to do different with you, so don’t think too deep into it and just accept it. Deal?”

“Um…alright?”

Virgil walked past Roman and opened his door all the way again, looking out into the hallway before speaking. “Alright, ready for lesson one?”

Roman thought about it. “…Answer something for me first.”

“Shoot.”

“Are you okay?”

Virgil made a face at him. “What do you mean?”

Roman could feel his chest aching. “You were alone with Patton.”

“Patton’s chill, dude. He hasn’t smacked me once in the two years I’ve been here, which I didn’t know was possible. He was just worried about me after my freak-out, but I’m good.”

“The bed was creaking.”

Virgil seemed confused. “Beds do that when you move on them. There might be a loose joint or something I gotta fix, though.”

Roman wasn’t convinced. “He didn’t do anything at all?”

“Patton’s never laid a hand on me.”

“…That’s not true.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“So that I won’t be scared so much.”

Virgil sighed and rubbed his palms into his eyes. “Whatever, believe what you want, you’ll get there eventually. You want my help or not?”

“…Yes.”

Virgil stepped out of the room and gestured for Roman to follow him, just going to the hallway in front of Roman’s room. Once Roman moved to stand in Virgil’s doorway, Virgil motioned for him to stop. Roman stayed right where he was.

“Alright, lesson one, making it downstairs without being a loud ass.” Virgil pressed his foot on a specific part of the carpet where the floorboard squeaked underneath. “The upstairs has a lot of squeaky floorboards, no clue why. But there’s a way to dodge it. When leaving my bedroom, you take one step, skip a step, take two steps, turn left, skip a step, take one step, go right, then just don’t step on the first step of the staircase at all, the whole thing squeaks. You can try it if you want.”

Roman’s curiosity got the better of him, so he did what Virgil suggested, keeping his steps close together so his heel was touching his toe and followed Virgil’s pattern. He skipped all the places Virgil told him to and made it to the stairs without squeaking the floor for the first time since he came here.

“I have a pattern for a trip to the bathroom and to the stairs. Our rooms are pretty close together, so your pattern probably wouldn’t be much different than mine.” Virgil put one foot forward and tested the floor methodically, seeing which areas squeaked and which ones didn’t. He slowly made his way to the stairs where he stopped on the second step, seemingly satisfied with himself. “Skip a step, take two steps, skip another one, turn right, skip a step, then one more step. Though your feet are bigger than mine, so your pattern might be different.”

“Awww, you’re a shorty.” Roman teased.

“Shut the fuck up.” Virgil deadpanned. “Okay, next lesson. Follow me.”

Roman followed Virgil down the stairs, noticing the way Virgil stepped down them. He stepped in specific areas on each step and skipped some entirely as he made his way downstairs, effectively making a lot less noise than Roman did just walking normally. Though, Virgil did say he’d been living here for two years, so it’d make sense that he knows all the tricks to get around Patton. Maybe him and this stormy night could be partners in crime.

Virgil motioned for Roman to follow him into the kitchen and around where the garage door was, pointing to a window once Roman caught up to him. “Lesson number two, this window is your best friend.”

“How so?” Roman asked.

“Well, first off, it’ll help you sneak out without getting caught like an idiot. You know, like last night.”

Roman put an offended hand to his chest. “I was not trying to sneak out!”

“What were you doing then?”

“I was looking for something, and no, you don’t get to know what.”

Virgil gave him a look. “Right. Well, for when you do sneak out, this exit is the way to go. Patton has security cameras pointed at the back, front, and garage doors of the house. This is the only window out of the sight of all of them. Then, you sneak your way around the side of the house and go on your merry way until sunrise.”

Roman crossed his arms at Virgil. “And how often do you use this?”

“Like, twice a week.”

“Twice a week!? Not even I sneak out that often!”

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t go far, usually just to the park down the road. I haven’t gotten kidnapped yet, so it’s whatever.”

“You scare me.”

“Good.” Virgil motioned for Roman to follow him again. “Back upstairs.”

Roman scoffed. “We were just there.”

“And we’re going back up there again.” Virgil smirked mercilessly and walked back to the staircase. Roman rolled his eyes, but he was enjoying Virgil’s tips too much to not follow him. He went up the stairs and met with Virgil next to the closet.

Virgil pointed to the closet door. “This thing right here? Lesson number three, this place is your best friend.”

“It already is my best friend. I use all the paints up there.”

“More than that.” Virgil opened the closet door and turned on the light, motioning for Roman to come inside with him. Roman wasn’t very inclined to because of the cramped space, but his curiosity was greater than his fear for once, so he stepped inside and closed the door behind them while Virgil turned on the light.

“The attic makes a great hiding spot. There’s a lot of drawers and small spaces up there where it’s easy to hide. Granted, it’s easy to tell when someone is up there because you can’t pull the stairs back up when you’re in the attic. But that’s where this comes in.” Virgil grabbed a rope off one of the closet shelves. “Tie it around the doorknob and tie the other end to the stairs. No one can open the door if you do that.”

“Sounds like a great way to give away where you’re hiding if no one can open the door.” Roman pointed out.

Virgil shrugged. “Patton doesn’t try very hard. He might test the handle, but he gives up if the door won’t open. He’ll ask you if you’re okay once you leave, though.”

Roman liked his hiding spot better. It was enough in the open that no one would check it, and there was no indication that Roman might be hiding behind the cabinet. This could be a good temporary spot, though. At least until he could get a black box that could support his weight.

Virgil pulled down the stairs to the attic, grabbing the rope and tying its ends to the stairs and doorknob like he described. He then went up into the attic as Roman followed behind. When Roman peeked his head up into the attic, Virgil was crouched beside a box full of Christmas decorations. Roman walked over to where he was.

“Lesson four, keep your mouth shut about this or else.” Virgil reached behind the box into the corner of the room and pulled out a smaller box that had been hidden behind it. When he opened the small one, he let Roman take a good look at what was inside. Granola bars, a container of salted peanuts, water bottles and chip bags. Roman grabbed a granola bar and a water bottle as he gave Virgil a questioning look.

“Having a spot with hidden food just makes me feel better.” Virgil explained. “I’ve never had to use it, Patton feeds us like he’s four grandmas fucking combined. But if you’re hiding up here and you get hungry, I stash it regularly.”

“Does Logan know about all this?” Roman asked, opening his water bottle to take a sip.

Virgil shook his head. “Like I said, I didn’t show Logan jack shit when he first came. And it’s too late now, and it’s not like Logan would ever use it anyway. Lucky son of a bitch never feels the need to hide.”

Roman laughed. “Lucky is one word for it.”

Virgil didn’t respond, just took the container of peanuts and hid the box back in it’s hiding spot. The two ate in silence for a while; a kind of silence that wasn’t awkward or tense, but wasn’t exactly comfortable either. Maybe because Virgil still felt like a stranger to him.

After a while of them both relaxing next to each other, Virgil finally spoke up. “Tell me your trauma and I’ll tell you mine.”

Roman raised an eyebrow at him, “And knowing your trauma benefits me how?”

“You feel a little less alone. Also solidarity and shit.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not spilling. Share whatever you want, but it won’t be reciprocated.”

“Can’t say I didn’t try.” Virgil ate a mouthful of peanuts. “I have a theory, you know. Less of a theory and more of the truth, but still. Patton purposely fosters abused kids.”

Roman snorted. “Sounds about right. Easy targets.”

“I think it’s more about him wanting to help us.”

“Believe whatever you want, Hot Topic.”

Virgil smirked. “Hot Topic?”

“Am I wrong?”

Virgil rolled his eyes, but he still smiled a little. “Whatever.”

They didn’t talk much after that, only enjoying the silence together in their own world trapped away in the attic. It wasn’t exactly Roman’s plan, but he still felt safe. He sipped on his water and thought a lot about Virgil’s lessons, trying to ensure they were deep in his memory. But he didn’t need them now. Instead, he sat in the corner of the attic, comforted by the knowledge of the door being locked underneath them, with a silent acquaintance a good distance from him.

It wasn’t the self-care day Roman had planned, but he wasn’t complaining. It worked.

#ts roman #ts virgil #ts logan #ts patton #Prinxiety #foster au #platonic prinxiety #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #panic #past trauma #past abuse #food mention #food #swearing

142 notes · View notes

crackedoutwalnut · 3 years

Text

Never Quite Free (Natasha x Reader)

Summary: Natasha grows concerned after you start ignoring her and decides to check on you.

!TW WARNINGS: Implied sexual assault, PTSD, and panic attacks! (lots of fluff near the end to make up for it i promise)

A/N: just a vent fic,,, as a treat. The song referenced in the fic is Never Quite Free by The Mountain Goats, in case you want to listen to it for context though you don't have to.

It's all good to learn that right outside your window There's only friendly fields and open roads And you'll sleep better when you think You've stepped back from the brink And found some peace inside yourself Laid down your heavy load It gets all right to dream at night Believe in solid skies and slate blue earth below But when you see him you'll know

For the longest time, going out into the world was like maneuvering across a field of landmines. The bombs could be set off by nearly anything, from minute details that had latched themselves to the back of your mind to glaring reminders that were almost impossible to ignore. Anything and everything that reminded you of him had seeped its way into the cracks in your brain, leaving irreparable stains and water damage in its wake. From the smell of cedar and pine aftershave to the brassy sound of a jazz trumpet on a passing radio, these reminders were minuscule as thumbtacks, and yet they felt like railroad spikes being hammered into your chest and skull.

In the past, you would bury yourself in work or drink yourself nearly to death to escape his ever-present grasp on your mind. Your life had been filled with you shoveling meaningless noise into your routine in attempts to block out the alarm that always seemed a pin trigger away from sounding in your head. Then, you met Natasha. You learned that she knew over seven languages and almost exclusively cussed in Russian when she was pissed enough. You memorized her favorite shows and books and how she snored like a lawnmower when she laid on her left side- a fact she vehemently denied. Natasha Romanov was caring, smart, strong, and oh so protective.

It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand And you'll breathe easier just knowing that the worst is all behind you And the waves that tossed the raft all night have set you on dry land It gets okay to praise the day Believe in sheltering skies and stable earth beneath

These little bits of information filled your mind and heart with endearment and love, thoroughly pushing the smell of cedar aftershave and rot to the far back of your mind. And that was where he stayed for the longest time. For a whole two years, you filled your days with movie dates, forehead kisses, and late-night cuddles. She introduced you to her friends, Steve Rogers, Carol Danvers, Wanda Maximoff; you even befriended Tony Stark- though Natasha never explicitly refers to him as a friend. Everything was going so well for the first time since before you met him. But, like a cockroach, your past is not so easily killed.

But hear his breath come through his teeth,

Walk by faith Tell no one what you've seen

You were at a local coffee shop when you noticed him. He was sitting at the table adjacent to yours, scrolling through his laptop, briefcase at his side. When you beheld him, it was as if your muscles were turning to concrete slabs. They were dragging you down, below the faded wooden floorboards, below the concrete foundation, until you were choking on dirt and rocks. It took you nearly five minutes to realize it was not him. However, him or not, the damage was done. Because you had seen his well-kempt mustache and graying sideburns, had seen his eyes the color of a lethal tundra. You could have sworn you felt those eyes watch you as you rushed out of the café and into the crowded streets.

From that day on, he was back. He visited you in sleep and trailed you all throughout work—a hefty shadow. However, it was not until you were in bed with Natasha that it came to its tipping point.

Your fiancée, having noticed your peculiar attitude, had decided to surprise you with a night of candles and wine. Not wanting her to be more concerned than she already was, you played along. You forced yourself to reciprocate every kiss and caress despite the acid in your throat and the timpani in your chest. Eventually, Natasha swept you off your feet into a bridal style carry and led you into her bedroom. Gently setting you on the bed, she quickly straddled your hips. Leaning down, she cupped your cheeks and pulled you into a heated kiss. You swallowed down bile and half-heartedly opened your mouth to allow her tongue space to explore. She groaned and tore off her shirt as she pulled away from you.

"God, you're so sexy," she murmured, grinding her hips further against your abdomen. Natasha grabbed at your shirt, pulling it off your torso before chucking it across the room. You felt your throat tighten as your upper body was exposed to the elements. Your fiancée set about yanking off your sweatpants, murmuring bits of praise under her breath as she did so. Her gentle lithe hands seemed to grown more masculine and rough the longer they touched your bare skin. Her body morphed into the familiar form of a naked man. His sickeningly familiar graying mustache and coarse chest hair set flares of frigid panic through your body. He was here, he was here, hewasherehewashere.

Your body convulsed and kicked out at your assailant; flashes of his rough hands forcing your legs apart fueled the strength behind your attacks as you lunged to your feet. You shoved him off of you with a borderline unhinged snarl.

"Get the fuck away from me, Castor!" You screamed before hurriedly shoving on your clothes and sprinting out the door of the apartment. He was following you. You could hear his heavy footsteps thudding behind you. Your thighs burned from the sudden exercise, and the roaring in your ears drowned out your surroundings. You shoved your way into the elevator, nearly punching the first-floor button with your fist. Sweat dripped down the nape of your neck as you struggled to suck in breaths of air. Clutching your chest, you allowed your knees to collapse.

When the elevator slid open, you shot to your feet and ran through the lobby, out into the cool night. You clumsily pushed people aside, his voice clawing through your ear canal. You wildly waved down a taxi and slid into the back. Your voice was as flimsy as tissue paper as you gave the driver your address.

When you got home, you slid all three locks into place and snapped your curtains shut. You huddled under your blanket and slowly succumbed to a sleepless night.

Natasha was many things, but a worrier was not one of them. Why should she spend all her time fretting when she could just get up and solve the damn problem herself? However, after three days of complete radio silence on your end, she was sorely tempted to break into your apartment. That night, you had rushed out of her apartment as if the Devil himself had been at your heels. The look in your eyes had been that of a wounded animal. Natasha felt her stomach clench with anxiety as she stared down at her phone. 37 texts, 10 calls, 10 voicemails, and not a single message answered. You were always a punctual texter, which only made her worry worsen.

Natasha shoved her phone back in her back pocket and took a long sip of her coffee. What the hell could have caused you to run out of her apartment mid-sex? Not to mention, who the hell was Castor? Natasha finished off her coffee and set her red and black spider mug in the sink. The cup had been a 6-month anniversary gift, and she made sure to drink out of it every chance she got. After cleaning up the last of her breakfast, Natasha pulled out her phone once more and typed out another message.

Nat: darling I've tried giving you space but its been 3 days and I'm worried. I'm coming over.

Natasha moved to put the device away; however, after a second, she reconsidered it and unlocked it once more.

Nat: I love you <3

Pushing the phone into her pocket, she rushed out the door. When Natasha arrived at your apartment door, she immediately pulled out her phone once more. Nothing. She huffed a shaky breath and pulled out her copy of the apartment key. You had given it to her after you almost burnt down your apartment trying to cook for their date that night. She had to rush over to your apartment to clean up the damage done by the small grease fire and cook you both last-minute spaghetti.

She twisted the key in the lock and quietly pushed the door open. The apartment felt akin to a tomb. The curtains were drawn, and all the lights were off. Dirty dishes were piled up Tetris style in and around the sink, not to mention the empty takeout containers strewn throughout the living room and dining table. The TV was quietly playing It Chapter 2, yet you were nowhere in sight.

Worry continued to grip the assassin's chest as she called out, "Y/n, kotyonok are you here?" Being cautious of the numerous fast-food containers and clothing items thrown about, Natasha made her way towards your bedroom door. She hesitated for a moment before steeling her nerves and carefully knocking on your door. For a moment, she heard nothing, only the faint sound of Pennywise's voice coming from the living room. Then, just as she turned the knob to open the door, she heard whimpering. Her heart ramped up to a gallop as she quickly opened the door to your bedroom.

Natasha was certain she had seen war zone's tidier than this. Clothes covered nearly every inch of the bedroom, mattress, and wardrobe. Not to mention the numerous crumpled tissues and fallen picture frames. However, the state of your room was hardly her first concern because in the center of it all, huddled in shaking ball, was you. Painful sobs were rasping from your lips as you burrowed your face further into your knees. Your hair was tangled and greasy, and you were wearing one of Natasha's sweaters with a food-stained pair of boxer shorts.

The assassin felt sorely tempted to sprint across the rooms and scoop you into her arms. Instead, she went for the safer route, which was carefully wading through the mess over to your side of the bed. Tutting quietly, Natasha swallowed the urge to cry alongside you as she quietly cleared her throat. "Mon trésor, can you hear me?" she whispered, setting a hand next to your own, cautious not to make contact.

Instead of a relieved smile or a tired 'yes' like Natasha had expected, your entire body flinched away as if you had been punched. Your eyes snapped open as you scrambled across the bed, looking around hysterically. "Castor?" you called out, eyes wild with panic.

Natasha furrowed her brows and backed away from you. "Y/n it's me, Nat. I'm not here to hurt you; I just needed to see if you were okay."

Slowly, your eyes shone with recognition. Your body, however, remained as taught as before as you studied your fiancée carefully as if she was a trick or a mirage. Natasha felt her heart fracture slightly at the display of fear. "Nat?" Your voice was quiet and raspy; if she had not seen your mouth move, she would not have registered that you were speaking.

"Yes, kotyonok, it's me."

You furrowed your brows and brought your knees back up to your chest. "Wha-what're you doing here?" You asked, your voice slurred and shaky from the sobs racking your body.

Natasha carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, "I have been so worried about you. After you ran out on me a few days ago, I have been trying to check to see if you are okay."

Your face crumbled once more as you buried your face in your knees, "I-I'm," you hiccup, "Sorry, Nat."

Natasha tutted dotingly and slid back so that she sat beside you, still cautious not to touch. "Hey, hey, it's okay, darling. You're okay; just breathe for me. Can you do that, sweetie?"

You inhaled quick stuttering breathe, which quickly dissolved into hyperventilating. You clutched at your hair and squeezed your eyes shut.

Your fiancée watched with a heartbroken expression, "You're okay, you're okay, just keep trying. Can I touch you?" You nodded shakily as she pulled you onto her lap. Gently, she pulled your fists from your hair and replaced them with her own. She stroked your knotted locks and quietly cooed sweet nothings into your ear. She guided your fist to rest atop her chest as she whispered, "Copy my breathing okay, mon trésor?" Sucking in exaggerated breaths, she held her hand atop your own to keep it in place. After a few tries, your breathing eventually settled, and you let out a long whimpery sigh.

It's all good to learn that from right here the view goes on forever And you'll never want for comfort and you'll never be alone See the sunset turning red let all be quiet in your head And look about, all the stars are coming out They shine like steel swords Wish me well where I go But when you see me you'll know

Natasha smiled and kissed the top of your head, "You're doing so well, my love. Nothings going to get you while I'm here, I promise."

You burrowed further into her lap and placed your head atop her chest, letting the sound of her steady heartbeat soothe you into a lull. The two of you sat there for what seemed like eons as you soaked in the feeling of safety and warmth. Natasha hummed quietly, placing chaste kisses on the crown of your head every once in a while.

Sucking in a breath, you spoke, "He was a family friend." Natasha's humming stopped as she looked down at you. "His name was Castor Davids, and my dad met him at work. He was nice at first, sort of like a goofy rich uncle. He would always buy me new toys and books. He would even take me out for ice cream. Even when I got into fights with my parents, I knew I could always talk to him when I was upset. But then..." you gulped, your voice breaking. Natasha continued stroking your hair. "But then one day, he was babysitting me while my parents were out at a baby shower. H-he..." Your words broke off into a sob, and your fiancée quickly shushed you.

"You're safe; you're here with me. No one can hurt you, I promise. Just relax, darling. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me that you're safe now." Eventually, after a few more minutes of comforting words and protective hugs, the phantom hands that had been grasping at you for days disappeared.

You burrowed your head further into her chest and huffed, " 'm sorry I ran out on you the other night. I shoulda texted."

Natasha chuckled humorlessly, "Darling, that is the least of my worries. What I am worried about, however, is the last time you had an actual healthy dinner." You looked down at your lap sheepishly and shrugged. Natasha playfully pinched your side and untangled herself from your hold. You whined at the loss of contact and looked up at her accusingly. "I am going to make you a proper dinner, and we are going to sit down and watch stupid TV shows."

You huffed, "Can we watch House Hunters?"

Natasha sighed and nodded, "Fine, only because I love you, though." You grinned and slid out of bed. Your fiancée inspected you with a grimace, "First, we're going to take a shower."

TAG LIST:

@midnight-lestrange

#black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #natasha romanov #avengers fic #marvel fic #avengers x reader #wlw #gay #pls read the tw before reading

233 notes · View notes

novannna · 3 years

Note

Hey for a fic request could you do 4 and 6 of the angst prompt ( is that blood ?and it’s okay to be hurting or something like that) for Nodrian please all your renegades fics are so good btw

im so sorry this is so late, i was really bad at getting to it, but finally! i finished!

this is an actual trainwreck, and i admit i wrote most of it at 12, but thats alright! not entirely sure where i was going with it, but it sure went somewhere.

wc: 650

“That wasn’t so bad, huh?” Adrian dusted off his hands, and tucked his pen behind his ear. “We saved the day.” He looked at the partially collapsed building, and crowds of people who they’d managed to get out.

He and Nova had been sent to check out complaints of noise coming from the building.

Most people at HQ had thought it was just some exaggeration, but they were careful. Sent Nova and Adrian to check it out.

Lucky, because they found that the entire building was on the brink of collapse, the ground underneath riddled with caves and soft dirt.

It had finally had enough, and gave way with the two renegades still inside, struggling to get people out. Get themselves out.

“Weird not fighting bad guys, huh?” Adrian said. Nova still hadn’t responded. “I guess sometimes the Earth is the evil one. Not much we can do to stop it.” He laughed slightly. “Nova? Are you good?” He glanced over.

She was looking at the ground, choppy bangs covering her eyes.

“Nova,” Adrian said again, starting to get concerned.

She jumped. “Yes?”

“Just wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“Fine,” she said forcefully, causing Adrian to step back.

“Hey,” Adrian held out a calming hand. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong! I’m fine! Perfect even,” she laughed haltingly. “Don’t worry.”

She looked up, sun catching through her hair.

“Hey wait a minute, is- is that blood?” Adrian stepped forwards, and reached towards her hair, wet and shining red.

“It’s just a small scratch.”

Adrian ignored her, and pushed the hair out of her face, revealing a deep gash crossing her forehead. It was bleeding heavily, most of her face already covered in thick, red, liquid.

“Nova! Are you alright?” Adrian felt his pulse spike. “What happened?”

She hesitated, then said, “A chunk of concrete caught me on it’s way down. And, like I said before, I’m fi-” She swayed, staggering forwards. Adrian caught her.

“You need medical attention. Now.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Just leave it Adrian. I’ll stitch it up at home.”

“No, Nova! It isn’t fine! You can admit you’re hurting, you know? It’s okay to not be okay.”

Nova glared at him. “I don’t want to. I can’t, alright? So just drop it.”

Adrian softened. “Nova,” he said quietly, taking her hand into his. “Please. I know you don’t like accepting help. But sometimes, it’s the only choice. You don’t bear the weight of the world alone. We’re here to help share your burden. Please, just let me take you to the medics. You did really good today. You saved a lot of people. Now, will you please let me save you?”

Nova hesitated, then nodded. “Fine,” she whispered. “Take me.”

Adrian smiled, and bent down slightly, so she could sling an arm over his shoulder.

“You know,” Nova said through her clenched teeth. “You’re a hypocrite.”

“How so?”

“All that talk of not bearing the weight of the world alone, and yet you still do. If you help me, it’s only fair that I help you.”

Adrian chuckled. “I suppose. Once you feel better, we’ll talk. We’ll figure something out.”

“Promise?” Nova sounded so small, so tired. The cut was still heavily bleeding, and she looked very pale.

Adrian nodded, though he doubted she could see it. “I promise. We both will help each other.”

“Good. I’m sorry I’m so hard to help. You have to fight me every time I need it. I wish I were able to admit I needed it. I wish I were able to admit I’m weak.”

“Asking for help isn’t weak. And it’s okay, Nova. It’s alright to be afraid. To close up, and hide in the tower you made. I just want you safe. That’s all that matters.”

“I think I want that too.”

Adrian presses his lips to the top of her head. “Then let's get you fixed up.”

#ask #fic request #anon #ty!#nova artino #adrian everhart #renegades #renegades fic #my writing

21 notes · View notes

ineffable-gallimaufry · 2 years

Text

how eda met the little owl brothers, a short fanfiction for the owl mom au

Eda wasn’t expecting to return home with two children after her latest attack on the Coven round up attempts. It seemed like they had been expecting her when she arrived with her whole anti-coven speech. If not for her extra smoke bomb, she probably wouldn’t have gotten out with all her limbs intact.

Still, she found herself on a different path than she was used to traveling on her way back to the house. She slowed from a walk and put up her hood. The neighborhood she was in seemed on the brink of collapse, mold covering the cobblestones and large cracks running up the buildings. It was empty though so she couldn’t complain. She slowed down her walk even more. The guard wouldn’t find her here.

She felt a little tug on the bottom of her skirts. “Hello?” a small voice called out. She looked down to see a small child looking up at her. He had his hair in a small ponytail and little marks on his face. “Hello? Miss?”

“What do you want?” Eda asked, pulling her skirts away. She probably didn’t have time for this.

“I was just… Do you have some coppers?” he said. His voice sounded very odd and high pitched, she realized. His clothes were covered in dirt. “Me and my brother—”

“Hold up, brother?” Eda asked. “I only see one of you.”

A small child, no bigger than King when she had found him, wobbled out from behind the older of the two. He looked just as bad off as his brother. Eda blinked. She was the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles, the Owl Lady. “Here, come with me, you two.”

“Really!” the older one yelled. “That sounds great!”

“Just promise me you’ll be a little quieter.” Eda said, putting one finger to her lips.

They both nodded. “Now what should I call you?” Eda asked them, starting back towards the house.

“I don’t have a name.” the older child said, looking up at her. “And he doesn’t for sure.”

“How about… uh… Owlbert? For your brother?” she said, haltingly. The Owl Lady did deserve some owl themed kids after all. “And for you… Hoot…y?”

“Owlbert and Hooty?” the child asked back. He sat down abruptly, lost in thought. Finally, he stood back up and said, “That sounds great! Where are we going?”

“To my house.” Eda said. “I have some snacks for you two back there. At least, I probably do.”

She looked down. Hooty was making little grabby hands like he wanted to be carried. “You want me to carry you?” Eda asked gently.

Hooty nodded. “Alright.” Eda sighed, picking up the small kids. “To the Owl House then.”

#owl mom au #toh #hooty #eda #owlbert #i'm just in love with this au rn

6 notes · View notes

cutelittlestar · 4 years

Text

Unconditional Love || Peter Parker x Reader

Pairing(s): Peter Parker x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While on a mission, you get exposed to an unknown substance, causing you to fall in love with the infamous soldier, Bucky Barnes. Peter, on the other hand, gets extremely jealous and angry, wishing that he was the one you fell in love with.

Word Count: 5.9k

Warning(s): swearing, angst, fluff mentions of blood and pain, fem!reader, avengers!reader, physical fighting, sad petey :(

A/N: I was hella bored, so I wrote this imagine for you guys. Hope you enjoy this story!

*gif is not mine

“Where are they?” Peter asked in a panic tone as he paced around the room, biting his fingernails. You and Bucky were sent on a mission a few hours ago, but both of you should’ve been back by now. As the sun was slowly disappearing, horrible scenarios started to develop in Peter’s mind, and he feared that something terrible happened to you or Bucky. What if you were hurt? What if you or Bucky couldn’t escape? What if you were captured? Peter thought to himself. For a short moment, Peter feared that you were killed, but he quickly got rid of the thought, not wanting to think of the dreadful possibility. Peter couldn’t lose you, not like this. Peter pulled his hair in frustration, hating that he couldn’t do anything but wait. You and Peter were friends since high school, and you were the best thing that happened to him; he didn’t want to live in a world without you, and his heart burned, hating that he couldn’t confess his deepest secret to you before you left.

“You need to relax, Peter,” Steve stated, attempting to ease him; Peter was pacing around the room for what seemed like hours, but Steve couldn’t blame him, he had every right to be worried. However, Steve had to remain strong for the sake of his team.

Peter quickly turned around, irritated that Steve and the others were sitting down and not expressing the same fear he had. “How can you remain calm?” Peter said in disbelief, growing hot by the second. Tony, Nat, Steve and the other briefly looked at one another, not knowing how to respond. While all of the Avengers feared that you and Bucky were in serious danger, both of you were well aware of the risks. Bucky and you knew that one day, you might not return, but it seemed as if Peter was ignoring that horrible scenario.

“I’m scared too, Peter,” Steve continued, standing up and walking towards him. Steve grabbed Peter by the shoulder and reassuringly squeezed it, “-but we have to wait.”

“I can’t lose her,” Peter heartedly confessed, his voice cracking. “I need her. I can’t live without her because-,” Peter closed his mouth as he realized he almost confessed his true feelings towards you. Although the strong emotion was slowly destroying him from the inside, Peter remained quiet.

However, Peter didn’t have to say anything else. “I know,” Steve softly whispered, knowing the exact reason Peter was so agitated; it was clear that Peter was deeply in love with you, and the mere thought of losing you was causing Peter to completely break down.

Suddenly, the bright red alarm started to quickly flash in the room, disrupting Steve and Peter’s heartfelt conversation. Friday announced that you and Bucky had returned, but judging by the loud alarm and the distressed tone of Friday, it alerted the group that something was wrong. Within seconds, they all ran down the hallway and towards the door. Looking through the glass windows, Peter watched the quinjet shakily land and he immediately felt relieved, knowing that you were back. Unfortunately, that emotion rapidly disappeared as Peter watched a bloody and frail Bucky walk out of the quinjet with you in his arms, your body unresponsive. There were cuts and bruises scattered around Bucky’s face, his clothes were torn, and it looked as if he took a beating. Yet, Bucky’s main concern was you, and he continued to limp towards the group, hoping they could do more than he could. Bucky was on the brink of collapsing him and Peter wasted no time, running towards you as fast as he could.

“What happened?!” Peter hastily asked, feeling his heart drop as he examined your body. You had the same, if not, worse injuries than Bucky, but Peter’s eyes immediately focused on the large gash across your stomach.

“Am-ambush,” Bucky weakly answered. He attempted to explain more, but no words came out of his mouth; Bucky’s body shook with such intensity, but before he fell on the floor, Steve stepped in and held him by the shoulders.

“Quickly, Peter,” Steve rushed out, “take Y/N to the emergency room.” Peter hastily took you away from Bucky’s arms and sped down the hallway, with Tony and Bruce right behind him. Kicking the door open, Peter laid you on the medical bed, stepping aside as Bruce began to work. Sweat was dripping down Peter’s face, and he tightly held onto your hand, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Please, Y/N.. please wake up,” Peter choked out, pushing your hair away from your face. Your eyes were closed but you softly let out a whimper once you heard Peter’s voice; your minor movement indicated to Peter, Bruce, and Tony that you were still alive. Peter let out a sigh of relief, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, but his heart continued to rapidly beat in his chest, unsure of what was to come next. Bruce grabbed the scissors and began to cut off your suit to further inspect the gash on your stomach. Once the fabric was removed, Bruce stopped moving, his eyes widening in the process as he stared at your stomach. Peter took note of Bruce’s sudden change of behavior, and Peter’s eyes landed on your wound once again, only this time, he felt his panic grow stronger.

“What the hell is that?” Peter exasperated in shock and horror, unable to believe what he was seeing. Your stomach was covered in a layer of sweat, blood, and dirt, but instead of the injury gushing out blood, a thick concentration of pink substance was seeping out. Bruce and Tony glanced at each other but immediately continued to clean your injury. Peter closed his eyes and turned his head away as Bruce attempted to close your wound, and Peter held onto your hand tighter, rubbing his thumb across your delicate hand.

You groaned in pain as you felt a needle prick your skin, but you patiently laid on the bed until Bruce was done bandaging your wounds. You felt someone tap your shoulder, and you slowly opened your eyes as you were met to face Bruce, Tony, and Peter. Your breathing becoming erratic as you were unable to find Bucky but Peter instantly grabbed your cheek, forcing you to look into his eyes. “It’s okay, Y/N, I’m right here. You’re going to be okay.” Tears were spilling down Peter’s cheeks, and your first instinct would’ve been to wipe his tears, but instead, you moved your face away from Peter’s touch and began to look around the room.

“Wh-Where’s Bucky?” you inquired in a worried tone. Peter felt a lump form in his throat as you slipped away from his touch, but he disregarded his pain, knowing you were anxious for Bucky’s condition.

Peter cleared his throat, “he’s with Steve right now.” Your breathing was becoming heavier by the second as you hated the idea of being away from him.

“I need him here, please!” you shouted in pain and sadness, tears quickly forming in your eyes and sliding down your face as Bucky was no longer by your side. Peter watched as you screamed Bucky’s name, and within a second, Bucky came barging into the room. Bucky’s eyes hastily darted around the room until he met yours, and he sped towards you, placing his hand above your head; Peter felt his heart break as he watched you gravitate towards Bucky, and he felt an unsettling emotion grow in the pit of his stomach as he watched your hands land on Bucky’s chest.

“I’m here, don’t worry,” Bucky reassured you, rubbing your head with one hand and holding your small hands with the other. Peter’s face fell as he continued to watch the intimate interaction, but nothing could’ve prepared him for your next words.

“I love you, Bucky,” you admitted, causing everyone’s eyes to widen. Peter’s mouth opened in shock and tears began to fall; his heart utterly shattered into a million pieces as he watched your loving eyes stare into Bucky’s, but he failed to realize how Bucky didn’t reciprocate those emotions. Instead, Bucky froze, unable to believe your words. That couldn’t true, Bucky thought to himself. You once told him about your feelings towards Peter, there was no way in hell that you were in love with Bucky.

“Uhh,” Bucky breathed out, attempting to step back, but you tightly held onto his fabric, refraining him from doing so.

“It’s true,” you professed, “I can’t help it, Bucky. I’ve always loved you, and I want you to be mine forever.” Bucky felt his face turn red from embarrassment as he continued to stare into your eyes, but as you finished your sentence, he noticed something unfamiliar and unsettling. Your eyes weren’t your usual color; instead, Bucky noticed a faint hint of pink cloud around your pupil until it expanded and covered your irises, the color becoming brighter and impossible to not notice.

While Bucky was examining your eyes, your hands sneakily snuck around Bucky’s neck; in a swift movement, you pulled him closer towards your body and placed a long, loving kiss onto his rough lips. Bucky eye’s widened in pure panic and shock as your lips collided with his, and he tightly grabbed you by the shoulders, disconnecting your lips and forcing you to lean back onto the pillow. You let out a giggle as you wrapped your hands around his waist and pulled him closer, placing your head against his chest. You turned your head, noticing how all eyes were on you and Bucky, but you didn’t seem to mind; Peter and the rest of the team felt as if the room was swirling and all of their mouths dropped to the floor, unable to believe what they saw. Despite everyone seeing you passionately kiss Bucky, they were more worried about how your eyes were a different shade of color and your flamboyant behavior with the soldier. Bruce quickly connected the dots, figuring out that the wound on your stomach, which oozed a strange pink substance, could explain why your eyes were a different color.

Peter felt his blood boil but also extreme sadness engulf him. He wanted nothing more than to land a hard blow on Bucky’s cheek, but he knew it would be wrong of him to unleash his anger onto Bucky for something he couldn’t prevent. However, something was very off, and it deeply displeased the team, especially Peter. Peter turned around to face Bruce and Tony, hoping they could explain what he had to witness.

“What the hell just happened?”

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

While you were resting in the emergency room, the rest of the team were patiently sitting in the conference room, thinking of possible explanations to your odd behavior. Peter angrily leaned against the chair, burning holes at Bucky.

“Tell us what happened on the mission,” Steve said, glancing at Bucky, hoping that they could find the solution to their problem if they went over every detail of the mission. Bucky sat on the chair as Bruce bandaged the cuts around Bucky’s face and body; Bucky let out a sigh as he rubbed his forehead, feeling horrible for not being able to protect you nor having a proper explanation. He ignored Peter’s glare as he attempted to think of any specific information that could be relevant.

“Everything was fine in the beginning,” Bucky affirmed, “but then as we were about to leave the compound, we got ambushed by Hydra soldiers. Y/N and I were fighting the men until one of the bastards cut her with a dagger.” Tony nodded his head, listening to the words of the winter soldier.

“Was there anything on the blade? A weird substance?” Tony asked.

Bucky shook his head, not recalling anything on the blade. “I didn’t see anything on it, but the minute they hurt her, they retreated back to their base. I carried her back to the jet and she immediately passed out when we left.”

Natasha directed her attention away from Bucky to Thor, hoping the Asgardian God of Thunder could provide more about this strange topic. “Thor, is there anything that you know about magic that could explain Y/N’s weird fixation on Bucky?” Thor leaned against his chair, taking a second to think of any possible supernatural explanations.

“Actually,” Thor announced, gaining the attention of the team, “there is.” Peter felt an intense flood of relief wash over him, glad that there was a reason that you fell in love with Bucky. It’s not real, Peter reassured to himself, you’re not really in love with Bucky.

“It seems as if Y/N was put under a love spell. Judging by the pink substance that was coming out of her wound and her eyes turning into a bright pink color, the person behind this has to be doing supernatural or witchery activity. Bucky is the first person she saw, which explains why she’s deeply in love with him.”

“A love spell. There has to be a cure, right?” Nat further asked, hoping they could quickly resolve the issue. She knew how much this was hurting Peter the most; although the affection you were showing to Bucky was not real love, Nat saw how much it broke Peter’s heart. She was willing to do anything to get you back to normal.

“There is. But, we don’t know the spell, so there’s no way we can reverse it. In order to get her back to normal, we need to find whoever put this spell on her,” Thor disclosed.

“Then the viable solution is to head back to the compound and find the person,” Peter suggested to the team, his eyes desperately pleading. The team was silent as they stared at Peter, but before Peter could say his idea, Bucky interrupted him.

“I doubt the Hydra soldiers are still there. They’re long gone by now.”

“Then what the hell do you suggest!?” Peter angrily countered, slamming his hands on the table in frustration. Peter closed his eyes and tried to think of something positive, but the image of you kissing Bucky fueled his anger. Peter let out a sigh, removing his hands off the table, softly apologizing for his sudden outburst.

“We’ll find them,” Steve remarked, assuring Peter that they’ll bring you back to your usual self, “in the meantime-” the sound of the doorknob wiggling caught Steve’s attention, and he stopped talking as he watched you enter the room. Peter quickly stood up, wondering why you were walking despite your conditions.

“What are you doing Y/N? You need to be resting,” Peter stated in a worried tone, walking towards you; your eyes were still a bright pink color, and all Peter wanted was for you to get a proper night’s rest.

“What do you mean? I’m fine, see?” you lifted the shirt, revealing to Peter and the team that you weren’t hurt nor in extreme pain. The gash was gone, but Peter was still anxious, not knowing the effects of the love spell. As Peter tried to force you out of the room, you stepped away from him. You ignored his protests and began to scan around the room until you found the person you were looking for. You brightly beamed as your eyes landed on Bucky, and you pranced towards him, pushing Bruce to the side and sitting on Bucky’s lap. You began to place kisses on Bucky’s cheek, despite Bucky trying his hardest to push you away without hurting you.

“There you are,” you said in between kisses, wrapping your arms around Bucky’s neck. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, sweetie. Did you know I love you? because I do,” you continued to ramble on, playing with the hair strands that fell onto his face.

“Please stop,” Bucky groaned, hating every second of your affection, but you pretended to not hear his comment. All eyes were on Peter as he stood by the door, his fist clenched by his sides. He absolutely hated every second of it, but there was nothing he could do. Until they found the person who cast the spell, Peter would have to deal with your hectic yet romantic remarks and actions. He hated Bucky so much as this moment, but at the same time, he was envious, wishing that he could take Bucky’s spot. Once again, Peter felt his eyes water, but he wiped his tears and cleared his throat. A melancholic expression was embedded on his face, but before Tony could comfort him, Peter turned around.

“Let me know when you reverse the spell. I’ll be in my room,” Peter sadly confessed, walking out of the room and slamming the door shut.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

As days went by, Peter’s attempts to stay in his room until you were back to normal was futile due to the fact that Bruce and Tony desperately needed him. The rest of the team went on various missions in attempts to find the culprit, but they always showed up empty-handed. Therefore, as they continued searching, Bruce and Tony decided to stay in the lab to see if they can create a reversible cure, and Peter was another great mind that can help them during the process. However, Peter was not fond of it. This meant that he would be out of his room, and there would be a higher probability of seeing you with Bucky. Although it already hurt Peter enough since he constantly thought about the various types of affections you were giving to Bucky, his room was like a shield, and it protected him from reality. On the other hand. Peter was glad that he was working with two great scientists; hopefully, their chances of finding the cure would be far greater.

One day, after hours of trying to find a solution and failing miserably, Tony thought it was best to take a break. “Hey, kiddo, how about you relax and eat something in the kitchen? I’ll be there to join you soon.” Although Peter wanted nothing more than to go back to his room, he didn’t want to say no to Tony, so he begrudgingly nodded his head and headed towards the kitchen, hoping he wouldn’t bump into you nor Bucky. As usual, he was wrong. Once he entered the kitchen, he saw you digging through the cabinets, observing as you took out the cake mix and a tray.

“Oh, hey Pete,” you greeted, setting down the objects on the table. You gave him a smile, to which Peter softly returned, but Peter looked around, baffled that Bucky wasn’t there with you.

“Where’s Bucky?” Peter wondered, but his voice was seeping with rage and jealously. He knew it was childish of him to speak like that, but he couldn’t control his anger.

You ignored Peter’s rude tone, “in his room. Do you want to bake a cake with me?” Peter weirdly eyed you, confused as to why you weren’t chasing after Bucky, but he decided to disregard it. If this meant that he could spend any time with you without Bucky getting in the way, then Peter would happily accept. Peter felt his stomach twist with happiness, and he gleefully nodded his head.

“Of course.”

And for a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal. Despite your eyes being a different color, you were acting like your usual self. You were playfully joking around with Peter, you were jamming to your favorite songs, and you were dancing around the kitchen, with Peter following your movements. It was the little things like these that made Peter realize why he was so in love with you. The energy you brought to the room instantly made Peter’s day better, despite the adversity he faced. While a part of him regrets not having the courage to confess his real feelings sooner, being here with you eased the pain. After you carefully covered the strawberry cake with frosting, you leaned back, a satisfactory grin plastered on your face. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Peter admiringly stared at your face but turned his attention away from you to the cake. “It really is.”

“Wait!” you gasped, turning around to face him. You roughly grabbed him by the shoulders, bringing him closer until he was inches away from your face. Peter felt his face get redder by the minute as you proudly smiled at him. “We forgot something!” Peter opened his mouth but you already began digging through the drawers, searching for something. “Aha!” you exclaimed in delight, holding up a red decorating pen. You quickly took off the cap and began to carefully write on the cake, and Peter felt his heart warm as he watched you bite your lip in concentration. As Peter moved to the side to get a better view of what you were writing, his smile immediately dropped as he read the phrase over and over again in his head.

I love you, Bucky

You placed the cap back onto the pen, setting it to the side and turning to look at Peter. Within an instance, you engulfed him in a tight hug, squeezing him as hard as you can, but Peter stood still, unable to speak nor move. You broke away from the hug, grinning at Peter. “Thanks for helping me make this cake for Bucky! I’ll make sure to tell him you helped me.”

No matter how many times Peter tried to convince himself that you didn’t mean those words, it felt impossible. Watching you be in love with Bucky shattered Peter’s hopes and dream, but he forced himself to smile, not wanting to ruin your gleeful attitude. “Of course, Y/N. Happy to help.” You gave him another smile before turning your attention to the cake, prudently picking it up, planning on delivering it to Bucky’s room.

“I’ll make sure to save you a slice,” you promised Peter before saying goodbye and walking out of the kitchen. Peter stood in the middle of the room, his smile quickly disappearing once you were far away. A lump formed in his throat, and although Peter tried his hardest to swallow it, the lump remained lodged, stubbornly rooting itself in his mouth. Just as Tony finally appeared in the kitchen, Peter stormed out, hastily walking towards his room with a distressed expression on his face.

Unfortunately, this wouldn’t be the last interaction he had with you or Bucky. Instead, Peter had to endure various incidences, and every time, he had to swallow his anger and pretend nothing was wrong. He would try to focus on anything that could distract him, but it wouldn’t keep him engaged for long. Every now and then, his eyes would land on you, and it felt like someone was digging a knife in his chest. Whenever Bucky was in the living room sitting on the couch, you would be pressed up against him, your head laying on his chest. Whenever Bucky was in the kitchen or the dining room, you would always sit next to him and hold his hand. You followed Bucky around like a lost puppy, and it was torture for Peter. All of the things you used to do with Peter were no longer happening anymore, and it made things worse for him. Now, he was utterly alone, and although the rest of the team would try to include Peter in their activities, Peter would always decline. Moreover, Peter hated how bright and beautiful your smile was because he wasn’t the reason for it. Peter hated how you looked untroubled and delighted whenever Bucky was by your side. Most of all, Peter absolutely loathed how much Bucky looks unbothered by your undying love for him; Peter noticed the way Bucky would return those smiles, or how he would hug you tighter whenever you laid on his chest, or how he didn’t seem to mind your touches; it absolutely enraged him because Bucky didn’t love you the way Peter did, nor will he ever.

Days turned into weeks, and Peter finally lost his patience. After numerous times of either walking out of the room or remaining quiet, Peter couldn’t take it any longer. Now, Peter stood in front of Bucky’s room and was harshly knocking on his door, ready to confess his true emotions to let Bucky know how much this was destroying him.

“Open up, Bucky! We need to talk,” Peter roughly shouted, growing angrier by the second as Bucky didn’t answer the door. “I know you’re in there!” There was another moment of silence, but Peter could clearly hear Bucky shuffling inside the room. Without any hesitation, Peter grabbed the doorknob and twisted it, swinging the door open. As he entered the room, Peter stopped moving, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach and his body shaking from immense rage at the sight in front of him. Bucky was dressed in nothing but his boxers, and Peter’s eyes flickered towards you, watching how you failed to cover your body with a towel. Peter’s breathing became erratic as he glared at Bucky.

“Peter,” Bucky panted, putting on a shirt and trying his best to distance himself from you, “I promise you, it’s not what it looks like.”

“Not what it looks like?!” Peter shouted in rage and betrayal. “It’s exactly what it looks like!” Tears started to pour down Peter’s face as he assumed the worst, but he quickly wiped the tears away. Pure hatred started to course throughout his body, taking complete control, and without a second thought, Peter charged at Bucky, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him against the wall. You let out a scream as you watched Bucky’s face turn red, but his attempts to push Peter away were useless.

“You fucking asshole!” Peter roared at Bucky, tightening the grip he had on Bucky’s neck. “You think you can just manipulate Y/N like that? I’ll fucking kill you!” Within a second, Peter lifted Bucky up and tossed him across the room, his body hitting the wall; the amount of strength Peter used caused a huge crack to form on the wall, and Bucky doubled over, the impact catching him off guard. Bucky groaned in pain, but he, too, felt his anger become stronger as Peter attacked him without giving him a chance to speak. As Bucky attempted to stand back up, Peter fully charged at him, colliding with so much strength that they both managed to break the wall entirely. Due to his spider abilities, Peter was the first to stand up, and he roughly grabbed onto Bucky’s shirt. Peter curled his hand into a fist and aimed it at the bridge of Bucky’s nose. Blood splattered all over Bucky’s face and onto the floor, but Peter continued, landing punch after punch, despite your screams and sobs. Within moments, the team shows up to separate Peter and Bucky, and as Tony and Bruce grab Peter by the shoulder and successfully drag him away, Bucky manages to stand back up with the help of Sam and Tony. However, Bucky shakes off their grip and counters with an upward cut to Peter’s jaw, causing him to stagger backward and fall down. Peter angrily spits out blood, but before he could charge at Bucky again, Peter lays on the floor as he watches you gingerly hold onto Bucky’s face, delicately rubbing his jawline in attempts to calm him down. The mere sight of seeing you pick Bucky over Peter caused him to immediately break down; Peter’s lips trembled and a gut-wrenching sob tore through his chest once he realized what he’s done.

“What the hell is wrong with the both of you?!” Steve furiously shouted. Peter looked away due to embarrassment and regret, and he slowly stood up, wiping the blood running down his mouth. Everyone’s eyes prudently observed Peter as they expected him to fight, but Peter’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Bucky felt immensely guilty for what happened, but he didn’t say a word either.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered out, wiping his eyes to the point that they were red and swollen. “I’m so sorry,” Peter repeated before turning around and running down the hallway.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A day after the incident between Peter and Bucky, the team finally managed to find the person who cast a spell on you, and within a few hours, the love spell was finally broken. However, Peter decided upon himself that what he did was unforgivable, and he didn’t deserve to see you. Peter let his rage and jealously take control of him, and he unleashed his pent up emotions onto Bucky. Peter didn’t deserve any love nor forgiveness; no matter how much it broke him because he couldn’t be near you, he also knew that it was a worthy punishment. He feared that you and the rest of the team couldn’t look at him the way you did before, and it absolutely terrified him. Peter pricked at the skin around his nails, completely unfazed as a long layer of skin was ripped from his ring finger, causing a small ounce of blood to seep out; Peter felt completely numb. This was his breaking point. Although the team tried numerous times to speak to Peter, he would either ignore their remarks or scream at them, telling them to leave him alone.

However, you yearned to see Peter, despite what happened a day ago. You knew he was feeling extremely guilty, but all you wanted to do was be by his side and console him. Therefore, this was the reason you were standing in front of his door; you hesitantly knocked, listening to him slightly move but no response came out of him. You knocked again, putting a bit more force, causing Peter to rise from his bed; he didn’t want to yell at the person standing in front of the room, but he was already growing tired of explicitly telling the team that he wanted to be left alone.

“I told you to leave me alone,” Peter spat as he came closer to the door and began to unlock it; Peter intentionally made sure every word reeked of frustration so the person got the gist that he wasn’t fooling around. As Peter grabbed the doorknob and slightly opened the door to personally confront the person, he felt his heart drop once he realized it was you who was standing in front of his door.

“Y/N?” Peter said in disbelief, completely taken aback; he thought you would want to be as far away from him, but yet, here you were. You sorrowfully stared at Peter, noticing how there were tear stains on his face; his eyes were completely red and swollen and you wanted to engulf him in a hug, but you were afraid that he would push you away. You gave him a soft smile, and you pulled your hair behind your ear. “Can I come in?” you gingerly asked him. Peter opened his mouth, but no words came out; instead, he nodded his head, opening his door and allowing you to come into his room.

Your eyes wandered around the room as you were unsure of how to start the conversation, but you looked into his eyes and gave him a half-hearted smile. Peter returned the simper before it quickly disappeared; his face distorted into one with fear and guilt. “How’s Bucky?” Peter managed to say.

“A broken nose, but he’ll be alright,” you said, noticing how Peter flinched once you told him the truth. You gave him a reassuring smile, but you knew that what you were about to say next was going to make him feel horrible. You let out a sigh, hoping he wouldn’t beat himself up. “I know you think that Bucky was trying to take advantage of me, but that’s not what happened. It was the love spell’s fault, not Bucky’s; I snuck into his room while he was taking a shower, and I tried to seduce him, but he quickly turned me down, saying that it wasn’t the real me, just some chemical in my body that made me believe I was in love with him.”

Peter opened his mouth but no words escaped. He heavily groaned as he walked towards the bed and sat down. You followed his movements, but you left an immense gap between you and him; you were still unsure of what he wanted, and you wanted to respect his boundaries. “Fuck, I look like a fucking idiot now.” There was a thick silence that engulfed the room, but you waited for Peter to continue, hoping that he would tell you more about how he felt. After a minute or so, Peter spoke out. “I didn’t mean to get so angry,” Peter confessed, a solemn look embedded in his facial features. The image of you on Bucky’s bed caused Peter to shake with rage, but then it quickly died down. “But, when I saw you in that bed... I just lashed out. I’m so sorry, for everything; I understand if you or the others don’t forgive me.” You sorrowfully watched Peter’s slouched body, and you took it as a cue to move closer towards Peter. You slowly grabbed his hands, causing him to flinch, but then he instantly relaxed. Although his reaction was capricious and terrifying to witness, you also believed that Peter knew what he did was unjustifiable.

“It’s okay, Peter,” you conveyed, giving him a tight squeeze, “everyone knows you feel guilty, but you shouldn’t carry that guilt until the day you die. As long as you know that what you did wasn’t right, then the others will forgive you. We miss you, Peter. I miss you. A lot, actually.” Peter turned his head as he listened to your words, his heart warming as you tried to make him feel better.

“I missed you too,” Peter revealed, earning a smile from you.

“Can I tell you something?” you whispered, afraid that if you said it loud enough, you would regret opening your mouth. Peter nodded his head, leaning further into your touch.

“Anything.”

“I love you, Peter Parker. More than anything in this world, and I’m sorry that I waited so long to tell you this, but after everything that’s happened, I couldn’t hold it in,” you unveiled, feeling your face turn red as you watched Peter stare into your eyes. The silence that followed after caused your heart to beat faster, and you instantly regretted saying those three words to him. Just as you were about to stand up and take back your confession, Peter slowly reached his hands out and gingerly placed them onto your face.

“I love you too, Y/N, and my love is unconditional,” Peter revealed before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. Time stopped when your lips met his, and the feelings you had for Peter only intensified. Your heart pounded in your chest and you felt your body shake; the raw emotions in the way his fingers cradled your face only confirmed that his love was real. At that moment, every breath he took smelled like you, a coconut scent, and he adored every single millisecond. The warm feeling was inviting, and it caused you to pull him closer.

You broke away from the kiss after a while and opened your eyes; it felt as if his lips were still on yours. Peter’s eyes brightened, and he pulled you into his arms, holding you, unable to believe the intimate moment you just shared.

Finally, you stood up from the bed and grabbed Peter’s hand in the process, pulling him up. You gingerly held onto Peter’s face, placing a soft kiss onto his lips as his hands rested on your waist. You smiled into the kiss before breaking away, tugging Peter out of the room. “C’mon. Let’s make Bucky a ‘sorry I broke your nose’ cake.”

294 notes · View notes

ererokii · 4 years

Text

Collision || Izuku Midoriya

Izuku Midoriya x Fem! Reader x Eren Jaeger

Warnings: mentions of death, violence, blood, cussing, mention of pinning, humor, fluff

Word Count: 15,084

Synopsis: After a hard day of training, Izuku drifts off into a new state of mind and meets different people who fight against humanoid creatures to survive.

Taglist (message to be added): @pixxiesdust @kingtamakimurder @shoutosteakettle @hawks-senseis @saltie @shoutodoki @sugacookiies @fryingpanitachi @wesparklebitch @diorsho

➺ Note: This is for the @bnhabookclub’s bingo event is The prompt is Anime Crossover. If you haven’t watched/read Attack on Titan, I suggest you do before this! This contains spoilers from season 1. Big thank you to @shoutosteakettle @diorsho @kingtamakimurder and @pixxiesdust for betaing this!

Bingo Masterlist

“Keep pushing yourself! You’ll never know your full potential if you just give up!” Aizawa’s voice boomed throughout the field, his black eyes scanning the area for any type of fooling around. “Come on, you’re almost done! Finish!”

The students of Class 1-A were on the brink of defeat, each of their bodies begging for a break. Today was no different from other days. Aizawa explained that the class would be sparring for an hour. Of course, this being a usual thing, the students just nodded and took what came to them. Except for this time, they were to run three miles without using their quirks. “You guys need to build up your stamina, and now is the perfect time to do so,” were the words from their teacher. Each student cried in horror, but to no avail, he didn’t care. He wanted them to be the best and reach their full potential. If this is what it takes, so be it. Who would've thought it would be this hard.

Midoriya coughed into his sleeve, gasping for air as bullets of sweat dribbled down his face. His body was on fire, yet he continued to push forward. His legs were screaming at him to stop, to collapse where he was at, and pass out at any moment. He desperately wanted to but knew what the consequences would be if he listened.

He followed the curve of the dirt path, breathing heavily. He grunted and put his head down, moving his arms in sync with his legs' pace to help him out. “One...one more!” he whispered yelled to himself, wiping the beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

He could hear the whines from his classmates behind him, each of them begging their teacher to stop this madness he called training.

“T-this is too much!” Mina panted, her pace slowing down with each second that passed, her legs ready to fall underneath her. Beside her was Kaminari, who simply nodded in agreement. Both of them were lagging behind more than the others.

“W-we’re almost done, r-right, Tsu?!” Uraraka yelled out for the green-haired girl who was in front of her.

“Ribbit.” Tsu replied weakly, her body hunched over, her pace almost walk like, her hands by her side.

“Out of my way!” Bakugou yelled and sprinted past everyone, catching up to Midoriya. His hands were clenched to contain the sweat from coming out and causing an explosion, something he didn’t want to happen at all. “Deku!!”

Midoriya’s eyes widened as he picked up the pace, ignoring the burning hole of Bakugou’s intense stare. He lifted his head and spotted Aizawa, who wasn’t that far away. ‘There!’ he thought. The sound of heavy footsteps got louder and louder to the point where they were heard right beside Midoriya’s body.

“I won’t let you win!!”

“N-not a race!” Midoriya choked out, refusing to give into the pain. The end line got closer and closer with each step he took.

From his left came another pair of footsteps. He whipped his head and caught sight of red and white hair. Todoroki was beside him, passing him up by a step or two. ‘H-he’s not even tired!’ Midoriya thought in shock, slowing himself down to a jog. Todoroki let out small pants, his form perfect.

Midoriya passed the end line right after Bakugou, who came behind Todoroki.

“You damn Icy-Hot!” Bakugou yelled, opening his palms, a variety of yellows and oranges emitting from his hands in an explosion.

“Bakugou,” Aizawa sternly said, his eyes glowing red, a display of his first warning. Bakugou grumbled in annoyance, lowering his hands to his sides in defeat. Their teacher blinked as his hair fell back to the normal length, looking off to the side at the crowd of incoming students. “About time you all finished. I could have taken a nap, but I had to wait for each and every one of you instead.”

“W-we’re sorry, Mr. Aizawa!” the crowd yelled in agony, all leaning over to place their hands on their knees, gasping for as much air as their lungs could take.

He watched them before turning around to face the other three. “Good job. Could have been done faster but this is acceptable for not using your quirks. Everyone!” he yelled, taking a step back as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. “We’re done for today. Head back to the dorms and clean yourselves up. Tomorrow is your rest day, use it well. Don’t let me catch you guys doing something you aren’t supposed to.”

Aizawa let out a low groan at his unresponsive students. “Take your time,” was all he said before making his leave off the field.

“I can’t even move my legs anymore!” Momo gasped, tilting her head back as her shoulders heaved up and down.

“Alright, everyone up! The longer we wait around the more tired we will be! If you have to walk slower than normal then proceed to do so!” Iida took his glasses off, wiping the sweat from the lenses with the sleeve of his shirt.

Groans emitted from different students, some begging to just be left on the floor, others begging to be carried by someone else.

Midoriya helped his friends off the floor with his weakened arms.

“Thanks Deku,” Uraraka whispered tiredly and rubbed the back of her neck. “How were you able to finish so well? You didn’t even look tired from where I was!”

Midoriya grew quiet, his eyes focused on the scars that remained on his hands. A subtle reminder that showed his progress from the beginning till now. Each day he surprises himself with the amount of goals he could complete that he didn’t know he could. “I don’t know,” he whispered, bringing his fingers to the center of his palm. “All I know is that I will continue to give my all!”

Uraraka stared up at him in awe, bringing a hand to her chest. “Well if you’re going to give it your all, I will too!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Everyone rushed to their showers, some even fighting for a good spot.

Midoriya found himself eating his dinner faster than normal. After cleaning his dish, he immediately made his way up the stairs after saying goodnight to his classmates, desperate to hit his head on the pillow and let sleep take over him.

Every night before he went to bed, he always called his mom. A reassurance thing she asked for before she let him move into the dorms. It made her feel that he was safe at all times, even though it wasn’t the case sometimes.

He tiredly turned his phone off and charged it on the bedside table, letting it fall out of his hand.

“So...so tired,” he whispered, and yawned into the air around him, stretching his body. He winced, already feeling the soreness appearing in his muscles. He stared up at the ceiling, bringing the bed sheets up to his underarms, hands resting on top of the cover.

The longer he stared, the heavier his eyelids felt. His eyes fluttered shut as his body relaxed, all the tension dissolving away. His chest soon heaved up and down in a slow rhythm, small puffs of air entering and leaving his mouth. Soon enough he was in a deep sleep, one that no one could awaken him from.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The ground felt fluffy yet rough at the same time. Was that mud? Was the ground moving? Why was it shaking? It felt like an earthquake kept happening every 10 seconds. A powerful step caused the earth beneath to tremble in fear. Was he dreaming? Was this some simulator the teachers put up for the students again?

Another powerful wave shook the earth yet again. Midoriya’s eyes flew open, as he gasped in fear. He immediately looked up and came face to face with a mixture of blues and greens, clouds swirling around freely.

“What is this,” he whispered to himself, slowly sitting up. His arms felt heavier as he looked down, noticing he was wearing his hero costume. He rubbed the gear for his arms with a finger in suspicion. “Why am I wearing this?”

“Thank god you’re awake, Deku!”

Uraraka?

“Huh?! W-what are you doing here, Uraraka?!” He looked around and noticed that his friends were surrounding him, all wearing their hero costumes. “W-why are you guys wearing your costumes?!”

“Beats me. I’m more concerned about where we are exactly,” Todoroki mumbled, eyeing the area around him.

A field of nothing but grass. Houses were in the distance. Were they abandoned? Did people live all the way out here from Musutafu?

Now that Midoriya thought about it, shouldn’t they be able to figure out where they are by comparing their surroundings to pictures on the internet? He rubbed the side of his head. “Does anyone have their phone on them?”

“I don’t have mine.”

“Mine is in my fucking room.”

“I don’t have service.”

Answers of defeat filled the group of friends, Midoriya sighed and stood up, wiping the mud off his suit. “Well, we can’t just sit here and wait. We have to go looking around for someone to help us.”

“Are you fucking crazy? Do you see people around here?! Cause I for sure don’t!” Bakugou yelled, hitting his gauntlets together. “I don’t see shit!”

“Bakugou, don’t use that type of language! We may not know where we are at but we still represent UA!”

Bakugou yelled and lifted his hands above his head, creating a large beam of explosions.

Everything seems still. Not a noise in sight besides the heavy breathing coming from Bakugou. Tsuyu lowered herself to the ground, feeling the dirt patches with her fingers. “It’s shaking.”

This caught the attention of everyone.

“What do you mean by shaking?” Todoroki questioned, squatting beside her to see what she was talking about.

Todoroki got quiet and looked around for the source. “She’s right. It’s shaking.”

Midoriya felt his head cloud up with thoughts. “That’s impossible. It can’t be shaking if we’re the only ones here. Right? I don’t see anyone besides us. It doesn’t make sense,” he mumbled, rubbing his chin in thought as he stared up at the sky. “Unless we can’t see our opponent.”

“You mean someone like Hagakure, Midoriya?” Iida asked, holding his helmet by his side.

“That’s exactly what I mean. But then someone our size couldn’t cause this much trouble.”

“Could it be someone like Mt. Lady maybe?” Uraraka looked over at Midoriya, noticing how tense his body was.

He nodded and sighed. “Maybe we sh-”

The stomping noise in the background grew louder and louder. They felt as if the ground would break and swallow them whole. Incoherent groans became louder. The presence of something bigger than they have ever seen was approaching from behind.

Midoriya looked over his shoulders and felt his soul leave his body, his eyes bulging out of their sockets.

A naked creature that resembled a human-like body ran toward them. It was even larger than Mt. Lady. Blood dripped from its mouth and landed on the roundness of its stomach. Patches of purple and red covered the body. It had a sick grin that made them all shiver where they stood.

“What the hell is that thing?!” Bakugou yelled in shock, his own eyes wide as he stilled in fear.

The thing froze in place, each student on alert for its next move.

“I’ve never seen a simulation like this,” Tsu whispered, staying in a crouched position alongside Todoroki.

“No one move. Maybe it won’t be able to see us,” Iida suggested, his eyes narrowing.

The creature leaned back, then forward again, taking off towards them in a sprint. Its attention was focused on the warmth of the students’ bodies, thirsty to feed itself.

They all screamed in terror, each getting ready to use their quirk if needed.

“I’ll blow its damn head off!!” Bakugou shouted, opening his palms.

“A 15 meter, Captain!!”

“Move!”

In the blink of an eye, a hook like material shot out from the trees, catching the eye of the creature. A body flew from the shadows and swung itself around the humanoid creature before speeding up towards the nape of its neck, slashing a clean cut, making the creature freeze up and fall to its knees.

The new arrival let out an annoyed sigh, watching the blood of the creature evaporate into thin air. “I hate these things.”

“Another nice kill, Captain Levi! Although I’m coming close to being like you.”

“Cut the crap Oluo. No one cares that you’re trying to imitate the Captain.”

“Oh Petra, don’t you worry about that.”

“I hope you choke on your tongue!”

Midoriya gaped at the small man, who was staring at his blades. “H-he just took it down with one swift move!”

“Hm?” Levi looked up and narrowed his eyes, readying his blades. “Who the hell are you brats? How did you make it outside the wall without permission?”

“The wall?” Uraraka asked. “What wall are you talking about?”

“Sir, they aren’t even in uniform. I’ve never even seen anyone make whatever they are wearing.” Eld spoke from beside him, eyeing each student from head to toe.

Midoriya studied their uniform. A green cape was tied around their neck and flowed behind them with the wind. A brown fitted jacket was underneath that was long at the arms but cut short at the torso. The shirt under the jacket had brown straps going across the chest that wrapped around to what Midoriya assumed was their back, leading to the brown belt that resided on their hips. It looked like a brown spandex at the top of their thighs, more straps peeked out from underneath, wrapping around their thighs till it went lower until it was hidden by the brown boots.

‘A different type of costume? Well they all have the same thing on,’ he thought and coughed awkwardly. “Um, we don’t even know where we are. We just ended up here.”

“Ended up here, huh?” the man asked and sheathed his blades back into the grey boxes that rested beside his thighs.

“That’s a cool costume you got there!” Uraraka stared in awe as she stared at the group of people behind the short black haired man.

“Costume? Look kid, I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but it’s not cute!” The curly brown haired man said, unsheathing his blades, his fingers holding a vice like grip on the handle, a menacing look in his eyes. “Just give the go ahead Captain!”

After his movements, the rest of the group followed suit, ready to attack at any moment.

“We don’t mean any harm! We don’t know where we are at sir!” Iida said, shoving a hand in front of his body, Uraraka and Tsu holding onto each other in terror while Todoroki and Bakugou watched in silence, hands by their sides.

“Blades down,” the short man instructed.

“But s-sir we don’t know if they have abilities li-”

“I said blades down!” he shouted, turning around to face them. “That was an order.”

They all eyed each other, silently communicating before putting the blades away.

Midoriya felt his heart go many miles per hour, his heart threatening to explode from the inside out. His hands twitched at his sides. Who were these people? Why would they jump a bunch of lost kids?

He looked up and made eye contact with the strawberry blonde. Her gaze was not how it was before when she bantered. No, her eyes were like those of a predator eyeing its prey, waiting for a slip up to pounce at any given moment. He gulped and took a step forward, wary of what they might do if he moved too quickly.“E-excuse me sir. We just need help getting back to Musutafu.”

“Musutafu? Where is that? In all my years, I’ve never heard of that place.”

Midoriya’s face went pale.

“You look like you just took the biggest shit.” He sighed and grabbed the rein’s of his black horse. “We better keep going or at this rate more abnormals will appear. Can you at least walk?”

“Y-yes sir, we can!”

“Get a move on. Walk in front of us. We’ll surround you from the sides and the back. Go. Now,” he commanded, his narrowed grey eyes following the group of bodies as they began to walk hesitantly in front of them.

‘We need to keep ourselves ready for anything,’ Midoria thought to himself as he peeked over his shoulder, his green eyes catching sight of the blond’s eyes. The blond was focused, looking forward at all times. He was tense by the looks of it. One of his hands was gripping the reins of the horse, the other hand was placed on the grey box.

‘Who are these guys?’ he wondered and faced forward once again, his green curls bouncing with each step he took.

He glanced over at Bakugou, who was even silent for once. ‘Is he scared like the rest of us then? Todoroki too?’

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

A big cement wall loomed before them as they approached, the brick gate with an outline of a girl—a princess—was being lifted off of the ground. As they walked inside, the gate slammed shut, the group of students jolting at the noise.

Hundreds of houses filled the vicinity, the main street full of a small city life. Children ran around without a care in the world. Men and women were working in small or large stands to provide for their family.

Midoriya noticed the change of clothes. Instead of shorts, tank tops or regular shirts, they were replaced with clothes of rough cloth. The pants were a little above the ankle, everyone wearing a coat or not, in some cases, a scarf.

“L-look! It’s the Levi Squad!!”

“So that must be his name,” Todoroki mumbled quietly, keeping his hard gaze displayed on his face.

“Spare me, please,” Levi mumbled to himself, ignoring the bright stares from people of all ages.

“Uh excuse me but—” Uraraka scooted closer to the female, gulping when the strawberry blond looked down at her. “—where exactly are we?”

“We’re in Wall Rose. The middle of the three walls.”

“Walls? If this is the middle, what happened to the first?”

“Destroyed. The Colossal Titan broke the gate, titans breaching inside and ate more than half of the civilians living in Wall Maria.”

Her demeanor dropped quickly as she took a step away, the brunette looking down at the pink of her shoes. “Oh,” was all she said.

“Damn these kids talk so much, huh?” Oluo yawned loudly to purposely irritate Petra.

Petra shook her head. “You act as if you don’t talk our ears off.”

“Oh but I know you lov-” His horse’s foot hit a rock, and the man jolted up as his teeth clamped around his tongue, his eyes widening as he let out a shriek of terror.

“I-is he okay?!” Midoriya gasped, blinking in surprise at the sudden change of mood.

“Yeah. Just ignore him. One day I’m hoping he bleeds to death like that,” Petra said in a playful tone, but deep down she meant what she said.

As they continued on, an old castle came into view. It was shabby, hands down. Vines surrounded the area in patterns that didn’t make sense. The door was sealed shut with iron bars.

“A castle?! Are you guys a bunch of princesses or something?! Is this some fucking fairytale?!”

“Oh wow, kid’s got spunk. I like that one.”

“Shut up, Oluo. No one cares what you like.” The blond, who they came to find out was named Eld, said with a disapproving shake of his head.

“Huh?! Some do! Isn’t that right Petra?”

“Say that again and I’ll cut your tongue and force it down your throat.”

Oluo let out a booming laugh, his hands up in a mocking motion. “Oh just wait till we get married, dear! We’re practically bickering like an old married couple!”

“Captain Levi!!”

“Oh here comes the other one we forgot.” Oluo sighed in annoyance, getting off of his horse and tying the rein to the stable.

A brunette with turquoise eyes came running up to the smaller man, stopping in front of him and placed his right fist to his heart, his left fist resting on the small of his back. “Glad to see you back, Sir!”

“Relax before you hurt yourself brat.”

“Sir!”

“Where’s Y/N?”

“She’s cleaning the room like you asked before you left!”

An approving nod escaped Levi’s throat, moving out of the way as one of his arms extended to the group of kids. “Introduce yourself.”

Eren let out an awkward cough, straightening his posture. “I’m Eren Jaeger! Pleasure to meet you all!”

Midoriya eyed him up and down quickly before stepping forward. “I’m Izuku Midoriya. That one is Ochako Uraraka, the one next to her is Tsuyu Asui. The blond is Katuski Bakugou, the one behind him is Tenya Iida and the red and white haired one is Shouto Todoroki.” he said, making sure to describe each of them so they knew who was who.

“Great. Now that this is done, we have to make preparations for the upcoming expeditions. Eren, go get Y/N for me.”

“Yes sir!” Eren saluted once more before taking off in the direction of the castle, swinging the doors open and slammed them behind them.

“Tch. That brat, I told him not to slam them anymore.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Eren ran through the quiet halls, the soles of his shoes hitting the rugged floor with each step he took. After the attack on the Trost District, he was brought up and joined the Levi squad, known as the Special Operations Unit, after Levi vowed to watch over him and would kill him if it came to that.

Everyday when he woke up in a sweaty shirt that was once clean, in that dirty cell at the bottom of the castle, the terrors that happened in the past five years would be on replay. The death of his mother, Carla Jaeger was something he could never forget. He remembers the look of fear in her eyes. She didn’t want to die. No one did. Sometimes throughout the day, he would get flashes of the death of people from his squad, specifically Mina and Thomas.

With the newfound power he had now, he could save those that not even Captain Levi could. When Hanji experimented on him for the first time, he remembered the look in Squad Levi’s eyes. All of them weren’t afraid to kill him, they were just fulfilling their duties as soldiers.

After Levi vowed to watch over Eren, he also brought another soldier with him. This soldier was tied for first place with Mikasa Ackerman within the 104th Cadet Corps. Of course the higher ups were wary of Levi’s decision but trusted his judgement nonetheless.

“Y/N! Captain Levi is calling you!”

Your eyes widened as you whipped around, holding the broomstick in between your hands in fear. “W-why?! I didn’t do anything right?! Oh god I knew I should've cleaned the stables before he asked!”

Eren tilted his head slightly and shook his head. “No. There are new people outside.”

“New people? Like new joins?”

“That’s the thing,” he started off and removed the piece of cloth around his neck, folding it. “I’ve never seen these people throughout our training years. Plus the clothes they wore are kinda, uh, ugly.”

A small giggle escaped as you leaned the broom against the wall. “They sound hideous already. Did he say why he needed me?”

“No, but I suggest you go now. I can go with you if you like. He probably needs both of us!”

“That’s kind of you, but I can go by myself Eren.”

“Y-you’ll get lost!”

You stared at him for a couple of seconds before approaching him, placing the back of your hand against his forehead. “Did they push you too hard? I’m sure if you ask for a break they’ll give it to you!”

With a growl, he pushed your hand off of his forehead, the shell of his ear turning red. “I’m fine!” His ears only turned red when he began to lie. “J-just get going! I’ll be out there soon!”

Your shoulders shook as your laugh blessed Eren’s red ears. “Alright alright! I’m going! Don’t hurt yourself, big boy,” you teased, sliding a finger under the strap on his back and pulled it, releasing it as it hit his back, a shriek emitting from the brunette’s mouth.

“H-hey!” he yelled, his foot stomping against the ground as he turned on his heel to get back at you but you were long gone already. He let out a deep sigh, a small smile gracing his features. His turquoise eyes glanced around the room before walking out the door. “This should be fine.” He reached out behind him, hand wrapping around the doorknob and slammed the door shut.

When he first joined the Scouts, he was always reminded in some shape or form on how much of a bloodthirsty monster he was. Of course he couldn’t fight back. He was chained most of the time when he wasn’t above helping Levi and the others. Eren considered you to be one of his trusted allies. When both of you were brought up, you stuck with each other no matter what. Every night before he went to bed, you would always visit him and listen to him talk. Talk about how poorly he was treated when he asked for basic things such as water or if he could use the bathroom. It broke your heart to hear him speak that way and watch the waterfall of tears escape its confinements.

Maybe that’s why Eren started to feel a certain way towards you. One that caused his whole face to heat up, made him feel sick to his stomach in a good way, or made him feel that he always had to protect you with his whole being. Eren knew he held feelings for you deep in his heart, but couldn’t say anything yet. When the time was right, he would bring it up.

He made a promise to himself, that you would see the outside world, with or without him.

As you walked down the halls to the outside, your smile immediately dropped as you passed by fellow soldiers. Instead it was replaced with a smirk. “He’s cute. Maybe I’ll date him before I’m found out. Or maybe I’ll convince him.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You rolled your head to lean against your shoulder, a loud groan leaving your lips. “Fuck, let’s do this.” You let out a deep breath and placed your hands on the wood, swinging them open. “C-Captain Levi! Eren said you needed me!” you panted softly, walking towards his smaller body. “I-I’m not in trouble am I?!”

“Yeah. Show these kids around. We can’t have them lounging around anywhere.”

You glanced over the brightly dressed group of people. ‘Oh. Eren was right about this,’ you thought and nodded. “Yes sir!” You glanced over at Petra and waved excitedly. Out of everyone from the Levi Squad, she was by far your favorite.

Petra enjoyed your enthusiasm. She thought it was much needed in such a depressing place.

“Oh she’s cute! I call dibs!” Bakugou yelled, startling you slightly.

Midoriya gasped. “Kacchan you can’t say things like that!”

“The hell I can!!”

You laughed nervously and rubbed the back of your head. “Uh..thank you? I guess? Anyway my name is Y/N Y/LN! I’m a part of Squad Levi just like Eren, the angry one that was here before me!”

“I told you I’m not angry!!”

You gasped in happiness and clasped your hands together, bringing them to rest against your cheek. “My hero is here!!”

Eren stumbled over his own feet and stuttered noises out. Levi sighed and brought his hand up and slapped Eren across the head.

Uraraka gasped in fear. “Y-you hit him!”

“He always does. Don’t worry too much about it,” Eld replied. “Y/N shouldn’t you show them around, like the Captain said?”

“Oh yeah! Sometimes I just get ahead of myself! Come on!” You looked over them before sticking your index finger out. “You! You look smart! I’m talking with you.”

Midoriya stared at your finger and nodded slowly. “Alright then. Come on, guys.” He waved to his group of friends, Bakugou growling in annoyance.

“Stupid Deku,” he mumbled.

Opening the doors inside, you watched each of them go inside then followed them from behind.

“Wait!”

“Bye Eren!” You laughed and shut the doors before he got any closer. You could hear a loud groan.

“So those people,they are your...team?” Iida said awkwardly, rubbing the back on his neck.

You nodded. “Uh huh. The short one is our Captain. I bet when they saw you they were gonna kill you huh?”

“How did you know that?” Tsuyu asked, somewhat interested if you had a special quirk. “Do you have a quirk?”

“A quirk? What’s that?”

“A quirk is something that we’re born with but doesn’t manifest till the age of four or five. Some people don’t get a quirk.” Todoroki chimed in coolly, running his hands on the grey walls of the hallway.

You opened your mouth to say something but decided to close it. “Nope! Don’t have one. Never heard of that anyway. I don’t think anyone here has… a power like that. Well except Eren of course!”

“That’s dude out there? Does he have a quirk?! What is it?!” Midoriya gasped in surprise, taking you by surprise.

“O-Oh! He can become a 15 meter titan and control it!” you stuttered out, your cheeks darkening. He was cute, you had to give it to him.

“That’s awesome! He’s just like Mt. Lady! But here!”

“Shut up nerd, no one cares about that.”

“Bakugou! You can’t talk like that to Midoriya!”

“And who are these people?! I have never seen them in my life! Y/N where did you get them from?!”

In front of you stood a rather tall woman, wearing glasses with an elastic band that went around her head. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, strands sticking out.

“Hanji!” you saluted her, the group behind you surprised by the sudden change of behavior. “Squad Levi found them outside the walls and brought them along!”

“Outside?!” she whispered yelled. “How did you guys end up outside the walls without permission?!”

“We didn’t, four eyes! The short stack out there just found us and brought us to this hell hole!”

A howling laugh left her mouth, clapping her hands together. “I like you!!” she stopped laughing and turned towards you. “We have even bigger news. The 57th Expedition is coming up. And we’re bringing members from the 104th Corps. Plus my two test subjects were killed two days ago. Everyone is getting their gear checked. We don’t know who it is yet, but we need to find out soon.”

In the back of your mind, a voice was laughing, taunting them for their stupidity. For people as intelligent as they were, they needed to open their eyes to realize the truth. You had a mask on. One that everyone would see soon. If you were slick enough, you could wear it for a bit longer.

“I heard about that, but Eren and I weren’t able to stay for long. Commander Erwin asked us a difficult question that we didn’t know how to answer.”

Hanji nodded in thought, kicking at the ground. “He told me what he asked. It sounds difficult for someone who doesn’t know what’s going on.”

“Sorry to interject but--” Midoriya chimed in, taking a step forward. “Maybe we can help? We are training for things like this.”

“Oh? You are? Well I don’t see why we would say no. Follow me.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You stood in the back, watching Hanji interact with Midoriya. He was pretty spot on with his observations. He reminded you of Armin in a way, over analyzing things to the point where they actually figured it out. You couldn’t help but mumble things underneath your breath.

“Can’t wait to finish them off,” you whispered in your mother tongue, a downcast on your face. You dug your fingers into your forearm, ignoring the pain that your nail was inflicting upon you.

“This is too fucking pointless!” Bakugou screeched, wisping out a single explosion from his palm. Hanji screamed in excitement and pointed at his hand. “How did you do that?!”

“What the hell do you mean four eyes?!”

“You have a power just like Eren does! Do all of you have one?!”

“Yes we all do ribbit.”

“You have to show me! I really really wanna see!” Hanji launched forward and grabbed both of Todoroki’s hands, gripping them with no intent of letting go. “What can you do?! Oh I bet you can become a 20 meter!”

“Squad Leader!” you yelled, walking towards the group now. “Harassing them like that won’t work out! We’re near an open area! Why don’t we just go and we can take our gear!”

Hanji slowly turned her head to you, her lenses of her glasses all fogged up, shielding her eyes from you. “That...sounds wonderful! That’s exactly what we will do! Your gear is over there! Hurry up now!”

You rolled your eyes at your commanding officer, making your way to the crate where your omnimobility direction gear was resting. You grew silent, your own thoughts circling your mind.

It’s three more days till the expedition. Three more days till Annie will pop up again. Three more days till you’ll be going back home with her.

You wrapped the gas compartment around your back, tightening the grip so it didn’t fall off. Your fist came down on the boxes beside you, eyeing the grip of your blades that peeked out. “Hate putting this shit on..” you whispered and turned around, shaking your legs a bit before following Hanji, the clanking of your gear sounding behind you.

“Is that heavy?” Midoriya asked out of nowhere.

“Oh uh..no? But yes at the same time. It’s light enough to keep us moving but enough to ground us again. We’ve been training with these for the past three years. It’s like second nature.”

“Oh so you mastered it?”

“Well I guess you can say that!” You smiled and nudged him with your elbow, making the poor boy stumble slightly and laughed nervously.

“I have something else I wanted to ask you.”

“Go right ahead, Midoriya.”

“How are you so happy? With those- those monsters out there, death lurking around every corner.”

You hummed and looked up at the sky, relishing the way the breeze felt against your body. “I don’t know. We’re all going to die eventually, some sooner than others. Why be sad when you can be happy? Seems like a waste of time to me. Although some of us will be affected forever.”

He stared at you, shocked by your answer. “How old are you?”

“I’m 16 years old. And you, Midoriya?”

“16 as well...” he trailed off. “Wow. It must be terrible huh?”

“Mm...yes. For me, it makes me feel alive. The adrenaline of fighting those things outside. For my own freedom. It makes surviving that much better, ya know?”

“Y/N!”

Your eyes widened as you turned on your heel, doing a little excited bounce with your feet. “I thought you couldn’t come!”

“Captain Levi gave me permission! Plus he had to come because Hanji sent Moblit to ask him if we could do more experiments!” Eren yelled over his pants for air, wiping the sweat off with his brown jacket.

“Awesome! Maybe he’ll let me take you down as well!”

“Oh is that so?” He grinned, his eyes crinkled at the corner.

You nodded proudly, placing your hands on your. “Yup! I’m going to be the next Captain Levi!”

“Oh I don’t doubt that!”

“Stupid fucking love birds.”

Eren whipped his head towards the noise, his eyes narrowing in on Bakugou’s hunched form. “So I can tell you’re the annoying one out of everyone.”

“What did you say, brown hair loser?!”

“I said what I said!”

“You fucking–” Bakugou growled.

“Enough! Bakugou stop picking fights!” Todoroki snapped, placing a hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Ignore him. He doesn’t know when to open and close his mouth.”

“Icy-Hot, you bastard!”

You giggled and bent over, touching your toes in a stretch. “I’m ready to start whenever Hanji!”

Hanji took a step back, holding a clipboard in her arms. “Alright Eren! Whenever you’re ready to begin! And you guys can just go along with them! I can’t wait to see what you guys can do!”

“Already forcing people you don’t know into doing things, huh shitty glasses?”

“Levi! Amazing you could join us! Yes! The blond one sent an explosion off from his hands! It was something I've never seen before! Maybe they could be of use!”

Levi cleared his throat and wiped something off from his jacket. “Maybe. Of course we have to fill Erwin in on this.”

Eren moved away from everyone, making eye contact with you and nodded back when you nodded in reassurance to him. He took a deep breath and brought his hand up to his mouth.

“What is he doing?” Uraraka whispered, bringing her hand to her mouth.

Eren opened his mouth and bit down on it, his teeth digging into his flesh, blood seeping out from his mouth.

Uraraka screamed, dropping her helmet to the ground, shaking Tsuyu by her arms. “H-He bit his hand! He’s gonna bite his hand off!”

“Relax!” You waved it off, no sense of urgency displayed on your visage. “He’s fine! Give it a second!”

A strike of lightning hit his place, smoke immediately circling the area, seeming endless. Midoriya watched in awe, the yellow of the lighting reflecting off of his green irises. “Wow..” he whispered softly, fascinated. This was something bigger than anything he had seen in all his years. Something more bigger than All Might.

He felt his heart drop when he saw a shadow behind the smoke, a figure standing up until it was looming over everyone.

A loud roar filled the area, the nearby birds flying away as fast as they could.

“..Woah” Todoroki whispered, his once narrowed eyes, open wide.

“Wow indeed! Is it possible to control something that huge?” Iida asked Hanji, staring up at the titan with brown hair.

“Yes! For Eren, it seems that his limbs are attached to the flesh inside. Picture it as a robot, his body is inside controlling every move!”

“Fascinating!” Iida yelled, fixing his glasses.

Midoriya glanced over at you. A scowl was present on your face. You didn’t seem happy at all. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Huh?!” you jolted up and nodded. “Yes I’m okay! Just thinking!” you smiled cheerfully and turned around, facing the trees. “No point in standing around right?! Come on Eren! After you!” you yelled, hands by your mouth to echo the sound to his ears.

Eren looked down at your ant like figures, his ears twitching before lifting a foot and took a step forward, beginning his run. Each step that he took was a shake to the core of the earth.

The shaking slowed down the farther he ran out.

“Meet you guys there!” You sent a wink towards Midoriya’s way, facing your hips toward a tree in front of you.

He felt his face heat up, sweat forming under the tuft of hair on his forehead. “W-what are you doing?!”

Hooks shot out from the box as you pressed a button on the blades, gas shooting out from the device behind your back. Your body was propelled forward, your hair flowing behind you as the hooks kept attaching from tree to tree.

“Go! You heard her!” Hanji shooed them with her hand.

They all looked at each other, hesitant to move.

“Well!” Bakugou snapped, opening his palms. “You heard the crazy lady!” He yelled and had a running start, moving his hands behind him, his explosions going off as he was shot forward, his feet off the ground.

“Might as well right.” Todoroki lifted his right arm and started running, shooting ice into the ground as it carried him off, riding the ice as if it was a surfboard.

“He’s right ribbit.” Tsuyu looked up at Uraraka, crouching down to a frog-like stance. “Just try not to throw up!”

Uraraka gasped and ran after the jumping girl. “Tsuyu! You can’t just say that!” she placed her hands onto her round cheeks and started to float off the ground, holding her breath in.

“Well Midoriya, guess this is a race then.” Iida smirked, getting in a runner position.

“Is that so?” Midoriya shot back, feeling the base of his quirk taking control. His body was now covered in sharp quick blue shocks. “Ready when you are!”

Iida laughed, taking off right there with Midoriya hot on his trail.

Hanji and Levi watched in astonishment. Well, mostly Hanji. Levi hardly showed any emotion to anyone or anything.

“Levi did you see those kids? They could- they could help on our expedition. That Bakugou kid, he could possibly explode their nape off. Todoroki could freeze any fast abnormal that comes our way and gives us a shot at killing them. Iida could probably get to places if we ever need to relay a message. The two girls seem to be able to work together, possibly able to tie the titan down. And Midoriya, he can maybe hit their nape off, if he’s strong enough. Levi do you know what this means?! With these kids we can go further than before!” Hanji exclaimed, throwing the clipboard on the floor

“We need permission from Erwin of course. He might accept them or not. If he does then we have to make sure they are our top priority alongside Eren. With those few, plus Y/N, we could possibly come back more than before.”

“They seem like they can hold their own.”

“Yeah. But they freaked out the minute one of those naked bastards came up.”

“Squad Leader! Captain Levi! The new recruits are here!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The clanging of the gear didn’t stop. Levi and Hanji escorted all of you back to base.

“I know for a fact it’ll be Mikasa and Armin,” you whispered, slowly walking to nudge yourself between Eren and Midoriya.

“What about Sasha and Connie?”

You shook your head. “Connie decided he was gonna be in the Scouts but he looked like he met a ghost after the Trost Attack. I think he possibly changed his mind.”

Eren got quiet. “Mina and Thomas would have been here for sure.”

An uncomfortable silence swept between you two. “What happened was inevitable. As much as I don’t like to say it...” You trailed off, placing a hand on Eren’s tense shoulder and squeezed gently. “Some were bound to die whether we liked it or not.”

“Mina and Thomas?” Uraraka asked softly, afraid it was a touchy subject. You could hear the sudden hitch in Eren’s breathing.

“They were our comrades. They...unfortunately died when trying to protect the city of Trost. It’s a touchy subject for most, but it can’t be hidden forever.”

“I’m so sorry for that,” she whispered, hesitantly placing a hand on your wrist. “I-it’ll be okay!”

You glanced down at her hand, a smile crossing your features. “Thank you, Uraraka. I appreciate it.”

Shoes tapping against the floor increased in volume as voices got louder and more easier to hear.

“Captain! Can we be excused to talk to our friends?” you begged Levi, clasping your hands in front of your chest. He stared at you unemotionally, not caring what you did or didn’t do.

“Go.”

Your face broke out into a smile as your smaller hand put itself in Eren’s bigger hand. “Come on!” You tugged his body after you, both of you running towards your comrades.

Eren’s entire face heated up, the shell of his ear burning up. ‘S-she’s holding my hand!’ he thought frantically and desperately wanted to hold it forever. He gently squeezed your hand, afraid of what you might do. Much to his surprise, you squeezed back. He could pass out right there if he could.

“Sasha! Connie!” You waved, jumping up. “You guys joined after all?!”

The brunette girl turned around quickly and gasped. “You’re okay!” She launched forward at you, wrapping her arms around you tightly. You reciprocated her hugs, squeezing the life out of her. She was one of the few hearts you didn’t want to break, but you had too.

“I didn’t know h-he took you! You didn’t say goodbye!” she wailed, rubbing her cheek against yours.

“Sasha you were one of the first I told!”

“Well if it isn’t Y/N huh?”

You looked over your shoulder, your eyes widening. “What are you doing here? I thought you went to join the Military Police.”

The two toned male sighed and shook his head. “No. I didn’t after all. Marco...”

“Marco? Where is Marco?”

The taller male turned and looked at Eren. “He’s dead. He died in Trost.”

Eren’s eyes widening, his heart stopping as his blood turned cold. “You're joking. Marco’s not dead. He’s hiding somewhere, right?”

Jean stayed silent, staring him down.

“Oh my god,” you whispered and covered your mouth, looking down at the solid ground, shutting your eyes but no tears came out. Instead, under your hand, your lip curled in a grin.

“Eren, are you hurt? Have they done anything to treat you unkind?” A ravenette girl came forward, taking Eren’s hands in her own. “Have they put you under hard punishments?”

“W-what? No, I'm fine Mikasa. If anything I have to thank Captain Levi for saving me.”

Mikasa growled, her black eyes focused on the short man not that far away from them. “He wi- Who are they?”

“Hm? Oh them. We don’t really know who they are just yet. Captain Levi found them outside the walls.”

“Outside? And they weren’t arrested?” Armin asked, staring at Midoriya. “Huh, that’s weird.”

Midoriya looked away and rubbed his arm. “I don’t know how we’ll get home. I don’t even know how we got here in the first place. Do any of you?”

“Not at all, Midoriya. My first thought was that this was a simulator of some sorts. That maybe Mr. Aizawa could come out of nowhere.”

Midoriya nodded and rubbed his chin. “Possibly...”

“What the hell are you looking at, long face?!” Bakugou yelled, walking up to Jean, who was staring him up and down.

“You of course,” Jean replied, a small smirk forming. “How could I not stare when someone’s hair looks like explosive shit?”

“You look like a stupid fucking horse!”

Connie stifled his laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. “H-he called you a horse! Oh my god that is always so priceless!”

Jean growled, obviously fed up. “Least I have some fucking hair you idiot! Where’s yours huh?! You still look like a baby with that head of yours!”

“Least my head is normal looking, Jean-Boy!”

“I thought I told you to forget about that Connie!”

“He always has to start something huh?” Todoroki sighed, his tufts of hair shaking with his head. “He better keep his mouth shut. We aren’t at school anymore. Who knows if he comes into contact with the wrong person.”

“Agreed. I overheard the woman with the glasses talking with the short one about making us join...an expedition, I think it was,” Tsuyu whispered, playing with the cuff of her hero costume.

“An expedition? What��s that?” Iida muttered to himself. “Maybe against those things we saw outside?”

“I mean it’s a possibility, but why us? Maybe Eren is the only one with a said ‘quirk.’” Uraraka voiced in, quoting the word quirk.

Midoriya looked over his shoulder, looking for you. Your back was faced towards them, looking up at a buff blond and a tall black haired man. He couldn’t describe their expressions. From the looks of it, it looked like you weren’t happy. You were wildly moving your hands to prove a point you were trying to make, every now and then he heard an angry noise emit from your mouth.

The other two in front of you didn’t look pleased as well. The blond and you were going at it while the black haired was a step back away from the mess, but still listening.

“Why do you always seem so unhappy Y/N,” Midoriya whispered.

“Can she at least come, Reiner?” you growled, your hands gripping the hem of your brown jacket.

“Yes of course she can. She made sure of it. Don’t worry about it,” Reiner sneered, eyes flickering around to make sure you weren’t heard. “Stop bringing it up so much.”

“I’m just making sure. I knew she was going to join the Military Police but I just need clarification.”

The boy beside him sighed nervously. “Look,” he began, “The more you worry, chances are it won’t go well. For the sake of it, don’t bring it up.”

Your eyes stared intensely into his black eyes, as if you were mentally fighting with him. Eventually you faltered and rolled your eyes before smiling. “Got it.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Time seemed to pass faster than light. Has it really been two days already? Two days that the students of UA were stuck in a hellhole, with no teacher in sight?

The students from UA got along well with the cadets from the Survey Corps. It was safe to say some got along better with others with some, or some clashed with others more than usual.

Midoriya would say that he got closer to you. During your chores he always offered to help and of course you always said yes, Levi’s standards were a bit over the top. He noticed your subtle changes. You seemed more tired throughout the day, were you staying up too late at night? What was keeping you up for so long?

Your eyes told a thousand tales that Midoriya wanted to analyze and read every single word, getting closer and closer to the deep meaning of your life. These past two days, he knew that you’ve been concealing your inner thoughts. He begged inside that you could trust him. Was it the past memories? Was it finally getting to you?

At the moment he was watching you from a distance. You were wearing your uniform without the jacket and your boots were resting beside your body. With your eyelids closed, it looked like you were meditating.

Debating whether he should approach or not, you opened your eyes and looked over towards his standing body. “Midoriya?” you questioned, “What are you doing here?”

Embarrassed that he was caught, he stuttered with his words and looked away. “I w-was looking for you is all! I couldn’t find you earlier!”

A small “oh” left your lips as you stayed silent before a smile broke on your face. “Well come sit down then, since you made it this far.”

His body moved without thinking, swiftly sitting next to you.

You hummed softly, gazing forward as you stared at the sky, above the top of the 50 meter wall.

“Are you nervous?” he blurted out then covered his mouth with his hand. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to answer that!”

Ignoring his second choice of words, you sighed and slicked the small baby hairs back in place. “Course I am. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to fail.”

“This means a lot for you guys huh?”

“Especially Eren. He’s our most important asset. Without him, we will probably never make it further. We need him. He’s our top priority when protecting.”

“Is he the only one?”

You tugged at your lower lip with your teeth. “What do you mean?”

“Is he the only one that can turn into a Titan?”

“As far as I know...” you trailed off and watched a leaf petal fall from the tree you were sitting against. “He is. I don’t think anyone has that type of power.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?” he questioned, scooting closer to you, his hand brushing against yours that sent chills down your spine.

Instead of trusting your voice, you simply nodded.

“Why have you been acting differently lately?”

Crap. He noticed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Midoriya.”

“Oh come on. You look more tired lately.” His hand reached out, his pointer finger rubbing the forming bags underneath your eye. “What’s going on inside that head of yours?” he whispered. He hoped he wasn’t invading your personal privacy.

You choked up. You could feel the tears welling up inside. This was something you didn’t want to happen. You didn’t need some stranger cracking your own walls that you set so high that it was impossible for someone to reach. “I...” You trailed off and took a shaky sob. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay. It’s okay to not know. I know we just met two days ago but you can trust me. I won’t ever judge you. I can and will support you no matter what.”

“Midoriya–”

“Izuku.”

“H-huh?” You looked up, your vision blurry by the onslaught of your tears. “Izuku?”

He nodded. “Call me Izuku. It’s my first name.”

“Izuku,” you whispered, the name rolling off of your tongue flawlessly. “Izuku.” You whimpered and wrapped your arms around him, burying your head into his chest.

He tensed up by your sudden movements but relaxed, wrapping his sturdy arms around your form, one of his hands rubbing small soothing circles on the middle of your back. “It’s okay to cry you know.” he said, as your body started shaking in his arms. “Crying is a normal human thing, and you guys have been through hell. You guys are so strong, especially you! To be keeping a strong face for everyone.”

That’s not what it was, you desperately wanted to tell him, but couldn’t. These past two days he’s been filled with information about the expedition and what to expect. Perhaps the one who killed the two test subjects, Sawny and Bean would be there as well. There was already word that there was a traitor.

You couldn’t speak up.

“I just miss my friends is all,” you meekly whispered. It wasn’t a total lie. You missed Marco, Mina, and Thomas dearly. It was just something that wasn’t clearly on your mind.

He stayed silent and began to hum softly, his arms tightening around your body. “You won’t be alone tomorrow. You have us by your side to make sure nothing happens to you, Y/N.”

You squeezed your eyes, a slight ache forming by how tight they were. Your hands reached forward and gripped onto the material on his shirt, holding onto it tight as if you were afraid to let go.

Not one to pry, Midoriya would wait until you were comfortable to speak your feelings to him. He didn’t want to give you the impression that he was a pushy kind of guy. He would wait hours, days even months for you to speak your mind to him. He always thought you were a mysterious type of person.

Your voice was gentle, far more softer than he had heard. If a dove had a voice, it would sound like you. “You’ll be there?”

“I will. We all will.”

“Thank you, Izuku. I appreciate it.”

You were eating yourself from the inside. Your conscience was starting to get the best of you, trying to make you feel guilty for the cause of your actions in less than 24 hours. The guilt weighing down on you, something you couldn’t handle. You couldn’t back down now. No, you had too. It was a promise you were forced to make five years ago.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The Scout Regiment made their preparations. Filling up their gas with max capacity, making sure they were aware of a possible death in the nearby future. It wasn’t something they wanted to know, but it would forever be engraved in their brain.

The 57th Expedition started less than an hour ago. So far things were running smoothly to say the least.

Each student from UA was placed within a group, separated from their friends. Bakugou, Iida, Uraraka and Tsuyu were placed individually in the different four communication squads. Todoroki and Midoriya were placed in the Levi Squad, alongside you and Eren. Levi thought they would be best fit with him.

“The right wing spotters got wiped out sir!” Petra yelled, looking at the beam of black smoke emitting from the side of her body.

“Relay the message.”

“Wait!” you called out, biting your lip as you eyed the smoke. “I’ll go relay it! Petra can stay here sir!”

Levi stayed quiet, his hair brushing against his forehead as his horse ran at top speed. “Fine. Go.”

“Should she be going alone?” Todoroki asked from behind you, Midoriya on the other side of him. “I mean this is dangerous territory. Wouldn’t she need some sort of backup?”

“I’m fine!” you yelled over the wind. “Captain, trust me!”

Trust was a funny word in your vocabulary now. Trust was something that was nonexistent now.

“Go!” he yelled.

You nodded quickly and tugged the reins the other way, your horse letting out a strain noise.

“Be careful Y/N!” Eren said, his hand squeezing your elbow as you brushed past him. Midoriya watched the display and brushed off the feeling of envy.

“I will,” was all you said before taking off in the direction of the black smoke, your form getting smaller and smaller the further you went.

“She’ll be okay right?” Midoriya asked no one in particular.

“Course she will. She may be a kid, but that kid has fight in her. No one stands a chance against that girl. Now keep your eyes on the mission ahead of us!” Oluo snapped, placing his hand on top of Midoriya’s head and made him face forward again. “Don’t make us mess up because of you!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Armin tumbled along the dirt, the members of his squad long dead. The skinless titan, resembling a female swung the wire of his comrade, throwing them down into the ground before stepping on them as she halted to a stop.

Armin scattered up quickly and sat on his knees, the hood of his cape covering his face. A dark shadow looked over him, his eyes widening in fear. He slowly looked up as his hood was lifted off his head.

Sweat formed underneath the front of his bangs. A small puff of air left his lips as the Titan stared into his eyes before letting his head drop back down and stood up. She turned on her heel and took a step forward before bolting down the other direction.

“Why did she...she didn’t kill me,” he whispered and brought a shaky hand to his face, feeling the rugged skin. “She- she stared at my face.”

“Armin!”

The blond boy gasped and looked over. “Reiner!”

Reiner came to his aid, holding the rein of Armin’s horse. “Are you okay? What are you doing in the middle of Titan territory without a horse?”

Armin hoisted himself onto his horse, grunting at the pain that shot throughout his body. “She came out of nowhere. We can’t stay here or more Titans night show up.”

Reiner nodded as they turned their horses abruptly, moving onward.

“She has intelligence. She’s not like any other. She’s...she’s just like Eren.”

“Wait what? How are you so sure?”

“Think about it, it makes sense. She was protecting all of her weak spots. Titan eat people but aren’t murderers. They act on instinct just like the rest of us. However, she just killed them and went about.”

“Like Eren huh? Why didn’t we get a signal? We’re the right wing spotters wiped out?”

“No matter what we still need to,” Armin reached into his pouch and pulled out the flare, twisting it on but to not avail. “Dammit!”

Horse steps from behind were approaching. A yellow flare was sent into the air.

“Why are those things so fucking loud?!”

“Why are you so loud?!”

“Looks like Jean and Bakugou got it.” Reiner looked back forward. “Gotta admit she has a nice ass.”

“You’re really looking at that?! I thought you guys had better game than to be looking at an ass of a Titan!” Bakugou yelled, his gauntlets clanking every now and then.

“Shouldn’t we focus on what's at stake? She could’ve lured the Titans and ambushed the right wing spotters! That’s why we couldn’t see her until she was right on top of us!”

“Jean’s right,” Armin began, his hand reaching for his hood. “She has to be after someone. My bet is Eren. He should be in the center rank, the safest out of the whole formation. But we need to attack her now before it gets worse.” He looked to his right before looking to his left. “Put your hoods on. She won’t kill you if she can’t see you.”

They all did as told, even Bakugou pulled his own up. The Survey Corps supplied the students with their own cape but they still wore their hero costumes underneath.

“If I get close enough I can blow her fucking nape off.” Bakugou growled, sparks popping in his palms. “I’m ready to take her down!!”

With a spoken plan between the four, they moved places and went forward.

The female titan slowed her pace down and averted her eyes downward, a body coming closer to her.

She suddenly swiped at the body, a wave of air hurling towards them that sent their hoodie off, revealing who the person was.

Jean covered his face with his hands before pulling them down. With a turn, she bent down and swiped her hand down, knocking the horse underneath.

Armin’s body fell against the ground, his gear breaking off with each hit it took, his head smacking face first. He let out a low groan, turning his head to face them. Blood was swarming around his eyes.

“Oi you big ugly bitch!!” Bakugou yelled, jumping off from his horse, landing on his feet. “Look at me when I’m talking to you!!”

“Bakugou, no!” Reiner yelled, taking his hood off.

The female titan swung her fist around, her fist aiming right at Bakugou’s body.

“Don’t let Eren die in vain!” Armin yelled, coughing up spit and blood. “She killed him. She’s the reason why he’s dead!! I saw my best friend die in front of my eyes!”

The titan’s arm stopped moving, her body tensing up.

“Why the hell would you bring that up now?!” the explosive blond yelled, stumbling backwards.

“Perfect.” Reiner whispered to himself and shot a hook into the nape of the neck.

‘Is he crazy for doing that?’ Jean thought, leaning against a tree as he watched.

Reiner sped towards her, his blades ready to slice. The female titan turned her head slightly, a smirk growing on her face as she caught him in her fist.

All of their eyes widened. Reiner struggled in her grip, her finger coming on top and resting on his head, pushing down.

Blood exploded from her hand.

“W-wait...” Armin reached out, using his other hand for support.

They all stood in shock.

Did Reiner really just die? After all those years of hard work, did he really just get killed?

Her fingers were cut off, Reiner’s body drenched in Titan blood as smoke emitted from her hand.

“Come on!” he yelled and ran towards Armin, holding his much smaller body on his side. “We can’t stay here long!”

The female titan kept her eyes trained on her palm, reading the engraved words through the smoke. She got up slowly and ran back the direction she came from.

“She’s retreating!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You kept your blades close to your body, resting on a high tree branch, your eyes training on the area around you.

“Come on, where are you?” you whispered to yourself, your adrenaline losing its purpose by each walking second.

You didn’t relay the message. Instead, you went a different route, passing by the squad formations. Deep down you felt horrible. The amount of lives that would be lost by your bloodthirsty ways.

The sounds of hooks caught your attention as feet landed beside you. You looked up at the person, looking into blue like sky eyes.

“Annie, what took you so long?”

Annie sighed softly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Got caught up. I got stopped by Jean and Bakugou along with Armin. Reiner told me where the Levi Squad was placed. They’re in the safest spot, the center rank.”

“The center rank,” you whispered, engraving it in your brain. “Alright. What’s your plan now.”

“All I need you to do Y/N, is stay hidden. Hide in the highest of branches if you have too. Then when the time calls, do it.”

“And what if you’re able to do everything?”

“You’ll know. They’re heading deeper in here as we speak.” She motioned to the entrance with her finger.

“And the Levi Squad?”

“Came in after Erwin ordered it.”

You stayed silent and put your blades back in place, stretching your arms over your head. “Are you able to keep your part in?”

“Can you?”

You laughed and waved your hand at her, her face holding any emotion but amusement. “What’s so funny Y/N?”

“You! Lighten up!”

“Why? This is a mission we have to fulfill.”

“I know that! But would it kill you to smile?!” You pouted and placed your hands on her pale cheeks, dipping your fingers into the corner of the lips and brought them upward. “See?! Better already!”

She placed a hand on your mouth, bringing a finger to her lips, indicating you to be silent.

Voices from underneath the trees could be heard.

“They’re here. Right under us. I’ll give you a sign. You’ll know what it is. Are you ready, Y/N?”

Your arms fell back by your sides as you nodded. You closed your eyes for a few seconds before opening them, the look of a killer was now staring at Annie.

“I am. Let’s make them pay.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Squad Levi kept their pace as they ventured into the forest, each of them confused as to why they changed course.

Midoriya looked over at Eren before looking at Todoroki. Todoroki seemed to be calm, but Eren was a different story. “Captain, why are we here? Why did we change course? Where is Y/N? She’s been gone for a long time!!”

Levi didn’t respond back, keeping his thoughts to himself.

The squad seemed to notice your disappearance. They already accepted the fact that you could have gotten eaten. But part of themselves didn’t want to believe it

Just where in the hell were you?

“Why are we here? It doesn't make sense,” Oluo mumbled to himself, sweat pouring from his head from nerves.

“Is everyone else clueless just as we are Midoriya?” Todoroki asked, sending a glance to the green haired boy.

“It just doesn’t make sense to me. What are we running from? Titans that we can take down without a doubt?”

“Hey you two! Keep your head ahead of this! We can’t lose focus or you’ll slow us down!”

“But Captain!” Eren pleaded. “Why are we here?! Why are we left in the dark!”

“Just keep on moving Eren,” was Levi’s reply before going quiet, listening carefully. “Blades drawn, now.”

Each member did as told, their blades in their hands. Todoroki’s fingers on his right hand curled ever so slightly, an icy mist emitting from his fingertips. Midoriya’s body lit up, blue sparks cracking out from the effect of his quirk.

“It can happen in the blink of an eye.” Levi told his squad, preparing for the worst.

It all seemed still. Everyone on the tip of their toes. The heavy breathing from each soldier could be heard. Their hearts racing within their chest that it could burst. The scenery around them passed by quickly. It was like a screen on replay. Slowly, their thoughts were eating at them.

Where was it? Was it coming up from behind already? Was this their last moments? They didn’t even get to say goodbye to their families back at home.

Midoriya could feel his heart beat rapidly in his chest.This was bigger than anything he had faced before. When he fought Stain with Iida and Todoroki, he didn’t feel anything like this. They were able to figure out Stain’s quirk. They had no knowledge on this creature. When would this nightmare end?

His green eyes widened. ‘The others!’ he thought and gripped the reins of the horse tighter. Were they all still alive? They had to, right?

He shook his head violently. No, he couldn’t be thinking that way, especially like this.

He felt his stomach drop when a loud noise came from behind, the screams from reinforcements.

“Captain!! Your orders sir!!” Petra yelled, gripping the trigger of her blades tight that caused her fingers to slowly turn white.

“We keep moving! Faster!”

“But Captain! If we can’t defeat that thing then who can?! They need help! We can’t just let them die!” Eren yelled, looking over at his shoulder, watching as the female titan smashed her fist against the tree, the blood exploding. “Another one! Dammit they didn’t have to die!!”

“Eren eyes forward!!”

“Are you saying I should abandon my comrades?!”

“Dammit! Yes Eren!”

Eren stared down at his hand and brought it up slowly. “I don’t need anyone! I can defeat her by myself,” he whispered and opened his mouth.

“Eren no!” Midoriya yelled, looking over his shoulder before looking back at him. “We have to trust each other! We barely know each other but we have to work as a team no matter what!”

“Midoriya is right Eren!” Petra yelled, keeping her eyes on the brunette. “Have faith in us!”

Eren stared into the meat of his hand, eyeing it as he thought about his motives. He was with the best group of titan slayers in history. There was no need to be by himself. That’s how they survived so long. They had faith within each other.

“I’m with you!” Eren cried out as he put his hand back down, a smile rising onto Petra’s face.

The squad kept their momentum forward, the female titan gaining on them from behind.

“Fire!!”

They passed by artillery, the female titan halting her movements as hooks shot out from the device and pierced every part of her body, immobilizing her.

“See?! We outsmarted the damn thing! Don’t you ever underestimate us again green horn! Agreed?!”

“Agreed!”

“I’ll be back. Stay on top of the branches until it’s time to go back. Keep an eye on the horses as well,” Levi said, before shooting a hook into the tree, letting his body move with the gear.

“We did it!” Midoriya yelled, punching the air with his fist.

“You got some fight in you kid.” Eld said, bringing a hand down harshly onto his shoulder, causing the green haired boy to wince. “Glad to see both of you could keep up along with Eren of course. I don’t know what exactly they were planning but it worked out perfectly fine. And you.” He pointed a finger at the bi-colored boy. “You don’t seem to talk much like these guys. I like you.”

“Thank you,” was all Todoroki said as he nodded in approval.

What seemed like hours was actually minutes. You awaited at the top of the branches, playing with the hem of your cape. You heard the noises go off from within the forest. You were starting to get tired of the waiting. What kind of organized plan was this. If Annie wanted to do things her way, she should have simply told you she was going to do all of it instead of wasting your precious time.

You let your head move to the side, resting your ear on top of your shoulder as you awaited for the longing signal. You sighed softly and closed your eyes.

A few seconds you snapped your eyes open again, a light blush coating your cheeks. “Midoriya?’ You whispered and slapped your cheeks a couple of times, the stinging lingering on the tender spot.

The scream of a dying animal resonated throughout the forest, the birds terrified as they flew away from the mess. You froze at the noise, making sure you heard clearly. Your eyelids lowered in a narrow stare, your hand coming up and pulled your hoodie over your face. Your hands wandered down until two blades rested in your hands.

“My turn.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It wasn’t a success. The female titan managed to get away. Commander Erwin demanded the Scouts that they would retreat. The Levi Squad retreated on ODMG while Todoroki and Midoriya used their quirks to aid in the trip back.

A green flare was shot in the air.

“Huh?” Gunther looked up. “Captain Levi.” He reached into his pocket and took the gun out, shooting a green smoke signal into the air.

You stared at the signal and let the small gun fall from your fingertips.You let your body fall off the branch as you made your way towards the smoke signal, making sure your hood didn’t fall.

You stayed off on the sidelines, the trees passing by you quickly. You overheard the yells of Petra and Oluo along with the sounds of the hooks.

Gunther looked over at your body, his eyes glossing over with curiosity. “Captain Levi?”

At the name your body shifted slightly. His eyes widening in realization. “Shit!”

Your body sped towards him, your blades coming into contact with his throat, the wire of his hook cutting off in the process. His body went backward, his head colliding with the bark of the tree as it cracked, breaking his neck.

“Gunther!!” Eren yelled, slowing down, a gasp leaving his lips. Gunther’s mouth was oozing blood, his eyes open but dull.

“Keep on moving!” Midoriya nudged him with his arm as he jumped off of the trees, his quirk allowing him too as Todoroki passed by, his ice aiding him.

“Who was that?!”

“Is it the female titan?! Does she have an accomplice?!”

“I don’t know but we’re about to find out!”

A lightning bolt struck the trees, sending a vibration that reminded Midoriya of the bolts Kaminari was able to produce. The rumbling sounds of feet got louder and louder. The body of a titan emerged from the trees, its hair flowing behind.

“T-That’s not the same one!!”

“There two?!”

“Whatever! Leave it to us!! You three get out of here!”

“But I can help!”

“Eren no! Go!” Eld yelled, his body changing its course with Petra and Oluo following suit.

“Good luck!” Midoriya yelled, keeping his eyes forward. The image of Gunther’s dead body lingered in his mind. Something as brutal as that was something he didn’t want to see. He wanted to be in his dorm, looking at all his All Might figurines.

The female titan kept her eyes trained on the three. Her eyes narrowed into slits, a look of a feral animal. Just like Annie’s titan, this resembled a female, the only difference was the longer hair, the color the same as the person controlling it.

“Whatever we do, we bring the bitch to her knees and make her pay for what she has done!” Oluo yelled, pointing to his underarms, an indicator on where to strike.

The trio worked in unison, the same goal in mind.

The female titan avoided the hook that tried coming into contact with her face, swiping her arm upward. Petra took this as a chance, slashing her blades into her underarms. Eld spun and threw his blade, hitting the titan in her eyes as she let out a pained scream.

“Those aren’t even close to those you killed!” Oluo yelled, slicing her achilles heel that sent the titan to fall.

The titan’s arms were cut up, limp by her sides as her nape was wide open to be cut, her eyes shut and bleeding out.

“There it is! Go for the nape and pull her out!” Eld’s hook drove into the muscle of her nape, the gas of his device sending him forward. The second he got closer the female titan moved her head towards him and opened her mouth, shutting her teeth around his midsection then spit him out, his body falling into two pieces. The titan looked at Petra, both of her eyes opening.

Petra screamed in terror, unable to control herself as her body was lowering and lowering towards the ground. “How was she able to regenerate so fast?! That’s impossible!”

The titan staggered to get up, leaning against the tree before running forward, her arms flailing behind her, still limp.

“She couldn’t have done that! And for it to be both eyes?!”

“Petra, pull yourself together!!”

A final scream left the strawberry blond’s lips as a foot collided with her body, sending her straight into the ground.

“Petra!!” Midoriya yelled, his feet digging into the bark of the tree as he jumped back, running back to help.

“Midoriya wait!” Todoroki called for his friend.

“How can I be a hero if I can’t help those in need?! I can’t call myself one if there are people who need me!” Midoriya replied back, Eren right by his side. Todoroki followed them quickly.

“W-Where’s Oluo?!”

The female titan slowly lifted her head, a wicked grin tugging at the corner of her lips. Oluo’s body was sticking out of her mouth, his head inside. She spit his headless body onto the ground, spitting his head somewhere, the blood evident on her lips.

“I’ll kill you!!” Eren yelled, his teeth clamping down onto his thumb. His roar was heard throughout the forest, his feet hiding the ground that made Midoriya and Todoroki jump.

Midoriya looked up at the 15 meter female titan, noticing a small resemblance but couldn’t pinpoint it.

With Todoroki and Midoriya both by his side, they could take down the titan, with or without Captain Levi.

Eren roared and ran towards her, sending a punch forward that she avoided with ease. Todoroki ran towards her quickly, shooting ice out of his hand near her feet. As if she expected it, she jumped back quickly, steam emitting from her arms as they healed back up.

“She knows!” Midoriya yelled, the movement of his shoot style colliding with her ankle that made her stumble. “She knows what we can do!!”

“So what did you suggest we do Midoriya?!”

“We have to predict her movements!” he yelled, avoiding the foot that almost sent him flying.

Eren sent another punch, her hand grabbing his hand with ease. She dug her nails into his arm, a scream leaving Eren’s lips as she threw him to the ground. Eren’s body tumbled as he got up quickly, a three finger hole pierced in his arm.

With the help of Midoriya, he carried Todoroki on his back as he jumped off a tree, Todoroki shot a beam of ice from her waist down, immobilizing her.

The titan’s eyes widened as she struggled, Eren’s fist colliding with the center of her face that caused her head to slam back into the tree.

“Eren!”

Midoriya looked at the voice and felt a sense of relief. Two of the strongest soldiers in the Survey Corps, Levi and Mikasa Ackerman were now at their aid.

Seeing they were distracted, the female titan kicked her leg forward, shattered pieces of ice falling around them, their sharp edges piercing the ground.

Levi watched the titan’s movement, his squinted eyes zoning on her face.

Eren took a fighter's position, bringing his hands to protect himself. She followed suit, her back leg further than the one in front, awaiting Eren’s move.

‘He’s going to attack full on. His right arm will be the first move,’ she thought. Sure enough Eren did just that, being able to avoid his attack. She lifted her leg and kicked him in his stomach, sending him back with utter force.

Mikasa quickly passed by from behind, slicing the back of her knees, a weak spot on a Titan. The female titan fell to one knee, a hand on the ground to stable herself. Midoriya jumped from a tree, using the strength from his quirk and kicked the back of her head, her head falling forward as her nape was wide open.

In a blink of an eye, Levi cut the nape open with his blades, a blast of smoke searing out. He jumped back, his hook dangling himself from a tree as he protected his face with his arms from the powerful force.

The muscle on the nape of the Titan was open, a body stuck to it like glue. The insides clung to the person’s face, making visible Titan shifter marks, tears streaming down their face.

Eren stopped breathing. His eyes could only focus on the person who was controlling the titan. Already out of his Titan form, his turquoise eyes filled up with glossy tears. There they were, the person who killed his comrades, who killed most of the survey corps with no problem at all.

“Y/N..?” he whispered softly, his shoulders shaking violently as he sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his head. “I-It’s fake! It has to be!”

Midoriya watched quietly, silent tears of agony flowing without a care in the world. These past three days that he was stuck in this world with his friends, made him think twice about the kind of life he had. Here, everyone was taught you either had to fight to survive, or let yourself get killed.

This was the person that he felt he could connect with, someone that showed joy no matter what the cause was. Midoriya didn’t know what to feel. Should he feel pain? Should he be upset? Confused? So many emotions filled his whole being.

“Knock her out, she’s waking up!”

Mikasa growled and raised her blade up, hitting you in the back of the head with her grip, your head falling forward.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Your eyes fluttered up, the bright light of the room hitting your tired eyes. You blinked a couple of times, adjusting to your surroundings. You tried to lift a hand up but to no avail it wouldn’t budge. You looked down, noticing both of your hands were chained up with no possible way for you to unlock them.

“How could you.”

“Huh?” You looked up tiredly, a male with brown hair standing in front of you, his hand gripping the bars that separated the both of you.

“I said how could you?!” Eren yelled, banging a hand on the bar. “You killed innocent people Y/N! Or is that even your name?! Was this a whole game to you?!”

As you opened your mouth, he violently shook his head. “I can’t believe you! After all these years, all the blood sweat and tears are down the drain?! After all those times of me being called a monster, it wasn’t me! The only fucking monster I know is you!!”

You listened to his every word, each word spoke with venom that poisoned your heart more and more. He had every right to say how he felt, and how he felt is the way you knew how we would react.

“What do you want me to say? I'm sorry?”

“Do you even remember their faces..”

“I remember all of them. Their screams as I got closer. The constant begging for me to let them go. Wanna know something?” you whispered, leaning forward to the best of your ability. “I loved it. I loved seeing their faces at my mercy.”

Eren stared you, horrified by the sudden laughing coming from your mouth. “I thought I knew you..”

“Well now you do!”

“Eren, Captain Levi said it’s time to go.” Midoriya walked in, placing a hand on the brunette’s shoulder. “Let me have a minute.”

“But-“

“Please Eren.” Midoriya placed a hand on his back, pushing him out much to his disliking.

“Hi, Izuku.”

“Midoriya.”

“Aww,” you pouted before grinning. “Lost those privileges huh?”

“You lost them a long time ago. I just need to know something.”

“Well,” you dragged the last syllable, batting your eyelashes at him. “What is it?”

“Why would you do it? They were your comrades, weren’t they?”

“Comrades huh? Is that what you think?”

He nodded.

You eyed his movement before smiling. As you opened your mouth to start talking, no words came out.

Midoriya blinked a couple times and rubbed his ear gently. “What?”

A small ringing noise left your mouth as you continued to talk. The ringing got louder and louder until it was screeching, causing him to cover his ears.

“Wake up!!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Midoriya gasped for air, clutching the front of his soaked sleep shirt. He looked around frantically as his eyes stopped on his phone. He launched forward and grabbed it, yanking it from the wire of the charger, turning the phone on.

October 3, 7:40 AM.

A groan of relief let his lips, placing the phone on his chest. Not a second past as he opened his phone again, eyeing the time.

“I’m going to be late!!”

Saved by the bell, Midoriya sat in his respected spot, panting hard as a light sweat forming under his hair.

“Woah dude you look bad, what happened to you?” Kaminari asked, looking him up and down. There were eyebags forming, his hair a mess as his uniform was not put on right.

“I had...the weirdest dream! And I woke up late as well and I had to rush it here!” Midoriya said through his pants, shaking the school jacket off of him as he rolled his sleeves to his elbows.

“Least you’re here man! Apparently we-“

“Kaminari stop talking!” Aizawa sighed and ran a hand through his black hair. “Today we have a new transfer student. Don’t make it weird.” He eyed Mineta for a good five seconds. “Make her feel welcomed. Come in.” He waved towards the door, walking over to his sleeping bag. “Introduce yourself or whatever. Your name, quirk or anything you want. Just don’t be loud.” He got into his sleeping bag and zipped it up, curling into the corner of the room.

There was an awkward silence as they watched their teacher.

A girl walked into the room, a hum leaving her lips. She had a small skip to her step. Midoriya looked up, a choked gasp leaving his mouth, his scarred hands covering his mouth once the noise left. There she was, not covered in blood or shackles. No white pants and a short brown jacket. But their school uniform instead.

Her hands behind her back and a big smile on her face, she said, “Hi! My name is Y/LN Y/N! I recently moved here from Tokyo! My quirk allows me to transform into a 15 meter tall person! Except I don’t resemble myself but just the body of a female! They call my quirk, Titan!”

“Show us!!” Kaminari yelled, a blush coating his cheeks as he stood up from his seat. He obviously already had a liking towards you.

You stifled a giggle, placing a hand on your mouth. “I can’t do that! I’ll break the entire school if I do it now!”

Bakugou leaned forward, intrigued by your quirk. “I can still take you down easily!”

“Oh, you’re Bakugou right?” You smiled, hands now by your side. “I can’t wait to beat you!”

“What did you say tall bitch?!”

You rolled your eyes as you looked over the class, their mouths opening with questions they wanted to ask you. Your eyes stopped on a green haired boy who looked like he was facing death himself. Turns out there was an empty seat next to him.

You walked over and slid into the chair, sticking a hand out for him. “As you know I’m Y/N Y/LN. What’s your name?”

“I-Izuku Midoriya!” he squeaked, sticking a hand out for you as he shook your hand, looking you up and down. “H-How?!”

“How what?”

“How are you here?! Captain Levi caught you and you were stuck underground doing experiments!”

“Captain Levi?” you questioned, rubbing your temple in circles. “Who is that?”

Before he could ramble on he stopped. This wasn’t you. This was someone new. Not the murderous killer, but the face of a sweet girl.

“I’m sorry you just remind me of someone who was in my dream last night.” He sighed in relief and cracked his knuckles. “Kind of gave me a spook there.”

“Oh did I? Well I apologize for that!” You laughed, playing with the tip of your pencil. “Say, what’s your quirk? I would love to get to know you too! Since ya know, we are row buddies after all!”

“My quirk? Just a strength one.” He shrugged, more interested in hearing about you. “But yours fascinates me! Able to turn into a 15 meter Titan? That’s amazing! I would love to see it in person!”

“Really? You mean that?”

He nodded excitedly. “Yes! Later today we have hero training! You can show us all then!”

Your eyes lit up. “I c-can’t wait then! I always wanted to see how small people would look when I gained control of it!”

He grinned, sending you a thumbs up. “Well I bet it’s amazing.”

“Eren thought it was amazing as well!”

His heart stopped. Eren? As in Eren Jaeger?

“E-Eren?”

“Yeah!” You pouted, letting your head rest in the palm of your hand. “He was my friend in my old school! He kinda had the same quirk as I did! I miss being able to make fun of the way his looks.”

Midoriya felt his heart beating again. Still shaken up from his dream, he knew the Y/N Y/LN stuck underground, was not the same Y/N Y/LN that was currently sitting next to him. Even after a collision of worlds, he knew he could trust you.

185 notes · View notes

capnjay21 · 4 years

Text

Brink 6/?

But this woman was neither mermaid nor Brave, radiant but fierce — and the cool touch of steel to his skin reminded him of the sword she had pointed at his throat.

“My name is Emma Swan,” she said, in answer to the question he had yet to give voice to, “and I’m here for my son.”

Season 2 Canon Divergence; Hook never escaped Neverland, and once the curse breaks Pan comes to collect the loneliest lost boy of them all - the one in possession of the Heart of the Truest Believer.

one | two | three | four | five | ao3

A/N: and here is chapter six! this one goes out to @carpedzem because she is amazing and sweet and lovely and has been INCREDIBLY patient in me getting this out :D a fair warning to all - Hook gets a little dark in this chapter, but bear with him. as we all know, he’s turning it around! Rating: T

my teeny tiny lovely taglist: @carpedzem @superchocovian @optomisticgirl @phiralovesloki

If anyone else wants to be tagged with updates for this fic (which could be helpful, given how sporadically I drop them I’M SO SORRY) then just let me know!

***

It was a simple enough plan; the difficulty had been in laying it in near total silence, so as not to alert the boys sitting at camp of any unusual rustling nearby. One of the nets Starkey often used for hunting was easily, conveniently, wide enough to cover the form of a boy – and given the look he and Hook had shared one he’d given the thought a voice, Emma chose not to think too closely about what its previous uses might have included. The idea was to tie it aloft in the dark canopy, then lure one of the boys away from the camp and trap him underneath it. All, ideally, without him alerting the others to his predicament.

Her heart hammered against her ribcage at a steady pace, a symptom of the near constant state of anxiety she had been in since Henry had walked out of her arms and disappeared back into the trees, but adrenaline coursed through her with a nervous energy. The bravado of her intent aside, it didn’t change the fact that she was gearing up to kidnap a child.

Even after everything Hook had told her about the Lost Boys, and after meeting Pan himself, it was difficult to see them as anything except that – boys. If monsters were all they were, surely Henry would not have believed he could make a home with them. She trusted his judgement above all else. It didn’t sit well in her gut, but there wasn’t much she could do about it now.

The trap was just about set. At the side of the clearing stood Hook (no, Killian – damn, it was hard to try and disassociate) readying himself to creep as close to the camp as he dared, before figuring out a way to split one of them away from the pack. Emma was just searching for her own hiding place, when their plans were entirely derailed.

Out of the undergrowth stumbled a boy, a head or so larger than Henry, staring at his shoes as he went, clearly not paying any attention to where he was going. Starkey and Noodler immediately darted into the brush, and Hook gesticulated wildly for Emma to do the same, but she reacted a second too slowly.

The boy looked up, clapping eyes on her instantly. He froze where he stood, his eyes growing wide as saucers, lips parting in confusion. He was thin and lanky, in the way that boys in the early teens often were, and an angry, scarlet scar had been drawn across his right cheek – and it looked like it was still fresh. As he stared, Emma stared right back, frantically wracking her brains for a way out. She couldn’t spare a glance at Hook or his men without giving away their position, but one cry from this boy would draw the entire hoard towards them. Emma made to grab for her sword, but something stopped her.

He didn’t seem – well, he certainly didn’t look threatening. If anything he appeared fascinated by her, blinking as if he were sure in a split second she might vanish from sight. He took a halting step toward her—

There was a heavy thunk, and he collapsed down into the dirt. Hook stood over his motionless form, brandishing the hilt of his cutlass aloft.

Once Emma recovered from the shock, she gaped. “What the hell are you playing at?” She felt an urgent sort of indignance at the bump she was sure would begin to form on the back of the boy’s head.

Hook (shoot, Killian) merely arched an eyebrow.

“Did you want the boy or not?”

Starkey quickly set about dismantling the trap while Noodler hauled the boy over his shoulder, and their troupe scarpered before their good fortune had the chance to change its mind.

Hook led them a few miles east at a punishing pace, wanting to put as much distance between them and the Lost Boys’ camp as possible. It wouldn’t do them any good to begin questioning the boy somewhere near enough to the rest of his number to allow them a rescue of some kind – although Hook assured her that without Pan’s direction, they almost certainly couldn’t coordinate well enough to pull off such an attempt. Given Pan’s penchant for omnipotence, Emma didn’t find that exactly reassuring.

Pan was connected to every living thing on the island, or so Hook had told her, and it wasn’t hard to believe. She had felt… something, from the moment she got here. It yearned for his touch, breathed for his blessing; they were the trespassers here. Even the trees themselves appeared bent towards each other, the rustle of leaves now the harshest of whispers eager to give them away.

Shit, she had been on this island way too long. She was starting to sound like H—Killian.

Killian. Killian Jones.

She just couldn’t see it.

They settled in a small clearing, tying the still unconscious boy tightly to a tree so his head lolled down onto his chest. There was little else to do except wait for him to come to, but even those few moments of stillness began to make Emma restless. It was the first move on the offensive she had made since she arrived on the island – but it was about time she stopped reacting and started acting.

At their captain’s instruction, Starkey and Noodler disappeared into the undergrowth, panning out in different directions, just to make sure they hadn’t either been followed or accidentally stopped a little too close to something far worse.

“So,” Hook mused, shirking off his duster and folding it carefully atop a rock. At this time of day the heat was at its most oppressive, and Emma could spot the sweat glistening from his brow. She herself was doing her best to stop her hair from sticking to the back of her neck. “Now you have a Lost Boy. What exactly are you planning to do next?”

Truthfully, Emma hadn’t exactly thought this far ahead. She had a vague idea of what she wanted from this, but the means hadn’t come to her as quickly as she’d hoped they would. To be perfectly honest, she was surprised to not have met with any resistance from Hook before now.

She let out a long breath, and decided to be honest. They’d agreed to trust each other, hadn’t they?

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Get him to talk? Take us to Henry, maybe?”

Hook – Killian – did not look convinced. “Sooner the sun would rise in the west, I expect.”

“I can be persuasive.”

He gave her an appraising look, one that lasted a beat too long and, if she wasn’t mistaken, lingered rather indelicately on some of her assets she knew men found particularly persuasive. She only realised the incidental dual meaning in her statement a few seconds too late.

To her surprise, he didn’t take the bait.

To her greater surprise, that almost irked her a little.

“I’m sure you can,” he continued brusquely, turning to glare at their captive against the tree. “But these aren’t ordinary boys.”

Emma followed his gaze. For a split second, she thought of the boy’s wide eyes as he took her in for the first time. He’d seemed almost – curious.

“He doesn’t have to be our enemy,” Emma pointed out. “Pan’s a monster, right? And he’s still a kid. Maybe he’s been waiting for an opportunity like this.”

Hook eyed her closely, tilting his head to one side.

“You hesitated.”

Emma blinked. “What?”

“Before, when the boy came across us. You went for your sword but you hesitated.” He peered at her carefully. “Why?”

Her lips parted – had she? She didn’t really remember, it had all happened so fast. He’d tumbled out of the brush almost right in front of her, freezing in place once he saw her. All she could really recall was thinking how – just how –

How young he looked.

How nothing like she’d imagined a Lost Boy would look up close, after everything Hook and his crew had told her. He was just a kid.

And she’d been a kid like that, once.

She was spared from fumbling through a response first by a loud sniff, and then a groan from the opposite side of the clearing. Both she and Hook immediately turned to look at their captive, the boy beginning to stir against his bindings.

“He’s coming to.”

“Alright, just leave this to me,” Emma said, injecting far more confidence into her tone that she felt. Gripping the hilt of David’s longsword, but keeping it in its sheath, she started in the direction of the boy.

“I’d never have pegged you for such an optimist,” Hook muttered, but kept his distance all the same. Emma chose to ignore him. Seeing as the pirates and the Lost Boys were apparently brutal enemies, it was probably for the best that he stayed out of the way.

The boy lifted his head, blinking blearily against the light and made to move his shoulders, before realising with alarm that they were trapped at his side by the rope. He immediately began to struggle, attempting to rip himself free but the knots held fast – then his gaze shot up to his surroundings. His wide eyes flickered first to Hook, then Emma, and his expression crumpled in fear.

“H—help!” he hollered, perhaps hoping to draw the attention of any nearby allies, “Help me, help! Peter!”

“Hey, chill out!” Emma hissed.

“Help, anyone – they’ve got me, I’m here!”

Trying to think of something to shut him up, Emma reached for the buckle of her scabbard and scrambled to take it off. Once she held the sword in her hand, certain she had his attention, she dropped it onto the ground and lifted her arms in an open gesture. Perhaps if he didn’t think of her as a threat, she could at least get him to stop crying out. The last thing they wanted was to draw any additional unwanted attention.

“Look – I’m not armed. Just calm down, alright?”

It had something of the desired effect, and he momentarily stopped struggling to survey her warily.

“I’m sorry about that bump on your head too, that’s gotta kill. What’s your name?” The boy’s lips tightened, as if he were reluctant to talk to her. “I’m Emma.”

“Are you a pirate?”

The boy’s gaze flickered down to the sword lying on the ground, so Emma nudged it a little farther away with her boot.

“No, I’m not a pirate. I’m just looking for my son.”

“Your – your son?” The boy’s mouth dropped open, agape. “You’re a mother?”

Given everybody had one, Emma was beginning to find this fascination that mothers could exist from the inhabitants of Neverland pretty damn irritating.

“Yeah, I am. I’m Henry’s mom. Henry?” Recognition flashed in the boys eyes, but he quickly tried to suppress it, schooling his features into something a little more neutral. Emma didn’t buy it for a second. “You know him, right? Can’t be that many new kids on the island.”

The boy kept his lips pressed together in a thin line.

“You’ve got a terrible poker face, kid,” Emma pointed out, “so you might as well just tell me. Where is Pan keeping him?”

“Pan doesn’t keep any of us,” the boy spat. “We want to stay. We want to be here.” With a force Emma would not have attributed to him, he suddenly lunged as far forward as he could, the rope tightening and groaning in protest. “And when I get out of this I’ll make sure you know why.”

“Look, I’m not your enemy.”

“Oh no?” The boy’s eyes were wide, his lips trembling as his pupils darted back and forth between her and Hook. “Then what’s he doing here?”

Clearly referring to Hook, Emma spared him a glance. His mouth was set in a grim line and he stood a little straighter, shoulders squared. For a moment she considered sending him away, if only for a few minutes so she could get this boy onside – the bad blood between the pirates on the Lost Boys was clearly very, very mutual. After a beat she dismissed the idea. She had nothing to be ashamed of, especially not working with Hook. He was putting himself more at risk with every moment he spent helping her. He’d given her weapons, food, allies; and she wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to see what she had promised him in return, let alone use it.

She was the dishonest one here, not Hook.

“Hook is my –” She stumbled on the word. Would ally alienate this boy completely? In her moment of hesitation, Hook’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “He’s helping me. And so will you, if you know what’s good for you.”

The boy threw back his head and howled – fully, howled – with laughter.

“And why the hell would I do that?” he wheezed out between breaths, but his jovial demeanour was not enough to make her forget just how much the boy was straining against his bonds. His wrists were turning white with the effort. Emma had always heard talk about the strength of a sailor’s knot, and she hoped it would hold up here against the brat stood before her.

“You want to be on the right side of this when it all goes down,” she said, far sharper than she had been intending to be with him.

The whole point of this, her entire angle was that he was just a kid – and she couldn’t believe that a kid was capable of all the wrongdoing Hook had laid at their feet without a shred of remorse, without even the smallest desire for things to be different. She would know. She was a kid like that, once. And her lonely heart had yearned for a better life, even as she convinced herself it would never be possible.

But then Henry had found her. And now she was determined to grab that life by two hands, and fight to get it back.

“And, look – I know you must have had a family once, and maybe one day you stopped believing you could get back to them. But I’m here, I’m here for Henry but I can help you too. All of you. I can help you get home – if you help me get my son back.”

Even before she’d finished speaking the boy was shaking his head, lips curled in disbelief. Emma tried not to let her heart sink at the vehemence with which he immediately rejected the idea out of hand.

“Don’t you get it?” he spat. “I’m here because I don’t want to go home. None of us do.”

Emma let out a noise of frustration. “But Pan’s a sadist – just look at what he did to you.” She gestured vaguely at the scarlet scratch underneath his right eye.

The boy’s expression lit up with a savage delight, and Emma had to force herself not to take a wary step back.

“Oh, Pan didn’t do this. Henry did.”

***

“Oh, Pan didn’t do this. Henry did.”

Emma didn’t move a muscle. Even from where he stood a few paces away, Hook could practically see the cogs whirring behind the jade of her eyes – weighing up the odds of truth against a lie, that her boy had been the one to scar the Lost One in front of them.

Hook would put his wager on truth. Pan didn’t lure them onto the island to stay nice little boys, and he’d yet to meet one that wouldn’t immediately stab one of his comrades if he thought it might elevate himself in the eyes of their leader. That was why only the nastiest, the most vicious, took their places close to Pan. Felix, Rufio – they had bloodied their hands more times than he could count with not just his men, but those within their own ranks as well. And there was no doubt about it; this Henry was a special favourite to Pan, no matter how little time he had spent in Neverland.

But then, he didn’t know the lad. Emma seemed perpetually convinced of his innocence, of his goodness. Perhaps he couldn’t be so easily persuaded. After all, there had once been another boy who had resisted Pan’s influence.

Well, most children think they’ve found paradise when they lay their eyes on Neverland’s magic. Why else leave home in the first place?

I came so a family I loved could live.

The memory rose, unbidden, from the crust of his weary heart. For the first time, he realised the startling parallels between when he had first met Baelfire, and Emma and Henry’s brief but devastating reunion those days ago.

I have to give you your best chance.

Perhaps there was a chance her lad was made of sturdier stuff – the courage that had carried Baelfire, too.

“You’re lying.”

Emma’s rebuttal cut sharply across his musings. She still hadn’t moved an inch, but he spotted the hand clenched into a fist at her side, the stiffness of her jaw. It wasn’t exactly news to him that she couldn’t always maintain a tight lid on her temper, and Hook was wary of the results it might wrought.

“I don’t need to!” the boy laughed maniacally, clearly delighting in the effect his words were having on her. “He’s a Lost Boy now, he’s one of us! Henry is one of the most vicious recruits we’ve had in ages!”

He spotted Emma flinch, with every word so carelessly flung at her causing more damage than the last, and a swell of anger began to rise in Hook’s chest. The brat probably was lying, just because Emma was giving him everything he wanted. She was playing right into his hands, was allowing herself to get smaller and smaller as the boy’s arrogance and amusement grew, and he couldn’t believe – frankly, he was irritated – that she was giving up on her lad so fast. That she was so quick to believe the drivel this boy was spewing.

In the wake of the inerrable faith he had endured from her for days, he wanted to shake her by the shoulders and tell her no, her Henry was better than that, he had to be. It was ridiculous to believe anything to the contrary.

It couldn’t all be for nothing. It just couldn’t. Not after she’d come so far.

And then the boy spat in her face.

The movement was sudden, unexpected, like a snake suddenly recoiling and striking harshly, and Emma stumbled back in surprise.

It only took a second for her to recover.

Letting out a strangled cry, she flung herself at the boy who, for all his straining against his bonds a moment earlier, was now shrinking back into the tree trunk attempting to get away from her. Hook was at her side in a flash, his right arm around her waist hauling her back from doing any real damage.

Emma struggled against him, sharp nails and fury, but Hook held fast.

“Stop! Swan, stop.”

“What are you doing?” she spat, but he was asking himself the same question.

Why did it matter to him if Emma hurt the boy? He cared not a whit for him. It was her stupid idea in the first place to take one as a hostage when he’d much rather gut them for all the injury they had caused him and his crew. He’d been acting purely on instinct when he lunged for her, but for some reason – for all he’d like to see that boy with his eyes gauged out, the idea of Emma Swan doing the gauging was just – it was just –

You went for your sword but you hesitated. Why?

Hook already knew the answer to that.

And, he realised, he couldn’t bear to see her forget it. Not like he had.

“Let me talk to him,” Hook said harshly, after feeling her slow against him. He loosened his arm. “Let me do it.”

Please, let me. Let me do it. I couldn’t bear it if you did it.

Emma stopped struggling, breathing heavily as her eyes met his head on. “Do… what?”

He could tell from her hollow tone. She already knew.

He was a survivor. This was how he had survived.

He could feel Emma’s eyes on him, but he pushed her from his mind. She was nothing to him, and no one. He thrust it all into quiet, all thoughts of her, of Henry, of Bae.

Calmly, but with the familiar ache of old bones, he touched every angry part of him, every dark night or hallowed breath, every ugly thought or thoughtless act; he let it all flood his senses until there was nothing else left. When the alternative was to feel helpless, he chose this, he always had, and he probably always would. He would rather be darkness, he would rather be the fury that roiled within him, the Neverbird’s mournful wail and the storm at the centre of the harsh sun above. He was Milah’s dying gasp and Rumplestiltskin’s hoarse cackle. Pan’s sinister fury. Silver’s blithely tossed coin and Brennan’s promise of courage before the last light went out.

He was all of it and he was nothing pure.

This boy was not a boy. He was a Lost One. And he had just spat in Emma’s face.

“What’s your name, boy?”

His approach was slow, delicate. His boots crunched on dead leaves underfoot. All the bravado the boy had boasted evaporated in the space of a few seconds, and he tried to make himself as small as possible. The trunk at his back prevented him from shrinking any further, and his gaze dropped fearfully to the hook that swung dangerously at his side.

“N – Nibs.”

Stupid fucking name for a boy.

“Nibs?” The boy nodded quickly, huffing out a panicked breath. “Now tell me, Nibs, do you remember Rufio?”

Rufio had been the cruellest. Rufio had split his crew apart in a raid in the dead of night, had sent an arrow through Jukes’ throat, had carved his name into Bones’ shoulder with his teeth. After Noodler had grabbed him from behind, Rufio had sheared off his hands and laughed while he did so, a terrible and piercing thing. Hook hadn’t heard worse from men twice his age.

“Do you remember what I did to Rufio? No?” The boy didn’t move, only kept his eyes fixed squarely on Hook as he reached him, trying almost desperately not to breathe. “Well, let me take the opportunity to remind you. You see this hook?” To illustrate the point, Hook lifted it to Nibs’ cheek, letting the round curve of the tip brush against the boy’s cheek, who flinched as its cool touch made contact. “I shook his hand with it.”

He brought it down the side of his face, letting the sharp point linger on his neck.

“And then I plunged it into his gut and ripped him open until his eyes wept tears of crimson.”

Rufio had screamed, and Pan had ended the game there – had called the first truce. Had grudgingly accepted the losses on both sides to be fair, but not before he had hauled Noodler, weeping from his place on the ground, and reattached his hands while the man screeched in agony. It was a warning, for them both. Pan had never let his boredom run away from him again, nor had he tried to provoke Hook in such a way since.

Nibs’ breathing had turned heavy, and scared.

“The lady would like to know where her son is. I intend for her to discover it. Now,” Hook reached his hand into the boy’s hair and squeezed tightly. Nibs gasped loudly. “Think carefully before you answer; how helpful would you like to be?”

Nibs kept his eyes shut as he gaped through an answer.

“I – I can’t.”

Hook pulled a little tighter. “That is not a helpful answer.”

“I don’t know!”

“Hook.” Emma’s voice drifted distantly from behind him, but he ignored her.

“I don’t believe you,” he hissed.

The boy babbled quietly between whimpers. “It doesn’t… it doesn’t…”

“Speak clearly.”

“It d-doesn’t matter,” Nibs whimpered, “it doesn’t matter w-what you promise, or what you c-could do to me…” His eyes finally opened, and Hook could see them shining with unshed tears. “It’s n-nothing compared to – to what He w-would do to me, if – if I –”

“Hook, stop. Stop!”

He didn’t realise when she had approached, but both of Emma’s hands were suddenly on his right arm, one at his elbow and the other wrenching his hand free from the back of the boy’s head. In surprise, he let go – and then realised her face was coloured a deep scarlet, and she was trembling. Nibs sobbed with relief.

“He’s just a kid!” she cried, and the wave of Hook’s fury crested into indignation.

She had let him do this. Had wanted to do it herself, in fact, and would have if he hadn’t bloody stopped her. Only now was she remembering her saintly act, wanting to hurl some holier-than-thous about the true meaning of innocence when she didn’t know a damn thing about it. Emma Swan had been in Neverland for a matter of days. Hook had lived there for over two-hundred years. It had taken so much more from him than her, and he had never let himself be ashamed of the measures he took for survival.

But one glance from her was like shining a light on all its ugliness.

Hook quailed under that kind of exposure.

“Do you want your son back, or don’t you?”

“I –”

“This, Swan – this is the only language they understand!” he thundered, and he couldn’t work out why he was so angry with her. But he was. He was vibrating with fury.

For Noodler, for Bones, for Jukes, for Mullins and Kits and Carter and Clyde, for Skylights. For Baelfire.

For Liam.

“I am tired of watching you flail about aimlessly, making this up as you go along – either you buck up and realise what needs to be done or you can forget about saving your boy!”

Hook wrenched his arm free from her grip, and started walking.

He didn’t care which direction, he didn’t care how far. He hated the island, hated the trees and the mist and the dirt and the magic, even the sea – he hated all of it.

Bust most of all, he hated the way Emma Swan was looking at him.

***

The sun had long since dipped below the treeline by the time Emma acknowledged this might have all been for nothing. The early evening was rapidly approaching, and they were no closer to getting any answers out of Nibs at all. In fact, after Hook’s outburst, he had completely clammed up and refused to speak a word to her no matter how she tried to cajole him. She was starting to consider whether it might be worth just letting him go. They were losing light, and time, not to mention Hook was being no help whatsoever.

He had stormed out into the forest for a while, but he’d had enough of a head on his shoulders not to go far, and once he had returned he had focused his attention on reviewing their supplies and checking the perimeter. Once that was done, he had sat down against a large rock at the centre of the clearing, and had taken to tossing stones out into the brush.

It was almost childish, a behaviour which Emma found particularly difficult to marry up to what she had seen earlier.

I plunged it into his gut and ripped him open until his eyes wept tears of crimson.

Had he really done that? To a boy?

He’d warned her that he wasn’t a good man – often enough, in fact. And the way he spoke about the Lost Boys suggested blood had probably been spilled on both sides. It was a conflict she knew nothing about, that had been going on for longer than she’d been alive, probably. She’d told Hook that she wanted to start trusting him, and she believed him when he told her the Lost Boys were dangerous. The way that kid had talked about Henry – it made her fucking blood boil, and without Hook she was sure she would’ve ripped Nibs a new one and not felt a twinge of remorse. She’d even been prepared to let Hook wrest the information she wanted out of him by any means necessary.

But when Hook had his fist clenched in that boy’s hair, she just couldn’t stop imagining it was Henry instead.

These kids weren’t responsible for the way Pan had twisted them all up into knots, were they? And he had already started doing it to Henry.

Mom, I’m going to save magic.

She couldn’t let herself believe that the only way to get out of all this was to resort to torturing kids, not least because her son might never forgive her for it. He wanted her to be good. It had just taken one trembling boy that reminded her too much of Henry for her to remember that. Still, she was disappointed it had driven an even greater wedge between her and Hook.

He sat with his back to her, and flung another stone out into the undergrowth. With a thwack it hit its mark, whatever Hook had been intending to throw it at, and his hand rummaged around in the grass for another one.

Emma decided it was completely ridiculous that they were sat apart, stewing like two kids who had gotten into a fight at recess. He hadn’t just straight up and left her, no matter how tired he claimed to be of her, and that had to mean something. So it was about time they talked.

Leaving Nibs to be watched over by Starkey, Emma crossed the clearing until she stood beside him. From the way his shoulders tensed, she knew he could tell she was there.

“So,” she started, scuffing her boot in the dirt. “You kinda lost it a bit there.”

“I’m not going to apologise if that’s what you’re after.”

Emma resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Please, I’m not in eighth grade. I’m not going to fall apart because you raised your voice.”

Although, come to think of it, it was perhaps the first time she had heard him do so.

Hook finally turned, angling his body so he could look over his shoulder to where Nibs was standing, eyes downcast and motionless. “Is he talking?”

“Hasn’t said a word.” With a sigh, Emma dropped down onto the ground in front of him, so she could still see the boy in her line of sight. “Whatever Pan’s threatened him with, he must be terrified.”

Hook grunted in agreement, before turning his attention to his hook. Over and over, he ran the forefinger of his right hand across its curve, and it gleamed dangerously even this late in the day. Emma had never really thought much on it until now, but he must be able to cause a great deal of damage with it, and although she had witnessed quite a few practical uses for it over the last few days when it came to putting up camp or starting fires, its primary function still had to be as a weapon.

In the stories she’d heard as a child it was almost a comedic device – the character’s name was Captain Hook, so of course he had a hook for a hand. There was no point thinking anymore about it.

Except he had told her his name was Killian Jones.

“Why’d you pick a hook?”

The question was out of her mouth before she’d really had a chance to think about it. Killian’s eyes shot up to meet hers, looking perplexed so she hastened to continue.

“If there’s anything I’ve learnt so far, it’s that all these fairy tales… they started off as ordinary people.” Before anything else, Mary Margaret Blanchard had been a person to Emma, who breathed and cried and made mistakes, just like her. In the end, all Regina Mills had really wanted to be was Henry’s mother, no matter how grotesque the way she chose to go about it. “The Evil Queen, Captain Hook… you said your name was Killian Jones.”

Hook clicked his tongue. He looked as if regretted telling her already. “I haven’t been Killian Jones in a long time.”

“Well, you told me that was your actual name, so it’s more recent than you think,” she pointed out drily. Otherwise why would he have bothered mentioning it? “And I’m asking him. Of all the things, after you lost your hand – why a hook? And not a… I don’t know, a fake hand. Or a dagger.” He lived in a world with magic for God’s sake – maybe he could’ve grown it back?

He looked as if he wouldn’t answer her, and for a long time he was silent. His stare merely drilled a hole into the ground between them, and not for the first time Emma wondered what it really was he was thinking about. Then, after a long moment, his lips parted.

“The Dark One, he…” He gritted his teeth, like it was hard to get the words out. “It was the first thing I had to hand. A hook. I was desperate, I stuck it into his chest – right where his heart should be. And he laughed.” Hook scowled, his expression dark and furious. “I never wanted to forget that feeling. How helpless, how weak I was. I was so small next to him. I wanted to pierce his skin one more time with that hook, but for it to make him bleed – to show him I’d never be that weak again.” He raised his eyes skyward, letting out a long breath. “It’s a reminder – and my penance. The price of true strength.”

“Violence isn’t strength.”

Hook finally looked at her, arching an eyebrow. “Isn’t it?”

Perhaps if he’d asked her a year ago she might have agreed. Back then, strength felt like putting on her red leather jacket and punching back at the world. Emma couldn’t speak for the hook, but the way he talked about it made it sound like his own armour.

“Believe me, I used to think the way you do,” she began. A lifetime ago. Before Storybrooke. “I thought I was strong. Then Henry found me and I learnt – I learnt what real strength is. It’s perseverance, it’s belief. It’s seeing the best in people even when it’s hard. And I couldn’t just give up, revert back to my old habits, not after he’d given me this second chance, you know?”

She’d given up on Henry once, before she’d even held him; but he had never, never given up on her.

“He wanted better for me and he kept believing, kept telling me to open my eyes and take it no matter how many times I told him I didn’t want it anymore, that I didn’t need it.”

When you went through the wardrobe you appeared on the side of the street. Your parents were trying to save you from the curse!

Sure they were, kid.

To her surprise, she felt a familiar sting behind her nose and her face began to flush, so she tried to hurry through the rest of what she was stumbling out as quickly as possible. Thinking about Henry like this – it made him feel so close, even though she knew he was so far away.

She laughed bitterly. “He’s still doing it now. Hell, he actually wants to live in a place like this because it’s what he truly believes will make me happiest. That,” she finished emphatically, “is strength.”

Just in case the sudden tide of emotion gave her away, she resolutely did not look at Hook even though she could feel his stare on the side of her face, instead choosing to pick up a stick and stab lines into the dirt. Perhaps he was trying to discern if she was speaking any word of a lie, or perhaps he was about to laugh in her face. It didn’t matter, she didn’t care. She just didn’t want this strangeness between them anymore. Even if he was furious, even if he was scared – if he hated the Lost Boys it was fine, she wasn’t there to judge him. She didn’t want him to think she was ashamed to be near him.

He was just there to help her get Henry back. That was the most important thing of all.

Finally, he looked away.

“I can’t remember how that feels,” he admitted quietly. “To want to – for another person, I mean.”

And all of a sudden, something became startlingly clear to her. So much so, that she was almost annoyed she hadn’t realised it before.

“Gold took more than your hand from you, didn’t he?”

Hook met her gaze, and Emma was struck by just how wretched he looked. It was perhaps the most open she had ever seen his expression, his every thought was written into the downward curve of his mouth, his eyes wide and sorrowful. Of course. Of course Gold had taken something far more valuable. It should have been enough just knowing the kind of man Gold was to realise that.

Now, she decided. Right this second. Without the bravado, without the careless grin. None of the performance he put on from the start of the day. Now he looked more like a Killian Jones.

He stood abruptly, surprising her. Three paces away his duster sat on the rock where he had placed it when they arrived, and he began rummaging through the pockets. For a moment, Emma’s memory flashed back to the drawing she had found tucked carefully between two books in his cabin, and she was sure he was about to pull it out and show her exactly what Gold had taken from him.

Killian did pull out a piece of parchment, but it was one far more familiar than the one she had been thinking of. After he walked back over, this time he perched atop the rock he had been leaning against, and let the parchment fall to the ground between them. Dust and blades of grass blew outwards from where it landed, and Emma felt a spike of irritation rise at the sight of it.

It was Pan’s map.

“What are you doing with that?” She’d left it behind for a reason.

“This is how you’ll find your son,” Killian insisted, pointing firmly at the map. “Not that.” He didn’t need to tilt his head in the direction of Nibs tied to the tree, but his meaning was implicit. “Think about what you just told me. You’re already making progress.”

Emma scowled. “I told you, I don’t want to play Pan’s game.”

“Why not? Henry is.” At Emma’s shocked expression, he barrelled on. “I believe he did scar that boy’s cheek, and what’s more I believe he did it with a longsword.”

Henry is one of the most vicious new recruits we’ve had in ages!

“Stop it.”

“You said it yourself, he’s building a life here. And what is that, really? A scratch?” Killian shook his head. “It’s nothing at all. I’ve seen an alley cat deliver worse. He is doing the minimum of what’s required while he finds his feet here, spilling a little blood so he doesn’t have to spill more.” Either way, Emma did not like the direction of his thoughts, and if Killian sensed her pending denial then he became more emphatic to combat it. “You must realise it. Pan controls everything on this island – what he asks for, he has to receive. And until you acknowledge that you are beyond even my help.”

She didn’t want to. She avoided Killian’s gaze because she knew it would ruin her resolve to not think of things so helplessly. It didn’t seem smart to start playing a game while simultaneously accepting that the result had already been decided – to her mind, it was probably why nothing had changed in Neverland for however many centuries. If Pan controlled everything and everyone then there was no way she could win this. She was as ineffective as a gnat against his skin, and she may as well be one of the gaunt mothers they had seen turning the corners of the Maze of Regrets, wishing and crying out, never to realise they were trapped in a place that never changed, that never could change.

The pirates, the Lost Boys, Tiger Lily and the native tribe. They were all just chasing each other round and round the clock, waiting for the gears to run down but knowing they never would. It was violent and infinite and fuck she just wanted the temperature to cool down for just a second so she could think.

Only she was the rogue element here. Which just proved…

“He doesn’t control everything on the island,” she realised. Pan couldn’t control her, but he could control Henry, making him come to her and beg her to leave him behind. He also gave her that map because he wanted it to show her something painful. “Sometimes he can only control what you see.”

Pan wanted to get rid of her, that much was abundantly clear – and that meant she had to represent something more.

“What are you talking about?” Killian asked, likely exasperated that she was ignoring his advice once again.

“The Maze,” Emma was rushing the words out, her heart beginning to thump rapidly against her ribcage as her excitement grew. “They’re mothers, you said, looking for their kids. You said they’re left there because the boys don’t want to go to them, but what if that’s not it all? What if they don’t know?”

Killian’s eyebrows knitted together. “What’re you getting at?” She stood, unable to sit there waiting for a second longer. “Swan?”

Emma turned to stare at Nibs, still staring at his boots and scuffing them in the dirt.

“I’m going to give him what every lost kid wants,” she said firmly, beginning to march over to him. “A mother.”

Nibs instinctively looked up when she approached, but quickly lowered his eyes, such had been the standard since Killian’s outburst a little while ago. The boy had been determined to stay silent, perhaps hoping they would deem him worthless enough to merit just letting go. Emma was determined to not let it all go to waste.

“Nibs,” she said blithely, “that’s a funny name. You had it all your life?” As expected, the boy did not reply. “Don’t suppose it’s short for anything… like Nabil?”

She’d heard it at the Maze – every sound that had come from there, every pained cry and plea, had remained etched into her memory afterwards. It was good, she’d decided. Good to have a reminder of what she was working for, and what she might become if she gave up. She was going out on a limb here, praying for a miracle and that there was some connection between a name she had heard scattered on the wind, and the little lost boy in front of her.

From the way he looked up at her, gaping with wide eyes, she felt she might’ve hit her mark.

“Wh – where did you hear that?” he asked hoarsely.

Triumphant, Emma smiled. “From your Mom.”

“My… mother?”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t understand.”

Emma tried to think of the best way to convey what she knew. She cast her mind back to Starkey’s maps of Neverland. “You ever seen that big structure, the one at the mouth of the river that comes down from the mountain? The pirates call it Misery Bay.”

Only later had she realised why.

Nibs’ eyes flickered fearfully. His tongue darted out to his dry lips. “We… we don’t go there. That’s where the witches are.”

“Witches?”

“Witches,” he affirmed. “They eat children. At night they cry, thinking about all the meals they can never have. Peter traps them in the Maze of Witches so they’ll never catch us.”

It was such a bald-faced lie that it made Emma furious. Those mothers could have been there for centuries, trapped, and all along their sons had never known that they were there – had in fact been afraid of their grief, as it were a weapon that would cause them harm. Every day the boys got a little more lost, and the mothers lost a little more hope that they would ever find their wayward children; and through it all Pan watched, and laughed, and let everyone around him fall into even greater misery.

“You’re wrong,” she replied gently, “they’re mothers, Nibs. Pan doesn’t want you to know, but moms come back for their kids all the time – I’m just the latest in a long line.” Somehow she’d escaped the Maze’s magic, and although she had no idea why she was grateful. “He wants you to stay lost so you can be soldiers in his war.”

The struggle Nibs was facing in digesting what she was telling him was written all across his features, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The scarlet scar under his cheek appeared to wink up at her, whispering Henry in a way that made her feel queasy.

“Peter, he… wouldn’t.”

It wasn’t easy to start doubting the person you believed in most – she had enough experience of that.

“I’m here for my son. I love him so much, I want to take him home. But Pan wants him to forget all about me.” Even giving the errant thought a voice was frightening. “Your Mom’s in that maze, Nibs. I’m sure of it.”

“Not – not my mother,” Nibs frowned. “She… she was only ever interested in money. She wouldn’t come for me.”

“Sometimes we need to lose what’s most important to us before we realise how much we treasure it. I won’t leave Henry again.”

Determined, Emma circled the tree and began tugging at the knots that kept the boy in place. Starkey let out a noise of alarm, and she could hear Killian scrambling to his feet and reaching for his cutlass in the background.

Even Nibs seemed startled at the development. “What are you doing?”

“I’m letting you go,” she muttered, huffing at the effort of tugging the rope free. Damn those sailor knots and how goddamn tight they were. “Now you can either go back to Pan, tell him where we are and get us killed, or you can go to that maze and find your Mom.”

The last knot loosened and Nibs sprang forward, wincing and rubbing at his wrists. With more than a little guilt, Emma noticed the angry red lines circling them from where he had pulled at the bonds. It only strengthened her resolve, even as the boy stared at her warily. It looked like he didn’t quite believe he was really being released. Killian was the one who had said it – only Lost Boys could enter the Maze. It stood to reason that Nibs would be able to get in there and confirm what she had said for himself.

“Find your Mom,” Emma repeated, “then come back here and help me get Henry back too.”

Please, she begged silently, please, help us.

The boy looked first at her, then over his shoulder where Killian stood, hand poised and ready on his cutlass. Then Nibs stared back at her, expression completely neutral, before he tore off into the forest without a word.

No sooner had his shadow touched the treeline before the boy vanished from sight. Emma couldn’t even hear him moving through the undergrowth, as if he were a ghost or had taken to the air – maybe this was the gift of the true inhabitants of Neverland. They knew how to bend the forest around them like an old friend, they didn’t have to fight against it the way she did.

Dusk kissed the trees now, and the light was rapidly fading. What had once been clear twenty feet away now blurred and ran between each other, and she almost didn’t notice Killian stepping up beside her, staring out at where Nibs had vanished.

He made an uneasy noise. “Now what?”

Emma bit her lip, placing her hands on her hips. “We wait.”

“You’re taking a big risk here, Swan.”

“I know,” she muttered. It was probably a big ask, making Killian put his trust in one of his greatest enemies – but something on the chessboard needed to change. Perhaps she could make this knight a turncoat. “He’ll come back, don’t worry.”

She spoke with far more assurance than she felt, and they both knew it.

Please come back, she begged silently into the sky.

He had to come back.

***

Hook didn’t like it one bit.

Staying in one place for so long was bad enough – he had learnt, through years of skirmishes with the Lost Ones and the natives, that doing so only left you an easy target for an ambush – but the idea of entrusting their fate to one of Pan’s minions was borderline repellent. Emma, unfortunately, could not be persuaded to the contrary. She had insisted on their setting up camp exactly where the boy had left them, and waiting on his return. Hook would merit a lot of shortcomings to Emma Swan since he had met her, but blind faith and gullibility had not been among them. The boy hadn’t even said he would return. He had simply run off into the woods without a single word either way.

Still, despite his misgivings, Hook did as he was bid.

Starkey and Noodler had set about laying the bones of their camp, pulling the canvas sheet out in order to provide shelter. Hook could taste it in the air, rain was coming. Much like the day before he had met Emma Swan, they were due a storm of the like he preferred to endure at sea, as safe as could be weathered aboard the deck of the Jolly Roger. It might not come tonight, but by the end of tomorrow, he was certain. The breeze was thick and moist as it lured the evening closer, and Hook started a fire.

They roasted a hare they had caught for supper and split it four ways, adding a helping of nuts in order to try and assuage any further rumbles of hunger, and Hook had cast a doubtful look at their remaining supplies. They had enough for another day or two, but they would soon need to replenish their load from the Jolly Rogers’ stores if they were to remain inland. Even this many years after claiming her, his spirits rose at the prospect of returning to his ship, for however short a time. It did not suit him to be so far from her bow.

Convince Emma Swan to leave Neverland and I’ll give you what you want most.

It felt as if the longer he spent with Emma Swan, the less he wanted her to fail.

She had impressed him today. Even if she insisted on ignoring Pan’s map, Hook had never once considered that the Lost Ones had no idea the Maze of Regrets existed – not in its true form. Witches. If he had ever wanted further proof of Pan’s wickedness, the fact that the Lost Ones were unknowingly being kept from their mothers was more than enough. Hook hadn’t doubted for a second that it was the ferocity of the boys that kept that Maze alive with sorrow.

Emma, however, had seen right through it for what it was.

I learnt what real strength is. It’s perseverance, it’s belief. It’s seeing the best in people even when it’s hard.

Had he ever been that way? He couldn’t remember now. For so long all he knew how to be was this. The only person he thought to look out for was himself. Hook would have made that boy suffer as much as needed until they got what they wanted – but Emma had pulled apart Nibs’ arrogant veneer, exposed the child underneath and found another way.

He wants you to stay lost so you can be soldiers in his war.

Seeing the best in people, even the Lost Ones. How, he could only wonder. How did she do it?

Gold took more than your hand from you, didn’t he?

Hook’s heart thumped heavily in his chest when he thought back to that moment. It was too much, too soon. He’d wanted to give her something, make her focus on unlocking the map, but he had opened up too far. He should never have told her his name. Even so, when her tongue curled around it, and her mouth let it fall like the gentle droplets of early rain, something fluttered in the pit of his stomach.

Killian.

He took a steadying breath.

Too close.

He was handing her over to Pan, anyway. None of it mattered.

Was he?

Something snapped in the bushes to his right, and Hook’s eyes were drawn immediately to the sound. In the dark he couldn’t make anything out, but rose cautiously to his feet anyway. A glance back at the fire showed Starkey and Emma speaking in low voices. Noodler stood at the opposite end of the clearing, one of his palms flat against a pine. He often did so when he was deep in thought. Nobody else had heard.

It could’ve been an animal, or the wind shaking something loose from the branches of a tree. It could be nothing at all.

It could be Nibs.

Something stuttered to life in his chest at the thought.

Emma’s optimism was wickedly contagious.

No sooner had he reached the edge of the clearing, than his eyes landed on the source of the sound.

A boy, grey eyes sullen, face smeared with dirt, was crouched amongst the brush. In his hands he held a spear with a sharp, inky black point Hook knew must be dreamshade, and he doubted he was alone. The boy stared back at Hook, defiantly, the corner of his mouth curling upwards.

Fuck Nibs.

Before Hook could raise the alarm, a shout came from behind him.

“Captain!”

From the other end of the clearing, a wall of three Lost Ones had emerged, brandishing wooden swords and bows, arrows already notched in place. When Hook turned back to the boy he had seen, he realised four more had lifted themselves up from the ground, fierce spectres of youth and darkness. A glance all around confirmed that which he’d already suspected.

They were surrounded.

“I expected this from you, Emma, you’re new here. But I’m especially disappointed in you, Captain.”

Pan’s voice was positively dripping with malice, stepping out of the dark until his expression was illuminated by the firelight, his eyes black and dancing with amusement. Hook let out a long, aggressive string of expletives.

Noodler and Starkey were standing with their swords raised, trying to work out which boy to settle on as their target – but Emma’s blade was pointed squarely at Pan. As the boys in front of Hook advanced, he allowed himself to be herded back over to join the others.

Pan shook his head in disappointment. “You know better than to ignore my rules.”

Hook said nothing, merely glared back at him.

“It’s – wait, what is that expression you’re so fond of? No, wait, don’t tell me,” Pan affected an expression of concentration. “It’s on the tip of my tongue.”

One of the overeager Lost Ones loosed a black-tipped arrow, and it sang just past the skin of Hook’s cheek before clattering to a stop on a trunk behind him.

“Oh, that’s it.”

Pan smiled, but his eyes were dark and hollow.

“Bad form.”

#jay writes #brink #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan #canon divergence #cs au #killian jones #emma swan #neverland #cs au week #I hope you guys like this!

42 notes · View notes

tsukuna · 4 years

Text

Side by Side

Summary: You wandered into Red Grave City to warn the “Legendary Devil Hunter” of a certain… negative shift in the area’s energy. It was an energy you knew to be demonic, and it grew stronger by the day. But on your way to meet with the intermediary, a noisy bird caught your attention. A noisy bird that would bring you to a frail man on the brink of falling apart.

Rated M • Female Reader • Before the Events of DMC V• Under the Cut • Part 1 • Part 3

“People who come asking for demon extermination… most of them tend to either lie or exaggerate,” Dante began slowly, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m not that petty to get mad about it every single time. Lie if you want to, I’ll kill that demon regardless…” The devil hunter paused. “But you’ve got to pick better names for stories you come up with, you know?”

A deep shiver went down your spine causing you to flinch. This aura is overwhelming. From the moment you entered the building, you could smell that the man wasn’t purely human, but you never would’ve guessed this was how strong his demonic side was. From your peripheral, it appeared V was feeling the same chills as you.

“It’s fine if you doubt me,” V said after a moment. “It will become apparent once Redgrave is demonised.”

You released your tension through a sigh as Dante seemed to calm himself back down, though you couldn’t help but notice his expression of disbelief. This demon--Vergil--must have been one he’s encountered before.There was little point in speculating though, you did what you came to do and delivered the warning as did V.

Turning around, you noticed him staring at a picture of a woman on Dante’s desk. You quirked your brow as he grimaced and walked away from it with a “tch.” What a strange man.

“Thank you Dante,” you turned to the Devil Hunter once more and gave a short bow. His blue eyes only glanced at you before he nodded in response. “Let’s be off then,” you quietly said while taking V by the arm.

A brisk wind blew past as you exited the building. You shuddered and rubbed your arms to warm them up. V placed a hand on your shoulder. It was done a bit awkwardly, but there was a warmth and comfort to it that made your expression soften. “I’m staying here in Redgrave,” you declared.

“As am I,” he reciprocated.

“We should stick together then, hm?” You laughed, “Or is that too forward of me?” The suggestion did seem to genuinely surprise the man.

“I don’t think I’m particularly great company.”

“I’m not sure that I know what good company is anyways,” you shrugged.

“You can obviously see that I’m the best fucking company,” and with that, Griffon was once again nestled in your hair. You reached up and used your fingers to ruffle his feathers a bit. Huh, they’re actually quite soft.

“Yes Griffon, I am aware that you are the epitome of camaraderie.” Even in the dark, you could see V roll his eyes.

“See, Shakespeare? This is the type of compliment you should be giving m--”

V shoved his cane in the bird’s mouth. “Not a chance.” He then said your name. The amount of people who ever knew your actual name could be counted on your fingers, so your heart lurched a bit at the sound. “Let’s stick together.”

“Mm,” you agreed. “It’s a shit place, but I did manage to scrounge up some extra cash and afford a motel the other day.” Griffon made a sound as close to a whistle as his strange beak could make and promptly received a flick in the eye from you.

“What the fuck was that for!” He squawked.

“Oh you know goddamn know what that was for,” you pointed your finger in his face. A candid chuckle came from V, and it warmed your cheeks up. “Amazing, I didn’t realize you could be that cute,” you patted him on the back. Before he could respond, you began to walk towards the motel. “It’s this way,” you beckoned. And so he followed. Even Shadow decided to manifest, perhaps even shape-shifting, demon cats like to stretch their legs.

The trip wasn’t a long one and you were soon unlocking the door. Griffon and Shadow busted in before you could even step past the threshold.

“What a luxury!” the chatterbox exclaimed. You were thoroughly amused watching him fly in circles, even Shadow began to circle for a comfy spot on the bed.

“Welcome to my humble, temporary abode. Considering that this place probably isn’t… the most cared for, I understand if you want to keep the shoes on. I have a feeling you’re a little sensitive about mess considering the burger situation earlier today.”

“While I don’t relish being called sensitive, I suppose you’re not wrong,” V sighed. You also realized that the room was rather small, big enough to fit only the bed and a little bathroom with a cramped shower. There wasn’t even floor space.

“Aaand it looks like we’ll all be sharing the bed,” you looked away sheepishly. “But first, I’m going to shower. I reek like residual demon blood from holding you.”

“I’ll go after then,” he nodded. “I probably smell worse than you.”

“Yeah, you absolutely do,” you glanced over your shoulder. Judging by the eruption of laughter from Griffon, someone found your comment to be amusing. You began undressing as you made your way to the bathroom, eventually shutting the door behind you.

The hot water hitting your skin eased all the weird feelings inside of you. This was the longest amount of time you spent with someone in years. Not only was that a cause of unease, but V was also an eccentric character. There were moments where he was near impossible to read--not to mention his connection to the demonic entities and a deep understanding of this emerging problem.

You ended up sitting down as you worked on washing your hair, but you decided against showering too long since you had another person waiting to clean up. After toweling off, you changed into a t-shirt and shorts that you luckily brought. You knew once your head hit that pillow, you’d be out for the night. A lot had happened. “You’re free to shower V,” you let him know upon walking out of the bathroom. He observed you with a strange look on his face, which made you realize that you were holding the dagger from your boot in your hands. “Ah, I keep this on me for obvious reasons.”

“It’s quite intricate,” V noted as he began to get up, and he was right. It was ornate with a hilt of blue and gold. “I’ll try to not be too long.” You waved him off and jumped onto the lumpy mattress, being careful not to puncture the bed. It shocked you that both Shadow and a chatty bird like Griffon appeared to be sound asleep. That’s kinda adorable. You took your half of the bed, tucking yourself in and getting as comfy as you could in that room. Consciousness left you swiftly once your eyes closed.

You found yourself lying in a patch of dewy grass, groggy and with a pulsing headache. Turning your head, you saw vicious flames destroying a beautiful home. “What a shame,” you murmured as you slowly rose up from the ground and massaged your temples. You hugged your knees and watched the dance of orange and red with the sounds of crackling. Funny how fire was so utterly destructive, yet full of the warmth you reluctantly craved.

A scent assaulted your nostrils. It was a scent that could only mean demons. You whipped your head around to find the source. There were demons of bone, carrying scythes… and there was a boy with white hair getting surrounded by them. “Oh shit!” You began to sprint as fast as your body could take you and began to pull paper talismans from your pocket.

The scythe was coming down and even from a distance, you could see the boy’s face full of fear. “No fucking way,” you yelled and slapped down the seal. The demon’s body concaved and turned to dust. You took the little boy by the shoulders and searched for wounds. A bloodied cut on his forehead stained some of his silver hair. You wore bandages around your hands to hide some scarring, but what did it matter at that moment. Tearing it off, you quickly got into taking care of the bleeding. Luckily it was small and quick to heal up and away. He also didn’t appear to have any other physical injuries. You picked up his little, shivering body. “We have to go,” you urged and brushed his bangs back.

“I can’t go,” he sobbed out, though you could see he was straining to remain strong. “My mom and brother are going to come out. I have to wait for them.” You turned once more to the house. It was consumed by fire and black smoke. There was no way anyone was coming out of there.

“We need to get you to safety okay? I’ll go grab them after I ward the demons away from you, okay?” The boy’s blue eyes, stained with fear, bored into you until he finally nodded. “I’ll keep you here so you can see.” And with that, you grabbed your dagger and sliced open your palm. You gently placed it into the dirt and began to recite words from a language long forgotten. Rays of divine light began to surround the boy.

But it would not be finished. Your body collapsed before you could close the gap, and you could see demons lurking to exploit that whole. You attempted to reach forward and finish what you started. The boy called out for you, afraid of all that was going on around him. Your fingertips nearly touched until your limbs began to disintegrate into puffs of dark clouds.

“Live.”

Your eyes snapped open and your chest pounded. What an awful fuckin’ dream. You examined yourself, relieved to see that all your body was fully intact.

“What is it?” A jolt of adrenaline shot through you until you remembered you were not alone in the room.

“Oh... V. You scared me,” you mumbled sheepishly, “I forgot you were there.” You flopped back down onto the pillow. He offered a groggy apology that you waved away. “Not your fault, I’m just a little on edge from a dream.” You buried yourself deeper into the covers but couldn’t stop shivering, so you slowly inched closer to the inside of the bed.

V, who noticed the movements, looked at you strangely. “I’m really fucking cold,” you explained, slightly embarrassed. “Just trying to mooch a little more of your body heat without throwing myself onto you.”

“I know a sure way for you two to get warmer real quick,” Griffon mockingly crowed from on top of the bed frame. You swiftly reached your hand up and plucked out one of his feathers. “Shit! I’m just saying!” He pecked your hand away so you couldn’t grab another feather.

“Just be quiet already,” V grumbled. There was a pause in the room. “I don’t care if you get closer,” he eventually offered in the darkness of the room. It was an offer you took immediately and soon enough, the two of you were packed side to side under the blanket. Both of you were stiff from the unfamiliar contact, but if you were honest with yourself, it was nice. Sharing the warmth with another person was something you always yearned for as a child. Perhaps Griffon understood the sentiment because he quickly plopped himself between your heads.

Lucky for you, you were still exhausted, so the awkwardness of the situation didn’t prevent you from passing out yet again.

There were no more dreams that night. You woke to dried drool on your chin, messy hair, and V sitting up and reading his book.

“Rise and shine princess!” Griffon chirped.

“Ugh, please don’t give me a headache upon waking up,” you groaned, earning a cackle from the demon. After stretching in bed for a bit, you finally stood up. “I can already sense that I look disgusting, I’m gonna clean up.”

It didn’t take long for you to do the basics of brushing hair, washing your face off, and brushing your teeth. What did take time was re-bandaging select areas of your body--a hand, a calf, your abdomen--lest you get even stranger looks from people. It was impossible for V to have not seen though while you undressed the night before and while you slept. In fact, you took note that he was actually considering the bandages and clothes you were wearing, as if he noticed something.

“Do you have something to ask me about?” He considered your question for an irritatingly long time. “Just come out with it,” you rolled your eyes. “I don’t care.”

“You have a lot of scarring and markings all along your body,” V commented.

“Indeed I do.”

“I don’t understand why you hide it,” he shrugged.

“I’d prefer not to attract the stares of others with scars and tattoos that mark a treacherous past.”

“Scars indicate power and strength.”

You couldn’t contain your burst of laughter. “If only others thought like you! With the amount of shit I got going on, no one would try to fuck with me!” V let a smirk out as well. “But hey, how is your body feeling today?”

“Weak, but that’s normal,” he clearly spited that fact.

Making your way closer, you put a hand on his chest. “Your energy is a lot more stable than it was when I found you. But it could use some support. Can I help?”

“I’ve always loathed the help of others. I hate this sense of powerlessness, but I don’t wish to die,” V stated. You took that as the go-ahead. With a deep breath, you once more began to pour pieces of yourself into the man. The stone within the ring you treasured shifted from blue to white, as it was so intricately intertwined with your life.

You could feel V shift underneath you. “I’m sorry, this must be uncomfortable for you.”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt, and I will do what it takes to survive. I will endure whatever till that demon is gone.” You hummed in understanding.

“Your body should be good for now,” you pulled away.

“Thank you,” V said softly while retying his shirt.

“Hey, thanks from the whole gang! If Shakespeare dies, we die too!” By the grimace on V’s face, you presumed that Griffon revealed a bit more than he would’ve liked.

“Well, along with the rules of the quid pro quo I laid out, I suppose I should say something that my life is linked to, yeah?” Those dark green eyes looked at you inquisitively. “If this ring here shatters,” you put your hand out to him so he could see, “I’m donezo.” The sentence came out rather matter-of-factly and without feeling despite it being about your demise. “Aaand if you wish to know more about that, you gotta let me know something,” you winked.

“I’ll let you know when I think of something,” V replied competitively.

“You two or oh so interesting and all, but what hijinks are we up to today?” Griffon butted in.

“What does the little chicken wish to do today?”

He narrowed his eyes at you but ignored the jab. “Those cheesy circle things,” he declared.

“Pizza?” You tilted your head.

“Yeah, that! Pizza!”

You turned out your pockets to see how much money was left. It was a couple dollars and some rogue coins. “It appears that we’ll have to go ‘earn’ some money again.”

“You mean fucking some more people up?” The little bird seemed quite excited at the prospect.

“There’s that, but there’s probably some less damaging routes we can go.”

“Boo.” Griffon said before dissipating.

“We’ll need to find a shitty bar first,” you told V and began tying your boots back on.

“Why a bar?” He didn’t seem to relish the idea.

“I know they’re full of scumbags, but those scumbags are also dumbasses who don’t know how to keep their money safe. Trust me,” you added.

“So you’re proposing that we steal,” V replied skeptically.

“Oh I’m sorry, is that too lowly for you?” The man’s expression tightened at the taunt.

“Whatever,” he waved away whatever argument was about to begin. “Lead us and do what you will.”

The two of you walked out of the room back into the sun. The search for a trashy hangout was afoot. Small talk ensued between you and V, but nothing all that engaging. It ended up falling into a silence--not that you minded. The walk wasn’t too long anyways, cesspool bars were always aplenty in the back alleys of cities.

“That one.” You pointed to an “establishment” called The Cat Trap. It featured the name in neon pink lights and the sexy silhouette of a woman. The face V made was if you just shoved a sour lemon in his mouth. “There will be plenty of disgusting, drunk men to take from. My only hope is that there’s enough money to justify entering such a filthy place.”

A deep, dramatic sigh came from him, “Let’s just get this over with so we can eat.”

“Give me your arm. It’ll look better if we appear to be together.”

“Are we not together,” he questioned.

“Shut up,” you punched him in the shoulder. “You know I meant together together.”

V gave you his arm with a sigh, which you promptly looped in your own. “You fade into the background and take money however you can,” you instructed. “Maybe even use bits of Shadow to help out.”

He looked to you then began to lead the way in. Lo and behold, it was a dimly lit, dirty looking bar. It was a little surprising how many people were there despite it being daytime. How lucky.

Almost immediately, a man who reeked of alcohol stumbled towards you. “Hello, there sweety. Looking for a good time?” He gave you a wink with his already half-lidded eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you gave a half-assed apology, “I’m not here alone.”

“I don’t see anyone with you,” it was gross watching him look you up and down.

“V, come over!” He drew towards you with a confused expression. “As you can see, I’m with my boyfriend.” A total lie, I’ve never had a boyfriend.

“Boyfriend? That scrawny guy?” he slurred rather loudly and tried to size him up. “How about you come with me instead, sexy? I can show you a much better time.” The patron groped your ass. You gave him the sweetest smile you could before decking him square in the nose. It made an audible crunch and you looked in disgust at his blood on the bandages around your hand.

“How vile,” you scowled and unwrapped yourself, dropping the dirty cloth on the man. “You should feel truly blessed that I didn’t break your hand off.” You juxtaposed the deadpan tone with a pleasantness. “Let us be off, darling,” you said while turning on your heel and taking his hand.

“Hah!” Griffon burst out into laughter once the coast was clear for him to re-emerge. “Who knew you were such a hardass. You should teach Shakespeare a lesson or two!”

“I would rather not kill him.” V made no effort to hide his glare. “I jest, I jest!” You threw your hands up in submission. “How much money did you get though?”

He shuffled through an array of bills. “Enough.”

“Let’s go get this tweety bird his pizza then.” Pleased by your response, Griffon decided to perch on your shoulder. All of you agreed upon getting takeout instead of sitting in an establishment, and you were grateful that it was take-and-go at the shop you found.

The group of you found a deserted alley and rested against the brick wall. “The two of you probably want to eat first, huh?” With a sigh, you opened the box and fed Griffon with one hand and Shadow with the other. It was… cute--other than the demon cat’s slobber getting all over your hands.

“You’re far too nice to them,” V seemed to chastise you.

With a shrug, you responded, “I’ve always loved animals. They aren’t nearly as shitty as people, even demonic pets like these little guys.” Were it not for the bite of pizza in his mouth, Griffon surely would have complained that he was called ‘little.’ “Alright, it’s my turn to eat.” You made sure to thoroughly wipe your hands before digging into what was left. “Oh yeah, sorry for calling you my boyfriend,” you said between bites.

“Can’t say I particularly cared. Unfortunately it didn’t keep him away.”

“Mhm,” you hummed through a mouthful of food.

The day ended unceremoniously, nothing of consequence happened and the night went much like the night before. Only a couple days passed until the Qliphoth began to take root in Redgrave, and May 16th finally came. It was time to regroup with Dante.

#v/reader #v x reader #v #female reader #self insert #v x you #v/you #dmc 5 #Devil May Cry 5 #ghuoligans #multichapter #also posted to ao3 #find me on ao3 as Adagium (Ghouligans)#slow burn #devil may cry #vitale x reader #vitale/reader #vitale x you #vitale/you

26 notes · View notes

maaaaaatryoshka0325 · 5 years

Text

Shattered Sky - Hwang Hyunjin Zombie Apocalypse AU Part 9

(<- Previous Part) (Next Part ->)

Warnings: Blood, gore, first half revolves around grief and depression.

The funeral for Kin was both beautiful, and tragic. Everyone showed up. Not one person stayed in their cottage, not one person hid from the reality. The reality in which people died almost to the brink of extinction, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

You had found the most beautiful spot to bury Kin, between the flower beds in the small field that grew in the center. Where Daisy and Belle would roam, so he would never be far from the cow he had cared for since she had gotten here. The cows and goats seemed curious about the hole that had been dug by Hyunjin and Woobin. Deep enough for the ground to swallow him, to take him and make him apart of this earth,

You stood between Woobin and Hoseok, both of them with stone faces and guns in their hands. Felix, Minho, and Jisung held guns in their own, along with a few other men. You heard whispers and looked up, seeing Hyunjin walking through the parted crowed, Kin in his arms, Jeongin walking beside him. Jeongin’s eyes were puffy, tear stains accompanied by fresh tears on his cheeks. Felix swallowed hard as tears pricked his eyes, his lower lip trembling.

Kin’s face and body was cleaned of blood, his skin a pale shade. Hyunjin’s arms held his body tightly, his eyes blank and cold. You heard bells jingling and watched as Daisy and Belle both approached Hyunjin, looking at Kin. Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, allowing Daisy and Belle to get closer. You watched as Daisy sniffed Kin’s hair and face, before letting out a low, sad sounding moo. Belle rested her chin on his chest, and Hyunjin gently lowered him so the two could get closer. You heard bleating and watched as the goats came and sniffed at him too, their lips lightly kissing over his cheeks. Felix let out a small sob watching the animals, and Minho gently pulled his head into the crook of his neck as he cried. Hyunjin gently stroked Daisy’s neck as she nuzzled Kin, an almost sad look on her face.

“I know girl, I know.” Hyunjin whispered.

He lifted himself and Kin back up, and the men lifted their gun to their chests as Hyunjin walked him to the open earth. The men raised their guns and fired at the sky, in honor of their fallen friend. Tears slipped down from your eyes, and this time, you didn’t bother wiping them away as Hyunjin gently laid Kin on the earth, his eyes fixed on Kin, knowing this would be the last time he’d ever see him. He gently stroked his cheek, then kissed his forehead.

“Until we see each other again, my dear little brother.” He whispered.

He allowed everyone to say goodbye, kind words being spoken to Kin’s body. Jeongin walked up and pressed his forehead to Kin’s, his tears wetting his lost friend’s.

“I’ll miss you.” Jeongin whispered.

He stood up and stepped up to Hyunjin, burying his face into Hyunjin’s shoulder. Hyunjin held the back of his head, his eyes blank as he cradled Jeongin. You slowly walked over to where Kin lay, before kneeling beside him and pushing his hair out of his face.

“Thank you, Kin. I’m so sorry.” You whispered, kissing his cheek.

You slowly stood up, walking back over to Hoseok and Woobin as everyone else bid their farewells. Hyunjin, Jeongin, and Felix lifted Kin’s body and laid him in the earth before burying him. You watched his body disappear as they shoveled the dirt over him, a small sob leaving your lips as you buried your faced into Hoseok’s back. He reached back and held your hand, giving it a soft squeeze. When he was buried, Yuna stepped foreword. She placed a few lilies over his grave, planting a few more on the sides.

“Lilies mean purity, and I’ve never met anyone as pure as Kin was.” She said softly.

Felix sobbed at her words, leaning his head on Hyunjin’s back as he sobbed. Hyunjin gave her a small bow before she stepped back into the crowd, stepping beside you and rubbing your back. Everyone raised their guns and fired up, making you flinch at the loud bang. Hoseok turned over and pulled you into his arms, his face in your hair. You clung to him tightly, your heart hurting as he and Yuna comforted you. Kin didn’t deserve this, he deserved to be here, and you couldn’t help but blame yourself.

Trying to move on from death was one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. You were hardly recovered from losing Ari, and now Kin, your dear, sweet little friend, was gone. You didn’t know how to help yourself. You didn't want to eat, you didn’t want to talk or see anyone, you just wanted to sleep. Hoseok and Yuna have been checking in on you, but both are at a loss of what to say at this point.

Why was the world so cruel to all of the good people? Why was it ripping all the good from itself? You didn't know what to think, didn't know what to feel. Your eyes felt heavy, felt tired. You had dark bags under your eyes from the nightmares that wouldn't go away. You kept seeing the image of him reaching for you every time you dreamed, kept seeing the terrible wound. The sound of his voice calling for you rang in your ears, no matter how hard you tried to cover them.

You heard the door to your cottage open and footsteps walking into your room. You looked up and saw Jeongin walking in, his eyes matching yours. Dark circles were around his eyes, and they were blood shot and puffy. He sat on the edge of your bed, his eyes on his hands. Neither of you seemed to know what to say, so you sat up and leaned against his back, your head resting on the back of his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry Jeongin.” You whispered.

“For what?” He asked, looking back at you, his large eyes sad.

“I-If I had actually checked when I heard someone in the building the night the medical building was set on fire, it wouldn't of been as damaged as it was. If I had moved or paid attention when the building collapsed, Kin would be-”

“Enough.” He cut you off firmly, shocking you.

He looked back at you, his eyes firm, but not full of hate or blame.

“It isn't your fault, and no one blames you. Not Hyunjin Hyung, not Woobin Hyung or Hoseok Hyung. Not Felix Hyung or Jisung Hyung. Not even Minho Hyung.” He pointed out firmly.

“He’s right.”

You both turned and saw Woobin standing in the doorway, his arms folded over his chest.

“He died a hero kid, don't take that from him.” He said.

You wiped the tears that began to brim in your eyes and buried your face into the back of Jeongin’s shoulder. He sat there and allowed you to compose yourself, Woobin staying in the door way. When you pulled away, Woobin walked over and sat at the end of your bed.

“Listen, I know losing your friend was hard, I really do. But you have to keep moving foreword. Don’t put his sacrifice to waste.” He said.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before nodding, giving the both of them soft smiles.

“Okay.” You finally said.

They were right, you can't put Kin’s sacrifice to waste. You have o push through and fight to survive, fight for the survival of you and your friends. You smiled at Woobin and hugged him.

“Thank you, Woobin. And thank you, Jeongin.” You said.

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Woobin huffed.

You giggled and sat back up before hopping out of bed.

“I could go for some food.” You said.

They both smiled and followed you out of your cottage and into the cool air.

You ate your food quietly with Woobin and Jeongin, listening to conversations from the other table.

“Didn't she lock herself away?”

“Wow, now she’s stuffing her face.”

“She didn't know Kin as long as us, she has no right to act like she can be more sad!”

All of their comments made you feel sick to your stomach, so sick you almost pushed your food away, when someone walked up to your table. You looked up and saw Hyunjin, his dark eyes looking around as everyone fell silent. He set his plate down and sat beside you, poking at his food.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” You said lowly.

“Don’t listen to what they say.” Hyunjin said, taking a bite of his food.

“They’re right though. I didn’t know Kin as long as you guys.” You pointed out.

“It doesn't matter how long you’ve known someone, Y/N. You were close with Kin, most of them just saw him around.” He said, looking at you. “You’re allowed to grieve.”

You fell silent and nodded before taking another bite of your food.

“What happened to the same attitude you had when I first got here about grieving and crying?” You asked with a small laugh.

He gave you a soft smile before continuing to eat, his dark eyes lifting and scanning the room as not another comment came out of anyone’s mouth.

“Should we go hunting again soon?” You asked.

“Are you up for it?” He asked.

“I think I’ve taken enough time off. I’m sorry I was so childish and didn’t think of anyone else because I was blinded by my own grief.” You apologized with a small blush, feeling foolish.

“People handle grief differently.” You heard a voice say.

Hoseok sat down with Yuna, a smile on his face.

“It’s good to have you back.” He said.

You smiled at him as Yuna sat beside you, hugging you tightly. You smiled and pulled away, looking at her baby bump.

“They’re getting so big.” You said with a big smile.

“I know, they’re kicking a lot more too.” She said with a sweet smile.

You smiled and looked down at her belly. You heard voices and saw Minho, Felix, and Jisung appear, sitting at the table with all of you.

“Thank you, all of you, for being there for me. I promise to do better, and to return the favor.” You said.

Everyone smiled at you, Yuna hugging you again and Hoseok squeezing your hand.

You all ate and laughed when a man came bursting into the door, his eyes wide.

“Hyunjin, there’s a commotion at the gate.” He panted.

“What happened?” Hyunjin asked, leaping up.

You got up and followed him over to the man as he met you half way.

“There’s someone there freaking out.” He said.

“Who?” Hyunjin asked.

“He said his name is Seungmin.”

You all ran to the front of the amusement park, you telling Yuna to stay back and eat. When you came up, you saw Seungmin pacing, his shirt torn with blood spatters.

“What happened?” Hyunjin asked suddenly.

Seungmin ran over to Hyunjin, his sweet eyes wide with horror.

“Please help us, someone allowed walkers to invade and they’re slaughtering everyone!” He gasped out.

Hyunjin grabbed his face and leaned his forehead against Seungmin’s, their eyes meeting.

“Calm down, we’ll help.” He said.

He turned to all of you and you all nodded as you ran back to your cottages. You quickly strapped up your arrows, knives, and guns. You ran back out and ran back to the entrance.

“Are you sure you wanna go?” Hoseok asked.

“Of course!” You said confidently.

You all ran to the SUV’s, you getting into the passenger side beside Woobin. Seungmin stayed with Hyunjin, pointing out where to go as Hyunjin flew down the highway. Your heat beat through your chest, your mind racing as you all flew towards the prison.

When it came into sight, you gripped your bow and got ready, Hoseok and Felix ready to run out with you. The SUV came to an abrupt halt behind Hyunjin’s, and you quickly hopped out as soon as Hyunjin did.

Your eyes widened when you realized just how many walkers were around, and how many were freshly bitten. You quickly raised your bow and got one in the head, turning and shooting a few more. Hoseok leaped by you and slammed his sword straight into ones head. Woobin slammed a tomahawk into another skull, ripping it out and doing the same with another.

“Chan Hyung!” You heard Hyunjin call, and turned to see Chan rushing towards you call, Changbin at his side.

“You came.” Chan breathed.

“Of course we did! Are you bit?” Minho asked.

Both men shook their heads, their chests heaving in exhaustion.

“Where’s Woojin Hyung?” Jisung asked, worry in his eyes.

“I haven’t seen him.” Changbin rasped.

“C’mon, we’ll look. Jisung, Felix, get as many survivors as you can and bring them to the trucks. Let’s cleanse this place and find Woojin.” Hyunjin said.

You all nodded as you all split up, you with Hoseok and Woobin. The three of you ran upstairs, Woobin in the lead, you in the middle, Hoseok behind you. You pulled your bow back and shot as many as you could, and you soon realized you were low on arrows. You hated using guns the loud bangs making you anxious. You were grabbing for one of your knives when a huge weight hit you and sent you flying into the ground, landing with a hard thud. Your eyes widened as a walker snapped at your face, his teeth chomping loudly in your face.

You squealed and gripped your knife tightly as you shoved it back a bit, before slamming the knife straight into its eye. You pushed as far as you could until you heard an uncomfortable crunching sound and it dropped. You felt its weight being thrown off of you and Hoseok grabbed your cheeks.

“Shit! Y/N, are you okay?” He asked, his eyes wide.

You puffed and nodded as he helped you up, Woobin grabbing your shoulders.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” You said with a smile, catching your breath.

He sighed in relief and pulled you behind him, Hoseok once again taking the rear. You came across a lab and your heart dropped. Inside was Woojin, struggling with a very large walker. It’s jaws were so close to his face, his teeth grit as he held it away from him. Your feet took you before you could react.

“Y/N!” Hoseok yelled as you jumped onto the walker, jamming a knife into it’s forehead.

It fell back, it’s neck snapping as it’s head exploded off the wall. You looked down at it and quickly stood up, it’s decaying brain in pieces around you.

“Gross.” You cringed, wiping some off your arm.

“Thank you so much.” Woojin panted, giving you a grateful smile.

“No problem, are you okay?” You asked.

He nodded and smiled, wiping blood off of his cheek.

“I’m guessing Seungmin made it to the amusement park?” He asked, relief in his eyes.

“He did! He’s safe now.” You reassured him.

He sighed in relief as you all got ready to head out of the room, when you heard the door to the closet behind you creak open. You went to turn when you felt string arms grab you and you squealed, kicking frantically.

“Y/N!” Hoseok gasped as he and Woobin raised their guns.

You turned your head and saw a crazed looking man looking at you, a smile on his face.

“I wouldn't shoot if I were you.” He taunted, holding you too close to him for them to get an accurate shot.

Your body shook as you noticed his eyes were yellow, indicating he was sick. Though it wasn't walker sick, you knew whatever he had was making him crazy.

“Let her go Ed, she didn't do anything to you.” Woojin said, stepping foreward.

“Nuh huh huh. One step closer and I snap the bitches neck.” He snarled.

He slowly stepped away as Chan and Hyunjin ran into the room, Chan’s eyes wide and narrowed.

“Ed.. You let them in!” He yelled.

“So what if I have? We’re all doomed! All of us!” Ed yelled, making you tremble.

“You’ve done enough sir, just let her go.” Woobin pried.

“You act as if she has much longer to live anyways. The virus will get us all.” Ed said, his voice shaking.

Your eyes went to Hyunjin, and the look he gave you calmed you down. He gave you the same look when he was leading you away from the walkers, then in the abandoned house during the thunderstorm. That look made you relax, feel like it was going to be okay.

“Listen, I know it’s rough, I get it. You lost your wife, and now your two daughters. But we can all get through this, okay?” Chan said, soothing Ed.

Ed slowly let up, tears in his eyes as he looked down.

“They were my babies... Now they’re gone.” He whimpered, his voice cracking.

“I know Ed, but they’d want you to keep going, right?” Chan asked.

Ed fell silent as he looked at all of the men in front of him, his lip trembling.

“Now just let her go, okay? We can help you.” Chan said.

Ed sat there for a moment, his face turning nonchalant.

“It’s too late for me.” He said, jamming a syringe he had in his hand into your neck.

You shrieked in pain as your blood splattered across his arm and down your neck.

“Y/N!” You heard voices yell for you.

A loud bang filled your ears and the arms that was holding you let go and you dropped to the floor, clutching your neck and whimpering. You felt two arms grab you and you made eye contact with Woobin as he turned you over, his hands over the gash on the side of your neck.

“Fuck!” Woobin yelled.

You saw Hoseok drop down beside you, his hand grabbing yours.

“You’re gonna be okay- fuck- we have to get her back!” Hoseok yelled.

Hyunjin’s face was in your view, horror on his face. Woobin took his shirt off and pressed it to your wound before lifting you into his strong arms.

“Cover us!” He instructed.

Everyone stayed in front of you both as you clutched his shirt to your neck, your hands sticky and wet from your own blood. You all burst from the prison when you heard gasps.

“Oh no! Y/N!” Felix gasped, tears in his eyes as he ran over to you guys.

“Get in the truck! We have to get everyone back!” Woobin yelled.

Hyunjin looked at Minho quickly. “You drive.”

Woobin was clutching your hand as your eyes began to drift in and out, your body shaking.

“She lost so much blood.” He gasped.

“It’s gonna be okay, you hear me? You’re gonna be okay.” Hyunjin said, looking down at you, his hand over top of your wound.

Your body convulsed a bit, tears slipping down your cheeks.

“I’m cold.” You whimpered.

“I know darling, I know.” He said gently.

Your whimpers trailed off as your eyes closed, the last thing in your vision is Hyunjin’s shocked face.

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids hwang hyunjin #skz hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin zombie au #hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #skz hyunjin #stray kids #stray kids angst #straykids #skz #skz imagines #skz zombie au #stray kids zombie au

254 notes · View notes