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lucysometimeswrites · 3 years

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Awards Season

sup! this is an idea i had that i just had to write. it’s more of the reader’s experience and her thought and her moment than tom, but i still hope you like it. feedback accepted and have a good day :)

Y/N is playing ciara bravo’s role in this, and yeah, enjoy! also lmk if u want a latina version of this or tom winning the award cuz i have it

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“And here to present the award for Best Actress in a Supporting Role we have previous winner of the very same award: Anne Hathaway!” the host announced. Anne appeared from the left side of the stage, expertly walking and smiling towards the microphone while everyone clapped and cheered for her.

“Thank you! Thank you, you are too kind” she said cheekily, earning a laugh from the audience. “Tonight, we are honoured with the presence of many talented and passionate actresses, and by that I mean me, of course,” she continued, the audience loving her humour more and more. Anne started her small speech about the characters the actresses nominated in the category portrayed, commenting that I portrayed a troubled character who becomes a drug addict for love. I felt a warmth touch my hand, and I turned to Tom, who was sitting right beside me. He gave me a reassuring smile and squeezed my hand, knowing that I felt a little anxious about this award. It was my first Oscar nomination, and after working my ass off for Cherry where I co-starred with Tom, even I thought I deserved it. I didn’t care much about winning, though, because I felt I won the moment I got nominated. Yes, it is very cliche and almost everyone says that, but now I can see how true it is. This is probably the biggest moment of my career yet, and I was loving every second of it.

Tom and I stared at each other with a smile for a bit longer, until we heard Anne say, “Here are the nominees for Best Actress in a Supporting Role”:

“Emma Stone, Him and Her,” Ooo I loved that film.

“Anya-Taylor Joy - Emma,” Her range is insane.

“Y/N Y/L - Cherry,” I gave a big smile and a wave to the camera as it focused on me, simultaneously squeezing Tom’s hand again because he knew how the cameras made me a little awkward and uncomfortable. “You did great.” he whispered in my ear, and I gave him a small smile back.

“Jennifer Lawrence - Don’t Look Up,” My literal idol.

“Taraji P. Henson - At 38th Street,” She’s so talented.

“And the Oscar goes to...”

Those five seconds she took to open the envelope were the shortest and longest of my life. I felt as if the world had stopped, along with my breathing, and Tom and I were squeezing each other’s hands to the point where I was sure we’d cut each others circulation off. I loved how excited and nervous he was for me, and he’d made sure to tell me plenty of times before the show that he’d be there for me whether I won or not and that we would celebrate until we couldn’t feel our feet anymore. He had been my literal rock through--

“Y/N Y/L, Cherry!” Anne exclaimed.

...What?!

I looked up astonished to Anne, and even mouthed Me? to her. She happily nodded, and that’s when it clicked that the entire theatre was clapping for me. Shock and confusion and amazement ran through me, making me lose sense as to what to do next. I slowly rose from my seat, looking around and my eyes landed on Tom, who sported the biggest smile ever and helped pull me up. We stood in front of each other for a millisecond before he engulfed me in a big, strong hug and I, still in shock, slowly put my arms around his neck and reciprocated the affection.

“You did it, darling! You did it!” he proudly said in my ear.

“I did it...I can’t believe I did it. I’m so freaking shocked and confused I don’t know what to do” I answered and pulled back to look at him. He cupped my face in his hands and pressed a big kiss on my forehead. “Go get your award!” he laughed, giving me small push as a start.

I laughed, still in disbelief, and looked around again, spotting the Russo’s who went to give me a big hug.

“You did it Y/N! You deserve this so much” they each said, and I whispered a Thank you back.

I finally turned back and slowly made my way up the stage, constantly looking towards the audience so that I could really take the moment in and never forget it. Turning to Anne, she held the Oscar in her hands and gave my a big smile, hugging me and saying, “Ugh you did amazing Y/N, you deserve this so much honey, congratulations!”

“Thank you so much, oh my gosh, you’ve literally been one of my idols ever since I was a kid.” I told her breathless.

“Aw you’re so sweet,” she laughed, “Go! You have about a minute to thank everyone.”

I went to the microphone and looked across the audience, spotting many celebrities who were still standing up and clapping for me, even when we hadn’t worked together. My eyes dashed to Tom, who was also wooing and cheering for me, and gave me a thumbs up, silently saying You got this, as had said to me many times before.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe it” I laughed in disbelief again, everyone still clapping for me. Soon, they settled and I continued “I can’t even-- let me catch my breath for second.” I stepped back a little and put my hands on my knees as if I’d just finished running a marathon, making the audience laugh a little.

I went back up, “You guys have absolutely no idea how much this means to me,” holding the Oscar a little higher, “I dreamt of this ever since I started to really get into acting and to actually have it in my hands is a dream come true. I wanna thank the Academy for this incredible honor. I honestly felt I won the moment I got nominated alongside these amazing and talented women,” I gestured to my fellow nominees who I could spot in the front rows. “When I say that you all deserve this award just as much as I do, I’m not kidding. Jennifer you have been such an icon to me ever since The Hunger Games and ohmygoshicantbelievethisisreal,” I quickly said with my hand near my mouth, earning a laugh from her and the audience, me joining them. “Emma and Anya your performances were ridiculously good and Taraji P. Henson I absolutely adore you.” They laughed once again, sending me kisses and smiles.

“A minute is not nearly enough to be able to thank everyone I wanna thank but I’ll do my best. Thank you to my amazing and incomparable directors Joe and Anthony Russo,” a wave of cheering ensued for them, “Thank you for trusting me with bringing this story to life, for guiding me along the way and never giving up on me even on the days when I was unbearable” I said with a small laugh. “Thank you to the screenwriters Angela and Jessica for writing this beautiful piece of work and to Nico Walker for telling his story and allowing us to bring it to the cinemas--cinemas? Wow, sorry I’ve been spending a lot of time with Tom so I’m starting to turn a little British” I chuckled and turned to look at him to find him laughing as well.

“Tom,” here it goes, “I have no words to express how grateful I am for you. You have been my rock and my best friend throughout this entire journey and for that I love you so much. Thanks for putting up with me and my craziness and sharing the good and bad days with me. There is no one I would rather have shared the screen with and I love you so so so much.” I said, from the bottom of my heart, and saw him tearing up while sending me a million kisses with his hands and mouthing I love you more. The audience awed and clapped once more.

“I also wanna thank Victoria- you beautiful woman- for taking me in and always believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself- aw you’re crying! Oop, sorry I’ll shut up, um-” I said as she waved her hand for me not to expose that she was crying, the theatre laughing at our banter, “Thank you Lizzie, Monica and all of my team, thank you to all of the cast and crew who made this happen.” I continued, moving to thank my family and more emotions hitting me like a truck again, feeling tears pool in my eyes. I shook my head and looked up so as to prevent them from falling.

“I- I’m not gonna cry, that’s stupid.” I said into the microphone but mostly to myself, everyone laughing and clapping once again in a comforting manner. “Sorry,” I laughed, “I’m gonna thank my family, but they unfortunately couldn’t make it here tonight so--” everyone awed in sadness, and I jokingly waved them off, “Oh shut up, whatever.” Another chorus of laughter, “I wanna thank my family all the way back home. You guys, you’re the best thing this life has given me and I’m eternally grateful for your support. Although, I did say that if I ever won an Oscar I wouldn’t thank you because you didn’t believe I could do this, l would not be able to forgive myself if I didn’t. Thank you for always being there for me and teaching me everything I know. For the unconditional love” my lip trembled, “and for showing me that you can do anything with hard work and passion. I love you--Please wrap up--sorry! Okay I’m going.” I nervously said. “I also wanna thank all of my friends for their support and finally I dedicate this award to all the girls out there with big dreams that scare you. Follow them, don’t let anyone stop you or tell you you’re not worthy because you sure as hell are destined for great things. Um, thank you so much!” I finished. The audience clapped and cheered and wooed once more and I gave them one final smile and amazed look, catching Tom’s eye and receiving a wink, then following Anne backstage where I would be taking pictures and answering questions.

I wonder how we’ll celebrate now that I’ve actually won...

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disclaimer: these are all fake names and fake movie titles i made up for the purpose of the fic

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland oneshot #tom holland fanfic #tom holland x actress!reader #actress!reader #oscars #tom holland fluff

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rhydium · 3 years

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fuck it starfinite drabble

its 12pm n i haven't slept, @ the two (2) other fans of these dumbasses come get yall juice ig ???? played around w/ a concept i had n figured i'll just ... post it. why not. this takes place in my android infinite au, pre-relationship!! u don't rly need context other than that tbh ((but feel free to ask me abt it i will gladly infodump))

cw: loss of limb (infinite's arm; it gets reattached), references to blood n stuff in the context of intrusive thoughts. please lmk if i need more!!

"what on earth were you thinking?" starline near shouts, his voice exasperated, shaky with adrenaline. he's angry and he's afraid and it's, it's stupid, really, he can fix this, but his hands tremble as he rummages through his toolbox, eyes darting over to infinite; missing their right arm, wires sparking, broken and it's sickening. he has to look away again. breathe.

"you can't keep... you — you're being too reckless!"

"i don't have much other choice." infinite says, so simply, so infuriatingly calm, so calm, such disregard for the fact they just had a limb blown off.

starline finds the last screwdriver he needs, but continues to sift around, poking and prodding and inspecting wrenches as if he's still looking for something. if he stops that means having to face this and he isn't ready — he needs to, but he can't.

"why?" he asks, ignoring the way his voice cracks, swallows the dry lump in his throat, "why, infinite?"

"is it really not obvious?"

starline grits his teeth, squeezes his eyes shut. his hands grip the edge of the box. "no!! it isn't!"

"i can be repaired. rebuilt. you can't. it's not that complicated. if one of us gets hit then logically it should be me."

his chest seizes as the words sink in, sink through his skin and down, down, down into his stomach like a stone; his gut churns and twists with guilt.

no... no, that's —

"that's stupid!" starline hisses. that self-sacrificing, idiotic...!

he whips around, locking eyes with infinite, don't look at their arm, don't look at it, don't look at the socket.

"don't speak like that. ever again."

whether it's his expression, his tone, infinite seems taken aback, almost appearing to flinch. they stare at him, frowning, though in a way more indicative of confusion than anger.

"like what?"

"like you're disposable!!"

...fuck.

there's a long moment of silence after starline's outburst. he pulls in a deep breath, pinches the bridge of his bill, averting his eyes to the floor, anywhere else, anywhere but infinite. he thinks about apologising — he shouldn't have yelled like that — but infinite is, this can't continue, they're being nonsensical, they keep endangering themselves, it can't.

"i... you just don't get it, do you?" he murmurs, shaking his head, running a hand through his hair. a small, strained laugh escapes his throat, voice thin. "do you have any idea how it makes me feel, watching you get hurt like this?? throwing yourself around like some kind of — like a living shield??"

he's not going to cry. starline is not about to cry.

"you... could have died." infinite says quietly. "all those times, and today, if i hadn't stepped in — for you those blows would have been life changing, if not fucking fatal. do you know how that makes me feel, star?! i can't let that happen. it's so easy to just, imagine you laying there, not moving, the blood, and..." their fingers — god, the ones they still have — twitch restlessly. infinite picks at their claws.

starline can hardly restrain the choked noise that fights its way out of him.

they're doing this for him, to protect him, this is all his —

"it's not your fault." infinite speaks firmly, as if sensing his thought process. "but objectively..." they wave a hand, sighing, "you know? this doesn't even hurt me."

"it hurts me." starline exhales through his nose wearily. "emotionally."

"i'd rather you be a bit emotionally distressed than dead," infinite scoffs softly, "let me repeat; the damage i take isn't permanent or painful. you, on the other hand, are one accident from being... i don't even want to imagine it."

"then what am i supposed to do?!"

"be more careful and i won't have to get involved." infinite shrugs.

starline groans.

"why does it bother you so much?"

"are you kidding?!"

the lack of response would point toward no, apparently.

"because i care about you, you absolute fool!"

infinite falters for a moment.

"...but. i'm not in pain. i can be fixed. what are you afraid of?"

starline gazes at them wordlessly.

i'm afraid one day i won't be able to fix you.

i'm afraid i'm going to lose you.

i'm terrified of losing you because i love you but you don't know that and you can't know that.

"...star?"

"i — look, forget it. i just, i don't want to talk about this anymore, i need to repair your arm."

"you're hiding something."

"aren't you perceptive..." starline can't help but mutter.

"are you okay?"

does it look like it?

"i'm fine."

"could at least put a little effort into it if you're going to lie." infinite mumbles.

"would you just...!" starline takes a deep breath. "be quiet. please."

infinite briefly opens their mouth as if preparing to protest, but ultimately falls silent. they look away, absently staring off at the far window.

starline grabs his tools. he just... has to focus on work. this will probably take a while, he realises. it's easily the most damage infinite has ever taken — at least during their time with him. he's worked with robotics a long time, but infinite is a highly advanced android, and they require extra care, presicion.

infinite's shoulder sparks again. they don't react.

"...you really don't feel anything, do you?"

infinite raises a brow.

oh. right. i told them not to talk.

they shake their head, and starline nods, uttering a quiet "sorry."

no reply.

"can i... start the repair?"

"...you're not just going to go ahead and do it?"

"no. never. listen, i've made habit of asking for your consent and i have no intention of breaking it. it's your body."

"...i don't mind."

"alright."

starline supresses a sigh and begins to tackle the rather daunting task of fixing up and reattaching infinite's lost arm, which has been laying motionless on the table for the past ten minutes. despite the lack of blood, absence of stench, as would be had if infinite was organic, it's still disturbing somehow. he shivers at the thought of dealing with dismembered flesh, of muscle and bone, and finds himself suddenly a lot more appreciative that infinite is an artificial being.

despite the knowledge infinite can't actually feel any of what he's doing, starline proceeds slowly, gently. regardless of whether they can feel it, their body deserves to be treated with respect. he fiddles with their wires delicately between his fingers, turns bolts and adjusts joints with only as much firmness as necessary, apologises when he has to snap certain supports back into place. now and then, he glances at infinite, who looks oddly tense, contemplative... uncertain.

"are you... uncomfortable?"

"what...? no, i... i told you i can't feel it, didn't i?" they say distantly.

"well — yes, but, what about mentally? are you alright...? do you want me to stop? i'm sorry that these procedures are so... invasive, and it probably, after —"

— no, no, what are you doing don't bring that up —

"...ah. nevermind."

infinite blinks, as if processing his words, and then their expression shifts in understanding.

"you're fine. i mean, this is.... i'm fine." they affirm.

"...okay."

"i mean it. it's... you're nothing like him."

there was once a time starline would have found such a statement insulting. nowadays, he can't be more relieved infinite thinks as such. he adjusts his glasses and continues tinkering away, figuring he won't get much else out of them, at least for now. whatever is on their mind, he'll let it be. the rest of the repair goes smoothly, time passing in a silence that is isn't uncomfortable, nor fully comfortable. he can't help but feel bad about the... was it an argument? he isn't sure, really. maybe that's what infinite was thinking about...?

as he wraps things up, closing the last panel on their forearm and preparing to request that infinite run through a few tests to make sure everything is working correctly, they finally speak; though it isn't anything starline was expecting them to say.

"you could destroy me," infinite utters softly, and they just kind of... look at him, something in their eyes that starline can't put a name to. "if you wanted to. you could rip me apart from the inside."

"i... guess i could." starline murmurs, his fingers lightly trailing over the panel, hidden beneath infinite's fur, the only sign of its existence being several small ridges and the bump of a screw head. "does that scare you?"

infinite smiles. "it's terrifying." they reply. "to allow myself to be so vulnerable... to — to want to let my guard down."

starline blinks in surprise.

to want to...? they want to let me in?

"then why...?" he tilts his head curiously. his hand stills, but lingers where it is.

infinite shrugs loosely. "it's you."

oh.

starline, don't you even think about it, that isn't what they mean...!

he clears his throat awkwardly.

"er... is that... supposed to explain it?"

"it's all i've got." infinite replies. the small quirk of their lips broadens a bit, and they chuckle. "sorry."

...starline finds himself smiling back.

god, he's tired, the past hour has been immeasurably draining, but... this, this makes it all worth it. seeing them like that... it lifts all the stress, the anxiety. he feels lighter.

"thank you."

"huh?"

"for trusting me. i know it... must take a lot."

infinite shifts their hand — the one that hadn't been damaged — and hesitantly, very slowly reaches over. they look between starline's hand still resting on their inner arm, just above the wrist, starline's eyes, his hand again, and starline goes to withdraw — but before he can do so, infinite places their own over it.

"thank you." they whisper. "for treating me kindly. for treating me like... a person."

starline's breath catches in his throat. oh god, he cannot mess this up. infinite never — they never initiate contact like this, ever. he can't scare them away, he knows it's difficult for them to be touched, let alone how much faith they're showing in him to touch, and he will not squander all their progress. nothing will ruin this moment.

"you are one."

"...i care about you too, star."

"i — what?"

"you said earlier that you cared about me. i care about you too," they elaborate, a flicker in their eyes, this time something starline recognises, as quickly as it's hidden again; fondness. a very specific kind of fondness that... no — he isn't sure if he's imagining this or not. he has to be. surely, he's making it up. wishful thinking, seeing what one wants to.

"...a lot. more than you know." infinite finishes.

starline gazes into their eyes steadily, searching, trying to find it again. infinite stares back, almost like they're looking for something, too. oh, how easy it would be; to lean down, move in, to kiss them, but starline is not going there. he has no confirmation infinite likes him like, well, that and, it would be far too fast even if they did. not to mention he certainly wouldn't do it without asking.

"...you're hiding something too, aren't you?" starline settles for asking vaguely.

infinite's eyes widen slightly, then glitter mysteriously, amused.

"aren't you perceptive?"

#jackal.txt #my writing #can u tell i had no idea where i was going w/ this or how to end it lmfao #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #edited as of 24/02 to remove the term crippled and reword infinite's dialogue regarding fear of star becoming disabled #i had no idea crippled can be taken as a slur and i also don't want this to come from a perspective that sounds like being disabled would be #the worst most tragic horrible thing. rather infinite just does not want star to wind up hurt!! bc of course you'd never want someone tht #you love to go through that. i really hope i articulated this properly and i apologise if it was insensitive and poor taste

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kkaebsongtypo · 3 years

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01 | m.l | next

why wont you love me // hrj [02]

pairing: renjun x reader

genre: friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, slight angst

wanings/notes: alcohol consumption (all parties are of legal age, drink responsibly!), mentions/symptoms of anxiety, mentions/signs of abandonment issues, jealousy, inspired by the song Why Won't You Love Me by 5sos

(warnings/notes are subject to change and updates if needed.)

word count: 2.1k

Renjun and y/n are an inseparable pair; they know each other like the back of their own hands. For the most part. Renjun keeps his true feelings hidden; y/n refuses to acknowledge their own. Both hold the fear of losing each other. But will one night out and a little too much to drink change everything?

a/n: hello part two is f i n a l l y here- sorry for the super long wait ;-; lmk if you want to be in a taglist ^-^

A week without Renjun and the boys proved to be a lot more difficult than you expected. On any other day, a normal day, you would have Renjun or Jisung on video call to keep you company whilst doing your work, cleaning the house, or just any other task. On any other day, you’d have a few of the boys lounging around your apartment, studying, doing project work, playing video games, spending their time in the comfort of your tidy home if they needed to get away from their own. Most of the time, it didn’t even feel like you lived alone.

Needless to say, with your main group of friends away on their trip, you were bored. With the boys doing their own trip activities, it was hard to get a normal, lengthy video call in. Procrastination was one of your biggest enemies in the deafening silence of your empty apartment. Without the company of your friends occupying your phone, and your current lack of self control, you were sprawled out on your bed scrolling through Instagram, your essay long forgotten.

You sat up abruptly when you opened Renjun’s story and were greeted with a photo of him and a shorter girl wrapped in his arms. Your chest tightened and at their bright smiles. You chewed on your bottom lip as you stared at the photo, the strange sensation in your chest growing. After a few seconds, you decided to close the app, the feeling (which, you concluded to be anxiety) building inside of you became overwhelming very quickly. You placed your phone face down on your bed and slowly laid back against the covers. You stared blankly at your ceiling and drummed your fingers on your bedsheets and chest.

A ding sounded from your phone and your hand flew to grab it. You hesitated to look at the screen though, unsure if you were hoping it was from Renjun or not. Ten seconds passed, and after a deep breath, you look at the message. A sigh fell from your lips when you read the contact name. It was from Jisung. You couldn’t tell if you were relieved or disappointed that it wasn’t Renjun as the anxiety in your chest continued to swirl.

bby chick <3: Are you busy rn bby chick <3: Can u vc bby chick <3: I miss you :(

You felt a pang of guilt for feeling slightly disappointed as you read the younger boys messages. You truly did miss him as well. The situation prior to his messages simply threw you off and into a frenzy of other feelings. Your fingers typed a response quickly.

: I miss you too :( : and no I am not busy, call me <3

It took no longer than 5 seconds for a video call from Jisung to pop up. After a deep breath to push down the previous discomfort within you, you put on a small smile and answered the call. The sight of Jisung’s face lighting up instantly when you appeared on his screen made your smile become more real, the photo of Renjun and that girl being pushed aside for the time being.

“Hii y/n!!” Jisungs voice was lively and excited. The setting sun shone a warm glow on him and the hotel wall. He waved to you, and you waved back.

“Hey Sunggie, how are you doing?” You asked. He didn’t hesitate to respond.

“I’m good, the guys and I miss you tons though! How are you?” Your chest tightened when he returned the question. It always broke your facade at times like this.

“I’m- I’m uh… yeah, I’m good.” Your feeble attempt at seeming okay was unconvincing as hot tears rolled down your cheeks with each blink. The uncomfortable feeling in your chest returned and your breathing quickened. Though your vision was blurred, you noticed Jisung’s expression fall into one of shock and panic.

“Wha- what’s wrong? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” He stuttered, reaching towards the camera as if trying to reach directly to you. You wiped your cheeks frantically with your sleeves and sniffled, a pathetic laugh falling from your lips.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Nothing is wrong, Ji, don’t worry-” Jisung cut you off gently. Tears continued to fall from your eyes involuntarily.

“Y/n… please don’t lie to me… you’re clearly not fine…” Your chest tightened more at the sadness in his voice. He didn’t like seeing you upset, it made him sad seeing his friend in distress. You tried to dry your tears again, but it was no use. With a quiet sigh of frustration, you ran your hand through your hair. There was no use in trying to lie again, your feelings were impossible to hide at this point.

“I- ugh. Yeah, you’re right. I’m not really okay- I’m sorry.” You looked down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers. Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at your apology.

“No!! Don’t be sorry!” He exclaimed. You glanced up at him and slouched further into yourself. Silence filled both of your rooms. You didn’t know what to say. You were embarrassed; your fear of being abandoned was consuming every bit of you with each passing second the longer you stayed in your head. Abandonment issues weren’t something you’ve ever talked about with any of your friends, there was never a reason to. Not until you saw that photo of Renjun.

The silence stayed for what felt like an eternity of being stuck in your own thoughts on a loop. No matter how many times you tried to tell yourself that Renjun would never just drop you out of the blue, the anxiety just pushed back. Part of you says “he wouldn’t.” but the other part of you fights back with “but he could.” It was a never ending loop; spiraling into yourself with no end in sight. Jisung snapped you out of your thoughts with a question that caused your cheeks to burn with anxiety.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You chewed on your bottom lip and tried to sort your thoughts before speaking. Tears began forming in the corners of your eyes again and they fell down your still damp cheeks when you blinked.

“It’s- ahh. It’s just- that photo of Renjun and that girl. It’s like, stupid but I think it was just anxiety saying like ‘oh Renjun found someone new he doesn’t love me anymore’ kind of-” The string of words fell from you lips quickly and in a mess, your insecurities growing and getting the best of you. Your voice cracked and you sniffled before taking a shaky breath and rubbing your eyes, giving Jisung the opportunity to speak. He was hesitant at first, his voice wavering slightly; he wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

“Hey- um- breathe for a second. Can you, uhm, can you show me the photo?” You nodded and picked up your phone to open Instagram. A feeling of dread grew in your chest and stomach as your finger hovered over Renjun’s story. With a deep sigh, you opened the story, the photo popping up on your screen. You stared at Renjun’s smile for a second before tapping on the small paper airplane icon and sending it to Jisung. You waited quietly as Jisung opened Instagram to see the image. You laid on your back and positioned your phone next to you so the boy could still see you when he returned to the call.

While you were swimming in your own variety of conclusions, Jisung stared at the photo you had just sent, unsure of his next words. He ran his hands over his face and through his hair, knowing that he could potentially make you feel even worse in one way or another.

“Y/n- oh my goodness. Okay- that’s not- that’s like Renjun’s second cousin. We just met her today!” You stared at your ceiling as Jisung returned to the video call.

“I… are you serious? Oh my gosh.” You groaned, tears beginning to fall faster again. Jisung frowned and furrowed his eyebrows, still hating to see you so upset.

“Yeah! Please don’t cry.” Jisung tried to comfort you as best as he could through a tiny screen. You sniffled and whipped the tears from your face, only for more to fall. He sighed softly, feeling slightly helpless.

“Look, even if that wasn’t his relative, I can assure you that all of us love you and we would never just up and leave you for anyone else. Renjun especially. y/n he…” He paused for a second, trying to pick his words cautiously to avoid exposing any secrets that weren’t his.

“You’re his best friend. He, of all people, would never, ever do that to you.” Your tears began to slow as you listened to Jisung, taking in everything he said. The external rationalization was reassuring, but the ache from the idea of losing Renjun continued to loom deep in your chest.

“I know that your anxiety clouds your judgement sometimes but if I can do anything to help at any time, please let me know.” He paused for a second, quickly realizing that you were keeping quiet.

“But if you can’t talk to me for whatever reason, try to remember what I just said.” You sighed softly. Jisung was really trying, and even though your thoughts continued to run wild, you were grateful for his efforts.

“Thank you, Ji. I really appreciate it. I’m sorry for all that; it was just a huge scare about my best friend leaving me over what turned out to be nothing.” You rolled your eyes at yourself. You jumped to conclusions and got upset over a misunderstanding; you felt foolish. Jisung perked up and was quick to validate your feelings.

“Oh! No, please don’t feel like you need to say sorry for feeling.” He frowned at you and played with his fingers. You pursed your lips and looked down at your lap. Silence lingered for a couple seconds before Jisung spoke up again.

“Um, okay. I’m sorry of this is a dumb question, but like- are you sure that was the only reason for your reaction..?” The question made you tilt your head and bring your eyebrows together in slight confusion.

“Uh? Yes? What do you mean?” Jisung turned away and scratched the back of his neck.

“Ah like, I dunno. The use of best friend- I mean like, are you sure you aren’t like, jealous?” Jisung turned his head down slightly, looking up at you with a careful gaze, nibbling the inside of his lip. Your eyes widened and you blinked a few times. Your lips parted to speak and you raised your eyebrows, but the words got caught in your throat. Why is this so hard to answer? You furrowed your brows for a second, regaining your composure enough to form some sort of coherent sentence.

“Oh- well I mean I guess maybe?? But no. What?? He’s my best friend and he’ll always be my best friend.” You tripped over your words as they came out in a mess. Your heart sped up and your cheeks warmed slightly. What is happening?? Jisung furrowed his eyebrows and tugged at his fingers as words began falling from his lips.

“Right- I’m sorry-” He started to panic, but you cut him off softly before he could ramble an apology.

“It’s fine Jisung, don’t worry about it.” You sent him a small, half smile. He chewed on his bottom lip and averted his gaze. Without letting the guilt-filled silence linger, you sighed and clapped your hands together.

“Enough about this stuff. Tell me more about the trip, what have you been up to?” You smiled softly. Jisung looked at you hesitantly and you nodded; an attempt at reassuring him. He took a second and raised his eyebrows before breaking into a smile.

“Well, the day after we arrived we just sort of slept in, but in the afternoon we went into the city...” You smiled as enthusiasm filled his eyes again, but his voice became mere background noise as you got lost in your thoughts once more. Jisung’s previous question coming back and lingering in your mind; “are you sure that was the only reason for your reaction?”

Renjun is my best friend. I don’t want anything more.

You did your best to shake it from consuming you, wanting to focus on Jisung instead. But the tiniest voice in the back of your mind repeated in a loop, Renjun is my best friend. I don’t want anything more. Right?

Taglist: @lolibaaae @currentlyraisinghell

a/n: let me know if you want to be part of a tag list ^-^

disclaimer: updates will be stagnant. thank you for understanding :)

#neowritingsnet #thank you for reading!!#fic: why won't you love me #tw: anxiety #nct dream fluff #huang renjun #nct #nct dream #huang renjun fluff #nct fluff #huang renjun angst #nct angst #nct dream angst #huang renjun scenario #nct scenario #nct dream scenario #huang renjun imagine #nct imagine #nct dream imagine

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sweetiejunie · 4 years

Text

Txt reaction to a curvy s/o who's insecure about how they look

(Or just insecure about their looks in general)

Genre: fluff

💕Request: can i request? txt dating curvy s/o who's so insecure because they're dating txt? thank you! no pressure if you don't wanna do it! :>

=====================================

Perfect

He never really thought you meant it when you said you hated the way you looked. He always thought you had a perfect figure, with curves in all the right places. But in actual fact, you were so paranoid that you constantly had eyes on you. Any time you said something about your appearance, you always played it off by laughing afterwards, making everyone think it was a joke. And you never really compared yourself to others, so he didn’t think it was anything serious or something you actually meant.

That was until one day, if finally clicked and he couldn’t believe all that time, your laugh that he loved so much, was just to cover up your true insecurities. You were perfect in his eyes and couldn’t figure out how you couldn’t see yourself they way he did.

—.*•—

Yeonjun

He had always thought your fashion sense was cute

A big baggy tshirt or hoodie paired with either shorts or jeans, depending on the weather

But it wasn’t until one day, he wanted to bring you out for a fancy dinner and suggested that maybe you could wear that dress you had bought, but never wore

No doubt, he would have loved you in anything you wore. You could have worn a potato sack and he would have thought it was the latest fashion trend

But he just really wanted to see you in something different, to push you out of your comfort zone and try something new

The moment he suggested that, he felt your body language change, you became more defensive, hesitating to answer him

“I’m sorry... did i say something wrong? I didn’t mean to insult you in any way, i just thought you would want to try something new....”

“No, no. Yeonjun, you did nothing wrong. It’s... a me problem.”

He was confused by your statement

What did you mean a ‘you’ problem. He couldn’t think of a single problem you could be referring to

And that’s when you admitted how insecure you actually were about how you looked

While you spoke, yeonjun felt his heart break. How could he have been so blind?

Interrupting you mid sentence, he just pulled you in for a hug

“Baby, you look absolutely amazing. It’s such a privilege for me to have such a beautiful person next to me. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

—.*•—

Soobin

Side note: bruh, have you seen how snatched this boy’s waist is???? He probably has a nicer waist than me what even???? He has height and a bloody nice figure howwwww 💀. Ok note over anywaysss moving on

He had came home early and saw you standing in front of the mirror

Your eyes constantly running up and down, like you were analysing yourself

He would stand there for a while, watching your actions

It didn’t him long to figure out what you were thinking but he couldn’t understand why

His heart cracked at the thought of it

Coming up behind you, he hugged you, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him

The suddenness made you jump, to which he chuckled lightly

“Princess, what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t lie to me. I saw you earlier.”

You just looked at the ground, too afraid to look him in the eyes, even if it was just through his reflection

You had been caught and all this time you didn’t want him to find out how insecure you really were

You couldn’t place that burden on his shoulders

“You know you’re beautiful right?” He suddenly spoke

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice earlier. I’m sorry I don’t compliment you enough, for you to still think this way.”

And from then on, he made it a habit to remind you how much he loved just you the way you are and made sure you knew it

—.*•—

Beomgyu

He wanted to spoil you, bringing you out shopping for the day

The only catch was that he could choose something for you to try on and you couldn’t reject it

You agreed, expecting him to choose something stupid or ugly as a joke like he always did

But instead, today he chose a dress for you. And not just any dress. A fitted, halter neck dress that showed off every curve and every insecurity you had

He waited outside the fitting room you were in, eager for you to open to door in his pick of the day and for him to gush over how amazing you looked

But the moment you opened the door, he saw you wrapping your arms around yourself, as if you were trying to hide yourself

Avoiding eye contact with him as you looked to the side

“What’s wrong, pumpkin? Is the dress uncomfortable?”

He asked, taking a step closer to you so he could gently rub your arms

“Pumpkin?” He nudged when you didn’t respond

“I just... dont like how it looks on me...”

“What?” He chuckled lightly, and that’s when he realised, all those jokes you always made, weren’t actually joke.

He just hugged you, staying like that until he felt you physically relax. He couldn’t fathom how you didn’t see yourself the way he did

“Y/n... you’re look stunning. I really need to start telling that to you more, huh? Now let’s get you out of this dress.”

—.*•—

Taehyun

Taehyun always loved to playfully roast you

He knew that if he ever went too far you would let him know

He would always say things like “i guess it looks okay on you” but all in good fun, just to tease you

In actual fact, he thought anything you worse looked great, he just didn’t want to seem too enthusiastic about it, it wasn’t in his character to act that way

And you would always laugh or playfully hit him when he made such comments

So he knew you didn’t take them seriously

One day, he saw you trying on a new outfit you bought and said the same banter he always did

But today, you didn’t laugh, instead you walked out and locked yourself in another room

It stunned him at first. But not long after, you heard a soft knock on the door

A timid taehyun, poking his head through, looking like a kicked puppy

“Y/n? I’m sorry if i went too far... please don’t be mad at me...”

“No, I’m not mad taehyun. It’s alright.” The sight broke your heart. You never meant to hurt him

“Then what is it? Tell me, so that I dont do it again, please?”

So u invited him to sit next to you while you explained the entire situation to him

In that moment, his heart sank, did all the jokes he had made just make things worse?

He would never want to make you feel that way about yourself

He held you close, apologising a thousand times before he finally let go

—.*•—

Huening Kai

He never found the jokes you made insulting yourself funny, cause to he didn’t know what you were talking about, you were perfect

But as long as they were just jokes, he didn’t care all that much

That day, you had gone over to the dorm to visit the boys and Kai was being extra cuddly and affectionate that day

Not that you hated it, you just weren’t feeling comfortable in your skin that day

He laid his head on your lap as you sat on the couch, his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly

But feeling you start to shift, he was forced to let go and sit up

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” you lied

“Come here, i want to cuddle.”

You were hesitant to answer, and that lead to Kai’s suspicions

“I’m just not feeling great today, kai.”

“You sure that’s the reason? You shouldn’t lie.”

You knew he had already figured it out the real reason. So there was no use hiding it now

You told him everything and kai just sat there, listening to each word you said

When you were done he said, “you always look so, so lovely. And remind me to never let you make those jokes about yourself ever again.”

His arms went back around your waist, his head resting on you shoulder, “I think you’re the perfect size for cuddles.”

=====================================

Thanks for the request!!! Send in any others you may have and lmk if you enjoyed this!! ❣️

Masterlist

#txt fanfic #txt reactions #txt fluff #txt imagines #txt post #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun fluff #soobin fanfic #soobin fluff #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fluff #taehyun fanfic #taehyun fluff #hueningkai fanfic #hueningkai fluff #txtnetwork #txt x reader

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mrsmaybankhere · 4 years

Text

bury a love

i wanted this to be a very short one, but this is a serious topic and i really wanna get it down and be happy with it.

the idea of this fic it was that girls can also be the toxic ones in relationships. we are used to see fics with the man (JJ in this case) being the toxic one, but this has no gender at all. pleaseeee, understand that toxic doesn’t always mean getting beaten up!!!

and that friendships can also be veryy toxic!!!

anyway, hope you like it and lmk your true opinions on it!!

love youu the most xx

words: 2.3k

warnings: alcohol, drugs abuse, overdose, toxic behaviour, toxic relationship (if you are in one, please get out of it, you deserve better!!!)

***not my gif, credits to the owner of it!!!***

JJ knew that lately there was something wrong with you. Beside you dating Rafe's kook ass. You were still you, you were still his best friend [Y/N]. But in the same time you weren't.

You talked the same, you still made the same lame jokes. You still had a low tolerance to alcohol and you were still the cutest girl he ever met when you were drunk, making some adorable faces after throwing up for hours.

But JJ was the only one who noticed that you didn't smiled the same. You just did it with your mouth while your eyes remained empty and sad. He also noticed how you always wanted to get shitfaced. You wouldn't miss a opportunity to get wasted on alcohol. Always alcohol. Like you wanted to escape from something.

Or someone.

But he didn't do anything about it. He was still mad at you for dating Rafe and even if he knew that he acted childish and that he can't control you, he couldn't help himself. The girl of his dreams being in love with his enemy. Kissed and touched by him when JJ should be in his place.

He wanted to tell you about his feeling so many times before. He almost told you once.

And that one almost is tearing him apart now.

When Kie told them that you didn't answered her calls and texts all day, he cursed under his breath and said something like "she's probably too busy actin' like a kook" and he was sure that you will get at the Chateau later with that fake ass smile on your lips with a new gold bracelet. Or a new expensive custom surf board. But you didn't and you didn't answered to the phone. Until...

He was looking at your name again. He wated to see your name blowing up his phone all day long with texts and memes and funny photos of you.

He told myself that he will stop calling you. It's been hours so it was clearly that you didn't wanna talk to any of them.

But he pushed his luck.

And you picked up after just one second.

"[Y/N]?" He whispers and you finally answering left him a bit speechless. "Are you okay? Som-..."

He only heard a deep breath before you hang up the phone.

That's was when he decided to get over your ass and let you come around and now he realized how much he shouldn't.

They went fishing that day. They've been swimming, drinking beer and even catching some fish they will definitely have later for dinner. Kie and Pope got up from the boat, holding the empty bottles of beer while JJ and John B were right behind them, tying up the boat and getting the fish.

"Sarah? What happened? You told me you were busy, but-..." John B rushed to the backyard when he heard the name of his girlfriend. He was worried for her all afternoon.

"Are you okay, Sarah? Look at me. What's wrong?" John's hands are cupping her wet cheeks, but her crying is out of control and JJ's anxiety is getting at him in that moment. Right there he felt that something wasn't good and that it was about you. He felt a pain in his heart and the next few words proved him right.

"[Y/N] she is-...She's in the hospital. She had an overdose."

Overdose.

That night while holding your hand right next your hospital bed, he's still thinking about it. He...They didn't even know you've been doing cocaine. He never saw on you the same effects he saw on his father, but people are different towards it. He looked at the big bouquet of red roses placed on the nightstand next to your bed and he knew that Rafe was here.

And of course he was. You are his girlfriend after all. And you ending up almost dead is only his stupid fault. This is another almost that broke him into tears. Almost losing you before he even had you.

He kicked the flowers vase down with his fist, the glass cutting his knuckles, but it wasn't the first time anyway. But it was the first time when the pain in his heart is even bigger than usual, when he felt that he lost all the air from his lungs and that he can't bare looking at you anymore. He realized just now how much you hurt him over the past few months.

It was you who hurt him the most in the world.

Not his mother for leaving him.

Not his father for beating him for every shit.

No. It was you the one who really broke down his heart.

And later the next day when you finally woke up, they were there with you. Kie, Pope, John B, Sarah and of course JJ. Your parents were the firsts to hug you and you cried in their arms, looking more fragile than ever. You looked haggard and with very pale skin and big dark circles around you bloodshot eyes, JJ almost didn't recognized you. Drugs changed you. Rafe changed you.

Another almost that made him tear up right there in the same room with your friends and your parents.

After assuring them that you feeling alright and after drinking a lot of water, you finally actually looked at your friends. You still had tears in your beautiful, but empty eyes and when you locked yours with JJ's he couldn't bare it, so he quickly looked away. No one said anything, they all just sat there in front of your bed feeling awkwardly.

"I'm sorry...God I'm so sorry guys." You burst into tears again and Sarah and Kie are the first to come closer to you, grabbing your fragile body into a hug while the both of them are also crying.

"Why you didn't talked to us? Maybe we could have helped you."

"You didn't had to do through this alone." Sarah said while caressing your hair. She swore she will kill Rafe for doing this to you.

She wasn't alone, JJ thought but didn't said anything out loud.

"I tried to stop it. I tried to numb it with alcohol...To stop the cravings. But I guess-...I guess at some point I give up trying. I didn't wanted to stop anymore."

John B and Pope didn't know what to say, but they also had tears in their eyes while looking at you. It was a weird feeling to be happy that you come out of it alive.

"You still have us, okay? We will you get through this together."

"Yes. I did a lot of research and-..." Pope started talking a lot like he usually does and you smiled a bit. That smile warmed JJ up and he hated it. And then you looked at him while being hugged by the others, but not him.

"You hate me that much, JJ?" You ask with a lower raspy voice and you feel your whole head spinning around the room, but somehow you can see his disappointed face very easily. Your eyes are wet again, but you try your best to not let another tears out.

He didn't answered your question and he clearly avoided your glare. After another group hug without him the others let you two alone and he didn't said anything fro a while, so you were the one talking first.

"You can't even look at me?" You ask with a sad smile and you shift a little in the uncomfortable bed, a cannula in your right hand. JJ had a grin on his face, a mischievous one.

"I can't." He spat at you. "I can't because I don't even know you fucking are anymore. Because [Y/N] that I know...My [Y/N]...Would never do cocaine to please Rafe Cameron."

"What are you talking about?" You frown and you try your best to talk normal, but your bottom lip is shacking and you can feel tears in the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision of the angry blond in front of you. "It's not like that, J and-...And I'm still your [Y/N]. I realized too late that I need real help, but I'm still me."

"So you wanna tell me that Rafe didn't know about this shit? How fucking stupid do you think I am?" He's screaming in your face right now, not giving a fuck that you are in a hospital. He already fought the security once. "Don't lie to me. At least at the end of it, be fucking honest."

"The end of what?" You try to get up from the bed and you eventually do it after clenching your teeth to ignore the pain you feel in your whole body at every move. JJ felt the need to help you out when he saw you struggling, but he had enough control in himself to not touch you. You don't deserve him helping you after doing him so dirty, after breaking his heart. "I don't wanna lose you, J. I am in love with you. Not with Rafe. Not anyone else, ple-...Please."

He froze for a few seconds. You said these words like you really meant them. That was everything he wanted to hear in the past few months.

"It's too late, [Y/N]. You don't fucking get it?"

Your whole heart shattered into tiny pieces and you face fell at his words. What did you do?

"JJ, you can't do that. We are best friends, we've always been...Since third grade we've been always together. Me, you and John B. We were...We were always like this." You gulp down on your words, barely able to speak anymore with salty tears all over your face and falling on your lips too. "I didn't tell you...Because I didn't wanna ruined it."

"And that's exactly what you did." He whispered with a sad smile and tears in his beautiful icy blue eyes. When you looked into his eyes, you felt safe and loved and appreciated. But now they are your own hell, bringing back memories of you two being happy together everyday from dusk untill dawn. How can you live without him in your life? Him mad at you was better than not having him at all. "Tell me..." He looked down a bit and then back in your eyes. "Why were you with him if you-...If you were in love with me?" He never stutter while talking, but now he just did because of you and the huge power you have over him.

You didn't know how to answer to it. You just bit on your tongue until you felt blood all over your mouth and said the truth. The awful ugly truth.

"It was easier because he was in love with me...And I wasn't. So this way-...This way I won't get hurt."

JJ ran his hands over his blond messed hair and chuckled a little. Years of friendship were wasted because she was scared of love. Because she only wanted to be loved and not give anything back. He can't even look at her anymore. She just became pure evil in his eyes.

"JJ, please. Give me a change to make it up to you...To all of you. I'm so sorry. What do you want me to do now? I'll do anything for you to-...To forgive me." You started speaking a lot, feeling agitated at the thought of losing your best friend for good. You always loved JJ and there was always something more between the two of you, but you were smart enough to realize that JJ felt it too and you were dumb enough to take him from granted all this time while you played with him and Rafe. All your life no one really showed you any kind of affection, so you became desparte for it and you didn't mind being loved. But now it was about JJ...He was there every damn time and now when you realize that he's not gonna be anymore, you are on the edge of losing your mind.

He bit on his lips, a way of showing of stressed he felt in that moment and when you tried to grab his hands, he pushed yours away and take a step towards the door but your eyes are still locked.

"They already did forgive you. Maybe some day I will too, but-..."

"No, please. Don't do this." You shook your head, wanting to believe that none of this is actually real and you were desparte to keep him there a little more, to talk it out, but he gently pushed you away. He wouldn't hurt you.

"But I don't want you in my life anymore. You hurt me enough." Another round of tears traveled his cheeks down to his chin. "We are done, [Y/N]. I hate myself because I know I will always love you and-..." JJ broke is own heart a little more by saying this to you when everything he wanted to do was kissing you and holding you at his chest. It was hard, probably the hardest thing he ever did. "And if you-...If you ever cared about me, if you really love me...You will let me go."

You closed your eyes, wanting to end everything right in that moment. "Say it." You heard him say, but you shook your head. "Promise me you will let me go. For good. Do it." He kept pushing you and when you opened your eyes, you saw him crying just as hard as you.

You raise your hand and he does the same and you catch your pinkies together.

"Pinky promise?" He said and you know that this is gonna be the last time you would do something you did since you were just children. Nothing ever felt as hard as this is.

"Pinky promise."

And for the first time ever he saw pure love in your eyes; you were looking at him in the same way he used to look at you when you turned around.

But now he's the one turning around with you deep buried inside his chest.

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luvrbug · 4 years

Note

Obey me Bros, if all are to much u can pick who! With an MC whose so close to relapsing and self harming and they are very scared and don't know what to do. Sorry if it's to triggering, I know u said you'd write it but please don't push yourself out make yourself uncomfortable for others benefit ♥️

its completely okay :)! If you are struggling with these thoughts, please reach out. i chose beelzebub, Lucifer, and asmodeus! lmk if you want some other characters or undatables:)

Trigger warning; Mentions of sh

Lucifer

When you first reached out to him, his heart broke. What had been provoking that behavior? Could he make it better?

He requests to see you in his office, and when you arrive he is seated at his desk, holding a little.... teddy bear? or the devildom's equivalent.

He explains to you that if you need anything- and yes, he means absolutely anything- to call him. He never wants to see you hurt, and will do anything in his power to make it better.

Asmodeus

Self care day. Now. No argument. No matter what is happening, there will be a self care day whenever you feel an urge.

Diavolo has summoned you? Self care day is more important.

He doesn't know how to approach it directly, but that doesn't mean he won't help in every way possible. It hurts him to see you in pain, mentally or physically.

He will never judge any marks left by sh. Your body is still beautiful to him, no matter what the skin looks like. He loves every little part, and nothing will change that.

Beelzebub

When you first told him, he was understanding. He'd told you about how his thoughts strayed to that too, sometimes.

He always takes you out to eat whenever you have an urge. he paces himself with eating so he can talk to you, soothing any worries or just saying nonsense.

He always makes time for you. Nothing will stop him from spending time with you, ever.

Requests are currently open! Drop by if you wanna :)

#lucifer obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me x reader #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub x reader #lucifer x reader #asmodeus x reader #cw self harm #cw sh #tw self harm

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gryphsdeadbones · 4 years

Note

hey from one nd person to another the comic where fm gordon says a slur seems kind of in poor taste. ik ur not intentionally making light of it and tht occurring in fm should be criticized but while you dont make it out to be a good thing making jokes about it and calling him a "slurboy" is kind of questionable? it makes it seem more like a plotpoint and angst rather than the creator of fm genuinely fucking up in the past (and having moved on from it)! i think exploring fm coming to terms with being nd is a good idea but this isnt the best way to do it. if you want me to explain my point more lmk if/when u post this and i will! someone already made a post abt it but it was kinda strongly worded and i wanted to approach you more calmly because i genuinely dont want to call you out or start drama or anything ;-;

first off thank you for being civil and patient with me i appreciate this ask a lot- also this got long- im not in a flying rage or anything when i bold or emphasis text, i just needed it also for my own readability and since im not the best at wording- hopefully this hellsite works and my response is under the cut

i would like to know how is it in poor taste when freemind explicitly gets clocked at the very end for saying it. the entire point of the comic was to show that saying the r slur has existed in his source and is bad

im not sure how much more direct i can get, with the disclaimer/warning list growing longer and longer and out there for a huge sign that says “this au can get dark as fuck and these subject matters are treated seriously/not something to mess around with.” Like yes, there are some jokes in the asks and other comics, but that specific comic is not supposed to be “haha thats funny”. it has a serious tone using a rough sketch style bc i was super tired and wanted to vent

was it just the direct reference to it that just made people uncomfortable? because thats 100% understandable, and i made sure i tagged it appropriately (although admittedly, a little bit late since i thought the filter would catch at least the main thing)

i think what some people somehow got from it is “exploring sensitive content = endorsing said content” which! that is not the intent! i absolutely do not want people saying that word! I don’t want people thinking that is any way okay for this character to say

its more of a damned if i do address it, damned if i dont.

if it never comes up, people are gonna assume that ‘oh this character says slurs and is shit, surely the creator or fan-creator MUST be okay with it and woobifies freemind and absolves him of any mistakes’ or something like that. no. this asshole has an arc and i want to do it right. its serious and i think it shouldn’t be shoved under the rug

and people just. dont want to read for context for whatever reason. theyll start watching it and get taken aback by the slur and start blaming me ‘hey you never warned for this’ when very early on i keep mentioning over and over ‘you dont have to watch it if you dont want to! This has slurs and 2000s internet brand humor/style’ You really dont, I’m not forcing you to watch it- Literally all you need to know is either canon half life or hl/vrai. thats it. fm mostly follows hl1 with very slight changes.

so i had to make something that:

1. warns people who arent aware and dont want to go through my asks or about/warning pages (for whatever reason) and just want to see the art

2. also NOT downplay freemind’s canon assholery. listen, i kinda despise writing mean and cruel characters, theyre hard to do, and a lot of people get shit for doing it wrong or people going “character = author”

i’ve also considered leaving the bubbles blank, but then people could fill it with whatever they want, then blame me for being vague. or they’d fill it in with a different kind of slur that freemind has never used, even if he MIGHT be the type to do that. I needed to explicitly mention that it is ableist slur. There are shitty racist and other problematic jokes, but never those kinds of extreme racial slurs to my knowledge.

Although I do see your point that maybe joking about it outside of the serious stuff might not be the best route. The slurboy jokes are getting stale, and I will try a better way to remind people.

The thing that gets to me is that it feels people are more than ready to defend either Ross Scott or Gordon Freeman the fictonal character himself. I don’t??? really care for Ross Scott, so I don’t know if he’s ever brought it up specifically. I’m not really calling him out or cancelling him. Idc for some white man’s feelings, im only bringing the timeframe of That era and reworking it to fit in This current era.

And I hate to break it to people: Gordon Freeman is a blank slate character, you can project whatever the hell you want on him as long as it’s not freakshit illegal garbage. The machinimas (fm, hl/vrai) do have SOME characterization that I want to nail down. It fucking sucks when characters are ooc, and I’m trying not to do that, even if it means sacrificing some comfort. But still mostly staying in my comfort zone if that makes sense

Now about the callout that I do not want to engage with the op directly:

Honestly im very surprised the comic was called out when i just. thought my stuff is relatively tame on exploring the bad shit canon freemind does. ive seen him in fancontent where they really dont hold back and its still played off as ‘kinda funny’ tone.

I really don’t know if people just want any reason to hate me for whatever reason. That’s fine I guess, I can’t please everyone and they dont have to like me.

But like. isn’t it so much easier for the op of that to block me and the post and move on. Why kick up such a fuss. I can see that thinly veiled death threat of a vague. That’s pretty fucked up- Like holy fucking god, you do not have to like my stuff. I’m not holding you at knifepoint to like my stuff. I’ve specifically made two different tags (one general au, one specific au) if anyone wants to blacklist it for their own reasons I do not need to know. I don’t want to know.

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable. You’re allowed to unfollow/blacklist/block.

However you just don’t go ranting about it for something you horribly misinterpreted. If it bothers you so badly, literally just. drop me a message to clarify. thats it. or save yourself the time and block me.

I’ve blocked the op for both our sakes, but if anyone wants to send this post to them, then thats fine. I don’t want anything to do with them.

I don’t want to link the post and blow it up. I just want shit clarified, dropped and we can move the fuck on with our lives.

If you’re reading this and don’t know what the post is, please don’t bother. I do not want people going after the op with threats, please keep it civil, I’d prefer if you don’t engage with the post at all on my behalf.

Despite this huge wall of text, I do not want this to be a big deal, so please don’t ask me about the details.

As for anon, feel free to dm me either on here or. Maybe on discord if you’d still like to suggest or have something more cleared up. I’m still willing to hear any kind of feedback, and i want to thank you again for being reasonable about this

#Anonymous #ask #jdb faq #ask to tag #long post

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anonymousbaev · 3 years

Note

i love ur writing style!! i was wondering if u could write how the rfa + v and saeran would react to mc coming out as bi? and like,,,shes kinda scared they might leave her or smth?

RFA+V and Saeran reaction to mc coming out as bi

Thank you so much for the compliment, you boosted my confidence in writing it even got me inspired to write this for you! (〃^∇^)ﾉ Also this idea is amazing, I hope I wrote it similar to the way you wanted it! I started at 6 pm and just finished right now at 2:43 am yay! WOOHOO FIRST HEADCANON REQUEST COMPLETE! I also saw another request come in while working on this so I shall begin on that one sometime soon too! Please lmk if anything here is disrespectful in any way. ENOUGH TALKING, ENJOY! ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

!!WARNING!!

!!PROFANITY AND TRIGGERING SCENES!!

☆Yoosung☆

☆ You and Yoosung have been dating for a month now, you both told each other everything. At first you were scared to come out to him as being bi, but coming further and further into your relationship, you felt an urge to tell him. Being bi was something you were proud of. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel a bit scared he would leave you. You know he’s supportive and understanding, he’s not someone who would judge you. However, having a trauma of your parents kicking you out from a young age for being bi… It left an empty hole in your heart that had yet to be mended. Why couldn’t they love you for who you were? You were still their kid they’ve always known…

☆However, your parents were old news now. If they couldn’t be parents that supported you no matter what. You simply didn’t need them either. You knew Yoosung weren’t like them. And so, you gathered up your courage to come out to him one day. He was fairly surprised when you’d told him you had something to talk about. So, the two of you went out to a café on a Saturday morning to chat.

☆ “Mc!” Yoosung waves to you at the table he had been waiting for you. You nervously wave back at him as you make your way to the table. You sit down with a awkward smile, “I hope you weren’t busy today. I know I kind of called you kind of out of the blue.” He rests his head on his hand on the table with a grin as he replies, “No worries! Besides, even if I were busy, I would always make time for you!”

☆ As always, he was being so sweet. “Oh right! What did you want to talk about? You seemed anxious, is everything okay, Cutie?” You gulp so loud he probably can hear it. You just want to get this over with. Being bi was normal. Why did you have to be scared to say it? “I’ll get straight to the point, I just wanted you to know that I’m bi. I don’t want to keep my mouth shut on this anymore...but please don’t leave me. I love you.”

☆ He sits up straight as he holds your hand over the table. “Babe of course I won’t leave you, I’d be a hypocrite if I did. Nothing between us will change, in fact with another part of you revealed to me, I feel even closer with you!” You start to cry out happy tears as it gets him flustered knocking down his cup of ice tea all over the table. ⋋_⋌

☕️ Jaehee ☕️

☕️ Jaehee and you opened the café just like any other day. When you took out the freshly baked sweets, it immediately spread throughout the café and out the widely opened doors. The fragrance attracted in so many customers. The café soon became absolutely full. As you were helping a young lady and her daughter with their order, a small family catches everyone’s attention at the shop. The man who looks to be the father of a teen begins to lecture him. It causes a ruckus and with Jaehee too busy to notice making drinks at the back, you excuse yourself and head to the small family. “Excuse me, is everything okay here?”

☕️ You try your best to be as nice as possible before he begins to shout at you too. “YES. EVERYTHING IS FINE HERE. WE’RE TRYING TO HAVE A PRIVATE CONVERSTATION HERE, IF YOU DON’T MIND I WOULD APPREACIATE IT IF YOU LET US BE.” You sigh trying to keep your cool, but you notice all the other customers rushing to hurriedly pay and get out. “I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” He bangs his fists down on the table startling both his wife and son, but it startles you the most. “HOW DARE A LOWLY WAITER LIKE YOU TELL ME TO LEAVE. WHERE’S YOUR BOSS, HUH? BRING HIM HERE.” He spits at your face, you start to get so uncomfortable.

☕️ “Hello, I’m in charge here and I’m a she not a he. Also I would appreciate it if you would stop throwing reckless insults at my girlfriend.” Jaehee appears from the back. She must’ve heard all the commotion and came out to help you. She pushes him away from you, pissed. BAEHEE I LOVE YOU!

☕️ “GIRLFRIEND? WHATEVER THIS PLACE IS UNBELIEVABLE. WOMEN SHOULD DATE MEN AND MEN SHOULD DATE WOMEN. This is why youngsters these days need more lecturing tsk.” The man rushes out obviously intimated by Jaehee as his wife and son follow him out with an apologetic look to both you and Jaehee. Jaehee doesn’t hesitate to follow after him and give him a proper lecture but stops when she hears a small whimper before crouching down to meet your eyes. You sob so upset at the man’s cruel and untrue words. You know everything he’d said is not true AT ALL but can’t help but remember his words are similar from the words of your mother, it brings you to the floor.

☕️ “What’s wrong Mc? I know his words were harsh but you know none of that is true. Don’t cry because of an insect like him. ” you nod agreeing with her before taking a moment to get your words out, “I know...I know but he reminds me so much of my unsupportive parents when I came out as bi to them.”

☕️ “Oh Mc, don’t cry it’s going to be okay. There’s always going to be so much negativity in the world. Whatever it may be, and that’s not gonna change. Yet, you have to know you have me. And I have you. That’s all that matters.” You hug her and the people that have stayed in the café clap as the both of you have chased the bad man out. You see Jaehee blush for being in the center of attention.┏(＾0＾)┛┗(＾0＾) ┓

🎤 Zen 🎤

🎤 You and Zen cuddle on your shared bed. You begin to feel your eyes close in Zen’s warmth, and you eventually fall asleep to his pleasing lullaby. Your phone begins to ring and when Zen thinks it’d be better to let it be and tell you when you’re awake, he sees it’s your dad. He doesn’t know what to do, you never talk about your family. But he doesn’t want to worry your dad from you not picking up, so...he picks it up.

🎤 “Hello, sir!” He’s super nervous to be talking with your dad for the first time. Your dad is super confused and asks, “Who is this? I thought I was calling my daughter?” Zen carefully lays your sleeping body comfortably on bed out of his arms to sit up at the edge of the bed, he clears his throat. “Yes, you are. I’m her boyfriend she said she told you about me?” Your dad begins to laugh almost... wickedly? “Oh that girl never tells me anything after her mother and I kicked her out of the house.” Zen is so shocked he’s at a loss of words you never mentioned this...

🎤 Zen continued to quietly listen to your father a little...pissed? Maybe you have horrible parents like he did. He starts to really regret picking up your phone, he should’ve asked you first. Regardless, it’s too late to regret it now and your dad continues to chatter on, “I’m glad to know she’s all fixed now. She’s dating an actual man. I was so aggravated when she came out to her mother and I to be bi.” Zen quietly heads to the living room and quickly scratches his head in anger, did your dad just say fix?

🎤 “Excuse me but, if anything it looks like you need more fixing than anyone else. Also, Mc has not been “fixed”. She’d been perfect and she still is perfect in the same way. Dare I say, please don’t call Mc or even show your face anywhere near her if these are the things you tell her.” He ends the call and sees your head down, sitting down near the bedroom door as if you’d collapsed. He rushes over to you and gently holds your shoulder. “Jagiya are you okay? I’m sorry I picked up your call without-”

🎤 “It’s okay...it’s okay as long as you won’t leave me.” you shake your head in fear as Zen raises an eyebrow with a questioning look. “And why would I leave you?”

🎤 “Because I’ve kept it from you! That I’m bi and that I have bad parents. You told me everything, but I told you nothing. You’re probably feeling betrayed...but I really do trust you I really do love you! I was just scared... I know you are nothing like my parents. Ever since I met you, all you have given me was love and support! But it hurts...my dads words...they come back to me everyday and it makes me feel like I should keep it a secret...” He sighs before helping you stand back up on your feet. He fixes your messy hair and wipes away your tears with a gentle swipe.

🎤 “Baby, it’s okay. I know you would’ve eventually told me everything. Don’t feel guilty for not telling me. These are things you tell me when you want to tell me. You just needed time to heal from your parents. Just...overall...please know I love you no matter what. I’ll help you get over their words. I’ll show you what your parents told you were just thorns on a rose. Nothing more than a tragic obstacle from your happiness. Don’t be afraid of something that makes you, you because of the words of someone unsupportive. I know how it feels to have bad parents.” He pulls you into a hug, he feels so warm. You grasp onto his shirt and sob into his abs. You’re once again reminded of how much you love this man. ●ᴥ●

♛ Jumin ♛

♛ You’re attending an fancy business party with Jumin at an fancy hotel. You’re more than happy to attend this party with him. After all, you’d helped him plan for this project with your great creative mind. Not to mention, he loved showing you off.

♛ You and Jumin arrive in a limousine as he held your waist ignoring all the reporters into the front door of the hotel. You both stop at the entrance, four bodyguards around you as he lifts your chin up, you smile so lovingly he gulps before placing a kiss on your lips. “Are you ready, my love?” You nod as you snuggle against him as he holds your waist. All the bodyguards are supposed to guard the entrance so you both enter the main hall alone.

♛ After a few boring conversations of a few businessmen trying to kiss up on Jumin’s ass you excuse yourself to the snack bar much to Jumin’s dismay. Regardless, he nods and you walk away. All these delicious fancy food! You swear you are about to drool. While you’re wondering on what to eat first, someone calls your name and it’s not Jumin’s voice. You feel your heart drop as you clutch your chest before turning around to see your bully in the old days.

♛ Tiffany, she was the “perfect rich girl” at school. And this girl loved making fun of others. You’ve picked on by Tiffany and her followers all four years through high school. All for one reason, you were open about being bi. She and her friends would always call you the ‘gay commoner’. This bish doesn’t even know the meaning of “bi”

♛ Your heart begins to pound as if old memories come back at you like a gun shot. “Wait, hah you’re Mc, right? Wow... this place stoops as low to allow someone like you to come in? A gold digging commoner bitch that married Han Jumin. Oh right, and you’re gay. Be honest, you’re with Jumin because of his money right? You probably have sex with girls behind his back-” Tears swell in your eyes as you throw a slice of cake on her face. It drips down to her dress ‘made out of gold’. “ARE YOU CRAZY? OH MY GOSH, THIS DRESS IS WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIFE!” cliché shit I’m sorry. Your voice shakes, seeing her brings back your painful memories so vividly. “I can’t believe you’re still so uneducated after all these years! I’m bi not gay! And I see you’re still as immature as ever, haven’t changed that habit of picking on innocent people, huh? Also, you know nothing about my relationship with Jumin! I love him and I don’t care that you and other people point fingers at me. I have not once thought about being with him for money!” You feel a painful sting on your cheek as you look up to see that she’s slapped you.

♛ You bite your lips and she holds her hand up for another slap before she’s stopped with someone’s strong hand. Jumin holds her wrist as he looks at your painful mark, looking back at Tiffany in anger. Oh boy he’s pissed. He had rushed over as soon as he heard your faint yells across the room. “Jumin it’s okay, can you take me somewhere quiet...please?” He nods as he holds your waist to a balcony. The stars outside make you feel so much better as you smile bitterly. “Why was she hurting you, my love? I will make her pay for leaving such a painful wound. Please wait here my love I will call an ambulance right now.” You giggle a little before gently grabbing his hand. “I’ll be okay, please don’t, who calls an ambulance for a slap!” you continue to giggle before collapsing into his embrace. “I used to go to high school with her, and she’d always made fun of me. Because...I’m attracted to both males and females.”

♛ He furrows an eyebrow, “And...why is that something to make fun of?” You shrug, “I don’t know, but I think there’s more to her story. Still, that doesn’t make it okay for her to make fun of me.”

♛ “Of course it’s not. I cannot personally relate to being attracted to both genders, however I do know that’s not something to make fun of.” You look up to meet him in the eyes, “That’s all you have to say? I just came out to you as being bi.” He smiles as he kisses you, “I love you.” You laugh, Jumin is not a man with many words in situations like this. However you do know that this ‘I love you’ is not just a simple confession of love. It’s his way of telling you that he supports you and nothing will change between the two of you. The next day you find a bucket of flowers with a 10,000 lettered apology essay from Tiffany. You later also find out Jumin has stopped partnering with her fathers company. They eventually go bankrupt. (¬‿¬)

👓 Saeyoung 👓

👓 You shake as you look around you, you’re in a empty white void and suddenly, your ex appears in front of your eyes. “You’re bi? What so have you been going off with other girls behind my back?” He slaps you, pushing you down onto the floor. He wraps his hands around your neck so painfully. Your heart could jump out of your chest right then and there. You try to scream out, but your voices don’t leave your mouth. You shake your head denying him, until you’re finally able to open your eyes screaming, “NO!” You gasp for breath, you look around in your shared bedroom with Saeyoung. “MC?” Saeyoung sits up to see you. He scans your body to make sure you’re safe, “What’s wrong baby?”

👓 You shake your head, “I... had a nightmare.” he smiles, “Haha, you’re so cute still getting nightmares. What was it about? Elizabeth the 3rd turning into a monste- ZzZzZz...” He falls asleep again holding onto your waist as his body slides back down to lay. You wrap your arms around his head with a bitter smile before beginning to break down, you gently sob unknowingly. Saeyoung wakes up again, both of your eyes squinting as he turns the lamp on. You take a glance at the clock, it’s 3 am. You feel horrible for waking Sae up.

👓 He sits next to you, gently wiping away your tears. “You’re okay. If it makes you feel better we can talk before going back to bed. What did you have a nightmare about?” At first you’re hesitant, but knowing Sae, the sweetest purest sometimes perverted cinnamon roll you ever know, you felt safe to tell him. Before a warning you blurt it out, “I’m bi.” he smiles as he caresses' your cheeks before he says anything, you continue to talk, “I had a nightmare about my ex...he would beat me up and be so unsupportive of me.” You continue to cry harder painful memories coming back to you, more vividly now that you say it.

👓 He brings you into his arms, “Thank you. Thank you for telling me, you’re so so brave. Do you know that?” He smiles nuzzling his nose to yours. “You’re okay now. And I support you. I love you so much too. I, Saeyoung Defender of Justice will protect you no matter what.” You cringe at his last line, the both of you giggle as you both nuzzle each other back to sleep.

👓 BONUS: Saeyoung never tells you but he hacks into old camera files and sends your ex into jail for emotional and physical abuse. ( ಠ◡ಠ )

🌚 Saeran 🌚

🌚 You are eating dinner with Saeran until you finally come out to him as being bi, it feels as though a heavy anchor on you had been lifted. He pauses for a second looking up at you nodding, he quietly continues to eat his dinner. You feel so upset, that was it? A single nod? You spent days thinking of the right day to tell him this. It took a lot courage to come out to someone. The single nod he gave you continues to replay in your head.

🌚 Clearly upset, you hurriedly shove down your food Saeran constantly telling you that you will get sick if you continue. It didn’t matter, you just wanted to get out of here.

🌚 A while later...you’re in bed with Saeran, everything is so quiet. But Saeran notices how upset you’re after the incident. He mutters a “sorry” and you can tell he genuinely means it but you can’t help but still feel a bit sassy, “For what?”

🌚 “Sorry for being indifferent when you came out to me. Thank you for doing that. I appreciate your bravery. But I don’t know how to react- how you want me to react. Of course I’ll be supportive of you...but the wrong words would rather be disrespectful...so...sorry...I don’t know the right words to tell you. I’m not good at this kind of stuff.” You kiss him as you pull him onto the bed. “Thank you. That means so much. I’m sorry too, I got sensitive.”

🌚 The two of you fall asleep so secure and loved in each others embrace.

♧ Jihyun ♧

♧ It’s been a week since you’ve came out to Jihyun about being bi, he was unconditionally supportive and loving. One day, You and Jihyun decide to go to the mall as you insisted in buying him new clothes. He was so bad at dressing himself. Without realizing it Jihyun brought his glasses and cane, even when he could see now with his eye surgery.

♧ He smiles wholeheartedly when you continue to be amused by all the cool stuff at the mall. Someone suddenly comes from behind putting a hand on your shoulder that was between you and Jihyun. Jihyun elbows them in surprise before calmly apologizing, “Ah, I’m sorry.” the man looked to be in pain but he tried to act fine as he said “It’s fine.” His friend in the back whispered “Wow look at his cane, he’s blind.” they all began to laugh.

♧ You were about to shout at them but after seeing Jihyun simply just raising an eyebrow you just cross your arms at them before attempting to walk away. “Hey hey, I’m not done yet. Aren’t you Mc?” He roughly pulls your wrist, it makes you unwantedly unlink arms with Jihyun. “Hey, you are! Remember me? You tried to date my girlfriend.” You shiver as you realize him. Your old classmate. You had confessed your interest to his girlfriend during your senior years, however you had no idea she had a boyfriend. It wasn’t your fault, you’d even apologized to him and her afterwards. He’d never forgot you though when he sweared that the reason for him breaking up with his girlfriend was because of you.

♧ Your stomach turned, heart dropping, as his glares came in to you like stinging daggers. Jihyun hides you behind him as he nicely tells them, “It would be better not to make a commotion here.” The men mockingly copy his words in a idiotic tone. Your anger boils, but Jihyun is calm as always. “Mc you’ve gotten greedier, eh? Women weren’t enough, now you want both men and women?” Your heart drops, as the anger in you all shred into tears. However, you hold them back. Where had it all gone wrong? After all those painful years, you almost forgot it all after getting into Rika’s apartment and helping everyone recover from their painful past. You forgot you had a painful past of your own, one you’d never recovered from. One that still lingers somewhere in your heart till this day. You shake yourself back to reality when you notice Jihyun holding onto your hand.

♧ Jihyun shoves the man away like a feather with his cane when he attempts to approach the two of you. Eventually the security guards come and separate them from the both of you. Jihyun embraces you in his warmth as he reminds you, “You know all those foolish things those men said are not true, darling.” His words are rather short that what you’d imagined him to say. However his words are comforting regardless.

♧ Later you find out Jumin, Jihyun, and Saeyoung have been working on something but you don’t quite know what...you brush it off. They’ve been working on ruining the life of those two rude ass men at the mall. (⌒o⌒)

The quality of my writing started to drop from Saeyoung I’m so sorry. I might come back to them and fix them later on...∑(゜Д゜;)

#mysme headcanons #mysme unknown #mysme ray #mysme saeran #mysme yoosung #mysme jumin #mysme jaehee #mysme hyun ryu #mysme hyun #mysme zen #mysme 707 #mysme luciel #mysme saeyoung #mysme v #mysme jihyun #mystic messenger

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blkmxrvel · 5 years

Text

To Kree or Not To Kree

Pairing: Carol Danvers x Romanoff!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x LittleSister!Reader; Natasha Romanoff x Wanda Maximoff (brief but there!)

Words: 2222

Request: May I please request a Carol Danvers x fem!reader where the reader is really affectionate, but Carol isn’t really cuddly because she’s not used to physical contact? Like, the reader really always wants to kiss/hug Carol but doesn’t cuz she doesn’t want to make Carol uncomfortable? But when Carol initates small bits of affection, like hand holding, the reader gets really happy, and it kinda makes Carol guilty cuz C feels like she doesn’t give R enough love. Sorry if this is confusing I❤u!!!

Summary: You want touch, Carol doesn’t. Carol loves you, you love Carol more. Natasha stands up for her little sister.

Warnings: Carol is a bit of an asshole but means no harm, Natasha is a #mamabear. Angst-ish, but fluffy nonetheless.

A/N: what????? madi managed to post a request???? bitch ik! im sorry it’s taken me so long I was in a bit of a rut there! but iam back and I really like this one. I sorta kinda tried a new writing style? If yall like it lmk. Enjoy!

Everyone says opposites attract, and with you and Carol, it’s quite obvious.

You’re the kind of person who thrives off of human contact and affection. You love anything that involves contact, hugging, holding hands, high fives, cuddling, the whole 9 yards. It’s what gave you the euphoric feeling that everyone craves.

Carol is literally the exact opposite. She stays away from physical contact as much as possible

She doesnt understand the need for it, she wants her space. She doesnt need to….interlock fingers with yours to prove that she loves you. She may have been human, but technically, her wiring was still Kree.

And do you really think they allowed measly… mortal things like hugging and cuddling to slide?

…

That’s what I thought.

You never made a big deal out of it, though. You knew that was just Carol, and you didn’t wanna be the kind of girlfriend that always nags and is never satisfied.

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve tried. Like that once time at the pier.

It was date night, you and carol, and Natasha and Wanda. It was group date:movie on the beach followed by street food and a walk on the pier.

“Group photo!” Everyone huddled together as Natasha stretched her arms to hey everyone in the photo.

You stood by your girlfriend smiling wide, you took a regular photo and then a silly one. You saw Wanda stand on her tiptoes to kiss Natasha on her cheek, so you figured you would do the same to Carol.

I mean…Natasha sure as hell got a kick out of it. And you and Carol were just as much in love and they were.

So, standing on your toes when Natasha went to take another picture, you pressed your lips to Carol eyes.

Big mistake.

Carol froze up, you could’ve sworn she was about to have a seizure with how tense her body got.

“You alright?” Thinking that you crossed a boundary.

“Yeah, Babe. I’m fine.”

You brushed it off and told yourself you were overthinking.

But you weren’t.

For the rest of the night, Carol basically avoided any contact with you, she didnt hold your hand, kiss you on your forehead. None of it.

You chalked it up to her maybe not being comfortable with PDA. You could get with that, I mean…it makes sense. She grew up in a time where people weren’t so open about two women loving each other, and a lot of people today still aren’t it made sense.

But then….Carol not only didn’t show you affection outside, but inside as well.

Everytime you initiated a cuddle session, she would always make some lame excuse “oh, it’s too hot” or “you’re crushing my bladder baby” and she would always play it off.

That happened a lot, like a lot, a lot.

So eventually, you let it go. You didn’t try to hug her, or hold her when she had a bad day. You knew she wasn’t going to hold up or rub your back if you came back from a particularly bad mission that left you with a nightmare. You knew that you weren’t ever going to have that. But you loved Carol, so you were able to deal.

Not being able to be intimate (not sexually) with the one person you loved most took a toll on you, of course it did.

Everyone could see it, especially Natasha.

Nat was your big sister, she was always the one who noticed even the smallest bit of a change in you.

So you bet your bottom dollar that Natasha heard the sigh you let out when she hugged you longer than usual.

This past mission was….brutal, to say the least. You had made it out by the skin of your teeth, broken toe and bruises and scratches everywhere, but alive nonetheless.

Of course, Carol was relieved that you were alive…and she told you that. But sometimes actions speak louder than words. All she gave you was a little smile and peck on the lips. There was no bruising kiss, bone crushing hug. But, you were used to it.

Natasha though, quite the opposite.

As soon as she saw you, her little sister, walk through the compound doors, she gave you the biggest hug.

All you could do was hug back, let out the biggest sigh, and with that came tears. It had been so long since you’d been hugged so passionately. Since someone’s love for you was shown through body movements and physical contact.

Natasha noticed how you were reluctant to pull away, and how when you did. You looked drained, albeit refreshed.

She knew the mission was tough but this was something else. She knew how you looked when it’d been awhile without physical reassurance.

“When was the last time Carol gave you a hug? Held you? Anything?”

And when you couldn’t give a solid answer let alone a recent one, Natasha was ready to rip off a head. You calmed her down of course, saying how it was okay, but She wasn’t having it.

“Why don’t you just tell her how much hugging and affection means to you? You don’t deserve this.” Natasha huffed and crossed her eyes, eyes sad eyes looking into yours.

“Because it’s who she is, Nat.” You tried to explain. “She doesn’t do hugs or late night cuddles. That’s just her.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Yeah? Well you do hugs, and kisses and holding hands and late night cuddles. That’s just who you are. Why are you the only sacrificing and making changes to who you are, when she’s living fine and dandy?” She threw her hands up, eyes wide and expectant with anger.

“Why is she perfectly sane and you’re losing your mind, hell yourself? And why the fuck didn’t you tell me about this earlier?”

Natasha was pissed yes, but it was coming from a place of love. And you knew you needed to hear it.

“I- I don’t know. I just love her and I didn’t wanna make her uncomfortable.”

She sighed. Placing her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down. You smiled. “That’s not love, Y/N/N. You can love Carol all you want, but you don’t love yourself if you’re willing to allow yourself to be hurt like this.”

Natasha was right, she knew that. And she also knew that you weren’t going to say anything to Carol directly. So she took upon herself, as she should.

You slept in between Natasha and Wanda that night. Sandwiched in between your two favorite people family members. Don't…. Don’t tell Tony that.

The next morning, Carol jumped up at the sound of banging against her door. It was still dark outside, she didn’t even hear birds chirping yet. Who in the world could that be?

“I don’t care if your decent or not Danvers, I’m coming in.”

The door opened and in walked Natasha romanoff, still in her pajamas, but a wicked look on her face. She sat in the chair facing Carol’s bed, faced hardened and eyes raging.

“Nat what the-”

“We need to talk about Y/N.”

Carol’s eyes widened, sitting up immediately. “I- Is she alright?”

“No, thanks to you.” Natasha raised her eyebrows, attitude spewing from her body language. Spicy.

“What are you talking about?” Carol rubbed her eyes, it was too early to be dealing with yelling and accusations.

“Why haven’t you hugged her? Or kissed her? Or held her after her worst missions? Or told her it was going to be alright when she wakes up screaming from nightmares? Because I’m sure she does. We all do. But unlike Y/N, we have someone to calm us down and make is feel safe? Do you even love her?”

Carol scrunched her eyebrows up at that. “Of course I love her why are you asking that?”

“Are you sure?” Natasha tilted her head. “Because if you did, you would see how tired and sad she looks. How all she wants is a hug and kiss everyone once and a while from her girlfriend! How she just wants to hold your hand when you pass through crowds because they make her nervous and she doesnt want to get lost!”

Carol stuttered. What was Natasha talking about?

“She wants to feel loved. Because actions speak damn louder than words. And you telling Y/N that you love her means nothing if she doesn’t feel it.”

Natasha is pacing around the room now, rage fueling her words. This was for her sister.

“God. She sacrificed the one thing that grounds her the most because you are ‘comfortable’ with physical contact.” Air quotes. “Well too damn bad, Danvers. Sometimes we gotta feel uncomfortable to make the one we love comfortable. And it isn’t even unreasonable, its human! And before you spew that Kree bullshit at me, you have your memories back, and all the feelings that come with it. You know what it’s like. Y/N hasn’t been hugged or held in weeks. She thrives on that. That’s why she probably almost died! Because she just couldn’t think, her body didn’t have enough energy, enough…love to get out of their sooner.” Natasha wiped her eyes, red and puffy eyes before looking at her sisters girlfriend. Her voice cracked all through her rampant speech.

“So before you say, you love her. Do you actions show it? She may be here now, might he huffing it and powering through. But a person can only handle so much before they break. And I’ll be damned if I let you break my sister. So shape up, or ship out, Danvers. My sister comes first.”

And with that…Natasha was gone.

Wow.

Carol just sat in her bed, hair still messy and eyes red and teary.

What kind of girlfriend was she? Natasha was 100% right. She didnt give you enough love, and she feels like a complete ass for not caring. She knew what she needed to do.

The rest of the day went as Normal. You had no idea about the whole Natasha/Carol debacle. And it stayed that way.

You woke up, in a….surprisingly not empty bed. Natasha and Wanda were at your sides, trying to hold in their giggles as they watched TV to not wake you.

Spoiler alert: didnt work.

Natasha asked how you’re feeling, to which you said “better than ever.” They both frowned at that answer. They didn’t even want to ask when was the last time you and Carol slept in the same bed.

You all went your separate ways. It was Sunday, you had training and a debriefing to prepare yourself for. But you needed to shower first. Mentally, you were refreshed, being squished because two bodies and snug like a bug in a rug really gave your mind a boost.

You were sad that it wasn’t Carol on either side of you, but you didn’t dwell too much on it. Not a good idea to think too much.

You walked towards your room, turning the knob to get your things to shower.

You nearly jumped when you saw a disheveled Carol on your bed. Red eyes and a look of pure guilt when she saw you.

“Carol, is everything alright?” She stood up and walked over to you. She played with her hands as she tried to find the right words.

“I just- I.” You reached out to place your hands onto Carol’s, immediately pulling your hands back when you registered just who was standing in front of you.

Carol broke at that. Tears now freely flowing from her eyes as she covered them with her hands.

“You’re scaring me, Car. What’s wrong?” She pulled her hands down and stared at you, the tears never stopping.

Suddenly, you felt yourself being pulled forward and warm, strong arms coming around your waist.

It was an odd feeling, a new one, and it took you a minute, but then you realized.

This is a hug, Carol is hugging you. Oh my god. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

You wrapped your arms around Carol’s middle, squeezing tightly as you laid your head on her chest. She squeezed harder, still crying, while words fell from her mouth.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been the worst girlfriend ever. I put myself before you and I let you not put yourself first. I should’ve hugged you everyday, and kissed you on your forehead when you were sleepy and- and held your hand when were in crowds and let you lay on me when you were scared. I’m so sorry. You’re only human and I denied you of the one thing you needed most. Please forgive me.”

You didn’t let go of Carol, or say anything else. You just squeezed harder, your arms coming to wrapped around her neck, as she pulled your body even closer.

Tears sprang to your eyes when you felt her lips press to your forehead.

Was this a dream?

“This was all you wanted and I never gave it to you. You never go without it again I promise, I love you. I love you and I’m gonna show you. No more Kree Carol, Human Carol from now on.”

You placed a kissed on Carol’s neck, smiling when she sighed in relief.

This was all you wanted, and you finally got it. You’re only human.

#carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #brie larson imagine #brie larson x reader #brie larson #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #captain marvel imagine #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #wlw fanfic #wlw imagine #madi writes

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oopcio · 4 years

Text

hi! i’m jiah and i enjoy writing, especially when i can involve my favorite fandoms in so. writing helps me de-stress and i really really need that more than anything rn. i figured this would be good for me to express myself and destress, while also getting close to the fandom/community and making things you guys can enjoy reading 🥺

topics i will write for:

. the arcana (im new to it and im in LOVE)

. mystic messenger

. fictif

. maybe kpop (specifically bts bc they’re my ults) but im undecided so if ppl want it i’ll c!!!

i will write:

. headcanons

. fics

. oneshots

. reactions

. asks (like u send a q for a character and i answer as them yes okay ty)

. etc

i am comfortable writing:

. sfw

. nsfw (i will mark this nsfw so u if ur uncomfy w/ that u can skip it) (👍≖‿‿≖)👍

. fluff

. angst (though i don’t have too much experience here so it may not be top tier i apologize 😔👉🏻👈🏻)

. aus

. etc

rules:

. no minors on nsfw posts please 😫

. no nsfw INVOLVING minors

. no beastiality

. no scat / pee

. no transphobia

. no homophobia

. no racism

. when u req pls be as clear as possible so i can give u exactly what u asked for (っ◔︣◡◔᷅)っ ♡ ily

. i’m best at character x reader

. but i can also do character x character

. these r probably subject to change bc i have one (1) braincell and i probably forgot a lot to put here

. if i’m uncomfortable with smthn i’ll let u know

. i’m still learning how to use tumblr lmao i’m new here be patient w me i’m trying 😔

. also b patient in general please bc life happens uno

requests:

. okay now that u kno the rules here is how to req

. for asks, say something like “ask for ___” or “question for ___” and then ur q

. just in general let me know somehow that you are wanting an answer in the ask format, & who you are asking for

. for anything else,,, idk just lmk if you want a specific format. otherwise i’ll write whatever feels right lmao

. if you don’t specify pronouns or anything i’ll try to use they/them :)

&& if you ever have any questions and/or suggestions for me, feel free to send them!!! and that’s all i have for now, thank you for your time 🥺 reblog and i’ll follow u also b my friend ✨pls✨ 👉🏻👈🏻

#the arcana #mystic messenger #fictif #kpop #bts #fanfic #imagines #reactions #asks #headcanon #oneshot #the arcana mystic romance #idk what to put in the tags #writing

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v1rg1nvodkasprite · 5 years

Text

Profoundly Immoral and Wicked → Peter Parker (Part I)

Summary

After loosing hope and everyone he cared for, Peter turns to devilish actions while risking his own life and the life of the one person who hasn't lost hope for him.

Warnings: language, mention of death, angst, dark!spiderman, endgame spoilers

Notes: hey guys this is a new series that i'm starting. i really like this concept and it's not written enough honestly. lmk if u want to be added to my taglist here. i hope you enjoy!! x

I paced back and forth in the Avengers Compund, nervously waiting for any news to come through my police radio. It was around the usual time that Peter would cause trouble and now all I had to do was wait. "Maybe he's taking a break tonight," Clint said, taking a bite from the apple in his hand.

I shook my head. "He never does," I said, my gaze never leaving the radio. Clint sighed before taking another bite, shaking his head.

"Attention 486 units, we've got a 10-31 in progress at 97-41 Queens Blvd, Rego Park, NY 11374. Any unit in 10 or less," a voice came from the radio. I was quick to respond, unzipping my sweatshirt to reveal the white, skin-tight suit underneath.

"Need any help?" Clint asked, getting up from the chair and I shook my head. "No, I've got this," I said before junping out the window, my wings expanding to glide through the air.

I made my way towards the bank a quickly as possible not wanting the police to arrive before me. If the police got to Peter before I did, he would most definitely go to prison and I couldn't let that happen. He'd be put in the same place as the villians he defeated. He'd be killed instantly.

I perched on top the roof, observing Peter as he stuffed wads of cash into a bag from a broken ATM. After stuffing the cash into the bag, he shot a web to the next building, swinging himself up to the roof. I few after him, grabbing onto him as he landed onto the roof.

He grunted falling onto the ground as I tackled him. "Get the fuck off of me," he said, elbowing me in the face. I groaned, my hand going to my nose as it throbbed in pain.

"Peter, stop!" I yelled to him, sweeping my wings under his feet, making him fall. "Leave me alone, Y/N," he said, shooting a web at one of my wings pulling me down to the ground.

I got up, trying to fly over Peter but he pulled me back down, kick me in my chest. I fell back, the wind knocked out of me. I groaned getting back up, grabbing a Peter from behind, jumping off of the building and flying in the direction of where the Avengers compound was.

"Let me go!" he yelled, throwing his head back, hitting my face. I dropped him, groaning in pain as he fell in top of another roof. I dived down, landing on the building as I ran after Peter.

"Peter please," I called out to him. "Why are you here?" he stopped, turning around to face me. "Because I want to help you. You don't need to do this," I told him, my face full of concern. "I don't need your help. Last time you tried to help, Mr. Stark died and then May died! You don't get to tell me what's wrong from right when you let them die!" She yelled at me, furiously.

I shook my head, "Peter, you know that wasn't my fault. My dad died to save everyone else. I would've gladly taken his place," I said, a knot forming in my throat at the mention of my late father.

It hadn't even been a year since he died and a few months since May died. I remembered that night lividly. Some how, Harry found out that Peter was Spiderman and decided to kill May to get revenge on Peter for killing his father.

The plan was that Peter would try to distract Harry while I snuck up on him to pick up May and fly her away from the fight but the plan fell through.

Harry turned back to face me as soon as jumped out of the shadows and threw May away from him. I dived down trying to reach May before she hit the ground but was far behind her. Peter shot a web down to try to catch her, only for her to hit the ground as the web attached to her.

"But you killed May, you didn't even try to get her. You just let her fall!" he screamed, his throat becoming raw. "Don't you dare say that I didn't try! I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I cared about her so don't say that I didn't care or just let her die. I tried, Peter and I'm sorry," I yelled at him, starting to choke.

"She's dead and it's your fault!" he scream at me, shooting a web straight for my chest. An uncomfortable feeling shot through, all of my body cramping up, the web shocking me. Peter had used one of the many combinations my dad put into his suit, tasing me with his web.

I fell to the group screaming out as the jolts of electricity run through me. He stopped after a minute, looking at me for a few seconds as I laid on the ground, not being able to move. I couldn't tell what he was thinking as he watched me but it wasn't long before he short another web off, swinging away.

I waited a few minutes, finally pushing myself up as the rest of my body still felt tight. Of course, I had fought with Peter before and left with a few bruises and scratches but we never crossed the line like that.

I made my way back to the compound, deciding on walking instead of flying. I didn't trust myself to keep myself up as my wings felt like they were on fire.

As made my way up to lab in the compound, I suddenly collapsed. My heart beat was the only thing I heard as a surreal pain in my chest grew. I screamed out in pain as Scott ran to my side.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Let me- fuck! I'm going to get someone," he said, running away. Seconds later, he came back with Bruce, the pain increasing. Bruce picked me and I felt like small in his arms as he carried me to medical lab, setting me down on the bed.

"She's having a heart attack, give her some aspirin while I set up the ACE inhibitors. Try to keep her calm, okay?" he said, before walking away. "You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine, alright?" Scott said, trying to reassure me but it sounded like he was trying convince himself.

I soon passed out, the pain overcoming me. Later, I woke up, my chest still a bit sore but the overall pain had stopped. "How are you feeling?" Bruce asked, sitting down next to the bed. "I'm okay," I said, sitting up. "Woah, woah. Lay back down," he said, pushing me back down gently but with his strength, it wasn't as gentle.

"I'm fine, Bruce," I huffed but he shook his head. "You're not. It seems like you have an atrial septal defect. You basically have a hole in your heart between the two lower chambers," he explained. My eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, "What does that mean? Am I going to be able to go on missions and stuff?"

Bruce sighed, nodding, "Technically, yes but I would t recommend it. The amount of adrenaline that fighting involves could damage your heart over time," he said and I nodded. "You should also take a break from chasing after Peter," he said and I shook my head.

"I can't, you know that. He didn't give up on me when Dad died so I'm not going to give up on him. You remember when I almost drank myself to death everyday. He was the one that made me go to rehab," I said and Bruce sighed. "Yes, I remember. Just take it easy, okay? If he takes it any harder on you, there's a chance it'll get worse. We're looking at you dying, Y/N," he said and I sighed and nodded.

It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that Peter would ever use that on me. Even during the Civil War, he wouldn't punch me or use any of his webs on me even though I was fighting on Cap's side. I guess he had changed completely. It was going to be really hard to help get back to who he used to be.

taglist

@satanspaghetti , @rencontre-moi-dans-le-couloir , @thewinchesterchronicles , @b-i-g-i-r-l-b-i , @rexorangecouny , @harrysstyleseyes , @weakling-grace , @computersaysnot , @lilibellecms , @jonesyaddiction , @toogoateechild , @boomtownboy , @benders-diamond-earring , @rogertaylors-falsetto

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vincent-frankenstein · 5 years

Text

Shatter

Chapter Ten: Insecurity

Summary: Logic is a storm. He’s a furious fire, raging deep inside; thunder strong enough to tear the mindscape to pieces, lightning bright enough to take control. And the storm grows with each time he’s ignored or disregarded, each time his so-called “family” pushes him aside. This is a golden opportunity — how could Rage not take it?

When lightning strikes, Deceit is left to pick up the shattered pieces left behind. The light sides are the only ones who can stop Logic and take Rage off his throne, the only ones who can save Thomas. Deceit just has to fix the damage Logic wrought. He just has to bring back the light.

(And maybe, maybe fall in love with them in the process.)

Warnings: violence, manipulation, blood, corruption, sympathetic deceit, villain logan, swearing, dark side ocs, basically just logan and rage being ASSHOLES and hurting everyone including thomas

Pairings: eventual DAMP (starting with Roceit, then Moceit, and finally Anxceit)

{ Read on AO3 | Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Interlude | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine }

@dante1138 @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur @dealings-ofthe-raven @nerdypandastuff @sammy-the-eye @spirits-in-my-thoughts @c0re0psis @just-a-baby-bee-witchblr @theultimatemomfriend (lmk if u wanna be added to/removed from the taglist!)

reblogs > likes

Oh, Deceit was so happy with the situation at hand.

As the hours drew on, his injured leg became more and more painful, until he could barely walk without toppling to the ground. Sides healed quicker than humans, at least, but not quickly enough to relieve him of his agony any time soon. Climbing down the tower was out of the question, especially considering Roman had torn most of the ivy away during their battle. He was trapped — injured and alone in a tower with someone who would never grow to trust him.

He groaned, glaring at the ceiling. He’d propped his leg up on an armchair in search of some relief, but that left him to lay on the floor, and, really, there was nothing more uncomfortable than a stone floor. His back ached, a dull thrumming beat to accompany the shrill agony of his leg.

He didn’t know what he dreaded more: the continued silence of Roman’s sleep, or whatever was coming when he awoke. Deceit prided himself on being a master of cunning, devious plans, but he’d turned the situation over in his head again and again and again, and the only idea that presented itself to him was… impossible.

Furthermore, planning something was easier than actually seeing it to completion, and he had no idea how to even begin moving forward. Bringing Roman back to his old self wouldn’t be easy; he’d have to build his self-confidence back up from square one, which would entail copious amounts of compliments and reassurances and other disgustingly soft things like that. Soft thing that he didn’t even know if he was capable of producing.

Oh, he could certainly fabricate them. Flattery got a man everywhere, after all, and it was oh so easy to wax poetic about someone if every verse was a lie. But he had a feeling lies weren’t going to cut it this time around. The old Roman had been particularly susceptible to his flattery, but that was when he still had that shred of confidence, that hope that maybe, maybe he wasn’t as bad as his thoughts told him he was.

Roman had clung to his compliments because he used them to feed that shred, to convince himself that the mask he wore was his true face. But Logan had snuffed out that hope, leaving behind only insecurities and doubts, and without it, there was nothing to feed, nothing to nurture. He wouldn’t accept Deceit’s compliments at face value, too overpowered by doubts to believe them. No, he’d call Deceit out on his, well, deceit, and they’d get nowhere fast.

But would genuine compliments work? Or would Roman’s insecurities drown them out as well? He sighed sharply, fingers tapping against the floor in a thoughtful pattern. He’d reached the conclusion that compliments wouldn’t work several times, and each time he’d remained just as unable to work around it. It frustrated him to no end.

There had to be another angle. What else motivated Roman, beyond validation? Quests? Could he fabricate some wild goose-chase, perhaps, send him gallivanting across his own kingdom and hope he regained some of his prince-ness along the way…?

He froze, eyes snapping open. On the bed, Roman groaned, shifting in his sleep. With a hiss of pain, Deceit drew his leg from the chair and stood as best as he could, supporting himself along the bed frame as he stepped up to Roman’s side.

Roman curled tighter into himself, a small, sad noise escaping from his lips. Deceit lowered himself onto the bed, hoping for the best and bracing for the worst as Roman’s eyes fluttered open. He caught his bearings for a moment, eyebrows furrowing, pain filling his eyes…

And then his gaze fell onto Deceit.

“Wh — what a-are you doing here?” he asked, and his voice shattered and fell into pieces between them. There was no anger in his voice — but there wasn’t anything else, either, nothing but a shaky, resigned exhaustion. He didn’t move to sit up; he only tensed, as if he expected Deceit to attack.

“Do you remember anything that happened?” Deceit asked, voice as smooth as ever, even as his insides burned with doubt.

“Why are you here,” Roman said, more of a quiet statement than a question, like he’d convinced himself that he already knew the answer. He moved his gaze from Deceit’s face, gray eyes boring into a spot over his shoulder.

“To save you,” Deceit said. “To fix everything.”

A humorless laugh tumbled from Roman’s mouth, pitchy and broken in all the wrong places. He wrapped his arms around his torso and held, tight, his knuckles turning stark white against the ashy gray of his skin. “T-To fix everything?” he repeated. “You’re a bigger idiot than I am, Deceit.”

“What, no clever nickname?” Deceit shoved away the heavy dread that landed on his shoulders. Roman’s voice was… not Roman, in the worst kind of way, a shattered, empty thing.

Roman’s breath hitched in his throat. “Get out,” he whispered, his voice a barely-there imitation of anger.

“Come now, Prince Roman,” Deceit said smoothly, and opened his mouth to say more when Roman reared his head up and stumbled from the bed. Tears glimmered like broken glass in the corners of his eyes.

“Get out!” he said again, and oh, there was his anger, burning hot and fueled by hatred. “There is nothing here to save!” His chest heaved, his face contorted with grief, as though he was grieving the man he’d once been. Deceit pushed himself to his feet as smoothly as he could with one injured leg, and Roman threw his arms wide, laughter laced with self-loathing falling from his lips. “Do you see anything here worth saving?”

“No,” Deceit said, with a deadpan stare. “Thomas is so much better off without you. We don’t need you back.”

“Liar,” Roman hissed.

“Well, yes, but —” Deceit cleared his throat. His suave facade was slipping in the face of Roman’s unyielding insecurity, but he couldn’t let himself break. He drew himself up, squaring his shoulders, and shoved away his need to lie. “Logan is making a mess of things. Thomas is unhappy, the mindscape is crumbling, your fellow light sides are broken, and Rage is ruling it all with an iron fist. You are a prince, are you not? Go slay the villain.”

Roman laughed again, his arms wrapped tightly around his middle. “I’m no prince,” he said, voice breaking. “I couldn’t even stop Logan! I-I let them all down! He was right — I’m nothing more than a failure!”

“Wow,” Deceit drawled. “Every word that just came out of your mouth is a lie. And I thought I was the liar here. Roman —”

“Shut up,” Roman breathed, voice haggard and shaking. “Stop — stop trying to —”

“Trying to tell the truth?” Deceit finished for him. “That is what I’m doing here, after all, and it is not exactly easy for me. Trust me —”

“Trust you?” Roman repeated with an incredulous laugh. “How can I — how can I trust anyone anymore? I know you all hate me! And I can’t even blame you! How could anyone care about someone like me?”

Well. At least he hadn’t lost his flair for the dramatic. The thought gave Deceit little comfort as he watched Roman crumble before him, a flood of doubt spilling from his mouth, like a broken record repeating Logan’s cruel words. Deceit swallowed, shoving away the power of Roman’s room before his own doubts could eat him alive.

“Easily,” he said, as gently as his aesthetic would allow. “You are more than what Logan said you are.”

“Liar!” Roman yelled, and flung a hand out in front of him. Something appeared in his grip. Deceit raised an eyebrow, staring at the… whatever it was. It looked like the hilt of a sword, almost, but the blade itself had been broken off, leaving only a few sharp shards of metal at the bottom.

But Roman — Roman stared at it like someone had just told him Broadway was canceled forever. His face crumpled, a sob wracking in his chest, and he curled in on himself as though he’d been stabbed, pain flashing through his tortured eyes. The hilt fell from his hand and shattered on the ground between them.

Oh, Deceit definitely knew how to comfort someone who was crying. He watched with dawning horror as tears built in the corners of Roman’s eyes and spilled down his ashy gray cheeks. “A-Ah,” he started, suave facade slipping. “Please, ah. Do not do that?”

Roman sobbed harder. Cursing under his breath, Deceit paused to think, eyebrows furrowing. What would a light side do? What… what would Patton do? He cleared his throat and tried to slip into the same mindset he’d used when impersonating Patton.

“Hey there, friendo,” he tried, stepping forward. “It’s gonna be okay!”

Roman stepped back, a pained noise tearing from his throat, and Deceit floundered. Okay, Patton wasn’t working. What would Virgil do?

“Princey,” he tried again, and Roman looked up as if on instinct at “Virgil’s” voice. Deceit hesitated, biting his lip. He knew how to impersonate the old Virgil, the one he knew, not the softened version the light sides had created. He cleared his throat, forcing as much gruff, reluctant care as he could into his voice. “You’ve gotta breathe. I’m, uh. I’m here for you. Just focus on my voice, we’ll do the 4-7-8 thing, okay?”

For a moment, it seemed to be working — but then Roman gasped, new tears pooling in his eyes. “S-Stop — stop trying to be them,” he managed through his sobs.

He… didn’t want the light sides? If Patton and Virgil didn’t work — and Logan certainly wouldn’t — what other options did he have? What other personas could he put on? Who could he be?

He could be himself.

The thought was so sickeningly soft, he almost vomited right then and there. “Be yourself,” what kind of foolish bullshit was that? He was Deceit; not being himself was practically in the job description.

But… perhaps it was worth a shot. What would he do?

He’d lie, he’d manipulate, he’d spout a flood of flattery and rebuild Roman’s confidence on a foundation of fabrications, and he’d leave the duct-taped approximation of “fixed” to the light sides for them to truly fix —

He stepped forward, drawing Roman into his arms. Roman tensed at his touch, his breath hitching in his throat, but to Deceit’s great surprise, he didn’t try to pull away. Deceit lowered them both to the bed, leaning against a bedpost and allowing Roman to lean into his chest. He didn’t say a word, only held Roman as tightly as he dared as he sobbed into his chest.

He didn’t know how long they stayed there, how long it took for Roman’s sobs to soften and die out, shaky breathing fading into something gentler and slower. Deceit’s skin burned wherever Roman touched him, and he never, ever wanted it to stop.

He blinked. Where had that come from? Of course it had to stop; he was there to fix the balance and be on his slimy way. There was no use hoping (ew) that this moment of quiet would ever exist outside the tower. Roman had the light sides to return to, a family to build anew, and Deceit… well, Deceit had heat lamps and a solitary job. That had always been more than enough for him.

Why did he feel like it wouldn’t be enough anymore?

No. No, he refused to follow that train of thought. He glanced down at Roman’s sleeping face, and sighed, gently pushing him away. Roman curled into himself the moment Deceit’s touch disappeared, uttering a string of soft, sleepy noises that Deceit didn’t have the energy to interpret. He watched the prince for a moment longer, and then limped to the armchair, settling into it as comfortably as he could.

He held himself as he fell asleep — and absolutely didn’t miss the warmth of Roman’s touch.

#shatter #shatter fic #roman sanders #deceit sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #roceit #sanders sides #thomas sanders #celeste's portfolio #uwu...

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