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#tw parents
chaosdisorganized · 1 year
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Parents will be like "What's wrong with you? Why are you like this?" and then continuously traumatize you for years.
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shuttered-eyes · 2 years
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how do we forgive our fathers?
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steddieonmywaywardson · 7 months
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What about Steve’s parents who aren’t abusive or neglectful?
The Harringtons have worked their asses off for years to obtain and maintain the lifestyle they currently have. The house isn’t cheap and neither is the fancy furniture.
Things get tough when Mrs Harrington passes away due to an accident or long illness and Mr Harrington has to work harder to cover the loss of income and the horrific medical bills as well as making sure his beloved wife gets the send off she deserves.
More hours means less time away from his son. He knows Steve is hurting too but, with nobody else to turn to, and knowing his son is made of strong stuff, Mr Harrington has to go away on more business trips and for longer, just trying to keep a roof over his son’s head and not drown in debt.
Steve misses his mother, of course he does, but he understands his father is trying his goddamn best to keep the finances under control.
This isn’t the time to think about college. It can wait. He needs to work, needs to contribute. So he puts himself out there, gets any job he can. Even if it comes with a dorky sailor suit.
It’s why he cares so much about The Party. He knows just how much it hurts to lose a parent not only to death but to work as well. El, Max, Eddie, they’re just like him and Steve is going to fucking be there for them, show them that love and care and try his best to fill up some of that hole in their hearts.
And when his feelings for Eddie become something more? Well, the hole in his own heart starts to heal as well.
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unstablemotions · 11 months
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Mother's day more like "pretend to love the person who gave you life-long complex trauma disorders" day
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dark-nymph3t · 6 months
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Tw: death, suicide
My mom just died and I’m feeling so many conflicting feelings right now. Like, on one hand she was my adoptive mother, on the other hand she was an awful person who made so many people around her miserable.
I’ve developed an eating disorder, I’ve cut myself, and I’ve even tried to take my own life because of her. She would call me fat, an idiot, a mistake, she hit my dad, she ruined my aunt’s birthday, called my uncle homophobic slurs, was racist against a bunch of people for no reason other than she felt like it, and yet she was still my mom. And a part of me is sad, but another part is relieved because I finally feel free for the first time in my life.
Just because she’s no longer on this Earth doesn’t erase all the pain she caused; I have physical and emotional scars that will never go away and that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life because of her. I had to be an adult as a kid and now I’ve found I’ve grown into a tall child to has to grow up by themself in a world that is often not accommodating or understanding for what people like me have gone through. Just because on paper she was my mother does not mean that she acted like it. I don’t know what happened to her to make her this way, but whatever pain was inflicted on her was not an excuse to inflict it onto others. She didn’t deserve the pain, and I didn’t either.
I owe myself forgiveness, I will never owe you it. I was a child, I didn’t do anything wrong. When I cry I cry for myself and life I could’ve had and the mom I deserved, not you.
So goodbye Mom, and wherever you are I hope you’re a better person because you certainly didn’t act like one while you were still here.
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goobtacular · 3 months
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Be warned, longish mini essay about the Netflix Daredevil show from someone who hasn't finished season 1.
I think the similarities between Daredevil and Kingpin go hard. Both have very similar motivations and backstories. Ironically, Kingpin has a more traditionally good backstory. His harsh taskmaster was his father, and he rose to defend his mother, killing him in the process. But throughout the whole process, the torment of his father's rule, and dealing with the aftermath, he is in the company of his mother.
There is one thread throughout Wilson Fisk's life: he always has a companion. Not someone who can order him around, not always someone he can order, but always someone he is above in some way, and always someone who plays the role his mother did. Before he meets Vanessa, he has his assistant who chooses his meals, plans his itinerary, and is part of every difficult choice or conversation he must have.
Even Vanessa is, unfortunately, put into that mothering role, playing to the more traditional gender roles and even taking on the burden of the emotional turmoil his troubled past gives him. As long as he has his mother or a replacement, Wilson knows he's not a monster, and he can rationalize any sacrifice, usually on behalf of others. His decision to become a public figure is entirely out of his comfort zone, but also something he wouldn't have done if his assistant and Vanessa hadn't plotted to aid him in his turmoil. Functionally performing emotional labor on his behalf.
Daredevils, Mathew Murdock's, upbringing contrasts this. He had a loving, supportive father who had a violent career. Upon the death of his father to crime, he turns to another, harsher, violent father figure who abandons him when he gets attached. Every time someone fills a paternal role, they leave him. And there seem to have never been any takers for a maternal role. Instead, the influences on his life have always been highly masculine, sometimes soft, but always masculine.
In some respects, it seems as though Matt is a success story for toxic masculinity. He's a superhero and a lawyer, he's exceptionally romantically successful, he never lets anyone in, and he solves every problem as alone as he can with the strength of his body and his moral character. He suffers because of this, but even his downfalls still echo the toxic masculinity that's consumed his life.
But for all that, Matt and Wilson come at it from different angles, paternal and maternal, and they ultimately arrive at the same destination. They're both violent men trying to save Hell's kitchen through violent means. The only difference is the extremes they are willing to go to. And even then, Wilson is quite a bit older than Matt, and I'd be willing to believe a middle-aged Daredevil might kill.
Certainly, Kingpin's methodology is more classically villainous, but it is only Daredevil's superhuman abilities that allow him the moral high ground. They remove his ability to mistakenly target innocents, an advantage Wilson does not have.
It strikes me as interesting that the main difference between the two characters is what flavor of toxicity they were molded by: Wilson by a toxic level of support, by people egging him on when it might be time for introspection and pushing him forward when he turns inward and considers stopping. And Matt, by toxic masculinity, pushing him on even when he really should rest—not providing him the support he needed to heal from the trauma of his father's death or Stick's abandonment or even the emotional toll his vigilante career took. Forcing him to bottle everything up and 'stay strong' not to disappoint others, mostly Stick.
That's why I think, ultimately, neither should be doing what they're doing. Kingpin for, I think obvious reasons, he's doing just real bad stuff with vaguely good intentions, and Daredevil for less apparent reasons. He is doing good, and as Matt, I think his choices are solid, but as Daredevil, he's straight up using beating up people as a way to deal with his trauma. It's incredibly unhealthy and even if the violence doesn't take him out, he's still leaning on it to support him emotionally. I fear he can't stop, even if he wanted to. After all, if he did, he'd have to face his demons like the rest of us.
They're just two men running from their problems, and I guess I can't fault them for that. Wouldn't all of us if we could?
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aacalienz · 3 months
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My support needs are not being met living with my parents. I’m not homeless anymore and they took me back. But they still treat me as non disabled for the most part, which just sets me up to fail. They expect me to be fully speaking and I just can’t measure up.
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traumasurvivors · 2 years
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Even if you being abused as a child was a result of their own trauma, your trauma is valid.
A parent/caretaker should never let their trauma bleed all over their children. That was their responsibility to handle and they should have never done what they did to you. It doesn’t matter if they say that “you’re lucky. This is nothing compared to what I went through”. They still should have never abused you. Ever.
You deserved better.
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nanixo · 7 months
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Me when my mom makes me insecure for the nth time today
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dominimoonbeam · 3 months
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Oh man. The D20 campaigns have made me choke up so many times, for the sheer beauty and brilliance, and deep character moments... but just now, watching The Seven with these truly incredible and hilarious women, when Katja was confronted with the memory of her childhood and no adult coming to pick her up after school and having to realize that her parents would never share in her childhood because that childhood was over--that no one was ever coming for that little girl--and her response was to tell herself that it was okay, because even if her parents hadn't been there with her, she was, and she fucking picked up herself and carried her and I AM FUCKING BAWLING BECAUSE THIS SHIT HIT A MARK THAT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR!
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(This is a rant about emotional abuse. Please read carefully. This is also not supposed to be a cry for help, I just needed to say it, and be heard)
Don't you love when your parents get angry when your disability acts up, and you can't go to an event and you cost them money?
And you say 'I'm not gonna force myself to go outside when I am in this much pain'
And your mother says 'don't worry ill make you go'
And you have to say 'No I'm not going to hurt myself.'
And then she fucking frowns, looks away and pulls her phone out and ignores you the next time you speak?
Isn't it the best time ever, gotta love Thanksgiving weekend!
I can't wait to fucking move out
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cats-and-confusion · 7 months
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My dad's mad at me because I threw a pack of sticky notes at his face really hard when he invaded my boundaries to try and tease me. Like ohhhh my gooood it's almost like there was a major event early in my life that made me really fucking uncomfortable when people touch me without permission. Don't get mad at me for retaliating when you knowingly crossed my boundaries FOR FUN. I don't care if that’s "just what you do" you've been living with me my whole life you were THERE when my uncle was arrested for molesting me, how are you not connecting these fucking dots. And then you DON'T wanna talk about it to rectify the mistake and communicate our fucking boundaries?? You didn't even fucking apologize you just got pissy and frustrated at me. I apologized. Fuck this, man
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ask-emoripals · 9 months
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⭐️: ORANGE AlERT ORANGE ALERT THIS IS NOT A DRILL KEL IS BEING SELF-DEPRECATIVE! DELIVER THE SNUUY TO HIM! D:
🪴: Don’t forget some hugs and plushies Aubrey!
⭐️: Thank you for reminding me Truffle! :0
🦈: Enough goddamn flirting more supporting our friend! *Carrying wooden boards* These chopping boards will be a good outlet for his self-hatred!
🎹: I’m bringing him his favorite comics just to be sure! Are you ready to provide emotional support little brother?
🔪: *Nods*
*Meanwhile*
🏀: God…… I really am a fucking failure huh!? Just a retarded… obnoxious… loud ass PILE OF FUCKING SHIT!
📖: No, Kel you are no-
🏀: WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!? YOU’VE ALWAYS FUCKING BELITTLED ME ALONGSIDE OUR PARENTS DUE TO HOW INFERIOR I AM TO YOU! NO ONE WOULD CARE IF I WAS FUCKING DEAD!!!
*Kel starts punching the ground and scratching his wrists in complete rage.*
📖: L-little bro…… please…
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eveningdawn222 · 1 year
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idk why no one talks about it but there is something so psychologically damaging about having teachers for parents. esp in the us where teachers r expected to be answering emails until 10 at night, where there's no real work-life balence because at some point. at some point you realize you're not really their kid. you're just student who lives in their house. and it's not their fault! you get it, when they can't treat you differently at school, because that would be unfair to the other kids, but at what point do those kids know your parents better than you do? at what point do you look at your mom across the gym during assembly and realize that your mom know her students better than she does you?
and it's always "oh that's so-and-so's kid, i took a pd course with them." and your teachers all know your name before they even call attendance. and your mom says on the car home "your teacher was talking to me about how you've fallen to a b in english." when the other kids barely scraping c's don't even get an email home all year. its learning cursive on the floor of your mother's classroom while she grades until it's dark outside. it's the empty halls of your elementary school being so familiar you can almost feel the carpet beneath your feet but you can't quite remember the color of your childhood home's front door. did we have a fence out front? i can't remember but the layout of my 4th grade classroom is seared into my brain.
and you're only ever around adults because your peers all seem a little too young a little too immature because you're only ever around adults because your peers all seem too young -
but it's always the mantra of "you can't talk about this with your friends" at the dinner table and the disillusionment that comes with realizing you have to keep secrets from your friends because otherwise your mom could lose her job. it's half the school knowing stories about yourself that you don't remember. it's learning algebra before you learn to ride a bike because theres not time for that between early mornings and late nights.
its your dad missing your little sisters birthday three years in a row for a conference on the opposite coast. it's your mom sobbing at the dining room table because the kids are so stressful this year, so you don't ask for help because she's the one who needs it. it's your dad going straight to problem solving when you break down in tears and you can't even be mad because he's the one with the psych degree. obviously he's the one who knows the best about this.
it's "they're trying their best" and "it's the administrations fault" and "the real problem is the system" because you need a parent but you get a teacher. and it's almost enough. she comes to your little league games but when you look up from the field she's turned away, talking to a woman with bleach blonde hair who mispronounces your sisters name.
they sit in the front row for every graduation but yours.
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I've been struggling with this productivity culture recently, dear god its such a christian thing, specifically a protestant thing, I don't know if the catholics or the orthodox have the same thing.
See here's the thing, I'm autistic, nobody fucking noticed that when I was a kid, but anyway, so what happens when you take a very litteral minded child, who, like any child, wants to make their parents happy and proud of them, and put them in a culture that continually tells them that to be a good person is to put themself last, to always be of use to others, repeatedly compares them and all the people around them to slaves, and tells them that if they're a good little christian in this life, if they sacrifices themself for the good of others, they'll get to really get to enjoy the next life, which matters more than this one anyway? That's right, you get an adult with little to no sense of self preservation, especially when it comes to working, and doing things for other people, you'll get someone who ties their entire self worht to whether or not they're useful.
Excellent for capitalism, this makes really good little workers, very bad for individual people, this quickly leads to burnout.
Anyway, I've been having a much harder time with my self worth lately, not because I've been working on taking breaks when I need them, but because I've been slowly crashing and burning and have not physically been able to do as much work as I've used to, that has been causing alot of guilt, and I've multiple times now had meltdowns and breakdowns due to feeling like I'm not useful enough.
This all gets amplified due to my parents, specifically my mother, not deeming anything as a reasonable cause to reduce my expected productivity and take a proper break, not even physical pain or injury or illness, which yikes honestly.
My chronic pain has been flaring up significantly, when waking up I cannot immediately move or stand up due to pain, I'm constantly having some or other cold or infection, my body is tellint me to take a break, and like, I know you cannot run on a broken foot, but I'm feeling guilty for not being able to do exactly that, and I don't know how to make that guilt go away
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