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thevixenwitch · 5 months

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Having some thoughts on paganism and loss of identity this holiday season.

It felt so easy to study paganism back when I was younger, and while I wouldn't ever call myself a Wiccan these days, I did always appreciate the concept of a year and day of study. I feel like I have to start from scratch after being separated from my community and not feeling inspired for a year or two now really... it gets overwhelming to sort through what's problematic, what's realistic, what's a misrepresentation. At every corner I see Llewellyn books that I know are more likely to contain appropriation than not, and sometimes it feels like that's all there is.

Add in being ND and finding it extremely difficult to focus when there's SO much information out there. I want to find my family's roots, but don't know enough to search for family trees, and am not super excited to sell access to my DNA. I've always been told we were Scottish, but it feels bad to research too deeply into any tradition without knowing our actual connection.

I know what I am, and I'm trying to start by reconnecting to those roots. But also what I am was banned from the family Christmas for years and very traumatized from the treatment as a non-Christian for many years. I find myself deeply missing my community in Texas, who are more family than many I've had even if I have been too traumatized to be able to express that. I don't know what family should or does look like... I don't know what a holiday should look like, either.

I think of family holidays as a teen and I think of my mom telling me I wasn't welcome, being told I was going to burn in hell, who even knows why at that point. Too queer, too mentally ill, too weird, too bad for reputations, too many questions.

I find myself looking forward to things I cant do anymore; community Sabbats at my previous local UU, PNO, Spirit Haven... things just aren't the same here. It's hard to find purchase on unstable ground... churches on every street corner never change, but the pagan community here is different and we just haven't found our place yet. There's a public Norse Altar in the works, but they've been vandalized and stolen from in the process... I'm so wary of anyone calling themselves Wiccan with all the appropriation and casual racism I've witnessed over the years, and it's hard to know who's put in the work to be aware and deconstruct.

I'd love if anyone could make reading suggestions for renewed study. I am open to Celtic, learning about anything Scottish, Norse, and Greek, as well as modern American-influenced traditions and how they've evolved!

#pagan #holidays #yule #winter solstice #christmas #paganism #norse paganism #celtic paganism #greek paganism #scottish paganism #american paganism #tw family #tw holidays

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cormancatacombs · 2 years

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Trying to hash things out with a family member who refuses to acknowledge how they’ve hurt you is like bashing your head against a wall and expecting the wall to bleed first.

#toxic family #family trauma #tw toxic family #biological family vs logical family #tw head trauma #trauma #vent post #tw family #cant sleep #family bullshit #darvo

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selectivechaos · 9 months

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tw ableism, family mention ⚠️

*horrified voice* do you like… not even talk to your parents?

*horrified voice* are you like… unable to speak?

*trying to comfort their own ableist sensibilities* you just don’t like speaking much, right?

*trying to comfort their own ableist sensibilities* you’re just a man of few words. bet you’ve got a loud mind, right?

*kind voice* but i really like your voice.

*annoyed voice* do you hate me or something? is this silent treatment?

*condescending voice* use your mouth words like an adult.

🌹note: sometimes violence looks like compliments, comfort, and encouragement that you didn’t ask for and don’t need.

ableism, among other things, is the assumption that if you get enough encouragement, love and hope, then you can have a happy ever after in which you are abled, and the association of your worth with this.🌹

#tw family #tw ableism #ableist bullshit #selective mutism #situational mutism #social anxitey #sm tag #fuck ableists

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cats-and-confusion · 7 months

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My dad's mad at me because I threw a pack of sticky notes at his face really hard when he invaded my boundaries to try and tease me. Like ohhhh my gooood it's almost like there was a major event early in my life that made me really fucking uncomfortable when people touch me without permission. Don't get mad at me for retaliating when you knowingly crossed my boundaries FOR FUN. I don't care if that’s "just what you do" you've been living with me my whole life you were THERE when my uncle was arrested for molesting me, how are you not connecting these fucking dots. And then you DON'T wanna talk about it to rectify the mistake and communicate our fucking boundaries?? You didn't even fucking apologize you just got pissy and frustrated at me. I apologized. Fuck this, man

#tw sa mention #tw childhood trauma #tw dad mention #personal vent #vent post #tw vent #tw child sa #tw ptsd #tw crossing boundaries #tw parents #tw family #tw child abuse mention #heavy vent

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velvtcollarbones · 6 months

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Me: No one fuels my self hatred better than me

My mother:

#tw ana diary #tw ana shit #tw disordered eating #tw restriction #ana trigger #ed relapse #tw ed rant #@na trigger #tw mia #tw ed but not sheeran #tw eating issues #disordered eating thoughts #ed disorder #tw family

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aestheticemi01 · 4 months

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Small ✨holiday✨ reminders;

It is okay to not feel excited about the holidays. The holidays can be a very hard time to go through, especially if/when you don’t feel excited or very cheerful at all. Many people have trauma related to the holidays, some people have nobody to celebrate it with, some people are experiencing their first holiday all by themselves, some people have lost loved ones this year and some people just don’t like Christmas or any other “festive” things. That is more than okay, and it does not make you weird! ��

You definietly don’t have to follow traditions. This time of year, there are many traditions and things that you are “expected” to do… Screw that! Do whatever you wish to do. Make your own, new traditions that YOU like! And it is totally okay if you don’t want to do anything. Just please take care of yourself ♡

The most important thing is that YOU are feeling as comfortable as possible, especially if this time of year triggers some bad feelings/memories inside of you. Try to do tiny things that makes you happy every day. You only deserve the good things ♡

Everyone seems to have such high expectations when it comes to the holidays. Sometimes, it can put a big pressure on people to “enjoy” things, even if they don’t really enjoy it. Screw the expectations! Try to take one moment at a time, even if it is insanely difficult ♡

Of course, family is important, but do you know what is more important? Your mental health. If you feel awful when visiting family, please reconsider your holiday plans. If your family makes you feel awful, it is not worth it! You deserve so much better. Consider if you need a “timeout” from your family this year. Or, if you are visiting your family, you can ALWAYS take as many, tiny breaks throughout the days if you need it. Remember your me-time, even during the (sometimes) hectic holidays!♡

Last but not least, please take care of yourself! You matter so much. If you find yourself struggling more than usual, do not hestitate to reach out! You deserve to get all of the help you need! ♡

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missmeinyourbones · 3 months

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hi friends i love you all and am wishing you good days

#tw death #tw family #i am going through a tough time #found out my grandfather passed this weekend #and it’s a very strange family dynamic in general #so grieving and wrapping my head around it has been quite the struggle #but i will be ok!#i love you all and im sorry for not writing a ton

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luolite · 9 months

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STEM father Vs Humanities daughter

(They both have autism)

#this dynamic is actually the best and horrific #literally since getting diagnosed my parents have slowly realised they too have the learned disabilities #autism #stem #humanities #arts #adhd #auadhd #actually autistic #actually adhd #family #tw family

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lorkai · 2 years

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Can you make the brothers and the dateables react to MC that has family issues? I had a really bad family issues and I want a little comfort :') (I'm sorry if my english are bad 😿)

A/N: First of all my dear your english is not bad, it’s quite perfect so don’t worry about. And I'm sorry that you have to go through this, I hope this helps you get through whatever it is you're going through right now. I've written for Dateables for now, but I'll be doing part two with the brothers. I hope you like it!

TW: Implied abuse (?) on Simeon’s part, implied spoilers for chapter 16, family issues, hurt/comfort

Diavolo can understand you since he has problems with his father. He still blames himself for his mother's death, but it's not something he could have avoided at all, he was just an innocent baby. And this innocent baby grew up to be an anxious child, ready to fulfill any and all harsh expectations his father had for him and his future. He grew up not having the childhood he should have had, growing up without friends and carrying all the pressure and guilt of it until the present millennia without anyone knowing about it.

But during the first few weeks on the exchange program he recognizes that unlike anyone else you don't say anything about your family or express any desire to return to the human world, almost as if you had no one you missed. It's weird, but maybe you're just pretending to be strong or pretending not to miss you so you don't fall apart in front of everyone. You can't come home for a year and it's better to fake it than complain all year, right? Wrong. Diavolo finds out about your family issues when the accident with Belphegor happens, Barbatos reports to him about it and they both feel a conflict within them growing. Technically you can't stay in Devildom forever, because you're a human and this place is only for demons, but neither of them wants to send you back.

However you are an exception to the rule and when the year is over he lets you stay in the castle. Regardless of the relationship you share, whether platonic or romantic, Diavolo will spoil you a lot and will always tell you how proud you made him today, even if you did something small and insignificant in your opinion. He is sincere with his compliments and always offers tips for you to improve what you need, he always helps you too and loves the lazy moments you spend in the garden, drinking tea with Barbatos or playing with Cerberus. Or even when you vent to him about your family situation.

Now if you want to go back to the human world, then you can bet he will give you an amazing home no matter what country you live in. Or of course, if you like, he can let you stay on the island he owns. He knows that you will be protected there and that fills his heart with hope, that no one else will be able to harm you and you can overcome all your traumas while resting in a place far away from your home.

⠀⠀⠀

Barbatos always knew there was something wrong with you, despite not knowing what specifically. Maybe it was your quiet and shy way or your rude and explosive way, maybe it was the independent way you had or the way you waited for people to tell you exactly what to do that made him think your childhood might not have been the best. Anyway, after the incident with Belphegor, Barbatos took it upon himself to make you smile more, to make you laugh more and to make you feel genuine affection and this butler here doesn't back down when he decides he wants something.

He will make you smile, he will tear down your walls and he will be your new foundation, just like he is the foundation of Diavolo.

Barbatos never had a childhood literally. But he understands how painful it is to grow up in the midst of an unstable environment, not knowing how to act and if you want to vent, know that he will always be here for you. To listen to you, to wipe your tears and offer you the best hug you've ever had, Barbatos will validate your feelings and support you in each of your decisions, he will celebrate your achievements and always help you in whatever you need. You are one of the dearest people to him and he wants to see you being your best, he wants to see you at the top and most of all, he wants to see you happy.

So when the exchange program finally ends Barbatos takes you under his wing and starts actively participating in your hobbies, and if you want to learn how to cook and bake? The man is over the moon to teach you everything he knows, all his secrets and recipes are passed on directly to you. And the moments when you cook together is one of the most special for both of you and it's also in the kitchen that you always have the most sincere and profound conversations.

⠀⠀⠀

Solomon understands your pain in a different way since so many years have passed and he is unable to remember his parents, their faces and their voices too, it's all an inconsistent blur in the memory he has. But the pain of having a dear bond cut by a disagreement he can understand all too well. He lost his dear apprentice to a silly disagreement, he lost people because of his ideals and he understands how lonely it is to be alone, how it hurts to see everyone else and imagine yourself in their place just for a day to make the pain go away, to be able to smile and have someone who supports you without doubting your potential. So yes, he may not be the quickest to realize the precarious situation you're in, but he's one of the quickest to act and help you get back on your feet.

If he can help it you will never feel lonely or anything like that as he will always be there for you with the excuse that humans stay together in Devildom and while that is true he doesn't want to leave you alone with your thoughts and bad memories. He wants the time you spend together to be enough to replace the other memories you have of humans, he wants to teach you the gentleness and kindness, the love and affection of a friendship.

It is very common for you and Solomon to be on video call during the night or for you to skip class when the pressure is too great on you. He loves sneaking you up to Rad's roof and having you lie on his lap so he can play with your hair or entertain you by telling you some story of forgotten ages as you watch the clouds creep across the sky. Quiet days like this make you relax enough to vent about what's on your mind, about your problems and how you should try harder to solve them despite not having the necessary strength. And during those days when Solomon likes to use his wisdom and offer advice to guide you on the right path. He wants to see you happy too, after all it's been a long time since he got attached to someone else.

And by your side he is also able to heal from his loneliness and thoughts of doubt, he is also able to see a light shining and he wants to show you that same light. So hold his hand and let him follow you wherever you are going, let him help you with your problems and rest your head on his shoulder when things get too hard. It's okay, all this will pass and he will be by your side to tell you that you did everything well, that your efforts were enough and that your work is perfect.

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Family issues develop from a number of factors such as strict parents, parental fights, sibling rivalries, communication problems and the list goes on. While Simeon is definitely the quickest to notice that you have some sort of problem that is bothering you, always so nervous, planning what you have to say and how to say it and noticing how you flich when someone is yelling or waving their hands agitated, Simeon is also the sweetest and most attentive. He's gone out of his way to make sure you're feeling good, always very subtle and caring about your needs. He doesn't care if you notice what he's doing, or if you feel scared and try to walk away from finally having someone on your side telling you how proud he is of your accomplishments.

Yes, he knows it's suffocating, but he also knows when to walk away so he doesn't hurt you. He can't help but want to help you in any way he can, whether it's your homework, your hobby, or a simple spell. Simeon knows that childhood fears and traumas can take a long time to heal but like a good angel he promises to stay by your side as long as it takes so you don't feel like you have to lie or hide things, so you can smile again and freely say what you think.

Humans should live in peace, have happy memories with their family and have a good life in the world so that when they come to the Celestial Realm they don't have any regrets or plans left behind. It's a shame your life didn't turn out that way, but he'll make sure your memories of Devildom are as happy as possible. And he's great at making you let your guard down and laugh so hard your belly hurts, Simeon always takes you and Luke to explore the woods of Devildom and have picnics there. The landscape is so beautiful that it leaves you in a state of permanent peace. Or he can sing for you while Luke plays the harp.

One thing is for sure, however, if you have any serious issues with your family, congratulations because now he is your father and you have just gained a little brother. They will both take great care of you.

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