Just found out today that my friend posts fanfiction as well.
She told me, nervously, that she posts her writing. And I was like oh! me too!
And her eyes lit up, Iâm saying, LIT. UP.
She was like⌠what do you write?
I was like⌠fanfiction.
And she was like girlâŚ
ME TOO!
I asked where she posts her writing.
She whispered âAo3.â
GirlâŚ
ME TOO.
The duration of our conversation included giggling and talking about our fandoms like maniacs.
The best feeling is when youâre able to invite a friend into your secret world of fandoms and fanfiction.
4K notes
¡
View notes
Omg 𼾠it's been such a long time since I've read anything omegaverse/a/b/o and fuck this was so good đ so well written, the words just flowed and omg they're both omegas and so needy, fuck, I loved it so much đđĽšđŻ
Warm (m)
synopsis: the second yoongi steps into your apartment, any hope for a quiet night in instantly vanishes from his mind.
m.yoongi x f.reader
âď¸ ââş â: wc: 3.6k
âď¸ ââş â: genre: a/b/o, fluff, pwp
âď¸ ââş â: content: a/b/o, omega!yoongi, omega!reader, heat cycles, knotting, dirty talk, breeding/impreg kink, alpha kink, slight degradation, minimal prep, pwp, yoongi is hopelessly in love
âď¸ ââş â: notes: hi!! this drabble came to me while i was trying to take a nap. it would not leave until it came to fruition. <33
18+ -> minors / blank blogs dni
The whimper that leaves your lips is the most pathetic thing he thinks heâs ever experienced, coming second only to the sight of you curled up in his bed.
Your body pulled together in a ball, trying your hardest to wrap every blanket in the house around your trembling form. Body writhing around, both too hot and cold at the same time. Searing pain from the inside out crossing every nerve ending you have. Clothes from both of your closets scattered all across the bed in an attempt to make some semblance of a proper nestâ but there was no time.
Your heat came early.
Yoongi knew the second he stepped inside of the house. Any plans of having a nice, relaxing dinner with his girlfriend were cast away the moment he inhaledâ took in the smell permeating the entirety of the apartment. The familiar white hot heat of it sending a shutter down his spine, making him close his eyes instantly to try and take in more of it. To live in it.
Shit. How fucking far along are you already?
His legs itched; the urge to sprint to the bedroom stronger than anything else heâs ever felt. But fuck. He needs to be responsible. He needs to be coordinated so he can help you thoroughly without any distractions.
He stumbles over his own shoes, quickly pulling the tie off of his neck. Shoes come off in much the same fashionâ disregard in a heap along with his backpack.
The few minutes he spends sending emails to his supervisor as well as your own feel like they had to have taken years. Though any moment spent away from you feels like that. When he could be inside of you, breeding you nice and full of his pups like he knows you wantâ you need.
Fuck. No, no. He needs to focus. He needs to finish sending these emails, place an order for some food to be delivered, grab some towels, and fill up a few water bottles. He canât think about that. Even if your body is screaming for him, even if the smell makes him feel like he might go insane.
His fingers tap faster at his phone, doing his utmost to check off the list one by one. Fuck. How are you always so composed during his heat? You move with such kindness, such grace while you attend to his every need and desire. Meanwhile here he is, fingers shaking as he fills up the waterbottles because he just canât fucking take it anymore.
He would call it humiliating, meanwhile you would think itâs adorable.
His hands grip the countertop, doing their utmost to will his cock down with sheer determination alone. He can be with you. Heâs almost there.
Itâs not his fault that you do this to him. Itâs only naturalâ two years into the relationship and you both know each other inside and out. Already spending multiple heats together, discussing it countless times as well means this should all be commonplace. He shouldnât be having this much trouble. But your smell this time around⌠he doesnât know if he can take it.
Itâs different. Sweeter, maybe. Different⌠but good. He thinks heâs going to get drunk off of it. Drunk off of you.
He would love to.
A hand runs through his hair, sweat already dotting his skin. His button-down is tugged off of his shoulders. The entire apartment feels warmer. Or maybe itâs just him. He doesnât know. He doesnât care.
The second he finally enters the bedroom, the feeling is nothing less than ethereal. The short, sharp inhale he takes isnât enough yet it's all too much at the same time. You consume him whole from the inside out. Robbing him of the ability to breathe, to think. To feel human when all he wants is to be inside of you. To take care of his precious girlfriend and make her feel fulfilled.
The groan that resonates from his throat doesnât feel like his own, coming out against his own will. His face flushes in embarrassment, though his cock still strains against the material of his slacks, begging for release. Begging to be buried inside of you. Begging to make you feel complete.
Another breathless whimper leaves your lipsâ your senses mustâve finally kicked in. Noticed your boyfriend's presence against all of the other swirling emotions that you feel inside.
Your face pokes out from under the mound of blankets, your gaze telling him everything he needs to know. Eyeâs half-lidded, pupils blown out so wide he could almost imagine there was no colour in them to begin with. Soft lips parted in a pant, taking in short, quick breaths of air. Hair a mess, thin sheen of sweat covering every inch of skin.
You would probably say you look disgusting and that you need a shower, Yoongi would say youâre the most beautiful girl alive.
But this is not the time for words like that to be exchanged. Not when you clammer out from under the blankets, trying your best to put them around you in a nest in what little time you have. Little chants of âhurryâ leave your lips as you try your best to fix everything to be right. Well, whatever ârightâ is in your heat-addled brain.
Yoongi watches it all. From the way your eyes got a little wider the second they found him, to the way you moved with such fierce haste even though your arms were trembling. Every cute little movementâ every tiny expression that crosses your face as you get annoyed that youâre not moving fast enough.
A smile crosses his lips, watching you work. Watching how adorably you move to try and accommodate for him as fast as possible.
It drops the second you flinch in pain. The second you cry out and lay back against the bed. Returning to the safety of a ball as you clutch your stomach in pain.
Heâs on the bed in a second, hands digging into the sheets as he starts to crawl towards you, encasing your frame with his own. His large hand comes up to cup your cheek, gentle and tender as he can manage.
The look on your face sends arousal straight to his cock. The fire in your eyes. Your lips greedily taking in his thumb to suck on it.
âYoonie⌠Yoonie⌠youâ it hurts so bad a-andââ You try to stutter out, though it is clear your heat makes it difficult to do any such thing, âI need youâ w-want you so bad a-and itâs gonna feel so good I promise! Please!â
You whine, kicking your legs slightly in both annoyance and need. It sends a quiet chuckle through Yoongi. The desperation in your tone is nothing less than amusing.
The glare you send back has that gummy smile on his lips planted firm as he pulls away.
âIâm serious! It hurts so bad Yoongi!â You practically hiccup, tears brimming in your eyes from lack of contact. A million emotions at once running through you. Unsure of which you truly want to act on or feel. But you trust him. You know heâs going to take care of you.
âI know.â Is all he says. He kneels in front of you, taking in your form. Getting one last look before he finally gives in to the desires heâs had since first entering the home. Scanning you from head to toe.
When they move lower, finally glancing down between your legs he knows he canât hold back anymore. Youâre soaked throughâ underwear practically transparent as it clings to your needy heat.
How many times did you cum before he came home? How many times did you break down in a sob because it didnât feel as good as when he was with you? How desperate did his poor thing get?
His gaze hardens, hands moving with sudden precision as he undoes his belt. Any embarrassment, any childish excitement has been squashed down. Entirely different beast taking over.
His slacks are quickly pushed down along with his briefs, cock finally springing free. A hiss leaves his lips, a small amount of relief taking over. A gasp leaves your own, face suddenly trainedâ not daring to look away as if he would disappear.
His hand wraps around the base, squeezing it slightly to try and find some peace. But he knows there will be none. Not until heâs inside of you. Not until heâs filling you with his knot. Until youâre satisfied and whining for him.
âShit.â He grunts, though itâs clear itâs not directed at you.
âYoongiâŚâ You mumble. Eyes begging, pleading.
âI know honey⌠hurts so badâŚâ His hand gently grazes your ass, rubbing gentle circles into the skin. He likes you like this, a perfect view of the world just for him. Your back pressed against the mattress, hips turned to the side, legs together. You look so cute.
His fingers dip lower, gently threading themselves under the too-thin material of your underwear. Pushing it aside so the air of the room hits your core.
His breath pauses at the sight. Fuck.
Heâs already addicted.
âJust let me take care of you.â He sighs, allowing his thumb to gently circle around your hole. Never dipping inside, never filling you like you cave so intricately. Instead, his cock presses against your cunt. Messy, red head so close to entering you. So close to filling you. To breeding you.
A chill runs down your spine, looking up at your boyfriend with all of the stars in your eyes. Youâre going to die if he keeps standing there like he has the patience of a saint. Like heâs going to tease and torment you until you explode when really he knows that you just need him inside and everything in the world will be right again.
âBaby⌠focus on meâŚâ His words are gentle, soothing. Somehow shining through your heat and allowing you to understand his words for the first time with perfect clarity. He is the only one in the world that matters.
âYouâre gonna take all of me yeah? I donât need to prep your pretty cunt at all do I? I mean look at it, so wet. So ready. You can take it right?â You practically growl in response, annoyed that he even paused fucking you to ask such a thing. When he could be fucking you. Could have made you cum 3 times already!
The wiggle of your hips leaves him smirking, âOkay, I just wanted to make sure you could take it. Since itâs hurting so bad and all.â The cocky grit to his voice lets annoyance coat your veins. Makes you want to pounce on him, sink down on his cock untilâ
He smiles, watching the gears turn in that little head of yours. Watching as you process everything with such confused need. Ah, he might as well give into what you truly want huh? Finally let the cord snap for himself as well.
He squeezes the base of his cock once more before sliding his hand over the entire length. Pre-cum practically drips from the tip as he slowly rubs the head of his cock over your swollen lips, dragging your messy arousal over himself.
Slowly, deliberately, he presses the tip against your cunt, less than a centimeter away from thrusting inside. Hand dragging up his length a final time as his cock twitches with desire. Thumb coming up to the tip, aiding his cock as he finally painstakingly thrusts the head inside.
His cock slowly forces its way into your hole, stretching you in a way you could have never before fathomed. Something between a moan and a cry breaks out of your throat, the pain, the burning finally ceasing once he's inside of you.
His thumb moves up to your clit, flicking gently over the bud in a way that has your back arching off of the bed. Soon, heâs pressing down harshly, almost painfully that has you coughing out a whine. One that you wouldnât imagine hiding away from him. It finds its place, moving gentle circles around your clit to keep you going. Keep you complacent while he fills you with his cock.
He doesnât allow himself a break to breath, knowing the second that he does heâs going to lose himself completely. Yoongi is a patient man, but youâre the straw that breaks the camel's back every single time. His end, his epiphany.
When his hips finally meet your own, when youâre finally filled to the brim with nothing but Yoongi you find yourself falling apart. Youâve been waiting too long to hold off any longer. The whole day you spent trying to find a satisfying release yet nothing could compare to this. To this feeling.
Walls flutter around him, pulling him close. Making him stay close to your eyes. Mouth cresting into a small moan as your nails dig into the sheets. Allowing waves of pleasure to run down your spine, all the way into your toes.
He stays completely still, allowing you to use him like you need. Allowing you to fall apart into nothing more than your base safe around his cock. The sight is one he wishes he had a picture of. One he could keep forever.
âFuck.â The words come down in a harsh breath as his body moves down to cage your own. Your walls still flutter around him greedily, the effects of your orgasm not placating your heat in the slightest, âDid the pretty girl just really cum for nothing? Just used me as a fucking cocktoy, huh?â
His breath is hot in your ear, immediately extinguishing any relief you once had from your release. You need him more than ever. You donât think you could ever live without him. You don't want to.
A harsh groan leaves his lips as he finally starts to move his hips. Long and painfully slow thrusts are all you get from him. All heâs willing to give you. If he gives you any more he knows he's going to fall apart.
âWhat? Couldnât have just used a dildo for that huh?â His lips spit venom straight into your ear. Every single syllable sends arousal straight to your gut, pussy clenching around him. Itâs rare he talks like this. Rare heâs vocal at allâ itâs the only real sign you have of how much youâre affecting him. How much heâs revelling at your shrine.
A quick scoff leaves his lips, hips speeding up becoming harsher. âPoor thing. Doesnât even know what she wants. Will just take what I give her. Isnât that right?â
He leans backwards, hand gripping your ass cheek as he fucks his hips into your cunt faster. Harder. You swear you could feel him in your lungs. Feel him become a part of you entirely. Swear you could live with him inside of you just like this.
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room, chorused by the sounds of pleasure that fall messily from your lips. Blunt nails dig into your hips as he flips you fully onto your back, thrusts his cock as deep into your tender walls as heaven will allow.
Another cuss leaves his lips as he feels somehow deeper than before. Fucking open your pussy on his cock as if it is his only purpose.
âWhen I came in here,â Your legs are pulled over his shoulders, cock pounding into you at a brutal pace, âI was going to make love to my sweet omega.â
He grunts, looks down at you with some concoction of lust and love drawn across his features. One hand caressing up your leg in such a sweet motion that itâs hard to fully comprehend when just a little lower heâs fucking into you like an animal. His pointer and middle finger lace under the chain around your ankleâ the dainty anklet he gave to you with his initials. The one he always finds himself playing with. The one that reminds him that you belong to each other.
âBut then I saw a messy little thing. One that couldnât even wait for me to come home. Had to play with her pussy all on her own,â His other hand wraps around your hip, blunt nails digging into the tender skin, âAnd I knew she just needed to be fucked and bred.â
Your cunt clenches around him as a moan falls from your lips. Hips arching up, trying to meet his thrusts with everything you have left.
âYouâd like that huh? To be fucked over and over again until youâre bred full of my pups?â He grunts, his cock twitching in response to his own words. You, on the other hand, are a complete mess. Heat completely takes over your brain. Dismissing any logic and reason you mightâve had. Replacing it with incessant need. Wanting Yoongi to do nothing more than fulfil those very words.
You nod your head frantically, hands twisting into the sheets as you try to ground yourself. Try to stay in whatever reality still exists. Deep down you know there isnât one. Not when Yoongi is making promises like this to you.
The base of his cock starts to swellâ he knows he wonât last much longer at all. He starts to catch at your opening, stretching you farther, causing a mewl to leave your lips at the sting. Try to adjust to it as he fucks into you as deep and as hard as he can. Forcing you to take it, take all of him.
âFuck the poor thing over and over again until sheâs dripping for weeks. Fuck her until weâre sure sheâs gotta be full.â All of a sudden, youâre falling over the edge again. A heart stopping, head pounding orgasm taking over every square inch of skin, lighting it ablaze with a fire that could never be quelled.
âPlease! Please Yoongi!â You beg wistfully, not sure of what youâre saying entirely as the rush of dopamine courses through your system. Dotting your vision and clouding your brain of any real ideas of visions. The waves or orgasm leave you clamping down around his cock once again, urging him to knot you.
âPlease Alpha!â The nickname, one that is never meant for him sends him entirely over the edge. His hips stuttering, forcing himself as deep as he can inside of your wet heat as white begins to paint the inside of your walls. Knot finally swelling to full size, keeping him locked inside and he takes all of the pleasure youâre willing to give to him.
Soft breaths slowly fill the room, bodies slowly untensing as the pressure is finally relieved. Even if itâs only for a moment, the bliss is insurmountable. The feeling of being connected, of being cared for has you reaching out to him. Wanting attention, wanting love. Well, at least until the next round of your heat decides to come and his knot retracts in size.
A soft smile overtakes his face, fingers circling the bone of your ankle to soothe you. His other hand comes up, quickly pushing the hair out of his eyes.
Heâs so gentle. A complete 180 from the man he was only minutes before. Ever so carefully moving your legs away from him, shifting you onto your side as he moves in front of you. Sliding his thigh in between your legs to keep you close. Going as slow and meticulous as he can as to not hurt you with his cock still nestled deep inside.
He pulls you close, tucking your head under his chin. Despite how sticky and gross you suddenly feel, youâre overcome with a sense of safety. Of belonging that only Yoongi ever seems to be able to provide.
A quiet âthank youâ leaves your lips as you gently press a kiss against his chest. Smiling like an absolute idiot now that youâre held in your boyfriend's arms. Hunger satiated.
He hums quietly, running his fingers up and down the skin of your back. Gently scratching it in the way he knows you adore. Trying to not think too hard about the way you begged for himâ begged for your alpha even though he knows heâs no such rank.
He almost wishes he never spilled the kink to you one drunken night. He was too careless, too oblivious about sharing the one thing heâs kept secret his entire life. An omega wanting to be called an alpha is taboo, something that could get him seriously hurt. But the way you say it so pretty has him wanting it to be the only thing he hears for the rest of his life.
It fills him with pride. With greed. With so many things at once itâs hard to hold himself back.
âWasnât too much right?â He asks softly, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. You quickly shake your own in response looking up at him like heâs the only thing that matters.
âPerfect.â You confirm, nodding with determination.
He canât help but smile at you. Nothing else he wants to do, really. He fully intends on spending the rest of his life with you, just like this.
Youâll never know what you do to him, he doesnât think. Never know the way you make him feel so wanted. So needed as not only a partner but a person as well. Never fully comprehend the innate way that you complete him. Make him feel warm. Filled in every missing hole he had in his heart with your own.
He never thought another omega would be able to do that. Never thought he would find a mate of his own that he truly cares aboutâ loves in the way that he does you. He has to be the luckiest man in the world. At least heâll always believe so.
âI love you.â
445 notes
¡
View notes
Do you want to cry? đđđ This was devastatingly beautiful and so fucking sad! It was very hard for me read because of all the cheating (I really don't read those, because I don't enjoy them). But this has been on my list since forever and I like the author 𼚠though, I will say that I appreciate it for the plot, so fucking sad and the writing is so wonderfully beautiful ⨠I am sure someone else might find it to their taste, which is why I recommend đ
It is so freaking sad though, like I cried. A lot. Hauntingly beautiful, though I don't want them to be together, because they both be hurting each other so much đđ
under the spell of a demonâs touch (m)
â˝ Pairing:Â Jimin x Reader
â˝ Genre: incubus!AU, angst, smut, fluff the holy trio
â˝ Summary: You had believed, for your entire life, that creatures of the underworld were only a myth but you were proven wrong by the existence of Jimin. He is, according to his definition, a smaller type of Fae called Incubus. A creature of sex. Someone that can only live and strive as long as his sexual appetite is satiated every day. And Incubi are known in all of their myths to be insatiable and ravenous creatures.
âł alternatively: sending all our souls to rot in hell.
â˝ Word Count: 14.872 words
â˝ WARNINGS: graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, cheating, cuss words, dirty talk, blindfolds, handcuffs, oral sex, name calling, choking, hair pulling, butt plugs, spanking, rough sex, window sex, squirting, anal, vibrators.
The building stands tall in front of your eyes, rows upon rows of seemingly endless windows all uniform in their anonymous simplicity.
Your heels tap on the white linoleum floor of the hall full of people walking haphazardly to finish the assignments of the morning before their lunch break starts.
You walk through them with calmness in your steps, chin held up high as you reach the elevator, a bag full of food in your free hand.
There is a smile stretched on your lips and it is due to the thought of the pleasant lunch you are about to have with your lover â a surprise you are quite sure he is going to appreciate.
Keep reading
5K notes
¡
View notes
Incredible. Masterpiece. Amazing.
Yes, I often throw these words at you, but your writing just isâ THAT ⨠Just with this teaser, you set everything so perfectly up, and I loved that it was from Jungkookâs POV. I can not wait to read what is going to happy, how fucked he truly is, because damn, OC sounds like a snack đ I canât wait for the drama, the hurt, the smut, the everythingâ GIVE ME FUCKING EVERYTHING!
I saved a few lines that I really loved and have some notes too, lol đ¤
âShit, he thinks he might even hear bells in the distance.â
Okay. Jungkook. Take a break. You havenât even asked her to marry you yet 𤣠And I have a feeling it might not be bells, but sirens youâll hear đŤŁ
âThe one thing Jungkook canât have.â
I love it! We often want the one thing we canât have. So fucking good!!!!
âAnd Jungkook knows right then and there that heâs fucked. Entirely, thoroughly, immensely fucked.â
Iâm laughing so bad, but poor Jungkook. I can just imagine all the blue balls he will be getting 𫣠Until something happens, perhaps??? đ¤
Anyway, Ella, this teaser was funny, cute, sexy, funny, and so fucking amazing. I loved all the imagery you used, god, I love that shit, and your writing is just so easy and fun to read, like the small jokes? Iâm rambling and fangirling okayâ you are one of my favorite authors on here, and Iâve missed you and I seriously canât wait for Fridays to bring something good again â¨đŻ
Chasing Cars | teaser (jjk)
âsummary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
âpairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
ârating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)
âgenre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
âwarnings: alcohol consumption, curses
âword count: 1.1k
âa/n: teaser time babyyyy!! I hope you guys love it :') thank you to @moonleeai and @jessikahathaway for beta-ing, you guys are the best <3
âseries masterpost
âadd yourself to the taglist here!
âââââ
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
âââââ
The hour is late. Jungkook is tipsy, far more than he thought heâd get tonight, but then again, Taehyung is not in a better state, and Sera, Jiminâs girlfriend, had to force him to go home before they got too drunk.
Theyâre all supposed to help Taehyungâs little sister move in tomorrow, Jungkook included.
âMan,â Taehyung lets out, and Jungkook looks away from the game of Smash theyâre playing - that heâs majestically losing - to focus on Taehyung.
âWhat?â he lets out.
âCanât believe Y/n will be here tomorrow,â Taehyung answers.
âCanât believe youâre forcing me to live with a girl.â
Taehyung chuckles. âDonât worry, Y/n is chill.â
Jungkook doesnât doubt she is, considering how well he gets along with Taehyung, and Taehyungâs made it seem that he gets along well with his sister. He imagines Y/nâs just going to be a mini Taehyung, which frankly could be fun to have around.
But he doesnât know anything about her other than the fact that she is Taehyungâs little sister.
âYou know,â Taehyung adds as the game finishes. âI meant to tell you something.â
Jungkook cocks his pierced eyebrow in question. âYeah?â
âJust wanted to say that if you touch my sister, youâre fucking dead.â
Jungkook bursts out laughing, shaking his head, but Taehyung remains entirely serious. Like he meant what he just said - could he?
âYouâre joking right?â Jungkook asks as his laughter fades away.
âNo, Iâm dead ass,â Taehyung insists. âYou breathe in her direction, and youâre dead.â
âDamn.â Jungkook widens his gaze, and then picks up the beer heâs been slowly drinking since Jimin left. âUnderstood.â
Hell, Jungkook knows that he sleeps around. Taehyung does the same - he canât help but understand Taehyung when he says to stay away from his sister. And he thinks itâll be easy. Y/nâs probably just going to be a clueless baby college kid, and though Jungkook doesnât mind going for younger, heâll have plenty of new faces to explore once Frosh week starts next week anyways.
So he promises Taehyung he has nothing to worry about, and they play a couple more games before they head to bed.
Jungkook wakes up early the next morning, the sun shining right in his face the most efficient alarm heâs ever used before. He wants to go to the gym before helping Taehyungâs sister, and though he hates being awake so early, he immediately forces himself to get up lest he falls back asleep.
His workout goes well, and heâs pleasantly sore when he heads back home. Heâs lucky - he manages to park not too far from the apartment. Heâs walking home, gym bag in one hand and his phone in the other, when Taehyung texts him to ask where he is.
Jungkook types âFuck offâ, pressing send as his attention is solely on his phone.
Until said phone flies out of his hand as he collides with a girl he didnât notice, and Jungkook watches in horror as the device falls in a flower bed.
âShit, Iâm so sorry,â you say, and you immediately dive into the flower bed, retrieving Jungkookâs phone.Â
You hand it to him, and Jungkook just stares at you, mouth agape. Heâs aware heâs staring and that he probably looks stupid, but heâs dumbfounded.
Youâre the most beautiful girl heâs ever seen, and heâs seen a lot.
âDonât worry about it,â he answers quickly when you cock an eyebrow, your cheeks slowly turning red. âI wasnât looking where I was going.â
âAt least it didnât break,â you say, and you flash him a quick smile.
It does things to his heart that Jungkook barely comprehends - itâs like his heart is going miles a minute, yet itâs soothing, warm, much like the pavement feels in the summer when the sun has just dipped below the horizon.
âRight, yeah,â Jungkook answers, and his cheeks burn.
His cheeks fucking burn, and he wishes he could just disappear, dive below the ground until you canât see him anymore. You just keep on smiling, eyes never disconnecting from his, and he wonders if you, too, feel like he does.
Shit, he thinks he might even hear bells in the distance.
You glance away, and itâs like heâs falling forward while not moving at all, and all he can do is pathetically clear his throat, as if thatâs going to offer any help.
âI see youâve met Y/n!â Taehyung yells from behind you, and Jungkook freezes.
Jungkook freezes, and then something burns in his lungs, like heâs under the surface struggling for futile oxygen he knows he wonât find.
You are⌠Taehyungâs sister.
Youâre Y/n.
His best friendâs little sister.
The one thing Jungkook canât have.
It makes him feel cold, his heart suddenly dropping in the Arctic sea amongst the icebergs.Â
âWe literally ran into each other,â you say, looking back towards your brother.
And Jungkook sees it - your hair is the same shade as Taehyungâs, your face has the same shape. The smile though - your smile is different from Taehyungâs, and maybe thatâs why he was fooled.
Fooled for a few seconds which felt like an eternity.
You walk away then, heading to the open back door of a car. You grab a box, and Jungkook puts his phone in his pocket, eyeing a bag on the backseat.
âDo you want me to bring this in?â he asks.
Only because he wants you to look at him again. His heart flutters in his chest when you do, and he forces it down with a swallow as you nod once.
âYes, please!â
Jungkook nods too, and he grabs the bag before following you in. His right foot lands on the first step leading to the apartment when Taehyung stops him with a hand on his arm.
Jungkook frowns slightly, meeting his best friendâs gaze.
âIâm serious, JK,â Taehyung says through gritted teeth. âYou fucking touch her, youâre dead.â
And Jungkook knows right then and there that heâs fucked. Entirely, thoroughly, immensely fucked.
Because he already wants you, and he hasnât even talked to you for more than twenty seconds.
âDonât worry,â he reassures Taehyung, and he hopes Taehyung canât hear how fake he sounds.
How is he supposed to resist indulging in you when he already knows youâre all heâs ever wanted?Â
He really is entirely, thoroughly, immensely fucked.
âââââ
Chapter one coming on May 10th, 2024!
What did we think? Are we excited to read?? Let me know here!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
Taglist: (strike-through means dumblr isn't letting me tag you)
@jjkluver7 | @lavender2ari | @srslythis-ismylife | @starlight-1010 | @mggv97
@cookysstuff | @02010802 | @kookieleshgo | @biaswreckersinc | @hera19
@ice | @nightapple | @jungkussyficrecs | @boyfriendtaekook | @montyfbaybee
@babystarcandyjk97 | @goldentea10 | @lovingkoalaface | @parapiop7 | @parking-lotnights
@junecat18 | @blr1004 | @buddybops | @kookssecret | @busandbby_jjk
@superchamchi88 | @goldenjeonkoo | @raraluvz | @lovelye79 | @boyswithjun
@skzthinker | @michellekosmos | @8balljk | @kooklovee | @kingofbodyrolls
@ll4l | @kissyfacekoo | @ggukiepie | @moon-gyi | @apples0-0
@jcrl99 | @iammeandmeisiam | @kookoo-kachoo | @marvelbun | @lalaren
@sugas-baby-girl | @glossminmin03 | @kocoreads | @carriereadsbooks | @aiiselle90210
@FeyOcean | @khuderutu | @stuti2904 | @ziya.exe | @shortnspicier
@wiseboojumtree | @bobagukks | @vrusha01 | @lilyy07 | @younhakim29
@screamertannie | @wisebouquetbarbarian | @pixiekook | @nanjeonlangakook | @jcnggukie
@ggukkieland | @phanniefoo | @jksctrl | @sp1derk0ok | @hyukal0ml
@mysjammy | @lesiacapouille | @shearttttttttt | @hobibbb | @mochifuzz
@kooksbunnnn | @moonchilddna | @libra04 | @vminkookgf | @jayrielle27
@tulips4u | @jinniejax | @chimmisbae | @sumzysworld | @imene_ghd
@gguksflowers | @sadgirlroo | @kissme-ornot | @mar-lo | @kazkookiekazookie
@infiresyg93 | @junggukjeonfreakinwife | @sweet-pinee | @chimchimmarie | @pamzn
230 notes
¡
View notes
Omg omg omg omg đĽľđ So much smut, so beautiful and so freaking detailed, WHAT!? This was incredible, okay, if you havenât read this one yet, please go and give it a read đĽšđŻ
âpour up. (m)
âś pairing: jungkook x reader x taehyung
âś genre: fuckboy!jungkook / fuckboy!taehyung + smut Â
âś words: 14,048 (idk how itâs literally just smut)
âś rating: 18+
âś summary: sleeping with both notorious frat boys kim taehyung and jeon jungkook doesnât sound so bad â especially when youâre drunk and faded.
✠warnings: mentions of drug/alcohol use, essentially pwp lol, threesome, double penetration, voyeurism, messy rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dry humping, manhandling, doggy style, riding (sort of?), fingering, oral sex (f and m receiving), face riding, face fucking, deepthroating, breast play, slight begging (mostly oc making jungkook beg hehe), brief name calling, dirty talking, unprotected sex, creampie
âś note: this is a repost of a fic from my old blog! also shout out to miss jlin @bratkookâ for being the sweetest and for liking this trashy fic of mine, and a happy early birthday present to @onherwingsâ miss juno, the resident taekook lover!! đ
also the accompanying song to this fic is pour up by dean!
Keep reading
7K notes
¡
View notes
My mood when this dropped in my notifs đđ I'll enjoy reading this later and I can't wait to have my Fridays spend with you again Ella đ
Chasing Cars | teaser (jjk)
âsummary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
âpairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
ârating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)
âgenre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
âwarnings: alcohol consumption, curses
âword count: 1.1k
âa/n: teaser time babyyyy!! I hope you guys love it :') thank you to @moonleeai and @jessikahathaway for beta-ing, you guys are the best <3
âseries masterpost
âadd yourself to the taglist here!
âââââ
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
âââââ
The hour is late. Jungkook is tipsy, far more than he thought heâd get tonight, but then again, Taehyung is not in a better state, and Sera, Jiminâs girlfriend, had to force him to go home before they got too drunk.
Theyâre all supposed to help Taehyungâs little sister move in tomorrow, Jungkook included.
âMan,â Taehyung lets out, and Jungkook looks away from the game of Smash theyâre playing - that heâs majestically losing - to focus on Taehyung.
âWhat?â he lets out.
âCanât believe Y/n will be here tomorrow,â Taehyung answers.
âCanât believe youâre forcing me to live with a girl.â
Taehyung chuckles. âDonât worry, Y/n is chill.â
Jungkook doesnât doubt she is, considering how well he gets along with Taehyung, and Taehyungâs made it seem that he gets along well with his sister. He imagines Y/nâs just going to be a mini Taehyung, which frankly could be fun to have around.
But he doesnât know anything about her other than the fact that she is Taehyungâs little sister.
âYou know,â Taehyung adds as the game finishes. âI meant to tell you something.â
Jungkook cocks his pierced eyebrow in question. âYeah?â
âJust wanted to say that if you touch my sister, youâre fucking dead.â
Jungkook bursts out laughing, shaking his head, but Taehyung remains entirely serious. Like he meant what he just said - could he?
âYouâre joking right?â Jungkook asks as his laughter fades away.
âNo, Iâm dead ass,â Taehyung insists. âYou breathe in her direction, and youâre dead.â
âDamn.â Jungkook widens his gaze, and then picks up the beer heâs been slowly drinking since Jimin left. âUnderstood.â
Hell, Jungkook knows that he sleeps around. Taehyung does the same - he canât help but understand Taehyung when he says to stay away from his sister. And he thinks itâll be easy. Y/nâs probably just going to be a clueless baby college kid, and though Jungkook doesnât mind going for younger, heâll have plenty of new faces to explore once Frosh week starts next week anyways.
So he promises Taehyung he has nothing to worry about, and they play a couple more games before they head to bed.
Jungkook wakes up early the next morning, the sun shining right in his face the most efficient alarm heâs ever used before. He wants to go to the gym before helping Taehyungâs sister, and though he hates being awake so early, he immediately forces himself to get up lest he falls back asleep.
His workout goes well, and heâs pleasantly sore when he heads back home. Heâs lucky - he manages to park not too far from the apartment. Heâs walking home, gym bag in one hand and his phone in the other, when Taehyung texts him to ask where he is.
Jungkook types âFuck offâ, pressing send as his attention is solely on his phone.
Until said phone flies out of his hand as he collides with a girl he didnât notice, and Jungkook watches in horror as the device falls in a flower bed.
âShit, Iâm so sorry,â you say, and you immediately dive into the flower bed, retrieving Jungkookâs phone.Â
You hand it to him, and Jungkook just stares at you, mouth agape. Heâs aware heâs staring and that he probably looks stupid, but heâs dumbfounded.
Youâre the most beautiful girl heâs ever seen, and heâs seen a lot.
âDonât worry about it,â he answers quickly when you cock an eyebrow, your cheeks slowly turning red. âI wasnât looking where I was going.â
âAt least it didnât break,â you say, and you flash him a quick smile.
It does things to his heart that Jungkook barely comprehends - itâs like his heart is going miles a minute, yet itâs soothing, warm, much like the pavement feels in the summer when the sun has just dipped below the horizon.
âRight, yeah,â Jungkook answers, and his cheeks burn.
His cheeks fucking burn, and he wishes he could just disappear, dive below the ground until you canât see him anymore. You just keep on smiling, eyes never disconnecting from his, and he wonders if you, too, feel like he does.
Shit, he thinks he might even hear bells in the distance.
You glance away, and itâs like heâs falling forward while not moving at all, and all he can do is pathetically clear his throat, as if thatâs going to offer any help.
âI see youâve met Y/n!â Taehyung yells from behind you, and Jungkook freezes.
Jungkook freezes, and then something burns in his lungs, like heâs under the surface struggling for futile oxygen he knows he wonât find.
You are⌠Taehyungâs sister.
Youâre Y/n.
His best friendâs little sister.
The one thing Jungkook canât have.
It makes him feel cold, his heart suddenly dropping in the Arctic sea amongst the icebergs.Â
âWe literally ran into each other,â you say, looking back towards your brother.
And Jungkook sees it - your hair is the same shade as Taehyungâs, your face has the same shape. The smile though - your smile is different from Taehyungâs, and maybe thatâs why he was fooled.
Fooled for a few seconds which felt like an eternity.
You walk away then, heading to the open back door of a car. You grab a box, and Jungkook puts his phone in his pocket, eyeing a bag on the backseat.
âDo you want me to bring this in?â he asks.
Only because he wants you to look at him again. His heart flutters in his chest when you do, and he forces it down with a swallow as you nod once.
âYes, please!â
Jungkook nods too, and he grabs the bag before following you in. His right foot lands on the first step leading to the apartment when Taehyung stops him with a hand on his arm.
Jungkook frowns slightly, meeting his best friendâs gaze.
âIâm serious, JK,â Taehyung says through gritted teeth. âYou fucking touch her, youâre dead.â
And Jungkook knows right then and there that heâs fucked. Entirely, thoroughly, immensely fucked.
Because he already wants you, and he hasnât even talked to you for more than twenty seconds.
âDonât worry,â he reassures Taehyung, and he hopes Taehyung canât hear how fake he sounds.
How is he supposed to resist indulging in you when he already knows youâre all heâs ever wanted?Â
He really is entirely, thoroughly, immensely fucked.
âââââ
Chapter one coming on May 10th, 2024!
What did we think? Are we excited to read?? Let me know here!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
Taglist: (strike-through means dumblr isn't letting me tag you)
@jjkluver7 | @lavender2ari | @srslythis-ismylife | @starlight-1010 | @mggv97
@cookysstuff | @02010802 | @kookieleshgo | @biaswreckersinc | @hera19
@ice | @nightapple | @jungkussyficrecs | @boyfriendtaekook | @montyfbaybee
@babystarcandyjk97 | @goldentea10 | @lovingkoalaface | @parapiop7 | @parking-lotnights
@junecat18 | @blr1004 | @buddybops | @kookssecret | @busandbby_jjk
@superchamchi88 | @goldenjeonkoo | @raraluvz | @lovelye79 | @boyswithjun
@skzthinker | @michellekosmos | @8balljk | @kooklovee | @kingofbodyrolls
@ll4l | @kissyfacekoo | @ggukiepie | @moon-gyi | @apples0-0
@jcrl99 | @iammeandmeisiam | @kookoo-kachoo | @marvelbun | @lalaren
@sugas-baby-girl | @glossminmin03 | @kocoreads | @carriereadsbooks | @aiiselle90210
@FeyOcean | @khuderutu | @stuti2904 | @ziya.exe | @shortnspicier
@wiseboojumtree | @bobagukks | @vrusha01 | @lilyy07 | @younhakim29
@screamertannie | @wisebouquetbarbarian | @pixiekook | @nanjeonlangakook | @jcnggukie
@ggukkieland | @phanniefoo | @jksctrl | @sp1derk0ok | @hyukal0ml
@mysjammy | @lesiacapouille | @shearttttttttt | @hobibbb | @mochifuzz
@kooksbunnnn | @moonchilddna | @libra04 | @vminkookgf | @jayrielle27
@tulips4u | @jinniejax | @chimmisbae | @sumzysworld | @imene_ghd
@gguksflowers | @sadgirlroo | @kissme-ornot | @mar-lo | @kazkookiekazookie
@infiresyg93 | @junggukjeonfreakinwife | @sweet-pinee | @chimchimmarie | @pamzn
230 notes
¡
View notes
BTS fic recs: March 2024
I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ⨠All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart đĽš
âMost of these fics are smutty or dark as hell, so minors dni.âÂ
If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their facesđ Letâs share and give lots of love!
Looking for more to read? Check âThe Libraryâ or last years recs đ
[index] â jan | feb (jhs) | đ (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(knj) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |
Emoji meaning â angst = đŠď¸, smut = đĽľ, fluff = đĽ°, comedy = đ, yandere = đ, thriller/dark = đť, fantasy = đŞ.Â
âMistletoe @belovedkingx [9.3k]Â
// knj x f.reader // christmas!au, f2l // đĽ°đĽľ
đ christmas is all about spending time with the ones you love, having fun and creating beautiful memories but that was never how it turned out for you. You were dreading the annual family Christmas, but an idea was proposed to you, and shockingly Namjoon agreed to it as well as yourself. But will it help or will it turn out to be a mistake?
đ¨ď¸ this was just so cute đĽšđĽ°
âHoliday Shambles @ressjeon [5k]Â
// knj x f.reader // christmas!au, married!au // đĽ°đĽľđŠď¸
đ when you have to spend time with both your parents and Namjoonâs snobby ones for this Christmas, youâre forced to show the best version of you even knowing whatâs to come. youâre ready, right? after all, youâre the best wife arenât you?
đ¨ď¸ this is so hilarious, cute and sweet 𼚠Loved itâ¨
âNew Guy @kithtaehyung [5k]
// knj x f.reader // university!au, e2l // đĽľ
đ all you want to do is have a successful meeting after experiencing dwindling attendance. but the new guy is completely disrupting things⌠or is he?
đ¨ď¸ so many feels about this one; all good and dirty ones!!! I had a feeling about the twist but I wasnât sure. But I would very much love for a Joonie in grey joggers to knock on my door please đĽşđ¤ Anyway, it was extremely good, as is everything you do and write! And it was so fucking HOT, like the tension, incredible! It really had me 𼾠So, so fucking goodâ love it đđŻ
âEntirety @btsgotjams27 [3.3k]
// knj x f.reader // slice of life!au, f2l // đĽľđĽ°
đ namjoon is the complete package, except for the fact that he wonât make the first move.
đ¨ď¸ AFGJFKGHLKFDHGJGKJHGâ đĽľđĽľđĽľ Yes, Iâve resulted to key smashing because Iâm speechless, but Iâll try to give a few words anyway: first, this was incredibly hot, I canât even begin to articulate properly, and the writing, like Iâm a so in love with the writing, like the language is so descriptive and imaginative that I can clearly imagine every little fucking detailâ and the words? Well they just flow seamlessly! â¨
âMy Plus One @btsgotjams27 [5.4k]
// ksj x f.reader // fake dating!au, i2l // đĽ°đŠď¸
đ when you and jin have weddings to attend, you decide to help one another by agreeing to being each other's plus ones.
đ¨ď¸ It was so sweet, it was cute and fluffy and so damn funny! Like there were so many times I was just laughing with the biggest grin plastered on my face. So thank you, thank you for writing this and for cheering me up â¨đŻ
âMeet Me at the Bar [epilogue] @eoieopda [7.5k]Â
// ksj x f.reader // law school!au, study buddies, bf2l // đĽ°đđĽľ
đ you're supposed to be staring down the barrel of the last â and most important â examination of your life, but you only have eyes for your study buddy.
đ¨ď¸ omg these two cute fools are so fucking adorable đ It was really good, loved everything in it, the writing, the characters and how they have been in love with each other for so long but never said anything to each other, and FINALLY, BAM â¨
âForever @oddinary4bts [25.2k]
// ksj x f.reader // idol!au, ex-fiancĂŠs to lovers // đĽ°đĽľđŠď¸
đ three years ago, your relationship with jin ended in fights and tears. When life puts him back on your path, you catch a glimpse of light in his eyes that you thought had died when you broke up. Will your relationship blossom into a well-deserved forever or will you lose the love of your life again?
đ¨ď¸Â so much love and sadness in this! The nostalgia is high, thereâs a lot of feelings, a lot of heartbreak. The thoughts about going back for fear of getting your heart broken again, or moving on and shielding the broken pieces of heartbreak? Fuck! So fucking good. Iâve said it before, and Iâll say it again: everything Ella writes is just pure gold đĽšâ¨
âA Time Just for Us [part of a completed series] @bluewhale52 [5.4k]Â
// myg x f.reader // established relationship, idol!au // đĽ°đĽľ
đ you are desperate for a baby.
đ¨ď¸ I havenât even read the seriesâ like I started with this, but it was so freaking good! It was somehow cute, but very very very dirty đđĽľ
âCat Cafes and More @jeonsbabygirlsworld [0.7k]Â
// myg x f.reader // established relationship // đĽ°
đ you insist yoongi to visit the cat cafe which has cats up for adoption which ends up you adopting a white Persian cat even though you have holly with you both.
đ¨ď¸ omg this was just so fucking cute đđOverall just a really cute, fluffy and lovely drabble đĽ°đ
âLess of Them [ongoing series] @casuallyimagining [currently loading]
// myg x f.reader // established relationship, arranged marriage!au, star-crossed lovers // đĽľđŠď¸đĽ°đŞ
đ as the daughter of one of the oldest families in the kingdom, when the king decides that it's you he wishes to marry, you're forced to make a decision and fulfill your duty, leaving behind everything you've ever known--and the only man you've ever loved.
đ¨ď¸ this chapter was so fucking good, I donât even know where to begin! First, it was so sad and emotional (at least for me đ), like OC has been through so fucking much đ The poor thing is traumatized and the whole paragraph about her learning the royal life that her father never could have prepared her for đđđ Itâs such an amazing story, you simple have to read it if you havenât. Thereâs two out of three parts out.
âWould u? [3tan drabble ongoing series] @kithtaehyung [2.3K]Â
// myg x f.reader // brotherâs best friend!au // đĽ°
đ you see a certain fruit-centered trend online.. and decide to test it on yoongi.
đ¨ď¸ so fucking sweet and fluffy⌠This was just so cute, I just love this couple and I canât get enough of them omg 𼚠and reader being on her period and Yoongi just distracting her pain away, by naturally being himself and doing mundane things 𼚠so domestic I love it! đ⨠And the tangerines đđđđ
âStrawberry Sundae @youtifulhobi [6k]
// jhs x f.reader // slice of life!au, lifeguard!hobi, olympian swimmer!reader, established relationship // đĽ°
đ a few years after you begin dating Jung Hoseok, the two of you reminisce about how you met when he was a lifeguard and saved you from drowning, when in reality you had just fell off your strawberry floatie and he just wanted to talk to you.
đ¨ď¸ honestly, this is just fucking cute, adorable really! I really loved it and itâs definitely one of my favorite Hoseok fics now đĽ°đŻ
âSweetest Crush @minjoonalist [4.7k]
// jhs x f.reader // brotherâs best friend!au // đĽľ
đ what would you do if your friendâs younger sibling suddenly asks you for sex?
đ¨ď¸ KBFKDSBFKGH it was so filthy I donât even know what I read (also thereâs just something about a brotherâs best friend!!!) đĽľđ
âMelatonin @taeinparis [3k]
// jhs x f.reader // established relationship // đĽľđĽ°
đ sleeping at night was difficult for you, and atop of your boyfriendâs lawn mower-esk snoring, it was impossible. But luckily for you, he knows just the remedy to cure your sleeplessness (and hopefully his snoring).
đ¨ď¸ Iiiih this was so dirty, I loved it đ there was also a dash of fluff sprinkled in there, but mainly just smut đ đĽľâ¨
âOur âGet Alongâ Shirt @dreamyjoons [14.2k]
// pjm x f.reader // e2l // đĽľ
đ another day, another endless round of you and Jimin bickering. Itâs never ending, all-consuming, and your friends have had enough. Namjoon decides to end it once and for all - with help from a shirt for squabbling toddlers.
đ¨ď¸ JFHKJSFKSDJDHâ This was so fucking hilarious đ The sexual tension between them was SO HIGH 𼾠and when they finally snapped, oh dear God, it was so good! And the whole shit concept, so hilarious and their banter đ AND THE SWEAT??? Iâm weak okay!! So freaking good, I loved it so much and Namjoon and the rest of the gang were just priceless. Jin at the end had me laughing so hard đ¤đŻ
âJust a Taste @yoonieper [14.2k]
// pjm x f.reader // vampire!au, established relationship // đĽľđŠď¸đ
đ they said having a relationship with a human wasnât a good idea, but Jimin liked you too much to ever let that get in the way. Your relationship was beautiful, yes you didnât know that small important detail about him being a bloodthirsty vampire, but he had it under control. Thatâs at least what he thought, he never would have predicted a droughtâŚ.
đ¨ď¸ FUCK đ This was so fucking good I donât even know where to begin??? The story in itself was so extremely good, whaaat. And Jimin was so nice, and their love for each other, so fucking pure đ This was an emotional rollercoaster and I fucking loved everything about it đ and the smut, God, it was so goodâ I donât know what to say đ And then at the ending, the angst, fuck, I was so afraid if it was going to end just like that, but I was so glad that they found each other again đ This is a new favorite of mine, so good, it was slightly sad at times, like angsty, but the love that the have for each other, FUCK. So so fucking incredible đ Donât mind all the crying, itâs happy tears, I promise đđŻ Also, itâs mostly told in Jiminâs POV, which I just freaking love and it makes the story so good!!!
âHigh on Love @peachypinkygloss [6.4k]
// pjm x f.reader // established relationship, racer!jimin // đĽľ
đ Jimin has once again won a race and he takes you out on a ride for the night, taking dangerous but very exciting risks. He should have expected that the rush of adrenaline in your body always turns you into a horny mess.
đ¨ď¸ I am just BLOWN AWAY by the ficâ holy molly, was it dirty? Yes! Needy? Yes! Cute? Yes! Oh and the car racing, love, love, love! Like, everything in this. And the smut đĽľđĽľđĽľ I mean, it was so dirt and needy (yes I know Iâm using the same words, lol), but FUCK. Incredible! Another ont to add to my faves ⨠And a big bonus for the phone messages, because that was fucking hot too!!! đĽľđŻ
âBodyguard (thereâs a pt 2) @yoonpobs [2.1k]
// kth x f.reader // e2l, bodyguard!au // đĽľ
đ you protect taehyung from people but forget about the biggest threat. yourself.
đ¨ď¸ omg 𼾠This extremely good, so enticing and there was just all the build up sexual tension at the endâ ugh! So good! 𼾠There wasnât any smut in it, but damn it, it was still very lustful (I love those undertones). Whatâs not to love? Itâs short, sweet and sensual â¨đŻ Thereâs even a part two that I havenât read yet!!!
âNew Tricks @geniuslab [10.1k]
// kth x f.reader // dog trainer!au, s2l // đĽľđđĽ°
đ when your newly adopted puppy turns out to be a lot more work than you expected, a cute dog trainer comes to the rescue. You soon become friends, but you begin to realize friendship might not be all you want.
đ¨ď¸ awww this was so fucking cute and fluff, I loved it som much đđŻ
âIn my Head @sketchguk [8k]
// kth x f.reader // college!au // đĽľđŠď¸
đ taehyungâs friends love you ăź adore you. they probably want to fuck you, but theyâll never admit to it. instead, theyâll push taehyungâs limits in the middle of a frat party, testing just how close they can get to you before he takes you to bed in a fit of jealousy. and maybe, just maybe, one of his friends can have a taste too (if heâs lucky). Â
đ¨ď¸ okay, okay. This was hella 𼾠Like WOAH, filthy, steamy and just dirty! I am so mad at Taehyung though! Like why canât he be with OC? What is it that he canât give her? But tbh, with the way that heâs acting, I feel like she should just get with one of his friends instead đ Like, it seems like Guk loves her so much, or Jimin, the little freak he was in this đĽľÂ
âGold Rush @ditttiii [4.4k]
// kth x f.reader // s2l!au // đĽľđŠď¸
đ kim taehyung is a walking heartbreak waiting to happen. all narrow eyes and long nose and devilish smirks, he is everyoneâs dream. after months of sharing an elevator with the man who makes your heart race until you can scarcely breathe when the chance finally comes; are you willing to risk it all for his touch?
đ¨ď¸ OMGâ I finally got to read this, and FUCK. SHIT. It is INSANELY beautiful (and sad too đĽš). But goddamn it, the love OC has for Taehyung, oh my. And the bittersweet feelings are what makes this hauntingly beautiful đ Again, I have a hard time coming up with words, words for how beautiful this masterpiece truly is đ Justâ perfection đŻ Also, because it was so bittersweet, I really love the open ending, like getting to imagine whatever you like for this couple đđ
âTo Give a Helping Hand (part 2) @oddinary4bts [3.1k]
// jjk x f.reader // idol!au // đĽľ
đ when Jungkook finally approaches you at the gym, he realizes youâve been wanting him just as badly as heâs been wanting you.
đ¨ď¸ In case you havenât read part two, hereâs your psa to do so right now. Itâs just incredible (as everything that Ella writes, tbh â¨). OC is really being a brat in this one and JK is down baaaaaad đĽľ
âDesire [ongoing series] pt1 + pt2 @jeonsbabygirlsworld [3k]Â
// jjk x f.reader + myg x f.reader (ft. eunwoo) // slice of life!au // đĽľđŠď¸
đ life was easy until you meet the eye candy of your life and the adventure with him is a hell of ride, but there is certain someone who seems to get hurt in this.
đ¨ď¸ Itâs a very interesting story, itâs very complex and I canât wait to read more!
âWhen Worlds Collide [ongoing series] @letjungcoook7 [currently loadingâŚ]
// jjk x f.reader // college!au, slice of life!au, s2l, fuckboy!jk, virgin!reader // đĽľđŠď¸
đ since your mother's passing a year ago, life has been a whirlwind. balancing your passion for ballet with a low-key presence at college, where youâre the top student, was your norm until Jungkook stepped into your world. known for his reputation preceding him, jungkook is the talk of the campus with his casual rendezvous that have the girls buzzing. despite his allure, you're puzzled by his need for your tutoring prowess, especially given his own academic merit. yet, succumbing to his persistent requests, you reluctantly agree, only to find yourself thrust into the spotlight you've always avoided.
đ¨ď¸ Iâve read the first two parts and they are AMAZING! The story is so interesting and I already know that thereâs so much more to Jungkook and OC in this one. So exciting to read more!! â¤ď¸âđĽ
âLiquor Lips @letjungcoook7 [1.5k]
// jjk x f.reader // established relationship // đĽľ
đ author didnât write a summary.
đ¨ď¸ it was incredible good, like I want to read more (itâs not a series though!). Itâs the perfect dirty little one-shot/drabble â¤ď¸âđĽ
This month was really tough for me, mentally⌠I struggled with my own mental health and it got really bad. I was writing my major series (18 chapters god what was I thinking đ) at the same time (still am lol), and I struggled with reading as I used to, so the list isnât as long as normally, maybe, I did try to read a lot by the end of the month to make up for it. But yeah 𫶠Hopefully I have more time next month, because I expect to finish my series there, and then Iâll take a small break from writing and just read, because I really miss it đĽšÂ
If you want more, youâre more than welcome to follow me! I do monthly rec lists and sometimes I post my own writing too (only bangtan).Â
Love you and Borahae đ
452 notes
¡
View notes
Thank you so much for the tag @oddinary4bts đ
Why do you all look so pretty??? đ
Okay, this is me. Donât mind me 𫣠My hair is longer than this though, it goes down to my ass even when curly lol (I should really get a haircut đŤŁ)
Iâm tagging (no pressure though!)*: @letjungcoook7 @violetsiren90 @jeonsbabygirlsworld
*if you want to participate, just say I tagged you đ
@tomtomslongdong thank u for tagging me honey! you know i love cute shit like this hehehe
the goal is to make it look as much like yourself as possible, so <3
link to make your own here
pssssst please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you don't like being tagged in these but: @calumfmu @cinemabean @eddiesxangel @eiightysixbaby @ghostlyfleur @joshlmbrt @lighteyed @littlexdeaths @obriengf @urhoneycombwitch @xxbimbobunnyxx (alternatively if you enjoy participating in these and i didn't tag you pls lmk and i promise to tag you from now on)
481 notes
¡
View notes
Whhhaaattt đĽľđĽľđĽľ
Personal Trainer
Synopsis: You and your personal trainer, Jungkook, have a rough workout session.
Warnings: Cussing, Rough sex, Fingering, Praising and Degrading, Unprotected sex, Choking.
Pairing: DomTrainer!Jk x Fem!Reader
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Keep going you're doing so good." Jungkook spoke supportively as you squatted the heavy weight one more time. You let out a loud huff as you put the bar back, moving out from under it to stand straight. "Fuck are you trying to kill me?" I speak quickly, looking up at the tall male in front of me.
He grins proudly, reaching for the water on the bench next to y'all, tossing it over to you. You chug the water as you hear him begin to speak. "You're getting better. You're squatting more than you did last week, Y/n." He speaks fondly as he walks closer to you, taking the water you finished out of your hands. "You gotta do one last workout before we're done."
It was leg day and you knew he was about to kill you. One thing about Jungkook being your personal trainer is he did not play around. He pushed you to do your best, and if you couldn't, he'd make you. You looked over at Jungkook, noticing how his shirt rose a little as he moved to get the next workout ready. He was fucking hot and you weren't about to sit there and pretend he wasn't. His tattoos, his dark long hair and his piercing gave him the bad boy look girls loved, but Jungkooks personally and attitude drew you in. He was so hard working and respectful.
"Stop day dreaming and let's go." You heard him chuckle as you walked over to him. You noticed the heavy weighted dumbbell on the floor and you knew this was about to take you out. It may not seem a lot, but the way you work out for two hours straight with Jungkook, this was killer.
You tried to pull your shorts down a little for your own decency but they rolled right back up as you got into a shoulder width apart stance, ready to squat with this dumbbell in hand. You feel Jungkook stand behind you as a spot just in case. It was something you were used to but you couldn't help but feel flustered by it every time.
You were on your 15th squat before feeling yourself shake. Jungkook took a notice to this a spoke up, "You're almost there, keep going don't stop now." By the last rep you felt yourself losing your footing slightly causing you to step backwards, pushing your ass right back into Jungkook. Out of pure instinct he grabbed a hold of your waist keeping you pressed up against him as you dropped the dumbbell to the ground.
"Fuck, Jungkook i'm sorry my legs started to give out." You started to apologize as you tried to get yourself up straight. As you moved however, you heard a soft grunt from the male behind you.
You stood straight and looked up at him, drawing your gaze down his body noticing a print growing through his sweatpants. "Jungkook..." you spoke and diverted your gaze away from him completely. Turning your body to face away from him. Trying to change the mood of the situation you reach back down for the dumbbell again to finish the workout. Before you could even reach down fully for the dumbbell, you felt his hand rest on your back.
"Stand up." You heard Jungkook speak behind you. He sounded more stern, more serious than normal. You stood straight, your back still to him. "You feel what you did to me, Y/n?" you hear him speak lowly, closer to your ear. So close you feel the brush of his lips against your ear as he speaks, his breath giving you goosebumps. You nod your head slowly, in a state of shock. "Speak when you're spoken to. Use your voice." Jungkook wastes no time pressing himself against you again, reminding you that this was your fault. "Y-yes." How could you NOT feel it?
"This want you want, huh? Want my dick hard for you? I notice how you work and look at me, Y/n you're not as slick as you pretend to be." He spoke aggressively as he started peppering kisses against your neck. Pushing you to walk over to a bench used for bench pressing. You couldn't even get a word out as you moaned at the feeling of him against you and his lips on your neck.
He pulls away and sits on the bench leaving you standing there before him. He eyes you up and down, manspreading as you see his tongue moving his lip piercing as he takes you in. "Strip." He says so casually as if he didn't just ask you to get naked in front of him. In a gym at that. "Jungkook, we're in public." You began to protest before he speaks up. "Private Trainer means it's private. Do what you're told." He's confident with each demand. You have no other reason of protest, he knew you wanted this and damn did you want it.
You pulled the tight black shorts you had on along with your sports bra, leaving you bare in front of him except for the black thong you had on. You went to take those off as well. "Keep em'." Jungkook says as he stands to walk in front of you. His hand rests on your shoulder before making its way up your shoulder behind your neck, wrapping his hand around the nape of your neck rather roughly. His other hand trailing down your bare body to the place you ached the most for him. "Can I?" As demanding as he was, he wanted to make sure you were comfortable with what was about to happen. You nodded feeling his grip on your neck tighten before you spoke up. "Please." Your voice comes out quiet as you beg. If anyone else heard you, you'd be ashamed but you needed to feel Jungkook like it was the last thing you'd get to feel.
You felt his fingers quickly move your thong to the side as rubs along your wet slit. "Fuck you're soaked." The tone he spoke in could've thrown you into an orgasm. It was so vulgar in the best way. You gasped feeling his fingers slip inside you, curling inside you. Jungkook kept his grip on your neck, making you stand there, taking his fingers just how he wanted. "So tight and wet for me." He grunts in your ear, curling his fingers rather quickly inside you, causing your knees to buckle. "M-more please." You almost beg at the pleasure that just his fingers can give you. Your body shuddering with each thrust. "M gonna cum." You say quickly and almost sob at the empty feeling you get as he pulls his fingers out of you.
"Not till I say you can. Open." He says and brings his glistening fingers to your lips. You open for him and he puts his two middle fingers in your mouth. You suck in them as he asks, tasting yourself in his fingers. He hums at the sight and pulls his fingers away. "What a good little slut." He spoke and stepped away. He pulled his shirt off showing his toned muscles to you. You couldn't help but admire his body. Jungkook was handsome. He was undeniably pleasing to just look at it, and he knew it. You watch as he pulled the one thing hiding what you wanted most, down. His dick hit his abdomen and you had to hold yourself back from your jaw dropping. You had always assumed Jungkooks dick would've been big, but THIS. This was not what you expected. "You gonna be a good girl and come here or you just gonna stand there?" He asks, already sat down on the bench. His hand on his dick as he rubs his palm over the tip. Spreading his pre-cum around. You timidly walk over, scared for your own sake at the size of him. "Come on. Come ride me baby." you watch as he leans back in a sitting position as you swing a leg over, straddling him. You feel his tip against your core and you slowly lower yourself onto him. You let out a drug out moan feeling him feel you up. Not a single spot left untouched by him. "M fuck so wet for me." He grunts out, reaching a hand up to cup your breast in his hand, his other resting comfortably on your ass. "Move for me baby. Be a good girl." you clench around him at his words and start to move your body slowly up and down, slowly growing used to his size.
You feel a squeeze to your ass as your body bounces quickly with a smack to his thighs with each land. "S-so fucking big fuck." Your head is thrown back in pleasure, Jungkooks grunts only fueling the desire that was growing. You're so focused on your movements you don't feel Jungkook moving his hands to your waist. He lifts you up, making you stand to your feet only slightly, keeping his tip inside you. "Gonna fuck you good like you deserve. That what you want baby?" Your legs start to burn in pain as you nod your head violently. You feel a slap to your thigh as Jungkook speaks up. "I'm talking to you." He wants you to use your words. You couldn't take waiting any longer. "Please! Fuck me Jungkook, Please!" You cry out in a beg feeling Jungkook's hold on your hips tighten as he slams you back down onto him. His hips fucking back up into you. He's basically using you as his personal fuck toy and you love it. His hands guide you up and down to meet his own upward thrusts.
"What a slut." You hear him grunt. The lewd sounds of your wetness around him and the skin clapping with each thrust. "Letting me use you like the whore you are." He feels you clenching around him, signaling the orgasm that was approaching. "M gonna cum please let me cum!" you cry out as your stomach tightens. His thrusts stay the same. He knows he doesn't need to change the pace of anything to help you release what's building up. "Gonna cum all over my dick baby? Want you to cum for me."
Your body was almost limp as you release all over him. He didn't stop however. He was reaching his own release as well. "I-i can't Jungkook please." you cry out at the overstimulation, feeling your body start to grow weak. "I know baby hold on." With a few more thrusts, you felt Jungkooks own release coat your walls. You moan at the feeling as he pulls out of you. You straddle his waist out of breath and sweaty. You press chest against his, your body limp against him.
"Good workout today."
113 notes
¡
View notes
This part is just as good as the first part đ The sexual tension is so high, and oh my, it is so fucking hot 𼾠It is such an amazing series đŻ Itâs a shame that it probably wonât be continued (the author is on hiatus), but the two parts that are up are so good! đ
bodyguard ii. | kth | m
pairing: kim taehyung x oc
genre: enemies to lovers, Bodyguard!AU but oc is the bodyguard, fluff?
warnings: eventual smut, sexual tension, light choking, suggestive content bc oc is a minx and so is tae, i'll add as the story progresses, kim taehyung as a rich kid
words: 2, 733
summary: you protect taehyung from people but forget the biggest threat. yourself.
âSo thatâs the woman youâve been hard for,â Jimin clicks his tongue when he spots you a safe distance from Taehyung as your eyes are trained forward with your hands behind your back as you observe the surroundings.
Taehyung snorts, sipping through his champagne flute as Jimin ogles you further. Something about the way his friend is blatantly checking you out doesnât settle right with him so he elbows Jiminâs stomach with a brute force that has him doubling over.
âEyes here, Park.â
Jimin rolls his eyes as he leans against the countertop of the bar and smirks at Taehyung.
âWho says I canât look?â Jimin retorts.
âMe.â Taehyung glares at him.
A few business partners walk past Taehyung and offer him greetings of diplomacy and empty promises of getting drinks in their free time. Ever since he took over his fatherâs position as the CEO, more people seemed to want to kiss his ass when he was sure some of these faces have furrowed their brows at Taehyungâs antics prior to filling his fatherâs seat.
He didnât really blame them since Taehyung had always been more of a nonconformist by nature. Call it seeking the pleasures of life that werenât black and white but heâs been honest about his intentions from the very get-go.
Unfortunately, this was the very same behaviour that you heavily lamented Taehyung for. And every time he thinks of a time where youâve chided him on âbeing carefulâ or putting some form of an effort to give a shitâhe feels his internal thoughts grumbling at your berates.
âHow oddly ⌠possessive of you,â Jimin says dryly. But his eyes betray his friend's words as they rake your body one more time, but quick enough so that Taehyung doesnât spot it.
âI donât need one of my business partners fucking my bodyguard,â Taehyung snaps.
Jimin rolls his eyes at his friends as he adjusts the collar of his blazer, winking over at a few ladies that seem to be eyeing the two. If it were any other occasion, Taehyung wouldâve allowed his face to do the talking itself, but after the stunt that you pulled with Hyunbi, heâs definitely warier about the women that he involves himself with.
âWho said anything about fucking? There are a lot of things we can do that doesnât require my penis goingââ
Taehyung shoves his elbow into Jiminâs rib one more time the same time he spots you walking towards the pair.
âThere is a man by the name of Leonard Atkins that claims the staff have forgotten to put him on the list. Security wants to know if you know of this man and if not, what steps do we take?â Youâre all business when you place a finger on the earpiece that was likely transferring all the information to you.
For the first time tonight, Taehyung is able to see you up close and he internally groans at how form-fitting the dress looks on you as well as how flattering it was on your figure. When he first heard he was getting a new bodyguard, he simply brushed it off as another brawny male that he could probably throw a few jokes in here and there.
He didnât expect one of the most intimidating, yet sexiest women heâs seen in his life to step in front of him with a gun in her garter. Taehyung swore that he was going to remain professional but itâs proven difficult when you look like thatâethereal and with your navy blue dress with a slit that drew attention to all the right places.
âSir?â He hears your voice again as he snaps out of his momentary daydream.
Taehyung clears his throat and attempts to compose himself, hoping that it wasnât too obvious that he was thinking about how hot you were and instead considering the next course of actions to what youâve provided him with.
âYeah. Mr Atkins was my fatherâs former paralegal. Let him throughâbut get the guards to double-screen him. Heard he got fired and things didnât end so amicably.â
You nod, and as you parrot the instructions over to the security personnel through your earphone, Jiminâs eyes gleam with mischief.
âHi, I donât think weâve met. My nameâs Jimin,â He sticks his hand out like the suave gentlemen people saw him as, the other one wafting through his hair in a seductive fashion while he shot you the sultriest grin he could muster.
Taehyung saw through his best friend slash partners intentions and has every thought of dragging him aside and kicking him in the face. But, it seemed that your reaction was less than impressed as you eyed him up and down.
âOkay,â You return your gaze to Taehyung, eyes serious, âIâll let you know on any updates regarding Leonard.â
Jimin gapes, but heâs always been stubborn as he slots himself in between the space of you and Taehyung and offers you another award-winning smile.
âI donât think I got your name,â Jimin smiles flirtatiously.
All you do is raise an eyebrow at him.
âWell, you know Taehyungâs name so youâll eventually know who I am. Please, spare me the pleasantries.â You tell him before you turn around, adjusting the garter around your thigh that peeks out ever so slightly through the slit of your dress.
Taehyungâs breath hitches both at the way you dealt with his friend, in a fashion that no woman has ever had the ability to resist and with the peak of skin that flashes through. He distinctively remembers how warm you felt on top of him, chest pressed to his with your mouth inches awayâ
âGod sheâs so fucking hot,â Jimin groans.
Taehyung shoots him a bland stare before he hears his name being called by another stockholder that wishes to talk business.
âI meant what I said when I said you canât look,â Taehyung calls over his shoulder as heâs dragged to the side by a chatty man.
Jimin simply smirks at his friend, running his tongue over his plump lips as he skims his eyes over your body once again.
âThe car will be arriving in ten, Sir,â You tell Taehyung once the gala is over as he slips off his blazer to chuck it over the arms of the velvet sofa.
He groans, face burying into the pillows as you hover by the door, posture stiff and professional.
âYou donât need to call me Sir anymoreâweâre alone and despite popular beliefs, Iâm not into the whole Master Sir or Daddy shebang,â Taehyung mutters.
A slight twitch at the corner of your lips threatens a smile, but you donât make too much effort to hide it knowing that Taehyung canât see you.
You hum in acknowledgement as you slip off your heels for the night, setting them aside as you take a seat a fair distance away from him.
Taehyung finally sits up, face a little dented from where he pressed it into as he catches you sitting casually on the sofaâthe godforsaken sight of your thighs haunting his mind as the slit continuously exposes your garter.
âIsnât the gun in the garter a little cliche?â He points out.
You glance down to your leg and extend it, pointing to it as if to clarify that the black garter around your thigh was what Taehyung was referring too and he wants to curse himself out for digging himself a deeper hole into this lustful haze that heâs already in. Your thighs are fortuitously spread when you do so, and he wills himself to not imagine what lies between.
âWould you prefer me to carry a gun by hand to scare all of your snobby friends and clients off?â You counter.
He shakes his head and lets out a low chuckle as he averts his gaze from your skin, swallowing the saliva that he unknowingly gathered in his mouth.
âJust wondering,â He shrugs.
You snort.
Your eyes are comfortably trained on him that it makes him a little nervous. In fact, heâs been acting out of character ever since youâve left him to fiend for himself and he wants to blame it on his sexual appetite being deprived while you paraded around in compromising clothing that leaves little to the imagination.
It didnât help that you were just sexy by nature, even when you werenât actively trying to seduce him, your little gestures and words do spur the fantasy he has in his head further.
Itâs weirder because no one has made Taehyung feel so ⌠flustered ⌠it was usually the other way around and being at the shorter end of the stick definitely wasnât his cup of tea.
Before he knows it, youâre pushing yourself off the seat as you saunter towards him, and he wasnât sure if his eyes were deceiving him but your hips were swaying exponentially more than how you usually walked as you reach closer.
His eyes widen when you stick a thumb into your mouth as you lean forward, legs hooking over his hip as his breath hitches.
âW-What are youââ
You take the thumb that was in your mouth out and swipes it at the corner of his lips as you eye that spot intently. But all Taehyung can focus on is youâyou and you.
You smell like fruits and flowers, his favourite scents on a woman (it may be a coincidence that heâs had an affinity towards it only after you became his bodyguard) as well as how close your face was to his so youâre able to inspect whatever the hell you were doing with your thumb.
âThere was a lipstick stain. I donât think you need any more rumours, do you?â You tease.
And as soon as it comes, youâre gone.
Taehyung feels all the more empty and he feels a little uncomfortable with the way his pants are beginning to grow tighter. He wants to huff at how pathetic he was sporting a boner just because a pretty woman was up in his personal space.
He wasnât sure if that extra show with the hips or with your thumb in the mouth was intentional, but all he knew was that he was royally fucked and the only way he could get over it was to fuck you.
âCome here,â He snaps, tugging your waist towards him when you try to leave as your eyes widen.
He doesnât waste any more time before he slams his mouth against yours, engulfing you in a kiss that was both hot and desperate. You gasp against his lips, but that only makes him tug your hips closer to his as he presses your crotch against his own.
âWhat theââ You pull away, breathless but you arenât pulling away completely when you see the animalistic look on his face.
âYou know what youâre doing, arenât you?â Taehyung hisses when his hand cards through your hair to grab on it as he brings your face closer to his.
Your eyes are narrowed at him as you glare in his direction.
âWhat are you even talking about?â You exasperate, but your hips unconsciously press against this crotch in a way familiar to the first time where you were in a compromising position.
âWalking around in that fucking dress with your thigh outâsticking your thumb in your mouth and âwipingâ my faceâyou fucking minx,â He hisses when he latches his lips to your jaw, sucking a harsh mark on it.
You gasp and lean in further to his rough touch while he bites and licks at your skin, lips trailing southwards until he settles for a spot underneath your ear.
âYouâre so full of yourself if you think any of that was for you,â You spit.
He chuckles darkly against your neck as his hands reach down to palm at your tits over the material of your dress as he hisses.
âNo bra?â
You scoff and roll your eyes.
âIâm not here to have everyone see my straps in this dress,â You snap, gesturing to the obvious backless design of it all.
Taehyung smirks as he closes the distance between his mouth and yours one more time, effortlessly sneaking his tongue into the hot cavern of your mouth as he begins to lick behind your teeth, hands multitasking and pinching your nipples through the fabric.
You whimper and Taehyung feels himself grow uncomfortably hard.
He doesnât remember a time after your stunt that heâs managed to properly jack off because every time he pictures your face and your lips and your body when he thrusts into his own hand, heâs only left more desperate for your touch after he cums.
He grinds himself upwards against your core, and he can feel you throb through the material of the dress.
âFuck. No underwear too?â
âCreases âŚâ Is all you choke out when Taehyung tugs your hips forwards to grind against his pelvis while he moves his own.
Eventually, youâre grinding at your own accord, wetness seeping through your dress until youâre sure itâll leave a stain.
Driven by his desire, his hand reaches up to wrap a hand around your neck into a chokehold gentle enough to not constrict your airway but tight enough for it to be hot.
Your eyes widen when he experimentally squeezes, and heâs only proven with the fact that youâre the girl of his dreams when you moan and grind down on him harder.
âFuck. You act like youâre all mighty and big in front of everyone else but here you are pliant and needy under my hands, huh?â He mocks, a devious smirk appearing on his face.
You glare at him, but Taehyungâs other hand slaps your thigh at your defiance.
âFuck you,â You spit, but it turns out as a half whine when you grind yourself harder against his hardened cock.
Even through the material of his expensive slacks, you can tell how large he isâand the image makes you want more.
âIâm gonna fuck you stupid so you know whoâs in-charge, yeah?â He brings your face a hair breadthâs away from his own as he stares at you with his dark eyes and a snarl marring his face.
Youâre about to respond with a bratty remarkâbut the door slams open and youâre throwing yourself off of him at lightning speed.
Thank God for your super fast reflexes but fuck everything else for your inability to predict if youâd get caught.
You forgot that you were in the waiting room of the hotel at where the gala was held, and that the door was unlockedâbasically prompting anyone curious enough to enter with no barriers.
You try to even out your breathing, as well as your appearance but your hair is tousled with the way Taehyung was gripping it, and your dress was threatening to expose your bare breast at the way he grabbed at it earlier.
His business partner from earlier, Jimin, simply stands at the entrance of the door with wide eyes, but a knowing smirk plastered on his face.
Taehyung doesnât seem to be doing any better with the hardness of his cock still very much on show with his thighs spread wide, cheeks flushed with swollen lips as he evens out his breathing to acknowledge his sniggering friend.
âYou couldnât have knocked?â Taehyung grits irritably, shifting his pants to hide his prominent erection as your eyes avoid Jiminâs who is dead-set on just staring you down.
You return to your professional state, minus the heels as you attempt to stand by Taehyung, pretending like you werenât grinding against his cock a minute ago.
âMy apologies just wanted to let you know that your driver has been calling you for the past ten minutes and well ⌠it surely seemed like you were preoccupied.â Jimin snickers.
He looks you over once more and offers a wink as you clear your throat and offer a small bow of your head in embarrassment more than anything else.
âShame. Thought I stood a chance.â
With that, heâs out the door, and youâre left with the remnants of desire that only seem to snap you out of your daze.
Youâre following Jimin soon enough, clearing your throat to tell Taehyung that youâd head out first, eyes avoiding his.
Taehyung still seats on the sofa, cock hard and he hates to say that the feeling is all too familiar.
188 notes
¡
View notes
Writers suffer from tinker bell brain they need constant applause or they start believing everything theyâve written is horseshit
18K notes
¡
View notes
Hello.
This is BIGHIT MUSIC.
We are pleased to announce the release of âRight Place, Wrong Person,â BTS member RMâs second solo album.
âRight Place, Wrong Personâ is an 11-track album that captures some of the universal emotions that we all experience at some point in life, such as the feeling of being an outsider who doesnât fit in.
The album falls within the alternative genre, boasting a rich sound coupled with frank, honest lyrics. Your anticipation and support for RM and his second solo album âRight Place, Wrong Personâ would be much appreciated
Thank you.
*Pre-Order Date: From 11 AM, Friday, April 26, 2024 (KST) onward
*Release Date: 1 PM, Friday, May 24, 2024 (KST)
648 notes
¡
View notes
Kinda late to the partyâ but holy fuck this is insanely good and so funny đĽľđ
dick on the go (m)
â Pairing: Â Taehyung x ReaderÂ
â Genre: Smut, Fluff, CrackÂ
â Summary:Â It was all shits and giggles when you and Taehyung were desperate seniors in High School, having no idea what to do with your lives, wondering if youâd ever find a decent job or even graduate in the first place. It is not so funny anymore when you come home from the big city to enjoy your vacation time and you find his sex-shop right in front of the house you grew up in when you were a kid.
âIf nothing works out Iâm just gonna open a sex shop and call it something obnoxious like âDick on the Goâ or something with a stupid zucchini logo flashing on top of the building.â He had said one time. Shit, you had no idea he actually meant it.
â Word Count: 20.752 words
â WARNINGS:Â graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, cuss words, masturbation, oral (giving/receiving), rough sex, daddy kink, use of several toys, hair pulling, a drop of orgasm denial, unprotected sex, very subtle degradation.
You take a deep breath, your gaze fixed on the familiar scenery outside the trainâs window, and it almost feels like your insides are unclenching and relishing in the feeling of being free after so many months lived squished together.
You have made this journey back and forth hundred times in the past five years or so and you know every inch of the road by memory but it doesnât hinder its healing effects on both your body and mind.
The ride is a couple of hours long but you do enjoy every last bit of it, at least when itâs bringing you back home.
Your home is more than just a place with four walls and a roof on top, no, home is your roots an, ultimately, that inner part of you, the true self you are forced to hide under fake masks to survive in the city.
Keep reading
4K notes
¡
View notes
What the fuck did I read??? 𼾠No, no, noâ itâs not bad, itâs the darn opposite! I mean, it is so freaking filthy and all the dirty talk and terrible puns about cowboys, farming, gosh, everything, itâs so fucking hilarious!!!!!Â
Seriously, such a funny crack fic, I loved it đđ
milkin days | jjk
âThere is a stallion that needs to be tamed,â he drawled, sauntering up to her. âAnd only a lass and her strong milking hands can tame it.âÂ
pairing: cowboy stripper!jungkook x fem!OC
summary: When the charming but mysterious cowboy Jungkook approaches you, you are positively smitten, drawn to him like a horse to a fresh bucket of feed. Little did you know, however, what dark secret he kept hidden behind those barn doors.
genre: cowboy au, pure crack, smut
warnings:Â Sexy cowboy slang. Terrible puns. You will be in tears. OC has a name but it is not the name you expect. Dirty talk. There are like 80 different words for grandma. Striptease. You will perhaps think of corn differently after this. Handjob. Surprisingly we were not high while writing this. Jungkook cockadoodle-does you. Unprotected sex. Rough sex. Overstimulation. Creampie. Slight impregnation kink told through farming metaphors. Fertile crops kink. âpatriotismâ.Â
word count: 3.9k
Header by: @kigurumuâ
Authors: Â @wwillowwâ @thatlongspringnightâ @ot7alwaysâ @kinktaeâ @ladyartemesiaâ @yoongs-jeontaeâ @ezralia-writesâ @moonmintrailsâ @jamaiskookâ @krookedkooâ
A/N: A certified Crackhead Collaboration â produced by BTS Smut Hub.Â
@kinktaeâ hates this fic. We would also like to issue the sincerest of apologies to the farming community at large.Â
Keep reading
2K notes
¡
View notes
This part??? Holy fuck 𼾠I am in love with this kind of slowburn loveâ all their lingering feelings finally bursting like a volcano đ Jimin is so hot, like, what? I donât know what more to say, this part was as perfect as the one before!!!!
Seriously. So fucking amazing đŻâ¨
The Ten Days of Ex-Mas (M) (Pt. 2)
Author: kpopfanfictrash
Genre: Â Holiday / Second Chance!AU / Hockey!AU
Pairing: Jimin / Reader (F)
Synopsis: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend youâre still dating â and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.
Word Count: 44,416 (19K in part 2)
Authorâs Note: Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration with @leahsfavefics, @kithtaehyung, @yoonia, @cybrsan, and @sugaurora! Unfortunately, due to the new Tumblr text post limitations, this has to be published as multiple parts. THIS IS NOT THE START OF THE STORY. Please read Part 1 first, here.
Rating:Â 18+
NSFW Warnings:Â oral (F), multiple orgasms (F), fingering, sex in a semi-public area (brief), breast play, spanking, masturbation (M, F), dirty talk, mention of toys
A/N: all collab fics incorporate the phrase, "the holidays aren't so bad with you around."
A/N: This is not part 1. Read part 1 here.
âJimin!â Hana cries, plowing into his legs. âY/N! Weâre skates!â
Lifting your brows, you crouch to boop her red pom-pom hat. âOf course, you are!â you say. When Hana runs off, you stand and lean closer. âDo you think she meant they have skates, or that weâre pretending to be them?â
âGuess weâll find out,â Jimin chuckles, taking your hand to cross the street.
You seem surprised but continue, falling into step alongside him. If pressed, Jimin could say heâs holding your hand because youâre around his family but truthfully, thatâs not why. Heâs holding your hand because he hasnât touched you for twelve hours, crumbling something vital deep in his chest.
Jiminâs mom waves you over to where theyâve occupied several benches. âWelcome,â she says, gesturing to the group. âThe girls picked out skates for everyone â correct sizes, of course.â
Stifling a laugh, Jimin looks at the skates. Of course, the twins picked them out since theyâve chosen only the most ridiculous concepts. Each year, a main Garland attraction is the infamous holiday ice skates. Imagine a Christmas staple, and thereâs an ice skate for it. Snowmen skates wait for Jimin, complete with tiny carrot noses.
âHow did you know my favorites,â you gasp, bending to reach for your candy cane skates.
âCuz weâre smart!â Ari yells, wriggling free of Hoseokâs arms.
Jisoo grabs her by the waist, picking her up to sit down on a bench. Jimin takes you by the hand again, leading you to a semi-secluded bench. Glancing over your shoulder, you watch as he drags you away from his family.
âSit,â Jimin demands, and your eyes widen.
Somewhat flustered, you obey. âJimin,â you hiss when he kneels before you. âNo one is watching us. You donât have toâŚâ
He lifts a brow. âI donât have to do anything, Y/N.â
You fall silent when he begins unlacing your boots, setting them aside on the cold ground. Jimin doesnât miss the way you shiver when his hand curls around your ankle, nor the look on your face when he scoots even closer.
âJiminâŚâ
Flashing a wicked smile, he looks up. âYes?â
A lump moves in your throat when you swallow. âNothing.â
âNothing?â Brows lifted, Jimin leans forward, pressing his shoulder against your inner knee. He begins tying the laces, taking his time to savor the closeness. By the time heâs finished, youâre glowering darkly.
âUp,â you demand, switching places.
Jimin shouldnât be turned on by how easily you walk in skates, nor by the bossy edge to your voice as you kneel.
âIs this what you wanted?â you ask, your gaze burning. Placing both hands on his knees, you lean forward. âTo tease me?â
âTease you?â Jimin looks you up and down. âRight now, I feel like the victim here.â
Pushing yourself to stand, you nudge him with your foot. âYou can put on your own skates, Park. Last I checked, you got paid to do this for a living.â
âUsually, they pay me to play in the skates. Not just look pretty.â
Your lips tilt. âAre you calling yourself pretty?â
Wordless, Jimin tosses his hair as he stands from the bench. Eyes wide, you realize your gaze drops to his skates, already tied. Leaning in, Jimin brushes your arm with his palm.
âThat depends,â he says lowly. âWhat do you think?â
Your gaze focuses on him. âYour looks havenât changed that much since September, Park.â
His eyes darken. âStop calling me that.â
âWhat â Park?â
Brows lowered, Jimin steps closer. âYou sound like youâre about to scold me.â
You snort. âScold you? Who do you think I am?â
âStop changing the subject.â
âWhat even is the subject?â
âWhat about my looks has changed since September?â
You pause to survey him. âYou⌠well. Your hair,â you admit.
Uncertain, Jimin reaches up to touch it. âMy hair?â
âYeah.â You nod, transfixed by his fingers. âItâs longer. Itââ Cutting yourself off, your lips press together. âIt looks nice, thatâs all.â
Jimin hovers a second, wishing youâd continue but the moment is interrupted by your names being called. Turning his head, he spots Jisoo and Hoseok stepping onto the ice. Hoseok has both of Ariâs hands, while Jisoo has Hana.
Heart dropping, Jimin pieces two and two together. When you arrived on Thursday, the oddest expression crossed over your face at the twins. And later, while making cookies, you often were silent. Jimin chalked this up to the strangeness of your arrangement, but only now realizes the full implication. Ari and Hana must remind you of the false pregnancy, and the events which came after.
On instinct, Jimin takes your hand again. You glance down, surprised, but Jimin is already walking, pulling you with.
Although you stumble a little, you follow. âHow do you walk in these things every day?â you demand, gesturing vaguely.
âWe usually wear them on ice, not the sidewalk.â
âHilarious.â
Arriving at the rink, Jimin removes his skate guards and holds out a hand. Handing them off to his mom, Jimin opens the gate to step onto the ice.
For a moment, the world fades. This is the reason he plummeted when he wasnât sure if he could skate again. This feeling, this rush of freedom â Jimin has felt it on the ice ever since he can remember. Your hand is grounding, keeping him steady through the inner turmoil. Taking a deep breath, Jimin pushes off on one skate to bring you with.
Across the rink, Hoseok and Jisoo lead their daughters around. Seeing them, Jimin canât help but smile. Jisoo was raised on the rink and can skate circles around most of their friend group.
âTheyâre so cute,â you sigh, following his gaze.
âWho? Jisoo and Hoseok?â
âI mean, sure,â you laugh, eyes crinkling. âBut I was talking about Hana and Ari. No matter what your dad says, Hana is definitely going pro.â
Jimin sees a moment of realization cross your face. A few months ago, the idea of his dad disapproving would have crippled him. Now, Jimin feels sad, but he knows heâll get through it.
Tightening his grip, he moves closer. âWant to know a secret?â Jimin says, skating backwards to face you. Both your hands end in his, letting him pull you.
âObviously.â
Jimin grins, spinning you in a circle. âI got her lessons for Christmas with my old teacher. Just for fun, but I think sheâll enjoy it.â
âShe absolutely will,â you say, smiling so wide, Jiminâs heart hurts. âSpeaking ofâŚâ
Turning his head, Jimin spots Hoseok skate past with Ari. They wave as they go, Ariâs scarf flapping in the wind.
âSo slow!â Hoseok calls, as Ari laughs. âSeems like that NHL thing really was a fluke, ParkâŚâ
Jiminâs brows lower, enough that you laugh and let go of his hand. âGo on,â you tease, skating backwards. âCatch up to them.â
His gaze lingers on you as you leave, watching you glide across the rink with ease. Turning around, you weave between patrons as the ends of your scarf flutter behind you. Jimin remembers the first time he brought you home for the holidays. Until then, youâd given him nothing but a hard time with his hockey fame. Pretending not to know the rules, the players or even the sport â although he often caught you Googling what certain terms meant.
The first time you came home, Jiminâs parents were the ones who suggested ice skating. Jimin was hesitant, thinking you didnât know how, but once you stepped onto the rink, his jaw dropped. Although you arenât a professional, you took lessons as a kid and somehow maintained your graceful ease. Somewhat embarrassingly, that was the morning he caved and broke his no-sex-in-the-childhood-home rule.
Body tightening, Jimin locks in on you as you skate away. Similar to seeing you wearing a new cosplay, watching you skate circles is enough to draw blood to a very specific part of his body. Pushing off with one foot, Jimin starts slowly around the edge of the rink. Several heads turn, but he ignores them entirely. Glancing over your shoulder, you notice him watching and laugh, purposefully crouching to gain momentum.
Lips twitching, Jimin adopts a similar stance and goes faster. He barely outpaces his slowest round at practice, but thatâs fine. To everyone else, Jimin is practically flying. As one of the shortest players in the NHL, Jimin makes up for what he lacks in stride with his speed. Offensive positions require agility, something which happens to be his main strength. Wind cuts his face as Jimin makes a turn that would send lesser skaters sprawling.
Leisurely, he approaches you from the opposite side. Glancing over your shoulder, you frown, losing visibility.
âGotcha,â Jimin says, grabbing around your waist to speak in your ear.
You yelp, twisting around to avoid tangling skates. âNo fair,â you laugh, still in his arms. âYouâre a professional. You cheated!â
âWhich one is it, princess?â he teases, prompting a startled breath.
Licking your lower lip, you glance sideways and Jimin feels his body lock. Continuing to skate with his arms wrapped around you, he can barely decipher his train of thought. You face forward quickly, but not fast enough â Jimin knows that look. Your pupils are dilated, eyes wide with lips slightly parted. That look connects with his lower half in a way that makes skating distinctly uncomfortable.
âYou canât call me that,â you say under your breath.
Despite this, your hand tightens in his, not letting him go.
Jimin leans closer. âCall you what?â
âAny name other than the one chosen at birth.â
âOh, I see. So, if I say Y/N.â Jimin dips his tone. âThatâs fine?â
He feels your shiver, sliding his thumb along the side of your palm, andâ
âY/N!â
You start, jerking upright when Hana skates by holding onto Jisoo. Jimin falls behind you, somewhat embarrassed he let things go so far. As much as he wants to call you princess and get you to admit that you want him â he wants more than simply desire. Something like that happening would only muddy the waters.
Ari skates past as well, begging you to join, which you do with a dutiful nod. Jimin watches you go, skating to the edge of the rink and stepping outside. Pulling on guards, he clomps towards the hot chocolate stand to buy you a cup. While he waits, a familiar hat sidles up alongside him.
âHi, mom,â he says, smiling downward.
Jiminâs mom wraps an arm around his waist and squeezes. A lump forms in Jiminâs throat, one he manages to swallow. The past year has been hard, forcing tough conversations to be held over the phone. Worse than losing his health, Jimin felt that he lost the support of his family.
âYou two looked good out there,â his mom says, moving up in line.
Jimin lifts a brow. His mom never says something she doesnât mean â a fact that he envies. Bringing your relationship up means she has something to say.
âThanks,â he says, waiting for the rest.
âI hope we didnât make you or Y/N uncomfortable last night. You know the last thing your father and I want is to pressure you.â
Shaking his head, Jimin moves forward. âYou didnât â donât worry.â
âMm.â Her lips thin. âWhat were you doing, going out late with Hoseok?â
Jiminâs eyes widen. Shit. Exactly like his mom, to lead with something soft, then go for the kill. A hockey strategy Jimin has employed often, with great success.
âWe⌠I, uhâŚâ
His mom pats him on the arm. âEvery couple has their difficulties, Jimin. Iâm not going to pretend every obstacle is surmountable â only you can decide that â but running away will solve nothing.â
Stunned by her accuracy, Jimin shakes his head. âI thought she wanted space,â he admits. This much, at least, is true.
âSpace is good,â she agrees. âBut only when asked for.â
The couple before them in line finishes paying and leaves. Somewhat dazed, Jimin moves up and orders three hot chocolates. Stepping aside to wait, Jimin turns to face his mom.
âThatâs good advice,â he says slowly.
âI know.â She smiles. âThat wasnât what I wanted to talk about, though.â
Jimin lifts a brow. âNo? Couldâve fooled me.â
She laughs. âNo,â she admits, linking arms. âI wanted to check in on you, dear. Youâve seemed a little⌠well, off lately. Itâs been a while since we last talked.â
Jimin can hear her concern, the utmost care sheâs taking in having this conversation. His heart aches, knowing she must have rehearsed this talk often. Truthfully, Jimin didnât mean to pull away from his family. It became almost second nature to avoid having an argument.
âWell,â Jimin says. âThis season has been tough. I wasnât sure how itâd be⌠being back on the ice. And I didnât think you or dad would want to hear about that.â
Gripping his elbow, his mom turns him to face her. Her gaze has turned serious, an indent between her brows. âJimin. I always want to hear about your day. Okay?â
He blinks several times.
âIâm sorry,â she exhales. âI know I wasnât⌠I was scared, seeing you so badly injured last year.â
Jimin presses his lips together. âI know.â
âBut,â she adds, fierce light to her gaze. âThatâs not an excuse for making you feel this way. Your career will always scare us, Jimin.â She holds up a hand at the look on his face. âNo, I want to be truthful. Your career will always scare us, but darling, Iâve watched you skate since you were three years old. I see your face on the ice. Iâm sorry for asking you to give that up. It was selfish.â
Something rent apart mends in his chest. Before Jimin can respond, three hot chocolates are placed on the counter. Smiling, his mom accepts one and hands him the rest.
âDonât feel like you have to say anything back,â she chides, guiding him towards the rink. âI only wanted to make sure you knew.â
âNo â no.â Jimin shakes his head. âIâm trying more often to express how I feel. Mom⌠the way you and dad acted hurt me. For a while, it felt like everyone in the world was against me, and I didnât know how to convince them. Or myself.â
His mom blinks several times. âI understand that,â she says quietly. âAnd Iâm sorry, dear. Iâm here for you, whatever you decide â I promise.â
âAnd dad?â
Lips twisting, she glances across the rink, where his dad sits on a bench. Not skating, simply watching Hana and Ari be towed around. Seeing this, Jimin understands what she means. His dad still has a long way to go.
âItâs okay, mom,â he murmurs.
She frowns. âNo, itâs not. But heâll come around, Jimin â I know it.â
âYeah.â Releasing his breath, Jimin looks across the rink and catches your eye.
You grin widely, hand in hand with Ari as Jimin smiles. Something Dr. Nygard once said comes to mind. He told Jimin it was normal to want the attention of others, but it wasnât healthy to shape oneâs entire reality from it. For a long time, Jimin only believed he was good if other people said so. Only thought he could want something when other people agreed.
The moment you asked if you could take a break, all Jimin heard was you didnât want him. Rather than stay and fight for what he believed in, he left and now, itâs up to him to convince you things are different. Being without you cast things in perspective. No â Jimin doesnât need your approval to live the life he wants.
But the life he wants to live has you in it.
âI canât believe you didnât bring pain meds this weekend,â you huff, digging around in the endless void you call a purse.
Sheepish, Jimin shrugs. âMy tailbone felt better. And then, I donât know⌠sitting for hours on a flight didnât help.â
Stunned, you glance upward. âYouâve been hurt since the flight, Jimin?â you ask, failing to keep your anger in check. âWhy are you only telling me now?â
Amused, he crosses both arms. âY/N,â Jimin tsks. âIf I didnât know any better, Iâd think that you cared.â
Simultaneously annoyed and aroused, your gaze darts towards your purse. Yanking free a bottle of ibuprofen, you shake out two pills. âHere,â you insist, thrusting them forward. âTake these and be quiet.â
Partly, your dismay stems from this being your fault. Jimin mentioned he was injured outside the house, but you were too mad to hear and made him sleep on the couch. And now, youâll be the reason for Chicagoâs losing streak. You can already hear the disparaging Twitter comments.
âBe quiet.â Jimin accepts the pills to throw them back, dry. âThanks, Y/N.â
You stare, horrified. âThatâs disgusting.â
âYou get used to it.â
âNope,â you say as you turn away. âI donât think I would.â
Jimin chuckles from behind, catching up when you push open the door to the shop. Once everyone had their fill of ice-skating, you went with Jiminâs family to a lovely place for lunch. Afterwards, everyone broke into pairs for late Christmas shopping. It seems everyone is missing one gift or another, resulting in a need for covert alliances. Jisoo went off with her mom, while Hoseok went off with their dad and the twins.
The fact that you ended up alone with Jimin hasnât escaped you. Briefly, you wondered if Jiminâs mom was behind this to give you some privacy but banished the notion. If this were the case, she likely would have just said so. The thought makes your face heat as you enter the shop.
Things today have been⌠different when it comes to Jimin. First, there was his apology in the car and then, the whole skate-tying incident. Merely the memory makes you shiver, recalling the feel of his hand on your ankle. Not to mention his cryptic phrasing, insisting he should have stayed â last night. Or possibly more.
Frustrated, you glance around the stationary shop. For once, you wish Jimin would just say what he means. Then again, you suppose two can play at that game. You werenât exactly honest when you asked for a break.
Covertly, you glance sideways and find Jiminâs cheeks reddened. Infuriatingly, he looks even better than the day before. Darkly, you wonder if he sold his soul to a witch or is involved in some sort of Dorian Gray situation.
Turning around, Jimin catches you staring. âWhat are you thinking?â he asks, moving closer.
Rather than fan his ego, you ask something thatâs been bothering you the past hour. âI saw you talking to your mom at the hot chocolate stand. What was that about?â
Jimin stiffens slightly, and you stifle a sigh.
Six months prior, Jimin would have brushed aside the question. In the spring, when his arguments with his dad were at their worst, you tried to distract him, but nothing succeeded. Jimin didnât want to talk about anything, but in every conversation, his mind was elsewhere. You shouldnât be surprised this is still true but somehow, you hoped.
âHockey,â Jimin answers, and your face jerks up. âMy mom said she was always going to worry about me playing, but she apologized for asking me to give it up. I thinkâŚâ He pauses. âShe may have been giving me her blessing to re-sign? Not that I need it,â he adds, a bit thoughtful.
âJimin,â you gasp. âThatâs amazing!â
âI know, right?â He smiles. âThereâs still my dad, but it means so much to me that she said that. And⌠I mean, I canât wait around for them to approve of everything, can I? I need to do whatâs best for myself.â
Slowly, you nod. âYou do.â
He meets your gaze. âI wanted to thank you, actually.â
âThank me?â
âYeah. You told me that, and I didnât agree. I just⌠I wasnât ready to hear it. In a way, when you left, it forced me to examine some hard truths about myself.â
Again, your heart sinks. Youâre glad Jimin has his therapist and theyâre helping to change his outlook. On the other hand, it sounds as though your leaving was an uptick in his life.
âAh,â you say faintly. âI see.â
Jimin cocks his head. âWhen you said you wanted a break, all I heard was that the last person to believe in me no longer did. I know thatâs not fair,â he adds, seeing your face. âBut thatâs how I felt. It was easier to fall, to hit rock bottom⌠than to pull myself out.â
You consider this â and him â for a long moment. In September, you really werenât in a position to listen. The rapid elation and depression of thinking you were pregnant, coupled with fear from a year of anxiety, resulted in a potentially harmful reaction. Jimin deserved more than what you gave.
âI shouldnât have come to you like that,â you say quietly. âIt wasnât fair of me to just⌠spring that on you without explanation. I should have asked you to talk. Iâm sorry.â
âI donât blame you, thinking I wouldnât listen.â
âMaybe,â you say. âIf I could go back though, Iâd do things differently.â
âMe, too.â
For a while, you stand there and let the words sink in. Frequently since the break-up, you imagined what it would be like to see Jimin again. You wondered if heâd be angry, whether heâd ignore you or cast blame for what happened. Rarely did you imagine heâd apologize, or that heâd taken steps to address what happened this fall.
And maybe that was another mistake you both made â assuming the other person couldnât change or wouldnât want to.
Then, another thought occurs that makes your heart sink. Jiminâs mom is fine with him extending his contract. The entire reason you came here was to lessen the difficulty of two pieces of bad news at once. With one in the open, itâs not necessary to continue the charade.
For a moment, you debate whether to say something and instead, you turn smoothly and pluck a card from the pile.
âLook at this one,â you say, holding it up to the light. âDo you think Ari would like it?â
Glancing at this, Jimin tilts his head. The card is covered in glitter, to the point where the pictures and words are rendered obsolete.
âI think itâs perfect,â he says with a laugh. âLook, thereâs another glitter one for Hana.â
Selecting them both, you head for the cashier. Jimin diverts to check out a large stack of board games in the back for his uncle.
âYou check out,â he says, waving you onward. âIâll meet you at the register in a minute.â
âAll right,â you say, turning away.
Bypassing the colorful pens near the register, you place both cards on the counter. âCan I have a bag?â you ask as they ring you up.
The cashier nods, setting to work and you drum your finger against the counter. Outside, itâs started snowing. You canât help but smile since it never seems to stop snowing in Garland for long. Hopefully, everything will clear up for tomorrowâs Christmas Eve party. Jiminâs family never misses, barring illness or high water.
Behind you, the bells above the door chime.
âY/N?â A familiar â deeply grating â makes you go stiff. âIs that you? Oh my gosh!â
Smile frozen, you slowly turn. Vivian Wu shuts the door with one hand, casually unwinding a red scarf from her neck. Her hair is luscious and sleek, billowing over her perfect pea coat. When she walks towards the register, you notice cashmere gloves and boots that seem untouched by the salt on the roads.
Continuing to force a smile, you nod. âHi, Vivian,â you say. âYep, itâs me. Y/N.â
Coming to a stop, Vivian tilts her head. As the daughter of the former mayor and a politician herself, sheâs practically royalty in a small town like Garland. Vivian also happens to be Jiminâs ex-girlfriend, dating him for three years in high school before they broke up when he was drafted. A fact Vivian never really accepted.
Her smile turns simpering. âHow nice to see you,â she says, her tone suggesting the opposite. âAre you visiting the Parks for the holidays?â
You nod, suddenly glad for the charade. âJimin and I are only here for a few days, unfortunately. Are you attending the Christmas Eve party tomorrow?â
âWouldnât miss it. The Parks are such a wonderful family. Itâs a shame you only get to see them once a year.â
Although your stomach twists, you remind yourself itâs not worth it. Vivian only acts this way because sheâs not dating Jimin â but then again, neither are you. Your heart sinks, realizing you might be looking at your future. Vivian will be thrilled to discover youâre no longer together. You never learned why she disliked you, only that sheâs the only other girl Jimin dated seriously.
Your very first visit, you were introduced to her at the Christmas Eve party. Jimin warned you his ex-girlfriend would be there but failed to mention how beautiful â and vindictive â she was. Apparently, the break-up was Jiminâs idea and Vivian loathed having a total loss of control.
That night ended in a harried fight between you and Jimin, becoming the first time he ever said he loved you. Remembering that night, you canât help but smile â a gesture that widens when Vivian scowls.
âItâs a shame,â you sigh. âIâm sure they appreciate having you looking out for them, though.â
Vivian sniffs, unable to find the insult. âOf course. Anything for Jimin. Speaking ofâ â she leans in, her Chanel perfume tickling your nose â âIâve been watching his games and havenât seen you lately? Is everything okay?â
You instantly stiffen. Despite what you told Jimin, you genuinely hadnât thought many people would notice. Of course, Vivian did.
âNo,â you say sweetly. âJust busy with work.â
âThatâs a shame,â she says, her voice implying that, if it were her, Vivian would make herself available, no matter the cost.
You canât help but bristle, though the scenario is moot. Neither of you are dating Jimin, so thereâs nothing to compare. Still, even when you were together, Jimin never expected you to attend every game. That was his job, not yours, he would joke all the time. Both of you were adults with careers.
Tossing her hair, Vivian nods at your hand. âAnd Iâm surprised, Y/N â no ring? Jisoo and Hoseok got engaged after what, two years? And youâve been dating Jimin forâŚ?â
âFour years,â you say stiffly.
âThatâs right.â Her frown deepens. âFour.â
Your tongue is in danger of bleeding from how hard you bite. Vivianâs words have little to do with you, and more to do with the circumstances, but you canât help but feel frustrated. And hurt.
Smoothly, an arm slides around your waist. âThere you are,â murmurs Jimin, pulling you close. He brushes a kiss to your hair, glancing at Vivian. âYou can blame that on me, Viv,â he says easily. âHavenât found the perfect ring yet. None big enough. Or expensive enough.â
Your lips twitch. âExactly,â you sigh, laying a hand on his chest. âHe keeps proposing and I keep saying, ânope, try again.ââ
Jimin chuckles, nuzzling into your hair. Vivian glances between you, looking vaguely nauseated. You canât say you blame her.
âHow nice,â she mutters.
âAnyways.â Glancing around, Jimin grabs your bag from the counter. âWe really should get going. It was nice seeing you, Vivian.â
âYou, too,â she huffs, brushing past to the board games.
As soon as sheâs gone, your smile drops. âThanks,â you exhale, slipping out from his arm. âI⌠well, I wasnât sure what to say to her.â
Jimin catches you around the wrist.
You hesitate a long moment, then turn. Two days ago, the rules of the game were clear. No kissing with tongue. Jimin sleeps on the couch. And no need to pretend when no one else is around.
Gaze drifting upwards, you find yourself unable to decipher his expression. Slowly, Jimin pulls you closer to casually fix the scarf around your neck.
âLetâs head home, okay?â he murmurs.
You nod, not trusting yourself to respond to him with words. Outside, on the street, Jimin comes to a stop. Exhaling briskly, he turns sideways to face you.
âI justâŚâ
Dropping your wrist, Jimin shoves a hand through his hair.
âJimin, itâs okay,â you say, stepping closer. âI donât blame how she acted â really. Being on the other side, like thisâŚâ Lamely, you shrug. âI guess I understand how Vivian feels. Thatâs all.â
Jimin stares at you, wide-eyed. You think that must be it, and attempt to walk past, but he grabs your wrist again.
âY/N,â he says sternly. âYou are nothing like Vivian. Okay?â
You blink, glancing down at his hand. Thatâs twice in two minutes heâs touched you like this. Gaze snapping upward, you frown.
âAm I?â you demand. Stepping closer, you stand nearly nose-to-nose. âWeâre both your exes, Jimin. I canât imagine how much it would hurt to watch you parade someone else around town. God, just thinking about you with someone else drives me crazy. Iâd be an asshole to future me, too.â
Dipping his head, Jimin inhales. âThatâs not going to happen,â he murmurs into your ear. âI wouldnât be worried about that, if I were you.â
âWhat does that ââ
âY/N! JIMIN!â
Adorable interruptions seem to be your curse this weekend. Tiny arms crush your knees as, looking down, you find Hana grinning.
Bending, you scoop her onto one hip. âWhatâs this?â you gasp when she hands you a bag. âDid you buy me a Christmas present all by yourself?â
âMhm,â she says proudly. âWe got you new gloves to wear when you watch Uncle Jimin play.â
Hoseok groans as he arrives. âGirls, that was supposed to be a secret. Remember? Y/N was going to unwrap the gloves on Christmas.â
Ari frowns, tugging on Hoseokâs coat. âBut then the present would tell her, not us.â
You canât help but laugh as Jisoo and her mom walk up behind you.
âWhatâd we miss?â Jisoo asks, taking Hana.
âHoseok was explaining the concept of presents,â says Jimin.
âOh, good. Any success?â
âNo,â Hoseok grumbles.
Everyone laughs, and Jiminâs dad flips his keys. âAre we all set?â he asks. âI thought Iâd make hot chocolate back at the house.â
âYeahhh!â yell the twins, immediately taking off.
Snow starts to fall as you leave the town square. More holiday music plays on the drive, and you find yourself dutifully humming along. Despite what you said, there are several noticeable differences between you and Vivian. You might both be his exes, but Jimin only asked one of you home for Christmas.
And only one of you has the opportunity now to make things right.
By Saturday evening, Jimin regrets asking Hoseok for help. He might mean well, but Jiminâs brother-in-law is the least covert person on the face of the planet. Indeed, heâs done more to detract from Jiminâs goal than to add to it. All day, heâs tried to create alone time for you and Jimin with mixed results.
At dinner, Hoseok leaves a chair open next to Jimin â only for Ari to claim it. Afterwards, the family gathers to watch a movie and once again, Hoseok tries to set him up on the sofa. Unfortunately, Hoseok miscounts, and Jisoo is forced to squish between Jimin and the armrest. Little romance can happen sandwiched between you and his sister.
Thatâs not to say no romance, though. Ever since the stationary store, you seem to have forgotten your rule about physical contact. While watching the Grinch, you curl into Jiminâs side, holding his hand under a mountain of blankets. Jimin strokes his thumb over the back of your hand, trying and failing not to let his mind wander.
He canât stop thinking about you and Vivian, knowing the situation is his doing. When he broke up with Vivian, he did it over the phone and barely gave her answers to the questions she posed. He didnât know how to admit that he wasnât in love, so instead, he made excuses about distance and hockey. Itâs no wonder Vivian hovers now, waiting for you to make any misstep.
The thought of you returning to an ex is enough to make Jimin go wild. His arm tenses on the sofa, despite knowing thereâs no reason for him to be mad. Still, itâs all he can think about when the movie ends and you get ready for bed. Bringing his stuff down the hall, Jimin lets you use the bathroom within his room.
The door remains shut when he returns, so Jimin busies himself with making the couch comfortable. Heâs debating adding a third pillow when the bathroom door opens, and you step outside.
Jimin nearly drops the holiday pillow he holds. Honestly, he should receive awards for his self-control this weekend. Once again, youâve decided to clothe yourself â or not clothe yourself â in the skimpiest nightgown known to man. Pink lace skims your generous curves, something you seem oblivious of while crossing the room.
Jiminâs jaw clenches. âWhat time do you want to wake up tomorrow?â
Gaze skipping past him, you land on the sofa. âYouâre not seriously planning on sleeping there?â you demand, folding your arms over your chest.
He forces himself not to stare at your delicious cleavage. âThis feels like a trick question.â
âJimin!â You throw up both hands. âYouâre injured! I feel bad enough you had to take painkillers this morning.â
âOh. Well, donât feel bad,â Jimin says, bending for the pillow.
âJimin!â
âWhat?â He half-laughs as he straightens. âThereâs only one bed in this room, and my parents would know if you slept anywhere else. This is fine, Y/N.â
Chewing your lower lip, you glance down. âUnlessâŚâ
He waits. âAre you offering to sleep on the couch?â
Your gaze snaps upward. âNo.â
A tinge of awareness spreads down his spine as Jimin slowly glances between you and the bed. âAre youâŚâ Jimin hesitates, not wanting to break the fragile truce between you. âAre you offering to break rule number one?â
âTechnically, you were the one who offered to sleep on the couch,â you point out. âAll I said was we didnât have to pretend while we were alone.â
âY/N.â
âAlright, fine!â you huff. âI donât want to sleep in the same bed. But Iâm⌠retracting that rule, for the good of humanity. Only the bed part,â you warn, shifting your weight.
Seeing you slightly flustered wakes a sleeping beast in his chest. Jimin takes a step closer, realizing youâre not immune to his proximity.
âAre you sure?â he asks, coming to a stop. âI donât want to take advantage of the situation. I can sleep on the couch, Y/N, and be fine. I promise.â
âOh?â you scoff, turning around. âAnd have me be blamed for injuring the âbest offensive player in the NHL?â No thanks.â
Jimin stares at your retreating backside. âY/N Y/L/N,â he says, slowly following you towards the bed. âHave you been watching my games on TV?â
Your fingers freeze on the comforter. âI⌠Iâve seen a few,â you say, evasive as you pull back the sheets. Slipping beneath the covers, you pointedly avoid eye contact.
Unable to contain his grin, Jimin folds his arms. He doesnât miss the way your gaze darts towards his biceps, lingering longer than is strictly necessary.
âHow many?â Jimin demands, moving closer.
Gaze snapping upward, you scowl. âEnough to know youâre doing disgustingly well. And that every person with half a brain has a poster telling you so on the other side of the glass.â
Coming to a stop, his brows sketch upwards. âYouâve seen the posters?â
Jimin has seen the posters but then again, heâs the one stepping onto the ice every night. Some of the content has been downright suggestive, which it seems you know from your perturbed expression. Jimin knows it isnât healthy to savor your jealousy â on the other hand, heâll take anything he can get when it comes to you. Jealousy implies thereâs something to be jealous of.
âTheyâre creative,â you mutter. âIâll give them that.â
Jiminâs grin widens. Crossing to the opposite side, he pulls back the covers. âIâve kept track of you, too,â he admits as he joins you.
Startled, you turn over to face him. âYou did?â
âYeah.â Turning off the light, Jimin rolls sideways. âI liked your last outfit. Sundry Sydney?â he says with a snort. âThe sticker was brilliant.â
âSome people thought it wasnât slutty enough.â
âSundry Sydney is more than a pleasure bot,â Jimin says, quoting you word for word. âShe can do everything â or anything, as she later revises.â
You laugh, delighted. âYou remember.â
âOf course.â Jimin softens. âI remember everything when it comes to you.â
In the moonlight, he watches your features change. Hesitance follows want in a way that makes his heart ache. Jimin did that. He put this space between you and, almost unthinking, he shifts closer.
âSorry,â Jimin murmurs when his knee brushes your shin.
You blink. âItâs okay.â
Jimin is aware of each time you inhale, the rise and fall of your chest. The last time he slept next to you, he took it for granted. Now, he memorizes every single detail â your lashes on your cheeks, the weight of your body, the scent of your conditioner from across the pillow. If this is the last night Jimin can lie with you, he wants to remember.
Slowly, the sound of your breathing lulls his eyes shut.
Then next time they open, Jimin only feels heat. Warm, silken heat as he opens one eye and is immediately accosted by the sight of your bare shoulder. Stiffening, Jimin realizes his arm is draped over the curve of your waist. Your face nestles in his chest, fingers curled neatly into the fabric of his t-shirt.
Worse, your nightgown has ridden upward during the night, and Jimin can feel your bare thigh pressed to his. Exhaling softly, he tries to pull back. Under no circumstances can you wake and find him draped over you like the worst kind of leech. You let him sleep in the bed, not sleep with you, which is a crucial difference.
Unfortunately, his attempt at removing his arm only succeeds in rolling you closer. Jimin pauses, reevaluating as your curves press to his. When a mumbled sigh leaves your lips, he nearly gives up.
Thereâs only so much a person can be expected to ignore. Pressed to your soft skin, memories of past mornings come pouring back. If you were dating, Jimin would be figuring out ways to wake you up with his tongue. As it is, all he can do is close his eyes and pray for his hard-on to die.
âJimin,â you mumble, pressing closer.
His eyes open. The movement brings your thighs flush together, and thereâs no mistaking now, that was his name on your lips. Staring downward, Jimin wonders what youâre dreaming of, and whether or not heâs made an appearance.
Mumbling something, your eyes open. When your gazes connect, Jimin expects you to recoil, waits for the moment you realize where you are and withdraw.
Instead, you blink in a sleepy haze. Tentative, you move your hand higher and â Jimin holds his breath â lightly stroke your thumb down the center of his chest. Jimin hardly dares move as your gaze drops to his lips. Slowly â so, so slowly â you shift your hips forward and part your thighs.
Exhaling roughly, Jiminâs fingers find your thigh to drag over his waist. His hard cock fits snugly against your warm core.
âOh,â you whimper.
Losing all sense of composure, Jimin tightens his grip and rolls his hips against you.
âOh,â you moan, your head tipping back.
Dipping his chin, Jimin drags his nose up the heat of your throat. Open-mouthed, he ghosts over the place where your neck meets your collarbone. Panting, you roll your hips as his grip on you tightens. Each line of your body melts against his, driving him crazy.
Moving lower, Jimin brushes the silk hem of your nightgown. Your breath catches when his thumb slips beneath, drawing teasing circles against your inner thigh. One of your hands entwines in his hair, tugging in a way that makes him see red.
âAh, fuck,â Jimin groans. Grasping your ass with both hands, he rolls on his back and brings you with.
Surprised, you land on top of him. âJimin â oh,â you breathe when he thrusts upward, pressing his cock against your underwear.
Gaze somewhat hazy, you push yourself upright. Jimin moans at the sight of your thighs spilled to either side, your delicious breasts barely contained by the silk. Not looking away, keeping your hands on his chest, you slowly begin to move your hips. Jiminâs hands slide up to frame your waist, helping you get yourself off on his cock.
It wonât take long, he realizes with some shock. Whatever dream you had got you halfway, based on the way your thighs tremble above him. Lips parting, you moan his name and rock your hips faster. Gripping you tightly, Jimin thrusts upward. His fingers slip down your thighs, edging towards your center, when â
The doorbell rings downstairs.
Instantly, you freeze, your chest rising and falling. Jimin opens his mouth, but before he can utter a single word, you swing your leg off him.
âI â sorry,â you blurt, scooting to stand. âThat⌠shouldnât have happened.â
Jiminâs mouth shuts. No, probably not, but he also canât bring himself to regret what just happened. Unlike you, it seems.
âIâm⌠just going to change,â you rush, practically fleeing into his bathroom. The door slams shut behind you, leaving Jimin alone in the bed.
Wearily, he collapses. âFuck,â he mutters.
The shower turns on, and his imagination runs wild, replaying the past five minutes. Groaning, Jimin rolls over to stiffly stand. Yanking a sweater and jeans from his closet, he heads for the other bathroom to take care of himself. It barely takes a minute before he comes against the shower wall, chest heaving to stare at the water droplets.
With a clear head, Jimin can feel the full weight of dread in his chest. He moved too fast. Even with you instigating, Jimin shouldnât have pushed things as far as they went. If he knows you at all â and Jimin thinks that he does â youâre probably freaking out in a separate shower. He needs to assure you as soon as possible that he wants this. Well, he wants you. Not just the physical parts.
Exhaling deeply, Jimin finishes showering and turns off the spray. Toweling himself dry, Jimin dresses as fast as he can to head downstairs. Heâs nearly at the kitchen when a hand grasps his elbow, yanking him sideways and shoving him in the front closet.
Stumbling slightly, Jimin turns around and finds himself face-first with Hoseok. Flicking the light switch, Hoseok shuts the door and exhales.
Jimin looks past him. âWhat are you doing?â he asks, faintly alarmed. âIs everything okay?â
Shaking his head, Hoseok folds his arms across his chest. âNo â definitely not. Your dad knows, man.â
âKnows what?â
âHe knows,â Hoseok says with a pointed look. âHe knows youâre planning to extend your hockey contract.â
Jiminâs heart sinks to the floor.
Coming to his senses, he shakes his head. âHow?â Jimin demands. âHow does my dad know?â
âNot sure.â Hoseokâs lips twist. âI think he went into town this morning, and some of his buddies told him. Apparently, news of the extension leaked online.â
Jimin is utterly still, already coming up with choice words for his agent. He knew this could happen, despite his request to keep this quiet. Sometimes teams leak the news to increase the pressure on players. Other times, another team in the league does it to spur a trade. Jimin hoped heâd have until the new year but apparently, the choice has been made for him.
âWell, fuck,â he mutters.
Hoseok just nods. âYeah. I heard your mom and dad talking about it when I came downstairs.â
Jimin pauses, glancing at the door. âHave you just⌠been waiting out in the hall for me?â
âYeah. I kept pretending to forget things in our room. Jisoo may or may not have caught on.â
âGreat.â Jimin decides to push past this. âDid he⌠I mean, how did my dad seem?â
Hoseok frowns. âQuiet. I donât know. He went into his office and didnât come out until your mom started breakfast.â
Shit. Running a hand through his hair, Jimin exhales. âAlright,â he says. âWell, I guess thereâs no point in putting things off.â
âProbably not.â
Nodding, Jimin turns to pull open the door and Hoseokâs hand lands on his shoulder. âYeah?â Jimin asks, turning around.
âJust letting you know that Iâm here for you,â Hoseok says, stepping into the hall. âI may be married to your sister, but that doesnât mean I donât care about you.â
âThanks, Hobi,â Jimin says quietly.
Squaring his shoulders, he follows him down the hall and into the kitchen. All voices cease. His momâs spatula clatters against the bowl, and Jisoo falls silent at the kitchen table. Even you turn to face him, a mug of coffee in hand.
Jimin moves forward. âHey,â he says tentatively. âGood morning.â
âMorning, Jimin!â says his mom, shooting a look at his dad.
Jiminâs dad pushes himself up from the table. âJimin, can we talk?â he asks, gesturing towards the door. Based on his tone, this isnât so much a request as a statement.
Although his stomach twists, Jimin manages a nod. âSure, dad.â
He leaves the room, not looking behind to see if Jimin follows. Taking a deep breath, Jimin follows. When he nears the door, he feels a hand on his elbow. Gripping him tightly, you turn Jimin to face you.
âHey,â you murmur. âWhatever your dad says â Iâm here, okay? I believe in you, Jimin. No matter what.â
Thereâs steel to your voice, making him believe every word. No hint of weirdness from this morning remains, unraveling an unknown knot in his chest.
âThank you,â Jimin rasps, gaining the strength to follow his dad.
The door to his dadâs study is as familiar as Jiminâs childhood, known as the only place off-limits to play in. Entering now, Jimin shuts the door and turns around.
His dad sits on the edge of his desk, hands clasped, and face lined. Jimin steps closer, about to plead his case but his dad holds up a hand.
âI think itâs best if I spoke first,â he says quietly.
Jimin stops, then nods.
Exhaling lowly, his dad drags a hand down his face. For the first time, Jimin notices moisture in the corners of his eyes when he looks up. âI heard this morning your contract is up for extension.â
Jimin decides honesty is best. âIt is, yeah.â
His dad swallows, and then nods. âWhen my friends told me⌠I told them they must be mistaken. I said you wouldâve said if that was true, and then they showed me the articleâŚâ Steadying himself, his dad continues. âI spent a lot of time this morning thinking about this past year.â
âOh?â Jimin finds his voice. âWhat, specifically?â
His dadâs expression shifts. âJimin, Iâm sorry. I never⌠I never wanted to create a relationship where you couldnât tell me things. Of course, I donât want you to get hurt on the iceâ â his voice strengthens â âbut I know you. I know my son, and you donât start things you donât finish. You worked hard this past year to prove everyone wrong â to prove me wrong, and I couldnât be prouder.â
His voice breaks slightly and, hearing this, Jimin rushes forward. Pulling his dad into a tight hug, Jimin lets out a sigh that sounds more like a sob. They stay there like that, their first hug in nearly a year as Jimin slowly exhales.
For so long, heâs wanted to hear those words from his dad. They feel good, but oddly enough, it feels even better to know he didnât need this. Jimin has worked hard this fall to divorce self-approval from others. It will always take effort to maintain, but progress has been made, and that makes Jimin happier than anything else.
Pulling back, Jiminâs dad smiles. âWe can go back now,â he laughs. âI know your mother made waffles. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. And you can talk to me about the contract if you want. Thereâs no need to keep things from us any longer.â
âThanks, dad,â Jimin says.
His dad nods once, pulling open the door to gesture at the hall. As Jimin follows him out, youâre the first person he thinks of. Your face, saying youâd support him no matter what. This morning when you sighed his name into his t-shirt. Jimin recalls all the seconds, minutes, days he wanted you by his side this fall and knows he needs to tell you what he wants.
Even if you break his heart, Jimin needs you to know that itâs yours.
Something has changed since this morning.
Well, obviously something has changed. You woke up with your body flush against Jimin, one of your thighs flung over his delicious ass. You nearly came just from dry humping him, already close from the dirty dream you were having â about Jimin, no less. Something has changed though, and that something is you â because youâre no longer concerned about what might happen. About what hurt might befall you if you confess and it fails.
You want Jimin. You love Jimin, you never stopped, and you need him to know that. You just have to figure out how.
Thatâs proving to be the hard part. Jimin returned with his dad at breakfast, looking relaxed for the first time all trip, and his mom immediately suggested wrapping the gifts. You helped the twins wrap all morning, glitter getting everywhere, and once lunch ended, you needed to get ready for the Christmas Eve party.
Trying to cut down on time, you got ready down the hall â which proved to be a mistake, since it meant you didnât see Jimin until going downstairs. He went all out this year, and part of you wonders if he did it on purpose. His hair has been slicked, styled away from his face in a wholly devastating manner. Heâs wearing a taupe suit he once wore for an interview, a dark turtleneck beneath hugging his pecs in a way thatâs distracting.
You only drove two cars tonight, and somehow you ended up in a van with Jimin and his parents. Not that you mind their company â you love Jiminâs parents, but his outfit is rated NC-17. For twenty minutes, youâre forced to sit next to Jimin and not say how good he looks in that suit.
Even at the party, your attention is immediately monopolized by neighbors and friends. Forcing a smile, you nod at the appropriate times in conversation, but your attention is elsewhere. Itâs not anyoneâs fault, but they just canât compete with your ex-boyfriend. Slash pretend boyfriend. Slash man you want to be your boyfriend.
An hour into the party, you excuse yourself for the bathroom, shutting yourself in a stall to lower the lid and sit down. From there, you pull out your phone and scroll through the texts.
Namjoon: you did WHAT?! [7:14 PM]
Yoongi: they dry humped, Namjoon [7:16 PM]
Namjoon: Yes, I âm aware â my exclamation was one of shock, not confusion [7:17 PM]
Namjoon: what does this mean?? [7:17 PM]
Yoongi: Isnât it obvious? Theyâre getting back together. Why else would she fly halfway across the country for Christmas? [7:18 PM]
Scowling darkly, you text them both back.
Y/N: excuse me, I never said anything about getting back together [7:21 PM]
Namjoon: you didnât need to â Yoongi is right, Y/N [7:21 PM]
Yoongi: per usual [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: you said when you left that you were scared to get hurt because you still had feelings for him [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: well, this is you, having feelings [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: and possibly getting hurt [7:22 PM]
Your scowl only deepens.
Y/N: Iâm not going to get hurt [7:23 PM]
Yoongi: ⌠has he said anything about getting back together? [7:23 PM]
You stare at the screen several moments before you respond.
Y/N: no⌠not exactly [7:24 PM]
Yoongiâs ellipses blink, then disappear and are replaced by Namjoon.
Namjoon: look â no one is saying he wonât ask you, okay? Just⌠maybe you should talk before dry humping him again. Make sure youâre both on the same page about what this all means [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: what Joon said [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: also â where are you? Hasnât Jimin noticed youâre glued to your phone? [7:25 PM]
Y/N: no. Iâm texting you from the bathroom, smartass [7:26 PM]
Namjoon: go back out there and have fun [7:27 PM]
Y/N: consider it done [7:27 PM]
Returning your phone to your purse, you use the bathroom and freshen up. Once you return to the party, you take a deep breath and scan the crowd.
This yearâs Christmas Eve party is at the local ski lodge. The main lobby has been decorated within an inch of its life, the focal point being a gargantuan Christmas tree. Glass windows at the back overlook the ski slopes, butter-yellow light disappearing to shadows.
A waiter walks by with a tray of champagne, and you snag a glass for something to do with your hands.
âY/N!â
A familiar voice calls, but before you can turn, Jungkook wraps you into a hug. Jungkook Jeon is both Jiminâs childhood friend and his NHL faux rival. Being from the same town, the media love to compare them at every turn â something thatâs become a fun rivalry. The last time you hung out, his hair was much longer. Tonight though, heâs wearing all black with a sharp undercut.
âHow have you been?â Jungkook grins, pulling back. Heâs careful not to mess up your hair or dress, for which youâre grateful.
âGood,â you say with a laugh. âWhat about you? I hear the Kraken are leading the division â you must be happy.â
Jungkookâs smile disappears. âNot the conference, though.â
You canât help but laugh, knowing his perfectionism rivals only Jimin. âYouâre too hard on yourself.â
âSomeoneâs got to be. And besides,â he adds, glancing over your shoulder. âItâs not like we have the best offensive player in the league,â Jungkook calls in a sing-songy voice.
A familiar arm wraps around your waist. âDid you two watch the same special, or something?â Jimin gripes, brushing his lips to your cheek. âThere are so many good players, calling anyone âthe bestâ is kind of pointless.â
âI believe they totaled your points,â you say, much to Jungkookâs amusement.
âI leave you alone for five minutes,â Jimin sighs with a shake of his head. âAnd of course, Jungkook swoops in to steal you.â
âCan you blame me?â Jungkook winks, drinking from his champagne. âLook at Y/N! If he ever messes up, Y/N, give me a call,â he jokes, and you feel Jimin stiffen.
âThat wonât be necessary,â you say, leaning your head on Jiminâs shoulder.
He relaxes ever so slightly, squeezing your waist with one hand. Jungkook grimaces at this, trading his nearly empty champagne glass for a full one.
âYou two are annoyingly cute,â he says, but he grins. âSeriously, though, youâve been putting in work, Jimin. Itâs impressive.â
âThanks.â Jimin nods, toasting his glass.
âHave you seen Tae and Seokjin?â Jungkook asks, standing on tiptoe. âI keep getting cornered by moms wanting me to date their daughters, and I could use some high ground.â
You canât help but laugh as Jimin jerks his thumb. âAlcove off the balcony. Everyone is gathered there â I was just coming to get Y/N.â
âPerfect,â Jungkook says as he leaves. âIâll meet you there.â
Once heâs gone, Jimin shakes his head. Taehyung and Seokjin are two of their closest high school friends. Seokjin is currently single, but Taehyung got married early this year. Unfortunately, you couldnât attend their wedding, but the ceremony looked beautiful, and you sent a gift.
Setting down his champagne, Jimin grabs your hand and tugs you into a corner. Turning to face you, his cheeks flush slightly pink.
âHey,â he murmurs, looking you up and down. âHave I said how beautiful you look tonight?â
Heat stirs in your belly. âNot yet, no.â
âWell, you do,â Jimin says, his gaze dark.
Admittedly, you were a bit unfair in packing this dress. Your original intention in buying it was to wear New Yearâs Eve and post jealousy-inducing photos on Instagram. Instead, youâre wearing it here with Jimin on your arm. Silky and emerald, the dress clings like a second skin, dropping in the back to a point just above your ass. Slightly impractical, but you borrowed a coat from Jisoo.
Jiminâs fingers ghost over the silk. âYou deserve to hear it again,â he murmurs, his voice husky. âYouâre being kind of unfair to everyone else at this party.â
âHow so?â
âPoor Jungkook will have to find someone else.â
Your upper lip twitches, stepping closer. âIs that what youâre worried about?â you coo, sliding a hand up his chest. âThat Iâll take Jungkook up on his offer? Not interested,â you say, allowing your gaze to linger. âYou, on the other hand â that suit is designed to ruin hearts.â
âOnly hearts?â
âMm.â Softly, your voice drops. âWhy? Were you planning on ruining something else?â
âOnly if you asked nicely.â
Your eyes widen, stunned and Jimin smiles. His hands grip your body, cedar and black pepper scent wrapping around you and doing its best to make you come undone.
âCome on.â Taking your hand, Jimin turns away. âLetâs go and say hi to my friends. Everyone was asking earlier where you were.â
Slightly dazed by his former implication, you nod and follow. Jimin leads you through the crowd, bypassing everyone who attempts small talk. By the time you reach the alcove, Jungkook is already seated.
âWhat happened to you two?â he asks, smushed between Taehyung and Seokjin on the couch. âMaking out in a corner? Couples are the worst,â he mutters to Taehyung before realizing who heâs talking to. âOh. Right. Never mind.â
Taehyungâs wife, Alya, laughs from her armchair. âNo comment. We may have been making out in a corner earlier.â
A lone strand of hair falls over Taehyungâs forehead. âGuilty,â he says, raising his glass.
Seokjin pokes Jungkook in the side. âIf you hate couples so much, why are you sitting here,â he groans. âThis is a two-person sofa.â
âExactly!â Jungkook says. âItâs weird for you and Taehyung to sit together, since heâs married. Iâm actually saving you.â
Settling onto an armchair, Jimin pulls you down with him to sit on his lap. His arm snakes around your front, pulling you backwards to rest.
âAnyways.â Jimin looks around. âHow is everyone?â
Hoseok and Jisoo appear from the hall. âOh, thank god,â Jisoo says, sitting between you and Alya. âThis area was a complete sausage fest the last time we swung by.â
âHey!â Seokjin cries. âI offered you a drink.â
âYou offered her your drink,â Hoseok says drily, sitting next to his wife. âDoesnât count.â
Jisoo leans over her armrest. âY/N,â she hisses. âDo you have a tampon? They didnât fit in my purse, and of course, my body waited until now to announce weâre not pregnant.â
You stifle a laugh. âYes, of course,â you say, handing her your purse. âLeft inner pocket â go wild.â
âThanks.â Flashing a smile, Jisoo stands from the chair and disappears down the hall.
Jimin holds you against him, his thumb lightly stroking the ridge of your hip. Your entire body melts, perception heightened at each point he touches.
âSo.â Jungkook turns towards Taehyung. âWhat did you get Alya for Christmas, Tae? Aside from the wedding, obviously.â
Alya laughs and sips her champagne. âGo on, tell them.â
Taehyung turns red. âItâs embarrassing!â
âWhat is?â Jungkook asks, glancing between them.
âItâs not.â Alya shakes her head. âTaehyung was so excited about the gift he gave it to me early. This morning, he surprised me by having our wedding bands engraved. I wanted to do it last year, but it didnât fit in our budget. Anyways, he borrowed my band to clean it and got it done! I didnât suspect a thing!â
âThatâs amazing,â you say. âI love that idea.â
âThanks, Y/N.â Taehyung smiles.
âWhat about you, Jimin?â Seokjin jostles Jungkook to face him. âWhat did you get Y/N this year? What is it â four years?â
Jimin tenses slightly, so you jump in. âOh, we decided not to do gifts this year,â you hasten. âThereâs been a lot going on, and we ââ
âI got Y/N a gift,â Jimin interrupts. âBut itâs a secret until tomorrow.â
Surprised, you crane your head sideways to see him. âYou got me a gift?â
He nods. âYeah. Is that alright?â
âMhm.â You shift in his lap. âI, um⌠actually got you something, too.â
Tightening his grip on your waist, Jimin keeps you still. âOh?â
âYouâll just have to wait and see.â
You bought Jimin a gift months ago, and never returned it. When you were packing, you decided at the last minute to throw it inside â along with this dress and the skimpy night clothes.
âI want to know!â Seokjin blurts. âJust whisper it in my ear, Y/N. I wonât tell.â
You laugh, facing forward. âSorry, Seokjin. Thatâs confidential. Mr. Kimâ â you nod at Taehyung â âmay not respect the sanctity of Santa Claus, but Iâm not risking getting coal in my stocking.â
Softly, Jimin laughs, nuzzling your shoulder with his lips. It hasnât escaped you that he stilled your hips to conceal his reaction to you on top. Something which distracts you more than it should.
âGet off,â Seokjin groans, pushing Jungkook upward. âI swear, you make this party worse every year.â
You grin, watching their antics as Jungkook walks off. Taller and heavier than Jimin, you know he only stood from the seat because he wanted to. Wandering to a free armchair, Jungkook flops down.
âWhereâs your Christmas spirit?â he asks, waving his glass of champagne. âI was just about to tell you the holidays arenât so bad with you around.â
Alya and Hoseok both laugh, and Taehyung shakes his head. Conversation then devolves to the Seattle Kraken, and Jiminâs fingers dig into the silk at your waist.
âDid you mean that?â he murmurs, lips at your ear. âDid you actually get me a present? Because itâs fine if you didnât. I sprung this trip on you, and weâre not â well, you knowâŚâ
âI know,â you say back. âBut yes, I got you a gift. Actually.â You pause. âI bought it for you a while ago and held onto it.â
âAh.â Jimin pauses. Slipping his thumb beneath your chin, he turns you to face him. âY/N. I just wanted to say ââ
âHey, Y/N, someoneâs calling you,â announces Jisoo, walking into the room. Reaching into your purse, she pulls out your phone and frowns. âWhoâs Mike?â
Your stomach drops through the floor.
Jiminâs body tenses beneath you, and you fight for a way out of the growing panic. Worse, everyone else seems to have heard, since all gazes lock on you. Struggling to breathe, you stand abruptly and snatch your phone.
âNo one,â you blurt, grabbing your purse from a blinking Jisoo. âI mean, Mikeâs a client. I should probably take this call outside.â
Before they can respond, you grab your phone and rush off. Brushing past Jisoo, you ignore her look of concern. Loudly, your heels click on the wooden floor. Whispers rise in your exit, but you ignore them, face burning as you turn your phone over in your hand.
Reaching the foyer, you stumble to a halt and glance overhead at the mistletoe. Purposefully side-stepping this, you see one missed call. In addition, there are several missed texts from Yoongi and Namjoon, but these you ignore.
Fingers trembling, you swipe open the text from Mike Davis.
Mike: hey, Y/N! I was doing laundry and found your Ventra card in my pocket. I think I grabbed yours by mistake. Want to meet up and exchange in the new year? [8:10 PM]
Mike: you know, I had a really great time meeting you the other night [8:13 PM]
You grip your phone tighter. He canât be serious. The date ended so poorly, you were surprised the bartender didnât film and put it on TikTok. Mike canât actually want to hang out again. Orthink reaching out to you on Christmas Eve would be a good idea.
Brow lowered, your fingers punch the keyboard.
Y/N: Hey, Mike. You can keep the Ventra card, no worries [8:25 PM]
Deleting his number, you exhale in relief and turn around â only to run into Jimin, who stands right behind. Close enough to have seen every word on your phone.
Jiminâs fists clench, having read both the texts. Thereâs no reason to be jealous, he reminds himself with zero success. You arenât dating, so itâs perfectly reasonable for you to text another guy. The fact that this Mike guy hasnât come up is none of Jiminâs concern. And yet.
âSo.â Voice cold, Jimin tilts his head. âMike isâŚ?â
He pauses for you to complete the blank, knowing you wonât say just a client.
âHeâsâŚâ Shifting, you avoid eye contact. âSomeone I know.â
âPlease.â
Your expression shifts, meeting his gaze. âWell, what do you want me to say?â you demand, stepping closer. âTell your friends a client called me. Theyâll buy it, itâll be fine.â
âItâs not fine,â Jimin growls. âAnd I could care less what my friends think.â
Bewildered, you stare. âI donât understand. Thatâs literally the entire reason you asked me to come here this weekend. So you wouldnât have to admit we broke up.â
Jiminâs heart flatlines. âIs that really what you think?â he demands, reaching out. Catching your wrist, he pulls you even closer. âYou thought I was so terrified of explaining my contract to my family, I couldnât possibly tell them we broke up, as well?â
Your brows furrow deeper. âThatâs what you told me, so, yes. Thatâs what I thought.â
âRight. And is it serious?â
âIs what serious?â
âThis guy â Mike. Are you two serious?â
Your jaw hangs open a second before it snaps shut. âAre we â no, Jimin,â you say, the words dripping with derision. âWeâre not serious. You and I broke up only three months ago! Do you really think I managed to move on so quickly?â
âI donât know,â Jimin admits, even as his head spins. âI didnâtââ
âI mean, god,â you exhale, ripping your hand from his grasp. âI go on one date, and somehow, Iâm the bad guy. Never mind that youâre the one who wanted to break up,â you add, whirling around to jab him in the chest. âYouâ â a second prod â âwere the one who asked to break up!â
Closing his hand around your finger, Jimin tugs you forward. âI know,â he says hoarsely. âI know I messed up, Y/N. I know I have no right to be jealous, but I am. Iâm jealous, and Iâm wrong, and I donât even fucking care because I miss you, Y/N. I know youâre right here, but I miss you.â
Something in your gaze breaks. âI miss you, too, Jimin.â
âI know I didnât fight hard enough to keep you back then. I should have, and I canât say how much I regret it.â Sliding his hands up your arms, Jimin grips your elbows. âI donât care if you went out with one guy or a hundred. I asked you to come here this weekend because I wanted you. I was too afraid to ask you outright, so I used my career as an excuse.â
âAn⌠excuse?â
Gripping you tighter, Jimin exhales. âI mean, everyone knows. My parents know Iâm extending my contract, and theyâre fine with it. I still donât want to tell them we broke up.â
âWell, sure.â Your gaze darts across him. âBecause you donât want to spoil Christmas â right?â
âThatâs not why.â
âThen, why?â
Before he can lose his nerve, Jimin slides his arm around your waist and pulls you flush against him. You inhale when your chests touch, the silk of your dress rucking beneath his palm.
âI think you know the reason,â he rasps, his gaze finding your lips.
âAll the sameâ â somehow, your fingers curl into hair at the base of his neck â âIâd like to hear you say it.â
Bending, Jiminâs lips skim your throat. âI told you I donât care what my family thinks. I just want you, Y/N.â
Inhaling sharply, you turn your head. Your lips briefly touch, then you still.
Jimin hesitates, his brain short-circuiting before he connects. Springing into motion, he slides both palms to either side of your face and kisses you deeply. Walking you backwards, he only stops when your spine hits the wall. Reaching lower, Jimin grabs your wrists with one hand to yank overhead.
You stare upward, eyes lidded, as your chest rises and falls. Jimin nearly groans, sliding his knee between your legs to widen your stance.
âGod, youâre perfect,â he breathes, crushing your mouth with his.
All he knows is your scent, wrapped around him. The feel of your mouth, the curves of your body arching against him. Jimin loses himself in the moment â in you â to the point where nothing else seems to matter.
Releasing your wrists, Jimin grasps the hem of your dress with one hand to drag it upward. Inch by inch, your bare thigh is revealed to his touch.
âOh,â you gasp, your head hitting the wall.
Taking advantage, Jimin kisses roughly down your exposed neckline. Each time you inhale, it reminds him of your chest against him. Withdrawing, Jimin glances down and nearly curses. Whatever bra you have on does little to conceal your hardened nipples, easily visible through the silk of your dress.
âMm.â Jimin exhales, running a thumb over the tip. âCanât have you returning to the party like this, can I?â
Your thighs clench. âPeople definitelywouldnât suspect we broke up.â
Again, Jimin circles your nipple, making you moan. âSorry,â he murmurs. âLike I said, though â this isnât about the people out there. This is about you. What do you want, Y/N?â
Jimin holds his breath as he waits for an answer. Really, this is what it comes down to.
Your grip on him tightens. âI want you to take me home right now, Jimin.â
âFuck, yes,â he breathes.
Grasping you by the hand, Jimin tugs you into the hall. You giggle, stumbling as you fix the strap of your dress, and he canât keep a stupid grin from spreading over his face.
âWeâre leaving now,â Jimin says, bringing you towards the exit. âOtherwise, Iâm going to drag you into the bathroom and fuck you like that.â
Your heels dig into the floorboards, and he turns to look at you, concerned.
âOh.â You blink innocently. âIâm sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?â
Jimin goes still, consumed by images heâd rather not face. Visions of your panties pulled down, bent over his knees while he fingers your dripping pussy. Or your hands, curled around a doorframe while he lowers himself to drag his tongue up your slit. Or pressed against a wall, your panties pushed aside for him to â
âAlright â enough,â Jimin growls, grabbing your hand.
You laugh when he pulls you onward, bringing you to the lodge doors. Reaching the front, Jimin pauses long enough to hand the valet his ticket. While you visit the coat closet, he pulls you close and runs his nose down your throat.
âDo you have any idea how crazy you make me?â he murmurs, low in your ear. âAny idea just how many times Iâve jerked off in the shower this trip?â
âHow sad,â you say, turning to face him. âPray tell, what did you think about?â
Sliding his hand over the curve of your ass, Jimin presses you closer. âLots of things,â he exhales. âYour pretty lips around my cock. Finger-fucking you slowly, making you take it. How wet you were beneath those ridiculous excuses for nightgowns.â
Your laugh is throaty. âI brought those specifically for you, you know.â
âMission accomplished,â Jimin growls. Outside, he sees the valet arrive and releases your waist. âNow, letâs go.â
Slipping both arms into your coat, you follow Jimin outside to the car. He helps you in, shutting the door and traveling to the passenger side. Shoving a hand through his hair, he attempts to regain his composure. The two of you need to get home safely â thatâs top priority.
Of course, by the time he sits down and glances over, all thoughts of safety fly out the window. Youâve left your coat unbuttoned, enough that he sees each sinful line of your body. Suddenly, his top priority is to get you home â now.
Shutting the door, Jimin puts the car in drive and pulls from the lodge. You exhale, somewhat breathless as you shift to face him.
âThis is going to be fast,â you admit, a bit breathy. Jiminâs hands on the wheel tighten. âYou said youâve been jerking off in the shower? Well, I havenât had any alone time. Youâve just been edging me for three days.â
âDonât say edging,â Jimin groans. âIâm trying to concentrate on getting you home.â
âOh?â Tilting your head, you lean closer. âDo you find that topic distracting?â
âYes,â Jimin huffs, and then pauses. âActually⌠I think you could use a little more distraction. Donât you?â
He doesnât miss the way your fingers still, your breath hitching beside him.
âMaybe,â you say.
Jimin glances in your direction. âSpread your legs.â
Without breaking eye contact, you spread your legs until the silk is stretched tautly over your thighs.
âPull up your dress.â
Casually, you grip the hem to tug upward. Jimin tries not to look, watching the road, but the position is torturous. As soon as you come to a stop light, he turns.
Your thighs press against the edge of the seat, silken dress hitched over the top of your thighs. Jimin exhales, unable to see what he wants, but the shadows and skin are more than enticing.
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, and desire flares in your gaze.
Arching slightly, your hand inches lower to dip beneath your dress. Jimin keeps his eyes on you, watching and waiting for your reaction. When he hears the slip of your finger, your lips slowly part as your eyes fill with lust.
âOh,â you exhale, and Jiminâs body tightens.
âThatâs it,â he breathes, listening to your finger drag upward. âHow wet are you, baby?â
âSo wet,â you groan, eyelashes fluttering as you spread your legs further.
âNo.â Jiminâs gaze drops to your hand. âPress your thighs together. Keep touching yourself.â
The light turns green, spurring him onward as the night changes. He watches you obey in the corner of one eye, legs pressed together with your hand trapped between them. Head hitting the headrest, your chest rises and falls with the motion of your fingers.
 âThatâs it, baby,â Jimin murmurs, switching lanes to go faster. âYouâre doing so well. I want you to come once for me before we get home. Okay?â
Your eyes open. âYou want me to come?â
âJust once.â Jimin lowly chuckles. âI know you, baby. I know you can come at least twice more tonight.â
âFuck,â you groan, your need evident.
The record number of orgasms Jimin has given you in one night is five, but that was only one time. Jimin thought itâd be fun to see how many times he could make you come with only his tongue. Five, it turned out â or rather, that was the point you frankly begged for his cock.
A few minutes away from home, Jimin relents. âAlright,â he exhales. âSpread your legs again.â
You instantly obey, thighs spread as you groan, your fingers slipping lower.
âCan you stretch yourself for me, baby?â Jimin murmurs, the words low and thick. âKeep that other hand on your clit, now.â
Adding another hand, you arch on the seat. Every ounce of blood in Jiminâs body rushes towards his cock, enough to make things painful as you near the house. You push a finger inside, releasing a moan that makes his grip tighten.
âThatâs it,â Jimin exhales, driving as carefully as possible over the dirt road.
âAh,â you gasp when he hits a bump, jolting your fingers deeper.
Jimin clenches the wheel. âYou liked that?â
âYeah,â you whisper, glancing at him, your expression almost shy.
Fuck. Jimin does his best to angle the car, creating more friction as you rub your clit. He does his best to remain facing forward but is distracted every so often by the sight of your hips moving against the seat.
Throwing out a hand, you grasp his lower arm. âJimin,â you groan, your head hitting the headrest. âIâm so, so close.â
Pulling to a stop in the driveway, Jimin puts the car in park and throws off his seatbelt. Shoving open the door, he goes to the passenger side. Your eyes widen when he yanks open your door, unbuckling you and dragging your hips to the edge of your seat.
âEyes on me,â Jimin directs, gripping the seat on either side. âJust keep touching yourself like a good girl, Y/N. I know that pussy is so pretty and wet. Canât wait to lick it clean later. Can you spread yourself wider? Add another finger?â
Your thighs fall on either side of his waist, enough for Jimin to know you can feel how hard he is. The dress continues to cover your waist, and he doesnât lift it higher. Doesnât so much as touch you, just keeps his gaze trained on yours.
âI need your fingers,â you whimper, and Jimin feels you grip his wrist, guiding his hand in between your slick legs.
âShit,â he exhales, feeling how wet you are.
The slick core of heat, your hips arching against him, breaks his last scruple. Keeping his gaze steady, Jimin slowly slides two fingers into your perfect cunt. Relief washes over your face, your lips parting as fresh arousal coats Jiminâs hand.
âGod,â he murmurs, twisting his fingers to pull out. Slowly, he pushes back in and watches you hiccup. âYou really did need my fingers, didnât you, baby?â
âYes,â you whimper, scrambling to sit straighter. Pulling him closer, your thighs widen. âI need you inside me.â
âIn what way?â Jimin muses, stretching you as he pulls out.
âWant your cock, Jimin,â you groan, your chest heaving.
Pushing aside your coat, his free hand yanks down the strap of your dress, revealing what can barely be construed as a bra. The tiniest silk triangle barely covers your nipple in a flimsy excuse for support.
âYouâll get my cock,â Jimin promises. Lowering his head, he sucks your nipple â silk and all â between his lips. âWant to taste you first.â
âJimin,â you moan.
âPatience.â Yanking your hips closer, he leans over you on the seat. Using this angle, he works his fingers deeper as your body tightens. âLike that, yeah?â Jimin murmurs, brushing your g-spot. âWant to come like this?â
âPlease,â you whimper, spreading your thighs.
Jimin loses himself in the haze of your body, the tight slick of your heat while he finger-fucks you. Each thrust of his forearm has your breasts bouncing, your tiny scrap of a bra doing nothing to hide the movement.
âOnce we get upstairsâ â Jimin thrusts harder â âI want this dress on the floor. I want you dripping wet and naked, ass in the air so I can push my cock inside you.â
âJimin!â you gasp, your entire body shuddering.
âAnd then,â he adds, low in your ear, âI want you to ride me. Need these tits in my mouth, your ass bouncing on my dick as you come again.â
You cry out, head thrown back as you come apart. Continuing to thrust his fingers, Jimin slows his movement as your breathing lengthens. Slumping against him, you hold tight with both arms.
As gentle as possible, Jimin slips his fingers from your body to fix your dress and coat. Shifting your weight from the seat to his arms, he shuts the door with his heel and starts to walk up the drive.
Stirring, you look around. âOh,â you exhale, seeing the front porch. âAre we home already?â
Jimin stops to stare at you in his arms. âDid you⌠think I just pulled aside on a random highway?â he asks, equal parts puzzled and amused.
Sheepish, you feel your face heat. âMaybe?â
âFair enough.â Jimin chuckles and keeps moving. âYou should know, though â I wouldnât risk anyone else seeing you like that.â He pauses. âUnless you wanted them to.â
You squirm in his arms, somewhat embarrassed by how much you like the prospect. Seeing this, Jiminâs eyes gleam and he leans closer.
âSeems like you might want that,â he murmurs.
Unable to articulate, you nod and watch his lips curve.
âNoted.â
Reaching the front door, Jimin bends to set you down. Once inside, he strips from his coat and boots, turning around to face you.
God, just looking at him is enough to make you weak. He just gave one ridiculously satisfying orgasm â it should be too soon for another and yet, your traitorous body feels barely sated.
âWas I not clear?â Lifting a brow, Jimin walks closer. âI thought I said I wanted you naked.â
You lift your chin. âWanting is different than getting.â
âOh, I think you want that, too.â
Fuck. You absolutely do, but you know Jimin enjoys being teased, so you lift your chin in the air to walk past him. âWell?â you demand, placing one hand on the railing. âAre you coming?â
You let your coat drop to your elbows, stepping out of your heels to head upstairs. Jimin groans from behind, and you hear his footsteps follow.
Entering the bedroom, you drop your coat on the couch and turn. Jimin stands framed in the door, several buttons on his jacket already undone. He doesnât come any closer, and you lift your thumbs to slip under the straps.
âWas this what you wanted?â you ask, innocently slipping them down your shoulders.
Jimin moves forward. Coming to a stop, he replaces your thumbs and casually tugs. The dress slips from your shoulders, catching on your chest, and he motions you to turn.
Obeying, you watch in the mirror as Jimin steps closer. He meets your gaze head-on, slipping a hand around your stomach to mold himself to you from behind. Finding your zipper with his other hand, he tugs down.
Both of you watch the dress fall, silk pooling at your feet to leave you naked. Well, mostly naked. A red, silk thong remains, along with your bra. Really, just two triangles of silk held up by thin straps. Your breasts spill around the materials, creating a tantalizing visual his gaze is locked on. Jimin fingers the clasp of your bra, then releases.
âActually,â he says, his voice husky. âI want to play like this.â
Before you can fully digest his words, Jimin walks around and grasps your hand. Leading you to bed, he sets you down and urges you backwards.
âThatâs it,â he murmurs, nudging your ankles apart. âJust like that.â
Releasing you, he takes a step back to run a hand through his hair. You stare upward, propped on your elbows, your chest rising and falling. Jimin stares like youâre something to be savored, then devoured. His gaze traces your body, starting at your ankles to work his way upward.
He takes in your spread legs, dripping pussy visible beneath the scrap of silk. By the time Jimin finds your breasts, your nipples are painfully hard, and he groans, reaching down to palm his cock. Your breath catches, seeing how hard he is in his pants.
âJimin,â you moan, sliding one foot lower. âI want you.â
Lowering his knee to the bed, Jimin plants a hand on either side of your head. âPatience,â he murmurs, brushing his lips to yours.
You curl around him, fingers tangling in soft stands of his hair. His fully clothed body presses against you, nearly nude, and you shiver. The feel of his suit against skin is intoxicating. Jimin pulls back to nip your lower lip, grasping you by the waist to pin you fully.
Thrusting forward, he allows you to feel how badly he wants you. His achingly hard cock grinds against your center, and you arch beneath him.
âJimin,â you pant, tightening your grip in his hair.
âAh â fuck,â he groans, helplessly rutting between your spread thighs.
Your hands fumble, slipping beneath his suit jacket to cast this aside. Jimin sits up, helping you shed his dark turtleneck. Thrown to the ground, he lowers his mouth, eagerly flicking your chest with his tongue. You moan, hands fisting his hair to anchor him. Tugging the other silk cup down, Jimin switches to suck a hardened nipple.
âGet rid of it,â you pant, reaching underneath to unsnap your bra. Jimin grins, tossing your bra on top of his pile of clothes. Swiftly returning, he bends to lick and suck at your breasts.
Your hips roll beneath him, desperately searching for your release. Jimin knows how sensitive you are, knows you can come like this, but doesnât seem inclined. Instead, he sits back and runs a hand through his hair.
You nearly come at the sight â Jimin, shirtless with mussed hair and reddened lips. Pushing yourself upward, you struggle to undo the first button of his pants.
Chuckling, Jimin replaces your hands with his. âI need these on,â he says, scooting backwards. âI need something to keep myself from coming.â
âBut I want you to come,â you protest as Jimin lowers himself to his stomach.
âAnd I appreciate that.â Turning his head, his breath touches your knee. âBut Iâve spent three months fantasizing about what to do if I ever got to touch you again. First things first.â
Lowering yourself to your elbows, your entire body throbs at the sight of Jimin between your thighs. He looks at you, reverent, before slowly dragging his thumb down your aching center.
âOh,â you inhale, opening further.
Gaze dark, Jimin pulls the fabric of your panties aside. Your face burns, hearing your wetness, but all that dissolves at the first sweep of his tongue.
âFu-ck, Jimin,â you groan, head tipping back.
He takes his time, working you open with long, tender strokes. No man has ever eaten you out so well, and you doubt anyone ever will again. As though driving this point home, Jimin switches from tender licks to sucking hard on your clit. You moan, helplessly splayed beneath his torture.
âJimin,â you gasp, hands fisting in sheets.
Shifting closer, Jimin nudges one leg over his shoulders and grips your ass with both hands. Pulling you into his mouth, he devours, licking up and down in a way thatâs obscene. A half-sob climbs in your throat, your back arching when he adds a finger.
âThatâs it, Y/N,â Jimin pants, lifting his head. âSuch a pretty pussy. Can you come for me, baby?â
âY-yes,â you gasp.
Jimin lowers his mouth, adding a finger while slowly sucking your clit. Staring down your body at him, you feel your thighs tremble. Jiminâs shoulders flex while eating you out, his hips grinding into the sheets to get himself off. Imagining his cock pushing inside tips you over the edge, and you break apart. A wave of pleasure sweeps through you, seeing stars as Jimin curls his fingers.
Muscles limp, you collapse on the mattress. When your eyes open, your thigh is still flung over Jiminâs shoulder. Grinning, he pushes himself upward, taking your leg with him. Turning, Jimin presses a soft kiss to your calf.
âFuck,â you groan, one arm flung over your face. âThat was even better than I remember. And trust me, Iâve thought about that a lot.â
âOh?â Jimin gently sets your leg down. âDo tell.â
You peek at him through your fingers. âTake off your pants.â
Jimin drops his hands to his belt. âTell meâ â he undoes the buckle â âin explicit detailâ â he pulls the length through the straps â âwhat you thought about.â The belt is dropped on the floor.
Your tongue swipes your lower lip. âI thought about a lot of things.â
âBe specific.â Shoving his pants and briefs down, Jimin lingers at the point where his hips are exposed. âWhen you touched yourself, did you think of me?â
âYes,â you whisper.
âMm.â Jimin tilts his head. âWhat about when you used your toys?â
You whimper, spreading your thighs on his bed. âYes.â
âAnd were they good enough? Did your pretty pink dildo stretch you as nicely?â
âNo,â you whimper, watching him stand.
Still looking at you, Jimin pushes his slacks to the floor. Your heart pounds when his length is released, so hard it seems painful. The head of his cock glistens with pre-cum, the thick veins prominent. Wrapping a fist around himself, Jimin places one knee on the mattress.
âTake your panties off,â he rasps, and you hasten to obey.
Once theyâre removed, youâre left naked before him. Gaze glinting, Jimin inclines his head. âTurn around. Lay on your stomach.â
Heat throbs between your legs as you do so, glancing over your shoulder. Jimin positions himself behind you, kneeling over your thighs with his cock in his fist.
âIâve thought about this for so long,â he exhales, slipping two fingers into your pussy. Arching your back, you squirm to get closer. âWhen you come, I want to see you, but right nowâŚâ
You feel the head of cock nudging your thighs apart, getting wet with your slick. Leaning over, Jimin pulls open a drawer on his nightstand to retrieve a condom. Pulling this open, he rolls this onto himself and pushes between your thighs.
Each messy thrust rubs his cock against your clit, making you push your ass backwards. Jimin smacks your ass swiftly, then makes a low noise and rubs it.
âGod, I missed you,â he exhales, pushing himself into your cunt.
You moan, burying your face in your arms to lift your ass higher. Jimin is thick, even more than you remember, and you feel your walls stretch with a pleasant burn. He pauses a few inches in to gently tug your hips upward.
Keeping your chest to the bed, he lifts you almost to your knees. Leaning forward, Jimin slips an arm underneath you to play with your clit. From behind, his hips slowly thrust in and out a few inches. Stretching you, yet barely sating the edge of your desire.
âJimin,â you groan, turning your head to capture his mouth.
His fingers nudge your clit, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock gets even deeper. Each time he slowly thrusts and withdraws, you accept him a little more. Buried halfway, Jimin draws leisurely circles around your throbbing clit.
âMore,â you moan, pushing back.
Jimin chuckles, retreating to grip your hips with both hands. He thrusts in slow, easy motions to work himself deeper. By the time he bottoms out, your hands are fisted in sheets.
âFuck,â you exhale, thighs spread to accommodate him inside you.
Jimin stays there a moment, thumbs drifting over the shape of your ass. âY/N,â he mutters. âYouâre so goddamn perfect.â
Leisurely, he withdraws until only the head of his cock remains. Jimin thrusts forward slowly, making you feel every inch of him. Moaning, you bury your face in the sheets, and his hand comes down again.
âLouder,â Jimin demands, gripping your waist. âDonât hide from me, baby. Want to hear you.â
Head thrown back, you pant as he sinks into you fully. All you do is take it, breathless and eager while he slowly fucks you. Casually, Jimin pushes your hips down so you lie flat on the bed. One foot on the mattress, he adjusts himself to push inside you like that.
âOh,â you moan, toes curling.
Thighs pressed together, your clit rubs the sheets, making it messy and tight as he moves inside you. Gripping your ass with one hand, Jimin anchors himself to fuck you in slow, rolling movements. You arch underneath him, gaining friction but when you clench tighter, Jimin pulls out.
A strangled sound leaves your throat. âExcuse me,â you blurt, rolling sideways to face him. âI was enjoying that.â
âOh, I know.â Jimin grins from the spot where he kneels. His cock is hard, glistening with evidence of your arousal. âBut what I really want is to have you on my lap.â
A shiver runs down your spine. Turning over, you arch your back and watch Jiminâs eyes glaze. He reaches for you swiftly, helping you onto your knees. Seating himself against the headboard, Jimin arranges your body over his thighs.
Hovering above him, you grasp his shoulders. âIs this what you wanted?â
âFuck, yes.â Jimin drinks in your body. His fingers swipe through your cunt, teasing as he bends to suck a hard nipple between his lips.
Spreading your ass with one hand, his fingers stroke up and down your aching pussy. Arching against him, you present your chest further as your grip on him tightens. Jimin slips a finger inside you, casually fucking like that until you moan.
âJimin,â you whimper. âPlease.â
Moving to grip his cock, Jimin positions himself at your entrance. âAll you had to do was ask,â he says, guiding your hips.
The head of his cock pushes inside, then stops, waiting for you to take over. Greedy, you seat yourself in a single motion. One second, youâre empty and the next, youâre full of his cock. Jimin swears, gripping you tightly as you inhale. Chest pressed to his, you stay there, pussy throbbing as you grow accustomed to his girth.
âFuck â Y/N,â Jimin chokes out.
âI thought you wanted this?â you tease, lifting your hips to swivel. Jiminâs eyelashes flutter when you start riding him, rising and falling on the length of his cock.
Thighs spread, you grip his shoulders to move up and down. Jimin groans, lowering his head to tease one of your nipples. He continues this while you fuck him, sucking and releasing with a lewd pop. Needing him deeper, you start to bounce up and down. His cock soothes a tight ache inside you, stretching your body like he was made for it.
Breathless, you press closer, curling your fingers into his hair. Jimin responds eagerly, widening your thighs to grip your ass with one hand. Tightly entwined, you move against him until he takes over, slamming your hips down again and again.
âJimin,â you pant, your legs trembling. âI need more.â
âMore?â Jimin pants, his expression truly fucked out. âAlright, baby.â
Lifting you off his cock, he ensures the condom is snug and positions himself on his knees. âLie down,â Jimin demands, and you hasten to obey.
Settling on your back, you spread your thighs for Jimin to move between. Gripping your ankles, he lifts your legs upward. Pushing them towards your chest, he exposes you fully.
âSo pretty,â Jimin murmurs, dragging his fingers through the slick of your folds. Switching your ankles to one hand, he lowers them to his shoulder and positions his cock at your entrance. When he pushes inside, you moan at the tightness. âYeah, thatâs it,â he coaxes, getting deeper. âYou take me so well, baby.â
âBetter than other girls?â you pant, the words out of your mouth before you can stop them.
Jimin goes still, then gently parts your thighs. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Jimin leans forward until your lips brush.
âWhat other girls?â he murmurs, thrusting into you slowly. âY/N. You donât seriously think I had any interest in fucking other girls while we were apart?â
Your heart hammers as you try â and fail â to squash your insecurities. With everyone else, you have no trouble saying what you want. With Jimin though, youâre aware he could crush you with a single word. Itâs harder when the stakes are as high as they are.
âI wouldnât be mad if you did,â you whisper. âWe were⌠broken up, and ââ
Jimin bends, rolling his hips to shove his cock deeper. Your words break on a moan, legs encircling him tighter.
âI donât want to hear that again,â Jimin says, low in your ear. âYou are the only person I want, Y/N. The only one in my bed. The only pussy wrapped around this cock. The only one coming beneath me,â he murmurs with another hard thrust.
Your thighs start to shake, but you fight to keep present. Hips lifting, you match him thrust for thrust as your fingers curl in his hair. Jimin moves faster, pounding you into the bed hard enough to see stars.
âI donât care if you slept with someone else,â he says hoarsely, reaching between you. You tremble when he circles your swollen clit. âI just want you thinking of me from now on.â
âY-yes, Jimin!â you cry out, not sure what youâre agreeing to, but knowing you donât want this moment to end. You donât want this to end when the weekend is over.
His mouth crushes yours, tongue sweeping forward to match every thrust. Jiminâs scent is all around you, within you as you begin to lose track of where you end, and he begins. Your focus narrows, becoming nothing but pinpricks of building pleasure. Jiminâs cock pounds into you harder, hands grasping, breath mingling as you come undone.
Gasping his name, you clutch him tight as your pleasure explodes. Jimin coaxes you through it, keeping his fingers on your clit to ride out the tremors. Once youâre slumped, fully sated, Jimin releases the hold he had on himself. Nearly withdrawing, Jimin slams his cock forward to fill your still-spasming cunt.
You cry out, thighs widening as he lets you have it. Fucking you with full abandon, Jimin hammers your g-spot in a punishing manner. Nearly as swift as the fall, you feel your climax building. This time, your body feels beyond your control, practically weightless beneath the force of his cock in your pussy. Itâs all you can do to stay conscious when another orgasm rolls through you.
Jimin groans when you come, feeling your walls flutter around his thick cock. Burying his face in your neck, Jimin thrusts deeper to release. Clasped tightly around him, you feel the warm pulse as he fills the condom. Bittersweet, you wish this wasnât there, so he could play with his slick. Breathless and panting, the two of you lie there until Jimin withdraws.
Gathering his strength, he sits back on his heels. Removing the condom, Jimin ties this in a knot and tosses it in the trash. When he heads for the bathroom, you stretch out both arms, feeling limp.
And happy.
By the time you and Jimin trade places, your eyelids are drooping. Exiting the bathroom, you find the lights off and Jimin already in bed. You attempt to grab his t-shirt from the floor and are met with a loud throat clear.
âWhat are you doing?â Jimin huffs.
Straightening, you find him already in bed, the sheets pulled down beside him. Jimin looks pointedly at that side, then at you.
âI was trying to wear your t-shirt to bed,â you say, slipping between the sheets to face him. âItâs Christmas Eve, Iâll have you know. December in Washington. Brr.â
Moving closer, Jimin slips an arm over your waist. âThere,â he murmurs, pulling you towards him. âUse me to warm up.â
For this, you have no retort. In the back of your mind, a voice whispers you should talk to him, that there are important things to discuss, but everything fades in the warmth of his arms. Eyelids so heavy, you can barely keep them open, you fall asleep.
For the first time in months, you sleep through the night.
You wake the next morning with a start.
Eyes wide, you stare at the wall and feel Jiminâs arm on your waist. Rather than joy though, panic claws at your throat. There were so many things you should have asked him last night. So many things you should have said instead of immediately falling into bed with your ex.
As quietly as possible, you slip free of his arm and stand from the bed. Grasping a sweatshirt and jeans, you tiptoe down the hall to swiftly get dressed. Gripping the bathroom counter, you stare at yourself in the mirror and try to sort through your feelings. Twice, you pull out your phone only to hesitate, setting it down.
Today is Christmas, meaning Namjoon and Yoongi will be with their families. Dr. Germain, your therapist, is on vacation, although you know she would respond to an emergency. This could hardly be considered an emergency, though. This is just you, acting rashly and â your heart sinks, knowing this was exactly the opposite.
You want Jimin. Youâve wanted Jimin since the night you broke up, but were so near-sighted last night, you didnât stop to ask if he wants the same. Abruptly, you turn and open the door to the hall. Heading downstairs, you sort through the facts.
Jimin apologized for this fall. He said he regretted not staying. He said he thinks of you often, and that he hadnât been with anyone else. If this were last year, you might read between the lines and assume he still wanted you. This isnât last year, though. Current you has experience with expecting Jimin to do one thing, and he does another.
Dragging a hand down your face, you stop by the kitchen for coffee. The only way youâll be able to sort through this before opening presents is with massive amounts of caffeine.
Gazing outside, you see freshly fallen snow and wonder if itâd be crazy to go for a walk. Once your coffee is full, you pad down the hallway and slip on your boots. Your coat is halfway zipped when a throat clears behind you.
Whirling around, you nearly drop the mug as Jisoo appears.
âOh my god,â you blurt, one hand on your chest. âYou scared me. I didnât realize anyone else was awake yet.â
âAre you kidding me?â she laughs, walking closer with her own mug. âTwo three-year-old daughters on Christmas? Theyâve been up since the crack of dawn.â
Nervous, you laugh as your hand falls. âAh, right. Is Hoseok keeping them in their rooms?â
Jisoo shakes her head, coming to a stop. âThey fell back asleep â Hoseok, too.â Curious, she glances past you at the door. âGoing for a⌠walk?â
âThinking about it.â
âItâs below freezing.â
âYeah. I thought it might help⌠clear my mind.â
Her brows furrow, pensive enough that you nearly curse. You couldnât be more obvious that you and Jimin are having trouble. Thereâs no other reason to be up this early, trying to escape into the wilderness rather than face your ex.
Plaintive, she takes a sip of her coffee. âYou know, I know you two are broken up.â
Well, fuck. Someone will have to scrape your jaw from the floor. Stunned, you stare as Jiminâs sister takes another long sip of coffee.
Seeing your face, Jisoo steps closer. âYou stopped talking in the group chat,â she explains softly, patting your arm. âAnd Jimin⌠well, he seems slightly better now, but we all saw how he was after the injury.â
âI donât⌠we, weâre not,â you fumble, the words dying.
âItâs okay. I get why you didnât want to tell us. Why he didnât want to tell us.â
At this point, itâs too late to make any denial. Jisoo has already seen the truth in your face. You suppose the important part is she hasnât told their parents â although part of you wonders if his mom knows, as well.
âItâs been a long year,â you admit finally, your voice cracking.
âOh, Y/N.â Setting down her mug, Jisoo pulls you into her arms. âThere, there,â she exhales, rubbing your back. âIâm sorry I brought that up. I just thought⌠well, I thought you might want to talk to someone not my brother.â
âThanks,â you whisper.
Patting your arm, she pulls back. âSo, do you? Want to talk?â
âIâŚâ You trail off. âItâs complicated. We broke up last September, but Jimin asked if Iâd help him break the news of his contract to your parents. Things have been different this weekend, but I donât know if Jimin is on the same page as I am. I want to get back together, but⌠heâs the one who asked to break up.â
Jisooâs eyes fill with sympathy. âYou should talk to him.â
âI know,â you exhale. âI know, and I will. I just⌠I canât stop thinking about the last time we had a serious conversation. How badly that went.â
Understanding crosses her face. âI get that, I do.â
âHe seems different. But itâs only been three months. Jimin is playing hockey so well â he seems to have his shit together, and Iâm just a mess. What if I want to get back together, and he says no? Maybe this whole thing â the holidays, the hot chocolate â was just a way to say goodbye.â
Jisooâs gives you a look. âY/N. Listen to me â I know my brother. I knew within two seconds that youâd broken up. And Iâm equally certain he still loves you â partly because my husband is a terrible secret keeper.â She shakes her head. âApparently, Jimin asked for Hoseokâs help to win you back.â
You blink. âThat⌠that canât possibly be ââ
Footsteps clatter downstairs, and you both turn your heads.
âY/N,â Jimin blurts, slipping a little. His sweatpants are only half on, hopping wildly to avoid Hanaâs toy on the landing. âThank god. I thought you left,â he admits, rushing forward to grab both your arms.
Jisoo pointedly clears her throat.
Jimin glances sideways, then does a double take. âHave you been there the whole time?â
Rolling her eyes, Jisoo grabs her coffee and turns. âMerry Christmas, Jimin. Go and make up with your girlfriend.â
He watches her leave, then shakes his head, and looks back. âAre you okay?â he breathes, scanning your frame. âI woke up and you were gone. I thoughtâŚâ
Putting two and two together, your eyes widen. âYou thought I left.â
Jimin seems a bit queasy, but he manages to nod.
Taking another step closer, you grip his elbows. âJimin, no,â you say. âMy suitcase was still there. Didnât you see?â
âOh.â He blinks. âI didnât notice.â
Oddly enough, his panic gives you the courage to speak. âI wasnât leaving. I just wanted a walk. You know⌠clear my head. Think about what happened last night.â
âAre you⌠having second thoughts?â
âSecond thoughts?â you say in disbelief. âJimin, we never discussed a first thought. You werenât clear about what you wanted.â
âI wasnât clear?â His brow furrows. âY/N, I said I didnât want anyone but you. That you were the only person for me. I apologized for September and said that Iâm trying to change. What else could I have meant?â
Your heart hammers against your ribcage, but you push on. âI know,â you admit, voice catching. âItâs just⌠well, I thought I knew what youâd say in September, and I turned out to be wrong. I was scared, and I asked for a break, but you agreed.â
Sudden understanding dawns on his features. Jiminâs hands slide up your arms to cup your face, his gaze gentle.
âY/N, no,â he murmurs. âI was wrong. I shouldnât have left. I just⌠didnât want to hear what you were saying, which was that our relationship had problems. You wanted to fix those problems, and I ran away. Iâm not running now, though.â Determination flickers in his gaze. âY/N, I want to stay. Whether thatâs as your boyfriend, fiancĂŠe, husband, or something else entirely â I donât care. I just want you.â
Hearing him say this, your heart swells. Unbearable lightness spreads through you, and you take a step closer. Jimin pulls you against him, hands finding your back as he lowers his head.
âIâm sorry I scared you,â he murmurs. âI should have been clearer last night. I was, uh, a little distracted.â Jimin huffs out a laugh.
âIâm sorry you woke up and found me gone,â you whisper, tightening your grip. âI just⌠didnât want to assume, and I was scared.â
Jimin shakes his head. âItâs not assuming, Y/N. I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I will never stop,â he adds. âSo, you might as well get used to this.â
âI never stopped loving you, either. I ââ
Jimin cuts you off, crushing your mouth to his. Bending at the knees, he lifts you over one shoulder and heads for the stairs. You yelp, smacking his shoulder but Jimin doesnât stop.
âJimin,â you laugh. âItâs Christmas! We should ââ
âCelebrate our relationship at least once before everyone else gets up? Yes, agreed.â
Breath catching, you briskly nod. âYes, yes. Good point. That.â
Laughter rumbles in his chest, carrying you down the hall and for the rest of the morning â until the twins bang on your door â you lose yourself in blissful certainty. Jimin is yours, and youâre his.
With no end in sight.
Seated beside you on the loveseat, Jimin plays with your fingers, entwined in his lap. With his other arm, Jimin brings you closer to brush a kiss to your temple.
Smiling, you face him. âWhatâre you doing, Mr. Park?â you lowly scold. âYou do know weâre not alone, right?â
Jimin lowers his nose to your hair. âMoreâs the pity,â he murmurs.
Heat flushes through you, but he sits back in his seat. The Christmas Eve party this year is at the ski lodge again, and all of his friends have gathered in the same spot. Tonight though, you sit beside him with a ring on your finger. Jimin barely made it to the playoffs before he proposed.
Thumb brushing over the stone in the center, Jimin canât help but smile. From far across the room comes the sound of Jungkook booing.
âWe get it,â he calls, hands cupped over his mouth. âYou two are disgustingly happy. Get a room, why donât you?â
âWe will,â you call back, snuggling into Jiminâs side. âLater.â
Seokjin laughs and elbows Jungkookâs ribs. âYouâre only annoyed because youâre the only single guy left.â
Jungkook pouts and sits back. âTrue. Whatâs that all about? Whyâd you have to bring a super cool, amazing date to the party this year?â
Seokjinâs date, Nova, laughs. âThanks? Iâm going to take that as a compliment.â
âYou should.â Jungkook nods, then faces you and Jimin. âBut seriously, you two seem very happy and Iâm glad for you both.â
Jimin blinks. âWhatâs the catch?â
âNo catch.â Jungkook casually crosses his arms. âYour current level of happiness will make it all the sweeter when I kick your ass in the playoffs this year, Park.â
When you snort-laugh, Jimin gives you a look. Said look makes you squirm against him on the sofa, though no one else seems to notice.
âYeah.â Drily, Jimin looks at Jungkook. âBecause that worked out so well for you last year.â
âOhhh,â Hoseok calls, entering the room with Jisoo on his arm. Sheâs noticeably pregnant, with a due date next month. âHe got you there, Kook. Remember when you lost and now, you and Jimin are tied for Stanley Cup wins?â
Jungkook stares at him blankly. âHm, no. Donât recall.â
The entire room laughs, conversation shifting to topics other than the NHL. Squeezing Jiminâs thigh, you snuggle closer and rest your head on his shoulder.
âI am, though,â he murmurs.
You glance upward. âYou are what?â
âHappy.â Jimin meets your gaze. âHappy you gave me a second chance. Happy to choose you, again and again.â
Breath hitching, your fingers tighten in his. âEasiest choice Iâve ever made.â
Š kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
Authorâs Note:Â thank you so, so much for reading! HAPPY HOLIDAYS to anyone who celebrates!
1K notes
¡
View notes
Okay. Okay. Okay. *deep calm breaths* âTHIS IS SO INCREDIBLY GOOD, I truly donât know where to begin! The plot? The hurt/anger? Their chemistry? Their sexiness? Fuck, like everything in this is making it a beautiful masterpiece đŻđ
I really love how each of them thinks about what happened with their relationship, are working to get better, though Jimin should have been honest about his intentions for the trip, everything was just so fucking amazing đ I really loved the aspect of self reflection, seeking therapy, working through it and all thatâ really payed of for the characters!
Also, as an old cosplayer, I appreciated MC so much in this đĽš
Loved it, it was so good đ
The Ten Days of Ex-Mas (M)
Author: kpopfanfictrash
Genre: Â Holiday / Second Chance!AU / Hockey!AU
Authorâs Note: Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration with @leahsfavefics, @kithtaehyung, @yoonia, @cybrsan, and @sugaurora! Unfortunately, due to the new Tumblr text post limitation, this has to be published as two parts. Please, please interact with both! Thank you!!
Pairing: Jimin / Reader (F)
Synopsis: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend youâre still dating â and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.
Word Count: 44,416 (25K in part 1)
Rating:Â 18+
NSFW Warnings:Â oral (F), multiple orgasms (F), fingering, sex in a semi-public area (brief), breast play, spanking, masturbation (M, F), dirty talk, mention of toys
A/N: all collab fics incorporate the phrase, "the holidays aren't so bad with you around."
You should have known better than to trust Namjoon with your dating life.
Yoongi never would have put you in this situation. The more level-headed of your two best friends, Yoongi approaches matters of the heart with the same rationality he does everything else. Namjoon, on the other hand, is a great guy â who is notoriously bad at reading other people.
The number of times youâve been forced to step in and save him from phone scams is astounding. Itâs not his fault, really â Namjoon trusts too easily, which doesnât serve him well in this world. Heâs always willing to give others the benefits of the doubt, often getting himself into trouble.Â
And now you, by extension, having accepted the blind date he proposed.
Mike Davis moved into Namjoonâs building two months ago, and Namjoon has been adamant since the start that you two would hit it off.
âHe goes to all the same conventions you do,â he assured you last week on the phone.
âWhich conventions?â you asked, squinting hard at the wall. âI know youâre not big into nerd culture, Namjoon, so as an FYI â not all cons are considered equal.â
Namjoon rattled off a few youâd attended, impressing you enough to agree despite the initial disinterest. This agreement may have been spurred by tonight being the three-month anniversary of the worst break-up of your life.
Almost as soon as you sat down though, you realized your mistake. While you may have reached a point where you donât cry every time your exâs name is mentioned, the prospect of dating someone else is an entirely different matter. Getting dressed up tonight felt strange, as did traveling to the restaurant and waiting for Mike at the bar.
The fact that Mike called this a ârestaurantâ should have been your first warning sign, as Hat Trick is most definitely a sports bar â specifically, a hockey bar. Had you known (really, you should have known), you wouldnât have gone, but you were nervous and trying to make a good impression. Upon arriving, you arranged yourself awkwardly on a sticky bar stool and waited seven minutes for Mike to walk in.
Nearly an hour later, you find yourself regretting coming at all. Mike excused himself two minutes ago for the bathroom and as soon as he left, you sagged with relief.
Heâs a nice guy, you suppose. Good looking, with light brown curls and dark eyes. You can see why Namjoon thought he might be good for you â Mike is the exact opposite of your ex in many ways. Constantly frazzled, he arrived at the bar late, only to immediately duck out because he forgot to pay the parking meter. Jimin was the type who unpacked his suitcase immediately after reaching the hotel and brought several chargers in case one of them died.
Once the meter was paid, Mike sat down and launched into his entire life story. You suppose you should have been happy, since lack of communication ended your last relationship but instead, found yourself overwhelmed.Â
Mike finally paused for breath once your drinks arrived, allowing you a moment to answer his questions. The moment you mentioned running a popular cosplay TikTok channel, Mike instantly shifted from arrogant to insecure.Â
âI canât believe you came,â he exhaled with a shake of his head. âWhen Namjoon showed me your picture, I said no way youâd go out with me. Youâre way too beautiful.â
Shifting your weight, you managed to laugh. âDonât try and get me to leave, now, Mike.â
His eyes widened, not catching your sarcasm and it took several moments to get back on track. Everything since then has been downhill, so when he excused himself for the bathroom, all you felt was relief.
Digging through your purse, you pull out your phone and swipe to the group chat.
Y/N: Namjoon, WHAT possessed you to set me up with this man [7:46 PM]
Yoongiâs reply comes immediately.
Yoongi: told you it was too soon [7:46 PM]
Namjoonâs ellipses join in.
Namjoon: what! Why? What happened?? Mike didnât try something on you, did he? [7:47 PM]
Y/N: no, no â nothing like that [7:47 PM]
Y/N: he just keeps saying how *amazing* I am and how he doesnât know why Iâm on this date at all [7:47 PM]
Yoongi: dude [7:48 PM]
Y/N: EXACTLY [7:48 PM]
Before Namjoon can respond, the bartender changes the channel and an all-too-familiar name blares over the speakers. Slowly, you look up, and all thoughts of Mike fade in the face of NHL coverage.
Nope, no â absolutely not.
Leaning over the counter, you tap the bartender. âHi.â Brightly, you smile. âFirst off, could I have another glass of white wine? And then, maybe⌠could you change the channel?â
Glancing around, the guy shakes his head. âYes, to the wine, but no, the channel,â he says with a shrug. âHalf the people in here came to watch the game. Pre-show coverage is part of that.â
With an apologetic nod, he grabs a rag and disappears. Sinking back in your seat, you stare at your hands, clasped tightly on the counter. Your seat at the bar puts you in the unfortunate position of hearing each word crystal-clear.
âWell, Josh â what chance do you think the Blackhawks have tonight?â
The silver-haired announcer bobs his head. âSteve, Iâd say their chances are pretty darn good. Youâve seen this teamâs early games. Their first line is strong, especially now that Parkâs back.â
âOh, absolutely â Jimin Park has been crucial to the last couple of games. He was sorely missed last season.â
âHa! You can say that again.â
Trying to hide a wince, you clasp your hands tighter as a fresh glass of wine is set down. âThanks,â you mutter, downing half in one gulp.
Immediately, your plans for later tonight shift to accommodate a bottle of wine. Movement catches your eye and, lacking self-preservation, you look up in time for a montage of star right winger, Jimin Park, tearing his way down the ice. Shamefully, you recognize every shot because, although you broke up in September, you continued to watch every game.
âOne of the most talked about moments last year in hockey was the late check on Park by Blues player, Brent Howard,â continues the announcer, Josh. âParkâs helmet came loose when he hit the boards, and he went down hard on the ice resulting in a sprained knee and herniated a disc in his neck. A complicated surgery took him out for the remainder of the season. He only started to skate with the team again during off season conditioning.â
Hearing Jiminâs trauma recounted with such callousness, you find yourself gripping your wine glass tighter than ever.
âI donât think anyone expected Park to play again,â agrees the other announcer, Steve. âItâs a damned miracle heâs back on the ice â but to return and be this good? Park has always been one of the best right wingers in the league, but Iâd say heâs the best offensive player on the ice right now.â
âA bold claim!â laughs Josh. âBut I might just agree. Even Jungkook Jeon on the Kraken hasnât been matching Park in assists.â
âExactly! I mean, look at the numbers. Last year, the Blackhawks barely made the playoffs and now, theyâre leading the Central Division.â
âTruly amazing, given the nature of his injury last November. I donât know how familiar you are with herniated discs, Steve, but ââ
Mike slides back onto his stool. Grateful for the distraction, you turn fully to face him. Having already lived through the injury once, you have no need to reminisce. Replacing your phone in your purse, you smile gamely at Mike.
âSo,â you say, attempting to save the conversation. âNamjoon mentioned you go to conventions? What fandoms are you a part of?â
âOh.â Mike loosely shrugs. âI doubt youâve heard of any of them.â
At his dismissive tone, you stiffen. Your experience with the male side of fandom is always a toss-up. âWell, there are a lot of them. Any more mainstream?â
He considers. âMarvel?â
Stunned, you blink a few times. Marvel must be one of the biggest fandoms on the planet, let alone in the country. Even if you werenât deep in the convention circuit, youâd have heard of Marvel.
âYeah,â you say slowly. âI think Iâve heard of that.â
âCool, cool.â Mike nods. âNamjoon said you do cosplay â and showed me your TikTok! You know, youâd make a great Wonder Woman.â
You can practically feel your jaw tighten. âThatâs DC, not Marvel. But thanks.â
Silently, you add for nothing. While you love Wonder Woman and have, in fact, cosplayed her many times, men usually only request her for one reason and itâs the skimpy outfit. Whenever you cosplay as circa 2010 Wonder Woman in pants, theyâre decidedly less interested. By now, youâve learned only to pick your characters based on personal interest.
âHave you ever cosplayed?â you query.
Unbidden, your gaze slides to the TV. Commercial break. Stifling the twinge of disappointment, you refocus on Mike.
âNah.â His nose wrinkles, and your stomach sinks further. âI donât do that stuff.â
âStuff?â
Hearing your tone, his eyes widen. âI mean, itâs cool for you. I saw your TikToks and you look amazing. Iâd just look dumb,â Mike says, attempting a laugh.
Sugary sweet, you smile. âI donât know. My ex used to cosplay with me, and no one ever laughed at him.â
Admittedly, this is something of a low blow since your ex-boyfriend is Jimin Park, but either Namjoon didnât tell him who your ex is, or Mike doesnât care. Which â if thatâs the case, maybe Mike deserves more credit than you gave him.Â
âAh.â He nods, taking a sip of his beer. âHave you ever thought about cosplaying as Wonder Woman, though?â
Your smile vanishes. Then again, maybe youâve given him exactly the right amount of credit.
âI have,â you allow. âBut more recently, Iâve been cosplaying Dimension 20 characters. Itâs kind of niche, but my last character was Sundry Sidney from A Starstruck Odyssey. You know â giant machine gun arm, roller skates and a mechanical eye. Oh, and a âfuck erotica Annâ button, of course.â
Mikeâs smile freezes. âWhy⌠would you dress like that?â
âBecause itâs fun.â Finishing your glass of wine, you toss a few bills on the counter. âWell, itâs been nice meeting you, Mike, but I think weâd be better off as friends. Donât you agree?â
Even with the answer right there in the question, still he looks flummoxed.
âIâŚâÂ
âOr acquaintances,â you add, standing to pull on your pea coat. âOr nothing at all. Whatever you prefer.â
Slinging your purse on your shoulder, you wave at the bartender and start to leave. You only make it several steps before Mike mutters something beneath his breath â loud enough that you hear.
âStupid,â he mutters. âThis is why you donât date women like her, Mike.â
You come to a stop. Really, you should keep going. Common sense â and Namjoonâs HOA â depend on you being the bigger person and walking out. But your therapist has said you need to work on communicating, even when the message is something the other person wonât like.
Turning around, you tap Mike on the shoulder.
He glances upward, surprised â and then reddens, realizing you heard.
âYep, I heard,â you say shortly, retracting your hand. âWas the muttering supposed to be secret?â
Mike opens, then closes his mouth, like a fish.
âWhat did you mean, âwomen like me?ââ you inquire, folding your arms. âOnes with self-respect? Or hobbies? Women who know more about a subject than you do?â
Behind the counter, the bartender snort-laughs, rising in your esteem despite the whole TV channel thing.Â
Mike stares at you, stunned. He seems to grow a pair in that moment though, straightening to face you. âWomen with sticks up their asses,â he blurts.
Stifling an eye roll, you lean closer. âListen, Mike,â you say, placing one hand on the counter. âIf you think you can hurt my feelings â think again. Someone broke my heart three months ago, so nothing you say now will remotely compare. Do you really want to know why women like me wonât date you?â
The furrow between his brows deepens, and you take this as a sign to continue. Leaning even closer, you lower your voice.
âItâs because youâre insecure,â you say softly. âGiving someone a compliment and putting yourself down in the same sentence isnât nice, itâs awkward. Not to mention, youâre sexist,â you add, watching him stiffen. âTelling me â a two-time Comic Con trivia champion â that I wouldnât know Marvel is wild. Oh, and youâre a snob. Tabletop games are awesome, and cosplay is fun. Have a good night â I paid for your drink.â
With that, you turn around and march out the door to a smattering of applause from your new favorite bartender.Â
The moment you step outside, youâre hit by a cold gust of wind. Objectively, you should have called an Uber before your dramatic exit. Pulling free your phone, you find several missed texts from the group chat.
Ignoring them, you order an Uber and stand under the heat lamp. Scrolling to your recent calls, you punch in Namjoonâs number.
âYouâre so dead,â you declare once he answers.
Namjoon sputters loudly. âWhat â why? Is this because of the self-deprecating comments? Because I have to say, your sister does that all the time.â
âYeah, and itâs annoying,â you say as your Uber arrives. âWhy do you think I chose not to visit for Christmas?â
âUh, because sheâs obsessed with Jesus.â
âWell, that, too,â you sigh, sinking into the seat. âBut the self-deprecating comments werenât the only thing wrong. The entire date was uncomfortable. I donât know how you thought weâd be good together.â
âMike seemed fine!â
âOkay, first off â fine? You set me up with fine?â you repeat, imitating his tone. âAnd second, when I said I cosplayed, his first question was whether Iâd ever cosplayed as Wonder Woman.â
â⌠maybe heâs a fan?â
âHe thought she was Marvel.â
Namjoon exhales. âDamn. Iâm sorry, Y/N. I really thought heâd be good for you.â
Something in your chest softens. âI know,â you say, glancing out the window. âWhich is why Iâm not really mad at you. One canât be mad at the truly pathetic.â
âHey!â
âNamjoon, he said I had a stick up my ass.â
âHe said what?! Hang on, let me patch Yoongi in.â
âItâs fine, Namjoon,â you laugh, attempting to stave off any actual crimes. âReally. I learned two very important things tonight.â
âOh?â He sounds skeptical. âWhat things are those?â
âWell, number one â Iâm not ready to date.â
Reluctant, Namjoon sighs. âYoongi was right.â
âYoongi was right,â you agree.
Staring out the window, you soak in your reality. Even if Mike had been a nice guy, you still would have been counting down the minutes until leaving. Your ex-boyfriend blaring on the TV certainly helps, but even on a different channel, you would have been distracted. Still would have been comparing everything Mike did to him.
Youâve been seeing the same therapist since college, Dr. Lisa Germain. Mostly on and off, but especially during periods of turmoil in your life. Right now, you typically talk once a month although this greatly increased the month following your break-up. Dr. Lisa probably would have cautioned you about moving on so fast â or possibly she would have questioned why three months is too fast.
âIâm sorry, Y/N,â Namjoon says, dragging your thoughts back to the present. âThat sucks. What was lesson number two?â
âNumber two,â you say, as the Uber pulls to a stop outside your building. âIs Iâm never letting you set me up on a blind date again.â
Namjoon protests, but you put the phone on mute. Exiting the Uber, you enter the liquor store below your new apartment. New being relative since youâve lived here for three months. When you and Jimin ended, you decided heâd keep the apartment and youâd be the one to move out. Partly, the decision was made due to self-preservation.
The moment you left you knew you couldnât move on surrounded by memories. This may have been for naught though, since you canât seem to move on without the memories, either.
âHang on, Joon,â you say, pushing open the door. âI need to grab something from the store.â
Slipping the phone in your pocket, you grab your favorite wine and head for check-out. The ownerâs daughter, Sarah, looks up from the register.
âY/N, hi!â she gushes, setting down her magazine. âHowâs your night going?â
You give her a giant thumbs-down. âAwful. Just came back from a date.â
âWoof.â Ringing you up, Sarah shakes her head. âAt least youâre trying, I guess? You couldnât pay me to go on a date with a man.â
Your lips twitch, accepting the bag she hands you. âIn this hypothetical scenario, are you also straight?â
âGod, no.â
Laughing, you turn and head for the door. âNoted. Anyways, Iâm off to drink myself into oblivion and hopefully wake up after the holidays.â
âFingers crossed!â she yells as you exit the shop.
Shivering, you jog the remaining steps to your side door. Per usual, climbing the narrow steps steals your breath, and it takes you a moment to pull out your key.
âDid you hear all that?â you say, taking Namjoon off mute as you enter.
He makes a disgruntled sound. âI hate when you do that.â
âYou love me,â you counter, putting the phone on speaker. Shrugging free of your coat, you kick off your shoes.
Inside your kitchen, you open the fridge to survey your Britta, a carton of eggs and half a block of cheese. Shutting the door, you glance at your equally dismal counters.
âShould I actually decorate my apartment?â
âYes,â says Namjoon, and you decide to ignore him. âAre you inside?â
âYep!â you yell, standing on tiptoe to grab a wine glass.
âOkay, then Iâm going to hang up and get back to the game.â
Heart dropping towards your stomach, you turn. âGreat,â you say. âIâll just be here, trying to forget that Christmas is in ten days, and I have zero plans apart from sitting alone in my barely furnished apartment, watching bad movies, and trying not to cry the entire time.â
âI will repeat â your sister invited you over.â
âYes, and Iâll repeat.â Making a face, you uncork the bottle. âIâd rather not sit through two very long, confusing ceremonies about the birth of a Lord I donât believe in. Besides â even if I wanted to go, flight prices are crazy. I need to save up to buy a kitchen table.â
âWhat about your parents?â
Pouring yourself a large glass of wine, you shake your head. âNope. They decided to go on another cruise this year. I swear, if having fun in retirement is a contest, theyâre winning.â
Namjoon laughs. âWell, you can always come home with me. My mom would probably ask whether weâre dating again, though.â
Grin widening, you carry your wine into the living room. Plopping onto the second-hand sofa you bought from Yoongi, you flick through the channels until finding The Holiday.
âTell her what I always say â that Iâm too good for you,â you sniff. âAnd also, youâre in love with your neighbor.â
âY/N!â You can practically see Namjoonâs panicked look at his door. âNot so loud! I had you on speaker.â
Rolling your eyes, you tug your blanket up. âOh, please. She so obviously likes you â sheâs just waiting for you to make the first move.â
âBYE, Y/N!â In the background, you hear Namjoon turn on his TV. âTALK TO YOU LATER!â
âBye!â
âDonât drink too much!â
âByeee!â
Hanging up, you settle back on your pillows as Jude Law comes on screen. Seeing how easily Cameron Diazâs character makes him laugh, you feel a lonely twang. Personally, you enjoy the latter phase of romance as much as the start. Comfortable silence, knowing glances, and thoughtful requests that come from knowing someone so well.
âEnjoy it now,â you mutter at the screen, drinking deeply. âIt wonât last.â
Slumping lower, you draw your knees in. A deep sense of sadness washes over you, coaxing you closer to the fetal position. Running a finger over your blanket, you stare at the screen.
One of the things people donât say about break-ups is how long they take. For a week, the pain nauseates, a knife to your stomach each time you draw breath. Itâs there when you wake in the middle of the night, rolling over to reach for someone not there. Everything makes you think of them. Or worse, you forget them, only to remember a second later and be hit with a fresh wave of pain.
After the first week, the pain doesnât fade. You just learn to live with it, allowing it to become an ever-present companion. Last week, when Namjoon set up the blind date, you thought you could do this, only for the pain to hit, as debilitating as ever. After three months, it feels different â no longer tinged with disbelief, but full of raw realization that this is your future. Strange men and strange bars while Jimin moves on.
Instead of improving, your life feels like survival. And always, itâs shadowed by an undercurrent of pain, waiting for the moment to drag you under. Like tonight, with your horrible date, a bottle of wine and The Holiday.
Unable to stem your regret, you pour yourself a second glass and add another blanket. If tonight is about feelings, you might as well feed them fully. Prepare for the eventuality of being alone.
After all, it isnât like Jimin has reached out to you, either.
Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz. Buzzzzz.
Groggily, you roll over and open one eye. The TV is still on, the volume down low, light flickering across your wooden floor. The Holiday ended long ago, and now the channel plays reruns of a sitcom you hate.
The buzzing stops, and then starts, and you realize itâs your phone. Still groggy, you attempt to roll over â tangling partway and nearly falling to the floor. Yelping out loud, you grab the coffee table, inadvertently bringing yourself into contact with your phone.
Grasping it, you press answer. âHullo?â you rasp.
âY/N?â
Both your eyes open.
Heart hammering, you slowly sit up with one hand on the blanket. Feeling at once hot and cold, you shake your head slowly to clear away sleep. Thereâs no way the person you think is calling actually is.
âY/N? Are you there?â
Fingers trembling, you tap your screen once to see Jiminâs name light up. For some reason, you never had the strength to delete it from your numbers.
It is him. Jimin is calling, and this isnât a dream. Or if it is, itâs a particularly good one and honestly, you arenât sure you want to wake up.
Returning the phone to your ear, you grab the remote to turn down the volume. Clearing your throat, you feel the beginnings of a headache pounding at your temples. Most likely courtesy of your empty wine bottle before you.
âJimin?â
Softly, he exhales. âHey. Yeah⌠itâs me.â
A thick silence falls, and you glance out the window. Orange-yellow streetlight illuminates freshly fallen snow. The last time you spoke to Jimin was⌠well, itâs been a while. After you broke up, you had to talk a few times to arrange the movers, but once the last box had cleared, it was radio silence.
Iâm probably dreaming, you determine.
âUh, no.â Jimin clears his throat, and you realize with horror you said that out loud. âItâs really me.â
ââŚah.â
Weakly, he chuckles. âHopefully it isnât that bad to hear from me?â When you choose not to respond, Jimin exhales. âI mean, itâs not terrible for me to hear you.â
Exhaling softly, you squeeze your eyes shut. âJimin⌠what do you want?â
Of course, itâs not terrible hearing from him. Itâs the exact opposite, which is why this is bad. You worked hard to reach a point where you can sleep without him (sleeping well is another matter). Hearing Jiminâs voice, youâre terrified of slipping right back to needing him. If you ever even stopped, that is.
âWho says I want something?â
âWell, I donât know.â Casting your gaze down, you pick at your blanket. âYouâre the one calling me in the middle of the night, so⌠just tell me what you want, Jimin, so I can go back to bed.â
Something in his voice shifts. âWhy, do you have someone waiting?â
Your hand stills. âJimin, that is so not your business. Weâre not together anymore â remember?â
âOh, I remember.â
âGreat,â you huff. âThen, say this is a butt dial, so I can hang up and pretend this never happened.â
Jimin is quiet for so long, youâre forced to pull back and double-check he hasnât hung up. He hasnât, so you can only presume he has something important to say. Brow furrowing, you return the phone to your ear.
Some of your initial irritation vanishes, replaced by worry. âJimin,â you say, pushing yourself upright. âIs everything alright?â
âIâŚâ
Almost without thinking, you find yourself on your feet. Of course, you should have assumed something bad happened. Thereâs no other reason for Jimin to call. Attempting to disentangle from your many blankets, you only make it worse and bang your shin on the table.
âFuck!â you blurt, clutching your knee. âFucking shit, that hurt!â
Jimin chuckles lowly, and you freeze. Itâs been so long since hearing his laugh, you hadnât realized the hole the sound fills in your chest.
âYouâre not hurt, are you?â he asks.
âNo,â you mutter, straightening when you remember your reason for haste. Shoving the blanket aside, you head for the door. âAre you okay? Iâm still kind of tipsy, but I can call a cab and come over. Is it your neck?â you demand, grabbing your keys. âDid something happen to you during the game tonight?â
Mentally, you curse yourself for not watching. When you got home, you made a point of not turning on that channel. Every other game this season youâve watched except this one, and of course, this is the one where Jimin gets hurt, and â
âWhoa, whoa,â he blurts. âY/N, wait! Iâm okay. Iâm not injured.â
Immediately, you sag in relief â only to freeze, realizing how desperate you sounded. You broke up in September. Jimin let you leave and hasnât contacted you since. This is your first conversation since then and here you are, pretending to have some sort of claim on his personal well-being.
Dropping your keys, you sink onto the couch. âRight. Okay, right.â
âSorry⌠for making you think that I was.â
Rubbing your forehead, you glance out the window. âJust⌠say why youâre calling so I can go back to sleep.â
âRight.â Jimin pauses. âSo, hereâs the thing. Remember how my contract expired at the end of last season? And the team only agreed to a new one-year contract because of my injury?â
âYes, Jimin. We broke up three months ago, not three years.â
âAnyways,â he says, breezing past your snark, âdiscussions are ongoing to extend my contract.â
âOkayâŚâ
âYou probably havenât been watchingâ â when he says this, you shift uncomfortably â âbut the season is going well. The team⌠well, they want to extend my contract three years.â
Frowning slightly, you pick at the blanket. âCool. Congratulations.â
Truthfully, all you can think about is why he decided to call and tell you this. Surely, there must be someone else in Jiminâs life to share things with by now. This thought pierces a shattered piece of your heart, but you push past it.
âYeah,â Jimin says. âWell, the thing is⌠Iâm heading home for Christmas next weekend. Before I sign an extension, I need to tell my parents.â
Despite yourself, you wince. âAh.â
Ah is an understatement. When Jimin was injured last year, it ushered in a stressful period. Heâd been hurt before on the team, but never like this. Always, the teamâs doctors patched him up and shoved him back on the ice with minimal consequences. Like the sports commentators said, when Jimin was injured last year, his career faced uncertainty.
A herniated neck disc is bad under normal circumstances, but for someone whose livelihood is their body, itâs downright terrifying. After seeing a bevy of doctors, Jimin realized he needed surgery. Fairly invasive surgery, with at least a six-month window for recovery. Jimin was told heâd definitely be out for the season, and that possibly heâd skated for the last time.
Last year held a lot of uncertainty, moments when Jimin wavered between fear and positivity. Through everything, you tried to provide support, but this wasnât the case with everyone in his life. His parents were supportive about the surgery but wanted Jimin to quit hockey. Theyâd always been wary of the profession, although they ultimately supported what Jimin wanted. Last year changed their perspective.
You witnessed his mom flat-out beg him to quit several times. Jimin had played in the NHL for six years already and was a Stanley Cup champion. They didnât understand what else Jimin wanted, but in your opinion, Jimin didnât need anything. He was a hockey player, plain and simple. Asking him to stop was unfathomable.
His parents backed off once Jiminâs contract was extended for only a year. Jimin promised heâd reconsider whether to continue this fall.
âShit,â you mutter.
âExactly.â His tone is heavy. âShit.â
You hesitate, drawing your blankets up to your chin. âIâm sorry, Jimin, but⌠I still donât see what this has to do with me.â
âRight. So, hereâs the thing. You see, I havenât actually⌠I mean, it never really came up, soâŚâ
Understanding slowly dawns. âJimin,â you say. âWhat didnât come up?â
His line muffles until he reappears, inhaling deeply. âRight, so. I⌠havenât told my family that we broke up.â
Loud ringing fills your ears.
âYou⌠what?â
âI was just so â busy, in the fall. We broke up right when the season started, and I was juggling practice and therapy, and then we ended and I just⌠I donât know! I didnât tell them. I kept putting it off, saying itâd be better to tell them in person, but now⌠I donât know, Y/N,â he exhales. âI donât have a good answer for you, Iâm sorry.â
Gripping your phone, you stare at the ceiling. On the one hand, you donât blame Jimin for putting off this conversation. Every phone call you had to explain the break-up was awful. Your sister cried and insisted on flying out, but her house was being renovated and you insisted she stay. Namjoon and Yoongi were somehow worse. Jimin hadnât done anything, so they couldnât bash him as a person, but they did insist heâd come to regret it. You werenât so sure.
The fact that Jimin managed to avoid this makes you irrationally angry. Just like when you were dating, Jimin sidestepped the hard conversations.
âOkay, that sucks,â you say stiffly. âBut I still donât see what that has to do with me.â
âY/N.â Jimin exhales. âIâm going home next week without you. Iâm going to have to say we broke up, whether I want to or not. I also am crushing their dreams and saying I plan to extend my contract. My family loves you,â he adds, voice breaking. âMy dad tosses around future names for our kids. My mom keeps saying she booked the lodge for our wedding, and I really donât know whether sheâs kidding or not. How ââ
âJimin,â you rush, cutting him off. âStop.â
He ceases talking immediately, and you focus on breathing. Every word has your heart in a vice grip, squeezing out any progress made before this call. This time last year, you thought his family would one day be yours. You wanted everything Jimin is saying, and it hurts, remembering he walked away from all that.
âI⌠Iâm sorry,â he murmurs. âI know I have no right to ask this, but⌠Y/N, will you come?â
Your lips part. Jimin canât possibly mean what you think heâs saying. And even if he does mean that, thereâs no way you can accept. Youâd never recover.
âI haveto tell them about the contract,â he says, sounding tired. âThe team gave me a deadline of January, but I know they want an answer soon. Which means⌠Y/N, I canât tell them we broke up. Not yet â not now,â he adds. âI promise to explain in the new year.â
âJimin⌠I donât think I can.â
You hesitate though, and you know Jimin hears. Honestly, from the moment the words left his lips, you canât stop picturing it. The two of you broke up so fast, you never had the opportunity to grieve everything you left behind. Jiminâs family was a big part of that.
âI promise it wonât be weird,â Jimin says, and you huff. âOkay, well â I promise to make this as not weird as possible. I just⌠Iâm sorry, Y/N. This was a stupid idea.â
Chewing your lower lip, you stare out your window. You shouldnât entertain this but find that you are. The obvious answer is no. For your own sanity, and the progress youâve made â but then again, what progress? Three months of therapy and distance, and still, you break into tears at the sight of an ice skate.
Trying to date again was a bust. You canât possibly hurt less than you do now, and moreover, you genuinely care about Jiminâs family. The Parks always welcomed you in a way your own family never has.
Obviously, you love your parents. Theyâve always been good to you but are frequently absent and your sister is kind, but vastly different from you and nearly a decade older. Christmas with your family is nice, comfortable but never chaotic. Never loud, never bustling and never as warm as Christmas with the Parks.
When you broke up, you lost not only Jimin, but the future youâd built together. Itâs hard letting go of that overnight, and you wonder if a final trip would help you say goodbye. For months, youâve responded to texts from Jiminâs mom and sister, Jisoo, with some confusion, and now you know why. They had no idea you and their son broke up.
âPlease, Y/N,â Jimin says. âI know I donât deserve you saying yes, but⌠I had to ask.â
This, more than anything, convinces you to accept. Towards the end of your relationship, you were practically begging to know what he wanted. Jimin always refused. He said he didnât want to burden you with his problems, and instead, they grew in the space between you.
Hearing him ask for help stirs something deep down you thought were long buried.
âFine,â you blurt. Jiminâs end of the call goes silent, forcing you to examine the phone again. âHello?â you ask, returning it to your ear. âJimin?â
âYeah.â His voice trembles. âSorry â Iâm here. I just think I hallucinated because I thought you said yes.â
Although you roll your eyes, your lips twitch. âYou heard right, Park. Iâll do it.â
â⌠are you sure?â
âAre you seriously trying to talk me out of this?â
âNo, no!â Jimin blurts. âIâm sorry. I just â okay, cool.â He clears his throat once, then twice. âYou wonât regret this, Y/N.â
âYeah, weâll see,â you mutter.
âIâm flying home next Thursday and staying until the day after Christmas. Does that work for you, or do you already have plansâŚ?â
You shake your head. âI wasnât planning on going home this year.â
Jimin pauses, and you can practically hear all his questions. Thankfully, he chooses to ask none. âOkay,â he continues. âSo, do you want to fly together? Iâll get our tickets.â
Momentarily, you panic because you were just telling Namjoon you donât have money for a last-minute trip to visit your sister. On the other hand, you really donât want to owe Jimin anything.
âThatâs not necessary,â you say quickly. âI can get my own flight.â
âY/N.â His tone books no argument. âYouâre the one doing me the favor. The least I can do is buy your plane ticket â please.â
âWell⌠okay,â you say, knowing you donât have a choice. Dropping a huge amount of money on a last-minute flight isnât in the budget.
âI can pick you up, and we can head to the airport together next Thursday?â
Frowning, you pick at a thread of your blanket. When you were dating, Jimin was your chauffeur. Not many people have cars in the city, but he does in case the team practices further out. You also hate to drive, something he seems to recall.
âThatâs probably not a good idea,â you admit. âI can have Yoongi drive me, or something.â
âY/NâŚâ
âNo, itâs fine,â you say, sounding more confident than you feel. âOr I can take the train. Either way. You probably have practice that day anyways, right?â
âYes, but ââ
âThen itâs settled,â you declare. âWe meet at the airport. Okay?â
Sensing this to be a hard line, Jimin exhales. âAlright. Iâll email you the plane ticket tomorrow, okay?â
âOkay.â
âGreat.â He pauses. âAnd seriously, thank you. I promise Iâll make this as easy as possible. If you donât want to see my family, thatâs fine â we can say you have a big project, or something. Thatâs what I was planning to say, but my mom kept asking when you were coming and Jisoo was excited, andâŚâ
âYou just couldnât tell them,â you finish. Honestly, you understand. It hurt nearly as much as breaking up, explaining over and over to people. âI donât mind. I want to see your family.â
âOkay, well.â Jimin clears his throat. âI should probably get back to bed.â
âProbably. Talk to you later, I guess.â
âYeah.â
Thereâs another long pause while you wait for him to hang up or say something else. Neither happens, and your heart thumps louder.
âWell, goodnight,â you prompt.
âGoodnight, Y/N.â
The depth in his voice prompts a shiver as you hang up. Staring at your TV, your stomach slowly sinks as the conversation washes over you.
Jimin called.
He called you for the first time since the breakup, spoke to you (mostly) without bitterness and asked you to come home for the holidays. Which you agreed to.
Groaning, you grab a throw pillow to bury your face in the cushion. With dread, you realize this means you'll be forced to discuss the reasons why you broke up. Maybe when you wake up, this will all be a dream. A stupid, wishful dream that Jimin called and needed you.
Or rather â he needed something from you, you remind yourself as you head to bed. Needing something from you is different than needing you. And yet, you find yourself wishing they were one and the same. One short conversation and you find yourself right back where you were in September.
If you learned anything tonight, itâs that youâre not ready to date again.
And that when Jimin calls, you continue to answer.
Jimin has never been good at saying the things that matter.
Other things, heâs good at. Jiminâs classmates voted him most likely to host a talk show in high school, and his team routinely shoves him into front of the press after games. Jimin easily converses with strangers or friends, mostly due to his talent of turning the conversation on others.
Regardless of whether theyâve been friends for weeks or years, Jimin is good at making people feel connected. Once the conversation ends though, the person might look back and realize they only talked about themselves. Theyâll realize Jimin laughed, asked probing questions and avoided sharing anything personal.
This is something his therapist pointed out the week after you broke up with him. Actually â Dr. Nygard would take issue with that phrasing. You didnât break up with Jimin. You brought up a difficult conversation and asked for a break, both of which Jimin didnât want to hear.
Exhaling deeply, he tears his thoughts from the past. Shaking his head, Jimin stuffs his hands in his pockets to stare out the window. Perforated glass separates him from the curb, dulling the cacophony of outside honking. Holiday travel is in full swing, with Christmas Eve only four days away.
Shifting his weight backwards, Jimin idly hopes you bought a warmer coat. For two winters, heâs nudged you to purchase and for two winters, heâs been overruled. You promised to let him buy you a parka this Christmas, only for⌠well.
Jaw tight, Jimin glances over his shoulder. He should have insisted on driving you to the airport. He should have said a lot of things Saturday night that he didnât; Jimin has replayed the conversation often since you two hung up. Opening with jealousy probably wasnât the best. Pinning the entire idea on his family and not saying once how much he missed you, how badly he messed up â that was the biggest mistake of all.
Despite his assurances, Jimin knows this will likely end badly. Not for you, but for him.
Jimin isnât an actor, and he can only pretend for so long not to be in love with you. Even with a best-case scenario, his family wonât suspect youâre broken up, but you wonât end up together. When you return after Christmas, Jimin will go to his apartment alone.
A familiar blue SUV stops at the curb, momentarily hidden behind a throng of people. The moment they clear, Jimin spots a cat meme bumper sticker plastered across the window. Definitely Yoongi. The passenger door cracks open, only to pause. Through tinted glass, Jimin makes out the shape of your head, butâ
His entire body stiffens. Did you cut your hair?
A moment later, the door opens, and you step outside. Yoongi exits as well, heading for the trunk to pop it open. Reaching inside, he grasps your large suitcase to set on the curb. Patting him once, you immediately pull Yoongi in for a hug and Jiminâs thoughts sour.
Jimin knows Yoongi. Jimin likes Yoongi â he also likes Namjoon, your two closest friends. Theyâve even hung out without you, but right now, Jimin feels nothing but jealousy. Yoongi looks put together in a navy pea coat, glancing at the airport with noticeable suspicion. His hair is longer, curled behind his ears and multiple women on the curb are staring.
On instinct, Jimin glances at his old parka. Warmer, yes, but not as enticing.
When you pull back from the hug, Jimin realizes his fists are clenched. Shaking his head, Yoongi glances at the airport and says something you seem to disagree with, based on your expression. Brows pinched, you respond and Yoongi exhales. He hugs you once more, then shuts the trunk and heads for the driverâs side.
Jimin doesnât realize heâs staring until you start walking towards him. Whirling around, he takes a couple steps backwards to steady himself. He needs the perfect opening line. Something to break the ice, letting you know this isnât weird â something that isnât, hey, Y/N, I love you!
A hand taps his shoulder, and Jimin turns.
âHi,â you blurt, stuffing your hands in your pockets.
Youâre still wearing the same wool trench coat. This is the first thing Jimin notices, and then his brain stutters. Words flash through his mind â gorgeous, beautiful â until they refract with each other to form a single concept. You look the same and yet, different â Jimin canât quite put a finger on it. Your hair is shorter, but thatâs not causing the dissonance.
Something in his chest tightens. âHey,â Jimin blurts, the blandest opening ever uttered. So much for all his planning. âUm, how was the traffic?â
You attempt a weak smile. âHellish. What else?â
Jimin chuckles, the sound slipping past before he can stop it. Something unsteady flashes in your gaze, gone before he can dissect it.
âSo, uh.â Jimin looks at the baggage counter. âDo you want to check your suitcase, orâŚ?â
âOh. Yeah,â you say, reaching for your bag.
Before you can grasp it, Jimin swoops in to grab the handle. Wheeling it easily, he pulls this in the direction of the ticket counter. He already checked himself in, but youâll need to show your ID to the attendant for your ticket.
Quickening your stride, you glance sideways. âI could have done that.â
âI know.â Jimin flips the handle around. âBut coach said to lift weights while Iâm gone. I figure this counts.â
You snort, disguising it as a cough. âI wonât hear your judgment on this. What did you bring â a couple black t-shirts? One sweater? Meanwhile, Ihave an entire skin regimen, hair care ritual and different shoes for each outfit.â
âAnd how many outfits did you bring? You know weâre only there for four days.â
âYes, but I need nicer clothes for the evening, and the Christmas Eve party â thatâs happening, right?â you add, glancing sideways. âI assumed but wasnât sure.â
âIt is.â Jimin nods. âYou could have texted, you know.â
Your face screams disagreement. âI guess.â
Wheeling your suitcase into an empty line, Jimin pretends he didnât hear. You realize which line youâre in a second too late, stopping in your tracks halfway.
âJimin,â you hiss, grabbing his sleeve. âThis is for first class. The real line is over there.â
âI know,â he says and continues. âI bought us first class.â
Your jaw drops, hesitating another moment before rushing to catch up. The attendant at the counter greets you, taking your passport with a sincere smile. Jimin shifts his weight, subtly glancing over his shoulder. Several people in the main line have noticed their presence â one guy has even whipped out his phone.
Leaning an elbow on the counter, Jimin conceals you from view. âCharlotte,â he says lowly. âI know youâre going as fast as you can, but could you wrap things up in the next minute or so? Weâre getting some attention.â
âOf course!â she chirps, wrapping a hand around your suitcase to place on the belt. Handing over your ticket, she beams. âFirst class TSA pre-check is through those doors. Have a wonderful holiday!â
Thanking her warmly, Jimin places a hand on your lower back and guides you away. Left with only your backpack and purse, you move a lot faster towards TSA.
Still, you huff as you stare at your ticket. âFirst class â really, Jimin?â you say, removing your purse. âAnd last minute? That must have cost a fortune!â
Entering the line, Jimin places his coat on the belt. âIt was necessary,â he says. âWe were only in that line for a minute, and someone was already filming.â
Startled, you glance around, but the person is out of view. Jimin faces forward, fishing his keys and wallet from pockets to place in a tray.
In the past, Jimin didnât mind being recognized. Usually, this was accompanied by something fun, like âcongratulations on the gameâ or a request for an autograph. Occasionally people crossed a line but for the most part, recognition was good. After last year, recognition turned to cell phones shoved in his face. Angry words insisting he personally tanked the last year for the Blackhawks. Invasive questions about therapy, his return and whether heâd ever play hockey again.
Jimin started disliking the attention soon after. Placing his tray on the belt, he hears a loud gasp behind him.
âNo way!â someone blurts. âIs that â oh my god, are you Jimin Park?â
Fumbling slightly, Jimin starts to feel clammy â until your hand appears, steadying his elbow.
âNo photographs,â you say brightly. âMr. Parkâs exclusive photography rights are owned by the Blackhawks, and as their legal representative, I will sue for payment. Phones down. Thank you.â
With an iron grip, you steer Jimin towards the x-ray machine, where he shudders a breath.
âThanks,â Jimin mutters, shaking his head.
âNo problem.â Realizing youâre touching, you swiftly withdraw. âI didnât realize⌠well, I know things were intense. I didnât know theyâd gotten worse.â
âA little,â Jimin says, and then pauses. âI had to move.â
âWhat?â You glance at him, startled. âTo where?â
âI ââ
Leaving the line at security, Jimin realizes the couple behind you are following. Jerking his chin to the left, he silently points them out and sees your face darken. Subtly, you move closer and lower your voice.
âWhat now?â you ask.
âOh my god!â Someone else gasps. âIs that Jimin Park?!â
âRun,â Jimin blurts, grabbing your hand.
Your fingers curl around his, something thereâs no time to linger on while plunging into the crowd. Still holding hands, you weave between people and suitcases. Most donât even attempt to stop you, too busy worrying about their departure time. Thatâs one thing Jimin likes about airports. Everyone is usually in a rush, not just celebrities.
It doesnât take long to lose their pursuers, arriving at the lounge in record time. Smoothly, the doors open to admit your entrance. Handing over his ticket, Jimin is forced to withdraw his hand, something he does with great reticence. Worse, you take a pointed step away as you enter the elevator.
Doors open on the second floor, revealing the lounge reserved for first class. Most of the chairs are empty or populated by aging businesspeople, spurring an exhale of relief from Jimin.
Spotting the well-stocked bar, you drop your backpack and head in this direction.
âI need a drink,â you mutter as you pass.
Sensing you need alone time, Jimin elects not to follow. Instead, he sinks into the chair beside yours and folds his parka in two. Stupidly, he decided to check most of his things in his suitcase. The only entertainment he has for the long flight is his phone.
Returning to the seat beside him, you take a large sip from a glass of red wine.
Jimin watches you curiously. âWhat were you arguing about with Yoongi?â
The words slip past before he can stop them, although inward, he cringes. Jimin is supposed to convince you heâs different, show you things have changed, and instead, his first observation is jealousy.
Your gaze cuts sideways. âHe thinks Iâm being stupid,â you say. âAnd I have to admit, heâs not wrong.â
âStupid for⌠coming with me for the holidays?â
Rueful, you nod. âWell⌠Iâm embellishing somewhat. Yoongi just said this is a bad idea. I added the stupid part.â
âAh,â Jimin says, falling silent.
Honestly, both of you are probably right. Since leaving the car, nothing has gone to plan. Jimin was supposed to wow you with how together he is. Show you heâs trying to communicate his feelings. Apologize for everything that went wrong in September. Instead, heâs done nothing but fumble and appear slightly out of control.
Being around you though, drags him right back to that night. Crisp air, as he came home from practice after two weeks apart. Jiminâs entire body ached, having left physical therapy after hours of practice. When he walked in and saw you seated at the kitchen table, Jimin just knew.
He knew whatever you said, things wouldnât stay the same.
Shaking his head, Jimin ends that thought in its tracks. Thereâs no point ruminating on the past. All he can do now is move forward.
You showed up. Thatâs a start.
Leaning forward, Jiminâs knee brushes yours. Immediately, you stiffen and Jiminâs gaze lifts. âI am sorry for making you do this,â he says. âBut I canât lie, I'm glad you agreed, even if Yoongi is right and this is a bad idea.â
âI know.â Your gaze darts towards him. âThatâs partly why I agreed.â
Jimin tilts his head, curious, and you sigh.
âNever mind,â you mutter, lifting your glass.
Sensing he wonât get an answer, Jimin spreads his legs and looks out the window. Technically, the Blackhawks are playing tonight, but his coach insisted he sit this game out. Last weekend, Jimin was slammed roughly into the boards. Nothing bad happened, just a bruised tailbone, but apparently, his coach saw the entire season flash before his eyes. Jimin has been allowed to practice but not play until after Christmas. Better than having him out during the playoffs, argued his coach.
Picking up his phone, Jimin scrolls through his texts, then sets it back down. He doesnât know why he bothered â only a handful of people have his real number, and the only person whose message he wants is seated beside him.
Turning to face you, Jimin clears his throat. âWe should talk about this weekend,â he says, arranging himself in the seat.
âAlright.â Leaning forward, you set down your glass. âWhat about?â
âI donât know.â Jimin blinks. âDonât you want to know what weâre doing?â
You shrug, and the faintest of irritation colors his thoughts. God, it hurts just to see you. To have you so close and not be able to touch you. Not to be able to say how he feels. Worse, these feelings are tinged with bitterness, recalling the hurtful words you said as you left. Jimin does his best to separate the past from the present, but heâs only human.
âWe wonât get there until late tonight,â he says stiffly. âWe have a connection from Seattle, and then Iâll get the rental car.â
Nodding, you take a light sip of your wine. âSounds good.â
âTomorrow, weâll probably rest at the house. Hoseok texted something about the twins wanting to make gingerbread houses, but he was trying to get out of it.â
Your lips tighten. âOkay.â
âSaturday, my mom mentioned going to the Christmas market. Itâll be in full swing, but Iâm sure itâll be fine.â
âIâm sure it will.â
He leans closer. âSunday is the Christmas Eve party.â
âOkay.â
âThen Monday, itâs Christmas.â
âYep.â
âTuesday, weâre all doing the polar plunge in the lake.â
âSure thââ You whip your head sideways. âWait, what?â
Jimin smirks and sits back. âJust checking.â
âChecking what?â Scowling, you finish your wine. âIf I was listening? Turns out, I was.â
âYou gave one-word answers.â
âAnd?â Briskly, you set down the glass. âJimin. This is basically the first time weâve spoken since we broke up. How do you want me to act? Itâs hard enough seeing you without⌠without all this pretending.â
Jiminâs heart sinks. âPretending?â
âTo date.â Your gaze darts to his, then away. âWhy? What did you think I meant?â
âNothing.â He hesitates. âI know. Iâm sorry. I justâŚâ Jimin hesitates before reluctantly choosing the cowardâs way out. âMy family will never believe this if we arenât at least cordial.â
You frown at the empty wine glass, then slowly exhale, and turn sideways to face him.
âFine.â You fold your arms over your chest. âLetâs declare a truce.â
âA truce?â
You jerk your chin in a nod. âYes. We pretend the last three months didnât happen. Maybe we went through a rough patch, but nothing more. I never moved out. You never asked to break up.â
Heat flares up his spine. âI think you meant, you never asked for a break.â
âA truce,â you grind out, each word sounding painful. âOkay?â
âFine.â
As much as he missed you, Jimin knows there are things to discuss. How you two ended, for one. The reason neither of you called, for another. Each small hurt compounded, becoming insurmountable until he couldnât separate you from the rest. Thereâs so much to discuss â but Jimin canât quite wrap his mind around the fact that youâre here.
He missed your intensity, that look in your eye when you know youâre right. Take now, for example. A tiny, prideful part of Jimin hoped that once you arrived, this all would be solved. He shouldâve known better. Dr. Nygard would have cautioned him to know better. Time doesnât solve anything; it just dulls the pain.
Before Jimin can say anything more, a monotone voice announces your gate is boarding. Panicked, you bolt upright and reach for your backpack. Fighting a smile, Jimin stands as well, grabbing your purse from the ground where you left it.
Following you to the elevators, he wordlessly hands it over when the doors open.
âOh!â you blurt, accepting this from his hand. âI couldâve sworn â shit. Thanks, Jimin,â you murmur, facing away.
Jimin nods and stands beside you, ignoring the pang of familiarity this brings. He canât count the number of times you left your phone or your wallet behind while you were dating. Despite your brilliancy, mundane things like purse or coat placements seldom seem to occur to you. Almost like you exist on a separate plane, one which only occasionally overlaps with this one.
The airport beyond is in full holiday swing. Jimin navigates as quickly as possible, reaching your gate as first class is boarding. Flashing your tickets, he falls into step alongside you as you head down the long walkway.
Jimin takes the window seat, while you take the aisle. Many vacations have taught Jimin that this is the ideal combination. You hate being cold, and without fail, will use the bathroom one hour into the flight.
Although you donât say much as you taxi, you also donât bicker â which Jimin supposes is positive. Once the plane is in flight, you take out an eye mask and make a vampiric attempt at sleeping upright. Lips twitching, Jimin orders a glass of whiskey and opens the novel app on his phone.
Heâs midway through a chapter when your head, soft and heavy, falls on his shoulder. Surprised, Jimin looks down and immediately stills.
Even asleep, youâre beautiful.
Jimin nearly laughs, imagining your expression were he to ever say that. Youâd call him a liar, saying youâre well-aware you drool when you sleep. Despite this, your expression is peaceful. The crease between your brows has lessened and dimly, Jimin wonders if he was the cause.
Idly, he reaches out to smooth a piece of hair from your neck. Fingers freezing, Jimin jerks his hand back and wonders what the hell heâs doing.
He used to be able to simply ask why youâre stressed, and youâd tell him. Jimin supposes he stopped being that person long before you broke up, though. The year after his accident, he had a hard time expressing the full depth of his pain. It wasnât until later he realized the ripple effect this had on his life. People wonât confide in someone who doesnât confide in them. As Dr. Nygard often says, trust works both ways.
Leaving your head on his shoulder, Jimin returns to his phone and tries to read. Itâs a five-hour flight from Chicago to Seattle, and he spends this entirety reading less than fifty pages.
Partly, Jimin is distracted by your proximity and your fancy shampoo. Partly, heâs obsessing over what to say to his parents when he lands. With you here, thereâs nothing to think about except the upcoming conversation.
Growing up, his parents never wanted him to play hockey. Jimin was put in the sport begrudgingly when his best friend, Jungkook, begged his parents for lessons. As the years passed and it became clear Jimin was talented, his parents were resigned but worried. Jimin canât really blame them.
Hockey is dangerous. Jimin knows this firsthand, even if it wasnât made obvious by the amount of gear players wear. It was hard enough, recovering from an injury without having to convince his main supporters the profession was worthwhile. For a long time, Jiminâs life felt like an endless cycle of doctors, surgeons, therapists and arguing.
Some experts doubted heâd ever play again, sending him into a spiral. Traumatic incidents often spark anxiety or depression, Dr. Nygard explained. For a while, Jimin didnât know how to talk â to you or to anyone â about what happened that day. He was a hockey player, for Godâs sake. He should have been used to getting injured, but last November was different.
Never had Jimin fallen and not been sure heâd get up. Shakily, Jimin exhales and glances down at your face.
The week you left, Jimin hit his rock bottom. It may not have looked that way to everyone, but to Jimin, it was the first time he saw he wasnât in control. After the requisite therapy by his team, Jimin stopped going. He found a new therapist after you left, searching for a new doctor who really cared.
Now, Jimin knows there are no easy fixes. Self-change is a purposeful effort that takes sustained work. At least now, he feels equipped for the process. Before you left, he felt unworthy of change and so, he pushed you away.
When you gently snore, Jimin glances down. Hiding his smile, he reaches across you to adjust your blanket. Slowly, he withdraws and his smile fades. Before you arrived, Jimin had a plan. Said plan involved him getting on his knees and begging you for forgiveness, but everything changed when he saw your face.
You donât trust him.
And really, why would you? The truth is, Jimin shut you out for months before you finally sat down and asked for a break. And his immediate response was you might as well break up.
Releasing a breath, Jimin sits back in his seat. For the rest of the flight, he tries not to think about what comes next. The work he must put in to earn your forgiveness. Instead, he simply enjoys the weight of your head on his shoulder.
When the wheels hit the ground, youâve dozed for nearly four hours. Groggily, you lift your head as the plane lights come on.
âI â oh!â you blurt, jerking upward. âIâm so sorry,â you gasp, staring at a spot on his shoulder. âI didnât mean to fall asleep.â
âPar for the course.â Jimin attempts a joke, and you manage to smile.
People crowd the aisles, and Jimin pulls you past them to exit first. Your connecting flight is on the opposite side of the terminal, forcing you to jog to make it in time. Seattle is the closest major airport to home, but if time is tight, a smaller flight is usually worthwhile. The drive to Garland, Washington can be upwards of five hours with traffic.
The second flight you take is small. Small enough to board directly from the tarmac. Jimin watches your suitcases brought onto the plane and exhales, knowing this is an eighty-twenty chance of success.
Approaching the stairs, he takes your backpack in one hand.
âI can take that, Jimin,â you say lowly.
âI know.â He ducks his head as he boards. âBut from here on out, Iâm your boyfriend â right? Itâd be weird to let you carry your bags.â
Shaking your head, you follow him up the steps. âYour family isnât even here, Jimin.â
Walking down the aisle, Jimin locates his seat and sinks down with your backpack. Carefully, he stows this beneath the seat before him.
âNo,â he says as you sit beside him. âBut everyone here is headed to Garland. Canât hurt to start now, can it?â
âI guess not.â Setting your purse down, you turn sideways. âWhat am I walking into, anyways?â
âWhat do you mean?â
Aimless, you wave. âYou mentioned a rough patch between us. Do they think that weâre fighting? Why⌠I mean, how have you been explaining my absence? Havenât they noticed I havenât been at your games?â
Jimin glances down, feeling queasy. âWell, thatâs easy,â he mutters. âThey havenât been watching, so no, they havenât noticed your absence. Iâve been avoiding my family, telling them that Iâm busy. They probably suspect weâre having problems,â Jimin admits. âBut I said you were coming, and they all seemed excited.â
When you say nothing, Jimin glances over and finds your brow furrowed.
âThey havenât been watching your games?â you ask.
âCan you blame them? My mom⌠she said she didnât want to watch me get hurt again.â
Your lips press together, and Jimin can sense your disapproval. The night of his accident, you were there, in the crowd. If anyone understands the horror of watching, it would be you. And yet, you accompanied him in the ambulance, sat with him in every waiting room, brought him changes of clothes and new books to read.
âHm,â you murmur, facing forward.
Jiminâs lips twitch. âCome on,â he says, poking you lightly. âWhat do you really want to say?â
You inhale deeply, and Jiminâs gaze drops to the front of your sweater. Dragging his eyes upward, he focuses on your mouth. No, no â your eyes.
Which flick to him. âThey should be watching. Thatâs all.â
âOh, right,â Jimin chuckles, settling back in his seat. âYou mean, like youâre watching?â
Before you can say anything, the in-flight safety demonstration starts, and you shake your head and sit back. Jimin stares at your profile, wondering for a moment before he lets it go. Lord knows he checks your Instagram account multiple times a day.
The second flight is shorter, barely reaching cruising altitude before the seatbelt sign is back on for landing. Garland Regional Airport is only big enough for a handful of gates, a single baggage carousel, and a rental car agency. The hour is late enough for no line, and Jimin selects the only SUV remaining on the lot.
You insist on pulling your gigantic suitcase yourself, nearly tripping several times in reaching the car. Gritting his teeth, Jimin forcibly stops himself from trying to help. Even when you were dating, you insisted on reaping the consequences, saying you were the one who made your decisions.
With the suitcases loaded, Jimin enters the driverâs side and plugs in his phone. Service through the mountains is iffy, so itâs a good idea to download the map here. Opposite him, you crank the seat heater higher, wrapping your thin coat tight around your frame.
Gritting his teeth, Jimin loses his battle with self-control. âHere,â he declares, unwrapping his scarf. âTake this.â
You go still when he drapes this over your neck. The tips of Jiminâs fingers brush skin, and he thinks he sees you shiver. Likely, from the cold. Pulling away before his thoughts can run amok, Jimin places both hands firmly on the wheel. Yanking down the visor, he checks behind him, then does absolutely nothing.
Silence ticks by in the car, his heartbeat outrunning the holiday music.
âHey.â When you touch his arm, Jimin nearly jumps. Glancing sideways, he finds your expression to be gentle. âItâs going to be fine. Okay?â you say. âI promise, weâll get through this.â
Jimin narrows on your use of the word we, which gives him the strength to nod and face forward. Avoiding his parents wonât solve anything. Just like avoiding talking to you didnât do him any favors.
Putting the car in reverse, Jimin pulls from the airport and merges onto the road. Garland being the tiny town that it is, the airport road soon transitions to a dirt one which winds its way through the foothills.
The ghost of your handprint lingers on his arm, and Jimin canât help but hope when this weekend is over, your words will apply to more than his parents.
Bumps in the road rattle your teeth, making you latch onto the door with a death grip. You can see Jiminâs lips twitch, but barely have it in you to scowl. Heâs used to these roads, having grown up on them. You, on the other hand, rarely drive if you can help it.
Fingers gripping the handle, you stare out the window at a sea of snow. Despite the carâs bouncing, the fields beyond it are serene. Garland, Washington is just on the other side of the Cascade Mountain range, near the Canadian border. This part of America always amazes you, especially being from the Midwest. In Chicago, everything is flat except for the skyscrapers, and maybe the staircases leading to upper Wacker.
In the West, you can drive past acres of land, only to be surprised by the sharp jut of mountains on the horizon. So tall they seem close from miles away, with rolling foothills at the base where Garland is nestled. The first time you came, you called the hill where his family lives a mountain and Jimin laughed so hard, he nearly walked into a door.
Remembering this, your lips canât help but twitch. Glancing sideways, your amusement fades as your gaze lands on Jimin. Unfair of him, showing up this weekend looking like that. When you realized it was Jimin in the window of the airport, you almost tripped and fell over your gigantic suitcase.
His dark hair is longer than usual, curling a little behind reddened ears. Even with his gigantic parka, you can tell his fitness routine has amped up. As a hockey player, Jimin is contractually obligated to stay in shape, but this is something else. He even had the gall to put on reading glasses before the flight, something which necessitated your sleep mask â and promptly fall asleep, only to drool on his shoulder.
Cringing again, you force your gaze forward. If Jimin was feeling sentimental, thereâs no doubt heâs regretting this vacation now. In fact, there have been several times today you wondered if Jimin was contemplating sending you home. Not that youâd blame him. This idea is terrible at best, but now youâve committed. If Jimin wants you to go, heâll have to ask you himself.
Something heâs proven he has no problem doing.
Stiffening, you drag your thoughts from the past. You only need to make it one weekend. One weekend, and then you can â well. Thinking too much of the future is dangerous. Yoongi and Namjoon were right in their caution, warning you not to come. Not for the reasons one might think. They like Jimin, and have always thought him a good guy, but they were the ones who saw you after. They were the ones who picked up the pieces when he left, and you know theyâre afraid youâll shatter again.
Hell, youâre afraid you might shatter and yet, here you are. Speeding down a dark road in the country at night. A metaphor oddly related to the state of your heart.
Hitting a bump, the car jostles again and Jimin reaches for you on reflex. Gaze darting towards you, he swiftly withdraws, brushing his scarf in the process.
âSorry,â he says.
âItâs okay,â you mumble, sinking lower. As circumspect as possible, you take a deep breath. Jiminâs scarf smells just like him â black pepper and cedar, with the faintest hint of pine.
Rounding the bend, the trees clear and his house comes into view. For the first time since the airport, a frisson of excitement enters your stomach. You never really understood the appeal of the holidays until the Parks. Although theyâre not religious, they truly adore the cultural Christmas spirit. Each time you visit, youâre surrounded by the feeling of home, love, and family.
When you and Jimin ended, you thought youâd never feel like that again. This weekend â and what comes next â might be worth it, if only to feel that once more.
Pulling to a stop in the drive, Jimin unplugs his phone and turns off the car. He hesitates a long moment before turning sideways.
âOkay,â he says. âIs there anything I should know before we go in there?â
You blink. âLike what?â
âLike, I donât know.â Jimin lowers his voice, a dark piece of hair falling over his forward. âAny projects youâve been working on â cool cosplay for your socials?â
His words make you swallow, struck by the reminder that he isnât yours. For a moment, you nearly forgot.
âUm.â Searching, your gaze is drawn by the lights of the house. âNothing much. I have a few demanding clients, but thatâs pretty normal. Fantasy High season three is coming out, so Iâve been brushing off Dimension 20 cosplay. What about you? Howâs training?â
Jimin frowns. âGood. Bruised my tailbone last Sunday, so Iâm sitting out games for the next two weeks. I bought a new apartment.â
âYou what?â Startled, you fully face him. Inside the house, you think you see shadows cross the front window, but that fades in importance. âYou â when? Where are you living now?â
Jimin slides his phone in his parka. âItâs not a big deal,â he mutters. âI just⌠didnât need that much space.â
He pauses, the words lingering but he doesnât say more. Shutting your jaw, you face forward. After four years of dating, youâre familiar by now with Jiminâs many silences. This one means he has more to say but canât fathom how.
The center of your chest feels hollow, stale in a way you canât explain. When the two of you ended, you were the one to move out, but regretted it instantly. When you lived together, you hated the way his door squeaked, the radiator that hissed, but the moment you left, it all had a rosy glow. Your one-bedroom apartment on the north side is nothing to brag about; youâve barely decorated that place for a reason.
âWest Loop,â Jimin answers.
Your eyes widen. âWell⌠thatâs fancy.â
Accusation laces the words, and you donât try to hide it. Jimin used to make fun of his teammates who lived in fancier parts of Chicago.
âItâs closer to practice,â he argues. âAnd itâs not like ââ
The porch light turns on, and the front door flings open.
âJimin!â calls his mom, rushing outside. âY/N! Is that you?â
Head jerking up, you recognize your audience at the same time as Jimin. Slamming down walls, you do your best to paste a smile on your face. The entire reason you came here was to convince Jiminâs family youâre still together. You can hardly do that while bickering about where he lives.
âY/N,â he says lowly.
âSave it,â you blurt, pushing open the door. Immediately, you sink your foot into a snowbank. âAh!â you blurt, hopping around â only to stumble, face-first, into Jimin. Catching you easily, he shuts the door with one hand.
âThis way,â he says. Sliding his hand into yours, Jimin pulls you towards the house. Noticing your glance at the car, he adds, âMy dad and I will get the suitcases after. Letâs just say hi to my mom.â
Your foot is damp and tingling, stifling any urge you had to stay. Limping up the front steps to the porch, you reciprocate when arms are thrown around your waist. Jiminâs mom is one of the sweetest â and shortest â people youâve ever had the pleasure of meeting.
Pulling back, she holds you at arms-length. âY/N, you are just too beautiful,â she sighs. âIf I didnât know better, Iâd never believe you were on a seven-hour flight.â
Jimin chuckles, stepping past you to hold open the door. âAll seven hours werenât at once, mom,â he teases.
âAre you denying my beauty?â you quip as you pass.
His throat visibly bobs as he swallows, something you choose to ignore for the sake of your sanity. Inside, his mom leads you into the foyer.
Hands on hips, she turns. âAnd you!â she huffs, stepping forward to squeeze her son. âNot telling us until the last minute that Y/N was coming. I donât know who raised you, young man.â
Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. âNo one in this house, thatâs for sure.â
âThat was my fault,â you say as you shut the door. Removing your shoes, you set them by the coat rack. âI have a few big projects Iâm working on, so I wasnât sure I could take the time off.â
Breaking free of the hug, Jiminâs mom faces you. âWell, weâre incredibly glad to have you here, but tell us if you need a break this weekend. Even if you need to lock yourself in your room!â
âThanks, Mrs. Park,â you say sheepishly.
As you unwind the scarf from your neck, the door opens again, letting in a cold gust. Hoseok and Jiminâs dad enter, stamping their feet on the rubber mat. They must have gone out the garage to get your bags, since you recognize your giant suitcase pulled by Hoseok, Jisooâs husband.
Your stomach bottoms out. âOops â sorry!â you blurt, rushing towards him. âI was planning to get that. I know that itâs heavy.â
âWhat, this?â Hoseok jokes, pulling it over the threshold. âNah, this is light. You should see when Jisoo packs the twinsâ suitcases.â
âCareful,â Jimin laughs, hanging up his coat. âJisoo once heard me tell on her from across the house. She never lets me forget it.â
Dropping Jiminâs bag by the staircase, his dad crosses the room to hug you with one arm. âItâs so good to have you here, Y/N,â he says.
âLikewise,â you say, smiling faintly.
Setting down your suitcase, Hoseok bounds across the hall and scoops you in his arms. Hugging you tight, he imbues the scent of sugar and cinnamon. âHey, Y/N!â he says, much too loud. âItâs fucking freezing out there.â
âLanguage!â scolds a familiar voice. âY/N!â Jisoo cries, rushing forward and shoving her husband aside. Her arms wrap around you. âThank god youâre here! Thereâs so much testosterone in this house, itâs unconscionable.â
âItâs literally just me and your dad,â Hoseok points out.
Trapped in Jisooâs arms, you watch him and Jiminâs dad lug your suitcase upstairs.
âYeah, like I said â too much,â Jisoo grumbles and releases. She looks you up and down. âUgh, I agree with my mom. Why do you look hot at the airport, Y/N?â
You canât help but laugh, warmth spreading through your chest the longer you stand there. Jimin leans on the banister, watching all this with a half-smile. If this were the airport, or the plane, you could have followed your instinct to look away. All that saved you from crumbling on the flight was your ability to avoid eye contact.
Here, though â youâre supposed to be in love with Jimin. Which you are. Except you shouldnât be. Except right now, itâs okay to be and so, you look back. Locking eyes with him, you smile and Jiminâs face transforms.
He smiles so large, his eyes near-disappear, carving the hollow inside your chest even deeper. Before you can comment, tiny footsteps thunder down the long hall. Jisoo and Hoseokâs daughters, Hana and Ari, speed around the corner, catching themselves before they trip.
âUncle Jimin!â they squeal, rushing forward.
Jimin bends to scoop them both around the waist. âOh my gosh,â he groans, tossing them over his shoulders. âYou two got even bigger. Soon, youâll be taller than I am!â
âNo, we wonât,â Ari giggles, kicking in mid-air.
Hoseok pops his head down from the landing. âCareful, Jimin,â he warns. âIf they throw up down your back, thatâs on you.â
Stopping abruptly, Jimin returns them both to the ground. âDid you say hi to Y/N?â
Both whirl to face you. âY/N!â cry Hana and Ari, running forward.
Laughing, you bend and squish them both. Unlike Jimin, you donât try to lift them, but just hold them close.
The first time you came for Christmas, Jisoo was pregnant at the time. Youâve watched the twins grow from infants to the three-year-old terrors they are, and honestly, it terrifies you how quickly they age. Followed by sadness, realizing they likely wonât remember you after this trip.
Pulling back, you manage to smile. âJimin is right,â you say. âYou two are going to play basketball for sure.â
Hana giggles loudly. âNo, I wanna skate! Like Uncle Jimin!â
Behind her, Jisooâs smile disappears. Straightening, she glances in the direction of her dad, and you watch Jiminâs father turn pointedly away. He walks down the hall, and Jiminâs mom shakes her head slowly.
Ari continues, blissfully oblivious to the tension in the room. âIâm gonna be on TV, like Y/N!â
Stifling a smile, you push yourself upward. No matter how many times you explain what you do, the twins refuse to believe you arenât actually the characters you cosplay. At this point, youâve mostly given up on correcting them.
âWhat about your mom and dad?â Hoseok jokes, scooping Ari onto his hip. âDonât you want to be like us?â
âNo!â Ari yells, and Hana latches onto Hoseokâs leg.
Hoseok sighs. âShouldâve expected that.â
Hana, already a daddyâs girl, turns her face towards him. âIâll be a⌠aâŚâ
âPhysical therapist,â Jisoo stage-whispers.
âYeah!â
Chuckling, Jisoo walks over and picks Hana up. âOkay, enough of that. You were allowed to stay up for Uncle Jimin and Y/N, but now itâs time for bed. Goodnight, everyone!â she calls, heading down the hall. âWeâll see you tomorrow!â
You smile, stifling a yawn as Jisoo and the twins leave. The hour is late, a fact Jiminâs mom seems to realize at the same time.
âSilly me,â she laughs, half-turning. âHave you eaten yet? I have leftovers, or I could whip something up?â
âWe ate on the flight,â you respond. âBut thank you so much.â
Jimin nods, appearing by your side and slipping a hand to your elbow. âYeah, thanks, mom. But itâs been a long day of travel. I think weâre just going to head to sleep.â
âOf course, of course.â His mom waves you off. âDarling, will you help them with the bags?â she asks as Jiminâs dad re-enters.
âOh, thatâs not necessary ââ
âThereâs no use, Y/N,â Jimin says, grabbing your purse as his dad steps in.
Jiminâs dad is a kind, soft-spoken man â much like Jimin, he prefers to let others talk rather than state his own feelings. The fact that he specifically said he didnât want Jimin to play, you know, impacted Jimin far more than heâd like.
Following them upstairs, you find yourself ensconced in memories. Much like Ebenezer Scrooge, Christmases of long ago rise the further you walk. Mid-way down the hall, your stomach drops when you realize something important.
Entering the door at the end, Jiminâs dad leaves it open. âThe roomâs been made up,â he calls over his shoulder. âPlenty of towels under the sink but let us know if you need more. Letâs see⌠thereâs toothpaste, shampoo, and conditioner if you forgot any.â
You come to a sudden stop, forcing Jimin to walk directly into you. He stumbles, steadying himself with one hand on your back.
âY/N.â Jimin lowers his voice. âAre you alright?â
âIâŚâ The words stick in your throat. âYeah. Itâs just⌠nothing.â
In the center of the room is a single, Queen-sized bed. Somehow, in all your imaginings, you never actually pictured the sleeping arrangements. Every other visit, sharing Jiminâs childhood bedroom-turned-guest room was fine. Now though, you find yourself wondering how this will work.
Setting down Jiminâs suitcase, his dad straightens and dusts off his hands. âWell,â he says, turning around. âIâll leave you two to settle in. Call if you need anything, alright? So happy youâre here, Y/N,â he adds before stepping outside.
The door closes behind him with a soft click.
After a moment of silence, Jimin crosses the room. He bends to unzip his suitcase and suddenly, youâre overwhelmed with memories. Jimin has always been the type who unpacked as soon as you arrived, whereas youâd live out of your suitcase if you could. Sometimes, you had pity and unpacked with him, while other times, you mercilessly waited and watched him squirm.
The second option seems rife with turmoil, so instead, you drag your giant suitcase aside and unzip. Pulling clothes from a rumpled mess, you grab hangers from the closet to put them away. When you turn around, you catch Jimin watching, crouched beside his suitcase.
His gaze tracks your movements. âYou donât have to unpack, you know.â
âI know.â Grabbing another hanger, you lift a shirt. âI want to.â
âOkay.â
âBesides,â you add, your panic shifting to irritability. âItâs not like I expect you to help anymore. Weâre not together.â
âI know.â Jimin is quiet for a moment. âIâd help if you wanted me to.â
Pressing your lips together, you stop yourself from saying something embarrassing. âMaybe we need ground rules,â you blurt as you turn.
Slowly, Jimin rises. âWhat type of ground rules?â
âYou know.â Desperate, you cast your gaze elsewhere. âLike, obviously weâre not going to⌠sleep together this weekend.â
âIn that bed?â
âIn any way,â you hiss.
Lifting a brow, Jimin moves closer. It takes everything in you not to meet him halfway. Instead, you tilt your chin upward as he stops before you.
âI donât want to do anything you donât want to do,â he agrees.
This only serves to worsen your mood. Of course, Jimin would turn this back on you. âI need to know how to act this weekend,â you demand.
âAct⌠like yourself.â
âAnd when weâre alone?â you ask. When he doesnât respond, you continue, âI think we should only pretend to be a couple around your family.â
The furrow between his brows deepens. âFine.â
âAnd agreed to your first rule â no sleeping together.â
A muscle in his jaw tics. âFine,â Jimin repeats. âI can sleep on the couch.â
Your gaze darts to the worn loveseat shoved under the window. For a moment, you hesitate, since it barely looks large enough to fit Jimin lying down. The thought of him sleeping beside you in the same bed though, is dangerous enough that you nod.
âOkay,â you say.
âAnything else?â
His words are layered with challenge and, hearing this, your gaze narrows. Some of Jiminâs amiability has vanished, leaving behind a version of Jimin you used to enjoy. Not that you ever made him mad on purpose, but Jimin is rarely as honest as when heâs angry. Usually, heâs so concerned with people liking him, it can take immense anger to say what he thinks.
When heâs mad though, the façade slips. Like now â each mild annoyance and irritation is clear on his face. Jiminâs lips twist, his jaw set in a way that sends a thrill down your spine. Oddly enough, you revel in being able to get beneath his skin. It means you affect him, no matter how small.
âPhysical contact is fine,â you say, lifting your chin. âKissing is not.â
âOh?â Jimin murmurs, tilting his head. âYou think my family wonât be suspicious if we donât kiss the entire time youâre here?â
âFine,â you amend. âKissing should be kept to a minimum, though. And no tongue.â
âSuit yourself. Anything else? Last chance to add, before the weekend starts.â
Jimin has moved close enough that you stand nose-to-nose and for a moment, youâre consumed by the urge to close the distance. To dig your fingers into his hair, crush your mouths together and allow him to consume you.
The thought of what comes next is enough to deter you. Deflating, you take a step around him.
âNo,â you say softly. âThatâs it. Iâm getting ready for bed.â
Grabbing your toiletry kit, you head for the bathroom. Jimin doesnât try to stop you, but you see he remains where he stands as you shut the door. Setting down your bag, you turn on the faucet and grip the counter. Tears burn your eyes, but you blink them away.
You may have made the wrong decision in coming here. Yoongi and Namjoon were right â how can you possibly sit here, pretending nothing happened and return Tuesday to your tiny apartment? Being around Jimin is one hundred times worse than being alone. All you can think about is when you were together, if you were together â
Groaning aloud, you turn. Opening the linen closet, you select a hand towel and go through your night routine as fast as possible. Five more days, you remind yourself while brushing your teeth. You only have to make it for five days.
Turning off the sink, you exit the bathroom and realize you might have been wrong. Five days is an eternity.
Jimin sits on the edge of his sofa, legs spread while scrolling aimlessly through his phone. He isnât wearing a shirt and for a moment, all you can see is hard muscle. A clearly defined v disappears beneath flannel pants, making your mouth water.
In a moment of true inconvenience, he looks up while you stand there, mouth agape.
Immediately, his eyes widen when he sees you.
Glancing down, you recall the reason why, and your face starts to heat. Jimin bought you this pajama set two years ago for Christmas â purposefully scandalous, made with silk shorts so short theyâre practically underwear. On a whim, you packed only revenge sleepwear â something you simultaneously regret and revel in now, seeing the look on his face.
âGoodnight,â you squeak, practically flinging yourself across the room and into bed. Reaching out, you turn off the light and burrow under the covers as quickly as possible.
Each sound in the room seems louder than normal. Jiminâs feet hit the floorboards, then he flicks the bathroom light on, shutting the door with a squeak of the hinges.
More sounds follow. The shower turns on, the curtain is pulled back, and Jimin steps inside as droplets of water hit his naked chest â
âOh my god,â you moan, turning to muffle your face. âY/N, get a grip.â
No one answers, unsurprisingly, and you stifle the sounds of the shower with your pillow. Although you expected to lie awake for hours, the exhaustion of the day slips over you easily. By the time Jimin returns, youâre mostly asleep.
You think you hear him say your name, imagine warmth on your forehead and then, nothing. Sleep claims you until daylight.
The next morning, Jimin is awoken by dull pain from his tailbone. Rolling over, he catches himself a split-second before he falls from his bed â which is to say, the old couch in his bedroom. Flopping onto his back, Jimin stares at the ceiling. An unassuming crack splinters above him, spiderwebbing towards the door in dramatic fashion.
No one seems to be up yet, so Jimin attempts to fall back asleep. Heâs nearly succeeded when a knock sounds at the door. Jimin doesnât stir, simply staying put.
âJimin? Y/N? Are you up?â
Hearing the voice, Jiminâs eyes fly open. Shit. His mom is at the door, and if Jimin knows his family at all, he knows a forced entry is imminent.
Bolting upright, Jimin stumbles off the couch, one foot tangling in the blanket he slept in. Scooping this in one hand, he fairly sprints towards the bed and yanks back the covers. Before he can think twice, he slips beneath the sheets and throws an arm over your waist.
Jimin cringles, expecting you to wake up and berate him for breaking the first rule you gave. Indeed, heâs prepared to defend himself when you do the unthinkable â murmuring gently, you arch and shift backwards.
Jimin goes still. With his arm around your waist, he can feel your soft curves, pressed firmly against him and â fuck. Jimin squeezes his eyes shut, fully embarrassed by his bodyâs response.
âJimin?â
The door cracks open, and Jimin exhales.
âWeâre up, mom,â he mumbles, his voice rough with sleep. The door halts, and Jimin feels you stiffen beneath him. âJust sleeping in.â
âOh! Right, yes â Iâm sorry, dears. I just wanted to know if you need breakfast!â
âWeâll be down soon,â Jimin calls, tightening his grip when you attempt to wriggle free. Seeming to grasp the hint, you go still.
âAlright!â
The door fully closes, and Jimin exhales.
Half-turning to face him, your eyes narrow. âJimin, whââ
âShh,â he murmurs, keeping you still with that same arm.
You stop moving, gaze lingering and Jimin hopes you donât notice the front of his sweatpants. While you were dating, one of his favorite ways to wake up was with you in his arms. Entangled, half-asleep and drowsily aware of your need for one another.
Once his momâs footsteps are gone, Jimin releases his grip. âSorry,â he mutters, scooting away. âI heard the door open and panicked. Didnât want them thinking we slept apart.â
âOh. Right.â
You sound oddly disappointed, although heâs probably imagining that. Jimin valiantly attempts to keep his gaze on your face and not lower, where your excuse-for-pajamas exposes most of your chest. When he bought them for you two years ago, he never dreamt theyâd be used in this fashion. Honestly, hatâs off to you if this was a planned torture.
A devious glint enters your eye, and Jimin can almost imagine the look is for him. At least, he thinks heâs imagining things until you move closer. Time seems to slow when your hand lands on his chest.
Jimin inhales, the sound embarrassingly rough. âSoââ
âDoââ
You each pause, waiting for the other to finish and Jiminâs neck flushes. âYou go,â he murmurs.
âI was just thinkingâŚâ Fleeting, you smile. âDo you remember the first time we visited?â
Jimin stifles the urge to cover his face. âRemember?â he groans, rolling onto his back and tugging you with. âAm I ever going to live that down?â
Grin widening, you rest your head on the pillow beside him. âNope,â you tease. âYou were so nervous your family would hear us doing something, you put a pillow barrier in the bed between us. A pillow barrier!â you repeat, dissolving into laughter.
Jiminâs lips twitch. âThat did not work.â
âNo, it didnât,â you agree, your gaze bright. âIf I remember correctly, I woke up on the last day with your mouth between my legs.â
âIf I remember correctly, I had a standing invitation to do so.â
âTrue. Definitely still my favorite wake-up method.â You abruptly go still, remembering where you are and who youâre with. âI mean,â you rush. âNot that we do that anymore. Or that I like â well, I still like that, but IâŚâ
Although Jimin stays silent, his heart squeezes tighter. The thought of you waking up like that with someone else sends heat through his veins, burning away common sense.
âYeah.â Removing his hand, Jimin rolls sideways. âAnyways, sorry about that. I know we said we wouldnât act like a couple when weâre alone.â
Facing away, Jimin can practically hear your walls being raised. Walls he encouraged â more for self-preservation than anything else.
âNo problem,â you say tightly.
Your feet hit the floor and Jiminâs watches from the corner of one eye as you enter the bathroom. Only then does he exhale, wincing a little at the situation below. Leaning back, he stares at the ceiling and resigns himself to yet another cold shower. The memory of your pussy, gleaming and wet while he sucked on your â
âFuck,â Jimin mutters, standing abruptly to limp across the room.
Gathering his clothes, he exits the room for the bathroom down the hall. You arenât his anymore, he reminds himself while stepping under the spray. Tipping back his head, Jimin allows thoughts of you to consume him; imagining what wouldâve happened if you were still his.
You arenât his, though. The thought is enough to kill his hard-on, and he lets go of himself to grab the shampoo. Your words from earlier come back, and Jimin canât help but wonder at your true meaning. Is theresomeone else waking you up that way? When he called you last weekend, Jimin thought you were with someone and you told him no, but actually â well. What you said was that was none of Jiminâs business.
Feeling slightly sick, Jimin goes through the motions of washing his hair. Stepping from the shower, he wraps a towel around his waist and clears off the glass.
Dr. Nygard would tell him to stop, to slow down and observe the situation. Jimin canât automatically believe the worst option when he has ambiguous information. What have you said? You agreed to come here, for one. Jimin doesnât think heâs deluding himself by imagining most exes wouldnât do that. He also doesnât believe you would come if you were seeing someone serious.
And thatâs all that matters, really. Jimin doesnât care if youâve dated during your time apart â all he cares about is that you hear him when he says he wants you back.
Which he will. He just needs to figure out how.
Warm laughter drifts from the kitchen as you head downstairs. After the complete and utter disaster that was this morning, you spent longer than usual getting ready for the day. Mostly, you spent time in the shower, the water cranked to a temperature barely legal to stand in.
Definitely still my favorite wake-up method. Cringing again, you stop in the hall. If Jimin didnât hear the desperation in your voice, youâd be surprised. You might as well have thrown your leg over his waist or told him you still think about him when you come. From the way Jimin yeeted himself out of the bed, itâs clear he doesnât feel the same way.
For all you know, heâs been âmoving onâ for months now. Stomach sinking, you recall the age-old adage about break-ups. Women feel the most at first, slowly getting better until, three months later, theyâre ready to start dating again. Men are the opposite, throwing themselves into every open bed until, three months in, they realize how good they had it back then.
Feeling somewhat foolish, you wonder if Jimin has been sleeping around. Heâs a world-famous NHL player â itâs not like he would be at a loss for options. Women and men hotter, funnier, and smarter than you are probably lining themselves up for the chance.
No, you reiterate, shaking your head. Even if he has been seeing other people, Jimin asked you to come with him to Garland. Youâre the one he invited, which he wouldnât have done if there was someone else in the picture.
Hovering outside the kitchen, you listen in. Hoseok laughs at something Jiminâs dad said, and Jisoo is asking her mom for more fruit. Jimin says heâs got it, making your chest tighten. This was the family you were supposed to be a part of; the future you envisioned for nearly four years.
Still, you manage to keep your smile in place as you enter. âGood morning!â you chirp, heading straight for the coffee.
Jisoo glances up from the table. âY/N!â she says, shoving back her chair. âI was half-asleep last night and didnât properly hug you. Come here!â
Passing Hana and Ari, who are giggling at something Jimin just said, Jisoo wraps you warmly in her arms. Laughing, you squeeze her back and feel some of your tension fade. Jisoo is one of your favorite people on the planet, and a role model you look up to.
Three years older than Jimin, she completed her residency while planning her wedding and became pregnant with twins her first year at UW Medicine. A year ago, she and Hoseok decided to uproot their lives and move to Garland for a promotion â Jisoo became an attending physician, which was rare for someone with only three years of specialty.
Before this year, you used to talk all the time. With the move and Jiminâs injury, you havenât spoken as much, which explains why she didnât realize something was wrong. Or maybe she did, but simply doesnât know how bad things are.
At long last, Jisoo separates to look you up and down. âYouâre way too skinny,â she huffs, tugging you forward. âCome on, have breakfast. The girls want to make Christmas cookies later this morning.â
âWho am I to crush their dreams?â
Before you can get very far, a steaming mug of coffee is pressed into your hands. Surprised, you glance up and find Jimin beside you. He catches your gaze and smiles, damp hair in his eyes.
âMorning,â he says, his voice still rough with sleep.
You stare at him, wide-eyed, until he turns around to cross the room. Jisoo laughs at your face, shaking her head.
âYou two are the worst,â she groans. âThe way you look at each other is positively nauseating, like you just started dating.â
Jiminâs shoulders stiffen as he opens the fridge.
âNot that itâs a bad thing,â Hoseok says from behind. Bending, he scoops Hanaâs toy from the floor. âYou two are sweet, thatâs all.â
âUnlike Y/Nâs coffee.â Jisoo shudders.
Gamely, you take a large sip of your coffee â black, like your soul. Just how you like it. Just how Jimin knows you like it.
âDelicious,â you say, meeting his gaze over the rim of your mug.
Jimin doesnât look away, slowly sipping his tea.
âBreakfast!â Jiminâs mom sings songs, turning from the stove. Spooning eggs onto a plate, she pushes this towards you. âI hope you donât mind I made them scrambled, Y/N. You liked that last time you visited, right?â
âThanks,â you say, your smile genuine while taking a seat.
The meal is uneventful, passing with small talk and regular interruptions from the twins. By the time the table is cleared, youâre completely full. You forgot this part of the holidays â food and laughter, coupled with good company.
Finishing his tea, Jimin sits beside you and subtly extends his leg. His left thigh brushes yours, making you stiffen. An accident â or so you think, until he stretches both arms overhead, exposing a flat strip of abs. Clutching your mug, you shoot him a dirty look.
Jimin drops a wink.
Once the dishes are clean, the morning continues. At the twinsâ insistence, this morningâs activity is holiday cookie making. Hoseok and Jisoo picked out three types and somehow, youâve been stuck with the most difficult.
Jiminâs dad, a retired elementary school teacher, leaves for the local theater around ten. Apparently, heâs still involved with the kidsâ Christmas pageant. Jiminâs mom follows, needing to pick up some things from the store.
You end up next to Jisoo, delicately sifting flour for your cookies. Jimin is with Hoseok near the stove, conversing lowly while filling small bowls with candy. Part of you strains to overhear them, but theyâre too far away. Probably for the best â for months, youâve been consumed by the past. Your therapist would encourage living in the moment.
âHowâs the new hospital?â you ask Jisoo, whisking your ingredients.
Her smile brightens. âReally great. Honestly, I was scared to move from Seattle. I knew itâd be easier to have my parents nearby, but⌠I donât know.â She exhales. âI was being a snob, I guess. Thought I could only make it big in the city.â
Rueful, you smile. âI get that. But Iâm glad things are going well.â
âReally well,â Jisoo says. Her glance darts to Hoseok, and she lowers her voice. âBetween you and me, Hoseok and I are trying again.â
âNo way,â you whisper-gush. âSeriously? Jisoo, thatâs so exciting!â
âI know, right? We â oh, no! Honey, not like that.â
Turning, you stifle laughter when you see Hana pouring flour into the cookie cutter. Standing, Jisoo rushes to correct the error and clean up the mess.
Sitting back in your chair, you focus on the ingredients and attempt to squash your discomfort. Youâve always wanted kids â your wanted kids with Jimin â but now, just the thought brings back awful memories.
Missed phone calls, doctorâs appointments, and a stick with two lines.
Jimin sinks into the empty seat beside you. âDid she tell you?â he murmurs, leaning in. âThat theyâre trying for a third kid?â
Seemingly on accident, his right thigh presses to yours. âYeah,â you say, trying to ignore the sparks this contact brings. âThatâs awesome.â
âYou were right, you know.â
Lifting your brows, you turn fully. âAbout what, specifically?â
Jimin chuckles, shaking his head. âHoseok noticed you werenât at my games,â he admits. âI said youâve been traveling a lot for work, which he seemed to buy.â
âHm.â Glancing sideways, you see Hoseok is watching. âMaybe we should do something⌠you know, to keep them off track.â
âOh?â Somehow, his voice gets deeper. âLike what?â
Strands of dark hair have fallen over his gaze and, tentative, you reach up to brush them away. Jimin goes still, his gaze fixed on yours. When your fingers skim his jawline, Jimin audibly swallows. Pulling back, you attempt to stay calm â until he reaches up to capture your wrist.
Still looking at you, Jimin tilts your palm and presses a kiss to the center. The feel of his lips, velvet and soft, weakens behind your knees.
âEnough,â Hoseok groans, collapsing into the seat alongside you. âThese cookies wonât make themselves.â
Jimin smiles and withdraws, much to your disappointment. Returning to your cookies, you try not to replay his touch in your mind. Of course, you fail. Each time Jimin moves, your thighs press together, and youâre cursed with many memories of his bare skin on yours.
At least there isnât much need for conversation. The twins, adorable as ever, demand attention from the table as they tell their stories.
Once the cookies are in the oven, Jimin busies himself making another pot of coffee. He refills your mug, sitting closer than before, blithely oblivious to your turmoil. If you didnât know better, youâd think he was torturing you on purpose, but Jimin isnât like that. He just loves being close to people.
While youâre busy frosting, Jiminâs mom returns from the store. âThose cookies smell amazing,â she sighs, unwinding her scarf. âHoney, help me put these away!â she calls to Jiminâs dad, entering close behind her.
Opening the fridge, he starts to unload while Ari and Hana make a mess with the sprinkles. Jimin stretches again in his seat, casually licking frosting while you try not to stare. Only bad things can come from obsessing about Jiminâs tongue.
Bringing a fresh bag of candy, Jiminâs mom sits beside Ari to help her decorate. Pouring himself a fresh mug of coffee, his dad turns around and leans against the counter. His stance is so similar to Jiminâs, you canât help but smile.
âWhat is it?â Jimin asks, leaning closer.
You stifle a shiver at his breath near your ear. âNothing,â you murmur. âItâs just⌠nice being here, thatâs all.â
Something unreadable darts across his expression. Before either of you can respond, Ari lets out a squeal and shoves her cookie forward.
âLook, Uncle Jimin!â she cries, showing him the final product. âHockey puck.â
Leaning forward, Jimin blinks at a round cookie with black frosting. Hoseok shakes his head, hiding a smile and pulls the cookie back.
âKind of looks like a button,â he mutters, and Jisoo elbows him swiftly.
You and Hoseok laugh, but youâre the only ones. Everyone else goes silent, glancing awkwardly at Jiminâs dad, who stands near the coffee pot. His lips are a thin line, his displeasure clear while setting his mug aside.
Removing his glasses, Jiminâs dad slowly polishes them on the end of his shirt. âNot sure you want to be encouraging hockey so young, Jisoo,â he says.
Jisoo visibly stiffens and Jimin sinks lower.
âSheâs just supporting her uncle,â Jisoo declares. âShe thinks the game is exciting â which it is.â
âExciting, yes.â Jiminâs dad turns around. âDangerous, is another word.â
Stomach flipping, you glance at Jimin. Part of you wonders if heâll use this to broach the contract, but a single look sideways banishes this thought completely. Jiminâs knuckles are white from gripping his tea, his gaze darting swiftly from table to floor.
A surge of protectiveness goes through you. Although his parents mean well, in their desire to keep Jimin safe, all theyâve done is alienate him. Jimin, who does his best to please everyone and make others happy.
âAccidents can happen in a lot of sports,â you blurt, and Jimin looks upward, startled. âOr just walking down the street. Jimin is a great player, and a smart one. I, for one, am proud of everything heâs accomplished.â
Jisoo mouths, thank you, to you from across the table. Finished with your declaration, you feel an odd twinge of guilt, wondering if you overstepped. Jiminâs momâs expression is unreadable, and his dadâs back remains to the rest of the room.
Hoseok clears his throat, always the mood-maker. âYes, weâre all proud of Jimin for his two Stanley Cup winsâ oh, wait a minute, hang on.â He presses one hand to his heart. âThat was Jungkook who has two wins. Jimin only has one.â
Jisoo boos, pelting Hoseok with chocolate chips and Hana joins in. Jimin and Jungkookâs so-called ârivalryâ is infamous, both in the NHL and in their hometown, having grown up only streets apart. They were on the same team for one of said cup wins, but then Jungkook got traded and won another â a constant source of ribbing between them. You imagine youâll see Jungkook at some point this weekend; he usually returns to Garland during the holidays.
While everyone laughs, you feel Jimin lean closer. âThank you,â he murmurs.
You turn to face him head-on. âI meant it.â
His gaze only intensifies. âI know.â
A fission mends in your chest, once cracked by separation and distance. Towards the end of your relationship, you stopped being a team. Somehow, you ceased understanding what Jimin thought, and he stopped trying to tell you. It aches, imagining a separate reality where instead of breaking up, you became closer.
Jimin seems more self-aware now, more in touch with his feelings and you canât help but wonder if itâs because youâre not together. Maybe losing you was the key to finding himself. And if thatâs so â how can you ever ask him to come back?
The troubling thought lingers for the rest of the morning, and youâre no closer to an answer as lunch rolls around.
The entire rest of the day is a complicated dance of keeping your distance while simultaneously acting no different than usual. By the time the sun sets, your bones are exhausted from your world-class portrayal of Happy Girlfriend.
The rules are hindering more than theyâre helping, you must admit. Itâs exhausting to code switch every time you leave a room. Seeing Jimin purposefully give you distance, only to engage when his sister appears has the unfortunate consequence of making you feel used. As though youâre only worthy of attention with other people around.
Still, youâre the one who asked for this, so youâll live with the outcome. After dinner, Jiminâs dad decides to build a bonfire and take advantage of the âwarm spell.â You and Jisoo exchange a glance, since your weather app states it will get below freezing. At least thereâs no snow, which is likely what he means.
Jiminâs mom prepares you all for the cold, handing out blankets and making hot toddies. Jisoo bundles Hana and Ari in full snowsuits, despite Hanaâs protestation that youâre wearing a sweater. Sweater is what Hana calls everything except her heaviest parka. Admittedly, you wish youâd bought a warmer jacket (Jimin has been insisting for years) when you step outside and are hit with a frigid blast of air.
Squinting into the wind, you almost donât notice Jimin sneak up behind you. âHere,â he says, draping two blankets around you. âAri was worried youâd catch up to the cold. I think that means, catch a cold.â
Smiling, you pull the fleece tighter. âSheâs adorable,â you murmur. This time, the twinge of regret is easier to bear than before.
Settling into a chair, you accept the hot toddy Jimin hands you. Pulling his seat as close to yours as possible, Jimin drapes the same blanket over your legs. Across the fire, Hoseok and Jisoo settle on a bench â no alcohol for Jisoo, but Hoseok has a hot toddy. Jiminâs mom and dad take the seats between you, busying themselves with entertaining their granddaughters.
The fire crackles merrily before you, bronze and orange sparks drifting upward to the stars. Smiling, Jiminâs dad pokes the log and offers you marshmallows. You defer roasting to the twins, who happily take up the burden. Seeing Jiminâs dad smile eases some of your tension, glad he isnât mad at you for what you said. You didnât think he would be, having known him for years, but you never know. The injury changed a lot in their family.
Leaning your head to Jiminâs shoulder, you inhale his scent mixed with the bonfire. Curling your legs under, you take a sip of your drink and slowly exhale. Glancing at Jimin, you realize heâs wearing the sweater you got him your very first Christmas.
âHey,â you blurt, reaching for the hem. âYouâre wearing this.â
Jimin looks down when you push his coat aside. âUh, yeah. I know, itâs kind of tight. I mustâve gained weight since then â it fit perfectly when you gave it to me.â
âIt fits perfectly now,â you mutter.
His body stills beneath as you touch him. The fit might be snugger than your first Christmas, but you canât help but think of it as an improvement. Jiminâs biceps strain against wool sleeves, and the pattern highlights the tapered v of his chest. Your fingers dance over the fabric, marveling until you realize youâre basically feeling him up.
Startled, you glance up and find Jiminâs eyes so dark, theyâre practically onyx. Light reflects from the campfire, a hungry edge to his gaze that sends your mind reeling. Jiminâs hand moves under the blanket to grip yours, pointedly guiding your palm to rest on his thigh.
âEnough of that,â he says, his voice husky. âOr my family is going to see a lot more than they bargained for tonight.â
You squirm slightly beside him. Feeling his thigh beneath your palm has the opposite effect of what Jimin intended. You canât help but think of this morning, waking up and the shower that followed. Now, more than ever, youâre starting to regret the rules. Itâs hard to tell if Jimin is being genuine, or simply knows his family is watching.
Deciding to test this, you move closer. âCan you blame me?â you murmur. âYouâve always been good-looking, but this is something else.â
Jimin blinks, his surprise morphing quickly to something else. âIs that so?â he says lowly, his hand still over yours. âBecause I seem to recall the first time we met you said you didnât understand why I was a big deal.â
You canât help but laugh. âYeah, well, you deserved that. You were cocky.â
âYou liked it.â
A smile twists your lips. âI did,â you admit.
The first time you met was in convention room A of some Hilton near the airport. You honestly donât remember which one â all Hiltons look the same after a while. Jimin annoyed you at first since he drew attention away from the featured artists. Every time he entered a room, hushed whispers would follow, and focus from the panel would drift.
This eventually reached the point where you decided to say something. Personally, you claim no recollection of what you said, but Jimin insists you told him to either put on a mask or stay on the rink, but either way, his face better be gone tomorrow. This tickled him so much, that the next day at the con, Jimin wore an Iron Man mask and asked you out on a date.
His gaze heats, as though remembering the same night. You certainly didnât intend to sleep with Jimin on the first date, but thatâs what happened. After that, you were inseparable.
A marshmallow bag is thrust in your face.
âMarshmallows?â Hoseok asks, his cheeks red from the cold. âThereâs only three left, so claim them before Hana and Ari roast them all. Or set them on fire.â
Jiminâs jaw drops. âYou roasted the entire bag?â
âYes and, well⌠some of them fellâŚâ
Sighing, Jisoo shakes her head. âWeâll buy more tomorrow.â
Accepting the bag, Jimin pushes aside the blanket to stand. Without him, cold air rushes in to fill the empty space and you shiver. Before you can protest, Jimin turns and brushes a kiss to your forehead. No tongue, as agreed upon. Your test has completely failed.
âBe right back,â he promises, and jogs towards the fire.
Adding marshmallows to a stick, he begins to roast them in classic Jimin fashion. Finding the perfect spot over the fire so that the marshmallows turn a photogenic gold brown. Sipping your drink, you watch Jimin talk to his family, too far away to hear. Wind whistles through pine trees behind you, a wolf howling somewhere far in the distance.
Jimin throws his head back and laughs, his dark locks bright against amber flames. Every so often, he glances in your direction, as though ensuring youâre there. Something about this feels dangerous, as though neither of you are fully pretending. Whatever the truth is, youâre too tipsy to care. If youâre damned to burn by proximity, you might as well enjoy the warmth.
When Jimin returns, you accept the sâmore he gives you. Jimin rejoins under the blanket, mock shivering until you lay your head again on his shoulder.
âThatâs better,â he sighs, snuggling closer. âI know my dad loves these fires, but this is kind of excessive.â
âI heard that,â calls his dad from across the pit.
âYou were supposed to!â Jimin yells back, prompting more laughter.
His fingers interlace with yours, and he tugs your hand to his lap. Single-handed, you finish eating the sâmore and pick up your hot toddy. This feels comfortable, just like when you dated â except youâre not dating, youâre just pretending to date, but youâre still very much in love with Jimin, except you broke up for valid reasons, which â
âSo,â Jisoo says, across the fire with Hoseok. âWhatâs the plan for tomorrow?â
Their mom glances at their dad. âUp in the air,â she says lightly. âI think the girls wanted to go ice skating, and we still need to holiday shop.â
âThat all sounds good,â Jiminâs dad says without comment.
Your brows lift, although you keep your thoughts to yourself. It would seem the conversation this morning may have broken the ice where skating is concerned. No snide comment follows, or awkward glances.
Swallowing the last of his sâmore, Jimin brushes off crumbs. âHeading into town sounds good. I need to get some last-minute gifts â I mean, uh, things. For no one.â
âBetter not be my gift!â Jisoo pouts.
âEr, no â definitely not.â
Hana giggles, but Ari says nothing, fast asleep in Hoseokâs arms. Your chest twinges, looking at her sleeping body and you forcibly return your gaze to the fire. Beneath the blanket, your body has stiffened and Jimin seems to notice.
âAre you okay?â he murmurs, turning into your hair.
Silently, you nod and attempt to look happy. âIâm good.â
âThen, itâs settled,â says their mom, oblivious to your conversation. âWeâll do ice skating in the morning, and shopping in the afternoon.â
âSounds good,â you agree.
âSunday is the Christmas Eve party,â adds Jisoo. âItâs happening at the resort this year! Aka â itâll be fancy.â
Jiminâs mom smiles. âMake sure your gifts are wrapped before then!â
âI already wrapped mine,â says Jimin, his hand tight on yours. âExcept for the ones I definitely didnât forget.â
Hana laughs louder, her mouth full of chocolate. You exchange a pained glance with Jisoo, knowing sheâs going to crash soon â and hard.
âAll of your gifts?â Jisoo teases, leaning forward. âHowâd you fit them in that tiny suitcase, Jimin? Unless theyâre little gifts. Like⌠a small, Tiffany blue box?â
Hoseok hoots, and you feel Jiminâs thigh tighten beneath your hand. Youâre sure youâre no better, your smile frozen in place at the implication.
âJisooâŚâ Jimin warns.
âWhat?â She glances at Hoseok. âCome on, Jimin. We all know youâre going to propose. How else will you have all those babies you mentioned?â
âI mean, we could have a child without being married,â says Jimin drily. âBut thatâs beside the point.â
Jisoo rolls her eyes and sits back. âUh-huh. Sure.â
Each word slams your gut, made worse by the fact that Jisoo doesnât know. Thatâs the problem. If she were saying these things to be mean, youâd know how to respond. As it is though, the only thing you can do is nod until itâs acceptable to retreat.
âWeâre fine with more grandchildren,â adds Jiminâs mom. âWith or without matrimony.â
âOkay, mom,â Jimin says through gritted teeth. âCan we please change the subject?â
âYes, of course.â His dad waves a hand. âI think what everyone is trying to say though, Jimin, is that Y/N is already family. Additions are welcome in any way you see fit.â
Beneath the blanket, you grip the chair harder. The world around you dims as your vision blurs. As much as youâd like to pretend this is fine, all you can think about is what happened. You and Jimin arenât happy, you arenât together, and you definitely arenât having children.
What actually happened was silence, much worse than any fighting. Conversations that should have happened, didnât, pushed to the wayside because of your fear.
Abruptly, you stand and the blanket falls. Your head pounds as conversation around the fire ceases and heads turn to face you.
âI â Iâm sorry,â you blurt, stumbling over the words. âIâm not feeling well. Too much hot toddy, I think,â you add with a feeble laugh. âIâm going to head in for the night.â
Surprised expressions stare back, but you donât choose to linger. Turning around, you rush towards the house with your heart in your throat. Snow crunches beneath boots, light from the bonfire flickering over the path.
Time seems both fast and slow as you shrug off your coat and step from your boots. Rushing upstairs, you barely make it into your bedroom before a sob rips from your throat. After so long suppressing them, your emotions expand in a heady wave. Memories of the night you broke up â the reason why you broke up â rise to the surface, demanding to be heard.
Sinking onto the sofa, you bury your face in your palms as guilt swallows you whole. Guilt Jimin doesnât even know the half of, and if he did, he might never have asked you here in the first place.
Feet pounding the staircase, Jimin rushes upstairs. He isnât sure what happened but knows you well enough to know you shouldnât be alone. As much as you like to pretend not to need anyone, there are times when you do. Times when the emotions are too much, too heavy and you canât bear them alone.
Outside, Jimin doesnât recall exactly what he said, only that he made an excuse to leave and disappeared. Youâre whatâs most important right now. Despite what he said to you on the phone, his family would understand if he confessed two pieces of bad news at once. Sure, the hockey subject is tense right now and of course, they love you, but they also love Jimin. He knows theyâll eventually come around, no matter what he decides with his contract.
You, on the other hand⌠Jimin doesnât know how to fix.
Reaching his old bedroom door, he knocks once. âY/N?â Jimin calls, leaning closer to listen. âCan I come in?â
Jimin hears you move around, a soft thump of footsteps while you ready yourself for bed. And then â an unmistakable hitch in your breathing.
Losing himself completely, Jimin barges inside.
Your head jerks up, eyes wide when you see him. Crouching next to your suitcase, you hold in one hand the sweater you wore at the fire. Jimin barely notices, zeroing in on your eyes, which are red-rimmed and swollen.
âIâm sorry,â you whisper, dropping the sweater. âIâll tell your family whatever you want tomorrow. I just...â Your eyelashes flutter when you straighten. âI just couldnât sit there, listening t-to them talk about us andââ
Crossing the room, Jimin crushes you to him. You bury your face in his chest, your entire body hiccupping as your arms wrap around him. He feels your muscles melt, leaning against him in a way that cracks his heart. For the first time in months, things feel right.
âItâs alright,â Jimin murmurs, inhaling deeply. âItâs fine, I donât care.â
He doesnât. Nothing matters beyond you in his arms, this feeling thatâ
âDid you knowâŚâ Your voice hitches. âI thought I was pregnant?â
Jiminâs arms lock, his blood turning sluggish as time seems to slow. Sound goes in and out, his brain repeatedly trying to process this information. None of it works.
âYou⌠what?â Jimin rasps.
âI⌠never mind.â Your voice tightens. âItâs not worth it.â
Disentangling from his hold, you head for your suitcase and Jimin comes to his senses. âNot worth it?â he blurts, turning to face you. âHow do you figure?â
âBecause,â you say, crouching down. Frantic, you yank out another set of pajamas â Jimin nearly swears, seeing their skimpy hem. Did you bring any clothes for sleeping that wonât give him a boner? âWeâre broken up, Jimin. Thereâs no point in rehashing the past.â
Grasping your toiletry kit, you stand â and Jimin reaches out. Definitely not his proudest moment, but he grabs the kit from your hands to hold just out of reach.
Your jaw drops. âAre you serious?â
âDeadly,â Jimin says, gaze locked on you.
âGive that back,â you huff, attempting to grab it. âI swear, Jimin!â
âTell me what you meant.â
âThereâs no point.â
âThere is a point if I did something to hurt you and never knew.â
Sidestepping Jimin, you snatch the kit from his hand. âJust forget it,â you huff, attempting to walk past him.
He steps between you and the door. âI donât want to.â
Stumbling to a stop, you narrowly avoid his chest. âJimin, stop,â you groan, and his hands slide to your elbows.
âWhen?â he demands. âWhen did you think you were pregnant?â
Your jaw sets, staring past him and for a terrible moment, Jimin is scared you wonât say. Scared youâll decide you two are done and he doesnât deserve the truth. Hell, youâre probably right. If you didnât want to tell him back then, you probably had your reasons.
âSeptember,â you whisper, barely audible.
Jimin finds it hard to breathe. He canât recollect how to draw breath into his lungs, much less to expel it. âWhen in September,â he manages to ask.
Your gazes finally meet, and Jimin nearly regrets asking the question. âWhen you were at training camp,â you murmur.
September is both training camp for the NHL and the month you broke up. Jimin doesnât view this to be a coincidence. Although he started skating with the team over the summer, training camp was a whole new level of hell for him. The rest of the team had an entire season of games and experience under their belt. Jimin felt like an outsider, at the bottom of his game both professionally and physically.
People love to think of recovery as a straight line, but itâs not. Dr. Nygard once called recovery polynomial, and thatâs stuck with Jimin ever since. Full of dips and swift rises, plummets, and inclines. Training week was a plummet for Jimin. Coach was on some new kick, insisting the entire team stay for weeks at a hotel near the airport for âteam building.â All it meant was Jimin had no escape from his thoughts after leaving the ice. He had no you to steady him, no therapist he was seeing, and Jimin found himself drowning.
âWhat happened?â Jimin rasps, still holding on. âWhat do you mean, you thought you were pregnant?â
âI⌠realized my period was late and decided to take a pregnancy test. It was positive.â
Jiminâs stomach drops. âIt was⌠positive? And you didnât tell me?â
Your gaze narrows. âI tried, Jimin. I called you that night to talk but you were so in your head â the way you always were â that you barely heard.â
Jimin opens his mouth, and then closes it because he knows youâre right. Jimin wishes things had been different back then, wishes he could have pulled himself out of his depression long enough to talk, but he didnât â or he couldnât, Dr. Nygard would want him to say.
Last yearâs injury shook his foundation in a way Jimin hadnât anticipated. He had always been good at being a boyfriend, but not at relationships. Jimin was good at holding hands, saying comforting things and listening while you talked.
He wasnât so good at confessing his shortcomings, or even acknowledging them to himself.
For most of your relationship, your problems were equal â or, if Jimin is being honest, yours were bigger than his. Then, suddenly, he was a burden. Jimin couldnât stand, couldnât shower, couldnât even get dressed without you by his side. Losing his agency made him question everything he was, and he had no idea how to communicate that to you.
Jimin remembers the phone call you mentioned. He felt guilty about letting the team down that day, rushing you off the phone as penance. And then, he felt guilty about that, leading to a spiral which consumed half the night. Jimin hasnât spiraled like that in a while, but right now, the panic feels tangible, hovering beneath his fingertips.
âAnd then what?â he manages to ask. âWhat happened?â
You stare at the wall, unfocused. âI went to the doctor that Friday. She confirmed I wasnât pregnant, said the test had been a false positive, and I felt⌠confused.â
âConfused?â
âRelieved,â you clarify, gaze flicking to his. âI was relieved not to be pregnant. I want kids. Youwant kids. Even if it was unplanned, I thought getting pregnant was something I wanted, so when it happened, and I didnât want itâŚâ Your voice cracks as you speak. âI knew something was wrong.â
Jiminâs grip on you tightens, wishing he could go back and fix it. Wishing heâd heard what you tried to tell him, but he was so focused on his own pain, he hadnât seen yours.
âWe hadnât talked in so long,â you whisper. âYou⌠were so absent back then. You wouldnât talk about anything, and I was terrified a kid would make that worse.â
A tear slips from your eye, and Jimin wipes it away. You lean into his touch, and his heart aches, that after everything, you would seek him for comfort. He only wishes heâd offered it then.
âI know I was absent. My⌠my therapist and I are working on communication. Thatâs why you said you wanted a break,â Jimin says, his voice hollow.
âYeah.â Your eyelashes flutter. âIt was.â
Exhaling deeply, Jimin lowers his hand. âRight.â
The night runs again through his mind, remembering how strange you sounded on the phone. And then Jimin recalls your face when he came home to the kitchen table. Again and again, the memory loops in his mind, a formative moment he canât get past. You refused to even talk to him then, refused to tell him what the break was about. Just said you needed space, and that was that.
Ugly emotions bubble up, and Jimin tries to suppress them.
âIâm sorry,â you rush. âI should have tried harder to tell you, I know.â
âYeah,â he exhales, turning away to run a hand through his hair. âYeah, you should have, Y/N. Maybe if youâd told me, I wouldâve ââ
âYou wouldâve what,â you interrupt, steel entering your voice for the first time. Jimin glances sideways and finds you standing too close. âI tried for months to get you to talk to me. Why would this have been any different?â
âBecause!â Jimin blurts, trying not to shout. âYou thought you were pregnant.â
Eyes blazing, you take a step closer. âAnd? Thinking I was pregnant wasnât why I asked for a break. I asked for a break because the pregnancy scare made me realize I couldnât rely on you.â
Jimin reels, as though slapped.
Seeing this, some of your anger dissipates. âI was scared, Jimin. Scared that if the season didnât go well, our relationship would change. And scared that if the season did go well, the next time it didnât, our relationship would change. And Iâd be left alone â again. Only with a child.â
All he can do is stare, wishing youâd said this when you were together. Then again, Jimin wouldnât have been ready to hear it. Dr. Nygard says he internalizes problems, insisting on solving them by himself instead of asking for help. Ignoring a problem isnât the same thing as solving it, though.
Unfortunately, Jimin didnât feel the need to seek out a new therapist until after you left. Focusing on you and your pain, he takes a step closer.
âI didnât know,â Jimin admits, somewhat broken. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. I didnât know.â
âYeah, well.â He sees right through your attempt to be brave. âLike I said, it doesnât matter. I asked for a break, and you wanted to break up. The reason why doesnât really matter â does it? It doesnât change the result.â
âIt matters,â Jimin says lowly. âIt matters to me.â
Something unreadable flickers in your gaze. âMaybe youâre right,â you admit on an exhale. âMaybe it does matter. But⌠it doesnât fix things. Does it?â
Jimin hesitates a moment too long, and he watches the moment light fades in your eyes. His throat clogs with his panic, trying to come up with an answer, but everything feels inadequate.
Nodding to yourself, you step around him. âThatâs what I thought,â you say and shut yourself in the bathroom.
Jimin listens to the water turn on, the shower curtain shutting and still, he stands there. His skin feels too tight, stretched across his bones, and the one thing he knows is he canât stay. Jimin might be better at talking about his feelings now, but thereâs only so much he can unpack in one night. Besides, you didnât seem to want to have him around.
Turning on his heel, Jimin grabs his wallet and heads out the door. Frantically texting the first person in his phone, he pauses at the landing to wait for a response.
When it comes, Jimin grabs his jacket and stuffs his feet into shoes. What he needs is a plan, someone to talk through his feelings with and thereâs only one person here who fits that bill.
âYou rang?â Hoseok asks, sticking his head in from outside.
âYep,â Jimin says, opening the front door. âLetâs go out. I could use a drink.â
Part 9
Jiminâs POV
âOkay, so, explain this to me again.â Removing his hat, Hoseok smooths down his hair. âYou and Y/N arenât together⌠but youâre pretending to be together, becauseâŚ?â
âBecause.â Squinting, Jimin realizes he may have overdone it with that last shot of whiskey. For once, heâs thankful Hoseok convinced him to take an Uber. âIâm planning on extending my contract. I canât tell my parents that and we broke up.â
âYou could.â Hoseok nods. âI mean, you could, but itâd go poorly. I get that.â
Mid-sip of whiskey, Jimin nearly spits it back out. âYou canât make me laugh,â he complains, wiping his mouth with one hand. âI nearly died.â
Hoseok laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. Before Hoseok was Jisooâs husband, he was Jiminâs good friend. Hoseok is two years older than Jimin but would always make time for the younger kids in their school. If anyone knows Jimin well enough to give advice, it would be Hoseok.
Unfortunately, prime advice-giving time was probably several shots back.
Glancing at the clock, Jiminâs eyes widen. Itâs nearly 1:00 AM. âWe should probably head back,â he says, although he doesnât budge.
Hoseok nods. âProbably.â
Exhaling, Jimin traces the rim of his glass with a finger. He debates whether to say his next though out loud before deciding, fuck it.
âThatâs not the only reason I asked Y/N to come,â he admits.
âNo.â Hoseok pretends to be surprised. âIâm shocked.â
Jimin pretend-shoves him off the stool, missing wildly. Hoseok cracks up, teetering backwards and nearly falling for real. Draining the rest of his glass, Jimin slams this to the counter.
âI still love her,â he admits, staring at the counter. âNever stopped. This past year has been⌠hard.â Jimin pauses, and Hoseok waits for him to continue. âI didnât handle things well after I got hurt. I found a new therapist after we broke up, and theyâve put things in perspective. I tend to shut down, and in doing so, I push people away.â
âYou donât say,â Hoseok muses.
âAnyways.â Jimin shakes his head. âThatâs what I did to Y/N. I kept saying things were fine, but they werenât. I didnât want to talk to her, didnât want her to think any less of me.â
âWhy would Y/N think less of you?â
Jimin pauses since thatâs exactly how Dr. Nygard responded. âI⌠my therapist thinks I can accept flaws in others, but not in myself. He says too much of my self-worth is tied to accomplishments, in what I am to other people. When I lost something I viewed as essential, I felt⌠lost. Like I had nothing else to offer.â
Hoseokâs face twists. âJimin, thatâs not true.â
âI know.â He frowns at the empty glass. âOr at least, Iâm learning thatâs not true, but itâs how I felt at the time. I couldnât let Y/N in because I didnât want her to see how lost I truly was. I didnât want her to think⌠I wasnât the guy she fell in love with.â
And yet, Jimin wonders if this was the reason you left. You said you felt as though you couldnât talk to him anymore, like he couldnât hear you. You never said you didnât like who he was, or that you were scared he couldnât play hockey anymore. You said you were scared he wouldnât let you in again.
Seeing the horrible irony in this, Jimin lowers his head.
âJimin.â Hoseok exhales. âY/N didnât fall in love with you because youâre some big hockey star. In fact,â he adds, perking up slightly. âIf I remember correctly, she hated that fact about you.â
Jimin chuckles. âYouâre right about that.â
âSo, you concocted this entire plan, dragged Y/N here for the holidays⌠for what? Whatâs the big move?â
âYou think I have a plan?â Bleakly, he laughs. âNo. I donât know. I justâŚâ Jimin hesitates. âThe past three months have been miserable. At first, I didnât call because I thought she was better off. I thought if Y/N was so unhappy, she deserved someone better, but⌠it wasnât until recently I realized I didnât give her a choice in the matter.â
Hoseok takes a sip of his drink. âSo, what youâre saying is, you want to give her that choice.â
âI want to apologize,â Jimin says. âI want to show her Iâm trying, that Iâm still hers if she wants me, but⌠I also donât want to force any decisions on her. I just want Y/N to be happy, you know? I want her to know I want her, since I havenât done a good job at telling her in the past.â
Although his head is spinning, Jimin feels as though a weight has been lifted. For so long, heâs kept this bottled inside.
Hoseok sniffs loudly and Jimin glances at him, startled. âAre you⌠crying?â
âNo!â Hoseok wipes his nose. âIâm just a sucker for love, alright? Tell me what you need from me this weekend, and Iâll help.â
âThanks, man.â Jimin reaches over, patting him on the back. âI just⌠want Y/N to know Iâm trying. She said she couldnât rely on me before. I want her to know that she can.â
Hoseokâs lips purse. âOkay, sure. Make you look trustworthy. Dependable. Thatâs a tall order, but Iâm down for the challenge.â
âCanât be any harder than convincing Jisoo to marry you.â
âWhat was that?â Hoseok leans closer. âI couldnât hear you over the sound of me and your sister trying for our third kid.â
âGross,â Jimin groans. âI absolutely didnât need to know that. Letâs go home,â he declares, sliding off the stool. Leaving money on the counter, he waves at the bartender. âIâll call another Uber, okay?â
âGreat.â Hoseok joins him at the exit, looping his scarf over his neck. âBut seriously, Jimin, just tell me what you need. Now that I know whatâs happening, I can be your man on the inside! Finagle those magical, romantic moments for you and Y/N.â
âJust talking about it was helpful,â Jimin admits. âSo, thanks for that.â
âAnytime. Just make sure you talk to her, too â okay?â
âThatâs the plan,â Jimin exhales, breath frosting as he opens the door.
Starting tomorrow, he plans on showing exactly what this relationship can be. And this time, if you decide to leave, it will be with the knowledge that Jimin wants you to stay.
The next morning you wake to the smell of pancakes. Rolling to your stomach, you leisurely stretch â only to remember partway where you are and what happened. The events of last night slam into you hard enough for you to cringe as you open an eye.
Jimin is asleep on the sofa, his face smushed by cushions with one arm hanging off. You remember stirring when he came in, although it must have been late. Bitterness stains your thoughts, and you roll onto your back to block him from view. Last night, you confessed everything. The reason you asked for a break, how you felt last year â only for Jimin to disappear, rather than have the hard conversation. Again.
When you emerged from the shower to an empty room, you tiptoed downstairs with your robe wrapped around you. Jisoo and her mom were talking in hushed tones outside, and you caught enough to understand Jimin had gone out with Hoseok. Smothering the sting of rejection, you rushed back upstairs and attempted to sleep.
In the new light of day, you can examine the moment with greater clarity. Oddly, mixed in with your anger is a shred of relief. For months, youâve wondered what Jimin would have done if he knew the truth. Having this question resolved makes you feel lighter. He said other things, too, last night that piqued your interest.
Jimin mentioned a therapist. You werenât aware heâd gone back, having disliked the one his team provided. He has seemed different lately, not just because of the situation youâre in. Before, Jimin would never have asked you to come home with you at all. He would have never admitted to needing your help, let alone asked directly.
All this is positive and yet, Jimin still ran away. Just as expected.
Pushing the comforter aside, you rise as quietly as possible to grab your things from your suitcase. Rather than wake Jimin, you head for the bathroom down the hall. The door creaks when you open it, and you pause on the threshold.
Jimin stirs in his sleep, muttering something before he rolls over. You freeze, praying he doesnât wake, and he eventually settles. Even so, he must be uncomfortable. The couch is barely large enough for him to lie down, a blanket half-covering him to trail on the floor. One sockless foot dangles over the cushions, and creases are embedded in his cheek from the pillow.
Before you can change your mind, you slip from the room. Jimin must have been out late with Hoseok â the least you can do is not wake him. Even the thought this causes jealousy to rear its ugly head. Why would they possibly go out last night? Hoseok is married and as far as the family is concerned, you and Jimin are dating. Jimin couldnât possibly have been so upset heâd put that at risk â would he?
You banish this thought as you get ready. Jimin isnât the type of guy to put you in a bad situation. Although naturally flirty, heâd never do anything to cross a line. Even if youâre not technically together anymore.
Once dressed, you head downstairs and find Jiminâs mom already in the kitchen.
âOh,â you exhale, stopping short in the door. âI didnât realize anyone else was up.â
Glancing at you, his momâs smile widens. âThought Iâd get a head start! Please, Y/N, sit down. Iâll get you some breakfast.â
The clock on the wall says only seven, but you nod. âThat sounds great. I woke up early and couldnât go back to sleep.â
âI understand that.â She chuckles, turning to add batter to the pan. âThereâs fruit on the counter if you want any. Pancakes should be ready soon.â
âIâll take the pancakes,â you readily agree. âAnd put the coffee on.â
âBless you,â she sighs.
Crossing the kitchen, the coffee maker sputters to life at the press of a button. Leaning your hip to the counter, you glance around and try not to get lost in the memories. Jiminâs parents have lived here since before he was born, and his childhood is everywhere, from photos on the fridge to height marks on the wall.
One of the reasons you used to enjoy visiting was because it pulled back the curtain. You saw the layers within, a list of the reasons Jimin was who he was. He had a supportive father, warm mother, and a strong older sister who kept him on track. His life was surrounded by love and when you came, it was easy to envision yourself in the future.
A future which no longer exists. Except â something about this thought snags in your mind. Jimin kept insisting that the reason you broke up matters. The only reason it would matter though, is if you had a future.
âY/NâŚâ Interrupting your thoughts, Jiminâs mom turns. âI hope Iâm not overstepping by saying something.â
You straighten when she moves closer, turning the stove dial down.
âOf course, not,â you say, although on the inside, youâre panicking. âGo ahead.â
Stopping before you, she smiles warmly. âOh, good. I just wanted to apologize if anything we said last night caused you discomfort.â
Inwardly, you shrivel. âOh â no, no,â you hasten. âIâm so sorry for running off the way I did.â
Jiminâs mom shakes her head. âDonât you apologize. We were the ones being insensitive, going on and on about marriage and kids. Thereâs absolutely no rush, Y/N. You and Jimin will figure it out eventually â if thatâs even what you want.â
âThank you,â you murmur as the coffee pot dings.
Grateful for something to do with your hands, you busy yourself as his mom returns to the stove. The two of you work in companionable silence, and you grab two mugs to fill up with coffee.
âMilk?â you ask, remembering how she takes hers.
âYes, thank you, dear.â
Bringing this to the stove, you take a seat at the table and Jiminâs mom takes a deep sip. âMuch better,â she sighs. âI hope this goes without saying, but if you ever have something you want to talk about, you can talk to me. I love my son,â she assures. âBut you know I consider you more than his girlfriend. I care about you, too, Y/N.â
Tears prick the corners of your eyes. âThank you,â you murmur, taking a large sip of coffee in lieu of a response.
Glancing sideways, his mom sees this and sets down her spatula. âY/N,â she says, pulling you in for a hug. Smoothing her hand up and down your back, she squeezes you tightly. âI donât know whatâs going on between you and Jimin, but know that we love you â okay?â
âOkay,â you whisper, blinking the tears away.
Jiminâs mom pulls back with a final squeeze. Returning to the pancakes, she expertly flips several to reveal golden-brown. âNow, you better start eating these before someone else wakes up and claims them.â
Smiling to yourself, you settle back at the table.
âSomeone like me?â Jisoo asks, breezing into the kitchen. She squeezes your shoulder as she passes, lifting her brows in wordless commiseration. âGlad youâre feeling better, Y/N. Wouldnât want you to miss the iconic ice skating!â
âCan the twins even ice skate?â you wonder.
Jisoo takes a seat across the table from you. âNot really, no.â She laughs. âBut itâs adorable watching Hoseok lose years from his lifespan with worry.â
You all laugh, digging into your pancakes as conversation continues. Some of your nerves disappear, knowing you didnât mess things up for Jimin with your abrupt exit. And as hard as the conversation was last night, youâre glad you had it. Jimin deserves to know everything that happened this fall, even if it doesnât change anything moving forward.
With everything out in the open though, thereâs nothing stopping you from wondering. From asking yourself if youâd want to get back together if Jimin asked. Itâs something you havenât allowed yourself to even contemplate, fearing youâd never see Jimin again. Now though, you find yourself thinking and the answer comes to you as though it never left.
Yes.
Miraculously, the meteorologist on Channel 9 predicts clear skies all morning, which makes it perfect weather for ice skating. Jimin volunteers to drive, mostly so thereâs an escape plan if you need one. Youâve seemed fine this morning though, your anger from last night mostly dissipated.
Unlike you, Jimin woke with a hangover and firm resolution. Now that youâve talked about why you broke up, he can work on fixing things. Jimin hoped to talk to you at breakfast, but when he opened his eyes, you were already gone. He canât really blame you. Last night, it seemed like a good idea to talk to someone else but in hindsight, it probably seemed like he left you. Again.
Padding downstairs in his PJs â with a t-shirt, having learned yesterday when Jisoo threw a balled-up sweatshirt at his head â Jimin was greeted by the sight of you eating breakfast. Jisoo threw him a dirty look when he entered, which Jimin supposed he deserved, although not for the reasons she thought.
Hoseok fared worse than Jimin, having emerged from their bedroom only five minutes before leaving. Jimin apologized to him profusely, which Hoseok waved aside with grim determination. Indeed, he seems to have taken last night to heart, loudly proclaiming that you should drive in Jiminâs car.
Something which only left you puzzled, seeing as you were already seated on the passenger side. Hoseok promptly ushered the rest of the family into his minivan and drove away. Alone in the SUV, Jimin drives into town and drums his fingers nervously on top of the wheel.
Holiday music plays over the speakers, and you hum under your breath while looking out the window. Jiminâs heart beats strangely louder when he opens his mouth.
âY/NâŚâ
You glance at him. âMm?â
âI justâŚâ He pauses. âI wanted to apologize for last night.â
Now, Jimin seems to have your full attention, and you turn sideways to face him. âWhat are you apologizing for?â you ask, folding your hands in your lap.
Jimin grips the wheel. âA lot of things,â he admits. âI was thinking about what you said, and Iâm sorry I let us get to the point where you didnât feel you could talk to me. Iâm sorry I stopped confiding in you. Iâm sorry I made you feel alone.â A muscle jumps in his jaw. âMy therapist, Dr. Nygard, says I tend to internalize when things go wrong. I shut down, which pushes people away, and Iâm sorry I did that to you.â
The car goes utterly quiet, except for the hum of the engine and Josh Grobanâs voice.
â⌠you found a new therapist?â
Jimin blinks at the road, realizing he never told you. The entire last year, you encouraged him to talk to someone, but he refused. The first therapist Jimin saw left a bad taste in his mouth, always condescending to what he was feeling.
âI did, yeah.â Jimin slowly nods. âIâm trying to reach out for help when I need it.â
Something in your voice softens the next time you speak. âWell,â you exhale. âThatâs good to hear. I hope this therapist is⌠helping? Do you like them?â
âYeah, I do. I mean, itâs always going to be a process â right? The next time things are too much, Iâll have to work to make sure Iâm alright. But it helps, having someone to talk to.â
âThatâs great, Jimin,â you murmur, a wistfulness to your words.
He bobs his head once, as the song on the radio switches to Whitney Houston. Youâve nearly reached the edge of town by the time you next speak.
âYou forgot something in that list of apologies,â you say softly.
Startled, Jimin turns at the stoplight. âWhat do you mean?â
Determined, you set your jaw and turn sideways. âYou disappeared on me last night. We got in a fight, I confessed something personal, and then you just⌠left.â
Jimin stares, feeling like heâs been socked in the stomach. Last night, he didnât think about it that way, thinking youâd want time alone, but youâre right. He left you â again. Jimin inhales, the sound shaky as the light before him turns green.
âAre you saying⌠you wanted me to stay?â
Before you can respond, the ice rink comes into view and Jiminâs attention is required to find parallel parking. Two days before Christmas, the town square is packed. Garland is renowned for their Christmas market, tourists coming from far and wide to browse all the stalls.
Once he parks â several blocks away â you begin the long trek towards the skating rink. Jimin continues to glance at you as you walk, knowing he needs to fix this, and fast.
âY/N,â he ventures.
Your lips tighten. âYes?â
Jimin hesitates, then decides, to hell with his dignity. âIâm sorry I left last night. I didnât think youâd want me to stay, but thatâs not an excuse. I didnât ask if you wanted me to go. I should have stayed. I should have stayed, Y/N,â he adds, grabbing your elbow to make an about-face.
Your lips part, staring up at him from mere inches away. Jiminâs gaze intensifies, hoping you hear the double meaning. Before he can clarify further, a squeal cuts through the crowd.
Š kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
Authorâs Note:Â thank you for reading so far! Continued in Part 2, here.
2K notes
¡
View notes