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#self control
the-joy-of-knowledge · 3 months
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25 Laws of power for women
Conceal your goals especially the ones that are appealing. Losing weight, reinventing yourself, marrying wealthy. Instead talk about your altruistic goals - to help children, invest in education, this will chase insecure people with vile intentions.
Do not give anyone your source of power: Was is a book that changed your life? a mentor? a movie? Never give up your secret to success. If forced to do say allude to God, the universe, the a random phenomenon
Use the patriarchy to your favor; we live in a world that is, only associate with men who have power, use that power for good.
Never appear too perfect but be selectively vulnerable when needed. Only share something that you will be comfortable saying. You might say “I forget my keys all the time,” “I don’t know how to perfectly park a car “. But never disclose something you are not comfortable with just because you are afraid of being perfect.
Maintain distance in relationships. Friends are the best and you need them. But if you feel that they are becoming too dependent, see them at your own will. But also the reverse could be the case. Your friend may keep a distance, and that is the way of life. You have got to move on from it.
Develop your own style that makes you unique, beautiful, and elegant. Avoid trying to fit in the crowd of people who claim to care less about their style yet have too many opinions about other women’s style
Avoid male friends at all cost, you will have male colleagues, male bosses, male acquaintances, business partners. Keep it that way. You do not want a Truman Capote divulging your secrets to the world. Do not keep a man who does not fit your standard.
You do not have to win at every game. Pick and choose what is best for you and leave room for others. And step down if you have attained that level of success, do not let the society do it for you.
Trust people but remember that we are all humans. So trust with discretion!
Confuse people with kindness; people are not always comfortable with beautiful and intelligent women. That power is too intimidating so confuse them by being genuinely generous, curious, kind, and passionate.
Keep your strong opinions to yourself.. if you support a movement, a way of life, do so silently.
We all have dirty laundry, wash them privately, don’t expose yourself. Remain silent when people try to attack you or shame you. Whatever is not confirmed is not true. You are the only one who knows all the truth about you.
Don’t attract pity or praise: People who pity you do not help you, in fact they might think that you are weak and could mock you at their annual gossipping meeting. And if you are doing things for the sake of praise you are wasting your time.
Choose yourself all the time; never put any one’s feelings above yours.
Trust your own intuition if you feel someone is being malicious towards you, giving you back handed compliments then you should let them go
Never speak bad of another woman. Do not lazy around gossipping. Keep your hands clean and your conscience clear.
Avoid women with low self esteem they will bring you down. For some reason they do not like seeing other women who are doing better than them
Be careful who you seek validation from. Not everyone needs to be pleased. If they are in no way capable of contributing to your life in the ways you prefer, then don’t ask them for their opinions or please them.
Do not compete with other women, if you do you are only putting them on a pedestal. You are making the the standard by which you measure your progress. If you do compete, begin digging your grave.
Do not give unsolicited advice, do not share the inner workings of your mind, If your mouth is very charitable you better start journaling.
Be well-rounded and interesting. It attracts people. It also keeps you busy because you are continually improving and learning. An idle mind is an easily subdued one.
Avoid women who want to live vicariously through you; they want to know who you know, shop where you shop, befriend who you befriend, wear what you wear.
Pay attention to the source of your discomfort; get rid of them. You tell them your dreams and they remind you of all your hindrances. They ask why are you dressed so fancy as though fancy isn’t subjective. They undermine you interests and goals. They will also be quick to bring you down because they are afraid of your potential.
Do not fear power or please power. When we see powerful people we try to hard to befriend them, to be close to them but you need to be comfortable without them. Don’t push yourself in the name of friendship, do not try too hard to be in their inner circle. Your independence of mind is the most important. Instead become a powerful woman, aloof to the presence of power but aware of its importance. Be an ingenious and intelligent and use your creativity to uplift yourself. When you do so it will be hard to ignore you. Even the powerful will become an ally.
Enjoy moments of solitude. Use that time to develop yourself, improve your body, learn new skills, create with your mind, read widely, become more elegant, then launch yourself.
Remember the most powerful women are the most intelligent. Inspired by Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power. Use at your discretion.
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justcatposts · 1 year
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Practicing self control 
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prettieinpink · 5 months
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SELF VALIDATION
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First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness. 
E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself. 
VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth. 
SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test. 
BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily. 
BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.
AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.
STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.
SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.
DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor. 
KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority. 
OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day. 
BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret. 
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free-my-mindd · 4 months
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Once you master self control and detachment nobody can phase you.
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libraalynn · 5 months
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selfhealingmoments · 1 year
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pleaseeeimjustagirl · 4 months
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Weekly Affirmations
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♡ I am the creator of my own happiness. I’m ready to take responsibility and do what it takes to start living my dream life.
♡ I’m going to only focus on things I can control and let go of worry about the rest.
♡ 2024 is a year of wonderful surprises, good decisions, and creative solutions.
♡ I am creating financial abundance, a healthy body, and positive relationships in 2024.
♡ This year is going to be a great and wonderful year for me.
♡ This year, my dreams are coming true.
♡ I am dedicated to becoming my higher self this year.
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mrs-trophy-wife · 7 months
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You are the master of your thoughts; your thoughts are not the master of you. Master your thoughts and you master your life.
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pratchettquotes · 5 months
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"One has to move with the times, of course," said the Patrician, shaking his head.
"We tend not to, over the road," said Ridcully. "It only encourages them."
"People do not understand the limits of tyranny," said Vetinari, as if talking to himself. "They think that because I can do what I like I can do what I like. A moment's thought reveals, of course, that this cannot be so."
"Oh, it is the same with magic," said the Archchancellor. "If you flash spells around like there's no tomorrow, there's a good chance that there won't be."
Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
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the-joy-of-knowledge · 3 months
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Common Sense for women in their 20s
Define your raison d'être
Journal regularly, in fact daily
Figure out the right hairstyle for you
Buy clothes that fit your body type
Learn to do you own makeup if you'd like to wear it
Observe, observe, observe
Try to participate in the society
Know that not everything is within your control
Do not live in fantasy or fear, they are distractions
Read books
Learn to form you own opinion
Do not force friendships
Do not stress the small stuff
Spend time getting to know your self
Know women's history & History and use it to your advantage
Have some intellectual rigor
Create your own community
Find a third space
Take your vitamins
Your wellbeing and wellness should be your priority
Have role models for every area of your life
Have discretion
Do not be quick to anger
Have mentors and be a mentor to others
Your social skills will take you far
Be responsible, the world is not so forgiving to women
Know when to stand out
Know when to fit in
Curate your life to fit your goals and desires
Understand strategy and how best to use it to your advantage
Get acquainted with what maks the world go round
You have to climb socially
You need allies in areas where you want to win
Be kind
Be content with what you have, otherwise you will pay the price
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loveyourlovelysoul · 8 months
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sometimes while healing or being triggered or even just being in pain, we focus so much on what is causing our problem, that we forgot that we're not just that. we're much more than anxiety, adhd, our cptsd or anything else. we're more than our pain. we don't start not stop there. the more we focus on our issue and what we lack, the less we pay attention to what we already are and have, and let it slid away from us. being present and taking breaks from healing, is also about this, about coming back to your whole self.
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thejessc0de · 11 months
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Geto beach day 
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prettieinpink · 5 months
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How do I stop doing something that kinda turned into an addiction ? I try and stay off of it for about two days and then I feel like I have to go back and every time I tell myself it’s the last time
Sorry if my English is not good it’s not my first language 🤎🤎
your english is good.
HEALING FROM AN ADDICTION
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MAKE IT INCONVENIENT. Place any barriers that you can that make you struggle to access your addiction. 
JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP. Either meeting in real life or online can put things in perspective for you that motivate you to quit.
HAVE A GOAL. Do you want to be more faithful to your religion? Do you want to be there for your loved ones, instead of the other way around? Do you want to advance in your career? Tie the decision of quitting to a goal you are motivated to achieve.
ASK YOURSELF WHY? What does this addiction provide with me in life that I am so inclined to go back to despite it not aligning with what I want? Is there anything else that can replicate the same feeling but not as self-destructive?
REMOVE TEMPTATIONS. Anything in your environment that gives you easy access to that addiction, or motivates you to be inclined to it, you need to extract it without looking back. 
SLOWLY CEASE IT. Do not just randomly go cold turkey on an addiction, because you are going to go back to it every time. I know this sounds weird, but just slowly decrease the use of it or set certain dates when you allow yourself to, and just keep decreasing it until you’ve built up the discipline. 
DISTRACT YOURSELF. Fill up your timetable and schedules to the absolute brim. This doesn’t have to be going out activities, but rather tasks that you need or want to do at home.
COPING STRATEGIES FOR CRAVINGS. This can be similar to the feeling that addiction gives you, a reminder as to why you want to quit or take preventative measures so you do not want to give in. 
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cooki3face · 6 months
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wounded feminine energy vs wounded masculine energy:
Wounded feminine will struggle primarily with feelings of unworthiness that will present itself in a lot of different ways but wounded feminine energy may include things like:
issues with control and manipulation : stepping outside of her feminine energy and her home energy of recieving and trying to push and pull things into fruition or to go in the direction she sees fit and often for personal gain. This may present in her relationships with others, manipulating her friends, manipulating her partners, manipulating strangers. May be dishonest, deceitful, or deceptive.
low self worth & self esteem: she’s unable to make good decisions on who she chooses to be around and what she allows, may fall into a habit of people pleasing, may struggle with internalized misogyny, may be boy crazy or blow her entire life up for male validation or male presence, may constantly speak negatively upon herself and upon others. May victimize herself often or be prone to feeling “sorry” for herself, may also be heavily emotionally unstable or consumed by her emotions to the point where she’s constantly at high points of emotional distress. She has no boundaries, she’s desperate for love, she’s obsessive in a way where it comes from a place of lack or a void.
Vindictive,bitter, and jealous: falls right in hand with low self worth and self esteem, projecting all her fears and jealousy onto others especially other women. Always out to get someone, always picking on someone, always attempting to humiliate or tear someone apart.
over-giving: falls right into people pleasing but a feminine who may be over giving may not know how to or be unable to protect her energy, her power, her divinity and her “soft feminine”, she may become over-giving, over nurturing, overly empathetic to the point where she pours too much of herself (from a raw and authentic pool of her energy) into others. this comes hand in hand with my post about a feminine needing a divine counterpart who is conducive to her energy and is safe and giving so that when she’s in her most vulnerable state her energy won’t go to waste.
Shame and guilt: ashamed of her body, ashamed of her sensuality, ashamed of her femininity, ashamed of what it takes to protect herself from others, guilty for putting herself first, guilty for being in her power, guilty for recieving what she rightfully deserves, etc. etc. falls hand in hand with what I spoke about briefly about how purity culture and certain aspects of culture and life may supress one’s feminine nature and identity and ability to connect with self.
Intuitive and expressive: she’s in touch with her intuition, she’s strong and in tune, truth is clear and she lives in her truth. She lives an honest life, is honest with herself and with honors, shows up as an authentic version of herself in spirit. She’s creative, she inspires others instead of picking them apart or leading them astray.
Consumed by emotions: she’s angry, she’s aggressive, she’s emotionally consumed or disturbed, she’s violent, always fighting people, doesn’t have effective problem solving or communication skills outside of violence or conflict. Is always involved in conflict, is always involved in drama, befriends people with the intention of constantly being in the center of an issue or being aware of an issue, nosy and cunning. If she’s jealous and bitter she expresses it heavily.
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Wounded masculine will struggle primarily with how he sees himself, honoring his heart space, and what it means to be masculine or a man. This is not a new issue, it’s as old as time, wounded masculine may exude behaviors like:
overly competitive and combative: masculine may have a tendency to try to out compete others, regardless of sex or gender. He competes with women, he competes with men. He used envy and insecurity to fuel these urges to compete with others. He wants to be the biggest all the time, he wants to be the most successful, the most important, the most looked at, etc. etc. there’s nothing wrong with these desires when they come from a place of self love and growth, there is an issue when they come from the ego and his desire is to push others out of their rightful place or consume the energy of others to make himself larger. Or he needs to be right and he’s argumentative. He may be prone to having narcissistic traits or a narcissistic personality type, he may have an inflated ego or sense of importance. Constant inner and outer conflict, he’s displeased with himself, he’s displeased with what there’s, he’s always fighting, always arguing, always involved in some sort of altercation.
Abusive and angry: he has a tendency to communicate with physical violence or is unable to solve problems effectively. He has a desire to hurt others to make himself feel stronger or more powerful or feel validated and respected. Constant inner and outer conflict, he’s displeased with himself, he’s displeased with what there’s, he’s always fighting, always arguing, always involved in some sort of altercation.
controlling and/or possessive: controlling in plenty of areas, in his relationships, in career, in life. Reflects a masculine whose not confident in his ability to be loved and admired, not confident in his ability to make a difference or take action that will push things forward or into fruition in a genuine and meaningful manner. A possessive masculine is a masculine who has a strong desire to consume things rather than enjoy them and allow them to flourish. Especially in his relationships, he may attempt to “squash” his partner, keep them from stepping into their power, keep them from doing well, he may have a tendency to view his partners and counterparts as objects to be had or to be owned rather than to be appreciated or as an energy that is complimentary and adds to his value or divinity. This goes hand and hand with what I spoke about briefly about men in relationships with successful women who try to trap them with pregnancy at the height of their careers or try to minimize their success. He’s overly critical of others and overly critical of himself on an internal level. May be prone to picking up misogynistic tendencies and views, he picks on women, he degrades them, he feels the need to tell them what to do and what’s acceptable.
Manipulative: again. A masculine who doesn’t think he’s truly capable of making an impact, a masculine who doesn’t believe he’s capable of truly being loved or doesn’t believe he has enough value to be stayed with in his relationships. A masculine who may have a tendency to see others as below him or as pawns.
over-preforming or overcompensating: am i man enough? Am I doing enough? Will they look at me or admire me enough? He tries too hard to be “masculine”, is afraid to stray away from masculine stereotypes, bullies and takes out aggression towards men who don’t fit the mold that he’s been conditioned to believe is what masculinity or being a real man looks like. Leads him to being controlling, resentful, aggressive and violent in a lot of cases. Resents others who live in their truth and live authentically despite judgment and rejection, tries to squash or push down others who go against what he’s been conditioned to believe is right or wrong, ends up pushing people away or ruining a lot of his relationships and his connections because he’s unable to find the courage to be who he is from an authentic stand point and he’s angry because he always feels like he has to preform and conform. And bro is definitely the lgbtq police and the “that’s gay asf” guy in the back who nobody asked an opinion from. He’s overly critical of others and overly critical of himself on an internal level. May be prone to picking up misogynistic tendencies and views, he picks on women, he degrades them, he feels the need to tell them what to do and what’s acceptable.
Unable to feel emotions/disconnected from self: unable to communicate and communicate effectively, he doesn’t understand himself and therefore can’t understand others, has a tendency to resort to anger or shutting down or running from things when he’s feeling triggered or being coaxed out of his shelf or is required to open up and be vulnerable. He’s guarded and closed off, he’s defensive, he struggles with an avoidant attatchment style, he’s afraid of being seen, he’s afraid of true intimacy, he’s afraid of being perceived in general and perceived as being soft or emotional. He doesn’t want to talk about his feelings because he’s conditioned not to and it’s difficult. He’s stagnant, he’s unable to grow, he’s unable to learn hard emotional lessons. Repressed his feminine energy or actively represses it and this goes hand and hand with overcompensating and over preforming.
Unstable: unstable, unsupportive, unsafe physically and emotionally. He can’t create a safe space for you, for others, or himself emotionally or physically and he will not.
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