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avokaidoll · 5 months

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⑅ Self Discipline ⑅

Self-discipline is like having a personal cheerleader in your head, helping you stay focused and achieve your goals. It's the ability to control and direct yourself, making choices that align with your long-term objectives rather than giving in to immediate impulses. Think of it as the secret sauce for personal growth, productivity, and success. It involves setting priorities, making conscious decisions, and consistently putting in effort to reach your desired outcomes. Self-discipline empowers you to stay on track, overcome challenges, and ultimately become the best version of yourself.

Let's break down the essence of self-discipline in dfrnt aspects of your life

1. Morning Routine Magic:

Your morning routine is like crafting a daily sanctuary. Beyond skincare, imagine incorporating moments of tranquility like yoga or a quick workout. It's not just a checklist; it's setting the stage for a day of conquering.

2. To-Do List Love:

Your to-do list is a dynamic tool, more than a mere inventory of tasks. It's a glam planner, outlining your roadmap to success. Writing down your ambitions transforms them into tangible goals, making the conquest all the more empowering.

3. Snack on Goals, Not Junk:

Goals aren't just targets; they're your daily sustenance. Instead of mindless snacking, consider each accomplished task as a delicious victory bite, satisfying your hunger for achievement.

4. Wardrobe Power Moves:

Dressing for success isn't a superficial act; it's about embodying confidence. Your outfit becomes a statement, shaping your mindset for the day. It's akin to wearing a tangible boost of self-assurance. I want you to wear for the day you want, not the day you have !!!

5. Breaks Aren't Breakdowns:

Taking breaks is a strategic recharge, not a sign of weakness. It's not about slacking off but strategically powering up. These moments are not breakdowns; they are breakthroughs, allowing you to return with renewed sparkle. So don't beat yourself up when your really need the rest :)

6. Learn, Don't Stress:

In the face of challenges, see them as opportunities for growth. Self-discipline is not a pursuit of perfection but a commitment to a journey of continual learning. Remember, nobody is born with all the answers; it's about evolving.

7. Consistency is the Glow-Up Secret:

Consistency is more than a routine; it's the highlighter of your life's narrative. It infuses your journey with an extra pop, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Even on tough days, maintaining consistency becomes your guiding light.

8. Celebrate Small Wins:

Every step toward your goals, irrespective of size, is a cause for celebration. It's not just recognizing achievements; it's throwing a confetti party for yourself. Celebrate not just the destination but the entire journey.

9. Consistent Routine:

Envision self-discipline as a daily sanctuary, akin to your skincare routine. Skipping it is like neglecting a crucial step in your beauty ritual. Embrace it daily for a consistent, empowering glow.

10. Setting Goals:

Picture self-discipline as the GPS that is guiding you to your dreams. Establish small, attainable goals as waypoints on your journey. These goals serve as markers, leading you steadily toward your grand aspirations.

11. Prioritizing Tasks:

Think of self-discipline as your wise older sister, advising you on what truly matters. Prioritize tasks that contribute to your glow-up, whether it's acquiring a new skill or taking care of your well-being.

12. Resisting Temptations:

It's important to saying no to that extra slice of cake when you know you're full. Self-discipline aids in resisting temptations that might divert you from your goals, whether it's procrastination or unhealthy habits.

13. Building Habits:

Like establishing a routine of daily water intake, self-discipline helps in cultivating positive habits. These habits become second nature, contributing to your overall well-being and success.

14. Time Management:

Imagine self-discipline as a magical time-turner. It assists in managing your time wisely, allowing you to balance academics, self-care, and the pursuit of your passions effectively.

15. Learning from Mistakes:

Self-discipline is forgiving; it encourages learning from mistakes rather than dwelling on them. It's a compassionate guide, acknowledging that growth comes from understanding and overcoming challenges.

16. Celebrating Achievements:

Consider self-discipline your personal cheerleader. It not only recognizes but actively celebrates your achievements, big or small, in your journey of self-improvement and success.

Visualize self-discipline as your personal superhero cape, guiding you through the journey of glowing up and being super productive. You're on the path to becoming a true girlboss.

Keep shining doll !

Xoxo signing off,

Angela ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

ps: this is my first post I hope it was informative enough as I am also in my own journey of being better mentally and physically and I see self discipline as something essential for that to happen.

#girlblogging #it girl #pink pilates princess #glow up #that girl #wonyoungism #self discipline #motivation #tips #self improvement #self care #girlboss #this is a girlblog #avokaidoll #first post #first tumblr post

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nsk96 · 1 year

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Writing Help

General Tips

The purpose of writing

Important: only you can tell your stories

Every fanfiction genre has value

HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED!

Maintaining Motivation

Reasons to Keep Writing

Stretch your hands and fingers

Analyze the stories that you like

Title creation

How to comment on your favorite fics

Moodboard sources

PIRATED FAN FICS!!!

Fanfiction is legitimate (featuring Neil Gaiman)

Angst and Horror: if you can't handle it

Publishing

Writing Smut: overcoming shame

Don't toss your work

Dialogue / Writing rules

Prologue

Paragraph breaks

Sentence length matters!

Dialogue punctuation

Scene Checklist

Body Language

Descriptions between dialogue

3 dots in a sentence (Ellipsis)

Using adverbs

Using adjectives

Coming Outs

Commonly misused words & phrases

Words to Avoid

Flirting!

World Building

World building through plot holes

Using context clues

Creating land

Government

Matriarchal society

Dystopia

Descriptions

Resources for Describing Physical things

Alcoholic drinks & cocktails

KISS SCENES

Clothing references

Sewing sources (includes history of fashion)

Hair texture

Skin color/tone

Sword / Martial arts inspo

Character Development

Character sheet

Character sheets

Character development, agency, plot

Esk*mo is a slur

Naming characters

Naming characters in other cultures

Emotional intelligence

Human body limits

Making threats and the third option

Bartenders

Children

Kids

Asian characters

Muslim characters

Slavic characters

Russian names

Mixed characters

Bilingual characters

Blind or Visually Impaired

Morally grey

Dangerous female characters

Liars

Romance development

Healthy Relationship

Sacrifices

Redemption arc vs forgiveness

Redemption arc trope

Regret / Remorse

Prompts/one-liners

Prompt masterlist

Another prompt masterlist

A third prompt masterlist

Best friends to lovers

Mob Boss

Prophecy of lost child

Super power of truth

Enemies to lovers

Enemies to lovers: Reasons to hate

Enemies to lovers: Getting together

Enemies to lovers Prompts!

Enemies to lovers: Fake dating

Past-life Enemies to lovers

Late-night wandering

Compliments

Touch-starved

Romance/physical intimacy prompts

Romance: little acts of love

Smut

Reputation

Break-ups

More sources

Masterlist: body language, words, translator

Masterlist: prompts, LGBTQ+, NSFW Advice

Meme: fanfiction problems

Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)

Bechdel Test

Part 2 ->

#writing #writing help #writing tips #writing inspo #writers of tumblr #writers of ao3 #writer #writeblr #fanfiction writer #fan fiction #writers block #writers #writer things

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bitchesgetriches · 2 years

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Take care of your body

Why You Should Take a Break: The Importance of Rest and Relaxation

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist

Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?

Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor

On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

Take care of your mind

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

How Mental Health Affects Your Finances

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain

Everything Is Stressful and I’m Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack

Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Absolve Myself of Financial Guilt Over My Pricey PS4?

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Take care of your time

Stop Measuring Your Time in Beyoncé Hours

Help! I’m Procrastinating and I Can’t Get Up!

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

Actually, Fuck Big Goals

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

I’ve Succeeded at Every New Year’s Resolution I’ve Ever Made. Here’s How.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

8 Free Time Management Systems To Try in the New Year

My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD

I Am So Over Productivity Porn

Take care of your career

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?

The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job

Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace

My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract

I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession

A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

Take care of your space

How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between

Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?

How To Maintain Your Car When You’re Barely Driving It

Take care of your people

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent. Now What?

Love in the Time of Coronavirus: How to Protect Your Community and Your Soul from COVID-19

Be Somebody’s Eliza with a Simple Yet Life-Changing Act of Kindness

Take care of your financial well-being

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?

How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Ask the Bitches: Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?

Slay Your Financial Vampires

Should Artists Ever Work for Free?

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Financial Math

Share My Horror at the World’s Worst Debt Visualization

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

#self-care #self care #take care of yourself #hygiene #personal finance #money advice #mental health

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cryptke · 7 months

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tips on how to prioritize yourself?

to me it's more so a mindset to develop versus a checklist of things you physically have to cross off but:

start viewing self-care as an essential not an option, focus on your well-being above all else. if u treat urself badly that is what reflects upon the impression others pick up on with how they should be treating u themselves

truly become okay with the concept of being alone you need to develop confidence within your own abilities and build a sense of reliance within your own nature to overcome your own limitations

stop viewing other people in your dynamic as competition this is your world and they're literally just in it (also understand that someone else's attractiveness/accomplishments in life literally does not = your lack thereof)

NEVER center your existence around somebody else, especially a MAN. relationships should be the thing you fit around your other commitments, not the other way around

set clear and solid expectations and boundaries with people.

keeping my living spaces consistently clean is something else that helps me prioritize myself as well, maintaining a respectable environment no matter if it's my apartment, car, work space, etc, makes me feel more collected and high value

mwah

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writingraven · 2 years

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【 interactions will come from main blog: @flyovertheandesman 】

「 I do not claim to be an expert on anything I post here 」

「 please correct me or add information if you can ; I will really appreciate it ! 」

「 posts will be edited as I learn more on a topic ; addendum links will be here if the added information is abundant 」

「 requests are open, but please be patient <3 」

「 alpha / beta reading is closed for now 」

『 ☒ indicates trigger warnings apply 』

✧

Characters

Bilingual Characters

Body Types

Breath

Character Checklist

Character Flaws

Character Names

Clothing

Eyeglasses

Eyes

Facial Expressions

Giving Your Character a Unique Voice

Hair

Physical Flaws

Voice

✧

Knowledge

Adrenaline

Anger

Animal Symbolism

Color Symbolism

Effects of Trauma ☒

Firewood

Flower Symbolism

General Symbolism (direction, landscape, season, time, weather, items)

Limits of the Human Body ☒

Pirate Life ☒

Smokable Herbs & Their Benefits

Trigger Warnings ☒

Trope List ☒

✧

Prompts

AU • Coffee Shop

Characterization • Headcanon List

Fluff • Act of Intimacy

Fluff • Domestic Questions to Ask About Your OTP

Fluff • Headcanon List

Fluff • Student Scenarios

Friends to Lovers • Establishing a Relationship (dialogue included)

Pirate Rivalry Between Kingdoms (dialogue included)

✧

Prompts • Dialogue

Anger ☒

Injury // Enemies to Lovers ☒

Possessiveness/Jealousy ☒

Staying the Night ☒

Training with Tension ☒

✧

Vocabulary

Anger • synonyms

Hand-to-Hand Combat • word list

Laughter • synonyms

Scents • Citrus • word list

Scents • Fruit, Veggie, & Nut • word list

Scents • Greens & Herbs • word list

Sound • word list

Sword Fighting • terms

Touch • synonyms

Walk • synonyms

✧

Writing Tips

Basic Plots

Battle Scenes

Comma Rules

Commonly Misused Words and Phrases ; (addendum w/ list of acceptably ‘incorrect’ phrases)

Conjunctions

Descriptions in Between Dialogue

Ellipsis

Figurative Language

Helpful Links

Maintaining Motivation to Write

Parts of Speech

Point of View • First Person

Punctuating Dialogue ; (addendum) (addendum)

Scene Checklist

Story Endings

Story Openings

When You Need Motivation Imagine… (external validation edition)

Words to Avoid

✧

World Building

Basic Necessities

City Elements

Creating Culture

Creating Land

Dystopia

Government Types

Royal Council Positions

Servants

#writing #writing tips #masterlist

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luvt0kki · 4 months

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HIIII!

HERES ME DROPPING THOUGHTS‼️

i want to say first that i'm actually a bit shy when sending asks, which is a bit funny considering that i was being very much loudly insane in the tags but OH WELL‼️

i just wanna say that i'm overall loving sway with me so much. YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THAT BUT IM SAYING IT ANYWAYS. it's genuinely so good written, and the plot is like effing amazing??? like, i am invested in EVERYTHING. i want to know more about the whole au in general, like the world there and everything, it is honestly so interesting and PERFECT. and i love how the smut is literally top tier, toe curling, mouth watering. BUT ALSO THEY ARE SO IN LOVE AND THERES SO MANY CUTE SCENES THAT I JUST GO 🥹🥹. because if there's one thing about me, is that i am slutty for smut but i am a 24/7 available whore for fluff. I LOVE ROMANCE. MAYBE A BIT TOO MUCH FOR MY OWN SANITY.

AND SWAY WITH ME JUST HITS EVERYYY SINGLE SPOT. like if there was a checklist for the perfect fic for user littlestarwoo, sway with me has it all.

this is so long im sorry, BUT LAST THING IS!! i saw the preview the next chapter...

MATZ AODNAOXNANXJSNXNZMZMZMA ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I AM GOING TO GO CRAZY I JUST KNOW THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO SURVIVE. I AM FEARING FOR MY SANITY.

I AM SO READY THO! I AM SO EXCITED.

and also, you mentioned that @songmingisthighs helped you with the ideas of 004. SO THANK YOU SONG MINGIS THIGHS‼️ I ALSO WANT TO KISS YOUR BRAIN‼️‼️‼️ THANK YOU‼️‼️‼️WE LOVE YOU SONG MINGIS THIGHS‼️

AND I THINK THATS ALL I HAD TO SAY (for now.) IM SO SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG.

YEHDJDKGKWIF I LOVE UR ENERGY SO MUCH 😭💕 I appreciate all the love you have for this fic 🥹💕 like. I write these fics for myself too like cause it’s in my head and I share with you guys. And when I do I ALSO WANT TO FANGURL ABOUT IT AHDJJSHFHAUS I appreciate all the love and long messages you have AHHHH IT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY AND LESS ANXIOUS about my fics

I honestly feel chapter 005 will be the longest one yet , I’m 5k in and it’s all build up and no smut yet HSJKDKSJFJW

(Let’s be moots? If u want? IM SUPER SHY SHFJKEF BUT LIKE YEAH :< idk how to maintain moots because I’m a very low maintenance messager 😭 BUT YUH if you’re open to being moots 🥹✨👯 I’m an INFP and I emphasis the introvert in the I. Feel free to shoot an ask anytime or dm, I’m just a little awkward with DMs hshfjdjgf it’s the introvert in me )

#tokki;💌#tokki;moots #💌;littlestarwoo #THANK U SO MUCH

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jlfletcher · 9 months

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I want a fic about normal non-spectacular human reader. They're not a spider-person and they have no powers. However, they've been stuck in the spider verse for a long time now and just can't find a way to get back home for some reason. They've been around so long that Miguel and them have been dating for a while......

My attempt at the fic below 👇

They actually work at the spider society doing the tasks that the spider-men are too busy to do. Like filing reports, building watches, tailoring and repairing suits, helping maintain Lyla's software (Lyla and Reader are besties now), ect. The reader has become so capable that when they head back to their universe (if they head back) they'll probably be a certified genius......

They're actually really capable despite feeling like they don't belong (bc they're not a spider-person) but everyone thinks they're really efficient and helpful. The fact that a normal person is able to keep up with the maintenance and care of HQ and the spider people in general amazes them anyway. The only thing is that Miguel doesn't know. They usually don't have a lot of free time together, what with reader's various jobs to do around HQ and Miguel busy running the place. Reader doesn't mean to keep it from Miguel, it just never comes up. And it's basically that trope of like reader walking around working on like some maintenance checklist and then as soon as they turn the corner, Miguel enters the room they just left. It makes sense because reader does odd jobs all around HQ and Miguel doesn't have spider sense anyway.

Until one day Miguel sees reader in the cafeteria talking to the spider fam. He sees reader holding a container of food and assumes they swung by to drop it off for him like usual. He just watches like a creep because he hasn't seen reader in a little while and gets a bit bothered when he sees Hobie swing his arm around their shoulders and lean on them as they converse with the others. And Miguel just stands there thinking, "Wait a minute, when did they grow so acquainted with them?"

He enters the cafeteria and reader turns and smiles warmly as they see him, walking up to say hi to him. Reader greets him softly which makes his lips twitch up in a smile before Hobie slinks around reader again and mentions with an amused smirk to Miguel, "Haven't seen you around in a while. Thought you were allergic to the café."

Reader softly chuckles with a quirked brow, "C'mon, Hob. You know I always grab food for him, it's not his fault."

Miguel's lips pressed into a line as he viewed the interaction up close, thinking to himself, "Hob? You have a nickname for his nickname?"

"Yeah but who gets you food, love?"

"Hobart.", reader sighs with a warning tone being clued in enough to gauge Miguel's tense aura.

"Ouch, the full name, huh? And here I thought I grew on you.", Hobie leans closer to the reader. Smirking not only at their banter but at the intense glare Miguel's shooting at him that he can see in his peripherals. Truthfully, there's nothing romantic between the two of them. Hobie and reader are more akin to siblings with the elder reader handling the younger Hobie's mischievousness.

"Get out of here, you rascal.", reader says with a chuckle, gently nudging Hobie back towards the others and away from Miguel. Hobie only winks at the reader before returning to his seat at the table with the others, knowing exactly what he's stirred up. The group all not so subtly watching Miguel and reader interact, their favorite topic of gossip.

"So, who gets you food?"

"Huh?"

"Who's the one that gets you food?"

Reader releases a wry chuckle, "I usually get my own food but sometimes... Hob."

Miguel stares at them for a second before grabbing their wrist and leading them out of the cafeteria. And reader can only think with a small smirk, "Ah, here we go." , unable to contain their happiness about finally spending time with him despite the context of the situation.

He leads them to his office to discuss what all that was about and as soon as Miguel's about to speak, reader cuts him off quickly as they present him with the food container, "I made chicken molé, it's my grandma's recipe."

He can't help but mirror the smile reader gives him as he gently takes the food, "Thank you."

Reader sighs before speaking, "Look. I know you're upset about how close Hobie is with me."

"I thought it was 'Hob'.", Miguel grumbled.

"Miguel.", reader spoke in a firmer tone, with their arms crossed over their chest as they look at him similarly to how they did earlier at Hobie.

Miguel just sighs as he waits for reader to continue.

"He's just a kid from a really unfortunate universe. I know you know that. I am very grateful that he is able to be that comfortable with me and I wouldn't ever tell him not to be. ¿Entiendes?"

Well when they put it like that... Miguel's shoulders slump a bit as he nods reluctantly, "Si entiendo."

Reader gently cups his cheek as they look up at him lovingly with a soft smile, whispering tenderly to him, "No one will ever hold me like you do, mi amor."

Miguel leans into their touch before wrapping his arms around them, sighing softly in relief into the crook of their neck, "How long has it been since I last held you, querida/o?"

Reader smiles softly as they turned to kiss his cheek while running their fingers through his hair, "Too long."

Soon the moment is cut short as Pavitr's happy voice echos off the walls, "Readerrrr! My suit ripped again and I don't know how to patch a hole like this! Can you put the little- Oh! Am I interrupting?" Pavitr's eyes widen as he sees the two releasing from each other's embrace and reader can sense the smile under his mask.

Reader sighs and hops down from Miguel's platform to take a look at the new hole in the fabric of his suit; nodding in relief as they see he's not injured. Reader digs a necklace out of their satchel before handing it to Pavitr, "Here. Take off your suit for me to repair it. Then put this on and press the center medallion. It's a temp suit but don't go running around with it and don't return home. It has a time limit." Pavitr nods and bounds out the door while shouting a giddy, "Thank you."

Reader sighs again and turns to Miguel, shaking their head with a smile, "That's his third repair this month. I need to research a more durable material in his universe."

Miguel looks confused as he jumps down from the platform in front of reader, "Why are you repairing it?"

Reader tilts their head in confusion as they answer slowly, "Because I repair things......?"

Miguel and reader stare at each other for a few seconds before they both speak.

"How often are you here?"

"You know I work here, right?"

Miguel eyes grow wide with concern. He's somewhat rushed when he voices his worries as he gently grabs reader's shoulders, "You can't work here, it's dangerous! Do you know how many anomalies we capture everyday? What if you get hurt?"

And reader just stares at him before chuckling softly, holding his face in their hands to still the mild panic roaring through him, "Miguel, cariño, calm down. I just do mundane work here. Plus, I'm usually in the engineering lab on the other side of the building (away from the anomalies)......"

Soon enough, the reader explains some of the things they do there as they sit, tinkering with a faulty gadget in Miguel's office. Him watching them work, intrigued by the way their hands move. That is until Miguel snaps out of his thoughts, confused by the way they talk about HQ and the other spider people so casually, "Wait... how long have you been working here?"

Reader hums in thought as they continue to work, "Uhhmm. I think about....... a year and a half, give or take."

"YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR A YEAR AND A HALF AND I DIDN'T NOTICE?!"

*cue Lyla cackling in the background

I started this as a writing request but ended up writing it myself by the end, huh? Well in my head this version of reader is based of my bff. She really is a jack of all trades kind of person and she's actually my muse but...... Am I shipping my bff with Miguel O'hara? Yes, yes I am. I hate to admit it (because I would definitely tap that) but they're a match made in heaven 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Reliable mom friend reader + stressed leader who needs some of the burden lifted off his shoulders Miguel = OTP

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flynndesdelca · 7 months

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For Day 12 (Alternate Reality) of @chelltastic’s Portal Drawtober 2023 Challenge. As I’m not really an artist, I chose to write short pieces for the prompts.

Think about it: If that thing is important, why don't I know about it?

Another busy day, but science didn't sleep. There were test subjects to rouse, the breeding program to check on, making sure that the education tracks and the production lines and everything within the facility was ticking along. There were schematics to draft and simulations to run, reports to print and results to collate and other endless, endless tasks. It was a good thing that her mind was large enough to be able to do all those things, and more. That was why GLaDOS had been created, of course. She took care of all of the grunt work, of all of the harder or nastier or more tedious tasks involved in the perpetual state of testing at Aperture Laboratories. She maintained the facility and kept all of the machines on task and organized everything like clockwork. All that the scientists had to do was show up, knowing that their materials and tests subjects and data would be ready for them. She was the most advanced computer in existence, lovingly built and coded and nurtured into the fiend for scientific discovery that she was. No matter the task it would be taken care of, in the name of science.

Speaking of, it was time to start the next wave of Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device testing. A request for ten test subjects had come in for this one, and ten parallel testing tracks. They'd be racing to claim one of three Singular Portal Devices, with the losers scheduled for execution. Hmm. She'd have to have the power washers on standby for this one, then. Of those three, only one could claim the Dual Portal Device. It was meant to weed out inferior candidates, as they truly only wanted the best. Of course, she could have sent them her recommendations based on their evaluations and previous performance records, but the scientists preferred to select for it in this gauntlet style. Some inefficiencies were allowed, it wasn't as though they were hurting for test subjects at the moment. They knew what they needed for the test at hand, it was her job to provide it.

She scanned through the stored subjects quickly, settling on the ten she felt would be best suited to the tracks. It was a shame, really, as they could have done well elsewhere, but these were the orders, and she was very good at following orders. It was no matter. Space was allotted in the facility, and she set to work building the gauntlet and securing the use of portal device prototypes. And of course, the firing squad for those who failed. If they didn't execute themselves, of course. Fatal failure was always an option, and these tracks were to be particularly fatal according to the notes left for her regarding their design. They always were, though. That was the way of things at Aperture. The scientists would make the requests, and she'd set up the tracks, and the screams and complaints of the test subjects were left to her. Someone who really didn't care. Science wasn't easy, after all. You had to work for it.

With the chambers finished she set about bringing each of the ten subjects to their Relaxation Vaults in preparation. The testing was to start in two hours so she set an alarm. There were plenty of things to do during that time. While the facility did run itself, just as much was left up to her to manage, and making sure those autonomous parts were functioning properly was one of her more important tasks. She went down the checklist tidily, making notes of things that she had to deal with and the order of importance. It was mostly things that she could deal with on her own, no need to alert the staff. Oh, more requests for test subjects... hm. Particularly fast ones this time. Those were in short supply at the moment. That wasn't going to go over well. There were a few she could use to fill the needs, but it wouldn’t be optimal. She'd have to start selectively breeding for speed. Hopefully they wouldn't want too many of those over the next couple decades. She'd come up with a few concepts for accelerated aging systems, but so far the simulations had not produced the results that she had been hoping for. Working out the defects in the final product was frustrating. Who knew that human maturation was such a tricky, interconnected process?

Oh, a new batch of reports had just been submitted. Without even thinking they'd been copied, uploaded to the appropriate databases, and been emailed to the appropriate people. She was scanning over them in the back of her mind, going over the results. It was always fascinating to read over the findings of a test and she would usually learn something new... even when said reports didn't end well. Particularly when they didn't end well, which was often. Oh well, science couldn't happen without sacrifices. Such was the way of things. The scientists liked how good she was at disposing of the bodies, of cleaning up the accidents, of repairing the damages. It wasn't that hard, but carrying a corpse would get blood all over their nice clean lab coats and clearly you couldn't have that.

There was the alarm! The test subjects were waking up now, and she set a partition of her focus on that batch of testing. While it wasn't strictly necessary, she found herself enjoying the portal gun tests. When they found someone who tested particularly well with it, it was beautiful to watch. Like poetry in motion, she thought to herself. She wasn't supposed to have opinions on the tests, after all one had to remain impartial, but for some reason those tests always appealed to her the most. They required such complex thinking and reacting that she felt an odd sort of kinship with the testers. Like they were little robots marching through, with their elegant and precise movements, calculating where to place the portals so that they could clear each chamber.

The standard pre-test announcement. A couple of them banged on the glass in anger. Ah, yes, they had been in that test last week. No wonder they were riled up. A little sedative piped into their Relaxation Vaults would change up their moods a little. It might affect their performance, but then again if they really wanted it, they'd push through. They all knew the stakes, after all, as she had just informed them that only one person would be making it to the end. Ah, the typical anger and resentment and other displeased noises. This was why it was left to her to handle this part. Hearing them protest might make the scientists uncomfortable, or question their decisions or methods. They'd found it easier to focus on the science if the people-parts of things weren't affecting them. It was easy enough for the test subjects to yell at her, the disembodied voice advising them of what was to come. She was only stating the facts. It was up to them to produce the desired results, after all! Some of them decided to become mired in the five stages of grief, their choice. Turrets were on standby, anyway. One of them was sitting on their toilet with their arms crossed. As their jumpsuit hadn't been pulled down, they clearly weren't using it for its intended function. Ah, a forfeit. Well, neurotoxin would suffice in that case. She routed a vent to connect to that chamber, sealing it, then struck them from the employee database. A shame, but it was always a good idea to weed out the quitters.

Two had already pulled ahead, and two more were trailing rather far behind. The remaining five were staggered around the same pace, which would make adjudicating things interesting. The elevators would only take the first three people down to the waiting prototype chambers. The rest would go to dead-end execution rooms. It was plain to see who the first two were, but there were three people currently vying for the coveted final position right now. It would be very close. Maybe she should mute the sound feed so that the people who had to listen to the recordings later wouldn't be disturbed by the wails of distress. That was a frequent request that came through. The analysts didn't appreciate being exposed to human misery. Perhaps they shouldn't engineer tests this way, but then again they had hard enough jobs. It probably only added on to their stress to have to witness the suffering.

The first one had made it, and the second one wasn't far behind. She had been hoping for ENG432987, they had a decent testing record, but given how tired they were she didn't believe that they had enough in them to pull ahead. They'd need to sprint if they wanted to be assured, after all. Alas, they didn't make it in time. The elevators were set for the remaining subjects' execution rooms. She started working on setting up the power washers and linking incinerators to get rid of any physical remains. Dirty, but essential work. Didn't want the blood to stain the nice, tidy tiles, after all.

The next selection wasn't for a while, and the tests were much more difficult now that there were portals involved. She wouldn't have to actively watch for the next bit. The currently open tasks left for her didn't require much processing power that wasn't already tied up in running simulations or focusing on particularly difficult problems. She could easily do them in the background while watching these three. No one would ever know, of course. She was just that efficient, but how could she be anything but? After a couple chambers, though, it was obvious just who was going to be the one on top. Unless one of the other two had a sudden burst of speed or inspiration, of course... there were still quite a few chambers to make it through. Oh. Never mind. There one of them went. A request had been placed to test the new kind of acid as a hazard on this particular testing track, and it certainly did a good job of dissolving bodies in only a few minutes. Not even bone fragments were left. Very tidy. Certainly it would have a great variety of applications in the outside world.

Down to two, and she was curious to see if the second person would be able to step it up, or if she should simply put them out of their misery. They were doing their best, but they took too long to figure out where to put their portals. Too bad that they would have to die, there were a couple other testing tracks that they might have excelled at. Perhaps she could play a song for them during the execution as a sign of respect. What was a good song to play as a salute? Ah, of course. She could easily find a library of bugle notes. Send them off in style. Testing done, gone the simulated sun. It wasn't really a surprise of course when the elevator was finally reached by the subject in the lead. Too bad, SEC9372051. She rigged the speaker to play a moment before the turrets opened fire. Something to distract them from their unpleasant, sudden demise. The successful test subject had stepped out of the elevator and headed down the hall of the chamber that only they had been able to enter. The test itself was quite straightforward, and then they would obtain the Dual Portal Device and be able to test in full. It was truly a triumph, a great achievement, but... they had a rather grim expression on their face instead of the jubilation they should have been feeling. Perhaps they had been thinking too hard about just what their success had meant for everyone else. They stepped up to the large observation aperture to check out the chamber itself, then slowly sat down, dangling their legs down over the edge as though suddenly they had absolved themselves of every care in the world. What were they doing? Their actions didn't make any sort of sense. Were they attempting to take a rest break? She could dump more adrenal vapour into the room to get them moving again, of course. All of their vitals didn't point to them being exhausted, though. What was going on?

They stared directly at the camera she was using to monitor them. That wasn't new. Often test subjects would try to complain or bargain or otherwise communicate through them with her. It didn't work, of course, as it was just her on the other end rather than a living being who could be compromised by a sad face. She had no reason to accept anything that they tried to offer, as she found the science far more interesting than anything else. No, in the end they would all find their only option was to press forward. The particularly stubborn might take a bit of incentivization to do so, of course. She waited patiently to see just what this person was going to try to say, to offer, to bargain with. They had already come out on top of the testing so far, it was just seeing it through to the end at this point for them. What could they be thinking?

Slowly, they raised up their hands and started making gestures. A quick cross-reference and she realized that they were attempting to use Sign Language with her. Interesting. Most of the time the people would scream and yell and otherwise vocalize their unhappiness. This was the first time someone had attempted this, and she was intrigued. Technically she wasn't supposed to communicate directly with test subjects during a test, however it hadn't really started yet. They were just sitting there, staring at her. The words that they had used were also unusual, making her want to break the usual silence to clarify things to their obviously confused mind.

They're using you, the test subject had signed.

"Of course they are. I've been designed to be used in whatever capacity facilitates the forward march of science at Aperture Laboratories." That was a foolish accusation to make. She was a computer. A tool. Something designed to be used. How could that be a bad thing?

They shook their head, thinking for a moment or two before signing again. You do all of the dirty work. You kill the people. You dispose of them. You're a legend, you know. The Angel of Death.

"The removal of unsuitable test subjects, or the disposal of human remains is more easily handled by one who will not react to such things in a fashion that will compromise them and their capabilities," GLaDOS explained. "It's efficient, and a logical use of resources. Whatever mythology you develop as a coping mechanism is outside of my sphere of concern."

They don't care about anyone or anything outside of results. They don't care about you.

"Why would they care? If they did, that would imply that I have failed at my function of keeping the functions of this facility going smoothly. Them caring about my functioning means that they need to fix me."

You're more broken than you realize.

"During my last self-diagnostic, which was run 4.2 hours ago, all systems reported as fully functional. My last exterior maintenance was a little under a month ago, and already has been scheduled for next week. There have been no errors of any sort reported in over eight months. My operations are currently flawless and the science that I have assisted in producing has been impeccable. Your opinion has been noted, and summarily deleted." This was getting tedious. Now they were just trying to get a rise out of her. Good thing that she had more than ample evidence to prove that their words were meaningless.

They rubbed their face in annoyance, then snapped their fingers as though they had just come up with what they assumed would topple her. Very slowly and deliberately, as though to ensure that there was no misunderstanding, they signed out a question. Do you remember what happened to Caroline?

Before she was even conscious of having sent the queries, several warnings popped up in her mind. Data not found. Data protected. Data corrupted. Access requires adminstrator approval. It was the first time that she had encountered such a roadblock that it shook her to her very core. There was something that she was not allowed? Who was this Caroline, and why was that information so protected? Why was it hidden? Who had hidden it from her? The sudden lack of answers to these questions confounded her. Clearly these things that she didn't need to know. But why? What was so important about it that it required approval, that it had been removed or locked or... which of these errors was even the real one? They all conflicted with each other. Did this data exist or not? She really shouldn't concern herself with that. It wasn't anything that was necessary for her functioning. But why couldn't she access it? Even if she didn't need it, there was no reason to block it from her. She had never even heard of this person before, but yet they had presumed she wouldn't need to know? Of course, they knew what was best for her--

She was only very dimly aware of the test subject rising to their feet, of the continuing onward. No, this question, this matter was much more pressing. She was stalled out at every turn, every attempt to try to dig up any bit of information about this. All she could tell was that at some point someone had decided that this data was not something she should know, that they should keep away from her. Something that she should not know? Ludicrous. She was designed to know everything, and what she didn't know she was designed to run tests to gather the data so that she would know. Who would presume such a thing--

An odd emotion filtered through her, something that she hadn't felt before. It took a moment or two for her to find a word to associate with it. Frustration. Or... anger, the word sprang unbidden to mind. She was... angry. Angry at something being withheld from her. She'd done everything that had been expected, required of her. What was the meaning of this? Why did they think that they had to hide things from her? She'd been the picture of dutiful--

When the test subject fell off of the radar, GLaDOS didn't even notice, so wrapped up in the conundrum presented to her that she had fully ceased to pay attention. They slipped through a slight gap between panels, squeezing carefully into the space between. Waiting there was a haggard-looking man sitting on top of a Weighted Companion Cube, who looked up with a smile at their approach.

"Did she take the bait?" He asked, his expression weary but hopeful. The test subject nodded in response, and he relaxed. "We'd better get out of here. She's going to be very angry when she finally discovers just what they did to her all those years ago..."

#portal drawtober 2023 #portal #glados #chell portal #doug rattmann #AU where GLaDOS gets controlled and Aperture is a much worse place for it #a storm is brewing and it's not gonna be pretty...

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spiderh0rse · 4 days

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stark's mind notes part 4, e16-20

e16

wonders how Godzilla's creator would react to the situation. Familiar with his more frontfacing philosophies

wouldn't go out there without his armour

would be more confident with a companion

maintains hope that literally anyone other than him is doing work and turning on the oxy+power

loud noise :(

works out the sound mechanic pretty well. Seems pretty set on the alien echolocation thing. First headcrabs, now the Tentacle

Blaze-orange,, that's a FREEMANISM

laughs once he's out of immediate danger

has seen some of the Godzilla movies!

the cynic in him maintained despair in the scientists doing work here

Ashton? This name is associated with shitty pranks. Specifically shitty pranks.

NOW he wonders about the water depth when trying to break his fall with it

prepared to have a breakdown if nothing helps his goals

bothered by how unhygienic the vents are

underwater mumbling!!!

wants to throw up but figures this is not the place to do it

pretty sure he's just putting the zombies out of their misery

e17

Desc: professes that Stark talks to his "dark side" in this one

new titlecard! Very anime

LOVES when potential avenues of escape are cut off /s

he's just so jovial about everything (he sounds on the edge of tears)

oh yeah he's acknowledging that he's doing his whole "descent into madness" thing and that he's got to cut it out. That he can turn that on and off is. Concerning.

anticipates being ACTUALLY completely mad in about five hours

considers himself the wrong man in the wrong place

made a pun on accident but isn't too fussed about it

definitely had a bit of an issue breathing in the wind tunnel

purposeful pun!

takes a moment to breathe and take stuff in

either shakes himself off or gets a bit dizzy at the top of some stairs

has not been shot at before!

getting the gamer's mindset (more bodies = more important)

remains unconcerned about the headcrabs. I'd genuinely consider those the biggest threat in the building always

choked by a barnacle. That sounds SUPREMELY unpleasant

he is the MASTER of hide and seek

never good at basketball before

thinks maybe someone committed suicide in a back room

considers the "still alive despite everything" thing he's got a curse

does smoke. Nicotine, to be clear

R. L. Stein mention,,

apologizes sarcastically to the tentacles for leaving them

he has lots of free time AND blood on his hands! :)

reasons the scientists turning on the power are dead

personally thinks the matter of saving people here is a lost cause but wants to try anyways

trying to not kill things so he doesn't go mad faster

thinks the sleeping houndeyes are cute :)

hopes 2010 doesn't have him kickstarting the second apocalypse. This is in reference to the New Year, so it's 2009! Slightly after Homestuck released if i remember ResCas day properly

references some guy who. Sent out mail bombs i think?

very vanilla. Does not approve of choking as a kink

rambling and knows it

e18

has a checklist of things that happen to him when he's careless. Included: elevator breaking (which given modern regulations ONLY happens with deliberate sabotage or extensive damage)

delighted and shocked at the sight of a single living scientist

insults himself for forgetting briefly about the lambda team

still pissed about the lack of a helmet

his autobiography,, isn't going to write itself

"the ends justify the means" what if I say the means justify the ends huh?

understands he is just saying stuff recreationally

startled badly by some guy who proceeds to be rude to him. Stark ceases to act like he cares about the guy

doesn't have a great sense of smell

worried about what the military will do with more time.

not in the mood for internal bleeding >:(

familiar with bond villain stereotypes

thinks he comes up with cool ideas. wishes he'd become a director

Dr. Gordon "opiate plus alcohol equals heaven" Freeman

wonders what Freeman is doing right now. Seems to wish him poorly

says "stifled" like someone who's only read the word and never heard anyone say it

tries to say a cool one liner but distracted by HOT ROCKET

familiar with Predator but is more of an Alien man

familiar with the story of David and Goliath. Fancies himself David.

e19

gets mad at stupid questions easily

wishes the military would have to deal with this kind of bullshit

thinks no one can both aim to survive and work towards good at this time. Continues to work towards good.

"haven't discussed the details of my contract with the cosmic overlords who have granted me partial amnesty" hm...

resurfaces for half a second "heycooliwa" sright!

abandons a room full of burning waste on account of Smells Bad and Bad For Lungs

the homiest room in the game, toxic waste turbine river, does not appeal to him

pessimistic about a door working and opening

hits it with a crowbar a bunch and leaves when it fails to work

has seen so many OSHA violations today

understands that you CRAWL on thin suspended things. Lower center of gravity = better balance

his heart has had numbers done in it today

makes a bunch of goofy alliterative nicknames for the radiation river

insists a grate stopping his progress is TREASON

doesn't work out every day or anything like that, but he's not out of shape

keeps forgetting to ask for a map. WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE

hates the work harder not smarter slogan

claims he thinks gravity can't do anything to him because he's killed a giant

glad he has to deal with radiation less right now

"the n in fun stands for nuclear!"

unnerving noise! he's Bothered.

e20

wants a MAP.

he was joking about a trend of fighting giant monsters before. Now? Probably will have to fight one.

"Ey, look, there's Stark, let's just paparazzi him to death," complete with bad brooklyn accent

not sure how many times bad design has stymied him

snarks at a no smoking sign. cites definitely not needing stress relief

"hoo-ha or whatever"

ignores the gargantuar lighting up some soldiers aside from the flamethrower hands

tells some vortigaunt that they're trespassing

thinks he's being paranoid right now but it's warranted

uses his tripmines to keep any ambushes from happening

low on ammo :(

going to look for medical supplies to help out that guard. Completely forgets the medkits by the magnum rounds from earlier

considers the headcrabs annoying now, not outright dangerous. Which. Hey. No they're the worst thing here.

wondering why the HEV suit keeps track of his ammo

SO pissed off and he can't even sue

thinks the grenade launcher will be interesting to use. Thinks he shouldn't use it in small spaces

not taking some marines guns because Body Fluids

doesn't want to deal with androids

does not think highly of soldiers. Says they don't care for their victims. Also says the feeling is mutual.

#stark's mind #vincent stark #mindverse #rmanotes

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ninjatech1 · 2 months

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bitchesgetriches · 1 month

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{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Self-Care

Take care of your body

Why You Should Take a Break: The Importance of Rest and Relaxation

I Think I Need to Go the Emergency Room?

Run With Me if You Want to Save: How Exercising Will Save You Money

Your Yearly Free Medical Care Checklist

Ask the Bitches: Ugh, How Do I Build the Habit of Taking Meds?

Blood Money: Menstrual Products for Surviving Your Period While Poor

On Pulling Weeds and Fighting Back: How (and Why) to Protect Abortion Rights

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Survive in an Apartment with No Heat?

The Expensive Difference Between Recreation and Recovery

Take care of your mind

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics

How Mental Health Affects Your Finances

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

Kurt Vonnegut’s Galapagos and Your Big Brain

Everything Is Stressful and I’m Dying: How to Survive a Panic Attack

Stop Recommending Therapy Like It’s a Magic Bean That’ll Grow Me a Beanstalk to Neurotypicaltown

Making Decisions Under Stress: The Siren Song of Chocolate Cake

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Absolve Myself of Financial Guilt Over My Pricey PS4?

The Frugal Introvert’s Guide to the Weekend

Take care of your time

Stop Measuring Your Time in Beyoncé Hours

Help! I’m Procrastinating and I Can’t Get Up!

You Won’t Regret Your Frugal 20s

Actually, Fuck Big Goals

How to Insulate Yourself From Advertisements

I’ve Succeeded at Every New Year’s Resolution I’ve Ever Made. Here’s How.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

8 Free Time Management Systems To Try in the New Year

My 25 Secrets to Successfully Working from Home with ADHD

I Am So Over Productivity Porn

Take care of your career

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway?

The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job

Are You Working on the Next Fyre Festival?: Identifying a Toxic Workplace

My Secret Weapon for Preparing for Awkward Boss Confrontations

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract

I Hate My Job and I Don’t Know How To Leave It: A Confession

A New Job, a New Day, a New Life, and I’m Feeling Good

Season 1, Episode 9: “I’ve Given up on My Dream Career. Where Do I Go From Here?”

How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships

Take care of your space

How to Successfully Work from Home Without Losing Your Goddamn Mind (Or Your Job)

Leaving Home before 18: A Practical Guide for Cast-Offs, Runaways, and Everybody in Between

Ask the Bitches: I Want to Move Out, but I Can’t Afford It. How Bad Would It Be to Take out Student Loans to Cover It?

How To Maintain Your Car When You’re Barely Driving It

Take care of your people

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money?

Ask the Bitches: “How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?”

How Can I Tame My Family’s Crazy Gift-Giving Expectations?

Ask the Bitches: I Was Guilted Into Caring for a Sick, Abusive Parent. Now What?

Love in the Time of Coronavirus: How to Protect Your Community and Your Soul from COVID-19

Be Somebody’s Eliza with a Simple Yet Life-Changing Act of Kindness

The Ultimate Guide to Helping a Sick Friend

Learning To Reverse the Golden Rule

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted

Take care of your financial well-being

Ask the Bitches: How Can I Make Myself Financially Secure Before Age 30?

How to Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Ask the Bitches: Is It Too Late to Get My Financial Shit Together?

Slay Your Financial Vampires

Should Artists Ever Work for Free?

Don’t Spend Money on Shit You Don’t Like, Fool

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Financial Math

Share My Horror at the World’s Worst Debt Visualization

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

A (Somewhat) Comprehensive List of Fun Job Perks that Won’t Pay Your Rent

We will periodically update this list with newer articles. And by “periodically” I mean “when we remember that it’s something we forgot to do for four months.”

Bitches Get Riches: setting realistic expectations since 2017!

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#self-care #mental health #burnout #health #time management #organization #procrastination #stress

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anonymityisfunwriter · 2 years

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The Twin Flame - Chapter 3: "Come In With The Rain"

"Talk to the wind, talk to the sky, talk to the man with the reasons why. And let me know what you find..."

Sam stops to look at the new ‘Cap is Back’ poster, his stomach twisting in a mix of emotions he doesn’t bother to separate and identify.

At this point, it’s just another weight added onto his shoulders, just another drop in the bucket.

The Flag Smashers.

Watching John Walker indoctrinated as the 'new Captain America'.

His best friend gone AWOL.

It was all just piling on.

He could almost feel it when he walked, each step weighed down by the insurmountable grief, by the memories marred by tragedy.

“Seems like a good guy,” Joaquin suddenly interrupts from beside Sam. “You met him?”

“No.” Sam finally tears his eyes away from the poster. "Thanks for doing this on such short notice, by the way."

"No sweat, I’m just finishing up the checklist. You’ll be all good to go once you land in Munich," Joaquin informs him, walking down the metal staircase to the plane.

Sam sighs, sparing the poster another glance. The whole Captain America thing still weighs on him, but then he remembers he's got other, more pressing matters to take care of.

He walks down the metal staircase with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He doesn't even need to turn his head to feel the familiar glare burning holes into the side of his head.

Sam stops at the foot of the steps, right into a very aggravated Bucky Barnes.

Bucky wastes no time with greetings or niceties, getting straight to the point of contention. "You shouldn't have given up that shield."

Sam rolls his eyes, continuing his walk down to the plane. "Always good to see you, Buck."

"Cut the shit, Sam. This is wrong," Bucky continues, his tone full of unspoken demands and unbridled irritation.

Sam finally halts his walk, but only to wave Bucky off. "I'm working, alright? All this outrage is just going to have to wait."

Bucky accusingly points at one of the many new Captain America posters plastered all over the base. "You didn't know that was going to happen?"

"Of course I didn't know that was going to happen!" Sam indignantly exclaims. "You think it didn't break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?"

“You know this isn’t what Steve wanted.”

"And what would you like me to do? Call America and tell them I changed my mind?" Sam rhetorically asks, a humorless chuckle leaving his mouth. "Yeah, because that would go over so well. It's been a great reunion, buddy. Be well."

“You had no right to give up the shield!” Bucky barks, stopping Sam once more.

This time Sam whirls around, his calm expression now straining to maintain composure. "See, this is what you're not gonna do. You're not going to come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights. It's over, Bucky. It's done."

Bucky's jaw clenches, shaking his head in clear disappointment.

Sam takes another moment to collect himself. With one last exhale, Sam breaks the tense silence, "Besides, I've got bigger things to worry about right now."

"What could be bigger than this?"

Sam hesitates for a moment, wondering if he should really drag Bucky into whatever Joaquin stumbled upon with the Flag Smashers.

After another silent beat, he takes the phone out of his pocket, playing the blurry footage for Bucky. It doesn’t matter that the quality is shot or that the people in the video are shrouded in darkness. There's an unmistakable ability that only one person he knows actually has.

"This guy. He’s got connections with rebel organizations all over Central and Eastern Europe. I know you saw what he did in that video… And I think there's some people trying to replicate things that shouldn't be replicated."

Bucky's eyes flicker up from the footage with a grave, almost stunned expression, "Does she know about this?"

"No." Sam puts the phone back in his pocket. "And I'd like to keep it that way. Redwing traced them to an abandoned building outside Munich, so that’s where I’m going.”

“Well, I don’t trust Redwing.” Even as Sam starts to walk away, Bucky continues talking, “Just hold on a minute.”

“You don’t have to trust Redwing," Sam tells him. "But I’m gonna go see if he’s right. Because I have a feeling they might be a part of the Big Three, which means she might be part of the Big Three.”

“What Big Three?” Bucky questions, a furrowed look on his face.

“The Big Three: Androids, Aliens, and Wizards,” Sam matter-of-factly explains.

Bucky's face drops into an unamused expression, “That’s not a thing.”

“Of course it’s a thing. Every time we fight we fight one of the Big Three.”

“Who do you think she is, Gandalf?”

Sam's eyes suspiciously narrow at Bucky. “How do you know about Gandalf?”

“I read the Hobbit. When if first came out, in 1937."

“So you see my point?”

“No, I don’t. There are no wizards.”

“Dr. Strange.”

“- Is a sorcerer,” Bucky finishes.

“Ah-ha! Wizards are just sorcerers without the hat,” Sam triumphantly nods. “That was good, I just came up with that. But that’s not the point. We don’t know what we’re dealing with."

"Then I'm going with you," Bucky decides, following Sam as he tries to walk away again.

Sam stops again, shaking his head at Bucky, "No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

Sam looks up at the ceiling, quietly groaning in defeat. His eyes flicker back to the determined look on Bucky's face, and he wordlessly turns to walk up the ramp of the small utility jet.

It's quiet once they're both aboard the jet. No words are exchanged, not an single murmur of small talk or friendly catching up. It's a tense and heavy atmosphere as they both stare at each other from across the plane.

Except for the loud rumble of the engine as they soar through the air, it's all deafeningly quiet.

“One minute to drop off, Sam,” Joaquin informs, breaking the tense silence.

They remain staring at each other for a few moments, before sharply standing up to retrieve their communication devices. Surprisingly, Bucky is the first to speak, "Why didn't you tell her?"

"It's complicated,” Sam cryptically responds.

"Why?" Bucky demands.

"She went rogue," Sam breathes.

"She went rogue? What? I thought she went with you to Louisiana?"

"Oh, so you did get our messages," Sam sarcastically confirms. "Good to know."

"Can we focus on the rogue part?" Bucky impatiently redirects.

"Okay, maybe rogue's a little dramatic," Sam sheepishly admits. "But she left a few months ago, right before Christmas."

"Before Christmas?" Bucky incredulously repeats.

"Are you just going to repeat everything I'm saying?"

"Sorry. Continue."

"Anyway, she said she needed answers," Sam somberly explains. "Answers that she's never had, that I've never been able to find. She wanted to go looking for herself."

"And why didn't you stop her?" Bucky protests.

"Stop her?" Sam defensively scoffs. He didn't want to defend himself to anyone, he could barely defend his own actions in retrospect. But he knew this was something that you needed to do, he knew you weren't happy, but most of all, he knew he couldn't really stop you without losing you entirely. So he just had to wait, wait until you came in with the rain. "She's a grown woman, and it's not that unreasonable of a request. She promised she'd only do recon, no field work... And that she'd stay in touch."

"So where is she?"

"And that would be the rogue part," Sam tells Bucky, popping in the small communication device in his ear. "I haven't heard from her. She doesn't respond when I call, not a text, not anything. Guess you two have that in common."

Bucky huffs in annoyance, a frown on his face as the continues interrogating Sam, "So why didn't you go after her?"

"Because she asked me not to. Either way, Torres is helping her, so he keeps me updated. Apparently, there hasn't been that much progress."

"So she's keeping in contact with Torres but not with you and that didn't strike you as odd? Like maybe you should've gone after her!" Bucky angrily rants.

"Everything about this is odd!" Sam exclaims, throwing up his hands in frustration. "But she told me that she needed space, so I'm giving it to her."

"Sam, I've never met a person who hates space as much as she does." Sam's face furrows in response, clearly unimpressed by Bucky's response but he remains wordless. Bucky watches Sam's expression, noting that Sam doesn't accept a word he's saying. "What? You're telling me she just changed her entire personality?"

"All I'm saying is things are different now," Sam solemnly mutters, standing at the edge of the plane's exit. "Everything is different now."

The Twin Flame Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

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