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nellasbookplanet · 4 months

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Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

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ahundredtimesover · 2 years

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The Light of Dead Stars (03) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language; deceit; shirtless Jin (18+)

Chapter Word count: 9.8k

Series Masterlist | Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

Series summary: Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.

Seokjin hauls your luggages and arranges them on a pushcart, including your carry-on bag that he carefully places on top of his. He makes sure they’re all secured before he turns to you and nods towards the right, motioning for you to go ahead.

“Just go straight,” he says after you look at him questioningly. “Emile‘s waiting for us; he’ll have a sign with our names on it.”

“Why can’t I just walk next to you?” You ask.

“You can, but at least you know where we’re going.”

You nod and keep up with his slower pace, given that he’s pushing the heavy trolley with one hand now as he takes out his phone for a call.

Your eyes widen as he speaks to the person in French, and you admit that if there’s anything that would make him more attractive than he already is, it’s this.

“I didn’t know you spoke French,” you say amusingly after the call ends. “And who’s Emile?”

“Ah. France was always my grandparents’ favorite vacation spot and we’d come here all the time,” he replies. “I just picked up basic stuff. Emile’s been patient in teaching me. He’s one of the butlers but when I visit, he’s the one who helps me around.”

You nod, a mix of excitement and nervousness overtaking you. First class from Incheon to Nice, a butler at your service, and so much more, as Jin’s pretty much enumerated what his parents said they’d paid for both of you to enjoy - it’s all so lavish and you feel undeserving, especially given that you’ve both decided to pretty much deceive his family about the true nature of your relationship.

You’re being cruel, as your brother had said that time you told him about the whole plan, and then again when you spent that 3-hour phone call with him 2 nights ago before you left. He wasn’t sold on the arrangement of your marriage in the first place, and now you have to lie to a bunch of people, as if your relationship wasn’t already founded on it.

But you and Jin hashed it out; you’ve been talking about it ever since Taehyung made the bold suggestion of faking your romance in hopes that you and your husband would warm up to the idea. But the more you talked about it - more of what to do and what not to do and how to manage tricky situations - the more comfortable it felt. Seokjin doesn’t force anything, and he doesn’t make it awkward or intimidating.

“Just act normally,” Taehyung had said. “Just don’t overdo it, but you gotta crank up the romance machine sometimes, okay? I’ll coach you.”

And here you are with Jin, in the city of Nice, about to take the long drive to the Kims’ holiday chateau and see just how much faking you and he could stand to do.

You finally see the man holding up a placard of your names and he cheerfully greets your husband. They exchange pleasantries and Seokjin introduces you.

Emile shakes your hand and takes the pushcart, with Jin taking your carry-on and putting it over his shoulder. It has your laptop and tablet, and he seems determined to not let you carry anything other than your purse.

He helps Emile place the bags in the trunk, and if you were an outsider, you wouldn’t think that Seokjin is as rich and powerful as he is. There’s no demand for service and there’s even a vibe of simplicity.

He’s wearing his favorite loose white shirt over whitewashed jeans and a navy blue baseball cap, the one that Taehyung had customized for him as a thank you gift for helping out in the wedding.

One should just not know that he’s dressed in Louis Vuitton from head-to-toe, and the ‘simple’ vibe will fly. But still, he’s being his usual kind self, not complaining if he has to wait in line or dodge his way around the small crowd in the waiting area. He pulls you closer to him when you’re too distracted, though, and your smile softens at the gesture.

You all safely make it to the car and Emile asks if you’re both okay before he starts driving.

The ride to the commune of Montauroux is picture-perfect, with all the hills and quaint buildings and homes. The blue and pink skies add to the beauty; the temperature has increased a bit, enough to let you savor all that southeastern France has to offer.

“Still nervous?” Seokjin asks some time after you’ve both settled next to each other in your seats.

“A bit,” you say, with less conviction now as his soft smile begins to comfort you.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Hey, we said we can’t both be nervous at the same time,” you pout. “This is your territory so I get to be the one who’s nervous.”

“Fine,” he chuckles.

He then spreads out his left hand and urges you to take it, which you do. It’s one of the things you’ve “practiced” before coming here, knowing it's perhaps the simplest gesture you could do consistently that isn’t much, but enough to show that you’re a “couple.” The other one was a hug, which was a little awkward; the leaning on his shoulder and having his hand on your back were more bearable.

His hands are soft and his fingers are slender, clean, and quite frankly, attractive. You stare at them wrapped around your palm when he clears his throat, prompting you to turn to him.

“Weird?”

“Nah, just admiring your fingers,” you say. “They’re so pretty.”

“So I’ve been told,” he grins, and there’s no air of awkwardness at this, too. You’re playful and honest with each other; it's why it works.

You both sit in silence after, with Seokjin answering some of Emile’s questions while you look out the window, marveling at the rolling hills and sights of the ocean. Your husband has one hand on his phone, perhaps responding to emails, his other hand still wrapped up in yours. He thumbs your skin every few minutes, and it does alleviate your nervousness.

Just 2 weeks, you think, as the gate of the property comes into view and the reality of your situation hits you again; there’s no turning back from this anymore. You’ll try your best to not be nervous, but whenever you are, you just know that comfort is readily available - it just happens to be coming from your boss, your husband, and now, your fake lover.

You’re immersed in the scenery before you until Seokjin nudges your arm.

“We’re here,” he hums.

Your eyes widen and you feel like you’re in a dream, as the car enters the gate to reveal a stunning chateau, with white windows accentuating a cream stone exterior. The lawn is lined with olive and lemon trees and various flowers, and to the left, you eye a courtyard that looks beautiful even from afar.

Two more butlers await you at the entrance and start taking your things from the trunk. Seokjin hands over your carry-on to Emile, who doesn’t hold anything else.

“They’re all outside. Let’s meet them first and I can tour you later on,” your husband says.

You nod but he pulls you by your wrist before you start walking.

“It’s gonna be fine,” he reminds you, smiling softly. “We’re gonna be fine.”

You nod and smile back, taking his hand and walking past rooms and staircases and the large living room to get to the garden. Your mouth parts in awe; he definitely undersold the whole ‘it’s got pretty views’ statement that he gave before you left. It’s more than pretty; it’s absolutely breathtaking.

Sure, the pool looks refreshing, but it’s the hills and vineyards against the perfect, vast sky that takes your breath away, and you take in just how calm and picturesque the view is.

“Oh, my darlings,” Seokjin’s mother chirps, taking you into a hug before you even get to process her presence. “I’m so glad you’re both finally here. Our little angels have been asking when their Uncle Jjan will be making them their favorite pizza.”

She calls out to her grandkids - Sejeong’s children - who all squeal from the pool.

“Uncle Jjan! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!”

You both laugh at the little ones and their excitement. You’ve spent some time with them and like everyone in the Kim family, they love food.

“Alright, alright. I’ll make them for afternoon snacks, okay?” He yells back.

The rest of his family go over to both of you for hugs and questions of how the flight went. You and Jin left 2 days later than originally planned. Your father needed to undergo a minor procedure and you wanted to make sure that all was well before you left, and Jin wanted to be there with you, too.

It’s the early afternoon but you already feel sleepy. You don’t usually get to sleep well whenever you’re on a plane or even a bus or car ride, and it’s something that Jin picks up.

“Hey, why don’t you freshen up first and take a nap?” He turns to you. “I can tour you around later after we have that pizza. It’s been a long trip and I’m sure you’re tired.”

“I am,” you yawn. “What about you?”

“Grandmother asked me to go over the menu for my grandfather’s party this Saturday. I’ll just help her out a bit and prepare snacks and marinate meat for dinner.”

“You won’t rest?”

“I got to sleep on the plane, so I’m fine. You didn't, so you should rest. It’s gonna be a tiring first few days.”

“Hmm, maybe. But with this view, I’m sure I’ll be relaxed and not feel any tiredness whatsoever after today. But alright, take me to our room, then.”

He calls out to your family that you’ll just head to your room before he leads you back inside and up a stone staircase to the second floor. There are so many doors - all of them wooden but different in color and design - and he opens the teal colored one towards the end of the hallway.

It’s a spacious room with a large bed, a round table with 2 chairs, and a small balcony overlooking a quaint village. It’s been beautifully but simply restored given the exposed beams and wooden floors, and even with some modern luxuries added, the space is accented with antique furniture like the vintage standing fireplace, a wardrobe, and a small chandelier.

He chuckles at your shocked face, something he’s been seeing since you landed in Nice. Europe is a continent you’ve mentioned that you’ve always wanted to visit, and he’s happy that he at least got to help with that.

You hear him and you pout. “Yah, I’m still not used to all the luxuries connected to being your wife, so don’t laugh. This is all a lot to take in, and I feel bad and—”

“Don’t, please,” he sighs, holding you by your shoulders and motioning for you to look at him. “We can’t keep on thinking negatively about this. I mean, at least you like me as a person, right? So don’t feel like you’re undeserving or cruel or whatever. Treat this like your home, okay? I’ll feel more comfortable with you feeling comfortable here.”

“Okay,” you smile, knowing it’s all you need to hear. “I’ll take a shower and rest up. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“You better,” he winks then closes the door, leaving you alone with your thoughts, the initial fear and worry about this trip slowly melting away.

You head out of the bedroom to go outside, the 2-hour sleep you had having refreshed you enough. You spot Jin in the covered terrace that houses a fully-equipped kitchen, with Geonhoo and Ji-hoo sitting on the counter, and Sung-min being nursed by Sejeong.

“What’s Uncle Jjan making?” You ask, announcing your arrival.

Seokjin looks up at you with a grin, but it’s the little boy and little girl who answer excitedly.

“Cheese pizza! And Nutella pizza!” The middle child, Ji-hoo, says.

She’s got chocolate spread smudges on her face and her mother tells her older brother to wipe them off, but Geonhoo is too busy watching his uncle toss the dough to care.

“I’ll do it,” you offer, taking wipes from the table and going to Ji-hoo to clean her cheeks, cooing at her adorable smile that all the Kim siblings seem to have.

“Thank you, Auntie!” She squeals, before she stands on the counter, and you hold her up to keep her from falling.

“How was your sleep?” Jin asks as he continues to work.

“It was good, now I’m starving,” you smile, tiptoeing to take a peek of what he’s making.

He’s never made pizza for you before although he says he enjoys making it, and you can only imagine how good it’s going to be since there’s a stone pizza oven here.

“This’ll be done shortly, don’t worry. These kids are stressing me too much,” he chuckles, and once the little ones have settled down on actual chairs, you sit next to Sejeong who chats you up about the schedule for this week.

“We’re going to a nearby village tomorrow afternoon. You and Jin should join us,” she says. “Then there’s grandfather’s birthday the day after, and then we’re all gonna head to a beach on Sunday. And then you can have my brother for the rest of the week, unless you don’t wanna join him with my husband to play golf on Tuesday because I don’t, so I’m gonna go shopping instead,” she laughs.

“Shopping, definitely,” you chuckle, and from your periphery, you see Seokjin playfully shake his head.

“She thinks it’s boring,” he calls out.

“It is,” you and Sejeong say at the same time, earning you both a monologue on why it isn’t.

“He only got into it because he and Tae had this competition growing up of who did what better,” Sejeong narrates. “They competed in tennis, snowboarding, golf, gaming, car racing, and so many more. Even dancing, which Taehyung says he’s better at, and I kinda agree, although Jin isn’t that far behind.”

“Jin, you dance?!” Your eyes widen.

You know he’s talented in many things; he’s also said that much when he was drunk, which is when he usually gets cocky, but you didn’t know he danced, and a part of you feels giddy at the thought, not really able to imagine your usually serious and laid-back husband shaking his hips.

“A little,” he grins. “It’s the only thing I’ll admit that Tae is better at, but I obviously am the more handsome one.”

Sejeong rolls her eyes, and you can only imagine this to be an ongoing argument between the two men growing up that Sejeong had to suffer through.

“Hey, affirm me,” Jin calls your attention, and you stick out your tongue to say “yeah, whatever,” to his disappointment.

You all continue random conversations until Taehyung arrives then leaves after being told to call everyone else since the pizzas are ready. Pretty soon, the rest of the family - Jin’s parents, grandparents, Hyun-a, and Sejeong’s husband, Hyo-seop - all arrive, and you sit on the long dining table to enjoy the pizza that he’s prepared.

His grandparents haven’t stopped talking to you, asking how work’s been going and if Jin is spoiling you, and you respond that you’ve asked him not to, and you wouldn’t be lying.

Aside from the dress for the wedding, he doesn’t buy you things without your approval, and though he’s offered a few - like this YSL coat you saw at the mall or the Birkin bag that you commented looked nice - you’ve always turned him down. You’re not his lover, you always told him, and somehow, he just accepted it. You assumed his non-argument meant that he’d get Seri those things instead, and you never really minded.

Seokjin pours you another glass of grape juice and puts his arm on the back of your chair, though he still keeps his distance. The conversations continue but Jin excuses you both so he can tour you around.

“Let’s go before the sun sets. There’s a lot to see,” he suggests, so you follow him.

He takes you over the gate to a small space with lawn chairs that overlooks the town below. It’s the best place to watch the sunset, he says, although there are other spots in the property where you can enjoy it either way. He points which town is which, the direction of the beach you’re going to on Sunday, and even where he likes to go fishing. He then leads you to the other side where the courtyard is, then past it to a pond surrounded by trees, and then to the front of the chateau to enter again through the front door.

He talks a bit about the history of it, how your grandparents used to rent it as a summer home but fell in love with the property and the town that they eventually bought it, 10 years ago, adding their own touches to the place. They spend most of their time here over their other vacation homes, and you pass on asking what other properties they have.

You’re able to take in everything better and appreciate the little details and the elegant simplicity of it. Of course, it’s still a little overwhelming, with another living room, a sitting room, a study, and a separate library, a large kitchen and then another small one, and 7 other rooms across 3 floors. It’s stunning; you feel like a princess, almost - a fake one.

You both find yourselves in the spot where he said the sunset is best viewed, and you sit in silence for a while as you marvel at the sun dipping behind the hills.

“You’ll get used to it,” he says once the lights have turned on as the darkness envelops you.

“To what?”

“All this.”

“Jin, we’ve been married for 6 months, and though it’s an unconventional one, I’m still not used to it. Your grandparents were asking when we’re going to the jewelry store to get our matching bracelets, and that’s on top of the customized perfumes that your parents said we’d have. And those are also on top of the 4-day stay in Saint-Tropez.”

“Oh, those aren’t much,” he chuckles. “They were gonna get you a car. And that’s also on top of the property they were gonna get us to build our own holiday home.”

“What?!” You yell. “A car? Property? Where? What? Are you serious?”

“You know my family; of course I’m serious. But I told them to hold off on the car first because I didn’t want you to freak out. I just said your own car has sentimental value because it’s the first big thing you bought for yourself and they understood,” he explains. “But the property… yeah. They asked me where we wanted and I just reasoned that we still haven’t traveled much to find a place we’ve fallen in love with, given our circumstance, so that could wait, too. But the offer’s there. I mean, Sejeong and Hyo-seop have a house in Switzerland; Taehyung and Hyun-a are buying a house in Peru. It’s… it’s a thing.”

“A thing,” you snort, like it's so natural for a family to give those to their in-law. But then again, you’re a mere commoner and you ended up marrying into a rich family whose daily life screams of old money and luxury. “But thanks, though. It would’ve freaked me out too much, as if I’m not right now. Your family’s been so wonderful and welcoming, and I just–”

“Hey, what did I say about feeling bad about it?” He turns to you, knowing it’s what you were gonna say. He places his hand over yours as a comforting gesture.

“To not feel it,” you pout, but it’s hard, not when there are a lot of things to feel bad about.

There’s the lying, the use of all the stuff they’re giving you that you can’t say no to even if you try, and then there’s Seri. She’s the one who should be here, shouldn’t she? She was first. And she’s the one he wants, not you.

“Good. You’re here, in this stunning place like you said, and the least you could do is enjoy it,” he says. “I’m freaking out, too, but the least I can do is to also enjoy it. I’ve never had anyone here, or anywhere, actually,” he shares. “None of the girlfriends; no one was serious enough and well, I was always busy. Plus, I liked doing my leisure travels on my own. So what we can do for ourselves and each other is to just savor it. We don’t know when the next time will be.”

If there will be a next time, you think, and somehow that thought is what makes it all better.

“Sorry for being a downer,” you place your hand on top of his. “I’ll follow your lead. We’ll… do what we need to do, and talk it out if the guilty feeling creeps in again. Deal?”

“Deal,” he smiles, taking the hand you’ve now reached out for him. “But I hope that doesn’t happen again. I like just enjoying this with you.”

Seokjin doesn't know what compelled him to say that last line the way he did - grasping your hand and looking into your eyes that are reflecting the dim light from above.

But he means it. Your warmth has been nothing but comfort for him in just the past day of traveling. He feels terrible for several reasons, and he just wants to hold out without breaking as long as he can, just so you don’t have to feel any more terrible than you already do.

The dinner was a feast, and you’re thankful for your capacity to eat a generous amount of food and knowing exactly when to stop, not like Taehyung next to you who suddenly felt sick after inhaling his meal.

There were all types of skewers that Jin marinated earlier, there was pasta and pita that his mother made, salad that his grandfather prepared, and French macarons that were bought straight from Paris this morning as a welcome gift for you.

Jin squeezed your hand under the table in comfort after another show of his family’s special treatment, and the guilty feeling went away as quickly as it came.

You’re now heading back to your bedroom after walking down the hall to refill your jugs with water. Opening the door, you see a sight that causes you to yelp and turn around, trying to make sense of the view of your half-naked husband.

“Oh my god, Jin! What the hell!” You whisper-yell.

You feel a piece of cloth hit the back of your head, and you have a feeling that it’s his sock or shirt again because he likes doing that.

“That better be clean, Kim Seokjin, or else!”

“Yah! Are my blue pajamas that terrible!” He whisper-yells back. “I had these custom-made, you know?”

“The fuck?! I don’t care if you have Pink Bean or Spiderman or even your face on your pajamas. You’re naked.”

“Seriously? That’s why you’re freaked out?”

You hear his footsteps come closer and you panic and turn around, dodging him, but he follows your movement and you both turn and dodge each other until he finally holds your arms to keep you in place, and you do the silly thing of closing your eyes.

“I have my top on now. You can open your eyes,” he huffs.

Not trusting him, you poke where you feel his shoulder should be, and you at least don’t miss. He seems clothed, so you open your eyes as he asks.

“Am I that appalling?” He gasps. “And here I was, thinking I’d impress you with my body.”

You snort at him but you know he’s playing. You did catch a glimpse of a toned torso and bare shoulders that are way too pretty to be constantly covered up, but you’d never tell him that.

“I’m kidding, I’m sorry. But seriously, are you that freaked out with me being half naked? I mean—”

“You have a girlfriend, Jin.”

He covers your mouth with his hand and gives you a warning look. “Be quiet! Someone might be walking around the hallway. It’s still early.”

“Sorry,” you smile apologetically after he lets you go. “Well, you’re dressed now so it’s okay. I’ll just, uh, I’ll just wash my face. You should get some rest now.”

You place the jugs on the bedside table and head to the bathroom, the image of Jin in pajamas and the bed slightly unmade reminding you that this is the first time you’ll be sleeping on the same bed.

Obviously, on your wedding night, you didn’t have to. You had a suite so you slept in different rooms, and you’ve both been doing that ever since. Given that his family now believes you’re both in an actual relationship, you can’t do anything that will make them think otherwise.

There’s only a small wooden bench and one-person sofa in this room; the bed is queen-sized, and there’s really no other place to sleep in. You did talk about this, but it hadn’t dawned on you much earlier that there isn’t really a way out of this particular “couple thing” you have to do.

You take your time in the bathroom, hoping that when you go out, Jin’s already asleep.

Unfortunately, when you finish, he isn’t, and he seems to be waiting for you, as he’s propped up against the bed frame with his phone in hand. He turns to look at you and pats the space next to him.

“Is this your side?”

“I’m not choosy; that side is fine,” you say, slowly walking towards the empty spot.

“I’m a stiff sleeper, don’t worry.”

“Well, me too,” you smile. “Guess we won’t be waking up in an uncompromising position, then?”

“Probably not,” he assures, lying down now and waiting for you to settle in before he turns off the lamp. “That okay?”

You nod and start to feel comfortable. There’s only the light from the moon outside but it doesn’t bother you. From your periphery, you can see him wide awake, and you wonder how he’s still not passed out when it’s been a long and tiring 2 days.

“Is that what you’re worried about? I mean, with seeing me… like that? Because of Seri?” He asks in the quiet of your room.

He sounds worried, almost sad, so you turn to your side to face him, and he looks at you before he shifts to face you, too.

“Pretty much,” you respond with a sigh. “It just kinda feels unfair to her, seeing you like that, being a couple with you. And even now, sleeping next to you like this.”

“She knows about all this,” Jin says.

“Doesn’t mean she’s okay with it,” you reason.

“Quite frankly, I’m not sure what she’s okay or not okay with anymore,” Jin responds, with a tinge of sadness in his voice. “When I told her what happened that day, she profusely apologized for even calling me. Then she didn’t bat an eye when I said what Tae proposed about us faking during this trip. She even said that we have to do what we have to do to convince my family, and to not worry about what she’d feel because she understands what we need to do.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Honestly? Relieved,” he huffs. “Every time I say I should be better for her, I just… I don’t know, it’s just been easier to trust and believe her that it’s all okay, the way it was easier to trust and believe you at the beginning that being with her was fine with you. But that also makes me feel terrible. Especially because she and I, uh, we haven’t been intimate in a while.”

Your eyes widen and you curse yourself for reacting, and he sighs again, apologizing for being too candid, fearful that he might’ve made you uncomfortable.

“It’s okay. I just… didn’t expect it, I guess? Well, you’ve been busy, but you still see her, don’t you?”

“I try. I’ve only had her at our guesthouse a few times and mostly just for dinner. She’s still her usual kind-eyed, cheerful self and that helps, you know? There’s no added stress of being with her even if she’s a big part of why I’m also stressed,” he chuckles, the irony and stupidity of it all not lost on him.

You see him hesitate a bit, and you think back to your agreement that both of you can’t be stressed and nervous at the same time, so you give him a smile and say that it’s okay, that he can be the worried and honest one this time, and you’ll comfort him as much as you can.

“It’s kind of more real now, you know? The consequences of my decisions then,” he admits, dismissing you when you insist that it was both of your decisions. “It was all me. You had to make one decision; I had to make two - agree with the arranged marriage or not, and stay with her or not. And I don’t know if I’d done the right thing, of not breaking up with her if I’d just end up doing this to her, too.”

You can’t imagine how difficult it must be for him, having to think of 2 other people aside from himself all the time, but perhaps it’s the fact that he gets hurt regardless, and he’d be the responsible one if Seri gets hurt, assuming she isn’t already. You hate that you weren’t harder on him, that you somehow enabled him and added to the complexity of the situation.

Yet given all this, you truly believe that his heart is in the right place. He didn’t want to hurt Seri, and he doesn’t want to hurt you, too. And he’s stuck in a situation where every move he makes will contribute to someone losing in the end, and there’s a high chance that it would be him.

So you try to lessen it somehow, and for all the times that he’d been the one to comfort and calm you down, you know more than anything, he needs you to do that for him, even if he won’t deliberately say it.

You place your hand over his that’s settled in between you, and you give him an assuring smile. “We’ll be alright, Jin. You’ll be alright. You have me, okay? And we’ll figure it out. We’ll take it one day at a time, and I won’t be weird about any of this anymore, I promise,” you say, realizing now that your over-cautiousness perhaps adds to his own stress.

“Thank you,” he smiles tenderly, as if a big weight has been lifted off his shoulders somehow. “That really means a lot.”

You’ve accepted a long time ago that Seokjin is objectively handsome. But as you open your eyes, being greeted with his sleeping form and the light from the sun casting a glow on his face, you can fully accept that this man is unfairly, breathtakingly, and unbelievably handsome.

You’re immune to his professional look. Though you remember gasping when you first saw him 8 years ago, you can say that his immaculate suits and slicked-back hair is a natural occurrence already. In your 6 months of marriage, the most casual he’d look would be when he’s in jeans and a dress top or a simple shirt under a luxurious jacket. You got a whiplash last night seeing him in pajamas because even at home, you’d spend most of your time in your office clothes, not seeing each other much when you’re in your sleepwear.

And every one of those times, he always looked so well-put together with his flawless skin and pretty locks. But right now, the man is asleep with but a few strands of hair out of place, yet he still looks so flawless - angular yet soft features, satin-like plump lips, and no scar or mark on his face, as if he doesn’t have pores at all, and it kind of blows your mind away.

You let out a deep breath and it’s what prompts him to wake up, as he opens his eyes briefly to see you gazing at him, before he chuckles.

“What’s that look?” he mumbles, shifting a little bit but still facing you. You both are in the same position as you were when you fell asleep last night.

“Just… in awe of your natural beauty,” you answer honestly.

“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day,” he responds, eyes still closed. “But thanks, I’m glad you finally acknowledged it.”

He smiles a little, and you can’t help but poke his cheeks at the movement. “You also do have bread cheeks,” you say. “I never really noticed it up close.”

“It’s because you don’t look at me enough,” he says too quickly.

“You should smile more.”

“I do,” he defends. “I smile a lot when I’m with you.”

You freeze on your spot and you’re glad he’s still half asleep so at least he didn’t see you, and you’re hoping maybe he’d forget what he said.

“Sorry, was that weird?” He turns to you, more awake now. “I mean it, though. You're charming sometimes. It’s quite refreshing, especially since I know how serious you are at work.”

“Only sometimes?” You arch a brow.

“Yup. Other times you give me a headache.”

You playfully smack his arm and he laughs, hugging the pillow that he held onto all night and looking at you again. “I’m kidding.”

“Can I poke your cheek? Just wanna know if you’re real.”

He nods and just takes your quirks as they come, and you poke his cheek and squeeze it for good measure. “Yup, your face is real. Seriously, you and Taehyung look out-of-this-world. And if it wouldn’t freak your sister out, I’d say the same thing about her. She’s stunning, Jin. You all are. I’d be happy if I made babies with a man with half of your genes.”

“That’s a big ask, considering there’s no one like me but sure, I wish you luck.”

“God, you’re annoying even in the morning,” you frown, continuously pinching him again until he’s laughing uncontrollably.

It’s a sound that you didn’t realize until now that you want to hear more of, because at least for this moment, you know he’s worry-free, and that right now, he’s got enough reasons to laugh.

You both freshen up and head to the smaller of the two indoor kitchens for a late breakfast. Everyone else had gone ahead, Emile says, and you’re expected to leave in a few hours for a trip to town for lunch, to walk around, and then to have dinner at Jin’s grandmother’s favorite restaurant.

Breakfast is your favorite, and you’ve always enjoyed your morning meals during your work trips because of the various types of food you get to enjoy. Today isn’t any different. The cook prepared a serving of French omelet and radish on a baguette, and the colors are so inviting. You feel like you’re in heaven, and paired with the coffee, you really feel like you are.

You and Jin talk a bit with Emile then head outside with a cup of hot chocolate each, enjoying the late morning breeze. You both answer some emails and then decide that tonight would be work night, so you’ll enjoy the rest of the day with his family and not worry about much else.

It’s 2 hours later when you’re all in the driveway, waiting for the cars, and the wind sweeps in and messes Jin’s hair a little. Dressed in a plain shirt tucked in tailored pants, he looks like your regular boy-next-door, except in really expensive clothes. With Ji-hoo in his arms, you fix his hair for him as he tries to shake it off his eyes.

“You should just wear my cap,” you offer, a favorite accessory of yours, which currently matches your loose top over denim skirt ensemble.

He nods and you put it on him, and you suddenly don’t know which look you like on him better - when he’s in a baseball cap or when his forehead is exposed. Either way, he looks handsome, a thought that you’re more comfortable now admitting.

“Is it okay?” He asks.

You nod. “Ji-hoo, does Uncle Jjan look good?”

“Yes!” She squeals, and when Jin smiles, you get that urge to poke his bread cheeks. So you do.

His smile doesn’t leave his face. All throughout the 30-minute ride to the nearby town with his hand over yours in the small space between you two, he’s smiling or laughing - at the view outside or something you said.

During lunch, you’re both deconstructing your dishes and talking about making them at home, too. And as you stroll around the plaza, you both get lost in your own world as you enter stores that sell salt, herbs, and different types of cheese. So many times, Taehyung has to call Jin and ask where you’d both gone because he couldn’t find you.

“Ah, we should probably shop on our own,” you laugh, clutching the bags you have but wanting to buy some more.

“We should. We can do it on Monday, or after the wedding. There are many nearby towns and farmer’s markets we can go to,” Jin says, sounding more excited now. “Even Saint-Tropez has good stuff.”

You smile widely at him, ecstatic yourself. It’s what you enjoy doing the most. During your work trips all over Asia, you make sure to always go to the markets and buy whatever ingredients or food-related items you can. You find it very therapeutic - especially when there are free tastes - and you just get lost in the scents and ideas you have about what you’ll make with them. The fact that you get to do this with Jin is something that excites you, given that he loves food as well.

The rest of the day goes by without a hitch. You go to a nearby park for the kids to play and then find a lake where you all watch the sunset while eating ice cream. You’re all taken to a restaurant for dinner with Seokjin’s parents and grandparents, and after watching a street performer play jazz music that had Taehyung - the romantic that he is - asking Hyun-a for a dance, prompting others to do as well, you all go home, tired and satisfied.

After your nightly routines and getting some work done in your rooms for a few hours, you’re now in bed with Jin, in the same position as you were last night.

“Today was fun,” you say, recalling how you and Jin bickered in every store on which item to get that he just bought everything you both wanted. “It didn’t feel like we had to fake anything, actually.”

“Yeah?” He smiles, clutching his favorite pillow that he brings everywhere he goes.

You nod. “It’s like we were just being us, except your sister was there smirking at us every time you contradicted what I said,” you laugh. “But yeah, it felt natural, like how we’d act at home without the added pressure.”

“Well that’s good, since I felt that, too,” he says. “But then again, the party’s tomorrow and that’s gonna require us to do more. To, uh, act more husband-wife, you know?”

“I do,” you smile, feeling more comfortable. “But I feel like we’ll be fine. I mean, it’s a good thing you’re handsome. It’s easy to be all dreamy eyes for you.”

You laugh at his shocked face, and to prove your point, you pinch his cheeks like how you find yourself wanting to do every time. Then you cup it with your hand and caress it with your thumb, sharing your warmth and tenderness in a way only you can as you look at his deep-set eyes. “Good night, Jin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You settle back to your position and close your eyes. And while you’re off to dreamland, as your soft snores had started not long after, Jin is left with wide eyes and his heart in his throat.

That was probably the most intimate, non-fake thing you’ve done. Why did he get goosebumps at that? And why did he like it?

You wake up the next morning feeling refreshed. You easily got over the jet lag and you’re thankful for that; you were told to treat this like your vacation that you rarely ever take, so you want to rest and enjoy as much as possible.

Finding an empty space beside you, you wonder where Seokjin had gone. You’re about to give him a call when you spot something on the round table, and your face softens at the spread before you - a variety of pastries and a pot of coffee with a note on it.

Grandfather asked to go fishing, it reads. The kitchens are packed since they’re preparing for the party so have these first. I’ll be back soon.

The note makes you feel cared for. Jin is a closet sweetheart, you’re now learning, that is, until he has to ruin it with something written at the bottom.

P.S. I woke up early because of a natural alarm - your snore. Hahahaha.

What a dick, you snort, but it’s Jin - he surprises you with how sweet he is but he annoys you to no end. And even this feels natural - just like yesterday was, just like last night’s caress of his cheek was.

You don’t know what prompted you to do something so intimate as that, but a part of you wanted to affirm him again.

He seemed so care-free during your visit to the village. Neither of you seemed to feel bad or guilty, but you realized that it’s when you’re both back in bed, without the need to fake or do anything for show, that he allows himself to feel vulnerable and worried, and you wanted to allay whatever his fears were by telling him that it’s all okay, and somehow a tender touch seemed right. You closed your eyes right away in fear of what he looked like since it felt too intimate, but some time after, when you took a peek, he had a relaxed look on his face, and that’s all you really wanted.

You proceed to have your breakfast over a call with your parents and Hoseok. You promptly fill them in, assure them again that everything is okay with you and Jin and his family, and then promise to send them more photos.

You’re now doing your makeup, readying for the party when a knock on the door gets your attention. Jin enters in a bathrobe after having taken a shower elsewhere so that the fish smell doesn’t follow in your bedroom.

“Hey,” you say. “How was fishing?”

“Ah, it was so fun. We caught some huge trout and carp,” he chirps, taking his phone from his bag and showing you.

He’s standing so close - freshly bathed with his damp hair and natural, masculine scent, and there’s something oddly comforting about how he is right next to you.

He’s animatedly talking about almost falling off the boat when he realizes you’re in the middle of fixing up.

“Ah, sorry. I should tell you about it later,” he chuckles. “I’ll just go dress up in, uh, in the bathroom.”

“It’s okay,” you say. “I’ll do my makeup there so you can comfortably change here,” picking up your things before he can say anything.

He lets you know when he’s done and you exit the bathroom, and at this point you should just really get used to seeing Jin in non-business clothes and looking stunning every time.

“I didn’t realize we’re matching,” he smiles, taking in your mustard-colored midi dress with a bare back.

He’s wearing a light orange short-sleeved linen shirt and white tailored pants, with his sunglasses perched on the top button of his blouse, the neckline lower than what you’re used to. He’s already styled his hair, side-swiped with a bit of his forehead exposed.

“We are,” you smile back. “But do I look okay? Jimin helped me pick out this dress. I didn’t want to overcompensate with something fancy but you said your grandparents’ friends and your other relatives are coming so I didn’t want to look too simple.”

“You look great,” he says, meaning it.

You look chic, with your hoop earrings and the scarf on your hair. It’s simple but classy. He’s heard you freak out a few times before this trip about what you were going to wear, not wanting to look too plain in front of people who highly regard his family. And though he was a tad bit upset that you rejected his offers to buy you clothes, he’ll admit that he couldn’t have chosen anything better than what you have on right now.

There’s no teasing tone or a hint of uncertainty in his voice, and you like this Jin - the comfortable and assuring version, and it does a lot to your confidence as you get on with the day.

“Shall we, Mr. Kim?” You say, reaching out your hand.

“We shall, Mrs. Kim.” He winks, takes your hand, and leads you out the door.

The garden is buzzing with last-minute preparations and guests who arrived early, socializing already with the rest of your family. Jin takes you around, his hand on your back guiding you to which relative you should greet first.

Some of them are familiar, as you’ve seen them during your wedding but you were still too stunned to let it all register. They seem happy to see you again. It’s one thing that you appreciate about their family - sure, they love their money, but they aren’t assholes about it. Jin had said that your parents and grandparents easily cut off relatives who take advantage of them and other people, so you know that those who are here at least respect their family to extend that to you, an in-law, who doesn’t come from privilege like them.

You walk around with your hand on his arm, following his lead, greeting guests and engaging with them in casual talk as you practiced in your head.

It’s not until Jin’s mother comments on it that you begin to rethink it.

“Oh, darling. You and Jin look so formal,” she giggles. “This isn’t a business event, it’s a family event. Just act natural.”

You know she means well; Jin assures you that, too. And you get it - you and your husband aren’t supposed to be playing a part; you’re family, and this is a family event. But it got you nervous that maybe you’re overthinking it, about how to act and what to say to somehow feel accepted, like you want to convince them that you’re indeed a couple when it should just come out naturally.

So you slide your hand off his arm and loosely grip his awaiting hand. “That better?” You smile nervously.

“It is,” he tightens his hold.

He leads you to your table for the plated lunch and just like all your meals so far, you can’t be any more satisfied. From the bouillabaisse to the beef tartare, the duck confit dish to the salmon en croute, and the sparkling wine and cheese plate to cap it all off. Chocolate soufflé was served shortly after with coffee.

It was all so delicious that you kept squeezing Seokjin’s hand after every first bite of the dish, earning you a laugh each time.

“I am having an intense foodgasm right now,” you whispered in his ear. “It’s so embarrassing how many times I moaned internally at how good it is.”

He’d choked on his sorbet then, unable to keep his laughter in at how serious you were. He disregarded the slight goosebumps at what you’d said, and how low your voice sounded, and how close you were, and instead focused on your bickering after, and the way you were planning on recreating some of the dishes from this trip when you go back home.

You socialize some more after. You got engaged in deep conversation with some of his cousins, before being pulled by his grandmother to meet some of the friends she made here. All the while, you constantly find Jin and are surprised to see him looking at you before your eyes even settle on him. You know it’s his subtle way of comforting you, and calming down becomes immediate for you.

Later in the afternoon, the entertainment begins. Jin’s grandmother starts with a toast, and then she proceeds to serenade him with his favorite song. Then his father, who apparently plays the violin, is joined with Sejeong, who apparently plays the harp, to give a classical rendition of a lullaby that old Mr. Kim used to sing to them.

Next is Taehyung, whom you’d expected would perform because of the many times you’d heard him burst into song after a long, tiring meeting. He takes the mic and starts singing a slow version of “Thorn,” which Jin whispers next to you is one of his grandfather’s favorite karaoke songs.

Hyun-a is blushing and you’re in awe as Taehyung’s low tone transitions to a high one, and you’re about to tell your husband how amazed you are when the younger Kim calls on his brother during the instrumental.

“Hyung used to act too cool for this song when we’d sing it with Grandfather before,” Taehyung says. “But all of us love it. So hyung, please join me. I’ll admit that you sing the second verse much better,” he winks.

“Ugh, that brat. I told him I didn’t want to do this,” Jin groans from next to you.

You’re too stunned to say anything because while you assumed that Jin is good at a lot of things, you didn’t think he was good at everything. He’d never mentioned being musically inclined; heck, you didn’t even know he danced.

Everyone calls on Jin and he doesn’t seem to have a choice, so you squeeze his hand in comfort and he starts walking to the center. He starts a bit shy, complaining between lines and playfully smacking Taehyung who keeps teasing and whispering things in his ear. But when the chorus, that’s much higher, comes, you’re blown away.

Leave it to Jin to do his best even if he wasn’t amenable to the impromptu performance in the first place. His voice is rich and warm and sultry and you’re left stunned with how natural he seems at it. You wonder when he started singing, and when he does it, and who he sings to.

“I didn’t know Jin could sing like that,” Sejeong’s husband tells you. “He’s so good!”

“Yeah, me too,” you chuckle, wondering what else you don’t know about him, and why suddenly learning more seems exciting for you.

Taehyung and Seokjin give short messages to their grandfather before they return to their seats, and you can’t help but playfully smack your husband’s arm in shock.

“Yah! Where did that come from!” You squeal. “You didn’t tell me you could sing!”

“You never asked,” he chuckles, suddenly looking shy.

You notice his reddened ears and blushing, puffy cheeks, your hands cupping them mindlessly and you laugh at the heat you feel.

“I’m like this when I get nervous,” he explains, suddenly feeling more flustered at the feel of you like that. “You might not believe it but I’m not too fond of being in the spotlight.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have known because one, you love attention,” you tease, and he glares at you before you continue. “And two, you’re a natural, so why wouldn’t you be comfortable in the spotlight?”

“Another compliment from you?” He feigns shock, and he catches your wrist before you can smack him again, and he pinches your nose in another act of retaliation, earning a groan from you. You both end up laughing, anyway.

“You’re so dramatic,” you say, massaging your wrist.

“Oh shit, did I hurt you?” He suddenly looks worried, taking your hand to inspect it.

“No, you didn’t. It’s fine,” you smile.

The performance portion ends with Geonhoo and Ji-hoo doing their own dance number, as choreographed by Taehyung. Everybody is cheering and taking photos of the brother-sister tandem who’s plucking flowers from different areas of the space - as suggested by Jin - and giving them to their great-grandfather. It’s a lovely moment, as it all ends with photos with the entire family, including you.

Jin holds you by the waist the whole time, asking if you’re okay in whispers, and his soft eyes do make you feel like things are the way they should be, even if it’s all temporary.

Before you know it, it’s time for dinner, and it’s Korean food this time. Plates of premium grilled meats, seaweed soup, tofu stew, stir-fried seafood, black bean noodles, and an array of side dishes are served per table, and it suddenly feels like home.

The party continues, and you’re thankful for the chilly air that makes you feel less hot, as the alcohol starts to do its thing. You could tell that people are slowly getting inebriated, as they’re more unhinged and unfiltered this time - teasing each other, laughing loudly, and Jin, well, apart from his red cheeks, he’s a little more loose yet a little closer, too.

The live band continues to play music and Taehyung has taken the microphone again, this time dedicating a love song to Hyun-a, causing her to blush and join him on the floor for a dance while he continues to serenade her. Other couples join them, including your grandparents, parents, and Sejeong and Hyo-seop, leaving you and Jin on your table.

One of Jin’s uncles pats him as he makes his way to the dance floor, so you and Jin have no choice but to follow.

“Don’t be shy,” he teases. “I won’t embarrass you with my exceptional dance skills.”

You laugh and hold his hands, letting him twirl you around, as the song is lively and upbeat. You exchange embarrassing solo dance moves, and it’s probably the alcohol, but he moves well and you’re not too shy yourself.

That is, until a slow song starts playing, and you know it’s not a good idea to leave because of this.

Jin places his hand on your waist, a little lower than normal, and he steps closer to you. “Is this okay?”

“Of course,” you smile, trying to temper your beating heart because any time a guy as handsome as Jin asks you that with his deep-set eyes gazing at you, it’s kind of impossible for it not to be.

He’s captivating as he is intriguing, and you realize all the different layers of this man are hiding underneath, waiting to be shown, or maybe be accepted. He did say he’s more than just his looks, and though you know he meant to prove that he’s a competent professional, you also know it means more - he lets himself loose and have fun, he’s caring and comfortable, he’s dependable and protective. And this once, you allow yourself to be a little jealous of Seri, the one who probably gets to see all these versions of him.

With your one hand on his chest and the other on his palm, you feel safe, and the way he looks so beautiful right now isn’t because you’re tipsy. This is Jin, and you get to appreciate him from up close.

You almost think you’re imagining the ringing sound in your ear until you realize it’s the forks that are clanking against the glasses - as initiated by Taehyung - signaling the couples to kiss. It used to be a familiar sound, as during your wedding, you heard it a lot during the evening, and you always found a way to dodge it or not make it last. But tonight, you don’t mind, really.

“Should we?” You nervously ask him.

“Okay,” he smiles, leaning over to you and closing his eyes.

You follow, feeling his plush lips against yours for longer than a second, unlike your first kiss. It’s still quick, but you still feel its lightness and tenderness. He pulls away and you’re partly glad he does.

Opening your eyes, he has this softness in his and a shy smile, but then in classic Jin fashion, he ruins it again.

“Hmm, your lips are actually soft. It felt dry the first time,” he furrows his brows.

“Yah! Don’t be mean! I was probably dying of nervousness that time,” you say, tickling him again, causing him to yelp and slightly ruin the mood for the other couples as well.

Jin glances around to see how the others are, and in doing so, he catches sight of his mother and her soft, almost proud smile. He hates that he’s lying to his family because he knows just how much they’ve been waiting for him to introduce someone, to show that there’s someone he loves and who loves him back. But quite honestly, he hasn’t really found one, and the fact that he’d kept Seri a secret as long as he has should say enough.

But somehow, doing this with you and hearing your laugh doesn’t make it all too bad. At least, he doesn’t have to fake this.

He doesn’t have to fake telling you that you look great; he doesn’t have to fake being protective or worried; he doesn’t have to fake his smile or having fun around you, because those all come so naturally. And he doesn’t have to fake being okay with the kiss, because he is; the way he heaved a sigh says enough, too, perhaps.

He may be lying to them, but he’s not lying to himself, and that’s a relief that only you could give.

Seokjin hugs you, catching you by surprise. “Thank you,” he whispers, and somehow, those 2 words say so much more.

What is he thankful for? You don’t ask; you’re not sure if you’re ready. What you’re sure of, though, is that today was amazing. And if it’s an indication of how the rest of your stay here would be, then you wouldn’t mind it at all.

Later that night, you and Jin fall asleep after another one of your laughter fits. And the next morning, you wake up a lot closer than before - your heads slightly touching, and your hand on top of his.

Series Masterlist

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