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#this was from a story idea i had a while back that I'm probably never going to do anything with
bambinambi · 2 days
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The cost of betraying one's self
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For the last three years, I've felt like I had to relearn who I was, relearn lessons that were imbued upon me from childhood (through self-reflection as an adult), I've had to relearn societal rules (through awkwardly fubbling through social interactions), and whether I even want to abide by these social rules or not. More and more, I start understanding my past self and accepting her after years of rejecting and being embarrassed of her, as I come back into myself. But I feel like I began navigating this rebirth in the wrong manner.
I approached it in a manner in which I believed there were objectively a right and wrong way of doing "life", in part due to having befriended certain people that thought that who I was, how I thought and how I sought to navigate the world were wrong because it did not make sense to them, but also by accepting and internalising their critiques instead of recognising them as very strong subjective opinions. While I could be very stubborn, I also had a porous mind. I feel like it is in my nature to be attracted to anyone who wants to bestow me with any new knowledge or different perspectives that I can mull over, being a mrigashira native. The only issue was that instead of giving me new perspectives, they belittled and ridiculed my thought processes. And I knew that they were opinions to begin with, but the more I recognised that the world around me agreed with them, the more I started to question whether how I perceived the world around me was "correct".
I watched a video by Claire Nakti that spoke about people copying you/stealing your destiny, and she gave an analogy that went along the lines of, "when you decide to take in information that someone else has discovered, instead of eating the fruits of knowledge that they consumed, you end up eating the excrement of the people who ate the fruit" (I said it in a far my crass manner but you get the gist of what I'm saying). Not only do you not take in the full knowledge or wisdom, but you will also often misinterpret what you are hearing and seeing, and subsequently impose these incorrectly understood lessons and ideas onto your life, and potentially others, because you have not made sense of these lessons from your own point of view, nor attained the wisdom, through experience, attached to these lessons. But not only that, you end up not living out your own destiny by attempting to steal another's. This is probably why incredibly wise people are usually portrayed as very old in media. Someone that has lived that long has had many many experiences but also the time to learn and wisen due to them.
I'm not going to speak on this too much because ultimately, you could always just go watch Claire's video for more information on Ketu and Rahu, and it's relation to making sense of the world with the knowledge you came into the world with, and also your own acquired wisdom that one gains as you navigate the world. Going back to my own personal story, I will not say whether my friends interpretations of the world were "correct" or "incorrect", or whether now that I'm in a different state of mind, I agree with them. What I will speak on is the danger of betraying oneself in the pursuit of really anything. For me, it was the pursuit of social acceptance and assimilation into spaces that may not have been for me and in spaces, that I myself may not have wanted to be in, if I were being honest with myself.
We all likely have friendships in which we have much in common with our friends, and also differ in many ways from. I've always wonder why I had friendship groups in which we differed in many ways, and this always fascinated me, and I could never make sense as to why our friendships worked. Maybe I enjoyed these friendships because they always had people with differing ideas to that of my own that made me really "think" and question my own view points, that's these friendships were stimulating, as I am a person that loves to question. My friendship with these two particular friends hinged on a shared love of similar music and interests as most friendships do but differed in how we perceived the world greatly. Instead of agreeing to disagree, my friends sought to change my perspective through belittling, triangulation, and bullying. I recognised that I wasn't happy in the friendship, but I stayed in that relationship, longer than I should have, due to fear of being alone. COVID came around, and I thought I would spend the year 2020 "fixing" myself, as many other people sought to do. I threw myself into a ton of psychology content so I could psycho-analyse myself and effectively learn where I needed to improve in myself and my approach to my interpersonal relationships. What made the whole process near impossible, is that I was dealing with a severe case of moral perfectionism, in which I thought that the times in my past in which I had caused harm to people, were like blemishes on my being that I could never get rid of, like they would haunt me for my entire life, and would never be able to separate myself from having been that person. You can't move on from past versions of yourself if you think you'll always be tethered to them. Also, trying to take in all this knowledge, that didn't resonate with me at the time, was also incredibly overwhelming, but also useless, and I could never incorporate what I learnt effectively into my life, because it did not come naturally to me. I honestly blame myself for having bought into the ideas surrounding cancel culture, because if you're not willing to forgive and allow someone to move on with their lives after having made past mistakes, how can you do that for yourself?
I also really got into astrology, so I could learn how to read my birth chart with the sole purpose of understanding what my flaws and shortcomings were in this lifetime so I could correct them. I had spent a great deal of my adolescence being bullied by age-mates and even past friends and I think these experiences also informed this idea that there had to be something fundamentally wrong with me to have experienced all of it, and that if I could dig into myself and expel it from my being, I could subsequently be treated better by the world.
Slight sedgeway from the video, but I want to say that once, I was speaking to my mom, and I asked her if I should change my approach on a specific situation I was experiencing, and she told me not to allow people to change who I am, meaning don't allow other people's behaviour towards you change who you are, and how you would react to a situation. By allowing someone to influence your behaviour, or "matching their energy", you're giving someone else power over yourself, and how you would actually react to a situation if you were being your authentic self, which could be a big price to pay for simply wanting to stroke your ego. Also, when you have to answer for your behaviour or words, you'd feel a lot more confident in your past actions by actually believing in what you've done and said, instead of it coming from a place of fear, in some cases, or ego.
So, getting back to trying "to fix" myself; in trying to do so, I think I experienced the actual death of my mind and soul. I should mention that I have always had a habit of ridding myself of the past to make way for who I want to be in the present (I'm not sure if this is due in part to my heavy pluto influence in my chart), example, I always liked getting rid of old art because I had discovered a different art style. And so my nature of always wanting to start completely anew or on a clean slate had ultimately bit me in the ass, because in my bid to "fix myself", I found that I had rid myself of everything about my being; my personality, my opinions, my temperaments, the things I cared about, the things that drive me.
I really didn't know who I was or what I believed in. I had no idea what kind of person I was even trying to work towards being because I sought to destroy the foundations, that I had taken years, leaving me with no real basis to start with but also leaving me an empty shell or husk.
I spent a year and a half in a state of derealisation and depersonalisation. I existed in a state of limbo. When you experience depersonalisation and derealisation, it's like being underwater. You can't process information as well. I honestly don't know how I got through my third year in that state. You're never really present, and even when you perceive things going on around you, you sense these things, but sometimes you don't really process them in your mind. It's like the saying, "going through one ear and out the other." I think it's relevant to mention that I had no hobbies and I found that I struggled listening to new music, in fact I found myself wanting to listen to music that my dad would play when we were children, almost as a form of comfort, but also (and this ties back to the whole premise of this post) as if I had regressed to being a child again. When I came out of that state, I found that I had to relearn a lot of things, that I most likely knew before but just couldn't remember, almost like I was starting over again, from the beginning.
And by the way, this is not a sob story. I knowingly betrayed myself by being in a relationship with people who I knew did not truly like or accept me for who I was but I unknowingly betrayed my soul by completely destroying the growth that I had made up until I would said my 19th year. And why I mentioned Claire Nakti's video earlier is because ultimately, what I would like you take away from this message, is that on the one side, there is a lot to learn from others, but in your pursuit of knowledge, make sure that even when you seek to learn from others, that their messages resonate with you, so as not to be led astray. Also, become comfortable with walking the path less travelled, especially when it resonates with you. I was so set on being accepted that I completely neglected the voice that told me that the ideas being imposed onto me didn't resonate with me, that I didn't actually like the people I desperately wanted to approve of me, that who they were was not who I wanted to be, nor wanted to be associated with anyway. Essentially, if you've ever been through what I've been through, my advice to all of us, actually really for anyone, is to worry less about whether you're getting it "right", and to worry more about whether it feels right to you.
Subsequently, making this discovery also made me wonder how I would raise my children, like would I act as a guide or assistant. Growing up, my parents furiously imposed their beliefs onto us as children, which I subsequently rejected, not only because it didn't make sense to me at the time, but also because I needed to gain my own understanding to really develop these beliefs for myself. And so the way I think I'll go about parenting my children, is to gently advice them, so they would be more accepting of the advice but also try to ensure that I'm giving them these lessons in a manner that they can understand and make sense of for themselves, and not be frustrated when they decide to make decisions that go against my advice because ultimately, people learn better from experience than being told what to do, especially children. Life isn't a test, it's an experience, you're allowed to fuck up, you're allowed to become a different person overnight, don't rush the process, because ultimately, the destination will be there when you finally get there.
It almost feels like I am having a similar experience to Bella Baxter from 'Poor Things', in the sense of discovering the world, one' s self, how the world reacts to me and how I subsequently react to the world, anew. The only difference being that I had a detailed understanding of my past self, that made my relearning of myself and the world staggered, as I desperately attempted to cling onto who I once was, once I realised that I had completely destroyed the version of myself that I loved and respected. In pursuit of social acceptance and really, self-acceptance, I had completely forgotten how much had gone into me being who I was and how hard I had worked to become that person. Bella Baxter had the advantage of not having any reference for who she was "meant" to be. The friends she met on the boat and in France liked her for her uniqueness. It makes me very cognisant of the saying, "When you attempt to be like someone else, you're robbing the world of yourself." It's very true. So, while I would never advocate for complete isolation, I would say, try to process things on your own, without outside opinions or potential influences.
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vanteguccir · 3 months
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Lovestruck boy | Matt Sturniolo
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Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Nick and Chris are trying to record wednesday's video, but Matt's lovestruck gaze keeps going to Y/N, distracting himself.
Warning: None.
Requested?: Yes, from anon.
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
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"Matt! Hellooo, is anyone there?" Nick spoke from behind the camera while moving his arms around exasperatedly, looking at his brother, who had his eyes focused on the couch in the back of the room.
Matt is the kind of guy that when he loves, he loves hard.
So to say that Matt was crazy about Y/N was an understatement, all that was on his mind day and night was his girlfriend; His days were happier with her by his side, he felt like he had more energy and strength to do anything, only because of her.
His favorite thing in the world was seeing her happy, so his heart warmed every time he heard her talking about the books she was reading with so much passion and affection - so much so that he lost count of how many times he took her to the bookstore and bought more than 100 dollars in books, just to be able to hear her talk about the characters that Matt never memorized the names of and the story that always made she speak too quickly and with so much devotion.
Whenever Matt was with his brothers or friends, he would mention his girl. It was automatic, everything reminded him of her. He was obsessed. With all that said, it was inevitable that, being in the same room, the boy wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her.
The theme of that Wednesday's video was something suggested by Y/N herself, as just a few minutes ago the four of them were lying on the sofa in the living room, the girl with her feet on Matt's lap while starting a new book, while the brothers watched old videos of themselves on television.
His hands caressed the tops of her feet covered in fluffy Iron Man socks, which she had probably stolen from his side of the drawer. Every now and then Matt's right hand would go up her legs to Y/N's left hand, taking it away from the book and to his mouth, sealing the warm, soft skin with love, keeping his eyes on the TV screen.
A smile grew on Matt's face every time his brothers made vomiting sounds, calling them disgusting. While Y/N felt like her cheeks could explode from how red they became.
Matt's teenage voice coming from the videos made Y/N's heart warm, and seeing the silly smiles on the triplets' faces as they traveled through the land of nostalgia made an idea pop into the girl's head, who instantly put down the book and paused the video, catching the attention of them.
And this takes us to the current moment, after Y/N has separated some pictures from when they were children, teenagers or nowadays on Nick's phone, having created an album to be used in that specific video.
Matt and Chris were sitting at the kitchen table, facing the camera, Nick - who was standing behind it with the album open on his phone -, and consequently also facing the sofa, where Y/N was sitting comfortably as she flipped through her book, a smile appearing every now and then on her face as her expressions changed according to the events in the story.
A cup of cappuccino that Matt made for her rested on her legs, keeping her warm, while her right hand came out of the book every now and then and picked up the drink, taking a sip.
It was the third time that Nick caught Matt's attention, who seemed to get lost in his girlfriend's figure, and all external sounds, including his brothers' voices, became muffled.
To disguise it, the boy would randomly guess the name of one of his brothers or himself when Nick showed a small part of a picture, getting it wrong almost every time. This led to him having the lowest score.
"What? Yes, that's Chris." Matt blinked his eyes quickly, looking away from Y/N and to the phone in Nick's hands.
"Matt, it's you!" Nick exclaimed, rolling his eyes and sighing, he knew the video would continue like this if he didn't get Y/N out of the room, but his best friend looked too comfortable on the couch.
"Pay attention, dumbass." Chris slammed the palm of his left hand against Matt's forehead, earning a slap back on the arm.
Y/N lifted her head from the book momentarily, holding back a laugh as she saw the brothers fighting, rolling her eyes playfully before returning her attention to the story, adjusting her position on the couch.
"I'm sorry, I'll pay attention. I promise." Matt raised his hands in surrender, swallowing hard as he glanced briefly at Y/N and saw her laughing softly, returning his eyes to his older brother and forcing himself to keep them there.
"For those of you who aren't understanding, Y/N is sitting on the couch reading, and Matt can't stop looking at her. He's obsessed, I swear." Nick muttered behind the camera, shaking his head even though they couldn't see him.
When the first round ended, Chris got up and took Nick's place behind the camera, agreeing to be the next to show the pictures and be the jury.
Nick handed him the phone and sat down next to Matt, looking briefly at the couch and closing his lips in a thin line at Y/N's wide eyes at the book, probably surprised by some absurd scene.
The oldest looked at Matt, seeing that his brother was already looking at Y/N, too. Their eyes quickly met when Matt felt Nick looking at him, a laugh escaping both of their mouths.
"Are you ready?" Chris asked after choosing the first picture he would use, receiving a nod from the two brothers, who had both arms on the table so they could reach the "button" faster.
The youngest zoomed in on the pic and turned the screen towards the two, waiting for one of them to get it right.
Matt had never moved so fast, his left hand slamming against the post-it too hard as his eyes were wide in euphoria.
"It's me! Look at Y/N's hand there." Matt shouted in excitement, raising his right hand and pointing at the phone behind the camera.
"Yeah, that's Matt." Nick sighed, knowing that even though he got it right too, Matt spoke first. "You only got it right because Y/N is in the picture!"
"Obviously, he knows Y/N's traits more than he knows his own." Chris scoffed from behind the camera, zooming out of the image and looking for the next one.
The picture in question was from a day when the four of them went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant about a year ago, Nick and Chris were sitting on one side of the table and Y/N and Matt on the other. Matt had his elbows resting on the wooden table and his hands crossed, laughter escaping his lips when he heard something Chris said, while Y/N joined him in laughing, her hands crossed around his right bicep and her head resting on his covered shoulder.
The pic was taken by Nick, being the passionate photographer that he was, and Chris felt a smile stretch across his face as he remembered the moment.
Even though they made fun of their brother so much for being a crazy in love for Y/N, they felt their chest fill with joy for their brother every time they saw them together. They knew that their brother had found his other half, and seeing him as happy as ever made them just as happy.
"I know, he's obsessed with her." Nick commented again, receiving a slap on the back of his head, letting out a laugh when he saw Matt roll his eyes, but don't deny anything.
The girl looked up again when she heard her name being said by one of the boys and her person being mentioned more than once. Her eyes met Matt's blue ones, who looked at her with love and affection, an easy smile appearing on his face almost automatically.
Y/N smiled back, blowing a kiss, which the boy pretended to catch with his left hand and keep in the pocket of his hoodie.
When the round changed again, it was Matt's turn to stand behind the camera and choose the pictures.
The boy got up from his seat, fixing his pants and walking over to where Chris was, taking the phone from his hand and closing the last picture chosen by the youngest.
His thumb scrolled across the screen, looking for the first one he would use as he let his brothers settle down.
A smile stretched across Matt's face as he passed by a picture of Nick and Y/N, where they were both wearing sunglasses, with feathers around their necks and making faces at the camera. Nick had his left hand raised showing a peace sign, and it was there that Matt decided to zoom in, but not before lingering his eyes for a few seconds on the full image, admiring his girlfriend there.
Matt took advantage of the fact that his brothers were in a silly argument and turned around momentarily, looking at his girl, who was now in a position that in his head was probably very uncomfortable, but he already knew that for Y/N, the most different positions were the best.
The girl felt eyes on her and looked up, seeing Matt standing there admiring her. A reddish color took over her cheeks, and her fingers played with the pages of the book, trying to hide her shyness.
Matt nodded briefly at the book as if asking her how the story was going. Y/N smiled at the action, making a chief kiss gesture with her right hand while her left held the book open, afraid of losing the page she stopped at.
"I want to hear all abo-" Matt began in a low voice, just for Y/N to hear, but his sentence was cut by a hand hitting the table.
"I'm going to get Y/N out of the room if you don't turn around now and do your job." Nick said, crossing his arms. Chris held back his laughter beside him, his face turning red from the force he exerted in the action.
"You're so unnecessary." Matt rolled his eyes, throwing a wink at Y/N, who had a goofy smile, before turning to face his brothers again.
"No, you are." Nick responded, opening his mouth to argue against Matt again, only to be stopped by Chris, who smacked his left arm while laughing.
"Go ahead, Matt." The youngest asked, straightening up and clearing his throat, looking at his brother as he waited for the first picture.
Nick sent a bored look to Y/N, who was still watching them intently. The girl laughed softly, turning her attention back to the book as she felt her heart warm.
Y/N felt so grateful for her boyfriend and his brothers, who she saw as family. She would never forget the day Nick thanked her for how happy she made his brother, but little did he know, it was Matt who made her the happiest.
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Extra - comments:
"Matt looking behind the camera every 2 minutes with a lovestruck look on his face was the cutest thing I've ever seen 😔"
"Matt being able to guess the picture that had Y/N in it just because of her 😭"
"I love how Nick and Chris make fun of Matt for his love for Y/N all the time"
~ "deep down, they love them together more than the couple itself lol"
"I want to have a boyfriend who is as obsessed with me as Matt is with Y/N ​​🧎‍♀️"
"Y/N is a total bookworm, and I'm here for it!"
~ "petition for her to make tiktoks about the books she reads ✏️📄"
"it's incredible to see the difference between Matt before Y/N and Matt during Y/N. She's so good for him 🥺"
"Matt smiles so much when Y/N is near 😫"
"Matt and Y/N >>>>>>> any other famous couple"
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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋
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pigfacedbitch · 9 months
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Phobia
idea : your phobia relates to your boyfriend's gifted godly abilities.
word count : 0.8k
type : headcanons
pairing/s involved : Jason Grace / Percy Jackson / Leo Valdez / Frank Zhang / Nico Di Angelo x Reader
warning/s : phobia speaks for itself. personally, it's thalassophobia for me. 😓
here is my masterlist!
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Jason Grace | Acrophobia (Fear of Heights)
Due to having the same fear as his sister, Jason is completely aware of the dos and dont's when you're an acrophobic.
If you two are forced in situations where you need to be in high places, he always attempts to distract you with anything he can think of.
He prefers embarrassing stories over jokes. His delivery is too deadass and his 'i'm-trying-hard-here-it's-not-funny' look makes you laugh before the punchline.
Knowing that it can be associated with the fear of falling, Jason will reassure you every time that he's going to catch you.
If you did fall, during some battle for example, he will asks you to close your eyes and hold you tighter before slowly bringing you down.
He really lives up to that Superman nickname so much, the others started calling you Lois Lane.
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Percy Jackson | Thalassophobia (Fear of Deep Bodies of Water)
Percy would be bummed out. Being the son of Poseidon, he loves to be in the water.
Everything about him— from his favorite hobbies to his happiest of memories, revolves around it and he wants to share that with you.
He plans on taking you on trips underwater; introduce you to the majestic marine creatures nobody else has seen before, unravel mysteries the sea has to offer, and form a big bubble where you can do whatever you want without being interrupted (ehem👀).
But how can he make all of it possible when your fear is literally all of those?
Percy would want to help you get over it. He wouldn't force you but he will at least try convince you.
If you refuse, he will respect that.
But if you accept his help, he'll try to take it one step at a time. Probably by starting to show you how the sea, no matter terrifying it is, is also beautiful place.
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Leo Valdez | Pyrophobia (Fear of Fire)
Initially, Leo will laugh. I mean, who wouldn't?
You're a pyrophobic yet you're dating someone who is actually made out of fire?
After he notices that you're not joking, he will begin to be terrified for you. Expect that Leo will be extra careful when you are with him, especially when he is working on something.
His contraptions deemed too dangerous like explosives, will be kept somewhere far away.
As much as he thinks your presence will make Bunker 9 a lovelier workspace, he will understand if you don't want to go there. The essense of it is from the god of fire himself— I mean you need a blast of fire to enter.
He also will refrain himself from using his fire abilities in a fight, making do with his inventions instead.
While pyrophobia doesn't have specific causes, it may be possible that you had some traumatic experience relating to fire. Leo doesn't want to hurt you or make you feel worse.
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Frank Zhang | Zoophobia (Fear of Animals)
Frank is confused. He doesn't know that the fear of animals is a thing and would wonder why you agreed on dating him in the first place.
He will ask you tons of questions; what caused your phobia? Are you afraid of all animals, a few, or just one? What can I do? After your conversation, he's going to search more information.
If you're afraid of one animal only, Frank will forget it ever existed. He will never talk of that animal again even when you're not around.
The others will joke about it. Example, if you're scared of snakes—
"What is a snake, Frank?"
"What's that, Leo? I have no idea, so let's never speak of it again."
In the case that you're afraid of all animals (this is a rare condition), he will not use his abilities and will train harder in combat.
When he really doesn't have a choice but to shapeshift in a fight, you two will separate with your friends' assurance that they got your back.
Frank is a nice guy but if someone made an offensive comment about your phobia or hardcore pranks involving that animal? Expect the wrath and rage of Mars.
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Nico Di Angelo | Phasmophobia (Fear of Ghosts)
I'm sorry but Nico will slightly judge you. Really, a ghost? What are you, five?
Like Frank, he will ask you what caused your phobia.
He will feel terrible and comfort you if you have the same experience as Reina and Jason, who's loved ones turned into a mania. If it's because of horror movies, he will awkwardly pet your head.
You may think the subject is dropped but Nico will make sure that no ghost will ever come near you.
Having the infamous title 'Ghost King', he will not hesitate to torment and threaten the spirits who try to approach, scare, or talk to you.
He will take you on dates to McDonalds but he will not bring you to any 'ghost business'.
If you want to get rid of your phobia, Nico will summon ghosts who can entertain you; like singers, dancers, those that can do tricks, and stand up comedians.
He will also show you how easily he can bend any ghost to his will, proving to you that there's nothing to be afraid of.
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bountydroid · 9 days
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Darlin' pt 7
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pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5 / pt 6 / pt8
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (SMUT)
Description: After a close call Cooper gives in to his feelings for Reader.
Notes: This chapter is half smut. For those who don’t want that I don’t think you’d miss anything of importance in the story if you skip it.
TW: p in v, unprotected sex, irradiated cream pie, pretty vanilla (sorry pervs lol love you I'm just not good at smut).
His scarred lips were rough against mine, one of his hands on my hip the other tangled in my hair. This was a moment I dreamed about my entire life. Someone who cares about me was never something I thought I’d have. While having a couple of fleeting flings here and there with my brother's friends, I never had a true romance. This feeling? It was straight out of one of my novels. When he finally pulled away, I couldn't help but let out a breathy sound of dissatisfaction. He gave me a teasing smile before taking the vials from my hand and shoving them into his bag.
"Let's go find you some Radaway, Darlin'. We’ll have ya feelin' better in no time." He said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the building.
"Thank god Lucy left the door open." I thought to myself as we made our way inside. 
The place was huge and felt like a relic of the past. The rundown storefronts and flickering lights left much to be desired. I pushed my body against Cooper's back as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. Noticing my discomfort, he gave my hand a small reassuring squeeze. He was still in bad shape, clear as day, as he stumbled through the building.
After some exploration, we came across a room full of bodies. "Didn't know Lucy was capable of this." I gasped.
"I imagine these fellas did most of it." He said, kicking the boot of one of the men on the ground. He was holding a gun, but it didn't seem to have done him much good. While Cooper scanned the bodies, looking for anything of value, I started to wander over to some of the other rooms. One room in particular caught my eye, some of the things inside reminding me of the medical center we found Roger in.
"Don't go far," Cooper said as he huffed another vial before rummaging through the men's pockets.
"I won't," I mumbled as I looked back at him one more time before entering the room. I swallowed nervously as I looked around the room before setting my sights on some drawers in a cabinet. After some searching, I could some syringes with the word "Radaway" written on the side. 
"Found some!" I said happily as I made my way back to Cooper to find him shoving vials of Jet into his hat. “That's so much!" I yelled in shock.
The happiness radiating from the two of us could have probably lit up a city. He looked up at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen on him before his eyes flitted to the syringe in my hand. He dropped his hat on the ground as he held out his hand expectantly. 
"Let me help you with that." He stated.
I was perfectly capable of injecting myself, but I liked the idea of Cooper taking care of me, so after a moment of hesitation I passed it to him. While he was looking over the syringe, almost like he was making sure it wasn't fake, I took the time to look over his face. REALLY look it over. His leathery tan skin and his beautiful hazel eyes. I knew that many people looked at him with disgust, but I don't think that after getting to know him I could ever think of him as anything other than beautiful. I was so lost in thought I barely registered the needle going into my arm.
"There," He said with a satisfied tone. "All better."
"Thanks, Coop." I beamed up at him. I had some Radaway, Cooper had a lot of Jet, and he finally kissed me. Everything felt perfect. 
Cooper knelt down to pick back up his hat when something caught his eye. A rectangular black box with glass on the front. 
"What is that?" I asked curiously.
"That, darlin'." He responded, a look of shock on his face, "That is a television."
I ruminated on the word, trying to figure out if I knew it from anywhere as he grabbed something and inserted it into the television. He slowly made his way to the couch and plopped down. The expression on his face was something I couldn't recognize. Amazement? I sat down next to him as I looked at the television curiously, whatever it was it was affecting Cooper. The box sprang to life, lighting up as he pressed a button on the controller he was holding. The television played a video. "Of course!" I thought to myself as I remembered the stories of moving pictures. The man on the video reminded me a lot of Cooper. The western attire, the confidence, and of course the gun he was holding. 
"Reminds me of you," I said innocently, not realizing the weight of my words.
"Nah, He ain't nothin' like me." He said quietly before looking over at me to scan my face before looking back at the video.
The man in the video was talking and I was trying to pay attention, I really was, but It was so long since I had sat anywhere but the ground, and while under normal circumstances I would call the couch uncomfortable, it felt like the most comfortable thing in that moment. I put my head on Cooper's shoulder and yawned. 
"Tired already, sugar?" Cooper teased.
"Maybe a lil' bit," I admitted. "I could stay up a bit longer, though."
"For what?" He mused, almost like he knew what I was thinking. 
I giggled, blush coating my cheeks as I whispered, "Maybe some more kissing?"
He hummed happily before pulling me onto his lap. I yelped in surprise at his sudden movement, grasping at his shoulders. “Now why would you want to kiss lil’ old me?” He was mostly joking, but an undertone of seriousness hung in the air.
“A better question is why wouldn’t I want to kiss you, Cooper? You are strong, you take care of me, you are handsome-“ I started to explain.
He scoffed, interrupting me. “I ain’t handsome.”
“You are!” I try to explain, “You have pretty eyes.” I said like I did days ago, back when he barely tolerated me. “And the way ya hold yourself is very… sexy.”
His eyes snapped up to mine, they were darkening, hungry. The embarrassment coursed through me and I could hardly stand it, so I buried my face in his neck.
“Awww getting shy, sugar?” He mocked. Before I could respond I felt his lips on my cheek. He stayed there for a moment before he started trailing down my neck, leaving tiny kisses in his wake.
I sighed happily as I pushed myself closer to him. I could’ve stayed that way forever, but Cooper had other plans. His hands were still on my hips from when he pulled me onto him. He slowly started to massage them before pressing me harder down on his lap. I let out a sound that was a mixture between a yelp and a moan.
“You like that?” He whispered in my ear.
I shook my head yes, my face still hidden in his neck.
“I wanna see you, darlin’.” He stated, his southern drawl slurred. He wasn’t demanding it, the tone in his voice was soft and hesitant, like he was worried he was going to scare me off.
Holding my breath I slowly pushed myself up. I was sure my face was red as a tomato as I made eye contact with him. When our eyes met, it felt like a damn had been released, lust flowing through me. “Coop,” I whisper before I start moving my hips on my own.
He let out a growl as he squeezed at my plush hips. “So soft.” He said.
“All for you, I’m all for you,” I say before crashing my lips into his.
The kiss was heady and passionate, I felt like I was drowning in him.
“Too many clothes,” I mumble against his mouth. Before I started to tug at his tattered duster jacket.
“I agree,” he sighed. Instead of helping me with his jacket, he ripped my hands from him and quickly tugged off my shirt, almost tearing it in the process. He sucked in a breath as he took in my bare chest. It was a sight to behold. Hair messy, half naked, and pupils blown. There was no way he could question if I wanted him, not anymore.
“God damn.” He groaned before leaning forward to kiss my chest. It’s like he wanted to kiss every inch of my body and I was starting to get impatient.
“Stop your teasin’,” I grumbled out, tugging at his jacket again.
This time, he obliged, quickly shucking it off before his hands started fumbling at his vest buttons. I cursed at him for wearing so many layers. I took this time to slide off his lap to take off my boots and pants, leaving me in nothing but my underwear. His hands stuttered as he threw off his vest and pulled off his shirt, distracted by the view in front of him.
“You, sugar, are way too good for me.” He muttered, his hands reaching out to pull me back onto his lap.
I moaned at the feeling of his rough jeans rubbing against me through my underwear. I could feel myself getting wetter, smearing my arousal on his pants. I rubbed my hands down his scarred chest before finding myself fiddling with his buckle.
“You want me?” I asked as I bit my lip. “Then take me.”
This seemed to flip a switch in him as he quickly spun me around so my back was on the couch. He hovered over me before kissing me fervidly. I undid his belt before popping open the button on his pants. He briefly pulled away from me to pull on his pants completely before slotting himself back on top of me.
“Darlin’,” he moaned as he rubbed his erection against my core.
I was so lost in the feeling I could barely respond, “Yeah?” I moaned out.
“There was more Radaway, right?” He asked. It was sweet that even in his lustful state he was still worried about me.
“Yes, Coop.” I responded, “Now fuck me already.”
He chuckled before mocking me, “So eager.”
He continued to tease me as he slowly pulled down my underwear, kissing down my legs as he went. I started to get dizzy, the arousal was becoming too much to bear. Finally, he pulled my panties off completely, kissing his way back up my body. I widened my legs as far as they could go, silently beckoning him inside of me. I heard him curse under his breath before slowly pushing himself into me. We let out moans in tandem, reveling in the feeling.
I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him down so our foreheads were knocking against each other. I looked deeply into his eyes before I started to plead, “Fuck me, Cooper. Make me feel good. Please!”
“I could never say no to you.” He whispered before sheathing himself completely, his head brushing against that sweet spot inside of me.
He gave me a peck on the lips before trailing down my neck again, sucking as he went. The idea of having marks on me that everyone would see made me moan loudly. He was claiming me as his. I started to wiggle, silently begging him to move. After a few moments, he gave in, starting slow. It was intimate, sweet even. He wasn’t fucking me he was making love to me. He had barely started but I was already a babbling mess. Repeating his name like a prayer I begged for him to go faster. It didn’t take long for him to oblige, picking up his pace. The sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room. The bodies on the floor were long forgotten as we got lost in each other.
“Y/n,” he groaned my name, causing me to squeeze around him. “Sugar, you keep feeling this good I’m not gonna last long.”
I was feeling too good to respond, letting out soft squeaks and moans as he pistoned in and out of me. He snaked his hand down my body to start rubbing at my clit, causing my body to tremble. I was close and he knew it, trying to get me to the edge before he arrived there himself.
“Cooper!” I cried out as I convulsed underneath him, succumbing to the pleasure. I could hear him swearing above me before he stilled, letting out one last moan as he came inside of me.
The both of us were breathing heavily. Saying we were exhausted would have been an understatement. He took a moment before starting to pull out of me. I let out a sad whimper at the lack of contact, grasping at his arms. He let out a breathy laugh at my actions. “I’ll be back.” He said, reassuring me. I watched him with half-lidded eyes as he went into the medical room for a moment before coming back to me with another syringe of Radaway.
I snorted, “That could have waited.”
He didn’t respond, instead opting to give me a smirk before sinking the needle into my arm. Once he was done he grabbed ahold of me, rolling us over so he was underneath me on the couch.
As he was rubbing reassuring circles on my back he told me, “Sleep, darlin’.”
I hummed happily into his chest before giving way to his request.
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maxwellatoms · 5 days
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Hello Mr. Atoms, I'm an animation student in college and fan of your work. I got this assignment in which I need to ask questions to a professional in the area. Could you pretty please answer them? It'd mean a lot to me.
1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.
2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?
3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?
4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?
5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?
Okey dokey.
1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.
Not really, in that there seems to be no career left.
The animation industry swelled its numbers greatly before 2020. Almost immediately after that, corporate greed synergized with a pandemic to reduce animated programs and the number of people working on them to almost zero. It takes almost a year from beginning to end to make a single episode of an animated show (by the modern standard). There was nothing being made in 2020 and four years later, we''re not in a much better spot. It's going to be a long drought for (especially) Kid's TV Animation.
Recently, many of my former co-workers have hit the financial wall and can't continue, moving away after (sometimes) 20 years in the industry. I begin to wonder if I'm very far behind.
A "bounce back" a year from now would need to start today. There are still some animated shows being made now, but those are almost universally "library" properties. That means it's an existing I.P. (Intellectual Properties like Garfield/Mario/Batman/Star Wars) so as an artist you're immediately in that box. Depending on the property and the studio, it can be an unpleasantly tight box. I grew used to holding and maintaining the vision for a show, but it's less fun when it's not my vision. It's even less fun when you can't inspire someone to follow your vision because they've been so ruthlessly abused.
I'm pretty sick of how big media corporations treat their employees. If I inherit one more burnt out crew due to mismanagement, I'm gonna lose it.
Over a decade ago I fought hard to get board artists story credit for the episodes they were actually writing, and felt like I'd won a big victory for everyone. The second my back was turned, it all reverted.
Mostly... what is the point now? My career is/was developing ideas, crafting those ideas into a workable show, then managing teams of thirty to seventy people to produce a couple of dozen episodes per year. Studios actively do not want new ideas right now, and are actively searching for ways to eliminate what artists from the process. I'm not sure what my job would be under this new system, but it feels like they decided to hang onto the anxiety-inducing deadlines while removing anything remotely pleasurable from the experience.
2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?
It's the only way to get anything done, currently.
The current state of the industry is not sustainable. I (along with a lot of other animators I know) are trying to decide what's next, and pretty much everyone agrees that "you just have to make something".
It is (in that very specific way) a great time to be a young animator. The system was never going to treat you well anyway. If you can get something like a Hazbin Hotel happening without studio help, you can currently write your own ticket. I'm super proud of Vivsie, because that's a LOT of stuff to handle. I never had to handle my own marketing or drum up money to make Billy & Mandy happen.
There are opportunities there, but it's definitely "Hard Mode". The best idea is probably to team up with a few other people you like and like to work with.
Hopes? I hope that the young animators take over and make something new on top of the bones of the old industry, rather than just allowing that industry to patch its rotting hide with their collected works.
3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?
I suspect true AI might just peace-out like ScarJo in "Her", but we're not there yet. What we have now isn't Artificial Intelligence at all (though I do believe it may be the underpinnings of the Artificial Suconscious of what may one day become an actual Artificial Intelligence.)
The LLMs and "Generative AI" are (so far) a big dumb waste. They consume tons of energy and aren't great for doing anything creative. If you've sat down with Chat GPT for a creative writing session, you've probably run into the "out of the box" limitations which prevent it from talking about sex or violence-- which happen to be a major component of most stories.
Still, the technology has come incredibly far in an incredibly short amount of time. I imagine we're going to hit the point where we're being hazed by artificially generated political ads way before Generative AI can produce a consistent and usable character turnaround, so that'll be the test. Whatever the legal fallout is from this stuff over the next few years will set the tone.
Still, studios have a vested interest in pleasing their shareholders. Generative AI potentially has the capability of not only replacing swaths of money-eating artists, but handing that control directly to the billionaire studio heads. Mark my words: We're headed straight for billionaire-generated content.
I don't think the public at large will want to watch Elon Musk's fever dreams, so there's that. So law and general distaste might stave it off for a while, but I think there's just too much impetus for studios to continue to try to please their investors. "AI Art" is here to stay.
Eventually that will lead to millions and millions of bots generating millions and millions of songs and paintings and movies all day every day. Most of it will be utter trash. Right now (so I'm told) viewers are already burnt out, and will generally only click on what they already know. On Netflix, where there are twenty things you've never heard of and one you have, you're more likely to pick the thing that gives you comfort and gives you a guarantee you're not wasting your time. With exponentially more A.I. trash, how would you even begin to filter it out?
You'd need absolute control of an already existing distribution system. We currently have a few of those, and all of the media companies are desperately trying to merge with them to insure their own survival.
To me, the post-Gen-AI landscape looks a lot like old-school Cable, but with endless I.P. and fewer masters.
4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?
The real question is, maybe, "What am I even doing?" These days I try to do a lot of gardening. I'm trying to learn new art skills, because suddenly twenty five years of experience managing, drawing, and writing isn't worth much. I recently worked on Jellystone until Zaslav lost 2.5 billion in the wash and had to find justification for his new yacht. The show before that? Also culled midway through to save money. The days of multi-year gigs seem to be over, and if I'm going to scrape by doing freelance, maybe I can do that somewhere else.
I'll always make art. I can't seem to help it. Ideas aren't my problem-- it's executing those ideas without the help of a structured pre-existing system. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to pull that off. My strengths are great, but were always supported by friends I worked with.
Can I start an indie cartoon with all of these cool friends? Sure, maybe. Most of those people have gone on to have other careers of their own and got used to being paid. Now nobody is getting paid and no one can pay anyone else. My immediate circle are all now middle-aged people with families and no jobs. Convincing them to give up a large chunk of their day for an idea that's not guaranteed to pay off is going to take some real effort.
I technically have fifteen years until I can claim my "retirement", assuming that still exists by then. That's a pretty big hole to fill with... I don't know what.
The difficult "What comes next" discussions at home are really just starting.
5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?
There are a lot of cool animation people out there. I already mentioned I was proud of Vivsie. I was also reminded recently just how great C.H. Greenblatt and Mr. Warburton are. I know they're my friends. They're both just really upstanding, creative people who take good care of their crews.
The treatment of animation industry professionals by the studio system has been one of the most demoralizing and heartbreaking parts of this demoralizing and heartbreaking time.
---
So there ya go. If you want to look for someone whose attitude is a little more upbeat, I won't blame you a bit.
Wherever you are, I wish you the best of luck. For me, just climb up there and crush it. I would very much like to add you to #5 someday.
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edenesth · 20 days
Text
TWTHH Spinoff: Little Touch of Heaven [1]
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Pairing: physician!Yunho x herbalist!reader
AU: historical au (Joseon era)
Word Count: 5k
Summary: Dedicating his life to his work, Yunho had never bothered to entertain the idea of settling down. Despite encountering many charming women throughout his career, none had sparked his desire for companionship. But everything shifted when he met a certain herbalist whose medicinal knowledge seemed to surpass even his own. What began as mere intrigue might have gradually developed into affection.
A/N: As stated in the title, this is a spinoff. If you have yet to check out the main story, it's probably better to read that before starting this.
Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 2
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"Are you still here, sunshine? It's way past closing time. Come on now, let's head home soon. Your mother will be worried if we take too long," your father called out from the backdoor of his apothecary, where you were diligently working in the backyard farm responsible for growing and harvesting all the herbs he required to make his medicines.
You sighed, gazing at the new batch of seeds you had just planted and still needed to water, "Uhh... you go on without me first, father. I'll join you as soon as I'm finished with this latest batch of ginseng."
The elderly man shook his head in resignation, "Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you. Be prepared for an earful from the lioness at home if you're late for dinner."
Chortling, you playfully stuck your tongue out at him, "Worry about yourself first! I'll tell mother dearest you called her a lioness," you waved him off as he sputtered in disbelief, panicking and giving you all the reasons you shouldn't say such a thing. But you only shook your head, finding your old dad incredibly adorable. That's why you couldn't resist teasing him every chance you got.
"Go home, father. I was just teasing you, geez," you reassured with a cheeky grin, watching as he huffed and grabbed his bag, "I'm going then. Hurry up, sunshine. And be careful on your way home."
"I will. You be careful too. I'll see you in a bit," you said, quickly returning your attention to your work. It was only then that you realised your stomach was beginning to growl with hunger at the thought of your mother's cooking. With no time to waste, you hastily completed the remaining tasks.
After finishing up, a contented sigh escaped you as you dusted off your hands and admired the fruits of your labour. Despite years of repetition, you couldn't imagine ever growing tired of this routine. Your father's apothecary had been a fixture long before your birth. Your mother had been one of his loyal customers, initially seeking medicine for her ailing father. However, as time passed, her visits seemed motivated by more than just medicinal needs.
It didn't take long for them to realise their love for each other, and they soon married. In the early days, your mother continued to assist your father with herb growing and harvesting, even after your arrival. Growing up, you spent your childhood amidst the sights and smells of the apothecary, playing and observing as your parents toiled away.
As you matured, your curiosity blossomed into genuine interest, prompting you to actively participate in and learn about herbalism. With your mother's growing age and declining health, she was eventually advised to retire and stay home, leaving you to take over her responsibilities in the apothecary. However, unlike her, you insisted on handling the planting of herbs alone, sparing your elderly father from further strain. Instead, he managed the less physically demanding tasks such as medicine-making and store management.
Locking up the apothecary doors, you began your trek home, you observed the families and couples passing you with a small smile on your face. While you couldn't exactly relate to most people, having spent most, if not all, of your time in the back of your father's store growing up, you couldn't be any happier than you are now.
You had no desire to venture out, make new acquaintances, or seek friendships. Your simple life brought you contentment, and you cherished the strong bond you shared with your parents. Grateful for the absence of hardship and discontent, you had no yearning for wealth or extravagance. Engaging in what you loved, even if it meant remaining within the confines of the apothecary indefinitely, filled you with immense satisfaction. You were perfectly content staying right where you were, surrounded by the familiar warmth of your family and the comforting aroma of herbs.
I could do this forever.
"I'm home!" you called out cheerfully as you stepped into your humble abode. It was a decent-sized house with all the essentials, providing everything your family needed. Despite the success of the apothecary and its financial stability, your parents saw no reason to move to a larger residence. Attachment and sentimental value outweighed any desire for more space.
Everything in your home remained in excellent condition, thanks to your mother's meticulous care, and that was all that mattered. As soon as you entered, she cooed and rushed over to envelop you in a warm hug, "Oh, my dearest little sunshine is home!"
You grinned at your father, who rolled his eyes in mock jealousy. Unlike you, he had returned home only to be lectured for allowing you to walk home alone instead of waiting for you. It was almost ironic how he had warned you about being scolded, only for the roles to be reversed.
It didn't take long before a smile spread across his features; your father was one of the sweetest men you'd ever known. But you hadn't met many people, given that most of your time was spent in the back of his shop. Even then, one thing was certain: he was good to you and even better to your mother.
You had never witnessed him raise his voice, regardless of how upset he might be. He always remained patient, letting his wife do all the yelling. And at the end of the day, he would go to great lengths to make her smile again, ensuring she never went to bed angry. If you were to find a husband, you'd want someone like your father.
Fortunately, you inherited his cheerful personality when you were born. You were truly a bundle of joy since entering this world, earning the nickname 'sunshine' from your parents. No matter how bleak their days became, your bright presence would always illuminate everything. You couldn't recall ever having a particularly bad day, and you hoped things would stay that way forever.
As you settled into your seat at the dining table, your bowl was instantly filled to the brim with your favourite dishes. Your mother chimed in, "Eat up, sunshine. You need to replenish all that energy you've lost from working so hard." The aroma tantalised your senses, and you couldn't help but salivate, "Thank you for the food, mother!" you exclaimed, immediately digging in, feeling famished to the point where you felt like you could devour an entire cow.
"Woah, woah, slow down. They're all yours, silly girl," your father cautioned, shaking his head at your unladylike eating habits, "I'm telling you, no guy will be attracted to you if you eat like that in public."
You pouted, retorting, "If he truly loves me, he'll accept me for who I am." Your mother gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "While that's true, I'm starting to worry that you might never attract anyone at all, since you're always at home or hiding in the back of the store," she confessed, setting down her chopsticks, "I've been feeling slightly better lately. Maybe I could return to the store occasionally, and you could finally go out and meet some boys—"
Shaking your head, you cut her off, "Nice try, mother, but that's not happening. Be good and stay home if you don't want me and father to worry. Besides, I don't need a man to complete me. I'm content as it is. All I need is the two of you by my side."
Unbeknownst to you, your parents harboured fears about exactly that. They knew they wouldn't be around forever, and once they were gone, who would take care of you? The thought of leaving their precious little girl behind all alone in this world filled them with dread.
The elderly man pondered for a moment, unwilling to let go of the topic so easily, "How about you come and help in the store once in a while? That way, you'd still have the chance to interact with some of the customers, and who knows, you might meet someone the same way your mother and I met each other."
You giggled, watching as they exchanged affectionate glances, their hands intertwining on the table, "That's cute, but no thank you, father. The farm isn't going to tend to itself, and before you offer, I refuse to let you perform such hard labour. Your body can't handle it; please don't make me worry. I'll be just fine, I promise."
You're fine, sunshine, but we're not.
Your parents sighed, disappointed by your refusal. At this stage, they could only hope for some miracle to happen, allowing you to meet a kind man who would care for you when they no longer could.
But maybe that miracle wasn't as distant as they thought. Maybe there was no need for your parents to be so concerned. Maybe things were about to change very soon. Perhaps your parents had prayed earnestly enough, and perhaps the heavens had finally chosen to answer those prayers.
"Tell me what you need, and I'll assist you," Jongho offered as soon as the physician finished briefing the head maid on all the tasks she would now have to handle, especially with Lady Park's pregnancy encountering difficulties and depending on him. With a shake of his head, Yunho smiled at the assistant, "It's fine, I've got it covered. Eunsook knows what to do while I'm away. Now if you'll excuse me, I should probably head to the apothecary for some herbs."
As the doctor made his way to the apothecary where he sourced medicines and herbs for his clinic, his mind raced with plans on which herbs would best suit the case at hand. It had been some time since he last treated a pregnant woman or dealt with pregnancy-related issues like this, and he couldn't deny feeling a bit rusty in this area. If only he had foreseen this, he might have brushed up on his studies, but the urgency of the situation caught him off guard.
He could still recall how urgently he had been summoned. Jongho had barged into his clinic, leaving him with no choice but to close up immediately. He wondered if he should have anticipated the pregnancy, especially given the general's desire for alone time with his wife. Perhaps he had been foolish not to prepare beforehand; he should have seen this coming. But there was no time to chastise himself over it now. His focus needed to be on ensuring Seonghwa's baby safely reached the three-month mark.
"Ah, finally, we're here," he murmured to himself as soon as the familiar store with the sign 'Ryu's Apothecary' came into view.
Without hesitation, he entered the establishment he knew like the back of his hand. This was the only place he trusted for all his medicines and herbs; he had known the owner for years. Mr. Ryu truly was one of the kindest apothecaries, never overcharging him and sometimes even offering discounts and deals for his loyalty. Just when Yunho thought they were close enough for him to know everything about the elderly man, today seemed to prove otherwise.
Perhaps he didn't know nearly enough.
"Mr. Ryu, I'm afraid I'll need all your raspberry and peppermint leaf supply for the day. Lady Park hasn't been doing too well in the early stages of her pregnancy," the physician announced upon entering the apothecary where he regularly obtained his medicines and herbs, his eyes busily scanning around for anything else that could be useful.
"Is that so? You might want to consider our latest batch of Codonopsis root imported directly from China just a week ago. It's highly effective in boosting vital energy and reducing fatigue during pregnancy."
Yunho's head shot up in surprise.
First of all, why hadn't he thought of that before? More importantly, the feminine voice addressing him sounded nothing like the elderly man who usually managed the store. He turned to find a young woman behind the counter, his eyes widening in astonishment.
"O-oh, um... hello there. I didn't realise Mr. Ryu had such a young wife," he blurted out before cursing himself, feeling embarrassed for making such a hasty assumption.
Your face immediately twisted in disgust, "Goodness gracious, you're severely mistaken! I'm his daughter!"
Way to go, you complete idiot!
The physician immediately bowed, overwhelmed with embarrassment as he offered his apology, "I-I apologise, Miss Ryu! I don't know what made me say that. It's just that I'm used to seeing only your father here. Seeing someone else caught me off guard."
Blinking rapidly, he hoped he wasn't visibly blushing. He had known the elderly man for so long and hadn't the slightest clue he even had a daughter, and such a pretty one too. Making such a mistake on their first meeting was unbelievable to him. He rarely found himself flustered and struggled to maintain his usually composed demeanour.
Good lord, did he really just say that?
You could only sigh; this was precisely why you didn't want to be out here in the store. It was only your first time in your father's place, and this was the first thing that happened. Off to a bad start already, you wouldn't be surprised if this trend continued with some of the other customers later on. It felt like your father had jinxed it at dinner that evening; shortly after, your mother fell sick, leaving him no choice but to stay home and care for her. In the meantime, you were left with no option but to manage the store.
Determined to put the incident behind you, you shook your head, reassuring the physician, "It's fine, sir. My father has to stay home due to an emergency, but fear not, he should be back in a few days to man the store as usual. So, would you be interested in those Codonopsis roots? I could pack some for you as well."
"Y-yes, please. Thank you for the recommendation, Miss Ryu; I really appreciate it," he said, stepping over sheepishly towards the counter.
"No problem, sir," you responded politely, busy packing the raspberry and peppermint leaf he had requested along with some of the Chinese herbs you had suggested.
You calling him 'sir' only reminded him that you still didn't know his name. For the first time in forever, not knowing what to do with his hands, he intertwined them behind his back and cleared his throat, "Uhh... my name is Jung Yunho, by the way. I'm the—"
"Oh, so it's you!" you cut him off, nodding in recognition with raised brows, "I know you; I've heard plenty about you from my father. I know you're the great General Park's family doctor," you continued with a shrug, "But of course, I should've figured that out when you mentioned a certain Lady Park's pregnancy. Huh, it's good to know they're having a baby soon. And before I go off on a tangent, more importantly, you're known to be one of the best physicians in town."
With a light chuckle, he shook his head modestly, "Well, I'm clearly not the best if I couldn't even think to use Codonopsis root."
Furrowing your brows slightly, you countered, "I don't see how that has anything to do with your abilities. That's because you're a physician, not a herbalist. Experts like me are here for that. While we may know which herbs are best used to treat what, herbalists obviously cannot diagnose patients. See, that's our difference and why we coexist to help one another."
Listening to you speak, Yunho felt thoroughly impressed. He couldn't deny that he had always believed he was the smartest person in the room, given his medical expertise and role as the famous general's personal doctor. People often revered him for being at the top of his field. At some point, he had almost convinced himself that there was nobody who could teach him anything new.
But your words made him reconsider.
He hadn't expected to meet someone who could humble him and make him realise he still had much to learn. Especially not a young woman like you, the daughter of an apothecary, a herbalist.
"In that case, Miss Ryu, what else would you recommend for an unstable early pregnancy? You see, the general's wife suffered from severe malnutrition throughout her childhood, and her body is now lacking enough nutrients for both her and her baby," he asked, deciding to set aside his pride and seek help. Seonghwa was relying on him, and he couldn't risk anything happening to Lady Park or the baby.
Finishing up the last of his orders, you hummed in thought, "Actually, there is another medicine that could help. It's a well-known Chinese herb my father has sold to some customers facing similar problems," you explained as you retrieved a box of medicine from the cabinet behind you. Opening it revealed a brown block of medicine he had never seen before, "This one also arrived not too long ago from China. It's called Colla Corii Asini, and it nourishes the kidney while preventing miscarriage. Perhaps this is what Lady Park needs."
"Thank you so much, that sounds perfect," he breathed out in relief, finally feeling a glimmer of hope. You shook your head with a small smile to indicate 'no worries.' As he prepared to make his payment, he asked, "Um, I was just wondering... why haven't I seen you before? I mean, you're Mr. Ryu's daughter and—"
You shrugged, "I'm in charge of growing and harvesting all the herbs we sell, so I'm usually on the farm at the back of the store."
"Ohh... so, you are the genius behind all these herbs," he nodded slowly in wonder, standing there after completing his payment, hands full with the herbs you'd packed for him. Intrigued by your knowledge, he mustered the courage to ask, "I know I'm probably asking too much, but... w-would it be okay for me to come over frequently and learn more about herbs from you? You know, to improve as a medical practitioner."
You shrugged again, "Sure, suit yourself."
Yes, she said yes!
Deep down, he didn't want this to be his first and last time seeing you. He rationalised it, telling himself you were simply an intriguing person. He hadn't encountered anyone as passionate about healing and herbs, someone who possessed more knowledge than he did. He was just eager to learn more.
That had to be the only reason.
It had to be.
"Has the mistress been feeling any better?" the physician inquired eagerly, anxiously awaiting Eunsook's response. He had returned to the general's estate a few days after administering the first batch of the medicine you had recommended.
Beaming, the head maid exclaimed, "Oh, those medications worked like magic! The fatigue and morning sickness improved immensely just a day after she started taking the medicine. You're amazing, Physician Jung! I knew we could count on you!"
It wasn't me at all, it was all her.
"That's good to know, Eunsook! I couldn't have done it without the help of a very talented herbalist. Well then, I'll be back in another few days with more of those herbs," he said eagerly, already looking forward to returning to the apothecary to share the news with you.
The elderly woman bowed, "Of course! And please extend our thanks to this kind herbalist friend of yours, we definitely could use more experts like him around—"
"Her. She's a female herbalist, and you're right, we do need more talents like Miss Ryu around," Yunho quickly corrected.
Blinking rapidly, Eunsook nodded with a slightly knowing smile, "Oh, my apologies. I shouldn't have assumed her gender, but yes, please offer Miss Ryu our sincere gratitude."
"Don't worry, I will."
As he approached the apothecary, his heart seemed to quicken at the thought of seeing you again, though he couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why. Perhaps he was simply eager to make a new friend who shared his passion for medicine. Besides, he couldn't deny his admiration for your extensive knowledge of herbs, despite your young age. You seemed to surpass even some of the more experienced practitioners in his field.
Truthfully, he genuinely desired to learn more about herbs from you. The prospect of befriending you held great potential for him; he envisioned you as a valuable ally who could aid in his continuous growth as a physician. Together, with his medical expertise and your herbal knowledge, you could make a formidable team, contributing significantly to society together.
"Oh, Physician Jung! How can I help you today?" Mr. Ryu, your father, greeted him upon his entrance. For once, the doctor seemed rather flustered as he approached the counter, "Oh, uhh... I'm not here for medicine today. I came to see your daughter. Please don't take this the wrong way!" he hurriedly added, "She said I could come to learn more about herbs from her, so I—"
Your father's eyes widened in excitement as Yunho rambled on. While he didn't like the fact that his wife had to fall sick for him to finally be away from the store, it must have been a blessing in disguise because now his daughter had finally met someone, and not just anyone, but the amazing Physician Jung. Oh, he would be able to die happy if this was to be his future son-in-law.
With a little snicker, the elderly man nodded, "Ah, I see you've met my little sunshine while I was away. No need to explain yourself, I believe you. Now if you'll come with me, she's just at the back of the store."
"Here, just head straight ahead, and you should find her somewhere within the plantations," your father said, nodding his head down the hallway leading to the back of the store, "I'd take you there myself, but I don't think I should leave the store unattended."
"I've got it, Mr. Ryu, thank you."
As he walked down the hallway as instructed by Mr. Ryu, the physician wondered how the elderly man would have reacted if he knew Yunho had mistaken his dear daughter for his wife during their first meeting. That would surely ruin the image of perfection he had consistently been upholding.
But why would that matter?
The apothecary would continue to value him as a customer. Why was he suddenly concerned about how your father would view him? The direction of his own thoughts was beginning to baffle him.
Before he could become lost in his thoughts, he reached the farm and was struck by its beauty and meticulous upkeep. His admiration for you swelled, knowing that it was your work that had created such a splendid place. Ryu's Apothecary was known for its top-notch herbs and medicine, and now he understood why. His respect for you grew immensely, realising that you were the mastermind behind it all. After taking in the full view of the farm, he finally spotted you.
Is that what a fairy looks like?
The moment he spotted you amidst the herbs you were planting, he felt as if his breath had been stolen away. He already thought you were pretty before, but now, seeing you in your white and blue hanbok among the lush greenery, passionately engaged in your work, you looked even more enchanting to him.
"Ah, Physician Jung, you're here!" you exclaimed, pulling him out of his reverie with a wave of your hand, "Hurry over, I'm about to harvest this batch of Sophora roots. There's probably some valuable information here for you to learn from this."
"Right away, Miss Ryu!" he replied eagerly, rushing over to join you.
Without delay, you plunged into your work while explaining the herb to him, "This, right here, is the Sophora flavescens, native to China and Japan. Its antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties make it useful in treating conditions such as damaged livers, jaundice, eczema, ulcers, and more. I know it looks nothing like the completed product you're used to seeing, but that's because it requires several seasons of drying after harvesting before it's ready for use."
While he knew he should focus on the herbs, he found it difficult to tear his gaze away from your face. The subtle furrow of your brows and the delicate bite of your lips when you weren't speaking—adorable. Wait, did he really just think that? He'd never had such thoughts before. Sure, he'd treated plenty of beautiful ladies throughout his career, but this occurrence was a first.
"Interestingly, this plant can grow up to 5 to 7 feet tall. Even taller than you, isn't it quite amazing?" you remarked, noticing his lack of response. Frowning, you turned to him and sighed when you realised he wasn't paying attention. With a gentle nudge on his shoulder, you snapped him out of his trance.
"O-oh, sorry, you were saying?" he muttered, embarrassed to be caught zoning out.
"I... never mind. Could you please fetch the root puller from that tool rack?" you requested, opting to delegate rather than have him kneel in the dirt beside you. Perhaps he was starting to regret coming here, realising it wasn't his cup of tea. Not that you minded; he could leave if he wanted to. After all, he was the one who asked to be here. The least he could do was listen.
"Absolutely!" he responded, heading toward the tool rack to retrieve what you asked for.
Making his way toward the tool rack, he chastised himself for leaving such a poor impression. It was only your first session together, yet he was struggling to stay focused. Gosh, you must be judging him so hard right now, and he couldn't even blame you. You were kind enough to share your knowledge of herbs at his request, and here he was, lost in daydreams instead of paying attention. Determined to redeem himself, he resolved to be more useful.
Pull yourself together, Jung Yunho.
However, the doctor was so absorbed in his thoughts that he failed to notice the patch of ground still damp from your earlier watering. You did a double-take when you saw him unknowingly heading towards the wet path instead of taking the drier route.
"Wait, Physician Jung! You'll slip and fall if you go that way!" Your words of warning went unheeded, and you sprang up from your position on the ground in alarm, "Yunho! Yah, Jung Yunho!" In a panic, you dashed toward him, your eyes widening as he stepped onto the wet soil just as you reached out to grab his arm and redirect him.
But it was too late.
"You bloody idiot!" Your shout echoed across the farm as he let out a yelp, his arms instinctively encircling you as he toppled backwards, shielding you from the fall as he landed on the wet ground.
Your breath caught as you landed on his chest, faces mere inches apart, hearts racing. Huh, how have you not realised how good-looking he actually is? Wait, what? Before either of you could react, your father's voice rang out from the entrance, "Oh dear, what's with all the shouting, sunshine? Is everything alright—"
"F-father, I can explain..."
The apothecary blinked at the unexpected sight before him: his daughter atop the handsome and intelligent Physician Jung. God must have heard his prayers. With a grin, he chuckled, "Well, well! Seems like everything's more than alright! I won't intrude any further. Back to work for me!"
"N-no, Mr. Ryu! It's not like that at all!"
With a gulp, he turned to face you again, only to find you glaring down at him, "Let me go," you muttered, and he immediately loosened his grip, "O-oh, my bad." He moved to sit up as soon as you were off him, only to smile sheepishly up at you when he felt the back of his outfit completely soaked. Not only did he fail to help you with anything, but he was now causing you more trouble.
Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you raised a fist threateningly towards him, "I'll get you some new clothes to change into. Stay here and don't move, or else..."
"Y-yes, ma'am."
« Preview of Part 2 »
"Oh, my poor Yunho. I can't believe that happened," Lady Park cooed, trying to suppress her laughter as she comforted the flustered physician after completing her weekly check-up. He was really beginning to regret his decision to confide in her.
"I shouldn't have told you about it, ugh. And to think you'd be the only one not to tease me," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and turning away from her.
Lady Park softened, "I'm not teasing you, silly. You're always so serious and uptight, it's just refreshing to see you like this for once. Besides, there's nothing wrong with having feelings for someone, especially at your age. You should really consider settling down."
He scoffed, a blush creeping up his cheeks, "What? That's funny, I-I didn't say anything about liking anyone, my lady."
"You don't have to. It's written all over your handsome face," she smiled knowingly, "Hwa has that same look often, so I think I'd know better than you, Physician Jung."
Perhaps she had a point; he still couldn't shake the memory of that incident from his mind. The sensation of holding you close lingered, strangely comforting. He started to grasp why couples found solace in such intimacy. Maybe the idea of settling down, and having someone to come home to after a long day wouldn't be so bad. Maybe—
"What are you two talking about? Didn't the check-up end ages ago?" the general's voice jolted him back to the present.
"Nothing at all, my lord," he stammered, caught off guard.
Seonghwa arched an eyebrow sceptically, "You really expect me to believe you'd spent an hour talking about nothing with my wife? So, what were you doing together then?"
"Oh my god, nothing! We just talked, okay?"
"Right, now fill me in. Suit yourself if you don't want to. My wife will tell me everything eventually; just so you know, we don't keep secrets from each other."
Slapping a palm against his forehead, the physician wished he'd kept his mouth shut, "Alright, but promise not to tell anyone. If Hongjoong catches wind of this, I'll never hear the end of it."
"Deal."
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Holy sheeeet, thank you all so much for 1.7k followers! I was sleep-deprived asf while proofreading lmao I hope this one was decent HAHA I promise the next part will be more interesting!
As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3
Tag list (1/9): Tumblr is a bitch and won't let me mention more than 5 users in a single sentence, so now my tag list looks like a complete joke🤡
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@cheolliehugs @the-kpop-simp @writingwieny @stayatinykatsy @skzline |
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psychedelic-ink · 3 months
Text
ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍
ㅤㅤno outbreak!joel miller x f!reader
genre: smut, minors dni, romance, valentines day, strangers to lovers
word count: 1.2k
summary: when your friend sets you up on a blind date, you had no idea how impactful it would be.
warnings: piv, oral (fem receiving), praise, mild dirty talk, ngl this is mostly smut dvbfdvbd
a/n: hello @always-andromeda!!! I was your secret valentine!! 💘💘💘 sorry I'm slightly late but I hope you had a spectacular valentines day, and I hope this fic of a dream of a man will make you happy!
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A blind date. 
A goddamn fucking blind date. 
You still can’t believe you said yes and thought it was worth risking your mental stability for a date with a man you’ve never met, nor seen before. The agreed time was 7 pm, Valentine's Day, and lo behold it was 7.15, and still no sign of the famous Joel Miller. 
“This was stupid,” you mutter, looking around the crowded bar. You got stood up that’s for sure. You should leave, go home, and snuggle up with your favorite book under the bed. 
You're already seated at a cozy booth, nursing a half-forgotten drink as you contemplate your escape plan. Suddenly, a voice cuts through the chatter of the bar.
"Hey there."
You turn, startled, to see a man standing before you. He has a slightly sheepish grin on his face, as if he's been searching for you for a while. He repeats your name, a bit firmer this time, probably thinking he might have had the wrong person. Swiftly your eyes move up and down his frame, broad shoulders, broad chest— His dark, tousled hair frames a ruggedly handsome face, with tired, yet alert, eyes that seem to hold a thousand stories. 
"Yeah, that's me," you reply, trying to hide your surprise. "And you must be Joel?"
"Guilty as charged," he says with a soft smile. "Sorry, I'm late. Traffic was hell."
“That’s alright. . .” 
He raises an eyebrow, still smiling, “You sure that’s what you think? You looked right about to leave, honey.” 
"Well, I... I was just... considering my options," you stammer, feeling a bit flustered under his scrutiny.
Joel's smile widens, and he chuckles softly. "I'm glad you decided to stick around," he says, his voice warm and reassuring. "I promise to make it worth your while."
There's a sincerity in his words that puts you at ease, and you find yourself relaxing in his presence. Maybe this blind date won't be such a disaster after all.
"I'll grab us some drinks," Joel offers, standing up from the booth.
You nod, grateful for the distraction. "Sure, sounds good. I'll have a Negroni."
As Joel heads towards the bar, he glances back at you with an amused twinkle in his eye. "Don't run off while I'm gettin’ them now," he teases.
You let out a laugh, feeling a warmth spreading through you. "Don't worry," you reply, meeting his gaze. "I'm not going anywhere now that you're here."
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He’s a single dad. 
A contractor. 
And most importantly, he’s eager to take you home. 
In the short amount of time that you got to know him, you feel as if this blind date was a key moment in your life. You already know this wouldn’t be the only time, and by the way he’s kissing you right now, you know that he feels it too. 
You had done the most cliche thing possible, asking if he wanted to come upstairs for a drink. 
All hell broke loose as soon as you closed your apartment door. 
His tongue is deep in your mouth as he sucks on your bottom lip, teeth nipping at the tender flesh. His large hands are under your skirt, squeezing your ass. You moan wantonly into his mouth, your eyes rolling all the way back into your skull. You’re burning and all he does is fan the flames. 
“Look at you, so good to me making those sweet noises,” he pulls his mouth away only an inch, making you feel the fan of his breath. His lips are shining under the dim light. “Make some more pretty girl. Make me hear all of it.” 
Without warning he slips two fingers between your folds, circling them around your clit. Your insides clench, more wetness gathering between your legs. Another moan rips from your throat. Joel gives you a half smile, eyes growing dark the more you let go and fall. 
“Can’t wait to take you apart again and again and again,” his lips ghost your cheek, mapping a road to your ear. You shudder against him. “Where’s the bedroom?” 
It takes you a second to understand the question. At least you thought it was a second, his deep laughter makes you think otherwise. “You really know how to make a man feel good about himself, sweetheart. But as much as I would love to fuck you on the floor, a bed would be better for a sweet thing like yourself.” 
“If you continue sweet-talking me like that I might just combust.” 
“That’s the plan darlin’,” he murmurs as you guide him. “I can’t wait to taste your mess.” 
As soon as he strips you down and lays you on the bed, he takes his place between your legs. A man of his word. He’s still fully clothed, you only managed to unbutton his jeans but that was it. He grinds down into the soft flesh of the bed as his tongue dips between your folds, licking and slurping, he moves up to your clit and sucks the sensitive nub, making you shout. 
“Let go, sweetheart. Need you to come at least once before you take me.” 
He sucks your clit again and again, applying pressure with his tongue, he slips in two fingers, curling them at just the right angle—
“Fuck—Joel, I’m—“
“Come for me, darlin’. Give me what I asked for and make me a happy man.” 
With a gasp, you let go, your whole body trembling as Joel continues to work his magic until you're left breathless and spent. He gives your clit one last lick before pulling away, a cocky grin on his face. 
"Damn, you look beautiful when you come. I can't wait to see it again," he says as he leans in for a quick kiss, before getting up and shedding his own clothes. You take a moment to admire his body before he's on top of you, his lips pressed against yours again. 
With each kiss, each touch, the fire between the two of you only intensifies. You don't even notice when he slips a condom on and pushes inside you, the pleasure taking over. 
Joel's thrusts are slow and deep, his hands gripping your hips as he moves in and out of you with increasing speed. You can feel the pressure building in your core again.
"God, you feel so good," Joel groans, his breath hot against your neck as he kisses and nips at your skin. "I can't get enough of you."
You feel the tight coil in your stomach unravel again, and you cry out as you come for a second time. Joel follows soon after, collapsing on top of you as he catches his breath. 
He rolls off of you and pulls you into his arms, both of you covered in a light sheen of sweat. You lay there in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Joel speaks up. 
"Can I be honest with you, sweetheart?" 
"Of course," you reply, turning to look at him. 
"I haven't felt a spark like this with anyone in a long time. I want to see where this goes," he says, sincerity in his voice. 
"I feel the same way," you admit, smiling at him. 
Joel's fingers brush your cheek before leaning in for a soft kiss. You can't believe your luck, finding someone who could ignite such a passionate fire in you. You know this is just the beginning of something special between the two of you. And you can't wait to see where it takes you.
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dixons-sunshine · 2 months
Text
Daryl Dixon x Mom!Reader With Baby Headcannons
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*GIF isn't mine*
Warnings: None, really.
Word count: 802
A/n: I'm in desperate need for some Scud Frohmeyer or Daryl requests. I have two requests that I'm working on right now but I have no idea where I want to go with them, so they're going to be on hold for now until I get the motivation to write them again. I'm so sorry, but I'm hoping that some new ideas might spark some motivation back into my mind, then I can go back to those stories and give it my all!
★ For Daryl Dixon, there were only three days in his entire life that meant the world to him—the day you became his, the day you told him that you were pregnant and the day your baby was born.
★ When he held his baby for the first time, he definitely teared up a little. The little being in his arms was so tiny but so perfect. He would die to protect his baby.
★ Daryl would have no problems with staying up late to take care of the baby while you slept. In fact, he would insist on it most of the time. He didn't want to be the type of guy who slept while the girl had to always take care of the baby. You and the baby were the most important people to Daryl, and if it meant offering up his sleep to ensure you both were okay and that you, the mother of his child was well rested, so be it.
★ Although Daryl took most of the night shifts with the baby, there were a lot of times when you'd refuse to go back to sleep and stubbornly stay up with him.
★ In those 3am times with the two of you taking care of your bundle of joy is when Daryl would wonder how he managed to get that lucky. Merle had told him once that people like him and Daryl weren't cut out to have families and that even if they did, it would bring them nothing but misery.
★ But there he was, holding both the love of his life and his baby, in his arms, and he was the happiest man in the world.
★ Daryl would be so affectionate with the baby that you wished that you had a video camera to record it.
★ He would tell the baby stories that he could vaguely remember Beth telling Judith back at the prison, and he would tell them in the softest voice ever. There was no doubt that he loved that baby with his whole heart.
★ He would definitely also be extremely affectionate with you. Cuddles, kisses, hugs, you name it. Mainly because he's happy with his little family, but also because he's relieved. He knew the risks of dying while giving birth were there, so to have you alive and well after the birth was a huge relief to him.
★ While the feelings of happiness and love overpower his other emotions most of the time, doubt and fear still creep up from time to time.
★ Daryl feared that something would happen to you and the baby. It was a dangerous world you lived in and anything could happen at any given moment. But Daryl swore to himself that he would die fighting to protect you and your little one.
★ Daryl also doubted sometimes if he was a good father. He never had a good example of one growing up and he feared that he would end up being like his father. But even as those thoughts plagued his mind, one look at his baby and he knew that he would never be able to be that cruel towards his little one. However, the fear still lingered, and it would probably be there forever.
★ You and the baby came first. Always. You thought Daryl was overprotective while you were pregnant? It would be nothing compared to when the baby is born. Everybody knew not to even look at you wrong or they would be food for the walkers.
★ His escapades beyond the walls would decrease significantly. He preferred to be by yours and the baby's sides as much as he could, and nobody would be able to tear him away.
★ Daryl has definitely snuck a picture of you holding the baby in your arms while the both of you were sleeping. He keeps it in his pocket at all times.
★ Daryl would definitely keep the baby in his arms at all times if you ever had to venture beyond the walls.
★ Yours and the baby's safety were his main priority, so he definitely wouldn't let you out of his sight until you're all back inside the walls again.
★ He loves you both with his whole heart, that much anyone could see.
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matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
Text
Paws and Pixels: VoxPet™️
Tiny!Vox x Reader
A/N: Totally writing this thing because of a cute chat session I had with some wonderful people on a Hazbin discord server, it's a shitposty idea but it was a cute one so I couldn't help but write about it. A continuation to "Get off my Screen!" is in the works alongside some other requests too! I'm just glad it was received so well, thanks y'all!
A/N: Btw, the chibi Vox art isn't mine. I might draw something similar with a Y/N eventually though so message me or request it in my askbox if you wanna see it XD
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You wished you could say it was a normal day.
But truth be told-
It was so far off from that.
The Vee tower was complete mess by the time you had arrived.
The place was often busy, you knew that much-
But to fall into complete disarray?
Your beloved would have never even allowed it.
Speaking of your lover, where the hell was he?
His absence left you more than puzzled, this was Vox you were talking about after all.
Mr. I-have-to-keep-an-eye-on-everything-or-it-all-entirely-goes-to-shit-
You couldn't say he was wrong this time however, walking towards the elevator with intent to find the other Vees.
But of course they ended up finding you first.
It was Velvette who abruptly dragged you away from the chaos in the office.
Not that you still quite understood what was going on and the reason for her urgency.
"WhaA- Vel??"
"Sorry darling, we've got a bit of an issue as you can clearly tell- but there's just something I absolutely must show you."
You didn't really even have time to ask questions before you saw Valentino rush past you.
Was he holding a phone in each hand?
He barely even greeted you in his hasty exit, probably too busy with the 4 phone conversations he was having simultaneously.
All this chaos and your boyfriend still hasn't shown up.
You started getting worried that something happened to him.
But what Velvette ended up showing you was definitely not at all what you expected.
Especially since you didn't expect to find Vox here of all places.
That and... he wasn't quite himself.
Not that you were complaining, but it was really weird seeing your boyfriend so tiny.
He was probably plushie-sized to be honest.
You would have found it cute if it weren't for the shock from everything else.
The tiny Vox visibly perked up when he saw you.
Was he beeping or squeaking?
"What... what the fuck even happened???"
"Do you want the whole story or a TLDR?"
While you lightly poked the smaller Vox that stood atop the table, Velvette quickly updated you on what had transpired before your arrival.
Apparently, Vox had gone and gotten himself in trouble with some goons earlier in the day.
It wasn't often Vox would get hurt by anything, he was an overlord after all-
But sometimes people got lucky or they really just ganged up on him in big numbers.
The good news was he won, the bad news was he'd gotten pretty beat up because of it.
Shattered screen, fried motherboard, stray wires, and a whole other myriad of issues to boot.
He'd come back to the tower needing a ton of repairs.
Problem was, he'd run out of the needed spare parts and his backup body wasn't in any good condition to be used either.
So go figure, your creative boyfriend decided to handle his situation in another way after he'd put in the order for said needed parts.
They'd probably arrive in just a few days but seriously-
You could only stare at the tiny version of your lover in bewilderment.
There was absolutely no understanding of what was running through this man's brain.
He was even wearing a miniature version of his typical outfit, coat and all!
"Soooo... has he just been in here the whole time?"
"Pretty much. He doesn't really talk either, Val and I haven't figured out if it's because he can't or won't."
"Oh lord."
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, patting the tiny Vox with your hands.
You honestly wanted to be more mad at the situation-
But Vox really just looked too cute.
You just wanted to freakin squeeze him-
"I'm gonna need a purse to carry him around..."
"Oh wow, you're treatin' 'im like a pet already."
You rolled your eyes at Velvette's comment, looking down at your currently tiny boyfriend to find him staring at you.
He had absolutely no business being this cute-
"I'm taking him home, I'd gather that you and Val can handle things here?"
"For the most part, just be a dear and make sure nothing else happens to 'im until his parts arrive."
You just rolled your eyes again.
Great way of stating the obvious Velvette.
Besides, Vox was still an overlord and the strongest of the Vees.
His powers shouldn't have been affected in this form right??
There was no way your beloved went ahead and made himself as harmless as he looked-
At least that's what you had hoped.
However, you picked him up in both hands- you were starting to doubt that.
Vox merely tilted his monitor head to get a better look at you before beeping, his legs dangled slightly from how you held him.
BEEPING AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOUR WORDS FOOL-
"Huh, he's never made that sound before."
You were really starting to regret even walking into the building today.
And that was of course when your miniature boyfriend decided it was the perfect time to lightly zap you.
It didn't hurt, but it was enough for your attention to go back to him.
Only to see his face all pink with a bunch of hearts emoticons on it.
This little shit-
You really couldn't stay mad at him for long.
Eventually when you were able to get a grip on yourself, Velvette handed you a purse to put Vox in as requested- and you were on your way home.
What did the other Vees even expect you to do with Vox like this?
Did you accidentally become your boyfriend's babysitter??
Today was just way too tiring for you already.
You practically collapsed on the couch once you got home.
Dropping the purse with tiny lover in it on one of the nearby cushions, you didn't really care about the annoyed squeaking that came from inside the bag from the rough landing.
Vox just crawled out of the small purse with a huff.
He figured you would've liked him being all cute this way.
But judging by your reactions-
He couldn't tell if you liked it or hated it.
He did feel slightly bad seeing how tired you were though.
Practically waddling over towards you, Vox patted your head trying to get your attention.
When that didn't work he started beeping and squeaking until you raised your head and looked at him again.
And you were surprised when he awkwardly moved to hug you.
Well, hug your face rather.
The words: "I'm sorry." flashing on his tiny screen.
You sighed tiredly.
Even if he was a little infuriating at times, you still loved Vox's antics.
This one included.
"It's okay, I'm okay. Everything just happened way too fast."
A heart then appeared on his tiny screen face and you pretty much melted.
He was just too fuckin cute.
A/N: Might write a part 2 for this with other headcanons, this was so friggin adorable AHAHAHAHAHA
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roosterforme · 6 days
Text
Covering the Classics Part 9 | Bob Floyd x OC
Summary: After Anna joins him for dinner, Bob knows he needs to accept that they really are just friends. Even though her kisses are perfection. Even though he's falling in love. But what's going to stop Anna when she realizes Bob's poems are very familiar to her?
Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, Bob in gray sweatpants, eventually 18+
Length: 5700 words
Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)
Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!
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Bob couldn't imagine a world in which he'd go to this much trouble to make the perfect dinner for a woman who he was falling in love with, only to hear her say the words just friends. But apparently it was the world he was living in, because he spent days comparing recipes from both Bradley and Jake, hoping to make something that Anna would find irresistible.
"You should make my lasagna," Jake said for the tenth time at work on Friday morning.
Bradley snorted. "Great idea, as long as you never want to see her again. Make my homemade pasta," he told Bob. "I already gave you the recipe."
Bob just kept nodding and agreeing with whatever they said, hoping they'd eventually be quiet. Anna was coming over tonight, and he still didn't have a solid plan in mind beyond trying to convince her he'd be worth her time. That it was okay to be more than friends.
While the guys argued, Bob got himself ready to get in the air with Phoenix. He must have looked flustered, because she rubbed her thumb gently across the back of his hand when he stood next to her in the hangar. "You seem nervous. Are you still trying to figure out what to make for dinner?"
"Yeah," he replied quietly.
"Oh, Bob. She's not going to care what you make. It could be a grilled cheese sandwich."
"I always burn those," he said with a small smile. "I just feel like this is pointless. I invited her over anyway even though I know she just wants to be friends, but I'm still standing here hoping for more. I shouldn't be doing this, even if we did makeout in her office."
Nat sighed and asked, "Do you want my grandma's recipe for bruschetta chicken? You liked it when you tried it at her house last summer, and it's not that hard to make."
His eyes lit up. "Please." 
He'd only have a little bit of time to himself to prepare the meal and cook it before Anna came over, and he listened as Nat called her grandma and asked her to send it over. Before they were even called out of the hangar to start the day, he had a photo of the handwritten recipe in his phone.
"Nat, you're a lifesaver."
"Just save me some of the leftovers."
--------------------------
Friday was going so well for Anna, she almost forgot to be nervous about dinner. She met with the dean to discuss how her classes were going, and he even brought up the word tenure which sent her into a giddy spiral where she treated herself to a candy bar from the vending machine which she couldn't really afford. She carried it out to eat lunch in the quad with her friends along with her regular, uninspired sandwich and ginger ale.
She hadn't mentioned a word about going to Bob's house for dinner, but she was absolutely certain both ladies knew about it. She almost found it comical the way they were trying to get her to say something about it, but Jessica was clearly ready to boil over.
"Hi," Anna greeted, biting into her Snickers bar as she settled on the bench between them. Advanced Calculus casually offered her some carrots and hummus while Jessica's cheeks started to grow a furious shade of pink. 
"When were you going to tell us Bob invited you over for dinner tonight?" she exclaimed. 
Anna shrugged and said, "I was probably just going to tell you about it on Monday since it's nothing because we are just friends. It's only as exciting as it would be if I went over to your place for dinner."
"That's exciting, too!" Jessica said. "You should absolutely come over for dinner! But you're wrong, because it's not as exciting as Bob cooking dinner for you!"
"Jess. Chill out," came the voice from Anna's other side. "She'll learn soon enough that dinner cooked by one of the Top Gun boys is essentially a marriage proposal on a plate. A very sexy and delicious marriage proposal. You and he will be sleeping together in no time."
Anna chewed up the last bite of her Snickers and shook her head. "You're both wrong. Bob and I are just friends. The dinner means nothing, and we're not going to sleep together."
"Oh, please!" Jessica was back to practically shouting now. "If you think he's actually okay with all the making out, then you've lost your mind. He doesn't want it to be meaningless. He likes you."
Anna looked at her feet. "I know he does. I like him too."
"Then stop stringing him along! I don't understand what the problem is here, Anna."
She sat quietly now, no longer feeling so great as she picked at her sandwich.
"Hey, I know Jess sounds like an excitable terrier, but maybe you need a little tough love," Advanced Calculus said as she dipped a carrot into the hummus. "You can talk to us, you know. You can tell us what's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong," Anna whispered as her mind flooded with thoughts of Kevin and what he might be up to at the moment. 
Jess took a deep calming breath before she said, "There's just no good reason to put your dream man in the friend zone. And don't even try to lie and say Bob Floyd isn't perfection."
"He is," Anna whispered. Other than her infatuation with Sky Writing, Bob was the closest thing to a dream come true that she'd ever encountered before. But she did have her reasons, and she was too embarrassed to talk about it out loud. She was certain that Jess already knew her current financial state was in ruins, and it might be nice to have her friends understand where she was coming from, but she didn't want them to pity her. That was the last thing she needed right now. "You know what, I think I'm going to get ready for my next lecture."
She was on her feet and rushing away as her friends called after her, but she didn't stop walking until she reached her office. She was not going to cry over this, and she definitely didn't want to cancel on Bob. The only thing she could do to calm down was look at all of the books on her shelves, letting her gaze glide over the colorful spines. Then she read the note from Bob that was tucked in her copy of Papillon.
Freedom would feel like being so in love, you'd willingly let another person lock you to their side.
-------------------------------
Bob had a fully stocked kitchen filled with a nice set of pots and pans and sharp knives and anything else he could possibly want, but right now, it was like he'd never cooked anything before in his life. Nat's grandmother actually had atrocious handwriting, and he could barely make out the measurements in the photo he had to work with.
"Basil," he muttered to himself, grabbing the leafy greens from the cutting board and wondering why it looked like he was supposed to use three cups of them. "I didn't even buy that much!"
He took a deep breath and walked around his kitchen, trying to clear his head. Anna was going to grab an Uber. She would be arriving in about an hour with wine and dessert. He wanted to feed her the most delicious meal he could muster, but right now he was just looking at the chicken breast on the plate in front of him like he'd never seen food before.
And he just knew Jake and Bradley never had to work this hard for a woman in their lives. Jake could rely mostly on his looks if he wanted to, and Bradley was the luckiest person he knew, reuniting with the love of his life after ten years and getting married approximately a day later. "No," he whispered, "that's not fair to them." He knew he was wrong. He knew both of them worked to get where they ended up, and he shouldn't be putting himself down so much. 
He glared at the chicken and picked up a knife. "This is fine. No problem." He had to fudge some of the measurements which made no sense, and he'd suggest to Nat that maybe her grandmother should take an eye exam, but the recipe really wasn't too terribly hard. Soon he had the browned chicken in the oven, and he set to work on the bruschetta topping and started boiling some water for the pasta. He was just adding another tablespoon of balsamic vinegar to the tomatoes and basil when he heard Anna's beautiful laughter.
Bob nearly knocked the bowl to the floor in his haste to get to her. After grabbing a dish towel for his hands, he rushed toward his front door and saw her on his porch. She was wearing a little sundress that he'd seen her in before with her worn out denim jacket over it, and he froze a few feet inside his screen door just so he could look at her. She was juggling a shopping bag and a bottle of wine, and that's when he realized she was talking to Suzanne.
"Oh, no, I'm not in the Navy," she was saying as she tossed her beautiful, red hair over her shoulder. "I'm a professor at San Diego State University. My name's Anna."
She stretched her hand out, and then Bob heard Suzanne's voice. "I'm Suzanne, and that's my cat, Sylvester. I must say, I had no idea Robert got himself a girlfriend. And such a pretty one!"
He desperately wanted to interrupt their conversation before he could hear what Anna's response was going to be, but he just couldn't. She was standing there in the last rays of the setting sun, blushing as she said, "Bob and I are actually just friends. Just good friends."
There was a beat of silence before Suzanne laughed. "Have you seen him? And he's even sweeter than he is handsome!"
Anna was laughing nervously, and Bob's heart was pounding, but he opened the screen door to bail her out anyway. "Hey," he greeted as naturally as he could, and then Anna's apprehensive gaze met his. God, all he wanted to do was drag her inside, push her up against his living room wall and kiss until she realized he wasn't going to hurt her.
"Bob," she whispered, taking a small step in his direction. Her eyes were wide and perceptive, like she could read his every thought on his face. She cleared her throat and said, "I brought wine and some cookies."
Helpless to do much of anything else, he smiled at her. "Dinner's almost ready." Then he leaned further out the door and said, "Hi, Suzanne."
His next door neighbor looked delighted as she glanced between him and Anna. "I was just talking to your charming friend here, Robert. Cooking dinner for someone certainly sounds romantic to me."
Bob was gripping the door frame as he watched Anna's face fill with panic. Then she blurted out, "Why doesn't Suzanne join us?"
-------------------------------
The only thing Anna could think to do was sabotage the dinner she'd been looking forward to all week. She watched Bob's face fall slightly as he realized she invited his next door neighbor to join them for a very platonic dinner. And since Bob was the sweetest man Anna had ever met, he recovered immediately, turned to Suzanne and said, "You're more than welcome."
Ten minutes later, Bob was opening the bottle of cheap wine she'd brought while Anna watched the veins in his hands. He was graceful and lovely, and Suzanne was talking nonstop as he poured three glasses. She had nobody to blame but herself for inviting a third wheel along. The older woman was really more of a safety net. Someone to prevent Anna from kissing Bob. Someone to stop her from falling completely in love with him.
The whole house smelled amazing, and she knew this dinner was supposed to be just for her. She hadn't eaten a real meal like this, other than at the cookout, in months and months. The first bite of chicken, bruschetta and pasta was delicious enough that she moaned softly. Bob watched her take a second bite, and it was incredible. The third bite left her staring at him in wonder.
"You're the best cook in the world," Anna informed him, cutting across Suzanne talking about her cat. She didn't even care if she was being rude, the food was perfect. And it would have somehow been even better if the two of them were alone.
Bob blushed and took a sip of the wine that Anna wished was better than it was. "Thanks. Uh, it was a new recipe. I've never made it before tonight."
Suzanne took a bite and said, "Robert is an excellent cook and a real gentleman. He always makes sure I have groceries, and he picks up a little something for me if he gets dinner on his way home from work."
As Bob's cheeks grew redder, Anna's heart beat faster. "A real gentleman," she echoed, knowing he'd take care of anyone who needed something.
"Yes," Suzanne said. "You don't see many of them around. Never seen many myself."
Neither had Anna, and after she blew her life to bits, she'd probably never see one again. She listened to Bob and Suzanne talk about their favorite game shows, and she cleaned her plate before either of them had finished. All of the toast and sad sandwiches she'd been eating weren't really cutting it, and she knew that. She also didn't want to get another piece of chicken and seem like a mooch.
"Can I get you more?" Bob asked as he stood on the opposite side of the table in his worn jeans and snug white shirt. "There's plenty left."
Anna shook her head, but he reached for her plate anyway. While he was in the kitchen, Suzanne quickly finished eating and downed the rest of her wine. Softly, just for Anna to hear, she said, "He is a very nice man. I hope I see you around here in a less friendly capacity." Then she called out, "Robert? I need to go. I hear Sylvester outside bugging for food. Thanks for dinner, and enjoy your evening."
"Night, Suzanne," he replied, and the older woman bustled off without another word, leaving Anna alone with Bob when he returned with two plates refilled with food. "She's a character."
Anna laughed, but she could tell Bob was hesitant to say too much now. Probably because she'd dashed the mood in the first place. "I'm sorry I suggested she join us," she told him sincerely, shaking her head. "All week long, I'd been looking forward to talking about books with you." 
As she poked at her chicken, afraid of what he was going to say, he said, "Once you finish eating, I could show you my books. I don't have as many as you do, but maybe there's something you'd like to borrow in the mix. And then I'll drive you home."
"I can get an Uber," she insisted, taking another bite of the perfectly cooked dinner. 
"And I can just as easily drive you."
He was a gentleman. She wasn't going to leave here in an Uber no matter what she said. "Alright."
----------------------------
"You have books in every room!" Anna exclaimed as she walked around his house nibbling on a cookie. The wine she brought was kind of terrible, and so were the grocery store cookies, but Bob didn't mind. She ate two full plates of the dinner he cooked, and now that Suzanne was gone, she seemed more herself.
"I have a system," he insisted as she sat down on his living room floor to inspect a stack of paperbacks.
"I'm not buying it," she said, glancing at him over her shoulder.
"Try me. The living room is poetry. The extra bedroom is mysteries. The dining room is true crime."
"What's in your bedroom?" she asked, flipping through a collection by Robert Frost.
Bob wanted to tell her that his bedroom was where he wrote his own poetry. And that they had begun to turn into a collection all about her. "Romance," he said.
She laughed softly, such a pretty sound. "I'm assuming you don't have any Vonnegut? No soul massacring, unhappy endings?"
"None," he promised. "You won't find any of those around here."
She was skimming a page as she muttered, "Good. I've had enough of that anyway." Then she stood and carried the Frost poems to another small pile on his coffee table. She rooted around and pulled out a volume by Walt Whitman before asking, "Could I borrow these two?"
Bob was admiring how perfect she looked in his house when she met his eyes with her pretty brown ones. "Of course," he said, dropping down onto the couch as he finished his own cookie. "Anything you want."
She stood and carried the books over to her purse before sitting down a few feet away from him. "What I want is to help you organize your books for real. Have you ever heard of a bookshelf before?"
"Never," he replied innocently. "What's that?"
She laughed and scooted a little closer. "You know those big, wooden things that were holding all the books when we met at that store in North Park? Remember that day?"
He knew she was just joking around, but as he memorized the pattern of her freckles, he said, "I will never forget that day."
Once again, Anna initiated the kiss, and once again, Bob was helpless to pump the brakes. She leaned in close with her hand on his knee and brushed her lips against his. It was so sweet, he was almost able to ask her to stop. Even though it felt too good, he was nearly able to tell her he couldn't do this. But being tortured was worth it. That was the worst part.
He let her do what she wanted, and her soft hands found their way to his face, knocking his glasses askew on their way into his hair. He wanted to touch her, but he was afraid he'd lose himself in these kisses that meant so much more to him than they did to her. He counted to ten slowly in his mind, savoring every touch and taste, letting Anna settle against his thigh. Then he broke the kiss, leaving her hovering there, surprise on her face.
She pressed her lips together, and turned her face toward his front door. "I'll never forget that day either."
He nodded as her hands fell away from his hair and his face, and he whispered, "Grab the books you want to borrow, and I'll drive you home."
----------------------------
"He's a gentleman," Anna groaned in her bed on the floor of her tiny apartment the following morning. It was Saturday, and she didn't have much she needed to accomplish today which would leave her plenty of time to think about the drive home in Bob's truck and the way he walked her to her door. She didn't kiss him again, but he always seemed to be close enough that she could feel his body heat in the chilly night air. Even now, when she grabbed at some strands of her hair, she swore she could still smell his fresh scent there.
She needed to get out. She grabbed her phone and took the longest walk imaginable. Her legs were burning by the time she stopped in a corner store for something to eat for lunch, but the sandwich was almost as bad as the ones she had been making for herself. Nothing would be as good as what Bob cooked, and he served it up last night like it was no big deal at all.
As Anna started the long walk back to her apartment, she groaned while she blasted her music. She had invited his elderly neighbor to join them for dinner, and then she had kissed him again. She was so embarrassing. She'd never been like this when she was in New Jersey, never doing the most mortifying things over and over. 
She didn't go home for a long time. She walked through an enormous park and looked at a fountain while she daydreamed about all of her unfinished manuscripts. When that started to hurt too much, she watched the storm clouds that were rolling in from the coast and thought it might be nice to get soaking wet. Then a few fat raindrops started to hit her face as she realized that she wouldn't be able to replace her phone if it got destroyed. 
"Damn it," she muttered, starting to run through the park under the cover of the trees. The sky was quickly getting darker as she tried to stay under awnings and overhangs as much as possible until she reached her apartment building. Her clothing was soaked, but her phone was still in working order when she ran inside, dripping all over the welcome mat in the small entryway.
She desperately wanted to cry, but that wouldn't solve anything, so she took a long shower instead. She washed and braided her hair, and then she painted her nails. When she finally picked up her phone again, she had a new message from Bob.
Bob Floyd: Taking your advice and buying one of those bookshelves? Was that what they were called? Which one do you think is better?
He had attached two screenshots of nice looking shelves from Ikea that she'd never be able to afford at the moment. She smiled as she typed back to him while she heated up a can of soup for dinner.
Yes, they are called bookshelves. Are you sure you know how to use them? I like the navy blue one better.
The flavorless chicken noodle soup went well with Anna's mood as she sat on the floor and watched a show on her phone. Part of her wanted to know what her friends were up to, but she didn't want to have to tell them about last night. She knew Bob and Jess would be going out to play Dungeons & Dragons soon anyway, but she dropped her spoon in the bowl when Bob wrote back again.
Bob Floyd: I think I'll pick it up tomorrow and make it my rainy Sunday project. Feel like helping me build it?
"Oh, Anna. Don't."
-------------------------------
Bob pulled up to Anna's building on Sunday afternoon after stopping to pick up the shelf. It had been pouring rain since last night, and he had to wrap his new furniture box in a tarp to protect it in the bed of his truck. But this would be a great way to spend the afternoon. He could make two cups of tea, and she could help him organize his books. They didn't need to kiss anymore. He would see to it that they didn't. He could handle this whole thing without issue.
He left his truck idling at the curb, and Anna came running outside like she'd been waiting for him. He grabbed his umbrella and met her halfway, shouting, "I was going to walk up and get you!" over the sound of the rain. She joined him under the umbrella, her denim jacket pretty wet as she shrugged.
"The rain's okay. It reminds me of New Jersey."
Once he opened the door and helped her scramble in, he ran around to the other side of the truck. He was barely able to find a dry spot on his shirt so he could wipe off his glasses, and when he yanked the hem up, he could feel Anna's eyes on his body. There was no sense in feeling self conscious about the way he looked now, because nothing else was going to happen. Last night had to be the end of that.
"You ready?" he asked, cranking the key in the ignition when she nodded. His wipers were going full speed as he drove her back to his house for the second visit in one weekend. "Thanks for helping with this. I kind of realized that having everything on one big shelf makes more sense. Especially if I keep borrowing books from you."
Her laugh was soft as she said, "If you don't borrow my books, then nobody will."
"Same goes for mine," he replied easily as he headed toward the beach. "But don't you dare dog ear my pages."
Now she laughed louder. "I read most of Whitman last night before I fell asleep, and there's nary a bent page in sight."
"That's what I like to hear." When he pulled up in front of his house, he handed her the umbrella and his keys. "Go ahead and let yourself in, and I'll unload the box."
She just gaped at him in response and asked, "Don't you need help carrying it?"
"Nah," he replied, popping his door open, "I can get it."
Bob struggled a little bit with the tarp before sliding the massive box closer to the edge of the truck tailgate. Every movement was made slower by the pounding rain in his face, but he managed to tip it into his arms. It was heavy, but not too bad, and his grip on the wet cardboard was good enough for him to get it inside the house. Anna was standing on the porch, holding open his screen door with the umbrella folded up at her feet, and he accidentally brushed against her with his arm as he maneuvered himself through the door.
"Sorry."
"It's okay," she said, her voice a little breathy as she let the screen door close and helped him prop the box against the wall. "This is massive."
"I guess now I can buy more books," he said with his hands on his hips while he dripped all over the place. "I'm going to get changed quickly, and then we can build the shelf and organize it, and then I'll make dinner."
Her eyes lit up. "You'll make dinner again?"
"Yeah. I was going to see if I can attempt a grilled cheese without burning it. I'll be right back." And then he headed upstairs to his bedroom where he had clean undershirts, some sweatpants and all of his favorite books.
---------------------------
Anna was halfway through unboxing and organizing the shelf pieces on the floor when Bob walked back downstairs. She'd removed her denim jacket, and her leggings and tank top were mostly dry, and she'd settled on the floor with the instruction book. "It looks like we'll need a screwdriver or a drill...." 
Her sentence tapered off when she looked up at Bob just casually standing there in one of his white shirts and a pair of gray sweatpants and neatly combed, damp hair. The ability to speak escaped her.
"I can grab my toolbox," he told her, adjusting the waistband of his sweatpants before disappearing toward the kitchen. She needed to lie down. She stretched out on the floor and stared at the ceiling as rain pelted the window next to her. 
"Oh my god," she whispered before biting down on her lip. She wanted him. She liked every damn thing about him, and then he had to look and smell and sound so good on top of it all. The Walt Whitman poems weren't the only thing she had read last night. Sky Writing's words from her favorite poems were also in her mind, and she couldn't shake them. Anna had just rolled into her side, staring at the instructions without actually seeing them, when he walked back in. 
"Are you okay?"
"Great," she said, voice raspy. She was in fact not great. She was the opposite of great. When Bob handed her the toolbox and said he was going to make two mugs of tea, she took the time to pull herself together. Sweaty palms glided along her leggings, and she read the instructions through. It seemed simple enough, and she had the hardware in order by the time Bob returned with two steaming mugs.
"Thanks," she whispered as he settled onto the floor next to her. She knew this was how good things would be if she could date Bob. Hot tea and homemade meals and someone around who loved books. "You're really sweet."
He didn't say anything as he sipped his tea, so Anna did the same. It was raining so hard, she couldn't tell if what she heard was thunder or not, but inside Bob's house, everything was warm and cozy. "Let's get started," he finally said, leaning in front of her to set his mug on the windowsill.
They spoke quietly, mostly about the shelf, while she handed him hardware and tools. Anna found herself distracted as she watched his hair dry and lighten in color as they worked together. Every bump of his muscular arm against hers felt intentional, but she couldn't tell for sure, and she was too afraid to ruin this friendship beyond repair. Especially after what her friends had told her at lunch on Friday.
"I need the screwdriver," he said, bumping her gently with his elbow as he held two perpendicular pieces of wood in place. 
"I can get it," she replied, finally refocused on the task before her. "I'll screw it in." She tried to reach in front of him, but he was too tall. When he moved his arms a little further apart, she popped up between them so she was standing between his body and the shelf. "I'll only take a second."
She could feel Bob's warm breath against her ear, and all he could think was that she would fit perfectly in his arms if he decided to just drop what he was holding and wrap them around her instead. "Take your time," he murmured, because of course his arms wouldn't get tired in this position. She fumbled the screw. His body was immaculate, and it was all she could think about as he exhaled and tickled her hair.
"I'm trying," she whispered, fumbling the screw again. Finally she had it in place, and Bob released the shelf, but he didn't move away from her.
"Think you can screw the last two in as well? Then we'll be done."
She nodded and decided to go slower, savor this tiny bit of intimacy and pretend he was hers. Then it was done.
"It looks good."
She barely had to turn to look at him over her shoulder. "It's a nice shelf. How do you want to arrange your books?"
He was still standing close as he said, "Poetry on the top? Since it's my favorite?"
"Yeah," she told him with a laugh. "Banish it to the top where nobody but you can reach it."
He cocked his head and leaned in closer. "Are you insulting the poetry or commenting on my height?"
"A bit of both," she replied right away. The living was darker now from the storm and from the time of day, but she could see his smile perfectly. 
"Come on, Anna. We both know you love the poetry. You borrowed two volumes the other day."
She only hummed in response before ducking away from him and reaching for a stack of his books. She handed them to him one at a time, commenting on them like she was giving each a bad review. "Oh, this one is too flowery. Too many words and no substance." She handed him another after he shelved the first one. "This author put all their best works at the beginning of the collection. The second half is terrible."
Bob chuckled as she picked up a book that she knew was a favorite of his. "Hey, you better watch what you say about that one."
She waved it in the air, unable to reach the top shelf, and he snatched it out of her hand. "I'm going to be brutally honest," she said softly, and Bob's hand rested on her back almost like a warning. "I loved it."
He smiled and let his fingers trail along her back as he nodded toward the stairs. "Want to help me tackle the mystery books in the extra bedroom?"
"Sure," she told him, leading the way to the steps. "But first, you have to tell me why you like poetry so much."
"What's not to like?" he replied as she started up. "All of the emotions are there. You're allowed to write about any combination of emotions that you're feeling at any given time. And I think that's pretty cool."
Anna's steps slowed a little as she considered his words. "Write?" she asked, turning to look back at him as he made his way up behind her. "Did you say write?"
"Uh. I did. Yeah."
Truly, she loved reading poetry, but she didn't have much of a knack for writing it. She didn't even think she was good enough for PoetsAmongUs. "What's something you've written?"
Bob laughed, and Anna stumbled on the top step as he said, "Just some amateur gibberish like, 'Devotion woven into every breath I take. Love that knows no boundaries, no end.' Nothing amazing."
She gripped the banister to keep herself upright, and then she spun and sat down hard on the top step. Suddenly she felt like she couldn't breathe. She knew those words intimately. She knew the whole fucking poem by heart. She knew everything else he had written as well, because she'd been reading his poetry for years.
"Bob," she croaked, and he rushed toward her, hands gentle on her ankle and leg.
"Are you okay? Did you twist it?"
"Bob," she gasped, reaching for the front of his undershirt and pulling him closer so he was focused on her face. "You're Sky Writing."
--------------------------
BOB IS SKY WRITING, ANNA. What the hell are you going to do now, babe? Please, make good choices. Thank you @beyondthesefourwalls
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hikarry · 3 months
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I'm a big apologist of Aziraphale/Wilde for jealous Crowley reasons and I do wish there were more fanfics about the topic. Or even not about Wilde, just the men in the gentleman's club. Crowley was supposedly asleep at the time but he is clever, he would figure it out somehow (memorabilia Aziraphale keeps in the bookshop, for example) but I don't think he would really bring it up. He would be jealous in silence.
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On the other hand, I'm also an apologist of Crowley/Da Vinci. It's not everyone that has a bloody sketch of the Mona Lisa with the message "For my friend, Antonio" or something along those lines (I think it was written in Italian? I can't remember anymore). And Crowley has kept it in pristine condition for centuries!
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By now, everyone knows Leo was queer, yes? Fantastic.
Crowley is attracted to art like music and statues, but you know what else? Engineering! Because he used to be a Star-Maker, and what was Leo besides an amazing artist? An engineer! Do you really think Crowley wouldn't be attracted as hell by his inventions? Especially the flying machine?
Now, with the idea that they knew each other and probably spent a lot of time together in the workshop and drinking and what not...well, have you looked at Crowley? He's gorgeous! And artists are attracted to pretty things. My headcanon is that Leo painted Crowley at least once.
Now, a good story would be if the painting was lost in time and eventually found and it made a tour through the best museums and made a stop in London, eventually.
Aziraphale would be excited, Crowley would be curious, and they would go together.
When they arrive in front of the painting Crowley goes very still and Aziraphale gasps.
"But! But that's you!"
"Mhnn eh how would I know? Plenty of red heads back then in Italy, I assure you."
Aziraphale points at the picture.
"I would recognize that face anywhere, Crowley!"
"Aw, angel, would you? What a flatterer."
"That's not the point! This painting...this painting is gorgeous. But aren't you a bit too...au naturel?"
"Agh, eh, I mean. Plenty of semi nude paintings to go around from that era."
"Yes, but in that case the artist and the muse were quite close." Gasp. "Anthony J Crowley, you had a...a thing with Leonardo Da Vinci?! While I was in Spain?!"
"Ngk. I wouldn't call it a thing. More like...a tiny thing."
So yeah, while Crowley is jealous on the inside, Aziraphale (especially if they were already in a relationship) would be very obvious about it and very vocal. Even petty if we want to go down that route.
"Please, angel, you've been avoiding me for 2 days."
"I refused to be kissed with the same lips that kissed Da Vinci."
"Oh yeah? What about your 'friend' Oscar Wilde?!"
Aziraphale gasps and blushes.
"Why the hell would you bring Wilde into this conversation?!"
Crowley steps closer.
"I know exactly what you did with him back in the 1800s. And yet I never complained did I?"
"...since when?"
"The 40s."
"And you never told me you knew?!"
"Because I don't care! I mean, I do, it hurt a little. A lot. But I got over it. That was a century ago, Aziraphale. And I have you now, don't I? I won in the end."
Sorry, I easily get sidetracked. My point is: more Crowley/Da Vinci fanfic or even art are needed.
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babyleostuff · 9 months
Text
my favourite person | joshua hong
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prompt | i'm not a lot of people's favourite person
word count | 1.3k
genre | angst & (mostly) fluff
author's note | ugh i haven't written a longer fic like this in a while, i've missed this
Joshua was that type of person who never wanted to bother you with his own problems. He cherished you and your happiness way too much, so what would be the point in sharing his own worries with you?
He was a big boy, he could take care of himself, no matter how much he wanted to find peace and comfort in your arms.
You knew something was wrong, despite him insisting he was fine. You knew him like the back of your hand and something has been clearly bothering him.
His bright smile was gone and even if he did smile, it didn’t reach his eyes, like it usually did. He didn’t share any funny stories from the practice room, he went to bed without giving you your mandatory good night kiss and you woke up to his side of the bed cold and empty.
“Joshua, you really have to tell me if anything is bothering you,” you said and squeezed his arm. “I’m here for you.”
But the only response you got was a small smile and a “I’m fine darling. Don’t worry about me,” which didn’t make the case any better.
You decided to let it go and wait for him to come around. Especially, because he had a company dinner soon, which you hoped would cheer him up a bit.
Perhaps a talk with Jeonghan or Seungcheol wouldn’t hurt as well.
Leaving with a quiet goodbye and a kiss to your forehead (like he always did before leaving), made you hopeful you were slowly getting your Shua back.
Some of the boys posted a couple of pictures of them together, before the party even began and Joshua was in every single one of them.
He seemed fairly happy, but you knew very well he could have been pretending.
Nonetheless, you decided to put your phone away, there was no point in dwelling on whether he was fine or not.
He wouldn’t be coming back to your apartment tonight anyways, he never did after big parties. He was always afraid that he’d make too much noise and wake you up, so he always went back to his own place after a night of drinking.
Settling down for the night, you unawarely stroked the pillow on your boyfriend’s side, where his head would usually be. He had never told you this, but his heart always skips anytime you run your fingers through his hair, as a warm feeling settles in his tummy.
He was always convinced that love was an emotion that he’d never be able to describe, but the genuine care in your eyes and the happiness in your smile could make him talk about love for hours.
“Fuck.”
You tiredly rubbed your eyes with your (Joshua’s) sweatshirt, trying to pick up where the sounds were coming from, while still being half asleep.
You stumbled out of bed, not so gently running into your dresser, while trying not to freak out over a thief who's probably robbing your apartment right now.
Finally, reaching the kitchen, you exhaled in relief as you saw that it was only your boyfriend, trying to take off his shoes.
But then you realised something. Why was he here? And then you realised something else.
He was definitely not sober.
Seeing your boyfriend drunk was nothing new, but seeing him wasted was something you thought you’d never get to see.
“Honey, are you okay?” you asked, quickly grabbing his hand to get his attention. You couldn't help thinking that something bad had happened, as his eyes were wide and he seemed almost… scared?
Shaking his head, he clumsily grabbed your other hand, putting them on his cheeks.
For a second you thought about calling Jeonghan. You’ve never seen your boyfriend in such a miserable state before and it was scaring you. The light in his eyes was gone and his beautiful face showed nothing but pain.
Nothing about this was good, but the worst was that you still had no idea what had happened.
As you got lost in your own thoughts, you felt something wet hitting your fingertips and that was when you realised Joshua was crying.
“Oh baby,” you whispered, as he collapsed into your arms. His sobs echoed through your quiet apartment, while his shoulder shook with every breath he took.
He held tightly onto you, almost as you were his lifeline - the only thing keeping him alive. Your own heart was breaking with every cry that he let out, the sound shattering any ounce of hope that you had that he’d be all right.
You lowered both of you to the ground, so you could sit in the dark curridor, illuminated only by the moonlight coming through the window.
Taking a shaky inhale, he put his head on your lap, while you gently stroked his head and placed small kisses on his forehead, to let him know that you were there with him.
“I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person.”
The not so comforting silence of your apartment was finally broken by your boyfriend, who seemed to have calmed down, even though he still struggled to take a deep breath.
“What did you say honey?” you said quietly, brushing his hair away from his face.
“I think I’m not a lot of people’s favourite person,” he repeated, slowly pushing himself up to seating.
You looked at his tired expression, wanting nothing more to take all of his burdens away from him.
He was usually very good at avoiding the hate he got online, but from time to time, it could really get to him. It was unavoidable, you both knew that, but sometimes he wanted nothing more but to talk to his fans and have a good time with them.
But because a lot of people want to harm him, his reputation and his feelings, it wasn’t easy to manoeuvre between the good and the bad comments.
It seemed like this time he stumbled upon some really nasty shit.
“Why do you say that? Where did it come from?” you asked rhetorically, voice laced with concern.
He didn’t respond, only put his head on your shoulder, putting all of his weight onto you.
Not wanting to dig deeper, you put your arms tightly around his shoulders, and placed one of your hands on his tear stained cheek.
“You know,” you muttered so as not to startle him. “You might not be a lot of people’s favourite person, but you’re definitely my favourite person,” you kissed the side of his head, as you felt more tears rolling down his cheek.
“I have no idea how you’re feeling right now, nor will I ever get to experience what you’re experiencing, but I want you to know that despite all those horrible people that want to cause nothing more but pain, there are thousands of people who love you and cherish you.”
“Take a look around you. You have me, you have your brothers and you have your true fans that want you to be happy,” you whispered into his hair.
“I think that’s more than enough,” he said quietly, lifting his head to look at you.
His eyes were red, but to you they were the happiest they’ve been in a while. Even the corners of his lips were slightly turned upwards, to which you couldn’t help but smile.
“You cannot make everyone happy, Shua. There are going to be people that’ll want to hurt you, but remember that you’re always surrounded by people that love you,” you said.
He turned away to wipe his wet cheeks, feeling slightly embarrassed about his emotional outburst.
Usually, he’d go to his own apartment and cry himself to sleep, but tonight something made him come back home to you.
“Joshua,” you put your hand on his shoulder. “Next time, please talk to me before it gets that bad. I know that you don’t want to burden me with your worries, but I can't stand seeing you like this.”
“I love you so much, and I want us to go through the good and the bad together.”
He nodded and took your hand in his.
“Together.”
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me-loving-woso · 5 months
Text
Beach days, new teammates and love confessions
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After literally months I am back. This is part 2 of Bruises Apologises and Cookies? It’s 15 k and probably I’ll make also a part 3 cause I am now invested in the story. Let me know if I should go on.
The season ending was a very bittersweet moment for you. From one point of view, you really didn't want to leave your club when they had given you so much.
The fans loved you, your teammates had become family, and the stadium was a second home for you. But you knew that you had to move for your career to flourish and make you reach your full potential.
The last game you played was the final of the Coppa Italia against Juventus. Your captain gave you the armband to lead your team one last time, and you were trying to hold off the emotions welling up. You almost felt like you were betraying the team in a sense. Still, you knew it was only an impression, as everyone was spurring you to go to Barcelona. They only wanted what was best for you. 
You won 1-0 in that game, with your goal making the difference. Your teammates made you lift the cup and shed one or two tears. You gave a small farewell speech, and then, for the last time, you rounded your little stadium, where you'd play all of your matches with the team, and said goodbye to your teammates and the fans.
Your mind went on autopilot after that. You pushed away all of your sad feelings in the locker room and in the car to go back home. At home, there you broke down. It was really over. The team, the club that had given you so much, was not your team anymore. And a new adventure was about to start. 
-
The following day, you fled to Eindhoven with some of your friends from the National Team to see the Champions League final. You had promised Mapi that you would be there and also because you were there to meet the coach of Barcelona to finalize the contract with the club.
As soon as you land in Eindhoven, you text Alexia, telling her you have just landed. Your relationship with her had been highly confusing since she welcomed you into her home after the defeat against your team. Something between the two of you had shifted.
She took care of you and made you feel safe in her arms. It had been a long time since you felt like being with her was just casual, on your part at least. Maybe she was just being polite and not actually caring more than necessary. Yet, you would text or call almost daily to talk about your days or just football. She was the first person you told about your move to Barça and she couldn't have been more supportive. 
As you texted her at the airport, she told you that you wouldn't see each other before the game because she was stuck in media duties. Still, she informed your friend and soon-to-be teammate that you had landed, so at least you would get to see Mapi.
As soon as you left your suitcase in the hotel, you got to the bar where you told her you would meet her.
"Soo, what are you doing in the summer?" You ask her while you are both eating some way too unhealthy burgers.
"Ingrid and I thought about going to Ibiza for a week; why?"
"Would you like to come to Italy for a few days?" You offer her, every year, you booked this tiny house for the whole summer in Praiano, near an abandoned beach. You thought it was a total steal for how much you had paid for it. You usually would go there with friends or family for a few weeks. It was really your favorite place to be.
"I would love to come, but I don't want you to third-wheel us." You chuckle. 
"What makes you say I'm not inviting anyone else?" You smirked suggestively, making her understand what you were insinuating.
"So you finally made it official?" You had asked Alexia to join you for the holidays the last time you saw her when she told you that she had never actually been to Italy if not for a match, you said it was unacceptable, so you offered yourself as a tour guide.
A week or so later, you realize that spending more than a day together would be a bad idea for fear of spilling out your deep, confused, and embarrassing feelings for her. So you decided to invite Mapi along.
"Again. We. Are. Not. Dating." You repeat to her for the millionth time, frankly also trying to convince yourself.
"So you are not going on holiday with her."
"Yes, I am. As friends." You explain, trying to find the right words.
"Only friends?"
"Well, with also some other benefits." Her face turns into a disgusted look. "What?"
"You are talking about my captain, it's weird." Frankly, she will be your skipper too, which meant that you were banging your boss? That was a thought for the future you.
"I really hope you would like to join us if you have nothing better to do." You really hoped she would say yes because you had planned to tell her you were joining Barcelona there.
"I'll talk to Ingrid about it, but you know I can't say no to Italy."
As you return to the hotel, you have a drink with your friends, and then you excuse yourself to go to bed when you hear your phone buzz.
Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)
'You up?'
'Yes, Why are you not asleep? It's late, and tomorrow you have a big game.' You reply.
'Just the nerves are getting to me. Last year with Lyon, we got demolished; I don't want it to happen again. It was difficult to keep the team united after such a loss, and I don't want to disappoint the fans.'
'Can I call you?' She sends another text.
You quickly start a video call, and she immediately picks up.
"Hey, cariño."
"Hey, Ale." You both smile dumbly at each other for a couple of seconds, but then you get interrupted by one of her yawns.
"You need some sleep, piccola, or you will be tired tomorrow. And as for the Lyon thing, you cannot predict the score tomorrow; you just can control how you play and try your best to motivate your team to be the best version of themselves. Lead them to glory, and give it your all. You won't have any regrets if you give everything on the pitch." You try to make her feel better, even though you know she will be stuck in her head all night.
"I'll try my best."
"And the least you could do, after ditching me tonight, is to score a goal for me tomorrow. It's the least." You tease her, making her smile.
"Asking for a goal in a Champions final? You know you are a very hard girl to satisfy, right?" She chuckles, making you feel relieved that you were able to make her feel a little better.
"You would be the expert on that, right?" You smirk suggestively, making her raise an eyebrow.
"Oh, I definitely am." She replies confidently.
"Go to sleep, piccola mia; tomorrow is a big day for you."
"Goodnight, cariño."
"Buonanotte, Ale."
-
The morning after you woke up, you quickly texted Alexia for good luck. 
As soon as you got to the stadium, the tension was palpable, especially when in the first half Barcelona was down 2-0. You were getting extremely nervous and anxious. Your teammates, who were watching the game with you, noticed that. You were biting your nails to the skin. You didn't want them to lose, but if a team could turn around a 2-0, it was going to Barça, or at least you hoped so.
As soon as you saw the players come on the pitch for the second half, they all held an expression you couldn't understand. A mix of determination and hunger, especially Alexia.
The second half started, and not two minutes after, your woman bagged the first goal of the remontada. She ran to her fans, looking at you, making your initial with her hands, making all of your organs flip, fully blushing at the gesture. You really thought that she didn't take seriously what you said the day before. 
As soon as she made that gesture, your now ex-teammates, watching the game with you, noticed what had happened and put the dots together.
"It's her, isn't she?" Linari asks you, wearing a shocked expression.
"What?"
"The girl from Barça that you are seeing. It's Alexia Putellas?" You chuckle, turning around to see the game, making her understand she was right. You weren't denying it anymore.
Not even two minutes later, Alexia scores a header, making the score a draw. She ran up to the side of the field, making your initials again and then celebrating with a little bow.
Barcelona was finally on track, and you could see that the intensity was getting much higher than it was before. Alexia played some of her best football in that second half. The game found an advantage with Rölfo when she scored the match's final goal and game-winner.
You saw her lift the trophy, making your heart grow a thousand times bigger on how much you were proud of her.
Then Mapi came to you, and you hugged her, congratulating her. You mingled in the stadium for a little while and finally left to the parking lot. You wanted to see Alexia but knew she needed to focus on celebrating and her teammates. You could text her later when she had the time to reply.
.
Your Favourite Kickboxer ;)
'Meet me in the hallway at the stadium?'
You quickly excuse yourself from your friends and sneak inside the stadium again. As you were walking down the hallways to find her, you felt two hands sneak up on you, making you turn around.
She quickly picked you up from the air, giving you a bone-crushing hug.
"I'm so proud of you, Ale!" You say, nearly tearing up.
She puts you down, turns her head to look at her surroundings, and then kisses you quickly, catching you completely off guard. "I have to return to Barcelona now, but I couldn't leave without seeing you." She says excitedly, you had never seen her this happy.
"You did it! You scored two goals. You are champions once again! I'm so fucking proud of you, Ale!" 
"Did you see! I did your initials. Two goals for you, cariño! I probably wouldn't have won the trophy if it wasn't for you." She places her hands on your cheeks, smiling.
"I didn't do anything. It's all on you. I just gave you a little reassurance."
"You don't give yourself enough credit. I have to go now! I have a trophy to bring back to Barcelona. I'll see you in two weeks, cariño." She gives you a quick peck on the lips and then leaves for the dressing room.
The next day, your Instagram was swarmed by pictures of her celebration and a video of the team that was clearly hungover Alexia included, which made you chuckle.
-
That day, you were leaving for Praiano with some of your closest friends from the Roma team. You had invited them to spend the last days in Italy with you before you moved to Barcelona.
The club announced your signing in the middle of the transfer season so as not to overshadow your signing for the Champion's League win; you thought it was totally unnecessary, but LaPorta wanted to give you a 'proper welcome.'
The day of your announcement coincided with the day Mapi would arrive in Italy. You really wanted to be the one telling her that you would be joining her team, so you talked to Ingrid, begging her to not make your friend open her phone for that day. They would stay with you for five days before leaving for Norway. In contrast, Alexia would remain with you for the whole week, which was something that you were looking forward to some alone time with her. Still, you were also nervous about being alone with her in fear of blurting out your surely unrequited feelings for her.
As soon as her flight landed, you went to pick her up, 
She was wearing some Barça shorts and a baggy t-shirt, wearing a messy bun, and walking towards you. As soon as she was close enough, you ran up to her and hugged her, which she soon reciprocated, picking you up from the air.
"Hey, cariño."
"Hi, champion." She put you down, buried her head in the crook of your neck, and placed a small kiss there.
Then you took her suitcase, grabbed her hand and led her outside the airport. As soon as you get into the car, she takes your hand again and never returns it for the rest of the trip.
"How was the flight?" 
"It was good, though nobody speaks Spanish here; they just add the S to the end of every word in Italian. It's so annoying." She pouts cutely.
"Welcome to Italy."
"So, is Mapi already here?"
"No, they are coming tomorrow morning; they had an issue with the plane tickets."
"So we are alone tonight?" She grins suggestively while you quickly nod at her before focusing back on the road. "So, what are the plans for tonight?"
"It depends on how tired you are." She had just had a whole week celebrating with her teammates, and you could understand if she wanted a relaxed night in. You turn around to see her expression, a mix between a smirk and a suggestive glare. "Oh my god, woman! I didn't mean it like that! I'm more than just a body." You remark jokingly as if you weren't thinking about the same thing as her. 
"I know. I love your body." She kisses the back of your hand. "Just as much as I love what it's inside here." She lightly taps your temple, making you slightly blush at her compliment. "SO, what are the plans for tonight?"
"If you are up to it, I wanted to take you out to dinner; since you say that Spanish food is better than Italian, I want to prove you wrong. And if you still have some energy, we can go for a walk later; I can show you around the city."
"I'm good for anything you want to."
-
As soon as you get to the house, Alexia's eyes widen.
"Oh wow, this is beautiful." She opens her mouth in wonder. 
"Wait until you see the beach!"
You stop the car and take her suitcase inside the house while she is toeing behind you. You take her outside to see the small private beach.
"How did you find this place?" She marvels, still looking at the clear water in front of her.
"We used to come here when I was little; I've actually started saving up money to buy this place. The owner loves me and has no kids, so he is okay with me buying it."
 She turns to you, taking you by your sides. "Thank you for bringing me here."
"No problem."
"Now, can you show me the room? I would like to change clothes."
You grab her hand and take her inside the tiny house. "I'm sorry it's a little messy." You still had some bottles of wine opened and some glasses on the table from the previous night. "My friends left this morning, and I still didn't have time to clean up."
"If that is messy for you, you don't want to come to my house during the holiday season." She lightly jokes.
You take her to one of the spare rooms, where she places her suitcase on top of the bed, and then she quickly looks at her surroundings, confused.
"Is this your room? Because I don't see your stuff in here."
"No, my room is over there." You point at the end of the hallway. 
"Just take me to your room; we are going to sleep on the same bed anyway." She says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Well, I thought that you might want your own space."
"You have to stop being so accommodating. If I wanted my space, I would've stayed at home. I came here because I wanted to be with you. So stop being so cautious around me and take me to your room." She says, using her commanding voice that she only used on certain occasions, which she knew had an effect on you. 
You take her to your room, which is the best room in the house. It was the biggest and had a great sea view outside the window.
You leave to make her change while you go in the living room.
-
She wore shorts, her bikini, and an open button-down shirt when she returned. You chuckled when you looked at her; she was really feeling the beach mood. 
"Let's go outside!" She says excitedly.
"Wait, I still have to finish cleaning up, and then I have to go upstairs and finish some other stuff. I'll be there in a couple of minutes." You tell her you really wanted everything to be perfect for this week. 
"Nope." 
"What, sorry?"
"You are on holiday, so stop trying to make everything perfect; it's already perfect as it is, and come outside with me." She insists, making you giggle at her stubbornness.
"But-"
"No buts. You deserve to relax just as much as I do." She quickly approaches you, grabs you by the waist, and drags you outside.
"Alexia!" 
She puts you down on your small patio when you get outside. She places your hands on your cheeks. "Now, let me do something I've wanted to do for two weeks. Can I kiss you?" 
"You really don't have to ask anymore." You reply, standing up on your tippy toes to kiss her. It was slow and soft, and you could feel her smile through the kiss. She picks you up, and you can feel her begin moving. You needed to find out where she was going and why. But you were too caught up in her to understand what was happening. Then you hear some splashes and the sound of the waves. You break the kiss and look around: she brought you into the water, and she was wearing a mischievous smirk. 
"Alexia, don't you dare!" You warn her. She was trying to throw you into the water. She responds to you by chuckling and releasing her grip from your body, making you wrap your legs even tighter to not fall down to the water. "Alexia, come on, I still have clothes on." You tried to convince her, but she looked like she didn't care. So she began tickling you on your sides, which she knew was your ticklish spot. You tried to squirm from her touch, but you lost balance and fell in the water while the woman beside you, still standing, started laughing. 
“Tua madre in carriola!” You exclaim, slightly irritated that you had all your clothes drenched in water, but you couldn't fully care when there she was. You have never seen her as carefree and happy as now. You felt blessed that she was here, right now, with you, being like this, trying to make you finally relax and enjoy some vacation when it was nearly impossible, as you'd always stress about something. 
"You know that I didn't understand anything you said, right? Only something about my mom." She chuckles. You quickly go underwater and grab her legs, making her fall into the water.
"Tu puta madre!"
"See! At least I didn't call your mom a bitch." You tease her while she fixes her wet hair. "And this is payback!" You finish, crossing your arms and wearing a proud smirk. You see her expression change from irritation to determination while swimming towards you. She picked you up and threw you with her in the water, and that is how you spent your afternoon. Stolen kisses, laughs, and a whole lot of competitiveness. Honestly, you couldn't ask for more. 
After the both of you had calmed down after laughing and playfully fighting in the water, you swam to her. You made her wrap her legs around your waist while she was stabling herself, putting your hands on your shoulders.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, you always pick me up from the ground; we can switch roles occasionally." You tell her, lightly rubbing her thighs; you really missed having her close to you.
She replies by giving you a soft kiss, then begins to look at you, smiling.
"What?" You ask her, feeling yourself combust at the intense eye contact.
"I just really missed your face, cariño." She says, peppering feathery kisses all over your face. 
How dare she say stuff like that when you try your best to keep inside your confusing and strong feelings for her. 
"I missed you too, piccola." You blurt out, kissing her jaw, holding her a little tighter. You really didn't want to let her go. You had created this little bubble in which the both of you were enjoying each other's presence, not caring about what you were to each other, but just having fun with no constraints and being in each other's company. 
"I think we should get inside." And the bubble popped.
You get inside the house with your clothes soaked and take turns to shower. It had been more than six months since the last time you were able to touch her, and you felt your body yearn for her. Yes, you had kissed, but nothing more than that.
You took her out to dinner in a small place near the city.
You really needed help to differentiate this dinner from a date. It had everything that a date would entail. Good food, subtle and not-so-subtle flirting, and great banter. The subtle touches under the table or the shared knowing glance made your heart skip a beat. This dinner felt like a date, but you knew it wasn't. And that made you feel a sort of uncomfortableness that wasn't easy to set aside to fully enjoy your night with her.
As soon as you finished eating, you took her for a walk around the city, and you would tell her anecdotes of what you did in those places you were walking by when you were a child. 
You arrive at a park, and you both sit down on the swings. 
"You know, this is actually where I had my first kiss." She turns to look at you, wearing a curious grin.
"Here? In this park?" 
"Yeah. It was here. Actually, on this swing."
"Now you have to explain." She asks you curiously.
"Well, I was thirteen. We were a group of five kids, and we would come here every afternoon to have fun and play with the ball. I remember this boy always looking at me, and one day, we were alone at the park. I was on the swing; he made me close my eyes, gave me a flower, and kissed me."
"Oh my god, it's so cute!"
"No, it wasn't. It was very weird. But I think it was just me who didn't want to be handed a rose by a boy, much rather a girl. But that would be a problem for a future 14-year-old me. In hindsight, I think that it should have been the first clue of me liking girls." You chuckle, reminiscing about that young boy who made you realize that kissing boys was disgusting.
"Turn around." You see her standing up with a determined grin.
"What?"
"Just indulge me. Turn around." You turn around, your body closing your eyes expectantly.
"Okay, you can look now." You turn to face her and see a daisy in her hand.
"Well, this might not be a rose. But it is a flower." She hands you the flower shyly, making you chuckle lightly at her cuteness. 
"And you are a girl and not a boy." You state.
"So, can I kiss you? I'll ask because I don't think that poor boy asked you."
"Nah, he didn't. But as I told you before, you no longer have to ask."
"Kissing you shouldn't be something you can take for granted." She replies, leaning into you and weighing the swing's chains.
After more than thirteen years, you recreate your first kiss. And this time, it feels right. It was as if you were meant to recreate it with someone who mattered, who would make you feel excited and nervous about how the little boy felt when he was kissing you. And you felt the same way with her, and every time you kissed her, 
As soon as she breaks off the quick kiss, you remark, "I think you are a better kisser than that poor boy."
"I mean, I'd hope. I'm 29. He was your age."
"Don't get too cocky now. You were slightly better." You tease her. Making her lean into you and give you a searing kiss so that you'd know for sure that if you weren't sat on that swing, probably your knees would give out. It had an intensity that seemed out of place for being in a children's park. But neither of you seemed to care. It was dawn, the playground was abandoned, and you missed kissing her.
And most certainly she was just getting competitive because you told her she was slightly better at kissing than a thirteen-year-old. She wanted to wipe away any doubt about her kissing skills.
She breaks the kiss by lightly biting your lower lip, making you feel all hazy.
"Just slightly better?" She smirks proudly.
You didn't hear a word she said, as you were too busy falling down from the high she had just given you to actually understand words spoken to you in a different language by one of the hottest women you have ever seen. "What did you say?"
"I'll take that as a no." She lightly chuckles, taking your hand and walking to the park exit.
"Let's go home." She whispers, placing a small kiss on your temple.
The walk back to your holiday home was on autopilot. She took the lead on the conversation, asking you questions about the week's plans with your other two friends. As soon as you get home, you go to your small kitchen to get a glass of water while she toes behind you. As soon as you finish drinking, she comes closer to you, putting her hands on your waist and making you retreat until you hit the kitchen counter.
"Thank you for tonight. I really had fun." She smiles earnestly.
"I'm glad that you like it here."
"Oh, I love it here. Even though I think that the people in this place have an average age of 72." She jokes
"Nah, 75. In fact, there is only one kid in the whole town. And the father is actually the boy of the kiss in the park."
"Well, at least he moved on."
"Yeah, it was very tough for him, but eventually, after a very long time, he found love again. But again, how could you ever move on from someone like me." You joke. 
"I don't know. Well, nearly after a year, I'm still here, so something right you must be doing." She teases you.
"Or maybe you just can't find better." You raise an eyebrow suggestively.
"I don't think there is better to find, honestly." Her gaze softens as she says those words, making you blush, hiding your face by placing your forehead on her chest, hiding from her. She pulls her hands away from your waist and puts them on your cheeks to try to move your head from her to see your face. "What?" She asks. 
"You have to stop saying things like that."
"Why? I mean it." She reassures you.
"I- You know why." You try to make her understand, not fully saying out loud feelings; try to make her understand them instead without fully exposing yourself.
"I'd rather you say it."
You take a deep breath. "Alexia, do you want to go on-" Your phone rings and you look from your watch to who is calling you "I have to take this."
You squirm away from her touch and leave to go outside. 
"Pronto, Emma. Tutto bene?" It was your best friend whom you hadn't seen in a year and a half. She never called without asking you beforehand, so you thought it was pretty important.
"Si, tutto bene. Ti devo dire una cosa.” She replies excitedly, making you release a sigh of relief that nothing bad had happened.
Ten minutes later, you come back to Alexia wearing one of your biggest smiles.
"Is everything okay?" She asks, still waiting for you in the same spot as you left her.
"More than okay!" You reply excitedly, walking quickly to her. "My best friend is getting married, and I'll be the maid of honor." You place your hands on her shoulders, then slowly move them to her neck, lightly playing with her hair. "Now, where were we?" You knew exactly how you left her; you were about to blurt out your feelings for her, but you decided to ignore the problem and not dwell on it too much. Instead, you kissed her. The kissing led to something else, and for the first time in more than six months, time froze, and you were back again in her arms.
-
The next morning, you wake up to the alarm with hair on your face and an arm holding you down. You had a headache and clearly were sleep-deprived. You open your phone and look at the time. It's 10 AM. 
"Fuck!" You sit up, making the woman on your side slowly wake up. "Alexia, wake up. We are late; we should've been in the car by now."
You say, rushing out of your bed to quickly change. You had promised Mapi that you would drive her to your house from the airport because you thought it would be a waste of money to book a taxi when you had a perfectly functioning car that could drive you anywhere.
In five minutes, you were able to dress, brush your teeth, and get in the car. Thankfully, you remembered to shower the night before, so you didn't have to do it in the morning; you felt bad for Alexia, as you could see that she wasn't used to this level of rushedness, that you were more than used to as you always tended to sleep in, and eventually have to rush to get in time to train or to games.
You closed the door to the house while Alexia was still halfway done putting her shirt on. As soon as the both of you got into the car and slammed the door, you looked at each other and started laughing.
"Okay, those were the quickest five minutes of my life." She says while catching her breath.
"We totally overslept, and we are totally going to be late." You chuckle, starting the engine of your car.
"We can always say that we found traffic." She offers.
You definitely and not-so-subtly speed to the airport and then quickly call your friend to tell her that you are finally at the airport.
"I'm really sorry. We found traffic on the way here." You tell Mapi while you go to hug her and Ingrid. As your friend goes to hug Alexia, you turn to Ingrid and whisper, "Did she already open her Instagram?" You were trying to hold off her discovering that you were a Barça player; you really wanted to tell her, and that day would be the day that Barcelona would announce your signing.
"No, she didn't, but I can't hold off her phone for long." She replies, breaking off the hug and going to Mapi's side and beginning to catch up on her life and yours. 
"Oh my God, I forgot to tell you! Emma is getting married!"
"No way! She's finally settled down?!" Everyone who knew the both of you always thought that you would be the first one to marry, as Emma has always been the hot mess between the two of you, afraid of commitment. "Is she marrying the same guy from college?" She asks you.
"Yep." You turn around to look at Alexia and Ingrid, and then you explain. "When I was in college when I met Kate, my ex, Emma met this guy who studied economics and finance at our same university. They got together way before Kate and I. He's so dumb. I love him so much. They are perfect for each other."
You turn again to face your tattooed friend, "Wait, is that a hickey?" Her face is adorned with a knowing smirk while pointing at your neck, making you subconsciously hide it with your hand.
"No, it's not! It's a bruise." You try to explain, mentally trying to remember to scold Alexia as soon as you got her alone.
"It's so not!" She chuckles, surprised, making you turn around to glance angrily at Alexia, who replies with an innocent smile. "Is that the reason why you were late?"
"No! We found traffic on the way here, as I told you before."
"Yes!" Alexia casually backs you up, making your other two friends understand it was a lie.
As soon as you get into the car, Mapi is about to take out her phone to put music on when you stop her, saying that only the passenger in the front, Alexia, could put the music on, which was a lie, but you really didn't want her to see her phone. 
-
As soon as you got home, the couple went to their room to unpack the suitcase while you and Alexia put on your bathing suit and went outside to the beach to sunbathe. You were reading some book, trying to focus on the words of the book rather than the woman who was lying half-naked on your right. Which was getting increasingly more difficult whenever she would move or place soft caresses on your back, trying to get your attention.
"Hey." You turn to look at her.
"Hey, cariño. I'm sorry for the hickey. I got a little carried away yesterday night." She apologizes shyly, making you forgive her in the blink of an eye.
"Don't worry about it." You come closer to her, placing a hand on her chest, and give her a small kiss. You brush your noses together and tell each other sweet nothings, creating a small bubble that neither of you wants to pop. "I know that I'm a person who doesn't express much of her feelings vocally, but I just wanted to say that I'm really glad that you are here with me."
"Honestly, there is no place I'd rather be, cariño. By your side is where I am the happiest."
You move your lips closer to her, about to kiss her, when you hear the door of the house open and see your friends coming outside. You make your forehead fall on her shoulder while you feel her sigh displeased. You slowly move away from her and sit up.
"I'm still not used to seeing this." Your friend says while pointing at the both of you, making her girlfriend roll her eyes at her.
You spend the morning in your small private beach playing card games and catching up with each other. 
-
In the afternoon, it was when the club would announce your signing, so you decided to tell her at that moment. You had brought your Barcelona shirt to be able to announce it away from Barcelona. You told the club that you wouldn't be able to fly to Barcelona for your signing because you had already booked your holidays, so you did all the photoshoots and signing beforehand.
The first hours of the afternoon had always been the hottest, so you all decided to come inside and plan together your four days ahead. 
You go to your room and retrieve the Barça shirt. Then you leave to go to your living room. "Oh, and by the way, I decided on my future club." You say casually, sitting down on the couch next to Alexia, facing Mapi.
"You are renewing with Roma, right?" She asks curiously. "I heard some rumors saying that they offered you a big contract."
"Yeah, they did offer me a huge contract. But I decided to leave; check your phone." You look at the time on your watch. "I think they just made the announcement." You tell her excitedly. 
She quickly checks her phone, then turns to look at you smiling. "You'll be a Barça player?" You slowly nod, taking out the shirt with your name on it and showing it to her.
"I wanted to be the one who told you; that's why Ingrid never let you use your phone today." You say while standing up to hug her.
"I'm so happy! We can finally win the Champions League together! Like we always dreamed about!" She says excitedly, looking at the shirt. "Have you already decided on the number? I know that yours has always been the 16."
"I don't care, honestly. I'm just glad to be a Barcelona player. Plus, Rölfo already has the 16. I don't want her to change numbers for me."
"It's already settled, cariñ- Y/n." Alexia interjects, making you turn to look at her. "I know how much the number means to you, and Frido already wanted to change the number to 18, so I asked her if she wanted to make the swap. If you want it, you'll have the 16."
"Ale, there was no need to do that!" You felt your heart explode with affection at the thought that she would do this for you without even asking her or talking about it.
"I know. But I wanted to." You lock eyes, and for a moment, it is as if you are the only one in the room. "Now, do you want me to take a picture of you for the announcement?"
You posted on your Instagram a picture of you and your friend holding your Barça announcement shirt, with the caption: 'Reunited with this one.'
The rest of the week passed in a blur, from boat trips to visiting nearby cities and loads of food; you finally felt at peace and ready for your new adventure in Barcelona.
-
You would stay one last week in Italy with your family to finish packing up, and then you would leave for Barcelona. You found a beautiful apartment near the training grounds, and it had everything you dreamed of. Huge kitchen, a small garden, and a great view of the city.
Everything felt perfect. Alexia was going to pick you up from the airport, you thought it was unnecessary and a waste if her time, but then you gave in, wanting to see more of the woman who had been on your mind ever since that week in Italy, maybe even from before.
As soon as you landed, you got the terrible news from your landlord that a pipe from your apartment had just exploded, which meant that for more than a week, you would be homeless.
As you walk sadly to the exit of the airport, you find Alexia smiling at you as soon as she sees you, but then, as soon as she sees your expression, her smile fades into an expression of worry. You go to hug her, circling your arms on her waist. "Are you okay, cariño?" She asks worriedly.
You bury your head in her shirt, feeling the warmth and comfort she is exuding and taking it all in.
"A pipe from my new apartment just exploded. I am homeless for a week, and I need to find a hotel not too far from the training grounds."
"We'll find a solution together. Now let's go to the car and go home." She takes one of your suitcases, puts her arm on your shoulder, and pulls you close to her, dragging you to her Cupra.
As you enter the car, you melt into the car seat, taking Alexia's hand and giving it a couple of kisses. She turned on the engine of the car and proceeded to leave the infinite parking area of the Barcelona airport. 
"If it's not a problem, you can always stay with me." She offered when you asked her if she knew any hotels near the training grounds. "Because I really don't think you'd want a week of Mapi and Ingrid together." She jokes, clearly making a point, because as much as you love both girls, they are disgustingly in love, and being around them made you feel miserable with your current situation with Alexia.
"Ale, I don't want to intrude. You need your space, and until I'm settled in, I'll take up a lot of it. And I don't want you to feel like you have to because you stayed in my home during the holidays," You say.
"I'm not offering because I feel some sort of obligation. I'm offering because I care about you, and I'd hate for you to be stuck in a hotel when you can simply stay at my place."
"Are you sure?" 
She chuckles at your stubbornness, "Yes, I'm sure, cariño. But I do have one condition that I cannot overrule." She becomes immediately serious, making you unconsciously sit up. "You have to bake me those darn cookies." Her condition makes you chuckle. "I want to bring them to my mamá."
"I'll bake you all the cookies you want, piccola mia." 
.
You get to her home, and as soon as she opens the door, you are met with a ball of fur asking for your attention, which you gladly give to her.
That evening, you baked your cookies together, fully knowing that the next day would be your first day of training, so it acted more as a stress relief rather than something you were doing for someone else. Which wasn't a problem for you, as it had always been your love language, acts of service, and cooking for other people. But strangely enough, you weren't feeling at all that anxious, and most certainly, even if you wouldn't admit it to yourself, it was Alexia's merit.
Her presence seemed to ground you and anchor you to the real world, not making you overthink or go in a spiral of intrusive and not good thoughts.
You loved how, even though she didn't know how to bake, she would try her best to do whatever you wanted her to do, making you grin at her concentrated looks whenever she didn't understand something. 
-
As you went to bed that night, you were cuddling up in Alexia's bed.
"So, are you excited about tomorrow?" She asks you.
"I am a little nervous, but yes, I'm very excited. I'm finally playing for my dream club, and honestly, I couldn't be asking for more. But I do have a question, though: Do you know how many people know about us on the team?"
"Mapi has been a good friend, but for now, only she and Ingrid know. But if you are asking me if I'll treat you differently than what I've been doing now, the answer is no. Of course, I'll not be kissing you because we are at work, but I'll never avoid you."
"You'll have plenty of time to kiss me on other occasions then." You give her a small peck on the lips and go back to your previous position, falling asleep in her arms, looking forward to the next day.
-
The next day, you have breakfast together and then leave for the training grounds. As soon as you get there, Alexia goes in for training, whereas you go and meet all the training staff and Jonatan Giraldez. You were nervous, as you always hated to meet new coaches.
"Hey, Mister."
"Hey, Y/n. I'm so glad to finally have you on my team. It has been two years now that you have been my number 6 choice. I hope we can work well together." He says, shaking your hand, making you blush lightly at the compliment. 
"I will do my best to be the best player I can be." You say.
"I'm sure you will. Now, before going to train and meet your future teammates, even though I know you already know some of them, you unfortunately have some media to attend to."
He accompanies you to a room full of interviewers from Barça TV and some other places, and the interviews begin.
"Hello, Y/n Y/ln. May I ask you some questions?" He asks politely, and you slightly nod.
"Welcome to Barcelona; what made you decide to leave your former club to join Barcelona?"
"Barça has always been my dream club, ever since I was a child. I remember that my uncle wanted me to become an Inter fan, whereas my other one wanted me to become a Milan fan, but as soon as I saw Barcelona play, I was completely taken by their style of play, and it was this club and Messi, that made me fall in love with the sport, so I will always be forever grateful to this club, for giving me this opportunity."
"Y/n, you have the impossible task of replacing one of the best CDMs in the world, Keira Walsh, who had just returned to her childhood club, Man City, with Lucy Bronze; how do you think you will fit that role?"
"Woah, huge question." You lightly joke, earning chuckles from the interviewer. "I think Walsh is one of the best CDMs in the world right now, if not the best. It's not going to be an easy task to 'replace' a player like her, if we can say that. But I'll give it my all to this team, and even if I won't be the best 6 in the world, I'll definitely be the best version of myself to play for this historic team. It's my dream."
"Who are you most excited to play with?"
"Of course, Mapi. We played together during our Atletico days, and I always thought that we worked very well together. But honestly, all of them, I'm really excited to play in midfield with Aitana Bonmati and Alexia Putellas and one of the most underrated players of all time, Patri Guijarro."
"How do you feel about playing with Alexia Putellas, given the circumstances of your previous encounters?" You furrow your eyebrows at the question.
"You mean, given that the last time we played against each other, she nearly broke my nose?" You say lightheartedly, making the people understand that you weren't holding any grudge against her.
The English interviewer quickly nods. "As I said in previous interviews, I think Alexia is a great player and a great person, both on and off the pitch. She will be my new skipper, and I couldn't ask for anyone better. In our previous encounters, I think we were just unfortunate, and when you play with a person who is physically bigger and stronger than you, injuries may happen. But I don't hold any type of grudge against her; in fact, we actually joked about the fact that if she weren't a football player, she could definitely be a kickboxer."
"And that is all for today; thank you, Y/n."
"Thank you all for being here and Visca el Barça."
-
You quickly exit the room and speed walk to the changing rooms to get ready for your first training with the team. As soon as you put on the shirt, you immediately touch the badge of your new team and automatically smile. You had finally made it, and you couldn't be happier.
You put on your cleats and go outside to talk to your coach. All the other girls were making rondos or juggling with the ball, making you feel a little bit like a fish out of the sea. For a slight moment, you were slightly regretting coming to Barcelona but you knew that it was just your mind playing tricks on you and that you deserved to be there just as much as the girls who were already training.
"So, coach, do you want me to run a few laps or do some drills with the ball?" You tell him, feeling ready to do anything, even running, jumping up and down from your standing position.
"Oh no." He chuckles. "I don't know if you do this in Italy, but here at Barcelona, for every new player, we do the guard of honor." 
"Oh no, we don't have to." You say shyly, not wanting to be at the center of attention.
"Oh yeah, it's tradition." He spurs you on, making you go with him on the pitch to your new teammates.
"Girls!" He screams, making all of them turn around. "As you already know, Y/n will be our new 16, so take care of her and make her feel at home!" He says, making you awkwardly wave at your teammates, embarrassed. Mapi walks excitedly to you and gives you a hug. 
"Is your coach always like this?" You ask her, still embarrassed.
"Yep, get used to it."
"I will never get used to wearing these colors," you say, putting your hand on your badge.
"You deserve it more than anyone." She leads you to your teammates, and one by one, you get introduced to them, even though you already knew most of them, never leaving your side, for which you were eternally grateful to her. You leave Alexia for last, and she gives you a quick hug and a reassuring look, which is what you need to finally ground yourself.
They all line up to give you the guard of honor, which you try to make them not do, but Mapi basically pushes you to run, feeling all the smacks on your back as you are running. The training was great after that. You managed to talk and get to know everyone, and everyone was so nice to you.
The intensity, though, was something that you had never experienced before. The Barça rhythms were definitely higher than the ones from Roma, but you weren't the one who would give up that easily, overworking your body, trying to prove yourself to the coach.
You were on a water break, trying to catch your breath, putting your hands on your knees, straightening your back. You feel a hand at the back of your neck lightly squeezing, asking for your attention. You immediately recognize her touch, even though you didn't see her. You turn around to look at her, and you are met with a worried look.
“Are you okay, cariñ- Y/n?“
"So good." You say breathlessly. "I just have to get used to this much running, that's all."
"Do you want me to talk to the coach?" 
"I don't need any special treatment, Alexia." You squirm away from her and jump on Mapi's back, interrupting her from some conversation she was having with Pina and Patri. You felt bad about leaving Alexia like that, so coldly, but then again, you always hated when people were concerned about your physical health or were just trying to help; it made you vulnerable, and you hated that. You immediately regretted how you talked to Alexia and decided that after practice, you would apologize to her.
When practice ended, you were exhausted but still very happy. Alexia was practicing free kicks as everyone left to change.
"Piccola mia, I'm really sorry about how I replied to you today." You say regretfully, placing your hand on her back, making her turn to you.
"I wasn't trying to give you any special treatment, Y/n." What happened to cariño? "I am your captain; if you feel bad or worn out, it's my responsibility to help you." She replies sadly, playing with the ball on her feet.
"I know. And I'm sorry. I just hate when people are worried about me. It makes me feel vulnerable. And I know you were just worried, so I'm really sorry."
"I know you are. Come here and give me a proper hug." She opens her arms for you, which you gladly take, and circle your arms around her waist, putting your head on her chest. Those types of hugs with her were your favorite hugs.
"Now, are you ready for the initiation?" 
You break off the hug and look at her, puzzled. "What initiation? Mapi never told me anything."
"Well, it's more like a team bonding get-together with karaoke."
"So I have to sing? Will you sing too?"
"I am not singing, but you are a newbie, so you have to." She explains as if she were stating the obvious.
"The hell I am not."
"The hell you are." She chuckles.
"I do love music, but I do not sing. When I am sober, at least."
"You kinda have to; it's a tradition. Everyone has done it. It's about shedding any fear of embarrassment."
"But Ale-"
"Nope, it's settled." You sigh at her words and then leave to go to the dressing room.
“Goodbye capitana.”
“Goodbye cariño.”
-
In the meantime, Mapi and Patri were watching your interaction with Ale from afar.
"I've never seen Alexia this… soft? It feels weird." Patri states to her friend.
"Who? Alexia and Y/n?" Mapi asks dumbly, trying not to give out any details. 
"I never specified Y/n." She raises an eyebrow. "Wait. Do you know something?" The midfielder's face turns into a wide smirk.
"I don't have anything to say to you that I should say." 
"So you have something for me that you shouldn't say?" She asks, flipping the situation.
"Stop using wordy sentences to make me confused."
"You didn't reply to my question. Are they dating? Wait, is she the girl we all thought a couple of months ago fucked her?"
"I don't know anything! If you are really that curious, go and ask her!" Your friend replies defensively, really trying not to spill any secrets.
At that moment, you walked through the door and saw your friend, "You didn't tell me I had to sing?! Oh hey, Patri." You turn around to your new teammates happily waving at her, and then you go back to point your finger angrily at your friend.
"Oh, come on! How bad it could be! You were in a band, after all." She says
"You were in a band?" Patri asks curiously.
"I had a really dark past.." You explain quickly and dramatically. "Plus, you know well I didn't sing!"
"Oh, come on. Don't be too dramatic. I'll get you a couple of drinks, then you'll sing something, and that's that."
.
That evening, you were exhausted from your training, so you decided to have a power nap in Alexia's house, which she gladly joined you in. After a couple of hours, you were ready to go and left for the pub, where you would meet the girls from the team.
As soon as you get there, you leave Alexia to go to Mapi and mingle with some of the Spanish girls in that group, Ona, Aitana, Pina, and Patri. While Alexia went to talk to the older girls and her friends from the national team. Some hours in the night passed, and you were really glad that you were getting along with everybody from the team.
At first, you were very shy with them, but thankfully, Mapi, and in some instances Alexia, helped you a little to open up and make your teammates able to get to know you. Some girls were drinking, but you decided not to, and many of them started off the karaoke, making you sometimes laugh at their stupidity, whereas in others, you would clap at them. 
You knew that your turn was coming when you saw Mapi run to another room and come out with a guitar in her hand, making you roll her eyes at her, completely understanding her intentions. You used to play the guitar when you were younger, and you actually were quite good at it. But you hadn't played in so long, and as the hype woman your best friend was and the fact that she loved embarrassing you, fully knowing you hated being the center of attention, she brought a guitar just for everybody to see and ask you about it.
She handed it to you, making you chuckle at her sarcastically, but she was wearing this proud smirk, which showed that she wasn't doing this just to make you uncomfortable and tease but also to show you off, which you thought was very unnecessary.
You open the guitar case, and you see a beautiful acoustic guitar.
"Where did you get this? Did you steal it?" You joke, admiring the guitar.
"The guy behind the bar recognized us and gave me the guitar."
"Do you play the guitar, Y/n?" Ona asks you curiously, making you turn your head around the table.
"Well, I used to play it; I haven't played in a very long time." You say while you pick it up and run the strings through your hands. You stopped playing the guitar when you left for Chelsea. Usually, music was your happy place, but when you moved out from Spain and broke up with Kate, your love for the instrument dissipated, and you wouldn't bring yourself to do something that you enjoyed so much.
"You should play something for us," Patri adds excitedly. 
"Oh no." You reply shyly, putting away the guitar. "I haven't played in so long, plus I don't think I remember much, and I really don't want to embarrass myself." You chuckle nervously, hoping that they will let it go. In the meantime, the guitar thing caught some attention, so now, not only was your table waiting for you to play something, but everyone in your group and some other clients in the pub were waiting for you to play something.
"Oh nonsense, you know that you have to perform; if you don't play the guitar, you'll have to sing. So you decide…" Mapi spurs you on. You take a deep breath and move your chair to the little stage where the people would normally sing karaoke. You quickly tune the guitar, and then you finally feel all the eyes on you.
"Okay, if I get some notes wrong, please don't laugh at me." You look at Alexia one last time, who is somehow sitting with Mapi now, and she gives you a reassuring smile.
So you begin playing one of your favorite songs on the guitar; every time you play it, it reminds you of when life was fun and simple. Whenever you played it, you would get lost in the music and daydream of what those sounds elicit. (If you want to hear it, it's 'Mutter' from Rob Scallon, the live version)
As soon as you start playing, your tattooed friends turn to Alexia.
"Good luck, my friend." She pats her back ironically.
"What, why?" Alexia whispers, still trying to give you her full undivided attention.
"If she still plays like she played years ago, she has this way of conveying many emotions. Either they are sad or happy; whenever she plays something, she amplifies it by a thousand. The song that she is about to play is going to hit you like a ton of bricks, believe me."
The song begins slowly, but then it gets faster and fuller. It made you regret to decide this piece after not playing in so long, but you loved it, and honestly, you really wanted to show off a little to your teammates and, most definitely, to Alexia. Thankfully, this worry of making mistakes was quickly forgotten when you began getting lost in the music. You really missed being able to play and express yourself in this way.
As soon as you finish the song with the last chord, you don't dare to look at your teammates; only when you hear the claps do you lightly blush and turn your gaze around the room, searching for those beautiful eyes that have the capacity to render you hopeless, but you couldn't see her, nor your friend for that matter.
-
Your performance was nearly finished, and Alexia never took her eyes off you; she thought that what Mapi said was right; your performance hit her like a ton of bricks, but more than anything, it brought out a huge realization that Alexia could quite withstand, so she left, to go to the bathroom, trying to get some space. Mapi quickly followed her friend, and as soon as they were inside the small room, the defender turned to pacing Alexia.
"Woahh, hey, calm down. What happened?" She asks the midfielder, placing her hands on her shoulders, trying to stop her from walking around the room.
She takes a deep breath, "Mapi, I have a problem. A huge one."
"Okay, tell me what it is; I know that we can find a solution to it." Her shorter friend reassures her, clearly shocked to see her captain in this state.
"I don't think we can. I just realized that I am in love with her." She says, putting her hands on her face.
"Who?" 
"Who? Mapi really? Lady Gaga. No Y/n, you idiot."
"Sorry, I just wanted to check. But why is it such a problem?"
"Because we decided not to have anything serious, and I really don't want to get rejected when I was the one that continuously pointed out that we weren't dating whenever someone asked."
"I think she feels the same. No. I know that she feels the same. Gosh, I spent five days with you two alone in a house; I can understand when two of my best friends are in love with each other. Eyes don't lie. And don't you dare tell that you haven't been already acting like a couple for at least 6 months now!"
"Do you really think that?"
"I know that. Just tell her how you feel. You won't lo-"
You open the door to the bathroom, searching for Alexia. She had been missing for a couple of minutes now, so you were a little worried that she might have been sick.
"Oh, here you are! I thought you left or you were sick!" You say happily when you finally find Alexia and Mapi, but then you notice something wrong with her, as if she was shaken up. "Wait, are you okay?" You asked, worried, coming closer to her.
"I'm okay, cariño." She reassures you, and then her expression changes into something happier and more proud. "I didn't know you were so good at playing the guitar!" 
"I was better a long time ago. I haven't played in years, but this woman here." You point at Mapi quickly, "Can't mind her own business."
"Thankfully, she didn't; I know for sure you wouldn't have told me that you are good at playing an instrument."
"I would have told you!" You cross your arms, pouting.
"No, you wouldn't." She shakes her head, smiling, while Mapi nods, backing her up. "You'd hate for anybody to know that you are good at something, just in fear of being at the center of the attention." She explains, making you blink twice. It felt as if you were an open book for her to read and understand you perfectly.
"Get out of my head." You remark shyly, earning from her a chuckle. "So you liked the song?" You ask shyly and insecurely.
She gently places her hands on your cheeks, gently caressing them to give you some reassurance. "I loved it; you are a wonderful guitar player, cariño."
"Thank you." You lightly blush. For a moment, you forget that Mapi is in the same room as the two of you because you place your finger on your lips to silently ask her to kiss you. Which she gladly does, feeling her smile against your lips
"I'm still here, you know!" Mapi interrupts you from your little moment, irritated. "Bleah, I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing this." You raise your middle finger at her, still kissing Alexia, fully starting to make out with her. You hear the door shut, making you temporarily pull away from her to look behind you, then resuming back to kissing her.
Five minutes later, you both decide to go back to your teammates, but as the night progresses, you feel yourself getting more and more tired, making all of your clinginess appear. You would orbit around Alexia more, trying to find some physical comfort in her presence, even though you really didn't want to show off your 'relationship' with her.
She noticed this almost immediately, so when you were passing by her, in a swift movement, she wraps her arms around your waist and dragged you to her lap; you stumble a little, trying to balance yourself, placing your arm on her shoulder, 
"Are you tired?" She whispers in your ear as if you were the only two people in the room.
"Yes, I am a little. How did you know?"
"I have already seen you tired many times, cariño. You are very touchy when you are tired." You subconsciously move away from her, but she keeps you in place firmly. "Don't move away; I love this side of you."
At first, your new teammates gave the both of you a surprised look, but nobody would dare to say anything besides Mapi, obviously, who sent you from across the room a knowing look, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. 
By the end of the night, you had played some more guitar as some of your teammates wanted to sing some more songs. But after a couple more hours, you were exhausted, and when Alexia noticed it, she decided to bring you home to sleep.
-
That morning, when you woke up, everything in your body ached somehow. You really had to get used to Barcelona's rhythms. The bed was empty, so you figured that Alexia was making breakfast, so you painfully make it to Alexia's kitchen wearing one of her big shirts and some shorts you found along the way to the kitchen, which were scattered the night before trying to get to the bedroom. She was making coffee the way you liked it, with the moka instead of using her Nespresso machine 'that she loves so much,' which made you smile at her attentiveness. As soon as you walk into her kitchen, she turns around and walks towards you, giving you a small kiss on the lips.
“Good morning, cariño. Did you sleep well?" She turns to her kitchen again, rummaging through the cabinet on top of her stove.
"I slept really well. What are you doing?" You ask her curiously, leaning on the kitchen countertop and peaking.
"So I found out that my mom had a moka in her kitchen all this time, and I didn't even notice it! So I asked her if I could borrow it since I know you prefer this coffee to the machine." She says while putting the coffee maker on the stove.
"Ale, you shouldn't have done that! I would've gladly drank whichever one you had; you didn't have to go through such trouble for me." You lightly slap her shoulder.
"I didn't go through any trouble. I just wanted to make you feel at home."
Before saying something that you most probably regret, aka replying with But you are my home. You dragged her to your height, kissed her to show all of your gratitude, and whispered a small thank you. When the coffee was ready, you both sat down on her small table and had breakfast.
You were talking about some media stuff you were going to do in the afternoon when you heard a knock on the door. Alexia looks at you confused, not expecting anybody, and she leaves with Nana in tow; as she opens the door, you hear Alexia talking to a woman who has a very similar voice to hers, and then you hear her scream, "No, Alba, no!" 
You see the woman enter the kitchen with Alexia chasing after her as if she didn't want her to meet you.
"Hello, my name is Alba. I'm Alexia's sister." You suddenly widen your eyes, shocked. She offers you her hand to shake, and you stand up.
"Hi, I'm Y/N." You shake her hand and offer her a shy smile, subconsciously searching for Alexia to help you out with this unexpected visit.
"I know who you are; my sister nearly broke your nose. By the way, I want to apologize on her behalf; she never had proper manners." 
"Alba!" Alexia screams, exasperated, while you release a light chuckle.
"Don't worry, she has already apologized. But yes, she has to work on her manners." You wink at Alexia, making her roll your eyes at you.
"Since when are you guys dating?" She asks curiously, earning another frustrated scream from Alexia.
"Oh no. We are not dating; she is just helping me out because a pipe exploded in my apartment." You reassure her while she stares at you confused, then lowers her gaze,
"So you give your clothes to all of your guests?" Alba asks her sister ironically, making you slightly blush.
"Well, I- I," The older sister stutters, making the other draw conclusions by herself. 
"So you are dating."
"It's complicated." She says. "Is there any particular reason why you are here?"
"I forgot my sweater here last week, and I need it back. But I can come at another time."
"No, I'll get it for you." She disappears into the house, leaving you and Alba in an awkward silence.
Thankfully, Alexia comes back thirty seconds later, 
"So you should come to dinner at mom's house sometime. She would love to meet your new 'roommate.'" She teases her older sister, clearly trying to irritate her.
"Well, then, you should invite Alexandre too since you live at his house more than you live at your own house." She replies sarcastically.
"I thought we reached an agreement to never talk about Alexandre ever again after the incident."
"By incident, she means when I caught them fucking in the bathroom during the semi-finals against Chelsea last year." She explains to you, clearly trying to irritate her sister, making you feel like you are getting way too much information on their dynamics in one sitting.
"Let me guess: when she saw you, she made some sarcastic remark, rolled her eyes, and left, right?" You joke, clearly imagining the scene.
"That's exactly it! Always rolling her eyes at people. So annoying! Finally, someone who gets it!"
"Uggghh." Alexia sighs and rolls her eyes at you both.
"See! She just did it again!" 
"I don't like this coalition between the two of you." She lightly pouts.
"It's not a coalition when we are simply just stating the truth!" You lightly tease her, earning an approving nod from Alexia's sister.
"I hate you both!" She exclaims, fully knowing that she was just lying.
"No, you don't." Then you turn to Alba, "It was nice meeting you; I hope we'll see each other soon. I have to get changed for practice." You leave the two sisters while you get ready for training.
After a couple of minutes, Alexia entered your now shared room; you turned to her and placed your hands on her shoulders.
"So you met my sister…"
"She's very nice; I hope I made a good impression." You say insecurely.
"You made a great impression, cariño. I'm just really sorry that you had to meet her in these circumstances. Not to put pressure on you, but my sister can't keep a secret, and she'll definitely tell my mom about you."
"What a way to not put pressure on me." You chuckle nervously.
"Don't worry. I will handle everything, okay?" She gives you a small peck. "Now, are you ready?"
Training that day was even more intense than the day before, with the exception that you were finding so many link-ups with your new teammates. Sometimes, you would forget that you weren't training anymore with your old teammates, that if you passed the ball to the right, you would find Giugliano without looking, or that Linari was right behind you, ready for a pass if you needed it. 
Now, you had different teammates, and your body had to get used to it. 
Being back on the pitch with Mapi had been so exciting. Both of your styles of play evolved so much that how you played at Atletico didn't matter anymore. She loved playing with the ball, so you'd expect more passes from her than before.
What really changed everything for you were the players up front. Playing behind Alexia and Aitana was something that didn't happen every day. The best way for them to express themselves was if you were able to cover defensively for them, which you were doing gladly. Adapting to their style of play was not simple; they played on short and fast passes and opted less for long passes, which were your specialty. 
You were practicing on free kicks, which you thought you were pretty good at. You didn't know why, but you were able to curve the ball perfectly, making the goalkeepers go crazy.
You were in a team with Mapi against Alexia and Graham Hansen, whom you were unceremoniously obsessed with her football skills.
It was your turn to shoot your first free-kick. Paños was on goal, and she was eying the ball. You go for the kick and curve the ball perfectly; the goalkeeper didn't even move because she thought it would be going out. It hit a top bin, and it was in. You throw your hand in the air competitively. "Dajeee!"
"That was a great curved ball! Where did you learn that?" Mapi asked, shocked, as she had never seen you take a free kick like that before.
You shake your shoulders nonchalantly while Caro asks you, "What are your free kick stats?"
"Like all time or just last season?" You ask shyly.
"All the time."
"Well, since I played for Roma, I was usually the one who took free kicks. I guess out of fifty-one direct free kicks, I scored forty-seven if I remember correctly." 
"Wait, really?" Alexia asks you, shocked.
"Well, I love taking free kicks, and I practice a lot on them."
"That's not normal, Y/n; that's a really high conversion rate. I don't understand why I just heard about this!" Your friend tells you.
"I don't know, I just love taking them." You shrug your shoulders. "Plus, when I go for a curved ball, I don't know how, but I do it in a way that is almost impossible to predict."
"You can do a knuckleball too?"
"I'm not that good at that." They move the ball to the place and offer you to kick it. You hit the ball hard, and it goes for the post, then bounces off the other and goes in.
You scrunch your nose, dissatisfied, getting a new ball for another free kick, while your teammates look at you, shocked.
You turn to look at them, "What? 
"Well, now we have to change teams, or it's going to get too easy for you guys!" Alexia says competitively.
"Oh, hell no! Now it's too late; we already decided on the teams!" Mapi says.
"Well, let Y/n decide." Ale crosses her arms, looking at you. "Do you want to swap teams and be with me, who is currently hosting you in my home, or that woman over there?" She points disgusted Mapi.
"Well, I-"You try to talk. 
"Of course, she's going to choose me! I've known her for more than seven years!" They kept on bickering while you and Caro just stared at them, chuckling. 
"You know? I think I'm actually switching teams." You raise an eyebrow, smirking. 
"You made the right decision," Alexia says proudly. She walks to you to get on your side.
"That's arrogant to assume that I would switch teams with you, Alexia." You give her a smirk and walk to Caro's side, leaving Mapi and Alexia next to each other. "Caro and I are going to destroy you!"
And so you did. After another twenty minutes, you finally leave the pitch and get home with Alexia. Once again, you were exhausted, but you were very happy that you were able to get along with your new teammates.
As soon as you get home, you throw yourself to the couch while Nala jumps on top of you for cuddles, which you gladly give her.
Alexia was still pouting because she lost the free-kick competition. "Oh, come on, you can't be still mad!"
"I'm not mad."
"Well, it's not every day that you get to be on the same team as Caroline Graham Hansen. You know how much I am obsessed with her football skills."
"Well, then, why don't you go and ask her if you could crash at her place."
You sit right up and drag her by the shirt to you. "Are you jealous, piccola?"
"No, I am not! Why would I ever be! Caro is in a relationship with Marta. Plus, I am the one that has two Ballon d'Or." She says, trying to convince you.
"I know. You are the best of the best. I had to basically seduce you so that my team could have a chance against you. And you don't have to worry about anyone. There is no one else." The last words unconsciously slip out of your mouth, making you mentally curse at yourself.
"There is no one else for me either. Y/n, I have to tell you something." You nod at her while placing your arms on her shoulders.
"I'm in lo-"The phone rings again. This time, it is Alexia's phone. She goes to look at it. "It's my agent. I really need to take this."
After thirty minutes, she comes back looking stressed out.
"What was the call about, that made you go on the phone for thirty minutes?" You ask curiously.
"Oh no, I was also on the phone with my mom; that's why I was out for so long."
"Is everything okay at home?"
"Everything is great!" You could see that something was up. "But you know when I told you that my mom found out about you-us?"
"No? I thought that she still didn't know."
"Well, now she does. AndsheinvitedusfordinnerandIdidn'tknowwhethertotellyoubecauseIdon'tknowifyouwanttocome."
"What, sorry? I know you have this cute little habit of talking fast when you are nervous, but remember that I am not Spanish."
"Sorry." She takes a deep breath. "My mom invited us for dinner. You can totally say no, but-"
"I would love to come to dinner, Alexia. You didn't have to be that nervous." You give her a small peck on the lips. "Tell her I will bring the dessert."
-
"So, are you ready to finally meet your mother-in-law this afternoon?" Mapi asks you while you leave for morning training together. Finally, your home was fixed from the pipe, and you were able to finally live there. There was still a lot of work to do as you had to basically furnish the apartment, which had been really hard, especially when you were away for most of the day.
Thankfully, Mapi offered to help build a table that you had bought from Ikea in your living room, so with some help, your home was starting to take shape.
"She is not my mother-in-law. I am not currently in a relationship."
"I still don't understand why you can't tell her how you feel."
"Fear of rejection. Or fear that it's going to turn out like my previous relationship. Fear of being just delusional or fear of-"
"Okay, you have made your point! I just feel like you should; maybe you'll find out that she feels the same."
"Yeah, right. As if someone like her could fall for someone like me. She's way out of my league. But anyway, you have met Alexia's sister and mom, how are they? Do you have any tips?"
"They are going to love you. Just be yourself."
"That's not helping, Mapi." You chuckle.
"Ugh, just be polite and show that you genuinely care for Alexia. They are very protective of her. Don't show off, and don't be too shy. But I really don't think you are going to have a problem doing all that."
As soon as you went home, you quickly got ready in your desolate apartment; as soon as you were done, Alexia texted you.
Your Favorite Kickboxer ;)
I'll be here in 5 minutes.
The nerves were kinda getting to you, so you paced around your empty living room until Alexia came knocking at your door. As soon as she saw you, she quickly gave you a hug and pecked your lips. 
"Hey, Cariño, are you ready?"
"So ready! You don't even know!" You fake out.
"Okay, yeah. You have to work on your lying skills. What's up? You don't have to come if you don't want to." She says calmly.
"It's not that Ale. I'm just nervous. I haven't met the mom and sister of a girl I am seeing since my ex. I'm just nervous, that's it."
"They'll love you, believe me. Now, take a deep breath; everything will be fine. We will go to my mom's for lunch, and she will show you some of my baby pictures, trying to embarrass me, and my sister will do the same. Then we'll get back home, cuddle up on the couch, and watch some of your sappy movies, okay?" You slowly nod, feeling a slight motivation through her words. "Now are you ready, cariño?"
You slightly nod, and she leads you to her car, but before that, you stop her and gently kiss her lips. "Thank you. You know I really, really like you?" You tell her.
"I really, really like you too."
-
You get to Alexia's mom's house, and the first thing she does is go up and hug you. You were taken by surprise, but after a second of shock, you quickly reciprocated.
"You must be Y/n, right?"
"Yes, it's me. You have a lovely house."
She takes you into the living room, and then she quickly disappears into the kitchen while Alba appears out of her room to see you.
You lightly chat with her until Alexia's mom screams for the two girls to come and help her; they quickly get into the small kitchen, clearly not knowing what to do.
"Do you need help, Eli?" You ask shyly.
"Oh no, you are the guest." She says, gently smacking your hands away from the pan you were stirring.
"Oh really, it's no biggie. I love cooking, plus I know how much Ale is a disaster in the kitchen. I can help if you like." You offer politely.
"For your information, I am a great cook," Alexia says, slightly offended. Neither her sister nor her own mother backed her up. All knowing how bad she was, making you chuckle. 
"Don't worry, mija, you have some great qualities too." Her mom lightly teases Alexia, making her pout cutely.
As soon as lunch was ready, you helped set up the table, and you sat down.
"So, Y/n, how do you like Barcelona?"
"Oh, I love it here. I just had a minor slip-up with my apartment, but now everything is fixed."
"You are from Italy, right? Because I don't hear any accent." Her mom asks curiously.
"Well, I lived in Spain for a long time before moving clubs. I played for Atletico Madrid with Mapi."
"So you must be happy having her back as your teammate."
"I'm really glad. Plus, Barcelona has always been my dream club."
"Is it difficult being away from home?"
"Well, I left my home in Italy when I was really young; I left to study in the USA."
"Oh wow, what did you study there?" Alba asks you.
"I studied physiotherapy."
"So when you retire from football, you could become a therapist for Barcelona or some other football club," Alexia suggests.
"Well, I could, but I actually work with prosthesis. I studied to help people who have lost their limbs to build them prosthesis."
"I didn't know that!" Ale tells you, shocked but also proud.
-
Lunch proceeded great. Ale's mom and Alba were just like Mapi pictured them. Fiercely loyal and protective of one another. You really hoped that you made a good impression because even though you weren't in an actual relationship with Alexia, meeting her family felt like a huge step, and you'd hate for them to not feel like Ale made the right decision by seeing each other.
What you really liked, though, was the fact that you could see how much Alexia was being herself around her family. She didn't have her walls up, nor did she have to keep up with her duties as the captain. She was just herself, and you were lucky enough to be able to experience it and be part of her inner circle.
As soon as lunch was finished, you stood up to help Ale's mom clean up the table, and then you brought the dessert that you had made for the occasion.
"I didn't have much time to prepare something fancier; my kitchen is still a mess."
"You didn't have to prepare anything!" Ale's mom replies while she cuts open the cake you had stress baked for the occasion.
"My parents always taught me to never walk into a home as a guest empty-handed." You simply reply. "And really, it's nothing. I love baking, so actually, you gave me an excuse to make something."
"You know, Y/n, out of all of the girls that Alexia has brought home, you might be the nicest." You turn your head down, blushing, while Alexia, embarrassed, calls out her mother.
"Well, I think that just the fact that you are here means a lot. You know, Y/n, Alexia had a very bumpy love life." Alba calls her sister out, making Alexia send her a death glare.
You were too curious now, "I wanna hear all the details." You rub your hands, waiting for Alba to fill you in.
"Well, Alexia had many situationships that ended rather quickly." 
"Alba!" Alexia warns her.
"One lasted two weeks I think, with this nice girl. For the record, she was really nice. The poor girl had the misfortune to be a cat person. Nana didn't like her, so she stopped seeing her."
"For the record, I don't regret it! My Nala is my best matchmaker, and I could never be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like my dog, who's currently living with me."
You chuckle lightly at her, "Thankfully, Nala likes me, or else, I wouldn't have lasted even a day." You tease Alexia, remembering how you met the small dog when you first hooked up with her, how Nala would try to get her owner's attention, but she was too busy on you to actually care.
"Well, thankfully, you are also a Barça fan because my sister left a fucking date because they were a Madrid fan."
"Okay, it did not go like that." Ale tries to explain herself, but she is soon cut off by her sister again.
"You told her that you played football, and she made a small comment about how she slightly preferred Madrid to Barcelona."
"She wanted me to go to the Bernabeu with her." She pauses. "On the Madrid section!"
"Poor girl, you turned down a girl just because of her club preference?" You chuckled at her stubbornness.
"She was also very annoying." 
"How many dates did you go with the Madritista?" You ask her.
"One." You all burst out laughing.
"The next girl instead, more than a situationship, was a failed date. She was a friend of a friend of mine, and after the date, Ale called me and I asked how the date went, and she replied that she thought that the girl was amazing, but she didn't like the outfit, so it wouldn't work." Alba chuckles hard, making you shake your head teasingly at Alexia.
"In my defense, she was amazing, but the outfit was too distracting, so much so that it felt like our personalities wouldn't go together."
"You got all that by an outfit?" You ask her incredulously.
"Yes." She states bluntly making you playfully shake your head at her.
-
By the time lunch was finished, you were about to leave.
"It was lovely meeting the both of you. I really hope I'll see you soon." You go to hug the two women and then leave to go to the car, waiting for Alexia to say the final goodbye.
When Ale gets into the car, she sits in the driver's seat, takes your hand, and kisses it.
"Thank you for coming." 
"Thank you, for inviting me. Now let's go home; we have a couch to build."
As you get home, Ale quickly gets ready to build your Ikea couch while you take some of your most valuable stuff, like family pictures or small trinkets that hide memories that you will forever treasure. 
You were unpacking the first ball they gave you when you scored your first hat trick, then you moved to a larger box, and you soon felt overwhelmed by how much stuff you had to unpack, making you slightly regret your life choices. 
Alexia was still on the floor trying to build up your couch when she suddenly resurfaced clumsily. 
"Why are those instructions so difficult? I just feel like Ikea should be better at making them. I should ask Frido." She complains to herself, making you chuckle from across the room. 
As you looked at her while she was building your couch, without anything in return, just simply to make you feel more at home, a warm feeling spread through your chest.
You just smiled. Smiled at the woman who came out of nowhere and turned your life around. Smiled at the woman who had taken your heart without you noticing it. And then you realize that maybe what you had with Alexia right now wasn't enough for you. You wanted more. Because those feelings that you had slowly built over time weren't avoidable anymore. What you had with her wasn't enough, and you realized that you couldn't pretend anymore that you were okay with it. 
You needed to be alone, to think, to prepare yourself. Just her being in the same house as you was just too much. You were feeling too much. Feeling too much for her.
So you quickly stood up, crossing your arms, unconsciously wanting to close yourself off as much as possible.
"Ale, I need you to get out."
She turns towards you and sees how much you were shaken. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything is good. I just need you to leave, please." You try to be as convincing as possible. 
"Everything is not good. You are not good. Tell me what's wrong." She rubs your shoulders soothingly in worry.
You don't know why, but your mind figured that it would be best if you'd just rip the bandaid off.
"Ale, I think we have a problem." You take a deep breath. "I think I'm in love with you."
There was no turning back now. You could take your words back, so you waited patiently as her brows furrowed and then quickly fixed in a soft expression.
"I think we have two problems then. Because I think I am in love with you too."
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💘~Let me see you~💘
Genshin men brushing your hair away from your face.
Ft. Itto, Diluc, Xiao, Tighnari
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Tags: long-haired!reader, pre-relationship, huge crushes, fluff, meet cutes, a little gaslighting for flavor, flustered dorks, extremely PG here just sweet torturous pining.  Note: I'm back! If this looks familiar than it probably is. Other than a few tweaks, this is a repost from my old blog! I will be posting my old stuff and working on new things too! Enjoy!
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Itto
Listen…. This man’s impulse control is ZERO. So reaching out and tenderly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear was never a second thought.
Itto has always been a touchy person. You are no stranger to being included in elaborate handshakes, crushing hugs, palm aching high-fives, and the occasional holding of the hand while he leads you to the next bout of mischief the gang is getting into.
This touch tho….. was so much softer than you've ever thought the oni capable of. You'd question whose hands they were if not for the soft graze of Itto’s long pointed nails.
It's not weird unless you make it weird...... Please don't make it weird.
If you point out the gesture, he insists that he was just helping a homie out. Bro is DENSE, absolutely clueless that he has a big ol' crush.
Everyone in the Arataki gang was dying to know what would happen next in the newest adventure novel from Yea Publishing House. This volume of the popular story had just been released and if they weren’t quick enough it was bound to sell out! Sure, it was only going to take a couple days to restock but the spoilers were guaranteed to be all over the streets by then. Itto was at the forefront of the line, insisting the whole gang camp out early to snag one. It became evident that this is where the Oni’s foresight had ended. The rowdy bunch was standing in front of the seller when the realization had hit; you were all too broke to get copies. In an act of impulse desperation, you had the bright idea to ban together. One by one, members emptied each of their wallets of what little mora they had. You could hear the grumbles and complaints from other people waiting in line as you quickly added it all up. Shinobu would definitely scold you all if she there and not caught up in ‘cool ninja stuff’ as Itto calls it. You proudly announced it was enough for one volume.... and a couple snacks.  Overall, a complete success in Itto's book!
“Great going Y/N! We have the next volume of ‘I Stubbed My Toe And Became A Vampire Magical Girl In Another World’ AND we have enough tri-colored dango to go around! See? What did I tell ya? We keep nothing but the best here in the Arataki gang!” The oni bragged with the widest grin stretching from ear to ear. He laughed as he wrapped one beefy arm around you and punched the other triumphantly in the air. Itto’s energy was contagious and soon even you were also holding the book up and exclaiming with the others just how much the Arataki gang rules. 
Broke and happy, the ban of hoodlums cheered for their victory and gathered on the beach. You’ve learned a thing or two since joining the Arataki gang, like how to get comfortable almost anywhere. You handled getting the bonfire going as Mamoru was already poking sticks through lavender melons. The rest of the guys were off grabbing makeshift seats like stumps or big rocks. It didn’t take long since this was far from their first rodeo. Once the fire was big and healthy, Itto boisterously bestowed upon you the honor of storyteller. The boys eagerly sat around the fire to finally enjoy the fruits of their labor. You chuckled at his antics and dove right into the first pages. You barely registered how Itto diligently chose the closest seat and hung off your every word. Everyone was a great audience, ooo's and ahh's were always right on cue. 
The main character just discovered their newest magic vampire power and were heading into the heat of their latest battle when…. you froze. The words on the page stopped computing as soon as you felt a feather soft touch on your skin. Tentative fingers swept across your forehead and lingered for just a moment behind your ear. You must have been so caught up in the excitement that you didn't think to tie up your hair. It was spilling over your face while you were reading. When you glance over, you are met with Itto's complete and utter attention. His intensely crimson eyes are locked on only you, listening intently with a relaxed smile across his features. He looked at ease and entirely oblivious to the fact that he just made your heart skip a beat. 
"Boss you can flirt with Y/N later! The big fight is about to happen!" Genta complained loudly, followed by agreeing groans from the rest of the boys. 
"Pffft flirting?!?!? I was just looking out for my bud here! As a responsible leader of this crew its my responsibility to-... to make sure Y/N doesn't get hair in their mouth and choke! I just saved their life! It’s foresight like this that makes me qualified to be the head honcho around here!" Itto's ramblings got louder and more confident with each word, thoroughly doubling down on his point. The Oni stood at full height and began spewing his facts about the serious dangers of choking and the statistics of deaths by hair per year, most of which you were sure were untrue. 
"Ok! Ok boss! Sure, please can we get on with the novel?"  Akira groaned, not fooled for one second, but wanting so badly for it to end. 
You put the bumbling man out of his misery and cleared your throat loudly. Itto’s ego was stroked enough and took the hint to settle down. The man reclaimed his spot next you without a fuss, his dopey smile returned yet again. You attempted to cover your heated cheeks with your book and willed yourself to forget the tingling on your skin where Itto's touch had lingered. You shook your head up clear your thoughts enough to get comfortable once again. There were still the final chapters to get through and the show must go on!
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Diluc
LET ME TELL YOU! This man has TOO MUCH impulse control.
Diluc is so well-versed in etiquette and would never carelessly reach into someone's personal space without permission. Unless it’s a FIGHT. 
Something about you makes all that etiquette go right out the window. He is doing it before he can think himself out of it. 
He would scold himself for overstepping and possibly making you uncomfortable. He apologies earnestly, ever the gentleman. 
Internally flustered, but hides it a little too well. Composure is this man's bread and butter after all. 
Is acutely aware of the fondness they have for you. He often busies himself with other matters to keep from dwelling on it too much.
To say you bit off more than you could chew would be an understatement. The sack of potatoes you bought from Springvale looked deceptively light before. In your rush to get back to Dawn Winery, you didn't even think to use a wagon or bring any help. You were sure Adelinde was going to be so disappointed at how late you were. 
As the newest maid, you were eager to prove yourself. Everyone at the manor was nice, but Master Diluc seemed particularly reserved with you. The master of the house was quite friendly at first, often sharing a few conversations with you as you cleaned around his office. You deliberated whether it was the vases of flowers you switched out in his office. Cecelias just seemed to brighten up the place more. Or maybe it was when you arranged his meals to resemble cute animals sometimes. But you only did that when you notice him having a particularly rough day! Ugh, he must think you're so unprofessional.
You let your thoughts wonder as you miserably carried your potato’s. Soon you felt your steps become sluggish and a slight tremble in your arms, signaling you couldn't go much further. The winery was still another half mile away but you had no choice. You slumped down in defeat on a near by rock. You were sure definitely going to be fired for this, how careless of you to not think ahead. Even if Diluc disliked you, you really enjoyed your time at the winery and getting to know everyone. You hung your head in shame, praying that you at least got to say goodbye to the rest of the staff before getting kicked out the manor. 
"Y/N? Are you hurt?" A hand cut through your curtain of hair that blocked your view of the approaching figure. Gingerly, the gloved hand guided the strands away from your face and tucked them behind your ear. Diluc was crouching in front of you, his intense gaze scanned your features for discomfort. 
"Master Diluc! No I'm alright! I'm so sorry I-" You quickly explained your situation and tried to stay focused while Diluc's gentle touch lingered on your skin. He seemed visibly relieved to learn you were unharmed. It was only then he noticed his encroachment. The man jerkily retracted his hand and leaned away to give you some space. The red haired man seemed alarmed for but a moment before clearing his throat to recompose himself.
"My apologies, I heard you gone alone to Springvale and had still not returned. This path can be dangerous when it gets late. I saw you crouched over and I thought.... Regardless I apologize for my boldness.” Diluc stated awkwardly. Despite his shyness, he still looked every part of a prince when he stood and offered you his hand. 
“Thank you for being concerned.” You smiled and took his hand. “I’m just lucky to have such a thoughtful master! There was no need to come all the way out here for me.” You lied through your teeth and turned to attempt to lift the sack once again. Diluc cleared his throat and visibly clammed up once more. Wordlessly, he lifted the potatoes in your arms and began walking back to the winery. You tried insisting that you could do it, but he stubbornly declined and refused to meet your gaze. It was quite endearing to see the confident master of the dawn winery made such a bashful gesture. Perhaps your boss didn’t dislike you as much as you think....
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Xiao
Be nice. Dude doesn’t understand the intimacy of the gesture. Why are you suddenly acting so strange? 
Xiao was just annoyed that it was in the way. As a man of action, it was only natural to moved it. It is nothing more.
He wasn’t going to let a strand of hair keep him from looking at your face. Why is that such a big deal? Why are you red? He’s just telling you the truth.
Nah, it was you and your mortal reactions that is making him flustered. It was you staring at him with those big cute mortal eyes that’s causing this. It has to be, there’s no other explanation. (Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss)
Is either clueless or refuses to connect the dots that he likes you a lot. Its probably a mixture of both.
Working at the Wangshu Inn came with a few perks and stargazing after your shift was by far your favorite. The view, sounds, and atmosphere were wonderful. And it wasn’t just anywhere that you also get a quality companion to share it with. You had just settled in and laid the two plates of almond tofu next to you. It took but a few moments from when his name left your lips for Xiao to appear. The stoic man wordlessly walked over and took his usual seat nearby. Routine took over from there but getting to this point was akin to pulling teeth.
Xiao was annoyed when you initially took a liking to his vantage point. The adeptus could see all the surrounding hillychurl camps from the spot you insisted on sitting at for hours. He took no joy in intimidating humans, but his looming presence usually worked to deter mortals from he didn’t want them to be. Imposing aura or not, everyone has to share. You stubbornly stood your ground and stated the roof was plenty big enough for the two of you. Xiao would never resort to physically moving you, therefore was forced to relent. He remained out of sight but you sometimes caught glimpses of him when he would arrive there first. You couldn’t help the small inkling of guilt in your chest from forcing the other out of the spot. You really didn’t mind sharing. As a peace offering you began to leave small gifts behind. Sometimes they were small trinkets, some folded origami, or occasionally fruits and other snacks. When you saw your gifts still there, you would simply take it and replaced it with something else. It took nearly two months but when you returned to see your gift gone for the first time, you couldn’t help but smile the rest of the night. It became like a habit, not unlike befriending a crow. 
Learning Xiao took a liking to almond tofu was the real game changer. You made your best effort to cook the dish yourself, cutting no corners. When you left the meal box there you expected it to be like the other gifts that disappeared into the night. It was a shocking to see something in return the next day. It took only a few more days for the yaksha to finally cave and joined you. He primarily insisted that you didn’t have to keep making your offerings. You laughed when the realization hit you. You spent the last months quite literally making offerings to an adeptus, praying for forgiveness. 
Over time, the company became expected on the rooftop and the silence was comfortable. When conversation was sparked it flowed naturally and cemented an unlikely friendship. Although friendlier, Xiao could still be blunt and dismissive at times. It happened especially when he became frustrated with understanding mortal’s ever changing customs.
“You can’t just hold people’s faces like that!” You squeak, hiding your burning face in your hands. 
“I wasn’t holding your face. I was moving your hair away, its blowing everywhere. I can’t even see you when its this windy. You should be wearing it up so I can look at you while you’re talking.” Xiao responded defensively but his tense tone didn’t match the words leaving his mouth. It especially contrasted the way he had used both his hands to smooth down your hair on each side, pausing to look back into eyes. When his stare hadn't let up, you were the one to break away. Your heart was damn near about to beat out of your chest. 
“That’s something that.... lovers do! It’s embarrassing in this context.” You try to explain, noticing his frustration. Xiao’s eyes widened just a tad before avoiding eye contact altogether and crossing his arms.
“That doesn’t make sense. Just forget it happened then and keep telling your story about the inn guest.” The yaksha stated, grabbing his plate and turning away as he listened. The moon was just full enough for you to spot a small dusting of pink on Xiao’s ears. You decided to show him mercy and didn’t push it further. After all, it would probably take weeks of offerings for him to forgive you for teasing him.
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Tighnari
No sweat. Doesn’t even bat an eye at the physical contact. He’s just being practical.
It doesn’t stop there. This dude will give you a whole up-do. It’s dangerous to keep your hair loose like that in the forest. He’s seen plenty of cases.
Your safety comes first and foremost. As soon as Tighnari notices it obstructed your vision he is on it. He’s surprisingly good at styling it too. Its not unlike braiding ropes and vines.
More insistent than normal on the matter. He claims it’s because you’re still relatively new to the forest. But other forest watchers may beg to differ.
He considers you a good friend, but it does confuse him when he notices these odd waves of protectiveness. It’s something he’s going to have to research further before coming to any solid conclusions. 
There is extensive in-depth training that each forest ranger must go through before being allowed to step foot outside the marked trails of the Avidya Forest. It was grueling, but totally worth it when you saw you were finally scheduled for your first real patrol! As part of training, Forest Watcher Tighnari was assigned to accompany you and show you the ropes. You meticulously poured your lesson notes and made sure you had all necessary equipment on hand. Tighnari was the best there was and there was a part of you that really wanted to impress him. He was sure to quiz you right? There is no way he would let someone into the dangerous parts of the forest without being sure that you knew your stuff right? Nerves were definitely getting the better of you.
In hindsight it was quite silly to have worried so much. Tighnari was surprisingly easy to get along with and not afraid to get straight to the task at hand. As the week went on, you eagerly accompanied him on his routes and witnessed first hand just how brilliant the forest watcher was. 
You didn’t expect how down to earth the revered Chief Forest Watcher Tighnari turned out to be. It was common for him to go off on tangents and lectures here and there, but it never felt like he was just trying to flex his knowledge or question yours. He was kind of excitable in that way, and you couldn’t help but find it quite endearing. You picked up on the quirks that indicated that was become accustomed to rangers spacing out while he talked on and on. Tighnari even seemed surprised that you had follow up questions about the topics he was just rambling on about. His ears were always a dead giveaway that he was caught off guard. Even someone without a big ol’ stupid crush would have found it cute. 
The tall fluffy ears in question may or may not have added to your carelessness on this particular hike. Perhaps it was why a tiny little branch sent you tumbling down into a ravine. Later you would be corrected that the ravine in question would more accurately be labeled a gully, though that specific fun fact was far less welcomed. 
“Y/N?!? Are you alright? Don’t move, I’ll be right there.” Tighnari called out urgently and hurried over to you. 
“I’m okay. I don’t know how well you can treat a bruised ego though...” You called back. Attempting a joke to hide how embarrassed you felt. It wasn't your smoothest move. Tighnari was there in moments to help you sit up. His nimble fingers began untangling your hair from your face so that he could to get a better look at you.
“This isn’t a time for jokes Y/N. That could have been a serious fall.” You've heard this tone before. It was usually reserved for reckless forest visitors or rangers that didn't heed his instructions and cause trouble. This was your first time being on the receiving end and to make things worse you looked a mess with twigs and dirt covering you from head to toe.
“I know. I’ll be better next time.” You replied dejected. Tighnari managed to brush your hair back to take a look, but your eyes darted anywhere else while he examined you. 
“You're lucky enough to walk out of that with just a couple minor abrasions. Just be careful alright?” Tighnari concluded, his tone softened considerably. You braved yourself to sneak a small glance up at him and he offered you a comforting smile. “Although, I do have an inkling of what caused you to misstep in the first place.” The forest watcher continued.
“And what would that be?” You asked far too quickly. The only way you were ever going to admit to ogling over your boss’ cute fluffy fox ears was over your dead body god damn it! 
“Having your hair loose at this length can prove quite hazardous while paroling. I must have overlooked it before. Here, come sit I think I have a solution.” A careful hand guided you over to a nearby log. Next you felt the small tugs and pulls of the remaining twigs being dislodged from your hair. Tighnari was gentle but efficient while he worked behind you. 
The ambiance of the forest made the silence quite enjoyable. It became so relaxing you could fall asleep if you wanted. You probably would have too, but you became hyper-aware each time Tighnari's gloved fingers brushed past your skin. After some time he announced he was done and you reached behind your head to feel what you could only describe as an intricate braid leading down your back.
“Wow! I didn’t expect.... thank you!” You said, in awe at his handwork. 
“All in a day’s work. Come on we should be heading back before dark.” Tighnari led the way back to the trail. “And uh, watch your step.” He added with a sly grin. You rolled you eyes and chuckled at the playful sass. There’s plenty interesting specimens to learn about in the Avidya Forest and you were sure you just found your favorite. 
<A/N: Thank you for anyone still here support my little writings! Replies and feedback always appreciated as I'm starting again from scratch!>
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literaryavenger · 5 months
Text
Broken
Summary: after Civil War you meet and bond with Bucky Barnes. You want to help him, but do you really realize how hard it's going to be?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Hints to eating disorder. Language probably, for now just fluff and innocent and broken Bucky. My poor attempts at being funny.
Word Count: 2.7K
A/N: This is my first story, and it's taken me a long time to even decide to post it. As of now I honestly have no idea where this story is going, the idea just popped in my head and I ran with it. I do have the first three chapters ready and I'm starting the fourth, I hope I find a plot at some point, we'll see how this one does and go from there.
Also, this is a reader version of a story I have on wattpad with an OC, if anyone wants to check that out the name's the same :) I had to rewrite it accordingly so if there are any mistakes that's why, feel free to point them out so I can fix them thanks.
Masterlist
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You enter the kitchen of the Avengers tower and saw two people sitting at the counter, immediately recognizing the one closer to the door.
"Stevie!" you practically yell, running towards the blonde man who stands up and opens his arms in time for you to jump on him, hugging him tightly while he raises you in the air and spins a little.
"Good morning, koala bear." he says while chuckling lightly.
"When did you come back?" you ask excitedly after a few minutes of hugging, not letting go just yet.
"Last night." he answered "Nat said you had just gone to sleep, I didn't wanna wake you."
"Steve, what's happening? Is she hurting you?" a voice you've never heard says.
You let go just enough for him to be able to put you back on the ground without letting go of you.
"It's okay, Buck, it's just a hug." he say to the other man as you turn a little to look at him better. He has a confused look on his face, at which Steve adds "It's just a way to express affection, it's fine."
At this you're a little confused yourself so you look at Steve who gives you a look that tells you not to question him, so you don't.
Instead you let go of Steve, turning completely towards his friend and stepping a little closer.
"Hi," you say looking at him and introducing yourself.
He doesn't look very comfortable so you don't try to shake his hand, choosing to wave a little with a smile.
He answers with a quiet "Bucky." while looking at the ground, like he's quite sure if he's even allowed to answer.
You tilt your head to the side, considering him for a second before saying "Do you want a hug, too? I promise I won't hurt you." you add quickly after he raises his head a little and you notice a slightly worried look on his face.
He thinks about it before just shrugging and nodding his head slightly.
"Okay. Do you... want to get up?" you hesitantly ask and he raises his head a little more, still not looking at your face but slowly getting up from his chair.
You glance at Steve who seems very interested in what's happening and is watching intently without making a sound. Your eyes meet for a few seconds and he raises an eyebrow and motions slightly towards his friend as if to tell you to keep going. You nod and get closer to Bucky until you're right in front of him.
You watch him for a couple of seconds and when his head stays lowered you decide to take the lead and move to put your arms around his neck, slowly so as not to startle him.
After several seconds of you gently hugging him while he stands with his arms to his sides, you're about to pull away when you feel him slowly move his arms to your lower back and keep them there lightly, being very careful like he was afraid of hurting you.
You smile a little into his shoulder and wait a couple of minutes before pulling away.
"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" you tease, your hands still on his shoulders.
He gives you a little smile and finally looks you in the eyes for the first time and, as soon as his eyes meet yours, you're transfixed by how blue they are.
You're not sure how long you two stay looking into each other's eyes, but you're brought back to reality by Bucky's voice.
"Are you okay?" he asks, seeming genuinely concerned.
"Yes? Um... if you ever want another hug I'm always up for it... I love giving hugs." you say smiling and taking your hands off his shoulders as he drops his arms to his sides again.
He drops his gaze to the ground again, while your eyes stay on his face and you see a small smile and a slight nod.
After a few more seconds of looking at him you turn around and start walking towards the fridge, passing Steve and noticing a weird smirk on his face.
"What?" you ask him with a confused look but still smiling.
"Nothing..." he says, still smirking.
"Okay, weirdo." you say back laughing a little.
"Okay, weirdo. Breakfast?" he asked.
"No, I'll just drink some water." you say casually, avoiding his eyes.
"Y/N..." he says warningly.
"It's fine, Stevie, I'm just not hungry." you say, still not looking at him and grabbing a water bottle from the fridge.
As soon as you turn around you're met with the slightly disappointed face of Steve and the confused face of Bucky.
"Besides I don't have to train until this afternoon..." Steve's worry doesn't fade, so you add "I'll eat something later, I swear." you don't know if he's convinced, but his face softens and he lets it go.
"How about you fill me in about what happened while I was gone?" he says, changing the subject with a sympathetic smile.
"Sure, I'll just take a shower first, is that okay?" He nods and you run to your room to take a quick shower.
After you come out you put on some sweatpants and a sports bra just to not have to change until after training.
You grab a hairbrush and run back downstairs where you find Steve waiting for you alone while sitting at the table.
"Hi koala, that was a quick shower." he says with a smile when he sees you.
You lean with your back to the counter in front of the table he's sitting at and start brushing your still damp hair.
"Yep, you know me it's either 5 minutes or 50." you say smiling while he chuckles. "Where'd your friend go?" you ask casually while concentrating on brushing away a knot in your hair.
"He went to take a shower. Last night he was so tired he practically passed out in the guest room."
You humm a response before asking "So, is he gonna live here now? You know, be a part of the team and all? Tony refused to share any details with me..." you add with disappointment, which you're sure he notices because of his answer.
"Tony's still not 100% okay with it, but he's getting there. You know how he is, he doesn't talk about things until he's finished processing them... anyway yes, he'll live here and eventually be part of the team, I hope."
You look up and think about his words before nodding and waiting for him to speak again, but when he doesn't you try to sound as casual as you can while asking questions about his friend. "Why did you have to tell him what a hug is?"
He doesn't look you in the eye and you know he's getting uncomfortable so you don't really expect him to answer. But he does nonetheless
"Buck's not really been himself for the last 70 years... he hasn't been shown a lot of kindness or humanity. That's why I was surprised that he let you hug him so fast. Don't get me wrong I'm happy about it, it's real progress I just wasn't expecting it so soon..." You let him talk without interrupting, pretending to be more concentrated on your hair than his word so as to not make him even more uncomfortable.
You know stories about Bucky in the 40s from Steve and you have seen photos of him, only in black and white, but it was nothing compared to having him in front of you. Something about him just made you want to know more, like you were drawn to him.
You guess Steve picked up on this because, after a little pause, he adds "Look, I know you want to know more, but it's not my story to tell. If and when he's ready, it's up to him who he wants to tell." damn him for knowing you so well.
Of course you understand what he was saying and you know he's right, so you nod and say "You're right... I won't push it, I promise." before he has time to reply though Bucky enters the kitchen with different clothes and wet hair.
To not let him know you were just talking about him Steve quickly says "So, tell me, what have I missed around here?"
You thought about it for a moment as you watch Bucky make his way through the kitchen and sit at the table next to Steve.
"Um, well, Tony made a new addition to the team. It was very abrupt and it's weird that he's so young, but he's a nice kid. His name is Peter, he's 15 from Queens and apparently he's this Spider-man that's been all over youtube. What?"
As you talked you could see a bit of guilt on Steve's face. "We've met him... didn't know he was a kid though..."
"Well, what happened?" you ask, getting more and more frustrated that no one will tell you anything.
You're part of the team after all, and, even though you don't have powers or are a super soldier, you think you have a right to know why everyone suddenly disappeared one day on some mission that you weren’t allowed to know anything about, and why it took half of the team a couple more weeks than the others to come back.
It's not that it was uncommon for you not to know details of a mission you weren't assigned to, but, since Fury chose you from the SHIELD agents to join the Avengers several years ago, it's never happened that a mission required the WHOLE team except one single person.
What pissed you off even more it's that you're not the youngest in the team, nor are you the newest or the least trained.
You started as a SHIELD agent right before Natasha, granted you were a teenager, but both of you trained a lot together with Clint and you fought alongside the other Avengers in the battle of New York.
You also fought together against Ultron, where you united forces with the Maximoff twins, Wanda and Pietro, (the latter had to spend a lot of time in the medbay after, having almost died) and then also Vision, which is still a little weird since you still have Jarvis controlling the tower.
In all of this time you developed family-like bonds with the whole team.
You honestly consider Tony a father figure, him and Pepper treat you like a daughter and you love them for it. Rhodey, Happy and Bruce are like uncles.
Natasha is like a big sister and Wanda is like a younger one. Clint, Thor and even Loki (since he's been made to spend his exile with you as punishment for New York) have been like big brothers to you, Vision and Pietro are kind of like younger brothers, and now even Peter the last few months.
Scott is another new face that's quickly becoming a chaotic best friend. Sam is like a best friend that still shamelessly flirts with you, after years, obviously knowing nothing is going to happen.
And Steve is your absolute best friend, your favorite brother. He's overprotective (to be fair they all are when it comes to you) and caring, can't really say no to you, spoils you a little and you love every minute of it.
They are your family, and having them keep what feels like a very serious and important situation from you, and only you, not only makes you extremely angry, but it's also very sad to think they don't trust you enough.
Or at least that's what it feels like even though they keep telling you that's absolutely not the case.
You can see how uncomfortable Bucky is getting, while Steve is looking more and more guilty by the second, but neither is saying anything, so you just give up.
"Fine," you say, a little disappointed. "Don't tell me. I guess I'll have to wait on Tony to know."
You don't wait for them to answer as you bring your attention to Bucky.
"Can I?" you ask him while pointing to his hair with the brush that you just finished using on yourself.
He gives just you a confused look, so you explain. "Your hair is pretty long, it would be better if you brushed it before it dries otherwise it hurts like hell to do it later."
He looks at Steve with an uncertain expression, and, when the blonde just shrugs in response, Bucky looks back at you and nods.
You go around the table and position yourself behind Bucky. "I'll be as gentle as I can, but I'm sorry if I hurt you. If you want me to stop, just say so, okay?"
He nods again and you start to slowly and carefully brush his hair while telling Steve all the things you did with the others while he was gone.
The mysterious mission happened about 3 months ago, half of the team came back after a day, the others a couple of weeks later, while Steve and Bucky were the only ones to come back just now.
You tell Steve how you bonded with Peter over being "Tony's children", how Scott became something of a girlfriend and the time you spent with him and his daughter, Cassie, who was just adorable.
You tell him about the weird best friend-like friendship that Peter and Loki developed, much to Tony's annoyance, but that you find very cute and funny.
You tell him about all the pranks that you pulled with anyone and against everyone, specially with Sam, Scott and Loki and against Happy, Clint and Thor.
Steve knows everyone in the team is very quick to forgive you, he always jokes about how you have everyone wrapped around your finger, especially Tony.
And you have to admit, he's not totally wrong. Nobody really stays mad at you for more than a couple of days, and sometimes you're definitely treated like the kid of the family. The golden child.
Even Fury has a soft spot for you, which is very rare, to the point that you're the only one allowed to call him Nick.
You also tell Steve of all the "family time" he missed, which is essentially a whole lot of movie nights, game nights and things like that.
You tell him all the jokes you can remember being said, all the funny moments, all the missions and all the times when you missed him like crazy.
By the time you're done telling him everything you could remember, he's crying laughing and you're almost done with Bucky's hair.
"Are you okay? Am I hurting you?" you ask Bucky, as Steve tries to compose himself, still laughing at the prank you and Sam pulled on Clint where you turned his whole room into a giant bird's nest.
Bucky shakes his head and says a quiet "I'm okay" that you're sure Steve doesn't even hear over his own laughter.
You gently finish brushing his hair, then sit in the chair next to him leaning in and gently turning his head towards you so you can check you did a complete job.
At this point his hair is dry and falling down both sides of his face. You push his hair behind his ears to see his face better and smile, his eyes scanning your face.
Neither of you take notice that Steve has stopped laughing and is watching you with the same smirk he had after you hugged as you're both too intent in taking in each other's appearances.
"Is that better?" you ask after a few minutes of silence.
"What?" he ask, a little confused, which makes you giggle.
"Your hair. Is that better?" you ask again.
"Oh. Yeah, thank you." he says blushing, his voice still very quiet.
"You're adorable." you said with another giggle that makes Steve laugh too, while Bucky blushes even more.
You smile at him again before getting up, giving Steve a kiss on the side of the head while you pass him and going towards the door. "I'll see you guys at lunch. I'm supposed to meet Scott and Cassie in 10 minutes. Bye, Stevie."
"Bye, koala bear." Steve answers.
"Bye, Bucky."
"Bye." he says, still kind of quiet but loud enough for you to hear.
You turn around and give him one last smile before going through the living room to the elevator and to the floor that Scott's now living in and where Cassie spent the night.
part 2
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girlgenius1111 · 6 months
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that night was a mistake.
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from a request for a childhood friends to lovers fic with Ona and reader :)
I had intended for this to be... significantly shorter and significantly less angsty but this is what I came up with and i'm rolling with it.
there will be at least one more part
tw. homophobia [not accepting parents]. panic attack. no smut... yet.
The news of Ona signing onto play at Barca should not have filled your stomach with butterflies, but it did. It should have just been an exciting piece of information to receive , but it wasn't. Instead, it sent you spiraling back to your youth, your confusing friendship with Ona. The way you'd left things. It had been a while since you'd seen each other, really seen each other. You'd stepped away from the national team like everyone else had, but unlike Ona, you had not gone back. Even then, you hadn't been around her much since you'd both played on the Barcelona B team. Since you'd so incredibly, so inexplicably fucked things up. The idea of seeing Ona again, not just for a week or two, but every day, was more than a little overwhelming.
Which is how you found yourself on Mapi and Ingrid's front porch at 10pm, the day Ona's signing had been announced. It only occurred to you that you probably looked like a mess, and your unexpected arrival would probably concern your older friends, once you'd already knocked. The door flew open before you could rethink your actions, and Mapi's surprised face stared back at you, quickly turning into one of concern.
"Are you ok? What happened?" Her voice was filled with worry, and you suddenly wished you'd come up with any other plan than the one you'd chosen.
"Um. I'm not really sure. Do you have a second to talk?" Your voice sounded shaky despite your best efforts to steady it, and Mapi's eyebrows creased even further, as she wordlessly stepped aside to let you in, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, leading you to the couch.
Mapi looked at you with a searching gaze and asked, "Do you want me to get Ingrid?" after you'd perched on the couch, looking around for the defender's other half without even really realizing it. You paused, considering, before nodding your head, deciding that you needed to pull yourself together before you spoke again. Mapi disappeared into the bedroom, clearly taking a minute to explain that you were sitting on their couch and acting weird to Ingrid, as you heard muffled voices.
You focused on the little details of the room, attempting to force yourself back into the present. You loved Mapi and Ingrid's place. It was so them. So domestic. The comfy couch, the decorations that were clearly chosen by the Norwegian. The various items left strewn about on the counter, that could only have been left there by Mapi. You felt safe there, you reminded yourself. Ingrid and Mapi would never judge you. They'd do their best to understand, and maybe they'd be able to help.
Lost in your thoughts, you didn't realize the couple had walked into the room until you felt Ingrid's hand grab yours gently, her green eyes meeting yours, filled with so much concern, you felt yourself wilt a little.
"What's going on nena?" Mapi questioned as she took a seat on the couch next to Ingrid. You took a deep breath, deciding to launch into the story before you could change your mind.
It made sense that you were confiding in the older couple. You were young when you'd joined Barca, and Mapi had taken you under her wing. She'd become fiercely protective of you, and Ingrid had quickly followed suit when they'd gotten together. You told them everything. All of it. You'd never done that before, not with anyone. What had happened lived inside a little box in your head that you never let even yourself open.
You started from the beginning, how you and Ona had been really close when you'd played on the B team together. Best friends, before anything else. As you got older, things got different. The two of you got closer, until you were... confusingly close. Maybe it was only confusing to you; you'd been incredibly repressed back then. Staunchly convinced you weren't gay. Deep down, you had known, you'd always known. But that wasn't a reality you thought you could have, not with your parents being the way they were. Ona didn't seem to have the same problems that you did, always shrugging her shoulders at questions about the closeness of the 2 of you, as if she didn't care, when the same questions made you lose your breath, terrified of the implications.
Maybe it shouldn't have been surprising to you, then, when she'd kissed you. It was the obvious direction things were headed, but as she pressed her lips to yours in the dark of the club on her 18th birthday, all you could think was that this would ruin everything. It didn't matter how good it felt, how perfect her lips felt against yours, soft and tasting of cherry chapstick and tequila. It only mattered that you couldn't do this. Not you. Not with a girl, even Ona. It was fine if it was anyone else that was gay, it just wasn't fine if it was you.
So you'd pulled back, even though it killed you to do so. You watched the hurt flash across her face as you told her that you couldn't do this, as you backed away from her, out of the club, and walked all the way home. And even though you wanted to pretend that what happened had not mattered, it had. Because when you got home, you took one look at your parents sitting in the living room, at the crosses that hung on chains from their necks, the picture of fucking Jesus on the wall. And the words left your mouth before you could stop them. The kiss with Ona had changed something in you, and you couldn't go back.
"I'm gay." You had said, voice full of confidence, even as your heart pounded in your chest. They'd asked you to repeat yourself, and you had. They didn't seem surprised, only disappointed . Disappointed as they told you they expected you to move out the minute you turned 18, that they wouldn't support that kind of behavior. You hadn't fought them, hadn't yelled. You'd simply walked back into your bedroom, letting tears fall silently as you felt your family and your best friend, your Ona, slip away from you. She'd never really talked to you after that. She lifted out of your life like she'd never been in it. You never tried to explain yourself, determined that you could only be bad for Ona, that she was better off without you, without your mess.
At this point in the story, you were crying, tears streaming down your face as you admitted the truth for the first time. You lifted your gaze to see Mapi's face contorted in anger, Ingrid's eyes filled with tears. If you hadn't been so upset, you might have laughed at how typical their reactions were. Wiping your face harshly, you continued.
"I moved out the day I turned 18. Ona went to Madrid, and I stayed at Barca, and she never looked at me the same way again. I destroyed her that night, and I never told her why, never told her that I hadn't meant it. I'd just let her go. And now she's coming back, and I don't think I know how to be around her, how to talk to her like I haven't loved her with every inch of my soul for 6 years. And I just. Don't know what to do," your voice broke on the last word, and the sobs you'd been bravely holding in broke free, loud and filled with pain, filling the air.
It wasn't even a second before you felt yourself being pulled into Ingrid's arms, and you held on to her rather desperately, hand fisting into the soft material of her sweater, letting yourself fall apart completely against her. Her hands rubbed your back softly, and you felt Mapi scoot closer, pulling both of you into her arms. You cried until you couldn't cry anymore, and they remained a steady presence, holding you tightly until your sobs slowed to pathetic little sniffles you hated. You pulled away from them after several minutes, taking a deep breath, wiping the tears off your face, already knowing your breakdown would be evident the next morning.
Mapi handed you a glass of water that she'd seemingly procured from thin air and you gulped it down. You finally raised your head to meet their eyes, fearing the pity you would see there. You didn't find it; you only found empathy. You didn't miss the way Ingrid's hand was gripping Mapi's, or the way the sight of it made your heart clench, and your brain immediately fill with thoughts of Ona.
"Thank you for telling us that. I don't really know what to say, other than that you didn't deserve that from your parents." Ingrid spoke softly, as if she'd scare you away if she spoke in her normal voice. The two of them had always known something had happened between you and your parents, and between you and Ona, but you never spoke of it. Ever.
You nodded once, shooting Ingrid a weak smile, before looking to Mapi. She loved Ona, and you weren't really sure how she would act in response to your self perceived transgressions. She surprised you, as she often does, by taking one of your hands in hers. You focused on the tattoos littering her arms, instead of meeting her eyes.
"You can't beat yourself up for this, carino. You were just a kid, you were scared, and you were just trying to survive. It's been 6 years, maybe it's time you try to explain what happened to Ona." Her words were gentle, carrying a seriousness you rarely heard from the defender.
You shook your head. "She probably hates me. I led her on, and I ruined our friendship, and I didn't try to apologize or explain myself in the 6 years that have passed. It's not like I haven't had the chance, we see each other at national duties all the time."
"Well... then you just do what you do at camp. You be friendly, and you let her come to you. If she wants to talk, she'll tell you," she replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. That was one of your favorite things about Mapi. She always respected your decisions, even if they weren't the ones she would make. She never tried to change your mind when you were set on something.
"It'll take time to get used to her being here, but it'll work out," Ingrid chimed in. Suddenly, it all felt less intense than it had before. You could deal with this. Either you'd end up talking to her, or you wouldn't. Everything would be fine. Your friends were right, it would all work out.
"Thank you guys. Really. I'm sorry for bothering you with this, I know it's a lot," you tried to express your apologies, feeling like you'd maybe been a little dramatic, but they stopped you.
"No, y/n, you don't need to apologize. Both of us have told you to come to us if you need help; you did, and we're glad. We're always happy to help you." Mapi spoke firmly, leaving no room for argument. You nodded again, eyes a little watery again, mumbling another quiet thank you.
You yawned then, absolutely exhausted from the emotional ordeal you'd put yourself through. The other girls chuckled lightly, pulling you to lay down on the couch and covering you with a blanket. They left you to rest, with promises that everything would feel easier in the morning.
-----
Months passed, and you found yourself surrounded by reminders of the brunette defender you felt so conflicted about. Everyone was excited about her return to Barcelona, and the world cup she won only increased everything. You managed to keep your head on straight, not losing your mind and having a breakdown like you had in June. Your friends kept a close eye on you, Mapi hovering over you, the same way she did with Patri and Claudia in the weeks of the world cup, maybe a little extra concerned with you. Ingrid kept tabs on you through Mapi, and she called you often, asking searchingly how you were doing, as if she expected you to freak out again.
Your first interaction with Ona wasn't on her first day with the team. It came on your return from Mexico with the rest of the team that hadn't played in the final. Obviously, you'd seen Ona plenty over the past few years. She did her best to avoid you, which made sense, but total lack of contact wasn't possible when you played on the same national team. You didn't know what made today different, why your heart was pounding as you walked into the locker room on the first day back at training after the Mexico tour. It was different this time; more permanent. It wasn't just a few weeks of letting Ona avoid you; it was months of seeing each other every day.
You neared the locker room, and you heard loud voices echoing out of it. You weren't surprised, it was the first time the team was all back together since June, and there was a lot to catch up on. You entered, taking a deep breath, and walked to your locker, responding as the room echoed with greetings towards you. Your eyes immediately found Ona, sitting relaxed in her cubby, talking to Aitana and Mariona. She looked gorgeous. Even in the plain grey and black training top, her hair sitting loose around her shoulders, she was breathtaking.
She laughed at something Mario said, throwing her head back as she did. You couldn't pull your eyes off of her. She looked over at you then, still chuckling at whatever ridiculous joke Mariona had just told. She caught your eye, and you saw her smile fall slightly, an unreadable looking flashing through her eyes before she fixed her smile, raising her hand in a small wave. You returned the gesture, before forcing yourself to look away, walking to Ingrid's cubby, and wordlessly taking a seat on the ground in front of the bench. You handed her your hairbrush, avoiding the searching looks her and Mapi sent you, silently asking the Norwegian to fix your hair. She did, after giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Your first practice back was good, as were the rest of the practices leading up to your first game. The team worked well together, and it felt indescribably good to be back on the pitch with everyone. Especially Ona. The two of you played together just as well as you always had, her passes always miraculously finding you, and you miraculously finding the goal. Your chemistry would have been hard to miss, which is how you found yourselves paired up more often than not. She kept your conversations to small talk, but she was always kind, and if you hadn't known her as well as you did, you would have missed the way she always seemed to hold back around you. Not that you could blame her.
You congratulated her with a high five when she was told she was starting the first game, and tried to ignore how the feeling of her hand against yours sent electric shocks through your body. You guys kept your distance, until you couldn't anymore.
----
Your first game was an away game in Madrid, and you knew from the second you saw Ona on the coach on the way to the pitch that she was nervous. She sat next to Aitana, bouncing her knee, fiddling with her fingers, not saying a word. You'd never seen her this nervous before, and it had you worried. You must have been staring because suddenly the empty seat next to you was filled, and Mapi was plopping down next to you.
"Staring, are we?" she asked with a wry smile, making sure to keep her voice quiet.
"No," you responded defensively, "she just seems really nervous, I was just making sure she was ok."
"... by staring at her?"
"Fuck off. Would you just ask her if she's ok when we get there? Please?" Your voice took on a pleading tone, and Mapi sighed before responding.
"Of course. But you don't need to make sure someone is checking on her-- she has a lot of friends on the team, you aren't the only one who has noticed." she nodded to Alexia and Irene, who were both stealing glances at Ona every so often. Obviously. The captains would check on her. Not you. It wasn't your place.
You simply nodded in response, swallowing the inexplicable lump in your throat at the completely reasonable implication that Ona did not need you. You turned your attention out the window then, watching the cityscape pass you by, focusing on the game ahead, the music playing in your ears. Mapi got the message, moving back to her spot next to Ingrid with a soft pat on your knee.
You arrived at the stadium shortly after, and you forced all thoughts of Ona out of your brain. You got ready for the game, following all of your little rituals. You'd been successful in not thinking about Ona until you left the room with Pina to get tape for your ankles from one of the medical rooms. You were laughing about something as you pushed the door open, but did not find the room empty like you had expected. Instead, Ona was sitting on the floor of the room, knees pulled to her chest, as she frantically tried to catch her breath. You and Pina fell silent, taking in the scene in front of you. Ona was so out of it, she hadn't noticed you enter.
Thinking fast, you turned to Pina, keeping your voice quiet but firm. "Go get Alexia. Don't tell anyone else anything, or she'll be embarrassed. Just get Alexia." Pina nodded, face alarmed and pale, before dashing out of the room. You moved closer to Ona, taking a careful seat on the cold floor next to her.
"Oni? Can you look at me?" You carefully reached a hand out, placing it gently on her back, and she jumped at the contact, hand snapping towards you. Her face was streaked with tears, and she was gasping for air desperately, clearly in the throes of a bad panic attack. It wasn't the first time that you'd seen her like this, and you hoped that she still responded to the things that worked 6 years ago. You also hoped she wouldn't tell you to get out before Alexia could get there.
You started to rub soft circles onto her back, and she leaned slightly into you, resting her head back on her knees. You began to talk to her, trying to bring her out of her head.
"You're okay Oni, just take your time. Slow your breathing down. Everything is ok." You spoke as soothingly as you could, but before you could really tell if what you were doing was working, the door to the room opened softly, and Alexia slipped inside, brow furrowed in concern.
Alexia looked very official in her uniform, already with the captain's armband on, and as softly as she looked at Ona as she took a spot next to her, you knew she would bring the security and authority necessary to calm Ona down.
The midfielder guided Ona's head off her knees, speaking softly to her, taking one of Ona's hands in her own, and pressing it to her chest.
"With me, Ona. Breathe with me. You're fine, we've got you, just match my breaths." Alexia could have possibly the most soothing voice in the world when she wanted to, and Ona immediately responded, fighting to slow her breathing down.
She began to calm, and you decided to slip out, and give Ona the space you assumed she'd want. As you moved to stand, however, a hand reached out, grabbing yours tightly. You looked down in surprise, seeing Ona's flushed face looking up at you. Her deep brown eyes shimmered with tears, wordlessly pleading with you to stay, and without a second thought, you sat back down, entwining your fingers with hers, and squeezing tightly.
Alexia continued to talk to her softly, her eyes occasionally lifting to glance at you, an unreadable expression on your captain's face. Once Ona's breathing had returned to normal, she sighed heavily, leaning her head back to rest against the wall.
"Sorry." She croaked out, and you opened your mouth to assure her she had nothing to be sorry for, but Alexia beat you to it.
"No, I've told you before, you never have to be sorry for this. It makes sense that you're nervous, it's your first game, but we all have complete confidence in you." Her voice was firm, and left no room to argue, as Ona nodded once. Alexia rose to her feet, and you followed, each of you offering Ona a hand, pulling her to her feet. The two of you trailed out of the room after Alexia, who seemed to have the incredible gift of knowing when 2 people needed to speak to each other alone, as she sent you a look you couldn't decipher, before speeding up and heading back into the locker room.
Ona turned to you, coming to a stop, and you noticed the that you were still holding her hand. It had felt so right, so natural, you hadn't given it a second thought. You pulled your hand away, after giving hers another squeeze, forcing yourself to meet her eyes. The hallway was empty around you, though you could hear the faint sound of you teammates, and the crown outside, every molecule in your body was focused on Ona's eyes boring into yours.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Sitting with me, and getting Alexia. Thank you, y/n." Her voice was quiet, but her eyes were determined, and you felt like you were really speaking to her for the first time in years. You decided to speak freely then, hoping that some level of honesty would make her feel better.
"Of course, Ona. I know things got... weird. And we never talked about it. But i'm your friend, i'm always gonna be here for you." You said the words gently, hoping your voice conveyed the sincerity you felt. One looked at you searchingly then, as if contemplating . You kept your gaze on hers, not allowing yourself to get distracted by the freckles that covered her face, or the way her jaw twitched as she tried to decide what to say.
"Would you maybe wanna get coffee tomorrow? At the place we used to go to? We're gonna be spending a lot of time together, and it probably makes sense if we talk." her words were hesitant, as if she wasn't really sure she should be saying them.
"Yes! Yes. I... I'd really like that." Your voice came out embarrassingly earnest, and you tried to recover, but the look on Ona's face told you that it hadn't worked. She nodded, sending you a slightly more confident smile. She raised a hand to brush over your upper arm, and you had to work hard to keep your body from shuddering at the featherlight touch.
"Good. We should go get ready though." Her smile seemed genuine, and she turned to head into the locker room. You stood in the hall for a second, replaying the light touch to your arm over and over, before you shook your head, and followed her path into the locker room.
----
part 2 will be less horribly depressing and a lot sexier i promise.
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