rhydium

[rhydium]

Heyy is everything okay :(? I haven't seen your posts on my dash in a while

yeah man no worries (<- actively rotting)

#jackal.txt #the answer is a hard no but the fact u noticed my absence and thought to ask is incredibly sweet thank u #sparing yall the gritty details

[rhydium]

just made a questionable purchase

#jackal.txt #ITS SO FUCKING STUPID I LOVE IT

[rhydium]

you're just mad that my presence is haunting and offputting and yours isn't

[rhydium]

btw i visited family the other day and mfw one of my cousins asks me why my hair is white. what am i supposed to say. do i just admit to being a sonic the hedgehog kinnie ?? fr fr ? i ended up just laughing and being like oh yeAH funny story actually. there is this uh, this guy, character, that i like and relate to a lot. and i stole his gender. which is the TRUTH but i was just like nauuuuur i am not abt to ask them if they know what kin means they probs aren’t online enough for my bs

#jackal.txt

[rhydium]

i was literally just put on this earth to be obnoxious and serve cunt

#jackal.txt #posts that are significantly funnier read in infinites voice

[rhydium]

OK GUYS WE HAVE THE LINK

you’ll find a good amount of details in here, but the main gist is that my qpp (disabled, demigirl, and one of the loves of my life) has been living with her abuser for 7 years now but she finally has the ability to see what they’ve been doing and wants out. she’s lived with them for a long time now and all of her items are currently at their house though, so she has to 1) retrieve her items and 2) find a new place to live. number 1 is the most important part right now, but we’re also trying to account for number 2 in the long term. right now, she’s staying at a hotel and has been for about 2 weeks.

they’ve been trying to get in contact with her for those 2 weeks including over discord, by phone and by her mother’s phone, with some… very interestingly worded stuff that reallyyyyyy comes off as threatening, talking about the shared financial account they have and the state of her items. we’re worried that if we take too long, something might happen to her belongings and she doesn’t have the money to replace much if that happens. this is 7 years worth of items, so it’s a pretty big deal to get as much as possible back for her.

after we get her items, we plan to get her an apartment. right now, she’s applied to a low income/disabled restriction housing place, but we’re not sure how long it’ll take for her to be processed, so we’re looking for short-term renting in the mean time just in case. the majority of money we raise will be going to that housing, whether its for the hotel room she’s staying at now or the apartment that she’ll hopefully be able to get.

PLEASE please please spread this around and donate if you can!! she deserves a happy life where she isn’t under the thumb of someone else. she’s an amazing person and i wouldn’t be where i am without her, and i know she deserves the same kindness that she gives out. so, please, spread the word if you can <3

her k*fi is at sorrowfulsiren and her paypal/venmo can be found on the page above!!!

#spreadin the word!! #if u can help our friend out she (and the rest of us) would all rly appreciate it <3

[rhydium]

hey bestie! just letting you know i’m transforming into something unspeakable

[rhydium]

I was at a CIA blacksite once & when the guy came in to interrogate me I blushed and went “omg pls be gentle its my first time 🥺 ive never been tortured before,,” & he turned around and walked out & then I escaped through the vents like metal gear

#infinite postwar GUN interrogation

[rhydium]

love when characters have to have a domestication arc before you can even consider giving them a redemption arc

[rhydium]

unrelated but consider. post-ruby corruption infinite but w/ calne ca vibes. liiiiiterally the character design ever but maybe not if body horror (and also bugs sometimes) is smth that discomforts u

#jackal.txt #the bacterial contamination amv is SO. ouuughghgh. u know? #but again like. cw body horror and bugs. that one also has themes of bullying and sui so. dont watch it unless ur cool w/ that #OTHERWISE i recommend super epic swag visuals and again HER DESIGN

[rhydium]

call me oversensitive or something if you want but personally as a survivor of developmental trauma that is ingrained into my sense of being in such foundational ways that i'll probably never be able to fully rid myself of its effects (and that's okay) i'd rather see more messaging along the lines of "you'll someday reach a point where you realize there is so much more to who you are as a person than your trauma/suffering" as opposed to "stop making your trauma/suffering apart of your identity that's not healthy" because, to me, the latter almost frames it as if not being able to just snap yourself out of that mindset (or if you're still being regularly subject to more trauma) is some kind of personal failing, whereas the latter seems more like the kind of compassionate sentiment that people like me need.

it's hard not to identify with suffering when that's all you've ever been given to work with. it's hard not to identify with suffering when you're still being put through it due to circumstances outside of your control. it's hard when the former happens and then the latter happens too to reinforce it. idk i really dislike the way online recovery culture often seems to implicitly moralize aspects of "recovery" like this, or acts as if recovery is solely about one's personal choices rather than other factors (like whether one is even in a safe and stable enough life circumstance) playing a role that's just as big, if not bigger.

[rhydium]

holy mother of god i have GOT to get weirder

[rhydium]

keep tasting blood in my mouth but like i’m sure it’s totally fine and i definitely shouldn’t look into it lol <3

#jackal.txt #blood mention #medical #?? #its one of the flavours ever

[rhydium]

everyone’s comfort characters are either gay, mass murderers, mentally unstable or just straight up dead or all of these

[rhydium]

#shadow the hedgehog

[rhydium]

the thing about edgy serial killer songs is that sometimes they slap sorry

[rhydium]

the way i was so afraid of being alone but now it's comfortable and empowering and the way i used to crave validation and engagement but now i'm online less and less and i prefer keeping a lot of my content personal rather than sharing it. when the sense u need something fades away, u get to ask if it's what u *want*

#jackal.txt #for any1 who may be wondering why im less active these days lol. im havin me time. im chillin. figuring stuff out ykno