spiderh0rse

[spiderh0rse]

crabs are literally being forcefemmed by barnacles every day and no one ever talks about it

[spiderh0rse]

anyway here's cowboy colt

#COLT #HI COLT YOU LOOK GREAT

[spiderh0rse]

As I gaze at the structural column in Copley Station, cracked nearly in two and held together with zip ties that have been carefully painted over to match the column underneath, I feel my soul intertwined with that of a small Italian boy of days gone by, who also stopped to look up at a large, groaning, newly painted tank full of molasses

#favourite

[spiderh0rse]

NEW YORK CITY - It's a bird, it's a plane, it's not Superman, but it's the next best thing. The world was shocked this week when the first individual with superpowers began fighting crime, first by interrupting a police chase in Manhattan, and soon by declaring: the world is now safe.

He may not fly, but The Vortex is able to travel across the world with his ability to make teleportation portals. According to our exclusive interview, he discovered his abilities and vowed to fight crime last week, and after a week spent modifying several worn Korn t-shirts into his all-black superhero suit, he was ready.

It was quite a shocking sight for live TV viewers. Bam! Pow! The Vortex ended the chase by bursting from a portal inside the criminal's stomach, causing the bad guys to instantaneously burst apart into villainous goop. But when everyone realized this was no murderer, but a hero, the scene calmed down, as the responding police asked for The Vortex's autograph.

"I'm the hero," The Vortex told us exclusively. "I knew I couldn't do a bad thing because bad guys do bad things, and I'm the hero."

"So you're still working out the kinks in your powers?" Our reporter asked with a laugh.

"What?"

Children are loving this Marvel comic come to life; when a family of seven were held hostage by their uncle, the Vortex saved the day by materializing inside the uncle's bloodstream and gradually expanding, causing the uncle to distend in a manner befitting bad guys and then explode. When the youngest girl was interviewed, after throwing up from the trauma of being held hostage by her own uncle, there was a endearing little gaffe as she said "I don't know, now I think maybe it would have been good if my uncle had shot me, before -" she vomited once more; her confusion over who's the good and the bad guy can be attributed to her evil-adjacency-induced malaise.

But all is not so clean and beautiful. In Cleveland, when a deranged gunman tried to assassinate the assistant executive assistant to the mayor, the Vortex responded - but the gunman unfortunately used some unknown form of "counter-power" to relocate the portal into the executive assistant assistant's midsection, causing his separated but still conscious upper half to fall through the sky and back onto his legs. Unfortunately, he died despite this. The Vortex was quoted as saying, "it's very sad. I wanted to do that trick but I hoped they would be put back together. The evil man made it so we couldn't put them back together. But I'll do it. I'll put them back together next time."

Spoken like a true hero! We can rest easy knowing that he can appear anywhere, anytime, inside anyone, but only if they're a bad guy who's evil.

#original fiction #favourite

[spiderh0rse]

Christmas on the Enterprise-D

#stfav

[spiderh0rse]

The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

[spiderh0rse]

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

[spiderh0rse]

Can you imagine suing Boeing and coming home to find Boeing's faulty plane parts washed up in your backyard?

[spiderh0rse]

[spiderh0rse]

Absolutely begging for wall charger Barney with a chumtoad companion

Beg and u shall receive friend

Chummy’s alt ver.. Chumma

A little alert alien, can sense those innate things that someone with a ton of padding wouldn’t be able to and point them in the right direction. A loyal companion!

#hlfav

[spiderh0rse]

chumtoad and lamarr are friends. they are buddies, pals, chums, if you will. it causes barney so much stress

#hlfav

[spiderh0rse]

@y2kvr MAKE YOU LOSE CONTROL Y2KVR MAKE YOU LOSE CONTROL LETS GO

#y2kvrfav

[spiderh0rse]

Doodle request for @the-lightest-shadow !

Sorry for being a bit late on this :’D I also worked on the other requests so get ready for a few more posts tonight! ^^ Thanks for sending in a request!!! 💖

Loverboy: @y2kvr / @year2000electronics

#y2kvrfav

[spiderh0rse]

Oh Loverbooooyy!

Y2KVR by @year2000electronics​

#y2kvrfav

[spiderh0rse]

uh, rise and shine, doctor freeman. oh—! not to imply you've, eh, been sleepin' on the job. oh, no, sir, no one's more deserving than you of a good long rest. and all the effort in the world woulda gone to waste until... well, uh... let's just say, y'know, your uh, hour has come again. y'know, my wife always says the right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. so, uh... do with that what you will, mister freeman. uh—doctor, that is. i'll get outta your hair now. have a good rest of your day.

#hlfav #columbofav

[spiderh0rse]

He's so coquette 🎀

[spiderh0rse]

Don't really like that bad things keep happening to P1 Dude. I think he should be like, cozy at home on the couch watching Transformers or Bionicle or something. Leave him alone, let him be happy and cozy or something. Just 1 time.