#important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whatsk-poppinhomies · 2 months

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Pairing : Dad!Bangchan x F!Reader TW : Chans daughter is not readers child ; Chans ex wife and daughter are shit starters ; drama of course ; angsty ; honestly, poor Chan ; fluffy ending though ; slightly suggestive at the end as well ; Word Count : 6.5k Request : Anonny : Please write an angsty / fluffy fic about Dad!chan who, after years of not dating, finally decides to get back into dating & when he finally finds someone he doesn't tell reader he has a teenage daughter because he doesn't know how reader would feel about it but when reader finds out they're really upset and avoid him and his daughter reaches out to reader and convinces reader to talk to Chan and make up because she hates seeing her dad upset. A/N : This request is so cute and I'm so happy I get to write it. Of course, it will be super drama because I love when it happens, and with Chans recent bbl messages we know this man loves this kind of shit, so... This is for Chan and Chan stans and we love Chan!

“I got a call from your teacher today, Ella.” Chan said as his daughter walked through the front door. “They said your grades haven’t been the best lately, that you haven’t been focusing in class. Is something wrong? Do you have something going on?” He didn’t want to be the kind of father that always got on his child when their grades were below average, but he also didn’t want his daughter to flunk out. He wanted to see her be successful and happy in life, that’s all he ever wanted.

“I’ve just been going through some stuff, dad.” Ella mumbled as she kicked her shoes into the corner near the front door and dropped her bags onto the floor. “Mom said she’s been trying to get in touch with you lately. I guess she saw that you’ve been posting about going out on your facebook.” She pulled out the chair across the table from Chan. “Why don’t I get to meet your new girlfriend?”

Chan rolled his eyes, finally looking up from his phone to look at his daughter. “You’re changing the subject. What I do in my spare time isn’t important. Your grades are. So tell me, what kind of stuff have you been going through that’s been keeping you from being able to focus. Maybe I can help.”

She huffed loudly, the attitude that he was warned would come along with a teenage daughter was in full force now. “It’s not even important anyway… Don’t you have a date to go on tonight? That’s all you ever talk about anymore. It’s like you don’t even care that mom left…” It was finally making sense to him, but it hurt that she felt that way. He had been kind enough to keep his ex wife’s dirty secrets just that, a secret, so that Ellas view of her mother wouldn’t be warped. He was trying to do the right thing, but it was becoming harder and harder.

“I do care that your mother left… I was hurt by it for a long time, El. It’s been 8 years, and I think that it’s time that I’ve finally moved on because she isn’t coming back. Your mother has gotten remarried, divorced, and married again in those 8 years and I haven’t been with anyone until just a few months ago. I don’t think you’re being very fair right now.” He tried to explain, but he could tell, he could just see it in her face that she wasn’t ready to hear about it. “And, just so you know, I don’t have a date to go on tonight. I was planning on being here to help you with your homework and studying so that I don’t get another call like I had today.”

///

“Had a late night in the studio, huh?” You said as you walked up behind Chan, your arms draping over his shoulders as he sat in front of his computer in his office. You could tell he was tired, he could barely sit up straight and his eyes wouldn’t stay open for longer than a few seconds. “It’s okay to take a break, bubs. It’s 3racha, not ChrisRacha.”

He snickered at the little name, finally swiveling his chair around to face you and pulling you down onto his lap. “You sound like everyone else. I don’t like taking breaks, it gives me too much time to think about the time that I’m wasting.” He explained, his voice was groggy and not even laced, but completely filled with exhaustion. “I’ll be fine once I go over your place tonight, we can cuddle up and watch a movie.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, his hot breath against your skin sending a wave of goosebumps all over.

“They’re repainting all of the apartments, I can’t even go into my own house right now. I’ve been staying with my parents.” You reminded him, although you were sure you had texted him about it and told him about it in the days leading up to the renovation. “We can go over to your place. We’ve been dating for 4 months now and you haven’t even invited me over.”

There was a reason for that, a reason that you didn’t know of, but he felt it was just better if you didn’t find out. The last thing he wanted was for you to run off because he had a daughter, not just any daughter though, a teenage daughter who was still hung up on the divorce of her parents. She wasn’t the easiest to get along with, and although Chan had tried to butter her up to the prospect of one day meeting you, she didn’t take too kindly to the fact that he was dating again. “My place is a mess…” He lied, trying to muffle his words in the fabric of your shirt so you wouldn’t pick up on it. “We can go to a hotel if you’d like.”

“That seems sleezy…” You mumbled, and he felt awful, he truly did. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He absolutely loves his daughter with every ounce of his heart, his entire being, he loved being her father. He loved you too though, you had been the light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel. He didn’t want to have to choose between the two of you, it just didn’t seem fair. “I guess we’ll just wait for my apartment to be ready…” He could feel you trying to pull away, he could tell that you were upset, he didn’t want you to leave like that, so he tightened his arms around you, holding you close to him.

“You’re not sleezy! I’m sorry I even recommended that, you’re better than that.” He quickly tried to get himself out of the hole that he had dug, it felt like he was clawing his way to the top, and everytime he got halfway out, he’d slip and he’d fall right back to the bottom. “I’ll clean my place, I just want it to be perfect for when you come over. Okay? You deserve the best.”

The tension slowly left your body, he felt you soften up against him, and for a moment, it felt like he could breathe again. “Okay… Fine. I’ll wait… I just really miss sleeping next to you.” You whispered, and those words made his stomach feel warm and fuzzy. He missed sleeping next to you too. “I have to get back to work though… I’ll see you later. Try taking a break though, take a nap or something, that’s what the couch is for.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting up, his arms reluctantly loosening around you until you were free to go. “Seriously, get some sleep.”

///

“Where are you going?” Ella asked from the couch, watching Chan storm to the front door and yank his coat off the hook. “Did you and your girlfriend get into a little fight? Do you have to go kiss and make up now?” The mocking tone in her voice would usually only slightly irritate him, but he was already beyond irritated at the reason he had to leave in the first place.

“No, it’s your damn mother.” He snapped, pulling his shoes on before grabbing his keys. “I don’t know how long she’ll hold me up, there’s food in the freezer, or you can grab my wallet out of my bag and order yourself something. Try to do some studying while I’m gone, please?” And without another word he was out the front door, slamming it behind him.

What Chan didn’t know was that he had left his wallet at work on his studio desk, and you had gone into his studio before leaving to see if he was there but only found his wallet. He must have left the building without saying anything to you, and you wondered if maybe he was sick or something had happened back at his place. You were doing the right thing, at least that’s what you felt you were doing. You were just going to take his wallet home to him and check up on him. You didn’t mind that his house might be a little dirty, you completely understood that he was busy, you didn’t expect his house to be immaculate.

You weren’t sure why you were so nervous to stand in front of his front door, but a chill ran through your body and you had to take a few breaths before even lifting your hand to knock. Once you did, you took a step back, listening to the locks being undone before the door opened. It wasn’t who you expected to see, it wasn’t Chan, it was a girl, she looked younger, at least 15 or 16. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must have read the address wrong.” You quickly apologized, bowing your head to the girl before turning away.

“Who are you looking for?” The girl asked, and what you weren’t aware of was that she had seen Chans wallet in your hand, she knew that you had come to the right address, she was just playing a game that you didn’t know about. You quickly said his name, and she let out a soft hum. “He’s out right now. It’s date night for him and my mom.” You felt your stomach sink, deeper and deeper until it couldn’t go any further. “Is that his wallet? Thank you so much for bringing it, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you brought it back. Hopefully he’ll answer his phone so he can pick it up and pay the bill, you know?”

You nodded slowly, the bile from your stomach rising into your throat. “Y-Yeah… Of course… H-Here you go.” You stammered, your hand shaking as you handed the wallet over to the girl. You knew she wasn’t lying, she looked so much like Chan it was uncanny. Why hadn’t he told you? What was he even doing with you? He had a wife, or at least a girlfriend or fiancee… He had a child… But he was going around with you? It was beginning to add up though… Why he always wanted to go over your house. Why he’d rather go to a hotel than to bring you to his own place. You felt absolutely sick.

“Have a good night!” The girl chimed cheerfully as you made your way back to your car, the light from inside the house that had illuminated the front yard faded until you were covered in darkness. You were devastated, you were heartbroken… You had never felt more humiliated in your life and all you wanted to do was go crawl underneath a rock and hide there.

///

The meeting with his ex wife the night before had stressed Chan out beyond belief. He couldn’t believe that after 8 years she wanted to fight for custody of Ella now. Her reasoning behind it would have been laughable if they hadn’t been so damn ridiculous. By the time he had gotten home though, Ella was already in bed and he was so tired from dealing with his ex that he had gone right to bed as well. By morning, Ella had already left for school, so he’d have to wait until he got off work and she got home from school to even talk to her about what her mother had said.

Now, he was only looking forward to seeing you. You were the only person at this point who could calm him down and bring him some semblance of peace, at least for the short amount of time that he got to be with you. “Hey, lovely.” He called to you when he caught you walking down the hall. Usually you’d smile and wave, you’d even run over to him sometimes if the hall was empty. This time you just shook your head before lowering it and walking right by him.

It was a shock to say the least, and his mind immediately jumped to the worst, although he couldn’t be 100% sure of what had happened that would cause you to be acting like this. Was it because of the hotel comment the day before? Was it because he wouldn’t let you come over to his house? It couldn’t be that though, he had talked to you about it. It had to be something more, but he couldn’t figure it out. You looked absolutely pissed, like you didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Y/N!” He called out your name now, jogging down the hall to catch up with you, but you didn’t even look up at him, and you sure as hell didn’t slow down. In fact, it seemed like you sped up, like you were trying to get away from him. “Hey… What… What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?” He lowered his voice but quickened his steps to keep up with you, trying to duck down just enough to get a view of your face, but every time he got close enough you’d look away.

“I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you. Whatever it was that you made me think we had, it’s over. I’d like it if you left me alone now.” You stated flatly, your arms tightening around the multitude of folders that you clutched to your chest. “I’m changing groups, I won’t be one of your staff anymore as well, so please, don’t bother me anymore.”

Something had happened, and it wasn’t something that could easily be fixed like Chan thought. It was worse, way worse. You had basically fired yourself from being his group's staff because of whatever happened. “Hold on!” His fingers wrapped around your upper arm, stopping you from going any further. “So you’re just… Breaking up with me? You’re not even going to tell me why!?” His voice cracked as it rose in pitch, his chest rising and falling heavily as the panic fully set in. “I fucking love you, Y/N… You can’t just do this to me and not tell me why.”

When you finally looked up, he could see your eyes were glistening, your bottom lashes bedazzled with twinkling tears that clung onto them. You were just as upset as he was. “Stop pretending, Christopher!” You croaked out, sniffling loudly once the words left your chapped lips. “I refuse to be the rebound chick that you think you can run to when your marriage is on the rocks. I won’t be strung along by you, not anymore.” You took a few deep, shaky breaths to compose yourself before you pulled your arm free of Chans hold. “Now, if you don’t mind… I have another group to meet. I have work to do. I do believe that you have some work to do as well.” You bowed your head to him before turning and walking away, leaving him more confused than he was before.

His marriage… It had fallen apart years ago when he had come home to find his wife in bed with another man while his daughter was fast asleep in the room across the hall. It had been disgusting, heartbreaking, it would have been his downfall if not for his daughter and the moral, mental, and emotional support of the guys. He wasn’t sure why it was being brought up, he didn’t even know how you had found out, but that same feeling of devastation that he had felt 8 years ago was flooding him once again.

The guys… They were the only ones who would be able to talk to you, they were the only ones who knew about the secret past that Chan was trying so hard to hide from you. Would they do something like that though? Would they hurt him like that? “Yo! What’s up?” Changbin said as he came up behind Chan, his arm draping over his shoulder. “You’re… crying? What happened?” The cheerful tone was immediately dropped, and even though Changbin was younger, he was in full protection mode.

“Y/N… She… She broke up with me…. She knows about Sana…” He gasped out the words, each of them getting caught in his throat, it felt like he was choking. “Somebody told her… Someone… They had to have told her! Who!?” He was shouting now, his sadness turning to anger in a matter of seconds. The look of confusion of Changbins face was enough for Chan to know that he had no idea what Chan was talking about, and that in itself proved his innocence. That left 6 more guys to question.

“Y-You know that none of us would do that to you… Why would we do that? You were happy!” Changbin quickly defended the others as well, seeing in Chans eyes that he was on the warpath and he wasn’t going to stop until he found out who had told you. “I… I do know she went to the studio last night after you left… She… She said something about your wallet but… Maybe she went to your house to drop it off and… and…-”

“Ella…” Chan muttered out the name, a loud groan leaving him as his head fell back. “I have to go… Will you be okay? Can you run practice for me?” Now he was in a hurry, a hurry to get home, to talk to you… He had so many things he had to do, he didn’t even know where to begin. Changbin nodded his head, patting Chans shoulder before taking a step back. Truthfully, Chan didn’t know what the hell he was going to do… But he knew he had to do something. He wasn’t going to lose you… He couldn’t.

///

“Sit. Now.” Chan said, not even giving his daughter time to fully come through the door before the words left his mouth. He had been sitting at the table, thinking over and over about how he’d go about bringing it up to her, but now that she was finally home, all of his thoughts had gone out the window and all he could feel was irritation. She rolled her eyes, dropping off her bag and kicking her shoes off like she did every day, heading in the direction of her bedroom. “Did you not hear me? I want to talk to you.”

“About what?” She snapped, whipping around to face him. “About the lady that showed up on our front porch last night?” Chans eyes widened, he didn’t even have to drag it out of her, she wasn’t a liar… and for that, he was proud, he had at least taught her one good thing. “Did she dump you? Well good… You don’t deserve to be happy. Not after what you did to mom…” After… what he did…? He was stunned into silence, his head cocked to the side as he tried to think about what he could have possibly done to make him the bad guy in all of this. “She told me all about it, don’t try to act like you’re so innocent.”

Those weren’t Ellas words, those were her mothers words and she was speaking them for her. “I tried so hard to protect your mother for some reason… So that you wouldn’t think badly of her… And this is what she does.” He mumbled, running his hand through his hair and sighing heavily. “Can you please sit? I really need to talk to you…” He stretched his legs under the table, pushing out the chair across from him and motioning to it with his head. He could see the reluctance, but she finally made her way over, dropping down into the chair, but not without an eye roll and a look of disgust. “I didn’t want to tell you the truth… I didn’t want you to see your mother as anything less than what she is… But I wasn’t the one who did anything. Your mother is the reason we’re divorced…”

“You’re a liar… She said that you’d lie…” Ella mumbled, her arms crossing over her chest as she glared at her father. “Just like you lied to that lady. She didn’t even know I existed! You kept me a secret from her… Why? Are you embarrassed of me? Are you ashamed of me?” The sulky teenage attitude subsided, and he could see that she wasn’t just angry, she was upset. He never meant for it to be like this, he didn’t even think that something like this would happen. It’s not like he planned on keeping his daughter hidden forever… He just didn’t want to spring it all on you at the beginning of the relationship.

“No! God, no… El… You are an amazing daughter, you’re smart and you’re funny�� You’re the most wonderful thing I’ve ever created. I’m so proud of you…” He whispered, and he could see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. He should have told her these things a long time ago, maybe she wouldn’t be acting out, but it was too late, and now all he could do was try to fix things piece by piece. “I didn’t want to bring someone into your life unless I knew that it was serious… It’s one thing for me to be hurt… But I didn’t want you to potentially get close to her just for her to leave and hurt you too.” He swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath to prepare himself before continuing. “I divorced your mother… Because she cheated on me, Ella. Do you really think I would have gotten custody of you if it were the other way around? The man she married… That’s… That’s the guy… And they’re already divorced… And she’s already married again. She’s been married twice since the divorce, and I… I haven’t been with anyone until a couple months ago. Do you think that would be the case if I was the one who had screwed up?” He could see the gears turning in her mind as she thought about everything that he was saying, and he could see that it was all adding up. “Your mother wanted to meet up with me yesterday because she’s trying to get custody of you…”

Ellas eyes widened and her head shook fast. “No… I don’t… I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to live with her, dad.” The words were rushed out, full fledged panic written across her features. “Don’t let her take me… I want to stay with you… I’m sorry… I’m sorry I told the lady that you were having date night with mom. I’m sorry that I ruined it… I’m sorry… Please don’t let her take me.” She was crying now, absolutely bawling, and it broke his heart to see his daughter so upset.

He jumped out of his chair, running around to her side of the table and pulling her up into his arms. Right now, she wasn’t just a teenager with a bit of an attitude problem… She was his little girl, and he was going to protect her and he was going to keep her safe. He was going to fix everything, no matter what it took. “She’s not going to get you, she won’t win. You’re staying here with me… I promise.”

///

“Have you gotten a hold of her?” Ella asked, dropping down onto the couch beside her father. It had been weeks since the last time he had spoken to you, but he had seen you in the halls at the building every single day. No matter how many times he tried to stop you and explain everything, you’d just keep walking like you didn’t know him at all. Ella could see that it was breaking him, and she knew that it was her fault. “I’m really sorry, dad…” She mumbled.

Your picture was still his lockscreen, and every time a notification would pop up on his phone he would jump up, a single second of excitement and wishful thinking, only to be let down once he realized it was someone, anyone but you. “It’s okay… I’m gonna try to get some work done. Let me know when you get hungry, I’ll make us some dinner, yeah?” And she nodded slowly, waiting for Chan to get up and go into his little office before running to the front door and pulling on her shoes. If he wasn’t able to fix it, maybe she could.

The walk to the building wasn’t too far, and she knew that, for the most part, whenever her father went into his office it was so he could cry in private. That usually lasted a couple hours, and she was sure that she wouldn’t need too much time.

Everyone in the building knew her, they had heard so much about Chans daughter that she was looked at as an idol herself. They all welcomed her warmly, but she was on a mission. “Hi! Would you happen to know where an Y/L/N Y/N is? My dad sent me to make sure she got something.” She came up with it quickly, and no one seemed to question it either. They gave her the information just as fast and sent her on her way… It was far too easy… She’d have to talk to her dad about that.

The ride up the elevator gave her enough time to think about what she would say, or at least a little bit of what she’d say. Truth be told, she was nervous. She wanted things to go well for her fathers sake, but she knew that the trouble she had caused and what she did could have irreversible damage.

When the doors slid open, it was like fate had brought her here at this exact moment, because you were standing right outside the doors. “Oh… Uhm… I-I remember you…” You murmured, bowing your head to her before taking a step back. “I think you’re on the wrong floor though… Your father is a couple floors down.”

Ella shook her head, stepping out of the elevator, trying to look like she wasn’t a nervous wreck standing in front of you. “I’m here to talk to you.” She said, her head held high just to exemplify the false feeling of confidence that she was trying to give off. “Are you busy?”

“I’m very sorry if me being with your father created any problems. I’m not with him anymore though… And, with all due respect… I’m just trying to move on.”

“That’s the problem though!” Ella blurted out as you moved past her and stepped into the elevator, turning around quickly on her heel to face you, her hand pressed against the elevator door to keep it from closing. “Him and my mother aren’t together… They haven’t been together for 8 years. I… I was upset because… I didn’t understand what happened… I didn’t know why my parents weren’t together and… My mom lied and… And I’m sorry. My dad really loves you… And he wanted me to meet you… And he’s been crying every night because I ruined your relationship because I lied just like my mom and I’m… I’m really sorry, ma’am…”

She was once again crying, and you didn’t really know what to do, but it felt wrong to just stand there and watch her cry, so you hesitantly stepped out of the elevator and gave her the most awkward one armed hug. “It’s… It’s okay…” You murmured, and much to your surprise, she turned her body completely toward you and wrapped her arms around you. Whether there was a maternal bone in your body at all before this moment or not, you immediately felt the urge to comfort her, to make sure she was okay, to wipe her tears and tell her that everything would be fine. “Hey… Hey, let’s go to my office. We can get a drink and some tissues and then… I’ll take you home. Is that okay?”

Ella nodded slowly, her face scrunched up and her bottom lip pushed out. She really did look like her father. “Will you talk to him?” She asked weakly, and as much as you hated him… Now that you knew the truth… It felt like the right thing to do, so you hummed in agreement to her question, leading her down the hall to your little office and pushing the door open for her. “Y-You know… You’re still his main picture on his phone. He’s waiting for you to text him or call him or something… He misses you so much.”

You were sure that she didn’t mean to tell you so much, and you were very sure that Chan would be incredibly embarrassed if he found out that his daughter was telling you so much. “I’ll talk to him, I promise… Pinky promise.” You held out your hand, your pinky extended to her, and she quickly latched her finger around yours, a bittersweet smile tugging at her lips.

“You are really pretty… He wasn’t lying… And you’re really nice too. I would be really mad at me if I were you…” She lowered her head, her entire body slouching forward as she sat in the chair across your desk. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” Her voice was below a whisper, her question genuine, and you didn’t really know how to answer it.

“Well…” You began, your fingers drumming against your lap as you leaned back in your chair. “I don’t blame you for what you did… You’re a child and… And your parents divorced. I’m sure that any child would be upset if they found out either of their parents was dating someone else, especially if the kid doesn’t understand why their parents divorced in the first place. You were protected from the truth… But it made you do something that you regret. It’s still not your fault though, it’s no one's fault.” You reached across your desk, your hand faced up for her, and she slowly placed her hand in yours, the smile from earlier returning to her face, but this time it was just a little bigger and it reached her eyes. “Let’s go see your dad, yeah?”

///

Chan had at some point cried himself to sleep while sitting in front of his computer, but the sound of a soft knock on the door had him jolting awake. “Dad?” Ellas voice came between the small crack in the door as she peeked inside, and he quickly wiped the sleep from his eyes as he got up from his chair, almost bringing his entire laptop with him since he forgot to take the headphones off. “I ordered dinner for us… It’s here.” She said between little giggles at the way he stumbled. It was nice to hear her laugh, he hadn’t heard it in a bit, not from anyone in the house. He wondered what had changed.

“You didn’t have to do that, I would have cooked for us…” He said somberly, but he knew that she was doing it as a favor for him. He was a wreck, it was visibly noticeable that he hadn’t had more than a few hours of sleep in the past two weeks, he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. He was a shell of the man that he once was when he had you, but he knew he had to get better, he wasn’t sure how he would do that, but it wasn’t fair to Ella to constantly be like this, it would only make her feel more guilty. “I’ll be right out… Thank you.” He said when she hovered in the doorway, and he watched her walk away. There was a bounce in her step, she hadn’t been this peppy in a while. He was genuinely curious and now he was rushing out of the little studio room so that he’d be able to sit down and talk to her, maybe he could find out what was going on.

“I hope you don’t mind, I brought a friend over.” She said from the kitchen. He was adamant that he had never heard her bring up a friend, especially not one that would come over and visit. Was it a boy? She never mentioned liking anyone at school… Was she too scared to talk to him about those kinds of things? He made a mental note to sit down and talk to her about it one day this week. “Are you coming?” She called out and he hummed in agreement, trudging out of the little room with his head hung just a little.

This wasn’t the first impression that he wanted one of his daughter's friends to have of him as her father. He wanted to look more respectable for the sake of Ellas reputation. It seemed like he didn’t really have a choice though, she was rushing him to come out, and he didn’t want to keep her and whoever she had over waiting. “I apologize, I wasn’t really told that you’d be coming over.” Chan began as he walked down the hall, and he completely froze when he saw just who his daughter had brought over.

“I don’t think anyone really knew I was coming over.” You said lightly, the warmest smile spreading across your face as you looked at him. He couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t find words, all he could manage to do was open his mouth and croak out sounds as salty tears pricked his eyes. “Is it… okay… that I’m here?” You asked when the silence lasted longer than you thought it would, and he nodded his head fervently, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie.

“It’s… It’s more than okay… I just… I don’t know why… I don’t mind it though.” He rambled, looking between you and Ella who was currently setting the table for three people instead of the usual two. “You’re… staying for dinner?” He questioned, and you gave him that adorable, heart stopping smile that had stopped him in the halls of the building all of those months ago, the smile that had pushed him over the edge and made him fall for you in the beginning.

“Yes she is.” Ella spoke up, clapping her hands together to get both of your attention. “Do you want me to eat in my room… So the two of you can talk? I’m sure you have a lot to talk about… I can leave you alone if you’d like.” But you shook your head, walking over to the table and playfully ruffling her hair before opening the takeout bag and pulling out the contents.

“I’d like it a whole lot if you stayed and ate with us… But if you want to eat in your room… If your dad says it’s okay… Then you can.” You sounded so… sweet, the way a mother would talk to her own daughter, and the craziest part was that Ella smiled at you before taking a seat at the table, she actually listened to you… There was no attitude that came alone with it. “Are you just going to stand there and look at the food, or are you going to join us in eating it?” You asked, bringing Chan out of his own thoughts and back into the room.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m coming…” Chan whispered, walking into the dining room and taking his usual seat, but the aura at the table was a lot different now. It’s like the whole room had gotten 10 times brighter, and no matter which way he looked he was met with a warm smile. He had so many questions, but he knew that he had all the time in the world to ask them, and regardless of the answer… He knew that things would be better now, all of the pieces were falling back into place, and the picture was more beautiful than he had ever imagined it to be.

~6 Months Later~

��You’re gonna absolutely crush this test, I know you will.” You stood at the stove, preparing breakfast as Ella sat at the table, her face buried in her text book to get as much last minute studying in before she had to go to school. “No matter what, I want you to remember that your dad and I are so proud of you and how hard you work. Okay? We love you.” Ella hummed softly, not even looking up from her book, but you could see that she was smiling, and that was enough of a response for you to know that she had heard you, that she was listening. You carefully placed her plate down beside her, lightly tapping the table to get her attention. “Please eat. Okay?”

Chan ran out of the bedroom, his eyes barely even opened, his shirt wrinkled and twisted and his hair sticking up in all different directions. “Did she leave yet?!” He asked rather loudly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and blinking a few times before focusing in on his daughter who was looking up at him, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Don’t laugh, it’s not funny. I wanted to give you a hug before you left.” He pouted, and she quickly got up out of her chair, rushing over to Chan and wrapping her arms around him. “You’ll do great. I-”

“No more speeches! You guys are going to make me cry!” Ella dramatically whined, pulling away from Chan and running back to the table to pack her things into her bag and then shoveling as much food into her mouth as she could before going to the front door. “Love you! I’ll see you later!” She mumbled with her mouth full of food, and before the two of you could say it back she was out the door.

Once the door was shut, Chan walked over to you, his arms wrapping around your from behind as he rested his chin against your shoulder. “Hey…” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek that was dampened by tears that you hadn’t even realized had begun to fall. “What’s wrong, lovey?” He cooed, gently turning you around to face him, his head cocked to the side.

“I don’t know… I just… I’ve only been here for six months and… We’ve gotten so close and… She’ll be going off to college soon if that’s what she wants to do… But… I’m gonna miss her and the house is gonna be so empty and…” You pouted up at Chan who couldn’t help but find it adorable the way you were right now. It was the most heartwarming thing, to know that you loved his daughter so much already that you were crying at the thought of her leaving.

“Well… We have the house to ourselves for a couple of hours… We could watch a movie or something to take your mind off of being sad… Or… We could go have some fun… Surprise Ella with a brother or a sister when she comes home from college…” Your eyes widened at the suggestion, but your feet were already moving in the direction of the bedroom, that all too familiar tingly feeling building in your stomach. “We can watch a movie when we’re done… If you’re not too tired.”

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miekasa · 2 years

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Gojo 100% the type who misses having a baby / toddler at home once his son starts growing into a teen and you can't change my mind 😤

Satoru thought he would be okay. Before having kids of his own, he was basically in charge of a bunch of brats, so he figured he’d be most prepared for that step.

Megumi taught him how to appropriately shop for a middle schooler, what was cool and what wasn’t (a lesson Satoru did not take to heart), how to even talk to kid his age—not quite a baby, not quite an adult. He learned how much maintenance it really takes to have a pet—how much more it is to have two—and that for the first few years, at least, those pets are really yours, and not your kids. Megumi, who sometimes Satoru feels raised him and not the other way around, was honestly, probably the best experience a first time parent could ask for, even if the kid was bit sulkier and serious than most.

Yuuji taught him how even the smallest, most niche things can become a hobby of greater interest for a teenager. One second Satoru was funding four different gym memberships, then it was a $2000 computer and Twitch channel, then it was study abroad cooking lessons. Teenagers have a lot of interests, it’s important to let them explore all of them, even if they don’t all become lifelong passions. It’s also important to push them to try things they don’t think they like, whether that’s sports or vegetables—it’s just cauliflower, Yuuji, it won’t kill you.

Yuuta taught him that those puppy love crushes can be, and to the kids, are very real. It’s okay to tease, but if a kid can ask you for advice about love, it means they can see that you’re loved; that maybe, even if it’s in a different way, they love you, too. He also taught Satoru that, yes even though he’s technically encroaching upon adult age, that he’s still very much reliant on the advice and expertise of adults—that no matter how old kids get, they’ll always need you.

(That brought Satoru a lot of comfort, not that he’d admit it to anybody).

And your kid isn’t even a teenager, not even close at barely seven years old, but that’s when Satoru first started learning from Megumi, and it’s starting to hit a little close to home. His little boy isn’t so little anymore and he wants to scream about it. He doesn’t need extra hugs before he’s dropped off at school, he doesn’t need Satoru’s help playing games, he doesn’t even need help with his laundry.

Satoru all but cries to you. “Maybe he got swapped with a clone. I was never that independent that young. He’s supposed to be my mini me. It’s too soon, somebody must have taken our real baby,” Satoru practically has tears in his eyes, clinging to you in fetal position as you attempt to read your book in bed.

You give up, setting your book down to place a hand on your husband’s head. “Will you relax. Isn’t it a good thing?”

“Absolutely not. I miss when he was small.”

“He’s barely a three and half feet tall.”

“Smaller. Next thing you know, he’ll be taller than me. I can’t take that,” Satoru sighs. You know he’s being dramatic, but you get it; they grow up far too quickly. “I want him to be my baby forever.”

“He is your baby. And you still have a whole lot of babies,” you remind him. “Didn’t Yuuji ask you help him with his car stuff the other day? I think you’re still Megumi and Yuuta’s emergency contact.”

“Those are big babies, I want smaller babies,” Satoru frowns, pressing his cheek against your tummy. You chuckle and run your hands through his hair. A few moments of silence pass, and Satoru brings a hand to rub against your stomach, before quietly posing the question that’s been on his mind for far too long, “What if we had another?”

#anonymous #HHHHHHH IN MY BAG. BIG BAG. BIG TIME BIRKIN SAD ABOUT HIMMMMMMMM #('u know if we have another theyre gonna grow up too satoru?' 'shh dont say that xoxo')#not pictured: satoru pouting because he's not yuuji's emergency contact LMFAO #satoru: see he has a different dad for that!!! im not even his favorite!!! i hate it here!!!!#gojo x reader #satoru.ask #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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janyiahsucks-blog · 11 months

Text

Rodeo Clown

a lyric fic inspired by rodeo clown by dijon

wc 1.9k

warnings: commitment issues, slight angst, teenagers being stupid

“Well I can't lie, I couldn't wait

But it's half-past eight and you're late again”

This is the fourth time this month miles has been late for one of your “hangouts” if you can even call them hangouts. They’re more dates than anything. At the moment the two of you are at a stand still in the no man’s land between relationship and friendship but you can’t shake the fact that something is off. Ever since he became spider-man he’s been blowing you off but some of that is slightly expected. Now more than ever though it’s been getting worse. Like you can’t even get a hold of him and he’s always talking about this strange new friend who doesn’t seem to have any name. But you know he knows we all know everyone knows it’s Gwen. The girl he started being friends with right before all of this started. Before what you thought was a life long friendship with a completely unrequited crush turned into so much more.

“Well, I got those high heels on, and lace

And I spent two or three hours beatin' my face”

Tonight’s date was supposed to be special it was supposed to be something of an anniversary since the two of you started “talking” (as he called it) six months ago. You spent about two whole hours making yourself look as good as possible. Dressing up to the nines pulling out your favorite products to style your hair and maybe a bit more makeup than usual. But once again he was no where to be found. You whip out your phone and send the fourth text this hour.

you: hey miles is everything okay?

you: ur really late now

you: if you’re not coming can you js tell me that

you: don’t even bother anymore miles i’m going home. i hope wtv it was is important.

“So why? Could you explain?

I can't lie, I'm fed up”

Sick and tired were the only words to describe how you felt walking home alone. The ghost of him lingered on the walk as if he was right beside you. But he wasn’t he was undoubtedly most likely somewhere with Gwen. She seemed to be the only topic with him recently.

“Yeah me and my new friend we had such a fun time when we went there” “Me and my friend swung through here once it was like the highlight of my day.” “My new friend is a little quicker than you so I gotta adjust my pace when we walk together”. Though she was nameless for the past few months he used to address her by name. You never put the face to the name never even met her ,but you knew it was always her.

“I don't like being stood up

And hey, hey

What are you ashamed of?”

The only thought that could cross your mind was. “Why?” What was so wrong with you that you couldn’t be placed on the same pedestal as Gwen. It’s always Gwen this Gwen that but never you. Your name never graces the same smile that hers does. His eyes light up and his voice shifts a pitch when he talks about her. Like that’s his entire world. What is he so ashamed of when he’s with you. He hides you from the world and his parents haven’t even met you. Maybe they met Gwen though. One thing was for sure you couldn’t stand being stood up like this again.

“So what are you so afraid of?

'Cause you're missin' out

On good, good lovin'”

“You know what if he doesn’t wanna answer me i’ll just call him” You mutter under your breath sighing out of pure frustration.

After five rings and no answer you hear his voice “Hey it’s Miles” “Finally you’re gonna answer-“ “I’m not at the phone right now probably super busy with a bunch of cool stuff but you can leave a message. Peace” And a long aggravating beep. “If you never wanted something serious that’s all you had to say. You never had to lead me on or leave me stranded at that stupid fancy restaurant lookin all stupid Miles. Go be with that stupid Gwen girl or whatever her name is cause it’s obvious that everything we have ain’t as serious as whatever you have goin with her” Your voice cracks out of pure rage and a little (lot) of sadness. The heavy feeling in your chest returns. “All I wanted to do was love you man” You say to no one in particular just trying to put the thought into the air. Hoping and praying it would relieve some of the tension.

“You ride those rank bulls and get first place

Eight seconds is all it takes

You got those silver spurs on

And chaps 'round your waist

Calloused hands, and dirt on your face”

You knew all it took to be spider-man. The constant late nights and beatings. Miles would come crawling through the fire escape attached to your window. Bruises and blood seeping through the suit. Patch ups and crying sessions. Either you on his shoulder begging him to be safe. Or him on yours pushing all his problems into the safe atmosphere of your arms. You knew the tolls both mental and physical that it took on him. Never knowing if the scars you see will be the worst of it all. Trying to hold onto the memories the two of you made while he was out protecting the city and putting his life on the line.

“And hey, hey

I still wear the t-shirt that you gave me”

You finally made your way home unlocking the door and sighing before trudging to your bathroom and washing off all the makeup you took so long on stripping yourself of your cutest outfit. Putting on the shirt Miles left on the floor of your room one night. The one you thought framed him the best but he said it “look way better on you”. Pushed it on you to keep it and he could just wear his hoodie home. Reluctantly you agreed wishing you had something of his to keep you company when he was gone.

“So what are you so ashamed of?

Rodeo could kill ya”

He never really tried to bring up his spider-man duties to you. He thought it would bore you and you didn’t wanna hear some of the gory details of his day to day. You wished you could hear it all though. Just know he’s safe, know nothing out there is trying their hardest to kill him. The job is deadly and you both were fully aware of the topic yet he tried to dance around it. Never fully bringing up the whole word to you to keep you out of danger and him out of a strong headache. You were his safe space and he didn’t wanna invade that with spider-man. He didn’t want what the two of you had to be infected just like every other part of his life.

“I just wanna kiss ya

But you won't let me near ya

But I'm here all the same”

Lately though it’s like he’s been putting up these walls. Slowly but surely placing the bricks day by day it’s like you get less and less out of him. One week it’s long heartfelt conversations all night the next it’s short one word responses to all of your texts. You just wanted to be there for him more than anything but he won’t let you close enough to do that. All you wanted to do was hold him in your arms and kiss his forehead telling him everything would work out and this is just temporary. You’d be there in all the other ways he would let you though even the smallest ones.

“At the rodeo, I

Put my face on and smile

And you ride good”

Miles runs his hands through his hair trying not to rip it out of the roots. “Shit shit SHIT” He paces around his room trying to keep himself controlled. He was out on patrol once again forgetting about another date. He made his way home about five minutes ago with a proud smile on his face. He just defeated one of the sickest villains in Brooklyn and got him straight to jail. His smile dropped when he took out his phone and saw around seven notifications from you on his phone. “Oh fuck I’m so fucked”. He knew that keeping up with a “relationship” could be stressful especially as spider-man. But you, you handled it with such grace. Always knowing what to say and do. Being there for him without him having to say a word and nothing made him prouder than parading you around town. Telling all his friends about you and Ganke couldn’t go five minutes without hearing your name. He tried to keep up he really did but he just couldn’t. God he loved you he just really had a funny way of showing it.

“And I get scared watchin' you

And the crowd gets wild, run to you”

He runs out of his room as soon as he sees all the texts and listens to the voicemail. He barely has enough time to put on his coat as he rushes to your house. A few minutes later he finds himself sprinting up your fire escape. The knocks on your window scared you as you tried to fall asleep.

“Hey mi amor open the window please”

You make no efforts to get out of bed and unlock your window and he sees that.

“Please you gotta let me make this up to you. I’m sorry I swear just lemme explain myself”

He placed his head against the window as tears start to pool in his eyes. You finally open the window and quickly turn your back to him trying to make some distance between the two of you.

“So where were you Miles”

A sigh escapes his lips quickly. “I was out on patrol”

“With Gwen…” You cut him off quickly.

“What…No not with Gwen. Why would it matter if I was.” He cocks his head to the side trying to get a grip on what the problem really is.

“I dunno you just seem to be spending a lot of time with her that’s all.” She shrugs trying to make herself seem nonchalant even though this conversation was killing her on the inside.

“Is this what this is about. Gwen….Really?” He scoffs.

“Yes Miles I mean you seem to prioritize her over whatever this is. You never even asked me out yet you’ve been taking me on dates and sneaking through my window for months. It’s like this means nothing to you. You’re always so quick to talk her up though. If you really wanna be with her go do it.”

Miles silently crossed the room and wrapped his arms around you placing his head in the crook of your neck.

“I run to you, I run to you, I run to you

I love you, I love you”

“I’m sorry for letting these thoughts fill up your mind baby. It was never like that with her I swear to you. She’s just my friend someone I can talk to about all my spider-man stuff.

He runs his hands across his face sighing before continuing his speech.

“I love you mi amor. That’s why I’ve been acting like this. I didn’t know how to address it or if you would feel the same way and I was scared. I was so so scared. I’m sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me and not explaining. I’ll do better; I’ll be better. I promise”

He kisses you on the cheek gently holding you like you could break if he applied any more pressure.

“Will you let me be your boyfriend”

sorry for the long ahh fic 💀💀 anyway u should gimme requests and stuff. thankssss

#miles x reader #astv fanfic #atsv x reader #miles morales x reader #atsv fanfiction #miles morales x you #miles morales #miles morales 1610 #across the spider verse spoilers #miles morales headcannons #across the spiderverse #atsv miles #spiderman atsv #Spotify

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xiaq · 11 months

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Why do feelings have to be so confusing???

I’ve never been super into labels, but if I had to choose I probably would have gone with aroace. I kind of figured I wouldn’t ever find someone I wanted to be in a relationship with and that was fine.

But now I’m 30 and somehow in a relationship for the very first time with this person that I love so much. And it’s wonderful and amazing in so many ways, but I also feel so crazy with it??

I feel like a teenager with their first crush but also too old for that and it’s like I don’t know how to trust myself in this because I’ve never felt anything close to this before.

Feeling romantic and sexual attraction for the first time there’s a part of me that’s like how has everyone been living like this the whole time??? It still doesn’t feel like it should be real somehow, even though I’m now experiencing it firsthand.

Anyway I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this, but if you either advice or even just stories to make me feel a little less ridiculous, I’d love to hear them!

I think it's really REALLY important to remember that socially reinforced ideas of normalcy when it comes to exploring sexuality are not, actually, normal. A. Because people are people and what works for one person doesn't work for others. While there's obviously going to be a bell curve on the graph of "when do people typically sort out who they want to kiss (or not kiss) and start doing that" there is going to be a steady, not insignificant, number of folks that are on the upward and downward swing of that bell curve before you even get to the far outliers, and that's to be expected. B. Traditionally accepted timelines for building a sense of sexual identity don't apply anymore. The average age for (first) marriage is creeping back each year. In the US in 1900 it was 26 for men and 22 for women. Now it's 29 and 27 respectively. Women, especially, don't have nearly the pressure placed upon them that they used to to quickly find someone who will take care of them seeing as we can now open bank accounts and own property and work for (mostly) equal pay and all that jazz. So there's that to consider.

But also. Humans, human bodies, are never stagnant. You might have heard the fun factoid that all our cells are replaced every 7 years. That's not entirely accurate, but it's true that the body does regenerate skin and bone and liver and stomach, and so on, cells at a kind of mind-boggling rate. There are things that we're born with that don't change like some of the neurons in our cerebral cortex, I think, but as a species we are generally made to adapt to new experiences and environments so much so that our bodies are in a constant state of change themselves. You're just...doing what you're built to do. Something new has happened and you're adapting to it.

And yes, it can be scary and make you feel very vulnerable when you don't have historical relationship or sex-related context like other people your age might have, but that's when you get to lean on friends and/or talk to your therapist to make sure you're approaching things in a healthy way, there aren't red flags you're missing, etc. Because humans are also pack animals and we thrive in communities in which we can share each others burdens and wisdom.

As someone who also had built what I thought was a pretty clear assessment of my romantic and sexual identity over 29 years, only to have it challenged and rebuilt at 30, I fully empathize with the way you feel. But I leaned into the feelings of confusion (and frankly, giddiness, at times). Who says teenagers are the only ones that get to experience first crushes? Who says 30 is too old for self-discovery? You get to decide how you interact with the world. Who cares what other people are doing if what you're doing makes you happy and hurts no one.

#no guilt in my pleasures #sexuality #hopefully this helps #answered asks #aroace

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fantastic-nonsense · 2 years

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Hi! I absolutely love your DC character and relationship dissections, and I really want to integrate Helena Bertinelli into a fic that I’m currently writing, but I don’t remember a lot of the specifics as to her relationship to Tim? Could you please tell me??

Thank you so much! Yes, I'm happy to talk about Tim and Helena, especially because no one talks about them anymore (which is very sad, because they're adorable and I miss them 😭)

Okay, so there are five comics you need to read if you're interested in Helena and Tim:

Robin III: Cry of the Huntress

"Benedictions" (Showcase '94 #5, Robin (1993) #6, and Showcase '94 #6)

The No Man's Land saga

Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood

Batman: Gotham Knights #38-40 ("Knight Moves")

There's several other scattered individual issues and arcs that showcase some fun interactions, especially in Tim's Robin solo, but these probably give the best contained progression of their relationship.

Put simply, they're really good friends and have a deep trust in each other as heroes. Tim was the first member of the Batfamily to trust Helena and to work with her, and Helena often looked out for him during his early years as Robin. Helena and Bruce had a very contentious relationship (putting it mildly) for a long time, and Tim stuck up for Helena to both Bruce and Alfred on multiple occasions. Meanwhile, Helena clocked Tim as "just some kid" pretty early on and was concerned enough to try and look out for him, but also didn't condescend to him very much.

Right from the beginning, in Cry of the Huntress, they're pretty snarky with each other and Helena engages in some good-natured ribbing at Tim's expense that Tim doesn't take kindly to, but it's also pretty clear that Helena isn't dismissing his skills just because he's a kid and that Tim respects her even though Bruce doesn't like her:

"You're late. We were supposed to meet after midnight. Batman never give you a watch?" "And you wonder why Batman doesn't ever mention you." -Cry of the Huntress #3 (1992)

Helena's a schoolteacher, and that's actually really important context when it comes to understanding her relationship with Tim. She knows how to talk to kids in a way that doesn't make them feel like she's talking down to them, and that's something Tim really needed at that point in his life. He was a kid and relatively new vigilante feeling rather insecure in his skills...but he was also a stubborn, prideful teenage boy who needed more than Bruce and Alfred's dysfunctional attempts to take care of him and his own father's well-meaning but neglectful attempts to parent him. So here's Helena, someone basically unconnected to the mess that is the 90s Batfam, who's more than willing to tag-team a case with Tim even though he's 13 and working for a guy she really doesn't like. Breath of fresh air, much?

Tim and Helena are actually fairly similar when they first meet; they're both rather quick-tempered, quick-witted, and impatient, for example. Even if they won't admit it, they both feel like they have something to prove to those around them. Helena has the benefit of being significantly "older, wiser, and more worldly" than Tim, but Tim has the benefit of being personally trained by Batman and is a bit more naturally analytically minded. Helena has a lot more trauma under her belt and a much larger thirst for violent vengeance than Tim does, but she's also a lot more independent and better able to look past what's immediately in front of her...so they balance each other out well.

It's a very cute and fun dynamic characterized largely by a lot of back-and-forth good-natured teasing:

"I reread the comic. It's about a man who puts on a mask to fight the crime family he was born into. Pretty weird stuff." "You looked in a mirror lately, Huntress?" "Nice." -Showcase '94 #6

"Hey, been keeping busy?" "If I'd known you were coming, I'd have saved a thug. "Thanks, but pass." -JLA/Titans #1 (1999)

Fast forward a couple of years and a few more adventures, including No Man's Land, where a whole bunch of nonsense happens to everyone (including Helena getting shot trying to save a bunch of infants from being murdered by the Joker, leading her to believe she's on her own and none of the Bats trust her), and we see that Tim is the only other 'Bat' besides Dick to explicitly voice that he believed she was innocent when Helena was framed for murder in Cry for Blood:

"I think she's innocent. I think she's being framed.......why would she be so sloppy? If she really did it, why would she make it so easy to blame her? She's smarter than that..." -Cry for Blood #3

And he works to clear her name from the beginning, something Bruce and the rest of the Bats don't start doing until later:

"...spending the week in the library clipping photocopies." "You're the one who wanted to clear her. I'm willing to let it go..." -Cry for Blood #3

Of all the Bats, Tim is the only person in this story (besides Dick, who somewhat loses faith in her after she accidentally shoots Bruce in the chest with a crossbow bolt) who pretty clearly respects not only her intelligence and skills but also her morals to the point where he basically doesn't even entertain the possibility that she killed the man. Tim knows who Helena is, and while he knows she's willing and able to kill he also knows she wouldn't have (or at the very least, she wouldn't have been this sloppy about it if she had).

Later on, he's also rather charmingly protective of Helena when he finds her with Vic Sage, rather like a bratty little brother being immature about his older sister bringing a boyfriend home:

"Boy Wonder. This is a surprise." "Heard you were back in town. Who are you?" "He's okay, Robin." -Cry for Blood #5

So that's sort of the basics of their dynamic: Tim is the smart-ass younger brother figure who loves that Helena treats him like a grown-up (even though she constantly teases him about his age). Helena is equally charmed and annoyed by this snarky well-meaning kid who lowkey stalks her on more than one occasion and seems to know more about her own family history than she does, but she also deeply appreciates the respect and trust he shows her as a hero.

That's about where they stand when Helena's arc in Gotham Knights rolls around. As time went on and they worked together more often, Helena came to think of him as her little brother to the point where when she hallucinates him after being drugged, he calls her his "big sister":

"Sleep later, big sister. Bad guys. Smackdown. You and me. Just like old times." "Sister?" "C'mon, you didn't get hit that hard." "Who...who hit me?" "Thugs. Skells. Lowlifes. Scumballs. Pick a flavor." -Gotham Knights #38

The panels I have in my "Tim Drake is the Batfam's Collective Younger Brother" folder is a lot, by the way. He just attracts older sibling figures...it's part of his charm.

And that's where their relationship stays until a) Helena stopped regularly showing up in Bat books and only really appeared in Birds of Prey and b) Tim started losing loved ones and slowly shutting people out of his life post-One Year Later. After that...we unfortunately don't get much on-panel interaction between the two of them, though they seemed to maintain a pretty good "off-screen" relationship based on the minimal interactions we did get.

So yes, they're very cute and I find it really sad most people either completely ignore Helena all-together or ignore Helena and Tim's relationship even when they do include her, especially because he's basically the reason she ended up semi-regularly working with the Batfam in the first place. Let Tim be the adult Batfam's collective younger brother again 2k22 (just because he's the middle child now doesn't mean he can't still fill the role)!

Postscript: talking about post-Flashpoint!Tim and Helena is basically a lost cause for two reasons: one, Tim was quite literally a different person for the first five years of the reboot until Tynion gave him back his pre-reboot backstory and personality in Detective Comics Rebirth. Two, Helena didn't exist for four years and was largely a completely different person when she finally did show back up in Grayson; she's only recently gotten most of her pre-reboot history restored via the Shadow of the Bat: The Tower storyline in 2021 and hasn't had much interaction with Tim since. They basically haven't had much of a relationship to speak of since 2011, which is pretty sad given their pre-reboot dynamic but also largely explains why modern fandom doesn't really...know they're friends. More things to curse Dan Didio and the DC editorial staff for.

#tim drake #helena bertinelli #long post #tim drake meta #helena bertinelli meta #dc comics #batfam #asks #LET TIM HAVE ALL HIS BIG SISTERS BACK 2K22!

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foxymoxynoona · 5 months

Note

I won’t lie foxy. I’ve expressed before how much i LOVEEEE your stories. The JK ones are always rereads bc they aren’t just some teenage netflix boo-boo story (not putting them down. some of these stories are great even if they are cheesy and immature sometimes) but the depth, and etc yours have give me so much serotonin ….

ANYWAYSSSS I have to admit, I love that you fulfill my guilty pleasure of adding pregnancy in a good amount of your stories, some being the main plot of it (sugar fairy and meadow(even tho that one stressed me out and bc of that i haven’t been able to reread it yet😝).

I think pregnancy is such a real thing. I’m also at the age and part of my life that talking about pregnancy and having kids although scary. it’s not completely off putting, since i’m not an immature unstable teenager anymore😭 lololol. and it’s a super important factor in all relationships, so for you to bring it into the storyline (especially when we’re talking about REAL mature adults over the age of like 22) and they all have different plot lines which i think it’s also a huge misconception in the fanfic world. so many put down on “found family” or “accidental pregnancy” and i’m unfortunately a who’re for them and not many write about that AU.

So when i see yours, ones i haven’t read yet. part of me lowkey be sitting there like “oh shit she gon get knocked up and then we will see character growth and the relationship build” NO. YOY DONT MAKE THE PREGNANCY THE ARC OF THE STORY AND YES THAT IS SO HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL BIT IM TOXICCFFF

like i lowkey was wanting an accidental pregnancy in Amended. I know that would of definitely thrown off the entire arc of the story and character development (for isabella specifically). I like to think that would of been so fun and cute to see. like i know she would of been miserable and gotten in her head bc “history repeats itself” but it would of been cool to see her “repeat history” but change it. JK wasn’t like the last two BDs and etc. Although Izzy got on my nerves 90% of the story, i can’t judge her for trauma she couldn’t control and her forced responses to it and who knows, maybe adding the accidental pregnancy would of probably been so bad there would of been no happy ending but like i said. I’m a whore for an accidental or ex-lovers (parents aus).

I also think bc you write pregnancy/growing families stories so well that I would love to see a good toxic “got knocked up first then fell in love” story from you… maybe a college au make it spicy.

.. I will not ask you to write my deepest guilty pleasure but i def know you would kill it either way. I hate that i’m so anti older woman bc i wanna read the Over the Falls but as a girl who is barely 24 and still thinks she’s 19. the idea of being way older than Jungkook makes me want to throw up

Have a good day and don’t mind me, I might go reread Meadows now bc i lowkey miss the smut and bronny is so sexy once she leaves Korea (spoiler)

This was a wild read from start to finish! I find it a little strange you came to a writer who is older than Jungkook to insult women who are older than Jungkook --we don't condone any age-related hate around here, but especially not about women in their 30s living and loving! -- but you also insult teenagers so I take it you only like poeple you're own age? 😅 I definitely encourage you to broaden your mindset here though. You will continue to age, and you will also be older than people around you, and you too will understand in the not so distant future that 30s is not old at all, and that you still deserve all the happiness and romance and to be the protagonist of stories 🥰

Other than that though, I'm very glad you've enjoyed my stories! I just wrote what I wanted to read and didn't expect it would resonate with others and have been delighted to find there are those who it does! There are SO many aspects of life, and pregnancy and motherhood are not the journey for all women, but it's a space I've also found oddly lacking in honesty and variety in many of the stories I've read so it's been fun to connect with others or even just present new ideas around what those aspects of life can look like.

And look I'm all for messiness in stories 😈 I think people make mistakes and behave badly and can be their worst selves in certain situations and it's good to represent that honestly! And sometimes I just want a guilty pleasure messy story without apology😎You're totally right, Amended would have been a very different story. Personally, I do not think it would have gone well, but maybe they would have figured things out eventually and still ended up somewhere happy! You bet your buns I've written accidental pregnancy stories (other than Meadow)... one I may share some day, the other ones I"m not so sure, they were a little too guilty-pleasure to post I think 😂

#asks #amended

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damn-stark · 10 months

Text

Chapter 4 One rule

Chapter 4 of Stargirl

A/N- Nancy brings out y/n’s mommy issues.

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, violence and blood, fluff! SLOWBURN, long chapter.

Pairing- Steve Harrington x fem!reader, male!oc x fem!reader

Episode- 2x08 and a part of 2x09

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

He only gave you a few rules. Only a few. One which doesn’t matter—well it probably will after tonight, but the important rule was NOT to go to Hawkins Lab.

And what are you doing?

“I don’t see him,” Dustin comments as you come to a stop on top of a hill that overlooks the sleepy town.

Lucas pulls out his binoculars in some hope he’ll see the roaring monsters heard in the distance, but it’s dark now, there’s trees everywhere, he won’t see shit.

“It’s the lab,” Lucas interjects and lowers the binoculars. “They were going back home.”

They need you, so you’re going to Hawkins Lab. Even though there’s multiple of those monsters.

“We should go somewhere that’s not monster infested,” you try to suggest to the group. “We can go to my house, ask my dad for help. Ask my uncle Jim for help since he knows about this shit. We can’t—”

“Wait,” Dustin cuts you off while you continue to walk towards Hawkins Lab. “Wait, rewind. Your uncle Jim? Chief Jim Hopper?”

Both Lucas and Dustin look at you with shock, and you don’t know why they’re in disbelief.

“Yes,” you respond slowly. “Jim Hopper is my uncle.”

Dustin hums. “Hm, they don’t look like brothers,” he says.

You scoff and shoot him a pointed look. “Half brothers,” you clarify.

“Why didn’t you say?” Dustin query’s.

You shrug. “You didn’t ask. And why would I?”

“Because I was talking about him when I told you everything!” Dustin exclaims out of annoyance. “Because it’s important information.”

“To who?!” You yell back. “It’s not important I haven’t even seen the man in years! It doesn’t matter, what matters is what we’re doing! We can’t go to that lab with one gun, a flimsy wrist rocket and a bat with nails. We will die.”

“We’re just going to scope the place out,” Lucas interjects. “See what brought them all here. And if there’s some way to get rid of them, we will then call for support.”

You nod slowly. “Yeah, children and high school teenagers?” You quip. “What can possibly go wrong?”

Dustin nods as if nothing is wrong with what you just said. “Yes. But hey you can run home to your daddy if you’re scared.”

You scoff, and Steve cuts in now. “She has a gun. She leaves so does the gun. We need her. So stop fighting, you're all getting on my every last nerve.”

You let out an annoyed exhale and decide to walk ahead considering you’re the one with the gun. And you are one of the eldest.

“Hey,” Steve nudges you as he falls beside you. “You okay?”

You look down at your palm that’s not bleeding anymore and then look back at him and nod. “Yeah, children just drain my patience. It also doesn’t help that we are walking to death.”

Steve sighs and nods lightly. “Yeah that does it, but think about this. We’re helping something bigger than us.”

You let your gaze linger on him before you smile at the ground. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I almost ran too, you know? I was where you are now,” he adds, pulling your gaze back to him. “But—”

“It feels nice being needed?” You fill his sentence.

Steve draws out a deep breath and averts his gaze. “That’s not what I was gonna say, but,” he pauses and looks ahead. You watch him ponder before he nods. “It’s a part of it.”

You hum softly and follow his line of gaze. “Then why did you go back?” You probe.

Steve slides his eyes to the corner, and you slide your gaze to the corner to meet his.

“I was being stupid,” he mutters. “I couldn’t just leave her behind.”

You begin to smirk. “So you didn't pretend you didn’t care.” You nudge him. “And you got the girl.”

Steve scoffs as he rolls his eyes. “Yeah I suppose you’re right….thank you for being stupid earlier. Luring them with your blood saved my ass.”

Your smirk turns to a soft smile and your heart skips a beat. “I couldn’t just leave you behind.”

Steve’s eyes soften and a small smile tugs on his lips. You hold his gaze for a lingering moment, but you then look at the darkness ahead.

You still feel it. You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t, but that pining is still there. It only burns hotter as you feel his gaze on you, as you feel how close he walks beside you. As you see how brave he is.

You could avoid him until all these feelings fade away, but you also don’t want to, you’ve dug into each other's souls too deeply to come out with nothing now. So you’ll just ignore these feelings, you will. You’ll even stop coming back to the same thoughts. Because it’s happening. You’ll walk the rest way towards Hawkins Lab in silence, focusing on the monsters.

The kids walking behind you threaten to break your silence and focus, but you manage to ignore them. You focus and manage to lose some of your fear as well.

However, just as you approach the end of the tree line a voice calls out in the distance.

Can it be that the monsters somehow learned to talk? Mimic voices?

“We’re going towards the voice?” You ask fearfully.

Dustin walks past you. “Yes, it can be help,” he mutters.

“What if the monsters learned to mimic voices,” you whisper sharply out of fear it’d hear you.

“You watch too many scary movies,” Steve comments back.

You scoff in protest, but pick up your pace to walk beside him with your gun pointed ahead.

“Who's there?!” The voice yells out again.

You narrow your eyes and notice…Nancy?

“Who’s there?!”

It’s Jonny too.

You lower your gun and when you walk out of the tree line they both come at full view. And they look just as shocked as all of you.

“Steve?!” They both call out.

You strap your shotgun around your shoulder and meet Nancy's bewildered look.

“Y/N?” She asks with confusion.

You offer her a tightlipped smile in response.

“Nancy?” Steve questions.

“Jonathan,” Dustin names.

That’s right Jonathan. Ha.

“What are you two doing here?” Nancy directs at Steve and you.

You part your lips to give a summary, but Steve interjects first. “What are you doing here?”

“We’re looking for Mike and Will,” Nancy responds.

Mike and Will? Mike and Will? They sound familiar…

Aha! Dustin’s friend, and the boy that disappeared but came back!

“They’re not in there, are they?” You point to the lab with your thumb.

“We’re not sure,” Nancy answers quieter.

“Why?” Jonathan asks.

And as if on cue the monsters screech out, making a chill crawl up your spine.

At least Nancy’s is here now. After trying to look for her she’s here where you least expected. Now you can all die together. Yay.

“Don’t you hear them?” Dustin asks and walks towards the closed front gate.

Nancy blinks in confusion and again as if on cue the monsters screech from inside, shooting terror in both Nancy and Jonathan that’s clear as day.

“Whatever we need to do,” you interject. “Let’s do it fast before they decide they want to come outside again.”

“Well the damn gate is closed,” Jonathan points out, drifting all of your eyes to the abandoned station. Which isn’t good, all your instincts are telling you to get out, that there’s more than meets the eye.

The lab isn’t abandoned, there should be guards. One at least. If not out here there should’ve been one already coming out to shoo you away.

But do they listen to you? No! They all want to be heroes, and you…are following them too…

“Well yeah the power is out,” Steve says as if seeing the lab basked in darkness doesn’t make that point obvious.

“Is this what you’ve been doing?” Nancy asks. “Chasing these things?”

“Yeah—”

You snort, causing Steve to stop and for all pair of eyes to fall on you in confusion. “What?” You quip. “We didn’t chase ‘em. We lured one and then got ambushed by multiple. We barely escaped with our lives. We wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for…” you trail off since you have no idea what called them away so suddenly.

“Something called them here, we don’t know what, or why, but they came here,” Dustin finishes for you. “That’s why we’re here. We’re following they’re trail.”

Steve hums in agreement, and Nancy's gaze still doesn’t leave you.

“I still don’t understand why you’re here y/n?” She asks for clarification.

You sigh. “They needed help and I had a gun. That’s literally how I got involved in all this.” That and you also are unofficially helping your father.

Nancy hums in comprehension and you catch the pointed glare she directs at Steve. What for? Getting you involved? Jealousy? Who knows. She did it and Steve just looks confused.

“Are the people you’re looking for really in there?” You ask her now.

Nancy and Jonathan share a worried look before Jonathan shrugs and answers. “That’s what we came to see. Will wasn’t home. Have you guys seen Will or Mike at all today?”

“We haven’t seen Will—”

“I haven’t seen him since…”

They all begin to talk over one another, making you sigh in annoyance. Luckily Nancy departs from the group and points something out. “The powers back.”

You break away from your spot by Steve and follow Nancy, noticing all the lights of the lab slowly turn on floor by floor until finally the entire area is lit again, and they’re hopes of getting in are rekindled.

Nevertheless, when Jonathan tries to open the gate the buttons still don’t seem to work.

“Let me try,” Dustin butts in and leaves your side to begin to argue with Jonathan inside the box.

“No—”

“Let me try, Jonathan!” You hear Dustin complain. When you look over you see him urgently press the same button, but to not avail.

“Does anyone know how to rewire wires?” You ask the group.

Max looks back at you and redirects your question. “Do you?”

You shake your head and lean back against the car. “No. I was just asking so we can find a way in.”

“Try talking to your dad again,” Steve says over his shoulder.

Let’s see if he answers this time.

You slide your backpack off your shoulder and twist back to reach for your walkie, however, as you do strain your hand a sharp pain hits you where you cut your palm. “Oh fuck!”

You’ve been so preoccupied that the pain doesn’t even register until now.

“You haven’t gotten that patched up?” Steve query’s and turns around completely to face you.

You cradle your wounded hand and shake your head. “I haven’t had the time. Can someone please reach in and grab my walkie?”

Steve moves to do what you asked, but Nancy is closer so she beats him to your aide. She ends up quickly finding the walkie, and places it on your waiting hand, but she cuts in too. “Turn around.”

You slowly do as she asks and see her holding a bandage and alcohol. “found this in your backpack. Let me help you.”

The corner of your lips pull to a smile and you don’t hesitate to give her your hand. Albeit before she can begin any progress the doors begin to open, pulling everyone’s attention to it.

“Hey!” Dustin chuckles. “I got it! I got it!”

Jonathan and him step out of the box and with not a second to spare Jonathan hurries to the parked car.

“Nancy get it, the rest of you wait here,” he throws out.

“I’ll help you after,” Nancy now directs at you and hands you your stuff back. “Can I borrow your gun?”

Your eyes widen. “My gun?” You ask nervously. “Do you know how to use it?”

From the corner of your eyes you see Steve shake his head before he interjects. “She has a thing about guns,” he talks about you.

You sigh as you hesitate, but you don’t want to go in and potentially fight more monsters so you pull your gun off your shoulder and hand it to Nancy.

“Hey!” Steve remarks.

“Don’t lose it,” you warn her and step away from the car as she hurries to the passenger seat. “Please.”

Nancy offers you a tightlipped smile and a quick assuring nod, which isn’t that assuring at all. None of her response is reassuring, but you watch as Jonathan drives away with her and your dads gun, leaving you once again before you can even talk.

“How come you let her use it?” Steve immediately complains.

You meet his gaze and shrug. “I mean when you asked for a gun, I thought all this was fake. I mean I heard about all this weird shit, but a part of me didn't want to believe it. Now that I’m here, after I fought a monster, I would have let you use it.”

Steve scoffs, and you shoot him a small smile before you hand him your first aid supplies Nancy got out. “Just help me please.”

Steve lets out a deep sigh, but he snatches your hand towards him and begins to wrap the bandage around your cut.

“Please disinfect first,” you interrupt his attempts.

Steve glares up at you, but he pulls the bandage off and hands it to you so he can rip open the alcohol wipe. You snicker and watch him carefully wipe it over your wound.

“Does it hurt?” He asks in a softer voice.

You feel the alcohol stinging your cut and wince before you can assure him with a lie. “Yeah,” you mumble.

Steve continues to wipe your cut softer this time.

“I thought of something,” you interject with a tiny smile. “A game of sorts.”

Steve briefly glances at you. “Okay,” he probes. “What is it?”

“We have to say a goal we want to accomplish after making it out of this,” you share happily. “One or two, how many you want. It just has to be a goal. Something you’ll commit to.”

Steve lifts his head and drops the dirty wipe and slightly narrows his gaze out of curiosity. “Okay, I’ll play. You go first though.” He takes the bandage from you and once again begins to carefully wrap the bandage around your hand.

“Okay,” you laugh giddly. “I want to learn how to play the drums. My friend Eddie invited me to join his band, but I am musically untalented, so I want to learn to play the drums. Maybe join a band when I’m good. An all girl band,” you giggle. “That’d be cool.”

Steve hums and nods along with what you said. “Okay,” he mouths. “That’s cool. Good goal.”

You nod. “Yep. That is if I make it out.”

Steve meets your gaze. “You will, we all will,” he assures you. “Unless we suddenly get ambushed by those dogs.”

You frown in discontent and roll your eyes before you now press him. “It’s your turn. Go.”

Steve focuses on what he’s doing and ponders for a moment before he shares his goal. “Uh, graduate. I want to graduate.”

“Pft,” you blow out. “You are going to do that. It has to be something different.”

Steve finishes bandaging your hand and pats the back of it before letting it go. “I have shitty grades,” he mumbles at the ground. “I don’t know if I will. Might just disappoint my dad even more and have to repeat senior year.”

You frown a pity frown and tilt your head down to meet his upset gaze. “Tell you what,” you interject. “I will help you study and you can help me impress the guy I like.”

It will probably be weird since you do like him too, but you can’t just hold onto hope for him no matter how much you like him. You have to direct all your focus on Zion because he’s single and does like you. Or you hope so.

Regardless, Steve slowly lifts his eyes to meet yours while he lifts head, and you mirror his movement. “I have a study partner—but…” he sighs deeply and looks past your shoulder. “You know yeah, I think I can squeeze you in.”

You flash him a grin. “Good,” you say softly. “Will you help me? You are the love expert.” You tease him.

Steve scoffs in amusement while he rolls his eyes at your comment. “Yeah,” he gives in. “I'll help you too. But are you sure you’re, like, smart?”

You shoot him a pointed glare and mock him. “Are you sure you’re, like, smart?” You push him away and counter. “Duh, that’s why I’m offering my help.”

Steve chuckles lightly. “Got you.”

“Whatever,” you grumble and walk away to try and contact your dad. But no matter how much you try and try, nothing. There’s static and silence. So much for emergencies! You could probably be dead already!

You try again until you hear multiple gunshots that don’t come from your shotgun. Yet all you can do is wait now, there’s nothing you can do but that since you’re already worried.

Thankfully not so much time passes before headlights pop out from down the driveway, it’s Jonathan and Nancy! But they’re not alone, a bigger car follows behind them. When Jonathan and Nancy pass, the truck stops and you notice it’s a cop car.

“Let’s go!” The driver urges.

Since you were behind the group you can’t see who’s driving. You don’t see until the kids begin to climb in the truck.

“Holy shit,” you gasp with bewilderment. “Uncle Jim?!

Said man blinks repeatedly in confusion, he doesn’t seem to recognize you at first, not until you begin to approach the passenger side as Steve climbs in the back.

“Y/N?” Your uncle Jim muses and leans over.

You finally climb in the car and share a relieved but also nervous smile.

“What are you doing here?” Your uncle asks you.

You exhale with relief and then reply. “I’ll explain on the way. Let’s get out of here first.”

——

“Here.”

You turn around and see Nancy with your gun. After a lot of explaining to your uncle, after arriving to a house filled with a lot of colorful paper, after some introductions with Joyce Byers, and Nancy's brother, you finally find time to talk to her. Just like you wanted to do before.

“Thank you, I didn’t end up using it but still thanks.” She adds.

You take the gun and nod softly while you smile at her. “No problem.”

Nancy puts her hands in her pockets and looks at you with curisoty. “How are you holding up? All this…” she sighs. “Must be scary.”

You let out a breathless laugh and nod. “Yeah. Yeah. It’s fucking terrifying, I want to go home, but…I’m involved now. They need me so…fuck it, right?

Nancy laughs softly and nods.

“Are you okay?” You ask her.

Nancy blinks with surprise and takes a moment before nodding. “I’m fine. I think. It’s been a long week.”

You smile and nod. “Tell me about it. Is that hangover cured?” You tease her. “I tried talking to you after the party, but I never saw you or could actually get a hold of you.”

Nancy parts her lips, but remains speechless for a few seconds before she smiles softly at the floor. “It’s all cured. I’m sorry about that,” she groans and then meets your gaze. “I remember you helping me that night. Thank you for that. You didn’t have to, but you did. Thanks.”

You offer her an assuring smile, and let her continue.

“Uh, how about we make up that mall date we never got to? After this I think it’s overdue.”

Your smile begins to widen and you nod a bit too eagerly. “Yeah, yeah. That would be cool. It’d be nice to take my mind off everything.”

“Cool,” Nancy nods and begins to shuffle towards Jonathan talking to his unconscious brother on the couch. “We can agree on a date later.”

You nod in agreement and then turn around, and can’t help but grin happily. Finally!

“Hey, kid come call your dad for me,” your uncle Jim directs at you as he hangs the phone up.

You hurry to take the phone and quickly dial the house number. As it begins to ring you give your back to the kids as they begin to argue with your uncle.

“They didn’t believe you did they?” Dustin questions.

“We’ll see,” your uncle mutters.

“Come on answer,” you mumble the ringing phone. “Where the hell are you?”

“We’ll see,” Nancy's brother, Mike exclaims before he continues to yell at your uncle. You however don’t pay attention to them since you catch Steve staring at Nancy sadly, while she comforts Jonathan.

Did he catch something you don’t comprehend? They are just friends, no? Jonathan and Nancy.

Steve proceeds to turn around and sniffles, and before he can catch you staring you focus on the fact that your dad did not fucking answer.

“God—ugh,” you groan and then call again.

This time however, the phone gets snatched from your hand and your uncle pushes you out of the way.

“Hey!” You protest. “I'm calling him!”

Your uncle gives you his back, so you walk around him and wait with anticipation. But just like before, your fucking dad doesn’t answer.

“Look Rowan, it’s Jim. Your brother…we—your daughter needs your help, bring your guns, we need them all….” He follows by giving the curtain address before hanging up.

You try to question him but he just walks away.

“Rude,” you scoff.

Now what?

You wait, but for what? An army that didn’t even say they’d come, for a father that hasn’t answered the phone or walkie? For the monsters to attack?

You should go home now, go to sleep and wake up to just listen about the aftermath. But…no, you wait and let the silence slowly kill you. You can’t even talk to Steve, he…doesn’t seem like he wants to talk because besides the obvious exhaustion of today's events, there’s this solemn look he carries; he doesn’t try to talk to his girlfriend or comfort her. He stays away and lets her comfort Jonathan.

The same guy who took her home after the party…did they? Are they?

So many questions rise to mind but you don’t dare to ask any. Instead you lean back against the wall hoping the phone will ring, hoping your walkie will go off, but nothing.

“Did you guys know that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV?” Mike finally breaks the silence, but with a matter which doesn’t interest you, so you tune it out until Mike adds a daring comment. “We can’t let him die in vain.”

You slowly pick your eyes off the floor and look at Dustin as he exclaims.

“What do you want to do, Mike? The Chief’s right on this. We can’t stop those Demo-dogs on our own.”

Demo-dogs?

“Demo-dogs?” Max questions your exact same thought. Albeit she sounds a bit judgmental, you…think it’s pretty creative.

“Demogorgon dogs,” Dustin explains whilst he also explains with his hands. “Demo-dogs. It’s like a compound. It’s like a play on words—”

“Okay,” Max cuts him off.

You drop your head and snicker quietly.

“I mean, when it was just Dart, maybe,” Dustin continues to say.

“But there’s an army now,” Lucas adds for him.

Dustin nods. “Precisely.”

“His army,” Mike mutters, causing you to slowly lift your head as you grow confused and intrigued.

“What do you mean?” You probe.

“His army,” Mike repeats louder. “Maybe if we stop him, we can stop his army, too.”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, but before you can ask what he really means, Mike runs off. Lucas, Dustin and Max follow him, so Steve and you share a knowing look before you both follow them to a child’s room filled with the same posters.

“The shadow monster,” Dustin names the scary spider-like monster terrorizing over some drawn out woods.

It’s just a drawing but it doesn’t fail to cause you to grow scared.

“It got Will that day on the field,” Mike explains. “The doctor said it was like a virus, it infected him.”

You blink in disbelief while you take the drawing from Dustin to study it better.

“And so this virus,” Max says. “It’s connecting him to the tunnels?”

“To the tunnels, monsters, the Upside Down, everything,” Mike says rapidly.

“Whoa,” Steve cuts in. “Slow down. Slow down.”

You hand the drawing to Steve and pay closer attention to what this kid says.

“Okay, so, the shadow monsters inside everything. And if the vines feel something like pain, then so does Will.”

“And so does Dart,” Lucas says after Mike..

Mike nods. “Yeah. Like what Mr Clarke taught us. The hive mind.”

You’ve heard of that behavior. It’s an interesting behavior.

“Hive mind?” Steve questions.

You nod and look at him. “It’s a collective consciousness. It’s a super-organism,” you explain to him excitedly. “It’s seen in bees, ants, and birds. Of course none to that level where they share the same pain, but think of it like that. Just in a bigger scale!”

Steve doesn’t seem to understand, but Mike cuts in before you can explain it in simpler terms. “And this is the thing that controls everything. It’s the brain. Like the mind flayer.”

Lucas snaps his fingers, and you actually don’t understand that connection, so just like Steve and Max, you also utter the same word. “What?”

But once again they don’t explain it right away, they grab some game manual and then gather everyone around the table, except for the boy Will and his mother. Once everyone else is gathered though, Dustin begins to explain what was brought up.

“The Mind Flayer.”

“What the hell is that?” Your uncle questions.

“It’s a monster from an unknown dimension,” Dustin explains. “It’s so ancient that it doesn’t even know it’s true home. Okay, it enslaves races of other dimensions by taking over their brains using its highly-developed psionic powers.”

Not like a bee.

“Oh my god,” your uncle snaps. “None of this is real. This is a kids game.”

“No, it’s a manual,” Dustin quickly rebuttals. “And it’s not for kids. And unless you know something we don’t, this is the best metaphor—”

“Analogy,” Lucas corrects him, making you slowly look at him in annoyance.

“Analogy?” Dustin quips. “That’s what you’re worried about? Fine! An analogy for understanding whatever the hell this is,” Dustin shouts, making you back away from him.

“Okay,” Nancy interjects, “so this mind flamer thing—”

“Flayer,” Dustin corrects her. “Mind Flayer.”

Nancy sighs and then asks her question. “What does it want?”

“To conquer us, basically,” Dustin explains. “It believes it’s the master race.”

“Like the Germans?” Steve adds quite confidently.

He should’ve sticked to just listening.

“Uh, the Nazis?” Dustin asks.

Steve catches the judgment and just nods. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis.”

Oh god he’s going to need a lot of help.

“Uh,” Dustin says. “If the Nazis were from another dimension, totally. Uh, it views other races, like us, as inferior to itself.”

“It wants to spread, take over other dimensions,” Mike now adds to the explanation. Which helps somewhat understand what they’re trying to get at.

“We are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it,” Lucas cuts in.

You sigh and feel your fear heighten.

“That’s great. That’s great,” Steve comments nervously. “That’s really great. Jesus!”

You swallow thickly and try to probe for more. “Okay, so if this thing is like a brain that’s controlling everything.” You approach the table and take the book to study the description. “Then if we kill it…theoretically, we kill everything it controls.”

“We win,” Dustin agrees.

You glance at him. “Theoretically?” You ask.

“Yes of course,” Lucas agrees.

You hum and watch your uncle take the book from you as he now also interjects. “Great. So how do you kill this thing? Shoot it with fireballs or something?”

Dustin chuckles and shakes his head. “No. No, no fire—no fireballs. Uh, you summon an undead army. Uh, because…because zombies, you know, they don’t have brains, and the mind Flayer, it…it…it likes brains…”

Oh.

“…it’s just a game. It’s a game.”

You sigh and rub the bridge of your nose.

“What the hell are we doing here?” Your uncle complains and throws the book down.

“I thought we were waiting for your military backup,” Dustin snaps.

“We are!”

“Even if they come how are they gonna stop this?” Mike also argues with even more anger.

Why is he so angry?

“You can’t just shoot this with guns.”

Hey, you did.

“You don’t know that!” Your uncle yells back. “We don’t know anything!”

You would say you killed one with a gun but you’re scared to get yelled at, so you just keep your mouth shut.

“We know it’s already killed everybody in that lab,” Mike adds.

“And we know the monsters are gonna molt again,” Lucas reminds the group.

“And we know that it’s only a matter of time before those tunnels reach this town,” Dustin adds to the argument.

“They’re right,” a new voice interjects, pulling your gaze to the kitchen entrance and spotting Joyce—“we have to kill it.” She nods. “I want to kill it.”

Your uncle breaks away from his spot and walks to her. “Me too, Joyce, okay?” He says. “But how do we do that? We don’t exactly know what we’re dealing with here.”

“No,” Mike cuts in. “But he does,” he refers to Will while he walks out of the kitchen. “If anyone knows how to destroy this thing, it’s Will. He’s connected to it. He'll know it’s weakness.”

Isn’t he the one that alerts the demo-dogs where he is?

“I thought we couldn’t trust him anymore,” Max says your thought outloud. That he’s a spy for the mind flayer now.”

“Yeah,” Mike agrees. “But he can’t spy if he doesn’t know where he is.”

And just like that everyone spreads out to find ways to cover the shed in the backyard. You help them to keep your mind off everything, to not just sit and wait for your dad to respond back. To not think of your fear mostly.

And it works for a while, whilst you help everyone cover the inside of the shed your mind gets distracted. But that doesn’t last long because once the inside of the shed is covered, Jonathan, his mother, Mike and your uncle interrogate Will. It seems a lot of today has been spent mostly just waiting for something to happen, for the Demo-dogs to take the bait, for Nancy and Jonathan to go to the lab in search of their family, wait for the army people to answer, wait for your own father, and even now you wait for answers.

Waiting should be boring, but it’s just stressful. Tension weighs your shoulders down. It probably ages you ten years too.

If you were home, living ignorantly—or just vicariously through your dad, you’d be out with Zion right now. At least that’s what you agreed to…He probably hates you now. You left him a voicemail since no one picked up at his house, but he still probably hates you for flaking. You’d hate yourself.

After today albeit, you wish you can live ignorantly. Pretend nothing happened and just go out on that date and not have to worry if you’ll get eaten. You even…and this is a pain to say…but you would even be down to watch one of your mothers movies. And that’s not said lightly.

Nevertheless, throughout all that thinking as you wait in the tense silence, you do end up nodding off on the couch. It felt like eternity, but you only wake up 30 minutes later because the house phone rings.

Albeit, Dustin quickly hangs it up.

“Oh it isn’t a dream,” you grumble as you rub your eyes. “Is it the army?” You ask groggily.

Everyone’s tense?

“What’s—” you get cut off by the sound of the phone ringing again.

This time as Dustin is going to hang it up Nancy yanks it off the wall and throws it to the ground.

“Do you think he heard that?” Max asks.

Oh right! That. Will can’t know, right, right.

You get off the couch and approach the kitchen.

“It’s just a phone,” Steve comments. “It could be anywhere. Right?”

You swallow thickly and at that moment catch a paper with dashes, dots and the word “Close gate” on it.

“Is that the solution?” You ask and turn the paper to stare at it.

“We hope,” Nancy says.

You sigh and then glance at the door out of fear. There’s a possibility that Will wouldn’t figure it out, but considering this is his house, he’s in his own shed, he probably has some idea of where he is. He just needed a last hint.

And of course the phone ringing was his push to figure it all out because not so long later growls echo in the distance.

“Shit,” you mumble and face the front window. “That’s not good.” You maneuver past the kids watching the window and pick your gun off the floor.

Jonathan, Joyce, Mike then rush inside with a now unconscious Will. And while joyce lays Will down somewhere your uncle marches inside soon after that.

“Hey, hey, get away from the windows!” He orders.

You cock your shotgun and stand guard in front of the window.

“Do you know how to use this?” Your uncle directs at Jonathan.

“What?” He asks.

You peer back and notice his confusion.

“Can you use this?!”

“I can,” Nancy steps up, making you smirk.

“To being stupid teenagers?” Steve whispers to you as he falls beside you.

You slowly look over at him and nod stiffly. “To being stupid teenagers,” you repeat.

Steve sighs and then looks ahead, you follow his line of gaze and point your gun out at the window. The demo-dogs sound closer now, you can hear them rustling, screeching louder.

“Where are they?” Max asks impatiently.

You clench your jaw and exhale shakily. The monsters growl, and you can’t help but tighten your grip around your gun.

A loud thud then hits something outside, making you and everyone else turn to face it and be ready. Yet none of them show up at the window or try to take the door down. They just seem to stay outside.

“What are they doing?” Nancy asks shakily.

Leaves rustles as they pass, but still nothing.

“Are they messing with us?” You question their tactics.

Before anyone can answer though, a snarl sounds outside the window, causing you all to turn again. But still nothing, one actually seems to screech in pain, and more make the same noises, but then out of nowhere one hurls through the window.

You yell along with everyone else and point your gun at it to get ready to shoot, but it doesn’t move! It’s…dead.

“Holy…shit,” Dustin muses.

Your uncle slowly approaches the dead demo-dog, and you slowly lower your gun.

“Is It dead?” Max asks.

You nod slowly. “Seems so.”

When your uncle Jim reaches the demo-dog he moves it with his foot, and it continues not to react. However, wood then creaks from the outside.

The monsters don’t make a sound anymore, so what is it?

The lock then turns and your heart begins to pound harder.

They can’t do that can they? What the fuck!

The chain lock gets pulled off like something from a horror movie, and the doorknob slowly turns before the door begins to open.

However, when the door gets pushed open, it isn’t some demo-dog standing outside menacingly. It’s a girl with gelled back hair and a bleeding nose. Everyone seems to be unthreatened by her, so you lower your gun and lean towards Steve. “Who is that?” You ask.

Steve leans over and responds quietly. “Eleven, the girl Dustin told you about….”

The girl your dad is looking for. Holy shit. The girl that can lift shit with her fucking mind!

“Eleven,” Mike mumbles as they close the gap left between each other with a hug.

“Mike,” Eleven gasps.

You brush your hand over your walkie and step back.

She’s the one who can end this all? The one that started it…or at least that’s what Dustin said.

Hm. Interesting.

Now since you don’t know her and she doesn’t know you, you walk to the kitchen as they reunite with her, as your uncle talks to Mike privately.

Your dad said he wanted to end this. All of this terror that haunts this town. You haven’t seen a fraction of what the others have, but from what you’ve lived through today that’s enough terror for you. Enough terror for them. So if she’s the part that’s needed to ending it…shouldn’t you help your dad?

End it and you also get to finally settle down and live.

Besides, even after all that’s happened, this little town is a good place. You already have friends, a home, you don’t need to go back to Washington DC, you can stay here. And the only way is to get rid of all of it. Your dad can’t do that if he doesn’t know where she is though.

However, before that can happen you need to know something else, so you wait. And as predicted Joyce brings her to the kitchen to speak about the answer Will gave.

“You opened this gate before, right?” Joyce asks Eleven.

“Yes,” Eleven mutters.

You fold your arms over the table and watch her cautiously.

“Do you think if we got you back there, that you could close it?” Joyce continues to question her.

Eleven glances at her and then looks ahead, she agrees quietly, but this time your uncle argues against her. “It’s not like it was before, it’s grown. A lot. And I mean, that’s considering we can get in there. That place is crawling with those dogs. ”

He’s protecting her…

This may be a problem.

“Demo-dogs,” Dustin corrects him.

Your uncle sighs. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, uh, Demo-dogs? Like Demogorgan and dogs.”

He’s at it again.

“Like, you put them together, it sound pretty badass—”

“How is this important right now?” Your uncle cuts him off.

Dustin looks away and retorts. “It’s not. I’m sorry.”

You sit up and look back at your uncle. “I can help. I killed one with my shotgun,” you let him know with a smirk.

Your uncle shoots you a pointed look and shakes his head.

“It’s true, Uncle Jim” you exclaim. “I killed one!”

“Uncle?” You hear the girl, Eleven, question your comment.

“No,” he spats. “You’re not helping. Your dad hates me enough. I’m not putting you in harm's way.”

“I can do it,” Eleven then cuts in, turning your attention back to her.

“You’re not hearing me.”

Eleven nods. “I’m hearing you. I can do it.”

“Even if El can, there’s still a problem,” Mike interjects. “If the brain dies, the body dies.”

You blink in confusion and question that. “I thought that was the whole point?”

“It is,” Mike agrees. “But if we’re really right about this…I mean, if El closes the gate and kills the mind flayers army…”

“Will’s a part of that army,” Lucas finishes for Mike.

“Closing the gate will kill him.”

You look down and share something that’s been itching your brain. “Not exactly. You said it was a virus. It’s not a part of him. He’s just like a…voice, that’s putting it simple. A puppet. Right? You just have to cut its string. Or in this case make the host inhabitable.”

All eyes fall on you, no one adds anything as they all think, Joyce gasps though out of a sudden and then walks away. Before you can follow Steve puts his hand out.

“Nice,” he compliments you.

You high five him and shoot him a smile. “Thanks. That’s what homeschooling gets you.” You get off your chair and follow him after the others.

“Whatever.”

“He likes it cold,” you hear Joyce mutter inside the room.

“What?” Your uncle asks.

“It’s what Will kept saying to me. He likes it cold.”

You peek inside and watch Joyce close the window. “We keep giving it what it wants,” she says.

“It’s just like y/n said,” Nancy interjects. “We have to make the host uninhabitable. So if he likes it cold…”

“We need to burn it out of him,” Joyce adds.

“We have to do it somewhere he doesn’t know this time,” Mike shares his thoughts.

Dustin nods, “yeah, somewhere far away.”

And just like that your uncle suggests his cabin, or his grandfather's cabin. All things get set in motion now, Jonathan and his mother will take Will, your uncle will take Eleven, and you will lead your father to her.

So while Steve and Nancy search for heaters out in the junk thrown out from the shed, and while the kids fare Eleven good luck, you go to the bathroom and try your dad one more time.

“Dad,” you let the button go and wait. You watch it as if that would do anything.

And this time rather than static and nothing, your dads voice responds. “Y/N? Baby, where have you been?”

You sigh with relief and quickly respond, but not in English, you can’t risk letting anyone hear, so you speak to him in Mandarin. “<I will explain it all later, swear. That girl you’re looking for, the anomaly. She’s going to the lab with uncle Jim. Now. You promised we’d find a home after right? Well this is your chance. I want to stay here.>” You let go of the button and wait.

Your dad takes a moment but he then makes sure you hear him sigh before he responds. “<I have so many questions, but I’ll get those later. Thank you.>”

You smile softly and then quickly make sure to add a short warning. “<Before you leave just know that when you get there monsters are going to be there. You have to wait until the girl closes a gate inside the lab, okay? That’s how we get rid of them. Make sure to wait until after that gate is closed! Understand?>”

Once again your dad sighs, but he doesn’t question you. “<Fine. I understand. Go home. Don’t wait up. Just know when you wake up breakfast will be ready.>”

You laugh softly and nod even if he can’t see, even if you don’t plan to go home yet. You just don’t want to argue with him. “<Be careful.>”

“<I will. I love you, baby.>”

Before every mission he never failed to say that. And everytime he said it genuinely and with no struggle.

It’s you who felt embarrassed.

“I love you,” he repeats with amusement. “Copy?”

“Copy,” you giggle.

“Say it.”

You roll your eyes. “I…love you,” you say back. “Be careful.”

“I will. Over and out.”

You sigh. “Over and out.”

Yeah, you’re going to the lab too. He hasn’t faced those monsters, you have, he’ll need your help. But your uncle will never let you ride with him, so you’ll wait. Act normal.

You walk out of the bathroom and catch the man you were just thinking of. He seemed to be walking out, but when he catches you walking to the living room he turns and stops at the end of the hall.

“You,” he points at you. “You stay here. Got it? Stay out of trouble. If your dad decides to answer, tell him where I am. Or to pick you up. Understand?”

You nod in agreement. “Yep. Be careful.”

Your uncle nods stiffly and walks out. When he’s out the door you sit on the couch and watch the window until both cars can’t be seen anymore. You continue to wait though, Mrs Byers car is outside so you’ll use that to get there. You just can’t catch up to your uncle so you'll wait a few minutes.

After a few moments pass of everyone doing their own thing, the silence finally breaks. “Mike, would you just stop already?” You hear Lucas complain.

Said boy stops pacing and faces his friend. “You weren’t in there, okay, Lucas?” Mike rebuttals. “That lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.”

“Demo-dogs,” you mouth. And just as you predicted, Dustin corrects him like he corrects everyone else who hasn’t said it.

“Demo-dogs!”

“The Chief will take care of her,” Lucas tries to assure Mike.

“Like she needs protection,” Max comments.

“Plus,” you add so later you won’t sound suspicious. “My dad is going to help. I managed to get ahold of him.”

Mike drags his gaze to you and counters sassily. “And what does your dad do?”

You smirk. “He was a CIA agent. He’s skilled enough.”

Mike rolls his eyes like if he doesn’t believe you, but doesn’t say anything, letting Steve cut in.

“Listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it. All right?”

You snort at his comment before you pick at it. “First of all, this isn’t a sports game, and second we’re not even in the game. We’re on the bench man.”

Steve holds your gaze and nods slowly before he begins to stammer. “Right, so my point is—”

You lean forward from where you sit and quirk your brow.

“Right,” Steve agrees. “Yeah, we’re on the bench, so, uh, there’s nothing we can do.” He puts a towel cloth over his shoulder and sighs in defeat.

However, Dustin interjects now. “That’s not entirely true. I mean, these Demo-dogs, they have a hive-mind. When they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

“So if we get their attention,” Lucas cuts in, and Max follows by adding to the plan.

“Maybe we can draw them from the lab.”

“And clear a path to the gate,” Mike says.

“Yeah,” Steve cuts in. “And then we all die.”

“That’s one point of view,” you counter.

Steve shoots you a pointed glare and shakes his head. “No that’s not a point of view. That’s a fact. Weren’t you just scared of them?”

You nod but shrug him off instead.

“I got it!” Mike exclaims and walks past Dustin and Steve, you get off the couch and follow him along with the others—”this is where the chief dug his hole,” Mike points to a spot on one of the colorful papers. “This is our way into the tunnel. So…” he trails off and walks to another spot.

“Here,” he points out. “Right here. This is like a hub. So you get all the tunnels feeding in here.” He crouches and continues to explain. “Maybe if we set this on fire…”

“Oh, no yeah? That’s a no.” The kids ignore Steve though.

“The mind flayer would call away his army,” Dustin shares his theory.

“They’d all come to stop us,” Lucas adds.

“Then we circle back to the exit,” Mike continues. “By the time they realize we’re gone—”

“El would be at the gate,” Max says excitedly.

“Hey,” Steve exclaims, finally catching everyone’s attention. “Hey! Hey! This is not happening.”

“But—”

“No, no, no buts,” he interrupts Mike. “I promised I’d keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what I plan on doing. We’re staying here. On the bench. And we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. Does everyone understand that?”

You nod. You’re the only one who does.

“This isn’t a stupid sports game,” Mike argues with annoyance.

“I said, does everybody understand that?” Steve presses. “I need a yes.”

Before anyone can answer though, an engine revs outside, stealing everyone’s attention to the window. But only Max and Lucas run over to get a better view through the wicked

“It’s my brother,” Max announces, piquing your curiosity. “He can’t know I’m here. He’ll kill me. He’ll kill us.”

You take a step forward and probe. “Who’s your brother?”

Max looks back at you with worry. “Billy Hargrove.”

Oh, that guy?

“Stay here,” Steve orders suddenly before he walks out of the house before anyone can argue.

You join the kids by the window and watch Billy climb out of his car and meet Steve half way. And since you can’t hear the interaction since they’re speaking too low to hear them clearly, you watch them confront each other.

They remain calm for a moment. Only for a moment before Billy points at all of you in the window.

“Fuck,” you mumble and slide down along with the kids.

“Shit, did he see us?” Dustin asks panicked.

You nod. “Yeah, he saw us.” You get up and point your head to the kitchen. “Go.”

The kids run after you, but the door then gets slammed opened as Billy storms in.

“Well, well, well,” he greets everyone and slams the door shut.

Where’s Steve?

“Lucas Sinclair,” Billy just names him and ignores his sister and the rest of you. “What a surprise.” As he approaches him he glares at his sister. “I thought I told you to stay away from him, Max.”

“Billy, go away,” she mutters.

“You disobeyed me,” Billy says quietly. “And you know what happens when you disobey me.”

“Billy…”

“I break things,” he says and then suddenly grabs Lucas by the collar and drags him away to slam him against a cabinet in the kitchen.

“Hey!” You exclaim and chase after him without helping Steve. “Stop! Leave him alone!”

“Billy stop! Billy!” Max yells out.

“Get off of me, you—”

“Since Maxine won’t listen to me, maybe you will.” Billy sneers at the boy. “You stay away from her. Stay away from her! You hear me?”

You have enough and manage to shove Billy to the wall beside him. “Leave the boy alone, asshole.”

Billy stares at you with surprise at first, letting you pull Lucas behind you so he can sneak away back to his friends.

“It’s you,” Billy chuckles.

You scoff smugly. “It’s me.”

Billy proceeds to push you, making Max react.

“Leave her alone Billy.”

You however, don’t let him push you around, you close your hand to a fist and then without warning hit him with an upper cut.

Billy groans and stumbles back since you catch him off guard. You don’t stop there though, you see his threatening stance, you saw him with Lucas, and predict what he did to Steve, so you throw a right hook too.

“Nice,” you hear Dustin say.

You proceed to knee Billy in the balls. “Don’t touch me,” you warn him. “Or them ever again.”

Billy groans and holds his crotch, but rather than writhing in his pain, he begins to laugh, making you step back and watch him in confusion

“You’re so dead, bitch.” He hisses.

You swallow thickly out of fear, but stand your ground.

Albeit, Steve then pushes you away and takes your place in front of Billy. “No,” Steve says. “You are.” And before anything else can be said or done, Steve throws Billy a strong right hook that makes him stumble.

Steve then grabs Billy by the collar and turns him to throw him back against the table. And like before Billy begins to laugh.

“Steve,” you try to warn him.

Said man meets your gaze and points his eyes to the side, letting you understand that he wants you to get out of the way.

“Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh?” Billy laughs. “I’ve been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody’s been telling me so much about!”

“Get out,” Steve warns Billy as he pushes him back.

Nevertheless, Billy throws a punch. Steve luckily ducks it and also throws a punch that lands on Billys face.

“Yes! Kick his ass, Steve!” Dustin exclaims with excitement.

There’s no point yelling. Its either get beat up, or beat him up. You don’t want Steve to lose, so you let him fight Billy.

“Murder that son of a bitch!” Dustin shouts as Steve hits Billy again and again, and again until Billy is against the sink laughing like a maniac.

“Get that shithead!” Mike yells too.

“Kill the son of a bitch!” Dustin cheers Steve on. But as he does Billy slams a plate against Steve’s head.

“Steve!” You cry out and try to approach him, but Steve puts his hand out to stop you.

You don’t listen and meet him halfway as he stumbles away from Billy. Steve grabs your arms as you secure your hold around him.

However, you miss Billy storming over and don’t catch him until he kicks Steve out of your arms.

“Hey!” You bellow and try to shove him back, but this time he’s more aware of you. Before you can touch him he swings his hand back and slaps you harshly with the back of his hand.

“Fuck,” you hiss and hold a part of your face that begins to sting.

“Y/N,” Lucas calls out and approaches you with the other kids in tow.

You shake your head and face them to assure them. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” You nod and then drift your attention to the men, catching how Billy picks Steve up by the collar.

“No one tells me what to do!” Billy spats and then slams his head against Steve, making him fall back. “Whoo!”

“Stop!” You cry out. “You’re gonna kill him! Leave him alone, you made your point!”

Billy climbs over Steve and begins to punch him repeatdly. Your mind threatens to keep you there, but you snap out of your stupor and run to grab your gun from the corner of the wall you kept it against.

You don’t plan to shoot Billy, you just need to scare him by shooting beside him or something.

Nevertheless, just as you face Billy, Max beats you to it and stabs a needle in the side of his neck, causing him to finally stop hitting your friend, and shut the boys up.

Billy follows by getting up though to face his sister with disbelief, letting you drop your gun and fall on your knees by Steve.

“Oh god,” you mumble shakily as you see the blood all over his face. “It’s okay, you’ll be okay.” You press your ear against his lips and hear him breathing. He’s just unconscious. “You’ll be okay.” You whisper to his unconscious body.

A body thumps against the floor, so you look over, and catch Billy falling unconscious himself. He makes sure to laugh first though.

Creep.

Max picks up Steve’s nail bat and lifts it up to warn Billy. “From here on out, you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?”

“Screw you,” Billy mutters, making Max swing the bat down between his legs.

“Say you understand!” Max yells back angrily. “Say it! Say it!”

You look over at Billy and see him lick his lips before responding. “I understand,” Billy whispers.

“What?” Max asks.

“I understand,” Billy repeats before falling unconscious.

Max doesn’t wait to drop the bat and take the keys out of her brother's pocket. “Let’s get out of here,” she tells the boys.

About that.

It’s later than you wanted, but its okay.

“I’m going to Hawkins lab,” you let the kids know as you get up and walk to the kitchen to get a cloth to clean Steve’s face. “I’m using Mrs Byers car and meeting my dad there.”

“What?” Dustin asks as he follows after you while you get other things to clean Steve’s cuts. “But—”

“My dad doesn’t know about these things, not enough anyway. He…he’s going to help my uncle,” you lie. “But he’s going to get caught up in the mess, I need to help him. He’s the only family I have, I can’t let him die.”

Dustin parts his lips to argue, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Good,” you say and peer over your shoulder. “You guys need a ride first?”

“No!” Max exclaims. “I got it! You go, help your dad.”

You turn and face her as she also follows after you. “You drive?”

Max hesitates but then nods. “Yeah, my mom taught me.”

She’s too young for that, but you only have your dad, he’s what matters most in this world, so you take her word.

So now after you clean and bandage all of Steve’s cuts, after you wipe all the blood off his face, you get in Mrs Byers car and head to Hawkins lab. Your dad might not even need you for what he needs to do, but you were serious. He’s all you have. Your mother is a deadbeat, so you can’t lose your dad, you love him too much to lose him. So you go to him even with your fear of these Demo-dogs, even if it might mean having to harm that girl.

But if she’s the means to an end then…is it not worth it?

Tagged- @middle-of-the-earth @x-theolivia @redskull199987 @lilyhw1

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the-quotable-alberta-hansard · 4 months

Text

November 29, 2023

Member Kayande: I’m pleased to join the debate here on Bill 6, the Public Health Amendment Act, 2023. I want to tell a personal story about how this pandemic has impacted my family, and I want to talk a little bit about my reliance on public health to work so that I can keep my family safe. The pandemic, as all members of this House are, I’m sure, one hundred per cent aware, is like a tornado. It left some houses completely untouched and completely flattened others. By no means was my household the worst impacted, but this is a fact that continues to impact what’s going on in my family today.

My daughter is an extremely, extremely high-performing teenager. In 2020, when the pandemic opened, she received an award in her junior high school for student of the year... And in 2020 is when I came home from a company ski trip and felt the sniffles. This was in early March. By late March the entire household was ill except for my youngest son, who was 10 years old at the time. We got better eventually – it took us a long time – but she did not. It took us about six months more to get a diagnosis of long COVID for her. You know, one of the hurtful things about a long-COVID diagnosis is that there are people who falsely believe that long COVID is a function of vaccine injury. I guess that my child is kind of in a – being possibly one of the longest long-COVID pediatric patients in the world right now, she could not possibly have been injured by vaccines because vaccines were not available when she got sick.

The impact of this disease on her has been absolutely devastating. You know, she has extreme brain fog, fatigue, does her best, remains high performing, but is now a grade 12 student who will not graduate this year, may graduate next year, has a dream of becoming an engineer, and I don’t know how that’s going to happen because it is not possible for her to attend school with any sort of regularity...

I want to be one of those people that take care of her. I am responsible for her getting sick because I was the one that brought the disease home into our household. And what I want from public health, like, what I need from public health is more than what maybe other families need. I need to know –because she cannot get COVID again. She can’t. So I have to keep her safe; that is my job. I did not keep her safe in 2020, and my job is now to keep her safe as best as I can, and to do that I need information. I need to know expert opinion. I need to know what the experts are saying at any point in time even though the world desires to move on from the pandemic.

Good Lord, I want to move on, too, more than anything else. I want to move on and have this not be an issue in my life anymore, and I need the help of public health and public health experts to make that happen. I need to know: how much COVID is in the environment right now? How many other respiratory diseases are in the city right now? What does the status of absenteeism in her school look like right now? Those are what allow us to make decisions to keep me and my family safe.

So when I think about, you know, Bill 6, the Public Health Amendment Act, and what it’s going to do to reduce the ability of public health officials to communicate the critically important information that I need, Mr. Speaker, I’m worried, and I’m scared for myself. I’m here, you know, as a legislator, in a position of incredible privilege, but I also want to make sure that families like me get what they need from the public health infrastructure, the enviable public health infrastructure that we have built in this province. I’m begging this House: please don’t take that away.

#lengthy but i still wanted to include it #alberta #alberta politics #ableg #Samir Kayande #Calgary-Elbow #NDP #cdnpoli

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unwelcome-ozian · 9 months

Note

Hi oz, thanks for your answer to my question about dissociating a lot and feeling stuck. Your reminder that younger parts coming forward is also progress and the advice on how to deal with the exhaustion of these experiences helped me orientate in the mess of it all. You offered to share some more information and advice on how to build a window of tolerance for dissociation. I’d be very grateful if you could do that!

I do think that without knowing I already started working on this, trying to confront my feelings when my day suddenly is disrupted by dissociation and feelings of emptiness. I try to think about what might’ve started the feeling and if possible ask other parts if they’re hiding behind it and if there’s something they need to say. Sometimes it’s possible for me to talk out loud and get into a dialogue with myself and other parts about how we feel and what the dissociation is trying to suppress.

What I’ve learned from that so far is that I as a host spend a lot of time by myself at home, while other parts usually take care of social interaction. This makes me feel intensely lonely at times, which in return triggers the memories of being a child/teenager having to hide in my room and pretend I don’t exist in order to avoid being abused by my parent. I realised that even though there’s no danger of being abused anymore, my brain subconsciously thinks we’re in the same situation again and that there’s danger lurking around the corner so we have to hide in our room and dissociate from the stress and fear that came with living with an abusive parent.

I’m sharing these revelations in case that might help with knowing what type of info I need on working on the window of tolerance. If it’s more universal advice it’s obviously not so important.

Thank you either way for the support and help! I’ve been wanting to look into the ways you provided in which we can support you in return. Your advice and work is definitely worth more than only written appreciation! I hope you’re doing as well as possible.

Brains are amazing. Their one task is to keep us alive. The brain will do what it thinks is best to do that. Even if we are currently safe and can logically say we are in a safe place right now. The brain will consistently scan and send the message at the slightest hint of danger that, “No, indeed good person we are not safe. As when we were 5 this thing occurred and it must never occur again even though we are 25.”

With DID multiply that response by each parts experience of abuse.

In short your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. You’re not flawed.

The Window of Tolerance is the zone of arousal in which we are able to function most effectively. In contrast, when we are hyperaroused, we feel excessive activation or energy, often in the form of anxiety, panic, fear, hypervigilence, and emotional flooding. When we are hypoaroused we are shut down or dissociated from our feelings.

There are specific things you can do to apply the methods used and not continue to overwhelm yourself, system, and to let your brain know things are safe.

For example, asking a friend to go for coffee. You choose the time (an hour let’s say), you choose the place, and where you will sit. (facing the door). Start as simple as you would like but with discomfort you can manage and something you will be successful at.

Another thing to continue to increase communication with the others inside and working together. So if there is a social situation you could work on fronting for a bit of time.

Slow progress is still progress.

Here are a couple of links about the Window of Tolerance to help. LINK Work Sheet Information

You’re most welcome. Thank you for considering ways you can support us.

Take care,

#answers to questions #window of tolerance

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floralcyanide · 2 years

Text

Jerry Schilling Dad Headcanons

as requested here!

>> eeeee this was so fun to do!! @austin-butlers-gf and I were talking about Jerry as a dad and we were like “yeah he’s a girl dad” so this is primarily based on Jerry and you having a daughter. Elvis, Steve, and Austin (maybe more idk yet) are coming soon 😎 also I can't believe I've posted so much this week tbh it's been a while since I've posted so much, I'm happy with everything I've put out!!

masterlist || add yourself to the taglist HERE!

❁ Jerry is such a girl dad, he gives off those vibes to me

❁ when it’s time to find out the gender of the baby, he cries when you’re told it’s a girl

❁ he is constantly talking to your belly whenever he possibly can

❁ Jerry throws the most spectacular baby shower and invites everyone. literally everyone. and even Elvis makes an appearance.

❁ when your daughter is ready to arrive, Jerry helps deliver her

❁ Jerry is an emotional mess when your daughter is born, and you’ve never seen him so happy before, not even on your wedding day, but it comes pretty close.

❁ your daughter has Jerry’s eyes and nose, and it looks like he spit her out himself

❁ okay but he loves dressing her up in cute outfits. you swear he enjoys having a daughter more than you do.

❁ when your daughter becomes a toddler, he’s the most patient guy in the world

❁ surprisingly, your daughter grows into kindergarten age without any issues. she’s relatively tame and only says what she deems important, just like Jerry

❁ your daughter and Lisa-Marie are roughly the same age, so they spend a lot of time together growing up

❁ he totally lets them put makeup on him, mess with his hair, and for sure lets them paint his nails when Lisa-Marie comes over to stay the night

❁ when your daughter gets older and becomes a teenager, Jerry becomes even more protective

❁ he knows his limits though, and knows when to back off and give her space

❁ when she brings a boy home for the first time, Jerry tries not to freak out or seem nervous, but he doesn’t want his little girl to grow up

❁ when your daughter goes off to college, Jerry is just as emotional as the day she was born

❁ when your daughter brings the guy she thinks she’s gonna marry home to meet the family, Jerry is hesitant to shake his hand at first

❁ Jerry doesn’t wanna accept the fact she’s a grown woman now and could possibly be having a family of her own soon

❁ please don’t get me started on grandpa Jerry because it’s a whole other world with his grandbabies

❁ Jerry is just as emotional walking your daughter down the aisle as he was the day she was born

❁ he makes a big speech at the wedding, talking about fond memories and about how much he loves his little girl, who isn’t so little anymore

taglist: @cozacorner @onxlymnsn @anangelwhodidntfall @butlersluvbot @jolovesfandoms @austinbutler17 @slutforblueeyes @misspygmypie @mamaspresley @mirandastuckinthe80s @bobbykennedyfan @sodonebruh @lizzymizzy-blogg @defnotreadingfanfics12 @izzvoid @homebodybirkin2003 @thatonemoviefan @sarachacha @kittenlittle24 @alltheflowerstomav @tubble-wubble @kaycinema @annamarie16 @adoreyouusugar @apparently-sunshine-deactivated @amiets2 @mrs-butler @mesbouquins @ari-nicole @austin-butlers-gf @feral4austinbutler @inlovewithchrisevans @shynovelist @mommy-maia @karamelcoveredolicity @thtguyovrthere @starry-night-20 @coldonexx @hangmanswhorey @shelbysbitchh @mavericksicybabe @coco-bitch @bobthefishiesworld @emmymaehereeeeee @myguiltypleasures21 @rainydayz101 @finelineskies @cryingabtab @kaitaesupremacy @specialk6802 @ash-omalley

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thehauntedair · 8 months

Text

Day 16: Release

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, Dorian, how was your week?”

“It was… good, actually. Zachary and I had a date this weekend, I’ve been getting close to a lot of my book club friends lately. It was good. Yes.”

“You sound a bit unsure”

“Well, it’s just…”

“Come on, I know that face. The nightmares again?”

“…yes. Unfortunately.”

“I presume you still don’t want to talk about them?”

“I… well. You say that like. I don’t know. Like I should want to talk about them. I just don’t. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Dorian, we can talk about whatever you like. I’m not judging you. You won’t tell me about them until you’re good and ready, and that’s your prerogative.”

“Thank you. Good.”

“So how are these book club friends of yours?”

“They’re good. They’re really good, actually. Very nice. I enjoy discussing books with them. We’re in the midst of The Count of Monte Cristo, and some of them have such incredible insights.”

“Oh, really? And the ones you’ve gotten close to?”

“Ah yes, they’re incredible. There’s this one girl who is almost alarmingly cheery even when she’s talking about the most miserable things in a way that reminds me a lot of my sister, actually.”

“I don’t think you’ve mentioned your sister before.”

“Yes she. Died. When I was very young.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Well you know, I was a teenager when it happened, and it’s honestly not the worst… I mean I do miss her, often. We were both young and all each other had and she did her best for me. Made sure I became incredibly enamored with books at a very young age, for one. And the way she told stories… Zachary tells me all the time about my storytelling voice, and the way I move while I tell them, and all of these things, and every time all I can think about is her. She taught me all of that. She was so dramatic with her stories, entertaining us both, I think. Sorry, I’ve been rambling.”

“No, this is good. It sounds like you really love her.”

“Loved her, yes. She was incredible.”

“Do you not love her anymore, now that she’s gone?”

“What?”

“It’s just that you corrected me. I said “you really love her” and you said “loved”, past tense.”

“I… well… I suppose it’s complicated.”

“Really? Why?”

“I mean I. Well. It’s not any of your- I just.”

“That’s okay, we can move along if you like.”

“No, no, it’s just. I do love her. Whenever I think about her. She’s so important to me. It’s just that. I also sort of. Blame her. For the way my life went after she died. I know that’s awful, I’m sorry, I just…”

“It’s not awful, Dorian.”

“It’s not?”

“No, it’s not. You were a teenager, just getting your footing, and she left you alone, with no one, fragile and hurting. And from what you’ve told me before you spent a long time after that in what you have described several times as a death cult. Cults prey on vulnerable people. You were vulnerable because she was gone. It makes sense.”

“It’s still horrible, though. She couldn’t control dying. Honestly I still to this day half suspect the aforementioned death cult had something to do with it.”

“Right. Well all I’m saying is, you can blame her a little bit and you can still love her. They aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Hm.”

“The nightmares. Um.”

“Yes?”

“Some of them are about her. Most of them are about the death cult, and the uh. Escaping of the death cult, and the. Uh. Horrible things that might happen to Zachary, or kat, or even some of my new friends. And some of them- a lot of them- are just really awful memories. Watching Allegra die…”

“Allegra, that was?”

“The cult leader. She was like a mother to me for so long and she… detonated a bomb right in front of me. Blew up a building, tried to blow us both up. We landed in the ocean and I was saved by a passing ship, but she drowned. And in my nightmares I’ll see her just before the bomb went off. Or I’ll hear her telling me things, horrible things. Or I’ll remember people I’ve killed…”

“That does sound… complicated.”

“Yes. I didn’t know what to feel then and I honestly still don’t. The things she made me do are fuel for other, distinct, nightmares, but she was also the only person in the world who even came close to loving me for so, so long, and I just- sorry, I just-“

“It’s okay to cry, Dorian.”

“I don’t want to cry over her, I shouldn’t cry over her, I killed for her, she almost killed me, killed Zachary, she completely destroyed me and I have had to thread myself back together with… dental floss and peanut butter, and I don’t-“

“Here, it’s okay, Dorian. Here, breathe with me. One, two, three, in, one, two, three, hold, one, two, three, out. Good. Wipe your eyes. Where are you?”

“I’m… in New York”

“Where in New York”

“I’m in your office. The new therapy building in the medical complex. Across from your introduction to cognitive development books and horrible annotated books on Freud and why he is wrong about everything. On a couch. The carpet is blue. I kicked off my shoes as soon as I got here.”

“Good, yes. And what year is it?”

“It’s February of 2021. The eighth.”

“Excellent. Good. Keep breathing.”

“I just. It wasn’t fair, you know?”

“What wasn’t fair, Dorian?”

“All of it. Growing up with no parents. My sister dying. Allegra taking me in. Being taught how to kill people, praised for it, murder, subterfuge, all of that godawful violence, enjoying it, being good at it. And then, god, and then Mirabel, and Zachary saving me, I do not deserve that man even in the slightest-“

“I’m sure he would argue that point relentlessly”

“And then almost killing him because of that stupid-“

“You almost killed- okay never mind go on,”

“That stupid instinct, I thought I would know if it was him but I didn’t and those godwaful caverns and Allegra dying right in front of me and all of these years of realizing that I am so, incredibly, irreparably broken that I-“

“Dorian. Look at me.”

“That I-“

“Look at me. Breathe.”

“Okay.”

“Breathe”

“Okay I’m, I’m breathing, I’m-“

“You’re hyperventilating. Breathe with me. One, two three-“

“In”

“One, two, three, hold, and one, two, three, out. Good. A few more.

“One, two, three…”

“Good. Now Dorian. You are not broken.”

“I am, though.”

“You are not. And very much not irreparably so.”

“I’m not completely sure that is a feasible conjugation of that word.”

“Okay. Fine. But Dorian. You have a husband who loves you. You have a home. You have many friends who care very deeply for you. You cook, you clean, you find things to do with your days, you have a new book club with people who seem to be having a great time with you. And you are sitting here with me, in therapy, trying to heal all of those old wounds so that you won’t have to deal with nightmares, or flashbacks, or panic attacks every day of your life. You have built a good solid foundation for yourself. Don’t go telling me these are the actions of someone irreparably broken. You try so hard for yourself, Dorian, don’t dismiss that.”

“I… well. Yes. I suppose so.”

“You’ve got a bit of a smile going there”

“It’s just that you sounded a bit like Zachary there.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that he’s sensible, then!”

“He is. God I love that man. I don’t deserve him.”

“Again, I do believe he would argue that point very strongly.”

“He would, he does.”

“Tissue?”

“Thank you. It is just… there is so much of my life that was spent doing horrible things, dealing with horrible people, being someone monstrous, someone I try to distance myself from as much as humanly possible. And it’s over now, it’s over, and like you say I have this wonderful life I’ve built myself, but it just feels like he- that man I was- is haunting me. Like any moment I’ll just. Turn into him again. Hurt everyone I love, run away and never be seen again.”

“Start up your own death cult while you’re at it maybe?”

“Come on.”

“No, I hear you. Now Dorian I’m going to say something you aren’t going to like, but can you consider it anyway?”

“… alright.”

“What if that man who you were was not a monster. What if he was just a man. In pain, desperate for love, any kind of care and attention. What if he was a man, and that man is still haunting you because he is a part of who you are, and now that he knows you can have love, he wants some from you?”

“…”

“Yes?”

“I’m considering it.”

“And?”

“You were right, I don’t like it.”

“Mhm.”

“But it also… makes sense.”

“I thought it might.”

“I really don’t like it.”

“Tell me why you don’t like it.”

“Because it means that there is nothing… separating me from him. I could just-“

“Hurt people?”

“Yes.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“What?”

“Why don’t you hurt people anymore? Why don’t you explode on everyone you love? Why don’t you run away and start a new death cult?”

“Because I- I-“

“Yes?”

“Because I changed! I am not the man who did that anymore!”

“Does change mean you aren’t that man anymore?”

“Yes! No? Maybe! I don’t know!”

“Or does it mean that that man made a choice to change his behavior. That you made choices to get better. To get out. To have a life.”

“I.. I mean…”

“Dorian. If you are that man, it does mean that all of those things you did back then are still your responsibility, yes. I don’t think you ever stopped thinking of them as your responsibility. But it also means that you get the credit for making those choices to change.”

“Mm. I don’t like it.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s… so much of it was so out of my control! If it hadn’t been for Mirabel, and then Zachary, I couldn’t have-“

“So because you were lucky enough to have a support system you don’t get credit for changing?”

“I… well.”

“Dorian, I would argue that if you weren’t ready to make that change in your life, you wouldn’t have. They didn’t make you into the man you are today, you did. A young man lost his sister, his only family, and then the only love he ever got was from a horrifying death cult, and even that was sparing and conditional. The second you got an opportunity to be something else, to be loved, really loved, you took it. That matters.”

“But what if I’m not better?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if I’m not better. What if that part of me, that part of me that almost killed both of them, that gives me nightmares, that makes me sleep with a knife under my pillow, that man. If you say he’s me. And I’m him. What if he’s just waiting? What if the second something goes wrong I snap and I’m him again?”

“Dorian. Look me in the eye and tell me that you losing your senses and murdering your husband is a genuine concern that you have.”

“Losing my senses and murdering my husband is a genuine concern that I have!”

“Okay! Fair enough. Why?”

“I just told you why!”

“No, you just told me some- roundabout poetic tale about body snatching.”

“Fine. Fine! I am worried about murdering my husband because I have nightmares about murdering my husband and I sleep with a knife under my pillow and sometimes when I wake up the knife is in my hand. Happy now?”

“Dorian?”

“Are you, are you, happy now, that you’ve gotten me to say it? That I can’t even-“

“Dorian.”

“What!”

“Does he know?”

“Of course he knows!”

“Okay, and have you had a conversation about it? A real, feet to the ground conversation about it?”

“… Yes. He insisted after I started sleeping on the couch. He told me that he loved me and trusted me not to kill him in his sleep. He told me that he woke up a few times when it had happened and I never got further than the knife in my hand. And we agreed that if he woke up he would wake me. And I started coming to therapy not long after that.”

“Zachary is a very sensible man. It sounds like you have the situation about as under control as you can get it without actually working out the underlying issues.”

“I love him.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to hurt him. Or scare him. I know it scares him.”

“I know. How about we work on getting you comfortable enough to sleep without the knives?”

“I… yes. I hate that too, but it’s probably a good idea all around. Yes.”

“Okay Dorian. Drink some water. We made some good progress today, I’m proud of you. That’s time for today, go hug your husband who has been hovering outside the door for the past ten minutes. I’ll see you next week and we can get started on a plan, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course. And hey, think about what I said. That man you used to be deserves love just as much as the man you are now does.”

“Thank you. I’ll think about it.”

“See you next week.”

#the starless sea #the haunted air #tss #Sobfest September #Day 16: Release #Dorian #this one’s mine!

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