#seokjin angst

[cravetive]

𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝙸𝚃 𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚂

☾ ⋆*･ Pairings: Meteorologist! Jin x Fem!reader

☾ ⋆*･ Synopsis: after many failed relationships you find yourself struggling to open up to new connections but once you overhear that your timid colleague Seokjin has a crush on you, you set out to play a game of temptation where somewhere in the process, you come face to face with the sudden realization that the weather is not the only unpredictable thing.

☾ ⋆*･ Warnings: SMUT! workplace/office au, Jin is quiet and innocent until he's not, fingering, oral sex! ( M! receiving ), dirty talk, creampie ( hehe) , teasing, unprotected sex, hair pulling, hardcore, a bit angsty ( im an angst slut leave me alone ) , foreplay , slight dom/sub dynamics, kissing, biting/marking, we will pray Y/n gets her life together.

☾ ⋆*･ Authors note: I wish I could tell you what I've done but this is what my brain produces when I'm on 5 hours of sleep.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ Word count: 10 K ( for what reason?)

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Ever since you were conscious you would often find yourself lost in the sky - entrained on the sun, the moon, and the stars but most importantly on the weather. Even before you could walk You wondered what caused thunders to ripple through the clouds, worried over the sun that disappeared during rainfall. You were fixated, overly obsessed and it is what had led you to become a research meteorologist and whilst some found the profession to be boring and fruitless (your parents), there was nothing in the world that you loved most then to predict cloudy skies and cold nights. Being able to observe, understand, and therefore explain the earth's atmospheric phenomenons offers you a sense of gratification.

On the other hand you couldn’t say you ran with the same luck when it came to love and relationships, your long list of exes and failed talking stages were enough scientific evidence to prove that. Things just never ended well between you and whoever fate decided to send your way. you could never decipher if it was due to the lack of communication, lack of interest, or a little bit of both that prevented you from harvesting anything solid with those you fell in love with but it always left you high and dry. It wasn’t like you were a hopeless romantic either, yet the instincts you had when it came to forecasting sunny skies were just not there when it came to romance.

To put it bluntly, your relationships just didn’t last and it had brought you to a point where you questioned all your romantic interactions.

How long will this one last? How long until this one ends? Will we see each other in public and turn the other way?

It's why you struggled to get your feelings across most times, it's why you found it almost impossible to tell that certain person who sat across from you at work how he made you feel.

The timid and reserved Junior meteorologist didn’t catch your attention at first, always keeping to himself and rarely participating in any after work activities with your co-workers, which had made it almost impossible for you to even notice him. that was until 3 weeks ago during a mandatory work dinner. Whilst on a small bathroom break you had unintentionally walked into a game of truth and dare between your colleagues where by perhaps fate you had eavesdropped on the confession of that very same drunken man.

You had opted to feign ignorance, slipping back into the table as if nothing had happened all whilst deciding to commence a cruel game against the meek man. You would find yourself teasing him, subtly flirting until his cheeks turned red and his words turned into stutters. At first it was a childish fun ruse but as time progressed you found yourself looking in his direction more often, entranced by his smile and quiet charisma.

You were doomed and yet, it didn’t stop you from taunting him. small winks and little comments of how good he looked in his baseball caps and soft sweaters, causing him to often jolt as a response. It was harmless until it wasn’t, until you started imagining him between your legs, his large and skillful hands wrapped around your neck.

“for fucks sake” Daiyu, your best friend and colleague huffed as she ran towards the entrance, her freshly styled copper hair drenched with rain that poured from the sunny sky. You giggled, closing your umbrella and entering the building, your heels squeaking against the marbled floors. Daiyu followed after you, a trail of curses falling from her mouth whilst her hands frantically wiped at her wet clothes.

“I always tell you to carry an umbrella and you never listen” you sighed.

“It was a 30% chance!” she exclaimed, reaching to frantically press on the elevator button.

“I should sue you guys” Daiyu groaned.

You looked back at her, taking in her flustered and soaked appearance, deciding not to pass further judgment. Daiyu was as stubborn as a bull and anything that you chose to say would just  go  through one ear and out the other anyways. you reached into your purse and grabbed a napkin, extending it out for her to take. She snatched it urgently and dabbed on her face, emitting a groan of frustration at the inconvenience the sky had caused her.

“It was so sunny and warm outside” she complained, which caused you to laugh loudly, both of you stepping into the elevator as the doors slid open.

“Looks can be deceiving Daiyu” you noted, watching as the doors closed in front of you.

Daiyu smirked, disregarding your statement and focusing on the current situation you were in. her mind going back to the late-night conversation you both had shared 2 days ago over wine and expensive cheese. She leaned over closer to you, her eyebrows teasingly raising while you shared a bewildered expression on your face.

“what?” you asked, concerned with her inquisitive glances.

“I guess the same thing can be said about Jin,” Daiyu winked, a hint of excitement in her tone. She goaded you to speak on the subject, but you rolled your eyes in response.

“I bet he is a real beast in the sheets” Daiyu raised her eyebrows.

“Daiyu please, this is not the time or place to have this conversation” you scolded - eyes fixed on the numbers that flashed on the small screen above the elevator panel. 

“I guess you are deceiving - look at you all serious now like you aren't torturing that poor man.”

“Daiyu” your eyes widened and she was lucky you were both alone in the elevator - out of hearing range of any nosy employee’s. 

“I didn’t share that with you so that you can hold it over my head” you snapped, making a quick escape as soon as the elevator doors opened.

“oh come on!” she shouted after you, the sound of her heels echoing inside the office as she chased after you, her arm interlinking with yours when she caught up. you didn’t intend to avoid the topic, in fact you found it relieving to be able to speak to someone freely about it but what Daiyu was trying to indicate with her previous statements were by far completely illogical. 

Jin was but a shy and reserved guy, not the kind that tried to deceive by putting on appearances. 

How else was he able to contain himself by your constant teasing and flirting, if he wasn’t.

“we will talk about this later” you declared, giving her a soft shove towards her desk. Daiyu pouted, providing you a saddened glance whilst reluctantly dragging herself to her desk where she threw herself into her chair in rather dramatic defeat. You giggled at the scene she produced and walked across the room, reaching your own desk.

Seokjin was already there, too focused on the screen in front of him to notice your arrival. You took this time to take in his appearance. the sweater he wore accentuating his biceps and broad shoulders, the pair of glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose causing a pulsation between your thighs - lured by the image of him crawling over you with them on. You cleared your throat quickly, grabbing his attention and interrupting your perverted train of thought.

He glanced up at you, cheeks already turning pink as he took in your presence.

“Good Morning Mr. Kim” you whispered, offering him a smug smile whilst sliding into your chair. It took a moment for him to respond, his eyes briefly falling on the low v neck blouse you decided to wear today (one of your many little tricks of course). His lips parted, a gulp traveling down his throat. He quickly removed his eyes from your accentuated breasts, dragging his attention back to his screen.

“G-good Morning” he stumbled on the phrase, his tone quiet and faint.

you smiled out of satisfaction, unable to suppress the butterflies in your stomach that only he managed to make flutter. Seokjin is sexy in the most subtle ways; he doesn’t even try and yet he could make you squirm in your seat like a schoolgirl. His full lips, his deep intense eyes, and dorky smile kindled a pressure in your lower abdomen that you often tried to conceal by crossing your legs. 

“I like that color on you, you look good” you complimented, offering Jin a small smirk.

Jin glanced down at his sweater, his hands smoothing out the cashmere deep blue material. He had liked the color, had even thought it was a nice sweater when he first picked it out at the store but having its tincture complimented by you now, gave it a new feeling - it felt softer against his skin.

“thank you” he almost muttered.

You nodded happily, bringing your hair into a ponytail as you always did when beginning the day. Jin’s eyes hesitantly trailed your exposed neck, carving out the smoothness of your skin and studying each detail of the necklace that hung there - soon halting at the sight of your lips, a breath hitching in his throat. 

“You like what you see, Mr. Kim?” you asked, your eyes sparking with the realization of his discreet stare.

Jin sat up,your voice startling him out of his daze - his eyes now looking in every direction but yours.

“cause you can see more if you want, you just have to ask” your voice was a mere whisper and Jin could feel every hair in his body stand up from your tone alone. There was a long silence, your eyes intensively studying his composure. He moved his attention back on his computer screen, deciding it would be best to ignore the comment that made his heart run laps inside his chest all together.

“Hey Jin” you called, his eyes quickly moving back to you with hesitation.

“I'm only joking” you lied.

You would've allowed him to see your entire soul if he had just asked.

The day had turned sour rather quickly, the entire office thrown into a frenzy by the threat of an incoming spring storm and it had left you running in circles all throughout the building, your heels beginning to jab into your feet painfully- leaving your soles red and sore. You groaned, stepping into the cafeteria for the first time in the day, finally allowing yourself a small break amidst the hysteria. You needed coffee and you needed it fast. Your heavy eyes scanned the cabinet in search for your favorite mug - propping yourself on your toes for a better view. 

“Where the hell did I put you?” you muttered under your breath, your hands pushing away various mugs in an attempt to find the deep emerald one you always used. Your shoulders ached, weighed down by the tumultuous day and your eyes burned, the result of staring at your computer screen for 4 hours straight. Not finding your mug would be the last straw, the drop of water that would make you spill over. You groaned loudly and leaned against the counter, your hand flying to cover your face in frustration while you balanced from one foot to the other, trying to ease the ache shooting up your legs.

“Are you looking for this?” a quiet and familiar voice asked.

You raised your head slowly, capturing a view of the man standing in front of you, your mug held comfortably in his hand. Exhaustion creeped through your body, leading you to bubble with irrational anger but as you prepared to berate the individual who had seized your precious mug, you took a moment to study their fingers, soon realizing they were the hands you melted over ever so often, concluding who the culprit behind the theft was.

Jin offered you a concerned glance, his profound sepia eyes blinking slowly as if expecting a response. You remained silent, losing yourself in his stare. the ache on your limbs suddenly evaporating for those short seconds, a wave of serenity settling deep inside of you. you shook your head slowly, unable to break eye contact as he made time stop around you.

All urgency to resume your pending tasks halted whilst you stood in front of him - The buzzling in the office growing quiet as your eyes slowly traced his features.

“I can wash it out if you want, I’m done anyways” Jin offered, a small smile forming on his face.

Your attention crawled to his mouth, inspecting his plump and soft lips, lips you wanted to press yours against, lips that were smeared with the cold foam of his coffee, foam you imagined on other parts of his body for you to lick.

“n-no, it's okay” this time it was you who stuttered; it was you who grew flustered.

The room fell silent as you remained stunned by his intense stare, your mind flowing with ideas that were neither appropriate nor sane. You were in deep shit, and you knew it, your heart pressed against your chest begging to jump into the hands of the man standing before you whilst your mind yelled that he was like everyone else, like every guy you had ever met. The one with the soft eyes and quick lies.

“You uh have something” you gestured to his mouth, making him aware of the leftover foam on his lips.

He lowered his head in embarrassment, his hand quickly flying to wipe away at his face. his eyes trailed away from yours, causing you to inhale sharply.

“Did I get it?” he asked, turning back to you. His cheeks still flushed with shame.

You inspected his lips once again, taking in their smoothness and soft pink color, pictured them gracing your skin softly - leaving their imprint on your skin.

“Here I’ll-” you offered, reaching forward and closing the gap between you both. you leisurely wiped away at the top of his lip with your thumb, removing all the residual foam left there. His lips were warm under your touch, your breaths growing short and unruly due to the sensation.

You could feel his stare fixed on you as you aided him, your cheeks becoming rogue at the sudden intimacy of the situation. Jin’s mouth parted as if he had wanted to say something but even if he had you doubted you would have been able to hear him over the hammering of your heart. The euphoric feeling dazed you out of all self restraint - luring you to act upon your intrusive thoughts .

you found yourself losing yourself in the sea of brown that were his eyes again, knowing you could drown and subsequently, dipped your foam covered thumb into your mouth without a second thought.

You collected the sugar that had once rested on his lips on your tongue and allowed it to rest there. A pleasure filled hum echoing from within your chest - your eyes fluttering shut at the satisfaction the fulfillment of your craving caused. You remained stuck there, your brain unable to generate anything but utter bliss. 

“hey! Is there any creamer lef…”

The voice of the intern entering the cafeteria was like cracking thunder, your body jerking as a life vest was being thrown at you, aiding you from going under. Your eyes shot open in realization, body tensing at the action you had just mindlessly committed but Jin didn’t appear to be as startled as you, his eyes firmly held on your lips. It felt like your whole body was on fire and it was only then when you noted the damp fabric of your panties pressed against your clit. 

Both you and Jin turned your heads quickly, eyes landing on the intern who stood shocked by the door, his mouth held ajar. You blinked quickly; your brain unable to register what had just taken place. it was as if everything inside you had been electrocuted and you couldn’t even find the strength to defend yourself against the silent accusation the interns eyes made.

You dreadfully took a step back from Jin, lowering your gaze once he looked back at you - you cleared your throat quickly before stumbling out of the shared space. The sound of your heels leaving echoes inside of Jin’s head.

You had deduced 2 things from that brief encounter. The first being you and Jin were beyond screwed - interns liked to talk, liked to share and gossip didn't take long to spread within the office and secondly, that being alone in a room with Jin was dangerous, far more than you had anticipated.

“Yup, it's been sent to the group chat” Daiyu nodded, pushing a spoon full of yogurt into her mouth.

You sighed, covering your face in agony.

As expected the details of your little encounter with Jin had been shared all throughout the office with the intern taking quite the creative liberty of disclosing details you were sure never happened. You groaned loudly, pushing your food away. 

“Oh god” you whispered, “we work together, you know I can lose my job right?” you stared at her, wide eyed but your friend didn’t join your panic, instead a small giggle escaped her lips and your eyebrows intertwined in confusion.

“Do you find this funny?” you yelled, throwing a balled-up napkin at her head.

“Hey! Let’s use our words” she laughed, causing you to throw your head back in defeat.

“What did you think was going to happen Y/n? Jin is a man and you are a woman - i'm surprised you haven't humped in the janitors closet yet” she mused. 

You pressed your hands against your temples, trying to stop yourself from imagining the both of you doing the mentioned act. 

“Relax, it’s not that bad” she responded, “besides their just rumors, okay?” you knew she was trying to calm you, trying to bring you back from the trepidation you had been succumbing to during the last few days but her words didn’t offer any relief, anxiety running through your entire body quickly and mercilessly.

“you know I almost believed it but then he added that Jin had his hands wrapped around your waist and I had to debunk it” Daiyu shared, swallowing the yogurt in her mouth “cause we both know that boy would simply combust if he even graced his finger tips against your skin.”

You shot bullets in her direction, how was she able to make a joke out of all of this when you were literally falling apart? your job on the line, your reputation. Everything you had worked so hard to get and maintain all down the gutter for a man and Yet, there wasn’t even a hint of regret in your thoughts, in fact the only reason why you were so stressed out in the first place was for the simple fact that you were caught,caught doing something so frivolous and yet the whole office was in an uproar about it.

If you knew you would be at the brink of getting fired over lingering stares and kinship, you would’ve at least given yourself the liberty of kissing him.

“Hey, you are in your head again” Daiyu yelled, snapping her fingers in your face. you blinked in her direction and sighed, turning away once again.

“Can this get any worse?” you complained.

“I think it just might,” Daiyu winced.

You glanced back at her and turned your head in the direction of her widened eyes. The director had stepped into the cafeteria, and he was walking straight to you. you felt your body tremble, your brain preparing for the worst. You quickly stood up, your entire nervous system beginning to shut down.

“Ms. Y/n” he greeted, you stood completely still, unable to bring any air into your lungs as your knees threatened to collapse.

“Mr. Han,” your voice trembled.

Daiyu stood up quickly, putting down her yogurt and offering your boss a 90 degree bow before standing up straight, giving you a panicked glance.

“Ms. Y/n do you have a moment? I would like to go over some things in my office” your heart dropped, your palms clammy. You soon became very aware of every vein in your body, pulsating strongly against your skin.

your throat went dry, sandpaper rubbing against the other as you tried to form a coherent response.

“I uh I – yeah”

He turned quickly without another word, his steps firm and demanding, you followed behind him like a lost puppy, glancing back at Daiyu; your eyes brimmed with tears. she attempted to give you a smile through her concerned expression but even her movements faltered when she offered you a thumbs up. You were screwed, you had gone too far in your little game and now you were facing the consequences.

The walk back to Mr. Han’s office felt eternal, passing coworkers who stared and mumbled amongst each other. You were dragging your feet at this point, your heart plummeting into despair the closer you got to his office. In retrospect you didn’t feel contrition towards the event that had taken place, one does not lament over things they enjoyed but now was not the time for you to ponder on the things you did or didn't regret.

one word from your boss and you would be sent packing with all of your hopes and dreams.

You entered his office quietly, brain swarmed with negative thoughts - predicting the words that would soon empty from his mouth.

‘YOU’RE FIRED’ 

The unspoken yet inevitable words rang inside your ears - tears swelling in your eyes out of mere anticipation. 

You let out a long breath, hoping that for a second it could appease your mind but it was no use, you were a nervous wreck and it was evident by the way your boss stared at you whilst he sat behind his desk. You decided to solve math problems in your head, a method that most times distracted you from distressing situations but as you began to find the answer to your first algebra problem you felt a presence next to you and when you glanced over, your legs buckled.

“please take a seat guys” your boss requested.

You tried to move your limbs, but your feet were stuck to the ground, eyes fixed on Jin whilst he avoided your gaze and pushed out his chair taking a seat as instructed. He didn't greet you as he tended to do nor did he give you one of his famous small introverted smiles you often looked forward to. It was as if you weren’t even there but you were and it was as if he couldn’t care less. 

Ouch…

he was tense, you could see it and It was all your fault. you were fucked, royally fucked. Your shaky hands reached for your own chair, hesitantly slipping next to him.

“I can assume you know why I’ve asked the both of you here” Mr. Han began, your stomach somersaulting painfully. You glanced over at Jin who remained silent, not a speck of anxiousness in his demeanor. Why was he so relaxed? Had he just accepted his fate? Your face contorted with conflict and then turned to face your boss, a long weighed sigh leaving your body.

“I want to apologize, I know that it wasn’t ethical and I assume full responsibility-“ you began rambling, your mouth going painfully dry. your boss stared back at you like you had 3 heads and your voice faded into thin air, further apprehension spreading inside of you.

“Y/n, I can attest you are really good at your job but why are you apologizing for the weather?” Mr. Han chuckled. you blinked slowly, unable to understand his words.

“huh?”

“look, we might be facing a storm soon and I want to send a group of you over to our headquarters in Yeosu, they will be hit the hardest and in all honesty they need all the help they can get”

Relief and embarrassment flow through you as his intentions are made clear. you let out a small nervous giggle struggling with the intrusive desire to slap yourself across the face.

“I can go on my own,” Jin interrupted, and you quickly turned to him. his face cold and expressionless, your stomach dropping once again and all those bad feelings that had previously  swallowed you, began eating at you all over again.

“I'm sure Ms. Y/n  here has a lot of work on her plate and I'm sure I can do most of the work myself.”

His words were rational, made sense even but you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking this was just the aftermath of the rumors that had been spreading. You understood him, being spoken about and stared at when most times all he wanted to do was go about undetected must’ve been uncomfortable, albeit it made your insides twist.

“oh i'm sure you are more than capable but there will be a lot to cover and I just don’t think you’ll be able to manage.”

“Then give me a team, Ms. Y/n can stay here with the others - I'm sure we will need coverage here too” Jin insisted. you couldn’t bring yourself to protest. It was probably the best idea. You didn’t want any more rumors to spread about the two of you, not when it made Jin treat you like this. The game was over - no longer did you find amusement in your actions, instead you started to regret toying with him in the first place. it was immature on your part and you wanted nothing more than to apologize for your childish ways.

“I can understand your consideration of Ms. Y/n but it wasn’t a request” Mr. Han stated, causing chills to go down your spine.

“the train tickets have been purchased, you will be departing tomorrow morning” your boss concluded.

Jin stood up first, walking out of the room without another word. You followed behind quickly, your head spinning in circles as you tried catching up to him. 

“Jin” you called, but he kept his pace - not bothering to look back at you.

“Jin” you repeated, your voice much louder this time. 

His steps slowed, a sigh falling from his lips before he turned to look at you - you couldn't make out the stare he held once his eyes met with yours but it made you feel like shit. This entire ordeal was making you question the kind of person you were and for the first time since you had begun playing mind games with the man, you had realized how fucked this entire thing was. 

“How can i help you Ms. Y/n” his tone had always been reserved but this time it was different - you could feel the chill from a mile away. 

“I just wanted to say I'm sorry” you breathed. 

“Okay” he answered. 

“Okay?” you questioned, taken aback by his response. 

“Okay” Jin reaffirmed before he spun around and left you standing alone and confused in the empty hallway. 

The train ride had been 3 long painful hours and even though all your colleagues had slept peacefully, including Daiyu who snored into your ear the entire trip you hadn’t been able to stop thinking of Jin. He avoided you like the plague the entire way to Yeosu. Putting on his headphones when it was only the two of you awake, making sure he was the first to exit the train once it arrived, and when you entered the shared home you and your colleagues would be staying in for the longevity of the trip, he intentionally chose the room furthest away from yours.

You decided to just let the situation be, there wasn’t anything you could do now and besides, it didn’t appear like he even wanted an apology. Maybe, seeking him out would only make things worse.

“Have you talked to him?” Daiyu asked, setting up a small satellite on the ground to assist the tracking of the storm.

“no” you muttered, writing down notes in your notepad “and quite frankly I don’t intend to Daiyu.”

“oh come on, we will be here for 2 more days and you guys are just gonna what? Pretend the other is not there? It's making me and everyone else uncomfortable” she complained.

“And what other options do I have? I tried to apologize but he just said okay, like what even is that? okay?!” you huffed with frustration.

“he even stayed in when we said we would go out for drinks” you whisper, the topic alone distracting you from the data you were collecting. The memory caused an ache in your chest, an ache that you didn’t like. It was a faint soreness that had accompanied you many times before, during nights of heartache and rejection, so imperceptible yet debilitating.

“The kid likes you, we know he likes you, you know he likes you, and you like him” Daiyu shrugs “why are you dragging this?” her tone was annoyed but she held a smile on her face.

“it's more complicated than that and you know that” you responded, rolling your eyes.

“ugh whatever keep eye fucking him for all I care” Daiyu groaned.

“Are you all done here? I'll wait in the car” you yelled, taking quick steps away from Daiyu.

“hey! We need to make sure it's stable!” Daiyu yelled out but you ignored her, pretending to be too far to hear her curses.

As predicted the storm had arrived ferociously. Wind ripping through the city, rain pouring harshly - turning the sky opaque. Your dry and pained eyes stared at the computer screen in front of you as you wrote yet another report, racing against mother nature in an attempt to keep up with the current weather. You hadn’t slept in the last 24 hours and the toll it had left was visible. The only thing keeping you awake being the loud crackles of thunder tearing into the sky. 

You had been locked in your room all day and you had no intentions on stepping out.

The rest of the group with the exception of Jin had left to track the storm, giving you hourly updates on the current situation and the damage the storm was leaving in its path. Knowing you were alone with him in the same house left an anxious haze in your system.

You allowed your eyes to flutter shut for a few seconds, giving them some moisture but your mind wandered to another place, drifting deeper into your consciousness - within the darkness of your tightly shut eyes you envisioned Jin’s capable hands. touching, roaming, rubbing. You retracted the image of his mouth, of his tongue. Sliding, licking, pulling. And then there it was, the pooling between your thighs, the pressure under your navel.

Your eyes opened quickly as another thunder rolled through the sky, bright lights seeping through your half-opened blinds, dragging you away from your salacious contemplations.

You needed to clear your mind, to provide your brain another task to focus on before it began to rot. An impulse surged through you, your body rising from the chair it had made a home out of and stepping out into the dark house. What was the worst that could happen? For Jin to ignore you? He was already doing that anyway.

Your steps were soft as you made your way to the kitchen, a cup of chamomile tea sounding delicious at the moment, it would help you fall asleep and above all it would shake away the anxiousness that gripped you. your mouth watered with the idea. 

Aside from the small creaks the foundation of the old home made against the strong wind outside- everything else was completely silent. The gray evening sky offering the only source of light throughout the space.

You reached into the coverts and pulled out a kettle, which you filled with water and set on the stove to boil. Your eyes wandered out the window, concerned with the raging weather that apparently had no intentions on stopping. You were worried for your team, hoping they had found shelter, and you were also worried about running into Jin. all the bravery you had suddenly found in those short seconds when you first decided to leave your room quickly fading away. you blinked slowly, trying to rid yourself of the exhaustion pressing on your body.

 You made mental plans of a warm shower and then finally some rest, if the thunder allowed it.

If your Jin ridened brain would allow it.

There was another crackle in the sky and then the sliding door in the dining room opened and slammed shut, your whole nervous system jolting as a loud scream escaped your mouth. you turned your head to access the damage the wind had probably caused but your made out a figure standing by the door. A drenched, heaving figure. You blinked rapidly, ensuring it wasn’t your imagination and once your brain awakened from its internal slumber you realized that the person standing there, dripping wet from head to toe was Jin.

“Jin?” you exclaimed “are you okay?”

Your feet moved quickly towards him, mind racing with weariness at the sight of him. His presence left a puddle on the floor, his rain slicked black hair stuck to his forehead. He nodded slightly, wanting to avoid further questioning. You reached into the closet nearby and pulled out a clean towel. 

He was shivering, mouth trembling as he stood there in complete silence.

“What were you doing outside? It's dangerous out there” your voice was stern, but you weren’t trying to reprimand him. Jin was a grown man, and you were sure he was aware of the current climate.

“I had forgotten my camera” he simply explained, holding up the canon T7 camera for you to see.

“Gosh, let me help you” you sighed, taking fast steps towards him. your mind was racing with ways you could help him, concerned with his well-being however once you were closer, all those thoughts stopped – paused by the view in front of you. Jin’s black t-shirt was glued to his body, the imprint of his torso visible through the wet material. His face dripped droplets of water as he stared at you with those eyes that you habitually melted over and you weren’t sure if it was due to the rain outside, but his skin appeared to glisten, accentuating the veins that crawled down his forearms and down his hands.

This wasn’t the time to look, to peer like you often did, not a moment to tease but your eyes couldn’t help trail down to his sweats that now due to the weight of the water they had absorbed sat just below his waist, his underwear peeking above them.

You cleared your throat, attempting to remain focused whilst your hands tended to the shivering man in front of you but once the towel touched his skin, his hand came up to grip yours. You looked up at him quickly, your brows knitting with concern. His eyes pierced through you and you recalled the reason why the both of you hadn’t spoken this entire time, remembered the way he had avoided you at all costs.

“don’t do that” his tone was low, a heaviness within it that you had never heard him use before.

“do what?” yours quivered, a crack forming at the last word.

“don’t provoke me,” Jin stated.

The ache returned inside your chest, the one that you hated so much and you felt weak. Your eyes faltered, blinking away from his gaze with a heavy sigh.

“Jin, I want to apologize again, I shouldn’t have-“ you began, unable to recognize the softness in your words - a knot embedding itself in your trachea.

“What are you apologizing for?” his expression was that of confusion and you felt intimidated. The question leaves you disoriented.

“what?” you asked.

“you shouldn’t apologize if you aren’t sorry.”

“but I am” you stood on those words, truly feeling culpable of the situation you had created due to your lack of self control, due to your habit of complicating things but Jin’s words held different meaning which you had missed due to your lack of sleep,or perhaps it was because you couldn’t concentrate on anything else besides the bulge that pressed against his drenched sweats.

 Jin was teasing you.

He stepped closer, his chest now mere inches from yours. His towering build caused you to become very aware of how tall he really was, you didn’t speak another word as the room suddenly shrunk 3 sizes, your breath trapped inside of your rib cages.

“I take pride in the kind of man that I am” he muttered, leaning his face towards yours. “im respectful – a well mannered man” Jin’s eyes trailed down to your lips and he watched them intently as they parted slightly. 

“I am a civil man” he whispered, his hand rising to caress the skin of your cheek softly - erupting goosebumps everywhere inside of you. the shy and concealed man you had come to know had disappeared, leaving no traces of innocence – his stare flickering with lust. His thumb smoothed over your mouth and you could feel your heart rumble within your chest, your body trembling with each outlet of air.

“but you continue to toy with me, you appear in my dreams where I find myself doing the most indecent things to you” the confession made you lean into his touch, the realization of how good his hand felt pressed against your cheek eliminating all hesitation “it makes me question what a gracious man like me can do.”

“Jin” you trembled, body running feverishly warm as you bore into his eyes.

His hand traveled to the back of your head, his fingers intertwining with strands of your hair and he pulled, firmly but yet not hard enough to cause pain – your mouth opened as a whine traveled through your throat but before it could escape; his lips landed on yours.

 his tongue twisting away the small complaint.

It felt like a dream, like it wasn't real and for a second you wanted to pinch yourself – you wanted your alarm to go off so that you could wake up because it felt too real and dreams like these often brought you utter disappointment. Jin ran his hands against your body, his cold touch leaving a tingling sensation in its wake.

You could feel your arousal dripping against your panties, the exhilaration of his mouth and hands on you leaving your mind hazed. Jin’s hand trailed under your tank top, his fingers gracing your stomach as they dragged themselves towards your breast, your small whimpers pouring into his ravenous mouth. His hand went under your bra where his fingers found your nipples, rubbing them lightly. your body leaning into his as a consequence. You both stood so close now and yet, it didn’t feel like enough.

You wanted to melt into him, wanted to feel him everywhere all at once – until you couldn't breath, until you were louder than the storm outside.

Small moans left your lips, urging him to lose all control and you could tell he was reaching his breaking point when his hips jerked forward, his erection pressing against your thigh. You leaned away from his lips, eyes meeting at the sudden action. You tugged at his drenched t-shirt and he allowed you to remove it, lifting his arms up in the air. Your eyes trailed his skin as you exposed it, inch by inch.

He was gorgeous, not a trace of imperfections on his soft pale skin – his shoulders were so broad and you pictured your legs stretched over them, giving him full access to the part that pulsed sorely in-between your thighs.

His hand reached for your hair once again, pulling your head back - his tongue traveling up the valley of your neck. your eyes fluttered shut, mouth releasing short sighs as he bit and nibbled on the tender skin. You felt like your skin was on fire, cheeks burning due to the lack of oxygen his mouth was causing. It was a  high you wanted to be in at all times.

 you had misread Jin entirely. This man was capable of destroying you, the evidence in the way your body trembled under his attention.

His hand slipped from under your shirt, finding the hem of your pajama pants and guiding his hand inside. Your mouth falling completely open once his slender fingers reach your clit, quivering in anticipation. He palmed you through your panties slowly, allowing your wetness to spread across the crutch of your panties.

“mhmm so warm” Jin groaned almost painfully.

He licked his lips as he stared into your eyes, darkness enveloping them the longer his hand remained inside of your pants, you knew you were completely fucked, he had you right where he wanted you.

 a thought arises from within the deepest part of your mind that perhaps, he was the one toying with you all this time. testing how far you would go to bring him to this point.

“Jin” you moaned “I want to uh.”

“What do you want to do?” he asked, arching his brow at your broken request.

You couldn’t concentrate but you were sure of what you wanted, of what you wanted to do to him. you reached forward, your hand finding his rock hard dick - giving it a slow pump. It quivered under your touch, urging you for more. Small groans fell out Jin’s mouth, the hand intertwined with your hair pulling back a bit harder.

Your eyes pleaded out to him -  slowly sinking on your knees. your stare never breaks with Jin. You wanted to look at him while you snatched his soul away, you had imagined this moment so many times and now that it was finally here, presented to you in a silver platter your mouth salivated. You slowly pushed down his sweats and then his boxers, his erection springing out, standing tall in front of you.

Your willing tongue unraveled from your mouth, holding his delicate length in your hand as you slid your tongue up his shaft, spreading your saliva against the pulsing vein there. Your deep breaths cascades over his tip, his cock twitching against your tongue in anticipation. Jin watched  through hooded eyes, unable to blink away from your position under him.

“Ah fuck” he groaned. 

You looked so pretty, so dirty – he could cum from the sight alone.

Your tongue glided towards his tip, your damp muscle collecting all the pre-cum that sat on his slit, the salty taste making your clit pulsate. Your tongue slipped back and forth and then you felt it, his whole body trembling at the pleasure you were drawing out with just your mouth and you let out a moan, one that you couldn’t withhold because god did he look ethereal from this angle.

You eased his head into your mouth, eyes wide open looking up at him – your cheeks hollowing as you began to slowly bob your head, allowing him to catch his breath whilst your tongue glided around his thickness. Hisses streamed out of him, the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around him leading him to throw his head back in pleasure.

Your saliva allowed you to take in more of him – feeling his cock reach the back of your throat, tickling your tonsils. you began moving your head faster, your hand reaching to pump the length that your mouth couldn’t take, the other slipping inside of your pajamas, your fingers rubbing against your folds and dipping inside of your warm walls.

His hand reached down, gripping your hair again and you noticed it was something he liked to do but you didn’t mind – the small pang of discomfort causing moans to vibrate against his dick. Jin’s hips started to move into your willing mouth, drool dripping down your chin as you continued your quick tempo – the sound of his drenched cock dipping in and out of your mouth echoing inside of the dining area along with the sound of your gagging. 

Your eyes burned, tears brimming at the corners but you didn’t dare to look away as he looked down at you, he appeared so sexy whilst in heat, the thought that it was you doing this to him causing your fingers to move quicker inside of you, your arousal gliding down your hands. 

“Y/n” Jin moaned.

You removed your hand from his shaft and took in the rest of him, you could feel your throat begin to burn but you didn’t care – your need to have his entire length in your mouth overpowering even your need for air. Your head bobbed up and down, waiting for him to come undone in your mouth but his hand pulled back on your head, causing his cock to slide out of your mouth with a loud pop.

“That's not where I want to come,” he groaned, his chest rising and falling with each harsh breath he took. 

He glided his thumb against your pulsing red lips, collecting the drool that remained on your chin. You whimpered, your own thumb pressing against your clit - fucking yourself to the sight of him. He carried a dark ardor, a look in his eyes that you had never witnessed before or perhaps never noticed. 

In one swift movement you were off the floor, Jin placed you on the kitchen counter - his tongue once again sliding down the nape of your neck dragging out small moans from your mouth. He was experienced, his mouth and hands knowing where to touch and tug as if he had studied your entire anatomy and you let him, falling into the bliss of all your lust filled dreams. 

His mouth found yours, his lips blending against your own with rapid appetite. His hands traveled to your waist, moving his fingers in between the skin and the hem of your pants and with one pull - he brought down your pajamas and dampened panties. You yelped as the cold air hit your hot clit - begging for his touch. He pulled away from your kiss - bringing his pointer and index finger into his mouth and coating the digits with his saliva - his eyes fixed on yours. 

Your body shivered, as you watched him preparing himself to completely wreck you and not a word of objection leaves your mouth, entranced with how sexy he makes it all look. He’s a professional and you had been too cocky to ever realize that. He pressed his fingers against your throbbing pussy, your hips jerking forward at the sensation. His fingers are long and warm against your cunt and you want nothing more than to have them inside of you. 

“Shhh relax” Jin hummed, rubbing your clit in small slow circles. 

Your breath trembled, mouth falling open as he teased your needy cunt - a smirk forming on his lips. Your touch deprivation didn't go unnoticed to the man standing in front of you. Your back arching into his teasing contact. He leaned forward and left wet kisses on your chest, trails of love bites and saliva as  he reached your breast and then his fingers began to move faster - his mouth taking one of your nipples into his mouth with ease. 

“Jin” you whimpered. He was everywhere all at once and your body shook, he was too much and yet you were capable of taking it all. 

His tongue went flat against your hardened nub, gliding it up and down and then sucking on the nipple softly, your hands tangled themselves in his hair, your legs shaking as he slid one finger into your welcoming cunt and then another, and then another and soon he began pumping them quickly, holding no mercy. 

Your hips matched his tempo and your breast begin to bounce as fucked yourself into his hand. Jin pulled away from your breast - not wanting to miss how much of a slut you had become for him. Your eyes were completely shut - allowing the feeling to take over you completely and you were a wreck but you couldn’t control your hips as they rolled against his appendages. Jin groaned at the sight of you, of your Pretty cunt taking all 3 of his fingers. 

“Look at you, you love this don’t you” he muttered into your ears, his forehead pressed into your cheek as he looked down at his fingers disappearing into your cunt, glistening with your juices - leaving a small puddle on the counter. 

“Is this what you wanted?” he asked but you remained silent, whimpers replacing the answer you wanted to give. 

“Mhm?” Jin urged you, wanting to hear you beg for him. 

“Y-yes” you stuttered. 

“Look who's stuttering now” he mocked and your eyes open, gleaming with lust. 

Jin slowly retracted his fingers from where they had remained, embedded inside of you, the action making you whine in desperation which made Jin smile in response - you were needy, no longer in control and Jin felt his dick quiver at the realization. He looked deep into eyes as he stood in front of you. he raised his hand and spit into his palm proceeding to lather up your already dripping cunt. You could feel his saliva coat your clit, the feeling causing your whole body to tremble. 

He leaned back in for a kiss, slowly pressing you back into the counter until you could only see the ceiling above you. His hands slid up your thighs and with one swift movement he brought your ass to the end of the counter, your legs now placed exactly where you had wanted them to be for so long, where you thought they would look their best, thrown over his shoulders. 

“You look so good like this” he groaned, his eyes scanning your half naked body. 

You could hear the loud whistling of the tea kettle on the stove consume the entire room, creating a symphony with the moans that rattled from your lungs and then Jin sank into you, with so much ease, so smoothly that for the next few seconds you couldn't breath. 

Jin’s hands rubbed along your legs, his hips starting to roll into you with swift and disposed movements. You could feel all of him, the pulsations of his cock as he slowly retracted and then easily slipped back inside. The way the tip of his cock reached your ovaries, your legs quivering out of reflex. 

“Jin” you cried out and you lost it, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he snapped his waist, pounding into you with so much speed that the counter underneath you began to shake, Jin’s hand flied to your tank top, gripping it in his hand -  pulling at the fabric with each thrust that he gave you. 

“Is this what you wanted me to do all this time?” he questioned, bringing his thumb against your clit. 

“Y-yes” you yelped. 

“Fuck Y/n” he moaned breathlessly and the thunder outside was no match for the sound of your greedy wet cunt taking his entire length, your loud yelps and moans masking the natural disaster taking place. 

Your ass bounced against his thighs each time he slammed into you and he was frantic, your warm walls smothering his aching cock as he plunged into you with so much need and desire you could feel your clit swell around him. As you peered down at him there wasn’t a trace left of the shy boy you once knew. His eyes darkened, glazed over as he stared at his dick stretching out your walls. His teeth biting down onto his lip harshly in a foolish attempt to refrain from the grunts that vibrated from his chest. 

His fingers rubbed quickly over your flustered clit, it was as if he already knew what you needed before you said it, he had you down to a science and you couldn’t stop your body from convulsing, your cunt squeezing around him as a signal of your incoming orgasm. 

“Jin i’m gonna-” you yelp out, this orgasm was different from the ones you would give yourself to the thought of him, pressure beginning to form dangerously in your core. 

“Shhhh i know princess relax” he hummed like an expert only would. 

Your legs fell from his shoulders and his hands received them quickly, holding them wide open. The view of your pussy taking him to the hilt  urging him to flutter in pleasure but he didn’t want to look away - he didn’t want to miss a beat, not when it had been everything he’s dreamed of and more. 

You looked so perfect, felt so perfect and whilst he fought the utter pleasure surging through him, that left him completely spent he could feel your cunt constricting around his cock, his hips faltering at the sudden tightness that enveloped him. 

“Ahh ahh” Jin yelped. 

 With loud moans you came undone, your body tensing and muscle restricting - eyes brimming with tears and just as fast, you felt every cell inside of you ease, like a shot of anesthesia, body and mind going completely blank. Moments later Jin shoots streams of his warm nectar into your walls, filling up every ridge, his milk oozing out as he retracts his hips slowly, careful as to not disturb your high. 

By the time the morning crept into the city of Yeosu, the storm had subsided - superseded by the bright sun that now shined directly in your face. You concluded that the sky had made it its goal to not allow you peaceful slumber these past few days. Denying you the pleasures of rest. You had been awake for a few minutes now but you had been reluctant to open your eyes, focusing on the feeling of the soft comforter wrapped around your nude body. 

Perhaps you were just really tired but the truth was that you just didn’t want to recognize the body that laid next to you, soft snores flowing past their lips, their face nestled into the crook of your neck. 

If you opened your eyes then it would all come to an end, the feeling of his arm wrapped around your waist, the feeling of his weight besides you. Yet, you knew it couldn't last forever and although neither of you had shared any words regarding the events that took place last evening, or the other things that happened after that, you concluded it would all end the same way it usually did. 

You weren’t unfamiliar to awkward goodbyes when the sexual tension dissipated and though inside you wanted to hold onto the hope that maybe this time it would be different, that Jin wasn't like that - you were aware of the inevitable. 

Your eyes blinked open with a soft hiss and for a moment you were blinded by a ray of sunshine gleaming on your face - you raised one of your arms, blocking away the light and carefully turned to glance over at the sleeping man beside you. Jin was sound asleep and you could tell how completely at ease he was in contrast to your nerves that rattled you out of your very needed and desired slumber. 

You didn’t want to leave, didn’t want him to wake up to an empty bed but you knew it would only be harder if you were to leave whilst he was awake, you knew he would attempt to sooth the rejection that was approaching. 

You carefully lifted his arm from around your waist, sliding inch by inch out of the comforter you both shared. Your eyes remained on his resting form, his lips slightly parted and his disheveled silky black locks sprawled on the pillow underneath his head - he looked angelic and your heart lurched at the sight. 

You contemplated if you should’ve stayed, if you could allow yourself a bit of cruelty in exchange for comfort but you had been down that road many times before and at last you made up your mind. Your eyes moved to scan the floor, trying to find the article of clothing you wore the day before but they are nowhere to be found. 

“Shit” you whispered. 

Scenes of the previous day flashed through your mind like a silent film, replaying the lust filled moments you both shared - your bodies intertwining in nearly every room of the vacant home until you found shelter under his bed sheets. His moans and whimpers forever embedded into your memory causing your legs to quiver as you stood disoriented in his room. 

You had left your clothing sprawled in different corners of the house - evidence left for your colleagues to find upon their arrival. 

Jin’s body twists and turns and grumbles fall from his lips, shifting you into overdrive. your hands quickly picked up one of his t-shirts that had been thrown across the floor. You slipped the fabric over your head - being suddenly hit with his scent, guilty adrenaline soaring through you. 

You slowly moved towards the door, your steps careful and calculated as you attempted to escape the room like a foolish thief. Your hands reached for the doorknob, wincing as the door creaked under your touch, cursing at the old house for exposing you in such a dire situation. 

“I thought i had at least 5 more minutes” Jin’s raspy voice echoed inside of the silence you so badly tried to keep. 

Your body froze - heart thumping inside of your chest at a faster rate than before. You shut your eyes as a grimace took over your expression - you had been caught, red handed. You tried to come up with an excuse, in order to lessen the blow but nothing came to mind and as you turned you gave him the words you had heard oh so many times before. 

“Sorry, i didn't want to wake you” the words left a pungent aftertaste in your mouth as you spoke them. 

Jin was sitting amongst the mess of comforter and sheets you both had made, his bare chest gleaming with the light that ripped through the windows - his hand reaching to rub his puffy eyes, a long exhausted sigh leaving his lips. 

“It's too early for you to lie and honestly, I'm too tired to believe it.”

You blinked quickly, his statement throwing you off balance. His tone did not hold any anger or frustration - he sounded disappointed. He was a reflection of you this time and now you were the one having to seek for poor excuses regarding your sudden departure. 

“Jin I-” you tried to speak but your words were cut off by silence, a boulder sitting comfortably against your throat. 

Jin shifted from his sitting position - his eyes focused on your messy hair and on his favorite t-shirt that hung loosely around your frame. 

“You are always close but yet, so out of reach Y/n” Jin states “as open as you appear to be you hold your doors so tightly that your hands grow blisters.” he didn’t intend to be harsh - in fact his words are only a demonstration of how deeply he had come to know you but you couldn’t control the bitter sensation they left inside of you. 

“I didn't mean to- '' you began but couldn’t finish, swallowing down your justifications. 

“I can predict the weather for the next 2 weeks but not what you will do next” he chuckled and your lips quivered at the reality of what he was saying, of the truths that he knew and threw at you without hesitation. 

“I just don't want to mess things up - not this time around Jin, not with you” your mouth grew dry, your eyes glistening with tears that you didn’t want to let out. 

“That’s not a decision you can make on your own,” Jin retorted. 

“Jin, i've been here before so many times - i don't want it to be you running out of my life this time, the thought alone is unbearable and i know we don't know each other like that but i don't want to put you in an uncomfortable situation, you are a really nice guy” you don’t breath between your words, your lungs constricting as you give him your reasons in fear that he won't understand. 

“Well I'm not the one sneaking out of the room, am i?” 

Jin’s stare was sharp and you fidgeted under it - your mind attempting to find other logical reasons why whatever it is you both shared ultimately would come crashing down in the most vile kind of way. 

“What if you grow tired of me?” you whispered, eyes looking away from his. 

“I like coffee” he jokes and this time you smile. 

“I'm being serious!” you whine, your brows knitting with the conflicting debate that expands in your head. 

“Y/n, i am a grown man” Jin smirks “and not the kind that plays silly little games.”

Your eyes snap in his direction - a pang of guilt shooting through you. 

“Yeah i’m sorry about that too” you mutter, your cheeks growing flushed in embarrassment. 

“Are you?” Jin raises his eyebrow, a small smile appearing on his cheeks.

“Stop apologizing and come here.”

It doesn't take a second longer before you swiftly remove his t-shirt from your body - making a mental note to remind him that it belongs to you now. the insignificant object becoming one of the first things he will let you keep without hesitation because this man, the one who you decorate with kisses - the one that has entered your atmosphere at high speeds and at an unknown trajectory will never be like the others.

© 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

#seokjin smut #seokjin imagine #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic #seokjin angst #seokjin bts #bts smut #bts x you #bts au fic #seokjin fluff #jin x reader #jin smut #jin imagine #jin angst #seokjin x oc #seokjin x y/n #jin x oc #jin x y/n #kpop smut #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin smut #kim seokjin fanfic #jin fluff

[kingofbodyrolls]

Seokjin fic recs 2023

In honor of Seokjin’s birthday, I want to share my favorite fanfictions that I’ve read this year. Although I did not read as many as I wanted to, the list will be short. But! I’ve leave my ‘to read’ list at the bottom to make up for it 💜I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post 💜And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (💜)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻. 

⭐Knocked by @sailoryooons [10.6K] // ksj x f.reader // roommates to lovers // 🥵😂

📝 Living with people is difficult, but all things considered, your new roommate isn’t terrible. He cooks, he cleans, and if you had to be honest - incredibly attractive. But his habit of streaming until the early hours of the morning while yelling and making other questionable noises has pushed you to the limit. You’ve finally decided to risk your sanity and put it all on the line with a reckless bet in hopes of getting some peace and quiet at night.

🗨️ This was so hilarious, and the build up and pay-off was really good 👏

⭐Sleepover by @peachypinkygloss [7.3K] // ksj x f.reader x pjm // bestfriends!au, threesome // 🥵

📝 You spend a night with your two best friends at their dorm room. You should have known that they wanted to do more than just watching movies.

🗨️ Omg this was so good, the smut 😘🥵

⭐I Don’t Think I’m Okay by @ressjeon [4K] // ksj x f.reader // slice of life, idiots to lovers!au, childhood friends!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 With many chances wasted, you couldn’t even resist anymore.

🗨️ A cute little Seokjin fic 🥰

⭐The IKEA Test by @yoon-bug [9.1K] // ksj x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰😂

📝 One review on IKEA’s website called the BRIMNES bed frame the leading cause of divorce due to its difficult assembly. You and Seokjin had laughed when you read it. Now, you weren’t so sure.

🗨️ Their banter and all the sexual innuendos are damn hilarious! I thoroughly enjoyed this very much 💜 

I’m really sad that I didn’t get to read more Seokjin fics 😭 I have a lot on my ‘to read’ list, so I’ll share some that I’m really excited to read when i have more time (and I know they’ll be great because they are written by amazing people!) ✨

‘To read’ list ⬇️

Fast Lane by @yminie [20.6K]

Cherry Topper by @kth1 [17.6K]

Final Sleigh by @floralseokjin [23.3K]

Stuck with you by @taleasnewastime [29.6K]

Small Tuna Fish by @floralseokjin [17.1K]

Off Limits by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Raspberry truffles by @gukyi [5K]

Christmas Warfare by @gimmethatagustd [14.5K]

9 Months to Fall in Love by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Redamancy by @jeonggukingdom [7.1K]

Sunday by @here2bbtstrash [5K]

Serve Me by @chateautae [16K]

Meet Me at the Bar by @eoieopda [7.5K]

Internal Conflicts by @yoongiofmine [series; completed]

Forever by @oddinary4bts [25.2K]

Thank you, Daddy by @ktheist [19K]

The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Glazed & Dazed by @floralseokjin [30.3K]

Wet & Wild by @jamaisjoons [10K]

Warm this Winter by @jamaisjoons [51.6K]

Peach Parfait by @jamaisjoons [series; completed]

Borderlines by @jamaisjoons [series; ongoing]

All I Don’t Want for Christmas is You! by @minisugakoobies [23.7K]

Cupid’s on Holiday by @persphonesorchid [17K]

Don’t Go Baking my Heart by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids [14.7K]

Platonic by @joheunsaram [series; completed??]

Last November by @kithtaehyung [24.7K]

Sit. Stay. by @daechwitatamic [14K]

Turn Back Time by @raplinesmoon [13.3K]

Made-up Love Song by @floralseokjin [series; completed]

Lost and Found by @taleasnewastime [21.2K]

I’m so sorry that I didn’t get to read more! 😭 Life happened, and yeah. But all of these wonderful fics on my list sound so incredibly good and I really look forward to reading them and give them a lovely review 💜

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEOKJIN!!! 💜 🥳 🎂

#bts fic recs #bts fic #bts fics #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts x female reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts x reader smut #bangtan x you #bangtan x reader #bangtan smut #bangtan fanfic #bangtan fic #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #seokjin smut #kim seokjin #seokjin #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #seokjin x you #seokjin x oc #jin x reader #jin fanfic #jin smut #bts jin #jin x you

[yoonia]

Ever A Never After — story masterpost

⟶ Title | Ever a Never After (adaptation from Enchanted movie) ⟶ Summary | Growing up in the fairy tale land, your whole life seems to have been written perfectly in the books, with the picturesque life and the Prince Charming that you can see yourself having your happily ever after with. But your entire world turns upside down when you are suddenly sent into a whole new world, a different kind of universe where happily ever after doesn’t exist. Thrust into a new challenge and shown a new side of life, you find yourself standing in a crossroad. When the moment arises, would you find your way back home to your true love, or is the universe trying to show you that sometimes happy endings don’t have to be written so perfectly?

⟶ Pairings | Jungkook x female reader; Seokjin x female reader ⟶ Genre | Strangers to lovers!au, Fairy tale retelling!au, Angst, Smut ⟶ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; specific warnings will be added accordingly on each published chapters ⟶ Status / Current word count / Total word count | ONGOING; latest update: [teaser] Ever A Never After: Act 1 (April 25th, 2024) - n/a words of n/a words  ⟶ Main Masterlist | Mailbox | Feedback | Ko-fi | Music companion

⟶ Special Taglist: Ever A Never After

⟶ Story Note | Written in 2nd person POV (in case you’re new to my writing, I don’t use ‘y/n’ coding as all of my lead characters are considered as OCs). In place of the coding, you’ll find a blank space as her name. Please also note that our main character/reader insert for this story has her own nickname that will be used in the scenes. While the story is adapted from the movie, Enchanted, with some characters and places that were mentioned in the movie added into this story, I will be adding changes in the story settings, characters’ names and background stories to fit the plot. That being said, as someone who has never set foot in the land of America, forgive me if there are some inaccuracies in the details that are being added here. I hope that doesn’t change your reading experience with the story.

⟶ Chapters

⇢ Act One. Andalasia, The Maiden, and The Dream Prince

⇢ Act Two. The Alter World and The Saviour

⇢ Act Three. Fairy Tales and Bittersweet Endings

⇢ Act Four. The Ball for The Kings and Queens and Dragons

⇢ Act Five. Prince Charming and a Happily Never After

⟶ Patreon specials

⇢ visual inspiration board

⟶ Author’s Note | Originally commissioned by @pinkbtsarmy | It’s finally here! I’m so sorry for taking so long with this one. Thank you so much for commissioning me and for your endless support. As mentioned in our last talk, there will be some changes from the original prompt/details that I’ve made to make the story work better, but I hope you’ll be able to enjoy it still. I have decided to release this one as a mini-series to present the timeline more appropriately and make the storyline work. Have fun reading!

— © Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. unsolicited translations are not allowed.

#misc: masterlist #k-vanity #btscreaturescoven #bangtanwhq #bangtansorciere #bts fanfic #bts scenario #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #seokjin fanfic #seokjin scenario #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #jin scenario #jin smut #jin angst #jin fluff #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader

[7ndipity]

He Forgets Your Birthday

Jin x Reader

Summary: Jin just wants to make your birthday memorable, but what happens when life gets too hectic and makes him forget?

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, swearing

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me a little bit to get to.

Masterlist

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Life moved quickly with Jin, in multiple ways.

The first time you ever met, he asked for your number, fearing you wouldn’t cross paths again and he might not get another chance. You both said ‘I love you’ less than two months into dating, after he accidentally let it slip out during one of your first nights together, you even ended up moving in with him after less than a year when the apartment you were subletting fell through(or more accurately, flooded through, but whatever)

Things also moved quickly because of your careers. Sometimes days would flick by without your realizing, a week would turn into two before either of you noticed, and then suddenly it’s been nearly two months since your last technical date.

Despite your reassurances that you understood, Jin felt guilty at times for the two of you missing out on special occasions like holidays or anniversaries with each other, but one day he promised he wouldn’t let slip past was your birthday.

You weren't exactly a fan of making a big fuss for your birthday, but Jin wanted to make it special for you.

“I’ll cook,” He’d promised you. “I’ll make all your favorites, as well as traditional seaweed soup for good luck, and then we’ll do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”

“What if I don’t want to do anything?” You’d asked, raising a brow as you sat on his lap.

“Then we’ll do nothing together,” He’d replied, pulling you closer. “And have a wonderful time doing it.”

It’d been an easy promise to make when your birthday was still almost a month away, but as the days and weeks passed, things became increasingly hectic. Comeback season was drawing close, and with it came the pressure and chaos of constant rehearsals, video shoots, and promotional activities, leaving Jin little time to think about much else. Half the time you were already asleep before he got home at night, tiredly wrapping himself around you for a few precious hours before starting the cycle all over again.

He didn’t even know what day of the week it was until Jimin spoke up as they slumped against the wall, trying to catch their breath during rehearsals.

“Oh, how’s Y/n? Did they like their gift?” Jimin asked. “I haven't heard from them since I texted happy birthday this morning.”

Jin felt his heart screech to a stop as he looked over at the younger man, hoping he had misheard. “What?”

“The flowers you helped us pick out? I figured they would’ve-” Jimin’s voice trailed off as he noticed the growing look of horror on Jin’s face. “Tell me you didn’t forget?”

Jin’s whole body felt cold as he fumbled for his phone, stomach dropping as he read the date, and then the numerous text notifications from you.

His hands shook as he read your words, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

‘You left this morning before I got to say it, but love you💖’

‘Do you know what time you’ll be home?’

'Ngl, I'm kinda excited for tonight, it's been ages since I had your cooking😋'

‘Jinnie? Is everything okay?’

‘You’re not coming, are you?’

‘You could at least answer your phone so I know you’re okay.’

Shit.

Sparing no time explaining to the others, he grabbed his things and bolted out the door, nearly sprinting for the elevators.

He couldn’t believe how badly he’d fucked up, you must’ve been so upset with him. How would he even explain himself to you? Would you even talk to him when he got home? He wouldn’t blame you if the answer was no.

“Y/n?” He called as he opened the door but the house was silent, all the lights off, the stillness seeming to loom over him as he kicked off his shoes.

Tip-toeing through the house, he caught sight of the bouquet of flowers the guys had sent you sitting proudly in the center of the dining table, their cheery brightness almost mocking him now.

As he neared your shared bedroom, he caught sight of a sliver of light slipping out into the hall from the crack in the door.

Peeking in, he found you curled up on your side of the bed, sound asleep, but he could tell by the puffiness around your eyes that you’d been crying, shattering his heart completely.

He slowly sank down on the bed next to you, gently brushing your hair out of your face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” He choked, tears blurring your image in front of him. He felt like the worst boyfriend in the world, how could he have forgotten something like this?! He had promised you!

He’d always tried so hard to live up to his commitments and responsibilities in your relationship, no matter how small, but in the moment when it mattered the most, he’d failed you.

“Jinnie?” Your cracked, sleep laden voice snapped his attention back up to you, meeting your tired eyes.

“Y/n, I’m so sorry.” He said, crying in earnest now.

“ ‘s okay.” You said drowsily, too tired to fight with him.

“It’s not. I made you a promise, and I fucked up.” He said, wiping his face.

You didn’t speak, sitting up slowly and pulling him into a hug. As upset as you might’ve been, you couldn’t stand to see him cry.

You wouldn’t lie, you were deeply hurt, but it wasn’t just for you. You’d seen how hard he’d been working lately, coming home late sore and exhausted, bags under his eyes from fatigue. You hated seeing him so tired all the time, so stressed and not able to do anything about it. You knew that under normal circumstances, he would’ve never forgotten, but your lives weren’t normal.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He cried into your neck. “I’ll find a way.”

“Jinnie, I don’t care about the dinner,” You said, trying not to start crying again yourself as you pulled back to look at him. “All I really wanted was to be with you.”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“Just come hold me, please.” You half dragged him under the covers with you, winding your limbs around each other tightly.

Neither of you spoke much as you slowly drifted off to sleep, clinging to each other desperately, needing to feel each other to be sure you were both still there.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you found his side of the bed empty.

Sitting up slowly, you glanced around, questions only just beginning to form in your mind before you heard a faint noise from somewhere in the house, the scent of one of your favorite dishes drifting through the open bedroom door.

Still groggy, you climbed out of bed and followed the smell to your kitchen, where you found your missing boyfriend, his back to you as he stood over the stove, fussing at something he was stirring.

“Why are you so salty? I didn’t even add that much.”

“Maybe it’s just in a bad mood.”

He turned at the sound of your voice, eyes softening as they found you in the doorway, messy hair and sleep clouded eyes, wearing one of his pajama tops as a sleepshirt.

“I thought you were still asleep.” He said softly.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

“Fulfilling my promise to you.” He said, turning back to the stove for a moment as he spoke. “It’s not quite all of your favorites, but it’s a start. Plus, we’ve got the whole day to do whatever else you want to do.”

“I have work.” You said, not unkindly.

“No, you don’t.” He responded. “I left them a message saying you were sick and couldn’t come in today.”

“Sick with what?” You asked.

“Bad boyfriend-itis,” He said, coming over to hook his arms round your waist. “It’s a very serious condition, it requires a lot of rest and care to recover from.”

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.” You said quietly, fiddling with his shirt collar.

“I’m not so sure about that.” He said, frowning.

“Well, I am.” You pushed up on your toes to press your lips to his softly, making him melt instantly. You let your hands slowly trail up and around his neck, earning a slight shiver from him before you pulled away to look at him. “What about rehearsals?”

“I told them the same thing as your work.” He said with a slightly dazed grin.

“You have boyfriend-itis too?” You raised a brow at him questioningly.

“Are you kidding? I’m patient zero.” He replied, earning a giggle from you, making his heart swell as he smiled down at you.

“Go back to bed,” He said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’ll call you when it’s ready.”

“I don’t wanna go back to bed.” You said, wrapping your arms around his waist, looking up at him seriously. “I told you last night, I just want to be with you.”

“Alright then.” He hooked his hands under your thighs, boosting you up to sit on the counter with a surprised squeak from you. “You can sit here and be my lovely assistant.”

“I don’t even know what you’re making.” You giggled again.

“Doesn’t matter, just follow my lead and make yummy noises when I show you something.”

The two of you talked as he continued cooking, stopping each time he passed by you to leave a kiss on your waiting lips. Once everything was ready, you moved to the table, sitting close enough that you could reach over and grab his hand as he settled next to you.

He glanced up at you. “What is it?”

“Just thank you.” You said.

He tilted his head. “For what?”

“Being you. Being here.”

Jin felt the familiar twisting in his chest as he leaned over to press another kiss to your lips.

“Always.” He promised.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake again, he swore to himself, he would be there for you, no matter what else was going on. You were his world, his heart, and he would make sure you knew that from now on.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan

#seokjin angst #seokjin scenarios #seokjin drabble #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #seokjin fluff #bts one shot #bts x y/n #bts x reader #bts drabble #bts angst #bts requests #7ndipity

[back2bluesidex]

20 Years Late - KSJ

Pairing: Divorced, single dad!SeokjinX Best friend, Fem!Reader

Theme: Angst, Fluff, mutual pining, confessions, slice of life au, bf2l au.

Wordcount: 1.3k+

Summary: Seokjin could count on his fingers the things that haven't changed within these 20 years of his life, and one of those is you..

Warnings: mentions of unsuccessful marriage, divorce, mutual pining, quite angsty (Not like girl crush I promise), love confessions, crying, Seokjin is 40, reader is 39. SFW.

Minors are not allowed in this blog!!

A/N: Happy Seokjin day! Hope our baby is happy and healthy. 💜

And I hope you all like this short piece. I personally like the way it turned out. Tell me what you guys think.

“Appa, you know you have to do it today, right?” Seokhee’s voice sounds less like encouragement and more like a threat. Seokjin knows his daughter well. He knows she will make his life a living hell if he fails to complete his mission today. 

So, he has to do it. He has to do it today at any freaking cost. 

“Yes, Seokhee! Appa knows.” Seokjin tries to calm his daughter down but in reality, he fails to stay calm himself. 

He is nervous. There is a tremble in his hands, which he used to experience back in his rookie days. 

Now that he is thinking of those days, he realizes so many things have changed, have been altered even. He used to be youthful, used to throw dad jokes all around, used to hit the club twice a month but now.. All he has is back pain, impending migraine before each boring meeting, and a skin thicker than earth’s mantle. 

But he also has more experience, both professionally and personally, and patience. Certainly, a wrong marriage, fatherhood and a divorce has taught him enough about life and he is grateful for that. 

He could count on his fingers the things that haven't changed within these 20 years of his life, and one of those is you. 

You were with him when he used to be reckless and wild, you were with him when he took the vows he couldn’t keep, you were with him when he held Seokhee for the first time in his arms, you were with him when he signed those divorce papers and you still are with him. 

You took care of not only him but also his daughter selflessly. He is grateful to you for all of it, but he is even more apologetic. You kind of sacrificed your life for your best friend, him, and his daughter, Seokhee. And as a result, you are 39 and unmarried. 

What unsettles Seokjin even more is that he could have easily held your hands, looked into your eyes and told you that he loves you, he has been loving you for 20 years now… but he failed. 

He failed you again and again on several occasions for numerous times in these 20 years. However, that is not what he wants to think of today. He is finally giving himself a chance, giving his life another chance… and giving you an idea of what you and him could be... together. 

“Hey handsome, where are you so lost?” you appear out of nowhere and sit down beside him on the sand. Handing him the ice-cream cone, you take a lick from yours. 

Seokjin jolts at your sudden appearance. He tries to calculate for how long he has been zoning out. He looks at his phone only to find out Seokhee has cut the call and the screen went back to his wallpaper.. him, Seokhee and you, a happy family... only if it actually was. He puts the device in his pocket.

“Took you so long.” he comments softly as he tastes the vanilla-flavored goodness on the tip of his tongue. 

“Yeah. The queue was pretty long.” you point at the ice-cream shop residing a little far away from the place you two are sitting currently. “But it’s worth it. The ice-cream tastes really good. Seokhee would have liked it so much.”  

Seokjin scoffs. He sometimes feels jealous of his own daughter because these days all you talk about is her. Is Seokjin nothing more than Seokhee’s father? Are those 20 years long memories fading from your brain or something? Can’t you look at him as Kim Seokjin, the 40 years old businessman, who loves you?   

“You miss her, don’t you?” he turns his head to look at you. The mellow sea breeze has ruffled up your hair making it messy, you have a little bit of chocolate at the corner of your lips, your right elbow is covered with sand, your eyes are red and there are eyebags under those. But you are beautiful nonetheless. As beautiful as when he had seen you for the first time, when he was 20 and you were 19. 

“Of course I do. I know your ex-wife takes good care of her but I can’t help being a little worried, which makes me miss her even more.” you pout a little. Seokjin’s heart melts into a puddle. 

“And what about me? Do you miss me?” he adds a little suggestively, trying to find an answer or a question in your eyes. 

“You are practically right here, Jin. Why the fuck will I miss you?”  you giggle, nudging his shoulder with yours in the process. 

“Not that, Y/N. Don’t you miss your Jinnie? You best friend? The person I used to be before getting married, before having Seokhee?” If Seokjin's voice sounds a little desperate, he does nothing to mask it. It’s you after all. He can show you the real him, the desperate version of himself who craves you and your love. 

You smile a little, but there is a sadness in it that tugs at Seokjin’s heart strings. 

“Yes. Yes I do. But I can’t let that take me over. Otherwise I will start wishing for impossible, forbidden things that I buried long, long ago.”  

“What if those things are not forbidden? Not impossible? What if- what if the wishes are mutual?” Seokjin suggests. 

Your expression changes in a heartbeat. When you look at him, he perceives moisture in your eyes. And you look hurt, as if he has trespassed a territory you clearly asked him to stay away from. 

“You don’t know what you are saying, Seokjin.” Your voice trembles. 

“Don’t call me that. Call me Jinnie, just like you used to 12 years ago.” Seokjin scoots closer to your body. 

“I- I can’t-”

“Let’s start afresh. Both of us, you and me, together. Please?” Seokjin cuts you off. 

“What? What are you even.. Jin? Are you pitying me right now? Are you extending your kind hands seeing me approaching my 40s without a partner?” Fat trails of tears roll down your cheeks and break Seokjin’s heart.

“No- what the fuck! No-” Seokjin tries to establish his ground but you cut him off.

“Then why? Tell me why are you proposing something so unreasonable like this? Are you joking with me?” you spat at him. 

“Do I really have to spell it out for you? I love you! Are you happy now?” Seokjin shouts back, “do think it’s unreasonable to finally give my feelings a chance after debating for 20 fucking years?” 

“Jin-” 

“For god’s sake, Y/N. I have more gray hair than black these days! Do you think I will be joking about getting married with the woman I love at this age?” 

“Are you-”

“Yes! Yes I am serious. I have been loving you since when I was 20 and you were 19. Hell! I took my wedding vows imagining your face and you are now accusing me of pitying you!” Jin’s own face is smeared with tears now. He didn’t even realize when he started crying. 

“Was I the reason behind your unsuccessful marriage?” your voice sounds unsure as you address the elephant in the room. 

“No. It was a marriage of convenience, none of us were happy. It had to end at a point and it did. You have nothing to do with it.” Jin replies, wiping the tears off of his face. 

He finds you biting your lips as you stare at the sea ahead. 

“It’s okay if you-” Jin gets silenced as you whip your head at the speed of lightning and place a chaste kiss on his lips. 

“I love you too, Jinnie. I have always been in love with you, maybe even before you fell for me.” you murmur, connecting your forehead with his. 

Tears roll down Jin’s cheeks again, but this time due to happiness. You wipe those with your thumb. 

“Finally.. Finally you are mine.” Jin whispers as he leans in for another kiss. 

“Yeah, you are a little too 20 years late but we are finally there.” you place your lips on his. 

“I love you, Y/N” Jin mumbles in between the kiss, pulling you closer by your waist. 

“I love you too, Jinnie.” You reply, wrapping your hands around his neck. 

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie

#bts angst #seokjin angst #jin angst #bts fluff #seokjin fluff #jin fluff #bts x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts x you #seokjin x you #jin x you #bts fanfiction #seokjin fanfic #kim seokjin #bts seokjin #happy seokjin day #bts

[chateautae]

serve me | ksj. (m)

➵ summary: kim seokjin has been your annoyingly stoic butler ever since you started university, and were gifted your own penthouse. for years, your relationship had remained on the outs, subjecting seokjin to hearing your desperate moans for other men each time they climbed into your sheets; and each time you rubbed it in his face. little did you know that you were only riling him up, and it would be your moans for him bouncing off the walls when your taunting finally unravels his ironclad self-control.

➵ pairing: butler!seokjin x rich kid!f. reader

➵ genre: rich kid!au, domestic?au, forbidden relationship!au, age gap (8 years), porn but with plot :S, minor angst, fluff, smut

➵ rating: 18+

➵ word count: 16k

➵ warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol and drug use (parties are able to consent), constant sexual teasing/innuendos, tension, heavy making out, explicit sexual content, bit of soft dom/daddy!seokjin, switch!reader, mild brat-taming, lil age kink, marking, lots of licking, restraint (with his hands), nipple sucking, oral (m. and f. receiving), pussy eating (with the panties on and off 👀), deep-throating, ass-grabbing, unprotected sex (pls wrap before tapping), missionary + wall sex, multiple orgasms, creampie <33 

➵ a/n: hi lovelies! hope you enjoy this completely self-indulgent fic i wrote because i got random inspiration from harry osborne’s butler... YES THIS IDEA CAME FROM SPIDERMAN OF ALL THINGS 😭 enjoy!! thank you the lovely @ggukcangetit​​ for beta-ing this <3 as always, feedback is appreciated xoxo

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. I-don’t-have-a-life.” 

“Welcome home, Miss Y/L/N.” 

You sent Seokjin a bitter smile before walking right past him, tossing your purse aside and collapsing onto the couch. 

“Don’t you have, like, things to do instead of hovering, Seokjin?” 

The man stared at you with nothing but a blank face and slightly furrowed brows. It was the third night Seokjin had been employed to you, and absolutely nothing he did prompted you to show any likeness towards him. 

He swallowed and fixed his already upright posture, clearing his throat. “My thing is to take care of you, Miss Y/L/N.” 

You rolled your eyes, smothering your face into the couch with a huff—your moping was interrupted by his plain tone. 

“Did you have a good day, Miss Y/L/N?” 

“Would’ve been great without you incessantly texting me while I was out, and having to see your face.” You sweetly smiled for him, so much so that it was evidently fake. Seokjin merely swallowed, failing to reveal any real emotion.

“Well then, I will leave you be.” He declared, excusing himself from the main area to march towards the steps. 

You scoffed as he robotically made himself scarce, grinding your teeth together. “You know, showing some goddamn emotion may actually make me like you, you statue!” You shouted from the first floor, watching him turn to face you from the second. 

“I shall keep that in mind.” He simply stated, before disappearing down the corridor—you quickly snatched a cushion off your couch and screamed into it, kicking your feet. 

That was one of the many interactions you’d always had with Seokjin, your entire relationship defined by how much you hated the objective of his job, while he stoically went about ensuring it was performed impeccably.

Kim Seokjin was the irritating butler your family oh-so graciously had gifted you, leaving you despising his entire existence. 

It had been like that for as long as you could remember, four years of flat responses, blank faces and robot-like tendencies. The frustrating years all began with the summer before university, arriving home from a graduation party to find your parents seated in the living room, harbouring big news.

“Honey, take a seat. We have something to discuss.” 

And there you sat gob-smacked, irritation boiling in your veins once they broke the agitating news. 

“You hired a baby-sitter for me? What the fuck?!” 

“Language, honey.” Your father scolded you. 

“He’s not a baby-sitter, Y/N, he’s a butler, and he will be completely harmless.” Your mother softly explained. 

You crossed your arms with a dramatic huff, unable to contain your outrage. “There is no way in hell I’m living here if you hired some sort of watch dog to keep an eye on me. I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want, mom and dad.” 

“And we’re not saying you’re not an adult, Y/N. We’re simply employing you with a butler whose family has worked for us for years; it’s non-negotiable.” 

“You’re acting as if this is some sort of gift, it’s not! I thought I would be getting this penthouse to myself, that was the deal!” You actually stomped your foot, entirely fed up with this.

“Y/N, this penthouse may be yours but you are not capable of taking care of yourself right now. We hired him to help ease the responsibilities that come with living on your own.” 

“Ugh!” You blew up, abruptly rising from the couch. “You guys are completely killing my vibe, I’m not accepting this!” 

Four weeks later, you were forced to accept it. Your first year of university had crept up on you and no matter how many times you screeched at your parents, they never budged, weaponizing the classic threat of swiping the entire penthouse from you if you didn’t comply. 

The penthouse is what mattered most to you. It was conveniently located in the heart of Toronto and right next to your university, so there was absolutely no way you’d give up the lush palace that was every city-goer’s desire. 

Two beautiful stories, tall glass panels for windows with high ceilings, aesthetic brick-styled walls accompanied by opulent, vintage embellishments. Dark colour palettes with cherry woods and chic furniture—it was truly a dream. 

But alas, your glorious place was always wrecked by one thing; Seokjin’s annoying presence. 

The man moved as stealthily as a vampire, never to be seen or heard, but he still irked you. The constant idea of knowing he was there, knowing he can hear every sound, witness each and every guest you bring home with you, lingered somewhere near wherever you stayed—it consistently made you a grumpy bitch.

You didn’t have much against him, none of this was really his fault, anyway. He couldn’t deny his family’s work nor your parent’s bidding to take care of their daughter, but the situation always remained a thorn in your side. 

At one point, you decided to interrogate him, tired of his Casper the Friendly Ghost act. He seemed much older, though you were clueless on his exact age. You didn’t know where he was from, nothing about his education, his heritage, even his favourite damn colour. 

The only thing you knew was that he was drop-dead gorgeous. 

Yes, Seokjin was admittedly the most beautiful man you’d laid eyes upon. His luscious lips were your weakness, piggy-backed by his impeccably proportioned face, his charming almond-eyes and jet black, silky hair. It didn’t help that he was always adorned with a suit, and moved so elegantly, with a certain natural grace that massively allured you. 

He appeared to you like a movie-star or a model, a face worthy of being plastered all across department store windows to advertise whatever sorry-assed thing they were selling while the only thing anyone would give a fuck about is his stunning beauty. 

All these thoughts made you curious about why he was a butler, even if it was a family-run thing.

“So,” you cleared your throat one evening as you studied in the living room. Your soft Spotify playlist filled the room from your TV as you scribbled notes. “How old are you, Seokjin?” 

He didn’t answer, and you quirked a confused brow. You stopped writing to repeat your question. “Seokjin, hello? How old are you?” 

Again, no response. You scoffed as you shut your notebook and twisted around to locate him; he was staring at absolutely nothing as he stood motionless by the kitchen, merely blinking. “Earth to Seokjin? I’m talking to you.” 

“I’m advised to keep our conversations strictly impersonal, Miss. Y/L/N.” He blankly responded; you had to bitterly laugh. 

“Wow, ‘strictly impersonal.” You mockingly repeated. “Fucking mom and dad.” You shook your head cursing the damn folks; not only did they force you to accept this, but made it completely impossible for you to enjoy any of it?

“Well, I’m the one you’re taking care of, and I command you to speak to me.” 

“It’s correct you’re in my care, but Mr and Mrs Y/L/N are my employers, Miss Y/L/N; I must comply with their rules.” His smooth, silky voice graced your ears, nearly causing a shiver to wrack your spine. You couldn’t help but focus on the way his lips moved when he talked, and the gentle smile he flashed before returning to his Oscar-worthy performance of Michael Myers. 

You know, minus the killing, just the silence. 

You dramatically sighed, shutting your book and tossing it aside before rolling onto your stomach. You rested your chin in your palms as you eyed him with a bright smile over the couch, swinging your legs like a teenager. “Now, who says rules are to be complied with?” 

Seokjin’s brow slightly twitched in question, but remained quiet. You exhaled frustratingly before pouting, fed up with his silence. “Do you know how absolutely annoying that is? If you’re gonna be a glorified peeping tom for however long I live here, the least you can do is talk to me.” 

“I’m not a peeping tom, Miss Y/L/N.” He answered seriously, and it’s now, you realized, you’d actually provoked him. “I would never do anything to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. If I in any way do with my actions, then you must tell me, Miss. Y/L/N.” 

You absorbed his words with a conflicted face, eyeing him with skepticism. One part of you fought to antagonize him, to subject him to the absolute worst of your behaviour, but the other was adopting the slightest liking to him—you hated it. 

You sprung up for your seat, marching your way over to him until you invaded his personal space—Seokjin leaned away with widened, almost terrified eyes. “Miss Y/L/N?” 

“Listen, Seokjin.” You harshly began. “You wanna know what makes me uncomfortable? You. The entire goddamn idea of you, alright? No matter where I go or what I do, I hate knowing you’re in this house, capiche?” You knew you were being a bitch, you knew your tone was saturated with a cut-throat edge, but nothing else seemed to make the man budge. “And you know what I’ll do if you don’t at least make yourself likable? I’m going to live my life as if you don’t exist, and break every single rule my parents put in place. So, either you speak to me like a human being and disregard my parents’ petty rules, or I make your life a living hell, what’s it gonna be?” 

The man appeared acutely dazed. He swallowed multiple times as he studied your features, flickering between your tightly-drawn lips and fierce eyes, your crossed arms and strong, squared shoulders—he must’ve been detecting you were completely serious. 

“Alright, Miss Y/L/N.” He barely choked out, regaining his previous stoic stance; seems like you’d finally caught him off-guard. “But how will we ensure your mother and father do not find out about our… acquaintanceship?” 

“Simple,” you bounced your brows as you laid a finger across his chest, coquettishly drawing a useless pattern. “Ever heard of not kissing and telling, Seokjin?” 

Again, his Adam’s apple bobbed, and you enjoyed the reaction. He wet his lips before responding, watching your hand wander over his chest. “How would that fit our scenario?” 

“Easy, we kiss and don’t tell. Except we don’t kiss and just keep things secret,” your tone teasingly lightened, decreasing the space between you two—you couldn’t help but trail your finger up his throat, eventually pressing it against his delectable lips. “Unless you want to?” 

Seokjin suddenly, and unexpectedly, gave you a challenging look, curling his hand around yours and removing it from his lips. “You’re the woman I’m meant to take care of, Miss Y/L/N—nothing more.” 

You scoffed, caught in an unbelievable glare with him. Frustration crawled under your skin, how could he be so adamant about one thing? So what if he’s meant to take care of you, he could at least be fun or lighten up. Irritated, you snatched your hand out of his grasp, slightly disheartened by him rejecting you—oh well, not like you cared about what he thought, anyway. 

“You just waged a war,” you pointed at him with emphasis, stepping backwards towards the stairs. “And you’re not gonna like knowing I always win.” 

Before he could respond, you disappeared up your winding steps and into your room, shutting your door as loudly as possible to send the message across.  

It was always like that with Seokjin, no matter how much you pushed to develop some form of friendship, he always shot down your advances. It’s not like you were attempting to ensnare him in some elaborate trap to get him fired; you knew your parents knew you were a brat like that, and would fabricate anything to exterminate him.

So you decided to play this differently; with at least a semblance of the real desire to be friends with Seokjin. 

Nonetheless, you weren’t going to let his trivial existence dampen your life, throwing yourself into the pleasures of your university years. It was easy to make friends when you were the rich kid; inevitable almost. Even if you could tell half of their compliments and desire to help you with assignments all stemmed from the selfish need for advantages, some truly made the nights at your penthouse fun. 

It wasn’t long before guests would pile into your home, hosting them for study dates, movie nights, incessant girl-talk or much-needed sleep-overs. 

The war you declared would begin with your first tactic; disrupt the enemy’s flow. 

You constantly allowed Seokjin to tend to any of your needs including your friends. You didn’t mean to make him a servant, but if he was so adamant about remaining loyal to his work, then a butler he must be. 

Having friends over slowly transitioned into hosting your very own party, celebrating the end of first-semester exams, and happily ringing in the month-long break before your second-semester. Snow stuck to the ground and made the city of Toronto appear like winter wonderland, though that only made the need for warm bodies grinding against each other even more apparent. 

It was with a drink in your hand you’d bumped into Seokjin, who nearly spilled over the plastic plates and cups he was carrying. 

“Oh look, if it isn’t Chewbacca minus the fur,” you condescended. “You know, since you never talk and follow me around like I’m Han Solo.” 

“This party will not end well, Miss Y/L/N.” Seokjin warned you, ignoring your provocation. “I don’t mind drinking and recreational drugs, but there are students circulating seriously harmful narcotics, Miss Y/L/N. It could become dangerous for you.”

The worry in his eyes is what loosened your tough girl act, uncrossing your arms. “I… didn’t know anyone brought narcotics.” You slowly worked through the knowledge, becoming docile. “I’m sorry, Seokjin, I really didn’t know.” 

“It’s alright, Miss. Y/L/N.” He eased you, flashing you that stupidly adorable smile of his—so subtle and yet so lethal. “The other students are of my concern but your safety is my number one priority, Miss Y/L/N. Please be careful—I’m unsure what I’d do if anything happened to you.” 

In that moment, underneath flashing lights, blaring music, and swaying bodies, time seemed to slow, and the only racing thing was your touched, erratic heartbeat. Seokjin because the only person in your sight, his soft, gentle gaze stealing your breath away. 

You swallowed harshly once you were sucked out of whatever trance that was, nodding for him. “Thank you, Seokjin, I’ll get right to it.” You’d promised him with a clasp of his arm before weaving through the massive crowd, hunting down the idiots who dared jeopardize your party. 

That party was only a catalyst to the many more moments you’d share with Seokjin, moments that made you feel things you didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t long until you began indulging in other men to push away whatever you felt. 

University paired with an expensive penthouse invited a myriad of men to your bed, throwing all care aside to have the fun you rightfully deserved. For the next year, you didn’t care that Seokjin slept just down the hall, you didn’t care that he could probably hear your moans, hear the bed creak as a strange man thrusted into you, neither did you care when you would waltz downstairs the morning after, sometimes your companion home, while others turned tail and ran before you woke. 

Not that you cared—you liked sex as it was; an attachment was never necessary. 

Sometimes you considered whether Seokjin was genuinely asleep, and therefore clueless, or stayed up most nights able to hear every erotic sound you made. Did he lie in bed and fantasize about what he could hear? Did he possibly leave the house altogether? He never once complained anytime you’d meet him the morning after—was he just an extremely patient and understanding man? 

You slightly winced in pain as you took a seat by the island—last night’s escapade was on the rougher side, and your cooch was retaliating by aching like a bitch. 

Seokjin noticed the pain on your features, peeking at you before continuing to chop up fruits—he appeared oddly husband-like with his apron on, even more so with his casual, though attractive clothes. “Are you alright, Miss Y/L/N?” 

“You really need to stop calling me that,” you voiced with a hiss, before adjusting your position to a more comfortable one. 

“Why so? I believe it’s your name.” 

“It’s the name associated with my parents, genius. I have a first name, which you’re completely allowed to use, by the way. Not like I’m your master or something.” You waved off, reaching over to pop a sliced strawberry from his cutting board into your mouth, bouncing your brows. “Unless you’d like that in another scenario.” 

Seokjin narrowed his eyes at you. He simply licked his lips before grabbing a mango to peel. “You seem to be in pain, is it because of…” He suddenly trailed as his eyes unfocused, his peeling unexpectedly slowing. 

You cocked a suspicious brow. “Seokjin?” 

The gorgeous man blinked multiple times before shaking his head, and continuing the conversation. Did you just witness a real-life loading screen? “Sorry, um… are you alright?” 

His behavior sparked your curiosity, leaning onto the counter as you nibbled your lip. Your cheek rested in your palm, tilting your head to mischievously regard him. “What were you gonna say?” 

“Pardon?” He responded, vehemently concentrating on slicing his mango—it only prompted you to pull on his leg. 

“What? I seem to be in pain because of last night?” 

Seokjin’s eyes minutely widened, before he coughed away the display of emotion. His jaw flexed as he returned to concentrating, eliciting an amused chuckle from you. 

“Wow, you’re pretty much ancient compared to me and yet, you can barely say the word sex.” 

“I’m not ancient,” he defensively cut in. “I’m only a few years older than you.” 

“Ah, so I’ve finally got information on the ancient Greek statue!” You theatrically jazz-handed, curving your lips in an obnoxious smile. “So what, you’re 24? 25?” 

Seokjin gave you a hard stare before returning to work as though you were non-existent. “Am I hot? Cold? C’mon, Jinnie, you gotta help me out here.” 

“What did you just call me?” 

“Awh, I think that’s the first time you actually spoke to me like a human being.” You overly pouted, clasping your hands together with gratitude. 

Seokjin cut off his own scoff before he let it out, clearly annoyed. “I’m 27.” 

“Ouu, 8 years older than me, huh? No wonder you won’t take my advances seriously.” You entertained some self-deprecating humour, restlessly wiggling your foot as you waited on his fruit bowl. 

Seokjin lifted his gaze to regard you, his eyes swimming with sympathy. He gently pursed his lips before softly speaking. “It’s… not about your age, Miss Y/L/N. I am meant to take care of you, not start a relationship of any sort with you.” 

“What, because of my parents?” You bitterly accused. 

He glanced at you with a sigh, though didn’t respond.

“Then what? Do you find me wildly unattractive? Is it my bitchy personality? Or maybe because I’m not a “woman” enough to you?” 

Seokjin’s expression demonstrated hesitation—you find yourself shocked as well. Why did these words even leave your mouth? You were never one to harbour insecurities of any kind. 

Then again, you’ve never had a Seokjin in your life. 

“No, Miss Y/L/N,” Seokjin gently answered. “You are not unattractive, nor bitchy or any less of a woman in my eyes. You’re simply… someone I am meant to take care of.” 

“You know, you say that a lot, and yet here I am, feeling like shit because you refuse to treat me as anything but an obligation.” The quaver in your voice surprised you, how could something as kind as Seokjin’s hospitality be harming you? It made no logical sense, and yet, your mouth ran as though it held no attachment to your head, only your heart. 

Seokjin visibly softened upon hearing your shaking tone, and became even more concerned when you hid your eyes. He stopped cutting to rest the knife against the counter, searching for something to say. 

His continued silence felt deafening, and you were done feeling like shit. Scratching your chair back, you almost successfully stomped away until his honey-like, benevolent voice pierced the air. 

“Are you seriously alright after last night? It sounded… harsh.” 

You paused, furrowing your brows with confusion. “Sounded…?” You swiveled around, attempting to piece together what he meant… “You… heard me?” 

“I hear you every night.” 

Your eyes widened, surprise coloring your system until shame dawned on you. You cleared your throat as you hugged your robe around your frame underneath, suddenly hyper aware of your nakedness. “I don’t… have someone over every night.” 

“I hear you on nights when someone isn’t helping you, either.” 

You nearly choked on air, coughing as you broke eye contact with him. He stood and spoke so casually, as if he weren’t just admitting to hearing you masturbate—your immediate response was less graceful than you intended. 

“W-why are you asking if I’m okay?” 

“Sounded like a rough night,” he simple stated, continuing to cut his stupid fruits. Your cheeks warmed, your breathing accelerated and you swear whatever tension he ignited was now invading your body, scratching to get under your skin. 

You hate that your body reacted with arousal. 

“I hope nobody’s too rough with you; or else I may have to intervene.” 

His words nearly made your jaw drop, scoffing as you held your chest. “Intervene? Intervene how?” 

Seokjin stopped cutting again to lean against the kitchen counter, the lower height of it causing him to slightly bend over—he appeared devilishly sexy when he did that. “Taking care of you, Miss Y/L/N, means ensuring you’re not hurt in any way possible—even if it happens because of some rough sex.” 

It was extremely hard to maintain your poker face when he spoke those words so nonchalantly—it’s then you remembered he is 8 years older, and you clearly were stupid to think he’d remain hush-hush about “adult” topics. “And what will you do if I want it rough?” 

You shifted your weight onto a leg as you cocked a brow, challenging him to provide any sort of answer that wouldn’t piss you off. Seokjin exhaled through his nose, dipping his head before connecting his beautiful, brown eyes with you. “I will not judge that, nor intervene if something is of your desire. But please, be careful—that’s all I ask for your safety.” 

You scoffed at his good guy act, bitterly laughing. “Acting like a white knight after admitting you listen to me moan? Not a smart way to deny the peeping tom allegations, now is it, Jinnie?” 

Seokjin actually let himself laugh, but it was dry and humorless, channeling raw wit into his mirthy eyes. “I agreed to keep secrets from your parents, not you.” 

“And yet you won’t tell me a single thing about yourself?” You countered. “Very unconvincing, Casper the Friendly ghost.” 

“I did, I told you I see you as an attractive woman, didn’t I?” He cleverly shot back, catching you off-guard. You were surprised with his chattiness in the first place, when has he ever even had a decent conversation with you? 

You huffed at his response, grinding your teeth as you made a break for your stairs—anything to get you away from this conversation. 

“Wait,” you suddenly heard him call from downstairs, pausing in the middle of the spiralling staircase. 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by telling you I… can hear.” He apologized, taking a deep breath. “I just never wanted to somehow interrupt you by making noise while leaving the house, and I have no choice but to listen if I stay, too. I’m a light sleeper.” 

You absorbed his words, suddenly feeling extremely inconsiderate. You didn’t know he was a light sleeper; you’d probably been interrupting his sleep for days now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I promise I’ll try to bring them home less or go over to theirs instead, or something.” 

“No.” Seokjin immediately raised his voice, enough that the knife even clattered from his hand. His sudden volume shocked you, meeting his worried eyes in the kitchen. “I’m sorry, just… I’d feel much better knowing you were home.” 

“But your sleep—” 

“Is insignificant compared to your safety, Y/N. I mean that—being in another man’s home late at night in the city is unsafe.” His tone sounded so sincere, you felt your heart suddenly speed up to a flutter at his use of your first name, your chest vibrating with an addicting warmth. 

“Okay,” you agreed, before cracking a chuckle. “But you’ll have to get used to hearing me more often; I’m kinda insatiable. Why don’t you invest in some noise-canceling headphones, or something?” 

Seokjin snorted  before grabbing his knife again, returning to his cutting. “I’ll think about it.” 

You tilted your head. “And why must you think about it, Chewy?” 

You couldn’t help but notice he bit his bottom lip, almost as though he were masking a smile—his voice was hypnotizing when he spoke. “Because I’m still a man… and I didn’t know you’d sound like that.” 

Perplexion coloured your features, intrigued by his confession. “What did you think I’d sound like, Mr. Statue?” 

Seokjin cracked that gorgeous smile and breathy laugh that made your knees weak, shaking his head. “Aren’t you late for school?” 

You slid your tongue over your teeth to suppress a chuckle, playfully rolling your eyes. “Ugh, you sound like a dad, is that a kink you’ve got, Daddy?” 

Seokjin feigned annoyance, biting back his smile. “Go upstairs, Miss Y/L/N.” 

You began ascending the stairs with a cheeky laugh, until a thought suddenly occurred to you. “Oh, Seokjin, could you please get some ibuprofen for me, please? You know, since I like it rough and all.” 

You didn’t even have time to see the small, crooked smile on Seokjin’s face before you vanished on the second floor. 

For whatever reason, Seokjin became somewhat… tolerable after that interaction. Dare you say fun. Your relationship began to slowly kindle for the next two years; the small banter, inside jokes, innuendos you both understood yet never spoke further about. 

He was supportive, too. He’s the one that kept you afloat when exam’s slammed themselves on you, facing the harsh reality of university. He’d offer his help to quiz you and ensure you were well taken care of, otherwise you would’ve neglected basic necessities altogether throughout your studies. 

The most memorable moment was the seminar you were tasked with compiling for your course’s final assignment. Not only were you cowering from speaking in front of an entire lecture hall, but also the numerous other professors and department heads special guests to the students’ presentations. 

These seminars not only comprised most of your grade, but put you on the map as a student worth writing any recommendation letters or references for, and you desperately needed those. None of your friends were in this class, and it felt extremely daunting speaking in front of complete strangers—Seokjin begged to differ. 

“You’ll be fine, Miss Y/L/N. You’re quite the speaker—I would know.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him for the indirect jab. “Shut up, this is different. So much of my grade rides on this and I have to have most of it memorized, I know I’m gonna jumble my words out of nerves.” 

Seokjin sighed, his eyes revealing sympathy. “You won’t, Miss Y/L/N. What you need is confidence and you’ve got plenty of that; if you’re confident, nobody will say anything.” 

You absorbed his words, knowing they were right, but your frazzled brain wasn’t computing them. You promised him you’d listen to his advice but mentioned that you’d be alone, and that’s what terrified you the most. The thought of not seeing a single familiar face in a crowd was horrifying. 

Seokjin attempted to say something, but you hurriedly bid him a farewell when you received a text from a friend, and took off for your school’s library. 

The big day came, and there you stood, staring at a myriad of unfamiliar faces, either bored out of their minds already or preparing themselves to tune out the second you opened your mouth. Your hands shook as you held your jot notes, breathing destabilizing as the tech guy set up the projector for your presentation. 

You attempted to calm down, inhaling deep breaths, counting to 10 and counting backwards, picturing everyone in the crowd naked; nothing helped the onset of an anxiety attack. 

Seconds from leaping off the deep end, your eyes caught the sight of the lecture hall door suddenly opening, focusing on the figure passing through—your heart soared at the sight. 

Seokjin respectfully bowed to everyone that turned their heads in his direction, finding himself a seat at the very back of the lecture hall. 

Tears almost welled in your eyes, feeling your muscles relax, your body losing its tension. The small smile he flashed at you was so reassuring, you could’ve hugged and kissed him right there. 

His presence felt comforting, so much so that you were able to calmly continue with your seminar. You mirrored Seokjin’s advice and lectured with confidence, able to fly through your presentation without a hitch, minus a couple stutters. 

He’d congratulated you after the seminar, and seeing him out of the house sparked something… fuzzy inside you. His attire was a change from the usual preppy clothes he wore at home—slacks and a form-fitting black sweater. You suggested you two should celebrate by going out for dinner, and even though he vehemently refused, your constant whining and pouting finally won him over, dragging him through the streets of Toronto towards one of your favourite places. 

You hated to admit that small, small moments like that made you like him, made yoru heart develop this pesky little soft spot for him— but they created unbelievable tensions.

It was exacerbated each time you read too much into Seokjin’s actions; his words, his small acts of kindness, his potentially flirtatious eyes that could easily just be his wittiness. 

It all dawned the ability to see Seokjin in a different light, and it frustrated you more than anything. 

You’d decided to bury whatever was rising inside of you, determined to squash the root before it flourished into something uncontrollable. Drowning him away with alcohol, parties, and your friends like a university student should was your choice of detox, happily enjoying those precious years even if he still remained stuck on you—literally. 

It never helped seeing Seokjin’s stunning face everyday throughout your undergrad, hearing his mellifluous laugh, feeling yourself intrigued by every word he spoke, considering how seldom he did. Noticing how he habitually pouted sometimes, had cute, puffy cheeks that could fill with food similar to a hamster, and blinked his bright, almond eyes more often than he should due to his contact lenses. 

You could feel your heart being moved by him.

As a result, the number of himbos that passed through your home increased, convincing yourself whatever you felt was surely just the intrigue of what if’s—and that routine continued even after you’d finally graduated university, settling for a mediocre job at the bank.

Sometimes, he’d disappear from your mind when you did that. Sometimes when all you could think about was the pleasure you felt being thrusted into, the knot tightening inside your stomach, your body vibrating with addicting ecstasy, your thoughts vanished—your heart felt at ease. 

Though it all ended the second you’d wake up the next morning, and would see the aftermath of your extracurricular activities on Seokjin’s face. What complicated everything even more was the hint of… negativity Seokjin emitted sometimes, almost like jealousy. The innuendos rather became something he avoided, his eyes wouldn’t meet yours during certain rehashes, and his distant, cold behaviour wasn’t exactly alien, but unusually forced. 

It felt awful, soul-crushing to see him harbour that hostility against you when you know his good side, know how sweet, supportive and compassionate he could be—he literally attended your graduation in place of your parents and let you cry into his chest with tears of happiness.

You hated that it made all your salacious thoughts rear their ugly head.

It’s what sent you to get absolutely trashed with your new co-workers tonight, only a month into your recent job. The topic of “man trouble” emerged and shit, did you spill your guts about your dilf-y butler, killing your liver shot after shot. 

You only made it home after being dropped off by someone. You’d stumbled your way to the elevator, nearly falling asleep against the wall. The doors dinged open to reveal your all too familiar, and yet foreign home. 

Right now it was spinning, and you swear there were two of everything. 

Your shoulder smacked into the wall next to you when you lost your balance, whining at the jolt of pain. You slid down the wall to sit, drunkenly locating the straps of your heels to tear them open. You uselessly rambled to yourself, unsure of what you were iterating, but it all seemed like things you kept deeply shut in your subconscious. 

It wasn’t long before you remembered you don’t live alone in this penthouse. “Seokjin!” 

The volume of your own voice pierced your brain, groaning at the ache. You stumbled into the main area, shooting weary looks around for your tall, dark and handsome butler. You cringed at the word; butler never suited Seokjin. Butler’s reminded you of old, white-haired men with the autonomy of an inanimate object. 

Seokjin wasn’t like that, he felt like… a friend, for lack of a better word. 

“Seokjin!!” You screeched louder, nearly crashing into a side table until you felt long, warm arms enveloping you from behind. 

“Woah, hey, hey.” Seokjin steadied you, the sound of his voice akin to hearing music. 

“Seokjin! Oh my god, you’re home, I waz thinkin’ you bailed or sumthin.” You slurred out, unable to even maintain your balance. 

“For Christ’s sake, Miss Y/L/N, did you have to get so drunk?” His voice was laced with scolding but more so concern, hands carefully gripping you upright.

You shot him a grumpy look, turning around to shove your finger into his chest. “Yes, I actually did.” 

Seokjin rolled his eyes. “You’re extremely lucky I do not tell your parents anything, even though I’m supposed to.” 

You giggled as you pressed your finger to Seokjin’s pillowy lips, hushing him. “Shhh, we’re gonna keep it that way.” Another fit of chuckles attacked you, too distracted by his beautiful face to remember how to stand. 

You faltered, collapsing into Seokjin’s warm chest—he caught you, delicately cradling your cheek. He checked your features, scanning each and every one before finding your eyes. They kept fluttering closed, your head lulling with its weight. He nestled his palm against your temple to catch it, and you winced with a groan, Seokjin sighing at the sight. “Does your head hurt?” 

You slowly nodded, and he deeply exhaled as he brushed his thumb across your cheek. “Let me take you upstairs, okay?” He secured his arms tighter around you, closely observing your face again, worry flooding his eyes.  

You felt his arms slip underneath your shoulder and knees, hoisting you up into his chest. You groaned at the sudden movement, cowering into his neck that smelled of an intoxicating, manly fragrance; cedarwood and eucalyptus. 

Your arms clung around his neck, impressed by his effortless strength. He carried you without a hitch up the stairs, nuzzling into him. His warmth felt enlightening, comforting, like you could remain wrapped in his arms for an eternity. Your body buzzed with incessant flickers of electricity, the mere proximity of him—his closeness left you contemplating his tempting touch. 

Seokjin slightly pushed open a door with his foot, using yours to hit the light switch. It wasn’t until he laid you upon fresh, soft sheets, did you crack your eyes open and confusion washed over you. 

“Seokjin? Where are we?” 

“In my room.” 

Even in your drunkenness, your insides jolted, startled. You’ve never set foot in Seokjin’s room; if anything, it never even occurred to you what Seokjin’s room would look like. Your room never failed to shout your personality to anyone who entered; its blue-ish, light gray walls allowed any colour in your room to pop, the aesthetic decorations, posters, shelves of books with a TV housing all kinds of consoles—it was effortlessly you. 

But Seokjin’s room… your heart hammered as you curiously peeked around. Barren walls, you expected that much, but his furniture intrigued you. They were all an earthy, walnut coloured wood, almost antique looking. The Persian rug didn’t slip your attention, neither the stunning mantle belonging to a cozy, stone fireplace—your eyes couldn’t help but pop. 

“Never been in my room before, have you?” His silky voice reminded you that he was here, and that you were currently laying drunk in his bed. 

He stood with his arms crossed, leaning against his dresser, bewitching eyes on you—you gulped. “I… um, no.” 

Seokjin bounced a brow. “Nice to know you never snooped.” 

You sent him a gentle smile before a sudden ache plagued your head, groaning. Your hand nestled against your temple to nurse the pain, nearly flattering backwards. 

“Hey,” Seokjin cooed, immediately joining your side. He replaced your hand with his own, carefully studying your features. “Did you eat anything tonight? Drink any water?” 

You faintly nodded, sleepily meeting his eyes—it’s extremely difficult not to stare at his flawless features. He appeared beautiful to you, with his full lips and milky smooth skin, the small portion of his chest peeking out from his dress shirt ruining you. 

Your chest expanded with bright colours and fuzzy sensations. Usually, you would’ve squashed the feeling, but for now, you were letting the alcohol sate your logical side, indulging in the desires of your heart. 

Seokjin maintained eye contact, noticing that he faintly switched between your irises and your lips—your heart continued to thud against your ribcage. 

“You need some sleep, alright?” Seokjin instructed, rubbing your upper arms. “C’mon, lay down.” You let him position your body on his bed, his gentle hands situating your head above his pillow—your eyes couldn’t leave his face for the life of you. 

“Why did you take me to your room?” You softly asked, innocently peering up at him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel uncomfortable in my room?” He immediately backtracked. “I didn’t want to invade your room for privacy concerns–” 

“It’s okay, Seokjin.” You pacified him, reaching out a hand to clasp his wrist. “I’m fine here.” 

He breathed a sigh of relief at that. He gripped the covers underneath your body and casted them over you, carefully tucking you in. He smoothed your hair once you were cozied up, feeling sleep attack your conscious. But you didn’t wish to sleep, you wanted to remain in this moment with Seokjin, no matter how small and quiet, just to admire him, adore him, to let your heart throb for him. 

Your admiration was interrupted when Seokjin spoke. “I’ll let you sleep, alright?” He rose from your side, turning on you towards the door. You felt a wave of panic, immediately grasping his hand. 

“Wait, why are you leaving?” You nearly cringed at your own voice; it sounded so frail. 

Seokjin whirled back around, his expression sympathetic. “You need sleep, Miss Y/L/N, I don’t want to disturb you.” 

“You could never disturb me…” You faintly whispered, features etched with sadness. Seokjin’s eyebrows twitched with confusion, until you grew annoyed, shooting up from your laid position. “Why are you trying so hard to leave? Do I bother you or something? Never had a drunk girl in your bed?” 

Seokjin was shocked at first, but his features melted into a laugh—his smile shot an arrow through your heart. “Even drunk, you’re still yourself, huh?” 

You scoffed, picking at the fuzzies on his comforter. “Do you really want to leave?” 

You didn’t watch his expression, until curiosity killed you. You glanced up to find him deep in thought, almost wrestling with his own mind, a civil war between his logic and his emotions, until he finally straightened up—his eyes revealed an undeniable truth. 

“No, I don’t.” 

You cracked a small smile, moving aside on his bed to suggest he occupy the space. Seokjin hesitated, but determination spread across his features, soon flashing you a kind smile. He slipped into the covers next to you, his long, broad body stretching out to settle into his side. He remained slightly seated as you slowly, steadily fit beside him, resting your head on his chest. 

He froze for half a second, before he softened, allowing himself to fix the covers over you and eventually hold you against him. You relaxed into his body, something about the warmth, the security that felt like no other. 

You’ve had your body pressed against a line of men, and yet, none of them ever made you feel this buzz you felt with Seokjin, this uncontrollable sensation of sparks flying inside you. You hiked up your knee to lay it over his leg, forgetting that it was bare in your dress. 

Seokjin didn’t freeze this time, rather began stroking your arm, soft and steady, like a rhythmic lullaby to help you sleep. 

“Why do you put up with me?” The question unexpectedly spilled out of you; the alcohol was causing sentimentality to overwhelm you, consumed by the feeling of being… cared for. You’ve seldom felt such a thing, not with your millionaire parents who rarely batted an eye in your direction, not by friends who desired nothing deeper than the connections your wealth offered, and certainly not by a man who preferred your body rather than you. 

Seokjin felt like the only one who cared, the only one who not only put up with your ridiculous behaviour, but knew how to nurse it, to nurse you. 

“Who says that I do?” He joked, and you breathed a laugh. 

“I’m serious, Seokjin.” 

You felt him smile, leaning back so that his head rested against the backboard. His fingertips affectionately floated across your skin, almost tugging you into dreamland. “I wouldn’t say it’s putting up with you, it’s… attempting to understand you, Miss Y/L/N.” 

“Understand me?” 

“Nobody’s ever born the way they are,” you felt the soothing vibration of his chest as he spoke, the soft drumming of his heart, melting into him. “You are this way for a reason, Miss Y/L/N, just as I’m this way for a reason. And with the time I’ve spent with you, I’ve come to see your behaviour isn’t something you were born with.” 

His words surprised you, letting your finger draw a useless pattern over his dress shirt. “Then what is it?” 

He sighed, though without tire or disappointment, rather as a breather, as time to collect his thoughts before he spilled them. “I apologize for my words if they offend you; I do not mean to psychoanalyze your character, but your behaviour to me is a way for people to see you, Miss Y/L/N, to care for you.” 

You wet your lips, thoroughly intrigued by his thoughts. 

“And I would like you to know that I see you. Not only because I’m obligated to, but because there’s a part of me… that would like to take care of you. A part of me that desires to.” 

Your eyes suddenly pricked with tears, swallowing away your pesky emotions. His words shouldn’t have hit you so hard, and yet, here you were, feeling every pump of blood within your system, feeling every beat of your heart, every breath you took; because Seokjin had just revived a part of yourself that you destroyed a very, very long time ago. 

The part of you that loved. 

“Sometimes… it’s like you’re the only person I have, Seokjin.” Your voice quavered, but you spoke anyway, wearing your heart on your sleeve, cowering into him. “Like you’re the only one who cares.” 

“I doubt that, Miss Y/L/N.” 

“No, it’s true,” You argued, sniffling. “You’re the only person I have… the only person who cares.” A wave of deeply-rooted emotions attacked you, using every ounce of your strength to not dissolve into tears. Seokjin noticed, anyway, comfortingly squeezing your body. 

He remained silent, the kind that allowed you both to absorb the sincerity of each other’s words, to appreciate the other’s presence, and you were okay with that—you were okay with being just like this with him. 

Sleep eventually overruled your system, eyelids fluttering shut every few seconds. It wasn’t until your breathing steadied, your tears became dormant and your mind stopped storming did you positively fall asleep, leaving the waking world behind. 

Seokjin faintly smiled as he smoothed some hair from your face, whispering quietly. “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

You smiled thinking what a dream it was, to hear him sweetly coo your first name.

Life with Seokjin became… less dull after that. For once, he would agree to watch movies with you, willingly clicked away at a PS5 controller with you when you begged enough, and most importantly, finally allowed you to probe him with personal questions. 

“I’ve been in the service business ever since I was 14. I started at your aunt and uncles’ residence, though I believe we didn’t meet since you rarely visited them.” 

“Yeah, because I hate them. All they ever did was ask me about my future and getting married; I was only a kid.” 

Seokjin had laughed at that, cracking a gorgeous smile as he took a sip of his beer, elbows glued to his knees. “I started working for your parents when I was your age; 22. You were abroad at the time.” 

You smiled bitterly. “Ah yes, the infamous British high school experience where my parents thought they could whip me into business shape.” 

“I worked for them those entire 4 years until, of course, they told me about your return. I honestly believed they would send my mother to take care of you, so I was surprised when they chose me.” 

You titled your head side-to-side. “They knew I’d probably slip past a sweet lady like your mom all the time. They hired you, a man older than me but not a baby-boomer to most likely bond with me, to make me genuinely want to obey, or whatever.” 

Seokjin quirked a brow at you, deeply holding your gaze as he leaned in next to you on the couch. You two were currently in the middle of a Conjuring series marathon, failing to pay attention to Ed and Lorraine Warren’s lovey-dovey scene on the TV.

You were dressed in shorts and an over-sized Assassin’s Creed t-shirt, while Seokjin appeared impeccable beside you; beige dress pants and a white collared shirt poking out from a form-fitting, navy blue sweater—it was hard to focus on the lame movie. 

Seokjin’s amused eyes and playful tone drew your attention to him. “You’re quite intelligent, did you know that?” 

“Pft,” you snorted. “my grades don’t exactly say so.” 

“Not your grades, I meant that you’re intelligent with people. You’re incredibly perceptive and understand how people work, that’s an amazing trait to have in the business world.” 

His compliment shocked you, rendering you speechless. A series of gargled sounds escaped you as you searched for something to say, clearing your throat. “Focus on the movie, will you?” 

Seokjin snorted, reclining on the couch. “Oh, I’m focusing. Though I believe you shouldn’t focus too much, I can tell you’re scared.” 

“Scared? Me? You’re stretching, Mr. Statue.” 

“More like telling the truth, Miss Y/L/N.” 

“You know I’ve already seen these movies, right?” You pointed at the screen. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.” 

“You never watch them alone, is that why you wanted to watch these movies with me? Because you’re afraid?” 

“Wh-what?!” You screeched. “I totally didn’t—holy shit!” Your entire body jolted when a jumpscare appears on screen, cowering into Seokjin’s frame next to you as his chest rumbled with hearty laughs. 

It was easy like that with Seokjin, so incredibly easy. From baking with him, to late-night marathons all the way down to choosing what dresses you wore for night outs—it was all so strangely domestic, like you were already dating. 

But you weren’t, because nobody ever spoke of it. You continued to feel that undeniable spark with him, experienced those all-consuming moments when his touch felt electric, where your stares lingered for too long or his words suggested more than his simple care for you. 

You’re not stupid, however, Seokjin would never return whatever you were feeling. He was 8 years older than you, someone who clearly lived more life than you have, someone probably on the lookout for a wife to start a family with rather than some one-time fling or overrated relationship—he wants nothing to do with you.

Seokjin only acts the way he does because he has to, not because his heart beats for you. 

The incessant denial is what led you to still seek other men, flirting with them until Seokjin vanished from your brain, kissing them until your thoughts about him would fade, touching them in bed until you forgot the desire for whoever was thrusting into you to be him. 

Yes, he invaded your mind in seriously scandalous ways. You ground your teeth every time your horniness attacked you, as though you were disrespecting him, like it was wrong to see him that way. But the facts were simple; he was a man, and you were a woman, and absolutely nothing stopped you from wanting every single piece of him. 

It’s what prompted you to turn over in bed this morning, groaning when you found last night’s leftover still asleep in your bed. You prodded the fairly bulky man from work, growing angry when he didn’t wake. You shook him harder until he finally fluttered his eyes open, rudely telling him to ditch or else you’d inform his work best friend, who has a not-so-secret crush on you, that he’d slept with you. 

Panicking at the mention, the brawny teller scrambled his way to your foyer, waving him a saccharine sweet goodbye before slamming your front door on him. You stretched out your achy muscles as you meandered to the kitchen, kissing your teeth at the ache between your legs—you should remember that a gmy guy’s version of “rough” is different. 

You plopped down by the island as you rubbed an eye, sighing when your sex, only shielded by a robe, pressed into the cushion underneath. Seokjin was bustling about in the kitchen, surprised he didn’t greet you. 

“Hey, good morning.” 

You were met by Seokjin’s back, who didn’t even bother to turn around. “Morning.” 

His voice sounded constricted, cold—you furrowed your brows. “Rough night, or something? I had a rough one too, if you know what I mean.” You sprinkled some teasing into your words.  

“Yeah… couldn’t exactly sleep.” He rigidly replied, chopping his onions quite aggressively. You swear the sudden animosity from him scared you, confused by his words… until your synapses decided to spark. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, was I loud last night?” 

Seokjin unexpectedly stopped chopping, clattering the knife on the counter. “Yes, you were loud… very loud.” 

He sounded as though he were grinding his teeth, and you became concerned, unable to discern what his problem was. “Hey, I’m really sorry, Seokjin. I didn’t mean to affect your sleep. Why don’t you take a nap? I can make breakfast.” You propped off the kitchen stool to join him, reaching out for the cutlery until he snatched his hands away. 

“No, just sit by the island—this is my job.” 

His snippy attitude actually made you scoff, even more so his angry eyes. “Seokjin, I’ve already said sorry, I’m trying to make it better by suggesting you get some rest. I can take it from here.” 

You attempt to nab his knife again, only for Seokjin to slam it against the counter, his features contorting with irritation. “Didn’t you tell me you’d be staying over at other guys’ houses from now on? Why did you bring someone over last night?” 

“What?” You questioned haughtily. “You’re the one who didn’t want me staying at random guys’ houses. And maybe because I can do whatever I want?” You retaliated, bitterly exhaling at his tone. “Are you forgetting whose house this is?” 

“And are you forgetting what you promised me?” 

You pressed your lips together with annoyance, narrowing your eyes at him. “Why are you so mad? Look, I get it, everyone needs their sleep and—” 

“It’s not about my fucking sleep, Y/N.” 

Your eyes widened, displaced by Seokjin’s suddenly unprofessional manner. He’s never sworn at you, let alone used your first name. His tone felt cutthroat and angry, like he could barely stand being in the same room as you—your heart sank in your chest considering such a thing. 

The look on your face pushed Seokjin to recognize his mistake, sighing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be harsh.” 

You shook your head with perplexion. “What is it then, Seokjin?” 

“What’s what?” 

“If it’s not about your sleep, what is it, then? Why are you talking to me as if you can’t stand me?” 

Seokjin’s jaw flexed, his fist curling up against the kitchen counter. “It’s about your promise, Miss Y/L/N. You promised we’d make this work, that we’d learn to live with each other and that meant compromise. Why would you go back on that?” 

Your face could not have appeared more puzzled. “So this is about my word? It was one night, Seokjin, and it’s not like I’ve been constantly bringing guy’s home like I used to before—I’ve virtually stopped.” 

“One night where you decided to be really loud with some strange man.” 

“So what?” You threw up your arms, fed up by his attitude. “So what if I was? Not like it’s anything new, and not my fault he fucked me that good.” 

Seokjin stood there, fuming, rolling his tongue inside his cheek. He bitterly scoffed before fixing up the cutlery he brought out, and reaching behind himself to untie his apron’s knot. His actions confused you, worried. 

“Seokjin, what are you–” 

“I’m going to take a nap.” He vexedly announced before handing you the apron. 

You could only replay that entire interaction while holding the cotton cloth as he disappeared up the stairs, wondering what the fuck had just transpired. 

It was late night now, your penthouse only illuminated by the warm, soft pot lights in your ceiling. You watched Seokjin from the second-floor, incessantly tapping your stair railing, nibbling your lip. Conjuring what the fuck to do has stormed your mind for hours now, considering whether you should entertain the petty route, or pounce on him like an angry tigress. 

Your impulsiveness finally won over, deciding to deal with this the upfront way. 

You marched down the stairs to where Seokjin was fluffing up the pillows on the couch, folding your arms over your camisole-cladded chest—you immediately adopted an assertive tone. “We need to talk.” 

“Talk about what?” He breezily answered, pissing you off even more. 

“There is no way in hell you get to act oblivious.” You gritted through your teeth. “You caused an entire fucking scene this morning and expected me to take that sitting down?” 

Seokjin swiftly ignored your anger, continuing on with his task. “I didn’t expect you to forget, but I at least thought you’d respect me enough to give me space.” 

“And why exactly do you need space? What in God’s name even happened that you can barely look me in the eye anymore?” You raised your voice, closing in on him. 

Seokjin lifted his gaze and connected his cool, aloof eyes with you, smiling condescendingly. “There, I just looked you in the eye.” 

You grunted with frustration, stomping over to completely disregard his personal bubble. “You don’t get to act that way when I don’t even know what I did, what is wrong with you?” 

“I already told you what’s wrong,” Seokjin argued. “I told you you broke your promise.” 

“And why is that so important to you? We already get along, Seokjin, we’ve already made things work and improved our relationship, how am I breaking any promise?” 

“Because you brought someone over,” he answered, his voice constrained with… hurt? Anger? Disappointment? It was hard to decipher. “You said you wouldn’t.” 

“Alright, I get it. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I did, but last night my place was a mere two minutes away whereas his was half an hour away, I didn’t have a choice.” You explained yourself, only for Seokjin to crudely laugh. 

“You could’ve just not slept with him at all.” 

That’s when fury rose inside you, bubbling to the surface to break out with rage. “Is that what this is about? Me sleeping with somebody? Are you channeling some ancient fucking ideology about my body and who I sleep with?” 

Seokjin’s face immediately twisted with disgust. “No, Y/N, I would never do that.” He adamantly denied you. “It’s something else.” 

“What else could it be?” You pressed him, consumed by the desire to simply know. Seokjin has always been such a closed book, and you were dying to at least wedge open a chapter. “What else could be so horrible that you’re treating me like this?” 

Seokjin regarded your face, every feature, flickering across the apples of your cheek, to the irises of your emotional eyes, down to the plush of your lips, until he exhaled, swallowing thickly. “Nothing.” 

He turned to abandon you, but you grasped his bicep, denying him the opportunity—you sharpened your tone when you spoke. “No, you don’t get to walk away from this conversation, stop being a coward and answer me.” 

He swiveled around and narrowed his eyes into disapproving slits. “This isn’t about me being a coward, Y/N. This is about me wanting to protect what we’ve already built; I won’t do anything to jeopardize that.” 

“Wh–” You could barely understand him, struggling to even form a question. “What do you mean? Is this–is this about me being loud, or something? That I violated the rules we agreed upon?” 

“No, it isn’t about the rules anymore.” He clearly controlled his temper, his composed though shaky voice evident of that.

“Then what, Seokjin? If it’s not the rules then what is it? What has you so worked up you’re turning into some spineless dick with the energy of a rejected quarterback on the football team–” 

“It’s not about you being loud, Y/N, it’s about how much I wish I was the one making you loud!” 

The world stopped, air became a luxury and your heart refused to beat. You ceased function, tongue absolutely tied—there was no way you were hearing this. “What…” 

“I know, I know what you’re thinking. That I’m disgusting, that I’m some abhorring, selfish, salacious man who’s thinking about his needs and ego.” Seokjin spoke of himself with such aversion, it shocked you. “And you’re not wrong to think that, Y/N, you’re not. You can be disgusted, you can feel uncomfortable or hate me or even tell your parents and have me horribly fired, but that’s the reason, Y/N. That’s the fucking reason.” 

Words still failed you, attempting to absorb every word that left his mouth. 

“I’m disgusted by myself, but I can’t help that I’m a man who finds you attractive, okay?” He further explained, softly and with meaning. “And it’s not just on the outside, but the inside, too. The reason I’m so angry isn’t because you sleep with other men, I’m angry at myself for the jealousy I feel when you do.” 

Your mind kept racing, clutching your camisole where your heart finally restarted underneath, feeling your world shake beneath your feet. His words were damning, life-changing, exhilarating. 

“I shouldn’t feel that way; you’re not mine, you don’t belong to me. You’re someone’s daughter I was meant to take care of, and here I am having indecent thoughts every time I hear you moan, becoming angry when you scream another man’s name.” He gripped his fists tightly shut, visibly drowning in his own self-loathing. “Every time, I couldn’t help but think if those strangers were taking care of you, if they ever could like I would.” Seokjin struggled to form his next sentence, but spit it out anyway, quietly. “If they could ever care about you like I do.” 

Seokjin lifted his gaze, finally connecting his eyes with your shocked ones, painfully sighing when he did. “I knew it, you’re disgusted by me.” He shook his head with loathing, swallowing so harshly you physically saw his Adam’s apple bob. “I’m going to go to bed—forget I said anything.” He announced finitely, beginning to vacate the entertainment area with ashamed haste. 

Finally, your muscles decided to unfreeze, panicking when he went off on his way. “Seokjin, wait.” You grappled onto his hand, making him face you. You peered into his deep, coffee brown eyes, admiring their almond shape. You bit your lip settling your sight on his, winded to think he’s ever had the same thoughts as you—that he saw you for the woman you were, not someone to merely take care of. 

You considered what words to say, reaching out to cup his cheeks in your hands, until Seokjin stopped you, his face nearly pale with realization. “No… you’ve had those thoughts too, haven't you?” 

You nodded, so swept up in him you couldn’t function properly—Seokjin’s features became etched with panic in that moment. “No… no no no. You can’t feel that way, Y/N. You shouldn’t, if your parents ever found out they would never let—” 

“Who cares about my parents, Seokjin? Fuck them.” You declared, softly cradling his face in your palms. Seokjin remained adamant, however, removing them. 

“You belong with someone of your status, Y/N. Not somebody like me.” Seokjin stressed. “I’ve known your parents for four years, I’m meant to serve them for however long the rest of my life will be; I can’t make a move on their daughter, you have to understand.” 

“And who says they need to know?” You questioned, clasping your fingers around his tightly. “This is about you and me, Seokjin, there’s no need to care about what others think.” 

“You parents matter, Y/N.” He emphasized. “I’ve already kept them in the dark about your time in university, if they find even a fraction of that out, they’ll instantly fire me and anyone in my family. But if they found out I—I even tried to begin something with you, I don’t know what they’d do.”

“Then I won’t let them, Seokjin.” You sincerely promised, decreasing the space between you two, clasping his hands with meaning. “I won’t let them do anything bad to you.” 

Seokjin shook his head, releasing your hands to force himself away from you. “This is a mistake, YN. All of it.” He shut everything out. “I shouldn’t have said anything, we can’t do anything.” 

You became angry with him, scoffing—how could you two have aired everything out, and yet he still denied you? “How can you let them control your life, Seokjin? If you want me, then you take me, don’t think about them or everyone else, think about yourself for once. Stop serving everyone but yourself.” 

“I can’t do that, and you know it.” He retorted, his face gravely stressed. “I’m meant to serve others, that’s how it works.” 

“Then serve me, Seokjin.” You stopped him from walking away, pressing your hands against his broad chest, bringing your lips inches from his. Seokjin sucked in a breath, flickering between your tempting lips and pleading eyes—you sweetened your tone to reach him. “Serve me by letting me have you, Seokjin, by letting us happen.” 

Seokjin appeared to strain, swallowing. He searched your eyes deeply, practically excavating your soul to determine your sincerity. But it was with adoration he scanned your features, gently wetting his lips before whispering, sad and quiet. “I can’t.” 

Dejection etched into your features, disappointed in him. “So what, you’ll let other guys fuck me? Hear them do it while you try to sleep just down the hall? Is that what you want?” 

He winced, but remained silent, grinding his teeth together, his jaw flexing as he did—his silence was deafening yet again, sliding your hands down to clutch his biceps.

“Wow, so you’ll stick to some dumb sense of honour rather than do something for yourself for once? Repeatedly hurt yourself by listening to me moan anyone’s name other than your own?” You bitterly provoked him.

Again, he remained silent, peering away from you—you exhaled with sheer anger. “Fine.” You finalized, stepping away from him with moisture flooding your eyes. “I’ll bring whoever I want home, then. Are you okay with that?” 

Seokjin flexed his jaw, his features and stiff aura emitting disapproval, though he said nothing. 

Your anger only grew. “I’ll bring half the fucking city here if I want to, let whatever stranger I find good enough to bang me.” Nothing you said was true, but you were attempting to provoke him, watching it affect him, but he practiced an annoyingly incredible sense of self-control.

You needed to see him snap.

“What, Seokjin, are you afraid you won’t be able to fuck me right?” You vulgarly accused him. “Afraid I’ll never be as loud for you as I am for them?” Finally, you watched his jaw tick and his hands curl into fists—you were clearly tapping a nerve, ready to smash it right on. 

“Are you disappointing or something? A virgin?” You became bitchier, dryly laughing through your misery. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you? Too honourable to take away a woman’s virtue?” 

Seokjin twitched, grinding his teeth. “I’m not a virgin.” 

“So what, out of practice? Out of commission? We don’t need to keep secrets, Jinnie.” You spoke with a saccharine sweet tone, approaching him to skim a finger across his chest, seductively watching yourself do so. “Are you bad at sex? Don’t know where the clit is?” 

Your taunting seemed to be working, but he was an iron-clad wall defneded against all attacks, and your weapon was made of measly wood—your tongue immediately sharpened. “Are you not well-endowed or something? Because I promise you, baby, it’s about how you rock the boat, not the size of it.” 

Seokjin’s breathing was clearly destabilizing, his eyes swirling with carnal energy, though he maintained himself, simply grinding his teeth. Your smile brightened, splaying your hand across his impeccable jaw. “This is too bad, Seokjin, because you’re one of the daddiest men I’ve ever met. It’s okay if you’re disappointing or don’t know what you’re doing, I’d really love to see what you’ve got no matter how bad—” 

And suddenly, you couldn’t speak—your arms were ensnared by eager hands and your mouth attacked by a voracious kiss. Seokjin’s hand curled into your hair as the other slithered around your waist, greedily pressing you into him, holding you as though you were the one meal he had been denying himself. 

It took you half a second to feel him infiltrate every vein in your body, before reciprocating his kiss, burying your fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck to kiss him just as hard. His hand slipped down to cradle your jaw, crushing your lips against his so powerfully, you were certain he could consume every inch of you. 

You groaned when his tongue swiped your bottom lip, breaking away to search his eyes. They were blown out, hungry, insatiable—your core pulsed with need so urgent, you crashed your mouth onto his again. 

Seokjin’s strength suddenly came into play, his tongue plunging inside your mouth to taste you. You breathed him in, felt your body buzz when you heard him moan for the first time, and each nerve ending within you exploded. 

Your hands glided down his neck, urgently gripping the collar of his shirt. You tugged him onto your lips harshly, impossibly close to him. The taste of him was euphoric, relishing in the luxurious feel of his luscious lips, licking and biting them as you pleased. 

It wasn’t long before your sex was crying out; you needed to move this elsewhere. 

You carefully pulled Seokjin along with you, stepping backwards until you felt the couch hit the back of your knees, and you smirked into the kiss. Spinning around, you shoved Seokjin onto the couch, watching him falter back. You immediately climbed his tempting lap, arms entangling around his neck to shamelessly collide your lips once again.

Your tongues swirled and danced around each other, making out with no care in the world. His hands ceaselessly roamed your back as though it were a maze, moaning when your hips instinctively grinded over his crotch. You indulged in the delicious control, finally able to ravish Seokjin after the countless times you’d fantasized about him. 

Disconnecting your lips to skim them down his impeccable jaw, you reached his thick neck. Slowly, you left a trail of hot kisses down his throat, occasionally sucking where you desired. You wanted to mark him and see the results the next day, wanted to claim him even if you couldn’t have him—it felt exhilarating knowing that. 

Seokjin’s fingers weaved through your hair, moaning as you marked him for your own, but it wasn’t until you ensnared his wrists and forced them back, did he suddenly snap. Within a second, it was your wrists that were locked—he elevated his hips and shoved you down into the couch cushions, now holding your hands hostage above your head, his body hovering over yours. 

“No.” He demanded with such vehemence, you felt a new spark of arousal surge through you. “No touching, no controlling.” 

“But, I–” 

“No.” He commanded harsher, his grip strong enough that you actually believed you were leaking over the couch. “You believe I serve other people all the time? Don’t you? That I never choose myself, because I’m not capable of satisfying you?” 

His tone was incredibly hot, sharpened with such a sexy edge you couldn’t help but stutter. “I-I…” 

“Let’s change things up, Y/N.” He declared, sliding his fingers to intertwine with yours, and locking them higher above you, sighing out when he did. “Tonight, I don’t serve you—you serve me.” 

You gulped, entirely consumed by the alpha male energy he emanated. Your veins pumped with adrenaline—he was finally taking what he wanted, and that meant taking you. 

“Take what you want, Seokjin.” You cooed, letting your submissive energy loose. You leaned up to whisper against his lips, caressing his chiseled jawbone with an utterly bewitching breath. “Take me, and leave nothing behind.” 

You reached out your tongue and licked his lips, watching the carnality swirl in his irises. His pupils dilated, and you knew you were a goner—you internally smiled brighter than the sun. 

Seokjin collided his lips with yours, kissing you so deeply, so passionately, you swear you almost lost air. He broke away to eye you, consumed by irrevocable lust. 

“My bedroom.” He growled, or something akin to that; this Seokjin was without his reins, animalistic, and you were going to savour every last minute of it. 

You clung to him like a koala as he carried you up the steps, making out with him, rutting yourself against his masculine body all you could, so attractively powerful and alluring. Of course, nothing was wrong with 22 year-old male bodies, but something about a grown man, something about the rugged sexiness of this one, 30 year-old man is what made your pussy pulse like it possessed its own heart beat. 

He practically kicked open the door to his bedroom, letting your feet touch the ground and walking you inside until your back collided with one of his walls. Your hands immediately reached out to grasp something, anything, nestling your palms against the cold paint of the wall and his dresser to manage the hormones pumping through you. 

Seokjin’s hot breath fanned across your skin as he devoured you, burying his face into your neck to leave enrapturing love bites. Erotic sighs left your mouth as he worked over your neck, throwing your head back as his hands skimmed down your body, touching everywhere. 

You chuckled, hands mussing up his sexy hair as you breathily sighed. “Seems like…you’ve been dying to do this.” 

“Like you haven’t.” He ruggedly replied, dragging his tongue across your collarbone—you exploded with a pleasurable moan. 

“Looks like… I finally got under your skin.” You moaned out between breaths, sparks of arousal lighting up your burning center. “Thought honour mattered more to you.” 

Seokjin darkly laughed into your neck, and suddenly thrust his hips forward—you gasped as his hardening member collided with your core, digging your nails into his shoulders. “What matters more to me now is putting an uncontrollable brat like you in her place, Y/N.” 

He breathed your name with such a low, husky timbre, you nearly whimpered with pleasure. “Then shut me up and take me, Seokjin.” 

He didn’t need to be told twice, sending you a crooked smile before attacking your lips once again. Your hands clambered all over his shirt, tearing open the pesky buttons. 

Seokjin collected your body in his arms before splaying you over his bed sheets, something sinful overwhelming him. The bed turned him into a different man, clasping your wrists and ensnaring them above you harder this time, voracious with his kiss. 

He left your mouth to envelop your neck again, suckling deep, almost indigo-coloured hickeys all over you. His teeth grazed you every so often, exclaiming with the slightest amount of pain, but it melted into pleasure, the kind that came from knowing that he wanted you that badly, wanted to consume every part of you. 

“Do you know… how much…” Seokjin began speaking, his breaths so harsh and clipped, his sentences were incomplete. “Do you know how much… I hated knowing you were with another man?” 

You moaned upon hearing his husky, vicious timbre, dragging his tongue across the love bites blossoming upon your neck. 

“Do you know how many nights I spent… listening to you?” He breathed, kissing down your collarbone until he reached your sternum, causing your nipples to automatically perk up, nibbling your lip to maintain your composure. 

“Seokjin…” 

“How many times I touched myself… wishing it were you instead?” 

You sighed out erotically when he tore open your robe, revealing your bare breasts to him. His lips immediately tightened around a nipple and you squirmed, fighting against his hold of your hands, but he was much stronger—exhilarating. 

“You touched yourself to the thought of me?” You groaned, met by Seokjin releasing your nipple to lick a long, indulgent stripe across it—your entire body quaked.

“Yes, I did. Multiple times.” 

His confession dawned your own, moaning wantonly. “I…I touched myself to the thought of you more times than I can count.” 

You felt his lips pull into a smile against your skin, sighing when he glided his tongue across your chest to entertain your other boob. “So that means you have moaned for me, doesn’t it?” 

His wit made you scoff with pride, until his teeth suddenly closed around your nipple, whimpering with undeterred pleasure. He sends you the most scheming, and yet, most charming smile you’ve ever seen, finding your amused eyes with his own. “We’ll just have to make sure you’re louder this time.” 

Your sex leaked incessant cum once Seokjin kissed down your midriff, pressing your hands into the sheets as your back arched off the bed, squirming with pleasure. He kissed down, down, down until he dangerously closed in on your sex—your hips immediately bucked into his face. 

“Seokjin…” You moaned, fighting his hands to bury yours into his hair, but his strength was unmatched. 

He pinned you down as he kissed above your center, until his lips finally pecked your pussy folds through your soaked underwear. You flinched, gasping as the pressure ignited something insatiable inside you. He continued to kiss you through your underwear, even casting out his tongue to lick you through the dampened cloth—your gasps were euphoric. 

“So delicious.” He praised, enveloping the wet fabric in his mouth again, ensuring he licked your sex in the process—you bucked into his face again. 

“Seokjin-!” 

“I know, you should be serving me, but I couldn’t help but want a taste.” He pressed one last, long kiss to your core before gliding a hand down your body, cupping the junction of your waist. Your freed hand immediately grappled his dark locks of hair, moaning pornographically as Seokjin’s mouth began to work wonders between your legs. 

You gasped as he bit your underwear to move it aside, and pressed his wet, slippery tongue against your quivering folds. Your leg quickly locked him in place, your heel resting against his back as your thighs held his head captive, but Seokjin didn’t seem to care. 

He moaned once he gained a taste of you, eliciting more of your cum to coat his tongue. He sensually ate you out like that, elevating your hips for him to bury himself deeper into you, dragging his tongue over your pulsing clit. 

Your hips shamelessly rode him, squeezing his hand in yours as otherworldly moans escaped you—no man has ever eaten you out like this. 

“Seokjin–” You were cut off by your own moan when the tip of his tongue applied pressure to your clit, watching colours explode in your vision. This time you really crushed his head between your thighs, and he only moaned with pleasure, driving you insane. 

His plump lips made a ‘pop’ as he released your sex, rising up to steal your lips for a zealous kiss. You licked his lips clean of your taste, moaned as his hands handled your body as though it were meant to fit in his grasp. 

He broke away to breathe, pressing your foreheads together. “I could pleasure you for an eternity, but we’re changing things up tonight, aren’t we?” 

A coy smile spread across your face, tugging him into your arms to consume his delicious lips. Seokjin moaned as his body immediately fit into yours, tongue ravaging the inside of your mouth. 

Another devouring kiss later, Seokjin turned onto his side so his back landed into the sheets, your figure now on top of him. You utilized the opportunity to drink him in, hands molding to his every muscle, memorizing the soft sensation of his impeccable skin, skimming your fingers over his tempting happy trail. 

Seokjin suddenly grabbed your hands, tugging you down so that your faces hovered just by each other. “You feel amazing, Y/N, really amazing. But I need something else.” He whispered, weaving his fingers through your hair until he gently pulled it. “Suck me off, right here, right now.” 

His demanding tone dampened your core, pussy burning brighter than the sun. You didn’t need to be told twice, something inside you was adamant that Seokjin was certainly well-endowed—his personality screamed big dick energy. 

And you weren’t wrong. 

Once you’d trailed hot kisses down his body until you unearthed his semi-hard length, your mouth watered at the delicious sight of him. He was thick and girthy, sinfully long, and with a leaking, pulsing tip crying for attention—you couldn’t help but pounce. 

You moaned as your tastebuds were hit with the taste of his pre-cum—he tasted delicious unlike many of your other partners. He was addicting, motivating you to teasingly drag your tongue across his cock just to coax more cum out of him, relishing the sounds of his deep, deep groans, his hand tightening in your hair to convey his need. 

“Y/N…” he breathily moaned, causing your body to jolt with arousal. 

“Yes, Seokjin?” You coquettishly answered, slowly, purposefully licking a lengthy stripe up the underside of his dick, finally swirling it around his red tip—he choked out a groan. 

“If you don’t stop… I’ll ravage your pretty face, sweetheart.” 

The term of endearment softened you, even more so his sweet, charming eyes. His hand instead petted your hair, as though he whole-heartedly adored you, and granting him his wish suddenly became your number one priority. 

Steadily, you sank Seokjin into your mouth, inserting inch by inch until you gagged around him, tears automatically pricking your eyes. He painfully groaned once you did; clearly he’d waited far too long for this. Your pride swelled, and you drew him out, only to hollow your cheeks and suck him back in. 

Seokjin erupted with such a pleasurable moan, you repeated your actions, faster, harder, deeper until your pace caused you to slobber all over him. His tip smashed against the back of your throat, moaning just so the vibrations could drive him off the edge. 

His hips naturally bucked into your face, shoving your head down until he was completely nestled inside your spongey cheeks, high off the euphoric sensation. 

“Y/N… you have no clue…” He struggled to speak. “How amazing you are.” 

You smiled, daring to swallow around him just to gain another one of his beautiful moans. 

“My god, you’re a Goddess—you’re too good to me.” Seokjin incessantly praised you, fuelling you to increase your speed, to plunge him deeper, to supply eons worth of pleasure until he was a complete mess underneath you. 

He hissed ceaselessly, grappling your hair with uncontrollable lust. “Y/N, sweetheart, you feel incredible–ah fuck.” His own groan broke him off, his sounds heightening in pitch and pace as he neared his release, as his cock powerfully throbbed inside you. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’ll cum in your mouth, you have to stop.” Seokjin groaned out, crushing his bed frame in his hand above him as the other ensnared your locks. 

You ignored him, simply plastering a kittenish grin on your face before pumping him in and out of your mouth again, tirelessly gliding your tongue over his pulsing meat as he growled like madman. And when he was nearly convulsing with arousal, you shoved him so far down your throat, you choked wildly around him—a throaty, needy sound escaped him immediately.

“Fuck, Y/N… oh my fucking god.” 

You pulled out once tears cascaded down your cheek, swallowing to aid your battered throat. “Since when… did you swear so much, Mr. Righteous?” 

Seokjin scoffed without malice, eyeing you with hunger. “Since I decided to finally take what I’ve always wanted.” 

His words surged something profound inside you, both your heart and pussy beating erratically. Your eyes connected for a small, intense window of time, before Seokjin pulled you up for an electrifying kiss. You yelped as he switched positions with you, your back now sinking into the sheets beneath, while his massive body moved over yours, passionately kissing and biting your lips. 

He cradled your face as he devoured you, dipping his hips lower to grind them against you, eliciting your fucked out moans. You ached for more, squirming underneath him like a pathetic whore. 

“Seokjin.” Your moan was so needy, so delicately feminine something snapped inside the usually composed man. He bit your lower lip until he grabbed the lapels of his shirt, peeling back the annoying clothing to reveal his gorgeous body. 

Your eyes automatically worshipped him, hands roaming his broad, sturdy shoulders and gigantic chest. His hands snatched the robe on your body and quickly removed it, tossing away the compromising item. Your naked body laid ready in his sheets, hungry eyes demanding he plunge himself inside you this instant. 

Seokjin didn’t waste a second, unbuttoning his pants to eventually tug them down, but his concerned expression worried you, palms cupping his cheeks. 

“What’s wrong, Seokjin?” 

“Are you okay with this?” He sincerely asked, searching your every feature to discern any sort of discomfort. “I don’t have protection.”

You softened, heart melting into mush. “It’s okay, Seokjin, I really am—I’m on the pill anyway.”

“But I should still wear protection, Y/N. It’s not just about contraception.” He stated seriously, curling your hair behind your ear. “I just want to be safe with you.”

His concern dealt a lethal blow to your chest, filled with nothing but adoration for him. “It’s alright; I trust you, Seokjin, I trust you.”

“You can say no.” He assured you, his pretty fingers brushing the apple of your cheek. “If this is how far you want to go, it’s okay.” 

Something fiery and passionate overwhelmed you, reaching up to kiss him admirably, with affection to last a lifetime. “There’s nothing that can make me say no right now—I want you, I want you now.” 

Seokjin cracked a gorgeous smile before finally tugging off his pants and boxers entirely, leaving him completely naked above you. His barren body ignite your bones, ready to feel him glide inside you, to become lost in the pleasure he’d provide. 

Seokjin kissed you before his hand curled around his shaft, gently pumping his cock, while the other clutched the headboard of his bed above you—you bit your lip watching him, eager to feel him already. Your hands dug into his hips waiting for him, itching for him like an addict. 

He cutely chuckled at your keenness, pecking a kiss to your nose. “You’re incredibly adorable when you’re insatiable, did you know that?” 

“What can I say,” you nonchalantly shrugged. “Not my fault you’re the epitome of a five course meal.” 

Seokjin sexily cocked a brow. “I think daddy was the term you used with me.” 

“Befitting.” You confirmed, sliding your hands around his hips until they were full of his ass, squeezing him. He lightly groaned with surprise, shooting you a testy look—your smirk only widened. “I suggest you prove to me how daddy you are before I take what I want.” 

Seokjin dryly chuckled, rolling his tongue inside his cheek. “Oh, trust me, I’m gonna enjoy nothing more than taming a brat like you.” 

Before you could retaliate, Seokjin shut you up by pushing inside your velvety sex. You gasped as he split you open, hands immediately grappling onto his shoulder and neck, nails scratching his already sweaty skin. 

“Oh my god, holy shit-!” You moaned out graphically; there isn’t a single man you’ve ever been with as well-endowed as Seokjin, the sheer thickness of him was already ending you, a pleasurable size that would doom you for all of eternity. 

“Oh god, you’re tight… so incredibly tight.” He breathed out hotly against your lips, kissing them between heady groans. He inserted himself far enough until he bottomed out, earning a fucked out sigh from you. 

Seokjin’s hands immediately slipped into yours, squeezing them for support as he managed himself inside you. He pinned you down into the sheets, ensnaring your eyes with a hungry, carnal look. 

“Are you alright?” He panted, barely holding himself together.

“I’m perfect.” You breathed back. “Are you?” 

“I’m amazing.” 

And without further instruction, Seokjin drew out of your sex, inch by inch, so he could feel you squeeze him for dear life, before driving back inside. Your back immediately arched off his bed, bowing into his chest. 

Seokjin encased your body in that instant, holding you against him as his hips propelled backwards, only to propel back in. Your heady grunts harmonized, breaths melding together as your figures ached to be connected. 

Once Seokjin physically felt your sex flutter more open, he unabashedly began moving inside you, slowly maneuvering in and out, filling you with his thick flesh. 

“Seokjin, oh my god.” 

“I know, Y/N.” He breathed before stealing a kiss from you. You needed more, you craved so much more that your walls clenched around him, pulsing for him to speed up. 

It drove Seokjin crazy, fuelling him to cradle you tightly as he fucked into your sex, repeatedly plunging inside. Your drawn out, erotic moans bounced off his walls, most likely echoing in the vast penthouse as Seokjin supplied you with sheer heaven in his bed. 

His thrusts weren’t senseless and rough, no, they were slow and calculative, sensual and intimate, the kind that cleverly rubbed your clit as he continuously filled you to the brim. Your mouth hung open with shameless gasps and sighs, hooking your arms around his neck, scratching your nails down his sweaty back as euphoria leaked into your veins. 

Seokjin’s thrusts became faster, harder, so much so that your head began banging against the headboard, and he immediately cushioned the top of your head with his hand, holding you in place as he drove into your fluttering pussy. 

It was a sudden deep, long plunge of his that made you scream, breaths as uneven as your heart rate.

“Fuck…” You whimpered, feeling the bottom of your stomach stirring. “How… how do I already want to cum?” 

Seokjin smirked before dipping down to kiss you, torturing you by gently swiveling his cock inside you—you swear nebulas formed behind your eyes.  

“Think I don’t know how to fuck now?” 

You shuddered out another whiney moan when he somehow pressed his abdomen against your throbbing clit, ending you. Your nails dug into him, cupping his jaw tightly for support. “Seokjin-!” 

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” He breathed, jumpstarting his pleasurable pace once again. This time, he kicked up the speed, fucking you faster, much harder than before, and it was deliciously intoxicating. “Any of those boys ever fuck you like this? Ever fuck you like a man should?” 

You shook your head, a sex-crazed haze clouding your mind and stealing your sense of functionality. You felt cosmically good; your eyes were rolling back, your cunt was burning with an orgasm that begged to be released. 

“It’s why you already want to cum,” he explained, accelerating his thrusts, crushing your chest against his as his breaths fanned across your wet, swollen lips. “A real man fucks a woman to pleasure her, not only to pleasure himself.”

You gushed buckets of your essence around him, lubricating your walls for him to constantly infiltrate. All you could feel was the delicious friction his cock created inside you, the rubbing of your clit, the sounds of his deep, masculine groans. 

Your orgasm was pending, waiting to wash over you so powerfully you wanted nothing but to be completely taken by him. Your hands weaved through his thick locks and hugged him closer, whimpering by his ear. “Seokjin… please, I’m gonna cum—take me.” 

Maybe it was your delicate voice, so needy for him, that caused Seokjin to lose his sanity. He attacked your neck with open-mouthed kisses, sensually suckling, biting, licking his desire onto your neck as he fucked you faster, relished in the sound of your hips smacking against each other, bodies moving up and down his mattress.

The faster pace ruined you, moaning harder, whinier, becoming so high-pitched as you chanted a mantra of Seokjin��s name, it wasn’t long before he delivered one last stroke that made your clit explode, the sparks of your orgasm pleasurably burning you. Euphoria spread across your body as it jerked, fluttering your weary eyes open to find Seokjin’s hungry ones blown out, indulging in your fucked out expression. 

You attacked his lips, kissing him messily and roughly—you weren’t done, you still needed more. “Seokjin…” You swallowed, coming down your high as you gripped his face, cheeks as hot as the sun. “More… fuck me more. I want more.”

Seokjin’s crooked smile was to die for, dipping down to peck your lips before biting your bottom lip, tugging it to watch it bounce back. He understood your memo, not even bothering to pull out of you before beginning another fatal series of thrusts. There was no need to go slow anymore, your pussy was split right open for his taking—and fuck, did Seokjin take. 

It wasn’t long before he put every one of your bed partners to shame by fucking so rough, so powerfully and yet, so deliciously, you were a moaning mess for him. His name was the only two syllables you knew, your brain operating on sheer lust as he devoured you, kissed you, fucked you so hard your legs locked around him instinctively, and he growled like a wild animal. 

Immediately, Seokjin wrapped his arms around you and lifted you from the bed, suddenly shoving your sweaty, naked bodies up against the nearest wall. Your back crashed into it, moaning erotically as your hands flailed to grip the wall, moaning like a madwoman when he buried his face into your neck. The new position allowed him to pornographically bounce you over his cock, scratching your nails against the paint of the wall.

Tears flood your eyes with how good it felt, how he felt, how decadently he pampered you with wet kisses down your throat. He dragged his tongue up your pulse point all the way up to your ear, licking your lobe until he nibbled it, sending you to cloud nine. 

The stimulation was Earth-shattering, once again feeling him rut against your soaked, swollen clit until yoru orgasn began building again. You could feel him throbbing inside you, could hear his desperate grunts by your ear along with a string of curses and your name. 

“Y/N… fuck, you feel incredible, fuck.” 

His arms supported you as he began jackhammering into your pussy, causing screams to spill out of you, You held his shoulders for dear life, cradling the back of his head as you brokenly sighed into his ear. 

“Seokjin… cum… inside me… now!” 

His shuddering moan was utterly beautiful, sending you spiralling as Seokjin pressed you against the wall harder, thrusted into you so much more vigorously, sucked hickeys all over your neck and chest until they illustrated his unbridled desire for you. 

And when you two nestled your foreheads together, moaning into each other’s mouths, gripping his chiseled jaw for any form of support, his fingers bruising your skin where he harshly gripped you, Seokjin released goops of his white seed inside you, tossing you over the edge. 

A subtle and yet mesmerizing orgasm ruptured inside you too, throwing your head back against the wall as your body clenched around him. His forehead fell into your chest as his groans became more stable, rising and falling with uneven breaths. 

Your arms lazily hugged his head, fingers gently massaging his scalp, processing the most mind-blowing sex you’ve ever had. You suddenly heard Seokjin adorably chuckle against your skin, feeling his frame rumble. 

A smile tugged your lips, joining him. “Why are you laughing?” 

Seokjin lifted his head, swallowing—your core pulsed at the sight of his sweaty Adam’s apple bobbing. “Because you were right—it feels good to finally take what I want.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, containing a smile. “And I can assure you there’s plenty more where that came from—you were good, or whatever.” 

You playfully feigned no effect, pretending to pick at your nails as though he didn’t just rock your entire universe. 

“It’s not just the sex, Y/N.” Seokjin softly cradleed your cheek, guiging you to meet his eyes—they shimmered beautifully with sincerity. “I’ve wanted you since the second I laid my eyes on you.” 

Your eyes widened. Something foreign clogged your throat, causing moisture to flood your eyes as your heart beat passionately—were you crying tears of joy? Did Seokjin actually want you for… you? 

“You’ve… wanted me for four years? And never said anything?” You feebly held your hand against your heart, hoping the action could calm its erratic beating. 

Seokjin breathed a fond laugh, smoothing a piece of your hair that stuck to your glistening skin. “I expected to take care of you, never to fall in love with you.” 

Tears manifested in your eyes, touched by his confession. 

“I couldn’t jeopardize anything if I ever made my feelings known, so I kept them to myself.” He explained, that same breath-taking, soft smile that always managed to warm your heart framing his lips. “Even if you never found out, as long as I could take care of you for a lifetime—that was enough for me.” 

You sniffled as fresh tears pricked your eyes, finally spilling over your lashline. All this time you’d been a bitch to him, he’d heard you with other men, joked around with you about your lascivious escapades, advised you on what to wear for your date nights with them—he’s loved you all along. 

Your lips collided with his, kissing him deeply, passionately. You couldn’t bear the thought of subjecting him to any more of that pain, not when you desired him just as equally. It didn’t matter if you two didn’t make sense, or how impossible it was to remain happily together, all you needed was Seokjin, needed his annoying stoicness and frustrating silence and his incredible sense of honour and duty. 

You realized then what exactly that pesky feeling inside your chest always was—love. 

You giggled, sniffling as you ran your thumb over his lips. “I never expected to fall in love with you, either.” 

Seokjin’s eyes adorably rounded with shock, his lips falling into a surprised pout. “Wait, what—” 

And before he could speak, you attacked him with an array of sweet kisses just to shut him up, conveying all that glowed in your heart for him. His hands curled around your body as he laughed and playfully launched you two back into his sheets, crawling under them to seal your lips for a never-ending kiss, and connecting your bodies for another ravishing night.

#seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #seokjin fanfic #thebtswritersclub #kwritersworldnet #btswritingcafe #clubzerooclock #bangtansorciere #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #purplearmynet #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts jin #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #seokjin imagine #fic: serve me

[kithtaehyung]

back to december (teaser) (m) | ksj

title: back to december (teaser) pairing: brother's best friend!seokjin x reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff , smut ; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au summary: ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind. note: this originally started as a one-shot for @raplinesmoon for the maui relief fundraiser, but turned into something more. since it also fit into the mold of this holiday collab, here we are! note 2: this is part of the jingle all the way collaboration with @kpopfanfictrash, @leahsfavefics, @cybrsan, @yoonia, and @sugaurora! all the holiday collab fics have the phrase “the holidays aren’t so bad with you around.” warnings: [explicit warnings to be posted on drop day!] language, alcohol, angst lol, time switches/flashbacks, seokjin being the sweetest until he’s not >:)), reader being damn cool, overthinking, bbf!jin needs his own warning i am warning y’all now, horribly great jokes, winter themes, relationship failures, stress/anxiety, jin being jin, did i say angst?, falling into cold water, a lot of gd yearning mood: back to december - taylor swift, halley's comet - billie eilish, universe/snowing in la - thuy teaser word count: 1.2k | est. word count: uhhh 20k+ lol wanna be on the taglist? add yourself here! est. drop date: january 2024

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It all started with an accident in winter. 

Ever the gracious hosts, your family decided to throw a cookout for your brother’s birthday, inviting everyone in the neighborhood and its outskirts to join in celebration. While your brother was initially opposed to being outside in the frost, word got around that his crush of three years running would be present, which suddenly warmed him right up to the whole idea.

Typical.

You were also initially opposed—having to sit through the festivities while your older sibling hogged all the attention—until you discovered your own downfall was attending, too. 

Because of course he would.

And if he was coming, you were set on making your naive self presentable and noticeable, and you still consider the day of the party to be the best you’ve ever carried yourself. You were confident, you were radiant.

Until you got bumped into the backyard pool.

You don’t even recall who knocked you in. All you remember was water rushing into your vision, and paddling through outright shame and embarrassment when you shakily swam your freezing bones to the ledge. Everyone saw you: your friends, your family, your brother’s older circle and acquaintances. In your adolescence, it was the literal worst thing to have happened to anyone in the history of ever.

But someone’s outstretched hand greeted you when you got to the pool’s edge. 

And when you looked up, you questioned if you hit the bottom on the way in because the face you were seeing was a shock. Were you deceased? Did you somehow swim to heaven’s beach?

No. It was really him, the very person you got all dressed up for. 

Seokjin. Handsome, reserved, off-limits friend of your brother Seokjin. 

Years later, you still question why he was the one helping you out. But it didn’t matter at the time because all you wanted was to get thawed out as soon as possible. 

“Come on,” he had urged. “You’ll get sick.”

Trembling because of the cold and nothing else, you took his hand and let him haul you into the house, wondering what the hell was going on the entire time. Why was he the one helping you? Where the hell was your brother? 

Because not only did he lead you inside, but the boy also accompanied you to your bathroom, grabbing a towel off its rack and wrapping it around your knocking shoulder blades. 

“Grab some clothes, okay?” 

“Huh?” 

“Go get clothes,” Seokjin ordered, moving towards your shower. “And change out of those as soon as you can.” 

“Oh.” Blinking, you couldn’t decide if your shivers were from the fall or his comments. But either way, you were shaking horrendously. “Yeah, okay.” 

After that, you remember being so cold you couldn’t even move your legs. Which meant that Seokjin had to lead you to your room and wait at the entrance while you hastily grabbed whatever you could find. 

There was no way he was gonna catch the cutesy patterns of your underwear. No way. 

When you were done, Seokjin brought you back into the restroom, the spray of water echoing through the festively decorated space. “It should be warm enough now,” he urged. “Don’t wait.” 

“Thank you,” you finally huffed, hating how your shakes stifled your gratitude. “You can, uhm. Go back out there now.” 

“Mm.” In the doorway, his eyes reflected the bright lights so perfectly. To this day, you still remember the way you compared them to stars. “Well. Umm. Good luck.” 

And you will never forget the way you felt heat before you even touched the run of the shower. 

“Yes, it’s all set. We are still on for Monday.” 

“Good. This is the meeting we absolutely cannot miss.” 

“Umm, yes—I mean—Understood.” 

“Is everything okay over there?” 

Rushing to close the door of your rental, you bite back a curse as your suit jacket catches in the edge. Because of course it does after the frantic day you’ve already had. “Yes! Everything’s”—you smush your top against your side while shutting the door again—“Fine! But I do have to go.” 

“Sure, sure. Oh, one more thing—”

Right. Rummaging through your purse, you locate the keys at the very bottom while trying to ingest the four things being tossed into your ear, locking the car in a fast walk to the massive mountainside property ahead of you. 

“ —then we’ll finalize the merger. Got that?” 

Holy shit, your brother must be doing even better than you or his fiance is loaded. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh, shit, sorry. Yes, Mr. Hamada, we can do that.” 

“Mm. What did we say about language.” 

“Apologies.” Damn your filthy mouth for running even faster in cold weather. Because it is the goddamn arctic out here. “I will say I have been getting better, though.” 

“Improvement won’t matter if you fuck up during the meeting.” 

“Alright, buddy.” Your superior’s laugh grates your ear as you haul ass into the warm estate, worry suddenly gripping you when you realize that no one is walking around. 

Shit, are you that late? Did you miss everything? 

Skittering right to the main doors, you start to panic. Are these the main doors? They look like them. Fancy. Very fancy. Shit, shit, shit, is the wedding over—

A full body bumps into your side as you round a table bursting with flowers. Having a sound enough mind to cover your receiver, you react in a shout, “Hey, watch it—” 

“Sorry!” 

Wait. You know that voice. 

Even though it’s one that you haven’t heard in years. 

“…Jin?” 

Everything slowly stops as the man turns and, if you weren’t so in shock, you would’ve noticed the way his eyes traveled from your heels to your perfectly trimmed brows. 

You expect both something and nothing. Because when it comes to the person standing in front of you, there’s no telling what he’ll destroy you with next. 

But what comes out is merely a tiny, chest-constricting, 

“Hello.” 

You stare, and stare, and stare some more. Even your boss cannot bring you back to the present with his incessant poking. 

Because Jin looks so fucking handsome in his suit that’s not quite dressed yet, with hair that’s swept just enough to throw you off planet earth. Even the way his tie lounges around his neck gives you pause, because it showcases how broad his shoulders have become. 

How can he look the same and yet so heartbreakingly different?

“I—” 

“Later, tuna fish.” 

Your heart lurches. 

“They’re waiting for me.” 

To your dismay, Seokjin presses a soft hand on your shoulder while passing through the ornate entrance, his lingering burn searing through as you watch him button his suit on the run. 

Well. At least you didn’t miss the wedding. 

You hear your sibling’s hearty shout echo throughout the hall, but you have to physically tear yourself from your spot to finally answer your boss. 

And to not fixate on the one person you thought you were safe from today. 

But of course he’s here. Why wouldn’t he be? Him and your brother have been inseparable since the beginning, and you should’ve known even being on different planets wouldn’t keep them apart too long. 

Speaking of… 

Traveling to another galaxy might solve the numbing ache in your chest. Maybe you should consider that gigantic leap yourself. 

Because seeing Jin again brings you back to December. 

And the frost you feel in your bones overshadows any weather brewing outside. 

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tbc.

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wheee! we have a teaser! | join the taglist!

a/n: isi i hope you know what monster you're about to unleash lmao. here's to another holiday seokjin! gosh, he will keep haunting me and i love him for it. second chance with isi's initial brother's best friend!jin request? gotta love it. the one-two-three punch, i reckon. anyways, hope y'all enjoyed the teaser and i am so so nervous about the main drop but hope you like that, as well :'))

links: jingle all the way collab ; masterlist

#let's get it! #bts fic #bts fanfic #seokjin fic #*latest #*ryenfictalk #holidaycollab #fic:btd #seokjin x you #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #seokjin smut #bts imagines #bts reactions #ryenwrites

[persphonesorchid]

Tasting Jealousy - KSJ

Summary: Seokjin is more than happy to accompany you to your company's New Year's Eve party, he's not happy however, that your co-worker is trying to flirt with you. The presence of this man brings up feelings Seokjin thought he left behind him.

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: COH!au, Cupid!Seokjin x F!Reader, fluff, smut...angst 😀

Warnings: Jealous jinnie, smut (Protected sex bcus Seokjin ain't looking to be a daddy for the new year. Soft Dom jinnie, fingering, kitty spanking - you'll see what I mean lmao.) Jin gets very sad at one point and it gave me flashbacks of a universe in which he left 🤡

Masterlist - HERE

Notes: Happy New year my darlings!! I hope this year brings you lots of joy, love and peace!! Be good to yourselves!!

Now, I love this couple so much and I just can't get away from them ajsjhsha so here you go, my last fic for the year! And guess what? You guys will finally get to know who sent MC the flower arrangements. I know a lot of you were wondering lmao. I hope to write more drabbles for these two...even though is can't be considered a drabble because it got way out of hand 😭 but! I'm not complaining! I hope you guys enjoy!!

this follows Cupid's on Holiday's What If drabble Picking Peonies

“Ranunculus.” The word is a hissed breath between Seokjin’s teeth, eyes narrowing into slits. There’s a muscle twitching just under his eye, and he should be careful. If he grips the champagne flute any tighter the fine glass will shatter.

You pause in the middle of your sentence, fingers brushing his as you take the glass he offers, head turning and tilting back a little to look up at him.

The chatter of the party populous and the soft crackle of Christmas jingles fades into background noise against the rising ring in his ears.

The man who stands across from you both must’ve been raised without manners, that or at least a little common sense. He stands tall, a inch or so shorter than Seokjin if he were to guess. They’re unintentionally matching, both wearing black turtleneck sweaters. Though, Seokjin’s coat is tweed and brushes his knees, the man’s is dark grey and stops where his hands are tucked into the pockets of his black slacks.

Its been about a minute since Seokjin went off to get you both something to drink. A minute since he spotted this man through the crowd and just knew.

It’s been about a minute since he’s walked over here, weaved his way through the crowd with a wide boxy smile and a wave in your direction. A minute of his eyes trailing over your form, lingering over the way the peach fabric accentuates your waist and flutters at your feet in soft waves. A minute since he’d leaned in with a smile and kissed both your cheeks.

A minute of him pretending Seokjin isn’t standing right here, like your arm isn’t linked with his.

Six minutes. Not like Seokjin is counting or anything.

Something burns hot in the back of Seokjin’s mind when you giggle around the syllables that make up this man’s name. You’re smiling at something he said a second ago, but Seokjin is so far in his head he didn’t hear. It’s the kind of smile you give him when he brings you your favourite treat; your cheeks puffing up and squishing your eyes. He doesn’t know if the guy’s actually funny or if you’re only smiling at him to not seem rude.

“This is Seokjin.” You say, and briefly, you look up at him, smile unmoving. There’s a pinch to your brow, probably still wondering what the meaning behind his word earlier was. A bit of pride blooms in his chest with the way you wonder; you’ve long forgotten where his distaste stems.

Seokjin dips his head in greeting when, the man – Taehyung – finally looks over at him. He extends a hand, overhead lights of the venue catching on the face of his watch that Seokjin knows is expensive. He knows because it matches his.

Seokjin shakes his hand firmly, even as Taehyung’s eyes meet yours again with a smile that seems a little more strained and a lot less boxy.

“Strong grip you’ve got there.” Taehyung's chuckle is deep as his hand falls back to his side and Seokjin only hums. “Friend of yours?”

There’s nothing in his tone that gives reason for the feeling that floods Seokjin’s chest. It rises quickly from his feet and burns the back of his neck and ears and he bristles.

“Partner, actually.” There’s an edge to his voice that he knows you’ve caught; you squeeze his arm a little.

“Ah, partner... That’s nice, I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

There’s no way he couldn’t have known.

He’s not in your department, Seokjin knows. This encounter would’ve happened a whole lot sooner had he been. Seokjin had been about your work place many times over this year alone, sometimes for no particular reason. Everyone in your department knows him by now.

Office gossip spreads like a flame in a dry grass field, so it isn’t that he hadn’t known, the man just chose to blatantly ignore it.

Something about that sets Seokjin’s teeth on edge.

“Ah, well, I’m pretty private so that’s fine.” You wave your other hand, the motion careful as not to spill the champagne that sits in it.

You and Taehyung make small talk, and Seokjin drowns in the feeling that’s swimming around his head. You ask him about how his birthday went and Taehyung says it could’ve been better. And there’s a twinkle in his eyes that Seokjin doesn’t like when he says it.

Taehyung smiles, after a while of Seokjin just staring him down. “Well...all my best for the new year.” He says, the curls of his dark hair sways on his forehead when he looks to Seokjin again. “Nice meeting you.”

And like that, he was gone, back through the crowd to linger when he’d came from.

Seokjin feels you shift, and when he looks at you, you’re already watching him.

“What was that about?” you ask, a brow raised.

“What?” Seokjin raises a brow back and you sigh, tapping at his arm with hand that was looped around it.

“Jin...” You say nothing more and Seokjin busies himself with draining the rest of the champagne in his glass. He sets it down on a nearby table and you do the same, unlinking your arm from his to stand in front of him.

“Do you want to leave?” you ask softly.

“We’ve only been here two hours.” Seokjin replies, shaking his head.

“You didn’t answer my question. And besides it wouldn’t be any fun if you’re gonna be like...that for the rest of the night.”

“I’m not being like anything.” His voice is a little harsh, and Seokjin isn’t sure if it’s because he’s being called out. He sighs, brows pinching. “It’s fine. It wouldn’t be fair to you if we leave now.”

“I don’t mind, that’s why I asked. If you don’t want to stay that’s okay.”

“Why’re you so stubborn? Stop pushing it.”

You step away from him, eyes rolling as you step past.

“Where are you going?” Seokjin calls, turning as you walk, following the motion of your body with his.

“The bathroom.” You snap and Seokjin stares until you disappear into the throng of people.

There’s a low whistle behind him and Seokjin slowly turns, hackles raised again.

Taehyung is back. Barely seems to be paying him mind as he fills a plate with finger food and snacks. The long rectangular table is tucked into a corner, laden with different types of foods. He’s a bit away, but Seokjin’s certain he heard the exchange if the little smile he donned was anything to go by.

“Trouble in paradise?” He nods with his chin in the direction you stomped off to, picking a mini sandwich off his plate.

“Just a small fire. Containable. Although, I don’t see how that’s any business of yours.” If Seokjin’s eyes could narrow any further, he’d close them.

Taehyung lifts his shoulder in a shrug, “Just worrying, she’s my friend after all. Would hate to see her not have a good time.”

“Right.” Seokjin says, and then takes a breath. He doesn’t have to entertain this. He turns on his heel, walking through the crowd towards the bathrooms.

He finds you just coming out, pulling the lace of your sleeves back down to your wrists. He takes your hand, “We’re leaving.”

“Okay.”

You follow without complaint or question. Once outside, Seokjin gives you his coat because he doesn’t need it, a hand on the small of your back as he leads you to where he parked. Ever the gentleman, he opens the door for you and waits until you’re situated before going around and getting in.

He turns the heat on, and the drive is silent.

After a moment of your eyes burning into the side of his head, you finally speak: “Are you okay?”

“M’fine.” Seokjin tries to keep the edge out his tone because there’s no reason to snap at you.

You still catch it, and Seokjin sighs when you go quiet. His teeth aches when he clenches his jaw, grip tight on the steering wheel. It wasn’t long before he’s pulling into the parking lot of the apartment and you’re out the car first.

The way up to your apartment is silent, and it continues until you’re both inside, taking your shoes off at the door.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

Seokjin feels guilt knot his stomach as you stare at him, a patient look on your face.

“I’m sorry. It’s just...”

There was still a lot of things Seokjin was getting used to. It’s been a year since he decided to break every rule set for him and stay with you. There are times when he’s blissfully unaware of it. When he’s tucked it into the far reaches of his mind in a box under lock and key and it doesn’t bother him. Sometimes though, like now, it rattles along the inside of his head, bouncing off corners.

Taehyung is the one who sent you that horrid floral arrangement on valentines day. It had long stopped irritating him whenever thought about it. The initial jealousy had come and crested like a wave and was gone then. Now it crashes in like a tsunami.

It’s not just jealousy he feels, but a strange sense of being lost. Like he’s walking through a fog with a blindfold. He’s aware of what he did, when he decided to turn his back on his duty and be selfish. He knows well there are some things he can’t ever give you.

A normal, happy life is one of them.

He can give you whatever you ask for, anything you want it’s yours without question. But what happens later? Years down the road and you’re married to him and he can’t give you the one thing you’ll want then.

The person meant for you could give that to you.

He’s being selfish. You’ve never complained, but Seokjin knows you must’ve wondered about it by now. The what if. Maybe...perhaps it would've been better if he'd followed through with leaving then...

“Jin?” you call softly, ducking your head a bit to meet his gaze, “Talk to me, what is it?”

“Do you regret it?” His voice is just as soft, looking down at his feet. He looks up, somewhere above your head, sighing, “Do you know that he’s the one who sent you those flowers?”

You seem confused for a moment, and then recollection lights in your eyes. “Oh! Oh...Jin.” you chuckle a bit and step closer.

“Don’t laugh, it’s not funny.” Seokjin groans, and meets you halfway when you reach for him. Your fingers dance at the nape of his neck and Seokjin pulls you closer by the waist.

“Is that what was bothering you?”

He can only hum, and you chuckle again. The warmth of your hand rubs circles against his back and he feels that warmth seep into his bones and settle there.

“I don’t regret anything. None of it.” You murmur against his neck, and Seokjin pulls away, cupping your cheek with a hand. His thumb gently caresses, and he meets your eyes for the first time in a while and calls your name softly.

“There are things that I can’t give you.”

“So?”

There’s a fierce look in your eyes that makes Seokjin wrap his next set of words up neatly and swallow them.

“None of that matters. You’re more than enough.”

Seokjin closes the gap between you both, pressing his lips firmly to yours. The arm at your waist pulls you close and the hand that sits at the side of your neck tails into your hair to tug at the many pins that you’d secured it with.

He spins you with practiced ease, pressing your back against the wall of the entryway and crowding your space.

He places a kiss at the corner of your mouth just to tease, and chuckles when you chase. His kisses trail along your jaw, stopping just below your ear, and he takes the lobe between his teeth.

The little sound you make shoots down his spine, and he feels your fingers curl into the fabric of his sweater. He taps at your waist, his hand trailing over the curve of your ass and he gives you a moment to settle your arms securely around his neck before he lifts.

He doesn’t need to see where he’s going to find his way to your bedroom, and he busies himself with kissing and marking the skin he could reach. The fingers of his other hand finding the zipper at the back of your dress to tug down.

He sets you on your feet, pulling back just enough to help you out of your dress, his eyes still closed as he trails his lips over your collarbone, pushing the fabric off your body until it pools at your feet. Your skin is warm where he touches, he ghosts his fingers along your sides and revels the way you visibly shiver.

The bralette you chose for the night is lace and hides nothing from his hooded gaze, your nipples taut from the chill and his caress. He thumbs at the peaks, and when you tug on the hem of his sweater, he tuts at your impatience.

His hand slides up your back, unclasping the bralette and pushing you gently back until you hit the bed. The straps slide down your arms and he tugs it off, palming at a breast with a groan trapped behind his teeth.

“Jin..” you sigh his name and Seokjin hums, tilting his head at you.

He leans into you and you fall back. Seokjin holds his weight on his hands just above tour shoulders, and his knees trapping your thighs between them. He watches you blink up at him with some confusion as he simply stares.

“Let me ask you something.” He says, and then he shift, getting onto the bed and sitting with his back against the headboard. He curls his fingers at you, and with a bit of uncertainty tinting your form you follow. He settles you between his spread legs, pressing a kiss to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder as he traces patterns against the skin of your thighs.

He spreads you legs with a gentle hand, bringing his legs up a bit so that the back of your knees hooks against his thigh. Seokjin brings his hand down quickly, the lace of your underwear does nothing to shield you from it and he chuckles when your surprised whine meets his ears. He feels you trying to snap your legs shut as the sting of his hand runs through you, the way your back arches away from his chest.

“Tell me, sweet girl.” Seokjin coos, and he decides to be nice, rubbing soothing circles against your lace covered pussy. He could feel just how wet you are, your panties slide against your slick skin with his movements, damp against his hand. “Do you think you’re deserving of my touch right now?”

Your exhale rattles against his chest, and he waits patiently for your answer. He allows you a moment to think, and he knows it’s hard, as his fingers tease at the seam of your underwear, slipping underneath to find the wetness there.

“I am.” You finally say.

“Oh, are you?” Seokjin chuckles, dipping a finger into the warmth of you just to hear your gasping moan. He presses the finger against your clit, circling once, twice, and then he stops. “Do you want me to tell you why you’re not?”

Seokjin kisses your jaw, and the slight shift of your hips doesn’t go unnoticed. “You let that man get near you. Allowed him to act like I wasn’t there. Ignored the way he was looking at you.”

“Jin, it wasn’t...”

“Shh,” Seokjin shushes you gently, fingers resuming the slow, torturous grind against your clit. “I should make you cum until you cry.”

The whimper you let out makes his slacks feel constricting. He sinks two fingers, knuckle deep into you and kisses your neck when your head lulls back against his shoulder. He watches the way his hand moves under your panties, curling his fingers against the spot that makes your toes curl.

He presses the heel of his palm against your clit, and runs his tongue along the shell of your ear when your pussy clenches and your moans go up in pitch.

“Close already?” Seokjin coos mockingly, a chuckle on his exhale. The fingers of his other hand pinching lightly at your nipples, and then he stops, “That’s too bad, then.”

Your groan holds frustration and Seokjin unhooks your legs from his. He stands to rid himself of his clothes, his cock hard and weeping when it slaps lightly against his stomach. The reaction you invoke in him has never changed, a shiver slithers down his spine and watches at your tongue darts out to moisten your lips. You reach a hand out to him and Seokjin takes it, bending a little at his waist to press kisses against your fingers.

He fishes a condom from your nightstand – ever mindful – and then crawls between your legs, taking a moment to slide your panties down them.

“Okay?” He asks to make sure that you’re okay to continue, that he’s not driving you too hard.

You nod, and you lift your hips, pressing his cock between your wet heat and his stomach. Seokjin groans against your lips, tightening his grip against your thigh.

He moves his hips, pulling back and then pushing into you with slow, languid strokes. He kisses you tenderly, his tongue exploring your mouth. When his fingers brush against your clit, the way your core tightens around his cock has him seeing stars. His thrusts gets faster, and he knows just how quickly you’re hurdling towards your end, he watches every minute expression. The way your eyes squeeze shut and how your lips curl around his name, the scratching of your nails down his back.

Just as you reach the peak, Seokjin moves his hand away and slows his thrusts, leaving you trembling and whining. He smiles against your lips, and whispers, “Let’s take this slow.” He kisses you again, his thrusts becoming slower and gentler.

He continues to move in and out of you at a slow, steady pace, taking his time to bring you to the edge of pleasure again and again. Eventually, he begins to speed up, and he moves his hand back to your clit, sending you over the edge into a powerful orgasm.

“Fuck.” Seokjin groans, following not long after, his forehead against your collarbone. There’s a ringing in ears when he comes down, and he presses a kiss to your sternum before pulling away.

After you were both cleaned up and the sheets were changed, Seokjin holds you close as you both watch the couple of minutes tick by until midnight.

“Do you have any resolutions?” Your head is against his chest, a leg over his hip.

He traces patterns against your thigh, thinking quietly. This is another one of those human things that he wouldn’t ever grasp. You rang in the last new year with Yoongi and Hoseok while he was busy with his duties with the other Cupids in the area, so you must’ve had this question for a while.

Seokjin hums softly, “Loving you. That’s it.” He smiles when you giggle and when the fireworks start up at the stroke of midnight you both watch them light up the night sky through your open window.

“Happy New Year, Jinnie.”

Seokjin turns, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss and he whispers the words back to you.

You both lay there for a moment, quiet, and then Seokjin speaks: “You know, I could make him fall in love with his office chair or something.”

“Jin.”

tagging: @xpeachesncream @bangtansmauyeondan @taestefully-in-luv @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @euphoricfilter @luaspersona @mssukeyna @allhobbitstoisengard @eoieopda @minmin2022 @liveyun

#persphonesorchid #Tasting jealousy #seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #bts #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #Cupid's on holiday: the drabbles #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #cupid au #angel au #bts fic recs #bts fanfic #jin smut #jin x reader #jin angst #jin fluff #bts fic rec #bts smut #bts fluff #bts x you #bts imagines #happy new year

[liveyun]

𝐓 𝐎 𝐍 𝐈 𝐆 𝐇 𝐓 — KSJ.

title : tonight

pairing. seokjin x female reader (oc)

genre. fluff , students au , romance

w. love at the first sight(?) ; oc is struggling a lot ; foul language ; some mentions of stalking (no one is stalking) ; dad jokes ; softness <3

wc. ≤ 4k

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You've never ever been so excited to go to the school cafeteria before until one day you noticed him.

Those games were always boring to you, only if your friends didn't force you to join in. Backing off while your brain scrambles to think of an excuse when your back suddenly hits a firm and muscular back as you spin back, in slight shock, those broad shoulders never leaving your sight. That person was visibly taller as he turned to you with the same, hurried air, flurries of apologies coming out through splutters.

“I’m-I’m so sorry,—”

His friends swarm around his shoulders, petting him with short praises and yells. That feeling in your stomach was immaculate. At that exact moment your breath hitches in your throat and you momentarily forget what is breathing. Your heart thumps as if it was going to burst out, and your throat dries up.

Tresses of silk-like raven hair rested on his forehead, parting to give him the perfect forehead you'd ever seen. His face glows with the lighting of the room, and you'd easily believe the glow outdid the sun easily. With those almond shaped, curious eyes which radiated the warm aroma of fresh melted chocolate, he had those squishy cheeks paired with cranberry pillowy lips. An instant dazzling smile highlighting the sculpture of his face instantly made your heart throb at the very first sight.

Even though the encounter was just for a matter of seconds which can be surmised to be long forgotten, it was anything but. That was imprinted in your heart as if it's meant to be within those deep treasures of the sea, a Siren’s voice by the sober shores of the coast. Each recollection of the memory left your heart pulsing like small jitters of the first snow and butterflies fluttering inside your tummy as if they're playing with a young, playful kitten.

It didn't leave your brain at all at times, especially when you returned to the cafeteria where the incident took place. Sometimes, as much as you're basful to admit, you'd visit to come back to the fleeting happiness you'd felt back with a slight exchange of formalities with the guy who stole your heart from you, and doesn't seem to be seen anywhere afterwards.

Choosing the table closest to the window, today you're alone as your stomach rumbles with hunger. you sit down with your plate in your hand, ready to eat after a long day.

The aroma of the warm bowl of dubu jigaetguk calms you down as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding on. Being a student with a part time job as waitress in a pub wasn't easy to say, to some point. Sure, you're used to the strain you're putting on your already tired body from your tedious routine, but when you realize how you hardly get any rest for yourself.

Whether you like it or not, whether your social batter is on the verge of dying, you again have to reach school on time after getting an ounce of rest, or sometimes, even not. Getting dozens of assignments and projects to finish and much less time to compete with,you end up in the library finishing them, often starving yourself in the process. Then again, cycling back to your workplace, the foul, shitty pub where a single mistake can earn thousands of souls, weird looks and mockings from that ass manager of yours.

Or sometimes, even deduction from your paycheck if the humiliation doesn't feel enough to him. It's almost past midnight when you reach your rented apartment. Your muscles are sore, aching, and screaming for a break with your social battery already dead by the time you fall back to your bed, trying to fall into a dreamless sleep.

Well, if you're particularly clear, there wasn't anything to do; if you wanted to continue your precious education you had to do this. The sun can shine only so brightly when it burns just as strongly, yes?

Eh, apart from the poetry. . .finally after weeks you got some time to eat. A quick peek at the huge windows and you know that there's a sudden drizzle which has people rushing about for a shelter to the unexpected rain. You notice a few people rushing into the cafeteria too, and a happy thought strikes your head at the new crowd. Him. Your heart begins racing and all the memories flashes again as if they're happening right now. The hopes of finding him again thaws in your chest and your lips quirk up to a smile unknowingly.

Him. . . .who was he and what had he done to you? What was his name? Once again you felt your heart pick up its that it felt like it was drumming with happiness inside; Was he of the same school as yours? Obviously, it had to be or else what he would be doing in the cafeteria area.

But you'd sometimes even see the students from other nearby schools during competitions or fests here, so it could be a possibility.

He seemed to be pretty much popular within his friends, you assume. You could, by just looking at the number of people who'd swarmed around him at that moment and when your small interaction was over, their giggles and laughs were enough to prove he was a good friend of theirs indeed.

It was a bit too overwhelming sometimes as a part of you is hurt to think that you've actually fallen for a stranger within some seconds when you can't seem to find any traces of him so far, or you don't know anything about him. Pining for a stranger who might even not be single has your breath shaking.

A sigh leaves your quivering lips. Why did your heart have to do that ? Your head drops to your hands, your thoughts pulling yourself down to your loneliness once again.

Fiddling the spoon on your bowl while you stare with your head empty at the mushy mass of tofu floating in the seasoned soup, long gone cold. Your brain is on a loop thinking about all those, his perfect face, his possible popularity, the way he was just surrounded by his friends. If he wasn't nice , how could they hang out with him? A true person makes a true friend, and for sure that thought kind of convinced you that he maybe wasn't. . ..in your league.

Or so you'd convince yourself somehow that you had no chances with him. You, the loner who always has been avoiding people, making excuses to avoid interaction, easily losing interest. Being a social butterfly wasn't your thing, really. Making stoney faces and uninterested replies was your thing, and you were used to those stares at the pub bar and in your school where God knows by what names and what assumptions were you being called so, and you couldn't care more. Your heart may have pumped warm blood, but its veins carried numbness and no signs of interest for the hate. Times have made you that way, and you still are.

He was. . .just an acquaintance. Or even something less. You didn't even know his goddamn name ! You know that your heart will have a hard time understanding what your brain already has, but sooner or later you'll have to, afterall. It was already a month following this incident, and you had to distract yourself to move on.

Shaking your head to let go of those thoughts, you're now mentally scolding yourself for overthinking, again and you just wanted to forget him, that incident which took place both in the cafeteria and in your heart. There are some extremely alluring and beautiful things in this world which are craved by many, but are achieved by only a few.

That's it; you now wanted to finish up your meal and as soon as you'd completed today's schedule, you wanted to go home. Yes, home.

The bell rings, finally.

And now, it's time for the teacher to depart. As soon as she leaves the class you switch on your cell and your eyes fall on the texts from your co-worker oblique friend Grace.

RECEIVED. 12:30 PM

grace ⭐ : OoO

grace ⭐ : Big Newsssss

grace ⭐ : no work today!!

SEEN. 1:00 PM

you : huh?

you : ??

RECEIVED. 1:05 PM

grace ⭐ : Manager called in a day 😵‍💫

grace ⭐ : He says it's some ‘Personal Stuff’ He has fallen into😶

Sighing, your thoughts run up to your warm bed among soft,warm sheets to the fact that you have your biology exam tomorrow leaves a frustrating aftertaste in your tongue. You decide to stay back in the library, at least you'd be studying and it would be a nice distraction from all those non stop floods of thoughts.

You didn't realize the time flies so soon that you've actually completed memorizing the final two chapters without any fail sitting in peace with all the focus on your book and notebook and no other distracting thoughts inside you.

A wave of satisfaction floods over your body, as you close your eyes and let out a little breath. You just keep still for some moments like that, cherishing your little victory until you felt the seat beside you was occupied. You didn't pay much attention to it since it was a school library; anyone could come in and you didn't care less. You just buried your head in your book and slowly, your signs of exhaustion were clear. Your eyes felt heavy to be kept open, getting watery each time you yawned.

Fuck, sleep sounds way too good now. Your burning eyes close for a while. Heaven. Your head is almost about to fall down on your book when you suddenly feel a tap on your shoulder. Jerking with a silent breath, you turn to the source of the tap.

Your sleep-riddled brain is already clogging up and your breath is again caught up. Your heart begins thumping at such a rate that it's starting to hurt a bit, and a small gasp leaves your lips.

That same face, those same plush lips and that glow. Those chocolate brown eyes softly staring at you, while his lips adorned a gentle smile causing his cheeks to puff up slightly.

“Hey..” fuck. His voice is so fucking smooth and soft, you feel like you're floating on a cloud. Nah, it cannot be real. He cannot be real. You must've fallen asleep at this point.

“Are you okay...?" His voice echoes in your ears at the lack of your reply and your dazed expression,.presently tearing you out from your daydream.

“We—we met at the cafeteria that day, if I'm not—”

“I remember you,” you cut him off by a murmur, thinking of how vividly you remember him ever since that meeting. You put a hand on your chest as you blink, breathing heavily with your heart still thrumming hard.

A water bottle was passed to your hands as you looked up at him again, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. He started apologizing as he thought that he disturbed your study session and kind of caught you off guard. You decline and shrug it off like nothing much happened, as you feel your tummy already swarming with a forest of butterflies at even the bare minimum. The way he's so. . you don't know, but whatever it is, it's doing nothing good to your poor heart. You already feel your cheeks ignite at its very thought of looking at those warm, soft, roasted coffee eyes.

“I’m Seokjin. I realized that I should’ve introduced myself to you that day, but by the time I did, you already were gone,”

He quips with a laugh,taking out his books on the table as you realize it's your turn to introduce yourself. As soon as you do it, you wished if you weren't so nervous and didn’t sound so small to him as you did to yourself; but a sweet smile was given off as a response.

“Erm..for that day, I'm really sorry. Those brats wanted me to join a frat party, and while I told them how much I hate frat houses, I didn't realize that you were behind me,” he rubs the back of his neck with a nervous laugh almost as if he's embarrassed.

“It's..it's quite rude that I left without an apology.” His eyes are even softer, melting your heart even more.

“But you did apologize to me?” You laugh off, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you feel his wide gaze at you as he breaks down to a fit of nervous giggles.

Did you see correctly that his ears were flushed red?

“I finally found some time to study, so I decided to be here. Just when I was passing by, I saw you and thought of. . .well, apologizing properly this time,”

He's rubbing his neck again as if he's embarrassed to speak it out and itches to speak more. You ask him to continue. Clearing his throat, he says, “I wanted to be friends with you. I've seen you pretty many times in the local bar. Each time I'd try to find you, you were always scuttering away into the chambers. Much to my surprise I found you in our school cafeteria.”

“I actually wanted to talk to you, even before our bumping happened and I never got to see you after that. . .”

Your eyes flick up to him as he suddenly jumps on his seat, shaking his head violently with wide, shaking pupils.

“Nono!! no!! Don't, don't get me wrong,” he chokes out, “I wasn't stalking you or something like that, I just. . . couldn't at all get a grip on my curiosity. . .” he's rubbing his neck again, and you bet you saw his cheeks pink this time. He's so adorable and it makes you giggle, a surprising sound which you think you haven't heard of before.

“So, you're a regular of the turquoise villa?” He looks up at you, somewhat relieved to not have been perceived as a stalker. “Well, not really regular, you know? I don't drink often, but it's like I've been dragged there at times for the birthday celebration of my homies. Or when anyone needed alcohol to let go of their grief,”

“So like I've been there thrice or twice, and I've seen you all the times I've visited.” You are quite surprised yourself. Thinking of the fact that he wanted to talk to you as much as you wanted to have blood rushing up to your cheeks. You're trying your best not to react so openly at this, but you're having a hard time controlling your heart. It beats so loudly that you feel your blood rushing up to your brain in your ears.

He asks you again if you're ok.

You shrug again.

“You could've just. . .heh, joined me at the library since I'm here after lunch,”You laugh, embarrassed at your own loss at words. He flashes a sweet smile your way, suddenly flicking his wrist to get a look at the time on his watch.

“So, is it a day off for you?”

Months have passed after your friendship with him began to bloom, and you find yourself falling more and more for him. You feel your mask slip more and more each day when you're with him. He was totally how you expected him to be, understanding, radiant, intelligent and humorous. And not to mention, had a face carved by God themselves.

All of your bad days seemed like nothing when you had him, whether it was his sweet gesture of sharing his ramen with you during lunch; Encouraging and comforting you when your thoughts spiraled downwards. Whether it's just him and you sitting in silence, basking in each other's company, or cackling like dumb idiots at his dad jokes which were in abundance with him. Your colorless life seemed to have suddenly filled with rainbow colors, as sparkles lit up your numb heart which seems to have known him, and beats only for him. You feel utterly selfish at times, but him saying that he enjoys hanging out with you just as much as you do somehow puts you at ease.

As if apart from pumping blood his existence was the reason for your heart beats, that subtle drumming was felt by you each time whenever his face flashes in your mind, as if your heart knows him. You couldn't really help yourself, it felt like you were rolling and rolling down continuously an inclined hill for him and those feelings were just too much to bear. Yet, you have decided to keep cool cause lord knows for what you didn't want to confess.

Perhaps it's the fear of losing a friend who meant so much to you, you wanted to go with the flow and just endure it.

Apart from being a really sweet guy, his sense of humour is impeccable. You two are pretty good friends now. Even if you don't meet each other at the school due to the different routines, you two have regular contact through text and calls, which kind of is. . . awaited for you to listen to his voice and his pretty little jokes.

A chilly night as it was tonight, your grumbling manager is dismissing the employees a bit early. You rumble your bag to keep your uniform back and sling it up your shoulders, waving goodbye to Grace who seems equally as tired as you. Stretching your aching and sore limbs, you sigh and rub your shoulders. Waves of exhaustion flows through you, as you yawn, cursing at your own self as you take small, tortoise steps towards your house.

You're lost in your own world when you feel a tap on your shoulder out of nowhere and your breath is knocked out of your lungs. You're nearly screaming as you jump, startled, but suddenly you smack your lips as you see that taller boy laughing loudly, broad shoulders shaking with each squeak.

You snort, “Seokjin, you ass, you scared the living shit out of me.” He is laughing breathlessly and you smack his shoulder, earning a small ow from him. Soon, he gently holds your shoulders and calms himself down.

"But hey, what are you doing here, Seokjin? We're already closed for the evenin—”

“Hm,I was up for a walk and I suddenly felt my limbs carrying themselves here. Muscle memory, maybe?” He rubs his chin as if in deep thought, and you nearly huff.

“I haven't seen you for a few days. But it turns out that you're already leaving, so I thought of walking you home, as I see you're quite tired, if you don't mind.”

“Ha, are you gonna carry me or something?” you chirp as you walk along, suddenly all of the exhaustion vanishing away from you.

“If you'd let me, I surely would.” You fake a gasp and try to ignore the fluttering in your stomach once again.

You walk down the pavement with him by your side.

“____?”

“Yes?” you're curious as you look up at him.

“What do you say when you're busy on a call, and want to talk to a person later?” his eyes are twinkling by the time he finishes his question. You're thinking, hard, what possibly could be his joke.

“I’ll.. I'll call you later?”

He groans,“Don’t call me later. Call me Seokjin, please.”

“Wh—” you stop by your tracks and roar a laugh, him squeaking along with you. Fuck, your stomach hurt with that. You pant as you near your apartment, sighing happily.

A chilly wind blows through, and goosebumps flood all over your skin as you rub your arms with your hands, feeling a bit cold. You wished if you would've stuffed the hoodie inside your bag, then you wouldn't have been facing this right now.

Suddenly, you feel two hands wrap around your shoulders softly as you turn and you find that his black bomber jacket is wrapped around your shoulders.

This awkward position where you basically have your face craned up to look at him, has his face just a few inches away from yours. You feel his breath gently brushing your face. Your eyes winden themselves, as your blood rushes up to your cheeks, and your heart is thumping, again. Your lips part slightly, seeing him this close where you can smell the faint but enchanting scent of his woody cologne could be described just as a dream . . . and now it's true.

You can't help but gasp with your heart thundering inside your chest, warmth radiates from his jacket, his soft smile contrasting with his beautiful eyes twinkling in the starry night.

“Seokjin. . .” fuck. You did sound small.

“Hm? Are you still cold?" He asks with a soft voice as your chest is almost hurting with its fast beats. “No. . .” quite the opposite. You pull your hands to your chest again, as he chuckles lightly. You look down with completely flushed cheeks. You feel like you're about to burst at the close proximity.

“I. . .” You close your eyes, unable to confront your shyness. Fuck, you've never been ever this close to him, you've never ever been so close. . . ! His strong arms snakes around your waist inside the loosely hanging jacket, spinning you so that you're facing him. Your eyes nearly pop out of your sockets, but the somewhat hesitant look in his eyes explains that he's nervous, too. You relax visibly in his hold, your body turning to putty under his eyes. He smiles as he sees your pupils dilate, breathing wild.

His hold on you is gentle gentle gentle, and if you'd die here, you happily would, if this is what heaven feels like. His nose nearly brushes by your own with how close he is to you, and his soft, long bangs tickle the apples of your cheeks as he pulls you even closer. Fuck. Fuck. This really is happening.

By the time he speaks again, the entire world stops for you and all that you can hear is his silent, but delicate voice in your ears, “I just want to ask you if I can keep you warm with me by your side, holding hands just like this.”

Oh, fuck. You cannot beleive what's happening. But whatever is, you just want to do. . . cherish. You hope you'll be talking about this later, too.

You nod.

A toothy grin spreads all over his lips, his face lighting up instantly.

He tilts his head to lean in more and whisper a small thank you. And then, his lips press so softly against your own, and you feel yourself smile as your hands reach up to his neck, pulling him closer to you.

You'd let him keep you warm forever.

a/n : missing seokjinnie a bit too much lately (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) i hope you enjoyed reading this smol drabble <3 don't forget to drop a reblog if you did, it helps a lot 🤍

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#seokjin imagine #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin x you #seokjin x reader #bts smut #bts au #bts imagines #bts fluff #bts x oc #bts x you #bts x reader #bts scenarios #friends to lovers #bts fics #seokjin fics #kim seokjin x reader #kim seokjin x you

[jeonqkooks]

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.04.2023]

#seokjin x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin x you #seokjin fanfic #seokjin imagines #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bangtanbathhouse #bangtantheatrenet #btshoneyhive #clubzerooclock #52hertz #fic: kyoho

[kookslastbutton]

hii i hope ur well!! just wanna say i absolutely adore ur writing it's so addictive ahaha <33 here's a request i have, if u don't mind: so basically jin and the reader are in a relationship and jin was pretty confident with the relationship at the start, but he feels like after y/n met the other members they spend more time with each other than jin + y/n, and then one day something happens thats just the last straw for him so his jealousy is now visible + a hot make out sesh if u dont mind lmaoo

End of the Line ༓ KSJ (m)

✑ Summary: Your relationship with Seokjin hits a bumpy path when he notices you've been spending more time with his friends than him. It's an understatement to say your boyfriend has had enough of it.

pairing: seokjin x reader

au/genre: fluff, little bit of angst, some crack, suggestive smut, established relationship, drabble

rating: m, 18+

word count: 1,392

warnings: seokjin is jealous and a bit pompous lol, seokjin just wants oc to pay attention to him again 🥺, reference to super tuna bc I couldn't resist, also yeah some crack at first bc its Seokjin, swearing, light fighting, hot make out session as requested, ass gr*pping, manhandling, feat. jhs, myg, & kth

now playing: super tuna

a/n: This was very fun to write anon! 🤩 tysm for your kind words!! It means so much to me 💗 I really hope you like this ☺

You and Seokjin started out as friends—always accompanying the other to weddings, karaoke nights, nature walks, and even fishing trips. It was when Seokjin caught a super tuna on one of his trips to sea that you were beyond proud of him. You didn't hesitate at all to pull out your phone and take a picture of him with his catch.

Seokjin marks it as the day he knew he couldn't just stay friends with you, so he asked you out. It wasn't every day that he'd meet someone who'd get as excited over super tuna as he did after all.

'This tuna will not be released back into the water!' he promised to himself while smiling at the camera with you behind it.

Ever since that day you and Seokjin have been going out as a couple for three months. At first, the two of you were inseparable. You went on multiple dates a week; three at least.

But that all turned upside down when he took the plunge to introduce you to his inner circle, his main guys. Now whenever he asks about your day or your whereabouts you tell him you're out with Namjoon or hanging out with Jimin.

It couldn't be more obvious that you prefer spending time with his friends over him—your boyfriend. Well, he's World Wide Handsome, so whatever this thing is will end today.

Seokjin stands in front of his full-length bedroom mirror, plain white t-shirt, and classic denim jeans. The front pieces of his hair are pushed to either side of his face to make a clean middle part. "This should get her attention." He takes his phone from his pocket and snaps a mirror selfie. "I look damn good today." He sends the photo to you right after.

Seokjin: Having a good hair day, don't you think? [sent an image]

He eagerly waits for your response which typically only takes a few short minutes. But when the time on his phone jumps ahead twenty minutes without a reply, he just knows something's up.

Jagiya 😘: it's nice ❤😊

"Unbeliveable," he scoffs. "That's all you have to say?" Seokjin nearly glares at the screen as he types out a response.

Seokjin: Where are you? I miss you and want to see you 😞

Jagiya 😘: I'm home bby. We can go out if you want??

Seokjin lights up at this. He hasn't been able to see you all week between work schedules and oh yeah...you hanging out with his friends. The last part has him scowling. He's glad you get along with his buds and all but did you have to get so close to all of them?!

Seokjin: yes, come over as soon as you can! We can see a movie or go for lunch 😀

Jagiya: okay, I'll be there in half an hour.

Mission complete. Seokjin slips his phone back into his pocket and combs his slender fingers through his hair.

"Congratulations bro, your girlfriend's yours again!" He gives himself a pat over the shoulder then heads to the living room to wait for you.

When he hears fists pounding on his door he leaps to open it with a big grin plastered on his face.

"Hey hyung!" Seokjin's grin melts when he sees Hoseok, Yoongi, and Taehyung standing in the hallway outside his apartment. You're in between all of them, touching a little too close in his opinion. Seokjin tosses you a 'what the fuck' look instantly.

"Kook, Joon, and Jimin had other plans so they couldn't make it. The rest of us are free though. What movie are we seeing?" You say, oblivious to your error.

Seokjin doesn't reply but clutches your wrist and pulls you towards him, more aggressively than he meant. He then slams the door before the others can walk in.

"Seokjin! What the hell are you doing?" You shake your wrist from out of his grasp, bewildered by his sudden temperament.

"What am I doing? I'm asking you the same thing! I said I wanted to go out with you today, not the peanut gallery!"

"Hey, fuck you man!" On the other side of the door Yoongi cusses. Seokjin pays no attention to it as he's far too concerned with you.

"I'm sorry Jinnie—" you start, realizing he wanted this is be a date. "I ran into the guys on the way over and invited them because I thought we were just hanging out. The more the merrier..."

Seokjin's eyes widen, the vein in his neck slightly protruding. His eyebrows knit together too. "Hang out? Since when do we just hang out? Are you my girlfriend or not?"

"Of course I am—"

"Then why are you bringing them everywhere you go?! This isn't a polyamorous relationship, you know? We used to go out all the time but now I have to compete with five other men plus Jungkook!"

"Jungkook's a man!" Taehyung's baritone voice pipes.

"Shut up Tae, they're fighting in there," Hoseok shushes. "I really think we should leave. I feel odd standing out here."

"I second that," Yoongi turns to head to the elevator at the end of the hall.

"Oh, oh I think they're calming down now." Taehyung has his ear flushed against the apartment door. "I don't hear anything..."

"Yeah?" Hoseok leans his ear to the door too. Yoong watches them from a few feet away, arms crossed—he will not be one to fall into the door when it opens. "You're right," Hoseok speaks again. "It's dead silent in there."

From inside the apartment, Seokjin stares at you with his hands on his hips. His eyes rake up and down your body with a mix of pissed off and turned on. You look exceptionally stunning today, he observes.

"So this is all because you're jealous that I've been hanging out with your friends?"

"Yes, I'm jealous." Seokjin's hands fly up, further expressing his annoyance. "You're always too busy giggling with Jungkook or clinging onto Namjoon's biceps than going out with me, your boyfriend!"

"You are so exaggerating it. I'm just having some fun with them. And I'm not touching Namjoon's biceps so I don't know where that came from. Unless...." you narrow your eyes at the man. "You think they want to sleep with me don't you?"

"Well, why wouldn't they want you? Have you seen yourself?"

You'd be flattered by the compliment if you weren't already fuming at the fact your boyfriend is being so unbelievably unreasonable. "I can't believe you'd say that about your own friends Seokjin!" you say.

"I've known them longer than you have, so trust me. I know what I'm talking about okay?" Seokjin takes a deep breath. "I'm happy you're all friends. I just want to see you more..."

You sigh and walk up to him, hand reaching out to soothe him. "C'mon...we're just platonic. You know I love you right? I'd never do anything like that and they wouldn't either."

"I know. But fuck, you make me so crazy," he huffs and closes the distance with you. Rough hands press on your waist as he pulls you into himself. His plump lips lean down and kiss you with full force.

You let out a muffled whine and thread your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair. "Seokjin-"

He shuts you up with his tongue that pushes into your mouth, licking every crevice he can find. He gives your ass a little squeeze too, before walking you backward and against the couch.

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" You pant when you're given a breath.

"No," he says, forcing you to sit down on the soft cushions. "I'm still mad because it seems you've forgotten who your boyfriend is around here and need reminding."

"Oh, wait—" you say when he starts climbing on top of you until you have no choice but to lay on your back. "Shouldn't we deal with them first?" You flick your eyes to the door where the guys were still patiently waiting; eavesdropping more like.

Seokjin traces his thumb on the bottom of your lip with a dangerous smirk. "Well, you're the one who brought them here, didn't you? And they came for a movie, no?"

You slap his chest at his antics. "No, absolutely not. Get off me. I'll tell them to beat it myself."

a/n: hoping this was okay? Lmk 💗

Masterlist

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #seokjin x reader #seokjin imagine #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts au #bts imagines #fic:endoftheline #kookslastbutton #requests

[bts-0t-7]

BTS | KSJ | FIC RECS

The Collection of Seokjinnie. Hehe... I hope you guys enjoy the fics as much as I did. Don't forget to tell the authors your appreciation too - whether is it a like, a comment, or a follow - they'll be glad to hear from you 😊

Tonight, @liveyun (fluff , students au , romance)

Take you down, @lookingforluna (smut, fluff, romance, idol!au, established relationship!)

To kill a king, @foxymoxynoona (Historical Fantasy World, political conspiracy, romance)

Sit. Stay, @daechwitatamic (fluff, s2l, neighbors!au, baby angst for a quick minute?, smut)

Apples in February, @kth1 (Fluff, Smut, Angst, 21+, Werewolf!AU, One Shot)

Winter Whiskey, @kth1 (Established Relationship, Fluff, Smut, 18+)

Last November, @kithtaehyung (angst, smut, exes to lovers au)

The Obsidian Pearl, @angelicyoongie (yandere, descriptions of death/blood/violence)

Internal Conflicts, @yoongiofmine (Fluff, angst, smut, non idol au, step brother (not related, not raised together, not weird))

Paths Crossed, @borathae (Fantasy, s2l!AU, Romance, Smut)

#kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x oc #kim seokjin x oc #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #seokjin x you #kim seokjin x y/n #kim seokjin fic #kim seokjin smut #seokjin fanfic #seokjin scenarios #seokjin angst

[jeonbunnie]

i hate u, i love u

pairing: reader x seokjin

anon requested: “i hate u, I love u by gnash ft. olivia o'brien with jin an angst and smut. Y/N is jin's side chick but he always goes back to his gf... college au please”

summary: If loving Jin is wrong, you don’t wanna be right.

genre: friends to lovers; angst; smut; fwb; 18+

soundtrack: i hate u, I love u — gnash ft. olivia o'brien

content/warnings: best friend!seokjin; established relationship, college!au, unrequited love, swearing, dirty talk, unprotected sex

word count: 1k

♪ I hate you, I love you. I hate that I love you ♪

It was a mistake to sleep with your best friend. You hadn’t planned on ending your one-night stand together in anything but a night of pleasure. Jin was fresh out of a breakup, and it was messy and stupid, but you wanted to fix it for him, to take the pain away.

So when he kissed you, begging you to help him get over her—you didn’t hesitate. You kissed him back.

It was pity at first, and then lust, but soon after, much, much more than that.

Jin tasted like tears and salt and heartbreak. And every time he held your hand, had your back, or made you laugh,

And every kiss was a memory, a moment of passion brought to life with a new feeling.

Afterward, nothing was ever the same for you.

You loved him. And not like a friend.

Stupidly, when you started sleeping with Jin, you thought you would be unaffected. You knew what you were waking into. You weren’t a blushing virgin, and Jin wasn’t your time having a friend with benefits. You were a big girl; you could handle yourself. Or so you thought.

You both swore it wouldn’t happen again, but it did. And it became a habit. Every time things ended with Jin’s on-again-off-again girlfriend, you’d find him in your dorm, too late for his arrival to be anything more than casual sex.

And tonight was no different. So you let Jin sneak into your dorm and steal kisses in the dark, whispering sweet things into your ear, calling you darling, baby, angel. The words melted on his tongue as sweetly as they melted your heart.

It was a mistake to take him as a friend and lover. Nothing about hooking up with Jin was easy. You knew a part of him was using you, but the sex.

All day long, all you could think about was his kiss.

You waited for the moment he would grab you by the waist, his hot breath on your neck.

“Did you miss me?” He whispered as he caressed your body.

And when his hands slipped between your thighs to rub at that sweet spot while his mouth—god, his mouth—left wet kisses down your neck, how could you say anything else but yes?

You liked how he kissed you, how his plush lips moved smoothly against yours, tongue hot in your mouth.

“Yes,” you breathed. You liked how Jin touched you, rubbing sweet circles on your clit till you were a whining mess, till you couldn’t help but beg for more. And he’d give it to you, sliding his thick fingers inside you when you needed it most, fingering you just right, making you see stars.

You liked how he fucked you, slow and deep, cock pounding into you while his hands held thighs apart, giving full access to claim your body as he saw fit.

“Do you like it when I fuck you like this?” He’d tease, knowing you could only answer him with a moan.

He never really waited for an answer, preferring to swallow down your moans; each whimper of yours only drove him to move faster and deeper with every thrust till you lost your breath and mind.

You loved the feeling of him taking you completely, sliding his thick cock inside you. You didn’t know that he was stealing more than just your breath away.

He stole your heart, too.

And you let him, giving yourself to him every other night like an offering; your body is soft and pliant, like a ripe peach, ready for the taking. Jin was all too eager to take a bite. Little by little, piece by piece. Until let him have you whole.

And when you came back down from the high, body still trembling, Jin wasted no time scooping you into his arms, curling you into his body. You laid in his arms, sure you could have him like this forever.

But forever only lasted as long as it took for his girlfriend to apologize.

A ping on the bedside table brings you both

back to reality. Jin reached for his phone, trying to cover the light from the notification, but you didn’t have to see the message.

You already knew who it was from.

So why was it that this time, watching him put on his clothes in the middle of the night nearly broke your heart in two?

You stop him with a hand on his wrist before he can go. “Jin, don’t go.”

“What?”

“Don’t go. I want you to stay.”

You don’t say what you mean:

Please don’t go back to her.

Please stay with me.

The words are on your tongue, but too much time has passed for you to tell him how you feel. All you can do is hold on tight, desperate to keep him by your side.

Jin freezes in your hold. “You know I can’t do that…”

“Why?” you ask. “Why do you always go back to her, even when she’s the one that hurts you the most?”

It’s this question that made Jin face you. He sat on the bed, reaching over to cup your cheek. Despite yourself, you can’t help but lean into the touch like a lovesick puppy.

“Because I love her. I’ll always go to her.”

And though his touch is gentle, the words hit you like a slap because it was the truth.

“You understand, don’t you?”

That was the thing—you did—you understood him more than you wanted to.

You hated him for that. But not enough. Not enough to make you turn him away.

Jin would always go to her.

And you’d always wait for him.

You loved Jin more than you hated him. You might have loved him even more than he loved her.

No matter how many times he hurt you, no matter how many times he ran back to her, you would always wait for his return because Seokjin was the only man you ever truly loved.

Too bad he wasn’t yours.

#btshoneyhive #bangtanbathhouse #bts fanfic #seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #bts fic #bts scenario #song fic #jin drabble #jin x reader #jin angst #jin smut #jin fic #my fics.🍪 #req fill.📦

[yoongsisbae]

Meet Cute, Time Loop | KSJ

A story where Seokjin loves you before you love him before he loves you.

Fantasy AU. Seokjin x time traveler!reader

First of all, I never read the book The Time Traveler’s Wife. Okay, I did watch the movie with Rachel McAdams when I was a kid. And I started writing this before the HBO series, and got annoyed once I found out about it because I felt people would be like oh, you copied it, so I just stopped writing this story lol. But then with Seokjin’s enlistment news and now his b-day, I wanted to finish it for him ;_; So here you go, a story that is kind of sort of like Time Traveler’s Wife meets The Girl Who Leapt Through Time fueled by angst of not wanting him to leave :’D Enjoy!

Warnings: smut, age gap...in so many different ways...it's very complicated :’D, teacher/student, mention of unaliving, bigdick!seokjin because duh, oral sex, fingering, rough sex, praise kink

Word Count: 10.6k

---

Your first meeting with Seokjin wasn’t memorable. It was short and sweet, at a café on your college campus. He paid for your coffee. The coffee shop on campus was always busy, a long line at every hour and your card was embarrassingly not working in the card reader. You knew you were a broke college kid, but you definitely had enough for at least a coffee! You fumbled with your wallet offering the cashier your apologies when a man behind you stepped up to the counter and offered to pay, ordering a drink for himself as well. Embarrassed, you quickly tried to stop him, but he gave you a kind smile that stopped you in your tracks and he told you not to worry. 

He was a professor, you were a student.

And he was already in love with you.

-

You find a quiet corner in the library to finish homework for your upcoming class, always the procrastinator. Looking up from your notes, you see the same stunning man again, now taking a seat across from you. The library was massive but somehow he went to this floor, this section, this corner, and decided to finish his class lecture notes at the same table as you.

You try not to be distracted every time he pushes his glasses up with a cute wrist flick, coughing and turning the page to one of his books. You stifle a laugh and continue going over your notes. But when you look up again, you notice he’s watching you. Suddenly self conscious from the attention, you smile back, jittery and timid. This man is perfectly put together and you look like you just rolled out of bed. Probably because you did, because for some reason, you had thought it was a good idea to schedule a morning class (it is always a bad idea). Hence, the coffee.

You meet him again that day.

You were hurrying to class, books in your hand, still sorting through notes when you stepped off the sidewalk. People around you were still moving, you thought you had time. 

You weren’t paying attention.

Strong hands grip your shoulder and pull you back onto the sidewalk as a car horn signals, a bus zooming by you as you fall back into a warm body.

“Oh my god, I didn’t mean t-to – I wasn’t – I’m Sorry!”

“Whoa there, you’re okay, you’re okay.” Seokjin holds you steady until you stop shaking. Until you realize he’s the same man who paid for your coffee, who kept distracting you from your homework with his good looks, who doesn’t look familiar but feels familiar.

“Hey,” he smiles.

---

Seokjin’s first meeting with you happened when he was four years old. You were old – not your oldest – but older than you are now. 

The first time you slipped through the cracks of time, you had really fallen. 

You were on stage, amongst actors and directors and people infinitely more famous and important than you. But you were with them, having written the screenplay for the movie premiering that night. You were on a high stage, in the back, applauding everyone’s achievements. How it happened, no one knew, even with the hundreds of cameras, videos at every angle pointing at the stage at that moment...

You felt a tug, or perhaps a push; someone bumping into you or a fissure in the floor or you stumbling over your long dress or all three. It all happened so fast, it all culminating in one chaotic moment in time that left you falling.

Falling.

You fell head-over-heels, you slipped right over the stage barrier behind you.

You fell...

You fell into the sand, your silver sequined dress sparkling under the sunlight. Did you just die?

You can’t remember hitting the ground, your arm caught the edge and you held onto the stage for only seconds, it happened so quickly no one could get to you before the ledge slipped between your fingers. You were unprepared, unable to hold your body weight, and then your stomach lurched up and you felt the world slow down. 

Life didn’t flash before your eyes like people said it would, not at all. All you could think about was, no, not yet, no! You didn’t want to die, not when your life was just starting, when your career was just becoming something! You wanted to live, you wanted to find love, you wanted-

“Help!”

Do people need help in heaven?

Oh no…

But you’re pretty sure you aren’t in hell either. What is this place?

A...beach?! You take one deep breath, standing up when you hear the call for help again. 

You run towards the yelling, your heels digging into the sand and slowing you down with each step. There’s a young child crying, “My little brother!” 

You see a child even younger struggling in the water, and then you don’t see him at all. 

So without any other thought or question, you just act, running towards the ocean. You pull your body through the waves, moving quickly, diving underwater over and over again until you find him. You pull the drowning little boy from under the water, holding him close and patting his back.

He’s crying, that’s good, that means he can breathe, that he’s okay for now. If you hadn’t been there he surely would have drowned.

You swim towards the shore, cradling him close. Pulling your body out of the waves, your dress heavy with sea water, you put him down next to his brother, pushing the wet hair out of his eyes. “You’re okay now, you’re okay.” you whisper, trying to calm him down. He looks up at you awe-like.

‘What a sweet little boy with big innocent eyes,’ you think. “Where are your parents?” You ask his brother.

“B-Back at the house,” he cries.

You smiled at the cute pair, sighing in relief, and then before you could do anything else, you felt a pull...

Starting right under your belly button, a pull so strong it felt like a punch to your stomach, knocking the wind out of you, and your body started falling backwards. 

You fell backwards into the crowd below, right into Seokjin’s arms. 

He was invited by one of the actors at the premiere, his long time friend. With his looks he could fit right in with the celebrities, but he didn’t like big crowds and chose to stay in the back. Right in the exact spot where you needed him. When everyone looked on in horror, when others scattered, he looked up and saw you and knew what he had to do.

You try to catch your breath, gasping. Suddenly thrown back into the chaos of the premiere, flashing lights only amplifying your dizziness and confusion. You look down at the arms around you, and up into your savior’s face. “S-Seokjin?!”

Your dress was soaked, your hair was wet, your body was still shaking as he held you close. You both laid on the red carpet and the sight was too incredible for photographers not to turn and aim their cameras right at the pair of you.

“Y/n,” he smiles softly. Then, stands up quickly, carrying you in his arms as staff rush to conceal the spectacle, and you felt swept off your feet for a second time that night.

---

When Seokjin first saw you, he thought you were an angel. Your shiny sequined dress was sparkling in the sunlight, blinding him. Your soft voice telling him he would be okay sounded ethereal to his water clogged ears, the sight of you on the beach was something he never forgot even at his young age. 

His parents later found him alone on the beach. His brother ran to them and told them what happened, but they never found you. They believed their children made up the story, a consequence of their overactive imaginations, but couldn’t deny the signs of Seokjin’s condition, immediately taking him to the hospital and finding out there was some truth to their tall tale.

The second time Seokjin met you he was six. He was older and you were older. Much older, a small gray streak apparent in the front of your hair. He almost didn’t recognize you, but your voice was the same, soft and kind, and your eyes were the same, caring and beautiful. 

Six year old Seokjin still thought you were an angel deep down, someone sent to come save him, even if his older brother stopped believing and told him to quiet any time Seokjin brought it up.

And his feelings only solidified because the second time he met you you had grabbed his tiny hand and pulled him back onto the sidewalk. He watched as his ball was flattened by a car. It could have been him, he stood stunned. You were slower, your limbs weaker, but you saved him. 

You felt it was your time to leave again. “Y/n, my name is y/n.”

“Don’t leave me,” he cried and clung to your dress.

You smooth down his hair, tutting. You sigh, heart hurting because you knew he was going to be upset with you later. “We’ll find each other again, sweetheart, don’t worry.”

The next time Seokjin crossed paths with you, you were the same age as when he first met you, same shiny dress, a jacket now over your shoulders, looking around confused and lost.

He called out your name, waving you over enthusiastically.

You hesitantly went over to the over-zealous boy. “I’m – um – w-what’s going on?!”

“You’re here to save me again,” he smirks proudly.

“I-I am?”

“Yeah, I think so. Every time I meet you, you save me.” Young Seokjin was definitely convinced you were his guardian angel.

“I-I think I am going crazy. Am I going crazy?” You fall to the ground at the boy’s feet, exhausted, dizzy, definitely delirious. 

He yanks on your arm, wanting you to move, whining for you to get up. Why does he look so familiar? If you hadn’t just been in his arms you would have never made the connection… This boy could be Seokjin’s son, they look so identical, too identical. “S-Seokjin?”

“You do know me!”

“This can’t be happening. No no no no.” You look at the young boy, mind reeling. This has to be a dream. You must have fainted. The last thing you remember, Seokjin was with you, and-

You put your head in your hands, willing yourself to wake up.

You feel small hands pull at your shoulder. “Get uuup! Let’s go!”

“W-What?”

“My mom will be worried if I don’t go home. I’m not supposed to stay out late,” he whines.

You let the boy pull you along, hunched over and confused. Everything looked different, older, different clothes, different cars. You try not to hyperventilate.

He stops in front of his house, creaking open the door and looking around for his mom. “Go to the back, I’ll meet you there!” he says, pushing you to the side.

This is a bad idea. But you have nobody else and you’re ninety percent certain you’re dreaming. So you hide in the bushes in Seokjin’s back yard, dumbfounded, waiting to wake up.

“Here, I brought you some food. D-Do angels eat food?” He pulls a meat bun and a half-eaten kimbap from under his shirt. 

“Eh?”

You looked really lost, maybe you hit your head coming back to him this time, Seokjin wonders. Little hands cover your forehead, checking your temperature and you flinch.

“I-I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what’s happening to me...” You begin to cry.

Seokjin winces, “Wait here!” and a few moments later he comes back with his older brother, “See, told you.”

“Whoa.”

“Now do you believe me?” Seokjin says accusingly, crossing his arms.

“Do you, um, remember us?” Seokjin’s brother asks, looking at you with a mixture of awe and worry. You look at him bewilderedly, tears still falling steadily from your eyes. “Do you remember when you saved my brother?”

You look between the pair, staring up at their big innocent eyes. Wait…wait. What?!

“You saved my life,” Seokjin says proudly, but then he recoils, noticing your bewilderment. “D-Don’t you remember? Y/n?”

“Y-You know my name,” you whisper.

“You told me, the last time you saved me,” Seokjin states.

You pull on Seokjin’s jacket, covering yourself. “You’re talking about the beach, right?” you mutter. Of course, this was all a dream, it was all merging together now, you think.

Seokjin smiles wide, nodding, ecstatic you do remember him.

“Should we tell mom?” Seokjin’s brother asks.

“No!” “No!” you and Seokjin say at the same time. “I will leave,” you say. “I’ll go…somewhere…” You mutter, hoping you wake up soon.

“No, you can’t! You’re-” Seokjin pauses. “You’re supposed to be my guardian angel.”

You swallow hard, deliberating on what to do, the young boy looks like he is going to cry at any moment. Well, since this is a dream, then you guess you should be acting the part. “Oh, o-okay.”

“D-Do angels sleep?”

You laugh, sighing. That’s what you’re doing right now, you want to tell him. 

-

Seokjin shakes you awake. “I have to go to school. You’re coming aren’t you?”

You groan, sleeping outside in your dreams seemed to hurt even more than you would have imagined. Even with the blanket and pillow Seokjin gave you, you barely slept, replaying the last twenty-four hours over and over in your head.

“C’mon! You’re supposed to be my guardian angel, how are you supposed to guard me here?” He says, dejected.

You sigh. “O-Okay.”

You hug your shoulders, pulling Seokjin’s jacket closer to you. The hem of your dress is tied up, your feet are hurting in your heels. Young Seokjin tells you everything about his life so far. His friends found a cat and were taking turns to feed it. He had a tuna can in his tiny hand. He told you about his friends and his older brother, his mom and father. He talked about his teacher, who was so boring he couldn’t concentrate in class. He got in trouble for napping, he explained. You listened to the troubles of a child, barely concentrating, your own thoughts too jumbled in your mind. Seokjin talked and talked until a small orange stray cat leaped into your path.

You watched as he opened and set the can down on the sidewalk. The cat pounced on the food, hungrily eating the entirety of the tuna can. You smile as Seokjin pets his fluffy coat, cooing. You pulled off your heels, rubbing your feet. “You’re a good kid.”

Young Seokjin laughs, a sense of pride washing over him. He can’t wait to show you off to his friends. He hears something fall to the ground, your shoe, and when he looks up again, you’re gone.

---

The next time Seokjin met you, you appeared in his room. He couldn’t help but laugh. You were in a silk robe, looking lost and confused again. Falling into his tiny bed, he looks over his shoulder.

“Hey angel.” Seokjin looked exactly how you remembered him, only his features were less rugged from old age, instead young and soft.

“Seokjin?” You look into his red eyes, puffy from crying. 

There was an unopened bottle of alcohol on his night stand, next to a bottle of…white pills?

“W-What’s going on?”

“Well, I guess, you’ve come to tell me not to kill myself,” he says with a weak smile.

Your eyes begin to sting as tears start pooling in the corners, looking at the offending contents on his nightstand again to make sure indeed nothing had yet been opened. Your voice shakes as you ask him, “W-Why?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried, I tried so hard,” he whimpers, pulling his pillow closer and curling into himself. “I keep disappointing everyone. My mom...” he stifles a sob.

When were you? You look around frantically, studying his tiny dorm room. College, Seokjin is in college now. You fall to your knees at his bedside, your heart aching for him. 

You hold his hand in yours, “You don’t disappoint her, you never have. You can’t do this. I won’t let you-”

Seokjin sits up, yanking his hand away. “Where have you been?” Seokjin’s voice breaks. “You never came back! Even when I needed you. I was all alone…” 

When Seokjin was a kid he would wait for you. Walk slowly to and from school. Every day, he would hope his angel would appear. And then when you didn’t, he still held hope. He waited for you, every other day, and then once a week, until he stopped waiting all together, but even still, he thought about his angel every day. 

As a teenager he thought he must have made you up, an imaginary friend for a lonely child… 

But he had your shoe. 

The older he got, the angrier he became. Crayon drawings of you in angel wings turned into resentful memories. By then you were just a faint memory, a woeful thought, and a fantasy when he was really lonely. 

Seokjin went through life a little less hopeful then. He went to tutoring and classes and sports and singing lessons, all to please his parents, who wanted nothing but the best for the child they almost lost. His superstitious mother believed he was destined for great things. 

But all those great things never happened. He had the looks, but the girls he grew up with didn’t really like him for who he was, they didn’t laugh at his jokes or like doing the mundane things he liked to do. They would parade him in front of their friends to show off and he felt used, misunderstood, broken hearted more times than he could count.

He had the intellect, but he lacked the motivation, he would become too distracted with games or get lost in his imagination, and assignments would pile up and then he would feel overwhelmed, crippled by all his duties. 

He had the build to become a top athlete, but he would too often hurt himself, his aching joints and broken bones stopped him from ever reaching any professional status. No matter what he did, he felt like a failure. And in this low moments, he thought, maybe then he would find some guidance, some help. But it never came, you never came to him.

Seokjin had what it took to become great, everyone told him so, but in his mind he just wasn’t. Their expectations were all becoming too much to live up to. He felt overshadowed by even his own brother. He felt his confidence dwindle, his hope growing smaller and smaller, it was like an endless loop he couldn’t free himself from. He couldn’t save himself.

He needed you.

He was in his last year of university and he hated his classes, he didn’t know if he was going to graduate. He didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. So he thought, might as well end it.

“You’re going to leave again, like you always do. So leave! Leave me alone, just let me die,” he cries, pushing you away.

“Oh, Seokjin,” you wrap your arms around him, refusing to let him go. Hugging him close, you cry in each other’s arms. 

He still smells exactly the same, moves the same, has the same nervous ticks, after all these years. Your sweet husband Seokjin. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there when you needed me, I’m so sorry,” you whisper. “But you’re not going to die today. You’re going to live a wonderful life, you’re going to be happy, you won’t be alone. I won’t let you be alone anymore. Trust me, believe me.”

“How do you know that?” Seokjin asks desperately. He holds your head in his hands, studying your features under the low light in his dorm. “Y-You…look different.”

You laugh softly, blinking away your remaining tears. “I hope not that different.”

He holds your cheeks, thumb caressing your skin. “You’re not wearing that dress…” He looks over the thin material of your robe, the low cut of it, showing off your cleavage. You feel so real and human in his hold, so warm, so familiar. 

Growing up, in his child-like wonder and imagination, Seokjin remembered you almost goddess-like. Something untouchable, reverent, but now that you’re here with him again as a young adult, you felt so small and vulnerable next to him, raw and real. He found you beautiful in your vulnerability.

“I’ve never seen you like this before. If you’re not an angel then what are you?” You stay quiet against him. “Why do you keep finding me? ”

“I don’t know if it’s the right time to explain this to you.”

Seokjin chuckles, “I was going to kill myself tonight. I think now is the best time to explain things.” You wince hearing his confession. “Please, I…I’ve waited so long to see you again.”

You feel splintered by his words. You wish you had control of this, you wish you could have gone to see him earlier and told him not to wait. Seokjin was waiting for the wrong version of you. 

Waiting only drew it out, the inevitability, it was torturous to wait. Moments with Seokjin were going to always happen and would always have been. The way time worked around you, it wasn’t time that was changing, forward and backward for you moved in the same direction. That was never going to change, only you and Seokjin changed. 

“I can’t control what is happening to me,” you sigh, leaning your forehead on his. “I don’t know why this is happening…to us. I’m sorry, when we meet again, I won’t remember you, because I haven’t met you yet.”

“But you-”

You shake your head no. “You’ve already met me, but I haven’t met you. Seokjin, how old are you right now?” 

Seokjin continues to caress your face, mesmerized. Seokjin can’t bring himself to let go of you, not when you’re here after all these years. After a decade of convincing himself you weren’t real, only to be so tangible now, so close he can smell you, with the same beautiful eyes he almost had forgotten.

You look at him so full of care as always, except now, as he stared into your eyes, face to face, your gaze held something that reached inside of him, that burned into his soul. The adoring way you looked at him made his weak dejected self feel strong again.  

When your eyes looked across his features, down his body, he felt something surge inside of him, feelings he had always held close to his heart. You were an idolization to him growing up, but here you were, a mere woman staring at him like he was your world instead.

And suddenly Seokjin thought he might have the answer he was looking for, looking down at your hands resting in your lap, a gold band around on your ring finger, and a gem that sent him back to his childhood, looking through his mother’s things. He thought back to the grayness in your hair and back to your lost younger looking self. But the answer in his head sounded so unbelievable he had to hear you say it.

“I’m turning twenty-three.”

“Twenty-three,” you repeat, nodding, working the math out in your head, “Right now I would be…eighteen. But I’m thirty-three. And when I go back to where I came from, back to you, you’ll be thirty-eight.”

“And…the next time I see you again, you’ll be?” he asks, putting the pieces of your lives together.

You smile, “Twenty-two. I meet you when I’m twenty-two. You saved my life,” you smile wider, “and bought me coffee.”

“I save you?” he asks, eyes widening.

“And bought me coffee. Don’t forget,” you giggle. “Seokjin, I’m sorry it’s not going to get easier. I’m going to be much more difficult to convince,” you sigh. “But trust me, you still have so much more to live for.”

“Y/n, are w-we together…in the future?” 

One look at you and Seokjin knew the answer even in your silence.

So he wasted no more time. 

Seokjin kissed you, immediately, fervently, with love and passion not even yet experienced by him, but he felt it already inside him anyways, as if his love could travel across time even when you couldn’t.

You broke his kiss, “It’s not time yet to-” you whisper, trying to give this version of him space, he wasn’t yours to kiss yet.

“But we are together, in the future, aren’t we? You’re my wife,” he glances down at the gold band on your finger, reaching in for another kiss.

“We’re not married right now,” you push against his chest when he closes the small distance between you again.

“But you’re still my wife,” he grunts, lips against the side of your jaw.

“Not yet, Seokjin,” you close your eyes, thinking of your husband as Seokjin’s eager hands caress your body.

“I love you.”

“We haven’t even met yet! Not really. We haven’t dated-”

“I love you, I know I love you.”

You exhale defeatedly. “I love you too, but not this version of you, you’re still a baby-”

“But I-I’m me!” Seokjin laughs incredulously. “And I'm a man,” he says, offended.

You sigh, not knowing how to explain to him the intricacies of your relationship. “How would you feel knowing your wife was kissing a different version of you?”

“I would be totally okay with it,” Seokjin says stubbornly, head buried in your neck.

“Seokjin I’m older than you-”

“Is that supposed to matter to me?” He holds you tightly, afraid you’ll disappear from his life and he’d have to wait four more years before he could hold you like this again. No, you weren’t going to leave him until he proved to you how much he loved you, how he always loved you.

He kisses you again, pulling you into his bed. He refuses to listen to your excuses, he loves you and you love him and that’s enough for him. He traces the contours of your face down to your jaw, admiring every inch of you, enjoying your rapidly increasing breathes and the affect he has on you.

He moves his hand over your heart, on top of your breast. “Have you-” you put your hand over his. “-had sex before?” you ask.

“Yes,” Seokjin says indignantly, ears going red.

You giggle, “Good, don’t stop once I leave. You have four years before we find each other again, promise you won’t wait for me anymore? Enjoy your life, we’ll have our time, so don’t worry anymore, Seokjin.”

Seokjin swallows, not wanting to agree with you. “Alright. If tonight…you’ll be with me.” You hold his cheek. Stubborn man, ‘like always,’ you think, smiling. You answer him with a kiss. 

Seokjin could feel your breasts, only covered by the sheer fabric of your robe, pressed up against him. He shuddered in your embrace, lips moving down your neck, across your chest, pressing his face into your cleavage.

What are you supposed to do when a younger version of your husband was timidly fondling your body, starved for love and affection? Up until now, you had always been the more submissive one in your relationship. Your husband has always been doting in his affection, but this level of tenderness, sweet infatuation with you was so unfamiliar, yet so your Seokjin.

You run your hands in his hair, holding him to your chest as he pulls your robe down lower. 

“You didn’t tell me about this day,” you gasp, chest heaving as his mouth covers your breast, tongue rolling over your nipple and sucking.

‘Good,’ Seokjin thinks about his older self, vowing to keep his silence on the matter until the day he dies. If this is the result, he wants nothing to change it. He unties your robe delicately, like opening a present he’s waited his entire life for.

Seokjin pulls his shirt over his head hastily, wanting to feel your skin on his, needing you closer. You kiss him slowly, opening your mouth wider for him as he fumbles with his buckle. 

His cock is painfully erect, knocking against his stomach when he finally frees himself, all the blood rushing down in his excitement, Seokjin can barely think straight with you under him, your legs spread open and naked.

You help guide him in, licking his chest, tongue rolling over his nipple, already knowing all the things he likes. Seokjin shudders, groaning in pleasure as he sinks into your heat, lost in bliss. He thrusts into your sex quick and rough. This version of Seokjin is impatient, needy...uncoordinated…

You don’t mind. 

You throw your head back, encouraging him on, moaning his name. Seokjin thrusts in deep, he certainly had the stamina of a twenty-two year old, and the clumsiness. You pull him down by the neck, licking into his mouth until his pace slows, unable to concentrate on anything else. He kneads your breast, rutting into you.

You break away for much needed air, fixing the loose strands of Seokjin’s hair and tucking them behind his ear. Kissing his cheek, you whisper into his ear, “My turn.” You cant your hips up, ordering him to switch positions.

“Oh f-fuck,” Seokjin moans at the way you pull yourself up slowly and drop down hard and fast, rotating your hips. This was nothing like the sex he had with young inexperienced college girls. “Oh god.” 

His fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs, as he thrusts up into your inviting heat. You grab his hands, holding them above his head instead, slowing your rhythm as he hisses, thigh muscles tightening as he concentrates on the pleasure he’s receiving.

He looks devastatingly handsome, his hair longer than you remember, shaggy and sticking to his forehead, leaner body writhing under you as his head tilts back, showing off his strong jaw and long neck. You moan, knowing he’s close, you’ve seen all these same jerks and spasms during many and many nights together. You tighten around his thick length, fingers touching his plump lips and pressing down into his open mouth.

“Fuck, fuck-ungh-I’m g-gonna-”

You pull yourself up one last time before gripping his length. Moving yourself down his body, you cover his cock with your mouth, licking up his shaft.

Seokjin pants, wound up so tightly, unable to hold it in any longer. His fingers tangle themselves into your hair, pushing you all the way down the length of his cock and then pulling you off, holding you still. 

He burns the image in his brain, your kiss-bitten lips, eyes darkened with lust, mouth open for him, spurts of his cum dripping down your cheeks, fuck, he’s glad he’s still alive… 

-

“I love you. Every time. Every where,” you whisper, looking at Seokjin sleeping against you, his handsome features softened in his slumber. Seokjin snores, waking up with a drowsy hum.

“Seokjin, what’s your major?” you yawn into his chest.

“Business and Finance,” he murmurs, half-asleep, holding you lightly in his embrace.

You snort softly, moving the hair out of his eyes. “Get a degree in teaching and become a professor’s aid here. It will help pay for the extra classes you’ll need.”

“Teaching?”

You nod. “You’ll love teaching, trust me,” you smile.

“My mother won’t like that,” Seokjin frowns.

“That’s not true, also, you’re not going to be a professor forever,” you grin.

“What am I going to do?” Seokjin asks curiously. You shake your head, “You’ll figure it out, don’t worry. Please, don’t worry yourself this much again,” you say more seriously, glancing over at the things on his nightstand one last time. “Promise me?”

His fingers tighten around yours reassuringly and he brings your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “I won’t. The hardest part was not knowing…now the hard part is over,” Seokjin smiles rolling over to his side and pulling you in closer.

You were afraid for Seokjin the hardest part was just beginning.

When Seokjin woke up the next morning you were gone.

And you woke up in his arms again. His lips automatically find yours, waking up with a drowsy hum, your husband Seokjin kisses you deeply.

“You didn’t tell me-”

“It was a secret I was going to take the grave,” he murmurs, half-asleep, holding you lightly in his embrace.

You nibble on his neck, pressing yourself closer, needy for him; the version of him that knows all your turn ons and how to drive you wild with pleasure, that can skillfully bring you to ecstasy over and over, who you love more than anyone in the world. Every where. Every time. You call out his name in a whiny moan.

Oh, Seokjin’s glad he’s still alive.

---

---

What…What happened? 

You feel like a freight train ran over and flattened you. Warm hands trail across your jawline, forcing your eyes open.

“S-Seokjin?” you wince, sitting up. Where were you? You and Seokjin were tucked away in the theater’s breakroom, hidden away from cameras and curious premiere-goers. “What are you doing here?”

“I was invited. The second lead, um, Kim Taehyung, invited me, it was supposed to be a surprise…” he laughs awkwardly. “Your dress…” he smiles softly, wiping the sand off.

You grab his wrist, stopping him from touching you any further, already hot in the face from where he brushed the sand off your lap. “M-My head-”

“It’s okay, you’re going to be okay-”

“What h-happened?” you ask in disbelief. You were just on a beach, weren’t you?

“You need to calm down-”

“I was – I fell and I-I don’t know – there was a b-beach?!” You feel like the world is spinning, about to pass out again. You fall against Seokjin, failing to stand up.

You look around. This isn’t real. Everything feels weird and off. You were just on a beach! You feel the salt itch your skin still, your hair is still damp. This isn’t possible. This isn’t real.

“So you didn’t even know…”

You shiver, hugging your body, realizing you had his jacket wrapped around your shoulders. You wince, lifting your head up from his chest. “I need to go…I need to-” you spot an open door leading to a bathroom and you push yourself up.

“Wait!”

You push him away, stumbling into the bathroom and shutting the door. But before you can lock it-

Seokjin chases after you. He opens the door and you’re already gone.

---

This is the third time this weird professor has rushed to your side once you reached the barista’s counter and paid for your drink. You finally snap at him when he takes a seat across from you again. He was stalking you! It was impossible this was a coincidence, instead of sitting at your usual spot on the third floor, you took the elevator to the fifth, finding the furthest open spot you could find, tucked away behind bookshelves.

“Did you want something?!” you yell, being shushed by others.

“Huh? No?”

You glare at him, hot in the face. “You’re following me.”

He adjusts his glasses nervously. “No? I’m not-”

“You are! You are,” you say quieter. “I can pay for my own coffee, you don’t have to keep doing that. Thank you, but just s-stop!”

“I’m sorry!” he whispers. “I...I wanted to ask you the first time I f– met you, but I…chickened out. I think you’re really beautiful and I really wanted to get to know you more and…will you go on a date with me?”

“Eh?” 

“A date,” he says a matter-of-factly.

“I…” Is he really asking you out on a date? “I don’t date professors.”

Even if he’s devastatingly handsome, quite possibly the most breathtaking man you’ve ever encountered, the feelings you felt when your eyes locked felt stronger than mere attraction. Emotions you weren’t used to strummed across the strings of your heart. Whenever you looked at Seokjin, the tug you felt pulling at the pit of your stomach felt too strong to ignore and it frightened you. It...weirded you out! 

“Then I’ll quit,” he mutters something softly to himself you don’t quite catch, something about not planning on teaching forever.

“Are you on drugs?”

“N-No!” he pauses, recollecting himself. “Please, y/n, let me take you out, just one date.”

You stand up, letting the chair scrape loudly within the quiet study space as it’s pushed back. “H-How do you know my name?!”

“Your name? I, um, I, uh, I saw it on your coffee cup! The first day we…um, met.”

He’s obviously lying. You close your binder, gathering your homework. “Stay away from me,” you hiss, making sure to whisper as to not bother those around you.

“Wait!” he grabs you by the arm, pulling you back to him. “Please.”

You swallow, frozen by his intense pleading gaze. “Let me go or I’ll scream,” you whisper.

His hand cups your cheek. You look down at his wrist, the warmth of his fingers spreading over your skin, Why does he touch you like that? Why does it bring up these feelings you’ve never felt before? What is happening?!

You pull away, walking quickly, no, it definitely looked like running as Seokjin watched you flee. He stops himself from running after you, frowning. His approach was definitely not working. He runs a hand through his hair, cracking his neck, wondering how the hell your relationship could possibly progress to anything close to a marriage when you looked like you wanted to jump out of your skin anytime Seokjin came close to you.

‘It’s okay,’ he tells himself. Seokjin has you in his life now, your “meetings” would be on his terms now. 

He was a successful drama professor, many of his students went on to work in movies and television. Instead of letting his worries consume him, he found himself learning how to live in the moment, because after all, he wasn’t the one who had the ability to change the past...and the future, even if he wasn’t so sure there was a flexibility to that either, he looked forward to it. So despite your retreating figure, he smiled.

-

“Can you please stop following me?!” You hold your books close to your chest after bumping into Seokjin in front of his next class.

“I’m not,” Seokjin defensively, readjusting his briefcase, red in the face, “We just keep running into each other-”

“You expect me to believe that when I’ve been on this campus for two years and now suddenly y-you’re everywhere I go. L-Like you are just…appearing out of thin air!”

Seokjin looks down, chuckling. “Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something?”

You pause. “The universe doesn’t care about us that much,” you mutter, turning away.

Seokjin pulls you back. Seokjin blinks, watching you as you keep your eyes low, unable to meet his own out of shyness. “Instead of a date, let's just…go out as friends?”

“Friends?”

Seokjin nods. “Yeah, if we keep running into each other like this, at least it won’t be so awkward anymore.”

You slowly nod, agreeing. 

---

Seokjin waits until he hears a thump in the bathroom, something falling onto the floor. He pushes the door open wider, finding your shaking figure on the floor.

“H-How is this possible?” It was supposed to be a dream. You look down at your bare foot. If it wasn’t a dream, then that means…

You look up at Seokjin, now older, but with the same innocent eyes...

“I don’t know, but I’m happy I was able to save you again. You saved me so many times I just stopped questioning it,” Seokjin smiles, bending down and reaching for you.

You look down to his arm, his hand on your cheek. You don’t know how to react, overwhelmed. “Y-You knew about this the whole time?”

“I tried to tell you sooner, I didn’t know how…” he looks down at your sequined dress, unable to keep his emotions from resurfacing.

“Seokjin…I’m scared,” you feel tears well up in your eyes too, horrified at what could happen to you now.

“You don’t have to be scared,” he reassures you, hugging you. “I don’t think it happens very often. You find me six more times before now.”

“You? I go to you again?” you ask anxiously. Seokjin nods, “Why?”

Seokjin laughs softly. “You save my life.”

“Like the beach?” you murmur.

Seokjin nods, not wanting to tell you the whole truth. “Yeah, like the beach.” He fixes the collar of his coat around you, “My guardian angel.” He sends you a timid half grin, so cute you couldn’t help but laugh, drying your tears on his coat sleeve.

The premiere actually went really well after the initial chaos. You and Seokjin found seats in the back of the movie theater. Pretending something life changing didn’t just happen to you, you sat through the movie, trying to enjoy the product of your hard work. You skipped the after party, in favor of burgers and a milkshake, not wanting to deal with any more craziness. Big parties like that were never your thing anyways.

“I need a shower,” you scratch your head, taking a big bite of your burger.

You and Seokjin found a seat on top a pier, listening to the waves. He eats his fries. “My hotel is only a couple blocks from here, we can go there if you want.”

“Thank you,” you fix his hair, blown out of place by the wind. 

You sigh. Seokjin was always sweet to you, helped you more times than you could count in college. And now that you knew the reason why, you feel uneasy. “You know, you don’t have to do this anymore, feel like you owe me something because I saved your life.”

“Hey, I saved you a couple times too, didn’t I?” he teases.

“Yeah,” you laugh. You still felt guilty. Seokjin was your best friend. You can’t believe you became best friends with the child you saved. 

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, thinking of the start to your odd friendship. “You were trying to tell me when we first met, right? I was horrible to you back then, I’m sorry,” you pout.

“Yeah,” Seokjin lies. “Why were you so mean to me back then?” he bumps your shoulder with his.

You bite your lip, looking at the dark rolling waves. Throughout the movie you couldn’t pay attention, thinking back on everything you experienced, replaying the moments you and Seokjin had gone through. Once you warmed up to him, it was easier to push those initial feelings away. Seokjin was your good friend, a mentor, if it weren’t for him, you’re not too sure you would have made it to where you were now, an accomplished writer. 

Seokjin was handsome, kind, sweet, funny. He was the perfect man. You didn’t deserve him. Deep down you knew that, and you didn’t want to lose him. Seokjin asked you out a couple times after your first meeting, and you always refused him, because you knew you loved him too much to risk a relationship. Growing up your relationships never worked out, you were always left heartbroken. If you were to date him, it would be too devastating to lose him. 

“Well, you did follow me around like a creepy stalker,” you joke, trying to avoid the truth.

Seokjin scoffs, sipping on his milkshake.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “Being around you scared me-”

“What?!” Seokjin yells.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! I think maybe, I felt something, like maybe deep down I knew something was different about you. It scared me,” you sigh. “The feelings…” you look up at his wide eyes, “N-Not feelings! I mean…emotions? I don’t know what I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, drinking your milkshake.

Seokjin stays silent and looks away, finishing his burger. 

“Y/n, will you go on a date with me?”

“If this is about me saving your life-”

Seokjin scoffs, smirking, “It’s about me loving you since the first time I saw you.”

“Seokjin…” He can’t mean that, he can’t.

What do you even say to something like that? By saving his life did you end up ruining it? He was just an impressionable boy, but even after years of knowing him in his adulthood, Seokjin still honestly believes that? 

“Just one date,” Seokjin swallows, determined “and I’ll never ask you again.”

“Just one date,” you whisper, barely able to use your voice, unease washing over you.

Seokjin smiles wide, undoing his tie, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders.

Finally.

---

Seokjin texts you he’s on his way. 

Oh god, oh god oh god oh god.

You fix your hair for the hundredth time tonight. 

This was a horrible, horrible idea. Everything about this was weird. You shouldn’t be doing this. You check your clock. Is there time to back out? 

You were afraid there was no way to stop this without Seokjin hating you, he’s been so patient up until this point, never becoming angry with you when you refused his advances. But now you feel you’ve reached the tipping point. Could he forgive you if you changed your mind? 

But the thought of him giving up on you and pursuing someone else, made your insides twist. You know he deserves someone better, someone who wasn’t anxious all the time, who wasn’t too scared to show affection, someone without a short temper, someone who looked as beautiful as him, and most importantly, someone who did not have a condition where she fell through time!

-

Seokjin texts you he’s on his way.

No answer.

Seokjin calls you. 

No answer.

He knocks on your door.

No answer.

Seokjin knocks harder.

“Hey love.”

Seokjin turns around, bumping right into you. You crash your lips into his, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Seokjin goes mute. You’re wearing a tight dress, hair made up, diamond jewelry around your neck, a present Seokjin gave you on your anniversary.

You look beautiful. But Seokjin can tell you’re not the same woman. You’re more mature, more relaxed around him. 

“C’mon, we have a date tonight, right?” You grab him by the jacket, pulling him into another kiss. It was wild and heated, Seokjin could taste alcohol on your lips.

“Y-Y/n?! You’re from the future!”

“You bend down, pulling up the door mat, holding up a spare key. “I don’t think I’ll mind if I take a visit.”

“Where’s my y/n?” You pull him into your dark apartment. “W-What if you come home.”

“I won’t,” you smile, putting the key on top of your counter, and touch the calendar pinned to your wall, at the date. “Tonight I’m already-” you lift the calendar up to December, “-around four years later, here. And I’m here.”

“You’re…around the same age as me right now.”

You smile, biting your lip, nodding, your eyes sparkling. 

You jump on your kitchen counter, winking at him. You’re a little drunk and you’re missing your anniversary dinner. You hope your Seokjin isn’t mad at you, but you’re sure he will understand. You’ll make it up to him when you get back. If you were brought here, it meant Seokjin needed you.

“This was supposed to be our first date,” Seokjin says breathlessly. 

“That’s right,” you hold your hand out. “I was a nervous wreck,” you laugh, remembering. Maybe it was you who really had needed the help. “Ahh I remember now.”

“So, I guess that means I get a second date,” he holds your hand, letting you pull him in.

“Oh you get many dates,” you whisper into his mouth, lips rubbing across his own.

Seokjin has been visited by an older version of you a handful of times now. He was starting to feel troubled by the fact that the only time you ever seemed to want him was when you time traveled back to him. This time happened to be the closest he’s gotten to his version of you. That means, in less than four years, he’ll finally get to have you like this all the time. He tries not to feel impatient, but, god, he can’t wait.

He pushes his tongue inside your inviting mouth, yanking your body closer to the edge of the counter.

This was your Seokjin, the one you first fell in love with, so dominating and strong with a desperation in his actions you haven’t experienced in awhile. You fist his shirt, pulling him closer to you, moaning into each other’s mouths.

-

This is not your home. 

Oh no. The last thing you remember, you were trying to think of a way to escape your date with Seokjin and then you tripped, or at least you think you tripped, and the world felt like it turned upside down. And now you’re…where are you?

“There you are, I was wondering where you went off to!”

You turn around, face to face with the man in question. “Seokjin?”

“Yes,” he laughs, “Are you okay? Wait.”

You stand awkwardly in the middle of his living room. “Y/n? Did you time travel?” You nod quickly. He looks around for his y/n. In his old age he was always nervous when you would visit him, he knew you couldn’t exactly save him from a stroke or heart attack, but he always assumed the worst if you fell in unexpectedly. “Am I…in danger?” 

“No! I mean, I don’t think so? Fuck…I fucked up. I think…I think this might have been me, this time,” you groan. 

“What do you mean?”

“I– Are we still friends?” you look closer at Seokjin, he looks older, not by much, but there was definitely a difference between your Seokjin and him.

Seokjin laughs. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“So I didn’t ruin our friendship,” you sigh in relief. 

“When did you come from,” Seokjin asks, curious.

“Oh, um,” you weren’t so sure you wanted to remind him. You look around. This place is much nicer than his current home, you notice. You’re happy for him. 

Seokjin watches as you look around his home. “Like the place?”

“It’s beautiful, the kitchen, wow,” you laugh in awe. Seokjin smiles at your reaction. You said the same thing when he brought you to this home, asking if you wanted it.

“You look beautiful. What’s the occasion?” You wore a low-cut pastel dress, the short skirt flowed over your hips, showing off your legs. You hadn’t put your heels on yet, standing barefoot on his rug.

“A date,” you mumble.

Seokjin pours himself two drinks. Walking over to you, he hands you a glass. “Who’s the lucky gentlemen?” he teases.

You drink the alcohol to calm your nerves. “You’re from the future, right? Shouldn’t you know?”

“Technically, you’re from the past. And I want to hear you say it, y/n,” he takes another long drink.

“You are mad at me for leaving,” you bite your lip.

“You still haven’t figured it out,” Seokjin sighs. “Look at me, do you think I would be still mad at you for something that happened so long ago? Do you think I could ever be mad at you like that? Do you think I could ever stop loving you?” Seokjin holds your cheek against his palm, the same gesture he always does, unable to help himself from touching you. 

“You can’t just love me because I saved your life once when you were a kid, Seokjin. That’s not…okay.”

“Have you ever tried to see me as who I am now to you?”

“Y-Yes,” you swallow, getting lost in his eyes. “But I’m afraid that’s not how you see me…”

“You know what I love about you?” he asks, “We cook together, all the time, we make dinner together. You even let me drag you to cooking classes,” he smiles. “On the weekends when I fish, you’ll come with me and write or paint on the boat, you always keep me company. I even love you when you force me to watch scary movies, you always say you’ll protect me at night.”

“We do all that together?”

“I love that you’re so passionate about things, I love that you are just as competitive as me, I love that you make our home warm, I love your laugh, I love your smile, I love your eyes…”

“Our home?” You put your hand over his, not wanting him to pull away just yet. But Seokjin had no intention of leaving you.

“You think I love you because you saved me when I was a child. But I don’t think that’s what happened at all. I think you saved me because I loved you so much.”

You feel your heart clench at his words, opening up as if he had the key, turning it until he unlocked something inside of you, hidden so deep out of fear.

“I’m sorry I ran away from our first date,” you cry.

Seokjin laughs, kissing your forehead. “What are you talking about? You’re right here with me now.” He hugs you close, “Our first date, huh? Ahh now I remember,” he smiles. “You wore this for me?” Seokjin looks down your body hungrily. His thumb reaches out to touch the corner of your lips.

His younger self will forgive him for stealing your first kiss together.

Seokjin kissed you softly, testing the waters, until you pressed your lips into his demandingly, and he cradled the back of your head, licking over your mouth until you opened for him. His tongue rolls over yours, mouth devouring you until you were weak in the knees.

His hands ran down your body, going under your dress and pressing you to him in the most achingly pleasurable way you let out a soft moan for more. 

Seokjin loved your body now, but there was something evocative in the younger version of you that reminded Seokjin of the start of your relationship, when you couldn’t keep your hands off one another and when you and him had the energy to go all night and morning long for days.

“Oh Seokjin.”

Seokjin already knows he’s not going to forgive himself for what he’s going to do next to you. But it’s only fair, his younger self is having too much fun with his version of you. That black dress was meant for him, Seokjin thinks, a little angry with his younger self too, barely remembering the distant memory. 

Seokjin lays you on the couch, delicately pulling off your lace panties teasingly, leaving open mouthed kisses across your calf and thigh. He runs his tongue up your leg, achingly slow.

You whine for him, crying out his name, unable to hold back your yearning for him any longer.

You were so responsive to his touch, goosebumps blooming all over your skin at his ministrations. When his tongue dove into your core, you shuddered, legs over his shoulders and heels digging into his back, your own back arching into him as he licked over your mound, pressing his tongue deep inside you.

He replaces his tongue with two fingers, setting a punishing pace with his digits stroking inside your sex and his tongue over your clit, a dizzying force that sent pleasure waves throughout your body. 

“Oh my god,” was all you could manage to say, broken out in between heaving moans.

He removes his tongue only to growl out, “Be a good girl and cum on my fingers for me, okay angel?”

You groan, legs locking around his arm as he curls his fingers into your sweet spot until you spasm, orgasming quicker than you’ve ever had before, even by your own fingers. “That’s it, baby.”

You lie, in shock, still trembling in pleasure.

-

Seokjin waited so long to have you again, and even though it wasn’t the version of you he wanted, this version acted exactly how he wished you would. You couldn’t keep your hands off his body, you couldn’t stop your moans for him. You were hungry for him, full of desire for him, on your knees for him and god, Seokjin felt like he was losing his mind with lust.

He dragged you off his cock, needing to fuck you first. He bent you over your counter, too horny to even think about stopping and moving somewhere else. He needed you now, before you disappeared, he needed to fuck you full, to make you cry out his name, he needed that validation, he needed you wrapped around his cock, warm and tight and his. You were his. He admired the jiggle of your ass, your back arching for him, your mouth open, your cheek pressed against the marble of your countertop as he dragged you back and forth on his cock. All of you, all his. 

He interlaces his hands in yours, holding you down as his pace quickens. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you moan out for him, tightening around his cock as he pounds into you from behind.

“I want you to come first,” he pants.

“Ungh…fingers,” you grunt, closing your eyes, so close. 

Seokjin has learned a thing or two since fucking you last. He lifts one of your legs up onto the countertop, fucking you even deeper, rolling his hips into yours. His fingers find your clit, his other hand in your hair, tightening his grip as he fucks you.

You tremble, limbs locking as Seokjin brings you over the edge, fucking you through it and dragging out your pleasure until it becomes too much.

“Fuck, fuck, you’re so tight, I’m going to — ungh.”

Seokjin pulls out, resting his cock in your folds. His shaft twitches against your sensitive nub, making you tremble. Seokjin covers your sex with his cum, marking you as his. 

And then he pulls you into his arms, nowhere near finished with you.

-

Seokjin peels your dress off you, fingers pulling at your nipples until you gasp. Pocketing your underwear, he undoes his pants, pulling out his hard length, thick and heavy against your thigh.

You inhale sharply at the sight of him. God, has he always been this sexy? Probably. You’re an idiot for waiting so long. You instinctively open your legs wider for him. “Want it, baby?” Seokjin smirks. He’s bold, already confident in his relationship with you, and he likes teasing you, especially this version of you, when you still have your timidness, your cute modesty. “Tell me how bad you want me.”

You whimper as his fingers tease your entrance. “Tell me,” he grunts as his fingers dip inside your hole. His wet fingers travel up your body, circling your nipple and resting on your throat as he uses the tip of his cock to tease you instead.

“Please, I want you.”

Seokjin licks his lips, watching you squirm underneath him. “How bad?”

“Fuck, please, Seokjin, I want you so bad.”

“Yeah?” He rests himself at your entrance. He could do this all night, torture you slowly. He knows your body, he’s had you so many times before. He can keep you like this for as long as he likes, because he knew you haven’t felt him yet, and he knew it was driving you crazy to wait. This was only a little sweet payback for all the waiting he used to do for you.

“Beg me, angel.”

“Please, Seokjin, please,” you whimper. “Fuck me, please...please...” you pant.

Seokjin rolls his hips into yours, filling you with one long languid stroke that takes your breath away. He brings your legs up, folding you so he can fuck you deep, fill you completely. 

It feels so good you feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You hold onto his shoulders, digging your nails into his back. Fuck, it feel so good. Sex with Seokjin is the best sex of your life. He is thick and long and is hitting spots you didn’t even know existed inside of you. 

“I’m g-going to cum again,” you moan out.

“Yeah? Gonna come on my cock this time? Fuck, you feel so tight. You’re taking me so well, baby.” 

“So…close-”

“Come, baby,” Seokjin runs his fingers over your sex, circling your oversensitive clit. You shake and tremble around him, limbs locking. “One more, fu-uck, give me one more.” Seokjin was going to make sure you knew what you could look forward to when you went back, that you weren’t going to ever forget you belonged with him. 

He rolls his hips slow and steady, fucking every thought out of your head until you could only think of the way his cock dragged in and out of you, his fingers relentlessly slipping against your clit.

“Seokjin!”

“Good girl, that’s a good girl.”

-

Seokjin woke up half naked on the rug of your living room all alone.

And then he heard a thud in your bedroom and knew you were back in his life again. Never that far.

-

You look up as your bedroom door creaks open. You pull your sheet off your bed, dragging it onto the floor to cover yourself.

“Hey,” you stutter.

“Hey,” Seokjin whispers, covering his chest.

“Seokjin, did you want to, um, cook breakfast together?”

---

“Hey old man.”

“Hey angel.” Seokjin had gray hair, wrinkles in the creases of his eyes when he smiled at you. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Now that you’re here, I’m sure it will be fine.”

Taking your hand in his, you both notice the gold rings on your fingers.

“How’d you get in this boat all by yourself?”

“The easy part is getting in, the hard part is getting out,” Seokjin laughs.

“And where am I?”

“I suppose, somewhere saving my life.”

You jump into the boat, helping him to his feet. “Promise me you’ll fix this dock with some decent steps and railings,” you grunt.

“I promise,” he smiles.

You smile back, tying the boat up to the dock. “I’m happy I came here, to see you. We lasted this long, huh? Not that I had any doubts,” you tease. Seokjin chuckles, waiting for you as you finish securing the last loops. He sits on his cooler, filled with today’s catch.

You bend down and kiss him on the cheek, helping him up to his feet again. “Let’s go inside and wait for me, then, yeah?” you say, linking your arms together.

---

“Y/n?” Seokjin called out to you. Somehow, even with your gray hair, your hunched withered body, he could tell it was you.

“Oh, Seokjin, oh my god,” you wheeze out, tears in your eyes. The last time you saw Seokjin was three years ago, the day he died. You touch his cheek, no longer wrinkled by time, tears escaping your cloudy eyes. 

“Angel, you found me again.”

“I missed you. God, I missed you so much.”

“I’m here now,” Seokjin whispers, taken aback by your tears and how broken you sounded, his heart clenching and thinking of the worst. He hugs you, calming you down.

You remembered this day. 

“I know why I’m here,” you say happily. “Today is the day I go into labor.”

“But your due date is not for another three months,” your husband says, confused.

“That’s right,” you remember. “There’s a complication. We’ll be fine,” you reassure him as he starts to panic, “Just take me to the hospital now, okay love.”

Seokjin nods, hugging you again. It’s overwhelming, having him in your arms again after all these years. Even if the man you loved is gone, you feel a sense of happiness wash over you knowing this version of him and you still have so many years left to live, so much love to give each other. So many more beautiful memories to make, all that you know will be the best ones yet.

“Oh dear, I love you,” you cry.

“I love you too. Every time. Every where,” Seokjin whispers. 

And that was the last time you fell for Seokjin.

---

Happy birthday, Seokjin! Did you like it? I cried, but I'm a crybaby, did you cry? I need to know if I'm still decent at angst lol.

Masterlist

#seokjin x reader #jin x reader #seokjin smut #jin smut #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #jin angst #bts college au #bts fantasy au #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #happy birthday seokjin

[oursecretescape]

Forgotten

words: 7.5k

genre: angst

If my fate is to disappear like this, then this is my last letter - Let go xx TW: Mentions of anxiety, panick attack. Trad: anjinho = little angel. a/n: Hello, my babies. This story is the translation of ''Forgotten'' that I recently posted. I tried to make it as angsty as possible, hope I have achieved my goal. My apologies before hand for any grammar erros. English is not my first language. I suggest you all read it along with the saddest song you like. Well... with all that being said, I wish you a happy reading (or sad? lmao. dunno). Tell me later what y'all thought. ♥

"Hey! We'll be there soon. Sorry for the delay. Today's rehearsal took longer than expected. We're leaving now."

Received at 5 in the afternoon.

I take a quick glance at the clock, and it shows eight in the evening. A heavy sigh escapes my lips as I feel my heart drumming slowly in my chest, each beat amplifying my growing sense of unease.

I get up from the couch and reach for the umbrella swaying gently in the wind coming from the window. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, attempting to manage the sudden surge of fear and despair growing in my chest. My heart is racing, and my mind is in overdrive. A sense of mortality and suffocation, all rolled up into a single emotion: anxiety.

I sit down, sliding along the corridor wall. I try to control my breathing while attempting to steady the pounding of my heart. I think that dying in the hallway of a building would be so pointless and dull that it makes me laugh. A laugh, strained and devoid of emotion, but functional.

Heart rate normalizing. Labored, but controlled breathing. Mind stabilized.

I feel my face wet with tears. I wipe them away with trembling hands. When did I start crying? I rise from the floor, swaying a little. I take another deep breath and press the elevator button.

Dad always said that thinking of ridiculous things in difficult moments would help distract me. He was right, as he always was.

The cold, damp breeze of Seoul's streets warmed my soul. Its black skies, like darkness, covered with thick clouds, carried heavy raindrops that, upon impact, met my umbrella, creating beautiful melodies. It was comforting to hear the drops hitting the hard concrete; they reminded me that I wasn't crying alone.

It was thundering when I arrived at the destination. Bright streaks in the sky made the monument even gloomier. I found it ironic how everything matched my feelings. As I entered through the doors, I could already hear muffled cries. Sadness and suffering permeated the air, leaving me melancholic.

After a few more steps, I could see the person I love the most in the world greeting me with a beautiful smile. His eyes were shining like true rays of sunshine. I sit in front of him, sliding my fingers where his name rests. Lee Joon-Ho.

"Dad, I miss you so much," I say aloud, my voice cracking with emotion. "It's been incredibly lonely without you here. You have no idea how much I long for your company," I said, feeling the salty taste of tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring my friends to meet you like I promised. They're all caught up with their own lives, you know how it is. But don't worry, I'll bring them next time when they're less busy," I chuckle, with no emotion.

I hear footsteps behind me. I stand up excitedly, my heart pounding, but this time as a sign of comfort. They didn't forget. I feel my face stretch into a small smile, which is quickly dissolved.

"Hello, young lady. Good evening," the guard gives me a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to ask you not to linger too long on your visit today. The rain caused some minor leaks, and we'll have to close a little earlier."

"Oh okay, I understand," I responded in a whisper.

"I'm sorry. You have 10 minutes. I'll leave you alone," he said, bowing and leaving promptly.

I turn again, sitting on the floor.

"Dad, today I have to leave a little earlier. But don't worry, I'll be back soon," I feel the tears fall like the drops falling from the sky. "I love you so much," I say between sobs. "I miss you."

I stand up in desperation, running out the door, feeling the drops fall freely on my body, without the protection of the umbrella. It was as if I was washing away all the bad feelings flowing from my being.

Arriving home, I take a hot shower and change into comfortable clothes. The room were in dense darkness. It was just the rain and me. And my cat, who was rubbing against my leg, lay on my lap."

I feel my chest inflate with comfort at the presence of the little being and smile at the gesture.

With the phone in hand, I try to distract my restless mind. I see the Twitter icon and feel my heart pounding as if I shouldn't do this, but I do it anyway. The blue screen shining amidst the darkness of the room soon turns into white, leaving my vision blurred. I switch to dark mode and continue scrolling through my feed.

Within a few seconds, I see something that breaks my heart even more. Among the bursts of excitement from Armys, there are videos of the boys, my boys, having fun in a restaurant with her. They forgot about the visitation day because of her. Again, the reason why I was put aside is her.

Knocks on the door make me forget the feelings of jealousy and anger that burned in my body like fire. I hesitated to remove the furry creature from my lap, as it seemed so comfortable. With a little effort, I get up and walk to the door. Upon opening it, I see Adora's face in a comforting smile. Seeing a friendly face, I feel my tears fall freely on my face once again. She immediately drops the bags she was carrying and envelops me in a loving hug.

I can't say for how long we hugged. What I can say is that it was exactly what I needed at that moment. I feel my chest getting lighter as if all the bad feelings had been carried away by the embrace, and I feel grateful to Adora for that.

Slowly I pull away, and I can see her smile return twice as big.

"Better?" she asks, making me nod.

I step aside, and she enters, placing the food bags on the coffee table. I close the door and follow her.

"What did you bring?" I ask curiously, making her laugh.

"I knew food would cheer you up," she laughs. "I brought a lot of junk food. Sweet and savory cookies, ice cream, sweet and sour pork, hamburgers, and sodas."

"Soda?" I wonder. "Since when do you like fizzy drinks? You always said they gave you gas," I hold back a laugh.

"The soda is for you. For me," she reaches into the bag, pulling out two green bottles of soju. "I brought alcohol," she says sticking her tongue out as she shakes the bottles.

I smile at her little dance, but seeing her gummy smile reminds me of him. I feel the sadness wanting to return when I remember the videos, but I cast aside any bad feelings as I grab the ice cream container.

"I didn't want to bring it up, but I'm really sorry I wasn't there. You know how it is at BigHit. I couldn't leave the production until the work was finished," she explains, and I smile.

"It's okay. I understand," I whisper. "The important thing is that you're here now."

"About the boys..." she starts to say, but I quickly cut her off.

"No, it's fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"But you need to, Cassie. You know that. Keeping it all inside will only make it worse. You know you can trust me. Vent it out. I'm here," she holds my hand.

I close my eyes, nodding. I search within myself for the strength to let out everything I'm feeling. Everything that's hurting me. I bite my lower lip and open my eyes. It's going to be okay.

"It's been some time since my friendship with the boys started cooling off," I begin, feeling her squeeze my hand in comfort. "You know I met Tae before he became famous, and he's the one who introduced me to the rest of the boys. Since then, we've had a very strong friendship. We weren't always together, especially with the tours and my work, but we were close, like a real family. No matter how long we went without seeing each other, nothing changed, until recently," I sigh. "Park Ji-Hye showed up about 2 months ago, a few weeks before my dad passed away. She auditioned for the dancer position and passed the test," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I saw her audition," she says.

"So, since that day, I saw her getting closer and closer to the boys. They were always talking about how cool and funny she is, and, you know, I was happy for them. A new friendship is always good, especially for them, who are famous and always have to be careful with opportunists. But it never crossed my mind that she would take the place I had in their lives," I smile sadly. "They started visiting me much less. Calling me much less. Inviting me to the dorm or out much less. Until the day I literally became nothing to them," I look at Adora, whose face is red with anger.

"These..." I interrupted her.

"You don't want to lose your job, right?" I ask, laughing. "And you can't blame them either. She became their official dancer, which means wherever they go, she's with them," I shrug. "She's with them all the time, and that surely made them closer to her. Even more than me," I feel my eyes welling up. "I don't want to lose them, but I feel like I already did."

"Hey," she shakes me. "Calm down, breathe. I know they messed up. And they messed up badly, but it doesn't mean they've forgotten about you," Adora says, trying to comfort me.

"They forgot me the day my dad died, Adora. I'll never forget that. I feel like on that day, I died twice. I remember calling them in desperation, crying, not knowing what to do, feeling like my world was falling apart," I pause as I feel all the emotions returning. "And they said they were coming, but they never showed up," I continued after a few seconds of silence. "After that, they sent me a message explaining that Park Ji-Hye had gotten hurt dancing and they were with her at the hospital," Adora nods.

"Yeah, I remember. She just fell on her butt, but she made a scene like she broke her back. Everyone was freaking out at the company, even Bang PD. But in the end, it was just drama," she laments.

"After that, they didn't even visit me. Not even once," I laughed with no emotion. "Right after, they forgot my birthday. I understand that I wasn't excited at all because of my dad, but it wouldn't hurt to receive some supportive or congratulatory messages from them. I was so upset that I sent some sad texts. In less than thirty minutes, they were knocking on my door. We cried a lot, but I felt like a part of me had come back to life and that everything was going to be okay," I sarcastically laughed. "I couldn't have been more wrong, could I?" I asked.

"Cassie..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. After today, I finally understood," I grab a spoon. "They found someone better than me. Someone who can be with them all the time and help them when they need it. I'm just sad that person isn't me. Not anymore," I shove the spoonful of ice cream into my mouth, to prevent the tears stuck in my throat from coming out.

For the rest of the night, Adora didn't bring up the subject again, and I was grateful for that.

A random movie played on TV, but my mind was far away. I looked to the side and saw Adora sleeping with her mouth open. A piece of cookie rested on her cheek while her hand lay above her head. I silently chuckled, covering us and then turning off the TV.

A distant ringing sound caught my attention. I tapped around the couch until I found the phone under the cushion. My eyes automatically closed from the sudden contact with the bright screen, but just as they closed, they widened.

After the first notification, thousands started to show up. My heart throbbed in my chest as my body was flooded with nervousness.

"Min PD: Cassie, please tell me you're there."

"Joonie: Please respond. We're sorry. It wasn't our intention not to show up..." The message appeared cut off because I hadn't unlocked the phone yet.

"Hobierto: Believe us, Cassie. Please, we know you're awake. Answer us."

"Jinnie: Cassandra, we would never do anything to hurt you. Please let us explain."

"Mochi: Answer the phone."

After that message, a group call popped up on the screen. I stared at it, battling the urge to answer. I sighed deeply and threw the phone back onto the couch because no matter how much I wanted to talk to them, I was still hurt. I didn't want to answer and end up fighting. Saying things without thinking and ending up in a worse situation. The best thing to do now was to rest.

I made myself comfortable on the bed we had arranged on the floor, and put the pillow over my head to block out the notifications. When I didn't see any changes, I pressed the power button on my phone and confirmed it right away. I lay back down and took a deep breath. Tomorrow is a new day. Everything will be okay. ——————————————————

It wasn't even dawn when I heard knock after knock. Disoriented, I got up, searching for where the noise was coming from until my feet led me to the front door. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall and got irritated to see it was six past two in the morning.

I swung the door open, ready to argue with whoever had woken me up so early after going to bed so late, but I lost my voice when I saw the seven people I loved most staring at me ty forlornly.

I felt two arms embrace me tightly, followed by two more until I lost count. Desperate whispers for forgiveness echoed in my ear, making me feel loved... until a certain moment. Memories of what had happened the night before made me wake up from the sleep I didn't know I was in. Slowly, I distanced myself from the seven, able to see the tears streaming down some of their faces and sadness emanating from the others.

"Cassie..." Jimin starts. "I'm so sorry. It wasn't our intention to leave you alone in such a difficult time. Please, believe us."

"We didn't come here to lie to you, Cassandra..." Namjoon says. "It really wasn't our intention. I know this is going to sound completely wrong, but we made a promise to Ji-Hye. We promised to take her out to celebrate her birthday since she's far from her family and would probably celebrate alone," I try to hide a grimace.

They couldn't miss her birthday, but could miss mine.

"As soon as we finished eating, we were going to come straight here. And we really were, Cas, really. But the company called saying we had to go there to finalize the last details for the album. It was then that we sent several messages in the group, but you didn't see any."

"That's why we're here," Taehyung says, interrupting Namjoon. "Cassie, listen to me. You're one of the most important people in my life. Sorry if lately my actions haven't shown that, but please, please, Cas, don't be mad at us. I couldn't bear to know that you're upset because of me," he whispers.

"Go to the dorms tonight. Let's talk about this calmly," Hoseok suggests.

I remain silent for a few minutes.

"Come on, please. Hum? Hum?'' Tae shakes my arm. ''You'll go, right? Say yes," he asks.

"Okay," I sigh deeply. "I'll go."

I feel arms wrapping around my body again, and I relax, enjoying the contact. This time, the hug lasted only a few seconds. The boys said goodbye, saying they needed to be at the company in a few hours. 

"Tonight at 7. We'll be waiting for you," Yoongi said and then left. 

I closed the door, trying to contain my excitement and the obvious smile on my face. As I turned to go back to bed, I was startled to see only Adora's head peeking out from behind the couch. She had a radiant smile on her face as she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up," I say, making her laugh. ——————————————————

I look at the clock on the wall. It's 8:07 in the evening. Damn, I was late. I could already hear Adora's voice slowly emerging in my mind, saying that I should have listened to her and picked out my outfit earlier. Shaking my head, I focus on finishing getting ready. The last thing I needed right now was a lecture from my own mind.

I hear knocks and the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Shit," I mutter as I hop over to the door.

I try to put on my sock while walking to the door, but my unfailing plan soon becomes fallible when I trip over my own hand and fall on the floor. The knocks and the doorbell grow louder, and I feel irritation creeping in. "ALRIGHT, I'M COMING," I yell and pick myself up.

I walk back to the door with a pout and my hair completely tousled, covering my face. I take a deep breath, fix my hair, put on a fake smile, and finally open the door. As I see the seven people I love most in the world looking at me with confused faces, I feel my smile turn genuine, and the earlier irritation vanish as if it had never existed.

"Is everything okay? Why didn't you come?" I hear Taehyung ask as he scrutinizes me from head to toe."

"What happened? Something serious?" Seokjin asks, and I shake my head.

"No, guys, sorry. I almost died trying to choose a good outfit to wear and ended up running late, sorry," I explained laughing.

''What do you mean you almost died?" Jungkook asks as I watch their faces turn into a grimace."

"It was nothing, really," I reassure, taking a quick glance at Jungkook, who was holding back his laugh.

He knew it. I am sure he did.

"Are you sure you didn't... you know... fall on your ass?" he smirks. "I'm sure I heard a huge..."'' 

"Hobi," I said excitedly, "What do you have there?" I pointed to the bags he was carrying while Jungkook laughed.

That little prick.

''Food," he says, shaking the bags. ''We know how much you love eating''.

I chuckle and make way for them to enter. In a few minutes, the food was already on the coffee table, and an improvised bed was set up on the living room floor. I change into more comfortable clothes and join them.

"Look, before we start, we want you to know how sorry we are," Yoongi says.

"Yes... Sorry for not being there on the visitation's day," Jimin adds. "If there's anything you want to say, anything that's bothering you, please let us know. We'll fix it all, Cassie. ''he holds my hand.'' We want things to go back to how they used to be."

"We're here for you, Cas," Jin finishes, and I smile weakly.

I pause for a moment, feeling that it still wasn't the right time. So, I just sigh and shake my head.

"It's okay, guys. Really," I open with a smile. "Let's just watch this movie already. I'm dying to see who'll be the first one to cry and shake in fear like a little kitten." I say, trying to change the subject, and smirk when I realize it worked.

"I am sure it won't be me," Hoseok says with confidence. "Cause you know..." he shows off his muscles. "I'm a man," he pauses for a minute.

It doesn't take long until Hoseok's laughter fills the room, making everyone laugh.

"Who listens to him talking like this, doesn't even think the Gladiator sandal outside belongs to him," Jungkook says, making Hoseok look at him flabbergasted.

''Hey, what do you mean by that?'' he asks shookedt. ''It's fashionable''

"Yeah, Hobi. Sure is," Yoongi says, patting his shoulder.

''Why I don't believe you are being honest?'' Hoseok asks putting his finger under his chain. ''I'm going to expose you on Twitter. Or should I say X?''

''What? Are you into Xvideos?'' Namjoon asks as he returns. 

Everybody stops and looks at him. When did he even leave to begin with?

"What were you doing, Joonie?" I ask, smirking at him. "Were you in the bathroom?" he nods as the rest of the boys laugh.

''Now we know why you are thinking naughtiness'' Jimin says.

Namjoon's face turns red as he shakes his hands nervously. He tries to sit down on the couch but somehow ends up falling on the ground. We can see his cellphone flying around the living room as he throws his arms in the air in an attempt to regain his balance, but it doesn't work, as expected.

''No need to be nervous, Joonie'' I say. ''Everybody masturbates once in a while.''

''Do we?'' Yoongi looks at me suspiciously.

"I mean," I chuckle nervously. "How did we even get to this conversation? Let's just watch the movie for God's sake."

"Nah, nah. Don't you try coming up with excuses," Tae says abruptly. "What do you mean by that? Are you dating someone?" Jungkook seems to be having fun as he opens a beer can.

''What? Me? Dating?'' I laugh. ''Not even close. But I can't say the same about Jungkook, can I?'' he chokes.

''Uh? What you on about?'' he asks as he cleans his mouth. ‘’Seven days a week, huh?’’ he burst into laughter. He pauses for a minute before smirking. "Hm, why's that, baby girl?" he says, leaning in my direction. "Are you jealous?" he asks, putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Do you want me to…" he bites his lower lip. "You know," he says putting his finger on my lips. I can already feel the cringeness and second-hand embarrassment traveling throughout my body as the rest of the boys laugh. This prick. ‘’You really need to get out from twitter,’’ I say, shoving him away. ‘’The next step is to put up a black and white profile picture and call yourself a webdom’’ He raises both of his middle fingers in my direction before turning his attention back to the beer can. ‘’Are you guys done? Can I finally play this damn movie?’’ Yoongi asks, making everybody nod.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was time for them to leave. Unfortunately, they couldn't stay overnight. They had to leave very early the next day due to their schedule. 

I hesitated to get up; I didn't want to accompany them to the door out of sheer laziness, and feeling Taehyung shaking me with his foot made me even more sluggish.

"If you keep doing that, I swear I'll fall asleep," I say, making him huff.

"Come on, sloth imitation. Take us to the door," Jimin says, but gives up when he sees Jungkook lying next to me.

"Jungkook, I'm sure you really like your video game, right?" Seokjin asks, and in a jump, Jungkook gets up.

"Are you really not taking us to the door?" Yoongi asks, and I remain silent. "Okay then."

When I open my eyes to see what he was going to do, I feel an arm gather and squeeze my legs while a hand starts tickling my feet furiously.

"JESUS!" I scream in surprise.

I heard laughter as I fought for my life. The strange feeling that tickling brought made me confused if I was laughing because I found it funny or if it was fear messing up my nervous system. The laughter increased as I writhed and screamed for help.

"YOONGI, YOU JERK!" I said without realizing that I was actually yelling.

"Weren't you sleepy?" Yoongi asks. "So, I'm trying to help you."

"WAIT UNTIL I GET UP, YOU PIECE OF BROWN SUGAR, I'M GOING TO END YOU."

"Are you going to take us to the door?" he asks.

"OKAY, OKAY, I'LL TAKE YOU, JUST STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD," I yell.

I feel my body calm down and my brain start functioning again as the tickling ceases. I looked at Yoongi who was laughing while sniffing his hand.

"Ew, you have smelly feet," he says, and I get up.

"Come here, you little jerk," I chase after him as he runs away mocking me.

After a few seconds, I could already feel that the 70% of water in my body had evaporated and the air in my lungs was scarce. When did my body become so sedentary?

"Idiot," I curse Yoongi who laughs. "I hate you."

"I love you too, beautiful thing," I hear him say.

Finally, I accompany them to the door. After a lazy farewell, I see them about to leave, but a click in my mind makes me stop them.

"As you know, I graduated from college, but since it was at the time when my father died, I didn't have any enthusiasm to celebrate. Adora recommended that I have a celebration the day after tomorrow night, since it's the weekend. Just to not let it go unnoticed. So... you guys are invited."

"We'll be here, don't worry," Namjoon says, and I smile nodding.

We say goodbye again, and this time, I see them leave. Seeing the elevator door close, I go back inside the house. The smile on my face never leaves me for a second, and finally, after so long, I could feel that things would really be okay.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Thanks to Adora, everything was organized on time. The food was ordered since neither she nor I wanted anyone to die from food poisoning. The time we ended up in the hospital the day we cooked for each other was enough. No need to repeat the dose.

I check the time on my phone and see it's 8pm. They would arrive at any moment, so I sit next to Adora on the couch to chat until then.

☂ ☂

Some time passed, and the boys still hadn't arrived. I look at the time again and see that it's 9:46. I try not to think the worst and choose to believe they would be here soon.

☂ ☂

I sigh deeply at seeing what time it is: 11:14. I try to ignore Adora's pitying look and get up from the couch. I suppress the tears once again. I am tired of crying. And more than ever, I realize that they don't deserve my tears.

"Cassandra..." Adora calls me, and I look at her. "I'm sure there's an explanation for this. Something must have happened at the company, and they couldn't let us know." I shake my head.

Something inside me told me that wasn't it, and I decided to trust my intuition.

"Adora, can you take me to the dorm?," I ask softly. "I don't think I'll have the courage to go alone," I weakly smile, and she nods.

"Of course, my love. Of course..." ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

The car journey lasted less than I wished. My mind was constantly clouded by memories, anxiety making the painful memories hurt twice as much. I laughed in disbelief. I wondered what I had done wrong to deserve this.

"Thank you for bringing me," I look at Adora. "And thank you for always being by my side in difficult times. If I felt supported and loved, be sure that it's all because of you. You're an amazing person, Adora, and I hope you know that." she smiles.

"Regardless of what happens there, remember that you are enough. Not for them, but for yourself. Don't belittle yourself for them, Cassie, and don't let the love you feel for them speak louder than your self-love. If you survived two hellish months without their presence, be sure that you can live your life and be immensely happy in the future without them. I guarantee you that," I feel her hand squeezing mine for comfort, and I smile. "I'll be waiting for you here," I nod.

I get out of the car, feeling Adora's words take effect. I walk bravely towards the towering building, ignoring every feeling of nostalgia trying to invade me. I couldn't lose focus now.

Arriving on their dorm's floor, I feel my heart skip a beat. I pause for a moment and try to put my thoughts and feelings in order. Seeing no result, I lean against the wall and try in every way to avoid a panic attack that was about to come. As if it were a heavenly help, I feel my phone vibrate. With trembling hands, I pick it up and see a message from Adora.

"Don't forget, you are strong and capable. And never for a moment think you are alone, because I'm here for you."

I clutch my phone tightly. Adora is right. I am strong and I am capable. I can do this because regardless of what happens, I will be okay.

I take a deep breath, gathering all the strength and courage from my being, and knock on the door. I freeze when I realize what I've done, but I quickly compose myself. I will be okay.

A few seconds passed and no one answered, so I knocked again. But just like the first time, there was no response. After the third attempt, I decide to enter. Typing the password on the door, I entered the dormitory.

Upon realizing that there was no one in the main hall, the pounding of my heart calmed down. I begin to walk through the dormitory, recalling every good moment I had with my boys. I feel the sadness emanating in my chest once again.

I really didn't want to lose them.

As I walked down the corridor, I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I started walking with firm steps, but I felt my legs waver when I heard a female voice among their voices. It was her.

"Jungkook-oppa, you're so silly," I hear her delicate laughter, feeling jealousy burning in my chest.

It should be me there.

"The silly you love," I hear Jungkook reply.

I could hear the happiness in his voice. It was as if they didn't need anyone else at the moment but her. And that made me hate her, but my own mind scolded me. She is not worthy of my hatred. She is as innocent as I am in this story. She did nothing to hurt me, so why would I hate her?

"Hinnie," I hear Hoseok's voice.

Hinnie...

"Try it and tell me what you think."

There was a moment of pause until applause and sounds of appreciation were made.

"It's amazing, oppa," she says. "You really keep improving in the kitchen every day."

Unable to bear it anymore, I think of simply turning around and leaving, but something catches my attention. And it was precisely there, in that moment, that I regretted staying.

"Why do I feel like we're forgetting something?" I hear Taehyung say, and I feel my body tremble.

Once again, there was a pause until someone shouted.

"Shit, really," Jimin said. "We forgot to take the drinks out of the freezer."

I feel my heart break, as if that were possible. I let out a disbelieving laugh and finally come out from where I was hiding.

"And try more of this," Hoseok suddenly stops. "Cassie..."

I hear the sound of something falling to the ground. Soon, everyone was staring at me wide-eyed. I repress the urge to laugh. I realize how messy my whole body was the moment I wanted to laugh and not cry.

"Oh no," Jimin says, as if remembering something. "The party."

With that said, everyone becomes even more desperate. Seeing them approaching, I panic.

"Don't come near,"

They quickly stop. I see them not knowing what to do. And it wasn't just them. I end up getting disoriented with so much pressure. Where did my courage go when I needed it most?

"Um... what's going on?" she asks, and I close my eyes.

It's not her fault. It's not her fault...

"Ji-Hye, could you leave us alone for a moment?" Namjoon asks.

"Yes, of course. It's time for me to leave anyway," she gets up. "I'll see you later," she says bowing both to them and to me.

After she left, silence hung in the air. I tried to hold back my laughter, but when I saw everyone's confused faces, I knew I had failed. When I noticed that no one was going to say anything, I took the initiative.

"Do you know what's more disappointing? It's that I really thought this time would be different," I shrug. "I guess I was wrong, wasn't I?"

"Cas..."

"Do you remember when you asked me if I had something to say, Jinnie? If something was hurting me? Well, I do, and I hope I won't be interrupted."

With no response, I continue.

"I feel like I died. It's been a while since I am just surviving," I start. "The fact that you didn't come to the visitation isn't the part that hurts the most, it's that you weren't there when my father passed away. I remember how desperate I was, and the only people I could think of were you. But you weren't there. Damn, you didn't even call." I whisper as tears fall freely down my face. "When I found myself alone in the hospital, realizing that the person who adopted me and chose me to love had died, that was my first death. The person who loved me, who looked beyond language or race barriers, and who taught me everything I know had suddenly left, without even giving me a chance to say goodbye. Do you know how I felt? Devastated."

I pause for a moment. Melancholy takes over my body as I recall all the feelings I felt that day, and for a moment, I allow myself to cry all I needed. I sob so much that I thought I might choke. Without caring about looks or pity, I just allowed myself, knowing that everything would be okay.

"When I called the only people I thought I could count on, and they told me they were coming, I didn't feel so alone," I let out a humorless laugh. "Until I realized that those people never arrived. The people who always said they would be there for me weren't there when I needed them the most. That was my second death," I look at Jin. "Don't say these things to anybody if they are not coming from your heart. Don't hurt anyone else by saying you have their backs or that you will always be there for them when in reality it's not the truth."

I look at each one. Their gazes were distant, as if they were reliving every moment. 

"You know, I don't want you to think I'm mad at Park Ji-Hye. Actually, quite the opposite. I was really happy when you said you met someone nice. Someone who really cared about you and genuinely wanted your friendships. I know how tough it is for you to find real friendships with all the fame, so I felt fulfilled too. I remember telling daddy excitedly, and he laughed at my excitement, happy for you and for me. Right after that, I lost him, and little by little, I lost you too, like I was meant to be alone," I smile weakly. "I am sorry if I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. You guys forgot my birthday. Forgot the visitation days, and to top it off, you forgot my graduation party. It's like you replaced me as if I never even existed in your lives, and that really hurts. Really.''

I finish, and only then I realize they were crying with me. Some didn't have the courage to meet my gaze. We spent a few minutes without anyone saying anything. The only thing filling the air was the sound of our sniffles and sobs.

"On the day your father died," Namjoon begins. "We felt like we had lost a family member because he was, in fact, one. I am truly sorry, Cas, but for me, Park Ji-Hye's fall was an escape. I didn't want to face reality. I wouldn't know how to react to the loss of someone so special, and I also wouldn't know how to act with you," he looks at me.

"On your birthday, we thought you would like to be alone. It would be the first without your father, so we didn't know what to do, Cassie. We panicked," Jimin sighs. "But now I realize how you felt," he laughs humorlessly. "My God, I never thought I'd be such a horrible friend. What a disappointment," he whispers, covering his face with his hand.

"On visitation days," I look at Hoseok. "I confess that I clung to any opportunity not to go, Cas," he cries. "Not because I didn't love you. I love you, and I love you very much, but I never knew how to react to death. The only two times I entered a cemetery, I spent the rest of the week feeling bad, with depressive thoughts. I also couldn't let Armys worry. I didn't want their 'Sun' to lose its brightness. I am so sorry for not being able to tell you this before. I didn't want to seem selfish."

I suppress a disbelieving laugh.

"Hearing all this, I realize how futile our apologies seem," Yoongi laughs weakly. "But they are true, Cassie... I understand what Hoseok says. You know about my history with depression, don't you?" he asks, and I nod. "It's the same thing for me. If I enter a cemetery, my thoughts don't stop. Some come in a worse form, and I feel like I'm going crazy."

"We were selfish, Cas," Seokjin says. "I was. I didn't want Armys to see us sad because I knew the chaos it would be. I have no words to express how special you are to me," he pauses. "Cassie, you are my sister, my family. You weren't crying alone; I cried with you. I just couldn't show it. I knew it would be worse if I saw you cry, just like I am seeing now."

There was a moment of silence. Until his voice broke.

"I am sorry," Taehyung says. "Damn, I don't even know what to say, Cassie. You are one of the most precious people I have ever met. I remember how you stayed with us through thick and thin. I also remember how happy you were for us at the beginning, and I know the genuine happiness you felt when we received our first award. You stood by my side when my grandma passed away. How could I not be by your side too? My God," he puts his hand on his head in an act of despair. "You stayed by our side when we thought about disbanding. It was you who helped us see why we are here, who helped us find reasons to stay," he looks at me anxiously. "How could I be so selfish?"

"We thought that regardless of anything, you would always be by our side. That you would understand us, even with our deplorable attitudes. We always thought we would have you next to us, so we neglected you," Yoongi shakes his head. I feel like he answered more to Taehyung than to me. "Damn, anjinho, I'm sorry," I lower my head as I hear him call me by the nickname I loved so much.

"The fact that we started a new friendship also influenced us," Jungkook says. "We were so excited that someone, besides you, wanted a friendship without interest that without realizing it, we put aside the one that had been with us from the beginning," I hear Jungkook say muffled, as his two hands covered his face.

"We don't deserve you, Cassandra. We left you at the most difficult moment of your life, and yet you never stopped loving us," Yoongi pulls his own hair, a habit he always did when he was nervous. "We can't let you leave thinking that we don't care about you because, Cassie, that would be a complete lie. With the stress of the comeback, things only got worse. It was rehearsal, recording, agendas to fulfill, productions, trips, tours. Our minds were a mess, and Park Ji-Hye tried to help us from there. We know she's not the one to blame, and it's not your fault either. It's ours and only ours. I know this will seem like a lame excuse, but I didn't want to let you go thinking that you aren't precious to us. You are Cas. And you always will be."

I close my eyes and try to control my breathing. If before I felt bad, now I feel ten times worse. It seemed like I didn't even know them anymore. The feeling of comfort they made me feel was replaced by anguish. By sadness.

I open my eyes, and for the last time, I look at my boys. I realize that Taehyung understood my gaze.

"Cassie, please... Please don't..." Taehyung starts, but is interrupted by Seokjin.

"Don't you dare say what I think you're going to say."

"But I can't lose her, Hyung. I can't lose her," Taehyung says, crouching down.

I think about going to him, but then I retreat my body. If I do that, I know my heart will weaken, and at the moment, the only person I need to think about is myself.

"I'm sorry, hyung, but I'll be selfish," Namjoon says to Seokjin, and I look at him confused. "I don't know what your decision will be, Cassie. I'll support you, even if you choose to leave without our friendship. But I beg you... Cassandra, I implore you, try to find in yourself a little piece that doesn't want to give up on us. It doesn't have to be now. I want you to heal, and I don't care how long it takes. The only thing I ask is that you don't forget us and don't give up on us. Come back to us when you feel ready. I don't want to lose you, Cas. I..."

"I really hope you find a way to forgive us, Cassie. But understand that if you don't, we'll understand. You, more than anyone else, have every right to hate us," Yoongi says, interrupting Namjoon. "I hope you don't forget about us because, with all my heart, we won't forget about you."

I feel my heart shattering with every tear that falls on their faces. I smile weakly. I will really miss them.

I bow in a sign of respect, and as I return to my normal position, I raise my hand to my heart.

"Thank you, my boys. For all the good moments. You were a very important part of my life, which I will carry forever. I will never forget about all of you," I smile faintly. "How could I forget my first true friendships? My first loves?" I whisper.

I take a breath and smile. A true smile. A smile of gratitude.

"Regardless of what happened, you guys deserve nothing but love and happiness. Don't let anyone say otherwise. Even far away, please remember I will always be cheering for your success. And whenever you feel unloved, remember I love you. Very, very much.'' I can hear their sobs getting stronger. ''Don't think I blame you for what happened; I think I finally understand that life has its ups and downs. People come and unfortunately go," I see Taehyung desperate, trying to find something to say. I look away. I need to be strong. "I hope that every day your friendship with Park Ji-Hye grows, and that you take from all of this a lesson.''

I take a deep breath, looking at them for the last time.

''From the bottom of my heart... I wish you to be immensely happy."

In a gesture, I send thousands of kisses. I see Tae wanting to approach, so I turn around and start walking towards the exit, and this time, I don't cry. I feel the weight of sadness in my chest, but the weight of peace for having put everything I felt out was greater. And for the first time in two months, I believe it when I say that everything will be okay.

#bts fanfction #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts au #bts x you #bts x fem!reader #bts angst #jungkook angst #namjoon angst #seokjin angst #yoongi angst #hoseok angst #jimin angst #taehyung angst #bts universe #bts fake texts #bts fanfic #bts reader #bts requests

[ahundredtimesover]

The Light of Dead Stars (Series Masterlist) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Series Warnings: past toxic relationships (emotional/psychological abuse, cheating); “approved” extra-marital relationship (Jin and OC are in an unconventional arranged marriage & this is not an infidelity au but if the perception of it between the MCs is triggering, please skip this one!); foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption; mentions of injury and non-serious sickness; fighting, tears, and drama; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Word count: 150k

Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

Series summary: Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.

A/N: I came across Dead Stars by Paz Marquez Benitez again recently (a 1925 short story written in English and a classic in Philippine literature), and I was reminded of how I’ve always wanted to capture a fraction of the essence of that story ever since I read it in high school. But I sort of flipped it on its head and came up with this! My hand also slipped so lots of things happen. And given that I finished watching Business Proposal before I started writing and since I have no knowledge of the food production industry or the corporate world in general, several terms and elements were taken from that show (but it’s a completely different story). So please, don’t mind the inaccuracies! Jin has also been a menace 😈 recently so this was incredibly fun and satisfying to write. I hope you enjoy! 🥰🥰

Love–he seemed to have missed it. Or was the love that others told about a mere fabrication of perfervid imagination, an exaggeration of the commonplace, a glorification of insipid monotonies such as made up his love life? 

Prologue (2.3k)

Chapter 01 (9.4k)

Chapter 02  (9.7k)

Chapter 03 (9.8k)

Chapter 04 (8k)

Chapter 05 (10.6k)

So all these years–since when?–he had been seeing the light of dead stars, long extinguished, yet seemingly still in their appointed places in the heavens.

Chapter 06 (12k)

Chapter 07 (9.9k)

Chapter 08 (10.6k)

Chapter 09 (12.3k)

Chapter 10 (12.6k)

Chapter 11 (13.1k)

Chapter 12.1 (9.5k)

Chapter 12.2 (9.8k)

Epilogue (10.5k)

#Extras:TLODS

masterlist

#seokjin fic #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin x reader #arranged marriage au #fake dating au #boss au #workmates au #series #the light of dead stars