#i know i shouldnt do it but everything hurts and my heart is beating too hard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourlovermumu · 11 months

Text

yandere!husband who loves you so much that all he has ever wanted is to make you his wife and have you by his side forever.

he just really loves you. and the fact that he gets to come home to his pretty little wife greeting him with a ‘’welcome home honey!’’ makes his heart beat against his ribcage so loud that his almost sure you heard it too.

at first it was a little hard for him to get used to all this. you greeting him with a hug and a warm smile when he comes home, cooking him delicious food, feeding him with your own hands from time to time, cuddling him, and the fact that he gets to see your face first thing in a morning when he wakes up.

yandere!husband can hardly keep up with everything without blushing like crazy from the littlest things. poor man just loves his girl so much.

so it shouldnt come as a surprise when he just cant take things anymore sometimes and ends up fucking you like a dog in heat near the closest surface he can find.

its still hard for him to process sometimes that your his, he gets to have you, you agreed to be his forever. and his so grateful for it.

and he just loves to come home to you in the kitchen with an apron on, cooking him delicious food.

theres just something about you in an apron..that drives him insane.

just coming home to his pretty little wife in an apron..wow

he would come behind you and hug you securely from behind while your stirring the food. burying his face in the crook of your neck, sniffing it a little to inhale your scent. ‘’mhm...you smell so good sweetie..’’ he whispers as he places soft, gentle kisses on your neck that tickle you.

you giggle at his kisses as you tell him to stop but he just smiles and pouts with a ‘’no baby, let me give you my love’’ he says as he continues trialing kisses from your neck to your shoulder. slipping your shirt down on one shoulder where his trailing down kisses. he eventually starts biting you softly.

‘‘love, whats gotten into you- mh- ah..your..uhm..please wait till the the food is done baby.’‘

he doesnt say anything, just keeps kissing, biting and licking your tender skin.

you reach your hand behind to grab his hair to somehow pull him away. and it does seem to work as he lifts his head up and comes to whisper in your ear, ‘’sweetie, dont be so cruel to your husband, dont deny my love and affection. it hurts me’’ he says with a fake pout.

you sigh at his behavior, ‘’mhm, sorry love, i just need to get this done, you dont wanna eat burnt food now do you?’’ as much as you wanna give in you cant possibly do so when your cooking, you would hate to feed your dear husband brunt food after all.

his hands stay wrapped on your waist as he hums, as if his considering it. but then a smirk quickly makes its way to his lips. as he licks your earlobe and then whispers, ‘’then..why dont you just turn the stove off and give me a little of your time darling? just for a bit, i promise. wont keep you for long baby.’’ he says as he places gentle feather kisses on your neck again. trying to slowly convince you.

you gulp, trying to fight the little voice in you head that tells you to just give him what he wants. ‘’can’t you wait a bit longer baby?’’

‘‘can’t, can’t wait anymore baby.’‘ he responds

‘‘been thinking about you all day.’‘ he says as he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck.

‘‘do you know what seeing you in this cute little apron is doing to me baby? do you know what its making me want to do?’‘ he asks as he flips you around, lifting you up into the kitchen counter. as he leans in close to your face. both his hands on either sides of your thighs ‘’hm?’’

you shake your head at his question. he chuckles when you do so. ‘’guess baby, guess’’ he says with a smile, waiting for you continue.

‘‘its..making you really needy..isnt it, love?’‘ you ask, giggling.

‘‘thats right baby, its making me so, so needy...its making me want to..take everything off besides the apron.. thats what its making me want to do.’‘ he says sternly.

he smiles when he sees you flustered by what he said, a small chuckle leaves his lips, ‘’and tell you what’’ he pauses to look right into your eyes before speaking again, ‘’i dont think you’d stop me’’

‘‘aahh-! ah-! wait-! mh-mhmm..’‘ you moan as your left hand tightens on his hair. pulling and tugging it. but his not moving an inch. his too lost in pleasure to just stop and give you a moment to breathe. this whole moment, situation, is so amazing to him he cant possibly just stop. especially right when your about to cum again.

‘‘make a mess of my face baby...dont hold back.’‘ he says as he moans into your pussy. sending vibrations through your cunt and making you shiver.

‘‘gonna cum...’am gonna cum-!’‘ you warn as tears spill down your cheeks.

yandare!husband only hums with his face stuffed between your thighs as he sucks and licks your pussy messily with two fingers stuffed into you. his cock twitching and leaking in his boxers from your screams, moans, and whines. everything about you is just so beautiful to him.

it doesnt take long before your squirting on his face without a second warning. he tries to take every second drop inside his mouth desperately, like his a starving man. he licks you clean as he holds both your thighs apart.

‘‘so sexy...i didnt know you could squirt like that..’‘ he chuckles as he looks up at your face. such a fucking mess you’ve become. your huffing and panting with sweat drenching your face.

#yandare #yandare smut #smut #jujutsu kaisen #gojo smut #gojo #nanami #nanami smut #toji #toji smut #sukuna #sukuna smut #OBEY ME #obey me smut #one piece smut #diavolo smut #mammon smut #satan smut

2K notes · View notes

smileymoth · 7 days

Text

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

#moth post #ed tw #sh tw

3 notes · View notes

thecherrygod · 3 years

Text

#my posts #look. this is gonna be a #vent #so like. i dont really recommend anyone reads it really #but i dont think just. swallowing this is gonna be good for me bc i think im about to. idk. like i feel like shit so yeah #ok i think thats enough. if youre reading this you probably had to expand my tags. not forcing this into anyone so i can just. go on #. lately stuff has been. shit. i mean my mental health. im having trouble dealing with this. i guess i just need to properly break down but #i cant even just cry wether i want to or no. and man i want to usually like sometimes im going on about my day ans i just wanna cry #simply bc im alive and exist and have to keep living a life and im tired i guess. everything is tiring and i feel like im not living really #but you just keep going until you break right?so thats what i do i guess.trying to keep my shit together and not really sure if im. managing #and man i feel like im so close to start up on the unhealthy coping mechanisms idk how ive been avoiding it lmao #also apparently but not surprisingly the scent of burnt wood is a trigger for me! a new knowledge #having it means nothing tho! bc i cant stop people outside from stuff like that and not people at homd either but at home it shouldnt be #that often i guess but. but man i. guess what i mean is that i feel like when i went to the grocery store and felt that scent on the street #i just had to fight myself the entire time at the store to not get a lighter so i could burn some wood skewers i have in my room #and to then do that to myself. guess bad habits die hard. or dont die at all. but. fuck. i havent done that in. years.but now my chest hurts #anw my heart is beating too fast and im surprised im not exactly shaking but i feel. like shit. like i can usually handle feeling this bad #but everythings currently just.too much?and i dont really know what to do about it besides not allowing myself stuff like buying the lighter #ans like. i should feel proud i didnt do it right? but instead it just makes me feel.. worse. this is. stupid. and pathetic. man.#ugh yeah i guess this is it. i dont really feel better but idk what else to do about it so i guess thats it. i hope this is the last i post #about todays mental breakdown #lmao imagine being mentally stable. gonna go try to not think for a while or just check stuff online or whatever bye myself and this post

4 notes · View notes

cherrysnax · 4 years

Text

yes i do the cooking. yes i do the cleaning yes i keep my heart on my sleeve regardless of the fact that everytime i do everything goes wrong not only for myself but for the people i care about the most and that trying to avoid my problems actually just makes me seem like a distant asshole

#hm. my heart has been essentially thrown through the gutter about a million times by this point. and yet i will not stay down.#just about everything that could happen has happened and yet. it beats on #should i just. stop trying? it doesnt want to but god do i.#everyone is hurting and i cant help. the people i love the most #the person i lovef the most.. and i cant do anything but cry and slide #i want to be an unfeeling rock so people can cry on my shoulder #i wont want or need anything in return #i want to help. i cant do this anymore if i cant help #i cant do this anymore of it hurts this bad.. ugh whatever #👓.txt #everybody is hurting and trying to be dtrong and im just. making it all worse. i dont have much to keep me going anymore and i need to be #strong for the rest pf the system but this hurts more than i thougjt it woulf #it feels like half of my heart has been stolen. ripped from me in the dead of night and teleported to some other galaxy #and i know im being dramatic. im bot a real person my feelings shouldnt matter #i didnt have much of a choice but i kinda sucked at this whole best friend thing ahaha #god fuckibg damn it #its gonna be FINE. everything will be fine. everything has to be fine for jaah and frankie #we‘ll hhave to make do w pictures and tweets and old written things and memories for acwhile #helped me with nat lol. everyone has each other and concrete memories.. i have..always changing memories and like. sev but this is a dumb #thing to talk about.. everyone else od so strong. and im just. crying like a child. i need to be strong too. im tired off being strong #i want to be aböe tp be sad that hes gone. loved him b4 i knew what love was..#at least before when people hurt i could do sonethibg about it. be there or sumn but now all i can do is b useless and cry #all ive done since ive formed is cry in the bathroom. i think thats pretty iconic of me #gif #bro i dont wanna feel anymore. not for a long time #specs.txt

14 notes · View notes

warmau · 3 years

Text

love struck!au x tbz

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez *this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you

then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building

he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing

and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him

if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two

it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date

the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around

and you’re like wh-

and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes

once again you are like ?

and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like

let me step in and translate:

sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow

when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you

not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like

nah

if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it

and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome

even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people

and jacob is just like *blinks*

but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible

which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-

juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?

you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times

polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual

that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too

until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a

nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-

three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak

but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint

younghoon

keeps his mouth shut

literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you

he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause

chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____

until you walk out of the room and then he’s like

“-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”

and chanhee is like what the hael just happened

you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1

he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears

maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you

but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing

sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him

but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-

you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you

so you apologize for bothering him

and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window

because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying

“no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”

it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him

and you are so flustered but all you can say back is

“you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want...........”

younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you

you: giddy

tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again

hyunjae

there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE

and it comes at full force

hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you

sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him

it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming

and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested

but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny

and he sprawls across your lap like a cat

happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you

really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around

and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special

and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them

and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!

and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything

or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance

“if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”

juyeon

return to kindergarten romance

literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them

and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls

if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere

but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to

but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever

everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes

and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion

and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?

and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that

maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah

its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago

and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

gift giving

nonstop gift giving

like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits

but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you

and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own

and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-

all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of

he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it

and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t

you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you

and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return”

and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats

and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious

and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me

and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want

and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute

(but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work

much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off

no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is

and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one

because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands

less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like

he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath

his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics

its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you

laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side

GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP

the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him

like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you

and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like

“don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”

and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything

and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like

“AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it

you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me

and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first

and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out

honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling

and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?

and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?

and chanhee crosses his arms like no......but like......i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns

tbz: :/

either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you

so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention

and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him

and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee

till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait

and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much

and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like

“oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”

inside he is screaming

haknyeon

does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan

for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone

its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around

haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress

it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop

haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you

and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-

either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time

he does not prepare for what actually happnes

which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!

and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait

haknyeon.exe has stopped working

because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be

so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and.........no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings

jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3

sunwoo: ok nerd........keep it moving

and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind

sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?

everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him

but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend

and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE

he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours

and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :(

to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything

you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?

it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change

for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like

all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like

well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes

both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy

one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch

kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash

eric

thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend

for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it

but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves

and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place

so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman

who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested

and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz

and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute

and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric

and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?

and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on

and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?

and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have

and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like

i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

#the boyz au #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz au #tbz imagines #member: the boyz #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz #sfw #the way younghoon is the ideal man: nothing to say just heart eyes in a stupor JK trgkdls

1K notes · View notes

heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

'Siri Am I Having a Stroke?’ Sofia the First

Soulmate!Daichi x Reader Soulmate!Tendou x Reader

a/n: lmao, yall finna know what kind of soulmate au this

when your soulmate gets hurt, you kinda get hurt too

the music your soulmate listens to or constantly sings is always playing in your head

request: Can I request a daichi, tendou, and aone soulmate au headcanon 🤲🏽😩 they're my faves, I wanted to add some more but there could be a limit? I'll request again next time ^^

a/n: sorry anon but ill only do daichi and tendou bc im not very familiar with aone :( but theres not really a limit so go ahead!!

requests open!!

so anyways

for most of your life, you thought you didnt even have a soulmate

there were no scars, no bruises,

nothing

this other half of yours was completely silent and you really thought that youd die forever

but, you

you were a wild chile and you were the type to go playing outside w your brothers and get a lot of cuts

maybe that was why you thought you didnt have a soulmate bc when your soulmate does get hurt, you wouldnt see it since youd think it was one of your own

now, daichi

he worried for you

new scars and bruises would appear on his arms overnight and he fussed over the fact that you would constantly getting hurt

were you in a toxic environment?

were these intentional?

but he would try and heal them, thinking that it would heal you too bc he didnt want you to be hurt

uwu daichi luv

he would even kiss them better bc his mom told him that kisses help them heal faster

then,

during middle school, daichi found his love for volleyball

he started training and being more active and that caused him a lot of bruises and pain

meanwhile w you,

youve mellowed out a bit

so when you entered middle school,

you were actually ecstatic to find that you had a soulmate bc you would find bruises on your hands and arms

you found out the afternoon of the first day of middle school

daichi was in the gym, practicing during lunch, and he hit a spike that bruised his fingers and he received a really powerful ball

you were sitting in class, completely bored out of your mind so you just doodled on your paper

then you flinched at the sudden pain and saw the formation of the beautiful mix of blue, purple,green, bruise

yall are in different schools btw

you shrieked and stood up, cutting off your teacher and surprising everyone in the room

‘my soulmate!’

they were like, ‘okay and?’

the entire day, you admired the colors, not even minding the hurt bc this was it!!

!!!!

your soulmate was real!!!

but daichi was worried that you were also going through the same pain and soreness from practice

and you were

after the shock and happiness of knowing you in fact do have a soulmate,

youve started getting annoyed

was this what he felt whenever you injured yourself during your younger years?

bc this waas annoying

you were constantly fatigued, tired, sore

even the mere action of getting up in the morning sucked and you actually fell down the stairs due to the soreness of your legs and you dropped your chopsticks due to the hurt in your fingers

youve concluded that your soulmate was either an athlete or in a toxic environment

during the walk to school, you raised your arms and watched a new bruise forming

it was a truly beautiful sight but the stiffness and hurt weighed it down

this was your only form of communication with your soulmate and you were sad bc you wanted to be there for him and help heal his bruises and scars

one of your friends suggested a crazy thought of hurting yourself to write a small message which you instantly turned down bc thats too crazy and you will not do that

as the years went on, you were starting to get more worried each day that you wont be meeting your soulmate soon

for almost 6 years, youve wandered over to every athletic club in your school or nearby schools to find if there was even a person who had the same bruises as you

ngl, some lied just bc they wanted you as their soulmate uwu

one of your classmates in seijoh, iwaizumi hajime, has understood your dilemma since he was one of the ones youve expressed this concern to

youve been classmates for 3 years and youve always been coincidentally sat next to each other so youre close

i really cant resist my mans

‘y/n, i really think your soulmate is a volleyball player’

you rolled your eyes as you continued taking out your bento

‘iwa, ive checked your team, multiple times, and none of them are my soulmate! ive even checked other schools too since my brothers have connections there. but still nothing’

he felt bad for you, truly

he already found his when yall started high school, almost immediately, and you were so jealous

‘but those bruises on your arm can only be from volleyball. the way its placed, its like receiving an intense ball while the fingers might be because he spikes the ball’

you sighed before leaning your chin on your hand

‘okay, great buddha iwa-chan. enlighten me as to why you think so’

his eye twitched at the ridiculous nickname

‘y/n, im a volleyball player. ive been playing since i was like 6 and im the ace. i have those same exact bruises’

‘WHAT! IWA-CHAN ARE YOU MY SOULMATE?!’

‘YOU IDIOT I ALREADY HAVE MINE!’

but you mulled it over for a few days

yea, it would make sense, right?

but it still doesnt add up that youve literally visited every single club around with the help of being iwa’s friend and going to their matches

however,

due to karasuno not having practice matches w seijoh or not advancing far enough to play against them, youve never really interacted with that team

besides, the times they actually played against each other, youve been busy due to having to do interships, part time jobs, and studying since it was your last year of high school

it was during the second interhigh that iwa finally got you to go watch them play

‘come on, y/n. shittykawa misses you and matsun and maki keep demanding your support’

‘iwa, what-’

so you found yourself at the stands, just watching the games until seijoh actually plays

then you saw the team, known as karasuno, enter the gym to start their warm-ups

your heart started beating really fast and you were kinda freaking out bc what was happening

‘siri am i having a stroke?’

daichi was feeling the same thing

he thought it was just the adrenaline of playing a game but in all of his years of play8ing volleyball, he hasnt felt this intense beating of his heart

he even had to lean on suga for support bc it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest

‘daichi, you okay?’

suga worriedly asked and placed a hand on his forehead to check his temp

daisuga rights yall

he didnt want to worry the team so he nodded, just waving it off

he was captain so he shouldnt worry the others

oikawa and iwa entered the stands and were confused as to why you were looking around with wide eyes like an owl

fukurodani vibes

‘y/n-chan, what’s wrong?’

oikawa asked and you looked at them, surprised and shocked

they were lowkey freaked out bc what was happening

‘oikawa-san, my heart-’

you mumbled and pointed to your chest

his smile wobbled bc you just started at him and it was starting to scare him a bit

since oikawa hasnt found his soulmate yet, he wasnt familiar with the feeling of being in the same vicinity as his other half

but iwa did

and he was smiling

‘you owe me so much, y/n’

‘IWA! I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO DIE!’

karasuno was going against johzenji and daichi wasnt exactly in his best game

to others, he looked like he was doing great but he wasnt feeling good and the beat of his heart was still very fast

this distraction caused him and tanaka to collide and everything went to hell

the entire time, your arms were crying and you were just sweating from the pain but you were also sweating w the possibility of your soulmate being either in johzenji or karasuno

but that was answered when daichi got hurt and you just collapsed, also falling unconscious

iwa, who returned from getting drinks, ran to your slumped form and oikawa, who was focused on the match and didnt notice, shrieked at your unconscious form

‘y/n? y/n, wake up’

everyone in the stands stared at your unconscious form and they started talking, eventually catching the attention of the karasuno team

suga, who was fussing over daichi, heard that a girl also fell unconscious

omg what if

oikawa was grinning at the sight of your bruised cheek bc you finally found your soulmate so you would shut up about it

iwa carried you to the nurse and you actually woke up as he placed you on the bed, conviently beside the karasuno captain

‘w-what-’

but he only smiled

‘congratulations, y/n’

bih what

congratulations for what

the nurse went over from beside daichi and she giggled at the meeting of soulmates

you sat up, wincing at the pain in your tooth

‘ow’

that caught daichi’s attention and he stared at you and your arms before looking at his

they were the exact same

‘i think,,,, i think we’re soulmates’

that made you quickly look at him and noticed the big bruise on his face that was like copy paste on you

‘oh god!’

you cowered and had your hands over your mouth in surprise

he froze, starting to feel insecure that he wasnt what you wanted

‘is something wrong-’

‘you’re HOT!!’

you shrieked unconsciously and when you finally realized it, you hurriedly pulled the blanket over your form

lmao gurl noooooo

daichi started laughing and he thought you were cute

straightforward

but cute

‘oi, come on. i want to see your pretty face’

yes police officer. this is the man who stole my uwus

you peaked your head out from your blanket cocoon and he smiled softly

‘i’m sawamura daichi, by the way. 3rd year’

‘l-l/n y/n. same y-year’

‘so? you expected me to be this?’

you shook your head

‘i mean, iwa told me you could be a volleyball player. but i didnt expect the universe to like me enough to give me a greek god as my soulmate’

im disowning y/n yall

he turned flustered and looked away to hide his blush

‘youre not too bad yourself, you know. youre actually more beautiful than i thought’

‘sir! dont say that to me i be catching feelings way too fast for that!’

i-i cannot w you

he laughed out loud before wincing, causing you to wince too

‘but are you okay, though? i mean,, it must hurt’

but you shook your head

‘i should be asking you that. does it hurt as much as it looks?’

‘nah, its bearable’

you continued talking about your childhood and you actually clarified that you were just rambunctious when you were younger so you got hurt pretty often

‘i really thought you needed to be saved or something’

you smirked

‘oh? my prince charming? knight-in-shining-armor? knight prince daichi?’

he stared at you, a blush creeping up again

‘are you always this bold?’

you shrugged

‘meh. im friends w oikawa tooru’

‘oh. makes sense’

lmao

you both completely forgot about the fact that his face literally got hurt and his tooth was gone bc you have been talking like two best friends who got separated

but you had to separate at some point too

the beautiful manager entered the clinic and asked if daichi was okay enough

‘yea, im fine. i can go now, i guess’

you nodded sadly

‘okay. bye, daichi’

he furrowed his eyebrows

‘but wait for me later, okay? ill treat you to something after i win this match’

from your bed, you crossed your arm with a smug smile

‘oh? youre confident, captain’

‘of course. ill win bc this victory is for you’

you bashfully smiled and chuckled

‘go hurry and win! i expect that date as soon as possible, captain!’

the deadchi memes are literally scaring the new fans and i feel really bad

bruh hes so cute for what

for his entire life, he had the sofia the first song stuck in his head

it was maybe bc his soulmate was in love w that show or just in love w the song

but either way, he constantly hears it and thinks about it

meanwhile you,

you constantly heard bye bye bye by nsync

of all things, it had to be a boy band

however, you were lucky bc for years it varied on what song would be playing

but for him, it continued to be sofia the first

this drived him to watch the show and he did see the appeal and soon, he started singing it too

omg its such a bop

you were triggered bc the song then switched over to sofia the first and you were like, ‘does he like it too?’

you would be going around the store, holding your mom’s hand, and singing it out loud, hoping to find your soulmate

but he never seemed to hear it

instead, hearing the song in your voice, instead of the show’s

he thought you had such a beautiful voice

then in elementary school, his bullying started and ngl, he was actually hurt by the words other kids said

he still had his cute smile on and acted like it didnt bother by teasing others but he was still sad

did nobody like him?

was he always going to look like a monster?

would you be revolted if you saw him?

then he heard this song in the radio ‘dear insecurity’ and he just couldnt help but keep listening to it

ofc you noticed and you were sad that he was listening to such sad song

he was insecure and you couldnt do anything about it

then you started looking up motivating songs and you started singing the one that you really liked

‘i see your monsters, i see your pain, tell me your problems, i’ll chase them away’

he heard your voice as he was hiding behind the school building and his tears instantly stopped, hearing a different song but he couldnt help but smile

he knew that song was for him

you were out there somewhere and a complete stranger to him but you were the only person who seemed to care

because under that teasing and cheerful personality, he was still human and he was very insecure about himself

but you were always there to encourage him, your voice instantly chasing all the fears away

when he started playing volleyball, he became famous for his efficient blocks and you could hear him singing different songs, all of them just under a minute

you concluded that they were his own songs

sometimes, you laughed bc they were funny songs and catchy so you would memorize it and sing it back to him

this was your only way of communicating back of forth and you were so lucky that you even got to hear your soulmate’s voice

then high school started, meaning your friends started meeting their soulmates one by one until you were the only one who didnt

your school, karasuno, had no one that had the same voice as your soulmate’s

some people even saw you as an extrovert and a people person since you started conversations with strangers easily but this was just your way of finding your other half

with no luck, you started singing your concerns

in no time, ‘thousand miles’ was playing on loop in tendou’s head and he was already feeling your antsy attitude

in retaliation, he starts singing ‘lucky’ by jason mraz and you always turned red, slightly happy that he was practically calling out to you

so even though you suffered through years being alone, you didnt give up on hope and continued your search

now, youd be asking, ‘why cant you or tendou just sing each other’s location?’

yes, young grasshopper, there is an explanation to that

you and tendou collectively agreed to let fate do its work and just wait for the time it happens bc if its meant to be, its meant to be

besides, tendou likes to tease you and he wants to make you wait for him so that the moment you do meet, it would become more special

in your last year of high school, you ended up helping kiyoko in being manager and you were so proud of these boys for making it to the finals

you were excitedly waving an orange flag in support of your team and you screamed with the others as they entered the court

you and yacchi ended up helping tanaka’s sister, saeko, and was setting up the plan for their cheers so you werent exactly focused on your soulmate

but tendou did keep hearing a fight song in your head

then they walked in

shiratorizawa made their presence known and you turned to look at them but locked eyes at the unique looking player

his red hair glinted against the bright lights of the gym and his smirk curled in such an attractive way that you were leaning forward to get a closer look

tendou noticed a stare at him and he saw your surprised yet flustered look

that eye contact made everything fall deaf in your ears and you just heard silence

no song, no cheer, just absolute silence

but you and tendou are practically the same so you thought for the worse that your soulmate has died bc of the silence

dread filled your stomach and you started singing sofia the first in instinct

your mouth moved with the words and you shut your eyes, trying to calm yourself down

his jaw dropped, hearing the familiar voice and song that correlated with your mouth’s movements

‘there you are, little birdie’

semi turned to tendou and saw him with a smile hes never seen before

it was so soft and genuine that he got a little scared

the entire game, you were all depressed bc it continued to be silent in your head

tendou was just teasing you a little bit and he didnt want to think or sing a song bc he wanted it to be a special cliche reunion after he crushes your team

but his famous song ruined it

it blared in your head and it got 2x bass boosted when he sang it out loud, completely disregarding the fact that everyone was listening

‘you!’

you shrieked and pointed to him

he was your soulmate

and he was alive

not dead

everyone, including all players, looked at confusion between you and him but he just waved at you

‘ill talk to you later, little birdie!’

great, he embarrassed you in front of everyone

but you didnt care bc omg he was your soulmate!!

‘omg universe and fate, you actually like me to give me such a handsome soulmate!’

now, youre actually cheering on both teams

one was your home school the other was your soulmate

however,

there could only be one winner

and that winner was karasuno

you noticed the defeated looks of your soulmate and his teammates and you almost bursted into tears

you quickly maneuvered yourself through the people and found the familiar spiky hair standing at the doorway, looking at the gym with a forlorn expression

the others noticed you there, especially ushijima who gave you a nod and a small smile

‘i trust you’ll take care of him’

you nodded shakily, raising a hand in salute

‘y-yes!’

you approached him and his teary eyes almost made you bolt into his arms but you calmed yourself

instead, you didnt say anything

but you did sing

‘come stop your crying, it will be alright. just take my hand, and hold it tight. i will protect you, from all around you. i will be here, dont you cry.’

tendou looked to his side and saw you there, not looking at him but also looking at the same direction he was previously

‘my name is tendou satori’

despite already hearing his voice, you still turned red and you looked at him, warmth and love present in your eyes

‘and i’m l/n y/n’

‘you have a beautiful voice’

‘and you are beautiful’

that ending for shiratorizawa physically and emotionally and mentally broke me

449 notes · View notes

sadachmesarthim · 3 years

Note

C-cowboy starker? What if cowboy starker, I mean? I think... cattle driver Tony maybe, and ranch hand Peter,,, always wanted to write about this but I’m shy 🙈

mid-writing edit: i’ve spent half an hour on this and my computer is literally lagging with how fast i’m typing. i really hope this makes sense because holy shit, i love cowboy starker. anon, i need you in my inbox every single fucking time you have an idea about starker. idk if it’s in passing, idk if it’s super fleeting and doesn’t make sense. anon, you are my muse

ohhhhh my god anon i ,, love this idea so much i’ve actually thought about this a bit ngl you don’t even know how much i like western aus

okay so hear me out:

i’m thinking brokeback type shit, right?? but just a tad different like be honest who doesn’t like the whole bbm trope yfm and twink jake gyllenhaal is my baby okay okay okay sorry babe i’m still crossfaded as fuck and i could talk about that movie for days anyway back on topic

- no okay but think of it - tony, he’s recently divorced and morgan, his baby girl, his one and only daughter, she’s 19 now and seeing this absolute gentleman of a roughneck. his house is empty, he isn’t paying child support anymore, he doesn’t have this bitchy redhead on his ass 24/7 about getting a job in the city

- because tony hates the city, hates that his father dragged them away from the mountains and prairies he remembers from his childhood. hates what the city gave him - black eyes and mean names and disappointed parents

- so tony high tailed it the fuck out of dodge the second he turned 18. abandoned school, abandoned his family, took his beat up ford out to montana and disappeared. married this nice girl, virginia pepper, worked construction to support her while she went to school. had a pretty baby girl a year or two later. moved both of his girls out to a ranch he bought with their tiny savings, got a couple’a cows and a horse and made friends with a neighbor with a bull

- but eventually, pep had bigger dreams. they were both young when they got married, didn’t look past the immediate sexual compatibility to see that their futures were well and truly not going to go well together

- so she left the ranch, took morgan with, and made her way to the city. became some big lawyer or doctor or businesswoman or something, tony didn’t know. didn’t really care because the child support invoices still came every single month like clockwork.

- so instead of focusing on his distant daughter and his ex wife that wouldn’t listen to him and his family that just... didn’t understand, he threw himself into the wildlife around him

- became closer with those neighbors that had a bull. eventually came to an agreement and let him free with his girls

- built a very solid herd of highlanders in a handful of years, slowly attracting the attention of more and more owners wanting to trade, to buy, to sell

- and maybe one year, he realizes, he’s in a bit too far over his head with this. he has 100 of these four legged fuckers, he has 50 acres to take care of by himself, he has horses to feed and shoe and groom. he has fields to plant and water and harvest if he wants to feed any of the animals mentioned above

- so he reaches out to his neighbors, puts feelers out and sees if anyone knows a farmhand who’d want to help him out, maybe live on the property full time for a bit. and when he gets a call back his heart breaks a bit, because oh my god he wasn’t prepared for this

- a kid, can’t have been more than morgan’s age, has responded to him, and he’s good with his hands mr. stark, and he knows his way around animals mr. stark, been takin’ care of ‘em for his whole life now mr. stark

- and this kid is ,, he sounds so innocent and sweet there’s no way tony’s gonna say yes before he actually meets him

- so tony gives the kid his address, tells him to come out and give things a once over before he makes his mind up

- so peter does. he comes out, introduces himself, looks around the property with tony. and tonys heart hurts, because this kid, this kid that’s standing right in front of him, is almost skin and bones and looks like he’s about to crumble into dust and blow away in his hands

- he brings peter into the house, brings him coffee, offers him food. even after peter politely declines he brings over some bread to share, maybe a slice of pie?? maybe tony can cook and bake. he has a sweet tooth after all, and he’s been on his own for the better part of two decades.

- and he really gets to know peter. they sit, they talk, until the sun dips down and the open mountain chill takes over them

- and peter tells him that he’s been on his own for a couple of years, that his parents died when he was young and that his aunt and uncle took him in on their ranch. that he grew up around animals, working, helping out

- but when they died the property was repossessed by the bank and peter’d all but ran with ben’s keys and the clothes on his back. he’s been on the road ever since, going from missouri to texas to wyoming to montana, all in search of work, never staying in one place longer than a few months.

- he doesn’t tell tony that he’s secretly so, so tired of life on the road. doesn’t say how elated he was when he heard someone was looking for a fairly long-term live in farm hand. because that’s something he knew, something he was good at.

- he also doesn’t tell tony that his heart skipped several beats in a row the second peter laid eyes on him, and that he really wants to work for the gorgeous man in front of him

- it’s finally dark, his coffee cup is long empty and abandoned and peter’s just spilled nearly every single deep dark secret he’s ever had. tony’s closing the windows, and peter makes for the door. he’s taken up enough of this beautiful kind man’s time, he should leave before he stays even further past his welcome

- but tony’s stopping him, blocking him from the door, lightly grabbing his wrist and turning peter to face him fully

- and he’s asking begging pleading telling peter he should stay, that the spare room upstairs is warm and not going to be used anytime soon. that he still needs a farmhand and, as he sees it, peter’s already here

- secretly, tony can’t stand to see him leave

- he couldn’t handle letting his man this... kid, really, leave. not when tony could provide for him. not when he could feed him until his edges soften and his cheeks round out and his tummy gets squishy. not when he could work him into a sweat outside, watch that paperwhite skin turn a rich tan under the summer sun

- not even when he realizes the sudden care for the orphan in front of him is slowly becoming less familial, less platonic, and more... instinctual. base. greedy.

- because who better to make sure this kid is looked after than tony? tony, who has work-worn hands and time-softened eyes and cooking skills any bachelor would die for

- it’s honestly not even that shocking to him when peter says yes

- not when he takes his hand off the doorknob and immediately turns, immediately breathes out a “yes, yes of course mr. stark, thank you so much mr. stark, i’ll do whatever you need me to, you’re incredible mr. stark”

- and it all immediately goes to tony’s dick head because fuck, that was not the intended reaction but it was absolutely welcome, what the fuck

- so tony takes him upstairs, gets peter settled in the guest bedroom right across from his own

- and when he goes to bed that night he absolutely does not touch himself while thinking about the barely 20something thats maybe 10 feet away. doesn’t think about what peter said earlier, with tony’s hand wrapped around his wrist

- absolutely doesn’t cum with peter’s name on his lips, biting down on his knuckles so peter doesn’t hear

- and peter absolutely doesn’t cum with three fingers in his ass, tears streaming down his face, listening to the creaking mattress springs and heavy breathing from across the hall. of course he doesn’t

- and of course they don’t get along well. of course not. of course they don’t work together like they’re telepathically connected, not even needing to speak to know what the other is thinking. it’s like peter can read his mind, knowing exactly what needs done when

- but it’s not just tony. peter can tell before anyone else when the farrier needs to be called. when one of the girls is pregnant, even before she starts showing. knows when one of the cattle dogs has a hurt paw without even seeing him. can tell when it’s going to rain, so he knows whether or not it’ll be a good day to cut the alfalfa fields

- it’s a little freaky to be honest but tony doesn’t hate it. it’s really useful with everything on the farm, and it’s... it’s nice. having someone that can so effortlessly understand him.

- it’s also like peters... totally unaware of it. like he doesn’t even know he knows things he shouldnt know. which blows tony’s mind even more.

- it kinda turns him on, and he finds himself with his hand around his cock wondering if peter knows he’s getting off thinking about him. like, more than once. maybe even more than once a week. definitely more than once a week.

- and maybe peters kind of catching on, a little. that maybe his feelings toward his employer/landlord/new friend are shared

- it also doesn’t help that he gets uncontrollably aroused every time tony goes to bed. like. every... single... time...

- peter always knew he was.. attentive. but he didn’t know it would manifest as literally feeling tony’s arousal through the fucking walls

- and it doesn’t help that peter’s filling out. he’s getting darker as the months get warmer, he’s getting significantly more meat on his bones now that he’s eating more and working more

- and it really doesn’t help that tony is getting eyefuls of the half naked ranch hand almost 24/7. it’s really not his fault that peter works better without a shirt on

- and maybe it comes to a head one day. maybe they’re picking up alfalfa bales from one of the fields and they stop to take a break and tony just ,, can’t handle sweaty, tan, barely-a-twink-anymore peter.

- and peter can feel it, with his ,, unique senses, that tony’s watching him. like, a lot. like, way more than normal even

- so he decides to play it up a bit. he takes his shirt off, he throws his gloves in the bed of the truck and balls the tee in his hands, wiping his face off with it and sighing deeply

- and he knows tony saw that because he could fucking hear tony’s breathing change and he smirks a little bit, because that’s enough confirmation for him to know for sure

- so he looks up, and he meets tony’s eyes, and they’re wild and feral and tony looks like one of the wolves that tried to take out one of their cows last winter - hungry and ready to devour what was in front of him

- and peter just looks at him, a little incredulous, and finally speaks up: ‘you gonna get over here ‘n kiss me, or what?’ - and tony fucking breaks

- he turns the truck off and slams the door when he gets out, grabbing peter by the neck and fucking dragging him against tony’s clothed body

- “do you know what you’ve been doing this whole time?”

- of course peter does, tony, you fucking moron. he knows and he’s been trying to get you to rip him to shreds, dumbass. you’re just oblivious

- but tony still can’t help but see the tiny young man that walked up on his doorstep those years ago, can’t help but want to protect him and keep him safe and warm and fed

- so of course tony wanted to go slow, and wanted to be gentle with peter

- but pete was having fucking none of that, because oh my god tony i’m not 19 anymore please just fuck me already and been wanting you for way too long and please tony just-- and he grabs tony’s hand and makes him squeeze even harder

- and it’s hot, and it’s messy, and it’s not even really sex, just them rutting and grabbing and jerking each other off up against the door of tony’s truck, belt buckles undone and jeans just barely tugged down

- and tony’s basking in it, watching peter’s eyes screw shut and his pretty plush lips open and the little ‘aah, nngh fuck, tony’s that push their way from his throat

- and he knows, the second they’re done here, they’re abandoning their work for the day and he’s taking peter back to the house and he’s going to show him what this is like for real, what it means to be touched with intention and love and emotion behind it - not just a quick handjob standing in the hay field

- and he does. he worships peter’s body when they get back to the house

- he kisses every single part of him, nips at the tiny bit of excess fat on his stomach and thighs and hips, relishing in the fact that peter is his, his to take care of, his to keep safe and healthy and happy

- and eventually, the guest room opens up again. peter’s stuff slowly moves into tony’s room. he stops getting paid, but that’s okay

- because why would you get paid to work on your own farm?

#starker #anon #asked #answered #.ask #i like this idea anon #please see me for any and all future requests you may have #because holy shit #this was enjoyable #anyway im high as FUCK please excuse if this doesn't make sense #love u nonnie #word count: 2.4k

41 notes · View notes

sweetiejunie · 4 years

Text

sHE’S brOKen

Summary: I guess this is better than nothing, right?

Genre: smut, angst

Yeonjun x reader

=====================================

You’ve known him for as long as you could remember. You’ve seen him fall in and out of love with so many girls you couldn’t even count anymore. You’ve talked him through every crush, every slump and every heartbreak he’s ever had. And the worse part? You knew he would never fall for you. Why?

Because, you had fallen for him first.

—

“You know what? Fuck her!”

Yeonjun had recently broke up with his girlfriend of three months. He had found out that she had been cheating on him with another guy so no doubt, he ended things. And that’s how he ended up here, ranting to you once again. It was the usual, you sat on the couch listening while he paced around your living room. He had gone through almost ten thousand different emotions in the span of ten minutes. Okay, maybe that’s exaggerating. But you get the point.

“I don’t need her anyway!”

You wanted to tell him how much more he deserved. He didn’t deserve to be cheated on, no one did. Especially him. Three months doesn’t seem like a long time, but yeonjun treated her like he wanted her to be his last. He always did that. Every relationship was as if they were his first love. But time and time again, he ended up in your apartment heartbroken. This boy deserved everything. He deserved someone kind that, for once, would treat him like the king he is. And you wanted to give him that. But you could never admit that.

“I’m fucking done with relationships. I should just go find someone to be friends with benefits with.”

He said this every time. But every time he tried, he just ended up coming back to you crying over his ex and how being friends with benefits wasn’t satisfactory enough for him. Days later, you would see him walking hand in hand with someone new he picked up. And every time, you wished you were the new girl with him, but you never were. It was just an endless cycle. Whenever yeonjun was heartbroken, you felt hopeful that maybe he’d pick you. And whenever yeonjun felt hopefully about his relationship, you were heartbroken.

Sighing, you realised you had been quiet this whole time. Maybe if you said something it would put an end to this. Interrupting his rant, which seemed more like a soliloquy by this point, you took a breath, “fuck sake yeonjun, you say that all the time. You want a friends with benefits but that always only lasts for like a week! You always end up just dating another girl that never treats you right! Either find someone to fuck or find someone better, I wish for once you could just make up mind!”

And then yeonjun went silent. He stood there, just staring at you, biting on his lips. Looking as if someone had just kicked his puppy. Shit.... Were you too harsh? Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

Just as you were about to open your mouth to apologise, yeonjun beat you to it, “you know what? You’re right. All my relationships always fail and i guess I haven’t found the right person to be friends with benefits with. I know the point is to have no strings attached but i think i still need to find someone that i know and trust.But this time i think i found the right girl.”

You listened to his words carefully. Realising that his tone was smug rather than remorseful. A smirk pulled at his lips as he made his way closer to you. Your eyes widened as you studied his actions. Once he reached the edge of the couch where you were seated, he leaned down to look you in the eyes, his arms on either side of you, caging you between the cushions and him.

“You.”

You swallowed hard. Coming from him, that word was intimidating, making your heart race.

“I’ve known you for forever, we trust each other and we see each other all the time. I know you haven’t had a boyfriend in god knows how long, you must be really needy by this point. And friends got to help each other out right?” He spoke, the same smug grin still on his face. “Only if you want to, of course.”

A thousand thoughts ran through your head. You knew this was a bad idea. Feelings and meaningless sex should never mix but... you wanted him. If you could never be with him romantically, maybe this was the next best option. The only foreseeable future was one of you being hurt and heartbroken, wondering why yeonjun doesn’t love you the way you wanted him to. But as you mind was clouded with every pro and con you could think of, your body, or maybe it was your heart, acted for you and pulled him into a kiss.

Fuck.

Taking that as your answer, yeonjun grabbed the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. It wasn’t a rough, sloppy kiss. Instead, it was soft, gentle and passionate. After a few seconds, you pulled away. Wanting to tell yeonjun that this was a mistake, that you shouldn’t be doing this but when you looked into his eyes, you saw lust. Lust, that your heart wanted to, so badly, mistake for love.

“Let’s go to my room,” the moment that line escaped your lips, you regretted it. But no matter how much your mind was telling you to stop, your body wouldn’t.

Smiling, yeonjun picked you up bridal style, kissing you again as he made his way to your bedroom. He had been over to your place so many time, he practically knew the entire layout by muscle memory. Throwing you onto the bed, he stripped himself of his shirt. Grinning when he felt your gaze on him.

“See something you like doll?” he asked rhetorically, smugness behind his voice.

Leaving his shirt to fall to the ground, he climbed on the bed, hovering over you, getting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Connecting your lips once more before littering kisses along your jaw and neck, lightly sucking and licking on the skin as he went. Sneaking one of his hands underneath your shirt, he lifted your back slightly and unhooking your bra with ease. Gently massaged your breats, pinching on playing with your nipples until they were fully erect.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” halting his kisses and he looked up to your face.

Afraid that your common sense could kick in at any time, you chose to reply him with a small whine, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pushing his head back to your neck wanting him to continue. Getting the hint, yeonjun continued with his assult. His hand moving further south, slipping under your shorts. Feeling and teasing you through your soaked panties.

“Baby girl already so wet for me?” He said, satisfied with the mess he’s created.

You threw your head back, whimpering at the feeling. You knew the pet names he was using was just for the sake of the moment but how you wished he actually meant them. It was playing your heart and you hated it. It hurt, but you could get yourself to pull the plug. You really wished your body could listen to your head instead of that thing in your chest.

Yeonjuns fingers circled your clothed clit, adding the pressure you so desired. Watching how your expression changed, he loved the way your mouth hung open as struggled moans left your lips.

“Don’t tease yeonjun, please.”

“So eager. If i had known, i might have thought of this earlier. Get out of your for me will you?” He replied, tugging at the waist band of your shorts. “Your shirt is so thin i dont know why you bother to wear one anyway,” helping you get rid of your clothing, discarding them somewhere in the room.

You had been naked in front of yeonjun before. Not completely butt naked but you two were so close you would practically change in front of each other at times, with zero hesitation. You figured this shouldnt be too different, since feelings weren’t supposed to be involved. But you could help but feel self conscious, this meant more to you than yeonjun would ever know. Returning to his position above you, he kissed his way down your body and stopped right under your belly button and skipping to your inner thighs. Placing slow, open mouth misses until he reach your pussy. Pausing just for a second to admire the glory in front of him, right before placing a final kiss on your clit.

“Fuck, yeonjun,” you moaned.

You had no idea how yeonjun was still in his tight jeans, it must have hurt like crazy right now. Yet, he was still able to keep his composure. While your mind was preoccupied, Yeonjun had started darting his tongue in and out of you, lapping up any of your juices there was, his nose pressed against your clit. Your thoughts cleared as all you could focus on was how good he was making you feel. You knew it was wrong, but it felt so right.

Reaching down, you grabbed his hair in your fists, attempting to pull him closer to you, as if that was possible. Moving his mouth back to your bundle of nerves, he replaced his tongue with his finger, pumping in and out of you at a painfully slow pace.

“Faster, yeonjun. Please. You feel so good,” you pleaded, kicking you head back against your pillow, hoping he would give you what you needed.

“Whatever you want, baby girl,” he replied, adding one more finger and pumping faster, curling and massaging that sweet spot inside of you over and over.

As your moans got louder, yeonjun felt you contracting around his fingers, using his free hand to keep your thighs apart. The next thing you knew, yeonjun pulled his fingers out and crawled back up to meet you face to face, sucking his fingers clean.

“So sweet. I would ask you to return the favour... But you could always do that next time. And i really just want to fuck you right now,” he leaned down to growl in your ear, “is that alright?”

Nodding, you heard him start to undo his belt. The metal clinking and hitting the floor, follow by the sound of his zipper and his jeans joining his belt shortly after.

“Shit...,” you heard him cuss.

“What?”

“Do you have condoms?” He asked, you could tell he was frustrated with himself.

“Don’t worry, I’m on the pill,” you assured.

“Oh? Were you expecting this? You’re filthier than i thought.”

His statement made you blush. Well, you weren’t expecting this specifically. But you did hope one day it would have got to this, just in a more romantic way.

Lining himself up with your entrance, he rubbed the tip against your folds, gathering the wetness from your previous orgasm before slowly sliding just the tip in. His leaned down, kissing you again to distract you from the pain as you moaned into his mouth. Giving you a minute to adjust before pushing all the way in, groaning at how warm and tight you felt around him.

“You feel so good. Are you alright?” He asked, seeing your eyes screwed shut, your mouth agape, your breathing heavy.

A nodded a second after he asked, wanting him to start moving. You knew shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as you were, but you couldn’t help it. The stretch he gave you felt blissful and you just wanted to remember this moment.

Noticing that you were starting to relax and calm down, he took it as a sign to start moving. Pulling out to the point only his tip was still in you and then snapping his hips back. He repeated this action, loving the way your moans echoed in his ears louder and louder the faster he got. Admiring how his dick would disappear in you, coming back out covered in your slick juices. You wrapped your legs around his waist once more, allowing him to hit even deeper inside you. The new angle allowing him to continuously rub against your g spot.

“You take me so well baby girl.”

“Yeonjun dont stop.” The exact opposite of what you should have been staying. “Fuck, im cumming.”

“Come for me baby,” Yeonjun said between grunts, slowing his movements momentarily to help ride you through your high.

A high pitch whine coming from your mouth as you came undone, breathing quickening. Feeling your walls spasm around him, yeonjun knew he wouldn’t last any longer. He thrusted into you hard one last time, burying himself to the hilt before filling you up to the brim.

You stayed like that for a while, your sweaty bodies pressed against each other, lungs struggling for air. After your breathing had stabled a bit, yeonjun pulled out. Sitting back, watching his cum leak out of you. Noticing his stare, you started to get insecure, trying to cover yourself up with your blanket.

“Oh, don’t get shy with me after we just did that y/n,” he chuckled.

Plopping down next to you, he grabbed the blanket out if your hands and draped it over the two of you. There it was, he was back to calling you by your name. You shouldn’t have bothered you as much it did, but the more you tried to shut your thoughts, the louder they became. You rolled over so that your back was facing him. Tears had started to fill your eyes and you weren’t sure why. Well, thats a lie. You knew why. You knew exactly why. Burying yourself further into the blanket you tried to hide your sniffles. But of course, yeonjun still noticed. He always noticed.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, concern laced in his voice. Propping himself up on his forearm, he leaning over you, trying to get you to face him.

Shaking your head, you answered with a simple lie, “nothing.”

“Y/N... if i hurt you, you should tell me. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“No, you didn’t. I promise. It’s... something else,” you lied again. This time turning to face him, giving him a reassuring smile. He did hurt you, just not in the way he thought. And for the most part, it was your own fault.

“If you want to talk about it, you know I’m always here to listen,” he smiled, stroking your hair gently. A feeling you loved over the years. One you got used to, but you knew was nothing more than a friendly gesture.

Once again you nodded. He laid back down, pulling you into his chest and right then, all you could focus on was his heartbeat. How perfectly synced it was with yours. And that was it, the end of the conversation, the end of the night. The next day you woke up and yeonjun was gone. Off to practice you presumed, he always had practice on a Saturday morning. You knew you would still see him later that day, but your heart ached.

Yeonjun was so close, yet so far. Laying in your bed, you realised that maybe you were just destined to be friends.

Huh, friends. You never thought a word could sound so bitter.

=====================================

Wrote this at 4am one night. Was feeling kinda sad so figured why not make the most of it and write to get my mind off it~ Hope u liked this! ♡

Masterlist

#yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun au #txt yeonjun #txt fanfic #txt smut #txt imagine #txt au #txt post #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun smut #yeonjun #yeonjun angst #yeonjun ff #txt angst #txt ff

236 notes · View notes

wreckofawriter · 5 years

Text

Focus

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Ravenclaw!reader

Warnings: Slight swearing, bullying

Word count: 4,728 (this is the longest one I've ever written)

Request: Hey do you think you could do a Draco imagine? I was thinking with a ravenclaw reader who’s actually shy and clumsy.

A/n: Sorry this came out later than I anticipated, its regents week for me and I was crushed by exams. I hope to have part one of my Draco series out over the weekend. Hope you guys like this ridiculously long one!

“Ms. y/l/n” You heard an all too familiar voice say.

“Yes Professor?” You asked turning around swiftly to face the raven haired teacher.

“What happened with your potion, it was a complete disaster?” The teacher asked.

You flushed, it was no secret you weren't exactly great at positions, you were too clumsy to measure anything out, you managed to cut your finger and you always messes up the order of ingredients.

“I'm so sorry professor i'm just not very good at positions. I have been studying I swear, it just..” Your voice trailed off. “I'm sorry professor.” You mumbled looking down.

“I want you prepared for the test next Wednesday, you should be able to manage that?” He asked eyebrows raised.

“Of course professor.” You mumbled still quite flush from the whole conversation. You turned to leave walking back towards your common room. About thirty seconds later you saw the last person you wanted to. Mckenzie Clarkson. She was a fellow housemate who unfortunately was extremely popular, pretty, nimble footed and of course, smart. She was basically everything you weren't, in your mind.

“God your pathetic.” The brunett girl laughed, her stunning green eyes narrowing. “You have lost, what was it? 30 points for us today.” The girls behind her giggled whispering things to each other. “You shouldnt even be in Ravenclaw. Your far to stupid. You cant even get into the common room without help, you trip over your own feet and you are practically failing all your classes.” She smirked clearly feeling very good about herself, as you willed yourself not to cry. You hated crying, so you just glared up at her anger rushing through you like a wave, but you kept it down, what could you possibly say to her?

“Can you just let me go?” You asked voice weak.

“I don't know can we?” The hallway erupted in laughter.

“Just let me leave.” You said voice a bit stronger now as your anger grew.

“Fine.” She smirked as she moved out of the way. You quickly began to walk through the group of girls, the embarrassment was suffocating.

Just as you were about to break free of the group, a girl stuck he leg out sending you sprawling to the ground. Your hands, full of books that scattered as you attempted to get your arms in front of you, it was a failure and you landed on your elbow directly followed by you face. You groaned in pain as you felt blood begin to seep from your nose.

“Oops.” The girl giggled before they all turned to leave laughing and joking.

You lay there for a few seconds squeezing your eyes shut, begging the tears to retreat. You eventually pushed yourself up so you were sitting. You were surrounded by books and papers, you had blood rushing down your face dripping onto you shirt and you had had enough. You simply pulled yourself to the side of the hallway drawing your knees to you cest and began to cry. You knew this wouldn't stop. You were far too shy to say anything and even if you weren't the girls were right anyway. Why were you in Ravenclaw when it took you a good twenty minutes just to figure out the password to your own common room?

Just then your heard voices. You quickly moved grabbing your books and sprinting out of the hallway before anyone could see you. You sprinted the whole way back to the tower. You were greeted by the raven statue you had grown to hate. You groaned loudly.

The statue spoke, “How is it possible for you to stand behind your father while he is standing behind you?” it asked, making you groan again.

“Can you please just let me in, im covered in blood.” You grumbled knowing that it wouldn’t answer. You tried to think. How can I stand behind something that is behind me? You racked your brain for an awnser but it seemed impossible. You couldnt help it you began to cry again. Frustration, embarrassment and sadness filled you as tears streaked you cheek. Why were you put in Ravenclaw? What could that stupid, good for nothing, hat possibly seen in you that made him shout “Ravenclaw” like a farmer yelling for his next sheep to slaughter.

You then heard footsteps beside you. You turned to see Cho Chang. She was in the year above you and was everything a Ravenclaw should have been, pretty, athletic, and of course wicked smart. You wanted to hate her for being so perfect but you couldn't.

“Hey,” She said softly, “I heard what Mckenzie did. That's messed up.” She attempted to sooth you.

“It doesn't matter.” You attempted to smile but it was more of a tight lipped grimace.

“She’s wrong you know.” Cho smiled.

You gave a half hearted laugh, “What could possibly make me a Ravenclaw?”

“So much y/n,” she said, “You are crazy good at Wizards Chess for one.”

“That’s just a stupid game.” You grumbled.

“No, it takes strategy and I've never seen a single person beat you.” She pointed out.

You blushed not used to getting praised.

“Also i've seen your artwork, its beautiful, absolutely stunning.” She smiled making you blush more.

“Thanks.” you mumbled.

“Look don't let one girl get you down.” She advised before asking the statute for the riddle. It answered and she stood there thinking for a second.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, “Your standing back to back.”

The statue spun open as you hit your forehead onto you stack of books making you stumble, barley catching yourself before you fell. You cursed yourself before ascending the stairs to your room. You had had enough humiliation for today.

Draco rolled his eyes as Zambini told another terrible joke beside him, “What do you call a red head with no brains?’

“I don't know, you with red hair?” Draco mocked.

“Close but no.” the other boy snickered, “A weasley!” He erupted into laughter as they rounded the corner, heading to the common room.

As they continued talking Draco felt something thump against his foot. He looked down to see a leather bound book which he had kicked a few feet in front of him. The platinum blonde raised his eyebrows before bending down to pick it up.

“What the..” Balises voice trailed off.

Draco looked up to see a small puddle of blood at the end of the quoridor.

“Some idiot probably got hurt in potions or something.” Draco scoffed, though he was a bit confused. They continued walking being careful to avoid the blood. Draco's mind was quickly brought back to the book and he opened it to see what it was. What he saw stunned him.

They were sketches. Not crappy sketches that was done by some kid, but damn good sketches. Most of them looked like they were for herbology. There were various plants with notes about them scribbled in messy handwriting in the margins, but every few pages there was something different. On the fifth page there was a drawing of a creature he didn't recognize. It was a black horse-like creature with big leathery looking wings. He wondered what it was. They had now arrived at the common room and Draco went directly to a couch sitting down on the black leather, continuing through the book. On the eleventh page there was a drawing of a broom stick. It was read Nimbus 2000 at the handel. There were various other sketches of random objects littered throughout the pages of plants and each was extremely realistic. His thoughts were interrupted by Daphne and Pansy.

“Did you draw those Malfoy?” Daphne asked plucking the book out of his hand ignoring his protests.

“No, could I have it back?” He asked glaring at the girl.

Before she could respond Perkison interrupted, “Who’s is it Dracy?”

“Don't call me Dracy” the boy groweld, “and I haven't the slightest idea.”

“Oh, how did you get it?” Daphne asked.

“I just found it, now give it back.” He stood up snatching the book up before retreating upstairs.

“Who pissed in his cheerios?” Pansy grumbled plopping onto the couch.

The next day you had herbology first period, you quite liked herbology you were good at it too. You loved how you could just sketch after you finished the drawing of the plants and of course you love your grade in the class. It made you feel less like a loser. Just a little less. When you plopped yourself into a seat next to a Ravenclaw boy named Casey. He was always very nice and often complimented you drawings. You would be lying if you said you didn't like him a little.

After sitting down and greeting the boy you opened your bag to look for your sketchbook. It was nowhere to be found. What the heck? You thought as you searched through your bag with no luck. Then it struck you. You must have left it in the dungous yesterday. You cursed yourself quietly.

“You okay?” Casey asked beside you.

“Yeah I just lost my book,” You smiled at him blushing a bit.

“Oh. I could help you look for it later if you want.” He offered.

“O-oh I wouldn't want to bother you.” you blushed

“It's no bother, I swear i want to help.” He smiled flashing a pearly set of straight teeth.

“Ok, s-sounds good.” You stammered, you felt your face grow impossibly warmer.

The lesson continues and you talked occasionally to Casey, you did your sketch on a piece of lined paper, you would transfer them when you found your notebook. After Herbologioy you and Casey headed down to the dungeons to look for your book. You had never really hung out with him out of class and it was nice. You were fighting a blush the whole time, you weren’t really one who interacted with attractive boys out of class.

Draco began to make his way down to potions, he was still working through the drawings, there were many creatures he had never heard of before. It was odd, how had he never seen so many of these before? He was halfway through the dungeons when he heard giggling. It wasn't Pansy’s shriek, it was a soft quiet sound that made him think of the patter of rain on dewy grass. He turned the corner to see two figures in blue robes. One was a tall boy with dirty blond hair and deep brown eyes. Next to him was a y/h girl with y/h/l y/h/c hair that shone in the candle light. Her eyes were a stunning y/e/c that shared a soft yet sharp gaze with the world. He was taken aback. How had he never seen this girl before? They both looked at Draco expecting him to speak but he didn't, he simply kept walking brushing past the two, tucking the leather bound book back into his robes.

As he walked away, he heard the boy mutter something to the girl, causing her to gasp and laugh,

“Casey!” she scolded him

“Oh come on y/n that was funny.” He teased back and Draco almost gasped in surprise. That was y/n? y/n y/l/n? No way. You were in his potions class and you never even spoke up, you were constantly messing up positions too. How was that girl the same one whose name he had grown deaf to Snape yelling? I didn't seem possible.

“Shot, I have to get to positions.” you told Casey glancing at your watch. He said goodbye as you walked quickly to your worst class. You were actually unusually excited, Luna one of your best friends had offered to help you out because you had the class together and she was quite good at potions. You entered the classroom quickly and found Lun, sitting next to the girl. As you waited for class to start you chatted about the different potions and what might be on the test.

“Wait for the dragons egg you have to turn it to powder first right?” you asked to see your friends gaze elss where.

“Dracos staring at you.” She said simply as if she hadn't just said an impossible sentence.

“What?” you asked turning around to meet a pair of silver eyes already on you. They quickly dodged away making you blush tremendously. “I saw him in the hallway eairler, and Casey made a stupid joke about him, hes probally plotting my death.” You sighed reality crashing on to you.

“I don't think so.” Luna said in her usual dreamy tone.

“What else would he be doing?” You murmured returning to your notes.

Before Luna could answer Snape entered the room and you snapped your eyes to the front of the class.

“It has come to my attention that many of you are getting nothing done in this class.” He stated harshly. You cringed this was not going to end well. “And because of that fact I have made a new seating chart,” You groaned, just when you were getting excited about positions.

“Listen for your name and your partner,” He continued. “Parkinson, Belby. Goldstein, Crabbe. Greengrass, Lovegood.” You glanced at your friend who was as usual, smiling. You are happy for her as well, there were much worse partners to be had. “Corner, Zambini. Boot, Blustrode. Y/l/n, Malfoy.” The rest of the names went out of the window when you heard your partner. This was not going to be good, not good at all.

When Draco heard your name called, then quickly followed by his he felt like he was going to throw up. And it wasn't because he knew you were probably going to botch whatever potion they made, it was because he wasn't sure if he could focus around you. He blushed madly and tried to think about something else. It's just a pretty girl you bloody idiot. He scolded himself. You just met her today, he reminded himself Well just realized she existed today. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Snape's voice.

“If you don't like your partner, too bad. Move together please.” Draco glanced over at y/n who was already packing up, Zambini moved from his seat apologizing to Draco for his partner and moved toward the back where Micheal was seated.

He then saw you make your way over to him your cheeks a bit red, the same way they were when you were talking to that Casey boy in the hallway. He grimaced, how was he jealous of someone he had never spoken a word to? He then decided he would ignore every good quality you had and focus on the bad ones. That way it would be easier to pretend to hate you right?

The second you sat down his plan failed. You smelt like vanilla and roses. He wanted to lean closer to you and inhale your addicting scent forever, but instead he moved over or so he couldn't breathe in your intoxicating fumes.

“Hi, i’m y/n.” You said sweetly sticking your hand out.

“I know who you are.” Draco responded ignoring your hand and continuing to stare at the board, slouching in his seat.

“Oh ok.” You murmured. He saw a small frown take over your soft pink lips and he felt angry for being its cause.

Snape explained that you were to make a Confusing Concoction potion and told you you had till the end of class. The potion wasn't too complicated. You thought you might be able to get through this one.

“I'll get the water you can work on the feathers.” Draco drawled trying not to get to close to you as he stood. You pretend not to notice.

“Ok.” you nodded. You grabbed the feathers and began to separate the barbs from them. Not but two feathers in you yelped with pain as a barb pierced your thumb. You yanked it out hissing in pain as you saw blood drips from the wound. Draco who was now back and heating the water grimaced at the sound of your pain but refused to show that he cared.

He sighed loudly, “Look you go clean up and I will finish the feathers.”

“Thank you.” you whimpered walking towards a sink face red as the blood dripping from your hand.

Draco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding after you walked past. He then sat down and began to work on the feathers. His fingers moved easily to separate the barbs from the stalk and he couldn't help but wonder how you had possible stuck yourself with one so quickly. He then heard a thump and an apology and looked up to see you stumbling back to your seat face a brilliant red as Millicent and Boot glared after you. He snickered a bit turning back to the feathers.

Once you had most of the ingredients in you had to wait for 30 minutes for it to boil so Draco sat down and pulled out the book of drawings he had found.

He was flipping through the pages again when he heard a gasp beside him. He looked up eyebrows raised.

“Where did you find that?” You asked pointing at the book.

“In the hallway.” He smirked, “Why do you care anyway?”

“Because it's mine.” You whispered causing his cheeks to flush.

“This is yours?” He asked surprise sewn into his voice.

“Yes.” you nodded, “I lost it when..” your voice trailed off face growing red, “after potions.” you finished voice quiet.

“You sure this is yours?” It came out harsher than Draco had intended but what could he do about it now?

“Yes.” you breathed out face growing warmer. “It does have drawings in it, doesn't it?”

“Well yeah but they are like, really good.” Only after he said it did he realise how it sounded. He instantly was filled with guilt as your face flashed with sadness and anger.

“Yeah, well, they’re mine.” You grumbled voice quiet.

“Here.” He handed the book to you, your hands brushed before you snatched the book away and he felt like he was going to burst at the feeling of your skin against his.

Just then the timer on your position went off and the two of you continued to work.

That's how it went for two weeks. You and Draco would share very few words as you worked together. Your grade did improve, but you were still quite prone to accidents and Draco rolled his eyes everytime. You went from being sad he didn't like you to being mad. He was always so rude. He would avoid speaking to you, looking at you, hell he avoided you altogether, his seat was always poised at the other end of the desk as if you were some sort of plague. All of this made you angry and frustrated. What have you done to make you so repulsive? You knew you weren't the best at potions but you had only messes up three the whole time and you were improving. You had never been rude to the boy even once, how come he hated you so much?

“I just don't get it.” You pouted turning to Casey who was walking you down to potions.

“It's not your fault y/n, he's like that with everyone.” He explained, “He's just a dick, not much you can do about it.”

“But maybe if I was better at potions the-” you were interrupted by Casey.

“Y/n its not your fault, you are amazing and sweet and kind, it's just him okay? Don't let him make you doubt yourself.”

You blushed furiously at his words, “Thanks Case.”

“Plus if he's really pissing you off just blow a potion up in his face.” he jeered.

You laughed loudly, “He'd probably kill me with his icy glare.” you teased.

“He is always glaring at you.” Casey smiled.

“Thanks for walking me.” You said.

“Of course, i’ll see you around y/n.” He beamed.

“See ya.” You said before entering the classroom. You were met with Draco's frozen glare.

“Hello Malfoy.” You greeted.

“Y/l/n” he responded his voice vacant of any emotion.

You sat down and glanced at the board to see what position you were working on. You then looked at Draco who was already looking at you making you blush.

“I'll get the water.” You said promptly before standing up and snatching a cauldron. Only when you did this you left foot got caught behind your right and you plummeted to the ground. You dropped the cauldron with a clang and you hit the ground. You instantly heard laughter erupted throughout the room and you felt tears well up in your eyes. You then heard a snicker and you didn't have to see his face to know it was Draco. You blinked furiously face a deep shade of crimson. You then pushed yourself off the ground, lifted the cauldron from a few feet away and turned to face the slytherin boy. Your shyness suddenly disappearing in your rage and embarrassment when you saw the everlasting smirk perched on his lips. You felt two tears cascade down your red cheeks as you thrust the cauldron into his hands.

“Screw you Malfoy.” your voice trembled through gritted teeth. You then quickly left the classroom, laughter disappearing behind you. You made it maybe two cordors from the classroom when you saw Mckenzie. You instantly turned to run but were cut off by a few other girls already behind you.

“God y/n, such a clutz.” She snickered. “I think you belong in a physical therapy building not a wizarding school.”

You only whimpered feeling helpless and small.

“Boo-hoo poor, poor, y/n all alone.” She rubbed her eyes with her fists.”You do realize that Casey only hangs out with you because of a dare right?”

Your eyes widened in confusion.

“I made a dare that he couldn't get you to go out with him in a month and here we are, only two weeks in and you are practically drooling over him.”

You felt a sob leave your mouth. You wanted to say it wasn’t true but you knew it was. It sure as hell wasn’t a coincidence he asked to help you find your book the exact day she said she struck the deal with him. You felt angry. Sad. But most of all embarassed. You were always so embarrassed. Why where you always so fucking embarassed?!

“Guess I'll have to go out with him now that I told you about the bet” She smirked picking at her long blue nails.

“Of course.” You muttered tears falling of your chin.

“What's that?” Mckenzie smirked.

“Of course he would want to go out with you.” You began to sob and you saw Mckenzie’s smirk widen and your anger out did you.

“Of course, some douchebag like him would want to date a slutty bitch like you.” Anger dripped like poison from your voice. All of the laughter around you stopped as you felt yourself smile. You looked up through your tears to see Mkenzies mouth wide open in shock, her eyes wide in her sockets.

Anger took over her features and she pulled her wand from her robes with a shriek. “Stupify!” she shouted and you were sent sprawling backward. Your head hit the stone wall and black dots danced in your vision. You groaned closing your eyes but they popped back open when you heard another voice.

“Back off!” it yelled anger knit into its frame. You turned to see Draco heading strait at the girls. He whipped his wand once and suddenly Meckenzi flew into the air. She then dangled there like an invisible rope was tied to her ankle.

She shrieked for the girls below her to help but they just turned and ran fearful of the boy heading toward them. After the other girls disappeared Draco flicked his wand again and Mckenzie fell to the ground and began to cry.

“Get out of here before I do more than hex you.” You heard him growl.

The girl instantly stood up sobbing as she stumbled away. Draco's eyes softened when they landed on you.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he rushed over to you.

“What do you care Malfoy?” you mumbled attempting to get up only to stumble over your own feet and plummet to the ground, well you would have hit the ground if it wasn't for a pair of strong arms wrapping around you. You looked up at the blonde, his grey eyes were set on your lips and felt your heartbeat speed up to extremely high. Draco's face was now quite red as he helped you back to your feet.

“Why do you hate me?” the question rose from your lips before you could stop it. You flushed immediately after it left your mouth. Draco looked taken aback by the question.

“I don't hate you.” he stated.

“Don't lie to me. You avoid looking at me, you don't speak to me, hell you sit as far away from me as possible.” You paused looking at the boy, “I just want to know why.”

He laughed he actually laughed. What could possibly be funny right now? Was this all another joke? Did he really find your misery that funny. You flushed madly turning to leave.

“No wait love, don't leave.” Draco begged his laughter stopping abruptly.

You felt heat rush to your face at the nickname and turned around looking at the ground. Your gaze was turned upward when you felt a finger slowly lift your face upward. You had never blushed so much in your entire life.

“I don't hate you y/n. I would never hate you.” He smiled, not his usual smirk but a genuine smile and it made you go weak at the knees. “I don't think I could ever hate you.”

“Then why do you act like you do?” you asked, “Why do you avoid me? Why do you never talk to me, never look at me?”

He sighed, “I avoid you because whenever I get near you, I smell you. And it drives me crazy.” His hand caressed your cheek bone and you were pretty sure you face was on fire. “Your scent is beyond intoxicating. When I talk to you I lose track of everything else and I can only hear your voice echoing in my head.” He whispered, his minty breath danced across your face making you shudder. “And when I look at you, it's like the world disappears and it's only you standing there. Everytime I look at you I have to battle myself not to lean in and taste your lips.”

You stared at him. You couldn't breath, your It had been replaced with butterflies that were now fluting inside you madly. You were pretty sure this is what death felt like. But then something clicked inside you and your realized this wasn't death it was love.

“When it comes to you, I can focus on nothing else.” Dracos lips were so close you could feel them brush yours and you couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed the back of his head and smashed his lips onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it before, his lips danced on yours with grace you couldn't even begin to fathom. You felt his tongue slid across your lips and your eyes widened in surprise. You then shut them again opening your mouth a slight bit. You ran your hand threw his hair as he explored your mouth with his tongue pushing you up against the wall softly. You didn't want to break the kiss but you felt your lungs burn begging for air and you drew away from him.

You were both panting when you pulled apart. Your face was a bright red, your lips swollen, and hair disheveled but to Draco, you had never looked more beautiful.

“Merlin,” he gasped out, “I'm never going to focus again when I know you kiss like that.”

You flashed a brilliant red and giggled, Draco then decided he couldn't stop himself anymore, he pressed his lips against yours once again.

4K notes · View notes

bffnct · 4 years

Text

kiss me

pairing park jisung x reader

genre fluff, best friends to lovers

word count 2k

you lay next to jisung, tucked comfortably in his side with his arm on the back of the sofa, the only source of light coming from the tv in the middle of the dorm’s living room. luckily, the dreamies were on vacation, the other boys gone to visit their families while jisung stayed back with you since you were also on break from school. there was a large bowl of popcorn nestled inbetween your crossed legs, filled up to the brim of the microwave popcorn the boys had laying around, an almost gross amount of butter and salt added to it (though you and jisung werent planning on eating their entire stash, but hey thats a problem for jaemin to handle).

your favorite movie, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before was playing on the one and only netflix account you and the dreamies shared, and any chance you had to get your best friend of nearly 15 years to watch one of your cheesy teen-romance movies, you took it and ran with it.

the only problem was actually getting him to pay attention, the taller boy slumped in the sofa with his long legs taking up almost the whole floor space between the sofa and the coffee table, his other hand occupied with his phone, his eyes glued to the screen. you wrinkled your nose at him, disappointed in the fact that he had missed approximately 15 scenes of your soon-to-be-husband, Noah Centineo in all of his handsome glory, playing the character of Peter.

jisung didnt even notice you looking at him, too invested in his instagram feed, so when you threw a popcorn at his face, he flinched, dropping his phone in the process. he was about to pinch you when you raised your hand at him, bluffing that you were gonna hit him, which worked in making him back down almost every time. jisung sucked his teeth and crossed his arms, sulking as he looked at the screen for the 5th time.

‘watch the movie’ you whined, jutting out your bottom lip and making your eyes big, playfully smacking him on the chest, jisung deadpanning at your attempt to get him to actually watch the movie. ‘watch the movie’ he mimicked you in a tiny, whiney voice, scrunching his nose back at you, giving you a cheeky smile before returning his eyes back to the screen. you narrowed your eyes at him, getting comfortable in his side again. in the span of the two of you bickering, you had completely forgotten where you were in the movie, until the scene went dark, and Peter lays in the hot tub.

oh. you were at that part. the kissing part.

you could feel jisung shift uncomfortably next to you, his body tensing up slightly as Lara Jean climbed into the hot tub with Peter, tension in the air in both the scene and between you and jisung. you knew jisung cringed whenever a kissing scene came on, and when Peter grabbed Lara’s leg and threw it over his waist so that she was straddling him, the two of them leaning in to share a steamy kiss in the hot tub, jisung flailed his impossibly long limbs around, nearly knocking over your bowl of popcorn. seriously, this boy was a walking noodle. ‘this is so gross! god, why do you like watching these things?’ he huffed, covering his eyes with his large hands, dragging them down his face, glaring at you with a very unamused expression on his face. ‘what?! theyre in love!’ you clasped your hands together, an exaggerated sigh leaving your lips as you pretend-fainted onto jisungs shoulder, looking up at your best friend with sparkling eyes. ‘i wish i had a tall, handsome boyfriend to come sweep me off my feet and kiss me like that!’ you stuck your tongue out at jisung, sitting up and crossing your arms.

jisung felt himself stiffen at the sight of your pink tongue peeking through your soft lips, gulping as he rolled his eyes once again, trying to ignore his heart that was beating at a rapid pace. ‘you have a tall, handsome boy right next to you’ he mumbled, deadpanning you once again. did this boy ever smile? it was hard for you to take him seriously, so you just let out a nervous laugh. ‘ji, we’re best friends, almost like siblings. if we kissed i think that’d be like, lowkey incest’ you tried to hide the shakiness in your voice. you couldnt even hear the movie playing in the background anymore, the sound of your beating heart muffling out any sound in your ears.

if the lights werent off, surrounding the room in darkness except for the tv, you’re sure jisung would be able to see your beet-red cheeks. the eye contact the two of you held was almost uncomfortable, an invisible string seeming to bring the two of you closer. jisung took the bowl of popcorn from between your legs, putting it on the coffee table before he crawled over you, your back now pressed against the seats of the sofa, jisung caging over you, looking up at him with wide eyes.

‘ji, what are you-‘

‘kiss me’ he said, his expression rock solid, contrasting the way he was nearly sweating and the way his heart was about to explode out of his chest. you nearly choked on your own saliva, the bluntness of his words making your heart skip a beat. ‘what?! why me? why dont YOU kiss me?’ you complained, feeling your breath become labored at the change of the air between you.

‘why do i have to do everything?’ he mumbled, taking a deep breath of air through his nose before he leaned down and connected his lips with yours.

your eyes shot open in a split second, a small scream threatening to escape your mouth. you didnt actually expect him, your best friend and life-long crush, to KISS you. there was no way he was kissing you, right? his lips were way too soft and the way his hair brushed against your forehead was almost too perfect, this couldnt be real, you had to be dreaming. you closed your eyes, expecting this to all end by the next time you opened your eyes, hopefully waking up from this dream.

that was until he breathed out, the cool air fanning across your skin, his tongue lightly swiping over your bottom lip. that set off electric sparks to flow all the way through your body, stopping at your fingertips. you gasped, parting your lips, allowing jisung to playfully lick at your tongue before he pulled back, looking down at you with wide, blown out eyes, your eyes the same way.

‘was that too much? shit, im sorry i shouldnt have kissed you, fuck-‘

you cut him off, grabbing the back of his neck and crashing your lips back into his, this kiss slower, no tongue, just the feeling of your lips molding together. it was so intimate, almost too much to handle. you couldnt explain the feelings that were blooming from your heart. you were happy, shocked, and you wanted to cry all at the same time. jisung pulled away again, the two of you out of breath, hearts threatening to leap out of your chests.

you could feel the tears threatening to escape your eyes, and instead of letting jisung see you get all emotional over a kiss, you started to smack at his arms until he was no longer over you, leaning back to sit on his heels. ‘jisung! why did you kiss me?!’ you yelled at him, still smacking the boy anywhere you could reach him. ‘ow! ow! fuck-y/n! stop hitting me!’ he brought his arms to his face, trying to curl up in a ball to shield himself from your ruthless attack on him (as if a boy his height could actually manage to make himself small).

you felt him grab your wrists with his hands, his scowl softened when he was finally able to see your face, your eyes shiny and cheeks wet. ‘hey, hey, what happened?’ his deep voice held concern and fright in it, afraid he had done something to hurt you. you sniffled, looking at the bowl of popcorn, avoiding eye contact. ‘y/n, im sorry for kissing you, if you dont feel the same way thats totally fine.’ he said with a soft voice, releasing one of your wrists to wipe the trails of tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

‘god, youre so dumb’ you mumbled, looking at him. his eyebrows knit together in confusion, lips slightly parted. ‘of course i feel the same way! that’s why im crying! do you know how long i’ve liked you?’ you exclaimed, making jisung fall silent.

you, the girl of park jisung’s dreams, and his best friend of 15 years, actually liked him back?

he looked at you with wide eyes, unable to believe what was happening. ‘do you know how long i’ve liked YOU?? i thought i made myself obvious! all of the cuddle sessions we had, the times we’ve held hands, when i play with your hair, i just thought you didn’t like me back!’ he complained, running a hand through his black hair out of frustration. jisung looked you dead in the eyes, fumbling his hands around to find yours, lacing your fingers together.

‘so you’re telling me, this whole time we’ve both liked eachother? we just never saw the signs?’ you said in a shaky voice, blushing when you saw your small hands holding jisung’s big ones. something about this felt different, the way his hands cradled yours, his thumb running over yours in the most perfect way. it made both of your hearts race, a pink tint coming up to rest on your cheeks.

‘uh, no shit, sherlock’ jisung teased, giving you one of his heart-melting smiles, raising your interlocked hands up to his face, kissing the back of your hands. you stuck out your tongue at him, unable to hold back the giggle that was bubbling in your chest. ‘ji?’ you whispered, looking down at your hands once again. ‘yeah?’ he leaned in slightly, unable to hear you clearly.

‘i think i’m in love with you, actually’ you looked back up at jisung, and thats when it hit him. your red nose, pink cheeks, puffy, sparkling eyes and soft, kiss-swollen lips. ‘i-‘ his voice cracked, clearing his throat.

‘i think i’m in love with you too, y/n’

your eyes widened, a big smile spreading across your lips, jisung matching your expression. you reached over and grabbed a hand-full of the now soggy popcorn, hurling it at him, bursting out in a fit of giggles. ‘jisung! you’re so cheesy! cheesier than this movie!’ you playfully wrestled with him, laughs and screams filling the living room. ‘yah! thats gonna stain the couch and when jaemin yells at me for it im not gonna cover for you!’ jisung threatens, finally getting his feet on your stomach to kick you off of him.

your laughing dies down, a comfortable silence filling the air. you two just sit there, staring at eachother, admiring eachother’s features. your heart swells up for the millionth time that night, reaching up and brushing his hair back and out of his face. jisung turns his head and playfully licks at your hand, chuckling at the way you pull back, a grimace on your pretty face.

you purse your lips at jisung. ‘so..does this mean i can call you my boyfriend?’ you asked in a tiny voice, scooting closer to him, your knees bumping together. ‘only if i get to call you my girlfriend’ jisung leans in and rubs his nose against yours, giving it a quick peck right after.

you smile, the two of you looking at eachother like you two put stars in the sky.

‘i like the sound of that’, you say, sealing the deal with a kiss.

#NCT #nct dream #jisung #park jisung #park jisung fluff

159 notes · View notes

izzyfandoms · 3 years

Text

Thoman - Zombie

(This is one of 36 Halloween-themed ficlets I'm posting today! One for every sides/Remy/Emile/Thomas ship plus creativitwins!)

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @spookedferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

"Does it ever scare you?" Roman asked, staring up at the stars as he lay beside Thomas.

Their hands were touching - one pinky finger over the other - though they weren't quite holding hands. And the couple was staring up at the stars, watching the bright, twinkling lights in mostly silence.

"Does what ever scare me?" Thomas asked, turning his head to look at Roman.

Roman didn't look at him, just continuing to stare up at the sky with a thoughtful expression. It was... neutral, though almost bordering on unhappy.

Thomas's expression creased with concern, but he decided to wait for Roman to speak again before bringing it up.

"What I am," Roman said. "Does it ever scare you?"

Thomas thought about it for a moment, before he turned back to stare up at the sky.

"Not really," he decided. "Sometimes I'm scared for you, but I've never been scared of you."

"Never?"

"Never," Thomas said firmly.

"Oh." There was a beat. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," Thomas said. He turned his head, finally meeting Roman's eyes, but his boyfriend seemed unconvinced. "I mean, come on, Roman. You're harmless."

"I could rip someone to pieces with my bare hands."

"Well, yeah, but you wouldn't."

"I'm not harmless."

Thomas sighed. "You could hurt people, but you wouldn't. And I don't think you ever have - not deliberately, at least."

"I would never," Roman said firmly.

"Exactly," Thomas said. "And that's my point. You're good, Roman. You would never hurt anyone. I mean, you dig up graves so you don't have to kill anyone to eat, and you do it regularly enough that you never even get close to going crazy."

There was a beat of silence.

It was... something. Not quite tense, but certainly not relaxed. It was the kind of silence that made Thomas want to say something to break it, but he didn't know what to say.

He didn't want to risk interrupting Roman, either. He had to know what his boyfriend was going to say.

"If I ever went crazy," Roman finally said, speaking slowly like he was choosing his words carefully. "Would you stop me?"

"What do you mean?"

Roman sighed. "If you had to do it, would you kill me? If- if I was no longer me. If I turned into one of those zombies that doesn't think anymore, that- that just hurts people."

"That won't happen."

Roman sat up. "But what if it did? What would you do?"

Thomas stared up at Roman. He searched his face, like he could find the right answer hidden somewhere in his facial features. But, of course, these things were never simple.

"No," Thomas decided finally, breaking the heavy silence. "No, I wouldn't."

"You wouldn't?"

Thomas shook his head. "No, never."

"Even if you had to?"

"I still wouldn't. I won't ever hurt you, Roman. Not now, and not ever."

"But... what if I wasn't me anymore."

"No. Never."

"Never," Roman repeated.

"Never," Thomas repeated, too.

"Oh." Roman swallowed.

Then, Roman let out a dark, humourless laugh that hurt Thomas's heart, tipping his head back and looking into the darkness that was the sky. He stared up into it like he couldn't see the stars anymore, like all he could see was just emptiness above.

Thomas sat up, too. He rested a gentle hand on Roman's shoulder, squeezing it softly.

"Are you okay?"

Roman let out another short, humourless laugh. "I'm a zombie, my dear. I wouldn't say I count as 'okay.'"

"Aside from that. Other than the zombie thing, are you okay?"

Roman paused.

"I don't know," he said slowly. "But... I'm glad. I'm glad you answered that. I- I know I shouldnt be, but..."

He sighed, covering Thomas's hand with his own. It was cold, like ice, but soft like it had been when he was still a human, which felt like eons ago, now.

Life had changed so much over the years, but their love had never wavered.

"It's probably not the right answer, honestly," Thomas admitted. "Morally, I mean. But it's my one."

"Yeah..." Roman trailed off. "Thank you."

"I didn't do anything," Thomas said, trying his best to joke and smile slightly, though it just came off as slightly sad.

Roman's brow creased. He reached out, resting his palm against Thomas's cheek. It was cold, and probably should have felt uncomfortable to Thomas, but, to him, the feeling of Roman's hands on his skin was the most incredible feeling in the world.

"You have already given me everything, my dear," Roman said softly. "You need not give me anything more. Simply exist, and that shall be the greatest gift of them all."

Thomas smiled slightly - a real, genuine one this time, though it was still a little shaky.

"You, too. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I love you," Roman said softly.

"I love you, too."

And then, Roman leant forward, kissing Thomas with the gentleness of someone handling the most precious - and breakable - of gifts. It was cold, of course, sending shivers down Thomas's spine, but the warmth in Thomas's heart outweighed it entirely.

#me #writing #thoman #thomivity #sanders sides #thomas sanders #character thomas #roman sanders #fluff #human au #zombie au #angst

15 notes · View notes

carternate · 3 years

Text

i really dont understand my own feelings

and im fucking terrified of myself.

i refuse to say im okay anymore. my head isnt okay

what im feeling isnt fucking normal

and i take it out on my girlfriend but in the same respect im terrified of telling her shit because i will be exposed. i trust her i want her and i love her more than anything. but i dont know how to explain my emotions anymore. i never did actually. im a fucking mess in general. i hate that i feel stuck in a prison of my own body. its not the dumb ass transgender feeling

its a literal feeling of a cage.

i hate the people in my past. i hate that they still have an impact

i hate that i cant control myself like i used to be able to and that i cant even take my medication because i tell myself im too tough for it lmao. i literally was so close to ending my life, but in an instant this time. not some pussy shit where i begged for help and then it was possible for someone to save me

i almost really just ended it. ended it because i didnt find value in it.

i dont feel good enough and everything seems wrong

but i want to be okay and be good and make it to heaven. i used to have a passion

i used to love god with all my heart but i cant even understand it anymore

its noones fault but my own

and that hurts even more

i cant even try to blame it on another its on me this time

ive lost control

i cant even think long enough to listen in my hour long class.

i thought i was broken before because of a family that degraded me

but whatever the fuck i feel now feels eighty times worse

but i keep it internal and i cant keep it in anymore

im going to fucking explode

im falling apart completely

and im going insane

and i dont feel that i belong here

i literally will sit in my car and think of scenarios

but when i actually start to FEEL its absolutely ridiculous and insane

and SO much.

i try to bring positivity and help anna

and i try to be sure that sentences like this dont happen

but flashbacks hit me hard

the hospital, that week. that first week was insane.

its fucked to say

but i felt like i belonged there. i felt like that could be my home. from the daily vitals,to the little kid that cried in the cornwr, to the creepy ass schizophrenic girl that was my roommate, to jenna, to my freak outs.

i was crazy. but i got to take it out and do it and have people who understood it and tried to help.

geneva ohio. is not a place where i can be okay and myself authentically

i cant even be myself at my fucking work place.

nobody understands shit other than the kids that were there

during our group sessions and even during school i felt like it was okay.

there is just a hole in my head that i can not find anything to fill

im curious about everything and i hve no idea what about

i have questions

so fucking many

and noone wants to hear them

i hate that i cant concentrate

i hate that when i tell my dad im not okay i cant even look him in the eye because all i can picture is coming out of the ambulance and seeing my mom and dad looking at me screaming what hppened

and i have never felt like that in my life.

i cant let go of that. i cant let go of the visual of mallory laying at the edge of my bed before i got sent away to laurelwood looking at me like “fuck dude. you really tried.” she looked sorry for me, but not the kind that people like want. not the kind of compassion

but the scared kind. she looked scared of me. nothing has been the same aince.i want to drown iut my thoughts

and my stupid fucking stutter

and i want to lay in annas arms and cry everything out

but i also want to fucking beat the shit out of someone

and thats not me. im not violent. but i want to like bEAT THE SHIT out of someone. anyone at this point. but whatever

i dont understand how things that are so fucking simple to other people are like fucking complete brain aches for me.

i cant go anywhere alone because i am scared of being physically alone but mentally ive never been more lonely and that scares me.

the story never ends i guess.

i hate how my mind can be spinning in circles and people that say they are there can be right next to me complaining and have no idea i want to jab a knife into my body lol

but then all i would be is a coward if i just ended it all. it would technically be the easy way out and i dont want to be that person. thinking about death doesnt really even scare me anymore, and that thought scares me more than death itself.

in a perfect world i guess everything would be fine

and i would be happy

and never necessarily need to think about things that hurt me or have those little bullets shot at my head with every turn i take.

but thats not reality, and realizing that alone needs

to be a priority that i take.

i probably wont ever live a life without triggers, depression, or anxiety.

and that fucking sucks.

especially because i know that people fake their mental illness just for the attention and they dont have to live with something that prevents them from doing everyday activities or being terrified of little shit

but in my opinion that attention people seek from illness or anything in general is the worst part about it. i hate when people find out about the hospital.

i get embarrassed regardless of how many times people will tell me its okay

like sure its okay. but its not normal. going to a mental institution shouldnt be something everyone does

or everyone knows someone who went. thats just fucked. and i hate that im someone that people will be like “oh emily went to one” or the questions i will get from people are absolutely morbid and NOT their business but i feel obligated to talk about it when people ask. its a fucked up world dude. and sometimes im really fucking sick of living in it.

i just want to be okay again, even if its for a second. just a second of peace and a second of understanding. a fucking break would be nice?

a vacation away with anna and my kitty? if i could get that right now my entire heart would be full. i need two weeks to mentally get myself okay again. but lucky for me that’s not possible, and some may say “welcome to the adult world” and that is such a fucking understatement.

this is never going to be over

and im always going to not be afraid of death and im always going to not know shit about myself and im always not going to treat anyone right and i cant fucking even breathe when im walking yet i still have to work daily. and im so sick of it from beginning to end. and i want my story to fucking end already.

God if you can see this by some small celestial chance you actually give a shit about Earth and its inhabitants fucking help me.

9 notes · View notes

kuroosdumbslut · 4 years

Text

Kaminari, Sero, Bakugou, and Kirishima with an s/o who had to drop out of college

~Aged up~ One hundred percent self indulgent due to the fact i dropped out of college for my own mental health

Kaminari:

Ok so Kaminari is actually the one to being it up first, and for good reason

While he’s already secured a job as a pro hero, you decided to go to college! at the time, it was the logical choice in your mind, but then denki was coming home to you in tears, or very close to tears, due to your class load

obviously the state of the world didn't help with your stress levels and he was so concerned for you

the last straw was when you had a full mental breakdown and just spewed everything weighing down on you, and it broke his heart to see you in such emotional pain

“Baby, sweetheart, you don’t have to go to college. Obviously I’m not going to force you to quit or anything but you're in so much distress...I make enough for like 5 of us, babydoll, if finances are weighing down on your mind!”

he's very sweet, but he's gonna ramble a little, trying his best to calm you down and comfort you at the same time

when you do finally make the decision to drop out, the moment you pressed the withdrawal button, it felt like a ton of weight just disintegrated off of you

kaminari was glad to see you not as stressed almost as soon as you finalized everything

“there you go, baby... always choose your health and happiness over everything, okay?”

he's really encouraging to you and will gladly give you love and affection when you get down and berate yourself for dropping out

Sero:

sero was pretty perspective of how you were feeling, and he could sense that you had an unhealthy amount of stress built up

he wanted to talk to you about possibly cutting back on classes or seeing if he could help you in some way, but it was a bit to late

he had been relaxing on the couch after work, you were in your office getting work done for your classes, but sero was up in a split second when he heard you scream in frustration and then sob

he ran in your office to find you balled up and sobbing, textbooks and note pages strewn all across the room

“Mi amour, come here baby, come here...” he held you close and let you cry into his shirt as he gently rubbed your back

“it’s so frustrating!! I can’t figure it out and I’m so overwhelmed the entire time I’m doing work... I hate it, I fucking hate school...”

it hurt him to see how much school broke you down, but he just sat with you and listened to you rant

“Sero...would you be mad at me if I dropped out? Maybe not forever but for right now?” sero straightened up and pulled yu even closer, pressing a flurry of kisses all over your face and the top of your head

“My love, I’d never get upset at you for that... hell, I don’t blame you for wanting to drop out. I mean, I just went straight out of U.A. and into pro hero work. If you need to, then just drop out. You gotta put yourself first!”

he was right there with you when you withdrew and dropped out too, holding your hand when you started getting shaky and second guessing yourself and was there cuddling you when you decided to take a nap

if you decide to get a part time job? he’s supportive. you want to take some time off from doing anything and just exist for a bit? he’s supportive.

he just wants you to be as happy as possibly <3

Bakugou:

bakugou first notices how stressed you were by the way you were constantly putting homework and classwork before anything else

“I’ll get food later, I have to get this thing in...” “I’ll come to bed in a bit, I have to do this paper...”

He knew you were working hard to just power through this semester, but he could see how much you were neglecting yourself and never giving yourself time to relax... and he could tell you were close to your breaking point

He’s gonna sit down and talk with you before you have a full breakdown

“Hey, babe, I need you for a second.” if you don’t come to him right away, he’s gonna carry you away from your work station and make you sit with him on the couch

“You’re overworking yourself, dumbass. You hardly do anything except school work. Are you okay?” While he knew you were extremely stressed, he didn’t expect you to start tearing up

bakugou frowned, brows pulled together in concern as he scooted closer to you and held you to him. you were shaking, seemingly trying to hold back from fully sobbing

“Hey...baby, look at me...” bakugou, with uncharacteristic gentleness, tilted your head up to look at him and his heart clenched at how sad and exhausted you looked. eyebags, bloodshot eyes from both crying and staring at a screen all day...

“i-i don’t think I can keep up going to school right now...I’m so overwhelmed, Katsuki...” you were quiet, nearly whispering it, but bakugou heard you

“then take some time off...clearly this isn’t working for you. you can’t run yourself into the ground, dumbass. and you aren’t weak for quitting for right now, you’re putting your health first...”

he’s a little awkward and doesn’t exactly know what words to use to reassure you, but it helps regardless

he can see how much stress was released when you finally dropped out and was lowkey heartbroken that you were holding that much stress over school

Kirishima:

he loves you so much, but theres a chance he doesn’t immediately notice your stress due to him trying to go above and beyond at work

he had come home pretty late, probably around 2am. patrol ran late that night and he fully expected you to be fast asleep, so he was surprised to hear you call out to greet him

“welcome home Eiji! I’m in the office!!”

kirishima wandered into the home office and found you attempting to finish an essay. youre eyes were bloodshot and you looked absolutely exhausted

“pebble, you’re up pretty late...maybe you should stop for the night and come to bed with me” he watched as your eyes widened

you frantically explained how much work you had due and how you didn’t have time to take a break, you had to get it in now! you explained the amount of work the professors had assigned and how they were expecting more just because its all online for now

kirishima agreed with you that it was way too much work, picking you up in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom to get you away from the thing thats stressing you out the most

once in the room, you finally broke out in tears. “Eiji, im so exhausted... I just wanna drop out and not deal with it right now, im just getting depressed-”

kirishima wrapped you up in a tight hug, giving you small kisses all over your face “then just drop out for now... you shouldnt be forcing yourself to power through school while youre clearly not mentally okay right now.”

you teared up more but nodded, holding him tightly as you fell asleep with him

the next day you officially dropped out and kirishima could visibily see you let go of stress, slumping in your chair with watery eyes

he knew you would be hard on yourself, but he was glad you admitted that it was too much and decided to take a break from schooling, and he’d be there for you when you tried to beat yourself up over “giving up”

in turn, kirishima also cut back how much extra he was doing as well 😌 he became more aware of both your stress and his own

11 notes · View notes

warmau · 5 years

Text

Love Struck!AU x Monsta X

me: im not love struck. hyungwon: _____ me: pause

Shownu

you walk by and shownu sees it in slow motion, rose colored background and angel hymns playing in his ears

the food on his chopsticks falls right down because he’s still staring at the spot you where just in and jooheon gives him a weird look

when confronted with the idea that he sees you as something more than just a friend he short-circuits

“uh....well....that....well it....that....well...”

minhyuk: it’s ok, take your time

you catch him off guard one afternoon, reading a book recommended by one of his friends

you slip in beside him, pointing at one of the lines

“isn’t this a little too poetic for your taste, hyunwoo?”

his lips part, glasses threatening to slide down his nose as he forgets how to string together a sentence

you smile and a warmth bursts through his huge body that he’s never experienced before

you don’t notice his neck go pink as you lean in even closer

he’s so scared you might hear the white noise blaring through his mind as your arm brushes his

“do you like romance novels?”

you question, curiously and shownu wants to say one thing but all he can do is give out a curt

“i like you.”

Wonho

doesn’t know where to look when you’re in a room

eyes go this way and that way and he starts bothering hyungwon for attention or picking at the lint on his sweater

when you address him, smiley and sweet, he knows his ears are on fire

and that if he makes a quick escape you might not notice

so he always has some outlandish excuse

“kihyun needs me to crack his back - he’s getting so old these days!” “i made plans to go to the market.........in busan” “ouch! i think im having a heart attack - talk to you later?”

closes his eyes and the first image in his mind is you - every time

shakes his head like a confused puppy like: stop thinking about them!

but he can’t,,,,,he’s stuck

“i don’t get it - why do i keep thinking about them?”

kihyun deadpan: “you’re in love”

changkyun: “oh i was just gonna say he’s sick, but i guess that’s the same thing.”

for some reason you’re at the gym before him and wonho debates just turning around and dipping

so he keeps going in and out of the changing room with his duffel bag and everyone is like ..........?

until you spot him and wave and boy damn near drops this heavy bag on his foot out of surprise

you show him that you’re getting stronger, flexing up your arm and wonho just can’t control himself

“you’re so cute”

“what?”

“I MEANT........the dumbbells are just getting cuter........huh............”

Kihyun

suaveness backfires on him very hard

“the weather is so hot today and so are,,,,,,,,,” “and so is?” “and ,,,,,,,,, so are ,,,,,,, these pants why’d i wear jeans in the heat hahaha i need to go”

pickup lines he can never finish and you just look at him quizzically as he tries to save face

will not admit it to anyone but practices greeting you in the mirror

gets caught by shownu who blankly watches kihyun posing in front of the mirror until it’s been fifteen minutes and shownu is like dude, get out - i need to shower

loud and confident usually, but somehow it becomes a little awkward when you’re around

voice cracks on two or three occasions

you get invited to the summer barbecue kihyun is throwing and of course he plans everything perfectly

except for the fact that this is a beach and so everyone is showing up in,,,,,,,beach attire

and when you come running down the beach toward him, kihyun drops the burger he was in the middle of flipping and nearly burns himself on the grill

and you’re like oh shit are you ok and he’s like what do you mean im dandy ,,,,, as he almost puts his hand down on the grill AGAIN

and you have to catch him and scold him for not paying attention

and he whines because “it’s hard to pay attention”

and you’re like why??? it’s easy - just don’t put your hand donw on the fire-

but he’s like no no it’s hard to pay attention because,,,,,,,because

you: because???

minhyuk strolling by munching on his watermelon: because you’re in a swimsuit and kihyun has the mind of a dog

you: wh-

OOP too late, kihyun is chasing minhyuk down the beach with his skewers

Minhyuk

won’t shut up about you

“anyway they were playing the piano with me and they were doing so well even though they said they hadn’t played in YEARS!” “i think they cut their hair a little shorter, it looks nice did you guys see it what did you think?” “oh look they have the game they were telling me about-”

it’s like he’s the daily news alert

but all the news is about you

and when he talks about you - his eyes gleam with sparkles, he almost goes into a day dreamy like trance

if hearts could start swirling around his head, they would

but when he is (rightfully so) accused of having feelings for you

he’s like

“WHAT? WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?”

everyone: our ears hurt because you haven’t stopped talking about them once so ,,,,,, maybe ,,,,,,,, that’s the damn evidence

refuses it before jumping back into a long rant about how adorable and perfect you are

one afternoon, hyungwon decides he’s had enough, so he tells you that you should try beating minhyuk at talking

so you and minhyuk play the compliment game - spewing sweet and corny things about each other back and forth

until you inch close enough that your noses almost brush

and you go

“minhyuk, you’re so pretty far away but up close it’s even better!”

he’s so shocked, flattered, and over the moon that he stares at you speechless

and hyungwon is like “finally. silence”

you start to wrry when minhyuk is frozen for ten minutes straight and you’re like “how do i get him to function again”

hyungwon: idk. kiss him.

Jooheon

faints every time you lay a hand on him

both metaphorically and physically

like you were accidentally pushed against his chest during the bus ride home and next thing you knew he almost blacked out and hit his head on the hand pole

obliviously, you always assume it’s because he’s dehydrated or tired

minhyuk: looking into the camera like he’s on the office

gets all tingly and giggly when you touch his shoulder

makes squeaking sounds when your hand brushes against his

basically becomes a big mushy puddle of heart eyes

and mumbling incoherent sentences of affection

you: omg i think he might be having fever delusions or something

hyungwon: no,,,,,,,,,that’s definitely not it,,,,,,,,,

hates being told he should “just confess” like what the fuck do you mean “just confess” bold of you all to assume he can “JUST CONFESS”

everyone wonders what will happen when you two start dating and jooheon gets to kiss you

like will he just,,,,,,,,turn to dust? probably

you want to join the guys for lunch after their practice but the table is so cramped so you jokingly ask jooheon if “this seat is taken?” will pointing to his lap

never in your life have you seen someone flip their whole plate over to make room for yours and nod so hard you think it might snap their neck

you, embarrassed: o-oh i was just,,,,joking,,,,but,,,,um,,,if it’s ok,,,,,?

jooheon getting ready to just, turn to to jelly when you sit down:

changkyun: if he dies i get the rest of his rice

Hyungwon

hard to read expression when you’re around but sirens are going THE FUCK OFF in his head whenever you as much as smile

anything you ask him or any questions directed at him from anyone else is just answered with a “hehe,,,,yeah”

can’t formulate much of a thought outside of: holy shit they’re so cute holy shit what do i do holy shit just lean up against the wall it’s fine holy shi-

minhyuk: bro what do you wanna eat?”

hyungwon looking over his head at where you’re talking with shownu: hehe,,,,sure

minhyuk: cool hyungwon machine broken

his nervous habit is chewing on his bottom lip and you think he’s just concentrating on music or on something

but head empty. just you. that’s it.

you ask hyungwon to teach you a little about turntables and being a dj

and he’s like “oh sure” but then you stand directly in front of him, back almost against his chest as you play around with the different switches

and he like,,,,,,,seizes function

and you’re like “oo can i try these on?” pointing to the headphones around his neck

and when you reach out to take them off, he just takes a hold of your wrists and you’re like “oh? i shouldn’t touch them?”

and he’s just like hyungwon, c’mon say something cool. say something that won’t be embarrassing like hehe yeah. this is your moment!

“you can touch me anywhere”

“what?”

“............i mean hehe sure.......”

Changkyun

in capital L love with you but pretends he isn’t

crosses his arms and tries to keep a straight face when it’s obvious you’re doing something adorable and everyone else in the room is like ahhhh cute!!!

changkyun, scoffing: it isn’t even that cute...........

wonho: you shouldnt lie with the lord watching changkyun

changkyun: what

when you’re not looking, he steals glances and lowkey hates the fact that later he’ll be trying to work on something

and he’ll remember how you looked today and it’ll make him pause and just,,,,,,,kinda wish he could just walk over and talk to you

there’s really no reason he won’t just ask you out - he’s just being a big baby

you think he doesn’t really like you all that much so you get a bit anxious when asking him for a favor

but you really wanna throw a surprise party for another member so you end up asking changkyun for some help

but when you do, you accidentally hiccup in the same sentence

and you’re like oh no im a fool but

but changkyun just breaks

“how are even your hiccups cute????????”

“wh-what?”

changkyun, reaching his breaking point over a damn hiccup: “oh my god im in loooooove with you”

“wh-what??!?!?!?”

changkyun, laughing without stopping as he pulls you into his arms LOL

jooheon later on in the day: so you’re telling me you confessed to them because. they hiccuped?

changkyun: yeah. im also contacting the genius world record to ask them to put it in as the cutest hiccup to have ever been hiccuped

jooheon: ok. whipped much.

2K notes · View notes

wuvbug-kny · 4 years

Text

too late — kamado tanjirou

↬ tw!! suicidal thoughts

↬ tanjirou x fem!reader x inosuke

↬ genre: angst

“i-i really do like you..um, it wasnt easy to confess b-but..yeah..”

my body shook. my head ached. my anxiety was over the roof. what was i thinking, why would i confess to him?! oh god. im going insane. what was i thinking..

i felt tears in my eyes start to form as my body got hotter by the second. my fists were clenches togethee tightly, nails digging into my palms as my heart raced at an unsteady pace. i gulped. why wasnt he saying anything? why is he just standing there? oh no.. my eyes remained stuck onto the ground as the knot in my throat got tighter. the tears that had formed in my eyes began to fall to the ground, and out of embarassment i lowered my head even more hoping he wouldnt notice.

tanjirou, please dont break me more than i already am broken.

“(y/n)..”

“y-yes?”

“im sorry.

i cant reciprocate your feelings.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

i felt numb. i felt like complete, utter trash.

i felt worthless. i feel worthless.

of course it turned out that way.

why did i get my hopes up? why was i so dumb? to think someone like him would love such a lonely, miserable girl like me.

my heart ached. ever since i felt like the hole in my chest had gotten the biggest its ever been. it hurt, the pain was incredibly painful, i felt like i seeped even more into darkness than the darkness i was emorsed in before.

god, why am i so miserable? what is this life you’ve given me? what is my purpose?

sometimes, no, at all times i just want to disappear.

the knock on my door startled me, causing me to jump up from my laying position on my bed, in result of getting up too fast i had landed on my floor painfully. i grunted in pain as more tears began to spilled out from my eyes.

im miserable..

quickly sitting up, i wiped the tears from my tomato reddened face before sucking everything up as best as i could.

“y-yes?” i replied to the knocking coming from my door.

the knocking got even louder.

confused, i called out again. “y-yes??”

i jumped, shrieking slightly as the door was kicked open. am i under attack? but this is the butterfly estate! scrambling to my bed like the coward i was, i quickly pulled out my blade, pointing it towards the now beaten down door.

“w-who is it??” i shivered.

“(y/n), you bird brain! training has started and everyone is still waiting on you!!”

in came inosuke, wearing his boar mask as usual.

i lowered my blade and sighed shakily, before putting it away. “i-inosuke..you scared me. you could of just answered to me instead of kicking my door open..” i said, getting up from the bed.

“whatever! you should be at training! you’re holding everyone up, you stupid hag!” he huffed, crossing his arms.

i forcefully made myself laugh, even though i was in now way amused by his words.

hes right.

im a burden to everybody.

i shouldnt be here.

i should just die.

im so worthless.

everyone would be better off without me.

without realizing, i felt the warmness of my tears flowing down my face. i felt my heart ache so badly, my body shaking.

unable to hold my stance, i fall to the floor. sobbing.

because im so pathetic.

taking my bruised up hands, i quickly try to wipe the tears away but they just keep coming, and coming. i cant stop. i cant stop. my bubble has bursted, i have no more energy, i have no energy to keep it all in anymore, i cant control myself.

as i was too busy drowning in my negative, self killing thoughts, i was interrupted when my hands were pulled away from my face.

a little taken aback, but still having tears flowing down my face, i looked up.

inosuke..

“what are you, a baby? stop it.” he grumbled as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. his thumb glided across my cheek, flicking my tears away as gently as ever. for a moment i felt my heart warm. this is the first time ive ever been carressed so gently. i loved the feeling, but at the same time surprised as to who i was recieving it from.

“dont cry anymore. i dont like it.” his hands gently carressed my face now as his emerald eyes looked into mine. i felt my heart skip a beat, the empty deep feeling in my chest being forgotten at the very moment. i couldnt look away from his eyes.

for the first time ever, i felt like. i was okay.

i teared up again, but before i could let the tears spill i engulfed inosuke in a hug. an endearing, loving, grateful hug. i sobbed as i buried my face into his chest.

“t-thank you. thank you so much.”

i felt his arms wrap around my shaking figure gently, as he at the same time patted my head.

i was honestly surprised as to what was going on right now. out of all people, inosuke.

you’ve made me so happy. you’ve made me feel safe, okay, and wanted.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

two months had passed ever since tanjirou had turned me down.

honestly, i had nothing against tanjirou. i never expected him to like me, heck, love me back even. i never expected him to reciprocate my feelings. but at the same time, i felt like i still had a chance. i dont know what was going through my mind at the time.

i still loved tanjirou. maybe not as much as before, but i knew i still had the slightesy feelings for him. i try my best to talk to him as if nothing had ever happened. i really just want to move on from it.

as much as i hate myself for it, seeing him and talking to him makes me feel worthless. i hate myself for feeling that way. if i could go back in time and redo everything, i most certainly would.

what hurt me even more was to see how close he had gotten himself with kanao. it was no surprise to me, honestly. kanao is a very pretty girl, and she’s just way better than me in general in regards to demon slaying and skill wise.

no wonder tanjirou would take interest in her.

i was happy for him, i really was. i held no resent towards kanao at all. afterall, it would be petty and childish.

kanao was a dear friend to me and if they really did have chemistry between one another, i do really wish them the best.

i just cant help but pity myself.

“(y/n)!”

i squeaked in surprise as i was suddenly lifted off the ground by a pair of arms around my waste and twirled around. it took me a moment to realize that it was nobody but inosuke, before having a giggling fit.

“i-inosuke! put me down!” i laughed as he started to make plane noises. i felt myself blush as his eyes locked itself with mine, before averting my gaze to block him from noticing my face had turned into a tomato red.

ever since i broke down in front of inosuke and had him comfort me, we’ve gotten a lot closer. not much has changed between us personality wise, but he associated with me way more and always seemed ready whenever id ask him a favor, etc. he also now liked to pick me up and pretend to toss me, or making plane noises as he twirled me around.

he’s honestly like my best friend now. i can actually talk to him about how i feel deep down inside. he listens but doesnt really give much input on it, but i dont mind. its inosuke afterall, what can i expect? all im grateful for is that he listens.

inosuke grinned before setting me back down on the floor. he patted my hat before literally collapsing onto the grass covered ground, yawning and using his arms to rest his head on.

“im tired, (y/n). take a nap with me.” he grunted, patting the spot next to him. i smiled before laying down too, as i looked up at the sky.

“hey, inosu-“ i cut myself off after i had looked at him and noticed he was already out like a light. i giggled a bit. hes such a baby, honestly.

i stared at his face a bit more and noticed how pretty and feminine his features were. his eyelashes were curled and at a beautiful length, his lips slightly parted making him look angelic. his fair skin with no scars made him look like an angel.

jeez, god really do be picking favorites.

i sighed before laying back down on the grass, closing my eyes as i rested my head on inosuke’s chest. i felt myself sleeping into sleep and just let it happen.

this was one of the many times i felt at peace, always with inosuke.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“im telling you, inosuke and (y/n) have a thing going on! have you seen how they are with each other?!” falling onto the floor, zenitsu started to sob. “why, out of all people, him?! a pretty girl like (y/n) deserves better! eUUugGNnN!!”

“what are you guys talking about?” tanjirou asked as he walked into the room, a smile worn on his face as he laughed at zenitsu obviously being overdramatic about whatever it was.

aoi and the other three girls sighed as they continued on eating their lunch.

“zenitsu thinks (y/n) and inosuke are dating and hes freaking out about it because he knows he’ll never get someone as pretty as (y/n).” aoi said, laughing at the last part.

tanjirou froze, before laughing nervously. “aaah, dont say that, im sure zenitsu will find someone one day!”

aoi shrugged, followed on by more giggles coming from sumi and the two others.

“are (y/n) and inosuke really dating?” tanjirou asked, sitting down.

“dont even mention it! agh!” zenitsu cried from his laying position on the ground, before burying his face in his arms again.

aoi rolled her eyes before moving onto answering tanjirou. “well..no, actually yeah, no, we dont know. i mean it looks like it. they’ve gotten a lot of closer and inosuke is always up on (y/n) now. i mean, they’d make a really cute couple! i see the way (y/n) lights up when shes around him.”

“a-ah. i see.” tanjirou said, letting out a slight laugh. “well, im gonna head out to train now. ill see you all at dinner.”

aoi and the three girls said goodbye to him as he made his exit.

tanjirou walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, before stumbling upon the garden. he sighed, walking out with the intention to take a look at the peaceful view of the garden meadow and for some fresh air.

his peace was interrupted, however, as his eyes locked upon two well known people cuddled up on the garden grass, taking a peaceful nap.

his fists clenched, and so did his teeth.

he felt jealousy over power him. he did not realize it, but it was there and he felt it. he just didnt know what it was.

but what he knew, was regret.

that he had let (y/n) slip past him.

#kny tanjirou #tanjirou x reader #demon slayer tanjirou #angst #kny x reader #demon slayer inosuke #inosuke x reader #inosuke kny #im back #:(( <3 #kimetsunoyaiba #demon slayer #fanfic #kny fanfic #kny fandom

123 notes · View notes