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#And my parents did find compromises. I would get really upset when I was told to leave somewhere immediately but with a 5 minute heads up I

majimasleftasscheek · 9 months

Note

Have you played Yakuza 6 yet? If so ya got any kazumaji head canons based off the events of the game?

I absolutely love your ideas for them and I am beyond upset that Majima was barley in the game. Or even mentioned that much.

They did the boi dirty in this game, I swear.

*clenches my ass hard enough to shit diamonds*

oh I have OPINIONS about 6 I'll tell you that but it is good fodder for the kazumaji agenda 👀 I'mma be kinda rambly in this but I promise it all ties together kdjfjkldfkldf

so we all know Kiryu goes off to find Haruka and because I'm a big fan of dadjima, I can only imagine Kiryu lets him know while he's stuck in jail and Majima's just like WHAT

so Kiryu does a lot of self reflection but acting upon it is another matter. I can see Majima chastising him, saying she ran away cuz that's all Kiryu ever does (part of him is still pissy about him leaving in y3) and she's never had a healthy role model other than the king of hypocrisy. Kiryu would go on about how it's just to protect people yada yada but Majima would be like my guy, you left a bunch of kids in the care of your daughter who should not be parenting for you. you refuse any and all help because you think you can do it all on your own. you left me with Daigo who you said I wouldn't be babysitting AND YET—

I just want Majima to absolutely rail into him about how self serving he's acted despite better intentions. like of course Haruka ran away, look how much pressure she was under, what she went through in the idol bizz (maybe I'm a loser but I did not like Haruka's part in y5 that shit icked me), what you (Kiryu) do every time you feel like a burden to people. how naïve it was to think any part of Kiryu's past would leave him behind just because he wanted it to. how his lone wolf thing impedes on everybody else. how in 5 he literally says he needs to stop running from his past and he does it anyway. this game FRUSTRATES ME rrhrrhhrhrr KIRYU FRUSTRATES ME ACK. but also I have a thing for Majima just being angry at him, to actually lash out and spew all those feelings of being left behind or being refused to let help because Kiryu's stubborn. how he let himself be used all those years to help Kiryu out just because he asked and now once again Kiryu's off on his own, never changing his tune about how he doesn't wanna rely on people. Majima's not perfect either and frankly he communicates like shit too but I just want that RAGE to get out and explore how Kiryu would hear him but never listen. makes it all the more tragic when he finds out Kiryu "died."

*tho I must note, as much as it does irritate me, 6 makes sense entirely for Kiryu's character lol. nothing he does in it surprises me in the slightest so while I'm not a fan of the story, it's pretty fitting for him since he's the downfall of his own story half the time. and it's not so simple as just saying Kiryu's to blame. he's constantly forced to deal with shit just as much as he wants to be left alone. he struggles and he tries hard I'll give him that. I don't think he's a bad person for what he aimed to do in 6 but he's not infallible either. and sometimes it's just par for the course. like how he makes the compromise at the end of the game to disappear so his family can be at peace all the while in his history, he's had major problems doing what he's told - never truly disappearing anyway, going about whatever's gonna happen in gaiden. could you imagine if Haruka caught wind that some resting bitch face motherfucker is beating the shit outta armies somewhere? could you imagine her finding out that Kiryu left again?

honestly I think his character is really interesting cuz of this. he has good intentions and I feel like to him there's some expectation that people should understand this, that people should accept his choices. I think it's fun to explore how others react to that - how it's in a way offensive, that Kiryu thinks he knows what's best and how to handle it as if he has all the power and say. how pissed people feel about him shoving them away for the sake of their safety, etc. I don't think he'd listen to Majima tbh but I think it's important that someone unafraid of Kiryu's dumbassery would lay it out how it is to him in a way that cuts, more so than Haruka, Date or like Akiyama could.

ANYWAY, Majima's mad at him lol but can't really do anything atm due to the surrounding circumstances. I like to think he's got some of the Majima family watching out for Kiryu and Haruka if they happened to see them. Nishida at least cuz ain't no one gonna arrest a cutie patootie like him. it's not much but it's a little peace of mind. Majima knows Kiryu's reckless as all hell so he's worried and doubly annoyed that Kiryu doesn't care (about his own safety or that other people are concerned for him).

so since Majima has a fat 5 minutes in the whole game, there's not much to say about his involvement overall (other than oopsie stuck in jail) but I've had some thoughts about what all the jimas³ are doing in the meantime.

all the jimas are grouped together because I said so even tho realistically they'd prolly be separated lol. Daigo and Saejima are handling things well enough but Majima's bouncing off the walls in boredom and nothing irks him more than being stuck in one spot while Kiryu's out probably getting hit over the head with a stop sign and refusing medical attention. Daigo's losing his mind but he can agree Kiryu's bullheaded and talking about that keeps Majima distracted. Saejima does his part in trying to get Majima's mind off things now that they have all the time in the world to catch up on whatever.

time passes and I'm rewriting the part in 6 where they show up at the end cuz I live in a fantasy world.

Kiryu "dies" and suddenly the three of them are released early, no doubt knowing his death had something to do with it. Daigo gets Kiryu's letter and Majima makes some joke about Kiryu's literacy but a quick scan of the letter makes Daigo's face drop. he reads it and Majima doesn't think it's real. he doesn't know how to feel. even Saejima is in disbelief. but the letter is vague. it's conjecture written by Kiryu of his own death so there's a chance he's fine. Kiryu's fine, he's always fine. he's been shot and stabbed a million times, he's fine.

but it's not long till it's confirmed by Date. Daigo's skeptical cuz his inner punkass doesn't trust cops. Saejima's on the same page but Majima's in full denial whilst also believing it to be true. his reaction is immediate and violent. he wants something to be done, he wants revenge but Daigo wants to follow Kiryu's wish to avoid war. Majima's so outraged he frankly couldn't give less of a shit about Kiryu's wishes so it's up to Saejima to wrangle him back *insert a dramatic fight here.* Majima gets his ass beat and he's just a mess. things move fast though - the fate of the clan is up in the air and he just couldn't care. but Daigo needs him and for that he pulls it together, just barely.

fast forward to when the jimas go into hiding. they get set up in a lil safehouse via Nick Ogata. I like to see it as a basic bitch type of place, very out of the way, very ignorable but the inside is nice enough. they have to stay cooped up as much as possible and it drives Majima insane. he's fidgety, always pacing. Saejima tries to calm him down and it works for a time until Majima falls into another slump and repeats.

they took a few things with them that they could, mostly small stuff, some clothes and the like. Majima brought along a few of Kiryu's things, namely some pocket cars and a shirt. he wears it often, being very against washing it. Daigo's too stressed to notice but Saejima watches Majima just break down into someone he doesn't know. he's tired, closed off, guilt ridden. Saejima starts to think this is who Majima was after getting out of the Hole. a shell of a person taking blame for things out of his control. losing the will to care for himself as some sort of self imposed punishment for not doing more. seething in silence in the powerlessness.

his beard grows scraggly, his hair is unkept and the circles under his eye grows darker everyday. his behavior mimics his Sotenbori days where everything was for Saejima, all he could think about was Saejima, how he failed him, how if he tried hard enough he could see him again. it's not the case with Kiryu though. he didn't even get to see the body himself.

he's always on his phone reliving memories through photos and conversations. he freaks out when anyone touches the pocket cars and eventually the shirt gets worn out. he's spiraling while the others look on, unsure how to deal with someone whose entire personality revolves around having a fake one.

Saejima takes initiative. maybe he's seen Majima like this before or maybe he hasn't. doesn't matter because he gives Majima a bit of tough love, telling him to get a grip. telling him that Kiryu wouldn't want to see him like this and, under his breath, he needs him in better shape so they can beat the shit outta whoever was responsible. it's not easy of course. it takes Majima awhile to learn how to live again and frankly he doesn't want to talk about Kiryu but Saejima forces him to - to get comfortable with mentioning him, enjoying the memories they had. letting him know it's okay to be vulnerable. it's not a kind or pleasant recovery but it's there. it's helping.

and perhaps some time under supervision, he goes to see Haruka and meets Haruto for the first time. he tries to keep a strong façade for her but she can see right through him and gets one of those rare moments where he's just quiet. where he's real. she catches him up on things and it's a rough one for the both of them, especially since he has to keep the visit short. she doesn't bother asking him where he's going afterward but he promises to keep in touch and that he does. she sends him a lot of photos and videos of the family and he backseat-parents Yuta whenever possible. Haruka's never been a fan of always having Kiryu at arms length but this arrangement helps her deal with the long distance since there's effort on both ends to stay close.

Majima's not used to having others around to help him cope but he eases into it decently enough without the Tojo Clan on his shoulders. he even gets along better with Daigo who has time now to focus more on himself and the grunge within his soul. he's a silly lil dork and that charm reminds him of Kiryu but in a way that doesn't send him spiraling. he starts to see all reminders of Kiryu in a more hopeful light, one that brings back his energy. for most of their home confinement, Majima wouldn't even go out as Goromi since half his confidence came from Kiryu's support. but now and then, with Saejima and Daigo backing him, he can tiptoe a bit back into his fav dresses, ones that Kiryu gave him, ones that hurt to put on because of the baggage they carry. he doesn't even have his wigs anymore so he assembles what he can, how he can into something he knows Kiryu would have called pretty regardless. it stills hurts but it helps.

but, he'll always dip back into the pain of it all. missing intimacy and things taken for granted. he regrets his last words with Kiryu were criticisms knowing he's not perfect himself. maybe he's faced with realizations that he can't survive without certain people, that his attachment issues are brought to the forefront for everyone to see. it's ugly and embarrassing and for the first time in a long time he feels very seen. death's always been a reality for him and he's never cared much for it in regards to himself but losing someone so close, so suddenly? without closure or goodbyes? he's forced to deal with the frailty and mortality of someone he thought was invincible.

and it scares him.

#oughoghg messy messy messy #postLAD I imagine the mess is even worse and love it so much even if it makes me shit and cry and throw up #my hcs #kazumaji #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #saejima taiga #my art #dojima daigo #goromi

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shadowbrightshine · 4 months

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idk if this is too personal, but how did you figure out you were ace?? I'm asking as an ace person who is curious about other ppls experiences

My experience is kinda funny!

My friend mentioned being ace, assuming I already knew I was back a bit before covid.

Incoming long post and a tiny bit of tmi for me.

I, a Christian girl in a small town who had barely any friends and also wasn't on the internet proper yet, had absolutely no idea what that was.

Eventually I found my way into learning all about it and my heart soared.

It took about a year for my family to really accept my identity. They mostly worried it would take over my life and that I wouldn't feel like I could change later on if I set my sexuality in stone. But now my family is on board. (I'll explain that in a minute. )

Now as for how I came to be like this?

I've always known I didn't want to do the same things as my peers did. Undiagnosed adhd until 2nd grade and autism in 6th explained some of it. But not all of it.

I was in 3rd grade when I discovered what adoption was via A Series Of Unfortunate Events. That series got me to love reading, and sparked my early interest in darker writing. Also taught me tons of words that some people are still as an adult surprised I know.

I declared I would adopt tons of children at that age. In fact I daydreamed about buying an entire orphanage and being the best mom in the world. I thought about all those kids who needed a home and I wanted to help. I also loved Meet the Robinsons and it made me want to adopt even more.

My parents gave me the sex talk. They didn't do whatever the birds amd bees is, I still have no idea what that is even now. They didn't go into a ton of detail obviously, I was like 10-12 I can't remember exactly. But they explained the "girl parts" and "boy parts" fit together to make a baby. (I learned the rest when I was a little older)

I thought it was gross. The idea of anyone's parts going in me made me feel kinda sick. It solidified my stance on adoption. I didn't want to have sex. I wanted to adopt kids because I didn't want to have them. But I did want to be a mother.

Growing up it was often chalked up to me not having hit puberty yet, me being young, and that I'd grow out of the adoption thing once I was a teenager.

It didn't. In fact once I hit puberty I wanted to have kids even less. My parts work, and feelings are feelings. I get horny, and I hate it because I don't want to have sex.

(Unfortunately for me, maybe tmi but I have bigger and longer labia, those protect the area but also have a lot of nerve endings. This leads to a lot of accidental stimulation and overstimulation from literally sitting on a hard chair. I can get sore riding bikes like the old newspapers claimed would happen to normal women. Pair that with autism, it's not fun.)

But the truth was I wanted to have sex less and less as I learned more and got more of a picture of how it works. The idea makes me feel bad. I don't want to look at a dick, ever. (I'm aware this may need compromise once I'm married. But I won't be having penatraitive sex even then. It limits my options by a lot but, I have plenty of time to find love)

Circling back I often made up crushes so people would stop asking me. I told other kids I had a crush on Einstein because he was dead so no one could tell him. I picked a random boy in 4th grade and forced myself to pretend I had a crush on him. I didn't really ever talk to him, but he was smart in my math class and he didn't make fun of me so I figured that would work. The closest to crushes over had were always on fictional characters, people who I couldn't upset or hurt or meet.

I never understood crushes. I do feel romantic love, in fact I've dreamt about falling in love for a long time. I experience aesthetic attraction, but the feeling I feel towards pretty humans is the same I feel towards a pretty painting. I recognize the beauty and then move on. Clothing stands out more to me than looks. This isn't meant to be a 'other people are shallow' thing. I do wish I understood how others felt like that. It looks fun. Now some of this is likely me being autistic as well.

Anyways. Once I learned I was ace, and accepted that for myself, things got easier on me. I felt so good to have a label for this.

Especially in high school. I finally had a fast way to let people know that I don't want to hook up. Not that anyone asked. I'm happy with how I look but I'm hoping I grow more into my mother's beauty because face wise I'm nothing special. (I've uh actually been complemented about my figure a few times though and that makes me very happy) I'm happy with how I look, but I know I don't turn any heads.

A few months ago my mom admitted something to me. She was actually relieved to learn I wasn't going to have kids.

My family has a ton of genetic health problems going up to 5 generations back on both sides. No, not because of weird interfamily relationships, because of unlucky genetic carriers and just plain bad luck. My dad has a degenerative condition, and my mother's side has had a variety of heart problems going back generations. Bad heart problems. My mom has hip displaisa, a partially fused spine, Hashimotos, allergies to nightshades, penicillin, mold, blood pressure problems, chronic migranes, chronic hip problems, and more. She has to take at least 7 pills daily, and none of them are pain meds.

All three of her children had to be delivered via C-section. I was born almost 3 1/2 months early. Turns out it was Preclampsia. That probably contributed to me being born with autism. Mom has never made it to full term with a child. If she had tried both of us would've died.

She said she's worried about what might happen to any children her kids might have. Especially the women in the family because (kinda obvious) that's where most of the genetic problems are coming through. Her mom had heart problems, her grandmother had heart problems, her great grandmother, and possibly farther but my mom's side didn't keep good track of the family tree. So she worries more about her daughters in that regard.

She says she looked into the Bible and also saw that God calls some to lives of celibacy. Which technically would be me. I plan to die a "Virgin".

She knows how much I want to be a mom, and she's supportive of me adopting one day. My dad doesn't talk about it but he's not against it anymore.

It was really nice to know she worried about that because I've been worrying about what might happen if I ever tried to have kids of my own for years. I always knew my parents had health problems. And from as young as 8 years old I worried about my baby getting really sick if I had one. I didn't want to have a baby but I still worried that if I did they'd get super sick.

I've always lived my life with the intention to adopt children from the time I learned about it. And when I learned how expensive it is, I adjusted and planned on making more money to afford the fees.

When I learned I was asexual it made me so much happier.

And it also made it easier to engage with kink content. There is plenty of kink that doesn't involve the private parts which is fun! Sorry if that's also tmi.

So... yeah! That's my story. Or some of it.

#shine post #im ace #asexual spectrum #actually asexual #asexual adult #ace #asexual #asexual journey #answers #ask me anything

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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You have such an entitled attitude in that last ask about the dming question. Like talk about unrealistic expectations?? “Oh yeah I need friends that understand I disappear randomly and can’t be bothered to forewarn them mid conversation”

Hi anon,

Normally I wouldn’t respond to hate but it feels important to point out that what you’re calling “entitled” is actually me having healthy boundaries for interactions. My boundary is that I need to not be made to feel guilty for not replying right away because lately I’m unable to keep up one on one conversations. My energy levels are so drained. It can take me hours to reply to a friend and then talk for a few minutes and then not reply again for another couple.

My current friends understand this and are okay with it.

But you do raise a point and that isn’t something that works for a lot of people. Me disappearing mid convo could really upset them. This is an example of conflicting needs. That situation hasn’t come up yet but if it did, we’d talk about it. It might be better if I didn’t reply at all unless I knew we could talk for a bit, move to a voice call (this is more relaxed and less draining for me), they might feel better if I randomly offered reassurance without them asking. My energy levels are better at night. Maybe I’d send them nice messages to wake up to. But this still might not work for them and that would be okay. Sometimes our needs conflict too much and we can’t compromise and we find out we aren’t compatible as friends or whatever else.

So while I don’t appreciate the tone in this ask, I did want to answer because it’s a really good real life example I can provide to followers of how our needs may conflict with others. And that doesn’t mean either person is wrong. And I also want to point out that there’s a difference between entitlement and healthy boundaries.

Sometimes entitlement is someone trying to enforce their boundaries (it’s a really fine line) but they’re doing it in a way that dismisses everyone else’s.

I’m not an expert but my take is entitlement is usually expecting things in a forceful/demanding way even if it negatively impacts the other person. This entitlement can also be seen by them as “setting boundaries”.

We need to remember that our needs/wants don’t out weigh someone else’s and that compromise may be needed. An entitled person expects that everyone adhere to what they want and is often not willing to discuss how to make things work for everyone.

(Example: one roommate cannot study with noise. The other roommate can only focus on studying with music. The roommate who cannot study with noise would being acting entitled if they told the other roommate that “you aren’t allowed to play music at all anymore!” Instead, they should approach the other roommate and talk about the situation. Express a boundary for needing quiet time to study and figure out how their needs can both be met. Maybe there’s certain times the other roommate will not play music. Maybe they take turns going elsewhere to study. Maybe there’s another solution. But in this situation, the roommates ideally work together to meet both their needs.)

Boundaries are setting rules so you are not negatively affected, often with the expectation of limiting/changing the relationship/contact if boundaries are crossed (example: A young adult has given their parent a key for emergencies and has told their parent it’s for emergencies only. The parent decides to use the key anyways to snoop when the young adult isn’t home. As a result, the young adult might take the key back, or even go low/no contact).

Entitlement feels like it’s a “only my boundary matters and I don’t care if it crosses yours!” They can often get forceful/demanding (this isn’t to say you shouldn’t be more forceful if someone intentionally oversteps your boundaries. There’s a big difference between someone intentionally stepping over your boundaries and you reacting to that verses someone being forceful/aggressive right off the bat with no regard for how others are affected.)

Healthy boundaries can sometimes, like I’ve shown, conflict with another. Sometimes that requires compromise. Sometimes incompatibility is reality and the relationship needs to mutually end.

I rambled a bit but it’s a big topic.

While my situation is a bit different because I don’t have a relationship with anyone who might dm me, I’ve put my boundaries out there in advance and they have a decision whether to engage with me or not in the first place. It’s not hurting them to be warned of how I am in conversations. It’s giving them information to make a decision for themselves. If I was friends with someone and our boundaries clashed, we’d work on making a compromise if possible.

TLDR: I don’t think my boundaries are more important than someone else and would work at compromising to meet my needs and the other persons. That’s not entitlement.

#april answers #tw hate

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wyrmskulls · 6 months

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End game spoilers.

Here is what happened for me and how I feel.

I had shit for Charisma as a Monk sooooo I had a rough time with Companions.

1) Wyll broke his contact, we saved his dad, and I made the choice not to go after the Dragon, my thought being- I think we have this without help. let leave the dragon for the next threat. (He was just one line at the docks in the end.... so not sure there. still wanna toss his dad in the harbor ngl)

2) I let Shadowheart make all her own choices. She chose not to kill the Nightsong, she choose for her parents to die. (My partner got her to keep her folks alive in their run.... and that felt better to me. so, oops.) She wasn't at the dock at all in the end weirdly.

3) I always told Karlach to live, I noticed the thing Companions asking for is not the choice they need but the choice they want. So I kept telling her No, bitch you are going to live. Only for her to die on the docks. I at some point started thinking about irl people who want to die thier own way... and I'll admit the thought of begging her to stay instead of just being with her as she died, sounded so selfish to emotional compromised me. (but this still feels really bad)

Those were the 3 of the main 6 not in my party, the whole game. I did pull them into the party for their story's where possible. These 3 had the lowest approvals but they were far from negative.

4)Laezel was hard, she was in my party the whole game but I didn't do the temple/creche by the time I went to go do it, Halsin was threatening to leave the party if we left the Shadowlands. So that all fine, but I really wanted to make it up to her, we got the orphuc hammer but had no way to the prism till the last minute. It was free the prince then or never. We freed him, only for him to get mad we didnt do it sooner. I was like, um, we couldn't break your bonds without the hammer we went to do get. So even your honor gaurd would have failed. Needless to say I was miffed, only to find out we NEEDED an illithad to over power the brain.... and the choice was the prince or me. Sorry bud but it's YOU. So at the end on the dock He gale Laezel his dragon and asked her to free their people and for Tav to kill him. This weird, but again was what laezel said she wanted, in my head such a strong warrior could do worse then becoming the rebel leader, so I let her go. Again it left selfish to ask her to stay while her people suffered, and I was still torn on the asking me to sacrifice Tavs soul for everyone on top of the rest of it.... so not 100% happy here either.

5)Astarion I romanced his ass, and convinced him not only are his siblings and the souls trapped for the ritual like him, but Tav was like them. This felt good at the time... but him running for cover on the docks and everyone being fine with is SUCKED. had a after scene with him, we agreed to look for a way to walk in the light together. it was sweet but my contingency plan was gale annnnd-

6) Gale. I'll admit having an Ex saying kys was like enrageing for me. I was mad, even when Gale wasn't, I was mad cause Gale wasn't. And I held that anger. I think I picked too many 'tell Mystar to fuck herself' options cause that turned quickly into "I want to be a God too" and like, NO Gale. You are a good human, and Gods are NOT people. I like him as people, I would want him or Astarion on a power trip, I like them as they are. So it was upsetting to see Gale continue to be sure he'd take the known for himself. I passed a DC 30 check to try and conive him not to do the thing, only for him on the docks to be like "I'm going fishing for the crown, and I'm disappointed you don't support me" I didn't change my mind.... ((to be fair I've been dressing him in drow camp wear and this

most of act 3.... so I was dressing him for the evil God job he wants the whole time)) I'm the most unhappy about this ending honestly.

yha I could scum save and try to alter it, but I've been trying not to, and this is where I'm at. But now weirdly I'm looking back at Gale and liking him less because of it. He was so helpful in fights and just a joy, but now it feels weirdly like betrayal, like he was pulling an Astarion all along.

I know he wasn't but that's how it feels he feel bad now in a weird way.

that's Mt thoughts firt play through time for a durge run so I can take some more Spoiler tags off lol.

#bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #wyrmskulls #spoilers #end game

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dessarious · 3 years

Text

How the Sirens Adopted a Ladybug Pt5

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

They ate mostly in silence with Ladybug refusing to look at any of them. The Kwami were all cuddled up against her obviously trying to offer emotional support. Every time she managed to calm herself down Selina would look over at the girl and her rage would build up again. She was going to have to find an outlet for it in order to stay here.

“So why haven’t you asked for help from the European Justice League?” The full body flinch she got in response gave her a target for that rage. She mumbled something that Selina couldn’t hear. “What was that?”

“I don’t think they believed anything was happening. Eventually they just told me that if I couldn’t handle butterflies I shouldn’t consider myself a hero. They had real problems to deal with.” Oh she was definitely sicking Bruce on those idiots once she figured out what was going on. “In their defense once I cast my cure there’s no visible damage so unless one of them had been here during an attack it really doesn’t seem real.” Great, now she was making excuses for heroes who absolutely should know better.

“I don’t care what they thought, that’s unacceptable behavior. You mentioned something about others that were helping you?” She flinched and curled in on herself.

“You should tell them. Plagg’s right, I think they can help.” Most of the other Kwami looked surprised at Tikki’s words. Ladybug somehow just seemed to get smaller.

“Kiddo, the three of us are the last to judge, trust me. We just want to help.” Harley’s voice was gentle and the girl peeked at her before looking back at her hands. Plagg flew up to her shoulder and was whispering in her ear. Eventually she took a deep breath and pulled her knees into her chest.

“At first it was just Chat Noir and me. It was okay for a while. He was always goofing around and flirting but he was there. But things happened and he didn’t want there to be secrets even though it was for our own safety. The Guardian chose what information we got when and he trusted me more than he did Chat, especially the more he pushed. He let me choose temporary holders and that just pissed Chat off more. He started becoming unreliable. Not showing up to fights, spending patrols trying to convince me to reveal my identity. Then he revealed himself to the other holders and got them to do the same. I refused and he convinced the others that I wasn’t trustworthy. I had to take his Miraculous. Too many people knew who he was. After that I couldn’t use any of the others even if they had been willing and I didn’t know anyone else I could trust. Then the Guardian… he got sick and turned his responsibilities over to me. So now I use whichever Miraculous I need for any given battle.”

“And what about your living situation?” She shook her head but it seemed more like an automatic reaction than an answer.

“That could compromise my identity.” Plagg and Tikki both flew in front of her face with their arms crossed.

“You need to tell them. Keeping your identity from Chat and the others was necessary and as we’ve seen showed good instincts on your part, but this is different.” Tikki’s voice sounded encouraging but strained. Their worry was obvious.

“But-”

“No buts Kit.” Plagg pointed to Selina. “She’s one of mine and there’s no malice toward you in any of them. We’re done watching you suffer alone. Not to mention you haven’t had a chance to breathe in months let alone grieve properly.” Selina shared a confused look with the other two. Plagg referring to her as theirs was odd but she was more worried about the grieving comment. Tears welled in Ladybug’s eyes and she shook her head again.

“I can’t.” The words were choked and the rest of the Kwami cuddled further into the girl while Plagg and Tikki just looked at each other.

“Will you let us tell them?” She hunched in further on herself but before she could say anything Tikki let out a string of what sounded like curses. Selina had no idea what language it was in. “There’s an Akuma.” Ladybug let out a tired breath.

“What time is it?”

“School just started. Which one do you think it is this time?” Plagg’s snark just got annoyed noises from all the Kwami. Ladybug stood and started towards the window. “Kit you’re not transformed.”

“Oh right.” Tikki disappeared and there was another flash of light around the girl.

“Why don’t we go with you? I’d like to see exactly what’s going on.” She frowned in thought.

“If you want, but I need you to stay back and not interfere. It’s bad enough trying to keep the others out of harm's way and I really don’t have the energy to look after anyone else and still defeat the Akuma.” As soon as she said it she was out the window.

“What do you think she meant by others?” Harley sounded like she had a guess at the answer, but wanted someone to give her a different one.

“I have a bad feeling that her former help are still trying to pretend they’re heroes. That or they’re actively trying to sabotage her. Or possibly both.” Given what had been said about Chat Noir, she wouldn’t be surprised.

“We should head out and find a good vantage point.” Ivy was just staring out the window but it seemed like she was looking inward.

“I just need to grab my jacket. And for now we respect her wish for no interference, unless it’s a matter of life and death for her, agreed?” Harley and Ivy both gave a nod but neither looked happy about it. Ten minutes later, as they stood on a roof watching Ladybug taking hits for a bunch of idiots who wouldn’t leave the area, Selina wasn’t either. As soon as the fight was over they moved in closer to see what the morons had to say for themselves.

“Looking a bit ragged there M’Lady. Are you ready to admit you were wrong yet? All I want is an apology and a reveal and things can go back to the way they were.” Selina had to grab Harley to stop her from lunging at the boy who spoke but Ladybug shot him a flat look.

“Go back to what exactly? You refusing to respect my boundaries and throwing tantrums during a fight, or you just not showing up at all?” The boy sputtered indignantly and she turned to leave but a different one, the one who’d been possessed started yelling at her.

“Aren’t you even going to ask what upset me so much I got Akumatized? You used to actually care about people.” Ladybug just crossed her arms and waited. “Someone I thought was my friend just moved away without telling anyone! Can you believe that?” That just brought a confused look from the hero as she scanned the others assembled. For some reason that seemed to annoy the girl more. “Marinette! She just up and left without telling anyone!”

“I’m sorry, did you all just now notice she was gone?” Disbelief was the main thing in her tone, but there was hurt there as well.

“What do you mean just now? Don’t act like it’s our fault she decided to bail on her friends.” Ladybug was just staring at all of them like they’d lost their minds.

“Some friends considering it took you six months to notice she was missing in the first place.” There was a blonde girl leaning against a nearby building that Selina would swear wasn’t there a minute about.

“She’s not missing. Her parents sold their business and the family moved.” The blonde looked like she was going to fire back but Ladybug spoke first.

“Believe what you want, you always do. This is not something I’m going to stand here and argue about. I’m sorry you feel hurt but there’s nothing I can do to help the situation.” She tried to leave again.

“Wait!” The blond practically jogged up to her. “I need to speak with you, alone.” Ladybug hesitated. “Please, it’s important.” The hero searched the girls face for a moment before giving a small nod. The others immediately started shouting at her so she grabbed the other girl and headed to a nearby roof. They followed silently and Selina watched as they both stood awkwardly.

“So what do you need to talk to me about Chloe?” There was a wariness to Ladybug's tone and stance, almost like she expected to be yelled at or attacked. The other girl just seemed nervous.

“A couple things. You knew Marinette was missing, do you know where she is?” Ladybug’s entire body tensed up at the question and Chloe saw it. “I’m not asking you to tell me I just… I just want to know if she’s okay. The police are refusing to look for her, claiming she went to live with relatives out of the country even though her passport hasn’t been used, and she hasn’t touched her back accounts since the day after…” She trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish the thought.

“How do you know she hasn’t… you’ve been using your father’s accounts to check the police progress haven’t you?” She just gave a sheepish shrug. “Why? You hated Marinette.” Chloe flinched.

“No I didn’t. We were rivals sure, and I was overall a bitch yes, but I never hated her. We were just so different and… I mean you’ve met my parents. I was taught from a young age that I was above everyone else and that they should be grateful for my notice. Mari… I couldn’t understand for the longest time why she stood up to me. I know it sounds stupid and I can’t really explain it better.�� She sounded frustrated but it actually seemed to calm Ladybug down for some reason. “Look, I understand why she wouldn’t want to come back to school. Those ungrateful peasants made her life a living hell, but it’s like she completely dropped off the face of the earth. I can’t even imagine what losing both her parents in an accident like that must have done to her.”

“She’s okay. She just didn’t want to be sent out of Paris, or put into the system.” It didn’t sound like a lie but Ladybug was refusing to look the other girl in the eye for some reason. Chloe was just frowning in thought.

“If you see her again… tell her I can help if she wants. I know I’m probably the last person she wants to deal with but if she needs a place to stay no questions asked, I’m offering. Daddy has a few judges that owe him favors as well so we can probably get her emancipated so she can at least get to her money without worrying about someone tracking her and putting her somewhere she doesn’t want to be.” Ladybug nodded but from her position Selina could see her fighting back tears. “The other thing I wanted to talk about…”

“Yes?” Chloe still hesitated. She looked worried.

“That comment Adrien made, about you looking ragged… he wasn’t wrong.” Ladybug curled in on herself and Chloe panicked. “I’m not say it as a criticism! Ever since those rejects abandoned you it’s obvious things have been getting worse. I don’t know what you home situation is like but it’s kind of obvious it’s less than great.”

“If you’re going to try and convince me to give you a Miraculous-”

“No! No, it’s nothing like that. I just… here.” She pushed something into the hero’s hand and Ladybug just looked at it in confusion.

“What…” Chloe cleared her throat nervously.

“I had part of my floor renovated into a sort of efficiency apartment. That key is to get in through the balcony. The door that leads to the rest of my suite has multiple locks, including bolts that go into the floor that can only be accessed from the inside.” Ladybug blinked at her, not seeming to process what the girl said. “It’s a safe place… if you need it.” There was a long pause then Ladybug lurched forward, pulling the other girl into a hug.

“Thank you.” The words were soft, almost inaudible, but the emotion behind them was heartbreaking.

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

Ko-Fi

Tags

@asrainterstellar @scorchdragon88 @arty-shadow-morningstar @toodaloo-kangaroo @solangelo252 @smolplantmum @jayjayspixiepop

#maribat #allthesalt #class salt #marinette dupain cheng #Selina Kyle #Harley Quinn #Poision Ivy #adrien agreste #chloe bourgeois #Gotham Sirens #Mom Squad

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

Introducing Your Baby To The Fans On V Live ~ Kim Namjoon

His eyes lit up as soon as you carried your daughter into the living room, taking a seat on the chair that Namjoon had pulled up beside him for you to sit on. He leant forwards, adjusting the camera one final time before clicking on the button that sent him life, quickly watching as the viewer count grew.

“Hey everyone,” he smiled, waving to the camera. “I thought I’d come and introduce you all properly to the new member of our family we welcomed.”

“Say hello,” you giggled, lifting your daughter up to make sure she was in shot. She slept peacefully in your arms, unaware of the thousands of people that were getting their first glimpse of your daughter, filling the comments with plenty of lovely comments at how cute she was.

Your pregnancy had been something the two of you kept secret until you gave birth to your little girl. Namjoon was very wary and protective of something happening, knowing that the fans would understand his decision to put his family first.

“She’s met our friends, our families, and all of the boys, so I thought there was only one more important group of people that she needed to meet, the fans,” Namjoon smiled, unable to hide the smile on his face that had been there since the moment your daughter was born.

“It’s a bit rude of her to sleep through her introduction though.”

You watched closely as Namjoon moved his hand to brush over the top of her head, carefully watching the slow rise and fall of her chest. Each time he watched her he felt his heartbeat quicken, even if she was doing next to nothing back at him.

Namjoon turned back to the computer as questions from the fans started to come in. “Have you guys got a name?” He read out. “We’ve come up with a name, but we’re not going to announce it just yet until we’ve registered the birth.”

“That was one of the things we argued the most about whilst I was pregnant,” you added, nudging Namjoon’s arm lightly. “We both had very different names that we were desperate to use.”

“But luckily in the end we managed to find a compromise,” Namjoon clarified, resting his thumb against your daughter’s hand. “Now that she’s here, I think it’s a name that fits her perfectly, when you guys hear it, you’ll see exactly what I mean.”

You sat back whilst Namjoon read through a few more questions, happily telling the fans about your pregnancy in as much detail as possible. He was a proud father, something the fans very quickly picked up on.

“Someone’s asked about the baby shoes,” you pointed out to them, “are they here?”

Namjoon’s eyes lit up as he remembered the small shoes he’d purchased and shown on his live before. “They were one of the first things I put in the nursery to make sure they were passed on.”

“They took pride of place in the wardrobe,” you told them all, rolling your eyes at the excitement on his face. “I don’t know how long it will be until she wears them, but I’m sure Namjoon will share a photo with you all when he does.”

What the fans didn’t know was the box of other things he’d bought before you even found out you were pregnant for your future child. “As soon as her feet fit in those shoes, I’ll make sure she wears them every day.”

“They’re not exactly a colour that will go with every outfit,” you reminded Namjoon, but his shoulders only shrugged.

“I’ll make it work; don’t you worry about that.”

“I’m telling you now, I’m not letting you dress our daughter, that’s my job, definitely.”

The two of you were interrupted by the wriggle of your daughter as her eyes fluttered open. Namjoon quickly took her from you so that the fans could see her awake for the first time, making sure to point out all the little details on her face that he’d fallen in love with, especially the prominent dimples in her cheeks.

“She’s got Y/N’s eyes,” he informed them all, pouting down at her as she stared up at him. “But I like to think that she’s got my smile, the dimples are definitely like mine, they align perfectly with her mouth, just like mine do.”

“Hopefully, she’s got your brains, that’s the most important quality she needs from you.”

Namjoon’s head shook as a tiny yawn came from her, poking her tongue out as she did so. “I can’t get enough of her, I just stare at her constantly, even when she’s fast asleep. I can’t wait for you all to watch her grow up, I’ll document it all for you guys.”

Once your daughter settled again, this time in Namjoon’s arms, the two of you answered a few more questions. Having left them in the unknown for nine months, you knew there would be plenty of questions coming your way, which you were more than happy to answer. With her next feed impending, after an hour, Namjoon finally brought the live to an end.

“We’ve got parent duties to get back to, but we’ll try and give you guys another update soon.”

“I’m sure you’ll see plenty of photos before we come live again, all the boys are constantly picturing her,” you told them all.

“She can’t help being so photogenic,” Namjoon joked, “she must really take after her father to have such a face as adorable as she does.”

Your head shook as many of the fans quickly came to your defence, shutting Namjoon down. He couldn’t believe so many of his fans had turned against him, refusing to look at the smug smile that was plastered across your face.

“See you guys soon,” Namjoon smiled, moving the cursor to end the live stream, shutting down his laptop once he was sure that everything was cut off.

As soon as everything was closed down, he raised your daughter in the air, blowing several raspberries against her tummy to bring a wide smile to her face.

“The fans seemed to enjoy getting to meet her,” you smiled, “I was so worried they’d be upset that we kept the fact we were having a baby for so long. But her cute face must’ve convinced them they shouldn’t be mad at us.”

“There’s no way they could have been upset for long, if we keep doing lives, any fans who were disappointed will soon forget about it.”

“They’ll be nice for us to look back on too.”

His head slowly nodded, standing up from the computer to head into the kitchen to sort your daughter out for her next feed. “I never expected them to ask as many questions as they did.”

“The fans like to know every single detail of our lives, that won’t change, even with this little one,” he pointed out to you.

“There are certainly some details that we should keep to ourselves,” you reminded him, following behind him.

“You don’t need to worry, I’ll look after you both,” he smiled.

“I know you will.”

---

Masterlist

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arhvste · 4 years

Note

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit

he analysis’ anything and everything

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused

you’re never ever late

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls

the absolute bane of his existence

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo x you #kuroo hcs #kuroo scenario #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima scenarios #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa hcs #oikawa scenarios #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!!

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lemontwst · 4 years

Text

nessun dorma | 00

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 〝 He laughed. My darling, you will never be unloved by me. You are too well tangled in my soul. 〞

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: harem x m/f!reader - the reader is gender neutral in this prologue.

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: cyoa + smut

"Are we there yet—?"

You huff, your footsteps obnoxiously heavy as you walk through the grass. Crickets and ladybugs move out of the way, annoyed by your ungraceful waddling. A moth rests on your companion's back and you lazily swat it away.

Mira gives you an exasperated look from over his shoulder, his emerald eyes flickering like there's fire inside them, "It hasn't even been ten steps since the last time you asked." he turns his head away, ignoring you when you stick your tongue out at him.

You can't help being tired after trudging behind him barefoot for what feels like hours with absolutely no indication as to where you're going. Your feet hurt, the damp summer heat of the evening is starting to let up but you're still hot and sweaty and, now that you think about it, maybe a little bit peckish too.

"Mira…"

He turns his head immediately, worried about how feeble you sound, and regards you with a stare most people would find intimidating.

His eyes are so peculiar. Like green gems that are constantly glowing. His pupils are slitted like a snake's and you've seen them shrink with displeasure and enlarge with curiosity and affection.

… His pupils are always large when he looks at you, even now as he patiently waits for your next complaint.

"I'm tired and my feet are starting to hurt… can't you at least tell me where we're going?"

This makes him stop in his tracks so abruptly you bump against his back.

"Oof—"

Before you can bring your hands up to your tender nose, Mira is cradling your face and tilting it up, clawed hands resting on your skin gently, like you're made of glass.

His face is a dispassionate mask as he checks on you, but you know him well enough to recognize the taut apprehension on his features. His thumb brushes against your cheek and your heart gives a little flutter.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" he sighs, sounding like a parent scolding his reckless child.

He slowly lets go of your face, his fingers lingering for as long as they can like they always do whenever he touches you, as if pulling away is physically painful to him. Then he kneels in front of you like he's about to propose and grabs one of your feet, forcing you to balance on one leg like a flamingo.

He brushes away the green stains of grass from your skin with his thumb, checking for scratches and blisters, looking visibly relieved when he doesn't find any.

"You humans are so fragile."

You scoff at that. Not everyone can be as perfectly impassible as him. Seriously, you've been walking under the sun all evening and Mira still manages to look like he's ready for the royal ball. His raven hair falls perfectly around his boyish features, and his face is the color of marble and completely void of any sign of exhaustion unlike your sweaty, flushed one.

… Damn his superior fae genes.

"You didn't answer my question! Again!" You pout and grab one of his horns, giving his head a little shake.

Mira chuckles—a low sound in the back of his throat—and swats your hand away, but when he looks up at you, a snarky reply on the tip of his tongue, his eyes widen and he freezes in place, starstruck.

…

"... Don't do that." He slowly stands up, and since he pretty much towers over you, your hand is naturally forced to let go of him. You completely miss the slight shiver that runs through him when your palm brushes hard against the smooth, black bone of his horn.

"What?" You tilt your head and blink as he avoids your eyes. Did you hurt him when you grabbed him? That's new, he usually doesn't mind—

"That face." He mutters, stubbornly keeping his eyes on the underbrush ahead.

…

Oh.

A faint smirk makes your lips quiver, but you swiftly adjust your expression. You cup his face much like he did a few seconds before and force him to look at you, suppressing a laugh at how utterly startled he looks.

"You mean this face?" Your long lashes flutter against your cheeks and your lips curve into a small pout.

Mira blinks once, twice—his features are lax like he's in a daze and that somehow makes him look even more handsome than usual, brow crinkled and lips parted slightly. His slitted pupils trace a slow path from your eyes to your lips. You make a kissy face at him and you think you see him blush, but you can't tell for certain because he hastily pulls your hands off him and turns away.

"You… you're tired, aren't you? I can carry you the rest of the way."

You can't help but chuckle at how awkward he sounds and how stiff his shoulders look, but you decide to have mercy on him and obediently climb onto his back when he leans down to give you easier access. He often carries you like this when you get tired from playing, lifting you like you weigh nothing in a way that makes you swoon. He used to do it princess style, but being carried like that was pretty damn embarrassing so you compromised by going with piggybacks instead.

“My hero.” you smile and nuzzle your cheek against his soft hair—you don’t need to see his face to know that he looks pleased.

…

...

“...So where are we going?”

“Deerlet—” Mira groans, still using his affectionate nickname for you even though you're really testing his patience today; you just laugh and kick your legs in response, profoundly amused by his discomfort. The silvery bells of your delighted voice join the varied sounds of the fairy woods; a small woodpecker flees from tree to tree right above you, startled by your giggles and you glance at it with an apologetic smile on your face.

Deerlet—it's what he called you the first time you met him, 'because you looked like a frightened baby deer'.

You believe him, considering how terrified you were after getting lost in this same forest all those years ago. You must have gone pale as a ghost when you saw him come out from behind a tree, dressed in black from head to toe with horns that looked like a demon's. He often forgets to mention that he looked just as surprised as you—you can't imagine he expected to find a human child so deep in the fairy forest.

Unbeknownst to you, in your panicked stumbling you had almost reached the thick wall of thorny vines that separates your village's side of the forest from the Valley of Thorns, somehow ending up on the opposite side of where you had wanted to go.

You’d completely filled out your miracle bingo card by not only finding another person in the woods, but a fae who knew how to get you back to your village and who offered to help you without asking for anything in return.

There was no particular reason why he helped you, Mira had once told you as you laid on the grass together and looked at the stars—he just found you pitiful and had an inkling you would have pestered and chased him around until he actually agreed to show you the way home. He was right, of course. Scary fae or not, you would have risked being hurt by a weird-looking stranger rather than being left all alone in the woods any day of the week.

And you were glad you met him, as he became your closest confidant and best friend after that day, always waiting for you to join him at the edge of the forest but never coming out of the treeline. He was very adamant about never visiting your village, no matter how much you begged him to come play at your house. It seemed like he didn't particularly care for humans, with you as the only exception. He didn't wish to meet your parents nor your other friends (he actually got visibly upset if you mentioned being friends with people other than him, so you quickly learned not to bring that up).

Even though Mira makes you feel loved and cared for like no one ever did before, he still hides so many things from you—you don't even know his surname, for one. You think he might come from the Valley of Thorns but he never gives you a straight answer when you ask him about it, and sometimes he just… disappears for weeks without telling you, and you never find out where he went.

You've learned to deal with all his oddities over the years, so you didn't question him today when he told you he wanted to give you an early birthday present before dragging you this deep into the woods.

He warned you he wouldn't be able to celebrate your sixteenth birthday with you tomorrow, so you agreed to spend time with him today to make up for it.

Shaking yourself out of some oddly nostalgic thoughts, you nuzzle the top of his head again and sigh, mentally kicking yourself for thinking about his secrets and making yourself sad. You can't help but smile in his hair when his hands grip the back of your thighs a little harder, a gesture most people would consider too intimate to be just friendly, almost as if he sensed your doubts and wanted to push them away.

Despite everything, you still trust Mira with every fiber of your being. That's why the macabre words he speaks next don't bother you as they would had he been anyone else.

"We're going to a place where no one will ever find you…" He trails off, his voice going back to an arrogant monotone. He might act all cool and aloof but you know he's thinking about making you happy when he picks up the pace, his long legs carrying him much faster now that he doesn't have to worry about you keeping up with him.

"... so that I can kill you without anyone knowing."

You don't care enough about your surroundings to notice how the forest goes eerily quiet. Quiet, like a watercolor painting with the colors suddenly fading to grey. The birds stop singing, the woodpecker whose chirps accompanied your banter stops talking, and the cicadas stop crying.

There's just your soft breathing lingering in the air and the light sound of Mira's footsteps against the grass.

"Yeah okay, Tsunotaro," You stifle a yawn, briefly wondering if you'll be able to take a power nap before you get to wherever Mira is taking you, "You could have told me that before we left. I didn't even get the chance to write my will."

Mira chuckles and suddenly the forest is alive again. The gentle summer wind rustles the leaves above you and caresses your face, flycatchers and wood doves sing happy little tunes and fat bumblebees buzz from flower to flower blissfully. Nature is joyous and alive all around you and it makes you even more eager to find out what Mira has in store for you.

—

You arrive at a clearing in the woods just as the twilight starts giving way to the night. The edge of the sky is a brilliant orange that fades to purple and then to blue, a few diamond-like dots already freckling the sky like someone is skillfully placing them with the tip of a brush.

But you've seen this masterpiece of a sky before, it's what's below that makes your jaw drop as Mira slowly comes to a halt.

A bed of black roses stretches as far as your eyes can see, gently swaying in the breeze, petals and leaves twinkling with sparks of fairy dust. The view looks almost unreal, like a picture from a fairytale book and you strain your eyes trying to take it all in. You think you've been to this place with Mira before, but the roses definitely weren't there last time.

"Mira—!" You sound almost scandalized as you climb down his back as fast as your limbs allow you. "Did you—did you plant all of these?!" You take a few steps towards the flowers, the grass satisfyingly wet under your feet, then turn back to face Mira with eyes the size of plates.

…

You think you're seeing things when Mira smiles. It's a goddamn genuine, happy smile. You can count the times you've seen him grin like this on the fingers of one hand. His smiles are usually just… arrogant quirks of the lips, but this? You could stare at his face forever.

"Well, I don't know if you can technically consider it planting if it's done with magic, but yes, I did."

Magic. Of course, Mira is stupidly good at magic (and pretty much everything else, you hate to admit), but this—you struggle to make a single flower grow, let alone bloom. You can't imagine that this was an easy task for a fairy as young as him.

"How long did this take you…?"

He actually seems to get a bit shy at that.

"... A couple of weeks. I could have done it faster but finding the time to come here was not… easy."

Two weeks. Your heart soars in your chest. He doesn't always have the time to play with you—he confessed to you he rarely has time for himself at all—and yet… and yet he still did all of this for you, on top of coming to see you as often as he could because he knew you were waiting for him. Two weeks.

"Oh, Mira…" You close the distance between the two of you and throw your arms around his neck, giggling at how quickly he hugs back, lifting you off the ground with his strong arms around your waist.

"Thank you, I love you!" You place a quick kiss on his cheek, not thinking much about what you're saying because you're so excited. It's not like you don't mean it, but you are a naturally affectionate and bright person, and the words ‘I love you’ fall easily out of your mouth when you're talking to your friends and family. They all accept your feelings graciously, except for Mira who always seems to falter whenever you say it to him.

You hear his breath hitch and suddenly his hold on you is so much tighter—so tight it almost hurts, but being in his arms always makes you feel oddly safe, even when he straight up squeezes you.

"I love you too, I want you to be happy for all eternity." He lowers you so your feet touch the ground but keeps you pressed against him, face buried in your neck.

"That's impossible, silly… but I am always happy when I'm with you." You run your fingers through his hair, then follow the line of a horn with your fingertips, making him shiver against you.

"...Then it doesn't have to be impossible." Mira raises his head and you stop breathing. The tips of your noses almost touch, his impossibly green eyes burning into yours with so much determination you almost take a step back, overwhelmed by how much emotion he's showing.

"Uhm...what?—" He's so close. His eyes suddenly dart to your lips and you think your heart might just collapse. But then he sighs, his warm breath hitting your lips, and pulls away, looking behind you at the vast bed of night-colored flowers.

"Nevermind. Let's go watch the stars."

You think you got whiplash by how fast he changed the subject

"Wait, what? You want to lay down on a bed of roses? Mira, those usually have thorns."

Mira ignores you in favor of stepping into the flowers. He picks one up in a fluid motion that makes you jealous at how graceful he always is, then hands it to you. You get closer to inspect the flower, and your eyebrows raise in a surprised arch when you realize the stem is completely smooth apart from a few leaves.

"I grew them without thorns," Mira suddenly glares at the flower like it's slighted him, "I couldn't have you pricking yourself on my gift. I would have to burn this entire meadow to cinders if that happened."

… You barely keep yourself from rolling your eyes. He’s such a mother hen. He probably worries about your safety more than your own mother!

…

But you have to admit it's also a little bit endearing, in a… 'play croquet with a helmet on and pillows tied to your limbs' kind of overprotective way.

"Right, let's hope I don't give myself a papercut with the leaves then."

Mira looks absolutely horrified.

"Mira no—"

—

Stargazing with him is always so relaxing. His voice is smooth and pleasant and you could listen to him talk about the constellations forever, his knowledge of the night sky as extensive as his magical prowess.

When you turn your head and see him lying there on a bed of roses, eyes to the sky as he gives you a long tirade about some promiscuous god turning his lover into a bear, you find him more beautiful than you've ever seen him.

… He's so clearly not human that it makes your chest tighten with longing.

He looks about the same age as you, but while your body has changed and developed these past few years, Mira hasn't changed a smidge since your first meeting. You know he's much older than you… but he’s never told you his exact age, so you've always quietly wondered.

He turns to you when he notices you're not listening, and when he catches your forlorn expression the words die in his throat.

He stares at you for a long time, then turns his body towards you and lifts himself up on his elbow, looking down at you with blazing emerald eyes as he rests his head on one hand.

He smells like cherries and roses, it's a familiar smell that makes your chest feel all warm and fuzzy.

"... Can I ask you something?"

Your brow crinkles at that. He's usually too arrogant to ever be afraid to say what he wants to say, but now he looks almost… anxious? Insecure? It's an expression you've never seen on him and you find it hard to describe.

"If you… ceased to be human..." It might be because it's nighttime, but his eyes seem to be glowing like campfires.

"If—hypothetically speaking—you could live for centuries like me… would you..." He pauses, then looks away with a frown. It takes him a few seconds to collect himself, but when he finally speaks again he sounds much softer, almost vulnerable.

"(y/n)..." The way he says your name makes you shiver. You hear it so rarely from his lips since he usually prefers to call you Deerlet that every time he says it you find yourself unable to speak.

He cups your cheek and admires your features, slowly brushing his thumb against your soft skin.

You're so soft compared to him. The emotion in his eyes is something akin to devotion, but more intense.

So beautiful, so fleeting.

"Would you stay with me forever...?" he mutters softly. His bright eyes roam over you, seeming to drink you in, as if to assure himself that you’re actually there with him.

...

You frown at the strange question.

Why does he look so sad…? Did something happen while he was away? Worry pools in your ribcage, your hands compelled to reach out and touch him as if he cast a spell on you.

… But you don't, because he's still waiting for an answer.

—

❥ Would you choose to live forever if it meant staying with Mira for the rest of your eternity?

⟶ Yes. Of course you would. Mira is the most precious existence in your life. You often fantasize about being young forever with him, to never grow old, to be held gently in his arms until the end of time. Knowing that this will never happen is enough to break your heart in two.

⟶ No. It’s not like you don’t love Mira, but living forever would be too much. How could you stand to watch as everyone you love slowly leaves you behind? How could you survive that kind of cold, lonely life? You can’t depend on just one person alone forever. It’s time to go home now, your parents are waiting for you.

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❥ taglist: @mirrorsandpacts @stormweaver13 @bobaryn @justsomepersons @mokkeguts @maiieus @trashmomarcya @dat-bi-bitch @lem-thebeast @mythrule @hfhgjgji @zzz-sleeplessy-soft-xxx @anicious @kae-draws-sometimes @cogitover @sammy6667 @shrimp-heads @twistedmintcandy @gyghii @akelois @maknae-lenna @chiefcashgianthero @carasketch @mayorkoopbob @linseyz @gardenondreams @andromeda-gay @equus-meretrix @the-king-of-blue @spacebabesupernova @kagicannotsee @doraconia @hello-starlight @yandere-romanticaa @skyboo @uwu-dreams @kay8675 @meltyans @drawbud @msyaoigodkanna @roseinbloom02 @hoodiedevil @ikemenisruiningme @miiluka @hello-selene94 @moondustinhislungs @nosochek-3o @epher-posts @monoshii-wasu @rosavine @bitch-let-me-die @raychel @pumpkiethepie @hypmicluvbot @theallpowerfulrosami @mmquinno @mayunnaise21 @ruvelise

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst #nessun dorma

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pradaksj · 3 years

Text

ghostin || part 2 (finale). (m.)

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ ❝Though I wish he were here instead. Don't want that living in your head, he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then. ❞

❧ pairing⟶ seokjin/reader

❧ genre⟶ angst, angst, and angst … did i say angst? + a bit of fluff? friends to lovers.

❧ word count ⟶ 18,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ major character death! sad ending. descriptions of grieving process.

❧ part of the ⟶ thank u, next series

part 1 || part 2 (final)

“H-He did the right thing,” Jimin stutters, and you were sure he hardly even believed what was coming out of his own mouth,“What he did was selfless,”he declares.

“No he broke my grandma’s heart!” Jia scowls at Jimin, “What a jerk…” she huffs, having been fully engrossed in your story.

“No he’s right,” you say, shocking Jia, “It was an act of complete selflessness and in a sense, I applaud him for being able to do it because God knows I wouldn’t have been able to,” you sigh, “But ask yourself Jimin, in a week from now would you regret it?”

He looks as if he’s about to nod his no, until you add to your question, “How about a year? Maybe two? What about three? Just how sure are you about it?”

He remains silent.

“Tell you what Jimin,” you pause, “Only if you’re one hundred percent sure that you’d have absolutely no and I mean zero regrets about your decision then go ahead and leave,” you say, and he looks at you in a confusing manner, “You heard me, you can get up and leave right now, but,” you add emphasis to the word, “if you have even the slightest bit of a doubt, then all I ask of you is to hear this story till its end.”

Jimin, who by now had grabbed his jacket from the table in preparation to leave, now hesitated. Before you went up to him, he was so sure he wouldn’t regret it… but now after hearing a part of this story of yours… that confidence was long gone. Because if history truly was repeating itself, then he wanted to know the ending to this tale.

And so remaining in his seat, a look of determination covered his face.

“Okay then,” you mutter, ready to continue.

“That night I had cried in that diner for what felt like hours. It wasn’t until the waitress had to tell me that they’d be closing soon that I remembered I was far from Seoul, and so instead I went to my parents’ house and spent the night crying in my mom’s arms. I didn’t tell her right away, but I knew that she had known. Because honestly why else would I cry that hard.

Still though, I kept my mouth shut about it for the week that I slept over there, thinking deep down in my heart that he’d come back and tell me it was all a big mistake. Because if he did, I would’ve forgiven him. Maybe give him the silent treatment for a bit, hell even make him beg a bit, but I would’ve still forgiven him nonetheless.

When I went back to Seoul, I stayed in the same apartment. I paid the same expensive rent despite there only being one person living in there now. I stayed there because every afternoon I’d come back from work with a tiny feeling of hope that when I’d walk in, I’d find him in the kitchen like I always did after work, eating God knows what.

Sadly it never happened....

In the beginning I’d have no problem visiting my parents in their home, that continuous hopeful side in me thinking I’d be able to magically see Jin at his parent’s house.

In reality the only person I’d occasionally see was his mother, who greeted me the same way she always did, acting as if nothing happened. I’m sure Seokjin must’ve told her through a phone call, but yet like the amazing person she was, she never asked me any questions about it. Never uttered his name around me, instead asking about trivial things like my career and such.

With no update on where Seokjin was, or what he was doing, it was only a matter of time in which I’d realize that things just weren't going to play out like how I imagined them to. The charming prince in my story had truly left.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and soon months turned into years. I stopped visiting my parents house as much, and ultimately began to ask them if they could come out to Seoul to visit me rather than the other way around. As going home only served as a reminder for me of what I had lost. No… of what had left me.

And so after about two years of being single, I finally began to date people for the first time in my life, until soon enough I met someone by the name of Seojun. Though it wasn’t exactly love at first sight, it was definitely my first serious relationship since my break up with Seokjin, and slowly I really did fall in love.

I had successfully forgotten about Seokjin.

At least I thought I did ….

I guess this brings us to where our story begins to end….

1999.

“My loneliness is killing me,” you whisk the batter of the cake you were making, “and iiiii,” the shiny ring placed on your left ring finger shines even under the kitchen light, “I must confess I still believe,” you pause for a moment, “I still believe,” you horribly sing the ad-lib to Britney Spears’ chart topper of a song, “...Baby One More Time”.

Out of nowhere, the music on the radio is turned down, “I think that’s enough whisking y/n,” your mom chuckles, “any more and you’ll over mix it.”

Sighing, you follow your mom’s orders.

Today was Christmas, and like every other year, you were spending it at home with your parents. Your fiancé, Seojun, who was out of town to celebrate the holiday with his family as well, would arrive in two days. It was the best compromise the two of you could make, with the agreement that the roles would be reversed for the following year.

Taking out the baked bread she had put in an hour earlier, she immediately sets it down on the cooling rack placed on the table, “You’re going to have to take these to Mrs. Kim right now,” she mentions, while cutting the bread into slices.

Silently, you nod, ignoring the drop in your stomach that you’d feel whenever you had to interact with anything that forced you to remember him.

Despite you successfully managing to forget about him in terms of your daily life, Kim Seokjin just wasn’t someone you could ever completely forget. No matter how much you wanted to.

Wrapping parchment paper around the pieces, you help your mom tie the cute little pieces of red string around it, her belief of presentation adding to the flavor still ringing true to this day.

She inspects them one more time before placing them into the woven basket decorated with many other Christmas like things, along with the two gifts she bought for the twins, “Make sure you remind her about coming over tomorrow with the kids.”

Nodding, you place your coat on and begin to make your way out, “And tell her I said Merry Christmas!”

Making a motion with your hand that you heard her well, you close the door before she can add anything else.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Ah y/n,” Mrs. Kim greets, pulling you in for a hug, “Merry Christmas,” she says.

“Merry Christmas Mrs. Kim,” you smile at her, handing her the basket.

“Come in, come in,” she insists, and reluctantly you do, “I swear everytime I see you it feels like I’m only getting older,” she chuckles, “You don’t want something to drink? Maybe some wine—”

Laughing at her enthusiasm, you say “It’s fine Mrs. Kim,” while looking around the place. She had done an amazing job at decorating this year, not like she never did, “Where’s Mr. Kim?” you ask in curiosity.

“Ah he’s not coming till later, had some paperwork he wanted to finish up at work,” she explains, and you nod in understanding.

“Merry Christmas!” two voices simultaneously yell, and immediately you're met with a giant hug from the two twins.

Eyes widening at how big they had gotten, a smile covers your face, “Now I’m the one who feels like I’m getting old,” you comment, resulting in Mrs. Kim to laugh.

The two, who had to be at least 13 years old by now, were definitely going through the phases of puberty by now.

Ruffling their hair, you recall how baby-faced they once were, only imagining how different they’d look in a couple years time.

Minjun, who now sported braces, was the first to speak, “Woah, it feels like we haven’t seen you in forever!”

Yeonha adds on, “Yeah! You’ve gotten so….” she stops herself from continuing, but you know what she wants to say.

“Old,” you finish for her, pretending to be angry by placing your hands on your hips.

She awkwardly laughs, scratching her neck, a habit she must’ve picked up from her older brother, “Of course not!” she tries to play it off.

“I’m only 25, turning 26 in a couple of weeks if you really wanna be specific, but that doesn’t make me old little lady!” you scold.

She raises her hands to her defense, while Minjun comes to her rescue, “I think the word she was looking for was mature,” he says, “I mean you’re dressed like those office ladies we see on TV,” and you’re unsure if the comparison was supposed to be a good or bad thing, but nevertheless you change the topic, not wanting to fluster them any more than they already were.

“So any gifts you two are wanting this year?” and immediately Yeonha’s face lights up at the question.

Eagerly she nods her head, “I think Santa,” she sends her mom a mischievous look, “is getting me a new beeper this Christmas,”

Mrs. Kim playfully rolls her eyes.

“Santa heard from a little birdy that your old beeper wasn’t stolen, but got dropped in water,” Mrs. Kim comments, and immediately Yeonha’s face pales.

She turns to her twin brother and smacks him in shoulder, “Hey!” he yelps, “it wasn’t me!” he scowls, “It was probably Jin,” and even by a single utter of his name, you feel your heart begin to race, “I swear, it’s like you purposely forget what you tell him on the phone sometimes,” Minjun continues to ramble on, clearly upset by the accusation of being the snitch.

“I think I should get going,” you suddenly interrupt.

“Oh but you just got here,” Mrs. Kim says, failing to notice why you were suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“Yeah!” Yeonha adds for support, “Jin’s supposed to get here any second now,” she wiggles her brows, even after all these years, still clearly unaware of the circumstances for your breakup.

Mrs. Kim looks surprised at Yeonha’s sudden announcement, “He was supposed to get here at 8,” she mumbles, a wave of guilt washing over her.

You send her a sympathetic look, knowing that it wasn’t her intention to put you in an uncomfortable position, “I’ll see you all soon, I promise,” you say, and Mrs. Kim now barely notices the ring on your finger. A subtle gasp escaping from her lips.

With your hand on the handle, you begin to open the door, “And Merry Christm—”

Stomach dropping at the sight in front of you, you feel as if a semi-truck had hit you, rendering you at a loss for words, “Y-Y/N?”

The first thing you notice about him is the length of his hair. It seemed as if he had grown it back into the mullet he first had when you met him, only this time it suited the mature aura he seemed to have.

Dressed in a black turtleneck, matched with black pants and dress shoes, you weren’t sure if you were in shock because he was right in front of you for the first time in nearly 3 years or because of how easy it was for him to get your heart racing.

It was weird really, despite his change in appearance, for some reason even now you were sure that he was still the same old Seokjin you’d always known.

Noting that you’d been staring at him in silence for quite a while, you finally manage to spew something out, “S-Seokjin,” is all you manage to stutter under your breath.

The twins share a troublesome look to one another, “Come on you two, Mom made Pajeon,” Yeonha says, pulling the two of you by your respective hands and forcing you both inside, “We can all eat and catch up,” she smiles wide and big, “I’m sure you two would love that,” she winks.

“I d-don’t,” you attempt to say something, but too flustered for your own good, you remain in shock.

Glancing at Mrs. Kim, you notice the contemplative look on her face, as if she was debating with herself in terms of what to do.

Making up her mind, she announces, “I’ll get the plates ready,” much to your dread.

Awkwardly, the two of you are seated across from another, the tension in the room only building as you wait for the food.

“Soooo……” Yeonha breaks the silence that fills the room, “What have you two been up to?” she glances at the two of you, waiting for a response.

Feeling a knot in your stomach, you continue to remain silent.

It also didn’t help that Seokjin’s gaze had remained on you this whole time. It was as if he was studying you, analyzing you the same way you had done to him. He wanted to see if you had changed.

Feigning a cough, he ultimately speaks. “Shouldn’t you already know Yeonha,” he questions her, “unless you haven’t been listening whenever we talk on the phone…”

Her face reddens, “Of course I have! You just went to Taiwan recently to consult for some business company and do those boring analyses you always do.”

He shakes his head, “Then there’s your answer,” he simply states.

“Business? So he really did end up giving up on his dream ….” you think to yourself, a bit saddened at the fact. A part of you always assumed that Jin had left you to be well on his way to stardom, that when he left you that night, he truly was being the selfish person he claimed he wanted to be.

“Y/N? …” the sound of your name being repeated brings you back to reality.

For a moment you look confused, “I said what about you?” and for the first time since your breakup, both you and Jin make eye contact, easily taking your breath away.

Face reddening, you take a while to respond, “I um—” flustering with your words , you continue, “I’m um— the head writer at the same company I worked at years ago,” you force an awkward smile on your face.

“Oh…” Jin says, “Do you like it over there?” and the question brings you back to that first car ride to the diner when you had just moved to town. His delivery of the question still as blunt as before.

“Um yeah …” you reply, fidgeting with your fingers.

He genuinely smiles, “I’m glad,” he says, “really I am,” he adds for extra comfort.

And before you could say thank you, his mother enters the dining room, the plate of Pajeon in her hand, along with other side dishes, “Here you kids go,” she places the things on the table, “Make sure you eat it while it’s hot,” she warns before making her way back into the kitchen.

It’s only until you grab the piece of Pajeon with your chopsticks that he finally notices it.

He finally notices the shiny diamond ring you sport on your left index finger.

“You’re engaged,” he suddenly announces says , face unreadable.

As if the room wasn’t awkward enough….

Gulping, you nod, “Yeah,” you exhale, “it happened a couple of months ago,” you add.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, “I’m happy for you,” he gives you a small smile. Silently patting his mouth with a napkin, he gets up from his seat, “Well I just came back from a pretty long flight so I’m pretty tired, so I think I’m gonna head upstairs,” he avoids eye contact for a moment, a sign that he was lying, “Jet lag you know?” he awkwardly laughs, “But it was nice seeing you y/n…”

Getting up as well, you decide that it was best you left as well.

“Merry Christmas y/n,” he says one final time before heading up stairs.

“Merry Christmas to you too Seokjin,” you whisper under your breath.

“Since our breakup three years before, Seokjin had never once gone back home for Christmas, which was why I felt so sure that he wouldn’t that year, but of course I was wrong. So when I told my mom she immediately began to panic for me, remembering that she invited Mrs. Kim to come over the next day, and well of course she didn’t want to be rude and rescind her invitation.

And so I told my mom that it was fine. Whether Seokjin decided he wanted to come over or not, I’d be just fine. At least that’s what I tried convincing myself of…”

“Seokjin, we’re going to be headed our way now,” Mrs. Kim yells over the blasting music. God, did Jin feel like a teenager again. “If you change your mind well … we’ll be right next door!”

He hears her footsteps going down the stairs, signalling that she was gone.

Engaged …. You were really engaged ….

The image of the ring on your finger was the only thing that remained in his mind the night before, and it was what was haunting him even now.

He wasn’t sure what came over him, you were happy, you had found love in someone else just like he’d hoped for years ago.

He should’ve been ecstatic for you … but he wasn’t.

Several questions pondered in his mind once he saw it. Who was the guy? How did you meet? When were you sure you loved him? Was he treating you better than he ever did? Could he give you the future you always wanted? Just how happy were you?

Sighing, he gets up from bed, not wanting to sulk for any longer.

He had to do something, anything, for the meanwhile that he was back home to get his mind off of this. And so grabbing his jacket, he prepares to leave, unsure of just how long he could be in the same proximity as you without doing something he’d regret.

The sounds of crickets chirping fills the air, a wine glass in your hand as you look at the stars above in the sky from the comfort of your front porch.

Inside, your parents were talking about the most mundane of things with Jin’s parents, while the kids were busy preoccupying themselves playing with their newly gifted Nintendo 64. And after getting tired of constantly losing to them, here you were, taking a break from the chaos going on inside.

Seojun was arriving tomorrow, from there you’d only be here for the remainder of the weekend and then back home to your apartment in Seoul, as if nothing ever happened. Ever since yesterday, something was eating at you. You just weren’t sure what. And the only thing you could look at to ease your anxiousness was the ring on your finger, a solid reminder that you had a future to look forward to and that the past was buried six feet under.

Taking a gulp of the drink in your hand, you mentally curse Jin. Why did he have to return? Out of all years, this had to be the one he chose to magically come back in? “Damn you Seok—”

“Y/N?” you look up to see the person you were just damning, car keys in hand. It looked as if he was originally planning on going somewhere, but must’ve walked over here once he saw you sitting here by yourself.

“Seokjin,” you say, a mixture of both shock and displeasure evident in your voice.

Relief washes over him when hearing your response because unbeknownst to you, from afar you looked as if you were completely knocked out, a result of the position you were in while you were deeply thinking. Immediately he eyes the wine glass in front of you, everything beginning to make sense.

“You looked um—” shaking his head, he disregards what he was going to say, “Sorry I’ll just get going.”

And maybe it was the wine talking, but rather than keep quiet and watch him leave, you call out to him, “You can—” you hesitate to continue, “You can sit here if you want,” you say, “that’s only if you want to of course, I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to because I’m not exactly physically capable of doing that and—”

Jin interrupts your tipsy rambling by sitting at an appropriate distance from you, a soft chuckle escaping from his lips, “You always did like getting drunk off wine,” he whispers under his breath, a small smile on his lips.

For a while, the two of you remain in silence, simply staring at the view above. That was of course until you asked him a simple question, “Where were you going?” you mumble.

Bringing his attention towards you, his eyes soften, “Just wanted some fresh air,” he simply answers, being completely truthful.

Silently you nod, “Mm that’s good,” you say, your cheeks a soft tinge of red because of the wine.

“So…”

“So…” you mimic him, causing him to playfully roll his eyes.

“How have you been?” he attempts to break the ice, “I realized I didn’t really ask you that yesterday…”

It was funny really, the two of you truly had become strangers in a sense, just like how he said you two would be that night. But in a way, it also made things more interesting, it was as if he was getting the chance to know you for the second time in his life.

“I’ve been..” you hesitate to find the right word, ultimately deciding on the simplest one you knew, “I’ve been good,” you say, “I’m doing something I love, have an apartment I completely adore, and I found someone—” you stop yourself from continuing.

“You found someone you love?” he says for you, and silently you nod, remaining silent for a moment.

“Why did you—” you pause before continuing, “Why did you become a businessman?” you ask, the question having been on your mind since the day before.

Casually, he shrugs, “There was no future in the world of entertainment for me y/n,” he states, “so I went back to college, worked my ass off, and got a degree in financial accounting. From there the job offers came pretty easily and now I’m a traveling business analyst.”

“Did you do it because of your da—”

He’s quick to nod his head no, “I did it for—,” and at the last second he changes what he was originally going to say, “I did it for myself,” and you feel yourself getting angry.

“But it wasn’t what you dreamed of, it wasn’t something you loved!” you unintentionally shout.

“Hey hey hey,” he places a hand on your shoulder, “any louder and the whole neighborhood will hear you,” he attempts to joke around, and you feel your face get redder than it already was.

Letting go of your shoulder, he looks back up to the stars, his voice becoming soft, “The night I told you about wanting to seriously pursue becoming a director, you told me that if I failed, the real question would be if I’d be able to accept it…” your gaze falls on him while he continues to look up into the sky, “At first I wasn’t able to… I was too ashamed to admit to failure, but—” he smiles, “when I finally did, it almost felt liberating. And so I realized sometimes you have to give up the things you love, for a better shot at a future.”

Bullshit.

Complete bullshit.

That’s what you want to say to him.

And so you do.

“That’s complete utter bullshit Seokjin,” you mutter, taking a sip of your drink, “because if it isn’t then that makes you a selfish person, and you’re the farthest thing from selfish. So that’s just bullshit and you know it.”

He laughs, “It is, isn't it?”

Not expecting him to agree, you look at him in shock before grouchily looking away, focusing your gaze on anything but him.

Failing to hear the brief sharp hissing sound of his zipper being pulled down, you suddenly feel the placement of his sweater over your shoulders. You furrow your brows in confusion, “You’re shivering like a chihuahua,” he explains, scratching his neck like he always did whenever he was nervous.

Crossing your arms, you attempt to hide your face which you were sure by now was as red as a tomato. What the hell were you doing? Sitting here talking to your ex boyfriend of 6 years while your fianceé was probably well on his way here… it was wrong, it was inappropriate. So then if you knew that then why did it feel so … you brush the thought off before you could complete it.

“Because he was your friend first and as much as you hate to admit it, he'll always mean something to you…” you tell yourself, feeling guilty at the thought.

“Y/N?” he says your name, bringing you back to reality.

You look at him, wondering why he said your name out of the blue.

“Do you—” it was now his turn to hesitate, “Do you hate me?” he finally asks, and immediately your mind says no. You could never hate him, even if you wanted to.

He stares at you, anxiously waiting for a response.

“No I don’t.” you simply say, not bothering to elaborate any further, but for Jin that was enough. It was enough to tell him that you still …

“Seojun…” you whisper under your breath, a car pulling into the driveway of your house, a look of surprise on your face. Immediately you push off the jacket from your shoulders, catching Seokjin by surprise.

“So this is who he is…” Jin thinks to himself, watching the handsome man come out of the car, a grin on his face as he locks eyes with you.

Walking towards him, Jin watches as you lovingly greet the man with a kiss to the cheek, the two of you then walking towards him. “Seojun this is Seokjin, his parents are the neighbors,” Seojun offers his hand out, a polite smile on his face, “Seokjin this is Seojun, my fianceé,” the two shake hands. Your past and present finally meeting.

“Seokjin which means to be a great treasure,” Seojun attempts to make small conversation.

“He’s a linguist,” you explain, awkwardly chuckling, noting the fake smile on Seokjin’s face.

“Mm I see,” he mumbles, bitterness in his voice.

“I thought you weren’t coming till tomorrow?” you ask your fianceé, still surprised by his sudden appearance.

He shrugs, “What can I say, I got bored,” he laughs, “So I said my goodbyes early, and decided why not come here to surprise you,” he kisses your forehead, and Jin feels the green eyed monster making its way out.

“Well I should get going,” Jin states.

“You sure?” you widen your eyes at Seojun’s sudden question, “I mean I love your dad y/n but it’d be nice to have someone else to talk to,” he chuckles, “and well I definitely wanna hear about what y/n was like as a teenager from someone who isn’t one of her parents.”

You and Jin both make awkward eye contact, unsure of what to say. “Maybe some other time,” Jin manages to say, “I have to um…” he flusters, “um..”

“Finish typing up that business report you were talking about,” you make an excuse for him.

He snaps his fingers, pretending that that was what he was trying to say, “Mmhmm yeah!” he scratches his neck, “My job just doesn’t want me resting, not even for the holidays, you know how it is...” he adds on, coming for the Actor of the Year award at next year's Oscars.

Seojun surprisingly believes it, “Damn, that’s too bad,” he scratches his chin, a sign that he was thinking of something, “Well are you coming to our engagement party? Maybe we can talk then,” he says, and if your eyes weren’t already wide enough, by now they were well on their way to falling onto the floor. Seojun was just too kind for his own good.

Jin practically chokes on his own spit, “I um—”

Realizing that you probably forgot to invite him, Seojun interrupts before Jin could feel any more embarrassed, “January 12, at the Lotte Hotel in Seoul, 6PM sharp.”

Feeling his face get red, Seokjin nods, “Yeah I’ll be there,” he forces a laugh.

Patting his shoulder, Seojun smiles, “I look forward to talking to you then,” he says, beginning to make his way inside, with you following closely behind, a guilt-ridden look on your face.

Now by himself, Jin silently cursed to himself. Damn him! Seojun wasn’t at all the asshole Seokjin made him out to be in his head. But damn did he want him to be one…. then it’d be much easier to hate the man, and it’d make him much less guilty for what he was planning to do….

“After that night, I’d go to sleep scared. Not because I was in danger in anything, but because I was scared about the feelings I’d repressed for so long now starting to return. I was scared of looking back…”

Patting down your black fitted cocktail dress, you look at yourself in the mirror for a final time, “Everything is going to be just fine,” you whisper to yourself, having cooped yourself in the ladies restroom for quite some time now.

You couldn’t help it, the moment you saw the twins walk in with Jin’s mother, you knew it was only a matter of time before Jin walked in.

Ever since that Christmas weekend, his sudden return into your life had been eating you alive. You had gotten over him, you were sure of it. No … you are over him. Point. Blank.

This ring you wore on your finger signified that you were over him, that there was a different future to look forward to now. That whatever was meant to be in the past was no longer an option for you now. Right?

The door suddenly opens, “Y/N, there you are!” your mom comes in with an upset look on her face, “the host of the party can’t just disappear whenever she wants to,” she scolds.

Staring at her with a doe eyed look, you want to tell her everything. Everything that you were currently feeling, every question, every doubt that was crossing your mind since Jin’s return. But instead you just look away, making your way out.

“Taiwan huh? I’ve always wanted to visit there,” you hear your future brother-in-law, Hoseok, say.

He, along with Seojun, Seokjin, and some other guests were currently discussing God knows what in a social circle.

“Y/N,” Seojun calls out to you, a grin on his face.

Immediately you make eye contact with Jin, feeling your every movement being scrutinized under his gaze.

Sucking it up, you plaster a smile onto your face, reminding yourself that in a couple of hours you’d be in bed, with the only other times you’d have to see Jin being your rehearsal dinner, which was the night before the wedding, and the wedding day itself. And even then he would just have to be another face in the crowd of guests.

Seojun places a kiss to your cheek, “Jin was just talking about his adventures in Taiwan, I’m thinking it might be a good destination for our honeymoon,” he says with genuine excitement in his tone. Oh how naive he was…

“Oh…” is all you can say, struggling to keep the smile on your face, “um yeah, I guess that would be a nice place to go, wouldn’t it?” you attempt to stay engaged with the conversation, and it seemed as if it was enough to fool Seojun because soon he was talking about something else with another guest.

But clearly it wasn’t enough to fool Jin, as he currently had his gaze fixed on you, occasionally taking a sip out of the glass of whiskey in his hand.

“I think I’m gonna go out and get a breath of fresh air,” you whisper to Seojun’s ear, and silently he nods, distracted by the conversation he was currently having.

Going out, you make sure not to be seen by your mother, knowing that she’d only scold you again for trying to leave. And so like the cowardly person you were, all you could do was hide and wait in the hotel’s little garden, sitting on the stone bench, the smell of the flowers somewhat relaxing you.

God, did you just want this night to be over already…

“You shouldn’t have come here,” you suddenly say, feeling the presence of someone behind you, but you knew exactly who it was.

“You looked sad,” you hear Jin say, genuine concern in his voice.

You remain silent.

Sighing, he sits next to you, the moonlight framing his face in such a way that he almost looks ethereal. “Originally I wasn’t going to,” he says, understanding the double meaning to your words, for you meant that he shouldn’t have came to this event at all, “But I needed to see it with my own eyes, confirm that it wasn’t just some—”

“What? Some joke?” you scoff, “Some wretched attempt at getting over you…”

Now it was his turn to remain silent.

You shake your head, “3 years Seokjin,” you say, “3 years you were gone and you just had to come back the year I get engaged,” you bitterly chuckle, wishing you had a drink in your hand, “funny how life works huh?”

Silently he nods, agreeing with you, “I guess it was just a natural sense,” he attempts to joke around, but you remain silent, “I’m sorry,” he randomly says and you look at him confused, “For coming back,” he elaborates on the apology, “if I’d known beforehand I wouldn’t have come back to town for both of our sakes,” he chuckles, being completely honest.

“Hand me that,” you motion to the drink in his hand, and without question he does. Taking a giant gulp, you then finally say something, “I’m getting married in 6 months Seokjin,” you remind him of your future fate, “it was going to happen before you came back, and it’s happening even after,” you turn to face him, wanting to make sure he understood that at this very moment you were placing a line between you two, one that you hoped was unbreakable.

He returns to stare, “I know y/n,” he simply responds.

“Do you?” your face twists into a frown, “Because I know you Seokjin and something in my gut is telling me that—”

“Y/N I know,” he repeats, “but just answer one thing for me…” he pauses, contemplating on whether to continue but does so anyway, “Do you really love him?”

And just as you’re about to respond, he interrupts, “But I mean genuinely y/n, enough where you really can picture the rest of your life with him with absolutely no regrets, no what if’s…” he adds.

Could you? You ask yourself. Could you really imagine being with Seojun with no regrets…..

To Jin, your silence was enough of an answer, but before he could get a word in, a voice suddenly interrupts, “Y/N!” Seojun calls out, “There you are,” he exhales a relieved sigh, “We’re about to cut the cake,” he glances at Jin, nodding as a way of saying hello.

“Oh right ...” you get up from the bench, a black cloud hanging over your head, “I’ll see you at the wedding Seokjin,” you look at Jin a final time, the statement ultimately acting as your answer.

“The six months went by in the blink of an eye, but each and every night when I went to bed, it ate me alive.

The lies I was telling my fianceé, the lies I was telling myself, everything was just becoming too much.

And as the date loomed closer and closer, it was only getting worse. And so the night before the rehearsal dinner I finally came clean…”

Staring up at the ceiling of your bedroom, you’d become accustomed to the sleepless nights for the last six months, faint lines beginning to form under your eyes.

In less than 48 hours you’d be a married woman, welcoming a future you’d always wanted. So then why was it now, you still couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

“Wedding jitters?” you hear Seojun whisper beside you, and you find yourself shocked that he was still awake. Usually he was quick to fall asleep, a deep sleeper as well, so to find him awake was pretty unusual.

You remain silent, hoping he’d just fall asleep, but like the caring person he was, he softly nudges you despite knowing that you were ignoring him, “Seojun, go to sleep, it’s late,” you mumble in the darkness, reminding you of a memory from long ago.

“Something’s bothering you,” he says, now turning to face you, and he nudges you a second time, “You know you can tell me anything…” he adds, wanting to reassure you.

This was your chance, your chance to tell him everything before it was too late. It was speak now or forever hold your peace, and so sighing, you position yourself to sit up, turning on the bedside lamp.

“Seojun I haven’t been completely honest with you…” you announce, now avoiding eye contact. “And well you deserve to know the truth because you’re an amazing person who deserves nothing but the bes—”

“Y/N,” he interrupts you, a soft laugh emitting from his lips, “I know Seokjin is your ex, and I know he still loves you,” he drops the bombshell of news on you, and you could’ve sworn you felt your jaw hit the floor.

“W-wait w-w-what?” you manage to breathe out, and it only makes him laugh again.

He now sits up, nodding his head, “I knew the moment you introduced his parents as the neighbors rather than calling him an old friend,” he chuckles, “you were trying to make it seem a little too platonic,” your face squirms, “and well you’re not exactly the best liar,” he pauses, “Plus your mom isn’t exactly a quiet speaker so when I heard her rambling to your dad about the situation, I sorta just knew.”

“T-then why didn’t you call me out on it?” you immediately ask, but before he could respond, you continue to ramble, “God, I’m so sorry Seojun,” tears well up in your eyes, “I love you, I really do,” you say, completely truthful, “but I-I-I—” you struggle to continue.

“But you also love him,” he completes for you, a look of understanding on his face.

Immediately you nod your head no, “No I don’t it’s just—”

“Y/N it’s fine,” he says, grabbing your hand, but you still refuse to admit it.

“No Seojun, you don’t get it. I love you, I do, more than you ever know and I’m ready to start our future together but—” you look away, “as much as I hate to admit it I’m always going to feel something for him because he was my first love,” you whisper the last part, “but you’re my last,” you reaffirm.

Seojun smiles sadly before sighing, “I know, which is why I sorta just let it be that night at the engagement party because well... I figured that if you were able to make it to the aisle without turning back it meant that you truly did love me,” he pauses, “Because even now you have the choice to turn back y/n, you do understand that right? I won’t be mad, I won’t be too sad, and I won’t hate you for it because I understand,” he says and you feel a teardrop fall from your eye, “that night I overheard him ask you if you really loved me and though you didn’t immediately say yes, you also didn’t flat out say no. And so it seems you’re at a crossroad… ” he whispers.

“Seojun…”

He squeezes your hand, “When you step on that aisle then I’ll have no doubt that you’ve completely unregrettably chosen me,” he says, “and if you don’t then I’ll know you were just never meant to be mine,” he smiles softly.

A silence follows.

“Tomorrow he’s going to the rehearsal dinner, and I’m assuming it’ll act as his hail mary. His final attempt at getting you back,” he suddenly says, “and so it’ll be your time to make a decision … a future with me or a look back at the past with Seokjin,” and he kisses your cheek, his way of saying goodnight before making himself comfortable in bed again, quickly falling asleep, and leaving you in the same sleepless state you were already in before.

He was right, knowing Seokjin tomorrow he was going to do something because you were 100% sure that he would never grow the balls to object to the matrimony in front of everyone. And so as the clock kept ticking, it was only up to you to decide your future.

“The next night came quicker than expected. After all of the guest greetings and pretentious conversations I had to make, it was time for the guests to make a toast. By then I had already made a decision in my mind, I just didn’t expect everything to happen the way it did….

For over the last 50 years I’ve constantly looked back at that night and have asked myself where it went wrong, what could’ve gone differently, what if this, and what if that… as it was never meant to escalate to the point it reached...

But it did … and as much I would love to go back in time and change everything, I can’t. And that’s just something I’ve had to accept, no matter how much it hurts…”

Clink. Clink. Clink.

You eye Jin as he gets up from his seat, his glass of sparkling water in his hand.

You’d been avoiding him like the plague the whole night, just wanting to get to the wedding day as soon as possible.

You attempt to remain calm.

He wouldn’t do it, not here in front of everyone. If he really cared for you like you believed him to, then he wouldn’t.

You knew Jin, and he was the kind of person to pull you to the side or find you alone like at the night of the engagement party in order to tell you something. Never would he stoop so low to do something like this…

Feigning a cough, he speaks, “I want to make this as quick as possible, don’t want to take too much of everyone’s time,” Jin’s mother glances at yours, the two of them unsure of what was going on, “So where do I begin…” Seojun looks at you with an impassive expression, your conversation from the night before coming to fruition, “Ahh I know,” Jin snaps his fingers, “So for anyone who doesn’t know, I actually dated y/n first…”

“Seokjin,” his mother attempts to stop him by harshly whispering his name, but he relents.

“We dated for about 6 years actually, to a point where we sure that we’d spend the rest of our lives together,” he scoffs, “but then I ruined that by breaking up with her,” he reminds you and everyone else around you of the fateful night, “which I know is shitty of me to realize just now how much of a mistake it was. But I mean what are the chances that I come back the year you’re about to get engaged, I mean that has to mean something right?” he rambles, almost as if talking to himself, convincing himself that this was the right thing to do.

Everyone sits in shock of the words spewing out of his mouth, certain that this was only something that happened in movies, never imagining that it could actually happen in real life, “I’m only saying this now because I realize it’d be even more of a dick move of me to object in front of everyone,” he chuckles to himself, “And so I’m doing this now, in front of everyone y/n…” he locks eyes with you, “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “but this is our last chance, a final shot at the future you’ve always wanted... with me.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

Slowly you get up, a heavy feeling weighing down your chest as you clear your throat before speaking, “I know this is a lot to ask but if everyone can get up and momentarily leave the room, I’d really appreciate it,” you announce, “I’d like to talk to my friend privately for a moment,” you look down to Seojun who nods understandingly.

Without question, Seojun begins to lead everyone out, until ultimately it was only you and Seokjin standing by yourselves, a scene all too familiar to you.

“Y/N…” he begins, but you’re quick to cut him off, your hand placed on your temple.

“Why?” your voice breaks, any emotion you’d been withholding beginning to unravel, “Just why?” is all you’re able to ask.

“Because you don’t love him y/n,” he whispers loud enough for you to hear, and it’s at hearing that, that you feel a shift in mood.

“But I do Seokjin!” you yell, seeing nothing but red now.

Silence momentarily lingers in the air, until you scoff.

“What were you thinking, Seokjin? That you could just come back into my life and I’d welcome you back with open arms?” you ask, tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall with every word you got out.

He shakes his head, “No but—” he hesitates, walking closer to you, “what are the chances y/n? What are the chances I come back to town the year you’re getting married—”

“The only reason I’m getting married to someone else is because you left me!” you interrupt him, reminding him of the choice he made years ago.

He looks away, “You don’t get it y/n,” he mumbles under his breath, beginning to grow frustrated.

“What’s there not to get Seokjin?” you push at him, now yelling, “If I hadn’t gone looking for you that night, I would’ve been left with nothing but a goddamn note—”

“I was doing what was best for you!” he yells in return.

“For me?” your voice shakes, “Leaving me at a diner in the middle of the goddamn night with some poor excuse wasn’t the best for me! Leaving me to cry in bed, by myself, for almost 2 years straight wasn’t the best for me! Leaving me, not knowing where the hell you were for almost 3 years wasn’t the best for me!” you finally explode, years and years of anger now revealing itself.

“Everything I had felt, the sadness, the anger, the frustration, everything … was finally being released…”

“I begged for you that night Seokjin, begged!” you emphasize, the tears that had been building up, now falling hysterically.

“I was just trying to do what was best for you,” he says, completely and wholeheartedly honest, because it was true. At the time he really was doing it all for you, and you understood that now, truly you did.

“But I just couldn’t let it go… I was still hurt, and that hurt was what was holding me back. That hurt was what was preventing me from walking out the back door with him, ready to finally start that future with him I always wanted…”

“I didn’t need you to do anything for me!” you yell, “I was a grown woman Seokjin! Capable of making my own decisions, just like I am now!” your heartbeat slows down, “I gave you my heart that night Jin!” your voice cracks, not only feeling your heart break for the second time in your life, but all by the same person, “It was you who left me! Not me, you!”

“Because I didn’t want to hold you back y/n,” his voice breaks, “Because at the time I couldn’t give you the things you wanted.”

“And I told you I didn’t care!” you cry out, “Because for me all that mattered was being by your side…” a silence follows, “You were my first love Seokjin,” you breathe out, “the first boy to make me feel completely and unconditionally loved and so for that I thank you,” you say, “I really do…” you grab his hand, “but this—” you struggle to say the words.

“But this is the end,” a tear falls down from his eye, and you can only stare at him in sadness.

“I’m choosing Seojun, completely and unregrettably,” you whisper, placing a final soft kiss to his cheek, “I’m sorry,” I’m sorry for being unable to let go, is what you want to say.

“So then I should go,” he quietly says, and silently you nod, letting go of his hand in the process.

And he watches you as you walk away, “Y/N,” he says your name for a final time and you turn around, sadness still etched in your face.

There’s a brief silence before he continues.

“Live—” he hesitates, “Live a life you’ll be proud of,” he reminds you, and to that you send him a small smile. A chapter in your life coming to its end.

“And so the next day was the wedding....”

“How are you feeling y/n?” your mom comes up to you from behind, practically feeling just as nervous as you were.

You pat down your dress, sighing in the process. Ever since last night, there was a churning feeling in your stomach that had been bothering you, but you reasoned with yourself that it must’ve been due to the events of the night prior, “Nervous but I should be good to go,” you respond, and your mom gives you a smile of reassurance.

Curious to see how many guests had arrived already, you look out the window of the room you were in, which gave a perfect view of the venue. Scanning across, it seemed like everyone was here except…

“Where’s Mrs. Kim?” you ask, “and the twins?”

After last night’s events, Mrs. Kim had gone up to you frantically apologizing for her son’s behavior, rambling about understanding if you didn’t want her at the wedding anymore, but you were quick to tell her that it was fine. That just because Jin did what he did, didn’t mean you didn’t want her attending. Which was why now seeing her seat empty along with the twins’, you were not only confused but a little hurt.

“Maybe they’re stuck in traffic,” she reasons, “they did leave quite late,” she adds.

Deciding it was best not to dwell on it too much, you push it to the back of your mind, “Let’s get this show on the road,” you ultimately say, ready to get married.

“You have to remember that in the early 2000’s, not everyone had mobile phones yet because of how expensive they were. People were still used to calling a house phone by memory and crossing their fingers that you’d pick up. You couldn’t just send a text message to absolutely anyone whenever something of importance happened…” you explain, your voice beginning to shake, “you couldn’t inform someone of an emergency until God knows when,” a tear falls from your eye, “Because if you could, then—” you let out a heart wrenching sob.

“Grandma?” Jia says in concern.

“Then I would’ve never gone through with that wedding…”

Seokjin was tired, no … he was exhausted.

God, was he such an idiot. What the hell was he thinking doing that? You were right, did he really think he could just waltz back into your life and everything would just go back what it once was? And to see you cry like that only made him realize even more of what a complete selfish asshole he was.

But at least, you both found closure right? That was all that—

The sound of Seokjin’s car engine making an ugly noise breaks him away from his thoughts. Almost immediately, he pulls over to the side of the road, purposely stopping near a payphone for reference.

Grabbing the flashlight from his compartment box, he gets out of the car and lifts up the hood of the car.

“Hmm...” he hums, nothing seemed wrong. It was probably just his car’s way of saying that it needed to be replaced by a newer model soon.

He smiles, tapping the hood once he placed it back down. He’s had this thing since his first year in college, it being by his side almost as long as you had been, if not more.

Yawning, he gets back in the car, the need to fall asleep becoming a little too overwhelming. Placing the key back in the keyhole, he turns it in order to turn on the ignition, but to his surprise the car refuses to start, “Come on LadyBug,” he says, the name of the car being something you and him both made up on a drunken whim, it sticking ever since.

Deciding to be stubborn tonight, LadyBug relents.

Sighing he grabs his Nokia phone from the glove compartment, the giant words of “NO SIGNAL” only making him sigh more. He just wanted to go home and sleep already.

Getting out of the car once more, he walks towards the phone booth, inserts a quarter, and dials the number of his parent’s house phone. As much as he hated to ask for help, desperate times called for desperate measures, and his dad should be home.

“You have reached the voicemail box of 45x-7x8-87xx, please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeep,” the automated voice instructs.

Seokjin groans, maybe his dad was asleep, “Hey dad, I’m sorta stranded out here with a car that doesn’t seem to want to start and well … I think Mom is still at the rehearsal dinner with the twins,” Seokjin begins to ramble, “She’s probably on her way back home, but you know her,” he chuckles, scratching his neck, “she still refuses to get a mobile phone so there’s really no way of calling her till she gets home,” despite his father not being on the line, he still felt awkward asking him for a favor, “I’m on interstate 6, you know … the usual route to get from Gwacheon to Seoul. Well, I’m gonna try calling someone else just in case you’re asleep… bye,” he hangs up the phone, disappointed that he was going to be stuck here longer than he hoped for.

Who else could he call, hmmm.

Ah! Yoongi! Hell maybe even Taehyung or Namjoon! Though it’d been a while since he last saw them, he was sure they’d be willing to do him the favor.

Quickly dialing their numbers one after another, he’s met with the same automated message of, “We’re sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check your number and try your call again.”

“Damn, they probably changed numbers,” Seokjin mumbles to himself, unsure of what to do.

Glancing at the time in his watch, he realizes just how late it was. Who else could he call….

The image of you appears in his mind, but he’s quick to shake his head no. He was the last person who could call to ask for a favor, but damn was your number the only number he had left in his memory.

And it wasn’t like he could sleep in his car for the night, that was only an invitation to get robbed on the side of the road.

He needed some kind of help, and quickly at that. And the chances that you were already home were pretty high, never being much of a partier to begin with.

“Fuck it,” he mutters, promising himself that this would be the last time he ever asked you for anything. He could only hope that you still lived in the same apartment….

“We should really start heading back home,” you whisper to Seojun’s ear, the rehearsal dinner having only awkwardly resumed about an hour or two ago. Things were barely beginning to get comfortable again among the guests, not like you could really blame them, they had just witnessed something that looked like it came out of a movie.

“Y/N,” he chuckles, “Have some fun,” he says, as this was probably your 10th time saying this in the last hour, “You deserve it,” he tries to convince you, your whole mood having gone sour since the whole mishap.

Sighing, you look away shyly, “I don’t know Seojun—”

“Come onnnn,” he teases, gently pulling you into a hug, “Just one more hour.”

You roll your eyes, “Hm fine,” you say, easily convinced, “but only one,” you reaffirm.

He nods, “only one.”

“Hello, we are currently either sleeping or—Jin I’m making the message for the voicemail thingy majiggy—” the sound of a high pitched laugh in the background is heard, and Jin remembers how he had been poking fun at you for using your “I mean business” voice, “as I was saying, we are currently either sleeping or at work! Sorry we couldn’t reach your call at this time, but please please please leave a message after the beep and we’ll make sure to get back to you as soon as we can! You ready? Beeeeeep!”

Jin laughs at how silly you sounded, surprised that you hadn’t changed the message in the last 3 years. It probably meant you had no reason to, considering it was pretty rare that you didn’t pick up a phone.

Meaning maybe you weren’t picking up on purpose….

Jin shakes his head, reminding himself that he was calling on a payphone and that there was no way you could see it was him. It was just self doubt getting to him.

“Hey y/n it’s me um Seokjin,” he awkwardly laughs, “I know I don’t really deserve to be asking you for a favor right now, but um,” he exhales a deep breath, “I’m sorta stranded right now and well I tried calling everyone else I could think of at the top of my head, I swear, but no one picks up,” he wants to make sure you understand that you really were his last option, “I promise that after this it’ll be the last time you see or hear of me, but I’m just really tired and well I just wanna go home and sleep. So if you can, I’ll be on interstate 6 with LadyBug,” he chuckles, “Um …” he’s unsure of how to end the voicemail, “I’ll see you soon then… bye ….”

Sighing, he walks back to his car, deciding he was going to try one more time before officially giving up. Twisting the key, he could only cross his fingers that it’d start up.

Vrooom.

A toothy grin appears on Jin’s face as he childishly celebrates, “Oh thank God,” he whispers to himself, rubbing his eyes and preparing himself for the drive ahead.

“Y/N,” your mom calls out to you from the dance floor, a shock ridden expression on her face, “Y/N!” she yells again, this time grabbing your attention.

“What is it mom?” you ask, unaware of the severity of what she was about to tell you.

“We need to go outside, I—” she seems out of breath, “I need to tell you something,” her voice shakes, and an immediate concern covers your face.

“Right now?” you ask, confused as to what could be so important that she needed to tell you at this very moment, in the middle of your wedding reception.

Silently she nods, leading you outside, her hand intertwined with yours. Your dad, with a solemn expression on his face, follows not too far behind.

“Something’s happened y/n…” she begins, voice wavering, “It’s about Seokjin…”

Inaudible words are spoken.

And soon you fall to the ground, the shock paralyzing you in such a way that you were sure this had to be some cruel nightmare, the sound of silent muffled sobs escaping your lips and filling the air.

A tragic story coming to its end.

“He died that night driving,” you hauntingly say, “A car had swerved into the opposite lane, and he was just too tired,” your voice shakes, “He didn’t see it in time,” tears fall down your eyes, “He died that night thinking I didn’t love him when in reality I loved him more than ever before. I was just too prideful to admit it,” you wipe the tears from your cheeks.

Jimin and Jia were at a loss for words, shock running through their veins, their eyes wet with their own tears, “You-You’re lying…” Jimin’s voice breaks, unable to comprehend what you had just told them.

“His mom didn’t get the call from the police until she got home, and even then she immediately rushed to the hospital, clinging onto the tiny bit of hope that he’d be just fine,” you shake your head, lips quivering at the recollection of everything, “She told my mom the next by calling my dad’s travel phone, felt like as a close friend … I deserved to know.”

“Grandma…” Jia says weakly.

“I always ask myself what if I hadn’t agreed to stay that extra hour that night. What if I had gone home like I should’ve and heard that voicemail? Because if I had, I would’ve gone to go get him without even a second thought. But like I said, I’ve just had to accept that what happened happened, and there’s nothing I could do to change that.”

Seojun gently knocks on your bedroom door, dressed in an all black suit, “Y/N…” he softly says your name, “Today’s the funeral… you,” he pauses, “you have to get up…” his voice is gentle, but firm, “You—” he hesitates, “You have to go y/n, you have to say goodbye,” he whispers.

He hears you attempt to muffle your sobs, just like you had been for every night of the last month. But in a room full of utter silence, it was almost impossible not to hear you.

“Y/N…” he slowly enters the dark room, heart breaking at the sight of you aimlessly staring at the ceiling. Sitting beside you, he begins to gently run his hand through your hair, an effort to comfort you.

But the heartfelt action only makes you sob harder, reminding you of the person you had lost, “I—” you barely croak the words out, “I just want to sleep,” you whisper, because you knew that it was only in your dreams that this wretched reality no longer existed. It was only in your dreams that he still… existed. It was the only time you were truly happy.

But by going to that funeral, it meant coming to face with the reality that everything was indeed real. That Kim Seokjin was truly dead.

“I know you do y/n…” he frowns, “but you have to say goodbye,” he repeats his words from earlier.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Didn’t he understand? You didn’t want to say goodbye! You weren’t ready, and you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be.

“I don’t want to,” your voice cracks, face feeling moist because of how much you’d been crying.

“I-I know y/n but—” he’s unsure of what to say. What the hell could he say? You were mourning, you were heartbroken. The man you loved more than the world itself was dead, and there was nothing that could be done about it.

“I have to say goodbye,” you quietly mumble into space, the phrase echoing inside your mind, “I have to say goodbye,” you repeat for a final time, an empty look in your eyes.

The rain pours as you watch the casket get lowered, almost as if grieving itself.

There’s a haunting emptiness in the atmosphere, everyone still in too much shock and disbelief to believe that this was all real.

All you could do was blankly stare at what was in front of you, trying your best to tune out Mrs. Kim’s raw sobs, the sound being too much to bear.

She had lost her very first born. The child she learned how to nurture, the child whose job was for her to protect, the child who was one of her greatest joys in this world, but most importantly the child she had no doubt loved unconditionally. And so to hear her cry with such a deep hysteria…. it was just too much….

Your mom squeezes your hand tightly, knowing that no words could take away the pain that you were feeling. She had first hand witnessed the love Kim Seokjin had for you, watching it go from a faint crush when you two were teenagers to a love so strong she was once sure it was unbreakable. You were going to get through this dark period in your life, that she was sure of, but the real question was when exactly would you come to accept it.

The clergy makes the final cross motion, ending his eulogy with God knows what because right now everything was just a big blur for you. Because even now with the sight of his casket being lowered six feet under and seeing both his mother and siblings cry like never before, it just didn’t feel real.

Slowly members of his family begin to leave after bidding their final goodbyes, with the occasional number of them stopping to give you their condolences, only making your heart wrench even more. You weren’t his wife, so why were they treating you like some widow? You didn’t deserve their consolation because you didn’t choose him. Like the horrible person you were, you just watched him leave that night. If it weren’t for you—

“Y/N?” a familiar voice interrupts your thoughts.

Turning, you feel your body go cold, “Y-Yoongi?” and beside him were none other than Namjoon and Taehyung, all three of them having tear stained eyes.

With sad eyes, they give you a small smile, clearly hurting themselves at the loss of their dear friend.

Soon you’re embraced in a hug by them, your body still in disbelief at the sight of them. It had been so long since you’d last seen them, years in fact. Never did you imagine your reunion with them would be here.

“W-we would’ve gotten here sooner but we caught traffic,” Taehyung says with a weak voice, eyes on the verge of spilling more tears.

And for the first time in a month, a small smile appears on your face, “You’re—” you sniffle, “You’re such a bad liar,” and he pulls you in for another hug, this time allowing those tears to fall.

The four of you soon stand in silence, words not having to be exchanged in order to understand what you were all feeling.

Namjoon suddenly speaks, “The last time I saw him was was the day he first came back into town, Christmas,” Yoongi smiles at the memory, all three of them being there, “He stopped by our apartment before going back to his mom’s, said he wanted to say hi,” Joon continues, “even apologized for just disappearing out of nowhere.”

“Tch that idiot,” Yoongi mumbles, “he said the first place he wanted to go was the diner but that they were closed,” Yoongi’s eyes glisten, trying his best not to cry.

“He then promised that for the next time he saw us, he’d to treat us to a meal and some soju,” Taehyung feigns a laugh, “We never got to take him up on it though...” his eyes lower.

“But the thing I’ll remember the most was his horrible attempt at finding out how you were after all those years,” Namjoon shakes his head, a dimpled smile appearing on his face.

Yoongi’s face lights up, remembering just how much he teased Jin that night, “You should’ve seen him,” he chuckles, “Not only were his ears red like how they’d always get but his whole face as well,” tears fall from Yoongi’s face as he laughs, “He looked like a tomato.”

“Ah and the mullet,” Taehyung reminds them, and soon the clear image of the Jin you’d fallen in love with when you were seventeen appears in your mind.

And for the first time since their appearance, you speak, “He—” you softly chuckle, “He was always convinced he’d bring them back in style,” and the boys feel a sudden sense of happiness in seeing you talk about him.

“Yeah he was—” Namjoon suddenly stops speaking, the boys and him now staring at something behind you.

It was Mrs. Kim, who was now walking towards the four of you, a box in her hands. A solemn smile graces her face.

One by one, she hugs each one of them, turning her attention towards you last, “I was—” she pauses, “I was hoping I could talk to you, privately,” she says, the boys silently nodding and bidding a silent farewell to you, glad to have made you smile, even if it was for a temporary moment.

She leads you to a bench, not too far away from his grave.

By now the rain had stopped and the sky was now a gloomy shade of gray.

Placing the box on her lap, for a small moment both of you simply stare at the view in front of you in silence.

You hadn’t talked to her since the night of your rehearsal dinner, not because you didn’t want to, but because looking at her reminded you so much of him. It reminded you of that first day you met him, how she had forced him to show you around town, not knowing that the two of you would be head over heels for one another years down the road. She, along with your mom, had always been your guys’ number one fan, always rooting for the both of you.

“He really did love you,” she stares off into the distance, “up until his very last breath, I’m sure,” she whispers.

You lower your gaze, unable to look at her.

Oddly enough, there was a peaceful aura in the air, both quiet and serene. Just like he would’ve loved it to be. He never did like seeing people cry.

“Whenever he’d come back home to visit, you should’ve seen the way his eyes would light up when he’d talk about you,” she smiles, “always eager to talk about what you were doing with your career,” she fiddles with her wedding ring, “Sungjin would get peeved but Seokjin wouldn’t care,” she chuckles, “he just loved you that much.”

At the mention of his father, only then fo you realize that you hadn’t seen him at all the entire service, “Where’s—” you’re hesitant to ask, not wanting to push boundaries, “Where’s Mr. Kim?” you croak. Yeah, he and Jin didn’t have the best relationship, but did that really matter now? Did any of it matter at this point?

She bitterly smiles, “He’s grieving in his own way,” she says, her voice breaking and her eyes still watery, “Those two had a tough love relationship,” she feigns a laugh, “but—” her voice cracks, “I always secretly knew that Seokjin was Sungjin’s favorite,” she sniffles her tears, “he just wasn’t good at showing it.”

You try your best not to cry, too physically and emotionally exhausted to sob any more. To you, it was just better to be numb than to feel every single emotion heightened, but God was it so hard. Everything just had to be so fucking hard.

Tightly, you grip the bench with your fingers, biting your lip in effort to suppress your emotions.

Slowly, she begins to open the box, pulling out what seemed to be childhood photos of Jin.

A genuine smile appears on her face as she begins to show you them, wet tears splashing onto the squared photos, “I—” she stutters, “I wanted you to have these,” she begins to explain, handing some of the photos off to you, “I tried looking for the photos and videos he’d take when you two met but,” she frowns, “but I don’t if he threw them away or—” she begins to ramble, “so I brought you these instead. I’m sorry they’re not of the exact memory you have of him,” she feigns a chuckle, “you know Seokjin,” she scratches the back of her neck, reminding you of exactly where Jin got his mannerisms from, “he never did like taking pictures.”

She flips through more of the photos, “I’m sorry there’s not that many,” her voice shakes, “I just—”

She needed to keep her memories of him too, is what you know she wants to say.

You notice that she’s also thrown some of Jin’s favorite things in the box, his denim jacket, the original little Mario figure he had always kept on his bed stand and his favorite Mariah Carey album, Daydream.

“I understand Mrs. Kim,” you softly say, “Thank you,” you whisper to her, embracing her in a tight hug.

“I should be the one thanking you,” she says in return. Thank you for loving him, are the unspoken words that linger in the air.

“I should—” you lower your gaze, “I should get going,” you say, feeling as if the world was spinning, your breathing now becoming rapid.

With the cardboard box in your hands, she watches as you hurriedly leave, only hoping that rather than haunt you, things could one day get better for you.

Running as far as you could, you hide behind a pillar.

It was all too much.

Everything was just too much.

Finally, silent sobs escape your mouth as you squat against the cement pillar. Grabbing his jacket from the box, you sob into it.

You just couldn’t let go.

As much as you wanted this all to be some horrible nightmare, you knew deep down it wasn’t. This mind numbing pain was all too real and unbearable for it to be some dream. You weren’t going to be waking up and finding Jin by your bedside, you weren’t going to hear his high pitched laugh ever again, and you weren’t ever going to be able to tell him just how much you still loved him.

Because Kim Seokjin was never coming back.

Your Jin was never coming back.

And it was completely all your fault for it. It was all your stupid miserable fault. If only you had—

“Y/N?” Seojun crouches down to face you, genuine concern on his face. “You’re—” he stutters, “You’re gonna get sick standing out here,” he wipes your snotty nose with his suit’s handkerchief.

Seojun was trying. He was trying to be as supportive as he could, and you understood that, truly you did. But just looking at him was a reminder of your choice because at the end of the day he was the person you chose over—

“It’s going to get dark soon y/n,” he whispers, “I-I think we should get going.”

You stare at him in silence and then turn to face the direction of the grave.

He wanted you to say goodbye.

But you just … you just weren’t ready to.

Because there lied the boy you were once so certain you’d have a future with. The boy who was capable of making you laugh even on gloomy days like this. The one who loved you on your good and bad days. The one who stood in a room full of people just to tell you how much he still loved you, something you knew he was probably so nervous about.

And so you just couldn’t let go.

But knowing you’d couldn’t stay here forever, you had to do the most humane thing you could possibly do. You had to live on.

“And so I did, all for him…”

“Yeojin!” you grab your mischievous 4 year old from the waist, stopping her blatant attempt at touching the stove, “What did I say about trying to touch the stove,” you scold her, and all she does is giggle, clearly unaware of the potential consequences of her actions.

Sadly you couldn’t be too mad, she was still learning right from wrong, but when it came to things like this, it was hard to keep your patience.

Carrying her up the stairs, you continue to scold her, “Remember what I said about it being hot,” you remind her, “you don’t want to end up with your fingers all red, do you?”

She nods her head no, “Of course not mommy.”

“Then,” you sigh, placing your little girl on her bed.

“Daddy said I’m in-de-struct-ible,” she sounds out the new word she’s recently learned, “Like Spiderman!” she mimics the superhero’s web shooting ability, the movie she just saw recently still clearly still in her mind.

“Okay Spiderman, I think it’s time you take a nap,” you say, and she mumbles something inaudible in return, “Hey hey, don’t go giving attitude now little lady,” you hide your smile, “it’s too early for all of that.”

Though not wanting to sleep, she allows you to tuck her in, already planning to get up and play with her toys once you left.

Taking note of her grumpy attitude, you place a kiss on her forehead, gently combing a hand through her hair, “I love you,” you coo.

“I love you too Mommy,” and before you knew it, her eyes were closed, the little girl now “sound asleep”, or at least that’s what you thought.

Sighing, you leave the room, gently closing the door.

That girl was a handful, most definitely, but she was everything you had in this world. Your symbol to keep moving forward, despite that constant need to look back.

Going down the stairs, you hum Mariah Carey’s new song, “We Belong Together” , the famous singer’s latest comeback single having topped the charts these days.

“When you left I lost a—” the smell of something burning gathers your attention, the intense scent of cooking oil alarming you that something was wrong. Your mind goes back to when you grabbed Yeojin from reaching the stove, her arm clearly outstretched—

Boom!

The kitchen illuminates an intense shade of red, a fire now starting from the stove, “Oh my—” immediately you run up the stairs because despite your mind being in utter chaos, one thing was clear: you had to get Yeojin out of here.

Frantically turning the knob to her door, you come to realize that it’s locked, “Yejin!” you yell.

“Mommy, I’m playing!” she giggles, oblivious to the danger you both were in.

You practically begin to punch the door, “Yejin I need you to open the door!” your breathing becomes heavy, panic now flowing in your veins. Smoke was beginning to reach upstairs, signaling to you that this fire was moving fast, dangerously fast.

Taking a deep breath, you take a couple of steps back from her door, “1..2…” using all your force, you ram into the door, effectively opening it in the process.

Without a second thought you grab Yeojin, wrapping one of her blankets around her body and face, immediately running down the stairs as fast as you possibly could.

By now the whole entire living room and kitchen were in flames, and you could hear Yeojin begin to whimper, confused as to what was going on.

“Everything’s gonna be okay baby,” you soothe her, your hand regrettably grabbing the door knob.

Immediately you hiss in pain, retracting your hand, “Oh God,” your hand felt as if it was sizzling.

There was no way you could get to the window, not without risking your daughter’s safety.

Preparing yourself for what you were about to do, you mentally reassure yourself, completely grabbing the door handle and twisting it, withholding the screams you desperately wanted to let out until you were out.

Running out, you place your daughter on the neighbor's front yard, the family immediately coming to assist you.

By now the whole neighborhood was standing outside their houses, concern and worry evident on their faces, “Oh my God y/n,” your neighbor notices the burn on your hand, “Go grab the kit in the basement!” she instructs her son.

By now, your breathing was erratic, a result of all the smoke you had inhaled, “T-The f-fire de—”

“We’ve already called them, they should be on their way. I’ve called Seojun’s job as well—” she immediately reassures you, “You need to relax y/n,” she tells you, but immediately your mind goes to something inside your house that was irreplaceable.

Mrs. Kim’s box.

Getting up from the lawn, you hear Yeojin call out to you, “Mommy!” she yells as you begin to run back to the house, focused on one thing and one thing only.

Getting that box.

“Y/N!” your neighbor tries to get you to come back, but by then you were already making your way inside, using your shirt as a cover for both your mouth and nose, a measly attempt at having more time inside the house.

Running up stairs, you barge into your room, immediately looking to the spot in your closet where you always had the box, but to your shocking surprise… it wasn’t there.

“What the…” you mumble to yourself, your lungs beginning to feel heavy again.

Without a second thought, you begin to ravage the room, knowing your time in here was limited. The fire was going to reach up the stairs at any moment, and once it did, it was over for you.

“What the fuck!” you yell to the empty room, feeling as if you were on the verge of an utter mental breakdown. It had to be here! There was no way you moved it, and Seojun knew better than to touch it. Putting a halt to your search, your eyes widen when you come to realize something.

What the hell was Yeojin playing with?

The Mario figure.

And in the blink of an eye, you run out the room, only to find the hallway now engulfed in flames, making it almost impossible to get into her room, not unless you wanted to burn to death.

“No…” you say under your breath, refusing to believe the box was in there. Your vision was beginning to get hazy and your head was pounding, now unsure if it was because of the fire or if it was because of the state of shock you were in. Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you hear the sound of the firetrucks nearing the house.

“Seokjin…” your voice breaks, realizing that the final things you had to remember him by were now gone. But despite your state of grief, your body knew it had to move on its own. Because by staying here, you’d inevitably die, and he wouldn't want that, not because of something like this.

Lifting up the window in your bedroom, you begin to slowly place your body out, trying your best to work with one hand. The fire was beginning to get to your bedroom, and you simply couldn’t afford to wait for the firemen to come with a ladder.

Sucking the pain up for one final time, you place your injured hand onto the ledge as well, now dangling outside the window, a scream of pain coming out of your mouth.

“Oh my God, Y/N!” you hear Seojun call out to you, “I’m gonna get you help, just hang on!” he yells, immediately running back to the front yard to presumably tell a fireman.

But the pain on your hand was just too much.

You needed to let go.

Even if it meant getting hurt in the process.

And soon you feel the impact of the floor, your arm taking mosting of the hit, most definitely dislocating. The last thing you see being the paramedics.

“Mommy! Mommy! Look what I made for you with all the other kids who were visiting their mommies and daddies!” Yeojin eagerly shows you the scribbling piece of art she created from her car seat, a toothy grin on her face.

“It looks amazing Yeojin,” you feign a smile, trying your best to act normal. Today you had been discharged from the hospital after about 2 weeks of getting your hand and arm treated along with having multiple tests ran because of the amount of smoke you inhaled.

Now, with bandages wrapped around your hand and a heavy cast, which the doctor said would take about two to three months to completely heal, you were on your way to your new (temporary) home. The fire had ravaged absolutely everything, sparing not a single thing in its sight.

It was your fault really, you shouldn't have had the cooking oil so close to the stove, especially without its cap on.

You turned your attention to Seojun, his quietness during the whole car ride not going unnoticed by you. It seemed as if whenever he did talk or laugh, it was unmistakingly fake.

Deciding you weren’t going to press him on it in front of Yeojin, you tell Yeojin to go upstairs to her room once you arrive.

Sighing, you place your things on the dining table, your free arm now feeling sore from its now constant use.

You attempt to make small conversation with your husband, “The insurance company called me at the hospital, said almost everything was covered…” you bring up, but he remains stoic.

You try again, “Yeojin seems to have made a lot of friends, with the way she was rambl—”

He finally breaks his silence by interrupting you, “Why did you do it...” he mumbles, causing your eyebrows to perk up, “Why did you run back into that fire?” he asks, trying to contain his anger.

You feel your body freeze for a moment before answering, “I told you already, I wanted to get the papers in the sa—”

He’s quick to cut you off, venom in his voice, “Stop lying,” he grits his teeth, “There was—” he shakes his head, “There was only one thing in that house that I’m sure you’d risk your life for Y/N, so let’s stop acting dense here…”

You lower your gaze, silence filling the room.

“You could’ve died y/n,” he whispers, and your silence only peeves him, “Died!” he repeats, wanting you to understand the possible severity of your actions.

Narrowing your gaze, you scoff, “You think I don’t know that,” you spit back, not exactly fond of how he was treating you, as if you weren’t a grown woman capable of understanding the consequences of your actions.

“No I don’t think you do,” he retorts back, “Because if you did then you wouldn’t have ever gone back inside that house to begin with!” his voice becomes louder.

“You’re going to wake her up,” you refer to Yeojin, who was probably taking a nap in her room.

It was now his turn to scoff, “Like you care.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you growl in return.

“You almost left her without a mother!” he finally yells, “All for that goddamn—” he stops himself midway, unable to finish the sentence.

You glare at him, knowing exactly what he wanted to say, your eyes already getting watery at the thought of it, “Say it,” you challenge him, “Say what you’ve been wanting to say for all these years,” you mutter.

“He’s gone y/n…” he tiredly whispers under his breath, maintaining your gaze, “He’s been gone for 4 years now!” he cries out, and you feel your face twist in anguish.

“Shut up,” you mutter.

“It’s time to accept it y/n, you can’t keep letting him haunting you, you can’t keep being in deni—”

“Just shut up!” you yell but he relents.

“Life has moved on y/n,” his voice breaks, “it’s time that you do too!”

“But I have! Can’t you see?” tears are uncontrollably falling down your face by now, “I stayed with you despite it all!” you scream, now heaving in anger, “I had a kid with you, we bought that big old house you always wanted—”

“And why is that y/n? Why did you stay with me after his death, huh? Why?” he asks you, his questions ringing in your head, making you feel as if you were going insane.

“Because I made a choice that day!” you yell loud enough for your voice to echo across the room, everything coming to a haunting silence, “Because I chose you that night, when I could’ve chosen him,” you cry, “And I can’t bring myself to regret that choice, not anymore at least, because regretting you would mean regretting her!” you glance at the stairs, signalling that you were talking about Yejin, “And I just can’t bring myself to do that. I chose you, and I have to deal with that decision for the rest of my life. I got up from that bed years ago and went on with my life all for you—”

He shakes his head, “No you didn’t…” he frowns, “You didn’t…”

You did it for him.

“Y/N he’s dead…” Seojun repeats, his heart still wrenching for you even years later, “it’s time you let go and begin to live for yourself. Not for him, not for me, not for her, but for you,” he grabs your hand, squeezing it in the process, “It’s time you let go.”

You pull your hand back, refusing to accept it, “I just—” you muster up your tears, “I just wanted to save what was left of him. Because without it he just existed in my memory and—” your voice shakes, “and now he really only does. Because now he’s really gone,” you sob,“ Can-Can you really blame me?” you weakly say.

“I can’t,” he says, “but I also can’t keep doing this anymore,” he murmurs, “I’ve tried y/n, I really have. But I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, and I have to prioritize Yeojin first and so I think—” he struggles to continue, “I think we should get a—”

“Divorce,” you scoff, tears still flowing down your face.

He gulps, “I’ve been talking with a lawyer for about a year now, we’d get joint custody, with no need for court because I don’t see us having to make this a longer process than it needs to be.”

“You’re not taking my daughter away from me,” you clench your teeth.

“I know I’m not and I wasn’t planning on it because damn it y/n, you’re an amazing mother. Truly, you are. But—” he pauses, “But until you find closure and acceptance then I think—I think she should stay with me for the meanwhile, until you’re ready that is.”

Until you’re ready to let go.

By now you were fully sobbing again because not only were you unable to control your emotions, but because you knew he was right. Ever since Seokjin’s death, he was the one who had to hear you silently cry at night, the one who had to accept that no matter what Seokjin would always be the one dearest to you, and who secretly hoped that with time it’d be something you’d get past.

Had it been anyone else, and you were sure they would’ve left you the day Seokjin passed. But Seojun was different, Seojun understood. But he couldn’t prioritize you anymore, not with Yeojin now in the picture.

You feel his arms wrap themselves around your frame, comforting you for a final time, “I’m sorry, for everything,” he whispers.

“Me too Seojun,” you hum in return, “Me too.”

The smell of the fresh rain hitting the concrete headstones fills your nose as you make your way to the resting place of the person you once loved the most. You hadn’t been here since the funeral, too in denial to ever really visit.

It had been three months since your separation with Seojun, your arm now fully healed. Currently, you were staying at a small apartment near your parent’s house, still unable to bring yourself to stay at their place. Not with the amount of memories it brought on.

The last you’d heard, Mrs. Kim had also moved, and you assumed it was for the same reason you couldn’t bring yourself to go back home. It was just too much.

Placing the red roses on top of the headstone, you make yourself comfortable by sitting on the grass, not caring if it was moist from the rain.

You just wanted to talk to him.

“I’m getting divorced, you know?” you begin, deciding to catch him up on recent events, “Things didn’t seem to work out between me and Seojun,” you chuckle, staring at your now naked ring finger ,“Not that you hadn’t predicted it already.”

Silence.

“We had a daughter together,” you mention the hyper little girl, “Her name is Yeojin, I think you would’ve loved the name,” you say, “She—”already you feel tears beginning to well up in your eyes, “She sorta laughs like you, that same kind of laugh that unintentionally makes everyone around her laugh,” you begin to ramble, “she seems to like Mariah Carey as much as you too, she’s the only artist we’ve noticed that can get Yeojin up and dancing. I’m sure she would’ve loved to dance with you,” tears begin to fall from your eyes.

The soft sprinkles of the rain surprisingly soothe you.

“God, I’m such a crybaby,” you mumble, remembering how Jin would tease you for your sensitivity to things, “It’s just so hard, you know? Sometimes it still feels like you’ll walk through the door with a VHS movie you just rented in your hand, talking about how excited you are to see it after hearing reviews,” you laugh, “or that you’ll come in the room to tell me to fix your hair after cutting it crookedly.”

You place your hand on his headstone, softly grazing your palm against its rough surface, “You know scientist theorize that there’s possibly billions to an infinite number of parallel universes out there,” you chuckle, “I learned about it in my introductory course to Physics my first year in college, I don’t know if you remember me babbling about it,” you continue, “But it means that there are cosmic patches which are exactly like ours where everything has happened exactly like this one, meaning somewhere out there there’s someone exactly like us, except they have the possibility to do things different. And so... I wonder in which universe did we get our happy ending?” you solemnly ask, “I—”

“Y-Y/N?” a familiar voice says your name from behind, and immediately you turn to face the person.

“Mr-Mr.Kim?” you say in disbelief, as you hadn’t seen the man in years. Not since the final year you were still with Jin.

You scan his appearance, wrinkles and gray hairs now more prevalent on him, but yet he still looked like the spitting image of his son. He just looked more … tired.

He places the flowers in his hands next to yours, silently taking a seat next to you. You were still staring at him in shock as he was the last person you would’ve expected to see today.

“It’s—It’s been a while,” he says, and originally you were unsure if he was saying it to you or his son, that was until he turned his attention towards you.

Silently, you nod, unsure of what to say, ��Yeah,” you mumble.

“Do you often come here?” he asks.

Ashamed, you nod your head no, “This is actually my first time since the funeral,” you confess.

He hums a response, not in a place to judge, “Nothing to be ashamed about little girl, we all have our own ways of grieving and coping with a loss,” and you’re surprised to hear such comforting words from him. In the years you’d known him, you couldn’t recall a time where you had an actual genuine conversation with him. It was depressing that it had to be now.

“Do—” you hesitate, “Do you?” you gulp, “Do you often come here?” you repeat his question.

Coughing first, he then responds, “Every Friday since his funeral,” his fingers tremble, and you were unsure if was because of his age or because of the topic he was currently talking about, “I do it to catch up with my boy, keep him up to date with the things you young people are doing,” he explains, eyes now glistening, “it’s the least I could do for him,” he mumbles.

A silence follows after.

Feeling bold, you ask him something you’d been curious about for a long time, “Why didn’t you come to the funeral?”

He stares at the headstone, “I—” he sighs, “He was my first born, my first son, my—” he hardens his jaw to prevent himself from crying, “The night it happened he called the house, asking me to go pick him up. I had been tired from work that night, so I went to sleep early,” you feel your heart twist, “If I hadn’t overworked myself that day, I could have picked up that phone call and told him to stay where he was, that I’d be there in no time because at the end of the day he was my son who I loved like no other, even if we had a rocky relationship. He still called his dad for help, and I—” he takes a deep breath in, feeling himself lose control, “I let him down,” he ultimately says, “And so I let the guilt eat me alive, to the point where I felt like I didn’t deserve to go to my son’s funeral.”

You stare at him in silence, understanding exactly what he felt. For you had felt that same guilt all these years.

“I quit my job following his death, and fell into a deep depression like no other. Yerin and I were even close to getting a divorce, the loss of our son adding a strain to our marriage,” he explains, “She had managed to accept and let go of her pain, but for me it was just too much. I couldn’t accept that he was gone,” he pauses, “I just couldn’t let go.”

A single tear falls from his eye.

“I was breathing , but no longer was I living,” he continues, “And so I needed to learn how to live for myself. I needed to accept that he was gone. I needed to say goodbye, even if it hurt to do so,” he smiles solemnly to himself, “because once I finally did, it was liberating.”

“And it was in that moment while talking with Mr. Kim that I’d come to realize that in order to start living for myself, that it was time to let go, that it was time to say goodbye.”

Getting up from the grass, you stare at Seokjin’s grave for one final time, for it was time to accept the cruel fate that had been given in this awful tale. One day you’d be back, that you were sure, but for now all that was left for you to say was....

“Goodbye Seokjin,” you whisper, ready to begin again.

Jimin and Jia stare at you in silence, both having dried tears and disbelief written on their faces. This couldn’t be how the story ended, right?

But it was.

“So you really have nothing to remember him by?” Jia asks, and you point to your forehead.

“Sadly all ll I have is this,” you say, “but for me that’s more than enough.”

You turn your attention towards Jimin, “And so here I am, having told you this story in order to teach you that you shouldn’t let your fears get in the way of allowing yourself to be happy, ” you say, “Because then you’ll live a life of nothing but regret,” and immediately he gets up from his seat.

“Where the hell are you—” Jia’s about to ask him something until you raise a finger, signaling to her to let him be.

“I’m-” he stutters, “I’m going to get my girlfriend back,” he breathes out, squeezing past Jia, “T-Thank you Ms. y/l/n. I mean it,” he says, and you only smile in return.

“I should be the one thanking you,” you whisper to yourself, watching as he hurriedly leaves the diner.

Placing money on the table, Jia smiles at you, “Come on Grandma, let’s go home,” she hugs you once you get up, making a new vow to herself to appreciate those around her and never take anything for granted. Just like Jimin had learned, she had to live for herself.

“Finally! I know I told you that you could stay out as long as you wanted but I didn’t think—” Yeojin is interrupted by the embrace of her daughter arm��s. Confused by the sudden act of affection, she narrows her eyes, “If this is some trick into getting your phone little—”

“Shhh,” Jia complains, “I can’t hug my mom?”

Allowing her skepticism to pass, Yeojin returns the hug, “Movie night?” she asks her daughter and immediately she nods.

You smile at the sight, making your way up the stairs and into your room.

Slowly, you crouch under the bed, pulling out a worn out box from under your bed, grabbing a small flash drive out of it in the process. Placing the now vintage item into the plug-in of your TV, your mind flashes back to that last conversation you had with Mr. Kim.

“Wait,” Mr. Kim stops you from leaving, pulling something out of his suit’s breast pocket, in what seemed to be a flash drive?

Handing you the small item, you look at him confused, “I found it in his room when we moved, not too long after his passing, I’m guessing he must’ve converted it before breaking that old camera of his and well I always carried it around just in case—” he pauses, “Just in case I ever bumped into you.”

You furrow your brows, why was he telling you this now? Why didn’t he look for you instead?

As if reading your mind he says, “Because you’ve finally said your goodbye,” he smiles, “watch this when you’re finally allowed to look back. "

Pressing play, you stare at the screen in front of you.

“Seokjin!” the person behind the camera sighs, “Seokjin!” Mrs. Kim yells again, and the camera begins to shake, presumably because the person was now going down the stairs.

The camera soon pans to the twins, both of them giggling at the cameraman's antics, “Say hiiii,” he cooes. And soon the door he’s recording opens and the camera pans to a 17 year old you, an awkward expression being worn on your face.

“Woah,” he whispers, zooming in on your face.

Your eyes begin to water as you watch the recorded memory.

“Seokjin, but you can call me Jin for short,” he introduces himself, the camera now recording the wall beside him, probably because of how he was carrying it in that moment.

The scene then changes.

“Come on, you know you wanna smileeee,” Jin sings, he closes the camera to your face, ultimately making you smile.

“Well cheers to a new friendship,” Taehyung announces and Jin records you all lifting your hands in the air.

The scene changes again.

“This is her first time eating kongguksu everyone,” Jin announces.

“Who are you even talking to?” you roll your eyes, grabbing the noodles with your chopsticks.

“To the people of the future!”

And you recall how Jin had winked at you that time, causing your crush on him to begin to grow more intense.

Your face gets red as he continues to record you. Taking a slurp of the noodles, you try to cover your face.

“Well what do you think?” he asks.

Your face twists, “Mmmm I don’t know,” you mumble, the taste not exactly being your favorite.

“Boooo!”

You flash him the middle finger.

The scene changes.

“Y/N” the camera begins to move around, and your giggles begin to get louder, “Hand that back to me!” the camera begins to move in an up and down motion, probably because whoever was holding it was running.

Soon the person gets tackled, but not before panning the camera onto Seokjin’s face.

“And the recorder finally gets recorded,” you laugh, and Jin attempts to cover his face, but you’re quick to remove his hands. He awkwardly avoids eye contact, allowing you to record his face.

You feel your breath hitch. It was Jin… the Jin you knew, the Jin you fell in love with. Right there in front of you.

Looking at the camera he quickly makes a kissy face, making you shriek in excitement. “There you have it folks,” you tease him, “Kim Seokjin being the model he is…”

He rolls his eyes, now attempting to reach for the camera.

“Okay okay, that’s enough,” he groans as you relent.

“Smileeee!”

The scene changes for a final time, and you see Jin sitting in his room, facing the camera you presumed he had set up.

“Hello!” he awkwardly waves to the camera, “If you’re watching this it means one, you’ve been snooping around in this room or two, you’re Y/N.”

You feel your heart skip a beat, and your body going numb.

“Ah I don’t know how to start this,” he chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “When I first met you, I thought you were really pretty,” he begins, “and I knew I wanted to be your friend! What I didn’t think was going to happen was that I’d end up really really realllyyyy liking you,” he laughs, “I’ve been trying to tell you for some time now,” his voice cracks, and immediately he begins to cough, trying to make himself sound as manly as possible, “So I thought why not tell you the best way I knew how … through film! That way I’ll let this video do all the work for me,” he smiles.

You laugh at how endearing he was.

“Hopefully you like me too because if not then I feel really bad for the future Jin who’s probably attentively watching your reaction and crossing his fingers. I made this collage of memories using the shitty editing programs we have at the school library so sorry if it’s not exactly the best, but …. I hope this is something you can look back on in the future and be glad I recorded, even if you complained all the time.”

Look at him, predicting the future.

“So… I’ll leave it to the future Jin to handle the rest,” he laughs, “Byeeee!” he waves to the camera. His final goodbye.

5 years later.

“Mom, slow down!” Yeojin instructs, worried about how fast you were trying to walk.

“If you can’t keep up with me, an 80 year old lady, then that should be a concern for you, not for me!” you continue with your daily walk, enjoying the spring weather.

“If you’re not careful you cou—” Yeojin suddenly stops speaking, now having caught up to you. “Mom?” Yeojin asks, concerned as to what you two were staring at with such a shocked expression on your face. Following your gaze, she notices a man staring at you a little girl tugging at his shirt.

“Daddy! I wanna play on the swings!” she pouts at the lack of attention her father was giving her. Immediately you recognize the woman sitting on the bench behind them, remembering her once crying face which was now replaced with a grin as she carried a second (younger) child in her arms.

Slowly the man raises his hand, waving at you with a warm smile on his face.

A single tear falls from your eye as you wave back, your heart swelling at the sight.

And as quick as the moment was, it ended just as fast. As slowly, you began to walk away, while he went on to play with this young daughter. Two strangers crossing paths for a final time.

“Do you know that man?” Yeojin cluelessly asks, confused about the exchange that just happened in front of her.

You nod your head, a smile still on your face, “No,” you chuckle, “No I don’t,” you ultimately say, continuing with your walk.

a/n: whew ! & that’s the end ! if you’ve made it this far then i want to personally thank you! i don’t really expect this story to get many notes well because it’s sad and well ik i personally don’t normally click on major character death fics haha. if you enjoyed this fic then (if you can) please please please leave a comment/review/like/reblog (whichever works best for you) and you can always hop in my ask box for any questions or comments :) im thinking of making an alternative ending for this one day, maybe after i finish the whole tun series, but we’ll see haha. ill see yall next time ! <3

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thr-333 · 3 years

Text

Drastic Measures- Part 9

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Book~

Damian gets a book recommendation, it’s only going to get worse for Bruce from here.

Ao3

First < Previous > Next

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“So I’ve drafted up the new policies, the lawyer we hired is looking over it,” Damian explains from his desk, “Do we want to handle branch manager interviews ourselves or delegate,”

“Delegate,” Marinette hums, trying to narrow down her first fashion line, “We still need to visit the manufacturer for the line,”

“Can’t you do that yourself?”

“I suppose,” Marinette circles the one she likes best, tabling the others for later, “What are you going to do?”

“Wait,” Damian sighs, “Everything needs to be looked over before we can proceed,”

“Well don’t bore yourself out of your mind,” Marinette close her sketchbook gathering her stuff for her trip, she makes a detour to the bookshelf in search of something, “Here,”

“I’m perfectly capable of entertaining myself,” Damian huffs, as she places the book on his desk.

“I’m sure you are,” Marinette says teasingly, getting a withered glare, “How about you entertain yourself with this book, don’t worry you're still doing all the heavy lifting, besides it’s really good,”

“I’m sure it is,” Damian rolls his eyes placing the book to the side.

---

Well, he had said he was sure it was; if sarcastically. Damian sits in the cave as the others dawdle in their preparations for patrol, reading the book recommended. It was fine not his usual preference. Besides he could put it down whenever he wanted… it’s just the sooner he finished the sooner he could put it down and Marinette wouldn't bother him about it anymore. Plus he has a stakeout tonight, there's nothing else to do. That's the only reason why he brought it on patrol. The only reason.

“Ohhh~ that's a good one,” Damian leaps up to attack, brandishing his sword right to Ladybug's neck… he immediately implodes, “What? didn’t hear me coming?”

“Tt, of course, I did,” He did not.

Ladybug steps away from his blade, Damian hastens to put it down.

“Is there another Akuma?” He asks, having only seen her at battles, he looks around warily.

“Not right now, just patrolling trying to get a lay of the city,” Ladybug looks out over the skyline.

“Don’t let Batman catch you,” Robin warns taking back up his vigilant stakeout position.

“You gonna tell on me?” Ladybug teases, fixing him with her dazzling smile.

“No,” It’s not blushing, just shadows cast in the dark.

“So stakeout?” Robin nods as she comes to sit next to him, “A good book is a great way to pass the time,”

Damian is about to deny his enjoyment, as he would to Marinette when she inevitably asked. But… this is Ladybug and they actually have something to talk about, and neither of them has any place to be.

“It is,”

“That's great! I keep trying to recommend it but everyone turns their nose up at it, saying it's for kids,” Ladybug rants, “Even today! I’m glad at least someone enjoys it,”

“I’d hardly say it fair to relegate it just to children,” Robin frowns, “There are complex themes of freedom seamlessly interwoven into the narrative,”

“Right? A relative of mine gave it to me when I was little, it really helped me break out of my shell,” Ladybug smiles, Robin listens keenly at sharing part of her life. It was hard to imagine the confident amazing woman ever being shy.

“It’s hard to imagine you being shy,” Robin startles as she breaks down laughing.

“You have no idea! When I first started out as Ladybug she was so confident it felt like I became a different person, a hero of Paris, a savior of the people!” Ladybug strikes a pose before shrinking in on herself, “But outside the mask, I was timid and shy, not even able to stand up to a liar or a bully,”

“Bully?” Robin's hand itches towards his sword.

“Yeah back in Paris,” When’s the soonest flight to Paris? “But since being in Gotham I don’t have to be who I was, I feel like the gap between me and Ladybug is getting smaller and smaller, so it’s great being here, even if the weathers terrible,”

“That’s good,” Damian sighs, “Not the weather bit,”

“It’s just so cold!”

“I feel that's an opinion shared among many Parisians,” … I feel like I’m missing something.

“Well it will be nice to go back to Paris,” Damian's heart sinks, “When this is all over,”

“Why,” He bites out, “It doesn't sound like you were happy there,”

“Oh, I was,” Ladybug assures with a smile, “Even if I was bullied I had the love of my parents, my friends were still supportive even if they fell for a liar,”

“But you weren’t yourself,”

“Pfft, I was just as much myself as I am here, just more confident,” Ladybug shrugs, looking at something beyond the horizon, “Freedom gives you the confidence to explore parts of yourself you didn’t know, it doesn't change who you were,”

“It doesn't?”

“No- hey what's wrong,” Ladybug leans over, closer to him.

“Nothing,” Robin shifts away, only slightly, “I just thought we were more similar but I guess not,”

“Did I say something to upset you?”

“No,”

“Correction,” Ladybug says firmly, “What did I say to upset you?”

Do not compromise your identity, do not compromise your identity.

“... I wasn't raised in Gotham, I was raised… elsewhere, not to be a hero,”

“Well that's dumb,” Robin rears back at her bluntness, “Was batman raised to be a hero?”

“No?”

“Oh good, I took a shot in the dark at that one,”

“He wasn't, but I was raised to be the opposite,” Do not compromise your identity, “By assassins,”

Great job Damian

---

Wow lots of kids in Gotham were raised as assassins

This would be the point Marinette feels she is missing something.

Or maybe the league of assassins was planning something with it, not like it’s unusual for them to train kids. “So you must be pretty strong huh?” The league's training is brutal, Marinette knows her Maman did everything in her power to protect her from it for a reason.

“What?”

“Well you have an assassin's training, bet your sneaky, good at taking criminals down swiftly,” Robin was now opening and closing his mouth trying to find something to say.

Worst than the training, she had been told is the lack of freedom. You don’t get to choose who lives who dies, your own fight. Those orders come from the top, the people with the power to take you down. Or not so much in her Mamans place.

“Unfortunately the swiftest way is murder, and here that’s frowned upon,” Ladybug cracks a smile, lightening the mood.

“True, I’m sure there can be more creative uses though,” She had been trained first and foremost by her Maman, Tikki had told her no other holder fought like her. The only new ingredient was a small helping of assassination, minus the murder… well we’ll see when she takes down hawkmoth.

“Unfortunately Batman would rather I forget that particular training than apply it,”

“That doesn't sound good you shouldn-,” She's about to add more when the comms crack to life and Robin motions her to be to stay quiet.

“Robin,” She picks up on Batman's voice over the comm, “Move to the west side,”

“I’m on a stakeout,”

“I’ll send Red Robin,”

“This is my target,”

“The west side Robin,”

“Fine,” Robin stands, a sour expression on his face, “I have to go,”

“Do you?” She for one never listened to Batman.

“... it’s orders,” With that Robin leaves.

Still, following orders huh?

Of course, Batman would be nothing like the league, no matter how much he annoyed her. But still was similar in ways. Lack of choice. Following orders. He didn’t even create his own identity as a hero just following the mantel of Robin. Marinette had formed her identity as Ladybug long before she knew there was a mantel to uphold, and if she had known? There's no way she could have handled it.

How was he expected to grow this the same base structure? Her Maman was the most amazing person she knew, but though cryptid stories missing crucial details Marinette had pieced together that wasn't always the case. No, she had become the person she was by striking out on her own, by being brave enough to step out. By getting the chance to fall in love. Marinette could only wonder what kind of person Robin could be if he allowed himself to do the same.

--------

No taglist I cant keep track of them :P

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #miraculous fandom #Marinette #miraculous marinette #badass marinette #maribat #daminette

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wallwriterstuff · 4 years

Text

The Little Ways You Say I Love You ||Demetri Volturi x Reader||

Summary: Demetri is well aware how fragile humans can be and needs a little reminder that to touch you isn’t to kill you. Loving a vampire isn’t easy, but you find a way to compromise that suits both your needs.

Warnings: None, for once it’s nice and fluffy

Words: 4071

There were certain things humans did that were very endearing. The way you scrunched your nose for example when you were confused or showing your distaste for something, and that sweet way you snuggled down into your duvet when you slept. It was also incredibly cute how excited you got when exploring somewhere/something new, eyes shining as you bounced about. Your sleepy confusion when you first got up or had been up too long, your sweet little sneezes and sniffles when the flowers in the garden invaded your nose, your habit of fidgeting – it was all still so new to him and Demetri would be lying if he said he didn’t find it absolutely adorable. Your humanity was something he had originally not batted an eye at – you were going to be a vampire in the end after all so what was the point – until you had started showing these little traits that left him falling a little harder for you every time he saw them. Then, of course, there were the downsides to mortality.

You got sick. You couldn’t go without eating lest you become sluggish and nauseated. You sometimes had nightmares when you slept and terrified him when you woke with a gasp or a scream. Your skin turned shades of black, yellow and blue when you hit your limbs off of inanimate objects - and Felix’s abdomen but you had both sworn a pact to never tell Demetri that was how your knuckles had ended up bruised – that Demetri never seemed to be able to steer you clear of despite his speed. If you tripped or hit them just right your skin also, heaven forbid, tore like tissue paper, tempting him with your sweet sweet blood. He was grateful that didn’t happen as often as you added to your collection of bruises. He was also well aware of how fragile your bones were, susceptible to shatter from the slightest pressure. In short, all the things he found so endearing could very easily be wiped out by illness, injury, and the common flaw of mortality that was, simply, that it wasn’t built to last.

Demetri was painfully aware of all of these things when it came to you, having accidentally left his fingerprints on your wrist for days after trying to make sure you didn’t step into the way of an oncoming car once. He had felt awful; it was almost painful to watch how slowly your skin faded back to it’s normal colouring, and he’d honestly had no idea you’d get so sick when he ran with you for the first time, feeling immensely guilty as he dared not put his hands on your heaving form lest he make it any worse. It was a pattern you’d noticed for a few weeks now and you hated it. Demetri had been nothing but good to you from the day you’d met him, a bit dismissive at first perhaps but very attentive when it came to your needs so you were never uncomfortable in your new home. You’d not had much choice once you’d been pulled from the tour group but to stay with him, especially after hearing the screams you should have been contributing to – nobody of sound mind would let you go with what you knew.

It was very obvious that Demetri had never really expected to meet you, and the sudden appearance of his mate had left him at a bit of a loss, especially when he realised you were human. You could almost see inside his mind in the early days as he watched you explore your new home with a mystified but doting expression, looking very much like a parent watching their child toddle about after finding their feet for the first time. What do I do with a human? The answer was very simple and you let him know soon enough, that if he expected you to fall hopelessly in love with him then you’d like to see the real him doing things he loved. He’d taken you out a lot after that, having to learn to balance your need for rest with his fun-packed dates. In all that time, from the first moment he’d accidentally bruised you (and consequently saved you from the wrath of a very angry Italian woman who was clearly in a hurry that day) pulling you out of the way of that car, he’d not touched you since.

You weren’t expecting the world from him, you knew it took a lot of self-control for him to even be near you some days, but you were only human. You were never one of those people who preferred their own company and had grown up in a family were physical touch was common place, whether it be from hugs or from cousins poking you constantly, you naturally craved physical contact and Demetri seemed to naturally withhold it. You knew it was out of fear for your safety, and you didn’t want to force him to spend long hours snuggling with you or do anything extravagant if it meant putting him through any sort of discomfort, but would it really kill him to hold your hand when you went out and about to places? Was it really the end of the world if he gave you a brief hug when you were upset? He seemed to think you’d collapse if he so much as breathed on you, or at least, that’s how it felt.

At first it had just been a bit annoying. It was a quirk of his you’d tried to learn to live with until it began to wear you down some. You had been given a three-month grace period to settle in, and time was very quickly passing you by. The longer it went on the less desirable you felt. Logically you were well aware your thinking was stupid, that Demetri was refraining from touching you for any other reason than simply wanting to ensure he didn’t hurt you, but the lack of contact forewent all logic to that lingering anxiety that perhaps your human self wasn’t enough to attract him. Maybe he didn’t want to touch you. You’d subconsciously tried dressing a little nicer and being a little more flirty just to see if it would encourage him to touch you, even if it was just his hand on your arm briefly, and you were disappointed to find that it didn’t work.

He’d been on a mission for his masters for the last few days, leaving you alone to wallow in your thoughts. You’d been lonely with all your usual friends gone from the castle and you knew full well you couldn’t expect him to greet you with a hug when he returned, though he would, in his own way, still greet you warmly. Vampires, you had learned, were eerily quiet, though you supposed they had no reason to be loud, so consequently when they weren’t around to make conversation with the castle was silent. Creepily silent. In an effort to chase away that silence, you’d turned to music. Demetri’s quarters were on the floor reserved specifically for the high-ranking guardsmen, and since they were all out there would be no Jane to pound on the door and demand you turn it down, or Felix shouting from his own room that her taste in music was horrible.

So you cranked the volume up.

High.

Then turned it back down because Caius’s face had unwittingly entered your mind and he looked even more irritated with you than usual.

After a few minutes of altering the volume to what you considered the optimum level, you finally settled back onto the sofa with the intention of just enjoying the music as you continued to read one of Demetri’s many books. By the bottom of the first page you were tapping your toe along to the beat. By the bottom of the third you were bobbing your head. By the time you hit page number five you were bopping side to side in your seat. You had abandoned your book entirely by page number seven in favour of grabbing the TV remote and using it as microphone, and you had an absolute blast. You imagined yourself on stage, a thousand adoring hands reaching for you as you sang your heart out and danced around the room, switching between air guitars and pillow dance partners. You could practically feel the way your mood shifted, the beginnings of your sulking long gone as your face flushed and your smile widened, nothing but the light, euphoric love for good music filling you from head to toe.

Then the ultimate karaoke song came on, and you squealed in delight as you uncaringly turned the music up far louder than you knew any of the ancient masters would like. You danced about the room, trotting like a pony and waving your arms to the beat as the intro played itself out, and then your microphone lifted, the fans went wild and you turned to point at them all, only to freeze. Demetri’s vibrantly red eyes were filled with mirth, his lips spread into a wide grin as he stood in the doorway, cloak draped over his arm. Mouth frozen open, you took a moment to feel the sheer horror at being caught red-handed.

“Please, don’t stop on my account.” He insisted, turning to hang his cloak up on the coat stand near his door. It hung neatly beside your own jacket and coat. He looked unfairly good considering he’d probably crossed hundreds of thousands of miles on foot in the past few days, not a hair out of place and pearl white teeth gleaming at you. You, on the other hand, were flushed bright red, hair falling in your eyes thanks to your dancing knocking it out of your neat style, and probably sweating a little.

“You…are back.” You said. Demetri tilted his head slightly, discarding his jacket next and rolling up the sleeves of his button up shirt.

“I am back.” He confirmed. You bit your lip, your embarrassment lingering still as he crossed to turn the music down slightly, to a more bearable volume for his sensitive ears.

“I missed you.” You told him honestly, fingers itching. You wanted to reach for him but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Demetri seemed to sense your change in attitude, his amusement fading and being replaced instead by something that seemed to be an odd mix of confusion and concern. He came to stand before you, hand almost reaching for your arm before he retracted it.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you my love, you looked like you were having fun.” He said. You couldn’t quite bring your eyes to move from his hand, the hand that had almost answered your silent prayers, that had very almost touched you. He’d been gone for three days, would he really deny you the contact you wanted if you were just honest with him?

“I was.” You agreed softly, tossing your remote control microphone aside and trying to pluck up the bravery to just do it. His hand was right there, loose and open. You could easily slip your palm against his. What was the worst that could happen? Well he could always snatch his hand away and reaffirm your ridiculous beliefs about being undesirable in every way shape and form but, what were the odds of that? You quickly stopped letting yourself think when your brain tried to work out the statistics.

“I need to shower, you’ll have some more time to yourself while I’m in there if that’s what you would like.” He assured you. You shook your head immediately, the last thing you wanted was for him to leave you so soon after he’d just gotten back. You took a breath and quickly reached for his hand, looking up at him with pleading eyes while he visibly stiffened at your touch.

“Dance with me?” you pleaded. Demetri’s crimson irises flickered to your joined hands briefly, his grip was non-existent, and you could almost feel him trying to pull away. Your heart quietly shattered.

“I’m not entirely sure how you would dance to this music.” He admitted. It wasn’t a resounding no at least and he still hadn’t forced you to let go. You bit your lip, a small flicker of hope igniting in your chest that must have shown on your face.

“Please try?” you asked, slowly lifting your joined hands so you could twirl beneath his arm. Demetri’s grip remained awfully loose and he almost seemed to flinch when you reached for his other hand, carefully moving your arms back and forth, hips swinging. You had no clue what you were doing either, you were simply compiling dance moves one on top of the other with no rhyme or reason, speeding up as you went. It was…honestly hilarious. Your discontent was very quickly forgotten seeing the effort Demetri was putting into this ridiculous dancing for you. His movements were gracefully awkward, his vampirism not letting him look stupid despite the fact that he very clearly should given the mismatched way his top and bottom halves were moving. You giggled at him and Demetri shot you a playful glare in response.

“What? You think this is funny? I am the height of trendy. My moves are so fashionable they’re ahead of their time.” He teased, letting you go in favour of pulling a ridiculous John Travolta pose, his head bobbing as he did the classic disco moves you were sure the human race had tried to bury in the film Footloose. You laughed, happily mimicking him with far less grace as the pair of you utilised the space in your room to full advantage. Demetri made no attempt to stop you whenever you grabbed him, your smile only widening whenever he let you take his hand to twist him one way or spin yourself about the next. You were exhausted, barely able to breathe through your laughter when you inevitably tripped over your own feet, colliding with his chest as the cliché moment demanded.

Panting and still giggling to yourself you were completely unaware he even had his arms around you until you tried to pull back and found yourself trapped in his embrace. Your giggles stopped abruptly, the shock clogging up your throat. With wide eyes, you looked up at him, slowly lifting your own arms to wrap back around him as he stared down at you with the most soft, vulnerable expression you’d ever seen on him. He looked entirely uncertain, his arms not quite loose but not tightly wrapped around your body either, as if he was fighting with himself to simply keep hold of you.

“Demetri…” you whispered. It was all you had wanted now for weeks, and here you were finally, home. There was a sense of contentment growing within you the longer he held you, a rightness that his embrace offered that made it feel like he’d locked all of your troubles and insecurities outside of the little bubble he’d created. You snuggled closer, determined to make the most of it while it lasted, but quickly felt guilty for the selfish move when he stiffened, muscles rigid with tenseness. “I’m sorry.” You said, attempting to squirm backwards out of his grasp. He let go immediately, his eyes widening.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked immediately, eyes a little frantic.

“No!” you groaned, sounding more exasperated than you wanted to. Demetri frowned, picking up on it and looking equal parts confused and wounded. You sighed, crossing to the speaker and turning it off. The silence between you was deafening for a long moment as you organised your thoughts, trying to figure out what to say to him next.

“What’s wrong my love?” he asked quietly, “Please, talk to me.” He looked so earnest, like he really wanted to listen and figure out how to fix the problem. He was like a big puppy sometimes, desperate to give you love but unsure how to do it in an acceptable way. It made your heart ache and your cheeks flush simultaneously because you knew it was really your own problem, your own silly insecurities. Playing with your fingers, you ducked your gaze and took a deep breath, exhaling in a huff before looking back up at him.

“I need you to know you’re not going to hurt me just by touching me.” You said finally, “I’m not made of glass Demetri, I’m not going to shatter at the slightest touch.” Demetri’s brows tugged down into a frown.

“I am very capable of hurting you my love, I’m only careful with you to avoid that.” He answered.

“But you don’t avoid that, you avoid me.” You retorted, eyes dropping to the floor again, “I know you mean well and I don’t want to make you do anything you’re not comfortable with but…isn’t there a way to compromise? Something little we could do that just, that makes me feel like…” you stumbled over the words, knowing they’d hurt him greatly. Demetri was nothing if not dedicated to you and to suggest he wasn’t was practically blasphemy.

“Like…”he prompted. You swallowed, risking a quick glance up at him and feeling your stomach curl at the anxious expression on his face.

“Like you actually want me.” You said softly. The way his entire expression crumpled made you feel intensely guilty, so much so you felt tears spring to your eyes. You forced yourself to blink them back. You’d had such a good afternoon, you’d been laughing together without a care in the world not ten minutes ago and you’d just had to go and spill your guts to ruin it hadn’t you? You really hadn’t been expecting his cold hand to envelope yours, his eyes watching your expression carefully as he tested the smallest amount of pressure he could possibly exert to tighten his grip on your palm.

“I am careful with you because of how badly I want you.” He said, his voice quiet and earnest, “Please believe me, it was never my intention to make you feel undesirable. I still can’t honestly say I feel entirely comfortable with the idea of embracing you but…maybe, we could start with this?” he suggested, lifting your hands slightly. Your heart swelled, eye shining as you stared down at his fingers curled around yours, relished in the strangely warm coolness of his skin. You nodded earnestly.

“Please. I’m happy with just this.” You promised, squeezing his hand lightly. Demetri sucked in a breath.

“Are you sure?” he questioned. You nodded vigorously, unable to keep the smile from spreading across your face. You hadn’t wanted the world from him, just a small amount of contact comfort every now and then. Demetri looked utterly relieved you weren’t pushing him further, quietly content with his own brave leap.

“I’m sure…didn’t you need a shower?” you asked, cocking your head to the side. His lips twitched into the smuggest little smirk you’d ever seen on him.

“Maybe I’m not done holding your hand?” he suggested.

“Then maybe you can keep on holding it?” you smiled.

Demetri kept true to his word to, trying his best to introduce a little bit of physical contact throughout your day. He kept it at hand holding for a while, slowly testing the waters with a hug or two here and there. He had developed a nice little system of taps for his worse days, where the fear he’d hurt you was just a little too much, and you came to cherish the small but meaningful touch between you both that only the two of you ever understood.

Suddenly, three months were up. Demetri had prepared you well for what you’d face during the change theoretically, but nothing he could have said or done would have ever prepared you for the sheer agony of it all. You burned constantly, a raging inferno consuming every cell and every fibre of your being. You dared not scream though. You knew better than anyone how deep his fear of hurting you ran, that the anxiety in his eyes when he had pulled his teeth from your skin was nothing to do with whether or not you’d make it but had everything to do with the fact he knew he was causing you an intense, immeasurable amount of agony. He had never wished to do that at all, so you pursed your lips so hard your teeth cut your lips and you tasted blood, determined not to make him feel any worse for this than he probably already felt. Your fortitude was admirable all things considered and every time you envisioned Demetri’s heartbroken face it was renewed, your lips clamping once more after the agony had slowly worn them down and loosened the seal holding back your screams.

By the time the fire rescinded, you were so ready for it to be over you had considered, selfishly, begging for Alec to take the pain away, Demetri be damned. You went from the odd sensation of floating on fire to being lowered deeper and deeper in a cool lake, soothing the ache and the burn that had ravaged your body. Once the cold lake had stole your breath, you were catapulted to the surface, and your eyes snapped open. You were acutely aware of every little detail surrounding you. You could count the threads in the curtains surrounding the four-poster bed you lay on, trace the grooves in the wooden bed frame with your eyes. You could feel every stitch in the duvet beneath you, the softness of the interwoven threads leaving you in awe. Then there was the sound, the far off sounds of something scurrying in the castle gardens, of people talking and laughing, of music. Your nose twitched to life then to, a mixture of fruit and flora and cologne and fresh breeze and –

“Y/N?”

Your head snapped right, lip curling back over your teeth as a warning growl slipped up from your chest and rumbled in your throat. It took you a fraction of a second to place the features of the man before you, the dark red eyes, the sharp jawline, the chestnut brown hair…

“Demetri.” You said, blinking in shock at your new, melodic voice. He chuckled slightly, but his eyes remained somewhat sad. He was in awe of you as you zoomed to an abrupt stop in front of him, giggling at your newfound speed like a child, but there was something in his eyes that spoke of an intense amount of guilt you had trouble placing. His hand was soft and warm against your cheek, nothing like the cool temperature you were used to feeling from his flesh, but you leaned into his touch regardless, surprised he’d so willingly given it. Then you remembered, you were a lot more durable now, weren’t you? He was far less afraid of breaking you and probably more wary that if you weren’t careful, you could break him. You almost flinched, the sudden, intense stab of terror that you might accidentally crush him both ironic and bringing a level of understanding you’d struggled with before.

“I am…awestruck. You are magnificent my love,” He said, voice soft and wistful, “Can you forgive me?” Forgive him? Your face fell into a frown? Forgive him for what? For changing you? You’d already forgiven him for taking you out of that tour group long ago, happy beyond belief to be with your mate and not six feet under somewhere, even if you did miss home. You felt it even more acutely now, how right it was to be with him, to be near him, to be touched by him. You decided whatever he wanted forgiveness for didn’t matter. You wouldn’t even ask him to qualify what he meant. This was a fresh start for both of you now and you were ready to take it, to start eternity with him by your side. So, you reached up to the hand cradling your face and gently tapped the back of his hand twice. Demetri’s lips twitched, and they pulled higher and higher until his face had split into an adoring smile.

There were many things he had found endearing about your humanity, but the little ways you said I love you were perhaps his favourite.

#Demetri Volturi x reader #Demetri Volturi Fanfiction #Demetri Volturi imagines #demetri #volturi #volturi fanfiction #twilight #twilight imagine #twilight fanfiction #x reader #volturi x reader #demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader

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moonyblackwerewolf · 3 years

Text

The Letter Ch. 3 - Sirius Black

Betrothed Ch. 3

Sirius Black x fem!Reader

Word count: 3.2k

Summary: Sirius and Y/N meet at a family dinner and have some fun, later she finds out she is betrothed to some pureblood boy so Sirius comes up with a mental idea to save them both.

Warnings: Kissing, hints of sex, 'aggressive' parents, underage drinking, idk my writing and English? lol

a/n: I don't really know how i feel about this, so i hope you guys like it. Feedback is always welcome too :)

Xxxx

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch. 2.5 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch. 5

The exams were now over, Y/N and Lily were at the Great Hall eating breakfast, the smell of bacon and fruits invading their noses, they could enjoy the morning Saturday sun and the pancakes without worrying about the exams.

“What did you think about the Potions test? I can’t stop thinking about that last question I think got it wrong” Lily mumbled while picking up an apple.

“Oh Lils, you are so cute” Y/N laughed at her friend’s worries. “I can’t remember, but we can go to library today and check, but I’m sure you got it right, Slughorn has his reasons for inventing you for his little club” Y/N/N pointed out and Lily nodded, while looking at her sister who was staring suspiciously at her “At least you got in for pure talent, not because he wanted to suck up to your father” she chuckled, trying to avoid her sister’s gaze.

“That’s a lie, you’re one of the best Potions student Y/N/N i’m sure you-” Lily was cut off by Diana standing by her sister’s side.

“Got your mail yet Y/N/N? I’m so delighted for you, when Mother and Father told me I started planning the party already, Slytherin common room Sunday 8 p.m, also if you need help getting your hair done you can ask me.” Y/N was scared, her sister was never this nice to her, something was going on.

“Why Sunday?” But she was interrupted.

As if Diana knew when the letter would arrive, an Elegant snowy owl showed up carrying a letter from her parents. “What’s that” she was now genuinely scared as she saw Lucius looking at her from the Slytherin table. Lily who has calmed her down on several sleepless nights after the Malfoy incident looked between the two girl worried, connecting the dots about the letter’s content, as her friend read the letter and stormed out of the Hall. Lily tried to follow her but she just vanished. She looked for Y/N everywhere but she seemed to be nowhere to be found, she was feeling scared and even desperate, what could’ve made Y/N so upset, her family of course, but what did they do?

Y/N was in the only place in the castle Lily didn’t look for, the Hufflepuff common room, her friend Amos Diggory, a handsome boy, who would was loyal and would do anything for his friends, let her in and stay in his room, since it was Saturday and everyone was outside. She laid in his bed, heart racing threatening to jump off her chest, she felt sick and completely and utterly alone and unloved, she felt stuck in a life she never asked for and an inevitable future, this feeling of despair was too much for her to hold, like she would always do. Y/N buried her faced in Amos’ pillow and cries the life out of her, she couldn’t believe and in the same time she always knew this would happen, but it didn’t make it all less painful.

“Hi” Amos knocked on the room’s door delicately earning a jump from the girl. “I’m sorry, but you seem like someone who desperately needs a friend” he said with a sympathetic smile.

She smiled warmly at the boy and let him sit by her side, he offered her his shoulder to cry on, soothing the girl, even though he didn’t know why she was so sad. Eventually she told him everything and he was as disgusted as she was, his heart ached for his friend, he couldn’t imagine what was like to have her parents and go through what she was. He could only help.

“You should go tell your friends, they never leave your side, they’ll probably want to know about this, you should trust them Y/N/N” he suggested with a reassuring smile, wrapping her in a hug. Y/N loved that on Amos, he was so sweet and helpful and never asked for anything in return, he was a true Hufflepuff, she always teased him.

“But I don’t want them to worry, it’s not really easy for me to trust people and it’s nothing really, I don’t want to be dramatic” she sighed looking troubled.

“Y/N/N, i can assure you, you’re not being dramatic” he paused looking at her with a concerned smile “You have all the right to be upset, i’d be too in your situation, i’d demand justice for me and the other person too, it’s not fair, but you should tell your friends, they must be really worried”

“You’re right badger, thank you for letting me stay here, if you ever need something you know where to find me” she mumbled quietly still trying to hold her tears desperately.

It was nighttime by the time she was heading to the Gryffindor tower. The marauders were at the empty Gryffindor common room, they had just finished packing and were siting by the fireplace talking, Lily looking worried whispering to herself places she might’ve forgotten to search, when y/n entered the room the girl stood up fast and wrapped her in the tightest hug she could give only letting her friend go after her arms became sore, y/n mumbled a thank you hugging Lily again and then gave Sirius a kiss on the cheek and laid on his chest, she was looking completely broken, that made the boys get concerned too.

“Hey guys” she said with voice of someone who has been crying. Sirius started caressing her hair, the group was now completely quiet until.

“Y/n-” Remus Lupin said softly “What’s wrong? Have you been crying?” His question made everyone look at her and she shifted in her Sirius lap a bit, his hands still caressing her hair patiently waiting for her answer, Lily was sitting next to them in the sofa, she grabbed her friend’s hand reassuringly.

“I got this letter from my parents today- at breakfast” she said, her voice completely numb she sounded like someone who had abandoned all hope. She then took a letter with a fancy wax seal with an “W” from her coat, she couldn’t say it so she handed it to Sirius. The seal was already broken from when she read it earlier and the parchment had stains that suggested crying, he started reading the letter, Lily peaking too, while the other boys were curious and he’s blood was boiling with anger.

He stood up abruptly and screamed “No way they're making you do this- Over my dead body, Y/n”. Sirius’ reaction startled the boys, but he was so angry he didn’t even notice James taking the letter and reading it aloud.

Dear Y/n,

Your father and i are delighted to inform you that after a few meetings with family friends, we have decided, together with the Malfoys, that you and their son, Lucius, are now engaged and the marriage will happen soon after your graduation.

Lucius has already talked with his parents and he is more than happy for taking your hand in matrimony if you accept him, in our meeting with Abraxas Malfoy this evening, he has told us how Lucius cares about and wants to protect you. Therefore we were shocked to hear that you’ve been spending many nights in the Gryffindor tower and been ignoring your fellow housemates including Lucius.

In light of theses events we’ve decided that you will be spending Christmas break in the Malfoy manor, so you and Lucius can seal each other’s promise contract and get used to each other and future married life.

Now Y/n, you are going to listen very carefully what i’m going to tell you, young lady, you are going to behave AND accept this proposal, the Malfoys are a very respectful pureblood family, they were extremely delighted to know about your interest in their son. The Watson name carries weight in our world, I don’t want you doing anything that could compromise that. Now you are going to sleep every night of the rest of your years at Hogwarts in the Slytherin dorms, we already talked with Lucius and he is going to stay with you the whole night if necessary.

With Love,

Charles Edward Watson and Louise Helena Watson

“Holy shit y/n/n” James gasped “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe your parents would do that” he paused pondering if he should joke or not, and figured it could help “but is that their way of making you shag Malfoy?, Godric they’ don’t even try to be subtle” y/n chuckled humourlessly.

“Really? because I do, that’s what all these crazy purists families do, they breed their children, they don’t care about love or anything of the sort, I can’t believe how much time I spent putting up with their shit, pretending to agree with them” she hissed starting to sound more angry, she couldn’t believe it herself she just couldn't admit.

“Y/n we won’t let that happen” Remus reassured her grabbing other her hand “we’ll do anything to help you” all the boys and Lily agreed, except for Sirius that was on a weird kind of angry trance. Lily jumped from her seat and hugged her best friend with all the love she could give again.

She was happy to see her friends helping her, she didn’t feel as alone as she felt this morning, but still, reality was rough, she’d have to marry that prick Lucius Malfoy that she and the Marauders hated so much, he was a real blood purist just like their parents and that made her feel suffocated.

Suddenly Sirius burst out of his trance and went to his dorm, which scared the remaining group on the common room, making Y/n follow him. The common room went silent. After she left they sighed “I can’t believe she’s having to go through that, she doesn’t deserve it, this year she’s been nothing but a good friend, she even helped you study Moony and she became your best friend Lily, we all know you talk about us when you’re alone” James sighed “I wish we could do something for her”.

“Yes, we sure do Potter” Lily shrugged a bit absentmindedly, wondering what was happening in the other room.

“Siri, what’s going on with you?” She asked a bit startled by his sudden weirdness, while standing in the threshold. He was searching for something frenetically in his trunk. “What are you searching for Sirius?”

“Y/n/n- Y/n” he turned to her seriously “there’s no way i’m letting you marry Malfoy” he stared so deep into her eyes that she felt a shiver run down her spine.

“Thanks you Sirius, I love you for that, but there's nothing me or you can do to help, believe me i’ve been trying to find a way out since i read that letter, but there isn’t” she sighed her voice cracking “All I can do is enjoy the little time i’ve left before i’m Mrs. Malfoy” she ran her hand in her face and looked at Sirius “But I appreciate your efforts” Sirius made his way to where she was and caressed her cheeks looking at her with a determination Y/n couldn’t understand.

“I’m going to do everything i can to help you- even if I’ll have ask my monster of a mother for help” he revealed.

“What?” She gasped, surprised and confused at his revelation to say the least.

“I hate to say it out loud but- I’m still a Black, from the Noble house of Black” He paused and Y/n began to catch up with his plan, still a little shocked “I bet it’ll be easy to convince my mom, if i Sirius Black, her hopeless case of a son, tell her he wants to marry Elena Watson the daughter of the Royal house of Watson, she would finally be at least pleased with me”

“WHAT?! No way Sirius, no- no! absolutely not” she almost choked on her words, shock written all over her face. “I’m not letting you ruin your life for me! No way! Do you even know what you’d be doing? You’d be committing yourself for the rest of your life and you know your parents AND mine wouldn’t let us divorce till the day they die at least! There is no going back and they certainly won’t let us escape, never” She was not going to let him ruin his life too.

“I know that perfectly well, but would it be that bad? we’re best friends and it’s not like we never slept together before” Y/n was in shock, left without words, Sirius Black wanting to commit with someone, he truly was a good friend but she looked at him with a gaze that said ‘no’ “Y/n… if you don’t accept this, then i’ll help you escape” he grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his chest, for a moment he wondered what about it made him feel so angry, angrier than the other boys, he felt this urge to protect her so much it almost hurt “I- just- i can’t stand seeing you suffering from this and being forced to sleep in the same bed as Malfoy- it makes me so angry, i want to protect you- I promised I would protect you, you’ve became one of my best friends this year I can’t let you go through this” he was looking at her with desperate eyes, almost imploring her to let him help her, it made Y/n’s heart jump from her chest.

“I don’t know what to do Sirius” her eyes were filling up with tears again, she was trying hard not to cry, as a wave of courage hit her and made her stop, she needed to grow up. “But I can’t escape my home, my parents would find me and probably-” she paused reconsidering if telling Sirius about her parents’ ways of parenting was a good idea, remembering Amos’ words, but even though she decided against it, she didn’t want him to worry more then he already was “I’m going to be okay, everything’s going to be fine. I’m going home and i’ll tell my parents that i won’t oblige, that I won’t be a pawn on their sick game of blood purity” she finished, more determined than she had been during the day, knowing that it’d be a foolish mistake, but it was confrontation or marriage.

“Are you sure Y/n? You want me to go with you?” He asked concerned, not feeling confident in her idea, it seemed dangerous and reckless, normally he’d love a little danger, but the fact that she could get hurt made him opposed to it.

“Yes, you don’t need to come with me, I think its better if I go alone, my parents can get- irritated. I’ll send you letters and i’ll keep you updated i promise” with that she kissed his cheek.

“Y/n/n are you really sure? I don’t think it’s- I don’t know your parents but I know mine and they wouldn’t react really well if I confronted them that way” Y/n knew what Sirius meant, but she had to try, so she whispered a yes burying her head in his neck as he wrapped her in a tight hug.

They both returned to the common room, updating their friends about what had happened and then they tried to have a pleasant last day at Hogwarts, the boys reassured Y/n even more and promised they’d be there for her if she ever needs them. The rest of the day they tried to forget all of their problems and talked, James kept trying to invite Lily out and she kept saying no while everyone laughed at the boy, Y/n laid in Sirius’s chest enjoying this little interactions while she still could. Sirius’ plan never left the back of his mind, he wasn’t sure if she’d be able to convince the Watsons, they didn’t strike him as understanding people. Little did he know how right he was.

The next day went by fast, everyone finished packing and met at the train station. The group left the Hogwarts Express and entered platform 9 3/4 everyone said their goodbyes, hugging and wishing Y/n worried good lucks, then heading to their respective families.

“I wish you could meet my family, Y/n/n, expect my sister, she’d be mean to you” Lily pouted as Y/n hugged her tightly for the last time in two weeks. “I’m gonna write you ok? with the names we planned” the both best friends chuckled, they had created nicknames so Y/n’s parents wouldn’t suspect about Lily.

“Oh Lils thank you, I’m gonna miss you so much, wish you could visit me” Y/n whispered sadly leaving Lily’s embrace after she said she would miss her too, heading to Sirius.

“Hey beautiful” Sirius murmured while wrapping her in a hug and lifting her making her laugh. “Wanna meet mommy and daddy Black, they’ll love you?”

“Of course” she chuckled in his lap, being so close to him made her heart jump faster, she didn’t want to let go, never “And of course they will, how could they not like me” she joked.

Sirius put her in the ground slowly, heart jumping too, grabbed her wrist and the two of them walked to where his parents and brother were waiting, he hated his parents but he wanted an excuse to spend more time with her. “Mother, Father, this is Y/n Watson” he mocked his parents, who were clearly shocked their son had perhaps grown some sense into his head.

“Miss Watson, what a pleasure to see you again, darling, how are your parents doing?” Mr. and Mrs. Black asked politely. Walburga was a tall raven haired woman with an elegant appearance and stern face, she was quite scary, Mr. Black looked just like his wife but older and more serious.

“Suck ups” Sirius whispered in her ears making her giggle, she could feel his breath against her ear and it made her shiver.

“They’re alright, thank you Mr. Black, how are you?” Y/n asked, looking so much like her mother that it scared Sirius, he had to hide his laugh.

Before Mr. Black answered, Mr. and Mrs. Watson showed up, with angry faces. Mrs. Watson grabbed Y/n’s wrist strongly making her wince, pushing her to their side.

“Walburga, Orion, what a pleasure to see you” Mr. Watson offered his hand to the couple, softening his face a little, Mrs. Watson smiled, while whispering.

“Y/n, where is Lucius? Haven’t you been seeing him? You should be here with him young lady” her mother hissed at her, angry with the lack of effort from her daughter to make the marriage happen.

Sirius looked at Y/n’s wrist and suspected, he felt angry at Mrs. Watson, something was wrong, but he couldn’t do anything in front of their parents, so he just looked reassuringly at her.

“Pleasure to see you too Charles, we hope to see you and Louise at the Rosiers later this week” Mrs. Black politely suggested.

“Of course” with that the Watsons said goodbye and the both families headed their separate ways, breaking Sirius’ and Y/n’s grasp on each other.

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caspianjames · 3 years

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BONUS Up And Coming: Julie and the Phantoms

Up and Coming: Julie and the Phantoms Jennifer McCreedy, Junior Correspondent

On this month’s issue of Up and Coming I had the privilege of sitting down with one of America’s biggest up and coming bands, Julie and the Phantoms. Julie Molina (17), Reggie Peters (18), Alex Mercer (17), and Luke Patterson (17) began rapidly gaining popularity as YouTube stars last fall. They created music videos for songs they wrote themselves, editing them to appear as if the band were ghosts “popping in” behind Julie. Don’t understand what I mean? You can click here to check it out for yourself!

The band has a strong air of camaraderie, and it’s the first thing I notice when I walk into the room with them. They’re all piled on our big interview couch, Molina and Mercer are pressed together whispering. Patterson is bantering with Peters and flicks him in the forehead. They’re like any group of teenagers bordering on adulthood, excited and eager to please. It’s immediately apparent that to all of them, the band has a deep meaning of friendship and support.

Of course, the first topic of conversation was about the band - what inspired the structure of their music videos, how they got their name, and which came first - the ghost music videos or the ghost band!

“Since my mom died, my brother has really been into ghosts,” Molina explained to me. “It was actually his idea for the band to pop in like that. My dad does videography as his job, so he was able to help us film and edit. My best friend, Flynn Taylor, came up with the band name.”

The boys all laugh when I ask if they liked the name right away or if there were discussions before they went public with it. “Flynn doesn’t do discussions,” Mercer smiles at Julie like there’s an inside joke there. There probably is, seeing how close these four are. “They came up with the name and made us posters, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter before even asking us what we thought.”

“We loved it,” Peters is quick to jump in. “And we love Flynn. She knew we’d like it, or they wouldn’t have gone ahead with everything.”

Flynn Taylor, Julie’s best friend, doubles as the band manager - she is on tour with them, but opted not to be present for the interview.

Since beginning their tour with Panic! At the Disco, all their videos have amassed over one million views each on YouTube and their music has been released on Spotify with startlingly quick success. Molina, I discovered, is actually the newest member of the band, although I would never have known from watching the four bandmates interact. She is also the youngest by a year, having just had her seventeenth birthday as the boys are all turning eighteen, but she holds herself with a quiet confidence that all the boys seem to look to. Even this early into the interview they defer to her to answer questions and look to her for reactions to their own answers.

This made it especially surprising to find out that the band existed before Julie joined it, just under a different name. Sunset Curve. Clearly, it did not have the popularity that Julie and the Phantoms has even a few months into their creation. “We played a couple school shows and stuff,” Patterson told me, “but nothing clicked until we met Julie.” Luke Patterson carries a humming energy with him that comes across in his words. In true rocker fashion, he struggles to sit still, tapping his fingers on his thighs and softly bouncing on the couch.

Unsurprisingly, Molina used similar words to describe the band’s first meeting. “The first time I sang with them at school we just clicked,” she says, smiling at Luke.

Of course, given their success, I had to ask the question everyone wants to know. How did they end up opening for Panic! At the Disco, despite being relatively unknown outside the Los Angeles music scene previous to their debut at The Orpheum?

“We’ve seen some wild theories,” Mercer confides to me with a small smile on his face. He is arguably the most subdued of the group and generally seems content to watch his bandmates answer my questions. Don’t be fooled, though - not only is he a phenomenal drummer, he also sings backup vocals for Julie and the Phantoms. “My favouirte theory was one that caught a lot of steam on Twitter about us using ‘ghost powers’,” he adds air quotes with his hands and laughs, “to hide the scheduled opener’s tour bus and then pop into the venue in their place at the time they were supposed to perform.”

The whole band laughs at this - clearly it is a favourite theory amongst them. Peters adds, though, that it was clearly an unfounded theory given that “Julie doesn’t have any ghost powers, anyways. That’s why it’s Julie and the Phantoms. But I’d kill for ghost powers in real life.” When I ask what he’d use them for, though, he seems stumped. “I think it would just be cool to walk through walls.” We’re with you on that one, Reggie!

But what actually did happen to get them into the coveted opening spot at The Orpheum? Molina gives me a modest smile when I ask. “We were honestly just in the right place at the right time,” she explains.

Patterson picks up the story from there with a little bit more flair, telling me that the opening band had actually gotten food poisoning - “from a street dog vendor, believe it or not” - and the manager of the Orpheum happened to be familiar with the Julie and the Phantoms YouTube page.

“Since we were local,” Peters explains, “It was just a phone call. And then suddenly we were on stage doing a proper professional soundcheck for the first time in our lives.”

“Everything moved so fast after that,” Patterson adds. Each of his bandmates nod in agreement as he speaks. “We blinked and we were on a tour bus, suddenly.”

It seems that the band is handling the change well, though.

“It’s definitely different,” Molina tells me. “We have to be responsible for our own school and make sure we’re turning in assignments on time. There’s a lot of driving and a lot of time to kill. We can get on each other’s nerves quite a bit, but there’s always a lot of time for songwriting, too.”

When I prompt her about who gets on who’s nerves, the whole band turns in tandem to look at Luke. He laughs and shrugs at me. “I’m an early riser,” he explains. “I like music in my hands twenty-four seven. I always have my guitar, but it isn’t always appreciated.”

“We’ve had to compromise,” Mercer says with a long-suffering sigh. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was the oldest of the group. “Luke isn’t allowed to start playing music until eleven in the morning the day after a show.”

As for being on tour with Panic!, none of them seem all too bothered by the fame of the headliners. “They’re really cool,” Peters explains to me. “They’ve been doing this a long time and they always have advice for us which I think we really value right now.”

Otherwise, though, the band seems to keep to themselves. When asked about their favouirte hobbies, Peters speaks at length about Star Wars. “I can’t watch the prequels before bed,” he says. His bandmates groan and shake their heads, although he seems unbothered. “Jar-Jar gives me nightmares.”

Other than Star Wars, “We try to make sure we get time and space for ourselves every day,” Molina says. “It’s a lot of us in a small space, and if we don’t get away from each other for a bit we argue a lot more.”

When I ask each of them who their favourite bandmate is to live with, all the boys say Julie and then turn expectantly for her answer. “I suppose Flynn doesn’t count as a bandmate,” she said with a sigh. “Probably Alex, but we live together normally so it’s not something that’s new.”

Mercer confirms this piece of information with a nod and a smile. “I prefer sharing a room with your brother to sharing a bus with you, though,” he says to Julie. She just rolls her eyes.

When pushed, Mercer elaborates a little bit. “I’ve been living with Julie’s family for my senior year. It’s a better environment for me and is much closer to our school than where I lived. My parents are happy that it gives me more time to focus on school.”

Since I have Mercer’s attention now, I ask him a question I’ve been dying to know the answer to. Does he know what a role model he is to gay and questioning children and teens that get to see him be himself so publicly?

As all the boys have been doing, he looks to Julie before answering. “I don’t think about it much, to be honest,” he says candidly. “If people think I’m a role model then I’m glad, but I’m just me. And being gay is part of me, a part of me that’s always been completely accepted by my band, just like my drumming or my singing.”

There was no tension, the band members explain, upon finding out about Alex’s sexuality. “No one was surprised when Alex came out,” Patterson adds. “We were only, like, twelve when he came out to us, anyway. It’s just a fact about who he is. Like, Alex is gay and hates mornings and I play the guitar and love mornings and we’re best friends.”

“Plus, I’m bisexual,” Peters adds, “So it would be hypocritical to have a problem with Alex.”

“I’m pansexual,” Patterson pipes up again. “And Alex being himself helped me figure out that part of myself.”

Molina doesn’t seem to have much to add. “Alex was already out when I met him,” she says. “It was never a surprise and someone’s sexuality shouldn’t be something that causes tension or makes people upset anyways.”

When I point out that it has seemed to cause some tension among fans, they all sigh. For unaware readers, the band has been stirring up quite the debate on Twitter and Instagram amongst fans and haters alike as to who is dating who. Patterson and Molina confirmed their relationship before going on tour and have been dating since before their band became popular. Recently, a Twitter user attending a Julie and the Phantoms meet and greet noted the closeness between Molina and Peters, causing fans to speculate that Molina is cheating on Patterson with Peters. When I ask if they'd like to address it, however, they all nod.

“Luke and I have been dating for a few months,” Julie says, “very happily. Neither of us have cheated on each other, nor would we ever. But we’re both also dating Reggie.”

When I ask for clarification, Peters adds, “I’m dating Luke and Julie, just like Julie is dating me and Luke and Luke is dating Julie and me.” Although it doesn’t sound clear, it does seem to be clear for them.

“We’d like people to give us our privacy, although we know that probably won’t happen,” Molina says. “We’re allowed to define our own relationships in the way that works for us, we don’t have to hold them up to anyone else’s expectations or preconceived notions of what a relationship should look like.”

When I ask if there’s anything they’d like to add before we wrap up, Patterson pipes up with a confident “Yes.”

“We’re Julie and the Phantoms,” he says, prompting Peters to follow up with “Tell your friends!”

Tell your friends, indeed. You can find Julie and the Phantoms everywhere that Panic! At the Disco is playing for the next four weeks.

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taglist under teh cut (ask to be added or removed!!)

@screamin-amuseum @angelwiththeblue-box @defultuser @peter-parkerson @willex-molina @thedepthsofhell @themongosianhorse @theamd426 @k-padfoot39 @wholitzukoonfire @invisibleraven @williesskateboard @leodolphin @moss-on-a-tree15

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fic #jatp smau #julie molina #luke patterson #reggie peters #alex mercer #flynn taylor #flynn lolastname #willie nolastname #jukebox #rukebox #juke #ruke #flarrie #willex

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collecting-stories · 4 years

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Streetlight - JJ Maybank

Request: Could you do a reader x jj where she’s a shy bookworm kook with no friends, jj is doing some work at her house and she finds him intimidating, he’s curious about her. He sees her getting picked on somewhere by some other kooks and he protects her somehow and comforts her. I dunno something like that, your so good at writing I know you can make this so much better that how I explained it ahah

Outer Banks Masterlist

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

The compromise was one night out doing normal teenage things to reassure your parents that you had friends and weren’t missing out on all the fun summer stuff people were supposedly doing this time of year and you could have the Grove Press first edition unrevised version of On The Road that someone was selling on ebay. It was a necessity, a collectible item that you would treasure for the rest of your life and it would look amazing in the glass cabinet that you’d gotten from ikea at the beginning of the year.

“One party and you can have the book.”

“I hate kook parties,” you tried to reason, eyes drifting passed your dad to the boy cutting your lawn. It was stupid and never in a million lightyears would anything ever happen but you had the smallest, tiniest, barely there crush on JJ Maybank, the pogue your dad hired to do odd jobs all summer. Clean the pool, mow the lawn, wash the cars, wash the boat, service the boat, service the cars, whatever he needed done JJ did it. For an extremely good deal, your dad definitely paid better than most. But you’d gotten used to seeing JJ around all summer. You hadn’t spoken to him but you knew of him and his friends. They threw epic parties.

“It’ll be fun.” Your dad replied.

The mower cut and JJ stopped to wipe his face on the shirt he’d taken off and hung over the handle of the mower. When he looked over your eyes went wide and you turned your attention back to your dad to pretend you weren’t just staring.

“It won’t be fun but fine.” You agreed. It was the only way to get that book and you wanted that book. The agreement was in place and your dad, satisfied with your decision to give into his compromise, switched gears from hassling you to focusing on lunch. He’d been claiming for the passed three days that he was in the mood for something pizza related but now he was debating between frozen pepperoni or frozen plain.

“Thoughts?” He asked, standing in front of the fridge, holding the two pizza boxes in hand.

You shrugged, “I don’t know, whatever you want?” You were working your way through a Whole Foods fruit salad and trying to organize your planner for the upcoming school year despite it only being the beginning of August.

Your dad nodded, laying them both down on the counter and turning the oven on to preheat before walking over to the French doors that lead out to the backyard.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting a second opinion.” He replied. He opened the door and shouted for JJ over the hum of the motor. When it finally cut out JJ turned to look at him, slightly startled.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got some pizza for lunch, you want some?”

“Uh sure, is that okay?”

“Of course, I’m offering it.” Your dad replied, “should be a few more minutes, finish up and come on in.” He let the door close behind him as he walked back into the kitchen. You had turned in your seat to watch and you followed your dad’s movements back to the oven to put the pizzas in. “What? You complain about ‘kooks’, you don’t like those kids either.”

“No. I didn’t say anything.”

“He seems like a nice kid.”

“I’m sure he is.”

“He’s obviously not sitting at home alone all summer either.”

“I’m not sure what you want from me.” You replied, “don’t get in trouble but also you don’t have enough friends so find some’.”

“I just think you’re a great kid and people don’t get to see that. They think you’re snobby and rude when you don’t talk to them.”

“I’m not.” You insisted. You didn’t have a problem with JJ or his friends. It wasn’t that you didn’t talk to them because you thought you were above them. You just didn’t like talking to people.

“They don’t know that.”

“What happened to not catering to other people and their perception of me?”

“An important rule…one you’ve clearly mastered sitting here doing arts & crafts while other kids your age have jobs or go hang out with friends.” He pointed out.

“It’s my day planner. Sue me for wanting it to look nice.” You huffed.

The door opened and both of you looked over as JJ came in. You turned back around quickly and refocused your attention on copying out the class schedule you’d been emailed that morning to avoid looking at a shirtless JJ as your dad pointed him toward the bathroom to clean up for lunch.

“Schedule in being more sociable.” He teased.

“You’re so funny.”

JJ came back into the room and you sucked in a breath, already feeling like you were starting to clam up with him so close to you. Especially when he sat down beside you at the island. You pushed the plastic container of fruit more toward him, avoiding eye contact as you spoke.

“Fruit?” Not the most astounding of questions but you couldn’t help it, he always made you nervous.

The kook party was as awful as you had imagined it being in your head. People you suffered through at school crowded in the first floor of someone’s house while music blared through surround-sound speakers. The party overflowed to the pool and you managed to find a quiet spot away from everyone, sitting on a lounger reading by the light of a tiki torch that was a hazard without the gathering of rowdy, drunk, teens. Not everyone was a kook, you’d spotted JJ and his friends almost instantly, obviously here because of Sarah and Kiara but you ignored all of them in favour of finishing the book you’d been working your way through for the last week and a half. An biographical look at the life of JD Salinger through the eyes of his daughter, you’d been more than thrilled when you managed it find it at the little bookshop on the island. Better than having to go to the mainland and suffer through the idiots that worked at the only Barnes & Noble in a 25 mile radius. You’d been making headway too when the book was pulled out of your hands and someone yanked you out of your seat.

“Hey! Give me that back!” You tried to pull away from the person holding you but you couldn’t get loose. As you struggled Scarlett flipped through the first couple of pages in the book, pretending to read it.

“What is this dumb trash anyway? Dreamcatcher?” She laughed.

“Just give it back Scarlett!” You insisted, pulling against her boyfriend once more. Other kooks had gotten wind of what was happening and stopped to watch.

“You shouldn’t bring books anyway…accidents are bound to happen.” She said, grabbing a few pages in her hands and ripping them out, watching as they fell to the ground.

“Stop! Seriously, please stop.” You nearly cried as she continued to rip pieces of the book out.

A small break in the crowd had JJ pushing through with his friends to see what the commotion was. If he was being honest he didn’t know you very well despite working for your dad all summer. He had seen you around and you’d always been polite to him but never quite friendly. Kiara had told him you were shy though, and that you hated stuff like parties or crowds. This was torture already but now you were standing at the poolside, Scarlett’s boyfriend holding your arms so you couldn’t get away as Scarlett tossed the book into the pool.

“No! Fuck, are you kidding me!” You yanked against Scarlett’s boyfriend and he laughed.

“You wanna go in too?” He taunted, “go get it.” And he shoved you forward, both of them laughing as you tripped and fell into the pool.

JJ ran over without thinking, pulling off his shirt and jumping in the water. He grabbed your waist, helping you to the side of the pool as you sputtered out breaths, too upset by the whole ordeal that you hadn’t been able to focus on actually swimming. Kiara and John B helped you out of the pool while Sarah grabbed a towel for you, wrapping it around your shoulders as you sat on the edge with your legs still in the water.

Despite the warmth of the summer night you were shaking from the sudden chill that came from being wet. JJ pulled himself up on the concrete beside you, pulling his boots off and tossing them behind him before placing a hand on your back, rubbing up and down.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, kneeling down beside you.

You nodded, “I’ll be fine. Thanks, but I should go.”

As you started to stand up JJ stood too, grabbing his t-shirt and boots, casting one last look at the unsalvageable book Scarlett had tossed into the pool. “Let me walk you back?”

“You don’t have to, you should stay and enjoy the party.”

“I don’t want you walking home alone. It’s already pretty late.” He reasoned. It was already dark and your house was three blocks away. Not a bad walk but you were still soaked from the pool and wouldn’t hate the company, even if you did get tongue tied whenever JJ was around.

“Okay.”

You kept the towel around your shoulders as JJ led you away from the party, Scarlett shouting after you about your taste in pogues and Sarah telling her off. You were too in your head to say much even as you got away from the party and the blaring music and the crowded rooms. Walking through the streets with JJ, both of you barefoot and carrying your shoes. Soaked still from the pool, he had his shirt draped over one shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?” JJ asked, glanced over at you.

“You having to dive in and get me out of the pool and walk me home. I ruined your night.”

He shrugged, “not really a fan of kook parties anyway, Sarah wanted to go so…”

You watched as he pulled a tin out of his pocket, rattling it for a moment before opening it up and smiling, holding it so you could see the blunts rolled up in colourful paper, a lighter and juul wedged in next to them. “Are they dry?”

“Yeah, this thing is waterproof. Bought it last year cause I always forget to empty my pockets when I surf.”

“Well I’m sure all the fish are happy. Probably trippin’ out.”

JJ laughed at the joke as he picked out a blunt and lit it up, “you want some?”

“No, I don’t smoke.”

“Do you care if I do?”

You shook your head. You were almost home anyway, then he could leave. Or were you supposed to ask him to stick around? Offer him some clothes from your dad and dry his wet shorts since he’d been nice enough to dive into the pool after you.

“So…you and Scarlett aren’t exactly friends huh?”

“I’m not exactly friends with a lot of people, Scarlett is just one of many.” You replied. “I was only there tonight cause my dad made me go…he says I need to socialise more.”

“You don’t really go out much.”

“I obviously have a good reason.” You said, looking down at your wet clothes.

“Not everyone’s like Scarlett.” He replied, blowing out smoke as he talked. “We’re going on the boat tomorrow, you should come.”

“Maybe.”

“I’d like it if you did.” He admitted, shrugging his shoulders in attempted indifference.

“Okay, but I’ll think I’ll stick to not swimming, if it’s all the same to you.”

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write-orflight · 4 years

Text

Like Real People Do. Epilogue

*Gif not mine*

Masterlist

Rating: M

Words: 2.4K

Warnings: none :)

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

A.N Well, we’re here at the end. Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting. Follow for more and send any request! much love, Cia

Epilogue: Like Real People do.

The lace of your dress is itchy.

You had gone dress shopping with the girls and you had tried a bunch on before settling on the one you chose. It was a long sleeved chiffon dress with a slim bodice that flared into a puffy skirt stopping just above your ankle. It had small floral details along the top and the sleeves. At the time, it had been perfect. You had felt beautiful, and you cried thinking about seeing Spencer for the first time down the aisle in it. But right now it itches.

Why did it itch?

It wasn’t that you were getting cold feet. You wanted nothing more than to be Dr. Y/n Reid but for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to move when it was time. You were standing looking out the window when Hotch came to find you.

“Y/n, are you ready? Everyone’s waiting.” He says, before pausing. “You look beautiful, why are you upset?”

You didn’t even notice the tears falling. You quickly try to quell them to not ruin your makeup you just had done. “I just--when I pictured my wedding. I didn’t think my parents would be gone and that I’d have to walk alone. And thinking of everyone’s eyes on me is freaking me out.” You sniffle a bit, eyes going wide when the idea comes to you. “Will you walk with me?” You ask.

“You want me to walk you down the aisle?” Hotch asks, shocked. You immediately back track.

“You don’t have to—I should’ve asked before. I just didn’t want to go alone—“

“Y/n…” he says, looking at you sincerely. “Nothing would make me happier than to give you away, if that’s what you want.” You look at him, seeing he is also misty-eyed. You nod, pulling him into a tight hug.

————————————

You and Spencer are married November 10th. After months of arguing over the date of your wedding. Him wanting a fall wedding and you wanting a winter one, November felt like the perfect compromise. In the end, he was right just like he always was with your wedding being held in a forested area near the Potomac. The tall trees with the red, orange and brown leaves falling, the view of the lake and the yellow string lights you had around the ceremony. It was breathtaking. Fall had definitely been the way to go. You also argued about writing your own vows. You didn’t want to and he did. In the end he was right again. His vows to you were beautiful, he talked about how some believed soulmates were 500 years in the making and able to transcend lifetimes. And that while he was a man of science, upon meeting you had been the first time he actually believed that. And that he was excited to spend this lifetime with you just as much as he was excited for the next. You tried to hold the tears that were falling involuntarily as the minister announced it was time for your vows.

“Um, I don’t quite know how to follow that.” You chuckle nervously, inducing a laugh from the people at your ceremony. “My father used to tell me every time I was upset that ‘a lot of rotten luck means good luck was on the way’. For most of my life, I didn’t believe him. I didn’t believe in luck, just in circumstance and that I was a victim of just really bad circumstance.” You say, you gripping Spencer’s hand tighter. His hand reaches up to wipe at a stray tear that falls from your face. It’s in that moment you remember one of the biggest reasons you loved Spencer. He was always ready to comfort you, whether you needed it or not. The action just makes more tears fall. “It wasn’t until I met you that I believed in luck. Meeting you has been the single most luckiest thing to ever happen to me and I plan on spending everyday treating you like I am the luckiest woman alive because when I’m with you, I am.” You tear up, Spencer hands move to wipe your tears again only this time you lean in to kiss him which he happily obliges.

“Save it til the end guys!” You hear Derek call over the crowd, which induces a chuckle from everyone including the two of you.

——————————

You still worked well together. Better than ever actually. The first couple of weeks were awkward as someone would call for Dr. Reid and you both would turn. Spencer would always look at you, eyes shining with admiration every time it happened but after a while, everyone knew to say your first names when they needed your attention.

You meet Spencer’s dad about 6 months after you’re married. A case takes you back to Las Vegas and unfortunately to his offices as one of the victims recently hired him for a case. Spencer absolutely refused to go talk to him, you tried to convince him to but in the end, you understood why he couldn’t. Which was why, you and Derek walked into his office that day. Derek reaches to shake his hand.

“Walter, I don’t know if you remember me from before but I’m SSA Derek Morgan and this is my associate,Dr. Y/n Reid.”

He then let’s go of Derek before turning his smile and hand towards you. “Reid, huh?” He says. “What’re the chances?”

“Slim, actually. I’m married to your son.” You say shaking his hand. He looks at you in shock as does Derek. You had told him you weren’t going to say anything but upon meeting him you decided you didn’t want to beat around the bush.

“Spencer?” He says, confused. You nod before getting into the actual nature of your visit. As Derek goes through the questions you had for him, you feel his eyes not leaving you. Once you’re done, the two of you thank him for his time before starting to leave. He calls out to you, you nod to Derek to wait for you outside.

The man looks at you, confused. “Sorry I’m trying to wrap my head around this. You’re married to Spencer?” You nod. “How long?” He asked.

“We’ve been married for 6 months and together about 2 years now.” You say, the man looks at you sullen. “I told him we should at least invite you but at the end of the day it was his decision to make and I respect him for it.”

“And is he doing okay?” He asked, “Spencer?”

“We’re taking care of each other.” You say. “But if you want to know about him, you have to reach out yourself. I lost both of my parents so family is really important to me. I don’t want either of you to miss out on more but at the end of the day it’s his decision to reconnect or not. And I’ll respect and support whatever he decides. Thanks for your help, Walter.” You say before leaving.

----------------------------------------------

About 8 months into your marriage is when you meet Abigail Reyes.

She’s a 5 year old whose parents hid her in a closet while the unsub murdered her family. Hotch warned you before the case not to get too attached and you tried, you really did but when she looked at you with those giant almond colored eyes, you couldn’t help yourself. You conducted all her interviews and watched her down at the station, drawing with her, you couldn’t help the tug at your heartstrings. Here was a kid who went through the same exact thing you had yet still had the capability to smile brightly at you.

That night as you and Spencer settled into the hotel bed, you asked him.

“Does she have someone?” Spencer looks at you, confused.

“Who, Doll?”

“Abigail. The vic’s daughter. Does she have someone or will she go into the system?” You say before rattling off quickly. “Because I know we haven’t talked much about kids but I know we both want them and maybe adopting isn’t what you had in mind but--”

His arms are hugging you instantly. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. Her grandparents live in North Carolina and are probably already on their way for her.”

“Oh.” You say, trying not to sound disappointed. She was still going to a loving home even if it wasn’t yours.

“Do you want children?” He asks you, you shrug, silently. “Then whenever you’re ready, I am also ready. I can’t think of something I’d want more than a family with you.” He kisses your temple before rolling over to sleep.

You don’t remember when exactly but you turn off your reminder for birth control.

--------------------------------------------------------

You’re about 10 months into your marriage when you start to feel sick.

You’re sitting in Penelope’s bat cave drinking coffee and talking about the latest Doctor Who episode when the sudden wave of nausea. You were going to barf right now. You looked around for something before grabbing the nearest trash can. Garcia watches in shock as you lose your lunch.

“Are you ok? You’ve been sick a lot.” She says, concerned.

“Yea, I’m fine. This bug going around has been kicking my butt.”

“No one else’s lasted as long though.” She points out laughing. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were pregnant.” She laughed. You looked up shocked. What was the date? You think to yourself.

September 14th.

You were late.

“Shit!” You say out loud. Garcia looks at you shocked.

“Oh my god! Are you--?”

“I have to take a test. Please don’t tell the others, especially Spen. i just-- I need to find out first.”

“You told me I wouldn’t have to keep any more secrets for you.”Garcia pouts.

“I know! Just one tiny one though until I can get in with my doctor?”

“Fine!” She exclaims. “You so owe me.” She says.

“I know. And If I am Garcie, You’re godmother, I promise.” You say, bolting out her office, smiling.

Garcia ended up right though. She always was.

------------------------------------------

You’ve decided pregnancy sucks but Spencer made it a bit better.

Spencer was, of course, over the moon when you told him. Immediately pulling you into a tight hug and spinning you. The two of you cried for at least a couple hours at the thought of your growing family.

As soon as you found out, you went to Hotch handing him the letter of resignation you drafted earlier yesterday night. He looked at it shocked before looking at you sadly. “Why, Y/N? I thought this was what you wanted?”

“I’m pregnant.” You say, Hotch’s sad expression immediately turns soft and happy. He pulls you into a tight hug. “I love this job but I saw what it did to my parents and I can’t do that to my family. Someone’s gotta take one for the team and since Spencer is such an asset, I think it’s me. I’ve already accepted a job to teach Criminal Psychology at Georgetown. Don’t try and stop me.”You say, Hotch immediately nods in understanding, putting his arms around you again.

“You’re going to be a fantastic mother.” He says. You can’t help the heavy sobs that rack through you.

———————————————

Autumn Alice Reid or as the team has started affectionately calling her, Double A, is born June 25th, despite her namesake.

You and Spencer had been sitting in the house you had purchased months ago in preparation for your daughter, playing chess when it happened. It was his move when you said.

“Spen, we have to go to the hospital. My water broke.”

“Y/N, I’m not falling for that again you say it every single time you’re losing.”

“I know, but this time I’m serious.” You stood up to reveal your extremely drenched pants and Spencer's eyes widened in shock.

“We’re having a baby!” He said, excitedly standing to hug you.

“We are. Now we should leave because I’d prefer to do it in a hospital.”

Childbirth is just as heinous and terrible as people say it was but the end result made it so much more worth it. Autumn laid sleeping in your arms now, her little fist grasping Spencer’s pinky. You never in your life thought it was possible to love something so fiercely, so instantly. But here she was, your own personal cryptid.

The team, of course, came in almost the instant the nurses let them. Everyone passes her around Godparents, Derek and Penelope, going first.

“She’s going to be such a little genius, isn’t she?” Penelope says, holding her little hand while Derek cradles her in his arms.

“Yea, and she’s going to ride that all the way to Cal-tech, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Spencer says, grabbing her from Derek.

“Or most likely Stanford.” You pipe up, from your hospital bed. Spencer narrows his eyes at you and you narrow right back at him. That was an argument for another day.

———————————

You woke up to an empty bed. Which isn’t uncommon, Spencer almost always was the one who tended to your daughter when she woke crying. You told him that you should switch off every once and a while but he would always dead that idea, saying you needed your sleep. He always put you before himself.

You padded along the cold, hardwood floors until you were at the open door of the nursery. The sight before you made you wish you also had eidetic memory, Spencer cradling your sleeping child in one hand, reading softly to her from the book in his other hand. As you moved closer to him, you could make out what the book was.

“Spen, we have children’s books. You don’t have to read her Tale of Two Cities.” You whisper, smiling softly at him.

“I know, but she doesn’t seem to like those. Tale of Two Cities seems to put her to sleep faster.”

“Well, Tale of Two Cities puts me to sleep too, so I get it.” You chuckle softly at the narrowed eyes Spencer gives you, before you sit on the ground next to the chair he’s sitting in with your daughter. “Read it to me too?” You ask, laying your head on his thigh.

He nods, smiling softly at the two of you.

“It was the best of times, It was the worst of times....” He starts, you drift off almost immediately.

Finally at peace in life.

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