#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful

[hippiegoth97]

Be Kind, Rewind: Eddie Munson x Reader

Collage by Me :)

Master List

Tag List: @rafescurtainbangz @voyeurmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @taintedcigs @mediocredreams @slowandsteddie @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @babygorewhore @rattkween86 @violetpixiedust @bimbobaggins69 @purplehazed-h @morning-rituals @eddie-van-munson @msgexymunson @munsoneightysixx @impmunson @mysticalstar30 @jenniquinn @oneforthemunny @succubusmunson @ddeadly-succubus @prettyboyeddiemunson @sanctumdemunson @stalactitekilla @s6raphic @hellfirenacht @birdysaturne @ohmeg @h-ness1944 @pretendthisnameisclever @ahoyyharrington @micheledawn1975 @costellation-hunter @josephquinnsfreckles @leelei1980 @yourdailymemedelivery @spacedoutdaydreamer

A/N: Hey, everybody! I've decided to start posting my Eddie Munson one-shots on here. This one is the first ever story I wrote, both for Eddie and fanfiction in general. It's been edited a couple of times, and may still be a bit rough compared to my current work. But I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Description: You work with Steve and Eddie in the video store while Robin is off at summer camp. You like Eddie a lot, but you've never pursued him out of fear. Lucky for you, he has other plans...

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: Smut, swearing, female reader, drug use, fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, choking, praise/degradation

Word Count: 4k

Divider by @strangergraphics-archive

Be Kind, Rewind

"Alright, for 3 rentals your total is $8.50." You say to the mother struggling to keep her child at bay at the register. He's squirming from her grasp, with a mysterious, sticky substance around his mouth. The woman lets him go in order to reach into her purse. He immediately runs around the corner, headed straight for the candy display. He almost rams directly into it before he's scooped up by your supervisor, Steve Harrington.

"Whoa there, little guy! Looks like you've had enough sugar today. Let's get you back to your mother." Steve walks over and plops the child down. He almost makes yet another run for it, but the transaction is through and the woman wraps her arm around her son to keep him close.

"Thank you, young man! He has just been a terror today. His father dropped him off this morning after letting him go ballistic on a Hershey bar."

"No problem at all, ma'am, have a good day!" Steve replies. And with that, the mother and son walk out the door.

"I see why you get labeled by your friends as 'the babysitter'. You're really good with kids. You'll be a great dad someday, I'm sure." You say with a semi-sarcastic tone. He fixes you with a glare.

"Yeah, whatever. Stop slacking and take these returns in the back to rewind. Eddie is no help, he's probably lighting up in there right now."

"Yes sir!" You salute, which earns you a middle finger from Steve. "I'll whip that freak into shape for you too. Fuck knows I hate pulling more than my fair share of the weight." But that isn't exactly true. You’ve always had a thing for Eddie, ever since you were in school with him. You had talked a few times over the years, but soon enough you were swept up in your own interests. He was running the Hellfire Club, and you were too focused on your studies to have any free time for fun. You found yourself staring at him at lunch though, and he'd always looked right back with a smirk on his handsome face. But you never did anything more. It seemed like you both were worlds apart, even though it was just the opposite end of the cafeteria. But in this job you were lucky enough to get, you are in close proximity to Eddie almost every day.

You still stare sometimes, and you are far from subtle. Neither of you go any further than looks or the occasional teasing remark or small conversation. You wish you had the courage to make a move, but despite his perceived interest in you, you’re afraid he’ll reject you if he knows your true feelings. Sure, he plays around and makes somewhat off-color remarks. But those don’t mean anything, right? Eddie does that with everybody. You're not special to him, right? You spend far too much time trying to convince yourself he doesn't mean anything by what he says around you, thinking it would be crazy for him to like you that way, or at all. It's just a game for him, you always tell yourself. It has to be. You sigh, trying to shake these thoughts away and focus on your task.

You grab the stack of returns, and walk from behind the counter to the back room. Before you open the door marked 'Employees Only', you notice the smell of weed and even see smoke peeking out the bottom of the door. You sigh, rolling your eyes at Eddie's usual antics and pushing the door open, struggling to keep hold on the videotapes. As you walk inside, you ram right into Eddie's chest, causing the tapes to crash onto the floor. "Shit." You mutter, and scramble to pick them back up.

"Oh, shit. Sorry Y/N. Lemme help." Eddie kneels down to gather some tapes. He also picks up the blunt he dropped in your collision, quickly putting it out and into his pocket.

"It's the least you can do, Munson. You know, it wouldn't kill you to do some actual work for once. But I see you have more important things to do." You're not really angry, you're more embarrassed for looking clumsy in front of him. You stand, putting yourself above him.

"Yeah, yeah, save it. I hear enough of that from Harrington already. I know you're not that much of a stickler for rules anyways. You sure do like to pretend though." He looks at you from the floor, reaching up to give you the last tape. A devilish smirk plays on his lips. He really enjoys teasing you, pushing your buttons. It's like he gets off on seeing your face scrunch in quick protest.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Once again, your face goes into that grumpy scrunch he finds so adorable. You cross your arms, acting annoyed.

"It means, Y/N, that you act like the perfect citizen. Good grades, never late, hardworking, blah blah blah." He stands now. Putting that final tape on the table next to the rewinding machine. "But we both know about the looks you liked to steal in the cafeteria at lunch. Those same looks you still like to take now. You are no innocent girl, Y/N."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You lie, cheeks turning bright red. He takes note of your reaction, and presses further. He steps closer to you slowly with each word, eyes staring into yours, until his mouth is just centimeters away.

"Oh, come on, princess." You shiver at the nickname, which he also takes note of. "It's not polite to lie. I get it, you've lived a sheltered life. You feel like you can't waste any time on an asshole like me. Too many reasons not to. You have a bright future waiting for you, right?" He moves his head past yours to speak right into your ear, his hair brushing against your cheek. You freeze, how close he is to you sets your skin aflame. He then speaks quietly, "You wanna know what I think, darling? I think you don't like being a goody-goody at all. I think you're just waiting. Waiting for the right reason to come along for you to break all the rules." He pulls back to look in your eyes, still smirking.

You just stare back in shock, but you're also extremely turned on. You've always wanted to pursue something with Eddie. But he’s right. You don't have time. At least, you think you don't. After the summer, you’re off to college, the first in your family to make it out of this town. But what about before that? The summer has just begun, surely you've earned some fun after years of pounding knowledge into your brain. You’ve earned this, deserve it, even. And Eddie seems more than willing to give it to you.

"You're right." You say simply. His grin somehow gets even wider. You contemplate what to say next, not wanting to give in to him so easily. You're smarter than that. You keep your expression stern, playing a game."You are an asshole." His face falls, and it hurts to see him look like that. You immediately regret that decision.

"Sorry." He turns away from you, grabbing a tape to rewind in the machine. "I guess I read you all wrong. I won't do that again." His tone is soft, sad. He's disappointed, and it's now that you realize he truly likes you. You never really thought about it that way, he always comes off so smug. You just wanted to toy with him the way he seems to do so with you. You have to fix this and fast, otherwise you've blown your chance.

"Oh jesus fucking christ, Eddie! If I would've known you liked me back like that, I wouldn't have said that. I was just messing around, teasing you back. You just act so damn smug all the time, I didn't want to give you the satisfaction so easily." You walk to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He tenses for a moment, and then relaxes, sighing. He turns to you again, a smaller smile this time.

"You sneaky little shit. I ought to punish you for that." His hand comes up to hold yours. His ringed fingers rub gently over yours, the cool metal making you shiver again. He chuckles at your reaction.

"So do it then." You look into his eyes, you're the one smirking now. He just stares at you a moment, seemingly genuinely shocked to hear you say something like that. Then he once again starts grinning like an idiot.

"As you wish, princess." He says as he pulls you into him, smashing his lips onto yours. You kiss him back, biting his lip after a moment. He grunts slightly, letting you slip your tongue in his mouth. He guides you backwards until you're against the wall. His lips move to your neck. He licks a long stripe from your collar bone to below your jaw, making you moan. In response, he starts sucking and biting your neck, being spurred on further by any whimpers or whines you let out.

"Oh, Eddie." You moan out, causing him to stop a moment to look at you.

"I like when you say my name, darling." He resumes his work on your neck, on the other side this time. He also brings his hands up to grab your breasts. You are loving this, but you want more.

You push him away for a moment, and he looks at you, confused. "I just want to take this off." You say as you start to lift your top over your head. Eddie assists you, and strips himself of his own. You take a moment to look at his toned chest, his tattoos, and it makes you melt.

"Like what you see, princess?" You blush as he's caught you staring again. You snap out of your trance and pull him back to you, lips colliding again. You run your hands along his arms, up and down his chest. In turn he grabs your breasts again, massaging them gently. He reaches behind you to unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor. He breaks away to lean down to your breasts. He kisses them sloppily and takes one of your nipples in his mouth.

"Eddie!" You gasp, your hands going into his hair. He nips on your sensitive bud, making you whine, and then he moves onto the other one. Your hands travel down to his jeans, you can feel how hard he is for you. You palm him through the material, and his breath hitches slightly.

"Eager, are we?" He asks, slightly muffled against your chest. He lifts his head up, eyes meeting yours again. He takes a moment to look deep into them. He brings his right hand gently to your face, the thumb brushing across your cheek. His gaze makes you feel so exposed, nevermind the fact that you’re completely topless. This moment seems to last hours, but you could also stay like this forever. "I've always liked you, you know." He says finally.

"I can see that." You say jokingly, Eddie rolls his eyes. "I've always liked you, too. I wish we would've done this so much sooner." You look down, feeling even more exposed somehow. He lifts your chin to regain eye contact.

"Hey now, darling. Don't hide that pretty face from me. And technically speaking, we haven't started much of anything yet." His smile is light and kind this time. "And we don't have to rush into anything if you don't want to." He tries to search your face for an answer, as your mouth is stuck in place. "I'm gonna need you to use your words, Y/N. What do you want?"

You can't help but struggle to get the words out. "I want you, Eddie. All of you. Please?" You don't mean for that last part to sound so desperate, you know it just feeds his ego. But you can't help it. You've tasted Eddie and you want more.

"Then all of me you will get, dollface." He kisses you again, softer this time, slower. He moves you again, to the counter next to the rewinding machine, lifting you onto it. His tongue roams down your jaw, neck, chest, his body lowering with it. He's on his knees now,  his hands making quick work of unbuttoning your jeans. You lift yourself slightly so he can pull them down, along with your panties. "Well damn, princess. So wet for me already?" He gazes with wonder at your glistening pussy. You blush a bit at his words, almost reaching your hands up to hide your face. Eddie stops you, holding your wrists. "Don't try to hide from me, darling. Be a good girl for me." You felt yourself become wetter from his words, good girl. "You like when I call you that?" He looks up at you for confirmation.

"Yes, Eddie." You say, your voice is a little shaky.

"I'll keep that in mind." With that, he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

"Oh, fuck, Eddie!" You cry out. Your hips buck slightly, but Eddie holds them down.

"I love hearing those beautiful noises from you, baby. But I don't think either of us want to get caught fucking on the job by Harrington, do we? Just try to stay quiet for me, okay?" You nod in agreement, biting your index finger to suppress your moans as Eddie resumes his work on your dripping cunt. He licks your entrance, occasionally inserting his tongue, moaning at how sweet you taste. You've had this done to you before, but that’s nothing compared to Eddie. He starts sucking on your clit, bringing you closer to the edge. His middle finger going inside you, pumping in and out at an agonizing pace. You moan and whine for him, and he's eating up every moment of it. He moans against your clit, the vibrations pushing you closer and closer. You're seeing stars when he puts in a second finger, curving and pumping them in and out expertly.

"Oh fuck, oh, Eddie!" You feel the knot inside you snap, and you release onto his face and fingers. You do your best to hold the scream back, your hand clasped tightly over your mouth. Your hips buck violently and your legs shake as you ride out your high. Eddie slides his fingers out of you, bringing them to his lips as he stands up. You watch as he shoves them fully into his mouth, sucking them clean. He keeps his eyes on yours the whole time, and you can't help but feel soaking wet for him again.

"Mmm, you taste delicious, Y/N. And you were such a good girl for me." He says as his fingers leave his mouth with a pop. He kisses you once again, and you taste yourself on his bruised lips. You take this as your signal to stroke Eddie's cock through his pants to give him a turn. He groans slightly, moving to your neck to suck harshly on your flesh. You’re sure to have marks before he’s done with you. You start fiddling with his belt, and he stops. He moves your hands and helps you out, undoing the belt and zipper clumsily. He pulls his jeans and boxers down, his cock springing free, hitting his stomach. Out of instinct, you slide off the counter and onto your knees. You grab the base of him, and take his head into your mouth. He groans again, and it’s quickly becoming your favorite sound.

"Mmm." You moan as you swirl your tongue around the head, your hand stroking the rest of him. You take him as deep as you can, surprising yourself when you fit him all the way in. He mutters curses under his breath as you bob your head on him, licking swirls around his length the whole time.

"Fuck, Y/N" He rasps. "Such a good girl for me." His praises make you more and more wet every time he utters them. You could hear them a million times, and be left wanting to hear them a million more. You can feel his balls tightening, he's so close to cumming. "Y/N, sweetheart. Stop or I'll cum." He says quietly. You remove yourself from him, standing up again. "You are a goddess at that, baby. But I have a feeling we'll both enjoy something else even more." He lifts you back onto the counter, slowly rubbing his cock against your clit and folds. You both moan quietly at this action, and he lays you down while kissing you. He pulls away, preparing to position himself. "Are you ready, darling?" He asks, seeming genuinely nervous about your answer. He truly wants to please you, but only if you let him.

"Yes, Eddie. Please, just fuck me already." Again, you sound so desperate, which you are. But you can't help but love the smirk he gives you in response.

"Anything for you, princess." And with that, he pushes into you, causing you both to groan at the sensation. He gives you a moment to adjust to his size, trying to keep himself together, despite how perfect you feel around his dick. You kiss him passionately to signal him to start moving. And when he does, he starts real slow. Carefully pumping in and out of you, teasing almost. He's in no rush, he just wants you to feel comfortable.

"As amazing as you feel right now, Eddie, I need you to go faster." You look in his eyes, practically begging him to make you unable to walk for a week.

"Your wish is my command, Y/N." He begins to snap his hips, plunging into you at a punishing pace. He hits your g-spot easily and expertly. You moan his name over and over, feeling the knot rapidly forming again. He moans too, your name and the phrase 'good girl' falling from his lips. "Is it okay if I try something?" He asks while thrusting at almost inhuman speed.

"Yes, Eddie. Do whatever you want to me. I want it all." You beg, and he brings his ringed hand to your throat. He wraps around it gently, squeezing ever so slightly, gauging your reaction. You moan loudly in response, looking at him with lust and hunger in your eyes. He smiles at you, loving how willingly you submit to him. He loosens his grip on you, moving to stroke your breasts instead. You stop him, bringing his hand back up to your throat. "More, please. It's so fucking hot." You say to him, almost whining for him to continue choking you.

"I knew you were a kinky little freak, princess. I fuckin’ love it." He puts pressure on your throat again, making you feel lightheaded. The knot is threatening to snap any second now. You can tell he’s close, too.

"I'm so close, Eddie. Fuck me harder." You can't believe the things coming out of your mouth, begging him to have any way with you he desired.

"I’m right there with you, sweetheart. I'll give you anything you want. You're such a good girl. Cum for me." He says with a groan, his thrusts becoming sloppy. Despite this, he tries to keep up the pace to bring you down with him. 

“Oh, fuck! Eddie!” You scream as your orgasm rips through you, the world around you exploding. Your walls clamp down onto him, and your thighs tremble outside of your control. 

“Shit.” Eddie grunts when his own high overtakes him. His load spills into you, his hips bucking wildly against you in his final thrusts. He collapses onto you a moment later, panting heavily. You both lie here for a moment, trying to catch your breath. Eddie plants some grateful kisses on your throat as you come down from your highs. When he finally pulls out of you, he looks down to see your mixed release oozing from your cunt. “Jesus christ.” He mutters, his softened cock twitching at the sight. He’s unable to resist the temptation, and kneels down to clean you up with his tongue.

"Fuck!" You're still sparking from your last orgasm, and his cleanup efforts swiftly cause you to cum yet again, screaming his name and tangling your hands in his hair. The stars subside and Eddie stands upright to kiss your lips.

"You're such a good girl for me, darling. Let's get you dressed before Harrington busts us in here." He helps you to your feet, but you stumble as your legs feel like jelly. "Take it easy. I'll help you." He gathers your clothing and gently helps you put everything back on. Only then does he start dressing himself again. You almost whine at the loss of looking at his naked body, but you keep the lust at bay for now.

"So, what does this mean, Eddie?" You feel stupid for asking, this could just be a one-time thing for him. Another notch in the bedpost for the famous Eddie Munson. You pick at your fingers, looking down at the floor.

"What do you want it to mean?" He lifts your chin with his finger, wanting you to meet his eyes.

"Well, I'd like to do this more often with you. And maybe more...if you want." You feel so naked and vulnerable again, even though you're now fully clothed.

"What? Like a date? You wanna be my girlfriend?" He asks, his hand moving to your cheek again. You can't help but feel like he thinks it's a joke. He's hard to read when he smirks like that all the time.

"Yes. If you want to." You reply, trembling slightly. You can’t help being so nervous. Maybe this was all a mistake. He just said things you wanted to hear to get in your pants, and now he's toying with you again. He uses his hands to try to calm you down, rubbing your shoulders gently. He looks into your eyes with sincere care and affection, making your heart melt.

"You need to stop overthinking in there." He taps on your temple with his finger. He smiles calmly. "Of course we can do that. I'd love that more than anything." You smile at his words, throwing your arms around him. Your lips meet again, soft and tender. You can't believe it, you just fucked the baddest guy in town and you get to be his girlfriend. You feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and Eddie feels like he won the lottery. You keep kissing for a while, not wanting to stop living in this moment.

"Alright, guys. I don't know how much pot you've smoked, but if all those tapes aren't rewound by now I'm gonna-" Steve barges in the door, and his jaw drops at the sight of you kissing and groping each other. "Oh, for fuck's sake, you guys! I mean, I saw you two hooking up coming from a mile away. Shit, a blind man could do that. But why must it be here? Where I have to see you?” Steve scolds, continuing on his rant. “And goddammit, it reeks of sex in here! I'll need to get more air freshener. Not like I don't use enough covering Eddie's weed smell. Congrats on being cute and disgusting at the same time. Dammit! Do I need to babysit you, too? Just get yourselves together and get those tapes rewound!" He storms out, but you can still hear him muttering things to himself on the other side of the door.

You and Eddie look at each other, mouths open in shock. And then you burst out laughing, Eddie falling to the floor in a fit of cackling. And all you can think is that this is going to be the best summer of your life.

The end.

#hippiegoth97 #fanfiction #eddie munson #stranger things #hawkins #1980s #smut #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson one shot #family video #coworkers to lovers

[runs-red]

Why the Radqueer community is harmful. 

[This has been more or less a side-vent for me so it's a little un-organised and full of half-thoughts. | Civil discourse is encouraged]

Just to start off, yes, not all radqueers believe the same thing. This is about the community as a whole and what is generally accepted there. I was a radqueer when I was a bit younger. I’m talking about the patterns I recognise and the things I’ve personally seen in the community. 

Since this is a common denominator, I’ll point this out first: the “acceptance and support of everything” is way too high to the point where it becomes harmful. Which doesn’t sound like something that could be possible. I remember being a radqueer and thinking the concept of acceptance being harmful was a crazy concept, but yes, acceptance can be harmful. A lot of the things I'll be pointing out wouldn't be an issue if there were a level of intolerance and a point where people would put their foot down. Acknowledging that paraphiles aren’t something people choose to have and that they can control their actions (pro-para) is completely different from acting like paraphilias are the same as being gay and that the big three can have contact (radpara). 

Radical acceptance of paraphilias and contact. 

Contact stance discourse is seemingly never-ending, radical pro-contacts and ideology pop up consistently enough, and sexual abuse and grooming have been reported from the community consistently. The community's environment is just prone to attracting these kinds of beliefs too, even if there are people in the community who are against them. Consensual abuse and seeking or being in toxic relationships are also somewhat relevant in the community. It doesn't really seem like "just" kink to me, because in a BDSM relationship, terms like "transgroomer" aren't used, and it's not about fuffiling a transtion. 

Normalisation of Self-Harm.

There is no shortage of transharmed terms and transition tips in the tags, as well as vent and fantasy posts. Again, the issue isn’t the feeling. Feeling like you should be hurt is relatively common. The issue is that this is just being encouraged and not dealt with properly. I feel like transharmed terms would be better if the transition tips were about coping with that feeling, trying to get better, and dealing with the root cause rather than “hurt yourself or roleplay being hurt.”.

Acceptance of socially insensitive/offensive content. 

From racial transition tips to transharmful terms to genuine contact discourse, there’s a wide variety of wildly insensitive content in the tags. There's a difference between being socially unconventional and supporting terms like transnazi and telling people to tan their skin to look brown. 

If your thinking it's ironic a pro-fiction person is talking about things like insensitive content - I think theres a huge difference between saying that gross ass kinky fiction and gross ass sex scenes can exist in fiction, and supporting real school shooter edits and encouraging black face. I also am allowed to have limits on what I think is okay and not okay like anyone else.

---

Again, I don't think the issue is in being pro-para and pro-non-normative dysphoria but in the overall toxic environment in the community.

#I repeat - this is messy af. #anti radqueer #radqueer #reds.discourse

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[ahollowgrave]

11. Blood at the corner of your mouth.

It is not your blood at the edge of your mouth. Not your blood that your tongue swipes from the corner of your lips.  Not your blood whose coppery tastes lingers between your teeth. 

But he fucking deserved it.

Sister Kindness has you tucked under her arm as she, to use her words, books it. Something she must not do often because she huffs and puffs her way through the crowded Shaded Bower. And though some call out ‘Sister’ to her with warm recognition she does not stop ‘booking’ it. (Sister Kindness would have you know that she is perfectly in shape for a woman of her age. She was ‘huffing and puffing’ from the extra weight of carrying you, thank you very much.)

She slows when the westshore pier appears around the corner and then she steps off the main path and sets you down. Kneeling to be something more like eye-level, she pulls a Roegadyn-sized handkerchief from the depths of her habit. Wetting a corner with a flask pulled from a separate, equally confusing pocket she begins to clean the blood from your face.

Sister Kindness’ hand is firm where it grips your chin, holding as little of you as possible. For once the contact does not send you recoiling. Perhaps it is the way your rage has left you as quickly as it had flooded you, leaving you feeling drained of everything else as well. Now that the moment has passed you tremble and, to your horror, you can feel a well of tears rising to fill that empty space.

“Was a helluva bite, darling girl,” Sister Kindness’s voice is quiet as she tilts your head to the light, searching for any blood she may have missed. You focus on her creek colored eyes and swear you feel their waters lapping at your ankles. Her smile is sudden but woozy around the edges; she is just as shaken. "Reckon he'll have a scar, too. Bet he lies about who gave it to him." ‘He’ was an elezen man -- maybe a merchant but likely not, as Sister Kindness did not know him -- with a face as sharp as his ears and a smile that spoke of too much confidence. And you had hated him on sight. His crime was making Sister Kindness uncomfortable and his mistake was not being aware of his surroundings. 

It does not take much pressure to break skin. 

Pleased with her work, Sister Kindness rises and disappears the handkerchief away. Handing you the flask, she instructs you to take a sip, swirl it around your mouth, and spit it out. There is some confusion about what 'swirl' means but, eventually, she is satisfied with this too. “Well, we didn’t get what I came for but we’ll be headed home all the same. Come now, before the ferry leaves without us. We will, ah, not be telling the abbess about this.” You don’t know if she means the bite or the trip to the city. 

You don’t ask.

Thank you for the ask, Anon! ][ Sensory Prompts ][

#Answered #Pigeon Writing #Sister Kindness #Sister Patience #<- tags for odette/convent stuff as it's her nun name #i have just decided this #which means I will forget it thank you #but also thank you for the ask anon this one wrote itself more or less !! #posting this before i think too much about it #i am lowkey trying to stop writing only second person pov because I've had enough people casually tell me the hate it #(not my writing like specifically but just the pov in general) #(which is normal and fine !!! just sometimes disheartening like life is sometimes) #but the prompt used 'you' and gestures #but also sister kindness why do these merchants greet you warmly HUH!? #aren't you suppose to be living a secluded life of holy contemplation HUH SISTER KINDNESS??? #(i remove my hands from the keyboard so i stop editing the tags) #(brains are dumb why do we even HAVE these)

[xinyuehui]

࣪ ◟ There are two of us now ◝

#oh no! here comes trouble #oh no here comes trouble #不良執念清除師 #不良执念清除师 #twdramaedit #asiandramasource #dailyasiandramas #cdramasource #dramasource #twdrama #taiwanese drama #caps #ep8/11 #i lost the file for the transport edit lmaoo hahaha 🥲🥲🥲🥲 #anyways these are when you gotta be professional but also subtle about fandom kind of wallpapers #i just like how theres 2 helmets now 🥺🥺🥺 #its for everyone to use as wallpaper feel free to tag me and show me if you do decide to use! (no repost though as per usual ♡♡✧✧ #oh yeah did i ever mention i take requests too just to throw that out there

[knivestothroats]

hm i was able to write out a bullet list outline of an itws sequel but have no desire to write it. life is like that sometimes.

#i mean i tried to write the first scene a couple times and didn't like it so #also tmi in the tags #first time in my life i want to get on antidepressants so i can write again #loss of interest in hobbies for more than 2 weeks and all that #i successfully sewed something tho #anyway i kind of dont have insurance #like i do but i moved so i can't use it here #and i can't afford therapy or whatever on my own rn #anyway. shush. #i ALSO need to finish editing itws so i can send it to a publisher but editing sucks so bad i hate it #i have to rewrite two scenes and i just have no idea what to do in their place #then just general fix ups #my main two beta readers have opposite opinions too

[unproduciblesmackdown]

getting gnc with it out & about at math meetup (or wherever)

#of course you have a zillion idea for faves' Looks. & also simultaneously none; if you're me #here's one: just the combo Different But Overlapping W/More Usual approach #easy to imagine winston Stays comfy to a sufficient degree &/or oft sticks to a Default kind of outfit approach. but anything's possible #like shaking things up gently for taylor too. always appropriate. ideal person from work to run into; as is often true #they can't make you link up that little taylor sketch w/any Sequence here. it can be its own independent taylor reaction lol #w/their slightly raised shoulders / all the more elevated [expressions i particularly like] it creates momentum like #well now i'd go and elevate winston's [expressions i particularly like] even more lol. the Especially Enjoyed trademarks/classics.... #and of course we do not have winston running into taylor without Also being 💖😳 about it. what's Ever going on around here #tayston #winston billions #corned beef #winston's little a gnc with it even just in his tees & cargo pants. no normativity out here. genderdivergent & neurononconforming #i Did move to add sparkly gold eyeliner?shadow? take your pick b/c [Autistacity Shoutout] #taylor's outfit coloration based on [picked a medium grey like a tanktop akd had] & then was going to have spun off from a deep purple or #more like the burgundy taylor wears but a much lighter color would've just been more helpful w/all the Other lighter colors; like the lines #namely the lines showing up against it....so; stunningly; a bit more light blue for us all lol #another moment of pencil lineart but this time drawn today vs months ago. some digital editing; all digital coloring #as inaccessibly discussed prior....epic highs & triumphs of spontaneous sorts of [existing outside work's hostile environment] meetups #yes this is hoodie vs hoodie moments (they would never fight) (they may kiss???) (go back several tags & peruse things)

[ultimategirldad]

[ID: screenshot from the spamton sweepstakes page, featuring a caption from the engraved wristwatch prize. It says "NEED PROOF? THERE LIES THE NAME OF THE [angel with the tattered wings]!". End ID]

So I think regarding this page. It's interesting to contextualise it with the text preceding it - especially the angel with the tattered wings part. 

I don’t think we’ve ever seen Noelle Holiday described like this before and it’s absolutely fascinating to me.

#deltarune #noelle #spamton sweepstakes #Edit: really long tags!! fyi #there is a lot I want to say but i'm too tired lol. anyways noelle holiday is a character with well documented flaws and-- #--the text in that page doesn't feel ooc for me at all. like. yes she's indecisive. yes she's literally frozen in fear. yes she'll literally #inconvenience herself so she doesn't step on others toes. and yes she's not gonna do anything about the bullying because... #what CAN she do? talk to kris? something that's established as a Hard and Rare thing to do. tell a teacher? literally which teacher?? #alphys the one who sees this happen day in and out and with the authority to make a difference... but doesn't. or toriel. which I'm #not even gonna explain why that would go terribly. So that leaves us with... noelle standing up to susie herself. which i'd like to #point out that noelle learns to stand up for herself and others by the *end* of chapter 2. so I think there's most definitely a #precedent here for noelle to act the way she does. she's deeply flawed and has many weaknesses to exploit (as we've seen in -- #snowgrave) BUT she's deeply wonderful and kind and all of that coexists together. #WHOOPS I didn't mean for this to get so long sdfghjkl and rant-y uhm I'm really not that fussed I just think people are seeing-- #a character act in a non-ideal way and immediately assuming that it has to be Not Canon or OOC or Wrong. #I agree the topic and text is uncomfortable but. not anything unexpected?? yeah that's my 2 cents #this was all typed in one go by a sleep deprived me so if I got anything incorrect please don't pick me apart thank u #cryptic capri #discourse #<-- just in case bc I went OFF on a tangent with this lol

[schmabbald]

just the three of them

they could make it if we try anyway these are all slapdashed because i wanted to put my ideas down not make them look great. that's why dreads coat looks the way it does and why the weapons are p lackluster. i like these drawings anyway though. im a sucker for cute colours

#dread is my sweet little creechur and if anything bad happens to him ill blow this whole website up #rtgame miitopia #also. if youre so kind as to read these tags. dread is half plantfolk (as opposed to full like john) #and hes named after the tower of dread #both he and john were exiled from their respective communities in bigg forest #bit of ancient lore for you from my original fixation on these guys back in the day #thanks for taking the time to read it #OUGHH EDIT I DONT LIKE CUPCAKE #like im sorry. she simply is not up to snuff. i need to redraw her she deserves better #half of the problem is just the hair like. i forgot about it COMPLETELY also i was using dragon drawing logic for her face. too creature

[graciousdragon]

i found this poor attempt of a song mashup while going through my old projects in capcut the other night. believe me when i tell you it sounded way worse when i found it. here it is, finished and edited so it only sounds slightly off-timing. i will now inflict you all with this cursed ass audio. enjoy!! :D

#rys.txt #rys banging out the tunes #<- yeah i'm making myself a music tag. i will likely hardly ever use this but shhh. its ok #i came up with this idea like. 2 years ago i think. i only got like two lines into it before i gave up on it originally #i managed to make it work kind of?? i made this in capcut and you should not us capcut to make mashups please use an actual audio software #honestly just don't use capcut in general. its really slow and laggy and there's way too much ai shit. i need to switch editing softwares #i think i was actually kind of cooking with this idea tho. i think it would work if i had any idea what i was doing #this goes out to my mutual bitchboy who heard two trucks for the first time today. sorry dude lol #two trucks #lemon demon #montero #montero (call me by your name) #lil nas x

[mattodore]

best part of having ocs is that i can just write them doing whatever i want. like i can just do anything with them and it's like oh yeah. that's happening. and no one can be like hang on you can't do that bc actually i can since they're mine <3

#river dipping #like hell yeah brother of course i make aus for my ocs and daydream about them as like. vampires or whatever #anyway hello :) i really meant it when i said the suck session finale would put me out of commission for a few days #there's a ton to catch up on i bet but i'll take my time with it... tho i will be checking on kmik and valentine gen. 3 EXPEDITIOUSLY #i'm actually busy in google docs atm tho!! i'm using oc questionnaires to further flesh out mattodore. i 100% yoinked these questions #from an ask game i saw. there's like... sixty of them? theo's doc is already like 2k long and i still have ten more questions to answer... #matthias's questionnaire is finished but now i feel bad that his is only 1.8k so i might go back and add more... #sorry matthias </3 maybe be a little more nuanced as a character next time #i'll probably be posting these here actually so i can put them in my oc extras tag... tho idk how well the formatting will carry over #what else... oh i finally started working on editing the photos i took of mattodore back in march (and showed a bit of before) #i don't think i'm going to edit them as intensely as i did my pinned post bc that was... very time consuming... but we'll see #i wound up selecting just eight photos but that's still eight photos to edit so... hm. idk when i'll post 'em #oh and it's pride month!! so i'm determined to at least try to make the two final characters from echthroi this month... #i think i'm kind of getting an image of jackson going now but everett still alludes me... i'm also thinking abt changing her name #these two have gone through so many changes in the last seven months character-wise... fdgfhjkfgh #dutchie too tbf like his name originally was EDWIN... smh #OH....... and i see i have messages i need to reply to i'm sawrry </3 i will get to them........... i swear................................

[wayhavenots]

rule: put your spotify on repeat playlist on shuffle and post the first 10 songs that come on.

Tagged by beloveds @grapecaseschoices and @sohmiya !

Sharing on this blog because most of these have IF associations in my mind (I rambled in the tags :) feel so free to ignore lol)

And tagging (zero pressure!!) @serenpedac @griffin-wood @lahellacute @amlovelies @toads-treasures (and anyone else who wants to!!! I get shy about tagging!!)

1. It's Called Freefall by Paris Paloma

2. Light by Sleeping at Last

3. Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

4. Kind of Love by Ellen Winter

5. Eat Your Young by Hozier

6. Cocaine Jesus by Rainbow Kitten Surprise

7. Jupiter by Sleeping at Last

8. Thin Mints by Evan Crommett

9. Not Gone by Ingrid Michaelson

10. Break Bones by Wild Child

#ok now to ramble about the if associations in the tags lol #it's called freefall is both very sidestep and very charge: anyway you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself #light is from the pov of a parent talking to a child...but it makes me have navery baby feelings in particular #i promise i'll do better 🥺 #kind of love is just chapter one of hunger and thirst #eat your young...was probably on repeat bc of that beautiful bobby x detective edit from a few weeks ago #cocaine jesus makes me think of (infamous) seven and mc #when you find an old picture of us and clear away the dust hope you miss me sometimes #(in my head in my head i get lonely sometimes) #jupiter is avery's sleeping at last song (which is why i was surprised she got earth on that quiz lol) #esp after book 3: make my messes matter make this chaos count #thin mints makes me think of glitch #write you all the poems like whitman you can take my thin mints #break bones is chargestep and specifically rose and ric #can't forget that we were friends...i hope this fight just never ends

[solradguy]

You know, we all make jokes about Sol/Frederick and Jack-O'/Aria being married (myself included), but they never actually refer to Aria as Frederick's wife in Begin (or anywhere else, afaik) and definitely not with Jack-O' anywhere.

I think the closest they got with Aria has been 恋人 (koibito; lover/boyfriend/girlfriend), which was kinda tricky to render in English when it was used gender neutrally. I ended up translating it as "partner" at least once for the Begin translation.

#textpost #I don't think saying they're married is bad just that it's an interesting point I haven't seen anyone mention before #It makes me wonder if maybe they would've gotten married if the Gear cell research thing didn't go sideways #But since Aria was apparently terminally ill maybe they decided not to? #We also don't know very much about how the culture of the world changed post-Dawn of Revival #Since they were in America maybe it would've been just a simple court marriage instead of a big elaborate one #I can't see either of them being into something that flamboyant haha Especially not Frederick #But I don't think we know how long they had been dating either? I'd have to double check that #Frederick got torn tf up for like 100+ years over what happened to Aria though so I'm gonna assume they were together for a while #I'm very interested in that period of GG lore between the years 2000 to 2016 (Dawn of Revival and the events of Begin) #What's the other thing you can do in the US besides marriage? A civil partnership? Maybe they had something like that #Since Frederick/Sol is based on Freddie Mercury so much maybe if Sol is also Parsi then maybe their marriage would've been- #-something related to that culture or perhaps blended with Aria's? #I don't know very much about Parsi culture but must cultures have something similar to a marriage or partnership bonding ceremony- #-so I'm sure it does too #Anyway it's kind of fun to think about!! #Ah typos in the tags... I'm on mobile and can't edit them. RIP

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

#cats #also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many #beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my #computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him #and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and #perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted #their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately #was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few #treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/ #They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh #I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder?? #Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it #But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures #I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc. #They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them #elderly boys.!!!! #I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that #feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead #but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days

[heartbrake-hotel]

Ugh. You won't believe this. I'm sorry to bug you, but I just needed to vent.

I saw some idiot on twitter saying that when E met Priscilla he had an eleven year old girl living with him in Germany. They mentioned Scotty Moore said that in his book so I looked it up. What he said was at the time E met Cilla, he had an "even younger German girl" (his words) living in the house with his father and grandmother. Except...well, I can't find any proof of this; there’s no evidence nor mention of this girl (or how old she was) anywhere else in the book nor in any other books written about him. No proof he had anyone else like that living with him in Germany.

So I don’t think that claim is true. Where do people come up with this stuff anyway? How do you not get into an argument with these idiots? Because it's super annoying.

ugh, believe it or not, baby, im not surprised at all. but you could never bug me !!! 💖 sorry it took me so long to answer this, but rest assured i haven't calmed down about this any since you first sent it 😅

a couple notes‐ honestly, i'm inclined to believe scotty. NOT TWITTER to clarify lol.. eleven seems young for him even if you are looking to view e through the most unflattering light possible 😬 but it seems likely to me that he had another teenage girl maybe not uh. officially on the lease or anything but staying over most nights ! more than ONE even sounds plausible.. we all know that someone didn't like his bed cold.!

people who claim to hate elvis sure spend an awful lot of time reviling him on the internet, especially by regurgitating half-remembered anecdotal evidence without citing their sources. 🙄 on the other hand, it's also easy to fall into the trap of too-faithful elvis historian; by that i mean that the fact that so much of his life is documented sometimes makes us complacent in our belief that if it can't be verified by multiple primary sources that it must not have happened. but we can't always say, and getting too involved as if the historical accuracy of one particular proposed event is the end-all be-all of elvis fandom can get exhausting.!

i wouldn't be surprised to find out either way, that this was or wasn't true. but you're free to make up your own mind, and if it distresses you, then fwiw i think you Totally have a leg to stand on affirming it never happened, like you said !! ultimately, it doesn't have much bearing on right now- if you like elvis, this vague and nebulous criticism probably isn't the thing that'll make you stop liking elvis, and if you hate elvis, you're probably determined to keep doing that regardless.

regarding the twitdiots- while looking into this claim i found a lady on there who legitimately believed that agent elvis tells the true story of how e was experimented on and mind controlled into drug abuse by the government.. like she said That with her whooole chest. so i don't put much stock in public opinion over there 😂😂💀

i want to fight those people extremely often (they're not just on twitter, either- it seems to have died down a little praise GOD but especially in early days after the movie there was a wave of ppl on here who would put their elvis hate in the main tags. WHICH DROVE ME BATTY), but i come from the "don't feed the trolls" era of fandom. as much as id like to rip 'em a new one when they rehash the same two issues over and over and OVER again ad nauseum, i content myself with the fact that they're living a pathetic existence in which they actively choose to fill their life with something they dislike for... no discernable reason.?

no one who spends their time bringing up a dead celebrity at all opportunities just to bash them is actually open to a discussion. and i do think there is a discussion to be had- his life was certainly very troubled, and i think there are a lot of nuanced issues that benefit from being spoken about openly !!!

but i like to debate bc i like to WIN- so jackasses tend to be a waste of my time 😘

#ask #if anyone DOES decide to start fighting idiots tho tag team me !!! #ill pop in for a few rounds 👊💥 #i try to just move on without paying it too much attention #and everyone on here is so lovely its a good distraction !!! #i dont think theres any harm in choosing to see the good in people #esp dead people im sorry #like either im right and elvis was a flawed but kind person (all i get is bragging rights) #or im wrong and he was a dirtbag (all i get is . literally nothing) #when i die and meet him ill send yall word but i think we already know what the answer is 😘 #but either way it doesnt have much objective bearing on my life.. #as long as im deluding myself into writing fanfic anyway who cares right?? 🤪 #like who cares if i choose to use him as a vessel to make myself happier #i DO truly believe he was a good person and i think weve p much reached the point where #no one but angie marchese herself could talk me out of that #🙃🙃🙃 #NOTE THIS LOGIC DOES *NOT* APPLY TO PPL WHO MAKE FLOWER CROWN EDITS OF SERIAL KILLERS