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streaming-yn · 3 years

Note

Hi, its Grim anon! I was wondering if I could request a platonic bench trio with y/n (she/her) who is very open about her affection for the three (constantly complimenting them, saying ily, etc.), but lately she's been worried that people will take it the wrong way so she's stopped? And now they're like. Where's my Y/N validation? :(

yep yep!! here you go, grim anon! ^^ sorry if I got a bit off track? I'm not sure if I did or not!

platonic!BenchTrio x affectionate!y/n

pronouns: she/her

other information on the reader:

. minor

. very open with her affection

. minecraft streamer

. faceless streamer

. it's against her boundaries for anyone other than friends to use her real name

warnings: sexism/misogyny (ends well, the haters are addressed), idk but the "girl near streamer I like? ew wtf 😒" type of hate (also gets addressed n shut down), little angst, distancing yourself from friends, trying to change yourself, cussing, mention of "weird comments" made towards y/n *ALL OF THESE ISSUES ARE ADDRESSED AND SHUT DOWN THOUGH !!!

form: headcanons

summary: y/n is super openly affectionate with all of her friends! unfortunately, a lot of people think that's a negative thing, though Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo notice y/n's change and get to the bottom of it to fix the issue ^^

genre: platonic, little angst, fluff(?) after it gets found out, hurt to comfort type of deal ^^

abbreviations: s/n -> streamer name, y/n -> your name

note: I'm not very good at angst yet so I'm sorry if it kinda sucks !! :(

you were very in touch with your loving side and showed all your friends affection very openly and however you could

unfortunately, since y'all didn't live near each other that meant that you had to wait for visits for like hugs n stuff :(

at first you didn't think much of it, affection was a normal thing between friends, why do it differently on stream?

you would often tell the boys how much you loved them and we're genuinely happy and grateful that y'all were friends

complements and validation paired with this, naturally

the boys looked forward to streams with you, not only because you where best friends but for the serotonin that your affection brought :D

actually!! on streams with all of you together, it wouldn't be uncommon for tommy, tubbo, and ranboo to playfully fight over your affection

it would be in different ways though, like with Tommy, you would complement either ranboo or tubbo and if you didn't state a name tommy would be like "THAT WAS MENT FOR ME, (TUBBO/RANBOO)" after they thanked you

meanwhile tubbo would either go on about betrayal and how you didn't love him anymore and he's going to run away or he would do something along the lines of ":(( what about meee"

and ranboo, if the compliment wasn't aimed at him, even if you clearly added tommy or tubbo's name at the end, would always reply "thank you" or something similar

however it's different if the compliment is directed at them!

ranboo would thank you, do a small laugh that's half flustered half awkward, and then complement you back (he got less awkward and flustered as he got more used to it though!)

you could hear the smile in tubbo's voice as he loudly thanks you and gives you like 3 compliments in return

tommy, it would depend if either of y'all are streaming or not! yes? "I know" all jokingly cocky like. no? "thank you, I guess" he says it as a half joke, it's a genuine thank you, but he likes keeping it playful so the "I guess" is thrown on, it's random if he gives you a complement back or not, it's literally not even dependant on how he feels, it just at random

also I feel like you and Tommy would have like a "ily!! /p" "ew /j" bit, very often I will add 👍

like while your streaming you like "tommy!! I love you, thank you for being my friend :)" and him, completely disregarding the last bit, would reply "EWW, Y/N YOU DO KNOW IM I MINOR CORRECT??"

if him ever saying ew hurts your feelings then he won't say it, however he will say the rest, unless him deflecting your "ily" makes you feel bad as well, it's fairly easy to crack him to say it back since you're best friends

a lot of back and forth, but not too hard since he never wants to genuinely hurt you

ALSO if you complement him (on stream ofc) he will find a way to turn it around, not onto you, but just turning into something too tame to be labeled and insult but definitely something close!

"I like your sunglasses!!" "oH??? SO YOU DONT LIKE MY EYES??? THANKS S/N"

(also feel like tubbo might do this)

ofc would stop if it makes you sad/uncomfortable/etc

with ranboo though, he might occasionally do that, but it's way more often for you two to get into complementing matches (just going back and forth with complements)

you also sometimes do the "ily more" thing, just because it's funny bc it's like a cringe romance movie thing, y'all never do it on stream though because ppl might make it weird, and some friend quirks are better kept private anyway, just a you two thing :)

occasionally the "no you hang up first" too, except you both play they teen girl waving her hand and saying it the most high pitched voice she can. it's so funny hearing ranboo going so high 💀💀

as a rising streamer, of course you have Twitter, and your subtwt isn't toxic – due to your personality and stuff, the people you attract to your content are all pretty loving and chill! ofc there's a few bad eggs, but that's just what happens, you choose to ignore those few

but since you've gotten more popular, people finding you through your more popular friends, you've seen a rise of tweets mentioning you, whether it be in general or in the boy's replies

you're glad to be getting more popular, now you can find more people who seek comfort from your content, which was your goal when you started anyway! so it's all exciting! ..at first.

rise in people means rise of people in the toxic 1%, and also means rise of haters or people who just don't like you

sometimes you come across tweets like "why does y/n feel the need to be around ranboo, tubbo, and tommy? leave them alone ffs, she got her fame she wanted, she can leave now 🙄✋" and "we get it, girl streamers are less talented so you needed to leech off they boys' talent! like is she done yet or??" or occasional tweets saying something about shipping – which is against not only your boundaries but all of they boys' as well.

the replies being full of "use s/n, using her real name is breaking her boundaries! and if you have an issue, then don't watch the streams she's in, dickhead!", "you could just mute her name on here and not follow her twitch, you're being overdramatic for no reason", "hey hey, remember that s/n checks her indirects", "ew, deactivate", "aw, are you scared bc a girl is better than you at gaming? aw you gonna cry??", etc, makes you feel a bit better, but the punch from the original tweet lingers

after seeing a bit more, you saw the majority of the haters – and weird people – you saw the root of it was probably because you were so affectionate towards you friends and just being around them in general

so, it'd be best to stop, right? don't participate in as many streams, stop being so affectionate in general, to be honest you were already quite anxious that you being so "clingy" was annoying, the hate just solidified it

so you have a plan in line, the hard part is executing it :(

to start, you stopped complimenting them as much on stream, and the late phone calls lessened, and those became more and more noticeable before you "got too busy" to be in as many streams as you used to

I feel like ranboo would notice first and try talking to you before bringing it up to tommy and tubbo, but when you replied "oh! yeah I'm good dw :)" he knew it was a lie and went to the others

"what do you think is going on?" "I'm not sure" "whatever it is, do you think this is why she stopped being so affectionate? I miss it"

then it clicked for tommy while ranboo and tubbo still tried to figure it out

"do you think it's family problems?" "no, last time they has family problems they became more clingy and their phone calls were more frequent, not-" "wait wait wait"

tommy checked your social media platforms, of course they had more followers than before

"what? tommy?" "I think it's more of an online hate problem" tommy leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face before looking over at the discord call as the two others made sounds of shock, "yeah, this started after her platform got bigger and she got more well known" "..you're right" "how- how do we fix it?" "address it on a stream?" "no, no, not yet, I think we should contact y/n first, see if she'll tell us if we're right or not" "I could try? last time I texted her she responded pretty quickly so maybe that still applies?" "yeah, tell us if we're right or not and we'll continue from there"

so ranboo texted you, making sure to form the text to get to the point but not scare you, he knows how anxiety inducing confrontation, especially from friends, can be for you

you didn't know exactly how to respond, would it be better if you lied? or would the truth be better?

after a few times of the "..." appearing and disappearing on ranboo's screen before you message of ",, yeah, that is the reason actually ;; I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought it'd be better to just distance myself :(" sent through

the boys on call could hear the frown in ranboo's voice when he sighed and said "oh" "were we right?" "just a second"

ranboo replied to you, reassuring you that you don't don't have to apologize for not telling them and it isn't your fault, making sure to remind you that you can come to either him, tommy, or tubbo whenever you want

"yeah, she got hate, and I guarantee that if we go through her indirects then we'll see what exactly happened, we may have to scroll a bit though" so they searched around on Twitter and found some, then tubbo spoke "do you think she would want to join call so we can figure out what to do to fix this?" "I can text her, though maybe we can more of distract and comfort her tonight? we can talk about the hate and stuff another time" "yeah yeah, I think that's a good idea"

so he texted you to see if you'd like to join the call, you accepted and ended up playing video games with them – mainly Minecraft servers – for a few hours before tommy had you and ranboo (assuming you're in the US or close) sign off to get some sleep (if you're in the UK or close, he had you and tubbo sign off and then signed off himself for some sleep)

the next day you guys hopped back on call to discuss how you guys would fix it, as well as them giving a bunch of positive comments about your affection :)

you guys decided on a serious stream from Tommy's account, it was either tommy or ranboo's account, but you guys chose tommy bc he's not anxious about turning off donos and other things

you guys discussed that the hate you were getting was uncalled for, and the weird comments were to be stopped immediately.

"I think that's everything? y/n, anything else?" "yeah I think that's about it, thank you guys so much!!" "alright, one more thing before we go- chat- chat, if you have an issue with y/n being in our streams just don't watch our streams! if you don't like y/n we don't want you here" "tommyyyy :(( (/pos)" "wait wait!! chat, if anyone asks or is being rude either spread clips on the stream or screenshots of the tweets we posted!! we want to make sure that everyone – even those not watching the stream – are informed!" "alright, bye chat, I better not see any more y/n negativity!!"

there wasn't negativity in chat when you went to check btw :)! it was in emote-only bc they thought it'd be the best thing to do and most of the chat was filled with hearts and other positive emotes! <33

now whenever hate stuff it posted the replies have screenshots of either tommy, tubbo, or ranboo's tweets, links to the VOD, or clips, stating the most important and the tweet is usually taken down within a matter of hours – days sometimes

and after that everything was back to normal!! you started complimenting them again, telling them how much you love them again, etc etc! you even got back into late calls :)

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landinoandco · 3 years

Note

Could I ask for a Max Verstappen request?

Where you get all excited to tell him you’re pregnant and it doesn’t go well. Could you make it super angsty

Of course you can :) here you go, I hope you enjoy!

Max Verstappen x reader

Warnings: angst but with fluff at the end

Word count: 2.2 k

Requests are open...

Baby, the future is ours

At last the summer break had rolled around again, to the relief of the Formula one drivers and crew, they had 3 long weeks ahead of them to fill with whatever they deemed stress-free or relaxing. The subject of activity depending on person to person - most sane folk tended to stick to a holiday to Greece or if you were an adrenaline junkie like Daniel Ricciardo jumping out of planes or BMX biking. You had lost count of the times Max - your boyfriend - had rushed in to tell you about all of the exciting things his best friend had gotten up to as of late.

You and Max had decided to take a break and travel to a cosy, quiet part of Italy - to escape the press, the stress and most importantly the eagle eye of social media. It would just be you and him for a few weeks before reality brought you back to Milton Keynes in the shape of Christian Horner and his motley crew.

You and Max had met in 2018 at a gala event Redbull had hosted, Pierre Gasly - being a close friend of yours - had introduced you two and to say the pair of you hit it off instantly was an understatement, whether it was a mixture of the Dutch meets British humour you had no clue but you weren’t one to complain. A few months later and Max had asked you to travel around the world with him - you did so willingly and life had been nearing perfect ever since. Of course you had your ups and downs, where the universe seemed to really test not only your love for one and other but your patience. A few arguments had shown you that both being hot-headed never ended well.

You were sat out on the balcony, a book in hand and looking out into the Italien countryside. Max had left for a run and to explore the local village, leaving you, your thoughts and your growing baby. You were pregnant - you had taken the test just before flying out, this meant that Max wasn’t aware. You hadn’t told him yet and you had no clue how you were going to. As it turns out telling your partner you were pregnant was easier said than done - ironically.

You and Max hadn’t had the baby talk yet - you had but only along the lines of: “one day, when we’re older and married and driving isn’t the main priority anymore.” Those were Max’s words. He wanted to be there for his child, to watch him or her grow, to see every milestone but most importantly to be a good and nurturing father.

There was part of you that was slightly worried because you just didn’t know how Max would take it - you couldn’t keep it in any longer though. You had to tell him. There was another part of you that was excited - from a very young age you knew you wanted to have a family of your own with the person you loved the most. Call it childish naivety. At this point in time, you were ready to become a mother - well as ready as anyone ever could be.

Placing your book onto the table, you made your way into the kitchen, grabbed a glass and filled it. Sighing loudly as you leant onto the countertop.

“That was a loud sigh.” A voice called out from behind you. You recognised it instantly. Whipping your head around, you saw Max standing there, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Chuckling, you hit back, “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

Rolling his eyes, he made his way over to you and wrapped his arms around your middle, placing a sweet, chaste kiss onto the side of your head. Leaning into his warm embrace, you let out another long but content sigh.

“Seriously, what is it with you and sighing today.” Max uttered, his lips still against the side of your head.

You went to move forward, out of his welcoming embrace. You knew what you had to do.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Instantly the atmosphere changed, you could feel Max stiffen behind you. Maybe the tone you chose to make that comment in was too serious but it was now or never.

“Haha, which of your friends is pregnant this time.” He quipped jokingly, trying to break the tension.

Instantly you knew the way the conversation was going to end, a pang of hurt felt in your stomach. You squeezed your eyes shut, catching your lip with your teeth. He stood there with an air of innocence and unknown, concern dancing in his eyes - he went to reach his arm out to you, to offer that encouragement.

You braved the words that came out of your lips, “Me.” You almost whispered. Time seemed to slow. Max dropped his arm and instantly took a step back.

“Pardon.” Was the only thing he could force out of his mouth, his throat seemed to close up and his hands went clammy. He definitely heard you the first time but he wanted to make sure it wasn’t a night terror. A bad dream he had failed to wake from.

“I am, Max,” You said again, your voice wavering.

“Oh.” He stated, his face drained of colour, his mouth set in a straight line.

“Is that all you have to say.” You swallowed thickly, your eyes swam with tears. You had a hunch this was how it was going to end but it didn’t stop is from hurting the way it did. You had hoped he would have proved you wrong, to have wrapped his arms around you and to have spun you around. To have laughed. To have cried. To have shown a little more excitement to the fact you were now carrying his child. His first child.

You moved past him and sat down on one of the wooden chairs, rubbing your hands over your face. He was still stood there. His eyes fixated on the view out of the window. No emotion read in his eyes. It was almost like you had hit the ‘off’ button. He tapped his foot and made a clicking noise with his mouth before turning around to face you - meeting your gaze.

“How long have you known.” His voice was hoarse.

“A couple of days before we flew out.” You answered him, moving your face back to rest in your hands.

There was a pause. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner.”

You took a breath, looking him dead in the eye. “Because I knew this was how you were going to react.” You didn’t trust your voice at all, you also didn’t know whether you wanted to scream at him or cry in the corner.

“Right.” Was all he said. Still stood there like some awkward teenager after a rather large telling off from their mother.

“Is that all you have to say to me?” You asked him, nostrils flaring. You were allowed to be angry, right?

“What do you expect me to say.” He rounded on you, his voice raising more than was necessary. Tears had spilled down your cheeks, you didn’t have the energy to fight back. As soon as he realised the effect this was having on you, he went to move forward again, his eyes softening instantly. “I’m sorry - I - I shouldn’t have raised my-”

“Get out, Max.” You stated lowly. By this point, you had stood up, shuddering away from his desperate grasp. He knew he had made a mistake. You knew he regretted it, the moment the words had left his mouth.

“Get out?” He repeated quietly, his voice cracking, you could see tears glazing his vision.

“Just - please, go on a walk - come back once you have more to say to me.” You spat.

“But - But I already have more to say-” You cut his rambling off once again.

“Please. Max.” You insisted, your voice betraying you again. “Go.” You whispered.

Max stormed out of the door, ensuring to slam it so hard the chandelier on the ceiling swung precariously. You sank back into your chair and let out a loud sob, unable to hold it in any longer.

Max was mad. Not at you, that would be unfair. He was mad at himself. At the world. At everything actually because at this point why the hell not. You were pregnant - don’t get him wrong, he was over the moon. He was going to be a dad.

It was too soon.

He still had his full F1 career ahead of him. A promising and long F1 career as a matter of fact. He wanted a baby to be his main priority and he wanted to share those one in a lifetime moments with you. He knew there was no point in being mad, it wasn’t like they were in a position where they couldn’t have a child. They had plenty of things to offer, a nurturing home with parents who were head over heels in love with each other and a large family - blood and not - who would be willing to support and love the child as if it was their own. Max really was in love with you. He knew it would be you to mother his children in the end, he just didn’t think it would be now.

He reached for his phone, went into his contacts and pressed on the number that read the name: “D.R new phone.” Whilst it wasn’t adventurous like many thought it would be, it saved the confusion from calling a number that no longer existed.

Daniel picked up on the second ring. “Hey dude, how’s it going?”

“Not good at all, Dan, not good at all.” Max admitted, his voice wavering once again. He explained the events that had happened a mere 5 minutes ago, the way he reacted and the way he left you. Hurt and alone.

“I’m not going to lie to you, mate, you’ve fucked up big time.” Dan spoke after what felt like a loud silence. After all, Daniel knew you just as well as he knew Max.

“I know. I know I have, do you think I’ve been selfish?” He asked, his tone full of raw emotion.

“Yes.” Dan stated simply, “I think you have been, especially since she even told you this is how she thought you would react. How much stress do you think she had been putting on herself? Come one, I’ve taught you to be better than this.” Daniel paused, Max could almost hear him place his thumb and ring finger onto the bridge of his nose. “You know, just as well as I know, she knows it isn’t the best time. Her becoming pregnant is very much a two person job, I think it’s time that you go back to her and have a conversation like the adult I know you are.”

In that moment, Max was so grateful to have someone like Dan just a call away. “Thank you, Dan. Really. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Alright Mr Father-to-be, don’t be going all soppy on me now.” Daniel joked, returning back to his normal teasing. That was the best thing about Daniel, he was quite useful when you needed him to be.

“You can count yourself on being the godfather after that.” Max added, a large beaming smile plastered onto his face.

He heard Dan let out a loud laugh, “Go on, leave me be. Good luck, mate, let me know how it goes and when the time is right tell her I say congrats.”

“Of course, mate. Thank you, again.” Max muttered, looking back in the direction of the villa. After he hung up, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and ambled slowly - working out exactly what he was going to say to you.

Once he had opened the door, he called out to you. “Babe?” He heard a sniffle in response. You were still slumped on the chair in the kitchen, shooting daggers at the cupboard opposite.

Max sat opposite you, reaching out for your hand. Grudgingly you let him take it, you blinked and he took a deep breath before a large, beaming smile crept onto his face.

“We’re going to be parents.” He rubbed the back of your hand, speaking tentatively. You nodded, your lower lip trembled. Max stood up, still keeping a hold of your hand as he gave it a slight tug, indicating that you should stand up. You made your way into his embrace, his arms wrapping securely around you, tucking your face into the crook of your neck as he rocked gently side to side, burying his face into your hair. He then moved his hands to cradle your face, wiping the stray tears away before peppering your face with feather light kisses.

“We’re going to be parents.” He repeated, a little louder and to this you let out another sob, laughing as he picked you up and spun you around.

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish.” He said, as he wrapped you back up into his arms. You smiled into his chest. In that moment, you couldn’t be happier. It was like all of your childhood dreams had come true. In that kitchen stood your new family, mismatched and sometimes a little bit broken but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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alleunwalk · 3 years

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tokyo revengers idol au hcs part 3 that no one asked for AGAIN here’s part 1 and part 2 to get a better understanding. this is what the members would be doing alongside their idol promotions+ what they would post on social media toman tbh these guys are all just so damn funny on their own that they would constantly be invited to comedy variety shows. maybe perhaps doing something similar to seventeen or wanna one where they even have their own variety show on youtube (ie. seventeen’s-going seventeen series or wanna one’s show on mnet) mikey-he would post basic food pics like of his parfaits or taiyaki but also it’s rare because he’d constantly forget his password. however on important days he’ll post long emotional and sentimental posts that hit you in your feels thanking his members and fans always. he also has a youtube channel posting random funny vlogs. draken- he has his own personal soundcloud to upload solo mixtapes/songs feat diff members. posts photos of his bikes and different tattoos he would be getting. responds with 1-2 words to fans during fansigns or ig comments but like mikey, once in a while, will also write heartfelt posts thanking everyone. baji- his ig feed is filled with animals + dance practice vids. also has his own soundcloud too. trolls his members by commenting on their stuff. “delete this u ugly mf no one wants to see this”. takemichi- very chatty, (sometimes too chatty where he’ll end up accidentally spoiling their next album info) and interactive on social media to his fans. tries his best to respond to most comments or ama ig stories questions. posts a lot of selfies and photos of his members. king of fan service. chifuyu- beautiful photos of the sky a lot on his ig (in canon he wanted to be a pilot :,) ) along with cute soft selfies. (which baji and kazutora troll and comment being like “damn....u ugly AF!” “lmao stop pretending to act cute u loser” kazutora- his ig is filled with pure chaos. just pics of him catching his members slipping (sleeping photos where they’re drooling or have their eyes slightly open or making ugly faces behind the scenes). also has photos of cursed memes and memes made by fans. he’s a literal enigma. mitsuya- very wholesome ig photos- lots of photos of his family, group photos, sometimes cool artsy edited selfies. occasional photoshoot photos. hakkai- ig is filled lots of #ootd photos and occasional photos from his modeling or acting gigs (he’s the visual, duh!) gets a lot of sponsorships from big brands. pah-chin: has a joint youtube channel with peyan. they do silly challenges but will sometimes post dance videos (feat. baji) since they’re the main/lead dancers. fans love him because of his “matter-of-fact” responses that are funny without even trying. (example- fan comment: omg i love u guys soooo much u guys are the best in the whole world!!!<333 toman OUTSOLD!. pah-chin: idk about best in the world but we’ll just take “the best in our neighborhood” for now i guess. thanks.”) peyan: joint youtube channel with pah-chin. at fan signs mikey has to warn him to chill out cuz peyan will accidentally yell and scare fans without meaning to, but he’s just really excited to meet his fans is all ^_^ angry: posts a lot of wholesome photos like mitsuya (selfies with smiley) and writes a lot of motivational sweet captions cheering fans up and reminding them to always be happy :,) smiley: joint youtube account with angry. smiley does a lot of prank videos and angrys just usually in the back like 🧍‍♂️... he also does tiktok- he would be doing all the dances, memes, and trends. inui: ok hear me out, i mentioned before inui has similar vibes as cha eunwoo so i’d figure his ig would give the same vibe as his (iykyk). since he’s the other visual he would be getting a TON of acting and modeling gigs. idk why but i feel like inui would be a great actor (his facial expressions during tenjiku arc, the range!). actor of the year. gets a lot of skincare commercial deals too.

black dragons shinichiro- photos of bikes, cars, and photos where hes pretending to do a cool pose but his members (+mikey) would troll and comment “LAME!!!!!” “why tf do u look like that?” “hey leader, it’s not too late to delete this now bestie :)” does fun ig lives. on variety shows as a joke his members tease him there as well. really great at fan-service and pulls the whole “pretend boyfriend” scenario with fans (the delusional fans are gonna act up if he keeps this up...). taiju- (if shinichiro did not exist in this au OR if you wanted both in the group) photos of him at the gym, photoshoot photos. inui- similar to if he was in toman, his ig would just be a lot of cool and cute photos of him from behind the scenes of dramas or photoshoots. a soft visual king. occasional selfies with koko and bike photos. kokonoi- has a personal youtube channel but he would be Drowning in sponsorship videos all from high-end designer brands. he’s just casually flexing that PPL in his vlogs. ig feed is a lot of #ootd photos or pics taken with inui. him and inui would be makeup brand ambassadors or faces of brands (ex: like jennie from blackpink represents chanel). in this case kokonoi would be the face of fendi (he wears fendi slides in the manga cover) and inui would be the face of jimmy choo (his heels in the manga cover looked like jimmy choo but i could be wrong.. but u know what i mean)

tenjiku izana- pretty leader has a very artsy ig feed. extremely photogenic like inui. has photoshoot photos and candid pose photos. acts in dramas time to time (gg second male lead syndrome). kakucho- posts gym or dance practice videos on his feed but he posts rarely because he’s just too busy or forgets he actually has an ig. loves commenting on takemichi’s posts “haha no wonder ur called baka-michi!” as a joke. kanji- posts gym photos but it’s rare because he always forgets his password. ran- the other visual. he would be modeling for high-fashion brands and go on runway shows. also definitely gives off actor vibes (he would be constantly casted in dark action movies hahaha). loves giving fan service. rindou- in contrast to his brother, rindou when it comes to fan service, he loves trolling fans. also he’s really good at drawing a line between fans (y’know, keeping the delusional ones in check...which means he ‘friend-zones’ them but it’s for their own good tbh idols need to remind people their boundaries). has a youtube channel where he just posts random dance practice vids and occasional vlogs. also comments under his brothers ig posts “you look stupid af in this wtf”. on variety shows people find their brotherly banter hilarious. mutou- posts gym photos, also really awkward selfies (he doesn’t know what his angle is lmao). another member who also reminds fans of their boundaries and keeps it real. (sanzu always likes his photos though and hypes him up in the comments). sanzu- shy baby. constantly following mutou around. posts a lot of cute selfies and random pics of shogi stuff (he tags mutou in it of course). during fan signing/autograph sessions they love putting cute headband props on him like this or this.

bonten because this group’s concept and aesthetic is mysterious, mature, artsy, gloomy, and dark they will take this concept to the grave. (minus a few exceptions) they are invited to variety/talk-shows but never make an appearance because they want to keep the air of mystery around them. (it’s a good marketing technique). mikey- does not have any social media. he does have a private account to lurk around but no one knows what it is. kokonoi- has a youtube channel but it’s locked and you have to pay to get into it. posts super short vlogs and teasers. thats it. (the ultimate scam! but their fans love them too much to notice). lots of sponsored #ootd posts on ig. kakucho- he would be modeling ONLY high fashion brands and high end editorial places. his instagram is just his exquisite and expensive modeling photos whether it be candid backstage photos from shows, candid runway walk pics/vids, pics of diff photoshoots you name it. doesn’t really comment much. ran- visual. similar to kakucho- modeling ONLY high fashion brands and editorial places. instagram is filled with modeling photos but also some artsy scenery pics he took. rindou- posts short artsy dancing clips (like modern dances in black&white filter) on ig. sanzu- since he’s the other visual, he also posts a lot of his modeling/acting photos on instagram. also pretty chatty (he’s the exception) on social media and loves teasing and trolling fans. posts with a lot of random cute emojis on everything. “just ate lunch and now im off to practice hehe 🍜🍇🤟💃🤠🧚‍♂️💞🦋” no one really knows why he uses random emojis but it’s just endearing lmao. kanji- no social media at all. akashi- manager....or if you made him the rapper in this au then he too would also not have any social media.

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evakuality · 3 years

Photo

Matteo - Episode three

Social Media - There’s so much of it this week! At the time, I only followed a couple of accounts and then only saw the rest when it was posted to the tag. I think I’m grateful for that. This is absolutely overwhelming, the sheer volume of things the characters were putting out. But it’s also really nice that we get all this normal teenage life stuff. It really does allow an immersive ‘this is real people doing real stuff’ feeling to everything. Particularly people like Kiki and Sam who have little to do with the plot. It keeps them real and alive through a season where they were a bit more sidelined (and I love that Matteo and David’s little trip later on keeps them alive in a way that doesn’t overpower Amira’s season - this is a really clever way for the producers to keep fan favourites active without having to shoehorn them into places where they don’t belong). I am also a bit concerned about some of this though - how on earth did the boys not get in trouble for filming the dancing girls and posting it to social media? At most schools I know that would have resulted in some serious discipline action. However, the most fascinating thing about the social media is the party at the end of the episode. Sara didn’t start posting much on her stuff until much later in the evening (the reason this post is so late is because I was waiting to watch through all the social media before I worked with it - and there was so much for so long that I was able to notice the patterns in it in a way I didn’t at the time) and then Leonie took over and it was interesting what she chose to show and how non-perfect it all was compared to what Sara was trying to do before she got really incapacitated. I know it’s not technically part of this episode but the text string between the two of them the next day where Sara panics over how Matteo might take seeing her in such a sloppy drunken state is very telling. She really really wants to put on a show to make sure he’s not turned off by her not being ‘perfect’ - again, this is all very subtly done but there’s a really strong push to show how much of what is put onto social media isn’t a real and true depiction of who we really are. And of course that’s most important for Matteo himself. He’s still very actively putting on a front and it’s only partly to try to cover for the fact that he’s interested in boys not girls. He’s really not happy or at ease with pretty much any aspect of himself, but he’s also not really willing to show it to anyone. Except David. Which we’ll see as we go through the clips.

Clip one - Matteo’s shelf in the fridge is so sad! Someone (a parent maybe?) should really be making sure he has food and is looking after himself. We touched a bit last episode on food and nurturing and what we see here is Matteo very much not nurturing himself. Even more so than Sara, he has no care for his own wellbeing. Also he’s relying heavily on other people (Hans in this case) to do the heavy lifting for him. It’s also a major contrast to the playful, if disgusting, sandwich he made with David. Here it’s really just about putting something in to his body and there’s no thought for anything other than basic survival. Which is, tbh, a good metaphor for Matteo’s approach to his life at this time. The chat with Mia again veers close to things that are difficult for Matteo - he’s wearing David’s beanie, trying to get that bit of closeness to him, but then Mia starts asking awkward questions about why the kitchen was so terrible and what Matteo was up to and it’s all a bit tough. Matteo tries again to deflect and lie to cover his tracks. Which... is he ever going to learn? This lying is forever getting him in hot water when he’s caught out. Jonas even calls him out on it, basically saying ‘if you’re going to use me as an excuse then give me a heads up first’ showing that he has Matteo’s back, but is incapable of helping him if he won’t help himself. At this point, of course, Matteo has closed off because there’s a lot he finds too hard to talk about but Jonas is already giving those hints that he’d be there for Matteo if only Matteo would let him be. But at least Mia’s pushing serves one purpose - Matteo makes contact with David again and they manage to connect and get over the little hitch that David’s ditching caused. Both are still hiding bits of themselves from each other (David more so obviously), but both are quite happy to make these connections and are comfortable with each other. That David responds is so nice; it sets up the dynamic so different to the original and Matteo is much more secure in David’s friendship than Isak was with Even at this point just because of this. Then of course Matteo does the gay test, and it’s clear he already knows but he’s just sort of trying to work through some things. It leads to some of the things he says later that are quite unfortunate (both to the boys about the dance teacher in this episode and to Hans later about the ways to be gay), but I think there’s a genuine desire to figure out what gay might look like rather than any truly homophobic stuff. societal expectations and stereotypes and our own internal biases mess with us big time!!

Clip two - There’s not a lot of difference with the dancing girls clip, but it’s nice to see David again and the interactions between him and Matteo are a lot more natural than with Isak and Even. I guess because these two are in the same year, it’s much easier to pass off knowing each other and so Matteo really is a lot more casual than Isak ever was. The tone of the ‘why does he have to be so gay’ is different here too - Matteo’s much more low key and subdued when he’s called out on ‘why do we insult gays’ and he’s apologising fairly quickly. It really is much more obvious that he’s trying to work out what ‘gay’ is than trying to distance himself from the idea of being gay. He has a lot of issues and a lot of stuff to work through but it’s entrenched in an entirely different way to the og even though the words are almost exactly the same. The power of acting and body language!! Of course, this makes sense for both characters too - Isak and Matteo have different experiences and different lives and so they each act in a way that makes sense for them. I’m super impressed that the same conversation can look so different - both actors are very very good.

Clip three - This scene with Matteo and Sara works much better for me than the one with Isak and Emma. But perhaps that’s because Sara is allowed to be much more of a rounded character rather than a plot device. We can say all we like (and Leonie is so clearly right there with us) that Sara needs to wake up and see how badly Matteo is treating her, but the way this is developing makes it clear why she thinks and acts the way she does and we can have a lot of sympathy for her even while rolling our eyes at how obviously this is not working out. This right here is the moment where Matteo really should have said ‘yeah sorry, this isn’t working for me’ but he chooses not to because he still wants that security of having ‘someone’ if the thing with David turns out the way he expects it to (eg, David and Leonie being a thing). He wants the ability to hide and say ‘see, there was nothing there, I have a girlfriend so I’m not at all upset that David has one too’ and it’s shitty behaviour and it’s totally unfair to Sara, but at this point Matteo can’t see beyond his own needs. Sara is very clearly not happy with the situation and she rightly feels sidelined and unappreciated but she is still willing to accept his word when she puts those words into his mouth. She’s still invested in this fantasy in her head and she is carefully scripting it so that it goes the way she wants it to. Like last week when she was talking over Matteo to avoid hearing anything he’s saying, here she’s literally telling him what to say to get the outcome she wants. Leonie has quite obviously got a better handle on the situation, but Sara doesn’t want to hear it. Sara, again bless her, is very open about what she wants and needs from a relationship and how she’s feeling. She refuses to take Matteo’s very half-hearted attempt at sweet talking her at face value and demands some accountability. But it’s the very nature of those demands that sets her doom. She tells him what she needs and he gives it to her - only it’s a very pale and weak imitation of what she would really like. He uses her communication skills to play her.

Clip four - I loathe how no-one takes Matteo’s wants and needs into account, pretty much ever. He’s in such a rut of being used to just going with the flow that even when he tries to assert his own wants people straight up ignore him. It’s sad that he allows Kiki etc to basically commandeer his home for their party but it’s very much in keeping with how everything else is going. Last week, Kiki was super irritated because she had a picture of how things were going to go (they would have their event and Matteo would host it) and she couldn’t deal with things not being under her control. I suspect that if Sara hadn’t been with them and hadn’t done the speaking for Matteo, he would have been bullied into doing what she wanted then too. He clearly doesn't want to do this , but at least he uses it as a way to get closer to David. ‘Well, this party idea sucks, but maybe I can get this guy I like there’ and so he goes right up to him and invites him. While he’s quite checked out of significant parts of his life, when Matteo really wants something he’s not scared of going after it. Of course, as we see in later events, this gets him in trouble at times. But for right now it’s nice to see him taking some small control of his life. This is only possible, of course, because he was able to connect with David fairly quickly after he left last week. The fact that they are able to do this is testament to how easily they do understand each other and even while its awkward, this relationship doesn’t have the underlying tensions that the one with Sara does. It’s awkward in a positive way.

Clip five - there’s lots going on in this one. The studying and how little interest and engagement Matteo has with it. The consequent stalking of David on Sara’s account, the flow over into looking for David’s favourite movie, and of course Hans and his intrusion into Matteo’s quiet space again and then his attempt at using grindr. It’s a slow, fairly quiet clip and yet Matteo ends up doing a lot in it. It shows again, I think, just how much he values his time by himself and how much it works for him to be allowed to do things at his own pace. I’ve said before I really enjoy seeing the characters in their own environments being chill and just hanging with themselves. It shows us a lot of how they are. In this case, Matteo moves very quickly from the boredom of the studying to things he has more interest in. Like David. He’s restless and disengaged, using all of his tricks to try to distract himself (playing with plants etc) and then very quickly giving up on what he should do. I like that we get these sorts of smaller, lower key indications of how much David means to him as well. It’s not big grandiose expressions of interest, but he watches the movie because David likes it. He can’t even let himself stare at the picture for too long because it feels like a huge admission (he literally breaks eye contact with it and looks away the way he often does with David himself). It’s in these unguarded moments in his own space that we really see Matteo and he’s a mess, but he’s a mess who really does want connection and to find meaning with someone.

Clip six - We all love this one, right? It’s such a nice moment with David and their almost-kissing is very intense. But there’s a lot going on before that that I also want to look at. First, the way the boys call Matteo a ‘player’?????? how???? That’s his girlfriend????? He is playing her and stringing her along when he shouldn’t, but he’s not playing the field which is generally what we mean when we say this sort of thing. He has one girl and that one girl has made it pretty clear that he is hers. In many ways Matteo would be better off if he was playing the field - then there’s no expectations and he gets a rep as a ladies man. But this works better for him - he can sort of fall into it and follow along with it without having to put any effort in at all. She literally speaks for him, even. I have always found it fascinating how much Matteo keeps to himself in this clip. He hugs the walls like they’re his home and Sara is out there in the middle and there’s such a disconnect between the way they’re both acting. How would Matteo have coped with the expectations Sara outlines about sex had she not got so blind drunk she had to be taken home? It seems like it would have led to something very awkward and maybe she’d have finally got the picture.

Laura's little visit to see Matteo is cute too. Obviously she knows that David is interested and so she checks him out. It’s a shame it’s interrupted by Hans who then monopolises Matteo, but she was quite deliberate in finding him and speaking with him and I love the sibling support. David’s shirt he chooses to appeal to Matteo is hilarious too. The thought process (and the discussions with Laura at home beforehand) must have been brilliant. ‘I always wear black and am mysterious and aloof and cool, but to attract this boy I will wear a white shirt with a stupid picture on it’ - that it does attract Matteo just shows how attuned David is to his future boyfriend. Maybe he’s stalking the instagrams too - the Matteo Monday and Florenzi Friday do suggest that this is something that might appeal to Matteo.

Hans and Andi bother me too. In much the same way that I dislike that Sara assumes that Matteo not wanting sex with her means he’s gay (like? It’s okay not to want sex!! It doesn’t say anything about your sexuality), I don’t like that Hans has talked about Matteo to Andi and allows him to be so forward and aggressively sexual with someone who is very obviously not willing to be out. I know Hans is trying to be there for Matteo and to encourage him to accept himself (I think it’s pretty clear that he knows or thinks Matteo likes guys). But this is a party with all of Matteo’s friends. What did they think would happen? Why did they think he’d react in any way other than the one he does? Hans looks confused when Matteo pushes away and leaves, but why? This behaviour is entirely consistent with everything we know of his character. That it ends in an actual panic attack makes it all much more sad and difficult to watch. Honestly, outing people when they’re not ready is not cool and Hans should know this.

The panic attack itself is so well done. There’s no dialogue and yet we can see very obviously how Matteo is feeling and just how ‘normal’ this is to him. He has a set of behaviours that he follows to try to take the edge off. He throws things (this is his go-to when he’s stressed and he does it a LOT), he tries weed and he finally tries music and sitting by himself, cuddling a cushion for comfort. I know a million people have discussed this at length, but I don’t think we can speak about this clip without at least touching on it. Everything about it is done so well and it all combines to allow Matteo’s feelings to shine through. I love that it’s allowed to happen at a party and that we see very clearly how these things can be overwhelming for characters. I won’t go on anymore, but it’s just great and the acting is so perfect. I genuinely think this small part of this clip is probably my favourite acting out of everything in this show.

And then of course we have the stuff after everyone else has left. Again, a million people have discussed this in a million ways, but I love how this scene again shows how easily they get each other, how good they are at communicating with each other and how quickly they get on the same page. Matteo has no trouble at all saying what he thinks and pressing for information. This parallels Sara in some ways - she is like this with Matteo, making her wants and needs clear and putting herself on the line. Again, this is all very good set up for later on when Matteo finally finds himself in her position and realises just how much his behaviour hurt her because he’s living her side. However, unlike Matteo, David is quite clear and honest back. And that’s why they can so quickly move into a potential kiss. As with Matteo and Sara, there are close ups as they lean into each other, but somehow it feels like there’s more space for them to breathe here. The camera allows them both to be in the frame naturally, whether Sara is often invading into Matteo’s shots. Here, they’re both on board and both want it. I like that Matteo gets a moment to be open and himself after his experience with Andi. It must take a lot of courage to do this after he was so badly affected earlier. Testament to David’s calming presence which reassures rather than pushes, and how honest they are with each other - there’s no way David could miss how relieved Matteo is when he finds out that Laura is David’s sister not his girlfriend. They’re both very brave here - David for telling Matteo he looks good and Matteo for trying to take that next step even after his panic attack. And I think that’s a nice place to leave this. Because that’s already such a lot and this has all already been said before.

#druck #og druck #Matteo - episode 3 #again super long I'm sorry #one day I'll learn how to be concise

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binunus · 3 years

Text

college bf!jinjin

a/n yes yes yes 100x yes, here's the next installment of the college bf!astro series hehe, hope you enjoy it love 😙

{request: Would it be possible to get a college boyfriend Jinjin too?? I super loved the Bin one you did!!!! Thank you in advance 💜}

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 3k

_________________________________________

alright theydies

jinwoo–like everyone else in astro–makes me hella hard and soft at the same time so this is gonna be fun

major: music engineer technology

i saw that one ddoca where he was directing all the members for his song and just !!! grr bark bark

literally a fucking sweetie

one of the kindest people you will ever meet in your life

his face is so gentle, especially when he smiles

and then you hear his voice and you're like woah why is it so deep and raspy hey

and then he laughs or giggles and you're like ahh that looks more like you hehe

roommates with university famous dancer!rocky bc i love rap line

such a good roommate and hyung omg

will always make sure rocky eats dinner or takes a shower before going to bed even though he’s exhausted from dance practice or whatever

always shows off how talented rocky (and the rest of the boys) is

very chill

which is a bit of a surprise to everyone bc one of his best friends is literally myungjun

anyway, how do you two meet??

you're a vocal performance major

coincidentally, the same major as myungjun

oh god so you can bet he really played matchmaker for you two

you and myungjun were doing a duet together for one of your final projects during your second year

and you two were joking around like

damn, we should record this, we sound pretty fire

*cue myungjun immediately calling jinjin*

mj: ARE YOU AT THE STUDIO?? ARE YOU FREE RIGHT NOW??

jin: hyung why are you yelling it's literally 6 pm

anyway, it was spontaneous but you and myungjun end up going to one of the recording studios in the music building where jinwoo very often frequents at

you're like a bit shy, like wtf myungjun you didn't tell me that your friend was cute?? you would have worn something better than sweats and a tank

jin's so nice ugh, just imagine him smiling at you as he introduces himself

literally you melted

his fit? bucket hat, glasses, shorts and a tee

it was so casual, but why did he look so cute??

myungjun convinces jinwoo to let you guys record in the studio

it took him just 10 minutes to set up the equipment and everything

you were just looking at him like ooo looks so professional

sksksk im gross

myungjun goes first bc you were nervous

and yeah duh he was a natural, but you couldn't help but admire jinwoo in his prime

he looked so attractive in the producer chair just like instructing mj in the booth

he didn't even know what kind of song you guys were singing, but he directed him so smoothly so that the best parts of myungjun's voice came out

mj joking around: why's your mouth open, y/n? amazed at my voice?

you roll your eyes: sure if that's what you want to believe

your thoughts: ah haha i was totally not oogling your best friend myungjun, totally not

and then it was your turn to go in the booth

you don't know why, but you were hella nervous singing in front of them–or more so, in front of jinwoo

which is dumb bc you're literally a vocal performance major, you sing in front of strangers all the damn time

but you really wanted to impress him for some reason??

okay, you had no reason to be nervous because as soon as you opened your mouth?? jinnie?? literally awestruck

he's heard a lot of singers, obviously bc he's had to record so many of them

but you?? your voice?? a literal siren for him–but in a good way!

your singing entranced him

and then you looked out of the booth to see him just staring at you and your throat went dry

your voice cracked, you've never felt more embarrassed in your life

you: ah! oh my God I'm so sorry, that was horrendous

myungjun's laughing at you, what a nice duet partner

but jin just smiles bc you're whining and hiding your face in your hands

you were so cute??

jinwoo: it's okay y/n, you were doing really good. let's try that again, okay?

he was so sweet about it, ugh you were blushing

you end up recording again, and this time you made the smart decision to close your eyes and just try and focus on the lyrics

and shit, if jinjin wasn’t already a bit interested in you before, he definitely was now

because the way you looked completely immersed in the song and lyrics

his heart skipped like ten miles i dont know

myungjun just knew from the way jinwoo was staring at you

you didn’t get his number from the first meeting

bitch you were too shy, you just squeaked out a “thank you, hope myungjun and I weren’t too much of a bother”

jin: hyung’s always a bother, but you were totally fine

mj: hey!

anyway you leave with a bit of regret, like you should have at least gotten his snapchat or social media or something

or make a dumb excuse to try and see him again

ah but mj was already ten steps ahead of you and jinjin ;)

when you get back to your apartment, there’s a text from myungjun like

“come back to jinwoo’s studio tomorrow for the final mix of our duet”

you immediately jump at the opportunity: okay! what time?

damn could you be any more obvious??

this time you actually tried to look cute, like you were going to see jinwoo again, you couldn’t look like a rat

you get to the studio at the time myungjun told you and you’re like?? oh it’s just jinwoo here?? maybe myungjun’s running a bit late??

jinwoo: oh hey y/n! wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon

you: ???? myungjun told me to come here to listen to the final mix...

jinwoo being shy: he didn’t tell me about that haha

you’re embarrassed, about to turn on your heel and book it

maybe also thinking of murdering myungjun on the way back to your place

but then jinwoo grabs your wrist before you could leave

and you literally felt a spark at his touch, it made you jump a little bit

jin: you can stay if you want–I mean, you came all this way already, I’d be a bit of jerk if I just make you leave

you: I-uh-don’t wanna intrude

he just shakes his head with a smile: you’re not, don’t worry. besides, I’m actually working on your song right now, you can tell me what you think

and that’s how you end up hanging out with jinwoo alone in the studio

you were obviously very awkward and nervous at first

what do you say to him? should you ask him questions? what if you’re bothering him? god you don’t want to sound like an idiot

jinwoo noticed your nervousness––and yes he was nervous too, but he just hid it better than you

he hands you a pair of headphones: here, listen to what I have done so far

you’re like pleasantly surprised??? you and myungjun sound so professional?? like damn put this out on spotify or something

you’re smiling and jinwoo just feels like a huge sense of relief like phew okay you like it so far

and then you two just get to talking while he’s still mixing

you ask him how he got into music and his major and all that fun stuff

you find out that jin’s always loved music and the actual producing aspect of it, he hopes to be a music producer one day and he just flirts with you like

“hey maybe one day you can sing my songs on stage”

and you’re like ??? me???

jin: you have one of the best voices I’ve ever heard, it would be an honor for me

ugh jinwoo stop im blushing

you two end up ordering food and eating at the studio bc he promised himself that he wouldn’t leave until he finished your duet and you didn’t wanna leave him alone tf

you and jinwoo exchange numbers this time hehe

before you leave, he’s like “this was nice y/n, you should come over and keep me company more often :) if...you want of course”

you: i’d be happy to! just text me any time :)

internally you’re screaming like yes !!

you can bet that you start spending a lot of your free time with jinwoo in the music studio

sometimes it’s just you two

sometimes myungjun and their other friends make appearances too

and that’s how you get introduced to their friend group

myungjun to either of you: you’re spending a lot of time with jin/yn lately ;)

about a month after meeting each other, jinwoo asks you out on a date

with the encouragement of astro

it was all expected let’s be honest

cliche first date at the movies, but like you both loved it

wouldn’t be surprised if astro was spying on you two, sitting like a couple rows behind and watching your every move

but shhh if they did, you and jinwoo didn’t notice

the transition from liking each other → going on dates → making it exclusive went so smoothly

you and jin were hooked on each other after the first couple meetings that it just seemed so right

myungjun will never stop saying that he’s the reason why you two are in a relationship

you and the other boys grow very fond with each other–particularly sanha

and that was important for jinwoo bc the guys are like his family and it’s basically a dream for him that his partner and friends are close too

sanha is his child do not @ me

so by osmosis, sanha becomes like your baby too

the two of you literally coddle sanha, it’s cute okay

they all go to you and jin for relationship advice sksksk

bc to them, you two just seem so made for each other :’)

the !! sweetest !! most perfect !! boyfriend

will walk you to class in the morning even if his class is all the way across campus

and you’re like: jinwoo it’s okay, i can see you after this class, you might get late!

jin being pouty: i just wanna spend more time with you :(

im in love with jinjin

loves holding your hand, even when you two are in the studio and he’s mixing something for class or just for fun, he’s still holding your hand

whenever he makes a composition, you’re the first person he shows

really values what you think of his work

vice versa, when you have a song you need to sing, you always ask him to listen to you first

you don’t sugarcoat with each other when it comes to music

will ask you to sing literally all the time

jinwoo gives the best hugs :’)

it’s just so comforting, one of his hands strokes your hair, while the other one rubs your lower back

you know what kind of picture im creating?? yeah

ooooof baby you go with him when he gets his tattoos

you hold his hand through it the entire time even though he probably didn’t feel much pain from it

and like his big ass chest tattoo??? are you drooling??? 1000%

when jinwoo realizes that you get ??? turned on?? by his tattoos, you bet he begins to walk around shirtless in your apartment

is this my transition to down and dirty? yes it is

your first time with him was mmm rough and it’s all thanks to that chest tattoo

you and jinwoo have been steamy before, like makeout sessions and dry humping, and oral (both receiving), but the actual action of fucking? y’all haven’t done it before that night

ofc he’s being a little tease and walking around shirtless

he was always touching you though, not explicitly, but like say you were washing the dishes, he would walk past you and brush his hand passed your waist and he’d whisper in your ear like: sorry baby excuse me

and like he’s done this the whole day so just at one point you lose it and literally push him against the wall and start making out with him

ah he knew you were gonna crack

and god you were so turned on at this point that you were not having any of that soft shit, like you needed him to fuck you asap

jinwoo fucks you so hard your first time together that you couldn’t walk the next day

hehe

oh boy he likes to bite

yes he’s the sweetest, but in the bedroom?? lowkey a bit of a masochist

it’s okay bc you don’t mind a little bit of pain ;)

daddy!! kink!! i dont make the rules

will call you baby girl/boy

he’s the dom, like will very rarely let you dom him

very private with your sex life, you won’t catch him teasing you in public with other people around

and if you try, like say if you whisper daddy in his ear or something while you are hanging out with the guys, oof it’s gonna be a rough night for you

alright but studio sex

has he recorded your moans before?? or you two having sex in the booth?? yes

debatably, studio sex happens more than bedroom sex, but that’s only because most of jinwoo’s time is literally in the music building

jinwoo dirty talk !! with his sexy ass raspy voice !!

ugh jin moaning in your ear what a good girl/good boy you are for him while he’s just fucking you

will slightly degrade you?? like yes you are his cocksleeve

but he also praises you a lot during sex too

ooh you better hope you don’t have a gag reflex bc he’s all into throat fucking

favorite position is actually missionary, believe it or not

he loves seeing you come undone for him

eye contact during sex?? yes

like he will make sure you’re looking at him when you cum, periodt

favorite place to cum is your face oops

also very much into cockwarming

most of the time, your sessions are rough just bc your vibes are like that

but when they’re soft and slow?? and like making love??

literally the most passionate man ever

jin makes it all about you and your pleasure when he’s being gentle

after care is full of kisses and cuddles and I love yous

always makes sure you drink water after having sex

stay hydrated kids

and jinwoo’s back to being the bestest boyfriend :’)

first i love you was when you two were in bed together

you both just woke up and were cuddling

jin was watching the video you sent him of you practicing this one song for an upcoming performance

and you were still drowsy, so you were literally drifting in and out of sleep while he was listening to your video

and jinwoo was just awestruck, he’s always been in love with your voice from the get go, but the way you executed this song? even though it was just practice? his chest was constricting

you’re like mumbling when the video stops: i still need to work more on the bridge, my tone gets a bit flat during it, right?

and he just smiles softly at you even though your eyes are closed and you can’t see him

he thought it was perfect already, you were perfect already

and he just calls your name: y/n

you: hmm??

jin: I love you

and suddenly you’re awake and meeting his eyes

they were so genuine and serious and full of love, you don’t even hesitate to say it back

honestly not the jealous type, he’s so patient and trusting and knows that you’re crazy about only him

will constantly reassure you about any of your insecurities: body, voice, school, your relationship, anything

jinwoo just has such a calming aura around him that you can’t help but feel like, as long as he’s by your side everything will be okay

the two of you have many deep talks together, especially at night before going to sleep, it’s what makes your relationship so solid

jinwoo just knew that he wanted to marry you, even early on into your relationship

there was no one that supported him more in his dreams, no one that he’s ever truly felt connected with, no one that he’s shared all his deepest fears with than you

and like after a year of dating like he couldn’t picture a future without you in it

he’s a romantic :’)

shortly before graduating, he makes a song about you and he’s actually singing in it

ugh main vocal jinjin rise

and he shows it to you in the music studio where you first met

and it’s about how much he loves you and admires you and treasures you

basically a proposal but not really

and you’re so touched, like literally moved to tears because it was so beautiful

and lowkey he was cringing at hearing his singing voice but you still loved it nonetheless

and afterwards, jinwoo was like: I wanna spend the rest of my life with you y/n, I’m not asking you to marry me right now, obviously I’ll propose to you in a better way in the future, but I’m serious about you and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.

you jump into his lap and kiss him and just keep saying I love you in between kisses

and jinwoo’s all smiley and giggly like: do you feel the same??

and you hit his arm all jokingly, yes of course you do

you just sit on his lap and he’s hugging you while the two of you are listening to more of his projects and jinwoo’s just thinking like wow I love this person so much

maybe the two of you do owe it to myungjun for playing matchmaker

i guess mj can be the best man at your wedding

y’all this was so soft??

but yes jinnie’s the best bf/husband material out there

im in love with him

_________________________________________________

2-8-21

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spidersbane · 3 years

Note

Hello! Can I get MCU, The Hobbit, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. ship? 💚

Appearance: She/her. 179,5cm tall, rectangle body shape. Fair skin complexion with quite a few birthmarks. Dyed brown with honey-red highlights, shoulder-length, straight hair with bangs. The left eye is a mix of two colors – a smaller portion of (darker) greyish-blue and a larger portion of hazel; while the right eye is just a (lighter) greyish-blue. Heptagon face shape with two dimples on the left cheek and one on the right cheek (only visible while smiling). A gap between the upper front teeth.

Personality (good and bad traits): Ever since I was a kid, I was always quite mature for my age – I identify myself as an old soul. I come off as polite and well-mannered to strangers, yet I tend to keep it to myself by being reserved. But, that’s because I have social anxiety and I’m nervous and shy when meeting/talking to people. The only people I’m comfortable with being with my inner circle – closest friends and family. I am usually more “open” with my friends than with my family. With my friends I can be my “truest-self” – I smile more, I laugh more, I feel more accepted and understood. I am the mom and the fashionista of the group. Don’t get me wrong, I am fiercely protective of my family, especially of my mother and younger sister. But, lately, I’ve been feeling like the “black sheep” of the family, Cinderella who’s been taken advantage of. I express my affection for the people I care about in little, but practical, ways. I can be a little stiff when it comes to open, gushy displays of affection. Others turn to me for help and advice. I’m kind-hearted and generous, always ready to help a person in need. Always have been motherly towards children. Very awkward at keeping small talk (usually with people that I’m not that close with). Absolutely, hate speaking in front of a public, and if I do, because of my nervousness, I tend to mess up my words and/or I practice whatever I’m about to say in my head at first. I appreciate the simplicity and am often most comfortable when I’m not getting too much attention from the world. I am sensitive – both to criticism and to others’ feelings (I sponge up the feelings and moods of people and the environment around me). Have a hard time saying no or expressing my true thoughts, feelings. I get influenced by other people’s opinions/thoughts quite hard (I take everything to the heart), that is why I tend to keep a lot to myself (may come off as a little bit tense, secretive, mysterious). I avoid the harsh reality by daydreaming (almost every day) – imagining myself in situations far from my current circumstances. Sort of like a self-escape. I worry a lot and overthink almost everything. I am easily distracted and my attention span can be quite short. I have an internal struggle between my needs and wants. I can lack focus and be indecisive as a result – when I decide on one route, I am pulled in another direction at the same time (“But what if…”, “on the other hand...”). That is why I’m having a bit of a struggle with deciding what I want to do in the future (career-wise). I am easily overwhelmed by pressure and stress. There is a self-destructive side to me (self-critical, lack of self-confidence) that I’m working on by confronting my fears (coming out of my shell). Don’t like taking pictures, or other people taking pictures of me. I feel most content when I’ve straightened out all the details of everyday life. I have a routine, that I follow by mostly every day, and if something small changes in that routine, I start to have a small internal anxiety attack. Also, I like to do things my own way, like, when it comes to cleaning the house or organizing stuff, etc. I get triggered even if people don’t do the laundry the way I do. I guess you could describe me as a perfectionist, clean/control freak. In triggering situations I can be impulsive, spontaneous, quick to act. Quick flare-ups of anger/annoyance when being provoked on my patience. Even when I’m feeling low, I manage to find humor in life and have fun with whatever I do have. Although I tend to bottle things up, I am an emotional person and my emotions are genuine – I love and care deeply and passionately and wish no ill will upon anyone, yet it hards for me to imagine someone falling in love with me or just liking me.

Hobbies, likes: My hobbies are cleaning, writing (re-writing song lyrics, making small notes, writing stories), listening to any type of music, catching up on my favorite films and TV shows, hanging out with friends, going to the cinema, or the club, being out in nature, reading, traveling. I like history, cooking, fashion magazines (or fashion in general), road trips, spirituality, mythology, books, orange juice, previous decades, cottage-core, dark academia.

Overall: Hufflepuff. INFP-T. Bi-sexual. Pisces-Aries cusp sign. “Looks like could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll.” A feminist, support LGBTQ+ community. That’s it, thank you!

hey @pataim ! thanks so much for sending in your request, and thank you so much for your honesty about yourself. like it takes a lot to air yourself out like that, and I admire your strength for it. but also fINALLY a 'Man from U.N.C.L.E' ship! I love that movie and attempt Illya's accent all the time, so this will be fun :)

For the MCU/Marvel - I ship you with Steve Rogers/Captain America !

no one can tell me that Steve doesn’t have a set routine honestly, so let me just get that out there

he seems intimidating at first, esp as a public figure and Avenger, but Steve is nothing but passionate about what he does. so it may clash w your lack of direction, but I could honestly see him envying that a lil bit, like it’s not that you don’t have direction, it’s the fact that you still have a choice in the matter.

your love of history put you in a museum, here you bumped into Steve in a horrible disguise. he struck up the conversation first, and once you got past the whole “holy crap that’s Captain America”, you could actually engage with him in the material and boi was he smitten

he would love to join you when your rewatched your fave things, bc not only is he catching up on more media he missed out on, he’s also getting to know your interests in a way that’s comfortable with you. it avoids all the small talk, but leaves room for discussion after the film/show !

since you tend to sponge up a lot of what other people believe, it’s totally Steve who actually tries to question what you think and what you feel about things. he’s someone who encourages you to have your own opinions and to stay true to those thoughts. so while with him, you can rely on him to learn about yourself, you also gain skills for independence

overall, Steve is super patient, and despite his chaotic job as Cap, he takes comfort in his routine, and would find comfort incorporating a partner’s routine into his life. and as you grow in a relationship with him, he’s patient about teaching you how to be your own person, and helping you learn more about yourself. and while it’s uncomfortable, you grow stronger throughout being with him :)

For The Hobbit - I ship you with Bilbo Baggins !

Bilbo is the definition of introvert, and you're right there with him

not that introversion is ever a bad thing, bc it isn't. but Bilbo is quite content to sit in his little hobbit hole and vibe. like Gandalf had to come find him, ya know. dude disappeared from his own bday.

but anyways. it's not that Bilbo lacks purpose, it's just that he's more content with a quieter life. and it seems like his quiet life would balance you out well! like the Shire is so so chill, and there doesn't really seem to be a lot of pressure on the hobbits to pick a profession. like they just genuinely do what needs to get done.

similarly, Bilbo is the type who seems a little bothered by mushy displays of affection. exhibit a: disappearing from his own bday. like he's much more the type to refill your tea when y'all are reading by the fireplace, which he would totally do w you

it will probs take you a little while to warm up to each, given just how introverted you both are. but when he explains that he has set ways of doing things, then if they're compatible w your ways of doing things, then it doesn't take you long to open up to him

like it'll be a little jarring, but he takes comfort in his routines too. and it'll be an event trying to incorporate both of your ways of life together, but he's willing to do it

overall, yours is a very quaint partnership, built on deep respect for one another. neither of you are going to push the other to do things you aren't into. and y'all just live your best lives together tbh :)

For The Man From U.N.C.L.E - I ship you with Illya Kuryakin !

I love my big Russian spy so much, so this is fun for me

so Illya is the epitome of reserved and generally quiet, so it might take a while to really break down his walls and talk to him. and he's not quite sure what to do with you once you join the team

but, he's playing his game of chess alone, and when you sit down and ask to play with him, he opens up a little more after that

if you're one who get sent out on mission with the team, get ready, bc sometimes those missions require a lot of improvising. but you'd probably be at whatever 'base' was, helping run operations from a more secure place. but Illya and Napoleon improvise a lot, leading to a lot of headaches for you and Waverly

Illya has small bursts of anger, but similar to Gaby, most times, you can intervene and he doesn't get violent. or when he does, he tries to make sure it isn't in front of you. but bc you care so deeply for him, you're there for him in the aftermath. and that's how you show your love for him.

by patching him up if he gets cut, by talking him down when he's angry. and just generally trying to take care of him. and he totally does the same for you, especially if you get sent out into the field

and much to Illya's dismay, Solo doesn't refrain form making jokes about you. but if you can take them in stride, then Solo welcomes you into the team just as well :)

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noyoucantpinmedown · 3 years

Text

Springtime Swap

For this year's Springtime Swap I had to write for @totaldramablueyonder! This was a lot of fun. I've never written Katie and Sadie so it was good to try them out. I hope you like it!

Courtney didn't have friends. Never had. Never needed to. She got along well enough with her classmates to be somewhat popular, and that was all she needed to be named Student Council President.

But then Katie Ayala and Sadie Li joined the Student Council.

Those two were the chattiest girls Courtney had ever known. Whenever they bumped into each other in the hallways, they would keep her there for a good five minutes before she could excuse herself, and then she'd be late to wherever she was going. And Courtney hated being late.

So when she found out Katie and Sadie were being elected, she had to hold back the urge to slam her head against a wall.

But they impressed her. They showed up to the very first meeting in matching pink pantsuits- their outfits were always coordinated. They proposed doing a bake sale to raise money for homecoming, which Sadie made the budget plans for. Katie got half the school to buy something and charmed the other half into caving in and buying as well. In the end they raised a lot more money than they were aiming for. They were competent, and Courtney could always respect that.

"Courtney!" She heard Katie's high pitched voice from down the hallway, always distinct among the murmuring of the students. In a second, she and Sadie were standing by her locker. "Sadie and I were going to hang out at my house, do you wanna come?"

She blinked. "Oh, um...well thanks, but I have a lot of homework to do and--"

"Oh, that's okay, we do too!" Sadie piped up. "We can all do it together."

Shit. "I just--"

"Come on, it'll be so much fun!"

Courtney sighed and closed her locker. "Fine, okay, I'll come." The girls squealed. "But I can only stay until six, okay?"

Katie was already linking arms with her, Sadie on her other side. "Sure! We'll drive you home!"

The three climbed into Sadie's car, where the talking mingled with the music coming from the radio, which Katie had plugged her phone into.

Katie's walls were painted pink, and the white comforter on her bed was so thick and soft it almost looked like a cloud. "Do you guys want anything from the kitchen?"

Courtney sat down on the bed and began taking out her books. "I'd like some coffee, if you have any."

"I want coffee too!"

Katie nodded and left for downstairs, leaving Courtney alone with Sadie. Which was awkward, because while she wasn't close to either of the girls, she got on with Katie better. Sadie went quiet, so she guessed the feeling was mutual. She looked around the room, looking for something to make conversation with.

There were several posters of singers and bands on the walls. Courtney recognised Selena Quintanilla, One Direction and Little Mix among them. The desk by the window had been taken over by a sewing machine, pattern books and other sewing supplies.

"I didn't know Katie sowed."

"We both do. We make or alter a lot of our clothes", Sadie explained. She was laying down on the bed next to her. "That's how we always match. It's hard to find clothes that have both of our sizes, so..."

"That's really smart."

"Okayy, here's coffee!" Katie stepped through the doorway with a tray, which she set down on her nightstand. "I think we should start with math, just so we get it out of the way."

Courtney was worried that they would get distracted and not get any work done, but despite talking as they worked, they managed to finish all of their work, perhaps faster than Courtney would have done on her own.

When they were done, Katie put on some music and sat at her desk. She had brought a plate with cookies from downstairs. Courtney took a bite out of one while she checked her social media. Sadie was doing the same, and humming along to the music. The three weren't talking, but Courtney felt so relaxed. It really wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. The complete opposite, in fact.

"Katie, I was thinking we could use the fabric from the pantsuits to make rompers, or like a cute top and skirt combo."

The taller girl looked away from the shirt she was replacing a button on. "What? But the pantsuits turned out so well! And taking the stitches out is going to be such a pain."

"Well, yeah, but when are we going to wear them? Like, we literally just made them for the Student Council, and the fabric cost a lot!"

Courtney locked her phone and put it down. "I think Sadie has a good point."

Katie sighed, looking over at the open closet where the hot pink pant and suit jacket were visible. "A top and skirt in this color does sound nice. Oh my God, if we work quickly we could wear them to Geoff's next party."

Sadie looked somewhat satisfied before the prospect of a party distracted her. "He's throwing another one? When?"

Of course he was throwing another party. Geoff was the star quarterback of the school's football team, and his parties were infamous. He was easily the most popular person in school- everybody liked him, and he liked everyone. If he had thought to run for Student Council President, he could probably have given Courtney a run for her money.

"DJ told me that two weeks from now, his parents will be out of town. Oh!" A sudden idea hit her. She patted Courtney's knees to get her attention. "Court, you never come, we should all go together!"

"Oh my God, you totally should! You're like, friends with Bridgette, right? I'm sure she can get you an invite."

Geoff's girlfriend was in the volleyball team with Courtney. They sometimes talked in the hallways, and she liked the girl's laid back, yet grounded attitude. "Yes, we're friend...ish, I guess. But my parents would never let me go. And I have a curfew."

That didn't phase Katie. "You can just tell them you're having a sleepover at my house."

Her eyes widened. "Lie to them? I can't do that!"

She had never lied to her parents, not once. She had never disobeyed them, either.

"It wouldn't be a lie, we'd actually sleep over here after the party." Sadie grabbed a cookie from the plate. "Come on, it'll be so much fun."

"Yeah! Who knows, you might even meet someone."

"Oh, stop!" Sadie rolled her eyes at the suggestive look her best friend gave her. "She's hellbent on finding me the perfect girlfriend." She explained to Courtney.

That made her smile. "That's sweet."

"Do you have your eye on anyone, Court?"

She thought back to Alejandro, the charming exchange student who was too much of a flirt and a sweet-talker for her liking. Then to Duncan, which her recoil- she would die if anyone knew she had ever been attracted to him. Finally they landed on the red-haired boy from shop class that had been so helpful during the bake sale. Just a few days before, she had opened her locker to find someone had slipped a daisy inside through the slits at the top. It was a little damaged from having to fit through such a small opening. She had turned around to see who it might have been, and he was watching her from the other side of the hall. When she caught his eye, he blushed as red as his hair then walked away as quickly as he could.

"Please don't tell anyone."

The girls squealed. "No, of course not!"

"Promise!" Katie offered her pinkie finger, and Sadie imitated her. Courtney pinkie swore with both of them, a giddy smile forming on her face.

"Okay, you know Scott? He built the food stands for the bake sale. Tall, ginger hair, a year below us."

"Oh my God! He totally did that because he likes you. I saw how he looked at you when you thanked him."

"Actually..." She told them about the daisy. The girls squealed again, and Katie reached down to squeeze Courtney's hands.

"That's so sweet!"

"Oh my God, that's so cute!"

"You guys think? I know I can come off a bit strong sometimes. He probably thinks I'm the annoying Student Council chick."

Sadie shook her head. "Why wouldn't he like you? You're, like, super smart, and super pretty too! And some guys like girls with strong personalities."

"Yeah, you're gorgeous. He totally likes you back. He'll probably be at the party, you know. He hangs a lot with Duncan, and Duncan and Geoff are super close."

Courtney cringed inwardly at the mention of the school's resident bad boy, but the idea of going to the party was getting more and more appealing. She could picture herself dancing with the girls, and maybe Bridgette too. Letting loose for once. Feeling as happy as she was feeling now. Maybe she could find Scott and talk to him.

She had been so wrong about these girls- not that she'd ever say it aloud. They weren't vapid, or stupid. They were geninuely kind and skilled.

"You know what?" She said, "the sleepover sounds like a good idea."

#springtime swap #td writers #my writing #td katie #td sadie #td courtney

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thatgirlwhowrites01 · 4 years

Text

hot head

part 11 | masterlist

social media au

zuko x reader

this is a very long and fluffy update and I hope it makes up for my lack of posting these past couple days 🥺🥺💕💕💕

Zuko POV

“What is your partner’s name again?”

“Uncle, they aren’t my partner,” carrying a tray of used tea cups towards the back of the shop, I cleared my throat as I set it down by the sink for washing later. “Their name is y/n.” I folded my arms across my chest and faced towards Iroh, a grin displayed clearly.

“You’re telling me that my nephew is doing all this work for a friend?” he laughed.

“I’m doing all this work because you’re letting us stay in the loft,” my hands pointed to the stairs, “Besides, I owe them a favor and they’ve never been to Ba Sing Se, it’s the least I could do.” Which wasn’t a complete lie. I did owe them a favor, after everything I did I’m surprised they even responded to my initial dm. The only problem was keeping uncle out of the loop. He always had a knack for knowing when I was being sneaky and although it was a sense that came in handy when I was a child, as a fully capable adult it has now become annoying.

“What do you plan on doing tonight?”

“Um, I’m not too sure, I’m just planning on showing them the main spots of the city and then maybe some dinner.” I tried to play it off cool, but inside my heart was pounding at a rate far from healthy.

“Just make sure when you guys get back to lock the doors and wash any dishes you use, I’ll be in around nine in the morning tomorrow.”

“I will, don’t worry.” I watched as uncle took the shop key off the hook on the back wall. He tossed it to me with a wink, “Have fun Zuko.”

The shop was now mine for the night and I still had a couple hours before I had to leave to pick y/n up. There wasn’t much left to do since I had been here all day to help with customers and cleaning. I finished setting up the loft early this morning, it wasn’t anything super fancy. A couch that could be folded into a bed was pressed to the side wall and a nice mattress layed towards the back. I set up some fairy lights and a couple lanterns placed on tables around the room to add a relaxed ambience when lit tonight.

I can’t explain the feelings I’m having, nervous? Excited? I’m not sure, it’s hard to say. When Azula first told me about y/n she described them as this ugly, manipulative, mean person. But they aren’t like that at all. I remember when I first watched their video, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of them. They were beautiful, and the way they laughed made me feel warm inside, something I haven't felt in a long time. Azula insisted they were bad, and unfortunately I believed her. When they retaliated against me I didn’t know how to act, it filled me with rage because no one ever retaliates against me. I genuinely did hate them for a while but when the private investigator told me about what happened with their mom I wanted to take everything back. They had already been through so much and I was taking away something that could potentially work out really well. Despite what happened in the past I want this night to be a sort of ‘peace treaty’ if possible.

Y/N POV

The circumstances weren’t exactly ideal.. Zuko, the one who bullied me relentlessly with his twitter fingers was going to be my tour guide of Ba Sing Se for the night. The warnings from Katara and all my other friends wouldn’t leave my head and I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that they were right. I did forgive too easily, but it was too late to cancel and plus I’ve never been to the city before.

I packed a small bag with a change of clothes and a couple miscellaneous items, being unsure of what the night would bring I made sure to pack some pepper spray too. I don’t think Zuko would try to hurt me, but being in a big city with one of the biggest jerks I know I had to come prepared.

It’s nearing five in the afternoon and my nerves are starting to get the better of me. Anytime now Zuko would be here and I’m starting to realize how awful this situation is. I could taste blood in my mouth from chewing on the inside of my cheek, “fuck,” I said while reaching for my phone. Almost on instinct my fingers swiped to Katara’s name in my contacts. The monotone ring droned on until I heard her pick up on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Katara, I’m freaking out, Zuko’s gonna be here at any moment and I don’t know what to do,”

“Hey it’s gonna be okay, are you sure you want to do this? I can always just make up an excuse for you so you don’t have to go?” I can tell she desperately wants me to say yes, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“No it’s okay, I just really need someone to talk to until he gets here,”

“Okay, I promise it’s gonna be alright. You’ve got a whole army waiting up tonight to make sure you’ll be okay. Sokka, Suki, and Toph are gonna come over to Aang’s house with me and we’re not going to sleep until you’re back at wherever you’re staying.”

“Okay,” I laughed “If I don’t send updates by 11 send someone”

“Will do, Toph said she’s been ready to practice some knew boxing moves”

“Can’t wait,”

Our conversation went on for several minutes until I heard a knock on my door. “Coming!” I yelled and quickly ended the call, rushing to grab my bag. My hand curled around the handle and realization hit when I opened the door to see Zuko holding a bouquet of sunflowers. I smiled “Are these for me?”

“Yeah, I figured it’s the least I could do to make up for stuff.”

“Thank you,”

He seemed different than in his videos. His face was softer and his voice less harsh. I followed him to his car which was, to put it lightly, much nicer than my mini-van. I’m not even a car person but it was polished black with dark tinted windows and red rims, definitely something I could see him driving. He opened my door, allowing me to slide in and fully appreciate the car. Leather seats accompanied a ‘new car’ smell and the front displayed a touch screen for controls. Shitty person or not, he rides in style.

After pulling away from my apartment the car fills with a low volume of slow RnB, “I’m not too sure if you have anything specific in mind that you want to do, so I figured I’d show you my favorite parts of the city and grab something to eat, maybe some drinks?”

“That sounds great to me,” I smiled.

The rest of the car ride was silent, but with the mix of the sun close to setting, RnB, and the scenery I didn’t feel the need to talk. For a Friday night the traffic wasn’t that bad, we worked our way through it easily and stopped outside of a tea shop.

“This is my Uncle’s shop, there’s a loft on the top he said we could use for the night.”

“That’s so nice of him, I’ll have to come back sometime to say thank you.”

I waited behind Zuko as he fiddled with the door. Now that I am standing next to him it was clear how muscular he was. The tight green shirt fit snug around his shoulders and biceps, his back muscles flexed while giggling the door handle. Finally it popped open and my focus changed to the space we were entering. It was cute and tiny, tables lined the walls and the bar had several stools flipped on top. I followed Zuko as he climbed the stairs to the loft.

“I washed and made the bed for you so you don’t have to worry about bugs or anything,” Zuko pointed to the bed. I walked over to throw my bag down on the mattress “This place is so adorable, I love it!”

“Tea is my uncle's passion, when I was younger and he first started this shop I worked for him. This place is practically my home away from home.” He sat down on the couch facing me.”

I nodded, taking the place in. Fairy lights danced around the ceiling twinkling in a way that was mesmerizing. “Are you hungry?” Zuko asked.

“Is that even a question?” we both shared a laugh, “Come one, I know the best place for some pho.”

***

“And then, I practically threw up all over the place!” I laughed uncontrollably through my mouth full of pho, “I can’t believe that, in the middle of church?!” Zuko’s comment made me laugh even harder. “I swear! My mom was so mad it took everything in her power to not to drag me out by my hair!”

The night was going incredibly well. After a couple awkward ice breakers we somehow got on the subject of disappointing our parents and now we were the loudest table in the restaurant. Zuko was so much easier to talk to than I expected, and we had a lot in common.

“Excuse me, but would you and your partner like any dessert?” I was too busy laughing, I didn't even see the waiter approaching.

“Oh, they aren’t my partner.” I couldn’t help but snort which in turn made Zuko start laughing again, “I think we’re ready for the check if that’s alright” he said with as much composure and he could muster. I waited until the waiter was out of sight, “Partner” I snorted again. “Hey, the guy was just trying to find out if you were single,” I rolled my eyes at Zuko’s comment. “Whatever..”

“It’s the truth! I bet everytime you go out you’re bombarded with people trying to get with you!”

“Mhmm for sure, but I only grace them with attention if they can guess my favorite color.”

“What’s your favorite color?” Zuko stared at me, rolling his lips to hide his smile.

“Why would you want to know? Are you trying to gain my attention?”

“I just want to make sure I know who I’m dealing with, they say you can learn a lot from people’s favorite color you know..”

“And who exactly is ‘they’?” I asked while crossing my arms.

“I prefer to keep that a secret.” He said while mimicking my stance.

We laughed together again at the stupidity of our argument. The waiter came back with the check and I reached for the cash I brought but before I could even get it to the table Zuko handed him a few $20’s telling him to keep the change. Warmth rose to my face “Thank you, I could’ve at least split it with you,”

“No worries, this is your trip and I wanna make it special.” he smiled, “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.”

We began walking the silent streets of Ba Sing Se, I admired all the little shops along the way. There was so much to do here and so many different people to meet. I think I have fallen in love with the city. When we came upon a small turn Zuko asked me to close my eyes.

“Why?” I smiled, I didn’t really care for the reason but I enjoyed teasing him.

“Just do it,”

With my eyes closed he grabbed my hand. I felt a jolt of energy race through my body. His hands were warm and calloused and much bigger than mine. The same warmth I felt at dinner returned as I tried suppressing my smile to no avail.

“You’re gonna love this.” he said, I could almost see his grin in my imagination. As he guided me I could hear water splashing and turtle ducks quacking. I was so excited I almost opened my eyes. Eventually he stopped me, “Can I open my eyes now?” I asked, wanting to know what he had led me to. “One sec,”

He shifted behind me, I could tell he was standing close because the heat radiating off of his body touched the back of my neck. “Okay, open.”

I was greeted with the sight of a beautiful fountain lit from all around, I felt like I had entered another world. It was so beautiful, the lights reflecting off the water made it even brighter. “What do you think?”

“Zuko, this is so pretty. I love it”

“I’m glad, this is one of my favorite spots. Especially at night.”

“I can see why,”

He made his way right next to me. We were standing so close our fingers grazed each other. I smiled at him nervously, unsure of what to do. “Do you want to feed the turtle ducks? I’ve got some bread”

“Yes!!” I said while practically running towards the animals in the fountain. I sat on the ledge which was a bit wet but not uncomfortable and Zuko took a seat next to me pulling a bag out of his pocket. He handed me a couple pieces to throw into the fountain and I wasted no time throwing it in.

They swarmed the area close to us splashing water as they ate. Zuko and I krept closer and closer together, if I moved my head it would bump into his shoulder.

I felt his hand fall on top of mine and I looked up. His eyes looked into mine and fell to my lips, the tension building had me leaning closer. His hand came up to gently cup my cheek while my eyes fluttered closed. Our lips met with a heat, my breath caught in my chest due to the sudden sensation.

The kiss was slow, but short. This was better than the kiss Haru and I shared back at Aang’s grandparent’s house. This was electric and made me feel something. We pulled away, my forehead falling on his. I could feel my heart beating through my chest.

This felt right.

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#prince zuko imagine #zuko smau #zuko x reader #avatar the last airbender #zuko imagine #atla imagine #atla smau #prince zuko smau #atla #prince zuko

186 notes · View notes

imomomi · 4 years

Note

Dating headcanons for the black jackals since they're the best team?

Bokuto:

Needs someone who knows how to have fun and be serious when appropriate.

He’s a lot more mature as an adult than he was in high school and takes a lot of responsibility for his actions and their effects on others, so I think he’d look for someone with the same level of emotional awareness as he has (aka Akaashi)

Total goofball and a lot of warm dates.

I feel like he’d be the type to be very affectionate in public and talk about his s/o a lot.

Posts on social media about the two of you all the time.

Will point at you if you’re in the crowd (expect this a lot)

Hypes you up when ur feeling down and in general tbh

Astumu:

I honestly feel like Atsumu’s the type to talk about his s/o a lot but whenever someone mentions it, he gets embarrassed

Lots of banter, expects you to keep up and dish it right back if he goes too far

NOT AN ASSHOLE

Honestly, probably incredibly aware of who you are as a person and what your goals are aka super supportive

Huge complainer when something isn’t going his way

Might get caught up in his own career at times, but dials back when he’s called out on it

Lots of cuddles, I feel like he’s the type to always be touching his s/o whether it’s like an arm over the shoulder or a full on hug

Will get awkward if someone tries to point it out

You guys shit talk about work/school/whatever all the time, to the point where you have inside jokes about everyone and everything

Kiyoomi

Lol, I’m like an expert at this point

This is a private relationship with a capital P

Only your close friends/relatives really know ur dating.

Lots of late night dinner dates where the restaurant is almost closing and it’s just you two there

Both of you always leave the house at the same time

Regular texting throughout the day, just little things: complaints, asking how ur day is going, memes, that kind of stuff

I feel like Sakusa is the type to see something you like and just buy it, not because he needs to, but he just thinks about how happy you’d be

Hates going on away trips b/c it means leaving you alone for a while, will FaceTime at any free moment

Hinata

I’m so sorry, but I cannot picture Hinata in a relationship (like I’m sure he’d be a fantastic s/o, but I have first-yr hinata ingrained in my mind and Idk how to do that)

#ask #anon #Idk if im happy with this but here it is #headcannons are always so weird for me to do #sakusa kiyoomi #bokuto #miya atsumu

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onlynight-onlylight · 3 years

Text

The only Sun I know

Words: 6,6K

Pairing: Jung Hoseok / J-Hope x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Slice of Life

Summary: You've been friends with Hoseok so long for naturally love him more than friends should. You always try to keep it low because he is the center of everyone's attention. He is everyone's sun.

Note: This story sits on my draft for a while. I wish I can finish it sooner and post it on his birthday but I failed haha. Hope you like it :)

The precious Saturday. It has been three months since my first busy weekend. After working at the new place, I have to let go my leisure time on Saturday for work. If it isn’t for Hoseok, who will brightly encourage me on the way to work, I’ll curse every single bad word internally every time.

H: I have additional class this morning. Wanna meet up after work? Y/N: Sure. But I’m craving the spicy udon near the station, is it okay? H: Sounds delicious Y/N: Wait for me there, I’ll be done in 1 hour H: Nah, I’ll come to you He is everyone’s friend, he is “The Sun”. He is being very nice to others so it’s not hard to fall for Hoseok. I’m his best-friend and that’s not an exception. Even worse, it’s the main reason why I’m falling hard for him. He doesn’t need to know, the world doesn’t need to know. Maybe one or two close friends have a very heavy doubt on our platonic relationship. I find Hoseok sits in the corner of my office’s reception area. Some people take double glance to him while he is doing nothing. Indeed, a glance won’t be enough to assure you that you are seeing a very attractive man. Hoseok has a special aura around him. He’s like the sun that shines so bright. He can make a gloomy day better with his smile. His caring nature leads all sunflowers look only at him. Tragically, I’m one of his sunflowers. “Sorry, something’s came up right after I turn off my computer” “It’s okay. Your reception’s sofa is very comfortable for waiting” says Hoseok with his signature smile. “Still, I’ll make it up for you later. Let’s go, I’m hungry” I say while trying to make pitiful face. He stands up and puts his hand on my back. He chuckles and whispers, “let’s go, I can’t let my favorite girl starving.” *

Hoseok's words leave a great impact on me. I try to not minding them before but they keep messing with my head. Am I hearing right? Did he mean it? Or it's one of his habit from teaching dance to little girls? "Where did you find this restaurant? This is delicious" "Instagram" “Oh really? I still find using that app confusing” I look at him in disbelief and shake my head. Hoseok rarely uses social media but once he posts something, it always receives good feedback. He has a lot of fans out there. “Do you want me to teach you? Think it as an apology of making you wait longer” “I don’t want it if you count it as the compensation of my time. I have another wish to grant, you know” He stares at me for a while. There’s something about this expression of him that I cannot read. The emotion on his face feels so strange even after knowing for a long time. This face shows often recently but I can decipher what’s the meaning behind it. “Okay, okay. I’ll teach you for free” He lets a small laugh and goes back to his udon. “Do the others contact you to hang out tonight?” I ask before taking a spoon of my meal. “Yeah. And I said I’m going if you’re going too” “Hm? Why?” “I’ll control my drinks when you’re around. You remember that one time that the others cannot keep up with me and end up calling you in the middle of night? I don’t want it to happen again” “Ah... that time…” Hoseok’s tolerance of drinks is quite high but he never drinks many. I remember he said that it’s either making him sleepy or angry. And that one time was the angry one. No one stops him from taking too many drinks and lets the scary Hoseok appear. Another Hoseok’s side that rarely be seen, even by myself. “I don’t want you to be the one who pick me up when I am wasted” I stop eating when hear him speak. No matter how close we are, I am not his girlfriend, I totally understand that. But why does it feel hurt? “I should be the one who do that, be someone who is reliable. I don’t want to show my bad side to you again” He sends a reassuring smile to me. “I don’t mind though” I tell him in tiny voice, half hoping he hears it and half hoping it disperses to the air. “I know” “So, should we join them tonight?” I look at him again and it only stands for a good three seconds before I look away. “If you want to” “But promise me to take me home” He laughs. He always drives me home when we hang out with friends or just the two of us. He doesn’t need to promise me anything to be honest. “Ah, you still like the triple chocolate cake, right? My students give me some this morning. Want to go to park to eat that like usual?” I smile widely at him and nod enthusiastically. He remembers small things I said without thinking. Just like how I remember the small details about him. This just reminds me why I fall in love with him again.

“I will never refuse free chocolate cake”

We spend few hours on the park, watching the Hangang river flows. Many people come for picnic today, some the others are just couples enjoying their dates. And here, me and Hoseok, just two friends sit together looking at the scenery. I eat the cake slowly, savoring the sweetness of the chocolate. Hoseok plays some music that fit the mood. To be honest, we did this million times to feel awkward. I think he takes me out almost on every Saturday. “Is it good?” “So good! Are you sure not want to try?” “Looking at you eating it deliciously makes me want to taste it” he answers with a smirk. I stun for a moment and realize that he is waiting. I try to look unaffected. I cut the cake and direct the spoon on his way. “Then, say ah” Hoseok moves to sit closer. It becomes unnecessary close for feeding him a spoon of cake. I glance to his lips that are inch away from the spoon. I gulp the non-existence lump on my throat before my eyes back to his. He gives me a very sharp stare that makes me holding my breath. He takes my hand and brings the spoon to his mouth. He lets his tongue out to clean the trace of the chocolate on the corner of his lips. “It’s too sweet” he whispers. “Oh yeah?” I whisper back, matching his voice. “Yeah. And it makes me craving to taste something else” His eyes drop to my lips. I never had such a big urge to kiss him like this before. I push his body and he fall flat to the grass. He lets out cheerful laugh. “Why? Do you think I would kiss you?” he asks in between his unstoppable laugh. “Ugh. No” I make a face to make it believable. “Oh? I’d love to do that though” “Who are you? What did you do to my Hobi?” He lets out louder laugh. He sits with both of hands on the back, holding his weight. “I’m your Hobi, baby” “No freaking way. He won’t joke around like that” “Isn’t this Hobi more fun?” You look at him in disbelief. “No, this Hobi is more annoying. Just back to my Hobi quickly” “Okay, okay. I’m back to your beloved Hobi again now”

Hoseok and I arrive at the bar and restaurant 30 minutes late. We originally want to arrive later but decide to go after continuous calls from Jimin. He can be super annoying and whiny if we don’t do what he wants. We sit next to each other in the end of the table and watch the others go crazy. “Hope, raise your glass for me” asks Jimin. “I’m not drinking today, Jimin, sorry” “Y/N, you don’t mind if he drinks a glass of beer, right?” I’m taken a back when Jimin asks me. Why Hoseok needs approval for drinks from me? Does Jimin know what Hoseok say to me this afternoon? “I don’t mind but I have no power to decide that” “Oh no, Y/N, you have so much power on him than you know” “Jimin are you drunk already?” asks Hoseok with straight face. “Maybe… a little?” he answers then laughs. He shifts his focus to Yoongi now. I pretend to take Jimin’s words as silly jokes in his drunken state. I don’t want to dwell on him or Hoseok’s words today. It’s just weird.

“I heard someone asking you out again?” asks Jungkook to Hoseok while whirling his glass. “Well…” “And you reject it again?” Hoseok only shrugs. I know that he has many fans, but I never really think of how many women asking him out. I realize just because I never have the courage to do that, it doesn’t mean the others are like me. “It will be mean for her if I accept her sincere feeling when I don’t feel anything at all. She deserves someone who likes her back” “That’s just your excuse, isn’t it?” “Aw, are you jealous that I am receiving all the attention in the dance academy?” Jungkook laughs. He shakes his head then look at me. “I don’t need that. I only want attention from the girl I like” He looks back to Hoseok with a smirk on his lips right after finishing his sentence. He puts his innocent smile and back to me again. “How about you, Y/N? Are you seeing someone?” “Change your target already?” ask me to Jungkook jokingly. He puts down his glass and put his chin on his right hand. “Date me” I look at him as if he grows another head. “Date me if you’re not seeing ANYONE” “What do you mean JK?” Hoseok’s tone becomes sharper and colder. I really don’t know what happen to Hoseok today, but he seems different. “You two always go together, other people may get the wrong idea and think that you two are couple” says Jungkook as if challenging Hoseok. “Jungkook” I warn him. He looks at me then smile. “Since I know the truth that you’re not couple and not even dating, I can ask you out, right? It’s not a problem, right, Hope hyung?” They throw daggers to each other by eyes. I’m screaming on my head. Why should I be in the middle of this? “It’s not something to be joke around” “I’m not joking. I like Y/N” “Don’t even think about it” “Hey…” I try to stop them. I put my hand to block both of Jungkook and Hoseok’s eyes. They start talking like I’m not sitting in front of them. “We’re not here to fight, okay? I’m not dating anyone. Period”

It doesn’t take too much time for Hoseok driving me home as the bar is not really far. I try to keep my curiosity as long as I can. I keep checking on his face, making sure that he’s no longer angry. He insists to accompany me to the front of my unit’s door like usual. Right before I push the password of my door, I turn to face Hoseok. “Did something happen between you and Jungkook?” “No, nothing happened” “Really?” “He just likes to get on my nerves. He’s happy to keep picking on my ego” “You two fight like kids” “I need to match my enemy’s mental age to win” he shrugs.

I decide to not asking why they’re dragging me into their meaningless quarrel but it seems Jungkook succeed to make Hoseok mad. It’s impossible to know the reason. No matter how close you are, Hoseok tends to keep small secrets from me, especially his love life. Sometimes I heard it from Jimin or Soojung but they made it like it’s not something to worry about. They always point out that Hoseok rejects all confession. I don’t think I can keep my expression hidden even if I try but luckily Soojung an Jimin never say a thing. I also know the fact that most of sweets he brings to me are gifts from his admirers. They don’t know that Hoseok doesn’t like those things at all. He’s the perfect opposite of my sweet tooth.

“Oh, don’t forget about Jiwoo’s baby shower next weekend. I have to bring you home to keep being Jung Hoseok” “You exaggerate it again” “Y/N, you have to hear them threatening me every time I don’t give the exact answer” “I still haven’t found suitable gift for Jiwoo’s baby, but I’ll come for sure” “Your presence is the gift” “I don’t buy that” “You really need to acknowledge my mom and Jiwoo’s obsession for you now. They love you more than me”

I laugh to his reaction. He pouts when comparing his family’s affection toward me and himself. His dimples are gone but I know he’s not really mad. Both me and Hoseok are family-oriented people. We love to spend the whole holiday on our parents’ house. We always make at least one day free to visit each other house just like tradition. Somewhere between those visits, I often delude myself and pretend that we are couples.

“I start to think you have to thank me every time I persuade them for your favor” I reply, then start inserting the password to my door. “Oh… so you are going to be like this, huh?” he asks when the door is open. I think he’s back to another Hoseok I meet this afternoon. I hear the different playful tone on his voice. I keep the door open for Hoseok, let the option to coming in or leaving on him. He closes the door and follows me to the kitchen area. “You’re going to team up with those women and leave me alone?” “Of course. They give me more food than you” I answer him with giggle. I open the refrigerator to take two bottles of water, one for me and the other for Hoseok. I close the refrigerator’s door and turning back. Before I can hand him the water, Hoseok puts his hands on the door. He cages me and makes me glued to the only the electronics behind me. “Is my time not enough?” “What?” “Don’t you know I spend most of my free time with you than anyone?” “And if I do?” Hoseok narrows the gap between our faces. I grit my teeth, put my poker face to him. I know he’s just teasing me. His eyes down to my lips the second times today. I can smell his cologne. The smell alone can make me not thinking straight. He moves an inch forward and whispers on my ear. “I’ll show you more” I’m still processing his words when he abruptly moves back and pats my head. He takes his bottled water and back to the door. “I’m going home” He waves and disappear into the night. “I hate you Jung Hoseok”

I take a day off today as Jiwoo request Hoseok’s and my presence one day before the actual event. She says she wants to have quality time with us before being busy with the guests tomorrow. She treats me like her own sister for the last two years. I still remember when Hoseok asks me to help him out. He wants to make surprise event for her sister’s wedding. He often brings me to meet his family to carry out the plan. And since then, I become the additional member of Jung family.

Hoseok calls nearing the assigned time. He will drive us all the way to Gwangju. “Are you ready? I’ll be on your door by 5” I look around to make sure my belongings and Jiwoo’s gift are all set. “Yes, I just need hands to bring it down” “I’m at your service, my lady” he says before hang up.

Not too long after, my apartment door is opened by Hoseok. He is one of three persons I trust the most to know my password. Until today, it always helps me when I meet urgent situation. Just like three months ago, when I can’t do anything and stay on the bed. I can’t ask my mom to travel from Busan to Seoul or ask Soojung, to cancel her presentation for an important client. “Are you sure you’re not moving into my parents’ house?” I punch his upper arm lightly. He laughs and raise both of his arms that are full of my things. “I can’t come empty-handed. I know you’ll say ‘your presence is enough’ like always. But I like doing this for your family, Hobi” Hoseok just smiles at me then shrugs his shoulders. “Then I guess you’re the perfect daughter for my mom and I’m the bad son”

I’m trying to not read things that’s not even exist in his words. But I can’t help but blushing, imagining to be the in-laws in Jung family. I wonder if he does this to other girls. I know better that he doesn’t have any intention to lead me on, but the others might not know. It may be the reason why so many people fall in love with him in the first place.

As expected, his family welcomes me with big warm hug. His mom cooks many dishes includes my favorite. She says it’s the special menu of the day. Hoseok helps me save the desserts that I bring to the fridge to keep it in shape. Jiwoo kidnaps me as soon as the small talks over to her room. Her husband and the others only chuckle and let us do our things.

“I miss you! We can’t meet often since you’re busy” “I know, I know. I’ll make it up today. We can talk about everything until we can’t keep our eyes open” Jiwoo looks more beautiful than she already is. It must be the happiness aura around her. I envy her to be so pretty, having lovely family and marriage. And soon, she will become a mom. “Is he still being dumb?” she asks. I can’t help but laugh. “He is your brother and you’re a mom-to-be so I banned you from bad words” She looks don’t care and rummages to a big box in the corner of her bedroom. She takes out some piece of clothing and brings it to the bed. “You two are just the same. Everyone can basically see the hearts shoot through your eyes when looking at each other” She gives me a blue long dress and mumbles ‘try this’ before I can reply her words. “It’s just you. I won’t deny my feeling after you force me to confess to you that time. But I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same” I say right after walk out from her en-suite bathroom. “No. He’s just being dumb because he doesn’t show it you. Mom tells him to be kind and maybe you’re afraid that he treats you just like others. But honey, I never see him giving that longing gaze to other women” She instructs me to pose a little then takes few pictures before asking me to try another dress in yellow. “Don’t be like that please. Stop planting those ideas to my mind” She takes more pictures before saying “then I will go to my little brother to open his eyes” with a smirk. It reminds me how Jung sister and brother resemblance to each other like twins. “You look really good in these one. Wear this when you go out with him, okay? All of these are the new items from my brand, and of course you’re the first one to have it.” “I think I love you more than Hoseok” “You should” We talk endlessly about her plan to have baby clothing line and about my busy work life until someone knock the door. Hoseok face comes in the view and asks us to join for lunch. Jiwoo walks first and Hoseok waits for me. “You should change your last name to Jung” “Maybe I should” He holds my wrist, stopping me from walking. He looks at me in the eyes, searching for answer. “You do want that? To be part of my family, the Jungs?” His questions silence me for seconds. “I almost mistaken your question as marriage proposal, Hobi” I leave him alone and go to his mother. Taking the usual seat across Jiwoo and acting like nothing happened. I can feel his burning stare on me when he comes. It quickly subsides as Jaebum, Jiwoo’s husband engages him in conversation. I sigh in relief. I actually regretting my answer but there’s no way I can take my words back.

I’m trying to help as many as I can when the guests arriving. I make sure everyone knows where to get their food and drinks. Hoseok’s mother drags me to a group of middle-age women on the table near the window. She links her arms to display our closeness. I can see one particular lady scanning me from head to toe. I introduce myself without mentioning the relationship I have with this family. I’m still trying to read the situation. “Is this Hoseok’s girlfriend? No wonder you keep bragging to us” says a lady in red. “She’s really pretty, right? I’m really happy to having her as my daughter soon.” “They will get married soon?” asks the lady in white blazer. “They have to. They are in the perfect age for marriage” answers another lady that sits across. “Hoseok’s used to be crushing on my daughter” says the lady who scans me earlier. I feel the hands on my arms tightening. “Oh, you must be Minah’s mother. I heard the full story of his childhood crush from Hoseok. It’s around 4th grade of elementary school, isn’t it?” I show her a smile. This particular smile I use when I’m working. The one that screams ‘business only’. “Elementary school? I thought it’s in high school!” says the red lady. “Me too. You talk it often like its a fresh news” adds the white lady. “Minah is very beautiful, I’m sure she has many fans since early days and Hoseok must be one of them.” I try to blow her wounds better after the other ladies teasing her. Her face becomes red a little. “Sure. And Minah is now happily married to a successful businessman” Hoseok’s mom smiles brightly knowing she wins. I think this battle has been around for a long time. I will thank Jiwoo later to fill me in last night. She warns me of some guests that particularly annoying. If it’s me, I will not invite them but this is Jung family. They’re too kind to do that. “So, when will this marriage happen?” “We decide to meet the wedding planner after Jiwoo’s delivering her baby, so we’re just enjoying our dating time now” I surprise myself for easily lying to everyone in the table. It sounds too good to be true. It feels like happiness is a breath away. I wish it’s not a lie while the reality says otherwise. I start to feel the nausea coming up. Hoseok’s mom put her left hand on top of my right. She smiles at me, making me feel better. “You two can take your time, no need to rush”

I excuse myself and go for a drink. I think I have enough for lying today until Jiwoo comes with a woman beside her. “Y/N, have you met Minah? She is the daughter of Yoo family. Minah, this is Y/N – Hoseok’s girlfriend” “Oh, you are the infamous Y/N? I’m glad to meet you here” “Me too. I only hear about your beauty.” She is the real beauty. Standing here with Minah and Jiwoo makes me small. “Where’s Hobi?” ask Jiwoo. “I haven’t seen him in the last 30 minutes. Maybe he goes to the reception” I say while keeping the act. “We should call him so we can start the highlight of the event” says his sister before calling him by phone. “Ah, there he is” tells Minah.

Hoseok comes and walks to our direction. Actually, I have been avoiding him for the last 24 hours and making Jiwoo as my shield. I try to not be alone with him and pretend to be busy for the baby shower. After lying about our relationship, I don’t know how to face him. He stands naturally beside me and circles his arm to my waist. I look at him, trying to mask the shock. Does he know we have to act as a couple? Is this one of the agenda? “Is everything okay, babe?” he asks while his thumb draws circle on my waist. Hoseok drives me crazy. He encourages me to answer. “Yes, I’m just thirsty after greetings the guests with your mom” “You shouldn’t let her alone” nags Jiwoo. “Mom steals her from me, so I can’t do anything” says Hoseok. He tightens his grip. “I guess Y/N is everyone’s favorite in the Jung family” says Minah with a smile on her face. Hoseok’s smile widens. He brings me closer to his body if it’s even possible. His eyes never leave me as I set my eyes back to him. “She is. They never let me alone with her everytime we come. I even lost her to Jiwoo yesterday. But I’ll be the true winner when we back to Seoul, she’ll be with me all the time. Right, baby?” He kisses my temple, like it’s the most common thing between us.

We all back to Hoseok’s parents’ home after the party over. Turns out Jiwoo will have a baby boy. The first grandchild will be a boy, so Hoseok’s parents are excited. Even Jaebum has to wipe his tears a few times.

“I think we should get rest until dinner time. I’m ordering the spicy beef ribs and soup already, so no one cooks tonight” Hoseok’s dad announces loudly to make sure his wife gets the rest she needs. Everyone says thanks and back to their rooms. I can’t go back to Jiwoo’s room like last night as the couple is already going in there. I also can’t go over Hoseok’s room either. I stand awkwardly in the living room before dropping my body to the fluffy sofa. Never thought the two hours gathering will exhaust me to this extent. I barely stay awake until Hoseok sits next to me. “Hey, are you tired?” I nod weakly, can’t properly answer him. “Change your clothes and wash your face, then sleep in my room. I’ll take the sofa” I pout while registering his words. Then he stands and gives out his hands to help me. He shows his lazy smile. “Come on Y/N. Before we both fall asleep here”

I spend a really good time that time flies faster than expected. After the dinner, everyone gathers in front of TV and talks. The fatigue is still hanging on our shoulder that makes everyone calls a night sooner. They leave me and Hoseok alone. I’m not sure what to say but the silence making me nervous. “I’ll take the sofa” “What?” “I’ll sleep here Hobi, you can go to your room” I feel bad as I dominate his bed for the afternoon nap. To be honest, I have the best nap ever on his bed. I usually get sleepy while sitting on the sofa then it’s gone when I arrive on my bed. But Hobi’s smell in his room really soothes me to have a good rest. His smell is so good. I have to hold myself to not bury my nose to his neck every time we sit or stand too close. “What are you talking about? We’re going to sleep in my room, together. Let’s go” He takes my wrist and drags me to his room. He doesn’t use his strength but I cannot refuse, no I don’t want to refuse this. “Wait Hobi-“ “Tadaaa! I move the mattress here when you busy with my family” I feel my face heated. I’m embarrassed by my silly thought. Hoseok lets go my wrist and moves his hand to my back. “I’ll sleep on the floor and you’ll be on my bed. Or if you prefer to have me on the bed with you, I’m not against it” “No, thank you” “Why? I know you can’t stand the cold, baby” “Stop pulling pranks on me Hobi. And try to behave on your parents’ house” “Oh” he gasps loudly. “Does it mean I’m free to do anything with you right after we’re out from this house? Don’t know you this impatient, Y/N” I choose to ignore him and walk away. I still can feel his warm on my back but I shouldn’t focus on that. “Good night Hobi” “Good night Y/N” Silence envelops the room but I cannot sleep for a while. My hearts thumps too loud to be ignored. “Y/N” I hear Hoseok whispering my name. Is he talking in sleep? “I just want you to know that I really care about you. I do everything to show you my heart, to show you my love for you. I always think that is enough. I’m being your best friend is enough. But you slap me with the reality yesterday” He laughs quietly. “I will properly court you and show everyone that you’re mine” My eyes widen hearing his confession. I can hear my heart beats on my ears, it’s so loud that Hoseok might hear it too. I hold my breath. Am I dreaming already? “I don’t need your answer tonight and you can pretend to sleep again” I’m just like deer caught in the headlights. Hoseok tortures me and he enjoys that. I... hate him.

Jiwon and Jaebum head back to Seoul in the morning. They want to visit Jaebum’s parents first to bring the news before back to their own home. We decide to back after lunch as per request from Hoseok’s mom. She says she will pack all of kimchi and side dish so we have enough nutrition to go through this winter. Later we know, she packs the dish in one container each which means we have to divide it ourselves, or maybe store it in either Hoseok’s place or mine and eat together. “Oh, it’s snowing” says Hoseok right after I put my seatbelt. “First snow” I whisper. I don’t have guts to look at Hoseok. People say if you are out in the first snowfall of the season with someone you like, true love will blossom between you. “I’m so lucky” Hoseok’s words make you look at him. Does it mean he likes you too? Or he’s cursing to have a long drive in the rain snow? He smiles and makes your heart beats faster.

Snow falls heavier in Seoul. It will be dangerous to be out on the road longer. Hoseok takes the nearer exit and heads to his place. “I will take you home as soon as the snow stops and the roads are safer than this. I won’t put you in danger” I have no room for protest and sit quietly. Something is shifting between us after last night but we don’t talk about it. “I… I can take the subway. I’ll come to your place later for the food” “Why? Are you scared being alone with me?” “… No” “No? Hmm… You should though” “Hobi” “I’m kidding baby. The last thing I want is you to be scared of me” I muster my courage and ask him the one thing that bothers me the most. “All the things you’ve said last night… is it true?” “Yes”

I just sit in the silence and cannot see him in the eyes. Hoseok’s apartment comes to our view. Somehow, I feel nervous to come inside the building. I don’t know what to do. Part of me is curious what will happen when we arrive at his place. After all this time, I’m not riding this wave of emotion alone. It feels like dream comes true. But the other part is slightly scared. What if we ruin what we have now? Everything crosses my mind at the same time until Hoseok puts his hand on mine. “We’re here” He pulls me out from my bubble. I gasp at his information and he chuckles, seeming delight to see my reaction. “This is not the first time you’re here. We did sleep over numerous times over the years” “It’s… It’s different, Hobi” “Is it?” I can see the glints of fire in his eye. I’m sure it can melt the snow that starts to pile up around us. He picks up my hands and places a soft kiss on top of it. “It doesn’t have to be different unless you want to” My cheeks redden due to his action. World knows I want it to be different. I might have desired his warmth for a long time already. But to face this Hobi, the dominant and teasing man yet still being soft and caring like usual, is troubling me. “Just come in for now” I nod and follow Hoseok. He brings most of the luggage and lets me lead him to his own apartment. There are people waiting for the lift, I sigh quietly. I think I need others’ presence to overpower the heat between me and Hoseok. But the relief I feel doesn’t stay long until I realize the more people inside the small lift, the less space I have. The neighbours get inside first and leave the narrow space on the back for the two of us. He signals me to get inside before making the others wait too long. I stand on the right corner with Hoseok besides me. Right before the doors closing, a woman screams. She desperately asks to hold the door for her. Everyone instinctively moves a step back and make a room for the woman without thinking there are two other people behind them. "Thank you, thank you" I hold my breathe when Hoseok’s body collides with mine. I’m stuck between his hot body and the lift’s wall. I try to calm myself down. I hug him many times. He often to circle his arm on my shoulder. Why this kind of thing makes me nervous now? I grasp the sides of his coat, making him look at me from his shoulder. He gives me assurance smile and turns his body to face me. He keeps our luggage on balance then lowers his face to my level. “They’ll be gone in a minute” he whispers and kisses my head before standing straight again.

We’re the last one to get off. Hoseok walks a step faster than me, not in hurry but he looks very excited. And I feel more and more shy in every step I take. ‘It doesn’t have to be different unless you want to’ His words ring inside my head. Those words bring heat that burns me. I stop for a second and make a firm decision. He is the SUN. He is naturally spread his warmth. But we both know tonight will be different. If he only allows us to feel the warmth from a far till now, I will make sure to taste the fire. His fire. Hoseok puts both of our bags on the sofa and the kimchi container on dining table. I close the front door and follow him. He takes the rest of food containers from my hand and put them away. “What do you want to do now? Snacks or rest?” “You need rest more than I do, Hobi. You just drive for hours. Just sit there, relax, I’ll get you ice coffee” “You know what?” He steps closer to me then puts both his hands on my waist. “The idea of having you here in my home, spending time together and knowing everything about me without me asking is perfection. It’s been so long to hold myself saying it out loud” I put my hand on his chest. His smile widens before closing the gap even more. “Do you have any idea how many times I want to tell every woman who hits on you to get the fuck off of my man?” “I’m all yours. I’ll tell the world that I’m yours. And you… you’re mine” He kisses me slowly and gets me fall into his rhythm. His left hand goes up to my nape while the other tightens on my waist. I pull his neck, keeping him close despite the lack of air. He tugs my lower lips and pulls away. “I can’t stop myself if you’re being like this” “Why do you have to stop when we’re not even start” Hoseok growls and I can feel the vibration. “Oh, baby, I can guarantee I won’t stop, not even for your begging” We really try each other patience, pull the trigger and knowing that no other way of return after this. Hoseok is ready to dive into my lips when his phone rings shatter the sexual tension that fulfil the room. He lets out a loud groan and pick his phone from the dining table. “I don’t know what’s wrong with my family, but they surely like to steal you away from me” He shows me his phone’s screen and it’s written ‘Mom’. It’s a video call so we have to act like nothing happened. I let a laugh while he’s pouting. It’s like someone pour a cold water to our fire. I caress his face to make the pout away. I don’t want him to greet his mom with unfriendly expression. “We still have much time later, don’t be a bad boy” “So, wanting to spend time alone with my girlfriend is being a bad boy, now?” I’m surprised. Girlfriend, he said. “Yes, you’re being bad boy” “Then what, are you gonna punish me?” “We’ll see, Hobi, we’ll see” I peck his lips and push the answer sign.

It’s nearly 8 in the morning when I can collect all of my consciousness. I check my phone and relief to find that the head of my division decides to let us work from home due to the snow. No morning briefing needed but schedule a short report meeting in the afternoon. Seems like the universe helps you after succeeding taming the beast Hoseok last night. “It’s too early for you to wake up, no?” asks him and tries to pull me back to lie on my back. “Thanks to someone I’m planning to sleep all day then wake up an hour before the meeting” “Hmm, no one saying you can just sleep on my bed, princess. Can you feel me?” Yes, I can. That is the one who help my consciousness back faster than any other Monday morning wake up routine I had before. “Hobi… give me some break” I whisper as feeling it right under your center. “Your whisper makes it harder. I can’t do anything like this, can I?” “You can. You survive well before last night, so yes, you definitely can” I try to be stern but he is Hoseok. He is my bestfriend before my boyfriend. He hugs me tight and kiss my shoulder. “I will be easy on you today, my lady, but keep in mind that it won’t happen again” I laugh with him and enjoy his hug for some minutes before the hunger kicks in. Everything seems fall in its place. He is my sun, my home.

#bts fanfics #bts fics #bts fluff #bts j-hope #j-hope x reader #hoseok x reader #friends to lovers

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satoruvt · 4 years

Text

the color of you - you (7)

thank u for reading. this was an amazing ride. i hope this last chapter is as meaningful to u as it is to me.

pairing → keigo takami x reader

word count → 3249

summary → you’re not really dating, so you can’t really be in love with him... right?

song inspo → kill my time and best years by 5sos and the Tiniest bit of eight by iu x suga!!!

this chapter → y/n’s sad, two cute girls, a text, a talk, kisses, a happy ending for our favorite idiots in love.

warnings → super emotional sex at the end lol

It’s taken a while for you to get to functioning level. A while, you think, because it’s been two weeks and you just now are starting to take note of the dirty dishes in your sink and the pile of laundry in the corner of your room that you haven’t washed yet. Because it’s been two weeks and most nights you lay in your bed and sit there and stare at the wall. Because it’s been two weeks and you still replay what you said, over and over in your head, because it’s been two weeks and you have to will yourself not to cry when you see Keigo on news reports on TV or in the local newspaper.

A while. And you’re still not… okay, yet. It might take a while longer to get there.

The days go by quickly. You spend your time baking, like usual, but it’s lonesome now. It was never lonesome before Keigo - tiring, sure, but it never made you lonely. He never helped you out anyways, he sat on top of your counters and snuck spoonfuls of cake batter and icing like a brat (and pouted when you said no more, like a brat). And when you’re not baking, you’re scrolling mindlessly through social media. Or crying. Or laying in your bed. Or all three, at once, on the worst nights, because this shit sucks.

In retrospect, you have no idea why this hurts so much. Keigo and you, despite legal arrangements, were never really dating. He was never yours to lose. He was a friend, when it came down to labels. Fake boyfriend, if you really wanna be technical. That’s it, though, nothing else - you two are - were - friends.

Still, it hurts. It hurts a lot. It hurts so much sometimes you think you feel it physically; some nights ago you thought about it and almost-felt a bright flash of pain over your heart, like your brain expected it to happen but it didn’t. You cried for a bit after that. Ran yourself a bath at near-three in the morning, soaked emotionlessly in the hot water in the quiet. It didn’t make you feel much better, not really, but it soothed you at least for a short time.

You’re walking to Angel Cakes (the clouds are painted different shades of gray, so you hurry just in case it starts to rain) when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Your music stops - a call, it seems - and when you pull your phone out to see the number you see it’s Keigo’s publicist. You figured it was coming, but - again - it’d been a while, so it still takes you a bit by surprise.

You don’t even get to murmur out a greeting before the guy’s speaking. “Why did you call it off so suddenly?”

You blink, sigh, don’t even bother with a hello anymore. “I just… couldn’t do it,” you answer, and it’s at least kind of true. Vague, but true.

Keigo’s publicist sighs, this time, and you can almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay, well, legally, you’ve only got three weeks left to keep this up. You don’t have to talk to him often, but don’t make it obvious something happened. Do you think you can do that?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“If it really bothers you, I won’t pressure you. Neither will Hawks. But I hope you stick around for what little time is left.”

The call ends with a gentle “okay” on your end, and then his publicist thanks you and hangs up. By the time you put your phone back into your pocket you’ve arrived at the bakery. You walk through the front, offer a few of your employees a tight-lipped smile, then make your way directly into the kitchen.

The day is so slow and so fast at the same time. It seems to take hours to mix ingredients, but proving dough for three and a half hours seems like fifteen minutes. That’s how it’s been lately - slow and fast and stagnant and flowing all at the same time. You stopped, but the world didn’t, and it makes you dizzy to try and catch up. Somehow it happens, but you feel barely there.

You’re usually just in the kitchen most days - you are the head baker - but all you’re doing is waiting for a few batches of cupcakes to cook, and it’s a busy day, so you decide the front of the house could use some help. You tell one of your employees to go on their break while you take over at the register.

The customers come and go; you write down names, call out orders and hand out pastries and coffees. Two girls walk in at one point - memorable, since one of them has bright pink skin and they’re both wearing UA uniforms, you recognize - and you smile at them when they come up to the counter, but they don’t order anything.

“Can we have a picture?” The pink girl asks, eyes blinking at you. You furrow your brows.

“What? Why?” is your first reaction, and the other girl - who has pink cheeks and a cute bob - speaks.

“You’re Hawks’ girlfriend! We love you,” she says, adding the last part shyly, and both of them look up at you hopefully.

Her words send you into a brief moment of thought - you miss Keigo. You’ve known that you do, it never leaves, it’s always in the back of your mind at the very least, but seeing these girls, knowing they’ve followed yours and Keigo’s relationship, knowing they fully believe you and him are together… it does something to you.

Nonetheless, the gesture is nice, and it makes you smile genuinely for the first time in a while. “Okay,” you agree, chuckling at their delighted giggles. They turn around, the pink girl holds her phone out to catch the three of you in a photo, and you throw up a peace sign and the cutest face you know how to do. As icing on the cake, they both order something to go, too. You call out a thank you for your support as they exit through the doors, grinning back at you.

The thought of Keigo lingers in your mind as your employee from before comes back out and you retreat into the kitchen once more.

You need to tell Keigo.

If he doesn’t already know. You need to tell him, because ever since those girls visited the bakery, you can’t stop thinking about it. You need to tell him because regardless of how much easier it is, you hurt him by not just explaining that he didn’t do anything, and there’s only, like, two weeks left until the contract is done, and if he never wants to see you again, he won’t have to.

You need to tell him.

You unlock your phone, finding your messages app and then Keigo’s contact. He’s sent a few texts since the two of you last talked in person (all asking if you’d be willing to sit down and talk) but he hasn’t sent anything in a while. Before you lose the little courage you have, you type out the message and send it.

y/n

can we talk?

Keigo responds almost immediately, and somehow it makes you feel worse about everything.

keigo

Yeah, of course

You tell him to come to the bakery after closing tomorrow, and he says he’ll be there. You put your phone facedown onto your sheets and breathe.

The next day isn’t slow and fast. It’s just fucking fast. Fast enough that it seems like only a few hours pass between when you get there and closing, and then you send all of your employees home and you’re wiping down the counters and waiting for Keigo to show up. Because you’re talking to him today. Because you’re going to tell him you love him. Wow.

You’re turning your open sign over so it projects “closed” to the outside world when you see him. He stands outside the doors, watching you watch him, and when you make eye contact with him it’s like a breath of fresh air and pollution all at once. Both of you stay where you’re at, still, until you see him offer a small smile and you don’t feel as tense, not anymore. He opens the door and you move to throw a dirty rag behind the counter.

“Hey,” Keigo says after a moment. He stands in the middle of tables, hands in his pockets, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Hi,” you respond, and God, it’s so awkward. “Um, do you - do you want anything? I could make coffee, or - I have, like, two leftover donuts from today, I know you like them.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

It’s so awkward. You nod, then gesture to an open booth in the dining area for both of you to sit. Keigo does and you follow, sitting on the opposite side. You get strange deja vu from it. There’s silence for a moment, but then you can’t stop yourself from speaking, opening your mouth a few times to get the right sounds formulated in your head.

“I’m so sorry, Keigo,” you say quietly, meeting his eyes. He looks confused, brows furrowed. “I didn’t mean to - to do this, I never thought I would, I’m just - God, I’m so sorry. I fucked everything up. I did this to us.”

“No, what?” Keigo responds. You fiddle with your fingers on your lap. “This wasn’t just you, what are you talking about?”

Your heart is pounding. You want to look at him, to see him, drink him in because you’re pretty sure it’ll be the last time you’re able to, but tears sting your eyes and you can’t see properly, so you keep your head down. “It was,” you murmur instead, wiping whatever’s slipped out as briefly as you can before looking out the window. The street in front of Angel Cakes is empty. In your peripheral vision you see Keigo tense, lean away from the table between you.

“You have to say it,” he tells you. He knows. He knows, he knows - time moves in slow motion, when you turn your head, when he blinks, the way he sounds when he speaks.

“I love you, Keigo,” you say. It comes out so easily. Too easily. It feels so right to say it, even despite the circumstances.

It’s so quiet. It reminds you of the night of the conference, and you know what’s going to happen. He’ll leave. You know it’s coming, he -

“Really?” Keigo asks, and why is he grinning like that?

“Yeah, I -”

“Holy shit. Holy shit - Y/N, me too. I love you too.”

What?

Keigo laughs like he’s relieved and you can’t move, can’t breathe, all you can do is look at him. He looks so beautiful and you blink yourself out of your trance, licking your lips before you speak again.

“You - too? You feel the same?”

“Yeah. Have for a while.”

A moment passes, but then you furrow your brows - “Why the hell didn’t you say anything? Do you know how much time that could have saved both of us?”

Keigo laughs, and it’s genuine and you know it is because his eyes crinkle at the ends. He shrugs, remnants of a smile still on his lips, when he finally speaks. “I thought you knew, and you didn’t feel the same. I figured that’s why you were acting weird, why you told me to leave after the conference.”

You need to move. You stand up, exit the booth, pace a little before stopping. “No, I…” you pause, running a hand through your hair. “I realized how I felt and thought you didn’t feel the same at all, and I didn’t want to tell you and have it ruin everything, because so much is at stake with your image and the bakery -”

Amidst your ramblings, Keigo had stood up as well, standing in front of you. He shushes you and you let him, looking up at him.

“So what I’m understanding is that we’re both fucking idiots?” He questions, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Yeah,” you say, still smiling. “I think so.”

The two of you just stand there for a moment, basking, before the thought hits you: you can kiss him. You could kiss him before, sure, but that was… for his image, for the contract. You can kiss him for you. You can kiss him because you want to.

You barely lean forward, but Keigo seems to get the message. You go slow - you don’t want to scare him away, you don’t want to scare yourself away. You want to remember this forever. But you close your eyes and feel your way through it, sigh when your nose bumps his and then you’re kissing him, for real, for you. And it’s so much better than it ever was before, because you know he loves you, he loves you.

It’s short, but you let yourself sink into it, fall into Keigo like you never let yourself do before. His arms wrap around your waist as yours come around his shoulders and you stay like that for a minute, feeling and breathing and loving, before the two of you break away.

“You’re really good at that, hero,” you say, just like the first time, and Keigo grins. A thought crosses your mind and you take half a step away from him. “So, um, the bakery’s closed, and I was just gonna head home but would - do you - do you want to come with me? To, uh, to my place?”

You’re sure you sound stupid, stuttering and fumbling over your words, but when you meet Keigo’s eyes he looks like he couldn’t be more enthralled by an invitation. So you grab your things and lock up Angel Cakes and the two of you are at your apartment in fifteen minutes flat.

You unlock your door, throw your things down on the couch and turn around to face Keigo, who’s still at the door.

“Be honest,” he starts, “did you bring me here to kill me?”

“Obviously,” you answer quickly, and he laughs and you laugh and it’s so much better than before because he pulls you close again and presses giggly kisses against your lips and you do too. And then giggly kisses turn to kisses, and kisses turn deeper.

They’re deep enough that it’s getting kind of hard to breathe correctly, and when his hands move on you you sigh. He turns his mouth down to kiss at your neck and you swallow, relishing in the feeling of his tongue against your skin, before letting out a hoarse call of “bedroom,” which you feel Keigo grin at.

He stops his assault, though, and lets you lead him to your bed. You gently push him onto it, get him to sit down, then pull away enough to take your shirt off and when it’s off he just stares for a moment. It makes you a bit too aware of the fact that you’re here, with Keigo, and this is very obviously leading somewhere, but then he makes cute grabby hands at you and you giggle as you situate yourself between his legs.

It takes little time for both of you to strip down completely, never leaving each others’ hold for more than a few seconds. You end up under Keigo as he preps you, curls his fingers into you until you’re mewling and gasping into his open mouth.

“Keigo,” you call, but more to ground yourself. Euphoria shoots from your core to your toes to the top of your head. “Please, I - I need -“

“What do you need, sweetheart?” He’s murmuring, silvertongued and sweet, “I’ll give you anything, just ask.”

A million cheeky responses run through your head but then one of his fingers rubs over your clit and you want to sob. “You. You, Kei, only you, just -“

Keigo groans, pulling his fingers away from you only to mumble a disgruntled “where the hell are the condoms” and when you giggle breathlessly he sends you a playful glare. You reach a blind hand to your bedside table, pull open the drawer with a bang and don’t even bother to shut it after you’ve pulled out a condom.

He’s quick to put it on (and you pretend you aren’t absolutely mesmerized by his hands as he tears open the package), and once he’s pressed up against your entrance he looks up at you, a lingering question of “you’re sure?” and you nod.

“Love you,” Keigo gasps as he enters you. “God, I love you.”

His words make your heart swell and he pauses, letting you adjust to him before you ease him into a rhythm with a gentle roll of your hips. He feels like honey, warm and slow, taking his time with you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He feels so good and sounds so beautiful and you love him, you love him, you -

Neither of you are rushing, and there’s no need to. You’re already close, your sighs and whimpers rising. You look up at Keigo and sweat shimmers on him like gold, drenched in the lingering blue light of the sunset - he reminds you of the world. Beautiful and true and glowing. You tell him you’re close and your voice is wrecked with emotion and his eyes are bright, bright.

“Thank god, I was never gonna last long,” he says, and you chuckle as best you can, air stripped from your lungs with every drag of him inside of you. “You drive me crazy.”

One of your hands runs down from around his neck, traces up until it rests on his cheekbone. He looks so gorgeous like this - gentle yet exasperated, hair curling wildly around his face and mouth hung open. He leans into your touch and moves his hips faster, and the one hand that isn’t occupied with touching him runs down between both of your bodies until your own fingers reach your clit, tracing circles until you explode.

Your orgasm rips through you slow and sweet like something you’ve seen coming from miles away. As you come down from your high, Keigo’s just reaching his, and you swear to any deity you can that it’s the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see. His wings unfold and spread in a flash of bright red, eyes clenched shut and he moans, letting himself fall further on top of you. He doesn’t let his entire body weight collapse onto you, and you lazily pull your arms around him as he shudders under your touch.

The two of you lay there like that for some time, simply basking in each other. Eventually Keigo pulls out of you and disposes of the condom, and the second he gets back into bed he’s curling himself into your arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You close your eyes and smile into his hair.

“I love you,” you tell him. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

“You’re welcome,” he responds, and you scoff, but he takes himself out of your neck to look directly at you. “Thank you for giving me a chance to be loved by you,” he says. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

All the colors in your universe appear in him.

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apep40 · 3 years

Text

Just thinking about my favourite film and conceiving of some head canons for how the characters progressed after the films ending. So hers mine-

-Abby, like Elia in the book, turned Owen almost right away not wanting to see someone she loved age and die.

-As a shout out to vampire folklore Owen is rather uncomfortable when passing over bodies of water, due to being traumatized after nearly being drowned in the pool. The first few times he even had flashbacks.

-Also, due to his alcoholic yet rather hypocritically religious mother he would hate christian iconography.

- He deeply enjoys his powers, especially the ability to fly. To the ability he actually becomes more skilled than Abby in some of them due to wanting to explore and experiment with his abilities while Abbys had fallen into a rout over the centuries. His favourite, after flying, was super-strength after a lifetime of being weak and frail.

- Due to his obsession with space he tried flying out of earths atmosphere and spend the rest of the night pouting when he realized he couldn't.

-The massacre at the pool became a major media story. Especially when it became obvious that kenny and his friends were in the middle of attacking Owen before being ripped apart, leading to a lot of speculation about what exactly happened to owen and where his body was.

- It also came out how horribly Owen was abused by his classmates and how the school did nothing to protect him. It caused a lot of sympathy to be directed to owen, which did nothing but annoy him since it was much too late to be of any benefit to him

- Owen and Abby left america and traveled to parts of the world where it was dark and the nightes were long like Canada or Russia or Scandanvia. At Owens insistence because he hated america after everything that had been done to him there. Also because Mr.Zoric was the only adult who treated him with respect and kindness and he was european.

- His first few kills were people who reminded him of Kenny and his friends.

- Owens mom and dad almost went insane when they heard what happened, with no body as closure torturing them even more. They both felt especially guilty when they found out how he was being horribly bullied. They both went on television to claim how their baby wasnt dead and they pleaded with both Owens assumed captors to let him go and Owen himself to forgive them for being so neglectful and cruel to him. Again it was much too late from owens perspective.

-Despite having all of abbys powers Owen would still be rather meek and shy, at times. To the point hed be absurdly intimated by people he could rip apart like paper.

-He would also keep forgetting he could no longer consume anything but blood. It would be a sort of running gag that he thought he could cheat and eat just one now or later sweet before realizing that, no, he couldnt and would violently vomit.

-On a related note he would lose alot of social norms like Abby had surprisingly quickly, since hes living a nomadic life with only Abby for company and he was always a bit odd and awkward. Plus he wants to emulate her. Like going barefoot and not having much of a nudity taboo since he doesnt need clothes for protection from the elements. To the point of going naked like Dr.Manhattan in the snow when they live in rural areas.

- Since he lived in contemporary culture as a human unlike Abby he would often be the one to have to arrange transport or living arrangements like hotels. He would also be smart enough to pretend to still have human needs when staying around people. He would order room service so people wouldn’t be too curious why he and Abby were never seen eating, he would continue to wear thick winter clothes so not to alarm people when walking through a cold urban area

- Owen would get even paler due to his vampirism, which coupled with how pale and underweight he looked already as a human got him unwanted and embarrassing attention from concerned adults. Especially mothers who would fuss over him and give him maternal attention and concern he once would have killed for but simply irritated him now.

-Although he eventually learned to embrace his cuteness and used it to manipulate adults to make them think he was harmless, like abby did with the man in the tunnel. He would even make puppy dog eyes at people, which got him some light teasing from Abby.

@dyslexic-fool ive just thought of a few more

- Because of all the times he was attacked in enclosed spaces and held down by Kenny and his friends as they beat him he really hates tight spaces and he avoids lying in their trunk whenever possible. When he does Abby has to hold him so he doesnt get too upset.

-Maybe because ive read the much darker book but i think Owens fine features and frail body would work against him a few times. Like in some cases when hes trying to lure victims to eat it turns out hes attracted the attention of a pervert who thinks hes pretty and weak and try to cop a feel, which Owen would instantly put a stop to by efficiently snapping their necks. Most of the times. A few times Owen would have the misfortune of his ass being grabbed or being groped which would remove all inhibitions from Owen completely and he would rip them literally to bloody shreds, necessitating a very quick escape from both he and Abby.

-Abby herself would be awkward at times, since Owens the first person who was her equal since she was human and the first person she was romantically attracted to ever.

-coupled with how unaware she is of modern social norms and she would do rather odd things around him. Like staring at him when he undresses ( as a reflection to his voyeurism he displayed in the film, which he would have abandoned at that point because he was no longer alone)

-The one power Owen wouldnt be interested in learning would be telepathy, because Owen wouldnt want Abby learn about his private thoughts ( like his fantasies about killing Kenny) or embarrassing memories like the times Kenny hurt him so much he wet himself and hes a misanthropic who thinks all adults are stupid and evil and he wouldnt want to learn their thoughts.

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uwua3 · 4 years

Note

i stumbled across your blog and i adore your writing!! if it’s not too much to ask, can i get some fluffy cafe date hcs w/ kazu?

YES!!!!!!!!! kazunari Best Boy ever ♡_♡ but thank you so much for the support!!! i hope you’ll adore this piece as well~

summary: you’re kazunari’s greatest gift of them all this christmas

author’s note: i know it’s summer, but this is a christmas! kazunari who is spontaneous and loves the holiday spirit ♡ i miss christmas so much even though i don’t celebrate. enjoy the puns~

word count: 1,771

music: chocolady – akdong musicians (akmu)

i like you a latte!

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

kazunari regretted procrastinating on his big final project of the school year before winter break

he couldn’t help it! he said he’d start soon, but scrolling through his entire timeline took hours! liking posts and making his own creative trends was basically a requirement in his career as a social media influencer!

one thing led to another, and by the time kazunari looked up from his screen, he was surrounded by supplies and only less than half a week to finish a project he got assigned two months ago

no need to panic, just got to do everything right! kazunari went pale like the snowflakes outside and groaned, already stressed as he rubbed his face. this was not going to end well at all... he would need to pull all–nighters just to pass!

kazu⭐️ posted an update! : gonna be offline for a bit~ ♪ don’t miss me too much!!! rip my procastination (^з^)-☆

just a hour after he posted his stresses to the internet, his ears perked up at the custom ring tone he set for you blaring through his room. he took the phone out of his apron pocket and put it to his ear, still mapping out his design as he tried to hide his tiredness

(he hated worrying you, he’d rather have your attention when he was at his best over his exhausted, procrastinative state)

“yolo~! what’s up?” kazunari loudly asked, affectionately calling out your pet name as you laughed on the other end. kazunari could hear you put something on and the jingle of keys. coat? keys? where were you going at this time of night? kazunari pouted, looking at his work, he wished he could go out, too!

kazunari glanced out at his window, seeing it was dark outside. he was about to ask what you were doing before he heard your door close, his facetime screen popped up as he quickly pressed accept, wanting to see your face to motivate him to make some progress

you were walking down your sidewalk in the cold, wearing clothes that were too put–together at this time of night. your cheeks and nose were red from the frost as you grinned at him with all the energy in the world

“i saw your post! i know you’re tired, come on, let’s go get coffee!” you offered, and kazunari felt all his energy come back as he immediately nodded without considering staying behind to focus on his work. he needed you, his energy boost!

“whoa~ why are you so cute?! you know i love coffee! (and you)” kazunari complimented, pushing himself up and heard the crack of his bones. his neck was sore and his clothes were already stained, but he just wanted to see you as he shoved his feet in his shoes and left the studio he was renting

nothing could get between kazunari and his much needed picker–upper (you and caffeine, of course)!

you guys didn’t even have to say which café it was, you two went to the same place as always. it was the 24/7 café that felt like it always stuck in the holiday spirit. the colorful lights were up, there was a jukebox playing christmas classics, and kazunari felt like he was home when he stepped into the warm atmostphere

(like the social butterfly he was, kazunari animatedly exclaimed his greetings and held a small–talk conversation with the exhausted barista at the register. how he remembered the barista’s name was beyond him, and the employee just tried to stay awake as he moved to the back to take a nap. kazunari shrugged, you can’t win everybody, he’ll just try again at a better time)

when kazunari saw you at your usual table by the window with his favorite order and cookies, kazunari rushed over and pulled you into a hug, giving you a big kiss like always did when he wanted to express how much he loved you but couldn’t do it in words

you two were the only ones in the café since it was so late. chocolady by akmu was over the radio this time as the guitar strum made kazunari feel his worries melt away

how could he be stressed when his partner and favorite foods were right in front of him? kazunari slid into the seat next to you, wanting to be as close as possible as he laid his head on your shoulder with a sigh

(it was rare for him to be so clingy without wanting to be the big spoon, so it was nice to have your best boy in your arms because he wanted your love & support)

he was so tired but you always let him rest, it was comforting to know you were here with him and knew coffee would fix him right away

“thank you~ you know i love you, right?” kazunari hummed, taking your hand as he sipped his coffee with the other. it was sugary sweet, just how he liked it. this time, there was peppermint to signify the upcoming holidays

“words cannot espresso how much you bean to me! we’re seriously the perfect blend~” kazunari joked, holding up his marshmallow cup like it was a toast when you two were the only one awake at this hour

you laughed again, patting his head and gently massaging his temples as kazunari cuddled into your side. you always knew how to make him feel better, you were his caffeine dose of the day but like, everyday

“i love you too, kazu. even if your coffee puns are terrible (hey! kazunari took offense), school must be hard on you if you had to go offline for a while!” you comforted him as he nodded, closing his eyes when you pressed a kiss to his forehead. he loved you so much, every act of affection felt like an energy boost even though he felt sleepy in the dim lighting

“s’ my fault anyways, i was busy online.” kazunari murmured, trying to keep his eyes open but your body was so warm. he was in his pajamas too since he didn’t change, and it felt like he was cuddling you back in bed. this was tortue! how could he stay awake when you were super adorable like this?!

kazunari blinked, pushing himself off you as he stood up to stretch, appreciating the quiet music and the stillness of the city at night. suddenly, the song faded and shifted into a christmas song he knew you loved. when you were about to mention it, kazunari placed his drink down and held his hand out with a flourish of a bow

“m’lady~ you are brew–ti–ful, where have you bean all my life?” kazunari asked as you took his hand without a doubt and let him whisk you to your feet. you giggled, trying to not be so loud as you two slow–danced in the public café. anyone walking could see you two dancing through the window, any of the employees could have walked out, but it felt like you two were the only people in the world

you rarely got to witness a tired, more mellow kazunari (even though this meant he was more prone to make insufferable puns). so when you got to see his quiet, more vulnerable side, you always enjoyed his contemplative nature and ability to make anything a special memory. he was tired, but his smile was wide as he attempted to sing along to the lyrics

(he was off–tune on purpose, but you thought you fell in love all over again at the sight of his paint–stained pj’s and his blonde hair illuminated by the warm yellow lighting)

“kazu, stop!” you tried to pull away to avoid being too public with your pda, but he whined as he held you closer, swaying back and forth

“i like dancing with you,” kazunari said, pretending to brush a lock of your hair behind your ear before he put his foot behind your heel, causing you to fall back as he held you in a dip. “do i sweep you off your feet, or do i keep you... grounded?”

kazunari winked and you couldn’t help but laugh at his spontaneous quirks, wanting to retort with something just as punny before you looked past his face and noticed something hanging from the ceiling. oh, mistletoe

without warning, you leaned forward and caught him in a kiss, surprising him to the point where he almost let you go (you would’ve absolutely pushed him out into the snow to freeze forever). but, kazunari quickly tightened his grip as he kissed you back like it was the first

(that was one of your favorite things about kazunari. how it felt like you would never get bored and how his love was new everyday)

he tasted like the mocha peppermint latte you ordered for him and the chocolate cookie he just ate. he was sweet like christmas and all things nice, like he came straight out of a gingerbread house

when you two seperated due to the very awkward cough of the underpaid employee at the front desk, you laughed with no shame as kazunari casually apologized with his instant charisma (he even addressed the barista by name, how’d he even know?)

you two took your time to leave, returning back to your seats to talk more about your plans for the holidays and what to do next before you headed out into the cold

kazunari tossed his empty cup into the trash, noticing the label written as he turned towards you, practically glowing underneath the christmas lights decorating the sidewalk

before you could even say anything, kazunari gave you a peck on the lips and smiled

“thank you, really,”

kazunari pressed another quick kiss even though your face was red (and not just from the winter air)

“i like you a latte, hot stuff! ♪”

(you definitely pushed him into the snow this time)

(you had to give him your jacket when his pajamas were all soaking wet)

because of your coffee date, kazunari always came to the café after school to get his quick dose of nostalgic memories with the same peppermint mocha latte as always

(he always posted a pic, tagging you and affectionately tagging it with every heart emoji to show he was thinking of you)

(he’d remember how amazing you looked when you danced with him, and officially deemed christmas the best holiday ever)

kazunari managed to pass his project in on time and made it to winter break! after all, how could he spend christmas with you if he failed his classes?

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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avengemebuckyy · 4 years

Text

Be Careful

Summary:

You tell Bucky to be careful with your heart. Too late he realizes you should have been careful with his.

or:

You’re awkward,odd, and not the most conventionally attractive yet you’re the only woman that Bucky sees

Warnings: manipulation

Authors note: Back from the dead lmao. This is probably trash but I just needed to force myself to finish something it order to try to get back in the groove! Feedback is more than greatly appreciated, it’s what keeps me writing tbh...

PS. You ain’t shit in this lmao

---

You weren’t the most eye-catching. You didn’t look like the girls Bucky used to chase after in his younger years, or the girls on the internet he’d find himself staring at once he’d discovered Instagram, endlessly scrolling through picture after picture, lost in a sea of beautiful bodies and faces. You didn’t look like the tall slim blonde agent he’d always make a point to hold open the door for, or his neighbor’s daughter in Wakanda, who had had dark skin so smooth and a face so perfect he’d never managed to say more than two words to her.

You were slightly awkward, with a slightly odd sense of humor, always cracking jokes that sometimes no one laughed at but you. But you didn’t care, you would laugh at them all the same. You wore baggy clothes, and not the fashionable baggy kind either. Your favorite outfit was baggy camo print cargo pants and an old grey band t-shirt, logo so faded it was almost impossible to decipher.

At first Bucky didn’t pay you much attention. He wasn’t rude, but he treated you with the same gruff stoicism he treated everyone with. Well everyone besides Sam, Steve, and Natasha. Besides he only saw you rarely, you were a high level agent thanks to your skill, but you didn’t work closely with the team very often. Until you did.

One mission with Clint was all it took to have your name thrust forward when Fury was looking to fill a coordinator position. Suddenly you were everywhere. Coordinating their positions on missions, even going on missions with different members of the team. You fit in well with the team, your corny jokes and generally happy disposition make you easy to like. Your apartment was five minutes away, thanks to Tony, so you would often eat breakfast with the team and stay at the Tower well into the night, often crashing in a room designated for you, also thanks to Tony.

You were like a deceptively shallow river Bucky would think after. One minute he was wading through your shallows, next moment he was being taken under by your currents, realizing too late that he was in deeper than he thought possible.

It started slowly, you would make an effort to make conversation with Bucky, never seeming off put by his non answers. Bucky found himself coming to you with numerous questions on how to work social media, you would give such long winded explanations he wouldn’t have to embarrass himself with asking questions. Soon he found himself seeking you out for more than explanations. Funny thing is you were the one who introduced him to Instagram, to the beautiful women on the app but eventually he found himself unable to see any woman but you.

Bucky found himself sitting with you at lunch, looking out the window in the mornings waiting to catch sight of your army green jacket. He’d sit with you in the afternoons as you did your paperwork, steal glances at you ,your forehead always shiny by midday with an almost ever-present patch of acne, eyebrows scrunched together as you filled out mission reports. He loved those quiet moments the most. Bucky wasn’t good with words, not anymore. But he would help carry the 10 pound boxes of paperwork, always bring an extra pen in case yours ran out of ink, and constantly would bring you your favorite Starbucks order. He secretly hoped that you would read the affection behind his actions.

You didn’t usually go to Stark’s parties, you’d rather go to bars and clubs with your friends.

“The crowd at Stark’s parties just aren’t my crowd,” you’d explained with a shrug, toeing the floor with your scuffed sneakers. Bucky had nodded in understanding. They usually weren’t his crowd either, but he’d always go to support Steve, who was pretty much expected to show face.

But for some reason you show up to this party. Four months into your blossoming friendship (and Bucky’s crush). Bucky wasn’t prepared for what you were wearing. When he heard the agents whispering about your unexpected appearance at the party he half expected to see you in jeans and a t- shirt. Or even your cargo pants. At the sound of your name Bucky zeros into the muttered conversation.

“Did you see her?”

“Yeah, damn.”

“Was not expecting that. Or her to even show up. Who knew?”

“She’s kinda hot, not gonna lie. In a weird way”

Bucky turns his head scanning the crowd, heart rate already picking up, fully expecting to see your sweat-pant clad form. He sees you alright. But not in sweatpants. A red dress barely covers your figure. Hemline way above the halfway mark of your thighs and twin slits in the skirt reaching up to your hips. A draping halter neck ties at your neck and completely exposes your back and gives a generous view of your tits. He catches flashes of the curve of your ass as you walk.

In hindsight the dress was totally in line with your character. You didn’t dress the way you did because you were ashamed of your body but rather because you didn’t give a fuck. Your hair is pinned up, one perfect curl escaping your updo and kissing your neck. Bucky feels his heart stop. He spies numerous heads turning as you languidly weave through the crowd in dangerously thin stilettos. You cozy up to one of your agent friends and the two of you drink, giggle, and dance. Bucky can’t take his eyes off of you.

When you head to the balcony he follows.

“Hey,” you say when you spy his shadow darkening the entrance to the balcony.

“Hey,” he gruffs, in a tone he fears is too quiet. But looking at the curve of your exposed back suddenly has his voice dying in his throat. You turn back to looking at the city skyline. Bucky steps forward next to you. Close. Closer than he’s ever been to you, painfully aware of your arms brushing. He can’t fully feel your skin through the long sleeve button down he’s wearing but the touch sets him on fire all the same.

“Needed some air. “ He eventually grumbles. Trying not to stare at your profile. You look at him then, wearing a sly expression he had never seen on you.

“I’m sure you did,”

After that it doesn’t take long for Bucky to gather up the courage after that. Maybe it’s the way you had looked at him on the balcony or the way both male and female agents were sniffing around you at the party. All the same about a week later Bucky finds himself heading to your office in the afternoon as usual, but this time holding a bouquet of flowers.

Afterwards Bucky falls in love with you hard and fast. He finds himself doting on you, taking you out, bringing you flowers and other tokens of his affection. He hears the whispers, it’s almost impossible not to with his super soldier hearing.

“How’d she’d get him,”

“What an odd couple,”

“The Winter Soldier’s with cargo pants?”

But he still holds your hand in public all the same. Stops in the middle of training recruits to kiss you whenever you happen to cut across the gym all the same. Keeps a picture of you in his wallet all the same.

Bucky has never felt this amount of care and comfort from a person since...ever, even before, in his other life. You put his boots by the heater in the winter when he sleeps over so his feet won’t freeze when he walks to the compound. You listen to him, even when he’s angry, raging at nothing, or when he’s sad and sullen, taking minute long pauses in between sentences. Or even when he wants to do nothing but sit in silence and hold you. You especially listen when his words come fast, tinged with self hatred. You reassure him, holding him like he’s fine china. After many late night musings you give him with the best present he’s ever gotten, an impossibly soft kitten who’s uncharacteristically loud purr always grounds him. Bucky finds himself able to open up with you in a way he can’t with anyone else, even Steve. Bucky’s not good with words anymore, but with you he’s amazing. He can’t stop singing your praises, lavishing you with sweet words and adoration.

In hindsight it was a warning.

“Sweetheart, your wallet must be screamin’ for mercy, with you buying this cake nearly everyday,” Bucky says pinching off a piece of the lemon pound cake which is almost always at the corner of your desk. He recognizes the cake from a bakery across the street, and knows its nearly four dollars a slice. You stretch cracking your back, nipples poking through your shirt. Your ever present band shirt had breathed its last breath, and this new shirt is thinner and cropped, and hugs your body closer.

“Not really, I don’t buy it, Tommy hooks me up” you say, shooting him a smile and then returning back to your paperwork.

“Tommy?” Bucky says, and unbidden hot jealousy sears through his chest at the mention of your coworker “He’s always buying you these?”

“Yeah,” you answer, not looking up, and Bucky tells himself to remain calm, unbothered.

He doesn’t.

Later after the subsequent fight and make up Bucky holds you as the two of you sit on his bed.

“I’m sorry,” He says again.

“It’s alright,” you say and somehow your simple words draw the truth out of him.

“I’m just...I- I’m afraid of losing you.”

“I’m afraid of losing you too,” you confess, then pause “Bucky, please be careful with me,”

Your relationship was easy, comforting. The two of you almost never fought, and never grew tired of being with each other. One blissful year turned into two and then five. It was like a dream and Bucky never wanted to wake up.

But reality eventually did.

How closely you guarded your phone should have tipped him off. How you’d constantly declined calls while the two of you were together. The way you almost always got ‘too drunk’ on girls night and would end up crashing at your friend’s place.

The first time it’s sixth months into your relationship on a lazy Saturday. The two of you had ordered pizza and planned to cuddle on the couch and have a movie marathon. You were in the bathroom when your phone had vibrated. Knowing that you would get a notification when the pizza arrived Bucky had looked at your phone. Bucky had felt surprised to see the name Dominos instead of an unsaved number pop up on your screen. Your phone didn’t show the preview of the text like his did. Your phone was still unlocked since you had headed to the bathroom but a few seconds ago, so Bucky tapped to open the text.

Dominos: [Can’t wait to see you again, beautiful]

Bucky’s blood had run cold. He froze, only unfreezing when he realized you were standing next to him.

“We aren’t exclusive!” you had defended.

“What the hell do you mean?” Bucky had growled. At that your face had crumbled, eyes filling with tears.

“You never asked me to be your girl.” you had looked away “We never talked about what we are,”

“Whaddya think we’ve been doing these past months?!” Bucky had yelled back,

“ I don't know. I don’t assume Bucky. Because guys always seem to want to date me, treat me like their girlfriend and then turn around and throw it in my face that they never said I was.” your voice breaks and so does Bucky's anger. He hadn’t been very verbal with you so far. It’s true he never asked you to be his girl, or even verbally on a date. He just thought you both knew. Guilt fills him at the sight of your tear stained face.

“I’m sorry I was just preparing for the inevitable,” you say and turn away. Bucky grabs your arm and pulls you towards him.

“Well, let me make it clear. I want you to be my girl. I want you to be mine and mine alone.”

Your expression is unfathomable as you wind your arms around his neck.

“I am yours.”

That night you stand in front of Bucky and wordlessly slip out of your sweatpants and t shirt, rendering him speechless. With reverence Bucky’s hands trace your frame and his mouth follows. That night he worships you.

Later, you wrap your arms around him and whisper

“I love you,”

And Bucky knows that he’s done for.

“I love you too sweetheart.” he says, and later still when you’ve fallen asleep Bucky lies awake, stroking the soft contours of your back. He’s done for. And he knows it.

“I’ll be careful,” he whispers.

Reality had tried to wake Bucky gently. Through warning signs that should have been loud and clear especially to an ex assassin. But Bucky had accepted your half baked truths and excuses. He was too far gone off of the drug that was your love to heed the warning signs until reality slapped him- no choked him, awake.

His awakening came in the form of the sight of you on your kitchen counter, a man kneeling in between your spread thighs. The flowers he had bought you on his way back from his mission that had ended early drop to the floor. Bucky freezes. But at the sight of Tommy’s face, cheeks slick with you he loses it. Next thing he realizes that he has his hands around your coworkers throat. But your hand on his shoulder drains the fight out of him, and as Tommy scrambles out of the apartment Bucky crumples to the floor and sobs.

“Why?” He asks and he realizes he’s not just asking about now, but about all the times he’s caught you cheating but didn’t have the strength to leave you.

“Baby” you say and gather him into your arms. He wants to pull away, thrash, yell, but he doesn’t. He just melts into your touch. You make him weak. And at night when he thinks about your excuses and half truths he hates himself for it.

“Why do you keep doing this to me?” he says, sobs wracking his frame “Five years-did they mean nothing to you?”

“I’m sorry,” you say “I love you,”

At this Bucky pulls away, standing. “Don’t fucking lie to me.” he hisses.

“I’m not,” you say standing “I might lie all the time but I’m not lying about this.” your eyes go soft at the corners, and start to water.

“No. I love you. I adore you. I’d give you anything-everything and you treat me like shit” Bucky spits, there’s a pain in his chest, his heart is breaking “And I just fucking take it, because you make me so fucking weak- and I hate it” another sob ribs from his chest. A part of him thinks that this is his punishment. For all of the terrible things he’s done. Cursed to be in love with someone who will never truly love him back. He looks at you, your hair is in disarray, baggy t shirt, those fucking cargo pants around your ankles. He gives a bitter laugh “Who woulda thought that you would’ve been the one to make me weak.”

“Why? Because I’m not pretty?” hurt flashes across your face then your eyes go hard. Usually Bucky would have been quick to refute any self deprecating words, reassuring you how beautiful he found you, how gorgeous you were. But now he just lifts his chin and looks back at you with the same hard eyes.

“Well I know I’m not pretty.” you shrug, face going strangely expressionless “But you still fell for me all the same. More fool you.” you say, and after a moment continue. “We should break up.”

At this Bucky shatters. Because he knows deep down that even after all of this he still would have taken you back. He still wants to grovel at your feet and plead to try to fix your relationship. But instead he decides to finally choose himself and turns and walks out of the door and out of your life.

Year later he still finds himself looking at your picture in his wallet, the one remnant of you he has left, that he can’t bear to get rid of. On lonely nights where he can’t sleep and can’t stand the coldness of his bed he’ll trace the curve of your smile and wish that you had cared enough to have been careful with him.

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