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Don’t let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces.
k.b. // unknown
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moaninmoonen · 13 days
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A teacher committed to her job...
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oracle-fae · 1 year
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by shapelessflame
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nerdasaurus1200 · 4 months
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Alastor: Short demons are without a doubt the least threatening creatures in all of hell. Honestly, what could they do to me? They can’t even reach me.
Lucifer: Say goodbye to your kneecaps motherfucker.
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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.
officer: last name?
Dick : .....ah. you must be new.
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leinterested · 6 months
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Elf girls
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53v3nfrn5 · 11 months
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Animal Crossing: New Leaf (2012)
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theheartofthestar · 2 months
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Sirius, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?
Remus: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for four years or do I play along?
Sirius: Play along!
Remus: Alright. Sorry, I'm not interested, I'm married
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(What really happened in ROTS)
Obi-Wan: It’s over, Anakin! I have the high ground!
Anakin: Nu-uh!
Obi-Wan:
Obi-Wan: THE FUCK YOU MEAN “NU-UH???”
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incorrectquotesmcu · 2 months
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Natasha: Damn, the power went out.
Y/N: Don’t worry, I got this.
Y/N: [shakes rapidly and starts to light up]
Natasha: What-?
Y/N: I swallowed a glow stick!
Natasha: WHY WOULD YOU—
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Lucifer: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Alastor: Oh, really? You’re an idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Lucifer: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING CHARLIE WITH ME! Charlie, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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chronicbeans · 4 months
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Angel Dust: Why are boys so hot?
Vaggie: Why are girls so hot?
Husk: Why is everybody so hot?
Alastor: Why is my jambalaya so hot?!
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moaninmoonen · 1 month
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Always wear helmets...
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Pei Ming: So, are there any lucky ladies in your life?
Hua Cheng, very seriously: Tell me every aspect of my personality that made you think I was straight so I can change it immediately.
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nerdasaurus1200 · 1 month
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Odysseus: Wait, how are there 558 men down here, we had 43!
Eurylochus: Elpenor died at Circe’s.
Odysseus: Son of a bitch!
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fyanimaldiversity · 6 months
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African wild dog (Lycaon pictus) with reduced pattern
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