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theaddictspoetry · 8 months

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It's a weird feeling-

Feeling like you never belong here,

That you're not made for the world

I simply feel too much.

Words pierce at my skin,

People leave, and everything caves in.

Constant wonders,

Of what its like to be normal...

To not have to stay so busy,

Just to be sane...

Whats in my brain? Whats all this pain?

I search everywhere i go, in everyone i meet,

For a cure. An antidote.

Just something to free me,

even for just a second-

Hoping to free myself of my insanities.

@theaddictspoetry

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sporadicphilosophercupcake · 1 year

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Bottom left are active addiction to IV heroin and meth, the rest are from 5 years of hard work and recovery on my sobriety journey. I don't give myself props often, but I'm really fucking proud of me, I over came alot of terrible trauma not just in addiction, but in my teen years as well, il be , 30 this year and I'm so happy il be enjoying those years sober.

#we do recover #recovering drug addict #heroin addiction #meth addiction #5 years sober #fuck meth #fuck heroin #fuck the drugs #fuck the needles #worth every painful moment #soberAF #im fucking sober!#sobriety #NA #but i still love weed #weed isnt a drug #its a plant #fuck IV drug addiction

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transgendergoblinfromspace · 1 year

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8 days away from 2 years clean

Woot.

#recovery #personal #recovery is possible #recovery is worth it #recovering fent addict #recovering drug addict #getting clean is worth it #getting clean saved my life #recovery awareness #artist in recovery

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funstyle · 9 months

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TUMBLR POLL do you do drugs or have sex or drink alcohol or do cigarettes or anything

yeah ⬜️ 10%

NO!!! ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ 90%

93837593 votes

#didnt expect this post to get attention. before anyone tells me to kms im a recovering alcoholic and drug addict so :P #like it really doesnt matter lol.

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blushweddinggowns · 5 months

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Steddie Drunk Dialing Fluff

Steve Harrington-Munson was probably one of the happiest men to be alive in the modern era. He had the perfect life, against all odds. Because apparently having your late teens and early twenties ruined by demons equated to a fantastic adulthood.

He had it all. A loving family, the best friend/surrogate sister he could ever ask for, and he was married to the love of his life. And okay, yes. That had included some extremely embarrassing revelations and internal meltdowns and... a pretty brutal disownment. But he had figured it all out in the end. And here he was, a decade later with a ring on his finger and a nice hyphenated name. Not to mention how he was basically a trophy husband.

Eddie hadn't wasted a moment of the last decade. A symptom of almost dying it would seem. He went for the GED, gathered the band back up, moved across the country to chase his dreams and play in every shitty dive bar he could until they were discovered. All while dragging Steve along for the ride.

As much as Steve had believed in him, neither of them had been prepared for his music career actually taking off. Especially not to the level it did. It was undeniable that his husband was an A-Lister, despite how universally hated he was by half the country. You don't get many out and proud metal front man who loved parading around his high school sweetheart at every social event he could. But Europe loved him, as did the entirety of gay, rebellious youths world wide.

It was so stupid. There Eddie was, painted as an insane freak who was fake-married. With tabloids running story after story about his secret children, his drug addiction, a wife from another country, anything that they could think of. All while Eddie spent every free moment at Steve's side, always opting for a night in with his baby when given the choice. And when he wasn't doing that, he was busy playing surrogate fun uncle to the kids, who were definitly not kids anymore. But that didn't stop them from all getting together for Dungeons and Dragons once a month, hundreds and hundreds of campaign hours on everyone's belts. And that was his life. Spending time with his family, forcing them on hikes and runs, volunteering, working occasionally to help Robin with her translating work, all while coming home to the sweetest thing that ever existed.

God, did Steve love that man. Reminiscing about the love of his life while he was on tour was not helping his fretful sleep. He just... really had given him everything. He loved him so much in fact that he was only slightly pissed when he was woken up at three a.m. from the phone ringing off the hook.

Steve reached for it blindly, still half-asleep when he mumbled, "Mm-Eds?"

"Steeeeeeeeeevie," Eddie's voice slurred back at him, "Baby booooy. How's my baby boy? I miss my baby boy."

Steve smiled despite himself, yawning into the phone. Eddie was lucky he was so cute, considering how the love of his life who could not remember what time zones were, "He misses you too. And he's a little tired right now babe. What's up?"

"Day drunk," Eddie sighed, "Guys, morning show, mimosas, hotel room to sleep it off. Missing you."

"You won't be missing me for long," Steve softly laughed. Though... hearing his voice was quite the reminder of how cold the bed suddenly felt, "Just... one more week. That's not too long right?"

"Too long!" Eddie groaned, dramatic, "I miss you now. Why can't I see you now? Wait-Can I see you now? Cause planes and trains and-"

"And no," Steve interrupted with a chuckle, "You'd only get me for a few hours before you'd have to leave again."

"Worth it," Eddie mumbled out, his voice a little muffled as he tumbled around in his hotel bed, "Want my baby."

The pathetic tilt to his voice was enough to make Steve's heart clench. God he was too precious. Suddenly a red-eye in the middle of the night for a two hour make-out session didn't sound like such a bad idea. But he could be the strong one for tonight, "You have me sweetheart. Want me to stay on until you fall asleep."

"Yes please," Eddie sighed, "Love your voice. It's so... nice. Like... audible perfume. Like poetry or something."

"Oh baby you are wasted," Steve said as he laid back down, nestling the phone to his ear, "Please tell me you drank some water before laying down?"

"... maybe?"

"Babe."

"I knoooow. Keep nagging me though. I missed that too."

"Is my bitching your bed time story?"

He could hear Eddie nodding, rusting against the fabric, "And it's the best. Keep going?"

Steve rolled his eyes, but he did what he was asked. Saying every silly little grievance he could think of. He whined about how cold it was in bed without him, how Eddie had promised to take out the trash before he left and forgot. Again. How he hated how quiet it was without him, how much he missed hearing his voice trailing in and out of every room.

And Eddie listened, mumbling out a few sleepy m'sorrys and I love yous along the way. Until all Steve could hear was the slow, steady sound of his breathing. But he didn't hang up. Not when that was one of his favorite sounds in the world. And the perfect thing to fall asleep to.

Steve smiled to himself as he closed his eyes, a little amazed that Eddie could still make him feel so loved, from hundreds of miles away.

But one thing was for sure. He still had to be the happiest man on earth.

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dontmean2bepoliticalbut · 1 year

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#us politics #suicide prevention #suicidal thoughts #tw suicide #public housing #communal housing #public and subsidized housing #affordable living #living wage #standard of living #addiction therapy #recovering addicts #safe injection sites #decriminalize drugs #drug addiction #memes #social programs #social progress

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stoat-party · 2 months

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Data from Vault 95 confirms that The Chair is not a magical-fix-all-your-problems machine — at the very least, it can’t cure the psychological side of chem dependency. It’s not stated in Cait’s quest because of fo4’s aversion to loose ends, but her story definitely isn’t over. (She references this if you do drugs in front of her afterwards.)

I think the next step for Cait is going to have to be expanding her circle of trust past The Player Character (All Hail). The Sole Survivor is wonderful and their relationship is lovely, but they have a lot on their plate, what with being responsible for every political and personal issue in all of Boston.

But… the team has a former addict on it! It’s Deacon! (Unless he was lying. Honestly it’s 50-50. We’ll assume for now that he wasn’t.) We also know that Hancock is really supportive about addiction! I really like the thought that he stops doing/talking about drugs around Cait (or Mama Murphy)(or the kids for that matter). Preston and Piper aren’t bad about it either. Other companions… well, we don’t see how they handle it past the intervention stage. I’m sure they try.

If I knew more about addiction, I’d write about how Cait handles it all. But I definitely do want to write more about the companions supporting each other, because the game’s limitations leave a lot of room to explore that.

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artofkhaos404 · 6 months

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In life, I believe we are all just addicts struggling with our drug of choice.

For some, it may be actual drugs. Meth, cocaine, heroine, marijuana... whatever suits them. For others it is alcohol or cigarettes or other tobacco products.

It may be pornography. Or self harm.

I have wrestled with my drug of choice for about four years. Indulging daily or weekly. I'm accustomed to counting wins by the day.

...

Tomorrow, I'm going out with some friends to celebrate two months clean. Eventually I may relapse back into my old habits, but that's not the point. The point is proving to myself that I am able. Recovery is possible.

I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO MY DRUG.

And I'll encourage you to adopt the same mantra. These addictions and this society that fuels them? It can't hold us. We are free.

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drowningbeneath-thewaves · 1 year

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To begin to understand an addict; you have to have been one.

You have to carry the burden of that demon for yourself. Feel the weight of it bring you to your knees.

Go to war with yourself everyday; fighting; to just make it one more day.

Some days the demons are so loud they create echos in your head. Screaming for you to just give in. Just do it.

And some days, the demons let you rest. It’s almost like you’re safe, but you know you aren’t.

It takes one bad day, one unguarded moment to give the demons what they want.

To give in.

To feel the weight of the world lift off your shoulders.

Numbness taking over. No more pain.

You are once again an emotionless corpse.

Taken by the darkness,

Until we meet again darling.

#dark thoughts #depressing quotes #sad thoughts #break up #depressing poem #sad poems #deep feelings #pain poetry #hate myself #recovering addict #addiction #drug abuse

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mels-wanderland · 9 months

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Rock.

The best part about Rock bottom is the Rock part. You discover the solid bit of you. The bit that can't be broken down further. The thing that might be your soul. At our lowest we find the solid ground of our foundation. And we can build ourselves up. Renewed.

#addict in recovery #addiction #addiction recovery #alcoholics anonymous #clean and sober #drug abuse #narcotics anonymous #recovering addict #sober #sobriety #rock bottom

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coachbeards · 1 year

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honestly, i'm CONSTANTLY thinking of the port vale match that happened off screen during season 2.

beard was high...and nobody really noticed. sure, roy got the idea something must've been off but. he still didn't check in on beard. ted didn't notice. nate didn't notice. who knows if the boys even noticed. and given how beard revealed this to the diamond dogs, you can tell it's been weighing on him -- and it's something he blames himself for.

HE drank from the wrong pot. and "it won't happen again."

even though...it was jane who left out laced tea, that presumably she didn't tell beard about. because drinking from the wrong pot when one of them is laced and the other isn't...isn't exactly a whoopsy daisy mistake. he must've not even known until he'd already drank the tea. i bet he must've been really stressed out. because you can't exactly speed up a shrooms trip, or "get sober." so he just had to attend the match...and try desperately to do his job while high. and NOBODY NOTICED!!! he was right there! and yeah. his job performance must've been affected in some way, because roy DID pick it up. he pinpointed it was the port vale match. he just never checked in on beard. and he didn't tell anyone about it, not until he felt like he had to confess to get the weight off his chest. hm.

#anyways i have so many incoherent screaming thoughts about the port vale match #coach beard #ted lasso #roy kent #nathan shelley #and given brendan's headcanons that beard's a recovering drug addict...imagine accidentally consuming drugs #without knowing you're taking them. and being forced to go to a job where you have to focus and pay attention #and try your hardest not to let anybody see.#and i DOUBT jane was happy with him for wasting her tea. :(#wish ted had noticed. or that roy had said something.

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theaddictspoetry · 1 year

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you're always there for me

even when i wish you weren't

i've given you everything,

every last thing i own ,

every last piece of myself-

just to regret it and drown in self hatred

i despise you

yet i keep coming back for more

it makes no sense does it?

they wish they knew what goes on in my head,

i say i wish i understood it myself....

@theaddictspoetry

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emmmsie · 8 months

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I wanted to share this. This is my boyfriend, best friend, the love of my life, my world Justice. He’s struggled so much in his childhood and his adult life. He’s been kicked out of his home before, neglected, abused, ignored, treated like garbage and much more… his own parents have called the police on him… put him in jail before… Justice has fought substance abuse, and probably been on every drug known to man….. the picture of him on the left was him before.. 2020.. he was so depressed and the drugs were causing him to lose so much weight, motivation, and spirit in his eyes. He was almost down to 89 lbs……

The picture on the right is Justice now. :) he’s fought so hard, he’s gotten off drugs, he’s fought and fought to say no to addiction now. He’s had withdrawals, and gotten physically sick for days on end . Today he is 205 lbs, muscle, smiling more, laughing everyday, and he is definitely treated like a king!

Sometimes- it’s not about having someone who’s “already self made” sometimes you fall in love with those who need just a little help, a little more love, and more reassurance! Don’t give up on those who may struggle….. Justice went through it and now he’s doing amazing. I’m so proud of him!!!!! I wanted to share his before and after with tumblr!

Justice is currently getting a letter of recommendation written for him to go down south and is waiting to be accepted into the Phoenix House in Tampa! He is someone who has struggled with drug abuse since 2013… this will be his year to finally turn his life around and get his head back on right! He is ready for his journey to get his life together and having a second chance in life! I am so proud of him!!

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gideonisms · 10 months

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I do think that not being allowed to be a little grumpy and unreasonable in private without someone noticing would give me new unique kinds of neuroses though. I have always wished the imperial radch books examined breq's surveillance of her crew more in the later books because the common radchaii habit of being intentionally oblique/people from other places being more oblique and unreadable when talking to someone from the radch irritates breq frequently but seems to me to be the natural result of constantly being monitored. breq may be causing some of her own interpersonal issues here

#that aspect of the books has really aged. hmm i don't know if i can say well? because i wish it wasn't as relevant #but it was well observed #i think we see breq reckon with it more on the level of mourning something she's lost because it's her nature as a ship #but i'd love to hear maybe seivarden's take on constantly being monitored for emotional upheaval as someone recovering from addiction #it seems like the lack of privacy would be a major roadblock to recovering from a drug that #specifically limits your emotions (therefore your emotions won't stand out as being too intense and you'll avoid that level of scrutiny)#imperial radch

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jiinnguts · 4 months

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addy nd gabby 💊✨

#drugblr #girls who do pills #girls who do hard drugs #recovering addict #kinda #mine

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neuroticboyfriend · 3 months

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incredible how much you can irreversibly fuck up and alter your life forever in one night when you're an addict. like obviously it's not unique to us but they way we do it is truly. astonishing to me. we can have years of being clean, years of sobriety, and then something happens and changes something in us - hits our weak spots - and we're down for the fucking count in an instant. obviously there's often poor habits and mental health issues preceding that, but still. give me one night with my latest DOC and just watch me fall apart. it's insane.

a few days ago i ordered more drugs. the next day or so i decided to try and get clean. today they arrived, i stared at them for a bit, and buried them in the fucking trash before i did something i regret. one wrong move, one slip up, and i'll be rummaging through that trash desperately. i'm comforted by the fact they're still there. it's. really sad. but. i'm trying my best.

#julian rants #addiction #recovering addict #addiction recovery #drugs tw #relapse #addiction relapse #sobriety

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