•Konsistensi•
Adalah hal tersulit. Ia memerlukan kesabaran dan komitmen kuat dalam menjalankan. Apalagi konsisten dalam kebiasaan atau hal-hal baik.
Misalnya membiasakan bangun pagi, rutin membaca buku setiap hari, olahraga mingguan, atau sekadar membereskan tempat tidur setiap paginya.
Butuh alasan yang jelas. Butuh motivasi yang kuat. Karena godaan kemalasan begitu nyata dan tak lain kemalasan itu dari internal diri kita.
Hmmmmm, susah juga ya kalau penyebabnya diri kita sendiri. Haha
Kan manusia lebih suka mengambinghitamkan orang lain sebagai penyebab kesalahan/kegagalannya:D
Tapi nyatanya, diri mereka sendirilah yang berkontribusi atas kegagalan dan kesalahannya tersebut. Dan itu BERULANG!
So, stop blaming others! Let's start "look into ourselves first".
Bisa jadi penyakitnya adalah diri kita sendiri. Bisa jadi yang sebenarnya tercabik-cabik adalah diri kita sendiri. Yang mana artinya, diri kitalah yang perlu obat. Bukan orang lain.
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Meet Sandra J Filer | MBA, US Heal Your Life® Teacher & Coach Trainer
We had the good fortune of connecting with Sandra J Filer and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Sandra J, how has your work-life balance changed over time?
During the pandemic, I worked harder than I did prior to it. While everyone else seemed to be engaged in creative endeavors, I decided to go back to the basics and offer workshops via Zoom. When I began to notice feelings bubbling up of irritation, those feelings alerted me that a change was in order.
I made a decision. (The Universe loves action!) That decision aligned with my core value of quality time with those I love. Therefore, I decided to begin operating my business like the jobs I worked in Corporate America. I established working hours and an official working space. While it is easy to work wherever when self-employed, the energy bleeds on over into treasured time and spaces. Now, Monday through Friday, I am in my office from 9-6. At the end of the day, I shut my laptop and tune in to my cats and husband.
Two true gifts that came from the pandemic are a more balanced approach to Life (and business) and making dinner alongside my husband every day. I think balance is critical to our well-being. Too much of anything is not a good or healthy thing! I believe we must live our values for a truly fulfilling and rich Life. And guess what? I now have time for tapping into my creative talents. Imagine that.
Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
It was an adventure getting here. One of the things I am most proud of attaining along the way is my master’s degree in business. Why? Because it took me years to finish, and I did it! I began working when I was 12 years old. Growing up in the Midwest, I learned that to earn money we had to work really hard for it. And I did.
My family did not have the financial resources to pay for college. Rather, I had to be resourceful. I worked in the banking industry and climbed the proverbial ladder. With that came the benefit of paid education. I went from success to success. First of all, earning a two-year banking degree turned that into a four-year associates of science degree. Then, when I was working as a full-time Manager and Vice President, I took classes in the evenings to complete my master’s degree. It was a lot of work and personal sacrifice. Yet, I was determined to do it. If I did not get the proper grades, I would have had to pay back the funds.
That was not an option for me. Ultimately, I left banking when my integrity was compromised. I walked away from a big title and significant income to become a Mary Kay Sales Director. Because her company values align with mine it was a great fit. Yet, I was still not living my true purpose. And ultimately, I stepped down from the Director position. Which was a decision made at the Heal Your Life® Training! With the loving support of those around me, I took the risk of starting my own business, The Happy Goddess®. Which is titled as such because at the time, my strongest desire was to be happy. Now my mission is to support people in healing their hearts and wounds so they can ultimately live their best Life whatever “best” means to them. My work is richly rewarding!
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What Sacrifices Have You Made In Life?
What sacrifices have you made in life?
My sanity. This was a forced sacrifice because it stared when I was a child. It continued into my 19 year marriage. When parents or a spouse force themselves on you, physically or emotionally, it’s called abuse, assault, rape, etc. It’s called taking away your rights and freedom, and this ultimately takes away your sanity.
With my parents, I had no choice…
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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