Tumgik
#i also miss my mutuals messaging me to talk about it
silverbladexyz · 15 hours
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Important Announcement
Hey... I know that this is quite sudden, but after thinking about it a lot: I've decided to quit Tumblr.
I know that it might seem shocking, and trust me- I don't feel pleased doing this too, but I believe that it is the best decision so that I can actually focus on my life and my faith. Over time, I've also noticed how my health was gradually getting worse, and that Tumblr was slowly but surely exacerbating it. It's been a hard choice to make, but I feel that it is necessary for me.
It was a joy to get to know all of you, and I could never be more thankful to have such an amazing group of individuals who have supported me all this time. I couldn't have made it this far if it weren't for you guys.
I'll keep my blog, and here is my Instagram and Discord (my username is Silverbladexyz because the link is somehow invalid) accounts so that you guys can still chat with me if you want to. Please DM me your Instagram or Discord name so that I know who you are on those social media accounts. I won't be as active on there, but I promise that I'll try to reply to each of your messages :)
@circinuus /// @chuuyas-beloved /// @i-just-like-goats /// @fi-nn-losofia /// @ashthemadwriter-archived /// @chuuyasboner /// @angolicious /// @scarletta-ruan /// @yuugen-benni /// @dazaiyohane /// @yosanosboner /// @voidcat /// @sariel626 /// @xxsigmakinniexx /// @evermourning /// @overlysour /// @chunshiya /// @natimiles /// @oldworldpoolhall /// @invidiia /// @chocsra /// @guacamoleroll /// @riiwrites /// @chiara-hotel /// @heartsfourdazai /// @justcallmesakira /// @atlasnessie /// @justcallmesakira /// @luvfy0dor /// @ruanais /// @saelique /// @jackiepackiee /// @rusmii /// @tsuunara /// @tiredlilguy /// @mygoldenmoonflower /// @ilovechuuy4 /// @wwouldvecouldveshouldve /// @romanticheri /// @hanilessa /// @cakeqingsdead /// @little-miss-chaoss
To my beloved mutuals, followers, and friends: thank you so much for always being there for me every day. Words can't express how much I'll miss writing and talking with you all, and I love each of you very very dearly ❤ Coming online and interacting with you always put a smile on my face, and I'm wishing you all the very best in your lives. I hope that each of you will be able to find true happiness, and just know you'll always be in my heart. Although our journey together on this website may have ended, our life is far from over. There will always be countless more opportunities and moments where we can share our joy together, whether it be Asagiri releasing a new light novel or just reminiscing the good times in our friendships. Don't cry because it's ended, but smile because it happened- and I will always be so thankful for the chance to meet every single one of you.
I'll also keep my roleplay blog up, but I won't run it anymore as well. Thank you to all of my fellow roleplayers who have helped to bring the world of BSD alive to me, and I will never forget the fun roleplays that we have made together. I know that my future successor will be able to do an amazing job at roleplaying Pianoman, and I want all of you to treat them just as well as you have treated me. I'm wishing you guys happiness and success, and may your roleplay blogs flourish as the fandom continues to grow :)
Once again, from the bottom of my heart: thank you. I will never forget you, my dearest friends 🖤
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ante--meridiem · 2 months
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Well. Potentially inadvisable message I sent a few days ago not really expecting a reply to did, in fact, get a reply.
#personal#for those with enough knowledge of blog lore to know what I'm talking about here:#I caved and messaged First Ex/Former Closest Friend again#out of a mixture of the fact that I keep circling back to that friendship breakup on an approximately monthly basis that I knew#I'd never be able to really let it go unless I at least tried once#and the confidence from my knowledge of him that if our positions were reversed *he* would have tried#in any case. He's not sure if we'll succeed in being friends again but he *is* willing to talk#on the condition (which I offered in my initial message) of me not telling any of the people we mutually know#that he ended up having issues with#that we are speaking with#& there is (unsurprisingly since there was clearly a lot missing from the stories I'd gotten) more to said issues than I'd heard about#which it sounds like he's going to elaborate on when we talk#I think the biggest difficulty for me in re-establishing contact like this is going to be accepting that he and my mother#outright despise each other now#which. l mean - I'd never claim she's perfect#she can be very blunt in a way that comes off as just *mean* and hurtful and I've been hurt by that too#but she's also been a much better parent to me than most people's parents seem to be to them#it's possible maybe even likely that if some of our arguments when I was younger had ended in us cutting ties rather than#eventually talking it through that I would see her the same way Former Closest Friend does#but they didn't and she's been at certain points amazingly supportive since#so it's likely I'm going to have a hard time reconciling the version of her he's going to present to me with that#even though I'm totally open to believing that he's justified in how he feels about whatever happened#& I'm not going to be able to process it out loud irl bc that would violate the 'not telling people involved about this' clause#so there may be a lot of venty personal tumblr posts coming soon to a blog near you
17 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year
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idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#delete later#im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty#and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related#replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has#opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg#i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy#purrs#also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old#characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped#landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only#ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing#all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so#sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j#just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i#feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those#friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters#when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me#in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol#* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad)#like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th#the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain#anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but#i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol#also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned#that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all#anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all
12 notes · View notes
toolazytodecide · 1 year
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Damn, I forgot what it was like posting in a popular Fandom
2 notes · View notes
insanechayne · 5 months
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~ ~ ~
#why do I get the feeling that I’m not going to hear from you at all today#and I know you’ll say you’re just really busy so of course I want to be understanding#but then you’ll also tell me how you were watching something or reading something or doing something that is not related to your work#so it’s a subtle hint that you’re ignoring me and/or don’t really want to talk to me#I know it’s not always easy to think of things to talk about when you talk to someone every single day#there’s a reason I’m constantly trying to help carry the conversation and sending you so many things you could choose to respond to#because I know you won’t put that effort into our friendship so I have to be the one to do it instead#but at the same time when you care about someone you can talk to them forever and never have it be a problem#I can talk to my girlfriend every single day and it’s not a chore and we always have something to say to each other#one day I believe she’ll be my wife and then I’ll still be seeing her and talking to her every single day and it won’t be a problem#so it’s not the best argument to make about why you can’t always think of things to say to me or message me about#especially because you could say anything to me and I’d want to hear it and I’d find a way to answer you#I’ve always felt that way for you but clearly that’s never been mutual#I know I’m being petty but it’s just very difficult lately to move past these kinds of things#they’re so constant and they make me feel so shitty all the time#it seems like all I do is check my messages here waiting for you and I can’t live my life otherwise#it seems you’re still the thing around which all else revolves#and I don’t know how to make that stop without walking away and I’m not willing to do that yet#so I’ll just be bothered while I wait here for you and try to distract myself with other things so I don’t feel so bad#I just miss the person you used to be when you liked me#personal
0 notes
landitolover · 4 months
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𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒓, in which, if charles didn’t care for you, maybe a specific red bull driver he doesn’t really like, will.. part one here! ౨ৎ max verstappen x famous!reader
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INSTAGRAM DMS
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maxverstappen1 replied to your story
maxverstappen1
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hey, i’m sorry about the break up
charles never deserved you though
yourusername
haha it’s okay
he didn’t do anything wrong though 😊
it was a mutual break up
maxverstappen1
ohhh, alright
that’s nice to know 😃
TWITTER
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IMESSAGE , MAX & LANDO January 4th, 2024
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max
Lando
lando
Max 🤔
Rare text, what do you need mate?
max
by any chance do you have yns number
lando
oh my god do you
finally have the balls to (attempt) to pull her
max
i’ve always had the balls :/
charles just beat me to it
lando
he was quite charming
max
he’s a cheater, he isn’t very charming
lando
thats why i said ‘was’
max
ok but do u have her number
lando
duh? we’re like this🤞🏼
it’s xxx-xxx-xxx
max
okk thank you very much
lando
of course mate
goodluck you’ll need it
also u will be talked (possibly made fun of)
about in the gc. so be careful..
max
uhm ok mate
bye….. 😃
INSTAGRAM
yourprivate
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Liked by alex_albon, lilymhe, landonorris, and 122 others
yourprivate new year, new me 💆‍♀️
fuck🖕🏼men 🤮
January 14th, 2024
View all 14 comments
alex_albon yk damn well ur the biggest lover girl
→ yourprivate uhmm wdym? i’m not
landonorris i know something u dont 🤫
lilymhe its okay baby 😔
→ yourprivate 😔😔💖💖 ily
georgerussell63 wake up
→ yourprivate get out my private bitch 🤮
→ georgerussell63 cunt
→ yourprivate something u never serve..
danielricciardo wow this post ate 🎀
danielricciardo it would eat even more if u reactivated the main
→ yourprivate i’ll be back in like 9 months
→ landonorris HOLY SHIT ARE U PREGNANT
→ yourprivate NO??? WHAT??? WHY WOULD U THINK THAT???
→ landonorris coz u said 9 months and thats like how long it takes to give birth Idk
→ yourprivate u are so slow gn
IMESSAGE , MAX & YOU January 14th, 2024
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xxx-xxx-xx
are you a rose?
cause i think you’re a catch 😉
yn
oh my god 😂 that was such a sucky
pick up line.. who is this? 😭
xxx-xxx-xxx
your future boyfriend, hopefully
yn
how’d u get my number though
i rlly hope you aren’t a stalker 😭
or i’m gonna contact the police
xxx-xxx-xxx
WAIT NO 😭
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it’s max
i’m sorry lol
yn
oh my god 😭
i didn’t see u as the corny pick up line type
you changed this contact to ‘max’
max
what can i say?
also sorry for freaking you out
i asked lando for your number, i hope you don’t mind
yn
nah its fine 😭
max
are you okay though?
you deactivated, saw it all over twitter
yn
yeah no, i’m ok
well not rlly but I don’t wanna like .. talk about it
max
that’s totally fine
but if you ever need someone to talk to
i’m always free
and i have cats so.. free therapy
yn
thats how u get the girl !
max
charlie should have taken some notes
unsent message
haha i guess i know how to get you now ?
yn
you’re a flirt aren’t you
max
only for you
yn
😭😭
i’ll be back in a minute someone messaged me
max
alright
IMESSAGE , CHARLES & YOU January 14th, 2024
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don’t respond
hi angel, can i come over?
i miss your kisses, cherie
can’t we get back together
yn
no we can’t
charles stop it. i don’t want you
you’re the one who cheated on me
if you were going to miss my kisses so bad, why’d you cheat?
don’t respond
it’s a new year though, new us.
yn
no charles
you need to get over it
i mean, i did
don’t respond
get over it? you deactivated on everything
that isn’t getting over it. you’re avoiding your problems
yn
yeah I’m avoiding you, you’re my biggest one
get a new girlfriend
it obviously isn’t that hard for you..
Delivered
INSTAGRAM
yourprivate
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Liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lilymhe, and 102 others
yourprivate men suck….. (i think he’s cute)
January 17th, 2024
View all comments
lilymhe u better not be talking about ch*rles
→ yourprivate no
landonorris is it ***
→ yourprivate 🤔🤔🤔???
alex_albon i thought u weren’t a lover girl
→ yourprivate i’m not
→ alex_albon caption says otherwise
georgerussell63 yw for the cake
→ yourprivate thanks georgie 😊
INSTAGRAM
charles_leclerc
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Liked by carlossainz55, pierrepasly, arthur_leclerc, and 1,309,192 others
charles_leclerc overrated
January 23rd, 2024
View all 1,099 comments
user ohh ik yn is laughing at his silly ass
user he’s going dark 🖤⛓️
user he wanna be aesthetic so fuckin bad
user this is not it ‼️ archive this post ‼️
user yeah, ur overrated
→ user we luv a self aware king
user not everyone dragging him in the comments 😭
→ user cause we all love yn 💆‍♀️
lewishamilton be so fr you have no sense of fashion, m8 😂
carlossainz55 🖤
landonorris yeah this post is not ittttt
alex_albon alright mate….
danielricciardo who did not cheer! 😂😭
pierregasly 🔥
TWITTER
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TWITTER
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IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU February 14th, 2024
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max <3
hey :)
happy valentines 🤍
yn
hii maxie
happy valentines! 💌
max <3
i bought you a little something
since you love snoopy
and me 😉
yn
you got one thing right
max <3
wowww
nevermind then
yn
kidding 🙄🙄
max <3
i’m picking you up
is an hour enough time
yn
yess
see you sooon 😊🤍
max <3
🤍
IMESSAGE, “YN FANCLUB 😊” February 15th, 2024
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landoooo
how much r we betting that he did it
alexito
£100 he didn’t
lil 🎀
£100 he did
landoooo
i’m team he did it
georgie
he aint do shit 😂🔥
i’m team he didn’t do it
lil 🎀
is alex holding u gunpoint ???
landoooo
facts
max isn’t a pussy he def said something at least
yn
hi guyyyyssss
what are you guys talking about
georgie
we’re betting on ur little bf
did he ask you out
lil 🎀
ok wow 😭 straight to the point
yn
he did 😊😊😊
lil 🎀
HOLY SHIT
HAHAHAA
ALEX, GEORGE,
landoooo
PAYYY UPPP!!!! 💰
alexito
GTFOOO
georgie
🔥🔥 my ass is not paying
yn
u better pay them
also £100 is crazy???
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look at what he got me 🥹 and he’s such a cutie
lil 🎀
SNOOPY 😭 I WISSHH
so down bad
🥹🥹 the cutest
yn
i cried 😔 he’s adorable
alexito
u guys are so cute
i hope it lasts!!
landoooo
daniel asked if u bringing back the main
cause like ur happy now
yn
2025 my year
plus u guys are in my priv why does it matter
georgie
right lmfao 😭
congrats on the bf though 🥳
hopefully he doesn’t turn out like our
good ol’ friend charlie!!!!
alexito
mate sthu
respectfully
georgie
wow that makes it a whole lot better, thanks m8
lil 🎀
how about u both sthu
INSTAGRAM
maxverstappen1
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Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, and 1,220,218 others
maxverstappen1 and here’s to my baby :)
June 3rd, 2024
View all 1,101 comments
user didn’t expect a soft launch from max fuckin verstappen 😨
user HELLO???
user this girl has style.. dressing him up? 😍😍
→ user I noticed the style change, didn’t expect all this tho
user i just know shes hot
user stop soft launching i need to know who it is
danielricciardo lucky man
→ maxverstappen1 i am very lucky
landonorris cutie
→ maxverstappen1 😘
→ alex_albon it’s official: lando is the one getting soft launched
→ landonorris shhh people aren’t supposed to know
lilymhe she’s the loml
georgerussell63 🤮🤮🤮
→ maxverstappen1 get out - the girl
→ georgerussell63 🤓🤓☝️☝️
IMESSAGE, MAX & YOU June 13th, 2024
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max <3
the sunset is in two hours
i’m picking you up
and we’re going to the beach to watch it
yn
😭😭 okay max
max
see you soon :))
yn
yeah, i love you 🤍
max <3
say that again in person
not over text 🙄
yn
okay max 😭😭
max <3
i love you though
INSTAGRAM
maxverstappen1
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Liked by lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 103,021 others
maxverstappen1 starry eyes sparking up my darkest nights.
June 13th, 2024
View all 1,001 comments
user AAUGGHH IM GOING CRAZY
user why are the captions so romantic… secret artist ? 😨
→ user lol she’s probably writing them for him
user charles gtfo 😭😭
user i love them (idk who she is)
landonorris 4 months tmr cutie 😍
→ maxverstappen1 i love you baby 🥰
→ user 4???? WHAATTT
alex_albon tell her to stop talkin abt u bro 🤦
→ maxverstappen1 no can do buckaroo
redbullracing our driver sure has some pretty good captions
lilymhe my gf 💖💖
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IMESSAGE, CHARLES & YOU August 5th, 2024
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don’t respond
you aren’t smart
yn
huh
don’t respond
you’re dating max?
is this just some petty thing ? cause i don’t like him?
yn
uhm no lmfao 😭
yeah i’m dating him though
don’t respond
is he better than me?
yn
yeah lol
100%
don’t respond
you know, he isn’t really the type to commit
yn
noted ? pretty sure he would’ve left by now
if that were the case lol
don’t respond
ok.
yn
lmfao.
You have blocked this person
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
🎶 let the light in : lana del rey (feat. father john misty)
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Liked by landonorris, redbullracing, alex_albon, and 2,871,292 others
yourusername 🎀
October 1st, 2024
View all 3,202 comments
user OH MY GOD
user the man..
user i fell to my knees
user who is that
user my girl came back better than ever
user FINALLY ????
user she came back and started to soft launch a man gn
lilymhe wowwww 😍😍 i missed ur main acc posts
danielricciardo SERVED CUNT 💋
→ yourusername mwa 😚
danielricciardo i prayed for times like these
maxverstappen1 last slide kinda kinky
→ yourusername u wish, never horny on the main
→ user LMFAOO
landonorris ooooo let the light innnn
georgerussell63 odd post for ur first one back
→ yourusername sthu
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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Liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, and 1,200 others
yourusername redbull is my fav btw
October 8th, 2024
View all 2,292 comments
user her smile ☹️🤍
user THAT DRINK IS SO YUM
user my aesthetic queen 🐳
user mystery man u are lucky
user she’s so captivating
user UGHHH 😔😔☹️☹️
charles_leclerc drink company’s don’t suit u
→ maxverstappen1 lol
→ user LMFAOO
→ user embarrassing urself...
redbullracing 💙💙💙
→ yourusername 🩵
landonorris papaya better actually ☝️🤓
→ yourusername errmm 🤓
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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Liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,110,210 others
yourusername i want to wear his initial on a chain ‘round my neck.
October 10th, 2024
View all 1,209 comments
user m.. suspicious
user is that not max’s new cat
user shes so cutesy
user IS THE CAPTION A LYRIC HELLOOO
user white men always win her over
landonorris mmmmmmmmmm 3️⃣🏆
→ yourusername sthu😭😭😭
→ user bro tryna give us easter eggs
lilymhe that bagel looks rlly fucking good
→ yourusername IT WAASSS
danielricciardo my bf guys
→ yourusername 😍 -m
redbullracing 🐐🐐🐐
TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername
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Liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe, landonorris, redbullracing and 3,101,119 others
yourusername new ep soon. 6 songs. ‘solo, tiwwchnt, ciwyw, dbm, sdg, and getaway car.” i hope u enjoy it.. out the 12th ! <3
November, 4th 2024
View all 5,110 comments
user i’m in a getaway car too queen
user “and here’s to my real friends” 2019 rookies & lily 🥲
→ yourusername my babies 4eva
user DONT BLAAAMEEE MEEE, LOVE MADE ME CRAZY 😩
user who cried and screamed listening to this album
user i brought a 🔪 to a 🔫 fight
user AHHHHHHHH
user thank u for yn’s not so mystery man but thank u for this ep ☝️☝️
landonorris used to being the GOAT
→ yourusername 🐐
danielricciardo getaway car on LOOP 🔂
maxverstappen1 but would u run away with me ?
→ yourusername yes!
→ user WHAATT
→ user this confirms everything basically
lilymhe so proud of u wifey 🤍🤍
→ yourusername mwaaa 💋
georgerussell63 i support this
→ yourusername thanks pretty princess
→ georgerussell63 nevermind
alex_albon lily and i will be listening on repeat
TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
maxverstappen1
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Liked by yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, and 3,440,292 others
maxverstappen1 you said you love me, i say something back.
November 14th
View all 3,101 comments
user THE CHARLES SHADDEEE
user oh my hod. i adore them.
user ugh they’re the most bf gf couple ever
user charles could never LOOL
user these pictures im on the floor
user they’re my endgame
lilymhe she’s so cute in these pics
→ maxverstappen1 she’s always cute
danielricciardo FAVS
landonorris when they solo >
→ maxverstappen1 you’re the reason why i’m with her, thank you 😄
→ landonorris of course mate
christianhorner congratulations! happy for the both of you 🍾
georgerussell63 this is so goat coded
→ maxverstappen1 wow thanks
yourusername happy 9 months baby 💋
→ maxverstappen1 ik houd van je 🤍
→ user NINE. MONTHS.
→ user STOP NINEE…😭😭😭
yourusername wow we’re so adorable
arthur_leclerc thank you for making yn happier than my brother ever did 🙏🏼
→ maxverstappen ofc m8
→ user LMFAO EVEN HE’S TIRED OF CHARLES
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౨ৎ finally… i posted… so SO so sorry for not posting in awhile, this took so long to post but 😭😭 here u gooo…. also thank u guys so much for 400 !!! i love u all <333 💋
taglist: @landovilla @moneygramhaas @ch3rryknots @amoosarte @1655clean @dark-night-sky-99 @kortneej81 @he6rtshaker ౨ৎ
2K notes · View notes
webslingingslasher · 1 year
Note
i'm a sucker for angst to fluff. what if parker's friends say some mean things ab your body but parker doesn't defend you. that night, you won't cuddle him, you won't even sleep in the same bed because you don't wanna disgust him... and peter has to make it up to you.
parker is a dunce!!! peter supremacy!
Peter had two sets of friend groups. 
The first one was the original one. Kids he grew up with, suffered through high school and flew into the freedom of college with him. The group you knew the most of, they were the closest to him and nearly the entire group became your friends too. Weekends spent smashing drinks and staying up too late before hitting up a diner for greasy burgers at four in the morning. 
Then the second group, which you did not know well, don’t know how Peter knows them and can’t fathom why Peter would entertain them. 
It’s split like this. 
With friend group A, he’s Peter.
With friend group B, he’s Parker. 
You don’t like Parker; not one bit. 
Parker can be stark, blunt, bold and cocky. 
It was the friend group, they made him believe he was one of them so sometimes he acted a little too much like them. It wasn’t ever too bad, just the stuff you know he normally wouldn’t feed into, he gorged. 
His friend, leader of the group, Nick, said it in passing. It’s not the first time you met, granted you try to spend as little time as possible with them but you also won’t give them the cold shoulder. The mutual understanding with friend group B is that you both are there for Peter’s sake, it just makes things easier. 
Nick threw his beer back, foam swirled to the top. His long arm extended to the seat next to him, his watch clicked against the chair top. 
“I’m surprised you didn’t bag someone with a better body, Parker.” A sharp wink is thrown at your boyfriend, and in response he snorted, “yeah, right.” 
It was sarcastic, you’ll give him that. But he didn’t give more, you waited for the ‘real funny, but don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.’ However, he just rubbed your shoulder and sent a small smile, almost like he was saying, ‘you know how it is.’ 
You didn’t miss the tiny curl of Nick’s lip when you shook Peter’s hand off your arm. 
If he couldn’t stand up to his friends over a shit comment then why would you let him put his hands on your body, knowing everyone thinks he could do better?
—------------------------------
Peter frowned when you pulled away from his grasp, he was going for a hug but you floated away. You were quiet on the ride back, not starting conversation but not letting it fail either. 
If Peter could describe your emotion right now it would be ‘fine.’ 
“C’mon, gimme a hug.” 
You cross your arms, “you sure you want your hands on me?” 
Peter reaches out and tries to pull one hand back with the other but his right hand breaks free and grabs you, “I can’t control them! They need you too much.” 
Sometimes it’s really, really hard to be upset with him. 
“I’m gonna take a shower,” you pull away, forcing yourself to stand up for yourself, if the situation was reversed you’d shut it down at the dinner table. Not smile sympathetically and give him an ‘oh well!’ 
“Want company?” 
Disappointment covers your features, “not really.” 
He wouldn’t stand up to defend the body he loves but he wants to be first in line to use it. 
“Oh. Okay, if you want I’ll make us some ice cream cones and set up a movie?” 
You shrug, “sure.” 
Peter knows what’s wrong but he views it as a boundary issue between his friends and him, not you. He knows what he needs to do but doesn’t want to involve you further. 
That message doubles down when you told him you would sleep on his couch tonight, he woke you up after the movie to take you to bed when you shrugged him off, “I’ll sleep here tonight,” that never happens, ever. 
“No, c’mon, I’ll carry you.” 
His hands slipped under your thigh when you rolled over, “if it wasn’t so late I’d be at home. Consider yourself lucky that I’m still here.” 
So, Peter presses a kiss to your temple with an “alright, honey. Goodnight, we can talk in the morning, okay?” 
When he walks away you mumble under your breath, “hope you dream about girls with better bodies.” He hears you, it takes everything in him to not bring you with him. 
—----------------------------------
Noise woke you up. 
The room was bright, sleeping in the living room left you exposed to nearly every window in the apartment. Peter’s room was dark and cool, if you were in there it could be well into mid morning before you rose. 
There was a blanket on you that wasn’t there last night, it’s one from Peter’s room, he keeps an extra by his bed for you. The sun peering in warmed up the room and you started to feel just a little too warm. 
You almost forgot why you were awake until you heard a cabinet shut loudly and a soft curse murmured from the kitchen. Peter was up early making breakfast, you know he feels largely guilty. It almost makes everything okay. 
It took heat swarming your face for you to pull the blanket away, the cool breeze from his ceiling fan felt really good. You yawn, then cough from a dry throat. 
“Baby?” 
You sniff, nothing more than a harsh breath, “morning.” Your voice croaks from the couch, you hear shuffling, steps get louder until you looked up at his face peering over you. 
“I slept like shit, how about you?” 
You stretch your arms over your head, “no complaints.” 
Peter recognizes you’re still mad. 
“Waffles or pancakes?” 
You grin, “french toast.” 
Peter leans over the back of the couch, his lips puckered. “Deal,” you push his chin away. “No kisses, you’re on time out.” 
He wanted to wait until after breakfast but he really can’t last that long without a kiss. 
“Okay, come here.” 
You got up and followed him, he grabbed his phone sitting on the counter and gestured to taking a seat at the breakfast bar. Peter unlocked his phone and tapped around, he handed it towards you, you looked at him confused before he wiggled it. “Take it, read it.” 
Taking his phone you looked down, it was blurry and you had to blink a few times. Peter busy with moving around the kitchen. 
A text thread between him and Nick. 
“hey man, I know you didn’t mean anything by it but you hurt some feelings by that comment tonight. From here on out no jokes on or about her, cool?” 
“Ah shit man, my bad. I didn’t mean to get you yelled at, no jokes about the lady in front of her from now on.” 
“I mean don’t joke about her, ever. It’s not cool to me, and it disrespects my girlfriend.” 
“Say less, I’ll tell the guys, no more jokes about parker’s girl.” 
“Appreciate it, man.” 
A small pout takes over your face, he texted it last night after you got home. If you can track it back it would’ve been around the time you were in the shower, unprompted he stuck up for you. 
Peter stood up for you, he had your back. 
You assumed he didn’t, but he just didn’t make a scene. He kept cool and calm until he was back at home, in regards to not embarrassing you or his friends and maybe damaging either relationship. 
You click your tongue, your boyfriend meets your eyes, he’s awaiting a response. 
“Well, now it’s hard to be mad.” 
“I will always defend your honor, sweetheart. Just because I don’t do it at that moment doesn’t mean I wont, okay? I love you and you are absolutely the hottest woman I could ever bag, alright?” 
You respond with countless kisses and cuddles, Peter needs to nearly peel you off his body so he can use the stove safely, but not one complaint utters from his lips. 
3K notes · View notes
literaryavenger · 4 months
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New Year's Eve
Summary: A game of two truths and a lie reveals to the team a fact about the you that Bucky can’t seem to stop thinking about.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Female Reader
Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Language 'cause why not. A lot of fluff. My poor attempts at being funny. Mutual pining, idiots in love. Self-deprecating thoughts.
Word Count: 3.2K
A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! Thanks for all the messages when I was sick, I'm finally feeling better and I'm negative for Covid! I really wanted to post something for New Year's Eve and this came from a fever dream I had when I was sick, lol. I hope it's any good and someone enjoys it! A particular thank you to @ordelixx for helping me with this story!💘I've only started posting here about a month and a half but I'm really enjoying it and feeling more and more comfortable in my writing. I hope I'm also getting better at it. Anyway, I have big plans for the New Year that I hope you'll enjoy! This year hasn't been great for me, but I'm planning on working harder than ever to make sure the next one is a year I can be proud of. I hope you guys have a nice last day of 2023 and an amazing start of 2024! Love you all.💘
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“Ok, your turn, Kill Bill. Two truths and a lie, go.” Tony says, referring to the fact that you fight with swords, making you roll your eyes before you join in on the laughter.
“Ok, uhm...” you try not to look at anyone so you don’t give away the answer “I have a teddy bear that I sleep with, I have bungee jumped from the top of the tower and I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss.”
You look back up to the room and wait for their guesses.
It’s a Friday night and the people that remained in the Tower for the holidays decided to have a little game night.
Every year the same people stay around, having nowhere in particular to go, and spend Christmas together. 
Clint and Scott usually spend this time with their families, this year Thor decided to go to New Asgard with Bruce and Loki to visit Val and Korg, and Peter decided to spend it with aunt May and Happy.
You usually alternate between going to visit your family and staying in the tower each year, and this one was your turn to go to your first home.
You came back the day after Christmas, never being one to miss Tony’s New Year’s Eve party that’s gonna happen in two days now.
“Well, we know she has a teddy bear.” Wanda says.
“Do we know that?” Tony turns to you, narrowing his eyes. “Do you have one?”
“Yes, she does, we’ve seen it” Natasha answers for you while you glance at Bucky, praying he doesn’t put together that they’re talking about the teddy bear he gifted you for Valentine’s Day this year along with flowers. 
Natasha and Wanda were more happy than you when you told them, sustaining that he did it because he liked you until you pointed out that he gave flowers to them too, because he’s sweet and a gentleman and that’s just who he is.
They wouldn’t let up on the fact that neither of them got a teddy bear though, and you would have agreed with them but Bucky never really did anything else about it so you decided to let it go and not read too much into it.
You're brought back to the present by Tony.
“Ok, so she has one. Then it’s gotta be the New Year’s kiss, everyone has had one at least once in their life,” he was looking at your reaction very closely while talking, but you did your best to keep an easy smile and not give anything away.
“Even Captain Virgin over there had one last year.” he adds vaguely waving towards Steve’s general direction. 
You crack at the nickname and at the undignified sound Steve made while blushing and glancing at Nat that shared that kiss with him.
“Tony, there’s no way that she bungee jumped from the roof without us knowing, that’s gotta be the lie.” Sam interjects, also watching you closely for any signs of a reaction that you manage not to give.
“Alright, just take your guesses, people.” You say to the group.
“New Year’s Kiss.” Tony all but yelled, Natasha and Wanda agreeing with him.
“Bungee jump.” Sam says and Steve and Bucky agree, then they all seem to hold their breath as they wait for your answer.
It’s not a surprise that even these stupid little games cause a lot of competition amongst the team.
“Neither.”-you finally said and let out a laugh when they all groan in annoyance while taking their shots for guessing wrong.
“WAIT- you bungee jumped off the ROOF? When?!” Steve seems more concerned than anything.
“Well, you know a few months ago when we happened to all be on different missions at the same time?” They nod, not knowing where you're going with this “Clint and I came back first from ours, we were bored and there was no one around to stop us from doing anything stupid so…” you trail off, shrugging while laughing. 
Steve looks shocked, Sam is laughing his ass off while Tony immediately goes to look for the security footage.
They all cheered while watching you throw yourself off the roof, Clint's yells and laughter could be heard, and then Steve shakes his head while joining you in the laughter when you see Clint take his turn and scream like a little girl while you fall to the ground laughing on the video. 
Once you all composed yourselves, Tony pokes Wanda’s arm “I thought you said she had a teddy bear.” he's looking at her like she brought him on a treasure hunt and then betrayed him and left him for dead on a deserted island.
“She does! She got it from-” you interrupt her before she can finish the sentence, blushing a little and avoiding Bucky’s eyes.
“I do have a teddy bear, I just don’t sleep with it.” you say, shrugging.
“Oh, come on, that’s cheating!” Natasha whines.
“It’s really not, just because I do have one it doesn’t mean I didn’t tell a lie about it” you laugh at her pout.
“Wait a minute, so you’ve never had a New Year’s kiss?” Tony looks at you like you suddenly grew two heads.
“It’s not a big deal. Funny thing is, I have had boyfriends during New Year’s Eve, I just never happen to spend the day with them.” you say absentmindedly while thinking back at all the parties you’ve been to over the years to celebrate the new year.
“Really?” it's so quiet you almost missed it, your eyes snapping up to meet Bucky’s that were already looking at you.
“Is that so hard to believe?” The room seems to go quiet as everybody looks at you two, but you're too focused on each other to notice.
“I didn’t- I mean…” his cheeks started to turn a little pink as he seemed to have trouble finishing his sentence “It’s just you’re very pretty, who wouldn’t want to kiss you?”
You didn’t know what to say to that, you start blushing too while opening and closing your mouth a couple of times, looking like a damn fish.
You settle for a quiet ‘thank you’ with a smile that he shyly returns, neither of you noticing the glances passed by everyone else.
The whole team is convinced that there’s something between you and Bucky, but both of you always deny it and don’t seem to read too much into each other’s actions, always dismissing the glances and lingering touches as friendly affection even though you’re not really that close.
But really what else could it be?
The team lets the moment end and the game goes on, everyone keeps drinking and having fun until it gets really late and you all decide to call it a night.
Bucky goes to his bedroom and gets ready for sleep but he can’t seem to focus on anything else but you.
He really doesn’t understand how can anybody see your pretty self when you’ve just woken up, no makeup and your eyes full of sleep and not want to kiss you, let alone when you are all dolled up in a pretty golden dresses like you do every New Year’s. 
Every year it gets harder for him not to just grab you and kiss you, hell every day is pretty much torture to see you around the Compound and not get to be with you the way he wants to.
But he has to keep his hands to himself because there’s no way you could actually like him like that. 
He’s even tried to drop hints here and there like giving you the teddy bear for Valentine’s Day but, except for the cute shade of pink that your face turned, you still didn’t seem all that interested.
Still, that didn’t stop him from thinking what it would be like if you did like him and fantasize about being your first New Year’s kiss and maybe even your last first kiss.
At the same time you were in your own room getting ready for bed while your own thoughts kept going back to the moment you shared with Bucky in the living room. 
You didn’t know if you were more embarrassed because you actually told the team you’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve or happy because Bucky called you pretty.
If it was anyone else you wouldn’t even think twice about it, but coming from him it just felt like you were being complimented for the first time ever. 
Everytime you thought about it you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, and at this point the moment was pretty much on loop in your mind.
The more you think about it the more you feel your face heat up, sleep not coming easily as you slip into Bucky filled dreams.
The next day everybody’s hanging out in the living room, most of them nursing a hangover from last night. You get ready for a last minute shopping trip to try and find a new dress for New Year’s Eve.
When you get to the living room you see Steve grinning at a disgruntled Tony, Wanda, Sam and Natasha who are obviously very hangover and nowhere near as amused as the blonde supersoldier. 
Bucky’s attention is on you as soon as you're in his field of vision and no one fails to notice it, except you of course, your own attention on Wanda and Natasha sprawled on the couch.
“Well, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to come shopping with me,” you start watching from one to the other, as amused as Steve at everyone’s inability to contain themselves when drinking. “but I don’t think that’s happening.” 
“Bite me, YLN.” Is all Nat says.
Wanda, on the other hand, is a little gentler. “I can come with you, if you want.” she says sweetly.
“That’s okay, Wands.” you smile at her “just rest and drink lots of water.”
You turn around, saying bye to everyone and making your way out. As soon as the doors of the elevator close, everyone turns to Bucky that's not even pretending not to be staring anymore.
Not that anyone could ignore the longing look on Bucky’s face as he watches you walk away.
“Buck,” Steve starts talking, glancing at everyone before setting his gaze back on his best friend. “we need to talk.”
“Okay…” he slowly drags out, unsure if he even wants Steve to keep going.
“Well, we’ve been noticing some things lately…” He’s unsure of how to say this. “Between you and Y/N.”
Bucky’s cheeks start to turn a slight shade of pink, but he’s still not sure where Steve’s going with this so he says nothing.
“So we thought” he gestures around at everybody. “that maybe we should-”
“We know you like her, and we want to help you get with her.” Tony interrupts Steve, quickly getting to the point.
At Steve’s glare, Tony merely raises his hands in surrender saying, “Listen, Capsicle, I’m way too hungover to take the panoramic route. Let’s just get this over with.”
“Yeah, Stark’s right.” Sam says, turning Bucky whose face is fully red now. “You have a weak ass game, man. Let us help you.”
They all look at the brunette supersoldier while waiting for his answer. He chews on his lip while looking at the expectant faces of his friends, before letting out a deep sigh.
“How would you even help me?” He says quietly, neither accepting nor denying their help just yet.
“Well, we know Y/N,” Wanda says.
“Yeah, we can tell you what turns her on.” Natasha smirked, before Wanda flicks her ear making her let out an ‘ow’ with a slight pout.
“What she means is,” she glares at Natasha “we can tell you what she likes, you know. Maybe help you get closer to her.”
Bucky shakes his head lightly “This is not a good idea. And it doesn’t even matter if she doesn’t like me.”
Wanda and Natasha seem to have a silent conversation, ending with Natasha raising her eyebrow at Wanda and Wanda just sighing with a soft ‘fine’.
“She does like you.” Wanda turns back to Bucky.
“She’s just convinced that you don’t like her like that.” Natasha says with a roll of her eyes.
Bucky still wasn’t completely convinced, but he agreed nonetheless. Maybe it was the glimmer of hope the girls gave him, but if there was even the slightest chance you could actually like him, he owed it to himself to try. 
So he let the team make a plan to get you guys together, hoping to god he wouldn’t come to regret it.
You come home a few hours later, super excited to have found the perfect dress for the party the next night.
Bucky thought you were just so cute, all smiles and giggles.
Wanda and Nat talked you into having the last girls night of the year, although it didn’t really take much convincing.
And so the plan begins.
You’re relaxing on your bed, Wanda lying next to you, your head on her lap, and Nat sprawled on the love seat near the window close to your bed.
You’re wearing bathrobes, sheet masks on your faces as you watch a cheesy romcom that you’re so embarrassingly into you don’t even notice the girls exchange a look and nod at each other.
Wanda clears her throat and then begins talking, as casually as she can. “So, how come you never told us you never had a New Year’s kiss?”
They had to approach the subject somehow, right?
“I don’t know,” you say absentmindedly and then shrug, your attention still on the Tv. “didn’t think it was important.” 
“Sure it isn’t.” Nat said, and her tone took your attention away from the movie for the first time since it started.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Tasha?” she simply shrugs, an innocent look in the face.
“It doesn’t mean anything” she says, her attention seemingly on the movie “I mean, if it doesn’t bother you, it doesn’t bother me.”
“Why would it bother me?” you frown, you don't understand what's so weird about this.
“Well, some people might find it a little…” Wanda trails off.
“Sad?” Natasha ends for her.
“It’s not like I’ve never kissed anyone.” you're starting to get a little defensive.
“We know that, sweetie.” Wanda coos, stroking your hair while you look up at her.
“We really didn’t mean anything by it.” Natasha ends, giving you an apologetic look.
“Yeah, whatever.” is all you say, and you turn your eyes back to the tv, your attention nowhere near it.
Natasha and Wanda can basically hear the gears turn in your head and give each other one last glance. 
Part one of the plan is complete.
The next day goes through like usual, the team spending basically the whole morning together.
It’s a tradition, having the last breakfast of the year together, watching the last movie, having the last lunch and so on. Doing all the lasts together.
It’s silly, but it’s a tradition you've all come to be very fond of. 
The afternoon comes and you and the girls spend it getting ready for the party, last night’s conversation almost forgotten.
Almost.
As you got to the party the music was deafening before you even stepped out of the elevator and, once you did, you were immediately immersed in a sea of perfume and cologne and, like every other Stark party extravaganza, you didn’t know about 98% of the people there. 
You quickly find the team, as outgoing as most of them are, you usually spend most of the night together because it’s the last night of the year, last party and, again, it's your tradition.
You talk, you joke, you laugh but the more you drink the more you keep thinking about your conversation with the girls last night.
Was it really that sad that you’ve never started a new year with a kiss?
Midnight came sooner than you would’ve liked and your teammates decide to ask you a sobering question.
“So, who are you kissing?” Tony asks very casually.
You turn around confused, the team’s eyes all on you. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, nobody told you?” Sam says, looking around him “We’re all kissing someone tonight.”
“I- You- What?” you glance towards Bucky so quickly he almost thought he imagined it.
“Well, Romanoff is kissing Rogers, I’m obviously kissing Pepper and Wanda is kissing Wilson.” Tony said, before specifying while pointing at the last two “As friends, obviously.”
“So, you’re all kissing someone?” You look at everyone except the one person you actually want to look at.
Something inside of you just believes that he would nod too and a beautiful woman that you could never compare to would appear at his side.
“Well,” Steve starts. “not all of us…”
He trails off and, following his gaze, you land on the very pair of blue eyes you were trying to avoid.
Suddenly everyone else scatters and it was just you and Bucky. You don't know what to say, but you feel like you can't look away from him now.
What the hell is happening to you?
You’re talking before you can even stop yourself “You know, we could also kiss. As friends.” you add, realizing what you just said, your eyes wide with your own surprise.
He’s about to say something, but you don’t give him a chance to get a sound out before you’re backtracking so fast you might actually fall out the window.
“You don’t have to. Obviously. It’s not like I’d make you.” you chuckled awkwardly, but you can’t stop yourself from rambling “Unless you wanted to. But why would you want to? It’s not like you’re missing anything. I’m not anything special.”
You can hear the countdown starting, but it sounds distant to your ears as your heart pounds faster. “I mean, I’m sure you’re a good kisser. Why wouldn’t you be? Not that you’re like a lady’s man.”
Bucky glances around him, the team giving him encouraging looks as they near zero and you just keep going “But like you were, you know. Not that it’s a bad thi-”
You're thankfully interrupted abruptly by Bucky’s lips on yours just as everyone yells ‘Happy New Year’ and gold and black confetti starts falling down on you.
You can't even begin to comprehend what's happening but your body does, kissing him back almost immediately.
It feels like forever and also too soon when he pulls away, you can't even hearing the chaos around you anymore.
All that exists is you and Bucky and his eyes and his arms around your waist and yours around his neck and his lips that you wanted to kiss again and kiss forever and never stop.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that” he says after a few seconds. Or maybe days. Weeks? Hours? It doesn’t matter.
All that matters is the bright smile he gives you when you say “Me too.”
He kisses you again, but this time the spell is broken by the team’s whistles and cheers. 
When you pull away you’re both blushing a little, you glance around you and see all the smug faces of the idiots you love to death, Bucky’s attention never leaving you.
“And by the way,” Bucky says, gaining your attention once more. “you have more qualities than you think,” he then pointed at your chest “You have this.”
You looked down to where he was pointing before saying “I do have great tits, yes.”
When you looked back at him he was blushing even harder and looked like he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact, while you were more relaxed now that the kiss took away all the awkwardness, but trying hard not to laugh. 
“... I meant heart” he said after a few moments of silence.
“Either or.” you answered, shrugging and when you heard the snickers of the team around you, you couldn’t help but join them, followed by a still blushing Bucky.
Yep, this year is definitely gonna be an interesting one.
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mafiadad5 · 2 months
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Try, try not to think about us in that way.
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part 1// Genre- smut/ kinda plot?
Warnings/ au- best friends to lovers, 18+, unprotected (wrap it up), degrading, hint of mutual masturbation (bad at balancing attention tho so mostly y/n…), auralism, blindfold/ touch deprivation, y/n’s a little desperate…, may have forgotten things
Bestfriend!Chenle × fem!reader
Word Count- 3.5k+
a/n- I’m afraid part 1 is better plz go read, no proof read lolz… anyways hope u like xoxo🩷 tags- @sunnybutcloudy @marvelahsobx
Summary- You and Chenle has been friends for years now, since freshman year of Highschool, you finally graduate and go on a summer trip that you guys have been fantasizing to go on since sophomore year. You've always had a crush on him, but stopped trying after he rejected you freshman year. Not wanting to ruin the friendship, you ignore your feelings. That's until you're standing on the hotel balcony, listening to the waves crash on the shore as the sky lit up due to the sparkling stars, a cool breeze sending goosebumps to your skin, well that and also Chenle grabbing your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Your lips look so tasty when the stars reflect off of them." He looked at you. “Then what are you waiting for Chenle, kiss me then.” 
Plz continue on…🎀
"Y/n, wake up." You heard your mom's voice from your door.
It's been the first time you could sleep in since you started college in August, in your comfy childhood bed at that, but of course, you couldn't enjoy it. It seems like you could never get a good rest actually, your dreams are always filled with fantasies about Chenle. It seems like ever since the beach trip you two took together, your dreams has gotten even worst—graphic, and you couldn't stand it. It's been months since you and him talked— well, since he talked to you.
After the trip he pretty much started to avoid you. Finding excuses to miss hang outs the rest of summer, responding dryly to your text, not calling, or even bother answering your calls, just acting strange— and you knew why. There was nothing you could do at this point, he wouldn't let you. Besides, you started college in a different state, so I guess it was best to cut ties or whatever it was in the first place. You just wished it never happened if this is how it would end. You made it out of your room, meeting your mom downstairs.
"You forgot your bag in your car again," She smiled. "and guess who I ran into this morning at the store?" She looked up at you from the kitchen as you sat at the table.
"Who?
"Chenle! He's doing well too, got his own place and everything." You forcefully smiled, taking a sip from your glass of water. "He asked about you too, what ever happened between you? Went on the trip and it seems like everything fell apart." "We just got into it on the trip and decided that we didn't work as friends." You didn't want it to, but your mind instantly geared to that night— the taste of him on your lips, the feeling of him in you, you could never forget it.
"Plus, if he's so worried about me he can just text my phone-" You stopped in your tracks from your phone buzzing on the table, your heart stopping for a moment as you glanced down at the phone, his name popping up on your notification center. 
You swear that you could hear his voice as you read the message: "Hey. Kinda weird but I heard you were back in town. I understand if you say no, but do you think you can come over my place later for dinner, so we can... you know... talk." You thought maybe you were just seeing something, shit maybe you were even dreaming again. It's been months, why now? You sat there staring at your phone for a second, the room silent, your mind forming millions of thoughts. You sat for so long your phone went dark again, but it instantly lit up again, another message stacked above the one he sent, a mere: "please."
You looked up at your mom, a smirk painting your face disguising the butterflies and shocked pit forming at the bottom of your stomach. "Speaking of the devil. He just asked me to come over to dinner to talk." Your mom smiled in response, glazing at you as she wiped the counter. "You should, so you can reconcile. Plus, I miss my babies hanging out together.”
"I'll think about it." You said sarcastically, rolling your eyes as your mom grinned.
You knew you had no thinking to do— you sat in the mirror, making sure you looked perfect, even better than the last time he's seen you. You knew that you were gonna go no matter what, and there you were, driving down the road that led to his house.
You stood at his front door, nervous to ring the doorbell, nervous of what you would even say when he opened the door, nervous of if he would even open the door. The way you felt about seeing him, you would've thought he was never your best friend. You finally gathered the courage to just ring it and you stood there for a minute, thinking he was just ignoring it, but then the door opened.
You wanted to be the one who looked better than the last time you spoke, but it looks like he beat you to that. His dark eyes held so much expression, and his plumped pink lips that met your gaze drove you insane— it hadn't even been 30 seconds and you already want another taste.
"Y/n?" He spoke exasperated. 
"Chenle." You said in response, an awkward smile appearing on your face.
"Come inside, it's cold and rainy." His eyes were wide as he grabbed your hand, pulling you inside. "I didn't think you would come, you ignored my message. How'd you even find my address?" He stood in front of you, a black t-shirt hugging those familiar abs, black loose pants hanging on his legs.
"Even though you stopped talking to me, you never stopped sharing your location." You flashed him a sarcastic smile, his expression instantly shifting to regret as he stepped closer to you.
"I'm so so sorry Y/n,  I was just afraid that things would change."
"You decided to start it, you did it, so if anything changed it's because of you. I didn't deserve that." He stepped even closer, a little too close for comfort, grabbing your hands. "I know, and I'm actually so sorry. I'm such a dick for ignoring you after we did that. Please, please forgive me." His eyes twinkled and his voice was weirdly desperate as he held your hands tighter.
"Chenle, we've been friends for years, I could never not forgive you. He didn't even wait for you to finish the sentence, pulling you into a hug by your hands, grabbing your waist. "I'm so sorry Y/n, I love you." He broke the hug, looking at you with sparkling eyes. "I love you too Chenle." You smiled.
"Well, I didn't make dinner because I didn't think you would come over, but I can order take out and we can watch a movie?" He said, walking you to the living room, grabbing his phone as you nodded in response.
1 hour later the food finally got there, another hour passed as you two sat eating, talking each others heads off like nothing ever happened. You glanced at your phone, 10:07 pm. You didn't even notice the time passing by, and was ready to break the news that you had to go, but he spoke before you could even get the words put together. "It's pretty late, and it's raining super hard now, you should just stay the night." You looked up him, a smile sitting on his face as you looked down at your phone, thinking about how your luggage is literally in your car so you had everything you needed.
You haven't stayed the night with him since the beach trip and you saw how that turned out so you were hesitant about going, but he was you best friend and you trusted him— plus, you both learned your lesson so what's the worst that could happen? "Yea ok, but I need to get my bag out the car."
"You brought a bag?" He smiled, looking at you with questioning eyes.
"Yes I brought a bag, I just got back from school yesterday."  You said in a mocking voice, getting up from the table and grabbing yours keys. "Oh yeah I forgot you just got back home. I'll go get your bag." 
You two sat in his bed, watching a movie, his hand resting on your knee. You already changed into more comfortable clothes. Everything had gone back to normal and that's what's eating you up inside. You can't stop thinking about that night— his scent, the way his finger twirled on your knee, it was all making it so hard to forget.
"So how did you get this house so fast?" You asked, trying to distract yourself as his fingers trailed up your skin, going higher to your thigh.
"Well, I have roommates, but they're not here." He said. His voice sounded more sensual, and his hand trailed up even higher, pushing the fabric to your shorts off your skin as he rubbed your upper thigh. You turned to look at him, his dark eyes already on you. You remembered this exact look and what it meant, and god did it drive you crazy for him to give you that look again, but you couldn't.
"Chenle, you saw what happened last time we did this. Let's just keep this strictly friends and that's all."
"I understand." He smiled in response, taking his hand off your thigh and nodding. The atmosphere was a little awkward, but died down as the movie ended. You look beside you and he was out like a light so you decided to just turn off the tv and slip on your eye mask. Typically you don't sleep with it on, but he has this obnoxious lamp in his room that makes you unable to sleep. You tucked yourself in under his cover and fell asleep soon after.
Chenle always had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night during his sleep, typically he just scrolled on his phone till he could sleep again, and it was no different this time around, even if you were laying beside him.
He couldn’t help to keep glancing down at your body though, the covers hugging your curves, your chest moving up and down as you breathed softly. Your hand rested on his torso unknowingly, but he tried to not think about it, gearing his attention back to his phone.
“chen- chenle.” you moaned out quietly.
“…Y/n?” He glanced at you, whispering quietly, but you didn’t say anything so he thought he was just hearing things— well, he wanted to think he was just hearing things. He couldn’t help but to get a little riled up though, even just hearing your voice drove him a little insane, so you know how much a moan could have an effect on him.
“chenle…please don’t stop.” You moaned out again, a little louder than the first time. He couldn’t help turning off his phone and looking at you. He couldn’t see if you were awake due to your eye mask, but he thought you were maybe trying to play a joke on him, maybe even trying to tease on purpose, but your body said differently.
Your mouth was slightly parted as you gripped the cover with one of your hands, your thighs were rubbing against themselves trying to find a hint of pleasure. He couldn’t control himself, not seeing you like this in front of him, hearing you moan his name again, all needy just for him. He needed you, and he had to face that— and obviously you weren’t thinking any differently, even if your mind told you that you were.
“Y/n.” He shook your body.
You lifted up your head, pulling the eye mask off your face to be met with Chenle’s eyes on yours, and there it was, that look. “You were sleep talking.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke, his voice was raspy and deeper than usual. You started to panic, hoping you didn’t say anything about him, you just tried to pretend nothing happened, but it was clear he heard something.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You smiled, slipping your mask back on— honestly, you just wanted to avoid this as much as possible, but he didn’t let you. Before you could turn around fully he grabbed your face, cupping it with one of his hands making you face towards him. You tried to take off your eye mask again, but he grabbed your hand, pinning it to the bed. You couldn’t see anything, but you felt his lips softly trailing over your skin.
“What were you dreaming about?” 
you
“I- I don’t remember.” You felt his breath on your neck, trailing further down to your collar bone, making you shiver.
You tried to sound calm and genuine as possible, but his lips brushed against your neck ever so slightly as he moved back up to your face and it almost made you fall apart. His hand that was once cupping your face found its way around your throat. “Stop lying.” He squeezed lightly, causing a light, breathy moan to escape your lips accidentally. “I’m not lying.” The hand that was holding down your wrist was now roaming around your body, slipping under your pajamas pants into your underwear, sliding a finger in between your folds.
“So wet, just for me.” You could feel him smile into your cheek, before he kissed it. “Chenle.” You moaned out, melting into his embrace. “But wait,” he removed his hands and lips from your body, a smirk panting his face as he watched your lip tremble with desire.
“Strictly friends and that’s all, right?” He said in a teasing tone, obviously trying to get in your head, but you did say that so there was nothing you could do, well nothing he could do.
You laid on your back, feeling so desperate that you were willing to do anything to release— plus, you two already have done things so who cares anymore. Your hand slipped lower and lower, sliding into your underwear. You toyed with your clit causing you to let out a small moan as you felt a relief from wanting to feel any kind of pleasure.
“Are you touching yourself?” His voice rung in your ears, making you even more needy. You just ignored him as you started to circle your sensitive bud with your finger.
“You’re that desperate huh? That much of a desperate slut?”
Even though it was only once, it turned you on so much when he talked to you like that, and now was no different, and you didn’t try to hide that. You slipped a finger in your aching hole that was begging for attention, letting out a loud cry as you went in and out slowly.
He couldn’t help but to be turned on by you too, slipping his pants down exposing his hard on.
“I bet you wished it was my fingers don’t you.” He sighed out, pumping his length slowly as he looked at what unfolded in front of him. “Mhm.” You moaned out, his words only making you go faster.
“God you look so pretty, all desperate for me.” You couldn’t see what he was doing, but your moans weren’t the only ones filling the room, so you assumed that he was getting off to you as well.
“Take off your pants, I want to see you finger yourself, fuck.” You took no time, removing your pants with your free hand, throwing them to the side. You could feel him move closer to you, gripping the sheets beside you as he slid your underwear down to your knees.
“Can you go faster for me?” He let out a breathless moan as you started to go faster, your arousal coating your fingers making him go even more crazy. “Want to be inside you again so bad— all I can think about.” His voice was becoming needier and needier by the second as he slowly reached his high, pumping faster as your moans seeped into your brain, filling it with dirty thoughts.
“Fuck I can’t take it.” You threw your head back, biting your bottom lip as you almost reached your high. “You look so pretty when you finish, keep going for me, wanna see you cum so bad.” He said in a tired moan. You let out a loud whimper, legs shaking as you fingered yourself faster to his words. No matter how overwhelming it felt, you just couldn’t stop, you needed more.
“Chenle.” You said, your chest heaving up and down from the intense pleasure that washed over your body.
“Yes Y/n.”
“Please, just fuck me.” He drove you insane, no matter what you did, how much you tried to fight it, you couldn’t and he couldn’t either. “I want to, I really do, but you said strictly friends— I don’t want you to regret this.” He turned to look at you.
“Chenle… we’ll never be strictly friends, fuck me.” He took no time getting on top of you. You tried to remove the mask off your eyes once again, but failed when he pinned your hands down beside your head.
He planted kisses on your cheek again, leaving your lips bare as you hungrily wanted to taste him. He slowly kissed down your jawline to your neck, teasing you as your legs brushed against his. He flipped your hands over, interlocking his fingers with yours as he kissed up your face again, going to your ear.
“Gonna make you feel so good, you want it, yeah?” He whispered softly causing you to almost turn him over and just ride him yourself.
“Yes. Please, I want it bad.” He smiled on your skin, releasing one of your hands to adjust his tip at your hole, pushing himself into you. “Fuck.” You whined out, your skin flushing with pleasure. “You take me so well.” He moaned out as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. The thrust were so much more passionate than the last time, so much more loving, it made you see stars.
“Does it feel good baby?” You felt his breath on your cheek, his fingers intertwined with yours, pushing your hands deeper into the pillows. “So good.” You moaned out as the thrust got faster and filled with more anticipation. You couldn’t even see him, and he was still making every inch of your body feel good.
“Fuck, you’re such a dirty girl— having dreams about me. Is this what you dream about huh? Me using you like this?” It was something about the way he spoke to you like this that made you yearn for more, that made you go numb. “Mhm.” You moaned out, causing him to go at a speed that you thought was impossible, hitting your g-spot at a perfect angle, his hands now wrapped around your wrist pinning them down.
“You’re such a slut for me.” He smiled into your skin, giving your cheek another messy kiss. “Only for you.” You clenched around him, almost reaching you high, making him whimper out in desperation as his thrust started to get sloppier. “I’m almost there Chenle.” You cried out, throwing your head back as your moans grew louder. “Fuck, take this off, I want to look at you when you cum.” He snatched the eye mask off your face, looking at your glossy eyes with a smirk on his face, soon turning into a gasp.
Your eyes rolled back as your legs started to shake under his. Your lip quivered from overwhelming pleasure as he hit more thrust after you reached your high. “Fuck.” He whimpered out, hitting a few more quick thrust, emptying himself inside of you, burrowing his head in your neck as he came. He stayed inside of you for a second as you two caught your breaths.
“I want you so bad Y/n. I want to be yours.” He looked at you, everything still and quiet for a moment.
You’ve wanted to hear those words since freshman year, you didn’t even know what to say and he could tell. He leaned down, kissing your lips passionately, like he wanted to do all night, smiling before laying beside you.
“We can talk about this tomorrow, ok?” 
You thought it was honestly a dream, it had to be, but there you sat, in front of your crush of 5 years, finally dating, at the very beach where it all started.
It took 2 rejections, 2 hookups, and one break, but here you are, with him.
You look up at him, he's already looking at you and grabs your hand. "You look beautiful, has anybody told you that?" His face now in a smile. "Thank you." You said as you turned towards him, the deep blue ocean in front of you, suffocating on your breath as you feel his fingers leave your hand and slowly drag up your arm. "You're welcome", he says as he grabs your waist pulling you towards him. "What are you doing Chenle?" You laugh as he pulls you closer to his body. “Just kiss me.” He smiles, but this time— it’s not a dream. 
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rainerioun · 1 month
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𝖧𝖮𝖶 𝖣𝖮 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖸 𝖵𝖨𝖤𝖶 𝖸𝖮𝖴? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.
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— Hello! I thought I'd try and give a more in-depth reading. Interestingly, some of the piles seem to be similar. Perhaps this reading is meant for just a few people. I tried to keep it pretty general and unbiased whether we're talking about platonic or romantic connections, but it seems like there are hints of romantic feelings in all of them. However, if you're inquiring about a friendship or something similar, feel free to take what resonates and ignore the rest. <3
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HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.
Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.
MUST READ + MASTERLIST
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PILE ONE
How Do They View You? King of Wands | Queen of Swords | Death.
To start, this person respects you heavily. They perceive you as someone exuding confidence and leading by example. You've influenced them at the very least. If you're experiencing change or have recently undergone a transformation, they want you to know they're proud of you.
How Do They View You? Dragon : Seeing One's Most True Self, Balancing Ego. | Oyster : Patient, Secret-Keeper, Hiding Inner Treasures.
They see the real you, not just the image you project. If you're shy or uncertain, they want to remind you not to underestimate yourself, and to embrace your genuine beauty and intelligence. They know that everyone else wants to see it too. I believe that they might perceive your confidence as a sort of façade.
How Do They View You? Trickster — Light : Transcending Convention, Stuffiness and Predictable Behavior. Shadow : Manipulating Others Through Duplicity.
I didn't view this card negatively; it felt more like confirmation of what I said earlier. This person understands that you don't reveal everything and perhaps even play a role, though it may not be intentional. They recognize your tendency to use humor as a shield, but they wish you would let them in a bit more because they can see through you already.
How Do They Feel Around You? Determination, Balance, Cleanse, Magic, Protection.
When this person is around you, they experience a sense of balance and comfort. They feel a protective instinct towards you, given what they know about you, or vice versa. They long to express their love and appreciation more openly and receive it in return. Reach out to them more often!
Additional. Photograph : Looking at Your Photos, Missing You, Nostalgia, Make New Memories.
They miss you if there's any current separation or lack of communication. They might even be keeping an eye on you, whether through social media or mutual connections, just to ensure you're doing alright.
Extra: Aquarius, Change, 10, Unique, Libra, Scorpio, Emotions, Bittersweet, Funny, Summer Blues, Phone Call.
Alien Blues : Vundabar | Fine Line : Harry Styles | I Wanna Be Yours : Artic Monkeys.
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PILE TWO
How Do They View You? Ten of Wands [Reversed] | Nine of Swords [Reversed] | Knight of Pentacles.
This person acknowledges your ambition but finds it amusing that you can also be a bit absent-minded. It's not meant as an insult but more of a playful tease. They believe you sometimes overlook the risks around you because you're so captivated and excited by what lies ahead, which can come off as slightly immature. It reminds them of a naive child who might need a gentle nudge in the right direction, so you don't leap off the cliff hoping to grab the sun. I can picture someone stumbling clumsily while the other bursts into loud laughter.
How Do They View You? Moth : Impulsive, Hasty, Wishful | Bee : Earnest, Hardworking, Democratic.
I find this dynamic incredibly endearing. They see you as someone goofy or even whimsical. You're sensitive and vibrant, drawing people to you effortlessly, which they appreciate. Sometimes, it seems like they want to slow you down a bit so you don't scurry off too quickly. You give off a jittery vibe at times.
How Do They View You? Rescuer — Light : Provides Strength and Support to Others in Crisis. Acts out of Love with no Expectation of Reward. Shadow : Assumes that the Rescued will Reciprocate. Goddess — Light : The Feminine Expressed through Wisdom, Nature, Life Force and Sensuality. Shadow : Exploitation of the Female Nature and Form.
This person admires your kindness and charm. I can picture them giggling nonstop whenever they're with you. It's as if you have no worries, just frolicking through life carefree.
How Do They Feel Around You? Sweetness, Success, Rejection.
Once more, you're incredibly sweet to them. Normally, they feel content in your company, but there might be moments when they feel rejected. If they've made a move and you've turned them down, that's the reason. They need time to move on and accept that boundary if don't reciprocate their feelings. If not, it's because they've been dropping hints left and right, and you're just too oblivious to pick up on them.
Additional. Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Shocking Attack. Camera : Remininscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn from the Past, Make Memories. Coffee Cup : Meeting and Conversing, Savoring the Moment, Feeling Uplifted, Friendship.
Yeah, they're definitely feeling a bit disheartened that their attempts to win you over aren't hitting the mark or are just going unnoticed. But hey, you don't owe them anything, so no need to feel guilty. Regardless, they want to keep being part of your life, cherishing the friendship you've both formed.
Extra : Pisces, Indecisive, Kind, 7, Individuality, Unique, Communication, Taurus, Leo, Cancer, Junebug, Wheel, Fields.
Dangerously In Love : Beyoncé. | Hanging Your Picture Up To Dry : Cut Worms.
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[18+, SUGGESTIVE.]
PILE THREE
How Do They View You? Ace of Swords, Six of Swords, Wheel of Fortune [Reversed].
I wasn't anticipating this kind of reading when I shuffled the cards. I almost reshuffled to get a more generic and 'safe' result, but I decided against it. It seems this person likes you a little more than they probably should. They perceive you as someone incredibly self-assured and inspiring, maybe even a bit out of their league. Yet, despite feeling like they're chasing you, they don't seem to mind the playful challenge and are willing to put in the extra effort to break through your defenses.
How Do They View You? Cheetah : Solar Force, Action, Achievement. | Starfish : Beautiful, Alluring, Superficial or Shallow.
This seems pretty clear-cut, lol. They view you as someone with the potential to reach any goal, maybe because your appearance tends to influence people without you even trying. They're strongly attracted to you, but they're also aware they're not alone in admiring you.
How Do They View You? Queen — Light : Radiates the Regal Feminine. Uses Her Benevolent Authority to Protect Others. Shadow : Becomes Arrogant When Authority Is Challenged. Controlling and Demanding. Hero/Heroine — Light : Passion for a Journey of Personal Empowerment. Shadow : Escapism and a False Sense of Heroism.
They definitely put you on a pedestal in their mind. Sometimes you can get a little sassy or assertive because you're clear about what you want, and they find that irresistible. They truly appreciate the natural authority you exude.
How Do They Feel Around You? Passion, Trust, Hunger.
Do I really need to elaborate? For my own sake, I'll keep it brief. You light a fire within them, and they feel like they cannot control such feelings.
Additional. The Snake : Competition, Enemy, Clever, Malicious, Look Over Your Shoulder, The Other Woman. Kisses : Unconditionally Loving, Giving and Receiving Affection, Falling in Love.
As I mentioned, they feel this urge to compete for your affection with others. They might even experience a twinge of jealousy seeing someone else getting your attention while they're so invested in you. My advice is, if this is a secret admirer or a third-party situation, it's best to tell them where they stand. If you're not interested, it's important not to lead them on. However, if polyamory is part of your dynamic, then there's no need to worry about what I'm saying; it seems like they enjoy the thrill of the chase.
Extra: 6, Virgo, Possessive, Cancer, Fussy, Moon, Emotions, Strong Needs, Candles, Stack of Papers, Show Off, Linger, Lust.
Fields of Elation : Sleep Token | Somebody Else : Bad Omens | Lost in the Fire : The Weeknd.
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angelltheninth · 8 months
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OK BUT HEAR ME OUT-- phone sex with the hsr guys?
Fuck yes, this is so good cause I still can't get over how cute Welt is with his phone.
Pairing: Blade, Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Sampo, Welt x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, phone sex, nudes, toy use, mutual masturbation, teasing, orgasm denial, texting
A/N: I'd be very confidant with this I think cause, well writing is one of my two jobs at this point yeah, I would be able to do this no problem.
Blade replies to you almost right away if he misses your call. He can make excuses of being on a mission but why do that when he can tell you're horny and desperate without him there. There's something really erotic about him not being able to see what you're up to but being able to hear every moan, every time you ask him how you should finger yourself because even with him not being there your pleasure is still in his hands. Will he give it to you easily? No, of course not, he makes you stop, and start and stop until you have to use both hands and have him on speaker so you can hear what he's saying.
Dan Heng calls you when it's too long of a day in the Archives. The call starts off innocent enough but he hears some shuffling sounds in the background. No matter how quiet you are his ears can pick up on the sound. He can also make out the slow hitch of your breath as you push your fingers inside your pussy. Are you really gonna get him hard while he's working? That's not even a question, he's already getting hard. This has to be fast, he still has work but rubbing his cock while he listens to you begging to have it is slightly more important at the moment.
Gepard always has his phone close by in case you need something. The last thing he expected is a picture of you naked, sucking on a dildo. A little shy, as clear when you get the picture and see him with his shirt hiked up and cheeks pink, he asks how he tastes. In the picture you can also see his cock, hard in his hand. Texting back the word delicious isn't enough, you need to tell him that yourself, and more important you want to hear the sound he makes when you say it.
Jing Yuan only calls you when he's sure you won't be interrupted. There's been times when both of you started but then he had a meeting and couldn't finish. He learned his lesson, blue balls aren't a good experience. Toys are a big part of the experience, with both of you using them while you talk over the phone. It makes the sex feel more real, allows you to imagine that you have his cock roughly pushing in and out of your dripping wet pussy as he encourages you to come, fucking come all over his cock like his good girl.
Luocha has his phone turns off most of the day so he can only do this at night. But that's not so bad because a little mutual masturbation can help you both relax and fall asleep easier. He'll be home soon to get personally re-enquanted with your body but until then he wants to know every little detail of what you're doing to yourself. Pinching your nipples, licking your fingers clean of your cum and getting your nipples wet with it, rubbing your clit with your legs wide open, waiting for him to walk through the door and give you his dick.
Sampo teases by sending you many voice mails through the day to get you horny. When you're already fucking yourself with your fingers he calls you, cheekily asking if you got his messages. You can hear him grinning into the question, you can hear the slick sounds his hand makes as it slides up and down his cock. Too bad he's not there right now case he has a lot of cum for you. The last message is a picture of his hand and sheets, covered in thick, white ropes of cum. It sends you into your own orgasm and it's only fair that you send him a picture in return.
Welt knows that you get lonely while he's away, these phone calls, as lewd as they are, turn out to be a great way to remedy that loneliness for you both. How he longed to hear your voice so high pitched again. The image of you bouncing on his cock is still fresh in his mind, but your moans are new. You never have too much fun without him so this way it's like you're both there, naked, talking to each other as you near your orgasms. It was awkward for him at first, keeping the phone to his ear with one hand and pumping his cock with the other, having to stay more silent then usual when he finished, but he can't say this experience wasn't exciting.
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tremendum · 1 year
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fever
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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her)   rating: explicit.  (18+. mdni.)   word count: 7.5k summary: but at the timbre of your voice, a cold shiver runs down his spine. his eyes widen in acceptance. there must have been some sort of- poison, or aphrodisiac in that damn plant that you'd both been struck with.  warnings: SMUT. dubcon (sex pollen), age gap (not specified), use of the word ‘girl’, friends(ish) to lovers, canon-typical mentions of violence, needles/getting pricked by a plant, descriptions of canon-typical injuries, unprotected PiV sex, kinda rough, creampie, light cumplay, oral (f and m recieving), a fair amount of begging, dacryphilia, size kink, overstimulation, voyeur Joel if you squint just for a sec, facefucking, mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, some spanking, choking, reader gets slapped on the cheek like once, dom!joel miller, spit kink, fingering, dirty talk/slight degradation if you squint, light praise, this is just basically porn with no plot, they’ve got feelings for each other but they’re in denial, ellie is in this in the beginning but doesn’t hear them thank GOD,  notes: this is my first work for Joel and though I never finished the first game, the release of the TV series inspired me bc i am a SLU T for pedro lmao. this is terribly unedited because I just forgot i took edibles after i smoked and cranked this out in an hour and a half so sorry if it’s choppy or a bit ooc for joel. ALSO IF IM MISSING WARNINGS PLS MESSAGE ME 
★  
"whose brilliant idea was this?"
you say it from behind Joel, the echo of your boots splashing through the tunnel as you look around you, your eyes sneaking to observe the width of his shoulders, the stretch of his shirt over the muscles. 
Joel can't stop the twist of his lips as he grumbles back at you, "yours." he mutters, rolling his eyes. 
his flashlight cuts through the darkness in front of you two, scaling over the walls that grow slimy with repeated dew and rainwater, algae sprawling over the pipes and reaching its fingers down towards your shoes. he doesn't like being down here, it's too quiet, damp, dark. perfect for cordyceps to grow. 
you let out a soft, amused hum at his words that coaxes a bubble of irritation through Joel - you'd always been stubborn, from the day he'd first laid eyes on you; a young thing at the time, baring teeth you thought were sharp but really just looked like a little doe snapping its jaw at him. 
it's been long enough with you around now that Joel knows you better than he's willing to admit, and maybe also knows himself than he would ever say out loud - because you're still that stubborn fireball of a woman and he's still the tired old man who you find amusing to tease. and he likes it, deep deep down. 
"yeah, maybe just letting it go was the better option." you muse from behind him, voice still somehow dripping like honey though the sloshing of the sewer provided nothing but unpleasantries for the group of you. he turns to spare a glare at you; you were already smirking at him. setting him up, then lying in wait. 
a damn minx. 
he sighs, looking away: sure, he wants you, of course he does - you were spry, beautiful, intelligent, and resourceful. but you were stubborn, and butted heads with him more than rams did in mating season. still, there'd been too many lingering glances, suggestive phrases, and gentle caresses for it to be a coincidence. he could tell that when you watched him split wood or help teach you to shoot a gun that you were probably soaked through your panties, and that made him hard as a rock when he allowed himself to think about it once in a blue moon. 
 but that doesn't matter, because in a world that wasn't like this one - without the danger, pain, the necessities to survive - a girl like you would never bat a fucking eye at a man like him. 
and he's got more important things to think about than how tight you'd feel around his cock, how well you'd take his orders with his hand around your throat. 
but your words not only fall to his ears - from where Ellie hangs upside down from the storm drain, she snorts, "you spent that whole time back there arguing with him just to decide he was right?" she boasts. at this, you grab her arm, pretending to pull her down from above your head and into the storm drain with you and Joel. a splashing noise and a squeal echoes through the tunnel as your boots slosh; Joel turns back with irritation, about to snap at the two to keep quiet. 
but you're grinning, eyes reaching his from where you stand, covered in storm drain water. Ellie's flipped upside-down, hanging from the ceiling with a grin of amusement, her arm slack in your grip. 
your shirt is wet, slick against your plush skin around your stomach and breasts, your hair stuck to your cheeks and forehead and neck. slowly, you bend down to pick the axe out of the murky water, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you shake the water from its hilt. he has to tear his eyes away from the flash of the lacy underwear that peeks from the waistline of your jeans. 
Joel's breathing is almost stutters - you’re a goddamn sight right now, and if the tightening in Joel's jeans meant anything, it's that he needed to look away. 
"it doesn't matter. you got your axe, now we need to get out of here." he mutters, tired of letting you convince him to do asinine decisions like try and crawl into a storm drain to fetch the axe you'd accidentally dropped. your lips pull into a tight line and he ignores the twist of fire in his stomach at your gaze, the smirk as you try to conceal your laughter. it just irritates him even more. 
he watches with sharp eyes as Ellie starts to pull you up and out of the drain; he's trained with a flashlight and his rifle pointed towards the depths beyond you, into the unknown area of the drain. your head is almost out of his sight when it happens: you twitch suddenly and let out a yelp, "fuck!" you hiss. Joel's rushing towards you, calling your name. 
you groan, pulling yourself up with the aid of Ellie as you mutter, "'m fine Joel, something stung me." 
stung you?  he looks around, flashlight searching the area for any animal or insect or other threat - nothing. but when you're clear of the drain, obscured by the dilapidated road above his head, Joel hears Ellie let out an interested but disgusted noise. his gun goes first, then the flashlight. he pulls himself up and as he nearly breaches the light of the Earth, a sharp sting attaches to his thigh, coaxing a grunt of shock from his lips as he pulls himself fully out. 
you're laying, soaked on the hot pavement, Ellie staring at you with wide eyes as you inspect your calf. there's a barb on it with spikes that look almost like a cactus of sorts, bright purple and speckled with yellow. Joel doesn't have to look down to see his own thigh impaled with the spokes of the same plant. he tilts his head back, hand scrubbing his face with a deep sigh. damn it. 
"what is that?" Ellie asks, eyes wide as Joel quickly pulls out the plant from his flesh with the flannel he'd tied around his pack. "don't!" he chastises as your bare hands move towards the spoked on your calf, and your eyes soon shoot up to him. "did y'touch a plant down there? or anything?" he asks, trying to ensure this wasn't anything toxic or lethal, or god forbid, a mutation of the cordyceps. 
but if it had been, there'd have been signs of it. pulsing, infecteds even - but this was a plant Joel has never seen before.
"obviously" you grunt, shooting him a glare, "I wouldn't fucking touch something growing if I didn't know it was safe." you snark. he knows you hate it when he treats you like a child - you've said as much to him before, and loudly - but he can't help the protectiveness he feels for you. your skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, "but it shot out barbs towards me. I wasn't even close to it, you saw me." you defend. 
Joel's throat clenches, his chest swimming with a warm feeling as the tingling sensation on his thigh lingers far after he'd pulled the barb from his jeans. he needed to get that thing out of you, too. you watch him as he pulls it out of your leg swiftly, Ellie sitting back on her haunches as she watches. 
"we should clean these out." Joel decides, standing up and grabbing his gun and discarded flashlight, sending a glare down to the axe that sits glinting in the sun. just what he needs, another thorn in his side. literally. 
--
the walk back to the house was much less exciting for you as it had been before the little romp with Joel in the sewer. the sun is hot beating down on your backs, and your dampness just exacerbates the mustiness of the storm drain's water soaking into your skin.
 your calf is starting to vibrate, almost - although your heart twists with worry, you eye Joel's back and he seems fairly normal. so, you keep going, ignoring the heat that starts to consume you. your head aches by the time you round your last corner to get back.
Ellie's in her own world, kicking a rock as the house nears your sights: you'd landed here early this morning, some people who knew Joel before had lived here: they were gone now. 
but it had beds, water that could be heated, and a collection of weapons and supplies stocked higher than your head. 
so as you settle your things into the living room, you smile, digging into your pack to fish out the scraps of soap you'd saved, enough for several washes each of you were liberal with it. "so, who gets it first?" you say with a grin, unable to contain the excitement in your voice at the prospect of getting clean. Ellie jumps up, grinning with glee. 
"dibs on going last!" she whistles, pulling a dry stare from both Joel and you. she shrugs, "what, don't want to be yelled at for takin' my time." she grumbles, flopping down on the couch, sofa releasing a plume of dust. 
you lift a brow, "there's a second tub down here, isn't there?" you ask. Joel nods, eyes flickering to Ellie, "then you can take the tub down here. but only use a bit of hot water." he chides. 
she rolls her eyes as he points a stern finger her way, swiping a piece of the soap you'd held out to her as she hauls her bag behind her, "relax, old man." she mutters, shaking her head as she disappears, "I'll let it run cold before I get out." 
your eyes fall on to Joel, who sighs, nodding to the upstairs bathroom. "you go." he says dismissively. you chew on your lip, trying to figure a way out of taking the first bath: you needed to inspect this sting first. "no, i can wait. 's fine." you shrug, the feverish heat on your body not helping yourself to focus. 
his hands run to the back of his neck, massaging a spot; your eyes are glued to the muscles that ripple from the movement, the long fingers thick and rough from a lifetime of hard work. you shudder, arousal pooling at the apex of your thighs easily. you swallow, embarrassed - why were you having such an odd reaction to this plant? it was making you feel fuzzy, feverish; the only thing you can focus on is Joel. 
he shakes his head, "nonsense. ladies first." he insists, not meeting your eyes. you feel yourself clench around nothing at his words, his abnormal attempt at chivalry - you laugh a bit. he glares at you, but there's no heat. 
"since when have you been one for chivalry, Joel?" you ask, shaking your head with a smirk. it's sweet, because despite the horror of reality, there were still times when that charming Southern Man that Joel probably once was peeks through the cold, hard exterior. 
rare but not unheard of were the times he'd hold a door open, or say ma'am - but it seems that all that remains of his past is that damn smooth accent and the broken watch he keeps on his wrist at all times. 
he rolls his eyes but says nothing. his face looks red, and you almost bring up the pulsing at the site of that plant's needle; instead, you bite your tongue. you need a moment to analyze it, alone - and to get your thoughts straight, to - to not think about him.   
"you can take first, Joel. I prefer my baths lukewarm, anyways." you joke, a fleeting touch on his arm. 
your hand burns when you pull away and his eyes catch yours as if he felt it too. he must decide to not protest anymore as he nearly stumbles his way upstairs, disappearing into the master bathroom, his hands shaky as they take your soap from your grasp on the way. 
--
Joel knew something was wrong immediately. the more he'd stood there, debating with you about who gets to fucking clean themselves first, the more he saw you, in a tub, fingers caressing yourself; the more real it felt, to see you touch your hardened buds, play with your tits, to hear you moan his name gently.
but his body was hot. he felt a fever like nothing he'd ever felt before, his mind going fuzzy as he'd stumbled into the bathroom, scrubbing his whole body from head to toe vigorously, as though whatever was happening would fade away if he'd just get clean. 
the bath couldn't have been longer than seven minutes. 
by the end of it, he was grunting into his shoulder to muffle the noise, his fist squeeing his cock tight as he fucks himself into it, the hot spurs of wanton need curling around his body, choking him. that god damned soap. it smelled like you. 
he'd thrown it across the room, its pieces splintered across the ground as Joel bites back a groan of your name, the images of you, soft hands pumping him, slick mouth opening to take him inside- he cums over his chest in hot spurts, the guilt red and hot across his cheeks as the feeling snaps from his chest. 
but the fever is still there when he blinks away the pleasured cloud of his orgasm. 
and it's still there, burning hot like a snake of revenge in his body when he slams the door open, body still damp and quick to react to the fresh air of the upstairs bedroom. 
he doesn't go back downstairs, not like this. not when the girl is down there, probably still in her own bath; he's still not sure what he's come down with, or if it could spread. 
now, it’s your turn in the bathroom in the master bedroom - he'd beelined it for the office upstairs before calling for you and telling you it was your turn; he knew that something in him would snap if he were to see you while he was in this state. 
but he should've gone back downstairs, because the moment he hears it, it's too late for him. 
you're moaning. 
it's almost clear as day; muffled through doors as you'd shut yourself from the rest of the house in the master bedroom, and Joel can't fucking unhear it. 
he became painfully hard again mere minutes after his first orgasm and has been restraining himself for what can only have been the ten minutes you'd been bathing, but at the timbre of your voice, a cold shiver runs down his spine. 
his eyes widen in acceptance. there must have been some sort of- poison, or aphrodisiac in that damn plant that you'd both been struck with. 
"fuck." he groans, surprised as it comes out much more breathy than intended, his whole body shuddering as his brain gets even more swarmed with thoughts - you, spread for him, or on your knees, or laying on the table, his cock shoved down your throat-
he hits the wall, hard. his fist stings but it's nothing in comparison to the burning need he feels swirling in his gut and his legs carry him until he's knocking on the door to the master bedroom frantically. 
he calls your name, and a weak gasp is the only response. he tries again, and then your muffled voice calls, "fuck, Joel, that plant-" you cut yourself off with what Joel can only imagine is a moan of pain and pleasure. his cock twitches and he thinks he may pass out. staggering over to the bannister, Joel calls out for Ellie. she stomps over to peak her head up towards him expectantly. 
he's shaking, sweat already sheening over his whole body. he's sure he looks like hell as he grips the landing under white knuckles, "Ellie, we're sick." he groans, "stay downstairs." 
she calls back up, joking that she’s going to leave the house; but she doesn't sound sincere. he barely registers her laughter before she shuts the door, closing herself off to explore the downstairs house without Joel or you to protect her. he's momentarily glad she's not suspicious, instead is relieved to have her own time to herself. 
but his cock is so hard he thinks he may pass out again, and he can hear you gasping out his name from behind the door to the bedroom and bathroom. 
the door to the bedroom shuts and echoes through the empty upstairs as he tears through, chest heaving. you're still in the bathroom, gasping as your moans echo through the chamber. 
he calls your name as he slumps against the door frame to the bathroom, the desire coursing through his body as he shakes with the feverous affects from the plant's venom. 
he can't think straight, "I can't come in." he says, shaking his head as his forehead rests against the cool wood. you wail from inside, "Joel, please, I need- I need you, please I need help." you whimper. he can practically see you, the pleading look on your face pathetic as your brows tangle together, eyes shut in frustration. he knows you're touching yourself, and it makes his cock twitch. 
"I can't." he says sternly, knowing that if he is to come through that door, there may be no stopping himself. he can't let that happen, not like this. "I'll- I'll be good, just- I can't, nothing's working." you whimper. 
"not like this, darlin'." he's grunting through his teeth, but he feels so much desire that it's painful, like he'll die. anger courses through his chest as you let out a drawn out moan, low and full of need even through the wall that separates you. 
"fuck you." you groan, "I hate you, Joel, never let me fuckin' have anything," your voice is strangled, a shuddering moan leaving your lips that sends jolts of electricity throughout his entire being. his hand finds his aching cock, slowly trying to relieve the painful desire that shoots through him with need. 
he glares through the wall, "yeah, well, fuck you too." he spits back, anger coursing through him at your bratty exclaim of irritation for him - the one who kept you safe, who let you do what you wanted - who followed you into goddamn sewer drains to find the shit that you’d lost. 
"walking around, flaunting that fuckin' ass at me." his words fall from his lips before he can stop himself, the desire and haze pulling it out of him as he twists his wrist around himself. "do you know what you do to me?" he nearly growls, "every time you open that mouth it's some shit. always gotta have somethin' to say to me, huh? make me wanna shut you up." 
your moan is nearly a sob this time; it's raw, full of desire, and Joel could just about cum from that noise alone. his neck heats up with the knowledge that his words pushed you even further; he always knew you'd be a dirty little thing. 
but he nearly falls over as the door to the bathroom rips open, catching himself with one arm on the doorframe, his cock still in his fist. his eyes find you on the ground, fully naked, on your goddamn hands and knees for him.  
his eyes nearly roll to the back of his head when you gasp, "Joel, we need to-" you swallow as though you were salivating at the sight of him above you, cock angry and flushed, "you have to fuck me, now." 
he stares down at you, his whole entire body tremoring at the sight of you; your bare chest, nipples peaked at you suck in breaths, face flushed with desire and sweat, your own legs shaking terribly. your hands are glistening with your own juices. he lets out a moan. 
"please," you try to get his attention again, squirming as though you're in just as much pain as he is, "please, just use me, I don't care, I want to taste you." 
he shakes his head, "we-we aren't thinking straight... can't do this." he gasps, even his own words starting to sound absurd to himself. you shake your head actual tears welling up in your eyes, "I think about this all the time, Joel-" you moan, your hand slipping between your legs, the wet sounds sending streaks of desire through his body. “it’s not just the fucking plant, Joel, I need you.” you hum. his wrist hasn't stopped moving, he realizes, chasing that sweet fucking high as you stare at his cock with a wide, hungry glance, begging him to fuck you. he wonders if he’s just dreaming again.  
"you know that I want this." you gasp out, tears nearly slipping from your lashline, "don't you?" 
does he? how could you dare to ask that? 
he groans, nodding, "shit, baby, shut the fuck up." 
"you're a fucking asshole, Joel." you whine, "it hurts." you mutter, biting your lip with a ghost of a smile. that makes him snap. it hurts, and you're fucking enjoying it? 
he grabs you roughly. the minute his skin touches yours it burns deliciously; he can't believe he had the control to not touch you this whole time. his moan is tandem with yours as his fingers thread through your hair, intending on lifting you to take you to the bed; your hands grip his thighs, though, and soon your hot, wet mouth finds the angry head of his cock. 
you take him about halfway before you gag slightly and he slams his hand hard on the wall just above you; your eyes are fluttered shut, a tear squeezing out as your throat opens for him. he groans at the pleasure that courses through him, reaches his fingers, the nape of his neck. you're pulling on him desperately, and it makes him smirk down at you. 
"what, you wan' me to fuck that pretty little mouth?" he mutters, heart thundering in his chest as his fingers shake with desire. you pull off him, gasping slightly for breath, your finger still touching yourself as you nod, a string of spit still connecting him to your lips, "yes." you say with a nod, falling back against the wall as he crowds over you. 
he's not patient, not right now. he knows he could fuck your mouth until he was shooting his seed down your throat and you'd sit through it all with that pretty hair and grin and hell, you’d probably even thank him afterwards; but he doesn't have the time for that. he needs to be deep inside you, needs to be drowning in your cunt, needs to fuck you down into the mattress so hard you scream. 
and you're desperate, clearly: you're two fingers deep, fucking yourself on your fingers as another tear trails down your cheek, breathless as you shift in near pain from need. he resists the urge to coo down at you, his thumb still swiping the tear from your cheek before he grabs you again, this time pulling you up and tugging you onto the bed. 
you let out a moan of his name, your face flush with arousal as you spread your thighs open for him, watching with a pained expression as he pulls off his shirt and jeans, discarding his boxers as he goes. your eyes rake over him and you whimper, still not touching him until he gives you permission.
 it makes him smirk, "for such a brat it's a wonder you're so obedient like this." he mutters, pulling your legs further open as he quickly stands with his legs against the edge of the bed, running his cock against your soaked, velvety cunt. 
you whimper, jolting in pleasure as his head catches your sensitive, neglected nub and he smears his precum there, enthralled in the shapes your nails carve into his biceps as you gasp. 
he can't pull his eyes away from your glistening center - how many times had you cum before he'd heard you? he swallows, the flames licking his belly as he pushes his head against your tight hole. 
he grunts, you were so goddamn tight; your eyes widen as you try to move your hips, try to slide yourself onto his cock, but he stops you with a rough hand around your shoulder, pinning you down. "stop." he orders, leaning so he can spit down, the slick trailing down to settle right onto where his cock nestles against your entrance. you let out a strangled gasp at his actions, throat dry from your noises. 
he doesn't give you time to beg, though, as he's slowly easing himself into you; you let out a yelp at the feeling, loud enough that Joel's hand clamps over your lips roughly, his breath hitting your face, "shut your damn mouth, girl." 
you feel like you're splitting open as he inches in and it's barely just his head but you have never felt such excruciating bliss as now, your breath falling from your nostrils harshly as he eases himself into you. 
you wonder how much he is restraining against just fucking hard into you - but you're tight after the orgasms you'd given yourself in the bath trying to satiate the feelings you'd figured out were from that fucking plant venom. 
you don't even know if he'll fit all the way into you as he inches slowly in, taking a few grunting breaths before fully sheathing himself inside your hot pussy. you clamp around him, feeling full as he bites his lip, chest heaving, slick with sweat. his hand, still clamped over your mouth, tightens against you as he slowly starts to thrust; he reaches a part so deep in you that you nearly scream. 
he's hitting your spot nearly immediately as he starts to quicken his pace, hips hitting against yours deeply. you moan his name, "Joel, fuck, 's so fucking deep." you gasp it, unable to think of anything but chasing the high that's been building since the second the plant's venom entered your system. 
he doesn't seem to like when you start to move your hips, chasing his when he pulls away; his hand comes to your cheek in a quick smack, grabbing your attention immediately. you can't prevent the moan at the sensation, nor the way you clench tight around his cock. 
the moan he lets out is half-way between your name and fuck, as he slides into you deeper, hand wrapped around your cheeks, training your eyes on his. there's a glint of something animal in his eyes: you're sure he sees the same thing in you, the venom of that plant coursing through the two of you, nearly palpable in the air of skin slapping skin. 
your cunt flutters at the eye contact, the desire bringing you closer to the edge; his hands shoot to your shins, pulling them up to his chest and then he leans forward with a deep thrust, coaxing tears of pleasure from your eyes. "that's it, take it." he grunts into your hear, hips punctuating each thrust as his tip nudges that spongy spot inside you that curls your toes. 
then one hand catches yours as you fist the sheets; he pulls your arm roughly down towards where he enters you as he bites the lobe of your ear. "you're going to cum." he tells you breathlessly, directing your hand towards your clit, pressing the pads of your fingers against it. you yelp in pleasure, more tears squeezing from ecstasy as you nod against his forehead, "yes, fuck, I'm gonna-gonna cum." 
"that's right." he's deeper, "cum for me." he nearly whispers it, almost desperate. it's just what you need to push you over the edge: his hips angling in a way that has hot, searing pleasure coursing through you. you nearly go blind when you cum with a gasp of his name. his hips don't even stutter as he fucks you through your orgasm, the relief washing over you in waves of pleasure. you can't open your eyes, your chest heaving, arms locked on his biceps, hips quivering with the intensity of the feeling. 
he keeps the roll of his hips as he slides easily through your ruined pussy, his brows pinched in pleasure. 
"y'feel so good," you nearly go limp, your fourth orgasm drawn out by the touch of the man you couldn't ever stop thinking about. he's so deep inside you, you're surprised you can't feel him in your throat as he thrusts. "pretty girl," he mutters, pinching one of your nipples and sending shockwaves through you; the relief you'd felt from your orgasm, just like the previous ones, is soon washed away by the newly replaced desire, back again and somehow even more hungry. 
you nearly cry at the thought, but something in you still yearns for it and you allow your ankles to cross around his hips. "never wanna leave this cunt." he mutters against your collarbone. you flutter again at his words, arousal slicking you, him, the sheets below you; the squelch of your juices fill the room as he chases his own high. 
a particularly loud cry of pleasure lands you with his hand yet again over your mouth, but this time, you waste no time in pulling his fingers to your lips, sucking two of them in eagerly as your hand tries to wrap around his thick wrist. 
his eyes meet yours and his jaw clenches as his hips stutter, nearing his own high. his fingers work quick; thrusting into your mouth, slick with your spit, gagging you as he bottoms out particularly roughly. your nails scrape down his back and you'd be more shocked if there weren't marks later. 
a few more thrusts and you can tell he's close, so you pull his fingers out of your mouth to gasp, "please, cum in me, Joel," you whimper into his neck, biting down hard as he groans your name. his hand suddenly clasps around your throat, pushing you down against the mattress as he fucks into you deep, his eyes screwed shut, "don' say shit like that to me, darlin'."
but his thrusts are getting sloppier as you squeeze around him, luring him in, the intoxicating scent of soap and him and his musk surrounding your head. "please, I'll do anything." you whine, hand crawling up his neck to cradle his jaw. his dark eyes meet yours and he moans at how earnest you look, his hand tightening his grip around your throat and squeezing slightly, your airway constricted for a slight moment, causing you to gasp for air when he leans back. 
your desire has you cloudily begging, pulling at his hair, his arms, his back, keeping him in, and finally he growls, "shut up." he snaps, "'m gonna cum in you, and you better be fuckin' good." he barely looks at you as he lightly slaps one of your tits, grabbing the other and pinching your hardened nipple as he watches your whole body bounce from the force of his thrusts. "god, you feel so good." he mutters to himself. you preen at the praise, your own high creeping near. 
your lips are clamped shut, his hand holding your head down from your throat as you nearly scream, his thrusts slowing and sloppy. he lets out a delicious moan as he hits his high. "that's right, take me." he mutters, his chest shaking as he cums; he's moaning loud as he thrusts one last time, his seed coating your walls. 
"fuck." he eases, his thumb falling to soothe over your hairline gently as he releases into you. "so good for me, aren't you?" 
you swallow, the burning fire of desire still smoldering in your core, your tear trails long since dried, your body exhausted but full of energy. you nod, unable to trust your words. 
he pumps into you slowly once more before pulling all the way out, the noise of your slick and his cum slippery as you feel empty without him filling you. 
but he's already distracted, his eyes hazy as he watches a bit of his cum spill from your weeping hole, his thumb dropping to slide it back up and into you, pressing against your entrance, your breath catching. 
"is it- is it gone for you?" he asks, his voice strained. you don't need to look down to see that the venom hasn't yet run its course through his system yet; his eyes are still alight with the same animalistic desire that you feel pounding in your heart. your feverish sweating, the headache - most of it's gone, replaced with an intense, destructive desire that has you keening into his hand as it cups your used pussy, his eyes teasing. 
"no," you moan, "you?" 
he's already dropping to his knees as he breathes out, "no."  
your eyes widen. in your haze, you're searching for any relief for this growing arousal, the feelings you have for Joel driving you to beg endlessly for him, yet you hadn't expected him to do this. immediately, his hands wrap around your shaking thighs, his breath hitting your bare, throbbing pussy. you can't even think as you card your fingers back through his hair, hips jerking up away from his face as he licks a small stripe over her swollen clit. 
you're so worked up that you can't help the tightening coil as he soon dives his tongue into you, cleaning up the mess you'd made between your thighs, swirling around your clit. 
you tug hard at his hair's roots, hard enough he's sending a groan into you that reverberates through you, vibrating your chest as you clamp one hand over your lips.
fiery pleasure snakes through your body, your ankles falling over his shoulder onto his back as he eats you out like a staved man. you see his arm moving through your clouded vision and you let out a pathetic whimper as you realize the wet noises aren't just from his mouth on you: he's fucking his fist. his movements make your legs shake hard, eyes rolling back as he sucks lightly before releasing to swirl his tongue.
“Joel,” you mutter, his name the only thing that can come out of your mouth as you can’t help but grind down slightly. Joel's hands are hard on your hips; you know tomorrow as you pull on your jeans, you'll have ten fingerprints marked into you.
 it sends a delicious swirl of pride through you as he moans into you, "you taste so good, darlin'.” he mutters lowly before slowly reattaching himself to your heat. your eyes roll back again as one of his hands reaches up to grasp your tit, thumb and finger pinching and rolling as he fucks his tongue into you. one of his hands snakes up to your ass, gripping it tightly and then slapping it, the stinging pleasure making you buck your hips against him.
“Joel, i-” you cut yourself off with a sharp gasp, the overstimulating pressure making it increasingly harder to speak. your toes curl and  head tilts back as his teeth graze over your clit, your thighs clenching shut as your orgasm nears violently quick. 
"you gonna cum again?" he mutters, barely breaking away from you, his own hand moving fast as he fucks his fist; you yearn to feel him in your mouth, to taste him. “please, please.” you mutter, your hips rocking on him as his tongue swirls, nipping softly at your clit and making you cry out. “please, make me cum, Joel.” you plead, tugging his head closer, his hand slapping your ass again.
and then you're clenching your thighs on either side of him and grinding down as you hit your peak, shaking in pleasure. you grind yourself onto his tongue as he drinks you in, cleaning you of every last drop, his thumb soothing over your hip. he rides you through your high, lapping at you and only pulling away when you go lax on the mattress, legs twitching, gasps ragged and scarce. 
you'd have probably passed out right then and there if it hadn't been for his own strangled grunt, your eyes snapping back to him, to where his hand wraps around his own dick, slick with your cum and his own spit. 
"Joel," you mumble, cheeks feeling hot as your mind starts to lift, desire yet again pooling between your thighs as you slide down, off the bed until your back hits it, hands caressing over his thighs, "let me taste you." you ask, cheek hot as it lays on his thigh, your eyes begging up at him.
he moans deeply as one had slides behind your neck, steadying you as his other grips himself, "stick out your tongue." his pupils are blown so wide you can only see black. you follow his order, sticking out your tongue as you eagerly lean towards his cock, his brows furrowing as he slaps your tongue with himself. 
his hands tug you towards him, your lips tugging over him as you take him into your mouth, trying your best to look up at him. you gag around him as he thrusts his hips forward, your hands flying up to grip his thighs. "fuck, look at you," he moans, his grip tight against your head, slowly starting to fuck your throat, your eyes tearing up. "so eager for me, bet you'd let me fuck you anywhere, hm?" 
your face heats up as you hum, unable to say anything as he slides into you, tip pushing against your throat, your eyes rolling back. "yeah, you would. i know you think about it, darlin'. think about it all the time." 
you should be embarrassed to learn that Joel had, under more sober circumstances, noticed how you acted around him. but instead you let the trail of spit slide down your chin and onto your bare breasts, your fingers pushing it over your hardened nipples as he pulls off your mouth. 
you gasp for air, looking up at him with wet eyes. "get on the bed." he orders and you scramble with weak legs onto the mattress, staring at him, the familiarly torturous desire in you throbbing. his hands push you around until you're on your elbows and knees, his hand swatting your ass. "gonna cum on that pretty ass." he mutters, hand grabbing a handful of the plush skin as he spreads you open, "okay?" 
"yes, yes, please." you mutter, face sweaty and stuck with your wet hair as he leans down, spitting onto your glistening, puffy cunt. you're nearly sobbing into the sheets as he slides into your wet, warm hole, his groans just as wrecked as you. 
"jesus christ, girl." he mutters to himself as he starts to thrust into you, the new angle setting your whole body alight with the coiled pleasure. it builds fast until you feel like you're on fire, his hands rough against your hips, swatting your ass every time your hips pulled away from the overstimulation. 
"you need to come." his breath is hot as it hits your cheek, his chest pressing to your back. he's deep into you, tip hitting your sweet spot with every rolling thrust of his hips. then slipping one hand onto the back of your neck, the other snaking to toy with your sensitive clit. 
your legs nearly give out as your back arches, the orgasm crashing over you before you can even register it. 
you can't see, blind with the bliss of pleasure; your thighs shake as he mutters dirty words into your ear, Joel's hips stuttering as you clamp and flutter around him, slickening yourself and his pubic hair, skin wet with your arousal. you're so sensitive you can't do anything but take his cock as he fucks you, deeper and slower as though he's coming down with the mind fog just as you. 
when he hits his own mind-numbing orgasm, he's pulling out of you fast and finishing in hot spurts onto your ass, streaking up your lower back and sliding down into your quivering core. 
your name is the only thing on his lips as he slowly slumps down onto the mattress next to you. 
you both wait; it's silent besides your sniffling from the overstimulation and the soreness of your throat and Joel's labored breaths. you both wait to see if that torturous feeling comes back to your groins, suffocating and clouding your judgement. 
but instead, the fog clears, and within five minutes of silence and stoicism, you're sure that whatever the venom was, it'd passed through your system. "Joel?" you whisper it, cracking slightly. you hear his head shift; he'd not looked at you at all. you're not sure you blame him, embarrassment creeping through your face. but not regret. definitely not regret. 
he whispers your name back, and there's a vulnerability in it that has your eyes snapping to his, searching for the dilation of his pupils, any sign to show the venom was still in his system. you can't find any. "do you- is it gone? for you?" 
he blinks at you once before nodding his head, "yes. n'you?" you nod at him, muttering a small, "yeah." 
he knows he should go get a cloth to clean you up. he'd possibly have to help you up, help you dress... his throat dries as his now less foggy brain recovers the memories of moments ago; the size of your pupils blown out with lust. he looks over you; he'd ruined you. 
another wave of self-doubt runs through him; you were not like him, you weren't bad like him. you deserve better. 
but the way you stare at him now, as though you want nothing more than to do what you'd both just done every day with him... 
he opens an arm, accepting you as you slide your limp, exhausted body against his own naked form, his arm squeezing you to his chest as he sighs deeply. you nuzzle your face into his neck, your own heart racing just as fast as his. 
he feels like a damn fool - it'd been far too long for him, he's not sure how to approach these feelings he harbors for you, so he'd hidden them down with anger and irritation and eye rolls; but now he's gone and fucked you like you were just some other whore. 
his lips press to your forehead. he doesn't think he can say anything, not right now. he still feels like he's got a fever, and by the looks of you, you feel it too. 
so he hopes the kiss he tenderly lays on your hairline says what he can't: he's sorry he was rough with you. he hopes you're okay. he hopes you don't regret it. he hopes you know... he hopes you know it wasn't just about that damn plant’s venom. 
he pulls away from you after just a moment, rising to tug on his boxers. but as he crosses the threshold into the bathroom to gather a washcloth for you, your soft voice stops him. 
"Joel." you mutter, eyes nervous, exhausted. he stops, looking at you.
you're just as nervous as he looks; you're unsure how to interact with him now, the man you trust with your life, the one who acts like he hates you, the one you know probably loves you; and then you'd fucked him like he was just a dick, though you wish you could tell him: he's so much to you.
"that wasn't-" you're unsure how to convey it, "it wasn't just about the-whatever that plant was. I don't regret it. and I hope you don't either." you're glad it sounds as genuine as you feel when you say it. you want him to know he didn't hurt you. and you hope you didn't hurt him. 
his face flashes with relief, with adoration. "I don't." he says, turning from you quickly. 
and if his lips ghost over your knees and leave goosebumps on their wake, if his hands soothe gently over every budding bruise of his handprint on your hip; you don't mention it now.
if he gently and devotedly wipes you both clean, if your hands fold together as he settles back down against you, if your hearts beat together as you settle into the fever nap that claims you both; you just smile gently at his bashful grin.
and if your lips brush against each other just before the sleep takes you both; well, then you'll talk about it all later. 
.
taglist:    (message to be on joel miller taglist/regular tag list.)
.
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mydearesthrry · 10 months
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mydearesthrry masterlist ❥
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hi bffs!! im jules and welcome to my masterlist <3 i write for harry styles and tasm/mcu peter parker and range from different aus! my requests and asks are always open unless stated otherwise, so feel free to send in anything here!
if you do choose to request something please do keep in mind the normal restrictions, and if u want something specific feel free to specify! all my work has been written from july 23’-present!!
{tags for fic recs: faves under holy grail • harry styles under h fic rec, h nsfw • charles leclerc & lando norris under 16 & 4 respectively • peter parker under peter <3}
**i do not condone any reposting of my work!!** if any links r broken shoot me a message or an ask and ill fix it asap!!
please enjoy my work, i love u and thank u thank u thank u sm for supporting me <3
—————
❥ - denotes fluff
✮ - denotes angst
✿ - denotes smut
✧ - reader favorites (over 600+ notes)
—————
harry styles <3
— oneshots —
trinkets on tour ❥✧
↬ in which you collect things from all of the tour stops, and harry loves you. (1.3k words)
harry’s house home ❥✮✧
↬ you miss harry, and he misses you even more. (2.1k) [1k+ notes]
obvious ❥✧
↬ when harry just can’t understand what you’re talking about, and he’s also your husband? (1.1k)
behind the scenes: daylight ❥
↬ a first date, a circus, and a horse named honey. (2.2k)
a compilation of ynrry on stage ❥
↬ y/n and harry are both in the band one direction, and although they aren’t allowed to publicize their relationship, their love shines through on stage in the tiniest moments. (1.2k)
sweet nothing ❥✧
↬ a very sleepy harry in an ice bath. (1.6k) [1k+, personal fave!]
love in secret ❥✧
↬ 5 times when y/n and harry just understood each other. (5.9k, check cw!) [1.5k+, author and reader favorite!!!]
a mutual understanding ✿
↬ y/n just cant stand harry, and he loves a chase. (2.6k, check warnings!)
hayday, braids, and chocolate ❥✧
↬ a lazy sunday at home with harry. (1.1k)
right back home to you ❥✮
↬ y/n trying to be cool about it (and failing)! (4.8k, check warnings)
— blurbs (<900) —
spill or fill your guts ❥✧
cloud watching ❥
sweetener (the zane lowe interview) part 1 ❥
the end ❥✧
forever ❥✧
honeyed bliss ❥✧
debriefing ❥✧
dynamic ❥
baby ❥✧
book (lovers)
— concepts —
new!gf Y/N seeing the ‘olivia’ tat for the first time <900
new!gf Y/N getting jealous at a party with fbh >1k
body shots with fbh <900
universes (h.s.)
honeyed moments
☀︎︎ a collection of home videos and moments of the styles family. [husbandrry, dadrry]
. . . .
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heyybaejjk · 11 months
Text
MODERN AO'NUNG HCS.
pairing. human!aonung x human!fem reader
summary. modern au, ao'nung in highschool + boyfriend headcanons
notes. boyfriend ao'nung headcanons, human & in high school. ao'nung & reader are both 18.
warnings — swearing, mentions of blood! making out, implied smut but nothing too far
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masterlist. pt. 2 pt. 3
A lot of his peers from school assume he's just some muscular, hot headed guy with an ego so big, when in actuality he's not.
He was, until he met you.
People change, people don't change. He was the first factor.
People naturally assume Ao'nung is the type to just buy you expensive shit that have no meaning, but he really puts thought into every little thing he buys or crafts himself.
Also assuming that your relationship with Ao'nung was going to end after one month.
How could that possibly happen if he is head over heels for you?
Mans is caught off guard by the thought of you, even when you're not there with him physically
Brags about you, his kind and sweet girlfriend 25/8 just because.
"Bro my girl is so fucking cute, she met my mum yesterday and brought her flowers. like??? if you want me to get on my knees, just say so babe. My dad and Tsireya love her already... AND OH MY GOSH, my baby sister, Luna, Y/N held her for five seconds and Luna was already so smiley and giggling. Like yeah Luna, I get the same feeling,"
"We've heard this shit for the last 10 minutes" his friend rolls his eyes playfully.
When he's playing basketball with his friends, he's the type to shout "Oi, this is for my missus" before shooting the ball, and making it in.
Laughs at Lo'ak when he attempts to shoot for Tsireya but misses the hoop completely 😹
"Mean ass airball" is all Ao'nung says while chuckling
Bites back to the mfs who want him, even when they know damn well he's got a girlfriend
He posts about you every hour of the day, how could anyone not know ☠️
rayraybae has sent you a message!
rayraybae: hey you got some fine ass back muscles
m.nung: i will literally make a film of my girlfriend leaving scratch marks all over my back, back the fuck up.
Ao'nung says before blocking the user that texted. Rolling his eyes, he places his phone on the night table of yours. Sitting up from his position, his arms wrap around your waist as you sat on the edge of your bed. He lifts you easily on his lap as you let out a soft squeal. "Ao'nung!" you softly say, blushing intensely.
"Let me hold you, baby," he says smirking into your neck, pecking along your shoulder trailing up. Whispering into your ear, "I want us to try something."
Grabbing your phone and press onto the camera icon before hitting record. Placing your phone on the side table while his phone lit up with notifications. Getting the perfect landscape angle of the both of you, as he lays on top of giving your neck slow and sensual kisses. From the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimpse of his phone repeatedly turning on and off, yet he ignored it as he was too busy with the lovemaking you were about to do.
That little thing he said before was half true and half untrue.
Truthful to making you scream his name while scratching his back, recording it all
The untrue factor was sending it.
He respects you and knows your boundaries (every relationship has boundaries ofc) he only really said it to her because bro just loves to argue and brag about his girlfriend
Every recording you make, whether on his or your phone stayed between you two.
Posts a lot about you. His insta story, his tiktoks, twitter acc = all about you. Lets you make tiktoks on his account to show you off
But sets his comments only for his mutuals, he doesn't fuck with the comments that talk about you as if you aren't his.
Hell, his bio on everything is "@y/nnnnn 💓" or "i love my girlfriend."
Trusts you 100%, doesn't force you to give him your passwords to anything nor asks to check your phone
Spams your camera roll so much, like a lot.
Once he sees your phone without you around, he's already on your camera roll
"Mama. Mama, come. I got y/n's phone, she's in the bathroom. Pose with Luna. Smile Mum." he says with a hushed tone, smiling with his arm around his mother's shoulder. Ronal chuckles at her son's actions, the newborn baby in her arms, she lays her head on his shoulder as she sees in the camera her newborn baby lying against her chest.
"Hey! Let me be in it!" Tsireya quietly whispers before making her way beside Ronal, kissing her cheek as Ao'nung presses the shutter button.
That happened last week because now Ao'nung was smothering kisses all over your face while you giggled after he saw your new lock screen.
He loves to send paragraphs
Loves typing (even writing letters) paragraphs all about you. From the way your laughter sounds like a melody from Eywa, how your smile along with your pearly white teeth make him also smile, how your soul ties him in.
He loves pda, but not the type where you both makeout with each other's tongue down your throat
(i have a couple from my school who does this & it makes me wanna cry cos literally stop & go to class pls.)
Holding hands, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, hugging, kissing your knuckles (uses you as an armrest to tease you but stops when you elbow his side.)
Forehead kisses, kisses on the cheek & pecks, that's how far he'll go in public.
in private, BROS GOING HAM DURING MOUTH TO MOUTH SESH.
"Nung," you let out a breathy laugh as you feel your boyfriend trail kisses from the side of your mouth down to your neck.
"Hm?" he mumbles, lightly sucking and licking the sweet spot of your neck. You moan lightly, too immersed in the pleasure. "O-oh!" you gasp slightly, your hands now on the back of his head, bringing him closer.
"Nevermind, keep going," you say as you feel Ao'nung smirk into your neck.
Loves to spoil you.
Whether it be with clothes, makeup, shoes, stuffed bears. Anything.
But his most favourite are handmade gifts
He loves it when you shyly hide your squeal of excitement to everything, but when he pulls out an origami rose that he sprayed with your favourite perfume rather than an expensive stuffed bear, he loves seeing the glimmer in your eyes
Since you're his baby, he's already got both the handmade and the expensive shit hiding in his bag.
As he pulls out the bouquet of paper-coloured flowers from behind his back, he watches as you hide your squeal with your small hand, a bright blush appears on your face as you bring him into a tight hug, your head on his chest. You pull away before rocking from side to side shyly as you look to the ground, hiding back a smile as you hold onto the bouquet softly.
"Thank you, Nung, they are absolutely cute. I love them," you say politely, your nose slightly red. You stand on your tippy toes as you kiss his cheek. He smiles gently at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, walking with you. "Well, I love you."
He will fight for you, doesn't care if the person is taller or more muscular (as if he's not already the tallest mf in school 🧍‍♀️)
Will never, ever bring up the fact that he got his ass beat by Lo'ak when he was 15
If Lo'ak were the one to bring it up to you, he'd definitely tell Tsireya about all the stank ass piss stains he used to leave on his bed when he was sixteen.
Neteyam told Ao'nung this because he just felt like it. Or maybe Lo'ak just pissed him off that day, who knows.
Safe to say that if they sparred now, Lo'ak's ass is 6 feet underground.
But they're best friends now, won't ever happen.
"He what? Where the fuck is he?" He angrily says, throwing his bag off his back harshly. You look around frantically, "Nung, really. It's okay," you calmly say as you grab his bag before following behind him, trying to grab one of his arms.
"No, no, no, he touched your thigh when you told him to stop."
He walks around the halls and finally spots the guy he was searching for. Rushing up to him as you call out his name from behind, stopping as you figured it was no use. Grabbing him by his collar, he harshly throws the guy up against a wall. As people surround the two, you can only watch as his friends try and pry him away from the poor, shaken up boy. Lo'ak who made his way beside you, grinning at the sight.
"I would've gotten my ass beat if I tried to intervene," Lo'ak snickers. You roll your eyes before push his shoulder roughly as a joke.
Both your faces cringed and heard the crowd grow loud as you heard something from the crowd crack. A few seconds later, you see Ao'nung being pulled away from the crowd as the guy on the ground holds his nose, blood staining his hands.
You look over to your boyfriend who had an angered expression on his face, his shirt being pulled at as four of his friends pushed him back. His shirt slightly riling up, revealing his define V line and toned abs. "Touch my missus again, I'll fucking knock you out." You hear him yell out.
"He deserves some good head," you blurt out. Lo'ak side eyes you so fucking hard.
He walks you to class <333
If you have a class together, best believe mans is seated next to you
But if he knows one of your best friend's in the same class, he rather you sit with them
He feels like you spend a lot of time with him & rarely with your friend group, so he feels slightly guilty
Although you feel the opposite as you've sorted a way to spend time equally with both him & your friends, you give him a soft peck on the lips for the lovely thought
If you do sit together though, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll be distracting you with kisses and secret whispers of affection
He knows education means a lot to you and knows when and when not to be affectionate
You do still hold hands under the table often, or link arms.
You both take notes, help each other out, ask each other on what you've misheard from the teacher
He does give your thigh or hand a comforting squeeze when he notices your brows furrow or a slight pout on your lips form, an overwhelming feeling taking over your body as you look stumped on a certain task
You both are mature people and can communicate, so he lets you speak your thoughts rather than going ahead and helping you immediately, if that makes sense
Only when you really feel like something is too much and you can't talk or communicate properly like you both usually can, that's when he drops his shit and soothes you.
"Would you like some help, baby?" he whispered soothingly, his hand comfortingly caressing your thigh, as he notices your confused expression. The rest of the class was too focused on their sheets of paper. You were too caught up in your thoughts that you let your hands massage the temple of your head. You shake your head, signalling no.
"It's okay if you don't know the answer immediately, sweets. You don't need to rush," His hand now on your back, sliding up and down slowly.
For a few seconds, he lets you take a breather, and you finally answer with a broken voice and a small whisper. "Can you help me please?"
"Of course, lovely," an arm around your shoulder and he kisses your temple. "Which part are you stuck on? We can break it down and solve it."
Doesn't give any care about who you're friends with, even if they're a guy. Will warn you or hint if he knows something is up with certain people.
Is protective, will always be there behind your back to defend you.
He has friends that are girls, but aren't close with them either. Even if he is close with another girl, bro never touches her. Just a simple dap is good enough to him.
As soon as he gets the "I got something to tell you." text from a girl.
Blocked. Sorry, but he literally blocks them.
He knows exactly what that six worded sentence means because those were the exact words he said to you before confessing.
He has a girlfriend and only has eyes for you, they should know better than to pull shit like that 🤷‍♀️.
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my fingers hurt... from typing of course 🧍‍♀️ ANYWAY thats all i got, im tired LOLOL <333
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okwonyo · 15 days
Note
mutuals appreciation messages 🤍
ohmygosh , i love this ask sm ><
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@nwjws — thank you for always being a shoulder i can rest on and a the rock that supports me, i would have never come this far without you.
@okwons — i miss you a lot, your are always there for me with your heartwarming words and encouragement, i am grateful for that.
@byhees — your soft soul and principles are admirable; you are doing so well and no matter what you do, i will forever be rooting and proud of you.
@iiuvhay — thank you for always checking up on me, for always coming to me, for always asking me how i am and telling me about your day. you made my life so much more fun.
@wonryllis — you are so passionate and inspiring, you helped me so much times that i lost count. you are my big sister, basically, not by blood but definitely by deep in my soul.
@atrirose — i am grateful for the fact that you keep on showing that you truly love me, i am sorry for always forgetting that. i love you a lot.
@hoonvrs — you are the cutest person here (i keep on telling you that) and genuinely so nice, never let anyone tell you otherwise.
@isoobie — i am happy that you were one of my first mutuals. you support me since my debuts and you never fail to make me want to be better and better with your nice compliments.
@boyfhee — you are missed a lot (by me) on here, and you always have been nothing but nice to me. you are also very funny and your works are to die for. (and i still want to make a shared board on pin)
@bywons — your personality is extremely comforting (?) to me, you make everyone around you happy, like a ball of sunshine.
@hysgf — we talked a lot those past few days, and i am grateful for that. you are a sweet person to talk to and i am grateful to be your kurumi.
@jjunae — i am the coolest but you come close second; you always make me smile and laugh, i love interacting with you.
@copyhanni — you are doing great, never let anyone tell you otherwise.
@lilacnini — you are so, so kind, it makes me want to cry. you also work so hard, it makes me proud to be an inspiration for you, i am proud of you.
@naespas — you should always believe in yourself, no matter what.
@wonifullove — thank you for supporting my works, i will make sure to return thus support to you soon.
@wvnkoi — your soul is as pretty as your face, and you are the definition of kindness.
@bambisite — you are always so sweet and bring nothing but positivity with you.
@tyunni — your theme and personality are so, so cool.
@wondipity — you are so soft and brings nothing but comfort and endless kindness.
@onlyjjong — you are too cute to be scared of interacting with people, you are a sweetheart and i loved the only time we talked.
@lcvclywon — you are so adorable, i hope we’ll talke more in the future.
@lilyuwon — i love whenever you are in my inbox or whenever i see your account! you seem really nice.
@cornenhapovs — you played a huge part of this account growth and i will forever be thankful for you.
@ms-no1kpopstan 一 you are cute and your interactions with other people always make me smile.
@euncsace — i want to take care of you and make you feel so loved that you will explode, i miss you a lot and which you all the luck with school.
@yeokii — you are very fun to talk to and i will protect you from all your weird anons.
@100203s — you are so, so cool and thank you for always including me in your moot games. let’s interact a lot in the future.
@voikiraz — i missed you a lot on there and i’m so happy that you are back; i love talking to you so much and knowing that you are there makes me so happy.
@weoris — you have an adorable personality and i want us to talk a lot more in the future; also, thank you for creating wonyjiah.
@leaderwon — thank you for trusting me, i will always be there if you need help and you are doing well.
@wonfilms — you are so nice and cute, your works are so comforting and i love whenever you like my works.
@soov — you make me so comfortable, genuinely, i feel so safe when i’m talking to you, i’m thankful for you and the fact that you always support me.
@sainns — saw you a lot on tl before following you and you are genuinely so fun and nice, never let a man make you feel bad.
@yenqa — i am grateful for you and how you support me on almost each one of my smaus, i will miss you a lot. take care and take your time, we are all patiently waiting for you.
i’ll stop there because it’s getting a lot, but know that if you are my mutual or even my follower; i love you to the moon and back. i’m rooting for you, not as okwonyo but as jiah, and i will always be there if you need me >3<
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Note
Aita for telling my friend I don’t like talking to her?
🏠 so I can find it later
I had this online friend for about three years. We met each other because of a mutual friend and eventually started to get along. We’d message each other all the time, or rather, she’d message me all the time. Like, I’d unlock my phone by the end of the day and there’s be other 20 messages (usually a long text split in various messages, like, a line per message), usually to talk about fandom stuff, since we enjoyed most of the same things, and particularly about Homestuck.
After some time, this habit of hers got annoying and I stopped replying to her, and she eventually also stopped messaging me. We remained friends and joined a RPG server together. Things were chill until she and this other person who was in the server started talking about how much they like g*mkar (censoring it because I don’t wanna clog the ship tag, and also I don’t want her to find this kahdkska).
For context, this ship was one of the only things we talked about I didn’t enjoy. I really dislike this ship and her constant pestering me about it made me hate it even more. She wouldn’t force me to ship it, but she’d talk about it all the time, always posting about it on Twitter and constantly retweeting fanart of the characters, which really didn’t help my situation and only made me hate it even more since I was practically forced to see them every time I opened my feed.
So I started complaining about the pairing on the server, I said they were a terrible combination and that it was an example of people romanticizing neglect. Eventually other people in the server joined me to complain about it and my friend and the other person she was talking to stopped talking about it.
She then came to me privately telling me that she didn’t like what I did, that it wasn’t nice of me to complain about something that she likes while she was talking about it with someone else. And I replied “it’s not the ship that’s the issue. It’s you. I don’t like talking to you. Talking to you doesn’t make me happy” I also complained about how clingy she was (although I did recognize it was partially my fault for never telling her I didn’t like it). She apologized for being so overbearing before and told me she had been working on herself since we stopped talking and that she didn’t do that anymore, which I was very grateful for. I did not apologize for complaining about the pairing though.
We ended it at that and a few days later she blocked me and left the server we had joined. We haven’t spoken ever since but I’m mature enough to recognize that the friendship is over.
I don’t miss her, but I do wonder if I should’ve handled things different sometimes.
So am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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